#Zebplanet

[zebulontheplanet]

Just a reminder that people who still live with their parents as adults deserve respect and for you to stop being ableist. There are multiple reasons someone could still live with their parents! From invisible to visible disabilities, finance issues, and more!

Stop using the “well they’re gonna turn into a creep living in their parents basement” punchline! It’s disgusting. STOP. BEING. ABLEIST. STOP. FORGETTING. THE. POOR.

[zebulontheplanet]

Yes. Some autistic people can pay taxes, write poems, live an independent life, etc.

But some of us cant. Some of us, like me, cant live independently. Cant be without someone. Cant be a member of society without extreme accommodation and help.

I need help in everyday life. I have a caregiver for gods sake. I need help in everyday life and will never be independent. It’s frustrating to constantly get comments about how autistic people can live independently. Cause some of us cant, and that needs to be talked about. I get sores from not showering enough. I get sores from my wheelchair. I have cavities from not brushing my teeth enough.

Life with higher support needs shouldn’t be something that is ignored and not talked about. My caregiver helps me live life as independently as possible. Independence looks different for everyone. Our caregivers are an extension of ourselves. Our caregivers are important and should be recognized. Stop throwing us under the bus for your “salvation”

We are all at risk, and throwing higher support needs people under the bus will not benefit you. You’re ruining years of advocacy by your words and videos.

[zebulontheplanet]

I get really confused, and even angry sometimes at lower support needs people who don’t understand the true meaning of autonomy and when it comes to caregivers and guardianship.

I mentioned ONCE in a group about wanting to go into assisted living and looking into it. Immediately got dog piled by people saying to absolutely not go into assisted living because itd “take away my autonomy” and “I should just live with others for as long as possible.”

Assisted living, group homes, guardianship, whatever, can very much mean that someone actually GAINS autonomy. And independence. The goal is for quality of life. We should be focusing on quality of life instead of what YOU want. What YOU want as a lower support needs person because you’ve heard bad stories.

Higher support needs people often don’t get the decision. It’s life or death for them. Y’all HAVE to realize that.

Stop forcing your narrative on young higher support needs people who are looking into different options for their care. Yes. It’s SCARY to be put in a bad situation, but often times it’s trial and error for us. Y’all HAVE to realize that. We don’t have the privilege to pick and choose between if we just live independently or go in a group home. It’s group home, or death, or living in a fucked up, maybe even abusive situation already.

Stop it.

[zebulontheplanet]

Things that should be accepted in the autism community that isn’t currently acceptable or talked about enough or talked about as gross.

Being nonverbal (as in can’t talk at all permanently)

Having caretakers

Having other people do ADLs for you. Especially bathing and toileting.

Being talked to in simplified language

Being dirty

Drooling

Chewing on things

Stimming violently and loudly

Hitting yourself

Vocal stimming loudly

Being higher support needs

Being higher support needs and a POC

Being intellectually disabled with autism

And so much more. I shout-out anyone who are these things or do these things. You are amazing.

[zebulontheplanet]

Today, I took my wheelchair out to go to the library. I usually use crutches when out, but today I decided to bring my wheelchair. It was…an experience. A very upsetting one.

It started off good. The bus drivers were nice and secured me correctly. Everything was great. That was until we had to take a short walk to the library. The sidewalks were uneven, businesses had tables and chairs in the middle of the sidewalk. The cross walks were to steep and had bumps at the bottom of them, so when I’d go down them, I would almost tip forward, and once even did tip forward. Luckily my partner caught me before I fell out, but my stuff went flying. It was very upsetting, but I laughed it off.

Before I went to the library, I did look up if they had an accessible entrance, and according to them, they did. So I went, and I learned quickly that it wasn’t accessible at all. The ramp into the library was too steep. I couldn’t get up it myself and needed my partners help. The library itself inside, was great! Except the fact there were stepping stools in the isles that I couldn’t get around so my partner had to move them. Besides that, the inside of the library was great.

All in all, the library itself was great and accessible to me. But the walk to the library? Not at all. The entrance to the library? Not accessible. Accessibility is more than a ramp. It needs to be something that people can actually use. It was very very frustrating and upsetting. I deserve to be in places with my wheelchair. I deserve to use my wheelchair. I deserve to walk around the town. I deserve all of that.

Luckily my partner was willing to help, and was more then happy to help me out all along the way, although we did both agree that I will probably not be taking my wheelchair back into town anytime soon. I hate it. Made me very upset. Made me want to cry and meltdown. Made me want to scream.

Society itself needs to do better. Towns need to do better.

[zebulontheplanet]

If I see one more abled person HUG THE FUCKING WALL. While I roll past in my wheelchair and act like they’re getting pushed against it. I will FUCKING lose it!!

Don’t hug the wall people. I’m not gonna run you over. There is no need for you to hug the wall with your hands up.

[zebulontheplanet]

This is your reminder because some of y’all are fucking weird.

An adult who has high support needs is NOT the same as a toddler. A high support needs adult is NOT “functionally a child”

THEY. ARE. AN. ADULT.

High support needs people that are adults are fucking adults. Stop speaking of them like they aren’t. “Oh but they can’t do this independently and they act very childish” THEY ARE HIGH SUPPORT NEEDS. STOP IT.

[zebulontheplanet]

I think the topic of consent is very important, and I think as an intellectually disabled person, it’s even more important to talk about what I was taught, and what my mom did.

My mom, who was a single woman at the time, explicitly taught me about consent. Why? Because she knew that I, as an intellectually disabled person and autistic person, needed to know it. And it needed to be drilled into my head the importance of consent. Not only did she teach me this, but she taught me how to communicate to trusted people if something happened. She knew that if she didn’t, the chances of me not knowing, or not understanding certain aspects of consent and sex in general, would be profoundly higher than my peers.

She noticed, she did the research, she taught and did what she could. And I am forever grateful for that. Intellectually disabled people, who have a higher rate of things happening to them and being abused, NEED to be taught about sex education, consent, and how to communicate if something were to happen. We are at a much higher rate of being sexually abused than our peers. And it is so so important that these things are taught to us so we are aware and able to protect ourselves and know when it’s time to contact a trusted adult.

[zebulontheplanet]

People take the word ambulatory wheelchair user, and say it means exclusively part time wheelchair users and run with it.

I’m an ambulatory wheelchair user. But I’m not a part time wheelchair user. I use my wheelchair EVERY SINGLE day. That means that I’m not a part time wheelchair user, because I use it more than part time. A lot more than part time.

There seems to be this new rhetoric, that ambulatory = part time. And for most, this isn’t the case. Ambulatory does not mean part time, it simply means that you can walk.

I can walk around my room unassisted by any mobility aids. I cannot walk to the lunch room which is literally up the hall without a mobility aid. I’m almost a full time crutch user, and I’m an ambulatory wheelchair user.

I am not a part time mobility aid user, and I hate that people have come to the “agreement” that ambulatory means part time, when that is quite literally, not true.

[zebulontheplanet]

I don’t think people understand how it is to have been behind on EVERY milestone. Learning how to walk? Late. Learning to read? Late. Learning to use the bathroom independently? Late. Every single milestone was late.

And when you have this, people ask questions. People bully you. Why can’t you shower by yourself at 9,10,15,20? Why can’t you brush your teeth independently and frequently? Why can’t you tie your shoes? Why can’t you do math? Why can’t you do this, or that.

And then there’s the people on social media. “Well I was forced to.” “Well I didn’t have a choice” and that’s understandable and completely valid, but there are people that no matter how much you force them, or neglect them so they “figure it out” they won’t “figure it out”. They’ll die. They’ll starve. They’ll not bathe and be dirty.

Higher support needs people don’t just “figure it out” our brains are wired differently. Our brains don’t get that we HAVE to do these things just to survive. So we don’t. And that sucks.

It’s disheartening to constantly hear people say “well i was forced to” because so was I!! I was forced to do things too! I was neglected too! And guess what? I still didn’t do those things. I STILL wasn’t able to meet those milestones.

The big one that I see is “well I’m forced to talk.” And I get that, but me, a person that’s nonverbal, can’t be forced to talk. No matter if I’m neglected, no matter if my device is taken away or I have no way of communication. I still wouldn’t be able to talk. I CANNOT force myself to talk. Get that through your heads. This is my reality, and although yours sucked there are still some people who cannot do things, and saying that they could if they were “forced” is invalidating of them.

[zebulontheplanet]

Anyways.

Higher support needs disabled people needing help with things like eating, going to the bathroom, and showering isn’t gross or babyish.

It isn’t gross to have help showering, or using the bathroom, or any other bADL. Disabled people deserve not to be called gross for needing help with hygiene and things. Disabled people deserve to be seen as people if they need help with these things.

I’m a disabled person who needs help with showering, grooming, and sometimes eating (yes, physically getting the food from the fork to my mouth) and that doesn’t make me gross. That doesn’t make me babyish. That makes me a higher support needs adult. That makes me someone who needs help. Stop saying that these things are gross to need help with, or telling people that “you’re grown, you should be able to do this”. That isn’t helping anyone.

Especially with the autistic community constantly screaming about how we don’t need help with these things, when a lot of us do. A lot of us do need substantial help with bathing, grooming, and toileting. Some of us do need substantial help with all these things, and people need to realize that.

[zebulontheplanet]

I think people have greatly watered down autism into this silly label or identity that they can collect.

I’ve seen multiple posts that defend that autism should be an identity, similar to how sexualities and gender labels are. I think they’re missing multiple things with this analogy. First, you cannot help your queerness. It’s not simply a “label” it’s your whole being. It’s who you are.

I want people to realize that autism is a serious disorder for over half of people diagnosed with autism. From more then 30% being higher support needs, to more than that having different comorbidities, it’s a serious disorder. Not only can it affect every aspect of your life, it can severely affect how your health is, how independent you are, etc.

To a lot of people autism isn’t “a silly label” it’s a disorder. A disorder that comes with comorbities, that affects how they speak or don’t speak, how they view the world, how the process or dont process things, etc.

Higher support needs people need to be recognized, and in turn you have to recognize the disorders that they have. You can’t ignore them. You can’t simply shrug it off as a silly little label or identity.

People deserve to have their life altering disorders taken seriously and not turned into something that’s shrugged off and seen as another add in the newspaper. Autism is serious. It’s a neurodevelopmental disorder. Say what it is. Don’t water it down.

That’s all.

[zebulontheplanet]

I don’t think people fucking realize this so let me say this again.

Me being nonverbal absolutely makes me more prone to violence, harassment, and ableism. It makes people automatically know that something isn’t right with me. That something’s “wrong” with me.

Nonverbal autistic people don’t have the privilege of not being perceived as autistic. My grunts, my whines, my hums, my silence, is all perceived. My hand flapping, my rocking, my AAC device. It’s all perceived. It’s all looked at. Judged at.

So get the fuck off with this “oh but even though you’re nonverbal that doesn’t mean you’re perceived as autistic” IT LITERALLY HAS. IM NONVERBAL. I cannot speak. I rely solely on a device and people to speak for me. I rely solely on if that person is actually going to be a decent fucking person and take me seriously or accept my silence.

Nonverbal autistic people, are the brunt of the violence and ableism. We are your punching bags. I’m fucking tired of it.

[zebulontheplanet]

“AFAB autism this..” “AFAB autism that..”

Please STOP. I literally want to BITE you.

AFAB autism isn’t a thing. You’re either high masking or you’re not. You’re either autistic or you’re not. There’s no AFAB and AMAB autism. Stop it. You sound dumb.

I get it, AFAB people are DRASTICALLY underdiagnosed due to the social standards that they are held up to so they mask more. Not to mention that the majority of autism research is done on white boys.

However, that doesn’t give you the excuse to use AFAB autism. IT. ISNT. A. THING.

Instead, use terms such as “autism in AFAB” “how autism affects AFAB” “AFAB and their experiences with autism” etc etc. not “AFAB autism” isn’t a thing. Never will be.

[zebulontheplanet]

Hearing constantly about gifted autistic kids and people seeing it as THEE autistic trait has completely disregarded those who aren’t gifted and made a HUGE divide in the community. Seeing constantly “yeah autistic people are usually gifted” is so annoying because a VERY large chunk of autistic people, aren’t actually gifted and media has just put the gifted people at the front because they’re more palatable. The “autistic gifted kid burnout” has become more so a trend than anything and I’ve seen a lot of people assume they’re autistic because they are the “gifted kid burnout person” when that isn’t even a requirement for an autism diagnosis. You don’t have to be gifted to be autistic. You don’t have to be!!

Start putting the people who struggle more in the spotlight. Those with intellectual disabilities, those with learning disabilities, those with cognitive disabilities, those who are just generally stereotypically “dumb” and embrace it!

We need to have a very big discussion about this as a community and it needs to start today.

[zebulontheplanet]

If you constantly compare intellectually disabled people to toddlers and children, then you’re the problem.

Intellectually disabled adults are adults. They’re just intellectually disabled. Stop. Comparing. Them. To. Children.