#a big ugly bug called a human man

[erenxfrieda]

kind of headcannons about yanderes, so basic warnings about kidnapping, manipulation, unhealthy dynamics, obsession, overprotective behavior.

I kind of lied about Fern being the best yandere of AT, IMO Betty would be the best choice, girl freaking holds her man like her wifey, punches weird magical creatures she saw for the first time and she doesn't give a F about some big ass red boss baby , ALL FOR A MAN!!!

as for yandere potential, I would have ranked them like this. ↓

Betty/Golbetty is a really dedicated, ruthless and determined person when it comes to saving and protecting people she loves, even as a regular human she does really scary stuff against some powerful beings, all for beloved! I also really like Magicwoman Betty, I like insane yanderes losing their mind over how to save s/o , especially if they were really sweet and caring before all the crazy stuff happened.

Lich is kind of underrated tho, his voice actor really serves, a good villain which would give me god-like yandere villain/human beloved vibes which would be like a pet for Lich. The power difference is tasty, not to mention the size difference. Would wish to extinct all the life in the universe only for you to be all alone with him :P

Simon is not like Betty, even though he totally would do the same as her, sacrifice everything he has only for his s/o, without them he is nothing and pathetic to watch. but I see him as some kind of father figure with fucked up mind. Hates himself for it, thinks he's too old for you, you totally deserve better than someone like him, but not like he is against the idea of you being around him.

Scarab, The Star somehow like Lich, if you are human or just weaker than them, they would treat you as some sort of pet too. Maybe Scarab would taunt you more, calling you pathetic, ugly and disgusting, at the same time he would be the one who bathes you all the time. He thinks he is superior, but actually freak deep inside. But I would give bonus points for the reverse dynamic, s/o who treats Scarab as a bug he is, not caring about him begging for a job as a wishmaster. step on him, squish him like a bug, but he would run to you for more.

Ooo Finn is himbo, funny guy, actually average yandere, but Jake's death really changes his view on life. It's canon that he waits for the day he dies just to see his brother again. I think he would be a really overprotective one, always on your side whenever you go, helping you with whatever you have to do even if it's something simple. I love the idea of the good loyal hero being a little too protective towards their s/o. Most of the time Finn actually can't understand what he is doing wrong, so if you tell them about it, he would laugh it off.

FW Finn is such a cherry. I would pick Ice Finn and adult FW Finn for this. Ice Finn is scary, before he goes crazy, he is a polite and cute young man, but like other crown users, he has a really deep sense of love for the one he loves enough to put that cursed thing on his head just to save them. I see him more like a creepy guy, not like Ice King tho, Ice Finn would be kind of scarier since all those buildings made of frozen people would scare off everyone. He would be a clingy guy seeking human warmth since his body temperature is too low, but don't run away from him or you will add to his frozen collection.

Adult FW Finn are much cooler in both senses, like Ooo Finn he is overprotective, might be even more since Destiny Gang is always around and he can't let his s/o to be killed by them, he already had to lose his wife, so you would be guarded 24/7. Canonically, Finn would totally hear you once you try to leave him, so don't try it. He won't hurt you, but you would lose your privilege to walk.

Minerva just like her son is the one who wants to help people all the time. Even though they don't really want her help. It will be short here, but like I said about Finn before, she is an overprotective one, and her being everywhere literally would make your life a living nightmare since it would be hard as hell to leave her.

I already made headcannons about Fern, so will be short here too. Fern>Finn in yandere behavior, Fern is violent due to grass demon influence, he has low self-esteem, he doesn't think he deserves you since Finn would be much better at protecting you from harm. But his mind is constantly changing, so in the moment of trying to prove himself, he will kidnap or kill whoever stays on his way to get you, not to mention that if you are the person who's in good relationships with Finn, he would not hesitate to take care of Finn and take his place.

Winter King is a weirdo who has too much power. He is affectionate and could mess with the brains of everyone with his charm. Look at him, such a nice and powerful King! How could you not love him, dude?? Money, knowledge, power, love, all he has and he will give it to you. Well, if you are smart enough to see him playing, his mood will turn into a more angry one, showing some traits of the Ice King. So yeah, same old kidnapping Ice King stuff...

For PB&Candy Queen it's obvious, just like Ice Kings, she is a crazy girl, the definition of yandere, but her blender thingie is actually impressive. I don't think she will be all lovey dovey with her s/o, like she could play her songs for you, keeping you trapped, but one day you will be mixed with her together. PB from the vampire world is kind of like a much cooler version of OG PB, I like her character design and how she is portrayed, I just like strong women who would dominate you, that's all.

Can't say much about Hunter, Fionna, PB, Marceline or Phoebe for now. They're kind of chill and too cute, I can't see them doing crazy stuff (for now). For Huntress Wizard, my love, I see her cool and chill too, but this girl would give you some wild presents like when she gave Finn an animal's heart 😭 well, she is a lonely wolf type, kind of don't know what couples are supposed to do and would try to express herself in her own style which would weird you out a little but she still tries!

Peppermint Butler is kind of underrated too, he's a freaking funny guy, no one would actually believe you if you say that this candy guy would do some creepy shit. I mean look at him! Kind of like more the idea where his s/o is some really powerful entity like Death or Vampire King, he would daydream about you, giggling and kicking his feet making weird fanfics about you in his journal~~~

For Uncle Gambald and Patience, I would say they're pretty strong and violent. Don't disobey those two unless you want to die or something, are you stupid?? Patience at least would try to appear like she's actually trying to be good, she wants to know you more and teach some stuff, or tell stories about the past, just don't ignore her. Uncle Gambald is a creep, stay away from him!! He's gonna make you dumb candy citizen too!!

I actually love Prismo so much, but as for yandere he would be really tied up to his work. I mean, he can't do anything with you when you are outside his time room. He is helpless. He can't touch you or feel you like others would, he can't be around you 24/7 like them, he can't give you what most people need from their partners and it is really sad. Of course, he can make you appear in his time room whenever he wants, he can make everything you wish for, hoping that maybe you will stay with him a little longer. I don't think he would appear angry or annoyed by you, he's too sweet and caring. If you want to leave just go, but he would feel like shit without you around, his work is boring as hell, people who came for making a wish are annoying him, his time room is full of garbage. But Prismo's attention focused totally on videos of you from different universes, the only thing keeping him entertained.

[sicksucculentz]

You want some more feral Zane head cannons? here you go, right in your face.

Despite being as feral as a wild hog he's excellent with tech. Not nearly up to the level as Jay. Tech has changed so much sense he was created so he's had to learn how to use all new tech despite being fully functional independent AI himself. He can use the computer just fine, phones, game consoles, etc. He does actually have a phone! it's a little bit ugly because it's got one of those big bulky shock proof, waterproof cases on it. He loves his phone! it has all his shows on it! The shock case is a little beat up but that's what it's for, to protect his phone.

His verbal speaking style is very illiterate and often lacking in certain small words. Verbally he will say things like "don't want" "give" "please no" "get, get". His texting is far different. His texts read as normal and without abbreviations. He will text out a full sentence. He uses emojis to! He likes fucking around with them and ending random unexplained emojis to his friends without warning. Speaking: "get....get!" texting and or writing: "please get that spider. I'm scared of spiders"

He can drive just about anything as well! He's pretty good at driving and there's no question he will be fine behind a wheel.

Ever sense he died and came back he's been court ordered therapy and counseling. A family sued when their son was kicked and seriously injured at a meet up from which Zane was also attending. The case ended up being dropped when the facts came to light. The young man did not head the signs and blatant warning to not come any closer than 5 feet from the ninja themselves. Kid was a big fan of Cole and wanted to shake his hand. Due to safety reasons that could not happen. Despite being yelled at after crossing the line he continued to advance. Zane took this as a threat to his best friends safety and given the constant state of the city Zane nailed him square in the hip, just sent him flying. It was determined that be in self-defense but Zane still ended up having to attend counseling.

He was hooked up with the perfect counselor!. An older male, about in his early 30's and a former feral himself!. During very early childhood he was neglected by his parents and often locked out of the house. He found shelter, love, and warmth with coyotes. Truly a rare relationship but those coyotes raised him until he reached the age of 13. At 13 he was completely feral, even more so than Zane. He tread on all fours and feared humans, didn't even realize he's a human as well. He was slowly rehabilitated and is now a fairly well-adjusted man. He truly understands the turmoil Zane is going through and doesn't wish to change Zane too much, he only wants to help train this aggression out of him and give him other outs to deal with situations that stress him out. Zane is his first nindroid case so he was shocked to find out what happened to his mind could happen to a nindroid as well and have the same effects.

He still needs regular maitence and checkups. Nindroids are supposed to have checkups every 4 or so months to make sure there's no bugs or anything starting to fail. Jay is the top number 1 person to do this. Nya is right behind him on that but that's because she's a little rough with Zane and can even break more than fix anything. Kai can't do it, he has no idea what the fuck he's doing with a car engine. Cole wont do it ether, he can't handle looking inside of Zane or any other nindroid. Nindroids are on the same level as humans to him so looking at their insides is like looking at a humans internal organs to him. It's even worse with Zane because Zane is his best best friend.

His voice is a little bit nasally but he can get real throaty with some of those treehorn calls. Treehorns actually squeak and chitter a lot but there are some deeper more scary sounds they make. Their snarls are long and hissy but with this underlaying rumbling that just vibrates your chest. He’s pulled out the snarl a couple times but only when he SUPER angry. He scared the shit out of Garmadon with it once. He’s even done it at another nindroid. Another nindroid was chatting Pixal up and not listening to her when she said she’s taken. Zane was piiiisssssed, not at Pixal but the other nindroid. He started stalking back and forth in front of her and staring this other nindroid down while using a treehorns snarl. Pixal stated that she’s never seen him so angry and out of character before.

Zane does actully have pet names for Pixal!! He calls her Shiny, richy kissy, etc. what does Pixal call him? Stupid fucking animal, dipshit, roadkill, squishy, yard dog, fuzzy, etc. she means it in the most loving way she just likes to show her affection in odd ways. She only calls him the meaner names when he’s acting a pain in the ass….which is often.

Pixal and Zane are actually married! They had a nice mellow September wedding. The whole team was best man. Borg walked his daughter down the isle and gave her away, proud as the day he created her and he cried like a baby. Even Skales was there with his own wife and kids! Dareth read their vows and wed them. Currently they are approaching their 3rd anniversary with hopes of a cruise.

Kai likes to make noises at him, he always starts making the noises back. He could start grunting like a monkey and doing a little monkey dance and Zane will start doing it to. Zane and Kai’s relationship is different from the others. Where as Jay, Cole, Lloyd, and Nya pet and hang on him Kai is quite stand offish and likes to interact from a distance. He’s not touchy feely. They still hang out and have fun it’s just stuff like football, soccer, making up silly bits, or playing video games. Lloyd, Cole, and Nya rough house and wrestle and play fight with him. Jay’s not about that, he’s rather work on a car with Zane or play video games with him.

He's more short tempered and grouchy as compared to cannon Zane. He's lost his temper a couple of times and even torn apart another nindroid. He's killed another nindroid. His own team mates hid from him! they ran away and hid because he was just flinging bits of this other nindroid around like confetti. He was so pissed off there was over heated plumes of smoke coming from his nose. They later ended up having to calm him in the way one calms a horse! that's the angriest he's ever been, Pixal wasn't there so she never saw this.

He’s cussed before and he will cuss again. Cuss words hold nothing to him, it’s just another word that people flip out on him for saying. He dosent understand WHY the word is considered to be ‘bad’. You can bet everything and win in assuming Lloyd taught him to curse. Ooooooh yea! He’s taught him some nasty words he picked up from his time in Darkly’s.

During a repair Nya got a little too rough and completely disconnected something vital. He shut down like a dead phone and Nya had to scramble to figure out how to fix it. Once he came back he sat up very violently and yelled “BITCH!”

[lady-charinette]

Following this amazing post:

FML TUMBLR DELETED MY LONG POST TIME TO TYPE AGAIN

@ghostlyhamburger My friend you're awesome, beautiful, talented, smart- thanks for the tag!! Also: I'm so In LOVE with this AU!!

Chloe as Gaston absolutely fucks, who else would sing an entire song about themselves and how great they are (No one _ like Chloe fits to a "T")

Instead of Theo being Gaston, he's one of the trio of men who fawn over and worship Chloe (like those three women in the primary colors fawning over Gaston)

Lefou is definitely Sabrina, what I also think fits this really well is the small, few moments where Lefou feels remorse for Gaston's actions that hurt Belle but he still remains loyal to Gaston

Marinette will wreck half the castle bc who the fuck has ugly antique furniture who can talk as roommates. Chip (maybe the blue haired boy from Sandboy) slowly befriends her after he sees Marinette show remorse for accidentally killing his mom "She was a beautiful teapot." "Yes she was."

Lumiere being Alya slaps, Cogsworth is either Nino or Alix/ Bunnyx (get it? Time, clock?)

If Nino isn't Cogsworth then he is definitely the Featherduster who dramatically and gracefully dances with Alya, she accidentally burns off some of his feathers and he wears his signature cap from the show to hide how bald he became. At least he still has feathers to dust furniture with.

The wardrobe is either Juleka or Rose OR BOTH: listen, they dress Marinette in the most beautiful dresses and gowns, in colors of pink, purple and black bc it fits with her colors

Just bc Marinette is a XXL sized bug doesn't mean she doesn't rock skirts and ballroom gowns Marinette designed and had sewn some of her clothes herself, turns out her little stick arms are perfect for precision work

The first time Adrien sees Marinette she has her back to him and he think she's some lost princess or kidnapped by the beast of the castle, she wears a cowl so he can't see her features. When Marinette dramatically turns around and all he sees is a 6ft bug with twitching antennas and huge blue eyes Adrien screams the damsel in distress scream and faints

Marinette may not have the ferocious roar of the Beast, but her twitching antennas and wiggling ladybug wings definitely look menacing to Adrien behind bars when she throws him in the cell

Marinette would've been more than happy to burn Gabriel alive but Adrien has too good a heart and offers himself in his father's stead. It doesn't surprise Marinette when no answer came from Gabriel, no gold to be paid for Adrien's freedom or a mob sent to kill her. Marinette lies when Adrien asks if she heard news of his father, she willingly paints herself the villain. It's easier to see the contempt for her in his green eyes than the devastating sadness if he heard his father didn't care at all.

Marinette will absolutely eat Gabriel alive, she may not be a man eating bug but damn it if she won't force her diet to change if it means getting the man away from Adrien

In a surprising twist of events, wolves are absolutely terrified of a 6ft tall ladybug with bustling wings who bears her twitchy antennas ferociously at them

The first time Adrien and Marinette grow closer was when he complimented her wings and how beautiful they looked and how soulful her big eyes were (Marinette wasn't used to hearing this, after all who would call a bug beautiful by any means? She wasn't beautiful like the butterflies visiting her blooming garden)

Marinette is pleasantly surprised to learn Adrien can cook, how can a human be so handsome and pretty and cook so well? The residents of the castle didn't starve for the first time since 100 years

Chloe's first offense against Marinette was her calling Adrien's new attire hideous (Marinette designed that herself), her second one was calling Marinette's roommates lifeless, ugly furniture, nobody called her roommates ugly except Marinette!

Marinette @ Chloe:"They have more life in them than you ever will, despite sucking the souls out of whoever you kiss." Chloe:" :0" (insert shocked pikachu face)

After turning human Marinette still has the antennas on top of her head and Adrien finds them adorable. Marinette is glad she still has them bc she would feel incomplete without that part of her (the Bug Life is the Thug Life)

[taxfraudhousewife]

I AM BOY CRAZY

BEWITCHED, BODY AND SOUL

I AM ENAMOURED

OVERFLOWING WITH WANT

i obsess over you

never skip the homework

you and your hair might be my nine eleven

you and your politics might change everything

it’s socialist girl summer

for me at least

of course you’re pretty that’s how it always starts

and i’m crazy for thinking you’re the one straight man other than julian i can trust with my body and soul

still it’s delusional girl summer and i’m ready to possibly get my heart fuckin curb stomped again

maybe it’s actually a terrible idea

emotional rebounding is literally all i fuckin do

i definitely should not mourn a lost version of my future by creating a new one with you

still you’re pretty and tall

cool enough to be cool but so obviously a youngest son

enough that i wonder if you used to be me

might i attain that same level of cool if you’d let me learn

so pretty and tall

i think you’re funny

you either think i’m really funny

or you’re really really polite

either way i think you’re nice

nice enough to treat me like a person but mean enough to call me flat

had me thinking you knew i’d secretly take it as a gender affirming compliment

you definitely didn’t

i’m fuckin boy crazy and it’s your fault

unluckily for you accutane works and i don’t have a panic attack every time im perceived by a human

good luck you’re gonna either marry me or hate me or both

i am shitting my pants terrified

you joke about being super mentally ill

i always tell myself i can handle it

i try to warn you by joking about being super mentally ill

hope you’re not warning me cause i’m already bewitched

big ass north african bug eyes

long ass camel face

narrow ass womanly hands

how perfect

the average man will never know how the average girl obsesses over hands

it’s nothing but boy crazy

when everything that makes him ugly makes him beautiful

when the sight of a boy makes you overthink the concept of gender

there is nothing to do but concede to his witchcraft

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Since Sylveon from Courtney (Prodject SNT) has trolled every pokemon, I decided to make my own roasts, starting with Kanto.

Bulbasaur: How does it feel to be the best Kanto starter strategically and yet also the least popular?

Ivysaur: If it wasn't for smash, most people would've forgotten that you exist.

Venusaur: Why do you have such an ugly backside?

Charmander: For the most popular starter, you'd think you would have a more consistent sprite.

Charmeleon: Pikachu being a mouse I get, but how are you a chameleon!?

Charizard: Their category should be changed to "The cash cow pokemon".

Squirtle: Remember when people thought you were part squirrel because of your name and tail?

Wartortle: Who are you again?

Blastoise: How do you grab anything with those stubby arms?

Caterpie: Hello, Wormy from Spongebob.

Metapod: 💤💤💤.

Butterfree: I prefer mine with butter, thank you very much.

Weedle: Well if it isn't the only pokemon who can't learn any normal type moves.

Kakuna: It's slightly more interesting than Metapod, but only slightly.

Beedrill: You look more like a hornet than a bee, so go away!

Pidgey: Baby's first birdie.

Pidgeotto: They clearly dye their head feathers to get that flawless red color.

Pidgeot: Why does the middle evolution have the longer name!?

Rattata: Youngster Joey is the only one who actually likes you.

Raticate: You do look a hairy potato with teeth.

Spearow: How does it feel to have the anime label you all as aggressive assholes?

Spearow: You have to be the worst shiny I ever catched!

Ekans: If it wasn't for team rocket, you'd only be known for your ridiculous name.

Arbok: Seviper is apparently their evolution, no wait, the anime is just full of lies.

Pickachu: They're basically Mickey mouse if he had electric powers.

Raichu: The anime just had to make every raichu an asshole to give Ash's pikachu an excuse to not want to evolve.

Sandshrew: You look more like an armadillo than a shrew.

Sandslash: Your Alolan form is a lot more interesting.(it's my opinion, don't attack me)

The entire nidoran line (both male and female): The fact that nidoran♀ is the only one who can breed with the entire nidoran♂ feels like an unintentional p*dofelic breeding fetish.

Clefairy: I personally think making pikachu the mascot instead was a good call.

Clefable: Remember, the clefairy line walked so elgyem and beheeyem could run.

Vulpix: I've got nothing, vulpix is the best Kanto pokemon.(again, it's my opinion, don't attack me)

Ninetales: Congratulations for having one of the least creative pokemon names.

Jigglypuff: How does it feel to only be known for being a brat in the anime?

Wigglytuff: It's gen one sprite was really something else, and not in a good way.

Zubat: The vermin of caves.

Golbat: How do you fly with that big mouth?

Oddish: "Insert 4/20 joke here"

Gloom: Its name speaks for itself.

Vileplume: I bet it smells as vile as its name suggests.

Paras: Can someone please remove those parasitic mushrooms from its back!?

Parasect: Too late, they've already taken over...

Venonat: The anime also lies about it not being a bug type.

Venomoth: You're only remembered because a dumb theory.

Diglett: Someone pointed out that their nose looks like a mouth with one tooth and now I can't unsee it.

Dugtrio: This evolution is almost as lazy as electrode.(I'm gonna get a lot of death threats with how much I'm bashing gen one)

Meowth: You're the Tom to Pikachu's Jerry.

Persian: Try not to get a big head, okay?

Psyduck: Do you need some ibuprofen?

Golduck: It's the "why isn't this a psychic type" pokemon.

Mankey: The manly monkey.

Primape: How does it learn iron tail without having a tail?(especially if the primape's female?)

Growlithe: Baby's first doggo.

Arcane: The rejected legendary.

Poliwag: Just a round boi.

Polywhirl: Congratulations, you can finally hold things.

Polywrath: Why are you so pissed, man?

Abra: The teleporting troll.

Kadabra: the fact that they used to be a human has very disturbing implications.

Alakazam: The perfect pokemon to eat icecream with.

Machop: Why does it have chest gills?

Machoke: It pisses me off that pokemon like delphox and meowscarada get demonized for being "too humanoid" when this fucker exist!

Machamp: Why does it look like it's wearing briefs?

Bellsprout: Its head sure does look like a bell.

Weepinbell: One of many gen one poison/grass types.

Victreebel: Remember, Victreebel walked so guzzlord could run.

Tentacool: Funny, you're actually not cool at all.

Tentacruel: That name makes more sense.

Geodude: I was gonna say "baby's first rock monster" but that joke has already been used twice.

Graveler: Why did you grow an extra set of arms, only to ditch them once you evolve!?

Golem: Why do you have a lizard face all of a sudden?

Ponyta: Imagine your kid wanting a horse for either their birthday or Christmas and the only option is one that would burn the house down.

Rapidash: You want me to ride on its back!? Yeah, I'll just take the bus.

Slowpoke: No thoughts, head empty.

Slowbro: I can't get over the fact that it's constantly being bitten.

Magnemite: This should've been a gen two pokemon so it could've been a steel type from the beginning.

Magnaton: It's Dugtrio all over again!

Farfetche'd: Was the apostrophe really necessary?

Doduo: "Cause you know two heads are better than one"

Dodrio: They're just a bird version of Cerberus.

Seel and Dewgong: And the award for the least creative pokemon names goes to...these losers!

Grimer: I heard this thing eats sewage.🤢

Muk: It has an unfortunate backwards name.

Shellder: Why is its tounge all ways out?

Cloyster: They knew what they were doing when they paired it with an onix.

Gastly: Our first ghost type was a ball of gas, really?

Hanter: There really isn't anything to roast with this pokemon.

Gengar: You look more like a scrapped grimace design than an actual ghost.(definitely getting death threats for that)

Onix: Pikachu winning against Brock's onix using water sprinklers was a total ass pull!

Drowzee: Mikey's favorite pokemon.

Hyno: They got a lemon for a nose.

Krabby: Mmmmm, crab legs.....

Kingler: If only that kingler curry wasn't exclusive to Japan.

Voltorb: The bomb pokemon.

Electrode: The laziest design.(tied with pawmo)

Exeggcute: Nothing cute about this pokemon.

Exeggutor: I know they're seeds, but how do egg looking seeds evolve into a palm tree!?

Cubone and Marowak: Why would you make a pokemon who's whole gimmick is having a dead mother, you monster!?

Hitmonlee: I have no mouth and I must scream!

Hitmonchan: It does look like it's wearing a dress.(and an ugly dress at that)

Lickitung: In Japan, this is the innuendo pokemon and not bellsprout.

Koffing and Weezing: It's been three years since the pandemic and I still don't think talking about them is tasteful.

Rhyhorn: Again, I'll take the bus.

Rhydon: The first ever pokemon.(created by the developers that is)

Chansey: Stop letting people eat your babies!

Tangela: The only pure grass type of gen one.

Kangaskhan: If the next region is based on Australia, then I hope we get a pokemon that actually looks like a kangaroo.

Horsea and Seadra: I can't roast seahorses.

Goldeen and Seaking: You're more of a collector's item than an actual pokemon.

Staryu and Starmie: Apparently, starfish come from outer space.

Mr.Mime: I read a dex entry about how it slaps people with its big hands and now all I can think of is that Will Smith meme but with Mr.Mime.

Syther: Or alakazam according to team rocket.

Jinx: Probably the most controversial pokemon in existence.

Electabuzz: Prepare to evolve into a very ugly pokemon in gen 4.

Magmar: They got a butt on their head.

Pinser: I can't get over their sideways mouth.

Tauros: Who put astrology into pokemon!?

Magikarp: Keeping using splash, and maybe we can win.

Gyarados: I think the only reason they're not dragon type is so they wouldn't be op.

Lapras: Can't roast perfection.

Ditto: The breeding slave pokemon.

Eevee: The best gimmick pokemon we've ever had.

Vaporeon: This pokemon has been forever ruined for me by a certain copypasta.

Jolteon: Raichu for dog lovers.

Flareon: Aka, Fluffier Eevee.

Porygon: I'm sorry that the pokemon company pinned all the blame on you instead of Pikachu.

Omantyte: This is your Lord? My Lord Lunala would destroy them.

Omastar: Again with the weird mouth.

Kabuto: The most forgettable gen one fossil.

Kabutops: One razor leaf, and you're dead.(again)

Areodactyl: Kid me would be over the moon if she knew there was a pterodactyl pokemon.

Snorlax: Oh look, a discord mod.

Articuno: One rock slide, and you're dead.

Zapdos: Those wings look like poorly cut paper.

Moltres: Who set their rubber chicken on fire!?

Dratini: You sure are teenie alright!

Dagonair: I just remembered that there's a type of lo mein called dragon noodles, while it was probably unintentional, I still thought that was a clever pun.

Dragonite: How can I roast something that's so friend shaped?

Mew and Mewtwo: Why does Mewtwo come before Mew in the pokedex even though Mew came first?

I'm actually gonna do Paldea next , so I can get to the good roasts before Sylveon.

[happybirthdaysuun]

𝐹𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓈;

: ̗̀➛ 𝓥𝓲𝓬; The second year that I get to wish you happy birthday, and I couldn't be happier about it. Every day I talk to whatever is willing to hear me and express the gratitude for your presence in my life to whatever threw you my way. You are my best friend, you own a good chunk of my heart, I love you to death and beyond it. I am convinced that regardless of what comes after this life we will still find our way back to this because truth been told the universe needs two little cunts that gossip all day and who else better than you and I do that? No one.

You are such a wonderful person, and it hurts to see how you fail to see it every so often. You are beautiful inside and out, your brain is the most fascinating thing that I've ever had the privilege to take a look at (not that I have physically seen it, shut up). I pray to god to let me live another day, so I can be present on the day that you start your own cult because that's what you're headed towards, and you know what? I respect it. I genuinely can't wait for time to pass and for me to watch you grow and become your full potential. I still can't believe we've made it through all those ups and downs, ghosting phases (which are mostly my fault), Mark and his little tantrums and whatever the fuck the universe has decided to throw our way. I will never be able to thank you enough for everything you've done for me, you are a big part of the reason why I still push every day with a hopeful heart. I don't know where I would be without you, and I never want to find out. Happy birthday saint. I love you, even though I refuse to admit it and tell you to go end it all at any given chance during our calls. We've got a lifetime ahead of us waiting for our ugly karaoke nights, stupid conversations and most importantly, drunk crying on the phone (on my side and you recording it because you think it's peak entertainment to humiliate me like that) I really hope your day goes well, and you enjoy your birthday or else I will have to step up.

Love, your amazing, beautiful father, Vic.

: ̗̀➛ 𝓜𝓲𝓬𝓴; i could write so much but somehow, it couldn’t possibly come close to being enough. if there’s one thing this universe did right for sure, was allowing our cosmic journeys to cross paths. i know that now, you know me best and i can’t thank you enough for accepting me as i am, for sticking around and being the most wonderful friend. but more than that, you’re an unique human with the most generous soul and a huge heart. my lovely bug, you keep me grounded and i will keep you fly ! your light shines across this universe.

: ̗̀➛ 𝓔𝓵𝓲𝓪𝓷𝓪; happy birthday, old man!! let’s count all your grey hairs together. kidding (kind of) i hope your day is filled with so much happiness and love, you deserve so so much. i hope you know just how much you mean to everyone in your life. i’m so happy we found each other again cause you have always been one of my favorite people (today is the only day i will admit that) thank you for not only being my friend and making me laugh when i need it but also being my therapist cause god knows i do not know how to make the right decision when it comes to anything. you are so special to so many and your weird facts are always appreciated. have the best day, big head.

: ̗̀➛ 𝓡𝓸𝓼𝓮; Dearest Saint,

We have met in a very random way — thanks to Mick (!) — and I couldn’t be happier about it. You were a little box of (good) surprises and, until today, you still blew my mind with your knowledge. You are one of the most chaotic people I’ve met and you’re fucking amazing and so cool.

Even though you can be annoying sometimes (seriously, those sounds you make on Spaces drive me insane), I am glad I have you in my life, motherfucker. x

I’ll be always here for you. I love you. 🤍

: ̗̀➛ 𝓨𝓿𝓮𝓼; SAINTY! Happy birthday to my favourite movie buff, the one who is brutally honest and keeps me grounded. I’ve known you for almost 4 years, isn’t it crazy how I decided to stick around with your annoying ass? Kidding. Happy birthday to you, my love. Thank you for everything you do. For always being the shoulder for me to rant to, for letting me be myself completely around you. And for never feeding my ego, if anyone’s kept me grounded and honest, its you. Even if you hit on my father all the time, I think I can tolerate you for a few more years. I love you more than you could ever know, and I’m so grateful to know. And even more so, that we always end up finding eachother. And sticking together. We’ve had our moments, but all friendships do. It just shows how strong we are, even if you want to bite my head off half the time. Thank you for everything. I love you. With everything in me. I’ve got your cake waiting, and some balloons. Happiest of birthdays to you, darling one. Love; your favourite, after Jagger of course.

[nagipops]

KONOHA ELEVEN IN A ZOOM CLASS!

FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, hinata, kiba, shino, neji, rock lee, and tenten

WARNINGS: mentions of food

NARUTO

definitely has forgotten that he was unmuted multiple times

or his camera was accidentally turned on

you could just see him sprawled on his bed with a bowl of instant ramen on his lap and a blanket wrapped around himself

EARRAPE SLURPS!! rip headphone users.

sometimes he notices that his camera’s turned on and you can see him freak out and scramble to turn it off

but he accidentally unmutes himself too and so you just hear panicked yelling

his device topples to the floor with a loud crash and he screams so loud istg

the next thing you see is naruto’s face hovering over the camera in fear just before his camera turns off and he’s muted again

the teacher is so confused?? naruto should i call an ambulance

but when he’s not eating in class, he’s sleeping in class

too busy sleeping to leave the zoom at the end of class so he’s always the last one left in the meeting besides the teacher

always asks sakura what happened during the zoom and she is FED UP

SAKURA

enters the waiting room 15 minutes before class is actually supposed to begin

spends the next 15 minutes rearranging her work area, making sure she’s prepared for the day

sits properly at her desk with her hair smoothed down and her face positioned perfectly in frame

if no one else has their camera on, she’s the only one with it on

seriously, she ALWAYS HAS IT ON

and she never leaves the screen somehow

diligently takes notes, uses the “raise hand” feature every two minutes to ask a question

sometimes it can get a bit annoying, even for the teacher

but she almost always gets perfect marks

acts like in angel in class, but after class... no promises, naruto!

SHIKAMARU

this man can barely stay awake during missions, so during a zoom? HECK NAH

shikamaru is literally me,, half asleep during lessons but somehow gets amazing grades

everyone’s either pissed at or envious of him (especially naruto)

obviously does not have his camera on

and rarely ever unmutes

uses the chat feature to answer the teacher’s questions but this man is basically asleep so its so incoherent

“shikamaru, what is a hyperbole?”

in chat: “a hyeprbole is a exsaggerayed phras,e”

teacher definitely thinks he’s cheating on tests

INO

either a) daydreaming about boys or b) checking herself out in the zoom camera OR c) secretly fuming at sakura’s know-it-all behavior

the two girls definitely compete to see who can raise their virtual hand first

"ahem, ahem- sensei? could i answer this question?"

her voice gets all sickly sweet and sakura HATES IT

the two of them totally got caught insulting each other in the private chat

100% the type of student to rewrite her notes after classes with various markers and colored pens and pretty fonts and patterns and whatnot

loves doodling flowers in her notebook during boring lessons!

CHOJI

another strong contender for the Loudest Student award!

not on purpose though, he just forgets that space bar = unmute, and plays some jumping game in another tab (like the no internet dino game!)

also,, rip headphone users

c r o n c h munch munch munch

are you kidding this man's chews are loud enough in person, but with a HEADSET?! hoo boy.

has conked out several times during class

just imagine the name Choji Akimichi with a profile picture of a bag of chips light up with the green box around it with a thunk

the teacher and class is so confused

but then you hear mumbles of "barbeque... chips... barbeque..."

and you realize that the man fell asleep onto his keyboard

he sleeps through the rest of class

HINATA

shy bb has never ONCE turned on her camera

the only time she's ever unmuted was to say "here" during attendance on the first day of school

if the teacher ever takes attendance again, she just uses the raise hand feature

what if naruto-kun thinks my voice is ugly? what if i accidentally turn on my camera? what if the teacher thinks i'm not paying attention? what if-

poor baby is too busy worrying about showing herself on zoom to actually pay attention

actually gets good grades though and her classmates wonder if she’s even there

her zoom pfp is definitely just a purple google “H”

KIBA

has the CUTEST zoom pfp hands down

it’s a selfie of him grinning cheerily with baby akamaru

100% has his camera on the whole time to show off his pup

he loves seeing everyone’s faces on screen melt and aww at the lil big doggo

sometimes akamaru just walks in front of the camera and blocks kiba from view and you just see a massive wall of white fur on screen LMAO

even though kiba’s muted, you can see him and akamaru bickering about who knows what

or even play fighting,, these two get into full on BRAWLS during class

just imagine akamaru shoves kiba into his desk and his camera crashes to the ground overturned so you see the ceiling and the occasional dog tail wagging in the corner

seriously, can the teacher ever catch a break with this class?

the answer is no.

SHINO

his zoom pfp is just a tick.

a singular tick

totally answers questions in chat with proper capitalization and punctuation

shikamaru’s improper answers tick him off

“A hyperbole is an expression that is greatly exaggerated. They are used in order to create emphasis.”

has never unmuted in his life either

he’s so unfazed by everything that goes down in class that it’s funny

if anything the slightest bit RELATED to bugs comes up during class, in 0.00238 seconds this man has an entire essay about them posted in chat, almost like he had it copied and READY to paste

everyone's definitely shocked that there’s actually a human listening behind a tick profile picture

NEJI

a very diligent note taker

seriously, this man writes like a printer; perfectly even handwriting that looks like a font, a million words per minute

everyone asks him for his notes after the zoom because they’re so neat (especially naruto, to neji’s dismay)

he gets excellent grades since he’s so organized and focused

just wishes the zoom would be over so he can work alone in peace

really hates unmuting so he often gives one-word answers in the chat

“Yes” “47” “Present” “Goodbye”

has used a zoom reaction ONCE in his life and he has never wanted to crawl into a hole and perish more

it was a complete accident,, mans was just trying to open the chat to type in his answer, but in a cruel twist of fate he clicked on the 😂 reaction

and he just sat there for ten excruciating seconds in complete and utter shock and shame for ten excruciating seconds as he prayed for it to disappear

tenten would never let him live that down

ROCK LEE

Zoom Reaction Enthusiast

😂😮👍🎉❤️ 24/7

naruto accidentally unmutes himself? 😮

choji falls asleep on his keyboard? 😂

neji answers something correctly? 👍

tenten received the highest score in class? 🎉

akamaru appears on screen? ❤️

unmutes whenever he needs to, but he thinks the little emoticons are so silly and cute

otherwise, he is EXTRA FOCUSED and EXTREMELY DETERMINED to learn all of the things

he’s the first to unmute whenever the teacher asks if the class can see the screen share, hear them correctly, etc.

never takes his eyes off the screen!! he could be missing out on important information

I FEEL LIKE,, i feel like he would totally keep his camera off when he’s muted but whenever he unmutes he would also turn his camera on

so when he says a quick “yes!” his camera turns on but before his camera can adjust properly to the light he mutes and turns his camera back off so his face is just super dark for a split second LMAOOO

tell me im wrong

TENTEN

exasperated by this entire class

thinks her and neji are the only sane ones in the class and it’s true

wants to tell sakura and ino to stop competing and just focus on learning, since they’re the only other girls in the class besides hinata

plus she’s just fed up with all the lazy boys

takes great pride in passing every assignment, test, or exam with flying colors

teachers pet, but the quieter type who stays after every zoom and sends lots of emails regarding assignments and grades and whatnot (unlike sakura and ino who rub it in the teacher’s face)

doesn’t like helping other people besides neji, girl’s got a soft spot for him since they have a mutual respect for each other

but if you’re a handsome prince, maybe she’ll help you out!

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

[squirrel-fund]

Here's my fic for Gallavich Spring Cleaning 2022 @gallavichthings @gallavichfanficlibrary

Summary: Mickey gets volunteered at Franny's school.

Prompts used: The Big Easter Egg Hunt & “No. Hell, no. Absolutely not.”

Read on Ao3 or below the cut 🐰🐣

Mickey sits at his kitchen table, in his West Side apartment, sipping a beer while he listens to his niece who is 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 enthusiastically telling him about the upcoming Easter egg hunt at her school.

"And Harper's Mommy is bringing juice boxes 'n Emma's Daddy's are bringing cupcakes-" She takes a bite of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich that Ian had made her, swallows, then continues, "and Mommy bought candy for the eggs."

"That sounds cool, Fran!" Ian says as he opens the fridge, joining the conversation and taking a bottle of water out for himself. "When is it?"

"Friday! It almost got cancelled though because Noah's Daddy can't make it but I saved the day!" She grins wide like she's proud as hell and just a little bit smug.

Mickey laughs at that. "Oh, yeah? Whadja do, kid?"

"They asked if anyone knew someone small enough to wear the bunny suit and I volunteered you, Uncle Mickey! It's sooo cute and fluffy!"

As soon as the words leave her mouth, Mickey chokes on his beer as Ian slaps him on the back laughing.

Mickey shakes his head, face red from both embarrassment and his beverage having gone down the wrong way. "No. 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭, no. Absolutely not."

And well, a few years ago he would have knocked the shit out of 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 who called him small or cute or... fucking... 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘺. But the kid frowns like her entire world has come crashing down around her and damn it, Mickey feels guilty. 

So, he rubs both his hands over his face and breathes out a sigh. "Sounds... great, Fran. I'll be there."

She rushes around the table and launches her tiny body at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Really?!"

Ian side eyes him. "Yeah, really?"

Mickey hugs her and rolls his eyes at his husband who now looks like a giant fucking puppy with pleading eyes. "Yeah... really."

~♡~

Chicago in April was never what one would call 'hot' but today, as Mickey sits outside while wearing this ugly ass Easter Bunny suit, it's fucking sweltering. Even the Snickers bars that he had taken as 'Uncle tax' were now liquid chocolate swirled with nougat and peanuts swishing around in their brown plastic wrappers.

It was becoming unbearable and Mickey wonders how much longer this torture is going to last when Franny's teacher announces that the egg hunt will start in ten minutes and that the lucky kid who finds the most eggs will win a gift card to Amazon. 

The tiny humans shriek over this information and Mickey sighs as he sits down on a bench under a shade tree.

"Mr. Milkovich!" The teacher, Mrs. Who-the-fuck-cares, jogs over to him and smiles. "No time for rest! We need you to help hide the eggs and then there's the photoshoot-"

"Photoshoot? For what?!"

"The kids sit on your lap and tell you a 'Springtime Secret'. Then they get their picture taken with you."

Mickey laughs because, honestly, that has to be a fucking joke but when the teacher frowns at him he realizes that he has just become some weird bunny secret keeper and he nods while mumbling that he can't wait.

She hands him a bucket of plastic eggs and he wanders around the area, hiding them in both really obvious places and some a bit more sneaky. He even manages to trade out his melted Snickers bars for fresh ones when no one is looking.

Ian shows up just as Mickey hides the last two eggs - one on the bench he had been sitting on earlier and the other inside the school mailbox.

"You look adorable." Ian says as he makes his way across the parking lot to hug his husband. Mickey makes a jerk off motion because they agreed the middle finger wasn't allowed.

"Don't think that's allowed either, Bugs."

Mickey glares at him but obviously the stupid bunny smile and wide eyes hide it.

"This suit is fucking hot as balls, man. Give me a break."

Ian chuckles at that. "Take the head off."

Mickey shakes his head, exaggerated so Ian will see it. "Can't. We'd hate to ruin the 'illusion of fun.'" He adds air quotes so Ian knows those aren't his words or thoughts. Like he'd ever think they were to begin with.

"Are you almost done? I thought we could go get a late lunch."

"I fucking wish. Apparently I have to listen to stupid secrets from the lollipop guild before I get parole."

Ian rolls his eyes. "You're so dramatic." Then kisses him on his fluffy bunny cheek. "I love it."

Some ankle biter sees them and begins to heckle them. "Ew, gross! You kissed the Easter Bunny!"

Ian, never bothered by kids and their dumb words, just grins. "Why is that gross?"

"He's hairy!"

And well, that's fair.

But Mickey just steps in front of Ian and points his thumb back at him. "This guy loves my jelly beans, kid. Can't get enough."

The teacher goes bright red at that before clapping her hands together and announcing for everyone to grab their baskets and start hunting for eggs.

And the kids are fucking savages. Running to the nearest plastic egg and practically roundhouse kicking each other to grab it first. There's apparently an unspoken rule that if you touch it first, it's yours. A rule that Franny has decided is unbreakable as some kid grabs a green egg just one millisecond behind her. She yanks it from the other kid's hand and places it safely into her basket. 

Mickey watches the kid's eyes well up and he stiffens as someone who he assumes is the kid's mom marches over to Franny and the crybaby.

"Franny! That wasn't nice!"

The redhead just shrugs and says, "I know but it's ok. I got the egg anyway."

The PTA mom is speechless at that and Mickey has never felt so proud of anyone in his entire life that wasn't his sister or Ian.

"No. I mean what 𝘺𝘰𝘶 did, Miss Gallagher. Shouldn't you say something to Ashley?"

Franny raises her eyebrow, matching the one on Mickey's face, hidden from view by his stupid fucking costume.

"Like what?" 

The mom is clearly irritated and she has the nerve to scoff at a six-year-old. "Say, you're sorry."

Franny shakes her head and stands her ground. "Why? I got here first."

And Mickey isn't going to let this continue so, bunny suit or not, he walks over and joins in on the conversation.

"There a problem here?"

"Yes. There is. Franny stole an egg from Ashley." The woman smiles at Mickey. "Maybe the Easter Bunny could talk to her?"

Mickey puts his hands on his hips and looks down at Franny who is extremely confused. "Well, what do you say, kid?"

Without missing a beat, she crosses her arms and gives the other kid an exasperated sigh. "I'm sorry that you were slower than me."

The woman, a fucking 𝘢𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘵, grabs Franny by the arm and pulls her towards the school. "Maybe a time-out will do you some good, young lady."

"Hey!" Mickey grabs Franny's arm to stop the lady. "I don't fucking think so, bitch."

And well, that's a problem, right?

The Easter Bunny can't just go around calling PTA moms bitches, can he? 

According to the court of Mrs. What's-her-name, the answer is a resounding no and that's how Mickey finds himself in time-out with Franny. 

But truthfully, he's glad. The classroom they've been sequestered in has air conditioning and snacks. Mickey takes the bunny head off along with the gloves and sits in a tiny chair across from his also, very tiny partner in crime.

He nudges her foot with his. "Hey. We showed her, huh?"

"I won't win that gift card now." Franny frowns and plays with the candy necklace around her neck.

Mickey can't help but huff out a laugh as he grabs two cupcakes that look like little bunny butts. God, how his life has changed. He sets one in front of his niece before taking a bite of his own. "Don't sweat it, Fran. We'll get Uncle Ian's debit card and buy whatever you want."

Instead of making her happy like he thought it would, she looks sad and her bottom lip starts to tremble, tears imminent. "What's with the water works?"

"I wanted to win so I could buy something... for you."

Mickey freezes, mid bite and furrows his brow. "Why?"

She sniffles and looks right at him. "Mommy says you were there for Uncle Ian when he needed it most. That you make him happy and well," She shrugs and unwraps the paper from the bottom of her cupcake, "that makes 𝘮𝘦 happy."

And damn. Kids are too fucking honest, aren't they?

"Can I tell you my Springtime Secret now?"

Mickey just nods because a lump is now forming in his throat. Franny leans across the table and grins at him. "You're my favorite but don't tell Uncle Ian, k?"

He clears his throat and smirks. "You got it, kid." They tap their cupcakes together in a moment of solidarity. "You're my favorite too."

[syubub]

BTS cuddle habits

Hi guys! I wanted to have a fun little silly read on what their cuddle habits are! It's cute and light and soft so I thought it might be nice!

Disclaimer: this is entertainment only and not to be taken as fact. This is only my interpretation!

Oki let's begin

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Seokjin

The first thing I thought of when I saw this is that he's not a strong grip cuddle kinda guy

He's more of the "if you're there and need cuddles I'll do it I guess" kinda guy

I think too he's very vigilant and whomever he is cuddling he is very aware of how to maximize the other person's comfort?

Like it almost seems for him, he'd be fine without cuddles

It's just not important to him as much as it is for others

But he knows that some people feel good when they get cuddles

So

All this to say

He doesn't preticularly seek out cuddles and prefers to be the one doing the cuddling

He knows that it's a way to give others comfort

It's definitely a low energy kinda thing for him too

I think any kinda pseudo cuddle would be preferable

Like, "I'm laying next to you and tapping your head, does that count"

Lol

It's a way to show comfort and to show that he's there for the person.

Definitely takes that time to learn more about why the person might be sad or in need of cuddles

It's a perfect time to talk it out

Definitely platonic cuddles wouldn't faze him at all

10/10

Very comforting

He'd give advice if needed or prompted

Wouldn't particularly tangle himself up with the other person

More like comforting "I'm here for you" back rubs and taps

Playing with hair

Yoongi

STOP

Yoongi no

Okay

So

He's definitely more cuddly with his s.o than he his with friends

His cuddle style is very balanced

Probably likes to mirror his cuddle buddy

So like, facing each other

Probably holding hands

Also spooning and he'd be down for little spoon or big spoon depending on how he's feeling

Let me get a bit honest here

Cuddling for yoon is like holding the entire world

Sounds dramatic lol

It's a super intimate thing to share personal space like that

Even more than sex for him because the only objective is comfort and holding space for him and his person

Kinda. Intimacy in any form that it takes is really special and intense for him when it regards someone he truly cares for

This is about cuddles and not about how yoongi regards the act of bumping uglies

So

Platonic cuddles are a little less... wanted for him

Not that he hates it or anything. He just likes his space and would actively search for platonic cuddles often if every (if he knew a more physically affectionate person really needed to be held and comforted he wouldn't mind providing that but its just not something he typically looks for)

Because the thought of sharing such close personal space with someone is quite.. daunting? He feels a bit flustered

This is all heavily focused on yoongi preferring to have his cuddles with the people that he has the utmost respect for and trusts with his life

Definitely most comfortable with a romantic partner though

Definitely would love to have his hair played with and would reciprocate the favor

When things get rough in his head I think he would prefer to be held

Or like

I heard "held together"

Oof yoobi

Overall it's seems to be an act of trust and love and respect and anyone who gets a yoongi cuddle should feel honored

You guys

Just look at this cards

I CANT

Hoseok

Yo

Hobi Is definitely an enthusiastic cuddle buddy

Probs prefers to hold the other person

Definitely loves platonic cuddles all the way

Very much physical affection

Also very light and fun and giggly

Like, yoons is a more emotionally heavy feel

But hobis is so light and fun and recharging

It's not the destination

Like its not an event to have cuddles for him

It's almost as natural and fluid as just going in for a hug?

It's a continuation of a hug

Hobi snuggles more than cuddles?

Like any burst of affection he just goes in for a snuggle squeeze

I think as a human his body temperature is just always warm too

Versatile cuddles

Kinda octopus-esque

Can be kinda like a quick little battery charge for him

A good solid hobi cuddle would be like transporting to a new world where there are no worries

Very nice and secure

Would probably like sunshine cuddles or outdoor cuddles (without bugs)

I think sometimes he just likes to share his space with other people

Very warm friendly lovely I love it

Namjoon

Joon

Joo

Bb

Soft

Talk about tension release lol

Cuddles for him aren't something he seeks out often but when he does...

It's like taking the cap off of a soda

Definitely a daydream type

Idk why but I think he cuddles himself? Like when he's super stressed

He probably hugs himself

Or maybe he has a weighted blanket?

He definitely has a calm way to sooth himself

But with other people

I think he likes more mellow, soft type cuddles

Definitely a repetitive movement type of person

Like gently tapping/patting or making shapes

I can't tell of he would like that or if that's what he does

Probably drifts to sleep if cuddling for a longer time lol

It's very seren and lovely energy tbh

A sleepy morning type of cuddle would probably help him calmly sort his thoughts and plans for the day

Just time to exist

Platonic cuddles y e s

Like I said, it wouldn't be something that I would see him searching for often at all

But its very helpful for him when he does

This makes me think of one time I went to a park with my friend

we found a nice patch of soft grass and had a nice little cuddle just existing in each others presence and feeling a nice soft breeze bring in the sweet summer smell

It was just kinda like time stopped and I could daydream and look at my priorities without feeling overwhelmed by them??

Like having a person physically with you to anchor you to reality and provide comfort

Idk it's just such a nice lovely type of thing that is really special when those moments come around

Jimin

Definitely loves cuddles

We know this

But this is really sweet

It's very emotionally fulfilling and I think it's an easy way for him to show his love and appreciation for someone

This sounds dumb but I think he physically tries to morph his body to other people?

Like cling film?

It's really cute?

Tbh any kinds of cuddle is a good cuddle for chim

I think physical touch just in general is really important for him

cuddles make him feel loved bc sometimes he needs to be reminded

Definitely will cuddle or be cuddled

With the 8 of wands I think he just kinda goes with the flow really

The ace of cups makes me almost see it as an exchange of energy?

Like swapping good vibes or recharging your good vibes

It's really sweet

I bet he'd be the type to make it a special event on occasion

Like all the blankets and pillows and a movie or book or album or something

And just be comfy

Comfy is the best way to describe this

Comfy

10000% platonic cuddles

No one is spared

(Some are spared)

It's not like he's attached to them or needs them to breath

But physical touch is really important for him

And this is very optimal

I also think he'd be the type to go for drive by cuddles?

The 8 of wands can be a fast card so

Quick cuddles

Little snuggles

V good

10/10

wouldn't mind face to face cuddles at all

THIS ALL JUST FEELS SO WARM AND NICE

like a freshly washed blanket that's all warm and smells nice

Yes

Taehyung

Jesus

It was hard enough trying to interpret normal cards and you throw me this shit??

Here we go

It's definitely a mental resting point to have some good cuddles

Tae can be quite a physical person too so it doesn't suprise me to see

It almost feels solitary?

But not physically obviously

Kinda like joon he really benefits from having a reality anchor

But

He might be physically resting

And his mind is resting too

But??

It's like he fucking Astral projects or some shit

Hear me out

It's like having a safe and comfortable environment being with someone you trust

He just kinda

Lifts up??

Like this might seem like daydreams to him but it's like... the Astral?

Lol definitely unexpected

It's not like this everytime

He benefits from cuddles when he is having a hard time and needs comfort

Also just because it's something that he finds relaxing

But like, let me explain

Death is like letting go of attachments

Four of swords can be like meditation

Wheel of fortune can be like opportunity or destiny?

And like, we all know tae has his angel and stuff

I think maybe his angel or guides or whatever take any opportunity where he is in a good enough state to just... yank him up to them??

THIS SOUNDS DUMB

But think about it

If he's comfortable and in a mental state where this is possible, it would be the perfect opportunity??

Like?

I want to expand on this later maybe

It doesn't exclusively happen when he's cuddling its just a time where his mind is open to it?

Also yes platonic cuddles yes yes yes

Wtf tae?

Jungkook

These are all the cards that came out and all of them are relevant apparently

So

Firstly let's look at that lovers card and the magician

He's definitely down for a good cuddle and it's a sign of trust for him

Having a nice restful time where he can idly chat with someone probably helps him work through situations in his head

The magician can signify a powerful man...

I think he really enjoys being held and like, holding people tightly

Like it feels more secure like that

Definitely a release of stress and worry

Probably prefers cuddles more in the evening after he's worked hard and done stuff bc then he feels like he's earned the right to relax

Definitely down for platonic cuddles but with people he knows super well

This might sound weird but

I bet if the chance to cuddle arrives and it's not a suprise like "hey come here and cuddle" kinda thing he'd prepare

Like if there was a movie night and he knows it's gonna be nice and comfy he'd probably wear his favorite hoodie or shirt or whatever and pjs or sweatpants or whatever

Whip out the nice body butter

Some good smells

Fresh fabric softener smells

In a 100% not creepy and very platonic way

That sounds sarcastic but its not

Its called self care

Would also be the type to seek out cuddles if he has a bad day

Like the kind to flop down beside someone or put his head in their lap and just non verbally demand cuddles?

Like, have you ever been super frustrated and you just need someone to pet your hair? Or like hold you bc your working out your own shit internally?

Yes

It probably doesn't happen often and not when something really big is bothering him

Just smaller things

Would like repetitive motions/soothing motions

The six of swords make me think soft rocking would put him directly to sleep lol

Kinda like cars too

Very nice very nice

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was intresting and I didn't really know what it would be like but I didn't think it would be this lol tae was unexpected

Who are you guys most like? I think I'm maybe part jungkook and part yoongi? I'm not the most touchy feely person with friends but I am a lot more with partners. Jungkookie style cuddles is me when I'm around people that I've know for forever and are really good friends. Pull out good blankets, clothes, candles ect. Anything for optimal comfort. Joon style cuddles definitely sound like the most relaxing thing in the planet and makes me a bit nostalgic

[bittydragon]

The Ant King

Note: Huge thanks to Bittydragon for inspiring me to write this. I’ll be honest, this is the first fic I've ever actually written, as well as the only piece of creative fiction I've written in like two years so… fingers crossed it goes well hahaha.

TW: tight spaces, darkness, uh,,, bugs i guess. Near death experience

  There are things you have to know about ants when you get an ant farm. Basic fundamentals. What to feed them, how to keep them alive, what type of ants you have, etcetera. Even if your intentions were… torturous. After all, you need to know what makes something tick in order to make it stop.

One of the more common facts about ants is that every colony has a queen. She orders her ants to keep her alive so she can make more ants. Simple biology, the continuation of a species. Every nest has a queen, or it dies.

Apparently, this colony didn’t get the memo.

These thoughts buzzed in grumpy circles around Wilbur's’ head as he followed his ant companion, Tommy, deeper into the ant-farm. They had been wandering these tunnels for what felt like days now, in the center of the farm so there were no glass barriers to show the outside world. They were deep too. Almost at the bottom of the compound. Wilbur was not one to show fear, but even he was beginning to get claustrophobic.

Tommy, who up until now had been jabbering like a toddler the whole trip through the ant-farm had also gone uncharacteristically silent. The whole trip Wilbur had wanted nothing more than a few seconds of quiet from him, but now he missed the carefree noise.

They were on their way to see the ant King. A type of ant that, as far as Wilbur knew, didn’t exist. So either they were on a wild goose chase, or Will was way out of his depth.

The further they went, the more he was convinced it was the latter.

“Tommy do you-” Wilbur paused, his echoing voice in the tunnel almost felt like a taboo. An affront to the maddening silence that stalked them. He lowered his voice.

“Do you think… Will I ever get back to normal? Will the ant king change me back?” He hated that little quiver in his voice. He hated the uncertainty. The waiting.

Tommy continued to march forward silently, pondering the question.

“I dunno big man, I think you’ve changed heaps since you got here.” He turned his head to flash Wilbur a grin “Then you’ll be out there and all nice n shit. It’ll be poggers.”

The tunnel was dark, but not dark enough to hide the flash of uncertainty in Tommy’s eyes.

Wilbur's heart sank. “Thanks mate.” He mumbled, and they trekked on, once more in silence.

  By the time they saw light, it felt like they had been walking for days. Wilbur was almost glad he was about to meet possibly one of the most powerful ants in this colony. They rounded one last bend, and they were there.

Before them stood a huge double door set in the wall. Two vines with some kind of glowing fruit framed the door, shedding light on the small space. In front of the door, leaning on a spear made from a twig was another ant with a pair of large white rimmed goggles. 

“Well… This is it I guess.” Wilbur muttered. He cleared his throat “Hey, um. I-i’m here to have an audience with the King? If that's alright.”

The guard ant didn’t respond, continuing to stare at them with no discernible expression.

“H-hello?” Wilbur glanced at Tommy, who shrugged.

“Excuse me? Anyone home?” Wilbur snapped his fingers in front of the ant's face.

He seemed to startle slightly, before slumping down a bit and letting out a loud snore.

“What the fuck” Tommy said.

Before anyone could do much of anything, one of the massive double doors creaked open and a voice came through.

“George, I swear if you fell asleep again, I'm going to rip off your antenna and use them as- oh.”

Another ant entered the room, this one also carried a twig-spear and had a strip of white cloth tied around his forehead.  As soon as his gaze landed on Wilbur, his expression soured.

If looks could kill… Wilbur thought nervously

“It’s you” The new ant spat “Took your sweet time getting here Soot. Earthquake slow you down? Didja get a taste of your own medicine from your big pals out there?”

Wilbur pursed his lips, and the ant snorted. “Yeah. Thought so.” He walked forward and gave George a hard shove, sending the other ant sprawling with a startled yelp.

“Sapnap what the hell?!” He snapped, before spotting Wilbur and Tommy. “Oh hey. That guy is here.”

“Yeah he’s here, idiot.” Sapnap smacked George over the head with his spear “And we would have known a lot sooner if you hadn't fallen asleep on duty again!”

“OW! Sapnap stop! Get off me!”

Wilbur cleared his throat, drawing their attention “Sorry to interrupt, but me and my friend have been walking for a long, long time, so could we please have an audience with the King?”

Subpoena glared “Yeah. He’s waiting for you. Against my advice, he wants to see you.”

Oh. That… didn’t sound great.

Wilbur tried not to think about the implications of that statement as he approached the double doors. Tommy moved to follow, but was stopped by the guards.

“Hey!” He groused “Let me through dickheads!”

“I'm afraid the King only wants an audience with the great and powerful Wilbur Soot” Sapnap said with a smirk.

“But I want to go too! Let me in! You stupid ugly bitch ill fight you! You may have a fancy stick but just wait until I pull out my knife-gun!”

“Tommy its fine.” Wilbur interrupted “I’ll be fine mate, promise. Just wait here. I wont leave without saying goodbye.”

The last thing he saw was Tommy’s antenna drooping sadly, before the doors swung closed behind him.

  If Wilbur thought the tunnel was dark before, that was nothing compared to the room he was in now. The darkness was so thick, so absolute, that it made no difference if his eyes were open or closed.

“Hello?” Wilbur called “Uh… your majesty? I was told that you wanted to see me.”

His voice echoed slightly in the huge space, but there was no reply.

Wait. What was that? Something rasped ever so slowly across the opposite wall. Something big. As it moved, the moss where it had been standing glowed a dull green.

Bio-luminescence Wilbur reasoned. Trying to distract himself from the fear creeping up his spine. Touch activated, it seems.

He swallowed dryly “L-look, just tell me what you want. I’m not here to cause trouble”

The thing moved again, its raspy scuttle reverberated through the chamber.

“Wilbur Soot, not here to cause any trouble” A thoughtful voice hummed from the dark “Now that’s a first.”

The bio-luminescent moss was lighting up more of the room. If he squinted, Wilbur could make out a... leg. Probably.

Wilbur inches slowly to the side, the moss lighting up his own path. “Okay, I get it, I've done morally questionable things in the past, but I've learned a lot from my time here. I’m sorry.”

“For now” The voice replied. The thing was moving on the other side, matching him step for step. “What's to say you aren't faking remorse to get out of here? And maybe you really are sorry. How can I be sure you wont change your mind the second you're back to normal? It's too much of a risk.”

Wilbur continued to back away nervously “Your majesty-”

“Please, call me Dream. Everyone else does.”

“Right… Dream. I can say with 100% certainty that won't happen. I've seen people die in front of me. That’s enough to change anyone's stance on something.”

“And yet I'm still not convinced.” It was moving faster now, scuttling across the floor, walls and even across the ceiling. Wilbur's head spun with the motion. “And since we’re talking in hypotheticals, riddle me this: Whoever said I was going to let you out anyway? What if I just like to play with my food?”

Dream stopped suddenly, rearing over Wilbur, and with all of the lit up moss, he got his first proper look.

This ant was huge. Twice- no, at least three times the size of Wilbur himself. He looked a bit like a centaur, with a human torso connected to a pure white and thorax and abdomen.He also wore a strange white mask with a blank eyed smiley face drawn on.

Two huge claw arms- similar to those of a praying mantis- extended from Dreams waist and slammed into the dirt either side of Wilbur, startling him enough that he fell onto his ass. The king leaned forward with that lifeless grin, and Will closed his eyes, preparing for the end.

“But…” Dream said thoughtfully “A proper experiment should account and test for all variables, shouldn't it?”

“Y-yeah generally” Wilbur stuttered

“Oh good.” Dream hoisted him roughly to his feet. “I’m glad I asked you. After all, you know all about experiments, don’t you?”

Wilbur chose not to answer, glowering at Dream as the eyes on his mask briefly glowed a dull green.

A moment later, Sapnap and George marched in, dragging a cussing and struggling Tommy behind them.

“YOU STUPID MOTHEFUCKERS!!! Let me go or ill get married in rage!! Fuck you and-! Oh. wow that is a big fella.” Tommy stopped and stared in awe at Dream

“Sapnap, give Wilbur your spear.” Dream ordered.

A flicker of doubt crossed Sapnaps face but he obediently shoved the spear into Wilbur's hands.

“I’ll make you a deal, Wilbur Soot.” Dream purred, circling him. “I will let you go to your old life. You can do whatever you like; kill us, torment us, throw us away… it doesn't matter. All you have to do is kill one ant.” He gestured to Tommy.

“What?” Wilbur whispered.

“WHAT?!” Tommy roared “fuck you! I'm not your dumb-ass pawn, I'm going to kill you! Rrrrrrrrrrr!” he writhed, attempting to bite George who did a surprisingly good job of holding him still.

“Go on.” Dream cooed “It's just one insignificant ant standing between you and freedom. You've killed hundreds. What's one more?”

Spear in hand, Wilbur took a hesitant step forward.

Tommy's gaze snapped up “Wilby?” He asked, his struggling pausing for a moment.

Their eyes met, fear clashing with sorrow. Tommy seemed to see something in Wilbur's expression and hung his head in defeat. As if he had expected Wilbur to betray him.

Oh hell no. Fuck that. Wilbur angrily tossed the spear aside.

“No. I won't.”

“What?” Dream spat

Wilbur rounded on him “No! I won't kill him! Keep me here, kill me, hunt me for sport, whatever! Just leave him out of this! Tommy has been nothing but nice to me since I met him, even though it don't deserve it!” He rubbed his arm. “God knows I don't deserve it.”

“Hmm…” Dream hummed “Are you sure, even if it costs you your life?” One of Dream's massive claw arms grazed his side, a subtle threat.

Wilbur looked over at Tommy, who had a look of hope on his face.

“Yeah.” Will smiled, “I'm sure.”

I probably could have written more, but i wont. I hope you like this fic bitty! Thanks for reading :)

Edit: Fortune, this is amazing! Like, I hadn't really thought about this encounter in a lot of detail, but I honestly like this a lot! And Dream being a big boy since he's the king ant. Just yes. Thank you so much for this.

[pascalpanic]

He is My Home (Din Djarin x f!Reader)

Summary: Din’s going to have a nasty scar from the wound on his side, just like the ones you have, the ones you’re insecure about.

W/C: 2.3k

Warnings: light mentions of blood and injuries. mentions of birth. scars (none are explicitly from SH) are mentioned.

A/N: Fluffy Din can I get a hell yeah?? @binarydanvvers sent me this request and it’s absolutely precious so I’m really happy I got to write it. I hope y’all will love it too!!

Din Djarin’s body is defined by his scars, even if few or no other living beings have seen them.

The very first scar on Din’s body came from his birth. Vha Djarin’s baby came out happy and healthy, but an apprentice midwife with an unsteady hand nicked the child’s skin with her blade as she severed the umbilical cord. That’s where the small white line above his belly button comes from.

The other scars include various missions, combat as a young adult, some nearly mortal wounds. There’s a scar across the bridge of his nose from some mission where he was fighting for your little green son’s life. There’s a long line along his forearm from a slice due to an opponent’s blade, on the underside, where the beskar didn’t protect him.

Everything about Din is beautiful to you. Even his name is so beautiful to say- Din Djarin. It sounds like poetry in his mother tongue’s accent. You’ve married him, become his riduur. You see his face daily, the face he was so scared to show you.

Din had feared you’d find him ugly. That you’d think him unlovable, that his nose was too big and eyes too deep-set, his entire body and even his soul too scarred. It wasn’t until after your wedding, when you removed his helmet and cried in joy, that his fears were cast away. You pressed your forehead to his and cupped his face and genuinely told him that you couldn’t imagine a more beautiful man, a more handsome and wonderful Mandalorian behind that beskar.

That night was spent exploring each other’s bodies now that you had total and complete access to Din’s body. It wasn’t entirely sexual, though much of it was; you just felt his abs and his arms and his warm skin beneath yours, and he did the same to you.

Your life has been perfect for the past few months as Din’s riduur. You get to see his face every day, kiss the scar on the bridge of his beautiful nose. You have the privilege of rolling over in bed and seeing his sleeping face, his brow furrowed even in his sleep. You get to see his little green son squeal in excitement when he gets to see his daddy’s face, the way the three small green fingers of each hand grab at one stubbly cheek.

Din is equally as happy. Being with you allows him to be a human again; it allows him to be Din, not Mando. Your warm arms around him in the middle of the night stall the nightmares of the siege of his hometown and the kills he committed and the way the pile of Mando helmets looked in the corner of the covert.

Of course, practicality dictates Din still must work. As a bounty hunter’s riduur, your options are really either to be a bounty hunter too, or a stay at home buir to your little green son. As you have next to no fighting skills, you stuck with the role that introduced you to your husband in the first place: interplanetary nanny to your bug-eyed baby boy.

You enjoyed the pretend domesticity, but you also appreciated the charm of the fact that home is literally where you make it with the Razor Crest: on any planet, moon, or space station. Your home travels with you, your home is wherever the Crest is tonight.

Even before you found the Crest, Din has been your home. He’s your place and your person, ever since the first time someone threatened you and Din shot them dead where they stood and you stared for a second in utter terror they’d jerk back to life before running into his arms and burying your head in the skin between his helmet and his cape. And that’s when you realized that Din’s arms were your safe place, the one place nothing can hurt you. Not when Din is protecting you.

Tonight more than ever, you miss Din’s arms. He took a honeymoon phase of one or two bounties a month after your riduurok, to spend time with you and the child and your newly formed, legally Mandalorian family. Your aliit, your clan. All good things must come to an end, though, and Din was back into his hunting. It’s been a week without him. Your beskar ring feels cold on your finger tonight as you trace your hand over the etched mudhorn in the wedding band.

Your green baby is cuddled to your chest, snoozing happily with his mama. You press a kiss to his head, thinking about Din. The child’s father. The little creature radiates warmth and relaxation and hypnotically urges you to fall asleep alongside him. Rest, mama. And you do.

-

The next morning, you startle awake at the sound of beskar clanging against the metal of the ship. “Riduur?” You call out, sitting up excitedly.

“Hi,” he says weakly, and the tone sets panic into your body. You jump out of the bed to find Din kneeling next to the carbonite, a freshly sealed and still sublimating creature trapped in it.

Din clutches his side and you sink to your knees frantically. His orange gloves are covered with blood as one reaches to you. “Din,” you panic, unsure what to do for a moment. “I’m going to go get the medkit. You start undressing now, beskar off, clothes off,” you order him and get to your feet. You pull out a cot and pop it open. “Lay here and wait for me.”

You fly into a tizzy around the ship, grabbing the various things you need. Bacta, needles, bandages, the official medkit. Good. You return to his side, where he lies in his boxers and helmet. “Baby,” you coo gently and remove the helmet. “Just me, remember?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles, dazed eyes looking up at you. His dark hair is drenched in his sweat, and there’s a trickle of blood from his lip.

You fly into action. “Bacta’s going in first, love. Going to jab it in, get ready.” He softly nods and makes a whimper as you stab the needle in, pushing down the plunger and emptying the syringe into his body.

He’s numb now. You wipe the wound and grab the cauterizer. “You might feel this, Din. It’s gonna be quick, I promise.” He doesn’t even respond, eyes shut. You use it and he twitches, his face cringing in pain.

“I know, I know. Doing so good, almost- there we go,” you sigh as the wound is finished cauterizing. “You did wonderfully, my warrior. Providing for us no matter the cost,” you tell him and press a soft kiss to his forehead.

You press a large gauze patch and bandage over his wound, to ensure it stays clean. “Okay, okay baby. You can sleep now. Did so good for me, my strong man,” you mumble, cupping his face.

“You did all the work,” he mutters, a soft smile on his face. The medication wipes him out into a deep sleep.

-

Bacta isn’t a miracle drug. It can’t save you from certain death, can’t reverse the growth of diseases that have already infiltrated. The miracle, really, behind Bacta, is how quickly it works. It heals wounds that would take weeks in days, and days in hours.

When Din wakes later, the cauterized wound has shrunken exponentially. He’s still got lots of bruises and nicks, but he’s better. There’s a familiar hum, the soft roar of hyperspace surrounding the Crest.

He sits up with minimal pain and looks around. There’s a soft light coming from the bunk, where you and the baby sleep. The light is for the child. He’s scared of too much dark; you’d learned that especially in the days where the hull would be coated in blackness in order for you and Din to kiss and touch and love. Your face is peaceful as you sleep, and Din looks at you with all of the love in his heart.

He stands, albeit slowly, and walks to the bunk with a jerking and awkward stance. He just wants you, your softness and warmth. It’s common that he’ll sneak into bed with you after a mission or piloting the ship, or simply because you took a nap and he just needed some sweetness in his day. You instinctually nuzzle into him, attracted to his warmth. The child follows suit, nestling between the two of you. His two favorite people in all of the galaxy, his buirs.

The three of you are at peace, in your home: with each other. You roll over as you notice the warm presence and a small smile graces your slowly waking face. “Mm, riduur. You were supposed to be on the cot,” you chuckle softly and press a kiss to the tip of his nose.

“Bacta fixed me up enough.”

“You’re gonna have a nasty scar,” you chuckle softly.

“I’ve got plenty of those already. What’s one more?” He asks, nudging your face with his nose.

It’s unbearably soft and warm. “Scars seem to be our problem,” you nod in agreement.

He pulls away and looks at you, in the soft blue glow of the baby’s nightlight. “Cyare, scars aren’t a problem. They’re reminders, of everything we’ve been through and will prevail through in the future.” He kisses your collarbone softly, setting your child aside.

You frown. “Doesn’t mean I like them. They’re gross.”

Din’s frown matches yours. It’s a warm night in the Crest, leaving you sleeping in just a breastband and a pair of shorts. He can see the scars littering your abdomen, the ones you’re so insecure about. “Tell me about them.”

“Din,” you pout.

“We are one when together, we are one when parted,” he mumbles, scooting down to press a kiss to one scar. Your wedding vows, the ones you took and meant with all of your soul. “Your pain is mine, my love. Tell me about this one,” he says, a featherlight fingertip tracing the line.

You sigh, making your abdomen inflate and deflate deeply beneath him. “I was 11 cycles old when I got that one. My appendix ruptured, they had to remove it.”

He nods and kisses along the scar, big brown eyes looking up at you. “I see. And this one?” He asks.

You chuckle softly. “This is from when I was stupid enough to sleep in just a breastband and shorts, like this, and I rolled over on green bean and his claw stabbed me.”

Din recalls. He chuckles happily at the memory and presses a kiss to the scar, his fingers still tracing the last one. There’s one on your knuckles. He takes your hand and traces it, looking at you. Silently asking.

“Lothcat bite. They’re not as cute and docile as they look,” you nod as Din’s lips ghost over your fingers.

You think about the places you got those childhood scars. All at home. The newer one? From your newer home. Yes, your old home may have scarred you, most certainly physically and maybe mentally or emotionally, but they left their mark on you. Your eyes water as you look down at Din. “Your turn,” you tell him and push him down into the mattress of the bunk.

There’s been one you’ve always meant to ask him about. You straddle his hips and sit between his groin and his navel. “What is this one?” You ask of a little mark above his navel. It’s a stark white, contrasting his skin.

“My birth. A midwife nicked me while severing the umbilical cord. I’ve heard that my mother was ready to take the surgical tools herself and go after her,” he chuckles.

You smile softly. There’s a scar on his cheek and your fingertips slowly draw the outline of it. He nods. “As a teen, obviously. Before the helmets went on. Close call with a spear,” he admits, a soft smile on his face. “Those are the only fun ones. The rest are from bounties,” he admits.

You chuckle softly. “Fun ones?” You tease.

“Interesting, I suppose,” he admits, taking your fingertips from his scar to rest them on his lips, kissing them then just holding your hand. “Do you see, my love?” He asks.

You simply nod, eyes watering again. Din reaches up and wraps you in his arms, lowering you to lie chest to chest on top of him. “You are so beautiful, my love. My riduur,” he mumbles to you. You sigh contentedly and kiss the scar on the bridge of his nose.

“Easy for you to say. You’re a bounty hunter. These all suit you. Besides the fact that you’re already covered head to toe in beskar, it would just work.”

He frowns. “Cyar’ika. Neither I nor anyone else cares about your scars. They’re part of you; how could I?”

You whimper and bury your head in his neck, allowing yourself to cry. “It’s been a hard day, Din. Please let me have this.”

“I will not. I absolutely refuse to let you think like that,” he tells you and cradles your head. “You can cry all you’d like, riduur, but it won’t change the fact that I find the scars absolutely beautiful. They’re so perfectly you. They’ve made you who you are, the woman I love so dearly. How could they be ugly when they’re made of you?”

His words make you cry harder, and you sob into his bare skin. He strokes your back, allowing you to cry it out. He mumbles sweet words in your ear; just letting it happen.

When you’re finished, you lift your head with a sniffle. “I love you so much, Din. You make me feel like I have a home with you.”

He kisses your forehead softly. “This is your home, my love. Right hear, in my arms, wrapped up with me.”

-

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @softly-sad @blo0dangel @luxurybeskar @binarydanvvers @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl

[remmushound]

Maybe have the Rise guys find out about Raph's bug phobia and traumas and 2012 Leo actually acts like ghe big brother he is after Rise Raph givez him some advice. Or is that too much for you?

@brightlotusmoon

“Hey Raph~”

Raph turned around to see what Mikey wanted and almost jumped out of his shell when he saw the cockroach perched on the freckled brother’s finger.

“I think someone looooves you~”

“Get that thing out of here, Mikey!” Raph swatted blindly, trying to hit the cockroach out of Mikey’s hand without actually touching the creature.

Mikey laughed and easily dodged. “Ooo! It’s coming to get youuu~”

“Cut it out Mikey!” Raph was near tears out of rage while Mikey just kept bringing the creature closer to his face.

“Oooo~ kissy kissy kissy!”

Mikey almost brought the cockroach to touch Raph’s cheek, but before the contact could be made, the box turtle felt strong hands grab him around his shell and lift him away from the cowering strength of the team. Mikey craned his head up and beamed when he saw the snapper Raphael looking down at him with concerned eyes.

“Hi dude!” Mikey laughed, “Wanna help me make this bug kiss Raph? He’s super scared of them!”

Raphael frowned. He looked from Mikey down to the upset Raph wiping his eyes, then quickly carried Mikey a short distance away before setting him down gently. Raphael took the cockroach from Mikey’s hands and cupped it in his own while Mikey watched him curiously.

“This isn’t a toy, little Mike— this is a creature. You don’t play with anything living like it’s a toy, alright?”

Mikey didn't respond. He simple watched as Raphael took the roach a safe distance away from his smaller self and sat the bug on a high pipe so it could skitter away. He returned to Mikey, tweaking the concerned turtles nose to urge a smile and giggle out of him.

“You’re not in any trouble little man.” Raphael smiled and pet Mikey’s head once the box turtle had cheered up, “But it’s not nice to tease your brother like that either.”

“But we always play with Raph like that…”

Raphael hummed. “Are you scared of anything, little dude? Probably not, huh? You’re big and brave aren’t you?”

Raphael put his hand under Mikey’s chin to make the turtle look at him.

“Ha! I am brave! But… I am kinda scared of squirrelanoids.”

Raphael tilted his head. “Tell me about them.”

“They’re these weird, mutant squirrel things that jump into your mouth and have a baby in your stomach!”

Raphael flinched at the thought of it. “Well! That is nasty! No wonder you’re so afraid of them. I’d be terrified and I’m twice your size! Now… say one of your brothers somehow got a hold of one of them and, when you weren’t expecting it, suddenly shoved one in your face?”

Mikey flinched and covered his face at the thought. “That’s super scary, dude! I’d be like, so scared and stuff!”

“And you would have every right to be.” Raphael nodded, “Here— come here a second.”

Raphael wrapped an arm around Mikey’s shell and pulled him forward, pointing over at Raph.

“Now, don’t you think he feels like that every time you shove a cockroach in his face? Don’t you think he’d be just as scared as you would be if it were a squirrlanoid?”

Mikey looked away and rubbed his arm.

“Hey, that’s okay little buddy.” Raphael gave him a final pat before urging him toward Raph. “Here, why don’t you go apologize to him, then? I’m sure he’d appreciate it.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“Don’t worry, I ain’t going nowhere far. Just gonna have a talk with your big brother is all.”

~~~

“Hey!” Raphael called to Leo with a wide smile and wave.

Leo opened one eye from his meditation. “Oh. Hello.”

“Mind if I sit?”

Leo made a welcoming motion to invite Raphael to sit beside him. Raphael obliged. Leo closed his eyes once more, but opened them again when he felt Raphael staring at him. He looked up at the comically large mutant and didn't give any indication of an emotion other than sheer disinterest.

“I’m guessing you wanna talk about something?”

“That would be great.” Raphael wagged his tail and slouched to try and look less threatening to the little mutant.

Leo said nothing in response. Raphael took the silence as his opening to talk and, after giving it a few more seconds to make sure the other wasn’t simply thinking about a response, he finally spoke up.

“I uh. Saw your Mikey with a cockroach earlier.”

“Lotta those in the sewer.” Leo answered calmly.

“Yes, well uh… he was uh. Teasing your Raph with it. Chasing him around and scaring him with it. Guess your Raph has a kinda phobia or something?”

Leo didn't respond. At first, Raphael only cleared his throat, but when the silence became too much, he spoke again.

“Well uh, anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I had a talk with him about it and he won’t be doing it again—“

“What do you mean?”

Raphael has Leo’s full attention now and intended to take advantage of it. He slouched a little more so that he was as level to Leo as he could comfortably get.

“I sat him down and had a little chat with him about why that wasn’t nice, and I had him apologize to your Raph for antagonizing him.”

“He… listened to you?” Baby blue eyes went wide and Leo gave a soft hum of surprise.

“Yeah. Just had to you know, get down on his level, give him an example he could relate to, and tell him why it was wrong. He did really good with it.”

“Well, thank you.” Leo gave a nervous laugh, “I can’t believe he actually listened…”

“Wanna come have a look?” Raphael smiled excitedly.

“Oh uh. Sure.”

Raphael was to his feet first and offered a hand to help Leo stand, which Leo happily accepted.

“You know, you don’t have to slouch when you talk to me.” Leo said as they walked, “I’m not scared of you.”

“Oh—no, I didn't do it cause—it’s more just force of habit for me. You know, I want people to be comfortable around me, and it can be kinda difficult with this ugly mug.” He motioned to his features

Leo laughed. “Tell me about it. I’ve more than my fair share of humans run from me. Can’t imagine it’d be much easier with someone your size.”

“It’s not, really…” Raphael rubbed his neck, “I haven’t had much experience with humans, but a lot of creatures just take one look at me and think I’m mean and scary…”

Raphael looked down as a gentle hand was laid on his shell in condolence. “I’m sorry— I admit I was one of them. I’m just so used to my Raph that the idea of a bigger Raph…”

“It was just a little hard to imagine me being anything other than mean?” Raphael offered.

“Yeah, exactly. But you’re pretty cool, and from what I’ve seen you’re a good leader.” Leo smirked devilishly and gave Raphael a gentle punch, “But you’re no Leo.”

They came into the living room and Raphael beamed when he saw Raph and Mikey, pointing out the scene to Leo. The brothers were sitting close enough to where their arms touched, both engaged in a video game together and laughing, chatting incoherently and shouting at random intervals when their character or controls did something stupid. Raphael and Leo just sat there watching them for the longest time, Leo smiling just as much as Raphael at the sight of his brothers getting along.

[maxwell-grant]

Any thoughts on Sandman Mystery Theatre and Wesley Doods?

I'll probably write more in-depth about Wesley in particular once I'm more acquainted with his history, because I've discovered recently there is much, much more to the JSA's characters than I had initially presumed, and some pretty massive bits of Wes's own history that I can't overlook in a more in-depth post. But regarding Sandman Mystery Theatre, I gotta talk about my history with it specifically.

I picked up the first volume of Sandman Mystery Theatre by complete accident when I was very young. At the time I was specifically looking for Sandman comics because I wanted to do a school project on Neil Gaiman's Sandman, which I knew very little about, and so I picked up at a store Endless Nights and a comic called Sandman Mystery Theatre that, as you can see in the cropped image above, had his name on the cover, so I figured it had to be in the same series (which it kinda is but not really).

While there's older stuff that's tied up in my appreciation of them, this was my first encounter with Pulp Heroes, even when I didn't know what they were, before I discovered The Shadow for real. Ground Zero, as we call it. And it all starts specifically with this page:

The comic had already started off completely unlike anything I'd picked up before from Marvel and DC. It was an urban story with no superheroes or cartoons in sight, instead there were all these regular, wrinkled middle-aged people with warts and sweaters and pudgy noses at the center of it, people that you don't find in superhero stories where the imperfections of humanity are ever shaved off. It was more akin to what I had only experienced through film, but in a comic, and at the time, that was new to me.

And when it was time for the story's big reveal of it's hero, the big wide shot reserved for a Superman power stance or Batman hunched in the rain, it was with this scene: A weird little creep in a trenchcoat and fedora, with a gas mask barely concealing his startled eyes, shocked by the intrusion of the light that ever so blesses The Superhero Moment, squatting in a dirty bathroom with a hand stretched out menacingly towards the horrified woman, stretching towards you, stretching past the panel borders that should lock this ugly little thing in it's place.

I still think of this image as one of the main signifiers as to what I think sets superheroes and pulp heroes apart. Because at the time, this was a revelation. This costume was a revelation in general.

I was never going to find Spider-Man or Wolverine like this, even their dirtier and less dignified moments were still mired in some form of glory. Even in Spider-Man's lowest points he's still expect to rise above them dramatically or at least suffer them dramatically, when Wolverine prowls in the sewers he does so gleaming with power and ferocity and ripped shirts and immortality. And of course, I was never going to look like, or be like, Spider-Man or Wolverine no matter how hard I worked at it.

But this guy? This is a shitty little bug man caught with it's pants down somewhere it was not supposed to be, as terrified of being caught as we would be to find it prowling around. Painfully humanized, despite it's best efforts. He's dressed in a drab suit with a dorky tie, a disheveled coat, and a gas mask and hat. But the thing about “coolness” is that often the best way to make something genuinely cool is to try to make it uncool to begin with. There's nothing super about this guy, but there's something effortlessly cool about him nonetheless, something that doesn't require a bodybuilder's physique or a model's face, something unlike a superhero but just as cool visually if not more so. Anyone could look like this guy.

I could look like this guy.

And not just visually, the other thing that hooked me into Mystery Theatre was it's characterization. Much like the art, it was different than what I was used to from other comics I read. It dealt with it's drama differently, it's deaths had weight and so did the character's reactions to them. It had gangsters and torturers and serial killers and pedophiles and crooked police officers and none of them were going to get chopped to bits by Wolverine or tied up in streetlights by Batman anytime soon. It didn't have supervillains, it had a mother and son as masked murderers and torturers hiding in plain sight even while mutilating their own families. It had grueling torture scenes and it's female protagonist forcing herself to stare at the mutilated corpse of her best friend just so she can spare her family the pain of doing so. 

Diane Belmont is great and, again, I had never seen a comic book with this kind of story with a female protagonist so strongly at the forefront of it, and with all these other characters getting their side stories in. It was not about the guy in a costume being the center of everything awesome to happen, because there was hardly anything of the sort happening. "Understated" is the key word here for what made Sandman Mystery Theatre special to me at the time.

Wesley Dodds himself is a schlubby, quiet guy in glasses with a pudgy nose and a round face who makes origami and writes poems, who only really has his gun and mask and wits to tackle problems he is not even particularly well-equipped to handle, but goes out there and does anyway. He moves around quietly but still has to escape desperate situations by the skin of his teeth. He doesn't interrogate people in costume by dangling them off rooftops, he threatens to poison their dog if they don't tell him what he needs to know. He sets up little traps with cans and wire to let him know if a cop is approaching his investigation, and he doesn't take down the Tarantula at the end without assistance nor does he linger around to receive any credit for it.

He is not at all an action hero, nothing about this guy even really indicates he's cut out for this life, but he's determined and compelled and tormented by nightmares that don't allow him to refuse the call, so he makes it happen, and throught that, he makes enough of a difference to shift the scales of life and death to those that cannot rely on others to protect them. Those that can't rely on police or family or superheroes to save them. That's when the eerie little nobody in a fedora and gas mask comes in, inadequate as he may be, still desperately trying to do the right thing.

While I did read some of his Golden Age adventures for context's sake, I don't know much of anything about Wesley's other adventures outside of Mystery Theatre or his costumed superhero phase or history with the JSA and DCU and whatnot, and frankly that stuff is so far removed from my enjoyment of Mystery Theatre that it might as well just be a different character (although I will be checking out out of curiosity).

So yes, Mystery Theatre is great, I sing the praises of Matt Wagner often enough and I definitely should look into the rest of Guy Davis's work, but the main thing about it to me is that it was my first contact with pulp in any of it's forms. Sandman was my first Pulp Hero. If nothing else I'll always appreciate the character for that.

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ LOWER DECKS / 2.02 + 2.03 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

“I’m so zonked.”

“The red alerts from that wormhole kept my up half the night.”

“Looks like we’ll all be showering together.”

“I’m sort of the unofficial leader.”

“He has issues with communal nudity.”

“Those who spend their lives and fortunes gathering scientific rarities from around the galaxy call themselves collectors.”

“Allow me to offer my deepest condolences for the loss of your friend.”

“His collection pales in comparison to mine.”

“I don’t know what kind of dangerous items he might have been hoarding.”

“This is the last thing I need right now.”

“We’re basically clearing out a dead dude’s storage locker.”

“A mission’s only as important as you make it.”

“You sound uptighter than [name].”

“I bet he’s living the dream.”

“What’d you do, stop to debate the human rights of a robot?”

“We got a lot to do, you might want to focus.”

“You might want to loosen up.”

“I told you to keep your hands to yourself.”

“This is what I get for involving them.”

“For us to make it out of here, we’re gonna have to travel into the belly of the beast.”

“We don’t need to be heroes today.”

“We just need to survive.”

“I love me an undercover op.”

“Are you suggesting that I micromanage?”

“Since when do I micromanage?”

“That’s how I got on top, that’s how I’m staying on top.”

“Remind me again how this was the safer option?”

“There’s unknowns to any plan.”

“Maybe you’ve got a death wish, but you can’t ask them to follow you there.”

“You’re just using them to prop yourself up.”

“You want everyone to see you as this big, brave hero.”

“What are they gonna do, suck us to death?”

“I have dad issues.”

“We can’t leave anything up to chance.”

“You’re just desperate to be seen as some kind of renegade hero.”

“I can’t say this is how I pictured going out, but there’s no one else I’d rather be with.”

“He’ll be back to normal in an hour.”

“It just seemed like a [name] thing to happen.”

“Can you hurry it up?”

“I can’t believe she got promoted over me.”

“It doesn’t bug you that he’s back from the dead?”

“Solving impossible problems is what I do.”

“I could carry you across the threshold like a bride.”

“I don’t need you or anyone else to babysit me.”

“I’ll go poke around back there and see what I can find.”

“It’s neat that after spending all this time together, you can still learn something about a friend.”

“I wonder why she’s so wound up about this.”

“I can’t believe you’re touching it.”

“She’s going to know I violated her trust.”

“How the heck did you come back to life?”

“We just need to find the biggest, dumbest guys in here.”

“I’m beginning to school your ugly ass.”

“That is such a messed up thing to say.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. It was just a mistake.”

“They’d kill you on the spot.”

“You got to warn me if we’re gonna be meeting up with a sexy bad boy.”

“I’m always dating bad boys, bad girls, bad nonbinary babes.”

“I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you date anyone.”

“You’ll do what I tell you to do, you dumb-face jerk.”

“I know you, like you should know me.”

“You’ve been in tougher spots than this.”

“We’re sparing you dark truths about scientific depravity that would haunt you for the rest of your life.”

“Once you know, you can never go back to being the man you were before.”

“I keep my life vague on purpose.”

“It’s better to keep it surface level and never have friends, instead of always losing them.”

“I was hoping this trip would be a way for us to bond, but it’s just been a big mess.”

“I’m always so busy making everyone else happy that I never open up.”

“Maybe they’re just sparing us from knowing horrible things that happen to good people.”

[magpiie]

Kidnapped by Baby Yoda pt. 3

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

hey guys pls lmk what you think and be honest!!! thank you so much for 80 notes holy fucking shit wowie 

It's weird one day you're assisting teaching a class to a bunch of miscellaneous alien children on nevarro hating your life, and the next you're stuck on a ship with a mandalorian and his foundling who inexplicably decided he needed you to come.

“I'm going to talk to him today kid, believe me” you said to the lump of wool perched on your knee. Mando was out doing maker knows what, and you were left alone with the little guy like always. His big eyes gazed at you dubiously as if to say suuuuure. The amount of judgmental bitchy energy he could produce sometimes was astounding. “No really, i've been living here for what, uh 3 weeks maybe? And all we've really said to each other was the initial greeting and uh the exchange of names?” The last part trails off as you realize you don't even know his name. You said yours but he responded with telling you to call him Mando. So you didn't push it. You dont know alot about mandalorians considering they are almost extinct and their beliefs are often made to seem like folklore. But you do know that individualism and identity is not something particularly celebrated. So you decided to leave the amount of information he wants to share with you up to him out of respect. So far that's been none. “So, kid, how'd you break through his shell? He likes you?” the child just blinks unhelpfully. “I mean you never talk to him, but i've tried that and we saw how that went” literally radio silence from him. You don't particularly think of yourself as an extrovert who constantly needs interaction but you do need some. And currently you have the kid as a companion and if you didn't know any better you'd say Mando was a droid with how he acts. You also resolved that you needed to help out more. Basically you were a glorified babysitter and the idea that Mando was going to realize that he was better off without you on his ship as deadweight terrified you. You were a good cook, I guess you could say, but Mando always brought food back with him when he went out and then would hide in his room to eat in privacy. So that's not very helpful. The main thing that you could offer him was medical help. Back on Nevarro growing up you were the youngest of three older brothers. And considering your mother wasnt really in the picture, you had to take up the doctor role for the amount of fights three older boys could get into. You knew how to treat basically any external damage and how to sterilize and limit risk of infection. But how would you ever bring that up to mando if you guys didn't even greet each other in the mornings? Sometimes you would try to talk to him with something as simple as “good morning!” or “welcome back” or “night” or even just a simple “hey” sometimes he would bless you with a monosyllabic grunt but never anything more. But hey, you would take what you would get. After a week of this call and no response bullshit you kinda gave up and have spent the last two weeks in silence other than your episode this morning with the “good morning” fiasco. You feel your mortification settle back into your stomach at the fool you made of yourself. “Maker above, mando must hate me.” sometimes you wondered if he regretted asking you to come. But he doesn't really seem like the type of person to let you stay if you annoyed him. “Ok bug, here's the plan. What im gonna do is i will say hey when he comes back, sound good?” you look for confirmation from the creature and he gives you a slight tilt of his chin. Satisfied you continue, “and i will uhm say good night and good morning every day until he responds or tells me to shut up.” you finish with a huff of breath. This will either end with you finally finally getting to have real human interaction or left on some random ass planet god knows where.     

Mando makes his way back to ship feeling the pebbles crunch beneath the heavy sole of his boot. This planet was a desert planet much like nevarro, he wondered if you missed home. Mean no shit she's probably homesick dumbass he thinks its not like he was doing anything to make the ship feel welcoming. Like talking to you. But you made the ship feel like a home for the kid and that's more than he could ever want. You probably didn't realize how much what you were doing meant to him. You made the kid happy, you were giving him something that mando never could, a mother figure. Mando tried his hardest to be what he thought was a father for the kid but it was hard. He had to go and work and it wasn't safe to bring a kid so he was often swept around to different planets and left for hours by himself waiting for mando to come back and it was hard on mando. But you, now you were there. And the kid was always safe with you. He should probably teach you some self defense he thought considering how dangerous being associated with him was especially considering you needed to protect the child. But honestly, mando had no idea if you knew how to protect yourself, you might, space is a dangerous world. He only knew that you were a teacher but that was it. Slightly alarming that he implicitly trusted you without any prior knowledge of you or your credentials. You could be a bounty hunter assigned to kill him for all he knew, or to steal the kid, but you probably would have done that by now. Mando didn't know what made you trustworthy to him. You just were. And that terrified him. 

You're sitting in the cockpit with the child pretending to fly the ship as he gurgles happily in your lap. you giggle at the little guy and make finger guns and pretend to shoot an imaginary monster outside the window, “i'm the most fearsome bounty hunter in the guild,” the child lets out a particularly loud noise at that, “uhhh yes i am dont laugh at me, i am feared far and wide across the galaxy,” you tickle his sides with that one. youre so into playing with the kid you don't realize mando was back and is staring at you from the entryway to the cockpit. “You think i could take on your daddy, bug? You think it'd beat him in a shootout? Huh?” you say with your fingers poised and ready at the window.

“Not a chance,” says a deep voice that vibrates into the floor. You let out an embarrassing startled shriek and feel your heart do twenty somersaults and settle in your feet. The child screams at the interruption and immediately wiggles out of your grasp and waddles to Mando giddily. 

“I-i i was uh joking, really i was,” you stutter out cringing at the incredulous tone your voice comes out as. Remembering your resolve to talk to him you continue on even though you feel like you might throw up your breakfast from nerves. “He misses you during the day,” gesturing to the child, “so i pretend to be you” you finish realizing that sounds super fucking creepy, “well not like- you- like- you,  but i pretend to like uh pilot the ship and uh shoot um things?” you ramble lamely. A huff sounds from the mandalorian and if you allowed yourself to think wishfully it was laughter. 

“Doesn't surprise me. Before you he came everywhere with me.” you feel your eyebrows raise. Everywhere? Shit. 

“Must've been difficult to complete jobs and have to keep track of him,” you say nodding your head towards the little lump of brown wool. Mando offers you an affirmative grunt before setting the child down and turning on his heel towards the fresher. So that was an improvement, you think. Got ten whole words out of him. You feel a grin split your face. Hopefully this means you are past the dancing around each other relationship. And maker above, his voice, wow. If only you could wake up to that every morning. Deep and melodic. You wonder how deep and gravelly it sounds in the mornings. Or how your name would sound tumbling off his lips in pleasure. Nope. not going down that path. That is NOT platonic thoughts. You literally had your first conversation with him since the first day you met him and you're already thinking about that? Seriously pull yourself together. You don't even know what he looks like, or how old he is. Like what if he's like 70. And really ugly. What if your having sex dreams about someone like your grandpa. Ew. Your face contorts at the thought of Mando looking like your grandpa. Okay gross stop. You need to get to know him. Have civil conversations. Push down the gross thoughts. Even if his voice sounds like honey. And home. 

You're sitting in the chair behind the pilot seat reading a random book Mando left out on the scattered floor. Its some type of mechanical manual so its truly riveting. Note the sarcasm. The child's asleep, and seeing as though mando is cooped up in his room this book is better than twiddling your thumbs mindlessly. You decided that if you were going to stay on mandos ship you should at least try to pick up some mechanic skills. Better than the rudimentary at best you had at the present moment. You knew how to fix blatant errors in engines and how to reconnect wires if the instructions were explained thoroughly and very slowly. Okay maybe you didn't really know anything past engines. But that was better than nothing? Kinda? You sigh closing the book after rereading the same sentences about pre-imperial versus post-imperial hyperdrives. Maker what was the difference? The both made the ship go super fast or something? Was that the hyperdrive? You shook your head feeling the thought start to culminate into a downward spiral of what a hyperdrive truly was. You looked around the cluttered hull and decided that you should probably occupy yourself by cleaning up the mess. Mando might appreciate it, it'll also make you less of a deadweight on the ship. It was crazy how much shit one man and his child could accumulate on one tiny ship. You don't think you had ever seen this many small metal bowls in one place. The stack currently in the corner probably contained about 12. In what universe would 2 creatures ever need the same bowls 12 times. Well you guess now it's three. The thought filled your chest with a balloon of warmth only to be popped by the realization that you weren't part of the little family mando and the child were. At best you were a business associate. The kids stand in caregiver. Babysitter.

 The realization that you didn't have anyone to call family at your disposal fell heavy on your shoulders. Sinking you into the corner of the hull. You dont think youve ever felt more alone. In the cold corner of the hull with a hand pressed to your chest in an attempt to quell your ragged breaths.  Like a small raft cast into the oceanic expanse of space. If you drowned, who would notice? Certainly not your family, they were maker knows where, probably light years away. You didn't even know what sector you were in anymore. What would your father think of your decision to leave nevarro? You hadn't seen him in a while but you remembered the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. And how he would hug you after a long day. Hold you like you were still his little girl. The craving for a warm embrace from a solid body slammed into you with all the force of a meteor. Leaving you stunned and lost. You briefly wondered how mando coped. How did he deal with the overwhelming feeling of loneliness?  How did he leave his guild? Did he miss them? Were they like a family? Did he think about them often? How did he cope with the lack of touch? Or did he not think about it at all? Did he not need it? Was he so disconnected from the world through his beskar that he couldn't remember the feeling of someone's fingers on his skin? Etching a path with the searing heat they exuded. Hearing approaching footsteps you attempt to pull yourself together. Regulate your breathing, get rid of tear tracks and lose the flush coloring your face. You could do this. As he rounded the corner he stopped. You peered up at him from your curled up position on the floor and offered him a smile that felt unconvincing even on your lips. He tilted his head slightly at you and made his way cautiously to where you were. He bent slightly and offered a brown leather clad hand to you. For a second the only sound heard was the faint crackle of his breathing in his helmet. You could see him faltering. Here he was offering you comfort in your clearly distressed state and you were pointedly ignoring it. You laced your fingers with his and nearly doubled over from the strength he exuded into pulling you up. As soon as you were fairly steady on your feet you marveled at your hand shocked by the warmth creeping through the leather of the glove permeating into your palm. He sighed, a deep release of tension from his shoulders followed. “What's wrong?” he said, his hand still lazily grasping your fingers. You looked at him, what was wrong?

“How do you do it?” you said echoing his words from your first meeting to him. his thumb dragged a slow line along your wrist. When he didn't respond you added, “how are you okay with being alone?” if you could see his face you would say he looked taken aback. He released your hand.

“I'm not.” he offered. Confused as to which question he was answering you remained silent hoping to prompt him to continue. He started again, “I'm not alone, not truly. I have him.” he gestured vaguely to his sleeping quarters where the kid slept. He rubbed the back of his neck, 

“And neither are you.”

[wormstacheangel]

Angels Look Good With Wings

Someone wanted Cas with dumb plastic wings so I wrote Cas with dumb plastic wings. Enjoy. For @heccin-artist :) (I’m sure your art will be so much better lol)

--

Cas walked out of their bedroom as he rolled his eyes. Ignoring his boyfriend calling out to him because...well to put it simply, he was an idiot.

“Dean, I am not wearing those and if you ask me again I will shove-”

“Oh come on, Cas! I know they’re not your cool big angel wings but they will do.” Dean jumped in front of Cas to shove the plastic blue and white butterfly wings at him once again. It even came with a dumb glittery wand that Cas would use to smack his boyfriend upside the head if he didn’t drop it. 

“No.” Cas said firmly as he let out an exasperated sigh. “Just because they were the last thing in the store doesn’t mean I’m wearing it.”

“Why?”

“Cause it’s humiliating for one.” He shoves past Dean and walks into the library to wait for Sam and Jack to come join them before they head out to the costume part Jody and Donna were throwing. 

“Oh come on, babe!” Dean follows him with a more teasing tone than before. “You’ll look so cute.”

“I’ll just go dressed the way I am and that’s that.”

“And what are you supposed to be? A boring business man?”

“An accountant apparently.”

“Oh, I stand corrected, Mr. Accountant.” Dean mocked as he dropped the wings on one of the tables. Shrugging as he tried to act nonchalant but Cas knew he was already up to something. “I just figured you’ll want to - you know - match with your son.”

“Dean,” Cas cocked his head just a little as he glared down at his idiot human. “What did you tell Jack?”

He shrugs again. “I may have told him you guys were wearing matching costumes and he may have, maybe, got really excited about it.”

“Dean, I swear I’ll-”

“Jack!” Cas couldn’t finish his threat as Dean called out to their son and Cas had to bite his tongue as he turned around to face Jack. “Looking great, buddy!”

Jack was wearing black jeans and a white shirt with his red jacket over top. Then a pair of ladybug wings, too small for his big frame, poked out just enough for Cas to see. Most importantly Cas noticed his bright excited smile as he walked towards them to show off his last minute costume. 

“Sam drew black freckles on my face!” He stated as he was close enough for them to see it. “The antennas itch a little but it’s fine. Sam said I was Fracis.”

“Bug’s Life.” Dean nudges Cas as if he wouldn’t be aware when Jack has made them all sit through all the old Disney movies. “Well I think you look good, kid! But I got some bad news,” Jack frowns at that and Cas’s heart aches when he sees his kid’s shoulders hunch. “You’re Dad doesn’t-”

“I don’t know how to wear my wings!” Cas quickly interrupted Dean as he walked over to pick up the dumb things, cursing his boyfriend in his head the whole time. “Maybe you can come and help me.”

Cas then somehow ended up at Jody’s front door wearing a pair of blue and white butterfly wings. His daughter snickering as she greets him with a hug, poking at his dumb wings, before saying, “Cute wings, Cas. When did you lose all your will to live?”

“A long time ago.” Cas sighs as she pats his shoulder trying to comfort him. “You haven’t seen Dean yet?”

“No, why what is he wearing?” 

Just then Dean walks in with his arms full of grocery bags and a big pout. Looking dashing in a striped black and yellow sweater. Ugly looking thing honestly but it was warm and Cas liked wearing it around the bunker, even though he doesn’t get cold he did like to feel cozy in his home. He was also rocking handmade antennas and a pair of black kid wings. 

“Why are you guys like this?” Claire asked in a distraught tone but Cas couldn’t hold back his grin. 

Kaia and Jack took Claire then to take some pictures so Cas walked over to Dean who was starting the grill up.

“Hello, my little busy bee.” Cas wrapped his arm around Dean’s waist, flatting his wings with his chest but cozying his face into his boyfriend's neck. 

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.” Cas smiles as pepper’s Dean’s neck and shoulder with kisses. “You look cute.”

“Shut up.” He turns around in Cas’s arms and brings their lips together, smiling through the kiss. “You look cute too.”

“Shut up.”

Dean chuckled against his lips and Cas spends the rest of the night making dumb bee puns at his boyfriend. Loving every second of it.

--

Tag List: @galaxycastiel