#a crystal tear ~ Lucrecia

[altocat]

Lucrecia ask for Mother’s Day :)

AU where Lucrecia leaves her crystal before Nibelheim, but doing so exacts a heavy mental/psychological/physical toll—she’s even more frail health-wise than she was before, now mostly amnesiac, only vaguely remembering flashes of her previous life/trauma and finding it very difficult to communicate with people. She only has flashes of memories and a strong feeling that she must find her baby. reunion Most people would probably avoid her or think she’s insane. If she eventually makes her way to Midgar, would Sephiroth manage to run into her, and if so, how would he feel/react? (at this point I assume he does think his mother is dead)

Sephiroth immediately drops everything because he remembers the woman in the picture. He would remember that face as well as his own. And even that makes sense because the woman he sees a before him is nearly a perfect copy of himself. He makes an immediate beeline towards her and curses Hojo over and over again, eyes slick, tears feverish. For once, he doesn't care about reputation. There's THIS and only THIS. Only her. And he would sooner die than let her go again.

[crisiscutie]

The various stages of Sephiroth:

https://lynlynlora-tumblr-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/lynlynlora.tumblr.com/post/67244694518/lovelessinred-let-me-love-you/amp

Should I be sad he lose the ponytail and the red turtleneck 🥲?

-🌹

(art in question)

The ponytail is a good look on him, I'm sad that he loses it too. And, OMG, he looks so much like Lucrecia with it 😊😊😊

I like to imagine that he wears one just like that in the domestic AU...

Now this made me write a drabble where the Crisis Cutie and his darling go on a rare, actual vacation and happen to come across Lucrecia's cave...

Take this as a belated Mother's Day contribution, featuring Fluffy Seph.

Word Count: 463

Pairing: C.C Sephiroth (Pre Nibelheim)/Pregnant Darling (Domestic AU)

Guest Star: Lucrecia Cresent.

Lucrecia detected his presence, even from afar. She tried to ignore the calls of her Jenova cells, but as he rapidly approached, the urge to reunite became overwhelming, compelling her to come out of her crystal prison.

Sephiroth himself felt a strange, powerful tugging at his body, as if his mind was being taken over by a familiar yet different force. His darling's inquiries became a distant hum as he followed his instincts and approached the crystal cave, ready to attend the reunion he never expected.

Lucrecia's stomach knotted as he came closer, her mind knowing all too well who it was that was approaching. And it seems he brought some familial individuals to this unexpected reunion.

But when they finally saw each other, the recognition was instant, as if they were looking into a mirror. But instead of the expected sight of a mother, or a son, all they could see was themselves as time froze in place. Lucrecia saw a taller, silver-haired version of herself, with a strength and assurance that's supernatural and beyond anything seen on Gaia. He was ready to protect himself and his loved ones from harm, like a guardian angel. And he had tenfold dedication that she ever had for her loved ones.

For Sephiroth, he saw a slightly shorter, brown-haired version of himself, bringing a peculiar yet strange warmth to his heart. Her lovely brown eyes, spellbound him. She expressed herself so freely, unlike him. Her vulnerability. Her anxiety. Her regret. But he also sensed her admiration and unconditional love for him. She's what he could have been, if he had been born normal like the other children.

Sephiroth moved closer to Lucrecia, his hand instinctively reaching out towards hers, pulled by the powerful attraction that existed between them. He wore a sad expression on his face as his lips turned downwards. Lucrecia briefly looked away from him as he approached, but her attention was quickly drawn back to his hand and the piercing, mako-infused stare of his eyes.

And with that holding gaze, the bond between mother and son was finally recognized. Sephiroth had finally believed it. There she stood, his mother, and the grandmother of his daughter and unborn triplets, in front of him. His sorrowful eyes glimmered with a faint hint of joy.

Lucrecia's eyes welled up with tears, betraying a mix of grief and joy. Her child stood before her, and so did the woman who held his unborn children. His free hand rested gently on her expecting belly, which compelled Lucrecia to finally take his other hand, completing the familial circle. The strenuous and stressful time pause finally lifted, commencing the start of this reunion...

mother. Alternate Title: Local Mother Is Compelled To Reconcile With Her Child.

Also, I like to think Lucrecia is a tall woman. She has to be, right? I might continue this. This concept fascinates me so much.

[umbral-stigmata-unbound]

TAG LIST

THESE ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE + FULL DISCLOSURE; I AM ALWAYS GETTING USED TO KEEPING UP WITH USING TAGS, SO IF THEY SEEM INCONSISTENT, I’M JUST SCATTER BRAINED.

Character Tags (work in progress)

-- FF7 Specific Tags (muses first)--

For Sephiroth content - #onewinged tragedy ~ Sephiroth

For Kadaj content - #silvershade-of-rage ~ Kadaj

For Vincent content - #CrimsonWings ~ Vincent

For Reno content - #number one red bastard ~ Reno

For Nero content - #unholy divinity ~ Nero

For Evan content - #self-made golden boy ~ Evan Townshend

For OC Aurelia content - #the golden tsviet ~ Aurelia

For Cloud content - #my beautiful warrior ~ Cloud

For Tifa content - #kiss with a fist ~ Tifa

For Aerith content - #goddess among men ~Aerith

For Red XIII/Nanaki content - #flame of the wild - Nanaki

For Rufus Shinra content - #shining gold shadow ~ Rufus

For Rude content - #number one shade bastard ~ Rude

For Tseng content - #the shadows hand ~ Tseng

For Yuffie content - #sneaky shiny ball collector ~ Yuffie

For Cid content - #redneck sonuva bitch ~ Cid

For Cait Sith/Reeve - #the heavy hearted puppeteer ~ Reeve

For Zack content - #angel among devils ~ Zack

For Genesis content - #onewinged loveless ~ Genesis

For Angeal content - #onewinged guilt ~ Angeal

For Deepground content - #the beasts below ~ Deepground

For Rosso content - #thriving in blood ~ Rosso

For Leslie content - #with a bite and a kiss ~ Leslie

(more to come as I gather ideas or need for specific tags for characters)

Ship Tags (work in progress)

-- My Ships --

-- Sephiroth Muse Ships

For Sefikura content - #hold me like I never did anything to hurt you ~ Sefikura

For SephZack/Zephiroth content - #to the end of the line ~ SephZack

For AeriSeph content - #tear through the divine to reach your sanctuary ~ AeriSeph

For GenSeph/Sephisis content - #the hand not taken ~ GenSeph

...

-- Reno Muse Ships

For Reti content - #I’ll give up everything just to find you ~ Reti

For CloudReno content - #even crossroads lead back to you ~ Cleno

For RuNo/Rude and Reno content - #just me and you partner ~ RuNo

For Rufus/Reno content - #give my all for your precious embrace ~ RufusReno

For Tseng/Reno content - #it began again with you ~ TsengReno

For Reno/Sephiroth content - #take my hand and watch the world fall ~ RenoSephiroth

...

-- Vincent Muse Ships

For Vincent and Lucrecia/Crescentine (I actually don’t have a big muse for this ship but with the right partner, maybe and well...he kinda needs to have a tag for this romantic experience so lol) - #my crystal heart ~ Crescentine

For Strifentine content - #embrace me in your silent absolution ~ Strifentine

For ValenStrifesodos/Cloud + Vincent + Genesis content - #heaven and hell brought me to you ~ ValenStrifeSodos

For Vincent/Veld content - #the secrets when it was just me and you ~ VincentVeld

For Vincent/Reeve content - #we’ll see the new day tomorrow together ~ VincentReeve

...

-- Kadaj Muse Ships

(more for relationships than romantic ships)

For Kadaj/Cloud content - #you hold me and I am home ~ KadajCloud

For Kadaj/Rufus content - #what you said and what you kept ~ KadajRufus

For Kadaj/Zack content - #tell me reality is better than memory ~ KadajZack

For Kadaj/Tifa content - #hold me close and show me hope ~ KadajTifa

For Kadaj/Aerith content - #i saw heaven in your embrace ~ KadajAerith

...

-- Nero Muse Ships

(open but undefined options as of yet)

...

-- Evan Muse Ships

(open but undefined options as of yet, played as mostly straight and head over heels for Kyrie by default)

...

-- Aurelia Muse Ships

For Aurelia/Rosso - #Passion Bleeds Golden ~ Rossorellia

...

(more to come as I come up with ideas for ships I support and play)

-- Ships I Like But Don’t Play --

For Aerti content - #I found you ~ Aerti 

For Zakkura content - #I would walk five hundred miles ~ Zakkura 

For Cloti content - #I promise you ~ Cloti

For Clerith content - #just in time ~ Clerith

(more to come as I consider the ships I like and figure out tags for them)

Extra Tags (work in progress)

For Angst content - #shall I give you despair ~ angst

For Fluff content - #chocobo fluff ~ Fluff

For NSFW content - #NSFW

For Headcanon content - #Umbral Headcanons

For Crack content - #this guy are sick ~ Crack

For OOC content - #Ash Talks

-- FOR SPECIFIC VERSE (TIMEWISE, DIVERGENT AND AU) --

FF7 Timewise

For content based before all the games, for any muse, IE before Before Crisis and Crisis Core timeline content - #V::BF

For content based around Before Crisis/Crisis Core (I don’t do much with BC though) - #V::Crisis

For content based around OG/R timeline (given they are a bit different, i may be inclined to use a specific one if the rp calls for it, or a join one if it seems the thread could apply to either or) - #V::OG , #V::R , #V::ORe

For content based between OG and AC - #V::PreA

For content based during Advent Children - #V::AC

For content based after Advent Children and between Dirge of Cerberus- #V::Advent to Dirge / V::A2D

For content based during Dirge of Cerberus - #V::D

For content based after Dirge - #V::After

DIVERGENT (some of the muses had basic verse tags for the general canon, but not all of them do, because i’ve added to muses off and on and honestly some tags aren’t necessary unless its really divergent or AU, so please forgive if I use some and not others)

Sephiroth

For my Sephiroth canon/divergent for least Jenova influence - #Beyond Hope | Di-Verse

For my Sephiroth canon/divergent for 50/50 influence - #Between Hope and Hell | Di-Verse

For my Sephiroth canon/divergent for zero influence - #Bask in Hell | Di-Verse

...

Reno

For my Reno general canon/divergent with HC involved - #Never Strikes Twice | Di-Verse

...

Kadaj

For my Kadaj canon/divergent that is basically based in canon - #What Remains | Di-Verse

For my Kadaj canon/divergent that is heavily influenced by alternate history HC--specifically this title is used for when he’s died and been brought back as amnesia’s Kadaj from AC and has to re-remember his former life - #What Became | Di-Verse

For my Kadaj divergent/AU verse where he is a SOLDIER and made and raised similarly to Sephiroth within ShinRa, as he is in What Became verse, except this verse tag is specifically for that time period and/or for if he continued on from that time without ever dying and being brought back by Sephiroth in AC - #ShinRa Bound | AU Verse Kadaj

,,,

Vincent Valentine

For my Vincent canon/divergent that is basically canon with some HC influence - #Original Dirge | Di-Verse

For my Vincent canon/divergent that is alternate due to Vincent breaking free instead of sleeping, and seeking revenge - #Howling Requiem | Di-Verse

For my Vincent divergent/AU where instead of being abandoned after the years of experimentation and revival at the hands of Hojo and Lucrecia, Hojo instead comes back, collects him, and makes him an ongoing back burner project of brainwashing, memory manipulation, and basically making him Hojo’s attack dog that is lent back to the Turks as a superpowered member but is also removed at a whim to be thrown into Deepground to work with the projects there. - #ShinRa Bound | AU Verse Vincent

...

Nero

...

Evan

...

Aurelia

For my Aurelia verse where she survives Deepgrounds rise and fall via being trapped until after - #Golden Main | Di-Verse

For my Aurelia verse where she was involved in Deepgrounds rise and battle, fell in battle, and rose again after - #Septimus Rises | Di-Verse

For my Aurelia verse where Deepground overtakes the Restrictors, ShinRa, and then Midgar, taking their freedom - #Golden Freedom | Di-Verse

...

AU

For my muses in the FF8 verse - #SeeD into Savior | 8 AU Verse

For my paranormal fantasy AU for early four muses (Sephiroth, Vincent, Kadaj, and Reno) - #Before the Dawn | AU Verse

For my Deity AU for early four muses (Sephiroth, Vincent, Kadaj, and Reno) - #Call Thy Name | AU Verse

(others to come for other verses with other muses)

...

-- FOR SPECIFIC MUSE HEADCANONS --

For Reno Headcanons - #Umbral Red Bastard HC

For Sephiroth Headcanons - #Umbral Onewinged HC

For Vincent Valentine Headcanons - #Umbral Crimson HC

For Kadaj Headcanons - #Umbral SilverShade HC

For Nero Headcanons - #Umbral Unholy HC

For Evan Headcanons - #Umbral Self-Made HC

For Aurelia (OC) Headcanons - #Umbral Golden HC

[knarme-stray]

Researching Lucrecia’s character (bcs for real, it’s pretty interesting to take a close look at Seph’s real parents) and hmmm. I honestly feel so sad about how Sephiroth was torn away from her. :c

She does come off as the type of person who has a low self-esteem and gets pushed around and manipulated a lot. She’s also a Shinra scientist so I can assume she is very intelligent (just not emotionally/socially!). This makes me feel sympathetic of her because I think I can relate to such qualities to some extent, being knowledgeable and a huge problem-solver but being overtly naive / good-willed in social relations + having given in to bad influences and pressure out of insecurity. It doesn’t mean Lucrecia isn’t responsible though, - she is. But her character flaw is that she couldn’t put together the courage to listen to her own moral compass before it was too late to realize how Professor “We are scientists, we know what we’re doing” Hojo doesn’t give a shit about her or anyone else.

Vincent is super sweet in her story. Ya’ll would call him a simp (somewhat understandably), but I also see someone who sees the potential for good in another person and tries to encourage it. He questions Lucrecia about whether she REALLY wants to partake in Hojo’s experiments that create Sephiroth. He is not an idiot for loving someone and trying to talk sense to that someone when they’re on the wrong path.

I can’t help but feel like Lucrecia’s own story is left incomplete. Her struggle is that she lets others manipulate her into something that is against her own judgement, sacrifices his own son to science and then loses him entirely because they literally won’t even let her hold him once he’s born. I see a vulnerable person who got fucked-over by a ruthless psychopath/manipulator. One who could’ve perhaps made better choices if she had more courage and understanding.

I did come up with some HCs for her backstory based on her canon character. No, not calling it canon but IMO this is the vibe she gives! I think a lot of things about Lucrecia hint that she has never been allowed to make much choices for herself, - perhaps she was that really academically bright, but extremely sheltered child once whose family never gave her responsibility, nor expected her to be responsible for anything ever. Basically.. She had a very sexist upbringing that stripped her off her sense of personal responsibility, agency and freedom. She shows signs of learned helplessness and relying on others, even very terrible others, like Hojo, on big answers. It seems that her emotional growth is at a very stunted state; she is confused, angry and sad and then in regret, and the only way she can deal with it is by hiding herself away.

I also don’t think she had the power to do anything about Shinra taking her child away. I think Hojo talked her into thinking she’s helping bring back the “Cetra” and helping all of humanity, you know, the stuff that manipulative weirdo would say to a naive well-meaning person to make her think this experiment is a good idea. Shinra Science Department decides you can’t even hold your newborn child nor be involved in his life... What is there you can do about that? These people will actually kill you for holding any tea against them. Lucrecia must’ve been so alone, powerless, and traumatized even further in that situation.

So yeah. I can’t bring myself to hate her, nor call her a “terrible bitch who doesn’t care”. I think she is presented as an adult with a highly stunted emotional developement who got taken advantage of, and that is, if anything, painfully tragic and disgusting. I feel sorry for her. The level of sorry that I almost feel an itty bitty tear in the corner of my eye? If Lucrecia is ever brought back again, I would love to see her finding courage in herself and bonding with people who support her following her own judgement instead of manipulating her. I would love to see her story continue, because being locked inside a crystal just doesn’t come off as a satisfactory ending.

She didn’t do the right choices but I just don’t think she’s as terrible as a person as what a lot of people say she is. I actually think she came off as a well-meaning but painfully sheltered and naive individual who got ruthlessly manipulated by Hojo who’s known to give zero fucks about other people. Hojo was like, “Haha, you stupid, you do as I tell you”. I was like “no, this is sad and disgustinng, fuck you Hojo and Lucrecia pls run away when you ca--- ooh shit”.

[breselin]

GENERAL.

full name.  Sephiroth (Crescent) pronunciation. x nicknames.  depends on who addresses him, it’s usually monikers from partners height. 196.6 cm | 6′5′‘ age. verse dependent. [ at least ] 20-40  zodiac. n/a. languages. any language. 

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour.  silver eye colour. fluorescent green skin tone.  pale body type. mesomorph accent.  midgar-centric accent dominant hand.  left. posture.  he holds himself very tall and very prideful, barely seen slouching. elegant in how he moves, some of his movements are so naturally well-placed, one could think of them as staged.  he is raised with very high self-esteem and it shows in all of his movements. scars. [ headcanon ] scar on his abdomen and the centre of his back from the wound in the Nibelheim reactor, the one he got from Cloud with the buster sword. there is a fine marking on his shoulder blade where the wing usually can be seen. tattoos.  none. most noticeable features.  his eyes, specifically for the fact that his pupils have cat eye like slits. even while all SOLDIER’s eyes should be the same colour, his is noticable greener, lighter in colour. 

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth.  nibelheim hometown.   Midgar birth weight / height.  n/a manner of birth.  natural birth. [ albeit, again headcanon material, I wouldn’t wonder if the birth was forced and hastened, even though we see Lucrecia later on in Crisis Core demanding to see her baby, this is Hojo we are talking about ] first words.  mama. [ note:  personally I think he might have seen one of the nurses/servants as a very close mother-figure, hence it would be that. if she was there later on or not is up for debate ] siblings.  n/a parents. mother: Lucrecia ( ‘deceased’, enclosed in a crystal ), father: Hojo ( ‘deceased’ ) parental involvement.  he was raised by ShinRa personnel, nurses and servants. unaware of his true mother and hostile against his true father. Hojo’s ‘involvement’ probably limited itself to the experiments and check-ups on his son. 

ADULT LIFE

occupation.  in ShinRa: General.  current residence. verse-dependent. As long as he still calls Gaia his ‘home-place’ he does live in Midgar after his resurrection, albeit this is combined with the fact that there are not many humans anymore in the city or none at all. otherwise, he usually lives with close companions or his partners in their places or simply travels around. close friends. verse dependent. his partners: cecil harvey, emperor mateus, mannimarco; estinien wyrmblood, viktor frankenstein, zack fair, genesis rhapsodos, angeal hewley.  relationship status. married to @furnezh | in a relationship @lichsent and @daemonczar financial status.  excellent. driver’s license. yes. criminal record.  mass murder, arson, destruction of company material

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation.  pansexual romantic orientation. panromantic preferred emotional role.  submissive | dominant | switch  |  unsure preferred sexual role.  submissive  |  dominant  |  switch |  sex repulsed libido. low turn on’s. biting, hair pulling, general more dominant behaviour of his partner as he enjoys them being disobedient quite a bit.  turn off’s. daddy kink like ew, any sort of fecal kinks ergh love language. brushing his partner’s hair. placing a hand on their lower arm. despite his tendencies of teases, lifting their chin with his fingertips.  relationship tendencies.  he’s very bold and open also in what he wants and who he wants, so being in a relationship with him enables his partner to just be honest and be them because he wouldn’t want anything else. 

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song. One Winged Angel. hobbies to pass the time. mostly wandering, reading. mental illnesses. that is a whole different can of worms. physical illnesses.  n/a. left or right brained. right. fears. by now, and how I portray him, he has very few things that could be called a ‘fear’. generally because of his outlook on what is around him, how he takes what is given to him, after losing his sanity, he is practically just ‘fearless’. 

before his downfall: losing his friends. seeing those he cares for injured. failure.  self confidence level.  extremely high vulnerabilities. his fearlessness is likely his greatest vulnerability: he will go out of his way to tear out of those he needs to control what he wants and to get them to react, no matter how dangerous it could be for him. he pays little to no mind to any ‘damage’ that could happen to whatever physical body he currently harbours.

tagged by: @lazhadeg ♡~ ‘v ‘

tagging: 8> 

@furnezh | @unheimlig - @daemonczar | @lichsent | @quirofiliac - @atlaslain - @edhelaran - @edhelgund - @xkuja - @ndeavor - @valorxdrive - @culturedconjurer - @garuvusu | @mammaterasu - @notxcrying - @kohkytus - @sanctiichor - @lxghtflower - @revolverized - @leveilleurisms - @cielcrd | @ofastrcmancy - @chainedambition [ and whoever wants to! ]

[yumetohokori]

' why did you choose as you did? ' (Seph to Lucrecia)

"At the time, I thought that what we were doing was going to help people, bring us more understanding of the past, of the Ancients... by the time I realised how wrong I had been, how wrong we had all been, it was already too late." Her hand reaches out, pressing against the crystal cage she finds herself in. "They never even let me hold you..." A tear runs down her pale cheek. "My son..."

@divinabestia

[goddess4302]

“I'm so sorry!”—Lucrecia to Vincent

Lucrecia Crescent is a non-playable character from the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII. She is Sephiroth's birth mother.

Lucrecia initially appeared briefly in Final Fantasy VII in optional scenes, but her role was expanded in Dirge of Cerberus -Final Fantasy VII-, giving her a larger role within the Shinra Electric Power Company Science Department and crediting her with research into Chaos. More details of her became available in Dirge of Cerberus -Final Fantasy VII-, such as her surname, her birthday (July 22), and her bloodtype (B).

In the Japanese versions of Final Fantasy VII she is referred to as ルクレッツィア (Rukurettsia?) in Lucrecia's Cave and its associated flashbacks, however when Vincent speaks of her in Nibelheim and in all instances outside of the game she is referred to with the kana given at the beginning of this article.

Appearance:

In Final Fantasy VII, Lucrecia wears a white lab coat buttoned over a red shirt and yellow tie. She wears black shoes and dress slacks, red earrings, and has her long brown hair pulled into a high ponytail with a full, straight fringe.

In Dirge of Cerberus -Final Fantasy VII, Lucrecia's appearance changes. She still wears a ponytail, but with bangs that resemble Sephiroth's falling over her left eye. The top of her ponytail is wrapped in a yellow ribbon. Her eyes are brown. She wears her lab coat unbuttoned over a light blue blouse with a ruffle, an asymmetrical dark blue skirt, and red heels. She also wears a silver pendant necklace, silver earrings, and a silver anklet on her left ankle. When encased in crystal she is dressed in a white sleeveless top cropped diagonally and a full length asymmetrical skirt with another draped over her left hip, tied like a sarong. She has a long white shawl draped around her arms, a long, three-tiered string of pearls, and white flats.

If one looks closely in some of the Dirge of Cerberus -Final Fantasy VII- cutscenes, one can spot Lucrecia wearing a pair of silver earrings in an ornate filigree design that somewhat resembles the shape of a dagger, similar to those of musician Gackt who contributed "Longing" and "Redemption' to the soundtrack and served as a model for Genesis Rhapsodos.

Personality:

Lucrecia suffers from a guilt complex. She has a kind and caring soul but tends to ignore the realities of life and convince herself to believe only what she wants to believe. Being a scientist, she is prepared to take risks for her research, something she, albeit to a lesser extent, shares with her colleague Professor Hojo. She can be emotionally volatile and stubborn.

Story:

Lucrecia, once a Class A Biotechnologist for the Shinra company, worked as an assistant to Vincent's father, Grimoire Valentine. They discovered two Weapons developed by the Planet used as part of the Lifestream's emergency function. Together, Grimoire and Lucrecia discovered the cave where it was thought Chaos would awaken at the appointed time. The newly-discovered Chaos killed Grimoire and Lucrecia's research was discarded as nonsense.

Lucrecia was appointed to work on the Jenova Project along with Gast Faremisand Professor Hojo. Vincent Valentine, a member of the Department of Administrative Research (which would later be known as the Turks) was assigned to protect the scientists. Lucrecia recognized Vincent as Grimoire's son and was shocked Shinra would assign the son of her deceased mentor as her bodyguard. As time wore on she began spending time with him when the two were off work, although she concealed having known his father, and the two grew close.

When Vincent spotted a document left on Lucrecia's work monitor telling of her time working with Grimoire, he confronted her and she revealed her culpability for his death. Vincent—not seeming to think Lucrecia was responsible as much as she did—attempted to console her, but Lucrecia was overcome by guilt and sought Hojo for comfort.

Lucrecia married Hojo and became pregnant. They agreed to use their unborn child as a test subject for the Jenova Project by implanting him with Jenova cells in the embryonic stage. This had an unexpected side effect: Lucrecia was frequently in pain and experienced visions of her son and the future atrocities he would commit.

When Vincent confronted Hojo about what was going on, Hojo shot him and experimented upon his corpse, but soon labeled this side experiment a failure and discarded him. Lucrecia, devastated by Vincent's death, used her knowledge about Chaos to resurrect him by introducing Chaos energy to his body. Vincent's body was strong enough to become a Chaos vessel due to what Hojo's experiments had already done to him, but Chaos was out of control and only stopped when the Protomateria reacted to it.

The Protomateria, which she and Grimoire had discovered and which Lucrecia theorized to have been created by the Planet "out of necessity as a means to control Chaos and prolong its own inevitable fate," had been in Lucrecia's laboratory presumably since Grimoire's death. She put it inside Vincent's chest and thus Vincent was able to control Chaos to a degree, but while it halted Vincent's decay, it did not immediately resuscitate him.

Lucrecia gave birth to Sephiroth, although it is unclear whether his birth occurred before or after Vincent's death. Sephiroth was taken away without Lucrecia even being allowed to hold him. While dealing with the emotional turmoil surrounding the loss of her infant son and the death of Vincent, Lucrecia was overcome with self-loathing and sorrow. She gave up on attempting to save Vincent and attempted to kill herself, but not before leaving her thesis about Chaos and Omega for the still unconscious Vincent. Due to the Jenova cells in her body, Lucrecia was unable to die and fled, ending up in the Crystal Cave where she and Grimoire had discovered Chaos.

Many years later, when the Planet is faced with destruction at the hands of her son, Lucrecia is found by Vincent while he is traveling with Cloud's party. When Vincent attempts to approach her, Lucrecia tells him to stay back. Vincent flashes back to his time spent with Lucrecia on the Jenova Project, and Lucrecia explains she felt such guilt she wanted to disappear or die. Lucrecia has been dreaming about Sephiroth and asks if her son is still alive, as she has heard about his supposed death but doubts the verity of the news. Vincent, who does not have the heart to tell her of the horrible things Sephiroth has done and is planning to do, tells Lucrecia that Sephiroth is dead.

Lucrecia remains in the cave and becomes encased in crystallized fountain of natural Materia that was there when she and Grimoire first discovered the cave. Vincent has several visions of her attempting to communicate with him through the crystal concerning Chaos, but the only words he is clearly able to make out are "I'm so sorry." These were the last words she spoke to Vincent before running from him and starting a relationship with Hojo.

Following Omega's destruction, Vincent returns to the Crystal Cave and informs Lucrecia that Chaos and Omega have returned to the Planet. He tells her that "everything is all right now," thanks her, and tells her she is the reason he survived. As Vincent departs, a tear rolls down Lucrecia's cheek.

It is stated in the Dirge of Cerberus -Final Fantasy VII- Official Complete Guide by Scenario Coordinator Hiroki Chiba and Producer Yoshinori Kitase that Lucrecia is still alive, that the crystal she resides in is a product of Lucrecia herself, and that her imprisonment within it is self-imposed. 

[idridian]

The Siren (Part 3)

Sorry for taking literal months to write the rest. My muse ran off and did other shit. I had to drag her back by the hair to sit next to me while I wrote down the things that were still missing.

You can also read this over on AO3!

It starts in his sleep. Distant noises, close enough for him to perceive but too far away to understand. The voice is soft, turning the words into a melody that vibrates through his entire body and pulls at his core. He thinks he’s heard the voice before, but can’t place it. Maybe it was part of his life before the water.

The voice persists, and follows him out of his dreams into the waking world. Strangely enough, it seems to grow stronger when he’s near water, until he can almost hear the words. Almost. Just a tiny bit closer.

He knows what to do.

He’s not allowed into water by himself, but it’s the easiest thing in the world to let his body go limp and float for a little while when going through his cleaning routine. A bathtub is hardly enough for him to dance, but floating will have to do for now.

And the voice comes. It slips right into his head, nestling behind his closed eyelids, and calls. So that’s what it was. It was calling. Calling, and pulling him to somewhere. Water it says Water behind glass.

A nurse pulls him up roughly and frantically checks his vital signs, holding his unkept hair out of the way while he coughs up water and tries to get the terrible burning in his muscles under control. He wishes she would’ve let him stay underwater for just a little while longer. It always hurts getting back up, worse every time, and his mind is never as peaceful as when surrounded by dim lights and dim sounds and weightlessness. But he never seems to be able to convey this sentiment to those taking care of him.

-

He doesn’t remember the moment the voice inside him grew strong enough to guide his feet. They moved quietly in the night, barefoot and soft on the tiled floor of the hospital, past the guards and through the gardens. And then further. He’s not sure where he is, but he’s still feeling the way the voice pulls at his soul, and lets it guide him to where it wants him to go.

At some point he’s standing on a ship, gripping the railing with enough force to make his knuckles turn white, and staring into the water while other passengers give him weird looks and whisper amongst themselves. He doesn’t have the energy to care about them, too busy trying to hold on, to not jump overboard and go back to where he should be. The water is calling to him almost louder than the voice inside his head. He stares until his eyes water and his muscles shake, and doesn’t dare move throughout the entire voyage. He’ll never understand how he found the strength to stay and not go.

-

Westward the voice pulls him when they finally leave the water and all its temptations behind, through the wilderness to a small, sleepy village nestled into the foot of a dark, grim-looking chain of mountains. There’s a pressure behind his temples, reaching all the way into his chest and pulling at his core, dragging him towards them. On top of the mountain. The tower made of metal. A door in a room full of red tubes. A name above the entrance. And behind it…

He doesn’t notice the way his leg muscles are screaming, unused to this much strain. He doesn’t turn around, and never sees the bloody footprints he leaves. Forward something inside his mind says Come to me. And he does.

-

The inside of the tower made of metal makes him think of soundproof glass and water inside air inside water. He doesn’t want to be in this place. But the humming is growing louder, clearer, and he needs it to stop. Almost there. He climbs the steps, and takes in the letters above the door.

J-E-N-O-V-A. He can read. How does this translate to expressing? To noises? He’s almost sure he should know this particular noise. His mind says Hojo.

Behind the door lies a room shaped like a dome, full of tubes and wires and machines. Irrestistibly he is pulled towards the metal statue at the far side, high up on a platform. He doesn’t look down. It smells like water, but he knows it’s not. This water will be poison, and drown him with fire if he tries to swim in it.

Tear it down the not-his-mind-but-inside-and-giving-orders says. His fingers grip the edges of the statue’s torso, pulling at it to wrench it from its place. It comes crashing down at his feet, and as he raises his head he finally comes face to face with the presence inside his head.

-

Tubes. Tubes tubes tubes tubes underwater behind glass not breathing light everything quiet. His brain screams, hammering against the inside of his skull as he sees himself-but-not-quite, pierced with tubes and hooked up to machines, naked and floating with silver hair all over the place and eyes glowing brightly. Her presence inside his mind has receded for the time being, waiting for him to come back and listen. She waits, patiently, watching him.

Finally, the screaming subsides, leaving him shivering. His fingers shake as he slowly starts expressing, fishing for the words that he needs, to ask for the only thing that matters. The most important thing in the whole world.

Do you have music? he asks.

She doesn’t understand, and tentatively touches his memories as if to ask for permission. Here? Is music here? Show me? He singles out something that he remembers more clearly than the rest, and tries to see through his own eyes back into the past. She watches the scene play out, and he nudges at the little detail that is the melody ringing through his mind. She hums, and seems to understand.

No. No music here. All quiet.  He shudders at the thought. Open the glass? she asks. Noise is outside the glass?

His brain is screaming as he throws himself forward, his body hitting soundproof glass Just like before. Just like back then. but this time it’s the other way around, he’s where the noise is and needs to get to the other side, the side where it’s wrong and terrible and quiet. The shattering sound is unbearably loud in his ears and he can’t believe he was able to do this, how is the glass so weak, how can this be possible? Green liquid bursts from the containment chamber, drenching him and pouring down into the poison water below. The not-quite-him slumps against him in the middle of broken pieces of glass and torn metal, shuddering and pulling painful breaths into her lungs? Does she have lungs? He doesn’t know.

He sits and trembles and tries to calm down. He wants back into the water so badly it hurts.

Slowly, very slowly, her shuddering stops, until she’s breathing quietly against his chest. His knees hurt from where glass shards are piercing through his trousers and pressing into his skin, but he doesn’t dare move.

Out of the corner of his eye he notices movement, and turns to see that the strands of her silver-white hair, so much like his own, are crawling up his arm like sentient, living things. They touch his hair – he shivers – and wrap around it, intertwining the strands until it looks like it was always like this, like they were born connected, one creature that just so happened to be separated into two bodies. For a moment nothing happens, but then she pushes, and suddenly he can feel not only his hair, the very tips of it, but beyond that, into the body on the other side. She pulls him in, and holds him tightly. Mine she says. My child. We will find you again.

-

The wind bites at his skin and pulls at his clothes, and one more time he wishes he was back in the water. The other-who-is-like-him is holding onto him tightly, clawing her nails into his shoulders until they draw blood. Their connection is frail enough to be broken if they get too far apart, and she won’t risk that. If that means hurting him, then so be it.

Northeast, into the mountains. Treasure behind the waterfall. She opens her mind to let him feel the way it’s pulling her. We follow where it pulls us. We need the treasure. Treasure will make us one again. Treasure will wake you up.

He doesn’t know what that means, but her mind has a direction and a goal and his doesn’t, so what choice does he have really?

-

She leads him to water between the mountains, deep and clear and covered by a thin sheen of ice. It’s fed by a waterfall, and in turn feeds a river that disappears down to somewhere he can’t see. Water water water his mind sings, but he resists once again. He doesn’t know if the other-like-him can live in water, or if it would damage their bond. And she doesn’t seem interested in the water anyway, instead pushing him in the direction of the waterfall, whispering Between the rocks. Secret between the rocks and the falling water. Secret secret secret treasure. Reunion.

Obediently he follows her lead, squeezing his body through the narrow passage that leads deep into below the mountain, into a damp and chilly cave system that is eerily quiet except for the faint noise of rushing water. His breath forms white little clouds, and he shivers. Water would be warmer, but he can’t. They’re so close, and he can’t lose track of where he needs to go.

The passage eventually opens into a larger room, even colder than the rest of the cave. The noise of the waterfall has faded into the distance to the point where the only thing they can hear is the occasional drip-drop of water falling from the thin stalagtites that cover the ceiling, into the lake that covers most of the room’s floor. His eyes are drawn to the large, translucent crystal formation situated right in the middle of the lake. And inside it…

Lucrecia the not-quite-him whispers in his mind, and reaches out.

-

The woman stirs, moving through the layers of the crystal as if they were water, until it gives her up and she stands on shaking feet, looking around herself and taking in the environment. Her eyes meet his, then the ones of the not-quite-him who looms behind him and glances over his shoulder. The woman frowns.

“Who…?” she mumbles, rubbing her temple “What are you doing here? How did you find this place? Did Hojo send you?”

Hojo is dead, his mind says. He signals. The woman’s eyes widen.

He continues forming words, fire and Ge-ne-sis and An-ge-al and Shin-ra and others, searching his brain for how they all go together and make sense. Almost at the end of his fumbled explanation he realizes that he forgot to tell the woman who he himself is. He remembers that. He knows it. Knows how to express the noise that belongs to him.

His hands form the string of signs that mean him, and suddenly the woman makes a painful sound low in her throat, stumbling through the knee-deep water that seperates them, reaching out for him and saying what he expressed back at him. The sound is familiar, and soothing, and he doesn’t know why it makes her hurt but it apparently does. Her hands touch his face, pulling him against her body as she repeats the noise that means him over and over and over, tears running down her cheeks. He is oddly reminded of the one who throws fireballs – Genesis, he corrects himself, he knows the sound and the signs – who also used to do these kinds of things. The woman’s hands grip his neck and his back and his shoulder, desperately trying to hold him tighter, as if she’s afraid that he will vanish when she lets him go. The mind-inside-his-mind hums in anticipation at the touches, and purrs Reunion.

Re…union?

Fire crawls up his body from where the woman’s hands are touching him, spreading through his veins and beyond, through the connection with not-quite-him who is gripping him harder than ever, hissing into his ears and trying to reach out to the woman. He wants to pull away, escape the fire and return back, back into the water, into soothing darkness and peaceful forgetting… but it’s too bright around him, too much noise and too little air in his lungs. His name has become a mantra hammering into his head, filling his mind and feeding the fire.

Reunion.

He can’t breathe.

The woman has stopped holding him and instead watches with sad eyes as he gasps for air and claws at his chest.

“I’m sorry” she whispers. “I’m so sorry”

-

-

What are you sorry for? Sephiroth thinks, but his voice won’t obey him when he opens his mouth to speak. It’s not your fault I lost myself.

And the mind-inside-his-mind, the creature he found in the reactor, J-E-N-O-V-A, Jenova, laughs inside his head. You are here she says Three pieces make one. And for as long as you’re with me, you won’t be lost again.

Sephiroth looks back over his shoulder, into her unnaturally bright eyes, and then back to the woman in front of him.

“Mother” he says. His voice is raspy and almost unrecognizable from disuse. It hurts to speak, like a cheese grater being pushed along his windpipe, and words are difficult after so many years of silence. “Thank you”

The woman smiles through her tears. “Anything for you. My son… anything”

-

Sephiroth leaves with Jenova still grabbing onto him, both of them acutely aware of how careful they must be. He needs her. The wind outside seems colder than ever, stabbing at his skin like needles. The layer of ice on the lake outside has grown thicker. Sephiroth wonders why he ever felt the need to swim in it.

My cells inside her body were enough to bring you back Jenova whispers into his mind But you cannot be without me. Without me you’ll fall. We have to be one now, and stay together.

“What about her? My mother?” Sephiroth croaks, coughing when his voice gives in again.

She did what any mother would do. You needed her cells, and she gave them to you.

Sephiroth doesn’t ask again. He doesn’t want to hear the answer.

-

He manages to drag the both of them further into the mountains for another few hours before his weakened body finally gives in and he collapses. For the first time Sephiroth looks back, and sees the red footprints.

He is still in the same spot when Genesis finds him.

Sephiroth is half asleep, curled up into himself and Jenova, but jerks awake instantly when he hears the footsteps in the snow. Genesis stops dead in his tracks at the sight of them. He stares at Sephiroth’s battered and bleeding figure, and at the creature holding onto him. Something dark stirs in his eyes at the sight of Jenova, some kind of recognition that only grows when he notices the way their hair is intertwined, how their movements and expressions mirror and match. He draws his sword.

“Genesis!” Sephiroth calls out to him, hoping to avert whatever rash decisions his friend is about to make. He tries to smile, but his lips are chapped from the cold and start bleeding.

Genesis is still advancing, eyeing Jenova warily. “Hold still” he says “I’ll get her off of you”

Sephiroth frowns, confusion turning to worry and then to panic as he realizes what Genesis is planning to do. He’ll take her away. He’ll take away his memories again. Something snaps inside him.

“You can’t! I need her. You don’t understand”

His voice has grown louder and shriller with each word, until the last one is barely more than a desperate wail. He has started moving backwards, scrambling to get away from his old friend who’s staring at him with such pity and decisiveness. Jenova’s nails are digging deep into his shoulders with how hard she’s holding on to him.

Don’t let him! she hisses inside his mind Don’t let him take it! Fight! Fight back and protect us! Protect our bond with every ounce of strength you have! We need to stay together! He cannot separate us! Do not let him!

Sephiroth wants to obey, wants to get up and draw his sword and make Genesis fight for what he’s trying to do. Except his sword isn’t there, his legs are shaking and his feet are bleeding. He used what remains of his Soldier strength to reach Jenova and carry her to the place they needed to go.

“That thing…” Genesis is saying, watching Jenova rip through Sephiroth’s shoulder and cling to him “…that thing is dangerous. The entirety of Soldier is out trying to find and contain it. It’s hurting you”

Sephiroth feels like he can’t breathe, the air getting stuck in his lungs and closing off his windpipe.

“Don’t” he gasps. He’s hyperventilating. “Please, don’t! I don’t want to go back to the way I was. I don’t want to forget again. I want to be me”

Genesis hesitates. He watches Sephiroth clutch at his chest and fight for air, the way his muscles convulse and won’t obey him. Then he sighs, and raises his sword as he takes another step forward.

“I’m sorry” he says, and it sounds like the truth, but Sephiroth can’t think, he can’t breathe, he needs to get away, needs to save himself and Jenova. He needs his memories; he needs his mind to be awake and aware; he needs to remember Genesis and Angeal and Zack and Hojo and Jenova and Lucrecia. He needs to know who he is.

The blade is cold against the back of his neck, carefully gliding underneath his hair which a hand has gathered up, silver and soft and impossibly long, and the only thing saving him from the water. Jenova is screaming in his mind, ripping him apart in her anger about being unable to save them, but all Sephiroth himself can do is cry, silently and helplessly, staring at the ground in front of him and trying to remember all his happiest and most important memories at once before they disappear again, in a kaleidoscope of bright colours and noises and faces and words.

The sword jerks upwards, cutting in one swift motion.

-

-

He wakes up.

Surrounded by the familiar, safe environment of the hospital, with the wounds on his ruined feet cleaned and wrapped in bandages, and his mind feeling terribly empty. Empty empty empty empty. There was something there before. But what? What was there? What did he know? He reaches deep inside the place where his memories should be, where he knows they were just a little while ago, acutely aware of the sudden loss. I knew who I was. I knew something important about myself. Where did it go?

He cries and doesn’t even know why.

It was never this intense, never this clear. He remembers knowing who he was, but the knowledge itself is gone, wiped from his brain. How? Why? He doesn’t know. He knows nothing.

Feeling the need to hold onto his hair for comfort and hide away for a while, he reaches behind his body to touch and gather up the soft strands and wrap them around himself, warm and soothing and familiar. His fingers touch the thin fabric of the hospital gown he is wearing, where normally he knows, remembers, that hair should be. Nothing there. He frowns in confusion. He feels around and around, further up his back, until his hands reach his skull.

Then he starts screaming.

-

They can’t calm him down. They simply can’t. He feels his body hitting soundproof glass, steadily increasing the pressure behind his temples, and he can’t breathe.

He can’t understand.

They make noises and express things.

He can’t concentrate.

The meaning behind it all escapes him. He wants to curl up and hide behind his hair and never get back up. But he can’t. He kicks and screeches and feels like he’s drowning.

And his mind retreats, retreats to somewhere they can’t follow. Retreats until the noise is gone and he can hear his own heart again.

Gone gone gone something screams inside him, tearing at the edges of his brain violently until tears fill his eyes. Gone gone gone gone gone. All gone.

But what?

He doesn’t know.

-

Tests are performed to see if he still knows how to signal, how to read, how to write. He refuses to eat, and is fed through needles and tubes again, just like back then. They bring him a box that plays music in an attempt to cheer him up. He throws it at the wall with enough force to make it break into pieces. He doesn’t want music. He doesn’t want anything.

He wants…

He doesn’t know anymore what he wants. But he knows he’ll never have it.

-

Genesis rarely ever comes to visit anymore, avoiding the hospital. Questions as to what happened in the Nibel mountains go unanswered and are met with nothing but a shake of the head and perhaps a muttered “Doesn’t matter anymore”. The missions he goes on become longer and longer, drawing Genesis away from Midgar for extended periods of time, sometimes as long as several months.

Zack and Angeal still keep him company while Genesis is gone, and speak to him, filling the emptiness inside his head, if only for a little bit. It helps distract him from how light his skull feels without hair to hide behind. Distraction is everything. He needs something to concentrate on, because when everything is quiet it’s too easy to remember that he doesn’t remember.

-

The sun is shining when it happens, and the two of them are sitting outside. He is playing with a bunch of black and white figurines on a board full of squares, with Angeal watching him and making sure he doesn’t wander off. The little box that Angeal always carries around plays its happy little melody, demanding his attention. Angeal flips it open and holds it up to his ear, saying his own name and then listening to the noises from inside the box. He listens for several minutes, growing paler and paler. When the noise inside the box goes quiet he tries to speak, but all that comes out is a choked-off sob, and then he drops the box and slumps forward, shaking and drawing in irregular, labored breaths.

Angeal leaves without saying goodbye, leaving him sitting on his own without a clue what is wrong.

-

It’s raining when they pick him up from the hospital, carefully guiding him into one of the things-that-move – car, vehicle, he tries to remind himself, he knows those words – and sitting in silence as they drive somewhere – where? He doesn’t know. He moves his limbs uncomfortably, grimacing at the strange feel of clothes-that-are-not-from-the-hospital. The things-on-his-feet (shoes) are the worst part of it all. He wants to feel with his feet. Otherwise his feet are blind. He already knows and understands so little; he needs his body to find out things for him when his mind can’t.

There’s a lot of people there when they arrive, all dressed up in black. They look at him with wide eyes. He doesn’t care. Rain soaks through his clothes and makes what little is left of his hair plaster to his face like a wet curtain. He’s shivering.

Angeal explains very slowly for him to understand why they’re here. Most of the words don’t make sense or don’t seem important, but a few stand out enough to allow him to concentrate on them. Genesis is dead. Something bad happened on a mission. Genesis made the mission go wrong himself.

He doesn’t feel anything.

They stand in the rain for a very long time while different people make noises. Angeal next to him is crying, but he himself is calm and silent. He listens to the soft drumming of the rain on the ground, and is dimly reminded of a cave behind a waterfall where there was a treasure waiting to be found. The treasure is gone now the emptiness inside him whispers.

By the time they get back to the hospital, the one who throws fireballs has already disappeared from his mind, never to return.

-

He wanders the hospital grounds, trying to keep his body occupied while drifting inside his own head. Angeal and Zack visit and leave and visit and leave. Nurses do checkups and make sure he eats and drinks and exercises and doesn’t drown while bathing and help him understand when the noises people make are too fast and blurry for his confused, distracted brain. He sits by the water outside and rests his hurting feet. He tries to ignore the emptiness and the pain of missing something vital, something important. Something that he’s not even sure he would recognize if he found it.

Time passes, and he ignores it, watching people appear and disappear and sometimes never come back. It doesn’t matter. The emptiness is calling, louder every day. He follows the lines of the tattoo on his neck with his fingertips, and from somewhere deep inside a voice whispers ‘Ho-jo’. He cries and doesn’t know why.

-

The night is cold and smells of snow when he wakes up, a breeze drifting in through the open window. He can hear the waves of the water outside all the way from here, how they caress against the shore. Quietly, he leaves, unnoticed by the guards. Reminiscent of so long ago, when it was a different call he was following. But tonight it’s nothing but the water.

The grass is soft beneath his bare feet as he wanders down, the breeze pulling at his white hospital gown and the ragged strands of what remains of his hair. He stops at the shore and slowly sits down, easing his aching feet into the water and dangling them carefully. It soothes him, like he knew it would.

He tilts his head back and stares up at the stars that are so clearly visible, the sky cold and clear without a single cloud in sight. He feels like he’s never seen this many stars in his life. They fill up his vision, glittering and shining, and so very far away, forming constellations that he cannot name. The world is quiet at this time of night. There is nothing left to distract him anymore.

Gone gone gone his brain is yelling, desperately reaching for memories that aren’t there anymore. His chest tightens, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. It hurts.

He lowers his head, away from the stars and the clear night sky, and stares down over the water’s surface where what lies above is reflected, broken only by the little ripples caused by his dangling feet.

His skin prickles at the thought of what it would be like to go back, to hold his breath and dance like he used to. Whether it will be enough to give him peace from the wordless screaming inside his head.

He moves without even realizing, getting back up and wading into the water, deeper and deeper until it goes all the way up to his hips. The hospital gown drags behind him, clinging to his wet skin. He tears it off and throws it away, shivering at how cold the air is. The water is almost warm in comparison. The stars disappear as the waves he creates break the reflection, turning the lake into a dark pit, bottomless and so very inviting.

He follows the invitation, forgetting to hold his breath before dipping his head underwater, and suddenly he’s floating again, with water above and below and to every side.

Sephiroth a woman’s voice whispers, and then I’m so sorry.

The screaming in his mind has turned to humming, a distant melody luring him in like a siren, calling to him and pulling at his core, promising to fill the emptiness and give him back what he lost. Deeper, it calls, deeper and deeper and deeper. He follows, and he’s so close, so very close, the realization of who he is almost on the tip of his tongue.

His muscles burn with every movement he tries to make, spreading the pain until his whole body is on fire. And suddenly it’s there.

I’m…

He knows.

I’m here…

He is awake.

I won’t leave again…

He remembers.

I’ll never leave again…

And he dies.

[bulletprccf]

& they say that soulmates are two halves of one whole.

A Vincent/Lucrecia ficlet by Sennen.  They say that soulmates are two halves of one whole, a single being who cannot fly for its wings being rend apart.  We, of the Planet, know far better than to question seraphs of one wing, but perhaps there is something to be said of how lovers will reflect each other in their eyes, in their words, and maybe even in their deaths.

                                              ( Do not stand at my grave and weep.                                                    ( I am not there; I do not sleep. )

                    ( But we loved with a love that was more than love--                       ( I and my Annabel Lee--                     ( With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven                       ( Coveted her and me. )

         A cascade of long brown hair glowed auburn in the fading sun.  Those eyes glittered like gemstones as the light kissed her skin good-bye.  A name was shaped by lips that always seemed to have just a touch of cosmetic, and his name came by a voice so lovely it rivalled a harp.  “Vincent.”          The memory dissolves as the sound of rushing water brings him back to his senses.  The towering cascade replaces the vision of brunette locks, and a cool mist paints across his face, enticing him with a lover’s touch.  Ruby eyes open.

         When they had stumbled across this cave, the kids had rushed in, eager for treasure though ever wary of specters like the one at their tails.  A sudden hush had piqued that very person’s interest--what new horror awaited them, what new massacre of Shin-Ra?  And when he had entered the cavern, a woman, far lovelier than he had remembered, had greeted him, wrapped in solid materia.  Like a shot from a silver handgun, her name had burst, painful and unwilling, with a voice so hoarse it might have sobbed.  “Lucrecia.”          She had stirred--partially, at least.  A specter, like one they had wished to avoid, of her had appeared and had showed all the kids what had happened thirty years ago.  Seeming to recall what Sephiroth had done at the crater, Cloud had remarked, “She’s Sephiroth’s mother, all right.”  And oh--Sephiroth.  When she had asked after her son, he had not been able to bear telling her that they were going to kill him.  And so, with a lie, ghostly eyes closed.

                    “The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,                      “Went envying her and me:--                     “Yes! that was the reason (as all men know,                       “In this kingdom by the sea)                     “That the wind came out of a cloud, chilling                       “And killing my Annabel Lee.”

                    ( And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side                     ( Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,                       ( In her sepulchre there by the sea--                       ( In her tomb by the side of the sea. )

          His soul had been in such torment, he would have given anything to swallow the pain that just seemed to push upward, outward, that took the form of death as he rampaged against unsuspecting beasts.  Even after all that, he had been filled with a need to go back.  And so now he enters again, but this time she does not greet him, instead leaving him the silence of her mako coffin.  As he kneels at her altar, he reaches out toward her crystal.           Beautiful Lucrecia, whose true sparkle laid in her intelligence and drive, powerful enough to tear a man asunder, as if he’d been rend by a bolt of lightning and not the mere critical gaze of glittering eyes.  For memories, fond and fair, are the most gorgeous epitaph one could give, far more lovely than a headstone comprised of frozen time and illustrious crystal, and when visage gazes upon it after thirty years of hearts dead and buried in boxes, in caves, beneath not six but sixty feet of earth, the love comes crashing back like a tidal wave, enough to knock a man to his knees, and then it ebbs away to a place he cannot reach, replaced by regret as cold as a corpse laid bare on a silver table and encased in a glass tube–a nightmarish specter, the beaten and the damned, the imperfections cut away until nothing but a shell is left, on display for all to come and knock on the cage, and observe the new king of death ( hades forgive me, i wanted naught but to be a man ), adorned with a fire that provides the only warmth he needs and hounds that bark out his commands with lethal howling.  There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for another ( and we know so much about that, my dear–if i am to claim hades’s throne then come with me and i shall crown you persephone; you will stand as an eternal memory to the warm breeze that has turned chill and sour ) but in the end–           ( i did nothing. )

          Her soul had been in such torment, and how she would have cried out against his touch if she could have, but her voice is silenced, encased, inwardly pleading to stay away, stay away, stay away from the beast that will consume all.  Even after all that, his hand connects, with a brush of bare fingers against her home.  This first time, she cannot say a word, and instead it is the howl of a daemon that surfaces as the dark Lifestream flows into its unsuspecting and perfect coffin.  As it recoils back, it reaches for the freedom of the world outside.           Quiet Vincent, whose true merit laid in his attentiveness and understanding, soft enough to build a woman mighty, as if composed of mountains and not just the words of someone who sought the truth in her.  For belief, warm and light, are the best gift he could have given, far worthier than jewelry of ice or flowers of flame, and when ear hears all elements after thirty years of sealing that leaves a woman deaf and dumb, in caverns, behind waterfalls that roar when she cannot, the love comes drifting back like a breeze, enough to cause a woman’s head to raise, and then it buoys away, taking her with it, whisking her from her prison of experiments and pain as foreign as an alien life form until nothing but the glass is left--a museum of beauty only Valentine can see, for she has withered away to dust but he refuses to see, for she strove to bring illumination to the world and shine a new sun--”forgive me, icarus, your lessons did not hold”--, and such advancements have made him blind, made him a monster that calls the end with lethal growling.  There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for another ”i took him from you and i took you from this world--this damnation of you is all i could accomplish; i did the best i could, but i fear you will stand as an eternal memory to the warm breeze that has turned chill and sour.  my dear, i tried” but in the end--           “i’m so sorry.”

                                                “Do not stand at my grave and cry;                                                     “I am not there. I did not die.”

“Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep” Mary Elizabeth Frye (1932). “Annabel Lee” Edgar Allen Poe (1849).

[altocat]

I am craving mega angst so naturally I must come to you

What if Lucrecia left the crystal with Vincent’s encouragement and joined the main team to find Sephiroth, hoping to bring him back to his senses…

Maybe it almost works…Seph is starting to break and realize that he had been decieved, only for Jenova to lash out and kill Lucrecia.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sephiroth goes absolutely berserk and tears into himself without warning. His rage and betrayal at Jenova simply has nowhere to go since they have now merged. Sephiroth seems to have completely forgotten about his goals and the party and now is little more than a foaming, raging mess, all trades of conscious human thought eviscerated.

Fortunately, that gives Cloud just enough time to put Sephiroth out of his misery for good. The kindest thing he probably could have done to reunite mother and son in death, even if he will never forgive Sephiroth.

[altocat]

I was reading your spiritual sequel to AMT and I got to the Lucrecia part…where Seph actually meets her….Altocat what did you do to me, I literally can’t stop sobbing. Not even joking like it was snot and tears and physical chest pain help me 😓😓😓

It was so beautiful though and now you have no idea how much I want this type of scene to happen in the remake. I want Seph to meet his real mother and decide that he is done fighting.

Cloud should still kill him but Sephiroth needs to be okay with it and die in his mother’s arms. I would die a thousand times over if that happened. It would end everything. It would also be a good callback to Kadaj’s death where we saw him find peace and go to the Lifestream when he hears his “mother’s” voice but see…even then that wasn’t real closure.

We NEED an actual reunion. I don’t care how it happens but they have to bring Lucrecia back somehow to end her son’s rampage. It’ll probably never happens and that hurts my heart but how many times are we going to see Sephiroth fight, lose, and then vow to come back? He refuses to give up.

He has to find his real mother and die with closure. I feel like he will never quit otherwise. My heart aches for Lucrecia and Sephiroth to find each other even more now. It’s the only way. :/

Flashes admittedly features some contradictory stuff on my end because I said I don't really see a Sephiroth redemption arc happening in canon and then BAM look what I did. At least I left it open-ended.

With that said, YES. I definitely want them to meet at some point in canon, though I know it might result in complete disaster. One thought I had is that Sephiroth goes with Lucrecia into the crystal, either willingly or unwillingly. It would be a good way for Lucrecia to atone for being horrible by somehow stopping her son.

But also the tragedy of them never meeting is equally important and cements the reality that Sephiroth will never really find what he's looking for. He can commit all the ugly, nasty little crimes his heart desires, destroy the world a thousand times over, but he will never, ever find her, or realize the truth.

Some people think Sephiroth already knows about Lucrecia thanks to being in the Lifestream. I disagree, especially now that he had the photo for reference. That part of Sephiroth's mind is blocked, either due to his merging with Jenova or him being convinced he's already found his true mother. I still don't think he knows, or believes in Jenova enough to not try to access the truth for himself.

[umbral-stigmata-unbound]

Before the Dawn AU - Sephiroth (long post)

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Music Theme Found Here

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Basic AU Info from Profile:

Sephiroth is the only one of his kind--many a Dryad there have been, and some birthed forth from his home land, but none like him. He himself is bound to the Mother Crystal found within the Great Woods in the Forgotten City. For many years, he believed himself a pure being, created to protect his Mother and all that was pure and good that she created or reigned over in the City and at its edges. He knew she hated the weak, the powerless, just as much as she hated those greedy with power and arrogant with toxic ego. And so he hated them as well. For why would he not, if mother did? He protected the City, and roamed within it. But when the day came that a dark Vampire came strolling through, intent on clawing out one of the mothers resting within the crystal (as the form of two women seemed to rest within the great large crystals core), something in him changed. By nature and nurture, he was intent on fighting this Vampire off, but he spewed nonsense about being his true creator, and that his Mothers were useless and greedy wenches. Argument and battle ensued, and what few friends Sephiroth may have gained from the very small population of beings and descendants of Ancients (the original elvenesque people of the Forgotten City and keepers of the crystals and the pure energy of the woods), they tried to aid him, to reason with him. But this Vampire, Hojo, seemed to tear assunder the very fabric of the life the Dryad had lived--He tore too deep into the crystal, and into Sephiroth’s own belief of his existence, and both made Sephiroth susceptible to control….from the very one he trusted most, his great mother Jenova, who’s power had finally been freed enough by the damage to the crystal to reach him. From then on out, she used him like her very tool of will. A great many inhabitants of the City died at his hand, as holy fire wrought throughout it, only a few fae and ancient descendants escaping, seemingly by Sephiroths failure to seize them… Jenova would seek to continue using him as her own puppet, building his power, his strength, twisting him into a possible vessel if she could ever have him free her from the crystal without absolutely destroying it. But Jenova wasn’t the only one in the crystal--no, when Sephiroth was to be made, by Hojo and his mate, Lucrecia, using a shart of Jenova’s crystal, conflict grew between them all, jenova influencing them without their know, breeding Hojo’s greed further, and Lucrecia’s love for those innocents who did not deserve his cruel actions (both the vampire pawn Hojo intended to create, and the back up they saw their claimed son would be). During a confrontation, Lucrecia was stabbed by the shard, which Hojo still used, thinking the ordeal only gave it more power, unknowing of the fact that it had corrupted his mate. Throughout their time developing Sephiroth, she found herself twisted between a cruel darkness akin to Hojo’s, and her true heart shining through. She was almost consumed by that darkness, but escaped with what seemed to be a crystalized egg, holding a small toddler within, and she begged Jenova to make it right, to forgive her her sins in what she’d done to the crystal, and help her give Sephiroth a chance to live. Jenova took advantage of this plea, took Lucrecia into her crystal under the pretense it would prevent her corruption, which it did, but it also locked her away, and she took advantage of having her. Sephiroth was made a monster, by a corrupted Ancient locked away in the Great Crystal, meant to lock and purify her, but it could only bind her for so long. He was a nightmare upon the world, making victims of many beings, from werewolves, to vampires, to demons, to fae, to humans. It mattered not, so long as Jenova saw weakness that needed to be snuffed out. It seemed as if he would either end the world, or have to end himself. It was by the will of warriors that he was finally stopped, and the faint influence of the mother who sacrificed herself for his best chest, Lucrecia, that he found his end….and began again. He returned to the Forgotten City, forging from it’s waters anew, stronger, and wiser, and wearing his crimes and cruelty and truth like a weight upon his shoulders. He now wanders the world looking to purify crystals by a ritual taught to him by a tender ancient decadent girl from before his wreckage upon the City--he wanted to ensure Jenova’s reach would not continue, that she would be removed, never to harm anyone again (unbeknownst to him, his rebirth after defeat at the hands of a specific warrior would produce Jenova’s last attempt at presence, a Water Nymph in their combined visage). He is seen as a monster by most, and does not deny it, but he carries on, to make the world better from the damage he did to it. His natural form involves pale skin, very little clothing if any, minor horns sprouting backward from his bangs, discoloration of the skin around his, elongated nails, markings upon his skin that look like tattoos made to look like cracks in his skin, a few embedded crystals in certain patterns here and there over his upper body. He also has a feral form which involves glowing eyes, discoloured, iridescent skin, crystal embedded horns as opposed to his normal horns that look similar to dull and half dead branches of the trees of the Great Forest of the Forgotten City, a wing of Crystal and light, and slightly increased size. (timeline of his story is dependent entirely on what we as rp partners decide).

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Name: Sephiroth, the Crystal Dryad, the Silver Fae, the Fae Curse.

Species: Crystal Dryad, only one of a species never seen before him. (Much like a Dryad of the forests and its soul tree, but he is bound to a Great Crystal of the old Ancients culture).

Role/Profession/Job: Originally protector of the Forgotten City of the Ancients, and indirect Knight of the Mother Crystal. Then, the will and hand of Corrupt Jenova bound in Crystal, he became a curse upon all. Now, he wanders alone to mend the world, to help it heal from the damage he caused. 

Age: 30′s

Nature: As a Dryad, he is drawn to protect, care for, and stay near his connection source, and so he was very much a proud dweller of the Forgotten City and it’s forest. He mingled within the trees and smaller crystals, explored, tended to nature, and took down harmful beasts sent to taint the land. He was a peaceful being, but as he got older, he got restless and more protective, more intense, more closed off. He secluded himself. And then all connection and concern was twisted up and locked away inside him as intense loyalty turned into corrupt loyalty, leading him to harm others and lands beyond. But, his true nature is explorative, curious, intense and valiant, willing to fight as much as he is willing to stand by.

Personality: Curious, loyal, restraint with his empathy but yearning to reach it out to more in the world. He is a being seeking experiences but bound by loyalty for much of his life, and so he resigns himself to that existence and how it requires him to be, personally. But he begins to loose his free will, and control, and seemingly all chance at a free life to experience a great many things. In the throws of Jenova’s worst influence, he is cruel, angry, and seeking what he feels is vengeance and righteous cleansing. But it is not what he truly feels nor how he wished to live. When freedom comes once again, he finds himself experiencing the world with the weight of his crimes on his shoulders.  

History: Unknown to him for a great many years, and still a bit of a mystery in the present, he was the result of a cultist covens experiments and their desires to make a powerful supernatural being under their will. It was a failure, of course, as they delved too deep into their desperation and used the power of a cruel locked soul to aid their work. Through the greedy pride of Hojo, the conflicted coerced efforts of Lucrecia, and the cells of another experiment as well as the cells of the crystal mother, a new being was forged. His crystal cocoon holding his toddler sized, beginning form was carried forth to Jenova by Lucrecia, who begged for salvation for her son. His formative years was full of wonder and pride and appreciation of his land, respect and bonding with the locals within the town, and curiosity of what was beyond. He always found himself coming back to rest at the foot of the Mother crystal, where he felt at home, cradled, watched over by Mother Jenova, glowing and beautiful, and Mother Lucrecia, gentle and soft. His teen and adult years grew with troubles and problems, and more responsibilities, but he sought to do right by all. But, without his awareness and willingness, he felt that desire shrinking and narrowing, and slowly the world seemed to become toxic, the cruelties endless and festering, and he found himself haunted by visions of a doomed, decaying future. And he found himself followed Mother Jenova’s pleas for him to cleanse lands of the cruelty waiting to ruin the world. His bloodshed began in his home, the Forgotten City, but it stretched beyond, for only a few years, before a few warriors and one in particular stood against him, breaking through some part of him (or was it the influence of Mother Lucrecia, or both?), and taking him down, freeing him from the fate of being a dark hand any longer. By will of the mother that loved him truly, he found himself reborn for a second chance, and so he has taken it, to make amends and find where he once was again.

Powers/Abilities:

Energy influence over some nature and weather. The darkness or light of his influence is dependent on his state of mind.

Crystal energy connection, manipulation, energy flow.

Crystal influence as a part of him, meaning he naturally influences shards as a part of himself, and sometimes they can grow into sort of guards or simple crystal sources embedded in his skin.

Super speed, strength, extra senses especially connected to the awareness of the planet.

Energy warping for various purposes, from light display, to energizing, to healing, to blasts or shields.

Feral Form Powers; specific attacks linked to his claws, increased crystalizing, flight due to the wing upon his back made of crystals and energy, stronger levels of all other influences, can tap into the energy of the planets crystals for devestating power, if he so chooses.

Fae magic and Ancient magic spells and treatments.

[umbral-stigmata-unbound]

Tag List

// Don’t mind this unless you need guidance, I’m just working towards being a better and more organized roleplayer by trying to actually properly tag things and develop tags for content, if i can get into the habit of tagging most of my reblogs lol. when it comes to characters or content i really like or want seen like meme prompts, i will most definitely tag. But others that are just mild reblogs, i may not take the time.

Tags Thus Far For Meme Prompts - #onewinged meme For Cloud content - #my beautiful warrior ~ Cloud For Sephiroth content - #onewinged tragedy ~ Sephiroth For Kadaj content - #silvershade-of-rage ~ Kadaj For Vincent content - #CrimsonWings ~ Vincent For Reno content - #number one red bastard ~ Reno For Tifa content - #kiss with a fist ~ Tifa For Aerith content - #goddess among men ~Aerith For Red XIII/Nanaki content - #flame of the wild - Nanaki For Rufus Shinra content - #shining gold shadow ~ Rufus For Rude content - #number one shade bastard ~ Rude For Tseng content - #the shadows hand ~ Tseng For General Turks content - #the shadow squad ~ Turks For Yuffie content - #sneaky shiny ball collector ~ Yuffie For Cid content - #redneck sonuva bitch ~ Cid For Cait Sith/Reeve - #the heavy hearted puppeteer ~ Reeve For General Avalanche content - #new dawn squad ~ Avalanche For Zack content - #angel among devils ~ Zack For Genesis content - #onewinged loveless ~ Genesis For Angeal content - #onewinged hero ~ Angeal For Jenova content - #Sephiroths lullaby ~ Jenova For Cetra content - #gift of life ~ Cetra For Hojo content - #greasy rat bastard ~ Hojo For Lucrecia content - #a crystal tear ~ Lucrecia For Deepground content - #the beasts below ~ Deepground For Angst content - #give me despair ~ angst For Fluff content - #chocobo fluff ~ Fluff For Headcanon content - #archives of the mind ~ Headcanon For Aerti content - #I found you ~ Aerti For Sefikura content - #hold me like I never did anything to hurt you ~ Sefikura For Zakkura content - #I would walk five hundred miles ~ Zakkura  For Cloti content - #I promise you ~ Cloti For Clerith content - #just in time ~ Clerith For Rando Ship content - #too good to be true ~ misc 7 ship

...more to come...

[umbral-stigmata-unbound]

|4.|

A few in one headcanon, honestly, but I’m in my Vince feels right now. With the help of a ideas from fellow Vincent fan, Skadren, I’ve come to the conclusion about Vincent’s unique get-up that is absolutely not the Turk Uniform he died and was kept in off and on through his experimentation.

For one, this is also tied to whether you imagine he was in and out of the coffin much during is time Sleeping. My extra thoughts on that HERE.

However, kinda don’t imagine he went out, running around, and collected clothing just to bury himself alive in. What would be the point in changing into the clothing he ends up in, if you intend to rest in living death for the rest of your life? SO...kinda had to be that someone else dressed him in that, possibly? I was only consider connection of hair length after being woken, and the bandana, before my awesome friend suggested further painful feels :) And this also ties to my headcanon that Lucrecia had a mild thing for Grimoire--I know that’s not a popular theory, and feel free to ignore it if we ever roleplay. But, for some reason, I just read certain things as her being smitten with the man, as well as looking up to him as a mentor, and probably a father figure at times. A lot of conflicted feelings that were kept to herself as she enjoyed their working relationship, and that were cut short when he died at what she felt was her hands and her fault (just due to an accident with the chaos essence and her going too far to test something, against Grimoire’s behest).

It’s clear that there was a known connection between Vincent and his father to Lucrecia. I know she kept her work with him a secret 80% because she felt at fault for his passing and it was complicated to have HIS SON be the one assigned to look after her. But she had something with Vincent, however led on or mutual, but definitely brief, it was. And when he found out about her working with his father, she couldn’t handle it, like her make believe world was shattered. So, there was a lot there.

So, still trying to work around wishy washy consistency of timeline, like mentioned in the last headcanon, here is my theory. Vincent was in that tube fora. while, and it says in fanpedia’s that she couldn’t keep going on, with the failure with vincent (chaos kept him from decaying but he hadn’t revived yet), and Sephiroth being kept away from her, she was done. Tried to end it, but her altered cells made it impossible, and then eventually, she couldn’t take it anymore and left to find whatever way she could manage to ‘end’ things. Which, for her, was binding herself away in the crystal caves which did it’s job well enough I suppose.

So in between that time, Lucrecia in such a deep spiral while her more than four year old child was taken from her, kept away, Vincent was actually recovering. Hojo had long since given up on what he tried to do with Vincent, and didn’t pay any attention, his focus on Sephiroth and other more important experiment’s than his failures. he very likely may have left once Sephiroth was old enough to take away from Nibelheim. This meaning, with Lucrecia wandering who knows where in her own suffering, Vincent revives and tears through the labs, wild and half conscious in a monsters body. He’s traumatized, he’s disgusted. This is where his desire to hide away to suffer begins. He was left a simple message from Lucrecia, revealing what may have become of her (trying to end her life), and he goes to wallow in the basement. He had so many being in him, likely fighting for control, and lost often. In the midst of his deliriousness, at his weakest point, in and out of consciousness, mind and body overwhelmed, Lucrecia may have returned, noting the state of him. She could barely be happy that he’d lived, given his state, likely able to see he was only suffering more, which piles more of her guilt on. So perhaps, as tribute to the first Valentine she lost, and as a last act of care and regret and what love she’d managed for Vincent, she acquired clothes reminiscent of Grimoire Valentine (leather get up, a wild cloak, and the bandana she’d managed to save from his body as he passed away). She dressed Vincent herself, seeing the damage done to him, and bearing it with sorrow. She left the red bandana in his hand, a last apology for all the guilt she held tied to him.

And so Vincent awakes once more, noting he was dressed, aware of who it must’ve been. The sight of his fathers bandana would weigh on him, until he bore it upon his forehead. And the rest was another weight, his own reminder, of his failure to protect Lucrecia like he promised, and with time, he would hide himself away in the coffin.

After he’s woken in OG, he keeps the garb. It’s his past, it’s his weight, it is shackles and protection. It covers a great deal of his shame, where none can ever see, and it serves as a stark, red reminder. It’s the father he lost, it’s his past with ShinRa, it’s his confusion and failure and heartache with Lucrecia. But with time, it also becomes him. It becomes Vincent, the sin ridden figure of the past that helps to protect his friends and save the world.