#a higher than realistic standard. a bit unhealthy but

[noxtivagus]

time to rest c:

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[mirrinbelde-shitposts]

Heyyy!

Here fr d game!

Umm im guessing ur an pisces mercury*hehe jst types wht comes to mind at 1st

Also i wont mind if u post it publicly or send me privately

Here is my birthchart(tropical)

Lawl SUSPENSE..Hehe

Anw Have a great day/night ahead🤍🥂

Guessing was fun tho..evn if i guessed wrng one💀🤣

Hey!! You did guess wrong, sorry about that xd but it's oki, don't worry about it! Have a good day too ^^

Welcome to your reading. Please remember to send feedback.

First impressions when looking at your chart: you don't have a lot of aspects, but a lot of them are exact: that wedge patter between Saturn, Venus and Mercury is very exact; you have an even distribution of planets among the signs and the houses; also, the angles (except IC) all conjunct planets or points

SUN IN AQUARIUS

As an Aquarius, you are quirky, aloof, dreamy and humanist. People may think you're awkward and detached, which is probably true for you since your Sun is at 0º of Aquarius. Your originality and uniqueness are probably the things you love about yourself the most. Your mind is also quite agile, which allows you to fulfil your dreams. Nevertheless, we cannot ignore the fact that the Sun is in Detriment in the sign of Aquarius. This means that the Sun can struggle here, making you feel confused as to who you are and how you can express yourself. You very much value your independence and your rebelliousness. However, you can be stubborn to a fault when it comes to your thoughts and opinions.

SUN IN THE 7TH HOUSE

The Sun in the house of Libra shows that you really enjoy socializing and that's also where you shine the most brightly. The Venusian influence gives you charm and elegance, which cause people to flock to you. Also, you may show your true colours in relationships, particularly romantic ones. Having someone close to you will allow you to achieve a better understanding of yourself. You do well when it comes to working with others; this placement helps the detached, independent Aquarius Sun to be more sociable and better appreciate others. Also, the Venus influence can make people look up to you and see themselves in you, something that doesn't really happen with Aquarius Suns in generally. You may do well in associations or organizations because you have a need to be in society.

MOON IN CAPRICORN

Once again, you have a planet in Detriment. Capricorn, the sign of Saturn, struggles to feel and voice the emotions they experience. Therefore, it is natural that the Moon finds this sign difficult. You think too much. Perhaps you had a complicated relationship with your mother, which may have caused you to repress your emotions. Capricorn placements, in general, tend to grow up and mature quite early, which leads to unhealthy coping mechanisms; you had to raise your walls up high, so you struggle to let anyone in. You may also be socially awkward. At the same time, you may seek validation from society, which is one of the things that may give you that emotional security that you deeply seek. You should work on letting your guard down; emotions are not the enemy, it's okay to feel what you feel. Let out your inner child once in a while.

MOON IN THE 6TH HOUSE

Here, the Moon is in the house of Virgo (but lying almost on top of the Descendant). There is a strong connection between body and mind. You seek emotional safety through your work and other acts of service; you want to be useful to people and to spend your time wisely. You may be a workaholic. Your routines are very important to you; you can get distraught if someone messes with your daily habits. Your health may be a concern to you, but since your Moon is harmoniously aspected, I'd say you're generally healthy. Nevertheless, watch for any hereditary diseases or problems with food or alcohol. The square with Mars suggests to me that you can quickly let out your anxieties. You like discipline, organization and cleanness; you are determined in the pursuit of your goals. You may have a vocation to work directly with people. Your moods may change quickly.

MERCURY IN CAPRICORN

With Mercury in Capricorn, you speak in a very structured, pondered way. You are very analytical and it shows in the way you communicate. You're a realist, but people may think you're more pessimistic. You definitely tend to be pessimistic at times, as well as distrustful and sceptical. You like to research, to gather information before speaking. You're concrete in your thinking, logical and organized. You take your time to make decisions; you weigh all the pros and cons carefully. Probably not the one to daydream or have many fantasies; you prefer the realistic and achievable. Although you're mostly serious, you can be playful sometimes.

MERCURY IN THE 6TH HOUSE

Capricorn Mercury is similar to Mercury in the house of Virgo. You are probably a perfectionist person, determined and organized. You analyse everything, yourself and your emotions included. You're very critical, especially of yourself. You hold everyone to high standards; once again, yourself the most. Like Capricorn Mercury, you can have pessimistic tendencies. You probably repress your feelings and rationalize them instead. Additionally, your knowledge can progress through daily life experiences and through your body. You should practice meditation and mindfulness because your anxiety and stress may have a direct effect on your bodily health.

VENUS IN PISCES

Venus is exalted in Pisces. This sign is intuitive, empathetic and emotional, which are traits that Venus likes. You feel everything and negative energies really get to you, so it's important that you find a partner that gives you emotional stability. You make a good lover, for you are caring and sensitive to people's needs, especially your partner's. Venus here gives you ethereal, alluring vibes. You can seem almost magical to people. You can be very protective of those you love, selfless; you can even sacrifice yourself for them. You're a daydreamer, you live in your own fantasy world. You have great aesthetic taste and you're quite romantic. However, be careful not to be taken advantage of; your too-good nature can land you someone whose intentions are far from the best.

VENUS IN THE 8TH HOUSE

Venus here acquires some Scorpio traits, namely the need to get a deep connection with someone. You are a person of extremes, not of middle-terms. In this sense, you can get effortlessly get people to open up to you, to tell you their deepest, darkest secrets. Since the (H also rules other people's money, you may get rich through an inheritance or a good marriage. Also, people may trust you with their money. In love, too, they aspire to learn everything about their partner. You seek transformative relationships, ones that will allow you to experience a different range of emotions, another dimension, even. Casual relationships are probably not your thing. You can get too controlling and dominating, so beware of that. Also, financial security is important to you; you may even have a job that has directly to do with money.

ARIES MARS

Here, Mars is in its rulership. You are quite reckless and impulsive in your actions. You like to be the first, to be the pioneer (much like Aries is the first sign of the Zodiac). You have a knack for leadership and people tend to be happy to follow your lead. You are quite competitive in just about everything; you can have a sour loser. You are quick to get mad, but after you explode, your anger will be gone in an instant. You are great at achieving goals because Mars helps you to stay motivated and determined; you are quite persistent and usually get what you want. You can also work well under pressure. Laziness is not in your blood. Your independence is quite important to you, as are your opinions. You can be quite stubborn and difficult to argue with, simply due to your relentlessness.

MARS IN THE 9TH HOUSE

Your Mars is in the house of Sagittarius. This placement allows you to acquire the necessary willpower for the journey to the expansion of knowledge and discovery. Your actions should help you with the acquisition of further knowledge, as well as ideas and strengthening your freedom. This placement goes against the need of routine imposed by your 6th house placements; Mars here wants you to get out there, be free, have fun, think about life, yourself and the universe. You have strong morals and philosophical ways. This placement may make you strongly seek, hunt, even, the truth of the fundamental questions. On another note, you can develop an attraction to foreign people and may wish to move away from home swiftly and without hesitation. This can be abroad too.

JUPITER IN VIRGO

Jupiter is in Detriment in Virgo. Whilst Jupiter is all about philosophy, the higher mysteries and expansion, Virgo seeks for the concrete, for what it knows, for the logical and rational. Therefore, this placement requires work. You are sceptical, you need to think and analyse everything before you come to a conclusion. Growth is achieved through responsibilities and being useful to others. A bit of idealism would be good, Jupiter struggles in Earth signs. You may think that you know more than you actually do, that you see the bigger picture when that is not true. Be careful not to grow an ego. Your beliefs will be challenged in this lifetime. You have a desire to help people, and in relationships too you want to do everything in your power to aid your partner.

JUPITER IN THE 2ND HOUSE

This placement generally brings good luck when it comes to money and other worldly possessions. You may also like to spend money, more on your loved ones than on yourself. You may be big into giving gifts. In order to reach that emotional security, you may wish to surround yourself with material items that, to you, hold great value and importance. Once you understand how better to acquire that stability, you may become rather generous with your money. You want a comfortable lifestyle. Like Venus in the 8th house, you may be good at managing your possessions, thus causing others to go to you for financial advice. You may not show it, but you have strong philosophical convictions, which may prove to be impossible to change.

SATURN IN CANCER

Saturn is in Detriment here, which makes it four planets in Detriment in your chart. You may feel a strong need for emotional safety, which could manifest as a fear of abandonment. There may also be some emotional blockages present that you struggle to overcome. Saturn retrograde, being the planet of Karma, may difficult your mission in life. You could be stuck on an unresolved trauma from a past life. This may be represented by a figure of authority in this life, perhaps your father. Instead of attempting to reconcile your past, try to accept the world changing around you. You may be too afraid to venture into the world and to open your heart; accept that it is part of life. Find people that give you that security, but don’t pour out your entire soul to them; find a balance. Not everything can be kept in our hearts, but not everything should be shared, either.

SATURN IN THE 12TH HOUSE

This is quite a strong and powerful placement: you have the planet of karma in the most karmic house. Also, according to Hellenistic Astrology, Saturn has its joy in the 12th house. You may be afraid to mess with the subconscious because your emotions may overtake you. Saturn is related to blockages and yours may be due to paranoia, which is characteristic of Neptune and Pisces. You may repress parts of yourself that you are not happy about, which makes you feel better, but, at the same time, paranoia can set in and make you wonder if that is the right thing to do. That aside, you may also struggle with poor self-esteem and doubts about yourself and life. There can be problems of guilt of some sort, perhaps even related to your life itself. It is very vague, but my thoughts about this placement are, in short, that, from birth, there have been deep traumas within you that have blocked your inner peace. What does are, I do not know. ⬛️

[ayeshintheclouds]

I watched Never Have I Ever!! And I have many many thoughts. Just about on every aspect of it so oops this might be kinda long. But I like having somewhere public to post it cuz I don’t have to be apologetic and guilty about making it long, cuz if I was texting someone id feel as if I’m making them obligated to read so much.

Anyways!

Overall, I quite enjoyed the show! There’s a lot of controversy around it, i keep saying a lot of indian girls complaining about being misrepresented. Which I agree that they have a right to, because it’s the first time we’ve ever gotten a main character representing us, and we can’t help but hold her to a higher standard. But I’m trying to look past that a little, past the stereotypes and see it more by itself in terms of a plot and character development rather than just the cultural standpoint.

In no particular order, here are some opinions about the show and characters:

I loved the realistic arguments they show the night of her dad’s death. Honestly, they were a bit jarring how similar they are to our family, and how sometimes under pressure everyone kinda turns on each other and doesn’t get along. I thought that was a really realistic scene how a little thing like losing a music sheet ends up turning into a lot of unnecessary drama.

I love Paxton! I still absolutely can’t decide who I ship more with Devi but I do love his character. He genuinely does care for his sister, and he’s so quick to sacrifice his pride and call Devi when his sister needs help, even though he’s really mad at Devi rn. I think it’s adorable that his sister even gives him relationship advice. And Paxton is genuinely such a good friend, although he’s tryna be all cool and stuff, he encouraged her to be herself in her indian dress and I hate how Devi disregards his whole personality and only wants him physically. It upset me that she only saw him as some status symbol to obtain, never really an actual human with feelings. He deserved better, so although I love him, I’m not sure I ship him with her after she kinda used him the whole show.

The car ride scene!!! With Paxton and Devi! Ok I watched this scene approximately a bajillion times! I think it might be my favorite moment in the whole show. I love everything about it, the subtle glances they cast each other the entire time, the neon lights as they drive through the city, the way for once in the show she seems somewhat like emotionally vulnerable and nervous rather than brash and hot headed. The music was beautiful too.

I love Fab and Eleanor!!! I love their stories and I’m so so glad they got the attention from the show at least since they didn’t get it from Devi. Fab is literally so adorable and I just wanted to hug her🥺 Eleanor’s mom made me so frikin mad and I’m truly really glad Eleanor learned to live without her and how Fab helps her deal with it. I know it’s pretty dramatic how she stays dressing all different and changing her personality, but I related to that so much:(when someone hurts me or walks out on me, it makes me feel not like myself anymore, and I often visibly and noticeably change my attitude and behavior for a while before springing back.

The Kamala plotline!!! Uhhhhh ok very mixed feelings. I thought Steve was adorable. They just discarded him when he was an absolute sweetheart and it made me so sad for him🥺poor Steve. I do like that they’re actually showing arranged marriage for what it is though. In my opinion it is a very traditional and flawed procedure, as we see when Devi’s mom has kamala wear a certain outfit and has her hide the career part of her personality, to try to be a certain way she’s not. BUT I think i am glad that they didn’t show it as something forced upon her, like she’s being married off against her will to some creep she’s never ever met. It’s more like a blind date but arranged by parents. And although she is pretty pressured into it, she has the power to back out any time (even if it’ll somewhat outcast her). And I like that they decide to continue their relationship but on their own terms and he likes her for who she is. I think overall it’s a pretty solid and realistic representation of arranged marriage: a very traditional way of doing things with many flaws, but not forced or oppressive or morally wrong in any way, and can usually work out quite nicely many times. Except why’d they break poor Steve’s heart like that:(((

Ben. Ok Ben grew on me a lot through the show. He was such a complex and interesting character and I thought his development was so amazingly done. I thought he was truly such a sweet soul for doing all that he did for her, letting her stay over, convincing her to spread the ashes, driving her there so fast. I almost feel like he doesn’t deserve her either😂. And hhfjdndndnd I really don’t know how to feel about that end scene that was wild omg. But romance aside. Ben is such a well written character and I think he really was neglected by his family and I really hope that changes or he finds a family in Devi’s.

I know her parents and the therapist were side characters. But I think they’re pretty cool. I like the really sweet relationship her parents had. It was so typical indian parents yet adorable. The motorcycle ride and the comforting scene🥺 I love them a lot they remind me of my own parents. And I think her mom is infinitely strong for dealing with the death of her soulmate and Devi being so absolutely difficult. I think the therapist was extremely patient and the scenes with her were hilarious. I loved most about her how genuine she was. No therapist irl would care enough for the patients health that they would so blatantly disagree with them and even suggest they find someone else if it’ll help them. They would never risk losing the money and offending the client. I once heard someone say that they’d love to be a child therapist cuz all they have to do is agree with everything the kids say, be like “aw yeah the world hates u ur parents hate u, ur right” like feed into their teen angst, and the kid convinces their parents to keep paying for your services. But Dr Ryan is like a mother. She just wants what’s best for Devi, and she’s willing to sacrifice her own profit for it.

Ok I guess I should probably talk about my biggest issue with the show which is Devi. I kinda hate her😭I tried so hard I really did but I genuinely cannot bring myself to like her character. I don’t agree with almost any of her actions and her behavior upset me a lot. And pls you don’t understand she nearly killed me with second hand embarrassment the first episode in approaching Paxton like that aaAAAA Like I was basically watching through my hands at that point. I know she’s going through so much, she really has a lot of trauma and grief. But I can’t help but feel like the way she handles it is not very realistic at all, cuz I know people with trauma and they would never use it to justify the awful things she does. I know that everyone grieves differently and everyone has different coping mechanisms, but I just cannot bring myself to like her. Coping mechanisms that hurt others immensely are so unhealthy and I feel like she should’ve at least redeemed herself somehow. Maybe I sympathized with her at some points. But never liked her. I think she was disgusting to her friends, she always assumed her problems mattered more than theirs despite Fab and Eleanor having such heavy stuff happening. She didn’t even bother caring, and I’m convinced the only reason she even came back and tried to make it up was because of her own selfish reasons: she didn’t want to be lonely and friendless (she literally admits that!) and she’s jealous of that new kid they’re friends with. She does not seem at any point to actually care for their feelings as humans, and treats them like status symbols, two objects she owns to show people she has a social life. She reminds me of Greg from Diary of a Wimpy Kid and not in a good way; he was so awful to Rowley and obsessed with popularity and narcissistic Blegh. Also with Paxton like I mentioned before, she only cares about his body and popularity and literally does not care for his friendship and personality the slightest bit. I think it was disgusting that she lied about sleeping with him like that, cuz it may have been manageable to him, but for a lot of people, that’s like a pretty messed up thing and I don’t think they’d want to be friends with someone who was that creepy and a blatant liar. The stuff she said to her mom about wishing she was dead, that absolutely broke my heart. I can’t imagine being her mother in that moment and hearing your daughter say something like that after losing the love of your life. I think that would be like the worst thing to say to someone grieving, and might potentially endanger their mental health. I was truly worried for her mom, even though I know it wouldn’t be that type of show. Honestly. The only reason I don’t like full on despise her and think she’s irredeemable is because I pity her so much. She lost her dad and wasn’t able to walk for a year. That’s a lot of pain. But truly, like Fab said, it’s not a free pass to be a jerk. And a character shouldn’t be written in a way that their only redeemable quality is that u pity them to hold them less accountable for their actions.

Overall I enjoyed the show!! Minus devi😭but besides that, I’m so glad we’re getting some representation and there’s a new really cute and fresh show to watch during quarantine. I NEED A SEASON TWO SO BAD PLS and I really really hope Devi grows up a bit more in it and maybe I’ll start to like her:)

[nerdsideofthemedia]

Should the term “Mary Sue” be retired?

The original. 

I didn’t have any intention of posting my non-RWBY, non-MHA blog posts here, but here’s this one seems to be becoming important with the rise of the claims that Arya Stark is a Mary Sue. So here it goes:

In my walks through Dan Olson’s twitter, I came across this:

Which got me thinking: is the term “Mary Sue” completely pointless?

Before I wonder about this question, let’s take a quick journey through time. In the 70s, Paula Smith noticed a character pattern among the Star Trek fanfic and created a parody to point this out, “A Trekkies’s Tale”, whose protagonist was called Mary Sue. During the following years, the “Mary Sue” wasn’t necessarily considered as something bad, instead it was considered as a phase every writer will go through as it was intimately associated with self-inserts and was only applied to fan-fictions1;2.

In recent years, the term has left the fanfic and began being applied to original fiction too, losing its meaning along the way and gaining a pretty negative connotation. In fact, nowadays, “Mary Sue” is such an extremely subjective term that even TV Tropes admits:

“TV Tropes doesn’t get to set what the term means, the best we can do is capture the way it is used.” 1

Hell, I’ve even come across with this subjectivity, as once I called Orihime from Bleach a Mary Sue, on youtube, and one person defended my use of it by explaining she was liked by everyone, which wasn’t the reason I considered a Mary Sue to begin with and consider that justification to be pretty dumb.

Why is being liked by everyone not a good parameter?

Have you ever read/watched a shonen? Most of the good guys are on good terms. Even when there is some animosity between a main character and another one, it’s usually because of the other, like Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z, who dislikes Goku because he’s better than him, not because of anything egregious the latter did. In “My Hero Academia”, Bakugo hated Midoriya mostly because of pride and arrogance (they are now on good terms).  Yes, the Avengers may have not loved each other from the get-go, but, by the end of the film, they were ready to live happily ever after. And when the sequels even stop (they never will), they will end up being on good terms.

Another definition of what is a “Mary Sue” is it’s a character that is overpowered/great set of skills + tragic backstory, (sometimes even without the latter). So let’s take a look at:

Superman: an alien whose planet was destroyed, adopted by 2 humans, and has a set of skills that would make Goku turn… Well, he would probably just find it cool, but Vegeta’s head would explode for sure as he threw a temper tantrum. His powers include flying, super speed and strength (to the point of almost completely invulnerability), X-ray and heat vision.

Bruce Wayne: a poor (not literally) orphan who was raised by his butler and whose riches go beyond Taylor Swift’s wildest dreams, let alone poor (far more literal) little us. Thanks to it, he has access to technology that has little to no limitations, yet his money never ends.

Goku: an alien whose planet was destroyed, adopted by an old man who was killed by him in giant monkey-form. Not only he can fly, he is particularly powerful even for his people even though he’s a low-level specimen according to the planet’s hierarchic structure.

Ichigo: a guy who turns out to be part-Hollow, part-Shinigami, part-Vizard, part-who-the-hell-even-cares-anymore, even though some of them are pretty rare.

Harry Potter: an orphan raised by his aunt and her family, who all treat him badly, finds out he’s a wizard and finds out his parents have left him a mountain of gold (literally). Everyone either admires him or feels jealous as he is famous for “defeating” a particularly powerful wizard as a baby, without any damages besides a scar. He’s also part of a prophecy.

What about those self-inserts?

I guess we could still use the term as just a self-insert, but considering that most of the time we don’t know the writers, then we can only know their self-insertion if they tell us.

It also doesn’t justify its negative connotation. Writers are people, I presume, which means they have flaws. So why is a character based on oneself bad? Provided the writers are realistic and self-aware, those should be some of the most realistic characters. Now, I know there’s a trap in here, which is the tendency of favoring ourselves and make us just a bit (or a lot) more special than we actually are, but 1) this doesn’t necessarily happen to every self-insert; 2) that can happen whenever writers begin to favor a character for whatever reason, even if it wasn’t a self-insert, leading it to become more and more special or less flawed.

They’re the personification of perfection.

OK, except perfection seems to be kind of subjective, since what I like isn’t the same as everyone else’s. I mean I may like active characters and some may like passive characters. You may think perfection is pizza without pineapple, while I say “you are objectively wrong”.

Jokes asides, being different human beings, usually we end up writing “perfect” characters with our definition of it, which may not correspond to someone else’s.

For example, Bella Swan is called “Mary Sue” a lot for being perfect, but she’s deeply flawed. She’s co-dependent and suicidal. Edward Cullen is the one “Gary Stu” that actually stuck, yet he’s manipulative and a stalker. Yet, there is truth to the claim they are perfect, not to me, but to Stephanie Meyers as they are both idealizations to her, regardless of our opinions of them.

I suppose a character can be drop dead gorgeous, have all sorts of skills and being loved by everyone, but, eventually, he/she will make something that many will consider to be wrong. If that doesn’t happen, then there’s probability not a good conflict, which reveals that, maybe, the problem is in the story itself, not necessarily in the character.

Speaking of subjectivity in flaws and virtues…

“So why did you used to call Orihime a Mary Sue?”

Well, because I thought her flaws were inconsequential with Bleach begging me to sympathize with her for awful reasons and smart characters being really stupid, meaning causing unnecessary plot-hole or plot-contrivance for her. The few most glaring examples I recall (and I’ve read/watched Bleach at least half a century ago, so it’s possible there are a few lapses in my memory) being:

Her almost kissing Ichigo while he was unconscious. That scene is framed as if I am supposed to sympathize with her, instead of what it actually is: creepy as hell and also falls under almost sexual assault in many countries.

Her having an obsession for Ichigo to the point of only thanking him for coming for her in her mind, even though Rukia, Chad, Uryu and Renji were also there to save her. This again is framed as I’m supposed to empathize with her, instead of thinking she’s being narrow-minded and has an unhealthy obsession with Ichigo.

About others acting stupid: Uryu takes her to where Ichigo and Ulquiorra are fighting even though where they were before, Ichigo was losing cause he was holding back to avoid hurting her. Yes, the other place was bigger, but their powers were huge and Uryu taking Orihime should have been a stupid idea (and he’s supposed to be smart).

Not to mention, of course, she resurrects Ichigo by crying and yelling his name which was also major bullshit.

And yes, it’s time to talk about the gender-thing and to admit to my own prejudices despite being a woman, because Orihime isn’t the only character I know who has her flaws not being acknowledged or being perceived as good. Many male characters have all of those yet, I still don’t call them “Gary Stu” or any other male equivalent.

Sun Wukong from RWBY has pretty much all the same problems as Orihime: he stalks Blake for months yet faces no actual consequences. And his actions were framed in the show as “needed”, even though they weren’t since the entire Menagerie arc could be written without him with only minor changes. Creepy actions being framed as right and sympathetic – check.

He also abandons his team several times, which, again, was inconsequential (even if he confesses to being an awful leader in V6) and no way in hell a combat school would interrupt classes for an entire year. He’s completely oblivious of the Faunus struggle, though he’s a Faunus and goes to school in one of the most racist territories. And Blake goes from super paranoid to so relaxed she doesn’t even believe him when he says he saw a WF member wearing a mask for no apparent reason. If I had to guess it’s because if she kept being super paranoid, it would stand to reason she would be the one noticing Ilia spying all by herself, rendering him almost useless and without interrupting her talk to Ghira, which would have made Sun completely pointless. At some point, Orihime became all about Ichigo, Sun was always all about Blake (until V6).

Like I said, I have criticized Sun for being badly written, unnecessary and the contrivances his presence demanded, but I have never ever called a “Gary Stu”. Looking back, I think it’s a combination of a few reason:

I know “Mary Sue” is a term too subjective to be used without an explanation afterwards;

We just don’t tend to hold the same standards for male characters;

Even when we use them for male characters, it almost never sticks.

And I know I’m not the only one doing this.

Once, I came across an article that accused several characters of being a “Mary Sue”, including Orihime, but because she’s too perfect (are you sure about that?) and Sailor Moon, yet claimed Goku wasn’t one.  It’s particularly funny, because Sailor Moon is written to be more flawed than Goku (even if I much higher tolerance for Dragon Ball and DBZ to Sailor Moon).

Goku is an absent father and husband, yet his family never really holds that against him. His wife may complain about it a few times during the anime, but there’s no real strife between them and Gohan never holds it against him either. He gives Cell a senzu bean so that he and Gohan can have a fair fight, even though the entire world is at stake. It still is mostly inconsequential, until Gohan’s arrogance gets in the way.

Meanwhile, Sailor Moon is stupid, coward and petty many times, and it’s clear the writers knew it because they acknowledge those flaws within the show. She is mocked because of them, and her lack of resilience even leads to the death of one of the Sailors in a season finale, if I remember correctly (admittedly, I watched it 5 centuries ago, so I might be wrong). Yes, I know they come back from the death.

This is not an argument that Goku should be called a “Mary Sue/Gary Stu”, rather that the term is heavily gendered. It’s much more applied to female characters and even when used for a male one, it almost never sticks. Even in the example I gave, Edward Cullen, which was successfully labeled as “Gary Stu”, still feels like it was gendered-motivated. Not because of his own, obviously, but for the target audience’s: the majority girls and women. So there we notice another double-standard: the sex of the target audience also affects the claims to “Sueness”.

Ultimately, I have to agree with Dan, with the term “Mary Sue” being too subjective to actually have any validity and is deeply rooted in sexism. Explaining why a character doesn’t work for us  and why we think they’re badly written is far more productive. Let’s keep in mind, we aren’t supposed to like every character writers make, even the ones who are meant to be likable and relatable.

Note: Yes, I watched Overly Sarcastic Productions’ video on the subject. While I like Red’s take, I’d say almost no character in original fiction fits the mold. That in itself wouldn’t be the problem, but the fact that it will remain extremely subjective, I still find the term to be counter-productive, heavily gendered and it needs to die.

1 – https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySue

2 – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue

[kayasims30-blog]

Carb Consuming Out Overview.

When that pertains to getting going along with weight management, folks tend to have a great deal of reasons. Yes, typical weight loss results final merely 3 years, at which point the weight often has gone to least partly gained back. Meals is not the adversary That's our unhealthy habits, ideas, and also habits around food that wrecks our success. If you think uncertain, create a gradual shift with a progressively decreased amount of carbs in the diet plan over a handful of days or even even more. In justness, the authors mention yet another similar research that located equal levels of weight management and also adiponectin boost in both low-fat and also low-carb teams. Her answer" is presently a highly restrictive alleged whole-foods, plant-based" diet regimen that excludes any type of flours (even whole grain flours), oils, sodium, glucose, as well as seeds as well as almonds. Over weight diabetics (both kind 1 and also style 2) will normally lose weight on a low-carbohydrate diet regimen. Brian: Well, I've decided not to go forward with the procedure, accordinged to the fact that the dish replacement and also supplement program pre-operation was providing quite fast results. Plus when you perform consume, your body will typically have whatever food you provide this as well as save this as fat due to the fact that you are actually body system thinks 'when will I get food items upcoming?'. Thus there you have it. A healthier, more powerful, fitter physical body is actually just a few weightlifting sessions away. Therefore while http://vousmontreraumonde.info/lipo-cla-alimentation-sante-pilules-pharmacie/ doing work in the digestive tract in order to help foster satiety may confirm relatively useful with weight control, there is actually a lot more that matters regarding diet premium than a restroom scale could perhaps assess. They base their theory on the famous cure or even remission of several scenarios of kind 2 diabetes mellitus very soon after roux-en-y gastric bypass surgery (RYGB) created for weight management. While shakes supply realistic nutrition, he states they are not designed to change your whole diet plan. Consuming an accurate paleo diet in today times is in fact very challenging to accomplish, as the foods items on call to our ascendants were extremely other from those accessible to our company. Chickens will have been leaner and typical veggies would certainly have appeared and tried incredibly various. Cutting simply FIFTY fats a time from our diet regimens - that's a singular Jaffa Pie, people! People that slim down through fast weight management diets generally get the weight back soon after as well as incorporate even more extra pounds, which inevitably brings about yo-yo dieting. Diet plans that profess they operate" then, since they are actually needed by regulation to accomplish so, add in the small print that, definitely, they don't (results certainly not regular converted finally). This smoothie is a bright mix from bananas, strawberries as well as blueberries, mixed along with Diet Sea Spray's Cranberry Juice Consume alcohol and velvety fruit product sorbet. The verdicts are actually that an insulin-inhibiting diet is actually safe and also practical in selected individuals with state-of-the-art cancer. The only concern I will have using this diet plan is actually that the fat deposits content has to do with about 25-30g under the day-to-day referral for women. After years of falling short and attempting to lose weight, Cammy discovered her key which was gradual modifications in the direction of health and wellness and abandoning her old diet plan habits. At some point I was able to trust in the wisdom of my body to have me and also my weight where this should go. After that I simply needed to have my thoughts there using it. This planning will definitely modify the means you eat and also how you move toward weight loss forever. Low fat, while the end result is actually not as bit as low-carb, still lowers body system weight and also fat-mass, especially when incorporated with exercise, as any type of diet plan must be actually. Willful fat loss initiatives (whether referred to as dieting or even way of living modifications") possess a miserable success rate - most researches reveal that just the tiniest fraction (around 5%) from individuals deal with to preserve considerable effective weight loss longer in comparison to 3-5 years, as well as many people restore a lot more weight compared to they lost in the first place. I transitioned to a lchf (as well as higher healthy protein) diet plan under the support of a physician (we were actually attempting to get yet another medical concern under control). The program does not need counting fats, carbs or even body fat, which is actually an and for those really wanting a much more hands-off diet plan strategy. A group of HLA genes, which belong to the physical bodies auto-immune device, can easily impact our risk from coeliac condition, which then is actually a factor in calculating whether to follow a wheat free of cost diet. As when I can not manage to head to appointments the body weight comes back on. I feel healthier and responsible from my wellness and looking forward to some healthiness as I grow older. One panelist took note that this diet regimen is actually a great approach that might work with the entire family members," and also one more defined it as a terrific" planning. My Weight Watchers forerunner consistently claims: Just monitor on the times you want to burn fat! Your loved one can easily create the health and fitness component of their fat burning journey extra pleasurable by experiencing Zumba coming from the convenience of their very own sitting room. I get on the losing pattern currently (since I stopped doing exactly what was successful for me over the last - life and also college altered my concerns) and have lost weight in the past by doing the low-fat and velocity walking thing. In light of all this new study about the task well-balanced excess fats play in our body systems, the 2015 Dietary Rules, which are actually the United States authorities's food as well as health and nutrition suggestions with 2020, actually disregarded a standard ceiling on the amount of fat an individual must eat daily. If you consume low fat, after that necessarily you are actually consuming high-carb which can not be good for fat loss or even blood insulin reaction. Much earlier, in the course of Biblical times, or in early Greece, diet programs normally indicated one thing similar to not eating - limitations on meals consumption for spiritual or even ethical, as opposed to wellness or even medical, factors. Truth Fat burning Account is inspiring to write and also I truly favor these individuals that have actually dealt with disease, loss, broken heart, injury as well as more, all to get healthy on their own, as well as typically their loved ones. I carry out not remember what planning i was on or even how the calculated the one I must make use of. While this is among the absolute most important elements to earning Body weight Watchers (or even any strategy) work, that is actually additionally one of the aspects that heads out the home window the most. Therefore Phinney put a tiny team of best male bicyclists on a low-carb diet to evaluate this out-- pushing their physical bodies to use the fatty tissue outlets. There could well be times where you are actually tempted to cut fats straight down if you want to burn fat that little quicker - specifically if you've been actually diet programs for a special celebration. Simply explore have a peek at this web-site Planning webpage where you could improve your food selection and also planning particulars.

[its-julias-words-blog]

Habits Experiment

I’ve always had issues with keeping to working out and eating healthily. I have a condition called PCOS, which has a lot of symptoms but the one that really matters in this case is the fact that its super duper hard for me to lose weight, and to do so it requires a really strict diet and exercise routine to maintain. 

This summer when I had a lot less to focus on, I used to work out fairly regularly and focus a lot on how I ate, but now it’s the exact opposite. As school got busier I felt like the effort it took to go and workout increased from the summer, and I got more prone to eating unhealthy foods because of stress. I want to begin to get back on track with my working out, because I know it keeps me a lot less stressed and more focused. 

Explain your procrastination or multitasking problem and explain why you want to fix it.

The busyness of my everyday life has gotten in the middle of my self-care- and in turn has shot me into a spiral of not working out and then getting even less focused leading me to not work out! Me not working out also worsens the symptoms of PCOS which includes acne and hair growth which isn’t super fun for me! So, I want to take on this challenge to hopefully keep me a bit more focused and a lot more healthy! 

Explain how you will implement the strategy – be as specific as possible.

I want to be able to work out between one or two times a week to start, because it really matters to me that I first get into the habit of working out every once and a while before I fully jump back into exercise. 

My first session working out will most likely be this weekend (I’m aiming for Saturday unless something comes up) and around 11am after I’ve woken up and digested my breakfast, I will go downstairs to my basement where we have a stationary bike and treadmill. 

My first workout will be cardio, because I feel as though I have an easier time doing cardio than strength workouts. Cardio also gives me a much higher release of endorphins after I do it, and it seems to feel more effective for me. 

My cardio workouts will be about 45 minutes, 15 minutes on the treadmill and 30 minutes on the stationary bike. This workout is fairly standard for me, and I like the way it makes me feel a lot. I do know that later on I will have to change the workout I do because I get bored easily, but I want to be able to start with something familiar. 

After my workout I want to have a slow and mindful cooldown, doing some yoga would be a great way to do this, and since I did a yoga class in school last year I find it easy to pick back up.

I want to be able to work out around four times in the next two weeks- about twice a week give or take, once on the weekend and once on a school night. I think that workout schedule is very realistic and not completely time consuming. As well as that working out makes me a lot more focused so I think I’ll be a lot more motivated to work out after my first time working out. 

What is your end goal? How will you know the strategy works for you?

My end goal as I stated before is to work out around four times in the next two weeks. I’m hoping to be motivated to work out and I’m hoping to become more motivated and focused as the experiment continues. PCOS has been a big challenge to deal with and has really derailed my mental health and motivation recently, and keeping it more under control means a better way for me to maintain my mental and physical health. If I become more motivated to work out within the next few weeks and see some results I will know that the strategy has worked.

What are your critical moves?

My most critical move is to actually get downstairs and work out that first time because it’s super easy to find a million excuses as to why its not a good idea to work out. I need to be able to be the rational guide in my mind rather than a crazy monkey that focuses on the short term please of doing nothing and doesn’t see the long term benefits of working out.

In the future, also making sure that I change up my workouts so I don’t get bored, or taking up classes would be a great way to keep me motivated when working out.

How will you shrink the change?

The most important part of my plan is making it achievable for me- and that means it needs to be realistic. I could plan an elaborate 14 day workout routine that consists of a 2 hour workout every single day but I know that I’ll absolutely never get around to it. For me, that challenge is so scary that in the end I’ll lose motivation instead of gaining it like I’d like to in this challenge.

So, to not spook me (or the elephant) I’m creating an achievable goal which is two workouts a week with one being on the weekend. This eliminates the stress of thinking working out will take up too much time, and doesn’t tire me out to the point that I don’t want to work out anymore. Resonable workout lengths also ensures that I get positive endorphines from working out, and feel more focused but also do not feel drained.

How will you tweak the environment?

I want to make sure working out is done in a place where I feel comfortable and that does not require a lot of effort to get to. For example, working out at a gym 20 minutes away would certainly discourage me from going there because of the 20 minute commute. At home, I have ample room for strength workouts on the floor and opportunities for cardio workouts on the workout machines I have. This makes workouts easy to get to and also not boring!

It’s also important to tweak my workout plans for how I’m feeling. For example, I used to take boxing classes downtown and the feeling of going outside and travelling on the TTC over the weekend was a great change of scenery to staying in my home for the entire morning. I might want to incorporate those boxing classes in these couple of weeks if I feel I have the time and want to go downtown! Working out in front of other people also gives me a type of accountability for working hard. I want to be able to complete the work out since I payed for the class and since other people are watching me!

In conclusion, I am very excited to begin working out again, and to be a stern leader in my mind to avoid procrastinating exercise! I know just a couple of workouts will put me on track to doing more workouts and then in turn getting fitter. I’m curious to see how the challenge pans out and I will make sure to communicate what happens at the end of the two weeks!

[personalcoachingcenter]

6 Negative Effects of Social Media On Your Health - FinerMinds

New Post has been published on https://personalcoachingcenter.com/6-negative-effects-of-social-media-on-your-health-finerminds/

6 Negative Effects of Social Media On Your Health - FinerMinds

The use of social networking sites has become increasingly popular in the past few years. Social media has now become an important part of everyone’s life. It is something which is influencing our daily lives, and it has become extremely important for everyone (including brands, businesses, celebrities, and audiences) to have an online presence in the social media world.

Many of us are using social media as a regular means of communication. No matter what activities we do for the whole day. We make sure to check our Facebook and stay updated on Instagram.

In today’s globalizing society, social media is a part of our daily routine. Is it just a routine or is social media eating up our lives?

Social media is a boon as it has become easier to connect with people and industries overseas. But it is important to understand that this virtual world of networking is also a bit of a trap which is dominating our lives. Social media is consuming our lives and can be detrimental and damaging to our mental health.

Studies have shown that the excessive consumption of social media can have long-lasting effects on our mental health. According to various studies, the prolonged use of social media is linked with the symptoms of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem in teenagers and adolescents. It can also affect our sleep quality and hyperactivity.

Health experts also say that sitting in front of social media is the new age version of smoking. The effects of social media can be pretty damaging which is not good for our mental well-being.

Social media is a benefit for all those who struggled with socializing and communicating face-to-face. However, there are many people who are struggling with trolls, toxic comparisons, and cyberbullying because of the use of social media.

People of all ages are using social networking sites these days, and it is important to know how social media can have a negative influence on our mental health. Following are the ways in which social media could negatively affect your mental health.

1. Internet addiction disorder

Are you always on your phone checking updates on Facebook and Instagram? Are you excessively consuming social media? If your answer is yes, you may be suffering from Internet Addiction Disorder or IAD.

You may also be suffering from IAD if you play a lot of video games on the Internet or shop online always. However, social networking sites are one of the major reasons for people suffering from IAD.

Social networking sites get the users “hooked” which is interfering with their daily lives – relationships, work, and personal lives. Because of their addictive behavior, people might neglect their personal life. The over-dependence on social media can affect people from a psychological perspective and would affect negatively.

2. Decreased self-esteem

The use of social media has a major impact on our self-esteem. It can make an individual self-conscious and insecure. When we spend a lot of time online on social media, we tend to make comparisons which decrease our self-esteem and our confidence levels. Studies in the past have shown that self-esteem has an impact on our overall well-being and has a direct relationship with our overall health.

Constant exposure to social media can negatively affect our minds because many-a-times people take social media way too seriously and get trapped by the unrealistic standards set by social media. Seeking validation in terms of likes and followers, making comparisons with fellow people will tend to lower self-esteem which will further lead to symptoms of depression and anxiety.

3. Anxiety and Depression

The excessive use of social media could be a big cause for mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression. Studies have shown the people who use multiple social media accounts are at higher risks of problems such as anxiety and depression.

Cyberbullying is on the rise, and prolonged bullying on social media can lead to suicidal thoughts, anxiety disorders, and depression.

4. Making comparisons with other’s lives is mentally unhealthy

No matter what medium it is, the spiral of silence happens all the time wherein a few people isolate themselves and never express their thoughts. A lot of people feel socially isolated and tend to silence their thoughts because they start comparing themselves with avid users of social media.

Social media promotes social comparison, and it is important to know that comparison is bad as well as a dangerous habit. Comparing ourselves with others will only take our job and lead to more insecurities and agony. Comparing can lead to feelings of loneliness, unhappiness, and depression.

5. Lesser Human connection

Social interaction is critically important for good mental health. But with the coming of social media, we’re glued to our mobile screens and desktops and have less face-to-face interaction.

Having more friends and followers on social media doesn’t mean that you have a better social life. It is important to have personal and realistic connections than engaging online on social media.

6. Sleep deprivation and FOMO

Social media is linked to increasing sleep deprivation and using social media even for a couple of hours can have adverse effects on your sleep.

The excessive use of social media can also lead to FOMO (fear of missing out), a type of social anxiety. FOMO is dangerous and can cause stress and can also decrease your ability to concentrate on other things.

Social media is beneficial, but it is important to balance your social life with real-life relationships.

Go To Source

[oosteven-universe]

Betty & Veronica #2

Betty & Veronica #2 Archie Comics 2018 Written by Jamie Lee Rotante Illustrated by Sandra Lanz Coloured by Kelly Fitzpatrick Lettered by Jack Morelli           The Story So Far….       Before school started Betty and Veronica made a pact: they’ll always stay friends forever, they’ll go to college together and they won’t let a boy ever come between them. They’re only a few months into their senior year and things have already challenged their promise. A disastrous college party, a near kiss with a ginger-who-shall-not-be-named and the stress of work and deadlines have been slowly pushing the two BFFs apart. They need to reconnect soon before things get worse—and especially before the annual Riverdale Halloween party!       I have a weak spot for these girls, while they were fighting over Archie I was struggling to determine which one I wanted to be. Well I have to say Veronica always won out in the end, more so when I started watching Dynasty and I want to be Alexis. Somehow over the years they set the standard on what being best friends means. I don’t I conscientiously did it but I bet most of compared our friends and the intensity of them against the girls. It is one thing to know that someone has your back but it’s another to actually see that happen, time and time again especially through all the fights and arguments friends can have.        I really like the way that Jamie Lee is writing this too. Being as it is a limited series there are times that we have to kind of fast forward through some bits so certain circumstances can come to a head. I don’t mind that here because what we see helps to set the stage for the girls and what is going on in their lives that is separate from one another proving that even best friends can be pressed for time for each other. Also that while they aren’t spending 24/7 in each other’s company or have much time for phone calls or texts doesn’t mean that they aren’t going to be just fine. I think people need to realise that space is a good thing and that you and your best friend can have separate lives as well as the one you two share. Other friends and outside interests are healthy and make the bonds of friendship even stronger.       You may think I am over analysing this but I am not, not really what I am doing is say that this is what life looks like. Also that many kids growing up today have that one person they latch onto and expect them to be there for them every minute of every day and that’s unhealthy.  Also if you haven't noticed the way I have gone way off script that's how well this story arc has pulled me and had my thoughts move beyond the page.      I am still on the fence here with Sandra’s interiors. While they do very much come across as wonderfully all-ages I think that’s the problem I have with it. There is no distinct personality to it, it is generic and the characters don’t look like themselves. This definitely isn’t the Archie gang I grew up with but neither is it the television version either, certainly it isn’t remotely realistic either so in all honesty it doesn’t feel special enough to me. And what is wrong with Moose? No not for me which is a shame because it’s nice work just not on such iconic characters. That’s just me and my opinion, Sandra is a talented woman with a nice eye for storytelling based on the utilisation of page layouts but I just don’t like her for this.      There is something about this story that makes me think of Happy Days. While no Fonz or parents per se it has that quality of innocence to it and all of the situational comedic moments that come from misunderstandings that will be solved in the end. That is where it hits me and honestly I don’t think I don’t could pay a higher compliment than that.

[rifcringes]

Little personal Sanders Sides theory

Okay, so I’m gonna act like the four blokes (Fanciful, Anxiety, Logic, and Morality) are like the Inside Out emotions, in that everyone has their own. They likely act in a distinct way based on the person they’re attached too, but in general everyone has some variation on this form.

But what if what they regulated changed slightly from person to person, as well as their personalities?

Roman, for instance, seems to be in charge of Thomas’ self-confidence as well as his creativity. Likely, because Thomas is a content creator and takes great pride in his creation. But what if someone was proud of their ability to remain objective, or to maintain higher standards, or even to foresee negative outcomes and “keep it real”? Possibly self-confidence could be handed over to Logic, Morality, or even Anxiety. This could also regulate what Side is pushed to the side (aaaaaayyyyy) most often

Despite it being a running joke of sorts that Roman doesn’t get much screentime, even Thomas admits in the end it is Princey running the show oftentimes, because he is in charge of the creative process. Logic and Morality seem to vie for second place, and have it roughly split between them. Anxiety, as Princey’s opposite, is pushed aside or ignored by the others, and when he does take control it is largely to an unhealthy extent. In MBTI we call this a “Repressed function”, in that the side that has the least control may behave a bit like a small child when ignored too long: it’ll start screaming.

Now, change the cast a bit. Say a person prides themselves on being objective and factual. In that case, Logic would likely have the reins. Princey and Anxiety would likely duke it out as rivals/teammates, because Logical thinking requires help from both on separate occasions. Sometimes they need to be prepared to think imaginatively, and sometimes they need to deal in grimmer possibilities.  Morality becomes the ignored and derided side, given that Logic doesn’t really understand its purpose. This doesn’t mean they are amoral, but if Logic has the most power then that person will likely have a harder time getting in touch with their personal values.

Now give Morality control. This person would likely be somewhat emotional in nature, as well as high on integrity and friendliness. Princey feeds into their romantic notions of the world and their high-born ideals, while Anxiety tries to keep them cued into how they are being perceived by others and how they are affecting them (even if not always in the healthiest way). Logic is largely ignored, because though their conclusions are objectively true, they are often too harsh or mean to sit well with Morality.

Then there are Anxiety types. This person will likely think of themselves as realists. They’re trouble-shooting is pretty effective, and they have a talent for cutting behind false fronts, things that sound good but actually aren’t. They also tend to stress more than they let on how they are perceived and are often overcome with existential dread. Morality and Logic are both necessary to them. Logic helps them maintain their “realism”, often by providing them with facts to support their pre-existing view of the world as terrible. Their relationship with Morality is a little more toxic. They have a strong set of values, true, but more often than not Morality is just used as a reminder of how short they fall. Princey meanwhile is generally rejected as pointless day dreaming for an ideal world that doesn’t really exist.

None of these people are particularly healthy if left to their own. Anxiety doms are problematic pretty obviously. Logic dom types are often cold and disconnected. Morality doms have a hard time saying no and are often too people pleasing. Princey doms struggle to tie themselves down to earth and see the world as it is. The best way to go about life is to force all four sides to work in tandem, to balance each other

Idk I think I spent way too much time on this, but these are my two cents

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Eat Your Fat Away Reviews Course Training - My personal Reputable Review

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[kaliiwashere]

Best WoW Addons

It even has a in-built menace meter like Omen. Shamelessly ripped from my own posts on several boards (as I really like these addons a lot I'd like to extra individuals getting the advantages, and as they'll benefit much more if others would use them too). With the appearance of Garrisons, finding methods to shortly optimize your missions and get the outcomes reported again to you was a precedence for just about each participant, no matter what different content material they take pleasure in. You will need to get into our superstar eyebrow salon earlier than anyone sees those monsters. This is a ‘ brainer actually should get kodi addon of anyone In addition to assume ladies are and the place mod could be the best. BalancePowerTracker is an addon designed to provide a extremely configurable bar to track Lunar/Solar power, Eclipse route and Peak buff. You can filter bars based mostly on their durations and amount of time left (that is how the standard bar groups separate brief buffs from lengthy buffs). The best part about new expansions is that gadgets from older expansions go up in worth as extra individuals are occupied in the present enlargement and the quantity of items being farmed in older expansions nearly diminishes.

When new buffs, debuffs and cooldowns are detected that match the standards, bars for them are automatically displayed. That is required because each class might make quite totally different use of timer bars (e.g., some rely upon monitoring cooldowns while others look ahead to debuffs to expire on the goal). I hate pulling aggro and dying whereas trying to Iceblock as a result of I was in the middle of casting a spell, this macro will end the cast immediately and forged Iceblock, supplied the global cooldown is up. OmniCC must be appropriate with anything that makes use of commonplace cooldown capabilities. This addon is nice for customizing your bars and consumer interface. It is great for determining which mobs drop probably the most Frostweave cloth! Some pig memory resources, sluggish the precise Laptop to a get and make you wish for to drag your scalp out. To essentially get the full potential that MM Best WoW Addons 2018 - Gaming Deals has, minimization of motion is completely essential, and never everybody can do it successfully. You may select alternate coloring schemes. No one Wants addons to play WoW however they can definitely make your consumer interface more comfy. Implements multiple person support with a correct login (username and password) with hash/file ownership; and permission-based safety for particular eMule webserver features.

Aspect Be aware: Although these posts will include a lot of subjectivity, I have included particular "Creator's Thought's" sections in purple textual content case you need my opinion. I have lately starting selling Avon. Try to have the Stormstrike debuff on the goal earlier than pulling this one out. Try utilizing "TellMeWhen". While this can also be somewhat of a CPU consumer, it uses about half that of "Weak Auras". Make an enemy of them and you'll kiss the opportunity goodbye. You'll be able to conveniently discover out the keybinding positioning and help you in the shift of your new association without placing in excessive initiative. There are a number of addons that assist me out. Frontends for displaying character profiles are additionally included.. Circumstances are configured in Raven below the Circumstances tab. If you are interested with florist this is an effective screensaver for your laptop. If you've ever wanted to fully redesign WoW's UI, this is an efficient place to begin.

A special thanks to Goony, and Vocaloids for assisting me begin this venture. Simply remember that for these suites of mods, you will just want to select one in all them to install as they usually run into conflicts with each other. This complete overhaul of the public sale house interface can scan the market to trace bids, buyout costs, and quantity of gadgets sold. By the way, you possibly can add Locomotion to the checklist. The tradeoff, of course, is that you’re additionally getting rid of the fantasy themed UI altogether. How To put in World of Warcraft Addons. Top 10 world of warcraft addons! This Dynasty Wow Addons and Guides is protected by Click on bank’s return coverage, so meaning you don't have anything to concern and its rick free. Request a free quote as we speak! It’s simple to make use of and install, and comes with free upgrades For all times. LightHead And a realistically newer kodi addon, this in turn factor improbable for. Whether this whole factor is unhealthy or not relies upon on your perspective.

I've compiled a number of of my favorite add-ons that I believe will likely be excellent for somebody new. Everyone seems to have an affinity for Arcane Shot. SpeakinSpell randomly speaks (in your behalf) one thing intelligent/funny while you carry out actions (which actions trigger and what they set off is configurable) for example in 5-man dungeons. I like this for the micro and bag bars. I'm very fond of it because it was the first mod I managed to take away the chat buttons (up down) with. It was a bit challenging in the primary hour. Dugi is able to automatically detect the quests you’ve already accomplished. Carbonite - Obtain - A reasonably good addon for doing quests. Has bought an addon evaluate. If you are searching for a WoW Raid Guide that can step you thru the process, look no further than Spugnort’s Raid Information. This app is for all WOW fans! Summit Media (Summit Publishing Co., Inc.) is the main journal publisher in the Philippines with more than 20 titles under its umbrella.Use black listing and white listing filtering capabilities in these bar teams to customise them (e.g., you may make a Beacon of Gentle tracker by making a Sizzling timer bar group with solely that spell in its white list). It includes a Mirror Bar that handles Respiration, Feign Loss of life, and Exhaustion, as well as a new Target Bar, showing what your goal is casting. It additionally contains buttons for filling stacks of gadgets in your bags or reagent financial institution! I wrap things up with some ideas and methods for each wow occupation, together with a couple of objects it's best to keep in your bags at all times. I would have to glue my eyes to the action bars, glancing at my buffs sometimes and then to the bosses debuffs so as to maintain my rotation going. Keep track of upcoming DLC as a way to prepare yourself for the new content.

You may even set waypoints to different locations that are in other zones and even other continents. Disclaimer: Two of our guest authors on Calonge-Loria Investments are from Lamudi. I've had the assistance of two hunters throughout my work on this release. What you could work on is guiding the dialog in order that it Never reaches that point. Obtain - It let's you simply find a location (quest/mob/assembly level) with coordinates. Due to this fact not simply that you’re going to achieve cash to your leveling, it will be easier to level up the commerce expertise as a result of you'll discover the raw supplies you’re after within the leveling spots. It will prove to be an actual time saver. These are those rating for “Philippine Real Property Websites”. Wow I really should say you really are an inspiration. Written by a WoW vetaran who spent years making an attempt out gold making strategies. Over the last few years I've spent time growing a system utilizing crafting professions that permits you to earn thousands a day by only spending 20 minutes or much less in game.

The most effective professions for an Endgame Geared MM Hunter are Jewelcrafting, and Engineering. Are you searching for the best horde quest guide ever created? Gathering is the most effective and best ways to make numerous gold however most individuals don't know tips on how to do it efficiently. For that reason I am going to write down this guide about Retribution as it's the best choice of spec for solo leveling (my protection one might be ready soon). Ever surprise how they're doing it and they simply is not going to tell you? Listed here are some that I have enjoyed. You can get it's full potential by making some small adjustments here and there relying on your individual scenario (gear, damage, survivability, etc.). Meaning I’ll should give you my addons here! As a result of quests give gold, and doing them in a group makes them sooner and easier. Valkor also has instructions of nice addons that may also help make the money incomes business too much easier. Nevertheless, earlier than beginning to obtain any addons, make certain you recognize exactly what area of the sport you need to customise. Comment under and tell us what your favorite addon is. This addon screens everything it's good to know a couple of boss fight.

This addon is great for customizing your bars and person interface. No one Needs addons to play WoW however they'll positively make your consumer interface more comfy. For extra informations verify our website for recipes for dessert and chocolate cakes recipes. If you're leveling a brand new character, this can be a unbelievable addon that'll make your time in Azeroth feel more immersive and intimate. If you are going to make use of CTMOd, you might as properly simply download the superior zip file as it features a lot more mods. Every addon have something unique options similar to some addon have higher UI enhancements, one other have floating well being bars and other. Unfortunately, most people haven't got sufficient or run out of it very quickly. That is for use after you could have above four hundred ArP. What exactly do WOW Leveling Add-ons do then? A meter add-on is another one of those universally used add-ons. It allows you to caste buffs by using just one key.

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DAILY ASTROLOGY REPORTS AND HOROSCOPES FOR, 2-21-18

Astrology Cafe Daily Astrology ABOUT TODAY DAILY MONTHLY CHART You are here: Home / Daily Astrology / Astrology of Today – Wednesday, February 21, 2018 Astrology of Today – Wednesday, February 21, 2018 Feb 19, 2018 by Annie Heese Leave a Comment  The Moon is in Taurus. The Moon is waxing and in its Waxing Crescent phase. The New Moon/Solar Eclipse occurred in the sign of Aquarius on the 15th, and the First Quarter Moon will occur on February 23rd. **Times are Eastern Standard Time (EST). Daily Astro Highlights for each Sign: Aries  Aries This day has a strong potential to be both sentimentally touching and practical, dear Aries. You’re taking things step by step, which works best under today’s influences, and holds the added benefit of helping you relax as you sort things out in an organized fashion, mainly related to work or life path goals and responsibilities. This can be a time for resolving a problem that has been weighing you down. As well, Venus and Neptune’s alignment in your privacy sector suggests warm moments in your emotional life. This is a yearly event that presents an excellent opportunity to bring more compassion and imagination to a relationship or to forgive and let go of a past relationship matter or connection. It’s a lovely time to find inspiration and to start fresh on an emotional level. There can be magic in the air you cannot quite describe. As such, now is the time to give others the benefit of the doubt; you may find your kindness rewarded in an unexpected way! The other side of that coin, however, is that your rosy mood may blind you to romantic or financial issues that you would otherwise take more seriously. Taurus  Taurus Venus and Neptune coming together is an excellent time to re-evaluate concerns you have within your friendships, dear Taurus. Interpersonal problems can be worked through with newfound clarity and compassion. Approach others with forgiveness and consideration and look forward to a brighter relationship, but be careful not to wind up with your head up in the clouds. In your efforts to improve your relationships, do not forget to focus on your relationship with yourself, dear Taurus! Consider how you might feel in the long-term, and strive to achieve the happiness you deserve. This aspect is wonderful for connecting with your spiritual, emotional, romantic, or imaginative needs and embracing them. It can be a time for forgiving someone or letting go of a social problem or grievance so that you can bring more positive energy to your current and future relationships. Or, this can be a time of wonderful inspiration, compassion, and warmth related to a relationship or special project. Dreams and hopes or wishes are inspiring now. Also today, a more practical influence is with you, and it’s especially strong for taking care of the details and logistics of a plan or your life, in general. Conversations can be super useful now. Making lists or writing out intentions can also help you sort out clutter. Gemini  Gemini Your communication at work may see a shift away from productivity and into compassion, dear Gemini, so that you may find your interactions feel more meaningful and fresh. Today, your idealism is stirred. An entirely new activity can help bring emotional refreshment. It will be important to keep yourself grounded and realistic, as you are likely seeing romantic partners in a dreamy way and entertaining many thoughts of what the future might bring. Helping you out in this manner is a Mercury-Saturn sextile that’s good for work and problem-solving. This is an excellent time to listen carefully to a partner, and put in extra effort to learn, study, or perfect a project or craft. You’re seen in a very nice light today. Cancer  Cancer Venus and Neptune align this afternoon, dear Cancer, which can help you look ahead into an idealistic version of your future. It’s a good time to let go of any unhealthy attachments in your life and take a break from the usual routine. You may find your idealized view of the future clouding your judgment of the present, however. Nevertheless, this is a strong time to improve interpersonal relationships, particularly when it comes to forgiveness and reaching new understandings. A Mercury-Saturn sextile also influencing the day is excellent for dissecting and digging for answers, which can be especially satisfying and beneficial. Leo  Leo A conjunction between Venus and Neptune encourages your imagination today, dear Leo. Listen closely, as some fuzziness is likely when it comes to an understanding of another person’s perspective. You may find yourself seeing beauty in the unexpected and maybe even enjoy some increased intimacy in your life. Your imagination soars – you’re seeing life in a different, dreamy, and inspiring way right now. Yearnings are powerful today and can dominate your thinking. However, a Mercury-Saturn sextile helps ground you. In fact, there is wisdom in your approach today. It’s easier than usual to identify time wasters and waste in general. This transit helps you tighten up details and work. Virgo  Virgo From today on is a period of creating and strengthening positive relationships, as well as sharing ideas with others, dear Virgo. While this is a time to enjoy flights of fancy, particularly regarding a partner or a relationship, it would be prudent to ensure you don’t stray too far from the practical world. Still, take some time to enjoy wearing the proverbial rose-colored glasses. Helping ground you is a Mercury-Saturn sextile. A patient approach brings the most benefits today. This transit is strong for adopting a patient approach. You instinctively know that taking your time to perfect something will be more satisfying in the long run. Libra  Libra Today, you can put effort into a creative project now and truly make headway, dear Libra. A Mercury-Saturn sextile helps ground you and assists you in giving your life more order. Even so, you may very well enjoy some fuzzy thinking as your ruler, Venus, aligns with Neptune encouraging you to relax and escape the mundane. You’re prone to romanticize or glamorize your relationships or situations and people in your life right now. You’re surely in need of some fantasy and escape! Ideas are creative, and feelings are compassionate. While the day is complicated, your powers of attraction are powerful. You can successfully bring imagination to your work and even your health routines now. Scorpio  Scorpio Lovely Venus and Neptune come together in your sector of creativity and romance today, dear Scorpio, and you can quite quickly get caught up in fantasy. A new creative project begun now can be successful. You can be especially inspired to express your feelings or emotions in unique ways. This can be an imaginative day for a creative project as well. Children, lovers, a creative endeavor, or a favorite pastime can provide a pleasant detour from stress and a nice form of escape. If you expect too much from a regular day, then you could feel a little let down. Otherwise, it’s a fine day for finding beauty in what you have and perfection in imperfections. As well, you benefit from a Mercury-Saturn sextile that is stabilizing and grounding. Practical problem solving is favored. Sagittarius  Sagittarius This is a lovely time for dreaming up new ideas, particularly related to home life, harmony, comfort, and understanding, dear Sagittarius. You are willing to see the beauty in imperfection. With expectations reasonable, this can be a good day for a bit of an escape from recent pressures. Activities, particularly at home or with family, that engage your imagination are favored now. You are also creative, and your artistic flair can show itself most in your domestic world. As well, a Mercury-Saturn sextile helps you tame your desires and think in practical terms, and you tend to be valued for your input or advice. You more happily meet deadlines and fulfill your responsibilities. An organized and patient attitude can get you far today. Capricorn  Capricorn A very imaginative, creative aspect occurs today, dear Capricorn, and also a decidedly practical one. The result is, ideally, a very balanced and productive day. In fact, it’s this kind of combination of vision and realism that gets results. The Venus-Neptune alignment encourages you to see the beauty in your daily environment and your connections. News coming in, or a conversation you have, can be inspiring, forgiving, or relieving. You thrive when your imagination is engaged today, and you can thoroughly enjoy helping others or sharing ideas now. Even so, the Mercury-Saturn aspect enables you to concentrate and focus on practical details if needed. Aquarius  Aquarius Each year, Venus aligns with Neptune, dear Aquarius, inspiring a new beginning of sorts related to the world of your feelings, sentiments, relationships, and values as they relate to your higher, spiritual, imaginative needs, ideals, and principles. Since this yearly alignment has been happening in your resources sector for the past five to six years, this likely has to do with your relationship to your things, resources, talents, and sense of self-worth. Today, you may be feeling especially inspired and ready to start fresh, and this can have to do with increased faith in yourself and your natural talents. There is also a highly practical transit influencing the day, and it’s constructive for sorting your thoughts and personal environment so that you feel less overwhelmed, caged in, or cluttered. Mercury in your sign harmonizes with Saturn, and this favors practical thinking and gaining respect for your ideas or input. Pisces  Pisces Neptune, your ruler, has been transiting your sign for some years now, dear Pisces, and each year, Venus meets up with Neptune in Pisces, as is the case today. Others are most certainly drawn to you now. This is an excellent time to make a first impression or to get noticed. You have much in the way of quiet and subtle power right now, but do be careful how you use this, as there can be a tendency to play into others’ fantasies. This is a strong time for romance, attraction, and the creative arts. While all of these things apply, another influence holding sway over the day is a decidedly practical one – Mercury and Saturn harmonize now, making it easier than usual to organize and sort through details, plans, and ideas, and considering what is feasible. * Remember to read horoscopes for your Ascendant sign and Sun sign. If you don’t know your Ascendant sign (and you know your birth time), you can look it up here. Above are astrological event highlights for the day. Full Horoscopes are on Cafe Astrology. If Your Birthday is February 21st, If Today is Your Birthday full horoscope here. Astrology of Today – The Details: If you’re astrologically inclined and interested in the details of the Astrology of today, here are some of the factors considered in the forecasts (for the astrology of the week, see This Week in Astrology): Planet Color Key: The longer the bar, the slower the aspecting planet and the longer the duration of the planet’s transit.     Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 0:00 am Event: Moon in Taurus Description: The Moon in Taurus This is a time for settling in, establishing and maintaining routines, and consolidating existing projects. We are building and developing. We crave predictability, stability, and security. This time favors ongoing projects and activities more than new ones. Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 0:05 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Cpl Jun Description: Transiting Moon ContraParallel Transiting Juno Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 0:12 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sxt Mer Description: Transiting Moon Sextile Transiting Mercury Ideas flow freely. We express feelings with clarity and thoughts with sensitivity. An excellent time for cooperative projects. A good time for taking tests, writing, promoting, public speaking, and studying. Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 2:13 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Tri Sat Description: Transiting Moon Trine Transiting Saturn An auspicious time for any project demanding endurance or tolerance. Also good for establishing new habits and rituals. Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 2:53 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqr Cer Description: Transiting Moon Square Transiting Ceres There can be conflicts with loved ones, or we could be feeling unsupported. People could seem insensitive or uncaring, or our own needs seem to be at odds with the needs of family and friends. Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 5:30 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Pll Ura Description: Transiting Moon Parallel Transiting Uranus Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 11:18 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon SSq Chi Description: Transiting Moon SemiSquare Transiting Chiron Hurt feelings may be opportunities for healing. Now is the time for building bridges, not burning them. Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 11:30 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Cpl Sun Description: Transiting Moon ContraParallel Transiting Sun Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 11:31 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Cnj Pal Description: Transiting Moon Conjunction Transiting Pallas This is a time of imagination and intuition, when we can draw upon our internal wisdom. There is a good ability to successfully combine logic and intuition, and to understand problems taking into account the human element. There is sensitivity to people’s issues now. Cooperation. Effective, sensitive decision making. Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 1:10 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Cpl Mer Description: Transiting Moon ContraParallel Transiting Mercury Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 2:19 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sxt Nep Description: Transiting Moon Sextile Transiting Neptune This is a feel-good time if we allow ourselves to relax and tune into the subtle aspects of life – art, nature, beauty, dreams, and spiritual realms. We absorb things easily, our senses are in good form, and we more naturally accept things and people as they are. There is no need to look for definite answers right now. Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 2:22 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sxt Ven Description: Transiting Moon Sextile Transiting Venus We are less inhibited and more willing to indulge ourselves. Love and romance can be favorable. Decorating, beauty treatments, the arts, creative pursuits, parties, dates, and recreation are generally favored now. Smile, laugh, and enjoy! Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 4:34 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqr Nod Description: Transiting Moon Square Transiting North Node This is the trigger for out with the old and in with the new. We could feel at odds with others on an emotional level. Public relations are not as favorable now. Plans could need reworking. We could feel temporarily out of the loop. Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 6:49 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Qnx Mar Description: Transiting Moon Quincunx Transiting Mars There can be tension and feelings of restlessness or impatience, as what we want to do may not feel perfectly right, or we may be lacking the courage. Avoid taking it out on the wrong things or people. Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 8:08 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Qnx Ves Description: Transiting Moon Quincunx Transiting Vesta Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 3:23 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mer Sxt Sat Description: Transiting Mercury Sextile Transiting Saturn Rational and logical thinking. Concentration and focus. Organization. Serious communication. Agreeable solitude. Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 6:12 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mer Qnx Cer Description: Transiting Mercury Quincunx Transiting Ceres We may be trying to get our feelings across, or attempting to explain how we feel, but we have difficulty doing so. Disagreements or misunderstandings are possible, as it is difficult to understand people’s intentions. There may be stress or extra activity in the household. Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 1:41 pm Event: Tr-Tr Ven Cnj Nep Description: Transiting Venus Conjunction Transiting Neptune Feel the need to escape to a romantic island getaway? Follow the urge even if it is limited to a luxurious bath or a trip to the local beach. Date & Time: 21 Feb 2018 4:04 am Event: Tr-Tr Chi SSq Pal Description: Transiting Chiron SemiSquare Transiting Pallas There can be difficulty getting our message across or winning support for our ideas. Strong Signs, Elements, Modes BALANCE OF SIGNS TAURUS STRONG Stable and enduring, strong values, unyielding, earthy, acquisitive, strong desires. Can be stuck, stubborn, overly possessive, self-indulgent. PISCES STRONG Compassionate, sensitive, self-sacrificing, gentle, intuitive. Can be escapist, impractical, hyper- sensitive, gullible. BALANCE OF ELEMENTS AIR WEAK We may have a difficult time being objective or detached. We may not be especially communicative. WATER STRONG We are more compassionate, emotional, and intuitive than usual, and we may react emotionally to situations, possibly at the expense of logic or practicality. BALANCE OF MODES MUTABLE STRONG We are flexible, adaptable, willing, open to change, and possibly flighty or nervous. LUNAR PHASE: CRESCENT Moon 45 to 90 degrees ahead of the Sun. This is an eager, impulsive, and progressive time. We are motivated and ready to take on challenges. The following aspects (major only) and positions are at noon (EST) on February 21st: Note that when an aspect is applying, it has not yet happened but is within orb – it’s pending. When an aspect is separating, it has already happened/perfected and is moving away from the aspect. Depending on the speed of the planet/body involved, the aspect will have perfected–or will perfect–in a matter of hours (often the case with the Moon), days, months, and possibly years in the case of the very slow-moving outer planets and bodies. Note that the Moon moves at a rate of approximately one degree every 2 hours so that if an aspect involving the Moon is applying and has an orb of 5 degrees, the aspect will perfect (be exact) in about 10 hours. If the Moon is separating from an aspect with an orb of 2 degrees, it has already formed said aspect approximately 4 hours ago (since the following are positions at noon today, then it would have occurred at about 8 AM today). **I suggest paying close attention to applying aspects. The energy of the aspect builds as it gets closer to exact. Once an aspect involving inner planets has happened, it’s over. Separating aspects are good to know for context, but in terms of energy that is with us today, applying aspects are most important. (This is the case for daily astrology influences involving inner planets, which pass quickly, and not natal astrology aspects, which are with us for a lifetime). THE MOON THE MOON IN TAURUS This is a time for settling in, establishing and maintaining routines, and consolidating existing projects. We are building and developing. We crave predictability, stability, and security. This time favors ongoing projects and activities more than new ones. 13TH DEGREE OF TAURUS Part of Body: Cervical and brachial plexi Sabian Symbol: A man handling baggage. ASPECTS OF THE MOON SEXTILE VENUS Orb 1°13′ Applying We are cooperative, obliging, and kind under this influence. We are more inclined to express our appreciation or affection. TRINE SATURN Orb 5°27′ Separating We are more able to find a balance between our own emotional needs and our responsibilities. This is a strong time for establishing good habits. We are more tolerant, deliberate, and resolute. SEXTILE NEPTUNE Orb 1°18′ Applying This is a feel-good time if we allow ourselves to relax and tune into the subtle aspects of life – art, nature, beauty, dreams, and spiritual realms. We absorb things easily, our senses are in good form, and we more naturally accept things and people as they are. There is no need to look for definite answers right now. THE SUN THE SUN IN PISCES You are an imaginative and serene individual. You need to express your fantasies and imagination, and may be a dreamer or be ungrounded. 4TH DEGREE OF PISCES Part of Body: Nerves of left foot Sabian Symbol: Heavy traffic on a narrow isthmus linking two seaside resorts. ASPECTS OF THE SUN CONJUNCTION MERCURY Orb 3°29′ Separating Thoughts and communications about ourselves and our goals. We are expressing ourselves confidently, directly, and clearly. SEXTILE SATURN Orb 3°44′ Applying We are taking pride in our responsibilities or performance. This can be a time of steady progress and increased self-discipline. We are more inclined to humble ourselves to authority or good advice, and tend to employ traditional methods. MERCURY MERCURY IN PISCES You are highly intuitive with a good imagination. You have the ability to tune into other people’s thoughts. You may have difficulty distinguishing reality from fantasy. You may experience periods where you seem to disappear into a dream world before being jolted back to reality. 7TH DEGREE OF PISCES Part of Body: Right talus Sabian Symbol: A cross lying on rocks. ASPECTS OF MERCURY CONJUNCTION VENUS Orb 6°56′ Applying We are more agreeable, sociable, and focused on balance and harmony. Conversations flow nicely. SEXTILE SATURN Orb 0°15′ Applying We are seeing our priorirites, taking things seriously, and applying ourselves to important matters. We are drawn to activities that are purposeful and practical. We can be conservative and cautious with our methods, opinions, learning, believing, and communicating. Thoroughness. CONJUNCTION NEPTUNE Orb 7°01′ Applying You have an imaginative mind, although at times you speak in a vague fashion. You are sensitive to the thoughts and ideas of other people. You are creative. VENUS VENUS IN PISCES You yearn to merge and be at-one with your partner. In fact you want to be at-one with the universe. You also enjoy sharing inspirational activities with your partner, ranging from listening to beautiful music to visiting an art gallery. 14TH DEGREE OF PISCES Part of Body: Right cutaneous veins Sabian Symbol: A lady in fox fur. ASPECTS OF VENUS SQUARE MARS Orb 2°28′ Applying You may have some difficulty being patient with loved ones. You can be aggressive and irritable when others fail to keep up with your activities. You can be equally impatient with yourself. CONJUNCTION NEPTUNE Orb 0°05′ Applying You yearn for romance within your personal relationships. You are seeking an ideal and perfect partner, who only exists in fairy tales. You become disillusioned with the imperfections of relationships and seek solace in a fantasy world. You need to face the realities and imperfections of yourself and others. Then you will be able to share beauty, art and creative pursuits with your partners. MARS MARS IN SAGITTARIUS You are an inspirational leader, and have a strong desire for exploration and adventure. You may be one-pointed in your desires. 16TH DEGREE OF SAGITTARIUS Part of Body: Left iliac vein Sabian Symbol: Sea gulls watching a ship. ASPECTS OF MARS SQUARE NEPTUNE Orb 2°23′ Separating This is a time for resting, escaping, or taking a break as we reconsider our needs. We might temporarily lose focus or direction. JUPITER JUPITER IN SCORPIO You are on an intense search for the truth. You have strong desires for sexual union and joint enterprises. You could be a transformative teacher. 23RD DEGREE OF SCORPIO Part of Body: Nasal bone, fimbria of Fallopian tubes Sabian Symbol: A bunny metamorphosed into a fairy. ASPECTS OF JUPITER SEXTILE PLUTO Orb 2°24′ Separating You have a chance to achieve a great deal. Your knowledge is broad as you are interested in so many things. You may make a career in the occult or studying the deepest mysteries of life. TRINE CHIRON Orb 3°58′ Separating You have the gift of wisdom. You trust your own intuitive nature, and are able to teach others on the spiritual path. You are able to encompass other people’s personal philosophies without feeling threatened, so that others trust you with their spiritual problems. SATURN SATURN IN CAPRICORN Conservation, moderation, definition, structure, simplicity, and realism are themes now. We might also be striving for more authority in a particular area of our lives now. This is a time for making clear choices and decisions, for weeding out what isn’t working for us, and for letting go of lost causes, particularly related to our life path choices, careers, and long-term goals. (from December 19, 2017, to March 21, 2020; and then from July 1 to December 17, 2020). 7TH DEGREE OF CAPRICORN Part of Body: Left adductor muscle Sabian Symbol: A veiled prophet of power. URANUS URANUS IN ARIES The urge to start fresh, to break free from restrictive attitudes or circumstances, to totally redesign an area of our lives (or even our personalities), and to gain freedom through independence is strong during this cycle. (May 27, 2010, to August 13, 2010, then March 11th, 2011, to May 15, 2018, then November 6, 2018, to March 6, 2019). 26TH DEGREE OF ARIES Part of Body: Skull Sabian Symbol: A man possessed of more gifts than he can hold. NEPTUNE NEPTUNE IN PISCES A long-term influence in which fantasy, imagination, compassion, and spirituality are in stronger focus. (April 4, 2011, to August 4, 2011, then February 3, 2012, to March 30, 2025, then October 22, 2025, to January 26, 2026) 14TH DEGREE OF PISCES Part of Body: Right cutaneous veins Sabian Symbol: A lady in fox fur. PLUTO PLUTO IN CAPRICORN Tests of our boundaries; breaking down and rebuilding structures and rules. (From January 25, 2008, to June 14, 2008, then November 26, 2008, to March 23, 2023, then June 11, 2023, to January 20, 2024, then September 1, 2024, to November 19, 2024). 21ST DEGREE OF CAPRICORN Part of Body: Tendons of left knee Sabian Symbol: A relay race. Chiron, Major Asteroids, and Moon’s Nodes: in Sign and in Aspect CHIRON CHIRON IN PISCES Strong awareness of our own vulnerabilities and humanity stimulates compassion for others. (April 20 to July 20, 2010, then February 8, 2011, to April 17, 2018, then September 25, 2018, to February 18, 2019). 27TH DEGREE OF PISCES Part of Body: Phalanges of right foot Sabian Symbol: A harvest moon. VESTA VESTA IN SAGITTARIUS You have the ability to work relentlessly for a cause in which you believe. You need to make sure you do not exclude other people’s points of view. You have visions and enjoy the adventure of discovery in your work. 17TH DEGREE OF SAGITTARIUS Part of Body: Sciatic nerve Sabian Symbol: An easter sunrise service. PALLAS PALLAS IN TAURUS You have the ability to see the beauty in nature and the arts. You have much common sense and wisdom. You may become involved in either healing with your hands, or healing the earth through environmental movements. 12TH DEGREE OF TAURUS Part of Body: Cervical and brachial plexi Sabian Symbol: A young couple walk down main-street, window-shopping. JUNO JUNO IN AQUARIUS You want the freedom to be your own person in your relationship. If this is not available you become rebellious and unreliable. You are unlikely to be comfortable in a traditional relationship. 30TH DEGREE OF AQUARIUS Part of Body: Connections in lower leg Sabian Symbol: Moon-lit fields, once babylon, are blooming white. CERES CERES IN LEO You feel cared for when other people play with you and praise you. You like to show others you care for them by encouraging their creative talents and sense of fun. 8TH DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Inferior vena cava Sabian Symbol: A bolshevik propagandist. THE NORTH NODE THE NORTH NODE IN LEO This a quest to develop your inner strength. You may find that you experience times of loneliness. These times are part of your lesson to forge your own creative life in order to give generously to the world. 15TH DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Right atrium Sabian Symbol: A street pageant. THE SOUTH NODE THE SOUTH NODE IN AQUARIUS This a quest to develop your inner strength. You may find that you experience times of loneliness. These times are part of your lesson to forge your own creative life in order to give generously to the world. 15TH DEGREE OF AQUARIUS Part of Body: Lymph vessels of right lower leg Sabian Symbol: Two lovebirds sitting on a fence. **Conjunctions to Select Fixed Stars on February 21, 2018** Aspects to Mer 06°Pi29 -10°43′ Cnj 05°Pi33 DENEB ADIGE Artistic, strong will. Aspects to Nod 14°Le48 +16°23′ Cnj 15°Le27 DUBHE Loving but forceful SHARE THIS: EmailFacebookTwitterTumblrGoogleReddit Filed Under: Daily Astrology, Today Tagged With: February 21, Mercury Saturn transit, Mercury sextile Saturn, Venus conjunct Neptune, Venus Neptune transit  « Astrology of Today – Tuesday, February 20, 2018Astrology of Today – Thursday, February 22, 2018 » Leave a Reply   Search this website … Search Cafe Astrology Cafe Astrology Home Cafe Astrology Free Reports Recent Astrology of Today – Friday, February 23, 2018 Astrology of Today – Thursday, February 22, 2018 Astrology of Today – Wednesday, February 21, 2018 Astrology of Today – Tuesday, February 20, 2018 Astrology of Today – Monday, February 19, 2018 In this post First Quarter Moon‌ The Moon is waxing‌ Tags Jupiter Neptune transit Mars-Pluto transit Mars Ceres transit Mars Chiron transit Mars Jupiter transit Mars Neptune transit Mars Pluto transit Mars Saturn transit Mars Uranus transit Mercury Chiron transit Mercury Jupiter transit Mercury Mars transit Mercury Neptune transit Mercury Pluto transit Mercury Saturn transit Mercury semi-square Venus Mercury square Mars Mercury square Neptune Mercury square Pluto Mercury square Uranus Mercury Uranus transit Mercury Venus transit Sun Chiron transit Sun conjunct Mercury Sun Jupiter transit Sun Mars transit Sun Mercury transit Sun Neptune transit Sun Pluto transit Sun Saturn transit Sun sextile Jupiter Sun sextile Saturn Sun square Neptune Sun Uranus transit Venus-Mars transit Venus Chiron transit Venus Jupiter transit Venus Mars transit Venus Neptune transit Venus Pluto transit Venus Saturn transit Venus sextile Uranus Venus square Saturn Venus square Uranus Venus Uranus transit  Previous  Subscribe via Email Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts by email. Email Address Email Address Subscribe Current Planetary Positions 2/21/2018 7:31:41 PM Sun 03° Pisces 27' 15" Moon 18° Taurus 11' 03" Mercury 07° Pisces 19' 00" Venus 13° Pisces 59' 04" Mars 16° Sagittarius 10' 15" Jupiter 22° Scorpio 52' 16" Saturn 06° Capricorn 47' 07" Uranus 25° Aries 37' 55" Neptune 13° Pisces 32' 18" Pluto 20° Capricorn 26' 44" Chiron 26° Pisces 51' 06" TrueNode 14° Leo 48' 08" R Subscribe to Blog via Email Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Email Address Email Address Subscribe Categories  Archives  February 2018 M T W T F S S « Jan 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 Copyright © 2018 · Astrology Cafe by Cafe Astrology

[crizzhie]

12 Reasons Why You Are Not In A Relationship Yet

I personally asked the question 'Why am I not in a relationship yet?' to myself a lot of times. I admit, I envy those who are in a relationship. I've always been dreaming of having someone who will carry my bag, send me good mornings and good nights, receive flowers & chocolates, be in a movie date - enough! This will gonna be long if I'll mention all immature wish I wanted. Relationship is more than that. It's not always having that sweet moments but helping each other grow.

Well, that's not the point of the topic I'm going to talk about. So, why are we not in a relationship yet? Why am I not in a relationship yet? My answers for this question are based on the common answers of other people. Let's take a look, which among those reasons is/are your reason/s?

1. I'm busy, I don't have time for it

This is the reason of people who are very career oriented. They value safe and security higher than love. Well, that sounds logical since on Maslow's hierarchy of needs safe and security comes first before love. These people are driven by the motivation to excel in their position or to hit the mark for them to be recognize. However, they might be driven by intrinsic needs too - to help others first before themselves.

2. Studies First

All I could think of this reason is my younger sister. This reason is usually stated by someone who is competitive in his/her studies. I have to clarify that not all competitive students are not in a relationship others might be into it. Maybe, people who often say this reason is responsible for he/ she wants to consider the hardwork and labors of his/ her parents for him/her. Or, those who know their priorities as they lay their goals one at a time.

3. I want my first to be my last

I have to admit this was my reason before. I think, it's a bit unrealistic to think this way but I'm not saying it's impossible. Well, if you gonna think about it lots of people now are in a relationship and have already broken up. So what I've been thinking is, only few will be lucky to have their first as their last. I know you might be familiar with this quote 'I don't care if I'm not the first as long as I'm your last' (I actually paraphrased it ✌) Well, I wish luck to whoever has this reason.

4. I'm afraid to be rejected or hurt

Who haven't been in to love that didn't experience to be hurt? No one right? Let's be realistic here. Hurt and Rejection is inevitable in love. That's why love conquers all. It conquers fear, hatred, rejection etc. If this is your reason I tell you now that you will never be in a relationship if you are afraid to be rejected and hurt. First thing you have to do is to accept that these things might happen and when it does you'll still be okay (maybe after a week, a month, a year... it doesn't matter.What matter most is that you'll be okay no matter how long it will take.)

5. I don't think someone likes me or will ever like me

The pessimistic person's reason. I've always think of myself like this also. That nobody will ever like me because i'm just nothing but a piece of trash anybody wouldn't want to have. To those who think this way, i think it's very important to establish your self-worth first because you first have to love yourself - accepting your flaws and weaknesses. Once, you have established your self-worth you wont care if someone does not like you because the love you are looking for is not based on them but based on God and yourself.

6. I have strict parents

This is one of my friend's reason. She has been controlled by her parents on every decision she takes. It's like she cant even fight for the love she wanted. It's very unhealthy. People with tight parent-control will likely end up as rebellious or disobedient. That's not the solution for this problem. I advise you to talk to your parents or whoever that person is.

7. I'm still on the process of making myself deserving

These are the people who are preparing themselves to be the "Right One for the Right Man". As early as now, they train themselves to be a total package person for that 'someone'. They are the productive type of people in time of waiting. Instead of waiting passively, they're waiting actively. That should what it should be!

8. My feelings for that person is not reciprocated

This might be the reason of someone who was turned down or dumped by someone who he/ she likes. Well, I personally have experienced this as well. I kept on asking myself Am I not enough? What wrong with me? Is there something I lack of? But, the truth is, there's none! It's not really you it's them. Maybe, their eyes are already pinned on somebody else. Cheer up! perhaps, God is saving you from the hands of the wrong person.

9. I have a high standards

It's ok to have high standards as long as you are deserving for the standards you have set. It's like, you want someone who has a good job but you dont even have a job. That's ironic and quite crazy! The standards you have set must be seen in you too. You can't expect something good if you are not good enough for it. But then again I don't reject the concept of fate or luck here.

10. I'm waiting for the right one

Indeed, there is a season for everything. Those who are waiting should also know the season if they dont they might end up waiting and waiting because they have already missed the season. The season I am talking here is the season of love. Other people end up single at an old age because they've missed the perfect season of looking for the right person. That's why it's important to ask God's guidance for this. While others missed the right person because they were too early for the season that's why they ended up to somebody else.

11. I'm totally fine to be single

This might be the reason of those who are enjoying their singleness. I won't say that this is just a waste of time. Actually, this is a good time to spend for your family and friends. Because you won't be having as much time as you have now compared when you are in a relationship already.

12. I'm not yet ready

When are you gonna be ready? I think readiness is not a state of being complete/completeness. Though I accept the fact from one of the psychology theories stated that love requires you to be complete not to look for someone in order to be complete. But, the completeness I'm talking here is to be "completely ready".The notion, 'When I'm already perfect or almost perfect then I'm gonna be ready' - that's wrong because readiness is not based on perfection. Even how much prepared you are for a relationship that would come, you will never be completely prepared for it because there are always things and lessons that you will learn only when you are in a relationship.

So, that's it! Those are the 12 reasons why you are not yet in a relationship. I know that there are still more reasons I haven't yet mentioned here. But, i hope you enjoyed this article.

I want to leave this to you; 'while you are still waiting for that relationship to come, pray to God that He is also in total control on the life of the right person for you. For everything that comes from God is the best!'

[personalcoachingcenter]

6 Negative Effects of Social Media On Your Health

New Post has been published on http://personalcoachingcenter.com/6-negative-effects-of-social-media-on-your-health/

6 Negative Effects of Social Media On Your Health

The use of social networking sites has become increasingly popular in the past few years. Social media has now become an important part of everyone’s life. It is something which is influencing our daily lives, and it has become extremely important for everyone (including brands, businesses, celebrities, and audiences) to have an online presence in the social media world.

Many of us are using social media as a regular means of communication. No matter what activities we do for the whole day. We make sure to check our Facebook and stay updated on Instagram.

In today’s globalizing society, social media is a part of our daily routine. Is it just a routine or is social media eating up our lives?

Social media is a boon as it has become easier to connect with people and industries overseas. But it is important to understand that this virtual world of networking is also a bit of a trap which is dominating our lives. Social media is consuming our lives and can be detrimental and damaging to our mental health.

Studies have shown that the excessive consumption of social media can have long-lasting effects on our mental health. According to various studies, the prolonged use of social media is linked with the symptoms of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem in teenagers and adolescents. It can also affect our sleep quality and hyperactivity.

Health experts also say that sitting in front of social media is the new age version of smoking. The effects of social media can be pretty damaging which is not good for our mental well-being.

Social media is a benefit for all those who struggled with socializing and communicating face-to-face. However, there are many people who are struggling with trolls, toxic comparisons, and cyberbullying because of the use of social media.

People of all ages are using social networking sites these days, and it is important to know how social media can have a negative influence on our mental health. Following are the ways in which social media could negatively affect your mental health.

1. Internet addiction disorder

Are you always on your phone checking updates on Facebook and Instagram? Are you excessively consuming social media? If your answer is yes, you may be suffering from Internet Addiction Disorder or IAD.

You may also be suffering from IAD if you play a lot of video games on the Internet or shop online always. However, social networking sites are one of the major reasons for people suffering from IAD.

Social networking sites get the users “hooked” which is interfering with their daily lives – relationships, work, and personal lives. Because of their addictive behavior, people might neglect their personal life. The over-dependence on social media can affect people from a psychological perspective and would affect negatively.

2. Decreased self-esteem

The use of social media has a major impact on our self-esteem. It can make an individual self-conscious and insecure. When we spend a lot of time online on social media, we tend to make comparisons which decrease our self-esteem and our confidence levels. Studies in the past have shown that self-esteem has an impact on our overall well-being and has a direct relationship with our overall health.

Constant exposure to social media can negatively affect our minds because many-a-times people take social media way too seriously and get trapped by the unrealistic standards set by social media. Seeking validation in terms of likes and followers, making comparisons with fellow people will tend to lower self-esteem which will further lead to symptoms of depression and anxiety.

3. Anxiety and Depression

The excessive use of social media could be a big cause for mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression. Studies have shown the people who use multiple social media accounts are at higher risks of problems such as anxiety and depression.

Cyberbullying is on the rise, and prolonged bullying on social media can lead to suicidal thoughts, anxiety disorders, and depression.

4. Making comparisons with other’s lives is mentally unhealthy

No matter what medium it is, the spiral of silence happens all the time wherein a few people isolate themselves and never express their thoughts. A lot of people feel socially isolated and tend to silence their thoughts because they start comparing themselves with avid users of social media.

Social media promotes social comparison, and it is important to know that comparison is bad as well as a dangerous habit. Comparing ourselves with others will only take our job and lead to more insecurities and agony. Comparing can lead to feelings of loneliness, unhappiness, and depression.

5. Lesser Human connection

Social interaction is critically important for good mental health. But with the coming of social media, we’re glued to our mobile screens and desktops and have less face-to-face interaction.

Having more friends and followers on social media doesn’t mean that you have a better social life. It is important to have personal and realistic connections than engaging online on social media.

6. Sleep deprivation and FOMO

Social media is linked to increasing sleep deprivation and using social media even for a couple of hours can have adverse effects on your sleep.

The excessive use of social media can also lead to FOMO (fear of missing out), a type of social anxiety. FOMO is dangerous and can cause stress and can also decrease your ability to concentrate on other things.

Social media is beneficial, but it is important to balance your social life with real-life relationships.

Source, N;

[personalcoachingcenter]

6 Negative Effects of Social Media On Your Health - FinerMinds

New Post has been published on https://personalcoachingcenter.com/6-negative-effects-of-social-media-on-your-health-finerminds/

6 Negative Effects of Social Media On Your Health - FinerMinds

The use of social networking sites has become increasingly popular in the past few years. Social media has now become an important part of everyone’s life. It is something which is influencing our daily lives, and it has become extremely important for everyone (including brands, businesses, celebrities, and audiences) to have an online presence in the social media world.

Many of us are using social media as a regular means of communication. No matter what activities we do for the whole day. We make sure to check our Facebook and stay updated on Instagram.

In today’s globalizing society, social media is a part of our daily routine. Is it just a routine or is social media eating up our lives?

Social media is a boon as it has become easier to connect with people and industries overseas. But it is important to understand that this virtual world of networking is also a bit of a trap which is dominating our lives. Social media is consuming our lives and can be detrimental and damaging to our mental health.

Studies have shown that the excessive consumption of social media can have long-lasting effects on our mental health. According to various studies, the prolonged use of social media is linked with the symptoms of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem in teenagers and adolescents. It can also affect our sleep quality and hyperactivity.

Health experts also say that sitting in front of social media is the new age version of smoking. The effects of social media can be pretty damaging which is not good for our mental well-being.

Social media is a benefit for all those who struggled with socializing and communicating face-to-face. However, there are many people who are struggling with trolls, toxic comparisons, and cyberbullying because of the use of social media.

People of all ages are using social networking sites these days, and it is important to know how social media can have a negative influence on our mental health. Following are the ways in which social media could negatively affect your mental health.

1. Internet addiction disorder

Are you always on your phone checking updates on Facebook and Instagram? Are you excessively consuming social media? If your answer is yes, you may be suffering from Internet Addiction Disorder or IAD.

You may also be suffering from IAD if you play a lot of video games on the Internet or shop online always. However, social networking sites are one of the major reasons for people suffering from IAD.

Social networking sites get the users “hooked” which is interfering with their daily lives – relationships, work, and personal lives. Because of their addictive behavior, people might neglect their personal life. The over-dependence on social media can affect people from a psychological perspective and would affect negatively.

2. Decreased self-esteem

The use of social media has a major impact on our self-esteem. It can make an individual self-conscious and insecure. When we spend a lot of time online on social media, we tend to make comparisons which decrease our self-esteem and our confidence levels. Studies in the past have shown that self-esteem has an impact on our overall well-being and has a direct relationship with our overall health.

Constant exposure to social media can negatively affect our minds because many-a-times people take social media way too seriously and get trapped by the unrealistic standards set by social media. Seeking validation in terms of likes and followers, making comparisons with fellow people will tend to lower self-esteem which will further lead to symptoms of depression and anxiety.

3. Anxiety and Depression

The excessive use of social media could be a big cause for mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression. Studies have shown the people who use multiple social media accounts are at higher risks of problems such as anxiety and depression.

Cyberbullying is on the rise, and prolonged bullying on social media can lead to suicidal thoughts, anxiety disorders, and depression.

4. Making comparisons with other’s lives is mentally unhealthy

No matter what medium it is, the spiral of silence happens all the time wherein a few people isolate themselves and never express their thoughts. A lot of people feel socially isolated and tend to silence their thoughts because they start comparing themselves with avid users of social media.

Social media promotes social comparison, and it is important to know that comparison is bad as well as a dangerous habit. Comparing ourselves with others will only take our job and lead to more insecurities and agony. Comparing can lead to feelings of loneliness, unhappiness, and depression.

5. Lesser Human connection

Social interaction is critically important for good mental health. But with the coming of social media, we’re glued to our mobile screens and desktops and have less face-to-face interaction.

Having more friends and followers on social media doesn’t mean that you have a better social life. It is important to have personal and realistic connections than engaging online on social media.

6. Sleep deprivation and FOMO

Social media is linked to increasing sleep deprivation and using social media even for a couple of hours can have adverse effects on your sleep.

The excessive use of social media can also lead to FOMO (fear of missing out), a type of social anxiety. FOMO is dangerous and can cause stress and can also decrease your ability to concentrate on other things.

Social media is beneficial, but it is important to balance your social life with real-life relationships.

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