#a lot of the great stuff i have going on rn
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hmmm need more ships for hope 🤔
#[ ooc. ]#a lot of the great stuff i have going on rn#is with family or older/mentor types#which is FANTASTIC don't get me wrong#but girlie wants to be wooed#so she can begrudgingly roll her eyes and accept the affection
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My comic is so pretty...
The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!
#almost done with my 8th episode... which will give me. two weeks. of buffer...#id really like at LEAST a month... but to be more comfortable id like two#which means 2-6 more episodes before I come back!#I've got about 7 weeks so its possible. but i do still have to finish book 4#so much to do ..........#I decided for my next comic im doing 3 updates a month.#having 10 days instead of 7 to make an episode is such a huge huge huge difference...#difference in quality and in my health!#anyways the comic is really pretty im really happy with the work im doing rn#the environments especially. im getting to spend a nice amount of time on them and theyre turning out so nicely#its nice to be able to write with a lot of different environments and not have to redo panels when I get to them cause of time#cause every time theres a wild angle? you need a new background...#so sometimes. often actually. there just isnt the time to make the backgrounds for those and i have to make them more flat...#which is fine. it doesnt really affect anything narratively. but. idk. it's kinda sad right?#anyways yeah! 10 days will be much better.#36 episodes a year is about what ive been uploading with my hiatuses on the weekly schedule anyways!#so might as well cut out that super stressful middleman and just commit to that#52 a year is just such a huge difference and i have to accept its not possible to me#i will hurt myself trying to do that. and i want to make comics my whole life!#so i cant push myself that hard now and sacrifice my future. we're gonna go slower after this...#anyways yeah cant wait to come back but also time. if I could get an extra week like a secret one just for me#where theres no chores no nothin just me and my work#thatd be great! so go ahead and do what you gotta do to give me a little pocket dimension#me: ugh i want to return right now...#the more logical me: NO we need the time to finish everything!!!!!! NOT right now!!!!#time and time again#ttawebcomic#comic panels#hiatus stuff#adam and steve
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recent sketches
hhhello been inactive for a while so have some sketches i've done recently XP
changed the way i draw the little guy
a friend had this hc that during chapter 27 edgar wasn't really taking care of himself so his hair got longer . then zarla confirmed it
thing i banged in like 30 minutes instead of going to sleep . this is from @metamorphmigus and @cherry-207's au , btw
lolol that's literally all idk why i thought i had more things
#vargas#edgar vargas#vargas zarla#scriabin vargas#scriabin#zarla s#sunny's art#skybound serenade#uh um#i don't have anything interesting going on in my life rn tbh#just that i'm currently working on a collab XP#and i'm so super happy because well some stuff#i llllove this fandom#also mmm new sidefics#hair on end made me so sad and it doesn't even make any sense#it's mostly because i kin edgar a lot and i'm going through something similar but#overall great sidefic oouugghh#i'm trying so.hard not to explode right now i'm sorry idk what else to ssssay#ssssoo sso mcuh stuff going on i swearr i SWEAR#aside from that uh#again i'm having trouble getting myself to draw recently#need to wwork on the askblog but i also have some ideas i want to work on#nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn also i'm back to being absorbed by ai chat apps#well that's all . bye
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Hey, so for the Human Au, how do think Julie would go about her life? Considering her personality in the website, I would think that he takes up different part-time jobs, but mainly likes working at the community center, mainly for the summer/after school programs where they can come up with and host fun activities for the kids!
no yeah that's pretty much what i was thinking! she bounces from job to job - she probably has a roster of seasonal ones that she rotates between. Julie really does seem like an every-gal yk? doing just one thing all the time would be soooo boring
i like the idea of summer / after school programs a lot actually! since canon Julie is big on games and fun, i'm sure she'd be a great choice for those sorts of things. i bet she works a seasonal summer camp in their county!
#also it would be a cute frank-julie bestie thing#cause frank is a university professor#so then julie being in the education system as a camp counselor / school programs person whatever brains not braining rn#I Just Think It Would Be Sweet! and Fitting!#part of me wants to change Frank from university professor to like a uhhh elementary school teacher#but nah. but lets just say the local schools will have field trips and uh. idk a 'bug day'#yk how kindergartens and elementary schools would sometimes have a giant snake brought in or whatever#well i imagine that in this au frank keeps insects as 'pets'#(not pets as in companion animal but. he has a lot of arthropod tanks in his house lol)#so maybe a couple times a year he gets to interact with kids and julie's probably there too!#ohhhh maybe sometimes he'll go to the summer camp for like. education day or whatever#to talk about insects and animal safety or somethn#he's out there with a tarantula chilling on his head...#most of the kids are disinterested but one or two are so Intrigued and its. adorable. anyway this is about julie#rambles from the bog#wh modern human au#i like to think that both julie and barnaby have seasonal jobs at the county fair#it just lasts a few weeks but they have a good time! barnaby can put his clowning degree to Use!#but im having a great time picturing julie coming up with games and stuff and putting it to good use!#i bet she'd be great at finding compromises and solutions to those Schoolyard Problems yk#i said schoolyard problems and flashbacked to the multiple bad injuries at my elementary. & the seizure in hs...#hm. i saw a lot of serious shit. anyhow not the point#i bet julie is that one guy where whenever someone brings up an odd job she's like 'yeah ive done that'#slingin ice cream? catering? florist delivery? doughnut baker? budtender? running bingo night? Yes To It All!#i bet that in a way... howdy is jealous...
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80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.
#SORRY this is such a random thing to be posting about and I guess it's a vent post haha#I suppose I've just been feeling a lot of... dread and fear lately... especially in the late hours...#''Lately'' as in on and off for most of my life but *a lot* as of the past few months#Like#Oh it's weirdly embarrassing to talk about this here it's a tad personal uh **tw (discussions of) death#But do you ever just feel paralyzed by the knowledge that one day you'll be 40? Or 60? Or 80? If you're lucky!#I worry a lot about wasting my life#I worry a lot about dying an unpleasant death#Or a painful one#I suppose I've always been gerascophobic...#But finishing school and turning 23 and not having a job and having just a hard time with my physical health lately...#I haven't been great I guess#I just feel like time has been moving so quickly lately!!!#And I've been going nowhere.#:0 not to be too much of a bummer y'all I'm not like feeling horrible rn or anything but I do need to vent I think#Cause if not it just stays coiled up inside of me.#*gah* I should channel all of this energy into Glenn in my pirate fic lol#😌 he's insecure (in part) cause he feels old#🥲 ough and I don't feel amazing about that most recent chapter but I guess that's a whole new vent#working on some different stuff for a bit.#ANYWAYS#I hope whoever happens to be reading this is having a good night ✨️#oh or day if it's day for you lol
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wink blink look !!
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#sona#ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhgghhhh#am i RIGHT guys hfhvs#:33#//not many thoughts recently#not many thoughts for a while actually lol#must've talked myself weary! huh!#/let me try at this though - i feel like i have some little part of my brain that's all stopped up#it's been like that for a minute !#/ah but a question - do you ever stand by a bit of forest and hear what are distinctly Whispers ?#i know it's definitely the wind but it's fun to think it's anything else lol :>>#ghosts or fairies or the road down the hill for whatever reason#/oh and speaking of hearing i got a weird + shrill + loud tone in my ear the other day and it just didn't happen again#a sudden EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and then it stopped lmao#funky stuff man. wonder what's up with that hfhs#//anyway i'm working on my artfight references rn lol :)#i've finished one! what a miracle!! hfsh-#it looks a lot better than the one last year like Wow. don't think the same person made these you know what i mean hfh#//ah i've also started using padlet for realsies this time :>#it's a neat spot - it's gonna be great to just have the palettes i need on another device loll#that's the biggest problem i have on this planet! having to scroll my blog for palettes is not the most fun thing hfsh#/anyway gonna get back to it!!#i'm sort of tired but i Really wanna make kira and hid's this yearrr#they are very ~+~+~ <3 ~+~+~ to me lol :>>#so toodles ! here i go again hfhsv
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the amount I've been hoarding away some of the memes I've seen on the dash over the last week or so is so not okay for someone with as many drafts as me ashfjdh
#me: i want to focus on getting through all my drafts when i get some energy back#also me: but good & juicy memes........#I'm thinking I'm gonna lean more into doing whatever the hell pleases me once I get back to writing tbh#but I'm almost definitely throwing all the drafts into a paused queue that I won't start posting until they're all finished#will I reblog a meme or two to play with as I do that? probably. almost definitely.#fresh stuff always helps get my brain going again ahdjgsg#but know that drafts will be happening!!!! I did delete some stuff but like. not enough lmfao. I have too many great threads#that I can't bear to let go of and i've kinda accepted that at this point#sorry I'm so slow y'all pls know that me taking forever to get to shit has nothing to do with how much I'm enjoying our threads#the fact that I'm clinging to them despite wanting to start completely fresh & dump everything says a lot more about how much I love em all#anyway. may or may not write tonight? I'm going with the flow tonight & rn the flow is telling me to keep reading#I finished my reread of the second book in the millennium series last night (& stayed up way too late in order to do so ahdgksg)#& I've started my reread of the third today and I just. I can't stop. it's too good.#if I find the willpower to put it down at some point I might dabble in poking at smth but. if not perhaps tomorrow uvu#(also want to note I've been marking the books through my reread with pink page flags#whenever smth really smacks me in the face with how much byan was inspired in some way by lisbeth lmfao)#ANYWAY. love u guys!!! I'm lurking & hoping you're all doing well!!! 💜💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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i held a man’s hand today
#this has been in my drafts since the 10th so please forgive me on the late update i’ve been Busy ™️#it all started on the weekend FG dropped me off at my choir performance for school and i’d been running around all day so i was all 😵💫 tryi#to do everything in a timely manner and he was such a big help driving me around everywhere and stuff so sweet 🥰 and as i was outside the#theatre he was handing me something? i can’t even remember rn and he was like you’re going to do great all that good pep talk stuff and as i#was reaching for what he had in his hand i kinda just kept my hand there and he did too but i had to go so i just left and then he picked me#up after and that was that and then on sunday we we hanging out and i just went out and said it bc ya girl is no coward 😤 i said “i wanted#to do something yesterday’ and he said “’ok?’ and i was like i wanted to hold your hand and he asked why didn’t you? ‘bc i was nervy 😣’ and#then after some back and forth small joking he just took my hand and we held them in silence for a bit and i was explaining how im in my#head a lot and i’m really trying to not do that anymore esp with him and he was rubbing 👏🏾 my 👏🏾 hand 👏🏾 with 👏🏾 his 👏🏾 THUMB 👏🏾#LIKE ANSJDKKFKFKFKLLDJCNCNJDJENNXXJJD#you see normally that makes me reeeallllyyt ticklish but it was so soothing i could’ve fell asleep right then and there i promise you and he#was so gentle with his voice and omgoodness this man#so then i had to go and he was like yk you’re going to have to let go bc there’s no way im letting go 😭😳🙄 LIKE SIR#but ya that’s the latest update 🫣#mutuals my beloved <3#vk overshares in the tags#friendly giant ™️#fg
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owwwww
#libra.txt#today is going! not great!#i am so very tired and frustrated and i hate being in pain#and this is new pain! i don't like it!!!!!#i'm not even 23 how did i develop varicose veins!!!!!!#on the other hand did discover charles martinet will be at the con i'm going to next month so that's exciting#i'd like to get smth signed by him this time#but idk what........#i know they usually have generic posters and stuff you can get signed but like... i want smth Special#the main option rn would just be like. my case for smo?#idk if i have time to draw smth#and since smo is the only game i've actually played there aren't a lot of idea options#especially since i still REALLY need to work on my fi cosplay#and i haven't finished my data art for brent spiner (even though i'm thinking of just! starting over!!!)#which i don't wanna do#i'm tired and i hurt and i'm hanging on by a thread and i hate it!!!!#if i didn't have the pain in my hip things would be a lot easier. alas.#if anyone has art ideas feel free to send them my way
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i have so many feelings and i hate it
#and regrets of any time ive acted up or feel like in hindsight it wasnt cherishing the time i have w them as i shld be and#and things i want to do with them still and ways to love them and be loved and understand their way of loving and#i think we can be so good together and. i miss them. and i hope they miss me.#i really hope theyll miss me soon and want me again and . ik its maybe a little messed up but i want to believe and trust and#its hard and it hurts but. i really feel theres a great connection and if i need to chill out a bit and remember myself more thats fine#and on me for getting so like. moody recently. altho i kinda feel like part of that is med changes but u__u still i need to be able to like#be better and i think they make me better and so happy and. im so comfortable with them and i love them and i wld want to make it work#even if it had to be distance but i dont think i want to just be their friend like maybe but it would hurt a lot bc i love them so much#and i hope they wanna be with me too still and will allow me to romance them yknow flowers and adventures and love and take care and... yea#and maybe some of this was just them going thru a lot rn and im sorry for adding pressure to it and i want to be the comfortable respite an#auurgrgghfhdhdhhfhfdhh i miss them#i just keep thinking abt them like ill have periods of not but then i do again and. idk.#theres also a lot of complicated feelings and thoughts and its like i want to like. idk. know some of their friends n stuff n. :^( idk#i dont feel well from the stress and emotions and ow of it all#i really hope it isnt just a way for them to let me down i really hope they come back eventually like i wanna believe they will but#ourgsghthfhdhfhghghdhdhwkelftk4bfbhwiwjtjejAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#i love them a lot. and need to listen more abt more alone time stuff bc it is good for both of us but not like this u_u#ok sorry for rambling i needed somewhere to write feelings so here we are#i guess part of me is hoping theyre thinking abt me at least a bit and maybe will check this and see it and be like wow i do miss them too#but ik thats silly and eitth3u2ieigjtb4jirifjwji24jgntn aahhhhhhhhhhh. i say a lot of things wrong esp when scared or overly emotional and.#urgevshehrhtjrjeitjtnjeeitjtjwjeiigvjiw9384847rhfbwjoe4j4n4j289djrnrnf#i just really really hope they come back soonish and like want me and are like yes i do want you sorry for that but not a huge sorry bc#like i understand where theyre coming from and. and. yeah. idk. soon doesnt have to be today or tomorrow but maybe a week or 2 idk#i just realy miss them and it hurts and i really dont want them with someone else or to just throw it all away andni want to prove i can#like. idk. love them and be better and more positive i guess we've both been dealing w a lot of stuff and i do need to learn to accept and#more patient w how we communicate differently and we do have to face that but its a difficult topic to confront ig and aurh4hwhshhrlffff#i think they love me i want to trust and i really hope they dont try to make any decisions for me or like based on what they think best 4 m#bc i get to decide that :^(#when i said let down i meant like. leave my life and never talk to me again and stuff.. ;^(. idk how to feel abt some things but. idk. idk.#theres so many feelings and that all is just a pretty vague tip of the iceberg ugh
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...
#there should be a word for when youre talking around the tightness of tears#speaking against something that hurts#laughing specifically to undermine the seriousness of the statements youre voicing#the worst of both worlds. help me help me hahaha im not even joking hahaha but listen to the lies in my tone. dont focus on the words.#i want plausible deniability. but also i want u to understand my pain and give it a voice. speak it into existence because i cant say it#but if u do i might cry. that sounds hard that sounds like a lot. i kno i know. shut up. keep talking. do u think i dont feel it? i do#but if i split myself in two i can watch myself and suddenly it becomes funny. im not sure why. but i have a bad habbit of laughting at#inappropriate moments. because if its not funny then its just sad and what am i supposed to do with that?#i dunno. thats all to say my dad called bc i was looking at housing stuff and i was explaining some of the stuff im doing rn#and thats hard to talk abt without crying bc ive always been a cry bby but i didnt. and i love my parents theyre great#but they dont understand bc i havent told them all of it bc theres nothing they can do so y make them worry. and idk i also think they#think im less competent than i am. and part of that is just bc im their kid. part of that is bc there r things thst most ppl can do but i#struggle with. but its also not fun to hear: oh yeah i was surprised by how professional u sounded. or i think ur mom found u those#connections. when no. i did that. i made those things happen. i promise i can do things sometimes. but sometimes i cant. i dunno its just#it is what it is. whatever. decisions to b made. do i room with roommates for lower rent#or do i take an expensive place for a year for a single room? i dont want roommates but ill take them#i mean all the single places r like 950 at the very lowest without any utilities or anything but most r well over 1000 and like on a grad#student salary? i think not. not without losing money on net. i can deal with roommates. i have in the past. i wont b able to relax ever#but its fine. ya kno#just annoying. hah my dads sage advice was ah dont let it overwhelm u. go exercise. bc hes an endurance runner guy#and im like bro when i get home i have 1.5 hrs of daylight. but alas hes right. i do gotta run out my angers and its not enough#ugh. one more week. itll work out. and eventually ill walk into a counselors office like bro i just want u to tell me whether or not i have#0cd bc whatever the fuck it is that makes me do these things is absolutely destroying me. name the beast 0cd or 0cpd. tell me what box#i fit into. not that it matters but i feel like i cant complain until someone else rubber stamps me. actually then ill probably just obsess#abt how. actually. theyre wrong. ay fun times#i gotta shake shake shake my sillies out. and wiggle my waggles away. bc i never could let my kids songs go haha#unrelated
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Month 12, day 2
Got my furniture all rearranged and my new bed built, but unfortunately that left me zero brain juices for art, so I just dicked around in ProCreate Dreams for a bit. Have a burning House Fleuret manor, just because I spent two hours a few weeks ago manually taking in-game time lapse photos of it and by golly I'm gonna use them for something, it might as well be animation app testing!
#the great artscapade of 2023#art#my art#my animation#time lapse#ffxv#tenebrae#I have to keep sleeping on my old mattresses for a couple days while my fancy new memory foam mattress inflates itself#and also I don't have bedsheets for my new bed ): its a full and my old stuff is twin size#but!!!#I can get new bedsheets on Friday and I'm not above sleeping on a bare naked mattress when the 72 hour reinflation window is up#I'm hoping the ends poof up more rn it's all like ⌒#which is... a thing? I mean I have enough old pillows to make up for it but I spent like $200 on this mattress#which isn't a lot as far as mattresses go but I don't want to have to return it or anything#idk how I would! it was vacuum sealed!#but anyway yeah#sore achy and ACCOMPLISHED is me :3
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Honestly, knowing this event is (presumably) ending on my birthday is already the best gift I could ever get
#negative#from a viewer perspective it’s been a mixed bag#the lines between rp abd cc’s just goofing around feel really weird a lot of the time tho#which is more a me issue ig- idk- I still don’t know how I feel about this all and conflicts and stuff- I’ll have to wait and see#just rly wish it didn’t happen in the middle of so many big personal arcs#the streams have mostly been fun- cuz I the streamers are making it fun#from a fandom perspective it’s been hell and I want to go back to how things were before this badly-#not even in a ‘annoying fans’ way but a ‘wow everyone seems upset all the time’ way#anyone remember Halloween? Halloween was fun….#im just tired and nervous that this is gonna be a Doomsday level event where everything’s gonna be miserable for awhile fandom wise#but like……. I am The Worrier so- lol-#idk……. might try to force myself to take a break tomorrow- just not feeling it rn#can’t even like indulge in hyperfixes or pre-purgatory lore stuff cuz my brain feels weird/bad about it#( not anyone’s fault- my brain is just like that lol )#idk……….. maybe I’ll feel better after I get a full nights rest after tomorrow#vent#at least the fanart is great
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sc says 6 yrs ago I was doing dabs and drinking margaritas w my ex best friend and my ex partner and now I'm uh. laying here. miss that
#avery.txt#like yuh that was in my smoke weed everyday era so obvs i wasnt exactly putting my heart into my schoolwork#but like. uuuuuuuuuuuugh i miss 1) that ex 🥲 2) having a dab rig 3) not having a lot of responsibilities#now im like. an adult and ive gone thru so much and i am happier now but im also world weary#so im like just. god kid i wish i could go back and tell you how to do it all differently#but also if i did that maybe i wouldnt be here rn#and minus the unemployableness and chronic procrastination im doing pretty great!! i write so much!!#im having so much fun with just. LIFE rn#ppl who follow my spn blog have seen for real how much writing i do + how Excited i get abt Stuff lmao#things are ok! and tbh a lot of stuff sucked back then i was honestly pretty miserable mental health wise#so even tho i miss the lack of responsibilities i do not miss my mental instability
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💞🎀💞
#what i wouldn't give if someone could perhaps hook me up with base icons of jonah hauer-king from the little mermaid#( and/or anything else but mainly that! )#i'm still kinda on hiatus from tumblr until i get moved/settled ( hopefully by sometime in october ) BUT#i could fiddle with icons or something in the meantime aklsdfjdksf i just don't have time / energy to ✨write✨#but i'm still on my little mermaid shit and cannot find like any resources for him *sobs*#... off topic but i also really wanna go see barbie again sdlkgjadsf#ANYWHO! same old same old stuff: stressed / overwhelmed with work and moving stuff#miss all of you lots and am available on mobile via IMs and discord if anyone wants to chat / plot or write off tumblr!#hope you're all having a great day / week! love youuuu!!#OH and the p*rn blogs have still not left me alone dalksfjdsf they feel so unhinged lately like wtf tumblr pls just function#00. // OUT OF AMMO ( OOC POST. )
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on one hand i think a lot of college is fake woke shit and people who will go work for a corporation as soon as they leave. on the other hand im gonna miss walking into a classroom the first day and the professor immediately opening using text from the communist manifesto bc theres a baseline expectation that people wont be immediately opposed to communism (whereas in my conservative home town my teachers would belittle me for not being an ardent capitalist). or the experience of another prof being so enraptured by his own argument against capitalism he unconsciously threw a marker across the classroom. and a lot of other subtle stuff. like the assumption people wont be homophobic or will make an effort with pronouns etc, and you can make jokes about this stuff and people will find it funny (in contrast me making a joke this summer in different environment about all clothes being gender neutral and shocking someone). Like even if its just performative, i’ll miss that expectation of leftist politics when i leave college
#just thinking about it bc im pissed at my friends rn for antisemitic stuff but where else in the country will i be as safe as here#its like. the balance of being a PWI with lots of shitheads but also the social expectation of most shitheads to at least act like a leftist#and beyond that professors who are radical and cool (which is something i get to see alot as a student activist)#like theyll let me make announcements about protests to a whole class!#and they are professionals who are anti capitalist leftist sometimes activists themselves#then again i think you can find spaces anywhere. it was even great when meeting activists from other orgs and immediately being able to talk#stuff that requires leftist ideals as a baseline#however I literally have a govt job now so . well see what happens w that but my employer is gay so at least theres that#sorry am currently going crazy while not talking to my friends rn. but uhhhh separate issu
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