#i dunno. thats all to say my dad called bc i was looking at housing stuff and i was explaining some of the stuff im doing rn

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 5

a/n: ong this is going to be a bit of a crack episode w a tiny dash of flirty manager

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

-Watch the boys be all dramatic when yn misses a few days of school and suddenly show up with a broken arm😭✊🏻😔

- Dunno if this is a dream or not but i think you mentioned that yn is clumsy. Just imagine her carrying those cute band aids around for when she gets hurt. But what if she uses them on the boys when they get hurt

tumblr moot:

- She is looking down at the boy who is checking her scrap on her knee, when she smiles all cutely and shit "I fell for you" And cue the boy having a heart attack because she is way to cute

im totally not running out of seijoh gifs or anything

anyways!!

lets start!!

okay as mentioned before and as read above,,

you are quite clumsy

like there is a normal level of clumsy

but you are just on another level

like in manager part 2, your mom ltr was not shocked when you said you fell up the stairs like ‘oh okay. the weathers nice today’

lmao what

and youre also the type to not even know you got hurt like youd just be scratching your arm and youd find a bruise 

‘how did that get there?’

so it was common to find you with band-aids on you and bruises all over

like you entered the gym for practice and you were just doing your normal manager tingz when our meme bois saw you and zoomed towards you

‘y/n-chan!!! we missed you!!!!

makki screeched which scared you so you dropped the crate of bottles onto your feet

‘owie’

you mumbled, the pain settling in at an overwhelmingly quick pace so there were tiny tears in your eyes

the duo gasped and quickly kicked the crate to the side like they were angry at it for hurting you

uwu omg thats so cute

or the one time you were wiping the sweat from kyo’s forehead

he had a small soft smile that could only be seen by you as you got rid of the sweat 

but that smile turned into a frown when he got a glimpse at the discoloration on certain parts of your arms

‘y/n’

he whispered

you blinked up and he gently grabbed your arm, fingertips ghosting over the bruises

‘how could you do this to your beautiful skin’

he mumbles and you shrugged

‘hmm,,, i didnt even know they were there’

kyo shook his head with an amused chuckle and iwa, who was drinking water at the side, noticed you two

then he noticed more at your other arm and baby boi hurriedly ran over to you

next thing you know, you got best bois fussing over you always hurting yourself and kyo gently headbutts you to tell you off while iwa flicks your nose

‘honestly, we cant trust you by yourself’

you just giggled at them which caused them to stumble and fluster

THESE BOYS ARE SO SOFT LIKE PLEASE

its quite normal for you to look like you just fell down the stairs and be so surprised whenever the boys point it out

like youd have this confused pout  and tilt your head ‘hm? hello. how did you get here’

its kinda cute

and ofc you would naturally have your ointments for bruises or a first aid kit at all times bc you never really know when it happens and you need to treat it quickly

the boys always count on you for medical tape when their fingers bleed or whenever watari gets bruises all over his legs bc of too many flying dives

the bench was a common place for you to treat the others and our libero babie was sitting there at one practice

you were kneeled on the floor and gently applying ointment on the growing colors on his skin 

‘hmm,,, wata-san, be careful next time, okay? your skin is really soft and pretty. its a shame to ruin it’

he wanted to scoff at the irony and the hypocritical comment but your worried and concerned eyes made him softly smile and nod

‘mhm. i will’

even though it was uneeded on reddened places, you would dig in your bag and fish out a gudetama bandaid on it

it was like a doctor’s signature for you and it makes the boys ltr fall in love with you all over again

ororororor that one time where kindaichi accidentally got a papercut during your study sessions and he was tearing up slightly at the pain

LMAO YALL REALLY OUT HERE TOUGHING OUT PAPERCUTS LIKE ITS NOTHING BUT I ACT LIKE I GOT STABBED 10 TIMES 

you grinned at him to show that it was going to be okay and he let you sit on his lap so you could treat it

he still had a pout and you were giving him forehead kisses to calm him down

‘see? its going to be okay. nurse y/n-chan is the best out there and she’ll take care of you!’

he laughed slightly and you victoriously smiled

once it was all wrapped up, you placed a kiss on it

‘ya gotta kiss it to make it better’

not saying im doing a kindaichi route or anything but he may or may not tackled you with kisses with that comment

but sometimes, they would have to be the one to put that bandaid on you

like one day, you were walking down the stairs to go to the changing rooms for practice and humming softly when you caught sight of the tall volleyball player mattsun at the bottom of the stairs

he was just passing by and you noticed him, waving your hand and shouting his name

‘mattsun-san!’

you greeted and he turned and he smiled brightly at you

you excitedly increased your pace going down the stairs, not noticing that you stepped on the edge of the step and caused your foot to slip

unfortunately, mattsun was too far away for him to catch you so you tripped and scraped your knee

he flashnyoomed over to you and kneeled in front of you to examine it

ofc it hurt like hell but you put up a brave front

‘its okay, mattsun-san’

his adorable eyebrows scrunched in concern and he quickly shook his head and gently picked you up to sit 2 steps up

you watched silently as he grabbed ahold of the familiar blue first aid kit from your bag and he opened it to take out alcohol and other treatment things

his fingers worked to open the bottle and pour a little bit of alcohol before he gently reached out to grab your leg

but before that, our babie mattsun is a gentleman and looked up for a permission to help you

‘its okay, mattsun-san’

you giggled and you booped his nose

he was slowly cleaning the wound and you could still tell he was worried with how his brows were still furrowed

‘mattsun-san’

you called out and he looked up

you smiled cutely and looked down, flustered, then met his eyes again

‘i fell for you’

mattsun.exe stopped working

like deadass he blanked for a second then his brain processed what you said and when he did, he dropped the cotton ball and his face blew up red

this babie grimaced, eyes shutting tightly and head leaning on your thigh

you giggled at him and ran your hands through his hair

‘i swear, y/n, i swear’

he kept mumbling and his heartbeat quickened to the point he felt faint and he felt light-headed

you were just too cute

too damn cute for his heart

too damn cute for this world

just too cute

and thats not good

mattsun quickly regained his senses and hurriedly placed the ointment and the bandaid on to finish the job

you reached out with your hands for a hug and mattsun gladly leaned in and you clung to him like a koala which made him hold you tightly against his chest

‘hmm~~~~ thank you, mattsun-san’

you appreciated and gave him a kiss on his cheek in gratitude which made him hide his face in your neck

‘im going to get a heart attack, y/n. take responsibility’

he mumbled, nipping your neck 

you chuckled and played with the hair on his neck

‘hm~ okay~ i take responsibility~’

I SWEAR MY MATTSUN SIMP IS NOW PEAKING THROUGH

that was only one of the accidents the seijoh boys went through with you and i swear those boys have superior intelligence in medical care just because you get hurt so much

until that one faithful day

you werent there

you werent at school or at practice

ofc you texted the coaches and the team that you werent going to be at school for a while and they spammed you asking what happened or if you were okay

but you didnt want to worry them so you just said that you were okay and it was just something that happened

ONG OIKAWA ACTUALLY CAME TO YOUR HOUSE BUT YOU TOLD YOUR PARENTS AND NATSU TO TELL HIM TO GO AWAY BC IF HE FINDS OUT WHAT HAPPENED, THE CHILE WILL STORM INTO YOUR ROOM AND LECTURE YOU 

HE ONLY WENT AWAY WHEN YOUR DAD CAME OUT WITH A BROOM AND THREATENED TO HIT HIM IF HE CONTINUES TO BOTHER YOU

UKAI VIBES HONESTLY

IS UKAI YOUR FATHER?

CONSPIRACY THEORY?

BUZZFEED UNSOLVED COME SOLVE THIS

then you finally appeared

dear god 

kunimi saw you enter the classroom and he almost shot up to saturn when he saw your cast

‘y/n!’

he shouted and kindaichi heard it from his classroom beside yours and he also usain bolted towards your classroom to your desk

the boi texted the team you were here and they all raced to your classroom 

EVERYONE WAS HAVING A FIELD DAY WITH THE APPEARANCE OF THE BEAUTIFUL VOLLEYBALL TEAM LIKE THE BOYS + YOU?! GODSEND

oikawa screeched at the sight of your arm and everyone was firing questions at you but you couldnt focus on one so you just sat there sheepishly smiling

‘Y/N! WHAT DID-’

‘I SWEAR ITS LIKE WE HAVE TO-’

‘MY HEART ALMOST DIED!! I THOUGHT YOU DIED-’

thank god your professor entered the shooed them out with a large textbook but your teacher smiled at you

‘l/n, good to have you back’

at lunch, dear god there was a riot

kunimi strong man kunimi hoisted you in his arms and walked over to the hidden team stairwell where everyone was waiting

they all had narrowed eyes and crossed arms, with iwakyo tapping their foot

you did the 🥺👉👈 and their eyes softened at that sight alone

‘you see,,,, i had a,,, concert,,, in the shower,,, and slipped’

they blinked, confusion swirling over everyone’s head

‘excuse me? you said you slipped in the bath?’

‘for a concert?’

‘you sing?’

the team facepalmed at the reason you came in with a broken arm and you pouted at them

‘sorry, captain, everyone. i didnt mean to’

you mumbled but the others couldnt blame you so they pulled you to a group hug

‘i swear, y/n-chan, you will get yourself killed one day’

‘sorry’

you apologized again but oikawa flicked your nose

‘no dont apologize. we’ll just have to be there for you constantly to look out for you’

and he stuck to that word

like oikawa came over to your house early in the morning to pick you up from school and your dad thought it was just him bothering again

so he sighed, placed his newspaper down, took a sip of tea, then stood up to go to the closet for his broom

this mans took a deep breath before opening his door and shouting and waving his broom around maniacally

‘SHUT UP!!! YOURE DISTURBING THE NEIGHBORS!! I WILL BEAT YOUR LOUD CRUSTY DUSTY-’

that woke up everyone in the house and you bolted down the stairs, terrified yet chuckling at the sight

then something happened for everyone in the neighborhood-or Japan- to wake up

yanno the drill ladies and gents

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry i disappeared for a HOT SEC but im back!! and we finally going back to the groove!!! and uwu thanks for sticking by and waiting for another update and the next one might be my first not-seijoh work in a LONG WHILE so look forward to that!!! 

[rafecameron]

idk if u do rqst but i love ur writing! can u do jj x reader in a secret relationship bc shes a kook & also kiara’s enemy? maybe kiara having a lil crush on jj and when she found out, thats when the drama happens? kie confronts y/n and they get into a fight!! 🤭 im sorry if you dont do requests ): just ignore this then!

thank you so much for requesting! I haven’t written for JJ in so long I hope this is okay!

You didn’t necessarily enjoy sneaking around. You hated lying to your friends about where you were and what you were doing but you knew it was for the best. You knew your friends would look down on you for dating a pogue, but that wasn’t even what you were worried about. It was his friends. One friend in particular. Kiara. You knew kiara from school and you even used to hang out with her during her kook year. You were never what you would have called friends but you got along and were civil so when she completely turned on you at the end of last year you were more than a little surprised.

You had tried to talk to her, even if you didn’t much care for her you didn’t want any animosity between the two of you. But she hadn’t wanted to know and you’d given up trying pretty quickly. If she wanted to isolate herself from the whole school then you’d leave her to it. You never imagined your paths would have to cross much again besides sharing the same maths class. But then JJ had happened. And it hadn’t meant to happen.

You’d been at a kegger, nothing unusual about that. But your friend had ditched you to hook up with a touron so you’d found yourself wandering around the fire pit alone and more than a little intoxicated. That’s when you’d bumped into him. You’d seen him around before but you’d never spoken nor had the chance to get a god look at him. And now you had? You were enchanted. His messy blonde hair wasn’t something you’d usually find attractive but it suited him. You got lost in his blue eyes, eyes full of hope and laughter. You’d spent hours sitting with him, talking and laughing. Until kiara had appeared and all but ripped him from your side.

“Kiara what the hell?” You’d asked jumping up from the log you were sat on with a glare.

“Stay the hell away from my friends.” She spat back with a scowl to match yours.

JJ had intervened before a fight could break out, he held kiara back, profusely apologising to you before pulling her away. He’d found you on Instagram the day after and sent you another apology and since then you’d been practically inseparable.

“Do you think we will ever tell anyone?” You ask. Your chin was resting against JJ’s chest as you looked up at him, the sunlight coming through your window casting an ethereal glow across his tanned skin.

“I dunno y/n.” JJ sighs, he hated when you brought this topic up, “it’s complicated.”

“I know,” you lift your head, reaching a hand up to caress his cheek lightly, “but I mean in the future. Surely we can’t hide forever.”

JJ lifts his head, eyes softening as they meet yours, “one day yeah. Don’t think I don’t ever want the whole world to know you’re mine, cause I do.”

You quickly crawl up his chest and plant a kiss to his lips, the smile on your face making it hard to kiss him properly, “I want the whole world to know I’m yours. I want kiara to know I’m yours, so she can stop eyeing you up.”

JJ rolls his eyes and drops his head back with a groan, “not this again,” you hear him sigh, “she does not have a crush on me, y/n.”

“Yes she does!” You sit up, straddling his lap so you could look down at his face, “you don’t see the way she looks at you! Also, you’re completely oblivious to everything. I was dropping hints for weeks before finally out right saying I liked you.” You roll your eyes.

“That was different! I just convinced myself you would never be interested in a pogue like me.” JJ looks up at you, a small shrug rolling off his shoulders.

“JJ you know I don’t care about that stuff.” You lean down placing a kiss lightly to his lips.

“I know that now.” JJ replies, placing his hands on your hips as he kisses you again.

—-

It had been months since you’d started dating JJ, seven to be exact. And you’d both done a pretty good job at hiding the fact from other people. Your parents were out most of the time and your neighbours were elderly so it wasn’t hard to sneak him in and out of your house. You’d been to his a couple of times but he liked to keep you away from his dad as much as possible and you were perfectly okay with that.

You were currently attending what you were sure would be the last kegger of the year as the nights were starting to get noticeably colder as winter rolled around. You had a hoodie on, oversized and pulled over your hands to protect against the chill. You found it increasingly hard to stay away from JJ at keggers, because every time your eyes found him there was some touron trying desperately to get into his pants. You trusted JJ but that didn’t mean you liked to see it.

Your eyes were only pulled away from the blonde as a commotion broke out behind you. You weren’t at all surprised to see Rafe tackling someone to the ground, Topper not far behind him. Before you knew it there was at least eight people rolling around in the sand fighting. You tried to get away from the punches but before you knew it someone had been thrown in your direction, tumbling into your legs and pulling you to the ground with them. You let out a squeal as you fell backwards into the sand, hurting your lower back as you landed.

“Get off of me.” You growled pushing the drunk kook away from your legs.

“Y/N!” You heard your name being shouted, the kook was lifted away from you and chucked into the sand and suddenly JJ’s concerned face appeared in front of yours, “are you okay?” He asks his hands coming to rest on your shoulders as he looks you up and down for any obvious injuries.

“I’m fine.” You smile resting your hands gently on his wrists, “my back hurts a little but I’ll be okay. People will see.” You tried to pry his hands away but he wouldn’t let you.

“I don’t care, that asshole could have seriously hurt you!” JJ complains, his hand moves to your cheek, “are you sure you’re okay?”

You open your mouth but you don’t get a chance to reply. “What the hell is this?” Kiara asks appearing behind JJ with a look of disgust on her face, “JJ? What the fuck?”

JJ looks at her over his shoulder, his brows furrowed in a scowl, “back off kiara, nows not the time.”

“I think nows a perfect time to explain what the fucks going on.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest as her friends join her, confused looks crossing their faces.

“Kiara-“ you begin but she cuts you off.

“I wasn’t talking to you! I swear to god if you’re messing with him I’ll beat the crap out of you.” Kiara steps forward, popes hand on her shoulder stops her.

JJ stands up, helping you up with him, “she’s not messing with me! We’ve been dating for seven months. We didn’t tell you because we knew this is how you’d react.”

“Seven months?” Kiara splutters out, “what the hell? If you’re using him for some plot to get back at me-“

“I’m not using him!” You step around JJ and closer to Kiara, “I have no plot to get back at you because I have no reason to! You’re the one with a problem here not me! I’m sorry that you’re like in love with him or something but he isn’t interested!”

“I’m not in love with him, you have no idea what you’re talking about.” Kiara steps forward again, now only inches separating the two of you.

“Okay let’s calm down a minute.” John B speaks up pulling Kiara back as JJ tugs on your arm, “I think we should hear them out before starting any fights.”

“Look, I’m sorry that I’ve been lying to you guys, but I knew the reaction we’d get. And we really like each other, we didn’t want anything to ruin it.” JJ explains with a sigh, “and in y/n’s defense, she wanted to come clean months ago, it was me who said no.”

“Well I didn’t see this coming.” Pope speaks up but he smiles and lets out a chuckle, “it explains why you’ve been so damn happy lately man.”

“You’ve really been dating for seven months?” John B asks with raised brows, you both simply nod in answer, “Look, I’m okay with it. Like Pope said, this is the happiest we’ve seen you in a long time.”

“Well I am not okay with this!” Kiara cuts in with a frown, “you know how I feel about her! I can’t believe you guys don’t even care.” She shoots you another glare before turning on her heel and storming off.

The boys watch her walk away for a few seconds before turning back to you, “we’ll talk to her, she’ll come around.” John B sighs and hurried after her.

“I’m happy for you guys!” Pope calls over his shoulder with a grin as he follows after his friend.

JJ lets out a huff of breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, “that went bad, but not nearly as bad as I expected.”

“Are you kidding? She wanted to smash my face in!” You complain.

“Babe, she always wants to smash your face in.” JJ looks at you with a cheeky grin, “but at least I can do this now.”

He grabs your hips and leans forward, his lips meet yours in a slow kiss, your arms wrap around his neck and hold him close to you, “and I don’t care who sees.” He mumbles against your lips before connecting them again.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

[sugawara-sweetheart]

I HAVE NO CLUE omg & i met one of his friends once, he was like 6'5 I HUGGED HIM AND WHEN WE PULLED AWAY I HAD TO LOOK STRAIGHT UP AT HIM i was intimidated at first bc 6'5 is a little crazy but he was super nice and gentle it was sweet 🥺 6'2 guy isn't single though </3 BUT MY BROTHER IS he's 5'10 but thats still tall so you can have him if you want & then i can call you my big sister 😼 omg i've never met a person my age shorter than her its crazy to think about but we basically lived-🧸 1/4

together we were always at each others houses HAHA i had to move though so i don't see her anymore :( it was awesome!! yes i did, i still do! i started playing in like 2014? bc my dad used to coach so he wanted me to try it out! i'm outside hitter! the team i went to see was my middle school team, its actually the highschool team in that county but they put me on it instead of the middle school team for some reason, NOT COMPLAINING THOUGH! i hadn't seen them since like,, 2017 when i moved-🧸 2/4 away?? so it was nice, we all practiced together it was so nostalgic 🥺 alot of them have graduated but most of them still came! that sucks!! :( maybe you'll get to play eventually, its so fun! AH I MEAN i do read it but not too often!! angst wasn't really my thing until i found bokuaka then i fell down an angst hole I'VE ONLY READ A FEW THOUGH!! well written angst hurts me for WEEKS bc i always keep thinking deeper into everything that happened and what was said so it cuts deeper-🧸 3/4 every time i think about it, like IAL i have a specific thing about the death that i think about EVERYDAY & it makes my heart squeeze. i normally don't ship romantically, but i do sometimes! i've heard of people shipping them, i never really understood it but i respect people who ship it! HAHA YOUR REASON I LOVE IT, I MUST FIND THAT ART IT SOUNDS SO CUTE i must find it. I DUNNO SOMETIMES I JUST GET IN A MOOD FOR ANGST AND I ALWAYS GO FOR BOKUAKA they hurt more bc bokuto is a big babie :( -🧸 4/4

6’5...i am😳😳😳i went on height comparison thing and the SIZE DIFFERENCE FOR MY HEIGHT IM SHOCKED but that’s so cute umm is 6’5 also single🥺👉🏼👈🏼AGSJSGS THATS SO CUTE OMG YOU CAN ALWAYS CALL ME YOUR BIG SISTER🥺🥺❤️but would your brother even want me?😔IF HE SAYS YES i’m packing my bags right away like bye my family here i’m going to get tall boys😎ahahaha aww bless her is she feisty bc all the short people ik are feisty? aww that’s such a shame :(( i hope you guys still get to talk often on the phone and stuff.

aw that sounds like so much fun and you must be amazing to be on the high school team! outside hitter sounds so cool, i often wonder what position i’d play hehe but it must’ve been so nice to see them all again! i’m glad you have a lovely time <3 i hope i can play it soon hehe but i’m super shy with team sports, i usually just work out at the gym alone

that’s why i don’t like reading angst! it’s so realistic too like death can happen to anyone and that’s why i hate reading them bc they hurt so bad and there’s nothing that can change it🥺🥺so you’re just left there thinking about it again and again. if the angst has a happy ending i can deal with the hurt bc it’s all for a good cause hehe but not angst with a bad ending.

friendship ships are so cute, i get that!! but shsjshs IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT ik people are super critical of them but my thinking is: bakugou respects uraraka from what i’ve seen, he recognises her strength and for him to not hate her over it and respect her for it must mean shes something right. and uraraka is such a sweet angel she contrasts so much to bakugou and also idk which one i’m more attracted to but like the point is they’re cute together thanks for coming to my ted talk🥰I WILL HAPPILY FIND YOU CUTE BAKUGOU X URARAKA ART I WAS LOOKJBG AT IT FOR AGES ON PINTEREST

aww bokuto is big baby he’s so precious🥺🥺i dont wanr to imagibe him hurt

[clearskiiess]

I actually have the best idea for your "talk about" ask meme. Do 1-40 please 💕💗💞💟❤️💖 Give Us Your Autobiography

1  - talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

already answered !

2 - talk about your first kiss.

damn well that aint happened yet. lol

3 - talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.

hGGGG probably my best friend and crush miriam. god im fucking in love with her omfg gO DODKLHFSHFDJDKHK i wont ramble too much but omffhjfkfjkdhfkjd thnak god shes not on tumblr or id die eeeehggGGGH like we flirt a lot but we’re not dating quite yetaaa ghddgh

4 - talk about the thing you regret most so far.

nothing bitchesssss 😎🤘 i regret not getting into good music earlier maybe.

5 - talk about the best birthday you’ve had.

already answered!

6 - talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.

uhhhghghgh not really a bad one i can remember ! all of them have been good, some better than others ofc but theyre still good even if i dont get prezzies.

7 - talk about your biggest insecurity.

ohufuibfhkbkjbjk probably my art and drumming and writing opps.

8 - talk about the thing you are most proud of.

already answered !

9 - talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

already answered!

10 -  talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.

damn probably me and my mum, we fight kind of often but yeah djldfkjjkdjkdkj those are probably the worst fights i have. or me and my dad

11 - talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.

already answered!

12 - talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.

damn uh kinda dont wanna answer, too personal sorry eee

13 - talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

idk really, just being with someone i really like or even love and its just super fun and casual, and like just exploring it? yeah

14 - talk about a vacation.

ooo when me n the fam went to europe when i was 10 and we went to paris for 4 days, then germany for 2 weeks and norway i think 1 or 2 weeks? it was bloody awesome omfG it was great !!!! my family is big on travel so we usually use our money on it.

15 - talk about the time you were most content in life.

already answered !

16 - talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.

eh not really? maybe friend’s parties as a child but thats kinda it. dont really go to parties yet eee

17 - talk about someone you want to be friends with.

already answered !

18 - talk about something that happened in elementary school.

uh thats primary right? well, nothing interesting i remember in year 6 i loved warrior cats and me n my friends would roleplay it a lot at school, everyone thot we were weird but i didnt care ahah.

19 - talk about something that happened in middle school.

well thats high school for me so, nothing interesting either. maybe that one time with my old friend domi and maya and it was yr 7, i was 13 i was staying home cause i was sick af. and maya called me up, obviously trying not to laugh. and she was like “domis broken his leg! help help! what do i do” and im like uh. why are you calling me??? call the ambulance or get a teacher to do it for christs sake! i dont even believe you. and she was like yeah look! and sent me a fucking photoshopped pic of him lying at the bottom of the stairs, it made me fucking laugh so hard i was like, bro you expect me to believe you? ok buddy. bye. and hung up it was funny af

20 - talk about something that happened in high school.

^^^ answered above lol.

21 - talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

ggghHHHH ok i had to turn down my friend austin in yr 7  bc domi was pressuring me to go out with him cause i told him about how i used to like him, but for some reason that meant i still liked him to him??? so he kept going on abt it saying ask him out etc so i caved in and did and the date was so shitty i just faked sick and left and we didnt talk for a bit, but thats long gone and we’ve made up now lol, just good friends

22 - talk about your worst fear.

already answered ! 

23 - talk about a time someone turned you down.

hgg not happened yet,,, thank god 

24 - talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

well whenever someone compliments me on anything really or says im their best friend like??? psjksfjkdjkhfsdjlfds ok dead,,, or when they say i love u i jusT DIE

25 - talk about an ex-best friend.

already answered!

26 - talk about things you do when you’re sick.

already answered !

27 - talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.

uh??? idk hands. i love hands a lot. and collarbones. and lips. and eyes. and eyebrows. and legs, and tummies and - ok ill shuT Up

28 - talk about your fetishes.

dont really have any. maybe hands

29 - talk about what turns you on.

hands. teehee

30 - talk about what turns you off.

i dunno,  any bdsm like at all ahahaha. srry bros

31 - talk about what you think death is like.

i dunno really? sometimes i feel like its nothing, like we’ll just die and stop functioning and just rot and become one with the earth. but sometimes i feel like maybe there is an afterlife, like not what we think but yea? like i dunno.

32 - talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

ohh boy , well one is this river near my house, or creek really. i love it a lot its great, i love going there and watching the birds and hearing the water rush.

33 - talk about what you do when you are sad.

eh, kinda just cry my eyes out and listen to music or watch a good movie and then i feel a bit better.

34 - talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.

uh well as of recently i can remember, was when i got jaw surgery in april this year. now this shit was fucking horrible, for a month and a half my face was puffed like a balloon and bruises everywhere, and i literally could not eat cause i couldnt bloody move my mouth! i was confined to my bed and i lost so much weight bc i could barely eat and i was throwing up old blood and shit during that time and i couldnt fucking sit up without drooling cause i couldnt control it it was so fucking gross man. at least i look better now but it was hell lmfao.

35 - talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

uhhh idk maybe staying up all night n shit, i dont think anything else? maybe avoiding school too. oh , and ofc get rid of my depression hahah

36 - talk about your guilty pleasures.

eeeeeee nothing rlly? i dont feel guilty abt shit, i shouldnt

37 - talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

uhm i guess my ex bf tyler, well gf at the time but yea, i loved him a whole lot dkjfdhdhfhkdj but we were only 12-13 yknow and he lived in the us so it was rlly sucky. but it was a good time, just some experience

38 - talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

damn well, sweet child o mine by gnr reminds me of my friend claudia, she LOVES stuff like gnr and ac/dc, motley crue etc. and for u maxie, killer queen def ! and gold dust woman for me friend mazzy,,,, and in my life omg for miriam sjdjdjdjfkg

39 - talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.

already answered !

40 - talk about the end of something in your life.

already answered !

tYSM BBY MAXIE ILYSM

[macbookpro-hard-drive]

talk too much [jeremy h. x reader]

like what i do? consider buying me a coffee!

y’all wanted jerm so i write jerm

warnings: probably out of character jerm bc this isnt even my best writing but u kno what!!! i tried and thats what matters! :0 also some hormonal teenage shit but whatever

        After a year of knowing Jeremy, and about three months of dating him, you could say you knew him well enough to know his nervous tics. The way he’d sorta start shoving his hands into his pockets, only to immediately pull them back out and straighten his spine; the way he’d drum his fingers restlessly on a table or on his ever-bouncing leg; or how he’d focus on you and stare you down unintentionally, his focus just ending up on you even if his thoughts weren’t. When you could get out, you’d slip your hand into his own and ask if he wanted to stay - and usually, he was happy to leave, immediately relaxing into normal-nerdy-boyfriend while telling you about the latest episode of this podcast he and Michael had been listening to, or about this video game he’d found, or really anything that interested him. He liked locking his fingers with your own, your shoulder bumping against him when he slightly pulled you into his side, trapped in his own world about whatever came to mind. You liked seeing Jeremy get caught up in his own world for a bit - there was just something cute about seeing fascination etch it’s way into his features, the stars in his eyes bright as ever. 

        So there you were, sitting across from Jeremy in some coffee-shop Michael had practically begged for you two to come to, watching Jeremy idly drum his fingers against the table as he listened to Michael talk on and on about the trip he took with his moms to visit family for the past few weeks. You smiled as you watched Michael pull up photo after photo, telling story after story about the shit he got up to while he was away. Normally, you and Jeremy would trade stories with Michael - but both of you had the feeling that whatever you two had to say, Michael wouldn’t exactly be up to hearing. Not that you thought Jeremy could get past one detail without going completely red - which the mere thought of made you smile. So you kept your coffee between your hands, listening to Michael’s winter break and watching Jeremy’s endless drumming.

        The moment that you and Jeremy parted ways with Michael, he opened up again, slipping his fingers in between your own and softly grasping your hand. You could see your breath in the winter air, and Jeremy’s hand was warm against your own. You listened to Jeremy talk about how he wished his winter break had involved travelling - not that he had anything against you, because trust him, he loved spending all that time with you - but maybe during summer if both of you get a job, you can save up and maybe go somewhere together.

        He stopped mid-sentence, looking over to you. “I-I mean,” he started, “if you wanna travel with me.”

        You looked over to him, tugging your scarf closer to your neck with your free hand. You finally spoke, a warm tuft of air emerging as you opened your mouth to speak, “of course I wanna travel with you, Jer. Why wouldn’t I?”

        “I mean- It’s not like I’m special or anything,” he sorta laughed it off, “and I don’t really know cool shit like Michael does about random places- or even where we’d go or-”

        “Where do you wanna go?” You squeezed his hand as you walked down the street.

        “I dunno. New York? It’s not far, but it’s expensive-” He paused, “what about you?”

        “New York honestly sounds great.” You fished around in your pocket for your keys, clicking for your car to unlock as the two of you approached it.

        The moment the two of you got into your car, you went to crank it up and blast the heating. Before you even considered moving, you waited, fingers intertwined with Jeremy’s as the two of you waited for that first gust of warm air to finally break through the car. He finally broke his hand away from yours as he unwrapped his scarf slowly, shedding his jacket without a second thought - and if you hadn’t had been paying attention, you would have missed the obvious mark on his neck.

        “Good job with hiding that, Jer,” you said with a click of your tongue, and he barely registered what you were talking about. Then it clicked, and the blush traveled up his neck and to his cheeks and the tips of his ears - although maybe the fact that he was cold helped with that.

        “I didn’t want Michael to see it- fuck, I’d never hear the end of it if he saw it, because then he’d say something to Rich and Rich would go screaming about it in the group chat and I-” He paused, “I don’t want them to know about any of that.”

        “Babe,” you dropped the name quietly, “I understand.” You couldn’t fight back a smirk, “although it’ll be kiiinda hard when it gets warmer.” You pulled his hand to your lips as you pressed a soft kiss against the back of it. “We’re heading to your place, right?”

        He nodded slowly, cheeks growing redder at the mischievous glint in your eyes. He knew you. He knew what you were planning - especially because his dad was definitely out right now, and that meant the two of you would be alone for a bit. Excitement bubbled within him though, because he’d definitely be lying if he said that look didn’t stir something within him. His breath had slightly hitched, and he fought back against anymore redness as he averted his gaze and focused on the scenery outside. You turned up the radio, a familiar enough song playing and he listened as you softly sang along in that little way that people do when they know the song but they don’t know the song. The soft murmurs under your breath that went along with the tune, but weren’t specific enough to make out each word. He smiled at that. He’d be lying if he didn’t actually think about road trips with you during summer, of turning up the radio so that the two of you could jam out shamelessly to a playlist you’d build together.

        You pulled into the driveway, shutting the car off after you watched Jeremy re-dress himself with winter attire (and you watched him smile when you made eye contact as he draped his scarf around his neck again to hide the hickey you’d given him the day before, and you couldn’t help but smile in return). Within the next few minutes, you were inside of his house and en route to his room, stripping off your thick jacket along the way.

        “Shit, babe, I know that I said I was going to clean after you left yesterday, but I kinda got preoccupied and I forgot about it,” Jeremy called out, “so my room is still a fucking mess- and, uh, I think I left my computer on the bed and hopefully I closed it but, fuck, I don’t remember-” And then he was following you, steps behind as you opened his bedroom door, his clothes strewn on the floor from changing that morning and his backpack open, binders carelessly shoved inside. “Sorry-” He said as he followed your gaze to his bag, “I had something stuck in my bag and I, uh, didn’t get a chance to organize- shit, I think I left a can of soda somewhere-”

        “Oh my god, Jeremy, shut up,” you laughed as you pulled him to you, lips smashing against his own, fingers gripping his shirt tightly within your fists.

        He clumsily kissed back, one hand at your cheek and the other grazing your arm as he stumbled force due to the sheer force of your pull. When he broke away, he pressed his forehead against your own, breathing softly as he sheepishly smiled.

        “I was rambling.” He said, not even questioning it, because he knew. 

        “Uh-huh.”

        “Sorry.”

        “Don’t be.” You reached up, caressing his cheek, “it’s cute.” You pressed a quick peck against his lips, “you’re cute.” You couldn’t help but smile. “You’re really, really fucking cute, Jeremy - I hope you know that. Like,” you drew away from him slightly, giving the smallest amount of distance between the two of you, “I like watching you talk about stuff you’re passionate about, even if I don’t understand half of it sometimes.” He watched you, not interrupting for a second. “Like - I know literally nothing about that Dungeons and Dragons podcast you listen to, but you get so fucking happy when you talk about it, it’s so cute. Or when you talk about some shit that happened when you were playing Overwatch, you get so fucking starstruck, it’s cute-”

        And then he kissed you, making you stumble back, pulling him with you as you fell. Pain sprawled throughout your back, Jeremy awkwardly pressed against you, and he pressed a soft kiss against your forehead as he kept asking if you were okay, to which you managed a nod.

        “Are you sure? I think we have-”

        “Shut up and kiss me, Jeremy.”

[heybinnie]

i dunno if anyone watches steven universe but i gotta dump sth here

steven universe au

some context

there is Homeworld, located in space, where gems are made and are from

the three-ish people who lead Homeworld are called the Diamonds

every other gem kinda worships them and has to follow their every order

thousands of years ago, Homeworld set out to make Earth like this place to experiment making gems and shit and basically just rekt Earth for their own use

which is BAD

so basically the Diamonds suck

so Rose Quartz, right, shes a gem from Homeworld who saw Earth as a beautiful place and something worth saving

she believed that all life on earth is beautiful

SO she betrayed her own home to protect her new home, that is Earth

she started a rebellion called the Crystal Gems

whoever joined her had to remember that they could be killed, and if they won, they couldnt go back to Homeworld and have to stay on Earth

so they went to war with Homeworld called the Gem War and they won!!!!!

but the Crystal Gems lost a lot of their members

until there was only Rose, Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl left

Rose (Whos a gEm REMEMBER) she falls in love with a human

Rose gets pregnant!!!

BUT

their baby and her cant exist at the same time

so rose has to give up her physical form so that her baby can live

which means

her baby will be half human half gem, and will thus have her gem

so her baby lives, but without his mom

thats steven

and bc she led the rebellion, steven has to ‘deal’ with everything his mom left behind

which is a lot of stuff

about where Steven lives!!

he lives alone in this house, but its like connected to the Temple where the Crystal Gems live, so in a sense its basically just a big house with a huge weird basement so they all kinda live together idk how to explain this

lives on the beach!!! its so cute i love the place

THE CRYSTAL GEMS!!!

sanha is steven (*starts crying*)

his rose quartz gem is on his chest, over his heart

has never met his mom

so never really knew the love of a mother but it never really ~occurred~ to him until she becomes really important

I CANT TeLL YOU HOW EMOTIONALLY DRAINING IT WOULD BE TO BE STEVEN OK

so anyway sanha is a sweetheart

also is musically talented in every way

likes to sing random songs out of nowhere

likes to mess with his ‘guardians’ a lot aka the rest of the crystal gems

but they all have a soft spot for him no matter how much he messes up

he always does his best bro

and its so cute bc hes just the baby brother and hes surrounded by a bunch of hundreds or thousands of years old gems lmao

sometimes hes left alone at home when the rest of the crystal gems go on missions too dangerous for him

and when his dad is busy

hes alone at home

and its really quiet and the painting of his mother hangs on top of their front door, and sanha gets really lonely and just cries sometimes

so when rocky comes over his chest always fills up with warmth and relief

to sanha, his family is everything

also adorable. absolutely adorable no one can say no to his face tbh

jinjin is garnet??

hes created the exact same way garnet was

his gems are in the same places--both palms

jinjin loves the concept of love in general

bc hes literally made out of love

like legit

hes a fusion: a sapphire and ruby who werent supposed to but fell in love, and gems do this thing where when theyre really emotionally bonded and stuff theyd fuse? which is like. thats a lot of trust for each other ykno

so jinjins a fusion

people look down on fusions bc theyre usually thought to only be useful to like fight but jinjin exists because of love

YOU FEEL ME

and jinjin honestly doesnt care about what people think of him bc he exists

but he feels very strongly for fusions!!

hes also considered the ‘strongest’ because hes a fusion

also the de facto leader of the crystal gems

always calm and level headed but occasionally likes to crack a joke

everyone loves him

jinjin is jinjin in the sense that he is always kind and likes to make sanha laugh

soft spot for sanha

sanha trusts him a LOT

often looks to him for advice, when something goes wrong, for safety and warmth and protection

eunwoo is pearl

he hides his gem beneath his bangs?? bc hes embarrassed :’)

pearls are considered only useful as ‘accessories’ and servants to the Diamonds

gems from Homeworld think of pearls as the ‘lowest’ gems

but this boy learns to love and be confident of himself come FIGHT ME

no one owns eunwoo man he’s his own gem

hes really super duper smart

sometimes he and jinjin fight bc he sees things more logically>? while jinjin acts more on intuition and stuff?

mj makes fun of eunwoo sometimes bc he doesnt know how to have fun? but then right after mj helps him so thats kinda cute

but also eunwoo berates mj a lot bc 

well its mj

also chides sanha a lot when he doesnt keep the house in order

often helps to clean up

anyway hes considered the ‘closest’ to Rose Quartz bc hed been fighting by her side the longest

so he misses her a lot but eunwoo doesnt blame sanha for any of it; he loves sanha all the same

but then bin THE LION comes into the picture and eunwoo gets this weird but warm, familiar sense of comfort from bin, something he remembers feeling around Rose when she was still around, so he likes to hang with bin a lot

even if bin the lion likes to lie on his face and whap him in the face with his tail and leave fur everywhere

anyway

mj is amethyst

but like....hes an amber

his gem is on hiS BACK between his shoulderblades

the history of amethyst: amethysts are ‘made’ on earth, theyre made mostly to be soldiers and fight for homeworld

somewhere above pearls on the hierarchy i guess

theyre made in the Kindergarten, where there are these holes in the walls where the gems would come out of

at some point mj’s kindergarten kind of became like a ‘bad place’ and every gem that grew out of there were like parasites

so that Kindergarten was abandoned

and mj, the hole he came out of, his hole was smaller than everyone else’s

he came out smaller than everyone else

he was considered a ‘defect’ and weaker than the others

anyway bc the place was abandoned and he had nowhere to go since no one wanted him, mj just stuck around alone by himself for hundreds of years

until Rose came along (when she was still alive of course) and offered him to join the Crystal Gems

and Rose taught him love and how he was worth fighting for and he mattered and that he wasnt a defect, not a parasite, that he deserved love and to be loved and to love others and

im emo

ANYWAY

MJ IS MJ hes the mood maker and always makes sanha smile whenever sanha is feeling down

hes kinda like the glue that keeps the gems together

loves to have fun

but he gets really uncomfortable whenever the topic of the other ambers or the Kindergarten is brought up like hes super insecure of where hes from

he tries to smile it off tho but he really just doesnt like talking about it

protecc mj

ROCKY!! IS CONNIE!!!!!!!!!

SANHA’S HUMAN BEST FRIEND

who sanha really pours his heart out to!!!

and rocky as rocky doesnt give him shit ykno but he real talks sanha

a lot

rocky also doesnt care that sanha is half gem and half human; like doesnt care and just likes him for him

sticks around through thick and thin and hell and highwater

believes in sanha, holds a lot of faith in him

but hes still your Rocky Swag

always listens to sanha whenever he needs someone to talk to

actually likes to hear about all his adventures with the other Crystal Gems

likes to touch and poke and prod at Sanha’s gem too

like he’d sometimes kinda just pull down on sanha’s collar just so he could look at his rose quartz gem sparkle in the sun and its so pretty he kinda wished he was a gem

anyway eventually he starts to really worry for sanha and wants to fight the bad guys with him, doesnt wanna be protected all the time

so rocky learns to fight

from jinjin

and rocky becomes especially good in combat and stuff and learns how to use some weapons from eunwoo (specialises in weapons) 

honestly rocky is a gem like hes a GIFT

sanha’s so thankful for him

but he also feels really bad bc he feels like hes pulling rocky into his own mess and putting him in danger

but rocky doesnt care he just wants to be by sanha’s side and help him wherever he can and support him all the way through

im emo

rocky also holds sanha quietly when he cries about his mom

which starts to get more and more often

bin....is lion......................................................

LMAO

basically Lion is this uh lion that Sanha found one day when they went on a mission, and Lion is all pink and stuff and followed him around and all the way back home too

the Crystal Gems were unsure about keeping him but sanha thought it was HELLA COOL to have a pet lion and they all eventually lost to His Baby Face

no one can ever say no to that face

anyway bin is called Lion bc sanha has no originality with names so there

anyway

bin is actually a gem

he specialises in shapeshifting? so when rose was still around he was in lion form a lot

hes a cATS EYE QUARTZ

BUT HIS GEM waS cracked in the middle of the gem war

and usually when a gem’s gem is cracked they start to get real weird until the crack gets bigger and bigger and eventually it shatters which means they die

but when rose was alive she healed him but could only do it like halfway? like it was a rushed job so he was stuck as a lion during that war

and then when that was over he was kinda left behind bc rose thought she’d lost everyone already

idk bro

so basically bin’s been stuck as a lion for TOO LONG until sanha found him

but sanha doesnt knoW hes a gem bc bin’s gem is hidden so far beneath is goddam thicc mane so no one ever knew

also my friends who may not know

Steven’s Lion is pink

this means binnie will have pink hair and skin imagine that

and he kinda kneels to sanha (even as lion)

I CANT EXPLAIN THIS U JUST GOTTA KNOW HE KNEELS AND BOWS HIS HEAD

#respect

but also maintains that whole im-older-than-you-respect-me-u-brat vibe

ANYWAY

bin the LION comes along on one of the Crystal Gems’ missions with sanha

aND HE GETS REALLY HURT

ALMOST DIES KINDA HURT

his gem cracks and his form starts to get real weird, changing between lion and other animals and shit

SANHA STARTS CRYING

“Lion????”

sanha cries A LOT, buries his face into bin’s mane and stuff and it soaks right frickin thru

his teaRS HEALED BIN’S GEM

BIN COMES BACK

AS HIS ACTUAL FORM

hes naked

everyone screams

[maireep]

WAS TAGGED BY: @lavabait

TAGGING: i tag no one its like 4 in the morning

RULES: ANSWER THESE 85 STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE

THE LAST

1. DRINK: diet coke (forgive me lord) 2. PHONE CALL: a missed call from my friend jules rip :(  3. TEXT MESSAGE: i texted a meme to my coworkers’ groupchat 4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: kill of the night by gin wigmore 5. TIME YOU CRIED: like maybe a week ago? im a cry baby 6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: a mistake a while ago but yes 7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: ye 8. BEEN CHEATED ON: yup 9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: yes 10. BEEN DEPRESSED: i am right now!!!!!!! BAZINGA!!!!!!! 11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: all the time! my stomach is weak on drinks :<

3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. sunflower yellow 13. seafoam 14. navy

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yes ;w; <3 i love them!!! 16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: yes 17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: i laugh until i pee all the fucking time 18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: ugh yeah but idk if it was a good/bad thing 19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: yes ;w; rolls around happily 20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: :> this year has been a good year for finding out true friends 21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: yea

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: 75% of it! but like 25% not yet :(  23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: DOBBY my cute little boy with his fluffy ears 24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: all the time 25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: nothing like i do every year bc no one is around to celebrate with me 26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: 8:50ish ! i had work at 10 even though i was out drinking till 4 lol 27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: i was at the second house party of the night, drinking heavily in honor of coming back to school 28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: posting updates for my fics! and posting my spy au eventually!!!  29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: like 5 hours ago 32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: my dad’s name is tom  33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: the fact that my back is hurting :(  34. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: tumblr? youtube????? maybe gmail...  35. HAIR COLOUR: an ugly pink-blonde 36. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: i like short hair a lot!  37. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: mmhm 38. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: can i say nothing? ummm maybe my thighs? 39. PIERCINGS: four dermal hip piercings, six ear piercings and im hoping to get four more ear piercings and a lip one! 40. BLOOD TYPE: O i think 41. NICKNAME: mai, mar, marbles, maimai 42. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: we’re on a break for school time :>  43. ZODIAC: capricorn! 44. PRONOUNS: she/her 45. FAVOURITE TV SHOW: 3d tv show? game of thrones! its the only one i watch regularly ;w;  46. TATTOOS: a horrifying gang tattoo, my star and my voltron tattoo! im gonna get a gorillaz one soon! 47. RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: right handed! 48. SURGERY: tonsil removal :3c 50. SPORT:  soccer! hockey! i watch a lot of baseball surprisingly  51. VACATION: do i want one? yes!!! is that the question? is it my favorite vacation? might be the last one i went on; ireland! i also liked going to connecticut :>  52. PAIR OF TRAINERS:  converse~ and vans :3c i think i look cool in them 

MORE GENERAL

53. EATING: nothin 54. DRINKING: water now :> 55. I’M ABOUT TO: finish this and then maybe sleep? finally?  56. WAITING FOR: my back to stop hurting... or maybe for me to finish writing this first part of the spy auuuu  57. WANT: wings......or chocolate cake pls :9 or a fuckin aleve for my aching jooooints 58. GET MARRIED: one day <3 59. CAREER: pls god let me a freelance artist... or a major illustrator! or a tattoo artist 60. HUGS OR KISSES: i love kissing so much.... i do like cuddles more than anything though 61. LIPS OR EYES: both! im gay 62. SHORTER OR TALLER: either :>  63. OLDER OR YOUNGER:  either again wheeheee 64. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: fuckin bOTH god im just... everything is bueno 65. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship 66. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: im a troublemaker tbh

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. KISSED A STRANGER: yes ugh 68. DRANK HARD LIQUOR:  ya  69. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: yeS i dropped my glasses on a rollercoaster once 70. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN:  yeah 71. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE:  yes ugh unfortunately 72. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: i dunno probably not that important for that  73. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: yes

74. BEEN ARRESTED: almost 75. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yes 76. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: yes!! im demi

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. YOURSELF:  sometimes?  78. MIRACLES: no 79. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: kinda 80. SANTA CLAUS: no

81. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: if it feels right!

82. ANGELS:  in a sense

OTHER:

84. EYE COLOUR:  blue 85. FAVOURITE MOVIE: thatS SO HARDDDDD ugh probably princess mononoke 

[reesebird]

New Post has been published on https://reesebird.com/2019/03/23/in-laws-care-more-about-husbands-ex/

In-laws care more about husband's ex

Four years ago my husband and I started hanging out. He had a few months prior broken up with his ex gf (we will call her R). When he had met R, she was pregnant with another man’s child. Him and R dated for 3 years and he raised the child as his own. They lived here with his parents, just as we due rn due to financial reasons. They break up and she moves out.

So around the same time we start seeing each other, R has also already moved on and is dating someone new. However, R still constantly drops her kid off for the weekend ‘to spend time with her grandparents’. While I do low level interact with them, it has only been a bit in relationship and know my place. A few months after us dating, the little girl lets slip that her mommy is pregnant with the new dude.

This continues for a couple years. Now, what you should know is my MIL is very manipulative and uses ppl. She makes sure to remind my husband everytime that this girl is HIS little girl. And I could respect that fact, if thats the path they wanted to take. But as the years pass and she gets older and has a routine with her ‘new dad’, little sister, and mom, school, etc and he also moves on, it has become very much his parents trying to reinforce the relationship to still see their ‘grandchild’. My husband had a bit of an unhealthy relationship with alcohol (wonder why) and MIL would make him feel guilty for not spending enough time with little girl etc.

Remember I said R got pregnant with her new bf? So that little girl is 3 now, and they call her their granddaughter too. And she also gets dropped off for the weekend too, though they dont come as often as they used to. One day my husband and I came home and they were all in living room. Older girl says ‘hi dada’ and younger girl copying big sister also says ‘hi dada’ even though she has no idea who my husband is. Everyone but me and him laughs and tell her thats not her dada yet no one tells her what to call him.

Tbh I think his parents became so obssesed with R’s kids bc it didnt seem my husband could have kids and my SIL does not want them, so it was their chance to be grandparents. But now we have a 4 month old child. We have no desire to be part of akward family situation with his ex. And I will admit, it annoys the ever living hell out of me that our daughter does not get to experience the excitement of being the first grandchild even though she is the only one.

For most part, we stay in our room or leave the house when his ex and/or the girls come over. Have no desire to interact with them, however its not our house so not our decision. However, I feel sad bc they are truly more invested in her and her kids. Most of time it feels more as if R was their child rather than my husband.

So we know its hard for me to talk face to face whats bothering ne. I dunno why. Probably bc i frustrate cry n i hate that shit…

I hate bc in many ways i feel like a prisoner. I have this tiny space to call my own (so to speak). Everyday we spend here i resent his parentd more and more. Im over ridden with guilt bc i had every intention of being a certain way with them with our daughter, but it gets harder and harder to be around them and certain shit that gets said does not make feel comfortable not being around when they are with her. I cry bc its not fair to my daughter but i know i am going to despise coming here once we move out. Ive tried to at least do a little bit but then his mother wanted to go boo hoo on fb about not seeing her and make me look like bitch, im like why tf am i trying then. And i know she is little but seeing how R’s kids got toys for xmas and all my daughter got was a collector bear thats gonna go away in a box, an outfit thats already too small for her, then some other cheap lil outfit hurt a lot. My own mother way over did it, i was kinda annoyed but i felt like she was an afterthought here at my in-laws, like they had to buy her something since they bought R’s kids stuff

A lot of this is just venting, I don’t like talking about it to lot of ppl bc well I don’t like me dirty laundry in public

[midoriyasbones]

1-155

what have i done...

1: Full name

not comfortable giving online... so you’re getting Juiliet Capulet

2: Age

16

3: 3 Fears

the dark

abandonment/being forgotten

bees

4: 3 things I love

writing

voltron

all star cheerleading

5: 4 turns on

humor

good communicator

patience

a working knowledge of psychology

6: 4 turns off

selfish/manipulative

communism

unsanitary bathrooms

the triggered meme.

7: My best friend

irl: @theoceansaresoup and @thecoastisclare

online: @momiswearimnotgalra

8: Sexual orientation

//sweats// pansexual...?

9: My best first date

i dont think i’ve ever had one really...

10: How tall am I

5 foot 5!

11: What do I miss

emotional stability.

12: What time were I born

7:30 in the morning

13: Favourite color

yellow!

14: Do I have a crush

yEs

15: Favourite quote

‘A girl is a gun’

16: Favourite place

anywhere thats not home

17: Favourite food

CHICKEN SOFT TACOS WITH CHEESE AND SOUR CREAM

18: Do I use sarcasm

too much tbh

19: What am I listening to right now

C418

20: First thing I notice in new person

intelligence

21: Shoe size

women’s 5

22: Eye color

brown

23: Hair color

brown

24: Favourite style of clothing

uh... sweatpants??

25: Ever done a prank call?

nope

27: Meaning behind my URL

i just really fuckign love tacos man

28: Favourite movie

Singing in the Rain

29: Favourite song

Smoke Filled Room - Mako

30: Favourite band

C418

31: How I feel right now

p good

32: Someone I love

@medlie

33: My current relationship status

single

34: My relationship with my parents

s t r a i n e d

35: Favourite holiday

Cheerleading Worlds Weekend

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

my ears are pierced??? does that count...

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

‘vaccinate your fucking kids’ on my forehead tbh (jk)

i actually want a little star on my wrist... for FotS... (only bes

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

dunno

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

my last ex is @momiswearimnotgalra and no we definitely do not

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

never.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

nope

42: When did I last hold hands?

8th grade i think?????

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

mom thinks 3 hours but tbh its like 15 minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

i haven’t shaved them since june of 2016 *laughing*

45: Where am I right now?

office

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

the coroner bc if i drank i’d DIE

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

BOTH

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

yes

49: Am I excited for anything?

graduating

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

not really

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

all the time

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

/??????

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

never been kissed ://

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

myself ://

55: What is something I disliked about today?

cant name it.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

JEREMY SHADA

57: What do I think about most?

my writing

58: What’s my strangest talent?

ive never lost a game of rummikube

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

bees.

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

both.

61: What was the last lie I told?

‘yeah im ok’

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

both??? //sweats//

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

i dunno man

64: Do I believe in magic?

i dunno man

65: Do I believe in luck?

i dunno man

66: What's the weather like right now?

cold, but a nice night

67: What was the last book I've read?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

noooo

69: Do I have any nicknames?

jules, jui,

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?

a dog once nearly scratched my eye out

71: Do I spend money or save it?

save

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

a pink index card

74: Favourite animal?

cant choose!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

writing. i shit you not.

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

what the fuck kind of question is this

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

World Cup Shooting Stars Cheer Mix 2014-2015 :’)

78: How can you win my heart?

never leave

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

‘well that was anti-climatic’

80: What is my favorite word?

drowsy!

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

@thebootydiaries

@elentori-art

@theoceansaresoup

@momiswearimnotgalra

@thecoastisclare

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

‘vaccinate your fucking kids’

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

nope

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

the power to know what to say

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

‘Are you manipulative?’

86: What is my current desktop picture?

Voltron.

87: Had sex?

too personal and too hard to define

88: Bought condoms?

nope

89: Gotten pregnant?

nope im gay

90: Failed a class?

no

91: Kissed a boy?

no

92: Kissed a girl?

no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

no

94: Had job?

minecraft??

95: Left the house without my wallet?

every damn day

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

 NO

97: Had sex in public?

no

98: Played on a sports team?

unfortunately

99: Smoked weed?

no

100: Did drugs?

no

101: Smoked cigarettes?

no

102: Drank alcohol?

whats an alcohol

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

no

104: Been overweight?

no

105: Been underweight?

yes

106: Been to a wedding?

yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

longer

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

no

109: Been outside my home country?

no

110: Gotten my heart broken?

yes

111: Been to a professional sports game?

yes

112: Broken a bone?

not sure

113: Cut myself?

yes

114: Been to prom?

yes

115: Been in airplane?

yes

116: Fly by helicopter?

no

117: What concerts have I been to?

INDIANA SYMPHONY LMAO

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yes

119: Learned another language?

yes

120: Wore make up?

yes

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

too personal and too hard to define

122: Had oral sex?

no

123: Dyed my hair?

no

124: Voted in a presidential election?

no

125: Rode in an ambulance?

no

126: Had a surgery?

yes

127: Met someone famous?

no??

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

no

129: Peed outside?

yes

130: Been fishing?

yes

131: Helped with charity?

yes

132: Been rejected by a crush?

yes :’)

133: Broken a mirror?

no

134: What do I want for birthday?

Tarte Make Believe In Yourself Palette

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

no idea to both

136: Was I named after anyone?

no

137: Do I like my handwriting?

ehhhhh

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

LITTLEST PET SHOP

139: Favourite Tv Show?

Voltron

140: Where do I want to live when older?

california???? maybe... definitely nyc tho

141: Play any musical instrument?

3, clarinet, piano, and trumpet

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

slipped and fell and slammed my shin into a picnic table

143: Favourite pizza topping?

nothing.

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

yes

145: Am I afraid of heights?

no

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

yes

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yes

148: What I'm really bad at

judging emotions

149: What my greatest achievements are

getting fan art made of my fan fics

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

‘You use your intelligence to put others down’ or something along those lines. i know im smart, but i dont use it to make others feel stupid. i do however correct people when they’re wrong. im sorry if you cant bother to look things up after you see them once (1 time) on tumblr like okay.

151: What I'd do if I won in a lottery

cry then buy my school a fine arts center

152: What do I like about myself

good writer!

153: My closest Tumblr friend

@cherishtheadolesence

154: Something I fantasize about

acceptance

155: Any question you'd like?

what’s my iq? 156 last i checked

[rhuemis]

13

13. Introduce your current party.

hoo boy so we got: 

-Scales

-Rhys

-Jeckyl

-Isiah

imma put the lengthy descriptions under a read more aha

Scales ((I dont think Scales even has a surname lmfao)):

-Warlock but insists that hes the party medic

-A white dragonborn that was born without scales due to a birth defect who has more than a few screws lose, calls himself a ‘doctor’ and we cant quite tell whether thats the truth or not

-Grew up in a brothel and now travels with the party to gain ‘medical knowledge’ whatever that means

-Has dissected the corpse of a literal god, harvests organs from whatever we kill and puts them all into bottles and then offers to transplant them into you if you get even remotely injured 

-Is already mildly possessed but then ate some of the tentacles from a weird squid god for fun and then got DOUBLE possessed and tentacles shot out of his mouth and we had to drag him to a temple 

-Something burst out of his chest one morning and now its his familiar. We were all stood at the door to his room like ‘This is Scales, this could just be part of his morning routine for all we know.’

- Speaks with a heavy German accent which makes anything Scales does like 4000 times better

-Isiah has literally promised his corpse to Scales

- Despite his quirks is protective of his party and deserves a pat on the snoot every so often

 Rhys Lignius

- Half-elf sorcerer that currently has more levels in warlock than sorcerer

- hes the mom friend of the group and is a pretty serious guy, hes the one who gets shit done but not before he monologues so hard that the rest of us party members say ‘oh fuck no im not listening to Rhys’ spiel again’

-Came from a very important family and is very proud of his Latian heritage, doesnt let you forget that hes a big fuckin deal lmao hes on a mission to do something in relation to his father but hes not quite spilled on exactly what yet, hes just trying to get to some ancient ruins

- Is so much of an actual loser that whenever he casts Prestidigitation he clicks his fingers and the whole party has started doing it back at him jokingly

-Despite being a square we all love him and hes probably the most reliable in the group. Lawful Good™.

-Flavours my bacon.

-Is the metaphorical designated driver of the party, cleans up after us shit monkeys.

-Is physically around 22 years old but might as well be 55 years old.

Jeckyl Corvus:

- Newest party member, a half-elf rogue that keeps getting cockblocked from actually stealing anything

-Wrote a really intense anonymous love letter to my character and slid it under his room door at a tavern a few years before the campaign started after watching him perform and recognises Isiah but Isiah doesnt realise it was him who wrote the letter yet

-Spent some time in gay baby jail for being part of a group of thieves that got bamboozled by a rich and powerful family and was abandoned by the people he thought of as family.

-Wanted to be a tailor in the years before his taste for adventuring kicked him in the nards. He ended leaving his family to go and explore but this decision ultimately ended up with his family being stripped of everything they had so now hes plagued by The Guilt™. Wants to eventually save/steal enough money to get his family back on it’s feet again.

-Rugged and handsome but the most important thing you need to know about Jeckyl is that he keeps a pet mouse in his pocket named Rupert and that one day Jeckyl wants to fucking transmute him into an owl or some shit because he just cannot be satisfied huh. ‘Oh Rupert was my only friend whilst I was living on the streets blah blah blah’ yeah sure tell that to his face whilst you go fuckin Fullmetal Alchemist on his ass. Love Rupert for the contents of his character, not his form smh.

-Acts suave and cool but loses all of that composure when it comes to Isiah. Would probably commit sepukku if Isiah died. 

-Has a lot of knives, which Scales finds ‘respectable’. 

-First combat fuckin crits the fish plant man that had Isiah grappled 15ft underwater out of sheer gay panic. RIP Shape of Water fish man, you’ll be sorely missed.

Isiah Vakalyn:

-My character so you know hes....really something. Half-elf bard.

-Comes from a weirdly strict family who were actually fucking cultists and were ((and probably still are)) planning on sacrificing him to a demon or some shit but Isiah didnt even notice this shit and still has no idea. He thought everybody was taught Infernal and that families were just like that. His family told him to become a bard and he obeyed. They told him study and he obeyed. They limited his interaction to the outside world and he only really started thinking for himself after he made his first proper friend who then also later fucked him over real bad.

-Ran away from home after being cucked by his “only friend” into maybe murdering her dad we dunno if he died or not but I sure did stab him a lot. She lied and told him she was being abused by her dad and Isiah saw red and agreed to her murder plot only to be abandoned midway through. He also pickpocketed for her for like a year beforehand bc she said she was poor. She was very not poor. Bring on the subsequent trust issues.

-Is a bard but hates getting attention so he wears a black rabbit mask when he performs in front anything that isnt a small crowd. He found that mask in his house so you know thats gonna be some spooky cult shit.

- Is only 5′4 and is very conscious of it. Luckily the party is very understanding and calls him ‘the halfling’ or ‘the midget’ lovingly to watch him implode.

-Once accidentally stole a dwarven baby. Named it Isiah jr.

-Has a pet eel named Illius who is the most fuckin talented eel you’ll ever find. He glows! He talks! He beats your ass at card games! Translates languages! We found him behind a door that was sealed by magic and was only opened after Isiah played the music notes on the map we found. Those notes were an exert of a song by the most famous of all bards, Rickus Astelyus. Lo and behold behind the door was a huge tanks with a heckin good boy inside and Isiah adopted him IMMEDIATELY. Loves bacon bits and scritches.

-Received an anonymous love letter a few years back that gives him major anxiety and literally avoids the city he got it from. RIP Jeckyl youre gonna have to talk to him about that, Isiah is oblivious and has no idea lmao.

- Loves to eat bacon and recently bought out the bacon from the local tavern. Feeds some to Illius because its what he deserves. He’s also currently carrying a fuckton of bread, cheese, jam, and flour. Food is practically his way of diplomacy as he gives some to whoever he meets. It’s almost like his way of nervous self-defence. When tentacles shot out of Scale’s mouth Isiah just started shovelling bread into the tentacles and Scales woke up feeling incredibly full lmao.

-Has also in his inventory: a gay erotica book, a romance novel in a language he cant read, a rainbow slinkie, a magic mood ring that gives him poison resistance, 6 wolf teeth, a wolf leg bone, some gems, 4 days worth of rations on top of all the food he already has, a violin, a flute, and a fancy lute that he found in Illius’ chamber.

-Hes just nervous but loud mouthed and contradicts himself a lot. Anxious and eccentric. Says that hes just a bard and wasnt meant for any kind of greater scheme but the universe has other plans.

-Was once dabbed at by the god of entertainment, Apollon. ((Apollon is the only god Isiah really cares about lmao)).

and despite him not being in the party anymore im gonna give honorary mention to my favourite skyrim-glitch-of-a-barbarian, Florys:

-Was the character of a guy who played with us for one session. At the beginning of the next session he was on webcam with us all and we were about to start playing when suddenly his camera cut out and he went offline and weve literally not seen from him since. He’s not been online in over a month now. Some common theories in our group is that hes off fighting ISIS or got arrested for weed right there and then.

-Due to this weird player disappearance our DM, Benjamin, had to take control of Florys whilst we looked for a new party member. In the session that the player disappeared from we didnt know if he was gonna come back or not so Benjamin had Florys suddenly contract a horrific stomach bug and was just in the tavern toilet presumably making a fuckin hole in the floor with the noise it apparently made lmfao Isiah actually had to try and play music over the top of Florys’ shitfest at one point and only just managed to drown the sound out. But as time went by days were eventually passing in the campaign and the player still hadnt come back so poor Florys was not having a great time in the bathroom for several DAYS.

-Eventually the DM realised that this player was not gonna come back and that the party was short on a tank so he started piloting Florys for a while to accompany us on our quest ((and miraculously recovering from his terrifying stomach illness)) but hed forgotten how the player said Florys was so just was making shit up on the fly. I specifically remember the original player of Florys saying ‘Oh Florys isn’t like those stereotypical dumb barbarians’ which is why I lost my shit when the Florys being piloted by the DM turned around and said ‘What the fuck is a triangle?’ ... Florys is practically brain-damaged at this point, I think it might be the DMs retribution for the player disappearing lmao

-Threw all of his hand axes into a river during one fight and then into a cieling the next, which provoked Isiah to jokingly call out: ‘Oh, Florys! You’re so handsome and cool!’ which Florys with his last 2 braincells took seriously. The handsome and cool line became an on-running meme and gets used whenever any of us fucks up lmao

-For some reason grew rlly attached to a piano he found in Illius’ chamber and carried it around with him out of two parts stubborness two parts piano LUST.

-We ended up using him as a mule to carry all of our heavy shit bc he’d just do it and he literally wouldn’t think anything of it.

-We found a giant birds nest and Florys for some reason picked it up and carried it away and got fucking kidnapped by a giant bird so now hes literally just in fucking sky somewhere sat in a birds nest and being flown around which is wild bc we expected the DM to just kill Florys but instead hes just in the fucking sky where he belongs. Like legit hes just sat in there. Hes just in the sky. Godspeed.

HEAVES I could write so much more but this is already incredibly lengthy so here take it

also @redthebattler idk if any of this would be interesting to you lmao