#a straight line doesnt mean shit if you suck

[pixelprofligate]

this is another Fallout London post. more of a rant but still:

because GOD this is really not good. maybe im just like really critical of stuff but so much of the mod just doesnt add up to...anything? most of the quests are uninteresting or outright present you with dialogue options that outright contradict themselves or basic established lore of the world they've set up, so many locations are near empty and boring as hell to try and explore, with a SIGNIFICANT number of the marked locations having literally nothing to find in them, some of them actually having nothing in them at all, there's tons of NPCs, both generic and some named that have, and i dont mean this hyperbolically, literally no dialogue at all, the mods full of things that are just wrong about britian, like posters calling the tower bridge london bridge, the combat encounters are regularly boring because all the factions are functionally the same in terms of equipment, lots of the weapons you can use have blatantly anachronistic modifications like actual real modern day attachments, all of the "new enemies" are just model swaps that use the same skeleton and movesets and often the same exact sounds as base fallout 4 enemies and often aren't even properly rigged for the skeletons they used (like the fucking assaultron replacement that just constantly clips thru its own model anytime it moves at all because they gave it a skirt it was never built to have), and on top of all of it, the mod itself just breaks all the time. there were multiple times quests couldn't progress because NPCs just didn't say the line of dialogue they were suppose to, completely softlocking their quests (this happened with every single main faction at least once), and to top it off most of the assets actually used in this mod weren't even made for it, most come from the Capital Wasteland Project, but even things like the terminals and most of the guns are just straight up from other mods. also, multiple terminal entries were just outright written by AI. and im not saying that like "oh theyre just poorly written so i assume its AI" i mean the lead dev in their discord fucking confirmed it and said he had no clue it happened. like i get a lot of people worked really hard on this, and i dont want to shit on them, but to call this mod "one of the best things fallout has seen in years" i think is a massive disservice to everything else fallout related weve seen since even 76 came out. this mod is a mess of ideas that rarely add up to anything interesting, with a story that gives you no real reason to care or engage with it, that leads to a fight that fucking sucks so much the final battle is terrible (you're forced into a melee fight with a weapon that isn't any of yours on a tiny catwalk where you have to beat the same guy TWICE in a row, and then he gets great mouse detectived), and ultimately never feels fulfilling. it does so little actually interesting with the factions it made or the area its set in and the fact people absolutely adore this mod fucking baffles me. this mod is not good. i genuinely want to know what people like about this because i cannot understand a single aspect of it, ESPECIALLY the people saying this is better than like, base Fallout 4 itself.

[familyagrestefanblog]

Gabriel vs Adrinette

Not that it isn't the expected Fandom reaction to hate Gabriel to all hells for standing in between the Love Square becoming canon, but regarding the Gabriel is against Adrien being in a relationship with Marientte thing, people are right now kinda ignoring something major from “Perfection”

More (and ALOT of spoilers; also for “Emotions”) under the cut

The end credit scene of "Perfection" gave us a shockingly solid reason for that. This isnt “Chat Blanc” logic where Gabriel broke Adrinette up to akumatize Marinette, or simply for shits and giggles. After Gabriel akumatized Kagami in “Perfection” - where the akuma went into her ring - Tomoe literally walzed into Gabriel’s office, throwing hands and threatening him:

Alright, first of all: HELL YES Tomoe, good on you for immediately defending your daughters safety and life after Gabriel carelessly endangered Kagami’s EXISTENCE. Again, the megakuma went into Kagami’s ring. If Kagami hadnt managed to break free of the akumatization herself (something Gabriel tried to STOP her from btw) through her friends wholesome love and care for her, then at some point Ladybug and Chat Noir might have found a way to break her akuma object and THAT would have fucking killed Kagami.

It doesnt matter how unlikely it was for that to happen, point still stands that Tomoe is 100% right. Gabriel endangered Kagami’s LIFE by akumatizing her like this. Tomoe going at his throat was justified because she is a mother looking out for her daughter.

BUT

This is not where the threat remained and you cant just ignore that going onwards:

The shot composition and the way Gabriels hand moves in the gif above pretty much speak for themselves because your eyes are automatically drawn to Gabriels wedding ring; and what that means should be ridiculously obvious at this point: Adrien.

Look, after “Perfection” and ESPECIALLY “Emotion” I dont care anymore how many layers deep in denial you still are about Adrien, Kagami and Félix being Sentihuman. If you still havent accepted that then this isnt the post for you, sorry. No offense, but I’m continuing. 

As I said, as justified as Tomoe 100% IS to go off on Gabriel for endangering Kagami, you cant just ignore that she then literally threatened to do the same under tighter terms. Tomoe didnt threaten to destroy Gabriel HIMSELF, reveal him to the public or straight up kill him as he almost did Kagami.

Tomoe countered the threat he posed to her daughters life by threatening Gabriel to kill ADRIEN, if Gabriel ever pulls something like this again or steps too far out of the line their contract created. Btw, probably this one from season 3 “Animaestro”:

(Funny how quite some people already guessed back then that his has something to do with an arranged marriage for Adrien and Kagami. If this is indeed the contract Tomoe is referring to, then that assumption years ago was correct!)

Adrien just like Kagami is an innocent child in their parents massive plan of power and control. Tomoe threatened to kill an innocent child, Gabriel’s child, and Gabriel took that bloody serious as he should as Adrien’s father:

In this conversation both Tomoe and Gabriel acted from their position and role as PARENTS.

As much as Gabriel is a fuck awful human being who deserves his comeuppance, no, Tomoe is not justified in lowering the worth of Adrien’s life and ENDING it as a punishment for Gabriel just because GABRIEL carelessly put Kagami in a position of life-threatening danger. Dont applaud Tomoe when she defended her daughter and then turn around and play deaf when she threatened the life of Gabriel’s son. Tomoes target should be GABRIEL and Gabriel ONLY.

But she didnt. Tomoe is the one with more power in her hands and she spoke the threat that if Gabriel doesnt/cant uphold his side of their contract she will make ADRIEN the price Gabriel has to pay.

Excuse me if I’m not just ignoring this because its inconvenient for the Love Square. It sucks that we dont have all the context bc Gloob refused to respect the chronological order, but as for now Gabriel isn't so fircely against Adrinette because hes a monster and hates his son’s happiness itself, the situation is ALOT more complicated than that.

And I’m pointing it out because I honestly didnt expect the show to not just make Gabriel an even bigger threat to the Love Square as he already was til now because of the same ol’ neglective and unreasonably harsh demands by principle that make Adrien miserable.

No, Gabriel has an ACTUAL reason for this now in s5. In the “Protection” trailer we already heard that Adrien and Kagami were basically “made for each other” from the start by their parents alliance and we saw that reinforced in “Emotion” by them being the King and Queen of the Diamond Ball (and apparently the main jewels of this creppy rich cult...)

Look, I'm not anywhere close to saying that Gabriel standing between the love square and now having it more and more out for Marinette as a civilian is even a fraction of GOOD (I shouldnt even need to state this but I know this fandom. Save is save.)

But I AM saying that among all the other things that have now made a 180 degrees turn for the season 5 narrative, the reasons and motivations for Gabriels abusive parenting have also changed to a different extreme direction that... you can actually understand from his perspective in these massively fucked up circumstances Gabriel himself has created on every level for his own son for the last 15 years and before Adrien was even born.

(this is in every way still on Gabriel, that's a base-line truth)

So if Adrien and Kagami are already promised to each other and Tomoe EXPECTS that Gabriel's side of the contract is upheld as promised - so Adrien being Gabriel's perfect heir and Kagami's future husband (same goes for Kagami) - then YES, Gabriel is not so fircely against Adrinette for no reason.

Cause as much as she would hate this in every way, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, her love and Adrien's growing feelings for her ARE currently a life-threatening factor putting a target on Adrien's head. Our love birds just dont KNOW that!

And that is in my opinion a much more interesting way to approach the season where Marinette and Adrien finally find each other. The love square is 100% in the right of course and the narrative treats it that way, but the prince's cruel father - the king - is not out here now having it out for his sons Knight/love just because he's a dick. The prince is already promised and the king was threatened by the other more powerful ruler - he gets his weaponry from and the prince is promised to their daughter - that if the prince isn't doing exactly what he is supposed to do then the king will receive his sons head on a spear.

Thats not something I have in me to pretend like Gabriel has no reason whatsoever to... not WANT.

The man doesnt want this son dead. No matter what the situation is or how Gabriel handles it, that... that parental instinct by itself I get and be honest, so do YOU.

100% still on the warmongering mad kings past and current actions and decisions - he put his prince in this position - but I can still absolutely get behind why the King now gets even more dangerous, overprotective and controlling and is against his son finding true love, when up til now the king HIMSELF has neglected and abused his son so much that the prince went out finding love and happiness elsewhere (Also, the prince has the damn humanright to live his own life, thank you very much)

Listening to his father less and less and escaping out of his grasp which formerly was “merely punishable disobedience” (if noticed), but NOW the kings neglect and abuse has lead to circumstances and behavior from his son that under these new heightened stakes are basically causing the prince to get/getting (himself) killed.

In my opinion, this is the best way the show could have handled this. And it completely caught me by surprise because at this point I didnt DARE to hope that the show would create circumstances of Gabriel standing between the love square that actually give the complexity of the Family Agreste story the justice they deserves. Gabriel Agreste doesnt have to be RIGHT or anything but the villain of the story to be an understandable but still cruel villain father. I love this. Fucking thank you!

But another reason why I love this, is because it tightens the noose Gabriel created for his families fate in “Destruction” - by cataclysming himself - so much further:

This was already a more than amazing upgrade for Gabriel’s and Nathalie’s villain motivations. No matter what was in s1-s4, the new stakes of “if we dont win, Adrien will loose us both and be all that's left of our family” simply ARE understandable and even sympathetic villain parent motivations.

Now, what is DONE with this for Gabriel and Nathalie respectively is a different question, but THIS reasoning is a worthy moral noose for a villain parent (both of them). THIS is a great family conflict and it was only made BETTER by Tomoe's threat in “Perfection”.

And it doesnt even paint Gabriel as anything BUT the villain of the story, who is the root of all of the horrible dangers/losses for which Adrien is now put in place and to be the one who has to pay for his father’s sins. Gabriel and even Nathalie is set up to escape the full brunt of the consequences of their actions by death. But what about Adrien when everything Agreste related goes to hell and he's the only one LEFT?

I’m not saying this is necessarily what’s also about to play out in Canon. These are the current STAKES of the Agreste Family because of Gabriel himself. But may I say, the situation was never more morally complex than right now.

I cant wait to see how much further the s5 Agreste story goes, this is AMAZING!

[honeyxgang]

im slowly being forced outta retirement bc nobody is writing the fic ideas i have in my head so to start here’s some waka headcanons. mostly sfw but gets spicy toward the end so yktv mdni

Short King Waka Headcanons 🤲

SFW

doesnt just like trolling people, he can also be very playful

actually did really well in school just didnt like going relatable

shit almost went left in his youth with alcohol but his friends helped him through shoutout to the final timeline

loves kissing and his favorite feature on a potential love interest is lips so hope you’ve been hydrating. bonus points if you have on a gloss instead of lipstick. the shine catches his attention

is eternally grateful to rihanna for fenty gloss he’s now willing to go to war for her

if he really likes someone he gives them a nickname

is very physically affectionate. hugs, cuddles, holding hands, etc he doing allat

since he has an oral fixation he actually takes really good care of his teeth + makes sure his lips are always moisturized

aka straight, white teeth + and a literal perfect smile 😩

wears cologne. he smells delicious. probably the mixture of the cologne and pheromones

doesnt enter into romantic relationships often instead being more likely to flirt casually with absolutely no intention of it going anywhere/the occasional one night stand

believes in letting girls down gently if they do catch feels though

team his parents are alive. no sibs though

gets mistaken for a child me too

has a motorcycle and a car (i see him as a man with money idc idc idc)

deflee into rap, hip hop, and r&b

comes off very very very aloof until he gets to know someone. he’s not shy through

some girls are disappointed to get to know him and find out he’s not even the stereotypical bad boy/fuckboy. dude watches documentaries and enjoys learning new things and is completely unashamed of that and would probably be first to apologize in a fight. his version of netflix & chill is him putting on a wwii documentary and you not being there

that’s one way to pique his interest though teach him something he didnt know before

wears other jewelry too (necklace, bracelet)

the type of bf who would lose his mind if you got a necklace with his name or initials

very laidback and slow to anger

he fought in his youth because he was targeted for his height. then he kept fighting bc he liked throwing his weight around 🤷‍♀️

hates bugs to the point where he might make you go kill whatever has got in 😐

could use some work with verbal communication (“im glad manjiro died” cmon bruh. ik that happened in one of the fucked up timelines however im sure he still sucks bc he only talks to 3 people)

by that i mean he can come off sounding harsh af when that’s not his intention. unfortunately he’s a straight arrow. hope you have tough skin

NSFW

keeping in line w black twitter’s “dudes w the best d” ranking since he is both skinny and short he is hung like a horse that’s where his height went and knows what he’s doing when laying pipe 🤌

high school was a very horny time for him

you would not fucking guess that just by looking at him and idk where he tucks his third leg

seriously theres always a moment of silence when he gets his pants off. whoever is about to have their spine realigned is like 👀 and he’s just sitting there like 😏

tripod is long and thick good luck sis 🫡

doesn’t do one night stands often or at his place bc once somebody gets a taste they’re ready to commit to his dick marriage

uses condoms bc he’s not ready for fatherhood. if he doesn’t have any he’s not penetrating. yall can do oral though

1000/10 in bed because he likes eating pussy AND will fold you into the mattress 🧎‍♀️

loves getting his dick sucked and he 100% believes in dsl’s 🫦

they gotta look natural though. he has a grudge against kylie jenner for influencing so many people to get botched lip injections 😒

he’s gonna watch bc the way somebody lips stretch to fit him + get all red and plump from putting in work? >>>>>>>

100% the type to grab hair

and the headboard

also will push your knees to your chest if yall in missionary seriously he’s small but man’s is strong

comes to the slow conclusion that he’s an ass man and therefore loves anything from behind

if you’re sending nudes gon head and send something in a thong or g string. if you haven’t heard from him in a few days he might call you

will spank you. just be ready for that

believes life is too short for bad sex and therefore is permanently on demon time 😮‍💨

you’re going to question all of your life choices once youve survived finished. also good luck walking

maybe take a day off work

in conclusion i am down bad

[goatpaste]

What's wrong with daiya? I have no context for jojolion, so idk what's gross about her. Is it her ability or is she involved in questionably sexual situations like Lucy (all i know is daiya is 16 and wears a bear costume). Is Joshu really that bad btw? All i know is fans of jojo find him annoying, but dies the story narrative and characters call him out on his bullshit at least, because if so, I think i can read it more easily than i could with SBR

So yeah diayas one of the first of the higashikata family that gets an intro chapter and it's literally like

She is mostly blind and norisuke her dad and head of the house is like ^^ ok josuke! Help her out a little this is gonna be your way of helping around the house!

And immediately as soon as it's diaya and josuke alone she takes advantage of josuke not knowing her ability to erase his memories to trap him by her side so he will fall in love with her and nearly sleep with her.

And norisuke even catches josuke over diaya in her bed as she's partially undressed and is like upset he's making moves on diaya but doesn't actually stop it

And they really make a point to let you know diaya has the biggest boobs in the family

And it's just really gross an uncomfortable

And after her and josukes fight she chills out and is just like, follows him around like a duckling and helps him out for a bit then gets back seated in the family to minor appearances

But its very early chapters, it's really uncomfortable but then it kinda never touches on sexulizing her like that past that point

And yes joshu is so sooo annoying and gross. Iv said it in other post

But joshu is generally annoying and spends every moment being mean to josuke because he thinks josukes trying to steal yasuho from him, despite yasuhos disinterest in him

Which whatever. Annoying but woulda been whatever

But then he also takes every chance he can to feel up and try and sex up yasuho even in the final fight where shits like?? On the line?? He straight up tries to be freak nasty

AHH AND I ALMOST FORGOT HES LITERALLY GROSS TO HIS OWN MOTHER AND ATTWMPTS TO UNDRESS HER AS AN ATTEMPT TO HUMILIATE HER IN FRONT OF THE FAMILY BECAUSE HE DOESNT FULLY BELIEVE SHES HIS ACTUAL MOTHER

Joshu sucks he just sucks man

[aleksanderthemesschild]

Mantisdreammantisdreammantisdream

Ight, brainrot au. im just gonna put the text that I send to echo when I talked about it. Its very much based of different media that is making my brainrot cause it is on my insta fyp. Ill post some art of it when I get to it >:)

Theres this anime, based of a game, called cyberpunk:edgerunners, it's the one where I got the mantis dream idea from. The basic plot line of it is that there is this futuristic world that can use like bodily attachments to get stronger/quicker/better at fighting/ etc. And it goes on about how the government sucks and horny teens and bla bla bla, that's not as important for the brainrot. The important thing for the brainrot is the attachment parts, that you can enhance your body with stuff like that, and the fact that my entire fyp on instagram is filled with naruto and MHA, even tho I watch neither of them, and superhero brianrot that is based of another fic caused this au. So, the following brainrot: Similar to MHA, most people have some sort of power/quirk/whatever which they can use. Not everyone, but theres a healthy balance and no form of power imbalance as in the ones with power are above those who dont have powers. They vibe together and work together with no issue. Well, as in mha, there is a form of superhero community that prevents disasters. They more like overpowered fireman that most of the time use their powers to safe people from people who just want to wreck havoc. And alot of people want to be a part of it, but arent allowed to because maybe their powers would be better at another part or it would take too many resource to train them to their fullest potential that they want, so they get the option into another part, stuff like that. Well there are three teens that have tried, but werent allowed in cause one could be replaced with better working attachments, his powers werent special enough (dream), one would have to go into way to intensified training to control his powers and it would be easier if he went in his father footsteps and became a medic (sapnap) and one would take to many resources and tries and errors to really get to his fullest potential, tho it would be easier if he worked in the it part of the commitee and not the fighting part (george). Doesnt mean those three stopped. They became vigilantes, practicing with eachother in abandoned buildings to become stronger and help more people efficiently. But greed is something that controls people. So when snf got a deal, where they rat out dream as vigilante and get him cought, they would be allowed and trained in the hero commitee. Cause being a vigilante was the most illegal thing and would get you 5 years prison and power constraints. Well they rat out dream and he is captured to go into pandoras vault, the last thing he sees is them getting pushed towards the exit by the warden, one of the heroes. What they thought was pandoras, really wasnt pandoras, as it was used to experiment with the limits of a human and with how much shit they can be pumped full fo when it comes to powers and attachments. Cause powers are transferable, people just dont do it caus eit often times ends with agony or death. But who cares about prisoners who at the end of the day will end up just being numbers for datas. They would try out a power on a prisoner first, and depending on the reaction they were either forced into more testing or were used as play pretend to make pandoras seem like a normal prison. And ofcourse, dreams luck, it turns out his body can hold quite a bit. They would pump him full of powers or attachments that either prevented other powers (ei: him gettign an attachment that makes it so that wilbur would not be able to control him, him getting a power similar to foolishs to trick him, him getting a mix of both to be able to resist sapnaps fire if attacked straight on, etc.), only stopping if his body would completely crash or he would disobey, causing him to be punished. Most of those punishments were in some way connected to attachments he got (ie, the mantis arms) and used as pure conditioning. Cause his mind to break at some point, him obeying and listening to the wardens orders. Him and others that were close to his levels were trained to become perfect killing machines basically. But he was the number cause why the fuck not, brainrot demands it. Well, at some point the whole operation comes out, when snf came to pick up dream after five years and they said hat he was never part of pandoras, cause he wasnt, he was part of hell in a box. Them raiding pandoras, dream fighting a bunch of heroes cause the warden told him to, till like he breaks out of it somehow and breaks down and emotional stuff and him getting saved and stuff. The most of the au happens after, him getting money as compensation, getting a job a cafe where foolish and puffy work at, him getting closer to the two that betrayed him, the drunz plot, etc. Etc. Him just getting his life back after losing his teenage years n stuff

[wilsonfanboy]

Guys I watched Phone Booth yesterday fully expecting to love it but oh my god this movie sucks so much ass and is so infuriating I couldn’t even finish it

The concept is absolutely amazing I was so excited bc idk how they could fuck that up but SOMEHOW THEY DID

everyone in the movie is just dumb as rocks and can’t figure out what’s going on despite LITERALLY BEING WITHIN EARSHOT OF THE GUY IN THE PHONE BOOTH AS HE’S SAYING OUT LOUD THAT THE DUDE ON THE LINE HAS A GUN POINTED AT HIM

NOT ONLY THAT, BUT PEOPLE SOMEHOW THINK HE WAS THE ONE WHO SHOT THE GUY LITERALLY ASSAULTING HIM WHEN 1. HE WAS SHOT IN THE BACK WHILE FACING THE GUY SO THATS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE, PLUS THERE WAS NO WEAPON AND 2. HE WOULDVE BEEN WITHIN HIS RIGHTS TO DO SO (in America) BECAUSE HE WAS LITERALLY ASSAULTING HIM AND ATTEMPTING TO KILL HIM????

NOT ONLY THAT BUT IT PAINTS THE HOOKERS OUT IN THE MOVIE TO BE SOME “EVIL EMOTIONAL SLUTS WHO ARE LYING ABOUT THE GUY IN THE PHONE BOOTH” WHEN LIKE. IDK IF ITS JUST BC THE MOVIE WAS MADE IN 2003 BUT PEOPLE HAVE MORE COMMON SENSE THAN THAT LIKE WHAT THE FUCK MAN

PLUS, THE GUY ON THE LINE WAS DUMB AS SHIT TOO BC HE WAS CONSTANTLY TELLING THE GUY IN THE BOOTH TO RESPECT PEOPLE WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY FORCING HIM TO BE DISRESPECTFUL

THAT PIZZA GUY WAS LITERALLY TOLD WHAT TO DO WITH THE PIZZA BY THE GUY IN THE BOOTH (GIVE IT TO HOMELESS PEOPLE, WHICH IS ACTUALLY A NICE THING TO DO) BUT HE STRAIGHT UP WOULDNT LEAVE HIM ALONE AND, WHILE THE BOOTH GUY WAS RUDE, THAT DOESNT MEAN HE SHOULD FUCKING DIE FOR IT

NOT ONLY THAT, BUT HE WAS LITERALLY DOING WHATEVER HE COULD TO GET THE GUY WHO WAS THREATENING TO HURT HIM FOR LAWFULLY USING A PHONE BOOTH TO GO AWAY, AND WAS LITERALLY BEGGING HIM TO LEAVE AND OFFERING HIM MONEY, BUT THEN THE GUY ON THE LINE WAS LIKE “erm…youre actually not being respectful enough to him to I’m still gonna shoot you”

MOTHERFUCKER HE WAS BREAKING IN THE GLASS WITH A BASEBALL BAT AND ASSAULTING HIM

I’m also not gonna touch on the cops stupidity because like. thats just normal like fuck cops

AND IM NOT SAYING THE GUY IN THE PHONE BOOTH IS A GOOD PERSON, HE’S CAPITALIST SCUM WHOS CHEATING ON HIS WIFE, BUT THE MOVIE COULDVE EXPANDED ON THAT MORE INSTEAD OF JUST MAKING EVERYONE FUCKIN STUPID LIKE CMON MAN

anyways that’s my review for phone booth 21 years late

3/10

[arolegos]

befotr tje day ends. I need like to Recap the stupid ass shit that happned today .

ok so . today (saturday), we had a test scheduled. HSK — it's a mandarin language test to examine chinese proficiency (think the mandarin version of IELTS) . yes I have a Lot of issues of it taking place on a saturday and in the first week of school, but i digress. i had accepted that this would happen last semester.

the examination takes place in a building just a little bit over an hour away from my house. whatever. ive driven to further places, thats not an issue. the test is scheduled to start at 9 and end at 12 but we're expected to arrive before 8 (to register our IDs n documents), so i wake up at 6 to get ready and drive off at 7. Not the worst either; i usually wake up earlier on normal school days.

FIRST ISSUE THAT ARISES. THE FUCKING TEACHERS WERE LATE.?.??? They were the mfs BITCHING on us to be early or else we'd get our names crossed off (meaning we'd have to Pay for the exam. that theyre FORCING US TO TAKE. I DONT FUCKING NEED HSK????? ONLY A FEW STUDENTS IN OUR GRADE DO?? LIKE. 5 IN TOTAL? IM NOT GOING TO A COLLEGE THAT REQUIRES HSK OR TOEFL. A MAJORITY OF MY CLASSMATES DONT NEED THIS. AND. they SWAPPED our mandarin topics from the casual one we were used to, to THIS.) . WHATEVER, YOU KNOW? i laughed it off w some friends while they distributed the paper documents to us. guess i gotta wait longer in line now because theyre late. whatever, try lining up for a ride in an amusement park, right? thereve been worse

test starts. i definitely flopped. not an issue, i already Knew id suck ass. my mandarin is INCREDIBLY limited and i can hardly hold a conversation (yes yes embarrassing as someone of chinese descent). a few people were held back because their computers lagged or shut down; fortunately, mine did not. laughed about my very likely 7/100 expected results with my friends. laughed at our answers (mine that was straight up ": (" because i forgot the pinyin for a word and couldnt put it down; my friend who wrote "我吃勺子" (i eat spoon); my friend who wrote "她喜欢他因为他给她一张纸" (she liked him because he gave her a piece of paper); my friend who forgot the word watermelon and literally wrote "我吃红水果用勺子." (i eat (the) red fruit with a spoon)

second test starts. its HSKK this time (speaking test). again, already knew id flop. it took me like 5 questions to realise i was meant to repeat what the speaker was saying into the mic for the first part (to clarify: the audio file does Not repeat for questions meaning i Missed those), and misread a question on the last that read "what activity is good for your body (physically)?" as "what activity do you like?", so my answer was "i like drawing". Laughed this off; me and my friends exchanged our stupid ass answers (some fun examples that i couldnt stop laughing at: when asked to repeat a sentence, my friend answered with her name; when asked to describe a situation where a woman is running late, my friend described what she wore; when asked "what activity is good for your body", my friend answered "my hair and face"; my friend who, when asked his chinese name, responded with "小妹")

30 minute break passes s'all fun joy and laughter. im in a great mood . amazing even.

fun heehees and hahas. great time overall tbh, even though i was for sure getting at most 12/100

and then Boom Im in despair

the staff entered the room and called 7 candidate numbers. Then he said; "Okay, you guys are free to leave. The rest of you, your tests had an error."

EXCUSE ME? 7? 7 OUT OF, WHAT, 90? ONLY 7 PEOPLE DIDNT GET AN ERROR?

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES THAT 4 OF THEM WERE MY FRIENDS?????

HELLO. THIS IS A PLACE SPECIFICALLY MEANT TO FACILITATE FOR AN ONLINE EXAM. .? WHY ARE THE COMPUTERS BREAKING.WHY ARE THE SERVERS LAGGING.....

WHAT.ever. NO issue. delay, that doesnt matter. still had other friends nearby so i left my seat to talk to them. 10 minutes pass and they try to restart every computers HSK software one by one — MINE for some reason REFUSED to close. WHATEVER. i just stayed with my friends for a bit longer.

40 MINUTES PASS. IM ON THE FLOOR LITERALLY PRAYING TO BUDDHA AND EVERY OTHER GOD IN THE UNIVERSE. I HAVE BLOOD STREAMING DOWN MY FACE I FEEL LIKE IM ABOUT TO TURN INTO ERROR SANS and then it works.

it closes after maybe 15 minutes. Okay. Thats fine. they boot up the software. Guess what fucking happens guess what hapIT LAGS. IT FUCKING LAGS IT GETS STUCK ON THE LOADINGFUCKING SCREEN. GUYS I FELT LIKE IT WAS 2020 AGAIN AND I WAS BOOTING UP GENSHIN IMPACT ON MY ON-THE-VERGE-OF-EXPLODING, DIY-BOMB LAPTOP, AND I WAS STUXK ON THE BRIDGE LOADIBG SCREEN. ALL MY FRIENDS? FUXKING CLEAR. THEY WERE FINE . IT WAS LITERALLY JUST ME.

Yay! 55 minutes of waiting ❤️ 80% of everyone who got an error has left, bc they already reloaded back and did the questions that were deleted off bc of the error. Test loads. im expecting to have to retake 2-3 questionsWRONG!!!!!

I HAD TO RETAKE NONE. ALL MY ANSWERS SAVED. IT JUST DECIDED TO ERROR AT THE VERG LAST SECOND I GUESS? BC ALLL MY ANSWERS WERE STILL THERE????????? i actually killed myself

my dad is there. I say hi, ask him if we're going home. he says NO. He Tells me we're waiting til 4 pm because my younger sister also had a HSK test scheduled today, but from 1 til 4 instead of my 9 to 12. Ok... i tell him thats Fine.

i submit and LEAVE. i CRY BLOOD AS I LEAVE. I GET OUT OF THE EXAM ROOM AT 1 PM. 1 PM. WHAT THE HELLwhatever.

friend leaves at 4 exact. i say Bye and smile and im happy as Fuck and then IM NOT. i look to my left and see my sisters classmages leaving; yay! yippe! fun! i get to finally leave this fucking place!

spent 1-2 hrs with my friends walking around the streets and then walking to a mall . my feet were killing me but the food we ate was GREAT. i had a fun fun time with my friends!!! since they were there when i discussed that w my dad, they had scheduled to leave at 4.

2 people get out and no more comes.

MY STOMACH SINKS.

guess what happened to my sister.Guess what happeTHE SAME SHIT HAPPEBED TO HER. COMPUTERS AND SERVERS WERE LAGGING AND CRASHING FUCKKKK OFFFFFFF

[hellfiremunsonn]

you look so pretty i didn't even notice the size difference for a second. Like, mine aren't that noticeable, but I guess cause my nips don't line up on a horizontal line it has to be mentioned?

Yeah, I was pretty sure these men weren't shit but also...like it felt good to be flirted with? To be seen as desirable? I have never really been in a "relationship" always the let's not label it or the "oh im talking to a guy who showed interest in me and- oh he's married well im blocking you now" (which the married thing has happened more than once, making me feel bad. Like, if they were in an open marriage or poly or whatever, I wouldn't care. But its like im like "isnt that...your wife?" And they get upset i find out like obviously you don't want her to know).

I know my friend didn't mean anything by her comment, so I'm not really mad at her. I think its moreso the guy who said it was a handful (I am a b, maybe c cup depending on the bra (usually its the band) but I think that because I have broad shoulders and a big rib cage, I am big boned i guess cause I am tall, they expect more??)

It just really fucked me up cause I was sitting here and I thought okay he was a piece of shit, and so I started scrolling through Tumblr and reading fanfiction because why not escape reality for a second, and it ended up being smut and I was like ah....my body doesnt...do that normally. And then it made me spiral thinking about every fic I've read (for example, Steve or Eddie) and how its all similar, and then I was like shit maybe I am weird? Like I get i shouldn't let fictional stuff bother me, cause it is fictional, but then I am like hm the men irl suck so why wouldn't it translate (I am not making it make sense like the characters would be fine I think but its like the fics all have similar anatomy i dont have making it seem as though it is normal, and the guys irl suck so they probably also expect that idk im gonna stop this sentence now).

I think the thing that truly bothers me is the fact that, if I am getting close enough to you to feel comfortable topless, because typically I am not, then that means I'm vulnerable and you really just basically stab me. You basically get me in a vulnerable state and go straight for the jugular

Ohgod, yeah I used to never take my top off or my bra off cause I was like nOPE YOU CAN'T SEE MY BOOBS!!!!!

Now I don't care as much because I've thankfully had more positive reactions?

And with fan fic, I try to write sex for reader how I enjoy sex? Which too be fair isn't much because I haven't had a lot of GOOD sex. I've had good moments in sex but never the whole thing. So I don't include a lot of nipple play or stimulation, because I personally don't get much pleasure from it, but I know my partners have so I let them do their thing, thus briefly adding it into fics just cause a mouth on a tit is a common occurrence for the most part.

I also always make sure to get reader to cum from clit stimulation because most vagina havers cannot cum from penetration alone. And I also add it hurting at first, because for me OFTEN times it's really uncomfortable at first, and sometimes it has felt like I'm losing my virginity all over again.

ANOTHER THING. This helps me when reading fics, but (Y/N) isn't me but she is me... Like she's a version of myself I have created to fit these fics, but it's not me me, she's her own character but she is MINE. if that makes sense? Like I have no interest in anal or anal play, but like (Y/N) ??? she'll do anything, and I love her for that.

ALSO, My titties literally get stuck in my armpits when I lay down and I have to pull them out before I get comfy. They be doing what they want I swear.

MEN ARE SHIT

But also voicing your insecurities, and just laying them out on the table sometimes helps! It's something I started to do unconsciously, but I would basically point out these things before someone else could do it, and do it maliciously. Like if I did my eyelashes wonky, I'd point it out right away, or maybe if my ass looked extra flat, or my hair was greasy. Because all our lumps and bumps and ridges, and dips, hairy, smooth, discoloured bits are all part of us, and make us each our own person.

idk where I was really going with this again, I kinda just started typing. But I hope you at least find the tiniest bit of comfort from talking it out with me.

[silvadraconis]

Emiya Alter & Mozart for the character ask me :D

Oh wow tumblr at my freakin notif for this XD so! this is super late! but here is my anwser for these two beans @maningrey0204

I'll start with emyia alter Fave thing- gods its hard to choose XD i think its the fact that he has a notebook to write things down. silly i know but, his memory is so bad and hes so nihilistic and pragmatic about it all, but he still writes down the important stuff to look back on later. least fave thing- yeah defiantly has to be his og design in jp, caused alot of backlash and kinda gave him a bad rap, so most people dont look deeper into him Favorite line- you know the line, where he talks about how in his valentine with the lifeline, where it'll suck, it'll rip up your hands, you'll bleed and hurt but he'll pull you up no matter what? yeah good shit, i rotate that shit constantly in my brain, i could ramble forever about his valentine scene honestly Brotp- voyager voyager listen listen this man who holds no hope for himself whos so jaded and cynical caring for this literal embodiment of hope the hope he doesnt have for himself but that he still fights for as a hollow hero of justice this man who made himself a weapon a tool a thing holding and caring for this tiny star child that was born from a machine and the hopes of humanity its GOOD opt- ive never really thought about it honestly XD but the line he has for cualter has me interested, so i could maybe see them as being two flavors of pragmatic dramatics notop- fucking kiara, no, stop it random headcannon- you can tell how bad his memory issues are by how many golden lines cover his body as hes walking around chaldea. also i dont think this is a headcannon but ive given him the nickname kit, in reference to the japenese pottery technique kintsugi, because hes strove so hard to become nameless, but, he still deserves to be called something, he deserves his own name unpopular opinion- is it unpopular to say i like him? XD like, i like him just as he is, edgy brooding behavior and all. i dearly want him to see hes something more than just a weapon but that doesnt mean i want to change him entirely other than that uhhh, i dunno, hes not a very popular character so beyond seeing people dislike his jp design and his attitude i havent seen much in the way of peoples opinions Song i associate with him- The Only Thing I Know for Real by Jamie Christopherson- its a song for i think metal gear that i just randomly stumbled across and it gave me *instant* emyia alter vibes fave pic- i like the summer ce with him billy and geronimo, it always makes me happy seeing him hanging out with people ------- Alright mozart time! Favorite thing about them- i love how unabashedly himself he is, usually when people think that theyre just awful or garbage that it comes with a sort of depressed outlook- and while he still needs some bonking on that thinking- there is something nice that hes just so, alive? about it all. im wording it weirdly but, hes both got confidence and no confidence in equal measures and its interesting least favorite thing about them- his silly fucking hat XD his outfit is fine but the *hat* why- Favorite line- i could probably wax on about some of the things he says to you and mash in orleans but, honestly? his valentines scene, i think if memory serves me its on the ce, but it might be in the actual scene, where he offers to play for you if you cant sleep. makes me soft brotp- sanson XD sanson is very straight-laced compared to his more, whimsical vibes, they work great XD its funny opt- listen listen, poly with marie and sallie, its good shit its fucking quality

notp- you know, i havent actually seen a ship that makes me like, recoil, then again i dont really go looking so let me just knock on wood right quick- but yeah, i dont have anything here, lets hope it stays that way Random headcannon- this man will wear cat ears without hesitation unpopular opinion- i dont, find him that annoying honestly? a bit yeah sometimes but we have worse in chaldea, hes not that bad, i like him song i associate with him- well its. mozart so XD anything by mozart. barring that its nyancat, he just has huge catboy energies XD favorite picture- local fucking musician has *all* the goddamn art made about him so i have plenty to choose from- id say my fave is the wolf one, where he has the wolf pelt on his shoulder? good shit so yeah! :D thats these two beans, thank you for the ask!!

[pepprs]

this prof is literally fucking insane i know thats mean but she straight up calls people out in front of everyone for not having done their homework or for being absent from class or for doing their assignments poorly or for having their cameras off and its like... dominique i really and truly hate to break it to you but your 2.5 hour tuesday evening class is really not as important as you think it is

[dr4cking]

Can i request a reader x Draco smut based on they are bff's and both have a crush on each other so, the sexual tension between them explodes? Ofc if you want to.

Finally.

draco malfoy x reader | smut | anon requested.

a/n : hi thank you for requesting! this is my first request, i tried my best and i hope you like it! <3

y/n and draco has been best friends since they were born, their parents being best friends too makes them two inseparable. like now, they were watching a muggle movie snuggling to each other in malfoy manor, in draco’s bedroom to be exact. it was a summer break, two weeks before they going back to hogwarts. luckily his parents is out of town for business. "merlin.. isnt he so hot draco? i mean look at him, he could ripped my heart into pieces and i would say thank you.” y/n said with a heart eyes looking at the screen of the muggle electronics, admiring the main character. “oh please y/n, he‘s a muggle, wizards could do so much better” draco scoffs, jealousy started to bubbling up inside him.

“yeah? which wizards?” y/n turns to face him, raising her eyebrows at him teasingly making his face flushed.

“me” draco whispers softly under his breath hoping y/n didnt catch it.

y/n giggles at him and give him a peck on his cheek. “you’re cute, y’know?” draco blushed at her little action, quickly focusing on the screen.

the first movie had finished and draco switched it to another movie. after half an hour passed, y/n let out a tired yawn.

“draco im kinda tired and sleepy, im gonna take a nap, you can continue if you want and wake me up later if you feel bored enough" y/n said as she slowly falling deep into her sleep. draco just nodded, rubbing her back and continue watching the movie until he get really bored and watching y/n sleeping peacefully. a blush appeared onto his cheeks as he studying her figure, he had been in love with her since forever but he didnt know if she feels the same and he dont wanna ruining what they already had right now. his thoughts were interrupted by soft grunts coming from y/n's lips. he looked at her watching her breathing gets heavier and she shuts her eyes weirdly he never seen her like this before, until he heard another soft whimper left her lips and he connecting it together and realized, is- is she having that dream right now? he was about to wake her up but he heard his name coming off of her lips in such a pleasure way? "draco- there, oh-" y/n's body shifted uncomfortably at her side of the bed arching her back as she still sleeping. draco scrunched his eyebrows in hearing his name repeatedly left her lips, he was getting hot and turned on by the thoughts of what y/n might be dreaming right now. "y/n wake up darling" draco shakes her body softly not wanting to startle her. y/n slowly open her eyes and rubs her face, she stares at draco confused why is he waking her up. "whats wrong, draco?" "im sorry darling its just- ugh- its- it seems like you were having that kind of dream, darling, are you sure you're feeling comfortable?" draco asked while y/n blushing so hard right now as she realized what is he talking about, she hides her face in embarrassment. draco looking straight to her and give her reassuring smile. "i- im sorry draco you're not supposed to heard that- oh my god- i-" y/n try to explained it but she just lost at her own words. "its fine darling, no need to apologize and dont be embarassed i just thought i should wake you up" they stay in silence and sitting awkwardly next to each other, the sexual tension is too hard to deny. draco fiddling with his fingers. "did it always happened?" draco asked raising his eyebrow looking deep into her eyes making her shocked and looking down. "well i mean yeah, i dont know why it happened tho" "to be honest.. me too sometimes, m- maybe you should just release it?" draco asked boldly, he widen his eyes as he realized what he just said. while y/n froze and she feels her heart just stopped, she's blushing even more at his suggestion.

they stared at each other lustfully and started to leaned in. when their lips met, its like it was meant to be, two worlds connecting together. the kiss was rough but still passionate, draco put his hands on her waist laying her down gently not breaking the kiss while she put her arms around his neck pulling his hair lightly and moaning into the kiss. draco started to go down kissing every inch of her skin, sucking on her neck making love bites everywhere, causing y/n to moan a little louder. his hand tugging at the bottom of her tshirt he looked up at her asking for permissions, she nodded and he take it off of her.

draco stopped for awhile to admiring her body, he had been craving her for so long and now he cant even believe he finally get his chance, his hand goes to her back unclasping her bra and throw it somewhere, he stares at her body fully in admiration while y/n blushing madly like a tomato right now. his mouth instantly attached to her nipple playing with it and his hand playing with the other one while his free hand started to go down feeling her wetness through her shorts. "damn baby, you're so wet, this all for me? can i take these off now, love?" y/n nodded eagerly and moaned softly at his touch unable to giving him his permissions. "i need words baby" "just fuck me already, draco!" y/n yelled impatienly. draco smirked at her and shaking his head. "patience, love" he pulls down her shorts along with her underwear, revealing her glistening cunt, he licks his lips and stand up to take off all of his clothes, they're fully naked now, and he get back on top of y/n again. "tell me about your dreams, baby, what did i do in there? did i do this?" his fingers rubbing her clit and teasing it earning a moan from her, while his lips kissing her inner thighs softly, making her getting more impatient. "yes draco, more pleas- shit" y/n moans louder as draco positioned his face between her legs and starts to eat her out. his fingers slowly entered her, curling them inside pumping in and out making the girl a moaning mess. "draco- im- im so clos- wtf?! what the hell do you think you're doing draco" y/n glared at him as he pulled out his fingers when she was near her high. draco smirked at her. "relax baby, i just want you to cum all over my cock." y/n groaned in frustration wanting him to fuck the shit out of her already, draco noticed and his smirk get wider, he lining his cock up and down at her entrance making y/n gasps at the sudden action. "you ready, baby? tell me to stop if you're not comfortable, okay?" draco said as he pushed half of his cock inside her making both of them groaning at the feeling, draco buried his face on her neck and y/n dug her nails on draco's back scratching his back making him going deeper inside her. draco paused his movement letting her adjust to his size for a few seconds and he look up to her asking if he can move, y/n slowly nodded. draco pulled out his cock until it was just the tip inside only to slamming it back again slowly not wanting to hurt her, their moans filling up the room, he quickens his pace moaning her name as he going deeper and deeper inside her. "yes- fuck- draco- right there!" y/n screams his name out loud when he just hit the spot that she doesnt even know it existed. draco keep pounding into the spot harder and faster, helping her reaching her high. y/n screams his name over and over again screwing her eyes shuts seeing the stars as she feels her high is finally snapped, triggering draco to cum any sooner too, she panted heavily, her legs becoming to feel like jelly now, draco's thrust became sloppier and he feels his cock twitched inside her, he bites her shoulder softly and burying his face on the crook of her neck screaming her name as he emptied his thick cums inside her, filling her up.

y/n stroking draco’s hair softly, his eyes still screwed shut and mouth hang open, he collapsed on top of her body as he finishes inside her, y/n smile at the sight of draco's right now, butterflies filling her stomach, draco pulled out slowly as he feels his dick softening, y/n winces at the loss contact and feeling the sore has coming, draco smile proudly at her and kissed her passionately which she gladly returns with the same passion showing how much they love each other. they pulled away and draco rolled to the side staring up at the ceiling processing on what had just happened with his best friend, y/n did the same too until he broke the silence. "you have no idea how long i've been wanting to do that, that was the best i've ever had" draco is facing her now, caressing her cheeks and giving her face soft kisses all over the place, y/n smile and nodded. "me too draco, so what does this mean for us?" "i will not denied it anymore y/n i've been in love with you since day one and only see my future with you, let me take you out on a proper date tomorrow but for now, will you be mine, y/n?" draco asked nervously, afraid he will get rejected. "of course draco, i feel the same too, im yours from now on and will always be." y/n chuckles getting on top of him kissing his pretty face before reconnecting their lips. "so, round two?"

[mythiccheroacademia]

A/N: Thank you hottie❤️ Tumblr was fucking with the format, so I had to repost.  Anyways, I looovveee this request. I’ve been waiting to be in the right mood to write this. Like, jealous muscular himbos completely head over heels for their s/o? Sign me up.

Sorry for the wait. I hope you enjoy this, sugar plum

All characters are 18+

Warnings: smut below the line!

Katsuki Bakugo:

SFW

bakugo doesnt get jealous

he usually felt secure in your relationship

yeah he got annoyed when kaminari would jokingly flirt with you

and yes, it made him angry when the dekusquad would literally stare at you with puppy dog eyes

and it pissed him off when kirishima suddenly became the funniest guy in the room when you were around

but he wasn’t jealous

how could he be? he’s bakugo katsuki

you agreed to go out with him. the strongest. the best. you couldn't get any better than him

right?

lmao no

the bigger the ego, the more fragile it was

bakugo doesnt handle jealousy well

there’s a small part of him that knows he can be an asshole

he’s not the most...affectionate person

but damn it, if he doesnt try his hardest for you

you notice that he gets quieter but his actions become a lot more aggressive

he’s glaring at anyone that smiles at you

it’s honestly scarier than his threats

forces you to hold hands

is suddenly into PDA??? when he kissed you in front of your friends you literally made a face

you didn't know what was up with him, but you were really confused when you told him to chill and he visibility wilted

once he came around to telling you that he wouldn't hold it against you if you wanted to leave him, you were quick to reassure him

give him a couple kisses and rub his ego just a tad, and he’ll be back to normal

acts like he didn't just look like he was about to cry two seconds ago

NSFW

there are two things that happen when bakugo gets jealous

at first, he’s very rough and handsy

he likes to talk big and say things like

“imma fuck you up when we get home”

“you like when daddy does that, sweetheart?”

“kiss it right there, baby”

“youre mine. tell me your mine”

he’s doing everything he can to get you screaming and thrashing

he’ll go down on you for hours, leave you trembling, only to tell you that was a warm-up

there’s this dark look in his eyes when he’s pounding into you, gripping the headboard so he can angle himself in the best position possible

it’s like he’s trying to prove himself by wrecking you

in the midst of your fucking, just when you feel like youre about to pass out, bakugo’s head falls on your shoulder

he’s still thrusting into you, but it gets slower and deeper

needier

now it’s not just fucking

looks into your eyes with the most adoring gaze and kisses the breath of out you

he can’t speak, too deep into your lovemaking to express how much he loves you

how he’s so scared of losing you

but you don’t need his words to understand

lock your legs around his hips and tell him how you’ll always be his and he will let out a moan that makes your toes curl

when you reach your high, it’s a vulnerable moment

lots of soft kisses and hugging

wont admit to the tears that sting his eyes but is willing to express his adornment for you through his embrace and aftercare

Todoroki Shouto:

SFW

todoroki doesnt have a lot of experience with jealousy

he knows what anger is

he’s felt insecurity

and he knows what it feels like to long for something or someone

but envy was a foreign concept to him

that was until he got into his first romantic relationship with you

don't get him wrong, he trusted you with everything

you gave him no reason to question your loyalty

and it never occurred to him that you would leave him for someone else because of how strong your love was for one another

however, his insecurities always got the best of him

he had a lot of baggage

he knew that

and when someone would approach you, someone that looked free-spirited and independent, he’d wonder if he was holding you back

even then, he can’t help but think that no one is worth the ground you walked on

not even himself sometimes

he never brings it up

but you notice that he started touching his scar a lot more

todoroki would try to act more extroverted thinking it would be better if he was livelier

youre deep talks about family matter diminished little by little

he tried to fill your comfortable silence with awkward conversation

you were so confused why your bf was acting so different

it took a couple attempts to get him to spill his thoughts

once he did, he’s stark quiet, looking away, fearing that you’d be so disappointed in him

but you just take his face in your hands and tell him

“you’re my whole world shouto. why would i ever give that up?”

he holds you in his arms for a long time after that

NSFW

behind his jealousy of onlooking eyes is a deep steed of low self-esteem

and you can feel it when you get intimate

he’s always looking to please you, but now he’s desperate, trying so hard to think of what will make you feel good

it makes you sad bc he already knows the answer to those questions

but he overthinks it

he’s noticeably shier

his touches are hesitant as he second-guesses himself

is continuously asking if you’re okay or if he’s doing it right

at one point, you have to take charge and push him down on the bed

“let me show you how much i want you. just you”

licks his lips as you kiss down his body

one of those guys that believes sucking his dick is a chore 💀

“you don't have to do that” face ass

so when you suck the soul out of him, he’s SPRUNG

would write a song about it if he could LMAO

quickly says he loves you before kissing you like the world depends on it as you ride him

twirl your hips in the way he likes and he’ll hiss out curses

run your hands through his hair and kiss his scar and he’ll give you such pretty moans

please tell him how beautiful he is and how much you love him

my mans will nut on the spot

after the first round, he regains his confidence and flips you on your hands and knees

before you even know what’s going on, he’s pounding into you, gripping your hips like a lifeline

now that he’s reminded that he’s your man, he spends the night realigning your spine

bc who could do it better?

Togata Mirio:

SFW

mirio is one of the most confident people ever

not only is he secure in himself, but he’s secure in your relationship

he knows he bagged a baddie

ofc people would be all over you

he couldn't blame them! i mean, look at you!

when people approached you, he usually let you handle it

if they were persistent, he would just put an arm around your waist

“you’ve got good taste, but they’re taken! sorry!”

it’s so wholesome that the other person can’t even find it within themselves to be upset

there was only one time he recalled getting genuinely jealous

it was during the time you two weren't exclusively dating

just going on dates to see how things went

at the same time, he overheard from your friend that your ex was trying to get back with you

when he heard that, he started sweating

it wasn't jealousy, but more like fear

he was determined not to lose you

not when things were going so well

mirio literally goes above and beyond on your dates

mans deadass learns how to cook all your favorite foods to bring to you

youre crying bc the seasoning was just *chef’s kiss*

brings you flowers at random times of the day

sends you pictures of things that remind him of you

you’re just soaking up all the attention

he’s always been an extra person so you didn't think much of it

it wasn't until you two were cuddling and watching a movie in his apartment that he confesses to you

“i know that i’m competing against history between you and your ex, but i want you to know that my feelings for you are strong, y/n. and i’ll do everything to prove to you that i can be the man of your dreams”

you stare at him before bringing him in for a kiss

“there’s a reason my ex is my ex”

“but--”

“just ask me to be yours already, mirio”

he didnt have to be told twice

NSFW

it was actually that same night that cuddling turned into something a little nastier

honestly, from then on, if you cuddled for more than 20min, there was a 99% chance yall end up fucking lmao

but that night, when he was kissing your neck and grinding his dick against you, he noticed your phone light up on the nightstand

you were too caught up in his fingers between your legs but he saw the text from your ex

it read: “i know this might be out of the blue, but would you wanna catch up over dinner sometime?”

now, mirio wasn't one to be spiteful

but he couldn't help but get a little heated

knowing your ex was trying to get back with you was way different than seeing it

a tiny switch goes off in his head and now he’s ready to make it known that you and him are together

you’re in heaven as mirio’s lips suck and nip at your neck and body

his head game is immaculate

turns you on your stomach so he can massage your back and ass before sliding into you

mirio holds your neck and gives you sloppy kisses as his hips swim into you

your phone lights up again and you can barely think straight when he gets rougher

starts pounding into you like he’s tryna put a baby in you whether it’s possible or not 💀

youre grabbing for anything you can hold as he starts whispering sweet nothings about how he’s gonna take care of you

whew...what a man yall 🥴

the entire time he’s wearing a shit-eating grin

bc he knows he won

might have accidentally sent your ex a voice recording of you moaning his name

oops

[machinegunbun]

Hi, can you finish that blurb? Just curious

ok ok hold your death threats everyone :)

tw:smut, obviously. throwing up and Painal too ig, but also if you saw the first part of this blurb Colson mentions “making sure it hurts.” so we’re going by implied consent in this one. Some shit may be a little morally eh (as pimping your girlfriend out to your best friend goes) but its all in the name of smut so if youre not into it then just pretend it didnt happen? If that makes sense?  okay have fun drink water

---

shutting the door behind him, you hear a faint click as he twists the lock. Your eyes go wide as you look up at him from your place on the bed, mouth propped slightly open by the shiny red ball. 

Rooks hand is already massaging his hard cock through his jeans as he admires the sight infront of him, his free hand coming up to brush a piece of hair from your face. 

You just can’t help but look, your eyes trailing down to where his hand is stroking himself through the rough confines of his jeans

Flipping you on all fours. He doesnt bother to take off your skirt, opting to flip it up and out the way. You feel the tip of his dick against your entrance, a small pain as he tries to push himself in your tight hole and the shaft of his cock as it slips. 

After a few attempts he gives in with a sigh, his thumb slipping into your ass, bending it when he reaches the hilt. A moan comes from your throat at the new and slightly intrusive feeling.

It took him putting two fingers in your tight hole, switching from his thumb to pointer and middle finger and pumping in and out for a few minutes each before he managed to fit himself inside you. 

It hurt, but in a good way. You could feel him stretching you as he pumped in and out, but you liked knowing you were making him feel good at your own expense. Plus, the noises coming from him only worked to make you wetter. Laying down a bit so your back was arched, you reach under your body and play with your clit, moaning at the release of tension that had built in the bundle of nerves.

“Fuck, has Colson ever had your ass before?” He asks, a blush coming over your face. You go to respond verbally, quickly reminded of your current handicap. You shake your head, made slightly difficult by the grip Rook had on your hair. Groaning at your response, his thrusts increase in pace, along with your whimpers, your pleas quickly silenced by the shiny red ball in your mouth.

“Tell me how much it hurts.” He demands, removing the gag from your mouth and sliding it down to your neck, using it like a leash to pull you back towards him.

“Fuck,” you gag, getting used to the feeling of your newly empty mouth “It hurts. I can feel you stretching me.” Whimpering as you make eye contact with him, his eyes full of lost as they trail down your body, grip on the gag wrapped around your neck tight as his gaze lands on your fingers playing with your clit.

“Oh, but you like it? Colson’s right, you are a dirty little slut, and you’re getting exactly what you deserve.” He hums, whispering in your ear “You know, I actually felt bad for a minute, punishing your tight little asshole, but the whole time you were getting off on it. You slut” his tone so accusatory as he releases his hold on your gag, letting you fall to the bed.

“Do you think Colson would be mad if he knew I played in your tight little hole before he got the chance? That I fucked you in your tight little asshole and you liked it. That you’re such a horny little slut you’d let me go against his wishes.” Rook moans, placing a harsh smack to your ass while he relentlessly pounds away, his middle and pointer finger hooking into your mouth and pulling back.

“He’d kill us.” He groans, his pace quickening as he chases his orgasm “M’not gonna cum in you.” he hums, choking on his words “M’not gonna cum in your ass, okay? Colson will never know. And you’re not gonna tell him, yeah? Just gonna be our little secret.” He whispers, hot breath fanning over your neck as he moves a piece of hair from your face

“Ride me.” He says, breathless and laying back in bed, his hard member standing straight. You’re ontop of him, facing the door when you feel his hand come across your ass once more.

Reaching back, you wrap your hand around his hard cock, watching as he admires your body, his hand coming up to squeeze your breast. Lining him up with your hole, you sink down slowly, a small whimper falling from your lips. Rook groans at both the feeling and your reaction to taking him in your ass, your hips lightly bouncing against him. His gaze locked on your tight asshole taking him, the way it squeezes around his cock, the way you whine everytime you take all of him.

Rooks hands come up to grip your hips, pushing and pulling you to maintain the pace, forcing you to take him again and again and again. Soon his heels are digging into the bed and he’s thrusting inside you, eager to reach his high.

“Fuck, m’gonna cum. Get off me.” He says, not strong enough to pull out himself. You gladly do as he says, slowly turning around to face him, your asshole empty and burning, completely used. You relished in the feeling, knowing that you’d have to deal with it long after he’d came. 

The thought that he had just used your asshole and didn’t even bother to cum, causing you so much pain only to pull out at the last second. Fuck, was it hot. You were completely his and there was nothing you could do about it. He could do whatever he wanted to you and you weren’t allowed to object. His toy, his fuck thing, whatever he needed to reach his high. You could cry and beg for Colson, but it didn’t matter, he wouldn’t stop until he was done with you.

Rook took a moment to catch his breath, his abs lifting up and down as he attempts to slow his heart rate.

“Get on the floor.” He says simply, breaking the silence. Doing as your told, you feel your knees hit the carpeted floor, glancing up at him for further direction.

“By the wall.” He says. You crawl over slowly, your knees dragging against the floor as you make your way. Standing on your knees, you let your back rest against the wall, staring intently as he makes his way over to you.

He pulls your arms up over your head, ripping the shirt from your body and tangling his fingers in your hair, pulling back so you’re looking up at him, watching as he strokes his cock. Pushing down on at the base, he rubs his tip across your tongue before pushing all the way in. He falls into pace quickly, throat fucking you, gagging as you feel him hit the back of your throat with nowhere to go, trapped between the wall and his hips. 

Your head bumps lightly against the wall as he thrusts into your throat. You try your best not to gag, but his thrusts are relentless. You try to warn him by tapping on his leg, but he’s too lost in his own pleasure to notice. It’s not until you have an especially loud gag that he realizes what’s happening, a smirk coming across his face as he continues his actions.

“Is that too much? Are you having trouble breathing. Huh? can’t hear you through all that gagging. Lemme see, are you touching yourself again, slut?”

It’s not long before you feel something start to come up your throat. You can’t tell if Rooks actions are purposeful or not, so once again you try to warn him

“Are you gonna throw up on my dick? Good.” he hums in response, pulling a trashcan over quickly. You bend over it, throwing up in to the plastic bag within.

“Keep fucking going.” He says, pulling you back into place, sliding back down your throat. You continue to suck his dick, shakily. The burning in your asshole from being stretched and the burning from your throat starting to take a toll on you. 

Just when you think maybe you can’t do it anymore you feel him spurting down your throat, swallowing his load hastily. Rook remains full submerged in your mouth for a moment before pulling out, his head hung back in pleasure.

“Oh shit, are you okay?” He asks, laughing a bit, his hand coming down to support your chin. The action was soft and sweet in complete contrast to the last thirty minutes.

“Yeah, im good.” You squeak

“Awh, let me go get you some water. Poor thing.” He says, throwing on a pair of pants and making his way to the kitchen. Colson must’ve seen him leave, because he made his way into the room, his eyes falling on the bed first, eyebrows furrowing when he saw you weren’t there. His eyes begin to scan the room, eventually landing on you.

“Oh, hey.” He greets softly, making his way over to you “what are you doing over here? Did you throw up?”

“Rooks a fucking freak.” You reply, wiping your mouth. Colson snorts softly at this, picking you up and carrying you to the bathroom. The bath was already all set up for you, bubbles and all. 

“Clean up real quick and then we can cuddle.” He says, placing a kiss on your cheek as he allows you to stand on your own “Need any help?”

“No, thank you.” You reply, climbing into the bath.

Eventually, you were out and dry, wrapped up in blankets next to Colson while he rubbed your back, Rook sitting at the end of the bed.

“Wait, so what all did ya’ll do.” He asks, straining his neck a bit to look over at you.

“I dunno,” you blush, burying your face in his shoulder “we fucked.” Both of the boys laugh softly

“Yeah we just like- Fucked,” Rook laughs again as he explains “she blew me for a little bit.”

“That’s it? She just, like, blew you?”

“Nah, I mean, we did anal at first.” Rook admits, Colson’s jaw dropping in shock as he looks over at you.

“You didn’t tell me you were into that.” He says softly, pouting. You glance down at Rook, who’s rubbing his eye “I’m not mad, I just didn’t know it was something you’d be into.”

“That’s okay, now that he knows he’ll be sure to use that information to his advantage.” Rook adds, smirking.

“Yeah, exactly.” Colson laughs, booping you on the nose and taking a moment to look at you before placing a kiss there aswell. 

“Alright I’ll leave you guys to that, i’m tired.” Rook says, yawning and stretching as he stands up.

“Really? It’s only 12Am, you never go to bed this early.” You say, glancing over at the digital clock next to you and colson’s shared bed.

“What can I say, you tired me out.” He winks, getting hit in the back of the head with a pillow as he goes to leave.

“Hey, watch it.” Colson jokes, “and give us our pillow back, please.” He continues, mumbling the last part.

~*~taglist~*~

@kidtheekid @cclynn88 @lonerlee @friedwangsss @rumoured-whispers @nichmeddar @sunflowerbebe107

[bandaged-writer]

hi!! since requests are open- can i have jealousy hcs for dazai, ranpo, tanizaki and chuuya with an s/o who’s friendly and doesnt really catch on to flirting? :0

Dazai Osamu

➤ Dazai doesn’t get jealous easily. He trusts you all the way to his bandages and knows how long it takes you to notice that someone is flirting with you. Before the two of you became a thing, Dazai had been excessively flirting with you only and always threw compliments your way such as “Ah, those earrings really compliment the color of your eyes, belladonna!” and you’d just say “I think so, too. Thanks,” before resuming your way of life. Yosano had to tell you that Dazai was looking at you with heart eyes, trying to score a date with you for 2 weeks at that time.

➤ He watches with an amused smirk when the person flirting with you starts getting frustrated. To Dazai, it’s just funny how the person becomes more desperate and the flirting becomes blatantly obvious, yet it’s like you’re immune unless it’s Dazai that does the flirting (yes, you got better at catching his advances). Eventually, Dazai will smoothly join the scene with his hand resting on your waist and pull you close to his side.

➤ “Thank you for looking after my belladonna while I had to use the bathroom, but we’re on a date. If you’d excuse us.”

➤ However, Dazai won’t pull the playful side if the person makes you uncomfortable or uses inappropriate pick-up lines. He knows you’re just too nice to tell the person to fuck off and would rather sit through the experience than potentially anger them.

➤ You can actually see the light in his eyes fading into nothing and his voice drops an entire octave. You’d only witnessed that side of Dazai one or two times, but you will never forget the goosebumps that covered your skin. “Put those paws of yours on her and you won’t see tomorrow come.”

➤ I can see Dazai getting somewhat jealous when it’s someone you have good chemistry with and/or if there’s some kind of romantic background; like someone you’d once gone out on a date with, was partner other and such. He’d stay attached to your side all the time, but not because he doesn’t trust you; he doesn’t trust that person.

➤ While you’re happily chatting away, Dazai is extra touchy in that situation. May it be his arm around your waist, his hand on your upper thigh or gently caressing your knee underneath the table while whispering sweet nothings in your ear. Ngl, he wants to fluster you a bit, just enough for it to be visible or audible. Dazai is a little shit in that situation and wants to make the person feel uncomfortable enough to leave.

➤ “Dazai, you what-?!” You’d slap his arm and blush furiously.

➤ “I don’t like the way they looked at you, my love,” Dazai would say pouting once you’re home and proceeds to suck some purple bruises into the skin of your neck, so that they wouldn’t look at you twice, again.

➤ Can and will continue if you liked what he was doing.

Ranpo Edogawa

➤ That man protects his candy better than his own life and you’re no exception. Sharing ain’t caring and he sure as hell isn’t having it when someone flirts with who belongs to him.

➤ Unlike Dazai, he can’t just watch and immediately sweeps in to stop whatever the person was about to do with both of his arms around you or you behind him. Depends on how badly it rubs Ranpo the wrong way.

➤ Yes, Ranpo’s aware of your overly friendly side and appreciated it. Even flirting with you is fun, because it takes you some time to get it and when you do, it’s the most adorable thing. However, it’s definitely not adorable when someone else tries to gauge that reaction out of you. It’s only for Ranpo to witness.

➤ “Who the hell are you?” Ranpo would say in a tone that would give away that he’s definitely jealous but quickly sigh and stop the person from answering by waving them off. “Have you ever heard of rhetorical questions? Of course, I don’t want to know who you are.”

➤ The type to deny he’s jealous and be all whiny about your accusations until you stop teasing him about it, hold his hand and reassure him. “I really look up to you, Ranpo. My eyes are always on you,” and Ranpo would deadass lose it, because that’s what you said when it was your first time joining him for a murder case and he had told you to watch him.

➤ Gets soft real fast and admits that he just doesn’t like anyone else hitting on you, saying that jealousy is indeed a lame feeling that he’s not fond of. “But you’re beautiful so I can understand, but it’s still so meh.”

➤ Pls give him a forehead kiss. He treasures them so much more than kisses on the lips, cheek, neck, etc. To Ranpo, it’s like a pinky promise.

➤ Will proudly wrap an arm around your shoulder, pull you flush to his side and wanders off to the next ice-cream shop while making walking a bit hard. According to Ranpo, ice-cream cools down heated feelings (pun intended) and it’s a great place for him to show off who’s his.

➤ Can and will use his deduction skills on that person if they’re making you uncomfortable or trying inappropriate things on you. “Ah, I see. You’ve already harassed several people and had to go to the police. Wouldn’t it be a shame if you had to get actually arrested this time?” 

➤ Has that proud and wicked smirk on his face when the person gets scared and makes a run for it. Ranpo will still report them though.

Tanizaki Junichiro

➤ Jealousy-wise, he’s something between Ranpo and Dazai. It really depends on the circumstances, how the person approaches you and all.

➤ If the person treats you with respect and kindness, Tanizaki will quickly inform them that you’re taken by him. He understands that you’re naturally friendly and figures that it’s also the vibe you give off, so he can’t blame anyone for finding that attractive. Tanizaki is just relieved that the person was kind enough to understand the position they were in and even wished the two of you a nice day/date.

➤ Still holds your hand a little bit tighter, though. 

➤ “Wait, did you just get jealous?” It’d hit you out of nowhere once the scene replays in your head and Tanizaki would blush ever so slightly. Maybe he was a bit jealous, but not to a high extent. He’d rather call it protective. “Ah, [Name], it’s nothing like that, I promise.”

➤ Now, y’all have seen that man protecting his sister and he protects you just as much as Naomi. Once the person is creepy and fishy, it’s game over and it’s like a switch turned within him.

➤ When you get uncomfortable and feel bothered by whoever’s flirting with you, Tanizaki takes over faster than you could ask him for help. “I don’t care who you are or what you’re trying to achieve here, but bend even a hair of hers and you’ll severely regret it.” His eyes are dull, voice firm and serious as he gets his point across. 

➤ Feels genuinely jealous when you seemingly ignore him for someone else, though. None of Tanizaki’s tries of joining the conversation are successful, not even him touching your hand or being a bit more touchy than usually gains your attention. It’s then that his voice sounds a little bit more lifeless and gains your observance. “[Name], weren’t we on a date?” You know you messed up.

➤ You kindly say goodbye to whoever’s flirting with you and ask Tanizaki what’s wrong - it’s just not his kind and easily flustered self

➤ “You seemed to be having fun with them, don’t you?”

➤ “Tanizaki, they were just being nice-”

➤ Give him the puppy eyes and everything is forgiven, though. Tanizaki could never, in his entire life, be genuinely mad at you. Yes, he might be upset that you ignored him for good 5 minutes straight, but that’s it.

Chuuya Nakahara

➤ Chuuya rarely gets jealous. He puts 110% of his faith and trust in you and knows that you do the same. A relationship that’s loyal to the bone.

➤ He can stand it for a little while when e.g. Tachihara is getting a little too friendly and touchy with you. Of course, you return the gesture, believing that he’s just being nice to you and not actually flirting. After all, no one but Chuuya had ever really flirted with you or so you believed.

➤ We all know that man’s temper is as short as his height, so it wouldn’t take long for him to snatch you away from Tachihara and dump a load of work on him. “Chuuya, what is all that work for?!” Tachihara would obviously complain, not quite understanding why all of a sudden he was assigned to pretty lame jobs. Chuuya just waves him off, pulling you into his side and temper tested. “You don’t flirt with taken people. If you do, you’ll simply have to carry the consequences.” 

➤ Tachihara wasn’t aware you were in a relationship with Chuuya. After all, being an executive was a lot of work, he often came home late and your paths with Chuuya didn’t cross as often as you’d like, but y’all still make it work. 

➤ At that moment, Chuuya makes an effort to see you more often during the day, have you closer by his side and let people know that you’re his and his alone. He’ll then bring you along to meetings, lets you sit on his lap when it’s just paperwork he has to finish for Mori and holds your hand at the mafia headquarters.

➤ It’s not like Chuuya has never held your hand. He just never thought of it as necessary and you never complained about it either, so he assumed it was okay.

➤ Chuuya introduces you to Kouyou, knowing that word will get around faster. Now, Kouyou isn’t a woman of gossip but she will assume that Mori is aware of the relationship Chuuya shares with you and casually goes “Chuuya’s partner is pretty cute, don’t you think so, Mori-san?” and Mori stops whatever he’s doing, “You mean like a..relationship?”

➤ Mori will spread word like wildfire. Elise scolds him.

➤ “Now everyone knows you’re mine, shrimp,” Chuuya pats your head and messes up your hair affectionately. You can’t help the huff slipping your lips and look up at him with a questioning look. “Big reaction for someone so small.”

➤ “cOME HERE, YOU LITTLE-”

➤ The next day everyone knows about your relationship with Chuuya and knows better than to hit on you. Not only did Mori run his mouth, but your neck was pretty colorful and Chuuya was extra cocky that day.

[tigerdrop]

Cringe is dead, talk to me about the funny half-life men and their relationship

okay here is my essay. it is titled These Guys Actually Like Each Other, and Gordon Freeman Is Just Kind Of A Dick*

(disclaimer: these are just my 2 cents. dont take me too seriously! im just some guy online who has watched this shit too many times.)

first things first. these guys actually like each other. this is a key aspect of their relationship. benrey, obviously and textually, digs gordon freeman - you dont flirt that heavily with guys you arent into, and so much of what he says and does is geared around making gordon crack up. thats pretty gay.

but the counterpart to this is that gordon freemans pretty fucking gay for benrey, too. you may say, “oh, but word of god says its not requited!” and to you i will say: bull shit. gordon is uniquely obsessed with benrey compared to all the other characters. if gordon didnt like the fucking guy, he wouldnt giggle with him and share in-jokes with him and bring him up every 5 seconds when benreys not around. thats concern, bro. thats worry. thats real shit

but i cant blame people for thinking that gordon freeman genuinely doesnt like benrey. benreys partially responsible for some of the worst things that have happened to him, the Arm Thing among them. and gordons very insistent afterward that he doesnt like benrey. he even goes so far as to try to kill benrey a couple times. to this, i must argue that gordon freeman is just kind of a dick.

lets talk facts here. canon. Lore. from the moment we hop into gordons shoes, we can see that he is a jerk to every npc on his way into black mesa. this is his default: a dude who just runs his mouth and says rude shit. he calls tommy a freak within 5 minutes of meeting him. he infantilizes the guy and barely considers him a real scientist. he doubts that bubby is a real name for like no fuckin reason. in “real life”, this is because its funny, and wayne is trying to make a funny half-life stream. in a textual sense, this is because gordon “hlvrai” freeman is a dick. this is the way he acts, consistently, throughout the series.

(brief aside: this is why the whole “gordon is a nice guy and a great dad” characterization baffles me. the way he actually acts in canon is, in short, bitchy and lacking in self-awareness. and i love that for him, i really do. it makes the moments where he just tries to be a nice guy stand out. but thats the thing: his intermittent moments of decency and kindness are not the whole of his personality! this dude kind of sucks most of the time!)

the way that gordons general asshole attitude extends to benrey is complicated. in fairness, benrey makes it his job to annoy the shit out of gordon as much as possible, and that warrants a negative attitude, but gordons pretty paranoid and ends up blaming benrey for nearly everything that happens to him, regardless of if its warranted. this is a pattern he exhibits both before and after the Arm Thing. its a little bit of a dick move! especially considering that, prior to the whole “betrayal” subplot (which was not exactly planned very far in advance), benrey is no more malicious or annoying than anybody else gordons having to travel with.

(okay, this is kind of a subjective evaluation, but still. my point stands that benrey is not any more of a hindrance to his progress than anybody else in the science crew, and neither is he particularly more violent or murderous. hell, gordon freeman has probably killed more guys than benrey. benrey just tends to get.......special treatment.)

all that said, i am still convinced that gordon really fucking likes benrey. please consider with me the following: it would be remarkably easy for gordon to just ignore him and do what he has to do, but he doesnt. he could stop engaging. he could stop thinking about benrey. he could stop bringing benrey up to the rest of the crew every time benrey leaves to do his own thing for awhile. but he doesnt. and, again, yeah, the extra-textual reason for this is “two guys are doing an improv comedy thing and bouncing off of scorpy is kind of the point”, but within the text it reads to me as gordon not being about to get the dude off his mind.

and this is in addition to all the times we see gordon being genuinely nice and receptive toward benrey! its in the little things: laughing the hardest and longest at benreys jokes. only ever reciprocating that stupid underwater “BBBBB” thing with benrey. trying to catch benrey when he falls, despite his insistence moments earlier that benrey should hop in the wack ass crystal generator and get hypermurdered. fondly remarking that benreys sweet voice sounds beautiful. his sort of flustered responses to most of benreys overt flirting. none of this is the way normal people react to a guy they hate. this is all fuckin gay to me, man.

its this combination of the outward insistence that gordon hates benrey with his inner eagerness to be around him and think about him and engage with him that gives off strong “repression” vibes, to me. for whatever reason - pride, embarrassment, resentment - gordon maintains a front of hating the guy and wanting to kill him for a lot of the series, but it doesnt gel with the way he fucking giggles and plays along half the time that benrey starts fucking with him. its a game, and that game is one of the only ways gordon knows to manifest affection for him.

(remember “oh my god, hes got a knife!”? that was the gayest shit i ever seen in my life. tittering like a schoolgirl while benrey chases him around like “im gonna get you haha”. insanity.)

the cool thing about repression is that you can have it manifest in a lot of ways! and this is where things like “headcanons” and “my own personal affection for repressed bisexual men” come in. a lot of how i characterize their relationship is an extrapolation of a lot of things like gordons canonical insecurity issues/anxiety, gordons whole anti-bootboy thing screaming “internet wokeboy who means well but probably has a lot of repressed baggage” to me, etc.

how do you get massive amounts of sexual repression out of what you see in canon, you might ask? well. if wayne would stop having gordon talking about being jerked off by the suit, or talking about chugging a 40-gal drum of potion and having to hold his piss, or worrying about being eaten by benrey the moment he sees benrey at setscale 10, maybe i would have a higher opinion of gordon “hlvrai” freeman and whatever latent psychosexual issues hes got going on. but here we are

i havent even touched yet upon how benrey feels about gordon. this one is helpfully made a little more plain by the fact that benrey very much wants to suck his dick in canon. (i dont even have to go into details. we all know.) but IMO the best part about this ship isnt just that they dig each other, but how. benrey gets overtly flirtatious in the second half of the series, but IMO his preferred method of flirting is just fucking with gordon: chasing him with knives, shoving him around in a bathroom, trying to get scans of his feet. but all in like a slapstick, giggly, fun-and-games sense, you know? at least when it works.

a lot of the time, though, it doesnt work out that way. he clearly just likes doing it whether or not gordon responds positively. which is, you know, Weird. not very nice. but also in line with the way everybody else treats gordon freeman. gordons kind of the universes chew toy in any given universe, and the same holds true here. hes kind of helpless......subjected to 4 demons attempting to make his life as difficult as possible. in a way its cathartic.

sorry. i got sidetracked. anyway, benrey very much likes to mess with him and unnerve him and demean him and i will be perfectly frank with you: that is hot. i have problems and illnesses and one of them is that i am a masochist who goes crazy for that kind of thing. calling gordon a “dirty lil boy” and telling him to “look at the mess [he] made” is some straight up kink scene shit.

i like to imagine that a lot of this behavior isnt caused just by the guy who played him wanting to be funny and antagonistic, but by benrey as a character not really understanding what constitutes “pushing a joke too far”. hes not human, and whatever he is doesnt have a very normative way of understanding the world around him, full of people who actually get hurt for real and die for real. benrey expresses what seems to be genuine surprise and distress after the Arm Thing, as if he didnt know that his actions would have serious consequences. and it doesnt seem to fully sink in afterward, either.

it reads a lot to me like hes used to video game rules and treating people around him like NPCs. if they get hurt, its no big deal, because its not real. he likes jamming random buttons on gordons interface and seeing what comes out. its probably a lot of fun for him, the same way that seeing a streamer or a youtuber suffer for our amusement is fun. its like, you know, in my opinion, gordons very cute when hes frazzled. hes also cute when hes laughing. pushing gordons buttons has a 50/50 chance of either of these things. and this is how he ultimately flirts with gordon: by pulling his pigtails.

but at the same time, benrey does legit care about gordon and knows some boundaries. benreys the one most often shooting at enemies to protect gordon, and he spent most of the last act trying to convince gordon to turn around and not fight him because they were friends (best friends, to be specific). he just lacks a lot of the emotional intelligence it would take to express the feeling of “he digs gordon and likes seeing his face get all red and sweaty regardless of the cause”. and gordon lacks the emotional intelligence it would take to express the fact that he doesnt know if he likes or hates benrey and hes scared as hell that its the former

because, lets be real. unironic benrey-liking is a sign of problems disorder. just look at all these words ive written about it.

can you imagine? this bizarrely powerful, non-human entity that can shrug off gunfire and grow to the size of a building has decided that youre his new plaything. benreys the bored guy booting up skyrim and fucking around in the console, and gordons the hapless favorite follower that hes taken a liking to. its a really fun dynamic IMO

after all this, its safe to say my title is a little misleading. the asterisk stands for * and So Is Benrey, Actually. they are both kind of awful dudes who thrive off of teasing each other and they deserve each other. and i am crazy about it. thank u for coming to my TED talk

[nokiawrites]

ʙᴜɴɴʏ ʙᴜɴᴄʜᴇꜱ(ɪᴢᴜᴋᴜ x reader)

(Boss-Intern/Hybrid AU)

Warnings: Smut, Cat Hybrid!Female!Reader, Bunny Hybrid!Izuku, (Everyone is pretty much hybrids) Im also rlly bad at warnings

Part2

Summary: Your new bunny Intern with the silvery voice has caught your attention once again, but who knows if this time you can get to him first.

    The quick pitter patter of my feet as I walk through the parking lot to the elevator are drowned out by my thoughts.  

         My every waking thoughts constantly running rampant of that that green haired ball of energy. So sickeningly sweet yet enticing. Our newest Intern, Izuku Midoriya. The bunny hybrid who held the whole world in their eyes. Just the same as the last time you saw him.

 You slowly enter the elevator and press the button for your floor number, tail swaying from side to side slowly. Standing there idly humming to yourself as the lift slowly rose to your floor. ‘PING’ the loud sound of the lift arriving snaps you out of your daze. The doors slowly open and you step out and begin making your way to your office. 

Besides the soft hums of conversations and typing it is rather peaceful in the cubicles. “Hey (y/n)!”. Well shit. You turn to where the voice came from and lo and behold the man whose been on your mind, standing there in all his glory. He smiles brightly at you, ears on the top of his head at full height. You look at him blank faced. 

“Please stop calling me by my first name during work hours, people will think we are friends.” You spit at him in a hushed tone. You turn away and begin walking away. He follows behind you closely, he begins giggles. “I mean of course were friends dummy.” He says to you in full confidence. “Well im sorry to burst your fucking bubble, were far from friends, you work for me and thats all.” 

You make it to your office and kicking your heels off. His ears drooped some. “Well its ok (l/n), No need to be a bitch about it.” He huffs at you also walking into your office closing the door and plopping down on the sofa. “Me?! A Bitch?!” Your head does a perfect 180 and you scowl at him.“Yea, you.” He plops a gummy bear into his mouth. “Where the hell did you get gummy bears from?! You know what, doesnt matter, stop eating in my office. I have work to do.” 

You shuffle over to your desk  and plop down in your seat, pulling out your papers and beginning to work. Your ears sit upright. You can hear loud Chewing. Ignoring it was not even an option. You can hear it over your on thoughts at this point. You look up with a huff and there izuku is. “You chewing to loud dipshit.” For a bunny hybrid he is loud as hell. 

Your becoming irritated. A knock on your door turns your attention away from the green haired male laying on your sofa. “Come in” you mumble. Your assistant Tsuyu walks in. “ Ms(l/n), Mr Todoroki wants to know if your meet for later today is still on?” She shuffles through papers in her hands. You take a minute to think, ‘do I really want to have to deal with Enji’s shit today? nah’. “ Tell him i would like to reschedule for next week, and Tsuyu, take a rest of the day off I got it today.” She nods her head and walks out quietly shutting the door behind her.

A couple of minutes goes past uneventfully. “You know you cant always be mad at me.” The human bunny hybrid speaks. You chuckle at him “Thats a good one.” You continue doing what you were doing. Izuku sits up from his lying down position. “Im serious, listen we both made mistakes. So we have to let go to help ourselves grow as people.” You sit your pen down and you look at him. “Are you fucking kidding me? We both made mistakes? You fucking cheated on me, and WE made mistakes? You must be out of your rabbit ass mind!”

 You jolt upwards, now standing making your way around the desk to the sofa. “Hey I said sorry, okay.” He says as you stalk closer to him. “ Do you think sorry is going to fix the fucking pain i felt?” Your ears are completely pined against your head as you his at him. “well what do want me to do?” You take the tights off of your legs and ball it up, throwing it. You begin to slide you panties off. griping them in your hand tightly. “If your really fucking sorry you’ll make mommy feel good.” Izuku turned pink. 

“You know I cant do that, you know im dating Ochaco.” You shake your head. “Do you really think I give a fuck about that home wrecking bitch, do what your told unless you want you darling little Ochaco to know that her boyfriends boss is his ex girlfriend and that you dick still gets hard to the thought of my cunt on your face?” He freezes. “Your probably fucking hard right now aren’t you. You sick fucking shit. Getting off of calling me mommy” Before he can react you stuff your underwear in his mouth. “go ahead, can you taste mommy on it?” He says something unintelligible and nods. 

“Good because that is the last time you will ever fucking taste it.” He reaches to take the panties out of his mouth. You slap him with force before he can. You can tell he’s gonna bruise later. His phone rings. its Ochaco. He looks up at your form questioningly. You nod. “Pick it up” He does just that. As he talks you begin to unzip his pant. His breath hitches. keep talking, you mouth to him. You pull out his hard length. He twitches in your hand. gracious amounts of precum falls onto your hand. His tip red with a purple hue. You flatten you tongue and run it from base to tip and stopping to suck on his mushroomed head. 

He chokes on his spit “uh yeah im fine Ochaco I just choked on my spit, but i have to go, yeah ill t-talk to you later bye.” He rushed to hang up his phone up. You stood back up, taking in the view of him. He looked so perverted with his dick out leaking and pulsing. But he looked so innocent with his flustered face. You wanted to corrupt him. He reaches out and cups your naked core. Massaging your folds. You lean into him, beginning to straddle him. He rubs his fingers against your wet entrance, slightly teasing you. He pushes his two fingers into you breaching your warm walls. You reach both of your hands around to his back. Your hand grabs his shoulder. The other one slowly going down his back. You grip his tail. 

“(y-y/n) you know my tail is sensitive.” He removes his fingers from you and grips your hips with both hands. You smirk against his neck. “I know.” You snatch his cotton ball of a tail with your hand. His hips thrust up into yours. His dick ruts against your wet core. The humping motion causing his dick to stimulate your clit. Your feeling hot, you can feel your heart beat in your pussy. “Come on baby, fuck mommys tight pussy. You have my permission. He whines out starting to rut harder against you. You lift yourself lining izuku’s meat rod to your dripping core. You begin to slowly go down, Not used to the feeling of him inside of you yet. Izuku grabs you hips and slams you down onto him before you could intervene. 

Izuku begins to get into position, he braces his feet on the floor and grips you with both arms, beginning to thrust up into you. You can barley keep your eyes open. His curved dick keeps beating at your walls. You reach down to you clit and begin to rub it trying to satisfy that building pressure in your abdomen. You gush out on him, he humps you through it all. You push off of him with a huff. “Mommy?” He whines out at the loss of your heated walls. walking over to your desk you sit on the edge and spread you legs giving him a good view of your box. “Come on baby, come get what you want.” He practically jumps out of his seat and rushes to you, lining back up with you and pushing straight back into your depths. you wrap your legs around him. He starts fucking into you like he was out for revenge. 

You throw your head back moaning out as his tip hits your g spot. Your tail raps around his leg. “Say you love me more than Ochaco.” You breath out. No answer. He keeps fucking into with the speed of a jack rabbit. You santch his hair pulling his head back. He moans out as he gets closer. You grab his face between your fingers and pushing your foot into his hips causing him to stop thrusting. "Tell me you love me more than her, fucking say it. your tail begins flicking the more agitated you get. Looking at you doe eyed he stumbles over his words "You know i cant say that, i love both you and Ochaco the same." You scoff looking away in disgust. "If that was fucking true you wouldnt be balls deep in me while your girlfriend is at home waiting for you." 

You look back at him in disgust for the second time today. Pushing him off of you. Causing his dick to fall out with a wet sound. He whimpered at the loss of your heat. "kneel" you bark at him. Ears pined to the top of your head. Midoriya drops to his knees his ears lifeless against his head. "Know show mommy that your sorry for being a shitty boyfriend who cant even keep his dick in his fucking pants." "m'sorry" he mumbled. 

" Stop being a little fucking bitch and actually apologize!!" You yell at him. He just stares up at you. Hissing you hop off of the desk pulling your skirt down and snatching him up by the collar of his shirt, " If you dont want to be here get the fuck out, go the fuck home. Why are you still here if your in love with her?" You begin to push im towards your office door, eyes filling with tears.  “ill have you transferred to another buliding." You begin putting yourself back together and getting dressed. "N-no, im sorry." He squeaks out after almost a eternity of silence. You wipe the tears out of your eyes, putting a stern face on. 

“well i have no other choice, your fired.”