#a suicide tw if for any reason u ignored the first tag

[iwadori]

Hiiii can i request prompt 53 with tsukki? My annoying cousin u may know @chibiiichan(i cant tag her its a surprise) recommend ur account and well she never been right more than now I LIKE UR ACC TOO URM JUST TAG HER IN THE POST (bcs its actually her birthday next week monday so....the least i could do this bcs she likes tsukki and shes recently talk abt the iwazumi story of yours....lmao shes cringe but in the same time got mad n i was besides her hearing her whining like bruh 'its 1 am'...i know i should buy something for her but she got spoiled enough 💅...that mf-) thank you ✨

‘ALWAYS AND FOREVER’

TSUKISHIMA X READER

2K WORDS

GENRE: ANGST,FLUFF

TW: SLIGHT AMBIGIOUS MENTION OF SUICIDE/ASSISTED DEATH, AND DEATH, CURSING (IN MY A/N)

THIS IS FOR @chibiiichann Happy birthday, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS (BECAUSE I HATE IT :D ) SOOOOO YEAH I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY.

NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL. EXPECT SLIGHT MISTAKES

You were dying. You knew it. Your husband, Kei, knew it. Even friends you haven’t spoken too since high school knew it.

So why did you all pretend that everything was okay?

5 year old Y/N:

You were running around your neighbourhood park chasing after butterflies, without a care in the world. As you were frollicing in the grass, you manage to trip over a rock tumbling to the ground scraping your knee making it bleed. Looking down at your slightly injured knee, your lip begins to quiver which eventually leads to wails of tears streaming down your face.

“you don’t have to cry you know?” said a slightly quiet voice towering over you. Above you was a boy, quite tall with a fat pair of glasses, golden eyes and a head full of blonde locks.

“Well when I get hurt, I cry” you say matter oh factly (is that the phrase?) rubbing your nose as you sniffle. He held out a hand to you, which you immediately took shooting upwards and brushing yourself off.  

The boy, after looking at you wildly, turns around and walks back to the actual park. “Oi wait,” you call at the boy swiftly following him “aren’t you going to ask my name?”

“no.” he says simply, proceeding to walk ahead.

“well my names Y/N L/N pleasure to meet you,” you say jumping in front of him so he doesn’t move, waiting for him to tell you his name...which he doesn’t. “you don’t have to be so rude you know”  

“I’m not being rude” he says stiffly “ it’s just my brother says not to speak to strangers” a smirk appears on his face to say ‘you can leave me alone now.’  

As if on cue, his brother approaches the both of you given the boy a slap on the back making him cringe “Hey Kei, who’s the friend you’ve made here?”  

“My name is Y/N L/N and I'm here to be KEI’s best friend!” you said putting the emphasis on the word Kei after just learning that was the blondes name.  

Kei rolled his eyes and sighed saying “nii-chan can we go home now” he folded his arms in annoyance.

“No Kei, you’ve got to get to know your new found friend Y/N-Chan right?” his brother said teasingly, knowing it was the last thing Kei wanted to do.

“Yes ofcourse!” you say with a toothy grin, dragging Kei along with you to his demise.

Until the sun went down, you spent the rest of your time with Kei getting to know eachother (well him getting to know you more, since you did all the speaking.) Regardless of his previous annoyance in getting to know you in the first place, Kei would be lying if he said he didn’t want to know you now.

As the sun was setting, Kei’s older brother (who’s name you learned was Akiteru) called him to tell him he had to go home because dinner was ready. Before he left, you grabbed his hand and wrapped your pinky finger around his saying “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

back to present -  

In some odd way, this was Kei’s way of looking out for you. He knew what you had was uncurable and would weaken you even more as the days go by, so pretending like nothing was wrong seemed to be best in his eyes.  

Everything you and Kei did was a game or some nostalgic act that you once did when you were children. It was sweet to say the least, seeing Kei all engrossed and determined to make you happy.  

Your alarm rings snapping you out of you daydream, ‘it was time for medicine’ you thought with your face scowling at the thought. Immediately on time, as always, Kei comes In the room with all your medicine thats needed.

“Aren’t you my perfect little nurse Kei” you say teasingly giving him a wink, laughing as you see his face turn red.

“Do you have to do this every time y/n?” he asks rolling his eyes at your childish behaviour.

“Oh I'm just showing love to my best and favourite nurse” you continue laughing at your own words

“Im your only ‘nurse’” he deadpans giving you your medicine as you talk.

“Well that is more reason to make you the best nurse.” you say smiling.

Silence falls between you, and you stare down at your arm watching as your husband gives you the medicine making you frown. “Do we have to keep doing this?” you ask which is probably the 1000th time you’ve asked.

“Of course we do Y/N as I’ve said yesterday and the day before that and the day before that it-”

“But do we really?” you interrupt “I can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep doing this.”

“Do you doubt me Y/N, I can do this forever” he says “ I can take care of you forever”

“But I don’t wan-”

“I’m finished, I’m going to start on dinner” he gets up and leaves the room yelling “I’ll call you when it’s done.”

Sometimes you and Kei have these conversations. And all the time it ends the same way. You complain, he ignores and then you go and have dinner.

You can understand why he doesn’t want to have this conversation. Who would want to hear about their partners complaints about practically being alive. Kei was torn, ever since he met you all he wanted to was to keep you happy. But could he compromise his own happiness for it.

15 year old Y/N - flashback

“Kei Kei, aren’t you excited!” you yell smiling widley

“Excited for what?” he asks, amused by your enthusiasm “it’s just highschool.”

“Well it’s a new highschool! Karasuno high school, to be exact.”

“And that is still just a school.” he says

“Not just any! That’s the school nii-chan went too, and even tho he lie-”

“Let’s not talk about it Y/N” he murmurs “we should go now, don’t want to be late on our first date.”

Going to Karasuno was fun, at the start everyone was pleasant and nice. But after a week or two when you and Kei were still stuck to eachother like glue, people weren’t so pleasant. Kei was like a pop idol, being gorgeous and over 6ft at just the age of 15, caused alot of attention, especially when he was always around you.

At the start, the hate you got was bearable, it was the petty bitchy notes in your locker or just people blatanly talking badly about you infront of you. People didn’t do it when you weren’t around Kei, so when he had volleyball practice (which you were so excited that he joined the team) you were a big target for the bullies to come around.

Kei didn’t really know of the bullying that happened towards you, especially since he was mainly in practice or not around when it happened. But one day in practice he heard some of his teammates, kageyama and hinata who seemed to talking about a student in one of their classes that was always getting picked on by the other girls in the year.

“Yeah and I heard that Nana-san was planning on getting her and her friends to attack Y/N-san soon.”  said Hinata

“Shrimpy, who are they planning on attacking?” Kei asks to make sure he just heard the ginger correctly.

“Oh this lovely person in our class their name is Y/N-san” he says, looking at Kei’s reaction he also asks “Why? Do you know them?”  

Kei doesn’t respond, and immediately leaves the gym, ignoring Hinata’s and the other members of the teams yells of ‘Where are you going tsukishima.’ He didn’t care, he just had to get to you.  

He searched all the classes, asking every student if he knew where you were. Someone directs him to the toilets, where he burst through the door to see the other girls in your year surrounding you and beating you up.  

“What the fuck are you doing to them?” he yells startling the girls.

“T-T-Tsukishima-san" one girl says “It’s not what it looks like.”

“Oh fuck off” he says, with them still frozen in shock “I said go!”  

“And don’t think I don’t know your names either” he calls after them.

He rushes towards your bruised body on the ground and cradles you gently, confused on what to really do. “Oi Kei,” you say weakly catching his attention “I would’ve won if you didn’t come to stop the fight.” you joke making him scoff.

“Whatever you say Y/N.”

After you heal up, Kei already told on the girls that beat you up getting them suspended, and you explain how they were treating you because of their infatuation of him. And how they only did it when he wasn’t around.

Once he learns this information, he decides to quite the volleyball team, to your surprise. But you demands on making him not quit were ignored, as he excused it by saying “I have to make sure you’re always alright remember, and if that means quitting some volleyball team then so be it.”

That was one out of the many times that Kei put his happiness before yours.

Flashback over.

When you first got diagnosed, Kei was immediately researching on it as it was a very rare condition. But sadly, he only found what the doctor already told you both. It was uncurable and your immune system and your body will weaken as the days go by.

Which it did, you were a shell of your past self. It was always shocking for Kei to see, especially with you only being 25. ‘It wasn’t supposed to be this way,’ but he never let you see his sadness.

Whenever you knew Kei was sad you always reminded him “Kei, I may be dying but please don’t cry over me” every time you said, there was a slight undertone of humour in your voice which always worked in boosting Kei’s spirit.

AN: IVE GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I HATE THIS SOOO IM SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE SHITTING RUSHED ENDING IM GOING TO PROVIDE FOR YOU LOL.

The days passed and the years went by, and you and Kei were still alive and kicking it. Doing your daily routine of you making some joke, Kei giving you your medicine and then you eating dinner. You eventually stopped complaining, realizing and remembering your promise you gave to Kei at 5 years old in that park. “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

Of course you had your rough days, everybody did and it was even harder being sick with a terminal illness. But having Kei to guide you through the storm made It better for you.

However, Kei isnt a miracle worker. He couldn’t save you, noone could. And you both knew that. That didn’t mean it made it any easier when the medicine stopped working and your pain got too hard to bear. Kei couldn’t watch you do this anymore, “the choice is yours” he said with tears in his eyes.  

So you knew what you had to do, you got in your bed pulling Kei with you, and letting him envelope you in a big hug as you both cried.

“I love you,” you say “You know that right?”

“Of course I know that, idiot” he replies “And I love you.”

“Always and forever?”

“Always and forever.”

AN: how did I END UP CRYING WHILST WRITING THIS WHEN IT MADE NO FUCKING SENSE, I WAS TRYING TO DO THIS COOL NOTEBOOK (I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED THE NOTEBOOK) ENDING WHERE ITS AMBIGIOUS AND SHIT AND I JUST GIVE UP OKAY? I APOLOGISE LOOOOOOL. I HOPE YOU ENJOY ATLEAST A SENTENCE OF THIS AT LEAST.

[ibelonginthepast]

okay I need your klance fic recs(i feel like you have really good taste)(i mean your icon is literally THE keith of course you have god tier taste)

okay so the thing is.. that when i say am kinda messed up and disgusting sometimes... and becoming a madwoman... am not over exaggerating or saying it in a funky way.. i actually am getting like that .. and that's how i got into the klance fandom initially. i project through lance and read really langsty fics.. and they are messed messed with like violent nsfw, gore, horror, serious mental health issues etc? so if u want those... i'll only send them if u want?

yeah tho i entered with this thingy that klance is gonna be like my guilty pleasure or some shit but them i inevitably fell in love with some GORGEOUS fanfictions out there and KEITH KOGANE in all shapes sizes genders and ages so lol...

but they aren't flowery. that's just not my taste. Some of them might be "problematic"? it's in quotes because i don't agree with it. it's not going to be problematic in plain ignorant sense like racial issues or blatant sexism or mental abuse.... but they might have like stuff which people dont always agree with like drugs. most of them would have nsfw it's just something that i need to have for feels and that's why i asked if u minded it. some things are like more subjective,, characterizations for example, cause like some people dont think keith is a skirt guy cause he isnt in fashion but i think he is petty and rebellious so he will defo do that? some of them would have like physical fights and stuff.. or keith and lance being mean to each other.. some ugly habits which aren't necessarily condemned like anger or drugs.? but with how i see it, it's not glorified, so i see them as human. i love the raw and ugly in these or idk its just human to me (but some people dont like which is completely valid cause we are all different from different environments and think different and resonate with different stuff.)

wait addition: i think some of them will have sexist themes? which i have complained about a lot before. i dont know why authors feel the need to somehow put women down to show how a mlm relationship without any women is superior or some shit it's annoying as fuck i hate it. i dont think i would have any especially sexist fics here, but there might be some with lowkey themes and bad handling of those issues. some of them mau have that subtext of disgusting heteronormative standards, but in subtext uk like bottom lance having a small waist and being giggly and all in contrast to big bulk keith.

here are some that i had bookmarked... but i may remember some more and then send them to u and or add them here...

a heads up.. i dont remember all of them very well. its been a while and i read fanfictions A LOT so yeah.. incase one slips up here which isnt very good am sorry dont judge me

the bold ones are the ones u should really check out if our taste is similar.

to begin with plain f l u f f,, my first klance bookmark was How Could I Say No? by Padfoots_Pawprint. tws for violence, bullying, injury BUT it's not actually gory or something like that it's just keith being keith and getting hurt and lance helping my boi like he should. it made me feeeeeeeel ksksk

this was one that kinda really touched me,, Wasted youth, Cryptids, and Waterboys by Baea THIS HAS EXPLICIT NSFW in it, the first chapter kicks off with it.. its a good fuck buddies to lovers in my opinion.. i love the writing style, the choice of how it's just a couple entries of random days in their lives. i love keith's characterization.. he is a hobo and a conspiracy nerd.. i love how down for him lance is, very dedicated. i love their growth.. i love how they help each other grow,, and it's so like real and usual day to day and human and down to earth idk how else to express it. this is INCOMPLETE. it's 12 chapters and discontinued as of now,, but it's not a deadly cliffhanger

similar in style and approach to the above. tho i think here is where it gets dubious. Easy, Tiger. by @/WhatTheBodyGraspsNot ... this is INCOMPLETE too and as of now discontinued. this has that sorta murky vibe with it's drug usage, them being teenagers in school and engaging in stuff like this, bad boy keith and all. this has nsfw too. i just remember really liking it and its very raw and unfiltered. tho it's incomplete it's not an open ending for now.

okay so i am restarting this but am upset as fuck that it all got deleted so i am gonna be lazy and not put as much effort as i did.

i have also Crowd Pleaser bookmarked by the same author,, this one's complete and it has some serious issues around gaslighting if i remember correctly... i really liked it then. keith is literally an angel here, i want to kidnap him and marry him literally. the s h w ee t e s t shit ,, and i like how lance gives him all the support and space to get his shit together

Drummer boy by klancekorner,, i think it's similar to the prev one, but lance's pov(which is what i prefer ngl). this authors fanfics are all just wholesome. i had put links to all their fics before, but imma now just say that u should go and check all their fics out. i have them all bookmarked, i must have seen something in them (can't remember what now tho and i cant be bothered to skim through them like last time *rolls eyes*)

War of hearts? idk why honestly, just ik keira has made me gay, and lesbian rejection angst? garrison? yes :) it's incomplete, conveniently left at the point where lance's heart is broken lol

Fuck buddies with benefits. THE NAME IS BAD I KNOW but i just love the idea of a dedicated mess of a keith and lance taking care of him. that's it that's the fic if i remember correctly. oh wait yeah u might think keith is not treating lance right, but i think it's fine if lance is treated a bit stupid. this is a bit too sex driven tho i dont like it but just SLEEPDEPRIVED KEITH TO TAKE CARE OF IMMA SIGN UP (ik this maybe coming off toxic but lol look at me)

Rambling: THIS WAS ME.

Last Defense: TW SUICIDE this is literally the langst i have for canon lance

I want something else: bad boy keith can break my limbs and cut my face and i will thank him

A thank you would be nice: keira damn

game-set-match: b a d b o y

I swear to go the devil made me do it: my typically fav trop, hardcore pining lance, literally perfect angsty keith. very similar to the top ones ig? idk also this one is one of my comparatively recent sane bookmarks so that's something. it starts off weird, u think it gon be subtly sexist but it turns out better so hold on

you've got me locked up: i think it's delinquent keith,, its floofy

Dad lance and tattoo artist keith: the name says it

damn while going through my bookmarks i realized that there are a lot of things i never bookmarked? i am pretty sure i loved a lot of long fanfictions, flower shop aus and tattoo artists shit wtf-

wait here's one, it's not complete: Blood jumps in the sun: it's very heavy has a lot of growth and kinda wholesome,, tags and summary will give u an idea what u getting in.

The lessons we learned: can't remember much other than florist keith, sad keith, smart keith, really long, pining

damn i think i have a lot of happy ones i didn't bookmark cause my brain was like u dont deserve the serotonin :( i'll add if i have more)

some actually angsty, detailed nsfw and messy (according to the way u interpret these) ones... lemoninagin.. they have some very detailed and explicit nsfw stuff but i am not there for it. some of it has the kind of angst i like? an actual one that i love and they recently posted and the reason am putting them here is infinitesimal. best friends to lovers and tho usually it's not my cup of tea.. it's a character study, an interpretation of klance in a modern world i dare say,, which is very similar to mine. the thing about them is that i like their characterization a lot, and in no love in this, i like what kind of background stories they give to klance in their aus. i haven't read many by them, so if u want u can check them out.

i just realized i have put some lowkey sad/fucked fics here... i did remove 5 rn... i hope its all good damn why am i doing this i feel like am putting myself naked out there when i recommend my favs

[finewalls]

Okay i feel the need to get this out of my chest... you can read if you want to but this is more just like a therapy thing for me i guess and maybe don’t read if u have any triggers bc i go in deep (i try to tag this best as possible but in case you are still seeing this and have tw maybe don’t read??)

Anygays, why D*n fucked up my brain (and i’m taking a break):

So backstory first, I have  Emotional dysregulation which basically mean I have super fucking strong emotions and emotional outburst, like i cannot control my emotions when an outburst happens and it actually affects me physically very much.. for example when i feel love for something it’s super intense and it feels like i am on fire and same thing with anger but that comes out as fuming hate and like i can’t even put to words how much those emotions hurt my brain and body, it’s SUPER intense.. and some times when the emotions get too intense i can kinda know how to brush them off or i know how to calm down before i completely lose it. I also used to ‘control’ my outburst by practicing self harm (since i couldn’t hurt others to deal with anger and annoyance i would hurt myself) ANYWAY that all started probably as a side effect to my depression medication (or so my doctor thinks) so i am a mess of depression anxiety and ED yay!

Now to the reason dan can choke: 

so firstly i can say that my opinion on louis and harry has not been changed, i don’t buy any of the shit dan is selling so i’m all good i love my larents who are in love.. but the thing is that this interview hit me so fucking hard.. I love Louis and Harry so much and having to hear/read that they still have to do shit like that (like lie and stunt whatever) it breaks my heart.. it’s so fucking unfair.

So last night when the interview came out and i didn’t listen to it i just read like quotes and the more i read the more my emotions started firing up and i knew that this is another outburst, i thought i was good like i can brush this off if i ignore it.. but ofc i can’t ignore it i love louis too much.. 

So this time i couldn’t brush it off, i couldn’t cool off.. instead i get suicidal thoughts.. I haven’t had those kinda of self harm thoughts in a good while like i was making such good process with my mental health. I had just in the morning visited my therapist and we were making progress things felt good.. and then I get an emotional outburst so intense and it affected me so strongly my brain started telling me to drive off a bridge. I was literally in a car alone listening to Two of Us (remember to stream it loves) and i was thinking about  the interview and Louis and i just started crying and the fucking suicidal thoughts came pouring in and i just felt like i fell down in my mental so much.. I hate that feeling it something i never wanted to feel again but i can’t control them. Luckily i got home and i spent the evening with my sister but like i slept for good 10h but still feel exhausted and like shit. I honestly blame Dan and whoever gave permission/forced louis to do that  for making me feel like this... 

So i think tumblr isn’t the best place for me to be right now bc the feelings i get when i log in.. like i wish there was a way i could explain how ED feels like bc it’s fucking intense.. and it makes me tired and uncomfortable physically.. I just overall feel very fucked up right now.. my brain is giving me thoughts and feelings i don’t want to hear or feel so it’s not that cool tbh. 

I don’t know if any of this makes sense but main point is i don’t feel so great so i’m gonna be a little less active here for a while (but bc i am me i just know i can’t stay away) So i will be back but for now imma keep a bit quiet.. But just to get my emotions in order bc right now they are all over the place. I’m still listening to two of us on loop bc holy fuck that song is so beautiful and my god i love louis..

If u read this i am sorry for that dsfghdjfds i love you all <3 I am okay for now tho like i’m still gonna be here but not as much !

[discoursedumpster]

tw: child sexual abuse, rape, emotional abuse, suicide-baiting, transmisogyny 

I never do call-outs ‘cause they take forever, but this has to stop. 

@sleepdontvisit claims they’re on a campaign to root out “inclusionist pedophiles and pedophile apologists.” 

Instead, they almost exclusively target bi trans sexual abuse survivors, frequently flat-out lying about what those survivors have said. 

(In their whole call-out list, there’s only two people who aren’t trans. And the cis people only get called out for supporting “pedophile apologists,” they aren’t calling the cis people pedophiles.)

They consistently link to receipts that don’t support their statements, knowing that people won’t click through and read all that. 

Many of their call-outs have hundreds of notes, and have goaded exclusionists and even some inclusionists into sending anon hate, suicide-baiting, and death threats to inclusionists who are bi trans sexual abuse survivors. 

It’s not a coincidence that bi and trans people (especially trans women) are the ones that are most frequently stereotyped as sexual predators, in both the gay and straight communities. 

(DID U KNOW: Part of the reason that the acronym wasn’t “LGB” till the early 90s was that radical lesbians said bi men shouldn’t be allowed at Pride because they were rapists.) 

It might be relevant that sleepdontvisit seems to be very biphobic, saying things like, “Why are literally all of the big bisexual bloggers literally the most cringeworthy people I have ever encountered?”

there are two lesbians on their list, out of all the bi people. 

they’re both trans women. 

And now they’ve begun going around harassing trans inclusionist survivors who haven’t heard of their campaign, by implying that they’re “pedophile apologists” too if they haven’t called out these people yet. Or if they say that it’s not okay to call CSA survivors “pedophile apologists.” 

They guilt-trip and threaten anyone who won’t help them in their smear campaign, even discoursers who are calling out individual people already. They are goading exclusionists to harass these people. One of their victims has already deleted, that I know of. 

When one survivor called them out for things like posting content about pedophilia in the ace positivity tag, their response was to go through that person’s blog and list everyone they’d reblogged from who themselves had ever reblogged from one of the people on the list. Which may have been well-intended but comes off as intensely harassing. 

And then they falsely claimed that "ace/aro minors… are being told by adults that it’s ‘normal’ for children to be sexual, so it’s important for them to identify as asexual.”

(That person even said “If you’d like, I can give you a list of exclusionists that none of you are no-platforming (and one of which went hand-in-hand with discourseprincesa and doing just as much harm but is still being defended)” and instead of taking the information, they ignored it, and instead tagged another post to boast that inclusionists ignore callouts but exclusionists call out all their TERFs. I know for sure that one isn’t true, @allosexisterfs​ is mine and it contains a list of about 250 exclusionist TERFs, that sleepdontvisit hasn’t said a word about that I know of. BUT ANYWAY) 

If you care about survivors, please spread the word to no-platform sleepdontvisit, and to stop spreading their lies. 

This is loooooooooong because they have been targeting so many people. 

I will try to make it easy to read. 

I’m going to list each person separately, link to the receipt(s), and show why the person isn’t a “pedophile apologist”. In no particular order: 

memestealingasexual:

They are targeting biromantic, bi/demisexual, agender memestealingasexual/@thegenderlessbisexual​/@justqueerthoughts​/ @thekidsalreadyknow​ for supposedly associating with pedophile apologists. 

(This is one of only a couple people on the list where I don’t know if they’re a survivor. It’s none of anyone’s business obviously, it’s just that everyone else involved blogs very openly about being a survivor. And that’s important because they’re trying to sell the entire thing as being pro-survivor, when it actually involves attacking survivors.)

Their only receipt for this is that memestealingasexual talked to someone on Twitter who had also, in a separate conversation, told sleepdontvisit that some survivors look at loli stuff because they identify with it, instead of looking at it in a sexual way. 

Then they call this “a nice web of every big inclusive blog supporting and promoting pedophiles who consume child porn lmao!” 

robotbisexual (formerly theangrybi):

They are targeting bi trans and intersex CSA survivor @robotbisexual as a pedophile apologist. Their only receipt for it: an old call-out post where robotbisexual/theangrybi said “@leavesurvivorsalone is so fucking violent that without a single fucking example other than the fact that I think they’re violent, they come to me (a CSA survivor) and scream that I’m a pedophilia advocate… Also as a warning: they are apparently mobbing and viciously abusing and wishing harm on anyone who reblogs this post. Especially if you’re a CSA survivor. Please be careful.“ 

If you’re re-reading that, trying to figure out how robotbisexual became a “pedophile apologist” for saying that this person had "started a campaign to call everyone who disagrees with you (including multiple CSA survivors) ‘pedophilia supporters’”?/???????????????… don’t worry, so am I. 

wetwareproblem:

They are targeting bi trans woman CSA survivor @wetwareproblem because she responded to the claim of “pedophile apologist” by musing, “Hey, remember that time you faced off against half a dozen guys larger than you, while they were surrounding you and threatening to beat the shit out of you, because you were protesting in an attempt to have child rapists and pornographers charged and convicted? Good times.” 

They called this a “frankly irrelevant sob story” and said, “We get it, you’re the greatest martyr to ever martyr because you posted an unverifiable story on the internet where you’re completely anonymous.” 

Then they called her a pedophile apologist just for (allegedly) saying that pedophilia, which is in the DSM, was a mental illness. And followed it up with a list of demands, implying that if she doesn’t meet their demands to help them in their campaign, they will continue to target her for harassment too. 

rainfelt: 

She’s cis, but she’s still a bi non-CSA abuse survivor. They explicitly target @rainfelt​ solely because she defended one other person on this list. Their only receipt on her is her saying, “[People who believe sleepdontvisit] are losing a fantastic resource, and they’re losing it because they made the mistake of trusting [sleepdontvisit]. Which, one can’t help feeling, was exactly the plan.” 

socialjusticeichigo:

A multiromantic, ace, genderfluid blogger. The only receipt on them: they reblogged a post rebutting one of sleepdontvisit’s callouts. 

The rebuttal said things like “As a sexual abuse survivor who has worked in the mental health field, I have a really big problem with people pointing at sexual abuse survivors who explicitly state (as in the luchagcaileag link above!) that they have zero attraction to children and feel physically nauseous at the idea of exposing children to anything sexual, and that they have kinks that are obvious responses to their sexual abuse that they are using to try to heal from their sexual abuse, and saying ‘THIS PERSON WANTS TO RAPE KIDS AND ANYONE DEFENDING THEM IS JUST AS BAD.’”

They even pointed out that “everyone you are calling a pedophile apologist, or a pedophile, is a fucking sexual abuse survivor who is fighting pedophilia and child sexual abuse.”

This is not an example of @socialjusticeichigo being a “pedophile apologist.” 

But it does have an example of sleepdontvisit lying about what people are saying, in the rebuttal. (the lie: ”they’re literally saying ‘enjoy[ing] art of adults fucking children is just content people ASSOCIATE with pedophiles, they’re not actually pedophiles!! :)’”)

evilguacamole: 

Same exact thing actually, for @evilguacamole, except this blogger appears to be a cis bi guy. The sole receipt: that he reblogged that same rebuttal. 

This is starting to look like a personal vendetta. 

periegesisvoid/golbatgender:

Bi/trans/aro survivor and one of the people being targeted the most often by exclusionists.

This one is especially messed up. The first receipt is @periegesisvoid​ noting that they’re being harassed by @bipeoplearentyourpawns​, who then reblogs it to make fun of them. (And to implicitly acknowledge the other thing in the post, which is that bipeoplearentyourpawns suicide-baited @luchagcaileag​.)  

But of course that’s not what the receipt is for; I haven’t seen any exclusionists call out bipeoplearentyourpawns for consistent harassment and suicide-baiting. No, it’s somehow trying to claim that the problem here is… that this somehow implies that periegesisvoid is a pedophile apologist?? 

The second receipt is periegesisvoid suggesting to luchagcaileag that she should turn off anon, because of that same suicide-baiting. 

(The suicide-baiting isn’t just bipeoplearentyourpawns. It also comes from sleepdontvisit’s call-out efforts.) 

The third receipt is from periegesisvoid’s discourse sideblog, @golbatgender​. It’s a reblog of a list of variations on radfem rhetoric, such as SWERFs vs TWERFs, and the different positions each group holds. 

It points out that radfems like to say that all sex work is rape, that porn is rape, that prostitutes should be shot, that all kink is rape and abuse and pedophilia, that doms should be shot, and that all “Bad Ships” (ships that portray abuse) are rape and abuse and incest and pedophilia, and that “Bad Shippers” should kill themselves. 

This is still not pedophilia apologism. Saying that people make huge negative generalizations about sex work, porn, and “Bad Ships” is not saying that pedophilia, or even sexual abuse, are okay. 

vergess/intersex-ionality:

Another of their trans bi and intersex sexual abuse survivor targets, @vergess/@intersex-ionality, has already left tumblr after months of continuous targeted emotional abuse, from exclusionists trying to claim they were a “pedophile apologist.” Including suicide-baiting and death threats. 

sleepdontvisit clearly hasn’t noticed they’re gone, and continues to direct harassment their way. The receipts they link to explicitly call vergess a “pedophile apologist” for saying that it’s important to include not just pedophilia (technically just attraction to children), but ephebophilia (attraction to teens) in the definition of a "minor attracted person”. 

And for saying things like “if you can’t stop looking at [fictional and/or consensual sexual content], you are trapped in a cycle of self harm, and need to get outside help from parents, partners or doctors.”

They also specifically target them for statements like “Not all kink is sexual. Claiming that is a form of hypersexualization. Stop doing it.” How that is “pedophile apologism” is beyond me.

The same receipts also try to call them a “pedophile apologist” for saying that it’s possible to be a non-offending pedophile and to deserve to live, and for talking about how their abusers were not pedophiles, but were abusers who were looking for easy prey in the form of children. 

I understand why a lot of people don’t think anyone with pedophilic disorder deserves to live. 

What is unacceptable is that people who don’t believe non-offending pedophiles deserve to live are instead attacking survivors who say they do, and trying to get those survivors to kill themselves. 

If you do this, you can’t claim you are supporting survivors. Telling people to kill themselves, and even just sending anon hate, is emotional abuse. It is not okay to abuse survivors and pretend you’re defending them. 

courteousmingler:

According to their receipts, trans lesbian survivor @courteousmingler is a pedophile apologist for saying “as a victim of CSA myself, it makes me deeply uncomfortable that you see a cartoon depiction of a young girl and choose to immediately interpret it sexually. those images are of young girls singing, dancing, and having fun with one another in large poofy dresses- you projecting sexual themes onto those images is your decision, and it’s a disgusting one.” 

They also try to get her for, in their words, just “interacting” with someone who they happen to know has a shota/loli porn sideblog. The interaction is that person complimenting @courteousmingler on a long post, and her saying thank you. 

I guess if she didn’t want to be called a “pedophile apologist,” when someone complimented her she should have stopped and done some serious digging to see if she should even acknowledge them. Trans survivors, take note! 

(Interestingly, they also attack her for allegedly “target[ing] survivors to discredit them”. Which seems like total projection because that’s exactly what their entire campaign is.)

feminismandmedia:

Almost all of their mods are out sexual abuse survivors and about half of them are trans. sleepdontvisit is targeting all of them as a group, but especially singling out Bethany, (@bigballofwibblywobbly), one of the other two cis bi survivor on this list. Because when they told her she was still reblogging from “a lot of blogs associated with pedophiles,” and gave her receipts, she didn’t stop. As you can see from this post their receipts don’t demonstrate that people are associated with pedophiles???????

justonepurpose:

Their only receipt for this aspec trans blogger is that an anon said @justonepurpose “told Mod Des to just ignore being called a pedo apologist bc ‘im called that for being an inclusionist’”. No link to that, and no evidence for them actually being a pedophile apologist.

rey-is-ace-rey-is-aro: 

A, I think, quoiromantic or biromantic trans ace survivor. The only thing related to pedophilia in their receipt is that they reblogged something where @antiantis-saltmine said that “Drawing or writing anything involving minors and relatives, no matter how sexual, is completely legal as long as the characters are fictional.“ 

That sounds really bad, right? Unless you keep reading and see that they’re specifically talking about people attacking minors/survivors. And that that’s the entire point of @antiantis-saltmine: that CSA survivors get harassed and called pedophiles for reading about their own experiences. 

And, if you look at what else @rey-is-ace-rey-is-aro​ has to say about it, you might see their post about "antis” sending “actual live child-porn of real people to artists/CSA Survivors.” 

That’s what they’re responding to.  

luchagcaileag:

This is the one person that they manage to call out as actually reblogging child porn.

Their call-outs of @luchagcaileag​ are still problematic: they assume that several tags that don’t have child porn in them do, without checking. They list the statistics for sexual assault in the LGBT community and blame trans abuse survivors for those sexual assault rates, and then call them “freaks”.

But the main problem is that even if you don’t understand that a trans lesbian CSA survivor can reblog child porn to vent and have “No interest to speak of in actual children, though, which is something I’m glad for”… even if you think that she’s just a pedophile in denial…

the result of sleepdontvisit’s callouts is NOT that people are reporting or blocking this person, it’s that they’re sending messages like “trans girl who likes lolicon = naw your just a greasy man pretended to be a woman so people will excuse your pedophilia,” “I hope someone rapes you to death,” and “🔪Slit ya wrists ho🔪”.

This is the kind of thing the survivors on this list are getting from people buying into sleepdontvisit’s campaign. En masse.

tirediscourse:

@tirediscourse is a cis bi grey-ace non-csa abuse survivor. The only receipt for her shows that she’s on the “pedophile apologist” list because… she believes it’s possible for non-offending pedophiles to exist, and she doesn’t want to follow someone who doesn’t believe that and who says that it’s not okay for survivors to read fic about their experiences.

antiantis-saltmine:

This entire blog is run by 5 sexual abuse survivors, three of whom are out as both trans and bi/pan I believe. The receipt on them has them supporting a sexual abuse survivor, who doesn’t experience sexual attraction to anyone, who reads stories about rape and child sexual abuse because it resonates with their experiences, and is upset that they get pressured to repeatedly come out as a survivor if they don’t want to be harassed about it. 

It also seems as usual to be targeting them for saying that non-offending pedophiles can exist, and that pedophilia is a mental illness. And for saying that if a character is a pedophile in canon it’s okay to say that character is a pedophile, which is hardly a ringing endorsement. 

Again, do not attack sexual abuse survivors who think pedophilia is a mental illness. Attacking survivors for thinking pedophilia is a mental illness only hurts SURVIVORS. 

tenitchyfingers: 

A possibly-cis aroace trauma survivor. The receipt says they “think pedo jokes are funny.” It links to a single “pedobear joke” post, where in the notes @tenitchyfingers says, “Pedobear was not a joke at the expense of CSA victims, it was at the expense of pedophiles and the concept of pedophilia itself.” 

Then it says they support “shipping minors with adults,” but the only receipt it gives for that is a reblog of a survivor shipping a character who’s minor in canon solely as an adult. 

vaspider:

Another bi trans abuse survivor. This one was mentioned in a separate post, and didn’t make it to the new call-out list. Maybe because their only receipt was that @vaspider​ liked a post where @autismserenity​ said “It’s okay to unfollow me”.

This is purely an attempt to create an atmosphere of fear among inclusionists, and especially among survivors: “watch out whose posts you like, or you’ll end up on my list getting suicide-baited!”

repstar3:

A self-identified pedophile who is not involved in ace discourse and has been consistently attacked by both sides.

autismserenity:

The reason that repstar3 is on the list. This bi trans abuse survivor first made the list of “pedophile apologists” for pointing out the months-long trend of exclusionists calling trans CSA survivor inclusionists “pedophile apologists,” which sleepdontvisit has now intentionally brought to a boiling point.

Next it was for explaining the difference between how an abuse survivor engages with child porn, and how a pedophile does.

Then they really screwed up: repstar3 told them that child porn had been how he’d kept himself from abusing anyone in person before he got into treatment, and they believed him. It emerged that of course, he was sending nudes to minors who asked for them, as young as 14. On the other hand, autismserenity wrote several thorough posts about why this was not okay, deleted repstar3′s posts, and apologized to a survivor who felt they were being spoken over.

Most recently, it was for reblogging a post that debunked a callout post for @roachpatrol (who as far as I know isn’t involved in the discourse). I’m not sure how this is supposed to be pedophilia apologism, since the callout was debunked.

in conclusion: 

sleepdontvisit’s call-out campaign is incredibly harmful to CSA survivors, and is blatantly targeting the bi and trans communities, people who are already smeared as predators. 

It’s blatantly trying to play on people’s underlying belief that these groups are predatory. It’s deliberately encouraging people to harass and abuse survivors, in the hopes of silencing bi and trans discoursers and discrediting inclusionists. And it’s full of lies. 

[slonechnik]

.