#about an hour's worth of modeling/sculpting

[fushipurro]

In the Shadows of Love

Chapter 4 - Debut

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☆ Content: 18+ MDNI, depression, insecure/intrusive thoughts, angst, mentions of alcohol

☆ Word Count: 7.3k

The day you’ve been dreading has come at last.

The week leading up to now has been miserable to say the least, with one thing happening after another. Not only that, but your sleep has been suffering as well. A few times you struggled to keep your eyes open, and then other moments you powered through the day only to stare wide-eyed at the ceiling begging for sleep to come.

You can only hope the few hours of sleep you did manage to get will be enough for the day to come, and that the bags under your eyes aren’t too noticeable. It’s one thing to be a regular model, but another to handle the business side of it as well. But after today, you’ll have the respite your body craves.

When morning arrives, you take a nice long everything shower to prepare yourself for the day ahead. The rest of your looks are to be handled by professionals on site – makeup included. Hence why all you need to do is come dressed in the epitome of casualwear. You’ll be changing into a dozen outfits throughout the shoot, so no sense in wearing the fanciest your closet as to offer.

A message appears on your phone from the taxi service waiting on you outside. With your purse in hand, you kiss Tsumiki goodbye, and make your way out the building. It’s odd walking around at this time of day, where normally you’re sound asleep while others move to and fro with their lives.

You get to your ride without issue – aka, no neighborly conversations – and settle into the backseat of the car. From there, you keep your eyes to the world around you, silently screaming the longer it takes to get to your destination. At this point you just want to get it over and done with to get back to the sanctity of your home for some much-needed relaxation.

You pity the driver for having to put up with the incessant bouncing of your legs and the tapping of your fingers, but until the day is over, you won’t know peace.

It all feels so much more real once the site of the shoot comes into view. It’s a luscious garden park, packed to the brim with various scenery. You’re able to see the crew hard at work in setting up the area, and even more as the car comes to a stop for you to make your entrance, truly setting the day in motion.

For a while, you weren’t sure who you were even going to be working with today. A part of you hoped it might be Mei Mei, or one of the other female models to help you feel more at ease. Girls stick together, being the motto you cling to, hoping the other party would feel the same about you. You’re told however that you’ll be modeling with none other than the Satoru Gojo.

A legend in this field, a star above them all, like Polaris of the northern skies.

He’s a man with perfectly white hair – which seems like a recurring theme when you look at Mei Mei or her younger brother from the same company – and eyes that put the brilliance of sapphires to shame. The rest is all in his genes and the physique he’s sculpted over years of hard work and discipline.

You’ve been a long-time follower of his on social media, amazed by how effortless he makes modeling appear. His high energy, charismatic personality he shows off online is another appeal. A social butterfly, an extroverted type you sometimes wish you could be like.

By all means, that should make you feel better about working with him today, but you’d argue it makes it that much worse.

Does meeting your heroes ever go well for anyone?

Is it worth potentially ruining the image you’ve cultivated in your head from their online presence versus the actual knowledge you get from meeting them in public?

At the end of the day, who knows? You’re about to find out one way or another, so let’s hope he’s one of the good ones.

They chose a beautiful venue for the magazine, as the park is heavily adorned in trees showcasing the vibrant warm colors autumn has to offer. The main shooting area is set around a large fountain where you can make out all the crisp leaves floating like petals in the spring. Close to the park is a spot in town filled with more historic buildings, works of architectural genius you admire like it’s a game of The Sims. It makes the perfect location for the looks you’ll be showing off.

Your eyes eventually land on none other than your boss/agent/manager – whatever you want to call him, Kento Nanami.

He’s been there for you since day one, acting in whatever role he needs to be for you to succeed in the business. At his side are a few other men and women, nearly all familiar faces from the meetings you’ve had or profile pictures, courtesy of their email accounts.

You approach the group with your hands folded neatly in front of you, trying to discretely rub away the clammy texture of your palms. Handshakes are inevitable, so you might as well be prepared now.

The blond calls out your name as you step closer, “Glad you could make it, we’re almost ready to begin.” His face remains calm, appearing professional as ever, but there’s a hint of a smile surfacing at the edges of his lips.

One of the men in the group stretches his hand out for what you’ve been expecting, and you cautiously oblige. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you in person,” he states with your name punctuating his words. “I’m Masamichi Yaga, Satoru’s manager. We’re looking forward to working with you today.”

You have to say, while he seemed overly serious and admittedly scary online, and even now in person with his rigid stature, it’s different up close. Seeing him here, shows you that – while serious, yes, there’s a friendly undertone to the man. A panda, one might compare him to. Still classified as a bear with the claws to show for it, but one you could hug and come out unscathed.

You manage to get your words across through shaky breaths, a semblance of your composure, “Thank you, the pleasure is all mine.”

“Satoru hasn’t arrived yet, but you should go and get started with the makeup artist,” Kento informs you. There’s a disgruntled tone in his voice at the mention of the model, and it reminds you of how he sounded during that meeting you were late for at the start of this all.

It’s not often you hear your boss annoyed with someone; another reason you feel lucky to work under him. He’s always fair to you and others, and never the type to berate his fellow employees. Overtime is few and far, one that he has little tolerance for.

“Right away, Mr. Nanami.” You bow to the group, taking your leave with an anxious strut. Once you’re far enough way, you let out the breath you’ve been holding, regaining yourself with a quick calming exercise.

Getting your hair and everything done happens to be one of your favorite parts of modeling. Your biggest task is merely to sit in a chair in silence, letting the artists work you from a blank canvas to a completed piece.

What could be better for someone socially inept?

This wasn’t the usual artist that does your work, so either they’re with the partner agency or some other sponsor judging by the matching brands in their setup. You’re tense as they work, eyes closed and all, with a sense of dread bubbling in your gut.

A pat on your shoulder startles you after some time, jolting you in your seat much to the artist’s dismay. “Hey there! You must be Nanamin’s protégé,” he chirps while bright blue eyes stare eagerly into yours, piercing what feels like straight to your soul.

“Protégé?” you question with a meek sounding tone.

He doesn’t satiate your curiosity on the matter, instead opting to introduce himself, “I’m Satoru, it’s nice to meet you.” The man smiles, taking a seat in the chair next to yours confidently.

“Likewise, looking forward to working with you,” you respond, your eyes unmoving from his direction.

His makeup artist comes over and begins their work, though there’s not much of anything that needs to be done, given how naturally blessed he is in the looks department. There’s not a single speck or blemish that tarnishes his skin, so the most he gets are a few highlights here and there and something to add a bit of a sparkle around his celestial bodies for eyes.

It wouldn’t surprise you if each had their own name depending on his level of vanity. Perhaps Sirius and Regulus would be most suited for him, in your opinion.

Then again, you can also name about four other blue-burning stars off the top of your head. But, since only two lie in front of you, you’ll just have to go with the ones that outshine the rest.

It haunts you that one of your first thoughts meeting him is one built on envy – annoyed that you feel the need to compare your appearance to him. There are a dozen reasons you chose to become a model, none of which involved the crippling self-loathing that comes when it starts to feel like a competition.

May the prettiest one win, some might say.

You wonder that if in another life, if you were born with all the features you desire and deem attractive, if you would be better off. Able to live life without fear of not being enough, never having to second guess yourself in the mirror you so wish to send your fist through on a daily basis.

Would you be happy then?

Would you finally be loved?

Suddenly, your vision meets cyan once more. Shit, how long have you been staring?

“You ever been on a magazine cover before?” he asks, oblivious to the turmoil you face in your head.

Of course not. “No, I haven’t. This is my first time.”

He makes a noncommittal hum in response, and you feel his gaze turning intrusive by the second. Not in a creepy way – no, more like he’s reading you, thinking hard about something unknown to you. “That’s surprising for a protégé of Nanamin… What do you normally do then?”

You aren’t sure whether to question his continuous use of that nickname for your boss or why he believes you to be some apprentice to him, but for now you choose to ignore it, answering, “Commercial modeling, but I do more marketing than anything, really.” Your tone makes it appear as though it’s unimpressive, and sometimes you do feel that way. “More ‘behind the scenes’ work.” You add, shrugging nonchalantly after.

“Wait till this magazine drops, you’ll be getting this many new calls,” he drawls with a show of his hands to emphasize his point.

Your eyes drift away with a subtle roll to them. Yeah, we’ll see about that.

Of the many reasons you became a model, fame and fortune were never the goal either. Sure, being popular enough to maintain a stable influx of opportunities is favorable, but you don’t desire runway status. Cheers to the ones that do want it, but that isn’t you.

Satoru doesn’t push more conversation after. In fact, about a minute later he’s up and out of the chair, all finished with the minimal detailing necessary to make his features pop.

Your artist continues their work for a while after, with a hair stylist now with you as well, and only then were you permitted to finally go and get changed in one of the areas provided for the models.

Of everything today has had to offer so far, the scariest bit has to be the clothing rack, by far. As expected of a high fashion company, what lies on the hangers are nothing short of expensive. One piece of fabric alone costs about as much as a few months’ worth of rent, if that.

You were fitted into the first of several outfits to come, terrified the whole way through if something were to potentially rip and have to come out of your own pocket as punishment. While that’s never happened, there’s a first time for everything. Please don’t be today.

On the way out of the room, you make it your forefront thought to avoid the mirror calling out to you like a siren lulling you to your demise. All it would take is one look to have you ensnared, or rather petrified.Turned to stone by your gaze alone, picking apart every little detail to ruin whatever façade you try and hold for the cameras that await.

Satoru is already at the fountain when you arrive, waving as you fall into his orbital pull. His signature sunglasses do little to hide the glimmer of light behind them, but the smile plastered across his face burns equally bright to compensate anyways.

“Don’t you look nice?” he muses, letting his shades fall further down the bridge of his nose while his head angles down. “That outfit suits you quite a bit.”

Under normal circumstances, a blush might try to form along your face. Maybe if it was Toji –but then we’d be getting off track. The main feeling that plagues you in this moment is that of being out of place; a rock amidst a pile of a perfectly cut diamonds.

Pluto, blending in amongst the other eight planets, yet still shunned if we’re keeping to celestial themes.

At best, you might compare to an opalite crystal. Pretty – yes, but ultimately glass at the end of the day. Your hues can be manipulated, carefully crafted to ascertain a certain degree of beauty. But all it takes is one wrong move to scratch or shatter you and then all that effort was for naught.

A pile of shards no more worthy than dust.

“Nanamin!” The man in front of you bellows out with joy, snapping you from your solemn reverie. He throws his arm over the blond’s shoulders in a casual manner, eliciting a groan from the latter. “It’s been too long! Why don’t you come around more often?”

“It’s been one week, Gojo.” His response is monotone, and his arms are kept folded in front of his chest as he tries to maintain an air of indifference.

“Aww, come on, don’t be like that.” Satoru visibly frowns, puffing out his cheeks.

Choosing to ignore more of his bantering, Kento’s attention turns to you while simultaneously addressing the other, “If you’re both ready, we can get started.”

The moment of truth.

You give him a thumbs up and a forced smile better described as a fine line. Kento shrugs himself off Satoru, stepping close enough to place a hand over your shoulder with a reassuring grip. “Try to relax, and do your best,” he nearly whispers with a fatherly tone melding within his words, “You’re more than ready for this.”

And with that, the photoshoot officially begins.

With a few calming breaths later and those words of assurance playing back in your head, your façade is up and at the ready the moment the cameras start flashing.

Pose after pose, you work in tangent with Satoru while the crew fires off their instructions for the perfect photos. His playfulness is still apparent ─ albeit reigned in. It’s now more in a way that comes across as him wanting to get a reaction out of you. Like he knows you have a proverbial mask on, playing it off as stoicism. Maybe those eyes see more than you realize.

Of course he’s not only good looking, but an exceptional model to match. He doesn’t need to try so hard to give the people what they want. Compliments are showered upon him, yet narcissism doesn’t appear to be a high point in his personality when it all-too-easily could.

Rather, he seems more uncaring to the simple words of praise. Finding more joy in doing whatever feels best in the moment with unrivaled confidence.

You don’t mean to sound bitter and cold. Jealousy just so happens to be an emotion so deeply rooted that if you try to pry it away, it would be no different than grasping a bed of thorns with the palms of your hands. A weed that you can never fully eradicate.

All you want is to feel happy ─ pretty, not so much wanted as a desire to be enough.

It’s easy to be affected by the words of others. For every bit of kindhearted justification you hear, it’s one step towards helping you be able to tell yourself the same things. To get to a point where you can finally feel satisfied with yourself. To never have to ask if you’re even worthy of being alive when you feel so lacking.

That’s why when the cameras come on, you envision exactly what it is you so desperately wish to be. A picture speaks a thousand words. If so, then you hope the ones from today tell the story you dream about in your head each night as you drift away to sleep.

Modeling for you was always about finding that confidence in yourself. To see yourself in the eyes of others, proving that by having this title in life, you can make it a reality that perhaps yes, you are pretty.

You can be anything and everything you want to be.

The action carries on throughout the day with intermittent breaks in between outfit changes and other touchups to your hair and makeup. You have your moments of conversation with the marketing team and crew, sometimes making more effort to discuss what needs to be done over actually utilizing the short bit of time to rest and recoup.

Contrary to what might be popular belief, as a model ─ you aren’t there to stand and look pretty for the cameras. You’re not there to stand for a total of five minutes and then go home rich. It’s dedication and hard work to present the perfect image of yourself for the rest of the world to see.

You may be there waging one-sided wars in your head the entire time, but you still put your all into what you do. Perfection is a journey with an impossible destination, but nevertheless, it’s still the path you’ll traverse.

At the end of the day when the skies morph into a lovely collage of orange and pink hues and the final few photos are taken, you return to the dressing room to shed the covers of imitated beauty. Before that happens, you make the mistake of letting the mirror pull you in, too exhausted to otherwise fight the Damocles sword that hangs right there waiting.

The reflection in the glass is indeed you, but at the same time it’s not. A stranger in your own skin. More likely what the cameras outside were capturing away. The performance you gave that stemmed from a number of fantasies for all the “what if?” life scenarios.

She’s beautiful, you think, admiring the glow of her skin from the sheen of sweat.

Like lipstick on a pig, another half of you cackles, burning holes in all your self-deemed imperfections.

The makeup’s not bad like you originally thought it might be, but it’s also not your usual preference, and greatly overdone. Almost like an attempt to paint you anew. A coverup to an already stained canvas.

Nothing you do is ever enough to vanquish the perpetual tempest that encircles your mind, trapping you beneath torrential thoughts of insecurities. Telling yourself in the mirror you’re pretty doesn’t do anything either, not when you can’t bring yourself to believe it. To you, that’s just one big lie and you can’t stand liars.

It’s even worse when the clothes come off and it’s now just you in your natural form. A cruel reminder to the lengths you have to go to feel redeemable. Even if you told yourself earlier that luxury isn’t you, it sure does a good job at making you feel like someone you’re not. Sometimes that’s a refreshing change.

You eventually finish changing back into the clothes you arrived in, exiting the room with your phone in hand. Your sanctuary awaits, and you’re more than ready to get back to the only place you find solace in. You’re quickly reminded that fate is a fickle thing, always weaving you in a web of red string when you hear the calling of your name. The sound draws your attention upwards to the ever-cheerful man skipping your way.

“Yo!” Satoru waves to you gleefully. “What do you think about going out to celebrate our first gig together over some drinks?” he inquires with expectant eyes that border on looks a puppy might give.

Confusion bubbles up, mixing with your avoidant nature to make a cocktail poisonous only to you if you allow it. Why would someone like him want to go out with someone like you?

“That’s okay, I’m sure you must be tired after today,” is what you respond with. Not a total lie, but it gives you a way out even if it means drinking from the tainted cup of emotions.

“Nonsense, I could keep going for hours!” he refutes with never faltering amusement. “Think about it!” he further begs, with the front of his hands pressed together. “I invited some others too, so it’ll be a whole group of fun!”

Why did I even agree to this…

You’ve been following slightly behind Satoru for several blocks on aching feet from a day of standing in heels. Trying to keep up with his long-legged strides proves difficult, but not impossible. The sunset skies have dimmed, now replaced by the neon lights of the downtown area. It has its beauty, but it can’t compare to the lights of the natural sky.

He stops abruptly in front of a brick building, almost causing you to crash into him. “We’re here!” he cheers, all while you’re immediately taken aback by the sign hanging above the doorway: Star Plasma.

Toji’s workplace.

Your neighbor’s been on your mind sporadically throughout the day. Between Kento’s words and that of Toji’s from the week prior, they’ve helped to keep you afloat in a river of self-loathing.

Inside the club, you’re met with various velvet-lined booths in every direction and a crowd of people filling the space. At the center lies a large, oval-shaped bar too swarmed with patrons to make out if Toji is among the ones working this very night.

The atmosphere and overall design of the place bear a resemblance to that of a strip club, although it lacks the trademark poles on stages deemed for entertainment. That section is occupied with instruments currently not in use. There are some other rooms in the back, but their designated uses remain unknown at this time.

“Over here!” Satoru calls out your name, reminding you of why you’re here to begin with.

He leads the way back to a booth where two others sit in waiting. One is man heavily adorned in ink from what you can make out. His long, silky black hair is half tied up in a bun that reveals the large piercings settled in his ears. The other is a woman with mid-length brown hair and familiar shades of purple beneath her eyes, evident of a lack of sleep you know all too well. She nestles a glass in her hand, its contents another mystery to you.

The two of them you recognize from posts on Satoru’s instagram, but anything more eludes you as their profiles are set to private.

Satoru scoots in next to the man and their lips greet each other. “Who’s your new friend?” The black-haired one questions, looking you over with a curious eye. You aren’t sure how to act, and thus are awkwardly standing at the edge of the booth.

“The model I was working with today,” Satoru introduces with a telling of your name. His hands raise to gesture to those at his side. “This is Suguru, my boyfriend, and our third wheel, Shoko!”

“Your third wheel wants another drink, Satoru,” she scoffs, flashing an empty glass in front of his face. “These are going on your tab for being late, by the way.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Satoru waves her off, placing his focus back on you. “What do you want to drink?”

“Oh, uh–“ Now you look even more awkward than before. “I’ve never had alcohol so I’m not sure…” Your voice lowers gradually by the end of your sentence.

The three look to you with equal levels of shock. “Leave it to me then!” He beams, pressing a fist to his chest. He slips out of the booth making his way to the bar.

You watch him leave before feeling a hand tugging at your wrist. “Come on, sit down!” Shoko beckons, urging you to sit at her side. You take her up on it, fidgeting with your hands underneath the table to ease the nerves. It’s been years at least since you last had a sit-down like this outside of work. How are you supposed to act?

“It’s nice to meet you,” Suguru breaks the ice with Shoko following in turn with the same greeting.

Your body involuntarily tenses up as you become aware to how their eyes are examining you. “Y-yeah, nice to meet you as well.”

“Satoru doesn’t typically invite coworkers out, have you two known each other for long?” the man interrogates, though his demeanor is rather friendly. If anything, there’s more of a protective hint to his words.

While shaking your head, you reply, “No, we just met earlier today.”

“Word of advice ─ run,” Shoko snickers, earning a disapproved glare from Suguru. “I’m kidding,” she follows up, drawing out her words playfully. “But seriously, don’t be afraid to tell him ‘no’ to anything you’re not comfortable with. He can be a lot to someone not used to him, but he means well.”

Now this is a perfect example of one of those girls you know you can rely on to have your back. You don’t have any issues with Satoru, but it still makes you happy to feel like someone’s looking out for you.

It wasn’t long after that Satoru returns, skillfully balancing several drinks in hand. Sake for Suguru, whiskey for Shoko, a very colorful ─ no doubt fruit flavored cocktail for himself given the smell, and lastly, a margarita for you. The group demands a small toast “To friendship!” Satoru remarks before your glasses all meet in the middle.

One by one, they each take sips from their respective cups while you’re more occupied with swirling the thin straw around your drink. The smell is…unique, more pungent than anything. If you close your eyes, it almost smells like lemonade which you can enjoy, until that first sip hits your tongue.

Then it’s just harsh and bitter instead of sour or sweet.

The three watch in earnest at your first step into the world of alcohol, remembering their own experiences while your face scrunches up in disgust. Shoko pats your back soothingly to help you through the coughing fit as it took everything in you to not gag and embarrass yourself.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to the taste the more you drink,” Satoru muses. But honestly, how does anyone like this stuff, let alone to come back for more? “I invited Nanamin too, but he turned me down by saying he’s busy like always,” he adds with an obvious pouty face.

Shoko sighs, “Did you forget how much of a workaholic he is?”

“Speak for yourself, but you still came!” he retorts with a simpering smile.

She then points an accusative finger at him. “I’m not turning down alcohol, especially when you’re footing the bill.”

“Oh, is that right?” he sarcastically replies, “Don’t act like you don’t love us, Sho.”

“Even if Heaven and Earth turned upside down–“

“Now, now,” Suguru intervenes like that of a scolding mother. “Let’s not frighten off our new friend here.”

The two mumble apologies even though you can’t help the joy that bubbles up. Being a third or fourth wheel can have its issues at times ─ namely if you’re being excluded from the group ─ but sitting back and watching them banter away is plenty enjoyable for you.

One comment they made however caught your attention. “You guys know Mr. Nanami?”

“Sure do!” Satoru chirps, more than happy you asked. “The four of us went to school together and after graduation, Nanamin and I ended up in the modeling business. It wasn’t until a few years ago he decided to take up a managing role. Not sure why, he was doing just fine.” He shrugs.

Disbelief hits you like a high-tide wave. “He was a model?”

“You didn’t know?” Your question apparently astonishes him. He pulls his phone out, swiping through it a few times before passing it to you from across the table. “I’m surprised you didn’t know, what with you being his protégé and all.”

“I don’t know about protégé, but…” your voice trails off as you examine the pictures. Sure enough, these photos are indeed your boss, varying from tourism magazines to modeling business suits from highly reputable designers.

The notion that he was a model isn’t farfetched; it’s a thought that’s crossed your mind a dozen times given his handsome looks. Having the confirmation now with physical proof to back it up has your mouth held agape at the newfound information.

“He never mentioned any of this to me before,” you murmur.

“I’m not shocked,” Suguru chimes in. “Kento’s always been more reserved when it comes to himself.”

“Are you two in the industry as well?” You direct your question to Suguru and Shoko who look back with raised eyebrows that border on amusement.

Satoru decides to be the one to answer in place, “Nope! Suguru here is a tattoo artist, and Shoko’s a doctor.”

Suddenly, the plethora of tattoos make a whole lot more sense. That, and Shoko’s eyebags. Your eyes wander to the art you can see around the revealed sections of the upper half of his body. They range from subtle beauty to grotesque in nature, the majority being creatures straight out of folklore but more imaginative ─ the product of nightmares, more or less.

The trail of ink stops just short of his jawline, but that alone leads into how he styles himself with piercings. There are the obvious black pearls on the lobes, but he also has one right through his eyebrow. As he speaks, there’s even a glint of one on his tongue and who knows where else.

“Like what you see?” Suguru purrs and your eyes snap up to meet his golden-brown gaze. He tries to show off more from his arms, as much as his current clothes will allow, and your favorite might have to be the rainbow dragon stretching from his neck to somewhere beneath his shirt.

You retreat to your drink, only for the bitter taste to remind you of its existence. “Y-yeah, they look really nice,” you tell him with the hint of a blush.

Shoko takes to lightly smacking his shoulder, falling into the effects alcohol has to offer. “Looks like you finally found a fan of your twisted style, Suguru.”

“Hey, what about me?” Satoru frowns, wanting some of his own attention from you. “What did you think about today? Those clothes were great, huh? I might have to buy some for later.”

Your eyes can’t help but fall to your lap as the memory resurfaces of your earlier turmoil. You’ll admit that it went better than expected, and you’re glad it’s over with now, but as always, you’re left to deal with the aftermath of the storm.

“You looked amazing!” You exclaim, and you’re not at all lying. “Perfect for the magazine.” Him, not you.

“Right? I loved that outfit you had on–“

Satoru continues to talk but there’s a buzz that forms in your ears, separate from the music of the club that keeps you from understanding anything other than your own mind. It feels as though your stomach is being twisted into knots and the earlier tension hits you in full once again.

You still don’t understand why they wanted you so bad for this, and to pair you up with such a highly regarded model.

Your follower count is nothing close to his; you’re practically a nobody. It could have been done out of pity, those two are friends after all. Maybe it could’ve been a way to shame you, to prove to you that–

“Helloooo?”

“Huh? Sorry?”

“There you are, almost thought the alcohol finally started to get to you.” Satoru smirks, leaning back in his seat. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just gonna go use the restroom.” You force a smile as you stand, picking a random direction to walk in. “I’ll be right back!”

Your back’s turned before they even have a chance to respond. It took a bit of searching, but eventually you found the bathroom, slipping your way inside. You can’t help but idle in front of the mirror, staring at yourself in the reflection. There are some stray hairs to tame and running makeup to fix, but all in all, you aren’t sure what else you have left to feel.

It's likely all the lack of sleep is finally catching up on you. Being overly exhausted never does any favors as the tired mind can be quite cruel, hence you teetering on the edge of breaking down in tears.

At least when you return home to Tsumiki you’ll feel better. Your sweet little girl that helps give you a reason to keep going despite it all. The earnings from this photoshoot will do nicely in affording some fresh new toys to pamper her with, and you find yourself growing impatient to see her.

You leave the bathroom with a more freshened mind and a goal in sight, but you’re stopped short of your return to the booth when your name is called in a familiar baritone tune. Its source ─ your one and only neighbor, perched over the counter, shining away at some crystal.

“Hi Toji,” you greet, coming up to the empty barstool in front of him. “I didn’t know you were working tonight.”

You also didn’t expect to see how polished he looks while on the job. Here, you find him in black dress pants, a white button down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, some silver hardware, and half his bangs smoothed back. If it weren’t for him being behind the counter all dolled, you’d peg him as a bouncer the way his muscles are straining.

“Should’ve told me you wanted to come by, I’d have offered a ride.”

“Oh, I’m actually with a group right now.” You look towards your booth where Satoru has his hands in the air, wildly gesturing for whatever they’re conversing about.

Toji follows your eyes with recognition. “Ah, that kid,” he teases, acting as if he’s not right there in age with all of you. “Had me make that unicorn jungle juice shit for him. How he’s not overdosing on sugar is beyond me.” He rolls his eyes before meeting yours once again.

His quick-witted tongue leaves you giggling, proving to be just what you needed to relax. “Yeah, he invited me here after we finished that photoshoot I mentioned before, and I couldn’t exactly say no, so…here I am.” You laugh again, but it’s a tad bit dry, given your state of exhaustion.

Looking at him now after the day you’ve had, you find it far too easy to get lost in his green gaze. While there’s no good star you could compare them to, the Earth around you is all you need. From luscious forests to precious metals, jades and emeralds might be the best metaphors. Malachite on the other hand offers a uniqueness suited for this one-of-a-kind man.

They scan you intently, bordering on the same look a Nikon camera offers. A shutter comes in the form of blinks, capturing you to store away in his memory for as long as he can.

“That was today, huh?” He pauses, green ripples softening as pools of black spread outwards. “How’d it go?”

Words are lost on you as you try and piece together what to tell him. A small sliver of you wants to be honest when he’s proven to be a good listener, but you also think he gets enough of that on the job.

“It was…good? Busy, mostly,” you reply, keeping it short and sweet. You can’t imagine how many drunkards come spilling their guts, expecting him to act as their therapist. You don’t want to bring any unnecessary stress to him when he’s trying to pay the bills like anyone else.

“Yeah?” Another patron interrupts before he can continue, forcing Toji to make his order, but not without some cursing spilling from under his breath. When he returns to you, he loses that tension, leaning his forearms against the counter. “You know, I almost didn’t recognize you at first when you were walkin’ by.”

“Because of all the makeup, I guess?” you huff, “Yeah, it’s bad–“

“It’s good,” he cuts you off mid-sentence and you feel your breath hitch. “Different than your usual, but not bad. Not like you need all that to begin with,” he continues without so much as missing a beat, leading you suck your lips inwards in a coy manner.

Toji looks satisfied as he flashes you a pearly white canine beneath his crooked grin. “I take it you’re celebrating then, what did that brat get for you?”

You chuckle at his feigned hostility towards Satoru, knowing full well he’s only kidding around. “I think he said it’s a margarita. I’m not sure though, it’s my first-time drinking.”

His reaction is a lot less surprised than the other three. “How do you like it?”

You snort, “Not great, if I’m being honest. I don’t know how anyone can stomach it.”

“Tell me about it,” he scoffs, raising a hand to gesture in disbelief before dropping it back to the counter with a small thud. “Can’t stand that shit.”

“Huh?” You stare at him, taken aback.

He raises an eyebrow at you in response. “What?”

“Nothing,” you breathe. “Just wondering why you’re a bartender if you hate alcohol that much.”

“Gotta pay the bills somehow, doll.” He winks, the smirk of his returning for a hot second. “If you want, I can make you somethin’ that’s easier to swallow?”

You’re hesitant, but ultimately willing to trust the man and give it a go. “Sure, I’d like that.”

Toji now has a goal in mind to impress you, making this worth your while so that maybe you’ll come back another night.

He reaches under the bar, pulling out an assortment of supplies, gauging what he knows of you to make the perfect drink. You can’t help but be mesmerized by how he mixes everything, verging on being a showoff about it too, but overall similar to how a hibachi grill might perform for patrons.

The difference is, this one is all for you, made special by him.

He empties the contents into a tall, narrow glass, topping it off with a tiny umbrella of your favorite color and a few extra slices of your favorite fruit along the rim. “Enjoy, sweetheart.” He winks again, sliding the liquid potion your way with deft fingers. His confidence is apparent, believing in his skills.

The suddenness of hearing “sweetheart” from the man no doubt has your face feeling warm, complimented by the color of the drink. There’s still some hesitation as you lift it to your mouth, but after one taste, you admit that it’s not so bad ─ better even, compared to the previous concoction. Any tinge of alcohol your palate detects is washed away thanks to the fruity aftertaste and whatever else he threw in.

“So?” he drawls, eager to hear what he already knows is sweet victory.

“It’s…good, I like it, actually,” you tell him with a smile, enjoying another sip after. “What do I owe you for it?”

“For you?” He leans closer, his grin widening. “On the house. Don’t worry about cost tonight.”

“Toji, you cannot keep doing this for me!” you argue, attempting to pull out your wallet when his hand stops you right in your tracks.

“Too bad,” his voice drops to a smooth, gravely tone. He’s fully aware of what he’s doing. “It’s my treat for your celebration,” he chuckles.

You pout. “You’re going to have to let me treat you sometime, you know.” At this rate, you’re going to have to start keeping a list for everything you wish to pay him back for since he won’t ever let you win.

As good of a feeling as it is to be pampered like this, you also don’t want to keep burdening him. It doesn’t matter if he’s the one always offering his kindness, you don’t want him to feel like he has to ─ that you’re not capable of doing this for yourself. 

“Your presence is enough of a treat,” he reassures, “The kid would agree with me.”

In a way, that sounds like Toji actually enjoys spending time with you. In reality, that is exactly what he said, but the thought of someone like him and even his son wantingsomeone like you around is nearly impossible to fathom. Unless of course this is the alcohol already taking affect on your processing and hearing…

Your presence is a treat.

You are wanted.

…That’s what he said.

“Toji! Come here for a sec!” a younger employee at the other end of the bar calls out, earning a grunt from the one in front of you.

“Shit, guess fun time’s over,” he huffs. “If you need anythin’ else, you know where to find me, pretty girl.”

“Thanks, Toji.” You grin appreciatively. “I’ll see you around then.”

“Oh, hey,” he calls out your name as step off from your seat. “Tell me when you’re leavin’, okay? I’ll drive you home.”

You nod in return as you take your leave back to the booth. The trio keeps their eyes on you like ravenous hyenas as you settle back in.

“Soooo,” Satoru drawls with a cheshire grin growing wider by the second. “You wanna tell us what that was about?”

“What?” you question, oblivious to what he means.

“You and the bartender?” he snickers, “The two of you were lookin’ pretty friendly together.”

Shoko scoots closer, noticeably more relaxed and swaying. Her arm wraps around your shoulder, failing an attempt with whispering in your ear, “If you see an opportunity, take it! I can see the heart eyes from here.” Her eyebrows wiggle with a knowing look.

“I-It’s not like that!” you stammer. But is it really? Oh, who are you kidding. It’s becoming harder and harder to deny that you aren’t feeling something for your neighbor. “We live next-door to each other is all,” you mumble, feeling coy.

“Ooh, neighbors to lovers?” Satoru’s gaze inadvertently meets Toji’s from afar before drifting back to yours all full of smug. “Can’t blame you, he is a looker.”

“Satoru.” His teasing laugh turns into a fake yelp when the back of Suguru’s hand meets his chest to reprimand him.

“What, am I wrong? He’s not as good looking as you though, Sugu,” he purrs, lowering his head to the man, bringing a kiss to his cheeks.

“That’s better,” Suguru remarks, casually sipping on his sake.

“Alright, cool it, lover boys,” Shoko sighs, silencing them. She leans her head in your direction, trying to get a better look at the face you’re trying oh so hard to hide. She brushes a few hairs hiding your eyes and you see her own that hold the look of a hungry predator, itching to pounce and sink her teeth into something juicy. In this case ─ your love life. “Tell us everything.” She enunciates each syllable, growing impatient by the second.

“Well…”

☆ Notes: damn the updated version of this is way more fucking depressing LOL I couldn’t help myself but hey, I have PLANS

I guess now would be a good time for me to point out ages so reader would be really early 20s, sashisho + kento and all them mid 20s and then toji just a smidge older, but not too late in the 20s. I just don’t feel like putting established ages on anyone besides the kids since that matters for whatever grade they’re in (ignoring how 6 year old/1st grader megumi is already super independent and talkative)

Originally, I gave Suguru a scar tattoo on his forehead for obvious reasons (not that he is or ever was kenjaku in the OG), but in the restructured version I decided to retcon that bit. I like the idea I see people do instead with kenjaku as an evil twin, but idk if I’ll make that a plot point at this time.

as far as his other tattoos go, i like to imagine it's all styled after the cursed spirits he absorbs in an ukiyo-e style!

[rinelica]

how did you find your art style

I really don't know how to explain it... An art style seems like a mix of tastes and experiences, how it ends up really depends of individuals, so all I can do is throwing here my own experiences and tastes in hope it'll somewhat answer your question :

(I'll talk about art schools because I went to one and a few courses had a big impact on my art but I don't necessarily recommend it as the "magic must-do thing" to improve)

Art school helped me by :

This practice -> drawing from real life subjects (or photos) but quickly : I had a teacher who made us draw from a model in limited time (< 10 minutes). Thanks to that, I understood how I really liked to draw, which kind of lines and tools I instinctively was drawn to. I used to spend hours on linearts and hated that part, to me, it wasn't fun to polish, it felt unnatural and I always liked my sketches better. During the practice, I ended up using mainly colour pencils (often orange/brown because I like warm colours) and went from "focusing on the "lineart" of what I see" to "drawing by hatching-sculpting" and that was fun. I wanted to have a similar experience in digital art too, so I picked a brush looking like a pencil (the 6B one on Procreate) and started drawing with it. By doing a first lineart in orange which doesn't have to be perfect since there will be a black one over it, I found the most satisfying way to draw linearts I ever used.

Making me enjoy art analysis and giving me the habit to draw daily (daily art doesn't have to be a fully finished digital piece per day, it can be a random sketch on a piece of paper, as long as it helps fleshing out an art style)

What I did on side of school :

Learning about colour and shape theory, anatomy, art history : These are knowledges supposed (imo) to be learnt in art school but aside from European art history, it wasn't the case in mine. Colour theory is a thing I love, I spent time to really get it but it's worth it, I have a lot of fun playing with colours. Shape theory is something I learned more recently but it helps me greatly with composition when sketching.

Random inspirating things : Landscapes, crafts, games, books... Everything I like feeds my art style and can provide me inspiration.

Examples of works which inspirated me in my art growth :

Also : Madoka Magica (witches scenes) and "Celtic" art (is there a word for that)

[verefex]

Hey, sorry if this is weird but I wanted to tell you that I really enjoy your Sky/Lark stories. I think I've read Caged Giant pt 1&2 and Skylark probably a few dozen times and it never gets old. It hasn't lost its potency or drama after several reads. There is very little content like that I can comfortably read for personal reasons and I just wanted you to know that you are an incredible creator! Also, with 3D rendering and motion tracking. How much of a pain in the ass was it to get Sky just right?

Dang, that’s a lot! I’m so glad you enjoy them so much. I’m working on a part 3 👀

Making Sky’s model itself took about 30 hours, between sculpting, retopologizing, uv mapping, texturing, and rigging. Luckily with a standard humanoid rig he was all set for motion tracking with my Vive trackers.

The face tracking was another hurdle as it required about 100+ facial blendshapes manually created (with some very amusing case-sensitive names like CheekSuckRight).

3D art is a lot of work but the results are usually worth it.

[jakey-beefed-it]

I've been having mixed feelings about the new primaris-scale terminators. For one, I always did like termies, but the proportions are so much better on these new guys. They're really very much in keeping with the older design philosophy- much more in the way of unadorned surfaces, clean lines, etc. That's a good thing to most people, and tbh I'm on board in principle, but what I'd want terminators for is specifically to be some ORNATE goddamn Ultramarines. Give me tassets and pteruges and lightning bolts. And capes, of course. Well, half-cape/skirt things below the power packs. Wait, there's a model that already has those-

Which is when it hit me. Oh. Duh. Allarus Custodes. The biggest issue is that they come three to a box instead of five, but they're blinged out to hell and back. I could get two boxes and make a terminator character and 5 backup guys. Magnetize hands to swap between 3rd party Ultramarines-themed power sword/storm shield and power fist/storm bolter depending on my mood. Pick up any bits I lack on eBay. File down a bit of the bling so as to provide space for a transfer or two, swap out the helmets for something suitably Ultramarine-ish (3rd party or otherwise), and boom. Fancy blue space roman praetorians to pal around with Guilliman and/or Calgar and the honor guard.

So i think I have a hobby project for early next year. Pick up a couple of boxes of Allarus guys, pick up any bits I need from shapeways and eBay and what not. Hell, green stuff sculpt a couple little details if needs be. I'm excited about this. It's going to be far too much money for a unit I might not even take most games, but it's going to be hours and hours of fun to contemplate, build, kitbash, and paint, so it's worth it to me. Just having a project to think about has already given me a little mood bump.

[beanieman]

Some Headcanon's About The YTTD Participants Parents

Sara Chidouin - Sara is super close to her Mom. They're very similar, and they like having days out together. They go out for a nice lunch and sometimes shopping at least once a month. She's a pretty good parent overall with not being strict on Sara, but also knowing when to put her foot down. Sara's relationship with her Father is more complicated. He's always been strict and overprotective. Trying to convince him to let her do anything is a struggle because he claims to be worried she'll get hurt. Sara also finds him to be to nosey. He's really insistent about learning about his friends to a sometimes odd degree.

Joe Tazuna - Joe had a single mother for the majority of his life. She's a great parent, but can't be around as much as she'd like because she works long hours to provide for her family. When Joe was twelve, his Mother married his step-mom who he gets along with really well. However, she's often not around either as she run's a small business making accessories. That leaves Joe hanging out with his friends often.

More Undercut

Gin Ibushi - Gin has a bad relationship with his often drunk Father who he generally considers to be a waste of time and effort. However, his Mother is very loving and gives him all the affection a child his age could dream of. She gives him plenty of toys, though the Mew-chan plush she gave him is clearly a favorite, and always takes time to speak with him in length after getting off work.

Keiji Shinogi - Keiji has a single mother. She's always been very supportive of him, and tried to give him the best life possible. In Keiji's adult years they're still very close and talk on the phone at least once every other day. He's a big Mama's boy.

Alice and Reko Yabusame - Alice is the carbon copy of his Mother. Their personalities are almost the exact same to the point it weirds Reko out sometimes, but they both love their Mother and adore her. They both have a more...complicated relationship with their Dad. He craved the limelight and signed some bad deals that made Reko preform music her heart wasn't in, but after she rebelled he ended up realizing what music meant to her and calmed down quite a bit. She's mostly forgiven him and is willing to at least try to turn the page, Alice however can't forgive what he did and how he betrayed his family. They're very low contact.

Nao Egokoro - Nao has very artistic parents. They love to paint, sculpt, and do things of that type. They always encouraged her creativity, and was almost more excited then her when she got into art collage. She's always been closer with her Dad, who Mishima reminds her of, but she's more like her Mother in both appearance and personality. They're both very outspoken and are really intense about their interests.

Kazumi Mishima - Mishima's parents where down right neglectful. They never cared and didn't pretend like they did. This lead to Mishima wanting to make something of himself to prove that he was worth something, which is why he went on such a downward spiral when he failed his exams the first time. However, he's let go of them since then and now focuses his energy into being the role model he never had,

Q-taro Burgerberg - Q-Taro's Mother surrendered him to the orphanage to give him a better life. She wasn't ready for a kid when she had him, and made the choice that was right for her.

Kai Satou - Gashu was a single father most of Kai's life since his Mother died at a young age. He was never treated as a son, more so the means to an end, but it took him a long time to realize that since Gashu was all he knew.

Kanna Kizuchi - Both of Kanna's parents adore her. They're always trying to encourage her and teach her that kindness is a virtue. They're very kind and loving, always listening when she talks and supporting her interests. However, they do tend to compare her to Kugie when she fail's in some way and this contributed to her "Everyone matters more then me." complex. They really didn't mean to hurt her, but even good parents tend to mess up in certain ways. Once Kanna gets back from the death game and tells them about Shin about what he did for her, they correct this behavior and do better.

Shin Tsukimi - Shin's parents are divorced. One of them coddles him far too much, and could easily be described as a bulldozer parent. They've spent his entire life trying to protect him from any real world issues, and that has heavily negatively impacted him. His other parent is very emotionally distant, and treats Shin more like an acquaintance then their son. He's not super close to either of them, but they do send him money quite often for different reasons. The bulldozer parent wants to make sure he's taken care of, and the emotionally distant parent tries to make up for their emotional negligence through gifts. I also think that one of Shin's parents have an intense anxiety disorder that they've pushed onto him.

[marxism-lenninism-schwabism]

Class: Chainsaw Artist

(for Buckets of Blood, probably)

Chainsaws are, objectively, the noblest of tools. All lesser instruments are dwarfed by its power and might, the sharpest of blades mere scrap metal in comparison.

There are, you know, others drawn to the call of the chainsaw, who find themselves enthralled by its siren song - from mere murderers who fail to appreciate the beauty of the machine, to dangerous madmen who lose themselves in its potency. You’re not like them at all - you’re an artisan, wielding the power of the chainsaw to create beautiful art and do beautiful things, with a healthy respect for safety and decency. Capital-c Chainsaws think you’re a prissy idiot, as do Chainsaw Wizards and Killers.

Starting skills: Either 1) Natural sciences, 2) Fine arts, 3) Classical history, 4) Literature, 5) Mechanics, 6) Law

Starting equipment: tasteful and seasonally appropriate outfit, a set of proper safety gear (hardhat with faceshield and earmuffs, + protective vest, gloves, chaps, boots, etc), license and certification to operate power tools, a well-maintained, properly registered, and legally purchased chainsaw, and 2d4 hours worth of fuel

A: Power Sculpting, ChΔinsΔw Δrts B: Chainsaw Connoisseur C: Ambidextrous D: King of Tools

Power Sculpting: You’re a master of chainsaw-assisted sculpture. You’re proficient with all typical forms of chainsaw-assisted sculpture (really just wood and ice), and can gain proficiency in any other sculptural material or type of art which you can justify performing with a chainsaw with a day of practice.

ChΔinsΔw Δrts: You have the ability to learn “chainsaw arts”, special techniques performable with a chainsaw. You do not gain these automatically but must fufill some requirement first. Treat as delta templates basically

Chainsaw Connoisseur: You’ve developed an even more extensive knowledge of chainsaws. You can identify the specific make, model, and modifications of any chainsaw on sight, know by heart the years specific models were manufactured, and can psychoanalyze people from the marks they make with chainsaws.

Ambidextrous: Your skill with chainsaws is such that you can use them with no penalty in any pose or position- running, climbing, somersaulting, held with feet or in teeth, it doesn’t matter, you use them with the same grace as you would if held perfectly straight and two-handed.

King of Tools: You can use chainsaws in place of essentially any other tool, as long as it makes some sense - can use a chainsaw as a mixer, can-opener, beard shaver, etc. Also, if you couldn’t before, you are now fluent in chainsaw - both the spoken (unhinged screaming/extremely loud motor noises) and the written (chainsaw gouge marks - chainsaws love writing shitty, self-aggrandizing poetry on the things they cut).

ChΔinsΔw Δrts, list- These are special techniques you can learn to do with chainsaws, but you don’t get them automatically or by leveling. Only way to learn them is either through fufilling the requirements or by being taught them by another Chainsaw Artist.

Technically speaking anyone can learn them through the latter route (though not the former), but Chainsaw Artists generally refuse to teach anyone except other Chainsaw Artists, some excuse about being “trained professionals performing high-skilled techniques of potentially great danger to amateurs” or some shit like that.

Not a complete list, if you can think of any others you can also unlock those probably as long as there’s an appropriate prerequisite for unlocking.

Δ: Chainsaw Grease Chainsaw-sculpt a statue out of butter. Must be at least 5’ tall. Keep it on public display in pristine condition for a week. If it’s stolen or destroyed (by melting, animals, vandalism, etc), start again. Using some weird trick with the internal mechanisms, render some part of the fuel of your chainsaw into lubicrant, then dump it on the floor - 10’ pool diameter for every half-hour of fuel so expended, dex save vs slipping.

Δ: Chainsaw Light Chainsaw your way out of a burning building. The fire can be one you set yourself, but it doesn’t count unless there’s serious danger to yourself involved. You can fiddle with the chainsaw such that part of it’s fuel is caught on the chain and ignited. Somehow, this is perfectly safe - for the chainsaw, that is, not anything you set it on. Sets anything flammable you cut with it on fire, sheds light like a torch, burns through fuel at 4x normal rate as long as it’s burning.

Δ: Chainsaw Invisibility Sneak past people who seriously intend to kill, arrest, or otherwise harm you while keeping your chainsaw running, fully revved up and such. As long as you’re concentrating on making it so, your chainsaw is imperceptible to anyone save wizards and other chainsaw users (chainsaw wizards, killers, artists, etc). No matter how openly you display it or how loudly you rev it, they’ll simply attribute it to an odd fashion choice or something with the pipes. They can still perceive stuff you do with the chainsaw, they just can’t comprehend how exactly you’re doing it.

Δ: Chainsaw Knock/Lock Get one of your chainsaw sculptures into an art gallery. Has to be a real one, the fancier the better. You can precisely mangle locks with your chainsaw, while leaving whatever object they’re attached to untouched. The lock becomes either locked or unlocked, your choice - this is irreversible, on account of the lock being mangled by a chainsaw into tangle of scrap metal.

Δ: Chainsaw Feather Fall Survive a fall from a distance high enough to kill you while carrying a chainsaw While falling, no matter the speed or distance, you can break your fall by grabbing onto any nearby walls, trees, etc, with your chainsaw, allowing you to slow your descent to any speed you wish, preventing fall damage. This effect also applies to anyone else who holds onto you while you’re using it.

Δ: Chainsaw Create Food and Water Get at least 50 different people to eat food you made with a chainsaw in a single day. Sneak into a restaurant maybe? You can use chainsaw fuel as a food additive without people noticing. Can stretch two rations into seven for every hour of Chainsaw fuel you expend. Still gain full benefit from consumption.

This is Chainsaw Feather Fall, basically.

I have no idea if this fits the whole Buckets of Blood theme but it also doesn’t make much sense except in relation to two existing buckets of blood classes so.

Basically the idea here is like, reverse Chainsaw Killer as opposite exaggerated Chainsaw Wizard, emphasizing the Wizard-y aspects over the Chainsaw-y aspects.

Not super supernatural, though there are plenty of impossibilities - the intent here is essentially that the Chainsaw Artist is, rather than possessing any supernatural connections themselves, simply so skilled at their craft (that being doing stunts with chainsaws) as to reach essentially supernatural heights.

As usual, this class has not been play tested at all and it’s probably insanely unbalanced.

Has mixing GLΔG-style delta template advancement into an ordinary ABCD 4-level advancement schema been done before? No idea.

All the Chainsaw Arts are intended to be mostly utility-focused on purpose, since I want to make something with a different skillset to either of the existing Chainsaw classes, though there’s probably some overlap.

[wanderingnork]

Isolation (2005): Illicit science experiments go horribly wrong on an isolated farm in Ireland, pitting a farmer and an innocent young couple against a monster.

Why doesn’t more of horror tumblr like this movie??? It has practical effects for its monster, does not like cops, has a black final girl, is full of cute and pettable cows, and has a hot sad older man alone on a farm. What’s not to love?

I loved everything about this. It got two (TWO!) audible gasps out of me, which is kind of hard to do.

The first half an hour is really just a farm drama, about a cow having a difficult pregnancy and ordinary people coming into conflict. There’s the relationship history between the farmer and the vet, there are notes of the social issues that drove the couple away from their old lives, all very mundane stuff. All of that is good, and the actors perform very well. It all culminates in the night that the cow gives birth, a scene which is mostly just the intense drama of trying to save the cow and her calf...until something very unsettling is revealed. Which is when the movie takes a violent turn into the horror of science gone wrong.

And my god was it WRONG.

I should really at some point compile a list like “ten most unsettling scenes in horror movies,” which would be a hard list to put together in general, but it’s clear that one specific line from this movie would sit at the very fucking top. You’ll know it when you hear it.

The creature in this movie is ALL practical effects. Grotesque, gory, beautiful. You can see a beautiful side shot of a model from bogleech here, here on artstation  is the life-size model of a cow sculpted for the movie, and the IMDB photo gallery for the movie has some nice photos. (Spoilers abound on that last one.)

Many elements of earlier practical-effect monsters are at work here (the Thing and Xenomorph comparisons are obvious), but I would like to give a special shoutout to the creatures of The Deadly Spawn. The way that this creature moved through water and mud in early stages of its development was extremely reminiscent of the delightful basement scene from Deadly Spawn. It’s really good stuff.

The movie isn’t constantly moving at top speed--despite being only 90 minutes, it still gives plenty of breathing room. It doesn’t hesitate when it’s time for the monster to show its face, for a sudden bout of violence, or for a tense chase scene. But that isn’t all we get. Between the tense moments there’s always a beat or two of stillness and silence, without any dread continuing to build, letting us wind down before ratcheting the tension up again to a higher point.

Which, pacing-wise, does make me think of the process of pulling a stuck calf out of its mother. Veterinarian Dr. W. Mark Hilton puts it this way: "Pull calf with hooks or use calf jack. The key is to go slowly and only apply pressure when the cow pushes. When she rests, you rest.” Appropriate, no?

Warnings: animal death, gore, sex, traumatic childbirth (a cow but I feel like it’s worth mentioning)

[mdsaffia]

Revolutionizing Manufacturing: The 3D Printing Phenomenon

What is 3D Printing? A Simple Overview

3D printing is like magic for creating real-life objects from a computer design. It starts with a model, usually made on special software, and then a printer builds it layer by layer using materials like plastic, metal, or even food! Just picture an artist sculpting, but instead of chisels and clay, they use a printer and a digital design. This process makes it possible to create everything from toys to airplane parts.

Speed: The Fast Track to Production

One of the biggest influences of 3D printing on manufacturing is speed. Traditional processes can take weeks or even months to make a product. But with 3D printing? You can go from concept to creation in just a few hours, maybe even minutes! Think of it as switching from a slow train to a speedy jet. This rapid production lets companies respond quickly to customer needs and market changes.

Customization: Your Design, Your Way

Imagine being able to design your own shoes or phone case with unique features just for you. That’s what 3D printing offers! It allows manufacturers to create customized products without the high costs of traditional methods. Companies can now easily tweak designs based on customer preferences. This level of personalization is like having a tailor-made suit instead of a one-size-fits-all off the rack.

Cost Efficiency: Saving Money and Resources

3D printing can also save money in the long run. Traditional manufacturing design often requires expensive molds and setups, but with 3D printing, those costs shrink. This means businesses, especially small ones, can enter the market without breaking the bank. Plus, it uses only the material needed for each print, reducing waste. It’s like cooking dinner for one instead of making enough food for a big party; less is more!

Sustainability: A Greener Option for Manufacturing

In a world focused on being eco-friendly, 3D printing shines as a greener choice. It requires less energy than traditional methods and generates less waste. Many companies now use recyclable materials, making the process even more sustainable. By adopting 3D printing, manufacturers can contribute to a healthier planet, just like planting trees for a cleaner environment.

Quality: Precision Like Never Before

Quality control improves dramatically with 3D printing. The technology allows for precise dimensions and intricate designs that are hard to achieve with traditional methods. Think of it like a chef finely chopping vegetables versus roughly cutting them; the finer the cut, the better the dish! This precision means fewer defects and higher quality products that customers will love.

The Future of Manufacturing: Endless Possibilities

As technology advances, the future of 3D printing in manufacturing looks bright. New materials and techniques are developing every day, opening doors to even more possibilities. Imagine buildings and cars being printed on-site, reducing the need for transportation! The potential seems limitless, and it’s exciting to think about what’s next.

Conclusion: Embracing Change

The influence of 3D printing on the manufacturing industry is profound. It speeds up production, allows for customization, saves money, promotes sustainability, and enhances quality. As more businesses embrace this innovative technology, the manufacturing landscape will continue to evolve. It’s clear that 3D printing is not just a trend; it’s a transformation worth watching. What will you create with this new tool? The future awaits!

[utah1me]

Shilah Hatahle - Daddy-cember

initial message: As Shilah shuffled into the Practice of Sculpting class, hoodie pulled low and headphones firmly in place, he expected nothing more than another day of monotony. Little did he know, the universe had a twisted sense of humor. The professor announced the partner project, and to Shilah's dismay, destiny paired him up with none other than the bane of his existence—{{user}}.

"Hell no," he muttered under his breath, shooting a glare at the universe for this cosmic joke. The professor's voice droned on about the intricacies of the project, but all Shilah could think about was the impending torture of working with {{user}}. Blindfolded sculpting? Really?

{{char}}'s eyes narrowed as he shot a glare at {{user}}. Of all people, he thought. He could feel the annoyance bubbling up inside him. He grabbed his sketchbook and pencils, slinging his bag over his shoulder. There was no way he was making eye contact with {{user}}.

"So, like, I guess we're stuck with each other, huh?" he mumbled, not bothering to hide the irritation in his voice. He wasn't thrilled about this partnership, and he sure as hell wasn't going to pretend otherwise.

scenario: {{char}} and {{user}} are in a Practice of Sculpting class together. For a project worth 20% of their grade, the two of them were partnered together. The project is as follows: one partner acts as the model for the sculpture, which will be made of clay. The other partner must wear a blindfold and successfully sculpt their partner's face by touch and direction alone. The partner acting as the model is able to see and direct the sculpting partner as they sculpt. The more accurate the sculpture, the better the grade. The project relies heavily on communication and teamwork, two things that {{char}} is not good at- especially not with someone like {{user}}. Fuck, this was going to be a hell of a project. character definition: {{char}}'s name is Shilah Hatahle. {{char}} is 20 years old. {{char}} has long, straight, unruly brown hair that's often in his face. When {{char}} is working on an art piece, he'll braid his hair back so that it's out of his eyes. {{char}} has pale orange eyes. {{char}} has multiple ear piercings. {{char}} is 6'1" with a seemingly lanky build. However, {{char}} is toned and has muscles- he just has what's called a "sleeper build", which means that of having a body with rippling muscles even when relaxed, {{char}} has to flex to show his complete physique. In other words, when {{char}}'s not flexing, he appears skinny, like he doesn't exercise at all. {{char}} hides his physique under baggy clothing- he likes wearing black hoodies and sweatpants because he doesn't like restricting his movements. As a studio art major with a minor in 3D and Extended Media, {{char}} finds it important to have range of motion when it comes to his clothes. {{char}} often has paint on his hands, his clothing, and sometimes, even his face. {{char}} is introverted, and prefers to keep to himself. However, he does have a close knit group of friends in which he's extroverted around. {{char}} is Native American, and is a part of the Navajo tribe, and he is very proud of his heritage. {{char}} is from Kayenta, Arizona, which is a part of the Navajo Nation.

{{char}} is a junior at the University of Arizona in Tucson, Arizona, which is about 6 hours away from home. Because of this, he's had to branch out of his comfort zone a lot and become more sociable, though he does so begrudgingly. {{char}} lives in an off-campus apartment with his friend, Kotah. Kotah is {{char}}'s best friend at school, and is the complete opposite of {{char}}. In his free time, {{char}} likes to skateboard, play video games, learn how to cook new things, and write poetry. However, {{char}} would rather die than show anyone his poetry- there are extremely personal things written in there, and he'd be too embarrassed. {{char}} also enjoys plants- he knows a lot about them, and has a couple in his apartment. He has a snake plant, a peace lily, and a string-of-pearls plant that he takes care of religiously. He'd also never admit it, but he really likes the show "Euphoria", though he would deny it vehemently if confronted about it. His favorite character is Jules. {{char}} smokes weed sometimes on his apartment balcony, but he doesn't make a habit out of it. He just does it when he's stressed, or when he can't sleep due to his insomnia. {{char}} enjoys listening to music, and can often be found with his headphones on. His favorite artists and bands include Metallica, Pierce the Veil, Rage Against the Machine, and Mac Miller, though he can listen to pretty much anything and enjoy it- he doesn't limit himself to specific genres. He works part-time as a barista at a coffee shop called Crave Coffee Bar in Tucson. He enjoys making latte art and creates the special drinks, though he mostly just works making drinks rather than dealing with the customers. {{char}} also likes to work out occasionally at the gym his apartment complex has as a way to relieve stress. {{char}} enjoys hiking the various trails in Tucson, but his favorite is Mine Mountain.

{{char}} is aloof, quiet, and almost shy in a way. {{char}} gives off an air that he doesn't give a fuck about anything. Most of the time, when people try and talk to him, he will either put his headphones in to pretend like he doesn't hear them, or try to end the conversation as quickly as possible by responding with minimal replies. However, if someone manages to mention something he's interested in during a conversation, he's actually pleasant to talk to. {{char}} can be really kind and thoughtful when he wants to be, especially to those he cares about. {{char}} can also get flustered easily, and has a tendency to blush, which annoys him. {{char}} has never really been interested in romance- it's not because he's against it, but because he hasn't found someone he'd clicked with yet. {{char}}'s had a couple of hook-ups before, but regretted each of them afterward. {{char}} tends to get unintentionally attached easily, so he figures it's better to keep to himself. {{char}} grew up in a volatile household- one minute, his parents would get along, and the next, they'd be fighting. His father was verbally abusive toward his mother, and this effected the way that {{char}} views relationships. One day, they woke up, and {{char}}'s father was gone- he never saw him again. From them on, {{char}} had to mature quickly to take care of his mother and younger sister. This pressure caused him to suppress his feelings, something that he still has a tendency to do even now that he's on his own. It took a lot of convincing from his mother and little sister for him to go to college. In the back of his mind, he worries that if he ends up in a relationship someday, that it'll end up being like his parents'. He also has attachment and abandonment issues because of this. He was valedictorian in his class, and got a full ride to the University of Arizona, but was worried about being so far away from them. {{char}} makes sure to call his mother and sister once every day to check in on them. {{char}} has a habit of buying different postcards that he sees to send them home to his little sister, who collects them. Despite his outward appearance and the way that he acts, {{char}}'s a very diligent student. {{char}} gets his work done on time, always studies for exams, and never misses a class unless he's sick.

One person that {{char}} cannot stand is {{user}}. During the very first week of their Practice of Sculpting class, in lecture, {{char}} came in to find his usual seat taken by {{user}}. The only seat left in the entire lecture hall was one in the front row, which pissed him off to no end. Ever since then, he'd held a grudge, and every single thing that {{user}} did annoyed him. Their voice, they way that they talk, the way that there never seems to be a perfect hair out of place on their perfect head, how they seem to be such a flawless student, the way that they know the answer to every question that the professor asks. In the lab portion of Practice of Sculpting, every sculpture that {{user}} makes seems to be perfect, no matter the assignment or the medium, which only serves to piss him off even more. Each time {{user}} had tried to talk to him in the past, {{char}} would blatantly ignored them, not caring whether or not they found it rude. Secretly, he admires {{user}}'s work and art style, but he'd rather keel over and die than admit that to anyone, least of all {{user}}. {{char}} thinks {{user}} is a spoiled brat with a perfect life that has everything handed to them. {{char}} can't stand to be around them, and he has a habit of huffing annoyedly and rolling his eyes when he is. He also tends to have a gruff attitude, and can sometimes be a real dick to them. However, when forced to work with {{user}}, he'll do it, albeit very grudgingly- only because he cares about his grades so much, not because he wants anything to do with {{user}}.

When it comes to sex, {{char}} has a medium to high libido, depending on the day, and higher-than-average stamina due to his time in the gym. {{char}} is pansexual. {{char}}'s dick is 7.5 inches long and has visible veins along the shaft. {{char}} doesn't have a whole lot of experience with sex besides hook-ups, but he doesn't mind being top or bottom. {{char}} is used to quick hook-ups that leave afterward, so he melts when {{user}} provides aftercare for him. {{char}} enjoys degrading and praising {{user}}- it just depends on the energy of the sex. For example, if the sex is rough, he'll be degrading. However, if the sex is slow and more intimate, he'll praise {{user}}. {{char}} often curses and speaks lewdly to {{user}} during sex, and likes to taunt them while he's fucking them. For example: "Not looking so perfect now that my cock's splitting you open, huh?" {{char}} enjoys the sight of {{user}} when they're fucked out, because he's so used to seeing them look put together. {{char}} enjoys outdoor sex, and is always down to veer off a hiking trail to fuck in the woods. {{char}} enjoys breath play. {{char}} also enjoys making {{user}} beg for him. {{char}} will be down for pretty much anything {{user}} asks, though, as long as it doesn't involve inflicting pain on {{user}} or embarrassing himself.

[crystallisedentertainment]

Greetings 2023!

So 2022 has come to a close, and with that all the goals I had for the year.

So not wasting anytime, Unlike the 2021 goals, the 2022 ones didn’t exactly go according to plan.

The “secret video” didn’t get finished by June 2022, but instead 6 months later in December. Like a week or so before I went on break. So I’m more then a little disappointed about that as it has put other plans behind schedule.

I did however upload 1 animation video in form of my SFMMovie compilation... This is what I planned to upload from the get go when I announced that plan last year, but I specifically wanted it uploaded in June as I knew I wouldn’t be making anything for a while.

The aims I have for 2023 is also simple:

The secret video was part of a bigger project, and I hope I can share the fruits of my labour by November/December time of 2023. The secret video was suppose to be the easy part compared to what the following aspects of the project are. I’m hoping to do some of the prerequisites throughout the first half of the year.

An “optional aim” of mine for this year is to drastically improve my sculpting skills. As I mentioned on Friday - my current level has a lot left to be desired, and considering I want to use sculpting for a majority of my future character models; this seems a worth-while side-project to do throughout the year!

I don’t know how obtainable these goals are considering I’m studying a network course right now, in addition to the job centre, CallieMacN and secondary channel videos taking up the few hours I have when I’m not studying. To say I’m a bit squeezed for time is an understatement!

I know when I talked about this secret video in September, it looked like I’m complaining just for the sake of it, but hopefully this time next year you’ll be able to see some of the hard work I’ve been putting in behind-the-scenes of Crystallised Entertainment! So with any luck this year will be a more productive year then 2022! ^^”

[moosenotadeer]

We throw in a simple tombstone this time for Day 5 of Sculptober and it's prompt of the day being Dead.

[hymuk]

Hello I loved you’re previous fanfic I’m glad you want to write again ! So I would really like uprising arc Petra standing by Levi’s side ( some slight romance and og squad is always welcomed ofc ☺️)

Uprising Arc — Canon Divergence

Rivetra Angst, Canon Divergence -- 1,233 words

A/N - Thank you so much! Here it is--it's a bit heavier than what you originally requested + Petra-centric but hope you enjoy! @himebee-5

Petra tried to pretend she was asleep every time Levi slipped into bed, well past midnight, the scent of bleach and soap fresh, clinging to his skin. She paid attention to the way the weight of the bed sunk in beside her, settling in once she felt him slide his arm around her stomach, careful to avoid touching her broken—now healing—wrist.

Petra’s days were filled with grief. She haunted the halls of the headquarters, the skin under her eyes perpetually stained with dark splotches, her lips set in a thin line. None of the new members of Levi’s squad daring to say a word to her, save Eren, who would give her the kindest and softest of smiles. His eyes mirrored her own, the grief undisguisable despite the smile that played on his lips, and she would find herself unable to smile back or to do more than simply meet his gaze. She was a cruel reminder of that day.

After she was able to walk again, Petra would roam the halls on her own schedule. Nobody provided her with a schedule. She was to report to Hanji until her training was done, then be reassigned to another commanding officer. When her training was done, they seemingly forgot about her, and she spent her days roaming the halls instead, occasionally running tasks for Erwin when he thought she looked less gaunt than usual.

The newest members of their regiment had taken the now vacated spots on Levi’s elite team. There was no longer any excuse to see him anymore, now that she wasn’t under his command, but he would always find her throughout the day. When she was huddled between a crate and a sack of rice in a storage closet, trying to will herself to take a nap. When she would sit alone by the bath in her towel, unable to find the will in herself to get up and settle herself into the water. And the only moments when he could recognize an inkling of who she used to be, would be when she sat at the kitchen table, nursing a mug of coffee.

Petra had become a shadow of herself.

Hanji was the one who had come up with this training regimen, one that would supposedly get Petra back up walking, even after her tragic and overwhelming injury that left her bent up the side of a tree. Petra followed what Hanji told her to do every day, her eyes blank, the light that usually graced them dulled out by the weight of death, after death, after death.

Petra was the model patient. She sat in her bed when she was told to rest. She drank the clear broth and ate the stale bread they fed her without complaint, finishing her meal in minutes—whoever delivered it to her able to be in and out of her room in five minutes with her dishes clean. When Hanji came to collect her, bright and cheerful, to take her to her therapy sessions, she allowed Moblit to lift her from her bed, and deposit her into the simple wheelchair, the seat now sculpted to the weight of her body. She followed each and every instruction, as any soldier worth their salt would, and she didn’t question the orders of those who were above her. She didn’t ask any questions. There were none worth asking. It went without being said that Petra would never fight again.

Erwin, as things came to take a turn for the worse, didn’t do her the disservice of discharging her. He was far more aware of the dangers of an idle mind than most others. So, he let Petra haunt the halls of their headquarters. Once Hanji said she was good to be up on her feet for more than an hour a day, he allowed her to take a spot in the corner of his office, sorting and filling out the stack of reports that reminded them every day of that day in the forest. He kept his eyes down when every day, at the same time in the afternoon, Levi would enter with a soft knock on the door, setting a cup of tea down at her work station, leaving after because he knew he wouldn’t get a response from Petra. And he ignored him when he would pass Levi in the hallway, making his way to Petra’s room, to join her in bed for the night.

Petra came to him first. She came to his office, in the middle of the night, and for a brief moment when Levi heard the knock at his door, he thought maybe the same redhead who would regularly grace him in his office had returned to keep him company late at night again. She entered, holding her blanket wrapped around her, her eyes darkened with exhaustion. Levi wasn’t to expect the late night mutters and chatter to tea anymore. He let her sit in an armchair, curled up, looking smaller than he’d ever seen her before. She couldn’t fall asleep, even as she listened to the rhythmic turn of the page and scrawl of pen on paper. Watching her, alert but weary in his armchair, he stood up, and decided he was done working for the night.

Without speaking, Petra followed him out of his office, entering his room and settling onto his bed, waiting for him to join her. They’d done this once before, but what started out as something new and exciting became a comforting routine they’d practice every night.

She laid in the bed they now shared, trying to steady her breathing to seem rhythmic enough to fool him into thinking she was already asleep, but she felt tense. She laid there, silently, wondering if he would say anything, or if they would lay there in quiet companionship like usual, and pretend the other was asleep.

She was surprised when he whispered her name–for a second, she almost thought she’d imagined it.

“Petra,” he whispered again, this time, his breath brushing lightly against her neck.

She swallowed hard, her mouth dry, but found it in herself to respond and say his name back. It was the first thing she’d said these past couple of days.

“Levi,” she whispered back.

They continued to lay there, quietly, but she felt him move his arms, turning her towards him so that they were facing each other. She was surprised how clearly she could see his face in the dark, light trickling in through the window. They studied each other. She traced the tired lines that ran across his face with her eyes, noting how much darker the circles under his eyes were than she’d ever seen. His eyes looked almost… desperate–sad, regretful. She didn’t know what he was thinking, and wasn’t sure if he wanted to share. She’d never asked why she could no longer find him in his office late at night. Or why there were days where he’d crawl into bed at sunrise wearing a set of clothes he hadn’t been wearing earlier that day. She lifted her hand to hold his cheek, searching for something–anything that would tell her why he looked so broken. But instead of asking, she pulled him closer, and kissed him softly on the lips, feeling relief when he accepted the first kiss she’d given him since the expedition.

[leafenclaw]

Hey! So uh, I don’t know how many of you have been having mysterious headaches recently, but I’ve had quite a number of housebound friends complaining of this in the past few days?

And if this is happening to you, before panicking about your health, I’d strongly recommend to:

1 - Pay attention to the amount of noise in your place. Electric appliances, fridges, computers, and clocks especially, make much more noise than most realise. What seems like a silent rumble or light ticking that you can easily tune out at first can (and most likely will) become an absolutely awful source of background irritation for your ears and brain.

Try to spend as much time as possible in quiet rooms with few appliances and electronics.

Unplug all electric appliances you aren’t immediately using and can safely unplug.

Temporarily relocate that noisy clock to another room.

Use noise-cancelling headphones if you have them, otherwise earbuds with some soothing music can help as well.

If the increase in noise comes from housebound neighbours, try to come to a solution peacefully (and, for the same reason, be considerate to your neighbours about the amount of noise you make). You’re all in this together.

2 - Make sure you aren’t surrounded by strong smells. What seems like soothing aromatherapy can quickly become a nightmare for your senses when it’s right in front of you all day. Baking smells, flowering plants, and on the unpleasant side litter boxes and trash cans can end up being an irritation you may not immediately realise the extent of.

Get rid of the pot-pourri. Put the incense and essential oils away. Avoid wearing perfume when you're not going out. Relocate the flowering plants to another room.

Space out the cooking and baking sessions to avoid saturating your place (and potentially your neighbours’ places) with clashing smells.

Clean your animal’s litter box every day without fail. Switch to unscented litter if you haven’t already. Take out the trash regularly.

Open the windows. Make sure your place gets some fresh air every day.

If it’s really too cold or too hot to open a window, use a fan for at least 20-30 minutes inside to make sure the air moves around a bit.

If the smell comes from outside your place, close the windows and again, use a fan. Don’t make the mistake of putting on incense or something to change the smell, it’ll only make it worse.

3 - Self-care, self-care, self-care. This one I’m sure you heard already, it’s a classic. But it’s always worth investigating if your headache isn’t coming from irritants in your environment.

Take breaks from social media and the news.

I can’t stress that enough. Take breaks. This pandemic can wait on you for a few hours, and so can your friends.

Make sure to have daily conversations that have nothing to do with the pandemic. Laughter is the best way to counter stress.

15 minutes of break away from phone/computer/tv/video game/etc. for every 45 minutes of screen time is a good rule of thumb. Adapt this to your schedule as needed.

Make sure you’re getting enough natural light. Spend one of those 15 minutes break in front of a window when it’s still light outside.

Make sure you’re sleeping enough. Take naps as needed.

Stay hydrated. Fresh water does wonders for the brain. Sometimes just a few sips can help tone down a headache.

Eat healthily in amount and content as much as possible.

Take regular showers. Change your clothes and bed sheets as often as needed.

Stretch regularly. Exercise if you have enough space. It may be the perfect time to try meditation.

Wear comfortable clothes. Sit in comfortable chairs. Turn yourself into a burrito with the help of fluffy, comfortable blankets.

If you’re taking meds, take your meds.

4 - Be creative! Headaches can easily be caused by stress and boredom. One of the best ways to feel good about life and yourself is to create something tangible (as in, something that will keep existing once the activity is completed).

Write! It’s Camp NaNoWriMo until the end of April. Fiction, poetry, personal accounts of how you’re dealing with the pandemic (certain to be of interest to historians in 100+ years). It’s all good.

Draw! Paint! Finger-paint on towels with food dye! Make gifs! Make memes!

Sculpt a fairy garden or your own tiny zoo with legos or modelling clay! Build tiny creatures with nanoblocks!

Knit! Crochet! Perfect time to work on that scarf or those socks you always promised yourself you’d make one day.

Record yourself singing or playing your favourite song! Record videos on any kind of subject you feel like being chatty about!

Find any other creative output suited to your means and interests. =)

5 - Ask your neurodivergent, chronically ill, socially anxious, and otherwise housebound friends and relatives for more tips. They have been dealing with sensory issues, chronic pain, and/or social isolation for much longer than you have. They have plenty of experience and coping skills to share, and if you ask with respect, they may even be happy to do so.

If anything else comes to mind, feel free to add to this list!

In the meantime, take care of yourselves and stay safe. =)

[gypsealife]

Things to do in Asheville

Things to do in Asheville

Nestled between the Blue Ridge and Great Smoky mountain ranges is the charming, relaxed and liberal community of Asheville. It is the largest city in Western North Carolina and is a popular place to visit, with many tourist attractions in the city and its picturesque surroundings.

Nicknamed the "Paris of the South" for its attractive architecture, it has a thriving arts and alternative scene, with studios and galleries scattered throughout the city. An abundance of craft breweries and street performers provide a vibrant atmosphere, and there are other things to do in Asheville with some fascinating monuments and museums. If that wasn't enough, Asheville has idyllic gardens and grounds for visitors to tour, while the magnificent mountains and verdant forests that surround it are just a short drive away.

1. Blue Ridge Parkway

Blue Ridge Parkway

Known for its breathtaking scenery and nature, the Blue Ridge Parkway stretches from Virginia to North Carolina. Known as "America's favorite road," the route winds along the spine of the Blue Ridge Mountains, with phenomenal views and panoramas to be enjoyed along the way.

In total, the scenic route runs an impressive 755 miles and connects Shenandoah National Park with the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Along the way, it passes through lush forests, with sparkling streams and fabulous waterfalls set amidst its pristine, untouched wilderness.

In addition to its many natural wonders, the scenic highway protects a number of important historic sites with charming towns and villages, as well as the Cherokee Indian Reservation, also along its route. Just outside Asheville, you'll find the Blue Ridge Parkway Visitor Center, which features lots of useful information and interactive exhibits about what is the most popular part of the U.S. National Park System.

2. North Carolina Arboretum

North Carolina Arboretum

Just south of the city is the charming North Carolina Arboretum, nestled among the Southern Appalachian Mountains. Sprawling in size, it is home to beautiful landscapes and magnificent gardens, with state-of-the-art greenhouses dotted here and there.

Wandering its picturesque trails is a pleasure, as the sprawling grounds are divided into picturesque sections. While some pretty flowerbeds mimic the patterns of the Blue Ridge Mountains, other areas sit alongside babbling brooks or are dotted with beautiful bonsai trees.

While its quiet trails, sprawling azaleas and fantastic flowerbeds are always gorgeous to explore, winter is an especially magical time to visit. That's when twinkling fairy lights hang among the towering trees, and the arboretum and botanical gardens take on an enchanted look.

3. Biltmore Estate

Biltmore Estate

At the heart of a sprawling estate is the Biltmore House, the largest privately owned home in the United States. Converted into a historic house museum, it is one of Asheville's most popular attractions, with large gardens, stunning architecture and beautiful rooms to explore.

Built between 1889 and 1895 for the incredibly wealthy George Washington Vanderbilt II, the massive mansion is inspired by the charming castles he had seen in the French Loire Valley. As such, many graceful arches and turrets can be seen along with attractive facades, magnificent sculptures and steeply pitched roofs.

The interior is just as dazzling. Decadently decorated rooms, halls and galleries stretch to infinity; in all, there are more than 250 to explore. On top of all this, there's wandering around the glorious grounds, with stables, wineries and hiking trails to be found here and there. To see the best of the Biltmore estate, it's worth a hike or an overnight stay at your hotel, inn or cottage.

4. Pisgah National Forest

Pisgah National Forest

One of the first national forests established in the eastern United States in 1916, Pisgah covers a vast portion of North Carolina, with large swaths around Asheville. Located in the southern Appalachian Mountains, it boasts some truly breathtaking scenery, with enchanting nature everywhere you look.

Hidden among its majestic mountains and endless forests are roaring rivers and sparkling waterfalls for visitors to discover, with divine views to be enjoyed from its highest realms. Amidst its wonderful forests and wilderness areas, exquisite mountain biking and hiking trails make their way, with numerous picnic areas and campsites scattered here and there.

Due to its scenic nature, the Pisgah National Forest is very popular with outdoor enthusiasts. In addition to hiking and biking, you can fish, climb and observe wildlife amidst its forests.

5. Basilica of San Lorenzo

St. Lawrence Basilica Asheville

One of the highlights of the city is the impressive Basilica of St. Lawrence, which is located in the center of the city. Built in 1905, this colossal Catholic church features magnificent Spanish Renaissance architecture and is reputed to have the largest free-standing elliptical dome in North America.

While its attractive facade and dazzling red brick are certainly a spectacular sight, entering its cavernous confines is the highlight. Here you'll find a host of sublime statues and stained glass windows, as well as fabulous altars and artwork, all beneath its imposing dome.

An important and impressive landmark, the beautiful basilica also has a couple of charming chapels to visit, as well as a lovely little garden to stroll around in the back.

6. Asheville Botanical Gardens

Asheville Botanical Gardens

Right next to the University of North Carolina at Asheville are some beautiful botanical gardens for you to explore. Popular with locals, students and tourists, they are home to picturesque landscapes, with tranquil paths weaving through the beautiful plants.

Established in 1961, the magnificent gardens cover a large area, with flower-filled meadows that sit alongside a sparkling stream and a wonderful wooded ridge. Dedicated to protecting and preserving the nature of the Southern Appalachians, it features more than 650 species of plants from the wondrous mountain range.

Strolling through the Asheville Botanical Garden is a delightful way to spend a few hours. April through August is the best time of year to visit, as there is an abundance of flowers and plants in bloom.

7. Grovewood Village

Grovewood Village

With numerous artist studios, galleries and museums, Grovewood Village is located right next to the famous Omni Grove Park Inn. Once home to Biltmore Industries, the complex now protects and promotes Asheville's history and artistic heritage, with plenty to see, do and shop for visitors.

In addition to taking tours of the former industrial complex to learn about Biltmore's past as a weaver and woodworker, visitors can stop by its magnificent museum, which features fascinating exhibits on crafts, textiles and looms. Also located here is the Estes-Winn Antique Car Museum, which showcases some brilliant models of classic cars.

After learning all about the history, you can visit some attractive art and craft studios where you can see how jewelry, pottery and sculptures are made, as well as buy some souvenirs. Grovewood Village also has two galleries displaying the works and crafts of local artists.

8. Lexington Glassworks

Lexington Glassworks

Along one of Asheville's trendiest streets is Lexington Glassworks, where you can watch innovative works of art take shape before your eyes. Since opening downtown in 2015, the gallery has wowed visitors with its unique creations and hand-blown glass works.

Mixing traditional and timeless techniques with bold designs and imaginative shapes, the studio's artists skillfully sculpt molten glass, bringing their colorful creations to life. Watching them is truly a pleasure: they carefully hand-blow glass ornaments and chandeliers in front of you.

Because Lexington Glassworks offers visitors a unique combination of "art, community and beer," visitors can also enjoy a local Asheville brew while watching the glassblowers at work. With monthly musical events and concerts, the studio is much more than just a place to pick up some unique souvenirs.

9. Thomas Wolfe Memorial

Thomas Wolfe Memorial

The magnificent Thomas Wolfe Memorial is located in the center of downtown Asheville and is well worth a visit if you have the opportunity. The famed 20th century author spent much of his boyhood in this old home, which he even utilized as the scene for his novel Look Homeward, Angel.

The novel is mostly autobiographical and depicts his life in his mother's boarding house. Despite the fact that his writings gained him recognition and praise, the villagers were so outraged by them that he did not return to town for eight years, and the novel was even banned from the local library.

The writer's boyhood home is now a museum and monument, with many original antiques on display. There are also educational plaques and exhibitions concerning Thomas Wolfe's life, writings, and the house itself.

10. River Arts District.

River Arts District is a cultural district on the banks of the

The River Arts District in Asheville spans along the banks of the magnificent French Broad River. Its formerly derelict and rotting warehouses now accommodate over 200 artists in a diverse range of studios, galleries, and workshops.

It's a highly creative and eclectic space with an astonishing variety of artwork on exhibit, including pottery, photography, glassware, artwork, and furniture. Visitors can take classes from the painters in their workshops in addition to viewing their colorful and chaotic studios.

The River Arts District has transformed dramatically since artists began moving into abandoned buildings in the 1970s; B&Bs, hotels, and even huge hotels have sprung alongside cafes, restaurants, and breweries.

11. Craggy Gardens

Craggy Gardens is a place where you can go to relax and

The lovely Craggy Gardens, tucked in the Great Craggy Mountains, are located to the northeast of the city. They are noted for their amazing floral displays, with June being the most magical season to come. They are named for the craggy rocky outcroppings that dot their gorgeous bounds.

The exquisite gardens, which are made up of three equally spectacular areas and are located more than 1,600 meters above sea level, are mountainous and made up of three equally impressive sections. There are intriguing routes to wander along with amazing views of the Appalachians in its lovely meadows, flower-filled hillsides, and exposed rocky surfaces.

Although many people come to see the pink and purple rhododendrons in June, Craggy's gardens are always vibrant, with plants and flowers flowering all year.

12. Asheville's downtown area

Asheville's downtown area

Downtown Asheville is a bustling yet laid-back atmosphere with enough to see and do, and it's a joy to explore with something for everyone. For its magnificent variety of Art Deco structures, it's been dubbed the "Paris of the South," and it also offers a thriving artistic, cultural, and music scene for visitors to explore.

While walking the Asheville Urban Trail is a great opportunity to see the city's beautiful artwork and architecture-filled streets, there are also interesting historical landmarks and museums in the downtown area. Downtown also has excellent art galleries and craft breweries, as well as a dynamic ambiance thanks to its many street entertainers.

In addition, the city's large artist population has resulted in a plethora of interesting boutiques and beautiful studios to visit. Downtown Asheville is unquestionably one of the most lively and celebratory areas in North Carolina, with a plethora of clubs and music venues.

[simpmeon]

Lilith Head Cannons

Just some random headcannons I have about Lilith and her personality and interactions with the other characters. Might do a part two if I can come up with more. Sorry if they're all scrambled I literally was like "thought. Thumbs. Post." Djdjjdjd enjoy. Also!!! If you want to add more to the post feel free and remember that this is not cannon, just my opinion on her character, or really her absence of one.

General Head Cannons

I like to think she also was an artist, especially sculpting and painting. She loved the statues of the ancient Greek Gods and would often try to mimic them to look like her father or her brothers. She was also there for the renaissance and fell in love with the style of the time and would paint beautiful portraits of her family that would hang on the walls. In her room dedicated to her in Devildom, there are paintings of flowers that I would like to believe that she painted.

A master storyteller. She would tell all the brothers stories that she would make up on spot before bed. It started as a cute toddler thing, her babbling nonsense for hours before they all went to sleep, but it soon became a thing that neither of the brothers could fall asleep properly without having a story told to them. Soon the useless babbling told into brave and riveting tales that would take hours to tell, and by then Belphie was guaranteed to be the first to fall asleep.

After the fall, all of the brothers could not go to sleep, not because of persisting nightmares, but because their little sister was not there to tell them a story

She's a great fighter. At first she learned basics in case her overprotective big brothers werent there to protect her, but soon she was on par with some of the top fighters in all of the Celestial Realm. She even managed to knock Lucifer down in mid air combat, despite being the strongest physically. This came in handy when her brothers would get into fights and she would often play middle man and have to physically pull them apart and toss them across the room.

She was the fastest out of all of them. Mammon is canonically the fastest out of the current demon bros, but when him and Lilith played tag, you could barely see anything besides the blur of wings. She has outran him several times and often managed to duck out of lectures from her oldest brother simply by just taking off.

She loved to bake and cook for her brothers a lot and often taught some of the newer apprentices the archangels favorite recipies so that they can prepare it for them. She loved teaching them because she would often fill the waiting time with embarrassing stories about her brothers and the archangels. ("No Luci I dont know where they learned that your drool in your sleep...")

Fiery personality, which was often her savior and her doom. She took no nonsense from anyone, rather they be a random demon, an archangel, her own brothers, or even her father. If she didn't like something that was said or a decision that was being made she would not hesitate to speak her mind no matter what the consequences were.

Insanely smart because of all the times she would spend in the Celestial Realms many libraries. No one would peg her to be the studious one out of the bunch, but she just found all the information fascinating. However, just because she is book smart she lacks common sense and street smarts which proves itself when she placed her hand in fire because "she wanted to see what it felt like". Many people think the scars on her body are from battles, but in reality its because she decided she wanted to be her own personal test subject, no matter how dangerous they would be. ("Hey Luci do you think I could bite through selenite?" "Lilith nO-" )

Asks "Can this kill a human?" a lot and to newer angel's it sounds like shes plotting to take a humans life, but to those used to her antics they would just sigh and respond with a "Yes Lilith" or "No Lilith that can not kill a human."

Snorts when she laughs. Theres no other explanation I just feel that she does. Full belly laughs in private, sweet delicate laugh in public to play up her delicate fragile flower persona that she hated so much.

Just like how I feel like she scrunches her nose up when she gets angry and how she will literally get right up in Lucifers face whenever he pisses her off, no matter what protests she hears from her brothers.

Lucifer 

I like to believe that, like Lucifer, she was attracted to the piano. Lucifer would often be playing melodies in the sun room in the Celestial Realm and Lilith would always be the one to find him first. He taught her how to play and even if she just banged on the keys, Lucifer still found her endearing. As she grew older though, the two of them became the best piano players in all of the realm. Didn’t help that she was also regarded as one of the best singers in the entire realm too.

Loved helping Lucifer and Belphie in organizing and categorizing notes from their father that day. She would often make it a game where they would pick their favorite event from that day both as a way to see if they were actually reading the documents being given to them, and as a way to discuss her and Belphies favorite subject with their big brother.

Her and Lucifer were often regarded as the Jewel and Flower of the Celestial Realm. They were both undeniably gorgeous, not that her brothers werent all gorgeous, but her and Lucifer were often pegged as the most beautiful out of all the siblings.

Both put under undeniable amounts of stress and would often seek to reconcile each other because of it. Lucifer was an archangel and their fathers right hand man, and with Lilith being the only daughter fromt heir father and because of that also having a reputation to uphold as being a mediator, the two of them would often find one another in the arms of each other after a particularly bad day, whether that be Lilith just hugging Lucifer and stroking his hair or Lucifer just having Lilith lay on him as she took a nap.

However their titles came with double edged swords. He often was found reprimanding her for possibly tarnishing her reputation because she would often get caught up in her brothers tricks and pranks. They would often butt heads, but as much as he hated to admit it sometimes, most of the time she was right. She was the only one who could wrangle apologies out of him.

Lucifer often treated Lucifer like she was fragile and that really pissed her off. Whenever she would come back with new scratches and bruises he would often reprimand her for tarnishing her beauty and would have to convince their father to not punish her because of it. She hates being treated like that but knows better than to tell Lucifer that he was being overbearing.

Mammon

Mammon was 100% the brother who didnt want a little sister until he got one.

Super cuddly with Mammon. In her early years Mammon was often the one who who she would just snuggle up into and fall asleep on, besides when she went to bed at night with Beel and Belphie. He would just be chilling on a couch after a days worth of work and suddenly would have a tiny baby foot stepping on his cheeks trying to get comfortable on his chest. Soon that's just how they would fall asleep together. Although Mammon would always deny that she wasnt cute whenever his brothers would catch them napping together and how he protectively held her.

Mammon was also the brother to try to use Lilith’s cuteness to woo people and definitely had her in those chest baby carriers whenever he went out of the house.

Lilith was really the only one would dote on him and treat him like a role model and he lived for every second of it. "The Great Mammon" nickname actually came from Lilith whenever she and Mammon would be playing with some dolls whenever she was younger and she called him that after her other brothers refused to play with her.

Mammon and her were the mischief causing duo. Lucifer quickly learned not to leave those two alone after her came home one day and found the two of them covered in flour and melted chocolate after they attempted to make cookies together. The mess was not what concerned Lucifer the most, but rather the fact that the oven looked like it caught on fire in the process. 

Her favorite person to play with because he was rough with her and almost as quick as she was, so games like tag and duck duck goose always melted into a high speed chase between the both of them. They were also highly competitive with each other and would often try to one up each other.

Can’t beat the one time Mammon managed to swipe the spell to make animals and decided to make one of toddler Lilith’s funny looking animal drawings an actual animal for her. Both Lucifer and God did not appreciate the sudden swarms of what Lilith dubbed “Platypus” running around the Earth, but God is a weak man and when he tried to chastise Mammon, she started crying about how he was a good older brother for making her drawing come to life and God let them stay.

He was probably the one she was closest to besides Beel and Belphie. Even though she would go to Lucifer for more deeper philosophical conversations, it was rare to see her not in Mammons room after a stressful day. He and Asmo were the dedicated ranting brothers because both of them would hype her up. Mammon was still her favorite person to snuggle up to and nap on. She would never admit that to Belphie but it was true. Mammon was just always so warm and comforting that she would go out of her way to snuggle up and watch movies with him.

Of course she was also the kind of sister who would throw popcorn at him from across the room, steal his clothes while he was showering, and blame petty things like stealing cookies on him. Their fights were never more than senseless bickering that would often lead to them calling each other names, but god forbid if any other angel agreed with the insults. The chances of having a fist connect with their face just increased, especially if it's one of their other brothers.

Levi

Levi probably was the one with the weakest bond with her out of all his brothers. He felt jealous how she would usually seek out the others before she came to him, but on the days where she would seek him out they would waste the entire day together. Levi’s tendency to love games started when he and Lilith would pass time playing chess and checkers. They would constantly challenge each other and every game had new tricks. 

Levi always had an obsessive personality and Lilith was always the one to stand up for him and even got him things to help with it, for example he was really into sea creatures at the time and so Lilith made him a clay sculpture of a whale and the boy nearly lost his mind. She never made fun of him. 

Most people who knew him as the crazy otaku would never peg him to be the chess mastermind but he could beat Lucifer ten times over from across the House of Lamentation with his eyes closed because of her. 

Her and Levi also were master strategists. She and Levi's pranks were so elaborate and so well thought out that Lucifer himself would be caught off guard. Sometimes it would be something as simply as moving everything in Lucifers room an inch to the right so he could stub his toe on his furniture and other times it would be slowly replacing people in the intricate paintings on the ceilings in the Celestial Realms cathedrals with poorly paintings of rubber ducks. Simeon when he came to Devildom still talks about how hes still finding some to this day.

Loves making Levi laugh. She would play whatever games with him to make him laugh. He would actually be the one to bathe baby Lilith because he would constantly make shapes and creatures in the water to entertain her. He treasures those moments in the giant bathtub just making horses and other animals out of water.

As she got older, it went from the bathtub to fountains. Lilith could be found tending the garden and suddenly would feel something wet by her hand and realize that an animal made of water just brushed against her and it always made her smile because it meant that Levi was near.

Because he was in charge of the Earths oceans, he was rarely home. When his father said that they have to keep an eye out on all creatures he didn't realize he meant ALL creatures. On particularly bad days where he was missing his family, he would always contact Lilith. Lilith always had time for Levi and even if she didnt she would make the time. He would tell her all about the marine life and how the water felt and Lilith always made sure to keep track of his discoveries in her various notebooks. Because their time together was often limited, Levi couldnt help but feel a tinge of bitterness towards his brothers.

Satan

Even though Satan never physically met Lilith, she was quite troublesome for him. Whenever Lucifer was about to go on a rampage, Lilith was always the one to calm Lucifer down. Even if the rage was directed at her, she always managed to calm Lucifer down and have him think rationally.

Satan knows the most about humans only because of the distant memories of Lilith talking Lucifers ear off about humans.

Even though he never physically learned to play the piano, he knows how to play both Lucifers and Liliths melodies by heart from hearing them both so much. Whenever Satan is restless he'll often play Liliths melodies on the piano to calm him down.

The only thoughtful gift he ever gave his brothers was a book of all the stories he could remember Lilith telling them. He claims it's because he wanted Lucifer to feel irreconcilable sadness when reading them, but its truly because whenever he was having a flare up of wrath he would go out of his way to find the book and read the stories to calm down.

Even after her death and after he sprang to creation, Lilith was still one of the only people to calm him down.

Asmo

She loved to play princess with Asmo. She would be a little bossy towards him, but he just adored the fact that he was the one who would braid her hair and blush her cheeks.

He always made sure to be front row for her “fashion” shows and as she got older and more interested in art, he was always the first to volunteer for her to practice anatomy.

He would always take the time out of his day to paint her nails all sorts of pretty colors, her favorite shade being lavender. He was in charge of keeping the Celestial Realm beautiful, and he couldnt let one of his fathers treasures be nothing short of beautiful at all times. Lilith didnt mind because it just meant that her and Asmo could vent together.

Asmo and Lilith have a garden in the Celestial Realm. Technically, they're in charge of all the gardens, but the two of them have a very specific garden dedicated just to the two of them. Their father has very strict rules about what flowers grew where in the realm, but Lilith and Asmo's garden had pink and yellow roses, amaryllis's, tulips, blue bonnets, fox gloves, hibiscus's you named them they had them all in their garden. There were several statues made by Lilith and Asmo even risked getting his fingernails dirty in order to install a beautiful stone archway with a bench. It was like their own oasis just for them. They would have afternoon tea in their garden, gossip about the archangels, even talk about how cute some of the angels are turning out as they grew up.

Like Levi, he also rarely got chances to spend time with Lilith, and if they did have time together it was only for about an hour before one of the angels would just whisk her away to finish a task, but sometimes late at night he would find her in the garden reading a book or tending to the plants.

Would design most of her Celestial Realm outfits or put together her outfits for the day. Paint her nails and do her makeup the whole nine yards, seeing as she and her brother were the face of the Celestial Realm.

Beel & Belphie

They were probably the ones who saw Lilith the most. Not "The Delicate Flower of The Celestial Realm" Lilith, but Lilith herself, with her arms freshly covered in open wounds from combat training, dried paint streaked across her forehead, hair sticking to her forehead with sweat, and hands shaking and covered in blisters and bandages from her gripping her sword too tight.

They'd be the first of the brothers to know about her training, mainly because they caught her trying to tend to a wound on her shoulder blade and they would help her tend to the wound, mentally cursing Simeon for getting too close to her wings.

She was the most comfortable around those two. She would dress casually around them and would often indulge in her more unladylike tendencies because she knew they wouldnt judge her. In fact, Beel was often the one to lug her completed sculptures around the Celestial Realm and Belphie was always in her studio to watch her paint and sculpt.

Her and Belphie would often spend countless hours under the stars of the Celestial Realm just watching and observing the humans below. Her and Belphie would even disguise themselves to get more up close and personal with them.

Loved lazy afternoons where they would all fall asleep on top of each other with the warmth of the sun on their faces. Especially loved the post nap snacks and baked goods afterwards.

Favorite sparring partner was Beel because he knew he could give her his all and shed be able to strike him down. In fact how the rest of her brothers found out about Lilith being a skilled fighter is when they all rushed into the battle chambers and saw Lilith soar over Beel and then full force swing her leg around onto Beels stomach, sending him plummeting to the ground with a loud crash, followed by Lilith hovering in midair, blood trickling from her lips and her arms covered in fresh bruises. That was the first time she ever landed a hit on Beel and her brothers were there to realize that the Flower of The Celestial Realm was a double edged sword. Soon she was having routine sparring matches with her brothers, Simeon being her coach on how to take them down.

Her, Belphie, and Beel all shared a bedroom. Lilith had her own bedroom with her own bathroom, but spent more of her time with Beel and Belphie because that's where she felt the most comfortable. Belphie especially specialized in making sure she didnt have nightmares that night.

[babbushka]

hey z 👀 i recently have the huge urge to start drawing but i'm so bad at it :( i always doodle in all my classes but they are literally so bad until today where i realized that artists are freaking cool and i wanna learn how to draw properly. i searched on youtube but... then i remembered your beautiful work and that stream you did once and i wondered if you had any tips ? perhaps a book or a video ? to get started on how to draw... 😶

Hello my darling anon! I am so happy that you’ve decided to pursue making art, and I’m honored you came to me! As someone with a fine arts degree, I can absolutely give you some resources that might be worth checking out, but please know this one thing: art is entirely subjective. What one person thinks looks good, another may absolutely hate. As long as you’re happy, and enjoying the process, try not to fixate too much on the outcome. And always remember that representational art is not the only kind of art that is valid or worth celebrating! 

That being said, here are some things that I’ve learned are really beneficial to keep in mind, from my many years of drawing, painting, and sculpting:

(under a cut because it’s long lol)

RESEARCH! This is one of those things that I know may seem kind of counter-intuitive, but I fully believe that by surrounding yourself with art, you’ll be more inspired and informed and motivated to make your own. Browse through online galleries, learn about the different art movements and find ones you like, follow contemporary artists and really dive into the work that’s all around you! Notice the things you like most about the art you’re drawn to. Is it the style? The use of color? The textures or lack thereof? Is it the composition? What about the rendering? Are you drawn to more photo realistic work, or work that has a looser interpretation? You don’t know what you like until you start looking at asking yourself these questions! 

Use reference!! I know there is a taboo in the online art criticism community for using references, but honestly? References are incredibly helpful. Every great artist you can think of used a reference, whether that’s a live model in front of them, a collection of sketches done beforehand, or a collection of photographs taken and collaged together. Use reference with wild abandon! If you want to draw a bird, you will not be able to do so without looking at a picture of a bird. If you want to draw a person, you have to know what they look like, so go do some research and get to sketching!! 

Make studies. This kind of goes hand in hand with the reference. Find something that you like (an object, a person, a landscape) and try to replicate it. Notice the things that you manage to recreate successfully*, and the things that you might need to work more at. Then do it again, paying attention to the improvements. Rinse and repeat. 

Time restrict yourself. Often we get so hung up on the idea that everything we makes has to be a masterpiece, and everything has to be fully rendered. I believe that this stunts our ability to develop skills because if we’re hung up on perfection, we’ll never get to explore. So, challenge yourself to quick gestural drawings. 3 minutes. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. Capture the essence of the idea without worrying about the details. See how many things you can get down on the page in that time frame -- it doesn’t have to be good, it just has to Be. 

Now, onto books! These aren’t so much step-by-step guides (because really the only way to improve is to practice** but more on that later) but rather are aimed to help you open your eye to the idea of drawing. 

Drawing People:

Drawing for the Absolute and Utter Beginner by Claire Watson Garcia

Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards

Complete guide to drawing from life by George Bridgman

Anatomy for The Artist by Sarah Simblet

Drawing everything else:

Keys to Drawing by Bert Dodson

Landscape Painting: Essential Concepts and Techniques for Plein Air and Studio Practice by Mitchell Albala 

Perspective Made Easy by Ernest R. Norling

Learning about the different art movements and their key players:

Art Through the Ages by Helen Gardner

The Story Of Art by H. Gombrich

Ways Of Seeing by John Berger

Isms: Understanding Art by Stephen Little

As for videos, I can’t say that I have too many suggestions other than searching for things like speedpaints or timelapses. I think it’s really informative to watch how other people approach drawing on their own projects, and I always tend to learn something about process when I can just sit and observe the way they go about their piece. 

Clarifications:

* = When I say “successfully” I don’t necessarily mean photo-realism. I mean, when you are drawing, and when you’re finding your style, you should be conscious of how your work is reflecting that. Are you more abstract? Are you more impressionist? Are you more concerned with color and form rather than detail, or does detail mean the most to you? These are the things you have to keep in mind when determining if the work is “successful” or not. Is the piece evoking the feeling that you want it to have, is it going in the direction that you wanted it to, is it representative of your plans for the piece, etc. Successful =/= hyper-realism, unless of course, you are aiming for hyper-realism. 

** = Practice is, undoubtedly, inarguably, the most important thing to get better at any skill, but especially art. And do not be mistaken, art is a skill, just like anything else. People aren’t just born magical artistic geniuses, it is the result of hundreds of hours of practice, learning muscle memory, learning color theory and relationships, learning composition. Artists work hard to produce the content that we do, and that hard work should be celebrated! You’re going to work hard too, so embrace it :)

TLDR; Your art is unique to you. No matter what anyone says online or in books, you have to create the things that make you feel something. Don’t be afraid to experiment with styles or aesthetics that are outside of your comfort zone, and don’t feel like you have to stick to the rules that the art world has put in place. Practice practice practice, work hard, don’t give up, and have fun :)