#absolute madlad

[maxcuntstappen]

for @epylonia, love you ella

Ollie Bearman, points scorer, driver of the day, youngest driver in the history of Scuderia Ferrari - all with one day of running in the car

stephen hawking / @/ferrarifanatics on twitter, / diggy, great expectations / imagine dragons, believer / the script, hall of fame ft. will.i.am. / aaron cole, making history / diggy, great expectations / billy strings, this old world / abergaz, samopouzdanje / making history, aaron cole / lewis hamilton, sky sports / diggy, great expectations

[my-name-is-apollo]

OKAY so I read "The Caesars" by emperor Julian and y'all, if you love Lucian's satires this is absolutely for you.

Here are some of my favorite parts from it:

A quick summary: Romulus (who has now attained the status of a god, like Heracles) once hosted a Saturnalia and invited the Greek gods and the Roman emperors to the banquet. A contest between the Roman emperors ensued, with Alexander the Great called in as an extra contestant upon Heracles' request.

Silenus is the star of the show, doing most of the jesting. But I really like the way his bond with Dionysus is highlighted

And it's no joke, he really does roast these emperors till they're sizzling lol starting with Julius Caesar himself:

Next comes Augustus Octavius, whose entry is so pretentious and pompous that it becomes repulsive

Apollo gets a bit defensive over his "nursling" (a nod to the belief that Octavius was actually Apollo's son) and goes *insert Barbie meme "it's really not that bad! it just needs a little... shaping. To the salon!!"* ft Zenon the Philosopher who casts some spells of philosophy to make Octavius less obnoxious

And it works because Octavius is mostly humble and well mannered for the rest of the day lol

Heracles grabs this opportunity to fanboy over Alexander the great.

Like, "my beloved Alexander"?? It's cute when the gods gush over their mortal descendants.

Now, a shoutout to the emperors who didn't even get a chance to sit in the assembly because they were the worst of the lot apparently. We have:

Caligula, so terrible that the gods didn't wanna even look at him and he straight away was sent to Tartarus

Nero, who tried to be an Apollo wannabe and promptly got taken to the underworld

Commodus, whom Silenus didn't even bother to roast (and he tripped and fell anyway, what a loser)

There are more but these were the funniest

Anyway, the gods decide on how to choose the best amongst the Emperors. Apollo and Hermes have differing opinions on this, but Zeus decides to entertain the suggestions of both of his sons :3 (finally, one instance where he treats Apollo and Hermes equally)

All the emperors talk about their achievements first, then Hermes cross examines them to see if their motives were worthy enough and oh boy, it does not go well for Alexander who is brought to the verge of tears by Dionysus lmaooo

Anyway, in the end the gods vote and Emperor Marcus Aurelius wins the contest. But after that, Zeus asks each emperor to choose a god to spend the rest of their evening with

Ares and Aphrodite kind of just adopt Caesar LOL and yes, Cronus is present, sitting beside Zeus, with Rhea and Hera also sitting with them. He is the one who nominates Marcus Aurelius.

but here's the most crack part of this whole thing:

Like who invited Jesus bro skdjsndn 😭

Anyway, the story ends with Hermes giving some generic advice to the author, Emperor Julian and ending the story. Also, Julian lets us know that this whole story was told to him by none other than Hermes himself, and gives a disclaimer that he doesn't know if it's is true or just a lie fabricated by Hermes, or a mixture of both LMAO

Here's the link PLEASE READ THE ENTIRE THING

[iambecomeahamburger]

Kelsier: *dies*

Kelsier: 

[pwecie]

Miami city commissioner Ken Russel donating guns to Ukraine that were donated by the people on the streets of Miami and theN FUCKING GOING TO GODDAMN UKRAINE TO HAND OFF THE FIRST SHIPMENT OF THEM IN-PERSON IS THE BIGGEST BIG DICK MOVE IN THE HISTORY OF MODERN AMERICAN POLITICS. FUCK DESANTIS, PUT THIS GUY IN CHARGE.

[hooliganarachnid]

I’m on the ground throwing up crying sobbing. Crowley hung the stars. He hung the stars beside his angel. He wanted to show someone else his creation, to share the wonder and knowledge. Aziraphale fell for Crowley right then and there, and his angel tried to stop him from asking questions—from falling out of Her good graces. Seeing Crowley so happy, so full of live and joy and wide eyed full of innocent childlike wonder BROKE ME. He was the same Crowley, his mannerisms and mindset and his immediate question of WHY. He took one look at Zira and decided to shield him under his wing as a meteor shower happens. Only for Aziraphale to return the favour. Does Crowley remember this first meeting? Did he recognize his angel right away when he slithered up to cause trouble? He must have. He knew his name. All he did was ask questions. He didn’t mean to fall.

Neither did Aziraphale.

But then they met again on the other side, with Crowley, then Crawley, seeing a familiar face. The kind angel who had watched him forge the universe (who saw its creation alongside him, who always loved the humans before he ever got a chance to meet them). He tries a joke, something simple, and a few moments later, the angel confesses to giving his sword away. Crawley, fallen angel, finally sees Aziraphale.

And he falls in love, just, perhaps, a little bit to late.

He wasn’t fast enough.

Good Omens isn’t the tale of a demon falling in love with an angel first in the garden of eden, and an angel finally realizing the true extent of his feelings some five thousand years later in a bombed out church. It’s about two beings who have loved each other since the beginning, and for one, perhaps, a little while before.

[quirky-gardener]

Какой-то гениальный человек написал фик про то, как Се Лянь оказывается на острове Хе Сюаня и тот ПРИНИМАЕТ ЕГО ЗА ГОРУ ТУНЛУ. Из-за того, что кто-то полностью отбитый, ИЗРЕЗАЛ ВЕСЬ КИЛН ЕГО ИЗОБРАЖЕНИЯМИ

Аахахахахаххахахахах

[deweydecimalchickens]

A retired footballer and crisp-advertiser is somehow our sole defender of human rights under international law and might end the Tory stranglehold on the BBC. The football-talkers are having a wildcat strike in his defence. What a time to be alive.

[merelyafacade]

Shout out to that one time they "crucified" Chris for Immaculate Misconception

Link to the vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vov0yT7qnVI

[valsnonsense]

Prince Viper

“WHAT’S UP PARTY TROOOOLLS!!! ARE YOU READY TO DANCE TILL YOU DROP!?”

Parents: Prince Riff and Councilman Synth

Siblings: Hatchet (Older Brother), Lantern (Younger Sibling)

Age: 19

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Bisexual

Genre: Techno, EDM

Voice Claim: Jacob Taio Cruz

The second son of Prince Riff and Councilman Synth, and one of the most wild party animals ever seen. Loud, excitable, with boundless amounts of energy, Viper is always out partying, dancing the night away and performing for the masses.

Viper works as a DJ, hosting raves all over Trollstopia and beyond. King Trollex was a big inspiration for him, and always dreamed of being able to host parties like he does. When he gifted his first mixboard at ten, Viper set out to become the best DJ the world had ever seen, and he’s quite successful in that regard. The Techno Trolls even refer to him as the “Phantom Prince of Techno”, since he’s so good at it.

When he isn’t partying, practicing, or planning his next rave, Viper can be found resting at home. He doesn’t chill out often since he’s such a social butterfly, but when he does, he’ll help around the house or hang out with his parents. He occasionally will go out swimming in Techno Lagoon, just for swimming’s sake.

Viper is a Techno troll through and through, with a splash of EDM in there for fun. He loves how loud it is, how scattered it is, and how he can mix it up to make it sound however he wants it to. Ever since he saw Synth perform at a rave in Techno Lagoon, and later on King Trollex in Techno Reef, Viper fell in love with the sound.

Despite how social he is, Viper is very close with his family. He won’t ever admit it, but he cried a lot when Hatchet moved out. He’s very close with his sibling, Lantern, and the two can be found brainstorming new songs together on his off days.

Viper currently resides in Trollstopia, but can be found frequently in Techno Reef.

Fun Facts!

- Viper is super close with Finley, son of King Trollex and John Dory. With Trollex and Synth being good friends, the two grew up knowing each other well. Viper has attempted to help Finley understand Techno music, but to no avail. He does his best to support the young troll, hating to see how lost he is music wise. He’ll sometimes play slower, softer songs to make him feel better

- Viper has a unique ability compared to his siblings, as he’s actually bioluminescent. When deep underwater, several patterns on his skin will begin to glow brightly. He even has this weird ability to make his skin a bit translucent, showing off his internal organs. He doesn’t do this often though, since it takes a lot of energy

- Opposite to Hatchet, Viper hates heat, the sun, sand, all the desert stuff. His body was built more Techno, making him more adapt to watery, cooler environments. Whenever he visits Hatchet in Lonesome Flats, he’s always got a huge water bottle on him that he dumps over himself every hour or so

And that’s Viper! Wanted to make an absolute party animal, and Viper was the candidate! He actually has an important role story-wise, especially regarding Finley, my Trollx/JD baby, but it’ll be revealed later on~

Voice Example: Dynamite (Taio Cruz)

[zhansww]

[azurecoffin]

my...son..

also please play the tempus fan game me and my friends made for holojam 2 it may or may not be inspired by a certain club penguin game....

[suffering-and-misery]

LMAO i was on the bus today and some dude is talking to his friends about going out for food and he goes 'wait lemme see if I have money' and pull a MAGNET out of his bad and starts counting out the coins attached to the magnet. i dont know if it was impressive or really stupid

[the-sky-is-my-home]

I love luffy so much

other protagonists are like the horrors of war changed me :( I can never truly return home :( this isn’t what I expected :/

luffy is just like this shit SLAPS! yes I experienced psychological and physical pain I could’ve never even imagined but I got to have a huge feast with all my friends afterward it was GREAT! and when I go back home I’ll tell everyone about my adventure and pay my tab with the treasure I found!

[house-of-mirrors]

If you think Orsinio is a sad, neurotic, 0-100 really fast, Catholic-guilt-ridden, wet cat of a man, you should see his brother. Where do you think he got it from

[weedle-testaburger]

shoutout to the person in the criminology lecture i was just supporting who said he's doing it 'to get in a true crime documentary' and when the lecturer asked if he'd be presenting it or it'd be about him he made a knowing face

[tomatoluvr69]

Ok so my friend left a bunch of clothes at my place by accident from their thxgiving break visit and they asked me to ship them back. But little do they know I’m gonna bake one of those leaked crumbl recipes making the rounds on here and put them in the box 😈