#absolutely nothing on that blog tho lmao

[qnzl-relocated]

❖ — HARLEY IS RELOCATING TO A SIDEBLOG. FIND HER THERE FOR NOW!!! ♥♥♥

[zhowongli]

hi i am alive

[todayisafridaynight]

i’ve got a villain tier list but not in terms of how good they are or whatever but just in terms of how funny i think they are and mine and masato constantly fight for #1 in my brain

[the-kipsabian]

all my fics have such stupid names lmao

[gojorgeous]

"sure thing"

pairing: target!gojo x assassin!fem!reader summary: you've been hired to kill the satoru gojo. how will you pull it off... and what will you do when he figures it out? content: MDNI (18+ only), nsfw, darkish content (all is well in the end), no established relationship, assassins/organized crime, blackmail, mention of a “suicide mission”, attempted murder (uhhhh), hidden identity, intended use of sex as a means to an end, mating press, unprotected sex, p->v, creampie, oral (fem!receiving), praise, pet names (gorgeous/sweetheart/baby), slight aftercare. a/n: me 🤝 describing gojo as having dimples welcome to my second 1k followers event fic! At this rate tho i’m going to hit 2k before i finish the 1k event LMAO. not that i'm complaining hehe. thank you for being patient and for all the support on my recent works! i really appreciate every ask, comment, follow, reblog, everything. they mean the world to me. check out the rest of my 1k event here. enjoy and remember that ALL AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED! creds: twitter template by @cafekitsune wc: 7.8k

“Who?!” 

No fucking way. There’s no way he just said what you think he said. 

“You heard me,” he scowls. He glares at you from across the desk. His seat is one of those cushy little office chairs, of course. Yours is plastic– cold and hard.

“Are you fucking insane?” you hiss. There’s no other explanation for what he’s asking you to do. He’s lost his fucking mind. 

“We have a client willing to pay big money for this. Big money for just an attempt,” he answers. 

You laugh, but there’s absolutely nothing funny about this conversation. “Oh, I’m sure you do. Probably because he’s practically invincible. I’ll never even lay a hand on him.” 

Your “boss”, for lack of a better term, only scowls harder, the wrinkles forming near his eyes etching deeper in his skin. “Well, you’d best find a way to make it work. You’re taking this job. That’s final.” You scoff. Maybe you should recommend he see someone… “No. There’s no way. I’m not doing this.” You stand, grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder. “Get someone else to go on your suicide mission.” You take a couple strides toward the door before two very large men move to block your path. 

“Not so fast,” your boss calls. You pause, eyeing up your competition. You could definitely take them if you needed to. You sense only a very faint amount of cursed energy coming from each of them– not even enough to make you blink– but something in your boss’s tone makes you turn back. 

“Yes?” You cross your arms over your chest, fingering a blade hidden in your breast pocket. 

He fiddles around in his pocket, pulling out a cigarette and lighting up right there in his office. You don’t try to hide the way your nose scrunches up. “You want to do this job.” 

Your eyes narrow. Something tells you you’re not going to like what comes next. “And why’s that?” 

He takes a long puff, letting the smoke flowing out of his lungs with a slow exhale. “Because otherwise that little brother of yours is gonna be…” he pauses to give you a smile that makes your stomach churn. “Hmm… a lot smaller, shall we say? Maybe in several limb sized pieces?”

You think your heart stops. Time halts as ice runs through your veins. Nobody knows about your brother. At least, they didn’t. 

Your boss’s smile grows even wider. In all your time as an assassin, you’ve never wanted to kill someone more. But you know you can’t. Just an attempt on his life will end your brother’s. 

“Don’t worry. He’s all tucked away and safe at home where you left him.” Just a tiny piece of your heart thaws with relief. “But try to run with him, or run yourself, and he won’t be safe much longer.” Your pulse pounds so viciously you’re sure everyone can hear. A bead of sweat rolls down your neck. “Now, will you accept the assignment?” 

Your jaw clenches. He got you. In all these years of working for him you’ve been careful, meticulous about hiding every piece of your personal life to avoid situations just like this. But he still got you. He got you. 

“Yes,” you breathe. You have no choice. You will either kill Satoru Gojo or you will die trying. 

“Good,” is all he says, and then you’re being escorted out of the office wondering where the hell you went wrong. 

~

It’s been three weeks since that fateful meeting with your boss. True to his word, your brother has remained unharmed, but you see his lackeys lurking around every corner. Neither you nor your brother are truly safe and you never will be again unless you can pull this off and then put together some plan to escape your boss’s clutches. 

You’ll fail. You know you will. The thought eats you up inside with every waking moment. 

You’ve done your best to learn every possible piece of information about Satoru Gojo in the past two weeks. You know you can’t tail him closely– he’d pick up on your cursed energy and notice your incessant presence, so you’ve had to study from a distance with only minimal moments of proximity. You know where he works, who he works with, what restaurants, bars, and clubs he frequents and what days of the week he tends to visit. You know what his order is at his favorite ramen restaurant, where he lives, what time he wakes up. Hell, you know what fucking brand of dish soap he uses. He lives a surprisingly… predictable lifestyle. He makes no attempt to switch up his schedule or cover his tracks. In any other situation he’d be every assassin’s dream, but this is Satoru Gojo and Satoru Gojo doesn’t need to worry about assassins– assassins need to worry about him.

It took you the first week to come up with a plan. You had no clue how you were going to get close to him, much less kill him, and his infinity technique was going to prove particularly problematic. How were you supposed to kill him when you couldn’t even touch him? You had to get him in a situation in which he would willingly let his guard down for you. 

You’d been on the subway when it hit you. Sex. You’d get him to have sex with you. If you could get him to take you home, he’d have to turn infinity off for at least a short time. That would be your time to strike. 

You’d spent the next two weeks primping yourself. You’d bought the most expensive dress you’d ever owned, got a mani-pedi, whitened your teeth, and spent a small fortune on makeup. Considering your circumstances, you thought your plan was quite a good one. You knew when he’d go out to the bar with his friends, which bar he’d go to, how long he’d stay, how he’d get a taxi home. You also knew when you’d arrive, how long you’d stay, and how you’d get a taxi with him– everything planned perfectly to best catch his attention. But for all your planning, there was still one thing you didn’t know. What kind of woman did Satoru Gojo go for? Someone submissive? Teasing? Aggressive? Playful? In all your time tracking him you’d never seen him take somebody home. It struck you as… odd. He was Satoru Gojo, renowned for his power, wealth, and good looks– surely he had women falling at his feet. Maybe he was just a little more… selective. If that was the case you’d have to be even quicker on your feet when you finally met him. And that time is now. 

You’re in your bathroom, checking your makeup one last time before heading out the door. Your brother sleeps soundly in the room down the hall, safe for the time being. You’ve contacted a friend, one who is at least willing to try to get him out if– when– you fail. You doubt it will be enough.

You make your way to his room. A quick peek inside reveals he’s snuggled up with a plushie elephant that he carries around like they’re attached at the hip. You creep inside, a sad smile on your lips. This may very well be the last time you see him. You brush a stray lock of hair from his eyes and press a kiss to the crown of his head. With one last whispered ‘I love you’, you’re out the door. If you linger, you won’t be able to go– and you have to. For him. 

The streets of Tokyo are cold tonight, like the weather knows what you’re about to attempt, like it’s preparing for death, for failure. For your failure.

The club you arrive at is upscale, and one where you’ve already tipped off the bouncer to let you bypass the line. You hear a few groans from the people behind you as you saunter straight inside. 

You’re conscious of every little move from the second you step inside. At any moment, he could see you and it could make or break your entire plan.

You press your shoulders back. You have a plan– stick to it. 

You make your way over to the bar, weaving your way between groups of people who are somewhere between giggling a little too loudly and tripping over their own feet. 

You find a free space at the bar and lean up onto your elbows, your eyes screening the bartenders. You smile when you see a familiar face. 

“Hey, Dean,” you call.

He turns and the sight of his friendly green eyes sets you a little more at ease. 

“Oh, shit. Hey!” He slings a towel over his shoulder and comes to stand across from you. “You’re back,” he says. You nod and smile softly. Ever since you’d determined this would be the place you’d been coming periodically, chatting up the bartenders. The last thing you needed was to stand around in a corner alone with seemingly no friends. That wouldn’t attract anyone, much less Satoru Gojo. 

Out of all the bartenders, Dean was your favorite– and you’d been oh so happy to learn that his schedule put him on every Friday night. 

“Yeah. Long day at work.” 

A smile pulls at his lips, but there’s a hint of sympathy in his eyes. “The usual, then?” 

You nod solemnly. “That’d be great. Thanks.” 

You watch him prepare the drink for you, feeling a little bad that it’s all a lie. There’s no bad day at work, you didn’t just happen to come in here one day and strike up a conversation with him. All of this is premeditated, planned, and it feels… lonely. It feels lonely to know that on what is probably your last night on earth you are surrounded by people who only think they know you. 

“So, anything new happening?” Dean drops your drink in front of you and you have a feeling it’s filled with a little more vodka than he’s supposed to put in there. 

Your eyes shift around the bar as subtly as you can manage. As much as you want to seem like you fit in, you also need to find Gojo. It’s a fine balance. 

You shrug. “Yeah, I guess I just feel like a lot of things are going to be changing for me pretty soon.” 

His brows pull together and the look he gives you is one of genuine interest and concern. It makes your heart wrench. “How so?” 

You swallow. “Dunno. Just… everything.”

There’s a moment of silence and then the tapping of a finger on your glass. “Damn, girl. Drink up. You need it.” 

You can’t help but smile. You have a feeling that Dean would have been a good friend of yours in another life. 

You take his advice, though, and bring your drink to your lips and force a smile. You can’t be moping– not tonight. 

The next twenty minutes are spent with Dean. Even when he’s making other drinks he’s still chatting with you, still being a good… friend. You dread leaving your little haven at the bar. The time is coming when you’ll have to seek out your target.

You’re shocked when it’s the other way around. 

“Hey, gorgeous.” There’s a light brush on your shoulder and you turn. It takes all you have to keep your features schooled and calm. Satoru fucking Gojo just tapped your shoulder. 

Nothing prepared you for how handsome he is up close. All those days of research, of tracking and tailing– none of it does the real thing justice. Even with those stupid sunglasses inside… he’s fucking beautiful. “I’ll pay for all of your drinks tonight if you let me skip this hideous line,” he whines. 

You give yourself no more than a second to recover. You school your features into a smirk. You glance at Dean with an ‘is this okay?’ look. He just smiles and shrugs. 

You turn back to Gojo, bracing yourself this time for the beauty you’re about to face. You meet his gaze and know you could get lost in it. “Be my guest.” 

His smile nearly blinds you and his dimples nearly make you pass out. Still, you keep your cool. 

“Yesssss!” He looks like a puppy just offered a bone. 

He spills his drink order to Dean and it’s far more than could possibly be just for him. He’s here with his friends, then. Probably the blonde man who always looks too tired to be here and the girl with the brown hair who always seems like she’s just along for the ride. 

You bite your lip to hide a laugh when he orders himself two strawberry daiquiris. Somehow you still catch his attention. 

“What?” he pouts. You can’t help but feel a small stirring of surprise in your gut. He’s far more… relaxed than you’d expected him to be. He’s almost… childish? 

You press your lips together and shake your head. You’ve reached the point where your research can’t take you any further. From this point on, it’s up to you to discover what Satoru Gojo likes in a woman. 

You debate how to answer. Play coy? Tease him? Stay silent? Any option could be as correct as the next. You didn’t know where to start… so maybe you’d just start by being yourself. 

“Just, um… not the order I was expecting,” you laugh. It’s halfway genuine. With the way he’s acting, it’s hard to remember that he’s the most powerful man alive. 

His pout only intensifies. “Well, what’s your order?” 

His question is answered when Dean sets another cosmopolitan in front of you. You laugh. “Never said I was judging, just that it wasn’t what I expected.” 

Another smile tugs at his lips and something stirs in your gut that you try your very hardest to ignore. This was a job. There was no room for actually enjoying it. This man was probably going to kill you later, in a matter of hours. 

There’s a beat of silence, and then a slight shift in his demeanor. He leans closer and you see a twitch of his lips. Your heart jumps. 

“You’re a sorcerer,” he says. 

You hold back an exhale of relief. You thought he might be onto you. If he is, he’s choosing not to reveal it yet. 

You nod and take what you hope is a casual sip of your drink. “And you’re Satoru Gojo.” 

A brow arches high enough for you to see it over his sunglasses. “You know who I am?” 

You force a chuckle, smirking despite the pounding of your heart. “Who doesn’t?” 

You’d decided long ago to tell him that you knew exactly who he was. It would seem more suspicious for a fellow sorcerer to have no idea what the Satoru Gojo looked like. 

He flashes you a smile full of white and stupidly fucking perfect teeth. “That’s true, heh.” You press your lips together to avoid a smile. Not too humble, then… 

“So, what’s your technique” 

You shoot him a glance that questions his sanity. Asking a sorcerer what their technique is… is personal. It’s not information you give out to a rando at the bar– even if it is Satoru Gojo.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” You take another sip of your drink, trying your hardest to remain somewhere on the border or interested and casual. 

“Bet I could find out.” 

That makes you turn fully, angling your body toward his. “Oh yeah? You challenging me to a fight?” You smirk and shake your head. “I’ll pass.” 

He pouts again, but you see a hint of a smile peeking through. “Aw, come on. That’s no fun…” 

You chuckle and take another sip of your drink. You’re not sure you’re sipping just for appearances anymore. You think you probably just need a little liquid courage to see this thing through. “Sorry. I value my life.” 

You watch as he slides his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose, just enough for you to get a glimpse of what’s behind. You nearly choke again and this time you don’t manage to hide your nervous swallow when he smirks. 

“You’re so sure you’d lose?” His voice is teasing now and you hate that it’s actually having an effect on you. Job, job, job, just a job… 

You clear your throat. “I like to think I’m not stupid enough to think that I could win.” 

His eyes are blue– so fucking blue– and you feel like he’s seeing straight into your soul. Can he see? Can he see your filthy intentions? Your plotting? The rottenness of what you’re going to do? “What if I promise to take it real easy on you?” 

Your drink is forgotten now. You’re lost in what he’s saying– in him. “No thanks.” Your voice is growing lower and you feel like there’s some magnet forcing you to lean into him, to seek his warmth. 

“So you like it rough, then.” The trance is broken and your blood runs hot. Holy shit. This man is flirting with you and you hardly even had to try. He's trying to take you home. Little does he know, you’re a sure thing. 

You watch as he throws back the rest of his strawberry daiquiri with a pleased “ahhh” at the end. When he turns back to you his eyes have a certain spark in them that makes your thighs press together. “You wanna dance with me?” 

Fuck. This is going too well to be real. But you’re not about to pass up a good deal. 

“What about your friends?” you ask and eye the several untouched drinks still left on the bar. It’s risky– giving him an out, but you can’t seem too eager.

He follows your gaze only to bounce his eyes straight back to you. “I’m sure they’ll get a look at ya and understand.” 

The smirk he’s giving you is making electricity shoot straight between your legs. Damn. You really wish you didn’t have to kill him– or at least try to. 

When he extends his hand you only hesitate for a second. Your heart leaps when you feel his skin on yours, knowing he’s let infinity down. He pulls you onto the dancefloor and it’s not long before he’s running his hands all over you– groping your ass, pinching your thighs, nipping at your neck. Pretty soon the dancefloor evolves to a dark corner of the club with his lips on yours and goddamn he’s a good kisser. You’ve got your fingers in his hair and his hand way too close to your boobs when he whispers those fateful words– “let’s get out of here.”

You can only hide your swallow and nod before he’s pulling you through the crowd, leaving the club behind. He hauls you both into the backseat of a taxi and the door’s barely closed before he’s all over you again. You think you hear the taxi driver mutter something about ‘staining the seats’ but you’re too far gone to give a shit. 

Fuck, he feels good. He’s kisses you like he’s starved and your lips are the fountain of fucking life, like he’s never felt something so good and now he can’t get enough. And, god, he’s handsy. You’re forever grateful to your past self for discreetly hiding your blade in your bra– he would have felt a holster on your thigh at least ten times over by now. 

He groans when you arrive at what you know is his apartment building, though you don’t let on that you recognize the place in the slightest. The look on his face makes you think he’s feeling actual physical pain at the prospect of having to peel away from you for even a second. Nonetheless, he tosses a wad of cash at the taxi driver and pulls you straight inside.

He can’t even wait for the elevator to come, groping your waist right there in the lobby and then when the elevator finally does come, shoving you up against the metal wall a licking stripe across your collarbone. 

You can’t deny how nice it feels to be so desperately… wanted. Never once has a man made you feel this way– so consumed by him, him, him. Once again you curse the universe that you’re here with a mission other than getting laid. 

You find yourself giggling when he pulls you out of the elevator and presses his palm to a fucking scanner to get into his apartment. You try to pull yourself together, but when he laughs with you, you can’t help but melt into him a little more.

As soon as the door clicks shut behind you, he’s got you up against another wall with your legs wrapped around his waist and his face buried in your neck. His sunglasses are long gone and you pull at his shirt, popping the buttons straight off the fabric until you slide the shirt down his shoulders and onto the floor.

“That was Versace,” he whines. 

You plaster your lips to his. “I don’t care.” All he does is chuckle. 

“So gorgeous…” he breathes and your head slumps back against the wall, giving him better access to the soft skin of your neck. Any minute now. Any minute he’s going to start stripping your clothes off and you’re going to have to let this charade crumble. You don’t want to. He’s practically worshiping you. It’s perfect, it’s amazing, and you don’t want it to end. 

His fingers dig into the flesh of your ass and suddenly you’re moving again– moving, moving, moving until your back is bouncing against the softness of a mattress and you’re fucking giggling again like a lovesick idiot. Maybe you’d had a few too many sips of those cosmopolitans. 

He’s smiling as he crawls over you and the sight makes your heart flutter with both lust and terror. Lust because he’s so fucking beautiful and terror because you know that any moment now you’re going to attempt to end that beauty forever. 

A lump forms in your throat and you try unsuccessfully to swallow it. You have to do this, have to try. There’s no other way, no other option. Not for you.

Your thoughts must not have been as perfectly concealed as you’d thought because he quirks a brow. “Something goin’ on up here?” His lips slide across your temple in a touch that feels far too tender for a hookup. “Don’t worry, baby. It’ll fit.” He snickers at his own joke before burying himself in your neck. His hand slides down your side, pressing you up into him until you can feel every curve and cut of his muscles. 

You bite your lip. You’ve already slipped enough for him to notice your nerves– you can’t let it happen again. You have to do it soon. Now. As soon as you see an opportunity you have to strike. You have to. 

You arch up into him, scratching your fingers down his back, trying to seem as invested in the moment as you can. He gets greedier, leaving open-mouthed kiss down your neck, across your collarbone. You nearly freeze up when he kisses low into the valley of your breasts– as low as your dress allows. Then he moves over your clothes, kissing down your stomach as his hands rub your thighs. 

Now. Now, while he’s not looking.

You slide a hand into his hair and another up to your chest, trying to play it off like you’re touching yourself. You sneak your fingers into your bra, feeling the cool metal of your blade glide across your thumb. Now. 

You fist your fingers in his hair, holding his head down as best you can while you arc the blade toward his neck. Just one good hit, please… 

You think you’re going to strike true– you’re so close– and then a firm hand wraps around your wrist, stalling your attack just as it was about to land. 

Fuck. 

He doesn’t look up right away, but you hear him sigh, feel his hot breath fanning over your thighs and stomach. When he finally does look up it’s with the eyes of a teacher who’s disappointed his student didn’t do their homework. 

“Come on now, baby. I was really hoping you’d forget about all this and we could just have a good night together…” He’s pouting, whining, like a child who’s been told he can’t have dessert before dinner. Your shock stills you long enough that he easily maneuvers the blade from your hand, throwing it with a thwack into the wall to his right. It lands perfectly. 

This is it. You’re going to die now. But not without a fight. 

You spring up from the bed, kicking him a couple times in the process. You’ve missed your only chance. Now, if there’s even the slightest chance of escape, you have to take it. 

You bare feet hit the carpet. No time to find your shoes. You dart for the door and hear him groan behind you. For a second you think you might actually make it, but you should know better. 

He appears in front of you, straight out of fucking thin air, and his pout has transformed into something a little more sinister. “Come on, gorgeous. Let’s talk it out, yeah?” 

You take a shaky step back, but you know it’s no use. He’s got you. It’s over. 

You swallow and lift your chin– you at least want to die with a little dignity. “Just make it quick. Please.” 

He sighs again and slides his hands in his fucking pockets, like this is just a stroll down the street. He stalks toward you, forcing you back until you’re pressed up against another wall. This motherfucker really likes walls. 

His pout shifts to a smirk that borders far too closely on a grin. “Oh, no. I’ve always had a thing for taking it slow.” 

You nearly snort. He certainly hadn’t had a thing for taking it slow just a minute ago. His arms cage you and your world grows infinitely smaller until it’s just him and those blue-ass eyes staring you down. Some distant part of you thinks you might not mind if it’s the last thing you ever see. 

“Damn, I really thought you might give it up and just let me fuck you,” his pout returns. “So disappointing…” he sighs. 

Your lips part. “You knew?” 

That lights his face up like a Christmas tree. “Sensed you tailing me these past few weeks. Started on theeeee– 21st, no?” 

Fuck. You’d been so careful. You’d only tailed him in public spaces, where your energy would be more diluted by the crowds. You’d stayed far enough away that he should only have caught mere glimpses of you, even suppressed your energy. He should not have been able to sense you. But he was Satoru Gojo– things people were not supposed to be able to do came easily to him. 

But you have one thing on him. 

“The 18th,” you whisper. “Started on the 18th.”

There’s a beat of silence and then his smile is growing wider, wider, wider, until it’s practically blinding you. “Well, shit,” he laughs. “You’re pretty good.” 

You let a tiny smile slip through your terror. “I try.” 

His eyes travel up and down your body, his pout slipping away to a frown. “What to do with you… hmm…” You lift your chin, taking shallow little breaths through your nose. You’re looking death in the face, but you’d never thought it would be so beautiful. He sighs. “I guess I could let you go.” 

You freeze. He notices. 

He quirks a brow, another smirk sliding across his lips. “What? Didn’t think that was an option?” You stay silent. No way he’ll let you go. It’s a bluff. A cruel trick. “It’s not like you could try again, gorgeous. I know your energy now and what you look like. Sorry, but your chance is gone.” That was fine by you. Your breaths come a little heavier, hope pulsing in your veins. “But–” shit. “Letting you go is so… boring. Especially after where we left off, yeah?” 

Your jaw drops. “You cannot seriously be suggesting that we–” 

He cuts you off with a kiss, one that makes your toes curl in the carpet and your stomach clench in anticipation. 

“Oh, yes I am,” he chuckles. You feel his hand sliding down your hip, cool and calculating. “I know you weren’t faking the whole thing, gorgeous. Nobody makes out like that when they’re faking it.” You feel your cheeks heat. “And nobody gets this wet-” his fingers snake beneath your skirt, pressing to the wet patch on your panties. “When they’re faking it.” You gasp and reach out, hands clasping onto his shoulders for support. He only chuckles. “No worries, gorgeous. No need for any more faking tonight. I’ll make sure it’s all real.” 

Somehow you’ve got your legs wrapped around his waist again and you’re headed to the bedroom– again. It’s like a replay– a redo. 

“Let’s keep it less killy this time, yeah?” 

Your back hits the mattress, your body bouncing lightly on its softness before he’s crawling after you. It’s simultaneously the best and worst deja vu you’ve ever experienced. 

His hands slide down your body again, fingertips hooking beneath the hem of your skirt and shimmying it up your thighs until your panties are on full display. 

“Shit,” you breathe. He’s moving so fast, like he’s desperate to go further, to get his greedy hands all over your bare skin. 

You can’t say you blame him. You feel the same.

His thumbs hook under the fabric of your panties and you know it’s over for you. You can feel his warm breath skating across your thighs, feel the calluses on his hands scraping against your skin. You reach a hand down, tangling it in his hair, and you nearly faint when he smirks and looks up at you with those blue fucking eyes. 

“I think I’ve seen this film before, sweetheart.” He tilts his head, resting his cheek on the plush of your thigh. “No more knives hiding anywhere, yeah?” 

You clench your jaw, trying to control your pounding heart. You can’t believe you’re doing this. Why are you doing this? You wish you had a better answer than he’s beautiful and sexy and just a glance at him makes you want to rip his clothes off and climb him like a tree. 

“Silent, hm? Guess I’ll just have to check myself…” 

He’s pressing up the hem up your skirt, more, more, more, until he’s pulling your dress straight up over your arms and running his hands down your bare sides. 

“None there…” His fingers cup your breast and you gasp, unable to contain your shock and the jolt that just rushed through you. He traces the outline of your bra. “You had the last one in here, no?” Your chest heaves under his touch, pressing the flesh of your breast up into his fingers. He smirks. “Best check again.” You feel an arm slide beneath you back and then your bra loosens before it’s completely gone. 

There’s a beat of silence, of admiration. He gazes down on you and you see his snark falter for just a moment, replaced by a sparkle in his eyes. It makes your skin heat. His fingers brush the swell of your breasts, thumb trailing down over a nipple. You arch and gasp again. 

“Fuck. Quit teasing so much.” 

He chuckles and the sound washes over you until it settles in your bones. “Sush. I’m not done checking for weapons yet.” 

You scowl but before you can even move to open your mouth he’s sliding your panties down your legs, hooking them around your ankles and tossing them somewhere on the floor.

His tongue darts out to wet his lips and you watch him settle himself down between your thighs, eyes never once leaving your center. “Don’t see any knives here, either, but maybe I should double-check…” he breathes. 

He hooks your legs over his shoulders and you shudder, your breaths shaky. Fuck. You were supposed to kill him tonight but if he keeps going like this you’ll be the one deceased. 

He meets your eyes when he takes the first long lick along your folds. You swear he’s smirking.

Your head rolls back and a pathetic sounding groan slips past your lips. You hadn’t realized how much he’d worked you up. Just the slightest touch feels like heaven.

His tongue nudges at your clits and your legs clench, tightening around his head. He laughs into your cunt and his warm breath skates up and over your tummy. Your fingernails scrape his scalp.

“I think you like this, gorgeous.” 

Each word sends little puffs of air against your folds. It’s driving you crazy. You stare down at him, letting a smirk pull at your lips. Your eyes dart over his mouth, wet with your slick, and you don’t fail to notice the way he’s struggling to hold your gaze, eyes flickering back down to your cunt every second. Your smirk grows. “I think you’re liking this, too.” 

He licks another stripe, from you pulsing hole to your throbbing clit, and this time he’s the one groaning. “Damn right I am.”

He eats you out like he kisses you– like a starved man, like he’ll die if he stops for just one second, like he can’t live without your juices on his tongue. 

You whine and bury both hands in his hair, tugging desperately when his lips wrap around you clit and suck. It’s so much, too much, and yet it’s just right. 

Your hips buck and squirm, but he’s got his fingers pressed deep into your flesh, holding you down to take whatever he gives. You think you see heaven when he slides two fingers into your walls, curling them into that gummy spot that has an unbearable heat building deep inside you. 

“S-Satoru-” you stutter and you hear him moan and mutter into your cunt like he’s unwilling to leave it for even a second.

“Fuck, yes. Say my name, sweetheart.” Who are you to deny him? You whisper, whine, and whimper his name with every thrust of his fingers, every lick of his tongue. It’s delicious. Every so often he swaps his mouth and hand, thrusting his tongue as deep inside you as he can while his fingers rub dangerous little circles on your clit. Whenever things get a little too filthy he laps his tongue across your entire cunt and along your inner thighs, cleaning up every stray drop. You don’t know how much longer you can last under such a complete and total assault. 

“S-Satoru, ‘m gonna-” He licks a thick stripe through your folds that makes your sentence end in a whine, his lips settling to suckle on your clit again.

God, it’s messy. It’s fucking disgusting. His whole chin is covered in spit and slick– and you love it. “Cum for me, baby,” he breathes. 

You don’t need to hear much more. You let the heat inside you release with a whine, thighs trembling on his shoulders. Your walls pulse and throb around his fingers, sucking him in and never wanting him to leave. His tongue continues to rub lazy circles around your clit, working you through your high and making it last so long you think you might pass out.

Warmth spreads from the top of your head to the tips of your toes and your muscles tense and clench with each pulsing throb. You swear to god you see fucking stars.

It seems to go on forever, leaving you limp and shaking when the last waves finally slip away. 

He presses a final kiss to your clit, one that makes your hips jolt from the overstimulation before he’s lifting himself up. “Wow. That looked like a big one,” he chuckles. He runs a soothing hand along your thigh and you don’t even have the energy to give him some sort of snarky reply. There’s hardly even a pause before something shifts in his eyes. “Let’s see if we can get one that’s even bigger, yeah?” 

Before you can even process what he’s said you feel strong hands slide under your thighs, pressing them tightly to your chest as he settles himself close to you

You grasp at the sheets, hearing the clinking of a belt buckle and then the familiar pitch of a zipper being undone. 

“Fuck,” you mutter. He’s big. Long and pretty and with a perfectly flushed tip. Your eyes are rolling back just thinking about having him inside you.

A strong hand smooths along your thighs, folding you in a way that feels more vulnerable and exposing than anything you’ve ever done before. He pauses for a beat, just staring down at you silently.

“Gorgeous,” he finally mutters, and something in your heart squeezes. His hand grips your hip firmly, holding you in place and you gasp when you feel him prodding at your entrance. It’s pathetic. You’re pathetic. Big bad assassin turned simpering little bitch over some good Gojo dick. 

“Just relaxxxxx, baby.” His hand rubs soothing little circles into your side and it’s so divinely distracting that it catches you by surprise when he starts pushing into you. You gasp and he only chuckles. Asshole. 

He’s big– really big – and the stretch is somehow both painful and perfect. You groan into the air, struggling to take him. Every inch feels like it must be the last, but then there’s more. Your walls clench around him on instinct, trying to force him out. 

“Fuck, baby. What did I say about relaxing?” You hiss when his hand skates down your tummy to rub messy circles on your clit. The relief is instant and you moan when you feel him slide in a little further. “There we go. Good girl.” 

He continues feeding his dick into you, inch by inch, until his hips finally press to yours and you think you can feel him in your fucking throat. You hear him exhale, like it’s a relief to finally be fully inside you, like he’s been waiting for ages. 

You expect him to not hold back, to let himself go and pound into you relentlessly, but he doesn’t. He only leans down closer to you, settling in when he starts a pace of slow, sensual thrusts. His brows pinch, his eyes hardened in concentration.

“Ah, fuck. You’re so tight.” 

You want to shoot something back at him, but you’re hardly remembering to breathe with how deep he’s sliding into you. Instead, you just end up holding him tighter, your eyes fluttering shut. 

Lips dust across your cheeks, just below your lashes. “Keep your eyes open, gorgeous. Wanna see you.” 

You blink, thinking that it’s a notion that feels a little too intimate for a hookup. Regardless, you do as he wants, opening your eyes and holding his gaze.

A smile splits his lips and he presses his forehead to yours, picking up the pace of his thrusts. It’s not long before the sound of skin on skin fills the room and you’re both panting. His breath skates across your skin, hot and heavy, hitching with the groans and whines that spill from his chest. You can’t help but pull him closer, raking your nails down his back hard enough to leave marks. The action makes him emit a noise you can only describe as a desperate whimper. “Fuck, baby. Yes.” 

His lips press to yours in a kiss that’s all desperation and teeth and tongue. You kiss him back with equal intensity, your body rocking with each heavy thrust. He’s pounding into you now, frantic for more, more, more of you. You want him to take it, take all of you. 

A familiar heat pinches in your stomach and you know it won’t be long before he’s pushing you to another release. His dick drags in and out of you, prodding at the gummy spot inside you with every thrust and brushing so deliciously against your cervix that you can’t stop the moans spilling from your lips. It has you seeing stars again, has you clawing at him and panting into his mouth. 

“Satoru… harder,” you breathe. You need more– more of everything, of him. 

He groans. “You got it, gorgeous.” 

His hips slam into you and it’s so perfect that you can’t help but whimper beneath him. It only gets worse when you feel his fingers on your clit again, hand pressed between your bodies. “Cum on my dick, baby.” Your eyes roll back, that coil inside you rolling tighter. You feel his muscles tensing and shaking above you and you know he’s close, too. “Where do you want it?” he asks, and from the pinched look on his face you can tell exactly where he wants it. You know you’re an idiot for feeling the same. 

“Inside,” you breathe. He groans so loudly it rattles in your ears.

“That’s my girl,” he says, but it’s nearly a whisper with how strained it is. His hand continues at your clit, rubbing perfect little circles that make your legs tremble where they’re pressed against your chest. Your jaw hangs open, but you don’t dare close your eyes. Satoru is still holding your gaze intently, desperately, like he needs to see you. The thought throws you over the edge.

You cry his name, clawing at his shoulder and shaking like a leaf as you feel yourself gush and pulse all over his dick. For the second time that evening you feel the heat inside you swell and burst, washing through you in waves that nearly consume you whole. It’s a struggle to hold his eyes, to not let them roll back into your skull and give into the pure ecstasy of your high– especially when he’s cumming, too. You can hear him moaning in your ear, feel him twitching inside you, feel his hot cum coating your walls and there’s just so fucking much of it. You swear he cums for a minute straight before he slumps down onto you, burying his face in your neck as you pant. 

You’re shaking and so is he, breaths heaving in and out. Reality slowly starts to seep back in, even with his dick still softening inside you and his cum leaking down your thighs. 

You tried to kill him. You failed. You had sex. Now what? Would he really let you go like he’d said he would? You wanted to believe it, but life hadn’t taught you to be that trusting. You should move, untangle yourself from him and escape before he has time to change his mind. 

“You assassins are always thinking so hard,” He mumbles into the curve of your neck. “Maybe you should try to relax for once.”

You swallow when you feel him pressing his lips to your throat, trailing up to your jaw. It’s… tender, gentle, and it feels so nice. You can’t help the way you melt into the touch a bit. You feel him smile into your skin. “There we go.”

His hand settles on your waist, rubbing soothing little circles that send a jolt of urgency up your spine. No. You’re enjoying this– being close to him, laying here with him, breathing him in. That’s not what this is supposed to be. 

You tense again, shifting to get away from him, but he only sighs and presses his weight onto you. 

“Come on, gorgeous. No need to leave so soon. Just stay for a bit, yeah?” He nibbles at your jaw, but it doesn’t work this time. You have to go. You’ve failed your mission. You don’t know what that means for your brother. You’d never thought this would have an ending besides your death. 

“I have to go,” you mutter, pushing at his chest. 

He chuckles, but you don’t miss the strain and… hurt? “Got something more important than trying to kill me?” 

You clench your teeth, trying once again to shove him away. “Yes, actually.” 

He finally pulls back to meet your gaze, brows slightly pinched. “Like what?” 

You push in earnest now, anger and panic rising in your gut. You have to go, have to check on your brother, have to figure out what you’re going to do. “That’s really none of your business,” you seethe. 

You go for another shove, but strong hands clasp around your wrists, pinning them to the bed. His expression has gone flat now, serious. “Actually, I think it’s completely my business. You going to report your failure? Should I expect another assassin soon?”

You scowl, tugging at his grasp and trying to free yourself. “Yeah, probably. He’s an insufferable idiot. I told him it wouldn’t work and it didn’t, but I don’t doubt he’ll send another.” 

His face cracks, his brows pulling together again. “If you knew it wouldn’t work then why’d you take the job?” 

You struggle again, less angry and more desperate now. “Because he’s got my fucking brother at gunpoint and I’ve got to figure out how the fuck I’m going to save him!” you shout.

There’s silence for a long moment– a long, uncomfortable beat of it– and then his expression softens into something… tender. It sends a chill up your spine. Satoru Gojo was never supposed to be tender with you, and that’s all he’s been. 

“I’ll save him,” he says. Your heart jumps and his grip on your wrists loosens, allowing you to slip free. 

“What?” you breathe. He sits back, allowing you to prop yourself up into a slightly less vulnerable position. 

He exhales slowly, but you don’t miss the way his hand settles on your bare thigh, a comforting weight. “I’ll save your brother and then I’ll take care of your boss.” A smirk creeps across his lips. “What? Don’t think I can do it?”

You stare blankly, lips parted. There’s no doubt he can do it, but that’s not the question swirling in your mind. 

“Why would you help me?” You’d tried to kill the man. You couldn’t make heads or tails of a reason why he’d go out of his way to help you. 

He chuckles. “Well, in case you didn’t know, I’m a hero of sorts.” You have to fight not to roll your eyes. “And… there’s something I want from you.” 

There it is– the catch. He wants something. You have no idea what you could possibly have to give him, but you’re willing for it to be just about anything. You narrow your eyes. “What?” 

He grins, but you can see the glint of mischief in his gaze. His hand slides further up your thigh, up your side, over your shoulder, until it rests at the nape of your neck and his face is only inches from your own. “What’s your number, gorgeous?”

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[pieroulette]

Did I, A Side Character Became the Male Lead's Wife?!

2023 | 13+ | ONESHOT | YANG JUNGWON × READER | -> PART 2

SUMMARY you — a side character in a royal novel doing absolutely nothing but enjoy your rich ass yet boring life, only watching over the female lead and doing your job in protecting her, only for a pair of kittenish eyes to fall not upon the female lead but on you, unfortunately.

AUTHOR'S NOTE not me writing a whole ass oneshot at 5am bcs of that sweet ask from that one anon, imma name u serotonin dopamine anon lmao- and jungwon bae u r truly my muse.. also inspired by sum manhwas cuz I binge read 90+ chapters in less than a day 💀💀💀 plus happy 900+ followers for me <333 mom wake up I'm famous even tho I'll never let u know what my secret writing blog is about 😊😊

a side character, how cute?

well, you only came to know of this very horrible (not really) fact that you're nothing close to a main character's vibes cause look at you babe, where's the sparkling shiny starry dust on you as you walked through the red carpet at the ball?

and did they even spare a glance at you? unfortunately, nope. because the female lead, Liz; was your enemy, at least in how your character was written in the novel by the goddamn author which was you.

yes, that's right!

you, a hella introverted author dwelling in the deepest corner of her room doing nothing but spent an ungodly amount of hours creating the perfect and enchanting characters after crying for major character death of a fic a few years ago. wiping your dripping tears off your cheeks in a comical way as you pull open your laptop and risk your 20/20 vision for life, just so you can reverse the aching pain in your chest that you wore a thick ass glasses now.

Liz, the female lead. Swooning over her was your religion, throwing not one but a ten whole buckets explaining how perfect she was—or how tremendously kind she was, delicate and utterly sweet. patting yourself on the back for creating such a goddess of a character, so it's only wise for you to give her a fitting male lead, right? Okay we'll talk about that later since it's about you right now.

So how did you end up in your novel? Well, because of one fateful day of you doing absolutely nothing but taking a goddamn rest, and whoever the god in heaven that just randomly decided to throw you in the novel you wrote yourself—must be utterly insane. Perfect indeed!

it took you a humongous realisation to see yourself in a dark green puffy dress that represents jealousy, envy, and betrayal—which also represents the side character standing behind the female lead on the thick cover of your book. you've originally written her as that wicked best friend that uses her seductive way of speech to seduce men, and at last turning her back at the female lead by accusing her of a horrendous crime.

her fatal fate consists of her head being snapped by the guillotine, unfortunately. but for you, not really, cause you are so in for destroying wicked characters but jokes on you—you're now in the body of that character.

pfft, can't the gods put you in a character that lives near the sea, with your straw hat on and as you drank your lemon juice away from the public drama, angsty dialogues, cringe moments you yourself have created because you don't have atleast an ounce of social skills that's why you pour it all on your characters.

"oh my apologies, milady— pfft—" three ladies sticking with each other like a super glue, had thrown the glass of wine on the female lead's gown—earning a series of gasps from everyone who saw but you were sure won't pay an ounce of consideration towards her as you had written almost everyone in this novel as "the world against the weak, fragile character."

oh, right. the hyena laughters of those you describe in episode 3 of "the flashy ball"; the three evil sisters, because why not? they added the extra spices in your tongue to the point you couldn't wait for them to get slap by the female lead or possibly someone.

ah, the tremendous satisfaction.

and you were one of that person whose hands itching to smash their skull apart, you cringed enormously at them as they were the ones that brought total trouble wherever they went or whoever are unlucky enough to get in their way. unfortunately, you seal your female lead's fate with them as she need some little obstacles, doesn't she?

you as hell were not sure what you're supposed to do, whether to just let things happen as the story goes or you do the male lead's job in protecting the female lead cause you have no idea why is he taking such a long time to appear, when he should've made his grand entrance at the freaking introduction?

and you wrote it that way cause you got fed up with male leads making their first appearance at the ball, and somehow quickly gaining the female lead's heart like Cinderella cause dear lord where's the slow burn?

just say, you're a conservative grandma type of a mindset or that you are skeptical over love at first sight. yep, you're right. that's why you ain't gonna let your precious female lead get bullied in front of your very eyes. she's like your granddaughter right now, seriously.

a shriek echoed through the entire ball, gaining everyone's attention. "oh my god! my dress! you— lady Liz! who did you even brought with you?!"

oh right, you forgot it's your first time at the ball either. "my apologies, milady. it's just that i saw a bunch of hyenas roaming around.." you rubbed the back of your neck.

"hyenas?! guards—"

"chill, what's the commotion here?" a bright dashing blonde haired man in a red royal suit came around, with sets of stars dusting upon his form which you already realise to be part of the main characters but unfortunately you forgot. you ain't having that extra superhuman memory just because you are an author.

the bunch of hyenas before you reasoned with the prince, but you slowly realise that the prince was none other than Prince Jake. Inspired by that one puppy image idol from fourth generation of kpop, you were apparently slurping your noodles in the local restaurant when you watched him imitating a dog from the tv, causing you to choke on your noodles.

it's safe to say, he's hot enough that he had to be part of your main characters. aah, that signature dashing smile of his as he defended the female lead with his wisely chosen string of words which immediately melted everyone's heart at sight.

times like this you wish you were actually the female lead, but the logical side of you beg to differ; you are not emotionally capable of spewing cringy romantic words for that's only reserved for writing. So thank you, i'll pass.

Surely, Prince Jake ain't the male lead for your precious female lead but you just let them converse with each other despite her with her absolute kindness, urging you to talk with them too, atleast a word. it sort of felt for a moment like she was trying to match you with the prince.

like no please, you'd rather not to. hot guys are hot, but they're not worth the emotional investment past the fangirling section.

plus the prince doesn't seem interested you as he doesn't spare not even one look at you which obviously you couldn't care any less, you sneakily went out the ball after a series of mishaps—for example your heavy puffy ass gown with its sole purpose to only look pretty but the reality ain't that pretty to say the least, panting like a dog as you took each step towards the entrance all while cussing yourself for ignoring your logical part of brain that you shouldn't have been adding humongous useless words to describe the gown just to make it sound extremely pleasing to the readers.

now you're the one to bear the consequences of your own writing, the fuck.

"one! two!—" a long, long, depressing sigh echoes. "three! ah!—" consequently falling upon your face, what a perfect day indeed. you just wanted to go home, tuck yourself in your comforting blanket, eat your hot cup of ramen or indulge yourself in the sea of chocolate while daydreaming of your favourite idols and fictional characters.

not this awful disaster of you getting tangled in the courts' affairs.

"i suppose, you need help, milady?"

oh no, certainly not. don't call me milady, pretend i do not exist for i certainly do not have the social skills to pretend that i like you, or form a decent conversation especially with men.

"milady?"

you curled yourself, burying your head into the comfort of your gowns. wondering quite a bit of how odd you look in the middle of the hallway.

"milady?" his voice-like whisper came closer, obviously standing beside you right now. "are you okay?"

fuck it. "please, i beg of you to kindly leave me alone as my day has been utterly ruined and—" oh wait, he seems oddly familiar. those lush fluffy hair and kittenish orbs that only softens among those he were close enough.

prince jungwon.

oh! the male lead, oh my god! your jaw hang so low it fell on the ground, your eyes sparkled in dozens of star like universe as you took in his marvelous beauty that you had spent creating meticulously after studying all the '101 rules of how to create the perfect male lead that had the readers heart evaporating & a huge ass green forest that certainly would cause blazing flames'.

"oh my god! you look absolutely gorgeous, i've done it really well didn't i?! oh my god!"

"o-oh—! absolutely, you did well!" he immediately replied back, pressing his lips tight nervously.

wait what? what did he say? oh shit, oh well, covering your mouth instantly as you accidentally let it out before the prince, your precious male lead that you solely created for the female lead. "i—.."

the prince, your very precious character—obviously taken aback with a slight blush dusting of his adorable cheeks as he raise his fist up to his lips, coughing a couple of seconds. a personality trait you very well are familiar of cause that's how you wrote him when he fall in love with the female lead.

your eyes ogled out at that familiar sight, screaming at the back of your mind—wait, wait! you're not supposed to fall in love with me, you idiot! go back! go inside the ball, she's inside there!

"that's oddly brave of you, milady. i'd certainly go as far as to say that i've never seen such traits from a lady." kitten eyes softening at you, crouching down as he lend both of his hands for you. you raised your eyebrow confusingly at what is he trying to pull at but you realise he was intending to get you up.

"u-uhm? uh, sorry. i could get up on my own, actually." yeah, that's what you did. pushing yourself back up despite his protests because you ain't gonna let him fall any further for you, nah uh, not in this life, your mission is to get him and your female lead together inside the frames of birds holding flower wreaths as they went on to their happily ever after.

not with you!

"may i have the honour to know your name, though, milady?" why the fuck isn't he leaving, what is there so interesting in you that he is still standing here asking you such generic questions.

you shouldn't be having the characters attention on you as you obviously wrote it that way, and that even though your character in the novel had tried to get the prince's heart, despite resorting to foul actions, that he never truly had been attracted to her despite this characters' seductive aura.

for you squealed so loud at the scene you wrote, with jungwon putting her in her place. "you are not her, and you would never be her." along with the bunch of your readers hosting a flamboyant celebration under the comments, screaming over how loyal he was.

so what in the actual fuck is this?

"you don't need my name." you nonchalantly answered.

"my apologies?"

"you see, my best friend is in the ball—" you gestured your hands to the entrance of the ballroom, "and she needs your help more than i do."

"wait? why would she need my help?" his eyebrows knitted together in utter confusion as you pushed him through his back.

"of course, she do! don't ask anything!"

"wait!— my name is!" he forcefully turn to face you again, but you immediately covered his mouth with your hands—kabedonning him against the wall.

an excruciating silence occured between you two in the silent hallway, Jungwon freezing to his core when your other hand shoot beside his head.

"listen i don't need your name, dear sir." you emphasise each word, you certainly don't need to know his name nor his status as a prince, not wanting to risk any possible connection with him judging by how he acted before you just now.

"b-but!" his words were muffled into the void as you cupped his mouth tighter.

"shh, shh. stop talking and listen, will you?!"

jungwon nodded slowly, what an odd situation he was in right now, he thought. but somehow he likes it.

"so first step, is go inside the ballroom. second, look for the lady in pink gown, and third—"

"t-third?"

"third is tell her your name! my best friend needs it more than i do!" you release him from your grasp as you went to swing open the huge double door, "now go!" waving a goodbye before kicking his body through the entrance, pulling the door back with your entire strength despite his protests.

oh of course, you finally let out a gag after suppressing it in front of him the entire time as you've never had a proper conversation with a male without stuttering, somewhat a sad tragedy for you, unfortunately. you felt quite guilty about your readers who swoon over the romances you wrote between your leads, weeping over how you're so good at it—not knowing you're a complete introvert with only a gigantic ass dictionary with you.

finally, the male lead and female lead's romances are about to start! you squealed with your hands clasping as you went on your way to the carriage, gesturing for the rider to embark on the way to your heavenly puffy manor with the widest big grin ever that it had him questioning you, "has any gentleman had caught your heart, milady? a couple of hours ago, you were often beyond distraught to attend the ball but insisted when you heard Lady Liz was going."

"oh, you silly." you giggled as you swayed your hand, "of course, that's one of the reasons. but there's another one.."

"may i ask what is it, then?"

you leaned in closer, urging him to get closer as you whispered. "i got the chance to become a Cupid!"

"a Cupid?" you squealed before the old man, hopping like a child for quite awhile before flying into the carriage much to his surprise, but only shook his head in amusement—appalled by how his mistress had changed so much.

"so?" you couldn't help yourself from pulling out the widest eccentric grin at the female lead, extremely curious and ecstatic over what romances had bloom between her and Jungwon.

Liz raises her eyebrow in confusion, "so?.. what do you mean, milady?"

you shrugged, falling back to your seat as you raise your eyebrow in a comical way, "that.." whispering ever so seductively, "prince."

"p-prince?

"yes!" the teacup rattles at your excitement oozing so much that you tapped the table a couple of times. "what happen? what's the tea~"

she lets out a soft giggle, a bit amused by your excitement. "i have no idea what you're trying to imply, milady."

"wait? what are you saying? didn't the prince went to you last night?"

Liz shook her head slowly, her expressions clearly stating that she absolutely don't know what and who you were talking about as a smile pulled up on her lips once again, taking a few sip from her teacup.

veins popped out from your neck as it dawned on you, your head snapped towards the castle on top of the mountain, you stupid of a prince! you cussed at him endlessly at the back of your mind, tightening your fist as your ears and nose fuming in anger. how dare he? he didn't listen to you at all? what in the actual fuck? would this somehow divert the original route? a dozen question arise into your mind one after another, causing you to let out an exaggerated sigh.

facepalming yourself as you imagined the imaginary heavenly light on top of you, weeping to yourself about how tremendously unlucky you are to have a hard headed male lead. it's impossible, you have never added a trait so irritating like this in his profile so how could this happen?

"milady?" the gentle voice of your precious female lead pulled you out of your inner desperation, you leaned in closer, whining so much over how unlucky you were and such, the rest only being in your mind as you pouted.

"ah, i remember now, the prince—"

"WHAT?—" you immediately seated yourself after giving her a potential heart attack, "my apologies, what did you actually.. remember?"

"i assume you were talking about the prince from yesterday? prince jake?"

"no not that bitch— oh certainly not him, ehem.." you took a couple of exaggerated coughs, avoiding her evident confusion. "isn't there a prince.. name jungwon with you that night?"

"oh my goodness! right! prince jungwon!" she shook her head in disbelief with her finger on her head.

right, how did you even forgot that the female lead in front of you had a "weak ass memory" in her profile description. tsk tsk, truly a forgetful author you are. you should be trying your best to remember the things you wrote before and revise it as best as you can, to avoid any possible problems in the future, atleast.

"right, how did i even forget, the prince asked me for your name, milady—"

"huh?" you look at her with confusion, as you were out of reality a couple of seconds ago. your orbs terribly widened as her words slowly sinking in to your brain. "HUH?"

ask your name?! why your name, why not hers?! what did the prince ate that night before stumbling onto your way that he had to ask for your name before the female lead—his own lover?!

laughing awkwardly, you raise your leg on top of another as you nervously swayed your hands repeatedly. "oh dear, oh dear. you might have heard it wrong, the prince?—" snorting outloud as you gestured to yourself, "asking for my name? what a funny news!"

"i didn't, milady. the prince came to me and asked me for your name, as he was immensely curious of who you are so i—"

"so what?—" you can't believe this, you really can't bring yourself to believe any words she was uttering. you should have been bestowed by the news that the prince had taken an interest in her, a hand in marriage, or anything, anything as long as you're out of the picture! "y-you didn't tell him my name, d-didn't you?"

"of course, i did!" exclaimed she did with the widest grin ever.

why are you so freaking happy over this?! clasping your head in your hands as you tragically fall on your knees causing the lady to gasp in shock, ushering to your side to get you up.

"milady?! what's wrong?"

"d-dear," you pouted as you look up to her, "you didn't tell him where my manor's at, r-right?"

she simply replied, "i did? the prince informed me that he's going to send a letter for you to be his partner to the ball."

an imaginary arrow struck back to your heart, forming a humongous hole that threatens to give you a panic attack. what? what in the actual fuck? did you accidentally did something to divert the original story you yourself created? but you didn't even do anything! you tried to do your best to keep the interaction with him as short as possible and he dared to take an interest in you?!

"milady, a letter from the royal palace had arrived for you."

"discard it. throw it. keep it away from my sight."

"milady?!" Liz and the head of the maid exclaimed in utter shock at your nonchalant answer.

"forget about it, forget about it." you clasped your forehead in utter disappointment, yet your brain were creating another plan b for this unexpected turn of events. what should you do? even more so, what would you do now that the prince had asked for you to be by his side to the ballroom?

this won't do, you won't let this happen—you had to look as unattractive and ugly as possible for him to cringe on and finally divert his attention back to the rightfully person who deserved it; the female lead.

your maids could only fall apart every single time you pluck out the enchanting gems they attached on your hair, ears and wrists. their efforts deemed futile as always as you had no mood for any sort of events, it was like a slap to their face as you initially weren't like this. you overheard them that they couldn't get used to how you were adamant in staying behind the spotlight as you often did your very best in dressing yourself up before, with the sole intention of gaining the favour of men and even more better, a prince.

of course, they are totally oblivious to your real identity. only a series of jaw gaping one after another with your change of character, at first—you had a dilemma over whether you should act like the character you created but you later scrap the idea as soon as the anxiety of being engulfed in the crowd suffocated your chest. opting to avoid as many as balls or public events as possible, but that obviously didn't work out that well since you heard of the female lead's arrival from the country side—just like you intended it to be.

and being the proud mother (writer) you are, of course why wouldn't you take one single look at her and see of how far she had came? but alas, one interaction leads to another one and so on—till finally, you became her best friend throughout her entire journey. waiting for the male lead's arrival, and watch their romances blooming and per se—but oh well, look at the situation you were in right now; total disaster.

you truly despise being in such an extravagant puffy gown and the numerous accessories hugging your skin, it's tremendously uncomfortable that you wanted to rip it off part in front of the prince standing before you right now, and right here.

asking for your hand to dance with that odd kittenish smile, that you swore you had never ever written in his personality profile; he should never have been this casual and chill over a person he had just met. he should've been cold as fuck, icy to touch, and a spiralling disaster if you dare to talk to him, so why?

plus how could he have taken an interest in you? you couldn't possibly have added a dose of the love at first sight trope, didn't you? you despised that trope to your very core.

"milady? may i?" he extended his hand before you, patiently waiting for your answer.

you had decided that you're going to reject him quick and efficient—just like the local fast food restaurant your mouth kept drooling over for, smashing a five star review for their inhuman speedy delivery.

"you see, prince jungwon. i have no desire to have a connection with you, a relationship, as a matter of fact."

he raised his eyebrow, seemingly unfazed by your bold words. "i'm curious milady, why so? have i done something that perhaps had annoyed you?"

cliché question, you loathe that. "what if i said you did?"

"then tell me, milady. i'll try my hardest to own up to you—" he took a steps forward, which causes you to immediately step back as well with a frown on your face. you can't, not in this life, to even give him a single chance to get close to you. nah uh.

"no need, and stay one meter apart, please." you pointed your index finger towards the floor and he hesitated, but complied immediately.

"i." you raise your index finger back to yourself and then at him, "don't like you. do you understand?"

"b-but?"

"stop questioning me, prince jungwon." you stayed firm in your spot, "i believe it's a common decency to step back when a lady had voiced out her opinion, a prince like you certainly would understand, am i right?"

Jungwon was clearly taken aback, the fact that you didn't give him a single chance to utter a word nor take a step closer was a hard punch to his face. It feels as if he was trying to reach for you, but you efficiently dodged it with ease. It kind of.. annoys him.

"base on how you didn't say anything anymore, i assumed we're done here! well then, goodbye prince jungwon." you turned your heels towards the entrance, not bothering to waste any time at this goddamn ball. "i hope this will be the very last." you scoffed inside your mind, eager for the story to return to it's original route, and that the prince would soon deem you useless and such—returning to the female lead's arms.

hm, now where's your precious female lead? she should've appeared right now and right here, strike the pot while it's hot!

"i'm afraid i can't back down that easily, milady." jungwon took a few steps forward, wrapping his hand round your wrist as he spun you around to face his eyes filled with blazing determination. one that you specifically added on top of his profile so that your readers would kept it in mind.

your breath hitched down your throat as you remembered there's only two reasons he could have this; one that reminds you when he was at war, shouting at the top of his voice to encourage his soldiers as they push through the enemies, and another reason of it appearing is when he have to get what he wanted, or else all hell will break loose, chaos will ensue.

right, you're truly an idiot. staying a few years in this novel without any memories, and only for it to surface back when you stumble upon the library—dozens of books flickering a series of eccentric images in your mind. It had cause you to lose all memories of important details, only emerging everytime you are presented with a situation you couldn't comprehend. such as when you forgot that the female lead had memory problems and such.

"i'll only present this choices to you, milady. since you tremendously intrigued me over how well spoken you were and fascinating indeed—" bitch, you don't even know how you had the sudden ability to confront him but you were just sure as hell that you don't want to ruin your own novel. no fucking way.

you can't let him have the upper hand on you.

"let me go." irritated to your core, you tried untangle Jungwon's tight grasp on your wrist but he won't budge even an inch which only had you fuming in anger. "i said let me go, bitch!"

the crowd emits a series of gasps and murmurs as you spun around—twisting the prince's arms which had him yelping in pain, and ultimately pinning him onto the ground. with rage consuming you that nothing was going in your way, you slammed your hands on the both side of his head. clenching your jaw and gritting your teeth as you emphasised each word. "you are one a dumb hell of a bitch, when i said i do not want to see you anymore. i mean it. so—"

"so what?" his smug look resurfaces, one that emerges whenever he was being challenged. yes, do that! he should despise you, not take an interest in you! he should loathe you so much that he can't even gaze at you for a second. excitement surged through your veins as you open your mouth, preparing for the last blow.

"so, get lost. just because you're a prince doesn't mean every girl would fall for you, idiot."

an even more louder gasp emits from the crowd as they clearly heard what you said, their jaw gaping and some covering their mouths with their hands as their mind are now bombarded with random questions over how exceedingly brave you are to insult the royal prince, and of what fate will you met now that you've done such an atrocious act.

a low giggle sent shivers down your spine, and goosebumps to riled over your neck as you realise the prince under you had the widest smirk on his face. you frowned deeply, he shouldn't be smirking! he should be fuming in anger and throwing you out of the palace at this moment. so why?!...

"oh milady, how truly fascinating you are." you let out a loud yelp when he grabbed both of your wrists, pulling you closer to his face—a dangerous close proximity against his fluttering eyelashes and lips that your breath caught up in your throat which causes your cheeks to heated up in embarrassment of what kind of position you two were in right now. "i like you, you would certainly be a perfect fit to be by my side."

"what?!" you exclaimed, jaws dropping and eyes about to pop out at his very words. "i don't want to be by your side—"

"a lady like you, i'm afraid to say, intrigues me very much..." Jungwon shots a kittenish wink right through your heart. "be my wife, milady. i'll show you how good I can be for you."

「 © talesofyuan on tumblr 2023 」 all rights reserved. do not copy or post without permission.

[unluckilyimnot]

Hiii!! I loooooveee your blog so much!! Every time I see your notifications, I get like SUPER HAPPY!! It really makes my day!! AND SOMEHOW I DIDN'T SEE THAT YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN?? Could you do the types of dates kurona, otoya, and karasu from bluelock would go to? ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Date with kurona, otoya, karasu, isagi, rin

m.list | rules

Note: Hiiiii omg your message make me so happy thank you sm 🤍 I hope it's what you expected

Kurona

He would loves outside date

Things like aquarium and parks, which is chill but you can still have fun and take great pictures

He changes his lockscreen all the time

He's kinda shy with pda but if you take his hand while walking around the aquarium he would love it a lot

He can stay a lot of time around jellyfish, the color it captivating

He can be loud around bigger animals like sharks or tortoises

Absolutely wants a matching keychain with both your favorite animals

He's most likely to play around if you're in places like parks so he would initiate contacts more

But he also like to take a plaid and lay down with you while toi read or just make fun about people around you

He would never be mean but likes to play along

Tag with along with some ice cream or a very fresh drink and you have a perfect date for him

Otoya

He tries to impress you even if you're already dating lmao

Would try to teach you how go skate

So you can fall into his arms or cling onto him

It's a good excuse to touch you outside

But he would really love to do it with you so he takes it seriously, don't worry

He would feel bad if you get hurt tho

He wouldn't say it out loud but you notice how super serious he'd become

He has a good sense of style so he would like to go shopping as well !

Window shopping is something he really likes

Add a coffee to the equation and he's the happiest!

Really to hear you talk about style and how you could style a piece with what you already have

Karasu

On the other hand, karasu knows he has nothing to prove

So he'll be chill about date

Don't get it wrong: he will plain it on every part and regularly (if not all the time)

And he wants to win your heart over and over again

But he also know that you love him and that staying inside with a movie only is enough

Yet he prefers to make it better like baking while watching a Disney movie!

Bonus point if you make something from the movie

Or while watching an old sitcom

Be prepared to have flour on your nose and for him to kiss it away

Rin

Football date, tell me he wouldn't

He takes you with him to see the matches of his favorite team

Or just with a pizza (for once) at home

He probably prefers date at home in fact

Even if he's not against it if you want so to something outside

Horror movie marathon

This is a routine, you have one every week, that's his cheating moment of the week

He stays up late, eat junk-food with you and don't get up early next morning

He loves it so much to be honest

His arm is around you all the time, pulling you against him if you're scared

He can also hide his face in your hair if needed

Bonus point if you fell asleep in his arms

Isagi

He would love taking a walk around the town and go see museum or important location

Like he read something about a place and he wanted to go check with you !

If you like historical places as well he's in heaven

I swear he falls in love again I'd you know some things and tell him as a cute funfair about the place

The type to find cute coffee shop that are not crown or trending

So be prepared ! He wants to try them all

And if you're a coffee or tea lover he simply needs to hear how you feel about it

His insta feed is mostly you on date and some pictures of the place (along with football)

I hope you liked it !

[shentheauthor]

These are not cringe at all! But uh... headcanons on what would make the Harbingers laugh? 👀

Ty ty lol… I have a habit of thinking x reader requests are cringe even tho I like writing them sometimes

Anyway, harbingers laughing hours!

Pierro:

This man knows no joy, only pain /j

Fr tho, I think he would laugh at the harbingers doing insane shit

On the rare occasion when he isn’t completely done with their shit

One time Pierro snorted at Childe getting a glass of wine thrown at him, and nobody believed him when he tried to tell them

Usually this man is a stone wall of unflinching apathy in the face of humor tho

Capitano:

Hear me out— dirty jokes

This man is a soldier. He may be a very serious person, but he will chuckle at a dirty joke. Any group of people in close quarters will start making horrible dirty jokes

One time he giggled at a cucumber bc it reminded him of something a trainee said when they thought he wasn’t listening

I won’t go further bc this is a sfw blog, but you get the idea

Dottore:

If you’ve read the webtoon, you know this man will literally just giggle spontaneously

At absolutely nothing

He will laugh at other people in pain too

An assistant fell down the stairs, and he just laughed for ten minutes instead of helping

Yes this does include the older dottores

They all have the same sense of humor

He also finds Scaramouche’s insults hilarious

Hehehohoaha man

Columbina:

Honestly she would laugh more at people attempting to tell jokes than the joke itself

She finds it amusing that people find it funny

Like if Dottore is laughing at Childe, she will laugh at Dottore

It’s impossible to get her to do anything more than a soft giggle or a chuckle, tho

Don’t even try, it won’t happen /hj

Arlecchino:

Step 1 to get her to laugh: be Childe

Step 2: get hurt

Step 3: profit

She’s another one who laughs at the pain of others

If she isn’t rolling her eyes

She finds complaining annoying, but she will absolutely laugh when bones break and recruits cry

These people are all horrible people lmfao

Pulcinella:

Finally, someone wholesome

He will laugh at kids getting up to shenanigans

So like, Childe’s siblings putting on a little kid show

He will laugh and clap along

Me inserting my papanella hcs into everything I do lmfao

Basically this man likes kids, so he finds their silly shenanigans funny

Scaramouche:

Another who likes the pain and suffering of others

Especially if the others are yae, Dottore, and ei

His voice line about Kazuha is just him losing it over that man blocking Ei’s sword

He also finds mortals in general amusing

As long as they don’t bother him

He’ll laugh at someone offering him food, like a jackass

Evil little man. Absolutely horrible (affectionate)

Sandrone:

A genuine laugh is hard to get out of her

She’ll chuckle if someone has the balls to touch one of her dolls

And then she’ll kill that person

Very bold of that person to assume she would be ok with that

Basically she laughs at the sheer audacity of people

Signora:

Another one that’s hard to get to laugh

But she will give an amused “hm” if one of her subordinates is confused or upset

Like Childe lmao

She thinks him being angry is hilarious

Also, if venti ever gets hurt, and she finds out, she will cackle

The only time she will ever belly laugh lmao

Pantalone:

Most of his laughter is fake

But the jokes he actually does like are, shockingly, ones with puns

You can’t tell me he doesn’t enjoy wordplay

Also he tends to laugh with other people. You know how some people have contagious laughs? Pantalone catches laughter like it’s a disease

So basically, if someone else is laughing, you bet he’s holding back giggles behind that smile

This is especially bad if it’s someone like Dottore or Tartaglia

He will cry laugh if they’re having a fun time

Also dark humor

Tartaglia:

Dirty jokes, puns, physical comedy

Dark jokes too

He makes REALLY dark jokes, and will laugh at them himself

The kinds of dark jokes that make people suggest you go to therapy

It’s his way of coping

He isn’t actually a sadist, contrary to popular belief, but he sure will laugh at his coworkers in pain

Unless it’s the top 3 harbingers

He prays for the day Signora trips or even bumps into a table so he can lose his absolute mind

He’s also similar to pulcinella, finding kids amusing

He also laughs during battle. It’s kinda terrifying Kskgkbkdkgkelvkkegm

[strugglingatart]

Jr Year ep4

This is me live blogging bc I need to get thoughts out also would love fandom friends full spoilers bellow the cut just so no one accidentally reads anything they don’t want to this will be long

I have wanted most if not all of Zac's and Murph's shirts this season

I still have issues with the multiclass system but also no school thing has made the most sense in universe

I believe you and that's why I'm not saying anything is SUCH a trouble friend mood

"what's the drinking age?" "you have murdered SO many people"

BRENANS FACE WHEN KALINA SAYS I'M NOT BAD ANYMORE OH LORDS

the whole Kalina/Cassandra/Kristen scene is so nerve wrecking and interesting and once again I can talk so much about this topic and I know I have critized Kristen's approach but that's bc honestly I do have issue w it despite understanding it but it does make for an interesting arc and with this conversation it does seem like she believes in this domain of faith on the unknown. I will at some point talk more about from the point of someone who also left a culty religious thing but was still expected to perform similarly once out of it but my thoughts are still not the most organized

that being said I do not trust kalina and i do love cassandra

when you're in the dark I'm there holding your hand why am i crying

not kvx still being a thing lmao so Brennan

oh I just love how complicated but absolutely Bill Seacaster is the whole trust thing, the money going to the nemesees, there being a whole department, honestly that's a department I'd work for it's basically spy and gossip stuff

but also poor Fabian having to go through all this head ache stuff alone

watch Caperslolly Cattlekrush not be a direct nemesis but someone from her party be yes Fabian get that service!

I too keep thinking it is rat ccrushers no t grinders and will absolutely get it wrong

the gorthlax art is PERFECT

my school nurse did not have sweat pants but ok murph(i also absolutely am not from the us idk why i keep pointing out diferences)

they each will have a foil in my head so why just one owlbear contender? also is riz in the bloodrush team?

grinding for xp is so much weirder and terrible imo in this context also should be less effective bc like lbr experience is important like thinking on your feet etc like yes they are probably equal level and Brenan will play them well but they should absolutely not be as good as the bad kids at actual adventuring

I love how they all are so agro tho bc I get it and love the energy and I would absolutely be that mad

YES SOMEONE CALLED OUT THE HIPOCRISY

xp isn't bad if you at least still DO INTERESTING STUFF TO GET IT

if brenan makes them like grinding i will become as agro as the bad kids so far lol

gorthlax gave great advice, that being said i do hope they get a lil bit petty and end annoying grinders

nooo Gorgug (cries) I really want him to do well

listen I am so emo about gorgu's storyline like it's just no thoughts just feels and all of them

listen i don't do character builds but it does not sound to me like artificer and barbarian are THAT ill fitted, like yes the require different focus levels and types but they are also USED in different moments, nothing is stopping Gorgug from using his down time to come up with gadgets that work WITH his strenght and dex and rage and then use reckless abandon in battles. I think even th solar lasso is very much an example of that because it uses his strenghts, he's realing it in with atheltics checks iirc or how his shoes have jump like yes absolutely a challenge and not the most obvious but people are acting like it's impossible when it absolutely isn't

we love Corsica Jones

Riz helping Kristen <3

Brenan is absolutely having so much fun with Ayada's messages

Listen Fig does not need to go to warlock classes, no one in the school knows she is a warlock just do bard and barbarian and help your friend

also i get that procrastination girl

Please I want Fig and Gorgug to work on a song together and for us to get that scene so bad

Aelwynn is a whole entire mood

well that answers me: riz is not on bloodrush

I KNEW BRENNAN MADE THEM STUPID RATS TOO GOOD I HATE IT BUT I LOVE IT

wouldn't detect magic tell riz what enhancements she has? cause otherwise it's nnot THAT useful for spies (which is reason #1 the gadget exists)

oh brennan REALLY made people we will all hate

Yes Bucky I adore him

someone please go home with Fabian

ohhh Brennan put extra stakes at Fig just quitting/failling auegfort since she technically doesn't need it

oh warlock classes are night classes, kinda love that for Fig and also good for her being good at it

also looove the talk about exchanges and that

FIg could make an album out of pressure and expextations that woul be rad as hell

RAGH we love him

LISTEN Ragh should be like party guy, he was absolutely popular and is older and it takes stuff away from the bad kids to do

oh Fabian goes into it immediately we stan

Listen Ally is MASTER of weird ass energies and I love them for it

they truly are such dorks and somehow cool at the same time

I cannot tell if they don't know milkyriver's name or if they are benedict cumberbunching it and I love that

literally everything kalina says is so threatening

also the bad kids should count as followers of cassandra like they are not clerics sure but they ablsolutely belive in her... do only clerics/paladins count?

LISTEN BRENNAN WE DON'T NEED MORE PROBLEMS

oh the shard and red thing that was in one of the arts

oh I REALLY thought they were gonna split party this

I do hope the party still goes well

[hookerfoxyanon]

Finally, an intro post!

Okay, it's been forever of me doing absolutely nothing so here we go making an actual intro post today

This is a sideblog for @dsaf-confessions, I am the anon known as, you guessed it, hooker foxy anon!

I'm deciding to make a shift in what I do with this blog, including in character asks with my anonsona, posting art, interacting more with the other anon blogs, and all that good shit. More on that later, though. My main blog is @an0nthecat, consider checking that out if ya wanna see art or just hear me yap more

Some basic information about me:

The names that I use online are literally Anon/Anonymous. It might get confusing I know but it's how I've been referred to for years I can't really do anything about it anymore HAHAHAH just call me that if you can

I am a MINOR. I am in my early teens. Please do NOT make any sexual comments about me. (Note, I said ME.)

I am also aroace, and non-binary. I use they/them pronouns.

I am currently hyperfixated on DSaF, FNaF and Goldie's Inferno (a FNaF AU made by the amazing bunnycat, that was sadly discontinued recently.)

The other fandoms that I am in include Spooky Month, ENA, and OMORI.

I am a furry.

I swear like a fuckin sailor, sorry if y'all don't like that I really don't care just don't interact with me or something lmao

I can be kinda meanspirited just know that most of it is lighthearted tho

Okay onto the fun stuff: My anonsona, their lore and the in character asks and confessions and stuff

This is my anonsona:

They have some fun anon lore! Most of their basic info is identical to mine so I'm not gonna bother so let's just type out the lore:

Their arc follows the DSaF 2 Fairly Evil ending, almost immediately after biting Peter they gained sentience and were super fucking confused. Their first thought was "Damn these things on my feet hurt" so they ripped off those high heels and followed Dave and Jack out of the restaurant and hitched a ride to Vegas in the trunk of their car.

They pried themselves out of it when they reached the Vegas strip and spent their first month of sentience getting fucking wasted (despite them being an animatronic... Don't ask) and terrorizing a bunch of drunk people.

They literally have next to zero interactions with any DSaF characters from this point on, they legit just chill in Vegas for the entirety of their lifetime.

They renamed themselves from Nightmare Foxy to Hooker Foxy for the shits and giggles and live in a dumpster behind a bar. They get barfed on a lot.

Their clothes were acquired by beating up random ass people on the street.

Okay now that that's taken care of... let's talk about asks and the future of this blog.

I kinda wanna start answering asks as Hooker Foxy I just thought it'd be fun yk yk yarhhh

If you have any asks for me, the person running this blog, please refer to me as Anon in the ask.

If you have asks for Hooker Foxy, my anonsona, refer to them as Hooker Foxy.

Simple shit.

Most of the answers to asks for Hooker Foxy will be accompanied by lazy and probably uncolored doodles

Tags for these will be #oochookerfoxyanswers for my asks and #hookerfoxyanswers for anonsona asks

Uhh other tags stay the same, #hookerfoxyreblogs and #hookerfoxyart mean the exact same thing as before

I might post more art and just talk in general more on here and stuff but yeah that's about it

Sorry for the long intro guys, I swear, I don't usually type this much 💔

[bikefuckersoftheworldunite]

tagged by @splitstuura thanks:)

the last song i listened to: one thing about me is that I’m not very good at keeping up with latest releases (recent as in from the last 5 years or so lmao). also I might be posting spotify links but I don’t actually use it - I still download music on my old iphone and use it as an mp3 player:))

the last movie i watched: velvet goldmine (1998) rewatched it for nth time with my friends over discord. I’ll never get tired of it! and you don’t need to be a 70s glam rock aficionado to love it!! so go watch it if you haven’t:)) but it’s even more fun when you know that in some way it is thinly veiled david bowie/iggy pop rpf….which is why they were prohibited from using bowie songs in the movie and most of it’s absolute killer ost is carried by roxy music (a vastly superior glam rock outfit anyway)…..

<- saw it over a month ago tho. I fell off with watching movies so so bad. and I love movies……🥲

sweet/savory/spicy: SWEEET. I have a huge sweet tooth. I mostly eat stuff I’ve baked myself these days. but it’s easy things like muffins which are quick to make, nothing really fancy. ok, I baked a cheesecake last week but that’s pretty easy if you don’t do the whole complicated waterbath nonsense (there’s an easier way around it). obviously I also like savory and spicy food (who doesn’t?). I’m always told I really overseason my cooking but I don’t think it’s true……

relationship status: 😐

current obsessions: motogp is a big one, that’s why I made this blog in the first place and started posting on tumblr again…….

tagging @verdemint and anyone else who wants to dot it!

[miya-twins]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let's spread the self-love 💞

ngl first thing I did was check if I even have 5 hq fics but I sure do have a bunch asdfghjkl tho most of them aren't complete lmao (not gonna rec my op/other fandom fics on this blog, but if I had to pick an absolute fav fic of mine, it'd be A Light To Guide You Home)

anyway! haikyuu fics! ones I'm proud of!

All It Takes Is A Name

Miya twins platonic soulmate AU with transfem Osamu, ~8.5k, complete.

Atsumu's name is written on Osamu's palm the moment their mother speaks it for the first time, but the same isn't true in reverse. As the twins grow up, they're left to puzzle over why their unbreakable twin soulbond is seemingly incomplete. It doesn't occur to them that their mom could've gotten Osamu's name wrong. Not for a long time, anyway.

8 Minutes, 8 Seconds, 8 Years

Miyacest, seemingly unrequited love, ~36k, complete.

The Miya twins are as close as can be, their entire lives. Nothing could break their bond. Until Atsumu discovers he loves his brother a little too much, and everything threatens to fall apart.

A Dream Come True

MiyaSaku, mostly pwp, ~14k, complete.

Sakusa Kiyoomi has high standards when it comes to his sexual partners, which has unfortunately left him with zero options over the past year. Thankfully, Motoya's boyfriend Suna knows just the right person to give Kiyoomi exactly what he needs. Or rather, he knows the right set of twins.

A Mask To Show The True Self

SakuAtsu, omegaverse, twin identity switching shenanigans, ~7k, incomplete, will likely get long...

Atsumu doesn't mind being an omega, he truly doesn't. He only has one singular problem with it: Omegas aren't allowed to play volleyball professionally. But as luck has it, his beta twin doesn't want to play professionally anyway. The solution is obvious, and easier to pull off than they expect. As far as Atsumu is concerned, nobody ever needs to know he's an omega. That is, until one tall, dark, and handsome alpha joins his team.

Prime

Atsumu harem, omegaverse, prime alpha Atsumu, pwp but there is plot actually, ~12k, incomplete.

It was meant to be a simple trip for practice matches, but it turned into an unforgettable night when Atsumu presented overnight. As a prime alpha, no less.

Aaaaaaand that's 5! thanks so much for sending the ask, maz <3

[missmiseryguts]

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ 𝐼𝑁𝑇𝑅𝑂𝐷𝑈𝐶𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁 𝑃𝑂𝑆𝑇 ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Hello! A bit late to this, but hi! Greetings and salutations! Call me Eve, or really anything you'd like. I go by many names, what's a few more?

I am a young artist, I don't post my art often due to never finishing it, but I also sort of post about my thoughts! Interests, anything of the sort. We're all mad here, so stop by and join the fun!

*♡∞｡ 𝐹𝐴𝑁𝐷𝑂𝑀𝑆 ｡∞♡*

• A Hat In Time

• Undertale (Including aus!)

• Vocaloid

• Riddle School

• Starkid Musicals

Lightning round!!! Project sekai, FNAF, all game theory channels, horror games, analogue horror, draw a stick man epic 2 (love that game so much if you don't know it pls get it it's free and so good) , and BFDI! And other object shows too!

This will include my hobbies too so... I roleplay, I sing, I make essays (or try to) on the most random subjects, and I read! I also write fanfiction!

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ 𝐺𝐸𝑇 𝑇𝑂 𝐾𝑁𝑂𝑊 𝑀𝐸! ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

I do drama, media and art in my school! My main subjects, and in my schools drama club.

I'm a professional tea drinker 🇬🇧 ☕

I like to write stories, too! These are mostly fanfictions of my fandoms, and typically wacky goofy silly crossovers! :3

My favorite music artists are: Lydia the Bard, RIProducer, JT Music, Jann, and Maretu! There's a lot more of course, but I can't remember them. Had to strain my 2 brain cells for those 5 alone 💀

I often make commitments and then never finish them. For example, my massive fan fiction I spent 10 months planning is rotting in my notebook pleading for release. update tho I've actually started working more on it on a Google doc... 16 pages so far and that's just world building!

I love angst, any story or roleplay I do has to have some kind of angst. If I ever write a happy wholesome story, I have been replaced by an alternate.

Any other match fans please be my friend there's like 4 of us from what I've seen /j

MUSTACHE GIRL. DID NOTHING WRONG.

Other blogs and social media under the cut!

*＊✿❀ 𝑀𝑌 𝑂𝑇𝐻𝐸𝑅 𝐵��𝑂𝐺𝑆 ❀✿＊*

Running out of decorations for the text. Anyways! I only have one other blog I upload to regularly </3

@askfreesmart ! Fan of BFDI? Fan of Freesmart? Ask the girls some questions! Or give them things, interact (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE) and ignore how my upload schedule is absolutely abhorrent!

@thematchstickever ! This is a blog made for fun about my favorite bfdi character, Match!! Also a way for me to just randomly play as her lmao, it's fun xx. . . I've also just made her suffer.

I guess for other socials my discord is .istoledreamisland! let's see how long that lasts before I regret saying it

That's all! I don't really do introduction posts often, so this is just a silly get to know me post for fun because it's almost 11pm please god spare me

Send me silly asks!! Pls!!! I love them!! Also if you wanna!! Be my friend!!!! Add my discord!!!!!

Have fun! :D

[rbvcdeluxe]

pinned post bc yeag

So, my name is Robert Bartolomeo but I have like, some nicknames ofc, I ain't tellin' 'em here rn. I go by he/him, I'm Mexican, transgender and I'm autistic with ADHD n OCD (send help). This is mainly a Starkid blog, some TCB and with the occasional mention of some other interests which are tbh quite some

If anyone wants to talk with me, feel absolutely free to do it. I would like to add that as normal as my typing seems when I post, I actually have terrible spelling n ton of typos when textin directly through DM or textin in general, even tho I still kinda try to be lowkey understandable (I cannot fuckin understand myself)

Feel free to send asks about anything, either if it's jus for interaction or questions, I'm totally fine w it n I love talkin so yeah. Even if we are not mutuals, you can totally send asks.

Anyone can ask for discord by DMing me btw

(more under the cut)

I'd call myself not so social (almost at all) but I do really, really appreciate when people wanna talk to me since socializing is a huge problem for me, so yup, everyone is welcome to interact with me.

Some of my interests are: Splatoon, The Good Place, Musical comedians (As in musical stand up and some comedy artists), some other musicals like Beetlejuice, Heathers, Jesus Christ Superstar and others. I'm also DEEPLY obsessed with Van Gogh, his paintings, his history and even other artists he was connected to like Paul Gauguin (who I fuckin' hate but I like learnin' 'bout him)

Going more deeply with my interest on musical comedians (since it's actually a pretty big term lmao), most of my interest goes to stand up musical comedians, those who are still on stage and off, like Bo Burnham, Tim Minchin, Tom Lehrer, Garfunkel and Oates, etc. But most of my interest goes to Bo Burnham and Tim Minchin, I can't physically be normal about them at all. I'm also in love with other works besides comedy some of them make or have been involved in, like movies and other projects. I LOVE Eighth Grade, Upright, Zach Stone Is Gonna Be Famous, and many others.

Also i think it would b silly to mention that my username are just the initials of my full name + deluxe. I just like the word deluxe so I put it there tbh (and it's also a reference but shhhh you saw nothing)

Imma write some silly fun facts about me n shit now.

Back to Starkid: My two ever fuckin' favorite starkid musicals will always be Black Friday and TTO. I will defend those fuckers until the day I die ALONG with Cinderella's Castle. I cannot be normal about any of these shows. No one will ever fuckin understand BF as much as I do

I also love writing little simple analysis of some characters and even scenes I love, even if most of them I do not end up posting bc I either didn't like how I phrased it or I just think it could be way better (or maybe it's just too stupid). Something I find fun to overanalyze are the most unimportant shit to the lore in general, I like to think about the specifics of even one singular character, even if it doesn't change much about the lore of Hatchetfield as in general. I love every single little detail there is. (and by little I mean LITTLE. like, hey, did you know that during Feast Or Famine, Tom does the ‘Squee squee’ motion like this emoji🤌?? THAT KIND OF LITTLE DETAIL I MEAN.)

Yeah so like. As I mentioned this is a SK blog but I also like to fuckin complain a lot. about everything. Im a damn complaining bitch and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Either if it's fandom related or just every day shit, I will always fuckin complain.

More stupid shit. For some fucking reason (many (almost my whole life)) I fuckin relate to Barry fucking Swift (Barry is literally. like one of my few nicknames. It's insane) n. yeag. I'm not even surprised.

Oh and just thought I's mention. I know im a fuckin asshole n a jerk I dont need fuckin reminders about it. thank yewwww C:

[olderthannetfic]

lmao not criptochecca speaking out about ao3 and thinking he's coming up with an oven-hot take! last fucking year they were writing a thousand posts a day about how ukraine had been the one to start the war and putin was just defending his motherland and all the people saying that the slaughter of ukranians was horrible and cruel were all evil right wingers possessed by the demon of capitalism and western ideology.

his entire blog is nothing but a series of rants that barely make sense but are seasoned with the right amount of big boy words that make other online activists salivate because they recognized the word "labour" and "marxist" even if the sentences themselves are utter nonsense.

notice how in the comments he's fighting for his life because someone actually asked him an intelligent question about how ao3 is stealing from its creators, and he immediately went for "it was a joke i'm just trolling" despite the absolute seriousness of his other responses.

what a sore ass loser. i wonder what putin's dick tastes like tho. i hope for him that it's delicious, because if it weren't... oof, buddy really got a shit deal.

--

[blackberry-gingham]

Give me your favourite blorbos and favourite headcanon for them

Is this a Christmas present for me anon? Bc if it is, I love it and thank you 😚💖😭😭

I have a lot of characters I like, but as far as absolute faves rn, here's Gambit and Nightcrawler :) thank you so much for this generous ask and enjoy!

Gambit

Gambit's father tried to send Remy to receive formal education as a kid, but Gambit wasn't very cooperative about it (like, at all) and so he never finished

You would hardly know this though, as Gambit is not only, of course, able to read and write perfectly- but he is also bilingual (English and French), can write in cursive, and can read Roman numerals

Gambit grew up Catholic in comic canon, but as an adult he now carries and proclaims himself as atheist (this is also canon, I believe) however, in his heart of hearts, he's really more agnostic

Sometimes in dark hours, he will pray the rosary to soothe himself. That and, very rarely, he can sometimes be found sitting in the local chapel- just to think, he says

Also in comic canon, Gambit dreams of having a family and wants to be a dad one day- as for the headcannon, he'll never say a preference aloud, but secretly he hopes to have mostly girls

He has learned to braid and tie those big, glittery hair bows in preparation for this, but he would die before letting on about either of those skills

This is canon as far as the cartoon is concerned, but just for the record I hc that not only is Gambit indeed a really great cook, but it is also secretly one of his hobbies

Here's something interesting- in comic canon Gambit has his powers surgically reduced by Mr sinister so that he can better control them. For the hc, I believe this is where their red color comes from, but when he was at full power, his eyes were purple

Free fun fact! But this is how you can tell if the gambit I'm writing or drawing is at his full, godly power or not- I intentionally depict him with either color to suit my story/imagination

This might be actually controversial to some, but I am in this category of women myself, so do not fear: Gambit secretly is very (VERY) into curvy women, especially after having grown up in the south (he's a hips and thighs guy, if you're curious)

However, and this is the controversial part, he's one of Those Guys™ that feels ashamed of attraction, so he will very rarely pursue or even entertain them if anyone he knows is watching

If he thinks he can get away with it privately tho- he most definitely will go for it

In a world where he either doesn't end up with rogue or something tho, this weird embarrassment thing goes away entirely as he gets a little older and more emotionally mature

For my followers: this reservation does not exist at all in regards to dad bod Gambit. He proudly enjoys great food AND fine ass women- no holds barred

Gambit's love language is quality time, his myer briggs is ESTP, his sign is Leo, he's about 6'4 (I like to imagine him a little extra tall), and if you see me write/draw him with a dad bod he's at least about 34 years old

Nightcrawler

Nightcrawler cannot swim, at least- not formally

This has nothing to do with physical ability, but rather that he just never learned, mostly bc he has/had no need

He's never had any formal education either, and only learned to read and write at the monastery in his early 20s

This also means he barely spoke English until meeting the professor- now, he's fully fluent tho

I feel that some people are going to act like this is controversial, even tho it shouldn't be lmao- but I hc that Kurt is a virgin

I don't care what the comics say/imply or how old he is: on this blog he takes his faith very seriously and is waiting for marriage

While he grew up staunchly Catholic, as he has gotten older and had more opportunities to study religion on his own, he later converted to Christianity

On the subject of older Nightcrawler- as he ages, certain attributes of his mutation become more pronounced: his fur grows to a thicker, almost woolly texture, his top fangs are longer and protrude from his lip, and he gains slightly keener senses more akin to Wolverine's

On that note- Kurt's hair is naturally curly (although he does nothing to care for it) so once his fur starts growing thicker, this is where it gains it's interesting sherpa like quality instead of just the short, velvet like fuzz he's known for

While his human disguise changes all the time from comic to comic, I like to headcannon that Kurt's disguise is just his natural face and hair, but with human colors- obviously

I toyed with the idea that his human hair would be red/ginger like mother mystique, but ultimately I hc it to be a very light blonde and his eyes are honey brown

On virtue of being an extremely thin man, Kurt ALSO is strongly attracted to full figured women- unlike Gambit tho, at no point in his life does this attraction bother him nor impede his romantic pursuits

Kurt's love language is physical touch, his myer briggs is INFP, his sign is Cancer, and if you see me draw/write him with a dad bod he's probably about 38 years old