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bittersweetimaginings · 10 months

Note

Request for an Alex fic!

I've always wanted to see some heavy whump put on this character-

Maybe a sick fic?

Or just a senerio where he is hurt/exhausted/thirsty/hungry etc.

She/Her

Tired • Alex DeLarge

⚠️Content warning: Implied & mentions of t0xic relationship dynamics, ch3ating, Alex being an asshole (as always), mentions and mild descriptions of injuries, description of (consensual) s3x and cursing (yes, theres SMUT in this one).

*These characters do not belong to me, all rights to their respective owners, this is just a piece of entertainment by and for fans.

Summary: After one of his outings with his droogs, Alex finds himself being injured. As his long-time girlfriend you feel the urge to take care of him.

Reader’s pronouns: She/Her

Keys: Y/N = Your Name. Nadsat glossary.

Author’s notes: If you want to send your own request, please check the Disclaimers & Rules post and the MASTERLIST post to see more content and which characters are available.

This is somewhat of a continuation to this fic: “in the aftermath” or at least I wrote it with the same MC in mind! However, this time she is less submissive and has grown to be a bit more confrontational with Alex and his shit! But is not necessary to read the first one, this can be enjoyed as a standalone if you want!

I'm not here to judge why you are consuming this type of content (I'm the one doing the writing after all) I know from personal experience that this type of content (as weird as it sounds to some of you) might be used as a coping mechanism to a similar situation some of us might've experience or are currently experiencing irl; but just in case, I want to encourage you to reach for help, so please, if you're going through a tough time or experiencing some kind of violence, here are some resources that I was able to find and might be of help, please stay safe everyone:

List of countries and their helplines for d0m3stic abus3, s3xual as5ault and other resources.

List of other resources for immediate help.

List of countries and their respective helplines for su1cid3 prevention/crisis.

Consider donating to my Ko-fi!

"He's been in there all week! Barely eats, barely goes out...I might knock the door down and put an end to this worry!"

You hear Alex's mom tone through the phone slowly rising making her concerns quite apparent.

“I don’t think that’s necessary, I’m sure he’s fine, Ms.-”

“Y/N dear, wouldn’t it be possible for you to come by the house this mornin’?”

A slight pause is settled as you ponder her request. Truth be told, you haven’t talked with Alex much as of lately, the reason being you two breaking up (again) over him continuously flirting with another woman (again) and since you were already used to such behavior it wasn’t really the flirting that set you off (having Alex as your boyfriend had made you grown desensitized to many things), it was more the time and place that angered you, and though you knew you’ll get back together eventually, you had grown quite comfortable as a single woman, it was like allowing yourself a breather and would like to stay that way at least for a little bit longer...

“I don’t think-…"

“Please, dear...I- I noticed you and Alex haven’t talked much but maybe is time to patch things up?”

You fall silent. The lady on the other end of the line has always been kind and warm to you even when her kid really wasn’t. Though perceptive she’s unaware about the true nature of your relationship with her son, only knowing the brighter side of the whole ordeal, it’s natural that she asks for your help, believing you to be a positive influence in Alex’s chaotic life.

“Y/N?”

She asks; the undeniable worry dripping in her voice tugging at the heartstrings of your own weak and sensible heart, you comprehend her pain and to be quite honest...you had been worried too...after all it is hard to break old habits...

“I’ll be there as soon as I’m finished with school”

You announce with a heavy sigh, hoping you won’t regret it.

“Thank you dear! I appreciate it!”

[…]

The door to Alex’s home is right in front of you, the apartment is unusually quiet even knowing that his parents are most likely at work at this hour; you open the door with the spare key Alex gave you long ago and enter, his room it’s right down the hall of the apartment and before you knock there’s a slight hesitation as you wonder if this is really the best choice...maybe you can still turn back.

You measure your options and become unaware of the movement in the rotary combination lock and only come back to reality as the door suddenly springs open.

You haven’t seen his blue eyes in a couple of weeks, maybe that’s why you freeze in place as his surprised gaze meets yours, his brows narrow in confusion but soon a smirk on his face appears.

“Well, well! Hi, hi, hi there! ‘Been a long time, innit?”

He seemingly mocks you and visibly sizes you up with his eyes as he leans his body in the doorframe; it takes you a couple of blinks to get out of your trance and when you do you can’t help but feel angered at his smug attitude; you didn’t expect an apology, it’s been a long time since those stopped coming for every time he cheated. In fact, you don’t know what you expected...but definitely something better than this, your brows furrow and take a quick glance at him only to notice the state he’s in: bruises, most of them in the left side of his body, part of his chest on that side even seems quite swollen and some small superficial cuts on his right cheek.

“Something wrong?” he asks dryly

“You look like trash” the words come out of your mouth, hoping to hurt him even if just a bit, but instead he scoffs while leaning this time in your direction, his gaze looking for yours as he closes the distance.

“My, really?” his voice drops in to a suggestive but slightly threatening tone, mocking smile never leaving him.

The closeness of it all making you realize the man in front of you has been half naked from the beginning if only for a pair of underwear to cover him.

As you roll your eyes and aggressively walk into his room you hope your cheeks aren’t flushed in case, he decides to tease you any further. As you enter you notice the messy state of the room which strikes you as odd since you know Alex usually tries to very careful when it comes to it but you figured he might’ve just thrown a tantrum recently. Then you see Basil sitting calmly in his usual spot by the poster of a naked woman, you immediately approach it.

“Oh, hi there!” your baby voice coming through as you pet the top of the snake’s head.

You hear him walk and feel him right behind you, his chin eventually touches the top of your head, his arms wrap around your body just right below your breasts and although you’re still mad you don’t make any attempts to remove him.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of viddying* you here?”

“Your mom called; said you wasn’t coming out of your room like some pathetic hermit. Figured it was serious if there was no record of you and the boys in the last few days”

“Were you worried then?”

“No” Yes, you were but won’t admit it so easily, he scoffs once more, he can see through you and as he holds you tighter, he bows his head just slightly to kiss your temple.

“Then...why is that you’re here? More than welcomed to ignore her, are you not?” Whispers in your ear and you only try to calm the goosebumps by focusing your attention ever harder on the reptile in front of you. You hear him laugh lowly at your reaction.

“My kisa*, you’re not being quite honest...” His declaration carries on with his mouth now traveling down your neck peppering small kisses. You hate how quick the urge of being all over him invades you, turning around quickly you reach to kiss him but as your hands rest on his chest for support he suddenly winces in pain and pushes you away.

“bloddy cal*!” he mumbles as he tries to soothe his pain by covering the affected area with his hand, though startled by his sudden action you take the time to examine what exactly is wrong. Walking towards him you place your hand over the one he holds defensibly, subtly asking him to lower it to which he complies.

Your hand explores the swollen side of his chest gently, it takes you a couple of minutes to realize the reason he is in pain:

“Jesus, Alex your rib is fucking broken!” his brows furrow once more in an annoyed expression as he hears you exclaim.

“Quite the sharp one are you, eh?” sarcasm present in his voice, maybe a bit bothered you didn’t notice it sooner.

The thought of asking “what happened?” crosses your mind, but seeing the state the room is in, you pick up on the fact that it might be a sore topic for him and you don’t want him throwing another tantrum as he might injure himself further; instead, you scoff at him in a mildly angered expression.

“Lay down, let’s treat it before it gets worse or Mr Deltoid finds out and questions you about it” you command and are satisfied with how quick he obeys at the mention of Mr Deltoid.

[...]

You surprise yourself with how many times you have helped Alex with his injuries it’s almost second nature to you at this point and though you pride yourself in your impeccable first-aid abilities you can’t help but see just how sad this really must be.

Alex lays on his bed, eyes closed and wearing a pained expression that you know comes from the sensation of cold he feels through the bandages you had applied in his chest moments before; you hold a frozen bag of peas covered with a random woman’s blouse you found lying in his bedroom and take note it is not one that belongs to you and most certainly not his mother...

“careful” he warns as he feels the pressure shifting; out of spite you disobey him and apply more pressure, making him wince once more.

“Ah! What you think you’re even doin’?!?!” in anger he almost sit up, but the pain knocks him back down.

“Asshole” you declare throwing the clothing item in his face, setting the frozen bag aside, you sit by his side as you try to calm your own frustration. Alex gets strangely quiet but doesn’t move a muscle at your sudden vent and there’s a brief silence before it breaks.

“You don’t need to take it so seriously” he says, seemingly in an attempt to comfort you without lying telling you that “it won’t happen again”

“...” you look at him in frustration, he looks back at you and even through his expression is serious at the beginning, a smile grows on him as he notices your gaze, probably taking pleasure in your aching in some way.

“C’mon, my pretty kisa, are you jealous?” he lightly tugs at the fabric of your dress as a way to secure your attention.

“You don’t know what I’m feeling” you mutter. It’s true, you’re not jealous, just tired of the same shit, yet he’s so sure of his assumption he chuckles at your denial. Holding your elbow, he guides you to lay beside him, you don’t fight his action, deep down wanting the comfort he extends.

“Now, now, my kisa, you can’t be jealous at some starry sooka who can’t even compare”

You sigh, already overwhelmed by his sweet-talk, you just want him to shut up.

“Don’t” he looks at you, one eyebrow raised in confusion as you interrupt him in the middle of his speech to kiss him lightly.

“I don’t want to hear it” you whisper as your voice seems to falter slightly by the lump in your throat.

He smiles his ever-dashing smile, those bright electrifying blue eyes staring at you with a hint of amusement, but this time you don’t really care about it.

He stares at your lips, holds the back of your head tightly and finally kisses you roughly, it’s hard for you to keep up with him when you feel so close to crying; none the less you continue, allowing yourself the opportunity to block everything out; right now you don’t want to think how bad he really is for you.

He caresses your leg, his hand lifting your dress allowing him easy access to your ass which he squeezes firmly enough to hurt you just slightly and as you react by throwing your head back to allowing yourself to moan, he quickly takes the space to kiss your neck this time even leaving a trail of bite marks on it and you make a mental note to find a way to cover those later.

You can feel his hand trying to unfasten the top part of your dress and so you help him, allowing for your exposed breasts to be tasted by him, you moan even harder when you feel him suck especially harsh on one of your nipples.

“Shit” you curse at him, this time you decide to get back at him by sliding your hand past his underwear and taking his cock in your hand making harsh up and down motions earning you a sudden grunt from him followed by a small laugh.

“Quite the baddiwad* are you, my kisa, eh?” He manages to let out in between all the groaning

Your only response comes in the form of a mocking smile, one similar to the many others he had given you

“I can be even worse” you declare, in an act of petty revenge you press lightly at his injured spot, just enough for the pain to leave him lying on his back once more as you act quickly and climb right on top of him, you make eye contact with him and can tell that he is not only surprised but curious to see where this new found side of you might lead him. You lower yourself until your entrance falls just above his length and start grinding on it. You moan along with his grunts; you can feel him trying to hold himself back from cuming right then and there by gripping your ass and thighs with so much force you can tell he’s trying to anchor himself.

You make a slight pause as you place your own underwear aside, leaving yourself partially exposed as your dress still hangs by your waist. You lower back onto him, this time allowing him to enter you; you watch as he looks at you with that beastly gaze of him, one full of determination and lust. Wasting no time, you begin riding him, but unlike many times before, this time you only care about your pleasure.

You can’t tell how many times you danced up and down his cock, whatever the number might be you fasten your own pace when you feel so close and finally you reach it, your head and body naturally lean forward asking for a kiss as you moan a random curse you can’t even remember now. He complies kissing you and allowing yourself a few seconds to catch your breath, but only that...seconds, as he grabs your hips and tries to replicate your movements from moments before.

But before he can do so, you act faster; pressing once more the sore spot on his chest he is thrown back in bed by the pain and you take the chance to come down from him, stand up, quickly fix your clothes and walk towards the door without allowing him any release.

You hear him curse at you behind your back and maybe make an attempt to grab you but instead you get the pleasure of slamming the door right in his face. As you bolt through the hallway and out of flatblock 18A where your long-time boyfriend lives, you smile to yourself.

It might be time for a change in your life...

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#a clockwork orange #alex delarge x reader #alex delarge

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maladaptivedaydreamers · 10 months

Text

Pent Up Marriage (Arranged Marriage! Ayato x Reader)

Synopsis: You desperately want to make this marriage work, and after he cheated on you multiple times, you made the numbing decision on how to save it. It works! However, you’re now like a puppet to your husband, growing numb and emotionless. Ayato, on the other hand, seems to enjoy it.

Direct Quote: “Yeah, so…whenever you need it, just…tell me, you know. It doesn’t matter if you’re mad or frustrated or just needy, if you need to exert some kind of stress, just let it out on me.” You say, looking at him in the eye. He stared at you, not knowing what to say, but…kinda turned on. “…"I'll keep that in mind, then. Just be prepared in case I get violent or something. I can be...brutal."

TW: Non-con, Dub-con, Harsh s3x, Abus3, Groping, Somno, Forceful, Manipulation, Cheating

After another stressful day at work, you come home feeling stressed and tired. Your husband, Ayato, seems to be having another “overtime” at his office. You clean up, tidy up the house, do the laundry, cook dinner. Eventually, Ayato comes home, disheveled and upset, as usual.

“Hey.” He uttered, removing his shoes as he entered the apartment.

“You’re home.” You said, walking up to him and placing a small kiss on his cheek. Part of the routine. As you did so, you see a small red mark on his collar, lip stick. “Take your shirt off.” You simply say, unbuttoning his shirt.

Ayato looked confused and irritated as he looked down at you. “What?”

“I said, take your shirt off. You don’t want it to stain, do you? Red pigment is hard to wash off if it dries.” You say, blankly. You’ve gotten used to his cheating ways, and all you wanted to do was adapt to it.

Ayato rolled his eyes before harshly unbuttoning his shirt, tossing it to you. “There, whatever.” He uttered before heading to the bathroom to shower.

As you tossed the shirt in the washing machine, you were thinking of a way to stop him from his affairs. After all, if his and your family were to find out that he was looking for another person to fulfill his desires, you’d be in big trouble.

Whatever, you still had some work to do anyway, you should just think about it another time. Focus on your laptop and let your husband do…whatever, I guess?

Soon, it was deep into the night and you decide to head into your shared room. Or you would consider to be just Ayato’s room.

Ayato's room was neat and tidy, with only a few books scattered on the floor with the covers facing up. His bed was made with sharp creases and the sheets were tucked firmly around a big pillow. Atop his desk was a large PC setup, the lights softly illuminated the room, and in the far corner, a door leads to another room in the house, the bathroom.

Ayato was already under the covers, his arms folded underneath his head and his eyes closed tight. He didn't turn to look at you and stayed silent, pretending to be asleep.

You were still restless, as you let out a yawn as you get into your side of the bed, sitting up and leaning against the headrest. You spend a few minutes looking over and reviewing some files. Ayato pretended to stay asleep, but one of his eyes peaked open as if curious about what you were doing. The faint glow of your phone screen caught his attention as he moved his head slowly, peeking just a little bit more. Why would you still be awake?

Soon, you fell asleep. You shouldn’t have forced yourself to stay up so late. That’s what Ayato thought, that you were always killing yourself by working too hard for a job that you cared too much about. Ayato sighed, getting out of bed. He walked over to you, picking up the documents before covering you with a blanket and laying them down on the small table next to your bed.

He leaned down to your ear and whispered, "Good night."

He turned off the lights, then headed back to his room to do the same. The two of you slept soundly at opposite ends of the house, not bothering each other for the rest of the night.

Not for long though…

Suddenly, your phone rang, your stupid boss again. It was 5am! Why would he be-

“Hello?” You answered, why did you answer? Your eyes were squinting from being suddenly woken up, “Sir, I got the files back earlier, I’ll deliver it when I get to work later. …No, I can’t deliver them now, I just got back home…Thank you, goodnight.” You sighed, knowing it will be another heavy day.

Ayato woke up with a start, but kept quiet, listening to your end of the phone call. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed you were up. He remained silent for a moment, but eventually spoke up.

"Bad news, huh? Can't sleep?" he asked, looking towards you in the dim light of the room.

You were startled, and also a little guilty. “Shit, did I wake you up?”

"Yes, but don't worry about it." Ayato sat up and put his feet down on the floor. As the two of you sat on opposite sides of the bed, he spoke again.

"Does your boss never let you rest? Or maybe you're just bad at your job." He chuckled slightly, and you noticed a slight annoyance in his tone.

You hum a simple, “Mhmm.” as you rest your head onto your pillow.

"You were out all night and now your boss wants you to go to work? Is this the life of my wife? To be some company's dog you can just go around and do your boss's dirty work?" Ayato smirked and leaned back on his elbows, amused by his own sarcastic comment.

You didn’t know what to say, frankly, your mouth just spoke whatever your mind processed first. “…Oh..have I been neglecting you?”

Ayato let out a sigh and rolled his eyes, seeming a little irritated by your comment.

"We're in this marriage just because our parents wanted us to. We're not in love," he said, speaking bluntly.

"So it really doesn't matter if we neglect each other or not. Besides, this is a loveless marriage, and neither of us loves the other. That means we have no obligations to each other."

You nod. “…Do you feel neglected? Which…makes you cheat?”

He seemed to be annoyed, which caused him to ramble on and on. "Do I feel neglected? Pssh!" He paused for a moment before continuing. "You know what? Not really. I don't rely on you to fulfill my needs."

"And you're right, I have been seeing other people, but don't mistake them for being my lovers!”

You sighed, seeing he wasn’t answering the question. “So…are you? No judgement, really. It’s okay to admit that you’re…you know…needy.”

Ayato's eyes widened for a moment before he stared at you in shock.

"Needy? What are you getting at?" he asked, trying to hide his annoyance. "I guess so.... Yeah, I am. What now?"

“It’s just an observation, you know. You’ve been kissing me on the cheek, waiting for me to get home. It’s unusual for you to do that….” You say.

"Don't get the wrong idea," he scoffed, his voice becoming louder as he raised an eyebrow. "Just because it's an unusual night, does not mean I care for you." He hissed the words with such intensity. "It's just that...I felt like it, that's all. Get that into your head." He sighed again. His annoyance was starting to fade into a sadness, but his attitude remained rough and cold.

“…Thank you for telling me.” You sighed.

You thought for a minute…

He was needy… So he had affairs… Ah…now you know what to do.

“Hey…Ayato.” You sat up, meeting him eye to eye.

Ayato turned to look at you, his eyes still filled with annoyance and disappointment. "What do you want now? What else is there to talk about?”

You thought for a moment before saying, “You can always let your frustration out on me, you know?”

Ayato's face tightened. He looked as if he wanted to strangle you in a moment of rage. "You want me to let my frustration out on you? Just because we're in a loveless marriage, which makes you think that I get the right to abuse you?"

“Eh?” You look at him. “You don’t have to abuse me, you can just…release pent-up frustration.”

Ayato paused for a moment and lowered his voice, staring at you with slight confusion.

"You want me to hit you, or something?" Ayato scoffed, amused yet slightly confused at your suggestion.

“No..something like this.” You muttered before leaning in…

…and kissing him.

Ayato looked surprised as your lips touched his. For a second, he was caught off guard, but his lips soon parted, and he kissed you back passionately.

The taste of you was familiar, as one hand reached down as he kissed you, caressing your cheek, brushing your hair behind your ear; his other hand placed gently against your shoulder. He broke the kiss and sighed softly, looking down at you, his cheeks flushed.

“See? …Just like that.” You said, staring up at him blankly.

Ayato chuckled softly. "You really had me going for a second." He smirked and looked at you, shaking his head.

"Thanks." Ayato seemed to have calmed down, but he still looked tense and stiff, as he sighed again. "You were right. I may hate it, but I am needy. And you're the only person I can go to for it."

“Yeah, so…whenever you need it, just…tell me, you know. It doesn’t matter if you’re mad or frustrated or just needy, if you need to exert some kind of stress, just let it out on me.” You say, looking at him in the eye.

He stared at you, not knowing what to say, but…kinda turned on. “…"I'll keep that in mind, then. Just be prepared in case I get violent or something. I can be...brutal."

The next day, you get home from another hard day of work, working a little later than usual. You opened the door to your house and sighed. It seems that the day was longer than you thought. As you locked the door behind you, you realized that it had become much darker outside. A cold breeze came through your open jacket, and your arms quickly began to get goosebumps.

You quickly turn around. Ayato was standing there, right in behind you, with a deadpan expression on his face. His arms remained crossed the whole time, and you noticed a slight anger in his eyes.

He cleared his throat and stared at you directly, his tone still dry and annoyed. He took a deep breath and sighed.

"You're late." he said bluntly. "I've waited for you for hours, and yet you're...late. Did I give you permission to get home late?

You sighed, “Sorry, they made me do overtime.”

Ayato continued to look at you with a slightly annoyed look on his face. "I hope they gave you some decent compensation for making you work late."

He paused, "You'd better make up for that by coming right here and serving me the second you get home, you hear me?"

He raised his voice as he stepped closer to you.

"Do you understand, dear?" he muttered in a dry tone before looking away.

“Oh, I see what’s happening here.” you muttered before you leaned in and kissed him, placing your hand at the back of his neck.

He soon returned it. He placed a hand on the back of your neck as well, pulling you closer to him and gently guiding your body to the wall as you kissed. After a moment, he pulled back and looked at you, and you noticed his voice was softer than before.

"Good girl."

“You seemed to be frustrated… Bad day at work?” you said, looking up at him.

"You could say that..." The corners of his mouth turned up slightly into a dark smirk.

"So, why don't you go make me feel a little better?" This time, the sinister look was back on his face, and a twinkle of anger and resentment shone in his eyes. "I'm sure you can make up for being late and leaving me all by myself, can't you?"

You knew what you had to do, you leaned in to kiss him again, and he let you. Ayato soon grabbed you by the waist and led you to their bedroom, locking the door after he pushed you into it. Ayato smiled as his lips parted to break the kiss.

"You're good at making a man happy, you know? Keep up the good work." He chuckled darkly, as his gaze lingered on you for a moment.

“I promised you, didn’t I? You can take out your frustrations out on me.” You panted, out of breath from the kiss.

He smirked and nodded. He looked at you in a way that conveyed his expectations. As he stared at you, you could feel his impatience, and his desire for control. "You know what to do after that." Ayato watched you as you took off your blouse. He soon reached out and started caressing your chest, his fingers running across your skin as he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

His tone and expression were still serious and cold, but you noticed the slight signs of pleasure written on his face.

"More...I still don't feel satisfied."

You unzipped your bottoms as he continued to watch you. As your skirt fell to the floor, Ayato's eyes widened slightly and he smiled.

"Good girl." All of the anger was gone from his tone and voice, and you could hear a twinkle of desire in his voice. "That's a good girl."

You slowly sat down on the bed, and Ayato took a moment to look you up and down. His voice was now a little softer, and he smiled at you. His eyes were glued to your underwear and black tights, and you could already feel his desire growing. He soon stood up, and looked directly at you. He slowly pulled off his suit jacket, his eyes still focused on you all the while. "Now, then...why don't you get comfortable for me?"

He could only smile as you layed down on the bed. He slowly started walking towards you, taking off his belt and tossing it to the side. His dark gray dress pants were soon following it, as a mischievous look crossed his face. He climbed on top of you, his body covering yours, as you felt him place his hands on your waist. He sighed and slowly got comfortable, leaning down towards you. You could feel him start pulling off your tights, and his eyes became fixed on your skin. Ayato sighed, and a smile crossed his lips as he reached out and placed a soft kiss on your inner thigh. His hand slid back and forth across your skin, and you could feel his breath coming in slow, shallow breaths. He chuckled darkly as he looked up at you, and spoke in a low, dark voice.

“Such…a good girl…”

He began to kiss you again, as he trailed from your lips, to your neck, to your breasts. “Last time we did this…I don’t even remember.” He chuckled, pushing his band underneath you to get to your back. And in one swift motion, unclasped your bra. He tossed it somewhere in the room before continuing to kiss your chest, massaging the other with his hand.

“A-Ah..” You let out from the sudden feeling.

His hands trailed down to the waistband of your panties before pulling them down. “Spread them for me, hm?” He grinned as you did as you were told. “Good girl…good wife.” He said before slowly pressing a finger onto your hole causing you to whimper a little. This only made him chuckle as he pushed a finger in, slowly pumping it. “That’s it.” He said, kissing you to muffle your voice.

One finger became two…then became three as your whimpers turned into moans. “Shhh, calm down, hun.” he laughed. “That should stretch you out enough. Feel good?” He looked down at you, but you were unable to answer, still panting.

“Well, I’ll assume, okay? Now..make me feel good.” He asked, leaning back to show you his bulge. His cheeks were red as he still had that grin on his face. You nodded as you unzipped his pants, causing his dick to spring up. “Miss this?” Ayato chuckled, tapping his dick on your lips. “Go on then.”

You opened your mouth, slowly taking him in your mouth. God, you forgot how big he was. It has been a while, for sure. You take him in slowly, finally taking him in fully.

“Yes~ So…good. This is nice.” he said, letting out a sigh. You slowly bopped your head back and forth as he let out a few satisfied moans. As you kept going, you suddenly felt his hands push your head deeper.

“Mmhph?!” You gagged, but it was no use as he continued to thrust into your mouth.

He moaned happily, “Ah, shit~ That’s right~ I forgot how good your fucking throat is.” he moaned.

You felt him coming close as you felt him twitch inside your mouth. He pulled out, panting. “That’s…that’s a good girl.” He said, slapping you on the cheek softly as you coughed and breathed for air. He pushed you onto the bed, pulling you into another aggressive kiss and he trailed his hands on your hips. Ayato pushed himself in the middle of your legs and without hesitation, starting aligning his dick to your hole.

“Ah, shit!” he hissed as he had troubles pushing his tip inside you. He let out a few cursed laughs before saying, “You know, I really thought you were cheating on me too, just to get back at me. Ah!~ But…you’re so tight…fuck! It’s…a shame you’re not using this.” he mocked you, as he pushed in deeper.

“A-Ah! W-Wait!” You said, gripping his shoulders as he pushed deeper in you, your back arched as a few more inches entered you.

He bottoms out on you as he let out a moan. “Ah!~” he grinned in satisfaction, his dick resting inside your tight pussy. “Shit, you’re good.” he uttered as he started thrusting in and out of you, not giving you time to adjust.

“Fuck, you’re good, such a good wife.” He moaned, spreading your legs apart even further. He continued pounding into you, your whimpers turning into teary moans as he kept going. “Tsk, tsk. Don’t cry now. If it makes you feel better…you feel better than those bitches I cheat on you with. Hm? Feel better?” He sounded like he was mocking you, insulting you or something. But either way, you continued to moan as your legs went limp. He placed one of your legs on his shoulder, thrusting in deeper into your tight cunt.

Your body felt hot as you trembled underneath him. You were wondering whether or not this was the right decision or not. A mixture of pleasure and pain ran across your body, but soon, a knot was filling your stomach. God, it’s been ages since you last felt something like this. Moan after moan after moan, you couldn’t stop as your hands gripped the sheets. You couldn’t even make out words when the knot in your stomach unwinded, releasing an orgasm which made you arch your back and cried out.

“Oooh~ Shit, was that an orgasm? You’re so…weak..! It’s been what? 5 minutes? Feels so good, huh? Wanna tell your husband how good he is? Hm?” He laughed as he continued to pound into you.

He watched your breasts bounce as he pushed his cock in and out of you like an animal in heat, he wasn’t stopping. “Damnit.” He uttered out as the grip on your leg and waist tightened, he was getting close too. …And so were you.

“Fuck, fuck.” He uttered, his fingers digging into your skin. He leaned down as he sucked on your neck, leaving a few marks. His lips trailed back onto yours as your tongues danced.

You let out a cry of pleasure as another coil unraveled inside you. And this… this pushed him to the edge as he thrusted one final and harsh thrust, painting your insides white. “Ah, fuck!” He growled, spasming a few thrusts to ensure he’s in you.

You pant, seeing your surroundings close in on you as you feel exhausted. Your limbs go limp and your chest rise and fall.

Ayato looks down at you blankly…staring at you as you’re covered in sweat. Your legs drop and fall flat. But after a few seconds, he puts them back on his shoulder. “No, no, no… we’re not done. No.” He shakes his head. He no longer had a grin on his face.

It was just filled with cold-hearted desire.

And after 4 rounds, he pulled out of you, his cum bursting out as soon as he did, dribbling on the sheets.

Ayato was breathing heavily, his heavy breaths coming and going in fast, shallow breaths. He took a moment to catch his breath, smiling as he looked down at you.

You were laid down on his bed, tired and exhausted from what had just happened, and you noticed Ayato's eyes staring down at you in satisfaction.

"You...didn't disappoint," He smirked.

"I hope you'll be more ready next time." He paused for a moment as he rolled his shoulders. "Now, why don't you get some sleep?"

You mumbled a small “Okay…” as your eyes were already shutting.

Ayato's eyes lingered on you for a moment, before he got up and went into the bathroom. After a few minutes, he came out, cleaned and dressed up. He slowly walked closer to you, and sat on the side of the bed.

He stared at you for a moment, and smiled softly.

"You're really are tired. You were a good girl tonight, you know." He sighed as he leaned over you, and kissed your forehead. "Try to get some rest, alright?"

This continued on and on and on and on, no matter if it was on your way to work or when you’ve just come back. It was like routine already. If you noticed Ayato was cranky, you’d be making out in no less than a few seconds.

One day, Ayato returned at 10pm, looking tired as he dropped his briefcase on the floor. He was still dressed in his work clothes, and the look of disdain on his face had grown even stronger.

He was exhausted and tired, and the light in his eyes was almost gone. He sighed quietly as he walked to the kitchen and started rummaging through the cabinets for a drink. He looked over at you, and his lip curled up in contempt.

"What do you want? I'm not in the mood to talk." His tone was cold and dismissive.

“You okay?” you ask from the living room.

Ayato turned around and stared at you, his gaze still filled with disdain.

"I'm fine. I just had a fantastic day at work." He took out a bottle of vodka and opened it, pouring himself a cup. He sighed as he poured himself a glass, and then drank the entire glass in one go.

"Why do you care, anyway?" He turned around and leaned against the counter, his tone growing even more cold. "Do you really care about how I feel?"

You pause, thinking of the right thing to say. “…Depends if you want me to care.”

"I'm your husband."

His tone was stern and slightly aggressive, and he soon set his empty glass aside.

"You should always care about how I feel. After all, you're my wife." He sighed, and a hint of anger could be sensed in his voice. "If you're not going to care, then maybe you should just leave."

“…You okay? Seriously, you can tell me.” You look over at him, lightly concerned.

"I'm fine..." A sigh of disappointment escaped his lips as he reached out for the bottle of vodka and refilled the cup.

"Just let me drink in peace. I don't want to talk about it." His tone was still stern and serious, as it had been in the morning. He had just had an awful day, and he wanted to spend the rest of the day drinking to make himself feel better. He was just hoping that you wouldn't keep pestering him as he continued drinking his vodka in silence.

You let out a sigh before walking up to him, taking the cup away. “That’s enough.”

"Hey! Give it back to me." You could see the light of anger in his eyes as he looked down at you, his lip curling up in a snarl as he glared at you. "I said, give it back to me." He glared down at you, as he reached a hand out and started trying to grab the cup from you.

You sigh as he leans in to take the cup back, so you lean in close…kissing him.

When you leaned in to kiss him, the light of anger in his eyes changed to a light of passion.

He couldn't help but let out a moan as his lips met yours, and he pressed himself against you. He pulled his hand back from trying to grab the drink.

"Good girl."

He pulled away from the kiss and smiled softly, as he brushed a strand of your hair aside.

Ayato smirked at you, as you could see the light of amusement in his eyes once more.

"Good girl. This is what I've been waiting for all day," he chuckled.

As he spoke, he went in for another kiss, much deeper than the first one and with far more passion.

Do you see what I mean? This was everyday with him. And it was…all your fault. You suggested this, and he just took the chance. It didn’t matter where either. The kitchen, the couch, the bathroom, the car. You would always comply. Even if you said…

“Ayato, not today…”

“Ayato, I’m tired…can we not do it today?”

“Ayato…please don’t?”

It would always end in you and him fucking ‘til his heart’s content.

But you were successful though, in making him NOT cheat. He always came home early, looking for you instead of some other girl. That’s a good thing…right?

But don’t worry! He would reward you. Every time you two are done, he would lay beside you, propping himself using his elbow and whisper…

“What would you like for your reward? Anything in the world…”

“You want a diamond necklace?”

“Does my good girl want a new car? New shoes?”

“I’ll get you whatever you want.”

That’s a good thing, right? He’s…being nice? He’s spoiling you, like a husband would.

But deep down, you were getting tired. Not of him, but of…this. Not mentally, but physically. Because soon…

…You can’t sleep.

Why can’t you sleep? You close your eyes and see nothing, you can’t feel anything. You wanna sleep. But you can’t. Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep?

One day, you come home from work, exhausted and a little emotional, cause your boss is a bitch. Ayato was on the sofa in the living room, reading another newspaper. He looked up as you came through the door.

"Are you home early today, my love?" He smiled, still showing no true warmth or affection in his tone. “Is something the matter? You seem quite tired..."

He chuckled, before speaking again. "Ah, who am I kidding? You always seem tired...You just can't get enough sleep, can you?"

You stay silent for a moment before walking up to him…

And hugging him?

"Huh?" He was shocked by the sudden hug. "Is something the matter? Why did you hug me so suddenly?" His voice was calm, but there was still an air of resentment and malice. He was clearly not in the mood to care about you. He sighed, but continued to show an indifferent or annoyed look.

"I mean, it's a good surprise I guess, but it's not normal for you to show affection, so I'm a little surprised..."

“Please…be quiet. I just…need someone right now.” You uttered, as you stared into the floor.

"Hmph..Fine..." His voice was quiet, but it still carried a dark undertone to it that made it obvious he wasn't happy.

He sighed, before looking down at you and speaking once more. "Just so you know, it's not like I'm enjoying this. I'm just doing it because you've had a rough day, that's all. Do not get this mistaken for affection, Y/N."

He looked at you, his expression remaining cold and indifferent. "Is that clear?" In which you simply replied with a nod.

"Well, at least you understand..." He put his arms around you, and rested his head on yours. Despite the tone of his voice and the expressions he made, you could tell he was trying his best to be comforting...although he didn't seem to have much experience with this.

After a stressful day, a few tears dripped off your eyes as you rested against him. He noticed you crying, and sighed.

"Hm...are you okay?" His voice didn't sound like it normally did, but instead of being cold or sarcastic, it was a bit warmer than usual. "You seem a bit upset..."

He paused, before speaking again as he pulled your chin up a little. "My goodness, you look so miserable...You've really had a bad day, haven't you?"

You straightened yourself up, brushing off the tears before standing up. “I’ll head to bed now…goodnight.”

“Hey- Wha-“ He looked confused as he watched you walk to your shared room.

"Alright, then..." His voice was a lot softer than it normally was, and he gave you a small smile. "Goodnight, my love." He looked down a little, and you could see a hint of affection and kindness in his eyes now, but just for a moment.

Then it was gone, and he was once again a cold, reserved man, as he always had been.

So…what were you doing in your room? Why were you feeling so…weird? Like some sort of embarrassment and guilt?

…Is it because you bought those sleeping pills? The one you knew would slowly turn you into a drug-filled monster? Is it the way you’re popping 3 pills all at once? …Is that it? The pills kicked in fairly quickly, and you slowly started to fall asleep. It wasn't long before you became unconscious, feeling the effects of the sleeping pills. If you kept taking them at the same rate, you would soon be addicted to the pills, and it wouldn't be long before you couldn't sleep without them...

Soon, Ayato went inside the room, also wanting to sleep. He sees you on the bed, it was a little weird to see you sleeping so early since for the past few weeks, you’d struggle to fall asleep.

He shrugged, and sat down on his side of the bed. Looking over at you, he noticed that you was sleeping very deeply - more deeply than normal, and it wasn't hard to tell why.

He rolled over, got comfy, and lied down. He closed his eyes, and soon enough, he also fell into a deep sleep.

The same routine of fucking and swallowing sleeping pills made you different. Too different. You turned emotionless and cold. You were…not Y/N anymore.

One day, after another stuffy fucking, you both were laying in bed. Ayato sighed. "Well, it's been a long day, hasn't it? I need sleep. I don't suppose we should stay up too long tonight." His voice sounded a bit softer than before.

"Goodnight...my dear wife..." He put one of his arms around you, and hugged you tightly.

"I may not show it much, but I do care about you. You know that, don't you?" He paused, waiting for a response.

You stared into the ceiling, exhausted but restless. “…Sure.”

"Sure" He scoffed, clearly not buying it at all. His voice was colder than ever, and it was hard to recognize this as the same person who had just comforted you. "Sure."

He hugged you tightly, and lay his head down on the pillow. He took the blanket, and covered up both of you, before going to sleep once more. You could feel that he had grown colder and more distant than ever before - like he hadn't wanted you near him at all. He had grown colder and more aloof than ever before.

Ayato was sleeping deeply right beside you. He seemed to be peaceful, but despite what he said earlier, it was hard to tell whether he truly cared about you. He laid there next to you, breathing quietly, completely asleep.

Was he telling the truth, or was he lying?

Did he care about you, or did he hate having you near him?

You couldn't tell anymore at this point. And you didn’t care. You needed something else.

Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills.

Shit, you needed those pills.

You harshly stood up from the bed, not caring if you woke him up or not. You walk to the bedside table, where you took out the bottle of sleeping pills.

"What are you doing?"

Ayato seemed to notice you standing up, and he sat up in the bed. With a groan, he looked up at the clock, before looking back at you.

"Is something the matter, wife?"

He still wasn't showing any signs of affection, but his voice was a little softer now, and his attitude was a little less antagonistic.

“Nothing.” you said, holding the bottle behind you.

"Nothing?" Ayato frowned, and sat up in the bed fully. He looked over at you, raising an eyebrow. He was still wondering what you were doing, looking at you with a slight hint of suspicion.

"Sure," he said with a cold voice, and you could see a smirk on his face now. "You're lying about something. Tell me what the deal is." His tone became cold once more, and you could see that he was beginning to get annoyed.

“Show me the bottle.”

You froze. “What bottle?”

"What bottle?" He narrowed his eyes again, glaring at you. You could feel his anger and irritation building up. He had always been calm and cold, but this was the first time you had seen him genuinely angry. Even before, when he yelled at you, he still sounded calm and unemotional.

"Are you lying to me now? That bottle that you're clearly trying to hide behind your back...show it to me.”

“It’s not a big deal.” You shook your head.

"It isn't a big deal?" He frowned, and sounded a little pissed off.

"Well then, there isn't any reason not to show me, is there? He narrowed his eyes again.

"Show. Me. The. Bottle."

You realized that he wasn't really kidding anymore. If you still didn't show him, he might get even more pissed off. He had always been cold and unemotional, but now, you could really sense his anger.

"Are you seriously not going to show me?"

He stood up, and walked toward you as he reached out, and yanked the bottle from your hands.

"Was that so hard?

He looked at the bottle, and then gave you another angry look.

"I thought it wasn't a big deal? Since when have you been taking sleeping pills, Y/N?!”

“…3 months.”

He scoffed, angry and in disbelief. “How many? How many fucking pills do you take a day?”

You look up at him, before you roll your eyes. “3 before but now I take double.”

"You've been taking double the amount of pills lately?! Why are you doubling the amount?” He gripped the bottle angrily.

Why was he so upset anyway?

"Let me guess… 3pills wasn't enough, eh? And did you ever think that taking that many pills might not be beneficial in the long term?" He raised an eyebrow, and he was still watching you intently.

"I thought there wasn't any need for such drastic measures... But then again, you always enjoyed being dramatic when it came to things like these…”

“Stop it, it’s not like I’ll be addicted to them.” You say, scratching your head in irritation. “I can’t sleep, I need them.”

"Is that really the only reason why?" He sighed loudly, and then smiled darkly.

"You already know what I suspect. The real reason is because you enjoy that little feeling of high that those pills give you, isn't it? You love that little rush of euphoria.”

You laughed, having had enough of his bullshit. “I wish I could get high off of them. I wish I could feel a little bit happier taking them. But noooooo! I just fucking need them so I can have some shut eye before getting back to work!” You had snapped, just wanting to take the pills.

You snatch back the bottle, much to the dismay of Ayato. "Give. The bottle. Back." He said, reaching his hand out.

You really should have known better. You felt a harsh smack to your face. Your hand grasped your now red cheek. “What the hell, Ayato?!” You yelled.

"You deserved that. Don't think you could get away with harming yourself, while also refusing to let me help.”

His hands were shaking with rage. "Give me the pills."

Instead, you ripped the bottle open, popping a few pills in your mouth. You didn’t care anymore… You wanted sleep.

“Y/N! What the fuck!” He yelled, taking the bottle from you and throwing it on the floor. But it was too late, the pills were so strong that you were already seeing the world as a blur.

"You really don't care, do you? About yourself and your well being?" He sighed, and then gave up talking to you. He looked at you with the same angry and frustrated look, before he looked you up and down. "And of course you'd already be starting to feel the effects of that many pills so quickly."

Now, he was just talking to the oblivion. You plopped yourself in bed as you stared at the ceiling. "You really don't care, do you?"

He stared at you in annoyance. "If you died right now, then I doubt you'd even be sad...” He stopped, before standing next to you and looking at you with a more angry expression.

"Why do you just give up on yourself like that...just...why?"

“Because …I’m stupid…and pathetic.” You muttered, laying down on the bed as your eyesight turned foggy.

"No you're not. And I hate it when you say that about yourself." He was still looking at you as he sat down beside you.

"You know what it's called when you keep self-destructive thoughts like that? Self loathing, I do believe...and it's sad to see that you've come to this point. To think that you've given up like this..."

He was getting sick of saying the same things, anyways.

"You're hopeless...that's why I hate this side of you. And it's why I'm so mad at you all the time. I'm tired of your self-destructive behavior, and I'm also tired of this endless cycle that we're in. But I don't want to give up on you because I love you dearly... But I don’t wanna love a bitch who doesn’t even love herself.”

He sighed. "That's what makes this so hard..."

“Heh, maybe I am getting a high from those pills. I can hear you say bullshit.” you uttered, wondering if you were hearing things right.

"Ha...ha...you're not funny.”

He sounded annoyed. He really wanted you to take this more seriously. He didn't know what to do with you anymore...

That was when Ayato suddenly remembered something. Something that he could potentially use to convince you to lay off the sleeping pills.

"Or...there's another solution that we could use, if you really think that you need those sleeping pills to survive the night..."

You looked over at him for a moment…oh wait…oooohhh that’s what he meant. “Oh god, not this again, are you pent up or something?” You groaned.

When he heard that, he didn't know whether to feel amused or annoyed.

"You really think that I'm that desperate..."

He sighed, and sighed again. "I'm trying to help you here, Y/N.”

He looked at you, seemingly amused now - but he wasn't going to give up that easily.

"I guess you want to make this hard, don't you? ...and I thought you're the obedient wife who always follows her husband's orders..."

“I’m about to fall asleep so…if you wanna do *it* with your *sleeping* wife, then be my guest.” You scoffed.

Your eyes fluttered, and then they closed. You were completely unconscious now. Ayato watched you for a moment, and he seemed happy.

His lips curved up into a smile, and he gave you a sly wink.

"I'll make sure to enjoy this." He grinned…

He loomed over your sleeping body as his thoughts began to run wild. His fingers were fidgeting as he reached for the hem of your shirt. He didn’t hesitate but pull off of you.

The sight of you so vulnerable really turned him on. He leaned down, kissing and marking your neck with dark hickeys as he grinded his already hardening bulge on you. Why was he liking this? Doesn’t matter, he was too deep into it already.

He continued to grind into you, he didn’t need to pin you down but he still did, pushing your hands into the bed.

His desires soon took over him, ripping up your panties to expose your cunt. He was hungry, more than ever. He knew there was no way he you were going to wake up anyway, he could do anything.

As he continued kissing down your neck to your chest, suckling on one of your breasts, his hand were now wandering. His cock ached in against the fabric of his pants as he stroked his finger in your folds. Oh…? Y/N…you’re wet. This seemed to entice him, as he kissed lower and lower, until he reached…ah, there.

He licked his lips as his breath approached your pussy, he licked a stripe before coming down. Kissing, sucking, licking in between your folds. He was getting greedy and hungry for you. He pulled you by the legs as he continued to eat you out, resting your thighs on his shoulder. Once he was satisfied, he pulled away from you, a thread of saliva still connecting you before he licked his lips, dropping your legs back onto the bed.

Fuck, why was this turning him on so bad?

He was adoring the sight of you, running his hands all over your body. He pulled down his sweats as his cock sprung out, already leaking with precum. He used his knees to spread your legs open, excited and full of desire. Ayato continued to stare at your face as he spread your legs open with his knees, stroking his cock as he did so. He positioned himself perfectly before burying himself completely inside of you, letting out a moan at how tight you were. He stayed motionless first, giving you a few slaps on the face to make sure you were still asleep.

His pace started off slow, trying to indulge in the power he was feeling. But it was soon replaced by desire as he quickened his pace, the sheets rustling and the bed creaking.

“Ah, fuck, so good. Such a fucking bitch.” He moaned out, pushing your legs to your chest.

“Shit, shit, ah!~ Yes!~” His eyes rolling back in pleasure as he took advantage of your sleeping body. He should be guilty…but he wasn’t. He felt a knot forming on his abdomen as he continued to plow into you.

“Y/N..Oh, fuck, Y/N!~” He moaned out as he came undone inside of you, his hips jerking back and forth.

He took a few breaths, trying to breath in some air, but he soon flipped you over, slapping your ass even though he knew, he wasn’t gonna get a reaction from you.

He pushed your head onto the pillow as he helped prop you on your knees, positioning himself again to push into you.

“Agh…!~ Fuck!” He groaned in pleasure as he pushed his entire cock into you again. He begins to speed up, not wasting anytime as he pounded into you, holding you by your hips. “Mhmm, so good. You wanted this…you wanted this…”

He bucks his hips into you as he cums once again, his essence spilling out of you as a white ring forms around the base of his cock.

As he pulls out, your cunt dribbles out his seed, which entices him even more.

He feels himself getting hard again as he gets ready for another round.

Wow…Ayato..

You’re a fucking monster…

A few rounds later, the day was already coming closer to dawn, and he seemed completely exhausted. He was still lying on top of you, and he seemed to be completely exhausted after what he had done with you.

He gave you a sad smile, before leaning in and kissing you on the lips. It was a kiss that lasted for a long time...

...He really was a monster.

He picked up the bottle of sleeping pills from the floor and placed them on your bedside table, but then he leaned down again. He kissed you again, and then he whispered into your ears...

"Take better care of yourself, okay Y/N? He smiled, before resting his head against your chest and giving your neck a kiss.

"I'd hate to see you feeling so poorly." He closed his eyes, and he began to fall asleep...

When your alarm rang, you woke up to discover yourself fully naked. “…He really fucking did it.” you laughed.

"You really are a heavy sleeper..." Ayato yawned as he sat up. "Did you enjoy it?"

“Did you?” you ask, looking over at him, still surprised he actually did such a thing.

"Of course I enjoyed it, Y/N." He was grinning sadistically now.

"And if it gets you to stop taking those pills, then I'll do what I have to."

You were in disbelief, unsure on what to say. “So every time I take sleeping pills, you’ll just…do it?”

"Mhm. Every. Single. Time.” He was actually happy with that.

"Because I'm not letting you hurt yourself like this. You want to be like an addict? Then I'm just going to force you to be happy - even if it means going to those lengths myself."

You let out a few laughs, “…Did you like taking me while I was asleep?”

"Of course I did," He gave you a sly, almost creepy smile. "Did you like what I did to you?" His voice was definitely dripping with sarcasm, and he seemed rather amused by your question. He didn't even bother hiding that.

“I consented to it…but I didn’t expect you to do it, actually.”

"...Consent, huh?" That was really the only thing that Ayato cared about here. He needed to know that you were okay with it - otherwise, he couldn't enjoy it nearly as much. But it was enough for him...

"If I'm being honest?" He laughed at his own statement. "I'm having fun with this, to be honest. I'd do this again and again."

You couldn't help but be a little creeped out with what he was saying.

"And again..."

"...and again..."

Your hands trembled a little, but it soon calmed as you realized…what’s the point?

"Why? What makes it so enjoyable..?” You asked. Ayato paused for a moment, and he leaned closer to you.

"Because I can do what I want with you, when I want to, however I want to. And…”

“…God, it just fucking turns me on, Y/N.”

"I love it." He was speaking honestly. He was smiling darkly and he had a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. He was enjoying himself. “It's like you're a piece of property, and I can do whatever I want with it."

“Ayato…do you love me?”

What? Y/N, don’t ask that! What the hell are you doing?

His face turned cold and cruel in an instant.

"Love...you? Don't be ridiculous. What do you even know about love?” Suddenly, all of his friendliness disappeared. That same dark look was in his eyes, and he looked dangerous for a moment.

"You're not capable of loving anyone. All you can do is be selfish."

His words hit you all at once, and it hurt. Why did you have to ask that?

“So I’m…incapable of loving…is that it?” You stammered, looking up at him.

“Hm…yeah.” He let that set in for a moment, before he smiled.

"That's because you're too selfish to care for anyone…”

"Love means that you care for other people. Well, how can you do that when you hate yourself? You can’t even look at yourself without wanting to kill whatever you see in the mirror."

“So tell me, Y/N…”

"...why would I ever love you?"

His stare was dark, and you got the implication now - you weren't worthy of being loved by him. He said the words in a cold tone, and it felt like his eyes were full of evil as he stared at you.

"What have you ever done that's worthy of someone loving you?"

The words cut whatever was left of your fragile, unfeeling heart. “You’re not answering my question…”

He stared at you for a moment then. "...Why do you think you're entitled to an answer?"

He couldn't believe it. Did you just ask him if he loves you?! As if he'd ever love someone like you? As if he was obligated to answer such a question? You were so selfish and delusional. No wonder you were getting the treatment that you were.

You laughed, almost going crazy. Was it the pills? Yeah…yeah, it was the pills.

“No, you need to answer… I want to know. Because…I want to know whether or not it’s worth it to let you take advantage of me. To keep being your pleasure doll.” You stared up at him, almost desperate.

"…Of course I don't love you, dear wife." His voice sounded full of hatred as he said that. But, then again, it did sound like he almost enjoyed speaking those words.

"There. You've got your answer."

You’re stupid, Y/N. You could’ve just continued acting clueless. You shouldn’t have sought for an answer. Now you’re hurt. And it was all your fault…

“…Was it good? Did you feel such good pleasure?” You asked, talking about him taking you while you were asleep.

"Yes. It was fucking great." It was obvious that he was trying to taunt you.

"Did you enjoy it too?"

He wanted to hear you say the words.

"Be honest, dear wife. Tell me, now."

A scoff left your lips as you reached for the bottle, taking a few pills in your mouth. “Doesn’t matter.” you chuckled.

Ayato froze…Y/N, what are you doing? Ayato didn’t know what do you but pull on your shoulder. “What the..fuck? What do you think you’re doing?” He stammers, gripping your shoulder.

But he was only met with a kiss as your body was starting to feel the effects of the 6 pills you decided to take. There was no response initially, as he was left frozen at your behavior. He did not expect this kind of response at all. He had no idea what to do to make you stop.

That had caught him completely off guard, to be honest.

His eyes widened, as he realized what the pills had done to you.

"Oh...no..."

You only smiled. “I’ll…keep doing this…if you like it…”

Why is your smile so genuine? What are you doing?

"No...don't...you...dare... You, you're ...making me like it...” He whispered to himself, looking down at you. You were starting to wobble from drowsiness as he took you in his arms.

"Y/N, you're dangerous. I don’t think you know just how dangerous you are..."

There was a sudden sharpness in his voice. He was angry now, wasn't he?

"Please..." He was begging you, for a moment. "...stop taking those pills..."

You reach out to caress his cheek. “…You enjoy it..don’t you? …I want to make you happy…”

There was no denying it - he did enjoy it. He didn’t want to ever admit that to you anymore. "I-I did enjoy it...but..." He trailed off "But I don't know if it's good for you..."

"I...I should stop you..."

It was obvious he was reluctant to do so.

“It doesn’t matter what I feel… Just..do whatever. If all you want is my body…then…so be it…” You said, your eyes fighting off the sleep.

Ayato's cold eyes opened in shock, hearing what you said to him.

"Do whatever...if all I want is your body?"

He looked confused for a moment. Was that how you viewed him? As someone who only viewed you as a mere pleasure tool? There was so much more to you than that...to him...to everyone.

Ayato was upset to hear that come out of your mouth.

You laughed softly. “I love you, Ayato… and if I have to do this for you to stay…I will…” You sighed, slowly drifting to sleep.

"...don't do this for me." Ayato was shocked. Did you mean what you said? Those words hurt him greatly more than anything else she had said.

"You don't need to do anything to please me, you…bitch.” He tried putting on a brave and confident front, as he spoke in his usual calm and confident voice. "You're worth so much more than that." He was trying to reassure you, but there was a small break in his voice when he said those words. “What..the fuck, Y/N?”

Your body lays limply on his arms as you sleep, there was nothing he could do anymore.

"Oh, fuck..." Ayato's face was full of worry and sadness, as he watched you lying there. It was obvious that your words hurt him greatly, and he couldn't help but shake a little. Could he really let you do something like that to yourself? But his heart broke, as his fears about you becoming a mere tool were coming true.

Would he ever be able to get over this?

He didn't know what to do...

The next day, you woke up like nothing happened. You rushed to the door, putting on your shoes for work. Ayato was left stunned, as he watched you leave. You seemed to be just going about your day, as if nothing had happened. You didn't say anything about the conversation yesterday...you didn't say anything about taking the pills either.

It was as if you didn't remember anything that had happened.

"This is a side of you that I haven't seen before..."

"You really are dangerous...what am I going to do about this...?"

You get home at around 2am. It was a long day at work, and you had come home pretty late. Ayato was in the living room, sitting on the couch and reading a book.

He looked up when you came home, and his eyebrows rose into surprise.

"You're pretty late tonight."

He watched you put your coat and other belongings away, before he looked back down at his book and continued reading.

“Yeah, we had a bit of a celebration after the presentation.” You say. “I’m just gonna fix up the laundry then go to bed.” Your words were blank and plain as you walk to the laundry room.

"Ah." He nodded a little bit, seemingly a little disappointed.

He was hoping that you'd be more forthcoming, so he could talk to you about all of this... You were really frustrating him...and you weren't making it easy to figure out. At all. Suddenly, as if his frustrations reached their final point, Ayato snapped.

"Fine. That's okay. Just do your laundry, Y/N.” He had a mocking smile on his face as he said that. Geez, what’s up with him?

You look out from the laundry room and give him a look. “You okay?”

"Perfectly fine." He had a sinister expression on his face, as he was clearly lying to you. It was obvious that he wasn't fine. His voice was dripping with malice. "I'm not fine. Not at all. And you know why." His tone was dark. He sounded as if he was on the verge of exploding as his eyes glowed in rage.

“…Okay then. Should’ve just said so.” You uttered, walking up to him before pressing your lips on his.

Like usual. Like routine. Like always.

His eyes widened in shock, as if you were crazy. He had no words, as he was completely stunned by this. He didn't move a muscle afterwards, as he just stared at you. He couldn't believe you just did that, as if you still cared about him.

The fact that he didn't immediately kiss you back should tell you, though, how he felt at the moment. He was…confused.

You pull away, noticing how absent he was. “What? Am I doing something wrong? Is this not relieving your stress anymore? Should I take it up a notch?” You were genuinely confused, why was he acting like this?

He had no words, as he was simply trying to wrap his head around what you were saying. "Take it up a notch? How much more do you want than kissing...than..."

He trailed off and didn't continue the sentence. He looked shocked, clearly not expecting the direction of the conversation to take a turn like this.

“Are you not used to it by now? Whenever you’re feeling frustrated, you’d always want this.”

"Used to it? I...you..." He was at a complete loss for words this time. After a moment, he cleared his throat. "You just...just don't care at all, do you?" He chuckled, before stopping again and looking at you seriously.

“Huh? We made an agreement? That you’d release your pent-up frustration on me?” You were lost at this point, wondering if he had bumped his head or something.

He paused for a moment, as he recalled the agreement that he had made with you. You're right...you're right...he had agreed to it...

"I...still...it feels wrong..." He trailed off again, as he wasn't really sure how to react to what you were saying.

You laughed a little, “You’re saying that now? After you and I have been doing it for months now?”

He was silent for a moment, as if he didn't want to admit it.

He was a little ashamed, in fact. He seemed embarrassed that what you had said was true. Eventually, he spoke again.

"...I guess you're right. We've been doing it for months already. I guess it's a little too late to back out of it now."

He paused again for a moment, before he continued speaking.

"...Well...in that case..."

He reached out towards you, before he softly kissed you, which you accepted.

He kept kissing you, before slowly pulling away.

His voice was softer now. There...I, uh, guess I released my frustration out...heh..." He laughed a little bit, trying to lighten the mood. But he didn't want any more, it just felt…weird.

You felt…weird too. Were you doing something wrong? Did he not like you anymore? “What’s wrong? Am I doing something wrong? You’re not usually this…hesitant.”

"No. You're not doing anything wrong."

He paused again, as he didn't want to say it.

He took a moment to think of how he would say this next. Then, he continued speaking.

"I'm just...I just feel like I'm taking advantage of you, in a way." He sighed. "It's not normal, at all. No one would allow themselves to be treated like this in a marriage. But...you still love me...despite all that..."

“…who cares? I allowed you to, anyway.” You say.

"And you would let me...let me do that to you every time I'm feeling frustrated? I...but..."

"Why would you let me do that to you Ayato was actually a little shocked that this wasn't bothering you, since it was obviously a concern for him. "What do you get out of it?"

You didn’t hesitate, you knew your answer. “I get to spend time with you.”

Hearing you say that, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He was taking advantage of you, after all, and yet...you would still care for him... He stared at you, as his feelings were mixed.

"I...so you don't care that you're being used like this...? That you're treated like..." He trailed off again, as he remembered the agreement.

"…a tool?"

You only nodded as you let out a blank but genuine “Sure.”

Ayato was in disbelief. He couldn't understand why you would allow him to treat you like this, or why it didn't bother you. "What is going on in your head?" He couldn't understand it at all. “...why don't you care that you're being used like this?" He spoke in a quiet voice, as he looked at you with a look of confusion and worry on his face.

You smile as you say, “…Because I love you.“

He paused for a moment, as he thought about it, before he finally responded, with a soft nod. "Right. You're right..." He sighed, seeming a little worried.

"I'll keep doing this, then. I'll keep taking advantage of you without any regrets...because...you seem to be okay with it..." He says, hesitantly.

“You okay?” Your head tilts in confusion.

"I'm fine. I'm just...still a little in disbelief about this." He looked at you with some concern as he lets out a chuckle. “H-How do you not find this weird...or wrong...or off-putting?"

He paused again for a moment, before he continued speaking. "I...I can't understand why you're okay with this. It's as if you're a masochist...and no one's supposed to be that much of a masochist..."

You shrug, answering honestly. It was about time he found out anyway.

“I used to find it weird…had a few regrets. But..I just didn’t want you to go back to your affairs…if this is what will make you stay…then so be it. I don’t care how rough you get, I don’t care how much you hate me. I just want you to stay. Even if this was just an arranged marriage. “

His heart broke at hearing those words, as he finally understood where you were coming from.

"What the fuck, Y/N..." Tears formed in his eyes, as his voice let out a shaky chuckle.

"I'm so sorry..." He didn't bother hiding his emotions anymore, as tears began to fall from his eyes.

“Wah! Why’re you crying?! Are you okay?” You were surprised, you hold him by the shoulder as you look up at him, trying to meet his gaze.

“You’re the one who should be crying!” He shouted. "You're the one who's been mistreated this whole time...and I don't see any tears coming from you..."

He sighed, trying to dry his tears away.

"Why are you okay with this..." He spoke in a soft voice, as he looked at you with a look of concern. He still felt guilty, of course.

You rubbed his back, still confused about what was happening. “Because I love you, why should I cry?”

He was stunned. He was confused at your words. You...you didn't mind being used and mistreated by him...

"Why...? You deserve better than that. Than me..." He trailed off, as he looked down, not wanting to meet your eye.

“…I don’t deserve better.” You utter.

“You do!” Ayato yelled. “I’m a fucking asshole! I took advantage of you! I did shitty things! And here you are, clinging to me, when you deserve so much better!”

“Then be better, Ayato!” You yelled back.

He looked at you in surprise, before he let out a nervous chuckle.

"Be better? How do you think I should do that?"

He shook his head.

"I don't think I could ever be better...not after all the terrible things I've done to you..." Tears were starting to fall from his eyes again.

"...I don't deserve you..."

You shook him by the shoulders, “Then do better to deserve me! I want no one else but you!”

He freezes as he looked into your eyes, shocked. There was only complete silence, before he softly kisses you.

You didn’t know how to feel at that point, but you could sense that…he was genuine for once.

He pulled away from the kiss, his eyes still streaming with tears as he looked at you. “I... I'll try my best to be a better man...for your sake..." He was crying, as he wiped his eyes clean. He couldn't believe what was going on.

"I'll try my best to become deserving of you...and your love..."

You sighed, hugging him, your my head on his chest. “Don’t cry.”

He sniffed, before wiping his tears once more. He tried to calm himself down, before finally hugging you back.

"I'm so sorry..." He said, as he nuzzled his head into you. "I'm so sorry that you still love me...after all of that..."

“Shhh, it’s okay..it’s okay…” you utter, rubbing his back.

He sniffled, as he nuzzled your head even further. He tried to calm himself down, so he didn't cry anymore.

"Just know... that I will protect you…”

"…I will protect you with my life."

As he spoke, he hugged you tighter.

“…I’ll deserve you one day…so please wait for me…”

A few years had passed, you and Ayato are still married. Well…now happily married. You had finally managed to come to an understanding, as he treated you with love.

He still made use of you when he was feeling frustrated, as you had agreed to it long ago. But now you understood each other. You understood exactly what each other wanted, and you wanted to be there for each other.

Even your children were happy, as you gave them so much love and affection.

Children? Oh yes…your nights of fucking paid off with 3 beautiful children.

You were a great family.

One night, as were putting your children to bed, you were carrying your youngest baby in your arms, cradling and rocking her to sleep. Ayato was tucking your two other children in bed. He watched as you rocked your baby to sleep.

Your baby looked so happy now. You also seemed to be having fun.

He smiled at seeing the scene, as he thought to himself.

"This is what happiness looks like...my family is happy..." He was glad to see that your family was all happy together. It made him realize just how lucky he was.

“Stop staring, Ayato.” You called out, feeling his gaze. “You getting emotional, hun?” you teased as you laid your infant down on their crib.

He raised an eyebrow, still smirking.

"Emotional?” He chuckled. "Am I?" He chuckled again, as he reached out, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.

"You're one to talk." He said, as he kissed you passionately, before finally breaking apart after a couple of seconds.

"I love you." He said with a smile, as he looked into your eyes, his own full of love and affection.

You smiled, “I love you, too.”

"Even though I've been using you all this time...you still love me? He looked deep into your eyes. He was so happy to hear that you loved him back. In fact, he thought maybe now was the right time... He leaned in for another kiss, as he spoke in a quiet voice. "Would you say...you'd do anything for me?”

You laughed “Yes, I would. Don’t tell me…you’re still thinking about our past, are you?”

He laughed to himself. How had you have known? "Well, I suppose I am, although I'm also thinking about our future..." He was silent, as he thought.

"You...you really would do anything for me? Just as you did back then...you're still willing to do that for me even now..." He paused for a moment, as he thought about what he would ask of you.

"You... you would marry me again... if I asked you to?"

You froze, looking up at him. “…What was that?”

"Did I stutter?"

He smirked.

"I'm...serious here..." He paused for a second.

"Would you...marry me again? Again, he paused for a moment. "After everything I've put you through..everything, and you'd still do it again..." He closed his eyes for a second, as he spoke softly. He couldn't imagine anything better than what he was about to ask for.

“I want to make this official. I don’t want to be married to you because our families want us to….”

“…This time, I want to marry you because I love you.”

"…So...will you...will you marry me?"

Well, Y/N? …Will you?

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