#abusing linguistics for fun and profit

[fyeahffa]

not winged

[not-poignant]

It's kinda nice to know that other people don't care for pushy therapists either. My first one was kinda pushy and I feel like that set my progress back until I switched to a different one. But like a lot of therapy gets portrayed as like "confronting hard truths" and such so it made me feel a bit guilty to prefer the therapist who calls herself my "talking mirror of validation" lol. I do very much enjoy reading Ef's sessions though, it's a bit like therapy without having to do the hard bits lol

Oh yeah for sure. I mean one of the reasons Dr Gary’s style is what it is, is that so many of his clients are sex offenders and criminals, and so many of those people are narcissists and people who avoid taking responsibility for themselves and don’t want to hold themselves accountable or play the blame game etc. So he has a very ‘no, that’s not true, this is actually the reality of the situation’ style because of the nature of his clients.

Efnisien is kind of outside of that window because he does acknowledge that he’s responsible for his actions (and a bunch more besides). So where Dr Gary would normally have to be ‘but you did hurt someone, but you did rape that person’ instead he’s like ‘but you’ve never killed anyone, but this isn’t something you’ve ever done.’ But you can see the echos of his normal style by how often he simply agrees with Efnisien, when Efnisien says he’s done something that he has done, by simply a ‘that’s true.’

Most clients are going to do a lot better with validation (which, by the way, so does Efnisien! We’ve seen how he responds to Dr Gary’s praise and positive regard, it’s a very powerful tool), but the reasons sex offenders might be in therapy could be because it’s court mandated, or because they think it’s a joke, or because they think it might be fun to manipulate a therapist etc. etc. etc. Dr Gary’s regular clientele are not the clientele that like 90% of therapists are seeing. So those therapists can afford to utilise much softer styles safely, but those therapists can also often be easily manipulated by - for example - sex offenders and abusers.

I think a lot of therapy in the media in general is poorly portrayed. That being said, I’m still writing fictional therapy! The only way to really find out what it’s like is actually just to see some therapists, and read about it and talk to friends or family that have gone. I’m not writing ‘real therapy.’ I’m writing something fictional. It might have more research behind it than say, Good Will Hunting, lol, but that movie also didn’t have the luxury of taking 50 hours to tell, whereas I can take as long as I like with Dr Gary and Efnisien sessions vs. say, only getting to show two or three minutes of a session in a scene.

There are very pushy therapists out there, particularly those who preach short-form therapy (i.e. the often unsuccessful ‘I can fix all your problems in 6-8 sessions! Find out how!!!’ - fine if you just want to change your job and are stressed about it, absolutely crap at just about the majority disorders out there; better for short term problems, long actual disorder-based issues, though trust me, they’ll swear it’s not the case), and those who have departed from things like cognitive behavioural therapy straight into NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) and other pseudosciences. Generally speaking those therapists will 100% blame you if their techniques aren’t working, and won’t actually suggest any other techniques except for the one or two things they know, and seem to have no idea how to recommend other therapists or other styles. They will get maximum profits and then send you away (if you haven’t already left) thinking that’s reflective of the entire experience.

Conversely, therapists who see a client forever are also not necessarily doing their clients any favours, but that’s a whole other thing that I’m not going to get into today. It’s a very US-model of therapy, at any rate, so it’s not likely to be encountered here.

Therapy can confront hard truths, but for most people that’s a lot easier to do in a space of validation, acceptance and non-judgement, which means in many cases successful therapy can initially ‘feel’ gentler at least in terms of how the therapist speaks to you, and you do all that hard confrontation yourself, either in the session or between sessions. Just telling someone something like: ‘you’re avoiding all your issues because you don’t want to get hurt’ (as Dr Gary did) is not a successful technique (though I don’t think Dr Gary said it to necessarily be successful, some of his therapy style is also seeding ideas into Efnisien’s head and leaving them for Efnisien to percolate on for weeks/months/years lmao). Very few people are going to change anything in the moment from hearing that, even if they think ‘oh my god that’s true.’

It’s not illustrating any successful strategies for dealing with it. It’s not exploring why a person might feel that way. It’s not investigating why that’s so much more preferrable than all the other options. It’s not constructive homework that a client can work on. The client might objectively know it’s true, but that doesn’t mean it’s internalised, or that the client immediately knows what to reverse to ‘fix’ it. On its own, confrontation looks impressive on TV and in film, but it’s not useful without all the other stuff that is kind of boring to put on TV or film.

Even in Falling Falling Stars, I have the luxury of starting after 3 years of intensive therapy already, I can shortcut through a lot of groundwork that Dr Gary and Efnisien have already done together. Someone else might go to therapy for the first time expecting that kind of rapport (or any rapport) with their therapist, only to forget that I literally glossed over 3 years of all the work that happens before reaching a rapport like that.

ANYWAY, lots of rambling and thoughts about therapy and I’m going to shut up now ldskfjafsad

[basicsofislam]

ISLAM 101: Muslim Culture and Character: Morals And Manners: TEASING AND MOCKING

The Qur’an commands that people should not make fun of, embarrass, or ridicule one another, nor call each other by unbecoming nicknames. This is an important principle if there are to be good relations among people in a community.

O you who believe! Let not some people among you deride another people, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let some women deride other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor defame one another (and provoke the same for yourselves in retaliation), nor insult one another with nicknames (that your brothers and sisters dislike). Evil is using names with vile meaning after (those so addressed have accepted) the faith (– doing so is like replacing a mark of faith with a mark of transgression). Whoever (does that and then) does not turn to God in repen- tance, (giving up doing so), those are indeed wrongdoers. (Hujurat 49:11)

Here I will address the issues in this verse, using Elmalili Hamdi Yazir as a source, but attempting to simplify his ideas. After the verse opens with a call to believers to conscientiously treat each other well, it inspires believers to do so with the great- est sincerity, indicating that this will make it possible for many more nations and people to perceive and accept the beauty of Islam. Then, this verse goes on from generally fostering brother- hood to teaching people the adab of how to treat each other, both face to face and when apart. There were several events that occa- sioned the revelation of this verse:

1. According to a narration from Dahhaq, several people from the tribe of Banu Tamim teased and mocked Companions like Bilal al-Habashi, Habbab, Ammar, Suhayb, Abu Dharr, Salim, and Mawla Hudayfa.

2. Aisha said she used to tease Zaynab bint Huzayma al-Hila- liyya for being short. Likewise she and Hafsa talked be- tween themselves about how short Umm Salama was.

3. Ibn Abbas relates that Safiyya bint Huyayy once came to the Messenger and said, “The women call me ‘Jew, daughter of a Jew’ to tease me.” The Messenger replied, “Why do you not reply, ‘My father was Aaron, my uncle was Moses, and my husband is Muhammad’?”

4. Thabit ibn Qays was partially deaf and therefore when he was near the Prophet, other people would let him through the crowd so he could come closer to hear. One day he came and started going through the others, saying, “Move, make room.” One man did not pay attention, and Thabit became offended and asked, “Who is this?” The man told him his name. The other retorted, “No, you are the son of the woman who—” attributing him to a woman known for indecency. The man was embarrassed, and when this verse was revealed, Thabit never talked about nobleness by birth again.

5. Ikrima, the son of Abu Jahl (Islam’s most determined en- emy), became Muslim, but he was called “Son of the Pharaoh of the community of believers.” This upset him and he told the Prophet about it.41

According to Qurtubi, to mock someone means that one is looking down on them, insulting them, putting them down, and talking about their faults in order to ridicule them. Razi says from a community point of view, mocking another person means “showing one’s believing brother or sister less than their deserved respect and honor, approaching them in an uncomplimentary way.” In the above verse the words qawm (tribe) and nisa (wom- en) are used, which in Arabic denotes the men and the women of the community. There are other linguistic clues as well which prove this. The concept of the community is important in this verse in several ways:

1. It serves as a reminder that Islam is not a religion solely for private practice, but is meant to be lived as a community.

2. It shows that mocking others can cause serious problems and individuals must cease to practice such behavior.

3. The verse also implies that this action or habit on the part of one individual becomes like a sickness that affects the whole community, as a person who mocks others will al- ways have some hangers-on laughing at the jokes and try- ing to become their friend by doing the same. If any ques- tion remains as to why such actions are forbidden, every believer should be concerned about the final reason: It may be that, in God’s sight, the one who is mocked is ac- tually better than the one who is mocking. For we can on- ly know the outer appearance of others; God alone knows their hearts. We are not capable of knowing what level of value a person has in front of God. Therefore, no one has the right to belittle, look down on, or make fun of anoth- er person because of some outward appearance or action; this may be misleading. If the person we mock is greatly loved by God and we show them disrespect, then surely we will have wronged our own soul as well as that of the person. In other words, making fun of others is wrong in two ways: First, if a Muslim mocks another believer, they are mocking themselves, since we are all like one body. Second, if a person does something shameful, it brings shame most of all on their own soul. Thus, the verse can be paraphrased like this: “Do not mock, embarrass, or be- little believers; for to do so is to mock, embarrass, and be- little yourself.” Or, if we look at it from the second aspect, “When you make a fool of someone or demean them, the result is that you have made a fool of yourself and besmirched your own name.” In other words, the first meaning is more to do with brotherhood, while the second meaning pertains to the honor and dignity of our individual soul.

A nickname is given either to honor someone or to bring them down in some way. The verse uses the word nabz to refer to epithets with derogatory meanings; these are forbidden. On the other hand, it is permissible to give or use positive epithets. According to Kashshaf, the Prophet said, “One of the rights of a believer over his believing brother is to be called by the name he loves most.” This is why giving a beautiful epithet is Sunna, in ac- cordance with the Prophet’s example. Some of the Companions had such kunya, or respectful but intimate names. Most societies have such epithets. But any kind of derogatory term of abuse should be avoided. Calling someone by a derogatory name is fisq, or deviant, immoral behavior, so a person doing this is considered to be ignoring the ethics of Islam. This is a very serious situation for anyone to find themselves in. Knowing that this brings serious punishment and a state that is less than true practice and belief, one should actively and carefully avoid calling other people names or mocking them.42

MAKING A MOCKERY OF FAITH

Another related topic addressed in the Qur’an is a type of hypoc- risy. This occurs when people act one way while with believers, but make fun of the believers when they are not with them, thus showing their hidden identity. Just as believers should not make fun of one another, they should also exercise common sense and avoid making themselves the butt of others’ jokes by speaking of their beliefs among people who may mock them once they leave. In Sura Baqara it is written:

When they meet those who believe, they declare (hypocritically), “We believe”; but when they are alone in secret with their (apparently human) satans (to whom they hasten in need to renew their unbelief and their pledge to them for fear of losing their support), they say, “Assuredly we are with you; we only mock (those others).” (Since what they do only means demanding straying and ridicule,) God returns their mockery, leaving them to wander blindly on in their rebellion. Such are the ones who have bought straying in exchange for guidance, but their trade has brought no profit, and they have no way out to escape it. (Baqara 2:14–16)

There is no question about how despicable this kind of behav- ior is morally; such people cannot be called believers. They show a friendly, fawning face toward believers while they are with them, but only so that they can hide their true, malicious intentions. Then when they get together with the evildoing mischief-makers, they say, “We are truly with you and were only acting; trust us.” The more they swear their allegiance, the more they are actually confirming their treachery, pitting themselves against the believers with their fellow conspirators. Such an action is against basic de- cency and morality, as these people are mocking and devaluing be- lief itself; thus, it is easy to understand why such an attitude is one of the markers of unbelief (kufr).

To ridicule someone, even in jest, means to violate their hon- or and dignity. Most people who make fun of believers do not have the courage to insult them; if they do, then insult reflects badly on the person uttering it, not on the one they are insulting. But when people insult believers, God and the whole universe will hold them in contempt, whether they realize it or not, even if they think that their action is concealed. Without a doubt it must be the greatest burden to have such a thing on one’s conscience.43

[cksmart-world]

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

Dec. 3, 2019

THE RIGHT TO LIFE & BEAR ARMS

Everybody knows life begins at fertilization. The sperm and egg unite, two cells become four, and  voilà — an embryo. This truth is non-negotiable. If a political candidate does not believe in “right to life,” then forget about it. Women do not have the freedom to choose what's going on with their own bodies, even in the case of rape or incest. Every life is precious and we must close all the embryo-killing abortion clinics immediately. And while we're considering morality and patriotism, it's also a truism that the 2nd Amendment guarantees everyone's right to own a gun, whether it be a snub-nosed .38 or an AR-15. “A well regulated Militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed.” (Don't pay any attention to the “well regulated Militia” part). Of course, there are mass shootings going on every day in this country. But all those corpses piling up are just collateral damage — the price of freedom, as Bill O'Reilly likes to say. You see, life in the womb is precious; at Walmart or middle school, not so much.

IMPEACHMENT GLOSSARY

Soon the Senate will conduct the impeachment trial of President Donald J. Trump for alleged bribery, obstruction of justice and abuse of power regarding interactions with Ukraine. In order to help Americans understand the complexities of this historic event, the linguists here at Smart Bomb have assembled a hands-on glossary for political neophytes. To get oriented, we first turn to George Orwell for definitions such as: freedom is slavery; ignorance is strength; and war is peace. As has been reported recently on Fox News Channel For Real Americans, the term “whistleblower” in this context really means “lying sonofabitch.” And according to a forensic analysis of the July 25 phone call between Trump and Ukraine President Zalensky, quid pro quo is Pig-Latin for “Go ahead, make my day.” One subject that is bound to come up is “Burisma,” the name of a Ukrainian energy company. But here, Burisma actually is jargon for, “Joe Biden will sleep with the fishes.” And the phrase, “Check with Rudy,” has been revealed as double-speak for, “nobody fingers the White House or it's curtains.” During the trial, Republican senators are bound to bandy about the term “CrowdStrike” in an effort to indict Ukraine for  meddling in the 2016 election. The subtext, however, indicates the real meaning is, “pure bullshit.”

AIR POLLUTION & BRAIN DAMAGE

A new scientific study reveals that air pollution leads to Alzheimer-like brain atrophy. (We are not making this up.) The findings from University of Southern California are the result of a scientific study of 998 women ages to 73 to 87. Alzheimer’s is the fourth-leading cause of death in Utah, according to Deseret News scoop Amy Joi O'Donoghue. Pollution can get so bad along the Wasatch Front that it's rated as some of the filthiest air in the country. Here, at Smart Bomb, we have have determined that air pollution impacts men's mental abilities, as well. Our team of crack researchers came to that conclusion by studying the actions of the male-dominated Utah Legislature. For example, Utah lawmakers recently determined to help low-income workers by imposing a new food tax, clearly indicating some kind of mental impairment. As you may know, the Capitol Building is located near Interstate 15 and the oil refineries — a double-whammy of air pollution. And it's no secret that legislators have been resistant to clean air initiatives, largely because they keep forgetting about them — a Catch 22 or sorts. Actually that explains a whole lot things.

BLACK FRIDAY CAPTURES X-MAS SPIRIT

American shoppers charged bazillions of dollars on their credit cards Nov. 29 — Black Friday. Among other things, Black Friday keeps the economy humming. Not just here, but in every country that imports to the U.S. We are the world's consumers — the bedrock of capitalism. Shopping is our way of celebrating the birth of Jesus of Nazareth, who everyone knows was way into new stuff and consumption. (Actually, Jesus wasn't born on Dec. 25, but Christians usurped the Pagan Winter Solstice celebration. But we digress.) The origins of the term “Black Friday” are up for debate. Most recently, it is believed to be the day that retailers broke into the black, as in black ink — profit. Another story is that the day after Thanksgiving was a traditional time that slave traders put their products — human beings — on sale before winter set in. How American can you get? But the story that rings true is that the term “Black Friday” was coined in Philadelphia in 1961 by cops overwhelmed by all the extra traffic created by hordes of shoppers heading for the city’s downtown stores (remember them?), long before Jeff Bezos was even a twinkle in his mother's eye.

Post Script — Well that's it for another fun-filled week here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of Michael Bloomberg's election campaign spending so you don't have to. Time flies — the presidential election is now only 11 months away: Think of running a marathon barefoot on a Mojave highway in July with blisters on your feet. Coincidentally, the rate of clinical depression across the country is up sharply and the birthrate is down. No Wilson, we don't know if they've tried marijuana gummy bears. But listen, this is the holiday season and we ought to be focusing on joy, the spirit of giving and eggnog. Think good thoughts, like the Runnin' Utes ranked 5th in NCAA football (pinch yourself, it's real); the New England Patriots losing again; there's snow in the mountains; the lights are on at Temple Square; and nobody's dropping bombs on us from drones flying overhead (a different kind of giving we save for the Middle East).

All right, Wilson, wake up the band and take us into the festive season with something special: We were born before the wind / Also younger than the sun / Ere the bonnie boat was won / As we sailed into the mystic / Hark, now hear the sailors cry / Smell the sea and feel the sky / Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic...

[basicsofislam]

ISLAM 101: Muslim Culture and Character: Morals And Manners: Part 19

TEASING AND MOCKING

The Qur’an commands that people should not make fun of, embarrass, or ridicule one another, nor call each other by unbecoming nicknames. This is an important principle if there are to be good relations among people in a community.

O you who believe! Let not some people among you deride another people, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let some women deride other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor defame one another (and provoke the same for yourselves in retaliation), nor insult one another with nicknames (that your brothers and sisters dislike). Evil is using names with vile meaning after (those so addressed have accepted) the faith (– doing so is like replacing a mark of faith with a mark of transgression). Whoever (does that and then) does not turn to God in repentance, (giving up doing so), those are indeed wrongdoers. (Hujurat 49:11)

Here I will address the issues in this verse, using Elmalili Hamdi Yazir as a source, but attempting to simplify his ideas. After the verse opens with a call to believers to conscientiously treat each other well, it inspires believers to do so with the great- est sincerity, indicating that this will make it possible for many more nations and people to perceive and accept the beauty of Islam. Then, this verse goes on from generally fostering brotherhood to teaching people the adab of how to treat each other, both face to face and when apart. There were several events that occasioned the revelation of this verse: 1. According to a narration from Dahhaq, several people from the tribe of Banu Tamim teased and mocked Companions like Bilal al-Habashi, Habbab, Ammar, Suhayb, Abu Dharr, Salim, and Mawla Hudayfa.

2. Aisha said she used to tease Zaynab bint Huzayma al-Hila- liyya for being short. Likewise, she and Hafsa talked between themselves about how short Umm Salama was. 3. Ibn Abbas relates that Safiyya bint Huyayy once came to the Messenger and said, “The women call me ‘Jew, daughter of a Jew’ to tease me.” The Messenger replied, “Why do you not reply, ‘My father was Aaron, my uncle was Moses, and my husband is Muhammad’?” 4. Thabit ibn Qays was partially deaf and therefore when he was near the Prophet, other people would let him through the crowd so he could come closer to hear. One day he came and started going through the others, saying, “Move, make room.” One man did not pay attention, and Thabit became offended and asked, “Who is this?” The man told him his name. The other retorted, “No, you are the son of the woman who—” attributing him to a woman known for indecency. The man was embarrassed, and when this verse was revealed, Thabit never talked about nobleness by birth again. 5. Ikrima, the son of Abu Jahl (Islam’s most determined enemy), became Muslim, but he was called “Son of the Pharaoh of the community of believers.” This upset him and he told the Prophet about it.41 According to Qurtubi, to mock someone means that one is looking down on them, insulting them, putting them down, and talking about their faults in order to ridicule them. Razi says from a community point of view, mocking another person means “showing one’s believing brother or sister less than their deserved respect and honor, approaching them in an uncomplimentary way.” In the above verse, the words qawm (tribe) and nisa (women) are used, which in Arabic denotes the men and the women of the community. There are other linguistic clues as well which prove this. The concept of the community is important in this verse in several ways:

1. It serves as a reminder that Islam is not a religion solely for private practice, but is meant to be lived as a community. 2. It shows that mocking others can cause serious problems and individuals must cease to practice such behavior. 3. The verse also implies that this action or habit on the part of one individual becomes like a sickness that affects the whole community, as a person who mocks others will always have some hangers-on laughing at the jokes and try- ing to become their friend by doing the same. If any question remains as to why such actions are forbidden, every believer should be concerned about the final reason: It may be that, in God’s sight, the one who is mocked is actually better than the one who is mocking. For we can only know the outer appearance of others; God alone knows their hearts. We are not capable of knowing what level of value a person has in front of God. Therefore, no one has the right to belittle, look down on, or make fun of another person because of some outward appearance or action; this may be misleading. If the person we mock is greatly loved by God and we show them disrespect, then surely we will have wronged our own soul as well as that of the person. In other words, making fun of others is wrong in two ways: First, if a Muslim mocks another believer, they are mocking themselves, since we are all like one body. Second, if a person does something shameful, it brings shame most of all on their own soul. Thus, the verse can be paraphrased like this: “Do not mock, embarrass, or belittle believers; for to do so is to mock, embarrass, and belittle yourself.” Or, if we look at it from the second aspect, “When you make a fool of someone or demean them, the result is that you have made a fool of yourself and besmirched your own name.” In other words, the first meaning is more to do with brotherhood, while the second meaning pertains to the honor and dignity of our individual soul.

A nickname is given either to honor someone or to bring them down in some way. The verse uses the word nabz to refer to epithets with derogatory meanings; these are forbidden. On the other hand, it is permissible to give or use positive epithets. According to Kashshaf, the Prophet said, “One of the rights of a believer over his believing brother is to be called by the name he loves most.” This is why giving a beautiful epithet is Sunna, in accordance with the Prophet’s example. Some of the Companions had such kunya, or respectful but intimate names. Most societies have such epithets. But any kind of derogatory term of abuse should be avoided. Calling someone by a derogatory name is fisq, or deviant, immoral behavior, so a person doing this is considered to be ignoring the ethics of Islam. This is a very serious situation for anyone to find themselves in. Knowing that this brings serious punishment and a state that is less than true practice and belief, one should actively and carefully avoid calling other people names or mocking them.

MAKING A MOCKERY OF FAITH

Another related topic addressed in the Qur’an is a type of hypocrisy. This occurs when people act one way while with believers, but make fun of the believers when they are not with them, thus showing their hidden identity. Just as believers should not make fun of one another, they should also exercise common sense and avoid making themselves the butt of others’ jokes by speaking of their beliefs among people who may mock them once they leave. In Sura Baqara it is written: When they meet those who believe, they declare (hypocritically), “We believe”; but when they are alone in secret with their (apparently human) satans (to whom they hasten in need to renew their unbelief and their pledge to them for fear of losing their support), they say, “Assuredly we are with you; we only mock (those others).” (Since what they do only means demanding straying and ridicule,) God returns their mockery, leaving them to wander blindly on in their rebellion. Such are the ones who have bought straying in exchange for guidance, but their trade has brought no profit, and they have no way out to escape it. (Baqara 2:14–16)

There is no question about how despicable this kind of behavior is moral; such people cannot be called believers. They show a friendly, fawning face toward believers while they are with them, but only so that they can hide their true, malicious intentions. Then when they get together with the evildoing mischief-makers, they say, “We are true with you and were only acting; trust us.” The more they swear their allegiance, the more they are actually confirming their treachery, pitting themselves against the believers with their fellow conspirators. Such an action is against basic decency and morality, as these people are mocking and devaluing belief itself; thus, it is easy to understand why such an attitude is one of the markers of unbelief (kufr). To ridicule someone, even in jest, means to violate their honor and dignity. Most people who make fun of believers do not have the courage to insult them; if they do, then insult reflects badly on the person uttering it, not on the one they are insulting. But when people insult believers, God and the whole universe will hold them in contempt, whether they realize it or not, even if they think that their action is concealed. Without a doubt, it must be the greatest burden to have such a thing on one’s conscience.