Tumgik
#acceptance of herself would be well expressed through her romantic situation and would also be related to the theme of
dubiousdisco · 2 years
Text
Really woke up at 3 am just to make the favorita post of the day. There we go:
Donatela has two hands.
8 notes · View notes
narhinafan · 5 months
Note
I think Naruto only fell in love with Hinata due to the Genjutsu scene. In realistic situations, without being forced, he would have never thought of her like that. He was never romantically interested in her. It honestly makes me think he was guilt tripped into returning her feelings because she had loved him for so long. After the Pain incident, he never really cared if she was okay or not. Honestly, I think Hinata deserved better. She could have been with someone who could truly love her without being manipulated by a genjutsu trap.
Nope Naruto has been steadily showing increased interest in Hinata through out the manga. This started from early on the series from the Chunin exams and beyond. In the manga when Naruto checks on Hinata after the Neji fight it actually looks like he placed his hand on hers and then you have the proud failure speech and him saying he likes girls like her. An iconic moment for the ship was how Naruto astonished and touched Naruto was from her speech we even get him blushing. Not only that, but Hinata picking up Naruto every time he is about to give up has been a trend in the series whenever Naruto is about to go back on his nindo its always Hinata who shares his nindo who sets him straight and he is grateful towards her for doing so.
The Pain fight not only shows how much Naruto cares about Hinata through causing his seal to break, but his relief finding out she lived and how he clutches his heart in tears expresses that Hinata had already become someone special for him. What showed this even more was when went berserk he subconsciously avoided Hinata and got Pain away from her. In the manga there is even a scene where it seems like six tails Naruto was looking at Hinata before pursing Pain. Those are all things Naruto has never once shown or done, while in his nine tailed state and that was the worse he lost control all through out the series.
Naruto did care about her after the Pain incident a lot was going, but during the war when his clone saves her you can see the connection and he was even able to understand and know what Hinata was thinking by her eyes when she started doubting herself. Then you have how it shows Naruto trying to rush to her when infinite tsukuyomi took her.
During the course of the series Naruto was steadily falling for Hinata its subtle, but is there. Even without the genjutsu they were going to be as the genjutsu only allowed Naruto to realise his feelings for Hinata that were already there. In the canon novels pre last it mentions that Naruto and Hinata became closer after the war without any genjutsu involved. Naruto had already falling for Hinata a long time ago just that he didn't realise it and the last actually set up for him to realise and get with Hinata in multiple a ways.
At the start of film it shows that despite all the affection and gifts Naruto was getting from everyone he felt hollow and those gifts to compare to how happy he felt getting the scarf his mother left behind. Hinata's gift would have stood out among all the others he got as not only was it handmade, but also coming from somthing who truly cares about him. Without the whole Toneri situation Hinata would have ended up confessing to Naruto and he would have without a doubt accepted on the spot or end up thinking and realising he loved Hinata. The movie actually shows Naruto taking time to sort out his own feelings before confessing as well. All Naruto needed a push to kick the process off which was inevitable it didn't have to be the genjutsu that was just done to speed up and see Hinata's pov.
Naruto truly loves Hinata, she was his first and true love as stated by Kishimoto. Now the love story could have been told better, but that doesn't change the fact they both love each other and were meant to be.
23 notes · View notes
voidcommascreamintothe · 11 months
Note
I really like your posts, they are so well thought out and well written. I have to ask, what are your thoughts on Elain and Lucien? I'd love your analysis. Do you think they will end up together?
Have a lovely day!
Hello anon,
Thank you so much for your kind message 🫶
This question is something I’ve wanted to talk about for some time so bless you for giving the me opportunity.
Elucien is endgame. As I have talked about previously, Maas writes HEA, so of course they will end up together. But I need the fandom to understand that Elain is well within her right to ignore him, and possibly reject the bond. I don’t really like Elain, I can’t connect to her in the same way as I did with Nesta and even Feyre, but when I saw her ignoring Lucien, I felt her pain and how impossibly overwhelmed she must be.
She was in love with a human man, who now hates her very being. She has to grieve not only the relationship but also the life she would’ve had with him. And she is not asking for help or guidance. If Nesta represents the anger and acceptance stage of grief, Elain is denial (and possibly bargaining). What has always angered me about the Inner Circus’ treatment of the sisters, is that they never extend the same curtsey to them as they did to Feyre. Feyre was allowed to grieve and sulk for months. And even Amren came to her aid once. But not Elain, and especially not Nesta. They only know Nesta from Feyre’s perspective, and lets be honest here, that is not the whole story. The same can be said about Elain.
Middle child to the core, she is overlooked and not taken seriously. She clearly expresses her grievances about how her trauma effected her sisters, but not how it effected her. She stood up for Nesta during the dinner scene in ACOMAF, sharing the blame for Feyre’s burdens, and yet that tidbit is seemingly forgotten by everyone else, including this fandom.
So, when she is seen as docile and in need of coddling, do you think her grief would be taken seriously? Do you think they will stop and think about her needs? Will they understand and hear her statement that she needs to do things on her own? Or will they scoff and regards her refusal of Lucien as an inconvenience?
It is a known fact that Lucien is from the Seasonal Courts where you can simply stake your claim on your mate. Rhysand knows this, and being someone who sacrifices family for the sake of politics, he intervenes between Elain and Azriel, prioritizing Lucien’s diplomatic talents over his own sister-in-law and a person he regards as a brother.
I like Lucien. He will end up with Elain. But the way that the story gets there can make or break it for me. Elain must have her time to accept Lucien on her own terms, and Lucien must stop annoying her. It irks me beyond reason how he just keeps persisting and keeps giving her gifts. Give her room to breathe for Cauldron’s sake!
I feel like by the end of ACOSF, Nesta does let go of her feeling of betrayal on Elain’s part and lets her be by herself - this is done through them being practically low/no contact for a while. And yet Nesta is made out to be the one giving up on her sister yet again. So much misinterpretations of canon! This gave me a headache, and I wish I had that tonic Elain gave Azriel.
Will she reject the bond? No, but it should be ok if she does. Will she and Lucien be together? Yea, this is romantic fantasy, they will be (hopefully on their own terms).
This is hopefully a good answer to your question anon, and I hope I gave a good analysis of their situation.
Have a lovely day 🫶
13 notes · View notes
unohanabbygirl · 1 year
Note
Hey there, in FMN, I'm having a bit of trouble grasping the dynamic between Jace and Aegon. It's like I'm Luke in the last chapter, talking with Baela. I mean, I get a kick out of how Luke teases Jace about being in the 'closet bi' and how when he mentioned it to Aegon, he chuckled as well. Is it just me or did my dyslexia mess up my reading? But it kinda feels like Aegon's also curious about how this whole dynamic works, haha. Not true, of course, but I'm genuinely intrigued by how it's all gonna unfold.
Its fine! I understand how their whole dynamic is difficult to get a good read on so allow me to explain ☺️
What I enjoy about their whole situation is that its meant to be messy and confusing. In the past Jace and Aegon were basically attached at the hip and I would even go as far as to say they had a budding love slowly coming to the surface through their friendship that was destroyed the night of Driftmark.
Though they’ve been able to move on in current day, their friendship hasn’t been able to actually go back to the way it was the first time around like their mothers have (I’d say Rhaenicent are even closer now than they were as teens). Too many memories of betrayal and cruelty have made Jace unable to truly accept Aegon as his close companion again. Though his love for him makes itself known through everyday actions such as defending him from Aemond’s insults, batting for him in arguments and allowing him in his personal space despite acting as if Aegon is the most annoying person in the world.
Its basically just Jace being repressed, scared that if he does openly accept Aegon that he’s somehow be betraying the person he used to be. The heir to the throne and hardcore black loyalist that still lives within him to a certain degree.
Aegon knows he wants to be with Jace as a partner but hasn’t put much thought into it being a romantic or sexual partnership until Luke pointed it out to him which he likes way more than just being the annoying friend. Now going forward he has the idea of them be together with a deeper meaning but doesn’t really know how to express it in a way that’ll make Jace understand since any deep feelings and wants outside of sex are foreign to him.
There’s also a bit of tension between Aegon and Baela. They’re attracted to each other for sure, but for very different reasons. Aegon thinks she’s attractive in both looks and her fiery nature. Her will and ability to express herself without a second thought as to who may judge her. On the opposite end, Baela is attracted to Aegon because she knows how much Jace cares for him.
Its messy but messiness is expected with this sort of thing.
7 notes · View notes
acacia-may · 2 years
Text
Mitsuri Kanroji Red Roses [Romance Headcanons]
Tumblr media
As part of my Rose Garden Headcanons (Valentine's Day) Event 🌹, here is a bouquet of Red Roses (Romance Headcanons)❤️ for Mitsuri below the cut!
Thank you so much for the ask and the opportunity to write some headcanons for Demon Slayer! 🥰 Definitely thinking about it a lot recently since Season 3 is coming out soon, and Mitsuri has always been a particular favourite of mine. I hope you'll like what I've come up with for her!
(Warnings: Vaguely discusses some of Mitsuri's insecurities. Maybe, maybe some incredibly vague spoilers/hints at spoilers if you squint and stand on your head, but absolutely nothing specific is mentioned).
R1. Are they a particularly romantic person? What do they consider to be the ideal romantic gesture?
Absolutely! As the Love Hashira, Mitsuri absolutely adores all things related to love and romance. However, this does not necessarily mean that she is constantly wishing for big, grand romantic gestures. Even objectively small and everyday gestures are treasured romantic gestures to Mitsuri. Her ideal romantic gesture is something thoughtful and from the heart no matter how big or small, and she especially loves receiving gifts, words of praise and encouragement, and verbal expressions of love from her beloved.
All of that said, Mitsuri also has a deep appreciation for what is probably the "Ultimate" romantic gesture: laying down one's life for their beloved. Mitsuri would not hesitate to die for her loved ones, and though she would never expect or want someone to do the same for her, she would consider her beloved's willingness to make the ultimate sacrifice to protect her an indescribable expression of love. As a demon slayer Mitsuri certainly has more opportunities than most to be in a situation in which she or her beloved (assuming she falls for someone else in the Corps) could die for each other; however, she still understands that most people do not get the chance to make that ultimate sacrifice for love and instead are given the opportunity to make little sacrifices for each other every day as part of sharing a life together. Those small, everyday sacrifices of sticking by someone even when things are difficult and doing what's best for the person you love even if it's not what you want for yourself really mean the world to her as well.
R2. How would they tell you they loved you? (For instance, would they use words--planned out in a speech or accidentally blurted out? Or would they prefer to show you they loved you through their actions?)
Mitsuri definitely wants to express her love with words; however, she may be a little bit shy about this so it could take a while (especially if she thinks her affection isn't reciprocated and/or if she has a deep friendship with her beloved that she worries about messing up by expressing her (supposedly unrequited) feelings). Eventually though, she will blurt out "I love you" if she hadn't told you already--most likely followed by a bright red blush in her cheeks and stumbling, embarrassed apologies. While she is being shy about expressing her love in words, Mitsuri will show her love by spending time with her beloved as there really is nothing she loves more than being in the company of the person she loves. She can also be very complimentary with her words and tries to build her beloved up with praise and encouragement whenever she can.
R3. What do they look for in a romantic relationship? What would make them feel the most loved and supported by a significant other?
Ideally, Mitsuri is looking for a romantic relationship in which both her and her significant other truly know and understand each other and love and accept each other anyway. Mitsuri is insecure about parts of herself and, in the past, has felt that she needs to hide those aspects of who she is in order to have a chance at love and a relationship. Her dream, however, is to find someone who loves her just the way she is, in spite of or even because of those things she considers "flaws" in herself.
Her dreams for a relationship are also very domestic. She wants a relationship with someone she can imagine sharing her life with, settling down and having a family with, and eventually growing old with, and she wants the kind of relationship where she and her beloved love each other's company, laugh and smile together, and support each other through the good and bad times. As much as she is a bit of hopeless romantic, at root, there is a part of Mitsuri that wants to fall in love with a friend she can spend a lifetime with, in addition to wanting to be a swept off her feet.
Mitsuri feels most loved and supported when she is being encouraged and complimented by her beloved. She tends to need that verbal reassurance sometimes, and it means the world to be to be told that her efforts are noticed and appreciated and that someone thinks she is wonderful and cares about her. She also adores small but thoughtful gestures like little, unexpected gifts (especially if it is something she wanted or needed). Spending quality time together is also another big way Mitsuri feels loves and supported. Carving time out of a busy schedule to devote to spending just with her and enjoying her company really means the world to her and tells her that she is loved and cherished.
R4. How would they react to being in love? Would they want to keep it a secret--would they even be able to? Would they be awkward about it or take it all in stride?
Mitsuri is no stranger to being in love, and it is definitely a very emotionally charged thing for her. She certainly feels that rush, those butterflies in her stomach, and that pounding heartbeat (Tachycardia, as Shinobu corrects tells her, urging her to get that looked at...😝). Mitsuri is fairly self-aware when it comes to her own feelings and accepts them, but she would be shy and nervous about expressing how she feels and would probably blush beet red and try (and fail) to deny her affections if someone else asked her about them. She can also be pretty dense at times when it comes to the feelings of other people for her, so even if her beloved was obviously in love with her, she would likely think her love was not reciprocated, causing her to try to hide and bury her feelings even more. For this reason, she may be a little more shy around her beloved and feel a little bit awkward, but for the most part, she wouldn't treat the one she loved any differently than before or at least she wouldn't try to.
R5. What is a love song that really suits them and why?
"All About Your Heart" by Mindy Gledhill really suits Mitsuri because it's an upbeat but sweet love song about truly loving and accepting another person. Like Mitsuri, the singer recognizes both the strengths and the flaws in people but chooses to focus on the good in them, always believing that what is most important is that they have a good heart. Mitsuri definitely loves in this way and more than that, wants to be loved in this way as well. She wants to be told that her flaws and the things she is insecure about in herself do not define her and, in fact, that her beloved loves her little quirks because they make her who she is. When it comes to love, Mitsuri truly believes that "It's not about your scars/It's all about your heart," and she really just wants someone to believe that about her as well.
Mindy Gledhill - All About Your Heart - YouTube
Bonus: Just because this was your request, Erika, I'm also adding "Be My Heart" by Victoria Carbol. I'm not going to discuss it to avoid spoilers for anyone else who might see this post, but I feel like this song kind of speaks for itself... [A/N: I've never read and know absolutely nothing about the series this song was actually written about, but I think it's pretty spot on for Mitsuri (and a particular ship...)]
Be my eyes when I've gone blind Be my hands when scarred are mine Be my lungs when I stop breathing If you're my heart, it won't stop beating Be my heart, be my heart Let my love guide you through this dark Oh, be my heart, Be my heart Love that burns like the skin we marked
Be My Heart - YouTube
6 notes · View notes
edelbloed · 4 months
Note
chrysanthemum, daisy
❖ BOTANICAL MEMES : accepting.
chrysanthemum : how does your muse express romantic love ? how do they feel about love as a concept ?
In theory, it's not something Dorothea goes out searching for. Both as a mage and as a woman of her era, it's more of a luxury than a priority; as a concept, she'd probably shelve it into 'not meant for her' and focus on more important things — Mystics and trade, for starters. In practice, however, she doesn't have much resistance built up and would probably crumble in the face of experiencing actual romantic love.
She's no stranger to courting and garden-variety flirting, but sincerity ? Earnest passion ? That's a much different playing field, and she'd be at a bit of a loss; even the tiniest bit of genuine, profound expression on her part can leave her blushing all the way to the ears. But gradually, her adaptability would kick in and she'd adjust to the experience. After all, just because she wouldn't search for it doesn't mean she'd shun it entirely.
As for expression, it really depends on the situation and the one who holds her affection. In some cases, she may easily go overboard; for example, if they offhandedly mentioned liking something in a store display she'd buy it and anything else remotely like it and present it to them within the week. In other cases, it may be a more subdued and subtle love — extending herself far beyond what could be considered an equal trade, going far out of her way and pulling however many favors just to make them smile, and expecting nothing in return. Generally speaking, though, romantic love for her means being regarded as each other's equals and knowing everything there is to know about that person — and the love languages she does best are most definitely acts of service and quality time.
daisy : did your muse ever feel as though their innocence had been lost ? what moment in their life could be described as the end of their innocence ?
I don't think Dorothea herself would see it as a loss of innocence at any particular point. She takes to magecraft like water, she's learned the ins and outs of commerce, and she's well-educated in the sort of rounded way that nobility could afford back then; she's also the type to want to pay that knowledge forward, use her privilege to improve the lives of others that cross her path. To her, her life is simply her life and she enjoys the challenges and hurdles that come with it — they keep things exciting. Something like the Waxing Moon Ritual is, in her own words, a stepping stone towards grander things.
Having said that, I feel like her innocence was lost at a fairly early age simply because of who she is and especially who her family is. As not only the daughter of the head of a global trading company but the soon-to-be heir of their magecraft affairs, something that was likely decided very early, it's safe to assume her life would be an exceptionally valuable thing for humans and mages alike. It's no mistake that she was the Master of Assassin, and it's also no coincidence that she was able to make contingency plans in the event of a double-cross from her own Servant. Not only is she used to going through life that way, but she's exceptionally good at accounting for it to the point that it very nearly comes naturally, even if she has her blind spots and missteps like anyone else. It's natural to her, and that speaks volumes. If I had to guess, her innocence was forfeit the moment she began training as a mage in earnest — if not sooner.
1 note · View note
thescions · 9 months
Note
chamomile, chrysanthemum && daffodil !! for whoever you want !!
Botanical Headcanons | Accepting
chamomile :   what is your muse likely to take away from a painful experience ?   are they one to be haunted by adversity ,   or to use what they’ve gone through to become stronger ?  
For Ryne, it is the emotions and feelings felt that she takes the most from any situation, both positive and negative. For a long time, she was haunted by the burden of her predecessor and the shame she felt when she thought she would never live up to her. But this is also why Ryne so openly embraces even the smallest acts of kindness or fleeting moments of joy. Although it may come off childish at times, she has since grown to stand firm in her beliefs and behaviors.
As the Oracle of Light, she has become someone who can remember the past with reverence while pressing forward with optimism and courage to guide the First to a better tomorrow.
chrysanthemum :   how does your muse express romantic love ?  how do they feel about love as a concept ?  
Ryne no longer smothers her feelings or tries to make herself small! She expresses how she feels quite openly, usually through spending quality time with another person. She can be very direct if she needs to be as well, even if that means making a situation awkward.
Ryne believes that all love -- romantic, platonic, and especially familial -- is sacred and empowering. She honors those she cares about, whether they be close friends or her fellow man.
daffodil :   is your muse one to be loyal in relationships ,   or are they likely to quickly move from one bond to another ?
Forever loyal, of course. As mentioned above, Ryne treasures all of her relationships -- likely due to the fact that she had been imprisoned for so long as a child. Loneliness makes Ryne uncomfortable, and although she doesn't mind being by herself, she will always seek out company if she longs for it.
Ryne continues to treasure the bonds forged with others, even if they are no longer able to keep in contact. She still speaks to Minfilia from time to time, even knowing that she has moved on. She still writes down notes or thoughts she wants to share with Thancred or Urianger, so that when the Warrior of Light next visits, she can give them letters to share. She is a girl who loves others with all her heart.
0 notes
dayaoguai-alice · 3 years
Text
Ryuu to Sobakasu no Hime or Belle (Dir. Mamoru Hosoda, 2021) tells an incredibly sweet story with profound emotional depth that is better understood when it's not viewed through the lens of romance. More specifically, it's crucial that you detach notions of romance from your understanding of love in order to understand the film.
Because although the film draws from the established story of Beauty and the Beast, Belle itself does not hinge on the transformative nature of "true love" as a core theme. That theme is one conventional and popularized understanding of the original tale. This is a new interpretation and a new story. And in this story, it's love as compassion for another that is the central focus. The character Belle, and by extension Suzu, did not have a rushed romantic relationship with the Dragon. She did not meet a "bad boy with a heart of gold" as was joked about in the film, and then suddenly wrote a song to confess her feelings. Her relationship with the Dragon was formed on the basis of seeing another person in pain, and then reaching out and connecting with his suffering. Her heart went out to him even though they had no prior connection, and she couldn't bring herself to abandon someone in need. Just like her mother. None of those actions are inherently romantic. In taking a chance to help him, she was the catalyst for changing both their lives as they opened up to one another and found it in themselves to trust again, which for Suzu had the added nuanced of giving her the strength to actually process her grief and insecurities, and allow her to live as her authentic self. That trust, that kindness, and that self sacrifice for someone vulnerable forms the core of the film's narrative and its tension. Belle is an inherently compassionate narrative. Compassion is the root of the film, rather than something that stems from romance alone. Even when they have that moment in the rain together and he told her that he loved Belle, the subtext of the film showed that it wasn't a confession. It was instead an expression of admiration and gratitude for her courage and compassion. It was a thank you for reaching out despite all the obstacles. Because she really did stay "by his heart's side" (as per the original title of the song, "心のそばに") despite who he was and the ugliness of his trauma and situation, just like she promised she would in her song! She thanked him too, not as a rejection of interest, but because he inspired her to stand up to her fears. It also shows that she's capable of accepting kindness as well. The film ends with Suzu choosing to take initiative and singing as herself with her friends, family, and community. It was such a tender scene where you could see how it was she who transformed and was moving forward. It's important to note how the film doesn't end with the triumphant concert in U, because U served as the place where she could leave her emotional baggage behind and supposedly feel whole again. However, in reality she was just hiding from her grief and insecurities. She was stuck in place. At the end of the film, she can talk to the people she pushed away. In doing so, her interpersonal relationships can finally progress. She's starting again, but in the real world. Seeing her committed to living as herself is what resolves her character arc. So the question of whether she returns to U or adopts her persona again isn't exactly narratively important to ask or answer despite her singing ability and true self being affirmed. To me, the feelings expressed within the film was very reminiscent of how Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli tries to portray love and relationships. He had famously said that he hoped to write characters that "mutually inspire each other to live," which speaks to all kinds of relationships. This sentiment really showed through in the film. Consequently, it's quite a disservice to understand love in Belle through the lens of romance alone. Although the film does have some problems with pacing and could have resolved certain plotlines better, I believe it was a complete story. And a wonderful one at that.
832 notes · View notes
husbandohunter · 3 years
Note
May I request a Childe X Reader fanfic where the reader has been pushing herself too hard lately and so Childe has to forcefully get her to rest? ty
By my side [Childe x Reader]//Genshin Impact
Tumblr media
Synopsis: You were an artist and he was an adventurer. Two people from vast backgrounds and Childe just wants to spend some time of his busy life with you. However, things didn't really go his way...at first.
(Childe x F!reader. Its all fluff)
(A/n): Perfect request anon. I too, would like to have a Childe in my life. Been getting 5-6 hours of sleep on average 😃😁. Yeah kind tossed some extra ideas with artist s/o, its a perfect reason for anyone to be busy.
============================
Once recieving the permission to take a week off from his diplomatic duties, the first thing Childe thought of was none other than his lovely significant other.
The harbinger knew quite well what lays ahead of his ventures to Liyue. During his quest for the archon's gnosis, he encountered many interesting events, such as meeting the rumoured traveller hailing from afar and a broke yet courteous man who turned out to be the ultimate ruler of this very country he walks upon then there was the battle against a dead god until he revived it using the sigil of permission. All of them were great additions to his story as Ajax the hero, something he always wanted to pursue since childhood. In which, also gave him something nice to write about when preparing letters for his siblings living back home. But little did the harbinger know that he'll one day bump into the heroine. A little too soon. Through your little art shop, he met you, a sweet and audacious woman with plenty of humour. That was how it all began.
While he strides down the streets between Liyue's exquisite buildings, Childe suddenly stops in his tracks and looks up to the sky. There, was painted a scenery of an evening dusk, sun rays relfected across until red and orange hues cast a river stream that led to the ends of the world. He watched the birds follow that streak like it was a path made for them to fly towards. A new adventure. You would have loved to captured this in your pictures.
And then he wonders, what might you be painting right now?
"Hey babe, I'm home~"
In a sing-song voice he calls out to you by your nick-name. You knew that Childe was an active member of the Fatui and that his time was limited, hence he made sure to write to you as well. Of course long distant relationships only makes the waiting more anticipated. When he does pay a visit, you'd run straight into his open arms, leaping off your feet to engulf him in one enourmous embrace. Then his hands will hold against your waist as he spins your round and around in the air, stealing the laughter out of your lungs before planting you back on the floor. Sometimes Childe would consider that being far away wasn't be such a bad idea as long as he was able to experience this, the harder the battle, the sweeter the victory. However...
"That's great."
He was met by a response similar to the wintry grace of Snezhnaya.
Huh?
All the fantasies he had from earlier shatters in the background as he stands there frozen. You didn't even spare a glance to the entrance, eyes still glued to the large canvas displayed at your front, too busy to even care. Childe clicks his tongue between the awkward silence with an uncertain expression. When there was no signs of initiation on your part, he shuffled his way to where you were and observes from behind.
"Well you're particularly quiet today," he muses to himself, placing a hand over his hip, "I guess that painting of yours must be really important then."
It was obvious that he was trying to nudge you into his favour. Something that you've found endearing was how quickly your boyfriend can be when he's in a needy state. So you quickly twisted over to peck him on the cheek before going back to work.
"That's better," Childe satisfiedly grins, "So who is this project for?"
"It's a commission requested by a wealthy family serving the Qixing. They're really influential in terms of the market and can really give me a competitive edge. I have to get it done in five days."
His tone flactuates as he squints his eyes, "Five days you say," he disliked the news of your schedule taking over his own, Childe only managed to take a week off and after that, he'll be away for quite some time, "Why don't you take a break? From the looks of your progress, it seems to me that you've been working on it for hours. I've got plenty of interesting stories to tell and you know, nothing can compare to sharing a warm meal within your company," he leans down to your ear level, "How does that sound?"
Several seconds went by as he waits for some sort of reaction, "Oh. Right," you blurted out and the harbinger only smiles, "I made some food earlier this morning. You can go help yourself if you're hungry."
Today was not his day.
Childe pulls out the wooden chair and slumps into the seat, a defeated huff escaping his mouth as he stared at the crystal shrimp placed on the table. It was hastily wrapped by plastic, most likely cold for a while, just like the romantic evening he had planned in his head. Normally you'll be sitting on the otherside while listening to the many tales he went through along the way. Although painting was your passion, it was undeniable that you also enjoyed his kind of lifestyle if you ever had the choice. He was rather surprised on how someone ambitious like him would end up with such a simplistic person but quickly accepted it as life was meant to be unpredictable, just the way he likes it. As Childe entertains you with his stories, he'll listen to your giggles amidst eating the homecooked meals that you both prepared together.
"I wonder if she ate already," he mumbled to his lone self. You most likely did but Childe knows you well. Artists are obsessed and they can go as far as to neglecting their own health for the sake of their masterpieces. Hence, he made sure to remind you to eat properly through the letters he wrote to you.
The harbinger takes a quick glance around the kitchen. It was a mess. The cupboards were slightly opened, metal pots were still displayed on the stone stove and the stench coming from the sink....
Childe pushes himsel up to see what was the cause.
Not even the dishes were washed.
Running his fingers through his bangs, he sighs wearily, "Old habits die hard huh?" And above all else, when artists are obsessed they also forget how disorganized they can become. Childe begins to roll up his sleeves before taking off his gloves. At times like this he'll have to pitch in and take care of it for you, "Looks like I'll be here for a while."
Throughout three sunsets and three moonrises, Childe had no option but to observe you from afar, minus the few attempts he made to regain your attention again. How you would go to bed much later than him, waking up before he opens his eyes and the effort he put into making your food only left with too many leftovers. It wasn't that you were unappreciative, instead, your mind had become too focused that your body was considered a second priority. Like anyone else, Childe genuinely thought you possessed great talent and supports you wholeheartedly. He loved it when you painted pictures just for him as if they were scenes coming out of his hero story, reminded by his adventures, capturing every detail. However he also needed to learn how to deal with this stubborn side of yours.
"Hey babe, I just finished preparing our dinner. Don't you smell that? Such a rich aroma, you should go eat."
"I'm busy."
Your diet were just small bites, the rest being substituted by coffee. Childe could clearly tell that you weren't getting enough sleep either as there were dark circles forming underneath your eyes and slowly, he was starting to become a little irritated.
Three hours passed midnight but you were still awake in the same place doing the same thing. Childe leans against the doorframe with arms folded, already changed into his sleeping clothes. He clears his throat to break the silence, "Ahem."
Your wrist hangs in mid air by the sound of a strange visitor, it was your boyfriend. Gaze in a daze, you lazily turned your head, "What time is it?"
"Way passed the sleeping hours as you can see," he points with his thumb at the table clock in a half-hearted manner, "You should already be in bed by now and don't think you can coax yourself out of the situation this time," his eyes parted in slits as he added with a smile, "Otherwise I might just have to force you myself."
You shook your head, "Give me one more hour? There's some finishing touches I really want to add so," clasping your hands together, you beamed sweetly, "Pretty please? I'll finish up soon."
"Oh really?" Childe challenges, head tossed back like he was interrogating you instead, "I believe that was also what you told me yesterday. And the day before? Adding up all of those days that would be.....four in total?" He deliberately counts upon his fingers before facing you again, this time his expression was slightly more serious, "As much as I find your determination remarkable, there are moments when you need to consider a sufficient amount of rest and this just isn't going to cut it."
"Four days already?!" You exclaimed, "Jeez, I don't even know if I'm halfway done."
Pressing his lips together, Childe glares in an acutely deadpanned countenance, it was also his time too, "Can't you ask this commissioner to extend your due date to next week? In your case, mora shouldn't be the issue since, well...you're dating me anyways."
It's true. Childe was the main reason why you didn't have to live as a starving artist. He had all your expenses fully covered from the marketing aspect to your residence, you simply chose to work out of pure will.
"I don't want to always rely on you so much," you confessed, "This commissioner could turn my whole career around. If I'm able to gain his favour, maybe I'll get promoted to a court painter for the Qixing! Who knows when there will ever be a chance like this again," pumping your fists, you spoke purposefully, "I'll pull an all nighters if I have to!"
Childe brings his hand to his forehead, you looked as if you were nearly about to collapse and yet still considering the option of an all-nighters? The harbinger should've detained you days prior before.
"Hm? Childe, what's wrong?" He suddenly falls deadly quiet and you watched him walk closer towards you, "What are--"
Hooking an arm behind your knees and the other at your back, your boyfriend lifts you up in one full swoop as he tossed you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
"Guess we'll have to do things the hard way," he remarks cheerfully.
"W-Wait," you flailed your arms and kicked your legs but to no avail. Childe was an experienced combatant indeed, "Put me down! I have work to do."
Your protests fall upon deaf ears as the harbinger carries you to your room. You were oddly lighter than the last time he carried you, the strength less vigor than before, it was obvious that your body was in need of relaxation. He suddenly thinks there was a possibility that you would maintain this habit while he was absent.
I should probably visit more often.
Using his free leg to nudge the door open, he places you upon the shared bed in a gentle manner. You winced at the impact of the soft sheets, surprised by how much it affect you.
"There we go. All done. Man, you really are a stubborn one, aren't you. Makes me a little worried since I can't spoil you all the time."
He quickly invited himself to the empty space on your bedside and wrapped his arms around your figure, pulling you close and feeling you whole. Childe made sure there was no escape once putting his chin above your hairline so that you could feel his warmth as much as possible.
"This is--" you stuttered. His tactic was enough to make your limbs soften and you could almost hear him smirk into the distance, "This is cheating..."
"You think so?" He comments as if pledging innocence, "I don't know babe. Where I come from those who take the initiative are the ones who end up claiming the prize," pulling back, Childe takes the opportunity to observe your pouty face, "I don't make the rules. It's just how it goes."
You wanted to argue back but he suddenly took the bedsheets and covered both of your bodies with, completely trapping you with his presence. He snuggles into you further as if you were a bear made of linen and you felt the drowsiness taking over your mind. The way he gently pats down the back of your head was enough to instantly lull you into a deep sleep.
"Cheater," you mumbled.
He laughs softly, the rumbles emitting through his chest, "I love you too babe."
Even after you've let go of your resistance, Childe continues his actions until he was sure that you were resting. He had been longing to touch you like this since living a chaotic life only made peaceful moments much sweeter, "You're such a hard-worker you know that? I'm proud of you but you have to know when to call it a day," he whispers, "If not, how can I go on trips while knowing that you're still refusing to eat properly?"
You closed your eyes and said nothing in return. All your senses were too cloudy to come up with a reassuring response. Childe listens to the way your breath evens as you intake his scent during the process. It smelled like the soap you used in the showers, lotus leaves mixed with his own unique musk. You could only focus on him. His comforting embrace. His slightly accelerating heartbeat because you were together with him.
Letting out one final yawn, you succumbed to his spell and allowed your energy to drift away.
The corners of his lips tug upwards, "Sleep well princess."
Childe reaches over to your desk drawer and shuts off the alarm clock before turning over to face you again. He couldn't fall asleep immediately, not when he had to consider taking care of the commissioner who gave you an impossible deadline. But that will be saved for another day, for now, he observes in silent serenity.
If he were to quit his job for a year, what would his life be like?
Peaceful. Something opposite of what he was living right now. Something similar to the life he had back home. As you arrange the many paintings in your little home, he'll offer to help you among the places you couldn't reach. Without a doubt, Childe was far taller in comparison. Taking strolls into the streets and trying the new dishes the merchants came up with. Then in the evenings, you'll both go to dinner dates while listening to the storyteller revealing the rumours of the legendary Tianquan Qixing. Although Childe loved the adventurous life he led, he had to admit that your domesticity and family-bringing atmosphere was a tempting idea.
Maybe one day.
He lightly takes a strand that had fallen over your nose and tucked it smoothly behind your ear. The soft snores coming out of your parted lips caused his gaze to melt. And so he steals them with his own, placing a chaste goodnight kiss.
One day I'll be sure to bring my family here with us.
Closing his eyes, he joins you in your slumber, hoping to see all that he envisioned in his dreams.
383 notes · View notes
mc-lukanette · 3 years
Note
Now that Wishmaker is out, how would you rewrite that chaos? The Lukanette need is strong.
"Did anyone else see me?" Marinette asked, her hands shaking as she put on the mask she'd made with her newly-given knitting powers. They were sitting down in a shadowed alley, free from anyone's curious eyes.
"No," Viperion replied, his voice breathless from the revelations he was having rather than the fly to their hiding spot. "Just...just me." He glanced down at his wrist, noting the unticked snake bangle. "...I'm sorry."
"Huh?" Marinette's gaze darted over to him, then to his miraculous. A flicker of understanding passed over her expression as she whispered a small, "Oh."
Guilt tore up his stomach, even knowing deep down that it wasn't his fault - the akuma had surprised them, giving no time for him to use his power - but he'd been brought in to use Second Chance in the first place, and yet...
Marinette's hand fell upon his wrist, making him look up. She smiled at him, her eyes reassuring.
"It's okay," she said, though her voice wavered. "It was only you who saw my face, and even if you'd used Second Chance, you'd still know anyway."
He could tell that she was still processing, but let the subject go for now and smiled back. There were more important matters to attend to.
They must've been on the same wavelength too, as Marinette pulled away and sighed, thinking aloud, "I have to figure a way to be Ladybug again. The akuma could just be destroyed, but I need Miraculous Ladybug to turn everyone back to normal."
Viperion nodded, briefly giving her a once-over. Her power and wings were useful, but unfortunately didn't help them with the current situation.
It was also distractingly cute, and he couldn't fight that way.
"Wishmaker said that he wanted people to live out their childhood dream," he murmured in thought.
Marinette brought a hand to her face, pinching her cheek in contemplation. "Maybe...maybe if I live it out then, I'll change back?" She considered it a moment longer, then groaned and stood up, starting to pace around the small area they were in. "But we don't have that kind of time! Yeah, my earrings aren't here so Shadow Moth can't make a wish, and I could definitely make enough of a living with my new knitting powers, but that would take years, and—"
Suddenly, she stopped and looked over at him, catching Viperion briefly off-guard since he hadn't said anything. Her eyes scanned him up and down, mental gears turning in her head even if he couldn't tell what she was thinking.
"...That's it!" she gasped, hurrying over to him. She knelt down, clasping his hand in both of hers as she rambled, "Maybe I just need to live out my dream to the fullest!"
He blinked in confusion, unsure of where she was going with this.
"Part of my dream was to eventually make a wedding dress and tuxedo for me and my future husband!" she exclaimed. "If I do that, I might turn back into Ladybug!"
"Ah—" He shut his mouth before anything else could come out. He couldn't deny that it was a solid plan, but he wanted to tread carefully given his feelings, not wanting to make her feel awkward. "That's a great idea." He tried to grin reassuringly, though it came off a little crooked. "Should I go find Adrien?"
"What?" She shook her head. "No, it has to be you!"
He gaped, his heart doing confused flips in his chest. "Why?"
"The guy I always dreamed of marrying when I was little," she began, eyes practically sparkling, "he was exactly like you!"
— — — — —
Marinette hadn't exactly caught onto what she'd said until it already left her mouth, but the way Viperion's face turned red had definitely given it away. Things had gone quiet after the fact, with him sitting a couple meters away while she knitted away at the tuxedo; the tuxedo for him.
She found herself blushing faintly at the thought and immediately forced it down, reminding herself that she didn't love Luka, but Adrien. They were made for each other, like everyone said, and she—
She closed her eyes and took in a steady breath, knowing that she was getting off track. Things were complicated enough with all her thoughts and fears about the future, especially now that Viperion knew her identity.
Though, strangely enough, she didn't feel as nervous about it as she thought she would've.
Her gaze darted over to Viperion, who was keeping lookout and patiently waiting for her to finish with her knitting. He thankfully didn't seem closed off from her at all, and it just served as a reminder as to how mature he was.
Without thinking, she found herself speaking up. "M...my parents..."
He looked over at her, his senses still apparently tuned for her despite his keeping watch. She averted her gaze to the knitting needles working their literal magic into the tuxedo.
"We saw a lot of movies where the girl gets the prince in the end, so they made sure to teach me that love wasn't about money or power or fame or anything like that." She bit her bottom lip, Adrien briefly flashing to mind. "So, I imagined me as the knitting fairy, and I'd make clothes for the whole world until I found him." She peeked up at him. "Someone who wouldn't laugh when I fell on my face. Someone who'd be there for me and think of me first. Someone who wouldn't scold me for everything I did or make me feel bad for it. Someone who'd see more than just clumsy, nervous Marinette."
As much as it hurt to admit, the description didn't fit Adrien. Unless they found each other by coincidence - something that actually happened today, oddly enough - he didn't go out of his way to spend time with her; it was her putting in the effort.
"And..." She trailed off momentarily, lost in her thoughts. "after we fell in love, I'd give up my powers and live happily ever after with him, because we didn't need powers to be happy and it wasn't my powers he fell in love with in the first place."
She'd finished the tuxedo at that point, courtesy of her knitting powers, but her hands dropped to her lap afterward, not making any further movements as her thoughts took over.
Out of the corner of her vision, she saw Viperion take a quick look outside the alley, then get up to move over to her. He sat next to her, picking up one of her hands and letting it rest in his palm.
"I think your dream is really beautiful," he told her gently.
She scoffed, blushing in embarrassment at what must've been fake praise. "Chat made fun of me wanting to be the knitting fairy."
"He was wrong," he retorted immediately. "Your dream might not be realistic, but that doesn't make it any less nice, and there's nothing wrong with dreaming of the perfect guy."
She met his gaze, the softness in them having not lessened even since their break-up, and found the strength to start working on the dress. Being with Luka - dating or otherwise - had always been so easy, excluding all the factors outside of just them being them. She could vaguely imagine her younger self clinging to Luka, claiming him as hers and insisting that he marry her when they grew up.
But things weren't that easy. Nothing was. Marinette had spent her whole life fighting for what she wanted, needing to prove herself to people in order to be accepted.
Fighting for years to smile against Chloe's bullying, because no one would do anything about it. Fighting to be acknowledged by her parents as someone who could do things and didn't need their protection. Fighting against herself to be the one who didn't make all the mistakes or have to be the one to apologize in the end.
After becoming Ladybug, her future became even cloudier and the fighting continued. Waking up in the morning was even harder thanks to late-night patrols, getting through tests seemed impossible due to having less time for studying, and even maintaining a romantic relationship carried the struggle of not being able to tell them her identity.
Marinette stared at the shimmering pink and white fabric beneath her fingertips, it shaping and forming to her will. The occasional sparkle or flash from a beam of sunlight that happened to shine through reminded her of the day at the TV station, where Luka had confessed and she could see only him for just a moment.
"I'm sorry."
Viperion hummed in confusion, raising a brow at her.
"I made everything complicated for you—us," she explained. "All the time, ever since we met. I even got you akumatized, twice."
"Twi—" He blinked rapidly, then leaned closer. His hand came in contact with her cheek as he directed her gaze back to him. "You mean Silencer? How was that your fault?"
"I challenged Bob Roth, and when he grabbed me, you got upset. It pushed you over to the edge."
"You were defending me and my music," he argued, a sternness in his tone that wasn't there before as he put his hand to his chest, "and my emotions are my own. I'm the one who gave into Hawk Moth, not you."
"But..." She sighed, conflicted. "Even later, I kept my identity from you when we were dating. I made us both miserable because of it. I was so upset that I ended up yelling at my friends and they all got akumatized, and then I went and gave my identity to Alya anyway."
His eyes widened for a fraction of a second, though he quickly schooled his expression for reasons she didn't know. His gaze strayed momentarily before he looked back at her, asking, "Would you be upset at me for feeling happy for a moment, knowing that you were just as miserable as I was?"
"W-what?" She shook her head; if anything, knowing that he'd also been miserable made her happy as well, probably in the same way as it was for him. It meant that they both cared about it. "No! Not at all!"
"Then I don't blame you for your emotions either."
She pouted at him, but he merely smiled in response. She knew this wasn't a matter he was going to budge on, but it was difficult for her to understand when she was so commonly blamed for things. That was Luka though, she supposed, always forgiving and able to see through her faults.
She remembered her dream husband again and tried to act like her full focus was on the dress so as to not give her thoughts away. She'd only drawn the unnamed man once or twice, and it was just occurring to her that he had black hair and blue eyes as well. Having not understood the concept of kids looking like their parents in their own way at the time, the child version of her had thought it'd be "fair," because then their children would look like both of them no matter what. It was strange, just how much the "simple" version of her love ideals lined up with the boy sitting in front of her now, even with his temporarily green eyes.
Friendship had become something very precious to her ever since the day she'd gotten her miraculous, maybe even more than love itself. Despite the complications and their brief time dating, she was friends with Luka above all else. No matter what happened in regards to the romantic aspects of their relationship, their friendship remained unchanged, like they really would be friends even if they had the worst break-up in the history of Paris. It was comfortable, to the point where she felt embarrassed for ever avoiding him in the first place.
She was reminded yet again of another stark contrast with Adrien. She hadn't been scared of starting anything with Luka, yet Adrien was a constant cloud of dread above her head, the fear of being rejected or being made fun of holding her back from doing what she wanted.
If her child self could see her now, she'd be confused. Marinette could hear her now, asking why her love - or at least, what she believed to be love - caused her so much stress. That was never what she'd wanted; in fact, it had been the exact opposite. Crushing on Adrien had done nothing but humiliate her, the little girl inside her covering her eyes from the sight. Her time with Luka, on the other hand...
"It looks beautiful."
Marinette jerked her head up to see Viperion's approving gaze, then looked down to the wedding dress in her lap. It was finished, pink with flashes of white and blacks; exactly the kind of dress she would've wanted when she was younger, though obviously with an older touch.
"Thank you," she hurried to say when she realized that she hadn't responded to him. He chuckled in reply, though it was good-natured.
He reached for the tuxedo she'd set aside, but stopped halfway as if realizing something. He looked to her, then the dress, then back to her, asking carefully, "Do you want me to keep watch while we put these on?"
It took her a moment to realize what he meant; that he - wearing a bodysuit - could easily slip on the clothes over it, but she didn't have that sort of luxury due to her dress. She managed to summon enough of her inner Ladybug to focus on the importance of the task over the potential embarrassment, giving him an appreciative nod.
She trusted him not to look.
As she went to the darkest parts of the alley to change, Viperion heading in the opposite direction, her mind drifted back to the past again. The little journey there, even if it'd been unwilling on her part courtesy of the akuma, had been a nice change from constantly worrying over her future. As important as it was to focus on what she wanted to do and plan accordingly, the past was equally as important. It shaped her into who she was now and offered insight on herself that she couldn't have gotten otherwise.
"...Lu—I mean, Viperion?" she called just as she finished putting on the wedding dress.
"Yeah?"
She turned to face him, then giggled when noticing that he still had his back turned to her. "You can look now."
He hesitated, then slowly shifted to face her. He was mostly dressed, but was in the process of buttoning up the tuxedo, his hands fumbling with one of the buttons as he took her in.
She approached, gently brushing his hands aside as she started taking care of the few remaining buttons. Not wanting to delay talking to him like before, she figured now was the best time as any to say what was on her mind.
"I still don't know what I want for my future. I feel like a lot of doors are opening and closing every day, and whenever I want to try one, there just ends up being more doors, or it's already closed when I get there. There are too many possibilities and I keep being afraid that I'll trip on the one I really want to go to." Her gaze left the button she was holding so she could meet his eyes. "I just know that I really want you to be there for all of it... i-if that's what you want." Wanting to make sure instead of presuming like she tended to do, she asked cautiously, "Do you?"
His face didn't show a visible reaction, but she heard the slight sound of him swallowing, synced up with a single blink. Afterward, he absolutely beamed at her, the smile more blinding than the light being cast against his back.
"I do," he replied,
In time with his words, the final button was slipped into place. Marinette felt a warm sensation run through her body, starting from her feet and then making her shudder as it moved its way up to her head. Her body was turning white, just as before when Wishmaker first shot her, though Viperion's tuxedo had joined as well.
There was a flash between them, and she found herself back as normal, wingless Marinette when it faded.
Viperion, now lacking what she'd made for him, still looked just as happy to see her.
"I-I did it!" she gasped, genuinely surprised that it worked. "We did it!"
She threw her hands up in the air in celebration, but snapped back to reality as she remembered that she still needed to turn back into Ladybug and take care of Wishmaker. She opened her purse, easing as she saw Tikki already munching away on a macaron.
"Marinette?"
She looked back up at Viperion, noticing that he still had something to say. "Yes?"
"I might not be able to make enough sense of your inner music to tell you what you'll want, but I don't think you have anything to worry about. I know that whatever you decide to do is going to be as extraordinary as you are."
She stifled a squeak, blushing at the sudden compliment and thankful that Tikki was still chewing the last bits of the macaron. "A-ah, thank you. You too—with the extraordinary thing, not your inner music, because I can't hear that even though I'm sure it's really amazing!"
Had it been anyone else, she might've prayed for a hole to swallow her, but it was impossible to feel weird when he smiled at her the way he did.
Once Tikki had gotten her fill, Marinette transformed and they began to leave the alley together, though Ladybug stopped partway as she remembered something; something she'd done many times before and felt it time to get back to doing.
Viperion raised a brow at her sudden stopping, then stiffened when she leaned towards him and kissed his cheek. She flashed him a smile, noting silently that she missed these little exchanges between them, then leaped away to head back to where Wishmaker was likely to be. Viperion followed suit, but a split second behind his usual speed.
She was sure he'd be smiling back if she looked, but she didn't have to; they were connected, maybe not by some sort of magic thread or cosmic force, but by them and the relationship she hoped that they would continue to build in the future.
And whenever they got back to the fight, just in time to see Chat Noir allow himself to be hit by Wishmaker's attack, a few more doors would close and her future would start to look a little different than what she'd considered that morning.
Not necessarily in a bad way either.
331 notes · View notes
oh nono i wholeheartedly agree with you actually, like i said honkai story can be overglorified and the overglorification of literature can have horrible impact to its reader and others who feel like the story can be too heavy. it can also bait others if you dont have proper understanding of the lore, you can end up getting into it and well, feel empty. Honkai has triggering theme, you can love it but you can also set aside the themes that are too heavy and overglorified, like you have to admit the start of honkai is very messy and confusing, this can lead a lot of people astray so i defo wont recommend others to read honkai if they cant handle the topic or dont have enough time to read the full lore, cause without getting its theme and getting to the end you can take it as a very heavy story. its very context dependant and heavy on its triggering theme to amplify the end. which is why i sent the ask to you anonymously, it was more to me screaming to the void on my personal take and i never expected it to be replied, and it was also twisted to be seen in the perspective of elly headspace and eden romantical art philosophy, a deepdive to what they think about their story and end. they are very very mentally stable for people who lived in the end of the world and has personal struggle, they look at the world through rose colored lenses, partially as a way of acceptance. so i would never ever recommend people to read this take if they are in a bad headspace, or cant handle heavy and triggering topics. elysia eden rose colored view of their heavy story can be triggering to many and it also cant be overglorified too much, you dont have to honor someone else take on literature you like if its too heavy, you should always stop, your headspace and mental health is the utmost priority. personally I've been through many things which i wouldn't elaborate on since it can be TW heavy, but ive found people who loved, understood and accepted me, ive healed through them and im eternally grateful to them, which is why i could look at its theme and accept it as it is. i am very privileged in this way since not a lot can find this opportunity, fuhua character writting is especially moving to me because of this.
really sorry for the misunderstanding, sincerely much love from anon <333
hey hey anon— first you’re absolutely right about their rose colored glasses over the situation— but most importantly, I assure you the way I replied was healthy for me. You don’t have to worry or teach me about what I should or shouldn’t drop, I’m not a child and I’m decent at managing these topic in regards to what they do to me, the way I ended up answering you was the way that worked with my mental health.
I also answer all my good faith asks, if I haven’t replied to yours yet they’re in drafts (or didn’t get sent but I wouldn’t be aware of that). I’m okay! If I’d forced myself to engage in the way you intended I would’ve been hurt, so I didn’t do that, that’s all.
I think it’s important to acknowledge that different people have different needs when it comes to stories. I do love heavy topics, I don’t shy away from tragedy, zero problem with all the messed up stuff in this game’s lore, I just have this specific little broken thing in my brain that makes it so I can’t appreciate certain approaches, even if they’re in character.
Every human you’ll ever meet has been through some degree of bull and probably has a few little broken bits too, that’s just how life is.
That said I would not call Eden mentally stable?? She’s a chronic alcoholic who probably has ptsd and she was suicidal from months to years before her death. Like that is not what mentally stable is. Her circumstances are understandable but the way she acted was absolutely not “stable”.
Elysia is debatable, she’s got a pretty good handle on herself but she’s also prone to putting up a happy front to mask her grief and not expressing her negative emotions. This isn’t healthy at all, for all that she remains positive, acknowledgment of negative emotions is vital to remaining a healthy individual, you’ll run yourself ragged forcing happiness all the time. In ch31 when she tells Eden Dr.MEI is probably right and she’s most likely a Herrscher, she chokes up and almost cries before forcing it down with determination and her happy front. Like. That’s not healthy behavior. I need to wrap her in a blanket and let her cry her heart out
Basically I hate the message of “don’t be sad that we part” because it IS sad. Not acknowledging this means you’ll just repress your sadness and that’s just not healthy. It’s okay to be sad. It’s healthy to be sad. Sadness exists to help your brain process loss and grief. Unexpressed, they simply fester and cause you pain… so this is a PSA to let yourself feel sad and cry, you’ll feel better afterwards.
13 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
Different, But Same
[Part 1 of my Tomgreg Analysis Series]
TL;DR - Shiv and Greg tend to mirror each other a long in the sequence of the story especially in regards to Tom. This is interesting as Shiv is Tom's romantic partner which the same relationship is echoed very strongly with Tom and Greg.
One of my most interesting observations in regards to the whole Tom/Shiv and Tom/Greg situation is how Greg and Shiv's narrative arc seem similar in regards to their relationship with Tom. However, because of certain reasons, the relationship that Tom has with Greg is more stronger despite the same narrative followed for Shiv as well.
Also disclaimer : THIS IS TINHATTERY! THIS IS ME THEORISING! YOU CAN ALWAYS DISAGREE / AGREE WITH ME.
I'm just having some fun here.
1. Initial Circumstances of meeting Tom
In S01E01, we see the circumstances in which Tom and Greg meet each other for the first time. Yes, with the volatile reaction that Tom has of "would you kiss me if I asked you? if I told you to?" (That is a whole another topic that I'll later delve into about shame and queerness in Succession) However, but the time Greg dejectedly stands at the door Logan's hospital cabin with uncertainty about his job at Waystar, S01E02, Tom makes an important offer to Greg. He offers to "look after" Greg in his time of need and help him.
Interestingly, later in the series, in an offhand comment, Shiv mentions how she herself was not in a good state of mind or in a stable position of life when she met Tom. [I don't recall the exact episode where this conversation takes place - but I'm pretty sure this happens]
Regardless, in different times of the show, Shiv depends on Tom to help her through stressful circumstances.
Tom is a dependable person for both Shiv and Greg through his emotional support as well as professional support for these people.
2. RECNY BALL Incident
In S01E04, the notable RECNY Ball takes place which is overshadowed by the fact that Tom receives papers about the Cruises Scandal from Bill. There are two people that Tom informs about the papers : his assistant, Greg Hirsch and his wife to be, Siobhan Roy.
This is one of the multiple instances where Greg and Shiv are placed in the same context for Tom.
When Gerri confronts Tom about the holding a press conference. However, (this is the point where the Tomgreg subtext becomes stronger) when Greg defends himself, Tom seems to believe him which ends up casting strong suspicion on Shiv. This is interesting as this takes place, weeks? days? after having met Greg for the first time and despite, fact that Tom is going to be married to Shiv, he doesn't trust her.
Greg's subordinate status to Tom and his disconnect from the Roys (the situation happens to be opposite for Shiv) is what makes Tom believe him in the first place. Tom has never felt secure in his relationship with Shiv because of his perceived inferior status. However, in regards to Greg, he's in a more balanced position (even superior to Greg) which is why he feels strongly about protecting Greg as well as is comfortable in his relation (though he expresses jealousy? at Greg's closeness with Kendall professionally later on).
He assigns the job of burning the papers to Greg which brings the both closer as they have a secret between them. (Even Shiv doesn't know about the papers until their wedding) Greg and Tom can trust each other to some extend because of the Cruises burning incident because if one of them reveals it then the other goes down. (This analysis does not currently take into account Greg revealing the papers at the press conference - by that point he's reached a position where he can reach out for things other than what Tom can offer him)
3. They both betray Tom as well as Logan
Shiv joins Nate professionally which leads her to not only later cheat on Tom despite their ongoing engagement, but it also brings her into conflict with Logan Roy as she decides to align herself with Senator Gil Eavis who is extremely anti-Logan. Her alliance with Nate causes strong jealousy for Tom wherein he asks Shiv about Nate (which also later is apparent with how Tom humiliates him later with the wine).
In a similar vein, Greg encourages Kendall during the night of Shiv's wedding with "things have to change here". And later on, not only aligns himself such strongly with Kendall that prompts Tom to ask him about it during Hungary and says "a girl can start to wonder."
Both of these alliances are detrimental to Logan as they challenge his place in the throne. However, Shiv's alliance with Eavis collapses easily due to difference in views. It would be interesting if the Kenstar Gregco alliance lasts longer due to the consequences that might result if they try to break apart as well as the blood bond which makes the link more stronger.
4. They both negotiate with Gerri using the Cruises Papers
Tracking on the fact that Shiv and Greg are the ones that mainly know about the papers. They leverage this information in a way that benefits them or creates additional favours for them.
This is initially seen when Greg rats out Tom's plan to do a new conference exposing Cruises to Gerri which is how she shuts him down quickly. This gives Greg a favourable opinion from Gerri, a proximity to the power of Waystar and benefits him even though it screws Tom over.
In a similar vein, Shiv does the same thing when she negotiates with Gerri, Logan's spokesperson, during her wedding night to stop the attacks on Eavis. She uses it to benefit the person she is working for.
This is a very small similarity, but is also another way they both mirror each other in the arc of the story.
5. A sense of moral superiority
Again minor point, but interestingly, both Shiv and Greg have a sense of moral superiority over not being as involved in the business and their sense of doing the right thing.
(This may later diminish as both get more and more stuck with the core of the business, but this is at like early S2)
Greg brings it up first when Tom brings him to ATN with his whole speech on "principles". Tom admonishes Greg with "of course, we're trying to do the right thing. We all are, so don't go talking about principles."
A similar thing repeats when Shiv admonishes Tom about Logan's decision to purchase Pierce. She makes a point about how terrible ATN is the fact that she needs to get proper news from a "respectable" source.
Both of them throw Tom's involvement with ATN as well as Waystar by a way of sticking to principles while being incredibly hypocritical themselves.
6. "Open Marriage"
This is self-explanatory for the most part, but at the same time, it's one of the biggest points for this mirror as well as for Tomgreg.
As mentioned before Tom feels a sense of inferiority with Shiv, which is why he is the more meeker one in the relationship. Which makes him accept the "open marriage" idea with Shiv even though he is essentially being cheated on the entire time.
However, in regards to Greg, the same inferiority does not appear. And by the time, the famous "I will not let go of what is mine" scene, Tom and Greg are friends to a bit. They go out for the ortolan scene (which has a separate analysis about physical hunger and queerness as well later - food metaphors are strong in Succession), Greg tells Tom about Shiv's cheating and Tom has brought Greg into ATN.
[These small things cement the relationship between them and show that Tom and Greg enjoy themselves outside the confines of Waystar which Tom and Shiv struggle with as seen in the case of their honeymoon]
However, Greg's use of "open marriage" causes Tom to not only express his anger, but provides a space to express the anger. He publicly declares how upset he feels that Greg wants to leave and interestingly, uses relationship specific terms like "break up" to talk about Greg's proposal. He repeatedly asserts that Greg is "his" and this brings in a context of jealousy with Kendall when Tom questions about Greg spending more time with Kendall later on in Hungary.
7. They both ask favours from Tom which put him in trouble with Logan
In the Hungary episode, both Shiv and Greg ask Tom do certain favours (In case of Shiv, it is for Tom to ask Logan about the Pierce deal and convey everybody's dissatisfaction. And in case of Greg, it is to hide that fact that he met with Pantsil from Logan).
Now, Tom has been clearly established as a strong sycophant in regards to whoever is at the helm of Waystar (conveying Kendall about Ewan coming to the board meeting as well as cheering on Logan when he announces Pierce) so the only way he would take a risk for a person is if he's close to them. This makes sense in case of Shiv as she is his literal wife, however, this comparison is interesting when we think about Greg in this context. Tom goes lengths to protect Greg to the point he is humiliated by the employees and his in-laws only which is huge as throughout the entire series Tom has simply been trying to fit in with the Roys to the point, he wants to change his last name after marriage.
8. Both are put in position where they are can be the successor of the company and in turn, can become Tom's boss
This happens mostly at the end of S2, but, the entire time Shiv is championed as the Successor by Logan Roy himself which makes Tom assume that he will later on succeed her. However, this is turned to the head when Shiv proclaims that she does want to run the company. In doing so, she will become Tom's boss which is disappointing to Tom because, it will only emphasis on his sense of inferiority as well as the fact that he cannot take care of her (because as established before he is the person that cares for people, especially ones that he loves).
A same dynamic emerges as Greg aligns himself with Kendall. This exponentially increases his chances of being the Successor (especially if Kendall drops out somehow either due to drugs or any other circs) which would also untie the two Roys. This would similar draw the same conflict Tom faces with Shiv as the successor.
Therefore, in bringing Shiv and Greg together again and again, I feel like it enhances the romantic subtext between Tom and Greg (as it literally swaps out the man's wife for his lanky assistant) as well as brings out a stronger comparison as Tom and Greg have done things to each other as well as for each other which ties them together more closely than Tom and Shiv.
Just imho.
Tag List ❤️-
{Let me know if you wanna be added or removed}
@feuillytheflorist @finitevariety @dr-pamela-isley
@dawsonandpaceyareinlove @nickwilding @foreverjustvibing @houseocats
103 notes · View notes
turtletotem · 3 years
Note
26 for the kissing prompt for JoeNicky, turtle? :D
Coming right up!
26.  Brushing a kiss along the shell of the other person’s ear.
.
It wasn't that Andromache found either of the men unattractive. Yusuf had glorious thick curls and a warm smile, Nicolo an excellent Roman profile and eyes of an intriguing sea green. Both were healthy and muscular. Under other circumstances Andromache wouldn't have been opposed to indulging herself with either or both of them, as long as Quynh didn't mind.
But the fact that these were fellow immortals complicated everything. There would be no outliving or moving away from an affair, for one thing. For another… well, there were two men and two women, now. Surely the unspoken expectation was that they were going to be two couples, that whatever strange destiny had brought them all together intended that.
If so, destiny could go screw itself. Andromache's heart was always going to be Quynh's, first and foremost and forever, and Quynh herself had no interest in men at all. There was not going to be any pairing off between them and the two male immortals.
(Gods, she missed Lykon. They'd never had this kind of complication with him—Lykon had had no interest in sex at all. It was very relaxing.)
The four of them had greeted each other with relief and wary welcome, finally laying eyes on faces so familiar. Now that they'd found each other, at least the dreams would stop. If they separated, Andromache wondered, would the dreams come back again? They'd never tested that before. They might find out, if these men could not accept romantic rejection, or had some general objection to female couples. That was another complication—unlike any mortal suitor, these could not be killed if they grew dangerous.
With the sun going down, talk turned to setting up camp. This was a fine spot for it—they'd met up by the river, and spent the day fishing and cooking their catches, trading tales over the fire. Nicolo and Yusuf both had plenty of tales to tell. They were charming men. But Andromache had seen before, how quickly charming men could trade their smiles for snarls.
Andromache and Quynh didn't speak much as they set up their tent. They didn't need to, not for the work—familiar enough to do in their sleep—and not for the situation; all that communication took place in glances, expressions, a cocked eyebrow and a shrug. Quynh was worried, too. She was afraid that Yusuf, especially, might have taken a shine to her.
They all said goodnight, and lay down in their tents, and let the fire burn out in the warm summer night. Andromache lay awake long after Quynh slept, not nervous—these men couldn't truly hurt her, even if the opposite was also true—but uneasy and restless.
When she heard a low murmur of voices outside, she sat up, knife in her hand, and was out through the tent flap before she could think better of it.
Silent as smoke, she drifted toward Yusuf and Nicolo's tent at first, then veered toward the river, following the voices. When the men came into sight, she stopped short.
Yusuf was sitting on the ground, arms around Nicolo, who leaned back against his chest and pointed up at the stars. Over the sussurrus of the river, she couldn't quite make out their words, but they seemed playful, teasing each other.
"No wonder we got lost," Yusuf said, or something like that. Nicolo made an indignant reply, gesticulating. Yusuf laughed, and leaned down to kiss the shell of Nicolo's ear.
Well, Andromache thought, a slow smile spreading across her face, I think I can put Quynh's mind to rest about Yusuf's fancies.
Perhaps destiny had intended two couples after all.
140 notes · View notes
Text
Series: Just the assistant..?
Tumblr media
Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Plus sized reader
Summary: [Y/N], Tom's personal assistant knows that she shouldn't have fallen in love with her employer but she just couldn't help herself. When she thinks that her biggest wish is about to come true, a third party arrives and makes her question whether she'd ever have a chance to escape her situation and simply be loved back by the person she loves the most...
Warning(s): None, I think?
Word count: 5,2k
Picture(s) found on: Pinterest/Google
Tumblr media
CHAPTER ONE: Ignition
"Just a few more minutes until they call, do you want something to drink?" (Y/N) asked Tom as she made her way to the kitchen, her heart fluttering nervously in her chest as the tension rose in his living room. 
He had been sitting on the couch, frozen on the spot while staring into space with his phone clutched tightly in his hand. He couldn’t voice the intense waves of anxiety and nervousness coursing through his body, time seemed to pass slowly. One of the producers of Harold Pinter's Play "Betrayal" was about to let him know whether he had gotten one of the main roles or not.
Tom had auditioned for the play a while ago and had desperately hoped that his performance was worthy enough to act the play out on the stage. He had always loved theatre, the interest had never decreased throughout the years. Harold Pinter was also a writer Tom had always looked up to as his plays always inspired and touched him on a deep level that not everyone was able to understand.
 "Tom" (Y/N) called out again.
He had never answered her question which had made her turn on her heel and focus her gaze on his tensed back and shoulders. He still hadn’t moved a muscle as his brain was clouded with too many thoughts at the same time. His assistant let out a soft sigh, her heart fluttering as she longed to gently place her hands on his back and give him a soothing massage. God...I just want to feel you relax under my touch. Whisper my name in a state of longing...
She bit back a craving hum as her eyes continued to appreciate his backside, he obviously needed some time to himself and wasn’t in need of any liquid refreshment. She turned back around and walked into the kitchen while hoping and praying that he’d get the role as he really deserved it. 
She empathised with his every emotion and felt anxious herself, a habit she had when loving someone. Once in the kitchen, [Y/N] quickly walked over to the fridge and took a bottle of water out of it, popped open the cap and let out a soft hum when the cool liquid made its way down her throat. It had been dry and itching for a little while but she didn’t want to leave Tom’s side. She was his biggest supporter, not just the assistant that had been loving him for three years now.
She couldn’t distinguish whether she ever crushed on him or just immediately found herself loving him. She had been a silent admirer of him and his work before she got the amazing (and well paying) opportunity to work as his personal assistant. But she was a professional and strictly made herself keep all the romantic feelings she had for Tom on the down low, she knew that both of their images were at stake if she’d dive into the cliché “employee messing with their boss” mess.  
It was easier said than done but she quickly developed some quality acting skills that prevented the British gentleman from even guessing her true feelings about him. She didn't want to jeopardise her job as it was something she really loved and appreciated doing.
"[Y/N]!" Tom called out in panic, causing her to place the water bottle on the kitchen counter and run back into the living room, where she found him standing in front of the coffee table with his phone still in his hand. The anxiety clouding his eyes quickly vanished the second he looked at his assistant, her presence immediately had calmed him down.
His loud ringtone echoed through the room.  “W-what should I do?” he questioned, feeling like he had lost all common sense while his heart beat harshly against his ribcage.
She chuckled and shook her head while pointing at his phone. “Accept the call!”.
He frantically nodded, letting his thumb slide across his screen before holding his phone to his ear. [Y/N] let out a shaky breath, this was finally the big moment and she was glad that she was the only one who got to witness it. He never put up a show in front of her during these types of moments and that was one of the many reasons why she loved him; he unconsciously made her feel so special on an almost day-to-day basis.
“Hello?” Tom spoke before a nervous laugh escaped his lips, “Gerald, how are you?”, his manners were impeccable while his facial expression turned serious. A big frown crept onto his face, he bit his lower lip and slowly nodded his head. The room got silent  and the assistant didn’t know what to do; she was silently contemplating whether to have a seat on the couch or stay on her feet, ready to walk away in case he wanted some privacy. 
A smile appeared on her face when the actor looked at her again, smiling brightly and motioning with his hand for her to take a seat on the couch. Her stomach fluttered in delight at the fact that he wanted her near and witness this exciting moment with him. 
She made her way over to the couch and was about to sit down when a loud gasp escaped his lips, a smile stretching across his handsome face. “Thank you so much! I-I can’t believe this! Thank you, thank you!” he happily spoke out and then chuckled. She stared wide eyed at him as she quickly caught onto what was happening.
He had gotten the role.
[Y/N] barely could hide her grin as she felt the anxiety disappear like a heavy weight being lifted off her shoulders. An overwhelming urge to reach out for Tom’s handsome face and press her lips against his overtook her senses. But she knew damn well that that was something didn't have the right to do. So, with a soft sigh she fought her inner voices and body parts to stay still and not do something she'd regret. 
Words couldn’t describe how proud she was of him, he was perfect for the role and she couldn’t wait to see the whole production come to life. Tom would have the time of his life and gain more experience in the industry which could lead to his next job, once the play would be over.
“I certainly will!” Tom laughed and nodded his head, snapping [Y/N] back to reality. They locked eyes and just grinned at each other.  “Thanks again, have a nice day. Bye!”, a loud laugh escaped his lips as he tossed his phone onto the couch and surprised his assistant by charging towards her and then quickly engulfing her in a tight embrace.
“I got the part! I can’t believe it!”
“Congrats, Tom! I knew you’d get it”. [Y/N]’s knees almost buckled as her arms were wrapped around his broad shoulders, his delicate scent filling her nostrils. Her body instantly relaxed and she felt lightheaded, she wished for this moment to last forever, this is where she felt to belong. In his arms. The actor gave her another squeeze and let out a relieved sigh, his body enjoying the intimate embrace, the sensation surprising him greatly. They had hugged countless times (which had always left [Y/N] a sensitive mess like in that current moment), but this time it felt different for him.
Her delicate scent mixed with her sweet perfume  made him close his eyes, his soul suddenly being at peace. The feeling of her soft and squishy body made him bury his head in the crook of her neck and gently sigh out in pleasure. She clenched her jaw in order to stop herself from gasping out loud as an intense shiver coursed down her spine. Tom had never hugged her this way, his beard tickled her sensitive skin and she loved every second of it. 
Her heart skipped a beat before playing a loud song against her ribcage, this felt like a dream. A delicate dream she hoped to never wake up from. The room was silent, their soft breathing being the only thing whispering through the atmosphere as the actor continued to enjoy the feeling of having his assistant so close to him.
 Pleasant tingles coursed through his body as he absentmindedly gave her another squeeze, her beautiful face appearing behind his now closed eyelids. No one spoke a word. Just two souls initiating their passionate connection.
 “Tom” [Y/N] whispered after a few minutes, needing to end the moment even if it made her heart ache. But she knew that if she wouldn’t speak up, he would and probably conclude that they’d been hugging for way too long and inappropriately. When he hummed softly and opened his eyes, he gave her one final squeeze before slowly pulling away and smiling at her. He didn’t regret anything.
 He drank in the sight of her beautiful face, his eyes sparkling suddenly. “We need to celebrate this!” the excitement was slowly bubbling up again in his stomach. The assistant let out a chuckle and pulled her out her phone from her jean pocket. “Sure, who do you want me to invite?” she questioned while trying to get down from the delicate high she still was on. His cologne mixed with his mesmerising scent still lingered in her nose and her heart even ached more now.
 Her fingers slightly trembled while typing in her passcode before she went on the message app, ready to send out a dinner invitation to Tom’s closest friend group. She cleared her throat and looked up again, her heart skipping another beat when she saw him smile brightly at her like she was the most delicate creature walking the earth...
 “How about I cook something just for the two of us and we can celebrate with Ben, Charlie and Idris tomorrow?”.
 [Y/N] let out a breathless chuckle and nodded her head, “Sounds great…”. Words couldn’t describe the euphoria pumping through her blood. Even though he hadn’t officially asked her out, she still felt happy and excited to spend some more time alone with him. She didn’t have high hopes of  something happening but just being in his presence was more than enough for her to soothe her cravings temporarily and that made her gladly accept every opportunity to be alone with him, work related or not.
 “Great! How about Chicken Fettucine Alfredo?”. She grinned, nodded and put her phone back into her pocket. She was overwhelmed and didn’t know what to do next, a part of her wanted to throw herself back into his arms and another one to get back to her house and let the previous, intimate moment dawn onto her. 
She chose the latter.
 “I-I’ll go freshen up and finish some tasks for you. Let me know when you want me back” she smiled at him one last time before walking towards his front door, knowing that the actor was staring at her back. “Okay, I’ll send you a text message!” Tom gently called out and watched with a smile on his face how she waved her hand in the air to indicate that she had heard him. [Y/N] then had left his house seconds later.
 “Mhm…” the actor whispered to himself, suddenly feeling his stomach sink. The happiness and excitement simmered down while he sat down on his couch and leaned back. His eyes fell shut and he thought about what just had happened: He had gotten the role of one of his favourite plays and felt like he was dreaming. He couldn’t wait to start the project and try his best to captivate the people with his talent all over again. He was going to play Robert, a man whose wife was having an affair with his best friend of several years. 
 He was impatient to find out who was going to be casted as the other two characters: Emma and Jerry. He appreciated and loved his work so much, but knew that he wouldn’t have gotten this special part if it weren’t for his assistant who had strongly encouraged him to audition for the play. 
 [Y/N].
Tom could barely express how much she had changed his life for the better when he had hired her three years ago. He just had broken up with his famous ex-girlfriend and was being bullied by her fans so much that he disappeared from the spotlight once his work schedules were cleared. 
His friends didn’t see him often as he hid away in his house, trying to tune out the discomfort and regret he felt from letting the whole world focus on his relationship. He was known for keeping his private life private, but the love he had felt for her had made him disregard his own strict rule and boundary. To be publicly ridiculed was one of harshest lessons he had to learn.
That's when his agent suggested hiring a personal assistant to help him keep his profile on the down low until he’d feel better. 
[Y/N] was hired not too long after his hiatus from the public eye, her job had been to see what roles the entertainment company Tom was signed to had to offer and also fulfill personal tasks like going grocery shopping or sending out birthday gifts and so on. But with her already having caught serious feelings for him, she had a natural urge to also take care of him, not as her boss but as a confidant and comforter.
 It was her bright, charming and loving personality along with her soothing and encouraging ways that slowly brought Tom out of the protective bubble he had created around himself. A strong friendship was quickly formed while he felt himself change back into this natural self. A better self.
[Y/N] became his silent rock to lean on while continuing to work for him. When he was back to his naturally charming and funny self in public and private, she had become conscious about her feelings for him. She was surprised (but also very relieved) that no one had suspected anything. Benedict and his wife Sophie, Idris and his Wife Sabrina along with Charlie and his wife Samantha all had quickly grown to love her as a part of their friend group.
The assistant was way more loosened up with the actors wives as they had a very close and strong bond as women. Around the male actors, she was a tiny bit more reserved but just to keep up the professional “I am not hopelessly in love with my boss and don’t want you to know about it” act. 
But Tom was just as supportive of his assistant when life became difficult for her too. Often placing a comforting hand on her shoulder or back while fighting the urge to hold her close and promise to take care of whatever issue she was facing when she couldn’t keep the tears to herself anymore. Tom and [Y/N] had come a long way together, individually and as friends.
“Bloody hell” 
Tom muttered when realising that he had zoned out for a good ten minutes. His stomach was doing flips but he didn’t feel sick or nauseous. The overwhelming urge to feel [Y/N] so close to him again had left him craving for more ever since she had left his house. 
He bit down onto his lower lip when he remembered the delicate sensations tingling through his body, the intensity was something the actor hadn’t experienced in a long time. Or ever. He shook his head, snapping himself out of his little daydream and shot up from the couch. “I should go grocery shopping for tonight’s celebration” was what he muttered to himself before picking up his car keys from the small coffee table and saying his goodbye to Bobby who had waltzed into the living room with a wiggly tail. 
Tom chuckled, petted his beloved dog and then made his way towards the front door with a pleased smile resting on his handsome face.
~~~
“Fuck, why am I like this?” [Y/N] cried out in frustration as she was standing in her full length mirror, staring at her naked body wrapped in a towel. She just had gotten out of the shower, her skin was glistening and glowing from the lotion she had applied to her body, her hair moisturised . She was scanning her body from head to toe and slowly felt herself become insecure. She had this lingering feeling that the hug she had shared with Tom had a deeper meaning. 
 Her conscious refused to let go of the matter and she found herself wondering if he’d ever be interested in her. Her eyes continued to scan her body from head to toe, every thick bump and curve being intensely observed. “Stop it” she hissed at herself, shaking her head and trying to distract her craving heart from the fact that it might had found its perfect match. “I’m just the assistant” [Y/N] reminded herself before stepping away from the mirror and walking over to her closet.
 She didn’t want to overdress for a simple celebration dinner, and quickly decided on a simple and comfortable outfit for the private event; a pair of black jeans, a white, long sleeved shirt with not too much cleavage and a black jean jacket in case she'd get cold.  
It took her a few minutes to get dressed before she focused on her hair and light makeup. She chose to not wear many layers of makeup. Tonight she preferred a natural look that would also enable her skin to breathe easily. Once she was done, she gave herself a final look in the mirror and nodded her head in approval.
 She looked beautiful, as always.
 “Let’s do this then” she whispered to herself and then made her way out of her bedroom. Now all she needed was for Tom to let her know that he was to welcome her back into his house.  “Okay, it’s nothing special” the assistant muttered to herself while suddenly feeling her heart starting to beat faster in her chest.
 This was the usual habit she had whenever she was about to see the British actor: reminding herself that her deepest desire wouldn't become reality and to keep herself in check. [Y/N] had been in love and had loved a decent amount of people but never had she felt these intense emotions for someone. 
She had been with the most charming and loving or shitty and selfish people, the heartbreaks she had gone through were either very painful and long lasting or quick and rather painless. It always made her wonder how Tom had been able to sweep her off her feet in such a delicate yet simple manner, and why she loved him stronger with each passing day.
The plus sized beauty was now in her kitchen, eating a granola bar while sitting at the counter. The silence in the house smoothly encouraged her to relax for a little while and unwind. She had finished the few tasks she had to do for her boss; making sure that his stylist had the suits ready for his public appearances that were coming up in a few days.
A BAFTA event was just around the corner and Tom had gladly accepted their invitation as he was one of the many ambassadors. The organisation had planned a few games with delightful prices such as apprentices abroad for upcoming musicians, actors and artists or tickets to Tom’s upcoming play to encourage people to get in touch with their creative self. 
The actor was thrilled to meet new people and witness others from different backgrounds, to witness them earn amazing opportunities to either learn, travel or create themselves artistically.
[Y/N] wouldn’t join him to the event. She had a lengthy list of new things to work on for her boss. The final Avengers movie would be released in the theaters in a few months but Tom wouldn’t join the press tour as he’d be on stage here in London. But his own Loki series had gotten the green light so he’d have to start meeting up with the creative writers and producers to see how they’d bring the series to life. It was obvious that Tom would be booked and busy for at least a year.
[Y/N] got lost in her thoughts again, absentmindedly finishing her granola bar while planning her following weeks ahead, she knew that stressful days were ahead but she didn't mind that at all. At the end, she'd get her job done.
It took her a few minutes to snap out of her daze before her phone loudly notified her that she had received a message.
From: Tom
Finally, she thought to herself while unlocking her phone and reading Tom’s new message.
To: Me
I’m done cooking, waiting for your presence now 😊
From: Me
“Aw” the assistant cooed with a wide grin on her face, the message was so short and simple yet it made her feel like she was floating on cloud nine. Especially because Tom rarely used emojis, so to see that she was worthy enough for a smiley face filled her heart with joy.
To: Tom
Her thumb hit the sent button before she hopped off the kitchen stool, her heartbeat increasing again as she felt a rush of warmth and excitement ripple through her body. 
I’m on my way 😊
[Y/N] took her purse off the counter and placed her phone in it before taking out her keys. Her footsteps softly echoed through the air as she made her way to the front door with a gorgeous smile resting on her face. She couldn’t wait to see her love again.
“Wow” was the first thing Tom whispered once he swung the door open, his eyes immediately were blessed with the sight of [Y/N] standing right in front of him. Their eyes sparkled while staring deeply into one another. “Hi” [Y/N] whispered, her body relaxing instantly while waiting for the actor to welcome her back into his home.
~~~
“Hello” Tom finally spoke, his heart pounding so hard that he was afraid she’d be able to hear it.  He took a step aside and widened the door, “Please enter”. The assistant thanked him before walking into his house, not noticing how he closed the door while whispering a soft “You are so beautiful” into the air. 
“It smells amazing” she complimented while already having placed her purse on the small coffee table in front of his couch, now patiently waiting for the actor to turn around and interact with her.
Tom took a few seconds to lock his door before finally turning on his heel and biting back a grin when his eyes landed on [Y/N] again. Her beauty and presence were sucking him into a delicate whirl of endless contentment, but he didn’t fight it. “Thank you, I hope you’ll enjoy the meal. How about a drink first?” he suggested while walking over to her and playfully holding out his arm to her.
She chuckled and happily linked her arm with his, his cologne mixed with his scent filling her nostrils while they made their way into the kitchen where she could hear the soft sizzling filling the air. Tom led her over to the big counter where he already had set the table and everything else up, some candles included. It looked like a romantic dinner.
[Y/N] clenched her jaw to stop herself from voicing how pretty everything looked, it looked like a meal for lovers, not employer and employee. But she swallowed her thought, not wanting to risk saying anything that could ruin the smooth and delightful vibe. So with a soft sigh, she turned around and gently thanked Tom for preparing the celebration dinner.
“Don’t even mention it” he chuckled and made sure that she was comfortably seated before he rushed over to the pans and pots and started to serve her the celebration dinner. Her mouth watered at the delicious sight and she couldn’t wait to dig in. But she patiently waited until he was done with his own plate and was seated before she rose her glass filled with non-alcoholic Peach Moscato. [Y/N] wasn’t planning on getting drunk as the next day would be very hectic for her.
"To you” she gently spoke, her heart fluttering in her chest when Tom copied her actions and smiled brightly at her. “No, to us” he added and let his glass with the same drink clink against hers.
“I didn’t do anything” the assistant responded with a soft chuckle before taking a quick sip of her drink and humming in delight. It tasted delicious. “You’re the actor who went to the audition” she added before lifting her fork and smoothly digging it into a piece of diced and seasoned chicken.
Tom shook his head while following her motions, “You did a lot actually. I wasn’t sure whether I was good enough to even audition for the role. But you encouraged me and supported me from the beginning to the end, and I can’t thank you enough for that [Y/N].
Once his words left his mouth, the room fell silent. 
[Y/N] and Tom just looked at each other, so many unspoken emotions flashing past their eyes. The tension had shifted again but not to something awkward. It was like their souls were communication as the sparkles in their eyes never left. They only thought about each other and how grateful they were to be in that intimate moment with one another.
The actor couldn’t stop thinking about how he suddenly longed to be close to her again. Feel her warm and soft body pressed against him, have her scent make him forget about the world and just focus on her. His lips tingled, the urge to feel hers pressed against his overwhelming him.
[Y/N] was thinking the exact same thing, the attraction she had felt for him only became stronger with every passing moment. Her breathing became quicker when her mind started to picture how it would feel to kiss him…Hold him close while letting their lips melt together as one with nothing but love and passion.
“T-Thank you” was all she was able to say as she snapped back to reality and realised that she hadn’t responded to his kind words. Tom nodded his head and gave her a bright smile before both of them continued to enjoy the food together.
“This is scrumptious” the assistant praised with a hum before taking another bite, trying to play it cool while she felt the heat and warmth course through her body. Tom chuckled and bowed his head, blushing at the simple compliment, “I’m happy you’re enjoying it”. What he didn't voice was how he had spiced up the simple recipe, the need to impress [Y/N] driving him through the short time of preparing the meal.
The two of them then continued to eat while talking about their upcoming vacations, the production of the play wouldn't start until a few weeks and the Loki series was months away from being filmed.  [Y/N] didn’t want to just talk about their work and happily listened to Tom voicing his desire to travel to Asia again for two weeks. He then told her about filming Kong: Skull Island in Vietnam and Hawaii. Throughout the dinner, his hand found hers numerous times and he gave it a gentle squeeze before sliding it back and either taking a sip of his drink or finishing his plate.
"And so I had to explain to my boss's ex-girlfriend that he had wanted the engagement ring back but that he was too embarrassed to come and collect it himself! After he had been caught red handed cheating on her!" [Y/N] finished explaining the crazy story about her previous employer, clasping her hands against her cheeks and shaking her head at the awkward memories.
___
Tom was having a delightful laugh, his cackles echoing through the kitchen while trying to imagine how his assistant must've felt in that moment. "That is just crazy! I assure you [Y/N] that I won't ever ask you to do such a thing for me" he chuckled at the end and shook his head.
"Good, because that experience made me add lots of terms and conditions to my general contract. I've actually been rejected a few times because those who had been interested in hiring me didn't approve of my demands" the assistant chuckled and rolled her eyes.
"Like I have no issues going grocery shopping for you but I won't do your dirty laundry or buy lube and condoms for you at 3 o'clock in the morning...". The last phrase made Tom almost choke on his spit before he burst out laughing again, his cheeks starting to hurt from all the smiles and laughter. He couldn't remember the last time he had laughed or enjoyed someone's presence this much.
"Shit, Tom. it's almost midnight! We've been eating and goofing around for hours!" [Y/N] gasped in panic, not having realised how fast the time had rushed by. She quickly got up and took her now empty plate, strutted over to the sink and was about to wash it when Tom's voice stopped her.
"Don't even think about turning on the sink, [Y/N]. Let me do this" the soothing yet amused tone in his voice made the assistant roll her eyes and simply place her plate in the empty sink and turn around with a defeated look on her face. "Fine! But I better get going then, thanks again for the meal, it was delicious".
Tom grinned at her and joined her at the sink, both of them washing their hands before drying them and making their way out of the kitchen. "It was my utmost pleasure, [Y/N]". No words were spoken after that as the assistant collected her purse and made her way to his front door, feeling like she was floating on cloud nine.
"Let me know when you get home safely, okay?" Tom whispered while surprising her again with another gentle hug, his arms and hands welcoming her delicate body again. All poor [Y/N] could do was nod her head and close her eyes for a few seconds, no thoughts clouding her head as she lost herself into the embrace.
"Goodnight" she then whispered while pulling away, looking one last time at his handsome face before creating some space in between them, her heart feeling like it was about to combust into flames. "Goodnight beautiful, thank you for being you" Tom whispered, the sparks glistening in his eyes as he watched his assistant bite her lip to prevent herself from grinning like an idiot.
The two of them shared another gentle moment before [Y/N] turned around and left Tom's home. He watched her walk down the front porch and to the drive in where her car was parked. The man couldn't keep his eyes away from her, she was all he could think about and he couldn't stop whispering her name every few seconds while watching her drive off into the night... 
Tumblr media
 Tag list: @jamesbarnesappreciationclubub  l @pleasantdreamqueen l @disneymarina l l @harleycativy  l @sparklemichele l @melaninmarvel l @amethyst09 l @the-force-of-imagines l @bossyboyd03 l @pebblesz892 l @stars8melanin l @brittyevans l @toc1985 l @janeyboo l @badassbaker l @winters-beauty l @cannonindeez  l @ilovefanfic86  l @adorablespecialsnowflakes l @brittanyovens l @kanupps06 l @jazmynejack l @thebookwormslytherin l @theunsweetenedtruth l @talannalew l @littlexmissxfandomxlover l @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes l @crimsonash330 l @booklover2929 l @aranelgrey l @panda-duuu l @thisismysecrethappyplace  l @titty-teetee l @honey-anon l @princess-evans-addict l @hp-hogwartsexpress l @malindacath  l @letsdisneythings l @scorpionchild81 l @shado-raven l @alisoncdariel l @plutoneu l  @queenoftheworldisdead l @briannab1234l @miyaeadys-blog l @thenamelesscorpse2185 l @hihellogoodbyebruh l @nackrosor l @nerdgurl1985 l @2darkskinbeauty l @bugngiz l @african-melanin-goddess l @barnes-wilson-love l @ktiz90 l @let-the-love-in l @forlornfortitude l @robinredboob l @hopefuloperaangelnerd l @kola95 l @partypoison00 l @alwaysadreamingoptimist l @reniescarlett l @g0thicdream l @mayasopinions l @captaintightpants58 l @leillee​ l @kayleighsimone​
-Emmanuelle 💋❤️
242 notes · View notes
demonslayedher · 4 years
Text
Love Breathing Not Fully Bloomed: A Kanroji Mitsuri Meta
Some thoughts that have been brewing since we got a deeper look at the birth of the Breath of Love in the Rengoku Gaiden, boiling down to that Mitsuri had not yet reached her full potential.
Tumblr media
SPOILERS AHEAD~!
While we don't have any reliable timeline for this series, we know that Mitsuri has been practicing swordsmanship for only about two years, likely less. The "two years ago" stated in her flashback to her failed engagement was back when she was 17, so let's be generous and say that was 2.5 years ago. But, we must also keep in mind that she's been a Pillar for at least several months by the time Swordsmith Village arc takes place. The Pillar meeting Tanjiro met her at was possibly her first of the twice-a-year meetings, but I wouldn't put it anywhere beyond her second. After the failed marriage discussion she would have spent some unknown period of time dying her hair and starving herself, before deciding to join the Demon Slayers. She accomplished her Flame Breathing training under Rengoku in six months, roughly half the time most Breath users train under their cultivators. Tokito is noted for becoming a Pillar in two months after taking up the sword, but Mitsuri probably stumbled her way into Pillarhood within months of passing the Final Selection; making the Kamaboko squad's quick ascension up the ranks look like nothing as she blows away the usual five years it takes someone to become a Pillar (or if they are especially skilled, more like two years, as stated by Gotouge in Taisho Secrets). While the way of swordsmanship and battle became Mitsuri’s everyday way of life, thereby leading to huge improvements, that's a really short time to develop actual battlefield experience. Among the Pillars, she is the least seasoned or naturally inclined for battle, it really is by accident of her bizarre strength that she’s gotten so far. That's hardly surprising, given her background and motives. For context, her interests are very domestic what with all the pet-keeping (four cats, a rabbit, and a whole hive of bees, by my count) and sweets and recipes, and her stated hometown would have been in the heart of developing city culture, with shopping and restaurants and movie theaters. There would have been no exposure to swords and the culture that goes with them, making her justifiably embarrassed of how monstrously her strength makes her stick out. Her inability to fit into a normal family life makes her feel worthless, even if she does have a base of love and support. (*Put a pin in these things, I'll be drawing a comparison to another character later.*) However it was that she was introduced to the Corp, it must have taken a huge leap of hope and/or desperation to leave the otherwise comfortable lifestyle for a life of battle. While Rengoku's home is not terribly far from hers, it still would have been a total break from the life she knew before, so she must had been betting everything on both her ultimate wishes; living in accordance with who she is, and finding a husband. Let's refer to these respectively as Wish A and Wish B. Note that "becoming a strong swordsman" and "elimating demons" are not among these goals; they are merely means to her goals. Now if we try to to follow her path as a swordsman chronologically, six months since taking up the sword under Rengoku, she's passed the Final Selection. On a mission with Rengoku, who now treats her as a peer, she's nonetheless filled with shame that she hasn't really picked up much skill and just waves her sword around with brute strength. 
Tumblr media
I love this bit of characterization because that is so, so easy a trap to fall into with martial arts. Even if you understand things in theory and do your best on proper form when taking things slowly, all of that very easily goes out the window when you're using them in the heat of the moment. The less experience you have, the far more likely one is to do this. Falling back on just throwing a punch as hard as you can instead of throwing a good punch makes Mitsuri so, so, so relatable. She is a normal girl with abnormal strength, not a battle genius. Like us normal people, and even like Tanjiro, she can only improve her battle sense with experience. This puts her in a very different situation than the other Pillars, who she meets either when they are very experienced, or when they are outright geniuses. This gives her a different sense of shame, which we'll come back to. While feeling ashamed that she can't live up to Rengoku's teaching, her fighting suffers with this lack of self-confidence (which, again, makes her very relatable because this is applicable to just about all of us normal people), and she only realizes the Breath technique when applying it through her own unique emotion-driven fighting style. While she goes on to name this Breath after Wish B (given that this is a romantic version of "Love"), it's powered more by a philanthropic love, realized only when she is protecting other people. This becomes a newly discovered third wish, as well as a source of confidence.
Tumblr media
In the side story novels, Mitsuri later on suffers another blow to her confidence which compromises her fighting and makes her fall back into wanting to hide herself, for she is ashamed of how her motives compare to Shinobu's. Besides Shinobu's encouragement and giving Mitsuri a venue in which to openly express her love and appreciation for other people, another child whom Mitsuri has rescued looks up to her and says a few things to restore her confidence. Getting that feedback and being able to express herself openly (Wish A) is the cycle that powers Mitsuri's confidence and keeps her ultimate weakness, shame, at bay. This, combined with words of encouragement from Ubuyashiki and Rengoku, is what really empowers her to embrace her unusual constitution and develop the Breath of Love. While it's said that this is an offshoot of the Flame Breathing she's formally trained in, it's more of a stretch than the relationship between something like Snake Breathing stemming from Water Breathing, and more like she's hit at the basis of Breathing itself to create a technique suited to her, like Inosuke did with his entirely self-taught Beast Breathing. (*Put a pin in this self-created Breath style thing, we're going to come back to this too.*) So, Mitsuri went on to become the Love Pillar. With the rate at which Pillars cycle in and out (based on how many the Upper Moons claim to have killed), I have to wonder how fast the Lower Moons getting cycled in and out too.  Even though these are her peers and we never see any other Pillars looking down on her, she sees herself in a lower position than the rest of them. Case in point, one thing I love that the anime did is that when Tokito chips the rock at Tanjiro and tells him off, Mitsuri is silently fangirling, and then when Tokito orders the Kakushi to draw back/leave, Mitsuri silently and automatically obeys and shrinks back. That wasn’t directed at you, silly!
Tumblr media
Though her Breath requires confidence, she still has a ways to go. When we see her again later, she's in a position of being a protector to everyone around her; the swordsmiths and her juniors, and she's treated with the awe and respect and acceptance of a Pillar; in this kind of setting she is fully in accord with Wish A (reinforced by her less formal third wish) and, thanks to Shinobu's encouragement, not ashamed of Wish B, thereby eliminating a big part of her shame-based weakness. She's added all this power and just as importantly, experience to her preexisting raw strength and flexibility.
Tumblr media
The experience is key here; she's gained a lot of battle sense since her first mission. She's not as taken off guard by demon abilities, and with her risen confidence, she's also gained more flexible thinking and can make quick adjustments in battle as needed. 
Tumblr media
Not entirely, though. At her core, she still relies on that brute strength.
Tumblr media
Ultimately, though toward the end she thinks she might be overpowered after all, it's that boost of confidence and cycle of philanthropic love from her juniors and desire to protect them than she recovers and makes use of her mark. (I'm glad no one's told her that this means she's doomed to a short marriage, should she ever even get one.)
Tumblr media
Following this historic feat; acting in a way that is natural to her and to her Breath to unlock a mark she didn't even know existed, she still feels a little shamed among the other Pillars for being so shamefully inarticulate about battle technique; despite this being what she's dedicated her life to. Again, it was never her natural desire to be a fighter, so it’s unsurprising that this part doesn’t come as naturally to her as it does to all those geniuses in the room.
Tumblr media
Moving on to the battle with Nakime, this is mostly played for laughs because Mitsuri's lack of battle sense compared to other characters is put on full display. She's emotional from the get-go and easily overwhelmed and this affects her concentration drastically, leading to stupid mistakes and ultimately having to fall back on her brute strength to break through pieces of the fortress instead of survive and fight through observation. Getting called out on this is meant to help her, and she absolutely does her best to summon back her battle sense, but it's all downhill for Mitsuri and her Love Breathing technique from here.
Tumblr media
As the battle with Muzan starts, that third wish is thrown back in her face as so many of her juniors die protecting her. Since he's powered by philanthropic love and confidence, she cannot recover any battle sense, and quickly falters so much that she must be removed from the battle rather than weigh everyone down. The difference between her and the other Pillars here is stark; her inexperience and lack of natural fighting inclination is, again, painfully obvious and relatable to a lot of readers. She has natural strength, but not natural talent. When she does return to battle, she only has that core strength to rely on again--no room for peace of mind, only brute emotional strength resulting in a panel that made me throw my fist in the air and cheer out loud because damn, that is hardcore, girl.
Tumblr media
But, in the end, Mitsuri succumbs to her injuries, and only right before death does she get closer to Wish B. Even with Iguro's promise, it's too late.
Tumblr media
This is super frustrating for a number of reasons, but if we're focused solely on the actualization of Love Breathing, it's because Iguro could have said something much, much, much sooner if he wasn't so ashamed of his own blood tainting her in this lifetime (not that she would have cared). Words from other people have such a huge influence on Mitsuri that if she had actualized Wish B, for which her Breath is named, she could have made humongous gains in confidence before being romantically loved, and having someone to openly shower in love. Imagine what she could have unlocked, if that shame she still carried for being too monstrous to be married could have been eliminated. But that's not all. What if the timeline had been different? What if she had not two, but five years’ experience? Or even more than that? What if, for a long duration of her experience as a swordsman, she was also experiencing a happy marriage? I invite you to consider the implications of a Mrs. Iguro Mitsuri who has the comfort and confidence of being herself with a husband, in addition to being in a leadership role in the Corp? A Mrs. Iguro who, with a little honesty from her husband who feels bothered that she’s embarrassed, stands up to Maeda-san and says that as a married woman she needs a more modest uniform?* A Mrs. Iguro who gained a level-headed battle sense that can only be refined through experience, not based in brute strength alone? She'd be such a happy badass. *(Not looking for a modern-era Western culture based debate on this; this is defined based on Mitsuri's desire for a proper Taisho Era marriage.) Now, remember those pins I put in place? Consider someone else who realized a natural Breath technique all on their own, who attained a mark without any intention to, who felt like a monster due to super human abilities that made them shamefully unable to fit into the ideal family life, despite only wanting a peaceful, happy wedded life? Someone who valued bonds with other people, a kind person who lived to protect others? Now, I'm not saying that Love Breathing is as powerful as the Breath of the Sun, or that Mitsuri is as innately powerful as Yoriichi (their natural skills were of different types entirely). But, as all Breath techniques stem from the same natural Sun Breathing source, Love Breathing might have found its way back a little closer to that source, in some way or another. Which is all to say, never look down on Love Breathing or on Mitsuri just because she didn't play as big of a role as the others in the final showdown. After all, that Breath was not yet all it could have been, and as a swordsman, she was not yet in full bloom.
339 notes · View notes
Text
Invisible String | Werewolf AU | Raul Mendes
Raul is a werewolf and his mate turned out not only to be human, but his best friend's little sister. And as much as he tried, he could not ignore that invisible string tying her to him.
Hello hello! This is a bit of an experimental thing and I'm really excited about it, I've always been highly interested in everything about alternative universe and fantasy in general, and ever since I received the first ask to write a werewolf piece I've been wanting to do it but also a bit nervous. So hopefully this meets your expectations and you guys like it! Let me know if this was any good and if you guys would like to see something else like this! 
*Word Count: 8K+;
*Warnings: a few curse words, a little angsty (i guess), minor drinking;
*Posted: March 28th, 2021.
                                               -*-
Raul felt like life liked playing sick little tricks on him.
Like the fact that werewolves had a very strict hierarchy and normally it worked nicely. The Alphas are the ones in charge and responsible for keeping the pack safe and in order. Betas normally were kind of the strength of the pack, trained to listen and do whatever the pack needed and physically skilled to fight off anyone. And the Omegas were the glue to all of it, the sweet and naturally more caring ones, and it was an ancient thing that was followed to this day. Until Raul and his twin brothers were all born Alphas. It was hard informing the pack that they’re all going to be the Alphas of their pack. And since normally it was only allowed one wolf to claim that position, it was harder to make older ones respect their decision and actually accept, but at the end of the day, they didn’t have much of a choice. The Alpha genes ran in the Mendes family for generations and thankfully their dynamic was actually great and the triplets formed a great group of wolves. 
And that was just an example of the things Raul blames on fate or whatever for making his like a bit more difficult. But maybe the hardest one was having mated with not only a human, but his Beta’s younger sister. His best friend’s and right hand’s sister, one of the only girls that was off limits had to be his mate. 
And it wasn’t even his choice. Mating is a common thing between werewolves and other creatures, often seen as a blessing, a reason to celebrate. It’s similar to what most people have as a soulmate. It’s two souls that were meant to be together and are deeply connected to the other. Sometimes it’s harder to notice, it can take a few years and sometimes it’s almost instantaneous, and it can’t be undone or ignored. And even though sometimes it can be denied by one of the sides, according to the ones who’ve been through it, it’s an awfully painful experience. Some even go as far as describing having a piece of you being pulled out of your heart. 
It also doesn’t have to be necessarily tied to a romantic relationship, you can simply be friends with them for the rest of your lives, even though it doesn’t happen most of the time. Most of the time it isn’t even something to think about, it just feels natural, you feel whole when you’re around that person, they’re meant to be your other half and normally it just clicks. And when you grow up surrounded by wolves, it’s normally a beautiful connection to witness. Raul always found their parents relationship amazing, and deep down longed for a similar deep relationship with someone, finding his mate and falling in love. He just didn’t expect it to happen the way it did. 
It was over four years ago and he was running a bit late to Mike’s, his best friend, nineteenth birthday he was having at his parents’ house. Raul got caught up sorting through some pack stuff and when he was finally done with it, he was already half an hour late and it was outside their little secluded “neighborhood” in the wooded area. It was a bit far from the town so the wolves wouldn’t have a problem with the humans since their existence was still a secret. Only very few and selected humans knew about them. So it was best for everybody if they built their little community on the woods just beside the town, and keep their presence among humans only when seen necessary. 
Mike’s father, who is a werewolf, fell in love with a human (Mike’s mom) and they decided to move into town to be closer to her job since she was a nurse and needed to be near the hospital in case of an emergency. And when Mike was born a wolf, they decided that he was going to be raised like his dad was in the wolf community and would make his decision in joining it or not when he was older. And he did choose the pack life since it felt more natural to him. But Y/N, his younger sister, was actually born a human and was raised by his parents like any human kid, and she was never taken to their community since she was three years younger than her brother and Mike was very protective over her, not knowing how his pack would treat her or react to her.
So when Raul parked his car right outside the address that was sent to him and ringed the bell, he wasn’t expecting to be met with his mate. But there she was, Y/N stood with the door open as her eyes widened the slightest bit and he was sure he wasn’t breathing. He felt like he was floating and her sweet scent of something like Roses and Strawberries was all he could feel. All his other senses were clouded by her presence just a few inches away from him. He didn’t know how to react or what to say, and for the first time in his life he was completely speechless. Raul was normally a very socially skilled person, he was good at talking to people and reading someone’s expressions like a book, always had a sharp answer at the tip of his tongue and knew what to do at most situations, but Y/N caught him off guard. 
She seemed a bit confused as well. Her mouth slightly a gape as she held to the wooden doorframe.  Y/N was really happy she was finally meeting all of her brother’s friends and getting to know a bit more of this part of his life she was deprived of. And she was a bit shocked to notice how big and strong all of his friends were, specially Shawn and Peter, who Mike explained to be the Alphas. They were also incredibly nice to her, she suspects it was her brother’s doing since every time they would say something or curse, they would always look at Mike first. But when the doorbell rang again, she knew it was Raul, he was the only one missing and they knew he was late due to “pack stuff” as they explained. She felt a bit jittery and basically ran to the door from the spot she was sitting next to it on her phone, wanting to get to know her brother’s best friend for a while now. But she wasn’t prepared to meet him.
Sure, he was identical to his twins, but there was something different about him that hit her hard. Of course, he had more tattoos and a few more piercings, he looked a bit rougher in the edges with his leather jacket and wild golden eyes, but there was something that wasn’t about his appearance that took her breath away. And suddenly she didn’t know what to do, they’re both stuck in their place staring at each other. And even though her mind was screaming at her to stop being awkward, invite him in and actually act like a decent being, Y/N couldn’t move a muscle, and he’s probably thinking she’s an idiot and too polite to invite himself in. And in the middle of her internal turmoil, he regained some self control for the sake of both of them. 
Raul cleared his throat shaking his head a bit “Hi, I’m Raul, you must be Y/N” he said and she swore she melted at the sound of his voice “it’s really nice finally meeting you” 
He offered his hand to her to which she swiftly grabbed, feeling his warmth seeping throughout her palm, his fingers curling around her much smaller ones. He had a beautiful design tattooed on the back of his hand and she got a little lost in it. 
Y/N sighed relief he broke the awkward moment and looked up back at him, trying to control her thoughts “Yeah, that’s me, nice to meet you too, would you like to come in?”
Raul smiled as he let go of her hand a bit reluctantly “sure” was all he said as he stepped in closer to her, being hit with a fresh wave of her sweet scent, forcing him to take a deep breath. 
“The boys are outside in case you’re wondering” she said placing a strand of hair that fell out of her little updo behind her ear.
Raul held back the urge to do it himself “Oh, so they annoyed you into staying in the living room?”
“No no” her eyes almost budged out of their socket “I was just- I was just waiting for you since I knew you were running late and they’re all talking, so I didn’t want to intrude and I-“
“Y/N it’s just a joke” he said through a chuckle as he saw her face flushing “relax a bit, honey”
Y/N giggled softly as she closed the door “I’m sorry, I-“
“Hey, dude!” Mike called from across the room, making their heads snap towards him “how’s everything back home?”
“All settled” Raul said taking a step closer to his Beta “just arrived actually”
“Oh, so you met my little sister” and even though it seemed like a normal sentence, Raul knew Mike and knew his posture like the back of his hand, he knew this was a reminder of the conversation they had back home about staying away from her.
“Yeah, she opened the door for me” he said and from his peripheral he saw Y/N nodding confirming his line.
“I see, the guys are outside, let’s go grab a burger for you” Mike said patting him on the shoulder and dragging him away from the front door where Y/N seemed to be frozen in place. 
Raul remembers vividly every little second of that night. Remembers how he decided he should keep his distance for the sake of his friendship and for Y/N herself. She was only sixteen when they met and she is human, which means the bond isn’t too strong for her, specially at first glance, and dating a werewolf was hard. He lived far into the woods and didn’t necessarily mingle with people in town, who were probably her friends and she wasn’t raised with his type, so maybe it would be too much for her. And Raul’s sure Mike wouldn’t be happy about it, at least not now where they first met and she’s that young. So he kept his distance, only talking to her when extremely necessary. 
And that was a pattern he kept for the remaining four years of their limited interactions (which he intended keeping that way).  
As older as Y/N got, the closest she got with the pack. She was always close to Mike, but since she was young she wasn’t allowed to walk or drive alone to the community, but as soon as she was old enough she was always around on the weekends and important dates. And she was just lovely, so everyone adored her, always wanting to have her around for monthly movie nights and even going as far as inviting her to spend the night. Raul couldn’t really blame anyone for wanting her around, he did too, but he couldn’t, so he didn’t say a thing about it. And he knew he made her hesitant on accepting those invitations, cause at every attempt she ever made to get closer to him, he shut her off. And he could see Y/N was hurt, but it was for the best. 
He even tried dating someone else for a while  and he noticed Y/N didn’t like it even the tiniest bit. The girl he was dating was a Beta that was temporarily living with them as her pack solved something around the area, and she was nice. But it didn’t last long, she was only staying for a few months, and on the day she left, there was a barbecue in celebration to one of the older wolves and of course Y/N was there. Raul was late since he was taking his ex to the airport, and Y/N didn’t even look at him when he stepped into the little location they were all settled. He found the act odd but didn’t say a word, only walking towards his brother’s and Mike who were laughing probably about something dumb one of them said. Raul spent a few minutes with them, but he kept looking over his shoulder where Y/N was sat, noticing after an hour she was missing and he instantly started trying to find her.
He dismissed his friends as he walked into the pack house, trying to clear his senses to track her in case she was hurt (since she was a bit wobbly on her feet already), but only to be met with her staring at her phone while sitting on the couch with a huge pout set on her lips. Raul was about to turn and leave when Y/N looked up, noticing his presence and he swears his heart stopped at that moment. She had tears filling her eyes and her lips were trembling slightly, a deep frown set on her brows.
“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be here” she mumbled sniffling softly “I just needed to clear my head a bit”
Raul nodded with softer eyes as he walked closer to her “it’s okay, are you hurt? Are you in pain?”
Y/N shook her head “I honestly don’t know why I’m so upset, I didn’t even drink that much or anything, I just-“ she sighed heavily and looked up at the celling.
“Tired?” Raul offered gently and she nodded her head slowly “want me to drive you home?”
“No, please, just go enjoy the night, isn’t Samantha here?” she said as he sat down beside her, still keeping some distance. 
“We broke up, she left today” was all he said and she looked up at him with wide eyes, but before she could start apologizing, he just pressed his hand to her knee gently “it’s okay, it wasn’t anything serious, no need to apologize, sweetheart” 
“I- okay”
“Still wanna stay?” he pressed gently “I can still take you home”
“No, it’s okay, I was supposed to spend the night anyway” she shrugged.
“Wanna go upstairs and take a nap?” was all he asked and she shook her head. 
“The thing is I was supposed to stay at Stacy’s room tonight, but her boyfriend showed up, so I guess I got the living room” she explained “which is totally okay, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful, I know you don’t like me much, and I don’t want to make things worse” 
And at that his heart shattered “wait, what?”
“Oh no, I really don’t mind, I can call a cab too, I can leave in twenty minutes too, I’m sorry I-“ she started breathing a bit heavily as he picked up her heart racing more than usual.
Raul shook his head, turning on the couch to face her better “No, it’s not that, I’m not mad at you or anything, I just- who said I don’t like you?”
“I- no one” she opened her mouth a few times before closing it until she said something that shattered his heart in a billion pieces “no one, it’s just something I’ve noticed throughout the years”
“What do you mean?”
Y/N sighed deeply as she glanced down at her lap, fidgeting the bracelet she always wore, which Raul caught on a long time ago to be a nervous habit “I know you get uncomfortable when I’m around and Mike told me it was probably something about you not being used to have humans around, and I totally get it, it’s just sometimes it seems like my presence is enough to put you in a sour mood and I don’t think it’s because I’m human or anything, and I shouldn’t be saying this to you, I’m sorry”
Raul took a deep breath as he squeezed her knee gently and seeing her relax a bit at his touch “stop apologizing for everything, you did nothing wrong, sweetheart, well, besides assuming I disliked you”
“Oh” was all she managed out as her brain ran a million mile per hour.
Y/N has had a crush on him for years now, ever since the first time they met. He was the literal description of her type, but the dreamy part ended there. Of course Raul was always polite and never made anything to directly hurt her, but he kept pushing her away and avoiding her like the plague, and maybe it was all in her head, but he didn’t seem like that whenever he was around others. And that did nothing to help her case. She knew nothing would ever happen between them, he made it pretty obvious he wasn’t attracted to her, but she’d like to try and be friends with him but even that didn’t seem to interest him. And it wasn’t his fault, she didn’t even knew the reason as to why she felt the need to have him around, but she just did. So Y/N just lost hope after all the attempts to make him like her, but he was always so distant and it still affected her after all this years. 
In the other hand, Y/N had no idea how hard it was to push her away. Raul was certain she knew exactly what to do to get to his heart, she had to. Every little thing she did made his heart flutter and she was just so good at having people wrapped around her fingers that she made her way through all of his friends lives. He thought they were mates at first glance, her scent was a great clue, but as they got to know each other better, even indirectly, just made him sure of it. Y/N meant much more than what he thought was possible, seeing her stressed over school stuff or sad about whatever reason was enough to put him in panic, not knowing how to keep his distance and stop her from hurting. And all his cold exterior wasn’t necessarily his choice, he knew Mike confessed he hoped his sister would not get with an Alpha, that meant she would have to give up a few things in her life and that would herself in danger for having Raul’s scent all over her. And Mike also told him he would do whatever he could to avoid that to keep her safe.
So he did it for her, to keep her safe from the problems that came along with living in a pack, dating a werewolf and being a human. But it was getting harder, and tonight he decided to ignore it, that she needed him more than she needed to stay away from him. And that’s what pushed him to wrap his fingers around her wrist, making her look up at him
“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” he offered in a lower voice “maybe it will help you clear your head a bit” and Y/N seemed a bit shook, looking up at him with wide eyes and she nodded slowly.
Raul smiled fondly at her as he got up with her following him up the stairs to the little movie room the pack out together for movie nights. They sat down side by side as he offered her to pick something for them, then Raul proceeded to reach for a fluffy blanket that was thrown on the corner of the sofa. When he turned back to her she still looked a bit lost, so he offered to put on a show he knew was her favorite, and she just nodded in response. Y/N was too nervous to do anything wrong that would push him back into being his closed off distant self, and she knew she looked ridiculous all tense and barely breathing by his side. 
Raul noticed her stiffness right away and decided to turn off the lights hoping this would make her relax even a little bit. And as the episode progressed he noticed she was getting more and more loose. An hour later, in the middle of the second episode, he felt her leaning closer to him, probably searching for a bit more warmth, so he lifted his arm to rest on the back of the couch and to make room for her in case she wanted. It only took a couple more minutes for her to be basically leaning most of her weight on him, and when her arm slipped, she fell mostly laying on his chest. And as soon as Y/N was ready to start apologizing, Raul shushed her softly, asking her to relax and pulling the covers up both of their bodies, and so she did.
He didn’t notice he was falling asleep until he woke up many hours later with the sound of voices downstairs from his brothers. Raul looked down at his chest to find Y/N cuddled to him, sound asleep as his arm wrapped around her waist held her still. He took a deep breath and almost chose not to wake her and just go back to sleep, to deal with the stiffness due to the sitting position he held and the consequences of sleeping there with her in the morning. At least until he heard the door cracking open slowly and Shawn’s head popping in. 
“Are you two okay?” his brother whispered as he noticed the girl asleep on the couch, and to that Raul nodded in response, afraid to wake her up “take her upstairs to your room, dude, Mike will find out you like her sooner or later and he’ll deal with it, just don’t let her sleep on the couch”
Raul sighed and nodded. Shawn bid his goodnight and closed the door with a soft click. Peter, Shawn and his mom were the only ones to know about his mating situation, and he liked it better that way. They tried convincing him to tell her at least, but they understood that maybe it wasn’t the right time just yet and let him decide what to do with his feelings. 
So he ended up taking his brothers suggestion and as gently as he could, he rearranged the girl in his arms to he could carry her upstairs to his bedroom. Y/N grumbled softly in protest, nuzzling her face further on his neck as she quieted down. Raul had to stop himself from cooing at her. As he walked out into the bright hallway she mumbled something unintelligible before calling his name.
“It’s okay, sweetheart, I’m here, it’s just me” he whispered as they walked into his room, before placing a kiss to her hair, gently lowering her to his mattress. 
Y/N slowly opened her eyes “Raul? I’m sorry, I fell asleep on you” she mumbled quietly. 
“It’s okay, just thought a bed would be a better place for you to sleep other than the couch” he said standing up to his full height and bringing the covers up her body “that’s why I brought you to my room”
“Thank you” she said grabbing his hand and he just nodded at her with a gentle grin on his lips “why are you up?”
“I’m going to crash downstairs on the movie room” he stated caressing the back of her hand with his thumb and she started shaking her hand. 
Her hold on him tightened “No, not a chance, I’m not taking you out of your bed for you to sleep on the couch, please stay here with me, please”
And how could he possibly say no to her looking so sleepy and so sweet?
He breathed a chuckle with a nod “just let me change first, do you need a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt instead of what you’re wearing?”
“Yes please” she murmured feeling a bit embarrassed for making him do all of this for her.
And as if he could read his mind “Don’t look at me as if you’re being a headache, yeah? It’s okay, sweetheart, let me just grab you some clothes” he squeezed her hand before letting go of it in favor of picking up what he promised.
He came back from his closet in only a pair of sweats and a thin white t-shirt, a similar paring folded in his hands for her. She got up to change on his bathroom as he climbed on his bed, trying to contain the excitement of the prospect of having the girl he’s been fond of for over two years, the possible love of his life. Y/N quickly returned in his clothes, following suit and diving under the covers, laying on her side away from him as he stayed on his back, trying to control his breathing after turning off the lights. A few minutes passed and he’s sure she was asleep, the room dark enough so he could only see the silhouette of her body by the faint glow of the moon seeping through his curtains. But then he heard the soft rustle of his sheets as she turned to face him, and he only turned his face on the pillow to properly look at her. 
“Can I ask you something?” she whispered almost as if she was afraid to break the comfortable silence that fell over them. 
Raul hummed in response “anything you want” his voice a soft and raspy tone, making her shiver slightly. 
“Why are you being so nice to me?” her voice barely audible as if she was nervous to ask, or maybe the answer frightened her more. 
“You don’t have to worry about it, you should just rest for now” was his response and she sighed in defeat, nodding her head before facing him away again. 
The clear defeat on her features, despite the darkness was enough to make him regret his words. So Raul turned on his hand, raising a careful hand to caress her exposed bicep. She flinched at first, not expecting his touch, but quickly relaxing to it as he felt goosebumps raise on her skin. He decided to scoot a bit closer almost as if he were testing the waters and she shuffled closer in response. Soon the hand on her arm slid to wrap her waist gently and Y/N sighed happily in return, finally resting her back on his chest. Raul placed a kiss at the top of her head as she melted under his sweet gesture. 
When she was in transition to dreamland, she swears she heard him whisper into her hair, the place he decided to muzzle his face “I’m sorry I made you think I disliked you, Y/N that’s not the case at all” he took a deep breath and she was far to gone to say anything back “You just seemed like you needed me tonight, and I’m sorry if I ever made you think your presence here was unwanted, you’re just too good and I don’t deserve you, sweetheart”
And not knowing if this was true or not, his whispered confessions with that slightly raspy and almost honeyed at the same time voice lulled her completely to sleep. 
                                              -*-
In the weeks prior to that event, neither of them said a thing about that night, not even in an indirect way. Raul barely spoke to his brothers about it, but they already knew what happened, and Y/N didn’t feel like telling Mike would be a genius idea, so she decided against it. And to her disappointment things got back to the old normal, at least for the most part. She felt like Raul was a bit more comfortable around her and didn’t try so much to stay away, but it wasn’t like that day, and it still hunts her that she actually caught a small glimpse of what their relationship could be. But it was also taking its tool on him, that night he slept like a baby and allowed himself to daydream that this could’ve been their reality if things were a bit different.
He woke up that morning pretty early as usual, for his perimeter check, but only this time Y/N was sound asleep on his chest, and maybe he stalled a bit to enjoy her sweet scent a bit more before slowly peeling her off of him and gently laying her back down on the pillows. There was only a bit of resistance in form of a whine but she ended up pulling his pillow to her chest before settling down. It was harder than he thought leaving her on his bed as he quickly changed and jogged downstairs to go on his run, but maybe it was better like this, this way he could run and put his head at ease and actually come up with his next moves. So that’s what Raul did, but as soon as he was back on the house, already in two feet only, she was already wake and preparing something in the kitchen as she chatted with Peter.
Raul leaned on the doorway as he watched her, back on the clothes from last night, talking about her next college project as his brother sipped on his coffee mug, so he cleared his throat not to scare her as he walked in “good morning”
“Morning, Raul, can you keep her company as she eats her breakfast? I actually need to run to Sam’s house to pick up some stuff before he leaves for work” Peter asked, a knowing look on his face as Raul just shrugged it off “thanks, got to go, Y/N, good luck with that sheet!” his brother said before leaving the kitchen completely.
“Hi” she said, eyes trained on the eggs she was making as he stood beside her, his hip leaning on the kitchen counter “would you like some?”
“Sure” he said looking around the room “did you sleep well?”
Y/N’s body visibly stiffened as she cleared her throat before answering “yeah, thank you about last night, by the way”
Raul nodded before changing the subject and seeing her relax at that, knowing it was for the best, mentally deleting the speech he came up with. And that’s where the whole conversation died.
                                              -*-
Months later Raul found himself in an equally as hard situation.
Y/N was spending the weekend at the pack house that was a bit more empty than usual, since a few of the wolves (including Mike) decided to go on a little getaway to run from the cold that was arriving sooner than expected, and since her parents were out of town, his best friend asked if she could stay with them so Y/N wouldn’t be all by herself for four days during the possibility of a storm that was estimated for that weekend. And of course they couldn’t deny it, specially since she was very sweet and everyone loved her.
And tonight was the second night of her in the house and Raul was pacing back and forth on his room, probably about to open a hole on the floor from pacing too much, but he didn’t know what to do. She was downstairs on the living room working on some sort of paper for college and he decided he was going to bed, but as soon as he reached his room, the storm that was expected to happen finally arrived and he literally heard her heart rate speeding up exponentially, but didn’t know how to approach her or even if he should. However, when he heard her curse under her breath when a lightning lit up the whole house he knew he could not do nothing, so he opened the door to his room and basically ran down the stairs. 
As Raul reached the bottom of the stairs, he identified Y/N to be the little ball wrapped up in a fluffy  blanket in the middle of the couch. He took a deep breath before carefully walking towards her, he tried making enough noise so she wouldn’t get caught off guard but not enough to disturb her. But as soon as he reached the side of the couch she looked up at him with wide teared eyes from the little cocoon of blankets she was. Raul physically stopped himself from cooing at her and pulling her to his lap.
Y/N gave him a little sad laugh as she rubbed her eyes harshly “I’m sorry we always end up meeting like this, I must seem like an idiot, right?”
Raul shook his head sitting down beside her “You’re not an idiot, what’s making you so upset?”
She took a deep breath before answering “I guess I’m just tired, and this paper is a bit harder than I thought and I’m actually a bit afraid of storms, and this is all stupid and I-“
“Hey, it’s not stupid, it’s stressful and it’s okay, no one really like storms, they’re dangerous and pretty scary”
“Sure, when you’re five” she said playfully rolling her eyes as he chuckled softly.
“Oh, darling, you know that’s not true”
“Are you scared of storms?” she asked with an arched brow.
“No”
“See?”
Raul chuckled as he shook his head “you’re really something, aren’t you?”
Y/N shrugged as she saved the document before moving to the book she was using as reference “Why are you up if you’re not scared then?”
“You are”
Y/N turned her head in his direction “Oh, I didn’t mean to wake you up”
“You didn’t, I just knew you were afraid and decided to come check on you” he said already regretting admitting to it.
“Oh, I’m sorry, you didn’t have to come though, I’m a big girl, I can take it”
Raul gave her his signature lopsided smile that she had only seen a few times directed to her, making her insides a bit toastier than before “I know you can, sweetheart, just didn’t want you to be alone if I could come down and try to help”
“Yeah, that’s the Alpha spirit, right?” and with that sentence Raul rested his head on the back of the sofa with a laugh. 
“Maybe” Raul turned his head to face her, deciding he was going to ignore the whole ‘pushing her away’ speech, at least for a moment “I was thinking that maybe we should make some hot chocolates if you want to finish this paper tonight”
“Are you serious?” Y/N had to confirm she wasn’t going mad and that he was actually willingly wanting to spend some time with her.
“Of course I’m serious, you can’t joke about stuff like this”
“What? Hot chocolate?” she asked holding back a laugh.
“Well obviously” he pushed himself up from the couch, relieved to see she seemed distracted enough to forget about the whole weather outside “I’m aces in the kitchen”
Raul offered her his hand and she smiled at him shaking her head before closing her computer and pushing it aside, taking his outstretched hand and letting him pull her up carefully “well, how did I just find that out?”
“Because I’m normally too tired and busy most of the time to actually make a meal”
She noticed he didn’t let go of her, and she wasn’t going to be the one to do it or point that out “oh yeah, being the Alpha and bossing everyone around must take a lot of your time and energy”
Raul chuckled as he walked her to the kitchen, letting go of her hand against his will in favor of grabbing the ingredients “Mike’s a bad influence, I bet his the one who told you that”
“You certainly didn’t, we barely talk at all” and as soon as the words left her mouth she regretted it. 
Raul was with his back facing her as he sorted through the stuff to prepare their drinks, and she was ready to start apologizing, afraid he was going to push her out all over again. Why did she have to go and say something like that? As much as the mood between them was playful, mostly cause he was trying to distract her and she knew it, but it was light and fun, she had to say such thing and ruin it. Sometimes things felt so natural with him that she just forgets that they aren’t that close. But before she could freak out and start spitting strings of ‘I’m sorry’ he did something Y/N wasn’t expecting. Raul started laughing out loud, turning to face her and she ended up laughing as well, maybe out of nervousness or out of relief, either way she laughed.
“I deserved that” he pointed out “but I guess that will have to change since you have such a distorted vision of the Alpha role”
“I wouldn’t particularly mind” she added softly, in hopes he wouldn’t pay much attention to it, but again, Raul was, apparently, a little box of surprises.
“Me neither, darling” he said before turning on the stove.
Y/N felt heat rising up her chest to her face and decided to clear her throat before changing subjects “Who taught you how to cook? Shawn’s a mess in the kitchen, Peter’s good but I know he took lessons”
“I guess I just learned from watching my mom, when I was little I used to spend a lot of my time in the kitchen with her whenever she was using it, my grandma too, and I guess I somehow absorbed that”
“Oh, they’re good?” Y/N took a tentative step closer to him, eager to learn about him and taking the opportunity of his sudden interest in spending time with her to milk all the information she could.
“My mom’s good, but my nan is just fantastic, she told me she used to sit on the counter by her father and watch him, and I guess I did the same”
“Well, I guess I’ll have to do the same cause my kitchen experience resumes to making toast, sandwiches and eggs” she said and he looked at her from the corner of his eye as if he was pondering.
“Then do it, I don’t mind a little audience” he said and she giggled, hoping on the counter beside where he stood. 
And that’s how they spent most of their night, with light chatter and a bit of healthy teasing going around and they were ecstatic about it. Y/N felt like she was finally able to relax after all the stress and she felt weirdly complete, almost as if before she was missing a piece. And Raul, he was over the fucking moon and already regretting keeping her away for that long, avoiding every type of contact with her and he was almost telling Mike to piss himself and ignoring all this stupid made up rules he made. He sat down by Y/N’s side as he helped her finish her paper and he was actually able to, finishing it in less than twenty minutes, so they just sat down side by side talking about random stuff, until he noticed she was starting to get sleepier and sleepier with every passing minute. 
“You should go to bed, sweetheart” he pointed as she was basically leaning her weight on his side, not that he minded, but they got really close really fast 
“Already trying to get rid of me?” she joked and he laughed despite being afraid that was something she actually believed in, and maybe that’s what drove him to ask her what he did next.
“Never, and if you’re still a bit nervous about the rain you can sleep in my room, I can always take the couch”
“I can’t kick you out of your bed” she said looking up at him
“You’re not kicking me out, I’m inviting you and offering to stay elsewhere”
Y/N shook her head “I don’t mind sharing if you do”
Raul didn’t expect it, but he also wasn’t mad about it “If you really don’t mind, then yeah”
“Okay, I’m ready for bed if you are” she said grabbing her stuff.
Raul nodded as he helped her to carry her school material up to his room, which he placed on top of his dresser before turning around to face her standing awkwardly in the middle of his bedroom.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“Hmm, nothing I just-“ she mumbled as he chuckled.
Raul stopped by the end of his bed “I can still take the couch if you’re uncomfortable”
“It’s not that, you don’t make me uncomfortable” she said as she walked up to him “I don’t know what it is, I just feel safe around you, is it weird?”
Raul was not expecting it as he looked down at her “No, not at all, you can climb on the bed, darling” he offered as he did the same on his side.
She ended up taking up on his offer and laying down on the other side, pulling the covers up her body “you can be really sweet when you want to, you know?” she mumbled softly after a while, after the lights were already off and the only source of light in the room was coming from the lamp on his bedside table.
Raul said turning to face her, only to find Y/N already on her side facing him “Don’t think many think the same”
Y/N laughed and shook her head “guess you’re just good at pretending you’re this big bad Alpha when you’re just a big softie”
Raul laughed throwing his head back and she couldn’t stop herself from admiring the sound, his neck and his beautiful face, looking a lot more soft than normally.
“I really like your laugh” she blurted out before she could think. 
His laugh was cut short when he realized her words and he smiled at her “I like yours, wish I could hear it more often”
“Well, it’s not really hard to get me to laugh”
Raul smiled at her “yeah, hm- I wanted to apologize”
“For what?” she asked, genuine curiosity shining on her eyes.
“For being a dick to you, for such a long time, there’s not an excuse for that, as much as I tried to come up with one” he finally admitted running his hands through his curls. 
Y/N bit her lower lip as she looked at him “you’re never a dick to me, you’re a bit closed off, yeah, but never a dick, you never made me feel uncomfortable or anything like that, and ever since that night where you made it clear you didn’t dislike me, a few things started making more sense to me”
“Like what?” it was his turn to get confused.
She sighed heavily “I thought for a very long time you just hated my guts or didn’t want me near for being a human or an outsider, but then you said it wasn’t the case and you were so sweet to me that night, and the morning after, and ever since that day, even though you weren’t necessarily cuddling with me and being around me all the time, you were slowly opening up, spending more time around me when I was here and at first I was confused, but then yesterday I was talking to Peter and he may or may not have told me this was something to do with Mike”
“What?” Raul almost sat up, but he didn’t want her to stop talking, so he held back his impulse and just kept laying down.
“And I also talked to my mom about it, very recently, and she said my dad had a similar reaction to her when he found out they’re mates… I’m not implying anything, and I can be totally wrong about it, but I thought about it for a second and I swear it made sense, it explained why I felt so drawn to you since I first laid eyes on you” she admitted, coiling into herself a bit.
Raul was completely taken back, not knowing what to do or what to say, not expecting her to come into realization and not knowing how to proceed, that until she mumbled a soft “please say something, anything, just don’t shut me off again”
“No, darling, it’s not that, I’m sorry” he said reaching for her hand as grabbing it in his “I’m just speechless, I- you feel it too?”
“Is it true?”
“I- yes” he sighed in relief.
“You’re my mate?! Or I’m yours, I’m sorry, I don’t know how this works” she giggled nervously.
Raul couldn’t stop his smile to blossom on his lips as he nodded his head what felt like a thousand times “whatever you want, I don’t mind”
“So what does that mean now?” she said shuffling closer to him.
“It doesn’t have to mean anything, I know your brother wouldn’t appreciate the idea and I don’t want to hurt you or cause any pain, darling, I just want what’s best for you” Raul said squeezing her hand gently.
“You could never hurt me, and I don’t honestly care about what Mike thinks right now” she said placing a hand on his chest “what do you want?”
“Honestly?” he asked and she nodded eagerly, which made him chuckle “you, in any way you’ll have me, but I also don’t want to rush you into anything, this works differently for me since I’m a wolf”
“Yeah, I know how sensitive you guys can be” she joked and he laughed, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead “but I want you, I feel the pull to have you near me almost as a need”
“I know, sweetheart, I feel the same way” Raul admitted pulling her closer by her waist “just don’t want to skip any steps with you, but I kept you away long enough”
Y/N nodded tipping her head back to look at his beautiful face better, their noses brushing due to the proximity “agreed, but I still want you close”
“We’re already close, darling” he breathed a chuckled and she shook her head.
“Are you afraid of kissing me? What are you? Twelve?” she teased and he laughed, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose.
“Of course not” he whispered leaning a bit closer.
“Then what’s taking you so long?”
“Bossy little thing” he teased one more time before closing the space between them in a gentle kiss.
Y/N tangled her fingers in his wild curls as he cupped her jaw carefully, afraid that if he squeezed her even a tiniest bit she was going to disappear. But his gentle touches soon turned into a bit more urgent ones and she pulled his hair, encouraging him to deepen the kiss. Raul tighten his hand on her waist, trapping her bottom lip between his teeth, pulling it to him softly before lessening the sting with a swipe of his tongue. And unfortunately Y/N had to pull away too soon for her liking due to her stupid lungs needing oxygen. Raul leaned in to press a bunch of soft, barely there, kisses all over her face. 
She giggled a bit breathlessly as she murmured “Mike will murder me when he finds out”
“Shh, we can worry about that when he’s back, he’ll have to get over it eventually”
Y/N giggled before leaning in for one more kiss.
“Okay, love, we really should sleep, and then tomorrow I can maybe take you on a date if you want” he said pressing a chaste kiss to her lips before resting his forehead on hers.
Y/N smiled up at him “Or we can have a little movie marathon here and you’ll make me dinner”
Raul laughed “you’re a mean one, you know that?”
“Why?”
“Because you know I can’t say no to you” he said and she smiled at him.
“Good boy, you’re such a good puppy” Y/N teased and he laughed.
Raul shook his head “okay, it’s definitely time for you to go to bed”
                                                -*-
*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.
*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.
*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!
*Hope you guys enjoyed it!
*xoxo
-🌙
193 notes · View notes