#actually is 14 hours a normal amount to be awake without breaks

[just-editor]

i'm going to have to be awake for 14 hours today with no naps. god keeps sending me his strongest battles even tho i'm his sleepiest soldier. i'm going to be pulling an all-dayer. i'm going to be struggling to survive, i'll have to be tough. i'll have to prevail

[littlemissagrafina]

Comfortember Day 14. Road Trip + Day 15. Campfire

With Blue Skies Ahead, We're On Our Way

@comfortember

Read On AO3

When Tony found out that Peter had never been camping, he was appalled (read: very dramatically shocked in his Tony Stark™ way).

If even he, the classic rich boy, had been camping as a kid (okay, Jarvis may or may not have been the one to take him but the point still stands, yes?), how could Peter not have?

Voicing a similar question, Tony couldn't help but feel like a massive asshole when he heard Peter's response.

The kid was supposed to go camping with his parents a week after their trip to a science convention in Sweden. The trip they had never returned from because of the plane that crashed with them in it.

"Oh, Pete. I'm sorry, Bud, I didn't know." Tony said to him, remorse obvious in his tone but Peter was happy and relieved to hear that it wasn't paired with the usual pity that people spoke with when his parents or uncle were brought up.

"It's okay, Mr. Stark." Peter shrugged. "I know you didn't mean anything by it. 'Sides it's not something that I could have really done with May and Ben anyway." He knew that they had struggled enough with money after they took him in. He couldn't ask for something as trivial and wasted as a camping trip with all they did for him already.

As if reading his thoughts, Tony perked up and gave him an uncharacteristically wide smile. "So let's go camping then!"

"What?"

"Let's go camping. I only went with Jarvis when I was pretty young, and you've never been. Let's go now. We can make plans and do a whole trip of it. It's your summer break soon anyway, we can go then."

Peter had a puppy like look of confusion, his brows furrowed slightly and his head tilted a bit to one side. His chocolate curls flopping over his forehead, only helping the uncanny resemblance to a labrador puppy.

"For real?" Peter asked him, a hopeful lilt to his voice. "You'd take me camping?"

"Course I would, Kid!" Tony ruffled his curls, laughing when Peter tried to pull away and "fix" his hair.

Peter couldn't believe that Tony was willing (and actually wanting to) take him camping. He would have thought that from his obvious inclination to technology and the lifestyle he lived that the older man wouldn't have wanted to be around in nature.

But apparently he was wrong and Peter couldn't have been more happy about his mistake.

It was going to be the best trip ever!

---

When Tony had suggested making a trip of it, Peter had thought only a few hours out of New York.

He hadn't thought that Tony would take them a whole 37 hours away to the freakin Grand Canyon of all places! Although maybe he should have expected it, he was dealing with Tony Stark after all.

They set off in one of Tony's more discreet and comfortable cars, a trailer with their camping equipment pulled behind them.

The trip, albeit long, was pretty good. They played loud music, fought over who picked the next song or album, they passed snacks and drinks between them, and took pictures both of the scenery as the drive and a few of them together.

After around 12 hours, and a few food, gas, and bathroom stops, they stayed over for the night in Indianapolis before leaving early the next morning again after breakfast.

The next 15 hours of their trip was much the same as the first portion of their trip the day before but this time, Peter was more noticeably fidgety and energetic. As much as he was having fun there was only so much time an enhanced teenage boy could spend sitting still in a car.

Eventually they came to a stop somewhere in Texas that Peter hadn't caught the name of since he'd fallen asleep an hour before they got to their motel. Tony shook him awake, his own eyes a bit bleary as he hadn't gotten to sleep like Peter had since he was driving.

They stumbled up to their room before passing out on their beds, not bothering to eat since they had grabbed some dinner at a roadhouse an hour or two earlier.

The next morning found them following the same routine as the day before. Breakfast was finished before they were on the road again.

10 hours later, they stood breathing in the fresh air of their campsite a safe distance from the edge of their destination stretched out in it's glory before them.

"What do you think, Pete?" Tony asked, an arm slung over Peter's shoulders as he stood next him. The obvious awe on the kid's face made the hours of travel more than worth it.

And it wasn't to say that he hadn't enjoyed it, he loved the time he could spend with Peter, but Tony still had to admit, he wasn't as young as he used to be. Spending so many hours in a car definitely wasn't good for his back.

But that was beside the point. The point was that Peter was able to experience something he hadn't had the chance to and Tony had the honour to be the one with him as he did.

"This is amazing, Mr. Stark! It looks so much more beautiful than in the pictures and videos I've seen!" Peter answered, his eyes still on the broad canyon before them.

"It really is, Kid. Now, c'mon and help me set up the tent and then we can find some wood for our fire."

Peter practically bounced over to Tony, his enthusiasm and excitement once again reminding Tony of an overeager puppy. It was adorable.

Setting up the tent was surprisingly fast and easy between the two of them, and it was up and had their bags, pillows, and sleeping bags stacked inside of it.

They marched around the edges of the trees bordering one side of their campsite, the pile of sticks and bark slowly growing in their arms. They were both happy to discover that almost all of their pile was dry enough to burn nicely. Not so green that it wouldn't burn but not too dry and old that it wouldn't last in the fire.

As they built it up carefully in a stack that would burn for a good amount of time, Tony taught Peter bits of what he could remember Jarvis and Peggy teaching him when he was younger. He told Peter about different ways to build a campfire so that it could either burn hotter, or cooler, for longer, or for shorter. He told him a few facts about the creatures that they heard out in nature that he recognized.

Peter soaked it all up like a sponge. It was all so different and exciting. He loved the city but there was something so freeing about being here with Mr. Stark.

It just made him happy.

Tony turned to Peter. "What'cha feeling for dinner, Pete? The meat is still cold in the cooler for the fresh ice, I can take it out and we can grill it? How's that sound?"

"That's good!" Peter smiled. "Can we use that baguette you got at our last stop? Maybe we can mix some garlic butter and let it bake in the bread over the fire?"

"Garlic bread and grilled sausages coming up!"

They gathered what they needed, got the meat out and wrapped the garlic bread in tin foil. They had to wait a while for the fire to cool enough to cook their food without burning it, so Tony sat back and watched as Peter explored the area around them, taking pictures of the things that he thought May, Ned, or MJ would like to see. It made Tony's heart warm to see Peter just having fun and not worrying over school or Spider-Man.

Checking the fire, Tony decided it had cooled enough and he started setting the meat and foil wrapped bread over the little grill. It wasn't too long until it was ready so he called Peter over, asking him to grab their plates and cutlery on his way.

They sat side by side as they ate, a warm silence around them that was only broken by the crackling of the fire and twittering and chirping of various little creatures around them.

Peter would remember the smell of the smoke, the garlic, and unique freshness of nature forever. He would smell a blend of the aroma at barbecues in the following years and think back on his trip with Tony with a fond heart.

He would always have a part of him that wished he could have had the chance to do this with his parents, with Ben. Similar thoughts would appear over the years but he would be happy because he knew that would want him to.

Peter looked up and caught Tony's eyes, the flames of the fire making the warmth in them seem even brighter than normal. He smiled and Tony echoed it.

He was happy.

[queenlokibeth]

I wanted to mention a couple of things about mental health that I think are important.

I'm doing relatively well at the moment. I've managed to go to bed before 2am most days, usually at midnight, and I've gotten 6-7 hours of sleep every night. I've eaten at least 2 full proper meals at reasonable times every day. I haven't turned in any homework late. I have to consciously fight off executive dysfunction but I do manage to win. I'm doing relatively well, which is how I notice just how badly I was doing just a month and a half ago.

What I want to say is that, when you're going through a rough mental health patch (especially if that patch is like a year or more) you might be aware that "sure, yeah, I'm not doing well" but it can also sort of feel like that's just... the way it is.

In December I consciously knew that I was having an awful time, quite probably the deepest hole in terms of mental health in my life, but I had also already been living like that for almost a year, and I transitioned into this hole more or less slowly. So last December I knew that I wasn't feeling or behaving the way that I did a year before that, but it wasn't a drastic change, I eased into that pit. Think about that metaphor about dropping a frog into boiling water and it will jump out, but slowly boil it and it won't notice and die.

I was conscious about the big things: for some reason I physically couldn't get myself to start tasks. I was distracted all the time. My sleeping schedule was something like 4am-10am when I wasn't pulling an all-nighter. I was showering once a week, did laundry every 6 weeks, and lost a lot of weight. I didn't want to do anything and I had no will to go outside. I wanted to read a book but not out of real pursuit of fun, but because I felt like I desperstely needed to catch a break and force myself to do something nice for myself. What I was obviously not conscious of was what was causing all of this.

Being in a pit of terrible mental health feels somehow even worse when you are fully aware that you're completely unhealthy, and you can pinpoint all the things that aren't working right, and you try to do all the correct things to "go back to normal", but you can't, and after a year you don't really remembers what your normal feelings or reactions to things were. In this awful state I was trying to manifest a version of myself who got her shit together and showered regularly and turned homework in on time and did laundry without it taking the same effort as hiking up a mountain, but this version of myself still had the same mental state, numbness, and mental fog, since that's all I knew at the time and I couldn't remember or understand that that's not my default state as a human being. And under that cloud of malfunctioning mental connections and chemicals I was NEVER going to manage to start functioning like a healthy person again.

Why am I pointing out all of this? Because it can be hard to realise how different things can be when you start getting healthier. There are factors of my personality that I hadn't even identified as altered in December.

I'm noticing this now because I did somehow transitioned into recovering extremely quickly. While it took me a few months to fall into a shit state of mental health, and then stayed there for like a year, now in about 3 weeks to a month I flipped my life around and everything is so much... brighter.

I don't mean for this to sound like an ad a la "you can, too, flip your life around!" But as reassurance that getting better is an option, and even a "quick" one, but obviously not without help, and not without PHYSICAL aspecrs. During that month I spent time in warmer weather, seeing sun semi regularly (I had not been outside for longer than 15 minutes at a time every few days in extremely cloudy weather for a few months at that point), I didn't have school so I didn't have to stress about a destroying amount of deadlines, I "recovered" sleep (the first day I slept for 14 hours, then 10 for a few days, and then dropped to 8 consistently), I ate healthy and hearty food, and I had conversations daily with my parents, after having been completely alone for about 7 months of not talking to anyone. During the first 2 weeks I still felt like a mess, the third week was better, and by the end of the month I felt vaguely functional.

By now I'm in no way fully better but Everything Is So Different. Now I'm realising and coming back to the way I always used to behave and feel about things. I find real joy in things and I hadn't even noticed that for a year I had NOT felt joy about ANYTHING I was merely using things to cope! And I hadn't noticed because I could no longer remember that a different feeling beyond "neutral" existed!

I'm excited about going outside now even if it's so so cold, I realised the other day that I needed something from the store and I just... put on my coat and went to the door? And i surprised myself mid step that it was just... that easy. I wanted to go somewhere and I could just... go. I didn't have to psych myself up for 3 days and then end up delaying my departure by 2 hours because that's how long it took me to find the will to put my shoes on.

Anyways I saw a candle and it was only $2 and it smelled really good and I just bought it because I deserve things that make me happy and then I bought some cinnamon flavoured coffee because I WANTED to try it and I also bought this coffee creamer that I saw because suddenly it was easy to just reach into the grocery store fridge and pull it out instead of planning it a week in advance and then overthinking it because do I really need it do I have space in the fridge am I going to finish it or will it expire first only to get overwhelmed and leave the store without it only to immediately regret it and get sad about not getting it once I arrived back to my room. I enjoy drinking my coffee now, I'm not just doing it to stay awake. I can actually get out of bed at the right time even if I'm still a bit tired because the sun is coming up and it looks pretty outside. It snowed yesterday and everyone was out at night playing with it and a stray snowball reached me while I was on my way to get dinner. This poor guy that I'd never seen apologised profusely and it was so funny! There was something about everyone in masks and standing 6 feet apart taking advantage of snowball fights as a way to interact with each other that felt straight out of a Hallmark movie.

Bottomline: at your worst there isn't anything that looks tangibly better, but there is, and you start to realise it afterwards. While you should definitely go to therapy if you can/need to, and that meds can be necessary, there is so much that you can start slowly fixing (with a lot of effort, I know) that will seriously, seeiously help. I know that it might sound like bullshit or like an oversimplification, but it's true and it's stuff that you'll never truly believe will work until you're doing better and you're like "oh shit damn".

Please sleep. Please sleep at night time and have a semi regular sleeping schedule. I know that it sounds like it won't be enough (and true, by itself it probably won't heal you completely but it will sure help a lot). I would always "understand" that sleep was important and "yes mom i know that I need to sleep better" but I never interiorised how DRAMATICALLY sleep affects your entire life. Regular, good, nighttime sleep helps regulate all the hormones and chemicals that we need. If your fucked up sleeping schedule shut down production of serotonin, congratulations now you have all the awful symptoms that come along with lacking an essential component of your functioning. And I know that it's often a terrible vicious cycle of not being able to sleep properly or procrastinating sleep or being unable to just go to bed causing mental health problems which continue to prevent you from being able to fix youe sleep pattern. Please take it from me, someone who a month ago felt like she'd genuinely never be able to function semi properly again, that forcing yourself to fix your sleep is a HUGE MEGA STEP towards fully recovering. I know it now because I can see the contrast, but a month ago I didn't understand it because I was like "well yeah I need to sleep better but what's the point I'm fine it won't change much" yeah well my brain is an asshole and I was not in fact fine but rather completely empty inside and just going the fuck to sleep semi regularly has made me feel like a real person instead of a weird cryptid for the first time in months. Just go the fuck to sleep, PLEASE.

[mar-chant-live-without-you]

Homesick

Pairing: Aleks Marchant x Reader Word Count: 2,705 Warnings: alcohol Notes: based on the song homesick by catfish and the bottlemen (x)

It doesn’t matter whether you were broken up with or the one doing the breaking. It doesn’t matter when it was, how long it took, or the reason why. Break ups are always hard in some way or another. That being said, break ups are always harder for one person than they are for the other.

Your break up with Aleks was one of the saddest days of your life. You guys had been together for over 3 years, but as you progressed forward, you realized you weren’t looking for the same things in life. Aleks loved to joke, light things on fire, smoke occasionally, and just fuck around in general. Though you loved his playfully, jokey, fucking around self, it got to a point where you were done with the childish games and were ready to grow up. Aleks wasn’t.

You met Asher a few months after you and Aleks had broken up. You weren’t looking for a relationship by any stretch of the imagination, but Asher was so cool and mature at the same time. He loved to joke around and have a good time, but knew when enough was enough. He was the best parts of Aleks and the best parts of you merged into one.

Within a few weeks, you and Asher were hanging out constantly and getting closer and closer. You felt comfortable enough to talk to him about life and yourself and even Aleks. Asher had to ask a few times, but on the 3rd try, you finally agreed to go out with him.

Aleks found out from their mutual friend, James, about 2 days later. He wasn’t handling it well at all. He was sad and confused. He was taking the break up harder than you, definitely. It was getting better and better until he found out that you guys were dating 3 months later.

3:01 AM / Saturday

Recently after you and Asher started dating, you get a call, waking you up in the middle of the night.

“Hello?” you ask, groggily.

“(y/n?)” you hear, slurred, from the other line.

You sit up in your bed, rubbing your eyes and squinting at the phone screen. Aleksandr  “Aleks?”

“I needed to talk to you.” he says. You can tell he is intoxicated in some way.

“Aleks, go to bed,” you say, preparing to hang up the phone.

“Asher’s cheating on you. He doesn’t love you,” Aleks slurs.

You take a deep breath. You weren’t interested in Aleks drunkenly or highly calling you in the middle of the night to accuse your boyfriend of cheating on you. It was annoying and it was sad.

“Goodnight, Aleks,” you say, hanging up the phone and falling back asleep.

3:08 AM / Wednesday

Aleks calls again in 4 days.

Your phone is ringing and ringing and ringing.

“Hello?” you answer.

“I miss you so much.”

You run your hand through your hair and check, though you don’t need to, and see that it’s Aleks yet again. You take a deep breath. “Aleks, please go to bed.”

“Do you miss me?” he says, slurring again. You can obviously tell it’s a repeat of the other night. Intoxicated Aleks calls you and blabs on about you and him and Asher.

“Aleks, please. Go to sleep,” you say, sleepily.

“I can’t sleep. I miss you. Asher isn’t right for you, you know that? I.. I was right for you, I miss you.”

“I’m hanging up Aleks,” you mutter.

“N-“ click.

3:36 AM / Monday

You're in Asher's bed, sleeping, when your phone rings, jolting you awake.

Shit, fuck, shit, shit, shit.

You weren't in the mood to explain to Asher why Aleks was calling you at almost 4 in the morning.

You grab the phone, muting it and ignoring the call. It lights back up almost immediately, buzzing and vibrating. You ignore it again, but it just starts going off again. You quietly get out of bed and sneak off into the kitchen.

"What do you want!" you say, hushed.

"You, (y/n), I want you back, I'm" -hic- "ready to change for you!" There he is with the slurring.

"Aleks you are not in any state to talk about this right now," you say back to him, still whispering.

"Why are you whispering? Where are you?"

"That's none of your business... I'm hanging up."

"No! Wait! Please! Let me talk to you! I miss your voice... I miss you in my arms. (y/n), please.."

You take a deep breath. Aleks was your weakness. You wanted nothing more than to go crawl in Aleks' bed and lay there forever. You miss him more than you would ever admit aloud.

"Goodnight, Aleks," you murmur. You hang up the phone and walk back to Asher's room and crawl back into bed with him. You push your head under his arm, trying to get closer.

He instinctively grabs you and kisses your head, still basically totally asleep. You feel safe and you feel happy, but it's not Aleks.

2:53 AM / Tuesday

He called you again less than 24 hours later. He wouldn't stop telling you he missed you.

"Baby, please," he was slurring, but more than that, he was.. crying? His voice was hoarse and his breathing was erratic.

You wanted to scream that you weren't his baby, but you couldn't. You wanted to hear it again and again and again.

"Aleks, you need to stop calling me at 3 AM, drunk, and telling me lies," you say, clearing your throat.

"It's not a lie. I miss you. Asher isn't right for you. It's..." -hic- "It's true... I'm just looking out for you."

"It's obvious that's a lie, Aleks..."

You took a deep breath. Asher was amazing. He was so responsible and funny and attractive and positive. Asher was legitimately almost perfect. And the only reason you say almost is because he likes crunchy peanut butter instead of smooth.

"Aleks, you need to stop calling me at 3 AM," you say.

"But I miss you. And I want... I need to hear your voice," he says.

If you're being honest to no one but yourself, you needed to hear his voice too. You hadn't talked to him since the break up and him calling you just made you miss his voice more and more.

"You need to stop, Aleks... Goodnight," you say, hanging up the phone. You put your phone back on the charger before laying back down and thinking about Aleks as you fell asleep.

3:02 AM / Tuesday

It had been a week since Aleks had called last. You found yourself waking up at 3 AM anyways, waiting for his "I miss you" call. You checked your phone for missed calls and upon seeing nothing, you contemplated calling him. After heavily deciding against it, you laid your head on your pillow.

1:45 AM / Friday

Asher had convinced you to go out, like actually go out. Like, "dressed up, hair done, call an uber because we're going to get trashed" out. You, James, Anna, Jakob, and Brett found yourself out, bar hopping all over downtown LA.

You were drinking and having the time of your life when Anna tells you that your phone is going off.

You grab your phone, seeing Aleks' name on the screen. Your eyes go wide and you silence it quickly and throw it in your back pocket.

"Are you okay?" Anna asks.

You nod at her and dismiss it, having another drink. The rest of the night, you manage to ignore your phone.

You make it back to your place by 2:40. You check your phone when you get in bed, 7 missed calls from Aleksandr,  14 unread texts from Alexsandr.

Please call mee I misd you (y/n) I cabt Pl Ease I miss yui sou mucg please I need to hesr your voice (y/n) (y/n) plwase Call me bahc I can't sleep withiut goy I'm so saf Baby please

You sigh, actually contemplating calling him back. You hadn't talked to him in more than a week and you wanted to hear him call you baby again.

You took a deep breath and punched in his number. He answered in a scary short amount of time. "(y/n)!"

"I was just.....," you start. What were you just? You idiot..... you just wanted to hear your ex call you baby????

"I just.... I," you didn't know what to say. You couldn't say anything. You don't know.

"I missed you," Aleks tells you, "I- I tried to just not call you because you told me not to, but I couldn't just... I couldn't... Asher gets to hear your voice every day.. he... he gets to hold you and kiss you and I couldn't go even 2 weeks without needing to hear you! To talk to you!"

"Aleks," you say softly.

"I miss you so much, (y/n)," he says.

You close your eyes. Why can you not stop thinking about him calling you baby. You just want- need him to say it before you go to bed.

"Baby, I miss you so much, it isn't fair. It isn't fair," he says.

You take a deep breath. Asher calls you baby all the time and it doesn't have the same effect on you as when Aleks calls you it. "Aleks, I'm tired, I.. I gotta go to sleep."

"Okay... Goodnight."

You hung up the phone, your eyelids heavy, falling asleep within seconds.

2:48 AM / Thursday

It was almost a week until the next call. But this one, this one was different.

Your phone rang and you woke up, grabbing the phone and answering it. "Hello?"

"Baby, I miss you. Can I please see you?"

It was different than the other times. He wasn't slurring his words, his throat wasn't hoarse, he didn't sound high. He seemed completely sober.

"What... what do you mean?"

"I wa- I need to see you, to hold you again. Just, just once more, (y/n), please." His voice was sober and, more than that, it was sincere.

"Where?" It was just one word, but it meant so much.

"My apartment, please," he says.

"I'll be right there..." You throw your legs out of the bed, putting on your normal clothes before leaving.

You make it to Aleks apartment pretty quickly, punching in his pin and making it upstairs. You knock on his door very softly. You were getting so nervous, waiting for him, but all of that went away when he opened the door.

You couldn't help yourself, you launched yourself at him, nearly knocking him over. You wrapped your arms around him and closed your eyes. He cupped his hands under your butt, and just like before, you jump up a little and wrap your legs around his waist.

For a scrawny boy, he's holding you up with ease. He's holding you tight. He walks towards his room with you. Making it inside, he lays you down on the bed and then lays down next to you.

You grab his waist, holding him tight and close. "I missed you, Aleks."

He wrapped his arms around you equally as tight. He kissed the top of your head and took a moment to just take it all in. "I missed you, (y/n)."

At this point, you can start feeling the fact that it's almost 4 AM. You yawn, closing your eyes. You can't help but to drift to sleep in the comfort of Aleks' arms.

7:37 AM / Thursday

You wake up entangled in Aleks, literally. Your legs are wrapped around his and your arm is under his head, but you're holding onto his arm with your other arm. His other arm is draped over top of you.

You slowly open your eyes, yawning. Once your eyes open completely you realize where you actually are and what you're actually doing.

You remove your arms from under and around him and your legs from around his and you sit up, causing Aleks to wake up.

You didn't do anything with Aleks last night other than share a bed with him, but you feel so guilty that you can't breathe normally.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Aleks says, rubbing his eyes.

"I... I have to go," you say, getting up.

"What? Why?" he asks.

"Aleks, I have a boyfriend. I can't just be sleeping over your place," you say, running your hands through your hair and then putting on your shoes.

As your about to leave, he stops you, "Do you regret last night?"

You think back to last night, remembering his arms around you and the feeling of his lips on your forehead. You remember how much you missed it. You shake your head, "No, Aleks, not at all." And with that, you're gone.

1:18 AM / Friday

You find yourself in bed fairly early, thinking about Aleks. Just like that, you get a text.

My bed is always open...

You're tempted to take him up on that offer tonight, but you fight yourself on it and end up staying in your own bed and shutting off your phone for the rest of the night.

12:36 AM / Friday

You thought that Aleks not contacting you would be a good thing, but in reality, it made everything worse. After that night with him, you needed to be with him again.

You had spent a few nights at Asher's during the week, trying to forget about Aleks, but you couldn't. You couldn't. You can't stress it enough, Asher is AMAZING, but he's not Aleks.

1:02 AM / Friday

You hesitate before knocking on the door softly. You wait a second before knocking again.

The door swings open and you wrap your arms around the shirtless blonde.

"(y/n)? What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry, I just. I got lonely at my place and... I'm sorry."

Asher laughs. "Why are you apologizing, baby? You're always welcome here."

You go into Asher's room, crawling in bed with him. You put your head on his shoulder and try to fall asleep with him, but you can't. You can't stop yourself from thinking about Aleks and how he weirdly radiates so much heat, but somehow manages to have icicles for hands. You can't stop thinking about his tattoos on his chest or the way he always kinda smells like peppermint.

You watch Asher doze off to sleep. You are lucky. You are so lucky to have such an amazing, perfect boyfriend. Asher is everything you want in your future. He has his head on his shoulders and a plan for his life. He's the perfect guy to plan your future with. He's everything you want in your future, but he's not everything you want now.

You sit up at this realization. Aleks may be childish and he may not be the most responsible person in the world, but he loves you and you love him. He is everything you want right now. Right. Now. You write a quick note for Asher before leaving.

3:29 AM / Friday

You knock on the door, waiting for a response. After a few minutes, you knock again, harder. The door opens and you're in front of him. You're frozen.

"Aleks..."

This time, he launches himself at you. He wraps his arms around you and spins you around and holds you tightly. He runs his hands through your hair and kisses your forehead.

"Aleks. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I literally could not get you out of my head. I thought you not calling would help, but it made it worse. I thought spending one more night with you would fix it, but it made it really worse. I missed you so much, Aleks. I missed you fucking around and being dumb and so imperfect. I missed you so much. I love you, Aleks."

He holds the sides of your face and kisses you. Your eyes close as you just take in everything.

He takes you to his bed, laying you down, just like before, but it's different. You wrap yourself around him again, squeezing him tight. "I love you so much, (y/n)."

You fall asleep as soon as you close your eyes, sleeping the best you have in months.

[dazombi3fari3]

Hey doll hey!!!! Hope your having an extraordinary day. Today I’d like to review for you a full face of Pixi Beauty products. I will be following this post up with a second day wear test, so that I can try both the foundation and the beauty balm and I can try the concealer with and without corrector.

So let’s get started ….

BASE PRODUCTS:

Pixi by Petra Flawless Beauty Primer ($22 at Target and on their website): A++               You get 1.01 fluid ounces of product. A small amount of this primer is all you need …be careful because you can go from glowy to disco ball very easily.  This primer is a spot on dupe for the Marc Jacobs Dew Drops Coconut Gel Highlighter ($45 at Sephora and on their website) in the color Dew You? …. the only difference is that the Pixi one leans a bit more pink where as the Marc Jacobs one leans a bit more gold. I used a bit too much and had to start my face over I looked like a vampire in the Twilight movies. The second try I went in with less product and it left my skin so glowy I love it. Once you layer foundation over it, the look is so dewy and so pretty.

Pixi Flawless Beauty Primer on the left and Marc Jacobs Dew Drops Coconut Gel Highlighter on the right.

foundation on the left concealer on the right

Pixi Flawless Beauty Fluid ($15 at Target and on their website): A-                                        In the picture above the foundation swatch is on the left and the concealer swatch is on the right…. You get 1.3 fluid ounces of product. The reason I chose to give this foundation an A- is because this foundation only comes in 3 shades and none of those shade even come close to being deep enough for our deeper skinned beauties. With that said this foundation is amazing. It’s not too thick, not too thin, and blends in seamlessly. The color was spot on for my skin tone. 2 Pumps was enough to cover my full face and neck and still have a bit left to cover over spots that needed more coverage. It’s billed as a barely-there miracle base that transforms skin, making it appear fresh & gorgeous as fine lines are blurred, skin tone is evened out, and blemishes are erased. I don’t know if it covers blemishes because I don’t currently have any, but it did blur my skin. It does not set down so you do need to set it with powder. This is a solid foundation that does not oxidize, lasts all day, and doesn’t break down over the T-zone. By the end of the night my pores were very visible, but that might be from the powder foundation that I used to set this foundation. I look forward to using this foundation some more and definitely will use it up and repurchase it again.

Pixi by Petra Pat Away Concealing Base ($16 at Target and on their website): A+++!!            You get .13 fluid ounces of product. It comes in 6 shades with 2 for deeper skin. I gotta say that the applicator on this one is odd. Their website says it’s a Unique applicator sized like your finger with extra flocking for added softness and ease in blending. This concealer is billed as being concentrated yet skin-like, elastic and long wearing, and buildable for full coverage. I think the applicator is gimmicky but the concealer is beautiful. It’s a medium coverage concealer that can be built up to full coverage without creasing. Today I did not use a color corrector to test the strength of this concealer and it preformed wonderfully! You couldn’t see my fine lines, until I set it with face powder … I will try it again tomorrow with my Laura Mercier Loose Setting Powder instead of using the powder foundation to see how it goes…. but as of right now, I really like this concealer. I used just 1 swipe for each eye and didn’t have to go back into the product to cover both eyes. I will used up the rest and most definitely will repurchase this concealer.

Pixi by Petra Colour Correcting Powder Foundation ($20 at Target and on their website):A-                                                                                                                                         You get .28 ounce of product. This is a finely milled powder foundation that actually has great coverage. They bill it as a never cakey or heavy medium to full coverage powder. If you go in with a light hand this powder looks amazing, but the more you add the more it emphasizes imperfections. I chose to give it an A- for a few reasons… the first being that there are only 3 shades and, like the liquid foundation, it only comes in 3 shades … none of which are deep enough for anyone deeper skinned than me…. the second reason is that this is billed and being a flawless buildable powder foundation, but when you go in with more than just a light sweep of powder all the texture in your face is emphasized and it mattifies your skin way too dry. I like the coverage it gives with 1 pass of the brush but it doesn’t completely set the foundation underneath so I will use this as a touch up powder instead of a setting powder. I’ll use this one up but I don’t think I will repurchase because there are other powder foundations that I like at the drug store that are cheaper and that can be built up without making my skin look like the Sahara.

Pixi by Petra Beauty Bronzer ($18 at Target and on their website): A+                               This product came with a kabuki brush, I didn’t like the kabuki brush it was too soft and too flimsy. I would have preferred Pixi to include a  mirror or perhaps add more product rather then get this brush as part of the set. You get .36 ounces of product. It’s billed as being a silky, perfectly-pigmented bronzer that perks up skintone while looking natural. This is a satin finished bronzer so you get glowy skin, it in no way looks natural, although the tone of the bronzer is perfect. It’s a subtle pigmented bronzer so you do have to go into the product a couple of times to get a good color payout… but the look is so pretty. Now this is not a long wearing bronzer … by 6 pm all that was left was the shimmer of the bronzer which I was able to tone down with pressed powder…. but it’s still a really pretty bronzer. I’ll continue to use this one up but am not sure if I will repurchase it just yet …. I need more time to play with it to see if it will remain in my makeup rotation.

EYE PRODUCTS:

Pixi by Petra Hello Beautiful Face Case ($24 at Target and on their website): A+++!!!      You get .56 ounces of product. This is an all in one compact, it has 2 blushes, a highlighter, and 12 eye shadows. I was able to do a complete eye look, with the exception that there is no matte cream color to set your primer with, with as wonderful as these shadows are I did not mind having to pull a single shadow into the look at all. These eye shadows are finely milled and highly pigmented. It’s a great quality palette. There was some kickback in the pans but very little fallout on the under eye. The swatches are 1 pass of the finger, I didn’t have to build the colors up at all. The shadows blend well together and buff our so easily. I hope this is not a limited edition item because I definitely could see myself using this palette up and repurchasing it.

Endless Silky Eye Pen in Black Caviar on the left and Extra Eye Bright Liner in Extra Bright on the right. 

Pixi by Petra Endless Silky Eye Pen ($12 at Target and on their website): A++                  This pencil comes in 22 shades. You get .04 ounces of product. This pencil was so simple to use. It’s super creamy. There was no tugging at my lids. It didn’t transfer to my lower lash line, It did not fade or crack. I was able to get 1 continuous line on my lid without having to go over the line at all. I truly like this pencil…. I will use this pencil up and promptly repurchase it.

Pixi Extra Bright Liner ($14 at Target and on their website): F                                              You get .12 ounces of product. It’s billed as being an intensified version of their classic Eye Bright Liner and that it delivers a wide-awake look in moments. There was no brightness to this liner. It tugged at my sensitive waterline. Went on patchy and did not stick … it was gone in a 1/2 hour… today I had to reapply this at least 7 times… this is just a dud for me… a definite fail. I think I will purchase the Endless Silky Eye Pen in the color Matte Nude to use in my waterline instead of trying to use this pencil… I will be decluttering this pencil first thing tomorrow.

Pixi by Petra Endless Brow Gel Pencil ($11 at Target and on their website): A-                 You get .04 ounces of product. It comes in 3 shades, light…medium…and deep. This pencil was so easy to use. It made my brows a bit harsher than I normally like but it still went on effortlessly. It does fade a bit as the hours roll by, but nothing to harsh that it left me looking crazy or anything. I think if I had the medium shade my brows wouldn’t be as harsh looking…. I am going to purchase the medium pencil and see if the color difference will do the trick. It was a good pencil and I will most definitely be using it again. This pencil surprised me because I though it’s a wooden pencil and would be stiff and hard to apply… this was the furthest thing from the truth … it was creamy and smooth and easy to block out my brows and then fill them in.

Pixi by Petra Brow Tamer ($10 at Target and on their website): A+++!                                You get .15 ounces of product. This gel works better than the Anastasia Beverly Hills brow gel does. It held my brows all day, did not lift up the brow product underneath, was gloppy, and did not make my brows crunchy. I will be repurchasing this brow gel once I run out.

Pixi by Petra Lash Booster Mascara ($15 at Target and on their website): A+++!!!!           You get .25 ounces of product. It’s billed as a mascara that curls, defines, lengthens and thickens with a glossy, waterproof finish. It’s not a glossy formula, it dries down matte but with that said …. this mascara just gave my beloved Loreal Voluminous Carbon Black a run for it’s money!!! I used 2 coats of this mascara and my lashes did not clump, did not droop, did not get crunchy, and did not transfer to my lids or under eyes. I didn’t even need to use a lash primer with this mascara. Oh boy, I think I have a new love. The only thing that is a problem with this one is, it gets a bit messy around the stopper, but that’s not a deal breaker for me… I really love this mascara… I’m so ordering a back up.

CHEEK and LIP PRODUCTS:

Pixi by Petra Hello Beautiful Face Case($24 at Target and on their website):A+++!!!       The blushes in this palette are so pretty. You get a subtle peachy tan and a deeper peachy tan blush and 1 highlight or blush topper. The formula is a bit chalky but once you buff it into the cheeks it looks better. The blush lasted all day long with no patchy or faded spots.  I didn’t pick another blush because they all seemed to be shimmer shades and I like a matte blush… however they just dropped 2 new quads that are matte if they are anything like the blushes in this palette I will be purchasing them too.

Pixi Matteluster Lipstick ($12 at Target and on their website): C-                                         You get .13 ounces of product in this bullet. It comes in 11 shades. It’s billed as being full-coverage, with an adjustable-finish  for long lasting, vivid lip colour with a plumping effect. First of all this lipstick tastes awful! I don’t make it a habit of eating my lipstick, but whatever is in this lip product transfers to the mouth …. the taste is very hard to get around. The color is beautiful and lasts a decent time… but so does the taste…. and this lipstick did not plump my lips at all. The taste of this product is so bad that I will be decluttering this lipstick tomorrow. A definite hard pass for me.

Pixi The Layers Highlighting Palette ($24 at Target and on their website):A+++!!!! You get .81 ounces total of product. The smaller squares are .09 ounces each and the 2 bigger squares are .27 ounces each. This is a collaboration palette with Rachel Loves from youtube… I purchased it because I absolutely love Rachel Loves videos and just had to try her highlighters out. This is a unique palette because it’s designed so that you can mix the smaller squares in with the bigger squares to get a deeper , brighter, or paler highlight as you wish to mix. These highlighters are so beautiful. There is no glitter in them. They buff into the skin beautifully. This formula of highlighter does not emphasize texture in your skin, and it seems to melt into the skin when you apple setting spray… it’s not that it’s a powdery formula, it just seems to go seamless on the skin once you introduce a setting spray. I so love this palette, I highly recommend this palette to anyone how is a lover of highlighter. Out of all the products I purchased and tried this is my favorite Pixi find.

Excuse the hair … It’s time for a new Olaplex treatment. 

Final Thoughts:

As a whole Pixi Beauty gets a solid A++ from me. They have high quality products and a drug store price. They are a bit higher on the drug store price tag but so worth the splurge. When I first purchased these products I went in thinking, this company is going to let me down… there is no way that they are any good, hardly anyone talks about them anymore… well boy was I wrong. I truly had a blast trying out these products, so much so that I will be purchasing more products from them soon…. there is a setting spray of theirs that I would like to try and I need to get more eye shadow palettes from their line. I also want to try other lipstick formulas to see if they are better than the one I tried today. With as good as the other products were I am willing to take the chance and try out other lip products.

Well that’s all for now dolls…. remember save a spoon for a bit of makeup.

XOXO

Pixi Cosmetics Full Face Review Hey doll hey!!!! Hope your having an extraordinary day. Today I'd like to review for you a full face of Pixi Beauty products.

[setoangel01-fanfiction]

Adrift

Set Me Free - Chapter 14 (Previous Chapters)

Fandom: Sing 2016

Pairing: Ash x Johnny

Rated: T

Chapter Summary: Johnny drives Ash home and they discuss what other options, if any, they both have left for their respective futures.

Fanfiction.net

A03

"So…do you know what you're gonna do? About your dad, I mean." it was meant to be a quiet car ride but Ash found her mouth and tongue moving anyway.

If she analyzed the situation closer, she had no idea what had her trying to get this guy to open up more to her. Yet with a 45 minutes of silence as they drove back to the heart of the city in front of them, she supposed it wouldn't hurt to start some kind of conversation rather than just dealing with awkward silence.

"I uh, have an appointment later this evening to see him actually," Johnny admitted with a helpless shrug, "He probably won't show up, but…that's okay."

As Johnny drove, Ash glanced over at his profile. It was still hard to believe how traumatic this guy's life was; how much he had on his plate and the emotional strife he had to deal with was hidden behind such a kind eyes and a positive demeanor. How everyday, this guy went home with an permanent ache in his chest as he had to live with the possibility of his dad dying behind bars.

It must have been absolutely crushing.

"...So, what are your plans?" Johnny suddenly spoke again and Ash yanked her eyes away from him.

"Eh, I dunno." she muttered, forcing her gaze out the small amount of scenery she could perceive from the window.

"Will you try out for more performances around town?"

"Probably… Well, until I get rejected again that is."

"Aw, c'mon." he chuckled when he halted the truck at a stop sign - the shift in gravity making her stomach lurch forward. "You need to be more positive than that! You're a great singer and musician - go in there knowing you'll get chosen. You've gotta to be more confident in your abilities, Ash."

The porcupine had to force her eyes not to roll when she glanced over a him. He was looking at her, a smirk pulling up one side of his mouth and her stomach lurched in a different sense when she saw the flash of his white canines peaking through his gray mouth and instantly wanted to slap herself for thinking he had a great smile.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... Practice what you preach then." she grumbled under her breath and forced her eyes to drift from his face yet could still see his confused expression in her peripheral.

"Hmm?"

"You just said your dad wasn't going to show up - where's your confidence?"

Johnny's face fell for a moment before his normal calm smile was back. The truck accelerating back down another long winding road before he spoke again.

"You're right… I should be more positive. Thank you, Ash."

"I wouldn't thank me yet." she muttered mainly to herself whilst glancing back out of the window. Eyes glazing over as a sudden wave of exhaustion hit her hard. More mentally and emotionally draining than anything, but still there. Yet, she was focused and made sure to stay awake even if it meant continuing what she found to be her rather awkward attempt at conversing.

A few moments later and one question that had been lingering in the back of her mind kept pestering her; flitting about no matter how many times she tried pulling it down. After awhile, she stopped fighting it anymore and it just slipped out.

"If the singing thing doesn't work - what are you going to do?" She felt as if the question should have been directed toward herself but she couldn't deny she was curious about his options. Maybe it would give her more ideas to add to the list of her measly ones.

"...Truthfully? I never really took singing as a career seriously 'til I found that paper..." for a moment, her memory flashed to that moment she first saw it too - stuck to Lance's quills when they were getting on the train.

Upon reading it, a fire grew in her chest when she thought of possibly winning…that same fire now gone and now she just felt cold. Thinking of how useless all of this was; how if she didn't find it and they didn't go to that audition…she'd probably still be with Lance…Stuck with that jerk and working worthless gigs and dead end jobs for the rest of her damned life. At least now, she had other options and a chance to make her own future instead of being stuck in a rut with a boyfriend who never cared about her.

Who would have thought that single piece of paper could have changed her life (and Johnny's as well) the way it did? Her thoughts suddenly coming to a halt when said gorilla began speaking again.

"It just came out of nowhere when I was shutting the garage door," the way he said garage with his accent made her smirk a little, "I mean, before then, it was more of a hobby; somethin' I enjoyed but never took too seriously. An unfathomable dream almost but when I went to the audition and Buster chose me - or rather had to pick me over that giraffe…" he said with a mirthless chuckle, "It was the very first time I realized that I wanted to do this. I wanted to be a singer…" Johnny relayed the story slowly; his main focus on the road prevalent in this situation.

"So, you never sang much before then?"

"I wouldn't say that. I'd sing all the time - just only when I was alone. Typical places like in the shower, at the gym, when I'd go out for walks or skateboarding…even while I was waiting for my dad to finish his heists and I was the lookout."

"Wait...you sang when you were supposed to be a lookout for your dad?" Ash couldn't help but laugh a little at that; picturing sweet, innocent Johnny (lost in his head as usual) singing without a care in the world as his dad's somewhere robbing a bank. It was rather comical if you thought about it.

"Eh…" Johnny's face grew a tinge of red at her statement, "I wasn't the best lookout, I admit…"

"Heh. No kidding. But that was it? You never sang in front of people or played piano before now? I find that hard to believe." she said with a furrowed brow; she heard him playing the piano that day as she passed by Buster's office - he didn't sound like someone who first touched ivory keys a week ago.

"No...I never sang or played in front of people before recently…well, except my mum that is." A horrifying sadness flashed in his eyes; the briefest hints of a frown pulling at his lips when he spoke but before she could say a word, he continued, "…but that was a long time ago. I-I used to play piano when I was a kid so I guess some of it's coming back but also, Miss Crawly's a good teacher and I've always been a bit of a fast learner."

Ash was so tempted for him to elaborate more about his past but she wondered again why she was bothering getting to know Johnny even better now. Not to mention if he'd even open up to her anymore than he already had. She had to accept this was perhaps the last few moments she'd ever spend with him. Their dreams dashed by Buster's refusal, there was hardly any need to get to know him more but for some twisted reason, she kinda wanted to. Pushing down her doubts, she opened her mouth to speak but Johnny (thankfully in retrospect) beat her to it.

"To answer your question from earlier, I have other options. I worked at my dad's mechanic shop my whole life. In London, that was his job and owned his own business, but when we moved here and the business was slow…he had to give it up and that's when he started…well, you know; but I suppose that's one option I still have open." Johnny stopped at a light; glancing over to her to give her a slight shrug of his shoulders.

It seemed strange to think of Johnny under the hood or body of a car, covered in motor oil and grease; cutting up fingers that played the piano so beautifully; exhaust and the stench of gasoline perhaps ruining those vocal chords after hours of breathing it in. Fixing cars wasn't a profession she seen Johnny enjoying but she didn't picture herself working in a retail shop with a red shirt and khaki's either but beggars aren't choosers she supposed. In a perfect world, they'd both have record contracts and be living the high life but sadly…this was reality.

Ash thought if Johnny could make due with a regular job like most of the population, she supposed she could as well.

"What about you?" Johnny suddenly spoke again; the car lurching forward had her hand subconsciously grasping at the leather seats to steady herself even if the seatbelt was doing that for her. "You've been singing a long time?"

The question wasn't one she expected but since she asked him about his past - it was only fair she answered.

"My dad used to tell me as soon as I could talk, I was singing. Didn't pick up a guitar til after I met Lance though," she said with as much disdain as would fit in her voice; the one aspect she hated was that asshole was the one to teach her to play. Her beloved guitar containing such tainted memories she'd rather not ponder.

"In high school, I was in band and an after school music club was where I met him and the rest was history. He taught me guitar and even bought my the one I play - the only decent present he ever bought me. Over the years, we were a band I guess you'd call it; getting occasional gigs and I was hoping Moon's contest would be our big break…"

Ash let out a deep breath; accessing silently how life could change so fast without any warning. A rug ripped from under you leaving you no choice but to tumble and fall flat on the ground. Forcing you into the aftermath of staring up at the sky - gasping for air but none would come…

"Well, you know how that ended…" Ash shrugged it off; not bothering to acknowledge the glance of sympathy Johnny sent her. "But I'm not giving up - I'll figure this out. May take longer than I want it to, but truth be told, I'd rather be where I am now that still stuck with that cheating bastard. If that's all this did for me...I guess that's something I'll always have to thank Buster for."

Johnny smiled; the gesture more in her peripheral but still there. It was weird but it was true. At least where she was, she could do things on her own. Carve her own path in the sand and either follow the wind or fight against the tide. It was her life now and she planned to make the most of it.

"You'll be fine, Ash. You got that fighting spirit - you'll do just fine." Johnny's words were quiet and almost spoken under his breath.

"Yeah…and so will you."

At the next stop, Johnny glanced over at her.

Ash made sure her arms were crossed and eyes steadfast on the dashboard in front of her. Wanting to hide the fact she'd said something encouraging even if it slipped out almost unintentionally. Ash didn't catch the smile on his face or sparkle return to his eyes; only stared at the window as the truck and it's occupants began moving closer into the heart of the city.

Twenty minutes later, they arrived back at her apartment; the tires of his truck coming to a halt where he parallel parked in front of her apartment door. The ignition turned off and remained still for a long time; Ash hesitated and it was obvious Johnny was too. His eyes still steadfast on the road even when the car was long since parked. By the tilt of his brow and furrowed lips, you can easily tell he was tempted to say something but she wouldn't push it especially when her own mind was flooded with a million and one things that wanted to leech out.

If you asked why she was hesitating to leave, she couldn't exactly tell you.

Perhaps it was because she some part of her didn't want this to end… That once she passed the threshold of the truck door and back into her dark, empty apartment, all of this would truly be over for good. This past month, while crazy and wrought with unimaginable grief, torment, and pain…there was something about it she wasn't ready to let go of just yet. Would even fully agree that maybe, just maybe, she'd grown attached to those she met thus far - Moon, Miss Crawly, Rosita, Gunter, Meena…and of course, Johnny.

Hating it was only now that she finally realized it…

To think it took a new family of sorts to make her feel somewhat whole again after Lance's earth-shattering betrayal and her new encounter with loneliness that she never experienced before. These animals she just met were there for her when no one else was: listened to her, talked, comforted, and reached out when no one else bothered to ever care before (not even the guy she gave five years of her life to).

It was awhile before she even realized that Johnny's eyes were on her. Ash turned her head toward him and met his gaze steadily, an ache growing in her chest when he suddenly gave her the barest hints of a smile; one that clearly didn't reach his eyes for the first time she could ever recall.

"Well, we're here." he muttered the obvious and she couldn't help but smirk at that.

"Yeah. I noticed."

"Hmm. S'pose you did…Um, I guess, uh…I-I'll be seeing you around, Ash."

Ash knew he didn't intend to lie but who were they kidding? With no more hope of Buster turning around and making this competition a reality, there was really no reason they would see each other again. They were still teetering on this delicate edge of acquaintances and…maybe friends? Perhaps just two souls who needed to meet to realize other animals had struggles too and they had helped each other out in that sense.

"Yeah." she replied steadily; she guessed she was a liar too.

In those moments of hearing about his father, she'd felt as if she knew a side of him no one else did. He willingly told her a part of his life he had kept secret from everyone up until today…and it felt good. Felt good to connect beyond simple greetings and exchanged pleasantries.

"Sorry. Let me get your door." Johnny muttered and Ash watched as he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of his side of the truck. Busying herself with doing the same when he opened her door for her.

Her task complete, icy blue eyes met chestnut brown before slipping down his body to where his hand was proffered once again. The stubborn side wanted to push it away and climb down herself but in all actuality, she was just tired and didn't care about acting prickly and flippant right now.

With slight hesitation, she took his hand and allowed him to help her descend.

"Hey! Who knows? Maybe I'll bump into you again." Johnny chuckled in an obvious intent to try and lighten the somber mod that filled the air. Ever so gently, he squeezed her hand a bit as he helped her down the truck bed.

"Yeah. Maybe..." Ash couldn't help but return the sentiment as she stepped safely onto the sidewalk. The two glanced at one another, a few words going much left unsaid and it was a full minute before either of them realized they were still holding hands.

"Ooh. Sorry." Johnny was the first to apologize as he gently withdrew his hand.

"Don't be." Ash said without thinking, flinching a bit at the words and pretended to kick at an invisible pebble. Didn't want to acknowledge how cold she felt without his hand grasping her own by sticking her hand into her skirt pockets and cursing those plaguing thoughts.

It felt so awkward and misplaced but the quietness felt comfortable. A silence between what she would now consider more than just co-workers, competitors, or acquaintances. It felt more than that now…but as things were, it's all it would be. The pain accompanying that realization was one Ash was nowhere near ready to confront…

"...I hope everything works out for you, Ash. I really do." Johnny stated and Ash met his eyes.

"...Yeah. Same to you too."

"Thanks." he replied with a soft grin.

Without even asking, Johnny began walking her to her apartment, a comfortable silence that was broken by their soft pattering of dragging footsteps as they approached her door.

It felt like the shortest walk of her life; one Ash would reluctantly agree she wished was a little longer. The very sight of her door made her fur prickle; the little knicks from quills, or all the times Lance kicked the ajar door open because he was too lazy to take his hands out of his pockets, or bumped it with his guitar case when he came home drunk.

Memories she wished would just go away…especially now…

"It was nice getting to know you a little more." Johnny spoke, breaking her out of her reverie. Her fragile heart skipping a bit at the context and the genuine tone in which he spoke. "...and thanks for opening up to me and listening. It really helped me Ash. Thank you…"

"Eh. Yeah." she shrugged casually even as her heart nearly pounded out her chest and her palms sweat something fierce, "No problem."

Johnny's smile grew but fell a second later when she finally took her keys out of pocket.

"Oh. Sorry for keepin' ya." his whole demeanor shifted; a look of guilt rose on his face that Ash immediately squashed down.

"No. It's fine. Really."

"Well, anyway…" Johnny glanced out toward the street and somewhere far off before continuing, "I still better be going - that appointment with my dad is pretty soon."

"Oh. Oh, yeah, you better not miss that." Ash continued to hide behind a nonchalant shrug.

"True. Heh… Well, um…I guess this is goodbye for now." it was Johnny's turn to shrug, his smile lopsided and not at all the smile she was used to.

"I guess so." she waved a bit; the words felt hallow in her throat but was able to choke out, "Bye, Johnny."

"Goodbye, Ash." Johnny smiled for real this time before all of a sudden, he'd turned his back to her and began walking away.

In this moment of sudden panic she desperately wanted to say something. What exactly, she had no freaking idea, just something…Yet the more stubborn side ignored it; told her she was being ridiculous and for the first time in awhile, she listened to it. Forced her to turn around and push her key in the door and open it.

She didn't care.

She didn't care.

She didn't care…it was the only mantra that kept her from screaming out to him…but he beat her too it upon reaching his truck and turning back around.

"Oi, Ash wait!" Johnny suddenly spoke and a spark of happiness she didn't care to meditate over appeared in her like a spark when she turned back to him. Her eyes wide and curious as he approached.

"Yeah?" she said, voice much higher pitched than she intended; clearing her throat and hoped he didn't notice how her cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"You almost forgot these." he said and in his large hand was the baggie of cookies she got from Rosita's place.

…Had that only been a few hours ago?

…it felt like a lifetime…

"Oh." was her first disappointed reaction until she quickly followed it with a chuckle and an "Oops. Heh. Glad you remembered."

Ash reached out to grab the baggie, her fur prickling when she accidentally brushed the side of her hand over his warm palm. Once they were in her possession, Johnny pulled back and gave her a small military type wave with a flit of his his index and middle fingers by his forehead.

"See ya, Ash." he said before he had walked away and was in his truck before she could even fully process what was happening.

Forcing those strange feelings down, Ash turned around and opened her door and quickly closed it behind her. Yet something had her going to her window, peeking from behind her curtains to see Johnny sitting in his truck for a moment. Chestnut eyes flicked toward her apartment and for a few brief seconds, she thought perhaps he could see her but those faded when he turned away again. Fiddled with his steering wheel for a brief moment before she heard the truck come to life.

The purr of an engine and quick glance in his rearview mirror - than he was gone.

Ash flinched when the abrupt gravity of his absence hit her; staring off toward the direction his truck disappeared to for a longer time than she cared to admit…Only one thing was for certain…she didn't know how to feel about anything anymore…

[ceruleantrolls]

==> Noru: Lie awake at night thinking about people who wash their hair with soap

-- rainbowReflectivity [RR] began pestering hydraulicPsychiatrist [HP] at 02:53 --

[02:53] HP: Hello!

[02:53] RR: ) ) u remember me ( (

[02:53] HP: To be honest, no, sorry

[02:54] RR: ) ) thank god ( (

[02:54] HP: Give me a hint?

[02:54] RR: ) ) hows it goin yo ( (

[02:54] RR: ) ) peanut butter ( (

[02:54] HP: That

[02:54] HP: Sounds very familiar

[02:54] RR: ) ) dont think on it too hard ( (

[02:55] HP: Well I am now

[02:55] RR: ) ) no ( (

[02:55] RR: ) ) do not do that ( (

[02:55] HP: Yes

[02:55] HP: I will do that

[02:55] RR: ) ) i have a hypothetical question to distract you ( (

[02:55] HP: I love hypothetical questions

[02:56] RR: ) ) how many hangers do you think it would take to hang a scrawny 6'someshit man in his closet by his suspenders and or shirt ( (

[02:56] RR: ) ) asking for a friend ( (

[02:56] RR: ) ) whos super not a dumbass ( (

[02:57] HP: You can't do that, really

[02:57] RR: ) ) why ( (

[02:57] HP: Hangers are not very strong

[02:57] RR: ) ) yeah but if you like ( (

[02:57] RR: ) ) tied a bunch together with duct tape or socks ( (

[02:57] HP: They would bend because they are made to be flexible

[02:58] HP: Also

[02:58] HP: What is the context of this

[02:58] RR: ) ) what kind of shitty ass hangers do they give you bluebloods ( (

[02:58] RR: ) ) no reason ( (

[02:58] HP: Normal ones?

[02:58] RR: ) ) just yknow ( (

[02:58] RR: ) ) looking for new sleeping arrangements ( (

[02:59] HP: I wouldn't recommend that as a sleeping arrangement

[02:59] RR: ) ) why not ( (

[02:59] HP: Unless you want to physically murder your back?

[02:59] RR: ) ) how would it murder my back. it'd be fine the hangers are doing all the work ( (

[03:00] RR: ) ) what if i taped em to the ceiling ( (

[03:00] RR: ) ) and made some sort of like janky sexless hanger sex swing ( (

[03:00] RR: ) ) a sleep swing ( (

[03:01] RR: ) ) of hangers ( (

[03:01] HP: Okay, I'm going to say this as nicely as I can

[03:01] RR: ) ) no youre not ( (

[03:02] RR: ) ) i feel it ( (

[03:02] HP: Do you want me to put it in a mean way?

[03:03] RR: ) ) i mean whatever you're into ( (

[03:04] RR: ) ) im not used to being niced at when being called a dumb shit is a much easier option ( (

[03:06] HP: Hmm

[03:06] HP: Okay, so none your ideas will work, and I am concerned because you may die?

[03:06] HP: I tried to be medium on a scale of nice to mean

[03:07] RR: ) ) thanks ( (

[03:07] RR: ) ) i dont think ill die tho ( (

[03:07] RR: ) ) my ceiling isnt that high unfortunately ( (

[03:07] RR: ) ) not like in a 'i wish falling off the ceiling would kill me' way ( (

[03:07] HP: It doesn't take that much to kill you if you fall at the right angle

[03:08] RR: ) ) like a im a big ass dude in a tiny ass lowblood apartment way ( (

[03:08] RR: ) ) not with all the shit on my floor ( (

[03:08] RR: ) ) ive got a cushioned fall ( (

[03:09] HP: I once fell from a relatively short distance and broke my wrist evn though it was onto a soft thing

[03:09] RR: ) ) ow ( (

[03:10] HP: It's okay, because I have a robot arm now and it's

[03:10] HP: Well

[03:10] HP: Totally sick

[03:10] RR: ) ) that sounds ill as fuck ( (

[03:10] RR: ) ) what color is it ( (

[03:10] RR: ) ) is it gold ( (

[03:10] RR: ) ) is it platinum ( (

[03:11] HP: It's black

[03:11] HP: Not super dark black

[03:11] RR: ) ) if i ever lose a limb i want to get a new one in the fucking ugliest mutant shade of teal ( (

[03:11] RR: ) ) lame ( (

[03:12] HP: Teal is a nice colour!

[03:12] HP: I think wearing ridiculous amounts of gold if you're any higher than teal is a bit, um

[03:13] RR: ) ) a bit um ( (

[03:14] HP: It makes you look like the kind of highblood who yells at a lowblooded cashier for saying 'no problem' instead of 'thanks, have a good day'

[03:14] RR: ) ) i like seeing my bloodcolor all over highbloods tho ( (

[03:14] RR: ) ) its kinda hot ( (

[03:14] HP: You want to try going up to them and telling them that?

[03:15] RR: ) ) that they're hot? ( (

[03:15] HP: Yes

[03:15] HP: Because of the yellow

[03:15] RR: ) ) you think my ugly fuckin mug can go up to ANYONE and tell them theyre hot without getting the snot beat outta me ( (

[03:15] RR: ) ) i mean you havent seen me ( (

[03:16] RR: ) ) but im a goddamn mess ( (

[03:16] RR: ) ) so like no ( (

[03:16] RR: ) ) ill just fan myself from afar like some royal asshole or some shit ( (

[03:17] HP: I was thinking more that you would die

[03:17] HP: But fair point I guess

[03:18] RR: ) ) yea ( (

[03:19] RR: ) ) what am i supposed to do with all these hangers ( (

[03:19] RR: ) ) i paid 5 dollars for this 40 pack but now im having second thoughts ( (

[03:19] RR: ) ) damn you ( (

[03:19] HP: Sorry!

[03:20] RR: ) ) thats 5 bucks thats not getting me bandage socks ( (

[03:20] RR: ) ) or hair soap ( (

[03:20] HP: Wait

[03:20] RR: ) ) shit ( (

[03:20] HP: You weren't the heathen that washes their hair just with soap, were you

[03:21] RR: ) ) everyone washes their hair with some sort of soap my man ( (

[03:21] HP: That is not an excuse!!

[03:21] RR: ) ) its the same DAMN SHIT ( (

[03:22] HP: It's the same thing if fish an frogs are the same thing

[03:22] RR: ) ) i wouldnt wash my hair with a frog ( (

[03:23] HP: Indicating that you would with a fish?

[03:24] RR: ) ) you know its taking all of me to not respond to that with some sort of uncouth joke about seadwellers ( (

[03:24] HP: I don't want to hear anything about any seadwellers

[03:25] RR: ) ) u brought up fish ( (

[03:25] RR: ) ) but anyway ( (

[03:25] RR: ) ) like i wouldnt wash my hair with a real life gilled and finned fish no ( (

[03:26] HP: But yo would wash your hair with soap and not shampoo

[03:26] RR: ) ) i dont have to worry about conflicting scents ( (

[03:26] HP: Scentless shampoo is a thing

[03:26] RR: ) ) no shampoo smells exactly the same as the bar counterpart ( (

[03:26] RR: ) ) gross ( (

[03:26] HP: It's not a counterpart!

[03:27] HP: Why would you do this to yourself

[03:27] RR: ) ) i dont trust anything thats scentless ( (

[03:27] RR: ) ) it IS and you know it ( (

[03:27] RR: ) ) $ ( (

[03:27] RR: ) ) $pite ( (

[03:27] HP: Didn't I offer to personally buy you bucketloads of shampoo last time we talked

[03:28] HP: Because if i dodn't I will

[03:28] RR: ) ) first of all never ever use the term bucketloads to me again ( (

[03:28] HP: What's wrong with the term bucketloads

[03:28] RR: ) ) bruh ( (

[03:28] RR: ) ) second of all yes but i declined because i refuse to be some bluebloods hair charity case ( (

[03:28] HP: Brah

[03:29] HP: It's not a charity case

[03:29] HP: It's therapy

[03:29] HP: For me

[03:29] RR: ) ) how the fuck ( (

[03:29] HP: Because I will lie awake thinking about this at night

[03:29] RR: ) ) envy all the money im saving ( (

[03:29] HP: The fact that someone in the world uses soap to wash their hair

[03:30] HP: Is going to haunt me until I die

[03:30] RR: ) ) im going to go do it right now ( (

[03:30] RR: ) ) im going to eat it after ( (

[03:30] HP: I'm going to write 'use shampoo' on my gravestone

[03:30] HP: No!!!

[03:30] RR: ) ) yes ( (

[03:31] RR: ) ) nom ( (

[03:31] HP: You'll throw it back up

[03:31] RR: ) ) i clean my entire self AND get a meal out of this bar of soap ( (

[03:31] RR: ) ) says who ( (

[03:31] HP: Science and me

[03:31] RR: ) ) you think im not accustomed to the taste of soap motherfucker? ( (

[03:31] HP: It's not the taste

[03:32] HP: It's the chemicals

[03:33] RR: ) ) mmmmm soap ( (

[03:33] HP: You'll have to clean up your own puke

[03:33] RR: ) ) there'll already be soap in it ( (

[03:33] RR: ) ) so easy ( (

[03:34] HP: That's not

[03:34] HP: No

[03:35] HP: I mean technically you're not wrong

[03:35] HP: But also no

[03:35] RR: ) ) yes ( (

[03:35] HP: No

[03:35] RR: ) ) come to daddy soap soap ( (

[03:35] HP: Now I'm kinkshaming

[03:36] RR: ) ) hey youre the one with the shampoo fetish ( (

[03:36] RR: ) ) im just a simple soap farmer ( (

[03:36] RR: ) ) living off my soap crops ( (

[03:36] HP: It's called hygeiene and taking care of yourself

[03:37] RR: ) ) i do take care of myself ( (

[03:37] RR: ) ) i can name at least one instance of taking so much care of myself that happened within the last 24 hours ( (

[03:37] HP: You were just talking about sleeping on a bunch of hangers

[03:37] RR: ) ) for my back? ( (

[03:38] HP: It would ruin your back

[03:38] RR: ) ) my recouperacoons being fucky and i cant fix it ( (

[03:38] RR: ) ) what else am i supposed to do man ( (

[03:38] HP: Have fun cleaning up that soap puke when it hurts to bend over

[03:39] HP: Sofa? Bed? Lots of blankets on the floor?

[03:39] RR: ) ) ehhhhhhhhh ( (

[03:39] RR: ) ) none of those give you that floating feeling ( (

[03:39] RR: ) ) i need the slime or somethign like it ( (

[03:40] HP: you can get the slime and fill your bath with it

[03:40] HP: Or one of those inflatable pools

[03:41] RR: ) ) how am i supposed to get slime when my recouperacoon is sick ( (

[03:41] RR: ) ) do they actually sell that shit ( (

[03:41] HP: Yes

[03:41] HP: What do you think other people do when their coons break

[03:42] RR: ) ) fix them or hang themselves from the ceiling?? ( (

[03:42] RR: ) ) anyways ( (

[03:42] HP: No!!

[03:42] RR: ) ) i do actually have to go find a solution cause i gotta pass the fuck out sometime fore the sun sets again ( (

[03:42] HP: I have a spare one

[03:42] HP: Spare coon

[03:43] RR: ) ) srsly? ( (

[03:43] HP: Yeah

[03:43] RR: ) ) like just laying around? ( (

[03:43] HP: Yes

[03:43] RR: ) ) are you gonna kill me if i come to you and use it? ( (

[03:43] HP: Kill you?

[03:43] HP: Why would I do that?

[03:43] RR: ) ) its a good murderer ruse ( (

[03:43] RR: ) ) come down this alley kid ive got sleep for yas right here ( (

[03:44] HP: I live in a ruin in a forest

[03:44] HP: Oh wait

[03:44] HP: That isn't much better is it

[03:44] RR: ) ) okay then thats not happening tonight ( (

[03:44] RR: ) ) i live in th city m'man ( (

[03:44] HP: The forest is next to the city

[03:45] RR: ) ) im like dead center ( (

[03:45] RR: ) ) of the city ( (

[03:45] HP: Anyway I've never killed anyone before so killing you now for no reason would be kind of anticlimactic

[03:45] HP: I work in the middle of the city in a clinic

[03:45] HP: There's beds there too

-- rainbowReflectivity [RR] ceased pestering hydraulicPsychiatrist [HP] at 03:46 --

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

The Misadventures of Prince Kim - chapter 25

(aka the royalty AU story)

Huh, these are some adorable characters we’ve got here, right? It would be a shame if something... happened to them... >:D

[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24] [AO3]

The summer holidays began, and most of the students returned to their home countries for the long break. Kim left with Marinette and went to Cheng, and Max and Alix took the ocean liner to the northern port before going their separate ways.

It wasn’t that the journey made Alix feel irritable and tired, since she had taken that journey before and it wasn’t even that long. Perhaps it had been the fact that she hadn’t yet caught up on the sleep she missed the other night, where her brain had kept her awake for hours trying to think of how to let Kim down as gently as possible.

Considering this was the first year of her life she’d actually had any close friends, she had found herself more terrified of losing Kim’s friendship than she had realized. In fact, if he hadn’t run off immediately after confessing to her then she probably would have just agreed to be his sweetheart on the spot, just to keep him around. At least she’d had more time to think it over and trust that he hadn’t just been using their friendship to get close to her. No, he was a good friend, he understood that she didn’t feel the same way and was fine with it. Thank goodness for that.

The entourage of guards and press that turned up at the airport for her arrival did nothing to help her rather sour mood. Once she got home she was greeted by her family, then thankfully allowed to do as she pleased for the rest of the day. She decided to go rollerskating, hoping that would make her feel a little better.

She was just stepping out into the corridor from the throne room when it hit – a sudden surge of emotion, so strong she wasn’t even sure what it was at first. Anger? Fear? Helplessness? It felt like a mix of all three, so powerful she felt dizzy.

“Are you alright?” Jalil asked her. “You look really ill suddenly… really pale…”

Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm herself. Maybe this was a panic attack? She had heard of those. But then again, nothing seemed to have caused it… was that possible?

“You should take a nap,” he continued. “I’ll wake you up before dinner if you want.”

Alix nodded, unable to speak. She went down to her room and lay on the bed, not really expecting to be able to fall asleep considering how she was feeling, but her lack of recent sleep managed to overpower it within seconds.

She should have known that her sudden bad mood would be an indicator that her dreams were going to turn into those creepy, haunting ones again. This time it wasn’t ambiguous at all – it was a nightmare, and not just any nightmare, but the most vivid, realistic nightmare she’d ever had in her life. Bolting upright, tears streaming down her cheeks, she could only remember one thing.

Her snake beheaded.

The poor innocent queen cobra, its head having been cut off and lying beside the rest of its body.

Dead.

She scrambled out of bed and climbed into the snake enclosure, practically blinded by her tears but not caring. She just needed to find her snake. The nightmare couldn’t have been real, surely that couldn’t have happened, her snake couldn’t have been decapitated–

Oh thank goodness, there it was. Dropping to her knees, she picked it up and hugged it as best as she could. Kim the First was alive and well, head firmly attached to the rest of its scaly body. Seeming to sense her terror, it curled up around her reassuringly.

She couldn’t help breaking down into tears. It was only a dream, she knew that, it wasn’t real, but for some reason the emotions she felt were just not going away. She was just so scared, so afraid of what would happen if her snake really died, especially as brutally as that, so angry at anyone who would potentially do something like that, so upset and not knowing what to do…

At some point Jalil came into the room, expecting to wake her up from her nap in time for dinner, but he instead discovered her sitting in the snake enclosure, clinging onto her pet snake for dear life and still sobbing all over it.

“I h-had a nightmare,” she said before he could ask. “Snake… beheaded…”

Her eyes were still burning with so many tears that she could hardly see, but it looked like her brother was climbing into the snake enclosure too. Sure enough within a few seconds she felt him hugging her, just like he used to do when she’d had nightmares as a little kid.

“It wasn’t real,” he reassured her. “It was just a bad dream.”

“But… what if…”

“Shhh, don’t dwell on it. You’ll forget about it soon enough. It was just a nightmare.”

“Or a vision!” She stroked her precious pet’s scales, vowing silently she would never take it for granted ever again. “It was just… so r-realistic… I’ve n-never had a dream like that before! I’m s-scared!”

“It’s okay. It seemed like you were ill earlier, maybe that’s why you had such a weird dream. You just need more rest. It’ll be alright.”

“But snake lifespans! Shorter than h-humans… he’s gonna… he’s gonna d-die someday and I just… I can’t… take that… I’m gonna break, Jalil! I can’t live without this snake!”

She burst into fresh tears, fairly certain she had never cried this hard before in her life. Why was she even feeling so irrationally terrified over a nightmare? Normally she was never afraid of anything!

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” Jalil said. “For now at least this snake’s here to stay, okay? I promise. Everything will be fine.”

It sounded so hollow to her somehow. How did he know everything would be fine? He didn’t, that was what! He was only saying that to make her feel better, and it didn’t work whatsoever. Terrified, upset, angry, exhausted… she was filled with so many emotions it felt like she was going to burst. Had she ever felt this bad before? Not that she could remember.

“Maybe you shouldn’t go to dinner,” said Jalil, “since you’re feeling so unwell. Just stay here for now and I’ll have some food brought in for you, okay?”

“Okay…”

He patted her on the back and then left the room, leaving her alone with the snake. She tried to stop her tears but nothing seemed to work, like her brain had gone into shock and completely refused to listen to her.

Hopefully she would forget about this nightmare soon, right? She would get over it, and in a few days she would look back and laugh at how silly she had been. That would happen, wouldn’t it? Wouldn’t it?

Imperial Prince Adrien returned home to find his governess Nathalie standing at the top of the big marble staircase above the entrance hall, looking down over him with a much more serious expression than usual.

“Adrien, did you bring all your possessions back home with you?”

“Yes, why?”

“You may unpack them all fully. You won’t be needing to take them back to school.”

The porters at his side immediately began opening the various boxes of luggage, hauling things out.

“Why?” Adrien asked again.

“Your father, His Imperial Majesty, has decided it is best for you to remain here in Agreste from now on. In September you will not be returning to school, nor ever again.”

The words took a few seconds to sink in. He wasn’t allowed back to school…? Ever? It was like a sudden punch to the gut.

“Why can’t I go to school?” he asked, shocked to hear his voice cracking a little. “I love it there! I have so many friends, and I’m learning so much, and–”

“I’m afraid it’s not up to me,” Nathalie said, not looking him in the eye. “It is your father’s decision. You know he never wanted you to leave Agreste in the first place.”

“But what’s wrong with school?”

“During the most recent holidays your father noticed that your attitude seems to have changed. He does not think it a good change. If you stay here, away from the nobility and the riff-raff of lower ranks, you can learn to be… more like him.”

“But it’s not fair! Why didn’t he ask me? Or tell me earlier? I want to stay at school, I like having some freedom, I–”

“I believe this is what the emperor meant by your attitude having changed,” she said, looking down at the ground by her feet. “This carefree, spirited attitude, wanting to rebel and have your way all the time...”

Adrien glared up at her, wanting to yell at her, but he stopped himself. It was not Nathalie’s fault. She was just the messenger, and it didn’t look like she was happy about this outcome either. Anyway, hadn’t this same thing happened to Kim after the spring holidays? Perhaps Adrien could get out of it with some persuasion too.

He took a deep breath and then said, as clear and commanding as possible, “I would like to speak to my father about this.”

“Your father is abroad at the moment, directing the troops in the 7th region. He may not be back for some months yet, and he has already made sure to inform me that no amount of clever debating will change his mind – you are ‘grounded’, as the commoners put it. No leaving the palace. Do not even enter the palace grounds without permission, or you will have to stay in your room until your father deems you fit to leave.”

Grounded? Grounded was for people who weren’t being forced into living up to a duty that was thrust upon them, just because they wanted some friends and an education that wasn’t just propaganda. This was on another level entirely.

But wait… 7th region? In the colonies?

“What’s father doing in the colonies?” he asked. “He’s not taking over more land, is he?”

“…I’m not sure.”

That meant yes.

“But he should be back within the year,” she continued. “There are some issues in the region that he wanted to see to personally, so he went there himself.”

“What issues? Kim said that region’s too dangerous, that’s why he can’t go back home right now, so isn’t it too dangerous for father too?”

Nathalie shuffled on her feet nervously. “It may be more dangerous for citizens of Lê Chiến in that region than of Agreste.”

He felt his heart sinking. “What’s going on, Nathalie? What is father up to? Kim says there’s increasing hostilities between Agreste and Lê Chiến, is it because father did something?”

“The information is classified, so I really don’t think I should–”

“Please! Kim’s my friend, I have to know! I want him to be safe!”

She sighed, closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead. “Fine. I don’t know everything about it, but there were plans for peace between the two nations. The emperor was going to return a part of the 7th region. However, the leaders of Lê Chiến were unhappy because upon inspection, all the natural resources of that area had been stripped, leaving it essentially worthless and unable to even be used as farmland.”

“You mean we took their land, wasted it all up until it was unusable, then tried to give it back to them under the guise of a peace offering?”

“It does sound rather harsh when you put it like that, but yes. The leaders of Lê Chiến have been asking for a piece of land that is not completely barren, but our empire cannot afford to give any away. Your father is directing troops to find more land, especially since much of the area is filled with jewel mines which would be good to have under the empire’s control.”

“So he is taking more land,” Adrien muttered through clenched teeth. “And what about Kim? Why is it unsafe for him to go back home?”

“There have been skirmishes at the borders,” Nathalie said, looking uncomfortable. “Ever since the troops have been stationed in the area, there has been an increase in raids and attacks on merchants and traders carrying supplies in and out of Lê Chiến…”

“The troops are trying to stop trade from getting into Lê Chiến? Please tell me father’s gone to stop them.”

She looked even more uncomfortable now. “Well actually, I highly doubt he disapproves of their behaviour… he might indeed be encouraging of it…”

“You know what, I’m not even surprised,” Adrien snapped. “It’s no wonder no one at school liked me at first, when our empire goes and does things like this without me even knowing.”

“Adrien, running an empire is a matter of strength, and–”

“Oh come on, I know you don’t really believe that. You’re just saying that because my father made you say it!” He began stomping off towards his bedroom.

“Wait, Adrien! You have a schedule to attend to!”

“I don’t feel well. Leave me alone!”

Storming away into his room, seething, he realized that was the first time in his life he’d had an outburst of anger like that. Maybe he had grown a backbone at school, surrounded by others who were not afraid to speak their mind. It felt… freeing.

But that did not solve any problems. He was still stuck at home indefinitely, and Kim was still in danger. Not to mention Kim’s kingdom, which would soon end up Agreste territory if he didn’t do something soon. But what? How could he do anything when his own father refused to let him leave the palace?

Meanwhile, Kim himself was not having a much better time. Cheng was absolutely lovely, he had been there before and was welcomed with open arms, but so many things were playing on his mind that it was hard for him to enjoy himself here like he usually did.

“What’s the matter?” Marinette asked him, finding him leaning on a balcony railing one day, watching the royal guards at their practice. “You seem so weirdly distant.”

“I miss home,” Kim mumbled. He stared off into the distance, the rolling hills fading away into the horizon. Lê Chiến was in that direction. So close, yet so far. “I wish I could go back, I don’t even know when I can… and I’m worried about its safety…”

Marinette put a comforting arm around him. “That’s understandable. It’s been a long time since you’ve been there, hasn’t it? I’d miss home so much too if I was away that long. And I don’t know much about the safety situation at all, that must be stressful to think about. But I’ll do my best to make your stay here as fun as possible in the meantime. Is there anything in particular you need me to do?”

“Nah, it’s fine, you’re already being awesome… so is your family…” He looked back down at the royal guard practice. “Hey Mari? Who’s that one who’s delivering the food? That one in the corner with the basket…”

Marinette peered over the balcony edge. “Oh, him? It’s just Bluebell. One of the servants. Why?”

“Huh? No reason…” He rested his head on his arms and continued watching the practice. Or rather, watching the servant handing out fresh fruit to everyone. Bluebell… what a cute name.

“I think there is a reason,” Marinette said, smirking. “If you want me to set you up with Bluebell you can just ask.”

“W-what? Haha no, I’m not… I just…” He sighed. “Okay, yeah, he’s kind of cute. And I guess that means you probably noticed somehow that I like guys. But… it’s not like I know anything about him, and… I just… I’m trying to get over someone else, and… well…”

“Kim, the truth is I saw you and Adrien kissing at the winter party – you’re both so tall that the chairs didn’t exactly hide you. So yes, I guessed you like guys. And I can also guess who you’re trying to get over, considering how much you’re always drooling over Alix like some kind of… anyway, I know you like her.”

“Yeah, well it’s not happening, so I’d better fall for someone else quickly so I can carry on being her friend without feeling like a total creep.”

“Aw Kim, you’re not a creep! It’s okay to have a crush on a friend. Nino has a crush on me, and I don’t think he’s a creep. You’re only a creep if you be creepy, and you are definitely not doing that. It’s clear you care about her a lot as a friend. That’s a good thing.”

Kim smiled at her. “Thanks, Marinette. You always know the right thing to say.”

“Noooo, I so don’t! I can’t even speak a full sentence around Adrien! I’ve just known you since forever, that’s why it’s easy to talk to you. You’re like… like a cousin to me. Or some kind of long-lost brother. And I’m going to help you feel better if I can. So, want me to set you up with Bluebell? He’s really nice from what I know of him!”

“I don’t know, he’s a boy so I don’t think that would go down well…”

“And he has a twin sister who is also really cute, for the record.”

“Really? Okay. I’ll… I’ll just meet them then. That would be cool.”

“Nice!” Marinette held out her fist for a fist bump, and Kim happily obliged.

Over the rest of the summer holidays things had not improved at all for Alix – in fact they had just gotten worse. The nightmare about her snake was still haunting her almost all the time. Whenever she closed her eyes she could see the image of her poor decapitated pet, like it was branded onto the insides of her eyelids, forcing her to relive it over and over again. She took her snake with her everywhere for its protection, refusing to let anyone else touch it. There was no way she was taking any chances.

Her odd moods did not improve either, and though she tried her best to shake it off as normal teenage mood swings, it was clearly something else entirely. What was wrong with her? It was like she was steadily feeling more and more unstable, confined, impulsive, exhausted…

It made her so ill she ended up being let off her pharaoh duties many days, just because she looked so tired. On these days she would take her skates and leave the palace, just needing to get out for a while and clear her head. Why was she feeling so weird closed in, anyway? It wasn’t like she was grounded or anything, she could do what she wanted.

Over the weeks she found herself spending more and more time with her brother, for some reason feeling like she missed him even though he was clearly right there. It was somewhat nostalgic, in fact. Just like things had been when they were younger. She had hoped maybe it would make her feel better, but it really didn’t at all. Her mood just continued to deteriorate.

At some point during the holidays Max had come to visit with some trade shipments. Alix had told him everything, about the horrific dream and the way it still made her feel ill even all these weeks later. He suggested it might be school stress catching up to her, or a spell of anxiety disorder, or something like that – but that there was probably nothing to worry about, and queen cobra lifespans were long enough that the snake would be around for at least another 15 years or so. That didn’t really reassure her.

The weeks passed, and things just got worse and worse, until one fateful night very near the end of the holidays. She had a dream that she couldn’t remember exactly, but it was definitely something to do with the snake pond where she had adopted her pet snake from in the first place. Being asleep, dreaming about that place, that wasn’t so bad. The trouble started when she suddenly woke up in the quietest hours of the night.

Her hand… it felt like it was burning. As if someone had stuck a hot needle into the back of it. She sat up and squinted at it in the darkness, but there didn’t appear to be anything wrong with it. Lying back down she tried to go back to sleep.

The pain in her hand suddenly tripled in intensity, shooting up her arm like there was lava in her veins. It was enough to bring tears to her eyes. She sat up again and looked back at her arm, but there was still nothing there. Rubbing her hand and trying to get the pain to stop, she felt violent tingles running through her arm all the way up to her shoulder, so painful it made her stomach heave.

She held back a sob and pushed herself out of bed. It felt like her feet were made out of lead, and her ears were ringing so much it was like she was going to faint. She managed to crawl into the snake enclosure where her beloved snake was already waiting for her, having sensed that something seemed to be very wrong. It slithered over to her and wrapped itself around her, hissing soothingly as she clutched her stinging arm, struggling to breathe through the pain.

She hoped whatever it was would have stopped by now, but it continually increased. Spikes of pain kept stabbing at her arm, making her feel sick, making her wish she could just tear her whole arm free of her shoulder socket just to get away from it. Minutes passed, and still there was no end in sight. It hurt so much she curled up into a ball and bit down on the skin on her knees, hoping it would distract her. Surprisingly she barely even felt it. It was nothing compared to how excruciating the pain in her arm was, after all.

What was even happening? Had she done something to her arm without realizing? She couldn’t even remember now, not when her brain was so fogged up and her entire arm felt like it was on fire. Maybe she should go call someone for help, but the prospect of getting up, actually moving, needing to speak… it was too daunting. She was immobilized, paralyzed, completely overcome with fear and pain. The only thing she could do was cry, feeling terror overwhelm her every time the pain kicked it up a notch, like the very blood in her arm was curdling and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Of course she was no stranger to pain. Living an active lifestyle meant she’d had her fair share of injuries. But she had never, ever suffered anything nearly as bad as whatever was happening now. And every time she thought it couldn’t get any worse, that surely it had to stop now, it somehow managed to exceed itself.

How had she not passed out yet? Or thrown up yet? Or died? Surely she was going to die. No human being could ever go through something so horrendously agonizing, for so long, and live to tell the tale. No, she was definitely going to die, not even knowing the reason why, not even caring at this point. All she wanted was for the pain to stop.

It did not stop. For what felt like hours, days, years, it continued. She gave up trying to fight it and just lay in the enclosure with the snake, crying. No one deserved to come to such a painful, torturous end. No one.

After what felt like an eternity, the pain finally subsided. It went away as suddenly as it had arrived, leaving Alix confused and exhausted. She wiped away her tears and lay back down, falling asleep right there in the snake enclosure.

Thank goodness she was alive. Whatever that had been, she never wanted to experience it ever again. Or any pain at all, for that matter. It hadn’t left a visible mark, but she was certainly not going to be able to forget that in a hurry, much like the nightmare about her snake being beheaded that she’d had right at the start of the holidays. It was probably going to haunt her forever.

Was there any possible way to ask Master Fu about this at the oracle session? She needed answers. But the students could not ask him questions about the past, it had to be about the future. Surely, though, there had to be some way she could find out what was going on?

She would just have to think about it.

[wellmeaningshutin]

Short Story #43: Road Trip.

Written: 2/14/2017

The idea was simple: if she drove for a long time, she would either have some fun and quickly arrive at the next day, or she would die. So, having no better idea, she decided to hit the long stretch of desert road, in the middle of the night, swerving from lane to lane, bare right foot pressing the petal to the floor of the car, sometimes closing her eyes for a couple moments, radio blaring, flicking her headlights on and off, laughing for the first half hour, but then eventually getting bored after there was nothing but the long, empty road. The boredom didn’t cause her to drive safely, and it actually made her a little more reckless.

Right, left, right, left, no other cars to be seen on this empty stretch of road, no animals that dared to cross, just a lot of dark and empty desert. Closing her eyes for a couple of seconds, she thought about her life back home, but she could only recall memories of lying around, watching crappy movies, counting down the time until she would be pummeled and would have to restart the timer all over again. When she tried to explain this to people it always sounded like she was in an abusive relationship, and they’d usually look her right in the eyes-something most people rarely did when they talked to her-and they would say, “Elizabeth, do you need any help? Should I call the police?” And she would try to explain that it was all fine, but then they would just press on with, “Are you sure? Don’t feel afraid to speak up, there are plenty of shelters and services that help women in your position?” By that point, she would just give up on trying to outline the whole situation, explain that it was all under control, but it was a struggle to not make it sound like she had Stockholm Syndrome.

For a moment it seemed like a jackrabbit was running across the road, and she swerved to hit it, but a thud and plenty of effort to regain control of the car proved that the rabbit was actually a rock. Since the tires seemed fine, she kept going, there was moonlight to burn.

She really never could think of a good way to explain her living situation, and as she was driving her mouth outlined the best attempt she could muster to make it seem alright, and put people at ease. ‘No, no, its fine. I’m in complete control of the situation and I can leave at any time. The only reason I put up with the beating is so I don’t have to pay any rent, and I have a high tolerance to pain anyways. Look, if he was actually strong enough to do serious harm to anybody, then he wouldn’t have to pay some woman to let him beat her daily. Think of me like a prostitute-�� she shook her head wildly, that word needed to be avoided since it rarely had a positive connotation to it. ‘Think of it like rent. Most people pay money, and all I have to pay is comfort, while my money is left untouched and I have more to spend on whatever I need. Its basically like living for free, who wouldn’t want to do that, why does it seem to you like it was such a bad thing?’ This seemed convincing, and she could imagine the fictional person she was talking to, nodding and saying how reasonable that all seemed, but she was aware that this was just her fantasies talking, and she could probably do better to explain, thus a second argument was thought of. ‘Look, the guy is a literal sadist and is going to want to hurt somebody, but isn’t strong enough to pick fights at bars or attack people on the streets. However, that doesn’t make him harmless, it just means that without me he would eventually go out and target somebody who he could effectively inflict pain on, like-”

Headlights? Were those headlights in the opposite lane? Just making sure, she swerved into the same lane and tried to speed up, but her car couldn’t go any faster, so her foot-already sore from holding down the pedal for such a long time-pressed harder against the stationary pedal, causing a slight amount of pain and no other result. It turned out that she was right about them being head lights, and they swerved onto the dirt in the last minute, which gave her cause to cackle over the radio, which  was fading in and out, and would help give her a little more energy to stay awake for the drive. Time went on, the radio eventually died out enough to leave a low sound of static, and she started to get bored again. What was it that she thought of earlier that kept her entertained? Was she thinking about a movie she saw a while back? After a couple minutes, she remembered, and began trying to convince an imaginary person again, but this time she spoke out loud.

“Sadists are fucked up, right? There’s no denying that, well, I guess unless you’re a sadist, but to a normal person they’re fucked up. Nobody should get pleasure from hurting other people, but some do, and that’s just a truth that we have to deal with. Now, Randy might be a weak little guy, unable to do any real damage against a normal person, and could probably get his ass kicked by teenagers, but that doesn’t de-fang him, that doesn’t take away all of the bile that’s in his heart. He’s still a predator, just pretty low on the food chain, so he has to go after things that are even lower than him, which leaves children and animals. That’s fucked up, right? So, all I have to do is let him hit me for a little while every day, maybe give some fake screams or act like I’m very afraid of him, and that way I get free housing and he doesn’t go out there and commit evil acts against those who can’t defend themselves, the innocents.” Feeling really confident in her speech, she looked around her car to see if she had a pen or paper anywhere, so she could start writing it down, but by the time she looked back at the road a coyote was staring down into her headlights. With no time to move out of the way, the creature eventually stared at the underside of her car, directly at and under the tires, and was left as a mangy, bloody pulp far down the road.

This was only funny to Elizabeth at first, since after a couple minutes the right side of her car started to vibrate hard, and she realized she had a flat. It was only 2AM, and she already had to quit, but not because she was dead. It was a frustrating situation. Not knowing what to do, as she sat there in her dark car, on the side of the road, she tried to connect to a radio station but they all seemed like the same kind of dim static. She had no phone to call for help, and nothing to kill herself with. She was too antsy to go to sleep, and hope for sunlight, because now that she was just sitting there, at the side of the road, they could catch up to her in less than an hour.

Finally, she thought of a new plan, which was to wander out into the desert in the hopes that she would be mauled by a wild animal, bitten by some deadly snake, or find a ravine or cliff that she could use to plummet to her death. Before she did that, she would have to take care of other business, so she rummaged around in her car, looking for a flashlight, but there wasn’t one in the car. Turning on the interior lights, hoping that it would shed enough on the outside since the moon was hardly in the sky, having the same appearance as a discarded fingernail clipping, she got out of the car and walked around to the trunk, unlocked it, and looked at the pathetic sight inside.

Although Randy was a shaking and crying mess, with snot running over the duct tape over his mouth and dandruff mixed in with the sweat that caused his shirt to cling to that skeleton of a body, she had to admire that he was still alive, even with all of the blood that poured out of that wrist he had gnawed open. She didn’t even know how he was still alive, half of his body was covered in dark brown crust, and he smelt of copper, so she gave respect where respect was deserved. She also punched him directly in the nose, then again for a second time when the first failed to break anything, and told him “I’m leaving you here so they’ll take care of you. There’s no hope that you’ll either die an easy death, or be able to be taken into the authorities, but honestly you deserve everything that’s going to happen to you and I’m sick of dealing with your bullshit. I’d say I would see you in hell, but I figure I’ll at least get into purgatory, so I’ll leave you with this: Fuck you.”He tried to mumble something, it seemed desperate, but she didn’t bother to try and take the tape off, it was easy enough to figure out what he would probably say: kill me now, please kill me now, you know you want to kill me more than anything, so why don’t you, don’t leave me with them, you’re evil if you leave me with them, I was good to you so please fucking kill me, etc. Annoyed what she perceived to be as pleading, she slammed the trunk on him, then turned to run into the desert to save her own ass.

Then she realized that he wasn’t begging for her to kill him, he was trying to tell her about the car that was quietly pulling up behind them, headlights off, and she wished that she had decided to run earlier. What did she gain from seeing him before she left? Wasn’t it a good enough thought to know that his life was about to become a living hell? Considering running anyways, she took a couple steps towards the empty desert ahead of her, but a voice, belonging to some silhouette that had moved outside of the car, told her, “Now girl, you can’t out run a car so you might as well just stay there.” They had a point, but maybe if she did run they would run her over, which would probably be a better fate than what was probably going to happen to her. “Why don’t you reopen that trunk, show us what you have inside there.” Complying, she opened up the trunk and once again saw Randy, pathetic and frantic, but before she could turn around again, she woke up in a different trunk right next to that awful, awful man.

“I can’t believe I’m getting roped into this. You deserve this, not me!” Some muffles were given in response, and although she was sick of seeing his sweaty, snotty, bloody, tear drenched face, there wasn’t enough room for her to turn around, so she had to settle with just closing her eyes. The car they were in bumped, vibrated, and was generally uncomfortable, but what she couldn’t stand was feeling that asshole’s cold, wet body. “I should’ve been smart about this, I should’ve either killed you a long time ago, turned you into these fuckers so that I wouldn’t be a part of this, or at least should have brought a razor or something to, to-” She almost couldn’t believe what she was starting to feel pool up against her thigh, “ARE YOU PISSING ON ME?! God damn it! Fuck you, asshole!” She yelled at him in this manner for quite some time, partially for the urine, partially to vent all of the pent up frustration she had towards him, but mostly towards herself.

Eventually a compartment opened up behind her, one that was opened by pulling down a section in the back seat, and somebody told her, “Be quiet, or we’re going to pull over. Do you want that?” She didn’t want that, remained quiet for some time, and they didn’t pull over.

Lying there was dull and miserable, so eventually she began whispering to the guy. “You couldn’t go one fucking day? What’s wrong with you, do you have no sense of self control, do you even feel bad about what you’ve done or do you only feel bad now because you know that you’ll be punished for it? What was even going through your fucking head when you decided to do it, why not pick up a stray dog or some shit? I can’t believe I agreed to our deal in the first place, I can’t believe that I even tried to defend you!” This eventually proved to be dissatisfying, it was like talking to a wall, so she decided to rip the tape off of his mouth and demanded, “Well?”

It took him a little bit to adjust to the pain on his mouth, then to catch his breath. “Don’t take the moral high ground here, you’re the one who decided to keep me out of harms way so that you could take me into the police.”

“Well, I was also hoping that I’d get killed during the drive-”

“Who gives a shit if you were hoping that you’d die? You wouldn’t even want death if you didn’t decide to help me in the first place, you could’ve left me there for them, or you could’ve even just let me bleed out in the first place, but no, you needed to fulfill your own misguided sense of justice. Don’t act like you’re in the right here.”

“Don’t fucking act like you’re in the right here! Look whose talking? You think I’m wrong for wanting to see you fucking punished for what you did, because I thought dying was too easy for you? It doesn’t matter if my plan fell apart int he end, my intentions were good, unlike yours! Its not like-”

“So a suicidal drive across the state is somehow better than-”

“Its not like I killed a kid!”

Silence on his end, but not from guilt. She knew that he was just trying to think of a good enough argument, or a way to spin things around onto her.

“What, no comment? Is it too hard to act superior when you’re the one who couldn’t hold it in for one day, just one fucking day, and instead had to drive to some cheap ass family pizza parlor, wait among the games and-”

“I never went near the game section, you’re getting it all wrong. You don’t even know the facts, you have no idea what you’re talking about, and displaying ignorance-”

“At the end of the day, that kid is still-”

“Displaying ignorance-”

“The fucking kid-”

“DISPLAYING IGNORANCE DOES NOT MAKE YOU SEEM INTELLIGENT!”

After this outburst they both shut up, and quietly waited to see if the car would pull over. Several minutes passed, and they figured that they were in the clear, and Randy was the first to whisper and break the silence. “If you’re going to make me seem like the bad guy here, at least get the facts straight.”

In the darkness she couldn’t see his face, but she wanted to hit it again. “Okay, so because I don’t perfectly know the events that lead up to it, I can’t call you a bad guy? The kid is still dead, asshole. I don’t care how that happened, you still-”

“Oh, so you’re complacent with your ignorance? You don’t need to know the facts, you’re just complacent with your opinion and are willing to ignore any semblance of a discussion to pat yourself on the back and feel-”

“What discussion? Why do we need to have a discussion about this? Its pretty black and white, killing kids is fucked up and wrong no matter how you look at it. Its like being a nazi.”

“Oh, so you’re going to bring in the nazi comparisons, real original.”

“Shut up.”

“How long did I take you to think of that one, huh? You should get a Pulitzer for that comment.”

“Fuck you, killing kids is still fucked up, no matter what the circumstances.”

“Oh, so what about in wartime when children carry IED’s and soldiers have to kill them to save the lives of civilians or their-”

“So you’re saying that the poor kid that you decided to beat, break their arms and legs, and suffocated with a plastic bag, was carrying and IED and you had to kill them to protect the lives of the people in that shit hole of a restaurant?”

“No, that would be ridiculous to claim that, I’m just pointing out the flaws in you’re stupid argument.”

“Who cares if my argument is flawed, my argument isn’t the focus, we’re talking about whether or not it was evil of you to do what you fucking did, and it was. You have yet to do the impossible and prove that you are not a bad person for what you’ve done.”

“Well, it seems like you already have made up your mind about the whole subject, and there’s no use in trying to talk to you. All I wanted was to discuss the facts, but it seems like you just want to put your head in the sand.”

“Oh, fuck you!”

“See, you’re only proving my point.”

The car stopped, and after a little while she could hear car doors slammed. There were footsteps on gravel outside, and somebody began fumbling with the door of the trunk. When it finally swung open, and light had almost blinded her, she could start to see that not only was Randy dead, but he had probably been that way for quite some time.

[bitt3rsw33tsymph0ny]

1. If you had to choose, whiskey or tequila? Why?: Living in Scotland now I would have to choose whisky. Firstly, the whisky here is excellent. Secondly, whisky really sends me over the moon! I had it the other night and I don’t remember the last time I was that happy/hyperactive! I also don’t remember much... 2. While doing school work, do you take your time or do you try to get it done as quickly as possible?: With uni work it depends, I usually take my time because I won’t understand it if I go fast. Unless I have a deadline coming up, in which case it’s not my choice. 3. When did you last wear a scrunchi?: A few weeks ago. 4. If you were a writer, what would you write about most?: I think i’d probably write history books and articles. Fiction is my forte with writing but realistically if I had a job writing it would be related to research.

5. Do you sometimes yell to get your point across?: Not intentionally but sometimes when I’m riled up enough.

6. If you get a period, what symptoms do you get when you PMS?: I think my moods get affected, like I’ll be much more likely to lose my rag and cry over something insignificant. I also tend to crave things like chocolate and get hungrier easier. 7. Is there anyone at your school with a cool accent? What kind of accent is it?: Loads of people from everywhere. I have a few south african friends with nice accents, a few american friends (from the deep south), that’s a pretty interesting accent. Also my sexy Italian friend Co who I could probably listen to all day. 8. What is stressing you out most right now?: I have a 4000 word essay due in two weeks I have yet to start, so yes impending deadline stress. I also got matched for a fight in early Nov, so that’s quite nerve-wracking, my first real fight and all. I have less than three weeks to lose 5 kilos and get trained up for my fight. ARGHHHHHHHH. 9. Are you more smart and thoughtful or understanding and kind?: I’m not sure, I guess the latter? People would call me understanding/kind more than smart/thoughtful, though I like to think I try to be all those things. 10. Who last asked you for a favor? What was it?: My friend asked me to call a cab to the club last night 11. If you had to decide, what do you think people envy about you?: My white girl privilege. My upbringing in Greece and the fact i’m relatively well-off. my looks I guess? And my toughness. People are definitely jealous I can kick some ass. 12. If you want to get your crush’s attention, what do you do?: Fight them hahahah. No but seriously...or just talk to them? I’d make sure I look good round them. 13. How long have you been single or in a relationship for?: I have been single for a bit over two months now. 14. Are you closer to your friends or family?: My family and I are very close. 15. Do you know what you’re going to wear tomorrow?: Nope, but I should probably pull out an outfit, make sure I actually get to uni before 9 tomorrow. 16. Do you use white strips or anything else to whiten your teeth?: Nope, I would like to but effort. 17. Are there any special events coming up? What are they?: My fight on the 11th. Mid term break next week! Halloween! Eliotts b-day! Yay!   18. When it comes to strangers, how trusting are you?: Very trusting. Almost too trusting. I mean I’m not a complete idiot (most of the time) but I do believe the best in people and might have put myself in vulnerable potentially dangerous situations in the past. 19. If someone insults/makes fun of you, what do you do?: Knee em in the solar plexus. Or just laugh about it? Or poke fun back. Depends on the insult and who dished it out tbh. 20. What color do you think represents your personality?: Gold bitch. Nah I think a deep purple or maybe vibrant orange represents me. 21. Would you rather drive on a long straight highway or windy backroads?: Long straight highway, my tummy can be a bit sensitive on the windy roads. Though they do tend to be in prettier areas. 23. What is the fastest you’ve ever gone in a car?: Not sure. Over 100 miles an hour. 24. Have you ever seen someone break their bone in real life?: Yes, and I’ve seen my sisters arm snapped bendy like a banana. So disturbing. 25. If you got to choose an animal to disappear forever, what would it be? Why?: Uh, the one in the white house. <-- agreed! 26. What are the keys of your heart?: Food, good sex and laughter. 27. Are you sometimes a control freak?: Not really. Only in the kitchen. 28. If you’re online right now, do you have an away message up? What does it say?: Nope. 29. Do you know what your GPA is?: N/A 30. If you got to pick any winter sport to excel at, what would it be?: Skiing would be awesome. Or figure-skating tbh but I think i’d be better at the former. 31. Does it piss you off when people interrupt you? My flatmate constantly rages about this with me but I swear it’s just a cultural thing. Greeks interrupt each other, and try to talk over each other. Not to dominate the conversation, but just bc that’s how conversations go.

32. What event did you last dress up for? Who went to that event? 
 Last night. My friends 21st. A bunch of my old flatmates and first year friends.

33. What was the last picture you took with your phone? It’s a selfie. Sorry... i am merely a product of my generation

34. Are you a fashion-conscious person? Where do you buy most of your clothes? I would say so. I love having a unique style and I love expressing myself with my clothing! Most of my clothes are second-hand from my aunt, but I get a lot of stuff from random charity shops, or if i’m buying zara/hnm. 35. Do you have trouble waking up in the morning? What gets you up and awake? Oh man. Such trouble. If I have somewhere to be it’s easy for me to wake up, but if not - it’s impossible. Sometimes my flatmate comes into my room in the morning and brings me coffee to bed.

36. What’s something fun you’ve done this week? Who was there? 
 So on friday I went on the most fun date. It started in nandos, where we ordered two giant platters of chicken, then we went to a graveyard under stirling castle and smoked a joint on top of this hill. Then we walked home and on the way home, passed a park by my house which has giant swings, climbing frames and a zipline. We climbed up on top of the climbing frame and lay in a swinging basket. Smoked another joint. And THEN we went home and I had the best sex of my life, hands down. He is someone new I have only just gotten to know, a fresher from the MT club. But suffice to say it was the most fun I’ve had all week, and not just because we didn’t run out of things to say the whole night.

37. What’s the last thing you texted someone about? I cancelled a churro date with my friend because I need to study. I know, kill joy I am.

38. When and why did you last blush? 
 I think I said something stupid, that’s usually the reason anywho.

39. Do you currently have a favorite song? What is it? 
 Mazzy star - Halah, though it’s depressing af and just reminds me of Jiggles

40. What is one thing you and your best friend have in common physically? 
 We both have hazel eyes.

41. Now based on your interests, what is one thing you both have in common? We are both into the same kind of politics, interested in social/anthropological perspectives, those criticising grand narratives, such as white ex-colonial perspectives 

42. What, if anything, is hanging on your refrigerator? 
 Nada.

43. What is the last illegal thing you did, even the smallest crime? I was cycling in the dark without lights and got stopped by a police car when I crossed a road without stopping. But it was 3 in the morning and I was cycling home drunk after a night out, gimme a break.

44. How much did each individual thing you’re wearing cost? not much.

45. Is that the normal amount you spend on clothes? meh I don’t spend much on clothes.

46. Do you collect anything? Have you ever? I collect post cards from places I’ve travelled.

47. What languages do you speak? 
 English and Greek. and a wee bit of french.

50. Where do your grandparents live? My grandma lives in bridgend, wales and the other two in pelasgia, greece.

51. When is the next time you’re going on vacation? Where to? Nowhere, fourth year fun yay yay yay! I’m going to Greece actually for christmas. And I’m hoping to go somewhere in Europe in the next couple months if I find cheap flights away. I’d love to go to copenhagen or prague.

52. How well do you do in school? How are your grades compared to your siblings? I do okay, averaging on a 2:1 at the moment. My sister is an a star little kid, so she tends to do very well. 53. Does your family eat dinner together? Who does the cooking? 
 Yes quite a lot. My dad usually cooks, although my mum does too. They share the burden.

54. Are you usually motivated to work or are you a procrastinator?
 P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-O-R.

55. Has the last month been really stressful for you? No it’s been pretty fun and chilled tbh.

56. What do you base first impressions on? (Behavior, clothing, etc.)
 Mostly the kinds of things they like to talk about, the way they interact with others (socially), how polite/friendly they are.

57. Who do you know that is a vegetarian? How about a vegan? 
 I know loads of veggies. My sister has been one for 2 years now. I also know a lot of vegans, friends from uni mostly.

58. When is the last time you went out to dinner with a friend? Where did you go? Who paid?
 Said date on friday, it was kind of meant to be a friendly thing. Nandos, he paid. 59. What was the last thing to surprise you?  Niko sent me a snapchat, very random.