#actually you better believe it bc my discord buddies will back me up

[its-short-for-jackalope]

there's no apotheosis, they're just Like This

click for quality!

a discord buddy wanted to see Emma tormented by Zoey and her theater friends at work, aka why I think Emma deserves to be the murderer in Cast Party Massacre. /hj

[leejungchans]

♡ thank you for one year ♡

i know i haven’t been very active lately for mental health reasons, but i haven’t forgotten that today is the one year anniversary of me making this blog, which also happens to coincide with atiny day whjshjqja so to my fellow atinys happy atiny day ☆彡*ﾟ･ﾟ｡

i was gonna post a request event today to celebrate but i’ll wait until i’m better and less busy in order to give it the full dedication it deserves <3

in the meantime, i just want to take this time to write some thank you notes to everyone who’s made this experience so wonderful; truly, my blog has become a little haven of sorts for me and i want to thank you all for being part of it :’) hopefully i can be more active soon and continue to deliver writing that will hopefully brighten your day even if it’s just by a little <3 this will get long so everything else is under the cut!!

♡ all my mutuals, readers, and anons

thank you to all my mutuals, readers, and anons for making this experience so wonderful, and it honestly wouldn’t be the same without you. whether we talk a lot or occasionally through asks/dms/discord servers, you’ll always have a place in my heart and i’m always wishing you the best; if we’re not super close yet, hopefully we can be in the coming years!! <3 big big hugs for you

♡ megan @bat-shark-repellant

hello bestie!!!! as of when i’m writing this you sent an ask a while back about how your first ask to me was from 270 days ago, but if my memory serves me right you’ve sent another one or two before that on anon so you’ve truly been here since my baby blog days ☹️💗 idk if i ever mentioned this but i’m pretty sure the first ask my blog has ever gotten was from you, and i remember feeling so excited when i saw it in my inbox ahsjjwjs ;-; thank you so much for all the support and love you’ve shown me, and i hope we’ll keep being friends in the years to come 💕 ily lots and i’m always wishing you the absolute best ❤️❤️

♡ aria @joshuas

hi ria!!! hwhehwjsj i was actually reading through some of the first messages we sent each other through tumblr dms back in june and ;-; i was so awkward hwjdjqjsk 😭😭😭😭 but look at us now 😻 thank you for being my brainrot buddy and i miss you lots during these few weeks :( i hope life’s been treating you well bc you truly deserve it 💗 thank you for your love and care, and i hope the world returns it tenfold and beyond <3 your work ethic is so admirable but i also hope you remember to take care of yourself physically and mentally ☹️ it’ll always be okay to give yourself breaks to recharge and come back stronger and with a clearer mind ;;;; so please show yourself lots of well-deserved love or i’m telling joshua >:( good luck with your exams!! ily more than joshua he can eat my sock (affectionate) ❤️

♡ lucy @seungcy

WIFE!!!! i’m so sorry we haven’t been able to talk as much as we used to lately ;-; but believe me when i say i miss you lots and lots ☹️ can you believe it’s only been a few months since we married in the bald house 🤧🤧 the real modern love story me thinks 💗 thank you for being the meganon to my megachan teehee <3 you truly spread so much energy and positivity to others and i hope you know how much brighter your presence makes the world 🥺 i said this in dms but thank you for your letter, it really did come at the perfect time ;-; i appreciate you so so much and i’m beyond grateful we met <33 please take care of yourself grrrr arf arf or i’ll steal all your boyfies >:c you deserve rest and love and ilysm muah muah!! keep purring meow 😻

♡ mei @januarystars

meme :EUWAH: hihihi it’s been a while ;-; i honestly couldn’t believe my eyes when i saw the first ask you sent me, i look up to you and your work sm so i was honestly kinda starstruck for a moment ahjsha :maelt: no i won’t stop talking about it bc it meant so much to me and i’m so so glad we met 🥺💗 i hope you’re taking care of yourself, staying hydrated and getting enough rest :( you work so so hard and i hope you know that your efforts will not be in vain, and i genuinely wish nothing but the absolute best for you, bc you deserve all the kindness and gentleness the world has to offer ❤️ stay safe and ily <33 wonwho and whozi love you but i love you more than them >:( and if they say otherwise i’ll fight them idc if their biceps are bigger than my head!!!! 🤺💗

♡ skye @sincerelyskye

yeye!!! :bweep: it’s been a while since we talked bc of my mini break ☹️☹️ but i hope you’ve been well and i miss you sm ;-; ❤️ you’re the first dinonara i met on tumblr so if i can thank the rat (affectionate) for only one thing it would be that i got to meet you <33 i’m gonna be saying this a lot in this post but it feels like i’ve known you for much longer when it’s only been 5 months-ish ;;;;; thank you for all the love and support you’ve shown me 💗 and trust that i will treasure the penpal letters i’ve received from you forever ;-; i hope you’re not stressing too much from uni these days :( you’ve got this and ily!! i hope the world will always be gentle with you and you really do deserve all the love and appreciation it has to offer ❤️

♡ hana @soonshuas

hello jeonghanwife <3333 it’s been a while ☹️☹️ i miss you lots and i hope you’re doing well ;-; 💕 your writing never ceases to amaze me and every time i read it it really does feel like i’m reading modern poetry or something 🤧 you’re so so talented and i hope you’ll always remember that :(( you work so hard so please take care of yourself bc you deserve to be happy and healthy 💗 thank you for the love and ily muah muah!! i hope the world treats you with kindness always and i’m giving you lots of forehead kithes muah muah <3333

♡ daisy @ateez-elena

JDAISY JDAISY JDAISY!!!! it’s kinda crazy how it’s almost been a year (?) since we first started talking 😭 you’re the first friend i made here on tumblr and i’ll always be thankful for that 💗💗 you are so so so sweet, genuine, supportive and talented, and i hope the coming years bring you nothing but happiness, health and success (by your own definition <3)!! i’m always wishing you the absolute absolute best, and ilysm!! thank you for all the support and love you’ve shown me ;-; i appreciate you far more than i’m capable of expressing ❤️ ily and take care!! let’s get through the rest of our semesters 😤 we got this!!! <333

♡ nini @cherryutas

JNINI 🤩 my favourite catboy and mountain boy luvr <333 i’m gonna be honest, when i first came across your blog i was definitely too shy to reach out to you to be friends bc you seemed so cool and talented (and ofc you still are hehe!!) 😭🤧 but i’m really really happy and thankful i got to know you in the end bc i couldn’t imagine not having you as a friend :(( i hope you’ll be able to find peace and comfort within yourself very soon, and i truly believe we both will 💗 ily and i’m always rooting for you, ilysm and so do your catboys meow 😻 take care and stay happy and healthy!!! sending you lots of love and hugs <333

♡ aurelia @lilacleias

hi aurelia 🥺🥺 meeting you here was such a blessing and i really wanna thank you for all the love and support you’ve shown me :((( 💗💗 i appreciate you sm and i hope you know how loved and appreciated you are too <33 it’s so fun brainrotting and spoiler-ing with you and our convos bring the biggest smile to my face :’) please take care of yourself and give yourself lots of breaks and water and snacks ☹️ i’m always here for you and wishing you nothing but the best <3333 i care u!!!! and ily!!!!!!

♡ @wonwooslibrary @networkluvs @hao-are-xu @woozi @cloudyhaos @svt-incorrect and everyone else in the coffee bald house :>

hi baldies 😻🧑‍🦲 it’s been a while and i’m so sorry for being a bit ia in the server :( i miss talking to you guys sm and i hope i can come online more soon!! talking to you all in the coffeehouse never fails to bring a smile to my face and i’m so happy i got to meet you all 💗 i hope you know how amazing you are and how much happiness you bring to the world, and i’ll gladly scream reminders of that every day bc you deserve to be loved and appreciated <3 wishing you nothing but the best always!! stay bald and beautiful muah muah 😻

♡ @eternaljoongie @yunascular @timextoxhajima @sanshiine @soonyouns @woopetals @skzfairies @atzaria @atinymonster @1-800-minji @1-800-enhypenbibi @solarswonderland @yunhosaurus @writingbeary @ggukkiedae @enhycloud @haniehae

hi bestiessss :> i’m sorry if we haven’t talked much especially as of recently bc of my semi-hiatus :( even if we don’t talk a lot, know that i’m always thinking fondly of you and you’ll always have a special place in my heart 💗 thank you so so so much for making my experience on this hellsite (affectionate ig) so wonderful and i hope we’ll become closer in the future!! i hope you’ll always be happy and healthy and ily lots!!! <3333

[vonholten]

welcome aboard, eden von holten, student #30. we are excited to set sail with you !  has anyone told you that you look like elle fanning? according to our records, you hail from linz, vienna, prefer preferred she/her, are cisfemale, and are here to study astrophysics. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of money — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + warm, + loyal, but also - approval-seeking. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the arcade. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a pair of earrings brought from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

ooc info

hello, my name is ana (she/her) from gmt+1 and i’m happy i found this roleplay because it looks amazing! okay so i’ll stop talking about myself and get onto eden’s bio. if you wanna plot feel free to send me a message or ask for my discord.

stats

NAME: eden viktoria von holten

NICKNAME: e

GENDER: cis female

PLACE OF BIRTH: november 9th, 

DATE OF BIRTH: july 6, 1998

AGE: twenty-two

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual

MAJOR: astrophysics

information

eden was born and spent the first ten years of her life in linz, austria. her father is an architect while her mother is a former housewife turned real estate agent.

the von holten last name was a distinguished surname back in the day as they were part of the austrian nobility. however, eden never really enjoyed the lavish life of being part of royalty as her part of her family is known as the descendants of ‘bastards’.

this meant that while her family could carry the von holten surname they didn’t have access to the family’s wealth, except for a trust fund to cover college expenses.

despite this, eden had a rather comfortable life as her father was a young promising architect that through his hard work managed to provide a good life to his family.

when eden was ten years old, her parents divorced and her father decided to leave austria to work in the england. 

her father eventually remarried and eden would spend her time between england and austria. 

many would think that eden had it easy, no event in her early life was enough to cause what would happen in the following years.

at sixteen, eden made the decision of finishing her schooling in new york, against her parents’ wishes, but being the supportive pair they were, they had no choice but let their daughter move to the big city.

tw eating disorder

something changed in those first weeks in new york, maybe it was being surrounded by the royalty of the city or the constant bombarding of slim models that prompted a switch in her.

at first it was not obvious, she reduced calories and signed up to the gym but as the months went by her obsession with calories and exercise only increased in an alarming way.

the teachers at school were the first to notice. and when they told her mother, she became very angry as she didn’t want to accept the fact that she had a serious illness and needed help.

the summer before starting at columbia, her parents took her to the doctor where she was given an ultimatum, either she gained weight during the summer or would be sent to an eating disorder clinic but that didn’t change anything and eventually was sent to the clinic, causing her to lose her first semester.

eden pushed herself to fight her anorexia, not wanting to be hospitalized and manage to be discharged before the start of the semester. despite her parents’ reluctance to let their child alone again, she started studying astrophysics at columbia.

for the next three years have been difficult for her, many times she has relapsed but on her own, she has managed to pull through but the increasing anxiety only gets worse, especially in finals time.

end of tw

at one point the stress got so high that her parents just made her drop out and go back to vienna. she did and spent a year working at her mother’s company before she made the decision to give university another chance.

she took the decision to attend seas because her step sister was here and this is her first semester

she’s doing a lot better now and she sees this as her chance to prove herself that she is healthy now.

headcanons

from a young age, eden has felt a fascination for stars and space. she never thought of studying anything related with that until she was interned in the clinic and spent most of her time reading books about the subject

speaks fluent german and she still has a slight austrian accent as she speaks in that language with her family

loves Pomeranians, and if you see her Instagram is filled with pomeranians blogs

she’s been to fourteen Elton John’s concerts, the last one a few days before her birthday. safe to say she is a fan

fan of any hgtv show

she has 'bought’ stars for herself since no one does it for her lmao

betelguese is her favorite star

actually believes in horoscope

favorite song: freaking tiny dancer ofc

has watched the theory of everything too many times

used to firmly believed she was anastasia as a child, now she is happy watching the movie or musical

connections

former best friend of cassidy silva

step-sister of student mack gallagher

childhood friend with minjun "micah" jin

wanted connections

best friend; if you are her best friend she’ll name a star on your behalf and also look what it could be: x or x

enemies: i mean she’s not one to create them but she cannot be liked by everyone and i need someone to get out her sassy side bc it’s probably rusty from being nice

roommates: self-explanatory 

first love; maybe it happened during her first year, you know i’m a hoe for angst so we can make it angsty af

friends with benefits; but really they would be very good friends that ended up sleeping together because she would need that sort of emotional connection to do it

awkward date; they went on a date that was so awkward that now they avoid each other

unrequited love; she could either have a crush on your character or viceversa, but lemme tell you that my girl can be shy so she probably just suffer and admire your character’s perfection from afar

tutor or study buddies; someone that helps her in some of her classes or the other way around

[latulasbian-1]

A Kankriversation Had On Discord

Long post beneath the cut bc its just. straight up like a half hour’s worth of back-and-fourth 

Friend: OH GOD OH GOD REV GOT TO MEENAHQUEST Friend: OH GOD HES MET KANKRI I GOTTA Friend: I GOTTA SEE Friend: "why the fuck is he written like this?" Friend: "i feel like this entire section is a jab at tumblr" Friend: rev does not seem to enjoy this Friend: "what i was expecting was just a raging asshole, like karkat 2 yaknow?" Friend: REV DOES NOT HATE KANKRI *confetti ball emojis*

Friend: people are taking away from kankri's character "kankri acts like a good person but is an asshole, and karkat acts like an asshole but is a good person" and they are wrong. Friend: I Friend: REV JUST COMPARED HIM TO ZEBRUH Friend: I AM Friend: -dies- Friend: HOW Friend: I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY BUT ALSO HOLY SHIT Friend: ok i cant watch longer i am dying Friend: it doesnt help that hes reading this section with a homestuch fan who seemingly hates kankri

Friend: i just need to give up and accept the fact that everyone hates kankri Friend: and i am the only smart person in the whole world :cry emoji (zan’s note: to indicated both light emotional melancholy but primarily as a tone indicator of semi-sarcasm): Friend: erugvwilarghvaleb Friend: no wonder i like zebruh (ZAN’S NOTE: MY BUDDY HERE LIKES ZEBRUH AS A FUNNY ASSHOLE DOUCHEBAG WHO SUCKS NOT LIKE. IN A WAY THAT CONDONES HIS BULLSHIT JUST FELT LIKE I SHOULD MENTION THAT. UNLIKE FOR INSTANCE LANQUE, WHO DOESN’T NECESSARILY FEEL LIKE HES MEANT TO BE THE WORST LIVING BEING IN EXISTANCE AND IS ALSO TRANSMASC WHILE BEING A FUCKING SEX FREAK. ZEBRUH’S MEANT TO BE HATED SO ITS AT LEAST FUCKING FUNNY.)

Friend 2 (hasn't actually read homestuck): I like Kankri

Friend: me :handshake: you & the 3 other people who read this channel smart as fuck and our meat is huge wrfralrv,juaBVRE DGS

Me (Zan): hhhhhhhhhhh Me: WHY DO PEOPLE CONSTANTLY INTERPRET KANKRI LIKE THIS Me: ITS. FUCKING. NONSENSE

Friend: I think people assume hes supposed to be like?? lying??? or using big words to try and make people like him more/?? Friend: but thats. never actually in the text? Friend: like yeah he constantly says "in this essay-i mean conversation" or "during this lecture-i mean discussion" but???? Friend: that does not a liar make??????????????

Me: its literally just. gahhhh Me: noone fucking r Me: theres no REASON to think hes lying

Me: except. that sjws are all just bigots who lie to make themselves look better (Zan’s note: this is sarcasm meant as a dig at people falling for the stonetoss-tier anti-social justice strawmanning that kankri gets. I do not think sjws are all just bigots who lie to make themselves look better.)

Friend: people just really dont wanna be confronted with the fact that if u think racism bad andrew hussie thinks youre a pussy ass bitch everyone hates

Me: YEAH Me: WHICH??? Me: THESE PEOPLE, LIKE EVERYONE, KNOWS THAT HUSSIE SUCKS AND HATES HIM

Friend: so they pretend kankri is actually some really genuinely good criticism guys i swear he-hes not just a mean caricture of a tumblr user who writes essays on why racism is bad i swear he-hes like, a criticism of men who co-opt actual arguments to get people to wanna fuck him ignore the part where kankri is celibate guys i swear hes a horny racist douche please believe me guys andrew hussie wouldnt hate me in real life hed love me i swear

Me: BUT THEY JUST FUCKING. REFUSE TO REALIZE THAT TINY PIECE OF LOGIC THAT “OH ALMOST EVERYRHING THAT KANKRI SAYS IS RIGHT AND HUSSIE IS A DOUCHECANOE”

Me: YEAH ITS SO FUCKING WIERD

Friend: i feel like another part of it is kankri criticcizing mituna

Me: WHICH

Friend: like "oh haha kankri is abelist u see thats PROOF thats PROOF hes a racist abelist douch just lying for attention you SEE" a

Me: IN UNIVERSE Me: IS BAD

Friend: and mituna is like

Me: BUT Me: ITS MADE FUVKING MOOT

Friend: mituna.

Me: BC MITUNA LITERALLY IS AN ABLEIST STEREOTYPE Me: HUSSIE LITERALLY WROTE AN ABLEIST STEREOTYPE AND EVERYONE TRIES TO SAY THE ONE CHARACTER WHO RECOGNIZES THAT TO BE THE REAL ABLEIST I

Friend: mituna "autistic/brain damaged/tourettes stereotype who's main joke is he falls down a lot and is mentally ill ahaha"

Me: *just an ocean of angry emojis*

Friend: is it because hes nice to cronus??? like?????? Friend: in that case everyone should HATE meenah Friend: for.... ALSO BEING NICE TO CRONUS??????????/ Friend: LIKE????????????

Me: oho but you see Me: meenah is un-pc murderous genocidal and a childfucker, so she only gets a little bit of the hate kankri “said ableism is ableist and never stops trying to get his friends to be better people despite everything” vantas gets

Friend: GRAAAAAA Friend: WHY ARE HOMESTUCK FANS SO FUCKING STUPID

Me: in this instance i have 0 fucking clue Me: like. its fucking OBVIOUS

Friend 3 (hasn’t read homestuck): It's the ableism

Me: except.... most of these people dont even like mituna........ Me: like as “rep”.... Me: these are people who’d call out ableism literally everywhere else.... its. gahh Me: i stg i’m going to become a video essayist just to try to EXPLAIN this shit

Friend: IM SORRY TO SAY THIS HOMESTUCK FANDOM, BUT MOST OF THE PEOPLE ON TUMBLR WHO WERE WRITTING ESSAYS ON WHY ABELISM AND RACISM IN MEDIA WAS BAD Friend: WERE RIGHT Friend: AND IF YOU DIDNT LIKE THEM FOR THEIR BIG WORDS Friend: YOU SUCKED Friend: zebruh is like a fucked up and evil version of kankri where instead of caring about politics and people's mental health he just acts like he cares about lower caste trolls to try and get laid, and in actually his is a racist mean and clingy rich bastard who cant stand being held accountable for his fake beliefs Friend: OH WAIT Friend: THATS JUST FUCKING CRONUS Friend: this is all your fault u bastard. i dont know how the fuck you got away with this shit i hate you so much  

Me: fdg;hljk Me: ben i'm wondering if i can transcribe our duotribe to tumblr

[lexicals]

Jesus christ okay. Spoilers below

Firstly. I cannot believe I was right about the shapeshifting robot.

Vespa I love you so much

THAT WHOLE. CONVO. POETRY?? JUNO IS NOW SPEAKING HIS MONOLOGUES OUT LOUD??? HELLO???

Buddy has graduated from therapist to couples counselor

That whole section was so fucking funny and I was absolutely delighted both by that and the fact that juno & nureyev are talking and learning to communicate but PLEASE can we get these two some air time I want to hear it.............

Once again. Vespa and buddy invented romance

Vespa realising it wasn't really juno bc she knows deep down that he wouldn't actually call her crazy is everything I wanted from this episode honestly. God I hope they get along better soon

SPEAKING OF HEY THAT ENDING HUH. THAT FUCKING ENDING?? THAT GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING ENDING I WAS SAT IN THE CAR SHOUTING "NO!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! NO!!!!!!!"

I'm die. Good fucking episode

Looking forward though, the amount that peter's real name was pressed on this episode plus...... I saw someone pointing out that the planet on the poster for man in glass is,, also a blue and red planet,,,

So Like What If They're Crash Landing On Brahma Though. I mean I'm not all in on that but that's so fun as a possibility. Probably not though but like what if

Second listen additions:

I thought so before but like, this is definitely dark matters, has to be. Kidnapping an entire crew of fugitives and crashing their ship into a planet in a way that looks like an accident to hide the evidence has them written all over it

I say kidnapped bc between the fact that the bot was only using a sedative instead of poison and it saying "we could have taken you all alive", that was definitely what they were aiming for

I find it interesting that it's specifically mentioned that the carte blanche is ( was? :( ) a converted cruise ship, I feel like that was said for a reason. My main thought at the moment being that cruise ships must have some form of lifeboats, but then surely all spacecraft must have those?

Gonna say right now I don't think vespa's dead, I don't think the writers are the type to bury their gays and especially not after she was already presumed dead once before and only just got back. It rly wouldn't be narratively satisfying here and I trust them not to pull something like that

Who's up next episode though is the question I think. Part of me is thinking buddy bc if vespa is presumed dead, that's gonna rock her pretty badly, but we also haven't heard from rita yet? I think juno is probably gonna be saved for last so my bet is on one of those two

Also I wonder if we're gonna get to hear juno's memo collection at some point....... I'm not convinced it'll happen but I would love to hear them. Would be a very fun retrospective but maybe not an interesting episode lol

Nureyev's real name is DEFINITELY gonna come up some time soon I think, jet saying that he or vespa have been around long enough to probably have heard of him (or maybe even mag?) made me think so even more. If it is dark matters that has them maybe they even know who he is and it'll come up that way, who knows (but oh man I would like to). It's one of the last things causing discord between the crew now that vespa seems to have decided juno is at least partway trustworthy so like!! Hmm!!!!

[cilliankelly]

text 📱 cillian & ellie.

Discord text thread featuring: cillian & @robinscnfm

When: december 25th

Mentions: @judetaylorhq @loganstjames @iitsace 

Description: ellie texts cillian to wish him merry xmas. they discuss their relationships and ellie encourages cillian to try and be better, but for himself, not for anyone else.

Trigger Warnings: insecurities galoooore but i think that’s it. 

ellie.

merry christmas dumbass 🤩 hope u had a good time and that your leg is better ❤️ you’re awesome buddy

Cillian

thanks els bells

i know i don’t always act like i do, but i really do appreciate you and shit. thanks for everything and merry christmas

also i’m sorry about your couch

ellie.

i know you do ❤️ no problem. I really did take you in just to do you a solid, buddy

no problem 😂

i might not even need to get one. Yknow, logan asked me to move in and if i do, probably the less furniture the better. U know i have enough shit as it is lmao

Cillian

👀

does this mean you’re seriously considering it?

moving in with the boyfriend?

ellie.

honestly? I kind of am

i have until mid january to think about it

and i like his apartment, plus our schedules don’t always line up because he has a day job and i have a morning job and a night job, which makes hanging out impossible sometimes

Cillian

these all seem like very sensible conclusions

ellie.

They are. I mean. Its kind of scary im ngl

Cillian

definitely scary. but good i think.

ellie.

im not used to living with anyone which definitely freaks me out

and u know i love my crappy ass apartment

but.... its also exciting idk

Cillian

no i totally get it.

i mean it’s a little different for me bc until recently i didn’t really feel like i ever had a home

but it’s nice. it’s big and it’s kind of scary but it’s also really great.

ellie.

ohhhh wait wait 👀

are u moving in w .. someone?

its such a nice apartment too im ngl

and he doesnt let me pay for anything which wasnt an issue when we were 18 but now it makes me feel ✨very guilty✨

Cillian

fuck tell me about it

and i mean... yeah. he gave me a key for christmas

ellie

omg im so happy for you!!!!

thats so so awesome

fuckin scary too but im excited for u

Cillian

thanks. i desperately trying to not fuck it up anymore than i already have. but i feel good about it.

ellie.

he wants to marry me

Cillian

holy shit

i know you guys dated in high school but you’ve been together how long?

ellie.

a fuckin MOOD but hes lucky to have u. Yall are a good match

Cillian

wow thanks. that’s actually like, good to hear.

i kind of feel like i magically won the best friend/boyfriend lottery or something

ellie.

this time around? About a month. Overall? Like almost three years

but no. What he said was that he still had the ring he’d bought back then

and that he wanted to give it to me whenever i was ready to be asked

it fuckin scares me how much he loves me idk what i did to deserve it

U SAID BOYFRIEND

Cillian

sounds like we really are in the same boat

wait what

ellie.

im so happy

yeah we are. Idk ive never been with anyone who loved me so... up front and decisively

Cillian

it’s fucking terrifying

ellie.

it is

Cillian

like i’m really happy???? but i look at him and my chest gets all tight and all i can think about is how much it’s gonna suck to lose him.

also i’m a bit buzzed on wine right now and this conversation is staying RIGHT HERE eleanor.

i have a rep to maintain

ellie.

THATS LOVEEEEE CILLIANNN

and idk im conflicted. He told me he wanted to pick it up where we left off and i told him i wanted to take it slow, and he agreed

and i do want to take it slow....... but oof falling back to the place where we used to be before It happened has been so easy its fuckin scary

Cillian

and oh my god shut uuuuuuuuuuup

i can’t even imagine.

ace is back in town and that’s been... weird

ellie.

IM NOT GONNAAAA U LOOOVE UR BF

my resolve to go slow with him is getting weaker and weaker i am such a mess

i know. I think i saw her the other day. Hows everything on that front?

Cillian

i don’t know. fine? a little awkward. i don���t have feelings for her still but like. i see her and it reminds me how shitty i was. and still am.

ellie.

and dont worry. Yes people leave but not the ones that really love you.... and i have a feeling u found it

Cillian

i think it’s really bumming him out that like... nobody knows we’re... together.

ellie.

yeah why is that?

Cillian

i don’t know...

telling people makes it like... real.

and jude thinks that by not telling people it makes it easier for me to take it all back and regress or whatever

but i just... ellie i’m like positive that i’m gonna fuck this up. and i don’t know if i want to share it. with anyone really.  not when it’s this good.

i don’t know if that makes any sense

ellie.

but its important to him

Cillian

he says it’s fine but i know it’s not.

ellie.

and listen

theres a strong possibility you WILL fuck it up and theres also a strong possibility that you will NOT fuck it up. No one knows.

and theres a possibility that he’ll fuck it up

or maybe something else will come in between you two and pull you apart

no one fucking knows ok dude

Cillian

jesus ellie, not making this any easier over here

ellie.

and you’re wasting the sweetest part of a relationship by thinking about the end

so like. The most u can do is stop thinking so far ahead, stop getting in your own way, and every day make the conscious decision to show him you love him and to not to fuck it up. Thats all any of us can do

Cillian

i don’t deserve him, i really don’t.

i’ve never felt so useless in my entire life.

ellie.

youre not useless

but i get you, i really do

Cillian

i can’t even fucking walk correctly. i can’t work. i can’t do anything

and i don’t know that i’ve ever like, really wanted to be better. but fuck. he deserves more than this.

ellie.

no no dont think like that

if you want to do anything about becoming more educated or some shit like that you have to do it for YOU because YOU deserve better

Cillian

it was hard enough the first time around. i’m just not cut out for it.

ellie.

i just think you havent found the right motivation

Cillian

and what’s that? the right motivation?

ellie.

idk how to describe it

like when i was in college i would think about graduating and being independent and it got me through boring classes and shit like that

so yeah. maybe what you need is motivation

Cillian

i know this is dumb. and it’s gonna get me an eye roll or something. but it’s just so much easier... to not.

ellie.

no its not dumb

but like. sometimes the things that are worth it arent the easy ones

Cillian

i just don’t want to fail again.

ellie.

bad news, youre gonna

Cillian

you’re all sunshine and rainbows this evening

ellie.

im tipsyyy

and also giving it to u straight

ur gonna fail bc failing is just. part of the human experience

but !! ur also gonna succeed my dude

Cillian

i guess you don’t know if you don’t try.

ellie.

also idk i think ur fear is valid and it happens to me too

so i just think itd be bullshit to tell u like <3 ur not gonna fail <3 everything will work out <3

Cillian

yeah. i wouldn’t believe you if you said that anyways.

ellie.

yeah exactly so like

the best thing i can say is that when you think that youre gonna fail just. try to think the opposite

Cillian

easier said than done

but i appreciate the advice

ellie.

yeah i know it is

no problem buddy <3 anytime

[thefallons]

Origins --> Scotia&Charlie

Discord Transcript Timeline Points:

- Charlie finds out Scotia has a son (Charlie is 33, Scotia is 34, Jensen is 2) - Charlie confides in Dex about how to proceed - Charlie breaks up with Scotia, believing he doesn’t fit into his life - Dex confronts Charlie about how miserable he’s been - Charlie tries to win Scotia back, but first, be honest with him about wizardry - Scotia and Charlie agree to spend the night together, but in Scotia’s home - Charlie meets Jensen for the first time

It's been 10 months since they started seeing each other, Charlie is a regular at Scotia's bar and then one day Scotia’s babysitter doesn't show up. Scotia brings a two-year-old Jensen to the bar with him because his boss truly does not give a fuck. As long as the place isn't on fire the owner hardly cares and the staff basically runs it. But Scotia puts Jensen high chair at the end of the bar and lets him color some pictures. And then Charlie walks in and Scotia's heart skips a beat, his ears go red.

SCOTIA:

Scotia says nothing until Charlie notices the child and brings it up and even then, he hesitantly says, "That's uh...my son. Jensen. He- his babysitter had something come up so...he's with me today." Looking at Charlie like ...this is a bombshell...I know...think about it while I get you wine to process better. Jensen is just at the end of the bar, scribbling with some crayons, a sippy cup nearby. He's a child who isn't even fully aware he's in a bar because dad's in a rough spot.

CHARLIE: Charlie would be so confused. He would drink a glass or two, way faster than normal, and keeps throwing glances from Scotia to the boy. He thinks to himself, "Of course he has a son, he could even have a wife or a husband, who knows! You don't know him, what you have with him is just for fun, right? It's not like they're in a serious relationship so yeah, it shouldn't matter if he has one or ten kids hiding behind the bar, right. Right? So this is just an affair, I hope he isn't cheating anyone, though because I do not want to get involved with drama.”

SCOTIA: Scotia definitely notices that Charlie downs his drinks way too fast and as soon as Scotia can get away from his customers for a minute he comes up by Charlie with a third glass of wine for him. But Scotia takes a big sip of the wine before setting it down in front of Charlie and asking him, "Are you freaking out a bit?"

Charlie: Charlie literally just gives him a wide-eyed look because it's better than saying "YA THINK??"

SCOTIA: He's trying to keep his own cool and smile a little bit on the inside, he's like this is it this was good while it lasted.

"I-" he licks his lips when he sees the look like ok that was a dumb question, "There didn't seem like an appropriate time to go hey, by the way, I gotta run, I only have the babysitter till midnight. Would it have made it any better if I told you earlier?"

CHARLIE: "Yeah... That would've. Been... huh. For once I have no words."

Charlie gets up and grabs his jacket, trying very hard to remain cool and looking at the kid and then Scotia. "Listen– I think I need some time to-" gestures towards his head and sighs. "We can talk about this some other day?" he offers while asking himself the same, was that a good idea?

“For what it’s worth, he seems like a nice kid." And then he leaves.

SCOTIA: Scotia's face gets a little red at how Charlie is shutting down. He's literally already so stressed out, is at work, and now his object of feelings is making THAT face. He runs a hand through his hair and goes, "This doesn't change anything between us. You don't /have/ to go."

Charlie blasts through Dex's door and pacing from one corner to the other, trying to think about what just happened. Charlie had previously downplayed how involved he was with Scotia, only mentioning that he'd met this guy at a Muggle bar and that was where he vanished to some days of the week. And how Scotia was able to keep Charlie's attention because they both know how impersonal Charlie can be with some of his hookups, but no, this guy was actually interesting.

CHARLIE: "He has a kid, Dex." and just that throwing his arms up

DEX: Dex is wide-eyed. It takes him time to put 2 and 2 together that Charlie is talking about his hook up cause he's not sure why Charlie is so worked up about it. "O...kay? What's he, trying to get you to pay child support? Oh. Oh is he fucking married, Charlie, are you back to your homewrecking ways?"

CHARLIE: Charlie just being like this and he has to laugh, of course even when he isn't trying to do anything stupid, he still does it. "Dunno, Dex. All I know is that I walked into the bar and his son was there because the babysitter left."

"I wonder if that didn't happen, would I even find out? Who knows. Guess it really was supposed to be just a fling."

DEX: Dex's brows are still raised bc he can't believe. "Uh...what did he have to say about it?"

And then sits up suddenly and is like, "Wait, was this not a fling? Is this- did we shift gears somewhere there, Charles, do you have something to tell me?"

CHARLIE: Charlie stares at his friend for a full minute because hello can you please join my meltdown? Screw you, Dex. "Maybe. But I don't think there's any future for that now, so forget it."

DEX: "Wait, wait, wait, wait- back up. Did you want to know sooner? Did you want him to like you enough to tell you sooner?" Dex looks surprised as hell because does his friend have feelings? Charlie never has feelings this is absurd and he's not going to let it go, Charlie can hit him if he wants to. "Charlie, I am clutching my chest, I cannot believe you."

CHARLIE: "Yeah well. I can't believe some of the information I've been given tonight either so."

DEX: "What the hell's the story? What's his deal, why didn't he tell you about the kid??"

CHARLIE: "I know it's hard for you but shut up Dex. It doesn't matter anymore, okay? So pour me a drink. I've been vulnerable enough for one evening. Time to get hammered"

DEX: Dex sighs and lets it go for now. He pours Charlie a stiff drink and then pours himself one and lets loose, fully intending to circle back to this once they're plastered.

Meanwhile, Scotia types out about 7 different versions of a text to Charlie over the course of several hours but deletes all of them. It's probably late at night and Charlie is probably super drunk when his phone goes off and it's a text that just says, "Can we talk?" And Dex certainly snoops over his shoulder.H e's not subtle about the snooping, he never is, he and Charlie have so few boundaries.

CHARLIE: Charlie and Dex lie on Dex's bed but Dex is facing one way and Charlie is another. They're both drunk and Charlie feels tired, he needs the rest but he's still kinda upset. Then he sees the text Scotia sends him and oh. He lets the phone drop on his chest and finally says, "I like him. I think I have for a while but. I don't know. We don't really know each other, we fuck at a hotel and sometimes we have breakfast together before he has to go."

"And it was easy and fun, I wasn't paying attention to how long has it since we started or even how he kinda became part of my routine but today... Going to the bar and he seemed scared when I asked him about the little boy. I don't think he wanted to tell me."

"I don't think he wants more than what we have right now. And I respect that, I actually wished I felt the same, but still. Realizing there's a possibility that he actually has a whole family out there and I'm the dirty little secret– That's not. I don't want to get involved in that..."

"I've had enough of romantic drama for the rest of my life. I should break this off before it gets more complicated."

DEX: Dex is quiet for a few beats even after Charlie finishes speaking. He blinks a few times because his heart literally hurts for his friend, he'd go to the ends of the earth for Charlie and this is him in rare form. "Do you think he's this sad too?" He whispers finally. "Like right now, in this moment?"

CHARLIE: Charlie shrugs and says "Can't say, I don't think I know him as well as I thought. Perhaps he's just embarrassed to be caught in that situation where his lover and his son are in the same room."

DEX: Dex finally shifts to he can turn to his side and lean on his elbow and actually look at Charlie. "You don't want to know for sure? You'd just be content accepting your place as the dirty little secret forever? What if he has some kind of crazy story to explain and you just never know about it? Would you really just be okay drifting into the night forever and never finding out?"

CHARLIE: Charlie mirrors the movement to look at his friend, "Crazy story? That's what you're trying to convince me? I don't think I'm betting on that and even if it turns out to be true, it's better if I leave him alone. Could you imagine me being a stepdad? Because I can't."

DEX: Dex definitely talks about it with Charlie for a little while longer and tries to convince him to at least get closure for the sake of his own sanity. Tells him to not ghost Scotia solely to put a cap on his own feelings and deal with the heartbreak in a slightly more productive way. He doesn't care how convincing he is, just says his piece, and pats his friend on the shoulder like sleep it off, buddy. We can debate more in the morning if you need to.

Charlie agrees to meet Scotia again, even if he thinks he's going there to end things. He'll text him back and try to meet Scotia the following day, he wouldn't want to drag anything. He still likes Scotia enough that he wouldn't want to leave him hanging.

SCOTIA: Scotia feels lighter but also burdened all at once when Charlie texts him back. He'll want to meet at the bar because it's common ground but not when he's working because he doesn't want their conversation to get interrupted. He likes Charlie and he wants to set this right, he doesn’t feel good when they’re not talking.

Scotia probably tells Charlie to come in towards the end of his workday so he can get off the clock and give him his undivided attention. His heart literally skips a beat when he sees Charlie and it shows in his face. But when he finally gets out from behind the bar and finds a table for them to sit at, it's with a glass of wine for Charlie as a gesture of peace. "I missed you last night," he'll tell him quietly but then shakes his head a little because he knows that was stupid. He knows Charlie doesn't want to hear that right now, he just couldn't help himself. He takes a deep breath before Charlie can respond and add, "I didn't tell you I had a kid because that's not sexy. It's not sexy being a single dad who has to carve 2 hours out of the day for himself to do one thing that he enjoys. It's messy, a lot of what I have going on outside of us is messy but things are real good when it's just us and I think you think so too so I...didn't want just us to get messy too. Okay? God's honest truth. I just didn't want you to feel like you had to shoulder my burdens...." He hesitates, looks like he might say something else but he doesn't. Just licks his lips and sips at his water cause he's nervous and rambled. He didn't have to explain himself but it all just tumbled out.

CHARLIE: Charlie feels so conflicted, he understands Scotia's reason but he still stands by the idea that it's better for them to break up now. Charlie thinks their relationship ending is inevitable, also because of the whole secret wizard world he's hiding from Scotia.

"I'm a mess too, I get it. Ask anyone that knows me. Ask my brother, he'll hand you a list of all my major fuck ups so far and it would all be true." He pulls his hands back to his lap, clasps them together to keep them out of Scotia's reach, "But I don't wanna screw this up as well... I'm not ready for this, I'm sorry. I'm- I'm really sorry, Scotia."

SCOTIA: Scotia’s face falls when he realizes he’s being broken up with. This is hard and the opposite of what he wanted, the precise reason he hid his child, to begin with. His face shows his heartbreak and he can’t even hide it. Scotia has feelings for this man who is literally rejecting his child; his son is such a big part of his life. How is he supposed to beg for someone who can't handle his life in the long term?

"You're not gonna screw this up unless you do exactly the thing you're trying to do to not screw this up," Scotia tells him hoarsely. He literally cannot contain the crumbling in his eyes, "Right now, my son doesn't have a bearing on what we have. If you want it to stay that way it...it can stay that way." He says the words but they hurt because he wants more. If he didn't know it before, he knows it now that he wants more with Charlie.

CHARLIE: Charlie getting up too fast, knocking his chair behind him and moving to the other side of the table to reach Scotia. He's kissing the side of his face, his forehead, his neck and whispering he's sorry and that he hates to see Scotia crying. "I wish I was better for you."

SCOTIA: Scotia is so startled by the movement but when Charlie comes close to him he moves a hand to touch the younger man- to grip on to whatever part of him he can. It crushes him to hear the words but Charlie seems so sure and Scotia is a man of pride. He feels as though he's already begged and he's not going to grovel to someone who is determined not to be with him. He just bows his head to his chest and takes a shaky breath and takes in the closeness for as long as he can have it before Charlie leaves him.

Charlie tells Dex he went there to the bar to talk to Scotia and they're over now and it fucking sucks but Charlie believes it's better this way. So he'll just have to deal with it, it was his choice.

Dex waits for Charlie to show any signs of improvement but Dex doesn't enjoy it when Charlie acts fake with him. He calls Charlie out on his bullshit a few weeks later. He's like okay drop the act because you know this Charlie isn't for me. It's for the rest of the world. Try again.

CHARLIE: "I'm angry. I'm so angry, Dex, I don't know how to suppress this, I want- I hate feeling this, I hate how much I still think about him, I hate how attached I've gotten without noticing. I fucking hate it."

DEX: "Angry at what?" Dex looks so concerned because honestly, he wouldn't have called his friend out if he couldn't tell that he was about to blow. "Dude, you didn't even give yourself a chance," he continues the casual calling out. "If you're frustrated it's cause you quit without trying. And normally, in day to day...you're not a fuckin quitter, Charlie. You're a damn Ravenclaw, you see things through." Dex had observed how fast Charlie went from finding out something he didn't like to cutting and running and already was like uh oh, this is gonna hurt and be bad

Narrator's voice: Dexter was correct.

CHARLIE: "I fucking know, Dex, and that's why it feels so... Stupid! I am so convinced I'm not the type of person he needs I already bailed out! He doesn't need me not knowing what the fuck I want and risk getting his kid involved with someone like me." Charlie wants to punch something and given their history there's a chance he'll punch Dex just because he's the only one there. It's not the first time it happened and he knows Dex will forgive him or maybe punch him back if necessary, "He's... Just a guy I met at a bar." he tells himself, "He doesn't even know that my means of transport from here to his bar is my mind and my wand. He thinks I'm a Muggle... We don't know each other, so why is this so hard?"

DEX: "Someone like you? What the fuck does that even mean Charlie? Have you murdered someone lately? Punched a kid? Tossed someone off a building? You tried to break up with him because you thought he was married, you didn't even want to homewreck his imaginary relationships! What does someone like me even mean? You gonna talk down to Scotia's kid like your dad did to you? You gonna tell that kid he can do better no matter how hard he tries? You gonna shut him out, kick him around, break his ability to talk about literally anything?" Dex is nearly huffing at this point, he's so mad because Charlie is mad. They're just feeding off each other's energy. "Because unless that's your plan, I don't think your someone like me is valid. You're you, Charlie. You're not half fuckin bad, actually." He certainly looks and sounds angry despite his complimentary words.

CHARLIE: Charlie still looks crazy but he stays silent before saying, "You're so embarrassing, Dexter, did you just hear what you said?" Because he has to deflect, he doesn't want to admit what Dex said is true. There is a lot of self-loathing within Charlie but he wouldn't admit it or carry it as a flaw.

"Do you think- Should I call him? Will he even pick up?"

DEX: "You could sit here and wonder for another three weeks. Or you can just follow your gut and do it and see where you land. How much sadder can you possibly get at this point, right?"

Dex is still pretty hopped up on adrenaline from their level of emotions. He’s struggling to even be supportive without being aggressive.

CHARLIE: Charlie sits down and just breathes for a few minutes. He knows what he has to do, as painfully awkward as it will be. On his way out he hugs Dex from the back and tells him "What would I be without you, Dexter D'Angelo! Wish me good luck."

DEX: Dex definitely enjoys the love and tells Charlie he'd be a sad loser but not to worry because he'll never leave him so they'll never see that fate.

Charlie lands on the spot he always used to and feels like he fucked up the apparition because he feels so nauseous out of the blue. He knows it's still working hours at the bar, so he stays there thinking of what he wants to say until there are only 5 minutes until closing time. Only then does he walk in, slowly making his way to the bar and waiting for Scotia to notice him.

SCOTIA: Scotia damn near drops the three drinks in his hands when he sees Charlie's face. His mouth goes dry and he delivers the drinks. He almost tells the bartender he's working with to cover him the last few minutes but he takes a deep breath and tells himself to maintain his cool. He has the other person he's with bring Charlie a wine though while he waits. Just the dumb, cheap kind that Charlie likes.

CHARLIE: Charlie thanks the other bartender and tips but he doesn't drink any of it this time, just let it rest in front of him while he waits for Scotia

SCOTIA: Scotia's coworker is so up in his business too, like isn’t that the guy who used to just hang out during your shift all the time? Where has he been? Look at him, is he okay? And Scotia is like shut up and let me finish chasing these drunks out so I can take care of some business.

Scotia's al nerves though, he literally cannot imagine what Charlie wants with him all these weeks later. But he cleans up a little bit and then walks over to Charlie's table, face neutral but heart thundering in his chest. He literally cried in front of Charlie last time and that's so out of the ordinary for him, he's pushing himself so hard not to seem weak, not to seem like he can be taken advantage of. "Hi," he just says, sitting down across from him. He notices the untouched wine and gestures to it, "Not your brand anymore?"

CHARLIE: Charlie watches Scotia approaching him and part of him feels excited to be there, but his pessimist side reminds him there's a good chance they won't get back together.

"I wanted to make sure you knew that I was completely sober," he answers knowing Scotia didn't expect a real answer for that, but it was true, he needed Scotia to believe what he was about to say.

He pulls his wand from the inner pocket in his jacket and places on the table in front of them, taking a deep breath he speaks, "I haven't been honest with you either, Scotia. This," he nods at the piece of wood in front of them, "Is my wand. My wand that I use.... For magic." he's probably trying very hard not to come out as funny although it sounds ridiculous.

"I'm a wizard, Scotia. A real one."

SCOTIA: Scotia shrugs when Charlie turns down the drink and pulls it towards himself to take a big sip. He raises a brow at the item that's placed between them, dismissing it as a tree branch at best. "Excuse me?" He damn near chokes on the wine. "Charlie, honestly, of all the excuses to come back here after getting spooked from meeting my kid- no, you didn't really even meet him, actually. You glanced at him. From a distance. And then ran. And you never really came back. So for this to be your reasoning behind it. It- it's not amusing." He grows increasingly red in the face, leaning back in his chair to run both hands through his hair. He lets out a deep breath, eyes darting back and forth as he looks at the ceiling for a moment because he can't believe he let himself think or have hope that Charlie had really come back for him. Don't fucking cry again he tells himself. Do not

CHARLIE: Charlie isn't sure if Scotia is mad at him for not coming right out of the gate telling he wants to get back together or if he truly thinks Charlie is making a very convoluted excuse to explain why they broke up. He squints his eyes, trying to figure out if he ever made a joke so absurd that it would be possible for Scotia to believe he is lying about that.

"It's not- That's not why I walked away that day. But you heard me right? I'm a wizard, I'm really not fucking around. I'm actually a professor at a school of witchcraft," it does sound like crazy talk, "Scotia, listen, please." Charlie wants to calm him down so bad so he can just see he's telling the truth. "You're right, okay? About me getting spooked seeing your kid, I was terrified and I still am! I still... Believe it's not a good idea for you to add me to your personal life, because I am good at screwing things up and I know you'd never forgive me if I hurt your son."

"That's why it's so scary, that's why it feels like this is beyond what I can take. But I've spent the last weeks trying to move on but turns out I can't get over it. I can't get over you and I... I don't know when it happened, but I like you. I like you a lot. So. I wanted to tell you the truth of my identity as well and see if. If even with that added to the list of weird shit we'd have to deal with if you still... Wanted to be with me."

SCOTIA: "My kid, whose name you don't even know, Charlie, you didn't even bother. You-you just left. I get it, you were scared but..." Scotia narrows his eyes, "You could have at least tried to ask? You saw him and I was suddenly not good enough for you anymore and that-" He takes a deep breath, realizing he's getting louder and riled up. "Charlie, in my pants is in my fuckin person life. Too late, you were already there. You could've stayed on the other side of the bar from me forever and saved yourself the trouble of all this that way. But you already crossed that line, you were already in my personal life." Scotia clears his throat, unable to even focus on the crazy wizardry part anymore past his intense emotions related to their relationship- or lack thereof. "You cannot just walk in here and tell me that you want to be with me but that you won't be good for me if we're together. You cannot be unwilling to change to be better and stronger if you don't think you are those things now. If you don't feel like I'm worth at least trying to be good for then you have no place here tonight, Charlie."

CHARLIE: "I'm sorry for not asking your kid's name right then and there if it wasn't clear I was panicking beyond reasoning, Scotia. You say now that I was already in your personal life, but that's not how it felt. Up until a few weeks ago, I thought you still saw me as a good fuck and costumer. And I thought the same, as cruel as it sounds but it's true. For all I know, if it wasn't for your babysitter failing that day, you wouldn't have told me about your son at all. And it hit me that... I didn't know you. You could've been married with kids and having an affair with me just because.

I wouldn't even have the right to be upset, because we never talked about us. I didn't think there was an us to even talk about... So it took me all of that shit happening to see how much I wanted you, yes, is that fucked up? Maybe but that's how I realized.

And if me changing or becoming someone better suited for your life is what you need from me, then you're right, I don't think I'll have to be better, so why waste both of our times.

I guess I really have no place being here tonight."

SCOTIA: Scotia's shoulders deflate with the way Charlie comes at him. The longer the man goes on the more his desperation becomes clear and suddenly, when Charlie finishes rambling his thoughts, Scotia simply blurts out, "Thank you...for telling me all that." He licks his lips and takes a deep breath, not a panicked, and frustrated one this time. His voice is quieter when he speaks, trying to make Charlie actually listen to him instead of just hearing his words, "I didn't tell you about my son because I thought you thought this was just a good fuck, Charlie. You're right, we didn't talk about this but we should've. I don't just have breakfast in the morning with everybody- actually nobody, I haven't had breakfast the morning after with anybody since my kid was born and you can hear that whole story, plain and true if you want to. But I'm willing to bet you don't just come and sit in bars waiting for people's shifts to be over so you can get a good lay either. So...we should've talked about it."

Scotia shakes his head, his fingers fiddling with the wine glass in front of him but he doesn't take a drink, he can't bring himself to stomach a thing. "I don't want you to change to be suited for my life. I don't know who's asked you to do that in the past but it's not me. I want the exact opposite, I want you to realize you don't have to change to be with me. You keep telling me you're no good and you're gonna be bad for me but I haven't seen any of that in the last year." His last words are nearly a whisper because he can't fathom how else to make Charlie understand, "The only time you hurt me is when you tell me you're going to."

CHARLIE: Charlie hates every second of the honesty they threw at each other's face. It was necessary but it hurt and chances are it will hurt for a while before it gets better.

But he wants the other man so bad. Was it always like this? He knows he's always been attracted to Scotia from the start, but this ache of being apart... When did it become so real? Charlie didn't allow himself to get involved with anyone like this since he was young, engaged and so naive.

He also knew that like Dexter, Scotia didn't seem to be able to see all the ways Charlie was flawed beyond repair. Maybe they had a point, Charlie wanted to believe, maybe he isn't the bad guy he thinks he is.

Or maybe that's exactly who he is and that's why despite it being selfish, knowing only their determination to be together won't be enough, he wants to be with Scotia. He wants him, even if he believes it will end terribly.

"Stay with me tonight, please. We don't have to fuck or anything, I just. Don't wanna be away from you anymore."

SCOTIA: "Okay, yeah," Scotia nods instantly, "Just- let me make a few calls, I'm sure I can get a hold of someone-" He hesitates and then, "Unless...you want to come home with me?" Scotia clears his throat, "He'll be asleep by now. You don't have to talk to him, be with him unless you want to. It can still be just us."

He licks his lips and then adds as an afterthought, in the interest of them talking about things now, "This isn't a test, you can say no if you want to."

CHARLIE: Charlie doesn't hesitate, just nods and reaches out to grab Scotia's hands. "Let's go."

SCOTIA: As they walk out of the bar, Scotia tells Charlie to prove he’s a wizard, circling back to the untouched matter at hand that he certainly had not forgotten, simply prioritized under the well being of their relationship.

CHARLIE: Charlie doesn't say it out loud but he's definitely thinking "How the fuck am I supposed to apparate us safely when I feel like I can't even stand right now?"

"I... I've never been there, so I can't take us there but. Is there like ah famous monument or street near your home?"

SCOTIA: Scotia is so blown away thinking to himself, there's no way this is a thing so why not play along right? He tells Charlie the name of the main road that's a five-minute walk from his house looks at Charlie like he’s nuts.

CHARLIE: Charlie thinks hard if he's ever been there and knows the place well enough, before pulling Scotia close and saying, "Hold on and don't let go. Really. Don't let go."

SCOTIA: Scotia puts his arms around Charlie tightly and hides his face into the crook of Charlie's neck, thinking, I'm taking a leap of faith with you, you crazy son of a bitch. And a snap, crackle, and pop later, he’s doubled over on the sidewalk, throwing up all he’s got onto the street. Now he’s hoping Charlie still thinks he’s cute after this new milestone.

CHARLIE: "The first time is always rough, isn't it?" Charlie laughs when Scotia's face goes green, "You said you wanted me to prove it." He shrugs

SCOTIA: Hearing Charlie’s laughter and teasing, Scotia shoves Charlie’s side despite being kneeled over. “Don’t make fun of me, you’re the one who did this! My God...you did this…”

CHARLIE: "You look like you're about to pass out, we need to get you to your house. Which direction, honey?"

SCOTIA: Scotia does not answer him, wipes his mouth, stands up, and just goes, "What the fuck was that? Is that how you-" He steps back. "Charlie, what?"

But then has to step towards Charlie again anyway to put a hand on his shoulder because he needs to steady himself.

CHARLIE: Charlie holds back his laugh, he doesn't wanna get shoved again. "So pet names are your weakness, huh. I'd so kiss you right now if your mouth didn't smell so bad, ugh, let's go, Scosh."

SCOTIA: It's hard not to believe Charlie after that so Scotia asks a hundred questions on the five-minute walk back to his place. 

"What the hell else can you do?" "What...happened to you?? Or are there more people like this" "I'm not gonna wake up and this is going to be an elaborate prank, is it?" "Charlie, did you fucking do that every time you wanted to see me?? That's absurd."

CHARLIE: "Yep, I literally bent myself in time and space just to see your cute face."

SCOTIA: Scotia stops to grin when Charlie says that. It brings him back to earth a little bit after the wild experience of apparating but as he finally finds his legs to walk again, to lead Charlie towards his home, he slips a hand into the younger man's. They rarely hold hands outside of the bedroom, let alone in the streets so it's new but Scotia doesn't want to make Charlie nervous by drawing attention to it. "Charlie, whatever you do- magic- whatever...it's never dangerous...right?" He asks hesitantly, still feeling crazy just saying it out loud.

CHARLIE: Charlie takes a quick glance at their hands together and the image of the last time their hands were like that flashed for a moment.

Scotia on top of him with his hand tight around Charlie's, pressing him into the mattress, kissing his collarbones, making him feel amazing–

Scotia's sad expression telling him "I missed you last night–

Charlie, you didn't even bother, you just left–

If you don't feel like I'm worth at least trying to be good for then you have no place here tonight–

"Right?" he heard and came back to reality. What did Scotia ask him just now? Danger in magic, okay.

"Hm, I think it's much like your type of society. We are capable of being dangerous, but we have rules, penalties, and conscience to know we shouldn't act or have those types of desires."

Charlie holds Scotia's hand tighter in his hand, wanting to reassure him it wasn't something he should worry about. "I've got an easy life, very privileged, even by wizards' standards. So I'm safe. I'm very safe here right now actually, with you holding my hand." he says, giving Scotia a wink and a smile.

SCOTIA: It's hard for Scotia not to be soothed by Charlie's smile and his easy words, the charming demeanor he presents despite himself. "Don't be upset if I ask you all of this again in the morning," He takes a deep breath, "You'll have to forgive me for wondering if I dreamt up most of it..." He gives a dry chuckle hearing about this side of Charlie's life he never knew about. "Charlie, the fact that you're here, right now...when you can do that and whatever else you can do..." He takes a breath, "It's kind of unbelievable. What I mean is that it means a lot to me. You are safe with me. You've always been."

When they get back to his place Charlie will get to watch Scotia let his babysitter go, give her a chunk of the tips he got from the night out of his pocket because she had to watch his kid for so long. But he'll show Charlie to the bedroom and tell him to make himself comfortable while he checks on Jensen real quick. Charlie will get to look around the small room that's so different from how he lives. It's an intimate look into Scotia's life but when Scotia does come back Charlie gets cuddled so hard. He'll hold him like he used to weeks ago when they were still doing this regularly. Kiss the back of his neck and try to relax him because Scotia knows even if Charlie isn't showing it, he has to be wound up about this to some extent.

CHARLIE: Charlie definitely reciprocates, even with all the things hovering in his head, reacting to Scotia's body still wins over everything He'll kiss Scotia until their lips hurt, fit his legs between Scotia's and smell his skin and let himself do what he's wanted for weeks.

SCOTIA: He loses himself in that touch, he revels in it. He missed him so much and between their kisses, Charlie will hear it. Breathlessly candid. But Scotia can lose himself in the moment and in the way they literally hold each other all he wants. He can escape their reality for a few hours and a blissful night's sleep. But the fact of the matter is he'll have to untangle himself from Charlie early in the morning because his toddler wakes up early. He'll have to tend to obligations of his life that he wants Charlie to be a part of so bad but without overwhelming him.

CHARLIE: But for once, Charlie wakes up first because he kept waking up in the night.  And one of those times, he gets thirsty and goes to the kitchen to grab some water. He basically wakes everyone up in the neighborhood almost screaming when he feels something touch his leg… And it's just Jensen

"Oh... Hi?"

Charlie's first interaction with the kid is almost him swearing and yelling. He stands there and the kid is looking at him with a tilted head clearly confused. Charlie is so awkward and scared. He'll do a childish wave with his hand and say, "I'm Charlie. You're Jensen, right?"

They end up hanging out on the couch between the kitchen and the rooms. Jensen clearly still sleepy but he was the one that climbed that first, Charlie just followed him. Charlie grabs the remote control and almost turns the TV on but Jensen's eyes went a bit wide when he touched that so Charlie felt like maybe he should not do that.

Charlie grabs one of the books on the coffee table and it's Jensen's and has thick pages filled with animals and simple scenarios. So he brings it and starts flipping through it. Not that he's interested but he has no idea what else he can do, he can't just go back to Scotia's room and leave the kid there right?

Jensen gets closer to look at it together and sometimes points and says a word, usually the names of the animals. They make their way through that book and two others before Charlie sees that Jensen isn't pointing or babbling anything more because he's basically asleep.

And now he panics again because what does one do now? He calls Jensen’s name a few times and pokes his cheek, making the boy frown, "Don't you want to sleep on your bed?"

And instead of getting up and walking back to his room, the boy raises his arms expecting Charlie to take him. He awkwardly takes Jensen back to his room and breathes relieved. F

Charlie goes to drink another cup of water and goes back to bed, close to Scotia.

SCOTIA: When Charlie comes back to bed Scotia is a sleepy bear who puts his arms around him and just tugs him close, just assuming he went to the bathroom or something. When they do get up for good Charlie will get to watch this little boy climb into his dad's arms like they are each other's worlds and that's so obvious in the way Jensen says dad and the way Scotia literally looks at his son while brushing back his hair. The way he talks to him and holds him.

Scotia literally chokes when he's talking to Jensen, trying to make introductions, "This is my b-" before aggressively clearing his throat.  "This is daddy's really good friend, okay?" Mostly because he doesn’t want to alarm Charlie, but. But the moment Jensen lays eyes on him, he shouts “Charlie!!" And Scotia is thrown off by his son knowing the name already.

CHARLIE: Charlie makes fun of Scotia for that one, "You can call me your boyfriend, you know. I think it's better than being daddy's good friend. I'd never want to be just friends with you." He leans to give Scotia a quick kiss.

When Jensen calls his name all excited, Charlie just nods like "Yep. That is... My name." He’s still getting used to this interaction with a child thing.

SCOTIA: Scotia gets all red in the face for being called out about that. Licks his lips after the little kiss he's given and tells his little son this is his boyfriend. And Jensen doesn't care because he's tiny but it means a lot to Scotia, his heart is racing.

Honestly, Scotia is just glad that Charlie didn't freak having to interact with Jensen in the morning. He doesn't question it too much. He'll put Jensen down at one point and Jensen brings that book from the coffee table to Charlie and Scotia chuckles and tells his son, "Maybe Charlie can read to you a different time, buddy. We've gotta have breakfast so Charlie doesn't run late for the day okay?" And Jensen just looks between the two of them like ...but

Scotia tries to talk a little more over breakfast but he treads lightly because he doesn't want to overwhelm Charlie first thing in the morning.

CHARLIE: Charlie pulls him by his waist and tells him quietly, "We're okay, right? I thought I could go to the bar tonight."

SCOTIA: Scotia easily moves to Charlie and holds him. He doesn't answer the question directly, rather touches his forehead to Charlie's and tells him, "I love that you're here right now. Right here, in my shitty apartment, with my decent kid. I love that. I..." He swallows as a lump of emotions seizes his throat for a moment. "I really wanted that for a while. I just didn't know how to ask for it. It'll be so much easier for you to see me now that you've been here- now that you're okay being here. I'd love to see you at the bar tonight."

CHARLIE: Charlie wants to ask why didn't he say something sooner but knows that it will lead to a whole different discussion that doesn't matter anymore. Scotia seems happy and that's what's important to Charlie. He gives Scotia a not so innocent kiss and takes a few steps back, "See you later, honey.”

He winks and apparates right there out of Scotia's house.

-FIN

[allofthisnonsenseplease]

another story idea firesonic152 and i hashed out via discord, wherein Jack has some anger issues and Gabe gets a kick out of it.

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 bro we should do a wrong number meetcute i can't think of what the hilarious out of context first text should be though

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 hmmm... one of them ranting about annoying customers or a drnk text? something really odd?

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 or a super intense threat XDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 omg XD

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 jack being like "i swear to fucking christ you better sleep with one eye open for the rest of your short life because i am not going to rest until you're dead"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 jack sending this crazy angry text with an insanely over the top and specific bloody threat and gabe sending back 'not the guy your looking for, but i'm totally using that for my band's next song, thx'

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 XDDDDD "unless i am the guy you're looking for in which case i must ask why"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 lol

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 WHO WAS JACK THREATENING THOUGH

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 gabe waiting a while before Jack texts back again, and when it comes thru it's just 'is this the jackass from upstairs who keeps coming back drunk at 3 am and climbed the fucking fire escape last night and crashed through my window thinking my apartment was his buddy's next floor up and left a half eaten pan of brownies and a bunch of unwashed dishes as an apology because that was NOT a fun situation to come home to after pulling a double'

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 AHAHAHA gabe is like "wow i sound like a real asshole"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 'if you're not him then send me a pic so i can go kick his roomamate's ass into next week for giving me the wrong fucking number'

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 LOLL gabe is like "well considering you sound like a crazy axe murderer, i'm not sure i want you to have my face" "send me yours first ;)"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 GABE DON'T FLIRT WITHT HE CRAZY AXE MURDERER

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 jack replies "I JUST POURED OUT MY LIFE STORY TO YOU ASSHOLE" Lol

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 jack is like, super reluctant to do it and it turns out that he already has those gnarly scars

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 ahhhhhh he prefaces the picture with "i promise it's not as bad as it looks" gabe is ?? and then jack sends a picture finally (after taking ages to find a marginally okay selfie) and gabe is !!! "bro you didn't tell me you were hot"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 the little typing dots show up and stop a few times before Jack's next message comes through: 'i swear to GOD you had better not be that littl punk'

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 AHAHA gabe sends a picture back and jack is just JESUS CHRIST "so what's the verdict, axe murderer. can i keep my head" "man i'd gladly GIVE you head" "i mean. uh" "shit"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 jack JACK you fucking T Y P E D that to him

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 AHAHA

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 Gabe: moving a bit fast there, sunshine. you wanna buy a guy dinner first? Jack doesn't know how to react to being called Sunshine

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 LOL

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 he sets teh phone down very carefully, as if it might bite. he tries to go about cleaning up his kitchen, but he keeps glancing at it. the guy who isn't the little punk HAD to have been fucking with him. right? RIGHT?? twenty minutes later, Jack decides on a response: 'are you fucking with me?'

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 LOL JACK YOU ARE OPENING YOURSELF UP TO SO MANY REPLIES

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 XD i couldn't pick one to send spoiled for choice, there

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 gabe is like "do you want me to be fucking you" "*with you" jack is like "FUCK YOU YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 gabe just sends back a winky face gabe stop flirting with an axe murderer

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 Jack too frustrated to continue, thinking he'll drop it now, clean up a bit, and try again later when maybe he can manage to flirt his way into meeting this guy at a bar or something. 'gotta go clean my kitchen' he nearly chokes when the reply text comes back: 'what are you wearing?'

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 OMG jack replies "asshole i already sent you a pic" "also i don't even know your name" "gabe" "after all that fuss about the picture you're just giving me your name??" "i mean yeah you already know what i look like. might as well"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 Jack lists him as 'asshole' in his contacts like, all of Jack's contacts are named by insults--his manager is dickhead, the apartment complex office is cocksuckers, even his friends are things like nutjob and psycho and UNHOLY TERROR. the only normal one is Mom.

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 LMAO jack finally grumblingly is like "i'm wearing sweatpants jesus" "JUST sweatpants?" "you're pushing it" omg yay this is becoming one where jack's anger outweighs his thirst i'm excited

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 XD Jack is like 'i literally JUST told you i just got home from working a double. i'm in last week's undone laundry and too many hours' worth of sweat and grime.' he has a moment of doubt after sending it, thinking that he might have just blown his chance of getting laid, but he's too tired and pissed off to really care. he can barely believe the next text that comes through. 'dirty boy, huh? i don't mind filthy.'

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 HAHAHA GABE IS TRYING SO HARD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 scars look good. X'D

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 jack is like "if i send you another pic will you leave me alone for the night" gabe eventually gets a nice tiddy pic out of jack lol and by that i mean the tits are nice but the camera work is lazy and annoyed

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 or, Jack sends what would have been a dick pick if he hadn't purposefully censored the important bits with a single finger salute

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 LOLL gabriel's so hyped about this new daydream material

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 gabe sends him a selfie doing the nice gesture :ok_hand:  but held up to his mouth with an expression to make it obscenely suggestive

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 lmsncsdckjnc and he's casually shirtless, though the picture doesn't focus on it jack finds himself staring at it more than necessary

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 jack laughs shortly, a bit charmed in spite of himself

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 jack puts the phone down, kinda determined not to talk to gabe anymore. but the very next day something annoying happens at work and he immediately yells at gabe about it. gabe keeps up with all the flirty innuendos but he's actually nice to talk to jack can rant his heart out and gabe doesn't try to tell him what to do or anything, just makes jokes and shit out of it that actually make jack feel better

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 Jack in a pissy mood one day and after he's done ranting about whatever petty shit happened to him, he lays into Gabe like 'why the fuck is it always me bitching about everything don't you have some complaints? you don't say shit about yourself asshole.' he has to wait just a bit for an answer, which is unusual, and he's startled when it arrives. 'i want to meet you.'

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 hhhhhhhhh jack is like oh god oh no "however angry you think i am over text, i can guarantee i am a million times more angry in person" gabe's like "that's hot" jack's like "NO"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 i am vengeance!

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 gabe's like "come onnnn didn't you promise to murder me" "how you gonna do that if you don't meet me" "trust me asshole i can think of plenty of ways"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 Gabe being all 'at least give me something else to work with aside from that one cockup of a dick pic you sent. my imagination's running out of fuel.'

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 does gabe finally just like show up at jack's job LOL FIRST MORE AWKWARD SEXTING

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 what if they just start sexting first XD yeah but like. actual sexting, rather than just teasing pics.

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 NOW JACK SENDS THE TIT PIC he's like at work and just kinda pulls the collar of his shirt away and snaps a pic real quick gabe is like holy shit i'm actually thankful for your shitty camerawork bc now i know for sure those are real

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 XD gabe getting jack so worked up at work that jack has to go duck into the men's room or a supply closet or something

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 LOL the image of jack pissed off as hell that he's turned on and angrily jerking off between yelling at gabe via text in a freaking closet or whatever

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 jack holding the phone in one hand, his dick in the other, furiously pumping and even more furiously cursing gabe's name and while he's at it accidentally calling gabe in the middle of his tirade

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 AHHH gabe picks up and just hears a series of increasingly loud and creative curses

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 towards the end of it, Gabe finally breaks radio silence with something like 'you've got a sexy voice' and Jack, immediately comes, and after a startled moment that ruins the relief, he absolutely tears into Gabe for having been eavesdropping

Gabe just laughs, and the sound is so warm and rich that it cuts straight through Jack's anger, making him shiver, and if he hadn't just jerked off, he knows he'd be halfway ready to just after that

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 AHHH jack you angry thirsty bitch he growls "fuck you asshole you'd better make this worth my while" gabriel hums and says "well i was thinking about you and-" jack cuts him off "LATER OH MY GOD YOU FUCK I'M AT WORK"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/26/2017 Gabe laughs again, that wonderful, damnable sound. 'working hard, Sunshine?' The noise Jack makes is priceless and Gabriel is doubled over with laughter as Jack hangs up on him

firesonic152 - 10/26/2017 eeeeeee jack kicks the wall hard enough to dent and hates that he's thinking about it still gabe texts jack later that night like "so you in bed?" jack's like "no dick i'm in my kitchen microwaving shitty leftovers"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 gabe why are you putting up with this abuse? XD

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 because jack is hilarious to fuck with AND has amazing tits

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 the tits again. damn them. they're too powerful.

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 yep jack is like "what the fuck would you have done if i wasn't gay" gabe's like "well probably keep teasing you until you saw the light" "you're a cocky motherfucker aren't you" "i got all the cock in the world for you sweetheart <33"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 omg XD <3<3<3 A+ 'i fucking hate you, you know that right?' 'you big softie.' 'i mean it cockbite you're a fucking annoyance. now are you gonna show me your dick or not?'

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 LOL JACKIE gabe sends a picture and jack is like "jesus christ. that's not a dick that's a weapon. you were the murderer all along." gabe is like "OMG jack did you just make a JOKE" jack, furiously lubing his fingers: fuck off you dickfaced piece of fuck

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 XD under the incredibly thin pretense that it's easier to talk than text while they do this (as if they haven't managed before) Jack calls Gabe and demands they use speakerphone

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 heheheheee gabe is obscenely good at dirty talking, jack just kinda groans curses and tells gabe to shut the fuck up he's got four fingers in his ass and gabriel telling him how good he is, how sexy he sounds, so on and so on- and jack finally moans gabe's name he's never once said it before

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 when Gabe teasingly asks if he ought to keep quiet, Jack, flustered responds with 'no, DON'T shut the fuck up--just--shut the fuck up..! goddamnit Gabe you shit fucking asshole!'

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 eeeeeeeee gabriel was so smooth this whole time but his voice finally cracks a little and he starts coming undone and jack is like HOLY SHIT

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 jack realizing that he's going to have to break down and meet Gabe in person, and the entire remaining few minutes before he comes, every swear that passes his lips is more out of anxiety over the meeting than any immediate need for release.

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 ahhhh gabe .... jack i meant jack LOL

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 gabe keeps babbling about how bad he wants to touch jack, get his mouth on those perfect tits, mark him up and finger him senseless, THEN fuck him jack is Dying

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 after jack comes, while he's just relaxed enough not to care, he mutters 'you're not gonna like me.' Gabe recognizes it as Jack's agreement to finally meet, and he can't help the surge of triumph. he tries not to sound too smug--just in case--when he reminds Jack that they've been talking for weeks and that, if he was gonna dislike Jack, he'd certainly have figured that out already.

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 AHHHH does jack admit that he likes gabe or is it too soon >w>

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 too soon, i think. he's only just worked up the courage to meet the guy he's done nothing but cuss at and lust over via text for weeks XD

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 >w<

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 so, what does Gabe suggest for their first date? few rounds at a gym? barfight?

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 LOL jack is like "you know me so well" this is when gabe awkwardly drops in while jack's at work?? XD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 and jack immediately gets an awkward boner? XD

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 HAHA

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 looks up, sees Gabe, chokes on his own spit, points across the room and shouts 'get the fuck out of here!'

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 AHAHAHA where does he work and does he have to wear a stupid uniform one of those dumb aesthetic diners?? well either way jack is SO MAD especially because gabe's voice triggers a pavlovian response at this point

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 i was thinking garage, so he's all greasy and gross and in one of those ugly onesie jumpsuits

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 ahhhh yessss he's all flustered and when he gets flustered he gets Punchy gabe can't tell if his face is bright red from embarrassment or fury

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 XD both. both is good.

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 and he's all self-conscious about the random smears of oil and whatever on his face and in his hair but he keeps nervously running his fingers through his hair and making it Worse gabe wants to kiss him so bad

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 GABE WASN'T EXPECTING HIS OWN AWKWARD BONER

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 HAHAHA he really does like em filthy >w> jack is all over the place and gabe is just kinda watching him rage in a daze. all he can think about is how much he wants those greasy, work-roughened hands on him

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 Jack coming over to shoo Gabe out, but when he grabs Gabe's arm to steer him toward the door, Gabe manages to snag a bit of his coveralls and mutter 'where were you hiding that time?'

Jack curses vehemently beneath his breath, because even thinking about how crowded close they would be in that tiny supply closet has him uncomfortably hard, and being so close to fucking Gabe and his stupid fucking face and his intoxicating goddamn smell and the huge fuck off cock that Jack knows is waiting for him is too much

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 AAHDALIDNASDKJNCJCN jack gives him a hard shove in the right direction and snarls "get over there" .... oh lol that's a game line XDD gabe stumbles into the closet and turns around to jack slamming the door shut in his face and locking him in there

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 OMG XD JAAAACK

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 HE'S AT WORK AND GABE IS DISTRACTING and he's a bad combo of horny and pissed

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 gabe texting him from the closet a series of increasingly more risque photos better be careful no one finds him and calls the cops XD

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 ahahahahaha jack finally gets to his lunch break and slams into the closet, immediately just on gabriel's mouth and yanking at his clothes gabriel is suddenly incredibly aware of the fact that jack is actually just a tiny bit taller than him they bang painfully into various shelves and random shit but neither of them stop. gabriel is delighted that it only seems to make jack more intense.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 gabe asking jack between hasty kisses how long his lunch break is and trying to make a bet with him on how many times he can make him come before he has to get back

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 hhhhhhhhhhh somehow jack ends up hoisted up against the door with his legs around gabe's waist and gabe's fingernails drawing blood from his thighs haaa wait jack is wearing a jumpsuit

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 not anymore XD Jack's cussing reaches new levelsof inventiveness as they fight with the layers of his clothing

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 simultaneously threatening gabriel with death if he tears his uniform while also threatening death if he doesn't get his clothes off immediately

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 ahahaha what if they get discovered before they actually really get anywhere like they're just aggressively grinding and then someone bangs on the door and is like MORRISON WTF GET BACK TO WORK let the tension build until his shift is over >w>

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 omg jack gets done with his shift and texts gabe his address and is all 'IF YOU AREN'T FUCKING THERE TO MEET ME AND READY TO FINISH WHAT WE FUCKING STARTED I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I WILL FLAY YOU AND USE YOUR HIDE LIKE A BEARSKIN RUG'

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 AHAHA YEP gabe gets there and barely has time to knock on the door before jack is yanking him inside and they're making out against a random wall gabe ends up fucking jack for the first time over his kitchen counter

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 lol i'm just imagining Jack cussing up a storm when he has to wash his greasy, gritty handprints off the backsplash later XD

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 LOL gabe bends him over the counter and jack snarls "you motherfucker i make FOOD here" but when gabe tries to pull away jack is like "GABRIEL I SWEAR TO GOD FUCK ME RIGHT NOW"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 just no pleasing him XD

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 it turns out jack was just really really hangry

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 omg. gabe REALLY needs to bring handcuffs and a gag into this relationship.

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 once gabe fucks him a whole bunch jack mellows out a startling amount for brief periods of time immediately afterward AHAHA YES

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 lol turns into slug jack

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 yeppp after being fucked, jack drops like a rock goes immediately into slug form which lasts for between 5 minutes and 3 hours depending on how hard they went

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 gabe thinks this is the funniest shit ever

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 takes lots of pics

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 the best part is he knows for a fact that almost no one has experienced slug jack it's just for him XDD but then jack goes back to his usual temperamental self in no time which gabe loves too <33

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 gabe has a skewed sense of humor in this one XD

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 yep XDDD ahhhhh but then everything changed when the Feelings attacked

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 XD omg timing. i'm seriously about to drop feelings tomorrow?

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 ME TOO NGL,,, SOUNDS GOOD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 yey XD <3<3<3

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 GOOD NIGHT

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 night night. hope you sleep well. <3

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 <333 LOL okay so plot twist for this angry jack and weird sense of humor gabe

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 ???????

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 jack gets feelings first :3c

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 =O ohhhh he would be SO FUCKED i love it XD

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 >w< gabe's having a grand old time but he's not sure if it's serious or if he wants it to be serious meanwhile jack trips and plunges straight into a bottomless pit of Feelings

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 oh noooo so does jack, like, in his angry, cuss-y way...try to...talk about it??

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 HAHAHA well first he has to randomly get even more irritable than usual for seemingly no reason also starts being more aggressive about sex bc hey that's the reason gabe's here right which gabe is happy to oblige of course but it is weird

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 i'm just trying to wrap my head around how angry this Jack would have to get in order for Gabe to notice. maybe it's not just that--maybe he actually starts, like, not answering texts right away--sort of how he would do back when they first met not quite avoiding Gabe, but something's off. and his insluts feel a bit forced and stale. they don't flow so readily. XD

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 heeheeee jack is caught between "do i try to be more pleasant so maybe he'll like me back or do i try to make him go away before it gets painful"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 oh jacki

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 omg jack awkwardly haltingly asking if gabe wants to go out to eat he means it as a date but gabe takes it as casual dinner

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 OH NO GABE BUNNY SUNSHINE BBY NO Jack trying to get himself cleaned up all pretty for gabe actually  buys a nie set of clothes

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 AHHHHH and he thinks he's being So painfully obvious about his crush, gabe HAS to know right? but no. gabe just thinks he's being a little off.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 gabe sees him in khakis and...i don't know...a sweatervest or something and laughs and asks who died

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 ALIENACKISA woah accidentally spelled alien with my keysmash nice :alien:

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 geez though jack would be Livid either that or shut down a little some weird combination of the two

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 gets livid first, then just kinda shuts down and gives up. he's unnaturally quiet thru the meal, responding only when absolutely necessary, and then usually in grunts. it's enough that even Gabe realizes that something's wrong. his first guess: 'shit, Jack, did someone actually die?' only Jack's budding hopes for their relationship

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 skjfnsejkcnesjkfnsecjkn jack grumbles "if only" subtext: somebody is going to die and jack hasn't decided if it will be gabriel or himself yet

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 X'D brb--time for tea

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 ooo that's a good idea jack is quietly fiddling with his pasta, only kinda nibbling at it. gabe decides to test the waters with the worst corn-related jab he can come up with. jack gives him a look but doesn't respond. gabe concludes that jack must be dying of cancer or something

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 XD HE'S DYING OF HEARTBREAK GABE CAN'T YOU SEE???

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 LOL

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 oh god. so, what if Gabe, like, pesters an answer out of him, and Jack kinda mutters 'I like you' and Gabe s COMPLETELY not expecting this OR for Jack to apparently be in earnest about it, and he laughs. Just a short laugh, the sort of laugh that bursts out when you're completely stunned by something a need a moment to process. But Jack takes it completely the wrong way. Gabe get's a second's warning in the almost murderous look on Jack's face, then he gets decked and ends up laid out on the floor and stuck with the check.

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 kajcnaksjcnakcjnsakcj jack completely breaks his nose gabe ends up having to go to the er real quick for that lmao

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 omg they avoid each other for a good whie afterwards. Gabe is mad bc Jack actually hit him. Jack is pissed bc Gabe didn't get it. Gabe's the first one that caves, texting Jack about being owed an apology. Jack doesn't answer, and it's a full day before Gabe tries again.

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 omg bratty gabe another plot twist

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 you have one, or bratty gabe is one? also i think gabe is justified XD

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 bratty gabe is one XDD he's definitely justified in being bratty it's just funny lol

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 when Gabe follows up the next day and sees that Jack is going to try to ignore him again, it sets off his temper. He sends text after text after text until he finally gets a string of mismatched curses followed by WHAT from Jack

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 ahhhhh gabe is like DON'T WHAT ME YOU BROKE MY NOSE jack sends a very non-genuine sorry

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 so fucking sowwy i hurt the widdle baby's feewings. fuck off asshole. Gabe calls him. Jack ignores it. When Gabe starts calling back every time it goes to voicemail, Jack turns his phone off and flings it across the room. He settles in with a movie and orders a pizza. When he hears teh door, he automatically goes and opens it, and is taken by surprise when Gabe comes barreling in, demanding to know what the FUCK his problem is.

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 JAACK you can't escape

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 'Why the fuck did you hit me?? That's a pretty damn mixed signal.' Jack does NOT want to have this conversation. He turns his back on Gabe, goes to pick up his phone as if he hadn't flung it away half an hour ago, and curses about the screen being broken. 'Jack. I came here to get an answer. You owe me that much, at least. My nose looks like a fucking beet.' 'Ha. Now I'm not the only one with an ugly mug. Least yours isn't permanent.' The pizza guy arrives, giving Jack another small break and he tips big in gratitude, then tries to shoo Gabe away. 'I only ordered for one.' 'Jack you stubborn fucking bastard, was it all your goddamn idea of a joke or something?' 'Oh, yeah, ha ha REAL FUNNY the big angry guy with the scars has feelings! What a goddamn RIOT.' 'That's not what I meant.' 'Then why the fuck did you laugh?'

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 ahhhhhhhhhhh gabe doesn't reply right away and jack actually deflates

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 ((i'm so unaccustomed to angry jack that it doesn't even feel like him tbh XD))

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 he rubs at his arm and says "look i get it i'm so fucking amusing to you. but i'm too tired to entertain you right now." lol angry jack is another rare commodity

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 oh god my tiny, emotionally-stunted heart ; ;

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 he just wants gabe to take him seriously a little qoq

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 so, Gabe doesn't have feels yet...? or is this the kick in the pants that makes him realize he doesn't smile immediately upon seeing Jack out of anticipation for hilarity, but rather bc he's genuinely glad to see him?

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 hhhh can't decide if i want more angst or for them to fix it

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 if Gabe doesn't have feels, and tries to let Jack down gently, i can't realyl see angry Jack staying with him.

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 maybe gabe doesn't really think too hard about it, just tells jack that he misses him. really misses him, not just when he's unintentionally funny, but all the time "i just..." he sighs, trying to swallow his pride. "i'm sorry... i laughed. i was just startled"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 Jack grits his teeth over that, but holds his tongue.

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 "i just never know what you're thinking, so... i didn't expect it." "i asked you on a date," jack growls. "we've been having sex like nonstop since we met." apart from the past few days. "what else would i be thinking?" "that... it was casual." gabe shuffles and looks at jack through his lashes. "you meant it? you really..."

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 GABE YOU'RE GONNA GET PUNCHED AGAIN

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 jack is flexing his fist threateningly "yes, fuck, i like you." he says it with his usual irritable bluster, but there's a tremble in his voice and it suddenly hits gabe that jack is nervous

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 he's just a big insecure softie under all that bluster, Gabe.

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 YEP and gabe didn't really get that until just now he stares at jack open-mouthed and jack actually blushes. "what?"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 gabe.

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 LMAO gabe needs to talk to semi-slug jack about this lmao

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 lol no kidding okay, so, when last we left our intrepid heroes, Jack was trying not to crush the pizza that just got delivered as he held it in his large, angry hands while Gabe came to the slow realization that Jack was serious when he claimed to like like him. But to Gabe, they've only ever been friends with benefits.

Gabe, deciding that now is hardly the time to stop being blunt, asks Jack if he's going to invite him to stay for dinner, since he owes him a meal at least after leaving him stuck with the check last time.

Grudgingly, Jack allows him to stay. They sit as far from each other as possible on the couch, open pizza box between them.

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 omg the atmosphere is ice cold omg but jack hasn't been sleeping well at all after all this drama and after they put on some dumb show, he quickly starts dozing off gabe moves the box before jack ends up with a face full of grease

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 XD PIZZA FACE! When Gabe tries to help ease Jack down, Jack latches onto him and is snuggly--too far gone towards sleep to be his usual grumpy bear self Gabe is like 'this is not what i came here for.'

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 heeeeee exhaustion induced slug jack he ends up with jack's head pillowed in his lap and a hand running through jack's hair

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY BLESS <3<3<3

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 >w< gabe can't resist dropping a kiss onto jack's temple and jack's nose wrinkles adorably

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 he's kinda sitting there, petting Jack's hair absently while he ponders his predicament he likes Jack, but he likes him as a fun fuckbuddy. He hadn't been thinking about anything more serious, and isn't sure he wants something like that.

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 COME ON GABE

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 WELL WE JUST SPRANG IT ON HIM

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 gabe tries to get up but jack just clings more gabe like gently pulls away but jack tugs hard and somehow gabe ends up on his back with a dozing jack curled on top of him

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 they doze off like that, only to be awakened with a start at almost three in the morning as the dipshit from upstairs gets back drunk again and starts banging on the door of his apartment to be let in. lol cue early morning grumpy Gabe, slug Jack, and a chance to talk when Jack's awake but too tired to be wrathful

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 YES jack starts mumbling about how he really really likes gabe he knows he's hard to be around and nobody wants to deal with him but gabe still wants to be in his life

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 ohhh ;-;

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 gabe starts to realize how much he means to jack finally lmao

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/27/2017 'jeezus, bro, you couldn't just tell me all this before now?' he slugs Jack lightly in the shoulder, but Jack just huffs and won't make eye contact with him. 'Jack, I--' 'Don't give me an answer right now. I can guess what it'll be.' Gabe consideres him for a minute. Then: 'All right. You mind if I stay over?' Jack shrugs and Gabe grabs his hands to pull him up off the couch. 'All right, big boy. Up you get.' He leads Jack to the bedroom and undresses him before tumbling him into bed. He sheds his own clothes and climbs in after him. Any protests Jack might have made fall silent as Gabe kisses him. He keeps it soft and slow, even as he deepens the kiss. Every move is gentle, intended to comfort. Jack is already drifting back to sleep even as Gabriel strokes him.

firesonic152 - 10/27/2017 hhhhhhhhh QwQ gabes getting feelssss

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/28/2017 lol but Jack waking up and being his normal self, cursing up a blue streak at all the hickies Gabe sucked into his neck last night. without taking about it, they reach an agreement to continue on as they had been. the only change is that Jack is more reticent, less likely to text Gabe first, and more likely to go silent.

firesonic152 - 10/28/2017 ahhhhhhhh he's still aggressive when they makeout and all through foreplay but as soon as gabe is inside him, he stops putting up his usual fight if gabe goes rough he takes it willingly, but he doesn't push back

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/28/2017 omg. like, i really need to turn in but...before that--Gabe starting to get weirded out by how Jack is in bed, so he confronts him about it, says that Jack going all passive makes him feel like the bad guy. and Jack just casually shoots back that there's nothing Gabe can dish out that he can't handle, and Gabe just snaps back with something like 'Jack, I love you, but damn it if you aren't the most stubborn fucking cuss. I just want to know that I'm making you feel good.' And he stops because Jack is gaping at him. '...what?' 'What did you just say?' 'That...I want to make you feel good.' But something is nagging at the back of his mind, and he replays the words and hears what Jack heard and now both of them are staring at each other.

firesonic152 - 10/28/2017 AHHHHHHHH I'M DYING BRO that was gay

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/28/2017 XD GOOD. it was gay and cliche and they can figure out if Gabe meant it tomorrow

firesonic152 - 10/29/2017 soozy pay attention to me

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/29/2017 lol sorry what's up?

firesonic152 - 10/29/2017 nothing i just miss you XD AND WE NEED TO FIGURE OUT IF GABE MEANT IT if he loves jack yet anyway

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/29/2017 Jack muttering 'You didn't mean that,' as he turns away, but Gabe can see that he's blushing again. 'I didn't mean to say it...' he hedges.

firesonic152 - 10/29/2017 hhhhh gabe you coy motherfucker

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/29/2017 maybe he still doesn't know if he means it that way like, Gabe's a sweetheart. he's affectionate, and it just slipped out. but is it really the whole romantic love sort of thing, or just affection?

firesonic152 - 10/29/2017 he definitely likes jack a lot, more than anyone he's ever had a thing with. but he doesn't know if he likes jack as much as jack likes him??

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/29/2017 what if he asks for more time, and Jack snaps back that that's all he's been giving him. Hands him excuses, gives him time.

firesonic152 - 10/29/2017 gabriel looks pained as he says quietly that he really thinks jack deserves someone who loves him more than anything and he just... wants to make sure he isn't holding jack back from that OR SOMETHING lol

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/29/2017 not holding him back from that by sticking around as a fuck buddy? lol good job, Gbae

firesonic152 - 10/29/2017 LOL that's what jack throws in his face SO LIKE. HOW WE GONNA MAKE GABE FINALLY REALIZE HIS FEELINGS I'm dying squirtle we could always fuck up jack somehow

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/29/2017 i mean, it'd prolly be easy enough to just have Jack get tired of waiting and call it off... THEN fuck him up OuO

firesonic152 - 10/29/2017 YES AND GABE FREAKS OUT ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE LOST HIS CHANCE W JACK jack spits at gabe that he's tired of waiting for gabe to figure it out and he's done. gabe doesn't have any counterarguments. the last time gabe sees jack is when he walks out the door and turns around to see jack hesitate for just a second, a death drip on the door handle that he could swear is denting it. then a muttered "don't text me" before the door closes in his face. and that's that until jack gets fucked up somehow

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/29/2017 lands himself in the hospital, however he manages it. i guess we can't make it something funny like...he throws a spanner in a fit of rage and it bounces back to hit him in the face? XD

firesonic152 - 10/29/2017 LMAO HE LIKE GETS A SERIOUS HEAD INJURY

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/29/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 10/29/2017 i was thinking he picks a fight with the wrong people and gets Destroyed

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/29/2017 yah. that was my serious thought. XD drunk bar fight?

firesonic152 - 10/29/2017 yeah lmaooo he's like already dangerously intoxicated and then gets beaten within an inch of his life

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/29/2017 alcohol poisoning AND all sorts of blunt force trauma

firesonic152 - 10/29/2017 good combo gabe finds out bc his friend angela is like "bro there's this patient i'm super worried about" she starts going on about how this patient is like really fucked and she starts getting teary eyed over it and at some point she mentions the name jack and gabe can't hear anything else she says until she tells him the last name

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 Gabe sitting by Jack's bedside, desperately wanting him to wake up and be okay, convinced that he irreparably fucked things up between them, but just wanting to know that he'll be okay before he gets out of Jack's life again.

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 ahhh he tries to convince himself that it's only because he feels guilty about how they ended things but deep down he knows it's more than that

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 ;; keeps telling himself that he merely wants to apologize to Jack, but really he needs Jack to be all right, needs to talk to him just one more time

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 HE'S GONNA OWE JACK SUCH AN APOLOGY WHEN HE WAKES UP

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 so jack finally wakes up and like

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 Gabe means to apologize, but what comes out is a lecture XD

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 he's Fucked up. semi-permanent eye damage and shit yep ! jack is like FUCK OFF IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS gabe is like IT IS MY BUSINESS I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 WELL YOU PICKED A FINE FUCKING TIME TO DECIDE THAT, ASSHOLE I DIDN'T FUCKING DECIDE IT, JACKASS, IT JUST HAPPENED They're having, like, a full on shouting match in the hospital and the docs have to call security to get them to back down XD

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 AHAHA they kick gabe out but he manages to sneak back in they continue their shouting match in angry whispers

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 XD of course, they have to get pretty close for that to work so it ends up with an angry make out session

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 they fuck up some of jack's stitches his face starts bleeding for some reason it only makes jack more insistent

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 Gabe tastes Jack's blood in the midst of the kiss and backs off, starts lecturing him again. When Jack tells him he can either kiss him or fuck off, Gabe tells Jack that if he wants the former, then he can give Gabe a second chance once he's out of the hospital.

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 omg gabe baiting him w his own thirst jack hates how he caves to that

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 as soon as jack's cleared to go home, they rush back to his apartment and barrel onto jack's bed. gabe starts babbling about all his feelings but jack orders him to shut up and prove it

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 omg jack gabe sweet talking him all the way through it until he voice starts to go hoarse

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 ahhhhhhh<33 gabe partially lectures jack on being a fucking idiot but also drowns him in affection

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 Jack is just swearing at him the entire time, but it's all desperate and needy and after a while just a babbling stream of noise expressing how much he's wanted all of Gabe

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 ahhhhh jack you hot mess

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 yes. Jack being desperate and overcome and stil sore and rushing headlong into this even tho Gabe's hurt him more than once, but he just wants so goddamn bad

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 AHHHH and gabe gets overwhelmed by how jack is still throwing himself back into gabe despite everything

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 jack is sad and lonely and he wuvs gabe and just wants to be happy ;;

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 gabriel slows for a moment, scared of how he could potentially fuck this up again and hurt jack even worse, but jack kisses him, bites his lip, growls at him to stop thinking and just take him

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 o///o

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 they both end up THOROUGHLY marked XDD jack becomes a slug for like 5 whole hours after (gabe takes the opportunity to fuck slug jack slow and sweet <333)

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 lol Jack wanting so badly to just let himself enjoy the intimacy that begins to follow, tho--Gabe getting up and fixing coffee and bringing him some, extra gestures of affection like kisses and ruffling his hair and just reaching out to touch him or lean against him, calling him to say good night or good morning on days when Gabe doesn't stay over--just all the small gestures that go beyond fuck buddies. They give Jack the warm fuzzies, but his anxiety twists things around so that he has to fight to hold on to the good feelings.

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 AHHH jaaack but then gabe marries him so it's okay!!!!!!!! tell me it's okay lol

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 yes, pls. v okay. they turn into that comic where Jack is asking 'you still like me, right?' up until they're in their couple's graves

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 LOL gabe has to smooch his ring finger

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 omgomg yup Gabe and Jack falling back onto the mattress, all out of breath after their first roud on their honeymoon, and Gabe letting out this faint laugh and it gets Jack laughing a bit. He asks what's funny, and Gabe gestures vaguely, and is like: 'this. i never expected any of this.' And even as Jack is going quiet next to him, Gabe rolls over and cups his cheek and smiles reassuringly. 'didn't expect doesn't mean regrets. i'm glad it happened, and if i had a million lifetimes, i'd marry you again in all of them.' Jack smiles for him, just a little thing, but he's better these days at trusting Gabe over things like that. He still blushes every time, though, which Gabe still finds enchanting. Jack wraps an arm around him, pulling Gabe on top of him. 'Show me how glad you are.' Gabe is more than happy to do so.

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 hhhhh<33333 angry jack is all about actions >w< i'm dying that's so cute

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 ^^ angry jack is all about getting laid as much as possible XD

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 LOL also true but normal jack is also kinda like that

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 yup. consistent characterization ftw XD so, like, does Jack end up taking some anger management courses or something as a show of how serious he is about wanting to make sure the relationship works?

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 he definitely needs to do something to mellow out lol krav maga

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 UHM i think that might have not good consequences

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 LOL krav maga is totally jack's preferred fighting style though lbr

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 takes up swimming at the Y to burn off energy. also, exercise is supposedly a mood enhancer? Gabe totes approves.

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 :DDD jack is able to balance anger jack w slug jack

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 XD ohh, what if he's reluctant to broach the anger management idea w Gabe not only bc he doesn't want to throw one of his biggest shortcomings into the spotlight, but also bc he's afraid Gabe won't like him as much wout the anger to laugh at

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 uahhh how does gabe tackle that if jack won't bring it up DD:

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 like, how does Gabe suggest it to him?

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 yeah :thinking:

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 maybe he doesn't. i think it would mean more if Jack decided to make the change for himself. but to come out and say 'I have this problem' even if that's the preface to 'I'm going to try to fix it' can be hard--even if it's a really obvious problem. it's like, if you don't talk about it, then maybe it isn't so bad. maybe the consequences can be put off indefinitely.

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 yeah qoq ahh jack starts like going to a group or something but he doesn't want gabe to know so he starts getting kinda shifty whenever gabe asks what he's always doing at the same time every week or two gabe has no idea what jack could be hiding from him lmao

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 XD and the REALLY weird thing is, when he tries to confront Jack about it, instead of a flood of curses, Jack takes a deep breath and tries really hard to hold his temper and respond evenly.

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 LOL GABE THERE'S YOUR CLUE gabe worries but he also objectively trusts jack so he tries not to ask too much BUT GOD HE WANTS TO KNOW

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 XD meanwhile, Jack keeps telling himself that once he's made some progress, he'll tell gabe, 'cause it'll be easier once he no longer has a problem. thing is, Jack doesn't recognize the progress he's making.

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 gabe notices though QwQ maybe he like comments on it one day kinda out of the blue how he's happy that jack seems to be much happier lately

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 Jack gets weirdly defensive about that.

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 can gabe tell jack he's proud of him!!!

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 once he gets Jack to spill XD what if Gabe found one of the brochures from the group, and put two and two together? and he mentions Jack's mood to test the waters, then admits he figured it out when Jack gets flustered

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 aww jack tries to like give gabe a whole thing about how he knows his reactions to things are really bad and he's really trying and all that but gabe just silences him with the proud line ??

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/30/2017 Startled, Jack blinks owlishly at him for a moment. tries to argue that he's still fucking up, but Gabe won't hear it--just smiles gently and repeats that he's proud of him.

firesonic152 - 10/30/2017 awwwwwwww

[agentdarcylewis]

FYDL D-A-T Day 5: Challenged

Charity Link Here Jane/Darcy, Vision

Darcy wasn’t the biggest fan of the Vision. Since her Dad moved the operations of the Avengers upstate, avoiding him had become impossible - especially because Jane wanted to examine his gem for her research.  Her and Jane’s apartment was a bit secluded - she’d wanted to be as far away from her Dad as possible - but she still worked for the Avengers, and the building wasn’t really as big as it seemed.

Still, Darcy tried to avoid him. It almost worked, until he phased through the door of her office on a Wednesday afternoon.

“Ms. Lewis.”

“Holy shit dude!” Darcy yelped, jerking away from her computer. Her elbow hit her desk, and she spent the next couple seconds rubbing it and silently cursing the android for never knocking. She was usually better at noticing him phasing in, but she had been absorbed in wedding dress sites.

“I apologize.” Vision honestly didn’t look sorry at all. Darcy stared at him, waiting for him to explain why he was standing awkwardly in her office, but he just clasped his hands. “I only wished to congratulate you on your upcoming wedding to Dr. Foster.”

Darcy couldn’t help but smile widely at those words - she still couldn’t believe it - but one glance across the table and her excitement soured. “Uh, thanks.”

“You are welcome. But that was not my only order of business. I understand that you have been avoiding me -”

“Oh god,” Darcy muttered. 

“- And I wished to know if I had offended you in some way.”

Darcy so did not want to have this conversation. Rather than stare at the red and green android in a sweater vest across from her, she looked back at her screen. “Did Natasha tell you that?” she asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. (Judging by the way she had tensed, she doubted it was very effective.)

“No. I have observed that recently, you are spending 32% less time in the Avengers common spaces, and when I enter a room you leave it after an average of 2.67 minutes.”

“Look, dude,” she said, putting her fingers to the keyboard again. She could pull an “I’m distracted and have no time for you” vibe with the best of them. She’d learned from the best. “It’s personal.”

“Based on previous evidence from the Battles of Manhattan and Sokovia, honesty about problems within the Avengers is necessary for the continued operations of this team. There is a 92.7% chance that any such issues will eventually lead to discord and, thus, a drop in effectiveness.”

Darcy turned and stared at him. “What?”

“Based on -”

“Oh my god.” She shut her eyes tight. She wanted nothing more than to put her headphones in her ears and block out this whole conversation. Sometimes she really hated her Gryffindor tendencies. “Look, dude,” she repeated, fixing him with a look that came off as more of a glare. “You can excuse me for not wanting to talk to the guy who basically murdered one of my friends.”

Vision’s face shifted into an obviously confused look.

“JARVIS, okay? I literally grew up with him. I was the second person to ever talk to him. He read me bedtime stories when Tony was off partying, and he talked me through a hundred horrible break-ups. He was the only -” Darcy’s voice cracked, and she almost felt a vicious pleasure at the way Vision’s expression had deepened “- he was one of the only supports I had when my dad got kidnapped. When everything was changing - which it did, a lot, courtesy of the whole superhero schtick - he was always, always there. And all of that was erased by you. So, yeah. Sorry if I don’t want to talk to an android with my friend’s voice and none of his memories.”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Lewis.” He actually looked apologetic this time, the asshole. “However, not all of JARVIS is gone. His data -”

“I know. I know you’re made up of his data. But you don’t have any of his memories, do you?”

He shook his head. “In my fight to contain Ultron, the code containing my memories of the inhabitants of the Tower were completely erased.”

“He’s not you.” Darcy felt tired and way too close to crying. “I’m trying, Vision. But seriously? It’s a challenge. I don’t know if we’ll ever be buddies, and right now it’s hard to feel comfortable around you.”

“I understand, Ms. Lewis,” the robot said solemnly. “Have a good night.” With a nod, he turned and phased through the door of her office.

Darcy turned back to her computer. JARVIS had been the first person to know when she and Jane had started dating. And now… she sighed. God, this sucked. She sat, staring blankly at the wedding dress site she’d been browsing and twisting her engagement ring, until FRIDAY told her Jane was wondering where she was.

I really, seriously don’t like this. Aaaaagggh. I’ll read it over later. I was just interested in knowing more about the reactions of people to JARVIS’ “death” - bc Vision =/= JARVIS. But I don’t know a lot about the Vision (other than I think he’s an asshole, lol) so this is probably OOC. MCU’s timeline is fcked and I’m putting this drabble in the same universe as Days 1 and 3, as well as half a year away from Civil War. (Thinking Darcy is in grad school rn, and that AOU and CACW were at least a year apart.)

Here is the link to today’s charity! GLAAD is a charity dedicated to uplifting stories from and accurate depictions of LGBT+ folks in media.