#adam is actually hilarious

[kelppsstuff]

Mother Nature

Masterlist

Warnings: smut. Skinny dipping.

Eden Adam x Mother Nature F! Reader

Taglist: @fandomsbookclub @adamsfavoritesinner @leathesimp @michelleszn @sashaphantomhive @ladyninggs

—

God created two humans. The first Man Adam, and The first Woman Lilith. The two humans however had conflicting opinions on most things. It wasn’t a surprise that Lilith left Adam for Lucifer. In return god gave Adam Eve, but just before he did Adam met another soul. She wasn’t human even if she looked like it. She was nature. She created green life.

—

Adam walked around. He was alone. Lilith was no where to be seen. He was recently informed that she decided to be with an angel named Lucifer. Adam will say he felt hurt, but he mostly felt lonely. He walked to the springs and as he was making his way past the bushes he saw you.

He watched as you placed you hand in the water feeling the temperature. All was quite until you stood. “You can come out now, dear human.” You called out to him.

He made his way out of the bushes and cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean to peep on you.” You turned around to look at the man.

Adam felt his breathing stop. You were breathlessly beautiful. Enchanting (E/C) hues, smooth (S/C) skin, long (H/C) that was slightly wavy.

“Your eyes are welcomed to look at me.” Adam swallowed, even your voice sent a shocking thrill up his spine. He took a moment to look away from your face. You wore a white dress, partially see through as if flowed in the wind.

“What are you wearing?” Adam was naked, he didn’t feel a need to wear clothes. He was free to just be him. He stepped closer to you. Your chest just brushed against each other as he felt the material of your dress in curiosity.

You pushed the sleeves off your shoulders and the dress fell. The white material pulling at your feet. You looked up, titling your neck slightly. “Is this better?” You asked quietly.

Adam focused on your plush plum naturally red lips. He brought his hand to you cheek and his thumb pulled your bottom lip slightly down.

He thought of what it would feel like to brush your lips against his. Would it feel just like it did with Lilith? Meaningless?

The next moment he took was to look at your body. Each of your curves making him want to kiss you more and more.

You turned around and he took that opportunity to look at the soft plush of your bottom. He wanted to run his hand down the dip of your back.

You walked towards the spring. Slowly stepping in it, going deeper and deeper until you were shoulder high. You looked back at Adam and motioned for him to come to you. “Aren’t you coming, human?” Adam was quick to nod, enchanted by your beauty.

He was quick to be by your side, though while you were shoulder deep, half of his chest still showed out of the water. Showing his significant height difference.

“My names Adam.”

“I know.”

You were after all there as he was made from dust.

“What’s your name?” He inquired, brows furrowed. “I do not have one.” You seemed indifferent about it, but Adam seemed bothered. “Why?” You shrugged. “God did not give me one. What would you like to call me?”

“Y/N.”

“Why?”

“It’s almost as beautiful as you.”

You didn’t know what was happening to you, but you felt a rush of warmth go to your face. Adam leaned down for a second and picked you up. Wrapping you legs around his waist.

You made a strange sound as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “I’m sorry I don’t know what that was. I think I’m falling ill.” You were embarrassed, but he smiled broadly at you.

“You just giggled.” You tilted your head. “Giggled?”

“Something that happens when your happy.”

“So that is what this feeling is.”

Adam felt it too. He felt happy. He was also curious. “What do you do? If your not human nor angel?”

“I help life come to earth.” Adam knew little about life, only reproduction. “How? By having intercourse?” You giggled again. “I don’t have it. I help mostly with plants. Reproduction happens from one of two emotions, love or lust.”

“Lust?” Adam asked. He knew what love was, he was told to love Lilith and he tried. Though he didn’t know if he truly did.

“Yes, would you like me to show you?” Adam nodded.

You leaned your mouth to his and kissed him with all the passion you could muster. As it went on you felt Adam’s tongue poke your lips. You let him brush past your lips as he let you with his own. The longer you went on you could feel Adam become more ravenous, hungry for you.

Adam never felt this way. Sure he had had sex with Lilith but it never felt as good as this and he hasn’t even gone past kissing you.

You broke off for air, chest heaving, but Adam didn’t want to stop. He continued to kiss down your neck as you sighed out in pleasure and when he bit you you gasped in shock. “Fuck I’m sorry.” Adam started to pull away but you stopped him. You slammed your lips harshly on his, biting his lower lip when you pulled away. “Do it again.”

The longer you two went on kissing, the more desperate you two became for something more.

You felt his cock poking at your entrance, begging to be inside. “Please.” Adam hadn’t ever said that word, but you loved hearing the sound fall from his lips. “Go ahead.”

You two started at each other as he started to push himself slowly inside you. “Fuck.” Adam groaned and you moaned when he bottomed out inside you.

Your walls were gripping him so tight it took a minute for him to be able to move. He started out with slow and steady thrusts but as you begged for more, they became hard and quick.

Your nails clawed at his back while his lips harshly sucked your skin, when he hit a certain spot inside you. Adam continued to hit in that very same spot, making you feel crazy, and it wasn’t long before you felt a coil in your lower stomach ready to snap. “I’m going to cum.” You warned him. Adam didn’t want to Admit — he didn’t want this to end — but he felt his end nearing soon as well. “Yeah?” He questioned as he used on of his hands to rub at your fold, increasing your pleasure.

He gave your clit one hard pinch and that had did you in. You came hard, your walls tightened around Adam as you milked him dry of his seed.

When we pulled out you could feel it start to fall out from you and into the water.

Adam felt disappointed that it wouldn’t stay in your womb, but there was always next he thought.

—

After that day you would often spend your time with Adam. You didn’t know what was happening to you when you saw him. You thought you were having an allergic reaction of some kind, but you never wanted to leave him.

You and him were hugging on the ground starting up at the clouds when you felt it. A missing piece of his rib.

You raised your head and hurried to look at him. He gave you a confused glance in return. “What happened to your rib?” He made an ohhh sound as he realized what startled you.

“Heavens angels said they needed it for something.” You nodded in understanding and laid back down on his chest. If heaven needed then it was nothing to worry about.

However the next day you and Adam were sitting by the springs, feet’s in the water, just talking when a voice interrupted Adam from him talking about a new animal he named.

“Hello?” A shy feminine voice called out. The two of you looked in sync over to the voice. Who was that?

“Uh? Who are you?” Adam spoke your thoughts. “I’m your new wife,” she said confidently.

You felt the air leave your body. You looked to Adam and his eyes shared your fear. He quickly shook his head. “No I’m sorry my wife left me.” He had also had you now, he didn’t want another different wife.

A shining white light glowed behind the new woman and reveled another. Sera. “She is right Adam. She was created from your rib to be your new wife. Her name is Eve.” Adam felt conflicted. He didn’t want this ‘Eve’ he wanted you.

“I don’t need another wife Sera,” Adam would try to explain — still holding your hand. “What about reproduction Adam? That is your duty.”

Adam looked at you questioning. You knew exactly what he was asking. ‘Will you reproduce with me?’ And the answer was yes. You would.

You nodded your head once at Adam and he smiled, happy and confident. He turned his head back to Sera, a spark in his eyes and a feeling of warmth in his chest, one similar to yours. “Me and Y/N can reproduce.”

“Y/N?” Sera asked the both of you.

“My name.” You finally spoke. Adam loved the sound of your voice. “You do not have a name. God didn’t give you one. You have no purpose for Adam. Your only job is to bring green life to the world. Not human life.” Sera scolded you. You couldn’t defend yourself. Maybe she was right?

Adam saw the self-conflict-ion cross your face. “I named her, God said I could name everything. And she is perfectly compatible with me. Much better than Lilith.” Sera words royally pissed Adam off.

“Enough!” Her loud voice booming over the garden. “This is by Heavens command, you will take Eve as your new bride. You will never see the nature that is beside you again. You will be faithful to your new bride. The only mother ‘Y/N’ will be is of nature.” Sera laughed condescendingly. “I like that, Mother Nature. Come Mother Nature.”

You and Adam couldn’t do anything. You couldn’t go against heaven. You looked to Adam. You didn’t want to lose him, but they were taking him away.

You went to walk after Sera, but Adam gripped your wrist and pulled you back into his arms. He gave you a kiss full of the feelings he wished to confess, and you returned it wholeheartedly. When you pulled away Adam hugged you and whispered in your ear. “Every moment I spend alive on this Earth I will think of you. My Y/N.”

“I was enchanted to meet you, Human.”

—

Once you were far away Sera casted an enchantment on you. “No mortal soul will ever see you. Only beings off the mortal plane. No human will ever hear your voice again. You will give green life to the world and that is it.” She spoke her voice final. “I know you’ll do a good job Mother Nature.”

As she walked away you felt something weird coming to your eyes. As if it was raining.

“My name is Y/N.”

—

Adam kept to his word and thought of you every moment of every hour. Even after his banishment from the garden. Even after he died and went to heaven. He spent a millennia thinking of you, and he’ll spend another doing the same.

It was only when he tried to go back into the garden that he saw you. He was a divine being now and his banishment was lifted.

“Y/N?” He called out to you as you check the temperature of the spring. You turned, knowing only one person who could have called you that. “Adam.” You smiled. He hurried to you and gave you the biggest hug he could.

When y’all eventually pulled away he noticed you were naked, your dress hanged on a near branch.

You two noticed his outfit. A mask and a robe. “What are you wearing?” You asked, giving Adam a sense of deja vu.

He started to pull his mask off along with the robe. When they were discarded he hurried off his shoes and pants. “Is this better?”

You smiled and nodded. He wrapped his arms around your waist and leaned his forehead to yours.

“Intercourse happens from two emotions.” He spoke the knowledge you gave him so long ago. “I’ve shown you lust.” He leaned his lips down just gently brushing yours. “Now let me show you love.” He pressed a soft and delicate kiss. One full of passion, longing, and love. While you returned it back, desperately wanting all of him forever. And now you two finally had forever.

—

Ahhh I hope y’all enjoyed that! If you have any requests don’t be afraid to leave a comment! I have two new requests that I’m going to be working on now!

-kelp 💛

[gaffney]

when the obsession is mutual

[zer0point5ive]

“dr gordon is a specialist he’s making money on his specialty” “he’s not a thinker” “the man has his hand on the doorknob half the time i’m there” the way john could Not stand him i just know it was tense as hell in that makeshift hospital when lawrence woke up

[welivefast-dieyoung]

Adam. PLEASE what is this 😭😭

[number-one-shadisper-shipper]

Headcanon that both Sonic and Tails are huge Owl City fans. Fireflies is a big one for Tails, especially when he's dealing with insomnia. Sonic doesn't have any particular favorite but Fireflies, Good Time, and Shooting Star are all part of the set of tunes that random cycle through his head constantly. When Can I See You Again is also one they think about a lot in context of each other.

[literalzxmbie]

I’m an Adam hater till the day I die, but I have to admit that he delivers every line so spectacularly. Like, he’s one of the funniest characters in Hazbin Hotel-

[quietwingsinthesky]

btw funniest option for reverseverse archangel siblings is that lucifer & michael are the twowith the dead mom killed by a demon, and gabriel and raphael are accidents that happened along the way that chuck kidnapped

[constantvariations]

So either Wilt turned into a giant phillips head screwdriver offscreen, they’re trying to imply that Beacon wasn’t the first time Adam stabbed Blake, or the writers forgot their character’s canonical injuries. Again

[micamicster]

I love when the teenagerness of these characters busts through maggies purple-prose into their narration. The way Adam will be having philosophical thoughts and then interrupt himself to be like DONT look at blues boobs

[workingforitallthetime]

Adam #119 and Connor #98 feels special to me, love the NHL for treating the top prospects so well :)

https://www.gettyimages.ca/detail/news-photo/adam-fantilli-poses-for-a-headshot-at-the-2023-nhl-scouting-news-photo/1258543255

https://www.gettyimages.ca/detail/news-photo/connor-bedard-poses-for-a-headshot-at-the-2023-nhl-scouting-news-photo/1258543093

adam with his expressive face is incapable of taking a bad picture, and connor with his desire to never make an expression is incapable of taking a good one. why is gavin the only one whose shirt won't fit over his biceps.

[claire-starsword]

Shining Force Data Collection - May 1992

These are from a special on japanese magazine Beep! Megadrive. I haven’t translated most of it because it’s your typical character stat analysis and item/magic list, but there were some fun character tidbits as well.

Protagonist

Leave the finishing blows to him

Character: A typical man, doesn't talk much. Many warriors admire him and join his force.

Special skills: He's the only one capable of ordering the wild members of the Shining Force to retreat.

Mae

Daughter of the Knight Captain, running through the wide fields

Character: Super harsh. Though that's what you can expect of a knight that was also raised like a princess.

Special skills: Her father was the Knight Captain Varios. Her bloodline is as good as it gets for a knight.

Ken

This model apprentice is a guy that grows stronger real fast

Character: Honest. To the point where he comes off as rude to other people. Though it's also a good thing.

Special skills: His youth is his strength. As a knight in training, his growth upon getting real battle experience is extraordinary.

Arthur

The hidden power of a laundry worker

Character: Extremely earnest. His weak point is that he's quick to worry.

Special skills: He's a unique knight who can learn magic. Is that a given when you work on the laundry in Manarina?

Pelle

Are mercenary knights immortal?

Character: A hothead. Perhaps that's why he's easy to deceive, he's completely helpless when it comes to surprise attacks.

Special skills: Has the sheer determination to climb up from a precipice. His strong will beyond that of regular mercenaries isn't just an act.

Vankar

Never stops drinking

Character: Loves alcohol and freedom and fighting. Has an adult charm to him.

Special skills: Fights head-on, one-on-one, a fair clash of power versus power. He's a knight for hire with a lot of pride.

Earnest

A knight of the shadows living for revenge

Character: A man of conviction who won't turn back at any danger in order to attain his goals.

Special skills: Skilled at guerilla tactics, seeing how he penetrated a fort leading only a small bunch of soldiers.

Luke

A brat charging onward with a dumpling of a nose!

Character: A natural-born fighter who loves battling, However, he's usually a kind man.

Special skills: Great physical strength. Shows a fighting style distinct from the knights.

Gort

A hot blooded grandpa unmatched in the battlefield

Character: A kind warrior who loves his family and homeland. Has the charm of an unassuming master.

Special skills: Relies on skill more than strength, contrasting with the young Luke.

Hans

Talented archer who hates fighting

Character: A pacifist. Does things on his own pace and whines a lot, but when he decides to act he does it well.

Special skills: Precise as a machine with the bow. Never misses a target.

Diane

Sniper woman raised in the mountain country

Character: Having been raised as a hunter since a young age, she is very self reliant. Also full of vitality.

Special skills: Runs through hills and fields like a wild beast, chasing after her prey through any distance.

Lyle

Heavy firearm guy with a terrible sense of direction

Character: He's careless, but the kind of guy that's hard to hate. Even he admits his sense of direction is poor.

Special skills: Certainly strong. Carries around that heavy cannon without a single complaint.

Guntz

An inventor’s soul running through the battlefield

Character: A sensitive guy despite his appearance. Seems to be very watchful of his surroundings.

Special skills: Has dexterous hands. Does maintenance of the steam suit by himself.

Tao

The burning woman was devoted

Character: Seemingly meek, but strong on the inside. As expected of a fire mage.

Special skills: Cooks the undead of monsters well-done. A monster chef.

Anri

The princess is a silver haired mage

Character: She is a princess yet has lived in Manarina for a while, perhaps she's good at adapting to other environments?

Special skills: A princess who attacks with ice magic, it's a bit of a scary image to conjure.

Domingo

An impertinent creature since the day he hatched

Character: Talks way too much. Perhaps his egg was hatched in a bad way.

Special skills: His gelatinous body is hard for enemies to damage. Very resistant.

Alef

The magician of lightning attacks hates Lowe?

Character: A woman (?) with a unique adult vibe among those in the force. Quite attractive...

Special skills: The Bolt magic that makes one's fur stand on end and summons lightning. Its power is outstanding.

Lowe

The one who saved a life is a priest in training

Character: Very nosy and curious. Yet has a vibe that's hard to dislike.

[idk book did you read the previous character]

Special skills: Being a priest, that is healing magic of course. Especially eager to treat the girls' wounds.

Khris

Has hidden strength very unexpected of her looks

Character: Because she has served a princess for a long time, she's mild mannered and very quiet.

Special skills: With experience she becomes quite strong, even in close combat. She also looks kind of lonely.

Torasu

The best when it comes to Aura

Character: The eldest in the force. Has a surprisingly funny face.

Special skills: Thanks to his long life, he has learned plenty of healing spells. Very knowledgeable.

Gong

The peak of body training

Character: He wanders about while training himself. A monk with strict discipline.

Special skills: Summons the healing fairies with a strong proper fist. You have to see it.

Balbaroy

Dances like a butterfly, stings like a hornet

Character: Has a deep sense of honor. Fought to protect the priest in Shade who took care of him.

Special skills: A valuable member who can fly. Can't anything be done about his kinda low strength...?

Amon

Do you understand how to use the birdmen couple?

Character: A gentle wife who cares dearly for her husband. You want to answer her pleas no matter what.

Special Skills: Another flying member along her husband. You can leave the battlefield scouting to them.

Kokichi

Flying is his life

Character: He has persisted for fifty years on experiments with flying machines. That says all you have to know about his personality.

Special skills: Kokichi is the only human in all of Rune to have flown. It's an amazing feat.

Bleu

Is this a legendary Sacred Dragon?

Character: He's a crybaby, but his care for his friends might be beyond that of humans. Likes Karin.

Special skills: Bleu is still only a child. He's just starting to develop his powers as a sacred dragon.

Zylo

The only option when it comes to forest battles

Character: While a beastman, he is the king of Bustoke. A noble and kind ruler.

Special skills: A forest spirit. In a forest, no one can match his power.

Adam

Robot given a duty

Character: Loyal servant to the protagonist. He was created for this role. A long. long time ago.

Special skills: His whole body is weaponized. By getting experience, he may be able to unlock its abilities.

Musashi

A strong warrior visiting from an eastern country

Character: The embodiment of the samurai code. He cannot ignore evil, no matter how small.

Special skills: With a single swing of his katana he can tear apart even air! Such skill might be above even the protagonist's.

Hanzou

This user of ninja arts holds his sword in a backwards grip

Character: A complete mystery. His nature, his personality, all unknown. A literal fighting machine?

Special Skills: The secret art of hiding in the shadows. Now, let's look out for him thoroughly.

Yogurt

Why does he fight?

Character: "I don't get it..."

Special skills: He runs. Has a helmet. Tumbles down. Apparently has a lot of unexpected skills. Really unexpected.

[kelppsstuff]

“How long.”

Warnings: ANGST!!! Cheating.

Masterlist

Summery: Adam cheated on you with Lilith

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | ALT ENDING

—

Adam had spent the entirety of his afternoon listening to Lilith and Lucifer’s daughter go on and on about some redemption hotel. Adam will admit he might not have been no rude if her face didn’t fill him with guilt.

Her mother had been in heaven for the last seven years. No one knew besides him and Lute.

When Lilith first tried to get a meeting with Adam he said no. He didn’t want to see that woman, not when he had the most dotting, heaven sent, lovable wife at home.

But the more time past, the more he grew curious on what she wanted. So he set up a meeting with her. He didn’t intended to have sex with her. But he did, and even though he was immediately struck with guilt, he felt relief as well.

Lilith had left him for Lucifer, so her having sex with him felt as if maybe he actually was good enough. That’s why he did it a second time and on there third meeting is when Lilith asked to go to heaven. Adam didn’t know what to do. He knew he should say no, but what if that made him not good enough? So he said yes.

So began his affair for the last seven years he had been lying to his wife. His beautiful Y/N. He felt guilty every time he saw Lilith but it wasn’t enough to stop.

Lute would tell him every time to be faithful. That you didn’t deserve this. That you were growing suspicious. But he never listened and now as he watched you stare at him when he walked through the front door, he wished he did.

“Hey sweetheart. What you feel like eating tonight?” Adam knew something was wrong. So he tried to changed any subject that could possibly not go his way.

“How long.”

Your voice was cold as you spoke, but he could still he that heart ripping rasp.

“W-what?” He didn’t want to assume, but he knew. He knew that you know. And fuck did he regret everything instantly.

“Lilith. How long have you been fucking her.” He never really heard you curse. You were the definition of a saint. Fuck he fucked up bad.

“I can explain. Just please listen to me.” He could feel his chest pounding with panic. With dread.

“How long has this been going on?”

Adam swallowed.

“Seven years.”

The first tear fell out of your eye.

Adam went to try and grab your hand but you snatched it back. You tired to talk but you couldn’t find your voice. More tears fell.

“I swear it was a mistake.”

“A mistake? Yeah just a mistake, That lasted SEVEN YEARS!” Your body trembled as you went around the table, trying to put distance from him.

“I didn’t intend for this I swear!” Adam voice cracked as he saw his life — his Y/N — falling apart.

“Why? Was I not good enough?”

‘Was I not good enough?’ That same question that haunted for so many years he couldn’t even count. That same question that made him vow to never hurt another like he’d been hurt. To never cheat on another.

“She wanted to have a meeting. I originally said no, but I grew curious and I just had one. Then it happened and it was meaningless.”

“Meaningless? Do you fuck her for seven years?”

“FUCK! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Adam never knew true hate. He thought he hated Lucifer but now he knew he didn’t, because what he felt towards himself right now was true hate.

“Then what happened.” Your voice went cold again as you wiped another tear.

“We had two more meetings.” Fuck. “And then on the third one she asked to come to heaven.”

You scoff, how can he say he hates everyone down in hell yet let on right through so he can get his dick extra wet.

“And it was like a sinking hole. One I couldn’t climb out of.”

“You have wings. You could of used them.”

In that moment you left him in the dining room and went to grab your suitcase you had already packed. You couldn’t stay another moment.

Adam immediately went after you and took the suit case from you. Fuck fuck fuck. He couldn’t lose you. He couldn’t function without you.

“Please baby, just give me another chance.” He never begged for anything in his life or after life. He didn’t beg for Eve when Lilith ran of with the duck. He didn’t beg for another woman when Eve cheated on him. He didn’t beg for his son Able to come back to life. But fuck would he beg now .

“I’ll do anything, please.”

“Anything?” Your voice in a whisper.

“Anything.” He said back just as softly.

“Then you’ll give Lucifer’s daughter hotel a chance. You can hate everyone in hell if you let them through our gates.” Done. Adam could do that, he could do anything for you. “And you’ll let me leave today. You’ll let me have time.” Except maybe that. Fuck he couldn’t even sleep without you for a day. How long were you going to be gone? We’re you coming back.

“Just please stay.” Adam felt the tear fall onto his cheek.

“If you don’t let me leave.” You looked up from the floor into his watery eyes. “Then we have truly lost everything.” Your own eyes watery.

He gave you back the suitcase. He cupped your face in his and spoke.

“I can let you leave today. But don’t think that because I am that we’re finished. I will wait for you for an eternity. I will have you through every life time. I will love you until your soul cannot work without mine. You will come back to me, and I don’t care how it happens.” He leaned down and kissed Y/N one last time.

You didn’t kiss back and when he let you go you walked out the house and onto the streets. About a block away is when you broke down, and that were Emily found you and took you home with her.

—

Hiiiiiii! I know that this is short but I plan to do a part 2. If you have any requests please don’t be afraid to ask! Have a lovely day

- Kelp 💛

Taglist

[iinsawdious]

[elitehoe]

I think it would be funny if Christopher Daniels came out next week and goes "Bryan is gonna eat your ass alive" and this is the subtle way we find out HR is trying to fix all the horny things Hangman has said

[astrxealis]

playing nier automata after being familiar w some songs/places from final fantasy xiv is so funny to me bcs it’s like: HEY!! THIS PLACE. FROM THE SECOND NIER ALLIANCE RAID OF THE CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED MMORPG FINAL FANTASY FOURTEEN!!!

[adammilligan]

it would be so fucking funny if everyone's problems with michael and adam's relationship were NOT that it started out so badly and was formed in the worst place ever during a period of time where neither of them were really mentally stable it's that adam unironically thinks michael is the funniest person ever