Orv: Spoiler warning
One of the things I noticed after finishing ORV was the way Kdj treats all of the characters. To be more specific, how that treatment compares and contrasts with how he views himself. There’s SO. MUCH. IRONY THERE!
He tells Lee Jihye that she needs to keep living, no matter what. That no matter what she’s done, she HAS to survive. That she deserves to live. That she will always deserve to live. And then he becomes the oldest dream- dooming himself to an endless end akin to death itself- because he thinks he deserves it.
He tells Shin Yoosung that in a pinch, he’d choose her life over all of Seoul. That there’s always a way to survive. That a sacrifice like that is never the right play. That all the shitty stuff she’s done? She’s done it to survive. And then he sacrifices himself, again and again and again, like he thinks it’s inevitable. He calls himself a monster for trying to survive a shitty childhood.
He tells Jang Hayeon that the only way to overcome a wall is to fight it. That everyone has a wall, that you will never truly understand someone, that you have to try anyway. And then he throws himself into the abyss and never explains why.
He tells his mother that her sacrifice was not kind. That martyring yourself to help someone will only ever hurt them. That a ‘kind’ lie will never be better than the cruel truth.And then he dies, again and again and again and again, to help his friend. And he lies about doing it.
Kim Dokja teaches those around him the exact lessons he needs to learn. He gives them the exact kindness he’s never received. He uses the story as an opportunity to explore that first question he asks us- what if my life was a different genre? The world changes. He finally gets the chance to be something other than a reader- and he doesn’t take it. Instead, he guides everyone else to the ending he wishes he could reach. Because, in his mind, that’s the happiest a reader can ever be.
And that reader- character divide is the reason that Kimcom’s plan in the epilogue actually works. When he views himself as a character, Kim Dokja is finally able to apply his love for the characters to himself. He can finally learn the lessons he’s been teaching the whole time- because although he’s still the reader, ‘Kim Dokja’ can finally be a character.
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psst. pollen enthusiasts. i made a playlist.
the title is from espresso despite espresso not even being on the playlist i just thought it was funny (will prob change it to a lyric from loml eventually) but!!! it's all in order. their story from beginning to end. in music. can you tell i may be even more obsessed with them than the literal main couple of the series.
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any thoughts on ttpd??? i want to know what you think >24h after release 🤍
this is a very difficult question, edith, because i have a huge problem with this album, i also feel like i have a lot to say, but i will write the entire essay in a few days, cause there's a lot to unpack. for now i can only say that i don't love this album, i still think it's the worst taylor's album ever (for those who say this is her best album: stop lying), there's nothing poetic about it for me & really hate some of the lyrics (come on, charlie puth & tattooed golden retriever, cringe cringe cringe). as much as i love jack, i think taylor should have worked more with aaron on this one, because the 2am edition is much better & i feel like he saved it with his incredible production, it's literally everything i wanted this album to be. in conclusion: i would probably erase the entire standard edition (maybe i would leave 2-3 songs that i actually liked) & i would just make an album out of those 2am tracks. the only song i can truly say i love is "i hate it here", maybe because it's the most relatable for me. but imo the entire album was just... terrible & unnecessary. taylor, please, take a break.
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