#affordable home gym equipment

[docareto]

How to Set Up a Home Gym Without Breaking the Bank

Setting up a home gym is a fantastic way to stay fit and healthy, especially if you’re short on time or prefer the comfort of working out at home. At Docare, we understand the importance of staying active without having to splurge on expensive equipment. Here’s a straightforward guide to creating your own home gym on a budget.

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[nouearth]

an internship at wayne interprises. (part ii)

bruce wayne x male reader headcanons

part i.

warnings: smut, age gap, bottom reader, breeding, virgin!reader, top!bruce, established relationship, lowkey kind of fluffy, bruce is falling in love.

a/n: aaaand it's finally here! i hope you all enjoy the long awaited part two! i was watching american psycho recently and bruh, i forgot how hot he looked in it. like. i want to run my tongue all over him.

—as intimidating as bruce was, he never found the courage, or time really, to isolate you from your responsibilities.

—was it cowardliness that he was faced with? or was it that returning feeling that churned in his stomach, swelled in his chest, until it made him rethink the thoughts he’s had of you?

—guilt. he never felt it when he was jerking off to your pictures, which have become a daily routine now. 

—but it returned in powerful marches, ached at the center of his heart, ridiculing him for thinking about his employee in such a crude, exploitive way.

—he always felt it when he saw you first thing in the morning, working quietly, mindlessly as your body had begun to become used to the caffeine.

—like wind chimes, you moved around people - around the wind - not with them, as you made your way to the break room. 

—three packets of sugar and two spoons of creamer normally kept you awake, but the frozen pocket pizza in the toaster oven was the real source of your energy. 

—bruce winced as he silently watched you from afar. you yawned, rubbed your eyes as the heat from the toaster oven warmed the surrounding area.

—jesus, no wonder you’re always so tired. look at the shit you’re eating.

—the march of soldiers, rioting against guilt, roared, and he was reminded of his privilege immediately after. a butler that had been providing him three nutritious meals a day since birth, and a garden of wealth that allowed him to afford a home gym with the best equipment; it was all handed to him and while he did his best to give back to the city, it was never enough to pacify the war zone of his chest. he was a person, a wealthy person, but a person nonetheless.

—you were a person.

—though ironically enough, he came to the the image of you hungrily licking the grease off your fingers when you were finished with breakfast later that night.

—there was always something new about you that he would fixate on when his hand met his cock, stroking it with a glorious amount of lube until it dried. 

—though he never fretted, because your lips, your face, your nose - everything about you - milked him until the fresh stock of cum had become the only slime that layered his softening erection.

—like bruce’s nights, you’ve begun infiltrating the routine of his mornings now.

—or rather, bruce began infiltrating yours after he visited you in the break room for the first time.

—good morning, mister wayne…

—oh, new intern, right? your name was…?

—he always feigned his disinterest because he liked hearing your name come out of your handsome mouth.

—(m/n), sir…

—it sounded beautiful. the softness of your voice kindled a tenderness in bruce and it could’ve cradled him to sleep had the coffee from the break room not been so disgusting and cheap.

—the third time, he memorized the pattern you spoke in. your voice always trailed off at the end of a sentence as if it had been stolen by a criminal.

—it’s (m/n), sir…

—he wished he could be that somebody.

—the fifth time, he’d gotten used to the watery aftertaste of the coffee.

—wait, don’t tell me. your name rhymes with…

—and when you laughed because bruce was completely off by a mile, he saw a glimpse of your soul that had been sheltered by intimidation and anxiety.

—he learned he wanted to become a part of your life when he took you out for lunch.

—long overdue, but i usually take my interns out for lunch.

—bruce usually didn’t.

—oh—mister wayne, i don’t think that’s necessary… i already packed lunch.

—great! you don’t have to pack for tomorrow then.

—wait, but i haven’t set up the meeting with—

—i’ll get someone on it—already made reservations, c’mon.

—he’d learned so much about you that day, then the following, and the next; your upbringing, your hopes and dreams, your downfalls, it felt like he was walking on water with the way you willingly opened more of yourself every consecutive day.

—he could listen to you talk for hours, become poisoned by it if your voice was liquid, and bruce accepted that risk when he made another routine to invite you for lunch.

—previous nights were as followed: he stroked his cock to you, breathing heavily into the memory of your cologne, the wrinkles of your shirt, the curl of your lips when he made a joke.

—since he’d gotten to know you as more than a stained selfie, more than the meek statue that stood in the corner; instead of feeding himself with the thoughts of you that derived from pure lust, the reality of his nights had shifted.

—he stroked himself, that never changed. but he closed his eyes, breathing until he could see the ghost of you by his side.

—your shared bodies tensed into one another as his body curved forward into the arc of your back when he pushed in for the first time. you reached back to hold his thigh, pausing his thrusts because you needed to adjust, because you wanted to feel all of him in complete comfort.

—it was intimacy.

—it only melted - your body - when bruce kissed the shell of your ear, telling you that he’ll continue once you were ready. you let him in, sprouted for him like a bud in spring, and felt all of him swell larger inside of you with a whimper.

—it was vulnerability.

—he made sure you were touched, palming your erection as he rocked his own into your bud. from the nape of your neck to the hill of your back, he blessed you in the wet of his mouth, battling the sweat that had gathered on your body to see who would claim the vacancy of your body.

—he made sure to make you feel safe, drowning you in affection with his low voice, with the bridge that had constructed between your soul and his as he thrusted deeper, connected into you when he pressed into a spot that had the heavy air memorize every letter of bruce’s name.

—and finally crossed when he filled you with all of his endearment towards you, heavy and thick in combative sequence. he never pulled away in fret of losing the sentiment—in fret of losing you. 

—it was love.

—from then on, bruce was devoted to melt the frost that had shielded you, just as you had melted his.

—because he was going to protect you now.

—the guilt that had been egging the shelter of his heart wilted in the pit of his stomach when he kissed you for the first time.

—and then completely died when you kissed him back. 

—your arms were around his neck, and his were around your waist. you and bruce slow danced to the tune of his favorite song, in the middle of his living room, and so did your lips when he leaned in again.

—it never progressed further than that, despite the ache in bruce’s pants yelling at him to. he wanted to savor every moment with you, in case he happened to chase you away like he did with the others.

—you were special, and bruce held you like the rarest gem on earth for the first time that night.

—again, when he visited you in mornings to drive you to work.

—again, on nights where you were too tired to drive back to your apartment.

—again, after morning meetings were over and every businessmen and women left the vicinity upon the announcement of food catering a few floors down.

—and then again, when bruce’s thoughts had become a reality.

—b-bruce, ngh…

—you reached back to his thigh like in his thoughts, carefully maneuvering and pacing his thrusts into you. your breath stained deep into the cover of his pillow when bruce applied his weight into you, fitting his broad body to the dip of your back.

—i got you, hm? —nice and slow…

—his voice tickled your nape, soothing it with chaste kisses when your muscles tensed, and you breathed harder into the pillow when you let his thigh go, freeing him to do as he pleased. the warmth of your breath fogged your skin as his girth opened you to a profound feeling you’ve been too intimidated to discover

—faster, please…

—he was humored, not because you were embarrassing like the flush of your skin thought, but because you were still the same person he’d met months ago, appeased by it. you were calmed by an assurance, a kiss to your shoulder then your lips, yet your body only continued to bloom with roses. 

—you’re still so polite even when we’ve done so many things together…

—bruce pressed deeper into you, panting in your ear as he delivered on your timid demands. he knew you now—read you like a book. you were too afraid to ask for anything despite becoming so vulnerable with each other, and he made sure that you were safe with him.

—your requests were silent sans the moans that have escaped, but he heard every single one of them. his hips drove into you harder for a few rhythms, then excruciating slower to coerce a plea out of you—to pull your beautiful moans along with desperation.

—he wanted to hear you, pulling himself completely out of your bud.

—f-fuuuuck, bruce! please—i need you, please.

—more, he needed to hear you want him as much as he’d been wanting you. his arms wrapped around your waist, and his fingers curled over your cock. it provided a friction, a hole for you to press into as his fist was sandwiched between your body and the bed, and you took the opportunity to desperately thrust into it.

—secretly, you’d hope to thrust yourself back onto his cock.

—but again, he knew you; silently observant and logical, and he raised his hips back, avoiding the desperate grinds of your bottom.

—how badly do you need me, hm? —how bad do you want me?

—bruce needed to hear it, to compel a truth to his prophecy. his hand unwrapped around you and you were left desperately grinding into the soft fabric of his sheets with a whine. they were music to his ears, and the drips of his cock dribbled over the curve of your bottom as if they were notes to a stave, to the sound of your torment.

—i-i need you, please…

—he exhaled.

—so bad.

—he gulped.

—so fucking bad…

—he throbbed.

—mister wayne… —please…

—bruce’s two worlds had collided: his previous thoughts of you rocketed into the current with a cloudy explosion, and he succumbed. you looked back at him with glassy orbs, sweat running down the side of your face, and bruce was overwhelmed by the beauty our deepest desires. how quickly it could destroy the barrier that we’ve built, how quickly he could destroy yours and unfurl your vulnerabilities when he finally drove himself back in one long and smooth thrust. 

—f-fuuuuck...

—it was continuous. you wouldn’t admit it, but he knew you preferred being filled like this. he notified the curl of your fingers, clutching at whatever you could to fulfill the aching need to grasp onto something.

—god—

—hard when bruce came down, but slow and affectionate when he pulled out. you felt every thick inch sliding in and out of you. at times, you would purposely tighten in fear of losing bruce, but his thrusts reminded you that you wouldn’t.

—bruce reminded you again when his lips suckled on your shoulder.

—i’m close, (m/n)…

—when his hand stroked your aching cock.

—m-me too…

—and when bruce pushed all of his sweaty weight onto you with one hard thrust.

—shit, shit—

—the boiling feeling in his stomach unfurled inside of you to release his devotion in heavy, white loads. they filled you with heat, spreading thick within you as bruce slowly rocked himself weakly, squeezing every ounce of his love into you until you could feel it yourself.

—bruce—

—your eyes rolled back and you could feel the thick of his cum dripping out of you and down your legs the more he plunged into your hole, and it didn’t take very long for you to come undone yourself. the seam of your mouth kept your moans contained as you blasted bruce’s fist and the sheets with your affection, and it wasn’t until his hand came down to pump you that you exhaled a staggered, breathless groan. the drips came out heavy, sticky, and you rocked into bruce’s fist until they spread themselves thin onto your pelvis, over your cock, and stained deep into the sheets.

—as you both lay breathless, bruce remained on top, puzzled into you as he found comfort in your muscles loosening like the flaccid of your length. he continued playing with your soft flesh, squeezing and spreading the layer of seed that covered his hand, and chuckled when you silently squirmed. 

—not away from him like he’d thought, but back into him.

—because he was your guardian now.

nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works. and if you like this story, please reblog and leave a like!

[woso-dreamzzz]

https://www.tumblr.com/woso-dreamzzz/761089381287313409/i-love-the-whole-tontos-forced-to-marry-into-a?source=share

no bc i can totally imagine this girl just throwing money out to be at Tontos' matches. Eventually the team notice her showing up to both home and away games just screaming Tontos' name. Tontos goes so shy when the team start asking about her

Can totally see Ingrid giving the "Stay safe" talk and Tontos being so embarrassed because she's only been to dinner with the girl once and dont even know what they are yet

The girl's grandfather is so happy to see his granddaughter happy and invests in Tontos, not even Barca, just Tontos. He wants the best for both of them and wants to see Tontos succeed

Okay so I'm having more thoughts because Tontos has a special place in my heart:

Ingrid is actually a little worried about the sudden appearance of a girl at all of their matches especially when it's clear that she's only there for Tontos. Ingrid is so worried that Tontos has gotten a stalker and this girl is just a stranger until she sees them both hug over the barrier at the end of a match

Protective Mapi and Ingrid to the max though because Tontos is practically their kid and they don't want her being taken advantage of by some strange Spanish girl. Only for them to be even more shocked when Tontos introduces them to this girl who is very clearly Norwegian which just means she's spending even more money to get to all of Tontos' games

The grandfather is suddenly investing a lot in Tontos' development and is definitely putting a lot of money into the Norway team. He doesn't really care for sports but has been trying to learn ever since his granddaughter became a fan and putting some money towards the national team is the least he thinks he can do. Specialist staff members, better gym equipment, money towards affording a world class manager

[allfryam]

feeder for president!

Lots of excitement was shared when Frank wheeler was elected as the new president of the United States. He seemed to have great ambitions and an incredible spirit. But just a few months after he was elected, he put a new law into place. Every single American over the age of 18 must consume at least 5000 calories per day or they will be executed. He implanted every single American with a chip in the back of their throat that counted their calories. If the requirement had not been met, it would start leaking a poisonous substance into your system immediately. Effectively killing the person. This wasn’t all though. All gyms and any form of exercise equipment became illegal. Sidewalks were replaced with conveyor belts to prevent people from burning calories. Every year, you are required to gain at least 25 pounds. For every pound over this goal, the government will send a $100 check to your home.

as expected, all hell broke loose. People began rioting and begged for the law to be reversed. The smart people didn’t hesitate to start stuffing their face. Fast food restaurants had their busiest days in years as people frantically raced to consume as many calories as possible. To bring in more customers, McDonald’s released the heart attack burger. It was three burger patties cooked in pure oil and fat, then there was 6 pieces of bacon, loaded fries, a mountain of cheese, and McDonald’s new secret sauce. The burger contained almost 2000 calories and people went nuts for it. Companies removed small drinks and fries and replaced them with xtra large and supersize. A supersized coke was two liters and contained almost 100 calories.

the new system quickly weeded out the protesters and the only people left were obedient, soon to be fatties. Fitness influencers became weight gain influencers. They would give tips and tricks on how to eat more and expand your stomach. New stores began to open where you would pay to be mindlessly fed by one of the employees. You could set a certain amount of calories or a certain amount of time to be stuffed. If you were really desperate, some places carried an item called a lard ball. It had exactly 5000 calories all in the size of a pill. You would take it and immediately feel like you had just stuffed yourself silly at a buffet. It was quite expensive, but for those who could afford it, it was a game changer.

after a couple years with the new law, there wasn’t a person in sight without at least a bit of a belly. Abs were a thing of the past and it was hard for new 18 year olds to let go of theirs. But they obeyed and ate till they passed out. Some people took the $100 a pound rule very seriously. With how easy it was to gain weight, some people could gain over 100 pounds and get tens of thousands of dollars. Desk jobs became popular as no one was fit enough to do much else. Jobs were now required to give multiple snack breaks to employees so they had time to stuff themselves. it was paradise. Bulging bellies in all directions, former abs were memories of the past, countless people racing to shove food down their throats to meet the limit. I think this law may stay in place forever!

[no-psi-nan]

Haha no worries! It's downplayed a lot in the series because it's supposed to be a comedy, but when you start looking more closely at the stuff Kuniharu does, it paints a picture of a terrible father and a bad husband too.

It's been a topic on the blog several times, so I'm sure people can chime in with more evidence, but here's what's off the top of my head...

Raised Kusuke. Nuff said tbh lol.

Kuniharu calls Kusuo a monster multiple times and is almost certainly the reason why Kusuke and Kusuo himself believe that Kusuo is an inhuman freak. This attitude is certainly not coming from Kurumi, and nobody else knew about Kusuo's power. From the beginning of the series, Kusuo genuinely believes he's unable to connect with other human beings, and it's mostly because of this attitude inherited from his father.

Kuniharu is never seen attempting to prevent Kusuke from constantly picking fights with his brother, and only attempting to discipline Kusuo for behavior that Kuniharu considers disrespectful to him. This is mostly a fact by omission, but we do see him belittling Kusuke when the kid obviously already has an inferiority problem.

Kuniharu is one of the worst performers at his job and the first to be let go in the case of a crisis. When he loses his job, he's unable to find any others because his only real skill is shoe-licking. This was a parody chapter though so questionably canon. He's always running late for his job though and we see him trying to make a manga artist rip off Naruto, so honestly it makes sense that he's that bad at his job. The only time he's shown as slightly competent at his job was during a parody chapter too hsfjdlshfks.

However what's definitely canon is that he either doesn't make much money or mis-spends most of it. In an area where Nendo's mom, a single woman, and Satou's family, the exact average family, can afford to live, Kuniharu had to take out an 80 year mortgage to pay for a similarly sized home. For context, most mortgages are for 30 years, 15 if you git gud. Btw, the house was literally a gift from Kusuke, Kuniharu insisted on paying out of manly pride or something. Sir, Kusuke is a freaking billionaire and this is like the only single no-strings-attached genuinely kind thing he's ever done hsfjdlshfks

Completely irresponsible with money: has a huge Valentine's day budget for his wife's gift ($3,000 iirc?) and then spends it all at the bar paying for his coworkers' drinks (the same guys who abuse him at his job and think he's garbage). He also spends huge amounts of money on his model figure collection, and has a whole room of gym equipment he never uses. As a result, Kusuo has a very small allowance and for some reason, his one favorite food (coffee jelly) is not included in the grocery list. Even though Kusuo canonically gets insane rock bottom prices for literally everything that gets bought in the household. How do you fuck up so badly financially that you can't buy your clinically depressed son the one (inexpensive!) thing that brings him joy??

By the way, Kuniharu started dating Kurumi when he was a college student and she was in high school. Kusuke was born like a year after they met, so you can do the math about how little time he spent before knocking her up 😬 They basically had a shotgun wedding. No wonder Kurumi's dad is NOT a fan of Kuniharu...

Literally one of the first chapters is Kuniharu and Kurumi domestic violence but make it funny. They're throwing furniture, Kuniharu is breaking the windows, Kurumi is yeeting her husband, and all this shit is over a single coffee jelly, which again, should be a normal part of the groceries for their household. They constantly bring their son into this drama too, which I'm sure is fantastic for his mental and emotional development btw.

There's a manga exclusive chapter that's a parody, so questionably canon, but in it Kuniharu physically attacks Kusuo multiple times over differences in opinion.

However, it IS canon that Kuniharu takes any opportunity to try to physically harm Kusuo. Ex. Hitting him in the massage episode and trying to step on him when he turns tiny.

Canon tries to redeem him a bit by showing moments where Kusuo is a baby and Kuniharu is trying really hard to make him smile because he wants his baby boy to be happy. Unfortunately that just makes it seem like he tried to be a good father for a bit when Kusuo was a baby, and then as soon as Kusuo's powers developed enough to make him miserable (the time when he needs the MOST familial support!), Kuniharu just gives up, and starts using Kusuo as his personal genie in a bottle. While also trying to fix his own fragile ego by attempting to establish dominance over his son. ????? Get therapy bro.

Canon also shows that Kuniharu's love points for Kusuo are the same as for his wife, however, not even Kuniharu believes that, as he tries to run away to evade it hsfjdlshfks. And even if he does love his son that much, he certainly doesn't show it in any meaningful way, because his literal MIND-READING SON doesn't know that. There are plenty of parents who truly love their kids and still abuse them like hell because they think that's the right thing to do (see Kaido's mom being overly strict because she wants to see him succeed in life), so the love points don't mean much imo.

Kuniharu does dole out a couple of pieces of wisdom (at Kusuo's wrong date birthday party and in the volcano arc) but that really doesn't make up for anything and even his wife thinks he's childish so... 🇫

Kuniharu is definitely funny as a character, and like I said, most of this requires digging into canon a little more, but once you start looking, it becomes clear that Kuniharu is just not a good person, father, or husband.

Like, I totally get that having a genius and a god as your kids would not be easy for any parent, but Kuniharu really doesn't try to make life better for either of his sons, preferring to get into petty squabbles with his wife and play video games/build models the rest of the time. I'm not saying dads can't have hobbies, but the only times we see him spending time with Kusuo is usually when he's begging for a favor, and he also clearly does zero housework whatsoever, so...

Anyways, I think Kurumi deserves a better husband and Kusuo deserves a better parent (or at least a break from being used as a magical favor vending machine lol) so I often joke on here that Kurumi should get a divorce and run polls about who she should marry instead and such!

Hope this helps! 👍🏾 Thanks for the question!

[octuscle]

Magic Wig

Bad Taste Party. My God, that kind of thing happened at best in the frat house 20 years ago. But this is a 40th birthday. Shouldn't you be over those kinds of parties by then. Well, it's a colleague you're competing with for a promotion. If you don't let yourself be seen there, it's only negative for you in case of doubt.

On the weekend, you rummaged through your parents' closets. And you found a really ugly old tracksuit. On the internet you ordered a mullet wig and a chav hip bag from magictransformations.com. The address was on the invitation card as a recommendation. You should be sufficiently well equipped.

The evening of the party has come. You look really ridiculous in those clothes. But for a bad taste party perfectly appropriate. And somehow you feel damn cool with the hairstyle. Hehehehe, how long would it take to grow such a hair mat? Normally you would call a cab now. But the way you look, you better take the bus. Apparently you seem authentic. The bus driver takes a particularly critical look at your ticket. And the seat next to you remains free. That you massage your cock in the bus is also really exaggerated. But fuck, it feels just awesome. And somehow also bigger than usual.

From the bus stop to the house of your colleague are only a few steps. Pretty posh residential area. You couldn't afford it on your salary. Either he has a well-off wife… Or he has inherited. No matter, you begrudge him, as long as you get the promotion. The entrance area of the house does not necessarily look like Bad Taste. The path is lit with torches. From the brightly lit house comes music from the 80s. Then let's get into the hustle and bustle. You ring the bell. The wife of your boss was probably closest to the door and opens. In a black evening dress. Could she help you? Your boss steps in. Recognizes you. And starts to laugh uproariously. Whether you might be at the wrong party. To his knowledge, the dress code was BT. He waves your colleague over. An alley of people forms, who stare at you. Your colleague arrives grinning with a glass of champagne in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. He hands you the beer and asks if you can take a little joke with the invitation. You can't and at least want to tear the ridiculous wig off your head. But you can't. It's on like glue. As if grown on. You turn around in horror and leave the property amidst the laughter of the guests.

Completely confused, you walk to the bus stop. You search in your hip bag for your wallet. But this is not your wallet. It's a cheap piece of rough fabric. And there are no more gold credit cards in it. It's just a Visa card. And your ID, your driver's license. And a gym card. That's you in the photo. But your neck is thicker than your head. And your mullet falls luxuriantly over your shoulders. At least your address seems to be correct. Your front door key still fits, too. But there are three names on your doorbell. And on the mailbox. You go up the stairs. In the hallway in front of your apartment door leans a fat mountain bike. And from the apartment you hear loud moaning. You have to grin. Zac just can't stop himself from pumping. It's the same for you. The neighbors have already complained about that. That's why you don't work out at home anymore. Gym is still open for two hours. That would still be worthwhile. You unlock the apartment door. Zac is lying on the weight bench in the former living room, covered in sweat. You greet him with a fist bump and ask if he wants to come to the gym with you. He stands up and takes a big sip of his protein shake. He farts, laughs and says that he has a date with a chick. He's out for the day. But Bryan should still be at the gym. That would be great, that you have a workout partner. And you can go out for a steak or something afterwards.

You also prepare a protein shake, pack your stuff and go on your way. For a Saturday night, the gym is pleasantly empty. You like that. No stupid looks when you drop the dumbbells. Bryan is doing his shoulder workout. You're with him.

Good workout. Tomorrow, chest and back. Maybe arms. And then you're ready for another week as a shift worker on the assembly line. Let's see if your promotion works out this year.

[stillness-in-green]

On Heteromorphs and Heteromorphobia (Arc XV - My Villain Academia)

(Skewing away from the wiki arc titles here, because come the eff on; everyone on god's green earth calls this My Villain Academia, not "The Meta Liberation Army Arc.")

At the request of a kind asker, I'm trying something different with footnotes this time; you'll find them at the end of the relevant bullet point, rather than at the bottom of the post. I've also flagged the numbers in purple, though I left the text itself the default color. I hope people find that a little easier to handle than having to scroll all the way to the bottom, have two tabs open, or wait until the end when they've forgotten the context.

Content Warning: Mentions of the KKK, as well as anti-Korean hate crimes/speech in Japan.

The My Villain Academia Arc (Chapters 218-240)

Chapter 218: 

Tsuyu’s weakness to cold is noted in-canon, rather than in a volume extra profile.   

All of the people featured specifically in the Detnerat commercial are heteromorphs—a four-armed woman, a walrus gent, and a little gelatinous boy.  Re-Destro pontificates about how people with these “newer types of bodies” struggled in the new era because they couldn’t find products that would meet their daily needs; mass production was not equipped—could never really be equipped—to handle the endless variety of body shapes and sizes that came about due to the Advent of the Extraordinary.  It recollects the mall scene back in Chapter 68—or, even further back, Ojiro’s character sheet and UA’s lack of varied desks—and calls the reader to consider, once again, the sorts of special needs that those with heteromorphic bodies might have, and how difficult it can be to meet those needs.    RD says that his company’s ability to rapidly customize and produce unique goods for every customer has made them #1 in their industry (lifestyle goods).  Assuming there’s at least some truth to the commercial shpiel—and the newscaster does at least call Detnerat “a big player”—it suggests that plenty of other companies are not so good at the rapid+customizable combination.  Of course, not all companies are trying to be all things to all people, but specialization costs money—as do speed and customization, really, and note that nowhere in the commercial is there a talking point about affordability!  So mainly what the commercial leaves me wondering is what degree of inconvenience is still felt by heteromorphs, especially those who are somewhat cash-strapped.    That strikes me as a particular hazard when it comes to child bullying.  Of course, Japanese schools have uniforms, but I wonder how available tailoring and alterations are for students with particular needs?  Is there a provided budget for that sort of thing?  Financial aid?  How much did Ojiro’s parents have to pay for him to have a full set of uniform pants with a hole for his tail in them?  How about Shouji getting all his uniform tops made sleeveless?  What arrangements had to be made for Shouto’s gym uniform to be fire retardant?    Even setting uniforms aside, there are also their social lives outside of school to consider.  Kids will absolutely notice when one of their number wears the same clothes all the time, or home-made clothes instead of name brand, or with obvious patchwork and repair.  As in real life, it’s at the intersections of more than one type of disadvantage—in this case, a heteromorphic body combined with a low-income family—that problems become more likely.

Here in 218, almost fifty chapters after the first mention of them, we finally get the proper introduction and explanation of the Meta Liberation Army.  Of course, they aren’t heteromorph-specific—the closest any of the named commander-types in RD’s inner circle get is Curious, with her bright blue skin and black sclera,[1] though certainly Re-Destro himself has drifted somewhat away from baseline compared to his ancestor.  Regardless, their foundational belief is the deregulation of quirks, stemming from a time when any deviation from the norm made meta-humans targets.  The compromise society reached—that quirks require a license to use—is restricting enough on those whose abilities are found with a baseline body, but, as I’ve brought up before, it makes life even more potentially fraught for heteromorphs.  That kind of thing is basically a pre-written excuse for heroes or police to stop and harass a heteromorph they don’t like the look of!  And while the evidence of that kind of bias has been pretty circumstantial thus far, it’s about to get way, way less so.    [1] Wacky hair colors being somewhat de rigueur in anime, we’ll give her a pass on the purple hair.

   Chapter 220: 

Here we finally hit the major leagues: the Creature Rejection Clan, or CRC.  The Japanese is igyou haiseki shugi shuudan, with igyou and shuudan being pretty straightforward—igyou is, of course, “heteromorph,” and shuudan is any sort of organized or self-identifying group of people, anything from a family unit to a business organization, even all the way up to a nation.  Haiseki shugi is the important bit, with shugi meaning “doctrine; principle” and haiseki meaning “rejection; expulsion; boycott; ostracism.”  Thus, “group whose doctrine is the rejection of heteromorphs.”[2]    Note that, in the Japanese, the word in the group’s name is heteromorph; they didn’t pick something more insulting or derogatory.  They didn’t really need to, since igyou is, as discussed back in the introduction to this piece, plenty derogatory all on its own.  So Caleb Cook went with a translation of igyou that would better get that derisiveness-in-the-context-of-a-hate-group across than his choice way back in Chapter 14.  Creature Rejection Clan is a fairly localized translation, but Cook was pretty frank in his Twitter thread on the chapter that he was thinking about the KKK when he made the decision.    And it’s not an unwarranted comparison!  Of course, I wouldn’t think to presume Horikoshi’s that up on the history of racism in the U.S., but combine the cod-religious trappings and the full robes and hoods with an explicit textual description of hate crimes, and it’s an extremely easy parallel to draw. [2] The Japanese also gives the abbreviation of CRC, with the databook eventually coming out and revealing that it really stands for the name they’ve chosen for themselves in English, the Curious Rejection Committee.

That established, it’s notable that Spinner, in describing them, says that they commit hate crimes against “people with heteromorphic quirks”—a nearly word-for-word translation of the Japanese igyou-gata no ningen.  This leaves aside the idea I’ve spent so much time talking about, that heteromorph discrimination is aimed broadly at those with heteromorphic bodies, and not only those with the more narrowly defined heteromorphic quirks.  Shortly, however, I’ll cover some evidence that Spinner is over-generalizing, or just misinformed.

In the meantime, take note of a few things the CRC guys[3] actually say here, starting with the fact that they call Spinner a lizard. Instantly, a word that was previously a snippy and dismissive little shrug in Dabi’s mouth takes on the weight and ugliness of a slur.    Further, they call the League of Villains “sins against nature”—or, in a more literal translation, “impure criminals.”  I provide the more literal translation there because it’s more specific.  My immediate question of the English translation would be whether the CRC judge the League as being sins against nature simply because of their criminality, or because of their association with Spinner, but the Japanese makes clear that there are two separate labels being flung there: the League are both criminals and impure.    This idea of impurity brings in a religious dimension to heteromorphobia, a dimension heightened by the line (dropped by the English translation) in which the CRC accuses the League of invading a sanctuary—in Shinto, shrines have to be kept pure.  The CRC calling their hideout a sanctuary, with the added context of, “They have a lizard with them.  How disgusting,” thus makes it pretty clear that the impurity is about Spinner’s presence, not just the League’s assorted crimes.  This spiritualistic justification for bigotry will later be made even more explicit in Shouji’s flashbacks.    [3] With skull masks right there on their hoods!  A real, “Are we the baddies?” moment, but given some of the other things we get on them later, it's possible the skulls are meant to contrast what e.g. Spinner or Koda’s skulls might look like: baseline human versus animalistic or “misshapen.” Credit to @codenamesazanka for connecting the dots on that!

Spinner also gives us here the line that I covered back in the terminology section at the beginning:

We’ll go with the official version this time.

So here we have the observation that the word absolutely everyone uses, the word that, as far as we know, academically defines an entire category of quirks, is an unpleasant, even rude word.  But what is the alternative?  We’re never given one.  Indeed, Spinner doesn’t suggest one; he says that the nice thing to do is “avoid” the word instead.  In other words, talk around it.  See again what I said at the start about all the difficulties baked into that prospect.

Later, we get the first drops of Spinner’s backstory, and hit again on the “lizard” thing, with the note that Spinner’s backwater, stuck-in-the-last-century hometown called him “the lizard freak.”  He grew up with it, grew accustomed to it, thought there was nothing he could do to change it—he might even have internalized it somewhat, though clearly by the time Chapter 160 rolled around he was ornery enough about it to complain.    It's perhaps also notable that Spinner knows who the CRC are.  Though we’ll later find out that their numbers have hugely diminished, he not only recognizes them, he’s not even surprised to see them—unlike many, Spinner knows the CRC never truly went away.  (Compare his lack of reaction to, for example, Shouji's unsuspecting classmates, who will later be shocked, just shocked, that this kind of ugliness still exists in their country.)    So just to state the obvious here, yes, the presence of active hate groups does irrevocably shift the lens on everything we’ve seen up to this point.  You can’t say calling a heteromorph an animal is harmless, a little insensitive at worst, maybe even meant as a cute nickname, when that same language is used by openly violent bigots.

The volume version gives us, at the end of the chapter, further notes on the CRC.  It’s full of relevant tidbits, so I’ll provide the text in its entirety:

Once superpowered society grew more stable and less chaotic, this group emerged, based around a lack of acceptance for those with body-altering quirks.  They started out with demonstrations and protests but eventually started committing violent hate crimes.  Most felt this was taking things too far, so the group saw a sharp decline in membership and a scattering of factions.  These days, one faction might only reject people with animal properties, while another focuses its hate on people with irregular heads.  These two, among others, have very few members left.  The faction that Tomura and the villains attacked was one that stood by the original group's fundamental tenets.

So what is there to gather from this?  Let’s break it down a point at a time.

“Once superpowered society grew more stable (...)”    If you’ve ever lived through a time of increasing acceptance for a marginalized group, particularly if that acceptance involves measures for legal protections being passed, you’ll recognize what this is.  Just to pick a few U.S. examples, the KKK didn’t exist until after the Civil War;[4] proactive federal bans on same-sex marriages didn’t start getting passed/proposed until individual U.S. states started legalizing them and civil unions.  When opposition to something is the norm, said opposition often doesn’t start organizing until they see that status quo being threatened; they weren’t organized before because they never imagined they’d need to be!  That’s what we see with the CRC: they didn’t formally declare themselves until it started looking like quirks—and especially non-baseline quirks—were going to find legal acceptance.    [4] Literally.  The last day of the war was May 26, 1865; the date the first Klan was founded was December 24 of the same year. Easily the most vile thing I learned in the process of writing this piece.   

“(…) based around a lack of acceptance for those with body-altering quirks.”   This is what I was referring to when I said Spinner's characterization of the CRC might be a little bit off: the CRC wasn’t founded because of a hatred for specifically heteromorphic quirks; they were founded because of a hatred for different bodies, a descriptor that could also apply to those with transformation-style quirks!  Those, too, are quirks that alter bodies, after all; it’s just possible for people to turn them off, which is not the case for those with heteromorphic quirks.  So Spinner was not quite on the mark before.    Further, note that the phrase “body-altering quirks” is used here—a phrase that’s similar in meaning and much less othering than igyou.  It doesn’t fully cover everything I use “heteromorphic” and “non-baseline” to cover, in that it’s still murky in situations like e.g. Cementoss’s, where his emitter quirk is entirely independent of his oddly shaped head, but it’s still a useful term!  Except for the small complication of where it isn’t found: anywhere in the actual story.  The fact that Horikoshi uses it in an author’s note, but it comes up nowhere in BNHA proper, puts it in an unclear place as far as in-universe alternatives go.  Has it just not come up because Horikoshi hasn’t thought to include it?  Or has it not come up because it’s not a phrase people in-universe use?

“They started out with demonstrations and protests but eventually started committing violent hate crimes.  Most felt this was taking things too far, so the group saw a sharp decline in membership and a scattering of factions.”    Confirmation here of what Spinner said about the CRC and hate crimes, but note what this doesn’t say: that the CRC was outlawed.  There are, I suspect, a couple of factors influencing that.   o Firstly, while Japan has legal methods to restrict undesirable organizations,[5] making it difficult for them to raise funds or engage in publicity, the country doesn’t actually de facto criminalize membership in such organizations.  That distinction is part of the legacy of violent crackdowns on labor groups and protest movements in the first half of the 20th century; people tend to get very loud about anything that whiffs of the government trying to give itself the power to get that heavy-handed again.    Assuming that the laws haven’t changed overmuch in HeroAca!Japan, then, I wouldn’t expect membership in the CRC to have been criminalized outright, but the volume extra doesn’t mention any kind of legal repercussions at all.  That, I think, may go more to my next point.    [5] The relevant laws are aimed mostly at terroristic groups or organized crime.      o Secondly, another thing Japan has very, very little of is hate crime legislation.  From my research, there are only two laws of any note: a federal law passed in 2016 and widely regarded as toothless thanks to it lacking any criminal provisions targeting offenders,[6] as well as a local ordinance passed in Kawasaki in 2019 that went as far as mandating fines against repeat offenders, among other measures.[7] [6] It required the government to start “implementing measures” to eliminate such speech/behaviors, as well as to “respond to requests for consultation” from victims, but did not directly mandate consequences for offenders. [7] I suspect from some of what I read that Osaka has picked up a similar ordinance, but I didn’t find anything detailing it specifically.  Osaka and Kawasaki are home to the largest and second-largest population of Koreans living in Japan. One major thing neither of these measures did, though—and something activists have been pressing for—is to establish standards for considering discriminatory motivations when issuing sentences against those who have committed violent crimes.  To pick an example that made the news last year, a man committed arson out of openly admitted hatred for the Koreans he targeted, but nowhere in the trial or discussion of his sentence did the prosecution ever bring up discrimination.[8]    [8] https://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20220829/p2a/00m/0na/015000c    Also, it’s worth noting that both of these measures were aimed at ethnic discrimination—speech and behavior targeting people living in Japan while being themselves, or being children of, people of non-Japanese ethnicities.  They did not address discrimination based on e.g. religion or sexuality.    Folding both of those points together, the image we have of the CRC is of a violent hate group whose existence is regarded as perhaps distasteful and extremist, but not actually illegal.  Even what few laws Japan has now wouldn’t have applied to anti-heteromorph discrimination, because, while they may look wildly different from a prototypical Japanese person, heteromorphs still are Japanese, and therefore not protected by a law based solely around ethnic discrimination.    Incidentally, the ordinance in Kawasaki laid out a number of specific examples of the kind of behavior it was looking to address, and one of those examples was likening victims to something other than human.  I know why that was included in the context of anti-Korean sentiments,[9] but it certainly does shade e.g. Dabi calling Spinner a lizard more harshly to know that there’s legal precedent for categorizing such dehumanizing language as hate speech.    [9] An extremely common form of anti-Korean hate speech in Japan is to refer/allude to Koreans as cockroaches.

“These days, one faction might only reject people with animal properties, while another focuses its hate on people with irregular heads.”     This is a good echo of the sort of factionalization you see in organized religion, wherein the minutiae of tenets that seem similar to an outside eye are the topic of vicious, vehement inter-group debate. More to the point, however, it provides an excellent illustration of the senselessness of bigotry.  They can’t even keep their own discriminatory dogma straight!    Probably the second most common complaint about the story’s use of heteromorphobia—after calling it retconned-in bullshit that didn’t exist until Chapter 220—is that it’s illogical, that it makes no sense to judge people because they look a little different in a world where everyone is now a little different from the way we see the world.    And I wonder if the people who say that are listening to what they’re saying.  “Illogical bias that has no foundation in reality is unrealistic?”  What do these people think bigotry is?  Racism, sexism, xenophobia, ableism, religious discrimination, all the many different shades of queerphobia: all of these are built on foundations of fear and hate for people who are fundamentally still as human as anyone else, yet they all exist, and have existed, and will go on existing for quite some many years still.  Because irrational hatreds are, by definition, irrational.  Heteromorphic discrimination is the most realistic societal dynamic in the entire series! That little rant aside, I also want to highlight the first group in the excerpt above—people with animal properties.  Check any talk on the theme of, “So you can believe dragons but not black people in fantasy?” and you’ll run into the ways people are much more ready to suspend their disbelief for full-on fantasy than for something that, rightly or wrongly, pings them as incorrect, and it’s easy to imagine animal-associated heteromorphs running into a similar issue: it’s fine for people to just look weird, but looking like an animal, that’s bad and unnatural.  A heteromorph who just looks like nothing in particular other than “non-baseline” is not evoking the baggage of animal anthropomorphization and cultural animal symbolism that someone who looks like a bird, a lizard, a dog, an orca, etc. is.   

Chapter 223: 

Shigaraki refers to Gigantomachia as a gorilla.  It’s debatable how much this is of a piece with Dabi calling Spinner “Lizard”—Machia’s only actual animal quirk is Mole, not anything simian, nor is Machia particularly ape-like in anything other than his large size—but it does stand out to me that Spinner, who we know to have strong opinions about animal epithets, just refers to Machia by name or as “the big guy.”

Chapter 224: 

Mr. Compress calls Machia “our pet gorilla”; see note above.

Chapter 226: 

Curious introduces the idea of quirk counselling, telling us that its goal is to align people to a unified understanding of how the world and society work, but that it’s flawed in that it winds up emphasizing peoples’ differences instead.  The advisor at the hospital raid will include quirk counseling in his litany of grievances, so I’ll discuss its possible utilization against heteromorphs more there, but for now, recall that I talked previously about how quirk-based behavioral tics might vary from person to person by comparing Hound Dog with Sansa.  With that in mind, it’s not a big reach that some heteromorphs might run into similar problems with quirk counselling.   

There are a good number of what appear to be heteromorphs through the Curious fight; whatever the MLA’s core views on quirk supremacy, the organization self-evidently makes ample room for heteromorphs, even if, like e.g. the red panda guy in the crowd jumping Toga inside the noodle joint, they don’t seem to have any other stand-out powers beyond the fur and fangs.   

Chapter 229: 

Twice notes in his flashback that something about his eyes always rubbed people the wrong way, scared them.  We’ll eventually see this same thing with Tenko on the street—a totally normal-looking child, but the look on his face scares people away even more than the blood.  And I can’t help but think, “If even a totally baseline person’s eyes can creep people out, how much easier—and more extreme—is that reaction for the more out-there sort of heteromorph?”   

Gori makes the tiniest of cameos in Twice’s flashback, playing backup off to the side when we will, in current times, find him having worked his way up to the interrogation chair himself.   

Chapter 230: 

Geten brings us quirk supremacy via his understanding of the MLA’s goals.  It’s hard to say how accurate this is, since the MLA leadership is inconsistent on what exactly their vision of Liberation entails.  Whatever it is, it certainly doesn’t seem to dissuade the MLA’s own heteromorphs, though of course there’s a big difference between how e.g. Spinner or Ojiro versus Gang Orca or Mirko would fare in a societal quirk free-for-all.  Likewise, the MLA is a cult, so one can’t discount the likelihood of double-think in its members.   

Chapter 232:

Re-Destro talks about the state of the country in Destro’s infancy, a period in which metahumans suffered “constant abuse—blatant discrimination.”  Merely for speaking out that her child was just like everyone else—that his special power was just a quirk—Destro’s mother was killed by an anti-meta mob.  This gives us further evidence of the violence metahumans faced.  Of course, in that time, the hate wasn’t distinguishing between types of quirk, but with that being said, an emitter and a transformer can still hide the truth about themselves with far more ease than heteromorphs—recall All Might’s discussion about the early days of quirks back in Chapter 59, in which the panel showing four people with quirks contained only one baseline person.  It would be entirely unsurprising for an outsized number of the metahumans killed in those days to be heteromorphs.

Chapter 233: 

The confrontation between Trumpet and Spinner gives us Trumpet clucking about Spinner having a weak meta-ability—Gecko lets him cling to walls, and that’s about it.  It’s a striking contrast to someone like Mirko or Gang Orca, or even Tsuyu, all of whom have some combination of big power moves and a veritable fleet of sub-abilities.  We can see the way Hero Society prizes powerful, flexible quirks in this.  Having a strong quirk can help overcome the societal bias about heteromorphs, but if you’re stuck with a weak quirk and a weird face, you lack that metaphorical ticket out.[10]    [10] Incidentally, the fandom reflected some of that attitude as well.  There was a widespread assumption that Spinner’s quirk would be really useful or situationally powerful, otherwise why would Horikoshi have hidden it for as long as he did?  Then, after the reveal, there was a certain amount of complaining that Spinner was useless to the League, and why even bother with him?  Sometimes, life imitates art in some very unflattering ways.

Trumpet brings up that Spinner was a recluse, “mocked and pilloried,” and we see Spinner in his hikikomori days.  What we’ve gotten on Spinner up to this point suggests that the abuse he endured was mostly verbal, though one can imagine it was pretty rough when he was young enough to be the target of school bullies.  There’s a certain amount of temptation to minimize that in comparison to his response: most people who are bullied or targeted by discrimination don’t grow up to become terrorists.  But there was, we will eventually find, more visceral stuff going on—and parts of the country that were even worse than Spinner’s hometown.

Spinner spent most of his life trying to fit himself into the world around him; his strongest parallel in the League in this regard is Toga, as they were the two that held themselves back, let the world define what they were and how they should act, right up until they saw something that caused them to snap.[11]  Trumpet tries to do much the same to Spinner here (albeit probably less as an intentional psychological attack than Skeptic’s attempts on Twice), but Spinner, like Toga, is long past the point where he would swallow that abuse without fighting back.  When you tell someone they are something long enough, they eventually start to believe it—but if you aren’t careful, they’ll start to embrace it, at which point those weaponized words change hands.    [11] Shigaraki and Dabi, by contrast, pushed back harder, trying to get the world to accept them and never accepting it when their families (and particularly their fathers) told them to stop.  Twice was ejected without getting the chance to try to contort himself into a shape that fit the world, whereas Mr. Compress seems to have been raised to reject his society's accepted norms from the start.   

Chapter 234:

We see an image excerpted from Quirks and Us, a children’s book published by Curious’s outfit, that exhorts the reader not to judge people by their quirks.  It really, really begs the question, “If this is what’s being said in literature published to coax people towards anti-suppression radicalism, what on Earth is normal society saying?”    Regardless of that absolutely wild disparity, though, the fact that there are children’s books being published about quirk bias being wrong suggests that the world very much does have a problem with quirk bias.  Indeed, that much has been shown throughout the series, not merely in terms of anti-heteromorph bias, but also the bias against “villain quirks,” as well as the widespread idea that people with weak quirks—or no quirks at all—are weaker people overall, pitiable folk who lack the power to live their fullest lives or pursue their dreams unhindered.[12]    People on more than one of these axes of discrimination will, as in real life, be more likely to experience discrimination and violence. [12] Villains like All For One and Geten may say it more loudly, but it’s not only villains who believe it—perfectly good-hearted people like All Might and Midoriya Inko fall into that trap as well.   

Chapter 237: 

Nothing much to say about Shigaraki’s flashbacks save to note that, if people won’t stop to help a lost and bloodied (and baseline) child, they sure as hell won’t intervene in anti-heteromorph bullying.  Recall that Kirishima was accused of sticking his nose where it didn’t belong for trying!

-----

Thanks as ever for reading along, everyone! How was the new footnote format? Should I keep that up for lengthy meta going forward?

I was kind of expecting to be able to wrap this up (the main canon, at least) in one more post, but I underestimated the amount of writing I'd be doing for the first war arc. For next time, then, I'm looking to cover the Endeavor Agency, Paranormal Liberation War, and Dark Hero Villain Hunt arcs. See you all then!

[slavicafire]

żmija i have a possibly slightly stupid question: how did you start working out? i genuinely enjoy physical exercise and i want to gain some practical strength, have more fun with life and get into the habit of exercising regularly before i go on testosterone but i never know how to start and because of that im scared about doing the exercises wrong and hurting myself in the process. should i just sign up for a gym and try my best?

nothing stupid about this question at all, worry not. the main question you need to ask yourself is simply: what do I enjoy? what do I like doing, what feels good?

there's nothing worse than a workout that feels like a chore, that frustrates you, one that you'd rather not do. there will be, of course, days when your usual beloved exercise will loom over you and the very thought of doing it will annoy you, but those are - and should be - a minority. life's too short to commit to something unpleasant.

for me the answer to this question was that I like swimming - and that I like challenging myself in a way that doesn't bore me.

I hate routine. I hate repetition, I hate predictability, I hate plans and having to do something in a very set way at very set times. while working out of course necessitates a certain level of compromise when it comes to this, at the core of my approach lies switching it up and combining things when they can be combined so that they feel less boring.

so I go swimming when I can, that's simple. then I get some simple exercises I can do at home in - ones I hate on their own because they bore me, like sit-ups and pushups and all other sorts of ups and downs and outs and arounds - while there are other boring yet necessary things happening. so when I wait for the pasta to boil, for example. or when I floss, or when I wait for the hair rinse to cool down or for the lotion to get absorbed by my skin, or when I want to clean the litter box but urwis decides he absolutely must poop and play archeologist at that very moment. the idea is to make it less boring and to get a lot of movement throughout the day, even if in very short sessions.

and yes, if you can afford it, absolutely start going to the gym. this is again an answer to the boredom and routine problem that I had: going to the gym is already a separate event, a nearly ritual moment that requires different clothes, a different mindset, a different dedicated space that you enter and then leave. and you can make it even more fun by choosing a different playlist or podcast each time and getting yourself a small treat on the way to or from.

with gym equipment, if it doesn't have instructions on it (many machines will have those) and you don't feel like asking people how to use it (who amongst us likes to do that, really) it's simply a matter of a quick google check. even googling 'gym machines' will give you multiple answers and explanations on what's what, how to use it, which muscles are getting engaged, and what to look out for. leave the dumbbells and benches alone for now - focus on machines which let you choose weights and have your back when you suddenly feel dizzy or overestimate your strength. most of them will make a horrible noise if you give up suddenly half rep - but won't hurt you.

then just get on a machine of your choice and choose the lowest possible weight. it might feel silly sometimes, especially if you're a bit stronger on your own and the lowest weight doesn't feel like anything - but try a couple of reps with that lowest weight, especially if it's your first time using the machine. pay attention to how your muscles feel, how your breathing changes, how the tension works when you engage and when you return to the starting position. go slow, be mindful of your body, look at the muscles getting engaged if you're able to.

on your first visit, try out two or three machines. don't go wild, stay on the lowest weights - go home, sleep on it, check how you feel tomorrow. sometimes 30-40 reps of the lowest lowest weights on a machine that engages muscles you don't usually use too much will leave you absolutely sore.

check different machines out, switch them up, see which ones are fun and which ones engage the muscles you'd like to focus on. add a bit more weight next time. sort them into categories of your choice and divide your workouts between them.

take a friend if you can, it's always less awkward. bring water with you. eat! always remember to eat! take a closer look at your protein intake and adjust it if it's too low - your muscles will thank you.

and if it truly starts feeling tedious - change it. look for something else. this is something that you should enjoy, in whichever meaning of the word that you personally prefer. and best of luck!

[youcouldmakealife]

LBTE: Jared (149-150)

In which Jared is the last to find out about his sister's new boyfriend, and he takes it just as calmly as you'd expect.

If you would like to follow along the series page is here.

“Um,” Jared says, when he opens the front door of their apartment to find Bryce beaming right at him.

Like, right at him. Like if Jared had swung open the door without paying attention he might have smacked Bryce right in his beautiful face.

Literally ran to the door like a puppy hearing its human come home.

“I’m allowed to train again!” Bryce says.

“Like,” Jared says. “Very carefully?”

“Very carefully,” Bryce confirms, and then, as if he’s trying to completely undermine Jared’s confidence that he’ll take that advice seriously, bolts into the living room at high speed.

A puppy with the zoomies.

Jared catches “—sorry, had to tell Jared—“, which he thinks means Bryce literally dropped everything to tell him, everything presumably being a call with Elaine. Though it could be someone else, Jared supposes. Theoretically.

“—love you too, mom,” Bryce says, then reappears so quickly Jared thinks he bolted right back.

Zoom zoom. (To no one’s surprise, he did — albeit with ‘one sec I think Jared’s home’ first. Elaine didn’t mind)

“Come on!” Bryce says, and that’s how Jared caps off an entire day at the gym by going to another, closer gym, and trying not to helicopter husband, partly because they’re in public, and partly because Bryce might bite his head off if he gets between him and the equipment after a long absence.

Relationship with Jared over, now gym equipment is Bryce’s best friend.

Jared says nothing, even when a piece of penne lands on the carpet. Bryce is too happy about all the complaining he’s doing to deflate him. And it’s not like Jared’s worried Bryce is going to go hungry.

He does, however, make Bryce clean the pasta up, because if he didn’t he’s pretty sure Bryce would literally not even notice it was there. He has to do it again himself after Bryce does a half-assed job and then puts his nose right in his phone. Thank fuck it wasn’t a tomato based sauce or their carpet would be toast. Why do they even have a carpet? They’re clearly not responsible enough for one.

Seriously, carpet should have disqualified the place.

“Uh, J?” Bryce says. “You might want to check twitter?”

“Signing?” Jared asks on his way back from the kitchen. It’s getting around that time where some of the stragglers realise a contract-less season is imminent and take whatever offers are still available. That or teams realise they’re missing a key piece of the picture and start looking into what’s available and affordable. “Trade?”

“Um,” Bryce says, his whole body a wince, which is — concerning. “Just look?”

No fucking way Bryce is telling him, you can’t make him.

“Did they trade Gabe?” Jared asks.

They can’t trade Gabe. Gabe’s franchise, one of only two players from that Cup season still on the Canucks. He’s a fan favourite, and a sizeable contingent of their younger fans don’t remember a team without him. It’s pretty much an open secret he wants to spend his entire career in Vancouver, and that’s mutual. Also Stephen would fight management. Possibly literally.

Also Jared would be sad, so clearly it’s not allowed.

It has to be someone on the team who means more to Jared than they do to Bryce, considering it’s something Bryce thinks Jared needs to see for himself, which leaves Gabe and —

Literally it’s just Gabe.

Also Stephen, but Jared’s pretty sure Brian can’t trade him.

“Nobody’s traded!” Bryce says. “Just. You need to see it? Instead of me telling you about it?”

Not for a million dollars will Bryce tell him.

If people on the internet are talking about how hot they think Jared’s dad is again, he swears to god —

One of my favourite subplots that doesn’t make the main narrative — Don the DILF.

“Erin’s trending again,” Bryce says.

Jared’s sister trending on twitter is really not something that Jared expected to happen twice. Like, even in a big Canadian market, that’s getting slightly absurd for a the sister of a middle-six forward.

Imagine how she feels. (She again thinks it’s funny)

Bryce gently kicks him in the shin. “You might want to look it up.”

“No thanks,” Jared says.

Bryce kicks him again. “Seriously, though.”

“If I do will you stop kicking me?” Jared asks.

“Yeah,” Bryce says.

Please look this up out of your own volition so you won’t shoot Bryce Marcus, Messenger.

“J,” Bryce says. “He’s clearly not going to pick up.”

Jared hits ‘end’ and then ‘call’ for the fourth time.

Surely he will pick up the fourth time you call to yell at him.

“Maybe just leave a message?” Bryce suggests weakly.

“Are you fucking my sister?” Jared asks when the operator’s finished telling him the number he has dialled is currently unavailable, because Julius couldn’t even be bothered to set his voicemail message after literal years in Canada. “And pick up your fucking phone, Halla, I swear to god.”

Bryce regrets his suggestion.

“What,” he says.

“He’s probably not going to want to call you back?” Bryce says. “If you sound like that?”

“Nobody cares what Julius wants!” Jared says.

“Um,” Bryce says. “Are you — okay?”

Bryce increasingly realising Jared was completely blindsided by this and mentally rewinding to every time he thought Jared was just ignoring the relationship out of pettiness.

“You knew about this,” Jared says with dawning realisation.

Bryce looks shifty.

“You knew,” Jared says. “And you let me find out from twitter.”

“I didn’t know know,” Bryce says.

They have not been formally told, but nobody has been hiding this from them. See: several parts ago, when Erin was visiting a friend in Edmonton (nobody told Jared it was a university friend, as he stated, Jared just assumed it must be because he knows Erin didn’t keep in touch with anyone from high school or earlier. Neither Matheson sibling is a big friend maker)

“Jared,” Bryce says, then, from the other side of a slammed door, “Hey, that’s my room!”

Jared is sulking, so by all rights the sulking room now belongs to him.

He’d ask if the picture was misinterpreted, like it was with Bryce, but there really aren’t that many interpretations for a kiss. Sure, some cultures greet one another with kisses, but as far as Jared is aware, the Finns are not one of them, and neither are the Mathesons.

Ah yes, the famed Matheson culture. Signs of affection are ribbing, mockery, and snide.

And even if a kiss on the mouth was a Finnish greeting, it’d be one Julius would pointedly not do. Julius doesn’t like participating in things.

This is so accurate but hilarious from Jared because it’s one of the reasons they get along so well.

He’s not your liney anymore. Erin replies. P sure both your current lineys are already taken.

Also he’s literally on a rival team now? That’s like the anti-liney.

Ene-liney.

So you’re not denying it. Jared texts. He originally ended the text an exclamation mark, but that looked too dramatic. He’s fine. He’s chill.

So you’re not denying it!

Is this a thing? Jared writes, after deleting the two extra question marks that somehow popped up.

Is this a thing???

How long has this been a thing? Jared asks.

Officially? Like two weeks.

Before this there was some hanging out. But the euphemism-y kind of hanging out. And some texting while Julius was away. But Julius came back from Finland early, even before it was ‘officially’, which makes it a full-on Thing.

Unofficially? Jared asks.

Idk. You know how it is, Erin replies.

Jared does not know how it is. He can’t even begin to guess what she’s referring to, he has so little awareness of how it is. He met Bryce and that was it for him. Well. Give or take a few weeks and a minor grudge.

Oh we’re calling it a minor grudge now?

Wait no you don’t you were engaged at my age hahaha

Erin obviously knows Jared was engaged at nineteen, and gave him shit for it at the time (her ‘I can’t believe you’re going to be a child bride’ is one of my favourite lines in the entire series) but now that she’s nineteen herself?

His phone lights up with another text, which is just hahahahahaha and crying laughing emojis.

She’s dying what were they THINKING.

“Can I come in?” Bryce asks meekly.

“Fine,” Jared says, since it’s not like he’s talking to Erin anymore. Though he doesn’t know why Bryce would want to. This is the sulking room, and Bryce doesn’t seem sulky about this at all.

Only Big Sulky Babies allowed.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you?” Bryce says, perching on the bed beside Jared as Jared tries to forcibly wipe his brain clean. “I just — kind of thought it was something we both knew but we were like, pretending we didn’t know so you could ignore it forever.”

Look at Bryce supportively pretend something doesn’t exist because he fears for Jared’s sanity.

“Don and I are cool now,” Bryce says. “Sort of. Mostly. He hasn’t insulted me to my face in like – a while. Huh. That’s a good sign.”

Don did mean it about Bryce being a member of the family after he married Jared. You don’t insult family. Mock? Sure. Tease? Absolutely. But insult? Absolutely not.

“Why didn’t someone actually say ‘hey Jared, you do know this is a thing, right?’” Jared asks. His immediate family and Julius all know that Jared can be, well —

Someone should have made sure he was aware, is the point.

“I honestly think Erin just wanted to see how long it’d take you to figure it out if no one actually said ‘hey Jared, Erin and Julius are dating’,” Bryce says. “And apparently the answer was a picture on twitter?”

Everyone assumed Jared already knew and was pointedly ignoring it. Except Erin. She knew that Jared would yell at her or Julius when he knew, and therefore he was still in the dark.

Bryce looks shifty again. “Ash told me that Erin said that?”

Which means Ash knows, obviously. And that Ash and Bryce have discussed this. So Chaz must know. And Maia. Not that babies know things, just —

Don’t worry, Jared, I promise Maia didn’t know before you.

Fucking Oilers fans found out about this before Jared did. Flames fans did.

He doesn’t know why, but the fact Flames fans knew this before Jared did makes this so much worse than if it was just Oilers fans.

This is simultaneously a weird thing to get stuck on, yet also totally understandable. Oilers fans are Julius fans. Flames fans are Julius haters. But also may remember Erin from Bryce drama. Also fuck Flames fans, all Jared’s homies hate Flames fans.

Jared’s phone buzzes from where he tossed it after the last emoji round. He bets it’s more hahahahas. Possibly some skulls. Erin likes to die laughing.

She can’t hahaha any longer, she’s already dead from laughing.

150. Affront

Jared thinks people are supposed to be afraid of death. He’s pretty sure that’s common, reasonable. When threatened with death, people should feel fear. But what is Julius Halla doing right now? He’s laughing. At Jared.

He basically lived with you, Jared, he knows just how little true bite there is in you.

“Stop laughing,” Jared hisses. “You traitor.”

“Who am I a traitor to,” Julius says. He sounds vaguely curious, like someone who’s been accused of something ludicrous, and is interested to see how you came to that conclusion. Which is rich, for a traitor.

But who is he a traitor TO, Jared?

“Me!” Jared says. “And friendship! And lineys! And — there’s a code!”

I do enjoy Jared continually using Julius being his liney as a reason when they have now been divisional rivals longer than they were ever linemates.

“You think it’s the definition of toxic masculinity,” Julius says. “And that it frequently treats women as objects and prizes to be won, and also acts like showing affection towards your friends is gay. And you’re gay, and you think showing affection is disgusting, so obviously there is no connection.”

He listens <3

“She’s like, ten!” Jared says. “She’s way too young for you.”

Julius is very quiet. “How much older than you is—“

There’s about a two and a half year age difference between Erin and Julius. Bryce and Jared’s is just shy of four years. As Julius well knows, the bastard.

“Eating my food and dating my sister,” Jared says. “Who is a child.”

“How old were you when you got engaged?” Julius asks.

Jared can only an inarticulate sound of rage in answer, because Julius knows exactly how old he was when he got engaged.

The answer is ‘exactly as old as Erin is now’. As Julius is well aware, the BASTARD. Also, a missing word, my bad.

“Wait,” Jared says, suddenly horrified. More horrified. “You’re not engaged, are you?”

“No!” Julius says, sounding equally horrified.

This question isn’t the reason Julius doesn’t want to get married, but it certainly did not help.

“How did this even happen,” Jared moans. “Wait. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know anything. Why didn’t you tell me.”

This feels like a trick question.

“I wanted to wait to tell you in person,” Julius says. “Because I was concerned you’d be, well. You know.”

People keep telling Jared he knows things that he does not know.

“I don’t know,” he says.

“Hysterical,” Julius says.

“I am not hysterical!” Jared says.

This might be more believable if Jared hadn’t shrieked that last bit.

The fact Bryce bursts out laughing in the living room contradicts that statement, but Julius can’t hear him. And maybe it’s coincidental laughter. Maybe Bryce is watching something funny. Because Jared is not hysterical.

“Wait, Erin didn’t think I’d be hysterical?” Jared says.

Look, Jared may deny he’s hysterical, but also — why didn’t Erin think he’d be hysterical? Even if he isn’t. Because he is not. But also — really?

For all of Erin’s many…many…many faults, an inability to predict Jared’s behaviour is unfortunately not one of them. She used her predictive ability for blackmail purposes way too much when they were younger, always caught him in the act when he was breaking the few house rules he ever broke then threatened to snitch if Jared didn’t do shit for her. He made her so many grilled cheese sandwiches. To this day he associates grilled cheese with smug smiles and extortion.

Admission of hysteria. Also Jared makes an excellent grilled cheese sandwich. Worth surveillance for blackmail purposes for sure.

“But I was in Finland at the beginning of summer,” Julius says. “And then Bryce injured his shoulder, and you went to Vancouver, and there was no good time. And then twitter.”

Julius, if asked, would say they were a thing months earlier than Erin would. But they had not yet defined the relationship.

“She’s fine,” Julius says. “She thinks it’s funny.”

He sounds faintly scandalised. Which is understandable, because it’s not funny.

“Did you tell her it’s not funny,” Jared says.

“I did,” Julius says. “She says she gets to decide if it’s funny or not.”

“But it’s not funny,” Jared says.

“I know,” Julius says.

Counterpoint from Erin: it’s fucking hilarious, you’re both just boring.

“Don’t like —“ Jared says, then pauses, because there are a lot of different demands warring in him right now. “That’s my sister, Halla.”

“I know,” Julius says. “Would it help if I told you I have…strong…feelings—“

“Gross,” Jared says. “Stop talking.”

“Okay,” Julius says, sounding greatly relieved.

I love their friendship. Every time feelings are involved they both react like cats getting sprayed with water.

“No,” Jared says. “Obviously it is. Did you know that they were together?”

There’s a silence.

“Mom?” Jared says.

“…did you not?” his mom asks. “Jared!”

NOBODY was hiding this from Jared. Nobody.

“Erin’s spent more time in Edmonton than Calgary since her semester ended,” mom says.

“She has a friend there,” Jared says, then, “Oh.”

Yes.

There's only one direct reference to Erin and Julius’ relationship before Jared finds out in the series, because I had to ride a careful line there, as Jared hadn’t noticed anything, so his POV wouldn’t really reflect the information he wasn’t paying attention to.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jared demands. ‘Friend’ is not telling him. ‘Friend’ is a euphemism you use when the other person already knows.

“I thought you knew!” his mom says. “And were just immaturely pretending that as long as you didn’t acknowledge it then it wasn’t actually happening!”

Jared thinks it might be a concerning sign that the two people who know him best both assume he thinks that if he pretends something hard enough, it won’t happen.

Yes that might indicate something about you, Jared.

“Yes!” Jared says. “Why aren’t you mad about this? Your daughter’s dating a hockey player. A hockey player. And you’re letting her?”

“You’re a hockey player, Jared,” his mom says. “As is your husband. And literally all of your friends.”

This isn’t exactly Grace’s mom upon finding out she was dating Raf.

“That’s just people in general, sweetie,” his mom says. “And we know Julius is a nice young man.”

“He is not,” Jared says. Julius is many things, but he is not nice.

“You know what I mean by nice, Jared,” his mom says.

He’s not a nice boy, but he is a good one. Also he speaks Matheson quite fluently.

“You can’t just assume that I like him.”

“Jared,” his mom says. “You love that boy. You brought him home for Christmas.”

“Out of the kindness of my heart,” Jared says.

“You brought home someone you don’t like for Christmas out of the kindness of your heart,” his mom says. “And then you invited him to your wedding. As one of the handful of guests who wasn’t immediately related to you or Bryce. Out of the kindness of your heart.”

Jared, we all know there is not even close to that much kindness in your heart.

“Obviously you like him, or he wouldn’t be one of your best friends,” his mom says. “And since you’re choosy about who you’re friends with, that means a lot. You have extremely good taste in friends, when you actually bother to make them.”

Jared picks at the hem of his shorts.

Jared thinks it’s quite rude for his mom to use facts and reason against him when he is intent on being unreasonable.

“Gross, love,” Jared says.

“I won’t tell Erin you love her, I promise,” his mom says.

“Good,” Jared says. “Ew.”

How dare anyone say he loves his (demon) sister.

“Jared,” his mom says. “Are you making this all about you?”

“No,” Jared says.

“Jared,” his mom says.

“Well it’s a little bit about me, isn’t it!” Jared says. “He’s my friend. And liney.”

“Former liney,” his mom says. Everyone’s so fixated on that part. Liney status can last past being teammates. Look at Jared and Chaz: linemates for life. Even though Bryce subsequently stole Chaz a little, despite the fact they played on completely different lines on the Flames. Not that it’s stealing. Couples share.

Jared can share. Look at how good Jared is at sharing. He only holds Bryce befriending Chaz against him a little, years down the line. That’s sharing.

Eventually Julius is going to get exposed to Erin’s sparkling personality.

He’s had some exposure therapy, rooming with Jared.

Jared would mention that long-distance relationships are highly prone to failure, but he’s pretty sure mom would bring up how much of his relationship with Bryce involved long-distance, and Jared is frankly sick of people reminding him of his own extremely successful relationship, and not letting him be hypocritical.

What bullshit.

He hates arguing with his mom. It’s like arguing with himself, except worse, because at least when he argues with himself, he always technically wins.

The best kind of argument.

“You remind me so much of your dad right now,” mom says.

“Mom!” Jared says.

“A little Don in the making,” his mom says. “He’d be so proud.”

Jared tries to tell her to take it back, but all he can manage is an inarticulate sound of rage. Again.

The cruelest thing you could say to him.

“I got Thai from that place on Burrard you really like,” Bryce says, then, all in a rush, “Sorry for assuming you knew about Julius and Erin and were just pretending you didn’t instead of like, actually not knowing. If I knew you actually didn’t know I would have told you. Or made Erin tell you because it wouldn’t be my place to tell you or. Are you mad at me?”

Sala Thai, for anyone curious. Also, poor Bryce. He really did think Jared knew.

“Did you get me soup to shut me up?” Jared asks.

“I got you it because it’s your favourite?” Bryce says, looking both hurt and confused.

Poor, poor Bryce.

“—and doesn’t he realise what Erin’s like?” Jared says. “Because he is going to be unpleasantly surprised when he gets to know her a little better.”

“Uh,” Bryce says. “I think he’s had a pretty good preview of what Erin’s like?”

BRYCE, NO. I mean, you are 100% correct, but NO.

“We are nothing alike,” Jared says.

“Erin made the exact same face when I said that,” Bryce says. “Like. That’s almost creepy.”

“You’ve said this to her?” Jared says.

“Yeah, because you’re both—“ Bryce says, then, “Ow! She did that too!”

Why do Mathesons keep smacking Bryce’s arm when he tells them the truth?

“We’re nothing alike,” Jared mutters.

Bryce says nothing, but he’s got this look on his face like ‘I’m humouring you right now by not arguing, but you know and I know that you’re full of shit’.

“Stop — looking at me with that face,” Jared says.

Bryce huffs out a laugh. “Erin said—“

Jared can’t hear him.

“Jared,” Bryce says, muffled. “Jared, I know you can hear me.”

Jared cannot.

Erin wasn’t immature enough to put her hands over her ears though, that one’s all Jared.

“Take it back,” Jared says.

“No,” Bryce says. “I’m not pretending something isn’t true just because you don’t like it, that’s ridiculous.”

Jared picks up his noodles.

“I got you soup,” Bryce says sadly as Jared stomps right back to the sulking room, this time with dinner.

Poor, poor Bryce.

[toshio]

Dude why are you so pressed about my ask? My point is that you’re manipulating your photos even if just angles and lighting and yes you see results from push ups everyday but those results don’t outweigh the long-term damage it does to your body. You don’t see it now because you’re still in your 20’s. But the advice you give is dangerous and is going to hurt people. Those people on youtube get the same criticism because they’re giving terrible advice with inflated results.

i’m not pressed over your ask, however i think you clearly are if you’re still sending me long angry messages on anonymous instead of coming out of hiding and having a civilized conversation with me.

my main frustration with your original message was the false accusation that my photos were edited, as if i have the time to literally import my iphone camera selfies into photoshop and alter my physical appearance to look more muscular than i really am.

anyway, doing pushups is a great exercise that requires no equipment or gym. to anyone reading this, if you want to start your fitness journey and develop a chest, i think it’s a great start. i don’t know why this anonymous person in particular is so pressed and vehemently against simple & effective home workouts (some people can’t afford gym memberships so i think this is a great solution) but i hope they find peace. LOL

[eatmangoesnekkid]

I don't realize that I possess a high level of confidence until I am around other women. I then get to witness how disembodied, timid or afraid many of us are, how scared we can be to share our real thoughts, especially to someone we may be attracted to, or do things alone. I get to see how we can be easily triggered or ungrounded based on what is happening in the environment. I also notice that women tend to pay a lot of attention to how others are perceiving them, observing who is watching, and easily influenced or altered by other people's emotions/actions. I used to be like that as well. This is actually a weakened, hyper-feminine, damsel-in-distressed state and building more harmony in our energetic makeup will be necessary for mind-body-spirit-economic thriving. I wasn't always confident that's for sure, not in my teens or early 20s. When I think about where my confidence rose from, it had a lot to do with me learning to unplug from the matrix, letting go the need to blindly follow status quo thinking, learning to adore my own company and do things alone, and strengthtraining my body. I stopped following the crowd and doing what was cool and popular in my late 20s and started training my body to open up my guardian wisdomkeeper within in order to bring my divine gifts into the world. The Core of the Body is the Original Brain "Most say the gut/core is the 2nd brain, but I treat my gut like the first brain." --India If you have the mobility, any kind of routine and ritualized bending, twisting, squatting, lunging, pulling/pushing, or walking/sprinting action sparks the flow/fluids/energy in your core area. Everything is energy and when we bring in more energy into the center of our bodies (our core/womb space/gut), we begin to solve our body's issues. I have a very "prissy" sassy, socialized feminine nature. It's how I was raised and what I saw modeled growing up in my home. And I have been to the most hood ass gym alone in Atlanta, "Lee Haney Gym" on Ponce de Leon. It was occupied mostly by big muscular men and a few women who competed in bodybuilding competitions and were on steroids in obvious ways. And I still was able to workout alone. This gym had the best high-quality equipment that I could afford at the time and I would put on my headphones, focus my gaze, and do what I needed to do. Overtime I found some of the men to be the sweetest, kindest souls and they embraced me like a little sister and the others --well--I pretty much ignored them. Plus doing exercises that work the center of the body (solar plexus or belly area) gifts you with a natural confidence that can't be faked. This area energetically corresponds to the solar plexus, or the spaciousness where non-arrogant warrior-level confidence is born. Anything from squats, pilates, to HIIT classes will help to bring more stability to your body which increases your knowledge of self and naturally inspires greater confidence. Taking l-theanine magnesium (regulates sleep and anxiety) and not treating your stomach like a 'garbage can' also help. Nurturing the truth of the divine feminine is deeply DEEPLY important but nourishing athleticism (in harmony with your unique and beautiful range of motion and mobility) and nutrient-dense cellular nutrition are also important. Always pray over your food as well. You can't be so feminine that you leave your body behind. And a healthy (or healthier) body is a naturally confident one.

India Ame’ye, Author

[jarofstyles]

How’s sugar baby H doing?

He’s doing goooood. Some stress baking currently 🍰🧁🥧

Check out our Patreon!

—

Rolling up his yoga mat, Harry wiped the sweat from his brow with the hand towel. The back deck was warm, the cool breeze relaxing him further. Yoga held a beautiful piece of his heart, knowing that he was able to release the tensions he felt through the days whenever he had a session. Yoga, meditation, all of that had helped heal a part of him he hadn’t expected.

It wasn’t always like this. Now that he stayed at Y/N’s house as a pretty house boyfriend for all intents and purposes, he had the time. No longer busting his ass at the bar and the pizza shop with his double shifts to make ends meet and afford his recording equipment and rent, he had truly gotten blessed with this arrangement- and found a beautiful woman he utterly adored. Tucked into the piece of his heart he hadn’t known was missing.

With her excitement about work and genuine love of her career, Harry didn’t feel the guilt most would. Y/N adored her job, she loved working hard and being able to come home to a happy, stress free Harry was a blessing in every sense of the word. Having him relaxed, relaxed her. Sharing the wealth, having someone at home to kiss and cuddle and be close with all while benefiting them both?

She wished she had met him sooner.

Harry heard the triple beep of the house alarm being disarmed, a smile forming on his lips as he walked into the sliding glass doors and placed his now dirty yoga mat in the laundry room. Making his watch towards the kitchen, he heard heels click until the distinct thud of them being thrown to the side. His lips twisted as he knew he’d be the one to fix it up later properly in the show caddy, but his excitement to see her outweighed the pet peeve.

His heart lightened as he watched her enter with all her glory. Sleeked back ponytail, now barefoot and suit jacket hung off her arm, a manicured brow perked up as she took in the scene in front of her.

A shirtless, sweaty, beautiful tattooed man with low hanging gym shorts. Glistening in the late afternoon sun that ran through the airy living space, along with his deep dimples as he had one foot kicked over the other as he leaned against the kitchen island. And said kitchen island. Lined with a few new display holders with baked goods lined in them.

Harry’s baking hobby was one that Y/N had a love hate relationship with. One- she loved the baked goods. He had a natural gift with it, like he happened to have with most things, and he made the most incredible things. Looks wise and taste wise, nothing truly compared to having the sweets tucked into her lunch that he made her. But on the other hand- sometimes it was hard to stop eating them. Add on top that Harry stress baked, and this was definitely a stress baking amount of food.

She could see the cute little labels he had used the chalk for. Banana chocolate chip bread, lemon blueberry poppyseed muffins, carrot cake cupcakes with cream cheese icing and orange cream cookies.

“What stressed you out? And why are you trying to tempt me with body and food after work?” She quizzed him, placing her blazer on the back of one of the island chairs. He was truly something else, her hands rising to press to his chest as she leaned into his warm body.

“Had a weird call with some old friends.” He mumbled, pressing a slew of kisses to her hairline. The gesture was something she loved more than a lot of other things. Harry had a way of making her feel both delicate and soft and cared for but also empowered and strong. He knew the right ratio, the right caresses and coaxing. “Went weird. They don’t really get where I’ve been but… you know.” The lifestyle he had in the past wasn’t bad, per say, but he wasn’t into the best scene with his friends. He was done partying. He knew people who were using him for what he had now. He loved this stability. His core group of friends. Y/N.

“Oh, darling.” She crooned, leaning up to kiss his soft mouth. “I’m sorry. I know that it��s been hard.” Finding out who wanted to be in your life truly was a hard lesson. Y/N had gone through it a few times. “But I really think what you’ve done so far has been amazing. You can mourn the loss of what life was in the past while still enjoying and loving the current one. It doesn’t make you ungrateful.”

Y/N somehow knew what his thoughts were. Could see right through him to a point where it could be unsettling- If he didn’t find comfort in having someone know him well like that. He used to love being the mysterious one, but having someone who knew him inside and out was a new love of his.

He sighed, leaning his head against hers as his arm squeezed her shoulder to tug her body into him. “Exactly. Don’t want to be ungrateful cause I’ve never been happier. Plus… think I’ve perfected the banana bread finally. Used too much butter last time.” He smiled, releasing her from his embrace. “Did this, a little yoga. Been feeling better now. Wanted to be in good condition for when you came home.” His fingers gently tugged on her ponytail. “Figured I could spend the last bit of stress and let it go while we shower together. Hm?”

Y/N’s smile turned a little saucy, eyes darkening at the suggestion. “I think you could use my body as whatever stress relief you want. It goes both ways, my darling.” Her lipstick has faded a bit, not staining his lips as she pressed them back to his again. “You’re already halfway nude. Go on upstairs and put one of those fizz things on the floor so it smells nice for me. I’ll be right up.” She made her way towards the home office with her briefcase, speaking over her shoulder. “Naked policy today.”

“Yes ma’am.” It was good to be home.

[writer-by-the-sea]

You talk about going to the gym a lot but do you ever do stuff at home? Asking for someone who can't afford the gym 👉👈

Oh yeah, sometimes I just don't feel like going... (Also my work pays for all my gym memberships .)

However, I have two treadmills and adjustable weights so I'm not the best person to ask.

Honestly, if you can, the best way to get started is with some yoga. While it's uncomfortable to do it without a mat, you can still do the standing poses without having to get on the ground.

You can also get yoga mats these days at target, five below, sometimes even the dollar stores.

I also primarily focus on my arms, not to lose weight, so again not a great resource I'm sorry lol

Get some free workout apps and do the best that you can.

If you're looking to follow in my steps lol, check out this post from Arnold Schwarzenegger.

It's from Covid, but it's great for building strength at home with no equipment.

Make sure you get plenty of protein.

[team7-headquarter]

I'd love to read a Naruto au where the Konoha 12 (plus others) are participants of an interior design and house building program.

It doesn't have to be a competition all the time.

Imagine Naruto's house full of vibrant colors and artistic loud details and funny tricky corners for the whole family; stuff that breathes life into the walls until it feels like a home. It feels like anyone can live in there, like you'll find love and comfort among the declarations, that it is a safe place.

Or Sasuke's classical and yet innovating approach, whispers of traditions from all over the world that he has seen in his travels. They are carefully mixed but emerging in bold furious designs that make the house looks like a living being, not a building.

Or Sakura's practicality packed in affordable items and useful spaces, without ignoring the need for beauty and creativity in the day to day life. Nature based arrangements that merge gracefully and consider the mental and physical health of the owners, a place to heal in, to go rest in, to grow in.

There's so much I'd love to see explored, like Sai's favoritism for hand-painting patterns in the walls or Ino's exquisite flower arrangements that fill the house with their delicate fragrances. You have the dedication Choji always shows when it comes to cooking spaces like the kitchen and the barbecue place in the yard, Hinata making sure the house doesn't lack decoration for any formal occasion, even Rock Lee's preference for wasting money on house gyms and training equipment. It makes me so excited just to think about it skdnndndkdndksn

And what about Kiba insisting on including pet friendly setting and Shino changing the design to have minimum impact on the wildlife and nature around them? Or Shikamaru and Neji appreciation of home offices and peaceful gardens for the owners to relax and be productive? What about Tenten being the specialist when they need to decorate with fake or real weapons?

I don't know, it think is so silly and impactful and you can enjoy so much their dynamic in a safe environment... Really, best comfort fic.

[shadowmaat]

Getting proper exercise can be boring, especially in a gym setting or with home gym equipment. Folks have been finding creative ways to counter this, and good on' em! I know that exercise bikes these days usually have a screen and an option for scrolling scenery. I'd just like it to go a step or two further (or perhaps become more mainstream, since it may already exist).

VR environments for bikes/treadmills. Fully-immersive computer-generated worlds to explore. Walking simulators. Wander through fields and see dinosaurs in the distance. Bike along mountain trails and see dragons soaring overhead. Explore the streets of an alien city.

I know there are pedometer apps that let you track your "walk" to Mordor. Wouldn't it be even more fun if you could actually see the same sights as Frodo and the rest? Without the worry of getting killed by orcs. And yeah, that'd involve a lot of legal crap with the Tolkien Estate, but still. Just the general idea of an immersive experience with the goal of exercising (or side effect of exercising while you explore) would be cool. Not that I'd be able to afford it, anyway. LOL! What a cool thing for video game designers to work on, though. Without all the fuss and bother of dialog options and character customizations.