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joels-shitty-puns · 6 months

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The Key To Your Heart - Track 9

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Panic/Anxiety attack. Alluding to sexual scenarios. Kissing. Fat shaming, name calling. Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 2.7K

Series List: Here!

Miss Chapter 8? Here!

Hi everyone!! I really don't feel great about this chapter, I'm sorry if it sucks. I kinda just want to get it out there though because I don't see my brain thinking up anything better. A lot of writer's block surrounding this scene. Anywho, hopefully next chapter will be better, but I still hope you like it. Although we allude to a little bit of sexual situations now that they are together, I likely will avoid explicit smut being that Pedro is a real human and I am a guilty, guilty human for writing any smut at all. I don't want to offend Pedro (not that he'd ever see it anyway, I am delusional), but I also know people find real person fiction uncomfy as a whole. That being said, I think this story may be coming to a close pretty soon. I plan to have maybe one more full storyline chapter, and at least one little side bonus chapter :) Please let me know what you think in the comments, or DM me if you wanna chat! I love hearing all your thoughts. Thank you for reading and hanging in here with me.

Before the screen even had a chance to load, you canceled the request. Nervously looking at Pedro, he held your hand under the table. “What is it?” he asked gently.

“I just realized,” you replied. “What if they ask about us? About those pictures? What should I say?”

Pedro answered with a gentle stroke of his thumb on your cheek. “Whatever you feel comfortable with. I'm sure I'll be fine with whatever you say, baby. I know your privacy is important to you, and I trust you. I'm all in with you.”

“Okay.” You took a deep breath and once again began the stream.

“Live in 3…”

“2…”

“1…”

The fans began to file in, and before you knew it, you had thousands of viewers. Opting to start with your screen covered, you wanted to give an intro first before the big reveal.

It wasn't long before the comments flowed across the screen.

You took a deep breath, squeezing Pedro’s hand, and jumping in. “Hi everyone! It's me… a lot has been happening lately and I decided it might be time to show a little more of myself.”

-“First!”

-“Did she mean to start a live video ??"

-"Hiii! I'm a big fan"

-“Is she there??”

-“Do you guys see anything?”

“So… Here's me.” You turned on your camera, waving at the screen, your stomach twisting in deeper knots.

-“No fucking way.”

-“!?!!!!!”

-“SCREAMING”

“Hi… Some of you might know me, some might be surprised. But this is me. This is the girl behind the music.”

The comments flooded in, entirely too fast for you to read.

“I want to thank all of you for being fans and listening to my songs. It really means a lot and I hope you liked the album. Your support blows me away, especially with what little information about myself I've given.”

More comments.

“Well, I uh… guess I should read some of these comments and answer some questions. I'm sure there’s a lot you all are wondering about,” you stated nervously, starting to read.

-“Why did you hide your identity?”

“Why did I hide my identity… I hid my identity mostly based on poor self image. I never expected my music to gain popularity, never expected celebrities to know it. Never expected any of it, and it certainly brought its share of criticism. I was scared to be in the spotlight and I didn't feel like I looked good enough to be someone famous. You know? I'm not skinny, I have flaws, and that doesn't always sit well with the Internet. I guess I was mainly scared of how I would be perceived. I'm just a normal girl who had her whole life flipped upside down when I wrote my feelings down,” you laughed anxiously.

Choosing to ignore the storm brewing in the comments below, you addressed the earlier comment. “Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad I can make you feel more accepted by seeing more plus-sized people in the entertainment business. Everyone should feel seen and have a place at the table, no matter what you look like, or who you are.”

-“I think it's nice to have more celebrities that look kinda like me.”

-“You're so humble!!”

-“You should've stayed hidden lmao”

-“Shut up, asshole. Why are you here if you're going to be rude?”

-“I'm sure you're a real supermodel behind that keyboard bravery.. smh”

You weren't expecting someone to actually feel like you were representing them and making them feel seen. You didn't think you had enough of an impact for that. You certainly weren't treated that way when you weren't famous. Nobody really even noticed you before.

You could feel Pedro’s eyes on your face, his thumb swirling circles and hearts over the space of skin on the top of your hand, below your thumb. The place where his bullseye resides on his own. Does he trace that tattoo when he's nervous, the same way he is with me? Perhaps his tracing of your hand is calming himself as much as it is for you.

Desperately, you wanted to look over at him and be comforted by his deep brown eyes, but doing so would cause people to wonder who you made eye contact with and smiled at. So instead, you gave a gentle squeeze and a smile towards the screen, hoping he would understand.

-“Hi, I'm a big fan of yours. Can I ask… is what you said on your album true? You've never been kissed before? I haven't either and I was starting to feel like I'm just a freak.”

“Oh, honey, you aren't a freak. Everyone has things happen at different times in their life. But yes, everything I wrote in my album at the time I wrote it was true. And don't worry, I have felt the same way. Seeing others be kissed, falling in love… having the things I wasn't, it really hurts. But it'll be okay.. nothing is wrong with you. You're deserving of love.”

You hoped they wouldn't pick up on your usage of past-tense wording. Pedro, still holding your hand, rubbed his other hand over your arm gently.

-“Wait… at the time you wrote it? What about now?”

The comments were going wild.

Welp…

Your hands shook, and you used your opposite hand to place on top of Pedro’s that gripped yours. He squeezed gently, feeling the nervous tremors pass through your body, continuing to rub gentle strokes over your arm with his opposite hand.

“Uhm…” your cheeks heated and your stomach sank.

“I've changed a lot since this album was first written. Experienced new things. But I'm still the same person.”

Shit.

-“Who did you kiss?! Is it the guy in your song?”

-“Will you tell us who the song is about?”

-“Wait a second… you're that girl aren't you!?!!!! The one in the pictures with Pedro Pascal!!!!”

-“OMG IT IS”

-“!!!!!!!”

-“IS HE THE GUY!?!”

-“ARE YOU DATING!?!”

The nervous tremors continued, now threatening to cause your teeth to chatter. A full panic attack was brewing. Pedro squeezed your hand again, touching your knee and trying to do his best to ground you without speaking up on your live video. Skipper could feel the waves of anxiousness pooling off of you as well and crawled forward to settle his body across your feet. You took a few calming breaths, but when you went to speak, your voice still betrayed you.

“I..” your voice cracked, shakiness evident as you could feel tears starting to edge their way towards your vision.

I can't do this. I can't do this. I need to shut it off.

You shut your eyes, taking deep breaths, trying to ease your nausea and stress.

Keeping your eyes closed, you spoke. “Yes.”

You took another deep breath. “Yes it was me, yes the song was about him. Yes.”

You opened your eyes to read the comments, tears pooling down your cheeks as you couldn't hold back your emotion anymore.

This is so embarrassing. The first time I show my face I'm crying and having an anxiety attack in front of the whole world.

You swallowed, choking back the full sobs that your body wanted to let loose. Wiping your face with the back of your hand, you began to read the comments, expecting laughter, criticism, and bullying. Instead, you were met with kindness.

Coming back to your senses, you gave a shaky smile. “Thank you guys. I'm sorry for my emotions.” You sniffled. Pedro was still rubbing your hands and arms, comforting you, having never stopped. His eyes still bore into the side of your head, and you knew he was struggling to not speak up or grab you fully.

-“Oh my God, are you okay?”

-“I didn't mean to make you cry I'm so sorry”

-“You and Pedro make a cute couple”

-“Oh no, please don't cry”

-“Idk if you guys are dating but you seem cute”

-“I'm so glad you guys are spending time together when he's the guy in your song”

-“It'll be okay, please don't be upset”

-“You're amazing, we love you”

“Yes, Pedro and I have been spending a lot of time talking after he publicly commented on my song a few months ago. The party was the first time we met in person and we're still figuring things out,” you let go of your worries and broke eye contact with the camera, looking to your side to meet Pedro’s gaze. “But… we're happy.” You smiled at him. He smiled back gently, squeezing your hand, worry and sadness plaguing his face over your well-being. Breaking eye contact, you looked back at the screen.

You giggled before answering “well, I think that's all we have time for today. Thank you all for joining me!” You silently clicked off the stream, closing the browser, turning off the computer, and turning to Pedro. He grabbed your other hand in his, now holding both. “Are you okay?” He asked, concern etched in his face.

-“AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”

-“IS HE THERE WITH YOU!?!”

-“whaaaaat”

-“SCREAMING”

-“Shut. Up. This is insane.”

-“YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE I CAN'T TAKE IT”

“I think so,” you nodded.

“Seeing you panic and not being able to do anything without potentially making it worse… It killed me. I'm so sorry. I just wanted to pull you into my arms and end that video myself. I hated seeing you so upset.” He stared down at your intertwined hands, rubbing his thumb over them again.

“I appreciate you being here for me,” you let go of his hand to stroke his cheek. “I couldn't have done that without you.” You met his eyes, leaning forward to rest against his forehead. He let out a shaky breath. “I love you. I'm so proud of you.”

“I love you too,” you replied with a smile. “Let's move to the couch, huh?” You asked, pulling him up from the chair. He stood, just as your phone rang, a call from Rose. You quickly answered.

“I saw the live stream. You did wonderful! Don't worry about any of the negative comments you saw or any stories that come out of this. I'll handle it all.”

“Thanks, Rose.”

“Anytime. Take care.” She hung up.

You updated Pedro as the two of you walked towards the couch. “Do you want breakfast?” He asked.

“Maybe in a minute. Can I just hold onto you for a few minutes?”

“I would love nothing more.”

He sat on the couch, you sitting next to him, before he gave you a look. “What?” you laughed. He patted his leg.

“Let me hold you.”

“I'm too heavy for that Pedro, don't be ridiculous,” you shook your head.

“You're the one being ridiculous.” He reached over, pulling you into his lap. “I'm too heavy! You're going to hurt yourself,” you whined.

“You're not too heavy. You're the perfect size, baby. Come here,” he pulled you forward, your body sliding down his thighs as he wrapped his arms around you. You straddled his lap, knees on either side of his hips while he rubbed your back gently. You placed your arms around him, nuzzling into his neck and closing your eyes. You both sighed, and he grabbed a blanket next to him to pull over your bodies. “I could stay like this for hours, wrapped in your arms” you sighed comfortably.

“Why don't you?” He turned his head to kiss your lips. You lifted your face up, taking your head off his shoulder to kiss him deeper. The kisses were lazy and comfortable, holding each other and enjoying the warmth of being in each other's arms.

Finally the two of you broke the kiss, settling back on his shoulder, him tilting his head to lean against yours. His hands sprawled over your back, pulling you forward a bit to adjust in his lap. You let out a soft whimper at the contact, fully aware of the location your bodies connected at the moment. “Feel how much you mean to me?” He asked, his breath ghosting your ear as he pulled your hips forward again. You whined. “Yes..” you answered breathlessly. The temptation to keep doing that was overwhelming. But he once again wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your back as the two of you comfortably dozed off, finally relaxed after so much stress of the morning.

Hours later, you stirred, feeling Pedro still underneath you. At the feel of you moving, he stretched a bit before settling with his arms around you again. “Morning, baby” he hummed. “Guess we fell asleep,” you smiled.

“Some of the best sleep I've had in a while, here with you.”

“Same here.” You blinked your eyes open, kissing him on the lips with a peck. “What time is it?”

He turned his head to look at the clock on your TV. “5 o’clock” he laughed. “Guess we both needed some rest.”

“Mmmm, I guess so,” you hummed, settling into him more.

“Good thing I brought nonperishables. Are you hungry?”

You pondered. “Yeah, I am,” you looked into his deep brown eyes. “Breakfast for dinner?” You smiled at him.

“Sounds perfect.” He pecked your lips before you slid off his lap, the two of you standing to stretch. It wasn't long that you two stood apart before you leapt forward again to give him a hug. He laughed, hugging you back. “I'll never get tired of being in your arms,” you smiled into his chest, breathing in his scent.

“I'll never get tired of holding you in mine,” he pulled his face back to look at you.

“Now let's eat! I'm starved,” you scampered towards the kitchen, him giving a gentle pat to your butt before hugging you from behind as you grabbed the breakfast foods. You giggled, setting food on plates as he kissed your neck, still wrapped around you from behind. “I'm starving too,” he replied back to your earlier statement with a growl, biting your ear.

“Pedro!” You giggled, smacking his arm gently. He chuckled, pulling away and grabbing his plate as you both headed to the table.

The two of you ate, filling the space with light conversation, both of you occasionally sneaking Skipper some bites under the table. He could get used to having two humans spoiling him.

The chatter came to a natural pause, eating in silence and smiling at each other across the table. Pedro stopped eating, wiping his hands and continuing to stare at you. You laughed, asking him what was up. Suddenly, he looked nervous.

“I, uh…” he rubbed his neck. “I was going to wait until after we had at least a first date to say this, but…” he trailed off, and your mind spiraled. Is he breaking up with me? Is he not interested anymore? What's wrong?

“I was wondering if… you'd be my girlfriend? Exclusively?” His cheeks flushed.

You stammered, dropping your fork on the plate. “You… you want… me to be your girlfriend?” You smiled.

He nodded. “If… you'll have me.”

“You want to be my boyfriend?” He nodded again, looking down at the table.

“Yes. Yes, are you kidding? Please! I'd love nothing more.” You grinned, jumping out of your chair to move to him.

He stood, pulling you into a hug. “Really?” He smiled at you.

“Really,” you nodded. “Now kiss me,” you held his face.

“Gladly,” he pulled you closer, kissing you deeply, his tongue asking for entrance to your mouth. You squealed, surprised, but letting him in. You'd never experienced this sensation before. But it was… incredible.

He licked your lips, the two of you exploring the inside of each other's mouths, tongues dancing together. The kiss was heated and deeper than ever before, both of you finally pulling away for air, him coming back in to peck your lips a few times, sucking your lip between his own. You sighed shakily. “Wow.”

“I love kissing you,” he smiled against your lips.

“I love kissing you. You're a good kisser,” you smiled back.

“So are you,” he smirked. “My beautiful girlfriend.” He gave a kiss. “How about that date tomorrow?” He pulled away to look at you, letting his hand rub across your lower back, just above your butt.

“I'd love to,” you stroked his face. “My handsome boyfriend.” You wrapped your arms around him again, blissfully.

“Tomorrow,” you two sighed in unison.

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibley84 @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon @winchestergypsy90 @red-red-rogue @theendwhereibegin @lottieellz101 @oliversaurus @kyga01 @milly-louise @titabel @taz-97 @stefanibear003 @marantha @fandomoniumflurry @ilovemybrown-eyedbabygirl @leiadjarin @hmneighbors

Thank you for reading!!! Let me know what you think ❤️

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #a! wrote a fic #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal x afab!reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x plus sized! reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x musician!reader #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal rpf #rpf #key to your heart

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mrsriddles-blog · 3 months

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I actually find it quite rude that you do this weekly rec thing ? It's disrespectful to other writers who also write great stuff ..... Maybe you should just stop it or if you love it so much maybe in a month or something? When did you start this stuff anyway ? As a writer I feel like you should be more considerate towards other writers feelings . And no this is not out of jealousy , my work has been on your list and that's how I found out about this . In no way am i putting you down , I just wanted to get this out in a way that didn't seem rude

I started the weekly read thing to mainly keep track of everything I read during the week. It’s literally everything I’ve read so far this year. I love it and I do think it gives authors the spotlight during the week. I try to get new authors included every week if possible, but I genuinely just go through a read what I have in my likes posts and keep track of it.

I never meant to offend anyone and make anyone think it’s rude. It wasn’t my intention. I did consider once a month, but I prefer the weekly reads simply because I do read a lot on Tumblr and it’s hard enough to keep track of it all in my notes app where I compile the list.

I started at the beginning of the year as a new way to track what I was reading, but as an author myself I wanted to be able to recommend other works from other authors. It can be challenging to find these amazing works, especially when tags are misused constantly. So, as a reader it’s nice to be able to help other readers/authors who may struggle with finding new fics for their favorite characters.

If there are truly more than just you out there who don’t like that I do this and whatnot, feel free to reach out. If you don’t want to be on the list, you can tell me and I’ll make a list of those who want no part of the list. But, I’m sorry you find it disrespectful and rude. I never intended for that. I had done it in the beginning to help me keep track of what I was reading as I love to read a lot on here (I have OCD and really bad ADHD, so it’s a nice little thing I’ve done to keep me organized, but to help me remember) , Ao3, and Wattpad. It’s easy for me to keep track of all that I read—and there are some fics I find myself going back to because I loved them so much—so this was not to gain any sort of limelight on myself for doing or to shade other authors or whatnot. If anything, I mean the best and I know I try to include some writers who have just started on the Tumblr platform as it can be hard to find your audience.

Again, I never meant to offend anyone or to make it seem as if I were being rude. If anyone truly feels that way, feel free to message me or comment below. I won’t be offended! But, if there’s truly a lot of people out there who fill this way, maybe I will stop doing the posts and find another way to keep track of the reads. Again, I didn’t mean to offend anyone. Or I can continue, but if you’ve been on the list and don’t want to be on it, message me. I’ll be sure not to put you on the list in the future if it makes you uncomfortable or if you simply don’t like it.

I’m sorry to anyone who has been on the list and if I’ve offended you. I hadn’t seen anything negative, so I assumed that everyone was enjoying it as much as I.

#masterlist #week reads #weekly reading #slytherin boys #sturniolo triplets #coriolanus snow

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bas-writes · 1 year

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💥🎁🦋🦈📚 💌

Hi! Thanks for the ask :3

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

Sanji being a sex offender creep & all the transphobic and homophobic centered jokes he was involved with. Without a blink, I am shamelessly writing him ooc in this one aspect and I refuse to change my mind here.

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

From a Law x f!Reader I am really struggling with, but I am determined to pull it to the finish. It's not even proof-read so, a warning for possible typos and style glitches:

Ignoring the unpleasantly cool air, you shake the comforter off and crawl closer, soon wrapping arms around him from behind and setting chin on his shoulder. Barely does he jerk, just a sharper inhale tells you that you’ve been spotted. “Sorry.” He mumbles, face still pressed tight between hands. “Woke you up?” “Been awake sometime.” You kiss the line of hair at the back of his neck. “And you weren’t asleep at all, am I right?” Quite a long time, filled with the natural, musky smell of his skin pressed to your nose, passes before Law finds any words, his reluctance to lie fighting against need to not worry you. “Could be worse.” He grabs one of your hands and kisses its palm, his lips dry and parched—then finally moves, but slowly, visibly fighting against exhaustion and urge to fall back into the warm bed. “You need rest,” you insist, trying to keep him in place, arms holding on him as tight as your barely awake muscles let you. “Please? At least until they call us back?” “What a few more hours of lying here will do, if I can’t—” His words snap into a hiss, but he bites his tongue and sighs, heavy, as if he threw a great weight off his chest. “Ugh. Fuck. Sorry.” You kiss your forgiveness along his neck. “Maybe I can…help you relax, at least?”

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

I think Sanji, even if he's erm far from my favorite character in canon? He just clicks so easily with many prompts. Katakuri is a nice victim too, I like breaking introverts with issues into vulnerability, hehe. Law for similar reasons, but I am very picky with requests for him, since he has very sharp edge and, imho, doesn't fit everywhere. Slowly reclaiming Zoro after fandom pushed him out of my sphere of comfort. Luffy is a great joy to work with but, again, I'm super picky with him cause he's tough to grasp.

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

Crocodile. I, frankly, see him as hard aromantic and his personality is a pain in the ass to work with in typical x y/n setting. Doflamingo, too. I enjoy writing Doffy when the topic hits the spot - but it rarely does :/

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

My partner's in crime (@greenwitchtaimanslayer) Of Discordant Fists and Bloody Keys will change your mind on OCs if you, like me, don't particularly enjoy this kind of fiction. And I'm absolutely not mentioning it here so he'd move his ass and finish that new chapter or add that Renna x Y/N thingie :3

@heyitsdoe and her Doe's Spicy Ramen Shop is a must, if you're looking for some novelty in y/n fics. It's something completely different from majority of stuff I see around, and since it's a collection of one shots with different characters, I'm sure everyone will find something for themself.

@childofblackmaria and her dilf collection is also a must if you're looking for a mature approach to our favorite blorbos and not only. Lale's writing is like a safe harbor where you will return every time bad winds carry you to places you didn't wish to see.

I'm slowly chewing through @harudnae's portfolio and damn, they're one of those writers I will enjoy always, even if I don't particularly vibe with topic and/or characters. Sabo/Reader/Koala thingie just opened my eyes and I can't close them ever since.

For similar reasons, @doctorgerth never disappointed me with her fics. Won't link anything because I'd need to make a separate list for all fics I enjoyed. Coop is a classic in Y/N circles, if you're new here and you're not sure yet what's your flavor, take a look around her portfolio - everything will be a good, safe shot.

The fandom is packed with talented writers, there are many names that come to my mind but didn't have much time to read everything I wanted & memorize every nook enough to throw a recommendation. So please, don't be mad or disappointed at me, if I didn't include your name, even if we happen to interact T^T I'm a slow bun with everything lol

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

Does kink count as a trope? If it does, that's what my current writing obsession is. Yes, I'm horny on main & not ashamed of it :P

#ask bas #long post

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hanniiesuckle17 · 3 years

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Fireworks

A/n: this is not requested but i needed to write something for me and I always love writing best friend!jisung (this turned out to be hella long btw). Also i just realized this is the 16th jisung fic on my masterlist wtf. Welp happy sweet sixteen jisung.

Tag List: @mini-meanhoe @leggomylino @hanstagrams @desertofdessert @hoes4hoseok @yangomangos @jeonqqin @geminirules @crscendoforsung @mrsunshine999 @jisungsjheekies @hannie-squirrel00 @cotccotc @kodzu-ken @konenichi @yangs-jeongin @binniebutter @skzwriternet

Warnings: cussing probably, lil distressed jisung, alcohol consumption

Word Count: 5.2k

Summary: Y/n and Jisung practically grew up together. Y/n always dreamed of getting her fairytale happy ending. So, Jisung is surprised when she is settling for an all but labeled ‘arranged marriage’ to an asshole that Jisung knows doesn’t love her. Not like he does. Can Jisung convince himself to go after what he really wants and take the risks that come with it? Can Y/n face the facts that what she has wanted has been in front of her all along?

Genre: romance, fluff, angst, non-idol!au, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers!au, wedding crasher!au, Fem Reader

❃

“Please, come today!”

Jisung sighed over the phone. “Y/n. I have no knowledge whatsoever about dresses. Especially wedding dresses! They’re all white! What’s the difference?” I could hear the murmurs of Changbin and Chan on the other side of the line. “See. I will be no help at all!” Despite the negative connotation of his words I could hear the tiny smile in his voice.

“So, we’re meeting outside the shop at five.”

“Y/n, I’m not going.”

“2146 Chyeongsong Ave, got it?”

“Yes, I’ve got it.”

Letting out a happy laugh I hung up on my best friend, sure that his attendance could be accounted for. The wedding was three months away. Jiho, my fiancee, had no desire for a big wedding and it seemed the sooner we were married the happier he would be.

But, I had always dreamed of a magical wedding with hundreds of people watching me marry the man of my dreams. So, we compromised. He said I could plan as big I wedding as I wanted as long as I could get it done in three months and he would pay for it.

Jiho was the son of one of Seoul’s big company presidents. His family was very kind and seemed to welcome me with open arms despite my less than formal upbringing. Jiho grew up in a penthouse apartment and went to the best university in Seoul.

I grew up in a tiny house in the rundown suburbs next door my best friend, Jisung, and busted my ass to get scholarships and pay my way through a cheap college. Jisung was beside me in all the big moments in my life. He was my best friend and I loved him more than anything.

“So, what did he say?”

Sooyoung’s head of curly dark hair popped over the cubicle divider separating our two desks. I laughed and gave her a thumbs up. “You doubted my power of Jisung persuation?”

“Never. You could convince that boy to run around Gangnam with his shoes on his ears and screaming at the top of his lungs if you wanted to.” Laughing at the thought, I turned back to my computer, desperately watching the minutes tick by before I would get to start searching for my wedding dress.

❃

A slightly chilling breeze blew across the street. Jisung regardless of his lack of enthusiasm on the phone picked me up from work to walk with me to my dress appointment. My mother, other best friend Yuri, and Jiho’s sister Bo Rim were already waiting outside. Everyone greeted us with a smile as we walked up. My arm was looped with Jisung’s and my hand was stuffed in his jacket pocket since it was cold.

My mother smiled and embraced Jisung with a kiss on the cheek before motioning us inside. My entourage and I were quickly greeted by a consultant. “Hi! My name is Hyunsoon, I’ll be your consultant today. You must be the gorgeous bride, Y/n!” She smiled looking me up and down before glancing at my arm linked with the man beside me. “And is this handsome young man your husband-to-be?”

Jisung shook his head dark hair falling in his eyes. A tight smile sat on his lips as he answered the woman. “No, I’m just the best friend. I’m not going to stay for the whole appointment.” She nodded looking at Jisung with new eyes. “I want to be surprised. Regardless, Y/n will look radiant in whatever she chooses.”

After a few questions about my wedding Hyunsoon led me back into a dressing room and my family and friends to a couch with mirrors around it.

“Are you excited for your wedding?” She asked with a kind smile, placing dressing on the wall of the dressing room for me to see.

“You could say that,”

Her brows furrowed. “You don’t sound very excited?” I shrugged and laughed nervously. The dresses she had picked out were very pretty. Sensing I had nothing more to say on the topic she helped me into the first dress.

It was weird to see myself in the garment. I watched her fix the dress with clips so it would fit as it should before looking over to me. The dress was more of a ball gown style. It poofed out just above my hips and was strapless with a sweetheart neckline.

“Do you want to go out and show them?” I nodded and helped her pick up the many layers of tulle skirt. Hearing fabric brush against the ground as we walked out of the hallway, the heads of my entourage turned. Several smiles were seen from my view in the mirror as I stepped up onto the pedestal.

I gazed once again at the dress in the mirror. It was a gorgeous gown; there was no doubt. Feeling ready for their opinion, I turned around to face the peanut gallery. “What do you think?” My mother was quick to gush over the skirt. Bo Rim and Yuri both raved over the shiny beading on the bodice. Mrs. Nam, Jiho’s mother seemed to like it just fine. My eyes fell on Jisung who said nothing. He looked at me, arms crossed and fingers brushing over his bottom lip. “Ji?”

“It’s....nice...”

Struggling not to laugh I replied, “One of the most incredible song writers I know and the only thing he has to say is ‘nice’?” My friend chuckled and his stare raked over the fabric before looking back up at my face.

“It’s not you. You don’t look like you. You look like some frilly puffy marshmallow girl.”

From anyone else the comment would offend but all I could do was laugh. “He’s right this is definitely not me.” Nodding the consultant ushered me back into the dressing room. Five dresses later, nothing felt right and I was beginning to get stressed out. “What do I do, Hyunsoon? Nothing feels right. I’m not feeling those....fireworks.” The beautiful woman looked at me in question. “Sorry, it’s something Jisung and I say to each other. It’s like our wish for the other to find so much happiness that it feels like...actual fireworks.” I explained with a light laugh.

She sat down on the floor with me, moving the short silk robe further over my thigh, a gentle gesture. “Tell me more about your fiancee,” She kept her hand on my knee and rubbed soothing circles on my skin.

“Ummm....well...his name is Nam Jiho. He’s really nice and very very smart. Like holy fuck, he is insanely smart. He spends most of his time at work and he really likes to run as well.”

She looked at me expectantly. “That’s it?” I nodded, a little unsure of what else she wanted me to say. “And you love him?”

“Of course! What kind of a question is that? I’m getting married aren’t I?” Though I smiled, she could tell there was the smallest bit of insecurity. She thought for a minute tapping her fingers softly on my knee.

I felt somewhat lost among the mountains of white fabric scattered about the room. “Okay then! Whose opinion matters the most to you out of everyone you brought with you today?”

“Oh- Jisung. Of course.”

“Tell me about Jisung,”

A hefty sigh left my lips, but a small happy smile soon replaced it. “Jisung is....he’s like....my person you know? Like anytime I need him- even when I don’t need him- he’s always around. We grew up together. He is my everything. I trust him with more than my life. He’s just....Jisung. He is fully himself and unapologetic about it.” Ilaughed recalling thousands and thousands of memories with him. “He is a total asshole. Way too confident. But, he gets really shy sometimes. He’s also very genuine and has the biggest heart. Without Jisung...I wouldn't be who I am today.”

She smiled and pushed herself off the ground. “I will be right back!” Just as she closed the door, Hyunsoon winked over at me and left me alone in the dressing room.

❃

Jisung’s POV

I was beginning to feel restless. Y/n hadn’t come out in at least thirty minutes. My leg was going to bounce off my body at this point. Unable to sit still any longer I pushed myself off the plush couch. It was getting harder and harder to control my heart seeing Y/n walk out in all these gowns knowing she was going to marry another man.

Wandering through the labyrinth-like rows of white frocks, I found myself thinking once again about Y/n. Not bothering to cage my thoughts they ran wild with daydreams of Y/n choosing dresses imagining what I would think of her walking down the aisle. Her smiling at me instead of that asshat, Jiho.

Turning down an obviously dead end, my eyes fell on the mannequin standing in the center of the row. A delicate dress hung on the figure.Tattooed lace around the bodice and down the front of the gown to the hips fading like waves on shore. The back was low and open and my mind filled in the gaps, picturing Y/n’s soft skin laying beneath the fabric. My fingers brushed over the long thin sleeves.

The sound of the a door closing snatched me from the my tantalizing reverie. “Oh- You’re Jisung right?” The woman asked walking closer. I recognized her as the one helping with Y/n’s appointment. I gave her a short nod, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jacket. “I actually need your help.”

“Anything for Y/n.” The beautiful woman’s brow quirked up and a smile slid onto her painted lips. “I mean....anything...for the bride.”

Her tongue slid over her white teeth. There was so much white around, my head was starting to physically hurt. “Uh huh. Anyway! Y/n basically hates everything not only I have picked, but also everything she’s picked.” I stood waiting for the part where I could possibly help. “She trusts you. She wouldn’t stop talking about you.”

“I’m sorry....I don’t see how-”

“I see you’re looking at dresses. Have you seen one that you like? Maybe....one you would like...on Y/n?” My eyes fell to the floor, glancing over at the mannequin briefly. My quick gaze did not go unnoticed by Y/n’s consultant. “Well...Jisung....don’t you have good taste.” She walked over to dress form and checked the price tag before giving the gown a once over. “Revealing taste too....” She sang with a smirk.

I looked away rubbing the back of my neck, the area feeling very itchy all of a sudden. “I-I- uh...the dress just seems like her. It’s very.....mesmeric. Her.”

“She did say you have a way with words.” Hyunsoon, I think her name was, walked over to one of the racks pushing past dresses until she pulled out one I assumed was in my bestfriend’s size. “Go sit back down! I know she’s going to love this one.”

My head tilted back and I let out a sigh. As much as it pained me, I knew seeing that dress on Y/n and knowing it was ‘the one’ would be it for me. I’d snap and in front of all her family, soon to be and current, I’d confess how much I loved her and that I didn’t want her to marry that dick. I’d ruin what would be her perfect happy ending. Well...in her words....her ‘Moderatley-Happy-Fiancially-Stable Ending’.

“Actually...I’m gonna head out. I know she’s gonna love it. Tell her I hope she gets her fireworks.”

Willinging myself to start moving, I walked past Hyunsoon and towards the door, only stopping once. A glimpse. I caught only a glimpse. The door of Y/n’s dressing room opened and I saw the bright smile on her lips as she looked at the dress being brought to her. “That’s your last look, Han.” I mumbled under my breath. “Now turn around and walk out.”

With every ounce of willpower left in my body, I did.

❃

The TV droned in my rundown apartment. My two closest friends, outside the one I was deeply in love with, were half drunkenly lounged in my tiny living room. I scowled at the television, taking another drink from the bottle in my hand.

“Dude- slow down. That’s like your sixth drink.” The eldest chided, tossing a balled up fast food wrapper at my head.

Ignoring the fellow musician’s advice, I chugged the rest of the beer shooting Chan a look. “Chan let him be. You know what tomorrow is.” Changbin sighed. Turning, I found him hanging off an armchair upside down, scrolling through his phone. It was silent for a while until the inverted boy spoke up again. “I still don’t get why she’s marrying that douchebag.”

Knowing where this conversation was going I escaped to the kitchen, preoccupying myself with grabbing another beer from the fridge. the other two boys paid me no mind and continued the discussion as if I was invisible. Chan’s attention turned back to me as I plopped down next to him on the dusty old couch. “Han, didn’t you say you caught the guy cheating like....multiple times....”

It was true. I had caught Jiho not once, not twice, not even three times, but four times I had got him with other women. Jiho liked to go out to clubs. The scumbag would pretend that he was working late so Y/n would be none the wiser, then he would stay out until three in the morning drinking and getting with random girls he met. The bastard didn’t even have the decency to frequent establishments he knew I wouldn’t be at. My music career was in the dumps lately and I had resorted to DJ-ing at downtown clubs.

That fucking asshole even had the audacity to flirt with other girl while Y/n was around. She had invited me out with the two of them for drinks after a promotion at work. The second she leaves for the bathroom Jiho starts making moves on the waitress. Right in front of me.

“Yeah....well, there’s nothing I can do about it.” On multiple occasions I had tried to tell Y/n about her terrible fiancee. Every time I tried, all I could see was the look of hope on her face. the look that practically begged for me to tell her that Jiho and I were finally getting along. And....I couldn’t do it. I could never do it.

“Boo hoo. Horton hears a bitch ass liar!” Changbin slurred from his awkward position.

“What?”

“That is quite possibly the biggest lie you have ever told.”

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. Chan yanked the beer out of my grip and handed me a water bottle instead. “Oh and what do you suppose I do then?” I managed to get the words out before Chan less than gently shoved the water in my face.

The man beside me sighed and shifted to face me fully. “You love Y/n. Yes or No?”

“Yes.”

“She needs to know that.” I shook my head. No, she did not need to know that. I was not going to be the reason Y/n ruined her chance at a good life. Looking around my apartment I saw nothing but disappointment. Most months it was hard to make rent and I could barely afford to do anything but the bare necessities. She deserved better than what I could give her. “We all know Y/n is only settling. This is definitely not the fairytale ending she always talked about.”

“Chan, there’s no such thing as fairytales. Even Y/n knows that.” Inwardly, I grimaced at my own words. Had Y/n been around to hear those words I would have been slapped upside the head.

“How do you know that? Do you have proof?” Changbin mused, a drunk smile on his face. “Let’s say this is a fairytale. You and Y/n have to be the main characters! The prince and the princess always get to together in the end! Duhhh!”

Even in my sour and depressed mood it was easy to laugh as Changbin slid off the armchair and landed on his head. “He does have a point, Ji.” Chan said, listing his head back onto the couch. Two of his fingers pushed the bottom of the bottle back up towards my face. “You’re the leading man in your own life, dude. Stop acting like the best friend. If you want her go get her.”

My thumb brushed over the grooves in the plastic . The alcohol was quickly clearing out of my system. A numbness filled my body as I contemplated the options put in front of me. Maybe it was time for me to be selfish. Maybe it was time for me to get what I wanted.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself off the sofa and headed for the door.

❃

Thirteen hours. Thirteen hours before my best friend’s wedding and I was walking to her house at two in the morning to confess my feelings for her. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I mumbled under my breath. The view of her parents house was growing closer as I walked down the street. Y/n told me earlier in the week she would be staying there the night before the big day.

Just like so many nights in our teen-dom, a familiar yellow glow from Y/n’s bedroom window illuminated the street below her house. Through the second story window I could see glimpses of movement. For a moment I just stood, doubting all the decisions I made in the last twenty minutes. I could chicken out here. Turn around and go home. She would never know.

Just as I was about to turn around, I was caught in daze by the image in the window. Y/n stepped into view, radient like a new morning. From the little I could see from the street, she was wearing the dress I had picked from the boutique. Her hair was messily pushed back and strands fell in front of her eyes. The glint of the standing mirror flashed across from where she stood. Her beautiful E/c eyes trained on her reflection.

She was breathtaking. My chest got tight just looking at her and a cold sweat was born on my palms. I watched as she rung her hands together, nervously twisting the rings on her fingers; a habit we both shared. Y/n let out a shaky breath before returning her gaze to the looking glass, this time with a smile.

Her delicate fingers reached up and brushed her cheek before they stretched out as if to shake some invisible person’s hand. Her smile grew brighter as she talked to this imaginary person. She laughed and looked truly the happiest I had seen her in a long time.

My eyes fell to the road, scuffing my shoe on the asphalt. She was happy. No matter how badly I wanted her.....there was no way I was going to take that away from her. Y/n’s happiness mattered more than mine. I could find comfort in the knowledge that she would be happy. That she would be taken care of. That she got everything she deserved. Everything I could never give her.

Turning on my heel, the cold air and truth bleeding me sober, I walked back into the city away from my happy ending.

❃

Y/n’s POV

Thirteen hours. Thirteen hours before my wedding and I was questioning everything for absolutely no reason. The rest of my family was long asleep. Yet, here I sat in my wedding dress feeling like everything I was doing, every decision I made.....was wrong. I felt like crying for no reason, my throat refusing to be anything but tight.

Coming to my feet, I smoothed out the gorgeous gown and walked with no purpose until I found myself staring at the mirror on the far side of the room. The girl on the other side of the glass looked like a bride. Why wasn’t I happy with that?

Standing up tall like my mother lectured many times in the past few days, I pursed my lips and put on a pained smile. “Hi, I’m Mrs. Nam Jiho,” The name felt unclean coming from my lips. Tilting my head, I rubbed my face before staring back at my reflection. I sighed pushing back the feeling of tears begging to spill over.

“It’s nice to meet you, my name is Nam Y/n.” I shivered, swallowing the last bit of moisture in my mouth. “Nam....Y/n.....Y/n Nam....Mrs.Nam Y/n.” The more I tried to look at the person who I would become the more I felt like crying. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Mrs. Nam Y/n....” Before I could finish the words I broke into tears. Loud sobs filled my room and all I could do was stare at the hollow shell reflected in my mirror.

My heart ached. The air in the room around me felt heavy, like a weight on my shoulders, pushing me down into the ground. Pushing past the lump in my throat, my eyes returned to the mirror, this time fixating on the photos framing the glass. Pictures of my friends and family.

My heart lifted seeing a photo of Jisung and me. It was an old picture from highschool, probably taken on one of those disposable cameras you could get at corner stores. His school uniform was slightly too big for his then thin frame. My skirt was just a little too long and my shoes were never quite the right size. We were seated on the bleachers outside the school. Jisung sat on the row above me and let me rest between his legs. His arm was wrapped around my shoulders, as he leaned around to kiss my cheek. I was caught in the middle of a laugh and Jisung looked so happy right next to me.

I smiled remembering the day from the printed memory. A friend we both had lost touch with had taken the photo while we weren’t looking. We then got teased for days afterwards. My fingers brushed over the delicate fabric of the dress. The dress that Jisung had chosen. Jisung. Almost every happy moment of my life....was tied to Jisung. Taking a step forward, I looked back in the mirror. Sniffing away the tears, I smiled.

“I’m please to meet you....I’m Mrs. Han Jisung,”

The smile on my face grew bigger and my heart swelled. Reaching up I brushed away the tears that spilled over before holding my hand as if meeting one of the guests at my wedding. “Jisung and I are so pleased you could come to our wedding,”

The feeling in my chest had me wishing to cry all over again but for a different reason. I wanted to jump and scream at the top of my lungs the name ‘Han Y/n’. The more I said it, the more I felt like a teenager again.

All I could think about was Jisung. His dark hair, dyed one too many times, leaving it slightly damaged but somehow still soft. His big, round, doe eyes. The way he told the stupidest jokes. His voice- not just when he sang, but even simply speaking his voice was one of my favorite sounds. Pressing my hands to my cheeks, I pulled away finding them hot.

“Fuck...I’m in love with Jisung.”

❃

“Okay, I need everyone to give me some fucking space!” I shouted, effectively silencing my dressing room. One by one, my maid of honor ushered the ladies out. I let slip one time that I am having second thoughts and all hell breaks loose.

Sitting at the vanity, my head fell into my hands. I was dejected. Confused. And obviously sitting with a pretty big headache. I hadn’t heard from Jisung since the dress appointment and he didn’t answer any of my texts this morning. It was like he was avoiding me. Eyeing the champagne on table I contemplated drinking the whole damn bottle then just going through with the event. As much as I wanted to get married, I didn’t want to do it to someone I didn’t love.

Standing up, I manuevered the champagne filled vessel away from my body and popped it, the sound letting loose a satisfying echo. The bubbly liquid filled the glass flute I picked up. My first sip was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“I told you guys I needed space! Just fuck off!”

Downing the glass, I turned to pour another one. Drunk ceremony was looking like my best option right about now. The click of the dressing room door opening caused my ears to prick up. “I said fuck off-”

“That’s not very nice language coming from the bride.”

Jisung stood in the doorway, hesitant smile on his face. His hair was almost styled, pieces still falling loose over his forehead. A black blazer hung over an untucked slightly wrinkled white dress shirt. His slender hands were shoved in the pockets of his blue jeans.

“Coming from you that’s rich,” He watched me drink in his appearance. “Jeans, Ji? You come to my wedding in jeans and Doc Martens?”

My best friend rubbed the back of his neck, eyes trained on the carpeted floor. “To be honest....I wasn’t sure I was coming at all.”

I blinked, trying to process the words just said to me. My best friend....the man I loved more than anything in the world...said he almost didn’t come to my wedding. “Excuse me?”

“Y/n....we need to talk....”

My chest tightened in anticipation as I watched Jisung close the door. He stayed on the opposite side of the room seemingly nervous or afraid to even look my way. A hint of a smile appeared as I watched Jisung anxiously turn the silver rings around his fingers. “Ji, have you been avoiding me...”

Instead of answering, the man’s eyes fell to the bottle on the vanity. He motioned to it, wordlessly asking for a glass. Stepping away, I allowed him enough room to cross and pour a glass for himself. He downed the flute like a shot almost making me laugh at the similarity between us. “Didn’t you want to get married outside? In a forest if I remember correctly?”

“Don’t change the subject, Jisung.”

“I’m not.” For the first time I felt like Jisung really looked at me. His eyes seemed to soften. Before I could once again appreciate how beguiling his eyes were, they retreated back to their place on the floor. “Y/n....this isn’t you. You deserve a fairytale ending. Your fairytale ending. You don’t deserve a shotgun wedding in some church with nobody watching just waiting for the hour de vours to be passed out.”

“I’m not pregnant. This isn’t a shotgun-”

“Please just let me finish, Y/n....”

Nodding, I leaned against the vanity and watched my friend’s hands brushed through his dark locks. The silver hanging from his ears glinted in the bright fluorescent lighting. “Y/n...Don’t....don’t get married.” He seemed encouraged by my reaction, or lack thereof. “I think about you a little more than I should. A lot more actually. For a long time. Y/n/n, I’ve been in love with you since grade school.”

A familiar lump began to form in my throat and a pit formed in my stomach. Gaining confidence, Jisung’s eyes met mine. “It’s been killing me...seeing you with that asshole. I know you’re happy. I know that you’re better off with him. He can give you everything that I can’t, because you deserve to have a nice house. You deserve to be spoiled with gifts and trips. You deserve to not come home every night and worry whether the rent has been paid.” Jisung stopped and stared at the empty glass in his hands.

“You always talked about fairytales when we were little. Well...my fairytale would just be us. No magic. No princes and princesses. Cause you’re enough for me. More than enough. Y/n, you’re it for me. You’re my fairytale.”

His eyes widened seeing a single tear rolling down my cheek. Before continuing Jisung watched me with shaking hands carefully set the glass flute on the vanity behind me.

“I- I want you to be happy. If you’re happy with Jiho then I will go out into that church and clap when you get hitched. Because, that's what friends fucking do and that I can give you. But...if there is any chance....any part of you...that loves me at all....even a little bit....”

He gulped, fingers ferociously twisting the rings on his right hand. Not many would believe it, but Jisung was shy. Introverted. It was rare to see him like this. Jisung wasn’t afraid or nervous, but more timid or demure. I could almost see his heart physically stop beating as I opened my mouth to speak.

“I’m not happy, Ji.” He blinked, big, brown, doe eyes trying to understand what I meant. “I want to be. But, I can’t be happy with someone I don’t love. I don’t care about the money or the gifts. I just.....want my fireworks. I think you can understand that more than anyone.”

Jisung nodded dejectedly, shoving his hands into the pockets of the blazer that seemed to be holding itself together with only a few threads. He seemed to not understand what I was saying. “I do....understand- I mean. That’s all I want for you. If you can’t be happy with Jiho or me then-”

“Fuck, Ji. You really are dense aren’t you?”

“What?”

Reaching forward, I twisted the collar of Jisung’s slightly unbuttoned shirt and pulled him closer. Before our lips even touched I could feel electricity in the air, sparking and making room hotter. Finally feeling my lips against his sent my stomach on a rollercoaster; twisting, turning, loop de loops, and free falls giving me the greatest feeling spreading to the rest of my body.

The feeling of my fingers sliding up his neck, must have brought Jisung out of whatever shock induced daze he was in. Like second nature his arms wrapped around me, cool hands pressing into the bare skin of my back. There was nothing but fire in my stomach as Jisung dragged his lips over mine at a painstakingly slow pace. The man smiled feeling me pull and tangle my fingers in his soft dark tresses.

“Fireworks?” I asked, pulling away with my bottom lip snagged between my teeth.

“Millions.” Jisung’s thumb brushed over my cheek before he leaned back in capturing my lips in another death defying kiss. “Did you drive here? I took the train.” He mumbled between kisses.

I laughed feeling happier than any moment before in my life. “My car is out back. You’re driving.”

Opening my eyes, I saw that signature smirk my best friend was famous for. For the first time I knew why my insides did flips when it was directed at me. Lacing his fingers with mine he dragged me from the dressing room and led me through the halls as fast as we could run with one of us in a wedding dress. As we reached the car, slamming the doors shut, the bells in the chapel started to ring making the both of us grin. Jisung leaned over, fastening my seatbelt before kissing my lips like they were his only source of air.

“You make quite the gorgeous runaway bride,”

❃

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amarantine-amirite · 3 years

Text

It's Not Up To You

I never once had any peace or rest. There was a persistent threat that resources and places would vanish without a trace. Even though I never got my ass handed to me daily, I could never anticipate when I would be able to catch my breath.

I had to adapt. I had to be able to alter my expectations faster than the circumstances would change. It forced me to abandon having a set image of what I want in my mind. It took away my ability to visualize. I had to anticipate resources disappearing in the future, so I had a hard time with long-term planning.

Going into the week, I had it all figured out. I had found an iron-clad way for me to have my cake and eat it too. It may not have been ideal, but at least I still had the resources available.

My mother planned to drive me to my piano concert. Because she had a stressful day at work yesterday, she went to the bar. She neither came home nor returned any of my calls, so I assumed she was either crazy hungover or still passed out. I now had to hitch a ride with Jackie and her sister, Henrietta.

Henrietta drove like she had lead feet. “Uh, Ettie,” Jackie asked, “you just blew through a traffic light at”

“Don’t tell me how fast I’m going; I need to know where I am!” she snapped.

“Can we at least stop and get lunch?” I asked. I last ate at 7:00 AM. Bad things happen when I try to function on an empty stomach. My temper gets worse. My impulse control goes to Hell. I bounce off the walls.

“Hell, no!” Henrietta snarled, “If we stop to eat, we’ll get stuck in a traffic snarl!”

“OK, what’s your problem?” I whined. I had no idea why Henrietta got so upset.

Henrietta sighed angrily. “Do you wanna know why I’m so fucking pissed off?" she barked, "Those fuckers moved up my fucking interview by a fucking week. I was supposed to get married today! All that money I spent on the venue, the photographer, the catering; that’s money I’m never going to see again!”

I don’t know how Henrietta could say that without bursting into tears. “And what about Jasper? He’s going to think I broke off the wedding because I don’t have feelings for him anymore. I’m worried. He doesn’t handle rejection well. What if he tries to kill himself again?”

What happened next felt like being in the desert and coming upon an oasis, only to discover it’s a mirage. When we arrived at our destination, everything went up in smoke. Before we left, Henrietta told me that she would drop us off first, then head to the interview. She looked at us and said, “Nobody's leaving until I finish my interview. Understand?”

I nodded. Inside, I wanted to smack her. Hard.

Today has been nothing but hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait. I fucking hate being jerked around like this. The constant stop-and-start made me feel like someone drained of my life force. I can’t deal with it anymore.

Jackie and I came up with a plan. The plan was simple, like Henrietta’s would-be husband, Jasper. Unlike Jasper, the plan stood a chance of working. When they let her in to do the interview, Jackie and I would duck out and go to my piano concert. We’d come back when I finished my set, and that’d be that.

Problem. We made a huge tactical error.

It’s a long story. At the beginning of the school year, the cheerleaders thought it would be funny to nominate Anna Rose, the head of the chess club, for prom queen as a joke. Anna didn’t know about this, but the principal did. On Halloween night, we got something really scary in our inboxes: an official email with the school's letterhead saying that due to “bullying", prom would be permanently cancelled until measurable snowfall in July. A lot of the anxieties that kids channel into what they’re going to do at their prom got redirected elsewhere.

The kids at school got offended. By everything. Like, a lot.

Remember how I said that school has been so hard for me because I have no idea what to expect? Well, this piano concert thing was a perfect example. I had to make a list of not just one song, but for possible songs that I could play at this concert. I need to be ready to switch out songs in case the band teacher changed his mind. He always did stuff like that. One day, you could pick whatever song you wanted for school concerts, and the next, they would say that it had to come from a pre-approved list. So that meant I had no idea what song I was going to play. When people asked me, the best I could say was, "I’ve got a lineup." Lineup was not a good choice of words; a better choice of words would have been revolving door .

This brings us to our mistake: the same reason that I had to keep a revolving door of songs in my mind for the concert was also the same reason why we should have called the hotel where the concert was to be held ahead of time to double-check to see if the school had not cancelled it. We did not do that.

That brings us to right now. We are smack dab in the middle of what appears to be a campus recruitment event. Everyone in the room except for us is wearing cheap suits that fit somebody else, nobody looks familiar, and the atmosphere consists of a general air of anxiety and lack of preparedness.

Five minutes after we arrived, a woman wearing a pantsuit that made her look like a pool table, pineapple earrings, and a name tag that read “Megan Mulroney“ approached us. “Excuse me, ladies," she said, “are you students at The Fletcher School?”

“No, we go to Arthur Vandelay high school," Jackie said, “I’m here with Margaret because she’s got a piano concert to go to.”

I stood up and looked at Megan. “So is that in the Gold room, because I got a copy of the flyer here and it says Hall B, and I don’t know where that is, and…”

Megan cut us off. “I don't know what you’re talking about,” she said.

I handed Megan the flyer. “I’m talking about this.”

She didn’t look at the flyer. She gave it right back to me. “I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here, but that’s a piece of blank paper."

“It’s not blank!” I chirped.

“Yes, it is; and I don’t appreciate you wasting my time like this.“

“We’re not wasting your time.”

“Well then, why am I dealing with two overdressed high school idiots when I have new grads to check in for a networking event?” she said, doing her best impression of a bratty 12-year-old.

“Why are you so stubborn?”

Megan shrugged at us and rolled her eyes in a cocky fashion. “I'm not stubborn all the time. I'm only stubborn when I’m right.”

Big red flag. If someone says I'm only stubborn when I'm right , it means they're putting up a front, either because they don't want to but they're wrong or they're trying to bullshit you.

She continued to puff herself out. “Listen, you’re not special. What happens to you happens to other people, too.”

“Not helpful,” I said as I rolled my eyes.

She shrugged her shoulders. “Well, sorry you feel that way.”

“What does that even mean?” I blurted.

She ignored us. Rather than explain what was going on, she instead attempted to have phone sex with Idris Elba and got the wrong number.

It didn’t stop there. One look out the window told me we’d have to get someone else to pick us up, as Henrietta got arrested. I’m guessing she found out that the job she applied for was posted as an April Fool’s Day joke and she either trashed the office or beat the crap out of the hiring manager. Based on the black eye, I think it was the second thing.

Terrific. Now we have no plan, no ride home, and no idea what the fuck is supposed to happen next.

I’m devastated. I feel gutted. But beyond that, I'm spooked.

This isn't something you'd consider typically scary. It felt like that last photo taken before a disaster. This looming sense that something catastrophic is coming down the pike continues to hang over me.

@writers-are-writers

#writing #writers on tumblr #writers #short fiction #short story #bjork #creative writing

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im-the-punk-who · 4 years

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Hey, I was wondering if you have a book rec

Okay so in full disclosure, I have a really hard time reading books. My brain sometime around six years ago just decided that wasn't its style anymore, so I don't read a TON. A lot of these aren’t going to be recent releases. However, here are a bunch of books I would absolutely recommend checking out! I tried to include a variety of genres but I have uh.....five bookshelves in my apartment so if you're looking for more of a certain genre let me know!

Theatre:

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead - Tom Stoppard

Waiting for Godot - Samuel Beckett

These are my two favorite plays - they're both absurdist, humorous, and have some fun things to say. They’re both by old white guys but like....I love both Tom Stoppard and Samuel Beckett DEEPLY and they have all of my love and respect.

Non-Fiction/Educational:

Why are all the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria by Beverly Daniel Tatum - this is considered a 'classic' on the psychology of racism, and was particularly helpful for me as a white person in arming myself against 'reverse racism' thoughts and in dissembling my own prejudices. This is mostly a rec for other white folks, but Tatum also addresses 'having the courage to sit at the black table' as a way of claiming your own identity outside of the stereotypes the dominant society expects of you.

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown - Okay listen I just really REALLY love Brene Brown, she is a therapist most famous for her TED talk about Vulnerability and this is just...listen I really like to read this book when I am sad and feel like shit because it makes me feel strong. I reread this book at least once a year.

Imagined Communities by Benendict Anderson - This is an absolutely fascinating read on the rise of nationalism. It’s a bit dry and wordy, but the ideas and use of history as propaganda, spinning the story of a nation to pit it against or on the same side as other nations, and the ways in which these tactics shaped cultural history is just!!!! Amazing.

Gay New York by George Chauncey - This is just one of the most informative and interesting reads of queer history in New York that I’ve ever come across. It’s one of the ‘must reads’ of queer history and has so many interesting tidbits that I have to recommend it. It’s a bit old(published in 1994) but I still find it relevant and interesting to read.

Personal Fiction/Autobiographical Fiction

White Girls by Hilton Als - I went to a reading of this book when it first came out. It was so much fun and so eye-opening for me as a baby queer in NYC that I bought the book there. I wanna be really clear that Als does not pull punches and a lot of people don’t quite like it, but I love Als’ style of writing. The stories and essays in this book are amazing and funny and heartbreaking and informative of queer experience - particularly black queer experience - that I always feel like...honored? to experience through writing? This is one of those ‘you’re gonna suffer but you’re gonna be happy about it’ reads - it can be hard to face because of how very hard the pills are to swallow but like....gosh I just love this book and it’s interesting and hilarious and great.

Confessions of an Economic Hitman by John Perkins - this is my tin hat favorite. It hits....ugh. This is one of those books that came out and like every government agency freaked the fuck out over it. It’s an interesting look into the quote-unquote dark underbelly of capitalism; how and why countries manipulate each other through economic policies. Super interesting read with a nice style of prose.

The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to become the Smartest Person in the World by A.J. Jacobs Okay so full disclosure I have not finished reading this, but I’m far enough through to rec it. This book chronicles the author’s attempt to read the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica from front to back, and it is just as kooky and hilarious as it sounds. I am very incredibly and deeply offended this author stole both my schtick and my initials, thereby preventing me from doing this exact thing. I read through the phone book in its entirety when I was three. I had it in me. Anyway, this is basically the author just listing weird interesting facts he’s read about and connecting them to his daily life, but it’s a fun read, and you learn a lot of totally useless facts, which is absolutely my jam.

When Skatboards Will Be Free by Saïd Sayrafiezadeh - HI I LOVE THIS BOOK. I’ve read it maybe three times over. It’s so fun and interesting. You may notice that a lot of the books I rec are very absurdist in their humor, and this is no exception. This book is full of the dry wit and just weird goddamn shit you could only expect from the child of a revolution that never came. You want to read a book about someone who Went Through Shit? Read this book. It’s funny and heartbreaking and just. AHHHH. Seriously I cannot recommend this enough.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosch - FIGHT ME ON THIS. I love this book.....so much. Yes it’s technically a comic book but the stories are so INTERESTING and hilarious and full of exactly the dry absurdist humor I eat the fuck up. Also! Allie Brosch recently released a sequel of sorts called Solutions and Other Problems that I recommend without even reading it.

Poetry

Pansy by Andrea Gibson - IF YOU ARE NOT READING THE POETRY OF ANDREA GIBSON WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING WITH YOUR LIFE. I cried seven times reading this book. There are only like 14 poems. Please please read this to break your own queer heart :)

Bloodsport by Yves Olade - This is a tiny book full of absolutely devastating poetry. Most of it has to do with the grief of relationships, but like....gosh I love all of Olade’s stuff. (Also!! This is available as a pay-what-you-wish pdf!!)

Bright Dead Things by Ada Limón - This book focuses a lot on the author’s experiences of loss, and knowing that loss is going to happen. I’m completely devastated every time I read this.

Science Fiction/Fantasy

The Bartimeaus Sequence by Jonathan Stroud - So what if I am a dumb millennial I love this series. It’s another dry and deadpan humor, with weird additions and Stroud’s use of footnotes to absolutely crack me the fuck up means I gotta rec this. I just gotta. Four(I think?) books following the deeply unlikeable Nathaniel and his Djinn Bartimaeus, who just wants to eat humans and have a deeply enjoyable enemies to lovers plotline with his arch rival.

The Magic's Price Trilogy by Mercedes Lackey - Okay I know I’ve recced this before. I will rec it again. This was the very first series I ever read that featured a gay protagonist and I was. Devastated? Reformed? I latched onto Vanyel Ashkevron and I am never letting this depressed emo boy go. Try me, I bite. Seriously, this book was released in the 80s and yet it is still relevant, I still cry - god i LOVE this series SO MUCH. And, MERCEDES LACKEY actually invented unbury your gays, sorry I make the rule on that one. :) Also there are magic talking horses??????? Seriously please read this series I love it so much.

Fire Bringer & The Sight by David Clement-Davies - This is another series that was absolutely formative in my baby lexicon. These are books about magical animals and their inner societal workings and both books address the ideas of good, evil, darkness, compassion and good will, and destiny. I am obsessed with these books, they are some of the most interesting of the genre I’ve read, and so incredibly intricately written. LOVE these books.

Vampire Earth Series by E. E. Knight - The Witcher before it was cool. Sort of but like...there are schools of Cat, Bear, etc and it has COOL VAMPIRES I LOVE THSI SERIES. Basically, earth has been taken over by a race of alien ‘Vampires’ and follows a human involved in the resistance. The writing in this series is...wow. It’s so intricate and interesting and involved. I own the whole series because I love it so much, including the after-series hardback novels. I’m so messy and I love it.

Kindred by Octavia Butler - You know how people are like ‘YOU SHOULD READ OCTAVIA BUTLER!!’ ? You should absolutely do that. This novel is mindblowing and interesting and the pace and narrative are so so so interesting. Heartbreaking, god, horrific. Butler is an amazing writer and this novel, while my personal favorite, is not by any means the only of her books I would recommend. STORIES. STORIES!!!!!!!

Fiction

The Ballad of Barnabas Pierkiel: A Novel by Magdalena Zyzak - This book is so fucking good. It’s imaginative, funny, intelligent....it’s honestly one of the best fiction novels I’ve ever read. Again, dry, absurdist humor, this book sort of reminds me of Terry Pratchett’s style of writing.

The Call of the Wild by Jack London - This is a classic, a true classic. The social commentary of this book is so so good, London’s style flows and, personally, as a dog and animal expert, the anthropomorphisation of Buck and his fellow animals is just so well done. I love this book, it’s quite an easy read, and I reread it at least once a year.

Rolling the R's by R. Zamora Linmark - Okay. Okay okay!!!!!! I gotta take a deep breath about this one. This book is. Yuh. This is a bit younger leaning than the other fictions, focusing almost entirely on high school level characters, however the experiences and commentary is just so so good. Focusing on a diverse group of characters growing up in Hawaii in the 1970′s, this book addresses the intersectionalities of gender, sexuality, race, immigration, education, and how we define who we are. I’m obsessed.

A Separate Peace by John Knowles - A heartbreaking novel about war, innocence, adolescence, and how we hide from our truths. It’s...so good, this book hurts me a LOT okay. The prose is phenomenal, the story is poignant, and it feels like I’m ripping my own heart out with a fishhook every time I finish it.

The Toss of a Lemon by Padma Viswanathan - This is one of those books I half recommend because it’s so good, and half because of the deep wealth of knowledge it presents the reader. The author’s use of her own culture is just....goddddddddd. Intricate and interesting and so delicately included in the narrative that you can feel the love the author has for it. It’s a long read and it took me almost a month to get through reading every day, but god. It’s so soft and amazingly written I both wanted to read it all at once and take my time with it. This is another one that deals with the duality of humanity and how we connect with one another. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!

P.S. Your Cat Is Dead by James Kirkwood Jr. - I love this book I love this book I LOVE THIS BOOK. It’s fucking hilarious, entertaining, I literally laughed out loud at every single chapter. Hilarious and poignant and surprisingly deep, this book literally follows the journey of a man in which literally everything that could go wrong does. It’s fucking hilarious.

I hope that helped and gave you some new books!!! <3

#long post #book recs #milo writes

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imaginethathaikyuu · 4 years

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kinktober 2020 faq // prologue

alright mothers and fuckers, kinktober is right around the corner and just like last year, we got an faq!

i’m making this post to answer some faq’s and to preface the event, that way there’s one place you can all find all of my kinktober info. (yes a lot of this is copy and pasted from kinktober 2019′s faq, cuz i am Lazy)

PSA: if you’re not into this event and don’t wanna see the posts, please blacklist the “kinktober 2020″ tag, as that’s the tag i’ll be using throughout the month for my kinktober fics!

ok now take this faq:

what is kinktober? - definition taken from fanlore: “Kinktober is a multifandom prompt based challenge that encourages the creation of erotic fanworks, mostly fanfiction and fan art, that focus on specific kinks. Taking place during the month of October.” so basically its just 31 days of smut

what prompts are you using? - these, a prompt list created by myself

can i use your prompt list for my own kinktober event? - sure thing, go for it! you can credit, or not, i don’t mind either way

what does X prompt even mean? - a lot of the prompts this year aren’t technically kinks, they’re just... prompts. it was more fun for me that way. i recommend using google for ones that seem foreign, but there will be definitions or explanations in the note on the fic for those that need them

what characters are you including? - the character list isn’t being posted, characters will be revealed as the scenarios are posted. you know, to add some suspense

is X character included? - if the character you’re wondering about is quite popular, then yea, probably. if not, then, who knows. many people have asked about specific characters, and sometimes i answer, sometimes i don’t. i like keeping things a surprise, so i tend not to answer, but sometimes i like to throw yall a treat and let you know who’s in once the event starts, i won’t be answering any of those questions. just wait and see!

why didn’t you include X character? - there are only 31 days of october, but there are more than 31 characters in haikyuu. because of that, some characters had to be left out. there was nothing i could do to change that. because of that issue, i held a kinktober roster poll a few months back, and the characters who received the most votes were picked first. after that, i chose those who i wanted to include. if you want to see a kinky scenario for someone who isn’t included, i do take requests after kinktober ends, so visit my ask box!

what time are scenarios going to be posted? - i’ll have posts scheduled (hopefully) most days, probably around 3 pm EST. for those that aren’t scheduled, honestly who knows the time i’ll post them (if they aren’t scheduled that means they aren’t finished yet.) i work a couple days a week, so that throws a wrench into times i can post - i really just recommend turning on my post notifications and being patient. please don’t ask when or if i’m posting it - even if they’re not on time, they’ll be up, don’t worry

isn’t this a bit too much smut? yep

i thought i’d include some questions i received on the kinktober poll i put out a few months back, just to spice things up and answer some concerns more directly:

- perhaps go a little further or explore each concept more? your writing is beautiful but for a lot of the fics i felt a tad underwhelmed. Or maybe i'm just really thirsty and wanted more smut lmao

- Maybe make them a little longer (?). I know it’s a lot of work. I could never do what you do so I’m not trying to demand more of you. So please don’t take it that way. I just enjoy longer reads in general. Idk please don’t be offended. I love your work so much.

- I would like it if scenarios were a lil longer but if that’s not possible that’s completely okay! That’s just me being picky bc I rlly don’t have any criticisms

- this was by far the most common comment i received (i only showed three here but there were More.) to be honest, i think i could have done a better job at wrapping up the fics last year. i think the issue was that a lot of them just ended, because i didn’t have the time or energy or ideas to end them well, and that tends to leave the reader thirsty for more unfortunately, the idea of making each fic longer in a way that adds more smut rather than just wrapping it up nicely at a good enough spot is nearly impossible because of just how much work that adds. it’s a lot less efficient to add 1k words to a fic that needs to be posted the next day, when i haven’t even started the fic that’s going up the next week yall are thirsty. there are 31 days of smut and yall still want them to be longer. THIRSTY!!!!! however there are much longer fics this year, so hopefully i can feed you all well :p

Umm there were a couple that had a one-sided kink and the other partner never got pleasured. Whether it was the reader or the character. Like the Tendō one or the Futakuchi one. Favs of mine, but they ended with the implication that more would happen but we didn’t get to see it. And I know it’s not part of the kink, but it’s be cool to include how it plays out from there if you could cos I always love seeing both sides pleased! Sorry if that’s weird

- yeah, that was kind of the point of a few of the kinks i featured last year, and again i think it’s just a matter of ending those stories better. i really hate when fics end in implications for more, it honestly is the lazy way out of a fic, but sometimes as a writer who’s posting a lot at once, i have to take the lazy way and accept that the fic could’ve been better if i had the time or energy or skill for it. i don’t like the idea of kinktober being quantity over quality, but there are rare times where i just have to make that exception in order to succeed with the event. what can ya do!

tbh i wasn't really a fan on semi's! it was great to read when it came out but it was kinda weird to reread when it wasn't halloween

- all i’ll say is i probably should’ve taken this feedback into consideration before writing semi’s fic this year ... anyway

Probably just more research on the said kink(s) you’ll write.

- not sure which fics or kinks this was in reference to, but yeah you’re right i could’ve done more research for a few of them. but sometimes mistakes happen, like with oikawa’s when i got two kinks confused and had to change his prompt last minute, and things slip through the cracks of my small brain. and as much as i can research, i’ll still never know everything about every kink i write about. i think most of last year’s fics captured their kinks well enough, though!

Make some more of the stories, one-shots, type things gender neutral if possible

- i always try my best! it can be tricky with smut but it can be done, and i do always try. i’m wondering if it would be okay or helpful for some to label some fics that don’t include pronouns/gendered language but have a “fem presenting” reader as “afab reader,” mainly because it’s tricky to write smut without mentioning body parts, however avoiding gendered language when writing is much easier. if it would be better than labeling those it applies to as “fem reader” then i would much rather go with that to make more of my fics accessible to more people! i’m not sure if that’d be helpful or correct, so please feel free to give me feedback on this if you have any insight and correct me if this wouldn’t be cool!

please be patient with me when it comes to answering asks and posting these scenarios. i’m kinda pretty stressed about failing, and i’m trying my hardest - even though i started writing these in july, it still feels like there’s not enough time to prepare.

thank you for giving me a reason to even have events like these. i love you all, dear friends, and i appreciate every bit of support you offer me. thank you so much for your excitement, the kind words you’ve left in my ask box and on the kinktober poll, and for supporting my writing at all. i hope you’ll all enjoy this next month of smut!

#kinktober 2020 #not family friendly #posting this now so i can go ahead and add the link to scheduled posts #why am i nervous to post this lmao

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hoidn · 3 years

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Writer Tag Game

@anghraine was kind enough to tag me for this.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 110. they're not all fic, though.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 386,718. again, it's not all fic, so let's call it an even 385K for the fic portion.

3. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?

A Wild and Distant Shore Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth/Darcy

Hearing Light Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth/Darcy

to suppose the truth of it possible Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth/Darcy

Drowning in the Absolute Yes Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth/Darcy

if you came this way Star Trek: Voyager, Janeway/Chakotay

4. Do you respond to comments; why or why not? for the sake of my mental health, i would prefer not to answer at this time. (i’m not being sarcastic. this is actually very difficult for me to talk about.)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? probably Periapsis. Callisto’s just been raped by Zeus. we all know what happens next.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? i really don't know how to answer this. most of my fics have, at the very least, hopeful endings, and i think a lot depends on the context. for example, Elizabeth and Darcy are happy in both A Wild and Distant Shore and Hearing Light, but one is the happiness of a newly married couple still learning the joys of sexual intimacy with each other, whereas the other is the happiness of a newly engaged couple still in the first tremulous throes of requited love and attraction. how do you quantify which state is happier? to use a different sort of example, Harvest ends happily for Griet because she’s achieved a kind of freedom she never imagined, but i don't know how to compare that to, say, Mulder’s happiness at still being with Scully after so many years in and the world keeps beginning. there are different kinds of happiness is what i'm saying, and i don’t know how to judge the relative values.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest most absurd one you’ve ever written? how about we don’t use the word ‘crazy’ here? i’ve written a few crossovers, though i'm not a big fan of them. (as opposed to fusions, which i absolutely adore.) for most absurd, considering that Pride and Prejudice and Star Trek: The Next Generation are two of the unlikeliest canons to combine, Lydia, still has been a surprisingly well-received fic.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? if i have, it wasn't particularly memorable. i suppose it depends on how one defines 'hate' in this context. i know i've had comments from people who have not been happy with some aspect of a fic, or with me generally, but nothing i'd actually term hate. (truthfully? i'm kind of disappointed.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? there are kinds? i wasn't aware of this and i don't know what the categories are. amusing fact (at least to me): my most popular fic by kudos happens to be the first piece of smut i ever wrote. since then i've written a lot more, for a variety of f/f and f/m pairings, including various kinks, dub-con, non-con, and even alpha/omega (heavens to betsy!); however, my writing preference is people who love each other (even if they don't know/won't admit it), and those pairings make up the bulk of my smut fic.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? just the once, to my knowledge, and it was an extremely disappointing experience. a few years ago if you came this way was repackaged into a fic called Hired for Love by someone named cress26. and when i say it was disappointing, i mean... like, okay, i know i'm a solid writer. (that sentence notwithstanding.) obviously i'm no anne carson or a.s. byatt, but i'd give myself a solid B average for overall quality. so i guess i figured that if someone was going to steal my stuff, it would be because of that. but, no. instead of merely suffering the insult of being plagiarised, i was forced to also suffer the much, much worse indignity of having a story that is absolutely freakin' beautiful in places -- and i do say so myself -- taken apart and put back together like frankenstein's monster. seriously, even now, i am still so much more offended by how dreadful they made the fic than by the actual plagiarism. a copy and paste job i could understand! that fic is good, damn it! that is some A-grade shit right there. but how can anyone have so little respect for writing, or for language, just in general that they’d take something and then ruin it to claim it as theirs? ugh, it’s so dreadful.

...wanna see? ;D most of it is still available on the wayback machine.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? i feel like maybe someone did once ask me if they could? but i have no confidence that that actually happened, so i don’t know. anyway, i’ve got a blanket permission statement in my profile, so it’s possible that someone has translated something and i’m just not aware of it. or i was aware and i forgot. these are all possibilities. i’m a very unreliable narrator.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no. it's something i've long been interested in trying, and there have been a couple of people i've wanted to try it with, but i can only imagine i'd be a nightmare for someone else to work with, so i've never broached the topic.

13. What’s your all-time favourite ship? once upon a time i would've said Mulder/Scully but i'm sad to admit that's no longer the case. while Elizabeth/Darcy is now my most enduring ship, i really can't say it's my all-time favourite (though it's in the top 5, certainly). i think, at this point, given the word count devoted to them, and the number of hours i've spent thinking, writing, and making gifs of them, it's going to have to be Walt/Vic. our relationship is only six years old, but those six years represent an output that exceeds all the years of all my other ships combined.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? yeah, see, there's a reason why i don't post real WIPs. (with one current exception that i’m still actively working on). actually there are more than a hundred reasons, scattered across a variety of documents on my hard drive. i doubt i'll finish any of them, but this way no one’s disappointed except me, and i was disappointed to begin with.

15. What are your writing strengths? i'm able to compose grammatically correct sentences and i actually know what words mean. oh, sorry, was that overly sardonic? let me try again. sex and feelings. those are my strengths. i’m good at writing sex and i’m good at writing feelings and when you put those two things together you have most of my fic.

16. What are your writing weaknesses? getting bogged down in details or overly convoluted metaphors, anything resembling plot, actually writing things. (see above re: over a hundred WIPs.)

17. What are you thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i'm pretty sure i've never had any thoughts on the topic. nobody told me there was a prerequisite for this meme!

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? The X Files. the year was 2006 and i was 29. that's right, kids. i was late to the fandom party. also i am middle agéd. run away! run away!

19. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? i don't have one. i feel affectionately towards some for different reasons; there are some i don't like at all; a few i'm particularly proud of, whether or not i actually like them. basically, my feelings about my own writing are very complicated. i will say that i think Darlin', everything's on fire is one of the best things i've ever written. even there some bits make me wince when i read it, though. (and now the song is stuck in my head again. damn it.)

▪︎

i will tag @sarking, @sqbr, @wendelah, and @ziparumpazoo if they feel like it, because they’re the only ones i can think of right now, but any other fic writers who want to participate, please consider yourself tagged. below you’ll find the list of questions (with my edit) for your convenience:

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 3. What are you top 5 fics by kudos? 4. Do you respond to comments; why or why not? 5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? 6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? 7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest most ridiculous one you’ve ever written? 8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? 9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 11. Have you ever had a fic translated? 12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 13. What’s your all-time favourite ship? 14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? 15. What are your writing strengths? 16. What are your writing weaknesses? 17. What are you thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? 19. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

#meme sheep #me and my charms

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girls-scenarios · 4 years

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A Touch

Idol: Heejin (Loona)

Prompt: Hello there, can I request a hogwarts Au fem! reader(Ravenclaw) x heejin (gryffindor) where heejin has a crush on the reader and they start dating after the reader has to help heejin with potions class Please and thank you!! ❤️❤️

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: I haven’t seen the movies in a hot minute, but I’m hoping to watch them during quarantine. That’s one way to spend my time, at least. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

♡ Tip Jar♡

You felt the heat on the back of your neck before you heard the bang. The heat made your skin tingle, and you ducked just as a loud BAM knocked you forward into your table. Behind you, a cauldron bubbled and spit, sending the failed potion spewing onto your robes. The hiss made you wince and jump up, slipping out of the robe before whatever had just exploded onto you could seep through the cloth. A curse lingered on your lips, your nose crinkling into a frown until a low, soft voice stopped you in your tracks.

“I’m so sorry! I must have thrown in the wrong ingredient!” A pretty girl in Gryffindor robes was standing behind the cauldron, her face smudged by her own explosion and her brown hair standing on end. Her lips were turned down in a pout, and you felt your heart skip before you shook your head, looking down at your robes instead. The potion, thankfully, hadn’t left any marks.

“T-that’s okay....” You trailed off, all the curses you’d thought of before disappearing and leaving you speechless. Beside you, your fellow Ravenclaw student Hyewon looked up at you incredulously, like she couldn’t believe you weren’t upset. You’d cursed at other students in potions before, but something about this girl made your heart skip a beat as she whined and wiped at her face, trying to explain herself to her partner, who looked just as shocked as everyone else.

Thankfully, you wouldn’t have to explain yourself to Hyewon, because the professor cleared his throat loudly and stomped over to the offending cauldron.

“Miss Jeon Heejin, do you care explaining how you blew up a potion that is not meant to blow up?”

“I-I must have added the wrong ingredient,” Heejin said, bowing her head and clasping her hands together nervously. Right then, she did not look like a brave Gryffindor. Instead, she resembled a scolded puppy. Your heart went out to her, just as you remembered your classmates talking about her. Heejin, the girl who blew up everything she touched. You’d never been lucky enough to be in a class with her until this year, apparently.

“You have continuously messed up almost every potion we’ve made this year, how have you not learned from your past mistakes yet? Will it take blowing up this whole room for you to learn to pay attention and be careful?”

“I was doing better though! I hadn’t blown up anything yet this year.” Heejin gained some of her confidence back, straightening her shoulders before a well-placed glare from the professor made her slump back down again.

“You’ve gotten almost every potion wrong, not blowing them up isn’t something you should be proud of! How you’ve gotten this far in your wizarding schooling with skills like this, I don’t know, but I’ve half a mind to-.”

“Excuse me.” You butted in, surprising even yourself as you stepped forward. The professor stopped and turned to look at you, his eyebrows raising.

“Yes, (Y/N)?”

“I couldn’t help but overhear your lecture. If she needs help in potions, I would be happy to tutor her. After all, I am the top student in the class.”

Heejin’s eyes went wide, before a slow smile spread over her face. “Really? You’d do that for me?” Her happiness made you feel better about your very sudden decision, and you smiled, nodding your head as you folded your robe over your arm.

“Of course. If that’s okay with you, professor.”

“By all means.” The professor sighed and waved his hand. “Anything to keep her from blowing something up again.” With that, he walked away, and you held out your hand.

“I’m (Y/N), from Ravenclaw.”

“I’m Heejin, from Gryffindor.”

“I know,” you said with a smile, “you’re the one who blows up everything you touch.”

Her cheeks flushed at the nickname and she sighed, trying to run her hands the her now-frayed hair. “It’s not like I do it on purpose. I just can’t get the hang of potions. I’ve never been any good at it.”

“Hopefully we can fix that. Meet me here after dinner. I’ll get permission to use the room after hours and we’ll work from there. Sound like a plan?”

Her smile returned and she nodded. “That sounds great, thank you again!”

“No problem.”

As you returned to your seat, Hyewon wiggled her eyebrows. “Since when do you help the helpless?” She whispered, grinning, and you did your best to ignore her, turning your attention instead to your own perfect potion.

“That’s none of your business.”

When you met Heejin that evening, she’d cleaned up and somehow looked even prettier, the petite bridge of her nose visible without the presence of soot on her face. She’d washed her hair, and it now lay in waves down across her shoulders. Her Gryffindor robe was big on her, and you had a feeling that someone had let her borrow theirs, because hers had looked pretty messed up earlier. Still, she was smiling, and your heart skipped a beat as you walked up to her.

God. She was too pretty.

“Ready?” You asked, pulling out the key in your pocket, and she nodded, looking all too excited. It made you a bit nervous.

“I’m ready! How did you get them to give you the key?”

“I’m the best potions student in Hogwarts,” you explained smoothly, bragging a bit as you opened the door and let her inside. “They know I won’t mess anything up.”

“That’s impressive. Potions is really hard.” Heejin sighed as she sat down at the single table left with a cauldron, per your request, pressing her hands against the seat and swinging her legs. “There’s just so many things to remember and they all get jumbled up in my head. Same with all the stirring and the temperature of the fire.... It’s too complicated.”

“It’s a science.” You walked to the ingredients cabinet as you spoke. “Nobody ever gets it right on the first time. That’s why there’s so much damage control for the first years. But once you get it down, it becomes easier and easier. Memorization and confidence are key.” After a short pause to look at the list of ingredients for Confusing Concoction, you grabbed the things you needed and turned to her with a smile. “I’ll teach you how I do it.”

Heejin was a good student, despite her reputation. She watched and listened carefully and took notes with a sparkly red pen as you explained each of the ingredients in detail and what purpose they had in the potion. Although she was obviously nervous as she stood next to the cauldron, your reassurance that you were only handing her the correct things made her more confident, and she did as you told her, putting things in one by one and stirring the cauldron slow.

You were mostly just watching as she put in the last thing, put the movement of her wrist caught your eye. She was stirring faster. To make sure that you weren’t just imagining things, you watched a little longer. Sure enough, Heejin seemed to speed up with each stir, and you smiled to yourself. You’d found the problem.

“Okay,” you said, stepping forward and putting your hand on her wrist. She startled slightly as you moved behind her, and you realized belatedly that this was a pretty intimate position. Clearing your throat, you moved to the side a bit to give her more space, doing your best to focus on the potion instead of on how good she smelt. “I found your problem. You stir really, really fast.”

She blinked, but let you move her wrist slowly around the cauldron in a slight zig-zag pattern. “But all the ingredients are in, does the speed matter anymore?”

“It’s the most important right now. If everything mixes together too quickly, it can cause an explosion. For Confusing Concoction, you want to stir slowly and make the letter z. That’s what makes it thicken to the right consistency.”

“Oh....” She fell quiet until you took your wrist away, your throat dry. Without your hand, she continued to do the right motion, and a smile came to her lips. “That’s not so hard!”

“Nope. Not at all.” Once the potion was at the right consistency, you reached over to stop her wrist and smiled. “You did it. That’s Confusing Concoction, the very same potion you blew up on me in class.”

She blushed, but she was still smiling as she backed away. “Wow. I really did it! It didn’t blow up or turn a strange color or anything!” Her eyes were wide as she peered down at it. “How can you tell it’s ready?”

“Three things.” You pointed at how the potion stuck slightly to the stirring stick. “First, his potion is supposed to have this thick consistency. Almost like molasses or syrup.” Then you pointed to the clock. “Second, I know that it takes a certain amount of time to brew correctly. Third, the color is correct. Even one ingredient wrong would have made the color off. Since it meets all of those criteria, I have to say that you have successfully created Confusing Concoction.”

“You’re so cool,” Heejin breathed, and your heart skipped another beat. “This is great! I can’t believe I really did it! With your help, of course, but I’ve never done this well!”

You laughed, and wondered why you found her sheepish smile so adorable before reminding yourself to be a good tutor. “You’ll do even better by the time I’m done with you. Now come on, I’m going to get a sample of this to show the professor, and then we should clean up and get to bed. Oh, and I’ve got some reading material for you.”

When the two of you parted ways at the door, Heejin left you with a quick hug and a wave, and your heart wouldn’t stop pounding.

“How’s tutoring Heejin been? I’ve seen the two of you giggling together in the hallway. It seems like there’s a lot more than tutoring going on.” Hyewon cornered you one day as you parted ways with Heejin outside the Ravenclaw portrait (she’d decided to walk you back to your dorms, and you’d be lying if it didn’t make your heart skip a beat).

“Don’t be silly. I’m trying to make sure that she doesn’t blow us all up one day.” You tried your best to scoff like you would have before you met Heejin, but your heart just wasn’t with it. Plus, your heart was beating like crazy, and you were pretty sure your ears were red. Hyewon just smiled and raised her eyebrows.

“But you like her.”

You swallowed and ducked around her, her heart shuddering in your chest. You couldn’t even try and deny it anymore, but that didn’t mean you were confident enough to say it. Not when Heejin looked like a cute, confused bunny, or when her smile was as radiant as the sun.

“Shut up,” you said, for a lack of anything else to say. Hyewon just snickered and followed you inside.

Heejin had slowly wiggled her way into your heart with her cute smile and her soft hair and her scrunched up nose when she concentrated. The tutoring sessions were still tutoring, you still taught her potions and answered any questions she had, but there was more... talking. Getting to know each other. Smiling and laughing.

They’d turned into something you looked forward to at the end of the day, and you wondered if Heejin felt the same way.

One thing was for sure, though. She was improving in potions every day. Soon, she wouldn’t even need your help anymore.

And you weren’t sure what you’d do when that happened.

“Whatever you’re doing to help Heejin, it’s working. She’s improving exponentially.” The professor smiled widely at you, and you did your best to smile back. Usually, you’d love hearing teacher’s praise, but this time, you felt a sense of dread.

“Thank you, sir.”

“You know, if she passes this upcoming test, she won’t even need help anymore. We’re going to be brewing Draught of Peace, and if she can successfully brew that, she can brew anything!”

Your heart dropped. It was just as you’d expected. Your days with Heejin were coming to a close. But you smiled anyway, nodding as the professor looked at you. You couldn’t do anything to hurt Heejin’s grades.

“I’ll do my best to make sure she passes.”

This time of the year was always a blur, only made worse by your worry over what you’d do once your tutoring sessions ended. Before you new it, it was the day of the big test in potions, and you faltered at the door, not wanting to go inside. Was this what test anxiety was like?

“What’s wrong?” Hyewon asked sleepily, bumping into your back.

“I-I don’t want to go into class today.”

She frowned. “What do you mean? You’ll do fine, you’re the number one student when it comes to potions.”

“That’s not it,” you said, and she finally got it, letting out a little sigh.

“Oh, it’s Heejin.”

“Yeah.”

“Listen, you guys have gotten really close. I don’t think she’ll just drop you after she finally passes something in potions. She doesn’t seem like that type of person.”

“You think so?” You looked at your friend, feeling pathetic for being so scared, and she wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

“I know so. And I’m never wrong. Now let’s get inside before we get points taken away for being late.”

The room was already almost full, only a few straggling students still missing, and you turned to look at Heejin before you could help yourself. She was studying the notes she’d taken with you the day before, her nose scrunched up in concentration, but when you looked up and locked eyes with you, she smiled.

“Good luck,” she said softly as you passed, and you couldn’t help smiling as well.

“Good luck to you too.”

As you reached your seat, you took a deep breath and closed your eyes. You were the best potions student in the school. You had no reason to be nervous. You could do this.

When you opened your eyes again, the ingredient cabinet was open, and you were in the zone. You didn’t think about Heejin, even as much as you wanted to. You focused on your own potion until it was done, then sat back with a sigh and a little smile.

You’d done it.

Then you heard an excited yell behind you, and you turned around to see that Heejin had done it too. Her face was flushed from excitement and she’d smudged something on her face, but she’d finished the potion. And she hadn’t blown anything up.

“Very good, Heejin,” the professor said with a smile. “I’m impressed.”

“Thank you!” She beamed from his praise, almost glowing as she stepped away from her table, and you couldn’t look away. Not even when she turned and locked eyes with you, or when she began to walk around her table.

The next thing you knew, your arms were full of one Jeon Heejin, and she was hugging you tight. She also smelt distinctly of vanilla and flowers, and you wondered for a moment if her lips would be as soft as her face was against yours before she pulled away and you snapped out of it.

“I did it! And it’s all because of you!” She was still smiling, holding onto your shoulders, and her smile was too contagious not to smile back, even if you felt a little sad as you did.

“It was your hard work and willingness to learn that made you succeed. I just helped. I’m proud of you.” At your words, the tips of her ears colored pink with pleasure and she glanced down, uncharacteristically shy.

“Thank you. For everything.”

“Of course.”

It wasn’t until class was ending and everyone was moving towards the doors that you had the courage to tell her. Swallowing, you patted her shoulder and put on a fake smile. “Congratulations again. I was happy to tutor you.”

She smiled, but then it faded a bit as your words sank in. “What do you mean by that?”

“The professor said that, if you passed this test, you wouldn’t need my help anymore. But I had a lot of fun with you, and I’m proud of how far you came.”

“Oh.” Her face fell and you wanted to cheer her up, to hug her, to do something, but one of her friends came to her side, whining about how hard the test had been, and she cleared her throat. “Um, I had fun too. Thank you again. I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah,” you said, giving her a little wave. “See you around.”

You turned to watch her walk away once you were outside the classroom, and Hyewon sighed.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I couldn’t.”

“But you guys obviously like each other. Come on, I could have cut that tension with a knife.”

You turned away, clutching your books tighter. You didn’t know why you hadn’t said anything, but the words just hadn’t come out. All you could do was shake your head at Hyewon and say “I know.”

Once the evening rolled around, you found yourself restless. Laying in bed didn’t seem right, but neither did doing homework, and eventually you grew frustrated with distracting yourself and stood up, throwing on your shoes and heading out of the dorms. You no longer had the key, but you figured a walk to the potions classroom might help you feel better.

As you approached, you saw a figure sitting outside the doors, her head leaned back against the wall. Your heart stopped and, for a moment, you stopped too. Could it be? When you started walking again, your heart was pounding in your chest, the beating only getting faster as you got closer and the figure turned to look at you.

It was Heejin. And she was smiling.

“I was hoping you’d come.”

You found yourself smiling as well as you shoved your hands into your pockets and stopped in front of her. “Sorry, I don’t have the key,” you said, even though you knew that wasn’t what she was waiting for. Sure enough, she just laughed before standing to her feet.

“I really like you, (Y/N),” she said bluntly, and your heart did a back flip inside your chest. So this was the brave Gryffindor that had been inside Heejin this whole time. “And I don’t want to stop seeing you. Even if it’s not tutoring, I want to be around you.”

“I like you too,” you admitted, relieved to finally have the feelings off your chest. You felt giddy and nervous, yet it was so right at the same time. “And I don’t want to stop seeing you either.”

“Good.” She stepped closer to you, her eyes sparkling in the candlelit hallway. “Then let’s date.”

“Okay.”

You usually weren’t one to be bossed around. But this time, as you smiled widely and pulled your hands out of your pockets to reach out and grab her hands instead, you found you didn’t mind. You also found that Heejin’s lips were just as soft as her skin when she giggled and leaned in to kiss you, silently sealing the deal with her gentle vanilla-scented touch.

#femifics #loona #heejin #loona scenarios #heejin scenarios #girl group scenarios #kpop scenario #girl groups #kpop girl groups #t:hogwartsau

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olliya · 3 years

Text

@darkgreyfox

Thank you for all your comments and sorry for not responding to them sooner, but I felt they needed a separate post with graphs (which required some free time in front of the laptop for me)

So, first let me quote your remarks:

I can't resist this . Talking about demographics! Nerd in me is excited. First off, I'm for all the hate you received. They can bugger off. It was amazing. Okay, back to the demographics. I have been noticing differences for some time now, in terms of community and fanfic quality. Ao3 is superior in both obviously. I have a few theories why. This is a deduction based on my own experience and rationale, not based on any actual facts. Not trying to offend anyone.

1. Starting point. FF.net, I believe, is the starting point for most young writers and readers. In general, comments seem to be more rude and less mature. Stories more generic and lower quality. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of good stories on FF.net, but there's a lot of low quality starter ones too. In general, the community in FF.net seem to be much younger. Also, personal experience, Ao3 can be quite... Intimidating for young people. The NSFW tags....Yikes.

2. The community There is a stronger community in Ao3 thanks to their comment system. Readers and Authors interact more during the stories. You get a better idea of how the author writes and thinks. Thus, you get more attached to the story and author (in a non creepy way). The stories morph into artworks you witness being made. In contrast, in FF.net, it's rather one sided. No bond. Readers move from fic to fic alone. More rushed, less bonding, less appreciation.

Sorry for the babble. The nerd in me exploded when you mentioned demographics.

So, first of all - thanks for your insight!!! I love discussing such matters!!!!! But, I have to at least partially disagree with your points. I have experience of ff.net since mid-2017 and on AO3 since very end of 2018. And for the vast, vaaaast majority of my time on the platforms my experience on ff.net was in every aspect superior. Only at the very end of TLOS (i.e. autumn 2020) I am able to agree with your impression of AO3 being better.

It can very well be that ff.net is a starting point for younger writers (and maybe it should be, as at least in theory explicit content is not allowed there) and of course, being very much adult myself, I would feel better within older demographics. Especially when it comes to the reception of my ideas - my ideas would for sure fit better to tastes of older people.

But, demographics aside, AO3 has been notoriously silent place. And this *is* discouraging for the writers. Tbh, if I have to chose between maybe not particularly mature comments (though my experience of ff.net is not limited to those!) and radio-silence the choice is obvious... It was my personal, very disappointing experience with AO3 until very recently (mid 2020, fic-wise mid-publishing of TLOS). And even with the positive change happening, I still got more comments for TLOS on ff.net than on AO3.

Also - but it is a matter of very personal taste - I prefer the private review responses that ff.net offers to that open-to-public answers to comments on AO3. Idk - maybe the fact that all answers to reviews are private on ff.net gave you the impression that writers are not answering there? They are, believe me! Just that you cannot really see it if you’re not the direct recipient.

But those are all very personal experiences... And, since the nerd in me was curious about the difference between the platforms (you wouldn’t believe how big is the nerd in *me*!!!), I also checked that in terms of stats. And AO3 is/was indeed very silent...

To back my words a bit up: in March 2020 I made an analysis of readers behaviour on AO3 while in February 2020 I made a smaller, Sakura-ships-limited analysis of reader’s behaviour on ff.net.

Here are the SasuSaku, Kakasaku and NaruSaku reviews/comments stats on AO3 (first row, separate graphs) and on ff.net (lower, cumulative graph). Sorry, for non-consistent presentation, I would have to redo the graphs...

I also made a general comparison of readers’ engagement on ff.net and AO3 (and here the bins and presentation is consistent because it was one analysis).

So, as you see the difference is pretty staggering.

But. There is a big ‘but’. Naruto fandom was on ff.net since 2003, on AO3 technically since 2010, but it was very, very weakly represented for the first couple of years there. And here comes the ‘but’. In 2018 Naruto fandom on AO3 started to gain momentum and in early 2019 AO3 publishing rate took over the ff.net’s one. Analysis is here and here. So, it might be that now (very end of 2020) there is indeed much more action going on on AO3.

So maybe, maybe AO3 has woken up recently? In 2020 there was again huge growth of Naruto fandom, and I do see more comments popping up on other people’s fics as well...

That kind of inspires me to make an analysis comparing readers’ behaviours between couple of last years on AO3... File it under ‘analysis to do’ in that ever-growing list... Ech... Once I have time... maybe in the next life...

#fandom stats #reply

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when-they-write-stuff · 4 years

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I've only just discovered your blog and I'm already in love with your writing. If you want to, could you do 30) “Just remember, if we get in trouble, you're deaf and I don't speak English.” from your prompts list for sterek?

Aww, you’re fantastic! I had fun with this one <3

- -

“Just remember, if we get in trouble, you're deaf and I don't speak English.”

“Stiles,” another voice said, sounding nervous. “That’s a terrible idea. You don’t know anything other than English.”

“Yes, Scotty, but if we get into trouble, nobody needs to know that, do they?”

Derek heard the sound of a sigh and curiously moved across the bar, picking up an already clean glass and rubbing at it like he was actually doing his job. Two kids sat on the stools with their backs to him; one with dark floppy hair and one with shorter brown hair and nervous fingers tapping against the bar counter.

Moving behind them, Derek cleared his throat. They both spun around and the paler one startled with a squawk, nearly tumbling off of his seat. His friend reached out and steadied him at the last moment.

“Can I get you two anything?” Derek said, studying both their faces. The paler one leaned forward with a small grin, amber eyes dancing.

“Two rum and cokes, please.”

“ID?”

The boy with the floppy hair made a sharp noise in the back of his throat. The other kid elbowed him and grinned at Derek again, before pulling out his wallet. Derek took the ID handed to him and studied it, before raising a brow.

“What the hell kind of name is that?”

“Hey, dude!” The kid protested, looking offended. “You can’t go around saying things like that. So not cool!”

“It’s Stiles,” the other boy said, nervously slipping his ID over the counter too. “We call him Stiles.”

“What the hell kind of name is Stiles?”

“It’s my name, asshole,” Stiles said, glaring. Derek huffed and looked from his ID to his friend’s— Scott McCall— and then pushed them both back.

“There’s no way you two are twenty-one.”

“Excuse me!” Stiles said, flailing a little. “The ID says it, does it not?”

“Clearly, it’s a fake.”

“I’ll have you know I am only a few months away from being twenty-one,” Stiles said, with a whiny note in his voice. “And it doesn’t make sense that I’m old enough to vote and live on my own, but not drink. Can’t you be a pal and overlook things just this once?”

“Two cokes,” Derek said, undeterred. “Coming right up.”

“You’re a terrible person.”

Derek ignored him and turned away, grabbing two glasses and two cans of soda. He couldn’t deny that he’d been half-tempted to give the kid a break, but if Laura found out she would have his hide. And that’s the last thing Derek needed.

Scott wasn’t paying any attention when Derek slid the two drinks over, but Stiles was watching his face. The kid had a mischievous glint in his eyes that made Derek nervous, and an uptick to his lips that made his stomach flip. Stiles leaned forward, ignoring his drink, and rested his chin on his palms.

“So, what’s a fine gentleman like you doing in a place like this?”

“I work here.”

“Well, clearly,” Stiles said, snorting. “But come on, dude, you’re too pretty to be working in a club like this. Those eyebrows were made for the billboards.”

“My eyebrows.”

“Very sexy,” Stiles said, nodding. “Ten out of ten. You kind of look like you could tear me apart with your bare hands and I don’t think that should be such a turn on.”

Derek rolled his eyes, unable to help it. This guy was something else. “You’re ridiculous.”

“No, I’m Stiles. And you are?”

Derek stared at him for a moment. Then he grunted and turned away, and Stiles made a noise like a dying cat.

“Wait, dude, I’m sorry! No more dad jokes, I swear. I’ll be good.”

Slowly, Derek turned back around. The mischievous gleam had left Stiles’s eyes and he offered out a hand, fingers wiggling through the air.

“My full name is Mieczysław. But most people call me Stiles because that’s all they can really manage.”

“Mie— whatever— sounds nothing like Stiles.”

“Yes, but Stiles is fun to say, right?”

Derek sighed and took his hand, feeling a little ridiculous. “I’m Derek.”

“Derek Hale?”

“Yes,” Derek said, narrowing his eyes. “What of it?”

“Dude, your sister owns this palace! I basically just called it a dump, how have you not kicked me out already?”

“I’m tempted,” Derek said. “Would you like me to?”

“You know, I’m gonna pass, thanks.”

Derek smothered the urge to chuckle. For some reason, he didn’t feel the urge to give the kid the boot. Instead, he was kind of hoping Erica or Boyd would come relieve him of his shift already so he could sit down and have an actual conversation.

Which was stupid. Of course.

“So, Derek,” Stiles said, putting extra emphasis on his name. “I have no doubts you have people hitting on you twenty-four-seven due to the—” Stiles gestured through the air and then pointed at his face. “Eyebrows. But if I went on a limb out here and asked for a number, would I be successful?”

“Probably not, but you could try anyway.”

“Playing hard to get,” Stiles said, grinning. He was confident in a way that made Derek feel impressed instead of annoyed. It was… annoying. Or something. “I like that. Should I use a cliche pickup line or just flat out ask?”

Derek only smirked. Stiles’s grin widened and he thought for a moment.

“I bet my number sounds nicer than yours,” he said after a few seconds. “Want to hear it?”

“That was terrible.”

“Okay, then. Give me your number, so we can rant to each other during GOT.”

“Seriously?”

“If you give me your number,” Stiles said with a wink. “I promise to spam you with pictures of cute puppies on a daily basis.”

“That was a little better,” Derek said. “But still terrible.”

“Yeah, well if you think I’m terrible at flirting now, just wait until you flirt with me over the phone.”

He was relentless, Derek had to give him that. He nearly considered making Stiles come up with some stupid pickup lines a little more, simply because he was enjoying him trying, when a hand touched him on the shoulder. Derek jumped and spun around.

“Oh shit,” Laura said, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “I don’t think I’ve ever snuck up on you before, Der. Having a nice conversation?”

“Der?” Stiles said, his eyes lighting up. “Oh my god, that’s adorable!”

“Shut up,” Derek said, glaring at his sister. “Laura, what are you doing? Aren’t Erica and Boyd on shift tonight?”

“I could tell you were having fun,” Laura said. “So I gave them an extra thirty minutes. You know what they like to get down to in thirty minutes.”

“That’s so gross, please never speak to me again.”

“Hm,” Laura said, looking over at Stiles. She offered a hand, which he took with a bright smile. “You’re cute, kid. But clearly not twenty-one.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that? I could be!”

“Not dressed like that, you’re not.”

Stiles looked down at himself; his plaid t-shirt and baggy jeans. His face colored red and he shrugged, looking back up. “I’m getting there.”

“Then maybe I’ll second guess kicking you out.”

“That would be very much appreciated,” Stiles said with a grin. “Though Der here tried that line too.”

“Oh,” Laura said, turning back around. “Did he?”

Derek rolled his eyes. Before he could say a word, though, Stiles’s phone was blaring and the kid cursed, fishing it out of his pocket. He looked at the screen, then sighed, flipping it off.

“I’ve gotta go,” he said, turning to his friend. “Scotty, you still with me?”

Scott looked like he’d spent the entire time staring across the club. Derek followed his gaze to see a brown-haired girl dancing with a red-haired girl, completely oblivious to her admirer. Scott’s face was colored pink when he nodded. “We leaving?”

“Dad gets home in fifteen and if I’m not around to make dinner, you know he’ll order a pizza. Or worse, two.”

Derek was surprised to feel a sudden rush of disappointment at hearing that. He couldn’t believe he actually enjoyed talking to Stiles. The guy was annoying as hell, but amusing too. And Derek didn’t actually hate all of his pickup lines.

Stiles thought his eyebrows were sexy.

Shaking his head, Derek turned around and busied himself in cleaning the opposite counter. He could feel Stiles’s eyes on him and for a second, he thought the guy would say something. But then Scott said something Derek didn’t catch and Stiles started away.

Derek glared at the floor.

“Nice,” Laura said, patting him on the shoulder. “You almost had him there, little bro.”

“Shut up,” Derek said, shrugging her off. “Tell Boyd and Erica it’s my turn for a break, would you? And I’m not going into the break room until it’s been thoroughly sanitized.”

Laura only chuckled and started away. Derek glared at nothing for a second longer, before turning around to clean up the glasses Scott and Stiles had left.

Except, there was a napkin left too. One with the worst handwriting Derek had ever seen, reading; “I like your face, Sourpuss. Text me?”

Underneath was a number. Derek shook his head and huffed, but tucked the napkin into his pocket. No one would ever know if he was smiling slightly at that, or if he searched the club one more time looking for an idiot in plaid.

So maybe Stiles was the stupidest name Derek had ever heard. But the kid was a good flirt.

And he thought Derek’s eyebrows were sexy.

- -

I don’t usually do one-shots as AU’s, but this one started writing itself and I decided to just roll with it. Thanks for the prompt, my friend, I had fun!

(Support your overcaffinated (so much so) student writer? Seriously, I’d adore you guys so much). https://ko-fi.com/rh27writer

#sterek #prompt #ficlet #send me some prompts!#balou15

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candrakylar · 3 years

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Every author gets that request hitting up their inbox. An aspiring writer asking for details on the writing process, advice on what to do about a developing manuscript, and hoping your insight will somehow shed light on a mystery. The thing is, there’s no real mystery. Writing is work and it involves exercise like anything good. In the process of explaining this to some of those inquirers time and again, I’ve decided to dedicate a post to writing advice. If this blog was linked to you after sending a similar message, then dig in...this entry is for you!

You’ll notice a handy image included on this post with quick tips to remember. Go ahead and save it to your hard drive, put it on your phone, whatever makes it easier to view. It’s always good to remember the basics. In the rest of this post, I’ll handle the advice in greater detail. Just remember that I’m one author in a sea of many dynamic views. My advice isn’t the only advice and you should always seek out more. So, without further ado, let’s start with the writing advice!

Outline your ideas with detail. That means gathering everything you have together, listing it in chronological order, and separating the ideas into chapters. Easier said than done? Well, that’s the art of writing. Your outline can be edited countless times and you can always detour around it. Nothing is set in stone. The purpose of a good outline is to get you thinking about forming your ideas into the format of a novel. You’ll find breaks where one scene naturally ends and then, voila, you’ll have a chapter! It’s the first step in organizing those ideas into something solid.

Create character word collages. Whether you use thought bubbles around the name of a character or just piles of words, this will help you shape the identity of your characters. By the end of the activity, you’ll have a more concrete idea about who your characters are. This will help you decide how they’ll interact with other characters, the way they’ll respond in dialogue, and even a character’s individual quirks. It makes a fully dimensional character.

Join a writer’s group online. I can’t say this enough because it’s the backbone of any writing process. It’s great to reach out to authors you love and tell them about what inspired you in their work, but that probably isn’t the best way to get solid advice. Established authors get these questions constantly and will generally not give you the personalized answers that will help you develop. A writer’s group of those going the process will be much more beneficial. You can share samples of work, learn useful tips, and feel the synergy of aspiring writers supporting one another. it’s a win-win!

Find reliable and honest beta readers. This one is a given for any finalized work to be polished. Beta readers are your first-run reviewers who can give you helpful advice on how to make a scene more immersive and will find things that disrupt the natural flow to your novel. They reflect your target audience and will be essential to delivering a final product that shines. Some of the best writers I know use beta readers and it reflects brilliantly in their work. Please note that these should be individuals who either belong to a reputable beta readers group or that you know personally. You’re giving them a rough draft of your work, after all, and you don't want it to be randomly shared on the internet.

Listen and grow from honest reviews. Notice a particular word that’s been used more than once in this advice? Honest. Some reviewers will slant things, go with a mob mentality, and give you nothing constructive to work with. Then there are the reviews from avid readers who truly point out things they would have liked to see or ways that the story could have played out to a more satisfying conclusion. Note that I am not saying these changes should be made, as your final product needs to stand on its own with the choices you’ve made, but that they are a growing experience. Each honest review can teach you something about what your readers love and what they’d like to see more of. Don’t get argumentative or arrogantly offended over them. Reviews are opinions, after all, and readers aren’t obligated to share yours.

Read as much as you write. This one is a biggie. As I write in the paranormal genre, I tend to read a lot of work from other indie paranormal authors. Due to a lot of the tropes constantly used in best-sellers, I stick to the indie field to see more original plot lines developed in different ways. I enjoy traveling into a new world and seeing what other authors have to say. I’ve even made friends with some of my favorites! Reading keeps you passionate about your own writing and will introduce you to the vast differences in your own chosen genre. Always read, always grow.

That sums up the entirety of my writing advice. Did you find the answer you were seeking here? Sorry to say but, if you didn’t, then this author doesn’t have any more to give on the process. I’m hardly an expert and there are a ton of aspiring voices out there that will better help you on your way to finding your own career in writing. Keep reading, keep dreaming, and always keep exploring your mind through writing.

#writing #my writing #writing advice #indie author

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murswrites · 4 years

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Guidelines/Rules ⎯ How to Request!

List of fandoms / Request Queue / Masterlist

As a general rule of thumb do not:

Repost my work or claim it as your own

Interact with me outside of my boundaries/rules

Request the same thing you requested from another writer

My boundaries when it comes to NSFW content:

Do not ask me questions about things I like

If you’re under 17, please do not send asks about my NSFW content

Do not interact with my NSFW content if under 18

Ageless blogs will be BLOCKED

Do not send asks about things I won’t write about (seen below)

What does each type of request mean/entail?

*THESE ONLY APPLY TO MYSELF, OTHER WRITERS MAY HAVE OTHER DEFINITIONS FOR EACH OF THESE!!*

Drabbles below 1k words Here is an example

Headcanons are essentially bare ideas/bullet points Here is an example

Blurbs are below 500 words Here is an example

You may not request one-shots anymore as I find the restraints to be too difficult for my peanut brain to handle. If I end up writing a one-shot then hooray! Thank you :)

MORE UNDER CUT

Rules for requesting:

Submit your request via inbox, not my private messages!

I only post the ask once the request is done (or in my queue).

If I don’t end up writing your request, please don’t feel offended. If I don’t feel I can do a good job, I won’t bother messing it up.

I always write with a POC reader in mind! So if you’re non-POC, I’m not sorry. Don’t read it if you’re not interested. I don’t use any defining traits in my pieces unless it is requested. You can still read if you’re white.

All of my pieces (now) have a gender-neutral reader in mind, a lot of my old works have fem!readers so I hope to diversify my work as I continue. All fics will use They/Them pronouns.

I will be honest and say that most of my fics are catered toward Nonbinary AFAB readers as I am AFAB and nonbinary myself so please keep that in mind.

When requesting from prompt lists please include the numbers next to the prompts and the prompt list name. If you don’t, I will struggle to figure out what you want as I have multiple prompt lists.

Always, always include a character’s first and last name. If you don’t there will be confusion and a larger chance that I won’t write it. This also means include the fandom.

Please do not plagiarize my work. That’s a given but I’ve seen it happen to others so I feel I must state it.

Rules in regards to NSFW content:

Do not interact with my NSFW if under 18. know y’all will read it, I did, just don’t reblog or comment on it.

If you’re interacting w/my content without your age in your bio you will be blocked

I won’t write non-con, dub-con or really any super “dark” fics (I do personally like exploring more dark themes with the pairing being toxic so we’ll see)

If you want a male!reader please request as such because I tend to write for female bodies since I am AFAB

I don’t see myself writing thigs using “Daddy” and “Mommy” ever again but if I ever repost my old stuff some of it has those words used. (not in a DDLG way but just in a way of sub/dom)

Things I do write:

NSFW content (within my limits/comfort zone, just ask)

Any LGBTQ+ topics/relationships

Smoking

Drinking

Violence

Gore

^ all of those only typically only if it fits into the fandom for example: Smoking, drug use, and drinking in Peaky Blinders.

Things I do not write:

Cross-overs

Cheating/affairs

Dead!Reader (unless I do it myself)

S*icide and r*pe scenes

Things about miscarriages/births/pregnancy

Romanticized mental illnesses

Fics that are purely about the reader’s insecurities and the character bringing them back up (especially when it’s a plus size!reader. I hate those fics)

Anything to do w/eating disorders

Outside of realism: racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. (say if it’s Peaky Blinders, a gay character is more likely to experience a hate crime than if it was for Marvel)

#murswrites #rules

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airagorncharda · 4 years

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About My Blog:

Name: Nate Age: 29 (I’m bad at updating this, I was born in 1990) Pronouns: he/him/his.

It’s been ages since I’ve updated any sort of info about myself or my blog, oops.

Dfab nb trans guy, genderfluid. On the aro/ace spectrum. Queer. Gay. Neuroatypical (ADHD among other things; possibly dyslexia or else it’s just my ADHD that makes reading The Worst). I have chronic pain. I’m chubby.

Privilege: I’m white, I grew up with financial security while I lived with my parents, I live in a liberal area of New England in the USA, I am able-bodied, I can pass as neurotypical. If I make false assumptions or fuck up because of any of these things please call me on it. I will do my utmost not to make this necessary, and to listen if it should ever be necessary.

I blog about social justice, social issues, whatever fandom I’m currently hyperfixated on, DnD, and plenty of other stuff.

My views have evolved since I started blogging, so if you go far enough back in my blog you’ll find posts that I no longer agree with.

I use my “likes” as storage for things I want to respond to later, or save to my computer when I’m on the mobile app, or research more thoroughly before reblogging when I have time/attention, etc. Do not assume I agree with everything in my likes. View my likes with caution.

I’m a writer and an illustrator, and am a Personal Care Assistant to a really cool lady. I play a lot of DnD and I love my dnd group. I’ve been in a relationship with one of my best friends since we were 15. We are engaged, live together, play video games and DnD, and have cats.

I post my thoughts here. I post my art here. These are my cats. This is my face.

I am not always right. I am still learning.

Do not cite me as an expert or trust my implicitly. I am happy to give my thoughts on and discuss any issue, and I do try to research my points before I make them, but I am not an authority.

My ask box is always open. I will respond privately if you ask me to. If I respond publicly I will tag it with your URL so you can find it easily (unless you ask me not to). I tag all asks with “ask” and all anons with “ask” and “anon”. If you send me an ask and I don’t respond it might be because Tumblr ate it, and I never received it, or because I have ADHD and sometimes I forget to respond to things. In either case feel free to send the ask again. I do not consider this rude.

—

I am careful to always tag for things like racism, transphobia, ableism, etc., as well as death, blood, horror cops, spiders, etc., so people can blacklist them.

I am usually happy to add to this list if you have a phobia or trigger and need me to, just ask. If for some reason I’m uncomfortable tagging a particular subject, I will not be offended if you unfollow me (I’ll also just NEVER be offended by that; you do you)

Some navigation help for my blog:

current events - this tag is reserved for whatever the most recent important (and awful) thing happens to be.

Disney’s Frozen - this tag is referencing all of the problems with that movie (the first one), including general discussion about the sexism in how women are animated. It accidentally became my “misogyny in animation” tag, sorry!

Statistics - this tag is for all posts with specific statistics about social injustice.

real talk - this tag is for short posts that I feel most clearly and succinctly summarize issues of social injustice.

Boost - any post that involves petitions, fund raisers, sales, or other things I want people to not only see but interact with.

Fandoms:

I’ve been in fandom for a long time. I’m here to have fun, and am not comfortable with the current online purity culture of throwing shame at people who enjoy harmless things that you don’t. Fandom is not always about what we wish was real or canon; sometimes it’s about the opposite of that on purpose.

I’m a polyshipper and a multishipper, though I definitely have OTPs and sometimes don’t enjoy seeing those pairs with other people. This is personal preference, and not a judgment on others.

I try to stay out of fandom discourse and mainly reblog art I like. Occasionally, though, I do reblog criticism of fandom specific bigotry.

Just because I reblog stuff from a particular fandom doesn’t mean I necessarily like everything about the piece of media, where/who it came from, or the direction it went. I value fandom because of the power to make the stories we’re given into the stories we wish we’d been given, AND the power to turn stories we love into whatever we’re vibing with at the moment.

Harry Potter was a formative fandom for me, so despite hating JKR I will still engage with fanworks related to it. I tag anything Harry Potter with “hp”. I tag everything relating to JKR with “fuck you JKR”.

Anything related to Tolkien’s Middle Earth stories is tagged “lotr”, anything about the MCU is tagged “Avengers”, and anything related to Avatar the Last Airbender is tagged “Atla”.

I tag anything from the Tales of series with “Tale of” as well as their individual game titles. Anything from MOST Fire Emblem games gets lumped together under “Fire Emblem” but Three Houses is “fe3h”. Similarly, Most Final Fantasy games get “Final Fantasy” while 14 gets “ffxiv”.

Other media I particularly love off the top of my head (and their associated tags), or at least that I often reblog about, includes: Critical Role (and CR2), Phoenix Wright, She Ra (tag: “shera”), Saiyuki, Yu Yu Hakusho (tag: “yyh”), Undertale, The Good Place. Mad Max, Naruto, Miraculous Ladybug (tag: “miraculous”), Legend of Zelda (tag: “zelda”)

Personal tags:

My favorite meta (good meta makes the world go ‘round)

My favorite things on this whole damn site (I love this)

Stuff that’s purely positive (decency, and wholesome)

Things that remind me of my friend group (me and mine and ours)

Mron (things that remind me of and inspire me to work on my sci-fi story about androids)

Embalar (things that remind me of and inspire me to work on the fantasy story/video game/dnd homebrew setting I’m actively working on)

The Fog (things that remind me of and inspire me to work on my fairy tale story, which includes mermaids)

recipes

lifehacks

poetry

art refs (specific tags for: costume design, character design, god design, monster design, creature design, hands, feet, muscles, anatomy, facial expressions, hair, body types, clothes, dresses, fat art, etc., and specific tags for mythical creatures: mermaids, centaurs, vampires, demons, dragons, gryphons, sphinxes, harpies, etc.)

art (specific tags for: sculpture, painting, illustration, music, art history, installation art)

books, games, shows, and movies I wish existed (tumblr books)

furniture, appliances, and house stuff that I would love to have the money to have (want)

pretty jewelry that I want but would never wear because I don’t wear jewelry (for my dragon hoard)

–Nate

#this post is going to be linked to at the top of my blog so this info can stop cluttering up my blog #an update I guess

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yourultraarchive · 4 years

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Reply to @prurientpuddlejumper on this ask:

I’m sorry you’re frustrated or if I offended you somehow, but to be frank I don’t appreciate the tone you’re using here. However, to answer you anyway:

> they def meant the links to these alleged "online generators," because I am in the same boat as anon

First of all, unless you ARE that anon, I don’t think you can say they “def” meant anything, since they never came back to clarify, and I did try my best to answer them the first time, and I seemed to have helped since they didn’t come back to report any problems with my answer.

Second of all, “alleged”? That’s very rude. Just because you cannot see them on tumblr mobile, does not mean they do not exist. Plenty of other people have used them just fine, as evidenced by the many posts submitted to this blog. And as the last two people who’ve asked about mobile access before never came back with problems, I can only assume they simply went on the desktop site to use the generators instead of accusing me that it’s not accessible at all.

> post after post about how you updated the UI or whatnot with no link to the thing you updated

It was only two posts (so far anyway), and if you read them closely, you may have noticed I said I was only working on new updates, that they weren’t done, and that they aren’t out yet. And also that “the current generators are still up” so that people have a fully functional version of the generator to use, even if it’s not as pretty as the update is going to be. So no, there is no “link to the thing I updated”, because it’s not done yet. And as the point of the post was about the updates-to-come, I saw no need to promote a link to the generators that are currently available. Seeing as you want that though, I shall go correct those posts and link it, for your and future readers’ convenience.

I apologize for the misunderstanding, if I wasn’t clear enough about the updates being a work-in-progress. I was just trying to update my actual followers (of which I noticed that you are not one) that I was working on stuff, since this blog is usually pretty quiet.

> I REALLY wanna see it, and am growing increasingly frustrated about how much work you're pouring into this *thing* without giving mobile users any way to *access it*.

Again, I’m sorry this is frustrating to you, and you do bring up some legitimate feedback about the mobile accessibility. As I mentioned, I’ve answered at least two asks about this issue before, but since it’s been a few years and phones have definitely gotten more powerful I can look into developing a proper mobile version. But a lot of issues come up with making a mobile version, namely UI and responsive design (because I’d have to account for both vertical and horizontal orientation, and again I reiterate that UI design is hard), dynamic coding/image generation/data input/font importing and styling/etc., and how to save the actual generated image or at the very least the export/import save data for later use on a desktop browser. It takes a lot of work (more than most people realize, I imagine), so if you would like to help with that, let me know, otherwise you have no right to shame me for not making a mobile version, taking my time, or doing any of this.

As it is, you can actually still access the generator on mobile, just not tumblr mobile. You just have to go to a browser on your phone (there’s a reason my URL is so simple). However, as mentioned above, the template was not designed with mobile in mind, so all the fonts and effects and arrangement on the template itself just looks... not like it’s supposed to. Which, again, is part of the issue with the design, but at least you can access it on mobile, against your claims that you cannot.

Also, I mainly made this a desktop site because of how large the dimensions of the template are, in order to make sure the text is visible/legible even in the downsized preview image. Even when I view the template on my phone, I have to zoom in a lot, and with the current live version of the online generators, it would have made scrolling around to input data annoying. The PSDs, as well, would be inaccessible on mobile as far as I know (if Photoshop Mobile has improved enough to handle all the layers, masks, and effects, I’m unaware) so it was a conscious decision to make this whole thing desktop-only when I first started this blog several years ago.

> Even the "downloads" link you just shared just redirects back to this same page. Which is probably because you've hidden all the links away in "pages" which are completely invisible and inaccessible on the mobile app

It’s very much tumblr’s fault, and I really should have thought of that at first, but again, it was a conscious decision to make this a desktop site. Even if I made rebloggable/viewable posts with the links in them (which I plan to do soon, if only to satisfy mobile users like you), only the PSD download links would work (but again, not sure how well downloading PSDs work on mobile devices), as the tumblr app will still loop back to the blog, since the online generator is still one of those blog “pages”. And that is not changing for as long as I don’t have the time or money to host it on its own domain.

I can’t change the fact that tumblr mobile doesn’t automatically open blog pages in an external browser, so the only solution I can offer you is to take the extra step to copy the url and go into your mobile device’s actual internet browser, or just go to your browser and type in my URL manually.

If you actually couldn’t access the templates at all (which should not be an issue if you “REALLY wanna see it” given that not only did I offer you explanations and solutions for the tumblr app problem, but also that it IS accessible on desktop and you reasonably could have just gone on a computer) or had any other problem with them, I have made no stranger of myself and have always been open to help people. They have been polite or nice when they do talk to me, and I’ve always tried to be cordial in return. Your feedback is legitimate, and I appreciate it, but you really could have worded your implied suggestion a little better. And to be quite honest, I was offended by the rudeness of your reply, especially when you called my hard work a “*thing*”. Those asterisks imply a very negative tone, in case you weren’t aware.

I get the impression that you think that your demand will be fulfilled right away if you make enough fuss about it, but I’m not going to be manipulated or guilt-tripped because you feel bad. Maybe you don’t mean it that way, but you can “grow increasingly frustrated” all you want, because not only am I working on this for free, on my free time, and by myself, but I am also not doing this for you. You’re right that I am pouring a lot of work into this, as much work as any fan artist or fanfiction writer will put into their own works, and I’m very proud of it (both as it is now and what it will be in the future) and I have fun working on it, but this is not my job. And you’re not paying for a service.

I’m not working for anyone, and I have no reason to have made more than I originally did--originally I only made the student template PSDs for some friends, and the generator (which seems to be my most popular template, even though my original focus was on the PSDs) only came about because one of my friends didn’t have Photoshop. And I wasn’t even going to release either of them to the public, but I did, and the villain ones came over a year later because of this blog and the people who follow it. No one asked for a user interface update (in fact, more people have asked for a pro hero template), but I’m doing it anyway because I can and I want to. That’s all this boils down to. Also my free time (if you hadn’t noticed, everything on my blog runs on a queue, and when I do queue stuff it’s usually like 3am or so--including right now... it’s currently 5am actually) and motivation (I’m well aware of how few people actually use the templates compared to how many people follow and reblog the posts, and honestly it’s a little discouraging). So if I do make a mobile version, be aware that it won’t be coming out for a very long time. (Also, I think you’re the only one in several years who has complained about it, and you are literally 1 in... what, 3000+ people? Judging by the number of notes on the original post I made when I started the blog and my current number of followers. And again, you’re not even one of them. So to be honest, I’m really not motivated to work on this quickly.)

If you want it faster? Being nice when you show your interest helps, it’s how I got encouraged to make the villain templates. Though I never asked for much other than patience. Or at the very least, the respect any fandom content creator deserves--I may not be cranking out fanart daily or new chapters of a fanfiction weekly or anything, but I am still providing the fandom with something they can enjoy at no cost. And like reviews on fics or comments on art, many people have expressed that they’re grateful the templates and generators exist at all, unlike you, which is really the reason this blog continues to exist and the generators/templates to be updated with new and improved features. I could have just left my original template generator up there and abandoned it, but I know how it feels to find out a fanart you loved years ago was deleted or a really good fanfic was discontinued. So I’ll continue to work on it, and yes I’ll put mobile compatibility for the generators on my to-do list, but I’ll do it at my own pace.

Also I’m not making money off of this, but hey, if you wanna give me incentive that way, hop into my DMs or something and we’ll talk, but I’ve never asked for donations or anything and I don’t plan to. The generators and templates are free for use, and most of that is because of tumblr, which gave it a platform and a home. If I hosted it on its own domain, I’d need a means to pay for that, and I’m personally not invested enough to do that when tumblr is free and works well enough.

If you or anyone else wants to help change that, come talk to me, the ask box is always open.

Otherwise, please visit this blog page on a desktop browser or at the very least something that isn’t just the tumblr mobile app, because nothing can be done about mobile compatibility right now, and I’d hate for you to miss out on seeing the templates. Hopefully I can look forward to whatever you will create with it.

-archivist

#archivist #prurientpuddlejumper #replies #long post #blog management stuff #kinda

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