#again thank you anon!! i hope ur enjoying urself lol

[dominimoonbeam]

happy friday domini! I swear the check-ins will be back to being weekly soon, lol

how have u been since the last check-in? and yay!! friday cafe writing!!! also, seeing ur laptop stickers always make me so happy cus they're so cute

have a great timezone and remember to take care of urself!!<3 very excited to read any upcoming fic updates

Friday anon!!! Sorry this took me a bit to respond to. I had work this weekend and was barely a person. Things are going good, getting a lot of editing projects off my desk and closer to more regular writing again. I'm definitely settling into the new apartment and schedule. I'm so happy you like seeing the laptop stickers!!! I enjoy them a lot.

Thank you for the kind words, as always, and I hope you're doing well too! Hopefully I'll have some updates soon! <3 <3

[greensagephase]

Alonda, i dont usually comment or ask anything on peoples pages, but oh my god, part nine was AMAZING.

the detail's were astonishing, and the portray of emotions was perfect. reading the chapter felt so unreal, as if i was reading from an actual published book. your so good with your words, i can almost feel whats happening irl. The attention to reader and miguels friendship was also amazing. im so glad we finally got to see them agree they're friends! reader taking care of miguel was also perfect. it sounded just like the way an actual friend would be helping irl, down to the part of helping him shower. which by the way, made me blush a lil bit HAHA. Miguels reaction to the nails on his scalp was so sweet. and the fact that miguel would give anything for reader to have peter back broke my heart. it was really so sweet. im honestly come across on tumblr.

everytime i read your writing, you sound like a professional. if you tol me you had 5 oublished books, id believe it.

this is the one story i think im gonna be genuinely sad about ending. but im also so so happy to see the finale.

love u, love ur writing. take care of urself! drink water, get a snack and some rest.

-anon

Hi, anon!! Thank you so much for sending this lovely ask 🥺 (also, sorry for the long reply!)

I'm so happy to see that you enjoyed the details and emotions of part nine! Your lovely comment about the chapter feeling like a published book - THANK YOU, omg!! 😭 That has to be one of the sweetest compliments I've ever received about my writing. Thank you so much, seriously! I don't have any published books but I've always dreamt about it and hope that one day I can publish some of my unfinished projects.

I'm also so happy that Miguel and reader finally admitted to being friends in their own ways, and I can't wait for Miguel to say it out loud to reader! I'm glad you enjoyed the caring for Miguel. I really wanted this chapter to be fluffy and cute and it be a way for reader and Miguel to get closer and solidify their friendship, so I'm glad you found the ways reader looked after him realistic, down to the shower, which made me feel shy, haha! So I understand the blushing! That part of washing Miguel's hair - omg. I enjoyed writing it so much and it was a bit of a guilty pleasure for me because I think Miguel would truly find it so relaxing? Just the idea of how he'd react to it - AH! I can't so I'll stop talking about it!

And listen, Miguel being willing to give up everything so reader can have Peter back - absolutely broken! He's so sweet and tender 🥹 To still be willing to give up reader and their friendship despite everything he's lost - he deserves the world!!

And aww, thank you, anon!!! I'll be sad once this story comes to an end, too. It's been great having the opportunity to write more in general but even more so because of a character I truly love. I never expected to feel this strongly over a character (I had my moments with others characters but Miguel has really raised the bar lol) but here I am. And to be able to share it with a community that equally loves this character is just so heartwarming. On the happier side, there's still a few chapters left (not sure how many) but I can guarantee you we still have a bit left for this story as we barely just got into the official friendship territory. Either way, I hope you continue to enjoy the rest of the story!!

Thank you so much for reading and for the lovely words! You have no idea how much it means to me! 🥹 And likewise, anon! Please take care of yourself 🥰 I hope to hear from you again! Have a lovely day/night!!!

-Alondra

[particular-one]

PLEASE THE NEW DAN HENG WAS SO GOOD 😭 my angst heart loves that the fact he never got to hear reader's last words would haunt him forever. He probably lays awake at night in bed imagining the event all over again and daydreams you dying in his arms instead of by yourself while he got help 😢

You so get me on the Oikawa simping. If you ever decide to release the hottest mixtape on why he's the most dedicated lover then I will stream it 24/7 😤. And mr.tetsurou!! He would never willingly make a fool of himself but once you get some alcohol in him 🥴 all his repressed feelings are about to come out!!!

I can't think of any requests but I see you currently have 8 in your inbox so I'm soooo looking forward to it on top of whatever you have in your drafts! Also I saw that you're closing matchups soon and that you're willing to do additionals so can you do 3 more for me with the info I sent since you already posted mine, please? (Only if you have the time and energy of course!!! I won't be too greedy for your writing and interaction now heheh) for the fandoms.....ummm...argh, this is so hard because I literally am in all those fandoms 😭 If any characters from any of your given fandoms jump out at you then I'll take them but if nobody comes to mind then I'll choose genshin, honkai and you can literally choose the last one for me hdjsks IM SORRY IM SO INDECISIVE 😣 we literally have all the same fandoms so it's so hard for me but I promise I'm not picky and I'll love whatever you write anyways so no stress LOL

I'm sitting in the doorway and just took my shoes off as I write this bc i got the notifs that you posted but i hope youre having a good day/night wherever you are!!💕💖

-🐰

teehee oh that was definitely the intention. i think it just adds to the heartbreak even more that he should have stayed by ur side for your final moments.... oh well! i love to give my comfort characters the biggest hug but simultaneously dump a truckload of angst on them .... whoops. wooHOOO oh yeah. watch me become oikawa's defense lawyer AND brand new pr manager, just going "dw sweetheart i will take care of you".... but in all seriousness, there is just so many layers to him that i really love abt him!! tbh he's probably the first few characters i really invested in analyzing, which is what got me into literary analysis and writing haha. waaa thank you! 🥹 ngl most of the stuff in my inbox are matchup requests but i rlly enjoy writing those anyways. i still have an angst idea that i would like to write out (it's been sitting in my brain since yesterday ngl) but i still have one more final to finish so maybe later this week! oh! but an anon did request for a scenario for kuroo and oikawa based on our convo so! 👀 hopefully i can get that out pretty soon<3 and on the topic of the matchup, definitely, yeah!! i think i did genshin for u already BUT i can always do a second genshin since there's lots of charas if u'd like :> keeping the last fandom a surprise till i post it. thanks for the ask as always and take care of urself! <3

[spaceyflowerswriting]

Not a request just a question out of curiosity. How did you feel when you first started out writing fanfics for a particular fandom? Have you always been passionate about writing? What is your method to know a character better so as to make your works seem close to their original personality?

I love your works, they genuinely make my day and would love to write for lookism one day as well and you're my biggest inspiration ❤️ hope you have a wonderful day :)

[Don't have to reply if you don't feel like it]

i got REALLY wordy so things are under a cut!

anyways can i just say this is such a sweet message 😭😭💓💕💓💕💞💖💞💕💓💖💞💘

thank u so much for sending this ask !! it always means the world to me when ppl express care and curiosity about other's creativity journeys :'] 💖

this goes for u, too, anon; if ur comfortable sharing, i'd love to hear ur own answers to ur questions! <33

how did you feel when you first started out writing fanfics for a particular fandom?

i started when i was around 9 and was very excited to share so thats what i did :] but over time i grew insecure and felt my old stuff was stupid lmao so i deleted it all off the web and then writing became a private thing for me for a very, very long time (writing like 40k, 38 chapters worth of stuff just for me 😭). i've wanted to share during my last few fandoms but never got the courage to until i got into lookism/viral hit !

(well, actually, i did share some writing during my "obey me!" phase but it was just text convos lol)

naturally, i was nervous putting my writing out in the world again esp bc the last time i did was when i like 11-12, and i was 16 when i wanted go public with my writing again 😔 im very glad i pushed myself to tho, bc its basically been a year now and i've had a blast!

i never imagined so many people would like my silly writing, enough to send in requests T_T 💕💖

have you always been passionate about writing?

kind of,,? i really only got into it because of fanfiction lol but i did consider becoming an author for like. a week of my life sjdhwhdj so really it's just a hobby i do since im the walking definition of "speaks little but thinks a lot"

gotta put thoughts down somewhere yknow? and at the end of the day, writing to me is just what art is to me; it's for fun and to express myself. sure, i wanna get better at both, but if my stuff turns out "objectively" bad, at least i know i had fun with it :'D

(that's my philosophy with art in general; make "bad" art!! have fun!!! enjoy life!!! i hate comparison/competitive things!!!! lets all just have a nice time being kind to each other!!!!!)

creative writing is very cool tho and i have a bunch of ocs i'd love to write stories for, but the artist in me is saying i want to do them webtoon style ;_;

what is your method to know a character better so as to make your works seem close to their original personality?

going to be honest, im not the best person to ask for this 😭 im the world's most casual writer and i take my "just have fun with ur art" thing very seriously;;

i.e. i just keep note of how a character acts throughout a story, characterize them along the way, and then use that as my base for any writing i do of them 😭

um. i also (re)read fandomwiki pages of them, if any, to double check for stuff 😭😭😭 occasionally i rewatch/reread moments of them in their stories when i want to look for something specific but otherwise it's just me going "hm would this character do this?", comparing it to my base, and reacting accordingly!

other times i straight up go "yeah they probably wouldnt do this BUT it would be cute so im going to do it 😍"

so, if nothing works, just let urself be self indulgent <3 unless u do want to take ur writing more seriously than i do, then uh yeah it would be much better for u to look up advice from people who take their writing more seriously ^_^"

final notes

thank u for liking my stuff, im very happy to hear they make ur day ;__; 💖💕💓💞 plus saying im ur biggest inspiration too is so,, ueueuueu,,,, ;;__;; 💞💘💞💞💘💕💖💘

i really hope u get around to writing for lookism or any other fandoms/original works!!! i wish u the absolute best with you and your writing journey, and feel free to tag/dm me with anything u write!! i'd be happy to support :]

hope you're having a wonderful day, too 💖💖

[wooahaes]

hii its tattoo anon again <3 i just wanted to update you i loved cheols part of uts and cheol is one of my biases and i am so in love with his part!! i found this series almost a year ago and its bittersweet now that it has ended. i am so excited to see what comes next for the poly fic and your new works in general. i also hope that u saw my last message!! also i wanted to ask because idk if i didnt realize it or missed it but did you ever reveal who gave mouse the little stuffed mouse? if im not mistaken was it jeonghan? i have been wanting to figure out who it was but idk if i got it wrong lol. have a good day!

omg hi lovely!! i 100% saw ur last message and meant to respond and then. either forgot or got busy w school stuff, im blanking on which is it which probably just means it slipped my mind :( sorry!!

im literally gonna copy it over here and answer both this ask + the previous one to make it easier so uhh long response under the readmore !! i hope that's okay :(

okie dokie ill address this ask first

hi!!! you've been following the series since like... very close to the beginning then haha which is v v sweet and ill sob rn!!

i think i mentioned jeonghan working on the lil plush mouse during cheol UtS but didn't address it further, but yes! it was going to come up during poly fic at some point where he made all of the plushies for each person as a way of like. giving ppl comfort, esp when they show up & don't join the group at first (so that they have Something there w them, im the kind of person who needs something in my arms in order to sleep haha so that's where it's mainly coming from).

and for ur last ask:

hi its me again the tattoo anon LOL. i just wanted to reply to what you said and im so glad that i made you happy with what i said and i genuinely mean it. this is a little vulnerable but ever since i started liking svt i think a major reason why i love them so much is because they are a big group of friends and i have friends, but not that many so stanning svt in general is so comforting because of the closeness of all of them but finding this fic was like. a fucking dream for me because them being such a big close knit group and it being like the found family trope is perfect and the way you write and portray them is so comforting. genuinely i meant it when i said its one of my favorite things i have stumbled upon in my life, i have shared this story with my friends and they love it too and when we watch some edits of seventeen or see something in general that reminds us of this fic we say “this is so under the sun coded” and its like an inside joke with me and my friends. you literally changed the trajectory of my life with this fic lol. when im having a hard time in my personal life i come back to this little world u created by either just thinking about it before i fall asleep or rereading it and i want to thank you for being a writer. i hope you enjoy writing what you write bc i know that i certainly enjoy it and i hope you are proud of urself. anyway i think selling subtle stickers would be so awesome and i will definitely buy them. also since i submitted my last ask i have thought about little ideas for a tattoo maybe?? like what about like a small drawing of a church and like 13 little people around it with a little sun?!? or flowers like you said OR getting little drawings of the animals each person has? i think that would be so cute. or like maybe a little sash blindfold?? anyway ur awesome i love u thank u

the first time i tried to answer this ask, my long response ended up deleted bc i switched tabs for a second to check something and then tumblr just... deleted it??? which was v frustrating, kind of makes me hate the new post editor a Lot!

but to be vulnerable as well, i think i started writing UtS at like... a difficult point in my life? not difficult as in the painful way, but difficult as in 'there's a lot going on right now and i've never felt more alone than i do now' i guess? it's like... i started writing it right before my final semester of college, and i'm an online student, so i don't get to go out and be in a classroom with other people. sometimes i call myself an introvert when i think the term 'ambivert' has always fit more--i don't detest being social, i do tend to enjoy it! but i still need alone time to make up for it since it's draining. and idk, i was lost for a while on who i am and what i want to do with my life?

and i feel like writing UtS has put me in a vulnerable position to like... question a lot more about myself as a person. i have friends, sure, but no one i go out to see in person since i'm not exactly like... in a good place for that kind of interaction (deep south bible belt, haha... makes not being straight something i struggle with sometimes). i think the important part of UtS is the acceptance they all have for one another, and it's something i personally wish to have a lot more of in my offline life. i think even if i had the idea without darl+ing, it would have ended up being a svt fic due to how close they are and how much they care for one another.

also tbh i just love the found family trope. i love the idea and process of choosing your own family in a sense and saying 'these are MY people and i love them' ig.

also u showing the fic to ur friends + the comment abt being like 'this is UtS coded' ill SOB!!! i will!!! thats literally so cute and sweet of u!!! (pls feel free to send me any of ur 'this is UtS coded' thoughts i would always love to hear them haha)

but like. this is why i write. i like being able to impact people and help them escape life and be happy for a while. its why it always means a lot to me when i get feedback on my work and see people be happy with what i write (... even if sometimes its angsty haha--moving people to feel is a huge compliment by itself!). im glad you have UtS. im glad i have it now, too.

i do enjoy writing, btw, and i loved writing uts. even with the frustration periods where i didn't touch it for a while, i genuinely enjoyed writing uts a lot. i think i owe a lot of that to people like you, who read it and show support for the series! its always easier to read something when i know there's someone who will enjoy it. i remember smiling hard when i rewrote the ending to cheol uts bc of how fucking stoked i was to share it tbh!!! also bc i messaged savv 'lol this is gonna be devastating (/pos)' at one point i think sdkfhsdf but i was genuinely excited to finish it and get it out to u guys!! i dont know who i would be if i didn't write, and despite like... all of the bad shit that's happened in my life that i've turned to writing to pull myself out of it, i don't think i'd ever give it up. i think it's too deeply a part of me to ever give up. maybe one day i'll get published lol

ill definitely put more thought into subtle stickers for UtS (and maybe some other series haha cant remember if i mentioned that last time but UtS felt like the bigger one)! might have to ask around my friend circle for tips on designing them >:3

ohh i like ur tattoo ideas :0 im not sure what would look good so i hope u consult a tattoo artist with ur ideas eventually!! the idea of the lil church w a sun + 13 ppl is rly cute? if u do the sash-blindfold thing, u could always have a lyric inside of it or something if u wanna play w that :3c pls feel free to keep me updated further!!

sorry i didnt get to this ask until now but i hope u are doing well mwah mwah have a good day ur awesome ily

[cinnaminsvga]

Wowowow its SO funny that you would say to read tlhc next bc thats exactly what i had been doing. I cant believe you set me up for heartbreak like this 💔😭 it was really good too but I'm soft and it made my chest hurt so i had to go find some fluff and then come back to your masterlist...and then i read locked out of heaven and had to go find fluff AGAIN you meanie 😔 but i did want to say that i really really love that you have characters that are just awful people without them really having a reason to be

Anonymous asked: I read till death do us part and 🥺🥺 they make my heart go doki doki it was so cute. No fluff break for me this time but looks like next in the list has angst so rip in fckn pieces my dear heart. Very excited bc i love mafia aus tho 🤧😔🤘🏾

i'm gonna guess that these two asks are from the same person lol but omg you're fr going thru my smau masterlist JSHDJASHDJS well i'm glad you're enjoying both the heartache and the laughs lol

YOU READ TLHC AND LOOH BACK TO BACK I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS HASJXKCASJDKAJS that's literally like... the worst combo... i am so sorry... LMAOOO and what's worse is that looh ends on a terrible cliffhanger so i am doubly sorry for that anon ;w;

ngl, tddup is probably my fave smau after tlhc... it's literally just so fucking ridiculous and weird and i just liked the concept for it!! 300mdh on the other hand... not really my best work if i'm gonna be honest :// i love namjoon to pieces and i just feel like i didnt characterize nor plan that smau well enough so yea i'm sorry if it's crap ;w;

all that's left for you is lib and dorm duels... rip dorm duels, the last project that i started that still has yet to receive an update 🥲 to all my dorm duels readers... i have failed you (let's all just keep praying for a comeback ig LOL)

[onwriting-hrarby]

Hello I hope ur doing well

I’m new on tumblr and I don’t really know how it works here sorry lol

I wanted to talk about ur twitter dilemma

When it comes to the pros and how it would be good for the fic since it would gain readership I agree with u on that , I only use twitter to follow fan artists and writers,there is actually an account on twitter that post about EM fanfics and it’s there where I first found out about ur fic ( I’m in love with it btw ur such a good writer ) , so I don’t see a problem on using twitter to promote ur work it can be beneficial, I would advice to only interact with people who enjoy what u write and block any hater u encounter just for the sake of ur mental health and to better enjoy ur time there because as much as Twitter Is amazing with the fanarts and all ,there is a group of people that better be avoided and the haters are always gonna hate no matter what so it’s better to just mute them and move on.

When it comes to the cons I understand ur concern I don’t really know what happend to u on there from what I could understand Is that u got canceled and I’m sorry it happened to u People can be so insufferable, so if u don’t wanna come back it’s understandable at the end of the day it’s ur choice. Twitter is known to be a toxic platform and aot is already a toxic fandom so what can u expect from this combination ,so if u decide to go back on twitter just follow and interact with the people who enjoy the same things as u and share ur interest focus on the things that u love and only surround urself with them. For me I personally deleted the app from my phone and when I wanna check what’s going on there I just use google to log in,scroll down for a bit and log out it’s easy to forget abt the app when it’s not on my Home Screen.

Just like I said at the end of the day it’s ur choice and really hope it works out for u no matter what u chose to do . Again I enjoyed ur fic so much and love ur writing style , u artists and writers deserve so much appreciation ur literally carrying the fandom on ur Back , so thank u so much and best of luck on ur work , have a great day☺️

Dear Anon, thank you very much for this nice input! You're right in all the senses—it's fun, too, that you don't have twitter on your phone! I started like this and then I decided to move to no smartphone, so I can't connect to social media during the day, hehe.

I might take your thoughts into account. I am thinking of not interacting on Twitter anymore, though, just put up the chapter when it's up on ao3. And because as you say, it comes handy for authors who don't have a huge readership/subscribers. I think I know which is the EM fic tweet! I am always indebted to them.

I think, for now, Rotten Judgement won't be on Twitter. I think I will let the account expire, and maybe give me some more time to come back if I feel like it on a future (and I can keep my username).

I am so glad you're liking my fic! Don't hesitate to tell me what you think, either in ao3 comments or in here. I would love to hear your thoughts!

[inkykeiji]

hi clari b i wanted to say that im (sort of) new to ur blog as ive binged ur touya-nii series like 10 times through like youre v talented and i wanted to say that i can’t listen to sia’s ‘snowman’ without thinking of ur series and i seriously get so giddy????? youre just amazing and i hope ur doing well and esp. taking a break for urself! (sorry if u didn’t want comments about fics rn i just wanted to say ‘snowman’ has a special place now for me lol)

aaah hello!!! welcome!! i’m super glad to have u here hehe <333 and i’m overjoyed to hear that you enjoy my touya-nii series so much!!! thank you for such kind compliments sweet anon, i really appreciate them!! <3 HEHEHE awww shhh that’s so CUTE but come here i’ll let you in on a secret,,,,, i also get super giddy when i hear that song!!! i had a blast writing that series and i’m super proud of it; it’s very special to me and writing touya-nii has become somewhat of a comfort to me, so whenever i hear the song i get all nostalgic and soft hehe <33

but aaaah again thank you so much for your lovely words!!! <333 i can’t tell you how happy it makes me, and how meaningful it is, to hear that my work has a special place in your heart/life. that’s honestly one of the best compliments i could get as a writer, so thank you so much for sharing that with me <3 & omg sweetpea i always always always welcome, enjoy, and am grateful for feedback etc about/surrounding my writing!!! <3

[irwinkitten]

got lucky | c.h

requested by anon: ok so for the bi!reader concept: last year i ended my relationship w this girl the main reason was because she was really insecure and jealous especially about me being bisexual like anytime i would talk to a guy she would just get so upset about it and she would make such gross biphobic comments and at the time i had so much internalised biphobia that i tried to convince myself i was gay n stayed in the relationship longer than i should have because i rly liked her i guess lol anyways (1/4) we ended and a while afterwards i started seeing this guy who i’d known of for ages (friends of friends type situation) but we just never really talked before or hung out but from the first date we clicked and the sex was crazy good like the type of sex were ur ditching ur vibrators cuz he’s that good lmao so one weekend we went to this party together and of course she is also there, i was so surprised and i could see her eyeing us the whole night, so when she came over i was anxious af (2/4) and this guy knew i was bi! it was no secret, i worked really hard to accept myself! so she comes over and she deadass goes “are you straight now? i knew you would end up with a man!” and she’s all smug but also hurt and im standing there like what the fuck and THEN this dumb man goes “ha guess the sex is so good i made her straight again” and i’m literally about to cry over how gross the whole interaction is and im so shocked i can’t even defend myself, i dumped him that night obviously (3/) last messgae: so basically can you pls do a redo of the gross situation where instead of being with that dumb guy its with calum and he is so protective n sweet n NORMAL n encourages u to stand up for urself about bisexuality / your sexuality, because what happened to me happens too often and its disgusting and gross and no one deserves that!! only if u feel comfortable/inspired tho, no pressure!! love u laura, thank u for creating such a safe space for all the queer babies it means a lot 💘 notes: i kinda enjoyed writing this one esp for my sweet anon baby. i love u and i hope this is everything you wanted ♥  warnings: biphobia, implications of emotional abuse

word count: 3.2k

donate to my ko-fi here

-

“Hey what’cha doing sweets?” Calum’s voice pulled you from your musings, your hand idly tracing patterns against the paper but the pen remaining on the desk. You wrenched your thoughts from the spiral you seemed to have fallen down, a smile crossing your lips as you felt your heart flutter at the sight of him.

“Nothin’. Just thinking.” You finally replied as he pulled up one of the spare chairs next to you, the bustling activity of the coffee shop falling into your background noise as his thigh pressed against yours.

“Really? Normally you doodle when you’re just thinking.” He countered with ease and your eyes dropped to the paper, noticing that the pen remained where you’d placed it when you first sat down. Subconsciously you must’ve realised that the route your thoughts had gone were not suitable to put down on paper, your fingers picking up the pen and mind falling blank immediately.

“Oh.” You breathed before placing the pen back down and packing away the pad and pen.

“What’s running through your head, doll?” Calum’s voice was quiet and concerned, you shrugged.

“Just, a lot on my mind is all. You’re not my keeper just because we’ve slept together.” You admitted quietly and he frowned before picking up his bag and for a sinking second you thought he was going to walk off, but instead, he took your bag from your hands and slung it over his shoulder. 

He looked back at you expectantly and you sighed before standing up, leaving the coffee shop with him, your eyes on the floor as you fell into step next to him.

“Your place or mine?”

“E’s gonna be home and I don’t want to hear them rant about me bringing people back.” You muttered and Calum nodded. 

“I think Ash is out. He’ll probably head out to Luke’s if I show up with you.” At his smirk, you rolled your eyes fondly before shoving him towards the bus stop. His indignant “hey!” was only ignored as you two waited for the bus, his arm slung over your shoulders.

Selfishly, you leaned into his touch, trying to ignore the fact that your stomach was doing flips at his touch alone. 

The bus journey was a quiet ten minutes, but Calum seemed to understand that you weren’t willing to talk with so many people around, so he was content to just keep you close, and you were unwilling to pull away until his stop came up.

When you reached his shared house with Ashton, you noted that the car was gone from the driveway and Calum smirked.

“Looks like he’s out. C’mon.” His hand tucked around yours and pulled you inside. And for a second you wondered if you could distract him with sex, but then the guilt appeared and you could feel the tears of frustration appear as your thoughts swirled and you felt dizzy.

Calum had stepped ahead, turning to see you stood leaning against the closed door, head in your hands and he knew something was wrong. Stepping back to you, he dropped your bags and took your hand in his, pulling you upstairs to his room and your stomach twisted uncomfortably.

“Cal I-”

“I’m not suggesting that.” He muttered. You fell silent at that and as he pulled you into his room, you felt unsure, but he gave you no chance to really deny him as he crawled into bed before opening his arms out to you.

“Cal.”

“I know you. You don’t do emotional stuff well but I’m here for a cuddle and an ear if you need it.” You fell into the embrace easily, your head resting on his chest as his arms wrapped around your shoulders, his lips finding your temple as you finally felt something in you snap, the surge of emotions overwhelming and frighteningly vivid. 

“I keep telling myself that I never was a lesbian, that I still found men attractive but Poppy made me feel like having that attraction was stupid since I was dating her and that I was a lesbian and it’s so fucking confusing because I like you, but I can hear her voice screeching that I’m not right, that I’m a lesbian or faking it or a freak.” And for the first time since you left Poppy, you cried.

Calum had been waiting for this. When the split had happened, you’d been ready for it, you’d already left her mentally, but this was what he knew you needed. He knew that the relationship with her had been toxic, but you’d never revealed the extent of her behaviour. 

His heart broke.

“Just because you like both men and women does not mean you should feel so guilty over your sexuality. There’s a B in LGBT for a reason, doll. That’s you. You’re bisexual and you should be proud of that, not ashamed because some bitch with a control issue couldn’t handle the fact that you liked more than women.” 

You found yourself gripping his shirt with your fists as you pressed your face into his chest, trying to stem the tears that seemed relentless. But Calum held his silence whilst you got it out of your system, knowing that you needed to get this off your chest. 

“I’m sorry.” You finally got out, but he simply shushed you. 

“She was a shitty person with an attitude to show. You shouldn’t apologise for the bitch.” His words were simple but it gave you a breath of ease, pulling away as hands rubbed your shoulders gently. 

He was definitely too good to you, but he was there for you regardless and you were certain that you loved him for that.

“There’s gonna be a party on the other side of town in a couple of weeks. Ash took over the old Firefly down on Hartley. He’s revamping before opening the bar to the public. You fancy going?” And you smiled at the gentle distraction he was offering. 

“We get at least a free drink if we show up, right?” And Calum laughed as he kissed your temple. 

“He wouldn’t say no to me. Or you. In fact, I’m almost certain he’s expecting me to do full introductions on that night since Luke and Mike will be there with the others and their girls.” You rolled your eyes. 

“It’s not like I went to school with Luke or anything.” Came your sarcastic retort and Calum laughed as the two of you settled for the evening. 

“Pretty sure Luke last saw you when you started dating Poppy. He’s put two and two together but he won’t say anything unless you mention it. Even then he knows it’s not his place.” Your heart seemed to swell another size in affection for Luke. 

“You’re making it difficult for me to not fall in love with you Cal. Good dick, you know how to use those lips and fingers of yours, you make me feel like I belong and you respect boundaries without me having to ask.” You finally muttered and Calum gave you an almost wistful smile. 

“You may have been with Poppy but that didn’t stop me from being friends with you. You’re someone I’ve genuinely cared about from day one. Not gonna chuck that away because of who you are. Plus growing up with my mom and sister almost made certain I’d be in touch with my feminine side.” He teased but the sincerity and understanding in his tone eased your shoulders. 

Your features softened at the admittance and you pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Then I definitely got lucky to have you in my life at least, falling in love or not.”

—

When the day of the party rolled around, you felt sick with nerves and you couldn’t understand why. 

When Calum rolled up to pick you up—he was driving to Luke’s who lived closest to the bar and you’d both get a ride back to yours before he picked up his car the following morning—he could see the nerves and the grimace on his face spoke volumes. 

“What?” You all but demanded when you were debating outfits. He’d been sitting on the bed watching, but got up and held his hands out to you. 

You took them hesitantly. His thumbs almost immediately started to soothe across the back of your hands to help relax you. 

“Word has gotten around that Poppy is planning to show up. We haven’t exactly been quiet about our relationship, but I didn’t think she’d pull something like this.” And your stomach churned uncomfortably. 

“We’re still going. Ashton promised free drinks and we’ll be in the VIP area right?” You checked and Calum nodded.

“Ashton has already told the bouncers that she’s not allowed near the VIP section. They’re checking and rechecking the lists to make sure she isn’t on one of them.” He explained and you let out a breath of air. 

“Okay. It’ll be fine. It’s being handled and I’ve got you. Now which outfit do you think I should wear?” He studied your face for a second before a smile broke across his lips. 

“The dark purple with the deep plunge. Is it wrong of me to flaunt in her face what she lost?” And you laughed as you kissed him. 

“I mean, yes. But I also know that you want to show me off properly now that we’ve got things really settled.” You murmured and he grinned back unabashedly. 

It was still an uphill battle, but he’d given you a lot to think about. And after gentle convincing, you’d found an LGBT friendly therapist who helped you process your thoughts. It helped you come to terms with accepting the toxic relationship that you’d been in but also it highlighted how beneficial Calum had been as a friend and confidant. 

It also gave you the courage to ask Calum out officially, wanting to be with him entirely and not just in the evenings. 

He took that in his stride and things shifted once more between the two of you. When you opened up to him about some of your sessions, you knew that your trust had been well placed because he never indicated anything to his friends and so you were never subjected to pitying stares or glares. 

You were almost sure that you’d fall in love with him faster than you fell for Poppy. 

The drive to Luke’s was filled with your nerves. You hadn’t seen Luke in years and you were also meeting his two other friends, Ashton and Michael as well as their partners. 

“Ashton’s excited to finally meet you and stop telling me to be careful when I go to yours.” 

Despite Calum living with Ashton, your schedules never seemed to match and more often than not, Calum could be found at your place, a small sanctuary from your hectic lives. 

Ashton never begrudged that time you shared together, but Calum had mentioned a few times about how snappy he was being on the subject. 

“He’ll chill when he realises I’m not out to break your heart or steal something.” You muttered with a chuckle. Calum snorted in return as he pulled into Luke’s driveway. 

Your nerves return full force as he pulls you to the front door and steps in like he lives there. 

“Hey fuckers, anyone about?” He called through and was met with calls of confirmation, another yell following that they were in the dining room. Your fingers squeezed Calum’s tightly and he didn’t hesitate to return it, his thumb soothing across the skin on the back of your hand.

“Look who it is!” A voice crowed loudly as he stepped into the dining room, followed by loud calls of greetings. 

There was a flurry of introductions and you felt like the spotlight was being shone on you, under scrutiny from his best friends gazes once they had greeted their friend and Calum had introduced you. Or re-introduced you in Luke’s case.

“Well c’mon, the last time I saw you we were leaving school. What’s been happening to you?” Luke finally asked, indicating to the seat next to him. A small smile graced your lips as you sat down, Calum falling into the seat next to you as you shrugged. 

“Life I guess? It’s been definitely more interesting with the different jobs and moving about. Building up a social life again.” Luke’s face filled with a frown at that. 

Michael came in next. 

“Building up a social life? Did you not have one?” His words held an innocent curiosity, yet you felt yourself hesitate. 

“My ex was controlling to the point that I couldn’t do anything without their permission. They managed to make me believe that no one really wanted me around and I lost touch with old friends, like Luke.” You glanced to the side and he was frowning. 

The others held varying degrees of stunned shock or disapproval. 

“Well then he was a cunt.” Michael muttered and your eyes refused to meet theirs at the assumptions. Luke stayed quiet but his hand rested on your knee, squeezing it. You shot him a gentle smile in return.

“Well it’ll be good to have you back in our lives. Especially with these two knuckleheads.” He nodded at Ashton and Michael who immediately protested and you laughed. 

It felt like you’d known them for years as you all had a few shots. Ashton, despite being the owner of the bar, wasn’t worried about turning up with his friends. He’d already explained to his staff that he’d be around for the rest of the night once he arrived and he’d told the small groups he’d be here and there. 

After a handful of shots, the group of you made your way to the bar, your arm linked with Calum’s. There were separate conversations happening between you all, their girlfriends including you on their pamper night whilst the boys discussed a possible games night for all of you. 

When you arrived at the club, you saw the queue of people waiting to get in and the subsequent groans from the line as the bouncer let you in, no questions asked. 

Ashton guided the group of you to the VIP section and the music was still loud but you could still hear each other talking. You were chatting away with Luke’s girlfriend, arm still linked with Calum’s as Ashton disappeared to get drinks. 

Calum pulled your attention away briefly, his lips by your ear. 

“I’ve spotted her. She’s not seen us yet so don’t worry.” You barely nodded, acknowledging his words as you listened in, fighting to keep your nerves down. 

The night continued and you were all a few drinks deep. Calum’s arm had barely left your waist all night as you talked and danced and drank. You’d been welcomed into his group of friends with an ease you never realised existed. 

You’d deliberately not tried to seek out Poppy, silently praying that the universe would comply. But as the group of you stood out in the smokers area, huddled together under a heating lamp, your stomach sank as she stepped out, her eyes narrowing on you. 

“Fuckin’ knew it!” You could feel the alarm in your face as you stepped back into Calum, his arm going around you protectively. 

“Poppy, you’re drunk.” You felt curious gazes from your new friends, but you didn’t spare them a glance.

“You break up with me and go running to his arms, I knew you weren’t a fuckin lesbian. Pretending to try it out? Just another straight girl seeking attention. Fucking freak.” She snapped and your stomach sank. 

“Get it through your thick head that she’s bisexual.” Calum snapped in your defence, earning a glare from Poppy. But Calum didn’t shrink from the glare, your glance to his face confirmed he was giving her his own. You were mildly impressed that she didn’t back down instantly. 

“She’s a fuckin liar! Years of my life wasted on this bitch.” She spat at your feet and you took in a deep breath. 

“You don’t get to control me anymore, Poppy. I’ve liked both men and women, but you never liked that because it meant that I had more chances of leaving you. And I wished I’d have left you sooner. Calum certainly thought so.” 

“Of course you fucked the first man to pay you any attention.” Your heart sank once more at her declaration and you felt your mind fall into the old trap that you’d fought with for so long. 

“No she never. In fact she slept with a few girls long before she slept with me. But I was her best friend as she tried to deal with the mess you created in her mind.” Calum snapped back. You felt your heart swell for him. 

Poppy stepped forward, her hand raised but then Ashton stepped in front of you. 

“Get out. You’re no longer welcome in this bar.” He made a gesture and security slowly made their way over. 

“She shouldn’t be fucking welcome!” Poppy yelled back, but Ashton held firm. 

“She is my friend. You are not. Get. Out.” When the bouncer rested a hand on her arm, she shrugged it off and stormed away. Your entire body was trembling.

“So that was the ex, huh?” Michael commented and you could feel your hands trembling as you nodded. “Why didn’t you correct me?” Calum spoke up for you as his hands took yours. 

“It’s been a battle for her. Poppy had convinced her she was a lesbian, that she was wrong for having any attraction to men. In Poppy’s world, either your gay, lesbian or straight. Being bisexual isn’t acceptable in her eyes.” Calum’s arms wrapped around you and you stood there, holding onto him for dear life. 

“Well that makes two of us then.” Michael’s casual comment had your knees go weak and you let out a weak laugh. 

“Thank you Ash.” You finally murmured when you pulled away from Calum. Ashton didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you in a warm hug that was both comforting and reassuring. 

“Hey, you’ve been the best thing for my best mate. And you were friends with Luke once before. I’ve definitely got your back. And I get why you didn’t say anything and don’t hold that against you.” He muttered and you breathed a sigh of relief before returning to Calum’s embrace. 

“More drinks or are we gonna go back to Luke’s?” And you shook your head. 

“Let’s stay. I’m not gonna let her ruin it,” you leaned forwards so your lips were by his ear as the others went inside, “also I want to see if we can christen the bar in one of the toilets.” You breathed. Calum groaned as his grip around you got tighter and he pulled you in for a kiss that promised more. 

“Oh you’re so fucked sweetheart. Especially since I know where the individual lips are and they aren’t attended by anyone.” You held back a moan at that thought before pulling away, your hand in his. 

“Dance first?” And the innocence in your tone made him laugh as he followed behind you willingly. 

“Menace.” The term was laced with affection as he caught up to you, kissing the spot just below your ear. 

You simply grinned in return as you pulled him onto the dance floor, Poppy long forgotten as he danced with you. 

-

@sexgodashton, @goth5sos, @calumsmermaid, @empathycth, @wildflowergrae, @calpops, @rosecolouredash, @cal-puddies, @clockwork124, @loveroflrh, @stellar5sosrecs, @ashtoniwir, @cthla, @liketheydidwithyou, @sc0ttish-wildfl0wer​, @bluehairedtracii, @drummerboy794, @feliznavidaddycal, @i-calumhood, @wokeupinjapanisabop, @converse-luke, @madbomb, @ccnicole02, @youngblood199456, @aulxna, @megz1985, @lukesidentitycrisis, @snapback-irwie, @neonweeknds, @666yourwitchyfriend666, @gamerboymike, @cashtonasfuck, @ashtaway, @conquerwhatliesahead92, @itjustkindahappenedreally, @twoamhood, @kchillout, @damselindistressanu, @colormekaykay, @findingliam-o, @sublimehood, @sugarcoated-pain, @singt0mecalum, @singledadharrington​, @calumspeachy​, @colourfulcalum​, @lostincalum​, @burncrashbromance​, @asht0ns-world​, @a-mnd, @flusteredcliffo​, @loti18​, @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave​, @clumclum-hood​, @fangirl-everythang​, @lashtondaddies​, @calumssunshine​, @ambskiwi​, @abundant-stars​, @caltattoohood, @seedless-vascular, @myescapefromthislife​, @lmao5sosimagines​, @beyoncesdragon​, @jae-writes-fanfiction​, @cxddlyash​, @tresfandom​, @utterly-u-n-p-e-r-f-e-c-t​, @niallisworld​, @lietomevalntyn​, @babylon-corgis​, @monochrome44​, @behind-my-hazeleyes27​, @ghost0fy0u​, @lyllibug​, @bloodmoonashton​, @balsamic-cal, @calumsbaldhead​, @washedout-ky, @calumssunshinee​, @ghostofmashton​, @summerellaz​, @a-little-less-sixteen​, @cashworthy​, @smokeinherlungs​, @longlastingdaydream​, @h0tsos​, @sweetcherrymike​, @5sosnsfw​, @sugar-nico​, @sunnysideblog, @angel-cal​, @samros95​, @maluminspace​, @lukeinblue​, @cakesunflower​, @allamerican-betch​,  @britnicole11​, @gigglyirwin​, @everyscarisahealingplace, @loverofcashton​, @iovehemmings​, @g-l-pierce​, @jannimoeller3​, @wildmichaelflower​, @lukeskisses​, @5sossstan​, @youngbloodchild​, @alloutofcashton​, @tobefalling​, @abb-lan-5sos​, @calumsbub​, @flameraine​, @here-for-the-uproars​, @mateisit-balsamic​, @ilovelukey​, @sarahshepherdblog​

[avenger-hawk]

i like seeing u on my dash. i don't usually tolerate drama going on, but u're an awesome person on how u handle it. i usually unfollow if i see any discourse or stuff like that. i feel like ur a nice person, but won't take sh*t from any1. u do u. i hope u're taking care of urself well.

i'm the anon who sent "i feel like u're a nice person, but won't take sh*t from any1" I hope I didn't come off rude, i'm terrible at complimenting people and wording things.

Nooo don't say you're terrible at wording things cause you're not! I'm very happy I received your message and that you have such a nice opinion about me. Also I sincerely apologize for drama, I feel you on this cause for some time I tried to ignore discourse, enjoy my own thing and so on. Recently though (I explained why more times so I won't bother with more of my whining lol) I can't tolerate the entitlement of ppl judging others for their taste in fiction, and I vent on this blog. Maybe because the taking care of myself part isn't working as well as it should. These are hard times.

Thank you very much again, I hope you're ok and I wish you a good day/night, and in case you celebrate it a happy (happy? spooky?) halloween!

(You might anyway blacklist the tags #fanon and fandom stuff #anti naruto fandom)

[uwua3]

omg.. 🥛here!!! hello hello bunnie i haven’t sent an ask so srry🙏 :( and i saw ur post just now happy 400 u deserve this sm.. ur amazing and i hope that u take care of urself :( speaking of tiering for an a3 event tbo.. my goodness never again after sky’s pirates.. i gave up like halfway and ended up w 600k points.. what a nightmare lol

milk anon!!! how are you~ ? don’t apologize, you have no need to! i truly mean it from the bottom of my heart that i enjoy seeing you any time you’re available! thank you for celebrating with me, happy 400 indeed!!! :D the same goes for you, please take care of yourself or else i’ll be very worried :( + ranking for an a3! event is #Scary ... TT you still did a good job!!! that’s a lot of points :O you did well~ susume susume! i love you, thank you for coming by 🥺🥰

Bunnie 💗🐰

[seokjxnnie]

hi i see that you've been to a couple bts concerts! can you describe what it was like seeing them irl? and what the process was like the day of? thank you so much ^0^

hi love! thx so much for ur patience, sorry i wasn’t on all day yesterday to answer u! i’m going to walk u thru everything i can remember about each concert, so i’m putting it under a break bc it gets long!

bts love yourself in LA 2018: A  M E S S! this was my first bts concert and also my first big concert outside of my own city (vancouver) so idk if staples centre was just incredibly disorganized or if this was the normal concert experience LOL and sorry if i come off as judgy but ngl it was was a very unpleasant up to the point of the actual show bc a lot of the fans (plus their parents??!!!) were so hostile LMAO

my friend and i had GA floor tickets. a lot of ppl who had GA camped outside the venue for days straight leading up to the concert, and even tho the venue said they didn’t allow camping and wouldn’t hold the campers’ place in line, they went back on their word and did anyway (which in retrospect i don’t blame them bc i think the campers would’ve started an all out war if the venue actually followed thru on that rule). so early morning on the day of (7-8am) the venue staff numbered the campers’ hands with sharpies so that it would count as their position in line, but when everyone lined up to get their wristbands for GA, not everyone in that lineup had camped so a lot (not all) of the campers got rly aggressive and wanted to check everyone’s hands. if they found someone without a number they’d bully that person to leave the lineup and go to the end. a lot of those aggressors were like young teenagers and their parents either came to keep them company as they lined up or they were attending the concerts themselves, and some of those parents would assist their child in harassing other ppl and then played victim when the news crew came around which was w i l d to me. but i think that behaviour was eventually curbed bc a lot of other ppl in line like spoke back and stood up against their hostility. oh also! while in this lineup, several black range rovers in a row drove past us and into the venue, so we were pretty sure the boys were in those cars.

anyway, that lineup was to get into a section of venue to get official wristbands that would hold ur position in line for GA later at the concert. this took a few hours. but at the same time (a little later in the morning ~10-11am) the lineup for merch opened up elsewhere a the venue and if i remember correctly, things sold out rly quick. i luckily had other friends attending the concert, but they had seated tickets so didn’t have to line up for GA wristbands like me, so they were able to line up and get merch for us. once GA ppl got their wristbands, we were free to go and were to return to the venue 1-2 hrs before the concert start, unless u won soundcheck then you’d be let in sometime in the afternoon to see the boys. u were also able to stick around and line up for the photobooth but we were exhausted from everything so we left.

it was a pleasant experience after that. we went home and took a nap and hydrated and got ready for the concert LOL in the evening when GA ppl came back to line up for the show, our wristbands were numbered as our position in line so we ordered ourselves with the help of the staff and waited in line outside the venue for a couple hrs. we weren’t allowed to bring in anything more than a small bag. everyone around us was nice, a lot of ppl were handing out free merch that they made! then we were let in one at a time with a security check at the door, and after that we’d rush into the arena to secure a good view. i was around #~250 and still i stood like 2nd row from the extended stage. it was an amazing view when the boys were on the extended stage, bc they were a couple arms length away and we were in the splash zone when yoongi tossed his water bottle around during tear. i also remember jimin being super interactive and flirty with the fans around the extended stage too. but i will say it’s impossible to see anything when they’re on the mainstage (esp when ur short like me), so i was watching them from the screens a lot. i think joon took someone’s phone and recorded himself on with it too! again, everyone around us were super nice and caring, telling ppl not to push each other and comforting each other as we sobbed throughout. a tall girl standing in front of me asked me if i could see and would try to tilt her shoulders in a way that open up my view which was v sweet but i told her dw just enjoy urself!

ofc the boys were amazing - as amazing as u would expect and them some! they sounded so amazing live that i literally had to ask myself several times during the concert if they were lipsyncing. they were incredibly fun, great onstage energy, and very interactive! sososo much prettier in real life too.

bts speak yourself in chicago 2019: this was undeniably a greater experience all around. this was the stadium tour, so floor seats were seated and numbered, which eliminated the whole terrible camping/lining up experience and everyone just had to come a little early to seat themselves before the show. also, merch sales were offered for 3 days: the day prior to day1 of the concert, day1 before the concert, and day2 before the concert. from my knowledge they didn’t sell out either so all around it felt way more organized, which might’ve just been bc the capacity was going to be 3x greater (soldier field was ~60k and staples centre was ~20k) and they were prepared for that. there was also a photobooth but i think it was only open to certain ppl that won a ticket or smth idr :///

my friend and i didn’t get floor seats this time bc not only did they almost all sold out immediately, but we kind of wanted a view of everything unlike in LA. in LA even tho bts was right there when they were on the extended stage, we couldn’t see anything when they were on the mainstage. so this time we sat in the seated section near like the cat walk and ~10 rows up, and bc the stadium was so huuuge bts was still pretty small but at least i could see all their performances no matter which stage they were on. so, we got merch the day before which was an easy breezy and much quicker process, and got into the stadium ~1 hr before the concert. u were also only allowed to bring in a small transparent bag, but i just brought my phone, a credit card, and an ID in my pockets. also! before the concert, we saw who we thought was txt standing at the very top balcony of the stadium, which we later confirmed in a bangtan bomb/episode!

bc it was an open stadium and chicago had cooler weather around that time which was even chillier at night IT WAS SO COLD. it had been raining all day but thankfully it stopped before the concert started and the stage was cleared so the boys wouldn’t slip (and thank god bc i was so worried about that). joon even said smth along the lines of “hey guys it’s meant to be, it was raining all day until we got together 🥰” and i hmmmmmmmmmmmm :’(((((((( but during their performances i didn’t even notice the cold (even tho my hands and feet no longer felt attached to my body) bc they were so amazing and i was crying too hard!!!

i have to say even tho they had already set a pretty high bar for the energy i expected from them, they even exceeded it this time round. i think they were super excited and proud to do their first stadium tour :’) they had learned a lot of english to share with us during their introductions, between their songs, and in their goodbyes. their production was crazy as you might’ve seen in fancams: an all out set for dionysus, huge bouncy castles for anpanman, and jungkook was on a fucking zipline for euphoria LOL

it was an amazing unparalleled experience and i hope u get to experience it too some day anon! i hoped that helped and sorry it was so long and i probs told u way more than what u were looking for LMAO but lmk if u have any other questions i can answer!! ty!!!!

[04loved]

To A Happy 2018

This isn’t a follow forever or mutual list, I just wanted to give a little personal shoutout to some of you who make tumblr a place i want to keep coming back to.

There are many more wonderful people I didn’t mention, but I hope in the coming year to step out of my comfort zone a little and try to talk to you all more, even if it is only over anon.  To everyone who has sent me an encouraging message or anon in recent days, I was truly touched and I thank you so much.  To all of my followers, i love you and you’re doing great and i hope you have a soft 2018 filled with love and good things!!

@bbhsavocado i feel like i learned so much about u pricilla that night of the bbh in panties talk aldkjsgljk how validating to see my kinks shared n sub bbh appreciated like that, but it was also awful n i hated it. i love all ur bisexual bbh-loving content n ur friendship with some mutuals is so adorable i hope u all find great gfs this year <3 i have no idea y i took so long to follow u bc ur everything i want in a blog

@bbhsthighs nicole, u want to be a person who gives happiness like the boy who inspired ur url, and u do, u really really do. ur hilarious and adorable in ur tags and ur interactions with ur other friends on here. i can tell how much you love them and how much they love you back <3 maybe some ppl first liked u for ur humor and light, but love means accepting u when ur hurting and when u dont feel like u can shine anymore. pls dont be afraid to share that side of you with those who deserve ur trust, bc thats what a true friendship is. pls treat urself with the same kindness u give to everyone else. asking for help isnt being selfish and it isnt letting anyone down. u do not have to shine for everyone else while being blind urself. following u has been a wild ride from the day i first found ur blog and ive enjoyed every day since. this year i hope the world becomes a bright and beautiful place for you.

@bobohu elaine, im not sure who you want following you since u changed ur blog...i think u left while i was taking a break from tumblr, but i found you again from a post about the kinds of love you feel for exo, i knew there was only one person who writes like that, so beautifully and so full of love. you were one of the first exo blogs i followed and you have always been someone who radiates good vibes and sunshine. i want u to know i appreciate every one of ur positivity posts, and even in your selfies, your smile, you look exactly how i would expect from the kind of cute content you have. i want to genuinely thank you for being a fan for so long and doing what u can to make others happy. i love seeing your posts and im very happy i found you again

@boxianb ive been following u for so long and like idk how u do it but u reblog every single baekhyun post i have on my blog without fail. always. u r just all baekhyun all the time and u know what i admire that i respect that so much that is dedication and i see u and appreciate that, its exactly what i want and need in my life, thank you !!

@byunchen mel, ive seen your posts lately and how you are lonely and missing friends on here, and ive been following you for like...two years now..and we don’t really talk, im shy and you say ur shy and bad at talking.... but here’s me saying that i see you and i appreciate the time you spend on here blogging and talking. im not really active enough anymore to promise to interact a lot but this year i will try to talk more and i wish you many adorable anons and people to call friends !! thank u for coming this far and being an important part of my dash

@exolgbt around when i first followed u i was questioning a lot if i was actually a lesbian and somehow ur blog just like...comforted me ? made me feel good ? helped me try to understand myself ? seeing someone so proudly a lesbian and also so in love with exo... ive come to terms with being bisexual but i admire you and really love your content and all the exo mlm appreciation !! ur doing good work <3

@imagine-baekhyun i dont know who is running this account but ur literally ruining my life thanks i hate it !!!!!!

@kjonginswife i have to admit ive wanted to talk to u for a while alkjgslkjg its nice to see someone my own age on here, i did see ur universe reaction and i think youre adorable haha i dont follow a lot of non-bbh stans and honestly i think i followed you at first by mistake but i have never regretted it !! idk how to put it into eloquent words but basically u give me such good friendly vibes and i love seeing your posts and your tags and your personality and just know someone on here really appreciates you and would miss you if u left

@kkaeb-my-song one of the holy first baekhyun blogs i followed <3 from the beginning you struck me as a very sweet person so cutely in love with baekhyun and that hasn’t changed, ive only come to appreciate you even more. you’re a constant on here and being in this fandom wouldn’t be the same without you !!

@mochibaeks I LOVE YOU i know youre not as active lately jelly but I LOVE YOU youre like the sweetest cutest squishiest most adorable person ive seen on this site i just...love...everything you say and make!! im p sure i first followed u bc u did like the bias audio challenge a while ago...u sounded so friendly and adorable, ur voice is very fitting for you haha you are so warm i hope you stick around for a long time because i love you soooo much

@rosybbh ive been following u sophia for a while and we’re mutuals but we havent talked a lot and im still honestly intimidated by you lol idk how u feel about this view but i see you as a very strong person, just the way u talk seems confident in some way to me, whether u feel like that or not. i dont really have the right words, but i admire that. i LOVE everything u say about bbh...all ur posts for bbh n about u n bbh...damn u always got me daydreaming about him too :( except ok there was this one pic of chanyeol and u said smth like ‘imagine him manspreading’ and id like u to know that that actually ruined my life and i havent forgotten it so thanks. for u especially i hope u have a very bright and healing year

@r-velvets vivian i know u have been gone recently but still lurk, and u have one of my fave blogs content wise and gifs and personality. u r still like THAT way too cool mutual i get so excited to see...especially bc you’re also so kind and during that really hard night after the news of Jonghyun, idk how or why but just those few words u said made me feel a lot better. i miss you online but i hope youre doing well in your real life and finding happiness

@sefuns i dont have a lot to say bc im really shy but u were the FIRST exo blog i ever followed and you have given nothing but great content since i found you two years ago, and when u followed me more recently i could not believe the notification aglksjgljk i have no idea how u found me but knowing we’re mutuals made me very happy and gave me a little blush and i just wanted to let u know that

@thundaelights fey, i dont think this will mean much to you coming from a stranger, but after following you for two years, i feel like i know you some, and i want to say that i hope this year you see many beautiful sights, and your heart feels light, and you are surrounded by things that give happiness. i hope something happens soon that makes the whole world look different, look brighter. its funny how life can change so fast and without warning. i wish you not just strength but also a safe place to fall apart and hope to put yourself back together. may you find countless reasons to smile

@wangeun we talked a lot for a while and then i just kind of disappeared i think as i often do rip but i still love following you and i just want to say real quick that i see you and i notice you and i would miss you if you left and i hope youre finding a lot of success in your life

to new mutuals @cuddlyjd @okaybaekhyun @baekhyuns i still get so shy and happy when anyone follows me back but thank you !! you are all three cute and adorable and funny n kenzie i hadnt followed a great jongdae stan in a while since the old dae-biased blogs i followed became inactive thank u for loving jongdae so well alkgjs

@sebyun @winterbyuns @etherealbbh @progamerbyun @dearbyun @baeksee @byunvoyage @solobaek @queenbyun @baekhyy @baehkhun @ethereal-baek i love all of u bbh stans giving baekhyun the love and adoration he deserves n giving me the positive baekhyun content my heart needs. esp solobaek (kiki, right?) u have the cutest most wonderful tags i love reading them all and seeing so many heart emojis

im sorry i dont have the most to say but im thinking of you all and wishing you the best!!!!

[tayegi]

im crying not only bc of your amazing writing, but bc i was scrolling thru my dashboard and i saw you answering all these asks about new rules and i’m so dump thinking that you set up new rules or sthg, i didn’t understand it so i read all those asks and fucking spoiled myself kmp, but on another note yOU FUCKING ROCK OMG NEW RULES IS SO AMAZING I LOVE IT 💘💘💘

Anonymous said:I'M LOVING NEW RULES SO MUCH just wanted to show my support. i love your writing in general don't get me wrong but new rules is messing with my heart and it's amazing

Anonymous said:Hi! I just read both parts for "New Rules" and I loved them! If this goes in the same direction as Dua Lipa sings (I guess it will) it sounds like it'll be very interesting. I love how everyone in the story is human, not just good or bad, you know? 90% of fics would've made Mijoo the stereotypical barbie bitch, but you didn't and I was pleasantly surprised! I also feel very identified with the OC. I really want her to open up and discover who JK really is, whoever that is. Keep up the good work!

jabaelashit said:Hey! i already wrote you a message on one of your posts but i just wanted to say that i am feeling so skabakks right now, I can't stop thinking about new rules and i'm torn between crying or crying but w angsty. I hope oc learns her worth and can understand she's just as amazing as mijoo, even better if we're talking about morals but oh well people fuck up:( I'm glad she forgave her but I hope she distances from her cause that gurl ain't having the same respect for the friendship as oc/1

jabaelashit said:and i also hope she gets to tell jimin her feelings not to like make him break stuff w mijoo, but to let him know she hadnt seen the note and to release some pressure and feelings cause oc bottles up so much and i just want to go and hug her and don't leave her until she understands shes fucking badass and cool and that the way she thinks is 👏👏👏 lu you've made me feel such a diverse amount of emotions i don't know what to do w myself anymore, your writing is amazing! love love loove you❣/2

Anonymous said:Hey!!:) idk if this is the right place to send compliments cause im really new to tumblr but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR FICS. Tbh I'd buy it if you published a physical compilation;)

Anonymous said:Wow for the longest time I was searching your old username; idek why cause I’ve known you changed your username and have been keeping up to date with you LMAO this is what being sick and delirious does to me. ANYWAYS! Hope you’re not too down with the crazy anons your story is great and I’m thankful for the dynamic characterizations you create! It makes it so much more interesting cause you create many characters with depth!!

Anonymous said:Can I please just have your writing talent? The OC is just so real, and that moment when she's deciding what to do with Mijoo, and what she actually says at the end.... I can't actually put my thoughts into words. I'm legit stunned by the sheer amount of emotions I felt reading the second chapter. I genuinely adore the banter between JK and OC, I personally prefer people to be more direct with what they want, so I already appreciate them, but also Jimin's convo with OC... (1/2)

Anonymous said:Jimin's convo with OC... Idk about these other anons going off on Mijoo, I was more thinking 'why didn't Jimin chase the note?' and then he would have had his answer then and there. But that might have just been me... And also, thinking back to it now, when JK said 'I need you' and OC repeated it back to him like super softly, like she was surprised oh god, okay, my heart is breaking even more for OC now, idk if I'm reading too much into it. I love you Lu, I hope you're well, and happy! (2/2)

Anonymous said:I love your fics so much!! The sass is real esp with jungkook 😂

Anonymous said:Anyways do ya thang hunny ✨ Keep wrecking me with your writings 💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨😩

Anonymous said:Read part 1 of New Rules and was like yeah thisll be fun, I'll have a great time. Then I read part 2 and ended up shedding some real tears at the end?!?! LU WHAT THE...... But really though its so nice to read a fic where the OC values friendship. The idea that its always girls against girls makes me sad.. we should be sticking together!!

Anonymous said:so... surprise surprise, dis gon be about new rules 😂 but I really wanted to thank you for adding so much of the oc's inner dialogue, and making her such a character in the first place. a lot of fics do not portray ocs with more defeatist attitudes, but yours does and I was glad, because I could finally relate to a fic :) also, coming back to the inner dialogue thing, it was so in depth that i could really feel what the oc was feeling, what she was going through. it was amazing ❤️ thank you!

Anonymous said:Man this is one hell of a good fic i’m highly anticipating the next chapter!!! Even though it seems like traditional frat fuckboy x ‘i hate frat bois but ye i’d fuck u’ type of girl it still is in a way a little different i just can’t quite catch how but nonetheless it’s amazing!!! Keep up the good work babe

oceanjoon said:ok so ur newest fic new rules literally is so real n relatable !! like honestly i understand seeking physical comfort in people u dont care about wen u r feeling down/insecure to validate urself n it just rlly hit home

kyarybunny said:Lu. At this point I have so many compliments to give you I can't really form it all properly. But I really am enjoying New Rules and this plot you're breathing life into! It's a different facet of your writing and I love how you can interpret every character's actions in a few different ways. Thank you for continuing to write and I hope you enjoy writing as much as we do reading/analyzing.

Anonymous said:Istg when I read the new chapter of New Rules I clenched my fist like that Arthur meme when it came up to the part about mijoo and the note. Girl got me heated lol. As usual, your works do not disappoint! I love your wittiness and how it shines in your writing. The remarks and dialogue in all of your series really proves your talent. You’re truly a gem amongst fanfic writers 💕☺️📢

Anonymous said:i was happily reblogging a few things on my dash and ch1 of new rules just came and i started reading WHERE THE FUCK DID I GET MY ASS INTO???!!!???!?! IT'S FUCKING AMAZING i don't know why i didn't start reading before. don't you ever dare stop writting, you're such a good writter and i enjoy your works very very much

Anonymous said:OC DESERVES HAPINESS JUST AS MUCH AS MIJOO. OC SHOULDVE PUT HERSELF AND HER HAPPINESS BEFORE HER FRIEND'S BECAUSE SHE IS TOO GOOD FOR ALL OF THEM DJFJFJ i hope one day jimin finds out about her feelings :(

Anonymous said:new rules just keeps getting better and better 😻😻

Anonymous said:Wow.. Okay.. I do believe chapter 2 of New Rules has officially ruined me. My heart was actually beating so fast through out the whole chapter, and it's still racing now too. I've thought this multiple times while reading your fics, but you're writing really is incredible. Your characters and the way you describe their emotions is so unbelievably relatable that the reader can't help but be sucked in. I always find myself becoming invested in your characters! Thank you for all the adventures!

Anonymous said:I felt so bad for the OC this chapter ;.; If I were in her position, I'd probably do the same since causing a scene is yes, immature and not worth the energy. But, if i could be a character in New Rules I'd probably be the other best friend who'll be like "guurl, confront her ass it isnt an excuse just because she's your friend." All in all I see the OC as the kind of person who'll go out of their way to care for someone to the point of disregarding their own feelings, which is unhealthy :( (1)

Anonymous said:(2) but thats what makes her such a relatable character. I really, really like that in your OCs. This is probably the second OC i emotionally relate to, first is Copper Girl. But yeah I'm just distracting myself from assignments lol this series is amazing and just you are amazing Lu!!!! ily!!!!! PS. Jungkook is still agsjshskll he's cocky but with OC he's quite vulnerable. I wonder why? Is it just a front or does he have other intentions?

Anonymous said:alternative ending to new rules: mijoo and mc are over their respective boys, does not bother to get into any messy scenarios like that ever again, love each other and support each other and is forever the friendship that everyone envies anD I HATE THIS SITUATION SO MUCH GODDAMMIT LU!!! UR REALLY TRYING TO TEAR MY HEART APART!!

marchxseptember said:OH MY GOD CHAPTER TWO IS UP. I HAD A FEELING SO I HAD TO CHCK UR ACC AND I WAS RIGHT. BRB GONNA READ

marchxseptember said:AND THE PLOT THICKENS. I JIST FINISHED READING CH. 2 AND I AM FUCKED UP. I HAD A THEORY BEFORE BUT NOW I HAVE LIKE 2 MORE IM CONFUSED. I LOVED IT SOOO MUCH. AND I HATE MIJOO NOW. I CANT WAITT TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN. THIS WAS SO GOOD LU.

omg the amount of response ive gotten for new rules is unbelievable. I dont think ppl were even this into equilibrium. the last time u guys acted like this was during the golden boy trilogy and it really feels so good to have this again.

thank you all for your thoughtful messages and for giving this ridiculous little fic a chance. I love you all

[malfoysstilinski]

hi so this is gonna be pretty random and like might not make sense but! first off i just wanted to say that im ADDICTED to training wheels. like im just obsessed to the point where my chest swells when im reading it because its just that good. and u deserve all the appreciation in the world for it, u are such a talented writer!! but anyways! what i was gonna say- and its a little hard to kind of explain over text. but basically like theres this kind of trend thats been shown on tiktok of people turning dramoine fics into like actual hard copy books. if that makes sense? and all i wanted to say was that i would die if i could have a training wheels one like, just to be reading that on the beach! what a dream. anyways, hope all is well and that ur looking after urself! i enjoy u and ur work sm <3

hELLO BEAUTIFUL AMAZING LOVELY INCREDIBLE KIND SWEET ANON!!! my heart is filled with immense love for you and for you only. this means THE WORLD to me, thank you so so so so much!!

and i have seen that people have been turning fanfics into physical copies!! i actually planned on making one for myself once i had finished with training wheels and edited it, but i think you're the second person (if you're not the same person from wattpad lol) to say you would like a physical copy when it's over WHICH IS INSANE AHH. that would literally make MY heart swell.

also training wheels is currently 317,000 words long which is just under the amount of the order of the phoenix and philospher's stone put together (and the fic isn't even near done yet) so it's gonna be a HEFTY book hehe

hope you're doing well too!! thanks again and have an amazing day/night!! <33

[gg-astrology]

OMG UR BDAY IS Jan 10?!? ME TOO ADJKHF (cap sun/gem moon here!). from wut i remember, you're a cap sun and taurus moon? I'm still pretty new when it comes to astrology but i just find that so interesting :DD my friend showed me a book called "The Secret Language of Birthdays" and was wondering if you've ever read it? it describe the personalities of ppl on different birthdates and it was v interesting (sorry if i sound weird/ all over the place I don't usually reach out to ppl on the web >

cap sun/gem moon anon here again lol i wasn't able to write much b/c of the limit but i just wanted to say that your post on the cap sun/gem moon post was rlly informative and i love the posts that you write. thank you so much for sharing your knowledge (っ*´∀｀*)っ hope you've been well rested and safe from the storm (y) [2/2]

!!!!! 💕💕 Hi there!!!!!!! 💕Don’t worry at all you made sense!! 💕💕I’m uwu first of all im really glad u reached out to me?? im so thankful and happy that u took a chance with me so thank u again ;u; i am so grateful (also ur emojis are super cute!!) 💕 💕💕 

And secondly!! 💕💕 Is the book by Gary Goldschneider?? He wrote ‘the secret language of relationship’ as well?? cause did u know there’s a website , i havent read the book but if its anything like the info on the website--- ure right its very interesting!! 💕💕💕💕

Idk about others but personally I find it comforting to just-- let it soak over me and like a revision on ‘ah yes i am a capricorn but there’s different shades to a capricorn’ 💕💕💕💕

There’s nothing particularly good nor bad about it there but it’s just nice to be reminded sometimes that sun signs do affect us and we aren’t ALL the same even if we’re born under the same sun y know? 💕💕💕💕 

It’s really cool as well, checking out the ‘relationship’ section to the website there’s different categories for things and the ‘summary key words’ for the relationships--  and u kinda gotta remind urself that its not that stagnant but its a good summary/hinthint nudge nudge at a problem that may arise (I had a good giggle about it honestly it was just fun to do💕💕) 

💕💕💕💕 If u want to, let me know what u think?? I’m curious about the book too!! 💕💕 So if there’s anything u find lacking/interesting pls let me know!! 💕💕 I wonder if the book is the same as the website in any ways?? Or like did it say anything different for our Jan 10th combo?? 💕💕💕💕 

 Aaaaaaaahhh and yES i am a Cap Sun/Taurus Moon!! 💕💕!!! I’m glad the Cap/Gemini post was fun to read!!!!!! ;u; im really glad u enjoyed it!! 💕💕 Thank u so much and yes I will TRY to be safe from the storm!! ;u; 💕💕💕💕 ur emojis are so cute and everything u say is so cute, pls feel free to drop by again ok 💕💕💕💕