#agent nadeem

[thoughtsfromataco]

Just rewatched Daredevil season 3 and WHY IS AGENT NADEEM SO SEXY

[bed-wed-behead-your-fave]

Agent ray nadeem from daredevil ;3

[keytaryourheart]

its funny that luke mentioned daredevil in the last wan because whenever linus talks about his pool being built i think about *that* scene

[moreover-moreover]

One aspect I truly admire in Daredevil Season 3 is the careful rupturing of the work-life divide. It makes everyone more relatable, as they become well-rounded figures with backstories, histories, vulnerabilities and people whom they need to protect.

Although each of the characters try to inoculate those from their “personal” lives from the rough and tumble of their “work”, they find it’s impossible to do so.

Indeed, the choices each character takes on (Nadeem’s and Dex’s FBI job; Matt’s nighttime shenanigans as Daredevil; Kingpin rebuilding his criminal empire) have an irrevocable impact on the lives of their friends and family.

“How dare you bring this into my home?” snaps Special Agent-in-Charge Tammy Hattley to Nadeem when he tries to report his crime - a similar thought echoed by Seema later on, when she says bitterly, “You brought a gunfight into our home.”

The FBI storms Matt’s apartment; Matt and Nadeem break into Dex’s apartment; Dex intrudes on Nadeem’s family; Fisk’s men explode into Nadeem’s home; the last three-cornered fight between Matt, Nadeem and Fisk concludes in Fisk’s penthouse suite, the home that he tried to build for Vanessa.

A breach is always eminent, waiting - Foggy is targeted because of Matt; the church comes under attack; Julie Barnes is murdered; Seema and Sami endure a gunfight at home; Vanessa is almost killed by Dex.

The point the season makes is that, now, more than ever, we have to learn to trust the people around us.

Seema tells Ray that the reason she married him was because she thought he was a good man. Vanessa tells Fisk that the reason she married him was because she fell in love with his brutality and strength. Nonetheless, both want the same thing - honesty from their husbands; full disclosure - “to live inside [their] world, with [them]”.

As Matt and Karen eventually open up to each other, baring their shortcomings, they are finally ready to see each other as who they truly are. Matt no longer sees Karen as innocent and pure, to be shielded from the world, but someone capable of protecting herself.

Fisk, too, initially sees Vanessa as delicate, to be hidden away from his cruelties, but she insists that her hands have never been clean (similar, ironically, to Karen). He accepts her wish to be involved, and her brutality without question, when she orders the hit on Nadeem.

Relationships are at the centre of Daredevil Season 3, and the heart of the story beats stronger because of it.

[amberlynnmurdock]

The Good In You (Chapter 1)

Pairing: Benjamin 'Dex' Poindexter x Reader

Series Summary: She's the new in-house nurse at the FBI headquarters in Manhattan. The only time she ever interacts with the agents is when she's stitching up their wounds. She's gotten to know almost all of them in this way, but there's one agent who's been harder to get to know. The other agents say what they want about Special Agent Poindexter, but she'll never speak negatively of him. Eventually, she does get to know him; she does get to know the good in him. At least for as long as the good lasts.

Genres: fluff, super angst, betrayal, reader wants Dex to be good so bad

A/N: Dex has got to be the most complex character to write lol, but it's so much fun. This idea dawned on me recently and I had to get it out there. I hope you like it! :)

Words: 3.5k

Ao3 Link

It wasn’t often FBI agents needed tending to their wounds because often they could get the job done without a scratch. Still, the FBI headquarters in Manhattan needed a resident nurse for when some agents got banged up, and that nurse was her. 

She liked being a nurse at the FBI—believe it or not, it paid more than her previous job at Metro-General and it was up her alley to be working specifically with the FBI. She hated when her manager at Metro told her she’d yet again be switching departments, meaning she’d have to find a new way to commute to the hospital since it was so large and had different entrances. It was also hard to build a relationship with the patients there since she was often switched because the hospital couldn’t keep its shit together. Why get so attached to tending to the same patient almost every day, just for one day she'd be told she’d never be able to see them again? 

It took a toll on her since she was the type of person to get attached to people she cared about. She may not have known her patients for a long time, but the time she spent with them was precious. These people were sick or injured, and they leaned on her not only to help them, but to have someone to talk to when their family couldn’t make it on any particular day. 

So one day, she asked yourself, what’s the use? What’s the use in getting attached and being taken away so easily? What’s the use in letting the hospital treat her relationships with her patients as disposable? 

When she saw the open position for a nurse at the FBI, she hoped she’d at least be dealing with the same agents now and then. So far, she has. No more switching around—no more connections being cut for no reason. 

Being here almost six months, she’s come to know many of the agents. Many of them had families, some were new to the job—and for some, all they had was this job. Despite the only time she’d see these agents was when they were hurt, she looked forward to catching up with them in her exam room as she stitched up or cleaned their wounds.

Ray Nadeem is one of the agents who has a family. When it was Ray she had to tend to, she knew her time with him would be pleasant. He was—no pun intended—a ray of sunshine. A sweet family man, who truly cared about his job and justice. 

Ray is in her exam room today. Not for anything serious. A bunch of agents responded to a complaint downtown—gang members fighting at a liquor store. Truthfully, not the worst she’s heard them be called for. The FBI normally had everything under control in situations like that. Ray had a few scratches on his face, and he was pushed into an aisle of white wine. She could smell the wine on his jacket. She already checked for broken glass. She was now tending to the cut on his cheekbone. 

“Was it bad?” She asked him. 

Ray shook his head. “Not really. We apprehended them pretty quickly. We had enough agents there.”

“That’s good,” she said, focusing on cleansing the wound. “Early night at least.”

“Yeah,” Ray sighed, “just in time for me to tuck Sammy into bed.”

Her heart melted at the mention of his son. No amount of cuts on his face could keep Ray from smiling whenever he brought up his son. 

“How is Sammy doing? Is he going to try out for any sports this fall?” She asked. 

“Maybe soccer. He’s more interested in spring sports, like baseball.”

“Ah,” she smiled. “I’ve always found that more fun, too. Spring in general.”

“Yeah,” Ray sighed, again. A sigh she’s come to know as regretful, these past few months getting to know him. “Just wish I was able to surprise him in the spring with the pool he’s been begging for.”

“I’ve only been here a few months, and I know you’re due for a promotion,” she said knowingly. “It’s only September. Anything can happen in the next few months,” a hopeful tone laced in her voice. She didn’t have a license in therapy, but sometimes the agents treated her as such. She didn’t mind, though. 

“I hope so,” Ray said, exasperated. “Thanks, though. For fixing me up,” he pointed to the bandage she just finished putting on his face. “You make me look less scary coming home to Sammy.”

She wanted to laugh, but she stopped herself. It must be hard being an agent, working a daunting job, and coming home to a family like they don’t risk their life every day at work. Instead, she smiles softly at Ray. 

“Thankfully, there wasn’t much to clean up. Just a check-up, I say. Get home safe, Ray.”

“You too,” Ray said, standing up from the exam table. “You going home after this?”

“Hopefully before 10,” she glanced out the window that showed a completely dark sky. One of the perks of working at the FBI, they offered her a service to get her home safely so she didn’t have to worry about going home alone. At night, as a young woman in this city, walking home could be dangerous. 

“Good,” Ray said. “You deserve sleep just as much as we do. Everyone appreciates you being here. I hope you know that.” 

She smiled. “I’m happy to be here.”

“Night, __,” Ray said. “I’ll be sure to tell Sammy you said hi.”

“Please do.”

With one last reassuring nod, Ray left her room. She quickly filled out his file on the computer and checked off the remaining boxes: no head trauma, no serious injuries, no broken bones, no concussion. Just a good old-fashioned cleaning and bandaging. 

A knock on the door brings her out of her focus on the screen. 

“Come in,” she called, not looking to see who it was. By how the door was carefully opened and carefully shut, she felt the person was hesitant in their movements. 

“I’m sorry,” Special Agent Poindexter said. “I can come in when you’re ready.”

She swirled around in her chair to face him immediately. It wasn’t often Dex said much to her, so on the rare occasion he does decide to speak to her, she’s fully paying attention to what he has to say. 

“It’s okay, I was just finishing up,” she stood from her chair. She could see now that his forehead was dripping blood from a cut, and he was attempting to absorb it with the rough paper towels from the bathroom. This indicates why he opened the door to come in—he needed help now. “I’m sorry, Dex. Please sit.”

While she quickly washed her hands, Dex awkwardly shuffled to the exam table and propped himself up on it, holding the paper towel to his forehead. He’s covering half his face and his gaze is away from her, like it always was when it was his turn to be tended to. His dirty blonde hair was pushed to the side. The veins on his hand were prominent. 

“May I?” She asked him first, indicating she wanted to take away the paper towel to begin cleaning his wounds. He only offers her a small nod. 

Dex was hard to figure out—he wasn't like the other agents she’s tended to. He was quiet. Stoic. He wasn’t rude, but he also didn’t go out of his way to make conversation. That was fine by her. She never wanted anyone in her exam room to be uncomfortable or pressured to talk—these agents worked a hard enough job already. They can’t always be at 100% all the time. She just could never tell if Dex was or not. She chalked it up to him being super serious about work. He’s in, and then he’s out. Sometimes, she's tried for conversation, but it was always hit or miss. 

“This may sting,” she says gently. It’s something she says all the time to him, just to fill the silence between them. He faintly nods. His gaze stays away from her. She gently presses the alcohol-absorbed cotton pad over his wound. Ever so slightly his jaw clenches at the contact and he takes a small intake of breath. He shuts his eyes until the sting goes away. 

“I’m sorry,” she dabs on it again. “Just one more. It’s a deep cut.”

“It’s alright,” Dex reassures her. “You can do what you need to.”

Maybe it was a good thing Dex didn’t talk to her so much when he was here—his voice was deep, a hint of a New York accent. And his speaking so closely to her made it hard to concentrate on the task at hand. Now it was her turn to keep quiet. 

She dabbed at his wounds until the bleeding stopped. She grabbed fresh bandages and patched them up. 

“I have to ask you some questions,” she said carefully, feeling nervous for some reason. Dex had his full attention on her now, his gaze no longer hidden. An unreadable expression on his face. 

“Did you hit your head?”

“No.”

“Does your body hurt anywhere else?”

“No.”

“Is your vision blurred?”

“No.”

“Alright,” she nodded. “Otherwise, was tonight an okay night?”

Dex shifted on the exam table. “Yeah, it was fine. Easier than most.”

“Good,” she smiled. “Well, if nothing else hurts, then you’re free to go.”

“Thank you, __,” Dex says, and she realizes it's the first time he’s spoken her name. For a while there, she wondered if he ever cared to remember it. Maybe he was the type to have to warm up to someone first before he started a working relationship. That's alright—in a lot of ways, she was the same. “I appreciate it.”

And there it was again—another sentence from the agent she thought didn’t like her for the longest time. Sometimes the agents spoke of Dex in passing to her—saying the job went smoothly, save for Dex who was always too willing to go the extra mile when he didn’t need to. She never engaged in negative talk about him or anyone at the Bureau. She respected all their work. Everyone handles this job differently. Dex handles it in his way: by keeping to himself and keeping the conversation at a minimum. 

“You’re welcome,” she smiled. Dex offered a hint of a smile as he got up from the exam table. 

“Guess you can go home now?” Dex asks. He’s standing close to her as she crosses her arms, in an attempt to not appear nervous by the way he's looking at her. She's delighted at the attempts at conversation he’s finally making. 

“Yeah, you were the last agent I needed to see.”

“I’m sorry for keeping you,” he says, brows furrowed. 

“Don't be sorry. It’s my job,” she reasoned. “I like being here when I’m needed.”

Dex sighs; he looks tired. Despite his tiredness, she couldn’t deny how handsome he looked, even in the harsh fluorescent lighting of the room. 

“Night, Dex. Get home safe.”

“You too.” 

***

Another night of tending to wounded FBI agents. This time, the wounds weren’t as simple. Some of them got really banged up—stitches were required this time. She was hyper-focused on the stitching she had to do on Ray on his left shoulder. He had his sleeve hanging off his shoulder and sat stiffly on the exam table, holding his breath at every movement. 

“Not a good night, huh?” She asked. 

“No,” Ray shook his head. “Not the worst, but I’ve had better.”

“Good thing the bullet was just a graze,” she reasoned, finishing up the last of his stitching. “Alright. You need to take it easy with that arm this weekend.”

“Will do,” Ray nodded. “Good thing I can hide this from Sammy with long sleeves. I hate to see him worrying about me.”

“I know,” she sighed. She got up to take off her gloves and wash her hands. She undid her hair in her claw clip and brushed it before twisting it up again. “It must be hard. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Ray shook his head. “Part of the job. Anyways, got any fun plans this weekend?”

“Not really,” she leaned against the counter and crossed your arms. “Catching up on sleep, probably.” It was already nearly midnight at the Bureau. “You?”

“Taking Sammy to the zoo with his friends,” Ray said. “Should be fun.”

“It will be. I’ll see you Monday, Ray.”

Ray slides his jacket on and exits her exam room. She washes your hands again before preparing for the next—and final—agent she has to stitch up. Of course, it was Dex. He was always the last to be seen. Of all the agents, he managed to always get hurt the least. 

Dex is waiting patiently on the chair outside her exam room, anticipating his turn to see her. He enjoyed being around her because he didn’t have to pretend to be anyone—didn’t have to pretend the job was hard. All these men and women around him had families to come home to, or they had someone waiting at home for them. That’s what made it hard for them. Dex didn’t have anyone. That’s what made it so easy. 

And his fellow agents could never understand his nonchalantness about it all. He didn’t care. That was on them. He only got checked out by her because he had to—it was a requirement that all agents see the nurse before heading home after a task. Truthfully, he didn’t need to see her. Perhaps he just wanted to. 

“Dex?” She calls his name, pulling him from his thoughts. Dex is slouched in the chair, but he perks up when he hears her say his name. She leaves the door open and he closes it behind him when he enters her exam room. 

Her hair is up—he often wondered what it would look like if it were down. He's never seen her look casual before. Always in scrubs, always hair pushed back. Her scrubs were dark navy blue to match his FBI jacket, with a small FBI logo near her left shoulder. A piece of her hair falls to the front of her face, slightly framing it. He doesn’t blush, but he thinks she looks pretty. Really pretty. And tired, just like him. 

Dex takes his seat naturally on the exam table. She grabs her stethoscope and raises her hands to touch his face, but stops. 

“May I?” She asks, like she always did. Dex nods and looks away from her gaze. It was easier to get through these visits if he wasn’t looking at her. He feels her fingertips gently hold his face to get a better look at his wounds that don’t hurt that much. 

“Well, they’re not bad. Not bad at all,” she says, unsure if she is saying it out loud for herself or for him to know as well. He didn’t care if he was hurt. “Definitely will need cleaning though. But let me make sure your heart is all good and your head is fine.”

“It’s fine,” Dex reassures her, but he knows it’s no use. 

“I still have to check,” she gives a small smile. He nods in understanding. She places the stethoscope on his back and asks him to breathe deeply three times, which he does. Everything sounds good, she says. She then places her fingers on his head, searching for any bumps or bruises. He closes his eyes at this—truthfully, if he had a favorite part, this was it. For a moment, the thoughts that swarmed in his head were quieted when he felt her fingers trace over his head. It was hypnotizing almost, a trance he never wanted to snap out of. 

And when her hands disappeared, he was brought to reality. 

“All good,” she says softly. “I’ll clean up your wounds and you’ll be out of here before you know it.”

“You don’t have to rush,” Dex tells her. “I don’t need to be anywhere.”

“On a Friday night?” She questions with a smile as she cleans her hands at the sink. He knows she’s being nice, but truthfully he didn’t have anywhere to be. Just home. If he could even call it that. 

“Yeah,” he laughs half-heartedly, an attempt to match her attitude. “Got no plans for Friday.”

“Same here,” she sighs as she puts on the periwinkle-colored gloves. “My plans are sleep and more sleep.”

This time Dex laughs—really laughs—because he agrees. He hasn’t been getting much sleep lately, despite how tired all the time he feels. “I get that,” Dex nods. He relaxes a little bit more on the exam table. 

She dabs the cotton pad in alcohol and lets it dry before she places it on his wounds. There’s a cut on his forehead, right cheekbone and a little wound on his jawline. She opens her mouth to speak, but Dex cuts her off. 

“I know it’ll sting,” he says gently. “It’s fine.” 

She smiles sheepishly, “I do give that warning a lot, huh?”

“It’s alright,” Dex shrugs. “It’s nice to be warned of pain before it happens. That’s not always the case.”

“How—“ she begins, furrowing her eyebrows. Contemplating the wording of her question. “How do you brace yourself? For all this? This job?” 

Dex sighs. It wasn’t an easy question to answer, because he truthfully didn’t have an answer. Most agents would probably chalk it up to it being part of the job, but it wasn’t that simple for Dex. It… was just a job. If he got hurt, he got hurt. There was nothing else to it. No one would be upset if he got hurt—no one would cry for him. 

Plus, the other part of it, despite it sounding cocky… it was rare Dex ever got hurt in the line of battle. He was a sniper—he was part of the SWAT unit. He was the one who did the hurting. He was the one who used lethal force. It was rare he ever missed. 

“Mindset is everything,” Dex says anyway. “I know what I have to do. I have a job to do.”

“That makes sense,” she says, believing him. “I mean, if it makes you or any of the agents feel better, despite this being my job—it doesn’t make it any easier seeing you guys hurt like this.”

“It doesn’t?” Dex questions. 

“Of course not,” she said. “I’ve… gotten to know a lot of you over the past few months being here. A lot of these agents have families. A wife or husband to come home to. They open up about that a lot. There are other ways to be hurt than just having physical wounds.”

Dex takes in what she’s saying. He swallows hard. 

“It’s just me,” Dex tells her. “I’ve only got me to worry about me. That’s why it’s easier for me to come in and do what I need to do.” 

As she listens to him say this, a thought pings in her head. She noticed on the file she has on him that he didn’t have any relatives listed as an emergency contact. Ray had his wife, Hattley her husband—all the other agents had someone listed. But Dex had no one listed as an emergency contact. She knew he wasn’t being sheepish when he said he was all he had—it was the truth. Sad, but true. 

She doesn’t say anything in return. She continues to clean his wounds and bandage him up in silence—comfortable silence, for once. Dex’s eyes remain looking at the floor as she works her fingers around his temple. She gently lifts his chin with her fingers to get a better angle at the cut on his jaw—his jawline that appears to have been sculpted by the Gods. Being this close to him, she got a whiff of the faint smell of his cologne, now mixed with the smell of sweat. With one last check on his face, she tells him she’s done. 

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” She asks him, leaning against the counter and facing him. 

Dex rises from the exam table and circles his shoulder to stretch. “No. I’m fine.”

“Alright well,” she sighs, feeling somewhat shy by the way he’s looking at her, giving her his full attention. “Get home safe, Dex.”

“You, too, __,” Dex breathes out. “And thank you. I don’t know if I say that enough.”

“It’s alright—no need.”

With a small smile, Dex is almost on his way out of her exam room—until he hears her call his name under her breath. 

“Dex,” she says, hesitant with her words. “Don’t take this the wrong way. But you’re not all you have. You’re not alone. You’ve got me now to be worried about you,” she tells him, offering a genuine smile. 

Dex looks away from her, stumped by her words. Regardless if she really meant it or not—it was nice for him to hear. Nice to know that he could be wrong about something he’s always firmly believed. 

He doesn’t say anything in return. He holds her gaze for a few moments, holds her smile, and puts it to his memory. He smiles back. And then he leaves. Maybe he would get some good sleep tonight, knowing someone worried about him. 

[petertingle-yipyip]

MAD AT GOD - MATT MURDOCK

Series Finale - Vigilante Shit

tags: @ironprincessstranger @americaarse @johnmurphys-sass @dusstory @astrobees @mayasaurus--rex @woowwwee // eight // epilogue // masterlist

Pairing: Matt X Reader

Word Count: 13,587 (and you wonder why it took me so long.)

Summary: Ladies always rise above but when one lady’s simply had enough, revenge takes human form in Hell’s Kitchen’s Exodus. With her rightful partner beside her, they take on the Kingpin and his former Bullseye.

“Do you affirm that the testimony you are about to give in the case now before the court will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” The bailiff asked simply as you took your seat on the stand. “This you affirm under the pains and penalties of perjury?”

“Yes.” You nodded calmly. “I do.”

“For the record, please state your name.” The judge said.

“I’m Special Agent Y/N Y/L/N, FBI SWAT. I’ve been with the bureau for a bit less than a year and all statements made here today are my own. My testimony does not reflect the beliefs or positions of the FBI and I accept any and all consequences my statements may bring.” You answered, keeping your eyes ahead as Tower stood and took his place in front of you. “In the short amount of time that I’ve been with the FBI, I’ve witnessed my bureau, specifically members of my team, fall victim to Fisk’s vicious manipulation.”

“Please explain in detail the crimes you’ve witnessed.” He said simply.

“I’ve witnessed slander and false accusations against one of the Nelson and Murdock attorneys responsible for his first arrest. I’ve witnessed a breach of his house arrest. I’ve witnessed his recruitment of agents and using those agents to kill people, both civilians and other agents. I’ve witnessed him coerce other crime syndicates into complying with a tax to ensure protection from federal prosecution.”

“What agents have you seen?”

“Special Agents Arinori and Poindexter, Special Agent in Charge Hattley. Special Agent Rahul Nadeem and myself witnessed but never participated past that and a few targeted raids. Neither of us pulled the trigger for Wilson Fisk, but we did nothing to stop it. There were others but I didn’t interact with them much.”

“The other agents that were mentioned by Agent Nadeem?”

“I believe so. I don’t remember their names but I could pick them out of a lineup.”

“And how many people were killed?”

“SAC Hattley killed Agent Winn. Special Agent Poindexter killed multiple people, I believe he killed the most. Given his unique skill set, he was a prime target for Fisk’s games. Innocent people died because of Wilson Fisk, good people like Father Lantom, because no one on my team was brave enough to come forward.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Who would believe a novice agent who helped put Fisk away in the first place? He knew no one would believe me if I spoke up sooner, given my very outspoken opinions against him. There was an instance, when he brought up the Nelson and Murdock attorney, that I had caused a scene. My words were driven by my sentimentality regarding the firm since I did have a small stint as an attorney there. From there, it didn’t matter what I knew and he recognized that. It didn’t matter how many times Poindexter brought me along without telling me what was really happening. It didn’t matter who I saw get killed or the fact that I was against him leaving the prison to begin with. He knew my credibility was low and I had no evidence so I wasn’t a threat to his plans… Not until someone else had enough. Agent Nadeem helped give me the courage to come forward with what I’ve seen.”

You glanced around at the jury and found them all - save for the one juror - interested in what you would say next. Tower offered a small, proud smile and Ray listened intently with his hands folded in front of him. He gave you a small nod of reassurance.

“It’s a scary thing, to feel like you have no choice but to do things you don’t agree with. Sometimes you go along for self preservation, sometimes for the people you care about. But at the end of it all, we have our limits. We can only take so much deceit before we have to do something…” You allowed your eyes to water, a shakiness to tint your voice and a slight hesitation between your sentences. “I let him convince me that my word wouldn’t matter, that I- I would just be some voice in the wind. I let him take my conviction. But I’m not going to stand down, not anymore. Wilson Fisk is afraid of what we came here to say because it’s true. The attack on our transport wasn’t a coincidence, nor was it an accident. He attempted to have us killed because of what we know and what we came here to say. If he was truly innocent, why is he trying to cover his tracks?”

“You mentioned repercussions before. Do you worry the FBI will punish you for this?”

“Not the FBI, but the agents Fisk controls. My SAC is in his pocket. My partner is in his pocket. Besides Agent Nadeem, in that hotel, I’m alone. No one protects me the way they protect him… If I lose my job, fine. If I lose my partner, okay. But I cannot stand to lose my loved ones.”

“Thank you, Agent.”

You and Ray were led out after that and you met with your friends in the hall. While Matt chatted with Ray, Foggy offered you a proud smile and moved to hug you but you simply pushed his hands away and began pacing a short distance. You pushed your fingers into your hair and tugged slightly on the ends.

Foggy looked over to Matt for help, but he was still in his conversation with Ray. Knowing that a win today would help ensure Matt stayed on the right track, Foggy decided not to cut in and talk to you on his own. He stepped in front of you and put his hands on your upper arms. You looked at him with your lips pressed together and your eyebrows up.

“Talk to me. What’s going on?” Your friend tried, ducking down to meet your eyes.

“It’s shot. The whole thing is shot.” You answered quietly, trying not to gain any more attention. “He didn’t just know about the trial.”

“What do you mean?”

“So what happens now?” Ray asked, drawing both Foggy’s and your attention. His brows furrowed but you stepped past him before he could speak.

You grabbed Matt’s arm and pulled him a couple steps away as Foggy answered Ray’s question.

You leaned in to speak quietly with your hand still gripping his arm and Matt’s hand landed on your elbow.

“What do you hear?” You asked softly.

His brows furrowed as he listened in, taking a step closer to the doors. As he focused, the grip he had on your arm tightened. You closed your eyes and cursed quietly.

“No, no, no.” Matt muttered and you nodded. “The jurors.”

“Fisk got to them.” You confirmed and opened your eyes, rolling your shoulders back and regaining your composure. “I felt it when we went in but I was hoping I was wrong.”

You glanced around the halls and felt a surge of emotions outside. Everyone still seemed entranced in Karen’s press conference. You had to give it to her, the woman was brave.

After a few anxiety ridden minutes, Tower came out of the courtroom with an apologetic expression as he passed your group. You opened your mouth to speak but he simply shook his head and headed to the cameras outside. You tapped your implant and listened in on the live broadcast from outside and you felt your stomach drop.

At this time, the grand jury had elected not to indict Wilson Fisk. But this office, under my leadership, will pursue every lead, every piece of evidence that leads us to uncovering the truth. The agents that testified today were incredibly brave and we encourage anyone with evidence regarding this case to come forward.

Everything outside continued to spike as you shut off your device and one familiar feeling stood out among the chaos.

“Karen.” You said to yourself as the boys began moving. You looked at them for a second before making a move to the doors. A hand closed around your arm and dragged you in the other direction.

“No, I have to-“ You groaned and tried to pull away but you were shoved forward instead. Looking over, you saw it was Matt who dragged you with him.

You took one last look over your shoulder before giving in and following the group. They hurried into the closest restroom and you locked the door behind you all. Ray pushed through and took a minute to himself while being quite literally sick to his stomach.

“It’s not gonna end like this, Ray. We’re not gonna let it.” Matt promised while leaning against the stalls.

Foggy stood by the sinks and you slid down with your back against the door until you were sitting up on your toes. You had elbows on your propped up knees and your chin resting behind your gently balled fists. Your eyes were trained on the floor, tracing the grout lines between the tiles.

Your brain was running through every scenario you could. You thought about whether or not he’d send Dex after you and Ray. It’d have to wait. There’s no way Dex could take you both out in a locked down courthouse. Would he go after Karen for her press conference? Or had he already wrecked her credibility? All you knew for sure was that it needed to end.

“The system will work.” Foggy ensured and you sighed to yourself. 

“You still believe that?” Matt scoffed and you looked up at him.

“Stop it.” You said quietly and he offered a sarcastic expression towards you.

“We’ve been here before. We can fix this.. Tower will impanel another grand jury and try again. We’re not done here. Right, Y/N?”

“What keeps Fisk away from them this time though?” You asked simply as you turned towards your friend. “I wanna do this the right way, Foggy, but it’s not looking too good for us.”

“I told you this would happen.” Matt cut in.

“Matt, stop.” You sighed and pushed yourself to stand. “Fighting each other isn’t gonna help.”

“I need to know where you’re going.” Foggy blocked Matt’s path.

“Guys.” You warned firmly as Matt said “I’m gonna find Tower. Make sure he tries again.”

“I’m going with you.” You offered and you saw him roll his eyes behind his glasses. “Unless there’s a problem?”

“No.” He said tightly. “No problem.”

“Good.” You nodded before leaning closer to Foggy. “Take care of him. Don’t let him lose his nerve.”

Your friend nodded and you grabbed Matt’s arm on the way out.

“God, y’know what, we should’ve just done it our way from the start.” Matt mumbled. 

“Our way?” You laughed. “This is our way. The other thing? That’s my way, Matthew. You’ll never be able to do it and it’s not a bad thing. You can’t force yourself to.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I almost wanna dare you to try because I know you won’t.”

“A lot has changed, Y/N.”

“Sure, but people don’t completely flip on their morals.” You scoffed.

“Maybe I did. You don’t know.”

“Actually I do, because you’re too strong to do it. You have a certain faith in people that you can’t learn. If you were capable of doing what I do, Dex wouldn’t be around anymore. You believe that people can do good. It’s not the worst ideology to hold on to.”

“Clearly not everyone can.”

You stopped walking and yanked his arm to stop him. He groaned and faced you, a tight grip on his cane and a clench to his jaw.

“This isn’t just about you!” You insisted. “You do understand that, right?”

“Of course I know that. You really think I don’t?”

“Why is it your responsibility then?”

“Because it is!”

“So why didn’t you work this hard to stop me?” You challenged quietly. “If not everyone can be better, why didn’t you try to kill me? I gave you every reason to give up on me, treat me this exact same way, but you never did.”

“You’re not the same, Y/N.” He sighed.

“Thankfully, neither are you and I. There’s always been someone taking people from me. Took my parents, Marc, Frank, Yelena and Nat, Billy, even you - twice - and Foggy, now Dex. I’m not gonna lose you a third time.”

“Y/N, I didn’t realize-“

“No, you never do. You never see beyond what you’re doing. You do this and there’s no coming back from it. Something in your heart is gonna change and you can’t change it back. You can’t undo it.”

“I’m sorry. I just want this to be over with.”

“I know but…” You sighed and looked around, shifting your weight between your feet.

You were hit with a sudden feeling of determination. You turned towards where it came from, the bathroom you left Foggy and Ray in. With a quiet curse, you hurried back, only to find Ray gone and Foggy knocked out.

You screamed out in frustration and slammed an angry fist into the mirror, watching it shatter and become stained with the bloody print of your knuckles. You pushed out of the room and back into the hall, scanning the crowds in an effort to find him. But you saw nothing.

Ray was gone. And the clock was ticking on what kind of countermove Fisk would make against him. Against all of you.

You practically ran out of the courthouse, pushing past various security and reporters. They shouted questions, mentioning your badge and asking what side you were testifying for, but ignored them all. Some yelled that you were working for Fisk, you were one of the corrupted agents, but all you offered them was the middle finger.

From there, you ran home. The sun was already setting and you were running out of time. You changed quickly and used your mask to scan as far as it could.

You had finally heard from Rick and you were talking to Seema while wandering the streets.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Seema asked towards the end of the conversation.

“I wish I could tell you for sure… But I can’t. What we’ve done has put a massive target on us and our loved ones. All I know is that yours and Sami’s safety is all he cares about.”

“Tell him I love him.”

“I will. When I find him, he’ll call for goodbyes and then you can send a pin to that number I gave you. After that, ditch the phone.”

It wasn’t until hours later did you find him.

He went home.

You practically sprinted through the neighborhood to get there. The front door was open, side gate cracked, and the police tape was stretched from someone pushing it aside. The house was empty but you could see two figures in the backyard.

“…I can help you cut a deal with the DA.” Ray tried. “We can take him down, us and Y/N.”

Dex gripped his gun tightly, though he hadn’t lifted it yet. His entire body was tense, practically vibrating with the anticipation of what he would do next. There was still a heavy apathy from Dex but there was an undercut of hesitation. Ray was still his friend, and that meant something to him. Not enough to change his mind, but something. Something you might be able to use against him.

“No.. That’s not gonna happen, Ray.” Dex shook his head with a small scoff.

“Dex.” You said carefully, pushing your mask up and lifting your hands in surrender. You walked slowly, putting yourself between the two former friends. “Think about this.”

“Move.” He answered tightly.

“I can help you, if you let me… Don’t make me your enemy, please.”

You tried to emphasize that hesitation but he would shove it back down as soon as it came up.

“I feel more myself than I have in my whole life. Fisk gave me that.”

“This isn’t you talking. This?” You gestured slightly between the two of you. “This is Fisk. He’s gotten in your head, Dex, and he’s turned us against each other. Don’t let him win! ”

“You don’t know me!” He shouted and you instinctively woke your Bite. “See?” He chuckled humorously. “You don’t really trust me.”

“What happened to the man that helped save my life?” You pressed gently with a pleading expression, taking a tentative step forward as you lowered your hands. Your devices still glowed at your wrists and Dex’s grip on his gun shifted. “At the carousel, remember? You rode with me in the ambulance, stayed at the hospital until I woke up. Where’s he?”

“That wasn’t me. It was you. It was your games.” He spat and your brows dropped and your jaw clenched.

“She cared about you, Dex.” Ray said from your side with a hand on your shoulder. “We both did. The only person that changed that was you.”

“Let me help you.” You tried that soft spot again. “I can’t do anything for you after this. I won’t.”

“I don’t care.” He shook his head and you nodded slightly, slowly moving a hand to reach one of the weapons at your belt. “I don’t need your help.”

“As long as I’m alive, my family’s at risk.” Ray admitted, though there was no hesitation.

Sadness, definitely, but it wasn’t any sudden revelation. Instead, it was acceptance. Understanding.

“Ray?” You asked over your shoulder.

“It’ll be alright.”

“Let’s go, Ray.” Dex said, lifting his gun. You sidestepped to put yourself in front of Ray again as you drew your own weapon. “Move, Y/N.”

There was a slight plea in his expression, though his body language didn’t falter.

Something human was left in Dex, some tiny flicker of light. Something like that used to be enough for Matt to believe in, to give them a chance to change. Without him honoring his own prior morals, you realized that was part of why you didn’t give up on Dex.

Not the sex or the friendship. But the hope, hope that months of running around with the altar boy vigilante attached to your hip pinned to your own conscience. The ability to see something good in someone so far off their path. You never understood that ideology until recently but now… Now it felt like that was your own code.

But clearly, the flicker wasn’t enough. And you couldn’t work by someone else’s morality.

“Thought you were good enough to shoot around me.” You taunted as you lined up your own gun.

“I’m not going anywhere with you, Dex.” Ray said and you felt that wave of acceptance again. “Whatever you need to do, you do it here.”

Ray had accepted his own death. And the only way you could stop it would be to kill Dex. You turned to face Ray, purposefully putting your body in front of his with the hopes that Dex wouldn’t shoot through.

“We can still get out of this.” You tried, feeling a deep regret settle in your stomach. “I can-“

“And do what, run? I can’t put my family through anything else, Y/N.”

“Ray, please. I can’t bring your family back to you if you’re in a body bag.”

“Hey.” He put a hand on your shoulder. “Just do this the right way, alright?”

“Seema wanted me to te-“

Before you could get the sentence out, the gun fired behind you. The bullet nicked your ear but hit its mark.

You backed away with unsteady legs while Ray fell to the ground with a bullet hole in his forehead. Your gun fell from your hands as you collapsed to your knees. Almost instantly your eyes watered as you stared at the now corpse of your friend. It was almost enough to make you scream as you sat beside the man that risked everything to stand up to Fisk, to stand up for what he believed in. To protect his family.

His family.

Your heart broke for Seema and Sami, and you thought about who would give them the news. The news that you had failed. You didn’t keep him safe.

“She loves you.” You said quietly as your entire body ran cold. “Seema wanted me to tell you she loves you.”

Your hand shook as you reached for your scar and pressed it, sliding along until you heard the dial tone.

“911, what is your emergency?”

“This is.. This is Exodus.” You spoke shakily with your accent, fighting to keep control as the tears fell down your cheeks. “I’m at.. Fisk had him killed. He’s- He’s dead. I need.. I need an ambulance or police or something. Just send someone!”

“Exodus? Okay um…” The line went quiet as the operator spoke to someone else on the side, probably asking advice with a vigilante on the line. “Where are you? Who’s dead?”

“Special-“ Your voice broke. “Special Agent Rahul Nadeem. He shot him in his own backyard.”

“Did you see who killed him?”

“No.. No, he was gone before I got here. I just heard the shot.”

“Okay. We have units en route. Can you stay with Mr.Nadeem until they arrive?”

“No, I- I have to go. They’ll arrest me. I- I have to- I have to go. I can’t be here when they arrive.”

“Wait.”

“He has a wife and a son. Just tell um, tell Detective Brett Mahoney to contact Nadeem’s legal team. Someone has to tell them.”

“Ma’am, please, just wait until-“

“I can’t… I can’t, I’m sorry.”

You ended the call and looked down at Ray.

“I’m sorry, Ray. I’m so sorry.”

You sat back for a moment to pull your knees to your chest. You wrapped your arms around them and rocked slightly as you let yourself cry. You tried to keep the noise down, but small wails left your throat. When you heard the sirens down the street, you had to pull yourself together and collect your gun. With one last look, you hopped the fence and made your way back to the apartment.

You tried to push the guilt away but it came back to gnaw at you. You should’ve just killed Dex. You shouldn’t have tried to reason with him. You should’ve taken him down when you got there. Why did you reveal yourself? Why didn’t you kill him? Why didn’t you do anything?

You had your own ways for a reason. Using Matt’s wouldn’t bring back the man you knew. And it wouldn’t save anyone.

Now Ray was dead and it was your fault.

All you could do was keep moving forward. But there was nothing more Y/N could do. The chance with the law and by the books was over. You wanted to stay on the path, to do things Foggy’s way - the right way - but you were at your wits end. Every time you tried to do things right, you lost. You wouldn’t lose again.

You wouldn’t dress yourself as Exodus to serve a villain. You wouldn’t dress as Exodus to serve the innocent. You would dress for revenge. You would dress to renew the sense of fear that your vigilante persona - just her name - used to invoke. To make Ben Poindexter pay for the lives he took. To make Wilson Fisk pay for the crimes he’d committed. And if they paid with their lives, so be it.

You wouldn’t be nice any longer. Both men had pushed you too far.

Killing people was easy. Making them suffer was an art, and you had spent years developing your craft. You would make them regret the moment you were made their enemy.

You ignored the phone calls from Foggy. His voicemails all said he needed to talk to you and he didn’t want to say it on a message, so you knew Brett told them what happened. Other numbers you didn’t recognize called but you ignored them too. Reporters, you figured.

On your way home, you were distracted by the distinct taste of fear. With a small noise of interest, you followed it. You weren’t necessarily shocked to see Matt was there at the source, but it was a surprise to see him with Felix Manning.

“Should’ve called.” You told him as you got to his side.

“Didn’t have time.” He shrugged with that smirk he always used to have back when you found him when you two didn’t know each other’s identities. When things were a lot simpler. “You hear what happened?“

“To Nadeem? How we fucked it up, again.”

“Yeah.” He answered in a whisper.

You nodded quietly and he frowned slightly. He reached for your arm but you crossed them over your chest and peered over the edge, looking at the knot that held Manning’s ankle. You gave the rope a small shake and the man screamed with a new wave of panic.

“What have you gotten so far?” You turned to Matt, though the mask did little to hide his expression. “Stop looking at me like that.”

He opened his mouth for a joke but you smacked his arm before he could get a word out. He laughed quietly and put his hands up in surrender.

“Fisk’s gathering a bunch of figureheads for a wedding.” Matt explained.

“Vanessa’s gonna marry him?” Your brows furrowed and Matt gave a nonchalant shrug. You leaned over the edge and yelled to Manning. “Do we get an invite?”

All he could do was scream.

“Sounds like a no.” Matt answered and you almost smiled, though Manning’s screams were rather distracting.

You groaned loudly before reaching forward. You made a small pulling motion and felt the fear draw out of him. The yellow smoke came to your hand and swirled up your arm and you felt the tingle down your spine as you absorbed it.

“I can give you something better.” Manning called from the end of the rope.

You hummed in interest and climbed to sit on the ledge, feet kicking idly as Matt sat beside you with his ankles crossed. If it hadn’t been for the man dangling just a few feet down, it would’ve been a nice moment together.

“We’re listening.” Matt said simply.

“I witnessed Ms. Marianna order the murder of Agent Nadeem. And Fisk ordered many!” He shouted and you felt a new wave of anger run down your spine. You ground your teeth and balled your hands into fists. Matt’s hand came up to your jaw and pressed gently on the joint to make you release the tension. You made a small noise and took his hand off your face, holding it between your own and dropping into your lap. “Agent Winn. Julie Barnes. I could testify!”

“Где был этот парень раньше?” You muttered and Matt nudged you with his shoulder. “Мог бы позволить ему умереть вместо Рэя.” (Where was this guy earlier? Could’ve let him die instead of Ray.)

“Будь милым.” Matt said with light amusement in his voice. He knew what happened to Ray upset you and he figured you would blame yourself. But at least your words were what he was used to. “Мы могли бы его использовать.” (Be nice. We could use him.)

“Hang on..” You realized and peered over the edge. “We know Winn and Nadeem. Did you say Julie Barnes?”

“Yes! Yes, he did!”

You let out a laugh in celebration and the sound seemed misplaced in the current situation. That was exactly what you had been waiting for. Confirmation. Confirmation of the one thing that could snap Dex, in every sense of the word. Confirmation that Julie Barnes, the woman that he had been obsessing over since before you met him, was dead and that Fisk was to blame.

“Help me get him up.” You told Matt quickly as you climbed back to the roof.

“Why?” Matt asked, though he followed suit.

“Ты хотел подтолкнуть Декса на грань? Вот как мы это делаем.” You answered quickly and he nodded quietly. (You wanted to push Dex to the brink? This is how we do it.)

You got Manning to tell you everything you needed to know about Julie. How she was killed. Where she was killed. Where her body currently was. Everything you needed to throw in Dex’s face and break whatever was left.

A day or two later, you were standing at a press conference at the bureau. It was an official statement regarding Ray and Agent Winn’s deaths. Hattley claimed Ray was mentally unstable, that Karen was a liar and the alleged 911 call from Exodus was fake. You almost laughed when Hattley had to redirect questions about Exodus finding the body, but she admitted it was an agent who killed him, under the guise of self-defense.

You tried to duck out of the office following the press conference but a hand wrapped around your arm tightly. You let out a small wince when you were yanked back before you were redirected and pushed towards one of the conference rooms. You were able to yank your arm free just outside the door, where you saw Seema sitting inside.

“What the hell is this?” You asked sharply as you spun on Dex. “You wanna rub salt in her wounds?”

“She came to us, said she wants to see Ray’s lawyers.” He explained simply.

“So what?”

“So call them.”

“Why? So you can put a bullet in them too?”

“If you don’t, I’ll put a bullet in you.”

“You should’ve done it last time. Too late now.”

“Really wanna do this here?” His brows raised. You glanced around, noting the mostly empty hall. The only other agents were ones you remembered seeing at that meeting. You were outnumbered and while you could likely handle the ordeal, a shoot out in the office wasn’t something you wanted to instigate with everything else you had going on. “You’re so paranoid, Y/N/N. I’ll call him myself. Not like anyone’s gonna hurt him.” Dex smirked and began to back away.

“Dex.” You called out and he paused, allowing you to move closer. “Are you happy now? Ray’s dead. Seema and Sami are alone. Fisk is getting married. Daredevil’s image is shot… Is that what you wanted?”

He chuckled weakly and nodded. “I thought all this empathy crap was done.”

You gave a weak shrug. It wasn’t even an attempt to change his mind. It was just you being an asshole. “One last shot, I guess… Maybe you were right after all. You don’t love me, not anymore at least. You’re incapable of loving anyone, of feeling anything.”

“Careful, Y/N. You’re getting predictable.” He tapped a finger under your chin and left.

You huffed a sigh and shot a quick text to Foggy, asking him to come to the bureau. You headed back to the main office and began busying yourself with some paperwork until your friend arrived.

A sharp whistle drew your attention and you looked up to see Dex waving you over. You got to his side as Foggy lifted his phone to take a picture, one you were just in time to smile for.

“Posted to my campaign webpage, and the tens of thousands of police officers that know that I’m here. With you. Helping.” Foggy said firmly and you tried to hide the proud smile.

“Relax, Mr. Nelson. You’re not in any danger.” Dex said lowly, a hand landing on your lower back that you almost jumped away from. “Agent Y/L/N even came to help put you at ease.”

You jammed an elbow into his ribs and he laughed slightly.

“Besides, you’ll be very useful when you’re the next district attorney.”

“Why am I here?” Foggy looked to you.

“Because you and Ray were friends.” Dex answered instead and you rolled your eyes.

“If you’re expecting him to answer questions, it’ll break privilege, even if the client’s dead.” You explained.

“I’m not asking him to.” It was Dex’s turn to roll his eyes. “Follow me.”

Dex led you and Foggy back to the room where you saw Seema waiting. You wanted to offer her a sincere apology, to comfort her and admit that it was your fault Ray was dead, but Hattley’s presence made you keep those thoughts to yourself.

“We’ll give you the room. Take all the time you need.” Hattley said after a brief exchange between Dex and Seema.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” You managed and she looked at you with slight tears in her eyes. “Ray was a good man.”

Dex’s hand fit tightly to your elbow and he dragged you away. You all left Foggy with Seema and stepped back into the hall.

“Suck it up.” Dex sneered.

“I’m only doing this because I have to.” Hattley snapped back before the two split ways. You let out a sigh and headed back to your desk.

You decided you were going to leave again at lunch, figuring your time at that job was limited anyway so why be a good agent anymore. You had just dropped into your chair, a small cloud of blue proofing out as you did, when Dex grabbed your arm and hauled you away again. You sucked in a breath between gritted teeth and you knew there’d be a bruise there by the end of the day. When you two got to a secluded area, he pushed you against the wall and put his call on speaker. He held a hand against your mouth and your brows furrowed, though you showed no other reaction. You decided against fighting back, knowing it would be more trouble than it was worth.

Plus, you were intrigued.

“I’ve got some free time now. Why don’t we meet up?” Dex said, keeping eye contact with you while pressing that forearm against your chest near your throat as a threat.

“I have a question.” Matt’s voice came from the other side and your eyes went a bit wider. Dex offered a slight smirk as he caught your expression. “Did you enjoy the feeling you got when you killed those birdies? Is that why you’re still killing?”

“Birdies?”

“The ones you killed with rocks. I bet it felt good at first, right?”

“Stop.” You tried, your voice muffled from behind Dex’s hand and he pushed your head to bang against the wall.

“Then it’s never the same after that.”

You put one hand on his chest and the other on his wrist and tried to push Dex off. He growled slightly and pressed harder, causing you to release a small noise when the pressure hit your chest and then a sharp sensation erupted from your still healing stab wound.

“Who was that?” Matt asked suddenly.

“Your little girlfriend.” Dex taunted and you struggled against him, but he leaned into you with more of his body weight. “She’s a pretty little thing, isn’t she? ‘Specially when she’s helpless.”

“What do you think Dr. Mercer would say if she could see you now?” Matt continued and you sighed. You wondered if he was purposefully not showing a reaction or if it just didn’t bother him.

You leaned back into the wall and Dex noticed your shift away from him. Dex’s eyes darted between yours but you knew yours were empty. There was no feeling behind your eyes when you looked at Dex, and he recognized that. He recognized that you no longer saw him the same.

Slowly he leaned away but held a finger to his lips to gesture for you to keep quiet. Maybe it actually hurt him for you to give up on him.

Good.

“Got a second?” He spoke finally. “I need a tissue for all the tears I’m crying over my shitty childhood.”

“Have you heard from your friend Julie lately?”

“Что ты делаешь?” You whispered as your brows furrowed, trying to figure out Matt’s plan. You two had talked about bringing it up to Dex together so you could guarantee neither of you were at risk. Why do it now? (What are you doing?)

“You wanna talk to Dr. Mercer, asshole? Keep talking. Or I could send your girlfriend instead.”

“What do you think she’d say if she knew about the innocent people you killed?” Matt continued. “I bet she’d be disappointed, Dex.”

“If she was still alive.” You mumbled.

Dex’s attention snapped to you and a hand was quick to come around your throat to force you back against the wall. The air left your lungs while his hand gripped you tighter and you cursed Matt for starting problems.

“If you hurt Julie-“ He threatened lowly and lifted so your feet could barely reach the ground.

“I never touched her.” You choked out. “She was innocent.”

“Did he?”

“Fisk had her killed. He knew what she meant to you so he killed her, gave himself a chance to replace her as your North Star.” You answered quickly.

He was quiet for a moment while he took in your expression. When he believed you weren’t lying, he eased off.

“When he realized he couldn’t kill me, he went after her… She was an easy mark. I'm sorry. There was nothing I could do.” You added while rubbing your tender throat and he gave a slow nod.

“Don’t tell me that’s sympathy in your voice, Ex.” Matt said.

“Shut up.” You snapped quickly.

“Don’t feel bad for a guy who’s tried to kill us both, multiple times.”

“Shut. Up. It’s not about him.”

“You should stick to beating on people in alleys, cause you’re not gonna get in my head.” Dex said tightly, though you could feel something underlying in his words. It almost felt like.. grief.

Maybe there was something more than a flicker left in Dex. But that wouldn’t change anything. It couldn’t.

“You don’t have to believe us.. Then again, you may wanna ask how I got Manning’s phone.”

“Don’t know, don’t care.” Dex answered sharply.

“Julie wouldn’t approve of your killing people, Dex.”

“Stop. Saying. Her name.” Dex practically growled. The familiar heart of his rage hit you. The soft spot he had for you may have faded away, but he’d always feel a certain way for Julie.

“You said you got some free time? You may wanna check out 16 Canal Place.”

“Why?”

The line cut out after that. Dex slowly turned to face you and your sidestepped carefully to ensure your back was no longer against the wall.

“What’s at Canal Place?” He asked tightly.

“Julie…” You answered quietly. Beneath the surface you were adding to the pressure of his anger, trying to break him. “I’m sorry, Dex. I know she was important to you.”

“What the hell is your deal?” He asked angrily and you took another step back. “What- What- What do you gain from all of this?”

“I had no part in this.” You countered firmly, forgetting about your game for a moment. “All of this-“ You gestured between you two. “-was done without me knowing.”

“Bullshit.” He scoffed.

“I wouldn’t taunt you with this. You know me better than that.”

“Do I?”

“Don’t believe me then.” You shrugged. “I don’t care anymore. I tried being nice, didn’t work. I tried being a bitch, kind of working. I tried empathy, didn’t work.” You pushed past him.

“Where are you going?” He called after you.

“Away from you.”

That night, you took a trip to Canal Place dressed in your latest, modified vigilante costume - compression shirt and vest. You still hadn’t patched your full suit and top. You arrived a few minutes ahead of Dex, but he wasn’t your point. You made your way to the roof and found Matt already there. You made sure to keep your distance, knowing you’d punch him in the teeth if you got too close.

“Wanna tell me what the hell that was on the phone?” You asked simply.

“I knew he wasn’t gonna hurt you.” Matt reasoned as he pulled the black mask off.

“That’s not the point. We were gonna do it together.”

“I needed to make sure.”

“Of what?”

“That you hadn’t gone soft.”

“So you play with my life?”

“C’mon, Y/N/N.” He scoffed. “He wasn’t gonna kill you.”

“The bruise around my neck says otherwise.” You countered angrily.

His body language shifted and you saw the flex of his hand. He ran a stressed hand over his mouth before he spoke again.

“You said it yourself. He loves you.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“That’s not what-“

“Well I was wrong.” You cut in quickly.

“You’re never wrong about this stuff.”

“You think that excuses any of that?” You laughed and moved closer. “You think that excuses you pushing him when I’m the one that would’ve had to deal with the fallout?”

“You could’ve protected yourself if he tried anything.”

“So that’s it? You put me in the line of fire and taunt the most unstable man I’ve ever met, just because you can? Just because I can fight back.”

“Were you honestly afraid?” He asked carefully, head cocking in interest.

You thought about the interaction and didn’t remember feeling afraid. In fact, you felt completely in control without touching your abilities in that regard.

“He felt something.” You said instead. “When you talked about Julie… Grief.”

“So what?”

“So that means there might still be something worth saving in him. That used to be what you stood for, Matt. That chance used to be enough.”

“Oh come on.” He scoffed. “What happened to the woman that was ready to kill him?”

“And what happened to the man that didn’t wanna kill anyone? What happened to the altar boy that believed everyone could change, that just a small piece of goodness was enough for another chance? Where’s the man from that rooftop with Frank, who had a gun to his head, but still insisted on preaching about giving people a chance to change?”

“What do you want me to do, huh?” He asked loudly. “You want me to- to take the guy to therapy? Hold his hand and promise it’ll be okay? The guy’s psycho! And he’s dangerous.”

Your remark was cut off by a loud scream. A sound of pure agony that you almost swore was accompanied by the sharp sound of a snap and a shaky wave of heat. It was an uneven, broken feeling that had bits of cold air weaved in between. It was as if the anger was cracking and the sadness was patching the gaps.

You turned to face Matt again but he was already holding a ringing phone in front of him. You took a few steps closer.

“When I find you…” Dex threatened lowly.

“Like we said, Fisk killed her and we all know it.” Matt countered smoothly.

“Think about it, Dex.” You added on. “Who got Julie the job in the hotel, right after the detail starts? Who started following you? It’s all been Fisk.”

“You let him turn you into a murderer!” Matt kept going. You knew you should stop him, that he was pushing too hard. You started to feel a bit of regret for what you had to do to Dex, but you also knew you needed him to turn against Fisk.

Besides, you didn’t owe him anything anymore.

“He wasn’t gonna let someone like Julie get in the way of that.” You offered, gentler than the venom Matt spoke with. 

“Why are you telling me this?” Dex asked lamely, as if everything he had - everything that mattered - was gone. And for him, maybe it was.

“Aw, Dex..” You said quietly, more to yourself than either of the boys. Matt scoffed lightly and stepped away, adding a comment about Fisk and the wedding before ending the call.

“You can’t tell me that you really care about him still.” Matt said angrily. “After everything he’s done to us.”

“I’m allowed to feel bad for ruining a man’s entire mental state just to take down a different man.” You answered sarcastically. “Regardless if I care about him or not.”

“You didn’t ruin that guy. There was hardly anything to ruin.”

“There used to be..”

“Who’s side are you on, Y/N? Because you can’t have everything.”

“No, but I can remember the guy he was before. Matt, he helped save my life, kept me from bleeding out on the way to the hospital.”

“That makes up for everything. Why didn’t you mention it sooner?” He offered sarcastically.

“Why are you so bitter?” You shouted. “You have everyone back and it’s still not enough.”

He simply shook his head.

“Why are you so hell bent on destroying him?”

“He killed Father Lantom!” Matt screamed, new anger rolling off him. “But that doesn’t matter, right? Because he lost someone too.”

“That’s not what I’m saying! I cared about Lantom, too.”

“Not like I did.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that, but-“

“But nothing. Just because you slept with him doesn’t make him worth anything.”

“Say that again.” You said lowly, your head tilting with a slight challenge. Your muscles tightened and your hands flexed as you crossed your arms to wake the devices around your wrists. “I dare you.”

He sighed heavily and lifted his hands in surrender.

“Y’know, you’re making it so hard to want to help you. And at this point, I don’t know if you’re doing it on purpose or if you are just that pathetic now.”

“I’m pathetic… Okay.” He mumbled with a scoff before turning away from you.

“I may be a bitch and I may be a killer, but at least I don’t willingly treat people that love me like shit. At least I feel bad when I’ve hurt someone I used to care about… But I guess you just don’t care anymore, right? You left your conscience under Midland, right?”

“You know that’s not true.” He sighed, almost visibly deflating. “I’m doing this because I-“

“Don’t give me that shit.” You cut in firmly, taking quick strides to stand in front of him. “I’m so goddamn tired of that excuse from you, Matt.” Your finger jammed into his chest. “You’re not protecting anyone by being an asshole.. All you’re doing is becoming exactly what you want to protect this city from. You’re becoming what Exodus used to be. Now I look like the soft one. The weak one.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to! Jesus Christ, how many times do we have to have this same conversation before it gets through your head?” You tapped his temple quickly before pushing his head away.

“I understand that we’re different now. I never said we could go back to what we were. You’re the one who said you can’t have both.”

“I never said that.”

“In the van with Ray. You said that you had to give up certain people and you looked right at me.”

“For the love of..” You muttered before a disbelieving laugh. “I wasn’t saying that I wanted to give you up. I meant that you gave us up. You won’t let yourself have it both ways.”

“Right, because you’re not one to self-sabotage to try torture yourself? You- You don’t ruin anything good in your life to try and make up for all the bad shit you’ve done?”

You stood in silence for a moment, mouth opening to defend yourself but your voice keeping quiet. You wanted to talk back, to tell him that he was an idiot. You wanted to scold him for not truly understanding why you had done everything you had, why you had sabotaged so many relationships in the past. But that was what he wanted. He wanted to keep egging you on that way, maybe you’d be pissed off enough to be like the old you. The one who was so angry with the way the world was that you were going to kill anyone you thought would fix it. And as tempting as it was, as justified as you felt your anger would be, someone needed to keep a level head.

But also, it wasn’t for his sake. It was Ray’s voice lingering in the back of your mind, serving as the safety on your otherwise unrelenting trigger finger.

Just do this the right way, alright?

“Whatever. Think what you want about me.” You shrugged and your devices disarmed. He must’ve heard the current shut off because his brows raised with interest. “I’m gonna go patch my suit and head to the Presidential. If I see you, you better have your goddamn head on straight.”

“Держись подальше от меня сегодня вечером.” He said simply, causing a small scoff from your chest. (Stay out my way tonight.)

“Забавно. Я собирался сказать тебе то же самое.” (Funny. I was going to tell you the same thing.)

You headed home after that, ignoring whatever snarky comment he made when you turned your back. You got home quickly and pulled your suit from the closet. It was the first time you had seen it since the attack on the church. The blood was still soaked into the fabric, the gaping hole in the center. It brought you back to that night and the scar on your stomach burned.

You pushed through it and gave it a thorough wash before repairing the damage, not perfectly but enough to get through the night. You fit it in place and zipped the familiar top over it. As you were sliding your gloves on, you found the small insignias you had carved into the forearm plates. A small skull and two overlapping D’s.

Matt and Frank, Punisher and Daredevil. The two men that were able to sneak through your guards and understand who you were. The two men who knew what you stood for and stood beside you.

The two most important people left in your life.

You fit the rest of your equipment on; boots, Bites, belt, staff pack, and mask. You thought a lot on your way to the hotel. You thought about your relationships with Dex and Matt.

There was no way to repair the damage between you and Dex. You wouldn’t be friends or anything romantic when the night ended. The latter you could deal with, but losing the former was a bit of a bummer. Dex was damaged and your influence probably made it worse. You had a hand in breaking whatever structure and balance Dex had. You used him as a pawn in your game with Fisk and he was ultimately the one to suffer.

You and Matt had been back and forth since he came back. One night he’s begging you to stay and the next he tries to make you the bad guy for being human - for being exactly what he wanted you to be when you had first met. Despite that, despite his uncharacteristic bloodlust as of late, you couldn’t turn your back on him.

You still loved him, after all.

You moved through the parking garage with ease. You came across an abandoned SUV and when you went to check it, you instantly regretted it. In the passenger seat sat Julie’s frozen corpse.

“We really did it this time, didn’t we?” You mumbled to yourself before you heard the groans of the nearby agent on the ground. You moved to his side and grabbed his face to turn him towards you.

“Where’d he go?” You asked firmly, to which he continued his pained sounds. “Where is Poindexter?” You urged again.

He pointed weakly towards the door to the stairwell so you left him on the floor and began your climb. As you climbed, you called Matt.

But he didn’t answer.

You tapped your mask to track the microphone you had left him with and saw he was already a few levels ahead of you. You blew out a sigh and decided to call Foggy instead.

“Hey.” He said with a relieved sigh. “Please tell me-“

“He’s already here.. They both are.” You cut in as you leaned over the bar to angle a shot for your wire towards one of the higher railings. “I’m on my way to them.”

“You have to stop him, Ex.”

You smiled to yourself as your wire looped around the metal. You climbed over and began a quicker ascend.

“Well I’ve tried that, a lot, and it’s not working.” You said simply, mentally counting off floors as you passed. “We need to try something different.”

“Like what?”

“Like a bluff.”

“A bluff?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay… I’m not following.”

“Clearly.” You mumbled as you swung your feet over the final railing. “What I’m saying is what if I stay out of his way.”

“You wanna let him do it?”

“You really think he will?” You asked simply as you unwrapped and tucked away your wire.

“Right now, I don’t know what he’ll do.”

“The guy we know is still in there.. I know it sounds crazy but it’ll work. He wouldn’t know whether I mean it or not. He can’t read me the way he reads everyone else. I don’t let him.”

He was quiet for a moment, likely getting Karen’s opinion.

“But what if it doesn’t work? What if.. we lose him forever?” 

“You gotta trust me.”

“I do but… Is it worth the risk of losing him?”

“I get it. But I don’t see any other option. He has to see for himself that he’s too good to do it.”

“If he can’t, are you going to?”

“Not unless I have to.”

“Will you stop him?”

“I don’t know.”

You ended the call, not allowing any other argument from Foggy. Instead, you pushed into the hall and practically sprinted to the ceremony. As you were coming up on the doors, your implant picked up on Ray’s voice. You didn’t know what it was, some sort of deathbed confession maybe, but it made your chest tight.

As you moved, you passed agent after agent on the ground. Labored breathing or groans of pain came from the bodies and you were moderately relieved that they weren’t dead. At least he had some restraint left, whichever one did all of it.

“I’d like to make a toast.” Dex said shakily from the stage as you entered the ballroom. “Julie and I wish you the absolute best.”

Dex pulled back to throw the microphone so you sprung into action. A serving tray came flying in front of Fisk and the microphone bounced off as you were passing by. Dex looked between you and who you assumed was Matt. You noticed his attention on something behind you and you turned just in time to see the agents lift their guns.

You dropped to the floor and ducked behind one of the tables. When the shots faltered you came out and hopped the table. With both hands on the surface, you kicked out and sent one agent falling into the one behind him. You took a disc from your belt and tossed it, highly charged bolts shooting out of the small device at the two agents. They fell with tight convulsions before Dex threw silverware that landed in their necks.

Matt took off and you were quick to follow him, leaving Dex and the remaining agents in the ballroom. The gunshots echoed throughout the halls as you ran and it sent a chill down your spine.

You noticed the annoyed shake of Matt’s head but you said nothing. You followed him up to the room that covered Fisk’s control center.

He burst in first with you close behind. He acted quickly and threw one of the men towards you. You reacted instantly and pulled a staff. You had to duck his flailing arms so you swung the weapon to knock his legs from under him. Once the agent fell to his back, you slammed the weapon against his temple. You flicked out the blade and moved at the agent Matt threw to the sofa.

Acting quickly, you slammed the blade through his shoulder and pin him to the furniture while you woke your Bites. Aiming one at the man beside you and one over Matt’s shoulder, you fired both and the men fell limp.

As Matt spoke to the woman, you recollected your weapon and placed it back in the pack.

“Подожди.” You called as Matt was headed to the stairs. (Wait.)

“Don’t try to stop me either, Ex.” He said tightly.

“Я не собирался.” You offered but he turned away from you. You groaned and moved forward, grabbing his arm to force him to stay put. “Я просто хотел сказать, что я с тобой... Что бы ты ни решил сделать.” (I wasn’t going to. I just wanted to say that I’m with you… Whatever you decide to do.)

“Правда?” He asked carefully, a hand handing on your arm and his fingers landing between the plates. “И если я действительно убью его?” (Really? And if I actually kill him?)

You gave a small smile as your other hand landed on his chest, right over his heart. You heard the door close as the woman ran off.

“Whatever you decide.” You said honestly.

He offered a small smirk before taking his hand off your arm and moving it to your neck. Before you could voice a question, his opposite hand slid the zipper down a few inches so the fingers on your neck could move under the collar of your suit.

“Tell me one more time.” He said lowly and for just a second, it was like old times. “Just to be sure.”

With a small smile, you let your meticulous control drop. For the first time in months, you were completely vulnerable. Every emotion, every physiological reaction, every tell you could possibly have, it was all on the table for Matt to read. And he knew it.

“I’m on your side, Matty. No matter what.” You said truthfully. And you knew the night would end in a way that favored you and your friends.

He gave a small smile and let out a sigh of relief. His hand went to the back of your neck and he pulled you closer. The other arm looped around your waist and your arms came loosely around him.

You fixed your mental guards and allowed a moment to survey what Matt was feeling. There was tension in his muscles, likely anticipatory for what was to come once you entered that suite. He was determined but also worried. There was an underlying excitement, the subtle type he always seemed to get before a fight. There was also a hint of confusion.

That was what you were looking for. Something to pull to the surface that could interfere with his initial plans.

Slipping a mental hook into that feeling, you pulled away and tapped his arm to follow you. You moved up the stairs and zipped your shirt the rest of the way up. When you hit the door to the suite, you woke your Bites and gripped one of your blades tightly. Matt’s hand landed on your lower back and when you turned to him, he gave you a quick nod.

You took a steadying breath before opening the door and walking in, ensuring your head was high as Matt followed behind you. As you entered the hall, Fisk and Vanessa came from the other end.

The tension in the air grew thicker with every breath. Fisk’s eyes went wide for a minute, flicking to the gleaming blade in your hand and the ominous red glow of your favored devices. Vanessa swallowed hard and took a fearful step back to try and hide behind her new husband.

“It’s over.” Matt said lowly, the familiar gravelly voice of the Devil coming through.

“Run.” Fisk said to Vanessa, pushing her back the way they came.

“This ends.” You warned with words tinted in your accent.

Fisk snarled slightly before bracing himself. Matt shifted beside you and your stance widened while you shifted your weight to your toes. They screamed at each other before they charged, Matt slamming into Fisk with enough force for them both to crash into something in the bedroom. You hurried in the same direction and caught Vanessa trying to race down the stairs.

You wouldn’t kill her, only sparing her life to fulfill your promise to Ray, but you’d have some fun in the meantime.

You flung your knife and watched the tip bury itself in her dress and pin it to the floor. As you were coming around the ledge, Matt and Fisk crashed through the wall. You were going to intervene but Matt fought back so you turned back to Vanessa.

You gripped the railings on either side and kicked both feet into her side. The sharp rip of fabric sounded as she tumbled down the stairs with loud exclamations. You recollected your blade and hopped the railing to follow her just as Matt sent Fisk tumbling the same way.

You landed in time to see Vanessa backing away from the door, a familiar bitter taste settling in your tongue. You spit on the floor in an effort to clear it but it lingered as you saw Dex enter the room.

You groaned inwardly as your small crowd seemed to freeze at his appearance. When it seemed no one else would move, you did. You moved around the table to put yourself in front of the bride.

As you rounded the table, you placed a hand on the ledge to allow you room to spin your legs and connect both feet with Dex’s jaw. He reached angrily for you but you threw yourself backwards. From the far end of the table, you saw Matt land from the upper level and move in against Dex.

You slid off the table and dropped to a low crouch. You snuck beside Vanessa and kicked her legs from underneath her. You pinned a knee against her chest and aimed one of your devices. You angled for a well-placed shot that would hurt but not kill her, only to be thrown off by Matt’s off balance body.

You groaned in annoyance and shoved your partner off you. In your own lull of action, you heard Fisk and Dex going at it from the other end of the room. You paused for a second to watch, only to realize that your former partner had little to no defense against Fisk. The best he could do was evade and try to put distance and gain an advantage.

He was sloppy, uncaring even. He wasn’t just broken. He has completely fallen apart.

You looked between a still fallen Vanessa and the quick paced fight ahead and decided on something more exciting. When Fisk threw Dex against the stairs, you inserted yourself.

You grabbed both staffs before getting to the side of Fisk. You stepped up the railing and reached around his neck to cross both sticks. You quickly moved your feet to be on the back end of the plexiglass and extended the limbs, holding tight with your staffs to pull the man off Dex. His ragged coughs drew an old, sadistic smile from you and the manic daze you knew all too well began to cloud your mind.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Dex stand and attempt to charge at you and Fisk. With a quick move, you jumped the railing and dug an elbow into Fisk’s spine for stability. When Dex was close enough, you slammed both feet into his chest. The impact sent him stumbling through the glass behind him and you were pushed the other direction.

When you hit the ground, you released the cross of your staffs and snuck between Fisk’s legs. You hooked a stick around either ankle and pulled forward as you slid your other leg through so you would spin to face him as he fell to his back. One staff was returned to the pack as you flicked out the long blade of the other.

“Ты больше никому не обидишь” You said simply and you placed a foot on his stomach. (You’ll never hurt anyone else again.)

You gripped your weapon with both hands and lifted it high above your head, the tip of the blade on a direct path to his chest. You let out a loud scream, one born out of pent up rage and pain that seemed to add heat to the blade in your hand, while you began to drive the knife down.

As your blade was mere inches from penetrating, you were slammed into from your side. The collision sent you rolling and your staff clattered from your hands. You heard the commotion continue and you pushed yourself to your elbows to see Fisk and Matt back in a fight, Matt getting body slammed through the table.

For a second, you hoped it would knock some sense into him. But that thought was shortly entertained because you were yanked to your feet by your hair.

You were spun roughly and a hand fit your throat, backing you up until you hit the wall. You let out a manic laugh when you saw it was Dex.

“Was it worth it?” You sneered. “Killing Julie.”

“I didn’t kill her.” He nearly screamed in your face before slamming you back again.

“But you did.” You nodded fervently. “If you didn’t try to make her love you-“

His free hand collided with the brick near your head and you acted quickly.

You grabbed the wrist around your throat and braced a foot at the bend of his hip. Your thumb dug into the space between bones at his wrist and he winced as his grip faltered. You stepped up using his own leg as leverage and hooked the other leg around his shoulder. You balled one fist in the suit material of the base of his neck and pulled to reveal enough skin that you could wedge you let Bite against. You fired the device and he yelled loudly while his hands gripped the back of your knees.

He slammed your body into the hard brick wall and you coughed roughly as the impact sent a jolt through the old fracture in your ribs. He pulled back to slam you again but you pulled the foot you had against his leg to flatten against the wall and change the angle of your body.

You slid your hands to grip the suit before kicking off and throwing yourself to the floor while Dex landed beside you. You quickly knelt on top of Dex and landed heavy hits to his face, forcing head to bounce off the ground. One of his hands were flailing to find something to use as a weapon and before you could block, he found your other staff and swung it at your jaw. You fell off and got to your hands and knees before he threw your staff at the glass chandelier above where Matt and Fisk were fighting.

Matt was quick to get out of the way, which left Fisk vulnerable to Dex’s barrage of attacks. You hurried over to the wreckage and recollected your staff before you decided what to do next. Dex’s focus shifted to Matt, which allowed you to go after Fisk. You turned to find him and saw him give Vanessa his jacket, a product of Melvin’s handiwork you assumed.

She met your eyes in a panic as you jumped the couch and began your assault. You alternated your hits, switching hands and angles. You mixed in body shots and elbows and knees. Vanessa’s hand landed on your shoulder and you reacted almost instantly.

You grabbed her wrist and twisted her arm outwards. You hooked a foot behind her ankle and slammed your other arm against her chest to knock her to the floor. She coughed heavily from the impact and you reached down for your knife. You smiled as you pressed the tip against the underside of her chin.

“You had Ray killed.” You spoke lowly, a heavy venom dripping from your accented words. “I should kill you for it.”

“But you won’t?” She managed, jerking under your weight in a desperate attempt to get you off of her.

“I do enjoy revenge.” Your head tilted as you pierced the skin slightly and you watched the steady stream of blood across her skin. “But using you to torture him is much more fun.”

You heard Fisk’s heavy footsteps behind you so you moved quickly. You quickly jumped to your feet and dragged Vanessa up with you, locking an arm around her throat while other held the tip of the knife against her sternum,

“Let her go, Y/N.” Fisk said carefully, hands out in front as if to soothe a wild animal. “She’s done nothing.”

“You consider Rahul Nadeem nothing?” You spoke sharply, pressing the knife a bit harder to hear a sharp gasp from Vanessa. “What do you say, hmm? A life for a life.”

“You don’t trade lives!”

“Исход делает.” You shrugged. (Exodus does.)

The loud shatter of glass beside you stole your attention for a second, but it was all Fisk needed. He yanked your hand away from his wife’s chest and pushed her away. With a tight grip on your wrist, he bent it back to point your own knife back at you. He backed you against the wall and you had to use your other hand to keep your own weapon away. His fingers locked around your own, not allowing you to drop your blade.

With a sly smile, you allowed your powers to reach out to the boys that came crashing through the window moments ago. You found that soft spot they both had for you, one was much easier to find than the other, and you yanked it to the surface. You projected a fear, a helplessness, while refusing to break eye contact with Fisk,

“You have no power here.” You said quietly as you heard the glass shifting. “You’ll lose.”

“Not until I’ve buried you.” He spoke roughly, pushing the knife again and you felt the tip poking through your suit and into your shoulder.

“I’m not afraid to die.”

You let your other hand drop and the knife pierced your shoulder completely with a sharp cry of pain. At the same time, two glass shards came flying in and punctured his abdomen. You offered a salute to Dex as a way of thanking him before Matt began an offense against him again. You turned back to Fisk as he pulled the bloody glass out.

You made a small noise of interest as you moved in, momentarily forgetting about the knife in you. You threw a sharp kick at the open wound and he cried out. You laughed slightly and kicked again. And again.

You reached forward and pressed your knuckles against the wound and watched the blood spurt across your hand. You pulled back and grabbed the man by his face, the other grabbing his shirtfront, and slammed him to the ground.

“You’re pathetic.” You sneered. “You’re nothing without your toys.”

You saw Dex fall from the corner of your eye and when you glanced, you saw him already locked in on Vanessa. You groaned to yourself and pushed off Fisk, hurrying up the stairs to yank Vanessa out of the way. The ceramic ashtray flew by your heads and shattered against the wall. You gripped Vanessa by her throat and threw her back against the plexiglass, leaning a knee into her chest to pin her down.

You turned back to the fight in time to see Fisk slam Dex into the corner of the brick. Your pressure on Vanessa eased slightly as something dropped heavy into the pit of your stomach. You shifted the glow to your Bites to blue and slid your knee over to allow a clearer shot to her chest.

Once Matt and Fisk found each other again, you hopped down the stairs and knelt on Dex’s chest. Your other foot pressed on his shoulder as you drew your gun. You pressed the barrel under his chin and he gasped for air beneath you.

Something was wrong. You knew it immediately, before you even got close to Dex. As your weight was bearing down on him, you were tense as you waited for a response. You waited for him to try and throw you off, to pull a knife or a gun of his own. You expected him to toss you around like a rag doll, only for you to come back at him relentlessly. But he did nothing…

“Fight back.” You demanded softly, your voice seemingly gone.

“Y/- Y/N.” He choked out.

The cold seemed to radiate from his chest and stick to the fabric pressed against him. There was regret, likely stemming from whatever injury the impact caused, and sadness. He truly had nothing and he finally understood that, laying on the ground with his former partner pressing a gun to his head.

“Dammit, Poindexter. Fight. Back”. You pressed the gun harder.

“Can’t.” He managed weakly.

You stood slowly, keeping a foot on his wrist and your gun aimed while the other hand hit your mask’s side button. You glanced over his body and saw the complete shatter of his vertebrae.

“You owe whatever pathetic life you have left to Ray… I won't offer this mercy again.” You said simply.

“Stop it, please!” Vanessa shouted desperately.

You turned quickly and saw Matt had Fisk on his knees and was pounding on him. You turned the aim of your gun on Vanessa and moved to stand beside Matt. Despite looking away from the woman, your gun stayed up as you faced Matt and yanked your blade from your shoulder.

His hands were positioned to finish it, to snap Fisk’s neck. You found yourself frozen in place as you waited for what he would do next. Part of you, the part manufactured from the Red Room, wanted to see him do it. You wanted to corrupt the Devil, to bloody his hands in a way he’d never clear.

But the more important part, the part you thought you had lost a long time ago, knew you didn’t want to see him do it. Seeing him do it would make it too real and it would change the way he saw himself and the way you would see him. The things that made him Matt Murdock would break if he did it.

Yet you did nothing. Not until he screamed. A sound of pure rage and agony that was paired with a blast of searing heat. Matt fell to his knees at your feet, reaching for your hand. But before he could take it, Fisk’s words drew your action.

“I will never stop hunting Karen Page or Foggy Nelson.” He warned, though there was defeat in his words.

You moved to stand in front of him and placed the gun against his forehead. He simply glared up at you, covered in his own blood. “I will tell the world who both of you really are.”

“I don’t care about the world.” You spat back, pressing your knee against his chest to knock him into the wall. You leaned your weight down and he coughed as the bony part of your leg dug into his sternum. “It has taken enough from me… You don’t get to do that anymore.”

“Wilson.” Vanessa tried from the other end of the room.

“Vanessa, please go. Please!” He shouted around you.

You turned quickly and fired a shot at Vanessa’s feet, to which she jumped back and screamed. You pressed the now hot barrel back to its prior position as Matt got to his feet.

“You.. You want us to kill you.” Matt realized through heavy breaths. 

“No prison can keep me.” Fisk taunted and you had to grind your teeth. “You know that… Come on, kill me! Isn’t that what you always wanted, Exodus?”

Your trigger finger itched but Matt spoke before you could act.

“No!” Matt yelled in response. You made a face to yourself and knew you should pull the gun back you didn’t, not even when Matt came to your side to yell at Fisk. “God knows I want to, but you don’t get to destroy who I am.”

You almost smiled in relief, but the thump of worry lived in the back of your mind. You could feel Vanessa’s concern for Fisk, her worry that he would die in front of her. Her helplessness plagued you like a magnet to metal and for a moment, you remembered when you felt the same way.

When Luke dragged you to the elevator without Matt. When Fisk said Matt’s name in front of other agents.

“You will go back to prison and you will live the rest of your miserable life in a cage, knowing you’ll never have Vanessa. That this city rejected you, it beat you. We beat you!” Matt demanded and you were proud he found a way back to himself.

“You will keep our secrets.” You spoke simply, putting your gun away to yank the man to the ground. You flicked one of your shock discs at him and pressed a foot against his broad chest. You leaned into your foot and twisted to ensure the small circle engaged and he groaned loudly as you heard the electricity crackle while you leaned the entirety of your weight against him. Matt knelt beside you and lifted his mask before he spoke.

“And you won’t harm Karen Page or Foggy Nelson or anyone else.”

“If you try it, I will go after your wife. And I will prove that she ordered the murder of Agent Rahul Nadeem. And if she’s lucky, she’ll spend the rest of her life in a cell, same as her miserable excuse of a husband.”

You stepped off his chest and tapped Matt’s arm before taking a few steps away. Matt replaced his mask and came to your side as Vanessa inched closer, her uncertainty coming off in shaky waves.

“Thank you.” She said shakily, reaching for your hand.

“I didn’t do it for either of you.” You said sharply. “And I will not extend this mercy again, to any of you.”

She nodded quietly before moving away, leaving you to stand beside an unsteady Matt. His hands were on his head and he was radiating anger. He was mad at himself for not being able to go through with it, but he was also glad that he didn’t. He understood what the consequences would’ve been and he knew that keeping that part of himself was more important than revenge.

“You’re okay.” You said gently to your partner, a hand landing on his shoulder. “I knew you’d do the right thing.”

“What if I didn’t?” He said weakly.

“We’re still in it together, Devil.” You shrugged. “Anyone comes after you, they come after me.”

“If I agree to your demands, you leave my wife alone.” Fisk countered, now kneeling beside Vanessa.

“You misunderstood me.” You warned. “There is no agreement. You have no leverage.”

“You leave Vanessa free!”

“You didn’t care about taking a father from a ten year old boy!” You shouted angrily, the sound of the bullet firing on Ray replaying in your head. Your anger burned down your spine and across your skin until it swelled in your palms, searing through the wound on your shoulder. “You took a husband away from his wife! Why should yours be free?”

“I was protecting the man I love.” Vanessa countered with false confidence, despite the darting eyes and trembling hands. “Could you tell me you don’t do the same?” She nodded to Matt though her eyes remained on you.

“I owe you people nothing. If it were up to me, you’d both be a puddle of your own blood right now.” You spat. “But I promised Ray I would do this the right way, and I promised the Devil I’d let him decide.”

Matt stepped forward and held a hand out to Fisk.

“If you keep your word.” He said simply.

Reluctantly, Fisk shook Matt’s hand. 

“Then it’s a deal.” He spoke bitterly, moments before the heavy banging came from the door.

“We should go.” You grabbed Matt’s arm lightly.

He nodded quietly before taking your hand. You two hurried up the stairs to the upper level and paused to see Brett enter with his team. You watched as they unmasked Dex and you weren’t fully listening to the words they were saying. You were distracted by the pained look on Dex’s face, what looked like tears in his eyes.

“Я оплакываю своего друга, который умер, когда ты надел этот костюм…” You said quietly, more to yourself than anything but you knew Matt heard. “Человек, которого я вижу сейчас, ничто.” (I mourn my friend, who died when you put on that suit… The man I see now is nothing.)

Matt grabbed your hand without a word and led you out the same way you two came in, avoiding cops until you made it to the rooftop. Through your lenses, you saw Fisk being shoved into the car and Foggy and Karen out in the courtyard.

You let out a small chuckle of relief when you could finally accept that you had won.

You, with Matt and Ray’s help, beat Wilson Fisk.

Again.

[briefcasejuice]

mm i miss agent nadeem

[igotanidea]

Workaholic insomniacs : Matt Murdock x reader

request by @pinksirensong: 132 from the "Choose for me - prompt list" with Matt Murdock

132 was "I haven't slept in four days." It did not indicate which one of them :D

***

I think I might be dying. I am tired to the point where I can’t even close my eyes and get some rest, my mind is racing and I’m suffering with too much thoughts causing my head to drift dangerously to the brink of explosion.  Life and job has been too much lately. Of course I knew getting a job in Hell’s kitchen would be … well, literal hell. Sure, I was aware that being a detective who loves one’s job is not exactly a piece of cake. I suppose I just did not see this much coming on me.

At this point, as we run an investigation I work almost 24/7. I haven’t slept in four daysand it slowly starting to show. The fact that someone constantly wants something from me so I can’t finish anything does not help. It’s nearly midnight and my team is still burning the midnight oil, our effectiveness inversely proportional to the efforts. Seems like the more we try the less we get. Did I mention my head hurts?

“I need air” I mutter to the operation chef, agent Nadeem “just five minutes of it”

“Go, agent. Take a break, we all could use it” he mutters

“Was that an irony, Nadeem?”

“Sorry. I guess I became a bit grumpy because of this case”

“Yeah, didn’t we all. I’ll be right back I promise and then you can go get some distance.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so” he shook his head “you know me, not going anywhere until I’m done.”

“I know, but your wife will kill me If I let you keep tormenting yourself this way. So no sir, you are next in turn.”

“Women” she rolls eyes.

“You men would be truly lost without us” I smirk and walk out the room with cameras tracing my every step. Being the only girl on the team can be hard sometimes. They have tendencies to undermine your skills and abilities, treat you like a porcelain doll even if you would take down most of them and sometimes make some inappropriate jokes. Good thing our supervisor is a woman. That make them halt a bit. Oh, and I am extremely good agent. Otherwise, I would not be put on this case at all. Besides, there are also benefits. You get your own room while they camp together, you can eat as much food as you want without being judged and you get to understand how the brain of a man works. Or at least get a closer look. I mean, all of this agents are my friends, and even if we banter and fight sometimes we would give life for each other. Especially agent Dex, the sniper, the first one on the defense line. He actually saved my life once and that is kind of debt I could never fully repay. Lately he has been acting strange but I won’t interfere with whatever business he has going on. If he want to talk, he knows where to find me.

Because of all the security and buffers It takes almost fifteen minutes to get out of the building, each second longer than the previous one. The latest rate of suicide victims had raised significantly and therefore the access to windows on the highest floors are limited. Unfortunately, FBI are always located high. Ironically the key figures claim it’s for security. Waving my pass in front of the bouncer’s eyes I finally reach the revolving door and leave the dirty and suffocating space behind me.

The cold, autumn air of hell’s kitchen instantly make me clench the coat tighter around my shoulders and I shiver a bit. I love my city, seemingly empty at this hour, but under the surface still pulsing with life. Driving cars and sounds of carriages, few people walking the streets and occasional shutting makes it all so real. It’s good to come down on earth and sense the surroundings after hours and hours of keeping your head in the documents. Yes, the world is full of violence, unfairness and all those negativity that comes from being human. On the other side, however you can always get hope upon looking at the rising sun or listening to the wind rustling in the wind.

I wasn’t always like that. I use to march through the world like it was a war zone. Straight from point A to point B. Absolutely focused on saving time and getting all my tasks done. Surrounding? Ain’t nobody got time for that. I was an agent and we don’t really have time to devour the singing birds or other stuff like that.

It changed when I met a man, who has all his senses, except one, sharpened like a new-bought pencil. He made me stop and wonder about the sounds, the smells, the feelings. It was something utterly new, like opening eyes to the world after a long dreamless sleep. And it ended up with me in a hospital, seriously hurt during field operation because I got distracted. Yes, Matt Murdock had and still has a lot of negative impact on my life. And our relationship is complicated and damaged in hundreds different ways, but we just can’t be without each other.

“Agent”

“No.” I turn around and spot a red-dressed silhouette in a dark alley. “No!” I repeat firmly shaking my head.

“You don’t even….”

“I’m not giving you anything, Devil”

“Oh, come on, please” he pleads with this tone that in other circumstances would make me give up just because of a single word and give him anything.... Stop! Stop! You are at work, get yourself together, dirty thoughts aside. “I need some information.”

“Those are strictly confidential and you know it. I don’t need any trouble besides those I already have” I pointed at him angrily.

“Come on honey, you know I can figure it out faster than the FBI. Just give me something to work with.”

“No.” I stand my ground “Drop it, Matt”

“Shh!” with one firm move he grabs my hand and pull me into the dark alley where no one could see us, his hand on my mouth “do you want to compromise my identity, sweetie?”

“You are a threat to yourself, so I don’t think there’s much I can do to make it worse” I mutter trying to yank free of his hold and failing spectacularly.

“Honey….” He mutters nuzzling my cheek “why can’t we get over with this. You know, because of this I haven’t slept in four days.”

“Well I know the feeling.”

“Wouldn’t it be lovely to spend some time together after closing the matter?” he pulls me closer

“Careful Murdock, I got a gun”

“Well, I got batons”

“You can’t win this conversation with me”

“Well, shall we try? I’m a lawyer.”

“Oh, well, I am a woman so don’t even try!”

“Karen would….”

“Oh, low blow! Now we’re done here.”

“Why?” he slightly moves back pouting,                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

“Karen, seriously? You know how I feel about you getting a civilian involved.”

“So it’s not about us anymore?”

“Look, you dumbass of a vigilante” I sigh “You have masochistic tendencies. And it’s fine. I’m used to it as long as you are doing it on your own responsibility. But I’m not going to help you with getting yourself hurt, all right? My conscience would not take it.”

“But….”

“No buts, Matt. Drop it.”

“Is than a command, agent?” his voice becomes dark and serous under this mask of his and this leaves me no choice.

“Yes, it’s a command” I pierce him with the coldest gaze I can produce on my face and even if he can’t see it, I know he felt the ice in my whole posture.

“Well, too bad I don’t listen to those. And you know you can’t do this without me!” he turns around and jump on the nearest set of stair disappearing into the night. Damn him!

***

“did you come up with something substantial on your visit to the outside world?” Nadeem asks seeing me back, coattails running loose, hands in pockets uncharacteristically angry “What happened?”

“Nothing” I snap but his admonitory gaze put me back in my place “sorry. Just some relationship trouble”

“Oh, I can surely relate to that.”

“I know, but that’s no excuse. I’m sorry.  But, on the bright side I actually think I  may have an idea and a trail that is worth checking.”

“Do tell” Nadeem fixes his gaze on me in anticipation for any detail that can help the team and for the first time I notice the tiredness and weariness on his face alongside with a few grey hair in his dark shag.

“You know, there was this little thing in the files. A symbol” I flick through the documents “here it is, see” I point to the almost invisible pictogram of a blue spade on the building in the background of the photo. “I know where I saw it.”

***

“FBI! Everyone on the ground!” the force team kick the door down and barge into the mansion with me and Nadeem close on their feet. I guess I was right since we have four of our suspects lying on the floor with their hands handcuffed. Mission completed.

“Good job, agent” Nadeem puts a hand on my shoulder as a token of congratulations “I bet this would get attention from the high level. Maybe you would get an investigation on your own.”

“Nah. I would decline that. You and I we make a good team, agent Nadeem, don’t you think.”

“You are a pain in my ass.” He smirks and in his case use of such words means he feels we do work well together.

“I’ve heard that many times before and I’m still here”

“Let’s head back. We have some interrogation to do. This is not over yet.”

“I’m more than happy to do so. And we were so lucky to get here first” I say to no one in particular.

“What do you mean?” Nadeem frowns at me

“Oh, no, nothing. It’s just… lately TV has been claiming that FBI and police are inept and Devil of Hell’s kitchen does all the job. Guess they were wrong.” I meanly stress out the last word noticing a single streak of red sneaking behind me.

***

“Did you have fun?” when I get back to my apartment Matt is already there

“By proving you wrong? By winning the race with the daredevil?” I tap my chin in consideration “Yes!” I grin in satisfaction “So much of it! And rumor has it I’m up for promotion”

“Good thing the Devil decided to left the matter in your hands”

“It is, right? A lot of luck. Or maybe rather a lot of competence and observational skills. Not to mention intelligence and fast thinking.”

“Well thank you” he chuckles

“I’m sorry Matt, but I was talking to my reflection in the mirror. Did not see you in there.”

“Talk about a low blow” he hiss in pain.

“where?” I move towards the couch perching on the edge

“Nowhere” he tries to move away but wince again.

“Matt,….”

“I’m sorry” he sighs closing his eyes “I should have never doubted you”

“You shouldn’t have” I agree “but it’s a habit, right? You do it every time you are on your vigilant shit.”

“I’m sorry”

“No, you know what it’s fine.” He looks at my direction a bit confused “you weren’t Matt., then. You were Daredevil. And I was not your girlfriend. I was an FBI agent. Two different lives, four different person.”

“Do you have any mental problems I should now about.”

“See, that was Matt.” I smile “what I mean is that in our… other life we are supposed to be enemies. After all you steal my job and I hate that. But all this spiting and fighting and teasing while we are both in suits are good. We get better don’t you think? Trying to prove something.”

“As twisted as that is you may be a bit right.”

“Well I mean I get better, you seem awfully savaged, more than usual. Losing your proficiency?”

“Is it an agent talking or my girl?”

“Your girl” I smile and he grabs my hand kissing my knuckles gently.

“Well, like I said before I haven’t slept in four days and that’s an effect.” I stay silent waiting for him to continue and after a while the words come “can you stay with me? I need you close to me.”

“Sure I can” I snuggle next to him, forgetting about the job, the stress and the fight some agent has with some vigilante. We’ll deal with that in the morning, now it’s just boyfriend and girlfriend making themselves cozy in a shared bed.

[talkintomytv]

Watching Netflix's Treason was like watching Matt Murdock go through Agent Ray Nadeem's entire character arc from start to finish during the third season of Daredevil. I like it!

[catholicguiltypleasure]

the MOST unhinged this Matt Murdock said was “the suit is here. I can smell it” and like good on agent Ray Nadeem for continuing to take him seriously cause if some dude claiming to be a famous vigilante broke into my house, convinced me to investigate my coworker, and then said he could smell his supersuit Id laugh so hard id piss myself

[devotioncomplex]

Matt Murdock : You... you want me to kill you

Wilson Fisk : No prison can keep me, you know that... COME ON! KILL ME!

Matt Murdock : NO! god knows i want to, but you don't get to destroy who i am, you will go back to prison, and you will live the rest of your miserable life in a cage knowing you'll never have Vanessa, that this city rejected you, IT BEAT YOU! I BEAT YOU!, you'll keep my secret, and you won't harm Karen Page or Foggy Nelson, or anyone else, because if you do i WILL go after your wife, and i will prove Vanessa ordered the murder of agent Ray Nadeem, and like her husband, she will spend the rest of her life in a cell.

that whole scene had me smacked dead why the fuck are you at my doorstep .why the fuck are you at my doorstep

[n-m-and-p-avocados-at-law]

Agent Nadeem showed up in Grey's Anatomy, I'm gonna cry

[devils-dares]

CONGRATS ON 400 BBY!!!

How about #7 - only having heard bad things about the other so their relationship is off to a rocky start. it's easiest to ignore every nice trait the other shows, with Ray Nadeem?

Again, CONGRATS MY LOVE!

hi pheebs! hope you enjoy!

age gap (blink and you'll miss it)

7-enemies to lovers: only having heard bad things about the other so their relationship is off to a rocky start

-----

“You’ll be partnering with Nadeem on this one.” Your supervisory agent in charge tells you.

“What? No no, hah, this is a joke right? Do you hear what the other agents say about him? I’m not- I’m not working with Ray. He’s selfish, full of himself, and a know-it-all!”

“He has the most experience in this area which is something you need, may I remind you. He’s the perfect partner. Now either you take this case or I push you to desk duty for a few months, your call.”

You groaned and sighed, “Fine.” Your agent in charge smiled.

“Great! I suggest you meet him now, you two are starting tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? That’s-”

“Desk duty?”

“I’m going, I’m going.”

—--

“...and that’s the strategy I suggest. Any questions?” He looks at you expectantly.

“Any other rules you want to add for me?” He sighs and rubs his forehead.

“You know, you don’t have to come with me, you can drop out of this case.”

“It’s either go undercover with you or do desk duty. I’m choosing the lesser evil.”

“I don’t even know why you hate me so much, considering what I’ve heard about you. What did I do?”

“You’re just so…annoying.”

“Annoying, that’s it?”

“So full of yourself, like you always know what you’re doing.”

“Well I have years of experience on anyone else in this department, especially after F-”

“Fisk. Yeah, we all know, you were in our curriculum at Quantico.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, don’t let it get to your head.”

“If this is going to work we need to be on the same page. This is life or death. They catch us, say goodbye to shitty reality tv and top 50 pop songs.”

“Fine.”

—--

The two of you stake out the location of the gang on a rooftop facing the building. Armed with thermoses full of hot coffee and a few snacks, you two were ready to spend up to two days together.

“You can take first rest, it’s getting late. I’ll wake you up in three hours.” You look at him quizzically, it’s not the answer you were expecting after hearing how selfish he used to be in the field. You shrug and settle in, leaning up against the siding of the roof and nodding off.

Ray puts his binoculars down and rubs his forehead. His eyes strain to readjust, and that’s when his gaze lands on you. Your body was folding in on itself, breath steamy on a freezing New York night. Every now and then he notices you shudder, your jacket evidently doing little to keep you warm. He sighs, his own breath freezing in the air, as he sheds his jacket and drapes it over your body. Goosebumps immediately adorn his body as you settle back, warmth from his body buried in the jacket permeates your frozen skin.

He lets you sleep an extra hour before waking you. He places a soft hand on your arm, and another on your shoulder.

“Hey, hey. Hi, shift change.” You rub the grogginess away from your eyes and nod.

“Oh, when did I take your jacket?”

“I gave it to you, you were shivering.”

“Sorry, you can have it back.”

“I’m okay, you can keep it for the shift, and don’t apologize.” You look at him confused.

“Why are you being so nice?”

“What do you mean?”

“Giving me your jacket, letting me sleep an extra hour, why? I thought you were selfish.” He chuckles.

“You can’t believe everything you hear, y’know.”

“Same for you, I’m not that bad.” You laugh too.

Settling into a moment of comfortable silence, you feel confident enough to ask him a question.

“What was it like, working with Daredevil?” He smiles fondly.

“He uh, he kept my family safe. Back when- I made a promise to keep them safe, back when they were still with me, and he helped me keep that promise.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, it’s better for my son, I couldn’t provide a safe place for him or my ex-wife.” You nod.

“Anyways, you asked about him. He’s… off putting at first, very stoic and stubborn, but I was able to meet him outside the mask too. He’s aggressive, sure, but he does his damndest to care for those around him and this city.”

“He sounds like a hero.”

“If he could get his head out of his ass I’d imagine he’d think so too.” He smiles at the laugh that leaves you laughing. You keep your eyes on him for a few moments longer, watching joy replace the sadness that fog them, albeit a temporary joy.

“See something you like?” He jokes, but you don’t laugh.

“You really are a good guy, y’know?”

“Funny words coming from someone who didn’t want to work with me in the first place.”

“Hey! Your public perception is not stellar, not my fault I thought you were an ass.”

“Well, now that you know the truth, do you want to help me fix it?” It’s the way his voice drops an octave and he leans in closer that does you in.

“W-wha… uh, sure.”

“Are you… are you okay?” He asks, but he has a knowing smirk written across his face.

“What are you doing?” You ask as he takes a few steps towards you, making his dominating height known to you.

“You’re sweating.” He says, drinking in your appearance.

“Yeah, this jacket is hot.” You say, taking the article of clothing off.

“Nope, that’s not it. It’s almost snowing and your breath is freezing. So tell me, what are you hiding from me?”

“No wonder everyone thinks you’re an asshole.”

“You- you’re into this! You’re into me.”

“Oh god, I’m going to hurl. I am not into you in the slightest.”

“Liar.” He gets closer, leaving mere centimeters between your lips.

“If you could do anything right now, without any repercussions, what would you do?” Your answer slips out before you could even register his words.

“Kiss you.”

“I knew it!” He says, stepping away from you.

“Uh uh, absolutely not.” You say as you grab his shirt collar and bring him in, your lips meeting in a heated kiss. His hands fall to your waist as yours wrap around his shoulders, keeping him anchored against you.

“Jeez.” He says, pulling away from you.

“Don’t antagonize me again.”

“No no, just thinking about where I can take you for some privacy after this is over, but I don’t know if I can last that long.”

[amberlynnmurdock]

The Good In You (Chapter 4)

Pairing: Benjamin Poindexter x Reader

Chapter Summary: On his way to her office, Dex is interrupted by Beckett.

Genres/Warnings: fluff, angst, mild violence

Words: 2.6k

Ao3 Link

The translucent lights of the office never bothered Dex until recently—until he started to feel himself veer off the path of a person who had a routine and stayed out of trouble. Since that night at the bar, other agents have treated him only slightly differently. It was obvious who took whatever bait Beckett was feeding them and it was obvious who didn’t.

“Morning, Dex,” Nadeem greeted in the kitchen. Dex was stirring his cup of coffee with two thin straws. He looked at Nadeem and offered a smile. 

“Morning,” is all he says.

“You goin’ to the gala next weekend?” 

“I don’t think so,” Dex replied regretfully, thinking of her disappointed expression when he told her the same thing. The moment Dex hit the word “Going” on the invite, he immediately regretted it, letting his anxiety get the better of him. 

“You always miss it. You should come this year, Dex. Especially since __ is going,” Nadeem raised his eyebrows at the mention of her name. Dex ignored it, pretending not to see the implication. 

“It’s not like that,” Dex answered truthfully. She was just a coworker he spoke to more than others, a coworker who seemed to take a liking to him, a coworker he happened to look forward to seeing every day. 

“Just think about it,” Nadeem pats his hand on Dex’s shoulder. Dex nods, smile fading, as he watches the milk he poured turn his coffee a few shades lighter. 

The thought of having anything romantic with her was enough to send Dex to run immediately for the fences, the woods, to be by his lonesome. He didn’t have time for something like that; he didn’t think he had the strength to uphold such a responsibility—a responsibility he couldn’t bear the thought of failing to uphold. It wasn’t her he was afraid of, but the idea she had of him that he knew he could never live up to. It was easier for him to admire someone from afar—always in the shadows, looking up at a tall statue. He felt closer this way, the farther he was. There was less of a chance of him screwing it up. There was less of a chance of getting hurt and abandoned. 

Nadeem left the kitchen. Dex stared at his hot cup of coffee and half thought about making her a cup and bringing it to her office. How did she take it again? A dash of milk? There was still some coffee left in the pot, just enough for one more cup. Dex took a cup out of the drawer and poured the rest of the coffee into it. He grabbed the milk from the fridge and poured just enough that counts as a “dash.” He mixed it with two fresh straws and made his way to her office. 

Dex slowly approached her office to make sure she wasn’t busy with a patient. Luckily, her door was open, and Dex could see her from outside her windows: she was sitting at her desk, scrolling through her phone. He smiled a little before stepping into the doorway to reveal his presence. 

Dex cleared his throat.

“Oh, morning, Dex,” she said, slightly startled. She locked her phone and sat up straight in her chair. “You won’t tell anyone you caught me slacking, will you?”

Dex shook his head with a light laugh. “Never. I made you a cup of coffee—you like it with just a dash of milk, right?”

  “Yes,” her face lightened up when she saw Dex holding the second cup in his hand. The warmth from her expression radiated to his skin when she met him halfway and felt her take the cup from his hand. “Thanks for thinking of me. How are you? I haven’t had you in my office in a while. I guess that’s a good thing.”

Dex smiled and looked down. Truthfully, he’d been avoiding her, even though he didn’t want to. Plus, he hasn’t been sent on any challenging jobs lately that could get him hurt. 

“I guess I better start making more time for you then,” Dex said with a smile. “I’m doing fine. Things seem pretty calm right now. But that always means something crazy will happen soon.”

“Hopefully not,” she says. “I like the calm. I like how it is now.”

“How are you? Had to fix or heal anything crazy lately?” He tried for light conversation. Internally, Dex felt himself cringe. 

“No, thank God,” she laughed. “Just some small wounds. I’m good, though. Better now that I have coffee.”

“Good,” Dex replied. “I don’t want to hold you up if you’ve got work to do. I’ll come by later to say hello.”

“I’ll be waiting,” she smiled at him. Dex held her eye contact for a bit longer before he smiled himself. He left her office, closing the door gently. 

Dex was good at picking up on smaller details—seeing things other people may have missed. But when he walked out of her office, he missed the jealous eyes that were watching him carefully from across the room.

◎◎◎

A few hours had passed in the day, and she was still in her office, focused on the paperwork in front of her. From where Dex was sitting, he could see her at her desk. His eyes glazed over her and back to his screen, where he really should’ve been paying attention. 

Except, he hasn’t been able to focus on anything all day. Their conversation from this morning was stuck in his head like a song. Better now that I have coffee. I’ll be waiting. 

Debate was stuck in his mind too about the gala. He imagined himself wearing a tuxedo. What color dress would she wear? Dex imagined picking her up and protectively holding her in his arms the entire night. He knew what some of the other agents thought about the women in the office—if he made it clear that she was his, he’d dare them to say anything disrespectful about her. Would she want to dance?

Nadeem had encouraged him to go the gala, and the problem with encouraging Dex to do something out of his comfort zone was he’d sit on the thought for hours, days, however long it took for him to convince himself it was a bad idea. But this time, Dex really hoped for a different outcome. 

“You have to let someone in,” Dr. Mercer once said to him. “Develop a natural connection.”

Could she be that person?

All he had to do was go to the gala. And before Dex knew it, he was on his way to telling her himself. 

Until a large block of a person turns a corner and stands right in front of Dex, stopping him in his tracks. Beckett.

Dex takes a deep breath and straightens his back. 

“You’re in my way,” Dex says as casually as he can.

“In your way for what? So you can distract __ from work? Or you can fake an injury on your leg and she’ll take off—“

“What the hell is your problem?” Dex cuts him off, unaware of the other members in the office now looking at him and Beckett. Beckett takes a step forward as Dex takes a step back.

“You piss me off, Poindexter,” Beckett spits. He’s turned into such a giant bully with no hand-eye coordination. Threatened by Dex for whatever reason. 

“Step away,” Dex says in a controlled breath. It won’t look good if Dex is reactive to how aggressive Beckett is being right now. One of them is going to be suspended and it’s not going to be Dex. He has to play his cards right—and provoke Beckett. 

“Or what?” Beckett taunts, taking another step while Dex backs away slowly. “Why don’t you use some of that lethal force everyone complains about you and use it on me?”

“Stop it,” Dex remains in control with every labored breath he takes. “Step away, Beckett.”

“I saw you in her office this morning,” his voice is getting louder. “You’re not fooling anyone, pretending to be a nice guy.”

“Maybe this has nothing to do with her,” Dex stated, “and it all has to do with you not being able to stand the reality that maybe she just doesn’t care about you. At all. And you should stop bothering her.”

And like a bright flash of light, Dex’s right cheek is hit with Beckett’s fist, sending him to the floor. His side is met with the tip of his boot and Dex clutches himself in pain. 

Perfect.

“What the hell?! Someone grab him!” Hattley appears from behind as a few agents take Beckett by the shoulders and throw him on the ground. “Agent, what the hell is wrong with you?!”

“Me?” Beckett roars. “What the hell is wrong with him—“

“The conference room” Hattley looks at the agents who are holding Beckett back. “And lock it behind you until I get there.”

Dex sits himself up on his elbows, breathless from the impact and quickness of it all. Nadeem kneels by his side and helps him.

“My goodness,” Nadeem says under his breath, helping Dex stand up. “Well if anything’s going to happen now, I can assure you Beckett won’t be a problem anymore and your name is cleared in the office.” 

◎◎◎

Well, her day certainly went from boring to occupied quickly. 

She didn’t hear much of the commotion from her desk, but she quickly noticed everyone’s attention from outside her office focusing on something that was happening a few feet from her door. When she heard Beckett’s voice from outside getting louder, she knew it had to be Dex he was talking to. And before she could leave her office to see, it was too late—Dex was already wounded on the floor. 

And now here he was, sitting in her office, like a rained-soaked puppy. He held an ice pack to his cheek and clutched his side. She was rattling through her drawers to find the proper tools. Stethoscope, light, healing gel and bandages.

She turned around and walked to Dex again, avoiding eye contact. For some reason, she felt embarrassed. Shy. Or maybe she was trying her best to hide how much she actually cared about this man who sat wounded on her exam table. 

“I’m sorry, Dex,” she said quietly as she took his hand that held the ice pack away from his face. He wasn’t sure what exactly it was she was sorry about. 

“Don’t be,” Dex said. “I’ve had worse.”

She held the light to his already large forming bruise. Luckily, no skin was split open, meaning no stitches were needed. She squeezed a little of the gel on her fingertips and began to dab at the bruise. Dex shut his eyes—the bruise stung when touched. He tried to hide how painful it actually was. 

“Well, I heard Beckett was officially suspended until further notice. You can’t attack another agent like that. It’s against policy, like one of the worst rules you can break.”

“That’s good,” Dex offered.

“And whatever he’s been saying about you, hopefully, this clears things up that it was him all along who was the problem. I never believed it was you, for the record. You're a good person,” she said. 

He averted his eyes when she said the word good. “I didn’t care about all that,” Dex replied. “I was on my way to your office. I knew he was just trying to get to me through—“

“What even was it he attacked you for?” She cuts him off accidentally. “I can’t understand why.”

Dex sighed. You, he wanted to say. 

“The same reason he was on Hattley’s radar after the bar that one night.”

“What, for saying things about the women here again? But what does that—“

Oh, she realized. 

Perhaps it wasn’t just about all the women in the office—maybe in particular for Dex’s case, it was her he was saying crude things about. She didn’t even want to know what specifically was said, but she had a good idea in her mind. 

“Yeah,” Dex nodded, noticing her realization. “When he said something about you at the bar… I didn’t like it. I grazed a dart by his head. He didn’t like that. That’s why we were all pulled in that one day. Add you turning him down for the gala, and… as he described it… me distracting you from work… guess it really pissed him off.”

“Huh,” she said, taking in his words, which may have been the most Dex had ever spoken to her. “Interesting.” 

“I’m sorry it had to do with you,” Dex said. “This whole thing.” 

“It’s okay,” she answered. “At least he’s gone for now. And your name is cleared.”

“Right.”

She held his dark eyes for a moment and then realized he was still clutching his side in pain. 

“Oh,” she said, “let me look at your ribs real quick. Do you mind if I…”

“No,” Dex shook his head, avoiding eye contact, a light blush on his face. “Do what you need to.”

She slowly, and slightly shakily, lifted his shirt just up to his chest. She tried her best to hide the blush on her face, and more so tried to avoid looking at his defined abs, to focus on his ribs. There was a bruise formed on his left side. She has to touch it to make sure nothing’s broken. 

“I have to touch you,” she says quietly. 

“Do what you need to,” he repeats in a low voice, avoiding her eyes. 

She gently traces his skin where the bruise formed lightly. Goosebumps form on his skin. 

“Does it hurt to breathe at all?”

“No,” he shakes his head. 

She puts more pressure on the bruise to feel his ribs, and Dex holds his breath. 

“Breathe, Dex,” she reminds him. He lets it out softly and finally looks at her. She’s unsure of what to make of his expression. It’s intense. And this suddenly feels more than just her making sure he’s not badly hurt. But he doesn’t mind it. Neither does she. The look he gives her makes her heart feel like it’s in his hands. 

She looks away, feeling his ribs more.

“Nothing’s broken,” she pulls his shirt down and avoids his eyes who follow her as she walks across the room. It suddenly felt hot. When she returned to his side, the intense look was still on his face. He averted his eyes from her gaze, jaw clenched. 

“I would take it easy. No crazy missions for two weeks. Keep icing your bruises and try to sleep on your back,” she said quickly. Dex nodded. He slowly slid off the exam table and stood in front of her. She looked up at him and then looked at her windows. The blinds were always shut when there was someone in her room. 

“Thank you for defending me,” she says after a moment of silence, locking eyes with him. Dex’s features softened. 

“No need to thank me,” he tells her. 

Dex looks in the direction of her windows too. Mirroring her movements. But what was it they needed to hide? 

Something compels Dex to move the strands of hair that fell over her eyes. He tucks them behind her ear and holds her face in his hands. She places her hand on top of his and holds him there for a moment. 

Nothing happens. Dex takes a long look at her features.

“Thank you,” he says quietly. He pulls his hand back and goes to the door. But before he can leave, she asks him a question. 

“What were you on your way to my office for, anyway?”

Dex pauses, hand on the doorknob. The gala. But something stops him from telling her the truth. 

“I wanted to say hello like I said I would earlier.” 

Turning the knob, he leaves her in her exam room alone, full of that same feeling of regret. 

Whatever it was they felt for each other, it was certainly undeniable for both of them now. 

[daredussy]

i miss agent nadeem 😔

[sagestreetrealty]

🎉 Huge congratulations to our outstanding agent Nadeem for closing another successful deal in Lavon! 🏡🔑 At Sage Street Realty, we're all about making dreams come true, one home at a time. Here's to new beginnings and happy clients! 🌟 #LavonTX #ClosingDay #SageStreetRealty #DreamHome