#agent poindexter x reader

[amberlynnmurdock]

Aim For My Heart (Part 1)

Pairing: Benjamin Poindexter x Reader

Summary: One random morning, she buys him a coffee when the barista gets his order wrong–and ever since, Dex has been entranced.

Genres: light angst in the beginning, fluff, making out

A/N: This first part is all fluff! So I hope you guys like it! This is my first time writing Dex so I hope I got his character right :)

TAGS: @danzer8705 @pcrushinnerd (let me know if you want to be tagged or if I missed you)

credit to the owner of this gif!!!

Drip drip. 

Benjamin Poindexter’s brown eyes shoot open at the annoying sound of his sink’s leaky faucet. 

Drip drip.

He attempts to ignore the sound. He shuts his eyes and readjusts himself in bed. He takes a deep breath. 

Drip drip. 

He’s had enough. He can’t stand it. 

Kicking the sheets off himself, Dex huffs out of bed and stomps to the kitchen to fix the faucet. He rips a paper towel off a roll seamlessly and wipes the nozzle. He waits a moment to see if it works. Hand on his waist, he stares at the nozzle of the faucet, almost daring it to drip again. After 45 seconds, he decides it worked. 

He goes back into his room and crawls into bed. In an instant, he falls back asleep.

***

Another dreadful day. 

He can’t remember when his days started to feel like chores he had to get done. Was it when he was put in an orphanage? Was it when his dreams of becoming a professional pitcher were taken away? Was it when his therapist, Dr. Mercer, the only person who ever understood him, passed away? 

When was it? 

It seemed he was accurate with everything else in his life except when it came to pinpointing an exact moment when it started to fall apart. And it’s been falling apart slowly every day. 

Still—he needs to have coffee to somewhat function. He throws the empty coffee bag out in the trash and turns his hands into fists as he rests them on his clean marble countertop. Why do things like this get under his skin? Something as simple as running out of ground coffee? He looks up and is met with his reflection in the microwave. Sometimes, he can barely recognize himself. 

After a few moments, he decides he’ll have to stop at the corner coffee shop, which he hates to do. He hates being around people. He hates pretending to be normal. He hates that he has to put on an act. He hates the fake smile he gives when he orders his coffee; he hates waiting in line. The anticipation of waiting kills him inside. He hates seeing the barista accidentally spill a little of his coffee on the counter. It takes everything in him to not throw the cup away out of spite. It takes everything in him to not react violently over something so small. 

“You will build your life on pillars of order,” Dr. Mercer had once told him. Pillars of order. Pillars of order. Pillars of order.

He’s trying to be better every day. He tries to follow his code, but it’s so hard without someone to guide him, like a North Star. Even though he doesn’t have that anymore, he still tries to be better. He still tries to act normal. Often though, he wonders if he’ll ever be able to live his life on his own without a guiding light. 

No, he thinks to himself. Because people get hurt. Every time. Including him. Most of all, including him. 

As he takes a sip of his hazelnut coffee, he immediately frowns at the taste. It’s not hazelnut at all—it’s mocha. He hates mocha. And he hates the fact even more that he has to go back inside that dreadful place and order a new coffee—one they will probably charge him again for. 

And of course, the line of people. He takes a deep breath to calm his nerves. Was it the people he didn’t like, or the thought of interacting with them? 

After five whole minutes of waiting in line—Nadeem would be on his ass for being late—Dex finally approaches the same barista at the counter who took his order before. As calmly as he can, he forces a smile.

“Hi. I ordered a hazelnut coffee, but I got a mocha instead. Could I please get a new cup?” Dex asks as he tries to ask the question like he hasn’t rehearsed it in his head a thousand times. He slides the cup across the counter. 

The barista, a young man with red hair and freckles, nods and looks at the screen in front of him. He frowns. Dex’s heart plummets in his stomach. 

“I’m so sorry. We just sold our last hazelnut of the day. We can do—“

“He can have mine,” a third voice interjects. The person it comes from is feminine—light, and friendly. Qualities Dex isn’t used to being around. Qualities Dex pretends to have. When he follows the sound of the voice, he meets a young woman standing a few feet beside him. 

She's younger than him, but not by much. She has the most beautiful smile and kindest eyes he’s ever seen. The smoothest, most perfect face. Yes, she’s perfect, he thinks. Perfect to him. He’s speechless as she holds out her cup of hazelnut coffee for him to take. 

“I didn’t drink from it yet if that makes you feel better,” she said sheepishly as she caught him staring at her. 

“Then what will you have?” Dex asks her. 

“I told myself I’d do one kind act today and not expect anything in return. I’m okay. You can have my coffee,” she smiles again, and Dex’s chest feels as warm as the cup in his hand as she hands it to him. Their fingers brush for the smallest of seconds and it’s entrancing to Dex. He smiles at her—not forced at all. She’s already on her way out as she wishes him a good day. He watches as her shrinking figure exits the coffee shop. He doesn’t want this to be the last time he ever sees her. She's the first person to show him an ounce of kindness in a long time. Her hair swayed back and forth as she walked out the door and it flew behind her as the wind came in. She's the most beautiful person he’s seen in a long time. 

And she was so nice to him. That feeling was addictive. 

“Sir?” The young barista called. “I need to take the next guest’s order.”

Dex ignores him, ignores all the people in the coffee shop he pushes past. His gaze is stuck on her path. He follows where she left, her coffee in his hand. He exits the coffee shop. How could she already be gone from his reach?

  He sees her down the block as she makes a right turn. 

Dex isn’t far behind. 

***

The next time he sees her, he owes her a coffee. 

He made sure to get to the coffee shop earlier than normal the next day. He ordered two medium hazelnut coffees from the same barista who had taken his order the previous day. Dex feels lighter in his step—a rare surge of confidence in his entire body. He even decided to wear his FBI bomber jacket. He normally liked to hide what his profession was but thought that maybe it would impress her… and hopefully not scare her. He brushed his dirty blonde hair neatly and even sprayed on cologne. 

He waited at a table near the front and kept an eye on the clock. He had enough time to bring her coffee and make it to work before nine. He watched the door like a hawk, watching carefully as each person entered the shop.

And then finally, she came in. 

She wore a long trench coat and tall boots. Her hair was freshly windblown and she looked slightly flustered, like she was in a rush. Good thing she wouldn’t have to wait in the already growing line to order coffee. 

Dex sees as she audibly sighs at the sight of the line. 

“I owe you a coffee,” Dex calls out confidently as he rises from his seat. She looks over at him, frazzled at first, until recognition settles in her features and she seems to—dare he think—calm down. He’s made her calm down. 

“You don’t,” she says carefully, eyes glancing at the FBI logo on his jacket, “but something tells me if I don’t accept this coffee, you’ll put me on the Most Wanted list.”

Dex laughs—a real laugh—and hands her the cup of coffee. Their fingers brush again. He’s entranced by her touch, again. 

“I could never,” Dex says. “I didn’t get to say thank you for yesterday. So thank you. You have no idea how messed up my day could’ve been without my morning cup.”

“Trust me, I do,” she smiled. “And you’re welcome. And thank you—for my cup today,” she blushed as she fumbled over her words. Dex felt that familiar warm feeling spread through his chest the longer he looked at her. 

“I’m Ben Poindexter… or Dex,” he introduces himself, holding out his hand. She accepts it with ease and shakes his hand. She introduces herself and smiles. Dex repeats her name in his mind to memorization. 

“On your way to work?” He asks. 

“Yeah,” she answers, “late, honestly. But now that I got my coffee early, I can spare a few minutes. Where’s the uh—FBI office?”

“Just a few blocks down. Mind if I walk with you?”

“Not at all,” she smiles. 

Dex holds the door for her and lets her walk out first. He scans the area outside—normally he doesn’t check for threats (like he should) but now he has a reason to make sure the surrounding area is safe. 

They both begin to walk down the block. He matches her steps. 

“What do you do?” Dex asks. 

“I work at a therapist’s office. Client relations—not as daunting as being an FBI agent—is that what you are?”

“Special Agent,” Dex gently corrects. Dex perks when she mentions she works at a therapist’s office. “It’s not as fancy as it sounds, though.”

“I’m sure you’ve seen some shit,” she replies, shivering a little.“I can’t imagine.”

“Yeah, it can get tough,” he sighs, “but you get used to it after a while. Do you like working at the therapist’s office ?”

“I do. You learn a lot about people. I’m not a doctor, but I help where I can.”

“You must have a lot of patience,” Dex muses. He enjoys the cool breeze hitting his face. She looks like she's fighting against it. If the cold weather were a physical being, he’d choke the living life out of it for making her uncomfortable.

“I try to,” she smiles again, crossing her arms across her chest to keep warm. Dex feels a strong urge to wrap his arm around her, but he doesn’t. 

Dex already knows where her work building is—he followed her yesterday up until a certain point. He’s passed his office already. He doesn’t care. As long as he knows she makes it to work safely—he doesn’t care. 

The rest of the walk, they make small talk. Dex doesn’t mind it at all. In fact, the entire time walking, he’s thinking of ways to ask her out on a date. Do I run into her at the coffee shop again? Do I ask her right now? 

Finally, she stops in front of her building. She takes a sip of her hazelnut coffee that Dex bought for her and smiles at him. Dex catches her smile and looks away, almost shy.

“Thank you again for returning the favor, even though you didn’t have to,” she held up her cup in a cheersed way. Dex shrugs, and shakes his head. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he says softly. “Was it a good cup?”

“Yes,” she nods. “Hit the spot.”

If it wasn’t good, Dex thinks he might’ve taken it out of her hands and thrown it against the building. Nothing should ever disappoint her, or not live up to her standards. He’s relieved she enjoyed it. 

“Could I—ask you out for dinner, sometime?” Dex stutters slightly, as he feels his heart pound against his chest. From the way she smiles at his question, it puts him at ease. 

“You could… but are you going to?” She teases, squinting her eyes a little at the handsome blonde FBI agent before her. Dex laughs and looks down sheepishly, before meeting her eyes again. 

“Would you like to have dinner with me this Friday night?” Dex officially asks her, smoothing any nervousness in his voice. Confidence.  

“Yes,” she nods. “I would love to.” Dex can’t help the blush that creeps on his cheeks. She’s holding her coffee as she searches through her bag for her phone. She almost drops the cup before Dex—with lightning reflexes—catches it before gravity can win. 

“Oh my goodness,” she gasps. “I would’ve been so sad if I dropped it! Thank you—again," she breathes. Dex smiles and holds the cup for her as she looks for her phone. 

“It’s no problem,” he says. 

She asks for his phone number and sends him a text so he’ll have her number saved. Dex is impressed by the way she takes the initiative to his contact information. She must really be interested—though definitely not as interested as he is. He feels his phone buzz in his jacket, confirming he received her text. 

“Well, have a good day, Dex,” she says in a sing-song way, a way Dex will never forget. “I’ll see you on Friday.”

***

She wasn’t one to go to someone’s house after a first date, but Dex might be testing that theory for her. 

She’s watching him carefully over the leather-bound menu. Stealing glances and looks every so often as she pretends to look over the list of red wines. Squinting her eyes, studying his face. He’s completely focused on the menu—he almost looks confused as he reads it. It’s a confusing menu because the place Dex chose has four Michelin Stars. She doesn’t mind though. It buys her time to keep looking at him. 

His skin looks soft…but it’s the way his jaw cuts that brings a sort of harshness to his look. No less handsome, however. She’s not sure if it’s because she knows he’s an FBI agent, but his presence is commanding, whether he realizes it or not. Commanding and sweet at the same time. Even the way his hands look strong and have surely held a gun against someone (because isn’t that what FBI agents do?) are now holding the menu so softly… it’s mesmerizing to see such hands that are capable of doing rugged things hold a leather-bound menu so gently. It only makes her wonder what else he could handle with gentleness—or roughness. Whatever she wants. 

“What are you thinking of getting?” Dex asks her, his silky voice bringing her out of her train of thought. She inhales sharply and quickly scans the menu again. 

“I think a glass of cabernet,” she replies, “and the burrata to start?”

“I was thinking the same,” he grins, warm brown eyes looking into hers. She glances away quickly—the way she feels when he looks at her is unsettling by how much she likes it. “You look really beautiful, by the way.”

And of course… he had to make it worse. There was no use in fighting the blush on her cheeks. She smiled. 

“Thank you.”

The waiter took their orders, and Dex watched her carefully as she spoke. She was pleasant. She smiles at the waiter—but not the same kind of smile she gives to him. Dex leans back in the velvet chair and sighs in content. He never thought he would get this far with her. 

When it was finally the two of them, Dex cleared his throat. 

“So, you do client relations at a therapist’s office? What does that exactly mean?”

“I greet them, I bring them into the room before the doctor gets there. I ask them questions and fill out their intake form. I’m basically a glorified receptionist except sometimes I get to ‘play’ therapist,” she explains rather sheepishly. Dex thinks anyone would be lucky enough to be greeted by her. If he were a patient, he’d ask to never see the doctor. 

“Do you want to become one?” He asks with curiosity. 

“I think one day,” she answers. “I like talking to people. Never mind doing it to help—sometimes just a person to talk to is all someone needs.”

Ain’t that the truth, Dex thinks to himself. “I agree. I used to see a therapist myself.”

“Really? There’s no shame in it at all.”

“I know… well. We’ll save that conversation for another time.”

“Have you always been in the FBI? I’m not even sure I know what the requirements or credentials are,” she asks. 

Dex laughs, “It’s a lot of background checks and training before you start. And no, I haven’t always been in the FBI. I was in the army before.”

She raises her eyebrows. “Oh, wow. Thank you for your service. Now I definitely think you’ve seen some shit. And I can see why you’d go to therapy. Why did you stop? You said you used to see one.”

Dex sighs uncomfortably. She picks up on it immediately. 

“Never mind. You said another time. Have you always wanted to be in the FBI?”

Dex smiles a little, appreciative of the way she stopped the conversation about his therapist. 

“I used to want to be a professional baseball pitcher,” he admits. 

“I love that. Do you still play?” 

“Not really,” he says softly. “Other interests came to mind. Life.”

“I know what you mean. Life.”

A comfortable silence falls between them—they catch each other gazing into the other’s eyes and laughing at the same time. Dex can’t remember the last time he felt so enamored with someone, so comfortable and so attracted. He’s grateful for running out of coffee that morning. He’s grateful the barista got his order wrong. Most of all, he’s grateful for the young woman who sits across from him at this restaurant. And he’s grateful for the way she’s smiling at him. 

***

It didn’t take much convincing for her to agree to go to his place after dinner. While she promised herself she wouldn’t let it get too far, she was curious to see where the night would go. Dex held her hand the entire walk back to his apartment. She cuddled against his arm, an attempt to feel more warm. Dex pulled her in closer. 

He lived in a humble building just outside of Hell’s Kitchen. His apartment was even more humble: small, but very nice. White walls. White marble countertop without a spec on it. Everything was in its place from the spices to the napkins. Everything was labeled. His couch was placed perfectly in the middle of the room. Picture frames were all aligned on the walls. He dimmed the lights a little. 

From where she stood, she could see his bedroom door slightly ajar. She caught a glimpse of his bed with white sheets—his bed was perfectly made. From how organized and clean he seemed to be, she thought he would freak out to see her mismatched decorations and colorful bedsheets. 

“This is such a nice place,” she said aloud.

“Thank you. I don’t ever have guests, so I’m sorry if it’s a little boring.”

“Not at all,” she moved to sit in the corner of his gray couch. She placed her bag on the floor, and Dex picked it up to move on the coffee table. 

“It’s better to keep it clean off the floor,” Dex murmured as he sat down next to her with two glasses of red wine. He gave her a soft smile as he handed her a glass, which she gladly accepted. They clinked glasses and took a sip, all while holding each other’s gaze. 

“Can I tell you something?” Dex asks suddenly. 

“Of course.”

“I haven’t done this in a while,” Dex gestures to the two of them. “It takes a lot in me to do this. I—I really wanted to ask you out. And I’m happy you’re here. I just—“ he feels himself breathing fast. It’s an awful habit he has, getting overwhelmed by every little thought in his head. Bring a beautiful girl into the mix—it was a terrible concoction for his mind to handle. His mind won’t allow him to enjoy this pleasure because it’s already thinking of ways it could go wrong. Like she’ll never want to see him again.

“Hey,” she whispered, placing a hand on his knee to calm him down. “It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” he breathes out in embarrassment, covering half his face with his hand. 

“Don’t need to be sorry,” she said softly. 

“I just don’t want this to be the last I see of you,” he admits. “I had such a good time at dinner and here you are now—“

“Dex,” she began, “I had an amazing time at dinner with you. Truthfully, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have agreed to come to your place. I’m happy I’m here. If it’s all the same to you, I definitely don’t want this to be the last I see you.”

“Absolutely,” Dex agrees immediately, turning to face her more. “I’m so happy you’re here too. I’m happy you gave me your coffee that morning and it’s led to this.”

She smiles. “Me too.”

Her hand is still on his knee. Dex is reminded of it when he feels that area of his leg getting warmer from her touch. He glances down at her hand on him and memorizes the image. He doesn’t want to imagine too much, imagine her hand slowly trailing up his thigh… 

To stop his thoughts, he places his hand on top of hers and trails his fingers up the length of her arm, until he reaches her neck and brushes his fingers through her hair. He brings her closer to him, some force guiding him with confidence. Her eyes are half closed as he slowly brings her in for a kiss. A kiss. 

He first brushes his lips against hers, almost as a way to ask if this was okay—if the way he was guiding her to him was okay. She doesn’t protest. Dex kisses her softly at first, memorizing the way her lips feel on his. And then he kisses her with a newfound force. She opens her mouth for him to enter his tongue and Dex breathes her in. He places his arms around her waist and lifts her up and into his lap so she’s straddling him on his couch. She has her hands on either side of his face as she kisses him just as passionately, holding him in place. He runs his hands up and down her back, pulling and pushing her to and fro himself. 

He pulls back, breathless, and looks up at her. 

“You’re perfect,” he whispers, running his hands in disbelief through her hair. “Everything about you is perfect.”

She kisses him again and again. Dex’s heart is pounding like it never has in his chest, so much it hurts, so much he thinks his life depends on kissing her. After a while, he pulls back again. 

“Let me take you home,” Dex whispers in her ear. “I don’t want to get too far, and we’re treading that line.”

She can’t help but laugh, even though she agrees. “Okay. Walk me home.”

Dex holds her hand the entire walk home. When she says they’ve arrived at her apartment building, she kisses Dex one last time and makes him promise he’ll text her as soon as he gets home.

“You don’t need to worry about me,” Dex smirks, enamored by the look in her eyes. 

“I do,” she argues, “I do now.” 

“Goodnight,” Dex whispers. 

He watches as she walks into her building and enters the elevator. Dex moves across the street and waits to see which apartment light turns on. When he sees one turn on, he immediately falls into a dark alley and pulls out a mini telescope. 

He found her. And he watches her. Through a small slip of her curtain. He watches as she moves around her kitchen and living room. She changes into a silk robe in her bedroom. 

He stays there for another two hours until she’s turned off the lights and headed to bed. 

“Goodnight,” Dex whispers to her from afar. 

[petertingle-yipyip]

MAD AT GOD - MATT MURDOCK

Series Finale - Vigilante Shit

tags: @ironprincessstranger @americaarse @johnmurphys-sass @dusstory @astrobees @mayasaurus--rex @woowwwee // eight // epilogue // masterlist

Pairing: Matt X Reader

Word Count: 13,587 (and you wonder why it took me so long.)

Summary: Ladies always rise above but when one lady’s simply had enough, revenge takes human form in Hell’s Kitchen’s Exodus. With her rightful partner beside her, they take on the Kingpin and his former Bullseye.

“Do you affirm that the testimony you are about to give in the case now before the court will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” The bailiff asked simply as you took your seat on the stand. “This you affirm under the pains and penalties of perjury?”

“Yes.” You nodded calmly. “I do.”

“For the record, please state your name.” The judge said.

“I’m Special Agent Y/N Y/L/N, FBI SWAT. I’ve been with the bureau for a bit less than a year and all statements made here today are my own. My testimony does not reflect the beliefs or positions of the FBI and I accept any and all consequences my statements may bring.” You answered, keeping your eyes ahead as Tower stood and took his place in front of you. “In the short amount of time that I’ve been with the FBI, I’ve witnessed my bureau, specifically members of my team, fall victim to Fisk’s vicious manipulation.”

“Please explain in detail the crimes you’ve witnessed.” He said simply.

“I’ve witnessed slander and false accusations against one of the Nelson and Murdock attorneys responsible for his first arrest. I’ve witnessed a breach of his house arrest. I’ve witnessed his recruitment of agents and using those agents to kill people, both civilians and other agents. I’ve witnessed him coerce other crime syndicates into complying with a tax to ensure protection from federal prosecution.”

“What agents have you seen?”

“Special Agents Arinori and Poindexter, Special Agent in Charge Hattley. Special Agent Rahul Nadeem and myself witnessed but never participated past that and a few targeted raids. Neither of us pulled the trigger for Wilson Fisk, but we did nothing to stop it. There were others but I didn’t interact with them much.”

“The other agents that were mentioned by Agent Nadeem?”

“I believe so. I don’t remember their names but I could pick them out of a lineup.”

“And how many people were killed?”

“SAC Hattley killed Agent Winn. Special Agent Poindexter killed multiple people, I believe he killed the most. Given his unique skill set, he was a prime target for Fisk’s games. Innocent people died because of Wilson Fisk, good people like Father Lantom, because no one on my team was brave enough to come forward.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Who would believe a novice agent who helped put Fisk away in the first place? He knew no one would believe me if I spoke up sooner, given my very outspoken opinions against him. There was an instance, when he brought up the Nelson and Murdock attorney, that I had caused a scene. My words were driven by my sentimentality regarding the firm since I did have a small stint as an attorney there. From there, it didn’t matter what I knew and he recognized that. It didn’t matter how many times Poindexter brought me along without telling me what was really happening. It didn’t matter who I saw get killed or the fact that I was against him leaving the prison to begin with. He knew my credibility was low and I had no evidence so I wasn’t a threat to his plans… Not until someone else had enough. Agent Nadeem helped give me the courage to come forward with what I’ve seen.”

You glanced around at the jury and found them all - save for the one juror - interested in what you would say next. Tower offered a small, proud smile and Ray listened intently with his hands folded in front of him. He gave you a small nod of reassurance.

“It’s a scary thing, to feel like you have no choice but to do things you don’t agree with. Sometimes you go along for self preservation, sometimes for the people you care about. But at the end of it all, we have our limits. We can only take so much deceit before we have to do something…” You allowed your eyes to water, a shakiness to tint your voice and a slight hesitation between your sentences. “I let him convince me that my word wouldn’t matter, that I- I would just be some voice in the wind. I let him take my conviction. But I’m not going to stand down, not anymore. Wilson Fisk is afraid of what we came here to say because it’s true. The attack on our transport wasn’t a coincidence, nor was it an accident. He attempted to have us killed because of what we know and what we came here to say. If he was truly innocent, why is he trying to cover his tracks?”

“You mentioned repercussions before. Do you worry the FBI will punish you for this?”

“Not the FBI, but the agents Fisk controls. My SAC is in his pocket. My partner is in his pocket. Besides Agent Nadeem, in that hotel, I’m alone. No one protects me the way they protect him… If I lose my job, fine. If I lose my partner, okay. But I cannot stand to lose my loved ones.”

“Thank you, Agent.”

You and Ray were led out after that and you met with your friends in the hall. While Matt chatted with Ray, Foggy offered you a proud smile and moved to hug you but you simply pushed his hands away and began pacing a short distance. You pushed your fingers into your hair and tugged slightly on the ends.

Foggy looked over to Matt for help, but he was still in his conversation with Ray. Knowing that a win today would help ensure Matt stayed on the right track, Foggy decided not to cut in and talk to you on his own. He stepped in front of you and put his hands on your upper arms. You looked at him with your lips pressed together and your eyebrows up.

“Talk to me. What’s going on?” Your friend tried, ducking down to meet your eyes.

“It’s shot. The whole thing is shot.” You answered quietly, trying not to gain any more attention. “He didn’t just know about the trial.”

“What do you mean?”

“So what happens now?” Ray asked, drawing both Foggy’s and your attention. His brows furrowed but you stepped past him before he could speak.

You grabbed Matt’s arm and pulled him a couple steps away as Foggy answered Ray’s question.

You leaned in to speak quietly with your hand still gripping his arm and Matt’s hand landed on your elbow.

“What do you hear?” You asked softly.

His brows furrowed as he listened in, taking a step closer to the doors. As he focused, the grip he had on your arm tightened. You closed your eyes and cursed quietly.

“No, no, no.” Matt muttered and you nodded. “The jurors.”

“Fisk got to them.” You confirmed and opened your eyes, rolling your shoulders back and regaining your composure. “I felt it when we went in but I was hoping I was wrong.”

You glanced around the halls and felt a surge of emotions outside. Everyone still seemed entranced in Karen’s press conference. You had to give it to her, the woman was brave.

After a few anxiety ridden minutes, Tower came out of the courtroom with an apologetic expression as he passed your group. You opened your mouth to speak but he simply shook his head and headed to the cameras outside. You tapped your implant and listened in on the live broadcast from outside and you felt your stomach drop.

At this time, the grand jury had elected not to indict Wilson Fisk. But this office, under my leadership, will pursue every lead, every piece of evidence that leads us to uncovering the truth. The agents that testified today were incredibly brave and we encourage anyone with evidence regarding this case to come forward.

Everything outside continued to spike as you shut off your device and one familiar feeling stood out among the chaos.

“Karen.” You said to yourself as the boys began moving. You looked at them for a second before making a move to the doors. A hand closed around your arm and dragged you in the other direction.

“No, I have to-“ You groaned and tried to pull away but you were shoved forward instead. Looking over, you saw it was Matt who dragged you with him.

You took one last look over your shoulder before giving in and following the group. They hurried into the closest restroom and you locked the door behind you all. Ray pushed through and took a minute to himself while being quite literally sick to his stomach.

“It’s not gonna end like this, Ray. We’re not gonna let it.” Matt promised while leaning against the stalls.

Foggy stood by the sinks and you slid down with your back against the door until you were sitting up on your toes. You had elbows on your propped up knees and your chin resting behind your gently balled fists. Your eyes were trained on the floor, tracing the grout lines between the tiles.

Your brain was running through every scenario you could. You thought about whether or not he’d send Dex after you and Ray. It’d have to wait. There’s no way Dex could take you both out in a locked down courthouse. Would he go after Karen for her press conference? Or had he already wrecked her credibility? All you knew for sure was that it needed to end.

“The system will work.” Foggy ensured and you sighed to yourself. 

“You still believe that?” Matt scoffed and you looked up at him.

“Stop it.” You said quietly and he offered a sarcastic expression towards you.

“We’ve been here before. We can fix this.. Tower will impanel another grand jury and try again. We’re not done here. Right, Y/N?”

“What keeps Fisk away from them this time though?” You asked simply as you turned towards your friend. “I wanna do this the right way, Foggy, but it’s not looking too good for us.”

“I told you this would happen.” Matt cut in.

“Matt, stop.” You sighed and pushed yourself to stand. “Fighting each other isn’t gonna help.”

“I need to know where you’re going.” Foggy blocked Matt’s path.

“Guys.” You warned firmly as Matt said “I’m gonna find Tower. Make sure he tries again.”

“I’m going with you.” You offered and you saw him roll his eyes behind his glasses. “Unless there’s a problem?”

“No.” He said tightly. “No problem.”

“Good.” You nodded before leaning closer to Foggy. “Take care of him. Don’t let him lose his nerve.”

Your friend nodded and you grabbed Matt’s arm on the way out.

“God, y’know what, we should’ve just done it our way from the start.” Matt mumbled. 

“Our way?” You laughed. “This is our way. The other thing? That’s my way, Matthew. You’ll never be able to do it and it’s not a bad thing. You can’t force yourself to.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I almost wanna dare you to try because I know you won’t.”

“A lot has changed, Y/N.”

“Sure, but people don’t completely flip on their morals.” You scoffed.

“Maybe I did. You don’t know.”

“Actually I do, because you’re too strong to do it. You have a certain faith in people that you can’t learn. If you were capable of doing what I do, Dex wouldn’t be around anymore. You believe that people can do good. It’s not the worst ideology to hold on to.”

“Clearly not everyone can.”

You stopped walking and yanked his arm to stop him. He groaned and faced you, a tight grip on his cane and a clench to his jaw.

“This isn’t just about you!” You insisted. “You do understand that, right?”

“Of course I know that. You really think I don’t?”

“Why is it your responsibility then?”

“Because it is!”

“So why didn’t you work this hard to stop me?” You challenged quietly. “If not everyone can be better, why didn’t you try to kill me? I gave you every reason to give up on me, treat me this exact same way, but you never did.”

“You’re not the same, Y/N.” He sighed.

“Thankfully, neither are you and I. There’s always been someone taking people from me. Took my parents, Marc, Frank, Yelena and Nat, Billy, even you - twice - and Foggy, now Dex. I’m not gonna lose you a third time.”

“Y/N, I didn’t realize-“

“No, you never do. You never see beyond what you’re doing. You do this and there’s no coming back from it. Something in your heart is gonna change and you can’t change it back. You can’t undo it.”

“I’m sorry. I just want this to be over with.”

“I know but…” You sighed and looked around, shifting your weight between your feet.

You were hit with a sudden feeling of determination. You turned towards where it came from, the bathroom you left Foggy and Ray in. With a quiet curse, you hurried back, only to find Ray gone and Foggy knocked out.

You screamed out in frustration and slammed an angry fist into the mirror, watching it shatter and become stained with the bloody print of your knuckles. You pushed out of the room and back into the hall, scanning the crowds in an effort to find him. But you saw nothing.

Ray was gone. And the clock was ticking on what kind of countermove Fisk would make against him. Against all of you.

You practically ran out of the courthouse, pushing past various security and reporters. They shouted questions, mentioning your badge and asking what side you were testifying for, but ignored them all. Some yelled that you were working for Fisk, you were one of the corrupted agents, but all you offered them was the middle finger.

From there, you ran home. The sun was already setting and you were running out of time. You changed quickly and used your mask to scan as far as it could.

You had finally heard from Rick and you were talking to Seema while wandering the streets.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Seema asked towards the end of the conversation.

“I wish I could tell you for sure… But I can’t. What we’ve done has put a massive target on us and our loved ones. All I know is that yours and Sami’s safety is all he cares about.”

“Tell him I love him.”

“I will. When I find him, he’ll call for goodbyes and then you can send a pin to that number I gave you. After that, ditch the phone.”

It wasn’t until hours later did you find him.

He went home.

You practically sprinted through the neighborhood to get there. The front door was open, side gate cracked, and the police tape was stretched from someone pushing it aside. The house was empty but you could see two figures in the backyard.

“…I can help you cut a deal with the DA.” Ray tried. “We can take him down, us and Y/N.”

Dex gripped his gun tightly, though he hadn’t lifted it yet. His entire body was tense, practically vibrating with the anticipation of what he would do next. There was still a heavy apathy from Dex but there was an undercut of hesitation. Ray was still his friend, and that meant something to him. Not enough to change his mind, but something. Something you might be able to use against him.

“No.. That’s not gonna happen, Ray.” Dex shook his head with a small scoff.

“Dex.” You said carefully, pushing your mask up and lifting your hands in surrender. You walked slowly, putting yourself between the two former friends. “Think about this.”

“Move.” He answered tightly.

“I can help you, if you let me… Don’t make me your enemy, please.”

You tried to emphasize that hesitation but he would shove it back down as soon as it came up.

“I feel more myself than I have in my whole life. Fisk gave me that.”

“This isn’t you talking. This?” You gestured slightly between the two of you. “This is Fisk. He’s gotten in your head, Dex, and he’s turned us against each other. Don’t let him win! ”

“You don’t know me!” He shouted and you instinctively woke your Bite. “See?” He chuckled humorously. “You don’t really trust me.”

“What happened to the man that helped save my life?” You pressed gently with a pleading expression, taking a tentative step forward as you lowered your hands. Your devices still glowed at your wrists and Dex’s grip on his gun shifted. “At the carousel, remember? You rode with me in the ambulance, stayed at the hospital until I woke up. Where’s he?”

“That wasn’t me. It was you. It was your games.” He spat and your brows dropped and your jaw clenched.

“She cared about you, Dex.” Ray said from your side with a hand on your shoulder. “We both did. The only person that changed that was you.”

“Let me help you.” You tried that soft spot again. “I can’t do anything for you after this. I won’t.”

“I don’t care.” He shook his head and you nodded slightly, slowly moving a hand to reach one of the weapons at your belt. “I don’t need your help.”

“As long as I’m alive, my family’s at risk.” Ray admitted, though there was no hesitation.

Sadness, definitely, but it wasn’t any sudden revelation. Instead, it was acceptance. Understanding.

“Ray?” You asked over your shoulder.

“It’ll be alright.”

“Let’s go, Ray.” Dex said, lifting his gun. You sidestepped to put yourself in front of Ray again as you drew your own weapon. “Move, Y/N.”

There was a slight plea in his expression, though his body language didn’t falter.

Something human was left in Dex, some tiny flicker of light. Something like that used to be enough for Matt to believe in, to give them a chance to change. Without him honoring his own prior morals, you realized that was part of why you didn’t give up on Dex.

Not the sex or the friendship. But the hope, hope that months of running around with the altar boy vigilante attached to your hip pinned to your own conscience. The ability to see something good in someone so far off their path. You never understood that ideology until recently but now… Now it felt like that was your own code.

But clearly, the flicker wasn’t enough. And you couldn’t work by someone else’s morality.

“Thought you were good enough to shoot around me.” You taunted as you lined up your own gun.

“I’m not going anywhere with you, Dex.” Ray said and you felt that wave of acceptance again. “Whatever you need to do, you do it here.”

Ray had accepted his own death. And the only way you could stop it would be to kill Dex. You turned to face Ray, purposefully putting your body in front of his with the hopes that Dex wouldn’t shoot through.

“We can still get out of this.” You tried, feeling a deep regret settle in your stomach. “I can-“

“And do what, run? I can’t put my family through anything else, Y/N.”

“Ray, please. I can’t bring your family back to you if you’re in a body bag.”

“Hey.” He put a hand on your shoulder. “Just do this the right way, alright?”

“Seema wanted me to te-“

Before you could get the sentence out, the gun fired behind you. The bullet nicked your ear but hit its mark.

You backed away with unsteady legs while Ray fell to the ground with a bullet hole in his forehead. Your gun fell from your hands as you collapsed to your knees. Almost instantly your eyes watered as you stared at the now corpse of your friend. It was almost enough to make you scream as you sat beside the man that risked everything to stand up to Fisk, to stand up for what he believed in. To protect his family.

His family.

Your heart broke for Seema and Sami, and you thought about who would give them the news. The news that you had failed. You didn’t keep him safe.

“She loves you.” You said quietly as your entire body ran cold. “Seema wanted me to tell you she loves you.”

Your hand shook as you reached for your scar and pressed it, sliding along until you heard the dial tone.

“911, what is your emergency?”

“This is.. This is Exodus.” You spoke shakily with your accent, fighting to keep control as the tears fell down your cheeks. “I’m at.. Fisk had him killed. He’s- He’s dead. I need.. I need an ambulance or police or something. Just send someone!”

“Exodus? Okay um…” The line went quiet as the operator spoke to someone else on the side, probably asking advice with a vigilante on the line. “Where are you? Who’s dead?”

“Special-“ Your voice broke. “Special Agent Rahul Nadeem. He shot him in his own backyard.”

“Did you see who killed him?”

“No.. No, he was gone before I got here. I just heard the shot.”

“Okay. We have units en route. Can you stay with Mr.Nadeem until they arrive?”

“No, I- I have to go. They’ll arrest me. I- I have to- I have to go. I can’t be here when they arrive.”

“Wait.”

“He has a wife and a son. Just tell um, tell Detective Brett Mahoney to contact Nadeem’s legal team. Someone has to tell them.”

“Ma’am, please, just wait until-“

“I can’t… I can’t, I’m sorry.”

You ended the call and looked down at Ray.

“I’m sorry, Ray. I’m so sorry.”

You sat back for a moment to pull your knees to your chest. You wrapped your arms around them and rocked slightly as you let yourself cry. You tried to keep the noise down, but small wails left your throat. When you heard the sirens down the street, you had to pull yourself together and collect your gun. With one last look, you hopped the fence and made your way back to the apartment.

You tried to push the guilt away but it came back to gnaw at you. You should’ve just killed Dex. You shouldn’t have tried to reason with him. You should’ve taken him down when you got there. Why did you reveal yourself? Why didn’t you kill him? Why didn’t you do anything?

You had your own ways for a reason. Using Matt’s wouldn’t bring back the man you knew. And it wouldn’t save anyone.

Now Ray was dead and it was your fault.

All you could do was keep moving forward. But there was nothing more Y/N could do. The chance with the law and by the books was over. You wanted to stay on the path, to do things Foggy’s way - the right way - but you were at your wits end. Every time you tried to do things right, you lost. You wouldn’t lose again.

You wouldn’t dress yourself as Exodus to serve a villain. You wouldn’t dress as Exodus to serve the innocent. You would dress for revenge. You would dress to renew the sense of fear that your vigilante persona - just her name - used to invoke. To make Ben Poindexter pay for the lives he took. To make Wilson Fisk pay for the crimes he’d committed. And if they paid with their lives, so be it.

You wouldn’t be nice any longer. Both men had pushed you too far.

Killing people was easy. Making them suffer was an art, and you had spent years developing your craft. You would make them regret the moment you were made their enemy.

You ignored the phone calls from Foggy. His voicemails all said he needed to talk to you and he didn’t want to say it on a message, so you knew Brett told them what happened. Other numbers you didn’t recognize called but you ignored them too. Reporters, you figured.

On your way home, you were distracted by the distinct taste of fear. With a small noise of interest, you followed it. You weren’t necessarily shocked to see Matt was there at the source, but it was a surprise to see him with Felix Manning.

“Should’ve called.” You told him as you got to his side.

“Didn’t have time.” He shrugged with that smirk he always used to have back when you found him when you two didn’t know each other’s identities. When things were a lot simpler. “You hear what happened?“

“To Nadeem? How we fucked it up, again.”

“Yeah.” He answered in a whisper.

You nodded quietly and he frowned slightly. He reached for your arm but you crossed them over your chest and peered over the edge, looking at the knot that held Manning’s ankle. You gave the rope a small shake and the man screamed with a new wave of panic.

“What have you gotten so far?” You turned to Matt, though the mask did little to hide his expression. “Stop looking at me like that.”

He opened his mouth for a joke but you smacked his arm before he could get a word out. He laughed quietly and put his hands up in surrender.

“Fisk’s gathering a bunch of figureheads for a wedding.” Matt explained.

“Vanessa’s gonna marry him?” Your brows furrowed and Matt gave a nonchalant shrug. You leaned over the edge and yelled to Manning. “Do we get an invite?”

All he could do was scream.

“Sounds like a no.” Matt answered and you almost smiled, though Manning’s screams were rather distracting.

You groaned loudly before reaching forward. You made a small pulling motion and felt the fear draw out of him. The yellow smoke came to your hand and swirled up your arm and you felt the tingle down your spine as you absorbed it.

“I can give you something better.” Manning called from the end of the rope.

You hummed in interest and climbed to sit on the ledge, feet kicking idly as Matt sat beside you with his ankles crossed. If it hadn’t been for the man dangling just a few feet down, it would’ve been a nice moment together.

“We’re listening.” Matt said simply.

“I witnessed Ms. Marianna order the murder of Agent Nadeem. And Fisk ordered many!” He shouted and you felt a new wave of anger run down your spine. You ground your teeth and balled your hands into fists. Matt’s hand came up to your jaw and pressed gently on the joint to make you release the tension. You made a small noise and took his hand off your face, holding it between your own and dropping into your lap. “Agent Winn. Julie Barnes. I could testify!”

“Где был этот парень раньше?” You muttered and Matt nudged you with his shoulder. “Мог бы позволить ему умереть вместо Рэя.” (Where was this guy earlier? Could’ve let him die instead of Ray.)

“Будь милым.” Matt said with light amusement in his voice. He knew what happened to Ray upset you and he figured you would blame yourself. But at least your words were what he was used to. “Мы могли бы его использовать.” (Be nice. We could use him.)

“Hang on..” You realized and peered over the edge. “We know Winn and Nadeem. Did you say Julie Barnes?”

“Yes! Yes, he did!”

You let out a laugh in celebration and the sound seemed misplaced in the current situation. That was exactly what you had been waiting for. Confirmation. Confirmation of the one thing that could snap Dex, in every sense of the word. Confirmation that Julie Barnes, the woman that he had been obsessing over since before you met him, was dead and that Fisk was to blame.

“Help me get him up.” You told Matt quickly as you climbed back to the roof.

“Why?” Matt asked, though he followed suit.

“Ты хотел подтолкнуть Декса на грань? Вот как мы это делаем.” You answered quickly and he nodded quietly. (You wanted to push Dex to the brink? This is how we do it.)

You got Manning to tell you everything you needed to know about Julie. How she was killed. Where she was killed. Where her body currently was. Everything you needed to throw in Dex’s face and break whatever was left.

A day or two later, you were standing at a press conference at the bureau. It was an official statement regarding Ray and Agent Winn’s deaths. Hattley claimed Ray was mentally unstable, that Karen was a liar and the alleged 911 call from Exodus was fake. You almost laughed when Hattley had to redirect questions about Exodus finding the body, but she admitted it was an agent who killed him, under the guise of self-defense.

You tried to duck out of the office following the press conference but a hand wrapped around your arm tightly. You let out a small wince when you were yanked back before you were redirected and pushed towards one of the conference rooms. You were able to yank your arm free just outside the door, where you saw Seema sitting inside.

“What the hell is this?” You asked sharply as you spun on Dex. “You wanna rub salt in her wounds?”

“She came to us, said she wants to see Ray’s lawyers.” He explained simply.

“So what?”

“So call them.”

“Why? So you can put a bullet in them too?”

“If you don’t, I’ll put a bullet in you.”

“You should’ve done it last time. Too late now.”

“Really wanna do this here?” His brows raised. You glanced around, noting the mostly empty hall. The only other agents were ones you remembered seeing at that meeting. You were outnumbered and while you could likely handle the ordeal, a shoot out in the office wasn’t something you wanted to instigate with everything else you had going on. “You’re so paranoid, Y/N/N. I’ll call him myself. Not like anyone’s gonna hurt him.” Dex smirked and began to back away.

“Dex.” You called out and he paused, allowing you to move closer. “Are you happy now? Ray’s dead. Seema and Sami are alone. Fisk is getting married. Daredevil’s image is shot… Is that what you wanted?”

He chuckled weakly and nodded. “I thought all this empathy crap was done.”

You gave a weak shrug. It wasn’t even an attempt to change his mind. It was just you being an asshole. “One last shot, I guess… Maybe you were right after all. You don’t love me, not anymore at least. You’re incapable of loving anyone, of feeling anything.”

“Careful, Y/N. You’re getting predictable.” He tapped a finger under your chin and left.

You huffed a sigh and shot a quick text to Foggy, asking him to come to the bureau. You headed back to the main office and began busying yourself with some paperwork until your friend arrived.

A sharp whistle drew your attention and you looked up to see Dex waving you over. You got to his side as Foggy lifted his phone to take a picture, one you were just in time to smile for.

“Posted to my campaign webpage, and the tens of thousands of police officers that know that I’m here. With you. Helping.” Foggy said firmly and you tried to hide the proud smile.

“Relax, Mr. Nelson. You’re not in any danger.” Dex said lowly, a hand landing on your lower back that you almost jumped away from. “Agent Y/L/N even came to help put you at ease.”

You jammed an elbow into his ribs and he laughed slightly.

“Besides, you’ll be very useful when you’re the next district attorney.”

“Why am I here?” Foggy looked to you.

“Because you and Ray were friends.” Dex answered instead and you rolled your eyes.

“If you’re expecting him to answer questions, it’ll break privilege, even if the client’s dead.” You explained.

“I’m not asking him to.” It was Dex’s turn to roll his eyes. “Follow me.”

Dex led you and Foggy back to the room where you saw Seema waiting. You wanted to offer her a sincere apology, to comfort her and admit that it was your fault Ray was dead, but Hattley’s presence made you keep those thoughts to yourself.

“We’ll give you the room. Take all the time you need.” Hattley said after a brief exchange between Dex and Seema.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” You managed and she looked at you with slight tears in her eyes. “Ray was a good man.”

Dex’s hand fit tightly to your elbow and he dragged you away. You all left Foggy with Seema and stepped back into the hall.

“Suck it up.” Dex sneered.

“I’m only doing this because I have to.” Hattley snapped back before the two split ways. You let out a sigh and headed back to your desk.

You decided you were going to leave again at lunch, figuring your time at that job was limited anyway so why be a good agent anymore. You had just dropped into your chair, a small cloud of blue proofing out as you did, when Dex grabbed your arm and hauled you away again. You sucked in a breath between gritted teeth and you knew there’d be a bruise there by the end of the day. When you two got to a secluded area, he pushed you against the wall and put his call on speaker. He held a hand against your mouth and your brows furrowed, though you showed no other reaction. You decided against fighting back, knowing it would be more trouble than it was worth.

Plus, you were intrigued.

“I’ve got some free time now. Why don’t we meet up?” Dex said, keeping eye contact with you while pressing that forearm against your chest near your throat as a threat.

“I have a question.” Matt’s voice came from the other side and your eyes went a bit wider. Dex offered a slight smirk as he caught your expression. “Did you enjoy the feeling you got when you killed those birdies? Is that why you’re still killing?”

“Birdies?”

“The ones you killed with rocks. I bet it felt good at first, right?”

“Stop.” You tried, your voice muffled from behind Dex’s hand and he pushed your head to bang against the wall.

“Then it’s never the same after that.”

You put one hand on his chest and the other on his wrist and tried to push Dex off. He growled slightly and pressed harder, causing you to release a small noise when the pressure hit your chest and then a sharp sensation erupted from your still healing stab wound.

“Who was that?” Matt asked suddenly.

“Your little girlfriend.” Dex taunted and you struggled against him, but he leaned into you with more of his body weight. “She’s a pretty little thing, isn’t she? ‘Specially when she’s helpless.”

“What do you think Dr. Mercer would say if she could see you now?” Matt continued and you sighed. You wondered if he was purposefully not showing a reaction or if it just didn’t bother him.

You leaned back into the wall and Dex noticed your shift away from him. Dex’s eyes darted between yours but you knew yours were empty. There was no feeling behind your eyes when you looked at Dex, and he recognized that. He recognized that you no longer saw him the same.

Slowly he leaned away but held a finger to his lips to gesture for you to keep quiet. Maybe it actually hurt him for you to give up on him.

Good.

“Got a second?” He spoke finally. “I need a tissue for all the tears I’m crying over my shitty childhood.”

“Have you heard from your friend Julie lately?”

“Что ты делаешь?” You whispered as your brows furrowed, trying to figure out Matt’s plan. You two had talked about bringing it up to Dex together so you could guarantee neither of you were at risk. Why do it now? (What are you doing?)

“You wanna talk to Dr. Mercer, asshole? Keep talking. Or I could send your girlfriend instead.”

“What do you think she’d say if she knew about the innocent people you killed?” Matt continued. “I bet she’d be disappointed, Dex.”

“If she was still alive.” You mumbled.

Dex’s attention snapped to you and a hand was quick to come around your throat to force you back against the wall. The air left your lungs while his hand gripped you tighter and you cursed Matt for starting problems.

“If you hurt Julie-“ He threatened lowly and lifted so your feet could barely reach the ground.

“I never touched her.” You choked out. “She was innocent.”

“Did he?”

“Fisk had her killed. He knew what she meant to you so he killed her, gave himself a chance to replace her as your North Star.” You answered quickly.

He was quiet for a moment while he took in your expression. When he believed you weren’t lying, he eased off.

“When he realized he couldn’t kill me, he went after her… She was an easy mark. I'm sorry. There was nothing I could do.” You added while rubbing your tender throat and he gave a slow nod.

“Don’t tell me that’s sympathy in your voice, Ex.” Matt said.

“Shut up.” You snapped quickly.

“Don’t feel bad for a guy who’s tried to kill us both, multiple times.”

“Shut. Up. It’s not about him.”

“You should stick to beating on people in alleys, cause you’re not gonna get in my head.” Dex said tightly, though you could feel something underlying in his words. It almost felt like.. grief.

Maybe there was something more than a flicker left in Dex. But that wouldn’t change anything. It couldn’t.

“You don’t have to believe us.. Then again, you may wanna ask how I got Manning’s phone.”

“Don’t know, don’t care.” Dex answered sharply.

“Julie wouldn’t approve of your killing people, Dex.”

“Stop. Saying. Her name.” Dex practically growled. The familiar heart of his rage hit you. The soft spot he had for you may have faded away, but he’d always feel a certain way for Julie.

“You said you got some free time? You may wanna check out 16 Canal Place.”

“Why?”

The line cut out after that. Dex slowly turned to face you and your sidestepped carefully to ensure your back was no longer against the wall.

“What’s at Canal Place?” He asked tightly.

“Julie…” You answered quietly. Beneath the surface you were adding to the pressure of his anger, trying to break him. “I’m sorry, Dex. I know she was important to you.”

“What the hell is your deal?” He asked angrily and you took another step back. “What- What- What do you gain from all of this?”

“I had no part in this.” You countered firmly, forgetting about your game for a moment. “All of this-“ You gestured between you two. “-was done without me knowing.”

“Bullshit.” He scoffed.

“I wouldn’t taunt you with this. You know me better than that.”

“Do I?”

“Don’t believe me then.” You shrugged. “I don’t care anymore. I tried being nice, didn’t work. I tried being a bitch, kind of working. I tried empathy, didn’t work.” You pushed past him.

“Where are you going?” He called after you.

“Away from you.”

That night, you took a trip to Canal Place dressed in your latest, modified vigilante costume - compression shirt and vest. You still hadn’t patched your full suit and top. You arrived a few minutes ahead of Dex, but he wasn’t your point. You made your way to the roof and found Matt already there. You made sure to keep your distance, knowing you’d punch him in the teeth if you got too close.

“Wanna tell me what the hell that was on the phone?” You asked simply.

“I knew he wasn’t gonna hurt you.” Matt reasoned as he pulled the black mask off.

“That’s not the point. We were gonna do it together.”

“I needed to make sure.”

“Of what?”

“That you hadn’t gone soft.”

“So you play with my life?”

“C’mon, Y/N/N.” He scoffed. “He wasn’t gonna kill you.”

“The bruise around my neck says otherwise.” You countered angrily.

His body language shifted and you saw the flex of his hand. He ran a stressed hand over his mouth before he spoke again.

“You said it yourself. He loves you.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“That’s not what-“

“Well I was wrong.” You cut in quickly.

“You’re never wrong about this stuff.”

“You think that excuses any of that?” You laughed and moved closer. “You think that excuses you pushing him when I’m the one that would’ve had to deal with the fallout?”

“You could’ve protected yourself if he tried anything.”

“So that’s it? You put me in the line of fire and taunt the most unstable man I’ve ever met, just because you can? Just because I can fight back.”

“Were you honestly afraid?” He asked carefully, head cocking in interest.

You thought about the interaction and didn’t remember feeling afraid. In fact, you felt completely in control without touching your abilities in that regard.

“He felt something.” You said instead. “When you talked about Julie… Grief.”

“So what?”

“So that means there might still be something worth saving in him. That used to be what you stood for, Matt. That chance used to be enough.”

“Oh come on.” He scoffed. “What happened to the woman that was ready to kill him?”

“And what happened to the man that didn’t wanna kill anyone? What happened to the altar boy that believed everyone could change, that just a small piece of goodness was enough for another chance? Where’s the man from that rooftop with Frank, who had a gun to his head, but still insisted on preaching about giving people a chance to change?”

“What do you want me to do, huh?” He asked loudly. “You want me to- to take the guy to therapy? Hold his hand and promise it’ll be okay? The guy’s psycho! And he’s dangerous.”

Your remark was cut off by a loud scream. A sound of pure agony that you almost swore was accompanied by the sharp sound of a snap and a shaky wave of heat. It was an uneven, broken feeling that had bits of cold air weaved in between. It was as if the anger was cracking and the sadness was patching the gaps.

You turned to face Matt again but he was already holding a ringing phone in front of him. You took a few steps closer.

“When I find you…” Dex threatened lowly.

“Like we said, Fisk killed her and we all know it.” Matt countered smoothly.

“Think about it, Dex.” You added on. “Who got Julie the job in the hotel, right after the detail starts? Who started following you? It’s all been Fisk.”

“You let him turn you into a murderer!” Matt kept going. You knew you should stop him, that he was pushing too hard. You started to feel a bit of regret for what you had to do to Dex, but you also knew you needed him to turn against Fisk.

Besides, you didn’t owe him anything anymore.

“He wasn’t gonna let someone like Julie get in the way of that.” You offered, gentler than the venom Matt spoke with.��

“Why are you telling me this?” Dex asked lamely, as if everything he had - everything that mattered - was gone. And for him, maybe it was.

“Aw, Dex..” You said quietly, more to yourself than either of the boys. Matt scoffed lightly and stepped away, adding a comment about Fisk and the wedding before ending the call.

“You can’t tell me that you really care about him still.” Matt said angrily. “After everything he’s done to us.”

“I’m allowed to feel bad for ruining a man’s entire mental state just to take down a different man.” You answered sarcastically. “Regardless if I care about him or not.”

“You didn’t ruin that guy. There was hardly anything to ruin.”

“There used to be..”

“Who’s side are you on, Y/N? Because you can’t have everything.”

“No, but I can remember the guy he was before. Matt, he helped save my life, kept me from bleeding out on the way to the hospital.”

“That makes up for everything. Why didn’t you mention it sooner?” He offered sarcastically.

“Why are you so bitter?” You shouted. “You have everyone back and it’s still not enough.”

He simply shook his head.

“Why are you so hell bent on destroying him?”

“He killed Father Lantom!” Matt screamed, new anger rolling off him. “But that doesn’t matter, right? Because he lost someone too.”

“That’s not what I’m saying! I cared about Lantom, too.”

“Not like I did.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that, but-“

“But nothing. Just because you slept with him doesn’t make him worth anything.”

“Say that again.” You said lowly, your head tilting with a slight challenge. Your muscles tightened and your hands flexed as you crossed your arms to wake the devices around your wrists. “I dare you.”

He sighed heavily and lifted his hands in surrender.

“Y’know, you’re making it so hard to want to help you. And at this point, I don’t know if you’re doing it on purpose or if you are just that pathetic now.”

“I’m pathetic… Okay.” He mumbled with a scoff before turning away from you.

“I may be a bitch and I may be a killer, but at least I don’t willingly treat people that love me like shit. At least I feel bad when I’ve hurt someone I used to care about… But I guess you just don’t care anymore, right? You left your conscience under Midland, right?”

“You know that’s not true.” He sighed, almost visibly deflating. “I’m doing this because I-“

“Don’t give me that shit.” You cut in firmly, taking quick strides to stand in front of him. “I’m so goddamn tired of that excuse from you, Matt.” Your finger jammed into his chest. “You’re not protecting anyone by being an asshole.. All you’re doing is becoming exactly what you want to protect this city from. You’re becoming what Exodus used to be. Now I look like the soft one. The weak one.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to! Jesus Christ, how many times do we have to have this same conversation before it gets through your head?” You tapped his temple quickly before pushing his head away.

“I understand that we’re different now. I never said we could go back to what we were. You’re the one who said you can’t have both.”

“I never said that.”

“In the van with Ray. You said that you had to give up certain people and you looked right at me.”

“For the love of..” You muttered before a disbelieving laugh. “I wasn’t saying that I wanted to give you up. I meant that you gave us up. You won’t let yourself have it both ways.”

“Right, because you’re not one to self-sabotage to try torture yourself? You- You don’t ruin anything good in your life to try and make up for all the bad shit you’ve done?”

You stood in silence for a moment, mouth opening to defend yourself but your voice keeping quiet. You wanted to talk back, to tell him that he was an idiot. You wanted to scold him for not truly understanding why you had done everything you had, why you had sabotaged so many relationships in the past. But that was what he wanted. He wanted to keep egging you on that way, maybe you’d be pissed off enough to be like the old you. The one who was so angry with the way the world was that you were going to kill anyone you thought would fix it. And as tempting as it was, as justified as you felt your anger would be, someone needed to keep a level head.

But also, it wasn’t for his sake. It was Ray’s voice lingering in the back of your mind, serving as the safety on your otherwise unrelenting trigger finger.

Just do this the right way, alright?

“Whatever. Think what you want about me.” You shrugged and your devices disarmed. He must’ve heard the current shut off because his brows raised with interest. “I’m gonna go patch my suit and head to the Presidential. If I see you, you better have your goddamn head on straight.”

“Держись подальше от меня сегодня вечером.” He said simply, causing a small scoff from your chest. (Stay out my way tonight.)

“Забавно. Я собирался сказать тебе то же самое.” (Funny. I was going to tell you the same thing.)

You headed home after that, ignoring whatever snarky comment he made when you turned your back. You got home quickly and pulled your suit from the closet. It was the first time you had seen it since the attack on the church. The blood was still soaked into the fabric, the gaping hole in the center. It brought you back to that night and the scar on your stomach burned.

You pushed through it and gave it a thorough wash before repairing the damage, not perfectly but enough to get through the night. You fit it in place and zipped the familiar top over it. As you were sliding your gloves on, you found the small insignias you had carved into the forearm plates. A small skull and two overlapping D’s.

Matt and Frank, Punisher and Daredevil. The two men that were able to sneak through your guards and understand who you were. The two men who knew what you stood for and stood beside you.

The two most important people left in your life.

You fit the rest of your equipment on; boots, Bites, belt, staff pack, and mask. You thought a lot on your way to the hotel. You thought about your relationships with Dex and Matt.

There was no way to repair the damage between you and Dex. You wouldn’t be friends or anything romantic when the night ended. The latter you could deal with, but losing the former was a bit of a bummer. Dex was damaged and your influence probably made it worse. You had a hand in breaking whatever structure and balance Dex had. You used him as a pawn in your game with Fisk and he was ultimately the one to suffer.

You and Matt had been back and forth since he came back. One night he’s begging you to stay and the next he tries to make you the bad guy for being human - for being exactly what he wanted you to be when you had first met. Despite that, despite his uncharacteristic bloodlust as of late, you couldn’t turn your back on him.

You still loved him, after all.

You moved through the parking garage with ease. You came across an abandoned SUV and when you went to check it, you instantly regretted it. In the passenger seat sat Julie’s frozen corpse.

“We really did it this time, didn’t we?” You mumbled to yourself before you heard the groans of the nearby agent on the ground. You moved to his side and grabbed his face to turn him towards you.

“Where’d he go?” You asked firmly, to which he continued his pained sounds. “Where is Poindexter?” You urged again.

He pointed weakly towards the door to the stairwell so you left him on the floor and began your climb. As you climbed, you called Matt.

But he didn’t answer.

You tapped your mask to track the microphone you had left him with and saw he was already a few levels ahead of you. You blew out a sigh and decided to call Foggy instead.

“Hey.” He said with a relieved sigh. “Please tell me-“

“He’s already here.. They both are.” You cut in as you leaned over the bar to angle a shot for your wire towards one of the higher railings. “I’m on my way to them.”

“You have to stop him, Ex.”

You smiled to yourself as your wire looped around the metal. You climbed over and began a quicker ascend.

“Well I’ve tried that, a lot, and it’s not working.” You said simply, mentally counting off floors as you passed. “We need to try something different.”

“Like what?”

“Like a bluff.”

“A bluff?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay… I’m not following.”

“Clearly.” You mumbled as you swung your feet over the final railing. “What I’m saying is what if I stay out of his way.”

“You wanna let him do it?”

“You really think he will?” You asked simply as you unwrapped and tucked away your wire.

“Right now, I don’t know what he’ll do.”

“The guy we know is still in there.. I know it sounds crazy but it’ll work. He wouldn’t know whether I mean it or not. He can’t read me the way he reads everyone else. I don’t let him.”

He was quiet for a moment, likely getting Karen’s opinion.

“But what if it doesn’t work? What if.. we lose him forever?” 

“You gotta trust me.”

“I do but… Is it worth the risk of losing him?”

“I get it. But I don’t see any other option. He has to see for himself that he’s too good to do it.”

“If he can’t, are you going to?”

“Not unless I have to.”

“Will you stop him?”

“I don’t know.”

You ended the call, not allowing any other argument from Foggy. Instead, you pushed into the hall and practically sprinted to the ceremony. As you were coming up on the doors, your implant picked up on Ray’s voice. You didn’t know what it was, some sort of deathbed confession maybe, but it made your chest tight.

As you moved, you passed agent after agent on the ground. Labored breathing or groans of pain came from the bodies and you were moderately relieved that they weren’t dead. At least he had some restraint left, whichever one did all of it.

“I’d like to make a toast.” Dex said shakily from the stage as you entered the ballroom. “Julie and I wish you the absolute best.”

Dex pulled back to throw the microphone so you sprung into action. A serving tray came flying in front of Fisk and the microphone bounced off as you were passing by. Dex looked between you and who you assumed was Matt. You noticed his attention on something behind you and you turned just in time to see the agents lift their guns.

You dropped to the floor and ducked behind one of the tables. When the shots faltered you came out and hopped the table. With both hands on the surface, you kicked out and sent one agent falling into the one behind him. You took a disc from your belt and tossed it, highly charged bolts shooting out of the small device at the two agents. They fell with tight convulsions before Dex threw silverware that landed in their necks.

Matt took off and you were quick to follow him, leaving Dex and the remaining agents in the ballroom. The gunshots echoed throughout the halls as you ran and it sent a chill down your spine.

You noticed the annoyed shake of Matt’s head but you said nothing. You followed him up to the room that covered Fisk’s control center.

He burst in first with you close behind. He acted quickly and threw one of the men towards you. You reacted instantly and pulled a staff. You had to duck his flailing arms so you swung the weapon to knock his legs from under him. Once the agent fell to his back, you slammed the weapon against his temple. You flicked out the blade and moved at the agent Matt threw to the sofa.

Acting quickly, you slammed the blade through his shoulder and pin him to the furniture while you woke your Bites. Aiming one at the man beside you and one over Matt’s shoulder, you fired both and the men fell limp.

As Matt spoke to the woman, you recollected your weapon and placed it back in the pack.

“Подожди.” You called as Matt was headed to the stairs. (Wait.)

“Don’t try to stop me either, Ex.” He said tightly.

“Я не собирался.” You offered but he turned away from you. You groaned and moved forward, grabbing his arm to force him to stay put. “Я просто хотел сказать, что я с тобой... Что бы ты ни решил сделать.” (I wasn’t going to. I just wanted to say that I’m with you… Whatever you decide to do.)

“Правда?” He asked carefully, a hand handing on your arm and his fingers landing between the plates. “И если я действительно убью его?” (Really? And if I actually kill him?)

You gave a small smile as your other hand landed on his chest, right over his heart. You heard the door close as the woman ran off.

“Whatever you decide.” You said honestly.

He offered a small smirk before taking his hand off your arm and moving it to your neck. Before you could voice a question, his opposite hand slid the zipper down a few inches so the fingers on your neck could move under the collar of your suit.

“Tell me one more time.” He said lowly and for just a second, it was like old times. “Just to be sure.”

With a small smile, you let your meticulous control drop. For the first time in months, you were completely vulnerable. Every emotion, every physiological reaction, every tell you could possibly have, it was all on the table for Matt to read. And he knew it.

“I’m on your side, Matty. No matter what.” You said truthfully. And you knew the night would end in a way that favored you and your friends.

He gave a small smile and let out a sigh of relief. His hand went to the back of your neck and he pulled you closer. The other arm looped around your waist and your arms came loosely around him.

You fixed your mental guards and allowed a moment to survey what Matt was feeling. There was tension in his muscles, likely anticipatory for what was to come once you entered that suite. He was determined but also worried. There was an underlying excitement, the subtle type he always seemed to get before a fight. There was also a hint of confusion.

That was what you were looking for. Something to pull to the surface that could interfere with his initial plans.

Slipping a mental hook into that feeling, you pulled away and tapped his arm to follow you. You moved up the stairs and zipped your shirt the rest of the way up. When you hit the door to the suite, you woke your Bites and gripped one of your blades tightly. Matt’s hand landed on your lower back and when you turned to him, he gave you a quick nod.

You took a steadying breath before opening the door and walking in, ensuring your head was high as Matt followed behind you. As you entered the hall, Fisk and Vanessa came from the other end.

The tension in the air grew thicker with every breath. Fisk’s eyes went wide for a minute, flicking to the gleaming blade in your hand and the ominous red glow of your favored devices. Vanessa swallowed hard and took a fearful step back to try and hide behind her new husband.

“It’s over.” Matt said lowly, the familiar gravelly voice of the Devil coming through.

“Run.” Fisk said to Vanessa, pushing her back the way they came.

“This ends.” You warned with words tinted in your accent.

Fisk snarled slightly before bracing himself. Matt shifted beside you and your stance widened while you shifted your weight to your toes. They screamed at each other before they charged, Matt slamming into Fisk with enough force for them both to crash into something in the bedroom. You hurried in the same direction and caught Vanessa trying to race down the stairs.

You wouldn’t kill her, only sparing her life to fulfill your promise to Ray, but you’d have some fun in the meantime.

You flung your knife and watched the tip bury itself in her dress and pin it to the floor. As you were coming around the ledge, Matt and Fisk crashed through the wall. You were going to intervene but Matt fought back so you turned back to Vanessa.

You gripped the railings on either side and kicked both feet into her side. The sharp rip of fabric sounded as she tumbled down the stairs with loud exclamations. You recollected your blade and hopped the railing to follow her just as Matt sent Fisk tumbling the same way.

You landed in time to see Vanessa backing away from the door, a familiar bitter taste settling in your tongue. You spit on the floor in an effort to clear it but it lingered as you saw Dex enter the room.

You groaned inwardly as your small crowd seemed to freeze at his appearance. When it seemed no one else would move, you did. You moved around the table to put yourself in front of the bride.

As you rounded the table, you placed a hand on the ledge to allow you room to spin your legs and connect both feet with Dex’s jaw. He reached angrily for you but you threw yourself backwards. From the far end of the table, you saw Matt land from the upper level and move in against Dex.

You slid off the table and dropped to a low crouch. You snuck beside Vanessa and kicked her legs from underneath her. You pinned a knee against her chest and aimed one of your devices. You angled for a well-placed shot that would hurt but not kill her, only to be thrown off by Matt’s off balance body.

You groaned in annoyance and shoved your partner off you. In your own lull of action, you heard Fisk and Dex going at it from the other end of the room. You paused for a second to watch, only to realize that your former partner had little to no defense against Fisk. The best he could do was evade and try to put distance and gain an advantage.

He was sloppy, uncaring even. He wasn’t just broken. He has completely fallen apart.

You looked between a still fallen Vanessa and the quick paced fight ahead and decided on something more exciting. When Fisk threw Dex against the stairs, you inserted yourself.

You grabbed both staffs before getting to the side of Fisk. You stepped up the railing and reached around his neck to cross both sticks. You quickly moved your feet to be on the back end of the plexiglass and extended the limbs, holding tight with your staffs to pull the man off Dex. His ragged coughs drew an old, sadistic smile from you and the manic daze you knew all too well began to cloud your mind.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Dex stand and attempt to charge at you and Fisk. With a quick move, you jumped the railing and dug an elbow into Fisk’s spine for stability. When Dex was close enough, you slammed both feet into his chest. The impact sent him stumbling through the glass behind him and you were pushed the other direction.

When you hit the ground, you released the cross of your staffs and snuck between Fisk’s legs. You hooked a stick around either ankle and pulled forward as you slid your other leg through so you would spin to face him as he fell to his back. One staff was returned to the pack as you flicked out the long blade of the other.

“Ты больше никому не обидишь” You said simply and you placed a foot on his stomach. (You’ll never hurt anyone else again.)

You gripped your weapon with both hands and lifted it high above your head, the tip of the blade on a direct path to his chest. You let out a loud scream, one born out of pent up rage and pain that seemed to add heat to the blade in your hand, while you began to drive the knife down.

As your blade was mere inches from penetrating, you were slammed into from your side. The collision sent you rolling and your staff clattered from your hands. You heard the commotion continue and you pushed yourself to your elbows to see Fisk and Matt back in a fight, Matt getting body slammed through the table.

For a second, you hoped it would knock some sense into him. But that thought was shortly entertained because you were yanked to your feet by your hair.

You were spun roughly and a hand fit your throat, backing you up until you hit the wall. You let out a manic laugh when you saw it was Dex.

“Was it worth it?” You sneered. “Killing Julie.”

“I didn’t kill her.” He nearly screamed in your face before slamming you back again.

“But you did.” You nodded fervently. “If you didn’t try to make her love you-“

His free hand collided with the brick near your head and you acted quickly.

You grabbed the wrist around your throat and braced a foot at the bend of his hip. Your thumb dug into the space between bones at his wrist and he winced as his grip faltered. You stepped up using his own leg as leverage and hooked the other leg around his shoulder. You balled one fist in the suit material of the base of his neck and pulled to reveal enough skin that you could wedge you let Bite against. You fired the device and he yelled loudly while his hands gripped the back of your knees.

He slammed your body into the hard brick wall and you coughed roughly as the impact sent a jolt through the old fracture in your ribs. He pulled back to slam you again but you pulled the foot you had against his leg to flatten against the wall and change the angle of your body.

You slid your hands to grip the suit before kicking off and throwing yourself to the floor while Dex landed beside you. You quickly knelt on top of Dex and landed heavy hits to his face, forcing head to bounce off the ground. One of his hands were flailing to find something to use as a weapon and before you could block, he found your other staff and swung it at your jaw. You fell off and got to your hands and knees before he threw your staff at the glass chandelier above where Matt and Fisk were fighting.

Matt was quick to get out of the way, which left Fisk vulnerable to Dex’s barrage of attacks. You hurried over to the wreckage and recollected your staff before you decided what to do next. Dex’s focus shifted to Matt, which allowed you to go after Fisk. You turned to find him and saw him give Vanessa his jacket, a product of Melvin’s handiwork you assumed.

She met your eyes in a panic as you jumped the couch and began your assault. You alternated your hits, switching hands and angles. You mixed in body shots and elbows and knees. Vanessa’s hand landed on your shoulder and you reacted almost instantly.

You grabbed her wrist and twisted her arm outwards. You hooked a foot behind her ankle and slammed your other arm against her chest to knock her to the floor. She coughed heavily from the impact and you reached down for your knife. You smiled as you pressed the tip against the underside of her chin.

“You had Ray killed.” You spoke lowly, a heavy venom dripping from your accented words. “I should kill you for it.”

“But you won’t?” She managed, jerking under your weight in a desperate attempt to get you off of her.

“I do enjoy revenge.” Your head tilted as you pierced the skin slightly and you watched the steady stream of blood across her skin. “But using you to torture him is much more fun.”

You heard Fisk’s heavy footsteps behind you so you moved quickly. You quickly jumped to your feet and dragged Vanessa up with you, locking an arm around her throat while other held the tip of the knife against her sternum,

“Let her go, Y/N.” Fisk said carefully, hands out in front as if to soothe a wild animal. “She’s done nothing.”

“You consider Rahul Nadeem nothing?” You spoke sharply, pressing the knife a bit harder to hear a sharp gasp from Vanessa. “What do you say, hmm? A life for a life.”

“You don’t trade lives!”

“Исход делает.” You shrugged. (Exodus does.)

The loud shatter of glass beside you stole your attention for a second, but it was all Fisk needed. He yanked your hand away from his wife’s chest and pushed her away. With a tight grip on your wrist, he bent it back to point your own knife back at you. He backed you against the wall and you had to use your other hand to keep your own weapon away. His fingers locked around your own, not allowing you to drop your blade.

With a sly smile, you allowed your powers to reach out to the boys that came crashing through the window moments ago. You found that soft spot they both had for you, one was much easier to find than the other, and you yanked it to the surface. You projected a fear, a helplessness, while refusing to break eye contact with Fisk,

“You have no power here.” You said quietly as you heard the glass shifting. “You’ll lose.”

“Not until I’ve buried you.” He spoke roughly, pushing the knife again and you felt the tip poking through your suit and into your shoulder.

“I’m not afraid to die.”

You let your other hand drop and the knife pierced your shoulder completely with a sharp cry of pain. At the same time, two glass shards came flying in and punctured his abdomen. You offered a salute to Dex as a way of thanking him before Matt began an offense against him again. You turned back to Fisk as he pulled the bloody glass out.

You made a small noise of interest as you moved in, momentarily forgetting about the knife in you. You threw a sharp kick at the open wound and he cried out. You laughed slightly and kicked again. And again.

You reached forward and pressed your knuckles against the wound and watched the blood spurt across your hand. You pulled back and grabbed the man by his face, the other grabbing his shirtfront, and slammed him to the ground.

“You’re pathetic.” You sneered. “You’re nothing without your toys.”

You saw Dex fall from the corner of your eye and when you glanced, you saw him already locked in on Vanessa. You groaned to yourself and pushed off Fisk, hurrying up the stairs to yank Vanessa out of the way. The ceramic ashtray flew by your heads and shattered against the wall. You gripped Vanessa by her throat and threw her back against the plexiglass, leaning a knee into her chest to pin her down.

You turned back to the fight in time to see Fisk slam Dex into the corner of the brick. Your pressure on Vanessa eased slightly as something dropped heavy into the pit of your stomach. You shifted the glow to your Bites to blue and slid your knee over to allow a clearer shot to her chest.

Once Matt and Fisk found each other again, you hopped down the stairs and knelt on Dex’s chest. Your other foot pressed on his shoulder as you drew your gun. You pressed the barrel under his chin and he gasped for air beneath you.

Something was wrong. You knew it immediately, before you even got close to Dex. As your weight was bearing down on him, you were tense as you waited for a response. You waited for him to try and throw you off, to pull a knife or a gun of his own. You expected him to toss you around like a rag doll, only for you to come back at him relentlessly. But he did nothing…

“Fight back.” You demanded softly, your voice seemingly gone.

“Y/- Y/N.” He choked out.

The cold seemed to radiate from his chest and stick to the fabric pressed against him. There was regret, likely stemming from whatever injury the impact caused, and sadness. He truly had nothing and he finally understood that, laying on the ground with his former partner pressing a gun to his head.

“Dammit, Poindexter. Fight. Back”. You pressed the gun harder.

“Can’t.” He managed weakly.

You stood slowly, keeping a foot on his wrist and your gun aimed while the other hand hit your mask’s side button. You glanced over his body and saw the complete shatter of his vertebrae.

“You owe whatever pathetic life you have left to Ray… I won't offer this mercy again.” You said simply.

“Stop it, please!” Vanessa shouted desperately.

You turned quickly and saw Matt had Fisk on his knees and was pounding on him. You turned the aim of your gun on Vanessa and moved to stand beside Matt. Despite looking away from the woman, your gun stayed up as you faced Matt and yanked your blade from your shoulder.

His hands were positioned to finish it, to snap Fisk’s neck. You found yourself frozen in place as you waited for what he would do next. Part of you, the part manufactured from the Red Room, wanted to see him do it. You wanted to corrupt the Devil, to bloody his hands in a way he’d never clear.

But the more important part, the part you thought you had lost a long time ago, knew you didn’t want to see him do it. Seeing him do it would make it too real and it would change the way he saw himself and the way you would see him. The things that made him Matt Murdock would break if he did it.

Yet you did nothing. Not until he screamed. A sound of pure rage and agony that was paired with a blast of searing heat. Matt fell to his knees at your feet, reaching for your hand. But before he could take it, Fisk’s words drew your action.

“I will never stop hunting Karen Page or Foggy Nelson.” He warned, though there was defeat in his words.

You moved to stand in front of him and placed the gun against his forehead. He simply glared up at you, covered in his own blood. “I will tell the world who both of you really are.”

“I don’t care about the world.” You spat back, pressing your knee against his chest to knock him into the wall. You leaned your weight down and he coughed as the bony part of your leg dug into his sternum. “It has taken enough from me… You don’t get to do that anymore.”

“Wilson.” Vanessa tried from the other end of the room.

“Vanessa, please go. Please!” He shouted around you.

You turned quickly and fired a shot at Vanessa’s feet, to which she jumped back and screamed. You pressed the now hot barrel back to its prior position as Matt got to his feet.

“You.. You want us to kill you.” Matt realized through heavy breaths. 

“No prison can keep me.” Fisk taunted and you had to grind your teeth. “You know that… Come on, kill me! Isn’t that what you always wanted, Exodus?”

Your trigger finger itched but Matt spoke before you could act.

“No!” Matt yelled in response. You made a face to yourself and knew you should pull the gun back you didn’t, not even when Matt came to your side to yell at Fisk. “God knows I want to, but you don’t get to destroy who I am.”

You almost smiled in relief, but the thump of worry lived in the back of your mind. You could feel Vanessa’s concern for Fisk, her worry that he would die in front of her. Her helplessness plagued you like a magnet to metal and for a moment, you remembered when you felt the same way.

When Luke dragged you to the elevator without Matt. When Fisk said Matt’s name in front of other agents.

“You will go back to prison and you will live the rest of your miserable life in a cage, knowing you’ll never have Vanessa. That this city rejected you, it beat you. We beat you!” Matt demanded and you were proud he found a way back to himself.

“You will keep our secrets.” You spoke simply, putting your gun away to yank the man to the ground. You flicked one of your shock discs at him and pressed a foot against his broad chest. You leaned into your foot and twisted to ensure the small circle engaged and he groaned loudly as you heard the electricity crackle while you leaned the entirety of your weight against him. Matt knelt beside you and lifted his mask before he spoke.

“And you won’t harm Karen Page or Foggy Nelson or anyone else.”

“If you try it, I will go after your wife. And I will prove that she ordered the murder of Agent Rahul Nadeem. And if she’s lucky, she’ll spend the rest of her life in a cell, same as her miserable excuse of a husband.”

You stepped off his chest and tapped Matt’s arm before taking a few steps away. Matt replaced his mask and came to your side as Vanessa inched closer, her uncertainty coming off in shaky waves.

“Thank you.” She said shakily, reaching for your hand.

“I didn’t do it for either of you.” You said sharply. “And I will not extend this mercy again, to any of you.”

She nodded quietly before moving away, leaving you to stand beside an unsteady Matt. His hands were on his head and he was radiating anger. He was mad at himself for not being able to go through with it, but he was also glad that he didn’t. He understood what the consequences would’ve been and he knew that keeping that part of himself was more important than revenge.

“You’re okay.” You said gently to your partner, a hand landing on his shoulder. “I knew you’d do the right thing.”

“What if I didn’t?” He said weakly.

“We’re still in it together, Devil.” You shrugged. “Anyone comes after you, they come after me.”

“If I agree to your demands, you leave my wife alone.” Fisk countered, now kneeling beside Vanessa.

“You misunderstood me.” You warned. “There is no agreement. You have no leverage.”

“You leave Vanessa free!”

“You didn’t care about taking a father from a ten year old boy!” You shouted angrily, the sound of the bullet firing on Ray replaying in your head. Your anger burned down your spine and across your skin until it swelled in your palms, searing through the wound on your shoulder. “You took a husband away from his wife! Why should yours be free?”

“I was protecting the man I love.” Vanessa countered with false confidence, despite the darting eyes and trembling hands. “Could you tell me you don’t do the same?” She nodded to Matt though her eyes remained on you.

“I owe you people nothing. If it were up to me, you’d both be a puddle of your own blood right now.” You spat. “But I promised Ray I would do this the right way, and I promised the Devil I’d let him decide.”

Matt stepped forward and held a hand out to Fisk.

“If you keep your word.” He said simply.

Reluctantly, Fisk shook Matt’s hand. 

“Then it’s a deal.” He spoke bitterly, moments before the heavy banging came from the door.

“We should go.” You grabbed Matt’s arm lightly.

He nodded quietly before taking your hand. You two hurried up the stairs to the upper level and paused to see Brett enter with his team. You watched as they unmasked Dex and you weren’t fully listening to the words they were saying. You were distracted by the pained look on Dex’s face, what looked like tears in his eyes.

“Я оплакываю своего друга, который умер, когда ты надел этот костюм…” You said quietly, more to yourself than anything but you knew Matt heard. “Человек, которого я вижу сейчас, ничто.” (I mourn my friend, who died when you put on that suit… The man I see now is nothing.)

Matt grabbed your hand without a word and led you out the same way you two came in, avoiding cops until you made it to the rooftop. Through your lenses, you saw Fisk being shoved into the car and Foggy and Karen out in the courtyard.

You let out a small chuckle of relief when you could finally accept that you had won.

You, with Matt and Ray’s help, beat Wilson Fisk.

Again.

[1rsoldiersince2012]

Bound by Law(Matt Murdock x Reader)

Words: 4263 (chapter 44)

44. The ones we left behind

"Y/n! I came here as fast as I could." Foggy runs up to you, clearly out of breath, and from the first glance, you could say that out of bed too.

You lift your eyes from your briefcase that you've been holding in your arms ever since the agents gave it back to you. Dex's hand gently squeezes your shoulder, before he stands up, greeting Foggy. "Agent Poindexter. Are you a family member?"

"No, I'm her friend. Coworker. Why are you still holding her here? How are you?" Foggy asks, concern written all over his face.

You pull Dex's FBI windbreaker tighter, feeling the cold seeping into your bones. "I'm alright, Foggy."

"No, you're not." Foggy quickly sits beside you on the small bench, where Dex has been keeping you company for the past couple of hours, and takes your right hand into his. "What happened? Who hurt you?"

Dex eyes Foggy for a minute, before his glance falls on your arm wrapped with medical gauze. "I said I'm alright. Just hurt my arm a bit, nothing serious... Nurse said to keep it like that for a couple of days." Your stare is blank. You avoid Foggy's eyes. Dex excuses himself and leaves you two alone.

"Was it the Russians? Everyone's saying that it was the Russians." You pull your hand away from Foggy and touch the ring on your middle finger, slowly rolling it.

"Well, it looks like you already know everything."

"I want to hear it from you, y/n."

"Yes, okay?" You raise your voice a tiny bit, but in the empty corridor it sounds as if you were shouting. "They killed Michael, they kidnapped me and then this freak, the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, saved me. You're happy?"

Foggy blinks more than necessary, carefully choosing his next words. "No, of course I'm not happy. Why would I be happy when my friend got hurt? The only one I can trust now..."

You furrow your eyebrows. "You need better friends then. I'm..." You blink your new tears away. You've cried enough in front of the others today. "I'm a mess, okay? They're going to question me tomorrow, and I have to relive it all again, and I just don't want to say something that might hurt you... Only because I'm hurt."

"Y/n, I understand..."

"You better go home, Foggy, I have nothing to say you would want to hear." You look away, not trying to hurt Foggy, but hoping to protect him from your anger.

"Let me get you a taxi, at least." He stands up, looking down at your lowered head.

"Dex will take me home. He's bound to do so after the brief inquiry." You squeeze out a small, but fake smile, "I'm okay, really."

"You're either a very good liar or very good at convincing." Foggy smiles and spins on his heel to leave, but then turns around, "call me tomorrow, okay?"

You nod and watch him hurry out of the building into the pitch black night. "You're ready to go?" Dex emerges from the nearby room, having been listening to you and Foggy's conversation.

"Yes. I am."

***

The silent drive finally ends, and you're back home, standing under the hot water stream in your shower, hoping that it can peel off your skin and make you feel less dirty and miserable as you felt now.

Your tears have mixed with water running down your face until there was no difference between them. You tried to keep your right hand out of the water, but it was pointless as it soon got wet.

You hear a loud banging on the doors as you turn off the water and wrap yourself in a bathrobe, water dripping from your soaking wet hair on the floor as you reluctantly make way towards the door. "Y/n, please, open up." Matt rests his head on the doors, still knocking, but moves aside when hears the lock clicking.

"Foggy told you?" You step back to let him in and lock the doors again.

No. "Yeah." He sighs, moving his hands in the air before he finally manages to get a hold of your shoulder. "How are you?"

"Spectacular." You huff sarcastically, making your way back to the living room before Matt gently catches your wrist. Something familiar crosses your mind but before you can think of it, your face is pressed into his chest, and he's holding you tightly against him.

"I'm so sorry." Matt whispers in your ear, his cashmere sweater muffling your words, words that he already has heard tonight. "Are you hurt?"

"No." You lie, pulling apart from Matt, this time he releases you, following you into the living room.

"I know that it's not the best time" Matt begins, holding his interlocked fingers behind his back, "but I thought you should know..."

You turn around to face him, "know what?"

He shouldn't say anything now, he should just let you be in your own bubble and grieve Teneke, at least tonight. He shouldn't have come here at all, not after what he did just hours ago...in the mask. Karen told him, and he said he'll keep it a secret, for a little while at least. But he couldn't lie to you, at least not about this.

"Know what, Matt?" You ask again, getting impatient with his lack of response.

"Wesley's dead." Matt finally says, holding his breath for your reaction.

You feel blood leaving your face and your legs turn to jelly, and involuntary, you plop on the sofa. "How?"

"Someone shot him. Many times. Maybe to send a message to Fisk-"

"When?" Your voice slightly trembles, and you're already up, going into the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of brandy, getting another glass for Matt.

"I don't know exactly when, but there were talks about the sabotage during Fisk's gala." He follows you into the kitchen, listening to your loud exhalation when the alcohol burns your throat.

"Who told you that?" You look at Matt as if your eyes could burn holes in his head.

Karen. "Somebody you don't like." Matt says instead.

"If you're going to keep talking in riddles, then leave." You cross your arms.

"The Devil."

"The Devil? Well, he's lying, then."

"He said that it's true. But it's up to you to...believe it or not." Matt feels you push the brandy glass into his hand and takes it. Like a gust of wind, you leave the kitchen and stand next to the window, watching the streetlamps illuminate the city. You're silent, and this silence is killing him.

"You know, we worked so hard to get him out of jail, and then the Russians just killed him." You finally say, turning to look at Matt. "I thought I was going to die tonight. And there was only one thought in my mind the whole time I was at their mercy."

"What was it?" Matt puts the half full glass on the counter, holding his breath.

"You." The corners of your lips turn upwards slightly, "I wasn't really scared about dying, maybe I just was in a lot of shock... But I was thinking to myself, hoping that you're okay, and you won't play a hero and try to avenge me or something. I thought, 'if he doesn't make amends with Foggy, then he's an idiot'." You chuckle, watching Matt's eyebrows twitch.

"I..."

"But then this," you wave your arms in the air, "devil came, and he claims to not work for Fisk, but I just feel it in my bones that he's hiding something important."

"I think you shouldn't let your feelings get the best of you, especially not now." Matt tries, but then understands just how ridiculous that sounds now, so instead, he sits on your sofa and takes off his glasses. "You know, my dad died when I was nine. He was killed. I heard the shot, just outside our apartment and... ran out, my blood turned cold in my veins, and when I finally found him, in an alley, he was already dead. I held his body in my arms, prayed to God to send him back to me." Matt rubs his eyes, "then cursed Him when my dad didn't wake up. His body was still warm, he was still bleeding out in my arms... But no one could help him. Not even God."

You slowly walk towards him, and sit close, taking his left hand and interlocking your fingers with Matt's. "I'm sorry." You whisper, watching a single tear roll down his cheek.

"I wish there was someone who could've saved him. I could've saved him."

"Matt, you were still a child, there was nothing you could do."

Matt turns to face you, his nose just inches away from yours, "there was no saving for Teneke either."

"I know." You whisper, "but all this unknown... It scares me."

"The Russians will pay for this."

"Dex said the FBI got them all. They're facing charges for murder, kidnapping and money laundering. But Fisk isn't involved in any of this. I already looked at the documents." You sigh, resting your head against Matt's shoulder.

"Dex? He's that Agent?" Matt's hands take your legs and put them on his, allowing him to sit closer to you.

"Yeah." You give no more details and just breathe in Matt, his cologne, his shower gel and the smell of his new sweater which feels so soft against your face.

"You should go to bed." Matt says, not making a move to let go of you, with the way you were pushing yourself against him.

"I don't think I'll sleep tonight." You close your eyes, enjoying the warmth from Matt's body.

He chuckles slightly. "You really thought that I won't get revenge for you?"

"I'm always hoping that you're not as stupid as you might be." You push your face into his neck, breathing hot air on Matt's skin.

"I might surprise you."

"Don't do it now. Just close your eyes."

Matt smiles sadly. The guilt was eating him from the inside, and he felt the devil on his shoulder getting bigger and bigger with each passing minute. But he obliged, for now, and closed his eyes.

*** 

Is she someone special to the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, or just likes to get into deadly accidents? 

This isn't the first time that Hell's Kitchen's well-known lawyer y/n y/l/n finds herself struggling to find an outcome of rather dangerous accidents that she creates with her cases and perhaps not the last time that the city's masked vigilante is coming to her aid. What bounds Hell's Kitchen's most hated man with the respected lawyer? Is it money or desire to remain famous when her former company, Hogarth, Chao and Benowitz dropped her after the accident involving the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, and now that she's trying to keep her status above the 'bare minimum' bar, is she using the vigilante as her guarantee of fame to revive the small office of Nelson and Murdock? What's in it for the vigilante, money or the attention and trust of the city after being accused of causing the explosions in Hell's Kitchen merely a couple of weeks ago? 

You drop the newspaper on the table after reading the first paragraph of the first page. "Fame? Money? Is..." you look at the end of the article to see the author, "this Nancy Lockwood for real?"

"It's just a newspaper, y/n." Matt tries to argue, swallowing a piece of his french toast.

"Didn't take it for a cheap gossip journal, because what is this, are they seriously suggesting that me and that guy are 'something special'? Fuck." You sit down in front of Matt, watching him take a sip of his hot coffee. 

"Did they mention Teneke? Or the Russians?" 

"Not a single word. If Fisk is paying them, he's paying them good because he's got me in the mud with the devil." You scoff.

"They're going to forget this quickly, soon, the FBI trial will be more important than your business." Matt cuts the last slice of the toast into two pieces, feeling your anger fill the living room of your apartment. "You should eat before leaving."

"The news didn't exactly increase my appetite." You sigh, looking out the window. "Will you return to the office today? Foggy texted me that extra hands would be welcomed."

"Don't think he had me in mind." He shrugs, pulling one of your blankets on his shoulders. 

"Just... Go, please. I'm not asking you to talk to each other, just be there, in case we get new clients... I'm not sure I'm a very welcomed sight for them after this Nancy earned her montly pay." You finish your coffee and leave Matt alone to make his decision. 

*** 

"I hope I didn't disturb you, Father." You cross the threshold of the church and take a breath of the dull air. 

"No, child, all are welcome in the house of God." Father Lantom smiles and leads the way to his small office, walking quickly through the longs rows of pews. "I have to admit, though, I didn't expect to see you here again."

"Neither have I, Father. But life is a funny thing. Or as you might say, 'God has a plan for everyone'." You sit in front of Lantom at the small table and take quick look around, but then notice today's newspaper lying. Your expression turns sour.

"Yes, that's the truth, there is a plan for everyone." Lantom follows your eyes and sighs.

"Mine isn't going well so far. As you already know, I suppose." You roll your eyes and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. 

"Before we go into further discussion, would you like a cup of a latte?"

"Uh, no, thank you."

"Business only then." He tries to joke but then gets serious. "Not a particularly nice front page. Even for Bulletin that's a new low."

"Well, the guy got his front page. It seems that it's the only thing that matters to him."

"I know that the two of you crossed your paths before... Do you believe in his doing?" Father crosses his arms and watches your eyes wander to the small window on your left. 

"He's playing God, thinks he can do whatever he wants just because he's wearing a mask. And it just seems that he's somehow always after me... I just don't trust that his intentions are good." You notice a sparrow trying to keep itself steady on a tree branch but the wind is just too strong, so it flies away. "He's breaking the law, which I can't forgive as an attorney. I also think that he's... Hiding more than just his identity."

"Why do you think he's doing all those things?"

"I don't know. It's hard to imagine yourself in a criminal's place when you've never... Did those things. But did other things." You lower your head in shame.

"You know that your secret is safe with me as long as you label it as a cofession." Father looks at you intently.

"I know. But... Do you believe in his doing? I suppose it's hard to do so when he's called the Devil."

"Hm. It's difficult to say... I understand where he's coming from... But it's not like I support his doings. Violence is never an answer." Father sits in silence for a moment, clearly thinking. "It is said that he's not killing anyone. At least he's smart enough to not get his hands bloody."

You scoff, feeling a lump in your throat. "At least someone shares a similar opinion. I just can't go to the office anymore without hearing Karen defend him. It almost seems that she's in love with him just because he saved her once."

"And he saved you more than once. Yet you don't share the same feelings with her."

You furrow your eyebrows, then sigh, "it's difficult. I... There's something between me and someone else going on. I don't know what will become of it, or how long will it last but..." You trail off, almost ashamed to admit your feelings.

"Is it... Matt?" Lantom asks and notices your cheeks redden. "I apologize for being so blunt, but I noticed the way you two were interacting during the funeral. The eyes never lie."

"Yes. But this has nothing to do with my disliking of this criminal... I just don't like him poking into my business. I don't know if I'm ready for the cofession... But with all the things that have happened... I just can't keep this a secret any longer. Not to myself."

"You can tell me anything, y/n. I can assure you that this will remain only between us. God is our witness, or what other lawyer words you may like to use."

A small smile appears on your face and you wish to have a cigarette in your hands, but settle on something more appropriate for this place. "I think I'll take that latte, Father."

*** 

Your return to the Nelson and Murdock office at the end of the day was a surprise to Foggy and Karen. Not a particularly pleasant one. "You said it youself about the extra help, Foggy." You hang your coat and drop your purse of your table, noticing the absence of Matt. 

"I was only joking, you only..." Foggy stumbles with his words, then decides to rephrase the sentence, "after yesterday, you shouldn't have come here. It's too soon."

"I'm okay, I promise." You walk into the kitchen with easiness in your step, causing more suspicion to Foggy and almost collide with Karen. Something about Karen felt suspicious and your thoughts travelled to Wesley. Why did Karen remind you of the fact that he was dead? Was it some supernatural sixth sense or just your head messing with you?

Your stare was cold and empty, but Karen squeezed a small smile nonetheless. "Hey. I uh, didn't think you'd be back so soon. I heard what happened. I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, I've never left actually. Unlike some of the people here." Your words cut like a broken piece of glass and Karen gulps, but then your eyebrows twitch, creating a more pleasant expression, "thanks, but nice words won't help Teneke anymore. I trust the FBI to do their job now."

"Right." Karen pulls away from the coffee maker to create more space for you. The calmness that you wore as a cloak on your shoulders was almost frightening. Something similar to a psychopath smiling.

"We got four new cases today." Foggy says loudly, breaking the awkwardness in the kitchen. 

"Huh, I guess I really am reviving the office with my glory hunting." 

"It was a nasty article from Bulletin." Karen takes her cup of coffee and turns on her heel to leave the kitchen area.

"I don't know, it got us clients." Foggy tries to joke, "I'm sorry, it was a bad attempt to joke. Did he really save you?"

You stop stirring the coffee and look at Foggy and Karen's faces - waiting for your confirmation. "Yes." You walk back to your office and close the doors, feeling them staring at you through the  windows.

"I... I think I'll go now, you better lay off the booze, Karen." Foggy gently nudges Karen, reminding her of their conversation before you came, and takes his briefcase from the table, opening the doors to leave when Matt makes an entrance, standing in the doorway. Both Matt and Foggy stand in silence, Matt, with an unreadable expression, and Foggy, scared, almost as if he saw a ghost. Matt takes two steps to the side, allowing Foggy to step out, which he does, as awkwardly as one could imagine. 

"Well that wasn't awkward." Karen says when Matt closes the door.

"What are you doing here so late? Or early or whatever it is?" Matt turns his head to the side, listening to Foggy's descending steps.

"Um, couldn't sleep." Karen replies.

"Lot of that going around."

"Seems like it's the only thing we still all have in common." Karen says, expecting Matt to say something, but he just gives her his typical shrug, making way to his office.

The smell of warm coffee and your perfume makes Matt feel at home and his shoulders visibly relax. "Didn't expect to have company."

"Neither did I." You can't stop the silly smile dancing on your lips when his fingers gently touch your shoulder while passing by. 

"Why are you not at home? What happened during the questioning?" He sits down in his old seat, taking some documents out of his briefcase.

"It was okay. For FBI. Can't believe I'm saying that feds did a good job, but they did. I think Dex and Ray worked their asses off last night to actually pull reliable evidence." You sigh, reading the same old documents of your cases, trying to find a connection with Fisk.

"You sound... Different." Matt slides his fingers on paper slowly, tracing every bump, every letter. 

"Different how?" 

"More calm. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah. Possibly now more than ever. I-" you get interrupted when Karen opens the door and announces her departure for tonight. You're left in a comfortable silence with Matt again.

"You were saying something." He reminds you, reaching for your cup of coffee.

"I went to a place after the questioning." You trail off, suddenly standing up and walking up to Matt. He hears the papers rustle and feels your presence next to him, leaning on the table. "The church."

"Church? You went there?" He can't help himself and puts his hand on your bare knee.  

"Surprised myself too." You chuckle. "But... had a long talk with Father Lantom. He certainly knows what advice to give."

"Yeah, he does." Matt replies, not asking any more questions, because his beliefs told him that confessions were strictly between a person and a priest. 

"He said that he missed you." You look down on Matt, gently touching his bruised cheek. "You should go there."

"I know." Matt leans into your touch, closing his eyes behind his red shades. His hand slides further up, on the inside of your thigh. 

"He told me to be patient. Because you, Murdocks, are hotheads." You can't help but spread your legs further apart to make space for Matt's hand, travelling closer to your core.

"He knows about us? Did you tell him?" 

"I think he's very good at reading people." You reply, feeling Matt place a gentle kiss on your thigh.

"Well, he wasn't wrong about Murdocks being hotheads." He slides in front of you with his chair, pushing your underwear down and pulling up your skirt. You don't stop him, on the contrary, sit on the edge of the table more comfortably, waiting for Matt's next move with a familiar anticipation in your stomach. Maybe that was what people called butterflies. 

You lose your train of thought when Matt kisses the inside of your thigh once, before diving to meet your clit with his hot tongue. You buckle your hips upon the contact and your fingers slide into his dark hair. "Matt..." You exhale loudly, when his slow and calculated movements suddenly quicken, and you can't help but bite your lip, in order to stop the moans from leaving your mouth. The thrill of thinking that either Foggy or Karen could return made your head spin. Matt moves his tongue with confidence, almost groaning at the feeling of finally doing what he wanted to do for a long time. And pleasuring you this way felt even better than he imagined. All your troubles disappeared and you felt the knot tightening in your stomach. "Matt, I'm gonna-" you don't get to finish your sentence when a strong orgasm takes over your body, your thighs trap Matt's head, shaking from the impact, and you feel him pressing your stomach with his hand to keep you in place, which adds to the sensation and you let out a frustrated moan. Matt waits for you to calm down and slowly kisses you, letting you taste your own high on his tongue.

"Fuck, you're gonna have to do this everyday." You kiss him again before standing up and fixing yourself.

"Gladly." Matt smiles with a lovesick grin, pulling back the papers for reading.

You leave him alone and go to the bathroom downstairs, a smile never leaving your face, but the conversation with Father Lantom resurfaces to your mind again.

*** 

'You don't like him so much because you wish he existed during those nights? You wanted for the so-called hero appear and save the day, right?'  Father Lantom's calm voice makes your head lift from the empty cup.

'Yes, I suppose.'

'You have to forgive yourself for this, child. I'm sure God has forgiven you long time ago.'

'I think the problem is Father, that I just don't believe in God. Maybe I am paying for that now.'

'Don't linger on bad moments for too long. You might forget what happiness feels like. And just... give yourself a chance to love. I might not know you so well as I know Matthew, but from what you've told me, you both need it. Don't give up on him so soon.' Lantom puts a hand on yours through the table in a fatherly manner and taps it twice. 'Be at peace, y/n.'

[kilyra]

Let Me Fix This

Special Agent Ben Poindexter/Bullseye (Daredevil) One-Shot

A/N: I received an anon request where during one of Dex's episodes he actually hurts y/n physically but he didn't mean to. And so during a heated argument, that’s what happens.

Warning: Domestic violence as mentioned above, plus terrible language! Effbomb and everything. But it is completely spoiler free and takes place before S3

“Are you seriously this angry over it still? I already said I'm sorry.” You slammed the door behind you and hung your purse up with such force the strap should have broke.

“Do you have any idea what that was like? What that put me through?” Dex as already in the living room area, pacing back and forth in front of the couch.

“What, to be the one stood up for once? Yeah, as a matter of fact, I know exactly what that's like!”

Although you knew Dex's new assignment had him working long hours, it was also pulling him away last minute. Going into a relationship with an FBI Agent, you knew this sort of thing came with the territory so you tried not to let it get to you.

But he had some nerve losing his shit at you the one time the situation was reversed.

“You know I can't help that. Everything with this new assignment is demanding and I don't get a choice.” As he stormed back and forth, he kept his tone raised but even.

“Yeah, which is why I didn't realize we were supposed to be getting together tonight.” Coming further into the apartment, you stood near the edge of the kitchen area. Your voice rose too.

Continuing to pace, his right arm twitched as his hand balled up and relaxed while he kept moving. “It's Thursday, Y/n. We meet at Il Melograno on Thursday's. That's always been our routine.”

Pinching your nose you had to try hard not to yell. This was getting insane – you guys had circled around the same comments for the entire way home. “But when I didn't hear back from you, I assumed it was off for this week. I understand how your work is, and I get you don't have a choice.”

“That's right. I don't. This new assignment...these guys we're after...you have no idea what they're capable of.”

As he ranted, you pulled your coat off and roughly slapped it on the counter before kicking off your shoes. He kept pacing, but the twitching in his arm grew, like a shudder running through him.

Taking a step past the counter, you didn't let up. And you failed on the not-yelling front. “Fine! But I don't get why that means I'm expected to wait at places for you, with no idea if you're going to show up or not. Why am I supposed to be wasting my time??”

“Because I was worried!” Spinning toward you, the rage in his face made your blood run cold. It startled you so much, you missed the blur of his arm snapping your direction.

Suddenly, there was a piercing bang beside you and something hit your face. Everything seemed to freeze as you stumbled back in shock, ducking out of harm's way even though it was too late.

The glass in the picture frame hanging on the wall near you was shattered. Did that explode?

On the floor, among broken glass, you spotted the decorative paperweight that sat on the coffee table.

Continuing to back away, your side painfully hit the counter and you looked over at Dex.

His eyes were wide - he was as stunned as you were. Wordlessly, his mouth was dropped open, and both arms were spread apart with his fingers splayed. The veins in his forehead were throbbing and the ones up his forearms were popping from the tension in his muscles as he froze. Finally, he chest heaved as he blinked rapidly and took sharp breaths of air.

Did...did you just get glass in your face? Slowly, you reached towards your cheeks.

That movement seemed to jar Dex back into the moment. Suddenly, he sprang forward with his hands out. “No, don't.”

Gasping, you jumped back, hitting your back against the fridge. But out of his reach.

He froze again, blinking and wildly looking around as he kept his palms facing you. “Y/n, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to...I didn't realize what I grabbed.”

“And that makes it ok?!” Your voice broke and you had to steel yourself against the flood of emotion that was catching up to you as the numbness receded.

You still didn't know if you had glass in your face, but your cheeks were starting to burn.

Swallowing heavily, he kept his eyes on you as he shook his head. Somehow, this tall man, half looming over you suddenly looked like a child as he stared at you with his panic-stricken eyes.

How were you the one staying more with it?

“You threw a fucking paperweight at me!”

“I-I didn't. I didn't throw it at you, I threw it at the wall I just...I just didn't realize it would explode like that.”

A tremor started in your chest and quickly spread through your torso and limbs. How bad was your face?

“That doesn't make it better.” You snapped as a rush of anger spread out with the shaking. It was almost hard to talk, but you bitterly spat out every word.

“No, you're right, it doesn't,” he said, swallowing again.

“Fuck this. I'm out of here, I don't need this shit. I mean...what the fuck Dex?” Shakily letting out a breath, you took a step along the fridge.

Smoothly, Dex moved to block your path with his palms still stretched out. His eyebrows furrowed together and he started looking around the room. “But there's glass everywhere. Just...I have my shoes on still and you don't. Please, just wait there. Don't move. Don't leave. I-I can fix this...just let me fix this.”

Stepping back, glass crunched under his foot, drawing his attention and he paused. You could tell he was struggling with what to do first. Not that you cared, you just wanted out. But he was right about the glass. If you didn't already have some jammed in your foot already, another step would make that happen.

Exhaling through his nose, Dex lifted a chair from the kitchen table above his shoulder. Leaning and taking as few steps as possible, he set it down further into the kitchen area, away from the glass. “I'm going to get the first aid kit from the bathroom. Wait there, it's safe over there.”

Sitting down, you tried to ignore the rush of heat that broke out over your skin. You doubted you were going into shock from blood loss. If it were that bad, there is no way Dex would be doing anything other than taking you to the hospital. But the adrenaline was wearing off and the awfulness of everything was setting in.

For a few moments, Dex flew around the apartment hastily sweeping the glass into one corner before sprinting for the first aid kit.

As he reached you, he dropped to his knees in front of the chair. There were red rims around his watery eyes as he looked up at you. For a moment he paused, kneeling before you as his stare skimmed over your face. Was he surveying the damage or looking for something from you?

His eyes grew redder and his blinking was more pronounced before he looked away. When he opened the kit, you saw he was shaking.

Sighing, your hands balled into fists, catching some of the fabric of your pants. “Dex. If you're going to help me, you need to calm down.”

You wanted to hit him. No, actually you wanted to run. Instead, you sat patiently as you clutched your pants and watched the agent fumble with the kit.

Nodding, he took a deep inhale and closed his eyes. For a moment, he held his breath before letting it back out in a long, forceful stream of air. His shoulder sagged slightly, and he bowed towards the kit and started sorting his supplies.

His hands weren't shaking. Not as badly at least.

“I can fix this. Please, just let me fix this,” he mumbled as he grabbed the tweezers.

You would let him clean you up – you resigned yourself to that much. But you weren't sure this was fixable.

[capsironunderoos]

Shattered

Agent Ben Poindexter (Dex/Bullseye) x Female!Reader

Summary: Dex gets home from work to find you already asleep.

Word Count: 882 

Warnings: None!

Author’s Note: I’m not even sure people still read/watch Daredevil, but I do (we love a comfort show) and I remembered that I wrote this lil, very tiny, bit. I hope you enjoy! 

Here’s a link to my masterlist: capsironunderoos masterlist

Dex is absolutely sure this isn’t what life had planned for him. He knows that everything was supposed to be different, everything was supposed to be better, but something long before he was born changed the course of everything. He didn’t know what that was and he knew for a fact that he never really would. And he wasn’t okay with that. 

In fact, there were a lot of things he wasn’t okay with. 

The attack on his FBI colleagues. 

The fact that he had been the only one there to save what was left of them. 

This meaning that he also saved Wilson Fisk, who he was then charged with guarding as he lived a lifestyle more lavish than Dex would ever see. 

He also wasn’t okay with being the FBI’s scapegoat. 

Administrative leave? 

Being investigated? 

For doing his job? 

He thinks about these things as he walks down the seemingly endless corridor that leads him to his apartment. Behind that door is the one thing he is okay with. More than okay with. In love with, even, as scary as that is for him to admit. 

He slides his key into the lock, humming in contentment at the familiar sound and feel of it clicking into place and opening up into his home, where he feels most safe. He closes the door gently, not sure what he is walking into. He’s almost surprised to see the apartment completely neat. That’s how he likes things, but living with you had made him realize it was okay to be messy sometimes. 

He gets nervous for a minute when not only is the apartment absolutely clean, but it’s completely silent. He lays his keys quietly on the counter before making his way to his bedroom. 

He steps into the room and feels his heart squeeze in his chest at the sight before him. 

You’re laying on top of the covers, not even under them, in fact the bed is still made up. You’re clearly in one of his shirts, as it comes down to your mid-thigh, and your bare legs twist ever so slightly into the covers. 

A pile of your work is laid in front of you and your pen is still in your hand, just like the lamp beside his bed is still on. He can tell it hasn’t been long since you fell asleep. 

Dex quickly sets to work, grabbing your pen and stack of papers and keeping them as neat as possible as he moves them to the desk he installed for you. He quickly strips, not even bothering to put on a T-shirt, opting to sleep in his boxers tonight. 

He sighs as he sits on the edge of the bed, not yet wanting to turn out the light. He just wants to be in your presence for a moment. To be near you without any distractions. 

Dex brushes his fingertips lightly across your facial features before pushing your hair away from your face. You stir slightly but still don’t wake up, not until he begins to pull you into him so that he can lift the covers for you. You blink slowly and squint at him and he chuckles, a smile pressing it’s way onto his lips. You lopsidedly smile back and he laughs again. 

“Tried t’ wait for you.” You mumble and move your legs as you wrap your arms around his torso, your cool cheek resting against his chest. He kisses your forehead as he brings the covers up and on top of both of you. 

“S’okay baby. I’m not mad.” He whispers, scared to wake you up too much. He reaches behind him and cuts off the lamp, enveloping the room around you in darkness. You sigh as he shifts down onto the pillow, you moving with him. 

Once he’s settled into his perfect spot, you find your place in the crook of his arm, pressing a kiss to the base of his neck. He shivers and you smile. 

He’s pretty sure that you were what life had planned for him. That North Star that guided everything in his life to this moment right here. 

You shuffle closer to his side, your cold feet brushing against his leg. He turns on his side, wrapping both of his arms around you. You place your head under his chin, sighing contently. 

“You know you’re my North Star right?” Dex whispers into the room around you. He’s not sure if you can even hear him. Maybe you’re already asleep. He just needs you to know what you mean to him. 

Your warm breath hits his chest and without moving, you shatter his whole world into a million pieces. 

“You’re my whole damn sky Dex.” 

He cannot sleep for the rest of the night, too scared to close his eyes and have them ripped open in the morning to find you gone. He knows that he is done for when, just as the sun is beginning to peek into the corners of the room, you roll over and into him, and a soft snore releases itself from your mouth. Dex smiles to himself then, and wills the sun to return to its bed, so that he can stay in his with you for just a few moments longer. 

[theladyofmanyfandomsfanfiction]

As Imagined

Pairing: Ben Poindexter x Reader

Warnings: Slight language.

Summary: You decide to bring Ben a quick meal during his busy work day as a security detail for Fisk.

The elevator came to a halt with a familiar ding, gently rocking the floor of the small space. The doors lined with gold parted to reveal a hallway and you stepped into it, carefully balancing the drink holder in one hand and attempting to pull out the visitors pass from your pocket. Once the card was free and in your fingers, you turned left and walked over to the FBI agent standing in front of a large metal detector. 

“State your name and business.” The guard announced as you approached. You presented the card and then the coffee and paper bag. 

“Y/n. Delivering some coffee and bagels to Agent Poindexter because my friend refuses to have lunch.” You smiled. The agent nodded and handed the key card back, extending his other hand to take the beverage from you. 

“I’ll take that in for you.” 

You pulled back and shook your head. “I’d rather give it to him myself.” 

The guard glanced back at where the agents were working and then sighed when he returned to you. 

“With the present threat of Wilson Fisk, we can’t let you in there. There’s a lot of classified intel.” He told you apologetically. 

You squinted at the agent, hoping that your charm could create a small miracle. 

“Can you at least have Dex come out here for a while? He needs a break too.” You wondered. 

The agent paused for a minute and then nodded silently. He instructed that you wait where you stood until he returned with Dex. It didn’t take long. Soon the agent had been replaced with your friend who looked at you quizzically, clearly not expecting a visit. 

“Hey.” He said rather seriously, walking over. “Is everything okay?” 

You nodded and presented the treats. Dex’s concern melted into something softer when he realised why you had come. Taking the coffee, Dex swirled it slightly and looked at you. “You shouldn’t have come here.” He reprimanded. 

You took a sip of your own drink and leaned against the corridor wall, not realising that Dex had absentmindedly mirrored your actions. 

“You should have lunch.” You countered with a smirk. Pulling out a bagel, you passed it over to the agent. Dex took a bite out of it and sipped more of the warm liquid to wash it down. 

You couldn’t help but smile as you watched him and reached up to the injuries on face, gently brushing your fingertips below the scratch on his eyebrow. 

“You’re almost healed.” 

Dex inhaled and leaned into the touch, it was his ultimate weakness. He could abandon the FBI just to have you lying beside him and absentmindedly tracing his hand against your skin.

“Dex?” You chuckled with a small squint. You were trying to bite back a laugh as his behaviour reminded you of a touch-starved puppy. 

“Hmm?”

“Did I lose you?” 

Dex opened his eyes - not realising that he had closed them - and saw you looking back. He always controlled his impulse around you but lately, Dex had been losing control of that too. 

Jerking up and off the wall, Dex accidentally pushed your hand away and cleared his throat. “I - um - I was just...”

“Hey, Poindexter!” His fellow agent called out behind him. “The shitbag’s dressed for lunch.” 

Dex glanced back at his friend. “I’ll be right there.” 

As the agent fell back into the room, Dex heard you clear your throat. 

“I should be off too.” You told him. “I just wanted to make sure you ate and that you’re okay.” 

Dex wanted to say thank you but his words had lodged in his throat. He was so nervous that he just opted to nod in response. You handed him the remainder of the bagels and patted his arms twice before heading over to the open elevator. 

You pressed a button to the lower level and waited for the doors to close. Little did you expect for a hand to pop through and force the doors to open once again. Dex slid inside before you could question him and stepped over to where you stood.

Carefully, he placed a hand over you cheek and moved closer until his lips captured yours. He wasn’t thinking about what he was doing. He was just following his feelings from a few moments ago. 

He honestly didn’t know if his feelings were being reciprocated until your hand grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him close. It was everything he had imagined.

Masterlist here

[prince-septimus]

the sounds that keep you up at night

pairing : benjamin poindexter x reader x matt murdock

summary : you just bought a new apartment next to two of the most handsome men you've ever seen. it doesn't help that they don't seem to know how loud they are.

word count : 1k

warnings : slight nsfw

a cold apartment prequel

Your neighbors are loud. You can't imagine they realize how loud they are, or else maybe they would've stopped being so loud.

It doesn't bug you, not really. Everything about the apartment building you're in is loud — the floorboards all creak, and your sink won't stop leaking. Your fridge is always releasing a noise that is only slightly concerning. The city is loud outside, and you continue to avoid opening your windows to avoid the mayhem of all the noise that you already deal with on a daily basis.

You hear them laughing down the hall together occasionally, their voices intermingling when they pass your front door on their way home from work. Sometimes you can hear them through the vent in your kitchen, chatting about whatever TV show they've been binging recently as the smell of their cooking follows.

But — and you don't know if it has something to do with your bedroom being directly on the other side of the wall of what you presume is also their bedroom, they're loud.

The kind of loud that keeps you up at night, thinking and fantasizing about two people you hardly know.

You had met them once since you moved in — each on different occasions.

Dex, the blond FBI agent who stays up at what seemed to be all hours of the day sometimes. You swore the man lived on two hours of sleep each day. He had stopped the elevator for you once, offering his name and hand when he didn't recognize you.

"You'll like it here, sweetheart," he had told you when you reached the bottom floor, serving a wink before walking away.

And Matt, Dex's dark haired lawyer boyfriend with the red tinted glasses. You hadn't so much talked to Matt as much as you had run into him, not paying attention as you walked down the hall one day and completely crashed into him. It had been embarrassing and entirely your fault, with you offering apologies and Matt making you laugh with a joke about him not watching where he was going.

They both seemed wonderful, and were absolutely gorgeous, but you felt you could never face them again.

It had been a Thursday night the first time, and you couldn't sleep even knowing you had work first thing in the morning. Midnight rolled around all too soon, and you continued to pass the minutes turning your pillow over in an attempt to get comfortable enough to sleep.

When the noise started, you ignored it. Those sounds were not ones meant to be heard by anyone else besides the people involved, and that didn't include you.

But it was difficult — the two men's moans mixing together as they pleasured each other, and the thin wall between your room and their's doing nothing to contain the noise.

You glanced at the clock as your hand slid down your stomach, tracing its way towards your navel as the sounds continued. You let out a small noise of your own when your hand rubbed against yourself, moving quicker and quicker in an attempt to relieve yourself of that pleasure building in your lower stomach.

They're easy to picture, Matt's kind smile and Dex's mischevious eyes. It's easy to paint the image of them in your mind, using it to fuel your pleasure.

You heard Dex moan out Matt's name one last time and you gasp, your hand seizing movement as you came in your underwear. The guilt settles in too quick for your liking, and you move to clean up and change your underwear quickly before settling back into bed.

The moment your head hit the pillow, you slept until your alarm went off hours later.

It wasn't an every night occurance, but often enough for you to start to loathe the two men and the impossibility of getting their noises out of your head. That doesn't stop you from bringing yourself to climax every time you hear them, though, using your fingers or sometimes your pillow as you try to provide some relief from the sounds the two men make.

You avoid them when you can, risking being late to work just to prevent an elevator ride between you and the two of them happening. You can't imagine meeting their eyes after one of those nights.

It's a Thursday when there's a knock on your door, though, and it shocks you. You hadn't spoken to anyone else on your floor, or anyone else in the building in general. You couldn't imagine who it could be.

You should've known karma would come back to get you.

It's Dex and Matt standing there when you open your door, with a plate of cookies held out to you.

Dex grins as you lock eyes, and you try to hide your first reaction the best you can. "These are for you."

"We know you're not one for interaction," Matt notes, "but we wanted to properly introduce ourselves."

The anxiety is building up in you, but you push it down, choosing instead to push your door open, stepping aside. "I have drinks in the kitchen?" you offer.

"Perfect." Dex holds out his arm for Matt to grab onto as he enters your apartment, heading for the kitchen.

You inwardly groan, shoving your anxiety down for just a few more minutes.

You're going to regret this.

[grogunotfound]

pairing ╾ ben poindexter x agent!reader

word count ╾ 2.0k

synopsis ╾ agent poindexter and agent y/n are paired up to take down another drug ring plaguing hell’s kitchen—that is if the two of them are able to work together without ripping each other’s heads off.

warnings ╾ slight angst, a kiss!!!

a/n ╾ enjoy (:

———

Whenever Special Agent in Charge Hattley called you into her office, you were either in trouble or about to find yourself in trouble. Today’s meeting was the latter option because when you walked in, a man was already in there: Special Agent Ben Poindexter.

You mentally groaned before acknowledging him, “Agent.” He didn’t even bother to respond.

“Great, now that you’re both here, I have a special assignment for my two star players.” Hattley swiveled in her chair to pull some files out of her desk. She flipped through the numerous manilla folders and pulled out a lengthy folder. “Alio Johnson AKA Eagle. Major crime boss in Hell’s Kitchen. We gained some intel from our source that there’s going to be a massive drug run later this week, and we need the two of you to stop that and put cuffs on this new drug lord.”

“Where is it going down?” Agent Poindexter spoke up. His voice rasping out of his ever-so injured lips. He let his tongue run across his bottom lip, furrowing his brows as he leaned over the desk to get a closer look at your shared case.

Hattley chuckled, “The Shops at Hudson Yards. I guess they wanted to make it as public as possible to avoid any trouble. I knew the two of you would be perfect to send in because you’re both unassuming. You could easily go undercover and find out what’s going on and cut it at the source. There’s been a lot of action in the underground tunnels and the nearby piers.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, and this is the first time Agent Poindexter has looked at you. His piercing gaze sent chills down your spine. You rocked nervously in your spot, but you didn’t let your anticipation show in front of Hattley. “We’ll get right on it, boss.” You spent a fake smile to your partner before walking back to your desk.

If it wasn’t obvious, you didn’t like Agent Ben Poindexter. He was cold and cocky. You didn’t mesh well with him. The way he worked felt so emotionless and remorseless. You were one for the people, he was one for the mission result—which, in turn, unironically make an effective pairing.

“See you around, partner.” Agent Poindexter walked up to your desk. You continued to log onto your computer. “Agent Y/L/N, we’re going to have to pretend to like each other until this mission is over. You sure you’re capable of that?” He smirked, patting your shoulder as if you were one of his pals or “buddies.”

“Are you sure you’re capable of that?” You retorted, pulling up the same files Hattley just showed you onto your desktop.

“Whatever you say,” he backed away from your desk, his hands in the air, “Don’t blame me.” Another smile crept onto his lips. A small cut decorated the bottom right of his lower lip—you could see it was starting to heal already, noticing the prominent contrast between the softness and rough patches.

You glanced away from him and continued the research about your undercover mission. You let out a frustrated sigh as you continued to show up with nothing. Your evidence-gathering skills was not your strong suit. You liked to be active in the field, using practical skills to solve a problem. You wanted to interact with people, help people. Much to your jealousy, Agent Poindexter turned up pages of details to look through. The man was good at looking into people.

You both reconvened in a nearby meeting room. The thought of him invading your personal office space made you resist letting such negativity into that area. Plus, you weren’t used to being alone with him. Yet, you were going on a partnered mission. Alone. But with him.

“Some freighters have been piling up at Pier 81. We should take a look.” He pointed out, letting his index finger drop on the marked-up map he printed.

You reluctantly nodded, “We probably should.” You had to give him the credit.

Before either of you left the building, you agreed to change into your “civilian” clothes. It was more inconspicuous—Spy 101. You had put on a simple hoodie and leggings combo. When you met up with your partner outside, he had changed into an athletic jacket and sweats.

“Ready, partner?” He asked.

“Sure am, Agent Poindexter.” You took your work hair down and let your natural hair free itself.

He gulped, suddenly riveted on the smell of your shampoo. Agent Ben Poindexter was just upset at this partnering as you were. He thought you didn’t take your job seriously. He also thought you were charming. No matter what, he could hear your laugh resonate throughout the office. It was like bells ringing—the way they bounced around the room. It truly was music to his ears. He liked how you wanted to help people first over the job itself. But that’s always why he despised you. He was jealous. The both of you desperately wanted to connect with people, and you were just better at doing that. He just wanted to belong.

“Call me Dex,” he said. “Don’t want to give anything away, do we?” He tilted his head and gave you that one-sided smile. He let out a laugh and started walking down the street.

“How about Ben? The most boring name in the world shouldn’t call for much attention.” You teased and followed him.

It was a decently cold Thursday morning. Hundreds of pedestrians and cars surrounded the two of you in Hell’s Kitchen. Bicyclists zipped past, creating a stronger breeze with each passerby.

“Okay, Y/N.” He rolled his eyes.

The rest of the walk to the pier was rather peaceful. You were surrounded with people, amazed at the amount of presence that commanded the city. Ben felt rather lonely because everyone minded their own business. And, how could one feel alone in such a crowded city?

You are destined to be alone. The sneers in Ben’s head repeated. His hands curled into fists, aching to take this tension out on something—someone.

“Ben, we’re here.” Your voice snapped Ben out of his trance. The way you talked to him just now was different from usual. You could tell something was bothering him. And, just because you didn’t get along with Ben, didn’t mean that you couldn’t be a decent human being to him. Plus, you were stuck with him for the week. You couldn’t have him messing up the mission. Ben noticed the softness in your voice, something he hasn’t had the pleasure to hear because it was always constant jabs between the two of you. “Ready?”

He nodded in response, choosing to keep the cool-and-collected demeanor he has always adopted. “I’m always ready, Y/N.”

The two of you cautiously watched the people coming in and out of the pier. Sometimes it was someone on a jog, or a family pushing a stroller, but something caught your eye. Two men in all black glanced around the area before pulling the metal fence across the pier’s entrance.

“Ben, they’re closing it, we have to get in.” You pulled at his arm, speedily walking towards the soon-to-be gated entrance.

“Y/N, stop, they’re going to see us.” Ben stopped in his tracks, causing you to ricochet in your own tracks. “We have to lay low.”

You exhaled, looking around for any other covers. Ben approached the fence, looking in to see what was going on. The same two men in black started walking back towards the two of you, “Hey! What are you looking at?”

Ben quickly turned to you, “Quick, they’re coming. We have to do something.”

“Like what?” You hissed, “we should just run.”

“No! They’ve already seen our faces. That would make us more suspicious.” Ben rolled his eyes.

The men in black had their hands on their hips, clearly ready to pull out their firearms if you two were proved dangerous to their mission.

You hesitated and caught sight of a couple making out on a bench alongside the river, “Kiss me.”

“Y/N, this is not the time—” Ben scoffed.

“Just shut up,” you took matters into your own hands and grabbed the collar of Ben’s jacket to pull him closer. Without hesitation, you pressed your lips onto his. Ben reacted quickly, responding to your kiss by placing a hand on your face.

“Nevermind, boss. Just a couple of lovebirds. We’ll retrieve the package now.” One of the opponents chuckled before leaving you and Ben alone.

Never in a billion lifetimes did you think you would be kissing Special Agent Ben Poindexter. Sure, he was good-looking, but he was also smug. You hated how cold he was, and you despised the way he always had a sly look on his face whenever you did something wrong. But, this kiss was different from his usual roughness. He was soft. His lips were soft. Your heartbeat quickened, letting your hands fall from his chest but not breaking the kiss. Ben breathed you in, and neither of you stopped. It was like both of you were hungry for this sort of affection. The tension became unbearable as Ben let his hands fall from your face to your waist. He pulled you closer, pressing his sturdy body against yours.  You didn’t even realize that the two of you were clear until a police siren buzzed past. You fluttered your eyes open, catching sight of how close Ben’s face was to yours. You abrupt ended the kiss, “I think we’re good.”

Ben’s mouth was agape, clearly not expecting you to pull away. He awkwardly cleared his throat, “Yeah, yeah. We’re clear.”

The two of you stood in awkward silence, unsure of what the next move was. You peered over past the gate and realized that the men had disappeared. “Shit,” you cursed and began walking away.

“Y/N,” Ben called out to you. “What?”

“We fucked up the mission.” You shook your head. “You’re gonna be the one to tell Hattley. You just have to control every little thing, don’t you?”

Ben looked at you in disbelief, “First of all, you were the one who kissed me. You distracted me. And, secondly, what just happened? We know that the shipment isn’t supposed to come for another day. We were just scoping out the area. Y/N, it’s not that serious.”

You let out a cry, “Yes, it is that serious! I cannot afford to lose this job. I need to prove my worth that I belong here.” You found a seat nearby, sulking into the cold metal.

Ben hesitantly sat next to you. He was quiet. Speechless. After what felt like hours, he spoke up, “I..I don’t hate you, you know.”

You wiped your face before looking at him, “what?”

He smirked, “you’re seriously not going to make me repeat that.”

You ignored his remark, “I know, I just..that caught me off guard.”

“I’m a very loving person, in fact.” He smiled.

You laughed, “Sure. You were very loving just a few minutes ago.”

“Okay, remember, you kissed me first.”

“To disguise us!”

“Sure, that’s a good excuse.” Ben looked down at the ground. “I guess, what I’m trying to say..is I think we’ll make a good team. And, I know that you are worthy of being here. So..” His voice drifted off as he fiddled with his fingers to hide his nervousness.

You sniffled, “Thanks, Ben. And, for the record, I don’t hate you either. I admire your commitment.”

“Thanks, Y/N. Maybe we should kiss more often.” He casually smirked, letting it transform into a smile.

“Whoa, easy there, cowboy. At least buy me lunch first. I’m starving.” You laughed. Ben stood up and held out his hand for you to grab. Without hesitation, you gladly accepted it and stood up beside him.

“See?” Ben exhaled and draped one of his arms around your shoulder, “I knew we’d make a good team, partner.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get too comfortable.”

[amberlynnmurdock]

The Good In You (Chapter 1)

Pairing: Benjamin 'Dex' Poindexter x Reader

Series Summary: She's the new in-house nurse at the FBI headquarters in Manhattan. The only time she ever interacts with the agents is when she's stitching up their wounds. She's gotten to know almost all of them in this way, but there's one agent who's been harder to get to know. The other agents say what they want about Special Agent Poindexter, but she'll never speak negatively of him. Eventually, she does get to know him; she does get to know the good in him. At least for as long as the good lasts.

Genres: fluff, super angst, betrayal, reader wants Dex to be good so bad

A/N: Dex has got to be the most complex character to write lol, but it's so much fun. This idea dawned on me recently and I had to get it out there. I hope you like it! :)

Words: 3.5k

Ao3 Link

It wasn’t often FBI agents needed tending to their wounds because often they could get the job done without a scratch. Still, the FBI headquarters in Manhattan needed a resident nurse for when some agents got banged up, and that nurse was her. 

She liked being a nurse at the FBI—believe it or not, it paid more than her previous job at Metro-General and it was up her alley to be working specifically with the FBI. She hated when her manager at Metro told her she’d yet again be switching departments, meaning she’d have to find a new way to commute to the hospital since it was so large and had different entrances. It was also hard to build a relationship with the patients there since she was often switched because the hospital couldn’t keep its shit together. Why get so attached to tending to the same patient almost every day, just for one day she'd be told she’d never be able to see them again? 

It took a toll on her since she was the type of person to get attached to people she cared about. She may not have known her patients for a long time, but the time she spent with them was precious. These people were sick or injured, and they leaned on her not only to help them, but to have someone to talk to when their family couldn’t make it on any particular day. 

So one day, she asked yourself, what’s the use? What’s the use in getting attached and being taken away so easily? What’s the use in letting the hospital treat her relationships with her patients as disposable? 

When she saw the open position for a nurse at the FBI, she hoped she’d at least be dealing with the same agents now and then. So far, she has. No more switching around—no more connections being cut for no reason. 

Being here almost six months, she’s come to know many of the agents. Many of them had families, some were new to the job—and for some, all they had was this job. Despite the only time she’d see these agents was when they were hurt, she looked forward to catching up with them in her exam room as she stitched up or cleaned their wounds.

Ray Nadeem is one of the agents who has a family. When it was Ray she had to tend to, she knew her time with him would be pleasant. He was—no pun intended—a ray of sunshine. A sweet family man, who truly cared about his job and justice. 

Ray is in her exam room today. Not for anything serious. A bunch of agents responded to a complaint downtown—gang members fighting at a liquor store. Truthfully, not the worst she’s heard them be called for. The FBI normally had everything under control in situations like that. Ray had a few scratches on his face, and he was pushed into an aisle of white wine. She could smell the wine on his jacket. She already checked for broken glass. She was now tending to the cut on his cheekbone. 

“Was it bad?” She asked him. 

Ray shook his head. “Not really. We apprehended them pretty quickly. We had enough agents there.”

“That’s good,” she said, focusing on cleansing the wound. “Early night at least.”

“Yeah,” Ray sighed, “just in time for me to tuck Sammy into bed.”

Her heart melted at the mention of his son. No amount of cuts on his face could keep Ray from smiling whenever he brought up his son. 

“How is Sammy doing? Is he going to try out for any sports this fall?” She asked. 

“Maybe soccer. He’s more interested in spring sports, like baseball.”

“Ah,” she smiled. “I’ve always found that more fun, too. Spring in general.”

“Yeah,” Ray sighed, again. A sigh she’s come to know as regretful, these past few months getting to know him. “Just wish I was able to surprise him in the spring with the pool he’s been begging for.”

“I’ve only been here a few months, and I know you’re due for a promotion,” she said knowingly. “It’s only September. Anything can happen in the next few months,” a hopeful tone laced in her voice. She didn’t have a license in therapy, but sometimes the agents treated her as such. She didn’t mind, though. 

“I hope so,” Ray said, exasperated. “Thanks, though. For fixing me up,” he pointed to the bandage she just finished putting on his face. “You make me look less scary coming home to Sammy.”

She wanted to laugh, but she stopped herself. It must be hard being an agent, working a daunting job, and coming home to a family like they don’t risk their life every day at work. Instead, she smiles softly at Ray. 

“Thankfully, there wasn’t much to clean up. Just a check-up, I say. Get home safe, Ray.”

“You too,” Ray said, standing up from the exam table. “You going home after this?”

“Hopefully before 10,” she glanced out the window that showed a completely dark sky. One of the perks of working at the FBI, they offered her a service to get her home safely so she didn’t have to worry about going home alone. At night, as a young woman in this city, walking home could be dangerous. 

“Good,” Ray said. “You deserve sleep just as much as we do. Everyone appreciates you being here. I hope you know that.” 

She smiled. “I’m happy to be here.”

“Night, __,” Ray said. “I’ll be sure to tell Sammy you said hi.”

“Please do.”

With one last reassuring nod, Ray left her room. She quickly filled out his file on the computer and checked off the remaining boxes: no head trauma, no serious injuries, no broken bones, no concussion. Just a good old-fashioned cleaning and bandaging. 

A knock on the door brings her out of her focus on the screen. 

“Come in,” she called, not looking to see who it was. By how the door was carefully opened and carefully shut, she felt the person was hesitant in their movements. 

“I’m sorry,” Special Agent Poindexter said. “I can come in when you’re ready.”

She swirled around in her chair to face him immediately. It wasn’t often Dex said much to her, so on the rare occasion he does decide to speak to her, she’s fully paying attention to what he has to say. 

“It’s okay, I was just finishing up,” she stood from her chair. She could see now that his forehead was dripping blood from a cut, and he was attempting to absorb it with the rough paper towels from the bathroom. This indicates why he opened the door to come in—he needed help now. “I’m sorry, Dex. Please sit.”

While she quickly washed her hands, Dex awkwardly shuffled to the exam table and propped himself up on it, holding the paper towel to his forehead. He’s covering half his face and his gaze is away from her, like it always was when it was his turn to be tended to. His dirty blonde hair was pushed to the side. The veins on his hand were prominent. 

“May I?” She asked him first, indicating she wanted to take away the paper towel to begin cleaning his wounds. He only offers her a small nod. 

Dex was hard to figure out—he wasn't like the other agents she’s tended to. He was quiet. Stoic. He wasn’t rude, but he also didn’t go out of his way to make conversation. That was fine by her. She never wanted anyone in her exam room to be uncomfortable or pressured to talk—these agents worked a hard enough job already. They can’t always be at 100% all the time. She just could never tell if Dex was or not. She chalked it up to him being super serious about work. He’s in, and then he’s out. Sometimes, she's tried for conversation, but it was always hit or miss. 

“This may sting,” she says gently. It’s something she says all the time to him, just to fill the silence between them. He faintly nods. His gaze stays away from her. She gently presses the alcohol-absorbed cotton pad over his wound. Ever so slightly his jaw clenches at the contact and he takes a small intake of breath. He shuts his eyes until the sting goes away. 

“I’m sorry,” she dabs on it again. “Just one more. It’s a deep cut.”

“It’s alright,” Dex reassures her. “You can do what you need to.”

Maybe it was a good thing Dex didn’t talk to her so much when he was here—his voice was deep, a hint of a New York accent. And his speaking so closely to her made it hard to concentrate on the task at hand. Now it was her turn to keep quiet. 

She dabbed at his wounds until the bleeding stopped. She grabbed fresh bandages and patched them up. 

“I have to ask you some questions,” she said carefully, feeling nervous for some reason. Dex had his full attention on her now, his gaze no longer hidden. An unreadable expression on his face. 

“Did you hit your head?”

“No.”

“Does your body hurt anywhere else?”

“No.”

“Is your vision blurred?”

“No.”

“Alright,” she nodded. “Otherwise, was tonight an okay night?”

Dex shifted on the exam table. “Yeah, it was fine. Easier than most.”

“Good,” she smiled. “Well, if nothing else hurts, then you’re free to go.”

“Thank you, __,” Dex says, and she realizes it's the first time he’s spoken her name. For a while there, she wondered if he ever cared to remember it. Maybe he was the type to have to warm up to someone first before he started a working relationship. That's alright—in a lot of ways, she was the same. “I appreciate it.”

And there it was again—another sentence from the agent she thought didn’t like her for the longest time. Sometimes the agents spoke of Dex in passing to her—saying the job went smoothly, save for Dex who was always too willing to go the extra mile when he didn’t need to. She never engaged in negative talk about him or anyone at the Bureau. She respected all their work. Everyone handles this job differently. Dex handles it in his way: by keeping to himself and keeping the conversation at a minimum. 

“You’re welcome,” she smiled. Dex offered a hint of a smile as he got up from the exam table. 

“Guess you can go home now?” Dex asks. He’s standing close to her as she crosses her arms, in an attempt to not appear nervous by the way he's looking at her. She's delighted at the attempts at conversation he’s finally making. 

“Yeah, you were the last agent I needed to see.”

“I’m sorry for keeping you,” he says, brows furrowed. 

“Don't be sorry. It’s my job,” she reasoned. “I like being here when I’m needed.”

Dex sighs; he looks tired. Despite his tiredness, she couldn’t deny how handsome he looked, even in the harsh fluorescent lighting of the room. 

“Night, Dex. Get home safe.”

“You too.” 

***

Another night of tending to wounded FBI agents. This time, the wounds weren’t as simple. Some of them got really banged up—stitches were required this time. She was hyper-focused on the stitching she had to do on Ray on his left shoulder. He had his sleeve hanging off his shoulder and sat stiffly on the exam table, holding his breath at every movement. 

“Not a good night, huh?” She asked. 

“No,” Ray shook his head. “Not the worst, but I’ve had better.”

“Good thing the bullet was just a graze,” she reasoned, finishing up the last of his stitching. “Alright. You need to take it easy with that arm this weekend.”

“Will do,” Ray nodded. “Good thing I can hide this from Sammy with long sleeves. I hate to see him worrying about me.”

“I know,” she sighed. She got up to take off her gloves and wash her hands. She undid her hair in her claw clip and brushed it before twisting it up again. “It must be hard. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Ray shook his head. “Part of the job. Anyways, got any fun plans this weekend?”

“Not really,” she leaned against the counter and crossed your arms. “Catching up on sleep, probably.” It was already nearly midnight at the Bureau. “You?”

“Taking Sammy to the zoo with his friends,” Ray said. “Should be fun.”

“It will be. I’ll see you Monday, Ray.”

Ray slides his jacket on and exits her exam room. She washes your hands again before preparing for the next—and final—agent she has to stitch up. Of course, it was Dex. He was always the last to be seen. Of all the agents, he managed to always get hurt the least. 

Dex is waiting patiently on the chair outside her exam room, anticipating his turn to see her. He enjoyed being around her because he didn’t have to pretend to be anyone—didn’t have to pretend the job was hard. All these men and women around him had families to come home to, or they had someone waiting at home for them. That’s what made it hard for them. Dex didn’t have anyone. That’s what made it so easy. 

And his fellow agents could never understand his nonchalantness about it all. He didn’t care. That was on them. He only got checked out by her because he had to—it was a requirement that all agents see the nurse before heading home after a task. Truthfully, he didn’t need to see her. Perhaps he just wanted to. 

“Dex?” She calls his name, pulling him from his thoughts. Dex is slouched in the chair, but he perks up when he hears her say his name. She leaves the door open and he closes it behind him when he enters her exam room. 

Her hair is up—he often wondered what it would look like if it were down. He's never seen her look casual before. Always in scrubs, always hair pushed back. Her scrubs were dark navy blue to match his FBI jacket, with a small FBI logo near her left shoulder. A piece of her hair falls to the front of her face, slightly framing it. He doesn’t blush, but he thinks she looks pretty. Really pretty. And tired, just like him. 

Dex takes his seat naturally on the exam table. She grabs her stethoscope and raises her hands to touch his face, but stops. 

“May I?” She asks, like she always did. Dex nods and looks away from her gaze. It was easier to get through these visits if he wasn’t looking at her. He feels her fingertips gently hold his face to get a better look at his wounds that don’t hurt that much. 

“Well, they’re not bad. Not bad at all,” she says, unsure if she is saying it out loud for herself or for him to know as well. He didn’t care if he was hurt. “Definitely will need cleaning though. But let me make sure your heart is all good and your head is fine.”

“It’s fine,” Dex reassures her, but he knows it’s no use. 

“I still have to check,” she gives a small smile. He nods in understanding. She places the stethoscope on his back and asks him to breathe deeply three times, which he does. Everything sounds good, she says. She then places her fingers on his head, searching for any bumps or bruises. He closes his eyes at this—truthfully, if he had a favorite part, this was it. For a moment, the thoughts that swarmed in his head were quieted when he felt her fingers trace over his head. It was hypnotizing almost, a trance he never wanted to snap out of. 

And when her hands disappeared, he was brought to reality. 

“All good,” she says softly. “I’ll clean up your wounds and you’ll be out of here before you know it.”

“You don’t have to rush,” Dex tells her. “I don’t need to be anywhere.”

“On a Friday night?” She questions with a smile as she cleans her hands at the sink. He knows she’s being nice, but truthfully he didn’t have anywhere to be. Just home. If he could even call it that. 

“Yeah,” he laughs half-heartedly, an attempt to match her attitude. “Got no plans for Friday.”

“Same here,” she sighs as she puts on the periwinkle-colored gloves. “My plans are sleep and more sleep.”

This time Dex laughs—really laughs—because he agrees. He hasn’t been getting much sleep lately, despite how tired all the time he feels. “I get that,” Dex nods. He relaxes a little bit more on the exam table. 

She dabs the cotton pad in alcohol and lets it dry before she places it on his wounds. There’s a cut on his forehead, right cheekbone and a little wound on his jawline. She opens her mouth to speak, but Dex cuts her off. 

“I know it’ll sting,” he says gently. “It’s fine.” 

She smiles sheepishly, “I do give that warning a lot, huh?”

“It’s alright,” Dex shrugs. “It’s nice to be warned of pain before it happens. That’s not always the case.”

“How—“ she begins, furrowing her eyebrows. Contemplating the wording of her question. “How do you brace yourself? For all this? This job?” 

Dex sighs. It wasn’t an easy question to answer, because he truthfully didn’t have an answer. Most agents would probably chalk it up to it being part of the job, but it wasn’t that simple for Dex. It… was just a job. If he got hurt, he got hurt. There was nothing else to it. No one would be upset if he got hurt—no one would cry for him. 

Plus, the other part of it, despite it sounding cocky… it was rare Dex ever got hurt in the line of battle. He was a sniper—he was part of the SWAT unit. He was the one who did the hurting. He was the one who used lethal force. It was rare he ever missed. 

“Mindset is everything,” Dex says anyway. “I know what I have to do. I have a job to do.”

“That makes sense,” she says, believing him. “I mean, if it makes you or any of the agents feel better, despite this being my job—it doesn’t make it any easier seeing you guys hurt like this.”

“It doesn’t?” Dex questions. 

“Of course not,” she said. “I’ve… gotten to know a lot of you over the past few months being here. A lot of these agents have families. A wife or husband to come home to. They open up about that a lot. There are other ways to be hurt than just having physical wounds.”

Dex takes in what she’s saying. He swallows hard. 

“It’s just me,” Dex tells her. “I’ve only got me to worry about me. That’s why it’s easier for me to come in and do what I need to do.” 

As she listens to him say this, a thought pings in her head. She noticed on the file she has on him that he didn’t have any relatives listed as an emergency contact. Ray had his wife, Hattley her husband—all the other agents had someone listed. But Dex had no one listed as an emergency contact. She knew he wasn’t being sheepish when he said he was all he had—it was the truth. Sad, but true. 

She doesn’t say anything in return. She continues to clean his wounds and bandage him up in silence—comfortable silence, for once. Dex’s eyes remain looking at the floor as she works her fingers around his temple. She gently lifts his chin with her fingers to get a better angle at the cut on his jaw—his jawline that appears to have been sculpted by the Gods. Being this close to him, she got a whiff of the faint smell of his cologne, now mixed with the smell of sweat. With one last check on his face, she tells him she’s done. 

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” She asks him, leaning against the counter and facing him. 

Dex rises from the exam table and circles his shoulder to stretch. “No. I’m fine.”

“Alright well,” she sighs, feeling somewhat shy by the way he’s looking at her, giving her his full attention. “Get home safe, Dex.”

“You, too, __,” Dex breathes out. “And thank you. I don’t know if I say that enough.”

“It’s alright—no need.”

With a small smile, Dex is almost on his way out of her exam room—until he hears her call his name under her breath. 

“Dex,” she says, hesitant with her words. “Don’t take this the wrong way. But you’re not all you have. You’re not alone. You’ve got me now to be worried about you,” she tells him, offering a genuine smile. 

Dex looks away from her, stumped by her words. Regardless if she really meant it or not—it was nice for him to hear. Nice to know that he could be wrong about something he’s always firmly believed. 

He doesn’t say anything in return. He holds her gaze for a few moments, holds her smile, and puts it to his memory. He smiles back. And then he leaves. Maybe he would get some good sleep tonight, knowing someone worried about him. 

[everlastingdreams]

Dex X Reader: Sugar Crush Chapter 28

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Notes:

Summary: Reader moves into the same building as one Agent Poindexter. A bond starts to grow between them. Can the reader move on after a traumatic past ‘relationship’ ?

Chapter: 28/28

Trigger Warning: Mentions of physical and emotional abuse ! YES this one will come with trigger warnings. I tried not to post too much into detail stuff but this entire thing comes with a trigger warning !

Word Count:  1742 words

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dex sat in the emergency room, waiting for news. He didn't know how long he had been there, minutes, hours..

It felt like days. Like eternity. But at the seem time it felt like time had stopped to exist. The voices screaming in his head, whispers crawled their way through the screams. He held his head in his hands as he tried to breath.

A voice broke through his train of thought. He looked up for only a second to see that Ally stood there, next to her an older woman.

Ally said something to to woman before she walked up to Dex and plopped down in the chair next to him.

“Any news yet ?” she sounded as tired as he was.

He just shook his head.

“Grandma brought me here. The FBI wants to talk to me again about what happened.” Ally tried to get a conversation.

“Just tell them what you know. It will be fine, kid.” he told her.

“I wanted to help her.. looks like I ended up being the one to get her killed.” Ally looked down at her feet.

Dex looked at her now “She's not dead.” not yet, he thought to himself “And you didn't cause this, kid. Reed shot her. (y/n) just..”

“Yeah... she always helps everyone.” she said quietly “She was trying to escape when I bumped into her. She told me something.. something involving you.”

Dex looked at her with interest “What did she say ?”

“She said Wilson Fisk told Reed where she was, Fisk wanted her dead because she knows you.” Ally explained.

Dex looked away from her as he processed the new information. Fisk had tried to twist his mind, tried to get him to believe that society would never accept someone like him. He didn't believe one word of the bullshit he was trying to sell him, in the past he might have but since meeting you he was more confident. Fisk must have found out about your existence, must have seen you as a block in his plans.

“She said that ?” Dex asked Ally for confirmation.

Ally nodded “ What does Fisk want with you ?”

Dex didn't answer as he stood up from the chair, ignoring her question “Will you and your grandmother stay here ? I'll be back soon.”

Ally looked at him suspiciously “Yeah.. but.. what are you going to do ?”

“Just.. stay. Please ? ” he kept his voice in control “And uh... let's keep this information between us, alright ?”

“Okay..” Ally watched him walk away, unaware of his intentions.

O o o o o oo OOO Oooo o o o o o oo ooo OO oo o oOO OoO O O Oo O O oOO O oo

Light made it's way to your eyes when you opened them and you groaned at the sight, you already felt dizzy.

Ally jumped up from the chair and placed her hands on your arm excitedly “Oh my god ! I thought you were dead.”

You couldn't believe Ally was alive, you wondered if you had died.

“But... Shaw.. he shot you..” your head was hurting with questions.

She quickly shook her head “No ! No, the fed shot that asshole. He's dead.”

“DEX?!” you asked in shock not knowing how to interprent that.

“What ? OH NO I MEAN SHAW. Shaw is dead. Dex shot him. He saved us, well the FBI showed up as well because I borrowed some stuff from that Nadeem guy and guess he was salty..” she trailed off.

“Borrowed, huh ?” you picked up on that “ You stole from a federal agent ?”

She shrugged her shoulders “At least it got their attention. And maybe they figured that I would try and help you. Could be why they showed up.”

You tried to sit up in the bed but winced in pain when you did “Ah shit.” your hand went to your side.

“Oh yeah. And you got shot.” she stated the obvious.

“Gross.” you said and she let out a laugh.

“It looked worse with all the blood though. The fed almost lost it, he prevented you from bleeding out.” Ally sat down on the side of the bed now. “I thought you were going to die. So did he. He doesn't know you're awake yet. He left a while ago. I thought he'd be back by morning but..”

You couldn't imagine what Dex must have been through when he found you bleeding out on the ground. He had saved you, you would have bled out without him.

“I'm sure he'll be here soon, looks like he's pretty in love with you.” Ally tried to lift your spirits.

You nodded and gave a small smile “You said your dad was shot ? Did he...” you left the question open.

She shook her head “No. He uh.. he woke up. The doctor's say that it'll be a while before he will be back to normal. I'm staying with my grandma Nancy in the meantime.”

Your eyes widened “Nancy is your grandmother ? Bob... damnit.. Shaw destroyed everything.”

“Not everything.” Ally corrected you and you took her hand, giving it a squeeze.

A knock on the door made Ally jump of the bed, before someone would enter.

Your heart skipped a beat when you saw who it was. Even in his tired state he still stole your heart.

“Dex !” you smiled brightly. He seemed amazed that you were awake, or alive even.

He took two big paces and he was by your side “(y/n) ! You scared the hell out of me.” his hand cupped your cheek before he placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Well, in case you need me.” Ally pointed to the door “I'll be outside.” she said as she walked to the door.

“I thought...” Dex pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath “I thought I was too late..”

You shook your head as you grabbed hold of his hand and brushed your thumb over it “None of this was your fault, Dex. On the contrary you and Ally... you saved me. I thought I wasn't going to survive this time. That Shaw would have dragged me to the other side of the world, that the nightmare would start all over again..”

"I'd never let that happen. I would never let him get away. Even if it took me all my life." he was serious as he said it "Besides, you're the only one who has the recipe to those waffles."

You breathed and laughed lightly at his comment "Yeah. I'm still taking that to my grave, Dex."

He nodded "I know. But not anytime soon.”

You knew you still had to tell him what Shaw had told you “Dex.. he told me something while I was with him in the house.”

Dex raised a brow as he waited for you to speak.

“He told me Wilson Fisk wanted me dead, that me being alive and around you was a torn in Fisk's plan. I've only heard Shaw mention Fisk once before.. he did some dirty work for him. Why is Fisk doing this ?”

Dex avoided your eyes, suddenly becoming nervous “He..uh.. he tried to make me believe things.”

“What kind of things ?” you pressed the question.

Dex shook his head as he took hold of your hand with his own “He wanted me to believe that society would never accept someone like me.”

You let out a breath, he looked so tired “He's wrong, Dex. I know you, I know that there is so much more to you then what you believe. You told me I was special to you.” he looked at you now “But you are special to me too.” you smiled at him.

He let out a soft chuckle, his features softening “You don't have to be afraid anymore. He'll never hurt you or threaten you again.”

You were confused now, had the FBI found out about Fisk's plans already ? Had they moved him back to prison ? “Did Ally tell you this already ? Does this mean Fisk is back in prison ?”

He avoided your gaze again and this time you took note of it “He was found dead this morning. You're safe now.”

The way he said it, cold, emotionless.. you knew.

“Dead ?” you repeated his words.

He gave a nod “They found him in the penthouse. They have no leads, but a guy like that had many enemies.”

You just nodded.

You knew.

“When did it happen ?” you asked.

“Couple of hours ago.” he answered and looked at you.

He knew that you knew.

You squeezed his hand “Guess the city, or even the world is now safer without him or Shaw in it.”

Dex smiled for a second before he cleared his throat “The FBI still wants to take your statement about Shaw. Ally's too.”

“I'll make sure to help her remember the important things.” you told him, hinting at the fact that you sure ass hell weren't going to sell him out.

“She's a smart kid.” He said with a smirk.

“Was that a compliment ? I should tell her that.” you joked and he almost rolled his eyes.

He chuckles “Smart apart from the fact that she stole from Ray.”

“Well, technically that does make her smart. She was able to borrow things out of his pocket unnoticed.” your voice was sarcastic.

He smirked at you “Since when do you support thieves ?” a playfull glint in his eyes.

“Since they save my life.” you shrugged your shoulders and giggled. “Sometimes we have to do something bad, sometimes it's the only option to stay safe. As long as we don't start to see it as the only way, there is still hope.” your words were heavy, Dex must have understood way you had said it as he nodded in agreement. “I won't give up on you. I see the good in you.”

His eyes were soft and for a moment he looked so peacefull. He leaned closer to you and his lips brushed against yours.

“I love you.” it was as if the words had escaped him, as if they were hanging on his lips ready to be spoken. There was still uncertainty in his eyes when he looked at you.

You could only smile brightly “I love you too.”

Tag list for this series (let me know if you want to be added or removed from the list :) ) :

@givemeabite @aquietfortitudeandstrength @missminx1993 @fuchsiagrasshopper@legion-18 @love-mia-marisol @star-spangled-man @bilson-bethel @peterbxrnes@burningmusicmachine @xxemoluverxx @queenselana @superflashvengers@marvelmayo @qrangcr

[kilyra]

Make it up to You

Special Agent Benjamin Poindexter/Bullseye (Daredevil) One-Shot

A/N: I got an anon request for a scenario where Dex and reader are secretly dating and Ray ends up walking in on them making out.

To my great fortune, seeing this prompt inspired the talented @suitsofwo3 who graciously provided me with some of the steamy bits to work into the story. I LOVE it when she gets inspired like that because saucy bits are a bit of a challenge for me so her help guides me greatly!

Warnings: PG13 bits...well maybe PG14? Well, it’s all over the clothes but still pretty fun haha. No bad language and it’s spoiler-free. 

Sitting back from your screen, you rubbed your fingers over your eyes, trying to give them a break. They were so dry and everything was getting blurry. Sighing, you looked at the clock on your phone and realized how late in the day it was.

That explained it.

Grabbing some change out of your purse, you decided to head over to the vending machine and take a small break. But, as though you were being watched, the phone rang before you got away. Conference Room 12 blinked on the display. “Yeah?”

“Isn’t that the most pleasant way to answer a phone?” It was Dex.

Your heart fluttered at his voice, but you caught your breath before you gasped as you glanced around. No one seemed to take notice. Clearing your throat, you forced yourself to continue sounding unimpressed. “Always. What’s up?”

“I need your help. Can you bring your laptop and meet me down here?” There was an air of authority in his tone – he wasn’t really asking.

“I was just about to take a break, I’m starving.” You sighed as you sat back down and started gathering your laptop from the drawer. You were trying to act natural, but you had no idea he was in the building and were totally caught off guard.

“Sure. I’ll just tell the criminals to press pause on their activities then. No problem.”

Rolling your eyes you glanced over and saw one of the other admins chuckling and shaking her head at you. You smiled back. “Yeah, the thing is, I’m not your secretary.”

“No, but you’re admin and this will go a lot faster for us with your help. Do I really have to pull rank?”

His voice carried over the phone as did his harsh tone. The fellow admin dropped her gaze. Although everyone understood they were all on the same team, the whole them vs us dynamic was hard to defeat in any workplace. "Fine. I'll be right there."

As you hurried down the hall, you wondered if he really was upset. When you realized it was him, you assumed it was a rouse just to get in the same room together, but his tone made you doubt.

The worries vanished when you entered the conference room and found Dex leaning against the long table, a small smile just reaching the corner of his lips. He was still in his bulletproof FBI vest, but you were so distracted by his expression that you missed the tiny specks of blood smattering the white FBI letters.

Arching his eyebrow, he tilted his head, “Not my secretary, huh?”

Closing the door, you stepped over to the table to set down your laptop. "Well…I'm not. Did you actually need something?”

Silently, he shook his head and stood up. Leaning over you, he put one hand on your arm as he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

That was new, Dex wasn’t usually so…soft. It made you nervous.

“What’s wrong?”

Smirking, he narrowed his eyes. “I just wanted to see you, why does there have to be something wrong?”

Crossing your arms, you mimic his narrowed eyes and quietly watched him.

Glancing away, he finally nodded. “Alright, I get it. Nothing’s wrong, but I won’t be home until late tonight. Our new case…things went sideways and I don’t know when I’m going to get out of here today.”

His eyes kept flickering between you and the door.

Dropping your arms, you tried to hold back your sigh. “Ah. That's no problem, I understand.”

In truth, it stung. You understood how important his work was and it was bound to pull him away. But things had been so hectic, and all you wanted was the quiet night in that was repeatedly rescheduled.

The disappointment must have been clear on your face as Dex's eyebrows quickly flicked upward while he took a step closer. “Our plans have been interrupted a lot lately and I know it's hard. Really hard. But I'll make it up to you, I promise.”

“You're not doing it on purpose, Dex. You don't have to...”

Your words died away as Dex's hands moved to your hips in his bid to comfort you. Although you tried to finish talking, your heart started to race from the way he looked at you. His eyes trailed from yours, down to your lips and slowly back up again. Gently he pushed you back against the table.

He was so close you could feel his breath lightly brushing over your skin. He was standing too close for work, but you didn't want him to move. Looking up into his hazel eyes, they seemed to grow darker as he intently stared down at you.

Resting a hand on either arm, you gently squeezed his biceps trying to...reassure him? Brace yourself? “Really, Dex, it's ok-”

Cutting you off, his lips came crashing down on yours, catching your unfinished sentence in his mouth. Surprised, your hands clenched, and you grabbed handfuls of his shirtsleeves as he stepped closer and pressed himself against you.

At first, he was gentle, his lips softly moving against your own, urging you to give in. As he pulled you flush against his body, the bulletproof vest dug into you ever so slightly. You knew you should stop; it was the wrong place to do this, but you stayed rigid, kissing him deeper.

As his grip on your hips intensified, his fingers dug into your skin while his tongue slid into your mouth, demanding more. You were torn between pleasure and pain, something that only seemed to happen with Dex. Soon, you found your hand snaking up the back of his neck to tug on his hair as you used your other to steady yourself on his chest.

A small moan escaped your mouth and Dex firmly pressed his fingers into your hips - silent command for you to stay quiet.

Pulling away, you let out a shaky breath before he brought his hand up to the side of your face, tilting your head back to continue the kiss. He wasn't giving you a break.

Clutching the edge of his vest, you held tight as you started wrapping your leg around his, raising it higher. Taking the hint, Dex reached down and smoothly lifted both legs to settle around his hips as he set you on the table. The shift pushed your skirt high on your thighs, leaving you incredibly close to exposing yourself right there in the conference room.

His hand roamed up your legs, settling against your lower back and dragging you to the edge of the table as he leaned into you. Tugging his hair harder, you rolled your hips and started grinding yourself against him. Matching your movements, he pressed into you, growing hard against his confining clothes. Pausing, he was the one taking an unsteady breath.

And then the door flew open.

Gasping, you pulled away, trying to scoot back on the table and extract yourself from his grip. But Dex firmly held you still, which was the only thing that stopped you from flashing whoever was in the doorway.

“Uh...oh...I didn't realize anyone was in here.” Ray's shocked voice permeated the room.

Heat crept up your neck, setting your cheeks on fire as you buried your face in Dex's shoulder. When he spoke, you felt the rumble in his chest. “Congratulations. Get out.”

Cracking your eyes open, you glanced past Dex to see Ray fumbling with the door handle as he tried to both avert his stare and keep the door from opening too wide. “D-does HR know?”

“Get. Out.” Dex's voice was dangerously low as he refused to look back at the door.

Nodding, Ray's gaze dropped to the floor after he made brief eye contact with you. “Yeah..sure. But there's a meeting here in ten minutes so...”

Ray didn't finish his sentence before he firmly closed the door.

Dex's jaw flexed as he stepped back and helped you off the table. After you straightened your clothes, you looked back up at him. "I guess I'll go get my snack now?"

As he glanced down, he suddenly laughed, rubbing his hands over his face. You couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle as he draped an arm around your shoulders and lightly kissed the top of your head. “I'll make this up to you too, I promise.”

[capsironunderoos]

Tell me what to post!

I have a few stories I could post tonight, but I’m not sure which one I should choose! So, I’m gonna give a little list and a quick summary for each character story and let you guys choose! If I don’t get any responses I’ll just choose and post. But! If I get a lot, I’ll post the most popular either tonight or tomorrow, and the next popular either tomorrow or Tuesday, depending on when I see responses.

Linens and Lemons - Din Djarin / The Mandalorian

Din comes home from running errands and discovers that it’s bath day. Very domestic, very fluffy. 

The Commander and Her Captain - Captain Rex (The Clone Wars)

The reader is a padawan sent on a mission with the 501st to find her missing master. Rex and the reader grow close. The start of a series. 

Mornin’ - Jack Daniels / Agent Whiskey

Agent Moonshine (the reader) and Agent Whiskey share a morning in bed.

Okay - Ben Poindexter (Daredevil)

Ben comes home late to find the reader already asleep.

Sweetheart - Agent Holden Ford (Mindhunter)

Holden meets his hotel room neighbor while he’s on assignment in Georgia.

Five Minutes - Eggsy Unwin  

Eggsy gets a suspicious call from the reader who’s on assignment.

Padawan - Obi Wan Kenobi

Qui-Gon takes on another padawan and Obi-Wan catches feelings. 

The Blue Robe - Sherlock Holmes 

The reader can’t sleep, but lucky for her, neither can Sherlock. 

[fuchsiagrasshopper]

I Watch You

Benjamin Poindexter x Reader

No Warnings| Wordcount 1.6K

AN: First actual reader one shot. I may be open to requests for this fandom after posting this, as I would like to do more one-shots, and maybe some follow-ups if readers like a certain idea. 

The world stopped moving when it was night, at least when Dex was inside of his apartment. The speed of the city disappeared the moment his door closed behind him. The rigid structure his job provided was necessary, but the stillness of the dark in his room was welcome. He inhaled slowly, afraid even the sound of his breathing would disturb the quiet he had worked so hard to keep. It had become a new routine before Dex went to bed. He would watch the window in the building across from his. Watch you as you went about the mundane in your life, and not wanting to miss a moment of it.

Dex had the lights turned off in his room, so you could never make him out across the dark. You were the night owl to his early riser. It was eleven at night, and you were still curled into the arm of your sofa. He could make out the glow of the television on your face. Sometimes you would turn away, either distracted by your phone or the Irish Setter next to you. You'd named your dog Bandit, as Dex recalled hearing when you took him out to walk at the park. It had happened on occasion, you would pass each other when he was on a run, but you would give a friendly smile, not one of recognition.

Dex had wondered what it would be like to speak to you, imagined it so many times that he swore a few of the conversations had happened. In his head, he could be as smooth and well versed in social interactions as he wanted, but reality was a disappointing enemy to confront. It seemed impossible that he would ever be able to bridge the distance between the alleyway of the two buildings.

You worked for a radio show that discussed indie film and music. Not exactly his interest, but he did find himself tuning to your show when he would have a day stuck at his desk. You were soft spoken, at least until a topic would arise that would incite your passion. There was a fire in you, and Dex wanted to warm himself with it.

The light of the TV switched off, and he watched as you stood, stretching for a moment before dimming the light on the wall. You disappeared around the hall, the red head of Bandit following behind. The show was over for the night. You always kept the drapes of your bedroom shut, and Dex felt a certain frustration that he would have to go to sleep. He respected your need to keep the place where you slept private. Some lines he didn't wish to cross.

Once when you had walked through your living room in nothing but a lace bra and panties he had averted his eyes. Dex had needed to breathe deeply, and his hands had clutched the sheets in bunches until his knuckles turned white. But he didn't look up again until you were decent.

Dex crawled under his own sheets, repositioning many times to try and find the perfect spot to settle. His thoughts lingered on what was happening across the street. How did you sleep, did you have a side of the bed you preferred, and what did you wear? He hated not knowing, but he had never seen that side of you, and so he had to imagine.

Dex was good at imagining. Mostly he thought of situations with you, like what it would be like to stay up late on your sofa, or going for a walk in the park with Bandit. Other intimate ideas passed through his mind often. How would it feel to take your hand, touch your lips, share your bed? He was sure there wasn't another person in your life with whom you spent such company. Dex couldn't entertain that being a possibility, because it made his heart sped up and did something ugly to his thoughts.

Clearing his mind of all thought, he closed his eyes and waited for sleep to come. The night passed into the day in the blink of an eye, and he was rising to the sound of his alarm. It was still hours before work, the slot in which he filled with a run to get his heart pumping for the day.

Dressed and ready to go, he left his apartment, taking the steps with purpose. It was that early time in the morning where the air still clung to the chill of the night. As he stepped out the door of his building, the brush of the cold breeze made him more alert, and he immediately spotted the swift flash of red coming towards him.

“Bandit, no,” You called.

Dex was startled by your break in routine. He had never seen you outside your building at this hour. A quick survey of your outfit told him this wasn't common for you either. You still had on flannel bottoms tucked into boots, and your coat was haphazardly zipped halfway up.

Bandit coming towards him drew his attention away from you for a moment, and he crouched down before the animal. Taking off his gloves, he threaded his fingers through the soft red hair and gave the dog a scratch in the sweet spot behind the ears.

“Hey buddy,” Dex said quietly, dipping his head while Bandit breathed warmly in his face. It was familiar and pleasant. He liked dogs, having been around ones for therapy before. He'd thought of getting his own, but his work schedule would leave the animal neglected, and Dex refused to abandon something when he hated the feeling.

“Well, you certainly have a way with him. He's usually so grouchy to any new face he meets,” You said, approaching with a smile of relief.

Dex could feel his blood rushing, and he hadn't even gone for his run yet. “He's just protective of you. That's a smart animal you've got.”

Your eyes met his, and your face carried a delicious blush from the cool air. “I'm sorry if we bothered you. Normally I don't get up this early with him, but he just didn't want to sleep this morning, and his leash got out of my hand before I knew it. Good thing you were here..?”

“Dex,” He said, filling in the question

“Thank you, Dex,” You said softly. “My name's Y/N.”

“Y/N, it's nice to meet you.” Up close he could see your eyes, and how they emitted a gentle nature. Your hair was pulled away from your face, loose tendrils swaying in the wind and tickling your neck. You still carried the weight of sleep with you, from the sag of your shoulders to the shadows on your face. Dex wanted to do something to help you. “So, is Bandit a runner?”

“If I let him be, he definitely would. Why?”

“I'm thinking I'm going for a run anyway, and you look like you could use a bit more sleep. Why don't I take him off your hands for a little while.”

“Oh, I couldn't ask you to do that. I wouldn't want him to give you trouble,” You said, but your dog had already parked down beside Dex and was looking at him in anticipation.

“It's no trouble. The company would be nice,” said Dex, giving Bandit another scratch on the head.

“If it's alright with you,” You said, but Dex could see the lingering doubt you had about passing your dog off to a stranger.

“I'll bring him right back. If not, you know where I live.”

You gave a little laugh. It was flinty and full of light. “Guess I do. You don't look like a dognapper to me, and you're a Federal Agent, so I should trust you.”

Dex couldn't help but frown. He didn't like someone else knowing something about him, and his eyes narrowed. “How do you know that?”

“I've seen you coming home from work. The jacket and the hat were a dead giveaway,” You spoke fast and you were looking at the ground, embarrassed. “Sorry, I wasn't watching you or anything. It's just one of those things you notice.”

Dex wished you had been watching him. Maybe then...no, better to not go there right now. “It's fine. I wasn't exactly trying to be inconspicuous.”

“I'd better let you go on that run,” You said, looking down at Bandit who had his paw resting on Dex's leg. “He's starting to get fed up with both of us.”

“What apartment do I return him to?” Dex already knew which one was yours from counting the windows in your building, but you couldn't know that.

“3A. When you're done, come over and I'll make you breakfast as a thank you. I can't even get my mother to look after him for a weekend, but it looks like you two made fast friends.”

Animals had great senses. Dex wanted to be closer to you, and he wondered if Bandit felt that. “It's no problem.”

“Great, I’ll see you in a while then,” You said, giving a small wave as you headed for the door of your building. “Don't work too hard you two.”

Dex doubted he'd need to run fast this morning. His heart was already hammering in his chest from the time spent with you. The thought of the breakfast invite in your apartment was incentive enough to get moving, and he only had to take a step before Bandit leaped up and kept pace beside him. Using the leash as his guide, Dex started for the park, already planning in his head how he could get used to this new routine with a running partner if it meant being with you.

[prince-septimus]

My other 3+1 idea was 3 times Dex & reader almost slept together & 1 time they did if this is too nsfwish for what you’re looking for feel free to discard it!

decision

pairing : benjamin poindexter x agent!reader

summary : 3 times you and dex almost sleep together, and the one time you do

word count : 1.1k

warnings : slight nsfw

The smell of beer on Dex's breath should turn you off, but there's something so intoxicating about it and you don't bother to push him away.

"Long night, Agent?"

The bar you were standing in was busy, and you had found yourself crowded against a corner, a half-finished drink in your hand. A few other agents had come out with you, but most had either left or got lost in the crowd, and now it was just you and Dex.

Dex had a hand resting on the wall next to your head, a sly smile plastered across his face.

"Long enough to make me feel the need to come here," you chirp, taking a swig from your cup.

Dex clicks his tongue. "You don't like it here? I thought you enjoyed coming out and spending your hard-earned money on cheap drinks."

"A girl's gotta let loose sometimes."

Dex grins. There's something in his eyes then, something familiar to you, but unfamiliar coming from the man standing before you. There's need there, and for a moment you think Dex is going to lean over and kiss you.

Someone shouts your name.

Through the crowd you can see one of your coworkers -- a secretary from the third floor -- waving you over.

You throw Dex an apologetic look, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek. "See you tomorrow, Dex."

Dex is left wondering how he let the opportunity slip through his fingers.

-

Dex's hand on your thigh startles you just enough to bring attention to you.

One of your coworkers peers across the table at you, their brows furrowing in concern. "You okay?"

You reach for your glass of water and offer a nod. You can feel Dex's hand snaking it's way up your bare thigh, brushing against the fabric of the dress you had chose to wear out tonight.

It was a staff party -- one at a nice, fancy restaurant that none of you would have gone to normally. Dex had strategically chosen a seat next to you, carefully planning out his actions for the night.

And now he was letting them play out, just to see how far you would go.

If everything turned out like he would like it to, he'd end up fucking you in one of the stalls in the restaurant restroom, but he already knew you would only let him get so far before pushing him away. You had some class, you had told him once, making it known that you wanted your first time together to not be something that happened haphazardly in a drunken stupor or a random toilet.

You let his hand brush up under your dress for half a second before you’re reaching down to push it away.

Dex isn't even disappointed.

-

"Fuck."

The curse is spoken against your ear as another bottle of disinfectant slips from its spot on the shelf above your head. You giggle softly as Dex presses himself further against you, trying to keep from bumping into anything else.

"Are you sure the closet is the best place?" you tease. Your hands are tangled into Dex's hair, and from what you can see in the light peeking through the cracks between the closet door and the frame, his hair is a mess from your touch.

"Do you have anything better?" Dex replies before his lips are on your neck again, sucking on the skin and surely leaving a mark that you're hoping you'll be able to cover up before you step out of this closet and back into the office where you desk resides.

A sense of doubt floods through you -- not of doing this with Dex, but of doing it here.

You don't want your first time to be in a broom closet where anyone could see or hear you.

"Dex."

He continues his assault on your neck.

"Dex." You push on his chest, his back hitting something in the closet that knocks something else off the top shelf.

"What?"

"Not here," you tell him simply, trying to hide the disappointment in your tone.

There's silence, and then Dex is opening the closet door and peeking down the end of each hallway. He turns to give you a small smile, clearly not mad at your decision, and then he's pushing himself out of the closet.

"Not here," he agrees before marching down the hallway.

-

There's a knock on your door that startles you from where you're sitting on your couch. Your TV plays softly in the background, enough white noise to lure you into a sense of comfort for the night. You hadn't expected anyone to come over.

When you open the door, it's Dex standing on the other side of it. His hair is slightly wet from the rain outside, droplets spattered across his jacket. You eye him carefully, confused as to why he is now standing on your doorstep. "Dex? It's late--"

Before you can finish, Dex is pushing his way in, one hand reaching out to shut the door as he steps in and the other coming up to grasp your face as he leans forward to kiss you.

It startles you, Dex's lips against your own, but it's not an unwanted action. Dex pulls away too quickly for your liking, his breathing shaky as he looks at you.

He still has a hand on your cheek as he speaks. "Here?"

You think back on all the times you almost slept together in a variety of places, only to be interrupted by friends or your own thoughts. All of those interruptions and missed opportunities seemed to come together now, creating this moment in time where you get to finally make the decision.

You nod, a smile forming on your face. "I want this," you tell him, and Dex doesn't hesitate to kiss you again.

He doesn't stop as he removes his jacket, throwing it onto your abandoned couch. Your TV continues to play in the background, but it isn't even white noise anymore -- just another forgotten distraction.

Dex steps forward, causing you to stumble back as you try and keep your balance. He smiles against your lips, a hand finding your hip to help you keep your balance as he continues to walk you backwards toward your bedroom.

There's a messy feeling to the two of you as you stumble through your apartment. It isn't until you reach your bedroom when Dex pulls away to strip off his shirt. You follow his lead, barely given a chance to strip of your own shirt before Dex is pushing you back onto your bed.

As his hands scour your body, searching it for all those spots he's so unaccustomed to, a small sense of regret fills you.

A part of you wonders why you let so many things prevent this from happening before, but when Dex lets his trails his lips down your body, you don't bother letting that sense of regret overcome you, instead succumbing to Dex’s touch.

[grogunotfound]

FINAL PART OF LOST

pairing ╾ ben poindexter x fem!reader

word count ╾ 2.8k

synopsis ╾ a very special agent and a very special dancer face the reality of their true feelings.

warnings ╾ kissy kissy, murder ment (cus it’s dex), tiny blood ment (still dex)

a/n ╾ wow. this was fun. expect some more dex content cus i have concepts for days ajdhajdjsjd

p.s. i included lyrics from “lost boy” by 5sos HAHAHA

[disclaimer: i rarely proofread so please excuse any and all errors!!!]

———

Dex has been on a week rampage ever since he left you on your stoop that night. First, he went for the politician that violated you. He found him at another party, probably preparing himself to do whatever-the-fuck he did to you. And, Dex wasn’t going to let that happen. He wanted to keep you safe from every single bad thing in the world...even if it would be from a distance. Even if he was one of those bad things. There was joy when he watched the politician’s life fade from his eyes. Dex managed to get him alone in the hostess’s office before hurling a pair of nearby scissors into the center of his forehead.

Then, Dex went for himself. He ruined nearly everything in his apartment. He punched holes in the wall, propelled dishes across the living room, let out guttural screams. He was angry. At you. At himself. At the world. He knew that sending you into his life was punishment for all the bad deeds he has done. For all the lives he took. And the comfort he felt when he destroyed people. It was only a matter of time until he harmed you next. He couldn’t change. Being a bad person was in his blood. He wasn’t worth redemption. He wasn’t worthy enough for you.

Dex continued to wonder what your life was like now that he was out of the equation. Although you never saw him, he always made sure you made it home after work, even if it meant losing sleep. You looked nice tonight; a shade of red decorated your full lips, your hair was freshly curled that with each step they bounced, and you had on a dress. ‘This is new,’ Dex thought to himself. He wondered what the occasion was. It couldn’t have been a roommate’s birthday because—naturally—he knew each of their birthdays. The closest one wasn’t until a few more months.

“Hey!” You chirped as you walked further down the street. “So good to see you.”

Dex’s eyes followed your trail and came upon another man. He could already feel the jealousy boiling inside him, his stomach twisted at the sight of you with someone else. You placed a soft kiss on your date’s cheek, smiling as he interlaced his fingers with yours.

“Ready?” Your date grinned.

You nodded in response. You felt something tug at your heartstrings, causing you to look over at the spot Dex usually waited for you after you finished work. You were only met with emptiness, but you deeply longed to see his chiseled, lop-sided smile widen when you stepped out of the backstage door. You would be lying to yourself if you said this date was purely for fun. You were looking for a distraction. You have never met anyone like Dex before. His aloofness drew you in even more. It was something you recognized in your self before you moved to New York. You knew how much it hurt to not be heard or seen. Maybe it was the reason why you decided to become a dancer at a strip club in the first place. You would often question why you craved such validation. But, with Dex, he didn’t just give you validation, he gave you his wholehearted attention.

And, you missed him. A lot. You couldn’t get that fateful night out of your head. You saw him in your dreams. You told your roommates about him, which—to be fair—was a big step in your relationship. You cried over him. You felt as if you had lost a piece of yourself when Dex left. You couldn’t understand how someone so temporary left a permanent mark on your being.

“Y/N? Is everything alright?” Your date asked. Before you knew it, your date was over and you were standing in the same spot where Dex broke your heart.

You exhaled, “Yeah, yeah. Everything is fine.”

“Are you sure? You seemed kind of...distant tonight.” Your date stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I just hope you enjoyed yourself.”

“Don’t worry, I did.” You placed a fake smile on your face, something you were getting too used to. “Thanks for dropping me home.”

“Can I see you again?” He asked hopefully.

You hesitated, “Oh, sure. Just send me a text or something.”

Your date grinned. He began to lean closer to you, fluttering his eyes closed. You asked yourself how long you wanted this distraction to last. But, you weren’t sure how long Dex would be away for. You had hope… But, a little kiss wouldn’t hurt. You felt something whiz past your face.

“Ow, shit.” Your date pulled away from you, rubbing his temple. “I think I just got hit with a rock.” Small droplets of blood were beginning to trickle down the side of his face.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” You gasped. You looked around to catch any potential perpetrators. “Should I call 911?”

Your date let out a laugh, “No, it’s okay. It must’ve fallen from a tree or something. I’ll tend to it when I get home. Goodnight, Y/N.” He awkwardly hugged you before leaving.

You groaned once your date was out of hearing. What a terrible night. Could it get any worse? You entered your apartment, immediately bombarded with questions from your roommates.

“How was it? Did you two kiss? What did you talk about?” They desperately asked.

“Fine, no, and I don’t remember. I was too busy thinking about Dex the entire time.” You groaned even more. “What is wrong with me?”

One of them guided you to the couch, “Nothing’s wrong with you! Dex was hot, so I don’t blame you.” You let out a small laugh, feeling a little bit alleviated.

“Should I text him?” You wondered out loud.

“No,” they chimed in unison.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” You sighed and sank deeper into the seat cushions.

Dex stood silently outside of your apartment’s front door. He followed behind your date, ready to pounce on his next victim, but something held him back—he couldn’t stop thinking about you. He thought about what you would think of him. He wanted you to be proud of him. He wanted to make you proud, so he restrained himself. Now, he was standing outside as if you were expecting him. You weren’t, obviously, but you hoped he would show up. But, tonight was not the night. Dex decided to let you be and went home early.

You were perfection. He has been waiting for somebody like you. But, Dex didn’t want to ruin you. He was sad in silence, living in a world of noise. His head buzzed with self-effacing notions. He was without direction. He was lost. Dex wanted to be found. You wanted to find him.

Maybe that’s why you showed up to the FBI office. Agents bustled in and out the glass front doors. You waited patiently outside, unsure about your next move. Were you going to wait outside? Or go inside the building to look for Dex? You paced back and forth on the sidewalk, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” You thought about the way Dex made you feel. Right now, you were angry. But, when you were with him, you had no other care in the world. You felt safe with him. He was always there for you. He listened to you. He empathized with you—something that you found rare at the Northstar Lounge. You quickly found composure and decided to just fuck it all and find Dex.

Dex couldn’t wait any longer either. He needed you. He wanted to run away from the loneliness that haunted his every waking moment. He wanted to find his way back to you. Being with you was his will to live. He would beg you to stay with him. If you ever left him… “Stop it,” he scolded himself. It was so hard, trying to abandon his past. The malignant thoughts buzzed in his head, but you were his Polaris, his Northstar. He couldn’t be without you. You guided him. “Hey, boss. I’m going to get some air.” Dex threw on his jacket before heading for those same glass doors you were standing in front of.

“Dex,” you breathlessly gasped, clearly getting caught off guard.

“Y/N,” his jaw dropped a little bit. “What are you doing here? Stalking me?” He readjusted his tie, trying to restrain a sly smile from creeping onto his lips. You let out a laugh—music that Dex felt were just as bright and joyous as wind chimes.

You shook your head, raking through excuses to avoid the truth. You weren’t going to fold that easily. “I just happened to be in the neighborhood. I didn’t realize you work here.”

Dex let out a laugh this time—it was raspy, but it was a satisfying itch to your ears. There was silence for a few moments. The tension in the air was not hard to miss. Both of you wanted to say something, but you were scared of the other’s response. You wanted to ask what went wrong. Dex wanted to ask how he could make it up to you.

“I..I was just going to go for a walk by the water. Care to join?” Dex spoke up, hoping a neutral place would be more refreshing. You couldn’t contain your smile and nodded. Almost out of instinct, you reached up to grab his upper arm, causing Dex to tense up, not used to your touch anymore—he wanted you to never let go. The two of you reached a bench that overlooked the river. Dex gestured for you to sit down, and he followed suit. He awkwardly cleared his throat, “How have you been?”

You debated on telling the truth or giving him a general answer. On one hand, you could tell him how you really felt. Or, you could let him take the wheel. You weren’t ready to be led on again. You had to be sure that he wanted to be with you, just as much as you wanted to be with him. “I’ve been better. And yourself?”

Dex sighed, conflicted between the two choices too. He had a hard time with his feelings, coming to terms with his raw, scary emotions. He wanted to please you, to make you happy. You watched him attentively. “It’s been hard. It’s been really hard.” He gulped. He looked up at you to see your reaction. You stared back at him with your big, dewy doe eyes that he had been enchanted by ever since he first saw you. Even before you approached him at the club, he had already taken note of you. The way you sturdily walked, the way your hips swayed, the way your eyes gleamed when the stage lights highlighted your face. He admired the way your smile never faltered.

“With work?” You feeblemindedly asked. You weren’t going to jump the gun.

Dex took a deep breath, clenching his arms into fists to relieve some tension, “Without you.” He tightened his jaw, “I’m sorry for what I did, Y/N.”

You paused, uncertain of how to approach him. Dex desperately searched your face for any sign of a response. You pursed your lips, “why did you do it then?” You were genuinely curious. You thought the two of you got along well. You thought your friendship could be something more than just an exchange.

“Love, you’re..you’re a good person. And, I-I just feel like I’m..I’m drowning. No matter how hard I try I can’t get a grip on anything. I’m losing myself, and I can’t get any air…but, when I’m with you, it’s like you’re my lifeline. Like, you’re air that I need to breathe. I was scared.”

“Scared of what?” You went to grab his hand, but he pulled away. You flinched, “Dex. I—”

“I was scared of hurting you. I didn’t want to pull you into this void with me. You’re a really good girl, and I need someone like you. But, maybe you were just too good. I’m not worth it. Love, I-I’m just sorry.” He exhaled harshly, trying to keep his composure. He wanted to be strong for you.

You sat back onto the wooden frame of the bench. He glanced over at you, noting your shift in posture—it was as if you had lost your light. “Dex, can I tell you something?” His silence was a response in itself. “I normally don’t like being called my stage name out in public. It never felt natural to take it outside of my work. You know, when I’m called by that, it’s usually followed by a command or a back-handed compliment or even a dirty comment. Love was never kind to me.” You sucked in a breath, “But with you, it feels different. It feels..good. You brought a whole new meaning to that name. It’s like a nickname. It has a purpose, a story, like I’m art.” Dex blossomed with every word that was coming out of your perfect mouth. “Dex, I guess what I’m trying to say is that you make me feel safe.” You looked over at him to find Dex looking back intently.

He wanted to move closer to you so he could cup your cheeks and bring your lips to his. He wanted to run his hands down your neck until they reached your waist. He knew how right you would feel in his arms, his hands, in between his fingers.

“And, while we’re being honest… It hurt when you left that night. I thought I meant enough to you that I could at least have an explanation.” You sniffled, looking away to keep the tears from falling.

“Love…” Dex was speechless, but he wanted to make things right. He needed you. Most importantly, you needed him. “Love, I..that was never my intention. I never wanted to hurt you. It hurt me just as much that night. I don’t know how I can make it up to you…but, please, if you give me the chance. I’m sorry.”

You took the leap and scooted closer to him. You couldn’t stand the distance between the two of you. You longed for his cold touch, his warm stature, his steady arms. You took the liberty and rested your head on his shoulder, prompting him to make room for you. He lifted his arm and placed it around you, letting his own head fall on top of yours. This felt right—heck, it was perfect. Dex wanted to live in this position for the rest of his life, “I’m so so sorry. Please don’t leave me. You’re everything to me.”

You configured yourself to look at him properly, “Dex, I forgive you. You need to trust me. I’m not going anywhere.” You promised.

Dex glanced down at you, fully taking you in. Sunlight shaded your eyes in such a way that made it impossible to focus on anything else. His heart sped up as his gaze drank the rest of your face. He gently placed a hand on your cheek, using his finger to trace your profile—from the height of your cheekbones to your bottom lip. His thumb lightly brushed against your lips before resting on your chin. Your breath trembled as he pulled your face upward to kiss you.

Dex’s hand floated up to your face, pressing his lips against yours without hesitation. His lips were warm and soft, a complete contrast to his chilling touch. You could taste your shared breath, inducing you to deepen the kiss. At this moment, it was just the two of you. The sounds of New York never ceased—the cars honking, a police siren blaring past, live music playing from a restaurant nearby. Nothing else mattered. Everything else in the world faded away because he was so transfixed on breathing you in. The kiss was dizzying but healing. Butterflies danced in your stomach because everything about this felt right. Being with Dex was right. You didn’t need anything else. Dex didn’t want anything else other than you.

Breathing deeply, Dex nudged his nose against yours and tried to calm his flustered heart. Your hands had traveled to the hand resting on his lap. Without any thought, you guided his free hand to rest on your thigh. You didn’t let go; instead, you held onto him. Dex ran his thumb along the inner stitches of your pants, ruffling the fabric and your own breathing. For once in his life, Dex felt relaxed. He could feel his cheeks flushing red, his heartbeat beating itself out of his chest. Time stopped, but he never ceased the relentless attention he had on you. You invaded all his senses, and he understood that you made him feel just as safe. This was all he’s ever wanted. Dex reluctantly pulled away, the two of you breathing heavily but happily. “I was lost without you.” Dex rested his forehead against yours, “Thank you for finding me.”

[ao3feed-daredevil]

Love It If We Made It

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2C52M13

by mvtthewmurdvck

Season 3 Daredevil Spoilers Ahead.

Benjamin Poindexter is a Special Agent working for the FBI. You are a member of the administrative team working at Metro-General Hospital. Will you be able to forgive Dex for how far he falls to protect you? Will you survive Fisk's game of chess?

Words: 2591, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Daredevil (TV)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/M

Characters: Lester | Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter, Benjamin Poindexter, Original Female Character(s)

Relationships: Lester | Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter/Original Character(s), Benjamin Poindexter x Reader, Benjamin Poindexter x You, poindexter x reader

Additional Tags: Season 3 Canon, To a point, Angst, Romance, Love, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Eventual Smut, Canon-Typical Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2C52M13