when does jersry enter his crush era? like does that happen right after the hate orr before the flight to southpark? sorry! im just curious lmfao
aaaaaa, okay, omgomgomg. sorry this ask got to skip the line because the jersey kyle simp crush era is like, my favorite fucking thing to talk about, my man is down further than hell oh my gOD!!!
also, its after The Hate, i gue--
wait, just kidding, it's actually During the hate. because stan was being sooooo cute during it ( like we saw him being cute, yes he is like that quite licherally the whole time, i love him omg ) he was doing very lovely soft boy stanley marsh things, accidentally doing the stan laugh/lip bite, making dumb jokes, dropping everything...
and for a man that doesn't eat anything...
JERSEY WAS EATING THAT UUUUUP!!!!!
jerseykyle is the scary scholar dark academia black cat boy for cute pretty angel boy golden retriever goth boy agenda & i MEAN THAT!!!
so, i would say the crush is Officially established during this one part of the hate ( i wasn't going to talk abt it yet, but u know how i am ) where ravenstan is trying to open something, like a packet, and he is looking at it like it is the fucking da vinci code, like it is a rubix cube, like its fucking rocket science omg, so he's like tilting his head to the side, pursing his lips, staring hard at it trying to open it lol, and he's about to try and tear it with his teeth fml...when kyle snatches him from it and just Opens It in one go then hands it back to him.
...and ravenstan just looked up at kyle, like he hung the fkn moon, eyes soooo wide, smiling so big, like kyle had done this amazing service for him and said 'gracias, yersey! you rock :')' AND SHOT HIM THE ROCKNROLL HAND SIGNAL before excitedly going back to whatever he was doing and kyle was like...
OoooOHHhhhh mYYy gOOOd.
whathefuckwhathteufuckwhathEFUCk!!!!! and was like IIIIIII GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM LOL!!!! his heart was like pounding holy shit. and when he gets into the bathroom, he whips his cellphone out and immediately calls marj in a PANIC like "marj, you gotta come get me. i gotta come home. i think i'm DYING!!!" and marj is like "kyle, baby, you gotta slow down, darlin'! i can't understand what ur sayin--"
and kyle was like "i'm having a stroke" and marj is like "you're 21." and kyle is like "OKAY AND??? I'M HAVING A FUCKING STROKE MARJ" and she's...slowly...like "okay, well what are your symptoms?" and kyle is like "okay my chest hurts really bad!!! i can't fucking breathe!!! i feel Warm like??? really warm!!! i feel like my heart is going to fall out of my stomach, like i'm so nervous??? everything is spinning, Oh God, marj you gotta get me out of here!!!! MARJ, I AM FUCKING DYI--"
and marj is like "alright...kyle...i need you to stop and listen, ya hear? because i got some good news and some bad news..."
"good news is ur not havin' a stroke..."
"but what you do have..."
"--is a big ol' crush on raven'a crimson dawn." ;) <3
SDLKHDLKHDSLSD AND KYLE IS LIKE OHHHHMYGOD SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP NOIDONNNNNTTT!!!! I DO NAAAUGHT
unserious...like, baby...denial is a river in egypt. the same color as raven of crimson dawn's eyes...and you are DROWNING IN IT!!!!
speaking of crimson dawn and the jersey kyle secret simp era, like after the hate its sooooo....when i tell you he is Unwell.
like he made fun of those fangirls making edits of raven on youtube and now he is watching them LIKE A CRAZY PERSON!!!! like watching his interviews just to LOOK AT HIS HANDS??????? watch him SMILE?>?????? JAIL!!!!!!!!! speaking of J A I L!!!!!!!
he was literally in professor mackeys class, in his CRimina Laur class!! and kyle, who is never not paying attention, never not taking notes, would Never be on his phone!!!! was on his phone WATCHING CRIMSON DAWNS NEWEST MUSIC VIDEO!!!!!
bc he is down horrendous in disgusting nasty gay boy hell watching ravenstan do flips, crazy body rolls n celeb hotboy rockstar shit in the Raven Tiny Hooker Prostitute Pants 4 Nasty Boys That Need Jesus
wHEN THE HEADPHONES HE HAS ON UNSYNCH AND JUST BLARE AND I MEAN!!! BLAAARE CRIMSON DAWN ALL THRU THAT QUIET ASS CLASSROOM LIKE SHDLKDSSDk....heidi, tolkien and clyde griefed him so badly it was...oh my god.
i am...deeply embarassed.
also it only gets worst post hate and up to the sp flight, which??? i am glad that we liked that like??? I Thought it was a cool plot moment? but i am biased. ON THE HOT TOPIC OF BIASES THO RAVEN IS CLEARLY JERSEYS SECRET CD BIAS AND HE IS A DAWN SPAWN.
liv laff luv simp jersey with a big ol crush on raven of cd,
-uncle nina
p.s. ravenstan was on Hot Ones and he literally decimated all those wings like it was legendary but uh...it did really bad things to kyles brain, he was watching ravenstan's mouth way too much, like raven of crimson dawn was making way too many sounds...HELL!!! JAIL!!! *sprays kyle with the holy water* REPENT!!!! HARLOT!!!!
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