#ahh it was just so fun and it seems like ages away now :')

[lilacs-stars]

aiming for your heart

this is part 1, read part 2 here! pairing: james hook x fem!reader (requested) (note: reader is glinda the good witch's daughter) SUMMARY: you agree to a tutoring session with your pirate classmate, but things end up taking an...unexpected twist. GENRE: pure fluff, a bit of banter CW: nothing much, just mentions of societal pressures WC: 7.9k (they just keep getting longer...)

A/N: I decided to finally do something cute and fluffy after days of working on dark angsty stuff and this felt like a much-needed breath of fresh air. it was so fun to write, so thanks to the anon who requested this for the fun idea! <3 please give me feedback and suggestions, I'd love to know your thoughts!

Up, swish, circle, flick. Up, swish, circle, flick. Up, swish, cir—

“Ahh, oww!” you cry out as a very solid metal object collides with the side of your skull. Your hand instinctively goes up to the spot on your head—which you can already feel starting to swell—as you wince in pain. 

You’re supposed to throw the ring in the basket, not at my head, idiot, you think to yourself as you grimace. 

“Oh my gosh, Y/N, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to hit you, I swear!” you glance around the room, locking eyes with your classmate just a few tables away, whose wand is still poised in their hand and a bewildered expression planted on their face. “I just can’t seem to control…this gosh darn wand…”

You let out a little sigh, trying your best to not be impatient. After all, you couldn’t expect everyone to be as experienced in this field as you are. 

You glance back at the student, who’s rereading their textbook pages for what’s probably the tenth time. As you watch them struggle, a pang of guilt hits you for being so mean and irritable. It’s not like they were trying to hit you, and even though it was just a thought passing through in the privacy of your mind, you still feel as though thinking something mean like that is wrong. 

You push your chair back and rise from your seat, wand tightly gripped in one hand. Walking over to your classmate’s desk, you give a small smile as you ask them, “Need any help?”

They look up at you with wide eyes. “Oh, yes, please! Enchantment of Magical Objects is literally the hardest class ever!”

You grin again, keeping your demeanor light and friendly, like always. “Okay, so first, you go up, then swish, then circle your wand back around, and finally flick, and then…”

You copy the movements with your own wand as you speak, small magical sparks flickering off it at your gestures. After you complete your little demonstration, you both watch as a hand-sized sleek metal ring, somewhat resembling a circular horseshoe, levitates off the desk and neatly lands in a bucket in the center of the room. 

Today’s assignment in your Enchantment class is to use the Aiming Spell to throw the rings into a bucket. Safe to say, it wasn’t really going well for most of the class. 

“Wow, that was amazing! You’re so good at this Y/N!” your now starry-eyed classmate exclaims. “And I can barely get my rings off my desk…”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get there,” you smile reassuringly. “After all, I’ve had a lot of experience around wands and enchantments.”

“Yeah, I suppose that is right. I guess not everyone can be as talented with magic as the Good Witch’s very own daughter.”

A small laugh escapes your lips, and you bid farewell to your classmate as you make your way back to your seat. They aren’t wrong, after all. Your mother, Glinda, taught you how to use a wand as soon as you could walk. You’ve been watching her use magic for ages, so it’s not a surprise to anyone that you’re top of your class. 

You sit back down, getting back to work. Even though you know you’ve already mastered the spell, you still have some class time left, which you decide to use wisely and continue practicing the spell. 

Staring at the pile of metal rings in front of you, you take a deep breath and begin the task of making each one levitate off your desk and make a perfect arch towards the basket. 

Up, swish, circle, flick. Up—swoosh!

A flying ring shoots straight past your face, barely missing you by only a few inches. You stumble backwards in your chair, quite startled. Still, it isn’t unusual to see objects flying around the classroom, or rather, objects flying where they’re not supposed to.

A moment later, another one whizzes past you again. Then a third, which gets so close to your face that you can feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Annoyed, your head snaps to your right, trying to figure out who keeps nearly decapitating you. 

You glance around, finally locking eyes with what seems to be the culprit. Chair leaning against the wall, tipped back on its hind two legs, sits a figure with deep brown eyes and smokey eyeshadow look to match. A smirk is planted on his face, a mischievous glint in his gaze. He wears a dark red jacket on top of a black dress shirt, the collar disheveled and his tie loose around his neck. Contrary to his tousled outfit, his medium-length brown hair is neatly slicked back. One of his hands leisurely holds a wand while the other rests behind his head, and combined with the way he has a leg crossed over the other, one would think he’s enjoying a nice day at the beach instead of sitting in class at one of the most prestigious academies in the land.

You fix him with a look, your gaze subconsciously morphing into a glare as he jerks the wand up, causing one of the metal rings in front of him to levitate a few inches off his desk. With a flick of the wrist, he sends it flying across the room once again. Having learned your lesson, this time you duck down, eyes following the disk as it soars across the room. You watch as it shoots straight towards its target, who expertly crouches as the metal ring hits the wall behind him with a thud, falling to the ground and joining the previous disks.

The target of these attacks is a boy you recognize to be a good friend of the ring-throwing troublemaker, with light brown hair brushed away from his forehead and dressed in a dark green shirt with a black choker around his neck. Morgie le Fay shoots a glare across the room to his perpetrator, making a face that could only mean “You’ll pay for this later.”

Another disk comes shooting at his head, and he ducks down yet again. This time, the metal hits the wall so hard, you worry it left a dent. Unable to take their child-like behavior any longer, you get up from your seat for the second time and stomp your way over to the disk-thrower.

“Hook!” you say as you reach his table. The man in question tilts his head towards you, looking up with an amused grin.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, lassie?” he replies, his accent crisp and unmistakable. 

You fight the urge to roll your eyes at him, knowing it would be terribly rude, even if he was getting on your nerves like no other. You settle for fixing him with another look. “Could you please stop hurling those disks around? It’s not the assignment, and you practically hit me!”

“My apologies, love,” Hook replies, still peering up at you, unbothered. You honestly doubt he means it, so you frown and try again. “I’m being serious, Hook.”

“As am I,” he replies, making you want to smack that stupid smirk off his face. Deep breaths, deep breaths, you remind yourself. Violence is never the answer. You find it funny how you can almost hear your mother’s voice as you repeat those words in your head, the ones she always tells you.

“So you’ll stop?” you ask, raising a brow and putting your hands on your hips to show him you’re not messing around.

“Ah, well, you see,” Hook starts, and it takes every ounce of benevolence in you to not internally combust at whatever excuse he’s planning to come up with. “I’m having a tad bit of trouble with this spell, love. No matter what I do, I simply can’t seem to lock on to the right target.”

At this, you raise your eyebrows again, disbelief laced through your every cell. “Why don’t you give it a go,” you say, jerking your chin towards the basket in the middle of the room. “You never know until you don’t try.”

Hook leans forward in his chair, righting it again so it stands on all four legs. He raises his wand, and if you didn’t know any better, you would think he’s actually concentrating on the task at hand. One of the metal disks rises into the air, levitating a meter above the floor.

Hook flicks his wand forward and the disk sails away, missing the basket in an almost laughable attempt at execution. Instead of the proper target, it lands on the edge of a file cabinet in the far corner of the room. You pray for the poor soul that will inevitably open one of its drawers, only to be smacked in the head by a piece of solid steel.

Eyebrows raised, Hook unabashedly turns back around to face you with that grin of his. “So how was that, love? Satisfied?”

“Not quite,” you huff, shaking your head at him. “Honestly, I haven’t seen anyone make such a…uh, interesting attempt at this assignment.” Deep down, a little part of you really wants to say much meaner things, but you bite back your words, knowing that showing contempt never did anyone any good.

“Interesting, eh?” Hook’s smirk grows, and you can see him already scheming inside that villainous little mind of his. “Say, Y/N”—he uncrosses his legs, leaning in your direction—“you’re the top student of this class, are you not?”

You narrow your eyes at him, but refrain from saying anything you know you’ll later regret. “Yes, and?”

“Well, as you can clearly see here, I require a bit of assistance with this assignment. After all, not everyone grew up waving wands like you,” he quips, flourishing the wand in his hand as if it were an ordinary stick. Abruptly, he stills his movements and drops the wand on his desk, before turning to face you directly, locking eyes. “Would you be so kind as to teach me a few things?”

You quirk your brows, albeit attempting to keep a straight face. “Are you asking me to…tutor you?”

Hook grins yet again. “This evening, 7 o’clock, the common area in the East Wing.” He puts his hand on his knees as he gets up, now leering a few inches above you. Still holding your gaze—although he has to tilt his head down to do so—he asks, “I’ll see you then?”

You blink twice, mind replaying the events that led to you getting yourself stuck in this situation. On the one hand, you definitely don't want to have a one-on-one study session with a villain—and an annoyingly smug one at that. Honestly, the few interactions you are forced to have with him in class are far enough for you. 

But on the other hand, he is asking for help to improve his grades…after all, it’s not every day someone the likes of him shows interest in learning. Plus, you know that it’s not right to turn away a person in need of your help, no matter how insufferable they are. Especially if they’re always flashing you a smile filled with shining white teeth and full, plump pink lips.

A sigh escapes your mouth before you can stop it as you resign yourself to your fate. “Alright, I guess. But come prepared to learn. That means you need your wand, your textbooks, notebo—”

He cuts you off with a passive sweep of his hook, much to your annoyance. Leaning in just a little closer to you, enough to make your palms slightly sweaty, his face tilts down even nearer to yours. “It’s a date, then,” Hook says, his voice soft but still with that teasing tone it always seems to carry.

“It’s not a date!” you call out as the bell rings, but he’s already making his way out of the classroom, sauntering off to do who-knows-what.

Heavens, what have I gotten myself into, you think, placing a hand on your forehead as you breathe out a long, heavy sigh.

The evening rolls around far too quickly for your liking, and before you know it you’re making your way out of your doom room and up a set of stairs.

You keep on thinking about how you had ample time to back out of this arrangement; plus, you would be lying if you said you didn't consider it a number of times. But each time, you remind yourself that you are doing a good deed for someone obviously in need of a good influence. That you have to be selfless and put aside your personal feelings to serve a good cause, as all heroes do. That your opinions don't really matter—after all, the best heroes are the ones who make the deepest sacrifices, right?

So that’s how you find yourself dragging heavy feet across a corridor, a tiny voice in your head begging you to turn around, as you finally reach the common area set as your meetup spot. You glance at your wristwatch, which reads 6:55. You had decided to leave a bit early so you could arrive with a few minutes to spare. As your mother always reminds you, “It’s better to be an hour early than a minute late.”

Pulling out a chair at a nearby two-person table, you sit down, plopping your bookbag next to you. You had stuffed it full of your personal notes, your wand, and several textbooks you thought could help Hook. 

Tapping a pencil on the wooden desk, you sigh, glancing at your clock again. 6:57. Thinking back on your previous decision, you wonder why you left so early. After all, you have Hook down in your mind as the type to be extremely unpunctual. Leaning back in your chair out of sheer boredom, you start to clearly picture Hook showing up a good hour late. Heck, you’d be surprised if he even shows up at all. 

The clock hits 6:59, and you begin to debate how long you’re willing to stay here before giving up and returning to your dorm. Would ten minutes be enough? Fifteen? Thirty? The more you think about it, the more you can imagine this being some sort of elaborate prank to trick you. After all, why would a delinquent villain like Hook ever be interested in planning a tutoring session?

You sigh once again, angry at yourself for being so naive as to fall for his little trick. Drumming your fingers on the table as you put your head down, you mentally punch yourself for your gullibility. 

Which is why you nearly jump out of your own skin at the sound of a loud thud sound from in front of you. You jerk back into your chair, arms flailing as it tips, causing you to nearly topple backwards. With your reflexes kicking in, your hand latches onto the edge of the table—thankfully—and you manage to pull yourself back to a more stable position.

Hand clutching your pounding heart, you roll your head back to be greeted with that stupid little smirk that haunts your thoughts. “I didn’t mean to give you a fright, love. After all, we were planning to meet up, were we not?” Hook says, tone extremely smug and a tiny bit pitiful at your frightened state. 

You raise your arm and flick your wrist, reading the time displayed on your clock. 7:00. He…he showed up exactly on time, you think, praying that your shock isn’t displayed on your face.

As if he can read your mind—and in all honesty, maybe he can—Hook says, “You didn’t doubt me, now, did you, darling? How could I skimp out on our little date?”

“It’s not a date,” you tell him once again, not even trying to hide the annoyance in your voice this time.

“Whatever you say.” Hook gives a little grin as he raises his eyebrows for a second. Before you can continue to argue, he pulls out the chair across from you and sits down. You eye a small black leather satchel that dangles from his hook as he drops it down on the floor. Huh, he even came prepared.

He leans in, arms resting on the table, as he fixes you with a sly grin. “So, Miss Teacher, what are you going to teach me today?”

You hate to pass on the opportunity to make a snarky remark, but you know that rubbing Hook the wrong way is not going to make these next few hours any less sufferable. Instead, you simply go for a “How about you start by getting out your materials?”

“As you wish, m’lady.” An irritated sigh escapes your lips, and you realize you’ve been sighing a lot more than usual ever since you got in this…predicament. You watch, somewhat impatiently, as Hook reaches down and draws a single notebook and his practice wand out of the leather satchel. Glancing at his materials, then back at yours, you realize that you came a lot more prepared than he did, even though you’re not the one trying to learn here. Well, I guess him putting in some effort still better than nothing.

You pull out one of the thick textbooks from your bag, the used animal skin cover peeling at the edges and the pages yellowed from the wear of time. 

“First, we’re going to get started with the theory of enchantments and spells.” You flip through the pages until you land on the first of many detailing the basics of spellcasting. “Even though we’re going to be focusing on the Aiming Spell, the underlying principles are pretty much the same for all spells you use. Now, you see here, highlighted in the chart are the five main…”

You chance a glance over at Hook, voice trailing off when you realize he isn’t listening. In fact, he's not even looking at the textbook placed in the middle of the desk. Instead, his gaze is fixed on…

…you?

“Hey! Why are you staring at me like that, you weirdo!” you exclaim, pulling back from the table. Hook remains unflinching, his chin in his good hand as he stares up at you with a sparkle in his eye. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it, love. You’re just so…so entrancing.”

You blink hard, recoiling at his words. He’s not flirting with you…is he? No, there’s no way. Don’t be overly arrogant, you convince yourself. This is just his personality, how he usually acts. The same way he calls everyone “love” and “darling.” There’s absolutely nothing more to it than him saying anything he can think of to fluster you and throw you off track.

…Right?

You ignore the stupid little flutter your heart does at not just being called pretty, or beautiful, or any of the normal compliments. No, you aren’t normal, you’re entrancing…

Snap out of it! you internally scold yourself. This is just another one of his little antics. You’re just letting him win by getting in your head. 

“Look, I didn’t come here and set aside this chunk of my valuable time to tutor you, only for you to not listen. If you came here to mess around—” you rant, but you’re cut off before you can get everything off your chest.

“I apologize, lassie. I promise, I’ll focus from here on out,” Hook vows. You eye him with a glare, feeling very distrustful, but you’re only met with his rather sincere gaze.

You let out another breath, once again regretting agreeing to this. “Fine. Get out your notebook. You’re going to want to take notes on this.”

Hook nods and reaches into his satchel, which is still lying on the floor. “If I’m being completely honest—which I assume you must hold in high regard, being a hero and whatnot—I really didn’t expect you to be so…irritable.”

You shoot Hook another glare, before realizing that you’re just proving his point. You give a brief roll of your eyes as you attempt a smile. “I’m not usually like this,” you say, fighting to keep a decently pleasant expression on your face. “You just really find a way to, how should I put this, you really—”

“Push your buttons?” Hook finishes for you, raising his eyebrows.

“I was going to say you really find a way to get on my nerves, but that too,” you respond, with obviously forced cheerfulness. “Whatever, we need to get back to studying. For real this time.”

Hook replies with an “Of course, m’lady,” before you begin your lecture again on the foundation of enchantments. This time, he makes sure to periodically glance down at the textbook pages and occasionally nod or ask a question, all to ensure that you don’t catch him staring at you again. Unbeknownst to you, adoration shines bright in his eyes as he studies your features, committing them to memory every time you’re not looking his way.

You spend some time going over theory with Hook, until you can feel him growing restless, causing you to start wondering if people like him have a capacity for how much information they can absorb at one time. Deciding that theory is no good if it’s not put to practice, you slam the textbook shut once you reach the end of a page, standing up.

Hook looks up at you, a slightly startled expression on his face. “Come on,” you say. “Now we’re going to see how much you paid attention by putting your lesson to good use.”

You hope to see a look of fear flash across his face, but his demeanor stays completely even. Feeling a bit let down, you remind yourself that he still has to actually cast the spell. Watch him mess it up, you think. Let’s see how smug he is then, huh?

Reaching down into your bookbag, you pull out a small bundle wrapped in a piece of cloth. You open it to reveal a handful of metal disks, similar to the ones you had used earlier in class. You empty them out on the table before walking over to the middle of the room and placing the cloth down on the floor, a good number of meters away from your table. “This is your target area,” you explain. “Stand by the table and get those rings to land within the borders of the cloth.”

Let’s see how well you fare now, pretty boy.

“Aye, that’s not fair,” Hook says, scrunching his brow as he gestures towards your setup with his hook. “That cloth’s much smaller than the basket we used in class. And the distance is far greater.”

“Well, if you learn how to get the spell right with tougher constraints than the requirement, you’ll be sure to do great for the real thing.” You flash him a wink as you watch his jaw part slightly, an incredulous expression painted on his face. “That’s how I always ace my exams.”

Hook draws in a breath, putting his ever-famous smirk back on his face, although you can feel his unease this time. He picks up his wand, turning around to point it at disks on the table. 

Up. He rolls his hand upwards, and one of the disks starts to levitate a foot in the air.

Swish. Hook jerks his wrist to the side, causing the disk to start gently vibrating with potential energy. 

Circle. He rotates his hand counterclockwise, drawing a circle with the tip of the wand.

Flick. You watch with bated breath as Hook flicks the wand towards the cloth in the middle of the room. 

Both of you follow the disc’s arc through the air with tense anticipation, as it soars, soars…

…and ends up missing the cloth by a good three feet.

Hook gives a small, halfhearted laugh, trying to keep up the suave facade. Yet you notice the way his shoulders slump forward, the way his body stiffens in an embarrassing shock. 

Part of you feels a wickedly twisted satisfaction at his failure—but as soon as you recognize it for what it is, you shove it away, repulsed at the thought of you even coming close experiencing such an emotion. Plus, the majority of you feels rather disappointed at the undesirable outcome. Whether it’s Hook’s chagrin rubbing off on you, or the voice in your head whispering that you, as his teacher, failed at your job, you can’t help but feel a bit let down at his messing up.

“Hey, it’s fine. Let’s try again,” you say softly, your usual eager-to-help manner coming back at the sight of someone needing comforting.

And so, Hook tries again. And again. And again.

Finally, after the seventh or eighth try, he puts the wand back down on the table. “I don’t know what to tell you, love. No matter how hard I try, it’s simply not working.” You sigh, looking at the floor before you, which was now littered with disks. “Hey, at least you got closer each time! That’s still progress.” You attempt to raise his spirits a bit, but he just fixes you with a look that tells you he’s not one to fall for your false positivity.

“Uhm…” You hesitate, not quite sure what to do next or how to fix this. “How about you see how I do it, and try to copy that?”

Hook gives a small nod and you fish out your wand, pulling up your sleeves and taking a deep breath to prepare. Focusing on one of the disks on the table, you start the particular movements. Up. Swish. Circle. Flick!

Both of you watch in somewhat astonishment as the ring curves perfectly through the air, flying with grace, as it lands directly in the center of the cloth.

Hook looks at you with raised eyebrows. Although that little part of you wants to rub it in his face, the fact that a hero, out of all people, bested him, you decide that torturing him with your teasing is only going to make him less likely to get the spell right.

“You see that? Now, try to copy it yourself,” you instruct.

And so, Hook makes a few more attempts, landing closer to the cloth each time, now only a couple inches away—yet never actually making contact with it.

You study his movements carefully as he casts the spell, trying to figure out what he’s doing wrong. After a few more of his failed attempts, you decide to try a different approach.

“Okay, watch me do it again, but this time come hold my wand from behind so you can get a feel for how I cast it,” you say, glancing up at Hook. “After all, it’s all in the wrist.” You recite a line your mother always says, one that often replays in your mind as you cast a spell. In your opinion, her guidance is the main reason that you’re so good at spells.

You’re still sitting down in your chair, pushing it in a little to provide room for him to come up behind you and reach your wand. 

You were expecting Hook to get rather close; after all, there aren’t many ways for two people to hold the same wand in the position you were in without a tight proximity. What you weren’t expecting was the way he comes up from behind you leisurely, deliberately. The way his chest presses into your back as he leans in, arm brushing against yours as he extends it towards the wand. The way you can feel his exhales on your skin, breathing down your neck—literally—causes goosebumps to rise up and down your arms. The way his natural aroma engulfs you completely, overwhelming your senses all at once. How his large hand feels on yours as he places it on top, curling his fingers around the wand—and yours, as well. The way you can feel the smirk dancing on his face, looking down at you with what you expect to be half-lidded eyes. 

And the way your heart races, good heavens. If you didn’t know better, you would have thought you just ran a marathon. Your body simultaneously heats up and freezes at his touches, no matter how small, your mind becoming overly aware of every point of contact you have with him. You fight against the overstimulation flooding your senses, resisting the urge to wipe your sweaty palms on your legs, while hoping that the wand doesn’t slip out of your hand as perform the incantation. 

Truth be told, although you definitely won’t admit this to anyone: you really haven’t had much experience with romance, or anything of the sorts. All your life, you’ve focused on doing good deeds and keeping up with your studies, aiming to be the best of the best in the hero world. Which is probably why no boy has ever taken interest in you; instead of going to dances or out on dates, you've always spent your Friday nights locked away in your room, studying hard to make sure you ace your exams. Plus, with your goody-two-shoes streak, you aren't exactly the most sought-out person in your class.

Which is why with the way Hook flirts with you, and now, the way you can feel his inhales and exhales against your skin—subconsciously trying to match the rhythm of his breathing—your brain is short-circuiting. The lack of romantic attention you’ve received your whole life is behind why you don't know how to react to Hook's antics, while still internally freaking out at his movements and words.

You inhale a shaky breath, trying to steady your quivering hand and hope that Hook doesn’t notice your reaction. But after the amused little hum he gives, your embarrassment grows by the second. Trying your best to focus on the task at hand, you say, “Okay, here goes.”

Up. You feel Hook’s grip tighten around your hand, just a little bit but still enough to make your heart skip a beat.

Swish. The disk vibrates with extreme intensity, to the point where you’re afraid it’ll break apart, despite the metal structure.

Circle. As you circle your wrist around, you feel Hook’s arm rub against yours even more, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. Gods, the things this man is doing to you.

Flick. You flick the wand towards the cloth yet again, jerking your head sideways to follow it as it flies across the room. Agonizing in how it ignites every nerve in your body, you feel Hook’s head brush against the top of yours as he follows your movements, watching the disk soar.

It seems, for a minute, as if it’s going to land right on top of the previous one. But to both your shocks, it falls just outside the borders of the cloth, barely touching the edge.

Your face absolutely burns in embarrassment, palms dripping with sweat now. Hook tilts his head towards yours—which you feel all too well—as he says, far closer to your ear than you would’ve liked, “Well, it seems like even the master makes mistakes, love.”

Fuming, you finally give into the urge and drop the wand to wipe your hands on your clothes. Screw him, you mentally curse. It’s all his fault. I’ve never messed up this spell before.

And as much as you want to blame him, you know that it’ll do you absolutely no good to tell him the fact that he was so close to you made your brain short-circuit to such an extent that you messed up a spell you could do since you were five.

You shake your head, refusing to accept your failure. “No, I…I don’t know what happened. It must have been a faulty disk. Just…I’m going to try again.”

Hook raises his eyebrows at you—or at least, you’re pretty sure he does, as you can’t see him from behind. You grab your wand again, and without even telling him to do so, Hook leans in and places his hand back over yours, your fingers trapped between his and the wand.

Internally, you find yourself growing impossibly more annoyed at him. Honestly, did he really have to go back to that position, the one that made you mess up the spell in the first place? You take a deep, steadying breath, forcing away all thoughts of Hook and how his dark brown eyes, beautiful and rich like the bark of the trees back in Oz, are boring into your skull right now. You simply can’t afford to get distracted again. Messing up the spell once is one thing—sure, everyone makes mistakes, don’t they? But twice? It would be absolutely inexcusable.

Twice would mean that you are not as adept as you thought you were, not talented enough in the one thing that you've been sure of for your whole life.

Remember the words.

Up, swish, circle, flick!

Fueled by your self-directed rage, you ensure that every movement you make is precise, sharp, and without a single tremor going through your hand. This time, the disk slices through the air with a clean, aerodynamic curve, and lands…

…right on top of your first one.

You beam, regaining your former confidence in your spellcasting abilities.

“The master may sometimes make mistakes, but they’re still the master,” you gloat. “Now come on, you need to practice till you get as good as that.”

You and Hook spend quite some time on practicing the spell, with you giving him pointers and him—surprisingly—improving. It seems as though your hands-on demonstration really helped him, as his skills greatly improved. 

Soon, in every set of ten rings he practiced on, he was consistently getting six or seven of them within the boundaries of the cloth, with one or two more landing on the edge, half-in. 

After one round where he managed to get nine of the disks touching the cloth—his personal best so far—you decide he needs something even more challenging.

“Woah, that was a really good round,” you praise. Hook turns to face you, and if you didn’t know any better, you would say that his normal smirk seems a little less snarky and a little more…genuine. 

“Still not as good as you, though, love,” Hook replies. You can tell he’s trying hard to maintain his nonchalant front, especially when it comes to academics, but the pride in his eyes and the earnest grip on his wand tell a different story. Honestly, you like him better this way. Less of him pretending to be a bad boy villain, and more of his real personality.

And in this moment, as you subtly study his features and think about his change in behavior over the past few hours, a thought that’s never even come close to crossing your mind suddenly pops up. What if villains, just like heroes, feel pressured to uphold a certain facade? The same way that you’ve always felt like you just have to be good, no matter the cost, no matter how hard it is for you, maybe villains feel the same way. Maybe they believe they always have to be bad, troublesome, and cruel. Even if that’s not who they truly are.

And through the lens of your new insight, you start seeing Hook in a different light. Just like how you feel as if being good and helpful and cheery all the time is a burden, how sometimes you wish you could just let loose and be selfish, maybe villains feel like being evil is a burden. Maybe Hook feels compelled to act smug and suave, even though that isn’t who he truly feels like being all the time. 

You begin to feel a deep sense of guilt for judging him based on his demeanor and criticizing his performance in class. Reflecting back, you realize that you had been unnecessarily harsh on him for something that is likely beyond his control. Gosh, I'm such an idiot, you think, shame burning your cheeks.

Shaking off your remorse, you put on another bright smile and try to respond as cheerfully as possible. “Hey, it’s still a huge improvement from sending the rings flying on top of a filing cabinet in the corner of the room. Or at innocent bystanders’ heads!” This time, you don’t encourage him because you feel pressured to do so, or because that’s who you know you’re supposed to be. You do it because deep down, in your heart, it’s what you feel like saying.

“Hmm, true,” Hook replies, angling his head to the side as he considers your point, the smallest of smiles still dancing on his lips.

“Now, for your final test.” At your statement, Hook raises a brow. “You need something different, something truly challenging. Something to prove your mastery of the Aiming Spell…”

You rack your brain for ideas, but nothing comes to mind. After a moment in silence, Hook speaks up. “I may have an idea.”

Glancing over at him, rather surprised—you were the teacher, after all—you gesture for him to go on. 

“Go stand over there by that wall,” he instructs, motioning with his hook to the wall opposite you two. “And put your hands up.”

Your eyebrows shoot up, fixing him with a look of wariness and doubt. You don’t move for a second, still too distrusting of him as you try to imagine what standing in that position has to do with casting a spell. Noticing your hesitation, Hook nods towards the wall again. “Well, go on, love.”

Still suspicious of him, you cave in and walk over to the far side of the room. Pressing your back against the wall as you raise your hands up, the position makes you feel as if you've just been caught red-handed in the midst of a crime. Hook still stands by the table, waiting patiently. You try to think back to the textbook pages you went over with him, wondering if you had accidentally taught him some sort of attack charm that he was planning to use on you.

Feeling your anxiety build, you wriggle your left fingers, wrapping your thumb and middle finger around the base of your pointer. You always wear a special, very pretty ring on that hand, a gift your mother gave to you a few years ago. Fiddling with it while twisting it around and around helps to soothe you, especially when you feel nervous.

But this time, when you go to repeat the same movement you always do, you feel the absence of the familiar metal surface and engravings etched into it. Glancing up at your hand, you confirm that your ring is indeed missing. The only trace of its former presence is the two parallel, circular indents in your skin from wearing it for so long.

Your panic skyrockets now at the loss of one of your favorite possessions, practically forgetting about Hook and the unease that accompanied his bizarre request. That ring had come with a special message; the night you got it, your mother had told you, “Remember when you were younger, and I told you that people are either good or bad? Well, that’s not quite true. No one is really black or white. We’re all just shades of gray. Some people are lighter gray, and some people are darker gray. And although we might be different shades, we all fall under the same color. Remember that, Y/N.”

And you have remembered it. Every time you go to toy with your ring, those words echo in your mind. Your mom had embedded the ring with a marble featuring a swirl of many different shades of gray, a reminder of the message that came along with it. You were too young to truly understand her words back then, but now, especially in these recent moments, you think you’re starting to fully grasp what she meant.

Snapping back to the present, you realize the serious problem you have at hand. “My ring!” you cry. “I could have sworn I had it when I came here…”

“Looking for this?” Hook’s smirk is back in full force. His left arm is raised, and on the crest of his polished metal hook, your precious ring glimmers under the golden lights projected from the ceiling.

“You…! When did you even…” your voice trails off as your mind catches up to your mouth. It must have been when he leaned in, while you were demonstrating the spell. That was the only time he had gotten close enough to you, although you don’t know how in the world he nicked it off your finger without you having the slightest hint.

Then you remember, quite painfully, how flustered you had been in that moment. If you were so distracted that you couldn't even cast a simple spell right, then you certainly wouldn’t have had enough brainpower to notice a skilled thief steal from you.

“Hey! Give that back!” you exclaim, huffing angrily, a frown etched deep into your face.

“I will, darling,” Hook replies smugly. “Now, raise your hands up again. And don’t wiggle your fingers around this time.”

“Give me my ring back first!” you demand, your previous annoyance towards him coming right back.

“Let me do this first, and then you’ll get your ring. Hands up.” At your glare, Hook tilts his head to the side and gives you a look. “Don’t you trust me?”

Well, of course not, is the first thought that pops into your mind. You’re a liar and a thief, and above all, a villain.

But then you remember your mother’s words, your earlier revelation and how, just for a moment, you glimpsed Hook through a different light. So, although you definitely won't go as far as saying that you trust him, you still empathize with him enough to give in to his request.

Wordlessly, you raise your hands back up to your sides, palms facing in front of you, while fighting the urge to fidget again. You debate whether or not it’d be best to close your eyes for this, but you ultimately decide that if Hook does try to pull any more of his little tricks, all your senses should be sharp and aware.

And so you stand, frozen, as Hook raises the wand. For a second, you think he’s going to cast the spell on you. But instead, he uses his good hand to remove the ring from where it’s stuck in his hook, instead placing it dangling from the tip. He points his wand at the ring, repeating the maneuvers you two practiced so many times.

Up. The ring lifts off his hook and levitates just in front of him.

Swish. It starts vibrating like the disks, but due to its small size, your cherished ring begins to rotate on its axis.

Circle. With Hook’s circular movement of the wand, the ring’s spinning accelerates, locking on to its target—whatever that is.

Flick. For one final time, Hook flicks his wrist, this time towards you.

You watch, your heart pounding as fast as ever, as the ring—your ring—curves through the sky as it falls, getting closer and closer to you. You slam your eyes shut for just a beat, unable to bear the anticipation, before remembering your earlier rationale again.

Eyes flying open instantly, you regain your vision just as the ring falls, falls, falls, landing…

…directly on your finger.

But not the finger that you previously wore it on. Your eyes widen again in disbelief as it slips perfectly around your ring finger.

“Uh…I…uhm…” you stammer, confused and shocked and overwhelmed with far too many things at once to form a coherent sentence. How in the world did he cast such a precise Aiming Spell, in a situation where it wouldn’t have succeeded had he been even a centimeter off? And if he was so precise with his location pinpointing, then why in the world did he put it on your left ring finger??

“Come on, spit it out, love,” Hook replies teasingly. “You can say it, don’t be afraid.”

Your mind is working far too hard for you to shoot him a glare, but you mentally do it anyway. “That was…impressive,” you finally admit, although you wish you didn’t when Hook’s smug grin grows twice as wide. Ugh, his ego is already big enough. I did not need to inflate it like that.

“Could you always cast the spell that well?” you ask, still stunned at his precision. You honestly couldn’t see how anyone who had been sending disks flying all across the room a mere few hours ago was now casting spells with the accuracy of someone who had been doing this for years.

“Why, of course not. You saw how I was earlier.” Hook’s grin grows even wider as he adds, “It’s all because I had a wonderful teacher.”

You still frown at him skeptically, walking back towards the table where he stands. “I highly doubt it’s because of that. I mean, I don’t know if even I could pull something like that off with such little practice.”

At this, Hook gives a little laugh. “What do they say, the student exceeds the teacher?”

You roll your eyes at him. “No, they call it ‘beginner’s luck.’ You should be happy you got it right this time, because you might not get so lucky on your exams.”

Hook grins again, and as much as you detest the pleasure he gets from teasing you—and though you’d never admit it—a small, dark gray part of you enjoys the playful banter between you two.

“That’s why I have you, darling. If I ever need more help, I’ll know who to run to.” He leans in close to you, so close, until his mouth is right next to your ear. You start having flashbacks to your previous experiences with Hook being in a close proximity, and the combined feelings from both your memories and his current actions causes your body to heat up in a way you didn’t even know was possible. 

He tilts his head down ever so slightly towards you, his lips feathering across your ear. “And you won’t be able to get out of helping me, my little goody-goody.”

Your mind is absolutely spinning at his words, his touch, his presence, his everything. You desperately struggle to formulate some sort of response, but just as you open your mouth, ready to question his choice of ring placement, a deep, low horn sounds, reverberating off the walls.

Curfew.

Hook breaks away from you as you glance down at your wristwatch. The clock shows exactly 10:00. Gods, how did the time pass by so quickly?

You glance back up at Hook, deciding to ignore the way he so alluringly whispered in your ear just seconds ago. “Well, uh, we have to get going, then,” you awkwardly say, scratching at your neck.

Hook stands there for a moment, staring at you whilst completely motionless, making you wonder what he’s thinking and what he’s planning to do. Just as you’re about to bid him a goodnight and turn away, he reaches his good hand out, grabbing your left one. He holds it delicately in his hand, his palm cupped upwards with your fingers resting gently on top.

Slowly, and while keeping his head up just enough to maintain eye contact with you the entire way down, he bends into a bow in front of you. Only does he avert his gaze when he finally reaches your hand, looking down at your ring, which still sits on your ring finger, as he places a kiss on the bright stone.

He peers back up at you, deep brown eyes wide and expressive.

“Until we meet again, m’lady.”

on to part 2! ->

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a/n: the demons I had to fight to not name this "if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it" haha. anyways thanks for reading!

do not plagiarize, translate, remake, or copy my works, including my writing and images, in any way.

[mynameismckenziemae]

All of Me

Part 16

(previous part here, next part here)

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x You

Summary: You and Jake start your last full day together right before Drew returns from camp. An unexpected visitor lifts the final weight from your shoulders.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI! Smut, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), overstimulation, unprotected p in v.

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

The next morning you wake up to your phone ringing; an incoming FaceTime from Drew.

“Hey, Jake?” you mumble, reaching behind you to warn him but he’s not there, though the bed is still warm.

You yawn as you answer. “Hey, bud.”

“Hi Mom,” his cute, smiling face greets you, “are you still in bed?”

“Yeah, I didn’t sleep that great last night,” you lie. You had actually slept great.

“Oh,” he says, “were you having nightmares again?”

“No,” you shake your head, sad that he’s woken up to your cries in the past, “I actually haven’t had a nightmare in a while.”

Not since that night you woke Jake and he comforted you.

“That’s good! Hey, is Jake there? Can I say hi?” He asks, looking behind you.

“No,” you laugh, “why would he be over at…” you squint at the time in the corner of the screen, “8:12 in the morning?”

“Don’t boyfriends and girlfriends have sleepovers? He slept over the night before camp,” he replies, “and that was before you guys were boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Busted.

“Uh, well…,” you scramble for an age-appropriate answer, “sometimes? Like when you’re an adult and you’ve been dating a long time.”

“Oh,” he replies, considering your words before shrugging. “Okay.”

“How’s camp?” You ask, changing the subject quickly as you hear the front door open.

“Good! It’s so much fun, Mom. Can I come back next year? I know how to use a bow and arrow now! Oh, and guess what? I jumped off the diving board! And you know how I hate carrots? Well, last night, one of the counselors dared me to try one and I actually liked it! Can you cook carrots the way they do here? I think they…” he rambles, hardly taking a breath as you walk down the stairs and into the kitchen. “Look, there’s Jake! Hey Jake!”

“Drew! Hey!” Jake lights up like a kid on Christmas when he hears your son’s voice. He sets down the food he picked up to rest his chin on your shoulder and wrap his arms around your waist. “I’ve missed you, man. How’s camp?”

Your eyes can’t seem to look away from the right lower corner of your screen; Jake’s smile is so sweet and genuine as Drew responds that it brings tears to your eyes. You turn your head to kiss his cheek as the remainder of the wall around your heart comes crumbling down. Jake’s smile widens as if he could feel it too.

“Mom!” Drew giggles, covering his eyes, “gross!”

“Sorry,” you laugh as your face heats, “what were you saying? There’s a huge spider in the showers?”

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

Drew shows off the cabin and his sleeping quarters next. You ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ when appropriate but can’t help but be distracted by Jake’s thumb mindlessly brushing the skin under your breast as he listens too.

Drew says goodbye a few minutes later and you turn to him for a real kiss as the screen goes dark.

He breaks it to guide his old t-shirt over your head before walking you back to the island. Your squeal as he lifts you turns into a gasp when your bare behind meets the cold granite countertop.

He steps between your legs, forcing them apart, finding your lips again, and licking into your mouth. His hands slide up your thighs, over your stomach to flick the already-sensitive peaks of your nipples.

“Just like that,” you sigh, running your hands through his hair when he ducks his head, giving your breasts some attention with his mouth too.

He switches between rough sucks, soft licks, and light nips with his teeth, quickly working you into a tizzy. His position between your drenched thighs doesn’t allow you to get any friction.

“More,” you plead, pulling him off your breasts as you reach your breaking point to look him in the eye. “Please baby,” you murmur, pressing your mouth to his before nipping his lower lip, “touch me?”

“Alright,” he agrees, pulling you to the edge of the counter before sinking to his knees, “since you asked so nicely.”

He sucks a bruise into your thigh, kissing it better and placing it over his shoulder before doing the same to the other.

Your back arches and your heels dig into his back when he wastes no more time and begins to devour you, “Yes,” you sigh, “like that! You’re so…so-fuck!”

He hums against your clit at your inability to find words and the vibration sends a shiver through your body. It just spurs him on more and he grips your thighs to pull you impossibly closer, nudging your clit with his nose as his tongue licks inside you.

“You taste so fucking good,” he groans before working his tongue faster, “come on, soak my face.”

Your hands in his hair tug and you cry out as you do just that, grinding against his eager mouth to prolong the pleasure coursing through you.

“Need you inside me,” you beg before you even come down.

“Okay,” he smiles, sliding his hand under your thigh and pushing two fingers inside you, “like this?”

“No,” you whine, but then he curls them against your g-spot. “Wait-okay, yeah.”

He chuckles and leans in again to flick his tongue against your clit, setting you off again and then again before you can catch your breath.

“Jake!” You cry as he continues, your hands tighten in his hair; unsure whether to push him away or keep him there.

He doesn’t stop, pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you making you soon feel like a raw, exposed nerve. You don’t realize you’re holding your breath until the edges of your vision darken.

“Breathe,” Jake reminds you as he pushes to his feet. He guides your ankles up to his shoulders and grips your shoulders to thrust inside your still-clenching pussy. “Oh fuckkkk.”

You mewl as he fucks you with deep, bruising thrusts. He releases his hold on one of your shoulders to trail his hand down, meanly pinching each nipple making your eyes roll back in your head.

“You like that,” he observes, pinching again, “you’re squeezin’ me so tight.”

You open your mouth to agree but the words get lost on your tongue when he changes the angle of his hips and instead, you nod dumbly in agreement.

He chuckles, finally sliding his hand lower; the first brush of his fingertips over your clit sets you off again.

Jake’s hips stutter and his eyes clench shut as he fights the urge to not follow you over the edge as your pussy contracts rhythmically around him, but he doesn’t stop.

“Gimme another,” he pants, voice low and seductive but you can hear the desperation under the surface. He opens his eyes and turns his head to kiss your ankle, “one more, sweetheart.”

His green gaze meets yours and you feel like time stops as something passes between you two.

“Jake,” you start, wanting him to know how you feel, “I-oh God,” you wail as the pleasure consumes you once more.

“Reese! Fuck,” he chokes, hips slowing to a stop as he fills you up.

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

I love you.

It’s scary and it’s beautiful and it’s exciting and the very first thought that crosses your mind when you come back to your body. Jake has brought you to the bathroom and is humming as he gently cleans between your thighs.

I love you.

“I’ve gotta change my oil at some point, but I was thinking I could pick some stuff up while I’m out so I could grill this afternoon? Invite Bradshaw?” He tilts your chin to look at him when you don’t answer, “Reese?”

I love you.

“Yeah,” you smile, “that sounds good.”

I love you.

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

There’s a knock at the door a few minutes after he leaves.

“Jake, how many times do I have to tell you? You don’t have to-“ your laughter dies in your throat as you open the door, “-knock. Oh, hey Tina.”

Your face heats as she grins knowingly.

“You know you don’t have to knock either,” you say as you hug her. The little tension left in your body leaves when you do. She’s the mom you never had and a hug from her is just what you need right now.

“I do know, but I figure I better start since you’ve got a new man in your life,” the smile is evident in her voice as she squeezes you before letting go, “especially since Drew’s gone.”

“Damn it Bradley,” you roll your eyes, padding into the kitchen.

“He actually didn’t say anything…until I asked. I’ve been noticing the truck in your driveway and, well, you know how nosey I am,” she sighs, pulling out two coffee cups before putting a pot on.

You smile as you sit at the island that Jake just rearranged your guts at. “I have been meaning to tell you, it’s just…”

I don’t want to lose you too. Drew needs you. I need you.

“I know honey,” she says, voice watery as she turns. She’s always been able to read your mind. “I know. We’re not going anywhere though. I don’t think he is either. Bradley said that boy is head over heels. He also has nothing but good things to say about him…so does Iceman and Mav and Penny…”

“Oh Tina, I love you,” you laugh as you shake your head.

“Love you too,” she winks before pouring coffee into your cups and getting the creamer from the fridge. “Tell me about him.”

“Sounds like you should be telling me,” you grin at her sheepish look. “Hey,” you reach over to squeeze her hand, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For avoiding you,” you admit, “well…not exactly ‘avoiding’ you, but I have been avoiding telling you.”

“It’s okay,” she replies softly, “I understand. This is new, and a little scary to all of us.”

You nod. It is scary. But also exciting.

“Now. Tell me everything,” she smiles as she takes a sip.

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

So you do, leaving out the R-rated parts of course.

“…and I think I might be in love with him, Tina,” you whisper, afraid to look at her. “That’s crazy, right? We’ve only known each other for like 2 months.”

“You’re asking the wrong person,” she winks, “Ron proposed after 6 weeks.”

“True,” you smile, “I just…Drew. I’m scared of seeing Drew get hurt.”

“From everything I’ve heard so far, that isn’t going to happen,” she answers.

“But what if it doesn’t work? And we break up? Drew has already lost so much…” you reply.

“Then you’ll get through it together, just like you’ve gotten through everything else in life,” she answers, coming around the island to give you another hug.

“Okay,” you whisper, feeling the final weight from your shoulders lift, “okay.”

“Hey sweetheart,” Jake calls as he opens the front door and heads to the kitchen, “Bradshaw will be here around 3. I was wondering if you’d want to invite Ron and…Tina,” he smiles charmingly as he spots her, setting down the groceries, “Hi, nice to see you again.”

“Nice to see you too, and we’d love to come,” she answers with a smile.

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

A/N: big feelings in this chapter. Also some oral and p in v on the kitchen island (inspired by that one scene in Hit Man). What did ya think?

Also I think I’ve got at least one more chapter…maybe two before I start tandem writing A Little But Stronger. Can’t wait to show you guys that one too!

As always, any interaction is appreciated but I love hearing what you think in the comments/reblogs!

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[reareaotaku]

Fear and Anxiety

Summary: Eddie is annoyed when you get sick/hurt. Characters: Yandere! Aged Up! Eddie Kaspbrak x Reader Tw: Injured/Sick Reader, Care-Taker Eddie, Controlling Eddie

"Richie- Slow down!"

It seemed he didn't hear you, because he pushed you down the hill in the worn out tire as you screamed for help. What neither of you expected was for you to run into a rock and for you to come flying out.

Richie gasps and quickly runs down the hill. "Shit. Shit. Shit! Eddie is going to kill me."

-----

"God, I don't feel so good," You cover your mouth, feeling your head spin. You bent down, covering your mouth, holding down the vomit. You looked down at the pale water as it spun in the toilet.

"I don't know what wrong with you two."

You groaned, not looking up at the man standing over you, holding your hair. "Oh, we were just having fun-"

"And look where you are now." He interrupts you and you look back at him, with blurred vision.

"It's no big-" You then puked into the toilet, before finally standing up, though you quickly catch yourself on the vanity.

Eddie flushes the toilet, grabbing you, and leading you to your room. He sits you down softly, before sitting on the edge of the bed. "So, are you going to tell me what happened?" He sounded like a dad scolding you.

You groaned heavier, turning away from him, "You're just going to scold me."

"Of course, I am! You're sick from smoking and eating to much," He then grabs your hand to show a nasty bruise, "And who knows how you got it."

You chuckle, "You should see my leg." For some reason, you must have been high or something, because you lifted up your pants to show Eddie a huge purplish-yellow bruise that was the sign of your hand. You should have just kept your big mouth shut, because Eddie lost his mind.

"What the hell happened to your leg!" He grabbed your ankle and pulled you closer to him, "God, does it hurt-" He facepalms, "Of course it hurts. I'm getting an ice pack," He then looks towards your pillows, before grabbing two besides you and putting the under your lower thigh. "I'll be right back."

You close your eyes, moaning to yourself. It was a blur what was going on and you weren't really aware of what was happening. Though, you did feel something cold touch your bruised area causing you to wince. He apologized, but put it back on, hoping to bring down the swelling.

"I told Richie to be careful with you. He always does this. You always end up hurt. What did the two of you even do?" He grabs some bandages from his bag, then takes off the ice bag, before wrapping up the bruise. Eddie could feel his blood boil as he thought about it. Richie is spontaneous and reckless and you're impressionable, making it easier for you both to do stupid things.

"It's fine. God, you should of been there-"

"Yeah, I would have stopped the two of you."

You roll your eyes, while shaking your head. "Boo! You're no fun, Eddie," You sit up, tilting your head, causing him to grab your cheeks and set you back down.

"You need to lay down, Y/n."

"No, I'm fine-"

You slumped down, almost hitting your head, but luckily Eddie caught you. "Oh, yeah you're so fine. But not the fine you're think of. You're not leaving this bed until you're healed."

"It's no big deal. It's just a few bruises-"

"And you were puking."

"From eating to much."

"Which wouldn't have happened if I was there."

"You're such a mother hen, Eddie. You're lucky I love you."

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes, "Yeah, I'm the lucky one." He sighs, "I wonder how you've lived this long without me."

"Ahh, I've been doing just fine."

"Sure, babe," He remarks, shaking his head. "Says the one with bruises to the guy that's perfectly bruise-less."

"Because you don't do anything fun," You joke as Eddie massages your leg. You leaned on your pillow, sighing. Your eyes begin to close as you slowly fade into sleep.

"I'd rather you be safe and bored than in danger and having fun."

[theetherealbloom]

UNEVEN ODDS - CH. 6

Chapter Six: I Swear A Million Times To Hold You Just The Way You Like

Summary: The Reader is dragged into the Last of Us universe and has no choice but to watch the events unfold or will she be able to change what was already written?

Paring: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER AHH, (besties wrap it up!) Lowkey this chapter was poorly edited so sorry! Age-gap Romance, Violence, ANGST, Swearing, Suicide, FLUFF, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Crying, Suggestive content, the pandemic, character death, INFECTED, MY SCIENCE IS WONKY, probable plot holes, rusty writing, TLOU is dark please read at your own risk! (MINORS, please run away :,)

Word Count: 17.3k (I hope this makes up for the delay my bad)

A/N: HELLAUR HOOMANS! Thank you again for all the love and support you have given me for this series! I truly appreciate you all for being here <3 This chapter and episode feels a little bit personal to write since I am someone who also has PTSD, so when I watched Pedro’s performance during those difficult panic attack scenes, I truly felt represented and seen. For me, my PTSD is subtle and not overly loud or noticeable at first glance, so when I saw it being portrayed that way I started ugly crying pls--

Song: Sweet Disaster by Oh Wonder

Previous Chapter -> Next Chapter | Series Masterlist

TLOU WORLD – 2023

THREE MONTHS LATER…

WYOMING WILDERNESS, HEADING WEST – DAY

It’s been three months since the incident, and neither of you spoke about what happened that morning in Kansas City. The past few months of walking West have proven a challenge as the seasons begin to change. As you suspected, you noticed Joel slowly let Ellie in; he taught her how to look for tracks and how to properly keep watch the first time he fell asleep. Her questioning, her loving attitude, her nasty language, everything entered his heart gradually. He hadn't planned on it, but he now cares for her. You, on the other hand, were already fond of her, you taught her the more “fun” activities. Like looking for more constellations as time passes by, continuing educating her ASL, and teaching a few of your favorite songs from your original reality.

You occasionally hummed as the seasons changed, trying to fill the silence and somber with music. Joel and Ellie didn’t seem to mind, you asked if they were bothered or annoyed but Joel grunted, “Better than Ellie asking a million more questions.” You simply chuckled while Ellie protested and began to defend herself. And then there were the moments you couldn’t quite label. Small touches between you and Joel, providing each other comfort now and then, knowing how bad the loneliness can get to anyone. A squeeze on your shoulder, the brushing of fingers, and if you were lucky, you’d get to hold his hand for a period of time as you trekked through the terrain. You swore there were times you felt his gaze roaming every mile of skin you had, but every time you turned to look he was already busy doing something else.

The branches have exchanged their leaves for white sleeves and all warm-blooded creatures make ghosts as they breathe. As gentle as feathers, the snow piles high, this world gets rewritten and retraced every time. After seeing Cody crawling with infected, you three headed out to the large forest to find out if Tommy is still alive and in hiding. Even Ellie tried to point out that there was a possibility he didn’t make it, but as Joel had said before, he was persistent.

You came across a cozy cabin hidden in the forest. Realizing you had no other options, you had to ask for directions to where you were at the moment. A quiet and nice old lady, named Florence had resided and mentioned she was with her husband, Marlon. After making the soup she told three of you that her husband wouldn’t be happy they were in their home. You peeked past the curtains and out the window you saw he husband returning from hunting in the forest, hanging out two white rabbits by the door. Marlon walked inside his home to find her wife sitting upon the rocking chair, her gaze slowly moving towards Joel, him with his revolver out while you and Ellie are upstairs, quietly watching from the mezzanine.

Marlon reluctantly places his bow and arrows on the side entry table, removes his gloves, and unzips his outer jacket, while Joel grumbles out, “And the gun.” Marlon grunts, “Who the hell are you?” Joel walks a bit closer while demanding for him to cooperate, he says, “Just someone passing through. Take the gun out, two fingers only, put it out of reach.” The senior does as he’s told and places it on the other table and asks his wife who was quietly watching the interaction, “Why didn’t you shoot him?” She continues rocking back and forth, “The gun’s all the way over there. He didn’t hurt me by the way.”

“Yeah, I got eyes.” He nonchalantly replies and spots the empty soup bowl on the wooden living room table, “You made him soup?”  Florence gives his husband an obvious answer, "Yeah, I did. It’s cold out.” He simply shakes his head and sits down on his own chair. “I’m looking for my brother.” Joel states and the other man replies and removes his cap, “Well, I ain’t seen him.” Your cowboy shakes his head, “I haven’t told you what he looks like.”

“He look anything like you?” He asks and Joel tilts his head, “A bit.”

Ellie taps your arm and whispers to you, “It’s you and Joel from the future.” You frown and shake your head as you whisper back to her, “No.” The young girl rolls her eyes, “Whatever, you should see the way he looks at you when you’re not paying attention.” You blink at her, and you’re seemingly left speechless.

“Then I ain’t seen him,” He says, “He’s got a girl and his wife with him.” You hear Florence say and you nearly choke on air in surprise. Joel turns to look at her, pissed, and confused, and didn’t even bother to correct her. Ellie yells next to you, “Can I come down?” Joel raises his voice at her, “No! Ellie!” You couldn’t stop her as she excitedly runs downstairs, and you have no choice but to follow her.

The elderly couple laughs knowingly, Joel looks at you and Ellie, “What did I just say?” And you give him an apologetic look and Ellie replies, “Joel, come on. They’re like a thousand.” Marlon questions aloud,  “Who’s this little psycho and her mother?” Your mouth slightly parted open, about to inform him that you weren’t married to Joel and you weren’t her mother but Joel dismissed it, “Never mind them. I need you to tell us where we are.” He went to the middle of the living room, shoving the map in his direction, cheekily the man throws back, “If you got a map, why you lost?” Ellie’s lips turn downwards as she replies sarcastically, “Must’ve missed all the street signs in the enormous fucking forest.”

Marlon whistles out, “Holy.” And Florence chuckles, still enjoying the excitement that they haven’t had in years. Joel sighs and points out on the map, “We’re somewhere here. Exactly where? And your answer better be the same as your wife’s.” Marlon glances back at his wife, “Did you tell him the truth?” She nods, “Yeah.” He raises an eyebrow at her, “Are you telling me the truth?” She doesn’t hesitate, “Yeah.” He lets out a deep exhale as he leans over, pointing where you all were currently.

Joel places his revolver back in his holster, his eyebrows are furrowed and he sighs in frustration, “Well, you found a great place to hide, I guess.” He sits down and you sit right next to him and Ellie mimics you both. “Hide? Came here before you were born, sonny. Get the hell away from everybody.” Marlon replied as his wife gives her input, “I didn’t want to.” He grumpily waves her off and you lean next to Ellie, “Okay, there’s some truth in what you said.” She gives you a smirk in response.

“Listen, I didn’t mean to upset you about your brother but if you’ve come this far, then you know what’s out there. You seen Cody?” Marlon asked while Joel clenches his jaw, and Ellie replies, “Yeah, got close enough. It’s crawling with Infected.” He hums in agreement, “Yeah, Laramie and Wind River Reservation. Anywhere people used to be, you can’t go there no more.” Joel doesn’t give up and asks, “So you haven’t heard the name, ‘Tommy’?”

“Nope.” He simply says and Ellie questions, “What about the Fireflies?” Florence replies this time, “We get those in the summer.” The young girl frowns, “Not the bugs, the people.” Cluelessly the woman asks, “There are firefly people?” Her husband chuckles and Joel's frown grows deeper, creating harsh lines on his forehead, “You got any advice on the best way west?” The senior man doesn’t miss a beat, “Yeah. Go east. But you never go past the river here.” He then points to a specific location on the map, the blue stream that flows across the paper, “Ever.”

“What’s past the river?” Ellie asked, brave and a little naive, the kind wise Florence replies, “Death. We never see who’s out there but we see the bodies they leave behind. Some infected, some not.” She turns to look at Joel, “If your brother is west of the river, he’s gone.” You lift your eyes to the man next to you, Joel has his eyebrows pinched, his gaze distant, and the lines by the side of his mouth are evident. Your heart sinks at the chance that the elderly couple might be right. “You’re not gonna scare us,” Ellie softly says and the woman answers, “Scared him.” Her husband chuckles and Joel scrambles to get out of there, not saying a single word, he’s grabbing the map and packs up the rest of his things.

You and Ellie are quick to follow after him as she comments, “You don’t seriously believe them.” Joel’s footsteps are loud with every crunch of snow, “They’ve lived here a long time.” He turns and you do too to see Ellie grab a rabbit, “Put that back.” Ellie doesn’t listen and swings the dead rabbit behind her back, “They don’t know anything. Never heard of the fireflies.” Joel unexpectedly stops walking, and you can hear his breathing become labored as he places his hand on the wooden fence, you angle your head to the right in confusion and concern.

Joel only hears muffled echoes as the ringing in his ears overpowers his senses, “Joel? Are you okay?” You softly ask and there is no response, you hear Ellie begin to worry as well and lines begin to form across your forehead. “Shut up.” His voice was barely audible as he places his hand on his chest. You jerk back, but you try to decode what was happening. Ellie then asks him, “Holy shit. Are you dying?” He shakes his head in response, “I’m okay.” But the world seems to spin around him, his vision feels blurry and the weightlessness he feels is unsettling, unable to process the news he had just heard and the possible chance his brother is no longer alive. The further he goes West, the more his paternal empathy is starting to merge Ellie and Sarah into one.

Yours and Ellie’s voices merge into one large echo as you both try and make sure he’s alright. “I’m fine.” You both don’t buy it, “No, no, but are you? Because just a reminder that if you’re dead, we’re fucked.” Ellie said, referring to both of you, which seemingly brings Joel grounded remembering he is now a caretaker and guardian to the both of you, he turns to you as he assures, “I said I’m fine. It’s just the… cold air all of a sudden.”

You don’t buy it one bit but you don’t want to diagnose him immediately so you keep silent and listen to Ellie speak as she marches on forward while ducking under the wooden fence, “All right, uh… let’s go and find Tommy and, and the Fireflies.” Joel grunts and looks at you and you avert your eyes from him, quickly following Ellie.

“It’s gonna be easy,” Ellie said, stumbling a little but marching on, “All we have to do is cross the River of Death.”

All the bruises seem to surface like mud beneath the snow, your feet dug into the snow, a small thin path of footprints lay behind me, telling me where you have come from, but not where you are going. The winds were cold, almost freezing your skin with a simple touch. The icy winds blew against your jacket, the fabric keeping you warm, enough to feel comfortable but not to keep your cold thoughts away. You knew about Jackson, but you weren’t entirely sure where exactly the town was. You silently hope Tommy was fine and nothing had changed.

You gazed around the land, nothing but unending snow and ice, almost a hint that this land had gotten incredibly secluded through the years. After the trees reached the sky, children laughed and played, and the sounds of birds chirping in the woods woke me up from my long rest. It was almost as if the world itself was a part of you, but now that everything has turned frigid and awful, you hardly recognize it.

You see a river stream to your left, Ellie stops to look at it and rolls her eyes as she sarcastically says, “The River of Death. Scary.” Joel sighs, “Don’t start. It’s too close to dark. There’s some caves along the river. We’ll set up camp there, cross in the mornin’.” Ellie smiles, “Good. I’m starving. Should’ve stolen two rabbits.” You ruffle her hair a little bit and Joel replies, “We can get our own rabbits.” 

Ellie excitedly asks as she looks up at Joel, “You gonna teach me how? You taught Birdie.” You bite back a smile from the memory, his entire firm body was behind you, hands on either side of you, the ghost of his breath as he whispered instructions creating a trail of goosebumps. If you were being honest, you were very close to kissing him, but you were too afraid to mess it all up, to ask if he felt it too, and continued to wait for him to be ready. “Just keep movin’.” Joel dismisses her and the girl sighs in frustration and exhaustion. You look to Joel, your eyes gazing into his brown ones, hoping that if you stare long enough you could magically read his mind, then turned to trail after Ellie.

WYOMING WILDERNESS, CAVE – NIGHT

Your campfire appeared to echo the starlight and bounced off the walls of the small cave as if the flames so close and so distant had so very much to say to one another. It crackled and spat before hissing into life. Its lambent light stole away the velvet-black shadows dancing on the wall. As that dry, withered stump slowly releases years and years of energy soaked up from the sun, the air, and the ground around it, outcome bright lights, whispering hisses, sizzling pops, and a thick, intoxicating smell of musky smoke and pine needles.

You sit atop a large rock by the edge with Ellie, both of your heads are tilted up, black heavens are the perfect stage upon which the brightest of hues dance. You could watch the aurora lights for infinity and always see that it is new, a unique moment and beauty in all of existence. Rays of light fall from the sky, making drapes that stretch across the sky. And they are reminiscent of fluttering drapes or curtains in the wind. There is also a violet and a crimson trim at the bottom and top ends. Sometimes the hues are blended together and braided into one another. New beams of light streaming down from space cause the curtains to vanish and reappear.

Joel looks up to find you both whispering and giggling, you are pointing up at the sky and moving excitedly as you explained the glow from the stars and the infinite rays of light creating waves in the cold midnight sky. He watches Ellie lean her head on your shoulder and you gently rub her back, eventually giving her a light squeeze as a form of a side hug. He brings his fingers to his lips, and a shrill attention-grabbing pierces through the air, both of you swiftly turn your attention to Joel who says, “Come down from there. You’re both gonna break your necks.”

You and Ellie make your way down the high rock, and both of you walk to Joel who was sipping from his flask. Ellie curiously asks Joel, “Ahh… Can I have some?” He shakes his head at her, “No.” The fourteen-year-old whines, “What? Just to warm up. C’mon.” Joel looks at you, and you were surprised he wanted your input or permission. You simply nodded, letting him give the metal flask to Ellie which she receives with a bright smile, she raises it in thanks and takes a large sip. Her face twists into a sour expression, her eyes shut for a brief moment while her eyebrows meet in the middle, “Yep… still gross.” Ellie hands it back to Joel and he asks if you want some to which you respond with a shake of your head. She lets out a little cough and Joel quietly sips from his flask.

“So, I’ve been thinking. Let’s say we find the Fireflies, it all works, they draw my blood and put it through some of their fancy machines and make a cure.” Ellie says and you watch Joel shift his eyes a bit, trying to figure out where this is heading, “Okay?” Ellie raises her eyebrows as she asks aloud, “Then what? Like, what do we do?” Joel raises his defenses, trying to keep the invisible bricks intact steady, “Oh, it’s ‘we’?” Unintentionally you sigh loudly in exasperation, looking at Joel with your eyelids heavy, you nervously lick the bottom of your lip and cling to your patience as it slowly slips through your fingers like sand. Ellie also sighs and reforms her question, “Okay, fine. Whatever. You. Her. You both can do anything you want. Where are you going? What are you doing?”

Joel clears his throat, “It’s never been an option. Maybe… an old farmhouse, some land… a ranch.” Ellie encourages him to continue, “Cool. What kind?” He replies while he smugly looks at Ellie “Sheep. I would raise sheep. They’re quiet… do what they’re told.” Ellie rolls her eyes and nods, “Yeah, yeah. Okay. So, just you and a buncha sheep. Romantic.” You smile at the thought of him living a domesticated life, no more danger or violence, just simple and safe. Joel hesitates a little before asking Ellie, “And what about you? Where are you gonna go?”

She raises her head high, looking up at the full midnight moon glimmering bright along with the twinkling stars, “It’s probably cause I grew up in the QZ. Behind you, there’s ocean, and ahead of you, there’s a wall. Nowhere else to look but up. I read everything I could in the school library. Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Jim Lovell. But you know who my favorite is?” You create creases beneath your eyes as you smile widely, having a pretty good guess as to who. You and Joel say the same thing at the same time, “Sally Ride.” Ellie grins, “Sally fuckin’ Ride! Best astronaut name ever. How about you Birdie?” You blink twice, “What?” She raises an eyebrow, “What are you gonna do when after I save the world? Are you gonna try to go back to your world or whatever?”

You've trusted and refused every compass you've followed, and the same is true of an ever-changing concept of right. You wrap your arms around your middle, and your shoulders rise and fall as you breathe, “Um… I actually haven’t thought about that. I don’t know.” She looks at you with confusion and questions “Don’t you want to go back home?” Her inquiry causes you to shrink into yourself a little more, not wanting to answer, craving to distance yourself from Joel and Ellie’s gaze. You swallow nervously and look down at your worn-out boots, “I… Maybe. It might take a long time before I could figure out something. But to be honest Ellie, I never felt… at home there. So many things that I had before, but they don't matter to me now.”

Then it becomes quiet for a bit, you watch Ellie blink a couple of times, the crackling bright glow of the orange fire illuminating on side of her face, as she begins to question the future before her, she couldn’t help but wonder, “It’ll work, right? The vaccine?” Joel looks down unsure, “It’s a little late to start wonderin’.”

“I tried, with Sam,” Ellie says as she doesn’t bring her eyes to either of you, your eyes soften at her admittance, none of you have talked about what had happened, not wanting to dwell on the past too much, but to hear her finally bring it up giving you a sense of pride, for her to have the courage to speak about something so traumatic. Joel continued the conversation by asking her what she meant, “Tried what?” She still couldn’t bring herself to look at either of you, choosing to gaze into the campfire, “I knew he was infected. I rubbed some of my blood into his bite. I know, I know, it was stupid. But I… I wanted to save him.” Joel softly says, the wind carrying his words into the night, “Well, I reckon it’s a lot more complicated than that. Marlene, she’s a lotta things, but… she’s no fool. If she says they can do it, they can do it.” Ellie doesn’t say anything as she nods and he takes a large gulp from his flask, throwing his head back as he does.

The fire crackles loudly, but Ellie’s voice could be heard as she asked, “You wanna take first watch or second?” Joel grunts out, “I’ll do both. Get some sleep.” You opened your mouth to dispute him, saying that you could do the first watch but he doesn’t let you get a single syllable in as he narrows his eyes at you, “No.” You huff in annoyance and say nothing. You and Ellie get up to go deeper into the cave as Joel says to the both of you while grabbing his rifle, “Dream of… going home to sheep ranches on the moon.” Ellie gives him another nod, “I will.” 

WYOMING WILDERNESS, CAVE – EARLY MORNING

The snow forest feels to the rest of the world like a gift waiting to be opened. Upon the ascent of the daylight, the wilderness is so bitter cold. It exudes a clean aura that invites the soul to pause for a minute and allow the sight to permeate the soul. You live in the moment, the past is always gone, and each day is something new, a stepping stone into a future you dream of even in the cold. The last of the morning stars were blinking out tragically above you. They glowed like bling-silver grains of sand in the early sky. It was a sight to see as their bejeweled splendor faded into nothingness. A ghostly, orb-white winter moon lingered there, eerily similar to a faint strobe light. A halo of brilliant golden encircled its waning brilliance. The sky around it was a vast sheet of grate-grey, with a plum-purple hue near the horizon.

You woke up a bit earlier than usual, and you found Joel passed out, laying on his side and using his jacket as a pillow. You could hear the birds squawking from above the trees, and see the campfire had dimmed. Quietly, you pushed yourself up and grabbed the rifle he had left beside him. You did the usual checks to ensure the safety of everyone, and to see if there were any tracks or unwanted animals lurking around. So far, luckily, you three were safe for the time being.

You made your way back to the cave, finding Ellie alert and awake. She looks at Joel and then back at you, and you raise your finger to your lips, indicating that she should let Joel rest and be quiet. The young girl nods in understanding, silently walking towards you, the both of you taking watch. You let Ellie practice what Joel had taught her and let her hold the rifle in the meantime. And she did everything perfectly.

As time passed and the sun began to rise from the east, you hear Joel mumble in his sleep. You tuned your ears to his whimpers and mumbling, catching the words, “Supposed to be me… Supposed to…” You frown in understanding and worry, you had your fair share of nightmares fueled by guilt. Joel startles awake, gasping for air as he pushes himself up frantically searching for his rifle, only to find you and Ellie standing guard. Ellie couldn’t help herself as she quips, “Still mumbling in your sleep. Birdie and I woke up early. You were passed out, so we both took second watch.”

Joel’s fury sprang to life as he stood up, “You gotta wake me up if that happens. Both of you can’t do things like this.” You felt a flash of irritation as you say to him, “But we can… ‘cause we just did.” He’s quiet for a moment, caught off guard by your reaction, then he speaks, “I’m responsible for both of you, okay?” Ellie is quick to throw back, “Then don’t fall asleep.” She began to recount detail and instruction Joel had given her before when he taught her while you proudly smirk at him, “What can I say, man? I’m a natural.” Joel grouchily nods, “Uh-huh.” And gestures to her to give him back the rifle, he nods at her in approval this time, “You wake me up next time.” Ellie rolls her eyes and smiles sarcastically, “Yes, sir. But you should know that Birdie woke up before me.”

Your eyes widen at her, “Ellie, don’t throw me under the bus!” She chuckles at you as Joel gives you a pointed look and you raise your eyebrows at him, daring him to try and argue, instead he just shakes his head, “Let’s get goin’.”

The cold air stung your cheeks and you pulled your scarf up closer to your face. As you looked around you took notice of the white blanket of snow covering the trees, ground, and mountains. The smell of damp pine trees made the air feel fresh and clean. The world around you was frozen in a glaring white quiet. Nothing made a sound, nothing moved, nothing sang. Winter's slavering teeth have vanished. Its piercing winds had stripped the trees of their final leaves, leaving them naked and brooding in a harsh world. They were groaning beneath the weight of the snow, encased in their medical coats. A great limb would occasionally groan, shatter, and collapse. It sounded like an explosion went off in the jungle. Apart from that, the woodland was engulfed in an eerie stillness. There was no morning chorus, sound symphony, or avian orchestra. The entire globe was encased in a dome of quiet. Winter's lethal grasp has strangled and suffocated all life on the planet. Snowflakes fluttered down on the three of you, sylph-like in their airy quiet. They glinted like crushed diamond dust as they landed. A shimmering winter scape of white and silver.

The sudden gunshot disrupted the peace of the forest, and the startled geese began to honk and fly off into the distance, Joel waits for a bit to ensure it was safe to cross the bridge, Ellie observes, waiting for something to happen, but nothing does, “The River of Death. Still no people.” Joel grumbles out, “Fine.” Then proceeds to stand up, and walk to the entrance of the bridge as you and Ellie closely follow him from behind.

As you continue to make your way across the bridge, Ellie tries to whistle like Joel, however, no high pitch sound comes out, just puffs of air. Joel turns around in confusion, and Ellie’s reply is muffled by her fingers, “I’m learning how to whistle.” And Joel looks at her incredulously, “You don’t know how to whistle?” She retorts, “Does it sound like I know how to whistle?” He says the obvious, “No.” You laugh, letting yourself enjoy the little moments of peace with the two. “Seriously, though, how the fuck do you do that?” Ellie asks walking a little bit ahead and you walking side-by-side with Joel, he harrumphs, “Talent.” And you lightly smack his arm at his response, and you swore you saw him give you a small smile, Ellie mutters, “Whatever. You should teach me how to hunt.”

“Huh.” Joel states, and Ellie mocks him, “‘Huh’. Like. ‘She’s a girl. She can’t handle it.’” Joel speaks as he trudges through the snow, “You can handle the shootin’. Not so sure about the dressin’.” Ellie sighs, “What’s the dressin’?” You and Joel walk a little bit past her and he replies, “The part where you take the guts out.” And your nose scrunches up at the thought while Ellie says, “Oh, yeah. Why do they call it dressing? It’s like you should call it undressing ‘cause it is. It’s like… undressing from the inside.” She paused for a bit to catch her breath before saying, “Still interested, though.”

The sound of water rushing fills your ears as you waddled through the snow, stumbling upon a large structure. Dams were mechanical temples that harnessed the victorious powers of water, power, and terrestrial fertility for human advantage. “Dam.” Ellie said, and you rolled your eyes in amusement while Joel tells her, “You’re no Will Livingston.” She quickly throws back at him, “Yeah, yeah, but who is? So that made electricity?” Referencing the Dam in front of them, Joel mutters, “Yeah. Don’t ask me. I don’t have a clue.” Ellie laughs, “You know, you could’ve just made something up. I would’ve believed you.” Joel answers, “Ask Birdie, she’s practically a walking encyclopedia.”

“I don’t know whether to be offended or amazed at the fact you know what an encyclopedia is.” You quip at him with a smirk and his lip quirks up in a small smirk at you, and his eyes twinkle with mischief and desire as his pupils slightly darken, “Smartass.” You winked at him, “You like it.”

“Damn right.” He said with his eyes unwavering from yours, and you felt every atom in your body spark to life. Joel’s heavy breathing stirred the tiny hairs on your neck, sending a shiver into every cell of your body. Ellie disrupted you both as she makes a disgusted groan, “If the two of you are done flirting can we please keep moving?” The heat of embarrassment rushed into your face, leaving you speechless as you decide to break away from his stare and keep marching forward.

“Look at that river. It’s crazy blue.” Ellie said then was immediately quiet after, somewhere between then and now irony slipped its way into her vocabulary, laughter became an anecdote for guilt, sacrifice grew to be a band name for shame and unnecessary death became a nightmare that rode her piggyback. At this point, the thought suddenly struck her, “Hey, Joel, Birdie… what if this is the River of Death?”

Joel grabs the map from his jacket pocket and unfolds it, checking to see if Ellie was right. The cold wind harshly bit into your skin as you three stared at the crystal blue river. At first, you couldn’t see them, but you could hear them—the snapping of twigs, the crunch of snow, and the clopping sound of horse hoofs. There were more than one, more than three, and they were closing in. Joel tried to grab you and Ellie to run, but they were too quick, and organized, and had you surrounded in seconds with their guns and rifles pointed at you. “Get behind me,” Joel said, slightly pushing both of you behind his tall frame. You all raised your hands up, and showed no sign of aggression, Joel shouts, “We ain’t lookin’ for any trouble. We’re just passin’ through.”

“Drop the gun,” the harsh voice ordered in front of you, Joel does as he’s told and so do you. “Both of you… take five steps back.” the man says, and Joel tries to reason with him, “How ‘bout we just talk this through?” And the unknown man unrelentingly replies, “How ‘bout you shut the fuck up?” Joel's shoulders tense, “Okay, easy.” He turns to both of you, Ellie has her eyes wide open and mouth slightly parted, her hands slightly quivering and you trying to steady your breathing, “You’ll both be okay.”

You follow the orders given to you and take five steps back and you hear the man ask, “You been near Infected?” And Joel replies, “There’s no Infected out here.” He doesn’t buy it one bit and retorts, “The hell there ain’t.” He whistles and you hear a short, abrupt vocalization, relatively loud and high-pitched, changes in frequency, the bark of an excited dog, “Last chance for a bullet. If you’ve been infected, he will smell it, and he will rip you up.”

The black large dog continues to bark and its handler removes his leash, he prances over to Joel, sniffing him up and down, jumps up to place his paws on his stomach, looks at him then whines, not finding any indication of the virus. The dog walks back over to his handler for a treat while Joel’s Texan accent becomes heavy, “Like I said… we’ll just move on.” The man still has his rifle pointed at you as he sits atop his horse, he nods over in your and Ellie’s direction, “Now both of them.”

Your heart drops, and you hear Ellie’s breathing become shaky. The flip in your stomach takes over all of your senses, you are frozen and unmoving as you watch the dog crouch lowly and growl at you and Ellie. Joel turns back to glance at you both and you’re worriedly looking at him. He turns around, not bringing himself to watch, the world becomes quiet, the silent ringing returns, and his lungs are clawing for air. It brings him back to that moment when the world took her away, his Sarah, the powerlessness and helplessness feeling that had followed him over the past twenty years. The weight of the world was placed on his shoulders that faithful day.

The sound of a high-pitched bark brings him back to the present, he hears you and Ellie giggle and turns to find you and her completely fine, happily rubbing and petting the dog as the creature licks and wags its tail. The man whistles and the dog is called away, you and Ellie stand up from the snow and hear the leader say, “You just bought yourself ten more seconds. What are you doin’ out here?” Joel quickly replies, “I’m just lookin’ for my brother. That’s all, nothin’ more.” A beautiful woman, whose skin was as rich and deep as any stately home mahogany, exclaims, “Ho!” And walks her horse forward, “What’s your name?” He answers breathlessly, “Joel.” And his name became the key, the password, and the answer, for them to escort you into their town.

You three were given and allowed to ride your own horses, the cold wind rushing past me. The sun’s rays of light are covered by the darkness of the clouds.  Hooves, galloping along the plush white snow, the loud clopping and crunch fill your ears as you hold onto the reins. In the distance, you see a large wooden wall with a giant gate, men and women stationed on top, ready to shoot any intruders. One of the men raises a red bandana, a signal to one of the guards on watch.

The large gate opens for all of you, the horses begin to trot at a normal pace as you take in the sight of Jackson. Underneath you are fluffy, cold snow. The sounds of slush fill your ears. You watch as the misty fog escapes your mouth anytime you take a breath. Every time you inhale a frigid prickle enters your lungs and every time you exhale the heat from your breath warms your lips. Around you are naked trees covered in powder-white snow, glistening in the daylight. The town is neatly arranged, and it felt comfortable and safe. You spot the Tipsy Bison on the right, a location you recognized, then bring your eyes to observe the people around you. A thriving and collaborative community, stable enough to provide and care for the elderly and children.

You continue on forward, spotting Tommy on top of the scaffolding, helping with construction work. You angle your head to look at Joel as he shouts at the top of his lungs, “Tommy!” His brother stops what he’s doing to look at Joel, then he proceeds to run down the steps leading up to the scaffolding, Joel urgently dismounts from his horse, and the people around town watch as the two brothers reunite, a large impactful hug from the both of them, secure and firm. Their shoulders move up and down as the two laugh loudly, finally, all of the pieces align and the balance is clearly defined, he sighs and settles down for the first time.

Tommy smiles as he asks his older brother, “What the fuck are you doin’ here?” Joel looks at you and Ellie for a second before back to Tommy, replying, “I came here to save you.” Joel begins to laugh again, his chuckle a melody you’ve rarely heard before, a sound you keep in your back pocket just in case. 

You bring your gaze to Ellie, whose expression is mixed and jealous, sensing that she’s now a bit less important in Joel’s life. You look back at the two brothers, turning down the volume of your heart, the massive table of countless dominos, all lined up and weaving in and out of each other, every relationship and decision in every piece of domino, subconsciously shrinking the row of dominos the best you can. Eliminating your opinions or wants and desires, convincing yourself that this will be simple by just focusing on the needs of everyone else but yourself. The only form of control you’ve had looks like empathy to understand all sides.

MESS HALL, JACKSON COUNTY, WYOMING – AFTERNOON

The mess hall was large, warm, and inviting. The indistinct chatter fills the giant wooden cabin, lightbulbs twinkling from above, and dining tables lined up neatly. Ellie was sat in between you and Joel, she is scarfing down her food, eagerly eating everything that was on her plate and so was Joel. You were meekly eating, trying to not draw attention to yourself, as you quietly chewed on your potatoes. “There’s more if you need it.” And you soon come to realize that this must be Maria, the way Tommy’s body language is drawn and pulled close to her, you smile when you hear Joel reply politely, “Thank you, ma’am.” And you also offer your thanks to her and she nods in your direction in acknowledgment. Joel cuts into his food as he says, “It’s been a while since we’ve had a proper meal.” Ellie pipes in, “Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever had a proper meal. This is fuckin’ amazing.” You wince in second-hand embarrassment and so does Joel, he turns to Maria, “Sorry. Ellie… let’s mind our manners.” Tommy smirks knowingly. At one moment, another girl furtively looks at Ellie, until Ellie loudly says “What?!” and scares her off. Joel’s lips turn down and his eyebrows furrow in confusion, “What’s wrong with you?” Ellie doesn’t relent, “What about her manners?” 

“She was just curious. Kids around here don’t usually look or talk like you.” Maria points out and Ellie nods, “Right… well, maybe I’ll teach them. And I want my gun back.” Maria shakes her head, “They also aren’t armed.” The young brave girl glares at her in response, Tommy decides to step in, “You know what? Uh… I think maybe ya’ll got a little off on the wrong foot.” Ellie raises her tone and points out, “She was gonna have our guys kill us.” Joel gives her a pointed look, an indication for her to stop being disrespectful but Tommy calmly responds, “Well, we gotta be real careful about who we let in this place. But it’s all bark. We’re just trying to scare off those who might wanna try us is all.” Ellie nonchalantly says, “Well you got a couple of ninety-year-olds who shitting themselves out there.” You and Joel chastise her quickly, “Ellie.” But she doesn’t care, “They say that you leave dead bodies around?” Maria doesn’t deny the ugly truth, “Those are the people who tried us.” Tommy adds, “A bad reputation doesn’t mean you’re bad.” Maria narrows her eyes at Joel as she comments, “Not always, at least.” You feel your anger flare up from your chest as you grip your knife tighter, glaring at Maria for suggesting such a thing.

Joel swallows down his food and his shame, “Ma’am… we’re grateful for your hospitality and all. But it’d be nice to have a moment here, maybe just for family.”  You place an elbow on the table, using your hand to hide your face in embarrassment as you squirm in your chair, you hear Tommy clear his throat, “Well um…” You peek past your hand and watch him grab Maria’s hand, spotting the wedding band on his left ring finger, “Maria is family, actually.” Ellie blinks in surprise as she says, “Oh, shit! Congrats.” You bring your eyes to Joel’s unmoving figure, frozen in shock from the sudden news as his breathing becomes unsteady, Ellie softly whispers to him, “Joel, say congrats.” The all-too-familiar cold tone is unmistakable as he grits his teeth to say, “Congrats.” There’s an awkward silence between the two parties, and you take a large gulp of your water and Tommy offers, “How ‘bout a tour.” You nod as you’re the first one to get up from your chair, not liking the possibility of conflict between the two brothers, “Yes, please.”

JACKSON, WYOMING – AFTERNOON

The town had a large plaza, and a giant vibrant Christmas tree in the center, Maria spoke as she walked, and the rest of you followed, “We settled here about seven years ago. Just a handful of us back then.” She points out a section of the town, “That section was already a gated community, so we built the rest of the wall out from there. Stopped most of the raiding parties, but we still find pockets of them.” Joel warily looks around, “And you said Infected?” Tommy nods, “Yeah, but usually in smaller colonies, wandered off from the cities. All this open country out there… it’s a turkey shoot. I still got my 700, but I found a variable power scope. Sub MOA. Can headshot those fuckers from half a mile out.”

“Can you teach me how?” Ellie asks and Joel is quick to respond for him, “No, he can’t. How do you keep this place quiet?” Maria replies, “Carefully. Being in the middle of nowhere helps. Not advertising what we have, staying off the radio.” Joel stares at his brother and Tommy shrinks away from his pointed look, you listen to Maria as she explains the purpose of each building, “House of worship, multifaith. School. Laundry. Old bank works as a jail, not that we’ve needed it.” Joel looks to one of the electric poles, “And you draw power from the dam?” Maria confirms his suspicion, nodding, “Got that workin’ a couple years ago. After that, sewage, plumbing, water heaters… lights.” Ellie shakes her head, seemingly impressed, “This place actually fuckin’ works.”

The group makes their way to the farm, and a herd of sheep passes by, and Ellie points it out as she smiles at him, “Hey, Joel, check it. Baa.” Ellie playfully swings her arms back and forth as she asks Maria, “Are you, like, in charge?” She looks at Tommy for a bit before replying, “No one person’s in charge. I’m on the council. Democratically elected, serving three hundred people, including children. Everyone pitches in. We rotate patrols, food prep, repairs, hunting, harvesting.” Tommy picks off where she left off, “Everything you see in our town… greenhouses, livestock, all shared. Collective ownership,” to which Joel replies, "So, uh, communism." Tommy's knee-jerk reaction is, "Nah. Nah, it ain't like that." His discomfort with the term pulls from over a century of distortion of the fundamental principles of communism. “It is that, literally. This is a commune. We're communists," Maria states modestly, to which Tommy’s discomfort at the thought causes him to stagger a bit, to which you offer, “I can try and explain it later.” Tommy nods in thanks and you give him a reassuring smile.

“No way!” Ellie exclaims as she makes her way to the stables, Maria trails behind her and you follow the two ladies, “That’s our newest one. Couple months old. You wanna pet her?” Ellie’s smile is as bright as the sun and her teeth as white as the snow beneath you, wide and happy, “Yeah, what’s her name?” Ellie asks to which Maria replies, “Shimmer.” Your smile falters a bit, recognizing the name from the second game, but you shake it off, not wanting to keep looking into the future. “Shimmer you’re so beautiful,” Ellie says as she pets the pony gently, completely enamored by her beauty and gentle grace. Maria turns to Tommy and discusses the possible sleeping arrangement, “Well, I’m sure they’d like a shower, some new clothes. We can put them in the empty house across the street from us.” Her husband nods in agreement, “Yeah. It’s a decent place. Pretty much untouched since the ‘03, but it’s got the heat goin’ in it. Could do worse.” Ellie carelessly remarks, “Oh, trust me, we have been.”

Joel has his eyes narrowed and annoyed, “We’ve been doin’ fine.” You get the slight feeling he’s being defensive, and Maria looks at you and Ellie, and tells her husband, “Well I’ll take her and Ellie over there if you two wanna catch up.” Tommy then looks to his older brother for approval and Joel nods, “Yeah. Okay.” You and Ellie whip your head to face Joel, slightly unnerved and fearful of the unknown, and potentially Joel pushing you both away. “Joel.” Ellie says and he brushes her off as he walks away, “You’ll be fine.” Maria asks the both of you, “Shall we?” And having no choice but to follow her you both nod, “Uh, yeah.”

THE RANCH, MASTER BEDROOM

JACKSON, WYOMING – AFTERNOON

The warm hot shower soothes your skin as you wash off the grime and dirt of the last few months. At some point, you had decided to sit down in the bathtub of the shower, letting the water hit your skin freely, your eyes distant and gaze unsteady as you watch the steam of the shower move to the light. You hug your knees close to your chest, rest your chin on your knees, and finally let yourself go. 

The haze takes over your vision, a sculpture of water and unsettled dust, and your exhausted mind only wants to be carried home. So you fight with the concept of grace while attempting to hold everything in place. You were so full of life that you could barely hold it in. You were amateurs at war, strangers to suffering. Your questions ricochet like broken satellites. How did your bodies, born to heal, become so prone to die? Your nights have grown so long and now you beg for sound advice, time has been ruthless and unkind, every turn in the corner of the maze only to be faced with a dead end, the trapdoors you couldn’t see, and the lives that were lost to your journey to Jackson. You felt so vulnerable and fragile, the fact that the foundation of society was shaken to its core due to the pandemic, governments, families, and lives as you know them, will never be the same again. As life replayed, you hear the voice in the back of your mind proclaim, to let the brokenness be felt until you reach the other side.

The sting in your eyes as the tears escape from your eyes, allows for the cold embrace of the depression you’ve kept hidden and at bay for so long. Sometimes you pretend you are evergreen and keep your cards close to your chest. But this time you allow yourself the reprieve, as you quietly sob into your hands and gasp for air now and then, letting every little fracture of you shatter out loud. Wondering if your messes mattered and if all the chaos counted as you felt empty-handed. You had set sail along the universe's ocean of the unknown with cheap wood and tried to patch up every leak that you could until the blame grew too heavy.

You reflected on the world that you were unintentionally placed in, presenting the world through a different lens, a world that turned hostile and dangerous. But a story that explored how nevertheless you can still find love and meaning, the longing for human connections, and how willing you are to sacrifice everything to safeguard the people you love. 

You hadn’t planned on it, the greater weight of the truth settling inside of you. Fundamental resilience and a built-in resistance, and against your judgment, prevent you from completely surrendering yourself from truly giving up on being human. You open your eyes and slowly rise to your feet, placing your palm on the wall, you blink and try to look past the undefined and fragile promise at the light at the end of the tunnel. You nod, shakily you breathe, and whisper to no one in particular, “I guess that’s how it goes.”

After the mental breakdown in the shower, you stepped out of the bathroom fresh and felt a little bit lighter. You lift your chin a little higher and open your eyes a little wider despite the puffiness in your eyes. You are wrapped in a towel, and as you make your way to the foot of the bed, you find fresh clean clothes to wear and a menstrual cup. You smile at the thoughtful gift and find a note, that reads ‘I’m just across the street. Come by when you’re done.’

You get dressed and make your way down the hall to Ellie’s room, you knock on her door and call for her, “Ellie? You there?” When no reply came, you slowly opened the door to find her gone and after investigating a little bit, you see a similar note from Maria. You figured she had already gone over. You leave her room and walk across the street to Maria’s house, knocking on the door and Ellie opening the door for you. You smile at her as you walk inside, appreciating the warmth already provided by the fireplace.

You take a good look at the living room, yellow curtains by the window, a messy coffee table with an unsolved crossword, and a large cozy couch facing the fireplace as it crackles and roars. Your eyes catch the small blackboard sitting on top of the fireplace with two candles on each side. Ellie walks over to it and you follow closely behind her as she stares up at the two names. Kevin and Sarah, with the dates, that they were born and taken away too soon from this world.

You let out an uneven exhale and feel your frown deepen, as the flashbacks of Joel’s life come back to you in a blur. The scream for mercy, watching him tear apart with each cry and wail from his hoarse voice. The day the world ended was the same day his world ended. Something broken that cannot be fixed. You both turn your heads to the sound of the back door opening, Maria enters bringing the cold wind with her until she closes the door behind her, “Oh, good. Just traded for these two. Go ahead, try it on.” She hands Ellie a deep purple long coat while yours is A sophisticated medium gray with the barest hint of violet. The young girl comments as she wears her purple puffer coat, “It’s, uh, super fuckin’ purple.” You bend down a little to help Ellie with her coat, fixing the collar and the lining, Maria nods, “Eggplant. It fits?” Ellie replies, “Yeah.” Maria continues to fuss over her as you put on your coat, “Shoes aren’t too big?” She answers, “Uh, no. Where’s our other stuff?” Maria lifts her shoulders, “Rag pile. Did you both get the thing I left you?” You merely nod while Ellie bluntly replies, “Yeah. Weirdest gift ever.” Maria nods in agreement but says, “But useful. Who’s been cutting your hair?”

“Uh, world-class salons,” Ellie says plainly and it earns a laugh from you and Maria, “Let me get my scissors.” Ellie’s mouth opens to protest but Maria doesn’t let her argue, “Trim. That’s all. Just the ends, I promise. And her too, she’ll go first so you can see that you have nothing to worry about.” Referring to you as she walks to the kitchen. You ruffle Ellie’s hair and whisper to her, “Just let her,” to which she sighs and takes a seat on one of the dining table chairs.

The trim was much needed. Maria had cut your hair in the style you wanted with such precision and skill. You happily thanked her with a polite smile, sat down on one of the other chairs, and let Ellie go next, of course, Ellie being the curious kid she is, begins to interrogate Maria, “So, this was, like, your job back then or something?” The sharp snips of scissors fill the silence for a bit before she answers, “No, I was an Assitant District Attorney out of Omaha, Nebraska. I put the bad guys in jail. I always liked doing hair though. Maybe it was a mom thing.”

“Damn, that’s pretty impressive.” You said and she gives you her thanks and asks, “What did you do for work?” Your smile falters, “Um, I used to be a researcher, a Quantum physicist.” The quiet was nice for a moment before she comments, “You both were looking at the little memorial Tommy made?” Ellie answers for the both of you, “Uh, yeah.” She stumbles on her words, “I’m- I’m sorry about your kids.” Your nails dig into your palm and listen to Maria reply, “It’s okay. And kid. Just Kevin. Sarah was Joel’s daughter.”The heavy silence that follows tells Maria that Ellie didn’t know that before, and you find it harder to breathe, “Oh, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, it’s okay. I guess that explains him a little,” Ellie says and she brings her eyes to you, “Did you know?” You squirm, the feeling of deja vu from when you first heard those words from Joel, the accusatory glance, and the betrayal in her eyes. “Yes,” You said and she scoffs at you, “Why? Why didn’t you say anything?” You pull back and raise your eyebrows at her, “You and I both know that was never my story to tell or share. No amount of knowledge will ever excuse the fact that I can never talk about what happened without Joel’s explicit consent.” Ellie resigns from her lashing out and nods at you with understanding, and you simply sighed. Maria chimes in, “Look, I’m not gonna ask you what you both are doing with him.” 

“Good.” You and Ellie say at the same time, quickly protective of Joel but Maria continues with her statement, “But there are clearly things you both don’t know about Joel.” You glare at Maria while the teen remains typically testy, “Oh, like how he used to kill people? We know about that.” Ellie rebukes with vigor and impresses Maria with it somewhat, “So then you understand my concern.” Ellie’s anger flares, “He doesn’t do that anymore.” And Maria is quick to question, “He stopped killing people?” 

“Innocent ones. And Tommy did it, too. Are you worried about him?” she asks to which Maria’s lips form a thin line, “Tommy was following Joel. The way you both are.” Seemingly sees Joel as a bad influence, someone who pulls people into his orbit and leaves harm in his wake. “Well, maybe, we’re smarter than Tommy. No offense.” Ellie states and you sense distrust in Maria, “You are definitely smart. Both of you. You would have made a hell of a lawyer, Ellie.” The woman says as she puts away her scissors and stands in front of you and Ellie, “There’s a whole lot you’re not telling me.” None of you answer, to which Maria nods, “Good. Therein lies the point. Be careful who you put your faith in,” she warns you and Ellie. “The only people who can betray us… are the ones we trust.” Ellie clearly resents the advice and Maria’s distrust of Joel, perhaps because she senses there’s a good reason for it and none of you want to admit it.

“You understand?” Maria asks and you both hum in acknowledgment. “Now come on.” She says as she walks to remove the towel around Ellie’s shoulders, “Grab your super fuckin’ eggplant coat.” You allow yourself to laugh at the callback and get up from your own seat, shuffling to put on your gray coat to which you hear Ellie ask, “Where are we going?” Maria smiles, “The movies.” Ellie sighs and ties her hair back, while you say, “I’m actually gonna go for a walk. Get familiar with the surroundings. You okay to go by yourself, Ellie?” The brave teen nods, “Mhm. I’ll see you back at the house.”

“Tell me what you think of the movies later, okay?” You say and she smiles and agrees, “Okay.” You tuck your hands in the pockets of your coat, yelling a thank you and goodbye to Maria as you headed outside to the cold winter of Jackson.

MAIN STREET

JACKSON, WYOMING – SUNSET

You tried your best to help around as much as you could with the stables and the children, doing some work to pass the time. The clouds collected again around sunset, bringing an earlier night, and the snow began to fall straight and slowly from a sky devoid of wind, in a gentle universal dispersion more perplexing than the morning's blasts. It appeared to be a part of the growing darkness, the cold night itself falling on you layer by layer.

The amber glow of the string lights, the burn barrels doing their best to keep parts of the area warm, the steam following the wind but the bright glow of the fire emitting from inside shine through. Most people at this hour have already decided to go to the dining hall to watch the rest of the movie, but you continued to wander around the empty main street of Jackson.

The world is an outline of shapes you used to know, hidden in plain sight. The drapes suddenly pulled back slowly, as though pulling a ribbon. You've been distracted, but you're no longer trapped in the static. Despite the fact that your hands are prone to trial and error, you cross your fingers for anything to hold. Here in the shadows of letting go, you can't help but wish for a brighter future. You spot Ellie from a distance, her figure crouched down as she eavesdrops through the door of a nearby workshop. You tilt your head and quietly walk towards her, to which she still turns her head to you, lifting her finger on her lips indicating to be quiet. You decide to follow her request and crouch next to her, hearing Tommy and Joel quietly conversing with each other.

Joel started, “It was Marlene. She hired us to smuggle her to some Fireflies. It went bad. Tess got bit. She made me swear to take the kid. It was her dyin’ wish. What the hell was I supposed to do? We made it as far as K.C., and then… You know she saved my life there… from another kid. Birdie got hurt too… Five years ago, I would’ve destroyed him. But she had to shoot him to save me. Fourteen years old. Because I was too slow and too fuckin’ deaf to hear him comin’.” You shudder at the reminder and the two of you listened as Joel broke, bit by bit, his voice started to quiver, “And Birdie had to protect Ellie 'cause I asked her to… and she didn’t even have the experience or skill that I had… I saw… I saw a man kill his own brother… to save her, while I just watched. And today I thought that dog was gonna tear both of ‘em apart because it smelled somethin’ on them.”

“And all I did was stand there. I couldn’t… move. I couldn’t think of anything to say. I just… I was so afraid.” Joel’s breathing was ragged as he spoke, his mind racing with worst-case scenarios, “You think I can handle things, but… I’m not who I was. I’m weak.” He believes he bears little resemblance to the man he once was or could become. No action hero, he admits to being far less capable of recognizing and reacting to threats than he used to be, and to sometimes being paralyzed by fear. You slowly start to feel your eyes sting again as you hear the tremble in his voice, the brokenness you’re all too familiar with, “Lately, there are these moments where the fear comes up outta nowhere, and… my heart… feels like it’s stopped. And I have dreams. Every night.”

“What kinda dreams?” Tommy asks, and you listen to the triggered tripwire every time he breathes, the tremble in his voice gives you that he was beginning to cry, “I don’t know. I can’t remember. I just know that when I wake up… I’ve lost somethin’.” You allow your own tears to fall, covering your mouth to cover your whimpers as you listen to him admit, “I’m failin’ in my sleep. That’s all I do. It’s all I’ve ever done is fail them again and again.” Tommy states, “You want me to take them.” And Joel continues to cry as he says, “I’m just gonna get them killed. I know it. I have to leave them.” Tommy tries to call his name to calm him, “Joel.”

“I mean, it’s why you took off on me, right? To make up for the things we did?” Joel asks with a clear glaze in his eyes, he begs his younger brother, “Well, here’s your chance to bring your kid into a better world. You’re younger than me. You’re still strong. You said it yourself, you’ll come back. You have to take her. You have to give Birdie… that sweet, smark, and kind girl,  a chance to live a life here. A normal life here. Please.”

You take Tommy’s silence as agreement and the tears fall from your cheeks as you try to muffle your cries. Joel breathes, “And you can’t tell anyone, not even Maria. Tommy, you’re the only one I trust. If anyone else sees those bites on her, on them both, what’s under their skin… they’ll shoot them. It’s the last thing I’ll ever ask of you. I swear.”

“I’ll take her out at dawn.” You hear Tommy say and Joel sigh of relief. You feel Ellie tug your coat sleeve, indicating you need to leave before they realized you had heard the entire conversation. 

THE RANCH, MASTER BEDROOM

JACKSON, WYOMING – NIGHT

None of you spoke as the two of you walk into the night, heading back to the temporary house that they had provided. You opened the door for Ellie and she ran straight up to her room, while you walked up the steps to the master bedroom. You quietly shut your door sitting on the edge of the king-sized bed, you sniffed and try to will yourself to stop crying. You stared blankly at the floor as you swung your feet, patiently waiting and deciding what to do next.

The options you had were limited to figuring out how to get back to your previous observable universe or facing the truth about how you felt for Joel and your fondness for Ellie as if she were your own daughter. This meant admitting that you also needed to discuss what you wanted with Joel. To wake up and wage war with this gravity that has been holding you back for almost all of your life, the epiphany of finding so much worth fighting for, and either way all the lines of dominos will fall and cascade.

You were too in your head to hear the shouting from across the hall, the argument between Joel and Ellie, a crucial turning point in the central relationship. You hear the bits and pieces of their yelling and arguing, “You have no idea what loss is,” is a pretty awful thing for him to say. And in both, she tells him that everyone she’s ever cared about has either died or left her, “Everyone—fucking except for you. So don’t tell me that I would be safer with someone else because the truth is that I would just be more scared.” Joel’s painful response, “You’re right, you’re not my daughter, and I sure as hell ain’t your dad.” You flinch at that, “Now, come dawn… we’re goin’ our separate ways.” Then you hear the loud slamming of the door of Ellie’s room, and your own frown deepens, you feel your heart race, as if you feel the climb of the track of the rollercoaster, building you up and then taking you back. It’s a while before Joel decides to go to the bedroom, he had decided to sit in the living room to remember Sarah one last time before letting her go.

You anticipate Joel’s footsteps, the thud of each step, and hear your door open. Joel finds you sitting at the edge of the bed, hunched over, your hands shaking in your lap as you try and hold yourself together. The quiet dim glow of the yellow lamp by the bedside table illuminates your features. You don’t look at him as he calls your name, you choose to look at the floor, he tries again, softer, “Birdie…” You only blink in response, the only indication that you heard him at all, you hear him step a little closer to you, “How much did you hear?” In a barely audible response, you shakily whisper, “All of it.”

Joel began, “Birdie… it’s for the best if we–” You cut him off before he could even finish, sharply turning your head at him as you stood up, “Joel I can’t… I can’t keep doing this.” He feels breathless as he registers what you said, “What?” You blink back the tears and try to look him in the eye, a little more alive as you let the scale tip and feel all of it rushing through you like a restless river stream, you feel your chest expand as you breathe and say, “If you don’t want me… if you don’t feel anything for me. Just say it and tell me now and I’ll figure out how to get back home on my own. ‘Cause I can’t keep going like this… dancing around you and pretending I don’t have feelings for you.”

You shake your head, “I’ve spent my whole life asking and searching for the impossible and none of it made any sense to me… And then I… I found you and Ellie. For the first time, I felt whole.” Your hand clenches near your chest as you utter, “Was I just delusional or imagining things? ‘Cause all of this… push and pull is hurting me. Do you even want me?” Joel steps a little closer as he says, “Yes.” And you look up at him and take one step back, “Then… why? And don’t you fucking dare make it an age-gap excuse or I will kick you in the balls Miller.”

He stumbles over his words, “I’m afraid. I’m so, so, afraid Birdie. That I could fail to protect you, Sweet Girl. The light that you give, the kindness you’ve shown, I’m scared I might taint it. Take away something so good in this world. You deserve so much more than what I could give.” Your face pinches in frustration and tears fall down your face, your cheeks warm and eyes puffy from all the sobbing, “Don’t I get a say?” And he’s quick to tell you, “Of course you do.” You scoff and angrily wipe your eyes. You pause and take a good look at the man in front of you, it's a fire and a goddamn blaze in the dark and he started it, you say from across the room, “Then let me choose you, Joel. Please, please, don’t leave me here.” He’s quiet as he takes in your words, and you continue, it’s uncomfortable but right, you say, “I don’t care about what was written about in your history. In the end, I want more than the life that I choose, and I want it to be with you.”

The silence that fills the room is one of heaviness and anticipation. The churning fear that pours out of you, and the inheritance you did not seek or ask for. You watch as Joel breathes heavily at your confession, taking his time to process what you said and felt for him. Someone who he deemed no longer worthy of receiving love. Slowly, you show him who he is and who he could be, and try to initiate the heart, bringing himself to let it open up properly. All of a sudden, you changed his mind and pulled back the curtains a little at a time.

You were on a frequency, the perfect opposite of him. Though he never needed any proof to trust the heart that beats inside of you. He can't keep his head from spinning out of control, but he will try to breathe ‘til it becomes muscle memory. He’s only steady on his knees, but maybe with you, he’ll one day stand on his own two feet. To struggle gracefully and let the scaffolding inside of him be strong enough to hold his tired body up once more.

He licks his bottom lip out of nervousness, and directly looks you in the eye, “I want you, Birdie.” You feel the rush of heat through your body, and stutter, “W-What?” His gaze darkens as he looks at you with need and desire, seemingly made up his mind to just give in, to let himself want and need you. “I said, I want you Birdie. Will you be mine?” He takes a step closer to you and you stay frozen, eventually, he’s towering over your frame, his eyes so dark you can no longer see the honey-brown eyes you were familiar with. You can’t help it. You’re drawn in by the force and pressure of the tempest building in those damnable eyes. Your heart is loud as a drumline, the thumping noise and heat in your ears as you feel the magnetic pull into his warmth, you feel his breath against your lips as you whisper, “Yes.”

That’s all it took, and with slow deliberation looks at you up and down. His inspection seems to last for hours, though it must take only seconds. The air between you crackles, and you want to move toward him, to close the gap between you. But you stay rooted to the spot, waiting for him. He lingers for a moment on your lips before finally lifting his head to meet your eyes, and his lips meet yours. You didn’t grow up, we grew in, like ivy wrapping, molding each other into perfect yins and yangs. You kissed with mouths open, breathing his exhale into your inhale. You could have survived underwater or outer space, breathing only the breath you traded.

You felt his warm rough large hands bring one hand to your waist and the other to cup the side of your cheek as he kissed you. You felt the tickle of his facial hair on your cheek, and each breath and groan vibrated throughout your body. You wrapped your arms around his neck, running your fingers rhythmically through his salt-and-pepper hair. Happily sighing breathlessly as he continues to kiss you dizzy. Like a whiskey, you can feel it he hits so strong but tastes so sweet.

The rush and thrill consumed you, the slick wetness between your thighs and his hands moving to cup and grab at your ass causing you to gasp in pleasure, to which Joel decides to pull your bodies closer ‘til no space lies in between. His presence was too powerful, his scent too all-consuming. It crowded your lungs, filling them with clean earthiness and rich spices. When you were around him, it was easy to lose myself, no matter how upset you were.

When he carefully dropped himself to the ground, the movement was both proud and obedient. His breath brushed over your skin. “Do you want this?” His fingers ran down the back of your leg, leaving a path of heat in their wake. Your thoughts were jumbled, but you had enough sense to realize this wasn't about sex. It was all about being vulnerable. It was a landmark event disguised as insignificant and distilled into one phrase. “Yes.” That was both demand and submission, a groan and a gasp. Joel exhaled. He carried you to the plush bed in the center of the room, appreciating everything you could give him. Clothes were quickly removed, and he stripped you down to your barest form while he kept his boxers on, an evident hard-on showing but choosing to take care of you first.

His palms burned as they parted your thighs. He’d barely touched you, and you were already on fire. You tipped your head back, drowning in arousal, heat, and lust and the reverence of his touch as he kissed his way up your thigh. His stubble rasped against your skin and sent tiny shocks of pleasure down your spine. As he separated your thighs, his palms seared. He hadn't even touched you yet, but you were still immediately burning. As he nibbled his way up your thigh, you threw your head back, reveling in pleasure, heat, lust, and the devotion of his touch.

“I'm sorry I offended you…” A gentle kiss at the fine line where your thigh meets your leg and persistent heat. “For attempting to drive you away…” Your underwear was removed and tossed to the side as he softly stroked your clit with his tongue. When he dragged your clit into his lips and sucked, his abrasive words mingled with your scream. Your body arched away from the bed. He began to worship you with his lips, hands, and tongue as your hands dug into his hair and you could barely hang on. Joel was rigid but beckoning. Delicate but sinful. You felt a new rush of pure sensation with every movement. Your chest and the base of your spine are both under pressure at the same time. You were soaring high solely on passion and desire, out of breath. He backed away and lightly touched your delicate clit with his teeth. He inserted two fingers into you and plunged and curled them as you wilted carelessly.

Your body was familiar to him. Knew precisely what you wanted, how to operate it like a well-tuned guitar, and even what buttons to press and where to press them. He stroked your G-spot while simultaneously pressing his thumb into your clit. When Joel stood up, his chest heaving, the strain was dizzying as your orgasms ripped through you and your moans were still echoing in the air. He gently kissed your lips as he leaned forward on top of you, bracing his hands on each side of your head.

When you kissed him and cherished the flavor of the kiss, leisurely threads of need twisted inside you. Like desperation flavored with desire and soothed with compassion, robust and rich. You explored and licked the inside of his mouth as you panted. He moaned in hunger and want, “Birdie…” Your hands roamed, your hearts pounding in sync and your kisses growing in intensity until the heat became too much to bear. 

He took off his boxers and you flipped both of you over with the help of gravity, and you gradually sank into him, taking him in, inch by inch until he was buried deep inside of you. Hitting deeper, and tasting sweeter. You rocked against Joel as his hands held onto your hips. A delightful pressure swelled inside of you, rising higher and higher until your head was distorted with lust. Sweat misted your skin. Moans filled the air. He was certainly straining to hold back, but he made no move to take control as you both experienced toe-curling orgasms at the same time. When Joel brought you down for a kiss, the second, smaller climax that the overpowering intimacy of the moment had triggered was still reverberating through you.

Your eyes are half-lidded as you pull away from the kiss and look at Joel, who’s heavily panting, breathless, and in awe of you. Joel flips you both over, and your back hits the mattress. He kisses you again, still, inside of you, you are still sensitive from your previous orgasm and cry out, “I can’t…” He pants and groans, “Yes you can sweet girl. You can do it. One more for me Birdie.” He’s hitting deeper and quicker as you try to squirm away from him but all he does is pin you down, grabbing your hands to lock them above your head, causing you to scream and cry out in pleasure. “You’re doing so well. You’re such a good girl.” He praises, and everything feels and sounds amplified, every thrust his hips make, the sounds of slick wet skin slapping together, each grunt and moan mixing and blending between you both finally brings you and him over the edge. He pulls out and paints your stomach while you clench and moan throughout your release.

He folds over atop you, his weight is a welcoming feeling, like a large protective blanket. You’re running your fingers through his hair as he continues to catch his breath and you hum happily, “You good cowboy or do you need a wheelchair?” He grunts, “Haven’t done that in a while. Cut the man some slack.” You laugh loudly and kiss the side of his forehead and he sighs with contentment. After a while, he rolls off of you, pulling you closer to his side, peppering your neck and cheek with kisses, “I’m goin’ to get a clean towel to clean us up.” You nod as he gets up, walks over to the bathroom, comes back with a clean rag, and wipes off the slick between your thighs and stomach.

He sets the cloth aside and climbs back in bed with you, tossing the blanket over both of your bodies, gripping your hips, and pulling you close. You kiss him again, just because you can and both of you are smiling widely at each other. You take a deep breath and close your eyes as you place your forehead on top of his, and Joel grumbles, “I should have pulled out earlier.” To which you yawn, “I have an IUD, it’ll expire in ten years.” Joel’s mouth opens, “You have a… oh right.” You laugh, “Yep. So I can keep riding you, my cowboy.” He smacks your ass and kisses you again as you yelp in surprise, “Keep talkin’ like that and we’re not gonna get any sleep tonight.” You roll your eyes in response but smile up at him.

The quiet between you two is comforting and allows you to rest your eyes, no awkwardness, just a blistering moment of peace. The night sky once ruled your imagination and you used to turn the dials with careful calculation. After a while, you thought you'd never find him and convinced yourself that you would never find him.

Then suddenly, he saw you through telescopes and calculations, the far was pulled so near. You opened your eyes to find yourself under his warm gaze, trying to memorize every feature as if you were constellations in the night sky. But the looming threat that hangs over you makes an appearance in the dark corner of the back of your mind, you whisper, “Joel.” He hums in acknowledgment and you continue, “You should give Ellie a choice. She also has every right to choose too.” He’s quiet for a moment before he sighs agreeing, “Yeah… Been thinking about it a while ago before you jumped my bones.” You smack his shoulder, “I did not!” To which he kisses you breathlessly, “I’ll give her the choice tomorrow.” You nod and cup the side of his face and he says to you so quietly, “We have a long way to go.” To which your eyes softened and kissed the tip of his nose, “Yes, but look how far we’ve come.”

THE RANCH, MASTER BEDROOM

JACKSON, WYOMING – EARLY MORNING

In the morning you don’t say it as both of you wake up to your bodies closely tangled with each other. His heavy arms are wrapped around your waist and his legs are inserted with yours as he kisses the back of your neck. Continuing to worship your entire being. You both had woken up early, sharing the water in the shower, to which you had both agreed you needed to save water, but it was just an excuse to keep touching each other.

By the time you both got out of the hot shower, you both got dressed and made your way to the stables. The chirping of birds brings you to smile at yourself as you brush your horse, preparing to leave. “You came here to say goodbye or something?” Ellie asks the both of you, causing you to look away from the task and tilt your head and smirk as Joel replies, “No. We came here to steal the horses and go.” To which Tommy says, “I woulda given you them.” And Joel replies with, “I know,” He sniffs and walks to Ellie before continuing, “Anyway… that was thirty minutes ago, and I guess… you deserve a choice. I still think you’d be better off with Tommy…” It’s no surprise that Ellie shoves her bag at Joel, “Let’s go.” He blinks and you laugh as he answers, “Okay.”

Both of you exit the stables with your horses, Joel helps Ellie mount his horse and you mount your own horse. “General direction?” Joel asks his brother, “Head southeast til you hit I-25. It’s right off the interstate. Shouldn’t be hard to miss.” He nods at Tommy before they both pull each other into a hug. They pull away and Tommy says, “There’s a place for you here… All three of you.” Joel gruffly says, “Countin’ on it.” And he spots Tommy’s rifle swung across his shoulder, “Can I borrow that?” Tommy nods, “Yeah.” But Joel continues to talk, “‘Cause Maria took mine.” Tommy throws him a look, “I already said yes, Joel. Adios, big brother.”

The large wooden gate’s latch is lifted open as your two horses trot through the snow. Exiting the safe, gated, community of Jackson. Your journey continues through the wilderness of Wyoming. The cold chilly air creates goosebumps at the back of your neck as you ride your horse past the tall emerald-green trees.

After a couple of hours of riding, Joel decides to teach Ellie how to shoot with the rifle. The sound of loud gunshots rings out as Ellie misses the main target. She sighs and Joel comments, “Wide right. You’re flinchin’.” You stand behind the two, enjoying the view of Joel and Ellie having some time together. Ellie shakes her head at him, denying, “The target’s too small.” Joel harrumphs at her, “I made it bigger than I should’ve. Eject the cartridge.” She does as she is told, and said, “I am not flinching.” Joel hums, “Mm-mhm.” Ellie doesn’t let up, “The rifle just sucks.”

“Okay, give it,” Joel said and Ellie gives it to him and whines, “It doesn’t aim right.” Joel only hums again, “Mm-hmm.” And Ellie frowns as she lifts her binoculars, “You’ll see.” They swap places and Joel grunts as he adjusts the rifle, “A deep breath in, slow breath out.” The girl sighs and Joel glances behind him to look at you, “You squeeze the trigger like you love it.” Your face warms at the memory of what happened last night and what he could be insinuating. You try to hide your smile, he winks at you and then looks to the scope, his voice getting deeper, “Gentle… steady… nice and slow.” Ellie drops her binoculars and groans, “You gonna shoot this thing or get Birdie pregnant? ‘Cause holy shit you guys were loud.” You choke on air at the same time Joel looks at Ellie shamelessly before looking back at the scope with his finger on the trigger. Ellie shakes her head, continuing to be in denial, “It isn’t gonna work. It doesn’t aim right.” A gunshot rings out, and it's a perfect headshot. “You dick.” Ellie says while Joel just smirks smugly and turns to look at you, “Birdie would know.” You throw your head and hands up in exasperation, “I fuckin’ can’t with you two.”

Wind bustled through the branches of the trees, making the leaves howl in their symphony. The horses trot through the snow, as the three of you make your way to the University of Eastern Colorado. The silence is no longer present, only filled by Ellie’s questions and Joel's answers. You occasionally input your own thoughts and ideas, correcting Joel when needed, but otherwise, you let yourself watch them form a connection that Joel was so afraid of.

“So the way they ran stuff in Jackson, was how things used to be?” Ellie asked, and Joel replies, “No. The country was too big for that. Back then, there were basically two main ways of lookin’ at things. Some people wanted to own everything. And some people didn’t want anyone to own anything at all.” Ellie hums, “Which one were you?” And you hear Joel reply, “Neither. I just did my job.” To which you chuckled, knowing that Joel has always tried to stay neutral in anything, it’s more efficient that way.

“Which was… building?” Ellie asks, and Joel confirms her guess, “That’s right. Houses, stores, that kinda thing. We were called ‘contractors’.” The teen mocks his voice, trying to deepen it, “The contractor. That’s pretty cool.” Joel smiles, his lips quirking a bit to the right, “Yeah. We were cool. Everybody loved contractors.” You rolled your eyes at Joel, letting him off the hook and not wanting to correct him at all.

The days go by and you three have been closer than ever. Joel and Ellie discuss the basics and rules of football while you hum to yourself the new song stuck in your head. Enjoying the sight of Joel and Ellie laughing and smiling over mundane topics, feeling your heart more full than ever before. A part of you that had been missing so long, a family you didn’t even know existed, a family you now found.

Further down the road, you pass by the sign indicating to take the I-25. “Well, how ‘bout that? Made it in five days.” Ellie adds, “Easy days. I don’t know what Tommy was so afraid of.” Joel’s mouth curls downwards, “Still time to find out.” To which Ellie mimics his baritone voice, “Still time to find out,” she then creepily whispers, “The Contractorrrr.”

The horses snort and huff as its hooves clop and trot on the pavement of the road. You make your way to the entrance of the deserted university, Ellie says aloud, “Home of the Big Horns. What does that mean?” And you answer, “It was their team mascot. It’s a kind of sheep.” Ellie smiles up at Joel, “Oh, see? One step closer to your dream. Don’t see any Fireflies, though.” He forms a hypothesis, “They’re probably in the middle. Safer.” He nods and leads, “This way.”

Joel has his rifle ready with one hand on the reins. The campus is eerily empty and quiet as your horses trot on the grounds. “So these places… people would live here and, like, what? Got to classes and stuff?” And you nod, “Yup. Sometimes even do research, like me.” She points out, “Even though they were adults.” Yours and Joel’s voices blended together as he answered, “Sort of adults.” While you said, “They were fake adulting.”

“I think it was just as much about partying and findin’ themselves as anythin’ else. Figuring what they wanted to do with their lives.” Joel plainly puts, and Ellie chuckles, “What they wanted to do with their lives.” To your happy surprise, your ears perk up when Joel says, “So I’ve been thinkin’.” You and Ellie urge him to continue, “I don’t want a sheep ranch, actually. I mean, if the deal is I can do anything?” And Ellie nods, “That’s the deal.” He faces the road ahead with a gaze so soft you barely recognized him, “Well… when I was a kid, I wanted to be a singer.” Ellie laughs while you smile widely at him, teeth showing and cheeks pinched upwards, the kid says, “Shut up.” While you say, “Come on Cowboy, let’s hear it. Serenade me.”

“No, you’re both already laughin’.” He grumpily replies, his eyebrows knitted together, and both you and Ellie protest, “Well, you’re singing for me later. I’m gonna save the fuckin’ world, man. It’s the least you could do for me.” Joel relents, “Fair enough. Birdie, what about you? Have you changed your dream yet?”

You smiled at the two people you’d gotten close with over the past few months, the unlikely bond you now were a part of, “I have everything I need right here, what else would I need to dream about?” you said. The two of them looked at you, wide-eyed and breathless at your statement. How funny it is to think, we only notice light when darkness crashes against it. The melody you carry is the strength while they come undone and the aftermath that makes them new.

Content with your answer, you trot forward with your horse and you three stumble upon a troop of monkeys that presumably escaped from a lab, Ellie exclaims excitedly, “Are those monkeys?” The troop proceeds to run away as Joel says, “Must be from the old labs.” The young girl laughs, “Look at them go.” Joel glances at her and asks, “First time seein’ a monkey?” Ellie parrots as a reply, “First time seein’ a monkey.”

“Lookit.” Joel points out to spot a Firefly symbol, “Here we go.” Ellie says, and your head in the direction of the research lab. As you arrive at what looks to be the entrance to the lab, “Guard stations.” Ellie states and Joel hums, “Mhm. No guards.” Ellie is unnerved and wary, she asks to take out her gun, and Joel allows it.

You dismount your horse and tie it to the tree, Joel and Ellie do the same. You arm yourselves as you walk inside the lab. The sound of your footsteps echoes in the deserted building, you look to the ground to see documents and masks littering the concrete floor. “There were definitely doctors here,” Ellie says looking at the test tubes and you spot a brown file on top of the metal trolly. You lift the cover of the folder, peeking at the papers, your eyes skimming over the words while lifting up the yellow sheet of paper, “This is a packing list. They moved out of here.” Ellie’s eyebrows furrow, “They just left?”

And on cue you hear the sound of metal clanging from upstairs, your heads whip up in the direction of the noise, and Ellie remarks, “Maybe not all of them.” Joel takes the lead as you make your way up the stairs, hearing the clanging sound getting louder. Joel finds the specific door to where the noises were coming from, and he readies his pistol, slowly pushing the door open, slightly creaking as it does, to be followed by a high-pitched screech.

Two monkeys hop out of the room through the window, screeching at you for disturbing them. You all lower your weapons and survey the area. You snort at the fact it was so anti-climactic for nothing, Joel utters, “Well… at least it ain’t Clickers.” And Ellie mumbles, “Yeah, no Fireflies either. Maybe in all that research, they turned into fuckin’ monkeys.” You and Joel sense her disappointment, her need for reformation, and ways she could be better in her mind.

You look through the medical equipment and research notes, trying to look for clues to where the group of researchers transferred. Joel approaches the large wooden corkboard, a map of the United States is on display along with notes pasted on the side. You and Ellie walk up next to Joel to analyze the pins pushed in the lines that trace along the roads leading to the center. “That’s where they went?” Ellie said, pointing out St. Mary's Hospital, located in Salt Lake City, Utah. Joel nods, “All the pins lead there. Maybe gettin’ ahead of the weather… better facilities? I don’t know.” The joy in you vanishes against your will. The light goes out and your heart goes still, and just like that, you believe in ghosts.

But then, the trio hears voices. Looking out the window, Joel sees four men armed with weapons, they were raiders. You were weighed down by dread, the flutter of fear in your stomach causes your palms to sweat and tremble. You needed to get out of here and fast. Joel quietly tells you both, “Out the back.” You run down the steps and find the back door, your guns are drawn as you stealthily make it back to your horses, staying ever vigilant. You’re a few steps away from your horses, Joel turns to you both asking in a hushed tone, “Ready?” And you both nod, “Yeah.”

You run to your own horse while Ellie and Joel untie theirs. Something caught your eye in your peripheral vision, a blur of a shadow, and you turn to see a man carrying a baseball bat, lifting it while running at Joel. Ellie screams his name out while you ran towards the attacker, the baseball bat breaks as he tries to hit you but instead strikes a tree. You didn’t think, you just acted, protecting the two people who kept you safe for the majority of your journey. Shoving him with as much force as you could, the raider hits the tree, and Joel comes to your aid, grabbing the raider to break the man’s neck.

You didn’t even realize it until Joel had turned around, in the struggle, the sharp wooden hilt of the bat is stuck inside his abdomen, blood seeping out through the jacket. Ellie’s eyes grow wide in horror and Joel looks down, and grunts as he pulls out the sharp hilt of the bat, you scream, “No, don’t!” But you were too late, and Ellie yells your name, “Birdie you’re also bleeding!” You look down at your own abdomen to find a large slash across it, the maroon blood dripping on the freshly fallen snow, you direct Ellie, “Get Joel on the horse now. We need to leave before…” You hear yelling from a distance and you aim and shoot at the raiders with one hand as the other clutches your stomach while Ellie helps Joel up and back onto the horse.

You use all the strength that you have and pull yourself up to your horse, following Ellie as she shoots them back with you, she yells, “Get back!” And you three were in time to get away from all the other raiders coming. After a few minutes, you three have managed to make it to a safe distance from the attackers, “They’re not following us, I think we’re safe.” Joel doesn’t reply, and Ellie voices her concern as her voice rises as she says yours and Joel’s name.

He’s the first one to collapse from his horse, and you go toppling down as well. You feel the plush landing of the pile of snow, Ellie immediately comes both to your sides, and she says in distress, “Fuck! Shit, no, no no.” The cold weather mixed with the blood loss you were both dealing with were not the best conditions for either of you. “Joel, Birdie, open your eyes come on.” You bring your tired eyes to the girls and cough out to Ellie, “Place pressure on his abdomen and drag him using his sleeping bag, the rope, and the horse Leave me here and find someplace warm.” Ellie can feel her eyes sting and her vision goes blurry, it feels like bittersweet poetry. You softly grab your hand, “Listen to me. Ellie.” She tries to shake her head but you gritted your teeth, the adrenaline had begun to fade and you were beginning to feel the sharp pain across your stomach, you grunt and squeeze her soft small hands, “Ellie, remember what I asked you to promise? Go. Please, save him.”

It had been a campfire night out in the woods at the university and Joel had fallen asleep again during watch. You had both been talking about mundane things, to your hobbies and what you missed about home, to ask about what her life was like in FEDRA school, at one point you realized that there would be a difficult decision to make and that you needed to prepare her just in case it might occur. You didn’t memorize everything from the game, but you knew damn well there would be a possibility that you and Joel might get injured and Ellie would have to choose.

You grab her hand, abruptly stopping her from her previous sentence, and look her in the eye, “Ellie. There will be a time when you have to choose between me and Joel. In the event we both get badly injured, you need to save Joel, no questions asked.” The teen tries to protest but you silence her, leaving no room for argument, “Joel will protect you better than I ever could, we both know that. You need him more than me, I’ve been alone for almost all of my life… this is nothing new, but you… you are something so special. You must choose Joel for your sake, do you understand?” Ellie’s lips form a thin line, and stubbornly she shakes her head, “No. I’ll save you both. Just you watch.” Your eyes soften at her naiveness and hope, “You can’t save everyone, Ellie. So, I know it’s unfair to ask you this, but I need you to promise me to save him when it comes down to it.” Her eyes begin to water as she reluctantly tells you, “Okay.”

In a voice so broken and vulnerable, you hear Ellie whisper into the cold air as she puts pressure on Joel’s wound and looks at both of you, “I can’t fuckin’ do this without you. I don’t know where the fuck I’m going, what the fuck I’m gonna do. Joel, Birdie.” You give her a small smile, “Ellie, sometimes, just getting up and carrying on is brave and magnificent. Keep going, Ellie.” She sniffs and she lets tears slip down her cheeks, you keep smiling as you use the rest of your strength to lift your hand to cup her cheek, wiping away the tears, “It’s okay. It’s okay, Ellie. This was where I was meant to be. Thank you, Ellie, remember that you are loved.”

You feel your vision begins to fade and drop your hand from Ellie’s cheek, letting your head rest on the plush snow, no longer looking at the teen, you tearily look up to feel the snowflakes gently fall on your face. You distantly hear Ellie drag Joel and tie him up on the sleeping bag as a makeshift sled. Your eyelids begin to feel heavy and start to droop, you turn your head to see Joel struggling to open his eyes, seeing your freezing, bleeding-out body staining the white cold snow. Joel cries out your name, pleading, “Birdie. Wait. No. Please…”

You look up at the bright gray sky, blinking and slowly beginning to only hear muffled sounds. Your horse decides to rest next to you, knowing what was about to happen, cuddling your bleeding-out body, and staying with you til the end. You decide that this was the best way to go, protecting and shielding the people you loved as much as you could. So you hum carols softly, as sweet as you know, a prayer that our burdens will lift as you go.

Previous Chapter -> Next Chapter

END NOTES:

AGAIN MY BAD FOR THE HUGGGEEE DELAY – I 1000% blame the jet lag since I just flew out to somewhere on the East Coast! Sorry, ya’ll! T^T (Also the fuckin 5 hours of sleep, I am running on fumes rn)

YAY YOU KISSED AND SLEPT TOGETHER WOW GOOD JOB

UR OFFICIALLY HIS GIRL *confetti*

Holy fucking shit that was sO HARD TO WRITE

OKAY NOT BECAUSE I WAS UNCOMFY WRITING IT CHILL– its um, cuz, miss gorl here has never been properly kissed or um had a boyfriend lol so take a freaking guess to why

So writing a romance scene reALLY REALLY TESTED MY KNOWLEDGE, PATIENCE, AND HECKING ALL THE ROMANCE BOOKS I’VE READ PLEASE I WAS CLAWING MY WAY THROUGH THE ENTIRE TIME

I hope it wasn’t too awful or unrealistic :,))

HORRAY FOR FINALLY FACING YOUR FEAR AND VOICING OUT UR NEEDS AND WANTS GOOD JOB HERE HAVE A COOKIE

FUCK JOEL GOT STABBED MF

YOU ALSO GOT INJURED?? AGAIN?? WTF IS WRONG WITH U *bonk* ARE U DEAD OH NO? WTH!?!?1

ALSO MF PEDRO PASCAL IF I EVER MEET YOU I MIGHT HAVE A MENTAL BREAKDOWN IN FRONT OF YOU AFTER YOU DESCRIBED PTSD SO WELL WTF– ahem, I have PTSD and I’ve never seen me represented properly in any television series or movies. It’s always (usually) war veterans yk (CALM DOWN— CHILL PRETTY VALID AND PRETTY DAMN FUCKIN TRAUMATIC) But as someone who has PTSD and yk hasn’t been to a literal war it’s a bit harder to connect or relate to it (im not fucking whining, I’m just telling you my experience with PTSD) But the way Pedro showed it— fuck man. It was like staring at a mirror. My own brokeness represented in one episode. I felt so seen for the first time.

BUT THIS ONE, MF PEDRO U DESERVE ALL THE AWARDS

yay for Maria and Tommy! Such cuties congrats on the baby!!

someone should probably help me find a boyfriend— idk i Need research for smut :DD (this is a joke please don’t)

This chapter was wAYYYU more personal and intimate to write about. I just needed to do this right for my sake and others. 

Sorry for the delay! The smut part was a little bit intimidating to write since yk I have zero experience with it LMAO

Thank you for sticking with me and I look forward to all of your comments and feedback! It gives me an idea if im doing this right and opportunity to connect with all of you! I LOVE YOU GUYS SOSOS MUCH AND OFF TO EP 7 I GO AHHHHH

Grace

[the-fiction-witch]

Words Swirl On The page

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Sweet AF

Requested: Hi! First off I love your writing you're so talented!!!! I was wondering if you could do a Jack Dawkins x reader where the reader's mom makes them go see Dawkins because she isn't good at reading(but it's like dyslexia like what Jack has) and the reader tries to explain that she can read she just has dyslexia. Jack doesn't know what it is and the reader explains that she heard about it somewhere. I know that's not realistic towards the time period but I think it would be cute to see them bond over it. You don't have to write it if you don't want to. Have a lovely day!

Writers Notes: Fun fact! Yeah bet you guys didn't know you were gonna learn something today! Dyslexia or 'word blindness' as it was referred to earlier on was actually coined in 1887 but having been researching them estimated as early as 1877  so yeah now you have a useless fact. 

I sat and kicked my feet a little in my anxious boredom in the hospital room, my mother paced around like a madwoman, I wanted to roll my eyes at her but I knew she was just trying to help. The door opened and a man stepped in he ran a stained hand through his blonde hair moved it over to the side, a well-stained once-white shirt with billowy sleeves, and a textured blue waistcoat slightly too big for him, and a pair of dusty brown trousers. 

"Good Morning, Miss?" He greeted,

"Miss Y/l/n," I answered,

"Lovely, now what brings you to see me today?" He asked leant his elbow on the table, 

"It's her eyes, doctor!" My mother panicked,

and I let out a sigh,

"Her eyes?"

"her eyes! Her eyes doctor! I fear she may be losing her vision!"

"I am not losing my vision mother." I sighed, 

"Alright, what makes you suspicious of her losing her vision?"

"She can barely read for a girl her age!"

"Mother." I snapped,

"Alright, alright, if you could go and wait in the entryway I'll send Miss Y/l/n along when she's done." He told her clearly as annoyed with her yelling as I was, 

She nodded and happily left, she closed the door and her footsteps led away,

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair again, "she always that loud?"

"Yes," I nodded,

"Christ I'm surprised you're not bloody deaf." he chuckled which made me giggle too, "I take it you think she's mad?"

"I think she's overreacting." 

"Mothers so often do," he said, "But how is your sight really?"

"It's fine, I see you just fine, I see the room just fine."

"Fingers?" He asked putting three fingers up near my face,

"Three." I rolled my eyes, 

"Alright, alright just checking." he laughed, before he stepped away leaning on the door and putting two fingers up "Now?"

"Two." I rolled my eyes again, "I have trouble reading I'm not going blind." I told him with a slight attitude which he picked up on because his next test was to hold up one finger of course his middle,

"Now?"

"Doctor!" I protested,

"Sorry sorry" he laughed, "Well your vision seems fine"

"I know,"

"You need to anyone else about this?"

"The pharmacist in the town before we moved here looked me over."

"Ohh did he now," he glared as he came back over organizing some tools, "Bloody crackpots the lot of them."

"They say the same of doctors,"

"Oh I bet they do." he glared, "You know you need a building and a year of training to be a pharmacist? A year. I've been doing this for ten years and I'm still learning new surgeries and new procedures." 

"That does seem ridiculous but he gave me these," I said as I pulled out my glasses from my pocket,

"May I?"

"Sure." I shrug as I hand them over, 

He took them giving them an investigate with his young between his teeth, "You don't wear them?"

"I don't see the point,"

"They help?"

"No."

"I see, not stall doesn't make reading any easier at all?"

"No. if anything worse because they keep falling off my face."

"Yeah eyeglasses aren't the most comfortable." he chuckled, "Ahh well no wonder they don't help they are barely even anything I wouldn't even class these a strength one you may as well just be looking through plain old window glass." He said, "And there is a huge scratch in the left lens." 

"Yeah, I threw them across my room,"

"Fair enough," He chuckled, "Well If I were you I wouldn't even bother with them either." He said, "If anything they are probably making you more strained and stressed." he said finishing looking them over, I opened my hand to take them back but his response was to snap them in his hand, 

"Doctor!"

"useless rubbish." he said as he threw them away, "but I'll check over just to be sure," he said as he came close and checked my eyes with some magnifiers and such doing the dance I was so used to, look left, look right, up, down, how many fingers, how many lights, so on and so forth. The only thing of note about it was of course now... strangely intimate such an exam is given the doctor had to stand with one of his feet planted between my legs at points his face inches from my own his breath across my skin, and I admit it made me a little squirmy in my seat given... he was rather an attractive man. "Doctor Dawkins by the way, I never said."

"Ohh of course, pleasure doctor." I nodded,

"Hummm... interesting," He said, "I can't see anything wrong with your eyes no damage, no cloudiness or anything, and your sight seems perfectly fine. You may have a very mild astigmatism but it wouldn't be causing you any problems with reading or sight if that's even what I'm seeing."

"Astigmatism?" 

"It's a fairly new thing, a cornea that's stretched into an irregular shape. Instead of being shaped round, the corneas of people with astigmatism are often oblong. But I mean... if that even is what I am seeing here and I'm not confident it's so minute that it wouldn't be giving you any issues." he said before he grabbed a book and handed it to me on a page, "read the words for me I'll watch your eyes,"

I nodded and looked at the page but immediately the cream paper and black ink began to fuzz and blur together, the words and letters seemed to dance and change the spacing of the letters going from close to miles within an instant, as it all read like...

'E v      ery     thin  g ha    s it  swon  ders, ev  en d      arkne    sand sile    nceand    I l    ear      n, what     tev      erstate I     ma      y b   ein, the     reinto b  e c    ont   ent.'

"Interesting, it's not your eyes that much is clear," He said, "But still you're struggling to read?"

"Yes," I nodded,

"Can you describe what's making it difficult?"

"It's like... the words are dancing."

"Dancing?"

"Like they won't stay still, everything moves and changes, and the spacing changes I feel like I'm trying to read letters on a bunch of bustling sheep."

"... The words swirl on the page?" 

"Yes!" 

"Really?!"

"Yes, exactly how did you know?"

"I- I get that too."

"You do?"

"yeah, I uhhh I've never met anyone else who does," He blushed a little, he sat down beside me and we looked a the book together, "to you are the words moving around?"

"no so many whole words more just letters,"

"Yeah! like you try and read the word there."

"Ev-Everyt- everything." I nodded, "But the E starts off here and then goes off down the page and then the V seems to want to go over there, and then the ery seems to be too squished that you can barely see the R the T seems to want to turn upside down, the H is dancing around like a damn child and then I completely disappears-" I explained and he took my hand which made me turn my face to his dropping the book,

"I- I see it like that too." 

"You do?"

"I do. I... I don't know what it's called or why it happens but I see if like that too."

"I- I thought I was going crazy."

"So did I!" He gleamed, "I... I've never met anyone like me before." 

"Neither have I." 

"I promise you, it's not you. It's not your eyes, it's not that you can't read or can't understand it just, whatever is makes it hard for people like us," he explained, "I. I never thought I'd find anyone who saw things the way I do." 

"me either, but... I have heard what this could be,"

"Oh?"

"I have been reading... slowly." I said and he chuckled, "About a man in Germany an academic and a surgeon specializing in the eyes, he has been researching and experimenting into what he refers to as word blindness."

"Word Blindness?" 

"That's what he calls it, word blindness or Dyslexia when the reading is impaired but no other sight or mental issues," I explained, 

"Dyslexia, well I will certainly have to read up about it, slowly." He chuckled, making me giggle too, "Sorry I just... I never thought I'd find anyone like me." 

"me either," I smiled squeezing his hand,

"Would-  would it be imposing if I asked to see you again?"

"To see me again doctor? proffesioanly or?"

"Not professionally."

"I would like that," I nodded, "we could go for a walk by the water something that doesn't involve any reading." 

"I'd like that," he chuckled, "It uhh Jack, Jack Dawkins,"

"Y/n Y/l/n," I smiled, 

"I am delighted to have met you," he smiled as he kissed my hand,

"I am too," 

[jakekiszkasleftnutsack]

Mile High Club

Danny Wagner x f!reader

۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵

Summary: What are the chances you run into your favorite band at the airport when heading home after one of their concerts? Low. What are the chances the tall, dark, and gorgeous drummer seems interested in you? Slim to none.  

Warnings: 18+ GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT, secondhand embarrassment, unprotected sex, teasing, light degradation/name-calling, breath play, impact play for like a second, let me know if I missed any we are not being thorough today.

W/c: 4.7k

A/n: I don’t really do the christmas thing but here’s a little something to hold y’all over while I work on some requests and bigger things. Special thanks to my girl @whereisthemusic for the crumbs! ily

Edited by @garbagevanfleet​ 

Theme Song: Kiss Me You Animal - Burn The Ballroom

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Airports can be very liminal spaces sometimes. In less traveled cities the terminal has a certain eerie quality about it, like an abandoned industrial town but slightly more comforting because it smells like warm cinnamon rolls. You’ve been in enough of them that you’ve come to somewhat enjoy existing in that atmosphere and watching people go about their lives. Granted, it’s usually a lot more fun traveling toward your destination than away from it. 

In your case, it’s one of the less exciting times to be sitting at an airport bar, clad in your new concert merch. Your post-concert slump is hitting harder than it ever has before, as to be expected after seeing your favorite band perform for the first time. You had scored a spot at the barricade, they performed all your favorite songs, and you touched the hands of Josh Kiszka himself. Yet, despite all this, you’re sad to be at the tail end of that wonderful fever dream and returning to the real world.  

Nursing the cocktail you ordered for yourself, you pull out your phone and review the few videos you took the night before, hoping to beat the emptiness you feel with a little bit of joy. 

“Three beers and a tequila soda, please.” A very familiar voice catches your attention from a few empty barstools down. 

There’s something eerie about hearing the voices that fill your dreams in real life, so eerie that when you turn your head and spot Sam Kiszka leaning against the bar by his forearms mere feet away, you feel like you’ve seen a ghost. Your whole body goes rigid but your cheeks flush. All at once, you’re exhilarated but terrified, bashful yet determined to somehow make contact. For fear of letting the moment pass you by, you let slip the first word that manages to reach your lips. 

“Samuel,” you mutter, mortified to be existing in his vicinity. 

Lazily, his head pivots until he finds the source of his name. He looks slightly thrown by the odd greeting but he’s probably very used to the dumbfounded look plastered on your face, so he smiles a beautiful toothy grin back at you.

“Hi! Love the shirt.” He smiles with one side of his mouth. 

“Thanks! Love the music.” You silently cringe when you remember that you’re wearing the Dreams In Gold tour shirt you recently bought. 

“Ahh, touché! What’s your name?” He props himself up on one elbow as he turns to face you, crossing one foot over the other in the process. 

“I’m y/n, It’s really nice to meet you after such an awesome show.”

“Yeah, it was a good one, wasn’t it? I’m glad you enjoyed it!” He smirks proudly at the compliment. 

“Enjoyed it? It was magical, I was mesmerized!”

“We’re mesmerizing now, eh?” Josh quips, out of nowhere. The curly haired piece of ass settles into the barstool on your opposite side and reaches past you to snag the freshly prepared cocktail Sam ordered for him. “Haven’t heard that one before but I have to agree. Just look at that handsome man, so entrancing.” He gestures to your still unlocked phone that you forgot was zoomed in on a paused, lewd looking video you took of him performing Age of Machine the night before. 

All the air leaves your lungs when you notice your mistake and you quickly reach to flip the phone over, but Josh is quicker and snatches it off the bar top first. He holds it up next to his face, displaying it for Sam like a trophy while he parts his lips and rolls his eyes to the back of his head, attempting to make a similar face to the one on the screen. “It’s uncanny.”

“You’ll have to forgive my brother, he seems to have forgotten his manners,” Sam addresses you, then turns to Josh to speak in a patronizing tone. “Josh, this is y/n.”

“What?! It’s a good photo,” Josh giggles like he’s a master of comedy, but you feel like you could curl in on yourself and disappear.  

“Josh is all too proud of his talent for making sex faces.” Sam cockily makes fun of his brother as you anxiously try to grab your phone back from Josh.  

“Sorry, y/n.” He dangles it in the air, briefly lifting it out of your reach before holding it out for you to take, all the while smiling proudly. 

“Whatever you call it, nobody’s immune.” You shrug your shoulders in favor of Josh’s argument, hopefully deflecting the spotlight away from yourself. Unsurprisingly, he accepts the flattery and wraps one arm around you, squeezing you into a goofy side hug. 

“Ahh, see?! She knows what she’s talking about!” 

Sam chokes out a few beginnings of words but all of them fail to make a valuable point in protest. “Wha- No! You’ve just claimed another victim!” 

You’re about to jab back when Danny’s tall dark figure materializes over your shoulder between you and Sam.

“Well, hello. Are these delinquents bothering you?” He smiles down at you as he grabs the remaining lone beer from the bar. 

“Yeah actually, could you take care of them for me?” 

Danny laughs, but the other two boys launch into a tirade of various “hey now” and “wait a minute”’s.

“Not really, I was just telling them how much I enjoyed your concert last night. I’m y/n, by the way.”

He holds out his cup for you to cheers, so you tap the side of your cup against his. “Very good to meet you, y/n. Nice t-shirt.”

You roll your eyes as you take a rather large gulp of your cocktail but ultimately smile at his compliment as he takes a sip of his own drink, and watches your expression shift. He’s only being kind, he doesn’t need to know how mortified you are. 

“Thanks, I couldn’t resist. I wanted the poster too but I guess there weren’t enough, they were all gone by the time I got there.” 

“Yeah, we heard that’s been happening a lot, apparently.” He purses his lips and looks off into the distance somewhere, potentially in contemplation. “Well, that simply won’t do.” 

Danny turns you to face him head-on by grabbing the back of your barstool and turning you away from Josh and Sam. While you’re watching him, completely dumbfounded, he slings his backpack around his shoulder to bring it in front of him. He rummages around inside of it for a moment and produces one drumstick, twirling it between his fingers effortlessly before holding it out to you. 

“Oh my god. Are you serious?” You try to keep your hands from shaking when you take it from him, but to no avail. 

“Oh my god, the Holy Grail!” Sam chimes in, lightly mocking your astonished tone, causing Josh to make a painfully sad attempt at stifling his laughter. You and Danny side eye his friends together but shake off his teasing rather easily. 

“Ignore them, they get weird when they’re tired.” He rolls his eyes, offering a sweet apologetic smile for the rowdy bunch. 

“Are you sure I can have this?” Apprehension litters your voice. 

“Consider it a gift.” Shrugging his shoulders, he lets one hand land on the back of your barstool. His arm is actively blocking you from the rest of the airport and locking you in, figuratively. He’s also giving you an excellent view of his beautifully sculpted bicep.

You turn it over in your fingers, inspecting the various notches along its body suggesting it’s been lightly used. All the cracks and divots add so much character to the imagined worth of your gift. This drumstick is quite literally about to become your most prized possession. 

“Thank you, Danny. This is so kind of you.” 

“You’ll have to come to another show so we can get you a matching set.” You can hear the edge in his voice, leading you to suspect that it wasn’t a suggestion. 

“Is that a promise?”

Before Danny can answer, your attention is captured by a short brunette woman making her way over to the five of you out of the corner of your eye, furiously tapping at the phone in her hand. She smiles politely at you purely as a formality, since she clearly has more pressing matters at hand. A few yards behind her you spot Jake walking with a small posse away from the bar and down toward the terminal. “So sorry to interrupt, but our flight’s boarding soon. We gotta go.” 

“Of course, I don’t want to hold you up. I should probably go find my gate anyway.” You return her smile then turn back to the boys, who are moving with absolutely no sense of urgency.

With a clearing of her throat and a jerk of her head in the direction of the terminal, each of them begins to descend from their barstools. Josh downs the rest of his tequila soda, and they all take a moment to say goodbye to you. They thank you sincerely for coming to the concert and showing your support for the band, followed by a round of warm hugs. You try to milk each one for as long as possible without seeming too obvious, especially the last one, which happens to be Daniel.

“Thank you again for the drumstick, I’ll cherish it forever.”

“You’d better be sleeping with it every night.” He punctuates the last word with a wink.

Um- Daniel? What was that?

“Of course, what else would I do with it?” You two share a laugh while standing in extremely close proximity, only halfway pulled away from the hug so that you’re still holding each other by the arms. 

“I wish we could chat more, it was really nice to meet you, y/n.” 

“Likewise. But you’ve got a flight to catch.”

Based on the way he’s looking into your eyes, you know you’ll be screaming into your pillow long into the night once you’ve made it home. You’re sure you’re probably blushing, but you do your best not to think about it for fear of saying or doing something stupid. Because, let’s face it, you have no idea what you’re doing and have been walking on eggshells for the entire conversation.

Danny gives your arms a light squeeze before letting you go entirely and picking up his backpack from the floor. He walks backward for a moment as he takes his leave, allowing you both one final wave goodbye before he jogs to catch up with the rest of the group. 

What the actual fuck just happened?

۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵

As you’re scanning the signs for your designated gate, your much-too-large suitcase in tow, a foreign hand lands on the small of your lower back.

“Are you following me now?” The voice is one you recognize, but its speaker is so close to your ear that it startles you right out of your skin.

“Holy shit, Daniel Wagner, you scared the living fuck out of me!” You smack him dead in the center of his chest with the back of your hand in retaliation as your heartbeat makes its way to a normal pace. Your jab had seemingly no effect on him though and he laughs at your expense. 

“Sorry, I just couldn’t help but notice the drumstick sticking out of your bag.” He taunts, gesturing to your half-open backpack and falling into stride with your steps. 

Obviously, you know that Danny’s stick didn’t quite fit in your carry-on so it’s been poking out past the zipper, but you turn and grab for it anyway as you flounder for a comeback. 

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re the one following me since I’ve basically got an antenna.”

“I plead the fifth.” He holds his hands up in a defensive position.

Eventually, you come to a halt, and you realize that you’re standing amongst the entire Greta crew waiting next to their gate. You fumble for your boarding pass in the side pocket of your bag and check the gate number. You’d think they’d have made these things easier to read, truth be told you probably couldn’t read an eye chart at this particular moment in time, as flustered as you are. 

Your eyes go wide as golf balls when they finally locate your gate number. 

“Gate 6.” You say it aloud just to confirm that it’s correct since Gate 6 just so happens to be the very gate you’re already standing at. 

A wicked smile creeps onto his face as he comes to the realization just seconds after you. “Are we on the same flight?”

You tuck your boarding pass under your arm so you can readjust your items and get ready to board. “It sure looks that way.” 

“Do you live in Nashville? I mean… not in a creepy way.” The way he stumbles over his words amidst his excitement makes you mourn for your aching heart. 

“I might. Maybe we’re neighbors.” You shrug your shoulders and raise one eyebrow in pseudo-curiosity

“What a nice surprise that would be.” 

The flight attendants begin calling groups and special members to begin boarding, so you keep your boarding pass in hand and readjust your items to get ready to board.

“Well, since we’re sharing the plane I expect you to behave.”

His statement catches you so off guard that you stare up at him for a moment just processing the words. He quirks an eyebrow at you with the smuggest expression you’ve ever seen on a human man, an expression that almost taunts ‘what are you gonna do about it?’.

When you realize he’s completely serious, you stand up straight, clear your throat and respond with, “What are you gonna do if I don’t?” 

His eyes narrow for just a moment, pulsing as he processes your response, his smug smile never wavering. “I guess we’ll see.”

Sam taps Danny with a backhanded smack on the shoulder, signaling that their group is boarding. The Greta boys file onto the plane according to the flight attendant's instructions, and Danny turns around only once to look at you. It makes you snort-chuckle to yourself while you fall behind to wait for your group to be called, but as he slips out of sight you shoot him the same smug smile that he gave you.

۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵

Everything has settled down significantly since boarding, the other passengers are relaxed in their seats and the flight attendants are popping around every so often to check on things. All is calm, except for you. You haven’t been able to stop looking at the back of Danny’s head the entire time and your heartbeat hasn’t slowed since you were all alone on your barstool.

They’re not seated all that far from you. You can tell exactly who is sitting where, even though it’s not a difficult game to play. Danny has an aisle seat on the same side as you, his curly hair passes the top of his seat, which is right next to Sammy, because, of course. You can see Josh’s khaki-clad leg bouncing away across the aisle, and next to Josh is obviously Jake with his damn hat on. It’s impossible to miss. 

Their presence is beyond distracting. How many people can say they’ve been on the same flight as Greta Van Fleet? A majority of the folks here have no idea who they are; the fact that they’re in the presence of legends is completely lost on them. 

To not take advantage of such an opportunity would be an abomination - jail worthy in fact. But how to take advantage? That’s the real question. How does one get more time with them without forcing it? Why does it feel so painful to just take what they gave you of their time and be happy with it? Why does the idea of going this whole flight with Danny just out of reach after he so shamelessly flirted with you sound like utter torture? How are his shoulders so toned and perfect?!

They are perfect. He’s perfect. You can see the ridges of his side profile in that muscle shirt if you lean a little into the aisle, your chin propped up on the heel of your hand to look as inconspicuous as possible. 

Then, right on cue, Danny turns his entire torso around in his seat and looks back down the aisle right at your dumb little face. He’s smirking, like he’s fully expecting to catch you staring in his direction. There’s nowhere near enough time to react, but you lean right back into your seat and out of sight as fast as you can possibly manage. 

You wait what feels to be at least four years before daring to peek around the seat in front of you again to make sure he’s no longer looking. But no, there he is, turned around in his seat and smiling devilishly awaiting your return. You narrow your eyes at him, just to let him know you’re not falling for whatever it is he’s trying to do. He sees your suspicious eyes and shoots you one playful wink in return. He fucking winks at you and turns back around in his seat like a diabolical tease. 

“Well, that does it. I’ve just about had it with you, Daniel.” You whisper the thought to yourself, or what would have been to yourself if you weren’t in such close quarters with a ton of other people. The woman sitting across the aisle looks at you with distaste and you sheepishly apologize then return to the task at hand.

You pluck your bag from the floor under the seat in front of you where it was stashed and dig through it until you find what you’re looking for.  An old-fashioned printed ticket from the concert and a sharpie, one that you keep on your person at all times for emergencies just like this. In your elegant chicken scratch, you write out your message. 

It’s important to keep it short and sweet, you decide, so that there’s no room for interpretation. ‘Follow me’. Surely, there’s no way a directive so simple could be muddied in his boy brain.

The overhead light is already on, signaling that it’s safe to leave your seat and walk around. With one defining nod and your note in hand, you swiftly unbuckle your seatbelt and begin to strut down the aisle. Your target is locked in, Danny’s seat is just a few steps away. As you pass him, without so much as a turn of your head, you place the scribbled ticket directly in his lap and continue on toward the vacant lavatory. 

You hurl yourself into the bathroom as quickly as you possibly can to promptly stop your stomach from falling out of your ass. It takes you a moment of standing quietly to realize your hands have been shaking. Until now, your whole body was running on pure adrenaline and kept you from feeling any real apprehension. Now that the severity of what you’ve just done starts to sink in, along with extreme regret, you contemplate whether you should just flush yourself down the toilet. 

The longest two minutes of your life slip by, and still no interruption to your bathroom break. Maybe he’s waiting a little while to follow you so it doesn’t seem as suspicious? What if he doesn’t come at all? Facing rejection by having to walk past him back to your seat is out of the question. What if he looks at you? A ragged breath catches in your throat when that idea crosses your mind, threatening to turn into a sob if you let the thought linger any longer. 

Just as you’re promising to never follow your instincts again, the clunky bathroom door shuffles open, and in comes Danny without as much as a knock. While he shuts and locks it you twirl around to smirk at him, leaning your shoulder against the wall as you cross your arms. As much as it would have broken your heart to have embarrassed yourself for nothing, you can’t help but find it kind of hilarious that he couldn’t bring himself to pass up temptation. 

“How the fuck am I supposed to have my way with you in here?” he quips after taking a single glance around the space. You don’t answer him, and it only deepens your smirk when he finally registers the look on your face. “What’s that look for?” 

“You’re a horn dog.” 

“Um, this was your idea?” he speaks with a melody of bemusement.

“Oh, so just because a girl invites a guy to follow her into an airplane bathroom she automatically wants to screw him?”

He cocks an eyebrow at you and leans his own shoulder against the wall, mimicking your stance since he’s caught on to your game. “So you brought me here for some friendly conversation?”

“Absolutely not,” you snort, causing him to roll his eyes and shake his head a little at your teasing, though you think he seems to find it charming. 

“Well… it’s not ideal, but after that stunt I’m not letting you out of here until I’m good and ready.” He grabs you at the waist and pulls you towards him; he towers over you and you have to crane your neck to kiss him properly. You fumble with his belt as he pulls on the hem of your shirt.

“Wait,” You pull away gasping, and place a palm on his chest to let him know to pause. “I kind of want to keep it on.” 

“Seriously? You’re really gonna make me fuck you in my own merch?” He's unamused. 

Looking up through your lashes at him, you nod bashfully and throw in a lip bite for some added innocence. “Mhm, but if you rip it you have to buy me a new one.”

You swear you can hear a growl come from deep in his chest when he pauses for a moment to look at you before grabbing two fistfuls of the t-shirt material and ripping it right down the middle. A genuine gasp escapes past your furiously beating heart, followed shortly by a hiccupy giggle when you do the same to his own shirt in retaliation. 

“Hmm, would you look at that?” He glances down at each of your handiwork and clicks his tongue three times to chastise your behavior. “You’re gonna fuckin’ get it now.”

Some shredded pieces of fabric fall to the ground, but he makes no move to fully remove either of the tattered shirts, instead opting to slide your shorts and panties off. He shoves his pants down just barely enough to free his rock hard, veiny cock from its confines. Using the small amount of strength you can muster, you lift and perch yourself on the tiny sink when he grabs your knees and spreads them, putting you on display for him. His massive hands hold your legs wide open so he can bend down to lick a slow stripe up your center. Just a few skilled flicks of his tongue over your clit is enough to get you ready for him, but he purses his lips and spits on your pussy for good measure.

“Oh, fuck,” you whisper breathily at the filthy act. 

He chuckles lightly at your reaction, stands up, and positions himself. He takes his cock in his hand and smears his own saliva around with his tip before pushing in a few centimeters.

“Oh, fuck,” you repeat yourself.

“That’s right, babygirl. Fucking take it.” He pushes in all the way this time, immediately pulling back out to slam in again. As if hunkering down for the long haul, he cradles your legs, one in each hand, and a warm feeling fills your whole being. Is it too early to be seeing stars? 

You let your head lull back in ecstasy but he grabs your jaw abruptly, forcing your attention back to him.

“Eyes on me, sweetheart. I want to see the face you make when you cum.” You nod in understanding, promising to heed his request. He goes to return his hand to its place holding your leg, but when you open your mouth to moan he quickly covers it before you can utter a sound.

“Shhh, we have to keep quiet. Let it all out for me, but don’t make a sound.” The gruff timbre that lines his voice while he fucks into you at a merciless pace could make you cum all on its own.  

Your brows furrow to a peak, painting what little he can see of your face a shade of almost pained frustration. He flicks his thumb over your already sensitive clit to accompany the never ending waves of pleasure he’s pushing through you with his cock.

Out of nowhere, the tide rolls in and your orgasm ripples through you like a warm breeze and he rides it out relentlessly, his eyes locked onto yours. For all you know, the clouds could part and the gates of heaven could open to accept you at that very moment, and you would happily ascend. You try to scream his name only to be muffled into his palm, and through teary eyes you see the devious smirk that he tries to keep from creeping onto his face when you struggle like he fucking loves the power he has over you. 

Just as you’re verging on the point of overstimulation, he reaches his own climax, spilling its contents deep in your core for you to hold onto for safe keeping. His hand leaves your lips and comes down hard on the meat of your thigh with an audible slap. You cry out, but he’s in no condition to care about that while he shudders and moans and bruises your leg with his grip.  

The pumps come to a halt and the comedown is slow, you’re thankful that he leaves his cock inside your twitching pussy to savor the feeling just a little longer. Although, you hadn’t noticed that in the midst of all the action your position had shifted until he was practically on top of you in an uncomfortably crooked way. You can’t be surprised since you enticed him to ruin you, but clearly, he hadn’t noticed either and almost loses his footing when he finally pulls out, you have to throw an arm out to help steady him. His bicep is warm and damp, the vein prominent. 

“Danny, Danny, Danny.. getting carried away now are we?” you scold, clicking your tongue at him like you would a child. 

He laughs sweetly, like strawberries and sugar or windchimes on a summer evening. It almost takes your breath away. “How could I not? You’re a vixen.”

“Who? Me? Of course not, I just know a once in a lifetime opportunity when I see it.” You shoot him a sly smile and move to stand up. He holds his hands out to aid in getting you upright, but when you reach for your clothes as he fastens his belt, you’re hit with a realization.  

“Daniel. My shirt.” 

He looks puzzled, but still cute, until it dawns on him that you’re on an airplane filled with strangers, and thanks to him your new shirt is lacking structural integrity. 

“Shit, umm…” He scans the floor of the bathroom before scooping up his own discarded shirt, also completely unwearable. “I have a shirt you can wear, I’ll go grab it.”

A moment of silence. 

“Why the fuck did we bother being quiet if you’re just gonna walk out there with no shirt on?”

“Aww, y/n,” He pecks your cheek “That was just for me.”

۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵

thank you for reading

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[currytantou]

[translation] Dear Vocalist Evolve Entry No 6 A’ – Animate track / CV: Kimura Ryohei

also x-posted on my wordpress blog / ko-fi page / commission me! as usual, do not repost or use!! :')

0:03 Hmm, it should be around here… Oh? Oh! Found it~! Extra large sunny side up! Yeah, apparently it’s an artwork slash bench! As you can see, it’s the shape of a freaking huge sunny side up! You don’t always get to sit on a sunny side up, do you? ‘Nuff said, we gotta take some photos!~

0:40 Here goes!~ First off, let’s strike a cool face. (camera snaps) Next, go all out and make a weird face. (camera snaps) Lastly, gimme a big smile! Honey, I love you!!! (camera snaps) Wait, wait!! It’s my duty to check the pictures~

Hmm, hm! These turned out nice! Pfft! Honey, that’s way too much effort on that weird face! But, but! Considering how you still looked cute despite the all-out weird face, I expect nothing less from my miraculous girl. What’s your deal, Honey? A’-tan is getting dizzy over your staggering cuteness attack! So, how’s the last picture look like? Whoa! This is bad!! It’s a problem if anyone approaches you! That’s not true! Your eyes weren’t half closed but you looked right into the camera- whoaa! Well, hmm, that’s true. It turned out nice. Actually, it turned out way too perfect that it captured Honey’s super angelic smile! If everyone sees that, they will fall for you! Therefore, I’m not showing these to anyone! But it’s our precious selfies so I should at least send it to Honey. When you’re at home, you can secretly take a peek and recall your Hakone day-trip memories with Darling all you want!

2:29 (phone vibrates) Alrighty! Let’s get going and move to the next place! This place is bigger than I expected and moving around takes so much time. Since we’re here, I wanna briefly check the whole place but they have an outdoor art gallery and indoor exhibition. So if we wanna see both, we gotta be quick. That said, we can’t stay still. Where to go next? Of course, I’m gonna prioritise where Honey wanna go, so don’t hold back and tell me~! Hm? Which is it? Huh? Soap bubble castle? We have no choice but to go! (clears throat) I shall lead the princess to the castle so your hands, please.

3:26 We are here!!~ Hmm? The princess’ castle is being occupied by all those kids? They seem to be having the time of their life, eh? It kinda looks like a damned stylish jungle gym. Now that we’re here, we too should aim for the summit and climb it! (Honey stops him) Huh? R-really?~ Seriously. No way I am stopped by the age limit after all the effort to reach here. But gentleman A’-tan doesn’t mind letting the kids have the castle if that means I can have the princess all to myself. I am way, way more content with this. (kisses)

Nah, this is basically how overseas people say hello. Besides, everyone’s attention is on the castle. So, no problem, no problem! Don’t mind that. You should tell me if there’s any place you wanna check out. Although I said we’re checking all places, of course I’m prioritising Honey’s requests!

4:48 It was long but I sure had fun!~ Makes this whole Hakone trip worth it. Hm? Huh? There’s no presence at the bus stop…Don’t tell me we missed it?! Ahh…Nah, it’s fine. I checked the schedule earlier and there’s no changes. If we get on this bus, we can easily ride the bullet train and go home. That said, let’s sit down. Honey, I’m sure you’re tired. Since we’ve been walking around the whole day.

I know right. We managed to look around but not take our time. Although, well, I came here knowing that. Yeah, let’s come again. How about we stay the night next time and make it a hot spring trip? After all, Hakone is all about hot springs! Doing it right away might be tough but a night stay might be possible after cd release. I know right! I wanna soak in a hot spring! Of course, with Honey~ No way, of course we should! After all this time, Honey?~

Ahh, a hot spring with Honey….Honey out of the bath…yukata…her nape..!! Ahh!! Ahhhh!!! Just imagining it makes me lose it!! That means I’m booking it on the bullet train ride!! Of course, it gotta be a room with a hot spring reserved in it! This will somehow work out if I put all my effort into it! Besides, I still hold a grudge over the jungle training camp the other day. I definitely won’t let ‘em take captive of me suddenly again!

6:43 And that means, Honey, you should tell me when you’re free! But before that..! Bam! (A’ hugs Honey) Don’t worry ‘bout it~ The bus isn’t here yet and there’s no kids around either. I felt excited thinking about the hot spring trip, so I immediately need your lips, Honey~ (kisses) I’m confident I would enjoy myself wherever, as long as you’re with me. But having you all for myself gotta be the best when nobody’s looking. That’s how our next date plan should be. Look forward to it~ (kisses)

ー

tysm for reading <3 ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

[babiepupp]

Hi!! Idk if u write for Scaramouche/Wanderer, but could I maybe get a short imagine/hcs him with a regressor? Maybe with a padded baby regressor? Thank uuu!! Bye bye bear!

Of course! I’m sorry it took a little while!! Also I’m sorry I’ve been taking so long to get to your other request, I’m a bit stumped on ideas for it!

⋆୨୧˚ Carer Scaramouche HC’s + imagine!!˚୨୧⋆

♡ He didn’t quite understand what age regression was at first, and why you would mentally regress to babyspace and was hesitant to take care of you at first.

♡ Once he did however, he began developing a soft spot for the little one and slowly warming up to them while they were in that state, buying them the occasional soft toy or baby item for them.

♡ Due to being a harbinger, he always acts big and tough around you in public, but when it’s just the two of you, he’s a calm, caring person. He loves bouncing his little one on his knee.

♡ He often goes by Papa or Dada, but he doesn’t really mind and allows his little to call him anything they’d like or prefer.

♡ He was absolutely terrified by the idea of diaper changes, running to consult with Yae and Ei on what to do, but with a lot of assistance and guidance, he became quite efficient at them!

♡ He makes sure to keep Childe away from his little one, he doesn’t want Childe to get them into any mischief.

And now! Onto the imagine, enjoy! 🐾

☆ ^_^ <3

There was never really any peace for Scaramouche, his day full of scheming, training.. more scheming.. more training..

But in the midst of all the chaos and stress, he had you, his precious little darling. He let out a long sigh as he shut the door behind him, striding into his quarters in a huff, but when he saw them, his frown became a soft smile.

“Sweetheart.. I’m home.” He said gently, walking over to where you lay, on your baby activity mat. Scaramouche had procured many different things for you to create a safe haven for you to relax, a playmat, many stuffed toys and even a cool crib with the finest sheets and even a hanging mobile.

He crouched down besides you, running his hands through your hair as you babbled, nodding as if he could understand every word.

“Ahh.. I see. I hope you haven’t got into any mischief since I’ve been away?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he leant forward, gently rubbing your tummy. He thought you were such a cute baby, so wholesome and adorable! He patted your head, getting comfortable on the mat next to you, smiling at you all the while.

He chuckled lightly, watching your expression become that of surprise as he covered his face, peeking through his fingers to see your reaction. He loved playing little games like this.

“Peek a..” he murmured, stopping for a moment to build suspense before uncovering his face.

“Boo!” He smiled, watching as you burst into a fit of giggles before reaching for one of your stuffies, holding it carefully.

“Well now I’m home.. do you want to play with Papa for a little? And then I can get started on dinner?” He asked, adjusting the buttons of your onesie.. it seemed you were a bit too small to get dressed by yourself, the buttons were all wonky!

“There we go.. I’m very proud of you for managing to not only change yourself, but get into your onesie!” He praised, pressing a kiss to your forehead before he began to play along with your games, he was truly lucky to have such an adorable and lovely little one such as you.

This was really fun to write, and probably my longest post so far! I hope you like it! - Bear 🐻

[stitchedfeather]

It’s 9 in the morning.

Ui Koori would call himself a distinguished man, one that had many titles and awards to be confident of. He was short tempered, sure, but everyone had their flaws. Ui followed the lines closely as he could, and as he grew older did his morals and maturity melt into one thing; a Queen bitch.

Now, this makes sense in a setting of high-school, and trust me, Ui was Regina in the Academy. Even if he didn't know it. Because rich people are never self aware.

So take a 28 year old investigator in a place of work with his ( very attractive ) partner tagging along, smiling and humming. Investigator Hairu was a bit odd and a bit air headed, but she was sweet, smart. Respectful with nothing but good intentions, and always smelled like vanilla somehow but he wouldn't know.

But she was obedient. She listened, she learned. That's what made her an excellent partner, one he was proud to train and work with. She was never too loud, and a perfect example ( despite the few flaws he scolds her for like being doe eyed at Arima during a meeting ) of a investigator.

Unlike —

"Ahh—! Are those my fucking best friends in the fucking world—?!"

Oh no. No.

It's 9 am, he hasn't had a cigarette and was barely running on coffee, and Hairu kept talking over and over ( god damn it ) about Arima, and he had a meeting ( Hairu don't ) —

It already happened. Like riling up a dog, Hairu immediately snapped around with enough speed it had Ui stepping back blinking.

There stood Raven, skipping away from the S3 squad as she waved her hand. Full of energy as always. What personality was it today, who knew—

But Ui had a feeling.

Hairu squealed, her grin widening more than Ui has seen her before as she practically skipped forward meeting the older woman before he could stop her.

"Raven-channn—! Good morning!"

"What's up, sugar." Raven smirked, throwing her hand out and like instinct the two were doing some...elaborate handshake that had investigator Ui squinting as he mouthed 'what the fuck' under his breath. Of course a distinguished investigator wouldn't curse aloud where his subordinates could hear.

"Girl, you're getting better at these."

"I learn from the best~! We need to go out again, last time was so fun! Oh, and we could do a sleepover with the others our age, and—"

It was interesting, scary, cute, and almost embarrassing to Ui as he watched his partner ramble like he's never seen before. She was loud sometimes granted, and spoke out sometimes but with Ui she was nothing but respectful. But here? She was passionate, and treating Investigator Raven like a old long time friend.

And it made him jealous.

He'd never admit it, and he knew that the — 'investigator' had no ill intentions ( or so she says ) but to him, it ached how she could get her to open up like that. Just— so easily. There was no small talk, or gently easing into a conversation. It was natural, as natural as they had met the first time.

The two didn't separate for the entire day, and the separate squads had to practically tear them apart and herd em somewhere else. But somehow, it wasn't just Hairu.

She just had it with everyone, even those who didn't seem to care or straight up felt vicious hate towards the ghoul. No self awareness, always loud, always wanting attention. It was sad. But inspiring.

Inspiring not to be like that.

"How you doing, Koori." Raven grinned with a lazy smile, Hairu giggling as she turned to glance at her partner who in turn narrowed his eyes as he felt his eye tick. Exactly. Disrespectful.

"That's special class to you, and don't call me by my first name. That's disrespectful. Were you not taught any manners at all—? I doubt Investigator Suzuya would certainly not let this behavior fly— what are you doing."

He said, walking forward as he saw the two giggling and whispering.

"Ah shit, he's bitching again."

"He hasn't had a cigarette."

"Ok—! Ok! Ok, we get it." Ui pressed his hands together, before putting them out as he tried to force a friendly thin lipped smile.

"Thank you for your time, investigator Raven but we have a important meeting to get to. So, if you don't mind." He said, pulling his partner away to her surprise as she tried to keep up with him. This left a blinking Raven, tilting her head as she watched the two walk off before giving a comical puppy eyed look. Pouting, Hairu would groan as she leaned her head back before looking back like a distressed widow as she reached her hand out.

Ravens hand reached out into mid air, whispering back like a soldier finding his reason to keep fighting. Or the guy from titanic.

“Never forget me, I'll always be— oh shit! A penny!"

[lutawolf]

Big Dragon Episode 4 Review and Commentary

We left episode 3 with Yai and Mangkorn, deciding to be friends. Mangkorn's parents arranged a marriage for him. Yai is feeling jilted. Let's now see how things unravel.

How can the dads not notice that everyone else is unhappy. Dragon and Phoenix, yeah, okay. That's how you match people. Not by personality or anything. That's right, Mangkorn, let them know you are pissed.

Oh goody, a walk down memory lane. This is so sad, sucks for them both. Until we start flying a kite. I lost all sympathy. What the hell. Way to think a way out of this.

Just siblings chit chatting in a yard. Talking about losing their mom. Yai acting like he is five, instead of a fucking adult. I'm sorry you lost your mom. Life doesn't stop though. Exactly, what she said. Oh Yai. Get it together.

Damn, Mangkorn's gonna be in trouble. The Assistance are killing me. I love it. These fucking coconuts. All of them are the age of five. You fucking idiot. I can't even. Oh, so Yai is turning the tables. Go head then. 🤣🤣🤣

Oh, look at him hesitating to go out with her. He is suddenly cute, too. Why is he cute now that he isn't interested in her? And Mangkorn's mom knows what's up. Grow some balls and talk to your dad. OH! They run into each other at the café! Oh, that was barely anything, but it was enough to let Mangkorn know he cares. See that little smile. You gave yourself away, Yai.

Oh, I'm getting rough already, Mangkorn. Now we get to the heart of it. These fucking white crayons deserve each other. These are those characters that are a fucking mess and should not involve anyone else in their drama. Lawd. Did he really just say "I'm mad." Your honor, he can't be held accountable for his actions. Because he is a toddler. "Then I'm mad too." These fucking coconuts are made for each other.

I'm dead. "Give me your phone." "No!" "Come on!" Quickly hands phone. These two white crayons are imperfectly perfect. "You miss me, don't you." Ha! He has fallen. Timber! And you gave yourself away again, Yai. "Go see your gf." Oh, you lied. I get why you lied, but this is gonna hurt you later. Look at that cute and quick smile from Yai. Now, you are not even hiding your smile, as you call him a jerk.

Look at Mangkorn sneaking up on the assistance. Oh, he wants to know where Yai is. Skate Boarding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH, Oh, and he rocking the clothes too. You were found. He has his ways. It's your peeps. 🤣🤣🤣 I saw someone say that they give off dog and cat energy. I couldn't agree more. They really do.

Mangkorn is now at Yai's favorite spot. Look, everyone is showing off their marked territories. Look, he knows you enough to know it's the family. Has he been doing research? Reaching over and giving support. Oh, damn. Yai became vulnerable. You better respect that Mangkorn or I might beat you. Subby baby is cracking. Okay, you did well.

That's a pretty sweet kiss. Let's see how they ruin this moment. Who called it!? Subby baby got scared and ran. Oh, are we testing out our feels. Gonna see if he makes you hard. Okay, well, this could be fun. I think that's a yes. I could be wrong, but that hand motion and curled toes seem like he makes ya hard. Thank you, @biochemjess, for making that correlation between the masturbation and him sucking on a straw. 🤣🤣🤣 I especially love the smug look he gives the cup.

Oh, Yai texted Mangkorn. Asking him out for Friday. It looks like Mangkorn is gonna screw it up, though, by going out with his senior. Yup, here it comes. Yai is at the bar and he now knows Mangkorn was there.

Oh, who is this doll. He is gonna give Mankorn a run for his money. Nine.. Okay, then. Like nine lives kind of nine. I mean it's one of the lucky numbers; 3, 5, and 9. OH! He has a partner. Mangkorn doesn't need to know that. They are close enough to have real open communication.

Lost keys. Knight in shining armor. Don't you have a partner? Or is it like a business partner? Hmm. Food for thought. Oh damn! Ahh.. Oh he hit him.. And he called him out. Cliff hanger!!!!

Then the white crayons are going to wait till morning to call him. They made for each other too.

Alright, that's all folks! Hope you enjoy! 💜💜💜

[boreal-sea]

Hellraiser 1 live blogging

Summary: That was fucking fun. Amazing special effects, fun plot, characters I liked, and just all around absolutely deserving of its place as a horror classic.

that seems like a sweaty way to solve a box

Oh this is a fun place, look, a face!

So this guy has a brother he hasn't seen in ages.

Julia doesn't like the house. Rocky marriage, too. This weird house isn't gonna help lol. Ew, buggies. I do appreciate older movies using real bugs. Larry! Come look! A terrifying... mattress?

Frank is the brother I guess.

Then who is phone?

Kirstie has found a room, a room better than a creepy house.

Oh no, scary sex party photos. He was kinda handsome tho. Are you stealing that photo, Julia? Naughty.

Hey mover dude, stop leering.

Hello again Kirstie. Hello, ominous bridge. Hello, ominous bushes and trees. Hello ominous farmhouse.

"This is a big house" I've seen like 3 rooms so far.

"Her mother's dead". Lol. I'd heard that line before.

Julia, you got the hots for the broooo. I would also be kinda seduced by brother frank out in the rain.

Julia isn't concerned with you, Kirstie, she has an old photo to make out with. And to stand ominously at the top of the stairs with.

Now for ze attic. And erotic memories. Nice. I think? She seems into it, sort of? Kinda hard to tell, but modern-day her is totally into the - oh ok, yeah, she was totally into it.

Oh that nail is gonna be involved and I can't watch lol. *looks away*

Did she orgasm from that memory?

Ew that's a lot of blood. Bro why didn't you get a towel?

House: "slurp"

Ahh, the tell tale heart.

See, these effects are great. I really do believe this floor is bubbling with demonic energy and resurrecting a disgusting man. Fuck this sequence is awesome. Yeah I can watch this, but not a guy getting stabbed by a nail. Don't ask, I can't explain it either. That fucking rocked.

And dinner party, complete with laughter that sounds like it's coming from a studio audience. Also, you WILL get drunk, no leaving allowed! Except Julia, she's allowed.

Mmm whispers. Welcome back to the attic.

Kinda hard not to look at you bro. This makeup is awesome, and I love his dialogue? It's so casual, but also coming from a horrible flesh zombie, it's great. "Help me, will ya?" He needs more blood.

Ominous lurking, Julia. Love the lighting.

Kirstie, awkwardly: "Gnight." lol

Hello creepy fisherman dude. No idea if he's a fisherman but he looks like one. Ah, smack talking Julia. She IS fucking weird.

Of course he sleep talks. And Julia plots, and thinks about sex.

Frank's makeup is so fucking good. Thank you, 80's movie, for lighting your characters.

Oooh this is a cool effect. What's going on here? Oh, it's Kirstie dreaming. You know I give her credit for immediately calling. Too bad he's gonna die immediately after the phone call. Right? (no)

Hey Frank, you're not allowed to think about Kirstie, you already have a lady. Am I judging a dead zombie man? Yes.

Oh, so is Julia gonna grab a random stranger dude? And not kill her husband? Sorry, random dude. Come on Julia, think up an excuse like, "let's not fuck right in front of the door, idiot". I mean, he's sleazy, but probably doesn't deserve murder. He is dumb though. Julia isn't very good at this fake seductress thing, but it IS her first time. I think I would've stabbed him by now though. LOL whitie tighties. So unsexy. Woooo murdered. In his undies, how undignified.

I do love Julia's earrings, those kick ass. Tortoiseshell stars, fuck yeah. Very 80's.

You did a bad job cleaning yourself up Julia.

Mmm crunchy yum yums.

Ew he's even squishier. So slimy. Ew, no Frank, I don't wanna touch you either.

"Come to daddy" is going to make me laugh forever now.

I wonder how much porn there is of half-alive Frank.

Julia needs to dispose of a body, just give her a sec! Larry, you're kinda dumb.

Julia, you didn't really think you'd get away with murdering just one guy did you? I imagine salty skin on bare... muscle? would be very painful.

Oof, customer service. Yeah, you know, a complaining Karen and Dude Eating the Crickets sounds about right for customer service.

Welcome home, victim #2. "I like to be careful" - murdered. lol. Julia is a lot more chill about it this time, also she's becoming sexier! You know I will say she was very quickly on board with this whole murder thing. Hm Frank, you're still looking a little slimy, do you think you should be wearing clothes yet?

Ok so the cenobites introduced you to BDSM.

Julia is bored by boxing. "I've seen worse" LMAO. Also Larry, shouldn't this stuff make YOU sick? You're the guy who hates blood. Oh Larry, don't be a hero. "Guess I gotta seduce my own husband to keep him from going to the attic". Does she care a little for Larry? I think she probably doesn't want him to die, at the very least.

lmao how did Larry not see those rats?

Whoah Frank just slippin by there. Ooo he's gonna do a murder. Can Larry not hear her say no?? I'm so confused. Oh no, he was just ignoring her. Turd.

Marriage talk with your kiddo. It sure is "way beyond" you buddy.

Ah, marriage talk with the zombie.

Oh no, Kirstie is gonna get the wrong idea. Sorry kiddo, your step mom isn't cheating on your dad! Well ok, yes, she is - but not with that particular dude. Actually, the worse crime here is she's a big ol murderer. Oh wait is Kirstie actually witnessing the murder a little? I can't tell. She seems very concerned though.

I appreciate Larry wants to keep Julia from seeing the worst of the murdering. I also appreciate the crunchy noises.

I love that the whole house just constantly creaks for no reason. Nooo don't go in the attic. Eeeew icky touchy uncle Frank.

I don't know if she's necessarily smart for stealing the box, but she was smart to use it to get away.

Why is the nurse watching the "flowers opening" channel? This doctor is being so fucking weird lol. "Yeah you were found wandering, passing out, covered in blood but uh, we're gonna treat you like a criminal."

ooh, the box likes to pretend it's pretty, pink sparkles! Seems like the box can pretty much solve itself, don't know why Frank was all sweaty about it.

Hm, maybe don't go in there, this isn't a children's 80's movie. That is not a hallway to a fun adventure.

Hi two-headed fishface cenobite.

Oh fucking cool, the tiles glowing like that!

OH that's the chatterer, right? I know folks have named them all.

And it's our guy, "Lead Cenobite" - I mean Pinhead!

I love them all. They're so great. <3

Oh, is Julia gonna show Frank to Larry? Are we to guess he was murdered off screen? Does Frank have skin now? Oh nope, he's just ... wait. No. That's Frank wearing Larry, isn't it?

Why do you need to see a body so badly, Kirstie? I mean, he's gonna be skinless either way. Guess it'd be hard to tell lol. Of course, Kirstie is upset because this means the cenobites are gonna eat her.

All kinds of chaos happening now. At least Kirstie figured it out. Aww you broke Frank's new skin.

"Well, so much for the cat and mouse shit" - that got a real laugh out of me. *snort*

Oops Frank, you killed Julia a bit. Don't seem to broken up about it, but he's more into Kirstie.

There's still cenobites in the attic. I like to imagine they're just up there, twidding their thumbs like "... Is she coming back?"

I always think it's fun when you have a character wearing the face of another character because it means the other actor is playing the part now, and some folks do a REALLY good job at this.

Hey now cenobites, that's not playing fair. She's sort of trying to help you, remember? Maybe that was just a reminder "bring him to us and we'll take care of him for you". I think she's trying to draw him in? To where the cenobites are.

My friends are back!

"This isn't for your eyes" Kirstie slowly slips away like "yeah ok good I'll fuck off now for sure bye". She keeps watching though. Not sure why, I guess so we the audience can see?

Ooh, the house is bleeding, nice. Oh, Julia grabbed the box or the box grabbed her, not sure which.

Aw, Pinhead just wants to show you things.

Ah, so you CAN unsolve the box and it blasts them all back to hell. Also the house is collapsing because sure. Steve is like "no questions, just run".

Ok, the ending fight with the fishface was a little silly. "Oh, can't get a grip on the box, would you just - I can't get it! Gotta grab the box!"

That burned down fast.

Kristie, it's a metal box. Why do you think it's gonna burn? Oh hey it's bug eating dude. I feel like he was one of them the whole time. Oh yeah he was. A skeletal dragon???

And now it's back home apparently.

The end!

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

10 just because it would be funny to see how that would work x)

10. Someone turns themselves younger to be babysat by someone

Ok, so for the sake of this working, in this universe, Ricardo is an inventor and Luna got an invention of his.

Ámbar recently found out that she was pregnant. She was very happy with the news, although she was also very nervous.

"What if I'm not ready?" she told Luna.

"You will be a great mother," Luna assured her.

"But... I wish I could have some sort of practice! I've never babysat anyone, I don't know how kids work!"

Luna made a humming sound and dug something out of a box. "What if... you test it out on me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember Nina's dad is an inventor? Well, he had this device that turns you younger. With just a switch on your arm, you can change your age."

"Can you grow older, too?"

"No. Just younger, and then back to your current age."

Ámbar nodded. "Interesting. Alright. You can be my test subject. But... if you grow younger, will you act younger too?"

Luna shrugged. "Well... me and Nina tried it out at her house, and we grew to 5 year olds. We still had our current age's mentality, but it also mixes with the mentality of a 5 year old. So our vocabulary was not as large and we were more easily entertained by childish things."

"Interesting... let's try it out."

Luna put the device on her arm. "How young do you want me to be?"

"A baby. Under 1."

"Ooh. Are you sure you want that young?"

"Yes. I'm having a baby, so I want a baby."

Luna nodded. "Ok. But I have never gotten so young, and I don't know how much control I'll have."

"That makes it more fun."

"Ok, but like... I'm just saying, if I crap my pants, you'll change me, right?"

"Will you do that on purpose?"

"No, but I don't know if I'll have control over it."

Ámbar took a deep breath. "I'm ready for anything."

Luna dragged the switch on the device to the other end, and in a poof, she shrunk down to a baby.

"Nice, the clothes change with you, too," Ámbar said.

Luna let out a baby shriek. Ámbar picked her up.

"Aww, you're so cute... this is so weird, but also, aww!" She tried to figure out what to do. "Uh... are you hungry? Right, you can't talk... uh, I'll decide and I'll say you need to eat!"

She walked down to the kitchen and tried to find something to eat. "Wait, how many months are you?"

Luna shrugged.

"We don't have baby food at home, so I'm gonna give you yogurt."

They didn't have a high chair either (Ámbar had gotten pregnant very recently, so buying baby things had not happened yet). So, Ámbar had to put baby Luna in her lap.

She grabbed a spoon, and tried feeding her. However, Luna did not seem like she wanted to eat.

"Open up."

Luna started whining, trying to avoid the spoon.

”Luna… eat!”

”Ahh!” Luna screamed and smashed the spoon away, making it fly across the table.

”What’s the matter? Eat!”

Luna shook her head and started crying.

”I don’t understand what’s wrong!” Ámbar admitted. ”Why are you crying?”

Luna grabbed the device on her arm and moved it slightly. She grew some years older, maybe 2 or 3.

”I don’t want yogurt!” she exclaimed in her toddler voice. ”It’s yucky!”

”Ok?” Ámbar said. ”Then we’ll give you something else.”

”No! Don’t wanna eat.” Luna got herself out of Ámbar’s lap and down on the floor.

”But you gotta eat.”

”Hmm!”

Ámbar frowned. "You're acting like a real fussy toddler... I guess it's because you are one right now. Can you go back to a baby?"

"No! I like walking."

Ámbar scoffed and lifted her up. "You're still little, I'm gonna carry you."

Luna immediately turned the device a bit more, making her around 5. She became too heavy for Ámbar to carry. The second she got her feet on the floor again, she ran away.

"You can't catch me!"

Ámbar sighed. She walked after her.

Luna jumped on the couch. "You can't catch me, haha!"

Ámbar decided to just let her tire herself out. Luna had a lot of energy in her normal age, so her having this more energy as a young child made sense.

Soon enough, Luna started to get out of breath. That's when Ámbar grabbed her and turned the device back, making Luna regress back to a baby.

"No more playing now!"

Luna sat on the couch, staring into thin air for a moment, as if she contemplated what just occurred. Then she started crying.

It wasn't an angry cry. It was a sad, "I need comfort" cry. Ámbar felt a bit bad.

"Oh, it's okay!" She picked her up, "It's ok, Lunita... you just need to be a baby for a little while, so I can practice... also, you're so cute."

She petted her back. It felt weird, but she couldn't help herself to also gives her a kiss on the cheek.

Luna calmed down a little.

"I can't wait to hold my real baby in my arms," Ámbar said. "Feeding them, put them to sleep... and chase them around the house..." She let out a chuckle. Luna gave her a smile, which made her grin. "Luna, I can't help it, you're so adorable. I just need to..." She proceeded to blow some raspberries on her belly. Luna started giggling.

Ámbar sat down with her on her lap. "Imagine when my baby comes, and I'll just sit with them here... and they'll sleep in my arms. Could you be my baby until they arrive?"

Luna raised an eyebrow.

"I'm just joking. You can go back to normal." She put her on the side. Luna turned the device around and quickly got back to her normal age.

"How are you feeling?" Luna asked.

"I'm already missing you as a baby," Ámbar admitted.

"I think you're just longing for a baby. And you're gonna get one! In like 8 months."

"Yeah... also, it was good you changed back, because I realized we do not have any diapers in the house, and if you had stayed a baby... then yeah."

"It was fun being your test subject. You're good a calming someone down when they're sad."

"Yeah, were you sad for real or where you just faking it?"

"I was sad for real. As I mentioned, my current age mixes with the baby mentality, and like a baby I just suddenly felt sad."

"Aww..." Ámbar hugged her. "Well, if I could calm you down, I feel confident calming down my actual baby when they cry."

"You're gonna be a great mother."

Up to you if this was someone's weird dream or if it's an au where Ricardo makes age regression devices

[doyouknowwhoyouare13]

nyx reads icebreaker!!

it's been a while since I made one of these lovely lovely posts

started: December 30th, 2023

finished:

anyways the obligatory warning: I don't expect like anyone to read this it's pretty just my thoughts LMAO but I can be funny sometimes so 🤷🏻‍♀

and ofc!!

SPOILERS FOR ICEBREAKER BY HANNAH GRACE!!

Ok chapter one!!!

I'm also very happy she included a playlist!! Very cutesie

Anastasia's pov!!!

oh! so I don't like aaron and it's been 5 seconds

literally first page

oh!

"ended up holding a baby instead of a gold medal" FOUL.

oh!

um

aaron can suck my left nut what the fuck

WHAT

WHAT IN THE WORLD

walking red flag

oh no

they live together

I hope he chokes on a rock

oh!

we are 4 pages in guys

I

He does NOT seem fun to be around girl you need to run

EW

EW EW EW

I HATE MEN I HATE THEM I HATE THEM

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

oh!

SHE'S TRACKING HER FOOD I HATE MEN

HE HAS A SMALL FUCKING DICK I KNOW IT

I KNOW IT I KNOW IT I KNOW IT

FUCKING AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

oh he's blond.

oh.

oh.

ok.

Um.

running away now.

am I going to have to read smut 9 pages in

ok I lied he's kinda cutesie

awww I like him

ok chapter 2

Nate!!

oh what an opening sentence!

I did just jump back in shock.

oh I like him though

he's funny

uh oh

NOT HIM BEING SCARED IT WAS A SISTER OR MOM

NATE 💀

FOURTH????

oh!

THAT'S why

he's a cutie I like him

Henry's cute too omg :(((

THAT'S SO FUNNY

AWWWW OMG I LOVE ALL OF THEM

THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST TRANSITION LMAO

OH NO WHAT

Chapter 3

Anastasia

um

guys

RYAN!!!!!

AHHH I'M GONNA LOSE MY MIIIIINDDDDDDDD

HE'S SUCHHHH A CUTIEEEEEEEE!!!!!

AARON WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I'M GONNA KILL YOU

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

GO RYAN!!!

there's something so sad about watching someone age

YEAH YOU BETTER LEAVE!!! SLAYING THE DAY AWAY AND CURSING THE HATERS!!! WOOHOO!!

it shouldn't be used as an example as something bad because obviously it isn't

he's so icky...

like bro

REALLY??/ 🫢 I NEVER SAW THIS COMING!!!!!!!!

NATE!!!

AHHHH

AARON GET YOU UGLY GRUBBY PAWS OFF OF HER I'M GONNA CRY

AHH I HATE MEN GET OFF

chapter 4

nate!!!

already 30 pages in this is crazy

only...

402 left!!

haha

hahahaha

hahahahahahhahaha

yay!

russ you're in big trouble

NO NO NO NO HE'S NOT HER BF

he's so fine he has no right

HE'S SO SILLY

NATE 💀

RYAN!!!!!!!!

AWWW IT'S STARTINGGGG

HE'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AHHH

I AM NOT!!! I AM NOT IMMUNE TO HOCKEY PLAYER CHARM!!!!!!!!!!

I love Lola she's a cutie

WHATTTTTTTTT 😦

A SLUTTTTTTTTTTT

A SLUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

GOT ME GIGGLING

OMGGGG KICKING MY FEET

NOT. HER. BOYFRIENDDDD.

anyways!

sorry getting a little passionate 🥰

[optimismxmagicism]

Ewan in Fodlan!

Personal Info:

Gender: Male (transmasc) Birthday: 22nd day of the Harpstring Moon (May 22nd) Age: 14 Height: 145cm Weight: 38 KG Crest/Holy Blood: N/A Class: Blue Lions Affiliation: Gerik’s Mercenaries, Caer Pelyn

Personal History:

Magvel 791 - Was born to a wealthy merchant couple in Jehanna To protect him, Tethys took him from their home and fled. Grew up on the streets of Jehanna’s capital with his sister, Tethys.

Magvel 799 - Was found and recruited by Gerik’s Mercenaries

Magvel 800 - Started tutelage under Saleh in Caer Pelyn

Magvel 803 - Participated in the war of stones, joining Princess Eirika in her battle against the Demon King.

Magvel 805 - Received a letter of acceptance and traveled to Fodlan, joining the officer’s academy as a student of the Blue Lion house.

Interests: Studying Magic, harmless pranks, Likes: Learning, Magic experiments, brain teasers, sharing sweets with his loved ones, eating sweets, playing pranks on friends, Dancing. Dislikes: Poverty, the dark, being alone for too long, being made fun of for his height, spiders, going to bed hungry, lecherous men. Status: Student to the Great Sage Saleh and junior member of Gerik’s Mercenaries

Close Allies: in TOA: Erk, L’arachel Outside: Tethys, Saleh, Gerik, Marisa

Dining Hall Preferences

Likes: Saghert and Cream, Sweet Bun Trio, Pheasant Roast with Berry Sauce, Peach Sorbet, Small Fish Skewers, Fried Crayfish, Vegetable Pasta Salad, Onion Gratin Soup, Country-Style Red Turnip Plate, Fruit and Herring Tart, Fisherman’s Bounty, Fish Sandwich

Dislikes: Beast Meat Teppanyaki, Pickled Rabbit Skewers, Daphnel Stew, Cheesy Verona Stew, Pickled Seafood and Vegetables, Gautier Cheese Gratin.

Dining Hall Quotes

Favorite Dish

“Wow! This is seriously tasty! Do ya think they used magic to make it?”

Least favorite dish

“Uh…. I’m not hungry right now. ..what? No dessert?! Aw… okay..”

Tea Time Guide

Favorite Tea: Honeyed-Fruit Blend

Favored Topics

A place you'd like to visit / Books you've read recently / Children at the market / Cooking mishaps / I’m counting on you / Our first meeting / Past Laughs / Reliable allies / Someone you look up to / Tell me about yourself / Thanks for everything / The library’s collection / The view from the bridge / Working together / You seem well / You’re doing great work / Favorite sweets / Shareable snacks / Books you’ve reach recently / Heart-racing memories / Hopes for your future / Dreamy Knights

Tea Time Quotes

Greeting

“Thanks for the invite! I always enjoy drinking tea with a friend!”

Favorite Tea

“Ohhh, this is my favorite! Sis sometimes bought it for me as a treat!”

5 star tea

“Gosh, are you sure you wanna spend such a fancy tea on me? Well hey, thank you!”

Being Observed

“Aw, do I have something on my face again? I can wipe it off myself, I’m not a child!” "What is it? Am I just so adorable you can't look away?" "I can see the clarity in your eyes! ..That's what teacher sometimes says, hehe." "You can poke my cheek- it's soft, I promise!"

Introducing Own Topic

“I was studying before you called me here, so getting the chance to relax is so nice!” “Have you ever tried tea made from mountain herbs? It’s surprisingly sweet!” "This school is so fancy.. Kid me would've never imagined attending such a place!" "I wonder how my big sis is doing. I should send her a letter again sometime..." "You're not my first teacher, did you know that? I'm studying magic under someone else too!" "I wonder who got the idea to put leaves in hot water.. I wonder if other plants would work too..." "Hey so, I've been thinking about designing Pegasus-pulled carriages! What do you think? Doesn't that sound fun?" "The air here is so nice. So much better than dry desert air, yuck!" "There's so many pretty people here- but none are as pretty as my big sis!"

Quips

“Hm?” “Oh!” “Yeah!”

End

“Ahh.. I feel so refreshed already! Thanks so much for the tea, Professor!”

Misc. Dialogue

Gift Guide

Favorite Gifts: Armored Bear Stuffy, Board Game, Tasty Baked Treat, Gemstone Beads Disliked Gifts: Blue Cheese, Smoked Meat, Training Weight

Gift Quotes

Disliked gift

“Uhh.. Oh, here’s a magic trick! One, two, three.. and poof! It’s gone!“

Liked gift

“Oh, wowzers! Thank you!”

Favorite gift

“Whoa, is it really okay for me to have this?! I'll have so much fun with it, thanks!”

Lost Items

Doodled Tome - A beginner spell tome full of juvenile doodles, much to the original owner’s chagrin. It probably belongs to a scatterbrained mage. Location found: dormitories

Dancer’s Bracelet - An ornate bracelet usually worn by dancers outside of Fodlan. It’s held on a string, as if to be worn as a necklace. It probably belongs to someone close to a dancer who’s too small to wear it properly. Location found: library

Ribbon Staff - A healing staff decorated with flashy red ribbons, perfect for use on stage. Probably belongs to a mage that likes to show off a little. Location found: Classrooms

Lost Item Quotes

Owner

“Ooh, I was wondering where I dropped that! Thanks so much for finding it!”

Not owner

“No, that doesn’t look familiar to me. Should I use magic to figure out who's the owner?”

Battle Quotes

Mock Battle Retreat

“Owie! Aw.. I guess I still have a lot to learn after all..”

First Kill

“I.. I took on magic to protect my friends, but this is… so much blood…”

Monastery Lines

Choir Practice

“La La laaaaa~ Ehehe, surprised? I used to sing all the time with my sister!”

Cooking

“Hey, do you think this would go well with what we’re making? …no? Aw, okay.”

Tutoring

Instruct

Bad

“Huh?! What went wrong here?! Aw, boo..”

Console: “Thank you.. I-I’ll do better next time, promise!” Critique: “Yikes, that’s harsh! I was trying my best!”

Great

“Heehee, that was no problem at all!”

Perfect

“Did you see that?! Are you proud of me, Teacher?”

Praise: “Aw, shucks, I’m blushing.. keep it coming though!”

Stable Duty

“Aww, you're such a cutie, aren't you? Want a sugar cube- OW! Don't bite my hand!”

Weeding / Clearing Rubble

“Ow, my back is starting to hurt.. why don’t we take a break soon?”

Sky Watch

“W-Whoa, we’re so high up! Don’t drop me, okay Pegafriend?”

Certification Exams

Failed

“Aw, what the heck? I totally thought I nailed that one!”

Passed

“Woohoo! Do I look more like a great sage yet? Huh? Do I?”

Lecture Questions

Approach

“Hey teacher, I have a question!”

Question

“Hey so, I sometimes hear people say magic is lame and that makes me so mad! Yet when I confront them they just laugh me off and call me a pipsqueak.. how should I get rid of them?”

OK: “Just ignore them, they aren’t worth your time.” Bad: “Have you thought about bulking up a little?” Good: “Give them a demonstration! Show em who’s boss!”

Bad Answer

“Uh.. if you say so!”

Good Answer

“Yeah, I totally thought so too!”

Update Goals

Reason

“I wanna be a great sage like my teacher back home as soon as I can, which means achieving total mastery over anima magic! To that end, please help me train my reason skills!”

Faith

“I fight to keep everyone safe, but sometimes injury is unavoidable right? If I can heal everyone I can be even more helpful! So please, help me train in Faith!”

Swords

“I’m not one for swordfighting, but my sister and everyone else in the mercenary company knows how to use them! So maybe a little practice would be good, what do you think?”

Level Up

0 to 2 stats up

“Maybe I should just take it easy for a little bit…”

3 to 4 stats up

“Hey, not bad, not bad at all!”

5 stats up

“With magic like this, I’ll protect everyone!”

6 stats up

“Wahoo! I’ll catch up soon Teacher! You’ll be so proud of me!”

Upon reaching level 99

“Whoa… I’m already so strong, yet I don’t have a wizard beard… phew.”

Budding Talent

“Heehee, I’m just a treasure trove of surprises, huh?”

New Skill

“Ooh, I wonder what I can do with this!”

Reclassing

“Hehe, what do you think of this snazzy new look? Am I tough? Or adorable?”

Battle Quotes

When selected

Full/High HP

“Ooh, I’ll help!”

Medium HP

“Still got energy to spare!”

Low HP

“I’m.. a little worn out.”

Enemy Deals 1 or No Damage or Misses

“That’s all?” “Whoops!”

Critical Attack

“I’ll protect us all!” “Woo, watch me go!” “This show’s over!” “Magicaboom!” “Like a great sage would!”

Gambit

“Let’s do this everyone!”

Gambit Boost

“You can count on me!”

Defeated Enemy

“Oh! I won!” “How do ya like them apples?!” “My magic’s the best!” “Are you proud of me, teacher?”

Ally Defeats Enemy

“Wow, you were so strong!” “Heehee, don’t hog all the spotlight!” “Hey, could you teach me how to do that?”

Ally Heals/Rallies

“Feeling SO much better!” “Yay, thank you!” “Just what I needed!”

Death/Retreat Quote

Casual

“Ow ow ow OW! That was too much! Sorry guys, Time to exit… stage left..”

Classic

"Why can’t I.. move? I don’t.. Sis.. Teacher.. I’m so sorry, I completely… messed up…”

[bungouchronicles]

are you a minor?

who are your bsd kinnies?

when did you get into tumblr?

what's your fave bsd take?

what's one bsd thing (character/opinion/etc) that u think should be talked about more?

fave animal?

how do u make friends (i need help 😭).

do u play an instrument

share thoughts/reviews abt bsd

jus answer the ones ur comfy answering 💖

Hiii!!

Woah this is my first ask, thank you <3 Let's see!

1. I'm not comfortable with sharing my age on the internet so I won't, sorry.

2. Atsushi is my highest kin but I also kin Ranpo and Dazai (don't ask how/j)

I also happen to get Nikolai on a lot of "what character are you?" quizzes and I always relate to him on those "analysing kinnies" things but I refuse to admit that to myself yet 😋

3. I don't remember tbh, I started out on another account but I'm too lazy to look up how old that account is. I think I first joined Tumblr like 2-3 years ago?

4. Ahh I don't know! I have a lot of takes but I can't seem to remember any of them right now haha. I'll get back to this someday.

5. Okay I'll have to make a seperate post about this someday but probably how soukoku is (or at least was) what the other one wished they could be. I love their parallels about how they view humanity which I think already is pretty talked about but yk, you can always talk more about it!

I also think we as a fandom should talk more about Yosano in general, she's very dear to me <3

Oh and Bram! I wanna know more about him and his daughter. He's so silly, how could we not talk about him??

Also I adore the religious symbolism in bsd, we should all talk more about that!

I also think we should talk more about Oda outside of of the impact he had on Dazai. I adore Oda and Dazais story but Oda is really cool regardless of that. I almost never see anyone mention his own story and his motives? He's so cool!!

6. Car :3

7. I just kinda say things and hope someone likes me and that has worked out so far.

No but like, when it comes to making friends irl the best advice I can give you is to surround yourself with like-minded people (like join a group with a shared interest or something) and don't be afraid to be bold. I can assure you, most people want friends and will only be relieved if you offer them your friendship yourself. I recently made a friend when we were having a conversation and she complained about how she didn't have many friends and I just said "hey, we can be friends!" And that was that. She happily agreed and we have been friends ever since. 😊 Obviously this just works if the people you talk too are good people but you shouldn't bother trying to make friends with people that aren't. Hope this helps <3

8. I sing and play some piano, music is my everything though so I'm hoping to both get better at piano and maybe pick up guitar again

9. I'm so normal about this show. Uhm...let's see:

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Thoroughly enjoyed. Very well written and has been able to keep me invested for far too long now. The fixation never goes away. Help me, Asagiri is keeping me hostage in this fandom!

This was fun, feel free to send my any other asks in the future <3

[justsoohi]

Dream Maker/ Episode 2

Tomoya: ......hmm

Subaru: ?

Tomoya: ......Mmm~

Subaru: Hey Hey. Tomoya-kun, Tomoya-kun? (Poking his fingers on his shoulder)

Tomoya: Eh? Ah, huh? ーIt hurts!? W-what? Why are you poking you finger in my cheek!

Subaru: Haha, sorry, sorry. I didn't think you'd fall for it so spectacularly. a feeling of familiarity springs up because your reaction reminds me of Ukki~♪

You've been staring at that plastic tea bottle for a while now. What's the matter? Are you that worried about the limited Christmas packaging?

Also, I want to drink that tea, but if you don't want it Tomoya-kun can I have that tea?

Tomoya: Ahh. I'm sorry!

I was lost in thought for a moment that I went absent-minded while still holding it tightly. Yes of course, here you are

Subaru: Thank you! I was running around with Daikichi until a while ago, so I got thirsty...

It's so good...haha. Delicious~♪

Tomoya: ..............

Subaru: hm? What's wrong? Are you there~ Look at my face and say something?

Tomoya: (I wonder what Akehoshi-senpai thinks about that........?)

(He said he likes live performances and Christmas. Maybe I should ask him?)

Umm....., Akeboshi-senpai do you like Christmas?

Subaru: What!? Is there anyone who don't like it!?

Tomoya-kun! That guy who doesn't like Christmas is probably an alien or something, so you should definitely stay away from him!

Tomoya: I-Isn't it right!? As I thought Everyone likes it, don't they!? I'm not strage am I?

Subaru: eh. Is this really about an alien who hates Christmas?

Tomoya: Oh no. It's not like that

We had a meeting for the "shuffle project" the other day, right?

At that time, I thought the seniors were very calm and collected. I felt that they were just doing their job.

......Ah. Of course I know it's my job, too.

But Christmas is supposed to be a fun event.... and still I've been feeling gloomily all the time.

I figured it out why when I talked to Amagi-senpai earlier

The seniors think that Christmas is for the kids, so it's not for them to enjoy.

But. I don't want to do a Christmas live concert thinking that it's just an event.……That’s not fun……and it's lonely

At first I was shocked by the "shuffle project," but now I want to do my best.

Subaru: Hm~ I see~

Subaru: Well, you're not wrong. 'cause we're idols and it's true that we have to entertain our audience

Tomoya: that's true, but...

Subaru: But Tomoyo-kun wants everyone to have fun

I'm with you on that!

Tomoya: Eh

Subaru: Because. I would rather perform live thinking that it is my job, than to have the audience enjoy the show.

It would be better if they could see us enjoying ourselves singing and dancing and think that we are having fun together☆

That's why. I think you should tell everyone how you feel

Tomoya: Ugh~. I'm thinking about that too but I think it's cheeky for me, the youngest junior to do something like this...

Subaru: you don't need to worry about that. After all, We're all friends who have been gathered from various offices to form a "unit" so age doesn't matter, we are all equal

Everyone in "Trickstar" is the same age, so it might not be very convincing~

In "Ra*bits", Nito-senpai is older, but that doesn't mean no one can say anything, right?

Tomoya: well, that's right

Subaru: That's why I'm sure it'll be fine this time too! Fusshii~ and barry~ and Rinne-senpai are guys who understand what you're talking about~

Tomoya: .............

Hm?

Subaru: Huh?

Tomoya: It seems we both received messages at the same time

Subaru: which means... ah, as I thought it looks like I got a message from barry about the "Shuffle Project".

Let's see.....[We have a problem with the plan, so we will hold a meeting as soon as possible]....?

Tomoya: what's the problem I wonder

Subaru: who knows?