#ain’t no way we hooked up 2 months ago n now he wanna act like the victim as if he didn’t cheat on 3 times

[bo0zey]

y’all….…………….ain’t no way this is how i just found out i’m blocked by my ex

[recollins]

Unwanted (Spencer Reid x you)

To you, Morgan refusing to room with Spencer is his clear attempt to hook you up with your long-time crush. To Spencer, though, it seems no one wants to be stuck sharing a room with him. A/N: If y’all are interested in a (probably pretty smutty) part 2, please let me know! Pairing: Spencer x Female Reader Words: 4,659 Content: Angst Warnings: None Masterlist - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

One Week Ago

It’d started simple enough: a simple jack & coke, and a basket of fries to share between you, Morgan, and Penelope. Just a little something to unwind, hopefully make it easier to get to sleep tonight. It had been a hard case, and going home to your empty apartment had been the last thing you’d wanted to do…

Morgan, of course, had taken that completely the wrong way, and began teasing about finding you someone to take back with you. One drink in, it’d been harmless joking. Now, six shots deep, your self-proclaimed wingman was on the hunt.

“You said yourself you didn’t wanna go home alone,” he pointed out, cocky grin backing up his point as he struggled to stand up.

“I didn’t mean I wanted someone to take home!” you groaned, clinging to Morgan’s arm with a death grip, trying to keep him away from the group of guys at the bar he’d decided to introduce you to.

“Ay, you just said you haven’t been with anyone in six months,” he laughed, easily untangling your unsteady hold on him to try and stand again; you reattached yourself immediately. “As your friend and wingman, I can’t let that slide.”

“You so totally can. I give you full permission to let it do exactly that,” you insisted, dropping your head against his arm. “Morgan, really, I don’t want to take any of these guys home!”

“What, you don’t trust me, sunshine?” Morgan scoffed, then nodded over your head. “Look, I got Penny G a ticket to a pretty good night…”

Instantly your eyes slid to your best friend, leaning against the bar and talking to what would normally be considered a decently attractive man. And yeah, Morgan probably could find you someone to hook up with. Except you didn’t just want any guy, you wanted –

Morgan had capitalized on your distraction and broken free, already moving for a group of guys at the bar. You scrambled after him, snagging his hand and hauling him back desperately; he didn’t even stumble. Oh god, he was really gonna do this. You had to stop him before he got you tangled up into something you didn’t want to deal with. The words came out before you could stop them.

“Morgan no, I don’t wanna just get with someone! I wanna be with someone!”

That stopped him. Morgan turned and gave you a curious look, having picked up on your not-so-subtle play on words. That had been the sign. You should’ve aborted mission right then and there, scampered out of that bar and gotten your drunken mouth as far away from Derek Morgan as possible.

“Someone, or…” a smirk curled dangerously over his lips. “Someone.”

You opened your mouth to scoff when you realized what he meant. It hung open for several seconds before you stammered,

“I – I just meant, I don’t want a random stranger coming home with me –“

“Nah, uh-uh,” he grinned, turning and walking you back to the booth, gently nudging you down before sliding in beside you. “You meant you don’t wanna have a random hookup. And by that look on your face, I think it’s cause you got your eyes set on a particular someone.”

Just play it cool, [y/n]. You’re a profiler too. You can talk your way out of this. Don’t let him figure you out!

“I never said that.”

Smooth. Okay, it’s fine. You can recover from this.

“Oh you did,” he said slowly, eyes narrowing a hint as he studied you. As he profiled you. “There’s one guy you want to take home, someone you haven’t been able to get with that you’ve liked for at least six months.”

“I – what? No. That’s not – quit profiling me!” you squeaked out, drunk thoughts desperately trying to gather themselves to build a defense. Get. It. TOGETHER. You are a profiler with the FBI. You bluff serial killers all the time. You can bluff a drunk Morgan!

“Uh huh. That’s why it’s been so long since you got any. You been hung up on this one dude the whole time. And you know what else? I bet I know him.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Carefully back out of the trap he just set. Walk around it. Don’t fall into it.

No words came out whatsoever. You opened your mouth, and it just hung there as useless as your brain was being right now. Morgan’s smirk just grew.

“That’s what I thought. So let’s see… someone I know. Six months. You transferred to the BAU just about that time, didn’t you?”

“No.”

Oh for fucks sake, [y/n]! How the hell are you a profiler?!

“Huh. Yeah, you did,” Morgan said slyly. Okay, you had to get ahead of him on this! Cut him off, before he snapped the last pieces in place. Stop the train of embarrassment before it could leave the tracks. “Which, by default, means it’s –”

“I do not like Reid!” you blurted out at the same time Morgan said,

“… probably someone at headquarters.”

You both fell quiet for a heartbeat, staring at one another wide-eyed as the words you’d just thrown out settled between you. Oh. My. God. You had just outed yourself. This was not what you’d meant when you said to get ahead of him!

The grin that spread over Morgan’s face sealed your fate. There was no going back. There was no denying your admission, no hiding the crush you’d been harboring all this time. It was out in the open, and in Morgan’s hands it was not gonna end well.

You were never drinking again.

- - - 

Now

Morgan’s dark eyes flicked over Reid’s shoulder, meeting your wide, pleading gaze. A spark of mischief glinted in the wink he threw to you before turning to talk to the man in front of him. Oh god, you were gonna kill Morgan as soon as you got the chance.

He’d been quiet about your crush all last week and all through the first half of this case. You’d been expecting him to tease you non-stop, drop hints to Reid, hang a banner over your desk with your confession and throw confetti every time he passed…

The silence had been a trap. You should’ve known better than to think he would ever let this go. It’d taken time, but now that the opportunity had presented itself he wasn’t letting it pass by him. It was the perfect storm: the hotel was overbooked, Emily and JJ had already paired off, and Morgan had beat you to Hotch by half a second.

Now, he was breaking the news to Reid, and in just a few minutes you’d be stuck sleeping in the same room as the man you couldn’t get out of your head. You were still desperately making faces at him, shaking your head in a silent plea, doing whatever you could to avoid what would undoubtedly be the most awkward night of your life.

“You and I always room together,” Reid said slowly; you could see the tilt of his head as Morgan shrugged.

“We gotta mix it up every now and then. Keep it fresh,” Morgan explained, slinging an arm around Reid’s shoulder as he spun him around without warning, nudging him towards you. “Ain’t that right, [y/n]?”

You were still shaking your head, mouthing don’t you dare at Morgan when they both turned to face you. You froze for half a second and then gave a nervous smile, trying to play it off.

“Uh, y-yeah. Yeah,” you managed, clearing your throat and trying in vain to keep the blush off your face. Dropping his hold on Reid and slinging his duffle over his shoulder, Morgan wiggled his brows at you as you crossed your arms, scowling up at him as he passed.

“Have a good night, you two,” he teased before disappearing up the stairs. For several long, awkward moments you and Reid stood in painful silence, looking anywhere but each other.

Okay, you couldn’t stand in the lobby forever. You’d just have to act like you hadn’t played out this exact scenario dozens of times before with the handsome doctor standing across from you. It was fine. You could do this.

When you looked up, though, the look on Reid’s face caught you off-guard. He’d been staring at you but the moment you locked eyes he gave a quick couple of blinks before looking away, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth and nibbling nervously. His hands came up to the strap of his bag and he clung to it tight; something he only did when he was uneasy.

He was uncomfortable having to be stuck with you. Your heart sunk, twisting painfully on its way down to the pit of your stomach. You hadn’t even considered that Reid wouldn’t want to be paired with you, and it came like a slap to the face.

Let’s just get tonight over with, you thought desolately, scooping up your duffel and grabbing the key card off the counter, silently leading the way up to the rooms. Reid didn’t speak until you got inside, simply mumbling a thanks as you held the door for him.

He didn’t make any eye contact, not even looking up as he dumped his own bag beside the door. As you turned to move further inside, you froze. Of fucking course. There was only one queen-sized bed. For half a heartbeat excitement shivered through you. Sharing a bed with Reid? Yes please.

Except, when you turned to gauge his response, the look on his face instantly shut those thoughts down. The best way to describe it was absolutely devastated. He stared at the bed unmoving; you could practically feel the cogs whirring in his mind.

When he turned to you, you offered the best smile you could with all the aching in your chest and his expression caught you off-guard. His face was decidedly neutral but his eyes cut through you. At first it almost looked like heartache - mirroring the own inside of you - but before you could pinpoint it he turned away and shrugged his messenger bag off his shoulders.

“Do you mind if I shower first?” his voice was soft; you would’ve missed his question if you hadn’t been so close. You went to answer and the words stuck in your throat as you felt tears welling up. Swallowing them down quickly, you nodded and said,

“No, go for it.”

He didn’t reply, simply stooping and grabbing a bundle of clothes out of his bag and disappearing into the bathroom as fast as he could. As soon as you heard the water start up, you gave a pathetic sniff and quickly tried to brush the forming tears away as you dropped onto the bed.

It was dumb, you knew it was, but Reid’s rejection hurt. Hell, this wasn’t rejection. He clearly flat-out detested being forced with you and you had no idea why. You’d never really talked to him that much, admittedly, but you hadn’t thought that was such a bad thing.

You were a listener, and more than anything you loved hearing him rattle off endless facts about everything under the sun. Whether it be statistics on female arsonists, or the percentage of adult males in the population of Indianapolis, or where German chocolate cake came from, you were all ears. The most conversational you got with him was prompting for more facts. On occasion you got paired with him on a case, but more often than not it was comfortable silence and idle chit-chat on your part, and the endless stream of knowledge from him.

More than anything, you wanted to just talk to him, have a real conversation with him, do something more than stare at him with heart-eyes and ogle his attractive face. You never had, though, because you’d been terrified of saying something stupid to him, or making yourself look like an idiot, or coming off clingy and weird because you liked him so much and sometimes you just ended up staring at him because my god that jawline, and his gorgeous eyes, and those hands -

Well, now it didn’t matter, because you’d totally ruined the tiny bit of rapport you’d built with him over the months - god only knows how - and he had made it clear that being forced to be near you for longer than an hour or two was something he couldn’t handle.

For the duration of his shower, you seriously debated calling Morgan and begging him to switch with you. This was his damn fault after all, and you didn’t want to make Reid any more uncomfortable -

Oh my god. That’s right. There was only one bed. You let out a groan and flopped back onto the mattress, burying your face in your hands. This seriously couldn’t be any more awkward. The water shut off and you sat up quickly, wiping the lingering tears off your cheeks and running a hand through your hair, trying to pull your emotions into place.

Okay, you'd take a shower and then offer to get some dinner. Food solved everything, right? You guys could eat, maybe you could talk through the awkwardness, and if not you’d just build a dividing wall of pillows down the center of the bed and force your way through the next six hours.

And if it all goes to shit I just won’t get on the jet. I’ll leave the BAU and start a new life in Indianapolis and won’t ever both Reid again, you reasoned, getting up to grab your shower bag as you heard the door open. Reid didn’t even look up at you as he came into the room, still toweling off his hair, head down and completely oblivious to the friendly smile you’d offered.

Eyes falling to the floor, you trudged into the bathroom and shut the door, sighing heavily and slumping against the door. Maybe you’d just camp out in here all night. Would that be less akward than forcing him into a bed with you?

Ugh, you had no idea. You couldn’t keep going in circles right now. Shoving off the door, you turned the shower on and as you started to undress you realized you were missing something... Right. Clothes. You sort of needed something to wear. The last thing you needed was to traipse out in a towel and dig for your pajamas; things were already uncomfortable enough between you two as it was.

Shutting off the water briefly, you ducked out of the bathroom and made for your duffle, only to freeze when you caught sight of Reid. He was literally halfway out the door with one bag in his hand and the other slung over his shoulder, eyes wide, staring at you like you’d just caught him committing murder.

Or, y’know, awkwardly trying to abandon you while you were showering.

The two of you stood in painful, tense silence and you literally fought back tears when things clicked into place. He’d been planning his escape - he’d opted to take a shower first just for this reason.

He was so miserable being stuck with you he was literally running the first chance he got. You dropped your eyes to your feet, trying to think of what to say. Had you really made him that uncomfortable? Guilt overwhelmed everything else, realizing it was all your fault Morgan had done this.

“You don’t need to leave,” you whispered, hands wringing together as you tried to keep your voice steady. “I can go crash with JJ and Emily.”

“It’s fine,” he dismissed, the hard edge in his voice cutting into your already sensitive heart. “I don’t want to inconvenience you more than I have.”

What? You peeked up at him through your lashes, frown on your face. He wasn’t looking at you, head turned away, jaw clenched tight.

“You aren’t an inconvenience.” Reid’s lips pressed together into a tight line and he took a breath before he said quietly,

“You don’t have to be nice to me to spare my feelings, [y/n]. Despite what most people think I’m not oblivious when it comes to reading emotions. I’m actually very good at picking up on unspoken cues.”

“I never thought you weren’t,” you told him almost defensively. Why did it feel like he saw himself as the one being attacked here? He was the one running out on you. “I’m not just being nice. I – I really don’t mind you here.”

Well, you could’ve sounded a bit more convincing but again, your nerves and the emotions were getting the best of you and your words weren’t coming out as you wanted them to. Finally, though, Reid turned to look at you. That same emotion was in his gaze again, chocolate eyes glinting with a sadness you hadn’t expected, though the expression on his face hardened into a defensive frown as he threw out sharply,

“You and Morgan really need to work on telling a convincing lie.”

His quip was a blow to the stomach, knocking the breath out of you as you actually recoiled from his harsh tone. When he caught sight of your reaction his frown faltered. Wounded now, all you managed to ask was,

“Why would I lie to you, Reid?”

With a heavy sigh, obviously considering just taking off down the hall, he stepped back into the room and let the door shut. Though he sat his duffle down, his messenger bag stayed in place across his shoulders and his hands came up to tangle in the strap again.

“I saw the looks you were giving Morgan earlier, [y/n]. You didn’t want room with me. And I get it.” His eyes fell to his shoes, hands wringing the strap tighter, voice tightening with emotion as he said softly, “it’s always a race to avoid being paired with me. And normally Morgan sucks it up, but I guess he’s tired of me too. It’s not fair for you to be stuck with me, so I’m not putting you in that position.”

Oh. Oh no.

Your mind replayed the moments in the lobby, guilt and shame swarming you when you realized exactly how that had looked to Reid. Morgan pushing him off with a bullshit line of “We gotta mix it up every now and then”. You, practically jumping up and down begging not to be with Reid, and then scowling at Morgan when he teased you for the matchup. It had looked like you’d drawn the short straw, like Reid was unwanted.

“I’m so sorry,” you said quickly, heart twisting when he didn’t look over at you. “That’s not it at all. I – I mean, I didn’t wanna spend the night with you but –“

“It’s okay, [y/n], I get it.”

“You don’t,” you insisted; the tone of your voice caught his attention and finally he met your eyes. He took in your expression - and the blush on your cheeks - and his brows drew into a frown. “It’s not you, okay? There’s nothing wrong with you, like at all.”

“What is it then?” he pressed, the challenge in his gaze making it clear he really didn’t believe you. He thought you were still just trying to be nice.

You know what? Fuck it. Things were already messy as it was, why not throw everything into the blender and turn it on high?

"I didn’t want to room with you because I’ve had a crush on you for months and I didn’t want to make things uncomfortable for you because I don’t know how to act when I’m with you and I didn’t wanna put you in an awkward position,” you rushed out in one breath, speaking before you could stop yourself.

The words hung in the air between you two as painful silence followed your confession. Reid’s brows drew together even more, and for a moment he ducked his head, processing what you’d just said. I mean, you knew it had just been an unexpected dump of information, but the silence was killing you. Did he not believe you? Did he maybe like you back? Had you just made things worse? Was he gonna file harassment complaints with HR and get a restraining order on you?!

Seriously, he had to say something before you imploded.

Finally, after what felt like years, Reid met your eyes again. This time, the unwavering doubt and defensiveness in his stare caught you off guard and you stayed quiet, waiting for him to speak because you had no idea what to do with the look he was giving you.

“Morgan put you up to this, didn’t he?”

Well, you hadn’t been expecting that. Clearly, Morgan hadn’t told him about your crush, but what did he think was going on? All your years on this earth and all your time as a profiler had not prepared you to figure out what the hell was happening.

“What do you mean?” you hedged; he took your roundabout answer as confirmation and he blew out a bitter breath. He deflated, like for just a heartbeat he’d let himself believe my words and now I’d ripped that away from him. “Reid –“

“It’s part of his prank war, right? I took all the spoons out of his apartment –“ ...he what? “ – so he has you pretend you like me.”

Admittedly that hurt a little bit. Your feelings for him were a joke? Defensive again, you crossed your arms and challenged,

“Why would that be a prank?” when he gave you a look as if to say why do you think, you repeated, “I like you, Reid.”

“You don’t,” he deflected immediately. You opened your mouth to argue and he gave a bitter laugh. “You can’t.”

Okay, you knew you weren’t on his level with pretty much anything – smarts, looks, personality… - but seriously. You weren’t allowed to like him because of that?

“What? Why not?” you scoffed, defensive argument on the ready as he told you simply,

“Because beautiful girls like you don’t like dorky, ugly guys like me, [y/n]. I don’t get lucky like that. I let it slip to Morgan that I liked you and I thought that was safe with him but clearly he’s just trying to use that against me.”

Your mouth was still open, having been ready to defend yourself, but now you just couldn’t comprehend what he’d just told you. Reid thought you were beautiful? He… he thought you liking him would be lucky? He’d told Morgan he liked you?! Your heart was stuttering in your chest, still stuck trying desperately to wrap around the fact that Spencer Reid thought you were beautiful.

Once again he took your silence as agreement – oblivious to your bright red face and open-mouthed stare – because he went on,

“I appreciate you trying to be kind but you really don’t need to –“

You did the only thing you could think to do. Before you could second-guess yourself, you crossed the room and stepped up to Reid, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him down into a hard kiss. He made a noise of surprise, holding absolutely still as your lips moved against his, trying to convey the honesty you’d been trying to tell him. When he still hadn’t moved, concern sparked in your chest and instantly you broke away, your hand slowly trailing down his jaw as you retreated back half a step.

All he could do was stare at you in complete and total shock. His lips were parted as he drew in a ragged breath, wide eyes flicking back and forth between your own. Okay, he really needed to stop with the painful silences. The embarrassed flush crept slowly up your neck, heating up your face as your hand came up to nervously rub the back of your neck.

“What –“ his voice was an octave higher than normal and he quickly cleared his throat, blinking rapidly as he tried again, “what was that for? Not – not that I mind. I don’t – I just, I don’t understand –“

“I was being serious. I’ve had a crush on you for a long time,” you admitted, dropping your eyes, embarrassment overwhelming to the point you couldn’t meet his stare anymore. “Since I met you, actually. And it wasn’t supposed to come out, like, ever, because I never figured you would like me back. But I got drunk around Morgan and it came out… He said he’s my self-proclaimed wingman so I guess this was –“

“Why wouldn’t I like you?” he pressed softly, taking a step towards you. Unable to look up, nerves still overwhelming you, you simply shrugged your shoulders and said meekly,

“You’re so sweet, and so funny and – and you’re crazy smart. You’re like, the most brilliant person I’ve ever met. And, y’know, you’re kind of ridiculously attractive.” His words from a few moments ago sprung up and now you did flick your eyes up to his to add heatedly, “you’re not a dorky, ugly kid. I hate that you see yourself that way, because to me you’re the opposite.”

His eyes were burning into you, cutting through your core with such an intensity it took your breath away. When he didn’t say anything you had to drop your gaze just to get your thoughts back in order.

Reid’s hand tentatively reached out to you, fingers gently tucking under your chin to tilt your head up. As your eyes met again he closed the distance between the two of you, hand sliding up your jaw until his hand cupped your face. Slowly, he leaned down towards you, giving you time to pull away if you’d wanted to.

You didn’t move.

The ghost of a smile turned up his lips for just a moment before they found yours once again. His eyes fluttered shut and yours did the same as his lips moved gently against your own. Your hand came up to rest over his, making sure he staid put as you pulled back just a hint so you could steal another kiss, capturing his bottom lip between both of yours, sucking softly and drawing a near-imperceptible sigh out of Reid.

You were completely lost in the moment with him as it finally registered that you were kissing Spencer Reid. You were kissing Spencer Reid. In all the months you’d pined about doing this, all the thoughts that had run rampant about the handsome profiler you were fawning over, this easily topped your highest expectations.

When you and Reid finally pulled away, breathless from just those short moments, the smiles couldn’t be helped. You met each others eyes and your grins widened, both ducking your heads as you processed what had happened. Reid’s hand slowly slid down your cheek, fingers brushing your jaw, thumb lightly tugging against your lip and sending sparks through your body.  

“I, um, I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” you admitted softly, shy smile curling over your kiss-swollen lips. As you went to step back, Spencer’s hand fell from your face to wrap over the side of your neck, holding you in place.

“I have too,” he murmured, thumb now brushing lightly over the curve of your throat, drawing a shiver out of you that darkened his eyes instantly. He leaned down, catching your lips in a hard, hungry kiss, worlds different from the tentative ones just moments ago.

His tongue swept across your bottom lip and you parted instantly, moaning softly as he took claim over your mouth, hand tightening just a hint against your neck. He tugged back for just a heartbeat, only long enough to catch his breath as he said lowly,

“I’m done waiting, [y/n].” Part 2