#aka something i sketched out a week or two ago lol

[roseseatea]

💕

[golbrocklovely]

season two finished a week ago, and i still couldn't get this out on time....

anyway, here's my review for the finale of season two

aka "The Hauntings of Cosmo Hotel (w/ FazeRug)"

so, while i was excited bc this was the finale, i also wasn't excited bc… for some reason, any video with fazerug ends up being kinda mediocre (but not bc of him. i actually think he's a fun person for them to collab with). but i had high hopes.

and this episode did not disappoint :)

okay, so starting off with them exploring the hotel… i hope for their sake they are the only ppl there bc dear lord they were SO LOUD.

when they later talked about room 11 and how ysidora chills there a lot, i was like "please not another maddie moment" sksksk

and then them entering room 4, i gotta be honest - what do they think a grandma smells like? bc they say that often. i'm assuming it's just florals, but still.

the history of this hotel sounds really cool. and honestly, i like the more lighthearted places. them facing demons every investigations, while fun, can feel like a lot. but this place seems pretty chill.

snc hiring a guy to play guitar music is hilarious to me. i would love to know how that conversation went down. and then for them to change into nice clothes, only to change back afterwards? omg i love them so much lol

also colby in that purple velour looking shirt….. wear that more often please. thank you.

also also i love that he can't button the shirt up all the way, he has to show just a bit of chest. what a slut haha

so… into the investigation:

idk if them hiring the guitar player really did anything, but you know what? i'm all for them taking a chance to see if it would. plus it was fun and only lasted a solid 3 minutes max. and again, their spiffy outfits were worth it.

that being said, the light outside…. not paranormal. you expect an 175+ year old building to have constant, non-flickering light fixtures? okay babes.

okay so the psychic/empath guy: i kinda sorta have a lot to say about him, but then i also kinda don't. i don't know why, but i just don't like him. something about him feels off to me, but i can't place why that's the case. the whole time, i was just side eyeing him, and it wasn't bc of what he was trying to show the boys (but i didn't particularly like that either). i wish i could explain the way i feel about him, but the best way to describe it is… i feel like he's lying, or at the very least, i'm sketched out by him.

that being said, i think the experiment that he did with the boys was good, and i think they should do similar things like that in the future, just to open themselves up. personally, my problem with his technique is that what he should have been doing is telling them to stand in a certain spot and then ask "what do you feel?" instead of saying "there's a ghost touching your back, do you feel that?" bc that just makes them hyper aware of their back, so of course they're gonna be suggested to feel a pressure on their back when it could be their clothes, the chair they're in, or just their mind telling them to feel pressure. and the same thing with just standing in one spot and staring at something for a while. personally, i don't think they were really seeing anything, so much as they were just staring into the darkness and their eyes were starting to play tricks on them. you can't jump from barely being empathic to seeing figures. but, if they felt like this helped them a lot open up, then i guess it's fine, even if i didn't fully agree with it. i feel like there are so many other ways for them to open themselves up. like maybe doing a tarot reading (or getting one done) before their investigation or even just sitting down and meditating would be an easier way to open themselves up.

the sls camera and the rempod together - fucking match made in heaven. bc honestly, for a hot minute there, i was thinking their equipment just might be broken or whatnot. but seeing that there was something there that was setting the rempod off….. omg please use the sls camera more thank you.

also, just a funny side note, there was multiple times during the night that faze almost ran into sam's arms. it was adorable.

colby, you want me to do WHAT to the like button?????? lmao

the boo bear and the ovulus not working or not giving much is good bc neither one of those things are fun to listen to. personally, i don't think the boo bear really works. and the ovulus is just strange to me.

and i've said this before, but i don't like when they use the spirit box without headphones on or something. bc i literally never hear (and neither do they) what they think it's saying.

colby is really the only one good at the estes method, both when he physically does it and when he asks questions. sam never remembers to either ask control questions, or make the connection that maybe the ghosts aren't in the room with them, but just in the hotel. that being said, i think it was cool that clearly they were talking to something and they just wanted to party lol

the psychomanteum is cool, but again, i don't really think it's paranormal. but i'm genuinely curious as to why sam sees stuff that colby never sees. maybe, this is the way the sam is empathic. maybe he sees stuff, while colby feels. while i LOVE colby finally opening himself up to these empath tendencies he has, i would love for sam to do the same thing.

colby saying he's "becoming the empath"…. this boy is playing with my feelings now. i've been saying for OVER A YEAR he was empathic and now he's just like "yeah i am :)"

the estes method this time was really cool. clearly they were talking to ysidora and getting immediate answers back. also, idk why, but colby looked… extra in trance this time around. literally the only time he didn't was when he sneezed.

overall, i would rate this episode like a soft 4/5. i genuinely enjoyed myself the whole time i watched it. not to mention all the cool new stuff they did. it's too bad that this was the finale and not like the second to last episode where they could go into even more detail about their empathic nature and using newer devices and whatnot. i'm excited to see what they do for season three/uk trilogy. i know the uk has got some crazy places so i can't wait to see what they do there. hopefully it comes out sooner rather than later :)

(side note: ignore any spelling/grammar mistakes i made. i'm tired and have no energy to go back thru and read lol)

[yourfavouritetragedy]

Song and Ashes

kinda don’t like this one -- it’s not very fleshed out and it a bit more. experimental. but I present it to you anyways because it’s probably the last writing thing I’ll do for the week! (I think I’ll sketch something for Pride, and, yes, Ballroom is mostly done at this point! yay!)

cwilbur is Soot, he/they/she pronouns, Western phoenix cquackity is Q or Qua, he/him, fenghuang, AKA “Chinese phoenix”, which I know NOTHING about — all lore comes from search results lol. (I am Chinese btw.)

-

The bird with the most beautiful voice in the whole world is dead. They had been a phoenix, orange and gold, burning until they burnt out. As phoenixes do, he will live again soon. 

But for now he is ash. 

He had been loved in life, if that is any consolation. By others, however; not themself. They could only see the mistakes their siren’s voice had pulled people towards. Stories are lies, inspiring people towards rash and foolish decisions. (Something in his brain had been — perhaps not broken, but wrong. It would not let them be happy.)

As he died, he had hoped the next life would be different. Better. She hoped she could love herself in a future body, future life. 

Sparks floated away on a breeze. 

Within a formless dream, she remembered the other “phoenix”, nothing like herself. They sent up a prayer with the smoke that they would meet again. They were attracted to the fenghaung in a way beyond words, a fire-bright pull in their breast. 

What had been his name?

A baby bird blinks, surrounded by ash. His feathers are brown, glinting orange in the sun. He dusts off his feathers. She stretches. He opens his mouth, and he sings his name: Soot. 

He croons as he rises from the ashes, a beautiful song of survival. It seems as though the world is centered upon this moment, a gorgeous creature of untouchable nature singing a wordless melody. 

There is nobody around to witness the spectacle.

 Q was born so long ago that he cannot remember. Fenghuang do not die, so they are never reborn. They simply live forever. 

He has not changed much since his full plumage came in, but things have happened to him, dividing his life into eras.

For a while, a cruel man had kept him in a cage, flaunting the legend he had captured. This lasted a long time and he cannot remember much that came before it. Q eventually escaped in body, but he was not truly free until the man died. It is his regret that he did not kill him himself. 

(He was not meant to be this violent. He does not understand why he is this way, against his true nature. But the nature of being is to be a contradiction, and maybe the fact of the matter is that myths cannot be what people have dreamed of.) 

After this, he met two other birds, one burning, one bright, and loved them for a while. But they were mortal, and so it was doomed to tragedy: the colorful one lost his memory with age and it tore apart Qua and the firebird. 

There is another burning bird in his life now. He has lost track of him, but he knows they will meet again. The world is only so small and their lives are eternal.

(He is a phoenix. Q was always told to never touch a phoenix, in case they burn you along with them. They are so passionate, it is said, they will hurt you without realizing it.)

Soot was her name. Is her name. He wants to find them.

Q flies across the moon, hoping his colorful feathers will catch the eye of the bird he’s looking for.

Soot performs across the world, scanning every crowd for the rainbow feathers of a fellow immortal. Their voice sings songs of love and life, longing and lust. Everywhere he goes, people fall in love. 

He does not fall in love back. He has never been in love. But she believes that she can be, one day, hopefully soon. 

If only he could find that bird that won’t leave his thoughts. They had danced together many moons ago, from dusk till dawn. 

He asks after fenghuang wherever he goes, but on the rare chance one has been seen, they are always feminine. 

He sings and sings. He is certain that the other bird will remember his voice. It is an unforgettable call. 

It is a long time before Q finds the phoenix again. He hears the voice first, wrapping around the trees of the wood. He flirts down from the stars, following the sound. 

In a clearing, there is a splash of warmth and the source. Soot. They are still beautiful like nothing else to Qua. 

I know you, she says. 

My name is Q, he replies, landing beside them and showing off his feathers. 

It’s you, he simply says, and his eyes light up. 

May I have this dance? And so their courtship begins.

On clear nights, you may be able to see the phoenix lovers, fire-red feathers whirling against those of a peacock on the backdrop of the black night sky. They say the orange one sometimes dies, and the fenghuang always waits. These kinds of creatures live forever, they say, and so they have the power to love forever. Nobody knows if it’s true, but everybody knows that they are trying. Beneath their wings is the petty, unimportant world. Above, there are only stars.

[2seokfan]

Scarlet & Hazel | Ch. 3

pairings: hoseok x reader x yoongi

genre: fluff, very light angst, smut (future)

word count: 6k

chapters: ch.1, ch.2, ch.3. ch.4

summary: 

Just cause you’re living paycheck to paycheck in a tiny apartment even after graduating college doesn’t mean you’re not happy. So what if your best friend is working her dream job making close to six figures every year?  So what if she’s in a loving, committed relationship with her perfect boyfriend that you’re 99% sure is going to propose to her sometime next year? It doesn’t matter that your idea of a perfect relationship is a $9.99 bottle of wine on Friday nights while you binge watch Netflix specials.

Ok so maybe you’re a teensy bit miserable. Maybe you have no idea what you’re doing with your life. Maybe all you need to do is accidentally cross paths with two hybrids who will drastically change that.

Meet “Scarlet” and “Hazel”, two of the most gorgeous hybrid men you have ever laid eyes on. With their help, you learn that life is an adventure, a roller-coaster with ups and downs, and you were too preoccupied with yourself to climb out of your own predicament. And hey, you’re not much of a romantic, but with these two, you just might change your mind.

a/n: Hello, Jun here! Whew this took a while to write but thank you for your patience!! (poor Y/N still doesn’t know their real names but maybe she’ll find out soon?) Any feedback is appreciated <3 

tag list: @wilhelminalucinda​ @ghostkat23​ @ayoo-bangtan​ @sadgurllayha

2 months later.

August is relentless. You’re sweaty all the time and you have no choice but the crank up the a/c every single day. This heat wave is incredibly brutal because all you want to do is stay at home eating ice cream in your underwear but instead you’re stuck working overtime to pay for what you assume will be a record-high electricity bill. Fuck you global warming. 

It’s currently Tuesday. You’re on lunch break at work, chowing down on a falafel wrap and scrolling through your phone, when a text pops up from Karli.

Karli: Don’t forget!

You: ???

Karli: This friday?

You scratch your head. Wtf?

You: What’s on friday?

Karli: Umm the date? Remember?

No you didn’t. Your dumbass actually forgot about a whole date. You can’t believe yourself. Karli finally set you up with that accountant guy from her job. What’s his name again? Brad? Brandon?

You: oh yeah! my bad haha

Karli: You forgot his name didn’t you?

You: …maybe

Karli: Lol it’s Bryce sweetie

Karli: He’s really sweet! Just give it a shot

You: of course i will

You: i’ll turn up my maximum charm

Karli: Dats my girlllll

Karli: Ugh gtg it’s my boss

Karli: Bye!

You: bye babe

You set your phone down, trying to envision this upcoming Friday. Karli mentioned she gave Bryce your phone number, and he’ll text you sometime this week about your date, so at least you don’t have to make any moves first. She did show you his picture though, being the wingman that she is by stalking all his social media just for you. You’ve gotta admit he is cute, the profile picture showed him sporting a casual smile, with blonde hair and blue eyes. The classic boy-next-door look.

“And he’s most likely not a serial killer!” You remember her declaring a few weeks ago, after scrolling through all his tweets. And when you say all his tweets you mean EVERY Single tweet from when he created his account in high school till now. Your best friend does not fuck around. 

“Thanks I appreciate that. Glad he’ll ‘most likely’ not kill me.” You rolled your eyes and grinned at her.

While you munch away the rest of your lunch, you think about how you just aren’t acting like yourself lately. In any other circumstance, you would’ve found yourself more excited for the date. Hell, in any other circumstance you would’ve at LEAst remembered his name, or thought about what to wear by now, or even stalked his social media along with Karli. There’s just a teensy problem though. See, in the past few months you happen to have met two boys who completely changed your standards in men. And you may have maybe developed the tiniest crush on both of them, at the same time. Like how?? You didn’t think you were physically capable of doing that?

You sigh, staring at the rest of your falafel wrap, and force yourself to accept reality. As much as you adore them, you know that your little crush will be completely unreciprocated. This you found out through your group chat, now named ‘Hazel’s Nuts’ (courtesy of Scarlet). It’s not that you confessed to them or anything, they just happened to let slip to you one day that they’re a mated pair. And hybrids mate for life, so they take that shit very seriously. Although this news stung a little, it didn’t cause you to be envious in any way. At the end of the day, crush or not, you’re just glad you have two more people in your life you can confidently call your close friends.

For the past two months you’ve actively kept up with them. Sometimes you’ll send memes back and forth all night, sometimes you’ll group call each other after work. Every once in a while, when they’re not busy doing whatever it is they’re doing, they facetime you. These are your favorite moments because you get to see them in all their attractive glory. Just because they don’t like you that way doesn’t mean a girl can’t deny herself some eye candy. 

You guys never run out of things to talk about. Each day you check the group chat and it’ll be popping. Your topics range from the movie that just came out, restaurants they discovered, to even discussing new criminal cases (you got Hazel into watching true crime Youtube videos and now he’s entirely hooked). Sometimes you just sit back and watch the two boys bicker back and forth. It’s hysterical how they decide to argue through text since you’re sure both of them are probably in the same room together, but you appreciate them keeping you in the loop. 

At this point they’ve already virtually met Karli. She’s been in the background of one or two of your facetimes. You’re glad she approves of them instantly and you wonder if it has a little something to do with their, especially Scarlet’s, boyish charms. She does keep you grounded though, never failing to mention how it’s suspicious that you don’t know their real names yet.

“I don’t think they mean any harm and they seem genuinely nice,” she had reassured, “But you gotta admit not telling you their names is a little sketch.”

You just shrugged. “They have their reasons.”

Internally you do believe she has a point. Even though you don’t want to force information out of the boys, you’re a naturally curious person. Your mind has already compiled a list of all the unusual facts you’ve discovered about them. 

A couple of things have become clear to you over the span of the last few months. The most important fact is that although they share tons of content with you, you still have no idea what they do for a living. You’re also 90% sure they don’t have an owner since there’s never anyone else around them. Another, more interesting fact is that you suspect they’re actually pretty wealthy. Every time you facetime, they’re in some sort of lavish looking hotel penthouse, with fancy furniture and artwork hanging in the background. They also dress designer, occasionally flashing their Balenciaga hats, or little Gucci necklaces, or other fancy logos your peasant-ass is unfamiliar with. You actually googled one of Hazel’s t-shirts from your most recent facetime, having no idea what the FG logo stood for. You remember your eyes bulging out of your head after discovering his plain white shirt with two black letters cost more than $200. TWO HUNDred dollars?!!! Do you know how much food and gas you could buy with $200? Why in the fuck would he spend that much on a shirt??

If only you knew how much their watches cost.

Friday rolls around faster than you can blink and before you know it, you’re rushing home from work to get ready. Bryce texted you for the first time on Wednesday to see if you wanted sushi (hell yeah you did) and you were fortunate enough to notify your boss so you could be let out early. You’ve been such a work horse the last few months that they had no choice but to let you leave in advance. 

So far Bryce seems nice enough but you can’t get a proper gauge of his character through text. Oh well, guess you’ll find out tonight.

The sushi place you’re meeting at is on the fancier side, and includes a bar. Knowing yourself, if there’s a bar, there’s no car, which means you won’t be driving. The last thing you want is to leave your car parked somewhere sketchy overnight cause you accidentally got too tipsy to drive. You like to think you have some semblance of control but it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

You were let out at 4, which means you have only 2 hours to get ready. As soon as you get home you sprint to your closet at lightning speed. You rummage through your drawers, hoping to find something, ANYthing, that’s appropriate for this occasion. For one quick second, your eyes dart to your forbidden drawer, aka the ho drawer. It contains the remains of your slutty party dresses and tops from college. Being the hoarder that you are, you never like throwing away things, even if you have no need for them anymore. Wait, what the hell am I thinking? You snap your eyes back to the rest of your closet. You’re going for sushi, not to dance at some club. Besides, you have no intention of sleeping with anyone tonight.

After an hour of deciding on a suitable outfit you finally start on your makeup. Your work makeup has dried up, and now feels gross and cakey on your face, so you remove it all and start anew. At least you had the decency to shower this morning so your hair isn’t too gross.

The place is around a 10 minute Uber ride away but you took your sweet ass time getting ready so now you’re in a frenzy. When your phone buzzes, signaling your driver is here, you swipe on some lipstick last minute, grab some chunky heels, and practically fly out the door. 

You stare out the window of your ride, wondering why you’re lowkey wishing you could spend Friday night at home watching tv instead, or even just spending the evening facetiming two hot hybrids. This all feels a little too rushed. But no, you shake your head and attempt to hype yourself up. C’mon Y/N this is the first real date you’ve been on in ages. At least TRy and be a little more motivated. 

The car pulls up and you thank the driver, stepping out into the warm night air. August is still hot, even in the evenings, and you’re glad you didn’t bring a cardigan. Bryce has already texted you, letting you know he was inside, sitting at your reserved spot. You take a deep breath. Ok, time to put on your game face. You strut in, trying your very best to push the faces of two very good-looking friends out of your mind.

You spot Bryce in a corner, head buried in his phone, his wavy blonde hair not easy to miss. You slide in the seat across from him, prompting him to quickly look up and flash you an easygoing smile.

“Hello there!”

“Hi!” You chuckle nervously. “I hope I’m not too late.”

“Not all all!” He slides his phone back in his pocket, smile still on his face. “You’re just in time.”

A waiter comes by and you both take your orders. You make sure to order a drink because you have a feeling you’ll need the liquid courage to strike up more conversation. Maybe some sake will help ease you.

The first couple minutes are kinda awkward, not gonna lie. Bryce tries to get you to talk about work and you do answer him, but honestly work is the last thing you want to discuss right now. You try to shift the conversation to his job, but that only ends up being worse as he quickly launches into the ins and outs of life as an accountant. Maybe your two hybrids friends have spoiled you because you barely remember the last time you had to fill empty space with small talk.

When the food comes you quietly sigh a breath of relief, hoping the sushi in front of you will help you both get settled and give you time to think of more interesting topics to talk about.

“So,” you wrack your brain, “let’s get to know each other more! Like, what’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” That’s got to be a safe enough question.

“Hm, I’m actually more of a yogurt kinda guy, ice cream’s not really my thing.”

You freeze, California roll halfway to your mouth. Ok, ok, cool, cool. So he doesn’t like ice cream, that’s fine. You sweat a little. Hurry Y/N think of something else to ask.

“Yeah, I guess that’s not everybody’s thing.” You grimace. “Then what about, i don’t know, cookies? What’s your favorite kinda cookie?”

“Actually I prefer crackers, you know, like the saltine ones? Cookies can be too sweet sometimes.” He’s devouring his dragon roll, not noticing the panic in your eyes. He’s caught you off guard twice today.

This isn’t going well and you’re genuinely surprised because you know Karli has done her research, certain that you two would get along. Guess life really likes to throw you some curveballs. 

Who the fuck prefers crackers over cookies anyway?? Ok. Code red! Change the fucking subject before the silence becomes unbearable. Your dessert-related ice breakers had never failed you before but there’s always a first for everything, you guess.

You take a generous swig of sake. “Right, crackers are... good.” You’re mumbling at this point. “Ok, um, what about hobbies? Got any?” Please throw me a fucking bone here! Your mind is reeling but externally you try to act calm and composed, dabbing at the corner or you mouth delicately with a napkin.

“Oh yeah!” His face lights up. Oh thank god. “Do you like football? Me and my buddies at the office sorta formed this team, and we play against other departments. It’s really fun! You should come by and watch sometime!”

“Uh, sure!” Football. Huh. The last time you were anywhere near a football was when you met someone from your college team at a bar. Well he wasn’t holding a football per se, but that counts right? You only remember how much of a douche he was, trying to hit on one of the girls from your group after getting entirely too wasted.

“Awesome! I’ll hit you up when the next game is set!” It’s almost impressive how he doesn’t notice all the tension emitting from your body. In fact, you have a feeling he’s actually enjoying himself and your company.

The rest of the dinner goes by in the same manner. With him happily answering all your questions and you slowly discovering just how little you both have in common.

He is a gentleman though, that you can’t deny. When all the food has been cleared away he immediately swoops in to pay the bill, ignoring your insistence at paying for your half at least. He really isn’t a bad person, just the opposite. Besides your difference in interests, he is a sweet guy overall, and you do find him to be physically attractive. There’s just no spark, no silver lining that keeps you wanting more. When you both get out of your seats he offers to drive you back to your place but you politely decline. You say it’s because you don’t want to trouble him but in reality you need space for yourself to think.

As soon as you arrive home you take off your shoes and plop yourself down on the couch, running your hands through your hair. You check your phone, a few notifications from ‘Hazel’s Nuts’ popping up.

Scarlet: Do you think she’s done with her date yet??

Hazel: Hey Y/N how was it?

You had told them about this date beforehand and they were excited to root for you, which did bruise your ego a bit since it reaffirmed your unreturned attraction to them, but also prompted you to go through with it. This last notification was from 45 minutes ago but you couldn’t reply since you were still at dinner.

You: hi I just got back!

You don’t expect them to respond right away but to your surprise:

Scarlet: And???

You: it was meh

Hazel: That bad huh?

You: no nothing like that!

You: he’s really cute and all, it’s just we basically have nothing in common

Scarlet: Aww poor Y/N (sad emojis)

Hazel: Hey happens to the best of us

Hazel: Actually I wouldn’t know cause I’ve only been with fox boy

You: thanks anyway, i appreciate it Hazel

Maybe it’s cause you’re a little tipsy, or maybe you just feel so open and vulnerable around them tonight, but the next text you send is especially honest.

You: ughhh idk guys i’m just so lonely!!! why can’t things just work out for me for once! Like the first real date I go on in years and this happens :(

They don’t respond for a long time. So long in fact you start to get worried that you exposed too much about yourself.

15 minutes pass by but to you it feels like hours. You’ve already removed all your makeup and changed into your pajama shirt. You relocate to your bed, checking your phone again, thinking of a way to play off your last text as a joke when:

Hazel: If you’re so lonely maybe you could adopt?

You grin to yourself, glad that they’re not being judgmental. Their concern for you resets your mood.

You: ha ha you know my apartment doesn’t allow pets

You: but honestly if i could i would, cause i’d definitely get a little kitty

Hazel: I’m flattered

You: thanks but i meant a real cat

Hazel: Either way i’m flattered

Scarlet: HEY what about foxes??

You: pretty sure owning a pet fox is illegal here Scar

Scarlet: (angry emojis)

Hazel: You heard what the lady said

You: anyways i’m going to bed

You: thanks for making me feel better guys <3

Hazel: Anytime

Scarlet: But hypothetically if foxes weren’t illegal you’d get a pet fox right??

You: of course i would sweetie

Scarlet: (happy emojis)

Scarlet: Yay!!! Goodnight Y/N!

Hazel: Night Y/N

You: night boys

You wake up next morning on your own time, checking your phone to see that you slept in till 11am. Wow, you haven’t slept that well in a while. Maybe it’s the stress from the previous weeks of non stop working, or the pressure to maintain your composure last night, but either way you knocked out like a rock. You sit up, lean back, and stretch your arms as far as they can go.

Today you’re meeting Karli at her place up north. She couldn’t ask you about last night since she was occupied, her seven year anniversary with her boyfriend Sunny coinciding with your date. But she assured you a couple days ago over facetime that today was going to be a girl’s day, no boyfriend included.

“Hey!” Sunny had popped out of nowhere in the video when he heard the news, a look of mock shock on his face. “I live here too! So what, you're just gonna kick me out of the house and leave me on the streets to starve?”

“My god stop being dramatic!” Karli had shoved him playfully off the screen. “I need girl time with Y/N and it’s not girl time if you’re in the house.”

“I can be one of the girls! Right Y/N?” He sounded betrayed.

“I know you can but I’m not the one who makes the rules.” You pointed out.

He sighed. “You got me there.”

Since you’re just spending time at Karli’s and getting takeout, you felt zero need to dress up. You washed your face, threw on an oversized t-shirt some old hookup left at your place (hey it was cute) and some tights, and tied your hair out of your face. This entire process took less than 30 minutes and next thing you know you’re ready to head out.

You sent Karli a quick text, letting her know you’re on the way. You grab a bottle of prosecco, your purse, and keys, saying a quick goodbye to your roommate Ayah on your way out. She gives you a small wave, reminding you that she, yet again, has to leave today for a whole week. You backtrack to give her a quick goodbye hug, telling her to drive safe, before you take off.

Karli’s place isn’t as far as the beach coffeehouse you frequent, but it’s still located in the wealthier side of town. The drive lasts a good 20 minutes but it feels a lot faster since you spend the whole time singing along to your favorite songs.

You pull up to Karli’s apartment complex, driving yourself to the guest parking space. Her apartment building is pretty tall, with a distant, but gorgeous view of the beach. 

Karli squeals when she opens the door, immediately giving you a big hug. When you break apart you hold up the bottle of prosecco in your hand, waving it in front of her face.

“I know you have the ingredients here so let’s make some spritz!”

“Yay!”

Aperol spritz is your favorite at-home drink to make with Karli. She had gone on a short trip to Italy in the summer between her two years at grad school and tried the drink there, completely falling in love. She googled the recipe, made it for you one day, you had said “Oh FUck that’s good!”, and the rest is history.

She grabs the bottle and quickly relocates it to her kitchen. Her energy levels are sky high today and you wonder what’s got her so elated. She’s skipping everywhere she goes, there’s a permanent smile etched on her face, and she’s humming non stop as she pulls you away from the front entrance.

Sunny emerges from the hallway, two hands in the air in surrender.

“I’m heading out, I swear!”

Sunny is a big teddy bear of a man, with tattoos splayed across his arms and a well-kept beard. There’s a term you learned online called ‘lumbersexual’ and that’s exactly the word to describe Sunny. He almost reminds you of Jason Momoa, the actor who played Aquaman. Those who just meet him think he looks intimidating at first but once you get past his height and size, you see just how much of a softie he is. He’s also extremely intelligent, working somewhere in the computer industry developing software.

Karli bounds over to him and gives him a big snuggly hug and tiptoes all the way up to give a quick kiss to his lips.

“Have fun babe! Love you!”

“Love you too! Also bye Y/N!”

“Bye Sunny have fun!” You smile as he treads out the door.

You both head to the kitchen and start making your drinks.

“Aren’t you extra chipper today!” You mention as you pour a splash of club soda into your glass.

“Am I?” She doesn’t look at you, wearing a mysterious grin, stirring her mixture with a straw.

After you both finish making your drinks, you head to her living room and settle onto her plush sofa.

Karli yawns, almost too dramatically, covering her left hand over her mouth. You quirk your eyebrow at her, wondering why she’s acting so weird until you spot it. There’s something large, something shiny, on her left ring finger.

“Oh my god….” Your entire mouth hangs open. “Oh my GOD!!! Is THAT…?”

“Yep!”

“Did HE -?”

“Yep!!”

“AND YOU - ?

“YEP I DID!!”

“YOU’RE ENGAGED?!?!?!”

“I KNOW!!!!”

What happens after is a shriek rivaling that of a pterodactyl taking flight after spotting prey, except the sound is just the two of you screaming and jumping up and down in Karli’s living room.

You bring her into a tight hug, so emotional that you’re about to tear up. And you’re not one to cry that easily.

“I’m so happy for you!” You pull apart and wipe a stray tear from your cheek.

“Thank you! I’m so happy too!” Her smile is also a little watery. “Like I knew he was gonna do it soon since we’ve been together so long but I’m still shocked you know?”

“I know!” 

“And I’m sorry. Today was supposed to be me asking about your date last night.” She dabs at her eyes. “Bryce really likes you too. He even texted me thanking me for introducing you!!”

“Oh shit...” You take this chance to drink your Aperol spritz. “I’m gonna be completely honest with you. It’s true he’s cute but there was no spark.” You give her an apologetic grin, knowing she really wanted this to work out for you. “Like don’t get me wrong he’s super nice and stuff but I just couldn’t find anything we have in common. I can’t believe he’s still into me?!” 

“Aw I’m sorry babe.” She pouts. “I really did think you would be a good match.”

“It’s ok. Anyways,” you wave her off, bringing up the more important subject at hand. “I’d much rather talk about your engagement! Like, hello?? You’re getting married, girl!!

Another squeal. You really hope her neighbors don’t complain.

“I know!! I literally don’t know what to think!” She smiles wistfully, like she’s on cloud nine, then brings her attention back to you. “Also you’re the maid of honor and you can’t back out of that.”

“I would never!” You gasp dramatically, one hand clutching your chest.

“But don’t worry!” She sets her drink down. “The wedding’s not happening till next year at least. We don’t have to start planning till way later.”

The rest of the day you spend chatting to Karli, prompting her to spill every single detail about the proposal. Even though you have no need to help her plan a wedding just yet, you can’t hold back from offering some ideas that spring to mind.

“I got it!!” You shout.

“You got what?”

“Hear me out,” you may or may not be a little tipsy at this point. “Goth wedding!” You say with jazz hands. Then you reach down to take another sip of your drink.

“Hmm…” She pretends to think about the idea, then giggles. “And that’s enough prosecco for you.” Plucking the glass out of your hand, she transfers it to her kitchen sink.

A couple more hours roll by. You both decide to watch a cheesy Netflix horror movie to sober up, paired with the Mexican takeout you ordered. By the time the credits roll, the sun has long since set, along with your alcohol buzz. You check the time on your phone, deciding it’s best to head home since poor Sunny has been respectfully out and about all day, giving you your girl time.

You give Karli one last big hug, murmuring into her hair how happy you are for her situation. She walks you to the apartment elevator, where you proceed to blow her a swift kiss right before the doors close in your face.

Reality sets in the moment you’re alone. Your head swims with thoughts as you drive back. Most of them are happy about your best friend’s engagement but you can’t discount the little ugly bubble of jealousy that wells down deep in your gut, reminding you of your own current situation. It’s not until you reach home that you realize you didn’t even play music in the car.

Ayah has long since gone on her business trip by the time you arrive at your apartment. The whole place looks dark and unwelcome, only highlighting the emptiness you feel inside. You trudge to your room and slump onto your bed. You try to scroll through social media as a way to distract yourself but you’re met, instead, by all the pictures and posts of happy people, showing off their achievements or bragging about their seemingly perfect lives.

You immediately lock your phone and throw it onto the blanket, the stress and anxiety from the last few months building to a boiling point in your mind. Your biggest concern is you still haven’t figured out your lease situation, and you only have two more months to move out or find someone new. Ayah has tried her best to help you but she’s bombarded by business trips so no luck so far. You let out a small groan and bury your head in the pillow, deciding to sleep it off and worry about your problems tomorrow, even though it’s not even that late.

Right as you’re about to drift off into dreamland, your phone rings. You fumble around the covers until it’s in your hands and check that you have a facetime call from your two favorite boys.

Immediately your body jerks awake and you sit up, swiping the answer button.

“Hey guys!”

“Hi Y/N!!” Scarlet’s heart-shaped smile is taking up most of the screen but you can see a sliver of white and grey hair behind him.

Hazel elbows him out of the way. “Sorry were you sleeping?” He tilts his head, ears twitching. “Wait, it’s only 10 pm where you’re at. You never sleep this early.”

“No I wasn’t... I mean, yeah I was trying to sleep but…”

You sigh. It’s their faces. Just seeing them through a screen, their wide, innocent eyes blinking up at you, makes you want to spill everything.

You nibble on your bottom lip for a moment. “I was just kinda having an existential crisis so I decided to sleep it off. No biggie.”

Scarlet’s eyebrows furrow in concern. After only two months, he can already tell when something is off with your tone of voice.

“Y/N what’s wrong?” He looks up for a bit, pausing to think. “Was it the date last night?”

“The date?” Oh yeah the date. Yet another thing that didn’t go well. You totally forgot about that can of worms. “Not really… or actually kinda?”

You try to reorganize your jumbled mess of a brain and put your thoughts into words.

“So you know how I said I was going to Karli’s today?”

“Mhm,” they nod at you to continue.

“Well turns out she got engaged last night.”

“That’s awesome! I’m so happy for her!” Scarlet bounces a little, then quickly returns to a more serious tone. “But that doesn’t really answer my question.”

“Yeah I’m happy for her too.” And you genuinely are.

You pause for another moment, teetering on the edge of playing your emotions off like it’s no big deal or exposing all of your concerns yet again. Your need for an outlet to vent to wins in the end. For the first time you find yourself unable to confide in Karli because you want her to be happy and focus on the engagement rather than to be preoccupied with you. Before you know it, the words flow from your mouth like running water.

“It’s just that her announcement really brought me back to earth, and I started thinking a little too much about my own life.” You purse your lips. “I don’t know… I feel pretty selfish right now because she’s doing so well and I just can’t help comparing my life to hers. I’m so proud of her but it’s like everything in her life is coming together and I just want that for me also.” You throw your hands up in frustration, almost knocking the phone off from where it leans on your pillow. “I mean we’re the same age for god's sake! Why can’t I get my shit together??”

“Well you should be proud of yourself though,” Hazel cuts in. “Cause we are.” He gestures to Scarlet and himself.

“Yeah!” Scarlet chimes. “I mean you’ve got a full time job and a place to stay. I know you don’t feel like it’s the most ideal situation right now but please don’t discredit yourself.”

“Thanks guys.” You calm down a bit, but then you remember the whole issue with your apartment. Scratching the back of your neck, a habit you’ve picked up whenever you’re nervous, you say in a much smaller voice, “although my ‘place to stay’ might not last much longer.”

“What do you mean?” Both boys’ eyebrows are raised in confusion.

You realize you never mentioned your living situation to them, the topic always pushed to the back of your mind whenever they initiated conversation.

“Yeah.” A dry chuckle leaves your lips. “My lease ends soon and Ayah wants to move to a place of her own. And I have two months to figure out where to live or find another roommate.” You let out a frustrated huff. “She’s been so helpful but still no luck I guess.” You shrug in defeat.

You feel like a balloon that’s lost all its air, brain exhausted from running through all the problems in your life.

“Actually that’s pretty convenient for- ” Scarlet starts, but is elbowed again in the ribs by Hazel. “Ow!”

“Not yet!” The cat hisses quietly to him.

“Huh?” Now you’re confused. What in the world are they talking about?

Hazel turns back to you. “I’m really sorry about everything Y/N. If there’s anything we can do to help please let us know.” 

“Thanks buddy.” You offer him a small smile, choosing to ignore what just happened since they clearly don’t want to reveal anything just yet. 

Hazel then shifts to a more nervous stance, ears slightly flattening and both hands grabbing his floofy grey tail for comfort. It’s the cutest goddamn thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

“So Y/N, um, there’s a reason we called you tonight.”

You’re glad for a change in subject, a much needed distraction away from your downward spiraling thoughts.

“Oh right! Yeah. What’s up guys?”

Scarlet steps in front of him again, blocking most of the screen.

“We have a surprise for you!” He’s so close to the camera that you can only see half of his unblemished face but from the way his eyes crinkle, you can tell he’s giddy with anticipation.

“A surprise- ?”

“Yeah!!”

Hazel nudges himself into view again. “Quit hogging the whole screen fox! I swear to god next time we’re using the tv. I can’t see anything! Anyways,” he turns to you and smooths his shirt, expression back to stoic, “are you free next weekend?”

“I should be. Why?” You’re still a little lost on what the surprise is.

“Cause we’re coming back to town!” Scarlet blurts out.

“You are?!” Suddenly all your negativity melts away, replaced by excitement. Hard to believe just five simple words can shift your mood a complete 180°.

“But wait, there’s more!” You snort at how much Scarlet sounded like an infomercial just now.

“We’d like to invite you to dinner next Saturday night. If that’s ok with you?” Hazel isn’t as physically expressive as Scarlet but the hopeful shine in his eyes gives himself away.

You melt at his expression, heart rate speeding up. “Of course that’s ok! I’d love to!”

“Great!” He flashes one of his rare gummy smiles. “Saturday night. 7 pm. We’ll text you the details.”

“Yep!” Scarlet pipes in. “There’s something important we gotta ask- !” He lets out a small gasp, tail bristling, and clamps a hand over his mouth as if he just said something he shouldn’t have.

“What’s important?” You’ve gotta admit, your curiosity is at its peak right now, and it doesn’t help that they’re acting a little weird today.

Hazel rubs his temples in exasperation, groaning at Scarlet. “What part of ‘not yet’ did you not understand?” He then addresses you. “Sorry Y/N I promise we’ll tell you when we see you in person.” 

“Ok.” Cool. That’s fine. You’re a little nervous about what they have to say and it’ll be torture to wait but you’re a big girl and you can handle not knowing for a week. “I can’t wait to see you guys!!” you added.

“Me too!” Scarlet’s personality is so bubbly and contagious that you can’t help but smile back at him.

“Same.” Hazel lets out a small yawn. “Well we’re in a different time zone than you and it’s really late here so I gotta hit the hay.”

“Mk, go get your beauty sleep.” You give them a little wave. “And thanks for everything. I mean it.”

“No problem Y/N.” Scarlet also gives off a yawn, stretching his tired limbs. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

After ending the facetime call, you lie on your back, staring at the ceiling. Your mind is active once again, but this time it’s not clouded with self-deprecating thoughts. Instead, you spend the remainder of the evening theorizing about the ‘important’ things the boys have to tell you. Maybe you’ll finally find out their real names. Or maybe they’ll reveal something else about themselves, like why they’re constantly travelling, or what they actually do for a living. Either way you can’t wait for next Saturday to come around.

Previous | Next

[mcrmadness]

Madness draws: my dä fanart from when I had my (arts) comeback in 2018

For years I didn’t draw anything because of a personal (art crisis) and because I simply was studying and working so much I just had no energy left for arts.

In 2018 I was done with schools and studying and dropped out of the school I was in at that moment, and also the horse stable I was working at (school related stuff) was sold and closed its doors so also my work ended. For the first time in almost 5 years I was actually free. The longest holidays I had has was 3 weeks summer holiday in 2016, I think. I had another in 2017 but of that I actually was having health issues (nothing serious) for 2 weeks and then had to be in school for the 3rd one, after which I even got the flu.

So I was SO excited when I finally was free the first day of November in 2018. After I had got enough sleep and rest, I started to find my creativity again. And I started to “daydream” before falling asleep every night, I started to write fanfictions in my head and I started to draw, too. Partially it was also because for the first time in years I had an online friend I enjoyed talking with and we had similar interests, aka dä and Bela/Farin, and that inspired me a lot to draw even more - but unfortunately that friendship did not work out in the end and we’re no longer friends.

Anyway, most of these drawings are very much Bela/Farin related again because I talked about that a lot with this person and I often asked what they’d want to see and then drew it if the idea was something I could carry out.

This is not the first one I drew but maybe the 4th or so. I’m just putting this here first because it’s the most “innocent” aka not too much shippy stuff rubbed into the faces of my followers who don’t care about that. There’s 5 different drawings + 1 comic behind the read more link. All of these, apart from the comic, where drawn into my old sketchbook.

About the drawing above - I didn’t use pencil for these first ones at all yet, I just drew them with the fineliners as I was still a bit rusty as the last time I REALLY drew anything was in 2013 aka over 5 years ago from 2018, so I had to actually look at my old comics and drawings to even figure out how to draw these characters anymore. And I think the last actual time I drew in this style was in 2011 even. And that is very visible from the first 2018′s drawing I did! ↓↓↓

This is the one - and wait, I have an explanation!

So with this person I mentioned, we just constantly had this playful debate over whether Bela is “bottom” or not - and honestly I couldn’t care less about that because I no longer read any fanfics. I do write fanfics - or a fanfic - but only for myself and as an asexual I have never been interested in writing about certain themes so I never need to think about the whole top/bottom stuff anyway. I used to read smut before until I one day just realized it’s SO BORING and uninteresting to read, started skipping all smut scenes and wanted to read fluff but all the fluff was so quickly and badly written because everyone wanted to write smut only, that I was left with absolutely nothing to read. So it was the old story again: I started writing/drawing the stuff I wanted to read and see.

However, back to the top/bottom topic, I always base my opinions with everything over how things are in real life and with these guys, if you look at how they are in interviews and on stage, the dynamics are not just plain black&white. I’ve never seen there anything that would indicate that just one is “top” or “bottom” whatsoever which is why I kept saying imo they’re more like just switching if you listen to their jokes. Remember: I don’t read any fanfiction and don’t give a fuck about smut (lol at the pun) and honestly, even tho I understand those jokes they do and say on stage, I wish not to have any visuals about any of that “activity” in my head.

So, to support my “they switch!” opinion, I drew this, just for fun. And it is the official first drawing I did in 2018. I just needed to fire back bigger than I could do with simple text messages :D

***

Moving on. The person in question was very fascinated by the idea that Farin would be a vampire and not Bela (to support their top/bottom views...) which is why I drew this:

Also a very quick one, without sketching anything before drawing with fineliners. This and the first image of this post both are very small in real life actually, the signature is about the same size in every drawing so you can see from that that they are actually pretty small.

Talking of the signature: The funniest thing to me about this IS the signature. Because I was so rusty I didn’t even know how to write it anymore :DDD You can compare it to the signature in the other drawings because in them it’s better. Why it’s so funny to me is because it should say “Aada” but it looks more like “Hella” which means “stove” in Finnish.

***

Next one was something I saw in my head and wanted to draw - I think this one was also done without sketching it at first:

Kinda simple, right? :D I just wanted to draw something with heavy shadows and they’re meant to be watching TV at night. I guess it came out pretty okay.

***

The next two I drew based on one of my old fanfics I wrote years and years ago. I’m a bit annoyed that I decied to draw these into my SKETCHBOOK when I could have used just paper I use for drawing but I guess I didn’t know yet where I was going to end up with these and drew them into the sketchbook because of that. I thought I didn’t sketch these at first but I have found photos of these with sketched with pencil so that means I started sketching my drawings at this point.

So, back to the fanfic, it’s one of the longer ones I wrote (but still not that long even) and set to happen in the late 80s. There was some drama in the story because of Bela’s drug use and Farin was very harsh and Bela left altogether. For some time they had no idea where each of them were but then one very rainy night they both were on a walk at the same time and happened to stumble upon each other for the first time in weeks or so. I can still see those scenes so vividly in my head and here’s my artistic view over those scenes:

Yes. I love drawing stuff like BRICKS.

I have used my Promarkers with the second image, the paper was not the best for them which is why the black looks awful.

What comes to the image... it really annoys me to look at that because how the FUCK that is something I have drawn? And it’s legit based on something I have written. ME??? Like wtf. My aroace ass just can’t handle me writing/drawing fluff like this. I have days when I need to see fluff more than anything and then have to produce the content because can’t find it from anywhere else and my brain is simultaneously like “flufffff 8))))” and “boohoo whyyyyy how staaaaaph D:” because I am so afraid of being connected to what I draw. Like. If I draw or write fluff, it doesn’t mean I would be a romantic person nor allosexual nor alloromantic, right? Because I can also draw a comic or write a story about a murderer and it doesn’t make me a psychopath either. It’s the exact same thing.

And in fact: I had a comic book character who was called Micro the Insane Murderer because that’s what he was. Also I once wrote a story about a serial killer but she was also insane. But for whatever reason it’s much harder to show people fluff I have written or drawn than my fictional serial killer stuff... I guess people just easier assume that you’re an allo, thanks to anormativity, but usually don’t think you’re a psychopath just because your OC is :D

***

The last one is the comic that has a Halloween theme as it was around Halloween and the person I talked with still wanted to see/read something where Farin is the vampire instead. So here’s something that was my first B/F comic in 7 years. I didn’t remember how to do pretty much anything anymore and the coloring is a bit off, and I was really still just trying to figure out how to do all this again :D

At that point I think my head was still filled with fanfiction stuff so the comic also is full of (hurt/comfort) drama - and a long-ass “backstory”. You can see that from this on I have moved to more humorous stories. Sometimes I draw occassional fluffy comics when I’m really on that weird mood (usually 1-2 days/month thanks to the uterus and hormones), but my main focus is on the humour and I wish to make people laugh.

But that’s about it. I think I have now posted everything here, the newer ones I have posted here after drawing them since 2019 but this post is the “missing link” between those old old comics and the newer stuff :D Then I of course have all the other traditional art like potraits and such I did in 2009-2012 which I have never shown here. Maybe I should post those too?

[sunriseindigo]

you can answer this in multiple parts or one post but! 002 - otohiko, tsuhara, and makitai?

OH BOY HERE WE GO—

otohiko

When I started shipping them:

not that long ago actually?? i used to be really really obsessed with yamahiko (still am lol) but i think a month ago is when i started to ship them!!

My thoughts:

omg look at these gays omg look at them go!!! i love both of them very much and the dynamic these too have is just,,, so wonderful!!! the fact that this ship isn’t really that popular just. astonishes me

What makes me happy about them:

the height difference. haruhiko has picked up teruya in the past and run off with the him blushing furiously. in a non-despair au where the two grow up teruya finally gets tall enough to do that to haruhiko. think about it.

What makes me sad about them:

that one moment in sdra2 where teruya started crying when he saw the statues of haruhiko and satsuki,,,, just,,,, waaaaaaaaaaa

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

the fact that there’s no fanfics about this ship

Things I look for in fanfic:

them. plz someone make a fanfic for them plz i beg u--

My wishlist:

again, just content for them!! this ship is underrated and desperately deserves content and if i have to be the one to supply it then so be it,,,,

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

with haruhiko it’d be yamato cuz i think they’re also really cute together and have the same hyper vibes as this one!!! as for teruya i think he and kinji can be pretty cute,,, 👉👈

My happily ever after for them:

turns out that everyone is okay and the killing game doesn’t happen!!! haruhiko proposes to teruya after a 3 year relationship and are now happily married with a son and like,, 3 birds

tsuhara

When I started shipping them:

hmmm probably when i first joined the dra fandom!! i saw these two and my mind went “hey they should kiss” and now we’re here!!

My thoughts:

aka tsurugi starts crying after kinji hugs him because he’s touch starved and hasn’t received physical affection in years. both of them deserve to feel happy and i just want tsurugi to get therapy with the help of kinji!!

What makes me happy about them:

a few people ship this actually??? and they’ve made content about it??? and that’s so poggers??????

What makes me sad about them:

the fact that a few popular people who make content for this ship are people that i have bad memories associated with them and that these people have actually impacted my mental health in a very negative way....

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

i remember reading a fic of them once??? i forgot the name but it was really sad and angsty and i almost cried

Things I look for in fanfic:

i!! want fluff of them!!!! plz i just want them to be happy.....

My wishlist:

an epic little comic around these two,,, it doesn’t have to be made by linuj i just want a comic of these two...

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

umm well yamarugi and otohara (that’s what i’m calling it lol) are cool!!! i’m not that against people who don’t ship this so yeah

My happily ever after for them:

kinji lives and encourages tsurugi to get therapy and just supports him in general!!

makitai

When I started shipping them:

again not too long ago actually!! i used to ship makitomo pretty heavily but then uh. something happened. and around a month ago i saw these two and started shipping them

My thoughts:

plzzzz let them kiss,,, i swear these two have been on my mind for almost two weeks and i’m just this () close to writing a full short fic story of these two!!!

What makes me happy about them:

well all of the content that i’ve seen about this ship is relatively positive!! i’ve seen a bit of angst for them but overall it’s just fluff and cute domestic scenes and just aughggggg.... my heart <3

What makes me sad about them:

they fact that they’re dead. wtf

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

like i’ve said with otohiko, the fact that there isn’t a lot of content/fics about them in general. cmon guys!!!

Things I look for in fanfic:

just them. them. akane taira and kiyoka maki kissing.

My wishlist:

idk,,, a popular artist to make content about them!!! (no i’m not popular i only have 18 followers lol)

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

rei and akane are pretty pog with each other!! cute girls... kuromaki (kiyoka/mikako) also is pretty cute!!!

My happily ever after for them:

they kiss and own a bakery together once they marry!!!!

setsuruko

When I started shipping them:

i’d say,, around january?? that’s around a month after i joined sdra2. i wasn’t that crazy about them then but after seeing some. questionable content about soruko i decided to ship this and yeah!!

My thoughts:

comfort ship go brrrrr!!!! these two are so fucking cute holy shit i love them!!! their dynamic is spectacular and u guys seriously need to get on board with this because GOD I LOVE THEM!!!!

What makes me happy about them:

just thinking about these two makes me feel happy,,,, i just want good things for them.....

What makes me sad about them:

the fact that setsuka’s dead,,,,,,

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

there’s like. only two people that make content for setsuruko. i just... that’s sad.....

Things I look for in fanfic:

them!!!! i want to read fics about them cuddling or setsuka making yoruko flustered.... i just want them happy and with content u see with setsubiki and soruko!!!

My wishlist:

again, popular artist makes them kiss. that is all i crave from dis cruel world....

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

yorubiki is cool as hell!! also as underrated as setsuruko and i want to see these two ships flourish...

My happily ever after for them:

everyone lives and setsuka and yoruko confess their love for each other!!! they live together and constantly flirt all the time

reikako

When I started shipping them:

again when i got into the fandom!!! there was a fair amount of content for them when i joined and for a moment i thought they were like actually dating in canon lol (linuj is homophobic of course he doesn’t say that /j)

My thoughts:

mikako gently kisses her professor gf on the cheek,,, these two are so precious for each other and i love it when people make content about them even if it’s plationic!!! again mikako encourages rei to get therapy cuz she also desperately needs like jesus,,,

What makes me happy about them:

i’ve seen a couple of sketches linuj drew of them and every time i see i freakout and think about it for two weeks!!! they also have a great dynamic and just seeing the people making content of this ship and it’s not nasty is great!!! keep it up u guys!!

What makes me sad about them:

m. mikako. she. is dead. (also some people that make reikako content have given me panic attacks so oops!!!)

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

again there’s like no fics of these guys. what the hell!!!!

Things I look for in fanfic:

for it to be written and for it to not be just angst

My wishlist:

i just want people to make content of my ships plz

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

welll reikane and satsurei are very good underrated ships!!! kuromaki and inokawa (mikako/kanata) are also pogchamp

My happily ever after for them:

again the killing game didn’t happen and rei and mikako are living their best lives together!!

[riisinaakka-draws]

No one asked, but I made a little recap of the “Safe again” gif & drawing, if you are interested. I hope it adds some light to the process without destroying the magic, lol.

Before going futher, I must admit that I cannot remember all the details and there were a lot of trials and errors. I made the first sketch at the end of April, continued it a bit in May and left it alone for weeks until finally finishing it in June. Also, the psd file with all the layers is such a mess that it would not help you, so no screen caps about that.

So, this is not a tutorial but more like a recap or the backstory of the thought process and the finished drawing.

Preparations: - watch the best show in the world (Black Sails) - reach episodes 4.01 & 4.02 and weep at the beauty - let the season finale destroy you (and lift you up)

Ingredients:

- an idea, textures, references, time, drawing software, pen tablet

Steps:

Initial idea. Silver surrounded by the light and warmth of his two important people, him radiating golden light and illuminating the others’ features (the other two are relieved after getting him back safe and sound)

- or all three of them as gods, stories, legends, constellations etc.?

- or just Silver's sad dream years later when he is gazing at the stars, figures on the night sky etc...?

- sketch a doodle in a hurry, think about the stars and how to add them quickly to try the initial idea

-> remember the picture serie of noodle soup you took a while ago. Remember how cool "the whirling galaxy" aka “oily broth before adding noodles” looked like in the kettle (I have used or considered using other food textures before, e.g. blueberry-pie, the remains of burned macaroni casserole, foam, tea). Keep your eyes open and collect your own cool textures :D Or use free textures etc.

- edit in photoshop to bring out dots, shapes, whatever (or just skip this part and paint the splatter on the get-go with brushes...lmao). I just like to find surprises with textures, like the randomness or what sort of new things and ideas they may add or provoke. You can do this with any abstract splatter or shape and so on...

- This was the noodle broth and there’s the used area. (The circles and green clumps didn’t look as good as I first thought, so I used the area without them).

Some other examples, not used in this one:

- let it marinate and haunt you for weeks, do other stuff, learn new things, read fanfiction, rewatch earlier episodes, hone your skills, cry

- start working with the idea, look at references (important!), figure out how six hands work?? what's visible, what's in the shadows etc... what doesn’t need to be shown and still have the composition work...

- continue the doodle, add layers, shapes, slowly build the composition, let it alone for a day, a week, a month...

- Look at it with fresh eyes and remember to mirror image once in a while to see any mistakes. Grunt with frustration, re-do things, look more references

I couldn’t quite decide where to put James’ hand, so I kept testing. Madi’s hand was always supposed to be over John’s heart (yeah I know the heart is more in the center, but you get the gist ;) I also wanted James and Madi to have some sort of connection -> in the final piece their pinkies are touching :) 

- add another texture layer (I had colour dodge on), move it around to find the best place and see the sparks flying accidentally (this was actually done quite early on but anyway)

-> go WOAH! (ʘ‿ʘ)

- continue drawing, occasionally play with the texture layers, try giffing, listen to Finnish (symphonic / power) metal music, have an epiphany, cry about feelings

- Stop at some point. Let it brew more, do not look at it. Next time you look at it, is it ok? No? Yes? Ok, good. Spent a while concising all the thoughts to a few obligatory sentences to have an explanation, fill the tags with ramblings, post it, go for a run walk, preferably to see the sea. Look at the sunset, listen to seagulls and sigh. Return to read other people crying about their feelings that the drawing evoke. Grin and eat more cheap noodles.

Some random notes:

Flint’s blinking moon was a last minute addition (the tattoo was there, but I thought it would be cool to emphasize it more and it fit the overall theme)

To mirror that, Madi’s shining earring represents the sun (or a bright star)

All three of them have their rings, although it may not be clear

that splotch that flies past them has no special meaning, I just liked it. Not sure if it’s a piece of leek or something in the soup. At some point I considered making it look like a crown or a shooting star or a lantern or something.

Working music ended up being Nightwish’s “Nemo”:

Oh how I wish For soothing rain All I wish is to dream again My loving heart Lost in the dark For hope I'd give my everything 

My flower, withered between The pages 2 and 3 The once and forever bloom gone with my sins     (ಥ‿ಥ) Walk the dark path ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Sleep with angels   (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵) Call the past for help   (*whispers* get Thomas to end Flint’s war...) Touch me with your love And reveal to me my true name

(and so on..)

“Nemo” is Latin for “nobody, no one”. Silver is “a nobody from nowhere”.

favouritealias also pointed out the BS quote:“There is freedom in the darkness, once someone has illuminated it." and I can’t believe I didn’t realize that 8D

Lastly. Silver can’t quite believe the luck he has (to have these two in his arms again and in overall), Flint’s finally able to sleep peacefully now that he is back and Madi and John cannot stop smiling at each other. Madi inspects John’s little scratches and wounds and he’s happy to have had a bath before they laid down for the night. Flint keeps sniffing his hair. He also made secret unspoken promises with Madi to keep Silver (and each other) safe in the future (pinky promise).

tl;dr: read later then, lol ;) (if interested in the first place)

I’m not very good at putting my thoughts into words, but there you have it. Thank you for reading! ( ˘ ³˘)♥

[nastymomcomic]

Totally sort of on hiatus, but WAIT

I left off on a note that I wasn’t doing good. So here’s what’s up. I quit my job that I hated and that hated me and it was killing me going there. Honestly the entire experience there could be a comic in of itself. I started changing almost instantly after starting there and my SO brought that to my attention close to when I decided to quit. My anxiety was through the roof, I was getting physically ill from it. It’s been about three months since I quit and I actually feel much better than I did.

The decision to quit came around the end of Christmas season (aka retail hell), my stress level hit it’s max. With work and with how things are at home, I became suicidal and started breaking my things instead of hurting myself. (On a side note I discovered I have a deep raspy yelling voice that would be perfect for an anime character) 

(This is kind of long so I’ll put one of those read more thingies)

I talked with my SO about it and I agreed to quit the job, get back on my anxiety medication , and get back into steady therapy. (I was given a new counselor and hadn’t been able to make it to therapy because of work.) Shortly after I started becoming viciously sick around my period, turns out I just have extremely bad pms to the point ai throw up and become Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde. It is horrible. I didn’t figure it was my period until recently though, for a while I thought I was bipolar or had the flu, even pregnant. Nope, it was just pms. I had no idea how common that is for women until it happened to me.

With the job, I had a lady curse me out because I had to charge her for  10 cent bag that she wanted a giant barrel of pretzels put into, which didn’t fit anyway. That wasn’t even my worst customer by far, but it’s definitely my favorite story to tell. (There will definitely be an episode about that bitch.) I hurt my wrist the first month I worked there and my supervisor never made a report refused to report it, so I wasn’t seen by their doctor, and none of my managers or coworkers were notified of my injury, so my workload and tasks weren’t changed. I went to the my doctor before quitting so I’d have the injury on record, he found it was a sprained wrist, and told me it wouldn’t heal because I’d been using it too much. (Which is why work is supposed to fucking change your work tasks when you have a fucking work related injury.) This same supervisor looked me up and down with the fucking stink eye during my interview and I knew she was going to be a problem, and I wasn’t wrong.

I spent a good two months trying to figure out exactly how to report that my workplace refused to make report for my injury, but at the end of it I just wanted to quit and be done with all of it. This lady had definitely been acting like that way before I worked there, there’s no way the company or at least the other managers weren’t aware of what she does. As much as I would like to get her fired for being a gigantic asshole, it’s not my job to babysit women in their damn 50’s. And she definitely wasn’t the only deciding factor. Besides the shitty customers treating me like shit on a daily basis, I only had  a handful of coworkers who were my saving grace there. They were awesome to work with and I genuinely looked forward to seeing them. But when they weren’t there, my calls would get ignored by my coworkers and managers, I’d find them all chilling out in the office, customers would be left waiting for over 30 minutes because no one wanted to answer me, it was just ridiculous. I could go on and on but I think my final straw was being told by a manager that I needed to “stop doodling” while at the register…. like fucking when??? I asked for clarification or a date on when I’d done such a thing and said manager refused to explain or anything.

I mean, that and when I changed my availability for health reasons. I was working full shifts and 4 days out of the week during peek Christmas season, and changed my availability to just one day a week. Car broke down and you know, I was suicidal and loosing my mind. I made sure to change my availability only after peek was over, but gave management a heads up so they had time to fill shifts. Shit supervisor was the one I had to talk to about it first and she said ‘You’re kidding me, you’re changing your availability during peek?” And I’d had enough of her shit so I sad=id back “No I’m changing it after peek next week, but I’m doing the considerate thing and notifying people now.”

Fucking bitch. Like wow I wrote it was for medical reasons, thank you so much for your fucking concern.

The ironic part was they said I was doing absolutely great, but I’d stopped giving all my fucks over a month ago and started half assing my job like the people who got all the credit for slacking off while others and myself did circles around them. Now that I stopped doing my job well, they liked me? lmfao hwwaaaaat? When I was busting my ass I was always told I was “straggling” and needed to do better. I just… how does that even work? forget it, I don’t work there anymore, it’s not my problem. I quit without giving two weeks notice. I wrote my resignation letter before my shift, and when my shift was done I quit on the spot. Shitty supervisor never looked happier. (lol I bet)

It was weird, that place had fast turnover, but also had people who had been working there for ears. (Shit supervisor had been working there 17+ years) And now I totally get why.

The minute I walked out of the break room knowing I never had to work there again, I felt a giant weight lifted from my entire body. It was absolutely amazing. Thing is, me not having that job doesn’t even make a dent in my income because it was so far away, it had shitty hours, and I was spending so much money on gas to get there. It was absolutely pointless. Now I can focus on things that actually benefit me and build my future.

So I’m back in therapy back on my meds, not having the life drained out of me, and Nmom has been in therapy for like 5 months now and she’s starting to actually be normal, it’s like she’s learning to manager her emotions or something. I don’t trust it, but it makes things a lot easier and I’ll take the quiet while I can get it. Bad news is my grandpa is in the hospital right now, he nearly died, had to have a pacemaker out in him. It’s been a big ordeal but it could be worse. SO things are changing for me again, someone has to be there for him and it’s actually going to be me and Nmom seeing as no one else will. Things are a bit up in the air but I know it could of been worse so I’m just thankful.

My SO is going to be moving soon to his own place and I’ll be living with him half of the week and the rest of the week with my mom and probably with my grandpa when he finally comes home. Honestly I am scared, but I’m also determined. I decided to go back to school, pay off bills, invest in things I need to do, and get back to what I love or I think my soul will die if I don’t.

The comic nasty mom will be back soon, and eventually, it will have to end as well. I’ve found that I tend to reopen wounds through my muse, so i need to find a way to really really, really make this comic for myself. I also tend to care about others more than myself, even in my art. I haven’t really been doing this comic for myself at all, I think I’ve been doing it for others more than for myself. And I need to change that. I’m glad my comic has been able to make others smile and laugh, and it definitely will continue to. But I need to change how I approach my art and life if I want to start taking care of myself seriously.

For now I’m going to start getting my feet wet again with my art and buy a new scanner because mine broke like 4 months ago, and the bastard gave me a bruise last week on my foot. (printers are evil!!!!) There will definitely be a lot of drawings and work sketches to show, so that’s good.

I just got on birth control last week and I’m starting to feel some of the changes and stuff. I’m taking care of my body and hopefully my pms doesn’t make me go crazy. Last week I cried because my SO bought me french fries, and an hour before that I wanted to throw my iced coffee at people because Starbucks mad it wring and I was already nauseated and I got more nauseated because there wasn’t enough creme…. yeah, I’m a mess ahahahah.

I’m doing a lot of soul searching for sure right now, but I’ll be back soon! And with more art! And possibly another comic for when this comic finishes! (Shhhh that part is a secret!)

Until next time, I’ll always reply to comments, and I have a ask box on my tumblr as well. I have tumblr and instagram so that should keep readers and friends a little entertained while I’m away!