#alex mclinn

[meerealsssss]

what the fuck would a ship name for sam and alex be

literally the most basic names ever

[sambroadlysbignaturals]

Peyton: "Literally me when Jack - alpha werewolf - emo - scary - if you see me smile in a fight... RUN. - single - straight - i love my mommy - badass"

Kat:       "STOP."

Alex:     "Yall are just jealous"

Kat:       "Maybe you should put your shirt back on ASSHOLE."

Alex:     "Bit-"

Peyton: "Guysss!! Stop fighting!! Kat, this isn't youuu!!"

Kat:       "bro not this again."

Peyton: "Where is the cutie kitty kat i used to knoooww?? I miss the old you!!'

Sam:     "this is literally why we broke up"

Peyton: "Please, Kat. I know you're still in there"

Kat:       "literally stfu you taste like shit"

Peyton: "If you're going to fight Alex, fight me first."

Kat:       "dude 💀"

Sam:      "PEYTON YOUR CRINGE IS CONTAGIOUS."

Peyton: "😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭"

Alex:     "i need to shit."

Sam:     "shit in my mouth"

Kat:      "that's kinky"

Sam:     "☹️"

Kat:      "peyton your cringe is rubbing off on us"

Peyton: "YOU GUY-"

Sam:     "ATCHOO!"

*silence*

Kat:      "Sam you r-"

Sam:     "ATCHOOOOOOO-UGH"

Peyton: "sam i wish you DIED in that fire"

Sam:     "DATS BEAN DOU'R STO BEA- ATCHOCOOOOOOOOUGHAHHHHHH"

Kat:      "gurl go get the fucking duct tape"

Peyton: "already on it"

Alex:     "But then I can't kiss hiiimm!"

Kat:      "good."

Sam:     "ATCHOO-uH. buCk" *snort*

Alex:    "but then we can't be famous with all the fanfics"

Kat:      "YOU GAYS ARE OVERRATED."

Sam:     "ATCHOOOO-doW" *fucking falls down*

Peyton: "SAM SHUT YOU'RE BITCHASS UP YOU HAVE L RIZZ"

Alex:     "💀"

Alex:     "BRO CAN I NOT DO THAT?"

Sam:     "ATCH- phHHHFFFT"

Peyton: "EW HE SNOTTED ALL OVER ME!!! THAt IS A BIG L"

[moonysfavoritetoast]

brokenly beloved is actually so

( @merealsssss )

okay okay so like zombies

but they have explosives right

THE ZOMVIES CARRY FUCKING EXPLOSIVES

AND ORIGINALLY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A (wasteland, still) WHOLESOME KINDA THING WHERE ALL THE MAIN CHARACTERS ALL WORKED TOGETHER AND STUFF TO GET THROUGH IT

and my dumbass really suggested zombies and that the zombies carry explosives

so that kinda happened…and then i said we should make a character based off of J (j is a kid from school, i won’t say his name for privacy reasons ykyk) and yk what we did? made a character based off of J.

Jazon (jackson, slurred basically, he’s a zombie, can’t speak right) Broadly.

jazon likes bread and crying

and jazon is literally everything to me

and there wasn’t really supposed to be murder or anything like that. because, like i said, it was supposed to be wholesome.

and originally, it was my friend’s book, but i kinda started suggesting so much that she made me co author and editor (idk ig she thinks ik grammar???) and yeah.

like….it’s insane. and the original book was supposed to be called Best Team Ever because yk wholesome friends helping eachother in the appocolypse/wasteland (well it also sounded bad and cringey so ykyk)

i suggested the whole appocolypse thing lmao

but no we turned it into fucking DEATH DEATH GUNS MURDER KNIVES AHAHAH LETS STAB JAZON IN THE BACK—- sorry

so there’s main character Katlynn Johnson (from her perspective), her best friend (also kinda sorta implied crush) Peyton McLinn, peyton’s younger brother Alex McLinn, and then there’s Sam Broadly.

oh and of course JAZON MY BBG BELOVED <3

alex and sam kinda implied btw

but also sam like(s/d) kat???

AND HAHAHAHAH I CANT SAY ANYMORE ILL SPOIL IT AND MY FRIEND WOULDNT LIKE THAT

but like hehe

can you tell i like it a lot?

like…i’m already writing fanfics about it. i’m so excited to get it published (self published. we broke out here) so i can post the fanfics 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

[joyffree]

✨IT'S FREEBIE FRIDAY ➱ Free eBooks Oct 30th

-I present to you this week's bag of mixed delights - From the first kiss of young love to the darkest depths of outer space and all the enchanting places in between…

No matter which path you choose to travel - Until next week - - May your journey be magical 🔮

The Storm and the Darkness by Sarah M. Cradit Iron Goddess by Dharma Kelleher Cutthroat Cupcakes by Cate Lawley The Aliomenti Saga Box Set by Alex Albrinck Death's Door by April White The Anonymous Source by A.C. Fuller Mycophoria by Tom G.H. Adams The Bounty by Beth Williamson Dark Thoughts by Cynthia Sax Wedding of the Century by Patricia McLinn Cleaver Square by Sean Campbell

#crime #fiction #Mystery #RomCom #SciFi #Romance #Historical #horror #thriller #fantasy #cozymystery #lgbt #action #paranormal #free #ebook #freebiefriday

[instapicsil1]

President Donald Trump embraces 9-year-old Jordan McLinn, a Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy patient, after signing the Right to Try Act into law Wednesday. The measure is aimed at helping terminally ill patients access drug treatments that are yet to be fully approved by the Food and Drug Administration. Trump, surrounded by patients and families who will be affected by the legislation, hailed the "hundreds of thousands" of lives that could be saved. 📸 Alex Wong/Getty Images #POTUS #Trump #RightToTry #DC #politics #news #cnn https://ift.tt/2LKtAH4

[sambroadlysbignaturals]

??? (silly zombie): *giggle*

Peyton: "Damn loser. The door's right there."

Sam:     "THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO START TALKING TO THAT- THAT!"

Kat:      "WE'RE FUCKING LEAVING."

*they run until peytons phone dies, in other words they ran for two minutes*

Peyton: "MY PHOOOOONEEE!!"

Kat:      "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND KEEP RUNNING."

Peyton: "NO."

Kat:      "YES."

Peyton: "NO."

Kat:      "YES."

Peyton: "NO."

Kat:      "YES."

Peyton: "NO."

Kat:      "YES."

Peyton: "NO."

Kat:      "YES."

Peyton: "NO."

Kat:      "YES."

Peyton: "NO."

Kat:      "GOD.fine. c'mon sam lets go"

Sam:     "So we're just leaving her?"

Kat:      "Yes. Come on"

Peyton: "stupid santa baby- i mean sammy baby- i mean sam is a who-"

Kat:      "SHUT IT."

Kat:      "Come on, just leave this queer shit to rot."

*they find a dennys cutely*

Sam:     "yo there's people inside actually eating!!!"

Kat:      "Okay, whatever. Just go inside before these expired teenage mutant turtles come after us again."

Waiter: "aight what an i get for yall?"

Sam:     "I want a pizza with p-"

Kat:      "Shut the FUCK up. they don't sell pizza."

Sam:     "I want a PIZZA."

Kat:      "THEY DON'T SELL PI-"

Sam:     "WITH PINEAPPLE AND FRIES."

Waiter: "..."

Kat:      "..."

Sam:     ":3"

Kat:      "FIRST of all. NO PIZZA."

Sam:     ":<"

Kat:      "SECOND OF ALL. Who the hell EATS PIZZA with PINEAPPLE and FRIES?"

Sam:     "me"

Kat:      *fucking slaps him*

Sam:     "YEEEOWWCH."

Waiter: "SHUT."

Waiter: "THE FUCK UP."

Waiter: "WHAT FUCKING EDIBLE SUBSTANCES DO YOU WANT TO SHOVE DOWN YOUR THROAT?"

Sam:     "FINE. I want a birthday c-"

Waiter: "Oh it's your BIRTHDAY?"

Waiter: *clears throat*

Waiter: "Haaappy birrrrthdaaay tooooooo yooooouuu."

Waiter: "Haaappy birrrrthdaaay tooooooo yooooouuu."

Sam:     "shut the fu-"

Waiter: "haaappy BIRRRRTHDAAAY DEEEEAR GAAAAYAAAASSS!!"

Waiter: "HAAPPY BIIIIRTHDAAAY TOOOO Y-"

Kat:      "OH MY SATAN. SHUT UP."

Kat:      "CAN I GET-"

Waiter: "Ohhh you want the answers to the CROSSWORD?"

Waiter: "One down is Algebra. One across is Angler fish. Two is South america. Three is-"

Kat:      "NO."

Waiter: "ANSWERS TO THE FIND THE DIFFERENCE?"

Sam:     "WH-"

Waiter: "THE YELLOW HAT, THE FLAG ON THE BUILDING, THE MANS DIC-"

Kat:      "WHAT."

Waiter: "DO YOU WANT THE ANSWERS OR NOT?"

Kat:      "NO."

Waiter: "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

Sam:     "TO ORDER."

Waiter: "okay what blasphemy do you want?"

Sam:     "Mayonnaise."

Waiter: "what."

Sam:     "three packs of mayonnaise."

Waiter: "Go fuck yourself."

Waiter: "you. what do you want?"

Kat:      "You to go do a backflip off the eiffel tower."

Waiter: "..."

Waiter: "food"

Waiter: "we sell food"

Waiter: "not make your DAMN wishes come true."

Kat:      "SHUT UP YOU WALKING FETUS."

Waiter: "YOU SHUT UP."

Waiter: *sob*

Sam:     "what the hell was that for?"

Kat:      "eh don't worry"

Kat:      "I was just in"

Kat:      "a silly goofy mood."

[sambroadlysbignaturals]

Peyton: "Chat, I'm an only child now!"

Kat:      "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CHARLI D'AMELIO STARBUCKS MUCKBANG WANNABE."

Sam:     "KAT RUN THE FUCK FASTER SLOW-POKE."

Kat:      "HOW ABOUT YOU RUN FOR YOURSELF?"

Sam:     "oh yeah"

Sam:     *falls down*

Peyton: "God, we lost another one."

Peyton: "But before I forget, make sure to like, subscribe, and copy link for me and my definitely-platonic-girlfriend to survive!"

Kat:      "PEYTON SHUT THE ACTUAL FUCK UP BEFORE I USE YOUR PHONE FOR BAIT."

Peyton: "aw ☹"

Sam:     "Hi gays, im back."

Kat:      "AW MAN."

Peyton: "GET IN THE HOTEL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kat:      "WE AREN"T FUCKING IDIOTS. WE KNOW WHERE TO GO."

*they scramble in the lobby and close the door*

Peyton: "I'M ON TWENTY PERCENT GAH"

Kat:      "HOW ABOUT YOU STOP RECORDING?"

Peyton: "I NEED THE WORLD TO KNOW BOUT WHAT'S GOING ON!!!"

Sam:     "there are only three people watching."

Kat:      "and one of them is spamming links to porn websites."

Peyton: "..."

Peyton: "OKAY GUYS THIS IS THE END OF THE STREAM! DON'T FORGE-"

Kat:      "JUST TURN THE GODDAMN VIDEO OFF."

Peyton: "I NEED TO ADVERTISE!!"

*silly window breaks*

Idiots:    "AHHHH!"

[sambroadlysbignaturals]

Kat:      "oh no. alex. waah."

Peyton: "He's giving...dead asf..."

Sam:     "NO SHIT SHERLOCK."

Sam:     "HIS STOMACH IS INSIDE OUT."

Peyton: "Slay."

Peyton: "What is going on my dudes. Welcome to my live. If you hate dead bodies and shit then leave because I'm not turning into the next logan paul."

Kat:      "Read the room, Peyton."

Peyton: "sorry the cam quality is ass, im like in the middle of nowhere."

Sam:     *baby sobbing*

Kat:      "oh shut up."

Sam:     "We couldn't even have kiiiiiiidss!!"

Peyton: "Only in Ohio-"

Kat:      "You are so damn annoying."

???:       *growling noises*

Sam:     "What the fuu-uuck!!"

Kat:      "stop growling you furry."

Peyton: "thats so rude"

Kat:      "So-"

???:       "RAahh!!"

Kat:      "shut the fuck up."

Peyton: "AAAHHH!! SNAKE!!"

Kat:      "."

Kat:      "That's a-"

Sam:     "AAAHHH!! ZOMBIE!!"

Peyton: "Chat, are y'all seeing this?"

???:       "😖"

Kat:      "ew, an influencer."

???:       "😡"

Sam:     "The zombie's angyyyy!"

*zombie cutely chases them*

the queers: "AAAAAH"

*kat grabs sam by the shirt and they run away!!*

Sam:     "ALEX!!"

Kat:      "THAT BITCH IS MORE DEAD THAN THE BURGER KING AD. FORGET HIM!"

Sam:     "WAAAH"

[sambroadlysbignaturals]

*they come across a hotel cutely*

Kat:      "OH MY DAYS WERE SAVED."

Peyton: "yeah, sam go shower"

Peyton: "you're killing my nose"

Sam:     "fiiine"

*sam runs inside*

Peyton: "im not going inside until sam comes out smelling better than DUOLINGO."

Kat:      "what."

Peyton: "Look!! A dead body!"

Kat:      "what."

Peyton: "OH LORD IM SAVED!!!"

Peyton: "THEY HAVE A PORTABLE CHARGER!!"

Kat:      "You are so dramatic."

*peyton charges her phone with the charger*

Peyton: "Done!"

Kat:      "Done what? Being a fucking idiot?"

Peyton: "no. done posting five posts on tumblr !!"

Kat:      "No one cares about your FOURTEEN FOLLOWERS."

Peyton: "ACTUALLY I HAVE TEN MILL ON TUMBLR, TWENTY THOUSAND ON YOUTUBE, AND THIRTY HUNDRED ON GOOGLE."

Kat:      "..."

Kat:      "how."

Kat:      "how do you get"

Kat:      "followers"

Kat:      "on fucking GOOGLE??"

Peyton: "See! I'm actually so slaying rn!!"

Kat:      "Whatever."

Kat:      "I'm done losing brain cells because of you fag"

Sam:     "Kehehe! I-I-I-I'm done showering senpai!!"

Peyton: "..."

Kat:      "..."

Peyton: "..."

Kat:      "..."

Peyton: "..."

Kat:      "..."

Peyton: "..."

Kat:      "..."

Peyton: "actually?"

Kat:      "What the fuck."

Sam:     "wheres my uwu cat alex??"

Kat:      "why would we know?"

Peyton: "real!"

Kat:      "shut up."

Sam:     "He was with you queers last I checked."

Kat:      "You can't be talking."

Sam:     *sniff* "Where did alex goooo!!"

Kat:      "oh my god you crybaby"

Sam:     "We have to fiiiind hiiim!!"

Peyton: "shut up justin bieber."

Peyton: "go find your be-love-ed!!"

Kat:      "are we seriously going back into the forest to find that little nerd?"

Sam:     "YES."

Kat:      "Fiiiine."

*they walk back into the forest*

Peyton: "A says ah and B says buh! C says cuh, D says duh!"

Kat:      "shut."

Peyton: "E says eh and F says fuh, G says guh!"

Kat:      "bitch istfg"

Peyton: ""H says huh and I says eih! J says juh, K says kuh!"

Sam:     "I have to shit."

Peyton: "L says lll and M says mmm! N says nnn!

Kat:      "CAN YOUR STARBUCKS SLURPIE DURPIE BURPIE ASS TAKE OUT YOUR HEADPHONES AND ACTUALLY HELP?"

Peyton: "LITERALLY NO. IM TRYING TO LEARN THE ALPHABET."

Kat:      "SAM IS CRYING SO HARD HE THREW UP RAINBOWS."

Kat:      "YOU CAN LEARN YOUR ALPHABET LATER, GOD."

Peyton: "FINE."

*silence*

Peyton: "ANOTHER DEAD BODY!!"

Peyton: "DOUBLE POINTS IF THEY WERE INNOCENT!!"

Kat:      "shut."

Sam:     "OH MY GOD!"

Kat:      "That was unnecessary asf"

Peyton: "OH MY LORD! ITS ALEX!!"

Peyton: "No double points ☹"

Sam:     "I WANT A TEAR DRIVIN UKULELE APOLOGY NOW."

[sambroadlysbignaturals]

Longer story short they burned down the walmart and sam was now covered in duct tape with explosive snot coming out of his nose

Kat:      "Sam I hate you."

Sam:     "mmmp- hmMMMMTCHMMMMCK"

Alex:    "Stop sneezing, it's turning me on."

Peyton: "Alex stop being gay"

Alex:    "Oh, okay."

Kat:      "okay im getting food"

Peyton: "no you are NYAT"

Kat:      "yes i am"

Kat:      *does that gacha logic ass hand clap thing and she teleports away*

Alex:    "oh my god she's a magician"

Sam:     *more muffled sneezing*

Peyton: "stop cumming out of your nose tf"

Alex:    "Peyyyyttoooon!! he can't help ittt"

Sam:     *wiggles on the floor like a worm*

Peyton: "Oh my goooooddd!! kill it!!"

Alex:    "NO."

Peyton: "😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭"

Kat:      "wsp im back"

Alex:    "You got MCDONALDS??!!"

Peyton: "WHERE TF DID YOU GET MCDONALDS FRFR???"

Kat:      "..."

Kat:      "McDonalds?"

Alex:    "bitch gimme a fry"

Kat:      "is that how you ask?"

Peyton: *gets on her knees*

Peyton: "I will be your dog for a fry"

Kat:      "do you have are stupid?"

Peyton: "..."

Peyton: "what."

Peyton: "literally speak american."

Kat:      "Do you."

Kat:      "Have are."

Kat:      "Stupid."

Kat:      "motherfucker."

Peyton: "."

Peyton: "fine, im not talking to a deformed sewer rat."

Sam:     *kicks his feet for freedom*

Kat:      "shut up you broke super sonic"

Kat:      "we taped you up for a reason"

Peyton: "PREACH BABE!!"

Kat:      "shut the fuck your ass"

Peyton: "guys i tooted"

Peyton: "it smells like eggs"

Kat:      "what the."

Kat:      "what the fart."

Peyton: "yeah, my fart"

Sam:     "EW I SMELL LIKE SH-EIIIGHEIIIIGHEIIIIIIIIT!!!"

Kat:      "WHO IN THEIR GODDAMN MIND UNTAPED YOU??"

Alex:    "its me! hi! im the problem! its m-"

Peyton: "OH MY SHIT SHUT UP SWIFTIE."

Kat:      "I ate all the mcdonals"

Peyton: "OKAY PIG"

Sam:     "UUGH I NEED TO SHOWEr"

Peyton: "yeah sam, you're ibs is acting up"

Kat:      "your*"

Sam:     "FOR THE LAST TIME I DON'T HAVE IBS"

Kat:      "not until that one time you hit the whip and naenae"

Peyton: "fuck you fuckers i need to talk to my tumblr."

Peyton: "my followers are wondering where my midday post is."

Kat:      "BITCH."

[meerealsssss]

carson is so alex to the power of b core

[sambroadlysbignaturals]

Kat:      "GYATT daum"

Alex:    "That is literally your mom"

Peyton: "No that's her greatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreat grandfather's daughter"

Kat:      "She practically isn't related to me anymore

Demon: "What the fuck is wrong with this gen-"

Demon: "why is my name LITERALLY demon."

Sam:     "Because we don't know what yo name is"

Demon: "Oh, my name is-"

Peyton: "Literally, no one cares. Just go away momm- I mean- haw- I mean-"

Kat:      "PEYTON SHUT YO LESBIAN ASS UP I SWEAR TO GYATT YOU QUEER WOULD SHOVE A GUTTER UP YO ASS AND MAKE OUT WITH A KITCHEN DRAIN. YOU CAN'T BE LEFT ALONE BECAUSE YOU WOULD LITERALLY GO ON TINDER AND WOULD TELL TEN GUYS YOU SWIPED ON YOUR EXACT LOCATION YOU MANIFEST WHORE."

Sam:     "Kitty it ain't that seriou-"

Kat:      "SAM YOU CAN'T BE TALKING YOU HAD FIVE GIRLFRIENDS ALL UP ON YOU BEFORE YOU LEGIT SAID 'fuck it im gay bitches' AND ALMOST MADE HALF THE GIRL POPULATION JUMP OFF A BRIDGE. AND EVEN WORSE YOU STARTED DATING ALEX WHO LOOKS FIVE YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU SO PEOPLE START CALLING YOU A PEDOPHILE. I SWEAR ALL YOU DO IS BEG FOR ALEX JUST SO YOU CAN MAKE OUT WITH HIS DOUBLE BUBBLE GAY ASS."

*silence*

Demon: "Bitch what the fuck."

Kat:      "WANT ME TO GO AT YOU TOO?"

Demon: "bitch you don't even know me."

Alex:     "Kat, you sound like those hot cheeto gals"

*angy aggressive staring at alex*

Alex:     "What? Whatchu so mad for?"

Peyton: "Chat, I think Kat needs some pads."

Kat:      "YOU DYKE!"

*they start fighting cutely*

Demon: "fuck this im out"

Sam:     "Oh my god, couple goals!"

Alex:    "Wanna make out?"

Sam:     "yes."

(im not writing this.)

Kat:      "I HATE YOU!!"

Peyton: "I H-"

Kat:      "WHAT?"

Peyton: *pointing at the GAYS*

Kat:      *turns over cutely*

Alex:     "Uwu sammy baby"

Kat:       "WHAT THE FUCK."

[sambroadlysbignaturals]

Kat:      "Bitch."

Sam:     "Excuse me?"

Kat:      "B-I-T-C-H. Sam."

Sam:     "Katlynn Joh-"

Kat:      "BITCH."

Peyton: "Bitch stfu,"

Kat:       "It's his fault."

Kat pointed at Sam

Sam:      "BITCH?"

Alex:     "BRO SHUT UP OR NO KISSIES."

Sam:      "sowwy babe."

Peyton: "💀"

Kat:       "Peyton, how are you saying the skull emoji OUT LOUD?"

Peyton:  "This is so unslay of you asses. TELLING MY TUMBLR."

Peyton proceeds to pull out her almost dead phone.

Kat:       "May as well ask them if I can eat Sam's face off."

Kat stared at Sam.

Sam:      "BITC-"

Peyton:  "Yo, queers, I'm trying to type."

Peyton waved her hand at them.

Kat:       "I am not-"

Peyton:  "We made out in the bathroom."

Kat: "Oh yeah."   

 Long story short Alex got aids.

Peyton: "Literally, we're in the middle of a forest," Peyton complained, "This is so ungirlypop."

Alex:     "sowwy sissy."

Peyton: "DID YOU JUST ASSUMe MY GENDER?"

Alex:     "bitch."

Peyton: "CANCELED. WE ARE NOT COLLABING."

Alex:     "WHAT."

Peyton: "smh my fuckin head."

Alex:    "Peyto-"

     Peyton proceeds to whip and naenae for a tiktok.

Peyton: "NO WTF??"

Kat:      "what's wrong now, you processed, fermented block of cheese?"

Peyton: "MY PHONE DIED MID-DANCE." *cries while doing the macarena*

Kat:      "oh my GOD you are THE definition of jackshit."

Sam:     "Oh my shitballs there's a Walmart."

Kat:      "Yeah Sam, pretty sure your balls are covered in shi-"

Sam:     "DUDE DON'T SAAAY THAT!!"

Alex:     "So dipper core."

All three of them: SHUT.

Anyways, they walked in the walmart.

Kat:      "DEMONS!!"

Sam:     "Fuck you mean demo-"

Sam:     "Unholy mayonnaise that bitch is hot."

Alex:    "SAM!"

Peyton: "GYAAAAATTTTT."

Peyton: "LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE IF YOU LOVE JESUS."

Sam:     "bitch what."

[meerealsssss]

PeYtOn’S gRiMaCe ShAkE

By: meerealsssss

I was border than my bike with training wheels that hasn't been used since 2008 that was still in the garage. So, I decided to be a normal person and went outside.

But since my life can never be normal, (like how hard is it just to give me a normal life?) some random purple shake popped out of nowhere, scaring the crap out of me. And unlike a normal person, I picked it up and drank it.

It was disgusting.

I drank some more.

Then, my stupid, fiberglass-eating, nose-picker, toe nail-chewing little brother, Alex, took MY SHAKE.

“Yummy!” Alex exclaimed as he brought his crusty, musty, dusty, rusty, lips to the straw. I scowled.

“AYE THAT’S MINE!” I yelled.

“NOT ANYMORE IT’S NOT!”

He scurried away.

“THAT’S MY RANDOM PURPLE SHAKE YOU USED WET WIPE!!” I screamed as I ran after him.

Of course I was the faster runner. I ran track. So that slow-poke was pretty easy to get to.

“That’s mine, you coconut!” I yelled as I snatched the shake from Alex.

“Give it back!” Alex reached for the shake, but I held it over his head where he couldn’t reach.

HONK!

“Get outta the road ya nincompoop!” Someone in a car yelled.

So like the good big sister I was, I kicked Alex to the road and ran away.

“PEYTON!” Alex screamed from behind me.

“I’m calling the police!” I responded.

Ten minutes later, Alex and I were in the back of a cop car. It felt like detention.

“So, you stole a Grimace shake?” the cop asked Alex.

“My Grimace shake,” I scoffed.

“I wasn’t asking you!”

“She’s my sister! I always steal from her!” Alex argued.

“WHAT?” I screamed.

“Tell that to the judge.” The cop sighed.

“Alex McLinn, please stand.”

Alex stood up like a flarping animatronic, so upright and smiling like a crazy person.

“Is it true you stole your sister’s shake?” The judge asked.

“Nah, she’s delusional. Lying to all y’all,” Alex bluffed, very much intentional.

“I am not!” I protested.

“You are too!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“Silence!”

Alex smiled all innocent and stuff as he stopped and looked at the judge.

“That’s it, you’re getting death row.”

“WHAT WHY?” Alex cried.

“You’re too ugly to actually look at. You’re killing my eyes.”

“HUH?”

“CASE CLOSED!” The judge hit his goofy gavel on the goofy table.

“This is just as bad as mint toothpaste and mustard guacamole,” Alex complained.

“What do you mean? That stuff is good,” I said.

“Are you sure you’re not the one going on death row?”

A week later Alex got his last meal.

It was a Grimace shake.

Then I was told Alex would die by getting run over, and I had the honors!!! I got to drive a delivery truck heading right toward him without getting in trouble. I happily ran him over. (Not like I was planning on doing that anyway.)

The End bbg