#all my hockey poems are about war

[simmyfrobby]

Sidnur Crosbur poem if you please

— We Were All Odysseus in Those Days, Amorak Huey

[ephhemeralite]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers ♡

(–couthbbg <3)

woag hi 👋!!! this one is gonna be long bc 1) chatterbox 2) its so so important to talk abt the good things. so i will be doing so at length

i really enjoy getting into things that have like. a lot going on? i like when there's a lot to learn and it takes a while to piece it all together. hockey is like this (shit ton of teams, players, rules, surrounding culture, history, stats, etc!!) as is, say, star wars. batman was like this when i first got into it too!!

bugs!!!!!!!!!!! bugs. i love bugs. i just wrote a poem yesterday about mosquitoes. i wrote a giant paper on cicadas my freshman year and it altered my whole brain i think. deep emotional ties to fireflies. big feelings about little guys

poems and music... grouped together but i adore poetry. i love poetry so much. i love to write poetry i love to read it i love to interpret it i love to gather and compare it i love to criticize it. wrote an essay last semester on in a station at the metro by ezra pound bc my prof said she didn't think anyone would (seeing as its. a 14 word poem). i could and would talk about poetry forever. life's passion

my loved ones.... like i mean obviously but its worth saying. having experienced not having support, not having friends or family, it really makes you appreciate just how important those connections are, which isn't even taking into consideration how my people are the best people objectively (deeply subjectively). muah i love y'all

the sunset!!!!!!!!!!!! mentioned something related to this to cara recently but seeing the sunset to me is this convenient reminder that the world and life can and is. so beautiful. and you don't have to do anything special for the beauty to find you bc its literally right above you. no matter where you are if you are alive to experience it the beauty will find you!!!!!!!!!

[mattysmind19]

February

BY MARGARET ATWOOD

Winter. Time to eat fat

and watch hockey. In the pewter mornings, the cat,

a black fur sausage with yellow

Houdini eyes, jumps up on the bed and tries

to get onto my head. It’s his

way of telling whether or not I’m dead.

If I’m not, he wants to be scratched; if I am

He’ll think of something. He settles

on my chest, breathing his breath

of burped-up meat and musty sofas,

purring like a washboard. Some other tomcat,

not yet a capon, has been spraying our front door,

declaring war. It’s all about sex and territory,

which are what will finish us off

in the long run. Some cat owners around here

should snip a few testicles. If we wise

hominids were sensible, we’d do that too,

or eat our young, like sharks.

But it’s love that does us in. Over and over

again, He shoots, he scores! and famine

crouches in the bedsheets, ambushing the pulsing

eiderdown, and the windchill factor hits

thirty below, and pollution pours

out of our chimneys to keep us warm.

February, month of despair,

with a skewered heart in the centre.

I think dire thoughts, and lust for French fries

with a splash of vinegar.

Cat, enough of your greedy whining

and your small pink bumhole.

Off my face! You’re the life principle,

more or less, so get going

on a little optimism around here.

Get rid of death. Celebrate increase. Make it be spring.

When searching for a poem I started with reading ones around the theme of “bears” since they are my favorite animal however I didn’t love any of the ones I read. So, I switched it up and tried searching for my favorite sport, hockey! This lead me to the poem ”February” By Margaret Atwood. Even though hockey is only really referenced twice in the poem once at the beginning with the line “Time to eat fat and watch hockey.” And another time just after the halfway point with the line ”He shoots, he scores!” I found I connected with the entire poem. The poem mentions some of my favorite things, from winter time, to hockey, to pets, and then eventually to spring time. As the author creates this image of a setting of being at home during the winter time probably on a very cold morning our protagonist is having a slow morning one that is being woken up by the house cat checking on its owner. The author continues on about how the time of year and the weather are gloomy and weighing on the protagonists’ overall mental health. Towards the end of the poem the author mentions “You’re the life principle, more or less, so get going

on a little optimism around here.” This is a great way of saying life is what we make it and how our thoughts can really affect our present and our future so if your gonna reflect and dream about your future they should be positive thoughts! The final line of the poem “Get rid of death. Celebrate increase. Make it be spring.” Is a brilliant metaphor for clearing the bad things and our thoughts from our life, celebrate the wins in life no matter how small and finally make it happen. Of course we can’t literally make it turn spring time but we can control our thoughts and our actions so if you want bright and happy days you need to make them happen no matter what mother nature throws your way. 

[poetryfoundation-potd]

February

By Margaret Atwood

Winter. Time to eat fat

and watch hockey. In the pewter mornings, the cat,

a black fur sausage with yellow

Houdini eyes, jumps up on the bed and tries

to get onto my head. It’s his

way of telling whether or not I’m dead.

If I’m not, he wants to be scratched; if I am

He’ll think of something. He settles

on my chest, breathing his breath

of burped-up meat and musty sofas,

purring like a washboard. Some other tomcat,

not yet a capon, has been spraying our front door,

declaring war. It’s all about sex and territory,

which are what will finish us off

in the long run. Some cat owners around here

should snip a few testicles. If we wise

hominids were sensible, we’d do that too,

or eat our young, like sharks.

But it’s love that does us in. Over and over

again, He shoots, he scores! and famine

crouches in the bedsheets, ambushing the pulsing

eiderdown, and the windchill factor hits

thirty below, and pollution pours

out of our chimneys to keep us warm.

February, month of despair,

with a skewered heart in the centre.

I think dire thoughts, and lust for French fries

with a splash of vinegar.

Cat, enough of your greedy whining

and your small pink bumhole.

Off my face! You’re the life principle,

more or less, so get going

on a little optimism around here.

Get rid of death. Celebrate increase. Make it be spring.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47787/february-56d2288025b1e

No Audio Included

[cassandraclare]

Jessa/Wessa ship wars

teenagefunbouquet said:Isn't it enough Tessa&Jem got a wedding comic, two kids (and you say more), a lifetime as the only mates for each other and your most explicitly written sex scene After the Bridge? Wessa are the most popular and we get nothing, every wessa moment is shared with Jem while Jessa get to be alone, Wessa fans got no "anticipation" like jessa fans are getting now everyday you give them a book in jem's pov or a short story or a new kid. it feels like wessa is dead.

I’ll be interested in people’s thoughts on this. (I left the username as is since it’s a blank account, probably created to ask this question, so no one’s really getting hurt in this minor drama.) Most of my long and somewhat crabbish post is under the read more.

First, let me reply with the obvious, which is the Jessa rebuttal: “Isn’t it enough that Will gets to be Tessa’s first love and Jem only gets to be her second? Isn’t it enough that Will and Tessa had sex when they thought Jem was dead? Isn’t it enough that there’s a whole series about Will and Tessa’s kids but we only find out that Jem and Tessa had a kid in a short story? Isn’t enough that Jem and Tessa have spent half their relationship looking for a kid who’s related to Will, not either of them? Isn’t it enough that Will and Tessa got two biological kids they got to spend eighteen years raising and Jem and Tessa only get like two years with Kit? Jessa are the most popular, but half the stories in Ghosts of the Shadow Market happened while Will was still alive! And now Wessa fans are getting content every day and have two more books of Wessa being married and doing cute stuff to look forward to. Every day they’re getting a special edition of a book with a whole short story about their wedding. It feels like Jessa is dead.”

Not that I believe any of that either: I think both complaints are equally silly and selfish. But they are complaints rooted in the same logic, which is “My ship is the best and most popular, and every time I see something that in my mind supports the ship I hate I feel angry and diminished, and rather than perhaps examining those feelings I’d like to vent them on other fans and the creator.”

So. My feeling about this is: I am sad to see there is still some kind of a ship war here. As far as I am concerned...

the Wessa/Jessa ship war ended in 2012 when we found out Tessa loved both boys equally and would spend a lifetime with both of them. The end. Quibbling about irrelevant details like how many kids each couple has subsequently or examining closely the explicitness of their sex scenes seem bizarre and pointless. It has nothing to do with how books and stories are made, or how they work, or what functions they serve. At this point it’s like you decided your favorite football team could definitely beat another team, and you spend all your time obsessing about it even though they will never play against the other team because the other team is a hockey team.

When I see people say that “Wessa got” something or “Jessa got” something, it makes me cringe. It reduces stories that are about other things, often friendship, to being about a ship war I am not a part of. (Not every story or book in which a couple appears is a story about that ship. Sometimes they’re just grouting their shower or fighting a demon.) Wessa and Jessa are not dueling pop stars fighting over who gets to perform on the Tonight Show. In fact, they are not fighting at all, which is part of the underlying problem. People are used to love triangles where two guys are fighting over a girl and are jealous of each other. Will and Jem are not jealous of each other. They are not fighting over Tessa. To believe that it lessens Will and Tessa’s relationship that Jem is around and alive, or that it makes Jem and Tessa’s relationship better that Will is dead, is a fundamental misunderstanding of these characters and the story they are in. You are trying to shove a square peg into a round hole, and it will cause you endless misery and frustration.

For instance, claiming that “every Wessa moment is spent with Jem.” Well, that’s ridiculous. Obviously, Will and Tessa spent an enormous amount of quality time alone together in TID. (Otherwise, you would have no investment in this relationship in the first place. There’s a reason you’re attached to it.) Jem did not attend their wedding. He is around in Chain of Gold mostly in his role as a Silent Brother: tending the sick, helping James, bringing news. He is not around during the scene where Will and Tessa make love, or when they kiss and cuddle in the drawing room, grossing out their kids. (I had to fight very very hard to retain even one scene of Will and Tessa alone: in a normal YA book, you would never see a sex scene between the parents, from their point of view.)

The problem is not that there is no “Wessa content” to “anticipate.” The majority of Wessa fans are happy to enjoy stuff like the wedding story or the Wessa moments in TLH. The problem is that the person asking this question will only accept a TLH book in which Jem isn’t mentioned at all as “Wessa content,” and since that would be a fundamental and appalling betrayal of the story and characters — something I would never write and never consider — they will forever feel they are not getting what they deserve.

Asker: if you think that it’s somehow better for Jem and Tessa that Will is dead, that they “get” something that Will and Tessa don’t by having had something awful happen to them, then I do not even know how to begin to speak to you. What has always been meaningful to me about Will, Jem and Tessa is that they all loved each other equally. If that is not the case, then they are not people I am interested in writing about. If that being the case makes you not want to read about them, then you are free to stop — please do — but the story is not going to become something other than it is because you feel your ship is the “most popular.” (Which it is not in my experience, the ships are about equal, and I don’t know why it would matter if it was.)

In After the Bridge, which is not an explicit sex scene but rather a short story that contains sex (they exist!) Will is mentioned thirty-two times. Here’s an example:

“Jem swallowed, running his fingers up and down the blade. “He had only just died,” he said. She didn’t need to ask who he was. There was really only one He when it was the two of them speaking. “I was afraid. I saw what happened to the other Silent Brothers. I saw how they hardened over time, lost the people they had been. How as the people who loved them and who they loved died, they became less human. I was afraid that I would lose my ability to care. To know what this knife meant to Will and what Will meant to me.”

If you think Will isn’t present in Jem and Tessa’s relationship just because he’s dead, you’re wrong. He’s mentioned constantly. (And if someone thought that made it not Jessa content, I would have the same discussion with them: If Jem and Tessa didn’t care about Will, I wouldn't care about them.)

As long as there has been fandom, there have been ship wars. Social media has added a new dimension to that, which is what you’re doing here: the ability to run to the creator and complain, hoping they’ll side with you or give you what you want.

Here’s the problem: it’s really really toxic to have been involved in a clearly vicious ship battle for years. It will destroy utterly your ability to read or enjoy the canon you’re arguing about. I’ve been there, I’ve had friends be there. If you think it’s a point for Jem and Tessa that Will is dead, if you went into Last Hours thinking Jem wouldn’t be in it, that is a sign of a profound detachment from the actual reality of the canon books. You are not interacting with what I am writing or the characters as they are. You are interacting with the fight you are having. That is why your discourse has spun so far off from the books it no longer resembles what is actually happening in them, and demands such extreme gestures to be appeased — like leaving Jem out of Lost Book when he’s actually from the city the characters are visiting, or cutting him from Last Hours even though it would be unrealistic, cruel, and a disappointment to the vast majority of readers.

Dismissing every single moment Will and Tessa have together in TLH because Jem is alive somewhere and it’s bothering you is a recipe for you to be miserable. Clearly you didn’t enjoy the Wessa wedding, or the Will and Tessa love scenes in Chain of Gold. Clearly you consider Jem and Tessa having children not to be a reason for happiness but rather bitter rage even though it is totally irrelevant to Will and Tessa’s past relationship. The only thing that would be satisfactory would be a rewrite of Clockwork Princess in which Jem was run over by a tank and Will and Tessa didn’t care and were happy and got married and we never had to hear about Jem again. But because that would require time travel and a rewrite of Will and Tessa as vile assholes, that is not a thing you are going to get. If you are determined to always be miserable about the reality of what this story is, than the only result of that is that you will always be miserable.

There is never going to be a winner of this love triangle. It isn’t that story. No amount of anything I do is ever going to change that: no short stories I write, or content I produce, or books or sex scenes or longform poems about either couple will change the fact that both Will and Jem ended up with Tessa and she loves them equally. If you want a “somebody wins” kind of love triangle, there are other books that will provide that for you. These will never be those books.

So why did you write this long screed, Cassie, the rest of you might be wondering, and fairly. Three reasons. One is that there are other questions that are carbon copies of this one (as in, written by the same person/small group of people) cluttering up my inbox, and I want to put a stop to the idea that this kind of thing is going to be acknowledged as a valid comment or complaint. It’s not. Second, we have all been driven bananas by quarantine and I am no exception. The third is that this is the last time I am going to address this kind of ship-fight-disguised-as-question. Any further demands for me to favor one Tessa ship over another will be responded to with a link to this post. In the end I’m hoping this will be a time saver once we’re all allowed outside again.

[missmentelle]

So I’ve seen a bit floating around online about how this pandemic qualifies as a collective trauma and I wondered if you could speak to that. I don’t feel traumatized—I mean I’m self isolating in an apartment and it sucks and I don’t love worrying about food and my fam and friends, but is that the same thing as trauma? How would I tell? I already have depression and anxiety so that isn’t really new to me. Idk I just feel guilty going “oh I’m traumatized” when I have it pretty good, actually

A collective trauma is not just a grouping of individual traumas, and not everyone who lives through a collective trauma will be traumatized by it. When we talk about “collective trauma”, we’re talking about the ways that groups understand, process and remember that trauma as a whole, on a group level, and how that trauma becomes a part of collective identity. What defines a group trauma is not post-traumatic symptoms or individual experience, but the way that we as a group talk about that trauma, create art and traditions to commemorate that trauma, and tell our children about that trauma. You don’t personally need to live through a collective trauma in order to be a part of it; the vast majority of Jewish people alive today did not personally live through the Holocaust, but that event remains in their culture as a collective trauma that continues to play a part in their Jewish identities. Likewise, the vast majority of ethnically German people alive today did not participate in the Holocaust, but they still participate in collective trauma by finding ways to come to terms with their history and move forward with the knowledge that that is a part of their collective identity.

The idea of collective trauma is that, even if your own individual experience was outside of the norm or “easier” than most, you can still dial into the collective experience by being part of the group it happened to. The event as a whole was “yours”, as a group, and it’s meaningful to you. Those of us who aren’t Rwandan can learn about the Rwandan genocide in academic terms, by reading history books or even speaking directly to people who survived it, but it’s not “yours”. You can have sympathy for the victims and think that it’s a terrible thing that should never have happened, but it’s not your trauma. It doesn’t have personal meaning to you - it’s just a thing that happened in history. Rwandans born after 1994 have no lived experience of the genocide, but they do share in the collective trauma; the genocide is a direct part of their family’s personal story, and they have to come to terms with not only the role that their own family might have played in the genocide as victim, perpetrator or both, but they have to come to terms with what it means for Rwanda that such a terrible thing happened there. They walk past physical memorials, they see disfigured survivors with missing limbs, and consume poems and books and songs about what happened. Whether you were someone who personally survived and was injured in the genocide or whether your connection is more indirect doesn’t matter - the collective trauma is the group’s experience as a whole. 

A collective trauma does not have to be something that occurred on a national or international scale, like a genocide or world war. Collective trauma can occur on a much smaller, more localized scale. The students who survived the Stoneman Douglas school shooting are part of a collective trauma, as are the community members who lived in Parkland at that time; whether they were students who actually survived taking a bullet or just concerned community members whose view of their hometown was shattered by the event, they were part of a collective trauma that developed around that event. My hometown lost four boys when their hockey team’s bus crashed into a semi-trailer two years ago - that event was a collective trauma for my hometown, and for the people outside our hometown who knew those boys and their teammates. An event does not have to be famous to form a collective trauma, and you don’t need to be right at the center of it to identify with that collective trauma - the trauma exists independently of any one person. 

This pandemic certainly qualifies as a collective trauma because it has disrupted the lives of nearly everyone on earth, in a variety of different ways. The vast, vast majority of us won’t actually be traumatized by this pandemic in a clinical sense - most people will find the disruption annoying and kind of scary, but they won’t have nightmares and flashbacks for years after it ends - but they are still a part of the collective trauma. Everyone who survives this pandemic is probably going to be weird about physical contact and cleanliness and crowded spaces for a very long time to come - that’s collective trauma. It’s going to take a very long time for people to start seeing things like movie theatres and concerts and public transit as totally “safe” again, and stop worrying about the possibility that they may get some kind of infection. We might stop shaking hands entirely, and a lot of office jobs might permanently shift to a work-from-home model. Tourism in NYC may suffer for years, and it might take a really long time for the city to shake off the notion that it is a “dirty” and “infected” place. All of that is collective trauma. Even if you aren’t currently on the front lines of an emergency room or facing imminent financial ruin from losing your job, you’re still probably going to feel a little uneasy in crowded places and get upset if your coworker comes to work sick for years to come after all this is over, and that’s still part of the trauma. It’s about the way that our society changes after something catastrophic happens, and it will affect all of us, even if we had a relatively easy few months sitting at home binging Netflix. 

Hope this helps!

Miss Mentelle

[garden-of-succulents]

#wipitgood WIP amnesty: The fic I keep wrestling with but never make progress on, the “How Kent Parson Discovered Paganism” story. The poem quoted is real; it’s by Franco Buffoni. 

---

The year after my life fell apart and I made it big, I googled, "why is god cruel?"

Holy fuck, that got me so many stupid answers. I’d already tried to read When Bad Things Happen to Good People the summer before and given up a few pages in, and this was pretty much that in Google form. Everyone's so desperate to tell you that God doesn't really let bad things happen, they're not really bad, they're just secretly good things in disguise or something and it’s all going to work out in the end.

Fuck that.

But I found a poem.

From Mars cruel god of war The desire to tie the corpse to the chariot And drag it around each morning, From Mercury the idea to put a stop to that And buy the body back. Because everything sooner or later becomes a musical Or a collectible card or figurine

And that was... holy fuck. Nothing I’d ever read had made me feel like that.

In middle school we did a thing on Greek mythology. We actually got to do a field trip to the movie theatre to see Troy, and I actually got to go, which I basically never do. (Hockey.) It was awesome, and I remember our teacher reading us the opening lines of the Iliad, "Sing of the rage of Achilles."

I didn't really like school. I actually kind of hated it. That was before I moved to Quebec, and before the school actually realized that I needed things read aloud to me. Like, I'm not illiterate, but reading is hard and I'm slow at it and it makes my head hurt. But that was with the one teacher I really liked and I remember it. I remember being in school then and thinking, "I wish it was like this all the time."

And, well. We talked about the movie in class and how the war had really taken ten years and the movie wasn't totally accurate and Carrie said, "They totally didn't mention the part where Achilles and Patroclus were gay," and the teacher agreed with her. Like, Brad Pitt Achilles was gay, and in the movie they made them just cousins.

Everyone else was arguing about it because there was a girl in the story and that proved he couldn't be gay but I actually raised my hand and said, "Wouldn't he just be like, bisexual and cheating?" and I could tell Carrie was going to talk to me after class about it. We were really good friends last year and she thought she was maybe a lesbian. I wasn't actually sure if was was okay for me to be friends with her again, because the hockey season was still over, but it was still... I didn't actually know if it was okay anymore. My coach still thought I'd be going into the OHL and he still parked across from the school sometimes, so I just packed up my stuff and left without letting her catch my eye.

I looked it up later though, and she was literally right. They were totally... bisexual or something. So I knew that was the story. This guy killed Patroclus, and it made Achilles so angry that he killed the guy and dragged his body around behind his chariot, even though he shouldn't have done it. I'd imagined feeling that, back then, like: Finding someone really important to me, and having them die. How much I'd want to get revenge. What I'd do even if it made me a horrible person. I'd never really been in love, but I could imagine then.

So it was like I was being stripped, turned inside-out, by that poem.

Because everything sooner or later becomes a musical Or a collectible card or figurine Hitler or the Fierce Saladin Dracula the Impaler All stripped of any awareness of suffering: There is no voice in stones

I'd been a trading card for years. Like, a literal trading card. Top NHL Prospects of 2010. People would ask me to sign them when I was in the Q. "An investment for my grandchildren for when you make it big."

People still asked me to sign stuff with Jack on it. Memorial Cup... memorial stuff. Or from World Juniors. Every time I did it I'd just kind of wonder: How the fuck do you ask something like that? Like, what makes you look at a picture of two people, one of whom nearly died and might never be okay again, and ask his buddy if he'll autograph it for you? Why the fuck would you ask, "Do you miss him?" How the fuck do I answer that? "Yeah, I guess?"

For a moment, reading that poem, I could imagine myself in a box like a Barbie doll, wired to a plastic card, with a plastic tray that kept me pinned down, in the right position in the display window. They always took so much patience, finding the invisible tape. I used to open my sister's for her because she got so impatient, she tried to wrench the whole package apart, so I took it away from her, felt for the edges of the tape, took the cardboard apart and untwisted the ties.

That night I looked up “Achilles” in the Apple audiobook store and bought a double volume of The Iliad and The Odyssey, and I fell asleep listening to the gods fighting over an apple.

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 229: Sunday August 16, 2020 - “Branch of Ancient Kings”

Some kind of ancestral bender sucked me in tonight as I decided to search into one of those unexplored lines, only to find a long line of kings reaching to year 006.   Funny to think of the day that started with no idea of the discovery laying ahead.  When I started this ancestral track 7 months ago, I hoped to learn more about my immediate ancestors, learn the 16 lines that led to me, and maybe confirm the connection to the unaccountable connection Ive long felt to the Scottish heritage.  Months later, I believed that I had tapped out on all there was to find in the Acton-Williams tree, until today, when I decided to do some deep diving over a hockey game, on my 10th great grandfather that I had read about having been buried in Westminister Abbey - “there must be more to that story” I thought....  8 hours later, it felt like my eyes were bleeding as I rebuilt it for a second time to be sure, after having followed it back to the year 006, in a line of 50+ kings, leaving me stunned, excited, and exhausted. Kings of Dal Raida, High Kings of Ireland, Princess of England?  What had I stumbled into?   Buried in that Graham line of my Great Grandma Near, a connection to the ancient kings of Scotland, Ireland and England. I called AC in the middle of the night to wake her with what I found (she was less enthusiastic than me).  In my digging of this connection to the Magna Carta, crept up a descendancy to William Dunkeld, The Lion, King of Scotland.  Of all the places to land, if any, into any royalty, in my ancestral digging.....unbelievable; the irony was not lost on me, without looking for it.   His war banner?  A red rampant lion, on a yellow field, a signal of Scottish fierceness that I flew proudly on the back of my Prius as I set out in 2014 in my Grand Ramble and only recently, peeled off cautiously to move to my Yeti to keep....  

What in the world???   I know, right? Wait wait wait.  Back up. What just happened.

After building the line all the way out to 006, I deleted it to build it again to be doubley sure.  This odd fascination Id always had towards Scottish bagpipes, red heads, and the feeling of being a part of some culture that included haggus....and wait, what?  Ancient Kings?  The Lion?  Magna Carta? and on? Its in my blood -- not tangentially but directly?

I got 3 hours of sleep this night.  and only 4 hours the next night. I became obsessed. I learned a ton.  66 Great Grandfathers take you back to the time of Christ.  Before tonight Id gotten back to the 1300s, and Id thought that was cool.  And then I linked into a time warp; of wars and conflicts, and arranged marriages, and great grandfathers nicknamed with the likes of Ironside, Un-Ready, and Mad-man, linking Scotland and England and back and forth.

An attractive 28th Great Grandmother was a Saint,(Margaret) who led me down a line of Kings of England to a sister of a Roman Emperor.  On and on and on it went, for a second night in a row.  The story of time in England and Scotland became the story of my ancestry and I couldnt hardly believe.  I learned of the Stone of Destiny, and found Fergus, the founder of modern Scotland, was led to believe that I was a direct descendant of that great story of life. It reminded me of that Edgar A. Guest poem my Grandma Acton read to me about how all the greatest have had, you have in you too.  I tempered the findings knowing that of course if we go far enough back we’re all going to link into something important or famous - survival of the fittest right?   But with all that being considered - the fact that in my wildest dreams, I would have never considered a finding to a direct hit into the ancient kings of Scotland, after long having this unexamined fascination with my Scottish heritage... not much else would have been as surprising or exciting, without even looking for it.  For days afterward,Id be filled with awe and trying to make quadrupley sure on all the connections..  It doesnt do anything to change or impact my own life, my story - though it does cement a sense of pride and belonging in life’s bigger story.  Does it get me any extra favor with Audrie? Probably not....  but it does fill me with excitement to pass on the story of this long lineage to whatever comes of our own Actingham line - of these two scotsman that wore their clan on their wedding day, walked down the aisle to bagpipes, over fork over, to find later that their kin would be the 26th great grandson of WIlliam The Lion, and the next in a long, stretched line of Scotsman, from a far.   Auld Lang syne - we raise a cup of kindness yet - to the giants we stand on.

Song: John Prine - I Remember Everything

Quote: “The timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness. And knows that yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream.” ― Khalil Gibran

[squadron-leader-farrier]

Let's spice things up a bit; ANSWER ALL OF THE QUESTIONS

oh baby, you answered m prayers lol this is gonna be long so buckle up ?

1. favourite place in your country? my hill station, because of the weather, and because i haven’t been to many places, and the ones that i have been to were extremely hot and i never want to go there again,

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad? depends on the holidays tbh. what the festivals the holidays fall near and that. i’d stay here for some, but for the ones that we don’t celebrate in my country like Halloween, i’d like to go abroad.

3. does your country have access to sea? peninsula, babey!

4. favourite dish specific for your country? chicken biryani. boy, oh boy, just thinking about it makes my mouth water. it’s that good. gosh, the flavour, the spice. the way they cook it,,,, the colours ahhhh

5. favourite song in your native language? ones made before the 60s. and the patriotic songs. there are too many to name, but two (non patriotic) ones are this and this (because they’re sad love songs and give me flyboys feels ya kno?)

6. most hated song in your native language? like, as a nation? idk. but personally, i hate, absolutely loathe any songs made after the 60s. they lack originality and creativity. all they did was rip off popular english songs, and changed the lyrics. that’s literally all they did. and they are super proud of it. i hate it. the music industry had gone to complete shit. even today they don’t know what good music is and ow to make it. they’re remixing all the old ones because they lack creativity. i hate it. 

7. three words from your native language that you like the most? i don’t like any three words, because they’re not that appealing on their own (not the ones i can think of right at this moment) but rather, phrases. when you string those words and make poetry or prose. it’s really beautiful, and really poetic. perhaps the best ones are in those two songs, and others like them.

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom? i haven’t been in a situation like that so i can’t say.

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best? probably Russia because the ones right next to me are exactly the same in topographical, cultural and architectural respects. there’s literally nothing new to see there, so i’d like to go to Russia.

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language? so it’s basically three: bhenchod/madarchod/chutiya. all of them mean motherfucker in their basic essence, but are used to describe people, cuss out people, call your pal, so basically, the hindi equivalent of fuck. can be used as adjectives, prepositions, verbs, nouns, whatnot. can be used individually or all together. perhaps splash one of them in a conversation to make the group giggle a bit more while telling a funny story. 

11. favourite native writer/poet? the ones who wrote nationalistic literature during the freedom struggle. so, to say, i like Sarojni Naidu, and Tagore. they’re perhaps the most famous ones of the time, and i like their work. 

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem? i don’t have any, because they’re already written in english by the authors. i read a poem or two lying around somewhere, but the thing about hindi is that the translations don’t bear the same feelings as the originals. 

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?  oh there are too many. too many by far. most of them are the usual black cat and others, oh, one i heard when i was in like 4th grade was that you shouldn’t go out with open wet hair at night because a spirit can get caught in em and come home with you. so that was strange. my family doesn’t have any, we’re rather realistic.

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV? no not in the least. you know why? because of this. i swear to fuck, the person who uploaded this compilation didn’t edit a single thing in. how do i know? because i’ve watched these on actual television. when i was young. in my neighbour’s tv. 

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get? remember when some of you motherfuckers got offended by bitch lasagna because you lack basic understanding what a fucking joke is? you don’t know what satire is? you are the reason why people think indians have no sense of humour because you DON’T it was a fucking JOKE holy shit i’m so triggered by this

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with? haven’t heard of many stereotypes about us, but the laziest one i can think of is that we can do math and are good at science. we’re not. i’m shit at all of that. so are my 34 other classmates. 

17. are you interested in your country’s history?  not really, tbh. maybe the period just before independence, and some post-independence stuff, because i got dirt on those politicians and i want more of that so that i have a reasonable justification for hating politicians.

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language? i don’t know, maybe i’m so used to it i don’t even realise lol. but i guess so.

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem? YES. YES. YES. i love them. i absolutely adore them. the flag is so symbolic and so beautiful i love her (orange on top for sacrifice, white in the middle for purity, green at the bottom for prosperity, the blue circle in the middle for resolution and justice, just ahhhh). the national anthem always gives me the chills. everytime i hear it playing somewhere, or when we sing it sometimes after assembly, or during days like today (independence day) or republic day, when we finish singing the last line it just always makes me a bit emotional and proud? yeah. today i almost started crying because i love it so much.

20. which sport is The Sport in your country? Cricket. even though the national sport is hockey. no one cares about hockey :(

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?  the memers who think they’re very funny, (which they are not in the least), and the anti nationalists and separatists. i do not want them here. get lost. fuck off. shooo.

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed? what makes me proud, is the freedom struggle of the revolutionaries, and the progress we’re making in every field, the hospitality of the people, and the unity in diversity. what makes me ashamed is that there’s still so much corruption in the government, can’t help it, the law’s delay, gosh the people who think they’’re better than everybody else, the entertainment industry, the music industry, some of the people, most of the politicians, etc.

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country? bold of you to assume we have a single favourite beverage for the entire country. i think it varies from state to state. for mine i think it may be something apple related, because we have lots of apples here. the season is also coming lol and also, it’s very confusing because some states have completely banned alcohol and in some the legal drinking age is 18. 

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country? canada and ‘murica mostly because so many people immigrate there 

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country? i’d like to be British, because  i like the aesthetic and weather. 

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal? i don’t watch many movies, but i think it’s not much/a small amount and neither do i mind nor do i care. 

27. favourite national celebrity? no one. i hate all of them.

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites? yep!! she’s not called a subcontinent for nothing, babey! i live near the Himalayas, so i like that.

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country? oooooh yes. ooooooooooh  boy. with Pakistan lol. mainly because of the union territory of jammu and kashmir. because pakistan wants it, we want it, and it legally also belongs to us. there’s separatists there, anti nationalists, and there’s poverty there, so it’s easy to instigate the people against the government. there were wars fought for it, most of them ended in our favour, but the other side is still making so many ceasefire violations, it is insane. it has been years, and every other day there’s a new violation. there’s lots of unrest in the valley, which is a shame, because it is a truly beautiful place. 

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family? my uncle is British, my cousin’s husband is also a Brit. a great-grand relative of mine was also British. there are none on my mother’s side.

[simmyfrobby]

Do you have any hockey poem recommendations ? Or if you take suggestions, a poem that reminds you of the Tyson Barrie trade

the Barrie trade before the cup really WAS gut wrenching so this is an excellent shout. i've only been reading Louise Glück all day, so the first poem that comes to mind is Odysseus’ Decision.

my favourite hockey poem of all time is not about hockey, it's about war. it kind of hits on the unfairness and awfulness of war (sports) but also lingers on the beauty of the Tragic Spectacle. it's pretty long so I'll post both below the cut.

Odysseus’ Decision

by Louise Glück

The great man turns his back on the island.

Now he will not die in paradise

nor hear again

the lutes of paradise among the olive trees,

by the clear pools under the cypresses. Time

begins now, in which he hears again

that pulse which is the narrative

sea, at dawn when its pull is strongest.

What has brought us here

will lead us away; our ship

sways in the tinted harbor water.

Now the spell is ended.

Give him back his life,

sea that can only move forward.    

War Is Kind [excerpt]

by Stephen Crane

Do not weep, maiden, for war is kind.

Because your lover threw wild hands toward the sky And the affrighted steed ran on alone,

Do not weep.

War is kind.

Hoarse, booming drums of the regiment

Little souls who thirst for fight,

These men were born to drill and die

The unexplained glory flies above them

Great is the battle-god, great, and his kingdom--

A field where a thousand corpses lie.

Do not weep, babe, for war is kind.

Because your father tumbled in the yellow trenches,

Raged at his breast, gulped and died,

Do not weep.

War is kind.

Swift, blazing flag of the regiment

Eagle with crest of red and gold,

These men were born to drill and die

Point for them the virtue of slaughter

Make plain to them the excellence of killing

And a field where a thousand corpses lie.

Mother whose heart hung humble as a button

On the bright splendid shroud of your son,

Do not weep.

War is kind.

[bbclesmis]

The Globe and Mail: Les Misérables is a deft, non-musical adaptation of the Victor Hugo classic, and an ideal alternative to Game of Thrones

If you’ve had it up to the eyeballs with the hype about the Game of Thrones final season (Sunday, HBO, 9 p.m.) you have my sympathy. Some of us feel we dare not go out in public without a prepared statement on Jon Snow, the Iron Throne and the weather in Westeros.

Still, not everyone is totally enthralled. This weekend will find a lot of people more enthralled by the final round of the Masters or, heaven help us, the hockey playoffs. And if your taste runs to epic drama about good and evil, with compelling characters and sumptuous visuals – and not Game of Thrones – have I got a good recommendation for you.

Les Misérables (Sunday, PBS, 9 p.m. on Masterpiece) is dragon-free drama, a heroic poem of a story about the have-nots and, let it be noted, also song-free. This is not the musical, nor is it the clumsy movie version featuring Russell Crowe and Anne Hathaway warbling away about love and dignity and stuff like that. It is a new six-part British dramatization of Victor Hugo’s original novel, deftly done by Andrew Davies.

There’s nothing shabby about this forceful series. It has a formidable visual sweep that starts with a stunning overhead shot of the aftermath of the Battle of Waterloo. All the dead, all the killing, and for what? The on-screen intro says this: “After 20 years of war, France is defeated and Napoleon is exiled. A new king is waiting to be crowned. The old order is to be restored. The revolution is to be forgotten.” Then we are thrust into the main characters and main ingredients of the story.

In Paris, one Monsieur Pontmercy, whom we’ve already met as a nice army officer at Waterloo (he helped a thief who will reappear later), is trying to make peace with his upper-class father-in-law, Gillenormand (David Bradley from Game of Thrones and every British drama of the past decade). He is loftily informed that Napoleon was a scoundrel and Pontmercy, who fought in Napoleon’s army, is a traitor to his class. Also, Pontmercy can’t see his son, of whom Gillenormand is now in charge. But, wait, a good-hearted maid tells the crushed Pontmercy how he can see his son at church on Sundays. Thus begins the drama’s main theme of goodness triumphing over hard-hearted pomposity and cruelty. It sounds like a complex plot, and yet it isn’t.

Meanwhile, our central anti-hero Jean Valjean (Dominic West doing a wickedly robust, stoic man of the people) is breaking rocks in prison. Because he stole a loaf of bread. And, back in Paris, naïve seamstress Fantine (Lily Collins) is being seduced by upper-class rogue Felix. He tells her he’s a poet and she will be his muse. But anyone can see what he’s after and where it will end. By Episode 2, Fantine is reduced to living a horrific life of poverty and regret. All this while Valjean makes his way across France, postprison and trying manfully to keep on the straight and narrow, but harbouring distaste for injustice, class snobbery and callousness. His journey is overshadowed by one Inspector Javert (David Oyelowo) who won’t rest until Valjean is back in prison.

Visually this Les Misérables is often breathtaking. Whether it is the grim back streets of Paris or the lush countryside, the sense of the country’s grand sweep is emphatic. It is not, mind, an emotionally complex story. Nor was it meant to be. It simply unfolds, scene after scene, as the main characters are drawn together into the group that will try to ensure that the ideals of the revolution are not, actually, forgotten.

When this version aired on the BBC in Britain recently, it brought forth some windy sneering from the right-wing press. It was called sentimental and overly melodramatic and, specifically, overly sentimental about the have-nots. That is in fact what makes it bracing drama for our time. Treat an entire class of people badly and they will revolt. There is no need to suspend disbelief for that theme. Oh, and Dominic West is simply magnificent as Valjean. As an alternative to Game of Thrones, Les Misérables is just ideal.

x

[dwarven-beard-spores]

I was tagged in this thing by @saltycontessa , and am finally getting around to it!

I’m supposed to tag ten people I want to know better: @holoxam @theundercovercanadian @lafbaeyette @incorrectwilburys @maniacalmole @bravinto​ @hmcbook​ @the-kitten-is-still-sinister​ @booksaresacredspew​ @herebehunters​ , if you wanna :) 

name: Kadet

star sign: Capricorn

height: 5′ 6″

what’s your middle name: Shhhh it’s a secret (I really like it tho)

put your itunes on shuffle. what are the first 4 songs that popped up?

90% of the stuff I’ve been listening to recently isn’t on my itunes, but what I got was: 

1. Make my Christmas Day -- Peter Mayer 2. Daydreamin’ -- Scooby Doo Snack Tracks 3. Overland -- I’m With Her 4. We Can Work It Out -- The Beatles

grab the book nearest you and turn to page 23. what’s line 17?

The book is Mostly Void, Partially Stars, line 17 is “or approached. Remember the slogan: No flag=goes in the bag. Red” 

have you ever had a poem or song written about you?

My brother writes humorous songs about literally everything, including me.

when was the last time you played air guitar?

Hmmmm, I’m more likely to belt out the lyrics or dance. I can’t remember.

who is your celebrity crush?

EDIT: I left saltycontessa’s answer in here before XP. Actual answer is..... well, right now, it’s back to being George Harrison. 

what’s a sound you hate + a sound you love?

I hate the sound of mechanical lawncare equipment, like lawn mowers and woodchippers and chainsaws. I love the sound of a tuning fork being struck on someone’s knee.

do you believe in ghosts?

Yes, but I don’t believe all ghost sightings are real.

how about aliens?

I sure do.

do you drive?

Nope, too gay for that (but I’m working on it).

if so, have you ever crashed?

N/A :D

what was the last book you read?

The Nerdy and the Dirty by b. t. gottffred, which I really really enjoyed. I read his newest book a few weeks before, and his first book is at the library for me to pick up soon!!

do you like the smell of gasoline?

No.

what was the last movie you saw?

Godzilla Final Wars, this evening. 

what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I tore my foot open in the car one time, on whatever sharp thing was under the driver’s seat, could be that. I’ve only been to the emergency room once, and that was for an illness thing when I was very smol. I’m most worried about injuring my hands by typing, carpal tunnel and such. 

do you have any obsessions right now?

Surprisingly enough, most of my energy these days is into mine and my friends’ d&d characters! They are so good :’)

But Howl’s Moving Castle is a constant, and Welcome To Night Vale is up there.

do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Not really. I am good at flipping situations around and figuring out why they might have done what they did, and letting it roll off. Certain things I won’t forgive, though, and certain people. Also I am much less forgiving for people who have done my friends wrong. *glares at that guy who was an asshole to my bf over air hockey during college orientation over four years ago*

in a relationship?

Yes! I have a boyfriend, Felix, and a girlfriend, @becomingdanni

[dillvne]

TASK 001.               DIVE INTO YOUR CHARACTER.

oi chuchus, tentei fazer um negócio diferente então acabei juntando algumas coisinhas que, na minha concepção, são bem interessantes. e que coletei durante as aventuras pela tag indie. espero que não tenha problema estar em inglês ! a tag para a postagem da task é task01.apocalypse e sintam-se livres para fazer edits, moodboard ou qualquer opções de aesthetic, ou nenhuma. o que acharem melhor. é isso, espero que gostem <3  

YOUR STEREOTYPICAL MASCULINE SIDE

NEGRITE o que se aplicar ao seu personagem.

you love hoodies.  you love shorts.   dogs are better than cats.  it’s hilarious when people get hurt.   shopping is torture.   sad movies suck.   you own a car racing game.   you played with hot wheels cars as a kid.   at some point in time you wanted to be a fire fighter.   you owned a ds, ps2, n64, or sega.  you used to be obsessed with power rangers.   you have watched sports on tv.   gory movies are cool.   you go to your dad for advice.   you own like a trillion baseball caps.   you used to collect hockey or baseball cards.   baggy sweats are cool to wear.   it’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.  green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favourite colours.  you love to go crazy and not care what people think.   sports are fun.  you talk with food in your mouth.   you sleep with your socks on at night.   you have fished at least once.

YOUR STEREOTYPICAL FEMININE SIDE

you love to shop.   you wear eyeliner.   you wear the color pink.   you go to your mom to talk.  you consider cheerleading a sport.   you hate wearing the color black.   you like going to the mall.  you like getting manicures and/or pedicures.   you like wearing jewelry.   you cried watching the notebook.   dresses are a big part of your wardrobe.   shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.  you don’t like the movie star wars.   you are/were in gymnastics.   it takes you around one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.   you smile a lot more than you should. you have more than 10 pairs of shoes.   you care about what you look like.  you like wearing dresses when you can. you like wearing high heel shoes.  you used to play with dolls as little kid.   you like putting make-up on others.  you like being the star of everything.

APPEARANCE

i am shorter than 5’5”. i have scars. i tan easily. i wish my hair was a different color.   i have friends who have never seen my natural hair color. i have a tattoo. i am self-conscious about my appearance. i’ve had/have braces. i’ve been told i’m attractive by a complete stranger. i have more than two piercings. i have/had piercings in places besides my ears.

EXPERIENCES

i’ve gotten lost in my city. i’ve seen a shooting star. i’ve wished on a shooting star. i’ve seen a meteor shower. i’ve gone out in public in my pajamas. i’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.i’ve kicked a guy where it hurts. i’ve been to a casino. i’ve been skydiving. i’ve gone skinny-dipping. i’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour. i’ve crashed a car. i’ve been skiing. i’ve been in a musical. i’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue. i’ve seen the northern lights. i’ve sat on a rooftop at night.  i’ve played a prank on someone.  i’ve ridden in a taxi. i’ve seen the rocky horror picture show. i’ve eaten sushi. i’ve been snowboarding.

HONESTY/CRIME

i’ve done something i promised someone else i wouldn’t. i’ve done something i promised myself i wouldn’t. i’ve snuck out. i’ve lied to my parents about where i am. i’ve cheated while playing a game. i’ve ran a red light. i’ve witnessed a crime. i’ve been in a fist fight. i’ve been arrested.

DEATH AND SUICIDE

i’m afraid of dying. i hate funerals. i’ve seen someone/something dying. someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide. i’ve written a eulogy for myself.

RANDOM

i can sing well. stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. i open up to others easily. i watch the news. i don’t kill bugs. i sing in the shower. i am a morning person. i paid for a cell phone ring tone. i am a sports fanatic. i twirl my hair. i care about grammar. i have “?”’s in my screen name. i’ve copied more than 30 cds in a day. i bake well. my favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange. i would wear pajamas to school. i like martha stewart. i know how to shoot a gun. i laugh at my own jokes. i eat fast food weekly. i’ve not turned anything in and still got an a in a certain class. i can’t sleep if there is a spider/cockroach in the room. i am ticklish. i love white chocolate. i bite my nails. i’m good at remembering faces.i’m good at remembering names. i’m good at remembering dates. i honestly have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.

RUSSIAN CLASSICS AESTHETICS.

NEGRITE o que atrair / se aplicar ao seu personagem.

BROTHERS KARAMAZOV   :   orthodox monasteries   ,   deep woods  ,  starry nights ,   the sound of paper being torn   ,   dimly lit rooms ,   withered roses   ,  an unfinished letter  ,  piles of books   ,   the sound of shattering glass  ,  ticking of clocks in a silent house   ,   heavy wooden furniture  ,   the air before a storm   ,   the smell of earth   ,   a crowd of people dressed in black   ,  distant murmurs   ,  emptied streets  ,   the fear of walking alone in dusk.

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT   :   coldness of the skin against a blade   ,   slender pale fingers   &   slightly shaking hands   ,   a red stain blooming on white fabric   ,  lonely steps in a corridor   ,  the slow dripping of water   ,   looking out of the window into the thickening darkness   ,   a single dying candle on the table   ,   listening to one’s breath   &   counting heartbeats  ,  too many stairs   ,   the desire to be invisible   ,   a subtle memory of kind word.

THE IDIOT   :   classical statues   ,   wealth covered with dust   ,   a dark house tainted with inherited madness   ,  an unsettling feeling ,   long walks in a park   ,   useless chatter   ,   a silken ribbon forgotten on a bench   ,   a melancholic face   ,   an unexpected spring rain   ,   the joy of reading one’s favorite book  ,  the clarity of mind after fully perceiving the world around   ,  looking at cloudless sky.

ANNA KARENINA :      fields of crops  ,   flowers brought from an early morning walk   ,  the wind caressing a girl’s hair   ,   a bowl of fruit  ,   the smell of ripe pears   ,   the clatter of a spoon against porcelain when stirring tea   ,   children’s laughter coming from the garden   ,   soft sunlight   &   white curtains  ,   the sensation of velvet against skin ,  pearls from a ripped necklace spilling on marble floor   ,  a sudden silence in a room full of people.

WAR AND PEACE   :   a glass of wine  ,   the brightness of  a crystal chandelier  ,  white lace   , a raging snow storm   ,  the sound of a door being gently closed ,   the moment of holding one’s breath before walking in a ball room   ,   indulging in looking at a beautiful earring against light   ,  closing one’s eyes for a moment while dancing   ,   the sweet smell of strawberries   ,  a pair of gloves left on an armchair ,   light scent of powder.

THE MASTER AND MARGARITA   :    the chaos of a lively city ,   ambient jazz in expensive restaurants   ,   jumping on a moving tram ,    the sight of moscow from the roof of a house   , yellow flowers in a vase  ,  leaning out of the window  ,  shelves stacked with books   , a small tin box with old photographs   ,  strange shapes in the night sky   , laughing in the middle of the night on a balcony   ,   colorful posters for a surreptitious magician’s show floating in the wind.

EUGENE ONEGIN   :    a lonely mansion   ,   reading a book in the parlor   ,  faint piano melody lingering in falling silence  ,   long evenings   ,   passing seasons   ,   discussing french novels of the moment   ,  unspoken thoughts   ,   leaning against the door frame  , quickly averted glance  ,  eating a peach absent-minded   ,  bright mornings   , footprints in snow   ,  a loud gun-shot terrifying a flock of birds nearby.

FATHERS AND SONS   :   birch groves   , morning mist   ,  moss-covered stones near a moor   ,   scientific books   ,   white roses   ,   cheap champagne   ,   shabby pocket-watch  ,   light-hearted irony   ,   a maladroit cello sonata   ,    freshly mowed grass   , leaving thoughts come   &   go   ,  a slow yawn  ,   picturesque plates   &   bowls filled with traditional dishes   ,  drinking tea on the porch.

DOCTOR ZHIVAGO   :   a strange feeling of loss ,  writing poems in a diary , traveling by train   ,   the hesitation before touching someone’s hand   ,   the gaze of one lost in thought  , the warmth of cinnamon   ,   a scarf brightly embellished with flowers   ,  a glass of water   ,    a threadbare jacket  ,   the tempting void   ,  the evanescent serenity of yesterday.

CHERRY ORCHARD   :   a lone chair in an empty room  , falling blossoms   ,   old samovar   ,   the unsettling need for change  ,   a mirror reflecting full moon   ,  the disappointment of a glossy object turning worthless after second glance   ,   a piano out of tune.

[chef-debrusk]

All the questions with number 9? Feel free to skip stuff if it's too much!

**sorry this post got to be very long but thank you so much it kept my occupied on my drive 😊😊** 9. Ever had a poem or song written about you?Not that i know of but man i hope someone secretly has haha19. What does your URL mean?Well it’s chef debrusk and it’s in reference to when Jake debrusk becomes a chef and shows kids how to make random ass things aka the best thing you will ever see29. Do you believe in ghosts? What about aliens?Ghosts 1000000% exist and no one can tell me other ways, and i haven’t really thought about aliens tbh they just don’t spark my interest that much 🤷‍♀️39. What time is it?Currently it is 11:14 AM as i am writing these but I️m posting it later so idk what time it’ll be then (Update as I️m posting this is it 6:05 PM)49. Ever had a rumor spread about you?OHHHH YEAH....in middle school a girl got mad that the guy she liked talked to me more (we were literally just friends but whatever) and so she then told people that him and i sent nudes to each other then told him that I was the one who stared the rumor.....gotta love that middle school drama man59. Where were you yesterday? The zoo in Washington DC, then on the national mall to watch the fireworks69. Be honest. ever gotten yourself off?(as you can tell i am a pretty open book) I mean like once or twice79. What is the single best decision you made in your life so far?This ones a little difficult because i have two....first was my decision to start cheerleading...i met so many great people like my best friends through it and it really was a huge part in my life it taught me so much and it was a lot of fun! My second, oddly enough, was my decision to quit cheerleading....i just needed to stop all my teams had been getting worse and worse (this past season we got last at every competition) and i was afraid I’d blow out a knee since i have really bad knee issues, i also final am getting to live my life as a 17 year old with her friends! So i guess both of them!89. What would be a question opus be afraid to tell the truth on?As horrible as this is going to sound....if one of my cheer friends asked me if i had ever thought of or dreamt about their boyfriend...it was only like once but it happened and i felt so uncomfy and awkward about it 😬😬99. If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?I would WANT and PLAN to tell them all that as many times as it’s been said before we are all people. No matter who or what you are, and we all deserve the same! all the fighting, and war, and other issues ( i don’t know how to phrase the shit in America so it goes here) will not matter when we all end up in the same place...six feet under...as morbid as it sounds it’s the truth. so why don’t we all just take our time on this earth to just accept one another. And im just saying accept you don’t even have to like the person....as long as your reasoning for not liking them isn’t that they’re different because that is not acceptance (i hope this is making sense it probably isn’t). We need to just accept one another see our differences, see our similarities, and just move on and enjoy our lives living them as full as we can! BUUUT i get nervous so i would probably end up yelling “oh fuck” or something about hockey 🤷‍♀️

[youcouldmakealife]

OKAY I HAVE PLOWED THROUGH CRUSH AND WAR OF THE FOXES (between Harry and hockey) HAVE SOME SIKEN.

Robbie: All of The Torn-Up Road, but especially:

2.

I want to tell you this story without having to confess anything, without having to say that I ran out into the street to prove something, that he didn’t love me, that I wanted to be thrown over, possessed. I want to tell you this story without having to be in it; Max in the wrong clothes. Max at the party, drunk again. Max in the kitchen, in refrigerator light, his hands around the neck of a beer. Tell me we’re dead and I’ll love you even more. I’m surprised I say it with feeling. There’s a thing in my stomach about this. A simple thing. The last rung.

4. 

I want to tell you this story without having to say that I ran out into the street to prove something, that he chased after me and threw me into the gravel. And he knew it wasn’t going to be okay, and he told me it wasn’t going to be okay. And he wouldn’t kiss me, but he covered my body with his body and held me down until I promised not to run back out into the street again.

also

He knows when you snap a mast it’s time to get  a set of oars or learn how to breathe underwater. Rely  on one thing too long and when it disappears and you have nothing — well, that’s just bad planning.  It’s embarrassing, to think it could never happen. It happens.

and

…He wants to be tender and merciful. That sounds overly valorous. Sounds like penance. And his hands? His hands keep turning into birds and flying away from him. Him being you. Yes. Do you love yourself? I don’t have to answer that. It should matter. He has a body but it doesn’t matter, clean sheets on the bed but it doesn’t matter. This is where he trots out his sadness. Little black cloud, little black umbrella.

Luke:

What can you learn from your opponent? More than you think. Who will master this love? Love might be the wrong word.

Let’s admit, without apology, what we do to each other.

Robbie (or Luke tbh — they share some)

…Something’s not right about what I’m doing but I’m still doing it — living in the worst parts, ruining myself. My inner life is a sheet of black glass. If I fell through the floor I would keep falling. The enormity of my desire disgusts me.

Georgie and Jules (all my sad boys are perfect for Siken)

Let me tell you a story about war. A man says to another man, Can I tell you something? The other man says, No. A man says to another man, There is something I have to tell you. No, says the other man. No, you don’t.

Liam (I’m sorry)

Just. This entire poem.

[jungsungchans]

they are so strangely charming sddsdsdd the things they do on insta..... 😳 admittedly idk what a marb is i'm sorry 😔😔 he's so weird tho and yet somehow everything he does is endearing??😭 yes a revecarablinkzen!! great name💖 ahh i love mingyu he's so funny n cute!! and minghao's style... absolutely insane💗💗💗 omg itaewon gate was truly smth else💀 -❄ (1/3)

YES that was the candymakers!!! tbh i barely remember the book i had to google it lol but yes that's the one! oh i haven't read any of jorge luis borge's work but i'll check it out thank u for recommending it to me!! and tbh i get it haha i don't have much motivation to read books nowadays :// i did like all the light we cannot see.... but i read that back in 8th grade whoops i also think the great gatsby is so well-written but f. scott fitzgerald was NOT a great person 😕 -❄ (2/3)

i was into poetry recently tho.... i really love le lac by alphonse de lamartine!! do u like poetry? or what else do u like to do in ur free time? (besides making amazing gifs ofc!! i can't believe i haven't mentioned this before but your gifs are stunning!!!💖💖) btw i'm so sorry for the late reply, i hope you're doing well!! -❄(3/3)

god their insta shenanigans 😭 ive seen their old lysn screenshots they r so funny it physically pains me. by Mark Barb i mean like a barb but for mark—idk if uve ever come across them but the barbz are nicki minaj’s fanbase. im not a proper barb bc im critical of her for obvious reasons but the barbz are maybe the funniest fanbase of all time the barbzstruggle twitter brings me joy sometimes....but the point is that i love mark a lot i think hes fucking fantastic <3 mingyu is soooo great i like him a lot i can really see why he n jaehyun were in a gc together 😭 they both r massive dorks...and back when i was into kpop and minghao was my bias he still had that poodle hair (mansae era ish) so seeing him when i got back into the grind was 🥴🥴🥴 to say the least! i love him and his closet id raid it if i were tall enough lol and im gonna r0b his shoe collection anyways. itwgate changed my brain chemistry btw ☝🏽

😭 i only remember it cause i used to read every book i remotely liked about six or seven times...not like consecutively but when i ran out of new things to read id cycle between older stuff. did u ever read the candy shop war? that was my favorite candy-adjacent kids novel lol. tbh jlg’s stuff is really easy to get into bc a lot of his work is super super short id highly recommend it if ur trying to get back into reading (he writes poetry too!)! ive been really bad about reading well recently too...i liked the great gatsby but i read this side of paradise and that was super disappointing lol. i didnt know he was like. an awful person but i kind of figured given his time period ig? while theres a real imperative to not just blindly say “separate the art from the artist” because that allows one to ignore, internalize, and platform racism, misogyny, anti-semitism, and other forms of bigotry (cf jk rowling) i try to read just about everything i read critically, because no matter how any author presents themselves i feel like theyre just as likely to be a bad person as any other artist or celebrity—actors, musicians, etc.

i used to be more into poetry but i havent picked up too much in a while </3 we had a poetry unit in ap lit during quarantine that was kind of not fun and so i was like🧍🏽‍♂️lol. i’ll definitely check out that poem though, i enjoy the stuff and itll be good to get back into it! for fun i like sports—i watch hockey, my main blog, @henderyhuangs, used to be a hockey blog lol. seasons starting up soon so im looking forward to that. i like basketball and reading too. thank u for thinking my gifs r ok 🥺 thats very nice of u to say 😭 todays been very all over the place haha but i hope uve been safe and well. and take ur time w sending these, just do em whenever u want im not picky haha. ik i just wrote you a whole essay, its probably not ideal to have 2 go thru this long ass message and try to respond 😭 so i totally understand. hope you’re well too! take care.