#all that iv'e thought about all day

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

OK so trying to articulate pt. 2 what's been sitting with me re: You're Losing Me especially in light of the track list dropping:

When You're Losing Me came out, I got the feeling that "I wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her," came from a place not of desperation/resignation, but spite, at least the portion I bolded. In that, to me it sounded like the words once lobbed at her being spat back at the person who first uttered them -- even if only in her mind. There's an anger an intensity when she sings that part (in contrast to the "see her" part), especially as it comes to the peak of the bridge.

With the information that's slowly trickling out, from the way puzzle pieces are starting to fit together with the background, the references to works of art like The Little Mermaid, Clara Bow, even perhaps Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, etc., I'm feeling more and more confident that that's likely the case. If we're taking into consideration context clues from these like the idea of having to give up what makes you sing (metaphorically and literally) to attain the life you think you want, to keep the love you think you've earned, to let bitterness fester and eat the relationship from within, there's an undercurrent of resentment in those lines about the things that make one person soar and the other recoil.

If I were to make an educated guess about these circumstances, I would think the line isn't about marriage writ large, it's about someone who is fuelled by desires -- in this case, to live out in the open, to embrace her world, to drop the shroud from her shoulders ---- and having those desires shunned by a partner who sees that external validation as debasing. A mirrorball to the whims of the public, as it were. But she is saying, this is who I am and this is what I want, and want you to love me not in spite of these but because of these. It's like she's saying, I wouldn't marry the version of me you think I am (that you disdain). She's trying to say, all these things you don't like about me and my life are what make me me.

In other words, it sounds like the realization that the person who is supposed to be your greatest champion thinks of you completely differently (and unkindly) from the person you are. And perhaps the crux of it is, what am I willing to give up to be the version of me this person wants? How many inches must I give before the miles they take become a runway?

In retrospect, the "Me" she wants him to choose at the end of the song may not just be an imploring to make a commitment full stop, but choosing the person she is vs. the person he thinks he wants, because she's sick of twisting herself into knots trying to cater to him when the goalposts keep moving. Their love comes at a cost to both, and it's one that may erase everything she holds dear.

We're in for a wild ride in April.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Badly carved an eye into an avocado pit with a nail cuticle tool thing. trying to think of better designs to carve into avocado pits. I don't really have the right tools, maybe should order some carving tools. I hate buying things online eeeeee..

Worked on translating a poem into Avirrekava (my constructed language for one of my fantasy species) so I can paint it onto a tapestry sort of thing I'm making, kind of in the style of medieval illuminated manuscripts? I do not have paintbrushes small enough.

Spent a lot of time thinking more about the story with an investigator tracking a doctor who's doing strange experiments and they eventually become friends(ish) after trying to kill each other a few times, lol (set in my fantasy world though, so magic is involved, etc. It's just interesting to think about testing the limitations of magic and what type of experimentation people would do, especially if you own a hospital or morgue or other scenario where you have access to bodies, or good cover for hiding them, etc. Plus worldbuilding religions in the world, what their ideas of morality would be, what an "investigator" or police force would even look like in that setting, etc. Two jhevona main characters in a city full of elves and the in-world politics of that, class war and royals, pretentious scholar communities and how they'd operate, actual magic combat between two advanced magic users and what that would look like (mixing illusions or higher level spells with minor brute force tactics, evasion, enchantments, shapeshifting, etc.) etc. etc. ).

Organized some of my plants, but still need to replant some fully. Succulents grow SO fast, I think I'll run out of room. Also one has burnt to a crisp during the heat wave last week.. my son.. ToT.

Edited a few costume photos then gave up because my camera is evil and I always have that thing where it looks really cool in the mirror but then the final photos suck, which demotivates me to even do anything with them/feels like a waste.

Still chronic health issue sick stinky as usual, plus it's still warm inside from the heat a few days ago so being hot makes joint pain worse... evil.. no energy. fell asleep on the floor for like 30 minutes.

Tried a new oreo flavor and ranked it on my comprehensive oreo ranking list. Mediocre as usual, but I'm too far in to give up now gghj.. I have to just try them all. A fool's labor.

Notable sights: found one 6 leaf clover, two 5 leaf clovers, and eleven 4 leaf clovers. Saw a rabbit, 3 cats in windows, and 4 ducks. Also at some point I was squishing gum in my hand and pulling it apart and when stretched out it would make these really cool spindly spider web patterns. The sky later in the day was hazy pink, purple, and blue pastel sunset.

Goals moving forward: Wake up on time even if I feel sick when I wake up!!! Focus on more immediate projects, don't get distracted. Actually make room for investing in social time and replying to people even with minimal energy reserves. Stay consistent with physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, email doctors, edit pictures, post the poll adventure thing that has been sitting in a draft for weeks.

Notable foods: None today, but I have asparagus for later which is exciting... my new favorite vegetable whilst on the stinky Nutritionist Prescribed Special Limited Diet

[arcvlies]

''well.. didn't know you were home.. now.''

cw: saturo gojo x reader. perverted gojo, pet names, masturbation, prasising, degradation, raw sex, creampie, mating press, daddy kink, mention on wanting discipline.

pent up! gojo who can't contain his lust once he comes home from his daily run. because he sees framed photo of you on the tv stand. gojo quickly made his way upstairs to your shared bedroom palming his cock that was begging to be taken out of his tight sweatpants.

he's been denying having sex with you because of his own protests about seeing how long he can go without having sex. before this you and gojo had intercourse anytime you both had nothing to do, which was nearly always. but, he couldn't take it any longer. it was only two days since he began his protests.

gojo's head was fogged with sexual images of you bent over the bed, on your knees in front of him, and whatever else his dirty mind could've thought of. he couldn't take it anymore. he would do this secretly and act like he was a big champ.

his cock was straining against his sweatpants before he pulled out his long veiny cock. he threw himself against the bed, his tip is slightly red, his veins pulsing in his cock as he pumped it.

his face now pink and his teeth tearing into his lip, pumping his cock faster imaging it was your pussy clentching around him. his chest rising up and down with every quick pump of his flushed cock. a whisper of curses is slipped out of his pretty mouth, throwing his head back against the newly covered pillows.

gojo looked down, letting go of his cock, letting spit dribble onto his hand before going right back to massage it in. he can’t help but feel like a filthy pervert thinking of you this way. ''oh please baby..'' he groaned lettin his mouth fall open. gojo was so so so close to cumming on himself.

''sat?'' you called out leaning against the bathroom doorway. you had always been there, just showering until then. all you were in was a small white towel that was wrapped around your abdomen up to your chest. your thigh was crossed over the other as you looked him in his diamond blue eyes.

gojo quickly stopped, body still as his wide eyes land on your figure standing in the bathroom. ''baby- haha,'' he nervously laughed unfreezing. ''oh, didn't know you were.. home.. now.'' he added his gaze adverting from yours. ''need some help?''

“gojo!...” you moaned out, feeling your hole stretch as gojo's tip entered you. “damnit…your tighter than before..” he bit into his blood red lip, pushing further, feeling your walls wrap around his pulsing cock. “good- damnit.. lookin' so gorgeous like this..” he leans down, burying his face into the creak of your neck. you run your hands through his messy white hair, brushing the hair strands off of his face.

“iv'e.. i've wanted,” he mumbled, “to fuck you all wee- fuck...” he chuckled. “i'm such a fucking idiot.. next time i do something stupid, disciple me..” he bit into your neck. “yes- daddy.” you let a light moan slip out of your wide open mouth, his quick strokes making your cunt twitch.

his hands glided all over your body, tracing your spine as he thrusts, making your arch your back. “you're so big.” your moan turned into a chuckle as you cup his cheek, he presses your hand futher into his face.

he found that spot that makes your mind all hazy, his hips thrusting in a quick pace. “that's it…take this dick, slut..” he fucked a bit harder with a large smile on his face. the face you had on currently hasn't been seen by anybody else before. .

“just like that baby, fuck–” you cried out, his relentless pounding sending shocks throughout your body from your toes up to your head. your abdomen started to tingle, feeling your stomach untie.

“yeah, like that, yeah?” he had a smug expression on his face, watching your legs shake. “go on, scream my name baby..” he rasped, “gojo! fuck!” you clawed into his back.

he pulled his head away from the creak of his neck, attacking your face with sloppy kisses. your lipstick was all smeared on your face and his. “c-cumming!” you squealed and he groans, pulling out and resting his heavy cock on your abdomen.

you looked, seeing his tip exposed, leaking a trail of pre cum all over your abdomen. “come on gojo, i have plan bs in my drawer.” you complained, your legs wrapping around his torso. “should've said that way earlier.” he groaned, going back into your sopping cunt once more.

“good girl.” he hissed. you could feel every thick vein rubbing against your walls, you were still sensitive, very overstimulated. you clenched around his thick cock, feeling another orgasm quickly building up. “p-please gojo!” you whimpered, your walls gripping and sucking him tightly, his grip made you whine, he pulls your hips closer to him.

“god..f-fuck..you like this spot?” he chuckled, grabbing your thighs, pushing your knees to your chest. “shit.. gonna cum-” you moaned. his thrusts sloppy, reaching deep inside. “oh my god! gojo faster like that!- i want that load deep inside me.” you cried out.

“i know.”

[thedomesticanthropologist]

Do you have any thoughts on Astarion and Halsin going from like, metamours who aren’t especially close to lovers because I think there is a lot of potential for something really sweet there lol idk

I read, and am just realizing did the worst thing by closing the tab before kudos and commenting, and INCREDIBLE smutty, smutty fanfic about the very moment this begins happening for Astarion and Halsin.Its by @vixstarria and Vix, please do feel free to link it here, Iv'e lost it heh. It has a named Drow fem Tav in the middle of a very delightful and explicit Halsin/Astarion sandwich.

That being said, here are my thoughts!

Astarion states that he is okay with Halsin because the druid is special. How so? Well, Wood Elves are polyamorous by nature and Astarion seems well aware of how they function, and knows that Halsin has 350 years of experience with consent and communication. So they start off on a very... almost professionally amiable standing with one another. Its very obvious that they havent gotten to know each other well or bonded at all by the time that Tav begins the Hinge dynamic, but they they very soon begin to be in each others space simply via both wanting to be near/with Tav.

Halsin is intuitive, smart, careful, considerate, compassionate. At first, Astarion is going to find this annoying to an eye rolling degree. However, he would be surprised that all of his teasing is met with eye-twinkling humor from Halsin

Any harsh remarks roll off the druid like water on a ducks back, and Astarion finds himself effectively de-fanged (at least verbally) in fairly short order. He also fails at any attempt to remove /himself/ in sassy ways, as Halsin pre-empts any outburst and bows out of situations in favor of letting Astarion in.

With nothing to rail against, Astarion is given the space to simply adjust. In canon, he states that he enjoys watching the PC and Halsin kiss, referring to it as a show. Eventually, I believe Halsin would ask /Tav/ about broaching the subject of including Astarion in their bedroom dynamics.

Said bedroom dynamics would begin completely separate. When tav is with Halsin, Astarion makes himself scarce. Same vice versa. This cannot go on forever, nor does Tav want it to. It is Tav, most likely, that shows some distress or discomfort about Halsin and Astarions dynamic, probably wanting to bed share, cuddle puddle, etc.

Halsin is the one to bridge the gap. He uses animal form to do so, removing any sexual undertones from the situation by wild shaping and placing himself respectfully on one side of Tav. It may be many weeks of this, but Astarion, Tav, and Halsin would begin to bed share in this manner.

during the day, Tav begins to share more overt physical affection with Halsin and Astarion while they are in each others company, and tries to leave Halsin and Astarion alone together more often as well. Halsin would make himself very physically available- oppen posture, standing close, warm eyes. He had always said "and some day, his participation", which mans he was always interested in including Astarion should the vampire wish it.

He would offer his blood to Astarion well before they share any sort of intimacy together. I believe Astarion would dance around the topic for a little while, but not long. The intimacy of being in Halsins lap would give them both the opportunity to figure out if theres a spark of compatibility between them, but it wouldnt become sexual.

One day, Tav initiates kisses/sensual touching with Astarion while Halsin is wild-shaped and in bed with them. Astarion would comment on it, Halsin would likely make an overt display of calm detachment. Hes going to be there unless asked to leave, but Tav wants him to stay, and Astarion allows it.

Halsin is internally screaming and very horny about it, but manages to stay still because he knows this is a tenuous situation.

Astarion ALWAYS acts like its not a big deal. Its Tav and Halsin that are more careful

I firmly believe their first kiss would be Halsin very "embarassingly" (in astarions opinion) asking directly for one. "May I kiss you?" this would be /after/ Astarion has boned Tav in front of him, or at least been fairly intimate. Astarion would also probably directly ask to watch Halsin and Tav together before this as well

Honestly... I think they would be alone when Halsin asks. I think he would express direct interest in turning it into a triangle and not a hinge, I think he would be very clear and soft and careful and Astarion would roll his eyes but the kiss would be... chaste. slow, soft. No wandering hands on Halsins part. Astarion breaks the intimacy by grabbing two fist fulls of his ass and squeezing.

I think it would take a lot longer than people may assume, it would be very gentle and sweet and require a lot of pre-navigation, but I do believe that should the Halsin/Tav/Astarion hinge continue post game, they would become a triad.

[adhd-joe]

Blurting out my thoughts

Iv'e Been Thinking of making a Comic Book called Batman: Smile, I think I got the story and songs I want to put in.

Plot:

Years after the events of my Creepypasta, Bruce (AKA Batman) is now 20 and still is in a Relationship with Selina (Catwoman) and one day he is watching the News and it reports that dead bodies were found in a circus then his radio starts playing and hears his ex friend Jack (later called The Joker) saying muffled that Bruce is the next target. Bruce has a flashback of him as Batman seeing a clown on a rooftop holding balloons. He puts 2 and 2 together thinking Jack escaped. This gives Bruce anxiety so he desides to just rest and watch the news, but the news is interrupted by Edward Nygma (The Riddler) who hacked all Gotham devices while fighting with Jack on all devices, where Jack argues on the Radio (The Song Stayed Gone)

That night Bruce and Selina find out that another Arkham Patent (Harley Quinn) escaped too. Bruce and Selina find Harley in an empty ware house and they fight Harley (The Song Other Friends) But Harley gets away.

The follow Harley and find her at a show at the theater. She is back stage and on the stage is a man wearing a mask, a suit and a top hat, the man sings (The song Insane) and half way through the song the man takes off the mask and is revealed to be Jack, Harley starts shooting people, Batman and Catwoman are to late. But they start fighting (The song Hell is Forever) In the end Jack and Harley are defeated and go back to Arkham.

The story ends with Jack in his cell who say "Do not worry Bruce Old Pal I din't forget about you.....for now stay tuned..........HAHAHA."

THE END

Here are my credits for the Songs

Stayed Gone from Hazbin Hotel

Other Friends from The Steven Universe Movie

Insane by Baasik and Black Gryph0n

Hell is Forever from Hazbin Hotel

There will be lyrics changes to fit in with the story

[estella2707]

Impossible Standards

Chapter 4

Anthony Bridgerton x Reader

Note: This chapter is mainly gonna be from your point of view, providing more background about your character and insight into her emotions and how she thinks. I will be picking back off with the original story plot next chapter, I hope you all still enjoy this!

It had been a few days after You and Anthony's argument at the Queen's ball, you were lying on your bed in one of the many rooms in the Queens Palace. The Queen was fairly nice to you but was usually off taking care of her duties and rumor has it was on the hunt for someone called Lady Whistledown? Ever since that night with Anthony, there were so many thoughts running through your mind. Why was he so annoying? Why was I so cold? Was he teasing me on purpose? Did he really mean what he said about him being there for me? I sigh as a million thoughts race through my head. No man has ever challenged me like this before...he was over confident and a player but he also had a soft spot and unlike all the stuck up people and royals iv'e met so far in my life, he can actually joke around and not be so serious...Gosh you l-hate him.

You didn't know what it was like to be in love...it was something you only ever read about in books. The man and the woman fall in love and go through trial and tribulations as they fight through all of it to get back to one another. You were told the same stupid saying all your life "Love Conquers All" You believed it for a while...be you were always a bit naive. How could love conquer all if your mother who was the best queen Spain had ever known and the most sweetest and kindest soul have fallen for a man like your father? The cold cruel king who didn't even attend her fucking funeral?! The same man that admittedly sent you off here to find a suitor and who didn't care about anyone but HIMSELF?!

Growing up with a man like that certainly alters your view of love and what it looks like, of course you've had suitors come breaking down your doors bringing you flowers and gifts constantly trying to get your hand in marriage but not because they like you but because they want your title, but you don't want that! You were a strong and independent woman you didn't need some stupid man to make you feel whole....even though there was that stupid little part of you deep down that craved it...something new....something passionate...

You want something real.

Something messy and beautiful.....surreal and challenging....something no, someone who makes your heart stop and makes you question everything you've ever known...someone who wants to explore the world with you! Your world....someone to dance in the rain with and read with and to laugh and cry and scream at and fight with and to kiss....touch...hold...feel...to-to

...

But how could someone ever love you? Your so broken.... You aren't lady like, your loud and annoying....and jealous and petty...improper and impatient and just...so....so broken.

But maybe there is hope...a small flicker of it but you just have to be ready to take the first step.

You sigh as you glance over at the phone on your dresser. You take a deep breath as you sit up in bed and wipe away the tears forming in your eyes as you slowly dial a number.

...

"Hello is this the Bridgerton residence?" "Can you please tell Anthony that y/n would like to have a word with him?"

[popculturebuffet]

Monthly Muppets Madness: The Land of Gorch (Comissioned by WeirdKev27)

It's Monthly Muppet Madness with our special review topic, The Land of Gorch, yayyyyyyy! Courtsey of viewers like you and WeirdKev27.

I give Kev full credit for the idea of this one: after my previous looks at the muppets earliest days, Kev was curious about this odd chapter in their history and having wanted to watch these shorts at some point anyway, I was more than happy to oblige.

For those less familiar, the Land of Gorch was a recurring sketch on Saturday Night LIve during it's first season, just before the Muppet Show's own first season. Yes folks the muppets were live from new york every saturday night for most of it's first season but a combination of the muppet show finally taking off and the writers actively resenting the Land of Gorch's very existance sunk it. So what was this weird experiment and how did it become a milestone in muppet history but a footnote in snls? Join me under the cut to find out!

From the Bubbling Tarpits to the Sulfurous Wasteland…

Henson came to SNL from a place of desperation. What jim had feared from doing Seasame Street was coming true as most in hollywood had no intrest in a show for kids AND adults from the muppets and wrote him off as "kids stuff"

Thankfully Jim had backup from Bernie Brillstien, his agent who looked for more adult venues.. and Bernie just happened to also be the agent for one Lorne MIcheals , as well as Chevy Chase, John Belushi and Gilda Radner, and loving the idea of performing to an adult audience and the chance to shake the Seasame Stigma, Henson jumped to it, getting Frank Oz and Micheal K Frith's help crafting the characters. And Lorne Micheals genuinely loved the idea and was convinced it'd be a massive hit, as he should be: the set design was marvelous, creating a horrifying otherworldly swamp and the muppets were awesomely detailed.

So with all that going for it, what went wrong? Why aren't we seeing a land of Gorch Series on peacock or convention halls filled iwth gorchheads? Simple: the writing. See Jim wasn't ALLOWED to actually write the sketches, as WGA rules meant the SNL staff had to. And their response?

The SNL staff were in clinical terms, snotty little dicks about having to write for the muppets, drawing straws for the job and with Writer MIcheal O'Donahuge being paticuarly childish saying "I don't write for felt" and calling them "Mucking fuppets" and "hairy facecloths" in an interview. Or to sum it up in a line

It was that 'i'm an adult" sensiblity that was at the heart of the conflict: you had in one corner a bunch of 20 year olds who, having read the book Live From New York it's Saturday Night, I can confirm were powered by cocaine to get through the crazy deadlines (somethign that thankfully stopped after the tragedy of JOhn Belushi), and were likely focused on trying to be the most clever and a bunch of more settled middle aged men (jim had FIVE kids by then. Holy shit), who knew what they wanted but couldn't actually execute it. It likely didn't help Jim was exact about what scripts he wanted and thus struggled to find a writer who actually gave a damn. Neither side was bad at what they did, iv'e seen a few early snl sketches, it's not bad stuff and the muppets speak for themselves.. it's just they didn't mesh creatively AT ALL. You can't make good work forcing someone to do something they don't want to do. It's why while i'll review just about anything on comission I will talk to my clients if I feel I just can't give a good review of something. I'd rather change gears and see what else they want than push something out i'm not proud of and I suspect the throw it at the wall and see what sticks nature of SNL, a part of it tha'ts essential, just didn't mesh with the well prepared and throughly thought out muppets. The Land of Gorch only lasted for season 1, with a combo of these issues and Jim FINALLY getting the Muppet Show Greenlit ending it, though they returned for one sketch in season 2 to see the characters off. Despite not really ever taking off though and the Gorch muppets only showing up in cameos after this, it ended up being an important piece of muppet history: Henson may not have made many friends in the writers room, but he made plenty of show biz contacts with at least 7 muppet show guest stars having also appeared during the time LOG was on SNL. He also realized he liked creating a weird fantasy world without humans around, and took the grungy creative part of LOG to create the Dark Crystal.

So now we've seen the messy road to it's creation let's see the messy results!

Episode Guide!

Nothing But Flowers

There aren't any offical titles for these sketches, so i'm just making up my own. You've been warned. If your curious you can find all but one on THIS FACEBOOK PAGE. You can also find them if you have peacock but given i'm on the tier with ads, it was just easier to use the facebook apart from the one episode they didn't have. I"ll mention it when we get here.

So the first episode is….

It introduces most of the cast: King Ploobis (Jim himself), the tyranical ruler of the land and selfish bastard, his nagging wife Queen Peuta (Alice Tweedle), his creepy assitant/viser/wife fucker Scred (Jerry Nelson), his mistress Vazh (Ronda Handsome here, Fran Brill after0 and the Mighty Favog, their god they go to once an episode for advice (Frank Oz). It's easily the slowest paced muppet production i've seen, mostly just stopping to introduce someone else then moving on. It only really gets funny once we get to the Mighty Favog. Oz does a terrific job as usual and the puppet for favog is weirdly expressive despite it's size and the fozzy voice fits a huckster god really well, helped by it sounding just deep enough from fozzy. I just love the concept of him: a god who really offers no helpful advice but will gladly take your money now, with the great catchphrases of "talk to me" and "it'll cost ya". He feels like the only character to actually have a personality, as well as fit BOTH crews style well.

It's the Money or Stop

The kingdom is broke and our heroes need money. Ploobis sells Scred to Favog by shoving him down his hole. I"m not doing the phrasing or goodnight everybody gags here on the grounds that they knew exactly what they were doing. i'm 95% sure scred was into it.

Sunshine Supermuppet

We meet Wiss, Ploobis stoner son played by Richard Hunt. He's high.

So is Favog. That's also the joke. NEXT

Eat It

This one's a bit funnier as Ploobis has eaten his faviorite food to extnction. It's ideas like this I feel got later filtered into the concept for Dinosaurs, another one on my to do list. Maybe later this year. But the idea works well enough as does the solution: Favog asks for a Glig as his payment and then give sit back when he's told the actual problem.

Out of My Headache

Ploobis has a headache. If your wondreing why these are so short it's that most of the cast is REALLY thin. Favog is your standard asshole, Peuta is his nagging wife, Vazh fanservice etc. While Scred isn't much deeper, Nelson really gives the little shit a lot of character and Ploobis annoyance with him and frequent homer simpson esque stranglings are a delight. But otherwise there just isn't a lot to latch onto in these early sketches, which likely didn't help either sides agrivation.

I Got You Babe

This one feels like night and day from the others non favog scenes as it has an interesting premise: Scred has a crush on lily tomlin and has gone to see her: Ploobis and Peuta going thorugh his stuff is fun, and we get a nice rendition of I got you babe from the two. Weirdly Tomlin never did Muppet Show, though she did do seasame street a few times, but she's great at this. She still is: Just look at Grace and Frankie. She's a fucking national treasure. It's also a sign things DO get better.

Everybody's Drunk

This one is fun even if it's VERY low effort: basically Ploobis gets very drunk, forces Scred to get very junk and they go to the Mighty Favog absolutely shitfaced. That's the episode. But unlike the others where I didn't have a lot to say the performances of the two are so hilarious and the sight of a muppet absolutely blotto so rare it carries the episode. It helps this is one of the shorter ones so the thin premise dosen't outstay it's welcome: it's just pure fun.

Christmas Time (Do Let the Bells End)

Another highlight of the series, as King Ploobis throws a Christmas party no one goes to as everyone's at the Killer Bee's party. Fun Fact: I've never seen Killer Bee's sketch. So there's that. It's fun enough especially with the sketch ending with Skred and guest Candice Bergen ditching the party for the Bee's party. It helps these sketches start to zero in more on what worked, i.e. the main duo of ploobis and skred, and their simple but effective act of Ploobis doing the setups, Skred saying something funny, and ploobis threatening to murder him for it.

Sex Lawz

So as set up in a previous episode, Skred is having an affair with the queen who after a few decades of this has decided to have Skred come clean before they get dirty again. Ploobis being who he is is a hypocrite and plans to murder anyone who sleeps with his wife, while Peuta is laso a hypocrite as she's mad her husband's cheating on her while she's doing the same. What i'ms aying is Skred is the most likeable person in the cast next to Favog, who advises Skred to exercise self love.. preferably with some magazines. THere's also a nice joy of sex runner.

Buy Me Toys Skred buys Peuta a sex toy. He struggles to put it together. The episode mercifully ends after it blows up. You know with what Jim can do with his imagination I expected WAY more and way weirder from a muppet sex toy. When I heard the premise of this one I was excited.. which says a lot about me I haven't fully processed, but this one's fully on Jim and Co for not making a better prop.

Honey Queen

A shorter sketcha nd the beginging of the end. For this last batch, the bits get experimental and thankfully get to a place where BOTH creative teams thrive: backstage shenangians. You can see a lot of the muppet show wraparoudns in these bits as the land of gorch muppets, mostly skred, try to get back on the sohw. In this case, Skred shows up as a bee to be in a sketch, only for Gilda Radner to tell him it was canceled. Gilda plays off him VERY well and it's no shock she went on to be on the muppet show. She's great at playing off them. It's also clear alongside Favog Skred was the breakout, and thus gets the most to do in this last stretch. It likely helps his puppet was easier to work in.

Look What I Did To My Id

This one is just .. bad. It's chevy chase dicking around with his hands because ostensibly our heroes are at the grammys. It's clear he didn't really respect what they did. The IDEA isn't bad, having an episode done just with hands, but instead of having Chevy act out a sketch or a parody, he just.. renacts a porn about the milkman because he and the writers coudln't be assed ot come up with actual jokes.

Eeee Eeee Eee Eeeeee DUN DUN DUN DUN dooo.. do do.. do do..

Is this question me and my dad, or Skred and Anthony Perkins? The World will never know

Anthony Perkins, aka Norman Bates, shows up and he's REALLY good. I had no idea he was this funny. He also wrote a murder mystery film, the last of shiela based on parties he threw. Yes really. YOur life is better for knowing that. And this sketch is one of the best, if not my faviorite as the muppets beg for work, with Anthony understandably annoyed as he dosen't actually run the show so he can't help. Skred also cratshes the ensuing sketch, with a great entrance. Easily the highlight.

Don't Start Now

Raquel Welch rebuffs Skred and Plobis hitting on her because there's nothing bellow the waste, possibly the first muppet dick joke and certainly not the last. I also got paid good money to type "muppet dick joke"

Chevy shoes them away then tells Raquel to take her shirt off.

Can't Buy Me Love

Another high point. It's clear these show biz bits just fit better. Favog claims to know the beetles and tries to bullshit our heroes way back onto the show. Not much else to sya, which is a habit here: the sketches can be funny but there just.. isn't a lot to disect. The good oens are just fast paced comedy and the not so good ones are just

Don't Leave Me This Way The ending sketch is my second favioroite and a good exit. The Land of Gorch Crew finds themselves in storage, beomaning how their jobless and how the muppet show has started without them. Lily Tomlin TRIES to find them work, but it's ultaimtely fruitless. IT's kind of a sad ending, but the fun of seeing them LITERALLY ins torage and coming out of cabinets (inclduing Ploobis shoving his way out despite his wife's discomfort given she's just bellow him), and the fact most of them aren't tha tlikeable help. And the muppets all TRYING to whistle is just.. comedy gold. It's clear Jim likely wrote this one or at least got to help more since he was on his way out.

So that was the land of gorch. and it's just kinda there. It has cool loooking muppets, but the clash between both creative teams and the lack of direction leave us with a series of shorts that's mostly filler and then Favog shows up. The last few are pretty damn great and really feel like they came right out of the muppet show, so it's clear Jim was getting his groove.. but it just wasn't built to last. SNL's side bits are better when they have a creative force behind it like Mr. Bill being indy films (with the writer being hired later), or the lovely chaos I need to explore at some point of saturday tv funhouse. and later groups like The Lonely Island and Please Do Not Destroy being built in house, still creatively experimenting, but in a way that fit sthe style of the show more. As it stands the Land of Gorch is just a weird evolutionarly step for the muppets that didn't quite land. Like the wartortle to Muppet Show and Dark Crystla's Blastoise: kinda there but not really.

Next Month: For the first time since I started this BRAND. NEW. MUPPETS. CONTENT. It's Muppets Mayhem baby! Need I say more?

[tracerleo]

Letter from Theron:

I love those in game messages we get and I use a lot of them for reference and to enhance the story dialogue.

Excerpt from “I do it for you.”

______________________________

3630bby Umbara

Imperial Space

__________________

Borias,

I really wish that I could come back, but I have too much that needs to be done. I would love to take that vacation that I always talked about, go somewhere far away from all this war and death. Just the two of us. It's a great fantasy, but the reality is much harder to swallow.

It feels like iv'e fought for peace all of my life, but for as long as I can remember, no matter what, nothing has turned out as I planned. Everyone always lets me down in the end. The Jedi, the Republic, my parents, even the Alliance. This endless war for power....it needs to stop. I'm so tired of fighting, and Iv'e finally found a way to stop it. Please know that everything iv'e done has been for the good of us all.

I don't expect you to understand. In fact, i'm sure this will really upset you. But I really need you to know, no matter how this all turns out, I LOVE YOU. I always have, and always will, Ever since the moment I first saw you on that halo in Manaan. You stole my heart and I will never forget you.

Always, forever

Theron

Theron sat on his bed on the shuttle. He put the data-pad down.

Tears rolled down his brown cheeks. He had finally lost it. He was glad that Borias couldn't see him cry.

He had to hold himself together, he thought. This mission has to be completed and I need to stay strong.

Borias had his emotions all mixed up. It had been that way right from the start.

His stomach was tied in knots, he had trouble sleeping, and he couldn't stop thinking about Borias.

He was never good with relationships, but Borias had changed him and his way of looking at things. He had always been an optimist and a fool in matters of love.

He sighed. He really did love Borias. The Sith Lord had left a serious mark on him and changed his life. But now, he needed to concentrate on the task at hand.

He needed to focus, and the Commander of the Alliance, the Sith Lord and former Emperor's wrath was a big distraction for him.

He couldn't know what I was about to do, he thought. He would have tried to talk me out of it, for sure.

This was like his old S.I.S. days when he had to lie and deceive people constantly. Keeping secrets, hiding from everyone, even those he cared about. But it had to be done, the Alliance needed to die.

His data pad rang. He reached for it to answer the message.

It read:

Agent Shan,

We have discussed it in detail, and we have decided that it would be beneficial for you to join us. We weren't sure, given your current affinity with the Alliance, but with everything that has conspired thus far, we figured that having you work with us would fix your current chaotic situation within your ranks. We hope to speak with you further as soon as you are able. Welcome to the fold.

Grand Master Treveyr, Order of the six

He let out a hard sigh, then flicked the switch on the console of the flight panel.

Moments later , a bone masked figure appeared on the holo-communicator.

“ I held up my end of the bargain..” Theron said firmly, looking at the bone, masked figure in front of him. “now it’s your turn .”

The hooded figure on the halo glared at him under his bone mask.

“Trust in us agent Shan. all will be well. the order of Zildrog will prevail.”

It better, Theron thought, as he cut off the transmission with the priest of Zildrog.

Theron stared out into space. it better work. too much is at stake. it’s killing me that I had to lie to everyone and betray their trust, but I didn’t see any other way. he let out another heavy sigh.

I really wish that there was a way I could have done this better, he thought. damn it! he pounded his fist on the console of the shuttle. he covered his face with the other hand. at least I got to say goodbye to Borias. Sadly, we couldn’t speak on Copero, but I had to keep up appearances for all this to work out. I don’t know how long this will take, and I am not sure if I’ll be successful. Vlass was a big help. I hope he’s okay...

he grumbled. I’m not sure how long I can do this though. Borias must think the worst after Copero. He sobbed softly, tears slipping down his tanned cheeks. his hands shook, his breath coming short bursts. this just makes it harder, he thought. if Borias had killed me on Umbara, or stayed angry with me, I might have an easier time doing what I need to do, but I know he forgives me. I saw it in his eyes when I left Copero. He knows the truth.

he let out a heavy sigh, then punched the controls to head out into imperial space...

[koalacolbss]

If Only You Were Mine <3 Pt 1

{A Colby Brock Fluff}

I looked at Colby as he sat there at his desk with his head down sleeping ofc. aaah classic colby always sleeping... I guess I should begin with who I am. My name is y/n, m/n, l/n. And Iv'e been best friends with Cole Robert Brock, Sameul John Golbach, and Katrina Stuart for about 7 years now, we all met back in 4th grade.

Sam, Colby and Kat have all known each other longer but that's when I met them. I guess you could say they took me in, yeah that's it really, they took me under there arms when my abusive dad kicked me out. I was the only one in the friend group who was single, although iv'e liked colby for years i never got the courage to ask him out and one day he got a girlfriend, also known as my best friend, in most stories like this people say it was the friends fault cuz they knew you liked them but in this case it was mine, and when i told her i liked him she felt horrible because she was already with him and didnt want to hurt him so we stayed friends and they stayed dating.

Yeah..it sorta hurts to walk inside and hear her moaning his name when in your head you think it should be you. I live with sam colby and kat its cool i guess i get to be featured in their yt videos more then amber, my best friend. Amber and I agreed I could be in the YT vids more and she would be colbys gf. Anyways lets get back to the story yeah?

*3 hours later*

I walked into the house after soccer practice and just as expected im the only other one home except colby and amber who both are upstairs in colbys room making love to each other. I tear up a little but try to hide it as kat walks inside.

Kat: y/n?...why are you crying??

y/n: *thoughts* Oh shit- i must have a few tears oops...

all of a sudden i lost it. yep. you heard me i started bawling as kat cradled me into her arms

Kat: Y/N!!!!...what happened???

y/n: *sighs* I like colby...I have for years and I was to chicken to confess and so Amber asked him out and she didnt know I liked him so she felt bad but i told her to date him cuz i didnt want him to be hurt again..

Colby: *stops walking down the stairs* What?...*looks at amber* i-is that true love?

Amber: *nods yes* Im sorry.... I do like you but she liked you first and i felt bad when i found out...we should break up colbs im sorry she needs you more then i do..*leaves*

Colby: *looks at you* ykw...GET OUT Y/N!! YOU FUCKED IT ALL UP!!! DONT COME BACK TO OUR SCHOOL MOVE OUT OF THIS STUPID TOWN I DONT WANNA SEE YOUR DUMB FACE EVER AGAIN *picks y/n up and tosses you outside*

Sam: COLBY STOP ITS NOT HER FA-

Then the door slammed. And that was the last time I heard from colby. until I got the message.

*5 years later*

I was sound asleep when it happened. someone called me but i was to lazy to get up so i let it ring until the voicemail came, I was expecting spam or something but a familiar voice came through the speaker: "Hey y/n...um im not sure if you remember me my name is Colby. Cole Robert Brock. It's been awhile and I wanted to tell you how much I love you, this is my confession, its been years and I'm sure it's silly to you for me to apologize 5 years later but im sorry, I love you i truly do, Ik your back in kansas and all and I know you won't get this message cuz im not gonna send it to you cuz im fuckin stupid and to chicken to send it through but i wanted you to know i miss you so much and i wish i did things the right way that 5 years ago i think your really cute we should han-" **voicemail ended**

I was shocked. Colby did something I thought he never would do, he accidently sent me his confession, and an apology??!?!?!.. Man if he really sent this it must be worth it to call back and accept to meet up.. so i walked over to the phone and picked it up i hit the call back button and waited while it rang.

*MEANWHILE*

***Colbys POV***

Shit. shit. shit. I didnt mean for it to actually send through I feel horrible about how I overeacted 5 years ago but I wasn't ready to talk to her yet...she probably hates me why would she ever forgive me? I always had anger issues but i kicked her out of her own house. it was ours but still. she owned a part of it. then the phone rang and with a trembling hand i picked it up and answered it. "H-hello?"

y/n: *over the phone* Hey uhhhh i got your message- before you hang up yes i do except your apology and yes we should totally meet up somewhere.

colby: Oh nice! we should meet up at chick-fi-la! ill pay for us both if youd like?

y/n: yea! sure! sounds great colbs! maybe we can start over?

colby: y-yeah! yeah! i would love that!

y/n: ok...goodbye colbs see you tomorrow?

colby: yep. sounds like a date yn!! byeeee

then i hung up. god i must have sounded so dumb to her but inside my chest feels tingly and my stomach has butterflies. i turned around and looked at sam. "well...i did it brother i apologized to her."

sam: thats good. maybe youll date her tooooo"

colby: woah- lets not go that far maybe shes just waiting till she gets here to yell at me...

sam: whatever dude.

[greatunironic]

ok so i finished most remarkable thing a few days ago and i was letting it simmer in my brain and i just cannot stop thinking about it. it has been some time since i have 1) felt connected to a fandom enough to invest in the fics and 2) felt so connected to a particular fic that it takes up more brain space than canon.

also max's wedding is set in my hometown so that probably has something to do with the fact that i can picture all of the wedding scenes very clearly also tore into my heart in a way that i am very fond of lol. i just wanted to come here and gush abt how much i love this fic and how i haven't loved a fic this much since like 2017.

so thank you for writing it <3 and thank you for blessing us with your talents <3

thank you so much!! seriously, y'all are sending me to the moon with these comments!! i never thought i'd write for this fandom but i'm so glad i decided this was a story i needed to tell because, i think, like, as a writer and an artist, one of the things i've always strived for was to like touch people with what iv'e done. and it just thrills and humbles me so much to see this response, like, i'm literally chewing on the furniture right now, i've fully gone feral.

(i'm from l.a. originally, and knew that while i was obviously going to be setting the bulk of this story in the midwest, i needed to honor my (and max's, lol) roots. and one of the most beautiful, fun weddings i ever attended was up that way so i was like, obviously i need to have this little personal homage in there)

[diary-of-aries]

21/3/24

UPDATE ON THINGS I MISSED: I finished all my assessments only to get another 3 thrown at me with a week to do them. My CD player ran out of battery on Tuesday, and my mother got angry at me because I asked a question yesterday. I've decided to write my entries in 1st person.

I woke up to the sound of rain, I could tell that I had an hour or so more to sleep so I shut my eyes and pulled my husband closer to me, he gave me a little squeeze and I drifted off again. About an hour later I awoke to my stepdad flinging my bedroom door open and announcing it was time to get up, while flicking on the light. I could still hear rain.

After dragging myself out of bed and into school clothes while deflecting my sister's futile attempts at conversation, I made her breakfast and prepped lunches. Helius appeared in the loungeroom, "I have changed my clothes" he announced, "Vulcanus informed me that mortals may get flustered or uncomfortable with me in the previous one. I believe a chiton will suffice to avoid that." I nodded, "So long as it's longer than Apollon's" I mumble, not quite in the mood for talking, and flustered no matter his outfit choice. TRUST ME IF YOU'VE SEEN THE GUY IRL YOU'D UNDERSTAND THE MAN'S HELLA FINE.

I eventually made my way to the bus-stop and onto the bus, the rain gradually becoming heavier the closer I got to school. I had to run through the rain, while it pissed down around me. While running from the bus-stop towards the school entrance I dropped my phone, I turned back to get it a human participation award rode past with a scratchy cry, "You're phone's fucked!" it said, at this I smiled, these creatures always thought that they had you by stating fact, and half the time they weren't even right. My phone wasn't fucked, and he was the one riding through the rain without a rain coat. I checked my pocket for my frog and kept running, hoping to get it to my partner before it began rapid decay, which was in high likeliness due to me being pissed off at Jupiter.

I got to the front of the school and waited out of the rain for my partner but they never came. I eventually had to get rid of the frog because of the speed it was decaying at, it was beginning to emit a strong smell. Then I suffered the day alone realised I had a draft due of an essay I haven't started and tried not to cry. The End. Iv'e decided that first person is too much effort.

[violetsystems]

#personal

I haven't really written one of these in awhile for various reasons. Since a lot of my friends here are still with me like flies on the wall I sometimes need to vent. I wouldn't call my writing these days trauma dumping. I've always tried to use this space as a place to let people inside my head in a transparent sort of way. And I've found that transparency is eavesdropped by people who should have left well enough alone. This is what you get for being a micro niche celebrity of some sort. You don't get paid. I wouldn't even know what I influence these days other than entrapping chauvinists and edgelords on the internet. Trying to explain things too much sometimes gives people insight into how to bend your own personal boundaries. They think it's an art to subjugate whatever lines you don't want crossed. And honestly part of courage and standing up to bullying is really about parrying the attacks as they come. I've still been looking for jobs. I don't make music or art per se but I do peform socially in a weird expectant way. I don't really understand what it is. I think sometimes I'd like to refer to it as Jarvis Cocker once did. Cocaine Socialism. There isn't really any other way to explain why people stalk me in the alley when I take out the garbage or follow me around the neighborhood. I wake up and people are staring into my kitchen. No one talks to me. No one calls to ask me how I am. My parents who I talk to probably the most seem also somewhat cryptic at times. When they visit, you can tell there's a presence and it isn't some evil spirit. It literally feels like they have the police or the FBI tailing them. I don't do drugs. I don't do anything really other than babysit my cat and drink coffee. But I can assume the paranoia exists because everyone deflects to me being the center of some villainy or conspiracy. Much to their dismay I'm not really the center of anything in real life. I'm pretty clueless as to why I'd be so polarizing when everyone pretends to not to know who I am after stalking my blog for years. I have my guesses as to what the sources are. And beginning to describe them reads like a hardboiled detective plot. All I can say is that people out here consolidate power via groups and the internet has created some extreme blocs of monsters. It is the classic trope of populism that absolute power corrupts absolutely and people are power. My life resembles the Stanford Prison Experiment out here more than anything. Give a person a cellphone and a window to the world and they'l make it their own personal panopticon. A hunger games oriented reality prison of virtue stalking and euphemistic signaling. Tumblr was always so much more simple and anonymous.

I blocked a bunch of people. Sometimes it hurt to do so. But based on vibe and circumstance, Iv'e had to parry both aggressive and well meaning intrusions. I can't really talk freely about anything anymore for safety reasons. I can tell you that I don't really interact with anything outside of this space. I work on looking for employment while I manage the money I have. I run my own business and deal with discrimination in a very personal sort of way. I don't ever know if the interviews I'm offered are real or if they're some sort of entrapment. I joke about entrapment a lot but I have been entrapped. The police can impersonate anyone or anything out here without a warrant. They can read your blog. I don't really believe it's in their best interest to do so. And yet everyone is looking for someone to blame for something. We live in politically charged times with no end of surveillance. And the efficiency of it all is irresponsible at best. I always thought being transparent and upfront as a writer and socially would be less of a headache. Be easy to read and wear your intentions and heart on your sleeve and what do you get? More questions. Nobody wants to believe or accept what you are about regardless of identity politics anymore. The point is that nobody wants to accept an individual in America. And ironically being an individual in America aside from a group is probably more safe unless you are one of those incels that threatens people online. I get angry in my apartment all the time. But it's mostly me blowing off steam behind closed doors trying to deal with the PTSD of a neighborhood that acts like gestapo. There isn't really due process in my mind for what has happened to me. And I write about it freely because I want people to understand where they are wrong. If society keeps going the way that it is? People assuming that democracy is their right only if they bought their way into power? I've exercised my rights personally more in the last three years than I ever have. I applied for a gun license. I don't own one. I completed a FOIPA request on myself like the movie stars, activists, and musicians often do. I got a letter back on September 11th from the FBI that they had no record of me at all. I appealed it twice. And I sit here in my apartment waiting for the OIG to close my suspicions so I can move on with my life and enjoying posting on the internet on a dead website in peace.

My audience here has largely been anonymous. I'm sure people understand there's my private and public identity. My public identity and the security of it is in no stretch of the imagination traumatized and violated. You would think somebody would have given me a pity job by now. And yet I feel like people simply offer me jobs to keep a running background check open on me. I've been waiting since August on one after sending five reference letters out. My entire professional and personal network ghosted me. And at times, I need to reach out and explain myself for the sake of not going crazy. Linkedin does nothing other than creates a closed feedback loop worse than Facebook. I deleted my Facebook data. I spent a week on Instagram and realized I needed to delete that too. I'm sure people sell my information here and scrobble it for AI. And I don't know how much that has damaged me. But I've always thought there was at least some kind of clout that comes back to me from being this out in the open. I'm not afraid of the people who follow me around. But it is getting to a point where I'm more afraid of these times. You give people the chance to test your boundaries then they will eventually cross them for better or for worse. They act like I'm holed up in my apartment like it's Custer's last stand. And I act like I can still make smaller and smaller moves to move forward. And my life just becomes a silent box of microexpressions. I have no happiness. I don't go anywhere. I used to travel the world by myself. Every city I would go to alone I would find my place in. Seoul, New York, Tokyo, Wellington, Kyushu, Hong Kong, and whatever. These are places I have been that people who judge me have never seen. I am judged by a bunch of bullies from my past who think they know who I am based on when I was their punching bag. And they shitkick the memory of me in public in such a weird, secret frisson that I can only assume their entire soul is encrusted with powder and dust. I have tried to get out of the saw trap I'm stuck in with you. And by you I don't really need to explain it much anymore. All I really am saying is that I've learned over time that nothing really matters other than the time I've spent here. And I'm always grateful for the friends I have no matter how displaced or vague. It's a worse feeling to have tried to speak to someone or reach out and help someone and have it taken for granted. The privilege of people who have no empathy and don't understand that you need to give to get what you need. That's love. I see no love out here in the real world. And in that respect no warmth that I would call home. So that's why I stay home on a Friday night. And it's probably for the best when I wake up and write about it some Saturdays however rare it may be. Love is kind of rare. Don't let them fool you into thinking otherwise. You might lose it. <3 Tim

[lvgn24]

Reflective Essay

"ANGEL FROM MY NIGHTMARE"

~Pauline Sanchez

Heartbreaks is not just about for relationships It's also about for sisters. Way back 2015, my sister and I had an argument connected with Platform game I used her account to trick and not intend to respite her or play with her emotions.

"Got mad and slam the door"

"I'm sorry" I told her.

"Bakit mo ginamit account ko?!" she replied.

"It's just a game you can create one" my replied.

A day passed, she never talked to me again kept ignoring me, rolling her eyes, whenever we get along with each other. I was too young that time and I never thought that she was made me taste my own medicine for my actions. Formerly, I mourn every night she's the angel from my nightmare, my constant. I lost her trust, her love for me every single night, I pray to god that this has to stop. Every christmas, new year that has passed by she doesn't even bother to knock on my door She's the one who i rely on, helps me fix my problems, sorrow she's the best sister that I could ever ask for. Every morning she pinch my fingers, kisses me that's her way to wake me up. She picks me up everytime i'm out with friends, take cares of me when i have fever and that's the sweetest thing i had received.

"Wake up pau! let's watch adventure time!" She said.

The only thing I have was the memories If I could just turn back time i'll change the slip-up things that happened. Currently, It's been 8 years no communication in house, no conversation on phone.

"Felt like floating somewhere i do not know, do i really need to get up from my misery?" It' is my fault anyway.

Despite all the things that iv'e been through I still appreciate life that my fam gave me and patiently waiting to be forgiven by my sis continously praying for her remembering our undying moments together. I'll use her as my inspiration to class, whenever I go. I take this as a lesson, i learned to value my sister when she was tired loving me.

[thebigsick]

venting in the safe house

if someone finds me on tumblr then i gotta end it all. just somewhere to speak my mind, hopefully find relief for the thoughts having. i keep thinking someone is coming behind me but its 12:30. i find myself in a redundant cycle of "attachment" issues with people, i want to leave the only real "friends" i have and just be myself, or just ghost everyone i know because everything so far has just been a waste of time. all the time shared with my friends was for nothing as i realize i "don't even really like them". I start thinking that and it's not real, it's not true, it's probably not honest. I see everyones lives progressing and moving in a great direction, the way id want mine to be but it feels like i just keep getting held back for a reason. i keep feeling like i have no real attachment to these people. at the end of the day, after all the things we do and say like getting food and laughing or making fun of other people, there is nothing solid between and any of them. they all wanna hang out with each other and some people just between them, but never everyone. sometimes i'm excluded and usually i get it; people do their own thing and i shouldn't be reliant on others for my happiness but they are supposed to be -my friends-. when i'm bored i talk with -my friends-, when i want to hang out i message -my friends-, when i have problems i can tell -my friends-. it's not like that tho and i get i can't have it they way "I want to", i just wish i some form of that. it feels like everyone has a much stronger bond to each other except me. i'm a loose end, it doesn't matter that much if i am there when they're hanging out or not. it seems like everyone has that thing to back to, that thing to fall back onto, that safety pad but i don't. I can't explain it that well but i will try. i don't think i'm close with anyone enough to rely on them the way everyone has/does.

i feel lonely around this time of year, it's annoying. i have been telling myself i dont need anyone for a long time, now it feels like the castle of lies ive built for myself is coming crashing down. i think someone like me, someone in my situation or in my position should have a kind of person like that, but no. idk why i think especially me but i think that would be nice. it would be great to have that sort of connection. its so late jeez work tmr too. i think ive been trying to fill my time/ keep my myself busy to avoid feeling like this. it has worked so far but it feels the effect just wore off. maybe this is a moment of weakness but the feelings have stuck with me for some time. iv'e had these thoughts many times before but never got them together and written them down. again, i wish i could tell someone i trust this instead.

my worst fear coming from this is that my friends will move on past me and hang out with each other because they are closer or have more similar personalities. i know our friends aren't perfect but it feels like their flaws are being amplified right now. i gotta brush my teeth.

ok done. my airpods are shit too. had some time to reflect and these thoughts will probably age poorly, whatever. i think i said "but" too much, its ok. i think this form of venting is helpful for me because it's like im telling someone this. i know no one is gonna see it yet it feels like the only way to could actually relieve myself from the dark room my mind is in rn. i hope it gets better. its 1am. idc we up already so long atp couple minutes cant make much difference. I wish someone was there for me emotionally. i dont think i have a "ton of baggage" but for the basic stuff. i dont know how my mom does it. just her, for years. she has more actual problems too. she is the strongest no doubt.

it doesn't seem like anyone actually wants -me-. if we are talking about making jokes, playing the game, music making talk, it's great. but when it comes to real, deep, ego-hurting feelings we all have, im a ghost. no one turns to me or think i need someone to turn to.

you know it might actually be partly my fault for not being vulnerable but that's only because i have some trust issues i think. just wish i had that one person, that ride or die, that go out "guns-a-blazin" person. im 16 now and im feeling like i might never get that person for myself. its like there was a pre-partner choosing period that i missed and now that we started, i'm stuck by myself.

im definitely not ugly or anything like that so i dont issues of that stuff, its purely rejection. lets say if i start talking to a girl i like, what i think very likely will happen will be this: we start talking, i do most of talking, the start and end of the conversation. she is clearly not interested in me but is just messaging because shes bored. she tells her friends about how i keep messaging her and dont stop. i try to move past the talking stage and she shuts it down. things are weird with us and i try to talk to someone about it and *poof*. nothing.

this music is really my main thing 🤞🏾. listening to it and making it has been there everyday for me for years. people must think i have it figured it out, right? There isn't a support system for this stuff. I MEAN theres OBVIOUSLY the "yo ur music is acc fire" comments all the time which i am honestly grateful for but it doesn't seem like anyone truly cares about this shit as much i do at all and you know, that's ok. if that was my only issue i had, id be that guy fr. it's just another thing.

i hope i find it tho, so badly, i think it would be such a positive impact on my life. maybe this music shit could get me that attention im so badly craving but probably not. is that it tho? am i just craving attention? is the lack of attention in my life effecting everything else? i hope this inspires me to go find that someone. i essentially want that special someone is what ive been trying to say this whole time but when i say it like this, i just think "wow buddy, you and everyone else".

[generoustriumphsheep]

6/25

Okay so yesterday out of the blue I heard from him. A text saying he thinks about me all the time and he was wondering how Iv'e been. The conversation led to a phone call and it was so crazy I was actually talking to him after over a month of no contact. Idk if it was the no contact or my manifesting, but I was happy to hear from him. Iv'e missed him so much. I don't wanna get too excited, but we talked about getting dinner this week. I would love to reconnect. He sounded way better than the last time we talked it wasn't at such a distance and it was nice like he actually missed me. Ugh I'm excited but I don't want to get too excited just to get hurt even more. I would love if he was ready to give our relationship another try. That's the outcome I would love. I''ve been trying to be positive and manifest. I'm just gonna try to go into it with a clear head. Obviously I'm gonna starve myself even more so I sister snap on him, I'm gonna look so good he's gonna shit himself. He's gonna be like oh my god she looks so good how could I have broken up with her. He was saying things on the phone that were kinda green flags and he texted me after saying it felt good to talk to me. I really hope he hangs onto those feelings and he's looking forward to giving our relationship another chance. I know I made him happy he can't just let go of this. He said he still loves me and he doesn't know if that'll ever go away. Nope. How could it. He said he thinks about me all the time, so do I. I thought it was just me. I just am so scared to get rejected again it seems like we've been separated for years. It's officially been over 2 months I think that's enough time to see where he's at. He was the one who suggested to meet up. The day before I was having a rough day missing him, crying and driving, crying on the floor it's been such a hard time.My heart and I just can't let him go. Universe if you're listening just give him a sign he's ready for this. I know we can be even happier together I can feel it. I'm ready to have a healthier relationship and to just really enjoy each other.

[popculturebuffet]

The KaBlammiest KaBlam! Retrospective: Season 1 Review (Comission by Cory Bryant)

Assume the crash position, hold on tight, take a breath for a new kind of cartoon show review. It's The KaBlammiest KaBlam! Retrospective. And now to take you inside and turn the pages.. your host jake!

Thanks me. So for those less familiar, KaBlam was a mid 90's nickelodeon variety show. Framed as a cartoon comic book, hosts and 90's kids, the everyman henry and the michevious june, would get up to various shenanigans while introducing various shorts.

The show was unique in that unlike other variety cartoons like Tiny Toons or Animaniacs (both bangers I need to review more of), KaBlam's shorts were all from diffrent creators, pilots that had been shopped to the network and instead of picking them up for a full series, became their own series within this series. There were also various pilots that didn't get a full segment that still aired on the show along with music videos and for this season french experimental shorts. It was something unlike anything else before or since, and it was truly wonderful.

Speaking of wonderful this is also the first review comissioned by someone in my day to day life. One of my best friends since 8th grade, the guy I see most films with and one of the sweetest persons you'll ever meet, Cory Bryant. Cory asked out of the blue if I could review KaBlam, I said

And here we are, with him having already paid in advance for four seasons worth of content. As for why.. he just thought it was neat and would make a good reivew.. and he was right. Like I said, KaBlam really ISN'T like anything else i've covered: it's essentially 6 diffrent shows in one with a few one offs thrown in. So while iv'e done full season reviews before KaBlam! is going to take a diffrent approach, and has been a bit of a challenge. But it's a challenge i'm more than happy to have taken up, so keep your heiner in the recliner as I turn the page and introduce or reintroduce ya'll to one of nick's most creative, intresting and hilarious shows.

The Secret Origin of KaBlam!

KaBlam came about because future Nick President, Herb Scanell, naturally getting tons of cartoon shorts pitched for his cartoon channel, wanted to try live action shorts with a cartoon sensiblity. One of these was Action League NOW!, a short about action figure superheroes getting ran over or crushed a LOT, and it was picked up to be ran on All That!, saturday night live for cool kids. ALN creator Robert Mittenhall wanted to do more with the shorts. Mittenhall had worked at nick for a while now as a story editor for the adventures of Pete and Pete, creator of sitcom Welcome Freshman and Co-Creator of Double Dare, and with the help of Pete and Pete co creators Will McRobb and Chris Viscardi, pitched a variety show to Nick: Various animated or semi live action shorts all done by diffrent studios

The only thing left was a wraparound, something to link them together, and with the team not having animation experince, they tapped artist Mark Marek. Marek wa sa long time animation fan, having gone to school for it after being insipired by Peanuts and Johnny Quest as a kid, and having done animation for Cindi Lauper and They Might Be Giants.

So while pitching ideas, he got the call back from Nick and thus KaBlam was fully formed, with Marek creating hosts Henry and June. Marek also kept the show allive by posting it and all in all is pretty damn awesome.

So with our main show in place, I can get to this reviews format: while I COULD go episode by episode and the shorts within, I decided instead to look at each major segment one at a time, as each short is essentially it's own show within KaBlam! with it's own creator/showrunner, art style and what have you, the Henry and June wraparounds included. There will also be an extra segment for one off or less seen segments.

So with that we have our first cartoon

Henry and June our are hosts.. and also our wraparound. For season 1 at least i'ts mostly unconnected nonsense. There's an episode or two with an ovearching plot, but for the most part it's just funny skits between each cartoon following two great characters: straight man henry and mischievous june. The segments as a whole aren't bad, though they do run into a problem: repetttion. There area LOT of skits that are just "June torments henry for little to no reason". A LOT, i'ts something I hope goes down as the series goes on and didn't really remember from both the first time I watched the show as a kid and binge watching a chunk of it with my niece a few years back, so hopefully it goes down. At the very least it looks like the first episode of season 2 directly adresses it, and while that dosen't guarantee the problem's gone it at least shows the creators recognize they might of leand on this joke too much

Otherwise it's just some fun nonsense, gets really weird with it and has a lot of fun with the format: our heroes are ostensibly in a comic book so we get fights over who turns the page, hanging on to panels and in probably my faviorite joke of the season, June deciding that if she never turns the page, the show never ends.. only to find out they just turn the lights out if they go over time. It's a good wraparound and outside of the Henry Torture Porn never really got old, and even some of that's funny it just depends on the bit. It's more ther'es SO DAMN MUCH OF IT. And so you see what I mean as we go thorugh the henry and june segments for the season, i'l lhave a Henry Abuse Count. Also I won't be going into each bit in detail as there are a LOT. I will for the other shows, but there's just so much here and so much of the show to cover as is.

The following are the titles for the episodes themselves.. or at least what fans use, using the slogan on the back of the comic each episode. Honestly I don't mind it as it's better than NO titles, especially on a show this loose and freeform. The titles aren't exactly descriptie, but they at least allow us to tell them apart. It's better than say, adapting an acclaimed manga and not giving us any titles or even a chapter 1. You didsapoitned me pluto.

Your Real Best Friend: Our heroes explain waht kablam is, June lets henry nearly get eaten by a spider, chuckimation is explained.. another day at the office really.

Henry Abuse Count: 1. June leaves Henry to nearly get eaten by a spider.

It's Flavorific: I remembered almost none of these bits. Only june creating a superhero with no weaknesses that beats up henry and June outright beating up henry for tricking her.

Henry Abuse Count: 3

Comics for Tomorrow Today: June wants to be a superheroine, and tries to leverage turning her eyes out and such. Henry gets jealous when she gets more marketable powers and we get a nice bit of her playing up his page turning prowess. Also the count dosen't go up one iota, so that's nice

Not Just For People Anymore: June gets lost trying to interview sniz and fondue, tasers henry for reasons I honestly forgot but it does not suprise me in the slightest, and they have the classic your side my side nonsense. June invites henry to join a party she throws. It's a nice ending

Henry Abuse Count: 4

All Purpose KaBlam!: June invents an automatic page turner that goes bonkers, tries to drop a tank on henry, and tries to cost him a golf game.

Henry Abuse Count: 7

What The Astronauts Drink: A rare one where all the shorts have a theme. SPACCCCEEEEEE. It's a fun one as our heroes get ready to journey into space. We also get June soiling herself because Gross Out

But thankfully only shows up twice this season.

KaBlam Gets Results!: This episode sure did happen. The only memorable part of this one is June pulling down henry's pants revealing he has boxers of richard nixon. She does this for every suprising shorts we're only going to count it once.

Henry Abuse Count: 8

You've Tried the Rest! Now Try the Best: A really fun set of wraparounds: Henry throws June down a volcano to cure her laughter.

June drops stuff on Henry she borrowed and naturally broke, and June ends the episode erasing everything including Henry's head. Huh so that's the secret origin of the headless body of agnew. All in all one of the best of the season

Henry Abuse Count: 10 June Abuse Count: 1

Untitled or Why June Refuses to Turn the Page: Another banger, with the opening and closing bits being the standouts: June hosts diffrent things other than the show she's doing like talk shows or beauty pagents, a beatufiully dumb gag, and then refuses to turn the page and gets blacked out as a result. A straight up classic

Henry Abuse Count: 11. She throws him a side to go ahead with her plan.

A Little Dab Will Do Ya: These bits really hti their stride towards the end, something I didn't realize till I started typing this. This one's also a classic, ending on my second faviorite bit of the season: June rips out a page, makes it into an airplane and we get a ride like the wind refrence deliveried by a Sasquatch. Pure magic.

Henry Abuse Count: 14. June makes henry into abstract art, has mr foot beat him up, and then Mr foot beats him up for accidently unclogging him. Mr Foot is a big foot or sasquatch and he's great.

Built for Speed; Other than a bit about the two's stunt doubles, I honestly forgot this set.

Comics of Champions: Our third of four wraparounds that have an overarching story. Thunder Girl from action league now is vistiing, Henry has a crush on her and June is a dick about it, making him swell up with embarassment.

Henry Abuse Count: 17, as June abuses Henry's blushing to make his head swell three times.

Resistance is Futile: We end the season on a fun award show spoof as they elect the Kablammiest cartoon. It has a lot of great bits including an overwrought music number and the payoff in which the winner, Flesh and Melt Man of Action League Now win a new car.. that as per the series standard, runs them over. An all timer to go out on.

So with that we can move on to something more groovy. Though if you liked the idea of the Kablammy awards stay tuned as i'll be having my own version at the end of the review. For now though...

Sniz and Fondue was created by indie comics creator Mike R. Brandon, who created the comic Puppy Action. A copy got into the hands of at the time Nick Head Linda Smesky who loved it and asked Brandon to make a pilot. The resulting short "Psyched for Snuppa" was well loved, but ultimately lost out to the better toon, Rocko's Modern Life pilot "Sucker for the Suck-0-Matic", creating a weird alternate reality where Rocko never made it to series and might of ended up on KaBlam! instead. Still Sniz and Fondue was super well loved, so it got picked up for KaBlam! instead.

The first season's animation was done at PitchiPoi animatoin.. which brandon hated for often being off model, and they switched companies for season 2. Me I think the animation looks good and if it looks this crisp off model, I can't wait to see how season 2 looks when we get there. Brandon also wanted to voice Fondue and have his best friend voice Snizz, but got vetoed on the latter and on the former at the time creators voicing things in their own tunes which execs were HEAVILY against it saying "you don't want to be that close to your own show"

Somehow they did, and while Brandon has nothing against the voice actors who played Sniz and Fondue, their simply not what he wanted. It's very clear both from a reddit ama I found with brandon (I was so happy to find something besides wikis and hopefully can find more as this goes on. ) It's very clear while he loves the project, kids animation just wasn't for him and despite being offered a full series order, left, with Spongebob Taking the spot he was offered. If I had a Nickle for every time Sniz and Fondue didn't become a recurring series so a key part of cartoons as a whole could, i'd have two nickles. Which isn't a lot but it's WEIRD it happened twice.

Sniz and Fondue follows Sniz, a hyperactive ferret with the accent of a 50's greaser and the impulse control of a hyperactive ferret and his best friend and roommate Fondue a mild tight ass who likes building models and wears a chefs hat because it looks neat. Their voiced by Rick Gomez, aka "endless' mike from Pete and Pete and Oscar Riba. The only two other recurring characters are Snuppa, played by John Andrew Walsh, a videographer and the chill dude in the apartment and the slightly more uptight Bianca, played by Monica Lee Bashforth, who gets annoyed at the two more often but is just as likely to enjoy the chaos.

The show is your pretty standard "Two guys hang out and get into shenanigans' sitcom, one of the first and certainly one of the first in animation, coming off as a 90s era regular show. Snuppa and Bianca show up as needed and from what i've read eventually get phased out as Brandon and crew realized they didn't really need them, though I think their fine.

What helps Sniz and Fondue work is while the two are oppisities to a point, Sniz being hyperactive and fairly stupid and Fondue being calmer and actually thinking things through, the show gets how to make a duo like this work: Fondue isn't immune to hyjinks and in seperate episodes becomes a fashion magnate or gets creepily obessed with the ventrioquist dummy Sniz made for him. There's never any of the real cliche conflcits you'd expect from the two, their just slightly diffrent, have enough intrests to bond them, enough diffrences to bring the laughs, and are on the same page more than not.

Sniz and Fondue is really charming and fun, while also, like most KaBlam! shorts being incredibly weird. It was one of my faviorites and kicks off the show more often than not, getting it started on the right track

Sniz and Fondue Season 1 episodes

A Toxic Tail: The first short and one of the weaker ones. This one is more on the usual end of this sort of squabble: Sniz keeps breaking into Fondue's room to jump on the bed, so Fondue buys a deadly scorpion to keep him out.

Yet while the plot is pretty bog standard there were hints at what i'd later love about these shorts: there's the weird Exotic Pets guy who sells Fondue the murder scorpion and the resolution: once the scorpion is scooped, Fondue decides to simply charge Sniz for jumping on his bed, complete with a velvet rope queue, and Sniz happily accepts. IT's one of the best things about these shorts: most endings are pretty positive and usually the two reconcile by the end, but in a way that's uniquely them.

Stuntbike Sniz: the short that sold me on these. Sniz buys a motorcycle and Fondue is against it as he dosen't want his best friend to get messed up. The short is mostly sniz doing hilaroiusly half assed ramp stunts that aren't much of a challenge but still result in him getting mildly injured, and Fondue shaking his head at it. Fondue would be grating.. if he wasn't trying to keep his best friend from horribly mangling himsef. That and even getting mangled, Sniz is happy with the attention. Also this has Sniz wax lyrical, saying the lyrics to "Your the inspiration".. and turns out this , to my delight wasn't a one off thing. This is still my faviorite of them but we get a LOT of random little musical refrence moments I love.

Mod Stylin: This one works for me in part because it's surprisingly down to earth: Sniz needs a LOT of hair gel to keep his mohawk up, so Snupa, to save money, buys him the cheap stuff instead. Problem is overdoing it makes his hair fall out. We also get a lot of fun stuff as Fondue tries to restore Sniz' hair, which itself is fun as it's the first time Fondue really gets to do weird shit and i'm here for it. My favorite hair restoration attempt is Fondue planting a flower on sniz's head and the seasons passing as we wait for it to grow. I love long time skip gags, so it's a personal thing. The ending, which has Fondue have his head sympathy shaved, is just adorable.

Fashionably Fondue: I love this one simply for taking a very common plot and making it feel unique. In this one Fondue decides to become a fashion mogul because most jeans can't fit sniz's tiny butt and stature, promising to make jeans that actually fit for him if he gets famous. Your probably expecting as I did that the episode would either have Fondue get self absorbed, go back on the promise but then fufill it in the end or fufilling it would end his career.

While it does go with option B, how it does it is neat. As is how Fondue becomes a fashion mogul in the first place as he throws one of his drawings in frustration, and it ping pongs hilariously via slapstick and bee gee's refrences till a fashion person gets it. Not only that but Fondue.. just does what he promised immeditely and rather than get laughed at or something for it, he fails.. but only because Sniz is GENUINELY the only customer.. and rather than be too bummed Fondue is happy Sniz has jeans that make his butt look good. You know, I try not to ship EVERYTHING that comes across my brain but the more I write on this series the more awesomely homoerotic it comes out, and i'm just fine with that.

Second Hand Sniz: This one honestly feels like a regular show script that got lost in time and wound up in 1996, toned down a bit as I could see this exact scenario happening with rigby. Sniz refuses to learn how to tell time, and so his roomates, fed up with his crap and him relying on them for the time (This was BEFORE everyone had 80 devices in their house that have a clock as a bonus feature, so you kinda had to back then). Does it make no sense they have no digital clocks in the mid 90's?

Even with a bunch of 20 somethings not having a lot of money they could still get one cheap.. or would just to shut Sniz up. But the antics that ensue from them writing "do not tell me the time" on his head, to Sniz deciding rather than learn to tell time to JUMP to the hot air balloon their in, ending up on a giant clock and learning the skill through trauma.. it's great. One of the best of season 1

Mr. Sniz's Wild Ride: Some aliens decide to take Sniz in as their mascot, and after some deliberation he accepts.. then regrets it when their annoyed they got exactly the hyperactive ferret they asked for. This one is okay but I do love the resolution that the aliens just shoot them out of the ship, as well as Fondue sneaking aboard to help Sniz. One of the weakest eps of season 1, but it's not TERRIBLE. It's just beige. Very beige.

Sneaky Clean: This is one of those episodes about GERMS kids shows did... and I GENUINELY had to check and make sure it wasn't just Hey Arnold that did this as that's the only one that came to mind, but it is a thing.

This one has a neat take as while it has the standard setup of "Character finds out germs are everywhere and takes it about as well as I took the cancelation of Close Enough", which is to say

Here Fondue just straight up builds a plastic germ free biosphere to live in. And spends it in his underwear because why not at this point. I haven't brought it up but under the characters skirts is tighty whiteys we see frequently because they did the research and kids think underwear is funny. Eventually Fondue realizes he's missing stuff, it's a heartwarming mostly naked ending.

The Borrowers: This one is okay but I do like the setup: Fondue borrows a quarter from what turns out to be a loan shark and our heroes try to escape the guy then try paying it off. I love how the loan sharks compound intrest is 300% a minute and how what sets off the plot, a call in radio contest, ends up solving it. I also like a bit abotu Fondue getting annoyed Sniz is stealing hotel towels. All in all it sure was average.

Dark Vator: At the Captain Sharpiro, the boys faviorite sci fi show, convention Sniz and Fondue get stuck in an elevator due to Sniz's hubris and Sniz of course thinks the best person to bring for help is the actor who plays captain sharpiro. You've seen this plot too. While Sniz and Fondue is fun, I didn't realize till reading it out how some plots are just.. things you've seen before. And would see again on Hey Arnold and done better because Hey Arnold is the best. Really gotta cover that show sometime. But i've still got a lot of kablam to cover so...

You Dummy: This one is just wholesome, then weird, then wholesome again: Fondue does some action figure theater for the roomies, and admits he wants to be a vintrioquist but dosen't have the bones for a puppet. Sniz makes him one in his unseen till now and possibly again workshop.

Then .. Fondue becomes obsessed with his puppet, despite being VERY bad at actually being a ventriloquist, Sniz feels bad and helps, and this causes fondue to spiral and Sniz to get jealous and nearly take a saw to the puppet. I do like how the climax is he just.. chips it slightly. And this still somehow makes it unusable. Once again I think of a show who did a similar plot slightly better, but for once i'ts not hey arnold but king of the hill. Granted in that one's case it both tapped into the hank bobby relationship well and had Dale Gribble obessed with murdering a dummy and put said dummy into a wood chipper while blindfolding it and mixing it in with two chairs and a tabogan before clorforming himself, so it's hard to compete. Still a great episode.

Making of a Supermodel: Okay THIS one is the weakest of season 1. It's the old "character wants to open toy, other character wants it mint in box, character opens thing anyway" thing. You've seen it before, they don't really do anything new or intresting with it here, and while Hey Arnold didn't do it better this time, Hey Arnold had higher standards than to do it at all.

Rage Against the Vending Machine: This one has a bit of a story. So for a good chunk of season 1, I used youtube since about a third of the season is missing from Parmount+ due to rights issues. I'll explain why later. So the thumbnail for this episode of KaBLam.. was what LOOKED like a naked Bianaca wearing a crown. So I was distracted not by the possibly naked woman, as while I am into many things the characters of this show aren't one of them, but more.. what the fuck was this episode about.

Turns out that wasn't bianca but a tiny naked man who makes novelties the guys go to complain to after not getting a plastic spider from one of those cool capsule things. Turns out, unsuprisingly, the very naked man is scamming people by not putting the spiders in and our heroes have to stop him from melting them all. THey also get bribed with their own vending machines full of nothing but spiders. Hopefullyt hey both took the bribe AND hauled his ass before the ftc. This one is fun though both for it's relatablity of wanting just ONE thing from one of those capusle machines and not getting it and the weird naked man. They just never adress that he's both tiny and naked and it makes it funny as a result.

War of the Super Geeks: Our finale and a really fun one. Sniz and Fondue fight over a prize inside a cereal box. Snuppa decides to turn this to his advantage by making them do a gauntlet that's doing chorse for him and bianca, making them brownies then doing their laundry, followed by a fight for their sick amusment. I not only like Snuppa turning this very stupid argument to his advantage, but also the fun of them: we have Fondue sabotaging snizz who has to scramble to buy store bought, Snizz and Fondue both giggling over Bianca's undies like the 12 year olds they are and the two deciding to share the toy and turn the whole mock trial thing Snuppa did to start this mess on the couple for their bs. A fun episode to close out a pretty solid season.

Action League Now! is probably the most famous of the KaBlam! shorts: It started on all that before here, got a burger king kids meal toy before eventually being repacakaged as it's own show after KaBlam! ended. If your not thinking of Henry and June when KaBlam! comes to mind, it's likely these guys. It's clear while Nick was Meh on KaBLam! after a while and kinda just.. gave up on it after the first season despite giving it three more, they LOVED Action League Now!

Action League Now! has a great setup: the characters are all action figures, whose world is integrated into ours: their soccer/football stadium is a game of fooseball, the couch is a canyon, and cars frequently run over our heroes as one of the most literal running gags i've ever seen. Action League Now! has a lot of clever world building and set design, using every part of the house and every household object possible to create it's world.. and mutilate it's characters.

Yeah Action League's other big hook is taking the hammer to it's main character.. and ceiling fan, rotating fan, waffle iron, lots of dropped objects, the same car over and over, and whatever else they can think up. How funny it is varies: when the show is being creative and using everything they can to attack our heroes, it's hilarious, comedy gold and great slapstick. But the show doe sfall back on "dropping things on them" or "running the characters over" at times , the same way. It just dosen't have the thrill of say, having Stinky Diver get eaten by a dog or melt man melted into a waffle. It's when the show puts some elbow grease into the slapstick and the world it's built that it's at it's best.

As for the in universe premise the setup is simple: The Action League are superheroes made up of random generic toys that a kid might have: The Flesh, a super strong, super naked and super dumb guy whose basically a stripped he man figure, Stinky Diver, an obnoxious asshole , diving expert and gi joe. Thunder Girl, she flies like thunder and is clearly a repurposed barbie style doll, and Meltman , a melted gi joe whose obnoxious as he is useless, and as a result gets most of the slapstick, which fills my heart with such joy. Suffer, suffer tiny melted man.

Helping them are the Chief, their boss and Bill, their lab guy. Well the Chief really just tells them to do stuff and berates them for being a cavelcade of Fuckups but someone has to.

The action leagues days are mostly spent opposing their arch enemy, the mayor, who has a unique weird raspy voice, kinda halfway to nixon, and is a delight as he comes up with various plans to kill our heroes and somehow hasn't been indicted.

Action League Now is not half bad. The animation style is unique, the cast, all from the radio show WDVE in Pittsburg is really dang good, my only real complaint is character wise the characters are mostly one gimmick. Stinky is an asshole who smells like one, The Flesh is stupid, Thunder Girl is constantly and rightfully shooting down melt man, and Melt Man sucks suprising no one. The show's creativity helps it along though ,as while most of the plots are stock, the sheer novelty keeps the show a humming and hopefully as we go we can see it evolve and really play with the brilliant setup it has here.

Road to Ruin: The Mayor drives around like an asshole and litters, fufilling his campaign promises but putting the world in jeapordy I guess Our heroes have to stop him and get hit by , run over by and generally futzed with by a car a lot. It was okay.

No Fly Zone: The Mayor squirts white Goo on thunder girl

This robs her of her powers just as the Mayor kidnaps some children to a bird house. This one was a lot of fun, from Thunder Girl trying to use ballons with Stinky naturally ruining it by harpooning her ballons, and the kids the mayor kidnaps because he has a quota of being an asshole to fufill by friday or his ass is on the line end up turning the tables.

The Wrath of Spotzilla: A two part adventure, and apparently the only two part short in Kablam! history. Granted every Action League Now! short is presented in two parts, but it's in the same episode. This is two diffrent shorts. Anyways an ancient moster, aka a cute doggo, is unleahsed and our heroes fail as usual. NOrmally if something has a dog in it it's automatically better and while Spotzilla dosen't hurt the episode they really dont 'do anything new in the "household animal is a threat to smaller creatures" concept. Or disaster movie parody. You wasted a dog Action League Now! Foreshame! Foreshame! Fore...

Nightmare on Memory Lane: This is a fun one: Meltman gets amnesia after he falls out a window, and needing a formula he stole from the mayor, the Action League tries to jog his memory.. by dropping things on top of him repeatedly while he reacts more bored than anything. IN other words this segment is pure comedy gold. Maybe it's the same reaction, maybe it's the carnage, maybe it's that I love to see meltman suffer.... we'll never know.

....

All of those things, it's all of those things.

Dog Day Afterschool: the mayor tries to shoot the Chiefs dog up into space.

So our heroes have to rescue him. As usual they fail kinda hard but he lands in the mayor's kitty pool hot tub so it's all good.. excep tfor the two women who were with him. I'm pretty sure they died as we never see them after the crash. People the Action League Have Murdered Somehow Count: 2

RoboFlesh: This is one of my faviorites of season 1, tied with one we'll get to soon. The Mayor decides to pull the old "evil clone" scheme, locking the flesh in a lunchbox with a deviled egg lure and debuting RoboFlesh... just as naked but with more bolts sticking out of his body, so .. sexier. And really RoboFlesh's deisgn is a major part of why I love this episode: jamming a bunch of screws into an action figure to make him an evil robot seems like something a kid would do, and as an added bonus NO ONE CAN TELL THEM APART. It's a classic evil twin joke sure, one is obvious.. but by making it THIS obvious, as well as having Robo Flesh have a robotic tin to his voice and you know, throw a cinderblock at the action league, it just ratchets it up. How they solve the dillema is also great.

Stinky Diver: I got this one. Hey stupid! The Flesh: Yes? Stinky Diver: That's him alright (Harpoons RoboFlesh into a blender)

IN the Belly of The Beast: The Mayor uses a vacum. This one dosen't suck, but it just may blow... it's average is what i'm saying. Good setup it just really doesn't use. It's also meltman centric. Though the rest of the team does mock him for trying ot be interim leader, so it at least has that.

Where Pidgeons Dare: My faviorite of the season, the premise is simple: the league has to guard the heirs to the queen of pidgeons. Instead of the mayor though the threat is our heroes are morons and the eggs keep getting destroyed. Also two kids steal one to throw it on the sidewalk while meltman tries to perform cpr. This one just has a LOT of good black comedy, and the ending twist, that they were somehow at the wrong nest, is great. As is meltman getting eaten by a snake.

Stink or Swim: Stinky has ptsd after his brother apparently drowned in a toilet. Everyone is a dick about him having ptsd. He manages to save everyone in the end. This one is alright.

Thunder and Lightning: The mayor dresses up as a new superheroine, lightning lady and upstages thunder girl. This one's okay, I do like how lightning lady uses various barbque related things to take out the boys, and how she smacks thunder girl with shrimp, but I have almost nothing else to say about this one. YOu've seen this plot before. Teen Titans did it better a decade later. Next.

Sinkhole of Doom; One of ALN's many pilots, Thundergirl has to rescue the mayor's hot son from a garbage disposal. Stinky Diver is a jealous douche. Thundergirl naturally chooses the mayor's son as unlike Meltman, his face is mangled but he still has a personality. And you know isn't meltman. A lot of great gags in this one, with both the use of the garbage disposal and most of our heroes getting caught on a ceiling fan.

Testimony of Terror: Another banger of a season finale, an obnoxious kid who was witness to the Mayor's crimes needs to be protected. Which crimes we don't know. Unfortunatley for our heroes the kid's abit of a monster and does creatively fucked up things from them, from putting stinky in a vcr which puts Stinky in the tv because science, to thunder girl getting bodied by a rotating fan, and of course my faviorite, meltman getting turned into a waffle. Naturally the kid also easily takes care of the mayor.. and then drops more shit on our heroes. Sounds like someone could easily win the recall election , eh kid. I mean it's clear the people of action league town lean right. Sociopathy is big in the party right now. not sure about 1993 but I like his chances. I don't really have a segue so...

Life With Loopy comes to us from Stephen Holman. Holman is an intensely weird and deeply fascinating man. Seriously I don't know what I was expecting on his KaBlam! wiki entry (Which by the by has been an invulable resource), but I wasn't expecting a performing artist who made short films, added live theater to them, and performed in venus across new york.

This does explain life with Loopy's unique style and blend of whatever styles holman could thrown in: Life with Loopy uses top motion puppets, but with flat magnetic heads to make expressions easier ot swap out. There's also live action charaters, hand puppets, and a general loose yet intreicatley built style I love about these shorts. They clearly took a lot of effort and Holman has my utter respect.

Life with Loopy came about because Holman pitched a diffrent short, meet the shrimpkins, to play between shows and during commericals, ala the adventures of pete and pete and ironically how Life with Loopy would be used later on Nicktoons. Nick wanted an animated segment with it and while Meet the Shrimpkins didn't go forward they loved said segment so much, Life with Loopy was added to KaBlam! and the rest is history.

Life With Loopy has a great setup: Larry, an 11 year old down to earth boy, relates the various misadventures of his sister Loopy, an energetic 7 year old. Each episode takes a problem a kid would have like not wanting to take a bath, loosing a goldfish or trying to get something from under the couch cushions and esclates it in glorious fashion: Loopy dosen't bathe for so long she grows a forest on her and becomes a national park, hearing the toilet leads to goldfish heaven leads to loopy traveling there, and the couch cushions lead to an underground world where various junk is smelted to power the earth's core. It's all insane, it's all insanely creative, and it's all wonderful. I dickered on if this was my faviorite or not.. but yeah, Life with Loopy is easily my favorite of the recurring segments, though Snizz and Fondue and the Off Beats both come close. But you just can't match this one for i'ts creatvitiy, unqiue style and heart. Loopy is endearing and relatable all at once and you can't help but root for her in whatever she's gotten into.

Hi-Fi Frankenstein: Larry is busy with a punk phase, calling people goobers while singing Beef Steak, great band name and as a nice touch the poster for Beefsteak is in the background of larry's room for the rest of the shorts, so Loopy does what any kid would do: she builds a robot out of an old stero. Robo-Larry is fine at first, but turns out to have gone all Ultron on the poor girl and wants to conquer the world for appliances. It's a great start for these shorts (not THE start but we'll get to that), a fun premise, and a sweet ending with Larry realizing how lonely his sister was and assuring her she's got him.

Trouble with Inflation: This one has another relatable premise: Loopy and Larry's easing going dad only gets mad at one thing. BILLS. BILLS BILLS BILLS. So Loopy wants to stop the mailman from delivering them. She tries being nice to the guy to stop delivering bills, then decides to just turn the house into a balloon. And in her defense while most mail carriers are just people trying to do thier job, this guy is a stone faced dick who just HAS to announce Loopy's dad got bills and creates a fucking sky bicycle.. which while impressive is still a dick move just to deliver a man bills.

The resolution is deeply sweet though: Loopy can't stop the bills, a fairly mature resolution.. so she just sends her dad a letter encouraging him and telling her she loves him instead.

Egghead: This one I remembered simply for it's unique puppet: Loopy is told, jokingly, that if she eats too many eggs, she'll become one. And sure enough this actually comes true and Larry, left babysitting loopy, has to keep a giant chicken from trying to hatch her. This one would be great enough for the egg puppet and utterly weird, even for this show, premise, but we also have a delightfully off exteriminator guy who can't help because there's a man sized giant mantis in his office he has to deal with.

Back To Nature: This one seemed pretty inocious for this show: Loopy refuses to bathe because "i'll just get dirty again" and in a rarity for this show her parents DO still try to get her to shower. Normally they just roll with whatever she's doing this week, which is adorable. They don't care if they end up in the sky, their daughter means well dang it. Her dad telling her she has to bathe as long as she's under his roof lead sto her camping outside and being declared a national park, easily my faviorite joke of this season of shorts. I had to pause for a moment because it's just.. so dang weird. And the fact THAT'S what gets her to bathe as the idea of tourists around her terrifies her? *chef's kiss*

Lunar Loopy: Another favorite of mine. Loopy wants to meet the man in the moon. We also get the first hint Larry has a scientific bent as he feels one isn't there due to science. Naturally he dosen't realize what show he's on and Loopy lassos luna to earth to prove her point. WE also get an utterly adorable moon dance party with the two. We also do have a man in the moon making shadowpuppets, a very weird man played byu the guy from the egghead short, now as an astronaut who got left behind by nasa and is greatful he can get off the moon, which loopy thankfully puts back before the earth is destroyed. A charming, wonderfully mellow short.

Goop on the Loose: Larry tries to figure out just the right goop for his hair while a can of mystery goop in the cabin turns into a gremlin. Loopy tries hunting it.. onlyf or the thing to abscond with her dad's wart. Also we get way too many shots of that wart. I do like the reveal the gremlin is made of wart remover.. and they got married in vegas. Good for them.

Goldfish Heaven: This one is the series actual pilot, with a slightly rougher style but I saw this one a lot as kid and love it dearly. So Loopy's goldfish dies and is flushe down the toilet. Being told this is goldfish heaven, she decides to travel there for closure, building an adorable goldfish suit. While a goldfish friend of her goldfish is a prick about it, her goldfish is fine with giving her closure and it's all very sweet. Also the design of goldfish heaven, essentially a giant fish tank is amazing as are the goldfish puppets. Great stuff.

Mother-Nature Bowl Off: Loopy's mom makes the mistake of telling her summer rain is just mother nature bowling, so Loopy goes ten rounds with her. I like the resolution: We know from the wraparound i'ts still raining so we assume Loopy looses.. but no she dosen't. Mother nature is just a sore looser. She's also kinda obnoxious making this my least favorite short of this batch, but it's still charming as usual. A meh life with loopy short is STILL a life with loopy short.

Mom's Mystery Casserole: Another faviorite of mine. Mom makes a weird cassarole every friday and after refusing to tell her kids what's in it, which I'm certain is against the Geneva Convention but whateves, Loopy sneaks into her moms cabinet and finds out it's fish sauce.. complete with a neat looking fish king inside. How she wins is also fun as the cans try to can her, only for Loopy to point out the fish sauce is terrible, the cans realize they have a bad rep and silence him

Revolutions Loopy Has Caused Count: 1

20,000 Leagues Under the Sofa: Larry looses his baseball in the cushions, and it turns out weird, cool looking molemen are smelting various things to power the earth's core. I just.. love the concept here.. as well as Loopy understandably shoving the ball in his face after he complains it's singed given she BARELY got it out from an incenerator. A solid end to a magical season

Promethus and Bob comes to us from Cote Zellers, who has a background in commericals, which tracks given P and B's short run times and simple premise: an alien came to earth in caveman times to teach a caveman how to do things from our modern society and presumibly his advaned one. He usually fails, often thanks to an asshole bastard butt monkey that's around. This is apparently his job.

Zellers pitched the idea to nick, though the original pitch was apparently much darker and involved Bob killing and eating promethus...

Yeah I didn't want to know that either but we're both stuck with that knoweldge. Nick liked the basic concept but asked him to tone it down.

Animation wise P and B is gorgeous, having beautiful claymation models with the two leads having just the best designs, Promethus having an emaciated, skinny look that feels utterly ailen while bob is more chonky and relatable. Like me. Monkey.. is a monkey.

P and B was amixed bag for me as the early shorts got pretty repettitive with only wheel standing out. However as I wrote this I found the later shorts.. are really damn funny. I enjoyed them at the time and it's clear Zellers realized they were getting sdamey and thus starts finding creative new ways to do the joke, with the presentation matching. This short went from a part of the episode I dreaded to a fun addition as anything else, and I look forward to seeing what these two doofuses have next.

Bowling: Okay admitely while i'm lukewarm on these shorts... even i'm not so stonehearted as to not love an alien teaching a caveman bowling. I'm not made of stone. I don't really remember this one but it gets a pass on the concept.

Wheel: This is a fun one as Prometheus instructs bob on the wheel and he naturally goofs on it. Clothes: Bob wears a vest.... it looks good on him and it's fun to see bob in a vest. That's all I got.

Music: Prometheus tries to teach Bob Music. This sure did happen.

Fishing: Prometheus teaches bob to fish. He eats for zero days.

Bridge: this is a fun one as it's less about "oh stupid caveman can't do people things", and more Prometheus simply mangles the lesson. He tries to teach Bob how to cross a bridge.. but uses a log, which isn't ideal for it and is less convent than bob just jumping to the other side. We also get a really fun bit of the two rolling on the long. Good stuff and what the series can be at it's best.

Shelter: This is another fun one as Promethus tries to teach bob to use a tent, wtih Bob trying to use shelter. Maybe I like these more than I thought. I love how both end up blowing away. The show really seems to work better when it's more character based, which yes both of them are silent but the puppets convey such energy and character.

Cooking: My second faviorite, Promethus tries to teach bob to cook.. and eventually gives up and just goofs around till his superior shows up and is an asshole about it. It's nice to both see WHY Prometheus is so uptight, he has to do this for work, and see him just.. have fun with bob instead of trying to force feed a lesson he's clearly not getting.

Kite: They fly a kite. That's about it.

Say it with me now They nervous, they nebbish, they small, and the Populars don't like 'em at all. But that's ok, life is sweet. They cool. They the Off-Beats...

The Off-Beats comes from Mo Willems who , out of the creators of these shorts is easily the most prollefic. He always loved animation, having drawn a cartoon a day while traveling the world, and making a successful name for himself on Seasame Street before making the Off-Beats for Nickelodeons. Starting out as "the Misfits" before the name was changed for legal reason, the Off-beats was originally a between commericals segment , something I remember as a kid, before becoming part of Ka-Blam!. Willems would go on to Cartoon Network making the short lived Sheep in the Big city, which I barely remember but do remember liking as a kid, and , to my shock, being the showrunner for Kids Next door's first four seasons. So yeah Mo was responsible for making one of my faviorite shows what it was, and then went on to do childrens books because he's a neat dude.

The Off Beats is essentially the early charlie brown specials mixed with some psychedelic minimalist backgrounds and some hope. It's not to say Peanuts lacks hope. As a huge fan of it, there's plenty of nice moments of kindness, camaraderie and snoopy's awkward teenage nephew

But the 60's era stuff Off-beats takes from had a nice heaping helping of

Charles Schultz did not pull punches at how cruel life, and especially kids would be: Charlie Brown rarely won, Linus was mocked for believing in the great pumpkin and patting birds on the head, Lucy once threw linus out for a period in the 70s, Peppermint Patty is deeply insecure. Even into the 90's there's a whole arc about Marcy's parents overly pressuring her. These kids went through it.

WIth the Off Beats while their still bullied by the populars, they have each other and have less brutal honesty with one another than the peanuts gang. Their just four pretty wholesome kids who happen to be kinda weird. WE have Betty Anne Bongo, a beatnik born thirty years too late (Played by Mischa Barton of all people), Tommy, a pretty mellow charlie brown looking kid who will snap at you at the drop of a hat. And he has a pretty sweet hat. Repunzil who has long hair, and the duo of August and September. August is a nerdy inventor kid who makes wacky inventions, and September is his dog, who replaces snoopy's whimsy and lack of awarness for anything going on with a dry wit and a desire to be left the hell alone, but a willigness to help in a pinch.

The Off Beats is a lot of fun. Granted as a peanuts fan, this is like catnip to me as it's a well done pastiche that gets what Schultz was going for but still makes it it's own, so i'm biased, but it's a well animated, charming mellow little piece unlike everything else. While the rest of the KaBlam! shorts are good, all of them have that manic 90's energy to them in some level. The Off-Beats is very much it's own weird thing and I wish it'd gotten it's own series, it's that good. it did get a valentine's special to add to my jumbly collection of KaBlam odds and ends I need to look at at some point after this retrosepctive, so that's nice.

The Robodog: September takes a day off so August decides to make hi m jealous with a robot dog that plays 4 ever. You can see where this is going

Okay not THAT far, but the dog does want to play and play an dplay, with August learning his lesson and September making the robot a ro-boy to play with. A charming if bizzare choice of start as it dosen't really.. introduce any other cast members of feature them.

Too Much Attention for September: This is a wholesome, fun little short. September just ants to take off a nap and blows off August to hang out in his flying machine. This ends up going badly as every other off beat gets getting in his face in teh way a kid would: betty anne wants him to "take it", Repunzil won't stop petting him and Tommy yells at him for not going bow wow. Thankfully his owner has a flying machine so we get a nice ending of September and August taking off into the sky.

Betty Anne's Glasses: The first one actually involving the populars. They cameo in Robodog but dont' really do anything there. Here their leader steals Betty Anne's glasses so we get hyjinks as they half assedly hide them. August also makes a device to find them but as it points out, is too chicken to actually confront the populars. Thankfully they all dress up like the president, easily my faviorite bit of the short as all September (making up the head) has to do is say he's from washington for them to buy it. The best of the best.

Surprising Shorts is any non main segment on KaBlam for season 1. I don't know if this holds for season 2 onward, but i'll likely be keeping the suprising shorts titlecard. These are the odds and ends, mostly pilots for shows. It's also one of the main reasons KaBlam is in copyright hell: see at least two shorts got picked up, one set, lava, was only leased out temproarily, and in general if an episode is missing from Paramount+ , it's usually due to one of these. Why they can't just edit the episode to remove the coming up things featuring them, I don't know.

Lava: A series of abstract shorts from french animator Fredrico Vitali. I.. don't have much to say about these. Their well animated but their also only 30 seconds and while this review has proven I love weird shit.. this is a bit much even for me with one short having a cat fly through space and then into the unvierse inside a dog's anus

Not bad, just not for me

Anemia and Iodine: My faviorite of these, it's a pilot for a story about two best friends: The chalky faced cat anemia and her.. whatever she is best friend iodine who along with Anemia's brother Dropsy go to an old house to find a cat ghost. Ther'es a really nice adam's family style quality with Anemia I love. The short oozes spooky charm, is fun and the twist ending of the cat they find being the ghost is all kinds of neat. The only thing I really don't like is Dropsy, who gets VERY grating despite the shorts runtime. Why Nick didn't pick this up, I really don't know.

Angela Anaconda: yes THAT angela anconda. This series getting picked up by Fox Kids is one of the main reasons you don't see it here. For those less familiar, Angela Anaconda is a slice of life sitcom using yearbook photos and clipart to tell the tales of her, angela and not nanette nanoir, Angela's smug arch enemy. I thought the series was fine as a kid, but these shorts ar ekinda rough> The art style isn't quite polished yet so it just looks offputting and it's mostly just Angela's habit of elaborate revnege fantasies on her enemies, from murdering nanette for getting her barred from the class picnic to fore marrying nanette to johnny abotti after Johnny picks nanette over her and gives her the valentine Angela made and okay maybe that last one's justifable homicide. Bobs Burgers would do this exact same plot better, but it's still not a bad pilot and gets the series across. Glad this one go tpicked up, not so glad nick apparently REALLY can't learn how to just edit these shorts out the way they did lava.

The Louie and Louie Show: This one has great leads, a chameleon named Louie (played by Jim Belushi) and Louie the hamster played by Billy West, who was nick's best boy at the time. It's a aweird duo but it works. the problem is the short.. just dosen't really work for me as the whole premise is the two want to be loved. That's it. The dog gets love but the family present just seems to neglect them and gets mad when , shockity shock, two neglected pets escape because they want attention. It's just way too mean spirited for me. Creator Gary Baseman WOULD go on to make Teachers Pet at least.. and also has a whole abstract art career so there's that.

So with that we've finally worked through the mountain of shorts for this season. But rather than leave it there i've decided in the spirit of the season finale for this season that for each of these reviews i'm proud to present

The Kablammy Awards

For these I'm picking the best short from each recurrnig series, the best of the various startling shorts, and the best short overall from the winners. It's just me.. which already makes it more reliable than the oscars. let's begin

Best Sniz and Fondue Short: Stuntbike Sniz. Second Hand Sniz was close, but this one just has so much goofy charm to it and that your the inspiration gag is an all timer.

Best Action League Now! Short: Testiomony of Terror just inches out Where Pidgeons dare. While I like WPD a lot.. Testimony of Terror just has so much clever carnage, a neat premise and a fun ending.

Best Life with Loopy Short: This was a hard one, with the Front Runners being Lunar Loopy, Mom's Mystery Cassarole and 20,000 Leagues under the sofa. But in the end I have to give it to Lunar Loopy for it's fun take on the " man in the moon, gorgeous visuals and wonderful little dance scene.

Prometheus and Bob: It's log , it's log it's big it's heavy it's wood. It's Log, it's Log it's better than bad it's good.

The Off-Beats: Betty-Ann's Glasses. All hail presdient September

Startling Shorts: Anemia and Iodine. It's not even close. None of the other shorts are horrible but none have this one's unique art style or charm.

Kablamiest Overall Short: It was down to Anemia and Iodine, Lunar Loopy and Betty Anne's glasses for this one but the winner issssss

Betty Anne's Glasses! Congrats. The president bit, as wellas how obviously bad the Populars are at hiding said glasses, wins this one the prize. Congrats off beats.

For now it's time to sign off kablmoids. There will be a look at season 2 next month, same kablam time, same kablam blog. Until next time, thanks for reading.