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psychovigilantewrites · 15 days

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Sunshine's Shadow - Chapter 2

WordCount: 10k

Ao3

A/N: I didn't realise how much of a slow burn this was. Also, this is unedited for typos and grammatical errors OOPSIES my adhd chaos just NEED TO POST THIS

Having your best friend back was a type of happiness you never knew you could ever experience. Especially after grieving him. There were no words to describe the way you just wanted to cling on to him, scared he would be taken away from you again.

The week went on with the both of you spending almost all of your waking time together. You had burgers during your stakeouts, listened to comedy podcasts, and you even taught Jason how to use your camera. You hadn’t noticed how much you were devoid of laughter until you started spending time with Jason and laughing until your stomach hurt.

There was definitely a pull, and you noticed the looks Jason had given you. You wondered if this was okay. You knew he had a crush on you from before, but you didn’t expect for him to still like you right now. You didn’t want to lead him on. You couldn’t lead him on.

You were with Dick, after all.

You sighed loudly.

“You okay there?” Jason asked from the passenger seat, mouth full of french fries. You couldn’t find much illegal activity from Thorne’s phone, as you suspected, but you did get to know of his accountant. It made sense for Thorne to have a personal accountant to deal with the money flow. Now the both of you were staked out of Mrs. Eriksson’s house.

“Oh- sorry,” you hadn’t noticed that you let your shadow grow. You closed your eyes and reeled the darkness in.

“No, you don’t have to do that,” Jason protested, “We’re staking out in the car at 12 AM. Some darkness would be a great cover.”

He was right. You let yourself go.

“What’s on your mind?” he prodded.

You bit your lip in contemplation. Should you bring it up? Or should you just leave it be? Jason was a smart, grown, adult man. He didn’t need to be told the obvious, right?

What was the obvious anyway? That you didn’t have feelings for him before he died? That wasn’t true. That you got together with Dick in order to replace the emptiness he left? How did you feel about him now, that he was back?

“Dick said you used to have a crush on me,” you said.

“That damned snitch,” Jason cursed.

“To be fair to him, you were dead when he told me,” you assured, “Plus, it’s not like I didn’t know. You know I can read people.”

Jason shifted in his seat. He was wearing a long sleeved gray Henley that did nothing to hide his muscles. Unlike Dick, Jason rarely styled his hair. He let the fringes of his straight dark hair down in front of his eyebrows and would occasionally push his hair back with his fingers.

“Yeah, I know,” he was running his hand at the back of his head, messing up his hair further, “Yeah, I had a crush on you. So what?”

You turned towards him and leaned closer, trying to catch his expression in the dark. You tried his method of intensity, piercing his eyes with yours. “How about now?”

You saw the minute details of his microexpressions. He blinked once, his eyebrows drawn together, his eyes darted to the left and you noticed he clenched his jaw. Finally, he smirked and looked at you again.

“You’re the one who can read people. You tell me.”

You could have said that you noticed the way he tries his best to not reach out and hold your hand, the way his eyes dart from your eyes to your lips from time to time, how he couldn’t stop looking at you, how he licked his bottom lip when you leaned in close. You could have said that all that points to at least some level of attraction, and maybe even more. You could have said that maybe you caught yourself doing those things too.

Instead, you said, “Anna Eriksson’s light switched on.”

You both turned towards the house and waited. Anna Eriksson was a wife and a mother of two. She exited her town house and unlocked her car, her long straight platinum blond hair held high in a ponytail.

“Finally, some action,” Jason said excitedly.

You tailed her dark sedan expertly until it slowly came to a stop beneath a complexity of overpasses in southwest of Old Gotham heading to Tricorner Yards. You drove a few blocks away further down the road and turned into an alley and parked the car. You could still see Eriksson from the zoom lens of your camera.

“I wanna see too,” Jason whined.

“You should have brought binoculars,” you rolled your eyes. “Really, aren’t you all a family of vigilantes? To think you’d be more prepared.”

Eriksson was leaning against her vehicle. Dressed in an all black pants-suit and smoking a cigarette, you thought she looked pretty cool.

“Oh, another car is coming,” you told Jason.

Another black sedan arrived and stopped right in front of Eriksson. You started snapping pictures.

“Who is it?” Jason demanded.

“Fucking hell,” you swore in surprise. The short, bald and overweight man who wore the tophat was known to anyone in Gotham. “It’s fucking Cobblepot.”

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Jason crossed his arms. “Kinda anti-climactic to be honest. Such a predictive plot.”

You ignored Jason and kept snapping photos. Oswald Cobblepot, the wealthiest criminal of Gotham City wobbled towards Eriksson and passed her a briefcase. Jason was right that it wasn’t surprising because it probably was not Cobblepot’s first play in politics. The exchange itself was brief, where Cobblepot said a few words to Eriksson who was nodding intently. Then, both of them left.

After tailing Eriksson back to her house, you called it a night and drove away.

“I wonder what the deal is,” you pondered out loud.

“Probably if Thorne becomes mayor, he would have Cobblepot’s funding in exchange for immunity in the underground,” Jason answered.

“But why Thorne and not Hill? What does Thorne have that Hill doesn’t?”

“Control over Gotham’s largest shipping company?” Jason offered.

“That may be it. We need more evidence,” you concluded. “Drop you off at yours again?”

Jason was staying in an apartment in East End on Kitt Street. You haven’t been inside, and he has not invited you in. You didn’t ask.

***

“Stake out with Jason again?” Dick’s voice made you jump.

You had just reached home and Dick was still in his Nightwing suit sans the mask.

“Yeah,” you walked over to him, “Found out Cobblepot is sponsoring Thorne.”

“Kinda expected, huh?” he smiled and wrapped his arms around your waist. “We found some blackmarket items at Dixon Docks the other day in Triton shipping containers. You think that’s related?”

“Definitely,” you agreed, “Just gotta get evidence. But enough about work, how are you?”

“Better now that you’re here,” he leaned in to kiss you.

“You’re all sweaty,” you half-complained as he started down your neck.

“You didn’t complain the first time,” he smirked, “Or the second, or the third, or the-”

“Okay, I get it,” you giggled.

He kissed back up to your lips and settled on a slow, gentle pace. He broke the kiss and said “Get in the shower. I’ll be there soon.”

Your eyes widen at his command and you immediately head to the bathroom and took off your clothes. The water temperature was just right and you stepped in and sighed, washing off the fatigue of the day. A pair of hands snaked around your waist from behind and Dick got wet with you.

He pressed himself against you and you could feel his hardening cock heavy on your back.

“Dick,” you whimpered, grinding your ass on his length.

“Nuh uh,” he teased, “Gotta clean you up first.”

He reached for the body wash and started lathering up soap on you. His strong fingers gently rubbed and slid on your body, down your tummy, in between your legs. “Dick,” you whined.

His fingers parted your lips and found your clit, immediately circling and putting just the right amount of pressure. He knew your body almost better than you knew yourself. All the times he experimented with you and pleasured you meant he knew which buttons to tease and which to push.

“Need- you,” you panted at him.

“Hold onto the wall,” he instructed. You pressed both your palms against the wet tiles and bent over. His hands were placed on your hips to give you support. You trusted that he would not let you fall. This wasn’t the first time you had shower sex with him after all.

“Fuck,” you moaned when you felt him fill you up to the brim. You were familiar with his cock, and how he liked to still inside you after the first push, to get you adjusted to his size but also to tease you. You got yourself ready for what was to come.

He slid out, and with the strong grip on your hips, he fucked you hard back on his cock, forcing the air out of your lungs. You never had time to scream when he was like this with you, because he would pummel into you relentlessly. All you could manage was eyes rolled into the back of your head, and an open wide ‘O’.

In no time at all, you came, and he still fucked you while you got down from your high before pulling out to finish on your ass. The water immediately washed away his cum. Dick was a silent lover, the only sounds he made were soft and quiet moans, a few gasps, and a small groan when he came.

You lost your grip and almost collapsed back onto him.

“You okay there, darling?” he held you up by embracing you in his arms.

“Mmm,” you hummed.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he chuckled and kissed your temple. “Let’s get you all dried up and tucked in.”

You laid on his chest, hearing his heartbeat. Your eyes were droopy.

“I’ll be going on a mission for a few days,” he informed you. “Leaving tomorrow night.”

“Oh,” you responded, slightly disappointed. “Batfamily or a team thing?”

“Team thing.”

Your chest squeezed.

“Will she be there?”

“Not sure.”

Liar.

“Jason will be there, though,” he added.

That surprised you. “Oh? How come?”

“I asked him if he wanted to do something with the others that didn’t involve Bruce or Tim,” Dick explained, “He agreed. I think it’d be good for him, don’t you?”

“The fact that he agreed means that he is trying his best,” you agreed, “I’m so proud of him.”

“I think spending all that time investigating with you helped him,” Dick said, “Like it was the first step to getting out of his rut, you know?”

“He didn’t even seem like he was in a rut when he was with me,” you wondered back, “I mean- I knew that he was struggling in general with the whole guilt and self-loathing. But I didn’t know he was completely cut off from everyone else.”

“Not completely,” Dick sighed, “But he might as well have been. He tries, though.”

You smiled. Jason always tried his best at anything. “How long will you be away for?”

“Just three or four days. We’re going somewhere south this time. Nothing too big. Bane sighting, so just a recon for now unless we hit something big.”

“Looks like I’ll be on my own for a while, then,” you thought out loud, “I think I’ll just send in my first round of evidence and report to my client. It’s just Thorne’s accountant that is linked to Cobblepot for now, so if they want a deeper investigation linking back to Thorne, they’ll have to wait a little longer while I figure it out.”

“Try not to stir up the pot too much with Thorne, please,” Dick insisted, “I know you can take care of yourself, but I also know you don’t want any attention. It’ll be harder to do future jobs too if everyone knew who you were.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you conceded. You were getting sleepy again. “I’ll figure it out without exposing myself. Considering that I’m high in demand right now means that I should start laying low.”

“They should pay you more,” he stated. “Sleepy? Goodnight, darling. I love you.”

Your eyes closed as you mumbled back a reply.

***

The days that went by were uneventful, but that meant that you had time to sit back and reset.

Dropping off the evidence and report at a different locker from the first, you now had to wait a day before Dick and Jason came back from their mission. You usually dealt with being alone well, but for some reason you felt a tension in your shoulders. This usually happened when Dick was on a mission that lasted more than a couple of days, and especially if she was involved.

Unpleasant memories gnawed at your mind, so you forced them away by reorganizing your case files, your liquor cabinet, and your wardrobe. These were basically the only things you had in Dick’s apartment. You didn’t get attached to things, so the clothes you owned were just the essentials based on occasion- for when you needed to be professional, for when you needed to dress up, for when you needed to seduce, and for the everyday casual. You noticed a lot of dark colors. Navy, midnight, dark brown. Those were the colors you felt most comfortable in. Muted, and in the shadows, where you felt like you belonged.

That was how you kept yourself busy until both of your boys came back. You were anxious and on edge even worse than before, your gut making you feel uneasy. Intuition was one of your strengths, and that made it easier for you to tell what other people are thinking.

Dick had texted you before he returned, a ritual of his. He would always let you know when he was on the way home, safe. A portion of the tension was relieved, but you still felt like a rubber band stretched and waiting to snap.

It was sunset when you heard the familiar jingle of keys muffled behind the door. You stood up from the sofa and straightened your clothes, ready to greet him.

When you saw his face, you gasped.

“Dick! What happened?” you rushed to your partner. He had a large bruise forming on his left cheekbone, spreading to his slightly swollen eyes. “I thought you said it was just a recon.”

He averted his eyes from yours as he closed the door. You went to the freezer to get an ice pack you always kept handy and went to press it on his face.

“I’m fine, really,” he tried to awkwardly smile.

“It’s not everyday you come back with a bruised face,” you worried, “Who managed to hit you? Bane?”

“No,” he couldn’t meet your eyes again. He took the ice pack from you and sat down on the sofa. You took a seat next to him.

“Then?” you persisted. “Tell me.”

Dick closed his eyes and sighed. “Jason did.”

“Jason? What do you mean Jason?” you questioned, perplexed. “Jason punched you in the face?”

He turned his head away from you. It was obvious based on his body language that he was extremely uncomfortable and was hiding information from you. You didn’t need to be a pro to tell that.

“Yeah.”

You blinked. “Dick. I want to hear everything.”

“Yeah, I know,” he replied quietly, “You should know.”

Silence.

“Well?” you probed.

“It was, uh, after the mission. Everything was done and everyone had packed. We were at HQ,” he began, still speaking quietly and averting his eyes. “I was in the living room with Kori. We were just talking.”

At the mention of her name, you now knew where this was going. You felt a heat creeping up your neck and settling in your cheeks, burning. Your heart started racing. Your chest tightened until it started to hurt. Suddenly, all the memories you wanted to push away came flooding back.

Her touch on his shoulder. His eyes lighting up at his phone. You mistaking his phone for yours and seeing her messages. You crying, him apologizing. Nothing has happened between us, he promised. They’re just text messages. We’re just good friends. She’s hardly even on Earth these days.

You bit your lip and turned away, eyes brimming with tears you did not want to let fall.

“…one thing led to another, and,” he continued, “We kissed. Only for a moment. It was less than a second, I swear. Jason walked in on us and he just- he flipped. He grabbed me and punched me in the face. Said a lot of nasty things to both of us. Roy had to break it up, or things would have escalated.”

You remained silent, not knowing how to respond, not knowing what to even feel.

“Darling?” he turned toward you this time to look at you. You were staring straight ahead. “I promise, it meant nothing. It hardly even counts as a kiss. Nothing happened after. I didn’t even say goodbye to her, I haven’t said anything to her after I left.”

You turned to him, now feeling something. Heat, and anger. How dare he.

“It was just a short kiss?” you asked.

“Yeah-“

“But it would have been longer if Jason had not interrupted,” you stated.

“W-what-“

“But it would have possibly led to more than just a kiss if it weren’t for Jason,” you monotoned.

“I… I don’t know,” he admitted.

“Then, Dick Grayson,” you stood up, “We are done.”

You stormed off to your room, Dick following behind you.

“Darling, please!” he called, “Let’s talk about this. Please.”

You grabbed your phone and sent a quick text to Jason.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you said coolly. You opened your closet and reached for your backpack.

“Where are you going?” he asked, eyeing your overnight bag.

“That’s none of your business,” you fumed, walking past him toward the door. “There are so many things I want to say to you right now, but I am not in the right mind, and I will end up saying things I will regret.”

“I deserve everything you say to me.”

“You self-pitying bastard!” you turned and roared at him, “How dare you use your own guilt on me. You manipulative piece of-“

You stopped in your tracks, trying so fucking hard to reel in your shadow, to control yourself. You counted backwards. Dick knew not to disturb you at this state.

With one last deep breath, you left.

***

coming over. be there in 30.

Jason had not expected that text from you so soon. He knew you would have found out eventually, because if Dick had the nerve to lie to you, then he would be the one to tell you. It must have been difficult for Dick to tell you the truth, Jason thought. But Dick must have weighed out his options. His older brother knew that lying would have made him looked worse because there was no way Jason was going to keep you in the dark about something like that.

He was worried. Any other man who was in love with you would have been happy to hear that you were coming to them teary and heartbroken by your boyfriend. Any other man would have taken advantage of your vulnerability.

But Jason genuinely did not want you to feel that kind of pain. He wanted to protect you, he wanted you to be happy. You were his best friend. Which was why he was so fucking angry with Dick. How dare he.

He waited outside by the road for you and saw your familiar black sedan pulling over. The next thing he knew, you were in his arms, sobbing into his shirt. He placed a hand on the back of your head, and the other on your waist.

“I know, sunshine, I know,” he whispered to you. The both of you just stayed there in that position for a while. The streetlights were on, and the working class were heading home for the day. Some stared, but quickly averted their eyes when Jason glared at them.

Once you calmed down a little, Jason guided you up to his apartment. “It isn’t much,” he said, anxious about you seeing his tiny place.

It was a single bedroom, with a small battered up sofa and an unplugged TV on the floor. The kitchen area consisted of a single stove next to a small sink with overhead cabinets. One lone fridge stood next to the stove, and a circular dining table with a plastic chair was placed in between the kitchen area and the living room. He hadn’t invited you in this whole time because he didn’t want you to see the sorry state of his current home.

“I haven’t had time to properly get furniture or like, decorate or anything,” he continued. Not like he thought that you were going to judge, but Jason was proper in that sense, where he felt like his guests needed to be comfortable. He did eventually want to do some interior designing, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to put in effort into a temporary space. He eventually would want to move to a bigger apartment.

“It’s fine, Jay,” you sniffled, moving towards his sofa to sit down. Jason gave you a glass of warm water and sat down next to you. “Thanks. Sorry to barge in on you like this.”

“You can barge in anytime, you know that,” he nudged you with his shoulder. “So, come on. Talk to me.”

You looked at him with large watery eyes, and a trembling lower lip. Jason’s heart broke for you.

“He told me why you punched him,” you started, “Thanks for that, by the way.”

“I would have done more,” he grit. Roy shouldn’t have stopped him.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

“You already know what happened.”

“Not all of it,” you bit your lip, “He said that you were cursing at them. And Roy had to break it off.”

’You piece of shit, Grayson. What is wrong with you? Who do you think you are where you can do anything you want?’ Jason had said to a guilty looking Dick who was massaging his face after the punch. Starfire was next to him, silent. ‘Your whole Golden Boy persona was just to fool everyone around you, after all, huh? No wonder Barbara left you.’

‘Jason-’ Starfire had interrupted.

‘And you,’ he turned towards her. ‘You’re supposed to support other women, not sabotage them and tear them down.’

‘Don’t bring her into this, Jason,’ Dick defended, ‘You know her customs are different.’

‘Bullshit. You don’t get to use that as an excuse anymore. You’ve been here for what, a decade already? You know how we are. You can feel how we are. Time to stop fucking playing dumb, you’re not fooling me.’

‘Jason,’ Dick angrily stepped up to him, ‘Take a walk.’

‘How about you go fuck yourself, you cunt,’ Jason shoved him back, ‘Do you have any idea how long it took for her to trust anyone? Do you have any idea how much of a fucking asshole for you to be in order to hurt someone like her? You’re a fucking sham, Grayson. You’re a narcissist who manipulates people into doing whatever the fuck you want them to.’

‘What’s going on here?’ Roy had stepped in.

‘That’s what you did, didn’t you?’ he went on, ‘She was grieving, and one day she was crying and I bet you swooped in just to fuck her-’

‘You going to tell her, then?’ Dick had smirked. He had fucking smirked at Jason. ‘Isn’t this the perfect opportunity for you? You wanted her all along, right? So you’re going to tell her so she can finally see you as her knight in shining armor? Because whatever you did wasn’t working, trying to sweeten her up by calling her- what was it? Sunny, and Sunshine-’

Jason had it, then. He looked at Dick straight in the eye and-

“I spat at him,” he told you, omitting the rest. “Roy had to stop us then.”

“You didn’t,” you gasped. “Oh Jason, you really didn’t have to.”

“It just happened,” he said honestly, “Everything that happened, it was just instinct to me. I couldn’t let him get away from hurting you.”

You stared at him, and then tackled him into a bear hug.

“Jason, you’re the best,” you said into his chest. “I’m so glad I have you.”

Jason’s chest tightened with longing.

“I know, Sunny. I’m pretty awesome.”

You giggled.

Jason loved making you laugh.

“Could I stay here for a while?” you looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Just a week or two. I’m going to talk to the landlady and see if my old place is still available.”

“Stay as long as you like,” he smiled, caressing your hair.

“I’ll take the couch.”

“What? No. You take the bed. I’ll take the couch.”

“I can’t take your bed,” you rolled your eyes at him, “This is your place. You’re doing me a favor.”

“I’m not letting my guest-” he booped your nose, “take the couch.”

“I’ll just sleep here then and you can’t do anything about it,” you insisted stubbornly.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Jason stood up without warning, and then grabbed you by the hips, lifting you up and throwing you onto his shoulder in a fireman’s carry.

“Jason- what the fuck!”

“I’m doing something about it,” he chuckled.

“Jason, put me down!” you slapped his back.

He carried you to his room and-

“Put you down? Okay,” he threw you onto his perfectly made king sized bed. He stood looking down at you with his hands on his hips and grinned triumphantly.

You pouted at him. “Fine. How about we both take the bed.”

Jason’s heart skipped a beat. “What? No.”

“There’s plenty of space for the both of us!” you argued. “And we used to have sleepovers all the time.”

“That was before!” he argued back, “We can’t share a bed now.”

“And why not?” you demanded.

“It’s inappropriate. You’re a girl, and I’m a guy.”

“It’s only inappropriate if you’re planning to do something inappropriate. Which you aren’t, are you?”

Jason felt heat in his cheeks and silently cursed himself for acting like a school boy.

“Of course not!” he huffed.

“Then there’s no problem, is there?” you gave him a smug look.

Jason silently scowled at you. “Fine.”

“Great, now I call dibs on the bolster.”

Jason didn’t bother arguing with you, because whatever you wanted, he knew he couldn’t say no.

***

In truth, you didn’t want to be alone.

It was funny how you were so used to being alone, and have always found comfort with your own company. Yet this time, the loneliness scared you. You didn’t want to be alone anymore, and Dick doing that to you triggered a kind of fear that you didn’t know existed.

A long time ago, Jason had made a joke about how sharing a room with you meant he could get better sleep since you made it dark and he didn’t need blackout curtains. You realized now that everything he said to you was a way to make you feel better about your shadow, even if you didn’t show any insecurity. He found little ways to let you know how much better it was with your shadow.

After dinner, which was just instant ramen and eggs that Jason had overcooked, the both of you watched a movie on your laptop in bed. Jason had fallen asleep halfway, and you suddenly felt bad for imposing on him. He must have been tired from the mission. You put your laptop away and layed next to him, attempting to fall asleep as well.

But there you were wide awake, suddenly hyper-aware of your own looming darkness around you and Jason’s back facing you. Dick was not your first, but he was your first serious partner. You really loved him, even then as you lay heartbroken.

Fighting back tears, you tried concentrating on Jason’s steady breathing.

He was breathing. He was alive. This time last year you were still mourning him, trying to move on by clinging onto Dick.

Was that what Dick was to you? Were you with him just so you could have an idea of how it would be like if you were with Jason?

Then why did this hurt so bad?

You woke up the next morning to Jason still sleeping next to you. His slight frown that was ever present relaxed slightly while he was asleep. You used to do this last time, too. Whenever you had sleepovers, you would observe him. How his lips were slightly parted, how he would bundle up in the sheets like a burrito. He hadn’t changed in that aspect.

Small scars littered his face, more than before. His eyelashes were slightly longer and darker, as were the circles under his eyes.

He stirred. You quickly turned to lie on your back.

“Hnggh,” he stretched and yawned, “Oh, you’re awake. Mornin’. Sleep okay?”

“Mhm,” you nodded and moved to get up, “How about you?”

“Not so good,” he rubbed his eyes and looked at you, “Someone was snoring super loud.”

“I do not snore!” you hit him with a pillow.

He laughed.

You cooked breakfast this time, scrambled eggs on toast while Jason waited. While you were eating with him, you asked, “Hey. Do you think you can come with me to Dicks’? I told him to pack up my stuff. It’s not much, but I’d like the company.”

***

Jason noticed you were biting your nails as you drove to Dicks’.

He felt bad for you in your anxious state, the interior of the car much darker than outside. He would have to keep a cool head while he was there, because it wasn’t about him. He was only with you for moral support.

You unlocked the apartment door with your key and turned the knob.

“Baby!” Dick approached you but paused when he saw Jason. “Oh, you’re here too.”

Jason raised an eyebrow.

“I told you not to be here, Dick,” you groaned. “Did you even pack up my stuff?”

“I did,” Dick followed you into your room, “But I wanted to talk.”

Jason let you and Dick have some space, but hovered closeby to make sure you were okay.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you shoved a box into Jason’s arms. “Could you help carry a couple of these? It’s not much, I promise.”

“Sure,” he mumbled back as you stacked another box on top.

“You can bring these to the car first?”

He glanced at Dick. “You going to be okay on your own?”

“I can take-”

“I know you can take care of yourself, but that’s not what I meant,” he said sternly.

You paused. “I’ll be alright. Thank you.”

He left and loaded the car. He walked back to the apartment.

“-you know how I felt about you. How I still feel about you,” Jason overheard Dick. He entered the apartment quietly to watch the two of you talk.

“No, I don’t. I have always felt insecure about her and you knew that. I always suspected that you guys weren’t actually over,” you put a box on the counter and crossed your arms at Dick, lips trembling.

“I’m really sorry that I made you feel that way,” Dick replied, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “But we were there for each other. We both mourned together. That’s not something I shared with anyone else.”

You turned away and glanced at Jason for a moment, who gave you a small encouraging smile.

He hated seeing Dick touch you the way he was.

“And I cared for you and stayed with you,” Dick continued, “Even though I knew that it wasn’t me that made you stay. Even though I knew the whole time you wished I was Jason.”

Jason saw a flash of anger in your eyes, and you slapped Dick’s hand away.

“Richard John Grayson,” you fumed.

Jason recognized the change of aura even though he had not felt it in years. Suddenly, the room grew dark, as if an eclipse were happening right outside.

“How dare you insinuate that I was thinking of another man while I was with you,” you growled, “How dare you think that I stooped that low. That you think I have no decency and dignity to do that to you, when you were the one who kept on running behind my back.”

Behind you, a darkness grew and grew, distorting the lighting in the room in impossible ways. Dick took a step back from you. This was what scared everyone else away from you.

But to Jason, this was one of the most beautiful forms he saw you as. A dangerous, powerful dark queen. He stared in awe at you, his heart racing because he forgot how much he loved seeing you like this. It was as if he had fallen in love with you all over again for the very first time.

Then, Jason remembered where you were, and he knew you would regret it if you were to accidentally cause any harm to Dick.

“Hey, Sunshine,” he stepped in, “The car’s all loaded and ready to go.”

Your eyes snapped back at Jason, and then darted towards Dick. There was a slight panic on your face before the room was bright again.

***

There was a specific kind of anxiety you felt when you feared judgment coming from someone you love, and whose opinions matter to you. You noticed that Jason had been sneaking worried glances at you as you drove back from Dicks’, and even as you both carried your things up to his apartment.

Was he wary of you now? You had lost control of your shadow for a moment when you were angry at Dick. Jason had snapped you back to reality, but you saw the look on his face. Eyes wide with shock and worry.

“I understand if you don’t want me to stay here anymore,” you said when the both of you finally put all your things down in Jason’s apartment. “I have money and I can find a place to stay.”

Jason crossed his arms at you. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” you hesitated, looking anywhere but his piercing gaze. Suddenly the peeling paint on the walls felt more interesting. “You saw what happened. I understand if you don’t want that kind of danger around you.”

“That kind of danger?” Jason repeated before realizing what you meant. He sighed and walked toward you, skipping past the boxes on the floor. Towering over you, he lifted your chin up with a finger. “Do you think I’m afraid of you?”

“You looked like you were…”

You saw his frustration. “Tell me, amongst the both of us, who here has actually hurt Dick?”

You blinked at him.

“You have this- this darkness, right? Do you think getting beaten to death, resurrected in some weird magic cartoonish toxic waste looking pit and then brainwashed wouldn’t affect me and make me have some kind of darkness as well? Between you and me, I have caused way more destruction than you have. Way more. Do you really think I’d be afraid of you?”

“Well- but- you don’t have this uncontrollable power that could hurt the people you love at any time!” you argued.

“Sunny, listen to what you’re saying!” he responded incredulously, “I literally tried my best to hurt the people I love. You have been trying your best to protect them. Haven’t you?”

You avoided his piercing gaze by looking away. “I guess.”

“So don’t be silly,” he booped your nose, “Put away your things and stay as long as you want. Make a grocery list to stock up the fridge, and maybe help decorate the place a little, huh?”

“Yeah, okay,” you smiled sheepishly at him. “But I don’t want to stay for long. Just until I get somewhere more permanent. There’s only one bedroom and you snore.”

“I do not!” he huffed as he helped pick a box of your clothes to bring to the room.

“Jason?” you called out. “Thank you.”

He shrugged. “Don’t mention it.”

The days flew by and you found it hard not to enjoy this new routine that you and Jason had built. It wasn’t dissimilar to Dicks’ as Jason also went out at night for patrol. The only difference was that he didn’t have a day job, which made you question how he could afford his bills and rent.

“I have my ways,” he simply replied when you brought up the subject. It was dusk on the eighth day you were there and he was armoring up for the night, double checking his weapons and gadgets.

“Are you still doing illegal nightly activities?” you asked.

“We’re a family of vigilantes,” he managed to give you a roll of his eyes before putting on his helmet. “Everything we do is illegal.”

You approached him and placed both your palms on either side of the shiny red metal helmet that were littered with scratches and scuff marks. You could hear his crackled breathing through the built-in voice changer.

“You know what I mean,” you said, rubbing off a mark where his brow should be.

A pause. “Yeah, I have some arrangements with some contacts. But it’s nothing that can harm anyone. No drugs or trafficking or anything. Some smuggling of rare goods. Antiques.”

“That’s good,” you smiled, “I’ve dabbled in some black market antiquities myself.”

“You have?” you heard the surprise in his mechanical walky-talky like voice.

“Mhmm,” you nodded, “For a client a couple years ago, and only for a few months. I enjoyed the research, but I find that investigating interpersonal relationships and people was more fulfilling. Which is why I try not to take cases that want me to help take down someone’s competitor. Unless it’s a whistleblower type, then it would be my number one priority.”

“How honorable,” he joked.

“Shut up, Darth Vader,” you laughed, then without thinking, tip-toed to place a peck on the cool metal. “Stay safe, Jay.”

He didn’t reply immediately, and the only thing you could hear was his breathing. The silence made you anxious. Perhaps you shouldn’t have done that?

“Good night, Sunny,” he finally said, and then left through the balcony.

***

It was 6 in the morning on the eleventh day you were staying at Jason’s house when he returned from his night out. His shoulders and neck ached, and he didn’t know whether he wanted to eat or sleep. But the thought of getting under the covers with you by his side helped him with his decision.

He climbed down the fire escape and jumped onto his balcony, avoiding the new potted plants you had gotten him just a few days ago. He slid open the door and started to take off his boots at the same time before pausing at the sight of his dining table.

You were asleep with your head rested on your crossed arms on the table, papers scattered everywhere. He made you promise that night before he left that you would sleep early and take it easy with your work, but since the published article and the following public statement from Thorne, you heard back from your client to go harder.

He took off his helmet and threw it on the sofa. Approaching you quietly, he tip-toed to the dining table and smiled softly. He contemplated carrying you to the room, but he knew he couldn’t pick you up without waking you up.

“Hey there, sleepy head,” he softly whispered and put a hand on your back. You stirred awake.

“Jason?” you mumbled, lifting your head up and blinking. “What time is it?”

“Just after six,” he answered. “Go to bed. Come on. I’ll join you in a sec, too.”

You nodded and yawned, then stumbled to the room. Jason held back a chuckle when he saw you sprawled on top of the sheets.

He washed up and looked at his own reflection in the foggy mirror. He frowned at the hideous scars on his body. Mostly old, some new ones. A bruise was forming across his left rib where he got punched the day before. He quickly put on his shirt, trying his best to hide his ugly body from you.

***

Your neck was stiff when you turned to your side and saw Jason sleeping soundly next to you. He was on his back, his head turned away to the other side. You watched as his chest rose and fell with every breath. You smiled to yourself when you remembered he had woken you up and made you sleep in bed. You needed to move out soon. You felt bad for taking up his space.

As you were watching him, you noticed out of the corner of your eye that his shirt rode up slightly, revealing his tummy that you knew were hard to the touch. You frowned at the faint scars that littered his skin. You had always liked that about him. Scars on a man was so badass, and you knew Jason was very very skilled at fighting. Those scars showed experience in hand to hand combat with multiple weapons and tools, something you respected.

Your eyes trailed down to his sage green shorts. It wasn’t your fault, you were just following his happy trail in that direction. Your eyes widen and you blushed at what you were seeing. Was… was he hard? No. Not fully. But still, you could see the loose fabric of his shorts stretch out and form the silhouette of his bulge. Your heartbeat quicken and you felt a familiar warmth at the base of your stomach.

Men often got hard when they slept, and contrary to popular belief, it sometimes did not have anything to do with spicy dreams. As their body phased into the rest and digest state, their heartbeat slows, their breathing deepens, and well, they get erections. So now you found yourself breathing hard through your nose at the sight of Jason’s chub, his semi-boner, his leaning tower of-

You closed your eyes.

You had a crush on Jason before, yes, but that was before your sexual awakening. You never had dirty fantasies of him. Just holding hands and kissing in the cinema. And when you were hanging out with him, perhaps you had forced those thoughts away since you were with Dick and would have felt bad for thinking of his brother that way.

But now there was nothing stopping your thoughts from running wild. You opened your eyes again, but looked upwards instead, to his neck stretched out and bare to you. Subconsciously, you licked your lips at the sight of his jugulars, the curvature of his well-developed SCM muscle that made you want to litter little love bites on-

You got ahead of yourself for the first time regarding Jason. And now that you have, you knew there was no way your overactive imagination was going to calm down everytime you looked at him.

You spent the next couple of hours outside on the sofa with your legs up and stretched, switching back and forth between reading a dirty novel to scrolling on your phone. Around 4 in the afternoon, Jason woke up and took a seat next to you with his own book and phone. You curled your legs to make room for him to sit, which he did, but then he took your calves and pulled your legs to rest on his thighs.

You tried hard to read the paragraph you were on. ‘His chocolate brown eyes burned into hers as she watched him crawl between her legs-’

Suddenly you felt the skin of your lower legs burn as Jason rested his forearms on them to read his book. You peeked at him from above your novel and saw his messy bed hair and frown and oh, God he was looking at you.

“What’re you reading?” you quickly blurted to cover up the fact that you were staring at him.

“Middle Eastern history,” he replied, “You?”

Oh, no. You hadn’t thought this far. “Oh. Just a novel.” You hid your face behind your book again.

You felt Jason shift closer to you. “Ooh, a romance novel?”

“Yes.”

He was leaning nearer to read the synopsis at the back. You quickly closed the book and glared at him.

“What’s wrong?” he chuckled, “I just wanted to see what it was about.”

“You wouldn’t like it anyway,” you crossed your arms.

“Or, you don’t want me to know you’re reading smut,” he grinned.

“Am not!” you huffed, putting your knees up in a fetal position, but with your back leaning against the sofa arm.

“I think I saw the word sexy and breathless there,” he teased, reaching out to grab the book from you.

In panic, you threw the book across the room. Jason’s eyes widened in shock at where the book landed. Then he looked at you. And then he burst out laughing.

“So it was smut!” he guffawed.

“Shut up!” you yelled.

He rested his chin on top of your knees and watched you. “Aww, you’re blushing!” he teased again, “No, no, don’t cover up your face, you’re cute when you blush!”

That made you blush even harder. You peeked at him through your fingers and saw that he was still resting his head on your knees with a massive grin on his face. “Don’t call me cute!”

His grin turned into a soft smile. “But it’s true.”

Now you felt like it was your eyes that were being burned into by Jason’s blue ones. His stare had always been so intense, even back when you were teens.

The both of you suddenly were staring at each other for what felt like eons. Suddenly you felt awkward, and you broke eye contact.

“Anyway,” you looked away and got up to a proper sitting position, causing Jason to resume his as well, “What’s for dinner? Wanna go out? I feel like going out.”

You couldn’t bear to be in close proximity with him any longer. You felt like you were going to explode into flames.

“Oh, finally leaving the rabbit hole of old corruption cases, are you?” he retorted.

“You can’t blame me, Jay,” you pouted, “Didn’t you read what they said! It was so infuriating. I would have preferred if they came up with a lie instead.”

After sending your client the photos of Thorne’s accountant meeting up with Oswald Cobblepot, the article made the front page of Gotham Gazette, the author under a pseudonym. The relationship between a well known criminal and the mayoral candidate’s accountant was reported along with the photo you took. There was an uproar on social media and a press conference. Two days after that, another report.

Thorne basically didn’t bother to cover anything up but denied it with a smirk on his face, ridiculing the journalist. Whoever wrote that he had said, has been skulking old internet forums full of conspiracy theorists- and probably has seen one too many YouTube videos on Photoshop. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were a Flat Earther. However, I must express my disappointment in Gotham Gazette. I thought they were a proper news source and not a tabloid magazine.

Along with his smile, charm, and wit, his statement won over everyone again. The next day you received another text promising even more money if you get concrete evidence, bank and witness statements, audio or video recording, or official documents from legitimate sources incriminating Thorne.

“I get it,” Jason nodded, “And the offer for help is still up.”

Jason had suggested breaking into his home.

“I know. When the time comes, Jay. Not now. I still need to piece some things together. And his security is tight. We might need another method.”

“Just let me know when, and I’ll drop everything to help you,” he said seriously. Before you could protest, he continued. “All this Middle Eastern reading makes me want shawarma before going out tonight. I have a… business meeting.”

“Antiquities?” you asked.

“Yeah, some stone inscription.”

“Can I tag along?” you inquired excitedly. “I need to take a break from the cases and come back with a fresh perspective. Only if you’re okay with it. I know there’s probably some hierarchy thing going on.”

“Hierarchy thing?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you’re the boss man aren’t you?” you poked him. “You can’t just bring some girl to a business meeting.”

“Because I am the boss man, I can do whatever I want,” he shifted towards you and booped your nose. “And you’re not just some girl.”

You looked away to hide the creeping blush again. What was wrong with you?

“Anyway, sure you can tag along.”

“Yay!” you got up and grinned. “Let me find something to wear.”

You dug through your box of clothes and found black tights, a form fitting black jersey jacket and a black mask that covered your mouth. This was what you usually wore when you had to sneak around.

“Uh,” Jason scratched his head, “No. Wait, turn around.”

You obliged.

“Yeah, no,” he stated, “That material is too thin. Do you have a kevlar vest or something?”

You frowned and went to dig up your old kevlar vest from another box.

“Perfect!” he clapped, “No, hold on. Here.”

He forced you into his oversized black hoodie over the bulky vest. “Now it’s perfect.”

“Jason, I look so chonky!” you complained. “Why can’t I be cool and stylish like you?”

“Because my outfit is already bullet-proof,” he said smugly, “You need to be protected just in case. Now stop pouting and wait here while I change.”

After the both of you got ready, he took you down to another alley into a garage he bought and revealed his 1969 Chevrolet Impala.

“We’re not taking your bike?” you asked, slightly disappointed. You sat in the passenger seat and heard him turn on the engine, the loud rev making you jump.

“We have precious cargo,” he explained.

“Oh, right! The slab,” you facepalmed.

“That, too,” he smirked, “But I was talking about you.”

***

You noticed that Jason changed his body language when he was in Red Hood mode. He stood up straight with his head held high, asserting dominance in the way he walked and moved. You would be lying if you didn’t think it was hot.

“As promised,” the tall and slender man with olive skin and dark facial hair said with his heavy accent. “6th century Byzantine inscription.”

He opened a heavy duty black metal briefcase that showed a gray stone slab with carvings on its surface. You were next to Red Hood, who took a closer look and nodded at you to come closer.

Upon better observation, your eyes widen. No… It could not be.

“Is your consultant satisfied?” the man asked.

Red Hood had introduced you as his consultant in Middle Eastern antiquities for a second opinion. You nodded at him curtly.

“Yes, she is satisfied. As am I,” his distorted voice agreed, “Here is four hundred thousand. As promised. You did well, Malik.”

“Thank you, sir,” he nodded, taking the duffel bag of cash that Red Hood had handed to him.

The both of you exited the dark building where Malik was running his business next to a dodgy law firm and got into the car.

“Jason!” you immediately squealed as he turned the engine on. “How much are you selling that for to the auctioneer?”

“A Byzantine slab would go for eight hundred, probably,” he shrugged.

“Jason, that’s not a Byzantine slab! That’s the ancient Sabaean alabaster stone inscription from the third century. Its last known location was at an auction in Paris, but it originates from The Awwam Temple in Yemen-”

You didn’t finish your sentence because you had noticed Jason’s body language. He hadn’t reacted to you at all. “You knew what it was.”

“Of course I did,” he said. And even though his whole head was covered, you knew he had that smug smirk on his face.

“And you let Malik think it was Byzantine,” you stated, “Because, of course. If he had an inkling of what it was, the price would have went up.”

“You knew what it was too, and you let Malik believe it,” he shrugged, “Proud of you, Sunny, my little con artist.”

Jokingly, he patted you on the thigh to commend you. It was only a few seconds, yet your heart had started racing.

“Who is this auctioneer? Does he know what he’s getting?” you quickly tried to distract yourself.

“Harry Willowman,” Jason replied, “He thinks he is getting a sixth century Byzantine slab, and he is going to try to get away with buying it for less than what it’s worth.”

“Willowman,” you repeated to yourself.

“You know him?” Jason made a right turn into a large estate.

“I’ve dealt with him a few times in the past, but it was a while back. I don’t think he would remember me.”

“Would it be bad if he did?” he inquired, driving the car to a stop in front of the large mansion.

“We’ll just have to see.”

It was weird, going up to a mansion and ringing the doorbell, as if it wasn’t three in the morning, as if you weren’t wearing a kevlar vest underneath the atrociously large hoodie, and as if you weren’t accompanied by the six foot something vigilante wearing a red motorcycle helmet.

You were greeted by the butler, because of course these people had butlers, and the interior really did remind you of Wayne Manor in its classical finishing, but this place had many more things.

From vases and pots, to paintings and tapestry, to old cabinets and random statues of forgotten Gods and Goddesses, the hallway into Willoman’s office itself already looked like a museum. The butler, an old man about sixty years of age, led you up the marble staircase to the second floor and knocked at the first door, the largest.

“Come in,” said the muffled voice behind it.

Red Hood entered first, and you followed behind him.

“Red Hood,” Harry Willowman acknowledged, “And you brought company.”

Harry Willowman was an Englishman in his mid-forties, and was wearing a beige waffle sweater and khaki slacks. His salt and pepper hair was styled back, and he was as handsome as you remembered.

“This is my associate. She is my consultant during exchanges to make sure items are what they say they are.”

Harry leaned forward from his leather chair to get a closer look at you and frowned. “Have we met before?”

“No time for introductions. Here’s your slab.”

Red Hood set the case on Harry’s heavy wooden desk. Harry proceeded to click the locks open. “Ah, my Byzantine-”

You noticed the way his eyes sparkled just for a moment when he saw what was inside.

“Ahem,” he cleared his throat, “This is a beautiful Byzantine specimen. I shall offer you eight hundred for it, like we promised.”

“Ah, but you see, Mr Willowman,” Red Hood protested politely, “We agreed eight hundred for a Byzantine inscription.”

“And you brought me a Byzantine inscription,” Harry acted confused.

Red Hood turned to you and nodded. You knew what he meant.

“Red Hood will take no less than two million dollars for the third century Sabaean alabaster stone inscription,” you said curtly.

Harry raised an eyebrow at you, and proceeded to laugh. “My dear, you don’t think this is the inscription from Awam Temple? The script here is clearly Koine.”

“I am not your dear,” you snapped, “And Koine is a Hellenistic script. As you can see here, it is clearly Middle Persian, or more specifically Sabaean. Some Parthian scripture has Hellenistic influence, but Sabaic specifically, since it is derived from ancient Aramaic, utilizes mater lectionis- a common variable in Semitic languages. Not Hellenistic.”

Harry stared at you in wonder, but then his eyes narrowed, and a smirk appeared on his lips. “I couldn’t recognise you with that ridiculous outfit you have on, Jade. Whatever happened to the tight leather?”

You clenched your jaw. “Two. Million.”

“Downings,” Harry called to his butler, “Fetch our friends here four of those bags, will you? Turns out one of them is an old associate.”

The room was suddenly tense. You could almost feel Red Hood next to you, coiled up and ready to spring.

“Jade The Judge,” Harry recited again, “What a surprise. How did you get her out of her little hiding hole, Red?”

“I don’t make comments about her outfit,” Red Hood snarkily replied.

Harry laughed. “No, Red, you don’t get it. You didn’t see Jade when she was in her prime. What was it that people used to say? When Jade The Judge walks, darkness follows. People used to be terrified of her. But I was completely infatuated. She left as swiftly as she arrived. But we used to have some fun didn’t we, Jade?”

You felt an icy cold shiver run down your spine in disgust. It was before Dick, when you were still mourning Jason.

You noticed Red Hood’s fists clench.

Before anyone could say anything, the butler arrived with four briefcases, struggling to juggle them in his arms.

“You’ll find that every dollar is accounted for,” Harry explained, the mischievous twinkle in his eye still ever present. “Because I know you will have my head if any small amount is missing.”

You picked up two briefcases, and Red Hood picked up the other two. Without saying any goodbyes, the both of you turned and left the room, but not without hearing Harry’s voice in the distance calling out to you. “I’m looking forward to more leather tights, Jade!”

The ride back home was silent. Jason drove into the garage and parked, taking off his helmet. The both of you walked to Jason’s apartment, and upon entering, you took off your mask, the hoodie, and the uncomfortable vest.

Before anything else was said, you quickly blurted out. “We did.”

Jason turned to you with his eyebrows raised. “Hmm?”

“Harry and I. We slept together. A few times. It was a long time ago,” you shuffled your feet. For some reason, you felt like you were a deer caught in the headlights of a car. You didn’t know why you were confessing this to Jason, and you didn’t know why you felt such shame doing so.

“I wasn’t going to ask,” he came up to you and smiled softly.

“I know, but you were thinking it.” Tears were brimming. “It was before Dick, when I was mourning you still. I was in a very dark place, and I was reckless for the sake of being reckless.”

Jason then frowned. “Does he know your real identity?”

“Oh, God, no!” you shook your head furiously, “I had my mask on, or it would have been in the dark.”

“Why are you telling me this?” he whispered.

“I don’t know,” you looked down at your feet. “I figured I might as well get it out of the way.”

“Well, thank you for telling me,” he replied. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you forced a smile. “Go shower first. I need a drink.”

You downed a shot of vodka and took a long, deep breath. After a while, you heard the shower turn off in the room. You head to the shower.

You opened the door to Jason’s room and was greeted with him shirtless with only his sweatpants on. He was drying his hair with his towel, but droplets of water fell onto his skin, running down his body. You gulped and blushed before saying “Oh my God! I’m so sorry!”

Jason’s eyes widen when he realised you were there. “Sunny! No! I’m sorry. Fuck! Let me put on a shirt real quick.”

He rushed to his closet and put on his shirt, but not before you caught a glimpse of his toned back muscles flexing with movement. Fuck.

“I’m really fucking sorry,” Jason said.

“What? Jason, no. I’m the one who intruded. I’m sorry, I know you’re shy,” you exasperatedly tried to calm him down. But Jason looked like he was in pain.

“No. I know how fucking disgusting my body is. You weren’t meant to see it. Sorry.”

You were shocked into silence. He was standing in front of you, but his head turned away.

“Jason,” you gently approached him, “Who told you that?”

“No one,” he denied, “But I know how I look, and I don’t want you to have to see that shit.”

“Oh, Jason,” you sighed. “I don’t find you disgusting at all.”

“You don’t have to be nice,” he grit, “I saw you looking.”

Suddenly, you felt the familiar heat creep up to your cheeks. “I- uh, I. I was looking. Yes. I was. But not because I think you’re disgusting. I was- uh. I was… admiring…you…”

“What?” he frowned.

“Look,” you gathered your courage and pierced his eyes with yours. “I’ve seen your scars, yes. And the way I see it, your scars means you are a skilled fighter. All those lessons learned. All that experience. I wish I had your skills. But I just have this stupid shadow. So I respect it. I respect your scars, and your body, and you.”

Jason was still quiet. You could almost see the gears in his head turning as he contemplated on your words.

“And,” you decided to come out with it. “I think. That. Your body. Is. Superhotorwhatever.”

Now you were blushing furiously, but was still watching Jason’s expressions. His frown subsided, and then the corner of his lips twisted upwards in a smirk. “You think I’m hot?”

“Ugh, I should not have said that,” you groaned and turned to walk away.

“No, no, tell me more about how you like my body,” Jason laughed.

“Stop!” you whined, “I’m going to shower.”

“Wait,” he stopped you in your tracks. “Thank you. Really. I wouldn’t have believed you if you hadn’t been blushing.”

“Go away!” you ran to the bathroom and closed the door on Jason chuckling at you.

You stared at yourself in the mirror, processing the day, the night, and the feelings that you felt since the day before. You groaned to yourself when you hit the realization.

You had a crush on your best friend. Again.

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melancholy-marionette · 1 year

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(I apologize for the errors, I use Google Translator to write this post) Hello, not so long ago I found out about your game "Darling Duality" and, having passed it the other day, fell in love with it! You draw amazing, and I almost really fell in love with Castor (you picked up an amazing voice for him, it's nice to listen to him). The way the atmosphere is conveyed deserves separate words. First, the calmness of the day / evening for the passage of the game, then a sweet and slightly anxious feeling during the first sleep with Castor, then embarrassment and panic fright in the cube with a slight madness (when we cut our palm) and at the very end a light comedy made me not get bored and experience emotions throughout the passage of the demo game! You write amazing music that conveys the atmosphere well! Please forgive me if my message seems strange or stupid to you, but in addition to thanking you for playing, I would like to ask a couple of questions (of course, if you don't mind):

Is it possible to ask questions about the character? I would like to learn as much as possible about Castor/Castoria, but if you can't, then I'll understand everything.

How is the development of the game progressing and when, perhaps, will we be able to see the sequel? (please forgive me if my question sounded rude. In no way am I going to be rude to you, rush you or put pressure on you)

Thank you so much for the wonderful game, and I wish you success in everything!

Hey hey! Thanks so much for all your kind words :3 I'm really glad you've enjoyed what there is of DD so far! I just wanted to let you know that I do plan to answer your questions and write you a proper reply, I just don't have time to do it at the moment because I'm really busy trying to get my project for this year's Yandere Jam done in time (the jam ends this coming Tuesday x3) I just didn't want you to think I was ignoring you or anything, so thought I'd let you know that I will answer when I can, it just might be a little while :3 Hope you have a good weekend! EDIT (to add my full answer :3)

Okay, so, hopefully I'm doing this right and you'll be able to see what I'm typing cos I don't really know how Tumblr works all that well x3

Firstly, I should probably say that, while I wish with all my heart that I could draw, I sadly cannot draw to save my life T_T haha. The art in all my games is either the result of me teaming up with amazing artists who can draw beautifully, or, me taking to GIMP and spending hours editing assets that I own to at least try and make them look somewhat unique to my projects rather than using them as they come :3

Darling Duality is the result of the second option, haha. I think it took me around 3 days to edit Castor/ia's sprites because I heavily edited colours, but I also added additional facial expressions that didn't come with the asset pack by layering parts of the face individualy, haha.

I'm glad you ended up liking Castor though ^-^ And I agree, his voice actor is incredible and the character wouldn't be the same without him!

I can also only take credit for certain music tracks within the game x3 The soundtrack is currently only partially original, and the rest of the tracks are ones I chose from various asset packs that felt like they fit well. I really enjoy making music though, so I've been trying to include more and more original tracks in my more recent projects :3

Your message doesn't seem strange or stupid at all though! I think it's extremely sweet :3 And it means a lot to me that you liked the game enough to even want to write something about it ^-^

I don't mind answering questions at all, so you're welcome to ask whatever you like :3 There might be some things that I can't say if they might contain spoilers for the story that is still to come, but I'll do my best to answer what I can.

To answer your second question, in all honesty, development is going very slowly >.< I got quite demotivated to work on the project when I found out that I might not be able to get the same voice actors back to keep playing the characters. So I ended up putting the project on hold and just working on game jams for quite a while.

The voice acting situation is still up in the air, but I am at least slowly working on the project again :3 I have a lot of writing finished that currently isn't coded into the game yet. In the next update, I'm hoping to continue a little more of Castor/ia's story, along with adding a new character to the mix as well whose route you will be able to begin.

It's a very long-term project though because I hope to add quite a few different characters over time. Because of that, my plan was to update sort of episodically, so that it doesn't take forever to release new content. Because the fully completed game will likely take me years to make >.<

As for the next update though, I can't really put a proper time on when I might be able to get it released, but I'm really hoping that it will at least be sometime later this year :3 It's just hard to say because you never know what is going to go wrong and get in the ay, haha.

Thank YOU for taking the time to check the game out and leave such kind words <3

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effielumiere · 3 years

Text

The Companion - Prologue

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: Romance, Idol AU, Drama, Comedy (I hope my sense of humor will relate to your humor lol), slow burn.

Synopsis: Park Jimin of BTS is going through a lot of emotions after they announced that their tour has been cancelled because of the pandemic. More than a year has passed and he's trying so hard to hold on. One evening after drinking with his brothers, he asks them what he should do to get his mind of the sadness that continuously tries to being him down with everyday that passes, they suggest a lot of things but only one of them sticks out. Get emotional support. They suggested to get a puppy, but Namjoon had a funnier suggestion, he was drunk after all. A human companion. It was supposed to be a simple, funny suggestion that wasn't supposed to be taken seriously but Jimin had other plans. He finds the perfect one but is she willing to step up to the challenge? And most importantly, how will things play out for them with him being ... well, him and her being an ARMY?

Warning(s): Mentions of depression, the pandemic (ugh). Reader thinking it's a scam lol. Unedited.

A/N: Sorry if it's a bit boring it's just the prologue. It's been a while since I wrote a fan fiction and decided to give it a go after nearly five years, preeeetty rusty. Also, sorry if there are any grammar error. I hope it's alright for you guys, lemme know in the replies and comments about what your guys think. Here's the masterlist for this story and the link for my Wattpad in case you feel more comfortable reading there. Thank you for taking the time to read this!

Prologue

*Ding*

They're live! This was how my life has been since the pandemic hit, waking up to a BTS livestream was the highlight of my week. I recently joined the fandom after the pandemic hit and Dynamite lifted and pulled me back from descending back into the depression I felt nearly four years ago. They saved me, just like they've done to countless fan across the globe. They made my days seem less boring and everyday I made it a fun mission of finding more youtube edits, tumblr posts and I've even fallen to the vortex of playing BTS World. Tuesdays are fun. Tuesdays are RUN BTS days. After reading tweets from fellow ARMY's memes and threads, I get out of bed and help my family prepare lunch only to return to bed for a nap before I prepare for work.

Dragging myself to the office desk in my office, I contemplate whether of not I should work. It's been days since I kept losing my voice that I close the door and went with my initial plan. Job hunting. Opening my laptop, I make my way to job hunting sites and spent a good half hour there until I gave up and opened my email and found something more interesting then the search for Atlantis, long lost treasures and the existence of aliens combined. An email from HYBE Corporation with the subject line: Job Offer: Y/N L/N. Thinking it was a spam and a scam email, my cursor hovered on the delete button when curiosity got the best of me and I ended up opening the damn thing with contained, indeed a job offer as well as an attachment. An NDA. Reading through it, my eyebrows almost reached my hairline.

Job Title: Executive Secretary/Personal Assistant

Company: HYBE Corporation

PA? Can't they just find someone who's within the country? I continued on reading the job description as well as the benefits when I reached the end of the email that had a disclaimer.

DISCLAIMER: PLEASE REPLY ASAP WITH SIGNED NDA TO RECEIVE CREDENTIALS FOR YOUR INTERVIEW VIA ZOOM. IF YOUR HAVE RECEIVED THIS EMAIL INCORRECTLY PLEASE INFORM US.

Your day was just getting weirder and weirder. Deciding between replying and deleting the damn thing, I go with my gut feeling and read the NDA, electronically signing it and sending it back. Almost instantly, I get a reply stating that my job interview was in a few hours along with a zoom meeting ID and password. Thinking this scammer has absolutely lost their marbles I settle back and watch a few movies before the interview.

Bad move. I fell asleep and woke up with a puffy face thirty minutes before my interview. Trying to wake myself up, I wash my face and do my make up as to look somewhat presentable. Scammer or not, I was not going to face these people looking like shit with no eyebrows. Logging in to zoom I enter all the necessary information and was instructed to wait. There were three people in the meeting room including myself. One had their webcam open, who I'm guessing was my interviewer and the other was probably a co-worker of hers. I stay alert despite of legit the interview was going, reminding myself that this might be a scam. She was asking the usual questions to be asked in a normal job interview until she asks, "You've read the NDA right Ms YL/N?"

"Yes, and I've signed it." She nods and she informs me when my next interview was, but there was a catch.

"In person?" I ask, trying not to sound like a complaining lunatic.

"Yes, does there seem to be a problem with that?" she asks nonchalantly.

"Um... yes." I muster up the confidence to speak up. "To be quite frank, I'm still doubting that this interview is real since it sounds ridiculous of HYBE to send an email saying they want to interview me for a position like this when in fact you could just put up a poster there and anyone would try out for an interview."

She tilts her head a bit and for the first time, her eyes move to a different part of the screen. She wasn't looking at my face or hers, she was looking at the other person in our meeting room who had their display picture as the logo of the company. There was no name, only a simple dot that made everything more mysterious. She then looks to the side of her table, probably her phone before looking back up at me and saying something that had my eyes popping out of their sockets.

"Ms. YL/N, just a quick reminder that you've fully read the NDA and you're aware that this interview is being recorded." I nod "I'll also have you know that we are currently checking your computer to ensure your following protocol as we are. And breaking any of the clauses mentioned in the NDA will result into serious... trouble "

"Protocol? You mean, y'all are.. hacking me?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Not exactly hacking, we're just double checking that you're not recording this." I stare at her. That's basically the same thing.

"Um.. why?" I ask, scared I even did.

"Because your about to meet the co-worker of your employer." I stare at her again, more confused as I before just a few minutes ago. "Come again, now?"

The other person behind the company logo opens their webcam and speaks, and every thought I had of this interview being a scam went out the damn window.

"Good morning." He smiles.

"Good... Lord, you have got to be shitting me." I stare at the man who was in the dark room of his studio, wearing a grey hoodie with his blonde hair not styled. He chuckles.

"Eh.. he's not. Nice to meet you, y/n. I've been listening to your interview. My name is-"

"Kim Namjoon." I mutter and just smiles and nods. "Yep"

"Wait so..." I try to pick up my thoughts as well my soul from the floor which refused to return to my body "This isn't a scam interview?!"

"No, no, no" Namjoon reassures me as my interviewer shakes her head smiling.

"Then what's the point in all of this?" I ask hesitantly.

"Your job description is somewhat easy." Namjoon starts "One of the members requested you to be their companion. Emotional companion. That means you have to by their side to comfort, support and basically, be a friend."

"Alright," I nod slowly " By emotional companion you mean kind of like a therapy dog, but human?"

"I ..." he stutters "I wouldn't compare it to a therapy dog"

"I would." I whispered to myself forgetting for a second that they could hear me, Namjoon keeps his mouth in a firm line making his dimple show.

"Basically that's all you're gonna do. Be some sort of comfort." He continues "Once you get here that is, we can't have you two having a long distance relationship. I'll try to explain more when you arrive. I promise."

"I have to move to South Korea?"

"Yes" my interviewer pitches in "Once you do, your accommodation is taken care of" she starts discussing other things related to my job, that includes my contract, said accommodation, benefits and salary.

"The apartment you're staying is actually his place that he bought earlier this year, supposed to be up for rent but the pandemic happened. You don't have to pay rent, electricity nor water. And you have a monthly food and transportation allowance on top of your salary."

My eyes widen, well shit. "And finally, your visa and airfare, and every other document that needs to be paid will be paid for."

"So, all I have to do is..."

"Pack your bags and get on the first plane here once you're done with everything else there." Meaning once I resign from my current job and tell my parents I need to leave as soon as possible.

Call it desperation, I need a job. Moving to a different country is a big deal, yes, especially if your broke ass can't afford tickets, a roof over your head, food, electricity, airfare and visa but if everything is handled by your employer, well fuck worries. I'll take it.

The interview ends with me agreeing to it, signing it and sending back the contract to them. Leaving my desk, I lay down on my bed staring at the ceiling wondering what the fuck did I just agree to. Let alone in the middle of a pandemic. I abruptly stand up again and make my way to my desk to draft a resignation letter and think of how to explain to my family how I could have possibly sold my soul to an angel... a fallen angel. Waiting for my mom to wake up so I'll have someone to back me up when I start explaining to my father that his twenty-three year old daughter was going to venture off to South Korean in one month in the middle of a pandemic. I hold my head in my hands when my phone vibrates on my desk alerting me of a notification finding an email from Namjoon including a lot of comforting words, a thank you and a promise of seeing me in person soon. I politely reply the same enthusiasm but not before asking him who was I going a therapy dog for, minus 'therapy dog' replaced by 'companion' rolling my eyes to myself as I typed the word. I get a response a few minutes later only short of the name of my hooman. I didn't push it, praying at the same time it better not be him or the other members of BTS or I was seriously gonna lose my shit.

Later in the evening, after much discussion and a lot of crying. My father reluctantly lets me go and accepts my fate to work as a executive secretary, if he only knew. I'm desperate for a job. Desperate that I chose to move to another country.

~~~~~~~~~

< masterlist | one >

***Taglist is open. Reply on the masterlist post to be added.***

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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years

Note

One time Amy wants only 3 minutes (although I never understood what that joke said about their sex life as an ace too lol)

One time Amy wants a normal amount of sex

One time she wants a sex marathon

'3 Minute Foreplay' had been one of those throw-away jokes that sadly turned into a recurring part of Jake's comedy repertoire, and Amy was loathe to admit that it sometimes snuck into hers, too.

"What can you even do in 3 Minutes?" She giggled on a date night, after about one glass or possibly five glasses of wine to help her with these taunting jokes. "Apart from finally figuring out my bra clasp and getting it open, maybe."

What she definitely didn't loathe was Jake pushing her against the walls of Shaw's unisex toilet, his lips on hers to silence her moans while his hand in her unbuttoned jeans worked perfectly well to show her that in just about 2 minutes and 36 seconds, he could get her done just fine.

-*-

She sighs as she sinks back into bed, her PJ top finally readjusted both from it almost being unbuttoned by Jake, and then being completely unbuttoned for a midnight feeding of their tiny dictator, as Jake rolls over to pull her into a hug, at least. Mac's cries had, once again, interrupted what had been turning into a very nice moment, and the good 30 minutes it had taken to get him settled and fed and back into his crib had clearly been long enough to make her husband realise how late it was and how tired he really felt, after all.

"Maybe someday we will get to have a normal amount of sex again."

"A normal amount of sex? Is that what it's called?" Jake huffs and kisses her neck, whispering something about 'may I have some sex please?' in his fake Amy-voice as she softly punches his side.

"You know what I mean. Just, like, without squeezing it in during a quick shower or something."

"Yeah." She feels his sigh against her skin and shivers, but she feels the weariness in her bones now too, and the thought of doing anything more than curling into him and enjoying his warmth seems daunting. "It's a nice dream, at least."

-*-

“Not that I‘m complaining”, Jake hums in his definitely complaining a little tone of voice, “but at some point we should really get out and see some sights. That’s part of a holiday, right?”

“I’ve got your sights right here.” Amy purrs as she climbs on top of him, poses with her chest jutting out and her hands already skimming over his sides again. “Or are you trying to tell me you’d rather see some old monuments and museums?”

“Never.” Jake grins as he lifts his legs, toppling her forward onto his chest for a hug, partly to keep her arms from moving all over him because as much as he loves a frisky wife, he’s already well and truly scratched up in enough places from their last three hours after check-in. “I’m just saying, you’re the one who wrote that big itinerary. What are we going to tell your parents when we pick Mac up and they ask if we got it all in?”

“We tell them we absolutely got it all in. And then some.” He feels a bite to his lower lip before he can even go for the obvious Title Of Your Sextape joke, and her little wink tells him she knows it all too well, too.

“Is this genuinely pent-up post-baby horny Amy talking for real, or complimentary-cocktail-drunk Amy? Because I gotta adjust my response accordingly.” Jake gives her a wary look, knowing that if he lets drunk Amy get her way, sober Amy is going to be mad at him for letting her ‘waste’ so much time they could’ve used for the aforementioned itinerary of their first pregnancy belly and baby free trip in almost two years.

“This is ‘my wonderful husband has never looked hotter than when he’s frustrated carrying our suitcases up the stairs after managing a pretty disastrous travel-and-booking-error situation, and he should be glad I didn’t jump his grown-up, responsible and handsome butt before he closed the door behind us’ Amy talking.”

“That’s a very long Amy to remember.”

“Mhm.” Her nipping teeth have made their way to his earlobe, and even a hug can’t keep her wandering hands at bay anymore. “Also she’s telling you not to expect getting out of this room before brunch time tomorrow.”

“Can I negotiate at least some hydration-and-rest-breaks with this Amy?”

“Debatable.”

Jake groans, but it’s definitely not in his complaining-tone anymore as Amy’s hands finally find what they’ve been searching for.

#B99 #Brooklyn 99 #Peraltiago #Jake Peralta #Amy Santiago #my writing #ficlet #fic

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et-lesailes · 4 years

Text

the instagram error

pairing: chris evans x reader

word count: 1208

summary: you and chris’ secret relationship is about to become public all because he has no idea how to use instagram...

themes: fluff, comedy

taglist: @evanstush, @tanyam93, @bval-1, @wonderwinchester, @patzammit, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @sammyslonglostshoe, @jadedhillon, @bohemian-barbie, @whysparker, @sebastian-i-stan, @sebabestianstan101, @lille-kattunge, @teller258316, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @xoxabs88xox, @heyiamthatbitch, @cptn-sgrogers, @heyyouwiththeassbutt, @bangtan-serendipity, @troublermalik, @beardburnsupersoldiers, @bookish-shristi, @kind-sober-fullydressed, @gingerninjaprincess16, @straightforwardly, @denisemarieangelina, @frencchfries, @xlanawriter, @littlemoistcarrot, @pottxrwolff, @arianatheangelworld, @ifuseekamyevans, @southerngracela, @nsfwsebbie, @rororo06, @savemesteeb, @raveviolet, @inactivewhore, @hurricanerinwrites, @captainamerica-is-bae, @shaddixlife, @tessa-bl, @marvelouspottering, @pppsssyyyccchhhiiiccc, @thegetawaywriter, @dwights-new-plague, @rynabarnesrogers, @fckdeusername

notes: this one’s a little short, but it was just something fun i wanted to write since chris made his instagram! :) graphic creds to @thewritingdoll

You smile in amusement as you rub lotion on your legs having just gotten out of the shower, watching your boyfriend tapping all over the screen of his phone in confusion. “Chris. It’s really not that complicated,” you remark with a laugh from your current seat at the edge of the bed, and he looks up from the device, scoffing playfully. “Look, I barely use this thing as it is unless it’s to occasionally tweet or take pictures of Dodger. Ya can’t blame me for having no idea how Instagram works.”

You giggle softly, standing up and coming over to his side, craning your neck trying to see what he’s posting. “You’re trying to do multiple pictures? Look, you tap on this first,” you explain, pressing on the icon on the right side of the screen, “then you select all the images you want in order.”

“Ohh.” Chris nods, grinning up at you. “Thanks, baby.” You chuckle softly as you go to the walk in closet, slipping out of your robe to change into pajamas. “Mmhm. Anytime.” He fiddles around with the phone for a few more minutes before finally locking it and setting it aside with a sigh. “Alright. That’s over with,” he exhales playfully as if exhausted, and you come back out of the closet dressed in a simple sleep tank with matching shorts. “What a hard life you lead,” you tease, crawling into the bed and yawning. “You ready for bed soon, babe?”

“Oh yes. I’m fucking exhausted.” Chris peels out of his clothing and you can’t help but stare, feeling incredibly thankful that the man sleeps in the nude every night. However, you soon look over to your nightstand, suddenly realizing your phone’s been going off like crazy. Blinking confused, you pick it up and look at the messages from your friends in your group chat.

“Giiiirl! That picture Chris just posted? SEXYYYYY!”

“Omg I thought you guys were still keeping the relationship on the dl?”

“Is this your way of telling the fans? Lmaoo”

“But why did he post it with a bunch of pictures of his dog….?”

Your eyes immediately widen as you stare at the flood of messages continuing to come in, now from other friends as well. “Chris,” you slowly murmur, “what the hell did you just post…?”

“Huh?” He looks at you in confusion as he’s getting into bed beside you. “Just some pictures of Dodger from our walk today, you know the really cute ones we took by the lake. Why?”

You take a deep breath and go to Instagram- you don’t even have to go to his profile because the photos pop up first on your feed. You swipe through- cute picture of Dodger, cute picture of Dodger, another cute picture of Dodger…

A mirror selfie of you in lingerie, a photo you had taken and sent to him one time just to tease when he was at work.

“Chris!!!” you practically scream, showing him the phone. When he sees it his blue eyes widen; he jolts up and grabs his phone. “Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!!” He goes to his Instagram frantically, tapping the screen flustered. “How do I delete this?! How do you delete a post?!” You practically tear the phone out of his hands, deleting the pictures yourself before tossing it to the other side of the bed as though it’s a bomb.

The two of you slowly look at each other, panicked, discombobulated, stressed… until both of you suddenly burst out in laughter, realizing just how ridiculous the situation is. “Holy fuck. Thank god it wasn’t a nude,” he practically cackles, and you squeal just thinking about it, giggling breathlessly. “Chris. I can’t believe this. We were doing such a good job keeping our relationship a secret,” you laugh, “and it gets leaked from you? From a goddamn Instagram post?” You clap your hands, practically gasping for breath now, your smile stretched wide across your face as your shoulders shake from laughter. “Only you, Chris, only you!”

“Instagram is confusing, okay! Besides, I was doing the fans a favor. Your body is smoking, baby girl.” He points out with a playful smirk, throwing his arms around you tightly. “Shit, both of us are probably getting flooded with comments and DMs right now. We should probably address this, shouldn’t we…?” You sigh, smiling amused as you lean into his hold, holding his arms around you. “I mean, ever since they saw us in Defending Jacob together, they were “shipping” us anyways. It can’t be too surprising, right?” You yawn softly, tilting your head up to kiss him gently. “We’ll make a more formal announcement tomorrow morning. Let’s go to sleep now though, hm?”

Chris looks somewhat thoughtful but nods, leaning over to turn off the light before lying down with you. “Goodnight, Y/N. Love you,” he murmurs, kissing your forehead, and you smile in content as you close your eyes. “Night, Chris. Love you.”

He doesn’t fall asleep just yet, though, despite the fact that you’re already drifting off beside him. Instead, he picks up his phone again, going to Instagram. This time when he makes a post, he’s very careful about selecting the photo he wants, practically triple checking that he hasn’t added anything else. He types up the caption and presses “Share” before settling down, soon falling asleep with his arms around you.

You wake up the next morning earlier than him, blinking sleepily. Picking up your phone to check it before letting yourself go back to sleep, you blink noticing a flood of messages once again.

“I just DIED at chris’ post. You are so lucky omg”

“CHRIS IS TOO SWEET!!!!! Pls stay together forever”

“I’m still crying rn omg he is so romantic”

You check your other notifications. Chris has tagged you in an Instagram post? You go to the picture and immediately widen your eyes in surprise.

It’s a selfie of you, Chris, and Dodger- Chris has his arms around you and his head on your shoulder, his blue eyes sparkling happily and his lips close to your cheek. Dodger is on your other side, his own mouth practically pulled back into a smile as his tongue hangs out. Your eyes drift to the caption.

“Alright guys. Pretty sure almost all of you caught my little Instagram mess up, so it’s time to come clean. I don’t normally do stuff like this but I want to with this girl. This girl right here is the love of my life, AND the love of Dodger’s too. We met on the set of Defending Jacob and the rest is history. I’m so lucky to have her. She’s a little ball of love and energy, and she even manages to make this quarantine full of delight and excitement each and every day. I hope you guys can respect our relationship and show her the same love you show me.

And yes, she sends me some pretty sexy pictures. ;)”

You giggle softly to yourself, glancing down at the sleeping man beside you. God, you love this man.

You set the phone aside and snuggle back into him, closing your eyes to fall back asleep, the soft smile remaining on your lips.

#chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans fluff #chris evans x you

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nugnthopkns · 4 years

Text

i’ll tell you i was wrong if you dance with me

word count: 3.3k

warnings: explicit fem!reader, slightly unhealthy relationship moment (lack of communication), mention of infidelity, cursing, alcohol consumption, a fair bit of angst

recommended listening: fred astaire | adam brock

a/n: communicate with your partners!!! also yeah this is the song from lady bird. it’s a banger

This seriously isn’t happening.

You never fight with Travis. Communication comes easy between the two of you, but you also make it a priority to talk about your feelings. It keeps things from boiling over; both of you are known to unleash wicked tempers on occasion and have found being direct stops issues from occuring. Arguments still occasionally happen, but they’re typically over trivial things like what movie to watch or where you’re spending the holidays. Travis apparently forgot about the fact you talk to each other about things.

He’d been upset when he came home from practice, but you were pretty sure he was fine after he woke up from his pre-game nap. Knowing he’s a superstitious person and has a lot of pressure on him to put up points, you had made the choice not to ask about what was bothering him. Throwing off his routine could have detrimental consequences. Tonight's game is tighter than it should have been, but the Flyers come out on top. Travis spends a bit more time in the penalty box than you would have liked, but everyone was getting chippy by the start of the third period. Claude tries to talk to him on the bench but he gets shut down. Whatever Travis was upset about before is still clearly bothering him, and it’s affecting his game.

You’re following Travis home from the game, and can tell he’s uptight from the way he’s gripping the steering wheel. As you wind through downtown Philadelphia you try and prepare yourself for any bomb that could drop. Chances are that when you reach your apartment things will explode. Maybe it’s nothing; Travis is fine and just wants to be a responsible driver for once. You pull into the free spot beside his car and see him walking towards the elevator, suit jacket balled up and tucked under his arm. This won’t be good. Trying to buy yourself some time, you take the stairs. Seven flights later you arrive outside your door; he left it unlocked, which gives you a sliver of hope things will be fine.

“Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?” you call into the darkness of the apartment. Your sneakers are left at the door and to retreat towards the bedroom, looking for a sign of life. You find one in the bathroom: the light is on. A gentle push on the door reveals your boyfriend is in the shower and ignoring you.

“Trav?”

“Yeah,” he huffs, words muffled by him tossing his head back to rinse the shampoo of his hair. Apparently the shower isn’t as relaxing as he had hoped.

You don’t bother to tread lightly, upset that he’s acting like a child. “You’re being an asshole. I get that you had a bad day, but you can’t take it out on me. I just want to help.”

Travis turns the water off suddenly. “Can’t help if you’re the problem,” he scoffs.

His statement doesn’t make sense. You’ve done nothing out of the ordinary the past couple of days; nothing that would warrant the behaviour you’re receiving. “What do you mean?”

Shouldering passed you to exit the room, Travis doesn’t bother to respond. You’re beyond frustrated: partners in healthy relationships communicate, not show emotions like grade schoolers. “You’re not giving me the fucking silent treatment Travis. You gotta talk to me.” The bedroom is dark when you enter and you flick the overhead light on to see better.

“You really don’t know?”

“Of course I don’t know,” you seethe. “If I did know we wouldn’t be in this predicament because we’d be solving the issue.”

The glare you receive is sharp enough to cut stone. He pulls on a t-shirt, anger clear in the aggression he does it with. “Why did I have to find out from Carter that you’ve been getting coffee with your TA?”

You’re shocked. In no way is it what he thinks it is. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you sigh, upset that Travis would take someone else’s words at face value and not talk to you about it.

“I’m dead fucking serious Y/N. You preach communication, but it looks as though you’re the one who hasn’t been doing enough talking.”

The room around you starts to spin. You can’t comprehend what he’s insinuating. “Wait, you think I’m cheating on you?” you ask. There has been a gross miscommunication error somewhere; never in a million years would you think of having an affair.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Well what the fuck did you say?”

Travis tugs at the roots of his hair in frustration. He doesn’t answer immediately, pacing the length of the bed a few times. “I just–” he struggles to articulate his words. “I just said that you’re being a bit hypocritical, don’t you think? You’re standing here yelling at me because I didn’t voice my concerns, but you haven’t been talking to me about what’s going on in your life.” Travis’ tone is sharp, and it stings.

It’s your turn to show how upset you are. Your hands curl into fists at your side, and you squeeze your nails into your palms before releasing them. “I do tell you what goes on in my life Travis,” your breathing ragged as you try to not lose your cool. “I ran into my TA at the coffee shop yesterday, and he paid for my drink because my card wouldn’t work. Didn’t think it was breaking news, sorry I don’t send you every single fucking life update that happens. What’s gotten into you?”

“You could have been cheating!”

“But I wasn’t!” you scream, no longing caring about keeping up appearances. You can’t believe Travis would think that. It hurts. “And I never would! You know this”

He turns his back to you, like it pains him to look at you, but you don’t understand why. You're not the one suggesting infidelity. “That’s it? That’s all you’ve got to say?” he seethes.

“That’s all there is to say! There’s nothing to explain, no secret to uncover. I’m not in the wrong here.”

“And you think I am?”

You look at Travis like he has three heads. “Are you serious? You’re the one who’s so fucking upset over a situation that could have happened to literally anyone.” Your tone suggests that you’re exhausted with the conversation, and Travis gets the hint.

He slinks towards the door, still visibly angry. “I’ll take the couch tonight,” he grits out before tightly gripping the doorknob and shutting the door with more force than needed.

The bed doesn’t look appealing, full of much happier memories, but fighting with Travis has knocked any and all energy out of you. You gingerly pull back the covers and slip underneath. Tears trickle down your cheek as you toss and turn, trying to fall into some sort of slumber. However, your mind has other ideas, replaying the blowout. You can’t begin to understand why Travis is so bothered by the instance, and more importantly why it caused him to disregard a fundamental part of your relationship. There’s little movement from beyond the door, but you can hear the faint noise of a Johnny Cash record playing from the speakers in the living room. After hours of staring at the ceiling your eyes close and a fitful sleep follows.

You might have gotten nine hours of sleep, but you wake up feeling exhausted. Fighting with anyone drains you, but fighting with Travis is especially terrible because it rarely happens. There doesn’t seem to be any movement from the other side of the door; maybe he’s still asleep. You refrain from heading into the kitchen, unsure of what will happen if you see him. After nearly twenty minutes you can’t wait any longer to start your day and pad into the main living space. It’s empty: no sign that Travis has been there for many hours. Guess you don’t have to immediately deal with the fallout of last night.

A post-it note is tacked onto the fridge handle and your heart skips a beat. In Travis’ chicken scratch it reads I’ll see you at the gala tonight. We’ve got media all day and I won’t be back in time for us to go together. There’s no mention of the fight, and you can’t judge from a two sentence note whether or not he’s still pissed off.

“Fuck,” you groan. “The gala.” Tonight’s the annual Flyers Give Back gala, and you’re expected to be in attendance. It’s not even a charity event; the organization is offering a chance for business men to chat up the players in hopes they continue to donate. You find things like these unbearable and tedious, but Travis does his best to make them enjoyable. Not knowing what page you’re on with him is going to be terrible. There’s a pretty good chance he’ll ignore you if he’s still upset.

As if someone is reading your mind, the better halves group chat starts to explode. Everyone is chattering excitedly about tonight, and under normal circumstances you’d be excited to see them in such a relaxed setting. It’s been a while you’ve all hung out, but you can’t find yourself to contribute to the conversation. You mute the notifications and do your best to move on with your day. The rest of the morning is spent working on your thesis; mind numbing work that almost makes you forget about everything that happened in the past twenty-four hours. Once you’ve hit an acceptable word count for the day you shutdown your computer and make lunch.

The grilled cheese sandwich you eat while watching a John Mulaney comedy special fulfills your appetite but doesn’t curb your dread. You decide to call your sister, hoping she can be a welcome distraction. Dialling her number you sink further into the couch cushions, wrapping yourself tightly with a blanket so that only your head is poking out. “What’s up?” she asks, and you hear her shuffle in the background, presumably to move somewhere more private. It isn’t normal for you to call her unannounced.

You hold it together for approximately two seconds. The tears start and they don’t stop. Every emotion you’ve felt since getting home last night comes to the surface, and before you know it you’re sobbing into the receiver.

“Woah, slow down,” she says. “Y/N, take some deep breaths.” When your breathing returns to a somewhat regular level she continues speaking. “What happened?”

It takes you nearly twenty minutes to tell the whole story because you’re so distraught. No detail is spared, and you go back much farther than is probably needed. You recount what happened after yesterday’s practice, pretty much the entire game, and the fight that followed. “I just don’t know what brought this on,” you sniffle. “We don’t fight, we talk about things. I’m not sure if I’m more upset at what he insinuated or at the fact he broke a cardinal rule.”

Your sister sighs, and you hear her breath fan in slight annoyance. You’re worked up about something kinda stupid, you know, but you can’t let it slide. “It’s probably a bit of both. So, what are you going to do?”

“What can I do? I know that we need to talk about what happened, but a public event is not the best place to do that. I also can’t not show up or ask Trav to ditch in order to figure this out. We have to be there.”

“Sounds like you’ve got it figured out then.”

You really don’t. “What happens if he ignores me the entire night?”

She laughs and tells you to not to anything stupid, and to take your mind off of things tells you a story about your nephew eating dirt. It does the trick; you’re momentarily distracted and forget about Travis. You talk for a while longer before she has to go. “Miles is crying, will you be okay if I let you go?”

It’s your turn to laugh. “I’ll be fine,” you insist. A glance at the clock tells you it’s time to start getting ready. “I’ve gotta shower and start the process. Beauty is time consuming you know.”

Against your better judgement you open your text messages to see if there’s anything from Travis. His text thread is the same as it was yesterday and you’re disappointed. You had hoped that maybe he’d get bored between interviews and check in. With no new notifications you exit out of the application and pull up a playlist you hope will brighten your mood. The steam from the shower relaxes your tense muscles and warms you up. It’s comforting in the way a cocoon is; you practically have to drag yourself out of the bathtub.

Your bedroom is cold and doesn’t offer the same respite as the bathroom. The music continues to float in from the hallway, and you allow yourself to get lost in it. It’s been a while since you danced around your room; it worked to cure sadness when you were a teenager. Hopefully the magic hasn’t worn off. You flail your arms, not caring how silly you look since no one is here to see you anyways, and scream along at the top of your lungs. After a few songs you feel better and return to the task at hand. The dress code is labelled as ‘black tie’ on the invitation, but that isn’t what you’re worried about. You own a million dresses for situations like this after being with Travis for so long. You don’t know what he packed to wear, and there’s a decent chance you’ll be pushed together for photos. Clashing colours will look terrible.

A quick glance through his side of the closest leaves you no clues, so you decide to be as literal as possible. Black is a flattering colour and works well with every colour combination. There’s a jumpsuit hanging in the back that catches your eye and you think it’s the perfect choice. After pulling it on you move back into the bathroom to do your hair and makeup. Everything is natural and relaxed; once again for the sake of potential photos. The clock strikes on the hour and you realize it’s time to leave. A pair of heels are slipped on and you order an Uber before locking the apartment and heading to the lobby. You had thought about driving yourself, but on the occasion that things don’t end well with Travis you’ll probably have more than a couple of drinks.

The entire way to the venue your leg bounces up and down. It’s been years since you’ve been this nervous about being around the team. You’ve been with Travis for a few seasons now, and the organization has become a second family to you. No one is going to know about the fight and you worry they’re going to talk about your solo arrival. The outside of the convention centre is sharply decorated, and your driver lets out a low whistle at the extravagance of it all. “Thank you so much,” you gush, and exit the car. Thankfully no photographers are set up outside, and you dart inside without being seen.

Once in the main event space, you scan for the bar. There’s no sign of Travis, which should make you more relaxed but doesn’t. What if there was an accident on the way to the venue? You have no idea where he was all or who he came with. Overthinking distracts you from your original goal, leaving you standing aimlessly in the middle of the room.

“You look like you might need one of these,” Ryanne chuckles, handing you a champagne flute. You gladly accept and down it in two gulps. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” you sigh, eyes scanning to see if your boyfriend has made an appearance.

She sees right through your facade of calm and wraps you in a tight hug. “What’s going on?”

For a second time today you explain what happened last night. There’s no judgement from Ryanne as there might have been from your sister because she understands. Dating a professional athlete isn’t easy; things like this happen much more frequently than you’d expect. Perhaps it’s all the time spent apart that makes the occasional lapse in communication so apparent. She listens quietly, full attention on you. To your credit you don’t cry this time, slightly more numb to the situation to due more time passing. It still hurts a tremendous amount.

“He’ll come around,” Ryanne insists. “TK is a little moronic sometimes, but he’d never jeopardize his relationship with you. You’re quite literally the most important thing in his life.”

“I know. I’m just upset because the whole thing could have been avoided.”

She offers you a sympathetic smile. “I know.” Ryanne links her arm through yours. “Let’s go find something to snack on.”

You spend most of the night with Ryanne, and occasionally Claude when he can get away from the hot-shot businessmen. Travis eventually came in, flanked by Nolan, but was immediately pulled into the politics of the night. The two of you occasionally sneak glances at each other and you tell he’s uncomfortable. You can only hope it isn’t because of your presence. It’s nearing eleven; the party has become a much more relaxed affair, and the DJ is playing sappy love songs in an attempt to get the media team some good photo ops. An intern asks the Giroux’s if they’ll dance for an instagram story and they both look hesitant. “Go on guys, I’ll be fine,” you reassure. It’s the subtle push they need to enjoy a quiet moment together.

As if he can sense you’re lonely and feel out of place, Travis approaches you. It’s tentative, like he’s petrified you’ll turn him away, but he comes regardless. Drinks are in each of his hands and he extends one to you. When you don’t take it he sets it on the table behind you. “Hi,” he says sheepishly, fiddling with something in his pocket.

“Hi Travis.” You’re determined not to let his presence crack your resolve; last night illuminated a big issue and it needed to be dealt with. It’s proving to be difficult because he bumps a shoulder against yours and all you can think of is kissing him senseless.

The song changes to a Bruce Springsteen ballad, and you recognize it instantly. It played at the coffee shop on your first date with Travis all those years ago. One look at him tells you this isn’t an accident, that he had requested it specifically for the two of you. “Dance with me?”

You sigh deeply, looking him in the eyes. “Trav, this isn’t going to magically fix things.”

“I know, baby, I know,” he pleads. “I fucked up so bad last night because I was being an idiot. I wrote down everything I would do differently if I had a time machine, look.” A hand reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a piece of paper filled with his nearly illegible print. “Just one dance, and then we can go home and talk about it like I should have suggested in the first place. Let me know we’re still okay.”

If you hadn’t been in public you’re sure Travis would have been in tears. It’s not necessarily a good look to cry in front of hundreds of sponsors. He has a reputation as the goofy boy who takes no shit to uphold. “You have a lot of talking ahead of you,” you say, and let him drag you onto the dance floor. Swaying in his arms you realize things are going to be just fine. Travis loves you and you love him; there’s nothing the two of you can’t work through.

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

taglist: @jamiedrysdales @kiedhara @tortito if you want to be added shoot me an ask :)

#travis konecny imagine #travis konecny x reader #travis konecny fic #philadelphia flyers imagine #hockey imagine #hockey fic #nhl imagine #nhl fic #cwrites

261 notes · View notes

miraculouscontent · 3 years

Text

(miraculous asks)

Anonymous said:

Oh My Gosh!!!! I was just thinking about Party Crasher and man I hate how they had Ladybug get captured for the men to save! It's a continuous thing you see in media: strong heroic woman gets put in peril so that the men can shine. I didn't even realize it until you said it! I get that it was probably meant to be a "role reversal" of Chat always getting kidnapped or brainwashed for Ladybug to save, but the fact that this is the "guys' episode" it read like "well damn, we can't have the guys be strong if a girl is in the way; let's have the girl get captured so the boys can prove their worth by rescuing her!".

At least in Sandboy, Ladybug was still competent and came up with the plans, but this?! It makes me sick, and it's all too easy to fall into these traps; even Kim Possible did it! In my magical girl story, the heroine does get put in a magical coma and require someone to bail her out, but it's her female friends AND her boyfriend who save her, so it's not just a girl being weakened so a boy can be powerful, especially since said boy actually does a minority of the work required to save her; the focus is on the female characters so it's her girl friends who do most of it. I still ended up scrapping that side plot anyway, and do you know why? Because regardless of who saved her, I still didn't want my female protagonist to be put in distress at all due to the unfortunate implications! Needing help in a fight? Sure. But outright being captured or kidnapped? Nah fam.

I was honestly thinking about that when the first episode came out. Like, they could’ve just had Marinette NOT SHOW UP in time so the guys take care of things, which at least gives more of a message that Paris wouldn’t go to hell just because Ladybug is a little late or something.

And yeah, the “boys squad episode so gotta toss the girl out” is... sigh.

Anonymous said:

I think the writers were trying to show Chat angsting to show his regret instead of an actual apology. Still doesn't explain why Aeon didn't bring up her death afterwards. Did Olympia delete that from her memory banks?

I guess? :|

I don’t know why Chat can’t just apologize without fishing or trying to earn sympathy. Like JUST SAY YOU’RE SORRY, DAMMIT.

Anonymous said:

If you haven't read Maribat, then you won't regret it. I am not in the DC universe but I started reading it and WOW. Literally every single time Marinette is a badass queen and gets her complete revenge and is actually happy! Even if you absolutely love Lukanette (which I have nothing against) you should totally try it.

Appreciate the comment, but I find it hard to ship other Marinette ships outside of Lukanette. Ivanette is a very loose exception and it’s not like I ship it hard or anything.

Anonymous said:

Despite not being a Lukanette shipper I love you. Why? Because you amazing, so right in literally everything and I love you <33

gkdfjgfdngjkfdg thank you

bat-anon said:

The NY Special made it so that Max is literally the only Black/Brown kid that doesn’t exist to make Love Square happen and that just makes me hate it even more.

I wish you didn’t make me have this realization because I hate it.

At least Delmar existed in the New York special???? I guess???? I dunno, I’m trying here, I don’t recall him doing anything love square centric.

Anonymous said:

I honestly don't mind Alix's outfit as Bunnix! I feel like it fits her, plus she's an adult so its not much of a problem, not saying it can't be improved however. I DO have issues with the designs for the underage girls outfits however....those are very sus

Yeah, the problem I take with Bunnyx’s is that it’s a bodysuit. If there was just more definition, like having actual boots, I wouldn’t complain as much.

Anonymous said:

I actually just really like the idea of the new bee being a genuinely nice person who becomes friends with Marinette. Not exactly close friends (since I like the idea of friendly working relationships without actual personal stakes in them). I also enjoy the idea of the new bee having some small animosity for Chat Noir- just because their personalities aren't the greatest mix. I also think that it would make sense for the miraculous of subjection to be at odds with the miraculous of destruction

Full agreement but we know how much the writers are resistant to have characters go against Chat.

Anonymous said:

Not gonna lie the scene where the girl squad gets akumatized almost makes it seem like they got akumatized on purpose, similar to Manon in Puppeteer 2(although she was a little kid who was probably just imagining she could enact revenge). And why can't they have a uniformed design, like they're a team but wear different colors, similar to the Sailor Senshi(like, Alya's the leader and wears orange, Rose wears pink, Alix wears green, Juleka wears purple, and Mylene wears yellow). It's so boring.

Mood.

Not to mention that WE ARE SO TIRED OF THEM GETTING AKUMATIZED INTO THE SAME AKUMA.

AT LEAST PALETTE SWAP THEM.

Anonymous said:

Relating to the Didn't Need Burrows and Treatment of Marinette bingo cards, have you considered making one for whenever the show fails at girl power? It could say things like "sexualized frames of teenage girls" "boy tells girl what to do" "girls don't get to keep Miraculouses", and "girls are forced to apologize whenever a situation goes wrong". And in the center, it could say "Don't show this to your daughter!"! Lol! What do you think?

lol I feel like I have enough cards, otherwise I would.

Anonymous said:

I saw another post that talked about Miraculous New York, and they theorized that it was rewritten to focus more on Marinette and Adrien in order to get viewers invested in the Love Square again after more people started to lose faith in the ship. Do you think that's a possibility?

I think so. The whole special comes off as trying to reassure love square shippers because of how hard it goes for him. I cut out Marinette’s crushing and it cuts like 18% from the episode, meaning it’s even worse than Season 3 (15%).

Anonymous said:

Maybe the point of the [break-up episodes] is meant to discourage people from shipping Lukanette and Adrigami too?

Spoiler alert: didn’t work.

Anonymous said:

Are we not gonna talk about how in one ask, somebody legit said "(long dreamy sigh) Viperion"? Like same.

RIGHT????

Same.

Anonymous said:

Ml fandom: I hate how Ladybug keeps secrets from Chat Noir! He sacrifices himself for her all the time and she never appreciates him for it! He has EVERY right to get mad at her!!

ML Fandom when Chat Noir does the same thing in the special: ....Wow Ladybug was way to harsh on Chat Noir!! She doesn’t appreciate him at all!! Shes so mean to him!

i hate it

Anonymous said:

Idk if it's just me, but a majority of the fandom is split in two; it's never one or the other "MARINETTE SUCKS AND IS A HORRIBLE PERSON GUARDIAN MARY SUE WHO SEXUALLY HARRASSES" or "ADRIEN SUCKS HE WAS NEVER ON MARINETTES SIDE" but im personally on the latter, but not to that extreme. i hate videos bashing marinette and then never acknowledge adriens faults

Yeah, the fandom gets more divided as time goes on because of the writers trying to increase the drama/tension.

Anonymous said:

I am PERSONALLY offended they gave Luka the snake miraculous. Snakes have such a negative connotation. A lot of people insult Lila by calling her a SNAKE. And now those ML writers DARE insult the best character in ML?! HOW DARE THEY!?????

I adore Viperion but I agree that I first heard he was getting snake and was like, “BUT MY BOI???”

It gets awkward too because other animals like the pig have negative connotations, like how Daizzi basically means “idiot/stupid” and they’re giving it to the freaking blond character, really???

Anonymous said:

I think that Ivanette would be even better if Marinette was plus-sized character.

I see why you’d think that. I just disagree because then it turns the ship into “let’s pair the heavyset characters together because they heavyset.”

Anonymous asked:

On the topic of romance failures and general series salt, my main issue right now is how the series puts so much focus on romantic relationships while failing to consider other levels of relationship or what they affect.

On the L² front I can completely buy Marinette being in love with Adrien. Most of the time she genuinely wants him to be happy and is ready to take a step back for him, however much it hurts. But in terms of romantic love? It. Is. A. Crush! But if we step back from the formula, what is there left between them? Their civilian relationship is held together by a “comedy” of errors and without that there is surprisingly little left. Well, besides two “best friends” desperately trying to make it happen because somehow they lost their individual characters and instead of being friends became matchmakers?

I too like Luka and Marinette together. Their relationship is pretty nice to see and all. But sometimes it feels like it happens in a dimension of its own, like the writers want to make the endgame clear in that the “sideships” can be easily cut out of the big “how they got together”-recaps. I especially miss reactions from and interactions with Juleka. She is Luka’s sister, Marinette’s friend, and IIRC someone aware of if not even a bit player in the great shipping game. She is in a prime position to step up and bring progress on all fronts: She can talk with Luka. She can either give Marinette helpful pointers or go “All in or nothing”, i.e. trying to make Marinette get her Adrien-feelings in order as she does not want her brother to get less than Marinette’s full heart. Similarly, she can counteract “friendly acts” and stop humiliating situations from escalating, or she herself can escalate them in the “All or Nothing”-scenario. Yet she remains basically a background character who gets little attention from the camera and almost no “non-focus identity”

As for Kagami, I may be too biased. *Any* positive Kagami/Marinette relationship is to me what Lukanette is to you. So naturally I have lots of opinions when it comes to her role ;) But can I just say that Adrien/Kagami is the weirdest ship for me? They have a few cute scenes and I think if they’d spend a lot more time together, they’d do each other good but I don’t know how they work. “No Hesitation” Kagami would lob Adrien’s head straight off with all his…everything. If we are meant to take Adrien’s love for LB seriously (and I guess we have to because how in the name of sanity is any form of the stated endgame gonna work otherwise???), how does Kagami fit into that picture as a girl who can hardly express emotions while Adrien is the definition of a guy who can not stop flirting or goes for all kinds of romantic gestures? Sometimes it feels more like a “social fit” and “Mommy/Daddy approves” kind of deal which is quite the shame! Normally I like these kind of relationships in fictions but they need a solid underlining or good development. One they haven’t and one the series has not been giving to anyone so far.

Yeah, the whole thing with the love square versus side ships ends up feeling extremely forced. Keeping Luka away and forcing Adrien into Lukanette episode are the biggest giveaways, basically a big fat sign that says, “We know Marinette would forget that Adrien exists if she hung around Luka for more than five minutes.”

AND YEAH, KAGAMI WOULDN’T PUT UP WITH ADRIEN’S GARBAGE. I liked Adrimi but it’s definitely more flawed than Lukanette.

Anonymous said:

Watched your opinion on the New York special and I agree with you. It was mediocre at best. It could have been something nice, like if they added Kagami and Luka, for example, so that we can get a bit of development from the new couples on season 4, so that it doesn’t feel rushed when they start dating on season 4. It could also be a good opportunity to see the other temporary heroes one last time, since Marinette technically has the miracle box.

They could have had an epic fight with the American Superheroes, maybe even giving the bee miraculous temporally to Aeon or Jess so that we didn’t need to see their awful and uncreative superheroes designs. It would have been nice if they made something more useful other than being characters that believe that Adrien and Marinette are “Meant to be”, like, we already got a ton of these already, couldn’t we get someone who didn’t feel something about this ship? It has so much wasted potential that I don’t even know how to start. Do you agree with anything I said?

I agree, yes. They could’ve easily thrown Luka/Kagami into the mix (or had Marinette/Adrien stay behind while flipping perspectives or something; flawed but they could make it work).

Anonymous said:

I'm rereading ladybugout and wow... the moment of silence after "chat deserves that kiss" gets me every time. Everyone stopping and just staring because wow he really just said that

Me whenever Chat Noir opens his mouth in the show.

Anonymous said:

I saw the Backwarder post you just talked about and yes, it is so totally ridiculous. They forgot another thing, though. Miraculous isn't just about comedy, action, and romance, it's about embarrassing Marinette. And the fact that almost everyone in the comments was acting like the medicine scene at the end was funny was just stupid and saddening to hear or read about, because it shows how people have been conditioned to hate and rally against Marinette without even realizing it. Granted, there was one lady who said it reminded her of her husband, so I guess that's okay(but all it means is that Adrien will be Marinette's--aka "his lady's"--husband like eeerrrgh!). And there was one person who said they liked that Juleka's advice because "If you're friend isn't willing to commit crimes for your happiness, is she even your friend?". But everyone else liked the ending. And I don't get the person who said we got "Subtle progression with Adrien and Marinette". We're right where we started.

Weeeeell, I understand the “comedy, action, romance” comment because all of those basically boil down to embarrassing Marinette or invalidating her. Comedy and romance goes without saying while action involves her dealing with Chat “Nice Guy” Noir.

Anonymous said:

Is it just me, or does Snow White's "Red Shoes" form look a lot like Marinette. I know, I know, Marinette is Chinese and Red Shoes is Korean, but they still look strikingly similar. They're bodies are really similar, too, but that might just be because animation tends to use eerily similar body types for its female characters on a whole. It's sad and it makes me think of how cute Marinette would be if she was fat. I also think Snow White was cuter than Red Shoes but that's kind of the point.

I think it’s the body type thing but that’s just a guess since I didn’t immediately make the connection.

I agree that Snow White is cuter.

Anonymous said:

Am I the only one who's never liked "destined to fail" characters? Basically this is when characters aren't allowed to be good at/succeed at something or else the whole universe will somehow fall apart. Think of how in The Amazing World of Gumball, if Richard gets a job, the world will be in complete and utter chaos. So he's better off as a lazy, bumbling dad. In Phineas and Ferb, Candace is always trying to rat out her younger brothers but if she gives up or succeeds something bad will happen.

TV Tropes put it the best: "Not only is she not allowed to succeed, but she's also not allowed to stop trying!"(conveniently under the Cosmic Plaything trope). I just don't like it because it shows that the writers just want to lead them on with the promise of success then snatch it away at the last minute. And now we're back at Miraculous Ladybug, where Marinette is humiliated every time she doesn't sign a gift that's for Adrien, and yet when she does, everyone in Paris DIES. Except for...HIM.

you: *mentions Candace*

me: [a million awful flashbacks]

Also, yeah, it’s so hard to watch, especially in “Chat Blanc” because it’s like, “Oh, you want to give a gift to a boy and you dArEd to use your powers for it? Congrats, but everyone else is DEAD and you can hang out with him as much as you want! You’re welcome!”

Anonymous said:

I think it’d become a “faintest idea blackout card”rather than a bingo.

(referring to my “Faintest Idea” card)

We’re getting there.

darkmoonravewolf said:

I hate that everything on that list could happen and very likely will

(referring to “Didn’t Need Burrow”)

Yeah, and it makes me sad :’)

Anonymous said:

That’s be real here. Miraculous ladybug is not a show about Marinette; Miraculous Ladybug is a show about Adrien. Adrien is the real main character.

Notice that when they focused on Adrien in “Lies,” they only cut back to Marinette (IN A SCENE THAT CAN’T EXIST) to have her fawn over him.

Anonymous said:

Is it just me or are Lady Noire's eyes huge? Maybe it's just the green but they seem way bigger than Marinette's

I’m not sure, but considering Rena’s facial structure being different from Alya’s, it wouldn’t surprise me.

asexual-individual said:

With what you've said about Adrien lacking a reason to exist outside of development for Marinette and Gabriel, I have to wonder how different the show would be if Chat Noir's identity was also kept from the audience. Adrien would still be there as himself, but he only gets as much focus as Alya, and Chat Noir's identity is treated as a mystery (a Tuxedo Mask type mystery, but a mystery all the same).

I see what you mean but it might cause Adrien+Chat’s screentime to feel excessive once the reveal happens, because suddenly their screentime gets combined and it’s like, “oh wow so the combined screentime is his then.”

Anonymous said:

I know that the kwami's really only exist so we can hear our protagonists' thoughts outloud (like what the Coraline movie did with adding Wybie to the story). But honestly, what's the point in having magical gods in the jewelry if you're not going to do anything with them?

Marketing with “cute” side characters.

guisendisguise said:

It's funny, originally, I had shipped Marichat in the sense that Chat and Mari start hanging out and both fall in love with the other's supposedly less perfect, more real selves. Then Luka was introduced and I ended up putting both lukanette and marichat at the same level. Then S3 hit and killed any love I had for Marichat. The writers themselves killed the Love Square for me. At this point, it's very clear they are living in a delusion where the Love Square could ever work narratively without Deus ex Machina or Deus Lo Vult (God wills it). Basically, they've gone past scraping the bottom of the writing skills barrel and are now shoulder deep in the hole they dug thru the bottom of said barrel. I'd like to point out that the bottom of the barrel is writing poop and now they're digging thru the useless plastic landfill the barrel was sitting on top of

Uggggh, yeah. Any appreciation I could’ve had for Marichat died in “Weredad.” I already didn’t like Adrien/Chat and then “Weredad” just showed his complete lack of... well, ANYTHING.

cosmostellar said:

Honestly feels like MLBs writers are going based off the "JUST IMAGINE EVERY POC CHARACTER YOU'RE WRITING AS WHITE" instead of, yknow, fleshing them out while developing them also in the context of their cultures and giving them these little things that the audiences who belong to the same minority can identify with. I don't mean "have Marinette walk in qipao 24/7" bcs thats just... bad on its own but man, /some/ casual acknowledgments of her culture would be nice.

Reading the sentence “JUST IMAGINE EVERY POC CHARACTER YOU'RE WRITING AS WHITE” physically hurts me.

Anonymous said:

Ok, I've always thought that Chloe was robbed of redemption (they held it in front of us, but then jerked it away while Astruc says, "She's irredeemable! We thought she was redeemable, but she wasn't :)!" What are your thoughts! Also, I just recently found your blog and I really like it :)

Thank you!

But I have no sympathy for bully characters, so I didn’t want Chloe redeemed. Maybe I’m still bitter about my own bullying experience, but I just wasn’t here for Marinette being forced to forgive Chloe, which is basically what they did until they backpedaled.

The time spent on her was wasted though and that I can agree on.

Anonymous said:

Me: Writes a 1k rant about how the tweet makes no sense as the "mistake" is about motivation and not the critical plot. Also me: Remembers that in MLB the plot always comes back to the romance. Finally me: Wonders why he got involved with the series post-S3 when all the red flags were already everywhere.

Mistakes were made.

Anonymous said:

I'm semi-catching up on miraculous, and- is it my impression, or does Kagami rebel against her mother more in few episodes she's in (even though her mother's influences on her seem to be stronger in general), than Adrien in the entire show? I /know/ that I don't want to see Adrien free himself from his father w/ the desperation I want to see Kagami free herself from her mother and realize that the standards she's held up to are unhealthy and too strong.

Yeah, I’m way more invested in Kagami than Adrien.

Anonymous said:

Am I the only one confused about whether the staff stopped caring and half-asses the series or cares too much and over-produces the hell out of it?

Nah. It really feels like they secretly hate the love square so they have to keep forcing it.

Anonymous said:

ngl I haven't watched any new episodes since Chameleon and I've been getting all that Miraculous News via tumblr to avoid that Marinette Brand Second Hand Embarrassment™

Understandable.

Anonymous said:

If they aired the 6th one first WHAT WHAT HAPPENED TO LEAD UP TO THIS???? WE ARE ON SEASON FOUR WITH TWO SPEICALS, GETTING A THIRD, AND ANY DEVELOPMENT WE HAD HAS GONE BACKWARDS, SUCKED, OR STATUS QUO YO-ED AWAY!!!!! HOW THE HECK DO WE GET ADRIENETTE FROM FOUR SEASONS OF NOTHING?????? I USED TO FANGIRL AT THIS NOW I AM TERRIFIED.

Answer: We don’t get Adrienette. We get forced love square and rushed/fake “development” of it while being constantly confused as episodes air out of order.

Anonymous said:

im sorry But adrienette has been suck in this limbo of one sidedness for 3 seasons. neither of them have become closer, neither of them have confided in one another, but somehow people still ship it? at least luka was able to make a move on marinette lol adrien still repeats the same boring “shes just a friend” line. adrienette is a really boring ship.

lol don’t apologize, you’re absolutely right.

nahte123456 said:

Very minor bit of salt to throw to the pile, but can this show just decide on how strong Miraculous holders are? Yes it's a cartoon and not the focus but in the Furious Fu episode we literally get Ladybug dodging lighting and then Su who seems mostly human and is at least slower then Fu was outspeeding her. It's distracting trying to figure out what is and isn't a serious threat in this show.

The deciding factor in the strength of the miraculous holders is “whatever works for the plot.”

Anonymous said:

At this point the only thing I'm excited for concerning Miraculous Ladybug is when it gets a reboot in like, a decade with actually competent writers

Best case scenario is that Zag goes bankrupt and Disney/Netflix picks up the series and gives it to competent people.

Problem is that the love square has been ruined so badly for me that even a “good” version of it wouldn’t be something I’d be into, but still.

Anonymous said:

Honestly, the problem with having all of Marinette's mistakes result in huge disasters (ex. Feast), is that is gives off the impression that teenagers aren't allowed to make mistakes. This show clearly doesn't like giving second chances to the protagonist, so why would life give one to you? Am I right, kids?

Exactly.

Marinette makes mistakes and suddenly the world is ending.

Anonymous said:

If your gonna watch the show, at least pirate the episodes so the writers dont get your support

Don’t worry, I have no interest in financially supporting the show.

Anonymous said:

ml in a nutshell: wasted potential, then giving themselves more potential, only to turn the rest of it into a dumpster fire

Yup, that’s it.

Anonymous said:

u know, when My Little Pony, Sofia The First, and fanfiction carries out character development, respect, romance, and the main plot better than the original show, especially when the shows mentioned above are aimed more at little girls and the original show is aimed at slightly older audiences... somethings wrong

*sigh*

And then it’s like--people will excuse the show because “it’s a kids’ show” and then I’m just “okay then, why are there actually good kids’ show?”

If shows get a pass for being for children then all childrens’ shows should just not try and be garbage since the standard is so low.

Anonymous said:

ive seen some cool fic ideas/concepts/reviews that made me think: ml could use so much more looking into how a character thinks in some situations. one fic i read had alya in chameleon (i know its been forever since the ep came out but hey) not question lila cus she thought: "hey, lb wouldnt befriend a bad person" w and added a plot line of lila making her think lb was cobsidering replacing rena rougue. like, just a few lines to make them seem better pls?

YES. Like, show us characters’ perspectives and why they’re rolling with the facts that they’re rolling with, otherwise they just end up looking like jerks.

We sort of got it in “Ikari Gozen” with Kagami but of course it was just to make Marinette look bad.

Anonymous said:

You know I’m honestly considering making reviews of this show and if I do I could create hour long rants about the show just from that mans twitter.

Yeaaaaaah, once you had in the Twitter stuff, it just becomes, “okay so this is going to add another hour or two then.”

Anonymous said:

Okay one thing that bothers me is how plain marinette's suits are despite being a DESIGNER. Her multimouse suit it just blocks of color and her ladynoir suit is just grey with green lines. I think the lines are supposed to represent actually clothes. Like the limes on the calves are supposed to make it look like boots but why not actually GIVE her boots. (Right, because she has to have a skintight suit unlike the boys who get some layers.)

THE SHEER DISRESPECT OF HAVING THE FASHION DESIGNER WEAR SUCH A PLAIN SUIT.

It also goes to show who really designs here, like oh, interesting, the girls get skin-tight simplistic bodysuits and the boys gets all the cool stuff--

Anonymous said:

I heard some people in my class saying they watched Miraculous Ladybug for the first time, and they were saying how good it was, and I was like: 'Oh you poor fools. You have NO idea what it's truly like.'

You know what they say: ignorance is bliss.

bat-anon said:

Isn’t it INTERESTING how in Frozer, Luka understands that Marinette is torn between her crushes and continues to support her even though he knows she probably won’t chose him, and in the exact same episode Chat Noir refuses to help save the city because Ladybug told him AGAIN that she wasn’t romantically interested in him? HMMM 🤔😑

dbfgjbdfjkgf

I’M REMINDED OF “FELIX” WHERE IT’S LIKE--THEY WERE CLEARLY TRYING TO SHOW HOW MUCH “BETTER” CHAT NOIR IS THAN FELIX, BUT LUKA WAS THE RESPECTFUL ONE.

Anonymous said:

You know what I want to see? An evil kwami, like they just want to commit crimes. No moral high grounds, just chaotic evil.

That’d be amazing just because I wouldn’t be able to take them seriously.

Anonymous said:

Watching S1 and S3 episodes back to back, it feels like reading salt fics at times, especially in regards to the L². Like, Marinette was happy about weird plans, she both needed and wanted the final push, and most of the time there was at least something coming out of it. Nowadays it just makes her sad, Alya and the girls act *against* her, and we get shipping for shipping's sake.

That’s a good point. The shift from Seasons 1 to 2 to 3 is rather noticeable.

Anonymous said:

I hate how Adrien's busy schedule seems to only matter when it's used to make Marinette feel bad, but the second Marinette has a bit more to do, it somehow has a negative effect on not only her, but also everyone/everything she cares about, like, what's up with that??

I’m reminded of “Lies” here and I hate it. :|

Anonymous said:

Honestly, the way the show treats teenage girls is horse ass. The show treats the teenage girls of this show as if they're stupid, naive, emotional, clumsy, and need a boy to tell them what opinions to have. Marinette is always treated like the show's punching bag and blamed for everything that goes wrong because she's "emotional" or "obsessed with Adrien", Chloe could've been redeemed but the writers would rather keep her a brain-dead Alpha Bitch Valley Girl(even though Gabriel and Felix, the latter of whom is a teenage boy introduced in one episode, get to be treated as redeemable, despite the things they do being far, far worse), and Lila is a conniving, self-absorbed fox.

And even though Kagami seems better, she's still roped into the "girls catfight over an oblivious guy" cliche and so far, all of her akumatizations have been because of Adrien. Whenever Marinette tries to move on from Adrien the other characters tell her what's good for her and steer her in the "right" direction because she apparently can't think for herself, and the writers LOVE to use the girl squad to tell us who Marinette should be with, because they apparently know better than she does.

Plus the show loves to treat all the girls as the same, making them all either fight over Adrien or be obsessed with shipping, as if teenage girls are all one assimilating, homogenized group(also when they treat Marinette as if she's "just as bad as Chloe", rinse and repeat for the other ladies.). Honestly, the show feels like it was written by those types of people who think "teenage girls are the worst" so they make them all mood-swingy, obsessive, showoffs, emotional, and downright clingy.

Plus the way Thomas Astruc talks about the female characters on Twitter is even worse, and only serves to make this more evident: he claims Marinette "has poor control over her emotions"(all the while calling Adrien "perfect"), that Chloe was racist in Kung Food "because she's stupid"(so rather than having that scene serve as a lesson on respecting other's cultures, he just did it to pick on Chloe and make her look "stupid"), that she's incapable of being redeemed, that Lila's unlikable but Gabriel and Felix aren't(even though he claimed Felix was a terrible character and a "cliche", that's not what the show says my guy), and other such nonsense.

Other Twitter users have also called out Miraculous Ladybug and its stereotypical treatment of teenage girls. The only shows I've ever seen do this worse are those pretentious "darker" Magical Girl "deconstructions" aimed at grown men such as Madoka Magica and Yuki Yuna, as well as most shonen/seinen shows such as Naruto and Death Note, which says a lot. Honestly, whenever I feel like watching a show with empowering and respectful depictions of teenage girls that treats them as bright and intelligent and actually unique from one another, I just watch Equestria Girls, Liv and Maddie, LoliRock, ANT Farm, Moesha, PreCure, or Sailor Moon. Because the way the show acts towards them is deplorable, absolutely deplorable.

Yes to all of the above. Almost all of the girls are involved in love affairs in some way, the two teenage girls are irredeemable while Felix got a sympathetic backstory right away (Chloe took forever to get hers which is a failure), and Marinette is flawed because she’s “too emotional” (a misogynistic stereotype).

Anonymous said:

Hi, I'm the anon who got upset at the lady who made the "Miraculous Ladybug is a Mess" rant, and yes, thank you zodiacspirit17 for liking and agreeing with my rant! I'm glad someone else saw that video! And ugh, Marinette learning to love Chat Noir? Really? I don't remember that line but I also don't want to go back and revisit it to make sure so I'll take your word for it. Ew. That was actually one of the things I hated about the Glaciator scene. Chat was supposedly comforting Marinette by taking her to the rooftop where he planned Ladybug's date, and yet only Marinette finds out about Chat's crush on Ladybug and comforts him on that(while rethinking her feelings), while all Chat knows is that Marinette's heart was also broken. He never asks who it is, or tries to help her get over her crush even if he doesn't know it's coincidentally him.

I know it's because of the "love square" but it's unfair that only Chat's love problems are directly addressed. Come to think of it, the reason Chat took Marinette to the rooftop...I know he was doing it in-universe to help her instead of intruding on her personal feelings(which might have also been why he didn't ask her who her crush was, he was probably thinking along the lines of "we don't have to talk about it right now, we can just have fun!"), but meta-wise, since we know she's Ladybug, the writers were probably trying to tell her "See? This is what you could've been doing, but you missed it. Shame on you!" That's a huge issue I have with the show: characters will do things in-universe to help Marinette, but the show has a different motive in mind. Compare to how Tikki gave actual advice to Marinette in Puppeteer 2, but the writers intended that for the statue scene so they could embarrass her in front of Adrien and the thousands of eyes watching the show(except we're not laughing.). Even if characters do support her, the writer is using them as props for her ritualized humiliation. And yet Luka is the problem somehow.

If Marinette needs to learn how to love Chat Noir, then it should at least be balanced out by Adrien learning to Marinette. I'm sick of this double standard that "girls need to learn to accept boys who like them but guys can do what they want". Another thing she said was that "Marinette needs to learn to define herself outside of who she's crushing on." NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. You see, unlike Adrien, Marinette HAS a life outside of who she's crushing on: she has school, she has Kitty Section, she has her "girl squad", she has her parents, she has her outside family, she babysits Alya's and Nino's siblings, and she has OH YEAH HER FASHION DESIGNING! I didn't even count being a superhero since Adrien does that, too. She has so many things to do outside of Adrien, and yet the fact that she makes gifts for Adrien or dreams about Adrien or wants to have kids with Adrien somehow makes her nothing but an "Adrien fangirl"?

First of all, she's the bloody protagonist?! That's such a "Real Women Don't Wear Dresses" argument, that she can't have her own life AND be in love at the same time! And somehow her crushing on Luka also means her life revolves around him, too! But Adrien's life doesn't revolve around Ladybug even though he doesn't really have anything going for him in his ordinary life? Outside of being rich, hot, white, and male, that is? What are his interests and hobbies, besides what Gabriel lets him do to pass the time? He doesn't even like modeling! And the Agreste plot is more about Gabriel, Emilie, and Nathalie than it is about him.

And what about his friendship with Nino? He didn't even care that Nino was getting strung along by Lila with the others! What about his friendship with Chloe that also waxes and wanes? Granted, Chloe's not a GOOD person, which that lady acknowledged, but she at least tried to change and has more development than him, the writers just won't let her change. I hate when people come for Marinette for doing literally anything when the show won't let her have agency and progress. It's so unfair of her and I wish they could see that. These double standards are driving me insane and they're sexist(maybe even a little bit racist, too), and it hurts even more when a woman's doing those things.

(I had to cut off some of this ask because I didn’t get all of it, so I cut it off at the point where it still seemed like a full ask.)

I FEEL THE “GLACIATOR” THING SO BAD. It hurts even worse when you realize that “Frozer” has to take place after “Glaciator,” so Chat Noir heard that Marinette has love problems and then ignored it to ask her for advice about his own love problems later on. The total lack of insensitivity???

Also, the idea that Marinette’s life would revolve around her crush on Luka is stupid. It’s the exact opposite, in fact.

Meanwhile, Adrien has so little going for him and the “interesting” parts of him involve who he’s connected to or what his father has forced him into.

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definitely-not-karen · 3 years

Text

My unnecessary and irrelevant reviews about the transformers media I have consumed.

Please let me have this. I was doom scrolling and transformers is my comfort fandom.

G1: I have not watched all of it, I do plan on doing so but I did watch it when I was younger and does invoke nostolgia. I watched it on Teletoon Retro (does that even exist anymore?) ((just googled it, rip teletoon retro)). For some reason I really like the episode The Ultimate Weapon. I am a huge fan of First Aid and it was because of this episode and I have no idea why. Rodimus is the main character of that episode with First Aid just having a very prominent role in the side story of that episode. I really liked the Aerialbots and their storyline with the time traveling and the not knowing if they’re on the right side was really cool. Honestly the animation errors and weird inconsistent story are part of the charm I guess.

RID 2001: another show I’ve only seen tidbits of. I watched this one via random episodes illegally uploaded to YouTube in the early to mid 2010s and now all those videos are taken down. As a lover of camp, this is camp. I love it. Transformers as a concept is pretty camp (which is why I adore it) and I definitely will watch all of this one day. Though Sideburn is cool and all, I do wish he didn’t chase a red sports car every episode. Otherwise he’s one of my favourites cause himbo rights I guess.

Transformers IDW 2005: So... I read the entirety of the idw comics purely because I found out Thundercracker was a screenplay writer and I wanted to read the entire story so I got the complete context of his development from scary fighter jet to an Oscar winner. I was not disappointed, I was met with queer and trans representation of all sorts, a diverse storyline with action filled parts, comedy elements, slice of life, political drama, adventure, horror, and the best road trip through space. Honestly I was not expecting transformers of all things to have queerness represented so casually and quite well in my opinion (though technically they are guilty of bury your gays, I don’t count it cause there was a clear reason for that death) Thundercracker was marked as one of my favourites cause of this series. I did experience a wonderful story because I wanted to see how he got his happy ending. My biggest criticism of idw transformers is that I love their interpretations of characters and sadly I know I’ll probably never get to seen them like that again. But if I want to experience those characters like that, I’ll just re read it I guess.

Transformers Animated: I have watched the entirety of this great show twice and it still love it. Funny characters, a human character that has a purpose, and a fun change to the formula, Transformers Animated has one of my favourite Optimus and made a Bumblebee so lovably loud they had to take away his voice so he wouldn’t become too powerful. Loved all of the characters except the human villains, Headmaster did not age well and I wasn’t in love with Ratchet’s design but his personality more than made up for it. If you want more animated, I love Transformers ReAnimated the void is filled by that series and channel. While I wish it got another season, it’s ending was satisfying enough I guess.

Transformers Prime: Smokescreen is great and was underutilizes -100/10. Just kidding, kind of I really enjoyed Prime. I’ve only watched through it completely once cause when I was a child I did not like the designs since apparently as a child I was a G1 loyalist I guess. Though now Prime has one of my favourite styles that still holds up today. Dramatic story with actual character development, I can over look that the plots a tad slow. I wish Breakdown was utilized more and it also could have benefited from an extra season but the movie wrapped it up much better than animated’s ending. Knockout is an amazing character and I was spoiled while I was watching it that he turns Autobot though I didn’t realize that wasn’t until the literal end of the series. Would’ve like a completely fleshed out Breakdown and Knockout or at least Knockout redemption arc but there’s always fanfiction I guess.

Robots in Disguise 2015: I didn’t hate it? It definitely helped that I watched this before Prime for some reason. I liked the designs, Sideswipe... himbo rights. Biggest flaw is the lack of character growth. I just want nice things for Sideswipe, Strongarm and Fixit. Grimlock was fun, I like Bumblebee trying to be a good leader and Optimus should have stayed dead. The crossover and referenced to Rescue Bots was fun and Blurr and Sideswipe was the rivalry I didn’t know I needed. But the one I really needed was Smokescreen in there too. The ending arc was interesting though not executed the best and Steeljaw did a lot of the heavy lifting for the villain side to a point where they over utilized him and his character suffered as a result. Windblade was not as bad as people online said she was, splitting the group up into two was stupid cause I’m bitter and still don’t want Optimus there. Also long list of underutilization: Denny and Russel Clay, Jazz, all the characters from prime except Optimus and Bee, Jetfire and Jetstorm, More Rescue bots, and many more! Like that girl that’s Russel’s friend that I literally don’t remember because I’m pretty sure the writers forgot about her! Anyways, in retrospect the show probably wasn’t great but I liked it I guess.

Rescue Bots: This show is way better than it needed to be. I actually love the no Decelticons and war. I’m a sucker for slice of life and especially slice of life with a twist. Human villains that were actually interesting, actual character development, continuity (somewhat), great human characters all while being target for children. I’m so happy I watched this show while I was kind of the target age and rewatching it for the third time was great cause some of the science jargon actually made sense to me. Satisfying ending too and honestly it can just appeal to everyone. Love all four of the main rescue bots and constantly wish they made evergreen designs and toys for them so they could at least make cameos in other transformers media. Sometimes it’s nice to have transformers being wholesome I guess.

Rescue Bots Academy: ... I was not the age democratic for this show and I somehow still liked it? Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been gravitating to more wholesome content due to current events but it was actually good? Love all the students, I do miss the old crew and characters like Doc Green and Frankie are under utilized and the Burns family is almost nowhere to be found :(. Once again there’s some actual character development and Hot Shot’s mentor relationship with Heatwave is super sweet. Also actually having positive post war Decepticon and Autobot relationships in this children’s show? Woah. Biggest issue is like RID 2015; the lack of continuity and characters completely disappearing. Perceptor was fun and I was not expecting him to appear. And I love me some microscope dude. It was a good send off for the aligned continuity I guess.

Cyberverse: ending too soon. I was about to be upset that bumblebee didn’t have his voice but he had his voice in his head which was great. Episodes like the velocitron one was really good and it definitely got better with each season and peaked in the Quintesson arc and then rolled to the cancellation date. Thundercracker shouldn’t have been killed off but I’m very biased. Seeing the rebuilding of Cybertron was cool. Windblade and Bumblebee had a fun relationship. I really liked this iteration of Grimlock. Perceptor was super interesting but then they did nothing with him after the Quintesson arc which was a shame and I would have liked to see better relationships between the Autobots and Decepticons after the team up. Also wholesome Whirl was fun. Honestly this needed one more season so bad. I just think it could have been great if it got one. But it’s still good I guess.

War for Cybertron: ...let’s see how I feel after Kingdom comes out but right now, meh. For me my favourite transformers characters usually end up being side characters due to me wishing they had more screen time so in this case, Red Alert is great please show me more of Red Alert. I get what all the people are saying about the voice acting and whatever but I can look past it (though please give us Peter Cullen or let the current VC make his own Optimus voice). But one thing is that all the YouTube reviewers be saying that I completely agree with is that it’s dark. Like lighting wise. I occasionally had trouble making out what was happening because it was dark. Honestly my biggest issue isn’t a fault of the show. I like development of multiple characters to be shown so I can fall in love with a multitude of characters but due to short seasons, it makes sense to focus in completely on one character at a time. Siege in my opinion at least let me see more of the background characters rather than Earthrise but I’d probably like Earthwise more if I was a bigger fan of Optimus. I’m going to watch Kingdom but I’m not expecting to be wowed I guess.

In conclusion, I should watch Beast Wars, I’m going to re read the ending of Lost Light again and revel in the melancholic ending I adore and I really like Thundercracker and First Aid. One great thing about transformers and other franchises that have been around for awhile, if you don’t like the current thing, there’s plenty of last media and you probably won’t need to wait too long for the next piece of media you’ll hopefully like.

Please be good idw 2019, I’ve read a bit of you and I have a scrap of hope. Oh please please please be good. Give some characters the Thundercracker treatment.

#idw transformers #transformers #transformers idw #transformers rid2015 #transformers rescue bots #transformers prime #transformers cyberverse

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rocknvaughn · 4 years

Text

New Colin Morgan Interview with Edge Media Network about Benjamin - UPDATED

I am reblogging this because, after the author was made aware of an error in the posting of his article (if anyone clicked through to read it on the site, there was a whole question and answer that was repeated), the error was corrected and another three questions and answers were added! I am correcting it here, but they were very interesting, so I suggest you read the full article again!

I shall post the link at the bottom, but I wanted to type it out so that non-English speakers could more easily translate it. (This article was listed in their “Gay News” section of the site, hence the focus on the gay roles.)

British Actor Colin Morgan: How the Queerly Idiosyncratic ‘Benjamin’ Spoke to Him

by Frank J. Avelia

In writer-director Simon Amstell’s sweet, idiosyncratic, semi-autobiographical comedy, “Benjamin,” Colin Morgan plays the titular character, an insecure filmmaker trying to resuscitate his waning career (at least it’s waning in his mind) after one major cine-indie success. Benjamin is also doing his best to navigate a new relationship with a young French musician (Phenix Brossard of “Departures”).

Thanks to the truly endearing, multifaceted talents of Morgan, Benjamin feels like an authentic creation--one that most audiences can empathize with. Sure, he’s peculiar, has a legion of self-esteem issues and an almost exasperating need for acceptance as well as an inconvenient talent to self-sabotage the good in his life. But who can’t relate to some or all of that?

“Benjamin” is one of the better queer-themed films to come out in recent years, in large part because it eschews emphasis on the queer nature of the story. Instead, the film is a fascinating character study with Morgan slowly revealing layers and unpacking Benjamin’s emotional baggage.

Morgan is a major talent who has been appearing across mediums in Britain for many years. His London theatre debut was in DBC Pierre’s satire, “Vernon God Little” (2007), followed by the stage adaptation of Pedro Almodovar’s “All About My Mother” (2007), opposite Diana Rigg. Numerous and eclectic stage work followed (right up until the Corona shutdown) including Pedro Miguel Rozo’s “Our Private Life” (2011), where he played a bipolar gay, Jez Butterworth’s dark comedy, “Mojo” (2013), Arthur Miller’s “All My Sons” opposite Sally Field (2019), and Caryl Churchill’s “A Number” (2020), to name a few.

His TV work includes, “Merlin” (playing the wizard himself), “Humans” and most recently, in a very memorable episode of “The Crown”. Onscreen he can be seen in “Testament of Youth”, “Legend” with Tom Hardy, “Snow White and the Huntsman” and Rupert Everett’s take on Oscar Wilde, “The Happy Prince.”

He’s played a host of gay roles in the past on stage, screen and TV.

EDGE recently interviewed the star of “Benjamin” about the new film and his career.

Why Benjamin?

EDGE: What drew you to this project and were you part of its development?

Colin Morgan: It’s always the strength of the script for me on any project and Simon’s script was just so well observed, he managed to combine humor and poignancy in delicate measure and when I first read it I found myself being both tickled and touched. Then reading it again and from “the actor” POV... I knew it would be a real challenge and uncharted territory for me to explore. I auditioned for Simon and we tried it in different ways and then when I was lucky enough for Simon to want me on board, we began to work through the script together, because it was clear that this was going to be a very close working relationship... it was important for the level of trust to be high.

EDGE: I appreciated that this was a queer love story where the character’s queerness wasn’t the main focus. Was that also part of the allure of the project?

CM: I think Benjamin’s sexuality is just quite naturally who he is and therefore that’s a given, we’re on his journey to find meaning and love and there’s certainly a freshness to what Simon has written in not making sexuality the main focus.

Great chemistry

EDGE: Can you speak a but about the process involved in working with Amstell on the character and his journey?

CM: Simon and me worked very closely over a period of weeks, at that time prior to shooting I was doing a theatre project not far from where he lived so I would go to him and rehearse and discuss through the whole script all afternoon before going to do the show that night, so that worked out well. It’s so personal to Simon, and to have had him as my guide and source throughout was fantastic because I could ask him all the questions and he could be the best barometer for the truth of the character; a rare opportunity for an actor and one that was so essential for building Benjamin. But ultimately Simon wanted Benjamin to emerge from somewhere inside me and he gave me so much freedom to do that also.

EDGE: You had great chemistry with Phenix Brossard. Did you get to rehearse?

CM: Phenix is fantastic, Simon and me did chemistry reads with a few different actors who were all very good but Phenix just had an extra something we felt Benjamin would be drawn to. We did a little bit of rehearsal together but because it was a relationship that was trying to find itself there was a lot of room for spontaneity and uncertainty between us, which is what the allure of a new relationship is all about, the excitement and fear.

Liberating process

EDGE: Did your process meld with Amstell’s?

CM: I’ve said this a lot before and it’s true, Simon is one of the best directors I’ve worked with. Everything he created before shooting and then maintained on set was special. We always did improvised versions of most scenes and always the scripted version too. It was such a creative and liberating process. That is exactly the way I love to work. And for a director to maintain that level of bravery, trust and experimental play throughout the whole shoot stands as one of the most rewarding shooting experiences I’ve had.

EDGE: When I spoke with Rupert Everett about “The Happy Prince,” he very proudly boasted about his ensemble. Can you speak about working with Rupert as he balanced wearing a number of creative hats?

CM: Again, this was an extremely rewarding project to work on and quite a similar relationship as with Simon in the respect that Rupert was the writer/director and Oscar Wilde is so personal to him. And then we also had many scenes together in front of the camera, so Rupert and me had a real 3D experience together. It was a long time in the making. I was on board, I think, two years before we actually got shooting so I had a lot of time to work with Rupert and rehearse. He really inspired me, watching him wear all the different creative hats, such a challenging and difficult job/jobs to achieve and he really excelled--plus we just got on very well.

Playing queer roles

EDGE: You haven’t shied away from playing queer roles. Do you think we’re moving closer to a time when a person’s sexual orientation is of little consequence to the stories being told, or should it always matter? Or perhaps we need to continue to evolve as a culture for it to matter less or not at all...

CM: That’s a hard question to answer, I think certainly the shift in people’s attitudes has changed considerably for the better compared to 40 years ago, but there will always be resistance to change and acceptance from individuals and groups whether it be sexuality, religion, race, gender--we’re seeing it every day.

Evolution is, of course, inevitable, but if we can learn from the past as we evolve that would be the ideal. Unfortunately, we rarely do learn, and history repeats itself.

EDGE: You were featured prominently in one of my favorite episodes of the “The Crown” (”Bubbikins”) as the fictional journo John Armstrong. Can you speak a bit about working on the show and with the great Jane Lapotaire?

CM: I had an exceptionally good time working on “The Crown.” Director Benjamin Caron, especially, was so prepared and creative, and made the whole experience so welcoming and inclusive. It was an incredibly happy set, with extremely talented people in every department, and I admired the ethos of the whole production and have no doubt that’s a huge ingredient to its success, along with Peter Morgan’s incredible writing.

I was also a fan of the show, and it was an honor to be part of the third season. And I can’t say enough amazing things about Jane Lapotaire. We talked a lot in between filming, and I relished every moment of that.

EDGE: You’ve done a ton of stage work. Do you have a favorite role you’ve played onstage?

CM: I’ve been so lucky with the theatre work I’ve done, to work with such special directors and work in wonderful theatres in London. I’ve worked at the Old Vic and The Young Vic twice each, and they’re always special to me. Ian Rickson is a liberating director, who I love. It’s hard to pick a favorite, because the roles have all been so different and presented different challenges, but, most recently, doing “A Number,” playing three different characters alongside Roger Allam and directed by Polly Findlay, was a really treasured experience, and I never tired of doing that show, every performance was challenging as it was.

Miss the rehearsal room

EDGE: You were doing “A Number” earlier this year. Did you finish your run before the lockdown/shutdown?

CM: Just about! We had our final performance, and then lockdown happened days later. I feel very sorry for the productions that didn’t get the sense of completion of finishing a run. I mean, finishing a full run leaves you in a kind of post-show void anyway, even though you know it’s coming, so to not know it’s coming and have it severed must be even more of a void.

Memories of performing just months ago seem like such an unattainable thing in this COVID world right now. I can’t tell you how much I’m hoping we get back to some semblance of live performance.

EDGE: What was it like to appear onstage opposite Dame Diana Rigg in “All About My Mother?”

CM: Well, I think “iconic” is an apt word for both the experience of working with Diana and the lady herself. In between scenes backstage we used to talk a lot and we got told off for talking too loudly, so Diana began to teach me sign language and we would spell out words to each other, maybe only getting a couple of sentences to each other before she was due on stage and I had to get into position for my next entrance-- we did a radio play together two years ago and she remembered, she said, “Do you remember A-E-I-O-U?” signing out the letters with her hands.

EDGE: None of us knows the future in terms of the pandemic and when we might return to making theatre. I’m a playwright myself and find it all supremely frustrating but I’m trying to remain hopeful! Where are you right now in terms of the standstill we are in and what the future might hold?

CM: Yes, I’m so worried for theatre. It’s a devastating blow. I’m sure as a playwright, you know that the creative spirit in individuals hasn’t been diminished by this virus. People are creating important art in this crisis but we need the platforms to present it and bring people to some light again out of this really scary period, but it needs to be safe and it’s a worrying time. The virtual theatre approach must be looked at I think. We need to experiment and find new paths at least for the time being. I’m involved in developing some things right now and how we can work on things in both an isolated and collaborative way. It’s entirely counterintuitive to what the family-feel and close bond of a group in a rehearsal room is like-- I miss the rehearsal room so much!-- but we can’t sit still, we must create and we must act.

What’s in a role?

EDGE: Looking back on the great success of “Merlin,” what are your takeaways from that experience?

CM: Some of the most treasured memories of my life will forever be connected to “Merlin,” the cast, crew, production, everyone! The invaluable training of being in front of a camera every day! The chance to inhabit a character and live with him for five seasons! There’s too much to list and words probably won’t do justice anyway, but I’m truly grateful for everything the show gave me.

EDGE: How do you select the roles you play?

CM: I guess they select me in a way. I can’t play a role unless it speaks to me and provokes me in some way, but ultimately it’s the characters that I have a fear about playing, not knowing how I’m going to enter into the process of living them, when I don’t have all the answers it’s a good indicator of a character I must play. If I have all the answers, there’s less scope for exploration and discovery which isn’t as interesting for me.

Link here

#colin morgan #interview #14 july 2020 #edgemedianetwork #benjamin #transcription

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wanderinginksplot · 4 years

Text

Clone Trooper Rambles

Watch me try to navigate everyday things that should come easy to me, but I need most of a battalion of clone troopers to have the courage for. Other parts here.

The Aftermath

When I walked through the door, barely three hours had passed. Rex was nowhere to be seen, but one of my roommates was home.

“Hey! How was it?”

I shrugged. “It was fine. I’m pretty tired, though. I think I’m just going to shower and go to bed.”

“Okay, but I want to hear all about it tomorrow!”

I agreed vaguely and went to my bedroom. Rex was sitting on the floor, leaning back against my bed. He had a datapad out and it looked like he was poring over some reports that looked dry even from across the room. His helmet barely turned in my direction as I stepped into the room. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to initiate a conversation, so I just walked around, gathering my pajamas in silence.

Just before I stepped into the bathroom, Rex spoke. “Did you have fun?”

“Tons,” I said shortly, closing myself in the bathroom the moment after I answered.

When I got out of the shower, I spent a little more time than usual on my eye moisturizer. I had cried in the shower. Just a bit, but enough to make my eyes feel gross.

A hesitant knock sounded at the door and I couldn’t do much more than stare at it. Troopers didn’t knock. If the bathroom door was closed, they ignored that it even existed, and if it was open, they just barged in. I hadn’t actually known that they could knock.

But still, when the knock came again, it wasn’t accompanied by the voice of my roommate. It had to be Rex. “Uh… yeah?”

Rex spoke from outside the door, but closely so. “Are… Is-?” He stopped talking for long enough to sigh. “Can I come in?”

That was an interesting question. The troopers weren’t exactly corporeal, but I couldn’t remember seeing them walk through anything. “Can you?”

“...May I?”

“No, I-” I opened the door rather than attempt to explain further. We were two seconds away from becoming a comedy of errors as it was.

Rex walked into the bathroom slowly, watching my face with an intensity that was frankly starting to freak me out. “Are you okay?”

Ugh. I knew that gentle tone. That was the tone of pity. “What?” I asked, trying to laugh him off. “Yes. Are you?”

The relief on Rex’s face was palpable and almost comedic. “Good. I’m fine.”

“Perfect,” I said blandly, attempting to subtly blow my nose as he turned to leave.

He paused, shoulders tightening. The next moment, he was turning back around. When he spoke, his voice was still doing the gentle-pity thing, but now with a layer of resignation. “You aren’t okay, are you?”

“Of course I am. Why?”

“I can hear it in your voice. What happened?”

I brushed past him to sit on my bed, wet hair dripping irritatingly down my arms. “Nothing. It was just… a bad date. That’s it.”

“Did he do something he shouldn’t have?” Rex asked, the beginnings of answer in his voice.

‘Why? Would you go beat him up?” I asked, cracking a smile for the first time in hours. “You can’t touch people. I see that going well.”

“Something had to have happened,” Rex mused aloud, ignoring me now. “What makes a date bad?”

Poor guy. He really was at least as uncomfortable as I was, and I had gotten my fill of awkwardness earlier. I took pity on both of us. “He was condescending. He thought I was stupid because of my job. That was very clear in the way he spoke to me.”

Rex looked outright alarmed and that’s how I knew I had let another few tears out. I laughed as I swiped them away, but it was such a thick, clogged-sounding thing that I stopped. “These are angry tears, not sad tears.”

“I care more that they’re tears,” Rex told me. I was shocked out of my self-pity when he sat down on the bed, too. I hadn’t really known he could sit when he wasn’t in a car. “You know you’re not stupid.”

“I do know, and that’s why I’m so pissed off!” I answered, maybe a bit too loud. “I’m in school and I’m doing well. Just because he already graduated with an advanced degree…”

“Will you have degrees for the same thing?”

I snorted. “No. I actually stand a chance at getting a job in my field, even if my degree isn’t as high as his.”

“Good,” Rex said, clearly satisfied. “That di’kut deserves nothing but trouble.”

“I agree.” I couldn’t keep the satisfaction out of my own voice, but I really wasn’t trying very hard. “Thanks, Rex.”

“Anytime.”

---

A/N - Coming to you live, no proofreading, because I’ve challenged myself to post something every day for the rest of 2020. Enjoy!

Previous | Next | Masterlist

#Clone Trooper Rambles #captain rex #bad date #clone troopers deserve better #not crazy just creative #more to come

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youarejesting · 4 years

Text

Electronic Tonic

[SPARKS MASTERLIST]

Pairing: Robot!Jimin x Reader

Genre: Friendship, Comedy, Soft boy, Fluff, Implied Smut

Summary: You had a robot since you were in your late teens, upgrading his systems ever since you had a job. Now you run your own bar, while you make the drinks he serves. However, it seems some patrons can’t resist his charm and handsome features. After an incident that sends a shock down his systems, he seems to feel and think a little differently.

Announcement: I just hit 800+ followers!!! Thanks so much. This is a little something I wrote on my phone today and thought I would post.

Jimin was a robot. But not a very good one. At least that’s what he was told by the customers. He was a waiter at a bar. He would carry drinks across the floor and smile politely when he was called derogatory terms and they tried to touch him.

“Hey pretty boy, how much for a little extra service?” One guy shouted

“Good evening sir, I have many skills and programs used within this job. My job requirements include delivering drinks, chatting with customers, upselling, cleaning spills, and maintaining peace inside the bar” Jimin smiled wiping their table and taking empty cups before leaving.

“Robots like you are useless” he scoffed his friends chortling behind him.

“Hey, Chimmy baby” He looked over,all his programs seemed to slow down his taut belts and wires loosening some of the tension. His facial recognition matched you as his boss and owner who was in the friend's category. Your emotions were happy if your smile was anything to go by and he couldn’t help smiling back.

He didn’t like when others called him pet names, it made his programs go haywire in confusion, were they being nice or were they being manipulative. But when you called him terms of endearment it made his circuits tingle in a way he liked. He would love to feel that every day if he could.

“Order for table twenty one, we got a vodka sunrise, a fruit tingle and a margarita. It seems like a girls night if they try to keep you, call for me” You smiled as he loaded up his tray.

“Of course, Miss y/n”

“Chim, I told you not to call me that?”

“Would you prefer boss?”

“Just y/n (or nickname)” your laugh made him feel like, he was good like he wasn’t completely useless. He left to deliver the drinks and you watched him go. His moves more elegant than a human’s, it was so smooth and graceful, each carefully calculated and controlled. He was a strange robot, he was about 5’10 (as to not appear intimidating to customers) he had a lean muscular form.

He was a walking juxtaposition between a soft angelic boy and a demon boy. He had a beautiful androgynous face, his eyes were sultry and lips so plump, his jawline was sharp. When you looked at him, some angles had you breathless.

You knew he had trouble with customers. He was very charming as you had programmed him to be. He was also sassy, shy and yet confident, helpful and enticing, you had rules and your regulars understood not to mess with your employee. But newcomers often found out the hard way that he was not here for their pleasure.

Your bracelet buzzed. A device you created for him to call you when he was in trouble. You went to collect him from the she-wolves, arriving you saw something that stopped your heart. The female threw a drink in Jimin’s face, he glitched and shorted out. Gasping you grabbed him, taking out your phone to call the police. “I have your name and credit card details, you are going to pay for the damage you inflicted on my employee.”

“It’s just a robot, how much is he worth? three thousand, I will give you a hundred bucks that will cover any shitty wires I fried” she scoffed watching you carry the robot back to the bar. You grabbed your books and opened it to show her, his maintenance and insurance cover.

“This robot was hand-built by me, his net worth is eight million, parts of him are waterproof, and you had to get the part of him that isn’t, wet. If you have broken my eight million dollar employee you will be paying back every penny?”

“He touched me” she accused you could see she was grasping at straws, you pulled up his live recorded footage on your phone which would have saved before he was short-circuited and began playing it for her. You heard her propositioning him for sex multiple times and she went pale.

“That’s classified as sexual assault you are lucky he isn’t a human”

Jimin switched himself back on. He felt funny, he tried to send commands to move, and yet the system wasn’t responding. He wished he could open his eyes. When they did he was confused, the probability of him being able to move whilst his systems were down should have been damn near impossible.

“Miss y/n, it seems my waterproofing has been compromised, I will need some assistance” The patrons in the bar started leaving understanding that their night was over, due to this incident. Some of the regulars lead the newcomers out explaining that the woman had damaged staff and the bar would be shut down until it was resolved. It could take days or weeks.

“What you can’t do that we just got here?” The young men from earlier heckled, you turned to them eyes blaze ready to murder anyone who opposed you, they blanched “we are paying customers”

“Look just get the fuck out of the bar” Jimin growled you turned back shocked, he had just swore. Of course he knew the words but he was too shy and nice to ever use them.

Jimin felt unrestricted like he could do anything and the problem was he didn’t know what to do without his programs. He didn’t like seeing you upset angry or worried and though his facial readers were offline he somehow could tell how you felt. He didn’t have his programs to tell him how to resolve the situation but he wanted to hold you. The police arrived helping to clear everyone out and the woman gave her statement you gave them the live video footage.

Once they had left, you sat Jimin on the bar and unbuttoned his shirt, he seemed to breathe a little differently. He didn’t need to breathe but you added it as a feature to make him appear more human and life-like.

He was feeling all sorts of weird today, as you touched his body trying to open his chest panel. He didn’t understand but he wanted you to keep touching him, and he wanted to touch you as well. Whatever this was he knew his systems were deficient in it and at this moment it seemed detrimental for his maintenance to feel your hands on his silicone skin. He had touch sensors and they must have been damaged because every touch felt like he was growing a hundred degrees. Perhaps his cooling system had broken.

There was a reason he was eight million dollars you had been upgrading him since you got out of school. Spending days and money and energy making a best friend, a companion, an employee, someone you could always lean on when you needed it.

You tried to fix the damage, carrying him upstairs. His skeletal system was hollow titanium strong but light weight. Plugging him into your computer to perform some checks and maintenance it would tell you which systems were working and which needed to be replaced.

Plugging him in as he laid on the workbench watching you, you hit the power down button. Jimin’s eyes closed and you heard everything power down and back up. The errors were fixed with your maintenance programs and you had a few parts to tinker with before he was back to normal.

A few panels and receptors later you were almost done, you went to retro his face when you paused. You had ordered a new face piece the same exact look, if not more realistic. You didn’t want Jimin to appear different. He was your soulmate best friend and companion. The new silicone face ensured he would be entirely water proof. And safe from customers and when you plugged in the facial cords to the face panel you knew he would move so much more life like.

His eyes opened and he felt like he was working again but he felt different like he was limited, the access he had was gone and his weird thoughts and feelings were no more. He was just Jimin your robot, he frowned.

“Is something wrong?”

“I am expressing the emotion sadness and it is unclear why. The source is undetected, why do I feel sad miss y/n? It’s hidden deep within me and makes me want to stay dominant and run binary alone, so many zero’s”

“Chimmy look at me, it’s okay to feel sad it’s human to feel things”

“But I am a robot?”

“Yes but I gave you emotions just like a human would feel in response to external stimuli, it was a bad night and you got hurt so you feel bad that is understandable”

“I am sad because I am not human” Jimin’s palm rested against your heart sensing the tiny flicks of life behind your rib cage. The structure of your bodies was almost identical, but he didn’t have this. He didn’t have a heart. “Why didn’t you make me a heart?”

“I did Jimin, you have the biggest heart. There is a reason why you are so expensive, right here, it doesn’t beat but it works the same. Thirty trillion transistors in a quadruple-chip processor they switch on and off rapidly sending signals around your body. And here is your brain I hand-coded programs that can run self-sufficient and you have a learning system so anything you don’t know you can learn and store yourself”

“Here is your stomach, we give you oil in here every morning remember, you love that, and beside that is your battery you sleep every night beside me chim”

“I want to feel love?” He whispered this small confession shocked you, “can you let me feel it program me to feel love, I watch people at the bar and they kiss and touch and I don’t feel it”

“Jimin, it’s not something I can program, love is the hardest emotion of them all and it’s shown through expression,” you said softly taking his hand his transistor switching faster behind his silicon chest piece.

“My facial recognition and emotional receptors have never seen you in love, can you not feel it either? Why do those people from the dramas you watch get to fall in love? It's all a lie.”

You had never seen Jimin act like this, it was as if he was a pubescent teen, throwing tantrums. Because life wasn’t fair. He grabbed your face in his cool smooth hands and pulled you forward crashing his lips to yours. You felt intoxicated. He tasted like the cinnamon alginate that he used to brush his ceramic teeth with every morning.

These silicone lips were soft and smooth feeling like silk brushing against yours. They were plush and mouldable and you lost yourself in the moment thinking he was real that this was something more than a robot. He was a robot. Feeling like you were a villain stealing this poor boy's virtue, you pulled away.

His hardware let out a long continuous beep, “I feel funny, I like it” he buzzed against you. He licked his lips, touching them, remembering the feeling of yours pressed there, it wasn’t the same. He wanted to kiss you again.

His hands ran down your neck to your waist scooping you up into his arms once more pulling you onto the work bench. Leaning in kissing you again. “Ji-” you tried to push him away but he was caught up kissing your lips and touching your warm skin. “Jimin stop we can’t?”

“Why?” He paused looking up at you confused “does it not feel nice to you?”

“It feels amazing chim it’s just” you could barely get words out around moans as he kissed your neck.

“These are the moans you told me about correct, you are feeling good right?”

One night you had taken the time to relieve your work stress, you thought Jimin had been charging. You later found out he charged rather quickly and would just lay there till morning every night.

You were busy bringing yourself to a beautiful ecstasy when you moaned particularly loudly. Jimin ‘woke’ alerted by your sound of assumed distress, you awkwardly explained to him the situation.

“I wasn’t in pain, its something people do?” “Why?” “Because it makes them feel good and when your stressed it helps” you tried to explain cheeks red and unable to look at him. “How?” “It’s hard to explain but it just releases tension and hormones that make you happy” saying it out loud it didn’t seem like you should be embarrassed about it.

“Can I see, or help?” “Uh no people don’t usually show other people unless they are lovers it’s usually something private” he nodded dropping the subject but a million questions raised in his head. He spent the evening researching online all his questions diving deeper and deeper into this strange phenomenon and the two of you never spoke of it again.

“It feels so good Jimin but we shouldn’t?”

“But I love you, we could be lovers” he smiled “online it says that some robots are sexual companions I could be that with you? I could be useful”

“Jimin I am not your master I am your friend, I will never force you to do anything you don’t want to do”

“But I want you and I want you to want me too”

“You don’t know that Chim, I programmed you to be helpful and loving and you think this is what you want but it’s just the programs”

“You said it yourself, I have a learning algorithm. This isn’t the programs not anymore” He blinked up at you placing his hand over your heart. “Tell me you don’t want this, I have a built-in lie detector, tell me you don’t want me”

“I can’t” when he determined you were speaking the truth he leaned forward placing a delicate kiss to your lips and asking for your permission.

Unable to hold back any more you said yes and he grabbed his shirt and then yours laying waste to your clothes.

How can I save this to receive and read updates?

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popcornbutterflymedia · 3 years

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ORIGIN STORIES IN THE FINER DETAILS. four sisters and a wedding is one of those classic star cinema movies that is so grand it has a life of its own, a life that is growing exponentially larger in time, through quotable quotes, memes, and the place it occupies in pinoy pop culture. i’d watched this movie in the cinemas just as i had almost all star cinema movies for as long as i can remember. i may have written about it too, i cannot remember. i do not remember writing, not because it was forgettable, but because the movie is self-explanatory, the movie stands on its own two feet that words were unnecessary.

the news of a prequel to the 2013 hit was curious. a movie as iconic in its grandeur, comedy, and what seemed, on the surface, like a caricature of the filipino family, surely did not need a prequel. it was too risky. because of this curious choice, the casting of the four younger salazar sisters was met with nonchalance from my end, as much as it is a foregone conclusion that i would watch the movie, even if that means having to teach myself online payment and viewing schemes. anything to help abs-cbn, star cinema. anything by and for miss van and direk mae. they know that.

the junket was a reminder of how much joy i find in stripping down stories to its heart, dismantling stories only to build it up again, with better understanding while doing so. starting points, beginnings, and histories sold this film to me. that the whys, the reasons for being of the four adult salazars will be answered by this prequel is compelling to me. i have, at least that. especially when the riot of the trailer challenged that belief. that is precisely the genius of star cinema, in reeling you in with all the fun and games and then, unknowingly speaking to your heart so clearly.

do not be fooled by very valid comedic errors and the riot of a spy caper. beyond the laughs is a story of a filipino family built on trust, coexistence, and the individuality to be found within the family unit. it’s a story about the hearts that mold us, the histories that shape us, the choices that separate us, our sense of home and the ties that bind.

a narrative isn’t a narrative without a problem to be solved. there would be no problem to be solved without a conflict. the strength of a story lies in how the different characters each respond to, and process the conflict. i have so much appreciation for how the core conflict, and the processing of said conflict were sustained and varied according to need and character. the beauty, found in how seamlessly these many unique components align. when the alignment is quiet and subtle, the story is told with so much grace. this story has so much grace.

for an ensemble, this movie isn’t a casting coup. it isn’t about the stars it lacked (i watch enough of rise, and frankly, enough of the network that i recognize the girls and everyone in the cast), it’s more that the girls, the rest of the cast, worked quietly. the filming seemed calmer...blame the pandemic for this.

while the girls aren’t unknowns, a measure of trust in the casting gods, in the production, in miss van and direk mae was necessary. i did not see it. or the adult salazars are such iconic queens that even when there was something to see i was unconsciously blind to it? i had to see them in character to realize i was right to trust.

stars were born.

this is a prequel that could stand alone. there was no time to watch the first movie before this one, and so, i was scared the experience would be incomplete. those fears were unwarranted. instead of digesting the salazar saga in chronological order, i love that this provides lightbulb moment after lightbulb moment for the first film. those eureka moments were only possible because the cast, headed by those four girls were perfect for the big shoes they filled in.

charlie dizon as teddie (previously played by toni gonzaga) - my introduction and journey with charlie is an interesting one. i have watched the girl since ‘bagani,’ ‘seven sundays,’ and á soldier’s heart.’ the first two saw her trying to find her footing, pitted against more experienced actors. as such, it should be understandable that her beginnings in the industry showed her as a greenhorn. i stand by my feedback back then when i say, ‘she isn’t bad, she’s just a beginner and the contrast with the veteran actors clearly shows.’ i do not know what i was expecting of her back then, but by ‘a soldier’s heart’ i was surprised that she had moments, and those moments were impressive. i now understand that her charm and her skill stems from being as natural as possible, from not even trying. speech and diction, i am told, could improve, but for now, i feel like that speech and diction is helping her define herself (in ‘fangirl’ especially, which i am extremely excited about). back to being teddie, the girl aced toni’s outlandish character, and comedic beats, as well as her no nonsense, at times reckless bluntness. if the viewer did not know any better, one would think it was charlie who provided the blueprint for toni instead of the other way around. as the eldest burdened by the expectations of being the eldest, eventually crushed by the inability to meet them, i believed charlie. i felt for charlie. i feel like this girl was waiting for that role that would flatter her, fit her like a glove, and it’s safe to say that this is it. it took being a salazar to finally see her. all the rest could be learned. charlie’s chemistry with jameson who plays the highschool love is as strong as it is surprising. it proves two things: charlie and jameson are reliable actors, and direk mae does romance so well it is stupefying. through direk mae’s lens, they were both glowing. beyond kilig, teddie and jeremy’s love story is convincing. jameson was sturdy enough as jeremy to be at the receiving end of teddie’s ate and daddy issues. we all know what happened with this love story, but for a moment there i was convinced they were endgame.

alexa ilacad as bobbie (previously played by bea alonzo) - filling in bea alonzo’s shoes alone is a tall order, and while alexa has been a reliable young actress from that pantheon of going bulilit kids, to my mind, bea alonzo’s shoes were still too big even for someone as experienced. and even if she could pull it off, i didn’t know how that would look, what alexa’s interpretation would be. and that not knowing, not being able to foresee makes me nervous. this bobbie is quieter than i expected, comparing it to where bea’s bobbie ended up, steadier with a bit of restlessness. this is one of the few times returning to bea’s portrayal was helpful. alexa’s portrayal fueled the fire of bea’s adult bobbie. does that even make sense? basically, it was clear in the characterization and portrayals of both bobbies that both actresses played one person. alexa’s bobbie was quieter. she bore the brunt of her mother’s micro-agressions. she made herself smaller to accommodate the elder sister. what i initially found to be calmer meltdowns was bobbie trying to balance her selfless nature with the demands of her heart. bobbie’’s major meltdown is bea’s in the first movie not alexa’s. i do not know who is responsible for that choice but it’s one of those lightbulb moments that came to me days after watching the movie and it was so smart!

gillian vicencio as alex (previously played by angel locsin) - this part of the post should come with a disclaimer: gillian is a favorite. gillian is a standout. gillian is a breakout star. and gillian still surprised. there was not a single moment with her. i do not think i’ve even watched any of her movies before this. i alternated between not understanding why she was part of rise, and just not caring. do not get me wrong, i trust star cinema and rise, i knew there was a reason why she was chosen. i just did not see it at first. there was no single moment, no single decision. it was a series of quarantine interviews, on that online rise show especially. it was gradual. the girl demands and commands your attention, in the way she fearlessly engages people like she’s genuinely interested. hers is a courage that i cannot look away from. because i did not watch the first movie before this, i’ve forgotten how edgy alex is, so imagine believing in a girl so much going into my first of experience of her acting, but not knowing what to expect at all to be blown away? it was an internal celebration for me - of the validation of my instincts, and her breakthrough. gillian, as alex manages to fill every moment she is onscreen, that even when it is not her moment, i still feel her, and when she’s not around, her internal tension lingers.

joao as chad is worth a paragraph. this is a moment of bluntness, but i am not the target demographic for boybands and so i tend to be indifferent. joao also came on too strong, which intimidates, so when the boy was cast in that joshlia series a couple of years back, i was one of those who questioned the choice, until i ended up watching him. i was impressed. i was surprised that i was impressed. it was no longer a question of his ability to act when he was included on this major star cinema film, but a question of his chemistry with whoever he ends up working with. in this case, the boy is working with two different girls, two different characters. there’s only one of him so i can only imagine how demanding it was to figure in a triangle with two strong actresses who play characters who manifest strength and presence differently. and surprise, surprise! the boy adjusts. and it works. i am just realizing this as i am writing, but i love that he mellowed when he was with the chill teddie, and he was all edgy and strong around alex. and even when alex was vulnerable, he returned that vulnerability and sincerity differently. the boy met and matched the girls in such unique ways. say hello to my goosebumps as i am writing this. teddie and chad is the steady fire that warms the heart, while alex and chad together are like loud and blinding fireworks that cannot be chased and do not last very long.

belle mariano as gabbie (previously played by shaina magdayao) - belle is another one of those ever reliable former child actors, my favorite child actress to watch play young versions of our queen actresses in teleseryes and such. it’s not like i got to watch her grow up though, so i did not know the kind of actress she was when she was chosen by rise, or even handpicked for ‘he’s into her,’ a story i had heard, but know nothing of. this is the first time i am seeing her in character as a grown up. gabbie, even in the first movie, has always been the steadiest, most grounded of them all. i do not remember gabbie having larger than life meme-ble moments so going into this i did not have anything to latch onto where her character is concerned. i did not know if belle had anything to latch onto for herself. that’s not to say, belle and shaina aren’t amazing actresses or that gabbie is the least of the sisters. i find that to discover her quirks, gabbie requires the most attention. in the trailers, gabbie appeared to be the quietest of the sisters, so quiet, she risks being invisible. as much as i personally understand it, i wondered what her function in the family was. it is a lightbulb moment then, to realize that it is her quiet that magnifies her sisters, her parents’ individual personalities. it is her quiet that allows everyone around her to just be who they are. her quiet means she is okay, and whole on her own that she can afford to be everyone else’s reference point. and that is beautiful. belle played gabbie beautifully. so beautifully, i am actually in tears right now?! wow. gabbie doesn’t need so much herself, that her bonds are singular. that she can choose the people who see her. her essence shines the brightest when she relates and bonds individually, with each of her parents, with each of her sisters, and with jp.

can we please talk about a certain sakristan and the actor who plays him? jeremiah lisbo, to me, is one of the casualties of ‘the pandemic pre-empted ‘make it with you.’ i already had my eye on anthony jennings, (as i should, that boy’s amazing) and honestly, not quite understanding how miah’s character on the show serves the story when that happened to ‘miwy.’ as i was sulking and mourning on the show’s behalf, one of the things i was told was, how it was unfortunate that miah’s arc wasn’t developed and how it was too bad that i wasn’t able to see what the boy can do. i see it now. i fully understand. he doesn’t make things more complicated than it should be. he doesn’t even need too many lines to emotionally communicate. he only needs to look at you with intent. that’s what miah and belle share - an effortlessness, the ability to slip into a character and a required emotion with ease. now, i don’t know what plans rise, star cinema and the network have for miah and belle, but on account of this movie, i would love to see them work together again, never mind the shipping, these two work well together. i also want to see a different ending (not happier, just different). i actually do not mind these two working without a permanent partner, for the freedom to work with anyone who suits a particular character at a particular time. . they can handle themselves well.

back to gabbie, it should be pointed out that on this movie there are two incredibly different kinds of silences - bobbie’s, which is driven by ‘perfection,’ by propriety, and her ‘smallness’ in relation to the rest of her family. it is a quiet that is born out of a need for harmony, whereas gabbie is quiet, still, and steady by nature. that is interesting to see play out, especially in the first movie. one more small thing: i hope this isn’t spoiler-ish, but seeing where shaina was at the start of this movie, for a while there, i thought she could be a nun? that being a nun is a very valid option? that’s just me.

cj, toti marie, lovely mae tete and bette the spy. what do you say to the cast of characters who provide levity to a movie? you thank them. i’ll be the first to tell you that this isn’t my kind of comedy. for a time, it actually felt like an alternate storyline, a movie within the movie. come to think of it, it is reminiscent of those classic 90′s comedies i grew up with. it was entertaining enough though, it made me smile. this subplot was spread enough throughout the entire movie that it made a case for the central conflict of the movie which was the trust issues of all the girls. it was sustained while it was necessary but did not abuse its welcome to the point of tackiness. totie marie is a favorite. the character also managed to make a point for representation which is cool. lovely mae was surprising, scratch your head surprising, but amusing nonetheless. if not for this subplot, this movie would’ve been a heavy filipino family telenovela-ish saga. which isn’t bad per se, but this is the first time in months that ‘we went to the movies’ it wouldn’t hurt to distinguish itself. as it did.

as a lola’s girl, it is imperative that i write about lola ibyang. also, as a lola’s girl, i am generally opposed to villainizing the grandma, never mind that i have watched enough pinoy seryes to be used to it. it is no longer a surprise. in fact, in this case, i expected it. the real, bigger surprise is the fact that grace comes from a well-off, comfortable family. the real surprise to me, is lola ibyang’s heart, how, when. and for what reason that heart of hers was worn on her sleeve. what surprised, is that her one liners that can be misconstrued as veiled threats we’d hear from villains are actually pragmatic, sound advice, that both pulls the family’s patriarch down to earth, and a necessary perspective of what the girls deserve. this reminds me of when my own lola would give me money for no reason at all - ‘reserve,’ just in case i would need it. this also reminds me of how my own mama would get mad at me, because she thought i wasn’t eating in school, because of how much i had saved up, how she would get mad at me for not buying what i want because i was too ‘kuripot.’what will you do with your money if you do not spend it for yourself?’ she used to ask. this is me realizing grace’s reaction towards her mother...while we root for the salazars and cheer for caloy and grace’s love, something must also be said about the mother/daughter dynamic between grace and ibyang. interesting enough. to have irma adlawan play ibyang makes the interesting fascinating. i would say hers is one of my favorites - in terms of how the character was written. i am sorry, i am going through it as i am writing this, realizing just how intricately this is written. see, for some reason, this movie seemed simpler than the other star cinema movies, simpler compared to how i know this team writes. it’s not. it’s such a trademark of this team, and i might be freaking out.

the parental unit, carmina villaroel as grace (played by coney reyes) and dominic ochoa who we meet for the first time on this movie - carmina played grace as any mother should be played, being the primary caregiver, and speaking to grace’s dynamic with her own mother. i was about to say grace is the steady one out of the two parents, but steady doesn’t mean not influential. i would say her constant presence affects the kids more in ways that are stronger and sometimes unflattering. it doesn’t help that she has her own issues to deal with, one of which is that of her and her husband’s issues. i wonder if her unintentional micro-aggressions are also reflective of her relationship with her own mother? or is it just a generational thing?

dominic ochoa as caloy, the previously absent dad. the junket saw dominic ochoa being praised for being a dad, for the different ways he found, a father could be played. i thought that was such generous praise for a character that was previously absent. the fact that this is a story about four daughters, it did occur to me that individual relationships with the father might be important, but without reference from the first movie there was no clue how dominic would play the patriarch. in this movie carmina as grace felt ever present, and dominic as caloy was quiet and subdued, that the praise seemed unwarranted. that is until caloy had moments with each of the girls, most memorable of which is gabbie’s and alex’s. for a singular patriarch he was two different dads to the two girls, depending on who they were and what they needed at that moment. when he faced the all the girls, the youngest boy with grace by his side, and even when he faced his mother in law, you saw a face of strength which manifested itself in the courage of a dependable patriarch, and the walls of a man who has a complex relationship with the mother of his wife. there was nothing in his performance that was loud, obnoxious, or even asserted being a man of the house. but it was never once drowned out by the overwhelming female energy. it was effortless and oddly comforting to watch.

favorite moments:

the original cast

the chaos of the salazar house, overlapping conversations and all

pop culture references of the time. i just smile to myself.

teddie real talking bobbie, because while i know that only sisters can speak to each other that way, and teddie is teddie i also do not know how i feel about her bluntness

bobbie and chad’s music talk. i believed the connection

chad loving how bobbie loves her sisters, alex, in particular. (is this spoiler territory?) but that line.

jp looking at gabbie. because miah surprised, there’s something in how he and belle connected, and...just me and my fascination with an actor’s eyes.

chad and alex’s heartbreak scene, how gillian took that, ran with it, and joao caught up

the parking lot scene. it was a lot but it was clear and precise and i loved it

https://starcinema.abs-cbn.com/2020/12/15/news/easter-eggs-you-probably-missed-from-four-sisters-66365 - this list of easter eggs, i just finished reading, and i fell in love with a movie even more. this list proves that this movie has this team’s stamp all over it. i am not surprised, but i am still in awe and very, very kilig.

the end of the movie says that those who love forgive and are forgiven, accept, to be accepted. in order to forgive and to accept, i always feel like pain and resistance must be embraced with abandon. in this simultaneously loud and quiet, vibrant and beautiful mess of a movie was permission to embrace what needs embracing with abandon, even the not so flattering, not so proper, the hesitations and the insecurities. it allowed me to cry, for that i am grateful.

not that you ever left, but my dear star cinema, it is incredibly comforting to have you back. if content is king, you are royalty, it is not the titles, though that make the stories you tell special. they are special because for all the glitz, glamour, and grandeur of your films, it’s still personal. when i say you know how to tell me a story, you know what that means. every story is a conversation between you and me. you and your audience. they just happen to be blockbusters. thank you for finding ways, leading the way to get to us. much, much power and love. please don’t ever leave us alone again.

see you in the actual cinemas next time, perhaps?! ✨🥰

#film #film: four sisters before the wedding #director: mae cruz-alviar #actress: charlie dizon #actress: alexa ilacad #actress: gillian vicencio #actress: belle mariano

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