#almost to the point of no return
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An Imitation of a God.
He came to me like a prophet, basking in the light of his own greatness and glory.
"Oh, what a boring little dollhouse you have here. Aren't you tired playing babysitter instead of tending to your potential?"
The living embodiment of Olympic Gods, Prometheus and the fire itself.
"Here, I've got a little teeny tiny gift for ya, loser. Everything you've ever craved for, free of charge. Not that you would ever be able to achieve it without me anyway. Enjoy."
I was stunned.
"Don't call me that! I'm perfectly capable of everything you're capable of! I'm you!"
"Ha, nice. Nah, I don't think you are. I don't even think you could ever be like me, not with that wasted life of yours. Unless... you take the chance and actually try to."
The whole universe was laid bare at my feet, waiting for me to make a choice.
"Now behave. And don't make me regret coming here and choosing your ass over a bunch of other loser me's."
How can one deny an ever-expanding spiral of endless opportunities at the cost of just a few severed ties?
So I ran.
I ran.
I couldn't stop running, desperately trying to find a fitting place for me in this big, big world.
Trying to achieve something.
To become someone.
Sometimes I wonder, would my life be a dream or a nightmare if I stayed?
I've never looked back to find out.
I kept thinking about how in my AU Rick Prime managed to surgically fuck up D-512´s life without killing his whole family. And so this piece was born.
Rick D-512 always used to think he can do more. Moreover, he has been told so by everyone he reached for moral support: his parents, his peers, his teachers and professors, and later — his wife. "You're destined for greatness". "You will achieve something incredible".
But could he? Was he right to abandon the idea of Christian God and religion integrated into his family's values and traditions? Was he wasting his time travelling the country doing dubious things and self-exploration? Did he do the right thing when he chose to marry the girl he had madly fallen in love with and become a family man? Did he make the right decision to continue his studies and become a stay-at-home dad and inventor?
Rick Prime said what he had already started to suspect long ago: that he didn't. He couldn't do anything great, not anymore; it's the dead end.
To deny the portal gun meant to lie to himself that he's doing great, he's worth something and is capable of living a life he'd truly enjoy with what he's got at the moment.
To take the portal gun meant to admit that he's someone far less than The Rickest Rick, but at the same time to also take in on opportunity to find out, what it's like — to be one. At the cost of leaving his family behind, of course.
In the end, he just keeps trying to prove himself he's great and worth loving, while being unsure of his own identity and scared shitless to look back at what he's lost. What a sad guy. Fuck him anyways.
#fawn writes#rick and morty#rick sanchez#rick d-512#rick prime#lore dump#rick prime just nudged him deeper into the pit he was already in#almost to the point of no return#it's funny how he sees prime as both the god and the devil#showing him his lowly place and talking shit#but at the same time bestowing a wonderous gift upon him#oh that trope of ill-intended patronage
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tfone au where OP is created as the last of the primes but way after them, a sparkling born at what were thought to be the last days of the war against the quintessons, the beginning of a new generation of peace after eons of war. a child meant to be loved and raised knowing nothing of war nor sacrifice.
he's kept mostly out of the spotlight by his siblings, who don't wish to expose him to everyone's optics so young, and want to wait until the war is done and over to properly introduce him to their people.
except of course the primes are betrayed and murdered by sentinel, the war is lost and everyone who knows and cared for the truth is either banished or outright killed in order to suppress it.
and the high guard, the ones the primes trusted the most, the ones that were supposed to protect them, the ones who failed in their most important duty, have to make a choice. to take the last prime, their last hope, with them to the surface, a hostile environment where there's little to no supplies and where they'll be hunted down by both sentinel and the quintessons as the biggest threat to their regimen.
or hide him in plain sight. place him where sentinel won't think to look for him. one more sparkling among many. and hope it will be enough to keep him alive. pray to primus that he'll protect his last child long enough for them to come back for him when it's safer (even if most of them have already lost their faith on him when he allowed the rest of his children to be massacred like that)
they almost lose their resolve when they realize they will have to take the little one's cog away in order to make him blend in with the rest of the newborns (and oh do they burn with murderous intent when they see what sentinel has done to their people but it's not the time yet-) but in the end they decide an impaired little prime is better than a dead one.
and so in the chaos of thirteen dead primes and a sudden energon crisis, a little sparkling who very few mechs really knew about and even fewer had seen completely vanishes. and in the depths of iacon a mech in charge of a new batch of newborns scratches their helm in confusion as they realize they must have miscounted the first time.
optimus prime is quietly erased from any official records by sentinel, written off as dead when they find a sparkling's frame mangled beyond recognition after an attack on the base of those rebels that insist on being a thorn on his side. killing the sparkling hadn't been precisely in his plans, he probably could've found some use for it after all, but he's not particularly upset about it either.
and orion pax grows up with an ache on his spark that tells him he's missing something far more important than a t-cog and dreams of gentle and loving hands, cradling him against the frames of mechs he cannot recall the faces of.
#i talk a lot <3#transformers#transformers one#optimus prime#orion pax#baby prime orion au#this is mostly an excuse for me to draw the primes and baby OP later on. just to be clear.#i WILL be drawing this at some point lmao#tbh i'm a little uncertain how i want things to progress#because on one hand it would be very tasty and tense if sentinel recognized optimus during the race#but that means a lot of changes very early on in the plot and i would have to do a lot of Thinking on how to justify getting the gang#to still pick up bee and elita. cause i love them <3#i do think it'd be very funny if the high guard's plan worked like a charm except for the very tiny fact that they didn't count#on orion being an absolute hellion. like. this kid is Not Going Unnoticed and it's completely his own fault lmao#in this version maybe a member of the high guard stayed behind to keep an eye on orion and is able to get them out before they're killed#but instead of taking them to where the primes fell they take them directly to the high guard#which is very awkward because it's a very moving and emotional moment for the high guard who are finally reunited with their little prime#all grown up and healthy and blessedly *alive*. except orion doesn't fucking remember any of them and is very confused as to why#the legendary warriors of cybertron are getting all weepy over him. they finally explain the truth to him which is a Fucking Bomb#to drop on anyone but especially a group of kids who almost got killed by the person they all thought the world of just hours ago#they also return orion's t-cog to him which would create some tension between him and the rest of the gang because this time#he's the only one getting his cog back. add to it that they were just told he's the equivalent of a demi-god and... well.#there's a gap between him and them that wasn't there before#on the other version of events that follows canon more closely everything goes the same up until the gang finds the primes in the cave#and wake up alpha trion who now not only has to deal with the fact the rest of his siblings are dead but that he missed fifty cycles#of his baby brother's life. that the only sibling he has left does not remember him or his true identity at all.#he has to choose between telling him the truth which has the risk of unbalancing him in a critical moment where he cannot afford to#be distracted because they're being hunted down. or let him remain unaware. let him forget their family and the love they had for him#but letting him remain free of the knowledge of what he lost and the heartbreak it would bring.
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Not that I don’t love when Bruce’s kids outperform him and give him heart attacks, but I think it’s funnier when the kids think they are better fighters/spies/infiltrators/etc. then him but he’s just so proud so he lets them think that they are.
I think that Babs would be a really good hacker, the best in the family, but Tim, who thinks that he is the next best(and is still scarily good) has no idea that Bruce only let him think that he broke his record of hacking into secret organizations.
Dick is amazing at acrobatics, and centers his fighting style around it much more. He even won gold in the Olympics for gymnastics! Bruce doesn’t want to tell him that he trained under several gymnasts, contortionists, even ballerinas!!! and has the acrobatic fighting style mastered, so he (within reason) let’s his kid win on most occasions, he doesn’t need to fake loosing on trapeze though(I am still giving the kids SOME things they are better at…)
Cass knows that nobody can lie to her, she can spot everyone’s tells and knows most people better then they know themselves. Bruce is, however, extremely paranoid and also has a kryptonian he works with regularly. He lies so well that he can convince himself he’s telling the truth(which is literally the point in case of advanced lie detectors), and so what if he lets some of his tells be more obvious around his baby, he’s so proud of her for picking up such small things! And while Bruce is AMAZING at reading people, he can’t beat Cass, it is however much closer matched then the others think.
Let’s be honest, Bruce is banned from the kitchen and isn’t good at cooking… or so everyone thinks. While he’s not as good as Alfred or even Jason he could whip up something Gordon Ramsey would be proud of if he actually tried to.
Damian in the best fighter with swords, this is undisputed. Bruce just hopes none of his kids find his crate of custom katanas in the attic, if they do then he’ll say they are for Damian.
Tim is an amazing investigator, so good in fact, that Bruce has trusted him on his hardest cases. Everyone assumes this is because Tim is a better detective then Bruce, but he just loves seeing how proud his kid gets when he gets a breakthrough.
Batman doesn’t kill, Red hood does, everyone in their right minds knows that’s a lie. Before Robin came along, leaders of drug operations or terrorists would disappear into the night, never to be seen again. The only people who don’t seem to know this are the Bats children themselves. Sometimes you can still hear a cut off scream in the dark before the news announces a missing person that everyone just knew was doing something horrible, criminals are more wary on nights that the Bats brood are in. And people running trafficking rings pray that it’s the Hood when a knock sounds, the bat doesn’t give those people the mercy of death.
All of the bat kids know more languages then Bruce, and they keep learning more to throw him off, for a family of detectives they really should have thought about the fact that Bruce traveled the entire world, he knows ancient languages and the words that world in other galaxies use, if he could speak Martian then he would have learned it by now, he still does know that part that he’s able to learn.
Idk I just need more of Bruce being skilled at SO many things while his kids are like “oh yeah Bruce? He’s good but I could defeat him easily” and Bruce just so proud of his babies when they do ANYTHING.
Bonus:
Tim made a plan to neutralize Superman at some point, it wasn’t as good as Bruce’s but he replaced it so fast. When he later uses it to take down mind controlled or something Supes Red Robin is watching.
Nobody notices that Batman whispers something to Superman before he goes deathly pale and acts like the plan is working so well he immediately gets defeated. As for what Batman said to him? It was basically ‘Clark(they aren’t supposed to know identities here btw) my kid made this plan and I swear to every mortal and immortal force that if you don’t take the fall right now you will regret it for the rest of your life” and Batman was usually scary but this was like, God will cower before him terrifying and it scared evil Superman so much he went along with it.
Res Robin was smiling so brightly that later Clark honestly couldn’t be mad at the Bat.
Edit: I forgot to add this but unbeknownst to EVERYONE (including Alfred somehow) Bruce can and will stay awake longer then Tim and his drinks are somehow worse in terms of caffeination. The difference is that on the fourteenth day with no sleep everyone thinks it’s only been three even though he is Vividly hallucinating. The ability to hide his lack of sleep for the first week and a half leads them to believe he’s actually the worst at staying up since on what they think is his fourth day of no sleep (it’s his seventeenth) he’s talking to an apparently very vivid hallucination of Alfred the Cat in a suit and a Tiger named Tawny(he had met the tiger earlier that week) and having a civilized conversation with them
#Batman#Bruce Wayne is a good father#Good dad Bruce Wayne#Good dad Batman#It’s like how baby animals will ‘defeat’ their parents in play fights#Or how when a toddler says ‘boo’ when you walk around the corner you act like they almost sent your soul out of your body#I’ll give the bat kids prompts for being really good at stuff#But Bruce spent like ten years of his life in rigorous around the world training#He ended up in jail at some point#Also yes I did imply that the Bat tortured traffickers#Why did Hood not know this#Writhing five seconds of his return Bruce realized it was a very angy Jason and went#I’ll let him take his time and sort this out :D#I’m such a good father :DDD#No Alfred doesn’t know#He does know there’s SOMETHING up but isn’t sure what#Jason kills a child trafficker and though Bruce scolds him the entire time he’s going#Awww my babies first trafficker takedown I’m so proud of him#Cass can tell he’s not telling the full truth and it drives her up a wall trying to figure out why she can’t tell what he’s hiding#Batfam#Batfamily#Red Robin was all “here Bruce I tried to make a plan for if Superman goes evil but it’s not as good as yours :(((“#And Bruce immediately goes “This one is much better good job”#He gives him a pat on the head#and is sobbing inside#dc#Dad Bruce Wayne#Dad Batman#My rambles#Jewels’ Random Thoughts
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This game was made with crack in it
#I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A PRODUCTIVE HUMAN BEING DURING WINTER BREAK NOT SPEND A WEEK PLAYING A VIDEO GAME NONSTOP#I’m almost done with it..#I’m just grinding everything before going past the point of no return#I fully blame my mutuals for how ill I’ve become over this game#nine Sols#nine Sols yi#art#my art#doodle
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just love how we still have absolutely no details about how evanuris killed mythal :) the mother of all, elgar'nan's wife, a mother of 3 possibly 5 other gods (who probably killed their own mother hello??), "the voice of reason"
remember that? remember "they killed mythal... a crime for which an eternity of torment is the only fitting punishment"
yeah. love it)))
#what exactly made them kill her? how? when???#no details about how ancient elves actually reacted to the death of one of their oldest and respected gods#i always assumed that mythal's death was solas' “last straw” so to speak#like the last thing that made him so infuriated so desperate that it was obviously a point of no return#so he began an open war and created the veil almost immediately after#veilguard critical#dragon age#dav#datv critical#mythal#which could've explain why dalish knew nothing about it and her death wasn't in any way referenced in legends/poems/frescos/etc#elves basically had no time to do it#they had no idea what was going on anymore#like they weren't even sure if mythal actually died or it was just a rumor before shit went down#but nahhh))))#let's talk about coffee and naps and food and docktown and#we could've explore what elgarnan thinks about killing his wife we could've explore what her CHILDREN think about killing their own mother#are they even her children anymore???#like dav DESPERATELY wants to make this soap opera with evanuris work but ignores something that important
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Due to scheduling conflicts we're celebrating Tintin Day early this month! 🥳
Someone said in tags that they could totally see Tintin needing International Rescuing at some point. What better way for the Hood to put iR's integrity on the line than revealing all to a world-famous reporter? Would the Tracys jeopardise their whole operation to save just one life?!
(Un)fortunately Tintin hasn't shown up at work since 1929, so the only sacrifice here will be an old man's dignity. Again. 🪦
#the adventures of tintin#tintin#thunderbirds are go#thunderbirds#scott tracy#the hood#josie's art#obviously the answer is yes they would; and tintin wouldn't out them anyway#he's a good noodle and only hashtag-EXPOSES those who deserve it#but how is the hood to know that? he stole photos of the thunderbirds and scott and virgil nearly killed him#a last resort by refusing to give up the chase but even so. AND the whole ned cook thing#it's so funny to me that ToS scott LOSES IT at the sound of a camera shutter; RIP whoever takes their family photos#it's why john stays in space; scott's kneejerk reaction of socking him in the face when he tries to take a nice polaroid :/#almost as funny as tintin not having shown up to the office for a century but somehow maintaining his job#i'm sure his newspaper just keeps him employed for the clout at this point lmaoooo#anyway i'll stop with the tags but i firmly headcanon the boys calling hood out in WILD ways whenever they cross paths#their dad will NEVER date him; kayo will NEVER return his calls and if he even LOOKS at alan he's a predator!!!!#eventually he'll leave them alone because it's just too humiliating :V
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I'm genuinely concerned that iwtv (tv) spells out EXACTLY how Louis is unreliable in his narration, but people spin this into what they think unreliable narration more generally means to them, and not what it means to this narrative. Just to be clear here are the ways Louis IS unreliable (If I happened to have missed something feel free to add):
Louis shows signs of forgetting which are normal in people who've endured long term traumatic events. Any relevant pieces of information forgotten are however righted, and sought to be righted.
Like anyone recounting a personal narrative, Louis states how things occurred from this limited perspective and worldview of the personal. He has a personal idea of himself he'd like to get across, much like anyone. He is not omnipotent. But while most might be fine if the person receiving this story interprets their experiences differently, offering to wider perspective, Louis is often very particular about the ways it must be described fitting how he can already perceive it. Which makes for times of there being a rigid perception of events, where broader narrative introspection could've offered a more truthful telling. Though sometimes this actually keeps it more truthful. This character flaw, if you will, is what Daniel is around to challenge, and he's very successful at it, even when his challenging can push in the wrong directions and draw up the wrong conclusions. Bringing up latent memories, and digging out hard truths Louis has long not admitted. At least hitting on something real, in any case. Meaning, for us, the audience, we are still in relatively reliable hands even with this in play, and so are not actually that off from truth when it is being told by Louis, who is intentionally seeking to tell it, even get it. Merely, our narrative is being, in ways, restricted as to how much is being told, and, outside Louis control, obfuscated in its reliance deliberately. (which we'll return to).
To jump off from this, Louis does withhold. He can sometimes tell Daniel something then never explain or have an answer for it he's willing to say. But we see this most apparently in how the diaries exclude certain events. That he doesn't detail much of his time with Armand, especially sexually, is a more subtle way of this. He withholds narratively to protect others, and respect them and their histories from being exploited. Though in other instances he withholds moreso to protect himself from this, and the image he wishes to present to Daniel and thus the world. One could see the act of presenting he and Armand's relationship as, firstly one where Armand is his servant Rashid, but then one of far more affection than it really holds, at this point in time, as withholding the truth as well. One could go a step further and say he does this to preserve a sense of agency and control over his inner and personal life, not just over the interview, but over this relationship as a whole. In a sense, Louis editorializes because the reality of things is beyond what feels his right to tell, and otherwise be endangering to his sense of self to tell. Louis usage of language is another way he keeps a sense of agency, as he can still pick the words he chooses to describe his life, even if his life has been largely out of his control. He can't in ways tell the full truth without giving up something he's simply unwilling to give.
Related to this, how he defends things, or is defensive of things, portrays a distorted idea of reality, but an honest portrayal of his own perspective on it. Most starkly I'd say is his claim to consider himself not abused.
His complicated feelings, especially about loved ones, give rise contradictory statements about people and events. Where he can claim one thing, and likely claim it from his personal feelings about it, but we are then shown events where this claim doesn't exactly live up to itself in every way, in his or others actions.
However, the main way Louis narrative becomes unreliable is through the lies and distortions manufactured into it and the ways in which the interview is undermined by conflicts of interest in it. Louis story is in fact one containing lies, and active distortions of events/thoughts, beyond normal forgetting, because of Armand's conflict in letting the truth be told. Mind though, that by the end of the story, much like [1] these we can presume have all been corrected for. Or at the very least who this information truly pertains to, Louis, is shown to have no interest in questioning that it hasn't been. What is relevant to have been the full truth has all been said.
There's a bit of a cultural thing influencing the interview. By this I mean Louis and Armand together had created a culture of politeness and respect, which discouraged and fought down getting at the heat of conflict, or emotional and mental vulnerability. Setting aside differences. Leaving things unaddressed, or burying issues, making up quickly, and in incomplete ways, as a means of maintaining a peaceful environment, leads to a level of transactionally met falsehood of how either is portraying themselves, especially in relation to one another, playing into what seems beneficial to them, more than what would be confrontational of the truth between them. Armand offends far more aggressively in this, and one can only guess this comes more from a rearing much more solidified in this kind of culture where there is a multitude of rules around maintaining a facade of 'nice' behavior for a presumed benefit of the group. Whereas, even if Louis follows this in some ways, he is more often seen to push against this, actually. (see; 'acting out')
There was a period (post 2x05 especially) where he makes claims about Armand, with no real way to back them, but for the purpose of continually marking Armand as a traitor. So, making purely emotional claims as opposed to knowing he's getting the facts straight. Discrediting Armand, even if he might be telling the truth. (debatable, of course, but I feel the need to include it anyhow).
The only real thing left of Louis unreliability in our conclusion is some residual effects of his doing where things are then left unanswered, and the information to be found in other peoples perspectives, which Louis isn't held responsible to be knowing about. So it's highly doubtful these are to where Louis is ever to be discredited on his telling of things, more that he just simply can't account for everything without betraying himself, and can't be held responsible to what he simply can not have known, or others controlling his narrative either.
To summarize what this all then means is that Louis is not telling any sort of story, at any point along it, worth discrediting, let alone fully, and wherever he was swaying in that direction, past or presently, it has been corrected for, or at least questioned, to where we can draw all the reliable conclusions on it through inference and sound interpretation. Making what we are left with by the end of season 2 the most reliable version of events of Louis personal perspective, even if quite a good sum of it is still left to this inference. It is because of what is left to inference, and what is something outside the realm of his personal perspective, that makes us the more unreliable sources of determining these events. WE are more likely to be distorting it by this point in the story, than Louis is shown to be. Our judgments, can do more impeding on what ends up being Louis honest account, than Louis ever was.
What Louis unreliability is not, is ever entirely dishonest - is ever one making up events, or turning them into something they were not. Everything we are told is a personal account of things that actually happened. It's certainly not one where, by the end, you can point at anything, and claim there's an irreparable falsehood about it. Perspective on events change, but that they had happened and in a sequential way, does not. One might not like or be satisfied with his point of view, yet this changes nothing. Memory is a monster, but Louis', a monster himself, is still real. These are his true memories as he is remembering them.
Beyond that, the more imperative story told here is the emotional one. On this journey of truth telling, Louis is also relieved of being unreliable about his emotions, and in the conclusion, he's living shamelessly for who he is, past and presently. This opens new doors for his character to exist beyond memory. The interview was a journey of self acceptance, and one's fight for having and reclaiming a self. The true take away, frankly, is that Louis got this, and nothing we can infer and interpret otherwise about his truth, where it is left open, can take this away from him.
I guess this is all to say Louis 'unreliable narration' is actually something he works through, perhaps in its realistic entirely (we are always a little unreliable). It's something that gets righted as a major part of the resolved conflicts that happen over the course of the interviews events, as so we, like Louis, are also resolved of this unreliability if we hold it to that same level of being the truth. And that is also if we are inferring and interpreting things left open properly, which is hard to say, even for Louis. That is where all of that 'unreliability' rests on is the things left open to question still, or gain new perspective on, and not that any one part of what we were presented with is falsely constructed. As we have actually gotten it reconstructed out of that.
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#amc iwtv#long post#also one where I feel I just reiterate the same thing over and over#made this like on a whim so excuse that#Again feel open to add#putting this in the tags because I spell it out clearly as being for something else (agency) but Louis-#does NOT present himself like he does for the purpose of making himself look better. Or whenever he could be (hard to tell intentions) -#it seems to be for this agency I meantioned. Besides I think it's clear he doesn't really hide his faults deliberately#and when brought to his attention in the interview he does accept them as such almost to a fault#this also plays into whatever this one post was saying (which has always been my thought too) -#that as far as Armand goes he is actually being mostly truthful or we would simply have to say Louis conflict is not actually resolved here#Not just with the events of Paris which Armand is telling but with events after and during the interview deciding they are all false leads#to less of any conclusion actually.#Which would be fine if we were ever likely to return to any of it but I doubt it.#Lestat could confirm things are false or we have to accept what Armand was saying on events is true#which I think if it WAS this is particularly interesting for a variety of reasons
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Rewatching the Umbrella Academy has me thinking once more about Five being just Five. All the others have normal civilian names, chosen by Grace supposedly, except for him. That leaves two slightly hilarious options.
Five was asked about a name prior to hopping forward in time and was like 'nah I like being a number' and blinked away or the more plausible option that
The names were chosen after Five left
Which leads me to this idea that each of the Umbrellas had given thought over the years to a name for their lost, wayward brother.
Luthor: Guy. Am I the only one seeing Luthor crying because Five had been the Boy within their team and then never got to grow up but if he did he'd be a Guy. It feels like him to equate Five's alias to his name.
Diego: Diego would come up with nerdy, annoying names for a nerdy, annoying brother. He'd think to himself that Albert would fit him and Diego would call him Albrat when he was being a prick. If he were still around that is.
Allison: Allison would be flipping through the baby book when pregnant with Claire looking for names with meanings like Lost or Traveler or Beloved Son coming up with names like Wendell or Calian.
Klaus: Klaus would absolutely refuse to mentally settle on a name. He's gone through a million of them from Mario to Klaus Jr to Off Brand Peanut Butter Cup to Jeff. It's easier to play around with different names than to think about how Five isn't around to choose.
Ben: He seems like the kind of dude who never really formed any other names for Five. Like Five is Five? He listened to Klaus's ideas from silly to serious and Ben was never able to take them seriously.
Viktor: He'd given it some thought during childhood but never really thought about it seriously until Five returned. Though unmentioned, some of the ideas that Viktor had tosses around - before and after Five's return - were some suggestions Five would have approved of.
#the umbrella academy#its funny the points you fixate on even YEARS between watches#I'm just as weirdly fascinated by Fives lack of civilian name now as I was when TUA first came out#Its something... almost dehumanizing in a way he never really grew outside of the role he was literally born into#I can imagine as the other siblings grew up and thought on Five they'd come up with names#this idea that your brother left before he had a chance to be a person not a number..... only for him to return and now he's barely a perso#its silly what they'd come up with#but damn something about that motif gets me
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Unexpected Reunion (Part 1)
part 1 | part 2 - click the images for better quality
First post of 2025 and it's Old Woman Yuri, as robo-god intended.
#yes this is canon to The Crawling Chaos because I'm making like seraphont and shotgun-blasting bits of the story everywhere#eventually I'll have to make some kind of directory masterpost for this nonsense#side note: I've scientifically determined that the more time I spend trying to perfect an art piece the worse it becomes in my eyes#like some kind of horrible cursed version of diminishing returns. negative returns#evidence: I spent almost an entire week trying to refine a piece about some of my murder drones ocs and it looks like hot garbage#meanwhile I slammed this out in basically a day and I love it#could it be better? yes. do I care? no I do not.#at some point you have to just say “screw it I'm done here” and move on#murder drones#murder drones fanart#murder drones fan project#murder drones: the crawling chaos#nori doorman#nori murder drones#nori md#yeva murder drones#yeva md#solverlilies#old woman yuri#nori x yeva#artists on tumblr
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Caughtcha, gotcha, not letting go ♥ (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Firebland#Silverstreakshipping#Kabu#Larry#The Stanley Parable#Stanley#Silly little leftovers between bigger ideas - it's interesting how most of my ideas for them are comic-style :0#Interaction scripts moreso than just Cute Lads as is my wont haha - though they are also cute#Practice doodles to keep sharp!#And hey they both get their own singular focus and two together! Doubly double nice haha#I think about ''Would you still love me if I was a worm'' perhaps an inordinate amount.... I genuinely really like it haha#Yes it's silly but I'm very moved by it all the same! That one post of love and care really really spoke to me#Of keeping someone you love safe and protected and fed and healthy ''even if'' they had nothing could provide in return#Very similar to the Came Back Wrong post - I love you because You Are not because of what you can Do For Me#Very sappy! Of course I like it! I will turn it silly though hehe I love both!#And also the pun of Wurmple hehehe ♪ To think I almost went with Caterpie or Kakuna! My Gen1 love is too strong smh#Poor Larry haha Kabu quick to reassure! Loves you! ♥#Some Stanley!! I have a few more Guys Who Are Dudes in the barrel to meet up with Larry at some point haha#Stanley had to be first tho - I tagged a meme with Larry as being Stanleycore! Normal but Weird about it#Stanley is Not normal for the record lol but he Is an Office Man so he counts#Hey Stanley why don't you wear a tie to work huh#Floof lads <3 Obviously! Kabu's much easier to draw floofed out lol but that's just 'cause floof is fun and easy to draw#Larry is actually much harder to draw floofed lol - how do his grey streaks fall! Absolute mayhem! Cute nonetheless haha#And ending out with huggles and snuggles and cuddles <3 That pose is much much fun to draw :D#Surrounded but not trapped! Larry's legs pressing in on Kabu's but not forcing him closed and Kabu's hands on Larry's#Hold him there hold him there both sides all the ways around#Larry's really leaned down onto his shoulder if their heads are at matching heights haha#I'm quite pleased ♪ Their faces turned out cute and the pose turned out nice :) S'pretty! :D
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"Time goes by and I remain motionless"
ohhhh..h. having hokma feelings. yea also experimenting with drawing lines over the same color layer. fun thing
#lobotomy corporation#library of ruina#benjamin lobcorp#hokma#theres no popular tag? but this hokma is from LoR#its honestly ironic how his hair returned to messy ben style albeit a bit different#also uhh i found time and mental strength to figure out the whole plot of lobcorp just NOW#i only knew some major points since i began with limbus company#and ohh boy. what a ride. gave me a LOT more willpower to try out LoR#moroderdraws#once again almost forgot my own art tag#too busy talking abt old men#project moon
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When I have the time for my mind to wander currently I keep coming back to thinking about Viktor the first few weeks after Naph is born.
I think Viktor is the kind to dissociate after birth. His body was pushed a bit to its limits getting him and the baby through the pregnancy and even though the birth itself goes relatively smoothly (whether it ends up being a c-section or not) it marks the end of 9 months of additional discomfort and fatigure and generally not having a good time (and is, you know, still childbirth). So Viktor kind of mentally checks out a bit as he recovers and Jayce really steps up looking after Naph while he does.
And while Jayce definitively has no problems with that being what's happening Viktor still probably feels guilty about it. Especially in the Zaun Family verse because Silco had horrendous deliveries and yet immediately was a very attentive parent. So attentive that Vander would struggle to get to get time with his baby the first couple of weeks. Viktor knows despite the pain and shock Silco was in from their births he was still feeding them every two hours, getting up to get them if they cried, and dealing with their older siblings as well.
Meanwhile Viktor winces when Naph cries even though Jayce is the one jumping up to go get their son and settle him again, watches Jayce feed and change Naph and pace around the room while Viktor remains in bed still struggling to make it to the bathroom, has to have his baby brought to him if he wants to hold him. And it's not even like he had that difficult of a delivery.
Jayce is being so patient about it as well. Taking the lead with looking after Naph without any complaint. Being so attentive to Viktor and his recovery as well despite Viktor being a bit tense and frosty. And while Viktor is very grateful for it he also feels guilty that it's all resting on Jayce's shoulders - they're meant to be partners in all things and right now Jayce is doing all the work.
The guilt fades as he does recovery and feel more like himself again and more able to help with Naph's care as a result. But those early days are rough on him emotionally.
#Arcane#Zaun Family#Arcane mpreg#mpreg#Jayvik#Jayce Talis#Viktor Arcane#Silco Arcane#Ramblings of the Goddess#Silco's behaviour is also very much a trauma response#His is just more post-natal anxiety#while Viktor's more post-natal depression#and logically Viktor probably knows that#just as he logically knows that he's been doing#all the work growing the baby to this point#Jayce taking the first few weeks is almost fair return#but it's not logical in that moment#just the haze of pain and dissociation#and feeling like he should be able to power through it#because he's good at powering through it
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For reasons to be expanded upon at a later date (because I love the little bits about Boothill and possible paranoia/betrayal canon gives us so very dearly HNGH) I think Boothill like... He won't let himself fall into disrepair or anything of course, but he reeeeeeeeeeally does not like letting other people poke around at his body. It's a necessary evil to him. He does whatever maintenance and repairs he can himself. He started out with a massive knowledge deficit, simply because he didn't really have any exposure to that kind of technology until he left Aeragan-Epharshal, but he's taught himself a lot since then, he worked really hard at it!
Anyway, the point being, Boothill generally isn't super trusting of people.
But I think he would come to make an exception for Himeko, since he trusts Dan Heng a lot, and Himeko is one of Dan Heng's once-in-a-lifetime dearly beloved companions.
Himeko is so unflappable, I don't think she would even bat an eye about anything he throws at her, either. Like she enters the Parlor Car one morning (she's always the first one up) and Boothill is already there, waiting for her.
"Mornin', Madam Navigator."
"Good morning, Mr. Boothill."
And despite the fact that he blatantly broke into the Express (Pom-Pom is NOT happy about this JDKSAJDSKL), Boothill tips his hat, greets her politely, and is nothing but respectful when he says he has a favor to ask of her. Except it won't stay a favor long, of course- he has every intention of paying it back.
Himeko never agrees to things blindly, but she does bring up that all the knowledge Boothill contributed during the Charmony Festival was essential to preventing the universe from being pulled into Ena's Dream. And they were able to hold onto the Jade Abacus because Boothill used Tiernan's burial relic to summon the Galaxy Rangers instead. The Astral Express owes him a debt of gratitude, and besides, he's a friend of Dan Heng's. Of course she'll try to help him.
Boothill fidgets a bit, quickly brushes off the thanks, and tells Himeko he's having a problem with error codes. He keeps getting the same one, seemingly at random times, but the darn thing has no obvious cause. Dan Heng mentioned Himeko had been the one to rebuild the Astral Express. He knows it ain't the same, but it's not like he's askin' for any major repairs or nothin'. He was wonderin' if she could just take a look, maybe offer him some insight, since she seems to be somethin' of a mechanical wonder.
So Himeko walks him back to a another car, where she goes to tinker with machines without them crowding her bedroom. It's all neatly laid out and organized, and it only takes a second for Himeko to locate some specific device with a long cord. Instead of plugging it in herself, she holds the end of it out to him, like an offer rather than a demand, and Boothill visibly relaxes a bit. He still eyes it just a little warily for a second, but he accepts and plugs it into the port on his side.
Himeko pulls up the list of all recent errors, and they really are all the same. Boothill has had multiple temperature alarms over the past couple of weeks since the Charmony Festival, and they know it's not the environment, because Penacony is mostly dreamscape and kept mild year-round. The long-forgotten natural deserts are too far away.
Boothill is staring from the corner of his one good eye, so Himeko turns the hologram to let him see what she's doing easier. They don't appear to be false alarms. His internal temperature spikes and then slowly lowers again, high enough that if it lasted it would eventually cause damage.
One option is for her to start rooting through personal data, figuring out what he was doing at the time of each code, and tracing cause and correlation.
Instead, Himeko reads out the timestamps, and asks Boothill if he minds sharing what was happening around him when it occured.
Two weeks ago: He and Dan Heng went to explore Dreamflux Reef and found a bar- nice place, good atmosphere. Woman runnin’ it was a doll. Boothill left fer not even two minutes to get them drinks (Dan Heng knows like nothin’ about liquor, Madam Navigator, can you believe this guy) and when he came back, someone had already stolen his seat and was hittin’ on Dan Heng! Dan Heng didn't even care, just shooed ‘em off. Boothill laughed and said not to let him get in his way if he wanted to meet someone. Dan Heng looked at him like he'd grown a second head. Why would he want to leave with someone else, when he came here to be with Boothill?
Twelve days ago: While laying low- er, just rustlin’ up some grub- in the Moment of Blue, Boothill passed Dan Heng with March and Caelus playin’ on the beach, buildin’ sandcastles and the like. When he passed by again almost two hours later, they were still out there, with Dan Heng pullin’ March through the water on her inner tube and Caelus hangin’ off the back of it. He swam so fast! You'd think he was part water snake or somethin’. He looked happier ‘n a cat in a sunbeam… He has a nice smile, doesn't he?
Eleven days ago: Boothill was killin’ time in Dreamflux Reef when he turned the corner down a shady alley and saw Dan Heng, surrounded by three men demandin’ “protection money.” None of ‘em stood a chance, they were all on the ground before Boothill even blinked! So cool! Boothill wants to see that spear of his closeup- Anyway, Dan Heng stepped on one of ‘em on his way out, hahaha! Boothill stepped on the same guy a second time as he hurried to catch up.
Eight days ago: Here on the Express, actually. Boothill had mentioned bein’ curious about the archives, and Dan Heng personally invited him.
(“I remember that day, I saw you in the hall.” “Was there any problem with the heating that day?” “No, none. I don't think the temperature has anything to do with these error codes. I have a different theory, keep going.” “If ya say so.”)
Boothill was fascinated by an entry on aeons, and from a single question he asked about Lan, the two of ‘em ended up talkin’ fer hours. About aeons and Paths and Emanators, Acheron and Self-Annihilators, the Sea of Nihility, Tiernan, the Nameless and the Galaxy Rangers, their burial relics and their customs. Dan Heng finally just started writin’ and editin’ the entries in real time, with Boothill pointin’ things out and tellin’ him what to add in. They were at it so late that Boothill ended up sleepin' on a couch in one of the cars.
He'd figured there had to be something to make Dan Heng chatty- he'd caught just a glimpse of it that first night they met, sittin’ at the bar in the Reverie together. He'll have to ask about the archives more often, if it gets him all revved up like that.
One week ago: After that night of energetic discussion, Dan Heng was apparently hyped up, because after he'd downed some of Himeko's coffee (“You had some too, right? What did you think of it?” “It was great, even better'n chewin’ bullets!” "Thank you! That was my newest brew, I can't wait for everyone else to try it.") he actually asked Boothill to go hunting with him. Boothill asked who their target was, and was surprised when Dan Heng pulled out photos that looked like they were from March's camera, of all things, instead of a bounty or wanted poster.
And as he sat there, studying these pictures, Dan Heng explained that he wanted to hunt down these specific memory zone memes to record them into the archives. Planets with so much memoria are a rarity, especially with the Stellaron's activity thrown into the mix, which has surely affected the local “wildlife.” He might not get another opportunity like this for a long time. And Boothill had talked last night about his extensive expertise in tracking and hunting, so he should have plenty to offer here, Dan Heng would like to learn from his experience and see how he does things!
And oh, Madam Navigator, by the time Dan Heng was done speakin', his eyes were practically sparklin'! Just lit up like the sun! Boothill could scarcely believe it! The two of them couldn't even wait another day, they set out that very morning. It had been a long, long while since Boothill had tracked someone- er, somethin’- without the intent to capture or kill. It was…actually really nice. Nostalgic, but in a good way. It might even have been his favorite day on Penacony…so…far…
Boothill trails off as a couple of realizations crash into him. All the temperature alarms he's spoken about thus far- they've all happened in the company of Dan Heng. And now that he's thinking about it, he's pretty sure even the ones he hasn't yet talked about were with him, too. Dan Heng has been responsible for all of his error codes, every. single. one.
The screen in front of Himeko suddenly refreshes to the top of the list, displaying a new notification for the current time. Alert! Core temperature above normal range.
Himeko's knowing smile is sly as a snake.
Wwwwwelp, would ya look at the time, Boothill has some errands to meet, people to run, y’know how it is, he should really get goin'-
“Oh, Mr. Boothill? About that favor.” And Boothill jolts to a stop in the doorway because fudge, he can't just leave without hearing her out. He'd given his word. He has no problem running out on someone he thinks deserves it, but Himeko really had been kind to him to try and help him out. Her voice is just as knowing as her smile, Boothill can't turn around to look at her, or else he knows he won't be able to disguise the sound of his cooling fans kicking on.
“Don't make Dan Heng wait too long, ok~?”
“Y-Yes, ma'am.”
#honkai star rail#henghill#bootheng#Himeko KNOWS abort mission abort!!!#I really love Himeko sorta looking after Boothill the same way she does her crew even if he's not one of them haha. She's so sweet with-#-Dan Heng. She really seems to adore him and wants him to be safe and happy. I think she would be so happy he's found a new friend!#She wants to help this happen!! So get to it Boothill!!!#Was yapping about this fic to Ray and she nearly fucking oneshotted me: 'It's especially funny because we've got a Vidyadhara and a cyborg-#'-they literally have all the time in the world. SHE's the one who wants to be around to see it happen akfbbsbd''#AND JUST. GOD. Himeko knowing that she won't outlive Dan Heng. She's only human. She can't compare to a Vidyadhara lifespan. So she wants-#-to make sure Dan Heng has as many people as possible. She wants to know he'll be taken care of and not be lonely even after she's gone.#Himeko wants to see this important moment in his life happen she wants to be around for it *sobbing*#I'd been wanting to write this for a long time though because for me henghill is all about the little moments. like. they talked so much-#-back and forth in 2.2. they spent so much time together. they get along shockingly well. Dan Heng could have gone almost anywhere to wait-#-for the trailblazer to wake up after defeating Sunday. And instead of anywhere else Dan Heng returned right to Boothill's side. Was still-#-hanging out with him at the Reverie's bar. Still just chattering away. The point is that these two have a strong friendship to build a-#-romance on! They enjoy each other's company! They like spending time together! And I love that! I want to see their mundane nights!!#They'd have such fun dates uweh... They go on a coffee date and miss Himeko's coffee haha#(fun story Boothill's dialogue about Himeko's coffee was originally going to be 'it was uh...an experience. ain't nothin' else like it in-#-the world.' 'thank you!' But then I read Boothill's parlor car dialogue and? it turns out he LOVES Himeko's coffee? go figure ajfldjas)#(afaik he and Dan Heng are literally the only ones. how cute is that haha)#hsr#boothill#himeko#dan heng#hsr boothill#hsr himeko#hsr dan heng#my fics
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seeing your reactions to the murderbot show is helping my haterisms. Appreciate you
I'm glad! My two big critiques of the show are that it sometimes feels plasticky in a way that is difficult to exactly put my finger on but is probably a function of comedy + a light approach to worldbuilding and murderbot feels like a different notaperson, but I like the characters and it's taking me far. I do miss MY murderbot but this murderbot can win my love also, probably.
#press says murderbot#the thing is for me the murderbot books are almost entirely about murderbot feelings#I also care about art and mensah but with mensah it's almost entirely about murderbot and mensah together#i feel like this adaptation lives and dies on whether you can get into the humans but mensahhhhhhh#I really really love her here. she's so. idk the patient wise leader trope is hard to humanize because failure to wield your power well#is not sympathetic or endearing to most people but I really like her and the weight of her many responsibilities slowly crushing her!#gurathin's fucked up adoration and neediness HIT and I think really point at what she is to a lot of people#I think if they nail the murderbot's friendship with her it'll be devastating#however that's me anticipating future returns on crumbs#and murderbot being a different character is less a critique and more how the adaptation cookie crumbles#but I want what I want#perhaps it will feel more like itself as the show develops
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sorry but. charlie has made so many mariana comments lately and (to my knowledge) mariana hasn’t said shit in return and that’s so funny to me. babygirl you’re being so desperate on main and it isn’t even working 😭😭😭
#the clip w roier where he’s like ‘I don’t wanna be desperate BUT can you message him’. the qsmp stream call out. the tweet response.#I’ve seen so many Comments on my dash but NOTHING in return and. sorry that’s FUNNY#it’s almost to the point it’s like. setting off secondhand shit for me?#but I’m p sure that’s more bc of my Own Past Shit + junk BFNDN
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either cause i rarely actually play the game, but i never had a sim mean mug me this much
#bro is not having it#but bro is a cutie patootie#🙂↔️#im afraid after almost 2 years i have finally hit the point of no return
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