#already feels unwanted | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

femmeidiot · 1 month

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#I blocked like two long term mutuals because of that bullshit the other day #And multiple people I recognized as followers #people who had previously been kind to me #it makes me sad but I don't want people following me that like shit talking posts about me that ignore my feelings and in most cases were #biphobic #twisting what I said into suggesting I feel like I belong in spaces I don't #I'm afraid to take up space anywhere is the ironic thing I don't feel like I'm owed space anywhere #but feeling rejected from the space I once I felt comfortable in (space with lesbians) is hurtful #feeling not only like I am unwanted but also that my gender identity and sexuality are not respected but also belittled is painful #I actually feel like I'm going through the stages of grief about this and people can think I'm stupid and dramatic all they want #but the pain I was already feeling about this things was turned into a gaping wound and no one who participated in it gave a shit about tha #even people who I thought were my friends #they didn't care to try to talk to me if they felt hurt by my words and I don't owe them an apology if they can't even express that to me #like I do firmly believe that #but it's incredibly sad to feel like they wouldn't even want to discuss that with me #and one of them was still liking my posts #You don't get to like posts shit talking me and still follow me #we are not friends if that's how you feel about me

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cheatsykoopa98 · 5 months

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how do you cope with being the most annoying human being in the world?

I hate being socially anxious

#vent #sorry I forgot to tag stuff #like #its so weird #I feel so unwanted #I guess I saw a post from someone that triggered some memories #like every time I join a server or a group nobody ever talks to me #even when I post stuff there #but when its other people they always talk to each other #why dont they just kick me out already?#social anxiety #I guess

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thebirdandhersong · 1 year

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I think the problem. the problem is that I have always been afraid of not being invited into the inner circle. and am always wanting to be part of the inner circle. inner circle being the circle of love and companionship and communion. of course being a TCK and a bit of a sheltered homeschooled oddball child has nudged this further along over the years. but I didn't realise how STRONG that desire still burned. to actually be wanted.

#in other words today has been an oddly sad day! discovering that the friends you've made have their own group chats #that are separate from the general group chat (that no one ever talks on) that you aren't a part of is......... i don't know #i KNOW i'm liked by them and i KNOW they love me but do they WANT me around?#like. i know i'm not UNpleasant to have around. i am a good listener and a good conversationalist.#i work very hard at it because it doesn't come naturally to me.#but clearly that's not enough to be added to exclusive group chats! clearly that's not enough to be part of inner core circles #i don't know this just came out of nowhere and i feel as if i've been slapped in the face #sitting at a table where people are talking about the thing someone sent to the group chat #or the photo or quote or reel someone sent to someone else is....... bizarre.#i am trying not to be so hurt by it! i am trying not to take it so personally #it happens. i know it happens. i know it will keep happening. it is just that i thought this was a place where i wouldn't be lonely #and this is the dorm community i've invested so much of my time and energy and love into since last year.#so i think i'm justified in being a little upset!#i'm not crying about it but that's because i'm not about to cry with other people sitting here in the study lounge!#the math is probably really wrong here but i thought that if i poured love in for the sake of pouring love in #somehow somewhere along the line i would also receive love. that i would actually be a part of this community.#anyway that's not going to change how i live here! i committed myself to doing my best this last year #because i don't want anyone to feel left out or unwanted or lonely. i already made the decision #to do everything i can to love the people here.#i'm not trying to toot my horn this is just what i actually want to and have decided to do!#i have birthday cards planned! i have midterm snacks planned!#i've just worked out how i can print christmas and easter cards and stickers!#i'm GOING to love darn it all i'm GOING to pour love in #i think it hurts especially because there's the boy problem going on too #of not being wanted in an area that i DIDN'T expect to be wanted in #and then learning that there is a collective not being wanted in this whole community #it is a Lot and it is very hard and i don't know what to do with it!#i have had this lie (that i'm inherently unloveable and undesirable) in my head since childhood #and i've worked SO HARD to shut that voice up. and it is so so hard to not believe it right now

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posletsvet · 1 year

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"Hold the hand of the god-child,"

they said, "as he falls from the sky."

And Gojo does fall, and when he does, he falls hard.

When the mania wears off, he gets flung down on the ground from the heights of his glorious and gory ascension, violently so. He is thrown headfirst into the consequences of his failure, straight into the thick of it. Mere moments before, he was so high on being alive, so delirious with his own unparalleled power, his consciousness so far above and beyond literally everything else it was almost a struggle to keep track of the present moment. And now there's a dead girl in his arms, the one he has sworn to protect.

No wonder he's seeking somebody's guidance.

And no, not just somebody. He's asking Geto to guide him. He's trusting him to be his moral compass – as he has always tried to be, with all of his lecturing and ideas of righteousness. In this moment, Satoru is relying on Suguru's judgement fully, as he himself is devastated and detached, led astray by his own overloaded mind. He is lost and he believes Suguru to show him a way out, to be his way out.

He is asking Suguru to take him by the hand and lead him through what perhaps is his most vulnerable.

#jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #geto suguru #satosugu #jjk analysis #it's me being mad over them for god knows how many days in a row already #i cannot stress enough how unwell thinking about them makes me feel #in the best way possible #the lyric is from that unwanted animal by the amazing devil!#please listen to them their music is gorgeous!

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siveine · 23 days

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i think im so nervous about finishing my contract because i wont know what to do with myself afterwards. like, sure theyve forgotten about me and nearly abandoned me, and im quite literally being used then thrown away, but after i get my discharge papers im going to be without purpose again and i dont know if i can do it a second time

#i dont want to stay in cause fuuuuuck that #if im gonna be a meat shield for corporate interest i might as well go private sector and get paid out the ass for it #but i know im not wanted in those spaces either simply due to being support crew rather than sf or infantry #forced into being a weapon then being expected to be normal #doesnt help that being transgender on top of that means that Nobody wants me around #im scared that im going to be broken and NHP forever even when ive earned my humanity back #i already feel like i never emotionally matured past high school #cause all ive ever known was being property of religious zealots and property of the government #i think i had a two year gap of being a person but otherwise ive just been trying to survive and it shows #at this point the best i can hope for is to distract myself until i keel over from the abuse ive let my body take #which i guess isnt the absolute worst thing ever #like between working with a carcinogen and spilling jp8 on myself and the malnutrition and heavy metal exposure and multiple deaths lol #theres no way im going to be able to grow old #and its going to be painful and slow the whole way down #a part of me wishes that drone turned me into paste #being the lucky survivor is worse i think #im useless and unwanted and that kinda blows?#trying so hard to cling to life but im tired of surviving. i want to live. but im not allowed to #maybe things will improve once my contract expires and i get to have a real name again #i thought these antidepressants were supposed to make me feel better why arent they working

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leechloach · 4 months

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It really really really hurts when a friend makes plans with me and then cancels last minute. I try to be understanding but it actually does really hurt and affect me... Do not do this if you can help it

#i already feel very unwanted and this shit does not help heeehehe

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blackhardtt · 11 days

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"Did I mention that I have been drinking?" (for rod from morg. give me a reason to have a sloshed morgana uwu)

Alcohol & Drinking Sentences // accepting

Roderick leaned against the bar, his tall frame easily towering over most of the patrons around them. With a roguish grin, he raised an eyebrow at Morgana, swirling his drink in hand, the golden liquid catching the dim light. "Aye, love, I think ye might've mentioned it... once or twice," he teased, his accent thick with mischief. He took a swig of his drink before shooting a quick glance around the tavern, noticing a few eyes lingering on Morgana a bit too long for his liking.

Sliding closer to her, Roderick leaned in with a charming grin, his voice dropping to a playful whisper. "Seems ye've attracted more than just the ale tonight, lass. Lucky for ye, I happen to be an expert at discouraging such attention." He winked, casually resting a hand on the back of her chair as if marking his territory.

Just as one particularly bold admirer started making his way over, Roderick smoothly intercepted, placing his arm across the bar as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "Evenin’, mate," he greeted, his tone friendly but with a subtle edge that promised trouble if pushed. The man hesitated, clearly sizing up Roderick’s impressive stature and the easy confidence he exuded. "Just thought I'd say hi," the admirer said, though his bravado wavered under Roderick’s piercing gaze.

Roderick chuckled, clapping the man on the back with more force than necessary, causing him to stumble slightly. "Aye, well, ye’ve said it. Now, how 'bout ye be off and find a lass more in need of company? This one’s a bit... preoccupied at the moment." His eyes flicked to Morgana with a playful smirk before turning back to the man. Slightly rattled but not wanting to argue with the towering pirate, the man nodded quickly. "Right, right... I'll just... yeah." And with that, he made a swift exit.

Roderick turned back to Morgana, the grin never leaving his face. "Well, that was easy. Suppose my charm’s still workin’ wonders." He took another sip of his drink before offering his glass for a cheers. "To fendin’ off unwelcome guests and makin’ sure the night stays... pleasant." He leaned back, one arm draped casually over the back of her chair, a devilish glint in his eye. "Now, how 'bout another round? Don’t want ye claimin' I'm the sober one, do we?"

#Listen #this was pretty cute to write?#Rod keeping unwanted eyes off morg who clearly isn't in the best state of mind?#ADORBS #he gonna protec #but also get smashed drunk to LOL #answered tag.#withinchains #they make me happy already IDK #I FEEL LIKE THEY GOT A GOOD VIBE #FUNNY VIBE #v. [calling of the seven seas.]

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deityofhearts · 1 year

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this is so funny

#deity dialogue #uhhhh #my basic deal is that like #I think I’m getting better at it I don’t try and befriend people I don’t like unless I have to (irl for work)#but like idk I’m terrified of everyone including (especially) my own friends hating me #I already do feel unwanted in these relationships especially given how past friendships have gone #but like Im doin my best like I genuinely like all the people I talk to #if you’re someone i talk to regularly or whatever I do like you #doesn’t change that I’m afraid you don’t like me #idk #Sandy just said she’s proud of me I’m gonna cry #like idk I use to be like really cheerful and peppy and nice and maybe I still am #but I have a problem with being a people pleaser and wanting to be liked so bad that I do it at my own expense #and I still do that (mostly irl and at work again)#but it’s tiring and it’s killing me and it’s caused me to be in a lot of painful toxic relationships and to also be a toxic person #and so I’m trying not to do that anymore like #idk just look at the funny screenshot #discord

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earl-grey-love · 7 months

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I've developed this bonkers unconcious habit lately where any time I watch/play something and a potential f/o shows up, I abandon it. What's up with that 🤨

#first sign of feelings and I flee 🏃‍♂️#I think I just don't feel like investing in any more f/os atm #Barbs and Mephi already give me everything I want/need #they've got me on lockdown ig #anything else is just an unwanted distraction #ship: anything for you dear #ship: newspaper club #sunny speaks

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moe-broey · 3 months

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Another important thing though...

#is just like how takumi is already loved and cherished and has his own things going on #so much so that he's never excluded or 'chosen over'. when it comes to moe/alfonse/the dynamics there #and VERY MUCH . the same way takumi makes the choice/has the opinion himself 'yeah you guys are insane. LMFAO'#mani is never unwanted.#WELL. huge fucking disclaimers and citations needed BUT. BUT. the biggest thing IS #how eventually alfonse does come to love and care for mani. just in a different way he does w moe #and the takumi comparison is directly in reference to me deciding. it's not that deep actually #takumi again has plenty of connections and his own problems AND. his own feelings about things.#mani is somewhat similar. in the same way i'm using my authority to give it the agency #of. mani doesn't want alfonse to love it the way alfonse loves moe. moe doesn't want alfonse to love mani the way he loves moe.#alfonse understands this. respects this. and his feelings are mutual. he does fundementally have different feelings about them.#anyways again mani is just. a study in SO many things.#also it's extremely fascinating to pick every character's brain here when you factor in lif #for the record i don't think lif even knows mani exists (in. the non-existent way it does.)#i think his moe died before then.#but i'm moreso talking about like. digging into The Character Studies. why moe feels the way it does about lif #why alfonse feels the way it does about mani. and why both alfonse and moe feel the way they do about each other Specifically.#and the core differences between lif and mani. which informs how moe and alfonse feels abt them respectively #THERE'S JUST... A LOT..... GOING ON HERE........#mani tag

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mainfaggot · 3 months

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just cried until I couldn't breathe bc my dad said something a little meanies to me ^_^ yes i am 20 years old haha hahhahhahahahhahahahahahahahahah god should dispose of me asap

#for context he has been just. really dismissive lately which made me explode today....#i tell him smth and he ignores it and continuously insists on whatever hes saying/thinks/believes #i tell him he hurt my feelings and he mocks me etc #so yeah i just keep getting this vibe of being. um. unwanted❤️#doesn't help that my mom and little sister are on a trip together and its just me and my baba god.....#idk im already having a hard time and then my emotionally stunted dad is the only one home at all times like yayyyy #he only believes im struggling when im yelling and crying maniacally lmfao #and even then hes like so fucking bad at communicating it's funny #z.post

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dol-dee · 4 months

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Had to think about how Dee's past again and the fact that she hasn’t spent most of her life in dolville. She actually knows that there’s better places out there. A lot of shit too but nothing like this hellhole.

She desperately wants to get out and leave this joyless vacuum behind. Although, I think secretly, she fears that the town has taken root inside of her. Rotted her from the inside out. Ruined her. She knows the system now, how things operate around here and how to make it work. What if she leaves and she’s unable to acclimate to relative peace and normalcy? She feels a bit as if the world moved on and left her behind

#it hasn’t even been that long but it feels like its the only thing she remembers now is how to survive this place #im really bad with details and figuring this stuff out exactly but the gist of it is that Dee was an unwanted child #she stayed with her father for the longest time until he got tired of her and her inability to live up to his expectations #to keep it short she got kinda pushed around between people until the one person who cared for her died and she ended up in foster care #got pushed around between orphanages as well bc she became a notorious troublemaker #and most orphanages were already at full capacity #she got shoved off the deep into hell at the end #< in Dee’s own words #urhghg ignore the typo #dee the defiant #dol rambles #avery the businessperson

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bo0zey · 2 years

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when gerard way said “when i grow up i want to be nothing at all” i felt those words in my gdamn soul bro