#also FUCK the third hokage

[usasuke]

anyway, I would die for sasuke uchiha, that’s all.

[hwiyoungies]

i’m trying so hard to not live blog every single nar.uto episode but my guys gals and non-binary pals i have so many feelings about this anime

[taiyoooh]

Your madatobi sketches are hilarious af. I also got interested in the Fourth Shinobi War period. So many hilarious crazy moments would gonna happen. It would be very hilarious when the Four Hokages faced Madara and then Tobirama who saw Hashiboob on Madara’s chest, got pissed and was having a lemonade moment because of course he is going to be the third wheel, Tobirama be like “Nope, Nope I’m out! Fuck it Madara we are having a divorce”

madara lived in a cave alone for many years, his ass is broke and can't afford alimony 💀

[mixelation]

also (a)sync

i like the idea of minato just getting INCREDIBLE amounts of leeway wrt tori just because he's 1. incredibly valuable as a ninja, 2. incredibly charismatic and well-liked, and 3. a touch of nepotism from being jiraiya's favorite student. tori HAS killed a few konoha ninja but based on geography i think she's aiming to get to a non fire country coast, so she just runs into fewer of them than other ninja. so konoha is just like: well, we should make note of whatever the fuck this situation is, but the pros of keeping minato happy outweigh the cons

and then he kills a thousand people for her. and konoha is like: oh, fuck

i think this backstory didn't make it into the snippet i posted, but in the original timeline:

Tori was not a very good student of history, but even she knew the story of how the Yellow Flash got his flee on sight order.  She did not know the exact date. She could not remember the names of any of the commanding shinobi involved. But the tale went like this: Iwa had a major camp in Grass Country, where they’d set up a prison. They managed to capture one of the Third Hokage’s sons, and Hiruzen had sent a team to negotiate his release. Publicly, Konoha wanted all prisoners released safely, but Iwa had understood this trade was about the son. At the first round of negotiations, they’d marched out half the prisoners and executed them right in front of the Konoha representative. This had been a “we mean business” message to get more concessions from Konoha, and maybe to humiliate them.  The Konoha representative had gone back to his own camp and written for help. Minato had been in the area and volunteered to go in. He’d snuck in in the dead of night, aiming to grab the prisoners and teleport them away. Iwa had anticipated this; they were waiting for him. A fight had broken out, an entire thousand-person camp of active shinobi versus one guy.  Minato had won.  So, in theory, Tori could just sit tight, and Minato would show up and rescue her.  But also in theory, Tori was the least politically important captive. Some of the prisoners Iwa had killed in front of the Konoha representative weren’t even Konoha. It was extremely likely that her head would be on the chopping block before Minato even realized she was here.  Why am I always this fucked? Tori wondered. It simply wasn’t fair. If she had no ninja friends, she ended up harassed and bullied like any civilian. If she had ninja friends, they were only there to leave her for dead.

so in th original timeline he did the same thing, but it was like a big hero moment for him from Konoha POV. In this timeline, it's a.... it's a "he will go off and do catastrophic things for his girlfriend" moment.

so i think it would be fun to play with, but i'm not sure what direction i want to take it in. like do i want him to be able to recover his konoha PR? does it affect the hokage situation? is konoha suddenly more interested in tori, or do they see this as an entire minato thing? did he just paint a huge target on her?

[soaringpigeonshovel]

While the interpretation of Minato as a bit of a bastard will always be close to my heart, I think if you need a positive reading of him, I'd argue for an orphan who's sensei is a loud and passionate guy and the love of his life is a loud and passionate lady and so he just... never really learnt how to confront the people he cared about. Hell, maybe he never felt secure enough to with his sensei always running off and disappearing, or maybe he was just an even-tempered kind of guy. For most of his life, it's a benefit: he's a Hokage beloved by all.

But it also means that when Kushina wants to have a child with him, he doesn't really know how to say no. And he does want to say no. He just got two of his kids killed and is dealing with the sinking realization that he fucked up the third. He hasn't really even figured out how to grieve yet.

In his head, though, he dated and married Kushina knowing she wanted kids—a family. He doesn't wanna be the guy to then say 'actually I decided i'm not really for kids now! psyche!' so he feels like he can't reject her. (even though Kushina would have understood! if he'd asked!)

So he goes along with it. They have the kid.

But the whole time Minato struggles to see the child as his as opposed to Kushina's child. So when Kushina's fate is sealed and Minato sees the future of trying to raise and definitely fucking up Kushina's child, he crumbles. Then he sees a technically defensible way to die without betraying Kushina. It's his only chance. He grabs it. Hiruzen would definitely be a better guardian for the kids than him, anyway, right? All three Sannin were at least alive. Weird, sure, but alive.

And that's why he feels so... odd? detached? when he's undeadified. He doesn't quite feel like Naruto is his son. And why he barely seems able to look Kakashi and Obito in the eye: how can he, when he's failed every kid he's ever been put in charge of? He cares-he's visibly somber-but again, this is a Negative Situation and confrontation isn't his strong suit. So, even with his brief second chance, he passes on again without ever, in his entire life, really getting upset.

[ilbenmalpensanteus]

I think I cannot hold myself back anymore, so I will say it.

The fact that Sasuke and Naruto decide to marry two stereotypical, canonical, a-characterized girls is not a sign of a necessarily brotherly (merely platonic) bond.

In the medieval Japanese culture, in fact, true love often could be found only between two man (‘cause they are similar creatures and they can understand each other better than man/women couples - yeah, I know, how sexist, but we are talking about the 13th century sooo). It is possible to recognise the same idea in the antique Greece (even if usually the relationship is between teacher and his student - but the concept is, more or less, the same - you can see Platon about it). Marriage is a tool to grant reproduction and connection (Sasuke’s idea about “I want to repopulate the clan”, -yeah, alone and far away from home for 12 fucking years (r’u okay, dude?) Naruto dream of becoming hokage - never at home after:

-Hashirama that went for a walk everyday with his bff

-his brother who spent more time masturbating on proibite jutsu than actually ruling

-the third that, like the first, went for a walk but with Naruto instead

-the fourth: a loveable father and husband that had dinner at home with her wife and cooked as well

-tsunade: alcoholic, gambler, one of the sannins AND medic nin

-kakashi… well, you all know about his addiction for porn

-NARUTO: orphan, love-starved for life, can’t find the force to stay at home, shitty dad ecc ecc in time of peace.

Buuut oookkkkaaaayy?!).

Many aspects of Kishi’s plot and characters are inspired by historical Samurai’ customs and figures (also, the ninja world’ structure described by Kishi is more similiar to Samurai’ than that’s of true ninjas - whose usually are mercenaries and more similiar to bandits than heroes).

ALSO, who knows something, even if only the basics, about literature, can easily read in the entire story the most important iconographic topoi of romance and LOVE.

I will summarize some of them because there are many:

-Romeo and Juliet: “I’m the only one who can bear the full brunt of your hate! It’s my job, no one else’s! I’ll bear the burden of your hatred… And we’ll die together!”. Then, summarising the rest: “in the afterlife I will not be the vessil anymore; you will not be an uchiha ecc ecc”= Capuleti and Montecchi: Juliet and Romeo tried to bear the hatred that their families had for each other; finally only death permits them to love and realise their dream to stay in each other arms.

-in their afterlife (pre-mortem experience) Sasuke and Naruto are found together (no itachi, no parents - only the two of them)

-Achille and Patroclo (I think I won’t speak about that because I could spend VOLUMES)

-the love triangle

-star-watching while whispering the name of smone we love (or desire)

Anyway I have no watched Boruto and I don’t intend to: everything after the second Valley of End is no more than “found raising” (without charity) and politically correct (that of 15 years ago - especially in Eastern Countries). Same thing about The Last and these other craps: BULLSHIT: Naruto, suddenly, DON’T understand love anymore… came on, are u serious man?

PS when I think about chakras of two siblings I cannot not think about soulmates:

- chakra, like soul, have NO gender (and we all know that Naruto and Sasuke are not brother)

-if you insist about they being siblings thanks Indra’ and Asura’ chakras I have to remind you that VERY OFTEN in EVERY MYTHOLOGIES of the world (yeah, in Japan as well) between deities there is no incest concept and ooops Indra and Asura WERE SEMI-DEITIES, so..

I would thank my current occupation as phd student in History and Religion: that has helped a lot to understand the implicit tune of the show/manga

PSS the shit about “clingy Sakura yelp cause sasuke taps her forehead” is, precisely, bullshit: Itachi (sasuke’s real brother) did the same thing to keep away sasuke. When he says “I will always love you” he doesn’t do that, no SIR; also, when sasuke asks Naruto what he really means by “friend”, Naruto, at the very end says “I DON’T FUNCKIN KNOW, but when you hurt I hurt”. He is the one that really understands Sasuke NOT SAKURA

Also, Naruto frees Kurama (8 tails) after Hinata’s (fake) death, okay but, seriously? The seal is merely there at this point, everyone is dead, she tried to help him but cannot do it because is not a real ninja and he got LIVID. I understand that.. than he forget all that she had said

When the kages asks for sasuke elimination, Naruto is not angry, Naruto is broken and has a real panic attack, so… I think there are some difference due the circumstances.

The hints ‘bout canonical ships during the series are, really, unuseful like an ass with no hole.

So, I have to stop here. This is my deposition, your honor.

Sorry if I made mistakes but it’s late here, I’m tired and English is not my native language

[cyb-by-lang]

Uhhh, so, my take on Tailed Beast!Kei & Human!Isobu

[First of all, I don't usually use this site so I wasn't sure where I could like, send this to you so I hope this was the correct decision xd.]

[[Also, this is a work in progress I guess, cuz they're just some ideas that I got while rereading CYB.]]

[[[Also, also, I was racking my brain thinking of a way for Kakashi to possibly fall in love with a non corporeal, chakra-made entity like Kei and the answer was that Kei and Isobu could "exchange control" of Isobu's body like that one scene with The Dreamer.]]]

One last thing, English is not my first language, is spanish, so if some things don't make a lot of sense it could be either my sleep deprived brain or my Spanish rearing its head when I don't want it to.

Kei would be the Three tails, then.

She would probably bicker as much with Kurama as Isobu does in CYB.

While Isobu has amber eyes, when Kei takes control of the body, the eyes change to rings of black on gold.

Isobu and Kei exchange control kinda frequently, since Isobu wants Kei to experience the outside world more and feels apologetic for the Tailed Beasts getting their freedom removed against their will.

Which means Isobu and Kei scare a lot of people in different power echelons.

Since Isobu changes with Kei a lot, they make a system. Kei gets to control de body when (1) Isobu is too tired of other people's bullshit, (2) when he literally throws the control at Kei when he does something arguably against the law, or (3) he gets too hurt in missions and gets unconscious, letting Kei to do damage control of the situations.

Kakashi probably falls in love with Kei in the little moments that she gets the control, obviously after freaking the fuck out the first time.

Since everything is the same, Isobu would be Gēkko Isobu, teammate of Uchiha Obito and Hatake Kakashi, student of the Fourth.

Isobu would give zero fucks about everyone's opinions except those of his family, Kei and later his teammates and Sensei.

His childhood and life in general would be of a normal human being sans the memories of past lives. Kei would be the reincarnated human in Tailed Beast form, but the thing is she's lived all the time in the Three Tails form since the "birth" from the Ten Tails via Sage of the Six Paths. She couldn't change anything because her memories where spotty at best after the reincarnation (there weren't more that vague feelings of random human knowledge and her warped sense of self, where she knew she recognized herself as a female, and that her personality was a little more "human" than the rest of her siblings) (also, what could a Tailed Beast do in human society in order to change the plot?), so she lived the first centuries like a normal Tailed Beast. Only after getting trapped by the First Hokage and handed to whatever nation it was in canon, is that her memories return at full force.

But even after that, the only thing that would change after having a human body the first time around is her desire to change the plot (since she doesn't want to get brainwashed with Yagura by Tobi, and then getting reincorporated in the Ten Tails), the longing for freedom being doubled, and keeping her little human safe.

Meaning, the Tailed Beast side of her personality takes precedence over her human memories.

She's also... Opinionated.

Cuz even if she gets some human things, she also sees everything through a Beast lense.

Also, live commentary on Isobu's head.

They (Isoby&Kei) probably see each other as something like siblings.

The Fourth (or Third, I can't remember the timeline, help) probably prohibited Isobu of letting Kei take control of his body so easily, but eventually desists since, again, he doesn't give a fuck and "really, Sensei, if Kei wanted to level Konoha to bits she would've done that since getting inside my body. She had the courtesy of holding her chakra back when she was getting slapped in my chest and then when the Control Seal was trying to get a hold of our conscious."

At first the exchange wouldn't be possible since the seal was too tight for it, but with some help (and some threats on the line of "if you don't help me, I'm just going to experiment with myself") they manage.

The first couple of times are really short burst of consciousness since the body wouldn't handle the strain of holding a large being such as a Tailed Beast and something something, chakra exhaustion.

Then it gets easy because something something, compatibility.

Kei has the advantage of already have been a human being before, so the first times she got to control the body after a mission gone wrong and Isobu wanted to rest in their shared space, she tries her best to mimic Isobu's behavior and tics, but the eyes and the fact that her chakra was being concealed the entire time she was fronting gave her away pretty quickly.

Isobu then wakes up in a T&I cell lmao.

Then the incident gets resolved and everyone stops freaking the fuck out.

Overprotective of her siblings. If Kei with only Hayate had overbearing tendencies, with other eight siblings it's worse.

She remembers very clearly the way all of them got caught by the Akatsuki, so one of the first conditions on the deal with Isobu on not destroying Konoha the moment she gets control of the body is making sure all her siblings get a decent treatment by their Jinchuuriki and the village they're in.

Um, that's all I have so far. I really enjoyed this fic, and I sometimes still think about it. 

[izvmimi]

In the defense of Sasuke my pretty princess:

Watched his brother kill his parents at the tender age of SEVEN. So beyond fucked, of course he would be damaged after that. Was further manipulated by state-sanctioned propagandist Itachi for years after the ordeal. Itachi DIED lying out of his ass to his brother. Sasuke psychological torment was beyond fucked and not a single person in the naruto universe even tried to prevent his downfall. It can’t possibly be his fault they practically made him this way (as itachi planned)

No one around him except for Naruto even bothered to try and understand him or help him in any way that mattered. You’re telling me the best the village could do by way of therapy and guidance was a depressed 26 year old sensei with a lifetime of baggage? Kakashi couldn’t even help his friends how could he be a mentor? No wonder sasuke fell for the snake oil salesman tactics of orochimaru at least orochimaru got shit done (murder of the third hokage was justified IMO)

The villages and ninja society were fundamentally flawed and he was RIGHT to incite terrorism and demand a new system!! They didn’t seem to care at all about all the deaths of their ninja, Sasuke had no choice but to blow their shit up

Sasuke had to deal with 12 year old girls crushing on him I think any villainy after that was justified for that reason alone. Have u ever met a teenage girl? Insufferable

He is also so pretty so babygirl he’s never wrong ever. He, too, has a great set of tits. Can’t argue with those.

i should just give you full marks for defending sasuke just to begin with clearly if you've chosen sasuke you know what you're talking about

10/10!

[bougiebutchbitch]

Retsuden c’mon. You can’t do this to me.

Nanara realising that Kakashi’s “constant composure was a bluff. He had just been pretending he was fine. The truth was, he was struggling.” And praying that “[Kakashi] hadn’t always lived his life alone... that he had been blessed with amazing friends, and he’d been able to keep fighting all this time because he had people supporting him. [Nanara] wanted that to be true. Otherwise, it was just too painful.”

Then thinking when he inherits the Shuigu: “This tool was, for Nanara, a present from three fathers. The Sage of the Sixth Paths.... His actual father... And the third was, of course...”

:screams into fist: Kakashi really suffers from ‘accidentally adopts every kid he sees’ syndrome to a Batman-esque degree

AND THEN

THE LINE THAT KILLED ME

THAT FUCKING SLAYED ME DEAD????

Nanara says “The Sixth Hokage is the most powerful shinobi! And the greatest leader!”

And then we get...

“That was the only time he’d been happy from the bottom of his chest that he hid his face behind a mask. To think his cheeks could get that hot at a few words from a child he’d only just met.”

NOOOOOO YOU CAN’T DROP THIS AT THE END OF THE BOOK

YOU CAN’T REVEAL THAT KAKASHI ISN’T USUALLY HAPPY TO HIDE BEHIND A MASK, BUT ALSO THAT HE WEARS IT BECAUSE HE BLUSHES AT COMPLIMENTS

THAT’S SO CUTE SHUT UP

[bananaman-mp3]

jiraiya was purposely avoiding the whole orochimaru situation. id just say something like ‘its super irresponsible if your childhood friend turned evil and made plans to destroy yalls town without doing anything abt it, especially if you have enough power to challenge him’ but it was clear from the start what his priorities were. im honestly surprised at how terribly all of the third hokages student turned out, which just makes me wonder, how good is it that hes been in charge of konoha for so long. two of his students ditched responsibility of the village and turned to vices, while one of them got extremely fucked up and started practicing necromancy and vampirism. and is also looking forward to destroying the whole village so thats nice.

i just… i dont know. after seeing him give his life away to protect konoha it feels disingenuous to point out that he probably fucked up somewhere along his teaching, but…. what the hell happened there?

[thebleedingeffect]

I'm... strangely tempted to write something involving dark minato cause like?? I feel like his character is such a cool one with so much of a legacy behind him but in reality? We really don't know all that much about him! We know that he's one of the few shinobi alive that beat Itachi's and Kakashi's scores aka labeling him as the genius of his generation. We know that he's pretty charismatic and an approachable guy with a much warmer character considering the shinobi world. We know that he was the youngest hokage up to then and was widely feared and loved in equal respects.

We know that he has a 'flee on sight' order and it's strongly hinted that his kill count is absolutely fucking ridiculous, making him one is not the most dangerous shinobi to encounter during the third shinobi war. Just... it makes me wonder about the concept of what kind of guy is Minato, such a man that was willing to seal a demon inside his own son, being willing to sacrifice his and his wife's lives for the village, while believing that Hiruzen and the village would love him despite everything. It's so interesting to me!! The contradiction of this man who's so extremely smart, cunning, and willing to do near anything to protect konoha, yet is so blindly accepting to the near encompassing flaws of his ideals cause it means he must come to accept that konoha IS fucked up!!

One comparison that I just thought of is that in the first Itachi shinden book there's an entire plot point that Itachi fundamentally cannot accept and has a hard time grasping the conflict between konoha and the Uchiha clan. Cause logically! He knows how hatred works! He knows how discrimination comes to be as he's seen it and experienced it himself! But even then he's so perceptive and self-analyzing and approaches them from such an objective view that he just has a hard time relating with other people.

That's something I belive Minato also experiences albeit in a different sort of way. I think Minato *believes* in what should be done, because logically Naruto saved the village! The hokage and every shinobi should be willing and ready to die for the village! Minato KNOWS this and accepts it but at the same time fundamentally forgets that people just!! Don't work like that!! Especially hurt people that despite knowing their leader could die- will always resent and hate the object they deem responsible for his death despite him chosing that fate.

That's what makes the idea of dark minato so intriguing to me, the idea of a good man who's covered by a thread of something just being so, so wrong with him, but he's so lovely and good at playing the game that no one even *thinks* about testing him. The idea of a man who's lost so much and has every single one of his ideals tested until he can hold on and possess what he has left. I want that man fucked UP!!! I want that man to take a life into his own hands and decide that no, this life is mine, no one else's. Despite knowing for a fact that he's going against his own responsibilities as hokage in doing so!! Cause he's a man before all else, a man who is desperate, grieving, and needs to hold onto something and never let go.

Anyway here's my sales pitch of dark minato with kakashi-

[mixelation]

reborn au notes 2 self, chunin exam edition

on kushina: i want to write her as a badass, but in light of the recent minato oneshot, i've decided that while she is a badass, she was actively kept from the frontlines of the third shinobi war because oooh ahhh our precious jinchuriki!! so she's not actually like... very well known internationally. so what this means

both itachi and deidara are like "well if she was any good i would have heard of her" and then ideally both of them would have separate "oh god what the fuck what the fuck WHAT THE FUCK" moments because actually she has an OP bloodline limit, is a fuinjutsu master, and has insane chakra/stamina. and this is BEFORE you factor in the fox

iwa denies minato entrance for the chunin exam tournament despite it being traditional to host foreign kage because they're terrified of him planting a hiraishin seal. they're then iffy about letting his wife in with fuinjutsu supplies. but they too are like "well if she were worth knowing about, we'd have heard of her"

on kisame/mangetsu: i forgot i pitched the idea of kisame being there to babysit bby mangestu entering??? i think i'll keep this element. nothing i post on tumblr is "set in stone" but this change probably wouldn't affect the written pieces very much. so the tourament is

First round:

Tori vs Some Chump (opening match -- expected to be underwhelming and supposed to give people time to find their seats -- Tori finishes it in less than 30 seconds)

Itachi vs Kurotsuchi (Itachi wins)

Deidara vs Some Chump (Deidara wins)

Mangetsu vs Some Chump (Mangetsu wins)

Second round:

Tori vs Itachi (Itachi wins but in a complete reversal of her previous match, Tori draws it out)

Mangetsu vs Deidara (Deidara wins but the bloodline limit is ANNOYING)

Final: Itachi vs Deidara (Itachi wins)

i'm not 100% what mangetsu at 13's personality would be, but i like the cracky idea of of him having a weird little crush on tori. mostly because i think it would make both her and kisame like (INTERNAL ALARM BELLS GOING OFF) but also for plot reasons*

tori: idk what to do i've only ever had weirdos be attracted to me???

deidara: only weird-- tori he sneezed too hard and turned into a puddle. he IS a weirdo

*basically i'm toying with the idea of tori going SOBBING to mangetsu that iwa kidnapped her mentor, because kisame will report to kiri that they did this, but mangetsu's more emotional testimony will sell it to kiri. i decided with the piece i just posted that it makes more narrative sense for tori to pull herself together and make moves on a plan rather than waiting for deidara and itachi to solve it for her. so she's like: okay, im confident we can get to her, but how do we prevent a fourth war in the event iwa decides to claim WE attacked first? witness from another village. okay here i go~~

kisame has no personal stakes in doing anything about kushina or their mission so he's not going to physically help with that, but he does consider itachi his ally so he'll happily go and tell the mizukage that he was presented with strong evidence that iwa tried to hold the hokage's wife ransom after she and her team diligently obeyed all their stupid rules....?

on the hiraishin seal that the utano** clan picked up at the very beginning when tori was 4: originally i had the idea she'd use it to take down oto somehow. like she gets her hands on it and chucks it around until minato comes to check it out or something. but instead i decided it's better if she just figures that out on her own. although NOW i'm debating if she leaves the hiraishin seal out in the open in the hopes konoha comes ot check it out and take care of any degs for her. <3 the consequence of this is that she's on minato's radar before they ever meet, but i'm noooot sure i like this

either way i think i'm going to use it to very slowly foreshadow hiraishin!tori. but also maybe. out of spite, and because she spent a lot of time studying one when she was a kid.... she paints a couple hiraishin seals in iwa as payment. as a little treat <3

(this is NOT the most politically savvy move so even if minato privately thought it was funny, i think he's reprimand her. even when she's like "no i ARRANGED for kiri to back us up, they're not going to do anything because they CAN'T." but alternatively maybe she writes a note that she hid one.... can you find it? <3 <3 <3)

**i know i originally wrote it as "uta" but "utano" looks more like a name so i'm changing it lmao

[hotmonkeelove]

Naruto Tag Game (New Addition)

(I did this years ago and my opinions have evolved)

Tagged by: no one, I saw it here.

How far are you in the series?: I never got past Ino-Shika-Cho and Kakashi fighting Hidan and Kakuzu. It was tiresome.

Do you prefer the anime or manga?: I don’t really read the manga, but it’s definitely better as far as Boruto is concerned, since the anime is so bent on making Mitsuki simp for Boruto.

Favorite movie: Road to Ninja

Least Favorite Movie: Of the ones I’ve seen, The Stone of Gellel was kind of dull. Couldn't follow it.

Favorite filler episodes: Most any of the ones with Lee, the Bikochu beetle arc, and Ino Screams: Chubby Paradise!

Least favorite filler episodes: The Land of Tea arc is boring! Though Aoi was cool.

Favorite male character: Orochimaru

Favorite female character: Anko

Second and third favorite male character: Gaara, Mitsuki

Second and third favorite female character: ChoCho, Tenten

Character(s) you Dislike or Hate: Boruto, Danzo, Hiruzen.

Favorite Village(s): Otogakure

Least Favorite Village(s): Konohagakure

Favorite and second favorite clan: Akimichi, Inuzuka

Favorite Sannin: Orochimaru

Least Favorite Sannin: Tsunade, but I actually love them all. I used to hate Jiraiya, but he grew on me. The pervy bastard... Now I'm hot for him! Heeheehee!

Favorite Kage: Gaara

Favorite Hokage: Tsunade

Least favorite Hokage: Kakashi himself said he was the worst, though Hiruzen was an arse.

Favorite Jinchuuriki: Gaara

Favorite tailed beast: Shukaku

Favorite Summoning: Manda

Favorite Jutsu: Orochimaru’s permanent tongue stretching jutsu. So hot and so much potential!

Favorite kekkei genkai: Either Haku’s or Kimimaro’s.

Favorite ability of Pein’s: Almighty pratfall, heehee!

Favorite Jounin or Anbu: Gai

Favorite Filler Character(s): Suzumebachi

Least Favorite Filler Character(s): Those ninja postal carriers. They’re creepy!

Favorite canon couple(s): Choji x Karui

Favorite almost canon couple(s): Orochimaru x Anko, Mitsuki x ChoCho, Zabuza x Haku, Gaara x Matsuri, Neji x Teten.

Worst canon couple: Sakura's parents are pretty lame.

Least favorite fanon couple(s): Boruto x Mitsuki, Anko x anyone other than Orochimaru (though especially Kakashi).

Favorite yaoi couple(s): Zabuza x Haku

Favorite yuri couple(s): Oddly enough, I don’t really ship any yuri pairings from Naruto. Tsunade x Mei is pretty hot, though. And sometimes Sakura x Ino.

Couple(s) that you ship romantically and as friends: Orochimaru and Tsunade

Favorite protagonist: Gaara

Favorite antagonist: Orochimaru, though I consider him the real hero!

Favorite Akatsuki member: Orochimaru!

Favorite Akatsuki couple: Sasuke x Karin, if they count?

Favorite member of Team Taka Hebi: Juugo, though the retcon his character creates really irritates me.

Least Favorite Member of Team Taka Hebi: Sasuke

Favorite member or weapon of the 7 Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist (including Zabuza and Raiga): Zabuza and his kubikiribocho!!!

Which character do you think deserves more appreciation: Anko, the real Anko. Not the ridiculously sanitized version shallow fans have to make her more palatable.

Which character do you think deserves less appreciation: Kakashi, he's way too op.

Which character(s) didn’t deserve to die: Neji, Asuma, Jiraiya.

Someone who should have died or you would not change their death: Gaara’s father. My god, did he have it coming!

Who do you ship Naruto with: Hinata; they’re boring as a married couple, but I imagine they have a secret kinky side.

Who do you ship with Sasuke: Karin, because all the biting is hot. Mmm, hurt me! Also, I like their chemistry.

Which character do you think looks good with everybody: I don’t ship characters because they “look good together.” That’s fucking stupid.

Which character out of Teams 7(don’t forget Sai),8,10, Gai would join the Akatsuki: Um, didn’t Sasuke join?

Hottest female character: Though I think Kurenai’s the prettiest, I’ll go with Mei. I will not say Anko, because that just feels like wanking.

Hottest male character: Orochimaru

Would you eat Ramen: I have. Dango is better.

What would be your ‘ninja way’: To serve a great master.

What is your opinion of the ninja world (like how Jiraiya discusses in his book): It’s cruel and corrupt.

Which character would you have liked to see drunk: Always Lee! More drunk Lee!

What do you think Kakashi’s book Icha Icha really says?: Whatever nasty filth Jiraiya wrote.

Pro-ending or anti-ending: It could’ve been better, but there are some good points.

How would your version of Naruto ending and Boruto play out (don’t be shy, make it VERY LONG, out touch the smallest details):  Orochimaru and Anko reconcile and marry, we get some backstory for Choji and Karui’s love, as well as Lee and Metal’s mom, Log gets more scenes, Mitsuki is the main protagonist, and Boruto gets the shit kicked out of him till he learns to behave. And maybe we could bring Jiraiya back to life…?

Tags: Ugh, do I have to?

[theunrealinsomniac]

no way thats so cool!! what are your own narusaku kids? i would love to know about them if you have any old post introducing them!!

and yes i totally can understand why it makes you uncomfortable, i personally love them and only got to know them very very recently which gave me new reasons to love narusaku lol

You're not alone, quite a few people are very fond of the trio lol.

But to gush about my NS kids lol ... I have four of them.

And I strongly advise you take a perusal through my collection of tumblr fics on Ao3. They appear a bit in those and I've mentioned them in previous tumblr asks recently.

I'll drop a link to the collection lol, and give you which chapters specifically deal with them at the end.

But to give you the basic run down:

Sachi Uzumaki Sachi is the eldest, typically she is pink haired with blue eyes, Naruto's mouth, Sakura's forehead, Naruto's personality with sprinkles of Sakura's and a huge dollop of Sakura's intelligence.

Sachi Uzumaki is *scary*. Sachi Uzumaki is so innately talented at ninjaing that the idea she wouldn't grow up to be a kunoichi, is laughable.

When Naruto starts getting a bit too grey and starts slowing down ... it is Sachi the village elders, who are actually decent people this time, approach about being the one to replace Naruto as Hokage.

And make no mistake, she'd be a spectacular Hokage. Shame none of Naruto's kids want anything to do with the hat.

She's also an absolute sweetheart. Like an absolute angel of a child, Naruto and Sakura couldn't have asked for an easier first baby. Which was very fortunate, given how young they were when Sachi came along.

She is very, very proficient in Taijutsu and Kenjutsu. She can do Ninjutsu and Genjutsu perfectly well enough, but the way Sachi saw it ... if all else fails, she still wants to be able to throwdown, chakra or no chakra.

Also, being the big sister to three younger siblings gave her all the drive she needed to get strong, real, real quick.

Scary remember. Real fucking scary.

Ichika Uzumaki

Ichika is usually second, sometimes third, and is Naruto and Sakura's second daughter.

She's got blonde hair, Sakura's green eyes, Naruto's grin, cos all of the kids have it, and use it against Sakura to devastating effect lol, but she's got more of her mum's facial structure and build.

She's a little goofier than her sister but she's just as smart.

Ichika is also ... a little more naïve at first. Not for long, ninjaing knocks that out of you, just like life, but it's part of her personality to be just a smidge too trusting sometimes.

She's also GAY AS HELL. And has absolutely no compulsion to hide it when she's older and a pretty girl so much as smiles at her ... think Sakura's face disappearing into her hands.

Her speciality is seals and summons. She's the next one to get the toad contract and she is delighted by all things toad and frog.

As a little girl Naruto and Sakura would fondly tell you:

If you can't find Ichi with her head in a scroll studying seals, you *will* find her near a pond or a lake, talking to a frog.

Mt Myoboku becomes a second home, and in time, she too becomes a perfect Toad sage.

Yuuto Uzumaki

Yuuto is their first son, normally their third child, sometimes second, resembles Naruto the most of all his children appearance wise, his eyes being green and his hair more flowing than spiky being the only differences.

He's also a little shit lol.

He's a mouthy, back-talking little brat who takes a little bit too much after Grandpa Jiraiya in the perv department. You'd think, growing up with two older sisters and Sakura as his mum, he'd be a little bit less of a stereotypical boy but well ...

Though I suppose, he's only like that as a teenager. He does grow out of it and before he hits puberty, he is also a very nice kid. He hits very late teens, has a couple girlfriends, couple boyfriends ... crucially get's laid a lot lol, and calms the fuck down by the time he's in his early twenties.

But he's always the first one to make a joke, to wind up his siblings and is definitely, much to Naruto's secret amusement, the most like Naruto as a kid. It's not just the looks that are similar either lol.

Which also means he is the best friend you could ever ask for and would quite literally put himself through hell if you needed him.

And while being a pervy teen boy is not a good thing ... he's not gross. Yes, he needs to be reminded to put his tongue back in his mouth sometimes ... but he's never creepy about it.

This is not the teenage boy staring up girls' skirts or actively staring down cleavages. And like I said, he calms down by his early twenties. Where he just gets smooth lol.

Boy is very, very charming. In every way you can imagine. He makes a great diplomat lol.

He's also equally very talented, his speciality is ninjutsu quite ironically. His control is something mind-blowing and while he doesn't possess the levels of chakra that Naruto does ... he's still biologically an Uzumaki like the rest of his siblings.

Boy's a tank.

Akihiko Uzumaki

And last but not least, for now, is Akihiko.

Akihiko has dark pink hair, which almost darkens to a very, very light red when he hits early adulthood. He's the child who most resembles Sakura facially, including the forehead. But his eyes are a glorious merge of blue and green. Honestly they're quite astounding to look at.

He's also a sweet boy, very timid and quiet.

He gets on well enough with his peers, and truthfully a lot of Naruto and Sakura's friends kids grow up kinda as one big family, so it's not like Akihiko isn't surrounded by friends but ... he likes his space.

So much so that when he learned there were Genjutsu you could use to disappear from sight? He was on that shit. It also helped that his Jonin-sensei was Mirai Sarutobi.

Mirai, Asuma and Kurenai's daughter for anyone who isn't obsessed with families like I am lol, is a very close friend of the family.

Sakura actually took a decided interest in training Mirai, along with Shikamaru and while Sakura never had a dedicated Genin team ... she was definitely a mentor to the young Sarutobi.

But his other speciality? Medical jutsu.

Akihiko very, very quickly becomes a staple of Konoha Hospital. He doesn't so much ask to follow Sakura around, he just kinda shows up and Sakura hasn't the heart to tell him to go home.

He becomes very, very good at it, very early on. And he saves his teammates' lives on more than one occasion before he even gets promoted to Chunin.

And that's the lot of them! Hope you like the next generation of Naruto and Sakura's family, I'm looking forward to writing more stories about them truth be told!

See ya later!

LINKS:

Chapter 18 of A Tumble In Konoha, a Sachi story - https://archiveofourown.org/works/26878372/chapters/95242972#workskin

Chapter 19 of A Tumble In Konoha, another Sachi story with mentions of Ichika and Yuuto - https://archiveofourown.org/works/26878372/chapters/95803411#workskin

Chapter 21 of A Tumble In Konoha, an Akihiko story, with all of his elder siblings mentioned - https://archiveofourown.org/works/26878372/chapters/96715851#workskin

[shikadainara]

I never asked who are your favorite Naruto characters & why ? My favorites are:

1.)Kakashi (I loved him first. He was the first character I liked)

2.) Rock Lee & Might Guy (A sweetheart he deserved much more than the show gave him). I even watched Rock Lee & His Ninja Friends. I put them together because I love them. They truly made the show hilarious.

3.) Jiraiya (Oh do I miss you toad sage. :( Out of all the deaths on the show this upsets me the most).

4.) Tsunade (She is such a bad bitch. I love her).

5.) Temari (Love her as well. She has major boss bitch energy).

BONUS: Minato (Oh I love him. He is a sweetheart. Also the storyline with him and Kushina is one of the rare things Kishimoto done correctly).

Now on to the juicy stuff which Naruto characters do you hate the most & why ?

1.) Danzo (I really can’t stand this bitch. He is the root of a lot. IF THE THIRD HOKAGE DID HIS JOB THEY WOULDN’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH HIS ASS).

2.) Kabuto (What was his purpose ? So annoying)

3.) Sakura (I’m so iffy with her she has her ups and downs, but for me the negative outweigh the good. I’m very up and down with her).

4.) Sasuke (This bitch. ALOT OF THE PROBLEMS WAS BECAUSE OF HIM. He was so aggravating when going on his vengeance spree causing people trouble for what ? If anything Naruto should be the one whose evil the lead village needs their ass whoop for what they did to him).

5.) I don’t remember his name ,but the man in the early part of the series who threw a mask at Naruto when he asked about it. Can go rot in fucking hell. Naruto didn’t deserve that.

BONUS: To be honest I don’t really hate Sakura & Sasuke they just get in my damn nerves. BUT DANZO CAN ROT IN HELL. -🦑

I’m so sorry for this long post I just love your rants.

that's ok np feel free to keep sending whatever thoughts you have i love hearing them! and unfortunately, naruto is a permanent part of my very being so for the rest of my life i will always be able to discuss naruto at the drop of a hat 😂

if you want my thoughts on ST i mean that's kinda what this entire blog is about, maybe i can make a separate post later on trying to articulate what they mean to me but i think that would be hard to write in a concise way (also should go without saying but the rest of t10/sand sibs. love them too)

so to ramble about some other characters that i love:

ANKO!! i love her soooo damn much. she was genuinely... the first favorite character i ever had. when i was watching naruto as a young child, everything about her absolutely enthralled me. as someone with undiagnosed adhd that severely hindered my life when i became an adult, i think in hindsight it's very.... oh. it is incredibly bizarre for me to think that all of this time, 17 years later...... i STILL cannot think of another character that's an adult woman that lets herself be unabashedly hyperactive???

i don't think i can articulate enough just how much i think the scene where she tries to sacrifice herself to take down orochimaru (with the very jutsu that they taught her in the first place!!) left such an impact on my young psyche. at the time, i... never saw something quite like that in media, and to this day it still makes me feel like "OH!!!"

i adoreee how she got her own filler arc where she's so burdened by the curse mark, but works through her lost memories and comes to terms with how she wasn't abandoned. she chose to left on her own. the rest of the arc fucking sucks but it was framed as such an incredible moment of what it means to have agency over your own life, no matter how horrible of an upbringing you had. it's a shame the anime/manga did absolutely nothing with her after this because i have. SO MANY THOUGHTS.

this is an INCREDIBLY unpopular opinion, but i actually adore kabuto to bits. i usually don't care for villain characters one way or the other, but kabuto is just so fucking funny in everything he does that i think he's hilarious. the way he plays along with being orochimaru's doting underling but also very obviously has his own agenda and orochimaru knows that too LOL. it's comedy gold that naruto doesn't even find out until two entire arcs later "WAIT..... YOU LIED TO ME!??!?"

like. i'm not going to excuse his actions. but his tragic backstory does really, really get to me. of course every goddamn character has a tragic backstory in this series but everything about his in particular strikes me as super fucked up. like the whole "he was setup into killing his foster mother" is fucked up enough in and of itself, but on top of that the way it's presented that he has no fucking clue what his own identity is and tries to constantly completely reinvent himself over and over again at all costs... it's super compelling stuff, that's the kind of storytelling i vibe with. all he knows is a name and a pair of glasses: two things the orphanage gifted him. (... it's especially the fact that it's a pair of glasses that gets to me ummm please know that i am very weak to glasses characters <3)

plus without him, we wouldn't have either ninja info cards or the gif of him swatting away bees. who is doing it like him hashtag #iconic

as you can probably infer from 1) glasses and 2) even if i have zero thoughts on orochimaru themself, i am incredibly fascinated by the way they affect other characters... yes, i also really like karin. i don't have many actual thoughts about her i just think she's neat

to finish it off with one more. well, naruto himself. i have MANYYY complicated, conflicting thoughts about him. (he sure did grow up to a hypocrite!) but... he's still naruto. there's no other character on the planet that conveys quite the same feeling that naruto instills in me. please know about me that i alwayssss fall for the trope where all of the characters pin their hopes and dreams on believing in the charismatic protagonist. this is a feeling i have that is independent from if i think the protagonist is well-written LOL. like... do you remember the two page spread during the war that was just the footprints of the allied shinobi forces that the left behind in the mud as the rain clears, all running forward because they believe in naruto. that's. that's good i like that

this post is long enough but let me just say that UHH i agree fuck danzo <3

[narutoblogiguess]

Au where Kakashi gets crushed under the rock

This is very rambly and probably makes no sense also it has very little to do with Kakashi sorry read at your own risk

Okay, hear me out

So Kakashi gets crushed under the rock.

So obito lives and takes up Kakashi's whole always follow the rules shtick because he broke the rules and it resulted in his teammates *death* (also it parallel cannon Kakashi copying obito)

Rin still dies in this au probably in a similar way to cannon that obito thinks its his fault or something

So obito who is now super obsessed with following the rules and doing whatever konoha wants ends up on the anbu with itachi

So obito ends up in basically the same position as itachi completely loyal to the state

Itachi and obito both commit the massacre but kohona is like we only really need one Uchiha to put the blame on we can keep the other one so obito takes the fall for the massacre and joins akatsuki

Itachi was still very involved in the massacre tho

Sasuke saw itachi killing their parents but I've couldn't make out who it was at first and itachi used mangekyou to make him believe it was obito (because it was decided obito was to take the downfall)

So sasuke grows up believing obito killed everyone and vows to kill him

But itachi is basically rising sasuke and he has no idea about his brothers involvement with killing their clan

Itachi is living his ideal life cooking breakfast for sasuke or whatever

Their relationship is still straind tho but sasuke looks up to itachi and he loves him

Naruto and sasuke still long to be friends sending eachother glances and shit growing up, they still have the rivalry but sasuke reaches out a little more than in cannon but not much because he is still focused on revenge

The third hokage just to add to his growing list of the worst decisions ever puts itachi in charge of team 7

Itachi is the worst person to be in charge of team 7 he shows obvious favoritism towards sasuke and just expects them to do without him actually teaching them anything

Itachi cannot handle naruto lol

There isn't a bell test cuz itachi dosnt know anything about teamwork lol but Sasuke still share his lunch when he notices naruto is hungry (since the state won't give him enough money for food)

Basically sasuke is running team 7 because genin sasuke cares about teamwork and friendships even if he's to busy with revenge to pursue them itachi is just kinda there

When itachi sees Sasuke lying there on the bridge he puts Haku in a genjutsu and tourchers him before killing him and everyone thinks it's kinda fucked up

Naruto is the one to leave the village in this au but idk all the details about it yet idk if he has the curse mark or not I feel like orochmaru still wants sasuke but I'll figure it out later lol

During this reverse vote 1 naruto tells sasuke he never truly knew naruto's loneliness because he still has his brother

So Kakashi takes up kind of the tobi roll by hiding identity and joining the akatsuki so him and obito are akatsuki partners but obito has no idea its Kakashi (drama lol)

Sasuke is chasing after naruto and itachi is trying to get Sasuke to kill naruto to activate mangekyou and then Sasuke could complete his revenge but Sasuke refuses to cross that line (itachi just wants Sasuke to become more powerful to move up in the state and make a better name for himself or something idk itachi makes no sense lol)

More stuff happens lol idk about a bunch of stuff yet

Sasuke manages to kill obito and feels relief

But then Kakashi tells him the truth about itachi and konoha and sasuke activates mangekyou just by learning this

Then he confronts itachi and ends up killing him because at this point even tho Part of him still loves itachi he also still loves the clan and itachis actions where that of a monster and also betrayal (I feel like I shouldn't need to justify killing the perpetrator of genocide so much)

Also when they bring people back from the dead fugaku comes back and tells sasuke he loves him (hmm or maybe fugaku is the one who tells sasuke about itachi third be interesting)

Anyway sasuke tells naruto he understands him now because when he learned the truth about itachi he felt like he was truly alone in the world

And naruto asks if now is when they fight to death but sasuke is like no now that I know the truth we should destroy konoha

Then they revil all the atrocities kohona committed to the world and execute all the elders and maybe the othe kage then they blow up ninja Mt Rushmore and go travel the world together