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wellesleyunderground · 4 years

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Wellesley Underground Interview with Founders (Sara Hess ‘08 and Shavanna Calder ‘08) of Feminist Fashion & Beauty Magazine, MUJER!

Need a break from the politics? Dive into the making of Issue No.2 of MUJER! Magazine. Interview by Camylle Fleming ‘14.

1. Wellesley Underground (WU): Tell us about the origin of MUJER! Magazine and bring us up to speed on the November launch.

Sara Hess ‘08, Editor in Chief: MUJER! has been a long time coming for us. Ever since Shavanna and I were swapping clothes from each other’s closets when we were roommates at Wellesley, we’ve had an interest in fashion and over the years we’d often played around with the idea of doing a fashion related project together. MUJER! came about in late 2017 when I had reached a point of being really frustrated with fashion magazines (all of the ads and the Photoshop, the lack of any real content and focus on hyper consumption). I also was disappointed to see that several of the fashion bloggers I’d followed over the years and enjoyed for their authenticity were following the same route as they transitioned from blogs to Instagram and started posting highly stylized Photoshopped pics that were all sponsored and very phony. Finally, I had recently turned 30 and it then occurred to me that I was older than nearly all the models I saw in the major fashion publications, which is insane when you think about it. I told Shavanna what I was thinking of doing-- a feminist fashion and beauty mag, all models 25+, no Photoshop on their faces or bodies, more racial and ethnic diversity, a focus on more sustainable production and consumption and no ads. Shavanna is an amazing stylist and has a great eye for design so I was super excited when she agreed to be creative director. I was living between Mexico City and New York at the time. I had developed some contacts in the fashion industry in Mexico and really admired the fashion scene there, which is one of the reasons we went with the name MUJER! It took us about 6-7 months to produce the content for the first print edition which was published in September 2018.

2.WU: How did fashion and beauty become sites of contestation and rebellion for you two?

Sara: I grew up in a small town in rural Pennsylvania and was constantly getting in trouble for breaking the dress code at my public school. It’s ironic because I was definitely a major nerd-- not your typical rebel. In junior high, I was really upset to find out I had not been accepted to the National Junior Honor Society. I asked one of my teachers why and he told me that it was because the shorts that I wore to school were often too short. Honestly, it was not my intention to be risque. I was just awkwardly going through puberty and had legs that were too long for my body and it was impossible to find shorts that were long enough and didn’t look dorky. After that, I went through a punk rocker phase, where again clothing is a form of rebellion. I was totally into the early Gwen Stefani punk looks. I would get picked on a lot by classmates but then a few months later everyone would be wearing what I had been wearing before, which would be my cue to change styles because I never wanted to look like everyone else. For me, it became a way to stand out and to push back against conservative influences.

Shavanna Calder ‘08, Creative Director: I can’t say that I’ve thought of fashion for most of my life as a site of rebellion. I just wore what I liked and (especially as a kid) what was on trend.

I had hip surgery 5 years ago and have struggled to be able to wear heels after that. In some ways that forced me to rethink how to dress for formal situations (without heels). Though I am working towards wearing heels again through physical therapy (my profession requires it), I’ve found a certain level of pride in showing other women that we can still look dressed up/professional etc. without wearing heels. Also embracing flatforms has been fun!

I think beauty, more so, has always been a site of contestation and rebellion for me as a Black woman. Growing up and having hair that was different than most of my friends. Makeup and hair supplies that we had to drive an extra distance for. Reading different magazines than my friends because teen vogue (at that time), seventeen etc never catered to me (thank God for Essence). Now, being natural, my hair oftentimes is a point of rebellion/contestation as I educate and ask for the things that I need as a Black artist instead of accepting the burden of sitting in silence.

Founders Shavanna + Sara (above)

3. WU: On social media, you’ve discussed the initiative of “showing women as they actually exist in the world”. Can you describe some of the images you two grew up with and how they are in conversation with MUJER!

Shavanna: In some ways growing up when I did, I feel like I did get to see images of women (more often) without photoshop and a ton of contouring etc because that just wasn’t on trend. It’s one thing I miss about the early 2000’s. That being said, the rest of the content oftentimes centered around ways to get men, look flirty etc etc. For us I think “showing women as they actually exist in the world” goes beyond imaging to the content of the magazine (the stories and issues that are discussed) as well as the lack of harmful ads encouraging women to alter their bodies by buying certain products etc. We are able to highlight a diverse group of female identifying folx and the complexity of us instead of the monolith that I often see portrayed.

4. WU: What are the ways in which your Mexico City base contributes to the core principles of MUJER!

Sara: Mexico City is just my heart and soul. I don’t know how else to describe it. It makes me turn to mush as though I’m talking about someone I’m in love with. The creative and design scene here is out of this world funky and unique and I really feel that I can wear anything going out here at night. People are elegant and cool and put a great deal of thought into how they present themselves. The fashion scene is authentic and fun and nowhere near as pretentious as it is in other parts of the world. We try to reflect this creativity and sincerity in MUJER! as well.

Shavanna: Additionally I’ll say that people have really embraced us there. There is an openness, flexibility and sense of collaboration that has made it super easy to throw any ideas we have out there and run with it (more than I’ve seen in other parts of the world).

5. WU: For those of us who are new to publication production, can you walk us through the steps of creating content, finding models, artwork, all without the filler of advertisements?

Sara: We are also new to magazine production, ha! We started by basically bringing together people we knew from the fashion world here in Mexico City. I have a dear friend, Jenny. She’s a stylist from Sweden and was working on the sets of reality shows here so she kind of kicked me into gear to do the first beauty shoot. She had a lot of experience doing shoots so she helped me get a great photographer and scout a location and models. We’ve really been blessed with meeting all of the right people at the right moment. We found a wonderful lead graphic designer, Celina Arrazola who happened to know the neighborhood where all the printers are and was an expert in hand binding books. Advertisements were never an option so we self-finance the production, which was and is intense.

Shavanna: Yes, as Sara mentioned we’re incredibly new to this and are (honestly) still figuring a lot out as we go. However, generally we come up with ideas/stories together that excite us, that we haven’t seen in other fashion magazines. We then reach out to female identifying folx to help us realize these ideas (because we want to support female entrepreneurs as well). The hardest part will be figuring out how to make it sustainable (and take the more of the financial burden off of Sara) and we’re in the process of sorting that out the best way we can!

5a. WU: Okay, same question. Add COVID, go:

Sara: Now, because of COVID, our plans to do another print edition were derailed so we decided to do a digital edition-- everyone featured sent in their own photos and instead of printing we created a PDF version of the magazine, with Celina’s excellent graphic design of course.

It essentially made printing the way we did with the first edition impossible. That was a very manual process that involved visiting the printer in person multiple times and Celina handbound the magazine, with me struggling to be useful to her by folding the pages. This time we went all digital.

Shavanna: In addition we had to become creative since we could no longer conduct shoots or interviews in person. Everything was done via email (except for Sultana’s shoot which happened pre-COVID). All other photos were submitted by the women in the issue. Whilst I missed many aspects of being in person, in some ways the challenge allowed us to lean in to our mission of showing women as we truly are. It also allowed for us to have a remote intern via Wellesley which was awesome!

6. WU: How do you want to grapple with the plurality of feminism(s) in the pages of the magazine?

Shavanna: By being truly intentional about seeking out diverse voices. By celebrating those voices and by taking our readers feedback to heart. Outside of the folx who are interviewed or featured in our magazine we attempt to employ women in the creation of the physical product as well (design, photography etc). The end result is something that has been touched by women from various parts of the world and from different walks of life.

7. WU: Can you share the story of how the magazine gained its title? How do you respond to any pushback and claims of appropriation from Latinx individuals for your usage of the word “Mujer”?

Sara: For starters, we were founded in Mexico City and at least half of our readers are native Spanish speakers. The publication, like many of its readers, is also bilingual. For the interviews and articles that are originally done in Spanish, we leave them in Spanish, only translating key quotes into English and vice versa for pieces that are originally in English. The title is also a global call to women that goes beyond the English-language paradigm.

8.WU: The fashion and beauty industry can carry both an air of superficiality and apoliticism. Tell us what people get wrong about the experience of working within it.

Sara: I think this is hard for us to get into because we are not really working in the fashion and beauty industry-- we are working parallel to it and trying to pick the piece we enjoy while also creating something new and different for women that makes them feel empowered, not inadequate.

Shavanna: Yes neither Sara nor I really work within the industry (nor have we prior to the magazine). I’ve worked as a stylist from time to time, but that’s about it. For the most part we’ve been consumers who were unhappy with what we were consuming and figured we could do something about it.

9. WU: In an effort to not over-glorify the value of success and “making it”, let’s talk about failure. Can you share with our readers what went wrong in the process of producing MUJER!?

Sara: Before our Chilanga shoot, Shavanna and I got horrible food poisoning. Like, nearly had to go to the hospital.

Shavanna: Yes we were living on pepto bismol and had just started eating plain bread and pasta the day of our shoot, but we powered through! Honestly this magazine has felt like a contribution to society that we were meant to be a part of, so despite obstacles that have come up, we know that we can’t be sidetracked.

10. WU: How do you react to the “self-care” trend and it’s correlation to the consumption of beauty products? Relatedly, how do you two take care of yourselves?

Sara: I’m an introvert who fakes being an extrovert, but I definitely know I need alone time so I try to make space for that. As of late, I try to use more natural/ organic beauty products and just less of everything period. Also sleep. Sleep is so important. Finally, I’ve decided I will deal with drama in my professional life because I feel like that’s where I’m making a contribution that’s important but I try to minimize drama in my personal life as much as possible.

Shavanna: I try to take care of myself by reminding myself that rest is ok and necessary (so hard). Practicing my faith/meditation. Asking for what I need. Going to therapy (physical and mental health). Exercising. Connecting with loved ones (friends and family). Being kind to myself.

11. WU: As a follower of your Insta page, I find myself lingering on your original posts, staring into the faces of the individuals you capture. It makes me realize how my brain has been trained to see the same faces featured in public spaces, so much so that they’ve become invisible. Can you share the favorite photos that you’ve captured and why they stand out to you?

Shavanna: My favorite photos are of Wellesley alumna Solonje Burnett. I’ve always admired Solonje’s fearlessness and creativity and I think we truly captured her essence in these. Though she is beautiful, the interview is about so much more and highlights her as the complex, multifaceted woman that she is (instead of just her beauty routine or what her house looks like).

12. WU: What does the day in the life of an Editor-in-Chief look like? How about a Creative Director?

Shavanna: We’re very collaborative. I don’t think we really have hard and fast rules as to who does what necessarily as much as it’s a partnership. One of us will propose an idea (in between juggling the rest of our lives) and we’ll discuss pros and cons and greenlight what works best and aligns with our values. We also just hold each other accountable. Right now there isn’t a typical day in the life as well just because we both have other jobs (though it would be amazing for Mujer! to continue to take off in a way that allowed us to devote more time to it).

13. WU: Both of you currently have worked with higher education institutions (Harvard + NYU). Can you tell us a bit about your “day jobs” and the types of opportunities they have afforded you in relation to the Magazine?

Sara: While I was working at HBS, I co-authored a case study on Monocle magazine which has helped to inform some of our thinking around the business model for MUJER!

Shavanna: I worked for almost 7 years at NYU, first at Stern and then within the Faculty of Arts & Science. In terms of opportunities? I’d say actually, for me, anyway the two aren’t related. My time at NYU influenced my acting career more so than Mujer! by giving me some flexibility and certainly financial stability.

14. WU: Lastly - a question you ask your features in the upcoming digital issue: how have you been gentle with yourself during this time?

Sara: Uff, I have been eating a lot of ice cream and taking breaks when I need to. I turned off the New York Times news alerts on my phone. I still read the news everyday but this has helped a lot.

Shavanna: Uff indeed. Hm sometimes I remind myself that the fact that I’m functioning is enough. This quote from Audre Lorde has been getting me through: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

Working out and going for walks, journaling, therapy, being in touch with my spirituality, limiting myself on social media (or at least certain groups or accounts), listening to my body in terms of what it wants (whether that be food or change of environment). Talking to friends when I have the energy always brightens my day and constantly reminding myself to take things one moment/day at a time. This is all incredibly hard and I’m grateful to those who have been gentle with me when I struggle to be gentle with myself.

Check out the MUJER! Covid-19 digital issue here: https://www.mujerrev.com/mujer-sale Given the increase in domestic violence and gender based violence around the world during the pandemic, a portion of the proceeds from the issue will go to two organizations helping womxn that are survivors of domestic abuse and human trafficking: Women of Color Network - Blue Lips Campaign and El Pozo de Vida.

MUJER! Homepage: https://www.mujerrev.com/ MUJER! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mujerrev/

#wellesleyunderground #wellesley college #mujermagazine #fashion #beauty

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comicteaparty · 4 years

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June 13th-June 19th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from June 13th, 2020 to June 19th, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:

What is your physical and digital workspace like when you’re working on your story?

🌈ERROR404 🌈

LOL it really depends on what stage I'm in of the process - My storyboarding space is at home, as comfortable as I can be, a beer and some food at the ready and pure silence. The cats have to be freshly fed, otherwise I'll be harassed and lose my headspace entirely LOL. I usually work on my story boards digitally, just at a very small scale, with my script/outline on my computer and working on my ipad! The double screen helps a LOT, although i would just print out the script if I had access to a printer, haha. When I'm working on the actual page itself, it's a very different story. I usually just try and work on it in tiny little batches during the day when I'm stuck at home, and usually work around the animals as best i can, lmao. Truthfully, I really prefer to be in a coffee shop when I'm working on finishing pages, it makes me so much more productive than i am in this house with so many things to take care of right in front of me, but, obviously, that's a bit difficult to do these days. ;; I usually reserve food and drink until after I pass a milestone in inking/sketching to help motivate me to keep going for as much as I can before taking a break, and I need some kind of music or video playing in the background to keep myself from being absolutely bored out of my mind. My shading process, since it's in black and white, is very easy and i can finish it in one setting, easy, no matter what I'm working with. I also work digitally for my pages, of course, although I don't need more than my ipad and clip studio for it!

DaeofthePast

freshly fed cats

🌈ERROR404 🌈

They are BEASTS when hungry, the little bastards (love them)

I may only work in peace when they're post-food napping lmao

DaeofthePast

we only have one, but same

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I work almost entirely in the corner of my IKEA couch at home I used to work at a proper desk with a Cintiq, but when I switched to Procreate on an iPad, I migrated to the couch and surrounded myself with a nest of clothes and blankets and books and... here I am, bein' cozy. With terrible posture But when I was between jobs last year, I did rent a little coworking space down the street so I could get out of my pajamas and go get comic stuff done there. It was a godsend. I like drawing at my favorite coffee shop every so often too, but I tend to hide my work while I draw, and there, everyone can look over my shoulder The coworking space had a tall artist desk that was rarely used, so I often grabbed that one. Not cheap, but to stave off cabin fever, heck yes, worth it.

🌈ERROR404 🌈

Ahhh I've been really thinking about getting a studio space one of these days I really shouldn't rn, with my finances as they are, but I could REALLY make use of one recently

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I loved the space I used last year. They recently had to close for... current-event reasons... and are going to reopen with all sorts of plexiglass barriers between the desks I feel so bad for them. Good studio spaces are wonderful, I would support them again if I ever was out of a job!

🌈ERROR404 🌈

it's good they've found ways to make it safer, though!

carcarchu

My old workspace was in the basement of my home in canada and it was always perpetually freezing even in the summer and i was frequently visited by spiders so my current workspace is a huge improvement in that regard. I do miss my old ergonomic desk chair though. I'm definitely not the kind of person who can draw in bed or on the couch. I need to be in workmode and having a designated space just for that is necessary for me to get in the right headspace for that.

DaeofthePast

my workspace rn is just my desk with my laptop and my drawing tablet. my laptop is stacked on top of a pile of books so i can see the screen (otherwise my tablet blocks my line of sight). it's kinda simple

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Depends. I have a Cintiq Mobile Studio, so I can draw pretty much every where and sometimes in the oddest position, but most of the time I am on my desk with the cintiq hooked up to a second monitor so I don't have to look down so much.(edited)

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

For Wayfinders: Thumbnails are somewhere cozy and the only physical work. Me and Q sit and plan them out together. The rest of wayfinders are made on Photoshop, and flat colors in clip paint studio. In the world I would love a nice studio place in an office with others. During corentine I have been working from home, and I am not that good at it, being quite the extrovert. Before corentine I was in a artist residency where I worked on Wayfinders which had a workstation and all the programs we could need. It is so nice and me and Q are going to return there when it opens up again!

Miranda

I have an iPad so usually on the couch, cozied up with coffee and pillows and blankets. But sometimes at the table. But usually on the couch like the gremlin I am

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I have a large drafting table, a mini drafting table, and a lapdesk in my papasan when we ink/draw! Toning and letters are all done on the desktop in its own space

Miranda

I need to get a good lap desk. But that sounds like a grand setup!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

My first time hearing about a lapdesk

Omg I need one

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

They are the best things ever Mine has just the pencil holder !(some come with cup holders and its a waste of space imo)

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Wow I like your setup of the drafting tables

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I wanna show pics of them....if im allowed in this chat?

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I hope so, I'm not sure which channel we can post studio photos at? I did see some did before?

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

Ill post in shop talk since creator babble gets archived

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

my current space is uh.... a bit better than my last one. I used to work on an old writers desk for a decade and I did most of my comic work sitting there cramped up with my desktop taking most of the space. Now I have an L shaped desk where I have my desktop on the shorter end. The longer end it's my pen, pencils, and watercolor stuff. my display tablet occupy the space at times so switching from digital and traditional without worrying about setup hassle is a lot better than what I dealt with before lol.

I'm glad the days I had to curl up and draw with no privacy are long gone now

kayotics

I’ve got a little drafting table where I draw all my comic pages. I’m messy with my pens so they’re kind of strewn about until I start to lose them. Then I put them back. I’m not particularly neat. I spend most of the comic process off the computer, so most of my digital work is just on an iPad where I can sit anywhere. I try to keep good lighting around my drafting table and there’s always loose eraser shavings all over.

Natasha Berlin (Pot of Gold)

I got myself a lil corner desk by the dining table. Not as well-lit as I'd like, but it's decently ergonomic and I started putting posters on my wall Plus I can leave work mindset easily by turning off my computer and forgetting about the dark corner in the dining room XD(edited)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My desk is really sloppy and covered in all kinds of junk. I have a harmonica, a ball of yarn, a bunch of ink bottles, etc on my desk. I have my sketchbook under my tablet and usually a notebook somewhere for writing. My tablet sits to the right of my laptop (on top of sketchbook) while I'm not using it and when I'm using it it goes over my computer keyboard. I sometimes have a glass of water or some food sitting to the lefthand side

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

The only thing I wanna share about my workspace is this

once i spent over three hours looking for that damned pen

never again

🌈ERROR404 🌈

Ajkdhfkjs the models for hte magazine im crying

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh my God

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

mad giggling

Deo101 [Millennium]

youre gonna manage to lose the string

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

omg

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i know in my heart deo is right but still i hope

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

You should weld a metal chain to it

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Watch me lose the whole tablet

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh nooo

I believe in you!

TaliePlume

My workspace is a black table with a white, yellow, blue and green tablecloth with 3 black chairs. It's next to the kitchen. On it, is my laptop and the left side is my clipboard, 3 blue folders full of writing. Then above it, is 3 sketchbooks and another blue folder from a class that I took in community college.

June 16, 2020

sagaholmgaard

I have one long desk at almost three meters. On the left side is all my coffee and tea supplies, in the middle is my work space and on the right is my dining table xD I get everything done from there, despite having a mobilestudio so I COULD sit anywhere and work, lol. It's a blessing during holiday seasons to be able to bring it everywhere, but at some I like my designated working space. Although I am moving in a few weeks, so who knows what my new workspace will be

Moral_Gutpunch

My workspace is anywhere I can draw or write. It's more of a "Will I be interrupted over something petty or stupid" issue than space. Not that I don't want more space.

Mitzi (Trophallaxis)

My workspace is a big, broken corner desk I managed to lug out of an old apartment when it was gonna be trashed. Before then, I'd just draw in bed. I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure the folding chair I sit at is a similar affair. It's got a Dollar General throw pillow on it so I can at least say I'm trying to save my back. The top of the desk is a mess of mostly old bottles and cans, pencils, incense ash, and my old tarot deck. I love this setup dearly. This is the first time I've ever had my own desk space, much less a space I can decorate or leave as messy as I want. Got my own art up on the walls with sticky tack and all! Also the cat's scratching post is directly behind me, because we've learned the cat won't use it unless it's as in the way as possible. What can ya do, lol.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh cats...

Desnik

I got spoiled with an adjustable desk. It is six feet long, and has a whiteboard top for noodling with dry erase markers

my main computer is set up on an adjustable stand so it floats over the desk, and then I have my cintiq, which we tried to mount on a similar stand but then it was just too heavy

I keep my dice collection nearby because fidgeting helps think things through sometimes

and rolling to make odd decisions never hurts

lately during the quarantine I've been sharing the office with my spouse so we've had to establish rules over when it's okay to bug each other(edited)

oh yeah and we also have a whiteboard installed in the office, and it rules!(edited)

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

Mine is pretty simple: I have a laptop that's long stopped being portable and is now mostly just sitting at my desk at all times and a 19 inch Ugee as my display. I usually keep a lot of stuff on top of my desk, but it's mostly just a mess because I have been using it for work too for a while now

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I suppose I'll talk about my setup too :) My main setup is where I do digital art. I share an office with my SO, so we both have workspaces on opposite walls from each other. I work on a corner desk that holds my beefy computer, two monitors, and a Huion Kamvas GT-191. That's where I draw my comic and pretty much everything else done digitally. Ngl, it's a mess right now. I have comic notes and location floor plans in sketchbooks and DnD character sheets spread out all over the surface, and random pens and sticky notes. In the corner of the room, we have a nice large-format printer where I produce prints for conventions. I actually sketch my pages on an iPad pro in Procreate, so during the sketch phase, sometimes I'll just bundle up on my couch and do it, or before quarantine, sometimes I'd sketch on the go. My other workspace (which hasn't gotten much love as of late tbh) is a drafting table in the corner of our living room. I keep a tabletop easel on it and my Copic markers, as well as whatever I'm working on at the moment. (RN it's some ink washes.) The drawers hold all my ink, pencils, erasers, etc. Next to the drafting table is where I keep all my large charcoal, graphite, and oil pastel drawings (mostly school projects), and my large paintings. Other than that, I have a nifty little cart where I keep painting supplies :) I will say, this setup is by far an enormous improvement from my previous setups.

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #creator interview #comic creator interview #creator babble

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i-am-thedragon · 6 years

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Repairs

Here’s a DHMIS fanfic I wrote back in March 2016, but never uploaded for whatever reason. I recently rediscovered it and I’m posting it now, because I’m on a bit of a DHMIS kick and I honestly miss being active in the fandom. I considered editing some bits of this fanfic, but I decided to leave it as is in all its “my pretentious 2016 writing style” glory. Also note (to those unfamiliar with my fanfics) that I referred to the characters as Red(Redmond), Donnie, and Crowe at the time, before their names were confirmed(?) as being ‘Red Guy’, ‘Yellow Guy’, and ‘Duck’.

Story description: After the events of DHMIS 4, our three beloved protagonists are left with an aggressive (but slowly dying) computer they do not know what to do with. But of course, one puppet’s trash is another’s high-value collector’s treasure. 6331 words, mild mentions of gore.

Without further delay, here is Repairs.

Donnie stood silently in the hall, pouting at a seemingly inconspicuous closed door. The door led into the games room, in which the board games, the laptop, and other knick-knacks were kept. The child let out a whine as he slouched forward unhappily, his orange nose almost touching the door.

His attention turned to the sound of approaching footsteps from the end of the hall. It was his friend Crowe, peering at him with curiosity.

“What’s the matter?” The green-feathered duck asked. “Why in the world are you staring at that door?”

He had a feeling, however, that he already knew the answer.

“I wanna play Money Win.” Donnie grumbled, scuffing his foot dejectedly on the ground. “But the scary computer’s in there.”

“Oh, he’s not that scary.” Crowe responded with a chuckle. “He’s just a box of gadgetry, all made up of buttons and wires!”

“Well if you’re not scared of him, why don’t you get the Money Win game for me!” Donnie retorted somewhat defensively. “…Please?”

The smile was wiped from Crowe’s beak as he thought about actually going in there. He didn’t want to admit it, but Colin the Computer did unnerve him. The ‘games room incident’ had only occurred a couple of days earlier, and that room had been an unpleasant place to be ever since. Whenever someone went in there Colin would act up, making strange noises and asking increasingly nonsensical questions like “Did you drink a orange today?” or “How many egg are you?”, and growing unpredictable and aggressive. Still, it wasn’t like he could get hurt in there, right? Colin was just a bunch of buttons, wires, and circuits after all.

“Alright, fine!” Crowe huffed. “But I get first turn when we start playing!”

Crowe tried to hide his hesitation as he turned the door knob and pushed the door open. The games room stood before him, in its usual presentable state. On the table in the center, however, stood that computer, gazing back at him with gritted teeth and that square-eyed stare. Traces of a mysterious dirty-yellow liquid trickled from his eyes and mouth. Colin began emitting a low-quality whining noise upon being noticed. Crowe gulped as he stepped inside. Lucky for him at least, the board game he was after was on top of the shelf right near the doorway, so he wouldn’t have to pass Colin to get to it. Not so fortunately, it was far too high for him to reach.

“I’m sorry, Donnie, you’ll have to ask Red to get it.” Crowe spoke, shaking his head.

Donnie simply gave a sad nod and walked away, leaving Crowe alone. The bird’s attention wandered to the desk at the other end of the room, on which sat a quill and ink. One of his beloved possessions! Oh how he’d missed it those past few days. Crowe wanted it back… But he had to make it past Colin first. Surely that wouldn’t be a problem, or so he hoped. With slow, steady steps, he paced past the table. When he glanced at the computer watching over him ominously, the two locked in a gaze. It seemed Colin’s stare was growing more malevolent and his voice increasing in pitch and volume with each passing moment, until he finally snapped.

“WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEEEEEEEEE-“

Crowe nearly jumped right out of his feathers before turning and bolting out of the games room, slamming the door shut behind him.

At that moment, Red and Donnie entered the hallway, stopping when they noticed how panicked their friend looked.

“It’s the computer, isn’t it?” Red sighed.

“Well, I uh, I got a little startled, that’s all!” Crowe squeaked shakily with a sheepish grin.

Donnie folded his arms with an ‘I told you so’ smirk as Red pondered what to do.

“I think he’s dying anyway.” Red decided with a shrug. “Just leave him ‘til he stops moving and making noises.”

“So… No Money Win?” Donnie asked.

“Not yet.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A few days passed and Red simply couldn’t handle it. He hardly cared about that creepy computer anymore, he needed his laptop. He longed for that pristine screen, those data-filled files, that sweet, sweet, internet connection. Colin could scream and flail all he wanted, Red was getting that laptop back.

Upon opening the door, Red was greeted by a warbled screeching as Colin flailed his cord-like arms around. That nasty yellowish substance was still leaking from the computer’s eyes and mouth, staining the tablecloth. Red knew that Colin hated him the most, and was particularly aggressive in his presence.

The long-haired figure ignored the screeching and flailing, turning to a nearby shelf and gently removing a closed laptop from the top of it. What a superior piece of technology it was. While he was there, Red also collected Crowe’s quill and ink from the desk and the Money Win game from atop the shelf. He would come for the rest later. Colin’s screeching tried to form itself into words, but all that came out was an enraged digital mess.

After pushing the games room door shut with his foot, Red trudged into the living room and placed the board game on the book shelf.

“I wonder if Donnie will notice it’s there when he comes back into the living room.” Crowe chuckled, watching Red from his rocking chair. “He’s in his bedroom playing with his toys at the moment.”

“Oh, I got this for you.” Red stated, turning around and holding out the quill and ink.

The duck sprung from his chair and darted over gleefully, taking his beloved possession with a smile.

“Ah, thank you so much!” He exclaimed. “I heard that nasty computer screaming bloody murder while you were in there. Golly, that must have been frightening!”

“Not really, it’s not like he can do much other than that anymore.” Red replied with a shrug. “Give him a few more days and he’ll be pretty much dead. Anyway, I got our laptop back, too. I really need to check my emails.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A few further days passed. Although he rarely admitted it, the deep web was one of Red’s favourite places to explore. That’s where a lot of the stranger sites were. He wasn’t into the completely depraved and grotesque content, of course, but by now he was mostly desensitised to it anyway. Red mostly came across websites made by people with unique obsessions; the kind of people with entire websites dedicated to rocking chairs and video segments of themselves describing and analysing every chair in their collection.

It was one of those sort of sites Red had come across that evening, one made by someone with a deep fascination with old computers. He shook his head as he scrolled down, wondering how anyone could deal with so much painfully outdated technology. Whoever this person was, they possessed not only a large collection of those vintage machines, but just about every manual or advertisement piece relating to them. Clicking on a page for any of this person’s computers would lead to long page with in-depth descriptions of its history, functions, maintenance, and so on. Perhaps it wasn’t so much how frighteningly comprehensive the site was that made Red just a little uncomfortable, but rather the sight of all those old, outdated computers. They all reminded him so much of Colin. Still, credit due where credit was due, he was impressed with the effort the owner of this site had put into it.

Red was thinking of logging off for the evening when he came across something that made his heart jump. On a web page detailing the few vintage computers not in the site owner’s possession, there was an advertisement with an all too familiar face on it.

“It’s that darn thing in the games room…” Red muttered quietly to himself, taking a sip from his mug of coffee.

The advertisement, scanned from some old magazine or newspaper, featured that blocky machine with those square eyes and gritted teeth.

The Smart Boy Industries ALL NEW Computery Guy!

The pinnacle of modern technology! Comes with Doors ∞ pre-installed!

Can count at incredible speeds, tell the time with pinpoint accuracy, and remember personal info!

All thanks to Smart Boy Industries’ patented DIGITAL MIND!

Now Red was both disturbed and curious. He wanted to know more about the digital beast terrorising the games room. Luckily, this deep-web site didn’t fail to deliver.

I’ve been wanting to get my paws on one of these beauties for ages, but I don’t think it’ll happen. I’ve searched far and wide all over the web, but no-one’s selling one! I wouldn’t blame them, really. Can you believe only 50 of them were ever made? They were discontinued pretty quickly after their release on June 19, 1985 and became a real rarity. Chances are most, if not all of them, have either been thrown out or simply stopped working by now. The Computery Guy line was incredibly controversial due to the inclusion of the ‘digital mind’- A piece of REAL brain or brain-like tissue that was supposed to make the computer smarter and more functional. I can see how that raised a lot of ethical issues. In fact, three months after the release of the Computery Guy they were banned in 19 countries. Smart Boy Industries took a huge hit from the controversy, they almost got shut down entirely! I am fairly sure they’re still around, but much smaller and they don’t make computers anymore. I heard they do make printers and other electronics now, though. Anyway, here are some of the Computery Guy’s unique functions…

Red didn’t read beyond that point. That computer was a rarity? Possibly the last unit of the model! That wasn’t what surprised him the most, though. Colin essentially had a real brain. That might have explained some of his odd behaviour.

“Red, may I use the laptop briefly when you’re done with it?” Spoke Crowe from nearby, startling Red. “There’s an old song with a title that escapes me at the moment. I was hoping I might find the answer online.”

“Sure.” Replied Red. “But first, you should take a look at this.”

He swiveled the laptop around and showed it to his friend. Crowe looked at the screen with disgust at first, then the same morbid curiosity Red had felt before.

“I’m surprised anyone would want one of those.” The bird scoffed. “Though I suppose ours isn’t exactly… Functioning properly.”

“I wonder what the computer was like in his better days.” Red thought aloud with a shrug.

“Where did you find this anyway?” Crowe asked. “Have you been exploring the deep web again? I heard it’s a dangerous place.”

“Relax, Crowe, it’s just a site about old computers.”

“How much do you think this person would pay us for our Computery Guy?”

Red did a double-take upon hearing that question.

“You think we should sell him to whoever owns this site?”

“Yes. Well, we need to get him off our hands somehow. And surely you know by now that disposing of computers and other electronics in landfill is terrible for the environment! Besides, if this mysterious person is that much of an avid enthusiast for vintage computers, we should get quite a bit in return.”

Red dwelled on the idea for a silent moment or two. Receiving Colin could make this person’s day, or possibly ruin it, too. Either way, they’d probably pay big money for him. Unfortunately, it seemed the Computery Guy in the games room was in his final days anyway. While a non-functional model might still be worth something, he probably wouldn’t be worth a whole lot.

“Alright Crowe.” Red decided. “I’ll see if I can contact this person tomorrow. Whoever they are they need to know what they’re getting into, first.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Hello. My name is Redmond. I was browsing your vintage computer website the other day and I saw you had interest in the Smart Boy Industries’ ‘Computery Guy’. It looks like you haven’t updated your site for quite a long time, but I was wondering if you were still interested in owning one. My friends and I have one in our games room we’ve been meaning to get rid of, and we were thinking you might be interested in buying it. Unfortunately, the computer is pretty broken at this point. Please respond if you’re interested.

-Redmond

Red sent the email to the contact address given on that deep-web site. He hoped he would get a reply within the following week or two, but if not, then so be it. It was worth a shot regardless. He ended up receiving a reply early the next day.

Hello Redmond! I’m Pillars Cloudfoot. I’m very excited about your offer! I’ve yet to make contact with someone owning a Computery Guy, let alone someone offering to sell theirs! Wow!

Which one is he? Someone on one of my forums told me they all have a unique name- Caleb, Curtis, Clyde, Carl, Chris, Connor, Colin, Cameron, Craig, Colby, Clarence, Calvin, Corby, and Claude, to name a few.

Don’t worry about him being broken, I’d imagine they all kicked the bucket a couple decades ago. Even if I can’t find a way to repair him I’ll be glad just to have him in my collection. All I ask is that you show me a photo first, just so I know you’re being legitimate about this. Don’t take it personally, there are just too many scammers out there, y’know?

-Mx. Cloudfoot

Red was pleased with the response he received. This ‘Pillars’ seemed like a pretty decent person, and they were certainly happy about the offer. When Red stepped into the games room with his laptop in his hands, Colin began emitting a low, droning whine comparable to a toy with a low battery. Other than that, though, he didn’t do anything. He simply sat in place, his jaw hanging open and his eyes filled with malice despite his drooping eyelids.

“Be quiet, you won’t have to deal with us too much longer.” Red said as he turned the laptop to face the computer.

He clicked a button and took a photo of Colin using the laptop’s in-built webcam. The image quality wasn’t too great but it was good enough, and it saved Red having to get the camera and go searching for the USB cord to connect it to the laptop.

Looking at the photo he’d just taken, and then back at Colin, he realised just how much of a nasty condition the computer was in. Remnants of a strange yellowish fluid had dried in his mouth and eyes, and in pools beneath him, and his face seemed stuck in a weary but vicious scream. The grainy quality of the photo didn’t help. Red had a feeling Pillars wouldn’t appreciate that.

Thanks for responding to my offer. I’ve attached a photo of the Computery Guy- His name is Colin- and as you can probably tell he’s not in such good shape. I should point out that he wasn’t originally ours, he appeared in our house less than a fortnight ago out of nowhere and was actually mostly functional at the time. We’ve no idea where he came from or who owned him before us. All we can tell is that Colin was really aggressive and kind of rude, too. He managed to scare all three of us. That’s why we’re selling him. I hope that doesn’t put you off buying him, Pillars. It’s not like he can really do anything now anyway. I’ll try to get that dried fluid cleaned up, too. I don’t know what it is, though.

-Redmond

A response came only several hours later.

Yikes! I see what you mean! Good grief, poor Colin!

Actually, you have me very curious and a bit concerned. If what you say is true, Colin’s been functioning for almost three decades! Incredible! But you said he was aggressive? How so? From what I know the Computery Guys were never meant to be aggressive or disobedient in any circumstances. That’s really strange. Now that he’s dead you can’t run diagnostics, but I think you should take a look at his digital mind anyway. Just see if anything looks abnormal.

In case you don’t know how, here’s how to get the digital mind out:

Press the green, red, and blue button on the back of the monitor simultaneously, hold for six seconds, and then turn the knob beside it until you hear a click. That should eject the digital mind cartridge. You can open the cartridge to inspect the digital mind but I highly recommend not leaving it open for too long. It’s bad to expose the digital mind for too long. Then slide the cartridge back in when you’re done.

I’ve also attached a couple of scans uploaded to one of my forums. You’ll probably need to take some bits apart to properly clean Colin so these couple of pages from the manual should detail how to do that. Apparently Smart Boy Industries knew the Computery Guys were prone to small leakages around the eyes and mouth, but I don’t know how yours got THAT bad.

-Mx. Cloudfoot

Cleaning all that bizarre dried gunk off Colin would give Red something to do over the weekend. Maybe Donnie and Crowe would help, though he wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t want to. Heck, even he was hesitant about touching Colin again.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Donnie peeked his head through the doorway timidly, gripping at the door frame with his fingers. He watched as his two best friends sat themselves down around the table with a toolbox, the laptop, and some rags and cleaning supplies. The child nervously eyed the subject of interest, the now lifeless computer in the center of the table. Colin was still in the same state as when Red last saw him, only quieter. His jaw still hung agape, his eyelids droopy and his cord-like arms limp. That residue around his eyes and mouth only made his appearance more morbid.

Red began by placing one hand on top of Colin and firmly grasping the computer’s jaw with the other. With a pull and a slight jiggle, the jaw detached and Red handed it over to Crowe. Without a word, Crowe began cleaning Colin’s jaw, scrubbing away the mysterious yellow residue from between the teeth. Red pulled a screwdriver from his toolbox and began unscrewing the frame around Colin’s monitor. That part needed to be removed so Red could properly clean around Colin’s eyes.

Donnie watched on with cautious curiosity. Even if he wasn’t as afraid of the computer as he had been before, he still didn’t want to be in the same room as him. Besides, cleaning dirty computer parts didn’t sound like much fun anyway. It was rather interesting to watch, though.

Red and Crowe finished cleaning Colin more quickly than they had anticipated. Red had expected those strange leaks to have from a bit deeper within Colin, yet neither he nor Crowe had any luck finding the source of it. It was if the substance had just appeared at the computer’s eyes and mouth. As red screwed the frame of Colin’s monitor back on, Crowe spoke.

“Weren’t you advised to check the digital mind?” He reminded.

“I was about to get to that, actually.” Red answered.

Red placed the screwdriver back into the toolbox and turned Colin around. As told by both Pillars and the instruction manual scans, there were three buttons- a red one, a green one, and a blue one- and a knob beside it, among other things. As instructed, Red held down the three buttons simultaneously and waited.

One… Two… Three… Four… Five… Six!

He then gently turned the knob beside the buttons until a loud click broke the silence. A small compartment had ejected itself slightly from the back of Colin. Red carefully pulled out a box-shaped cartridge about the size of the palm of his hand. It felt… Sticky. When Red turned the cartridge over to investigate, he found traces of dark crimson residue built up on the underside. He sighed as he thought about how he’d have to clean that too, but in the meantime he needed to check what was inside the cartridge. Without wasting any more time, Red opened up the cartridge, and he and Crowe peered inside.

What they saw was not what they expected. Inside the cartridge was a small piece of brain-like matter covered in crimson slime. It had broken, frayed wires protruding from it and a cluster of off-colour boil-like growths on the front of it.

“Oh, that’s… Something.” Crowe remarked uneasily. “Well, you know what Pillars said, you ought to put that back. All this exposure won’t do it any good.”

“Hang on, can you take a photo of it with the laptop first?” Red asked. “I’m not sure if this is right, I should really show it to Pillars and ask for their opinion.”

He had reason to feel that something wasn’t right, too. The digital mind he held looked nothing like the one depicted in the instruction manual scans. Even if the one in the manual was only a stylised interpretation, it looked a lot less off than Colin’s.

Red held the open digital mind cartridge in front of the laptop’s webcam as Crowe took a photo. Then the cartridge was closed and Red began to clean that build-up off the bottom of it.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Thanks for the manual scans, they helped a lot. Pillars, I’ve cleaned Colin out and I took a look at his digital mind. I attached a photo of what I saw. I get the feeling something’s a bit off about it, but that could be just to do with age. Do you think that might be why Colin acted aggressively? When we found him he was singing, but he interrupted a lot and wasn’t a good listener. He kept asking a load of really irrelevant questions and completely flipped out when I hit his keyboard. There was also some stuff involving warped reality, existential crises, and my head exploding, but I won’t go into detail. Anyway, I thought I’d make sure you knew fully of Colin’s condition before we negotiated a selling price.

-Red

…Oh boy. Redmond, that digital mind is an absolute wreck. Now, I’d expected the Computery Guys’ digital minds to deteriorate over time, but this looks like more than time-related deterioration. Looking at this photo you sent me, I wonder if Colin’s previous owner took Colin’s digital mind out of its cartridge, poked it with their unwashed fingers, threw it at a wall, and spat on it. Heck, that wouldn’t explain half of what I’m seeing.

Redmond, don’t even put that back into Colin. If you already have, consider taking it out and throwing it out. Heck, if I were you I might even burn it. Yikes, it’s no wonder he was acting up.

Well seeing as though the digital mind is a no-go, there won’t be any way for me to fully repair Colin. No big deal, though, as long as I have the rest of him in my collection I’ll be happy enough. What a shame though, with proper maintenance Colin could still be functioning today. There’s no way of getting a replacement digital mind now. Smart Boy industries apparently offered replacements at the time, though.

Also, I ought to mention that I’ll be gone for a week. My birthday’s coming up and I’m going on a little holiday with some family, so I won’t be able to keep in contact after today. Until then, all the best to you and your friends!

-Mx. Cloudfoot

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Even though it was of no loss to him, Red couldn't help but feel somewhat disappointed by the turn of events. It did seem like quite a shame that he had to give his online acquaintance a dead computer that could never be fully repaired, even if they were happy to accept it. Still, anything to get Colin off his hands and out of the house was good enough. Not that Colin had been a threat in the slightest since he stopped functioning, mind you. All Red and his friends could do until Pillars returned to the web was wait.

Red tapped his foot lightly to an imaginary rhythm as he channel-surfed from his green armchair. Crowe was outside with Donnie lighting a bonfire in the backyard, so they could 'properly dispose of' Colin's old digital mind. Red wondered if perhaps he should’ve be out there with them, making sure they didn't burn down the yard and half the countryside with it, but Crowe insisted he had everything under control. As Red contemplated the current situation, he gave a heavy sigh. Not a saddened or frustrated sigh, but an 'oh well, what'll one do about it' sigh.

“Are you okay, Red?” A voice suddenly spoke, startling Red.

Donnie must have heard the sigh, as he now stood at the other side of the living room with his head tilted in curiosity. Red hadn't even heard him re-enter the house.

“Yeah.” Red replied with a shrug. “It's just a bit of a shame we don't have a digital mind for Colin, that's all.”

Donnie couldn't quite comprehend why Red would want to but a brain back into that nasty broken computer. Colin was far better off without one! Without a digital mind he couldn't frighten anyone or ask too many strange questions. However, the boy had trust in his friends above all else, so Red surely had a good reason for what he wanted.

“Why don't you just get another one?” Donnie asked innocently.

“They stopped making ‘Computery Guys’ a long, long time ago.” Red explained, scratching his head. “Back then Smart Boy Industries probably had replacements, but there's no reason for them to still have any if no-one's using Computery Guys anymore.”

Donnie nodded in acceptance of the explanation, but his brow was scrunched up in doubt as he pondered it. People were still using the Computery Guy! He and his friends were, at least. What reason did Smart Boy Industries have to not keep the replacement digital minds around, just in case?

“Anyway, how's the bonfire going?” Red asked, interrupting Donnie's train of thought.

“Good!” The boy replied. “But I think Crowe needs your help. He's having trouble getting the computer brain to melt like it should.”

Red switched off the television and stood up from his armchair, figuring whatever was going on out there was probably much more entertaining than the re-run rubbish being passed off as television. Watching the tall, hairy figure leave the living room, Donnie thought of a plan. A rather simple one, but a plan that wouldn't hurt to try- Though there was the risk of losing his pocket money for nothing.

Donnie tore a piece of paper out of one of his empty scrapbooks and grabbed a green crayon. He thought for a moment about what to write, before putting the crayon to the paper and beginning his message.

Dear smart boy industrees

My name is Donnie and me and my friends have a computer guy. his name is Colin. his brain was broken and he needs a new one. May we please have a new computer brain for Colin?

From Donnie Gribbleston

The boy held up his letter and looked over it with a smile and a nod. He was sure this would do just fine, he just needed to figure out where to send it. 'Smart Boy Industries', he'd heard Red and Crowe mention a few times. Where had Donnie heard that name before, or rather, seen it? The printer, of course! The games room printer had 'Smart Boy Industries' written on the label on the back of it. He'd discovered that when he'd accidentally locked himself in the games room several months back and needed something to pass the time. He'd spent hours investigating the room's most easily overlooked details, before realising the games room door didn't even have a lock.

However, despite his naivety and childlike foolishness, Donnie could be quite clever when he needed to be. After fixing a spelling error in his letter, he took the unoccupied laptop from the living room and opened it up. Searching up 'Smart Boy Industries' wielded a variety of results, such as the company's sketchy history, the range of products they didn't offer, and about a dozen product recall articles. One result, however, was the one Donnie was looking for. It was the company's website, and on it was a list of operating locations. Taking a note of the address of the nearest location, he closed up his work and put the laptop back in its resting spot before continuing with his plan. After shoving the creased scrapbook paper and a pocketful of pocket money into an empty envelope, the boy scrawled the address, along with his own, onto the back of it and headed outside.

Crowe poked impatiently at the cartridge with a stick as flames flared up around it. Nasty crimson goo leaked from it, producing a horrible smell in the heat of the bonfire.

“It just won't burn!” The duck growled, smacking the offending object repeatedly with the stick in frustration.

“It's been in there for too long.” Red replied casually. “Maybe we should just call it quits and bury it, or throw it into the ocean.”

Just then, Donnie walked by with his bicycle, but his two friends didn't pay him too much mind.

“I'm just going to go post something.” He stated. “I'll be back soon!”

Red nodded and continued watching Crowe roll the digital mind around in the bonfire, inspecting it for any signs of fire damage.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A few days later, a package arrived at the friends' front door. It was fairly small and had arrived entirely unexpected to Crowe, who had found it on the doormat. He cautiously picked it up in his feathered hands and inspected it, wondering what could possibly be inside, and from whom it had come. When he found the name of the sender, his eyes widened in a mixture of surprise and mild fear.

“Red?” Crowe called out. “Red, I think you should see this!”

Sensing a slight urgency in his friend's tone, Red made it to the front door fairly quickly, where he saw the duck holding a small package in his hands.

“Oh, who's it from?” Red asked, unperturbed.

“Smart Boy Industries!” Crowe replied.

Now Red could see why the duck seemed a little bit worried. Red had only recently been involved with anything relating to the company, and he wouldn't have thought they had even known about it, let alone cared. Perhaps they had caught wind of the attempted revival of perhaps the last remaining Computery Guy, and it was enough to elicit a response from them. He just hoped this package wasn't a bomb, or anything else malicious. Stranger still was who, specifically, the package was addressed to.

“Donnie?” Red called out.

“Yeah?” The child's voice called back from another room in the house.

“There's something here addressed to you, some sort of package. What have you been doing?”

There was no verbal answer from Donnie, only the quick pattering of footsteps as he hurried over to the scene. When he saw the package, his face lit up with excitement.

“It worked!” He exclaimed. “It’s here!”

“What’s here?” Crowe asked sternly. “You haven’t been using Red’s credit card again, have you?”

Donnie snatched the package from Crowe’s hands and tore it open before the duck could protest. From the tightly-wrapped cardboard box he produced a styrofoam casing, and from the styrofoam casing he pulled out a very familiar-looking beige cartridge.

“Wait, is that…?” Red asked, his eyes wide in disbelief. “I thought we threw that into the ocean.”

“No, it’s a new one!” Donnie corrected.

“What?” Crowe squawked. “How did you get Smart Boy Industries to mail you a digital mind?!”

“I asked nicely.” Donnie replied with an innocent smile. “And I gave them my pocket money.”

“Never mind that.” Red spoke. “I just want to know if they actually sent us the real thing, or they’re just humouring us.”

The games room door gently creaked open, revealing the somewhat familiar scene of Colin’s lifeless form resting upon the table. As lifeless as he was, that mild aura of unease remained. Red approached the computer with the cartridge in his hands, but hesitated to insert it. The cartridge looked just like the one he had pulled out of Colin several days back, but it seemed so much… Cleaner. There were no leaks or sticky residue. With noticeable apprehension, Red gently pulled the lid of the cartridge open, allowing himself and his friends to peer inside.

The contents of the cartridge were very different to what they had seen before. While Colin’s digital mind had been a mess of wires, boils, and mysterious fluids, this one was clean. It was simply a small pink brain-like mass wrapped in a teal wireframe. It was a real digital mind, just like the one Red had seen in those instruction manuals.

Red clicked the cartridge shut again, heeding Pillars Cloudfoot’s advice not to expose it for too long. Without another word, he inserted it into the back of Colin, where the previous digital mind had once resided, and turned to his friends.

“Well, I guess Pillars will be happy to hear that we-“

In the middle of the sentence, Colin abruptly began emitting a cheery chiptune song that nearly startled the three friends out of their skins. Red jumped back from the table, fearing the computer would grow aggressive once again.

However, once the cheery tune ended, Colin did not yell, or even speak. He opened and closed his eyes and mouth a few times, lifting his cord-like limbs and then resting them at his sides. His eyes shifted back and forth, observing the surroundings, before resting on Red and his friends.

“Hello!” Colin greeted. “Thank you for choosing the Smart Boy Industries Computery Guy. My name is Colin, and I will be your guide into the digital world, a place of information and fun for the whole family! Before we begin, please enter your name. Then I will tell you some more about myself, and we can continue your registration of the Smart Boy Industries Computery Guy.”

Red, Donnie, and Crowe exchanged frightened glances. They hadn’t expected Colin to come to life again! Though they hadn’t expected him to reset, either. The computer that had once loathed and terrorised them was now happily introducing himself like a new acquaintance.

“Redmond Spaghett.” Red answered nervously.

“Hello, Edmond Spaghetti!” Colin greeted. “Is this name correct?”

“Wait, wh- No. It’s not.”

“Please repeat your name, or use my keyboard to type it in.” Colin suggested, pointing his blocky hand at the keyboard rested in front of him.

Red reached forward, hovering his furry hand over Colin’s colourful keys. The computer’s eyes were locked onto the hand, watching, waiting for him to begin typing. Red, however, decided not to risk it. Colin might have been reset, but he wasn’t ready to trust him again just yet.

“Redmond Great News Spaghett.” Red repeated clearly.

“Hello Edward Great News Smith!” Colin greeted again. “Is this name correct?”

“Yeah, Cloudfoot’s going to have a riot with this one.” Red muttered, turning to his friends.

“Great! Would you like to save this information before we continue, Mr Smith?” Colin asked.

Red shook his head and sighed at Colin’s misinterpretation of his words. He thought about responding once again, but he stopped himself, seeming lost in thought. After a lengthy moment of contemplation, Red spoke again.

“Actually, you don’t belong to me, or ‘Edward Smith’.” Red stated, reaching his arm around to the back of Colin

“I’m sorry, I do not understand.” Colin responded. “Please repeat your response, yes or no, or type ‘yes’ or ‘no’ with my keyb-“

Colin’s arms fell limp and his eyelids shut as Red pressed his power button. Now the computer was just as lifeless as he had been mere minutes ago, but functional.

Crowe watched skeptically as Red slowly and shakily lowered Colin into the large cardboard box.

“I don’t understand.” The bird stated, scratching his head. “Mx. Cloudfoot would’ve paid goodness knows how much money for this… Thing, and you’re simply going to give it to them?”

“Yeah.” Red responded bluntly. “For good karma. Maybe if we do something kind we’ll get some peace from the you-know-what for a while. That, and I don’t want to wait for Pillars to get back, then go through all the price negotiations and whatever, to get rid of Colin.”

Crowe folded his arms and rolled his eyes as Donnie rocked back and forth restlessly beside him.

“I guess it’ll be a birthday present for them.” Red continued, filling the empty space around the computer with styrofoam beads. “I might throw a few birthday candles into the box too. Anyway, this has all just gotten too strange for me. I wanna get it over and done with, payment or no payment. For all I know Colin could still be, well, Colin, and I’m not the kind of person who makes people pay for things that are out to cause pain. Unlike whoever sold us that clock in the living room.”

Red sealed the box up and began labelling it with the address given on Pillars Cloudfoot’s website. As Donnie grew bored and left the room, Crowe hung his head somewhat dejectedly.

“You know what, Red?” He began with a sigh. “I think I might miss the old Colin a little. Sure, he may have been aggressive and incoherent at times, but he had personality, and that’s not something one gets from computers very often.”

Red finished packing and labelling the computer and turned to face the duck.

“Shut up, Crowe.”

#dhmis #don't hug me i'm scared #colin the computer #dhmis colin #dhmis fanfic

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vivienwise · 5 years

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Impressions in the Land | Part 2

Last semester I looked at a lineage of women using their bodies in the land. I compared the way these women use their bodies, how their backgrounds and methodologies change the work, and how viewers can relate to them. How does blending in to one’s environment speak to the way we negotiate our identities in and through space? What is the relation between self and environment? How do technological extensions of the self enable and disable relationships with the environment? In this post I will trace my trajectory from studying these artists to my own experimentation with digital technology in an effort to answer these questions.

Ana Mendieta

By looking back to ancient and aboriginal cultures, Ana Mendieta embraced a worldview that placed humanity not above, separate from, or in control of nature, but as a part of it. Mendieta’s exploration related directly to her own experience and to her overriding desire to ground herself in place, time, and history.

As she says, “I have been carrying on a dialogue between the landscape and the female body. I believe this to be a direct result of my having been torn away from my homeland during my adolescence. I am overwhelmed by the feeling of my having been cast out of the womb. My art is the way I reestablish the bonds that tie me to the universe.”

When Mendieta began her Silueta Series in the 1970s, she was one of many beginning to work in the emerging genres of land art, body art, and performance art. She combined the three in what she called earth-body sculptures. Her purpose and interest were rooted in nature’s symbolic meaning; Mendieta wanted to fuse with the land, not aggressively scar it. Mendieta often used her naked body to explore and connect with the Earth. She carved and shaped her own figure into the earth to leave haunting traces of her body made from grass, sand, dirt, flowers, tree branches, gunpowder and fire.

Rebecca Belmore

An interdisciplinary indigenous Canadian artist, Rebecca Belmore’s work focuses on issues of place and identity in the context of Indigenous people. Belmore’s work reminds us that the notion of intertwining self and world pre-dates the modern ecology movement. This idea has been central to Indigenous approaches to land for thousands of years.

In the early 90s, Belmore created Ayum-ee-aawach Oomama-mowan: Speaking to Their Mother, a project in which she travelled across the country with an intricately crafted, giant megaphone and invited Indigenous participants to use the megaphone to speak to the land and acknowledge their relationship to it.

The megaphone operated as a performance, a sculptural object, and a functional tool, “reaffirming the historical stewardship of the land and underlining the power and importance of voice”. There is a reciprocity of self and site that honors rather than collapses cultural difference. In the case of this project, the intertwining of self and world has been done acoustically. Viewers are invited to listen to the land while also recalling that the land is an audience, one that is listening.

In my own work, I am thinking about care and how it connects my body to the land. I am being cared for by the land, how can I reciprocate that? The idea behind this project came from asking myself how I find “topographical intimacy: (a term coined by Lucy Lippard*). What does it mean to find intimacy within a landscape? How can I connect to the land? The mountains are a place with which I feel connected, grounded. This led me to considering a sort of self portrait within the land, an intimate embedding of myself within a topography. What would it be like if I could lie down amongst these bodies of land, like lying in tall grass but at a different and impossible scale? Is the topography of my body that different from the topography of these mountain bodies?

Experimentation

After spending the fall semester of my externship working on one large project in response to that research, I decided to spend the spring in a far more experimental stage, trying to learn and play on a few different tools in the DSC. I want to see what digital tools can be useful to me and dip my toes into a few more things!

Maybe one of my favorite digital tools to use is the Structure 3D Scanner. I scanned myself and a friend, as well as some interesting landscapes in Utah.

I then used those 3D scans to do some more experimentation on the 3D printers – printing with resin for the first time as well as ceramic on the Form2.

The DSC recently got a small CNC (Computer Numerical Control) router which I have been excited to try out. The best way I can describe its function is a drill bit attached to a computer. As a fiber artist, my inclination is to work with soft things. I wanted to see if I could cut models out of a soft foam to create some cushion/pillow/forms. My first problem was that the CNC does not cut soft things. But! If you freeze foam in water, it is then a solid. So now I am working on cutting some mountains out of soft foam.

At this point I’m interested to see what the larger role of digital technology will have in my work and how it intersects with the traditional craft processes I’m more accustomed to using. The artists I’ve been looking at are directly engaging with the land and here I am sitting in the basement of a university library in the middle of a city.

I am hoping that using technology will help me to get at this compulsion to connect my body to the land, to satisfy the urge to leave a trace of myself in the landscape. While I live in Philadelphia, there is something that makes the mountains more accessible via digital tools. I can access these spaces that would otherwise be challenging for me to get at, and explore my interaction with these land bodies at a scale this not possible in the real world.

*Lippard, Lucy R. The Lure of the Local: Senses of Place in a Multicentered Society. New York: New Press, 1997.

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barmcakemag · 3 years

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Halifax Festival of Words talk

This is the talk I gave at the Halifax Festival of Words. It took place in the front room of the Grayston Unity bar (pictured below) last month, just before publication of Barmcake 9. Some of the posters from the talk are also pictured below. Thanks to the festival and bar for having me.

I love this front room.

It sort of reminds me of being a kid, at my grandparents, on Boxing Day.

Some of the family used to get up and do a turn – a song, a sketch, a tune.

Among the aunties and uncles was my Great Aunty Mary, who was great in all respects. She was very funny, wrote poetry – and was the spitting image of Hylda Baker, (poster below), who I’ll be coming to later.

I didn’t have an uncle like Lou Reed – fortunately.

That would have made Christmas a bit tense.

‘Uncle Lou, you’ve spilt heroin on your roast potatoes again.’

Anyway, I’ll be coming on to the Velvet Underground later as well.

So, I’m Dave Griffiths and I make Barmcake.

The magazine started in April 2014 and the new edition – issue 9 – is out next week.

There are usually two editions a year. I only brought one out last year because I was busy with my other work – I’m a freelance writer, editor, proofreader and journalism tutor.

Barmcake is available free in about 45 venues in West Yorkshire, Greater Manchester, Sheffield, and North Derbyshire. You can also obtain copies by post, if you send a donation.

I write all – or all but one or two – of the articles in each edition. I also design the magazine, edit it, find the advertising, sort the fundraising, promote it, and deliver it.

This afternoon I’m going to be telling you why I make a print magazine in the digital age.

And why I make this particular magazine, which I believe is different from anything else out there.

(I know it’s definitely the only one that offers northern entertainment for the middle-aged.)

I’ll also tell you how I make an issue from scratch.

There are high points about making Barmcake – interviewing people like John Cooper Clarke, Viv Albertine, and Ken Dodd.

But there are perils about making a magazine on your own – for example when my computer packed in a week or so before deadline for issue 8 and I had redo the pages from scratch

I’ll also tell you about the money side of things.

I’m happy to take any questions at the end. Although don’t ask me anything about maths. The square of the hypotenuse is worth two in the bush, or whatever.

I’ve been a journalist since 1989.

I’ve worked for all the ridiculously-named weekly newspapers – the Congleton Chronicle, the Biddulph Chronicle, the Ormskirk Advertiser, the Wigan Observer.

I’ve never been a Woodward and Bernstein-type journalist. I used to love doing golden wedding anniversary interviews – finding out about people’s lives. (The secret for most couples is: ‘Never go to bed on an argument’).

I moved to London in the mid-90s and became a sub-editor. Then I came back up north to Leeds to work for PA New Media’s Ananova website as a sub and writer. It was a really exciting time to be part of a new national media organisation.

At that point the digital world seem to offer limitless possibilities – a chance to hear fresh voices and cover things that didn’t get much attention on a national platform

But as it went on – on Ananova and elsewhere – the choice of topics became narrower and the coverage shallower.

It felt like a missed opportunity and after a few years, I left to become a sub on the Manchester Evening News print edition.

That disillusionment with the digital world fed into the creation of Barmcake. I even stopped doing my own blog, which is a sort of forerunner of the magazine.

I feel websites lack the personal touch of magazines and newspapers. Each edition of Barmcake is yours to hold, to savour, to read how you want. It’s not borrowed on a screen in a clutter of links and dowdy, keyword-heavy headlines.

Print is more personal.

I was reminded of that a few years ago when I was flicking through a paper, turned the page and there was a two-page picture spread of the inside of a doll’s house – with fantastic detail of each room

Now, if that had been a website link – say ‘See the amazing doll’s house, click here’ – I probably wouldn’t have looked at it.

But the photo, text and design on the printed edition stopped me in my tracks.

And it was me who chose to stop and look at it, not a website trying to guide me

Of course, I can’t do Barmcake without digital media.

I can get instant access to performers and venues via their websites and email addresses.

And Twitter is a great promotional tool.

Even the front page of each Barmcake is partially designed that way so it looks good on Twitter.

Crucially, it’s how you use all that information available on the internet.

And I think many websites, magazines and newspapers aren’t making the most of it. They are picking from the same narrow pool of stories.

Meanwhile arts coverage in regional newspapers – with a few notable exceptions – is not as good as it used to be.

Some newspaper bosses are so pleased they can offer the same size newspapers as 10 years ago with half the staff, they forget about the quality of the editorial content.

When I look at some of the free lifestyle magazines in shops and pubs, the editorial content seems to be a shoddy afterthought.

And some website and magazine interviews are written by people who don’t appear to know anything about their interviewees, beyond what the PR company has told them

So that’s another reason why I started Barmcake – I want the articles to be the top priority.

I don’t stint on research and writing and rewriting.

For a two-page article in issue 8, for example, I read four books and endlessly wrote and rewrote the article.

They were four books about The Fall so it wasn’t the worst thing ever.

Hashtag firstworldindieproblems

Pete Wylie was another reason I started Barmcake.

I read he was crowdfunding to make a new LP which to me was huge news.

But I couldn’t find much about it in magazines, newspapers and websites.

Now I’ve got Northern entertainment for the middle-aged in my strapline.

But I hate some middle-aged people’s attitudes to new bands, the sort of people who say: ‘Well, of course, they sound a bit like the Velvet Underground but they are not as good as them – and I speak as someone who has a 23-minute out-take of John Cale whittling a spoon.’

But having said that, there are artistes aged 40 and upwards – like Pete Wylie – whose work is either being ignored or under-appreciated, while some fairly dull, conservative, twentysomething bands are lauded to the hilt, merely because of their age.

I also felt audiences aged 40 and over were being ignored by many websites and magazines – the sort of people, for example, who might live in West Yorkshire but travel to gigs or comedy shows in Sheffield and Manchester (hence my circulation area).

People who like a nice real ale pub, a good book and trips to theatres and galleries.

Those were the subjects I wanted to write about.

Plus I wanted to provide a decent listings service.

I used to love looking at City Life and Time Out and picking out gigs I wanted to see.

Can you do that on the internet? Not really, unless you want to wade through lists of venues or dates of gigs.

Barmcake is also a reaction against magazine shops like Magma and websites like Stack and Magculture.

They only consider design-led, rather than text-led, magazines (spoof trendy mag, above).

Their view, unfortunately, seems to dominate the indie-mag culture.

The Magma magazines are beautiful, for sure, but slightly formulaic – lots of photos, lots of white space.

Some of the articles can be slightly sterile and desperately in need of an edit.

I was brought up on 80s NME and Sounds with writers like Steven ‘Seething’ Wells and his hectic, hectoring, hilarious prose, which is completely at odds with something you’d read in, say, Monocle.

Word magazine and Forty-20, a rugby league magazine, are other influences as they put – or did put in the case of Word – witty text first, before the design.

So a year before I left the MEN, I was thinking about going freelance and starting a magazine.

I went on a Guardian course about how to make one.

I wanted to know if I could make a magazine on my laptop and how much it would cost.

But the course wasn’t particularly helpful about either the basics of making a magazine or the money side of it.

And I realised I had a lot to learn when I went to a printer in Manchester after I went freelance.

I wanted someone to guide me about the basics of the printing process.

At the MEN, you simply had to press a button to send it to the printers. The page sizes, colours, etc were all set up for you.

So I came bounding into the shop, all enthusiastic, to be met by this spectacularly miserable bloke.

I said: ‘I’m going to make my own magazine and I was just wondering what I need to do.’

He said: ‘How many pages?’

‘Er..I don’t know, about 35.’

Shakes head: ‘You can’t have that number. What type of paper do you want?’

‘Er…I don’t know, just standard magazine paper.’

‘What sort of paper do you want for the front?’

‘Er…I don’t know.’

‘Do you want colour or black or white?

‘A mix of colour and black and white.’

‘Which pages are colour?’

‘I don’t know yet.’

I left the shop with my tail between my legs; my hopes not exactly crushed but dented.

Fortunately, I discovered the Footprint Workers Co-operative in Leeds who were very helpful and answered all my daft questions with patience.

I can definitely recommend them if you are starting your own magazine or fanzine.

So I had an idea of what I was going to cover (music, comedy, pubs, theatre, books. film, art).

I had an idea of how I was going to write it (make the writing as good as it can be, keep the articles short)

I wanted to target an over 40s audience living in and around Leeds, Sheffield and Manchester, (although I don’t mind who reads it -– I’m not going to tell a youth with a fashionable beard to ‘put the Barmcake down sunshine’)

I wanted to keep the design simple and retro (the headlines are meant to look like 70s sitcom credits).

And I wanted to make it as cheaply as possible – so I would do all or most of the writing, as I couldn’t pay anyone else, and I would deliver it.

I found a free design program (called Scribus) and I only use publicity photos or photos that I take myself.

I don’t charge for Barmcake because I want to get the magazines in the sorts of pubs, cafes and independent shops where people like to read books, newspapers and magazines.

In these sorts of places, most of the other magazines and newspapers are free.

Keeping it free also means less hassle for the owners of the pubs and cafes – no separate pots of money to keep etc.

I wanted a funny northern word for the title and Barmcake fits the bill.

There’s also the ‘You starting a print magazine in the internet age? You Barmcake!’

‘Northern entertainment for the middle-aged’ gives some idea of what the magazine’s about, but it is not entirely serious.

I don’t want to go down the professional northerner route:

(Hovis voice):‘Eeeeeeeh, we’re all right friendly in t’ north.

‘London? They never speak to anyone.’

I’m always up for challenging northernness, because let’s face it – some of the world’s most miserable people are in Yorkshire!

I also didn’t want to get stuck in a straight, white, indie, male, middle-aged rut where The Smiths, The Fall or Half Man Half Biscuit can never be criticised.

And where it would be blasphemous to suggest that Temptation by Heaven 17 is better than Temptation by New Order.

Barmcake is A5 because I wanted something that people can fit in their pocket or bag when they are out and about and it only costs a first class stamp to post a copy.

Apart from postage, my other costs are printing and petrol.

So I need to find about £850 for each issue.

Initially I used some of my voluntary redundancy money from the MEN and money from my other work to pay for the magazine.

I started seeking advertising from issue 2 onwards.

My advertising revenue has gone up from £60 in issue 2 to £630 in issue 8.

It will be more than that in the new edition.

I feel that if you give people something to read, then they don’t just flick through the magazine and so they are more likely to see the adverts.

I am pleased that plan appears to be paying off.

But, it’s tricky balancing the amount of time you spend on editorial and advertising.

On some issues, I’ve left the advertising a little too late because I wanted to get the editorial right.

But, if I spend too much time on the advertising, I may get more ads in the short term, but I won’t keep the advertisers in the long term as the quality of the magazine will drop.

I set up a Paypal account for donations, which you can access via my website, and that brings in between £150 and £200 per issue, so I was more or less able to cover my costs for the first time for issue 8.

I also sent some copies to Australia for the first last time.

However I’d like to bring in more money through donations.

So I’ll go through how the magazine has developed over the years.

Here are some bits from Issue 1 (above).

That issue had interviews with Cud, the Wedding Present, the director of a Frank Sidebottom doc, and the Revolutions Brewing Company owners, among others.

Features included Maxine Peake, a pub crawl on the Tour de France Yorkshire route, and Alan Bennett.

I did ask for interviews with Maxine and Alan.

With Alan, Faber and Faber gave a curious response – not no, but: (Alan Bennett voice): ‘Mr Bennett is aware of your interest.’

(I like to think everyone at Faber speaks with an Alan Bennett accent).

I was hoping perhaps that they were giving him potential material for his diary.

That would be the dream for me: (Alan Bennett voice): ‘I used to be contacted by the Guardian, but now it’s only bread-related magazines.’

In general I find about 75% of people I contact agree to interviews.

I was excited to get the first issue out.

There were 1,000 copies for that, it’s been 1,500 copies from issue 2 onwards

There was a good response to Barmcake 1 – the title, strapline and the front cover probably made the biggest impact.

But in hindsight I felt the interviews were too short and there were too many, fairly ordinary, one-page previews.

I addressed those issues for Barmcake 2 by making most of the interviews two or three pages long and sticking about 6-7 previews on two pages at the back – and that’s been the format ever since.

So issue 2 (above) had interviews with Viv Albertine, Pete Wylie, Age of Chance, Steve Huison, among others.

My friend Richard wrote about why Otley is better than Prague for beer.

He has also done Bluetones and Skids interviews in other issues.

My friend Roshi has written about David Bowie and Count Arthur Strong.

And Prue, my wife, has interviewed Bryony Lavery and done a piece on the theatre company she co-founded – Root and Branch Productions (more northern entertainment for the middle-aged).

I’ve only used one feature from a writer I didn’t know as I want to be in a position to pay people for their work.

Viv Albertine was one of my most important interviews I’ve done for Barmcake.

It’s one of the most popular pieces with readers and it encouraged other artistes to get in touch.

I thought her book was one of the best memoirs/autobiographies I’d read, yet many of the reviews concentrated on the Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious anecdotes and didn’t focus enough on her fascinating life.

She answered my questions within a day (some people take nearly 2 months) and I was really chuffed she’d taken the trouble to give such interesting answers.

For example I asked her: Was punk the only time she’d come across so many strong and interesting characters?

She said: “God no. Those people weren’t that strong and interesting. Vivienne Westwood was.

“We were all very flawed. But at least we didn’t hide our flaws, we flaunted them.

“I would say it was the only time in my life when you were allowed to be yourself, not smiling and saying thank you all the time.

“Not greasing the wheels and aspiring and careerist.”

The Ken Dodd interview, from issue 5, in 2016 was also a highlight.

Here’s an extract:

He was fizzing with jokes and anecdotes.

When I mentioned I was from Huddersfield, he immediately recited a limerick about the town involving udders.

He told me an interviewer once asked if Dodd was his real name and he told him it was an anagram.

While I took that in, he’s onto the next joke.

I was also fascinated with how works an audience.

He said: “You play an audience like a musician plays his instrument.

“You know where the hotspots are, you know where you’ve got to work hard on them when they’re a bit stubborn, you know where to flirt with them, where to encourage them, and where to take it easy.

“You put little ad libs in, little asides, go faster, slower, louder, quieter, take it easy.”

So it was great to interview Ken and it was great to interview John Cooper Clarke for the same issue.

The interview was difficult to set up but turned out well.

I was meant to be interviewing him at a gig in Buxton but my car broke down and I couldn’t get to the gig in time on the train.

The angle I went on was his accent – whether it was the most important thing about his work and whether living in Essex for 25 odd years had affected it.

Here’s an extract:

“Accent? I don’t think it’s at all important. It’s what the work contains.

“I don’t think the accent’s got anything to do with it.

“I think vocal quality might have something to do with it, as in musicality.

“Listening to my old stuff it sounds like I’ve got a problem with my adenoids, and it can’t be that because I had my adenoids removed when I was about eight-years-old.

“To be honest, I think my voice is better than it’s ever been.

“But that’s not because of the accent, it’s because of the sonorous baritone quality.”

And of course, I can’t think of anyone else who says ‘sonorous baritone quality’ quite like John Cooper Clarke – stretching the vowels and punctuating the words so they got a real rhythm., He makes run-of the mill words sound magnificent.

Issue 3, (above), had interviews with, among others, John Shuttleworth, John Bramwell, O’Hooley and Tidow, the organiser of the Glossop Record Club, and Professor Paul Salveson, who talked about railways and northern regionalism.

The latter is an example how I’ve occasionally moved away from my core subjects as I think it would interest readers.

In issue 7 I interviewed the marvellous Beers Manchester blogger who wrote about dealing with grief after his son died.

And in issue 8 I talked to Rosie Wilby who has written a really interesting book about monogamy.

One of the things I’ve enjoyed about Barmcake is finding out about wonderful artistes I didn’t know much about, like O’Hooley and Tidow, and looking into topics I’ve not really thought about much, such as non-monogamous relationships – and record clubs.

Glossop Record Club was the first of the groups or people I featured from Twitter.

I noticed the people who started following me were doing some interesting and unusual stuff.

In other issues I’ve done features on 8bitnorthxstitch, (pictured below) who makes fabulous cross-stitch creations of bands such as The Fall and TV shows such as Coronation Street

There’s Beer Mat Movies, who writes film reviews on beer mats

And Jennifer Reid, or as she calls herself, the pre-eminent broadside balladress of the Manchester region.

In Issue 4, I decided to make a few tweaks to the structure with a picture-led centrespread and a bigger listings section.

I don’t want the magazine to date so my listings look up to four months ahead.

The listings are usually the first and last thing I do in the magazine.

I look at every gig venue, theatre, and gallery website in my circulation area, looking for potential star interviews, cover stars and centrespreads.

I listen to bands I’ve not heard of before who are playing at these venues.

Artistes are also contacting me now and I use three or four stories an issue from them

Once I get two or three big interviews, the rest of the magazine falls into place.

I feel it’s a bit like organising a festival – you need headliners plus strong supporting acts.

And once I get the headliners, I start looking for advertisers.

I have a mix of regular and new advertisers.

I then ask all my stockists, I ask local brewers and some businesses who follow me on Twitter.

Most of my interviews are by email, the rest are phone interviews although I did one face-to-face chat with Martin Parr.

There is always a mad panic at the end of each issue , either because of a missing interview or ad, but all you can do is politely grovel with people to please, please, please in send the material.

As it’s just me making the magazine, there are no back-up features, no IT team to deal with technical problems, such as converting pdfs to jpgs.

Fortunately I’ve always managed to fill an issue in the end.

Once I’ve written and rewritten my pieces, I go back and check everything – the original source material, fact checks, spell checks.

The issue is then proofread by Prue and then by one of our friends.

I don’t want a daft literal or incorrect name to undermine the magazine, especially as Barmcake takes about two months to do, on and off, between my other work.

My printer then gives me a final proof before it goes to press and I get it back within a week.

The new Barmcake is due out midweek next week.

I like to do a big reveal on the day of publication but I can tell you it is the biggest Barmcake ever, with 9 exclusive interviews, more than any before, and 5 features – including Hylda Baker.

It takes me four days to deliver the copies.

I cover an area bordered by Wigan, Ilkley and Sheffield.

The list of venues is on the website, although it will change slightly over the next few days. Venues ask to be stockists and readers also recommend places.

I keep about 300 copies back for people who want a copy in the post, and for friends and media people.

Then I do a Twitter promo campaign for about 2-3 weeks.

I only put one article per issue online and I only do that months after the issue comes out.

In February, I start on a new issue.

It will be the fifth anniversary issue and a chance to take stock.

Ideally I’d like to be making more money for it, getting regular sponsorship from a suitable partner, and in the long term looking to pay others to write.

But anyway, that’s the story of Barmcake.

I hope you have enjoyed it

#magazines journalism

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liskantope · 6 years

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So I just got back from another trip. This time, everything went very well until the journey back. I think I’ll relate the highlights of it here, as maybe it’s mildly entertaining and funny to look back at, but also it provides an example of what feels like evidence of the semi-inevitability of my screwing up which makes me associate travel with stress, topped off with an example of my issues with self-doubt over judging reasonable levels of generosity.

So I was traveling between countries entirely by bus -- in fact, my tickets each way were single (very long) trips with no connections. For the journey home, I woke myself up before 6am to depart at 7:30. I arrived sensibly early, but the bus never arrived at the platform. Adding to my worry, nobody else at the platform seemed to be taking my bus, although everyone I showed my ticket to nodded and said something along the lines of “yeah, you’re in the right place”. I did eventually notice a text indicating that my bus would be half an hour late, which is apparently pretty normal for Flixbus, but eventually it was almost two hours of waiting at the platform (afraid to leave it in case the bus did come when I was gone) and still nothing. I’ll skip over the details of the next half-hour, which consisted of a lot of running up and down stairs of the building with my suitcase, going between the information desk and the Flixbus desk (which seemed open but vacated) and calling the local Flixbus number (which began with a recorded message in the local language, followed by “For English, press 1″, then after pressing 1 another recording in the local language!).

The point is that I eventually learned I had missed the bus because I misunderstood the ticket in a way in which I should have known better, although I’m still thinking of complaining to Flixbus about their formatting. Namely, the ticket showed the actual platform number (an x0x 3-digit number) in very small writing that came out very light from my black-and-white work building printer, so that it’s almost illegible and certainly not very noticeable. Meanwhile, it also showed the connection number (also an x0x 3-digit number!) in normal-sized dark writing, and it so happened that this number happened to be the number of one of the main platforms in the bus station! It had registered me that “connection” probably referred to the route itself, but I had sort of in the back of my mind figured that maybe at this station each route always departed from the same gate (this is true of small airports that I’ve known, for instance).

So I screwed up, in a way that seemed obvious as soon as I saw my mistake but which didn’t occur to me at the time (it doesn’t help that sleep deprivation is always an issue for me when I travel, but this trip was especially bad with mostly 5-hour sleeps all week). And at least nobody else was affected by my mistake, and I’d have to pay some 40 Euros for a new ticket but I’m not broke, and I’d be badly delayed getting home but I didn’t have that many rigid obligations the next day. So, not a disaster in the grand scheme of things, but still, I screwed up for a dumb reason and now my trip was going to be more expensive and a lot less pleasant because of it. And I still feel like I do this kind of thing way too much.

So I’ll skim over a lot more running around and now getting very impatient (to the point of uncharacteristically raising my voice) with the ticket desk (which refused to actually sell tickets) and the Flixbus desk (where now for some reason the woman who had been doing currency exchange before was now working, it seemed?). The Flixbus desk flat-out wouldn’t accept cards, and I had most but not all of the cost of the new ticket in local currency, but luckily a woman in line behind me did a good deed and gave me the rest of the money. (I offered to buy her some refreshment at whatever cafe in the station accepted cards, which she firmly refused, but later I ran into her at one of the cafes where she’d gotten herself a coffee and she invited me to sit and pleasantly chat for most of an hour. Definitely the bright part of my day. Helps me keep in mind the importance of extending kindness to someone who seems to be having a rough day for sure!)

My new journey had a connection in the middle (this is the part that gets more comical rather than beating-myself-up angsty). Near the end of the first bus ride I badly wanted to wash my face. Here’s where I should mention that my face gets extremely oily very quickly -- it becomes noticeable to me only about 20 minutes after I wash it, but this had been hours. The little bathroom on the bus was nicely kept up, with soap and paper towels and a plastic faucet but no apparent way to make water flow through it. So once I got off the bus, my first priority was to find a cafe in the main square across from the bus station where I could buy something and then use the bathroom. At the cafe I found, they said they only took card if it was 5 Euros or more (remember I’d physically emptied my wallet on the new ticket), so I wound up gathering five small items including two bottles of water (I was super dehydrated as well). After paying, I went into their bathroom, only to find running water but no soap. So much for that.

So I wandered out into the center of the square, which was really a roundabout on the other side of which was the big train station where there would surely be a bathroom. I was squinting in the bright sun when something happened that’s happened a lot of times before when my face gets excessively greasy, but never this badly. Some of the oil started seeping into my eyes, which makes them very stingy. Closing my eyes tightly made a lot more of it get in, which got my tear ducts started, and the next thing I knew, copious tears were absolutely pouring down my face for about five minutes. Soon I was sniffling pretty badly as well, and I must have looked like I was crying uncontrollably. And I was in a hurry to get back into the train station, but doing that required crossing the street at a busy roundabout while mostly blind, so it took a while.

Skim over the next two hours of finding an ATM, finding a bathroom, having to backtrack to find where I’d left my water bottles that I still hadn’t had a chance to open, nearly an hour of somehow forgetting where the bus station was even though I’d just come out of there an hour ago and never left that plaza, and the next bus coming half an hour late. By the time I arrived back in the city where I live, it was 2am and all I could think of was how badly I wanted to be finally home in my comfortable bed. But two problems: (1) because of the lateness of the second bus I just missed the time when the metro closed, and as I lived on the other side of the city that meant I was going to spend the next hour going by one of the night buses (taxis are incredibly expensive here); and (2) the nice but eccentric Algerian man I’d been chatting with while waiting in the connection city apparently had a habit of traveling spontaneously without arranging for lodging and politely but desperately asked if he could stay at my place for the night.

Here’s where my whole instinct to be agreeable and generous kicked in, along with self-doubts about (1) is my instinct a product of actual empathy or just a sort of cowardice where I hate to say no to anyone even though the guy was being super polite and un-pressuring, or are both those feelings just two sides of the same coin with me; (2) am I being irresponsible and gullible and putting myself in danger just by considering this because I don’t have the imagination to consider a hundred ways it could go wrong*; or (3) am I being kind of a jerk and/or paranoid over nothing or maybe a little subconsciously racist/xenophobic since I happily offered to do something similar a couple of years ago for an American guy who seemed a little better put together; and all of this was underlied by a deep mental and physical exhaustion and internal freaking out over how unfit I felt to competently judge the situation anyway after almost 24 hours of being mostly awake.

(I suppose that wins the record for (Technically) Longest Run-On Sentence Ever Posted on Liskantope’s Tumblr.)

I was actually pretty transparent towards the guy about my misgivings but he seemed genuine enough and I did want to help him, so in the end my compromise was that I’d let him into my apartment building and briefly into my apartment to use the bathroom (I wound up encouraging him to take a quick shower as well), but then he would sleep outside on the balcony where far underneath the roof we keep a sofa, and I’d hope the neighbors wouldn’t notice and get pissed. It was the perfect, most pleasantly warm night for sleeping outside, and I lent him my extra set of sheets and pillows. He accepted all this really graciously and seemed to sleep well, then left in the morning while I was taking my shower. So I think that went okay and I’m glad I helped him and I only hope my visible reservations didn’t hurt his feelings too much. But it goes to show how my internal compass for making those kind of judgment calls is totally aimless -- I still feel absolutely no gut sense of whether that approach was reasonable or not. And such a gut sense would be good to have.

Anyway, that was my day. And this post was less a form of venting and more a product of the idle pleasure I get sometimes out of narrating mini-episodes of my life which are mostly already funny to revisit (and the crying in the middle of the roundabout bit felt kind of comical to me even while it was happening), but which do highlight a couple of ongoing personal issues I’m trying to work on.

* To be clear, I’m a man, and I fully realize that the equation would be quite different for a woman, and also quite different if the asking party were a woman; still, most adult men including this one could physically overpower me without much difficulty.

#personal #long story #traveling #skin problems #racism

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blackbird-brewster · 7 years

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Libraries are Magic!

Around age 10/11 I was diagnosed with ADHD. As long as I took my meds, I could focus in school and could continue my reading habits. But I was only on meds for a few years. I’m not really sure why the meds stopped, maybe my new GP didn’t agree with pumping a young child full of stimulants? I honestly have NO recollection of why my treatment stopped. But it did. So around age 14, I stopped reading regularly.

I would read the mandatory novels for school (maybe, mostly I used Spark Notes) and I would read one or two novels a YEAR for recreation. This continued into adulthood. The problem was, with untreated ADHD I had such a hard time following a book that I would just give up reading anything longer than a short story. It was SO frustrating as someone who had always loved reading.

The only way I could read a novel would be if I set aside the time to read it front to back in one sitting. Otherwise, if I read a chapter here and a chapter there, I would totally forget what was happening. This lead to re-reading the previous chapters over and over, which is not only time consuming but so infuriating. Reading became hyperfocus/all at once or zero focus/none at all.

Because of this, if I feel the urge to read I just re-read the same few books over and over time and again because I’m familiar enough with them that I can follow them if I read them over a longer period of time. (It’s like putting on your favorite movie in the background that you don’t actually have to pay attention to in order to enjoy)

Okay, enough of the tragic backstory. Let’s get to the plot...

Libraries are Magic.

A few days ago I needed to print some stuff and my flat mate’s printer stopped working. Rather than trekking into town to go to the office supply store (where I usually do my printing), I decided to wonder down the street to the library... Before this week, I could count the number of times I’ve been in a public library in the past twenty years on one hand. I haven’t had a library card since I was 9 years old. This was back when you had to look through the card catalog to find a book, it was a LONG time ago.

Because of my reading difficulties, I’ve had no use for public libraries. They give me anxiety. I haven’t actually finished a book in over FIVE years. I’ve started a few, but I never finish them. This is not something I am proud of. I feel shame for not being able to read and enjoy novels like I used to when I was a kid. I was always ahead in reading comprehension compared to other kids my age but I feel like now, I still have the reading comprehension of a 12 year old.

Now, Christchurch has a lot of libraries. The Christchurch City Library network consists of 22 libraries for a city with a population of 375,000. I mean, maybe other cities have this many? But I wouldn’t really know since I’ve never paid attention to them. That just seems like A LOT of libraries in one city!? And the thing is, they are AMAZING libraries.

I had previously been in about three of them around the city and they are all very modern looking. I remember thinking they seemed pretty nice but I was usually just there to use the computer for 5 minutes, so I never actually explored.

Last week I read [this post] about libraries and I realized how long it had been since I had REALLY explored a library. Libraries I remembered didn’t have any of these modern wonders people were writing about. I was pretty inspired by that post and so I decided to overcome my anxiety this week and get back into the library. Instead of just running in and out of the library to print what I needed, I decided to get a library card.

When I walked in, I timidly asked a woman at the help desk for assistance. I told her I wanted to get a library card and she took me over to another desk. Because of my anxiety regarding libraries, I had done extensive research on what I needed to get a library card -- so I was already prepared with my ID and proof of address. She had me fill out the membership form and she opened a drawer and asked me what colour I wanted. You get to pick a colour of library card! (I obviously got pink, seeing as it is the best colour) She registered my card in the system and wrote my name on it and handed it to me.

I guess she registered that I looked like a lost puppy because she asked if I knew about all the things my brand new card entitled me to. I admitted I hadn’t had a library card in nearly twenty years and she looked as if that was her absolute favorite thing to hear.

She pulled up the CCL website and walked me through EVERY part. I mean EVERY part. She showed me how to search the entire city catalog online, how to places holds (if you want a book from a different branch they will transport it to your favorite branch and keep it on hold for you for only $3!! OR if you have disabilities which limit your access to the library it’s FREE!!), how to create reading lists, how to see what I have checked out and when they’re due back, if I have late fees, basically everything you need when you want books or media.

THEN she showed me the eLibrary!! With my library card, I have access to over 47,000 ebooks and audio books to download FOR FREE. Including everything from major literary works to cookbooks to scholarly articles to resources on how to learn new hobbies. Basically anything you want is available to you digitally now. Click of a button.

There are also all sorts of community events and classes you can go to that are all sponsored through the library.

At this point, I am blown away. I am actually crying at the idea of all of this knowledge and all of these resources being readily available to me FOR FREE.

This woman looks at me, sees I’m crying and just smiles the most genuine and loving smile any stranger has ever given me. (I suspect most adults don’t usually have this reaction to getting a library card. But I’m not most adults.) I imagine it must have been pretty satisfying to her to get a REAL reaction to how MAGICAL the library is. Look Claudine (I asked her name), I am 100% here for you taking me on this incredible journey from my faded memories of cranky old librarians and dusty books and jettisoning me into the 21st century. THANK. YOU.

Once she releases me to browse on my own, it is like I have landed in some uncharted territory that is full of spectacular things to experience.

Our library is complete with self service checkout and return stations, computer areas, flat screen tvs, cozy reading areas, huge media libraries, free wi-fi, some apparently have cafes, others have Xbox360 or PS4 to play, and of course...thousands upon thousands of books. I eagerly approached the catalog computer and type in the title of a book our midwife recommended. Bam. Not only does it show me all copies available within the 22 libraries, it shows availability, holds, wait lists etc. I click on the title and navigate to the page that shows it’s available at that branch and where to find it. It was as if I just became my own librarian!

I’ve always been a fan of numbers so the dewy decimal system is a fave of mine. I have absolutely NO trouble finding the book on the shelf. I traced my fingers over the library sticker and thumb threw the pages and clutched it close to my chest. It was my first library book in twenty years and I was emotional.

I wandered around every section, mind racing with what I should read. I sort of ended up psyching myself out about the fact just because I had access to the library didn’t actually cure my ADHD and reading issues. So I decided to just go print what I had originally come in for and check out the pregnancy book.

During my two hour visit, I had to ask for help about five times. But after my experience with Claudine, I didn’t feel ashamed to have to ask questions that were probably common sense. The workers helped me every time and never made me feel judged, even when I asked where the kids chapter books were. Or how do I log in to the computer now that I have a card. Or how do I check stuff out.

When I scanned my card at the checkout computer, it felt like that beep was the indication of a whole new exciting part of my adult life. I cannot even describe how happy I was to check out a book.

I now have the CCL app on my phone, a list of books to check out and a plan to go back this weekend. I even applied to be a book shelver at one of the nearby branches AND I started reading a new novel today!! I am really obsessed with the idea that these great big, amazingly accessible, places of adventure exist and it’s FREE. I feel like I’m a kid all over again.I cannot wait to see where this rekindled passion leads me.

TL;DR: LIBRARIES ARE MAGICAL! AND FREE! AND EVEN IF YOU HAVE DISABILITIES PEOPLE ARE (PROBABLY) GOING TO BE NICE TO YOU AND HELP YOU FIND WHATEVER YOU NEED!

So go to your local library, check it out. PLEASE! I bet it will blow your mind.

#libraries #books and reading #public libraries #book appreciation #actually adhd #about me 2k17 #long post #story time

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gnot-art · 7 years

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How to Get Clean Line-art From Scanned Images

(This tutorial includes explanation with pictures to help and and the end there’s a shorthand bulleted list to remind you)

Hey everyone! I’m going to try to do a tutorial for how to make clean line-art without a graphics tablet. I use the scanner on my all-in-one printer, a standalone scanner would work too. I wouldn’t recommend doing this from a photographed image, but I don’t think it would be impossible as long as the lighting is clean and the camera is a reasonable quality.

Anyway, here we go! (I’ll put a cut here cus this post is quite long)

Creating the Image

All artists will have their own way of drawing, so don’t let me tell you how to do this bit. This is just a bit about how I do it. Firstly I do an ordinary pencil drawing, I sketch and then do the lines on the same sheet of paper. I have a light-box, (a work station with a bulb behind it so you can see through paper), so after I’ve done the pencilling, I flip the paper over and go over the lines neatly with ink. Flipping the paper over is helpful to tell if there are any mistakes that your eyes have adjusted to. Lots of digital artists do this and a lot of the same issue can be solved by flipping the paper over, not to mention you save yourself paper because you’re using the same sheet.

If I happen to have already used the opposite side, it’s okay to ink over the pencil and just erase the pencil, it just might take a bit more work making the lines clean. Flipping the sheet will not, however, help with skewing if you’ve ended up with a subject leaning to the side (we’ve all been there), but don’t worry about skewing right now you can sort it out later.

For my example I have an image I’ve drawn of my character, Bokan. This one has been done with inking and sketch on the same side and I have erased the lines manually.

I feel like I don’t have to say this, but I will just in case. Once you’ve inked your image, don’t go shading it or colouring it. You will not get clean lines this way!

Scanning the Image

So I set my scanner to 300dpi, which works okay. I’d like to up the resolution a bit to be honest, but my computer can’t handle it when it gets to the colouring stage. I wouldn’t recommend going below 200dpi.

It’s a good idea now to crop the image so the picture is in the middle with a decent border. You can reduce or increase this border as you like. Make sure you save.

Here’s my picture in the software (it’s Jasc Paint Shop Pro 7 by the way – I’m 100% certain you won’t know this software because it’s so old, but I’m also absolutely sure whatever I can do in this software you can do in a newer one). I’m going to put the keyboard shortcuts for my software on the off-chance that it’ll be the same for others, but please double check before you use the keyboard shortcuts I’ve suggested.

Background Layer

Now, put a layer behind the scanned image. For my software, I need to copy the entire picture into a new image as it won’t let me put a layer behind on a scanned image. I doubt this will be applicable to all software, but if your software is like mine and insists the scanned image has to be the ‘background’ layer. I just Ctrl+A to highlight all and Ctrl+V to paste into a new image.

Here’s where I’m at with the new image and the layer menu. (I promise my actual art isn’t pixelated, it’s just because I’m print screening these.)

Now, fill the background layer with a colour. Stay away from anything too light or dark or something that will hurt your eyes like bright red or cyan, I’ve gone for a sort of lilac. You can change this colour later it’s just to help the process. You currently won’t be able to see the background since the scanned image is in the way so don’t freak out.

I save the scanned image as a file on its own in case I ever need it again (I never do), but there’s no reason you can’t save your WIP file over the sketch file when we get to this point.

Erasing the Non-Art

Okay, so now grab your magic wand tool (is it called this in other software?), which selects everything of the same colour that is touching where you click. I set mine to Tolerance “50”.

This is to erase the white (negative space), which is to say, erase all the bits that aren’t your lines. Setting it to 50 means that it will also remove some random blemishes from the paper and also not erase anything that is obviously a part of your work.

You need to be on the image layer for this, so click on some of the negative space. Then delete the selection, like so;

As you can see, the reason that the background is in colour is so we can easily see which white parts we’ve deleted as we go.

As you do this over the whole image, it is chance to clean up the lines a bit more. Delete each white section one at a time, this way you can see if you have left any lines open for colour to leak through (if you want to use flood fill for colouring like I do – I’ll do a tutorial on this as well). You can use the line tool or paintbrush to join up lines at this point.

When inspecting your art this closely you can see things such as this oval I’ve drawn where the lines don’t quite match up.

I can fix that easily by erasing a bit of the inked lines and redrawing with the line tool.

As you can tell at this point, I’ve used different colours for different parts of the line-art. It doesn’t matter because it’ll all be the same colour at the end. So now I have this image.

If you have a skewed image, this would be the time to correct it! I won’t explain how to do this but I’m sure in most software there will be a reform tool to smush your picture into shape.

Making the Lines Solid

I absolutely know there are tools in newer software that’ll do this in one step. But I have no idea how to do that since I don’t use those softwares. Ignore this if you know a quicker way, but this is what I do.

Now I select all (Ctrl+A) and then I float the selection (Ctrl+F). This will select what is left on the layer, which hopefully should be everything you wish to be lineart.

As you can see, there will be some speckley stragglers, which is to be expected and will be dealt with.

Now I go over the entire selection with the biggest paintbrush available in white. Trust me. Then deselect it, and you should have something like this.

The white makes it really obvious to see mistakes such as that little line coming off the artwork on the left (where the pencil sketch wasn’t erased perfectly). I can sort that out by erasing it through the software, either by using the eraser tool or a point to point selection and deleting.

Don’t worry about deleting the stragglers, you just want to remove any mistakes that are directly connected to the lines.

Making the Lines Clean

Now you need another layer on top of this one, I enthusiastically call this one “Lines”. But name yours whatever you like.

Go back to the other layer (with the white lines) and use the magic wand tool to select all the parts of your lineart that you wish to keep. For me, I have to do it in steps, but on a faster computer you can probably do them all in one go by holding shift as you select each bit.

Make sure this selection isn’t floating, and go to the “Lines” layer. Now fill in the space with black (or whatever colour you want your lines). The easiest way to cover all the lines is to use the largest paintbrush and scribble over it. Again, this is something my computer can’t handle so I magic wand the biggest selection of lines and do a flood fill, and then do the paintbrush scribble for the smaller bits.

To explain this again, what you’re doing is selecting the lines on the first layer, and then colouring the lines on the “Lines” layer.

Then, providing you did that right, you can delete the original layer (with the white lines) and your solid line art will remain! Voila!

Final Notes

From here you can change the background colour as you wish or leave it transparent or white. I will do a tutorial on how I colour at some point (again, without a graphics tablet).

And here’s my clean line art!

Thanks for reading! I hope someone found this useful, let me know what you think.

Bullet Points

Creating the Image - Create inked image of work Scanning the Image - Scan to 300dpi Background Layer - Add layer behind scan - Fill background layer with colour Erasing the Non-Art - Magic wand and select all negative space in the picture - Clean up mistakes by erasing unwanted bits and adding lines with paintbrush or line tool Making the Lines Solid - Colour all remaining parts of this layer in white Making the Lines Clean - Make a new layer - Select artwork on original layer - Fill selections on new layer - Delete original layer

#gnot me #gnot art #art tutorial #clean lines #how to get clean lines without a graphics tablet #scanned images #art help #artists on tumblr

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reefertilizer-blog · 6 years

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If you haven’t yet, be sure to check out our guide to building this space bucket.

Hello, fellow growers!

I’m excited to tell you about the upgrades I’ve made to the original space bucket design.

In the last few weeks, I’ve added a few pieces of hardware to make the space bucket even easier to manage.

Its temperature and humidity are now monitored and maintained with a small easy to program digital controller.

I also 3D printed a pair of fan adapters so I can attach ducting to the fans (there’s a download below).

A carbon filter has also be put into the mix to help eliminate any powerful smells.

Let’s go through each upgrade and how to attach them to the space bucket.

3D Printed Fan Adapter

The original bucket had fans, but if I wanted to connect those to a filter or humidifier, I needed a way to attach an air duct. I always thought 3D printing technology was really cool. When I realized it was the answer to my problem I jumped right into designing a fan adapter. My local library has 3D printers the public is allowed to use after a short training program, so I signed up. I recommend checking out your local library, they have some pretty amazing resources at your disposal, not just books! The fan was 90mm, the air duct was 4″, and the design was pretty straight forward. You will notice the one I printed is smaller than the 3D rendering. The reason for this is that the original design would require 5 hours to print. Ain’t nobody got time for that! The software I used made it really easy to scale the height by about 50%. This reduced the print time to just over 2 hours. This shorter adapter was perfect for attaching a duct tube.

The 3D printed piece fit perfectly. I was a little worried it might not be rugged enough, but it’s working well. All I had to do was screw it on. You could add some sealant between the adapter and the fan to help keep the whole thing a little more “airtight”. The hose clamps I used were 4″ and they were just large enough to fit around the fan adapter with very little room to spare.

The material I used to print it was PLA plastic, which is a type of biodegradable plastic made from renewable sources like corn starch. Because it’s biodegradable it won’t last forever and will need to be replaced later on, but at least I’m not adding to the landfill. There are other polymers you can use to 3D print that will last much longer but they cost more. This one adapter cost only $3.50 in materials! To save even more material I set the printer to infill only 10%. Infill is a setting for 3D printers to limit the amount of material to use to fill solid areas. You can set it to 100%, but the print will take a really long time. 10% seems to be enough to keep the piece very solid. There might be small cracks here or there, but for me, the smell isn’t going to be a big issue with this grow.

My adapter was inspired by a design by a company called Mostly Safe Space Buckets. They are based out of Portland Oregon and sell all sorts of space bucket kits and supplies. They also have a comic strip! I’ve never seen that before, but it’s really cool. I originally found them on Etsy, but they also have a website. Go check out their space bucket kits.

Fan Adapter 3D File Download

Here’s a link to the STL file. It can be loaded into any 3D printing software and you’re ready to go! In return for the 3D model, please take a moment to follow us on our social media channels. Get the latest updates on our products and blog right in your feed! Thanks!

Download 3D File

Automated Temperature and Humidity Control

Having a way to maintain the optimum environment for your cannabis plants is really important. My apartment is super dry in the winter so I wanted to find a way to attach a humidifier to my bucket. I started researching different ways I would be able to automate the environment inside the bucket. I found a few products online that required a lot of re-wiring and seemed way to complicated. I just wanted something plug and play. Eventually, I found a supplier who built exactly what I was looking for. This device consists of a humidity and temperature sensor, a small programmable display and two power outlets. One outlet will control a humidifier or dehumidifier, the other will control a fan or a heater. You can program the device to turn on a humidifier if the relative humidity gets low, then shut off when it’s at the right level. To control the heat you can plug in your exhaust fan to suck out hot air if it gets too warm. The controller also has different settings for day and night. The length of each cycle can also be modified. There’s even an alarm that goes off if it gets too hot, cold, humid, or dry. It’s very handy and simple to use.

If you’re interested in using this controller yourself, we have it available in our store here. Shipping is free too.

Smell Proof Your Spacebucket With a Carbon Filter

When your plants start to flower, the smell of cannabis is going to get quite strong. Attaching a carbon filter to your exhaust fan should reduce this smell substantially. Since the bucket doesn’t have enough room inside for a filter, you will have to blow the dank air out through the filter. This was probably the easiest and quickest of all the upgrades I did to the bucket. I found the filter on Amazon here, as well as some duct tubing here.

Control Your Space Bucket Humidity

Using a humidifier is a great way to maintain the right humidity inside your bucket, especially if you’re in a dry climate. In this build, I used a 4 Litre Honeywell dehumidifier I found on Amazon. The reason I used this one is that it’s analog instead of digital. Since it’s controlled by the sensor, it needs to be able to turn on as soon as it has power. Digital humidifiers usually need a button to be pressed everytime it gets plugged in. This one has a simple switch that you can just leave on.

I had to modify the cover to make space for the 4″ T pipe. This pipe allows the fan to pull in fresh air as well as moisture.

Thanks for reading and following along with the space bucket build. If you have any questions or ideas on how to improve the design, leave us a comment below! If you’re interested in learning more about growing cannabis at home, be sure to join our mailing list. When you sign up you also get a free copy of our grow guide that covers all sorts of basics about growing cannabis. Sign up below!

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The post Spacebucket Update – Fan Adapter + Humidity, Temperature, and Smell Control appeared first on Reefertilizer.

#cannabis #grow weed #cannabis nutrients #grow good weed

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nchyinotes · 6 years

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How to launch an independent magazine, by Delayed Gratification

February 22 2018

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/how-to-launch-an-independent-magazine-22nd-february-2018-tickets-40937174190?aff=es2

In this class you will:

-Learn how to turn your magazine idea into reality

-Find out how to identify a successful editorial niche

-Understand the nuts and bolts of commissioning writers and designers

-See how to pull together a winning subscription, distribution and marketing plan

-Discover how to survive and thrive beyond the first year

You will leave with a good insight into the independent publishing industry and a strong idea of how to set about launching an independent magazine.

Thoughts: I actually found this event on eventbrite a few months before it happened, sent it to my friend who I knew would be interested (hi Ayesha!) and then forgot about it. Then the day before, she asks if I want to go because her friend cancelled so she had an extra ticket, so I ended up going with her haha. I’ve always been vaguely interested in starting a magazine, and was actually the co-editor of an online art magazine aaaages ago with my online friend (hi Angela!), but was never really serious about it. While some of this information was not new for me (a lot of it overlapped with your typical entrepreneurship/startup advice, ie. finding a niche), the advice that was specific to launching indie magazines (logistics and business aspects) was very useful and interesting, and I really appreciated the numbers they threw in from their own business. Overall, was a very fun and honest look at the business, and the organisers were super friendly. Also left with a free copy of Delayed Gratification (their mag), which was cool to read.

EDITED NOTES

Introduction

Met early 20s in dubai, journalism students, working as time out editors, learnt how to make print mags together / fell in love with it

Went in different directions, and then all ended up back in london at 30

Just over 7 years now

Named independent magazine editors of the year 2017

Most independent magazines are losing if not hemorrhaging money - lots of vanity projects, made as a shop front for creative agencies.

Attrition rate is extraordinary. Intense desire to make them, but the number that make it past issue 2 / 3 is very low.

Lower barriers to entry than ever before - people are used to them, a lot more need for them (solace in print from digital world) + tools are there + there are all these places to sell them now (mag culture!)

Bad news: will probably break your heart, high failure rate, odds are against you, difficult economic model to make work, are not immune to pressures in mainstream press (but don’t face: massive debt built up in 80s/90s for rapid expansion, pensions liabilities, offices)

Were dreamers + journalists: novices at nuts and bolts of making money/funding

90% of success is turning up - determination to keep going even in early years

Maybe expand into documentaries / books in the future

Key lessons

1) you probably shouldn’t launch an independent magazine - sink which you pour your money, dreams, hopes

Brainstorm: Why do indie mags fail?

Not thinking about how you pay for issue 2 → run out of cash v quickly (where frequency comes into it, ie. weekly)

Just getting visibility: Hard to find your audience - with so much competition, etc

Often have expertise in one area, but lack expertise in another function that’s vital to bringing product to market

Content burn out, esp. If you make big commitments (launch with huge interview etc) - second album syndrome? Not to create too many structures that need to be filled in early days.

2) ^ can be overcome with a niche - you need a niche

Fat brad magazine

Terrible people magazine

Slightly foxed, nutmeg (scottish football periodical), mc1r (only about redheads)

Their niche: slow journalism, something to champion

What it did for them:

issue 1 cover was by obama’s hope poster artist (+ issue 5, limited edition posters, interview = all for free)

Content by Interviews (henry kissinger, etc) + writers - because it resonated with them, wanted to support it = can use those people’s credibility to add to theirs

Coverage + press: something to talk about (today program on radio 4: one 6 minute interview got them ~400 subscriptions = able to be condensed and easily explained/summed up)

Could have been slightly more bullish about fast news in the start, should you be worried about alienation??

Brainstorm: A name and niche

Colors magazine - activism & protest issue

Trend (mindfulness) vs Niche

Helps to sort of person we appeal to, what need am i filling that hasn’t been filled, what is my spin

Need to be passionate (committed, reason without a doubt), not egotistical, believe in your idea, ask for help a lot, honest

3) you need to think about the business

Beyond issue 1, what it is to run a magazine business (VAT returns, subscription systems, fb ads)

Frequency & cost

Weekly or monthly is really really fast. Always easier to go from quarterly down, because it shows you’re getting better, etc (awks if you have to go the other way).

Issue 1: 12 pounds, issue 2: 10 pounds.

When setting price for individual issue, what would you charge for a year’s subscriptions? You want to offer subscribers an appealing discount (that you’re not losing on each subscription)

Christmas is key for the indie mag industry - big burst of subscriptions as gifts. So don’t launch in jan or feb lol, christmas run is key, be well established for this! 50+% this year was from last 5 weeks of sales

Don’t launch in summer - nobody gets subscriptions then, more newstands then

Print, digital, or both?

People don’t want to pay for digital issues, not that captivated by complicated stuff you can do on there.

You have to charge VAT + pay percentage to platform for digital copies

People expect to pay less for digital copies

But there are some digital projects that are fascinating - de correspondent (similar premise, crowdfunded, purely digital in dutch, really collaborative / self contained digital ecosystem. / community driven)

Physicality - You can get people to pay for a physical / tangible object that they just don’t for digital, they have relationships with them.

Latterly (weekly newsletter, after building huge online audience for free, now printed publication)

^ merits of this?? Passion project more bc of time sink??

Subscriptions vs newsstand

Subscription systems

Gocardless (pay direct debits)

Chargebee - portal

V difficult to make money out of newsstand sales - 50% of the cover price, 3-6 months after mags are sold, and they generally only sell 60% of the ones you’ve sent them. Treated as marketing for subscriptions.

Not difficult to set them up

In London / UK: Ra&Olly, MMS, Smiths (difficult + unresponsive + dont fulfill, but have a stranglehold on mags in country)

Paid: gold star media (get you in to salons, hotels, airport lounges, etc)

Is your magazine one that a company would like to support? Team up because they really like it

Customer

Site sales: shopify

Fulfilment: newsstand

Adjust your expectations

4) take subscriptions!!

Newsstands are hard

It’s money upfront, will help with print bills, cash flow, etc

Community building

More chances for someone to like someone

Alternatives: Kickstarter, indiegogo (to test out if appetite is there)

Subscription renewals / Direct debits ?

Do not build your business model around advertising, it’s so diffused + competitive, can’t do trackability on print issues

No ads > bad ads

Corporate work - if you prove you can make mags, you can make them for other people too

Magazine as a broader way of selling your skill set

plan for issue 2/3/4 already + worst case scenarios

5) you need to make something special

Making your magazine:

Commissioning editorial content

There are a lot of really good writers out there desperate to work for you

Draw up a commissioning form - rights and responsibilities, deadlines, etc

Approach writers that you like - tell about mag & ask them to pitch OR give them a story and ask them to write it

Longer form + freedom

Always pay! You have a contract, leverage, etc

Editorial pagination * av word count * word rate = commission

First: 10p/word

Now: 25p/word

Industry average: 30p/word

Interviews / verbatim interviews: with an expert in the subject. Get it without having to pay a word rate, take what you need from it, may tighten it up for free anyway when you send it back for approval

Ask people who just brought out a book

Finding a designer - they expect a very carefully designed product

Don’t be afraid to let things evolve - keep moving/changing things around

First issue is not going to be perfect, important thing is that it exists

Look at magazines / things you like + get in touch with them

Have your favorite designer create a template (or a regular design) for you - easier for recent grads etc to follow, at a cheaper price

Design software: considerable expense

Indesign, photoshop - creative suite, expensive monthly. Worth looking at older versions (old DVDs on ebay - work with designer to save it down a version)

Pagination (80-100), size (delayed gratification is too big/wide to fit through most letterboxes, something smaller / standard sizes are better), GSM (cyclical trends), binding (perfect bound, saddle stitch / staples are much cheaper)

Costs of the last issue, excl. Wages (which has come up a huge amount, 7-8k in the beginning bc lots in house and paying less) : 23.8k pounds

West ale ?? printers company

Approach the printers

The only thing that’s going to push your price up is if its special paper they have to order 4 u

You’ll get inundated with calls once you start up

You want a printer that will work around you (missed deadlines or changes post-proof stage)

6) you need to tell people about your mag

Brainstorm: how are you going to get noticed?

Making waves - Print someone controversial, getting into mainstream press

Power of positivity vs negativity (attract passionately negative people? In emails? Lol. prepare yourself for backlash)

Collaborating with influencers / people with followings / associations that make sense / endorsement (within the niche) - genuine

Loving print means embracing digital - lots of new people come from digital content

Weekly newsletter : manageable amount of content, keep engaging (mailchimp), moving people through the marketing funnel

Events - sense of community, benefit for subscribers.

Free is not recommended. Commitment.

Indie mag community - swap inserts in different titles/issues/newsletters, nicer fit, more interest

Podcasts

Questions

Usually print about 1000 copies of issue 1

Issue 0 - proof of concept (rarely done in indie mags)

Limited run projects - must be pitched to advertisers / subscribers before hand as such (will probz break ur heart at issue 6)

#entrepenuership #publishing #2018 #london #media #event

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