#also I know I KNOW it’s a cat series written for children

[kongming]

I knowwwww that having a good fandom experience inevitably means ignoring certain fandom opinions but every time I see certain whack ass takes spreading and being parroted for no reason other than that “big name fans” were persistent enough to yell about it and not-so-subtly hint that everyone who disagreed with them was like problematic, I get one step closer to pulling a Martin Luther and nailing my “if you genuinely believe this you are just bad at critical reading, actually” theses slash longpost to the door of the fandom church

[certaimromance]

𝜗𝜚 You Says.

Post prison Reid x Reporter!reader

Read part one here!

Summary: After a rough night and some misunderstandings, Spencer needs to do everything he can to make things right with you and get his relationship back on track. The problem is, things aren't so easy for you, and he's willing to do anything you ask, even take care of you when no one else will.

Words: 3,1k.

TW: mentions of crime and trauma (normal warnings in the serie. angst+comfort. the reader gets sick (nothing serious, just a normal cold). a little mention of spencer's past traumas. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: Ok, I didn't think of doing a second part before, but reading my own work made me so sad😭 the cat deserves happy parents (we are the cat) but I warn you that I do not believe in magic apologies.

As an interesting side note, both parts of this story are named after children's games. In this case, it's for "Simon Says," which I thought was pretty cool because in this part, Spencer literally does whatever the reader wants.

I also want to thank you for the support you gave to the first part and for the 300 followers💝 I could not say it before but it makes me very happy.

♡ Enjoy! ♡

Spencer had been losing his mind since the last time he saw you in person, and it was all his fault. From the moment the door to his apartment closed behind you and the oven beeped, he began to feel the broken pieces of his heart that you had once held together unravel and shatter even more. He hated himself for letting his insecurities get in the way of the one good thing he had managed to have over the past few years, and for pushing you away when you didn't want to. You had been his exception among all the bad things that had happened in his life for as long as he could remember, the only one that didn't seem to want to be temporary and left him when he least expected it. And he himself had forced you out of his life, even when you didn't want to, begging him with tear-filled eyes for a little remorse that he didn't give you.

Just a few hours after the incident, he tried to go to work as if nothing had happened to clean up the mess the leak had made and put the killer in jail. He brought Penelope the promised cookies and your computer for her to examine because it felt right at the time. Part of him needed her to find real proof of your betrayal so he could stop feeling bad about making you cry and saying such ugly things to you.

Then he found out that you were telling the truth and that your computer contained nothing but photos of the two of you, all the articles he had ever written or been mentioned in your searches, and a few writings in which you poured out all your love for him in the cheesiest and most poetic way possible. You loved him, you really did, and there was no evidence to the contrary, because even Garcia could later assure him that the information had come anonymously and had been bought for five hundred dollars. But it was too late, because he had given you a conviction without even knowing it.

That's when he started to fixate on making amends for what he'd done. Every time you left work, bouquets of your favorite flowers with notes asking for forgiveness and wishing you a good night began to appear in your car. He also made a point of stopping by to talk to you and repeat how sorry he was. You knew this would happen when he realized his mistake. You had told him before you left, and that's why you refused to see him. It was good that the security guards at your workplace didn't let him in, even with his FBI credentials. The tricky part was your building because the doorman already knew him and let him in normally thanks to the excuses Spencer made up, even though you said a thousand times that he shouldn't have.

And that was happening again, for the fifth or sixth time in the last few days.

“Please, just let me talk to you and tell you how sorry I am. Listen to me for a moment.” You could hear Reid's voice from the other side of the door.

You didn't say anything. You just sat with your back against the door and one hand on your heart, as if you were trying to hold it. It didn't even cross your mind that he was in the same situation.

“Just a few minutes, please."

Once more, you remained silent.

Silence was the worst answer someone could give. You knew it, and it hurt to have to do it with him. But you had no choice because you knew that by looking into his eyes for just a few seconds, all the bad things would dissipate and maybe you would even forgive him without thinking just because of the love you had for him. You didn't like being this vulnerable and having so many feelings for someone who didn't trust you.

Lately, you've been spending every waking moment wondering what you could have done to make him believe that you were really capable of betraying him in such a cruel and selfish way. You were the one who woke up in the middle of the night to try to comfort him every time he had a nightmare or couldn't sleep. You drove to his apartment no matter what time it was to make sure he was okay. You lost your breath repeating that he was safe with you. You drank many cups of coffee the next day so you wouldn't fall asleep on the job every time the situation repeated itself. That's why you started sleeping in his apartment, wrapped in his arms because he said it made him happy to wake up and see you. And even with all that, Spencer was able to believe that you didn't love him.

You were running your hands through your hair and sighing, trying to block out all the thoughts running through your head, when you heard his phone ring. You could tell it was important by the way he spoke and changed his tone of voice, so you got up from the floor at the same time he did to put your ear to the door.

“I really have to go now, but could you open up a little bit so I can take a quick look at you?” He asked in a pleading tone after hanging up the call. “Please, I know you can hear me. I can see the shadow of your feet under the door.”

You really thought he didn't know you were there, feeling like a fool for listening to every word he said.

“If you want to see me, turn on the TV.” Your voice finally reached Spencer, and it gave him a glimmer of hope. It was the first time you had spoken to him since that night, and even though there was a door between the two of you, you were talking to him.

“It's not enough.”

“And it's not my problem.”

That was more hurtful than your silence.

“I know, it's mine.” He replied after a couple of seconds, trying to process everything. “And I will do everything I can to fix it...I have to go now, but take care of yourself. The nights have been getting colder lately, so wrap up warm.”

You knew it was a bit silly to think of that now, but his attention to detail was impressive. Since you did the evening news, you used to get off work very late, and the change from air conditioning to the city cold was quite a lot. Spencer had cited scientific studies to you many times to make you aware and know what kind of clothing materials to use to avoid a cold. You missed that a lot.

If he had the same attitude as the night of the conflict, it would be easier. You could hate him and stop loving him so strongly.

“I love you, William misses you and so do I.”

You frowned because you didn't know anyone by that name.

“William?”

“Our cat.” He answered simply. “When we talked about how we would name him, you said that a lot of people name their pets after their favorite characters. You love the movie ‘Notting Hill’ and whenever we watch it, you always say you like Hugh Grant's character named William. It also means strong-willed warrior. I just thought you would like it.”

You didn't say anything at the time because you had to cover your hand with your mouth to keep from doing so, but you liked it and you liked it too much. Once again, he focused on the details.

“You can change it if you want because I don't know if he likes it, but what I do know is that he misses you. He lies on your blanket and starts meowing, and he also looks at the door. I certainly think that every time I come home he expects it to be you.” He kept talking as he received no response from you. “It sounds like I'm talking about myself. And it's true because it happens to me the same way.”

When he paused, a tear escaped and fell down your cheek. It wasn't fair for him to say those things now.

“If you want to see him and me not being there, you can send me a message...but I'd really like to be.” He paused again, as if searching for the perfect words.

What did it cost him to have searched for the perfect words the night he distrusted you?

“I must go, I love you.”

The last thing you heard before he left was Spencer's footsteps heading towards the elevator.

Just two weeks later, you realized that maybe you should have listened to Spencer when he said the nights were getting too cold. If you had, now you probably wouldn't be lying on your bed with an unbearable flu and no one there to bring you soup or a cold washcloth for your forehead because your mother was taking too long to get to city.

When you were younger, you thought it was a great idea to get as far away from your hometown as possible. Now, however, you realize that you need a familiar face to take care of you because you can't do it alone all the time.

You felt a sense of relief when you heard the door to your apartment open.

“Mom? I'm really hungry and the soup is all gone.” You spoke in a tired tone as you heard footsteps approaching. But at that moment, you watched as the cat you shared with Reid jumped onto the bed and started purring at you.

You thought you were hallucinating from the fever until you saw Spencer walking into your room with a couple of bags.

“I know you were expecting your mother, but we brought you soup and medicine.” He said, sitting up in bed to look closely at you and put a hand on your forehead. “You're burning up.”

“What are you doing here?” You asked, trying to pull away from his touch.

“Your mother called me because she couldn't find a flight today and was very worried. She asked me to take care of you.”

Of course she did, because she adored him and didn't know that things were bad between you two.

“I don't need you to take care of me.” You barely settled into bed and petted the cat. “Go to work, make sure no one leaks information.”

Oh, that was a low blow for him.

“I asked for a few days off because you have a high fever and someone needs to take care of you.”

“You don't have to...”

“I want to.” He said, interrupting you and putting a cold cloth on your forehead.

“Just because you're looking out for me doesn't mean I'm going to forget everything and forgive you.” You clarified right away, trying not to lose focus because of the relief you felt thanks to the cold compress.

“I know, and I don't expect you to. Just let me take care of you now, forget you hate me until you get better. I won't take advantage of this, I swear.” He looked at you with a serious gaze, as if he were swearing an oath. “Please.”

God, not puppy dog eyes now.

You used to love it when he looked at you with those sparkling eyes. Now, though, you felt manipulated by it.

“Fine, give me the soup.” You finally agreed, knowing you didn't have much of a choice. “Just a warning, please don't answer any calls near me. I can listen in and use the information to hire a nurse.”

He ignored the comment and didn't bring it up to make you uncomfortable. He sat on the edge of the bed, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. His touch was light, and his eyes searched yours as he spoke.

“Is there anything else besides soup I can bring you? More tissues, or maybe some medicine?” He asked in a soft, soothing voice.

You shook your head, still a bit dazed by the situation and your stomach rumbling. You watched as Spencer disappeared into the kitchen, and you could hear his footsteps echoing throughout the house, followed by the clatter of pots and pans and the sound of the stove being turned on. You could only lie back on your bed, feeling a wave of tiredness wash over you.

A few minutes later, he came back with a bowl of chicken noodle soup and sat down next to you on the bed, being careful not to spill anything.

“Are you planning to feed me soup?” You asked, with a hint of irony in your voice, as you watched me hold the spoon and watch you.

“If you wish, I'll be happy to.” He replied simply and brought the spoon gently to your mouth.

“I'm not a baby.”

Especially not his baby.

“You hate me, I know. But I really want to take care of you, and I won't leave until at least your mother arrives.” He paused for a second, as if to catch his breath. “If you don't want me around, that's okay, I'll just sit in the corner of the room or in the living room in silence. It hurts, but I'll take whatever you want.”

You remained silent for several seconds, dedicating yourself to stroking the cat to avoid Spencer's gaze.

“I don't hate you.” Was the only thing you could say at the time.

Something inside you was expecting a more exaggerated reaction for letting your guard down a bit, or maybe you were just too feverish. The thing was, he had only given you a small, almost non-existent smile.

“I know.” He finally spoke and gently adjusted the cold compress on your forehead. “And that's why I hate myself.”

At that moment, while you were trying to make sense of how things had changed so much in just a week, he was watching you.

Spencer was waiting for you to explode, to tell him how sorry you were for getting involved with him and his complicated world, that it was all one big mistake that you would regret forever. He was expecting disaster, pain, tears, and a lot of chaos.

But you didn't give him any of that.

Just a sweet nothing.

He could tell at that moment that even though you were in a feverish state and had many reasons to be cruel, you would not be. He realized that you would never yell at him or do anything to hurt him, that the most painful thing you could give him was your silence. And it was then that he confirmed that you loved him the way he thought he did not deserve to be loved: honestly and genuinely.

“Why?” You whispered after a few minutes of silence. “Why are you with me if you don't trust me?”

“I trust you.” He looked you straight in the eye as he spoke, trying to show that he was being completely sincere. “I just don't trust myself.”

You frowned and let out a groan from the discomfort in your forehead. You weren't sure if you were hallucinating because of the cold or if Spencer was really shivering.

“I don't think I'm good enough for you, or deserve you, or that you love me because you want to.” He finally admitted, his voice slightly shaky. He seemed to be in a worse state than you. “It's silly because you've never given me a reason to distrust you.”

“I know you thought I was going to leave. But I didn't want to leave until you asked me to.” You were close to crying, so you pretended to sneeze to hide your watery eyes. You didn't want to show how vulnerable you were. “It was easier to distrust me and blame me like I was just another bad person you catch.”

“Yes, but...” He replied, trying to answer your question.

“Don't talk. It's my turn.”

He nodded after a few seconds, watching you with concern. “Just be careful, you're still sick.”

You already knew how sick you were and how deplorable you probably looked, but you wanted to say it all and stop feeling a lump in your throat.

“You say you trust me, but you really don't, and I've been trying to understand you for almost a year, Spencer. It's been eleven months of trying not to invade your space, avoiding topics that make you tense or your eyes glaze over.” You had to stop to catch your breath and drink some water with his help. “And you think I don't understand you or really know you, but I do. I know how all your dishes are arranged, I know how you like to fold clothes and eat toast, I know that chess reminds you of someone because your eyes get watery every time we see a board, I know about the book signed by Maeve that you hide in your closet and about which you tense up every time I'm near, I know about your nightmares about prison that you don't like to talk about, and about your mother's favorite colors that change every day. I know so much about you, and yet you think I know nothing.”

Once more, there was a long, quiet pause.

“I'm so sorry.” He held your hands as he repeated the same thing, this time with a truly sincere tone. The whole room was still tense as his knees touched the floor, and the apology he gave you seemed like a plea. “I'm really sorry. I know you don't want apologies, you want trust, and I'm going to show you that.”

You didn't say anything as he sat down next to you on the bed.

“I trust you, that's why I always tell you about my cases. And I will tell you about all my past, if you want, because for me you are my present and my future...of course, only if you still want to.”

The eyes of both of you were fixed on the cat you shared, who was purring and lying very comfortably in the middle of the bed. It was nice to know that at least one of the three of you was happy.

“Tell me.”

And just as you asked, he told you everything because he wanted to show you that he trusted you.

This time he really trusted.

[ellaak]

ENHYPEN RECOMMENDATION LIST

✉~Smau ✏~Written Series 🃁~Oneshot ☆~Headcanon ♡~Fluff ☔︎︎~Angst ☊~Crack ⌧~MDNI

Last Updated : July 24th 2024

LEE HEESEUNG Mistletoe Mayhaps 🃁 ~ ☊ ~ ♡ @bluriki This fic made me giggle sm the mistletoe was the op fr NEW BEGINNINGS 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @ikeuverse Crying. Belong To You 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @jaeyunluvr ANGST TO FLUFF ARE SO GOOD ## Buy One, Take me ✉ ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @heeracha If they didn't have their happy ending I would've molded one with my own BARE hands. Falling In Love With Heeseung 🃁 ~ ♡ @wondipity THIS SHORT FIC OMLLL WIN ONE WIN ME 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @jaylver THIS FIC HAS ME ON A CHOKE HOLD, also FUCK MATTHEW. A Stoner's Guide To Starbucks ✉ ~ ☊ @jayflrt I actually needed CPR from the lack of oxygen due to reading this fic

PARK JAY What do you mean dad went to get the milk!? 🃁 ~ ☊ @orangflowalober Why do the children know what the milk joke means..... 21st CENTURY GIRL ✉ ~ ☊ @hoonvrs This was acc so funny the way they refused to believe jay You Again? 🃁 ~ ♡ @songbirdseung AIRPORT CRUSH ON ANOTHER LEVEL

SIM JAKE LIKE HOT SUMMER 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @jaystardust Good thing Sungchan was a hoe, so Jake could come in and save us :p Hello Kitty Meets Batman (Not Clickbait!) 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @star-sim Jake was so downbad, but the way their privacy got invaded made me sad :( WEBS OF HURT 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @jaylver I HAD TO SCREAM INTO MY PILLOW. THIS FIC, OH THIS FIC, I LOVE IT SM

PARK SUNGHOON Always Forever 🃁 ~ ♡ @kairoot MY BB HOON 12 Days Of Christmas ✉ ~ ☊ @jebi-won SUNGHOON IS SO ME but my wishlist never came Return To Sender ✏ ~ ☔︎︎ @jjunberry I would've never speak to my sibling ever again.... Look At Me Now ✉ ~ ☊ @facechasers SECRET RELATIONSHIP TROUP >>>>> The Perfect Love Scheme 🃁 ~ ♡ @lovepookie I LOVE THE LOSER SUNGHOON AGENDA NOW WE DATE! ✉ ~ ☊ @boyfhee Sunghoon will always be so bbg Back Off! 🃁 ~ ♡ @delcakoo Hand bumping while I'm getting snacks is not romantic so MOVE Mirrorball 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @rosenhypen HOLDING MY TEARS THE WHOLE FIC With Love, Sunghoon 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @dazed-hee I WENT THROUGH SM EMOTIONS HOON WAS AN ASS Take a Chance With Me 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @snghnlvr I FACEPALMED WHEN SUNGHOON SAID THAT Homesick 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @aakomii The line 'take me home' did me IN Introducing You To His Fans On Vlive 🃁 ~ ♡ @nokacchan Sunghoon just being smitten The 24-Hour Dating Challenge 🃁 ~ ♡ @jaeyunverse Someone better confess to me in asters NOONA ✉ ~ ☊ @hoonvrs Play WOW by stray kids HOW TO NOT SURVIVE HIGHSCHOOL 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @srjlvr I too would've ignored his ass after 8th grade, BUT BEAUTIFUL PLOT! Red Light, Green Light 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @restlessmaknae THE GREENEST FLAG EVER IN THIS FIC

KIM SUNOO Guess who ✉ ~ ☊ @soobnny THE WAY THEY KEPT REFERENCING SUNWOO FROM THEBOYZ Let My Love Run Wild ✉ ~ ♡ @jaeminvore This was so sweet i’ll be putting on a suit, be tip toeing to you if you’re down for it 🃁 ~ ♡ @yenqa GET URSELF A MAN WHO'LL UP ON VALETINES IN A TUEXEDO AND GET IT DIRTY FOR YOU !!

YANG JUNGWON Did I, A Side Character Became The Male Leads Wife!? ✏ ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @ateliertale JUNGWON COULD NOT LEAVE US ALONE Idol Crush! ✉ ~ ☊ ~ ☔︎︎ @enhas-bestie Wonyoung carried the last few chapters. Best Wingwomen FIRST & SECOND 🃁 ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @nkplanet I'LL FIGHT HER PARENTS. IT'S ON SIGHT

NISHIMURA RIKI Love Dive ✉ ~ ☊ ~ ♡ @tzyuki KEEYNKI SOLOS. Shoot! ✉ ~ ☊ ~ ♡ @amakumos GENSHIN DATING APP REAL. CAN I BE YOURS? 🃁 ~ ♡ @mintsvnoo SMALL NIKI AND HIS INNOCENT ACTIONS YOUR HIGHNESS 🃁 ~ ♡ @nkplanet and people ask me why I have high standards Weird Cat Guy 🃁 ~ ♡ @boydepartment He didn't catch a cat..... THAT'S HER!! ✉ ~ ☊ ~ ☔︎︎ ~ ♡ @jakesgalxy I prayed for the previous CEO's downfall. His Muse 🃁 ~ ♡ @pnghoon To be someone's muse is just so soft :3 Just Us, And Your Brother... 🃁 ~ ☊ ~ ♡ @tyunni Heeseung was so foul for those last texts LMAO NI-KI Boyfie Hcs ☆ ~ ☊ ~ ♡ @icysab I snorted so hard reading this TuT Behind The Net! 🃁 ~ ☊ ~ ♡ @delcakoo In the end, it was a reward disguised as a punishment

OT7 She's Taken PT.2 ☆ ~ ☊ @star-sim THE FANS ARE SO SILLY Is Your Girlfriend Single? PT.2 ☆ ~ ☊ @star-sim DYING OF LAUGHTER QUITE LITERALLY Being Asked Out PT.2 ☆ ~ ♡ @wwonwonism Made me giggle Lipgloss & Kisses ☆ ~ ♡ @maeumi-jng WHEN IS IT MY TURN ooo You Want Me So Bad ☆ ~ ♡ ~ ☊ @sharkorok THE NICE TO YOU BUT RUDE TO EVERYONE ELSE TROUP IS GONNA BE THE END OF ME SELLING MY BOYFRIEND ☆ ~ ✉ ~ ☊ @luvyeni Something silly for valentines Enha reaction to their s/o crying after a member scares them ☆ ~ ♡ @yeeunjia This is me and my sensitive heart Enha getting you a snack you're craving at 3am ☆ ~ ☊ @n1k1tty Get urself a s/o who gets you what you're craving at unholy hours When You Can't Sleep Without Them ☆ ~ ♡ @angel1kisses Very Comforting You Get Shipped With Another Idol ☆ ~ ✉ ~ ☊ @leaderwon JAYS WAS SO DIRTY LMAO

[erisweekofficial]

Today we're highlighting @acourtofladydeath, creator and mastermind behind @polyacotarweek. She's written so many amazing pieces about Eris across multiple ships and genres. And if you find yourself wanting to explore other characters, she's got you covered with her masterlist of 30+ works on AO3.

🧡 Looking for something deeply emotional and poignant? Please start with LD's favorite fic, All Things End (Azris). 🎧 It even has a playlist. 🎧

🔥 If you're looking for a good horny time, try Welcome to the Family, which features Elain x Eris or Rules are Rules (Azris). You're in for a good time with those two. Especially if you like Beron.

Read on to learn more about LD's writing process + some advice for writing about Eris...

What themes do you like to explore in your work with Eris?

I really enjoy exploring the juxtaposition and depth of Eris. He needs to act a certain way to protect the people he loves and keep his place within the Autumn Court under his father. But does he want to act that way? How soft is he, or is he actually as mean as he seems? I like when he's a bit of both. I think he's a very protective person, and I enjoy exploring the different ways that manifests with different people. I also think he's experienced a lot of trauma in his life, and I'd be remiss if I didn't say I enjoy exploring that and how it influences both his external and internal persona.

What other characters do you enjoy writing about alongside Eris?

Three favorites, three different relationships: My favorite person to ship Eris with is Azriel, and I love writing different iterations of their relationship. Some are softer, others are spicier, and then there's the really sad takes. There's so much give and take with these two and it's so fascinating to play around with. I love writing Eris and Nesta as best friends. Their wit is so well matched, as is their lived experiences with their siblings and parents. They have so much overlap, and you can write them funny or feeling and any combination in betwell. Plus, who says friends can't fuck? Not me. The third person is Lucien. I really enjoy exploring their familial relationships. Were they close as kids? If they hate each other, have they always? How does this relate to their relationships with their parents and other brothers? There's so many different ways to skin this cat and I want to write them all.

What's your favorite piece you've created featuring Eris and why?

I hemmed and hawed over this question forever, but I think the fic that fits best is "All Things End." This fic is pure bittersweet angsty sadness. What if Beron's torture gave Eris incurable dementia? How would his mate, Azriel, their children, and Lucien handle the situation? CW for dementia, death, and grief. I created two playlists for this fic: one that's a direct accompaniment and another that's an extended cut. The direct playlist is timed to the reading length of the fic, and specific songs play during specific scenes to enhance the reader experience (AKA bring more tissues).

Do you have any advice for other creators wanting to make eris content?

Eris is a character that we don't know much about compared to others in the series. When I go to write him I start with what we do know: his father's abuse, he's a general, he protected Lucien, we don't have the whole story about the Mor situation. He's cunning, so you know that what you see isn't all there is. I like to build backward. What from canon do I want to focus on? How does canon tie into whatever type of fic I'm writing? Why does he act the way he acts, and how does that tie into his canon history and the plot/theme/characterization of my fic? This helps build up the layers that are so integral to who I think Eris is as a character. Complex, captivating, keeps you on your toes. And don't forget his gold jewelry.

[severus-snaps]

so I’ve been rereading the books to get the tiny snippets of Snape that don't often get brought up

but so far I’ve only read up to Harry meeting Ron on the Hogwarts Express. Although Snape has yet to be introduced I keep thinking about how similar Snape and Harry were in a lot of ways - and how different - even at the early stages. 

so this is a mostly snape-centric ramble about Harry and Sev's similarities and differences, and what they might have meant for a young Sev during his time as a child, his family, his trip to Diagon Alley, his scene on the Hogwarts Express, and what all of that might mean for his experience of being in Slytherin in his early years

Pre Hogwarts

This started as a ramble, but I’ve decided to organise it slightly - this is difficult as Harry and Snape have slightly different circumstances that are similar in some ways but different in others, so I’ve just gone back to basics for each section here

Similarities

Both are young wizards about to go to Hogwarts 

Both come from unhappy homes

Both cannot wait to go to Hogwarts/escape their ‘family home’

Both have displayed unintentional magic as children

Both as children are in ill-fitting clothes, have poor haircuts (even if Harry's grows back; Sev’s apparently does not), and are scrawny and/or small. Sev is described as looking at odds with James ("conspicuously lacked" looking well-cared-for and adored, which I suspect would also apply to Harry, if the series wasn't half in Harry's POV). 

Depending on whether you take the mistreatment and neglect literally from PS or in a more Roald Dahl-eque way in which I suspect it was initially written, Harry did not have a happy home life until this point, and neither did Snape (a witch ‘cowering’ from a Muggle and Sev’s jacket despite the heat and the Pottermore article suggest and/or state physical abuse in addition to neglect)

As far as we’re aware, Snape is not used as a servant/slave within his own home

Differences

One of the main ways Harry and Sev differ would obviously be magical knowledge; Sev knows he is a wizard, knows a lot about the wizarding world - but Harry does not

Snape is not orphaned; he has both parents (for better or for worse), where Harry has none, unless you count the Dursleys

Both Harry and Sev are obviously neglected, but Harry is neglected intentionally

Harry is intentionally excluded, neglected and ignored - but Sev’s neglect seems less intentional and more… ‘the way of things’

Sev's family are so poor and/or neglectful that Sev doesn't have his own clothes (context clues like living in a dilapidated, small house in an old industrial area suggest they just don't have the option)

Sev’s family either has no inclination or ability to amend Tobias' clothes instead of Eileen's, and/or don’t have any family friends to borrow/take hand-me-down clothes from; they are his parents’ clothes. Harry is ‘fortunate’ in that he has Dudley to take clothes from. The obvious outcome being here that otherwise he’d be wearing Vernon’s old coat and Petunia’s blouse)

Harry is raised in a middle-class home with a reasonable enough income. He gets pocket money (probably paltry and inconsistent: “The Dursleys haven’t given me pocket money for about six years”, CoS) can sneak out and eat at night, get cake (however gross) from his neighbour as she tells him about her cats. He eats with the Dursleys, plays with Dudley's toys if he's left alone, and gets gifts (even if they are pathetic). Harry’s neglect is wilful - and malicious

I get the idea that the Snape family are so poor and so unhappy that their neglect isn't even intentional, it's just how their lives are. they're steeped in it, living in a dilapidated area, poor, in an unhappy and volatile marriage

Sev is described, even as an adult, as being skinny - so maybe that's just how he's wired - but maybe (almost certainly given the other context clues and the era) he's also underfed as a kid

If we reach into parallels with the other 'abandoned boy' (voldemort), sev's mum was possibly similar to merope gaunt - unhappy, and either unwilling or unable to use magic to defend herself or sev against tobias (this conjecture is all from hazy memory; obviously i haven't read that far yet).

Overall ideas:

Neither Sev nor Harry have warm family figures. Far from Molly's checking that her gaggle are in order on platform 9 3/4 the Dursleys leave Harry there alone - and Eileen doesn't seem that bothered when Sev is about to leave (nor does he seem that bothered that he's about to leave her - he's more interested in Lily). But Snape’s lack of familial closeness seems a consequence of their situation, rather than an intentional choice, as it was with the Dursleys and Harry.

Sev (unlike Harry) doesn't really know 'how the other half live' - as far as we can tell, he has no access to the average family dynamic of the Dursleys (and they do seem happy with one another, they love Dudley, and would be living their 'ordinary' dream life if Harry wasn't there to complicate it). To add to that, I get the idea that Sev genuinely doesn't really understand why Lily likes (or loves) Petunia; he has no concept of why a family member’s opinion might count. There's not much love to lose in his family, and like Harry, he can’t wait to leave - there’s nothing holding him back. 

Unlike Harry who doesn’t know anything yet, Snape knows he's a wizard and has known all his life. He knows a lot about the wizarding world, either from his mother or her books; he tells Lily about it. Sev loves (as Harry comes to love) magic, and what it represents: escape, freedom, control over his life - and a certain amount of positive attention and interest from Lily which he is so clearly lacking elsewhere. 

But (sort of like Harry), his house at Spinner's End doesn't seem like the sort of place where magic was used like The Burrow, for example, or Malfoy Manor where Draco already flies ("doesn't your dad like magic?"; he’s alone in his room shooting down flies). It’s also not apparently used for defence/retaliation by his mother, if the shouting scene with Sev's father is any indication.

But (un)intentionally, depending on how you interpret Sev's actions with Petunia and the branch, Sev has displayed magic when he was angry or afraid, much like most magical children - and much like Harry.

Harry's examples are ‘sweeter’ at that age, on the whole: he shrinks an ugly jumper, grows his hair back, and jumps/flies on a roof, and removes glass from a snake enclosure in a comical scene. Sev drops a branch on someone, and they are genuinely upset and leave. (Some of this might be to do with the lighter tone of the earlier books as well).

Seeing as Petunia was fine enough to run away after the event and Lily stays friends with him, it can't have been an enormous branch. Sev seems guilty, so I'm certain that whilst he did want to retaliate (and for something to happen to Petunia), I'm not certain that he actually intended it to (or perhaps he did; I wouldn't blame him. I also really enjoy the idea that he's in control of his magic enough to cause it on purpose; I get the idea he's quite powerful, because of his learning to fly unsupported later in his life, which is no mean feat by this universe's rules, and his skills in wandless magic like Legi/Occlumency, spell creation, etc). [side note: that then opens up a can of worms for me bc how powerful is Lily if she can float/fly at nine, Harry can either Apparate or float/fly in primary school, at presumably a similar age - but those were accidental, brief 'flights' I suppose compared to Voldemort and Snape showing sustained flight during the battle of seven potters and jumping out of a Hogwarts window and flying away - but i digress).

So, while Harry’s no doormat, Severus is possibly more spiteful and reactive at that age; he's defiant when he drops a branch on Petunia, he's shooting down flies when he gets his wand, he's making disparaging noises to James, he's accusing Petunia of spying, and all of the other things people say to suggest he's always been a terrible person. I think, given the glimpses into a stressful, poverty-stricken and loveless home, possibly also abusive, that's essentially all he knows when threatened. Harry seems overwhelmingly polite to Hagrid in early PS - but then Hagrid has always been kind and almost reverential, which in turn would affect how a person responds. We mainly see Sev respond to Petunia in a similar context, and he’s nice enough to Lily, if a bit awkward and lacking in Harry’s politeness. 

I can see Sev, with his more ‘prickly’ upbringing, being more like Tom here in the same situation of not knowing he was a wizard - and acting more like ‘I knew I was special’ than ‘no, sorry, you’ve got the wrong guy’. But again, that might be because of the intersection of his personality and his upbringing - Harry, too, was defiant and neglected, though I get the feeling Sev’s general situation was more violent somehow, so it could’ve gone either way.

Diagon Alley

The next place where Harry and Sev's differences would be readily apparent would be in Diagon Alley. This is less about their similarities vs differences and more of a series of general rambles and speculation. 

Would Snape have even gone to Diagon? By which I mean, would he wear his mother's old robes to school, or get new ones? Did he have her old books? Would she have saved them for 11+ years? (books, maybe; robes, possibly not).

Assuming Sev went to Diagon, as all/most young Wizards do, I imagine that despite Sev knowing about magical culture he's rarely actually seen it in action because of my point above about his father not liking magic/anything much and his mother not using magic to defend herself - so he’s definitely not seen it on that scale. He'd be every bit as blown away as Harry was by the wonders of Diagon Alley, the shops, the brooms, the pets, the books - because his dream is finally coming true! He's on his way to Hogwarts!  

…Until it came to the buying. Young Sev has no vault overflowing with gold. He has no option to realistically contemplate buying a solid gold cauldron like Harry does, even if he might like to. He probably doesn't get a pet as a lovely going away (or in Harry's case, birthday) gift from a parental figure, and there’s no mention of a pet when Sev’s on Platform 9 ¾. Eileen would have had to save, or keep some money back/hidden, for all of that, given the state of his home and Muggle clothes.

tangent: by the time they reach the train, and even in diagon itself, sev is more of a ron than a harry. but how poor is the weasley family really if they always get plenty to eat and a lovely large home and all of their school supplies and brooms at home for so many kids on a single income, even if most stuff is secondhand? maybe i'm just biased bc I grew up poor and it was just me and mum and stuff Just Was secondhand, it's not the end of the world even if ron's embarrassed by it.

it's suggested in later books that ron's never (or rarely) owned a galleon. seven galleons then (assuming the prices are similar in sev's generation) seems a lot then for a wand; 9 galleons for a new book (advanced potion making apparently cost that, HBP); possibly it was eileen's own old book, and I know the curriculum doesn't change much if harry's still using it and the book was printed in the 50s, but in CoS, with lockhart's book(s), and the weasleys talking, suggest they'd have to have bought at least a few new books each year, so we can assume sev would need to do the same and otherwise he’d be borrowing old books. not to mention the potions ingredients, the robes, etc. I assume Sev got his own wand but what if he used his mother's old one (especially if she didn’t use it much - which would be nice/interesting, as another parallel where he takes predominantly after/aligns more strongly with his mother/female figures which was discussed in several other metas).

The other thing that struck me was that Harry wanted to buy a book of curses and jinxes (Curses and Counter-Curses: Bewitch your friends and befuddle your enemies!) for use on Dudley, but Hagrid dissuaded him - much like how Sev was described as knowing "more curses when he arrived at school than half the kids in seventh year" and maybe might want to curse his father and/or Petunia, but certainly learnt to curse the Marauders at a later stage.

The scene with Draco and Harry at Madam Malkin’s was also interesting to me when drawing conclusions for Sev. When comparing Harry’s experience on the Hogwarts Express to the robe shop, I’m curious how it would’ve differed or been the same. 

At Madam Malkin’s, Draco sees what he would’ve seen in Sev: a boy, small for his age, in hand-me-downs, with possibly weird hair - and Draco attempts to chat with him. 

Draco here, to an extent, represents any Malfoy (as we know, Lucius befriended Sev), and indeed any Pureblood, in the same situation - a boy raised in a wealthy magical family, with all of the experience of magic and privilege that comes with it. He wants a racing broom, he’s practically bored of magic, none of this is special. But it is special to Harry, and it’s special to Sev; it’s their lifeline and their escape. I’m not sure how much Sev would’ve appreciated or wanted to emulate that bored, over it attitude; on the one hand ‘no foolish wand-waving’ indicates that to an extent he’s not impressed with showy magic for the sake of it, on the other, he’s the Half Blood Prince. He’s done plenty of foolish wand-waving in his time, and finds it fascinating. 

Back to the conversation with Draco. Like Harry, Sev would not have played Quidditch (he can’t fly intuitively in the brief memory we see, being more akin to someone like Hermione or Neville in that regard); he would likely not have a broom already. He’s critical of ‘big Quidditch heroes’ - or is he jealous? He certainly enjoys Quidditch enough to have a rivalry with McGonagall, and that might be another part to why he ended up disliking James - maybe he really was jealous of James’ skill on the Quidditch pitch.

Then, Draco discusses houses. Here there’d be a slight difference between Sev and Harry - Harry has no idea, really, what house he’d be in - he doesn’t even know what the houses are. But Sev wants to be a Slytherin, he knows that already. Possibly because his mother was, furthering their similarities/alignment? It does seem to generally run in families, what with James “Gryffindor like my dad” Potter, Sirius “my whole family have been in Slytherin but maybe I’ll break the tradition” Black, and Draco “I know I’ll be in Slytherin because all of my family have been” Malfoy and, of course, the whole host of Weasleys). 

So, wanting to be in Slytherin would be a point in Sev’s favour, as far as the Malfoys were concerned, and wanting it (and possibly having a family member already in Slytherin) would be useful in that context, too, obviously.

But how would Sev react at this point to Draco’s personality? Harry is reminded of Dudley, and I’m not sure we have enough evidence to say whether Sev had someone similar in his life who bullied him (what his father did I would argue went far beyond bullying, and would be a much different dynamic). But Petunia would possibly have acted as a stand-in here, either as herself, or as a representation of the other Muggles in the area who knew ‘that Snape’ family from the poor address, for the reason of why Sev was otherwise friendless. I don’t think it’s a leap to imagine that Sev was unpopular with the other local kids.

Draco goes on to ask Harry whether his parents were “our kind” - to which Sev has a more ‘undesirable’ answer than Harry, because one of his parents was a Muggle. Draco talks of servants, and Sev probably wouldn’t have the same irritable reaction to that, as we don’t see any implication that he was treated in that way by his parents, unlike Harry. But also unlike Harry, Snape would be there with his witch mother (and not a “savage”), and knew about Hogwarts already. Unlike Harry, Snape might have been considered by Draco/the Malfoys/Purebloods as “the other sort” - the child of non-magical people. Draco asks for Harry’s surname, presumably to check whether he was of suitable stock (which Snape, with a Muggle surname, wouldn’t be).

Perhaps Sev would’ve similarly hated the snotty, biased, spoilt brat attitude.

Or perhaps, in this situation, he’d aspire to be like the Malfoys - to become the snotty, spoilt type. To be the bully, instead of the victim. Sev did eventually befriend the Malfoys, after all - but how much of that was an immediate friendship (unlikely, at that point, as Malfoy was older and what ~16yo wants to regularly hang out with an 11yo). We see that he’s possibly headed that way by 5th/6th year by aligning with Mulciber and Avery, but that was a new enough development that Lily commented on it at that point - but at this early stage, it’s made clear that Sev is ‘the victim’ of the bully, or the underdog, like Harry - and someone like Draco probably wouldn’t have thought much of him. (James and Sirius certainly didn’t, though not for these same exact reasons).

The Hogwarts Express

And finally, on the train. Harry has experienced celebrity in glimpses by now, at the Leaky Cauldron and at Ollivander’s - but it’s on the train and the platform where everyone from the Weasleys to Draco wants to gawk and/or befriend him.

I’ve said already that by the time they reach the train, and even in Diagon itself, Sev is more of a Ron than a Harry. Harry knows what it is to have hand-me-downs and not be able to afford anything, but that’s Sev’s continued existence unless his family suddenly won the lottery. And whilst Harry bought a heap of sweets and got a delightful new friend in Ron, Sev and Lily were (as discussed above) compelled to leave his cabin because of James and Sirius… just as Harry was interrupted by Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle. But it’s James who overhears Sev and interrupts and then says, practically word-for-word, what Draco does in Madam Malkins’ (James’ “Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?” vs Draco’s “Imagine being in Hufflepuff, I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?”). Now, Sev does this too, to an extent, making a small disparaging noise at James too for wanting to be in Gryffindor like his dad (to me, another hint that Sev wants to be in Slytherin because of his mum). But that was after James had already interrupted Sev’s conversation with Lily; otherwise, Sev was content to keep to himself.

And Draco is hounding Harry for opposite reasons. Draco is attempting to ‘befriend’ Harry. Harry is a ‘desirable’ connection - he’s rich, famous, of a good wizarding name, and if adult Snape’s speech to Bellatrix is any indication, possibly considered a ‘powerful dark wizard’ around which Voldemort’s followers could rally. He’s ‘got it all’. By comparison, Snape is undesirable - he has all of Harry’s social setbacks - he looks poor, he is poor, he’s raised by Muggles and has immediate Muggle heritage, he probably wasn’t raised with extensive/overly frequent magic use, and is a bit weird looking in general - and he has none of Harry’s desirable traits like a good name, reputation, money, family, or connections. “Prince” is not a famous name by the time Harry is in school, and given wizard lifespans, they probably weren’t a big name a generation ago, either. All Sev has is knowledge of the wizarding world, which might fool or impress someone like Draco for a bit. But it’s implied that Draco believes there’s a fundamental difference in how Muggleborns/those with Muggle families are raised compared to ‘true’ wizarding families (and there really is). But Sev was raised in a Muggle area, likely not using magic or being an active part of the culture since he’s so starved for someone magical to talk to - and he’s shortly going to be in a wizarding school, where Sev’s second hand knowledge (from his mother) essentially becomes inconsequential anyway.

All in all, Draco simply wouldn’t bother, if this were a different universe. And Lucius (and others in Slytherin) probably asked all of the necessary vetting questions that Malfoy did over the course of the time in the robe shop and on the train, and reached the same conclusion: Snape wasn’t worth their time. That is, until he proved himself an adept wizard, some time later in school. (To be clear if I haven’t already: Draco is just a stand-in in this ramble for general Pureblood/Slytherin beliefs, asking the sorts of questions and acting in ways that reflect those values).

What that all means is that Snape continued to face the everyday challenges that were essentially eliminated from Harry’s life once he reached Hogwarts; challenges which would’ve had greater impact in a house like Slytherin which has a reputation for blood purity and wizarding supremacy, and many people in it who hail from rich, well-connected Pureblood families who probably are all, one way or another, related by blood or marriage anyway. Lucius was a Prefect by the time Sev got to Hogwarts, and I think Draco became one, and those sorts of attitudes were shared by Draco’s Slytherin peers and not outliers. 

Some more conjecture now: I think it’s safe to say that instead of the jocular vibe of the Gryffindor common room, an unofficial but unquestioned hierarchy would inevitably develop in Slytherin and its members would be expected to fall in line. Much like how Crabbe and Goyle followed Draco, and Pansy and Blaise etc followed Draco’s lead, I expect most of Sev’s peers would be expected to fall in line under Lucius and later authority figures as well - to keep the peace in their fancy aristocratic families, to keep the peace in their dorms, and in the real world, with a war going on and Voldemort practically recruiting from the Slytherin common room. It would’ve benefitted Sev to keep his head down in these conditions, to join in, to butter up - because unlike Harry, Sev would’ve had to work hard to make friends (being generally awkward and ‘undesirable’ as a friend by Draco/Slytherin standards). Nobody from Slytherin came to his aid in SWM, possibly because of those reasons and/or because he’d spent years being openly friends with Lily who was a Gryffindor and a Muggleborn (and thus also undesirable).

Anyway none of this is news and I have no conclusion, I just had thoughts 

[thatgirlonstage]

I am seeing a bad and annoying take about all books for adults being boring circulating again so here is my plea to 1) remember that adult fiction written by people other than Ernest Hemingway and F Scott Fitzgerald exists, 2) remember that genre fiction exists and is in fact frequently written for adults, and 3) realize it is counterproductive to the goal of encouraging people to read things they enjoy to throw a different set of books under the bus

Anyway whenever people have book takes that make me mad I’ve decided the healthy response is for me to just make a rec list so here’s some books for adults that I don’t think are boring at all.

Superluminal by Vonda McIntyre. I’m going to keep banging this drum forever. Sci-fi future setting with space travel and a lot of themes of body transformation and there’s magic whales and an overwhelming love for the beauty of the universe as it stretches beyond our comprehension.

The Perilous Courts series by Tavia Lark (first book: Prince and Assassin). Six M/M romance novels set in a high fantasy world. Do you like dragons? Magic? Themes of family and loyalty and betrayal and devotion? Just enough fantasy politics to ratchet up the stakes without bogging you down in the nitty gritty? Want some sweet sweet smut scenes as the cherry on top? Check out these books they’re fucking great.

The Lost Children Archive by Valeria Luiselli. A family takes a road trip across the US, the father researching the Apache tribe, the mother looking into the disappearance of her friend’s two immigrant children who have gone missing in federal custody. I will not lie, this book is heavy, but it is also beautifully written and a really gutting exploration of the parallels and connections between historic and current struggles for survival and the atrocities that struggle is often met with.

We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian. 1950s M/M romance. Quieter and slower-paced than the other things on this list but if that’s your jam, this book is incredibly gentle. And I can’t speak for anyone else but my bisexual ass felt INCREDIBLY seen.

The Green Bone Saga by Fonda Lee (first book: Jade City). What if The Godfather was a wuxia novel.

The Gilda Stories by Jewelle Gomez. A young girl escapes slavery and is rescued by vampires. The book is composed of a series of vignettes of her life as a vampire over the centuries. It’s a really different take on vampire lore than any other book or show I know about and I really can’t recommend it enough especially if you like deconstructions of classic monsters.

[stesierra]

Writeblr ReIntro!

I'm posting a new intro because now that I've been on Writeblr a little while, I realize how much information I left out! Hi, I'm Stephanie, I live in the desert with my husband and baby and three cats, and I'm an ace, bipolar fantasy writer! When I was a kid, they said I had ADHD but then I got my Masters degree in biology, so they claim I can't have it. Online tests say I'm probably autistic.

I used to write sci fi twelve years ago but only low tech sci fi about weird aliens, which nobody likes. Now I write fantasy novels! Lots of fantasy novels! I am beginning to post them on my website so if you want to read them, please keep an eye on this post.

My books often but not always have some romance (either m/f or f/f because I prefer female protagonists.) Since I'm ace (and demiromantic), my interpretation of romance and attraction is not exactly what you'd expect from, say, a romance novel.

I am not going to tell you about all my books! I've written eighteen! Four of them are shelved forever! Here's some recent ones (written or revised since 2018) that I haven't given up on. Please ask me questions about them! I LOVE talking about my books! Also, if you want to be added to my taglist for writing samples let me know! Please also tell me if you're interested in alpha or beta reading and for which book! Mutuals only, please!

My books are beneath the cut! As I add WIP intros, I'll update this list with links.

Cast Out

YA fantasy! On her sixteenth birthday, Zisha is cast out of the Plenary Cities for the crime of being born deaf, like her grandmother before her. In the wastelands, she meets Thesil, a depressed and bitter young woman. Zisha wants nothing to do with her — until she sees Thesil's face in a vision. But before she can find out what the visions mean or reach her grandmother's holdings in the wastes, the plague returns to the Plenary Cities. If the disabled really caused the plague thirty years ago, and were cast out to stop the spread, how can it be back when all of them are outcast?

Status: Finished. Being serialized.

WIP intro here.

Now being serialized here. First five chapters up, one posted weekly.

The Bone Queen

This is my NA fantasy about the aftermath of freeing an undead queen and her skeleton army. They take over the kingdom, of course! The main character, Elise, is trapped in Bandrum palace by Aubrey, the ghost who tricked her into falling in love and freeing him (plus everyone else.) He's an animated skeleton now with plans to marry Elise and force her to carry his children. The bone queen has promised him she'll make it happen. Too bad no one cares what Elise wants. If only she had magic of her own...

Status: undergoing a rewrite after developmental edit. Was 109k before revisions. Not available for beta reading.

Draft number? Hahahaha. It has two complete sequels (The Spellbound King (106k) and The Matriarch's Daughter (96k)) I must also rewrite. This series is going to kill me but I love it. My mom, who loves everything I write, complained that it was weird. I'm very proud.

WIP intro here.

First chapter here.

School of Souls

This is my YA contemporary fantasy about a boarding school in the Bighorn Mountains! It's supposed to be a place parents can send "bad" teens to have their problems sorted out, but secretly the founder is using it to train the kids as sorcerers. Even more secretly, the school devours the souls of the students sent there, and the teenagers who graduate aren't the same as the ones who arrived... Warning: does include teenage addiction to sleeping pills and ghosts and and parental death. It's going to have sequels but I haven't written them yet.

Status: Complete first draft. 83k. Available for alpha reading.

WIP intro here.

First chapter here.

The Many-faced Princess

This is YA fantasy with a historical vibe but set in a made up world. Vaguely inspired by ancient Phoenicia. It's about Princess Ameryi, who was blessed by the genderless trickster god, Akihel, to be able to change her face. If her father the king ever found out, he'd have to execute her, of course. Akihel is just plain evil. All the other gods say so. A daughter who's their champion? Impossible. An abomination. So Ameryi will just have to make sure her father never finds out. That was easier to do before the Asirtinsa Empire threatened to invade and her father sent her to secure an alliance with a neighboring king. She's supposed to marry him. Not steal his face and frame him for murder. But sometimes plans just don't work out.

This book was supposed to be about two lesbian princesses who frame the king for murder so they can elope, but both princesses decided to be ace and there was nothing I could do.

Status: Complete first draft. 83k. It's going to have sequels but I haven't written them yet. Available for alpha reading.

First chapter here.

Map here.

Court Phoenix

This is my NA fantasy! Kerra is a blacksmith's apprentice. Not because she wants the job, but because her mother sold her future to him when she was still a toddler who crawled into live fires and giggled as the flames consumed her clothes. Now she's a woman, trapped by the expectations of her family and her village. Until one day, a phoenix crash-lands and dies in her arms. When it's reborn, it chooses Kerra as its keeper. Soon, her dreary future is swept away. A princess from Skyfire, the moving city, offers her a job in the royal court. How could Kerra refuse? Her family's claims that she'll die if she ever leaves the village are just manipulative lies. Aren't they?

Status: Complete third draft. 104k. Available for beta reading.

First chapter here.

The Revenant Trilogy

Adult fantasy. Solving a murder should bring good fortune, but all it brings Mindral Thideet is disaster. Her fame and peaceful life as head researcher at the city of knowledge end abruptly. In retaliation for her investigation into his crimes, Payar Cheref, the head of the powerful Cheref family, burns her beloved cousins alive and scars her face. The scar marks her as a revenant, a body possessed by a godkin, one of the gods' evil children. Her life as a researcher is over. All that's left is revenge.

No one believes her when she denies that godkins have any power over her. But godkins, real ones, are far closer than she realizes. Tearing down Payar Cheref could destroy Mindral, her family, and the nation itself.

-The Halfway Revenant (rewriting draft 4) 120k. Not available for beta reading.

-The Soul-Seer (draft 2) - 130k

-The Godkin's Gambit (draft 2) 121k

First chapter here.

As Immortality Fades

Adult fantasy. Five hundred years ago, one of the immortal and unpredictable Valteifur visited the kingdom of Kathild and granted the young queen Nelone immortality. But there was a catch. She'd live forever, youthful and strong, just so long as her subjects were happy. For centuries, she's met her part of the deal. But when the Valteifur returns to check on her progress, he grants her a new gift: the resurrection of every single person in Kathild who's died in the last two hundred years. Then he disappears.

There aren't enough houses for them all. There's not enough food. And winter is here.

Status: Complete first draft. 98k. Available for alpha reading.

Bi MC, enemies to lovers.

First chapter here.

Stitches and Memories

This one's adult fantasy. Antea's father ripped her mind apart, left her for dead, and vanished twelve years ago, and she's going to find out why. But when constables try to kill her and strange truth magic grows inside of her, hunting her father starts to look like suicide. Too bad going home isn't an option.

Status: I exchanged this with a critique partner and now it embarrasses me. Fourth draft. 122k. Available for beta reading.

Trigger warning: magic seizures

First chapter here.

WIP intro here.

Triangle Park

Contemporary Fantasy. I have no idea who it's for. An elf exiled to the middle of nowhere ends up stuck with an unexpected child. It's about reluctant parenting and protecting the needy. And elves and faeries slumming it in a mobile home.

Status: Complete first draft. 86k. Available for alpha reading.

First chapter here.

Mud-Child

Adult fantasy. Rebeka has always heard that a woman who goes through menopause loses her spark (the magic that lets her create children). If she's had children, it just makes the neighbors a little more fertile. But Rebeka never wanted a man, and she never wanted to raise a child. Not since her twin sister died and her beloved Suza left her for a man. The problem is, the spark leaves a childless woman differently, everyone says. A bitter hag? She'll curse her neighbors. A sweet dim biddie? She'll give her spark to inanimate objects and create a monster. Rebeka doesn't know which she is, but she believes it's a myth.

That was before the clay in her clay pit woke up and called her mother.

Status: Third draft. 109k. Needs a rewrite! Not available for beta reading.

First chapter here.

WIP intro here.

I GUESS I'M WRITING A NEW BOOK

The Giant's Gamble

First chapter here.

I started writing this on Friday the 13th, 2023. LET'S SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES TO WRITE WITH A BABY.

Short stories

The Unfamous Dead

VERY OLD CRAP

The Scribe and the Sphinx

Adult historical fantasy

Status: second draft. Shelved for good. 85k.

The Adrift series

The River's Drift. 100k.

The Waking Mountain. 106k.

Low-tech alien sci fi. Shelved for good.

My first book whose name I forget. About 50k. Exists only as a hard copy in my parents' house.

Taglist so far (tell me if you want to be added or removed)

Tag list for everything

@harleyacoincidence

@anonymousfoz

@moremysteriesthantragedies

@elizababie

@sm-writes-chaos

@bellascarousel

@the-dragon-chronicler

@teacupsandstarlight

@vorskra

@wrenofthewords

@amostdelectablescribbler

@mysticstarlightduck

@phantommill

@gracewritesbooks

@aziz-reads

@owlsandwich

@symbioticsimplicity

@squarebracket-trick

@koala2all

@rmgrey-author

@atomatowriter

@cheerfulmelancholies

@delusionisaplace

@janec23

@writing-is-a-martial-art

@authortango

Just chapters and snippets

@da-na-hae

For The Many-faced Princess

@deadlyessencewhispers

@serenanymph

The Halfway Revenant

@acertainmoshke

For Stitches and Memories

@space-writes

@acertainmoshke

The Bone Queen

@janec23

@holdmyteaplease

@digital-chance

@thecrookedwriterspath

@tea-and-mercury

@coven-archives

I love you all!

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

Now that submissions are closed, we can talk stats. There were 881 valid, unique submissions for 474 characters! Woof, women have it rough out there!

The most submitted characters, with a relevant propaganda snippet included, are:

1. Sakura Haruno (Naruto): 28 [where do i even fucking begin]

2. Cordelia Chase (Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel): 21 [OH SO MANY THINGS]

3. Misa Amane (Death Note): 20 [The author of Death Note invented new forms of misogyny just to apply them to Misa.]

4. Kaede Akamatsu (Danganronpa V3): 15 [Oh, you thought we would have a female main character in one of our mainline games? With a cool defining talent, no less? That's stupid of you]

5. TIE: Kairi (Kingdom Hearts): 14 [I'm so mad. I think she deserves a gun.]

5. TIE: Stephanie Brown (DC Comics): 14 [She does eventually get retconned as surviving the event and hiding out in Africa (don't ask, it does not make more sense in context)]

The canons with the most submissions, with a relevant propaganda snippet included, are:

1. DC Comics: 61 [DC has SO MUCH sexism it's laughable]

2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel: 35 [Fuck Joss Whedon, man.]

3. Naruto: 33 [because Kishimoto hates women]

4. Warrior Cats: 26 [Warriors is one of the most misogynistic children's series I've ever seen]

5. Danganronpa: 25 [I honestly had to think about it just to decide which woman is treated the worst because this series hates them so much]

The canons with the most characters submitted, with a relevant propaganda snippet for a specific character included, are:

1. DC Comics: 21 [Free her from the huge tits back breaking pose.]

2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel: 12 [Anyways she was so hot and for what. 10/10 my lesbian awakening.]

3. Supernatural: 11 [Yeah, she got randomly killed off-screen for shock value and manpain, but she sent an email right before she died so at least her death wasn't in vain, right?]

4. TIE: Star Trek: 9 [She literally gets teleported out of her clothes in one episode.]

4. TIE: Yu-Gi-Oh!: 9 [One loss is particularly brutal as she falls from a large height directly onto her head and goes into a coma (again. yes this was the second time).]

5. TIE: Warrior Cats: 8 [I'm sure she'll get submitted again just ask any reasonable fan they'll tell you about her and her sister]

5. TIE: Attack on Titan: 8 [As a child soldier, she does commit some war crimes]

And here are some charts to show how some of these entries fucked the scale on my charts:

Look at Sakura, fucking up my chart with her numbers.

On a similar note...

Good god, DC, I know what you did, but add fucking up my charts to your list of crimes.

And now, enjoy some rankings of my favorite things:

My favorite universal sentiment quotes from propaganda are:

She lived she served cunt and then she got killed off super early so that the male characters could experience man pain and also because I guess she would have been too powerful if left alive. [Wen Qing (Mo Dao Zu Shi)]

That design. Dear god. I don't want to live on this planet anymore. [Mitzi (The Queen's Corgi)]

In the end she may have girlbossed too close to the sun, but I support her anger. [Ling Wen (Heaven Official's Blessing)]

the victim of “writer doesn’t understand women and also hates them” disease. [Naomi Misora (Death Note)]

She could 100% kill somebody but nobody ever effing lets her. Rip queen. [Kairi (Kingdom Hearts)]

My favorite raging at a writer quotes from propaganda are:

1. You took every single protagonist to weird lion heaven, Clive, but suddenly Susan isn't good enough. [Susan Pevensie (The Chronicles of Narnia)]

2. Being a woman written by Joss Whedon should automatically entitle her to financial compensation tbh. [River Tam (Firefly)]

3. A lot can be summed up in a couple words, namely, "Furman, why?" [Arcee (Transformers)]

4. Can you tell respect women juice ran in Tolstoy's veins. [Lise Bolkonskaya (War and Peace)]

5. TIE: (specifically a guy called Dan Didio, who we all hate) [Stephanie Brown (DC Comics)]

5. TIE: until Geoff motherfucking Johns comes into the picture [Pantha (DC Comics)]

My favorite quotes from propaganda that have nothing to do with misogyny, y'all are just funny:

I wish I could use bold here, because there's no such thing as uppercase numbers. [Arcee (Transformers)]

the most convoluted and lore dense piece of media this side of the afton criticality. [Jane Crocker (Homestuck)]

ended up starting a gang war by accident [Stephanie Brown (DC Comics)]

Ashfur, who later turns out to be a murderous incel [Squirrelflight (Warrior Cats)]

Hawkfrost is actively seeing Brambleclaw and his evil father in cat hell. [Squirrelflight (Warrior Cats)]

[willicewc]

Just a quick drawing of my Lionblaze is Scourge's reincarnation au :) I am still sick so the drawing is a bit wonky here and there.....

This au is still a vague concept and everyone is free to interpret it or create their own story line with it ! It's mainly made to make Lionblaze more revelant as a character, I liked the idea of him having the power to be "impossible to defeat in battle", and at the same time, be the reincarnation of the one of most deadly cats in the series !

So what if Scourge's new chance at life - being Lionblaze - turned out to be not that much of a good idea ?

Starclan "rant" ahead !

Starclan is often a bit weird when they give out powers and prophecies, such as lying to Squirrelflight about being infertile so that she would adopt the Three. ...Or forcing Jayfeather to become a medicine cat against his will, going literally against their decision to reincarnate Cinderpelt so that she would become a warrior because she was made a medicine cat against her will ??? If we follow Starclan's logic, then Jayfeather would have to then be reincarnated to become a warrior because his dream to become a warrior was cut short by Starclan ITSELF ???

Anyway, Starclan being so strange about its decisions, it would be right up its alley to make Scourge's reincarnation have a power to give him a full chance at bettering himself, just like how Brambleclaw was given the chance to kill off Firestar to become leader, and chose to kill Hawkfrost instead.

Knowing that Lionblaze's main inner conflict is the fear of losing control and killing people against his will, being Scourge's reincarnation would make that way more difficult. What if Scourge had genuinely always been a horrible person ? What if Scourge was meant to be terrible in every single timeline, Tigerpaw or not ? Would Lionblaze be able to fight off this strange, tingling need for blood ? Starclan really be testing my boi Lionblaze in this au.

But anyway I hope you enjoy that small sketch! It's not much, but it's honest work lol ! :)

Oh, also, sorry for the Starclan rant again, I feel like I keep ranting about Starclan but Starclan is such a strange mecanic in Warriors ??? Like they go against their very own concepts at some points (the cinderpelt/jayfeather point...), not even counting the fact that they would let Ashfur in Starclan when he threatened to KILL three cats just because Squirrelflight friendzoned him years before wtf??? Or sending Frecklewish to the Dark Forest??? I might make a full written post to talk about Starclan because Starclan is a really weird plot device and they can't seem to keep track of what they are doing. Such as : Let's forbid the medicine cats from having kits. But let's give the children of Crowfeather and Leafpool some powers. Why would Starclan give powers to children that are born against their own values ???

Idk man Starclan is really weird sometimes and I wish they were more... Logical ? Maybe these are just neatpick ? If you have anything to add, if you agree or not, feel free to tell me ! :)

(Also should I write Starclan as a "it" or as a "they" ? I am a bit confused so I used both on this text !)

[mamuzzy]

— Is “psycho” a slur? —

My easiest answer to this question: ASK IF A REAL PERSON IS OKAY TO BE CALLED A PSYCHO. If not, then you are not calling the person with ASPD, BPD, or any other PD a psycho.

Listen to the people with personality disorders, not the people who claim they are allys so they call everything ableist that can hurt our pretty sensitive disabled heart. There is a chance that someone is made the label their own. And someone is not okay with it. No, you don't make a fucking a poll where everyone can vote, and even the neighbours cat can puke on the reblog button. YOU TALK TO A REAL PERSON, YOU ASK. End of story.

Personality disorders and especially Antisocial Personality Disorder are often associated to “being a psycho”.

And you especially met with this term in RepComm while reading.

“EWWWW REPCOMM AND KAREN TRAVISS AND KAL SKIRATA IS FUCKIGN ABLEIST DON’T READ IT OR YOU’LL BECOME ABLEIST YOURSE-“

When I mention TODAY to someone that I have personality disorder, people are being like: okay and you are eating that with fork or spoon?

You call out ableism because you heard it somewhere that being called a psycho is ableist, and calling out ableism gives you browney points on tumblr.

“Psycho” is not a slur. Sometimes not even the self-diagnosed psyhopaths know about the existence of the term of ASPD (that's how personality disorders are not in every speech!!!), they just now that something is wrong, because they always hit walls around people. Psycho or sociopath was the closest that you could name this condition in the early 2000's.

Nulls being called a psycho is not Kal Skirata’s elaborate trick to enslave the nulls or whatever the fuck anti-kal people comes up with. People with pd-s are mostly self-aware. Being always fucking self-aware is why we know that we don’t fit in.

Someone with personality disorder is extremely important to be self-aware, that's why name-erasing, mental-health erasing cause more harm. You don't say shit like to a pd that "you are completely normal, there is nothing wrong with you, carry on" because the next time we actually do something mentally ill™, you will be the first to call us "fucking psychos".

(yeah. I know. so much we, and them, and us, like I'm one with ASPD too, I'm trying to figure if I have more personality disorder than BPD, and probably have.)

In this age where everything is within reach via internet, people truly forget that media is accessible written by different generations, and when I see younger people engaging with the Republic Commando series TODAY in 2024 with today’s tumblr sensitivity standards, I think: vod. Are you aware that the first book came out in 2004, TWENTY YEARS AGO? The accessibility to everything is great but it totally messes up the ability to see TIME CONTEXT. And this time blindness can truly mess up communication between different generations too, causing rifts and we end up invalidating other’s experiences if we are not careful.

“But there were more progressive books even before 2004” - Probably. Only we didn’t have an entire library of progressive labels of genders, sexuality, phobias and MENTAL ILLNESSES AND CONDITIONS.

Not in everyday speech. If no one talks about it, you won't know the concept. You don't know how to ask questions aside from "what's wrong with me?"

WATCH OUT! SLURS INCOMING!!!!

In the early 2000’s and before if your teachers hated you, your parents weren’t educated (or just didn’t care), or your parents themselves never got proper treatment for their neurodivergency, there is chance that YOU ALSO didn’t have a chance to get a proper diagnosis for different types of neurodivergency as a child.

children with dyscalculia were called lazy.

children with dyslexia were called retards who can't even read.

children who were fine playing alone were the weird ones.

autistic people? You mean rain man? Or those braindead retards shitting themselves and throwing fits and should have been euthanized if their parents had any love for them? Oh no you are not autistic, stop being oversensitive to noises and shit and people bullying you for your special interests is not bullying, they are just trying to involve you sweetheart.

ADHD? Problem children with behavior issues.

Antisocial Personality Disorder? Psychos. Problem children. HOOLIGANS. DEVIANTS.

Sounds familiar? No? Then I am truly happy for you.

People like to use this quote to prove that the Nulls didn’t have mental illnesses, it’s just Kal who spread the rumors about them, and the Nulls weren’t more than your ordinary bad behaving children. Because Vau is an outsider, therefore more reliable and objective narrator about the Nulls and because fuckkalskirataingeneral. Yeah. Sure. But we are talking about Walon Vau.

Walon “my father beat the living shit out of me as a child but I turned out fine” Vau.

These kind of abused people In real life with the exact same mentality tell you that you don’t have a problem, you are just oversensitive. You don’t need therapy, you just have to man up. Don’t take pills because pills are for pussies. YOU DON’T HAVE MENTAL ILLNESS, YOU ARE JUST A BAD CHILD. Generational trauma is fucking shit and affects everybody.

Walon Vau alone deserves a separate post about his non-existent mental health. And Sev, now that he was mentioned here. Sev is especially heartbreaking, seeing how Nulls as psychos are treated, and how Sev as a psycho is treated in the books.

This blurb is born from the thought that the Nulls are having Antisocial Personality Disorder and I’ve come to this conclusion because they are constantly called psychos, the most common label people used for this kind of behavior patterns they show throughout the series.

ASPD or Antisocial Personality Disorder and the usage of this name is encouraged in scientific circles because the symptoms and traits of psychopathy can’t be measured objectively anymore. Psychopathy is a neurological/hormonal condition, but no longer its own sickness, because other non-related disorders, diseases and illnesses can mimic the symptoms of psychopathy for eg.: DEMENTIA.

If you ever wonder how can a 80 years old person who never showed any sign of aggression before just go and brutally kill their neighbor for a sole treebranch hanging over the fence and littering the garden with leaves, there is a chance that something is not alright in the brain anymore.

Emotions developed healthy with healthy self-restraints and and self-control will not let you do socially unacceptable things like killing to solve problems, just because your brain tells you: BASH THEIR FUCKING SKULL WITH A ROCK.

Every emotional response are hormones and neurotransmitters in work. Brain is responsible to give the appropriate response to each situation we are facing. If you have hormonal problems, or neurological conditions, different brain structure than a neurotypical people, there is a chance, that these responses are not working as they are intended, you will have different or more extreme emotional responses to things, or not having at all.

So that is why we don’t use the terms of psychopath today as an individual sickness, because PSYCHOPATHY ITSELF IS A SYMPTOM of various conditions! People with psychopathy, the “psychos” are usually on the spectrum of ASPD.

So again, repeat after me like I'm Dora the explorer who put you on gunpoint:

ASK IF A REAL PERSON WITH ASPD IS OKAY WITH BEING CALLED A PSYCHO. IF NOT, YOU DON'T CALL THE PERSON PSYCHO. END OF STORY.

[the-owl-tree]

there’s something kind of poetic abt the she-cats of this series losing faith in + never really being favored by starclan or being considered for anything outside of their male counterparts who never really need to be tested (of course there’s some cases I just can’t think of any atm) and just being tossed aside when they’re done being used vs the men getting powers, leadership and rewarded with she-cats and children as possessions. I don’t think the erins meant to write it this way, but it’s kind of interesting how the girls see the ugly, cruel, borderline malicious side and even recognize it vs the guys who never really have to. like society told through the lens of men vs the reality told through women. it’s so interesting but!! we never see that get touched on!! gotta recognize and infer on our own :/ wish warriors was written with more care tbh

some of the most compelling characters in warriors being she-cats simply because the narrative is so hard on them, refuses to let them get with anything, and how they constantly have to persist despite the literal writers putting every obstacle in front of them is good and yet painful because it's unintentional.

but there's also. like. okay hear me out. there's this weird unintentional underlying acknowledgement of misogyny in the series. but because the authors think that it's like....natural to irl it will never be acknowledged. "a she-cat's purpose is to have children", berrynose going "ugh WOMEN", multiple plotlines of how she-cats can't juggle both their careers and their children - like....what is going on here. why in the world are you hinting that structural misogyny exists and yet the only way they acknowledge it is as though it's a fucking natural part of their world. what is going on here. i know it's because the writing team time and time again has proved they have very warped notions of the family, of parents, and of relationships but it's just one of those head scratchers to me.

[emotelizardrambling]

Okay, so the idea was what if the BitterSweet Trio were friends as kids.

Because I have an all-consuming need to make things more complicated, my brain decided to come up with an entire alternate storyline to BitterSweet, where the roles are kind of reversed, and then build a childhood friends/rivals, to pining ot3, to lovers plotline...

This is the first part of it.

CW: mentioned domestic abuse, mentioned drastic personality change of romantic partner, mentioned (implied) mental illness requiring medication, cursing

Notes:

Background written up in a post here, but short version is:

SB was best friends with Seth and Frenemies with Alphonse when they were growing up.

SB was forced to leave without saying goodbye to Seth or Alphonse and remained separated from the two until sometime (less than a year) after Al's parents died, when they ran into Seth.

Shit with Derek didn't happen in this universe.

Seth and Al never worked for the gang in this universe and are still together after Al takes over the shop. (They still had some dealings with the gang and did meet Charlie through those.)

SB has an emotional support cat named Shade who is absolutely best boy and very smart.

While SB, Shade, and SB's partner are my brain children everyone else is from YuuriVoice's BitterSweet series. So all rights are his.

No beta we die like Derek did before he had a chance to fuck up the boys' lives in this universe.

End notes.

“Hello, this is the Corner Store.”

It's strange to hear a voice on the other end that sounds so much like Al's dad, but also clearly isn't. It sounds nothing like the boy they knew as a kid, but…

“Alphonse?” SB asked hesitantly, not certain they had even remembered the number correctly. 

“Speaking,” he responded, and SB was relieved for a moment, until he asked, “who ’s this?” 

“I…” SB suddenly realized they had no clue why they actually called the shop. What were they even hoping anyone could do for them? This whole mess had nothing to do with Al or Seth or anyone else, but at the same time SB couldn’t bring themself to just hang up. They searched for words, “I…. I’m sorry… I don’t,” SB was cut off by their own sob before they even realized they were crying. Shade rubbed against their foot trying to soothe his person. “I… he broke my phone… I … I don’t know any other numbers,” they tried to explain. 

“Okay, hey, it’s okay,” Alphonse spoke gently, “just take it slow, take a breath.” 

SB tried, but only managed a cough that made their cat urgently nudge their legs. 

“Slow breaths. In …. Hold…. Out… with me okay.”  Al talked them through enough breaths to ease their panic a little. They also crouched to pet Shade which helped.

“That’s it, can you tell me your name?” he asked more hesitantly this time. 

With their breath mostly back they couldn’t really control the torrent of words they let out. “Fuck. I’m sorry, I call you out of nowhere and I’m just crying like an idiot, standing in an old phone booth that smells like weed and piss, with my cat at… I don’t even know what time it is, and the only person I can even call is my childhood best friend’s boyfriend, ‘cause I never bothered to memorize anyone’s phone number and even if I did I…”

Alphonse cut them off. “Boo?” It had been years since they had been called that. You play the ghost dude a few times in Mario Kart… but they had to admit, right now, they welcomed the familiar nickname.

“I… yeah… it’s me. You can hang up if you want. I… fuck I don’t even know why I called to begin with. I mean even if Seth was there or something, what would either of you even do? I should have just waited till he calmed down, or, or left or something.” SB continued to ramble until Al cut in again. 

“Woah,  hey, Boo!” he called for their attention. “Hey, it’s okay, I’m not gonna hang up on ya, just… what the hell is goin’ on? ‘Cause what I’m hearing is that you’re hiding out from somebody in a phone booth with your cat.” 

“I… well… kind of, yeah. I’m not really hiding, I just,” they attempted to clarify but trailed off knowing it would sound bad. “How did it get to be such a mess?” they ask themself. They were still processing the last half hour or so in their head. Their partner had been off for weeks, his brother was fairly sure he stopped taking his medication, and when SB tried to ask him about it he would just insist they drop it. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” 

“I… I went a few blocks and this is like one of those phone boxes with a door, I figured I could put shade down without worrying about him running away or something. I had some change in my pocket but I couldn’t remember any phone numbers…”

“I mean, before that. Why are you in a phone booth with your cat? Are you hurt? Is someone trying to hurt you?” 

They took a few more breaths, They didn’t want to explain it all to Al, Seth had talked about how much Al had grown up since they were kids, so they didn’t really think that he would be an asshole about it, but they knew if it had to do with them, Al would tell Seth. Seth who, ever since elementary school, looked out for them as if they were family, who may well assume the worst case scenario, considering his own experiences. “I’m not hurt… or, well, not really…” They absently rubbed their arm. My partner… he isn't like this. He stopped taking his meds, and then, tonight, he saw that I was texting Seth and somehow he thought that meant I was cheating on him, even though I told him about Seth before, and even that you two were together.” 

“Did he try to hurt you?” 

“He… I don’t think he meant to, but I’ve never seen them like that before. There was yelling, and he threw my phone down. Then he grabbed my arm and I panicked, Shade scratched his leg and, before he could do anything else, I grabbed Shade and locked myself in the bathroom. I… I don’t do well when I feel trapped though, so I climbed out of the window and made it a couple blocks before I even stopped to think… I don’t even know if he realizes I left.” 

“Fuck, okay, look I’ll… shit it’ll take me at least half an hour to get there.” 

“What? No you don’t have to do anything I just…” 

“Even if you hung up right now I’d be heading into the city to look for ya, you shouldn't have to be alone after something like that.” he must have sensed they were about to argue, so he added, “And let’s not even mention what Seth would do if I told him and didn’t already have a plan for getting you out of there safely. He'd probably rather go get you himself, but I can’t imagine that cat of yours would enjoy riding a motorcycle.” 

“Look I appreciate it, but it really isn’t that big of a deal.” 

“Well if it isn’t a big deal I’ll just drive over there and check on you. Or,” Al’s tone wavered a little, “I mean, if this is about me being… well… me, I can get Seth to…”

“No!” SB cut him off. “I mean, it isn’t that. I don’t mind you. I just…” 

“Great, is there anywhere nearby where you could hang out for half an hour? Somewhere that maybe doesn’t smell like piss and weed? A public place, a coffee shop, or restaurant?” 

“I… I doubt it, and even then I have Shade, and I don’t have his harness or carrier or anything.” 

“Right, okay, where are you? 

“I… I’m near the corner of 8th and Kennedy drive.” 

“Okay, listen, I got a… well, I know a guy. Pretty sure he still lives around there and he… he’s kinda a rat bastard to be honest, but he’s harmless and scared shitless of me n’ Seth. He owes us a few favors too so, if you’re okay with it, I could call him to meet up with you. I don’t like the idea of you sitting alone for so long, and I can ask him to find something to keep your cat from running off so you aren't stuck in a phone booth.” 

The last part was the most enticing. It really did smell and SB didn't do great with really strong smells. “Yeah, okay. I mean you really don’t….” 

“I want to help. Hell, even if I didn’t owe you for all the dumb-ass shit I did when we were in school, you’re Seth’s best friend, and I know you deserve a lot better than all this. Now I'm gonna call my guy and let Seth know what’s up. I’ll be there in a little over half an hour. If that ‘partner’ of yours shows up you call the fucking cops on his ass or something. You hear me?” 

“I… Yeah. Thank you, Alphonse.” 

“No problem Boo. I’ll see ya soon alright?” 

“Yeah. I’ll see you soon.” 

—

[milgram-tournament]

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 1, Match 4 HALF vs. MAGIC

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for HALF:

kazui may just be an old gay man but HE CAN SING.

its. literally stunning.

like aside from his character and everything else, half is just really really beautifully written

THE INSTRUMENTALS.

HIS V O I C E??? its so pretty

heartbreaking lyrics. i dont love kazui as a character but i have bawled to half

GAY RIGHTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love amane but she will undoubtedly win when her purge march poll rolls around, so lets let the old man have a win shall we?

---

half propaganda let's goooo sorry i'm sobern't in true kazui style so this probably won't make a bit of sense

theatre kid man. i love him, incredible mv.

this song is pure ASMR to me

visually aligned with Cat and it's so lovely to see that continuity

the GRAINY MOVIE DOTS THING ON THE MV <3

kazui is so dramatic. i love him i love him

dapper gentleman. such clothes

the key change is so well done

AND THE . THE PART WITH THE. THE ENDING SORT OF LYRICS OVERLAID WITH SPEAKING. and then his quieter singing and, and, and o h my god. im sorry. im not very coherent abt this rn

every part of the song is amazing but once it gets to the key change and after it keeps stepping up the amount of being perfect

kazui is in it

um

kazui is in it

go my psionic warriors vote for everyone's favourite failhusband

no children were tortured in the making of this MV (cough looking at You magic)

---

Allow me to present my Half propaganda!

- The slower tempo adds a very relaxing feeling to the song. Kinda ironic, but I like it! It sort of reminds of old indie songs from 2012 (especially with what I think is whistling added in the instrumental in-between chorus and verses.)

- Kazui’s voice. Enough said.

- It’s very easy to listen to, and I find it’s one of the only songs from Milgram that I like to listen to out of context (besides After Pain, Backdraft, and Purge March, oddly enough.)

- The MV is rife with imagery, and is used to beautiful effect. It really makes you feel for Kazui and his situation.

- The scene with him and Hinako before the key change… that makes me so emo.

- The overlapping part at the end… the lyrics combined with the dialogue in the background makes me really sad in a way I can’t explain.

Propaganda for MAGIC:

MAGIC MY BELOVED MAGIC!!! Its one of the best MVs in the entire series, even including T2. Magic is visually stunning and has some fantastic art direction but also is very clever in how it conveys its themes and ideas. Magic doesn't really hide anything from you, not really. It's all symbolic but it Tells You Things. It shows you the abuse, it shows you the cat. There's a fun little relationship going on here where, In Magic. Amane's pain and suffering isn't taken seriously by the people around her and the Audience we are discouraged to take it at face value due to the fictionalized nature of Magic. It's so cool. I'm so fond of the song as well, it's one of the best in the series purely cause of the Layers in it. The implications of this Inability to be good is seeped into Magic. Amane knows this isn't reality, Magic knows it's a show, she watches it at the end. And it's so Sad to me that even in her fictionalized happy world she Cannot be a good girl. It's a standard completely out of reach for her and that idea is just conveyed so well visually.

Im not even talking about the goddamn cat yet- the cat symbolism goes Deep. That cat is HER it has the same wounds Amane has in Purge March. I- I cant talk about the intertextuality of Purge March and Magic here this is Magic propaganda only- I- there's so much good stuff to Magic. I Re watched it over and over again. It has some the Best Writing and Visual Communication in Milgram and I will Die on this Hill.

---

shoutout to magic for having pretty props AND being vague as fuck about the crime! diversity win!

seriously though amane looks SO cute in it! the mv has such a pretty and colorful style and even with that it's able to show the horrors of what amane went through.

adding onto my last point. that scene where the cat is hyperventilating and you see the camera shaking???? that scene where the mascots find amane helping the cat and they're all standing over her? CHILLS. im repeating myself but the fact that they were able to portray the awful things amane went through in a genuinely emotional way while still keeping the cute cartoon look is soo impressive

there are SO many layers to itill the entire cartoony style making it look like a tv show… utilizing the cartoony effects and bright colors to show amane downplaying her own pain… the transformation after she gets punished barely changing anything to show just how manipulated she was from the start… ueueueue

ALSO ALSO ALSO THE SCENE AT THE END WITH AMANE STARING AT THE SCENE? OHHH ITS SO GOOD it adds such a feeling of dread and reminds you on top of this whole thing that all of this is truly horrifying! something is going on here!

this song is so catchy it gets stuck in my head CONSTANTLY

"Dear wise one, Am I worthy? Is it ok to spoil myself?" AMANE... UEUEUUEUE

the little ding sound effects in the instrumental?????

amanes voice is ADORABLE

THE INSTRUMENTAL IN THAT PART WHERE SHES HELPING THE CAT HAS THAT GODLY TYPE SOUND YOUD TYPICALLY ASSOCIATE WITH CHURCHES AND STUFF AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT PROPERLY BUT JUST RELISTEN TO IT AND YOU WILL KNOW WHAT I MEAN. ITS SUCH A NEAT DETAIL

i could go on about this mv for days but i am not a theorist unfortunately. just. magic sweep

[beybladefanboy]

Metal Fury Has The Weakest Villains

After thinking about it, I have to admit that as much as I love Fury and still consider it my favorite season of Beyblade, one thing Fusion and Masters have over it (besides a better written Kyoya, still the only problem I have with Fury that majorly affects my enjoyment) are the villains. Aside from Johannes, who is very memorable and honestly does way too much of the heavy-lifting for a henchman, Fury's villains are really forgettable.

Starting with Fusion:

Its main villains are definitely Ryuga and Doji but I'll throw Reiji in as well since despite being in fewer episodes than some of Fury's villains, he's far more memorable than them.

Reiji, along with Doji and Ryuga are very memorable villains. I remember their goals, their beys, how they battle, how they look and sound, and just who they are in general even when it's been a long time since I've seen the series. Destructive purple dragon, giant torture snake, and wolf that drags people into darkness are just very distinct. These characters' goals are very simple. However, I will always remember the way Doji and Ryuga go about those goals by manipulating notable characters like Yu, Testuya, Tobio, and Ryutaro into the Dark Nebula to ultimately just use them and all the ripple effects that causes. Not to mention the way Reiji is merely Doji's sadistic puppet, the way he gleefully and viciously tortures children, his breakdowns that they never properly utilized, all of that sticks in my mind and creates a set of very memorable villains.

Masters, while less iconic, also does its main villains really well.

Ziggurat is probably the most realistic villain in the entire series. Slight goofiness and generic design aside, a mad scientist who's so concerned with whether or not he can do something that he didn't stop to think if he should is very rooted in reality and quite frankly, that's terrifying. And like Doji, Ziggurat also manipulates Bladers into his cause like Damian, Jack, and Zeo, the last of which causes so much interesting conflict for Masamune and Toby. Damian and Jack as well, while technically "henchmen" too, are very memorable thanks to how they look and how they fight. Like the Fusion villains, Peacock the Ripper and dog who drags people into hell are memorable and interesting. Plus the way Ziggurat swayed characters from earlier in the series to join his cause like the Garcias and Julian, and the ripple effect that especially the latter caused was very engaging to watch, and similar to Fusion with the Dark Nebula, makes even the henchmen interesting.

And then there's Fury.

Johannes, I think, is actually done well. He's, despite fandom perception, actually competent as a henchman, knowing when it would be most optimal for his plans to flee or fight and cleverly swaying both Aguma and Chris to his side with just his words. He's also got a distinct look and way of acting in and out of battle. "Cat boy thingy" is memorable, if on the silly side.

The other Fury villains though...

While it's cool that Pluto works in the shadows and wears a mask most of the season, he doesn't have anything besides that to make him stand out like these other villains do. Often when I rewatch Fury, I only remember he's the masked man after he takes his mask off and when he does, he just becomes some guy to me. He doesn't do much outside of the big semi-final battle when he uses his special move to separate the legendary bladers and prevent them from making Zeus's Barrier, which is cool and engaging in the moment but easy to forget about when I'm not actively watching those episodes. It's more memorable because of how Kenta breaks through it and saves the day rather than anything Pluto does.

And then Rago...

Rago just sucks. I'm sorry. He's again just some guy who showed up out of nowhere when the villains literally brought in to control Nemesis. Yeah, I know Reiji was also kind of just "some guy who showed up" but him never being seen before (even by others in the Dark Nebula) was something that was used to add to his creepiness and intimidation factor, and build up the feeling of uneasiness throughout his battle with Hyoma. Plus, Reiji was basically kept in the Dark Nebula's basement prior to "showing up", not off some undisclosed somewhere in the world like Rago was.

What else is there to Rago? Well, he killed Ryuga... rest in peace, legend.

That and the whole "copied bey spirits" thing (which admittedly is a really cool visual) are the most memorable things Rago does honestly. He's also, I think, descended from the original controller of Nemesis. Or maybe that's Pluto. I don't know. They blend together in my mind so I can never remember which is his descendant when I'm not actively watching Fury.

Hell, for that matter, I can't remember anything about either of these characters when I'm not actively watching Fury. Who are they? Why do they want to destroy the world? Who are they outside of that goal? How do their actions (not Johannes's) affect the main cast?

For Fusion and Masters' villains, I, and probably you reading this, can answer all these questions easily.

For two random examples from each:

-Doji likes orange juice, uses a Dark Wolf, hates cacti and childrens' happiness and is a manipulative sociopath who wants to use the dark power to take over the world.

-Damian is a brainwashed germaphobic child who uses a Kerbecs bey and believes using the arrangement system is the best and only way to become a powerful blader.

Hell, I can even do this for Johannes in Fury: He likes cats, using a Lynx bey with different spin track lengths, is a bit of a weirdo and a coward, and believes in Nemesis's cause to destroy the world and bring about a newer better world.

Pluto and Rago don't have any traits like these that make them stand out. I'm not saying they need to be silly but my god give them something. Or at least consolidate them into one character. Why couldn't Pluto just be the one to control Nemesis and maybe be unmasked earlier? That alone would've made him at least a little more memorable than what we got.

Tldr: I love Fury but compared to Fusion and Masters, its villains are lacking.

[iamsosmaug]

Miraculous Fic Recs

Recently I've been complaining a lot on the internet how sucky the recent seasons of ML have been, and how much better the old fanfics are; I'm going to prove my point by sharing my tried-and-true rec list. Here we go.

Back To Us - Written in 2017, so some things are inaccurate. Basically Marinette, as Ladybug, kills Gabriel Agreste on accident by pushing him off the Eiffel Tower and Adrien moves to Milan. Seven years later Marinette is a rising fashion designer, her long-lost partner comes back seven years later but hot, and a new Hawkmoth shows up on the very day Adrien comes back. Suspicious. INCLUDES: Antihero!Chat. Alternate superhero names for Alya, Nino + there are only seven miraculouses which honestly I like a lot better than Ladybug just busting another one out whenever she feels like it. At one point, it was the longest fic in the fandom but now it's not even close. 446k. Requires an Ao3 account to read.

Second Chances- Again, written fairly early in the fandom. Adrien is a single dad and Alya volunteers Marinette to be his daughter's nanny - the premise sounds like it could turn out really weird but I promise it's not. Adorable adorable. INCLUDES: Past ChloexAdrien and MarinettexNathanael, and Adrien never went to school. Reverse best friends (Alya + Adrien, Mari + Nino). 105k.

Whose Woods These Are (I Think I Know) - Ladrien Cinderella AU. Super well-written in a kind of fairytale style. I honestly love this fic. 105k.

Spotty Connections - Adrienette texting fic (no miraculous AU, but does incorporate LadyNoir). Tikki & Plagg are M&A's cats. One of my favorites ever. 66k.

Film It - Adrien is a youtuber! Soon all of Twitter ships #adrienette. INCLUDES: Gabriel Agreste's A+ Parenting. Endgame Adrienette. Superheroes exist, but LB & CN aren't a huge part of this. Also worthy of note: #thatfoursome and a decent amount of Twitter formatting. This has pretty much everything I want in an Adrienette fic. 56k.

Chasing The C/h/atwalk - Project Runway AU. Marinette is a designer and Adrien... is her model. Shenanigans ensue. INCLUDES: Some LadyNoir, mostly after the identity reveal. #MarinetteInDenial. 100k. I love this fic.

Lucky Us - No Miraculous email AU. See Spotty Connections: LadyNoir incorporated without the actual superheroes. Fluff with a tiny bit of angst but still happy ending. 136k.

Secret Santa - fluff. Pure fluff; classic in the fandom. A bit cheesy and very outdated but very nice. Time for a reread. It has a sequel called New Year's Ball. 52k.

Être Majeur - horror, AU, fairly short, creepy and strange but really well-written. 24k. M for horror elements.

La Pucelle Et La Coccinelle - Absolute favorite. Explores Joan of Arc (Jeanne d'Arc in this story) with the Ladybug Miraculous. INCLUDES: Actual historical references, lore for the miraculouses, and a flashforward to the future at the end with Marinette. 38k. I have it printed out, I love it so much.

Pray For the Children You Lost Along the Way - Silent Hill AU (Emilie Anderson from the arcade game is Adrien's mom). It has been on hiatus since 2019, but is still worth a read because so many things tie together in a satisfying way. 86k. Rated M b/c of Silent Hill-type things.

Under Lock and Key - Huge classic also published on Wattpad. Author/artist collab with Maerynn & EdenDaphne - Maerynn passed away while the fic was being written and ED finished it. Very nice art by ED. I view this fic as the quintessential 2017 era Adrienette fic. Very sweet and fluffy. 34k.

Tripped at Fencing - Gabriel hits Adrien. INCLUDES: Gabriel Agreste's A+ Parenting. Accidental identity reveal (Marinette finds out first). Only 5k but a classic.

The Butterfly and Her Brother series (Generations Past and Future) - written c. 2016. Gabriel is NOT Hawkmoth; Gabriel is not a villian in the least so technically OOC. First couple are set in the 1990s, then a couple in ~2016 and the latest in like 2044. I haven't read the last one in the series but WHATHGAWAATG (Europe gets taken over), featuring the next gen of Agrestes, is really good as well. Many things are outdated/false as this was written based off of s1, but I honestly like this interpretation of the Miraculous much better than how the show does it. Mama Agreste's name is Adele (again, s1) and I quite like her character. I freaking LOVE this series. I have it downloaded to my phone and I reread it when I'm feeling sad. 340k in total, but the longest work in the series is about 166k. SO many kudos.

a fight that you were born to lose - "Adrien finds out that Gabriel is Hawkmoth, and Gabriel gets to bring his long-waited plan into action." TW abuse, emotional manipulation, forced dieting. Gabriel Agreste's A+ Parenting. Fairly short for how well-rounded it is - 17k.

An Impromptu Proposal - what it says on the tin. Reverse love square kinda: Ladynoir requited love bc Adrien never went to school. Includes identity reveal and Hawkmoth!Lila takedown. 33k.

On The Prowl - Criminal CN. Also on ffn.net. Good story and TOTALLY a classic, but also uses 'ravenette' and 'sapphire orbs' unironically. The writing is okay if a little melodramatic. 53k.

Chat Noir's White French Man Hit List For Feminist Purposes - pretty much what it says on the tin. Sentimonster!Adrien. 7.8k.

i think it's time i told you (i'm a fan of your universe) - ladynoir proposal. v v nice. Just 5k. Smidge of angst.

The Ladyblog Comment Section - what it says on the tin. 27k. Hilarity and crack.

spark - Tinder AU. Lots of Marichat. Angst with a happy ending. 49k. Slow burn w/ eventual identity reveal.

all dressed up and nowhere to go - No Miraculouses modern royalty AU - human Tikki and Plagg. Mostly DJWifi but a mild amount of adrienette and a smidge of chlogami. Includes arranged marriage Adrien x Alya but they don't end up together. "Twenty-five-year-old Marinette is a wedding dress designer, business blooming in her trusty shop, Ladybug Bridal. When the engagement of Prince Adrien Agreste and Ancient Princess Alya Césaire is announced, all she expects is an influx of work. What she gets instead is... a bit different." 35k.

tangled ribbons - Ao3. ballet/dance AU (no miraculous). Adrienette with some DJWifi and human Tikki & Plagg. "Marinette is a small studio dancer who wins a scholarship to a summer long ballet intensive. Adrien is a famous ballet dancer who would rather be at home than at said intensive. The end of the summer will bring about a showcase that could make Marinette's career, if she can ignore Chloé and focus on something other than Adrien." 82k. The slowest of burns.

Where timing is kind to us - Ao3. marichat discusses quantum physics. 4.3k. This is a beautiful one-shot with a one-sided reveal.

[wc-confessions]

Longtail is my favorite character. I love his character arc, how he acts as a narrative foil to Firestar, and how he starts out as a jerkass but grows to have a backbone, shows himself to be a loyal warrior with a heart of gold where it counts, rejects Tigerstar when lines in the sand have been crossed despite how much he once looked up to him, and eventually grows to be very loyal to Firestar. I wish people talked more about the scene where he saves Fire when Tiger tries to drown him even though they’re not at all on friendly terms yet. Also his mentor-apprentice relationship with Swiftpaw tears me apart but I live for all the fan content that shows their bond and how much regret he has to live with after Swiftpaw’s death.

To this day I have so many gripes with what happened to my boy post-TPB.

If there is a non-death equivalent of TV Tropes’ “Too Cool To Live,” Longtail is basically that. He had to be written out because if he weren’t forcibly removed from the action, then he would be the obvious choice to become deputy during Greystripe’s absence in TNP (and arguably should have been chosen over Greystripe in the first place; I do like Grey but he was not particularly loyal nor responsible in his youth). Longtail was still relatively young, healthy and fit, loyal, experienced, passionate. You cannot convince me that he wasn’t dealt a career-ending injury solely because the plot demanded Brambeclaw become deputy by the end of TNP.

I don’t think Longstar would have ever been realistic to expect because he’s not a central enough character and not related to Fire/Tiger, and because he would have been fairly old for a clan cat by the time of Firestar’s death, but maybe he could have held out as deputy till the end of TNP or even early PO3 and been given a cooler and more memorable death than what he got. But more on that later.

We all know how badly this series shafts its disabled characters. Maybe this is trivial to some, but I really hate the retcon about his blindness. When his vision started failing of natural causes, it was still frustrating for the reasons above but it at least seemed like he made a voluntary choice to retire early. He maintained a degree of agency, and he made his own decision under the circumstances rather than having it taken from him by the narrative. Having him get blinded by a rabbit of all things just feels like a cheap shot to move the plot along. If he were going to have a freak accident, at least make it less stupid than an experienced warrior getting his eyes scratched out by a prey animal.

Not that any of them are handled *well* by any means, but we have roughly this same character arc with so many other characters who are given more depth in coming to terms with a permanent disability or disfigurement and having it alter the course of their lives (Cinderpelt, Brightheart, later on Briarlight…) that we didn’t need this one to happen to prove any kind of point or to say something too much different than any of those other instances.

The silver lining of Longtail’s injury is that it allows us to see more of his friendship with Mousefur than we would have gotten if either of them had died younger, and/or if they had faded to being background characters in the ever-growing ThunderClan roster. I really adore their dynamic. I headcanon them as aroace besties (iirc though this is basically canon for at least Mousefur). I find it so lovely and refreshing that a m/f pair of characters, and ones who are mostly very likable at that, can have a platonic relationship with so much care for each other without it eventually going down the marriage-and-children path that most m/f relationships eventually do in this series.

However.

Longtail’s death, and Mousefur’s role in it, are possibly even more frustrating and narratively awful than even the accident that caused his blindness.

Having him go out in such a cheap and easily preventable way felt like such a fucking slap in the face to these beloved characters who have been around from the very beginning of the series. Longtail had his whole life redefined and turned upside down by one random, frustrating freak accident involving prey and he ultimately lost his life to another one. Mousefur’s character was mishandled so grossly here, and a cat who is usually pretty sensible and grounded lost her best friend because she couldn’t let one (1) mouse go in a moment of what I have to assume is senility.

I am at least glad the two got a proper send-off in the Great Battle, with them getting to reunite on-screen and his spirit guiding her to Starclan after she fell in battle. It doesn’t quite make up for everything else given that Longtail had so much unused potential while alive, but it all would have been so, so much more upsetting if they weren’t given at least that much to close their chapters.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk about Longtail. He is so dear to my heart and deserved so much better than most of what he got.

.