#also I really suspect some of this sizing but…I can’t really know for sure.

[icterid-rubus]

I could have a million years and one day to knit a single sock for someone and I’d still be up at that final hour with a hairdryer trying to block the project the night before.

[elliyoyo]

Algophilia (Astarion Ancunin/Reader)

I have no explanation. The vampire seduced me just like he seduced you, I am also horny. Here you go.

Desc: You get very aroused by biting and the concept of being bitten. Astarion reveals his vampirism, and you both see an opportunity.

Warnings: Smut, pwp, p in v, fingering, oral (m receiving), biting, blood mention.

Words: ~2k

There, in the dim firelight, you see him for what he really is: a vampire. A slave to sanguine hunter. And it stirs something within you in a way you haven't felt in a long time— since before the tadpoles, at the very least.

“So… when was the last time you killed someone? Days? Hours?” You try to keep control of your breathing, but the excitement is building and your resolve is weakening.

“I’ve never killed anyone!”

You give him a look of disbelief, crossing your arms with an eyebrow raised. A vampire? Having never killed anyone? In the time he’s likely been around?

“Well… not for food. I feed on animals— boar, deer, kobolds, whatever I can get… but it’s not enough. Not if I have to fight— I feel so weak.” His brow furrows and he glares off into the distance, said weakness beginning to get to him. If this is going where you think it’s going, this is going to be the best chance encounter you could hope for.

“If I just had a little blood, I could think clearer— fight better… please…”

Bingo.

“Why didn’t you just tell me, Astarion?”

“At best, I was sure you would say no. More likely, you’d ram a stake through my ribs… No… I needed you to trust me— and you can trust me.”

“I do, and I do believe you. Out of everyone at camp, I know my back is covered the best when I’m traveling with you.” His serious look falters for a moment and you see him soften up a bit as he continues.

“Good… Good… Thank you. Do you think you could trust me just a bit further?” He tilts his head slightly before going on, “I only need a taste, I swear.”

“Fine, but not a drop more than you need— can’t be dying on everyone after coming this far.” Your words are much more contained than your thoughts, which are running wild and free, wandering off to the point where you honestly couldn’t care if he killed you. You knew he’d bring you back, especially if you were going to be the first humans he’s had the pleasure of tasting.

“Really?” His eyes light up, but also hold some suspicion as to why you haven’t reacted like he suspected everyone always would. “I… Okay, not a drop more.” He slowly comes in closer, nodding to himself, likely telling himself that this is finally it. “Let’s get more comfortable.”

He takes your hands and leads you to your bedroll, looming over you as you crawl up to your makeshift pillow. In a moment of quick thinking, you untie the top two laces of your nightshirt, giving him some more surface area to work with. You attempt to make eye contact, but Astarion is sizing your neck up and, no doubt, fantasizing about how delicious and sweet your blood will taste on his tongue.

“Go ahead, Astarion. I’m ready,” you gently declare, grabbing onto the ruffles of his own nightshirt.

“Ready? Just so you’re aware, this won’t turn you into a vampire, it’s just me feeding off of you…”

“No, I know, I just… Go ahead…”

And so he does, sinking his fangs into the soft flesh of your neck with no further hesitation. It’s like a sharp, pin-pointed icy explosion at the entry site, and you can’t help but clench your thighs together and yelp at the sensation. The ice soon turns to fire and you feel like you have alchemist’s fire coursing through your veins, igniting every nerve.

“Astarion, this is ecstasy,” you moan, tightening your grip on his shirt and bringing your hips up to grind against his leg for any friction you could get. “You can bite down more, please, bite down more!”

And bite down more, he does. It’s like you can feel your heartbeat throughout your whole body, rhythmic, pulsating, alive. Astarion also seems to be out of sorts, focusing on the sweet nectar of life pouring from the puncture wounds he’s made. Focusing on how powerful and rejuvenated you make him feel, especially in comparison to the fodder at the mansion or the wildlife he’d caught as of late.

“Would it— ah— can I have… I want you, Astarion,” you push out through quick breaths. “While you’re… biting me… if you would…”

He pulls back long enough for his eyes to glaze over and blood to start dripping down his chin. He seems to blank for a moment, but in the blink of an eye, he’s back to his normal seductive self with a, “Want me? Want me how, darling, what exactly do you want? Use your words.”

“Anything. Anything, anything, anything, please.”

His hand slithers up your leg and stops at the front of your pants, rubbing gentle circles right where you need it. You groan in relief and buck up against him, getting greedy off the bat. He smirks up at you from the nape of your neck and digs back in, relishing in the raw, sexual energy you’re exuding.

“In, please, Astarion, in me,” you whine out, putting a hand over his to give yourself a greater pressure to grind on.

“Oh, the only thing I adore more than your blood is the sound of you begging— I have no choice but to give you what you want,” he coos, giving you what you asked for and then some. His fingers work a mile-a-minute, dipping underneath your pants and undergarments to coat them in your slick before slipping in. You can’t help but yelp at the intrusion, but seconds go by and yelping turns to groaning, then groaning turns into bitten back swears escaping your mouth. Still toying with you, his fangs slip right back into the marks he’d left before. Overwhelmed by the mix of pain and pleasure, you have an instantaneous full-body religious experience type of orgasm that you’d never felt before.

“Astarion, where in the Hells did you pick that up?”

In response, he clamps down even harder, effectively shutting you up and eliciting a wonderful tightening around his fingers. Obviously, not a topic to talk about right now, but you weren’t looking to talk anyway, so you had no problem with shutting up. However, he retracts once more, feeling that soon he won’t be able to stop himself before he drains you. Who honestly knows if you’re trying to play him, use him, like everyone else, or if you’re genuinely out of your mind horny for him— but he didn’t care regardless. He was missing the touch, the feel, the pseudo-passion, and he never got to be the one in control anyway. This chance was a lonesome, steaming apple pie innocently left on the windowsill, and he was not beyond stealing.

“Lift your hips up for me,” he commands, and in no time, he’s got you in nothing but your underwear. He takes a moment, not quite admiring, but just watching the light from the fire drench your skin and illuminate your figure. Eyes drifting from plump lips to bloodied, open neck— marked by him, by him— to bare chest to rock solid nipples down to the curvature of your hips to sweet, soft legs. He can’t see himself, but you were a sight to behold. Nothing like anyone who he’d previously manipulated for Cazador, you were somehow special.

“Do you… want me to do anything for you? I don’t want this to be all about me.”

No one in who knows how long has ever asked him if he’d wanted to get in on the pleasure. He wasn’t allowed, as Cazador’s both favorite and least favorite spawn. He was happy to exercise the new freedom and finally, consensually get a mind-blowing blowjob.

“I would adore a little topping off, if you would, sweetness.” He traces his thumb from your bottom lip down to your jaw, tipping your head up to give him the space to kiss the now-dried shower of coagulated blood. He laps up whatever he can then presses one last kiss to your collarbone before sitting back to pop his trousers open and pull the seam at the top of his underwear.

You push yourself up and off of your bedroll and and move your makeshift pillow to use as padding for your knees. Before you touch anything, you press a gentle kiss to his the top of his tip and smile up at him, making sure he didn’t look uncomfortable.

“Return the favor afterwards?” You look directly up at Astarion, locking your eyes with his as you wrap your fingers around his base and begin suckling on his head.

“I could…” His head falls back and his hand finds itself on the back of your head, not pushing you down, just playing with the loose strands. “But I could also come to you in the middle of the night— surprise you, spring myself upon you and devour you. Would you care if anyone heard? The precious leader being lapped at and controlled by the evil, scary vampire?” As he continues his fantasy, you begin taking him deeper and deeper into your mouth, the bloodlessness helping with suppressing any gagging. “I’d wait till dark. Let everyone fall asleep, sneak into your tent… Then I’d taste, no… Ravage you.”

You look up at him, locking eyes as you take him completely down, desperately trying to convince him that he could have all that and more right now. He tuts and finally puts pressure on the back of your head, relishing in the feeling of you gagging and choking around him. “Don’t you worry, I’d leave enough of you to come back— ah, shit— for more.”

While it doesn’t last terribly long, it’s enough for him to reach his finish, where he pulls fully back and paints your face in ropes of heat. He puts a hand on your cheek, smearing his cum across your cheek and grinning down at you, completely breathless. He simply wipes himself off with his shirt, but he takes his time, pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket to give you a more thorough clean.

“Now you have to come steal away to my tent some night, after that.” You laugh, putting yourself back together as he does the same. You take a peek around, and no one seems to have been disturbed, leaving you two a rare private moment. “I’d… really like that. If my blood helps, it would be useful to keep meeting up like this.”

“Oh, I feel wonderful now— I got fresh blood that squirmed on my fingers and finished me off, I’m practically a new man,” he lulls, already starting to stalk off to his tent. “Ta ta, get yourself all rested and recovered for tomorrow.” With that, he disappears, winking and smirking at you as he retreats.

You could barely process what just happened. The wounds on your neck barely feel real, even as you skim your fingertips over them. And you were in for more, apparently, so you barely slept, just imagined how Astarion was going to deliver tomorrow.

[smilingcrittersthingig]

I found an old unfinished Starstudent fic I made

This was around the early phase of Reborn AU where I only had Dogday and I had a vague understanding of what the critters were supposed to act like

And I think this was supposed to be multiple parts, this is probably the first chapter where I was going to make Kickin fall in love with Bubba

And the rest of the chapters consists of him slowly realizing that and gay panicking while Bubba’s being oblivious to all of it as he makes sure his arm heals correctly

Anyways if you want to read it here you go

Kickin x Bubba

All of the smiling critters are currently busy with certain stuff.

Bobby, Picky, Crafty were drawing on paper, making arts and crafts. Well more like Bobby and Crafty are, Picky seems to just be eating her snacks while watching them by the side. Dogday and Hoppy are playing a game involving a ball, no clue what they’re doing with it, they seem to be playing soccer and then it changes to volleyball next. Catnap is somewhere sleeping in a tree.

“Ughh…” and meanwhile Kickin is sitting on the picnic bench as he watches everyone, bored out of his mind.

He planned on playing with Dogday and Hoppy, but it looked like they were focusing really hard on their match, he didn’t want to interrupt a game between stubborn competitors. Guess they probably made a bet with each other or something.

And sure, drawing with the others would be fun, but he didn’t really feel like getting praised by Crafty after he makes a single line, felt somewhat degrading since she knows drawing isn’t his best asset.

So that just leaves either sitting and sulking the rest of the day, or he hangs out with the other critter who’s also alone… Bubba. He was sitting on the other side of the bench, reading something, probably had something to do with math. He hates the random big numbers and symbols Bubba tried to teach him about.. But anything would be better than sitting and moping.

He leaned in to see what Bubba was reading, it had actual words on it so it can’t be that algebratic or something. He scooted a little closer to him to get a closer look, he could see dialogue and names, one of them was talking about a crime scene and suspects, looks like he was reading a mystery novel, Bubba did mention at one point that he reads those during a sleepover at Dogday’s. And it’s a murder mystery no less, he really is as much of a nerd as he thou—

“Do you need something?” Bubba catches the chicken looking over at him, Kickin gets surprised by the sudden noise, almost falling off the bench. He regains his composure and clears his throat.

“Well I’m checking to see if what you’re reading was cool” He crossed his arms and pulled a grin. Bubba deadpanned him as he raised an eyebrow

“I’m bored.” Kickin immediately confessed,

“Why don’t you go hang out with the others then?” He asks, looking back the page he was on.

“Dogday and Hoppy are too busy playing… whatever it is they’re playing over there” Dogday and Hoppy are now for some reason playing tennis with the ball, how did that happen.

“And I’m not down for accidentally cutting my finger with the scissors.” He leaned his arm on the picnic table, Bubba only replied with a ‘hm’ as he continues to look at the book. Kickin pouts before a lightbulb lit up above him, he can prank Bubba! Great idea, he snickers as he backs off slowly and runs off.

Bubba turned as Kickin went to leave, leaving a sigh of relief as he looks back and flipped through the book.

As time passed, Picky walks over to Bubba. He looks up at her and asks what she wants.

“Bobby and Crafty were wondering if you wanted to join their arts and crafts session” she asked,

“No, thanks but I’ll be fine” Picky nodded and trotted back to the others. Bubba looks at the other two, Dogday and Hoppy are now playing baseball… despite the ball not being baseball sized.

“Hey Bubba~!” He looks over at Kickin, who was smiling mischievously with his hands behind his back, what is he planning?

“…Yes?” Bubba hesitantly asked, dreading what the chicken had in store for him.

“I got you a gift!” He revealed his hidden hands to show a wrapped present. Bubba looked at it suspiciously and then looked up at Kickin who just had that shit-eating-grin.

“No thanks.” He looked away and opened a page. Kickin stands there processing for a few seconds before yelling at Bubba.

“Hey why not!?” Kickin went closer to him,

“I know you did something to it, I’m not gonna humiliate myself for your amusement.” He replied.

“I didn’t do anything to it, promise! Just take it, come on, man!” He was shoving the gift onto Bubba’s face, he finally grabs it, irritated.

“Fine fine. Just stop bothering me.” Kickin’s smile came back as he eagerly watched Bubba open it, he hesitantly unwrapped the ribbons and slowly opened the top. He was then greeted with a party popper hitting him in the face with confetti and the likes. He just stands still annoyed as Kickin was laughing beside him.

“You…” Bubba slowly turned his head to glare at him, but Kickin was too busy laughing his innards out.

“Aw man!… You should’ve seen the look on your face..! HAHA!” He continued to laugh as Bubba just groans, but smiling a little as he watches Kickin get so much laughter out.

Until he sees a ball coming straight for them, his eyes widen and before he can warn Kickin to duck, Kickin gets hit in the arm and loses his balance off the bench, falling on the same arm that got hit. After that, the air was met with Kickin’s pained scream that was so loud, it woke Catnap up. The other critters run over to what happened as Bubba was frozen in shock.

“What happened!?” Picky looked around the whole scene, Crafty stood beside her as she held her hooves over her mouth

“Oh my god, are you okay, Kickin!?” Bobby ran over to Kickin in a state of worry and concern, Hoppy was panicking and holding her ears as she avoided glancing at the others.

“We’re so sorry, Kickin! Me and Hoppy were playing chess boxing and—“

“CHESS BOXING???” Dogday was interrupted with Bobby’s confused yelling at how they even managed to incorporate a ball to chess boxing.

“Chess boxing? Did the ball box Kickin?” Picky lightly chuckled before getting elbowed by Crafty and apologizing.

“AGH I’M— I’m.. swell—…!“ Kickin tried to lie through his teeth, not wanting to look uncool. It doesn’t even hurt that bad! (he’s in pure agony)

“Okay okay! It’s okay Kickin! I have a first aid kit back at my house, I’m gonna quickly grab that and run back here—!” Bubba snapped out of his trance and started to reassure Kickin.

“I think it’d be better to just bring him to your house-” Dogday suggested, lightly fidgeting

“Right right!” Bubba shakes his hands to clear out his nervousness.

“Let me help!” Hoppy yelled out as she try to carry Kickin, but ultimately failing and dropping both of them to the ground,

“HOPPY!!” Bubba and Bobby yelled at the bunny whose ears drooped down.

“Are you trying to give him more injuries!?” Bubba shouted,

“I’m sorry! I’m trying here!!” Hoppy apologized profusely to the others and Kickin who was curling on the floor, clutching his arm, muttering that he’s okay which is not being heard due to everything being loud.

“Guys—“ Dogday tried to calm the critters but got covered up by the constant screaming and yelling full of panic. As the canine tried to speak louder, the critters were all shut up by a a purple long tail wrapping around Kickin and lifted up, lavender suddenly surrounding the air. Catnap walks past the other critters, Kickin in tail, as he stands in front of Bubba. The elephant and the feline stared at each other for a solid second before Bubba figured out that Catnap was waiting for him to go to his house.

“Oh! Thank you, Catnap—!” He quickly ran off with Catnap following, leaving the other critters behind.

“…So can you explain to me how you guys used the ball for chess boxing?” the critters all turned to Picky.

“What!? I have to know!” Picky exclaimed.

Kickin sat on the couch with Bubba who was bandaging his arm. Catnap already left, after making sure that Kickin was okay, he walked out the door, leaving the two alone.

“It’ll heal for about a few weeks, but avoid doing anything dangerous that could damage your arm further” Bubba has calmed down from earlier,

“Jeez, now I’m gonna look uncool…” he groaned as he looked at his cast.

“I think I’m more concerned on how Dogday and Hoppy threw the ball so hard that it broke your arm..” Bubba wondered, scratching his chin “Maybe the two times you fell on the ground contributed to the damage—“

“Bubba—“ Kickin interrupted the elephant’s sudden open thought process, his hand on his face with the other grabbing Bubba’s shoulder. He picked up on Kickin being embarrassed of the whole situation, he didn’t understand why but he didn’t want to upset Kickin for today.

“…Well you could have Crafty draw on it to make it look cooler, if you’re that concerned.” Bubba suggested, Kickin places his hand back down and looked at the elephant

“You’re right, She’d definitely make it look cooler!” He lights up, making Bubba smile.

Their moment was interrupted with knocking at the entrance, Bubba got off the couch and walked to the door, he was greeted with Hoppy and Dogday, their ears wilted and they had a worried expression. Dogday was fidgeting with his fingers, avoiding eye contact, and Hoppy was bouncing her leg as she held onto one of her ears.

“Here for Kickin?” Bubba asked, the two lowered their ears further and nodded,

“Go ahead” he moved to the side and the two ran inside, immediately getting on their knees in front of Kickin as they apologized profusely. Bubba just sighed at the sight, chuckling a little before going to the kitchenp.

“Guys guys- It’s all good-“

“But you got hurt because of us…” Dogday looked at Kickin’s bandaged arm, feeling even more guilty.

“Yeah! And you have a habit of lying about how you’re feeling.” Hoppy exclaimed.

“It’s okay, It didn’t even hurt! (he was in pure agony) And I’m all better now, see?” Kickin shows off his bandaged arm.

“Alright” Dogday sighed, “But you should let us make it up to you at least”

“We’ll break our arms for you! Just say the word!” Hoppy shows off her arm while holding on it.

“Haha!… Don’t let us do that—!” Dogday nervously laughs, looking at Kickin with pleading eyes.

“Hm… I’ll think about it” Kickin gives Dogday that smug look, making the canine sweat anxiously with Hoppy looking determined beside him.

“Haha I’m kidding, I’m just joking!” Kickin laughs as Dogday let out a sigh of relief. “Though can you guys tell me what you two were doing earlier? I’ve been wondering what that was“ he asked.

“Oh that? That was uh…” Dogday taps his chin, acting as if he forgot what the point of that was.

“To be honest, I don’t remember why we did all that in the first place.” Hoppy chuckled, scratching the back of her head

“I recall it had something to do with a floating circle guy…”

“…What-?”

And that’s all of it

… I dont know either

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS ZERO Animate Tokuten Drama CD “A Vampire’s Late Night Snack Terror” [Kino ver.]

Original title: 夜更かしヴァンパイアの食テロ飯 [キノ編]

Source: Diabolik Lovers ZERO Vol. 7 Animate Tokuten CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Tomoaki Maeno

Translator’s note: I went into this fully expecting a repeat of Kou with Kino setting the kitchen on fire but he’s actually a decent cook??? It was also really cute how he wants to be more independent and stop relying on Yuuri to do everything for him. I swear this guy keeps on winning me over again and again ever since I played his Lost Eden route.

Kino burst into the room.

*Thud*

“...God! What does he mean ‘You can’t do it, Kino’...!? Who does he think I am, huh!?”

You ask him what’s wrong.

“It’s very simple! I was looking for a change of pace and casually offered to make a meal...but what do you think Yuuri said in response to that? ...That it’s impossible for me! I can cook though! It’s just that I usually choose not to!”

You tell them it’s not good to fight.

“We’re not fighting or anything...Well, I guess it’s true that I don’t exactly cook very often. Yuuri does it for me after all. But he didn’t have to just flat out doubt my capabilities like that! Aah...It pisses me off! Can’t I get back at him somehow? ...Right! You’re a pretty good cook, aren’t you?”

You suspect that he might want you to teach him.

“Yes, exactly! ...Teach me! How to cook!”

You seem hesitant.

“...Are you going to tell me that I can’t as well?”

You tell him that it’s too late to cook now.

“Who cares that it’s the middle of the night? Besides, I’m a Vampire, so I’m active during this time of day. ...Ah-aah...That really stings. You’ll have to do something now to make up for this emotional pain.”

Kino approaches you.

*Rustle*

“So...Where do you want me to bite you? It would seem to me that you’re dying to have me give you a taste of pain, so I’ll gladly take you up on that offer?”

You protest.

“I won’t wait. So, where do you want my fangs? Ahー Perhaps I should go for your ear? It’s a very sensite spot, so I’m sure it’ll hurt a lot?”

You continue to fight back.

“Then...You’ll teach me, right? I don’t care about the dish itself.”

You agree.

“There we go. You should have just nodded in agreement from the beginning.”

*Rustle*

“Well then, let’s go to the kitchen then. Just a heads up, pick something fancy but possible for me to make, okay?”

*TIMESKIP*

*Rustle rustle*

*Thud*

“You’ve started...lining up some strange things. These odd vegetables and...cheese? What are we going to make with these?”

You refuse to tell him for now.

“That’s something to look forward to? Okay, sure. I guess I’ll follow your instructions this once. ーー So, where should I start?”

*Rustle*

“What...is this?”

You tell him.

“Eh? This is lotus root!? I had no idea it had this sort of shape...”

*Rustle*

“Oh, you’re right! Now that you mention it, the cross-section looks like lotus root! I should slice it, right?”

You tell him he has to cut it thinly.

“Eeeh? You have so many requests. Yeah, I know. I’ll cut thin slices.”

You tell him the amount you need.

“One hundred gram!? So what does 100 gram of lotus root look like exactly!? Could you stop giving me all the difficult tasks!?”

*Cling*

“Hmph...God. I’ll just wing it...”

*Chop chop chop*

“About this much?”

You praise his knifework. 

“Guess so. I mean, obviously I know how to use a knife. So, what’s next?”

You turn on the stove.

“Ah...We’re going to bake these? ...You can hear the sound of the oil sizzling. Can I add the lotus root now?”

You give him instructions again.

“There you go asking complicated things again...Fine. I should line them up leaving as little gaps as possible...and bake them until the surface is crispy, right?”

*Pshhh*

*Rustle*

“Mmh! Looking good! It’s got a nice brown color and gives off a rich fragrance. What should I do next?”

*Rustle*

“Are these leftovers from dinner? Can I put them on?”

You nod.

“Then I’ll place these bite-sized pieces of bacon all around...and sprinkle the finely chopped pieces of tomato on top as well, okay? The rings of green pepper as well. ...Mmh! A nice array of colors! As to be expected of me! Why don’t we add in some konpeito as well while we’re at it? I really like these ones!”

*Cling cling*

“See? Aren’t they pretty? I’m very fond of the star shape as well. Let’s try mixing it in here!”

You stop him.

*Rustle*

“Eeh~? Party pooper! ...Fine then. ...So, what comes next?”

You had him a bag of grated cheese.

“Oh? This is...grated cheese, no? Eeh? But if we put this on top, it’ll ruin the nice color palate we had going on, no? ...Ah, right! The key is to put an even, thin layer! ...I’ll put it on top then, okay?”

Kino adds the cheese.

“Sprinkle it all over...”

*Rustle*

“There! It’s starting to melt, look! Uwah~! It looks really delicious already!”

You tell him that it’s not quite ready yet.

“Fine. I’ll put on the lid, okay?”

*Cling*

“Now we just wait, right? I’ve gotten kind of hungry even though I had dinner earlier. Well, I guess I don’t technically need to eat since I’m a Vampire but I can’t wait for the finished product!”

*TIMESKIP*

*Cling*

“Uwah! It looks scrumptious! Although you can tell by the scent alone that it’s going to be delicious. Is it done now?”

You nod and plate it.

*Cling*

“Hooray! It’s done! ...Quick and easy, lotus root pizza!”

You seem surprised that he could tell what it’s based on.

“It’s pretty obvious that it’s meant to be a pizza. This is the first time I’ve seen someone use lotus root for the crust though. Say...Why don’t we give it a little taste before we go show it to Yuuri? It’s really tempting me.”

You give him permission.

“Hehe~ Well then...Time to dig in~!”

Kino takes a bite.

“Mmh...Nn...Mmh~! What’s this!? Holy shit! It’s super delicious!”

You ask him if he really likes it that much.

“Yeah! It’s out of this world! The lotus root crust is really crispy! Even though it’s thin, because it’s been crisped up in the pan, it has a really rich flavor. Kind of like vegetable chips...? 

I really like the melted cheese on top as well! You should eat it while it’s still piping hot. Similar to a cheese fondue, I love how the cheese wraps around the vegetables and brings out the sweetness! 

Also, the smoky aroma from the bacon has seeped into the lotus root. The fat from the meat melts inside your mouth...”

*Crunch*

“Mmh...Delicious!”

You say that you’re glad he likes it.

“Mm~ Way to go! You hit the nail on the head by choosing this recipe! It’s easy to make and delicious. Just like what I asked for!”

*Rustle rustle*

*Thud*

“Huh? Is that...jelly?”

*Rustle*

“Uwah! There’s konpeito inside! So pretty...It looks like stars floating in the sky.”

You ask if he likes it. 

“Of course I like it! I was wondering what you were up to earlier, but you were making this, huh? You really are a great asset with how you’ll take all of my requests into account. What more could a man ask for (1)?”

You get flustered.

“What are you blushing for? I honestly wouldn’t mind marrying you right here, right now?”

You panic even more. 

“Hahaha! What are those weird movements for? Honestly, I never grow tired watching you. ...Oh well, let’s leave that topic for another day.”

*Cling*

“I’m positive Yuuri will be shocked when he sees this table!”

You agree.

“Mmh. ...Well, I know this all started after I got into an argument with Yuuri but I actually had one more reason to want to cook. I realized that I should start becoming more independent little by little...I decided to stop thinking in terms of ‘a master and his servants’, remember? I don’t want to use Yuuri as a personal butler forever, you see. That’s why I gotta at least be able to cook by myself.”

You chuckle.

“What are you grinning for? It’s creepy. Are you mocking me, perhaps?”

You shake your head.

“I wonder. ...This is your punishment for making me upset.”

*Cling*

“Here, say ‘aahn’.”

You refuse.

“I’m not taking no as an answer. Now open your mouth?”

*Rustle*

“Fufu, very obedient now, aren’t we? ...Here you go, ‘aahn’.”

*Crunch*

“Good, right? I made it myself, so be sure to savor it thoroughly, okay?”

You nod.

“Right? Come on, feed me some as well.”

*Cling*

“Aahn~”

*Crunch*

“Mm...Mmh...Yeah, delicious! If we eat too much, there will be none left but...Oh well! We’ve still got plenty of ingredients left, so we can always make a new batch! I want to share the very first dish I made together with you anyway. ...Right~?”

ーー THE END ーー 

Translation notes

(1) Kino calls her a ‘ryousai kenbo’ which literally means ‘good wife, wise mother’ and which is kind of seen as the ideal for woman in Japan and a lot of East-Asian countries. 

[buff-muffin]

I’m just. Just thinking about how the ASL brothers might have different feelings on Dadan and her hut.

Like for starters Ace. Dadan is the woman who raised him though let’s be real he probably heard every step of the way how she never wanted to, how he was a burden on her. That piled on with the whole Roger’s offspring never should have existed, probably never made for a good pairing. But the funny thing with children is. A part of them, especially when young and developing want to make their caretaker happy and so. Maybe that’s why Ace was so independent from a young age. Being out of the house and caring for yourself meant he wouldn’t be a burden. Meaning Dadan would be happy. Though being alone also means he doesn’t have to listen to her or the others talk behind his back either.

Then after the fires. I think it clicked in his and her head of what they mean to each other. After all. Dadan says these horrible things about him yet she saves him from the fire and Bluejam pirates. He’s heard her say all this terrible things since he could remember and he patches up and care for her wounds carrying her home. I think after the fires. Ace really registers that Dadan is safe. And that’s why after Sabo left he and Luffy didn’t build their forts far in the privacy of the forest but right at her side. Because she’s safe.

Then there’s Luffy. Unlike Ace, Luffy to some degree had a stabile home growing up with Makino. Yes the girl was busy and yes she never had time for Luffy. But her bar was always open to him and she would always be there caring for him. Luffy knew what security was. And he also knew security came in all shapes and sizes. After all the red haired pirates were scrappy drunkards that would pester, tease, bully and heckle him any chance they got. But they cared for Luffy and he knew it. Shanks lost his arm for Luffy to keep him safe. So the bandits behaviour probably never threw him off. But the fact they were BANDITS did. You can’t blame him. His first traumatic experience that was a big part in the shaping of his childhood was caused by bandits.

But every day he came home battered, beaten, muddied, bruised. And just like Makino they would al patch him up. And just like Shank’s crew, would tease torment and bully him. Luffy knew they were safe from day one, and really he probably doesn’t think of her as a mother but she is still definitely family. She when he left on his journey. The fact they were bandits to him just meant they weren’t as cool as pirates. But she was still the best damn bandit in the world.

And finally Sabo. He actually has very little interaction with Dadan throughout the whole flashback besides farting while she talks and sharing a meal. But honestly that quick ease around her made me think. For someone who had such shitty absentee parents and then raised himself on the streets for at least months maybe even years. He was so… trusting? Sure he’s ten, and ten year olds aren’t really that suspecting of the world yet. But of someone of the background, it strikes me as odd.

Do you think he had heard about Dadan from Ace? Like come on, preteens be preteens. Surly Ace has arrived whining about Dadan and her bandits and to Sabo, tales of fighting for each meal. Being literally thrown into a bath tub and her screeching at other bandits and things probably sounds crazy, surreal, like a dream. He’d never say he’s jealous of Ace. After all he knows Dadan isn’t the best but a ‘family’ that talks to you must have sounded amazing. Sabo fit right in at Dadan’s hut because this was the family he had always wanted. And even if for a little while he got to treasure.

[mollywog]

Wild Wednesdays

a Valentine’s bonus

Suggested by @rarepairheathen 🩶 and when I realized Valentine’s was on a Wednesday this year, I had to work something up!

Pretend there’s another chapter of WW posted in which Katniss and Peeta begin dating (sometime around September of the previous year) - This would be their first Valentine’s together.

The date hadn’t even crossed her mind when she’d agreed to watch Daisy on Wednesday as usual. She should have guessed from Gale’s thinly veiled glee at her confirmation of a long standing arrangement that something was up. But it wasn’t until she saw the look of surprise and the hint of disappointment on Peeta’s face that she realized her mistake and by then it was too late to back out. She’d committed herself to Daisy duty on their first Valentine’s Day together.

February was a big month at the bakery and while Peeta was busy ensuring everyone else’s perfect Valentine’s Day, she was certain she’d just derailed theirs. But Peeta took it in stride, inviting his nephews over as well and assuring her it would be better to celebrate on Saturday anyways.

So they spend their first Valentine’s Day together like any other Wednesday, with the addition of a few extra hearts and pink sprinkles.

Once the children have been collected and the kitchen cleaned, they make their way up to Peeta’s apartment, flopping on the couch to recover. She’s just deciding it’s time to head to her house when, as if sensing her intentions, Peeta picks up her foot, and begins rubbing circles into her arches. She sinks back into the sofa, moaning her approval, her resolve melting.

“Stay?”

Nothing sounds better at this moment. “I can’t. No clothes,” she mumbles. She usually stays on Wednesdays, but then she’d accidentally fallen asleep here last night and this morning had to decide between re-wearing Tuesday’s outfit or borrowing something 3 sizes too big from Peeta’s wardrobe. She spent the day swimming in Peeta’s smallest sweater and yesterday’s leggings. It was cozy and smelled like Peeta, but she’d had to listen to Haymitch and Rue’s teases all day. Between work, and picking up Daisy, she had yet to make it to her house at all today.

“I’m sure I could find a small Mellark’s shirt downstairs. You could wear it with one of my flannels?”

“Do you have some Mellark underwear down there too?” She pokes his ribs with her free foot.

“Fresh out.” He moves his ministrations from her foot to her calf and she lets out another appreciative moan. “Turn today’s inside out?”

She scrunches her nose at him.

“Commando is really underrated, you know.” Blocking the pillow she flings, He sighs, “alright.” Despite his acquiescence, he picks up her other foot and resumes his massage. She closes her eyes, dreading the moment he’ll let go.

“You’re always welcome here, you know that right?”

She opens one eye to peek at him, “I know, but I thought we just determined that I couldn’t stay.”

“Yeah, but I mean not just tonight; anytime.”

She opens the other eye to get a better look at him. He shifts in his seat under her gaze. “Even if I’m out late with Prim and feel the urge to come over at some ‘ungodly’ hour? like 9:15?” She bites back a smile at the memory.

“About that,” he stands, lifting her feet from his lap and placing them in his vacated spot while he heads to the next room, returning with a single key.

“What’s that for? I already know the door code to get in.”

He rolls his eyes, “it’s a copy of the master key to the whole building and it’s supposed to be a symbolic gesture: a physical reminder and more permanent than a fleeting key code… It was also part of your Valentine’s gift, so Saturday will be a bit of a let down.”

She suspects that’s far from true, but she couldn’t care less about Saturday right now.

“I know we haven’t been together long, but you know where I stand and I think we’re on the same page,” he shoots her a nervous glance and she hoists herself up on her elbows, nodding her agreement. Emboldened by her assent, he continues, “I love having you here. Falling asleep and waking up next to you, even if you steal all the covers and take up way more than your share of the bed.” She rolls her eyes. “I love being the person you come to after a long day at work to commiserate or celebrate with and even just existing in the same space; when I’m painting and you reading, to look up and see you there. I don’t want to rush or pressure, or scare you, but know my home is yours whenever you’re ready.”

She’s neither pressured nor scared, just giddy anticipation. Prim had moved in with her girlfriend shortly after Katniss had begun seeing Peeta. For all the years she had put Prim’s needs before her own, she hadn’t noticed Prim doing the same for her. It had taken Prim moving out for Katniss to realize why her sister had stayed so long; to keep her from being alone.

With Peeta in her life and Prim no longer there, the house feels more like a bed and a closet than home. She’s ready for this change, she realizes she has been for some time. “okay.”

“Okay?” He says tentatively.

“Okay,” She smiles up at him, reaching for the hand outstretched towards her with the key, instead grabbing his wrist and pulling him down to the couch with her.

It was a pretty good Valentine’s after all.

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

On TCB Fans Being Annoying About Tinlightenment

So I got this response to this survey yesterday, and I spent pretty much all day thinking about it on-and-off (tragically, I do not have a very intellectually stimulating job). Reading it upset me a little more than it should have (the correct amount would have been zero), still upsets me a bit if we’re being honest, and I was kinda’ surprised by my own reaction. But the fact is, this person took time out of their day to fill out this little survey, and on the whole their responses were actually really informative and helpful. So, thank you, anonymous responder! Just because I didn’t like everything I read doesn’t mean I can’t be grateful to have read it.

So I’m gonna let you, and everyone else, in on a couple of little secrets (full response below the cut):

I kinda’ suspected at least one response like this one. Which is part of why my reaction surprised me so much.

The reason I suspected I’d hear this is that I… kinda’ agree? About the annoying part, anyways. I promise you, nobody is more annoyed about all the Tinlightenment promo posting I’ve done than I am. No one enjoys asking the internet for money. We’re not waking up going “oh boy, another day! I am so excited to find yet another new way to throw the same information into the void for the forty eighth time in a row!” Actually, it’s not exactly a void. It’s more like… constantly throwing crumbs into the ocean, hoping to save a fish but never knowing if anything actually gets eaten. And feeling annoyed/annoying the entire damn time.

But here we are, doing it anyway. And I would like my anonymous responder and anyone else who feels the same way to understand why.

Essentially, there’s no other choice that leads to Tinlightenment being funded. The internet is changing. It’s never been easier for small, independent creators, especially those just starting out, to make something and put it up online. But it’s also never been harder to get people to actually see what you’re making if, like TCB, you’re dealing with longer-form work that cannot simply be reduced to a TikTok-sized bite. Attention spans are gone, interest is spread incredibly thin, and everything is awash in content. Kickstarter algorithms have changed and grown in a way that benefits the website itself but hinders smaller indie creators, making it much harder to get people to look at your kickstarter than it used to be. (This is BAD, by the way.) If a kickstarter doesn’t have a grand enough start, and this one really didn’t, the algorithm will proceed to bury it even further. So it becomes vital to share it around. But why share it again, and again, and again—especially in the same community or to the same follower pool? Because, like I said, this place is an ocean. I don’t know about you guys, but I see an average of less than a tenth of the posts made by people I follow. I didn’t even know how much I was missing until I started actually having friends on here and realized I wasn’t seeing a lot of their stuff. So you gotta keep throwing out the line so that it will finally reach this different follower who might reblog it to be seen by this different follower, and so-on until it breaks containment and reaches some completely new eyes, like a former Spies Are Forever fan who may find their interest re-ignited. (And these posts have generated interest! I've seen it.) It’s a quest to spread the word as far as possible, when the internet is functioning in a way that wants to keep said word contained and concentrated. So it’s a bit of a Catch-22. We shut up about Tinlightenment in order to appease people who agree with my anonymous responder, and then all the buzz dies and the word stops and the kickstarter dies buried in the algorithm.

So, yeah, the old technique—TCB sets up the kickstarter and does their livestreams, the rest of us reblog it and maybe post the occasional promo but nothing too special—isn’t working. Sure, 50k in the first week sounds REALLY good on paper, but the first week is usually when the largest amount of fundraising happens, and if that pattern holds true Tinlightenment will not reach its goal by a long-shot. The backer numbers also weren’t/aren’t adding up to past campaigns. Joey isn’t live-streaming backer thank yous for his health. Corey isn’t raffling off Wigglys for the hell of it, or even as part of the original plan. The campaign is in trouble. Like TCB, we’ve found ourselves in the position of needing to switch up our technique without knowing how. So we try new thing after new thing in search of the best way to evolve. Unfortunately, it does lead to some people repeatedly encountering the same core message over and over again, but there you have it.

(We’re also fighting against history. Every big project officially announced by Starkid, Tin Can Bros, or Shipwrecked has ended up being realized. For a while, it really did feel like people just… passively assumed this one would happen as well. But Tinlightenment is different. They’re trying to raise a Starkid level of money despite not being Starkid, and have been pretty upfront that they can’t do this season at all without this influx of funding. And Kickstarter is all-or-nothing, remember. Tinlightenment stands a really good chance of being the first announced StarCanWrecked project to not get made, and that wasn’t really clicking with a lot of people. So we had to draw a thick line under that particular detail.)

And so there it is. A pretty basic overview of the technical “why” behind some of us being so pushy and annoying. It’s kinda’ unavoidable if we wish to fund Tinlightenment and avoid putting TCB into a financial hole that could temper any future projects for years to come. If you truly do find it so annoying, I would recommend blocking the “tinlightenment” tag for the rest of February. We do try to tag our shit (I did go back while writing this and see that I’d accidentally forgotten to tag the survey post. My apologies and the mistake has been corrected). Curate your experience!

Lastly, to be clear, I do not believe at all that this anonymous person is refusing to pledge because I annoyed them on Tumblr. They were not going to back anyway. They listed multiple other reasons in the “why aren’t you backing?” answer block and saved this particular comment for the “anything else you wanna say” space, so I think they were just a little annoyed and frustrated by an internet experience (join the club), were finally given a chance to express that feeling, and took to it with gusto. But if anyone out there truly is refusing to back solely because of annoying fan recruitment efforts…. Well, I’d ask if screwing over some fiercely indie creatives whose work you’ve enjoyed (through TCB, Starkid, or Shipwrecked), as well as over 900 other people, and also depriving yourself of a season of projects in the process (everything will be available for digital tickets!) is really worth getting one over on a handful of fans being temporarily annoying and passionate on the fans-being-annoying-and-passionate website. Especially when, by and large, they won’t ever even know. Like, do we really wanna prioritize being that petty?

[thewhumperinwhite]

WKW: The Voice That Shakes The Stones (Part 2)

Continued directly from this, but will make more sense if you've also read The Rose Queen parts 1 and 2.

This one follows part one in terms of getting some plot stuff out of the way up top and then some Really Heavy Whump in the back half lmao

TW for: broken bones (including ribs and spine), blood, aftermath of beating/caning, past/referenced child abuse, referenced parental death, referenced decapitation, Again Broken Bones To The Extent That It Is Essentially Body Horror.

----

Morden raises a sculpted eyebrow at Tern. “Been opening my mail, have you?”

Tern looks at him; or at least Morden assumes he does. Tern wears an elaborately constructed mask sewn out of feathers and leather and bone, and removes it very rarely.

“I open everyone’s mail,” Tern says.

Morden knows this, of course. He has no secrets to keep from his own Falconers, and if and when such secrets do arise, he will simply have Thorne deliver them. If Morden feels—caught off guard, set on edge, it is no fault of Tern’s, and snapping at his own Scout will not help him feel more in control, anyway. Morden arranges himself more casually at his desk with a bit of effort.

“What do you think of the Lady’s proposal?” he asks, forcing his voice back into its usual light and airy register.

Tern tilts his head. The mask makes him the most actually-birdlike of all the Falconers, a fact Morden usually finds endearing, though he is struggling not to be annoyed by it at the moment.

“It’s my job to know things, not to act on them,” Tern says finally. Which is a letdown after such a long thoughtful pause, even though it is also true. Morden does not roll his eyes, but the temptation is there. “What do you think, Mord?”

Morden sits up straight and brushes his hair from his face. What he thinks is, she must have eyes in the Castle that Morden can’t see, to be able to time this missive so exactly. But that thought is uselessly paranoid—Tern would know, and Tern would tell him—so he is not entertaining it. Or vocalizing it, either.

“I think she’s audacious,” he says instead, which is true. “And I think I had better consider carefully before I think anything much else.” He folds the letter back up, so that he will not keep reading it uselessly over and over, and looks up at Tern, pretending to make eye contact through the mask. “In the meantime, make sure the Prince doesn’t die, will you? I may finally be able to put him to some use.”

Tern nods, and stalks out silently, still in his soft-soled scouting boots.

Morden makes it, optimistically, another five minutes before he unfolds the letter to read it again.

“Your desires have aligned neatly with our own, dear Crane,” reads the now-familiar script, “and the appropriate sacrifices have been made.”

Morden has not yet opened the accompanying jeweled and gilded casket, but the size and heft of it—and, more importantly, the smell—makes him fairly confident he knows what will be inside.

“A healthy partnership ought be reciprocal, however,” the letter goes on.

Morden chews his thumbnail, a nervous habit he does not often indulge. He scolds himself; he is only now realizing how he has begun to enjoy his exchanges with the Rose Queen, how they have begun to feel so like a game of chess against an interesting opponent as to make him forget the stakes. It has left him feeling—exposed, now, at best; trapped if he is not careful.

He needs to make a plan.

----

This is not part of Crow’s job.

It’s all very well for Tern, who relays Crane’s instructions—“Fix up the Summer Prince; the White Crane had his fun and now wants not to play with broken toys”—and then scurry off with the excuse of some Important Scouting Duty, which Crow suspects is probably bullshit.

When Morden introduces the Falconer’s, he says that Crow’s job is “Throatcutter,” the one who makes sure everyone’s theatrics have resulted in actual corpses at the end of every ambush and skirmish. And although that isn’t all he does—far from it—that is certainly part of his job. If the White Crane had said, “I’m too busy to finish killing the Summer Prince, finish that up for me, will you?” Crow would have done it, and with a whistle and a spring in his step.

Crow is built for ending lives, it’s truly what he’s best at. He doesn’t prolong pain on purpose; he isn’t Raven. Once a creature is past a certain threshold of injury, keeping it alive becomes—boring and sad, and little else.

The Summer Prince flops slightly at Crow’s feet, as if hearing him think this. He is moving like a deboned fish. Sounds a bit like one, as well.

Morden is going to owe him, and Morden doesn’t enjoy owing things, even to his own Falconers. So at least, Crow thinks, there is that.

“I don’t suppose you can walk,” Crow says. He slides the toe of his boot underneath the writhing shape of the Summer Prince, meaning only to nudge him slightly.

There is—more give in the ribs than there should be.

The body at his feet spasms violently as the Prince tries to curl in around himself. He manages to twist his torso in a way that makes Crow’s gorge rise a bit in spite of himself, his handless arm flopping over and up to haphazardly cover his face. His legs don’t move at all.

Crow contemplates, very briefly, the idea of picking the Summer Prince up off the floor and carrying him to Heron’s quarters, or more probably to the Castle’s Healer. He doesn’t mind blood, as a rule. The blood would not be the problem.

The Prince heaves in what must be his first full breath since Crow entered the room several minutes ago. It scrapes audibly against his throat; the effort of taking it arcs his back up off the floor, except that his legs still haven’t moved. Something—either ribs or spine, Crow isn’t sure which—grinds audibly inside him and he loses whatever air he has managed to take in in a single quiet, bubbly-sounding wail.

“Eugh,” Crow says, and turns his back on what is rapidly becoming the corpse of the Summer Prince. Where has that bloody wolf pup got himself to? Cleaning up Morden’s messes is literally that kid’s whole job.

----

(Andry can’t see. He can almost breathe, if he tries very hard. It feels like lifting a very heavy weight, and at the height of each breath there is a sudden stabbing pain in his back, just left of the center, that makes him twitch. He is in—water, maybe. Or anyway his face and shoulders and ears feel wet. His lips feel wet, too, although the inside of his mouth feels very dry indeed.)

(He must have hit his head, he thinks. He knows that burning cracked-egg feeling well enough, in his temple and below his right ear and on the high point of his opposite cheek. And his back is cracked open that way too, not sharp and bone deep like the whip but broad and blunt and shattered like his father’s cane.)

(His father is—dead, he thinks, around the buzzing in his head, like bees tangled up in cotton wool. The White Crane cut off his father’s head, and Andry could not catch it when it was thrown. And now he cannot even tell if he is sorry. His father did kill him once, after all.)

(He had known where he stood with his father, though. His father was not elegant and smiling, like the White Crane.)

(Although the White Crane was not smiling this time, was he, Andry thinks; no, this time he was angry, and the worst part is that Andry does not even know why.)

(…Andry thinks that is the worst part. Then he tries to move his legs.)

----

Heron is the Falconers’ battlefield medic, and he is not a healer. He has smelling salts in his bag that will get a man to his feet and into the fray with an arrow through the stomach; and skill enough with a needle and a bandage to patch up even serious punctures well enough to heal on their own. He even knows the basic alchemy needed to keep a wound from going septic about seven times out of ten.

In this situation he is useful only in that he has a stretcher he is willing to bring to Thorne’s chamber in exchange for the privilege of seeing a mutilated body.

Crow returns with Thorne and Heron after about five minutes, and it is clear as he nears the threshold and begins to hear the Prince’s breath whistling in and out, like wind blowing across a broken bottle, that the boy has not done him the great favor of dying in the interim.

One of the Prince’s eyes is open when Crow stands over him again, but it is rolled back in his head far enough to hide all but a thin ring of blue-purple iris. The other eye is already swollen too far to open more than a crack. Every time he takes a far-too-audible breath he shudders, violently, exactly twice. His torso is still twisted at that odd angle, as though he has tried to roll over onto his side without lifting his hips.

Thorne has been helping Heron carry the stretcher. When he enters the room he drops his end of it with a loud clatter.

Heron does not seem to notice, though he gamely drops his end of the stretcher, too, so that he can dart closer to the body, his pale eyes glittering behind his physician’s mask.

(Tern and Heron are both masked more often than they aren’t; both masks, as far as Crow is concerned, are products of paranoia. Tern is convinced some authority or other is going to discover his identity, as though that would matter now that he is at the right hand of the conqueror of a whole damned country. Heron is concerned about inhalants. This seems sensible sometimes, even to Crow; Heron takes apart something like a half-dozen cadavers a week in pursuit of his craft. However he also wears the mask when it is just the eight of them alone in the Nest or in their rooms here at the castle, and that seems like overkill to Crow.)

As always, Heron’s hands are light, and clever, and ruthless. He pulls the Prince’s fluttering eyelid up and peers closely into his eye, tipping his head back quite gently. Then he presses his fingers against the Prince’s shattered ribs with slow, deliberate pressure, using his hand in the Prince’s hair to keep the Prince from curling up in a ball at what must be excruciating pain. Heron’s face is quite close to the Prince’s answering gasp. Crow, a safe distance away with his arms crossed, thinks to himself that perhaps Heron wouldn’t need the mask if he was willing to do his job without getting so very close.

When the Prince has relaxed out of his pain-spasm, Heron taps twice on the sharp edge of the Prince’s sharp recently-starved hip bone with a gloved fist. The Prince’s gasp this time is much quieter, more of a hiccup than an airless scream.

When Heron stretches out a booted foot to give the Prince’s calf a not-particularly-gentle kick, the Prince doesn’t react at all.

“That’s interesting,” Heron says, his voice dark with things Crow finds professionally distasteful.

----

Thorne left Andry—what, thirty minutes ago? An hour? Surely no more than that. Thorne left Andry asleep on the couch at the foot of his bed, wrapped in Thorne’s borrowed sheets, curled up like a child with the stump of his missing hand tucked under his chin.

Thorne’s bedsheets are in disarray, now, on the floor in front of the couch. There is blood on them. There seems, at least to Thorne’s suddenly spotty and blurred vision, to be blood more places than there isn’t.

Heron’s hand is on Andry’s throat, now, prodding narrow deep bruise that is forming there. Heron is hovering over Andry with the same excited twitchy over-interest with which he treats any sick or injured person. Thorne is familiar enough with Heron’s attention to remember the growing unease and sick, crawling discomfort it inspires.

He usually finds it easier to look away.

“Well go on,” Crow snaps at him from where leaning against the wall, looking mildly disgusted but little else. “Get him on the fucking stretcher already.”

Thorne’s instinct to obey is honed sharply enough that he moves to follow the order without thinking. So at least there is that relief.

[bookscandlesnbts]

Not the same anon that before but I just wanted to react to the discourse. Scratch that ask if you don’t want to talk about it any further.

"Kpop idols pretty much only announce marriages (of course straight ones duh since Korea is super homophobic) and that doesn’t even go over well."

Here lies the whole problem imo. We don’t have to know about idols relationships, who they date etc, but the extreme secrecy around it is part of what drives the backlash once they announce their marriage or whatever. They shouldn’t have to go public about it, but just live their lives without having to live under complete secrecy. It’s probably a matter of cultural differences, ever since I’ve been into kpop it’s one aspect of idols life that I never understood. I live in Western Europe and here no one cares about celebrities dating, it’s totally normal. Sure, some hardcore fans might cry about it but honestly it’s pretty much a non issue. As long as idols continue to accept that life of secrecy, then unfortunately they’ll have to deal with those crazy bs reactions. That’s why personally I think Tae and Jennie have been really brave, they acted like a normal couple having a date night in Paris like any normal couple would have and they didn’t two fucks about it. It still sucks that people took pictures - it’s beyond me how people have the guts to take pics of ppl without their consent and drop it on the internet…- but I think that was an encouraging first time to show that they’re just regular human beings with regular love lives.

Hi anon. Don’t worry, I can definitely tell that you aren’t the same anon. I also think TaeJennie were brave. Idk why people skipped past the Paris thing or act like it didn’t mean anything because it was a huge step and definitely a choice. When Jennie’s phone got hacked and her private photos were leaked, they could have easily swept it under the rug and ignored it, but months later to hold hands and then she admits in a magazine interview that they are together? That’s huge.

I too am from the western world (the US not Europe) and I have a theory about why the idol culture is the way that it is there. And one of the factors I’ve always thought of is the size of the country. The US is huge. I don’t live anywhere near LA (a common place for celebs to live) and our transportation here is terrible so it’s not easy for me to get there. I know I would probably never see a celebrity. I feel so much more removed from them if that makes sense. But Korea is tiny in comparison. It only takes 4 hours by train to get between the two biggest cities on opposite ends of the country. I can’t even drive 4 hours and make it to a different state. I can see how the delulu there would be a lot stronger if you were in closer proximity to the idols. Even in rural parts of the country, distance wise you aren’t separated by much and one could theoretically move to Seoul easier than I could move to LA. It’s much easier to sell the y/n fantasy when you have a higher chance of being near an idol or a celeb in Korea. Just look at how many foreigners go visit Korea thinking they will run into idols (and some of them do). That’s crazy to me to want to do that but that’s not the point. I don’t know what it would take to shift their culture, but I suspect geography is a bigger part of the equation than people realize.

[xx-justsomeguy-xx]

some kinda brainrot ig of some other version of genshin!dola bc i can’t stop thinking abt what is essentially a single dad wrio au for her

honestly i think if i started playing genshin *now* after fontaine came out i think i would’ve made dola a pure fontainian and had her mostly grow up under wrio’s care from the start. The way her lore goes, she goes to look for wrio after she starts suspecting that he’s a long lost half-uncle after going through her late maternal grandparents’ old journals, so it wouldn’t be hard to find some reason for wrio to be her guardian?

like. just have it so that one of the grandparents (like whoever one of them is wrio’s biological parent) legally entrusts her care to him if for whatever reason there’s just no one left who can. then boom! wrio’s got a kid to look after.

then i feel like her life would just get so much… nicer? if she gets to grow up without her bullshit immediate family + gets to experience wrio and his emotional maturity and compassion instead. and also everything else that comes with living in fontaine with him in the fortress lmao like—

- some of the permanent residents of the fortress would end up kinda adopting her too? ofc some are just being nice to her to earn brownie points with wrio but for sure some just like doting on a kid. those guys get a little extra coupon credits then anyone caught taking advantage of dola get to meet wrio’s gauntlets personally shdjs

- sigewinne as a big sister that also kinda observes dola under a magnifying glass so to speak (like has sigewinne ever had the chance to mingle with human children). absolutely has dola join her in making bets with the melusines on who can get stickers on wrio + doesnt take long for dola to also just join in with the mischief (he peels off her stickers the most carefully and saves them somewhere)

- mandatory sunlight time. i know wrio doesnt actually head to the surface that often even though he loves the sun but he’s not gonna let the kid wilt in the shadows (thinking abt his line abt pets lmao) so everyday or every few days he goes up to the overworld for a walk with her. ends up making him overall happier too bc he also desperately needs the sun but probably couldnt justify taking what seems to be a fairly long trip there on a frequent basis

- neuvilette and furina meeting her while she’s still a lil nugget bc she refuses to let wrio leave her behind no matter how much he tells her that he has to go alone to an important meeting… so he’s sitting in palais mermonia having tea with neuvi and furina while dola’s sat next to him quietly munching on some cookies. neuvilette isn’t sure what to make of the situation while furina tries to win dola over by bribing her with sweets (it works) and wrio has to carry sleeping dola back to the fortress after she passed out from the sugar crash + the sheer boredom of whatever those guys had a meeting about

- lil dola being awestruck when she sees clorinde duel and wrio ends up having to pay clorinde to give her some sword-fighting lessons bc he feels bad that there isn’t really anyone dola can play swords with in the fortress that isn’t double her size. so he just… has her actually learn how to use a sword since that’s even better + doubles as her learning to protect herself. wrio then has to deal with dola accidentally breaking things while practicing and eventually lets her train in the pankration ring when nothing’s going on (there are always guards assigned to watch her in case she hurts herself)

- navia probably knew dola even before she ended up in wrio’s care bc she probably gets clothes from her family and so when she finds out that she’s with wrio and wrio’s kinda stuck on what to do, she tells her dad and then callas helps wrio out a little with figuring out how to take care of a little girl who will inevitably have to go through puberty ahsjsa

- full belief that navia spoils her when she catches her and clorinde training, she just seems like the type. like drops by during training with food and baked goods and maybe clothes sometimes and wrio has to kindly ask her to take it easy lmao

- wrio gets the weirdest mix of emotions when dola gets a vision at a really young age? like 10? and after seeing its a dendro vision + dola’s inclination towards academics and research he cant help but have a mini crisis about her possibly wanting to go to the akademiya for a formal education

- (maybe she actually does go to the akademiya and meets the sumeru squad?)

- wrio having to deal with suddenly (kinda) have an answer to who his biological parents are (or at least one of them) and now he can’t help but think back on every interaction he’s ever had with dola’s family, who are a family of artists and clothing designers (that i hc as having gifted him his coat when he became duke). leaves a weird feeling in his gut but he manages to take it in stride the way he somehow has with the rest of the shit in his life

then i’m thinking abt how she ends up meeting diluc and kaeya and tbh i feel like its possible for crepus to take then with him during a business trip to fontaine so that his boys can get a chance to sightsee?

ofc with this setup i dont think dola has much reason to work as a mercenary like she does in her regular genshin canon >.> but i do think she’d have reason to travel a lot bc she isnt the type to be content with staying in one place + i do think with a more stable life she’d eventually want to go to sumeru to study, and that would be how she ends up travelling a lot. double darshan with spantamad and amurta perhaps?

[tmbgareok]

I have a question regarding vinyl printing on your website. I was really interested in purchasing John Henry on vinyl and I was wondering if it would ever be reprinted through your official distributor for purchase on tmbg.com. I'm also curious to know if this could possibly happen with other albums as well such as factory showroom, the spine, and any other albums/releases that were released in previous years but aren't being sold.

I was also curious about releases for kid's albums such as here comes science since you've released why?.

I'd appreciate if you responded it means a lot that you read this. Best regards, cheers!

JF: we are systematically addressing every album we have the ability to get on vinyl or back on vinyl. Some projects are easier than others in terms of existing films for artwork, and properly mastered audio. Others require a significant bit of finessing (curiously the repackaging of releases that were previously CD+cassette only are often harder as the films need to be blown up almost double their original size and resolution issues abound). The assembly line began a couple of years back with the pink album reissue, Lincoln, Mink Car, the Flood picture disc, and Apollo 18 and accompanying picture disc. We are working on a few things right now-Long Tall Weekend, The Spine, The Else, a compilation including The Spine Surfs Alone and additional semi-lost tracks around that era. New versions of John Henry, Factory Showroom and Severe Tire Damage are definitely front-of-mind, but there are art challenges there for sure. The Disney stuff is entirely out of our control, and I suspect they don't really have any interest in vinyl at all unless it was a million-selling piece of their catalog (and even then it might not be a market they service)

UPDATE/CLARIFICATION

This is a pretty complete list of what is in the works. That does not mean we know when even the next project will actually cross the finish line (we just finished Mink Car, Apollo 18 and picture disc, all of which were a bit of hassle to get going) We are a very small business with perfectly limited resources and not a ton of “pull” with our partners. A big issue we run up against over and over again is putting in an order, getting a delivery date of three months and it arrives nine months later. (think overwhelming increase in demand for vinyl in general, internal failures in vinyl production like the Apollo Masters fire, pandemic, war, supply chain breakdowns, international inflation, etc. The volatility in this kind of manufacturing has gotten so dire that we no longer take advanced orders on anything, because we simply can’t count on any manufacturer’s delivery estimate. So without even trying, something we might assume this week is showing up in February might not really get to us until September. In summary-the scene is nuts.

[topknotstrunk]

I get the stylisation they’re going for here, but I still cannot believe how bad and generic the character designs are. Particularly the fire elementals, when they’re standing in a group they all meld together because there’s no variation in color or texture, only size. It really looks like something that either a big budget studio would have put out at least a decade ago or that a low budget one might slip into the bargain bin of your local Wal*Mart. I can’t even really articulate why the fire and water elemental look /so bad/. Amateur? Unpolished? Someone more informed on character design help me out here.

It’s not that they’re simple, because simple can be great character design.

Like from another Pixar movie, Sadness is mostly round, and is blue which Americans associate with sad [you can say “Someone is feeling blue.” even to indicate that they’re sad]. Even if we just boil this down to their basic shapes, Sadness is an upside down tear drop, joy is a star, fear is a question mark, anger is a square, and disgust is a triangle.

Even if we take away their colors these all look like very different characters.

Here’s that same experiment with some fire elementals.

Ans some water ones. They don’t stand up to the same test. The water ones have more character variation in their hair, and benefit from not having to wear metal so they have more clothing options, but they look very homogeneous, very cut and paste.

I feel like I’ve seen Element City in a ton of other CG movies already.

I don’t think that’s because the city looks like something that already exists in a movie, exactly, but that it doesn’t look like its own thing, it looks like a pastiche of other fantastical CG movie. Like, if I didn’t tell you that the theme of this city is that elementals live here, I don’t know that you’d be able to guess that. It looks like a fantasy city with solar punk elements.

Also, “elements don’t mix”. Sure, it’s probably bad for water and fire to touch each other, but what about water and air? Is the argument that air and fire that air might blow out fire? Or air and earth? Or water and Earth? I think they saw a bit of this problem early in development because the earth elementals are more plant elementals, cause if they were made of rock fire would probably be fine. Water as an element and not a person would be especially important to a plant person, right? And the air elementals are depicted as clouds, which are, in the real world, made of water. I mean, sure, from what we see of the Water home an element that can’t swim couldn’t live in a water elemental’s home, but I can easily imagine a split level apartment where the lower level is flooded with a catwalk to allow an earth or air elemental cohabitating to get in and out, and since water can walk on land they could just go to the upper level to spend time with their roommate/partner/friend/what have you. Edit: Re-watching the trailer, the water home that we see is already a split level home with some raised, dry platforms and some flooded areas.

I am almost certainly hammering the logic of this cartoon too hard, and who knows, maybe the movie’s wrap up will present some of this stuff and say, “See, turns out we can mix!”

IDK, I hope the story really has something special in store or else I suspect it will be doing battle with The Good Dinosaur for Least Good Pixar Movie for me.

[electricbluebutterflies]

Jess/Leto + “is this your first time?”

This prompt decided it needed to be super-cute modern AU so here we are. PG-ish, equivalent to early-era, and also on ao3.

This is a terrible idea.

There are days Jessica has to remind herself that she had anxiety before this relationship happened to her, but there’s just something about the dynamic that turns up her petty fears in a way that makes her want more and there’s definitely something wrong with her that she’s a good ten or fifteen years from actually figuring out and-

Normal people do not make such a big deal out of something as small as a trip to the seasonal ice skating rink. Jessica is slowly giving up on trying to appear normal.

It’s not her fault that this place looks like a wonderland of lawsuit bait, and she’d probably have some thoughts on the design and construction too except-

“What shoe size are you again?”

They have been together just under a year, Jessica reminds herself. It is perfectly okay that her partner can’t remember that detail. (She suspects he never will, but that’s more worries she can deal with later, after…)

She tells the attendant and is handed a pair of ice skates that look… possibly older than she is, but again her baseline is-

There are attempts at being normal – so, so many attempts – and then there is trying to pretend everything is fine in the middle of December and everything is not fine and she cannot screw this up and she can’t-

“Something wrong?” her partner asks, and at least her general pretending-not-to-spiral signals get through to him, and-

“Could you help me put these on?” See, she thinks, she can talk her way out of this, she can-

He wants to take care of her. Hell if she knows why, but she’s not above taking advantage of it sometimes.

By the standards she functions under, lying about lack of experience with what should have been a normal activity at some point in her life is… a lesser sin, she thinks, but still necessary, still the fear of it, still-

“Is this your first time?”

Lovely.

Fine, maybe she takes advantage of him more than she admits. Maybe she noticed his tendency to just go with things and not ask any more questions than necessary and part of her was and is really, really attracted to that. Maybe she’s still convinced that she can avoid conversations about her background forever, and maybe she will, and-

“I didn’t get out much before you,” she murmurs, hoping that’ll be the end of it and well aware she’ll never be that lucky.

“I’ve figured that out, but…”

“Ice skating never happened because too many people, most of whom might have… made judgements about outfit choices.”

“And I’m assuming none of the other holiday stuff because…”

“Varied reasons. And not a conversation I’m having in public, okay?”

She knows that look in his eyes, the lists that will be made by the time this is over with, another layer of how to adequately socialize a girlfriend whose background could politely be described as culturally isolated and she hates this and she never asked for it and she loves it and-

“You’ll be good at this.”

“You are a nicer person than I-“

“Stop internally hurting yourself for five damn minutes and just…”

“Do you think this place has insurance?”

“Almost definitely not enough. It’ll be fine.”

Her cultivated paranoia says otherwise, but it feels alright to let his stubbornness win over hers and-

“Don’t let go of me?”

“Never.”

She’s still not sure about this as they get out onto the ice rink, but she trusts that her partner is strong enough to get her up when she inevitably falls and-

Maybe, just maybe, she’s overthinking this.

She still stays as close to the wall as possible, so her free hand will have something to grab if she needs it, but… she doesn’t. This is not an experience she has any real desire to repeat, but she would if he asked, and isn’t that just so likely to be her undoing, and-

“You didn’t say no,” he says after a while. “I thought this would be fun and-“

“You’re a hard person to resist. And this isn’t… terrible.”

“High compliment from you.”

“Maybe I’m starting to like being challenged.”

He takes that as permission to twirl her, and for a moment she has no idea what’s going on and then it feels warm and-

“Warn me before you do that again.”

“That did not sound like don’t do that again…”

“Trying to compromise, okay?”

They’ll figure this out, she thinks. Eventually. Maybe.

She’ll at least try.

[plague-of-insomnia]

never tell me i can send u asks about kuro ill abuse that power :)

anyway thoughts on the canon sebastian & tanaka relationship?? i kinda see it as like a halfway father/son thing bc of the mentor/mentee relationship & seb actually respecting him

maybe also bc of fortius quo fidelius by Idonquixote

Hey, anon. I’ll confess I hadn’t given too much thought to their relationship before I got this ask. I have not read Idonquixote’s Seb/Tanaka fics (yet), but I am a huge fan of their sebard series and have read it a few times.

But this ask did inspire me to incorporate Tanaka into my new sebagni story, Synchronize. It’s not canon, so not directly in response to this ask, but in that fic, Tanaka is definitely a father/grandfather figure to Seb. He raised him and cares for him like his own child. I really adore their relationship in that story. (I’ll be posting the first chapter on AO3 soon, either today or maybe after Valentine’s Day so it’s not lost in the deluge lol.)

As for canon, I do think Tanaka is a very interesting character who isn’t talked about much. I suspect he’s not entirely human himself (how many old men can cut a bullet in half or easily flip a grown man twice his size and half his age?). And I’ve always thought that he knows a lot more than it may seem.

Like, I think he knew OC wasn’t “Ciel” and was truly glad to see he was alive, not bc he thought he was the heir but just bc he loved him and was relieved he had survived. I also think he knows that Sebastian isn’t just some butler. Whether he knows he’s not human or that he’s a demon, ofc I can’t say. But he definitely seems to have suspicions.

For example, when Seb comes back to life he doesn’t seem surprised, and even scoffs, “A Phantomhive butler dying before his master…unheard of” or something to that effect, but in a way that it’s like he was saying “yeah I know this whole thing was a setup.”

Even though I had not given it too much thought, I do think Sebastian does respect Tanaka as “the epitome of a butler” and as such has looked to him for advice and such. Even if he doesn’t always take it (like in the Green Witch arc), I think he acknowledges that Tanaka has served the Phantomhives well and loyally for years and that means something.

Since he’s a demon, I’m not sure if I could describe a relationship with anyone in familial terms bc I don’t think Seb would look at it that way. But I do think there aren’t many humans that have earned his respect, and I suspect Tanaka is one of them. I think part of why he knew he could be “dead” and unable to directly protect Ciel was because Tanaka would be there. Not only as protector but to keep the household running as well.

I think it’s also significant that Tanaka is the one who Seb will allow to do whatever while the other servants are always being yelled at.

Thanks for the ask, Anon. It was fun to think about. Im sorry I couldn’t respond sooner. At first it was bc I was genuinely taking time to process it and think and then bc life got in the way.

I don’t mind asks like this at all, so feel free to send any and I’ll respond when I can. (^_^)

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

The Foxy Mimic was still living in the Lost and Found. He was not watching the channel, and did not know that Monty knows.

As soon as he sees the title of the video where Monty found out, he drops the act and tries to run. Sounds like the same one Sun and Moon saw.

Monty proceeds to try to hunt him for sport. And enjoys it. When they caught him, they beat him unconscious.

Mimic wakes up in the tube, naked. He is given an ultimatum: 30 minutes of torture, or two hours of dying.

Mimic picked Foxy because he made it super easy, and it’s in Mimic’s code to cause chaos.

Mimic is “one of the smaller ones” but can change his size to fit whichever suit he wants.

Monty asks which side of the guitar would hurt more. Mimic tells them with no hesitation. Monty explains that they weren’t talking about beating him to death, they were talking about shoving it up his ass. Mimic points out that he doesn’t have an ass to shove it up. Monty says it doesn’t matter, it will still hurt.

Mimic is “not really one of the smart ones”

Mimic is very blatantly studying Monty’s body and mannerisms while Monty informs him that he’s dying today.

Monty leaves for two minutes to call Puppet. When he comes back, Mimic has somehow gotten and put on a Monty suit. While still in the tube.

Momty calls Foxy to inform him. Mimic proceeds to scream for help over the phone in Monty’s voice.

While Foxy confirms Monty’s identity, Mimic escapes.

Monty decides to take their glasses off to differentiate themself from Mimic. And are also confused about how Mimic got a Monty suit, since they don’t have any spares.

He/It pronouns for Mimic I guess?

Mimic and Crazy Fangirl have a channel, and it is flopping.

Monty suspects that Mimic might still be in the tube, pretending to be the chair.

Puppet shows up, learns Mimic escaped and has a Monty suit, and gets suspicious. Monty proceeds to aggressively drop their SSN and credit card information completely unprompted, much to Puppet’s confusion.

Puppet’s been doing his homework. All Mimics are different, all of them are chaotic, and all of them are weirdos.

Puppet thinks Mimic grabbed several schematics from the tube’s computer in the two minutes Monty called him.

Puppet points out that Monty is already chaotic and aggressive, so less people are likely to suspect ‘Monty’ of being the Mimic.

New mystery character Puppet knows to be introduced at some point to help.

Puppet tells Monty to break the P&S computer in case Mimic is still around, so it can’t steal anymore schematics. He doesn’t even finish explaining before Monty starts punching it.

Monty’s fist gets stuck in the screen.

Monty blackmails Puppet into helping him get their hand unstuck, by threatening to leak his internet history. It does not work, all Puppet watches is anime, and he is proud of it.

Puppet does eventually help. Monty immediately punches him in the face. It was originally going to be a prank where Monty pulls their fist out and flicks Puppet, but Puppet pissed them off by being incredibly unwilling to help, so they punched him instead.

Puppet is not amused. He wasn’t hurt, but he’s very annoyed. Monty tries to make it up to him, but he refuses. He decides he’s done helping Monty. Monty rightfully feels like an ass.

Mimic: You go out there, and do your thing. I’ll be here. In this little cage. That can for sure hold me.

___

Monty: I guess you could ask me a question only the REAL Monty would know!

Foxy: Sure. What are the last four of your social security number?

Monty: I- Ask me a different question that won’t get leaked out on the internet

Foxy: Okay. What the the wacky 3 digits on the back of your credit card?

Monty: *Censored*

Foxy: That’s- that’s correct. Address?

Monty: I- This place???

Guess it makes sense why he doesn’t have the glasses on now

[elyvorg]

A Friend, Locked Up: post-fic plot summary

This is a bit of a companion post for one of my Great Ace Attorney fics, following up on how the rest of the story in that AU would differ from canon after the point where the fic ended. Spoilers for the game, of course! (and I guess the fic too, kinda but actually not really?)

The fic ended before reaching Kazuma’s trial itself, because trials aren’t as engaging in prose form and the real emotional climax of the narrative was when Kazuma’s friends choose to believe in him. I imagine readers can take it as a given that of course Ryunosuke successfully manages to defend his friend, and then the Professor case still comes up and that part goes similarly to in canon.

But I did have some thoughts anyway about how Kazuma’s trial might hypothetically go if this were in the actual game (like it should have been, grr), which I eventually managed to piece together into a full thing. So while I won’t write this as a fic, here’s a summarised outline for anyone who’s interested!

Trial start

-      Van Zieks is prosecuting, naturally – he gave it some thought like he promised Ryunosuke he would and decided to take the case. Partly this is out of wanting to be the one to take Kazuma down if he really is such a terrible monster like his father totally was (…right?). But in part it’s also because van Zieks has grown willing to entertain the possibility that Ryunosuke might be right to trust his friend, and so he wants to ensure the case is handled honourably and without corruption. He suspects that any other prosecutor assigned to it may not do that.

-      (Stronghart is cool with van Zieks handling the case, even though it’s probably a bit questionable for the previous defendant to do so, because he assumes van Zieks will happily charge in and destroy Kazuma for him without mercy, just like Kazuma tried to do in reverse. He does not realise that van Zieks has begun to soften up and doubt his hatred.)

-      Stronghart is of course still the judge, and he makes the same declaration at the beginning of “we will stop at nothing to uncover the whole truth” that he does in canon.

-      The prosecution’s opening statement includes confirming the blood and bullet hole found at the crime scene, presenting a photo that clearly shows said bullet hole in the wall.

-      Van Zieks also presents a pile of Japanese clothes belonging to Jigoku that were found in the cabin, and a particular loose button among them that wasn’t matched to any of the clothes. Investigators later matched the button to the cuff on Kazuma’s outfit, which is indeed missing a button. This is proof that it was pulled off during some kind of struggle in that room, and therefore that Kazuma did more than just swing a sword at a trunk.

-      This tracks with what Ryunosuke knows – Kazuma admitted he struggled with Gregson over the gun despite not shooting him with it – but it sure doesn’t help him look good.

-      Ryunosuke feels kind of odd about the missing button on Kazuma’s cuff but can’t put his finger on why. He noticed it wasn’t there when visiting him in prison yesterday too, but…

-      As Ryunosuke rightly pointed out at the end of van Zieks’s trial, the main big mystery that the prosecution needs to answer here is how Kazuma could have moved the body from the SS Grouse back to London without being discovered. The only person whose luggage wasn’t searched when disembarking the ship at Dover was Jigoku. And a trunk that looks exactly like Jigoku’s, containing bloodstains on the inside, was recently found dumped in the Thames.

Testimony 1

-      So, Jigoku is called to testify. He claims that the trunk found in the Thames is not his; it just happens to be an identical model, because he bought his trunk in London during his time here ten years ago and the same kind are still sold today. (It’s actually quite plausible that Jigoku might have bought his person-sized trunk in London last time, since he must have been planning to smuggle Genshin home somehow!)

-      The prosecution claims that Kazuma purchased a trunk identical to Jigoku’s and brought it with him to Dunkirk that day. Conveniently Gregson is dead and none of the ship’s staff are available as witnesses because the Grouse had to set sail again, so nobody can refute this.

-      The argument is that Kazuma put Gregson’s body in this trunk after killing him, froze it in the ship’s refrigerator overnight, then secretly switched it with Jigoku’s trunk shortly before the luggage check to get it past customs without it being searched. He then must have switched them back sometime after.

-      Jigoku’s testimony confirms that his trunk was being handled by staff out of his sight enough times between Dover and his hotel room for the swaps to have been possible without him being aware of it.

-      Ryunosuke’s first line of attack during his cross-examination is to point out the pile of Jigoku’s clothes found on the floor of his cabin. This strongly suggests they were removed to make space for the body in Jigoku’s actual trunk, and so there’s no way Jigoku couldn’t have known.

-      Jigoku gives an excuse that, nah, he just left them on the ship because he wasn’t going to need Japanese clothes in England, and he’s rich enough that he can just buy more. The fact that he removed them doesn’t prove he had sinister motives in doing so.

-      Ryunosuke then brings up that this means his trunk would have been rather light, and so he would have noticed an obvious discrepancy in weight between his own trunk and the one containing Gregson’s body. Jigoku is forced to claim that he did indeed never notice such a thing – but the first time he had to carry the trunk himself after arriving in Britain was upon reaching the hotel. This narrows down when Kazuma supposedly switched the trunks back: Jigoku must have had his own trunk with him again by the time he was at the hotel.

-      Then, this is what we can use the photo of the group at the hotel for in this version of the story! Let me make a minor retroactive edit to canon: the trunk in the photo always had a distinctively-shaped scuff mark visible on one edge. The same scuff mark can also be seen by examining the bloodied trunk that was found in the Thames. Thus, Ryunosuke can prove that the trunk used to transport Gregson’s body must have been Jigoku’s own trunk that was with him the whole time, and the alleged switching never happened at all.

-      Van Zieks presented this whole line of argument about the supposed switched trunks only because Stronghart ordered him to. He was always suspicious about its legitimacy and is quite happy for Ryunosuke to have shot it down. He is here to uncover all the corruption going on in this case, Jigoku’s and all.

-      At this point, Stronghart demands that Ryunosuke present some kind of proof as to why Jigoku would have ever let himself have any involvement in this crime, and Ryunosuke is forced to present the exchange assassination contract to establish Jigoku’s connection to Gregson’s murder. He's a little hesitant to do that, because it does also make Kazuma look considerably worse, but he does it anyway. It’s the truth.

-      Jigoku has no choice but to admit that he knowingly partook in moving the body. That’s all he’s confessing to, however. He still maintains that Kazuma did the actual murder.

Testimony 2

-      Now that he has nothing left to lose, Jigoku claims that he personally witnessed Kazuma killing Gregson, through a small hole in the cabin door as he was arriving back at his cabin. Kazuma then supposedly confronted Jigoku in the doorway and blackmailed him – with the assassination contract – into moving the body for him, hence Jigoku’s excuse for why he didn’t bring this up until now.

-      There is indeed a small hole of some kind in the cabin door that Jigoku could have seen things through; it’s visible in the crime scene photo shown earlier. The police weren’t sure what made it but didn’t have enough time to investigate it further beyond concluding that it wasn’t relevant to the case.

-      Part of Jigoku’s testimony mentions blood splattering over Kazuma when he shot Gregson at point blank range. (This is almost certainly a detail Jigoku only included because he vividly recalls it happening when he shot Gregson.) Pressing elsewhere in his testimony gets Jigoku to specify that the outfit Kazuma was wearing that day was the same white one he’s wearing now.

-      There’s no evidence to present to this, but Ryunosuke and Susato figure out that they can use the jury-style tactic of pitting one statement against another. Jigoku’s contradicting himself – blood can’t have splattered over Kazuma’s white clothes without being obviously visible afterwards.

-      Jigoku argues that maybe Kazuma had a spare of the white outfit that he brought with him and changed into afterwards while dumping the bloody one in the sea. Van Zieks of all people objects to refute this, vouching that the outfit used to belong to his brother and is one-of-a-kind.

-      Jigoku frantically backpedals, claiming that, well, okay, maybe he misremembered the clothes Kazuma was wearing and it was actually some other outfit he wore during the murder. Conveniently there’s nobody else around to testify and confirm he was wearing the white outfit that day, right?

-      At this, Ryunosuke can object and bring up the loose button from Kazuma’s cuff that was found in the cabin, pulled off during the struggle with Gregson. Proof that Kazuma really was wearing the white clothes at the scene!

-      In response, Jigoku accidentally blurts out something like, “But that wasn’t when it was pulled off…!” and then stops himself when he realises what he just said.

-      Kazuma picks up on what this is implying and mentions that there was one point during his questioning when one of the police officers got somewhat rough with him and grabbed his arm. It’s possible that the button could have been pulled off his cuff then and planted in the pile of Jigoku’s clothes to incriminate him. And Jigoku’s slip of the tongue basically just confirmed that this is indeed what happened. Oops.

-      Jigoku claims that this is only something he overheard the officers talking about and totally wasn’t involved in himself, and he points the blame for the fabrication at van Zieks. Van Zieks – who of course had no idea about this and is furious – argues that if he was trying to illegitimately frame Kazuma then he would hardly have helped the defence’s case just now by volunteering the fact about the clothes being one-of-a-kind.

-      Still, as much of a mess as this is, the fact that evidence was fabricated to frame Kazuma doesn’t actually prove his innocence, nor does knowing about this necessarily prove Jigoku’s guilt. While a regular judge would be more likely to err on the side of innocence since the fabrication introduced doubt (this is basically what happened with McGilded), the judge here is Stronghart. He is not about to let Kazuma off based on anything short of explicit proof he didn’t do it. Kazuma was still there at the scene and has admitted to his struggle with the victim, and, since the button was not in fact indicative of the clothes he was wearing at the time, Jigoku’s testimony that he saw Kazuma pull the trigger and get splattered with blood still holds.

-      Just then, with things looking dire and Ryunosuke and Susato at a loss for what else to do… suddenly there’s a meowing sound. This trial happens to be taking place in the one courtroom in the Old Bailey that has a cat flap in the door, and in wanders Wagahai, wearing a cute Iris-made kitty backpack.

-      Inside it is a photograph of… the door to the cabin on the Grouse. Just that, nothing else. On the back, there’s a note in Sholmes’s handwriting, reading: I took this after your second call that day. Many thanks to Miss Susato for the inspiration.

-      Susato is confused for a moment – she didn’t ask Sholmes to do anything in particular that day while he was on the ship – until it hits her. And she falls silent, evasive, too seized by sudden guilt to voice what she’s realised, leaving Ryunosuke to figure it out himself.

-      The cabin door in this photo doesn’t have a hole in it. And yet it was taken when Sholmes was there, long after the murder. The hole that Jigoku supposedly witnessed the murder through must have been added illegally by the investigating police, working with Jigoku, to allow the possibility of condemning Kazuma through testimony if need be. But Jigoku couldn’t possibly have seen what he claims he saw – and the only reason he would lie about that is if he was Gregson’s true killer.

-      (Sholmes only thought of taking this photo as a precaution because of what Susato did with the peephole to trap the criminal in 1-5. Susato’s brilliance there helped save Kazuma here! And this time it didn’t require any accidental tampering with the crime scene on our friends’ part.)

The rest

-      So Jigoku breaks down and confesses, including to the part where the exchange mastermind created a phony Reaper mission to give him the chance to kill Gregson.

-      Kazuma is officially declared not guilty. But just as Stronghart is about to adjourn the court, Kazuma himself objects to this, insisting that the trial cannot end here. Jigoku’s confession gave him exactly the proof he needed that the exchange mastermind and the Reaper are the same person, and he’s determined to use that to finally solve his father’s case, here and now, before things can be swept under the rug. The previous trial for Gregson’s murder originally set out to also be about confirming the identity of the Reaper after all these years; surely it would be premature to close the case without answering that?

-      Initially, Stronghart doesn’t seem opposed to the idea. However, once Kazuma and Ryunosuke explain why the Reaper has to be the man who ordered Klint’s autopsy to be forged, and van Zieks confirms that this had nothing to do with him and it must have been Stronghart, of course Stronghart tries to shut things down and insist the Professor case is closed.

-      Enter Sholmes, with the same part as in canon where he reminds the court of Stronghart’s “stop at nothing to uncover the whole truth” claim at the beginning, and the judiciary demands the trial continue.

-      Van Zieks is somewhat conflicted about this – one the one hand he’s glad for a chance to put paid to the rumour that he’s the Reaper once and for all, but on the other he’s not thrilled to revisit the Professor case – but nonetheless he agrees to pursue this supplementary hearing alongside the defence. He asks for a brief recess first, even though Mikotoba is right here, to help him prepare the details of the case.

-      As they return to the antechamber, while Susato is congratulating Kazuma on his acquittal, Ryunosuke is just beaming with joy and relief… and he goes and gives Kazuma a big hug.

-      Kazuma is stunned for a moment, but then he leans in and hugs back, tight. All he says is, “Thank you,” leaving it ambiguous whether it’s thanks for the defence, for the hug, or just… for everything. (It’s for everything.)

-      After pulling away, Ryunosuke sheepishly mumbles that he’s sorry, it’s just that he’s been meaning to do this for a while and…

-      Kazuma just chuckles and says, “What are you apologising for?”

-      Kazuma tells Ryunosuke that he’s leaving everything to him, trusting in him to find the whole truth of his father’s case. Ryunosuke is bewildered that Kazuma’s talking like he won’t be there himself – but Kazuma, as much as he hates it, has resigned himself to the fact that he won’t be allowed to. He’s merely a recently-acquitted defendant who (especially after his disgraceful showing the last time he prosecuted) has no right to stand in court for this.

-      Right then, van Zieks walks in with the words, “What are you talking about?” Kazuma’s still his apprentice and judicial assistant, and while van Zieks doesn’t exactly like him yet, he knows that Kazuma of all people has just as much right to play a part in seeing the Professor case through to the end as anyone. Stronghart might object, but as the lead prosecutor, van Zieks has the final say in who stands at his bench alongside him, and he’s choosing to have Kazuma there. (This is the real reason he called the recess – so he could do this.)

-      Kazuma still doesn’t really like van Zieks yet either, but he understands exactly how much of a big deal this offer is, coming from him, and accepts it with deepest gratitude.

-      The rest then goes basically the same as the Professor part of the final trial in canon, except without any of the bits where Kazuma is still hating and trying to blame van Zieks, since he got over that earlier in this AU. And in this version, both of them are standing at the prosecutor’s bench together!

-      (Okay, but this might actually end up making the bits where van Zieks breaks down over Klint look a little awkward, if he’s doing that at the prosecutor’s bench while Kazuma’s just standing there next to him. Maybe he moves to the witness stand at some point to testify about details relating to his brother, since this is a special trial and he’s not technically prosecuting anybody? I dunno.)

The end

-      Kazuma still has to be reprimanded for his error in overlooking the missing bullet in van Zieks’s trial, but van Zieks, as his superior, takes responsibility for deciding that punishment. He chooses something suitably laborious and unpleasant such as, I don’t know, having to clean out his office’s bat nook every week, perhaps. Something that registers as a punishment to appease anyone who might argue that Kazuma is getting off too easy, and yet that doesn’t have any effect whatsoever on Kazuma’s standing and progress as an apprentice prosecutor.

-      After all, van Zieks knows that Kazuma has learned from his mistake already. And he himself is guilty of making a similar kind of grave oversight in his own very first case due to being blinded by a desire for revenge, so it’d be hypocritical of him to think less of Kazuma’s prosecutorial skills because of something like this.

-      During the scene at Dover, Kazuma still asks Ryunosuke to hold onto Karuma for him. Instead of confessing to his murderous intent (because he already did that in prison), Kazuma admits that the thing that snapped him out of it was being reminded of Ryunosuke. Ryunosuke saved him three times over – from killing Gregson, from wrongly convicting van Zieks, and in his trial. He’ll never be able to thank his friend enough.

-      Kazuma says he’s been thinking a lot about how to move forward and, thanks to this, has come to the realisation that what he needs most is to not be alone, and to have people he can trust by his side. Since Ryunosuke’s leaving, he mentions that he’s thinking of asking if he can stay with Sholmes and Iris, if they’d have him.

-      Ryunosuke hears this and immediately goes all, “Well, why don’t we ask them right now?” He cheerfully switches to English to call over to them, asking if Kazuma can stay with them. Kazuma is awkward and flustered and was not ready to have this conversation just yet (he is good at putting off Difficult Conversations) but can’t exactly complain either because he did just say he wanted this. Sholmes and Iris of course are thrilled to welcome him to Baker Street and get to know him better. It was going to be so quiet and lonely in the flat with Runo and Susie gone, but not if Kazzy comes to stay instead! Kazuma is faintly bewildered and more than a little moved by this.

-      And most importantly, Ryunosuke and Kazuma hug again as they’re saying goodbye, because I SAY SO and they SHOULD HAVE DONE in canon. I don’t care how difficult hugs are to animate, this is IMPORTANT. They still do the sword-crossing thing too, of course, that was also good, but HUGS. They are FRIENDS.