#also agree that his presence and the difference between it when on or off stage is very interesting

[disneyprincemuke]

woke up, blamed it on the vodka

max stares at the ceiling of his room, eyes narrowed into a squint as he vaguely tries to remember what had happened the night before. he refuses to move from his position — the different types of alcohol he had willingly consumed catching up to him with a nasty hangover to go with the god forsaken nausea.

then his body freezes. his heart skips a beat in his chest and he jolts to a state of woke that he wasn’t in until now.

oh, god.

someone needs to sedate him. he can remember it — the one thing he had said to you as you escorted him into his bed with his arm over your shoulder. you had pulled the blankets over his body and gave him a gentle pat on his arm.

he can remember before he closed his eyes, muttering that he loves you, and goodnight. he fell asleep the minute he closed his eyes so he doesn’t even know if you had said anything back.

he’s royally fucked up this time, for sure.

suddenly it feels like every bit of hangover has dissipated from his body. he shoots up from his position on the bed and pats around his duvet from his phone. he has to see what you said to him; if you’ve even addressed his words.

hopefully, you were just as intoxicated as he was when he blurted it out. surely you don’t remember it right?

he’s only been seeing you for about 5 weeks since lando had introduced you to him. he jumped the gun and asked you out on a date. you’ve hung out several times, seemingly in that phase of the talking stage where you simply can’t get enough of one another.

while he knows how intensely he feels for you, even he’s not quite sure that it’s love just yet. he’s smitten, yes, he admires you, yes — but that is hardly considered love at this point.

nothing from you yet. is it that you’re still deep in your hungover state or are you ghosting him from the events of last night’s party? he has never really the type of be able to read between the lines between what girls say, which has led to many several failed talking stages.

which is also why he’s completely tried to avoid dating for a while. but you made him want to dabble in the cruel games of push and pull, made him giddy with smiles after good pickup lines and hoping — badly wishing — that he doesn’t mess this one up.

yet here he is.

max should have spent the rest of his afternoon nursing his hangover. he doesn’t, though. he can’t stop thinking of you and what you’ll say to him eventually when you come over to stay the night.

he’s only ever said ‘i love you’ to one other person he’s dated. it didn’t end well, which would explain the anxiety over your inevitable presence later in the day. he can only list out your possible reactions to him.

will you call it quits the moment you come over? perhaps you’re too generous — you’ll distance yourself over time until he’s got the time to process your separation? will you even show up today?

he rolls out of bed when the doorbell rings and his heart dropping to his stomach when he looks at the time. he wraps his duvet over his shoulders, grumbling as he dragged his feet along the floor to open the door for you.

he opens the door, revealing you with a smile on your face. you’ve got your overnight bag over your shoulder and a plastic bag in your hands.

“hi!” you beam, leaning in to press a kiss on his cheek. you pull him in for a quick hug, which he reciprocates hesitantly as he wraps one arm around you.

you immediately sense the lack of energy, prompting you to pull away with an eyebrow raised as you stand out in the hallway. “is everything okay?”

he barely gets a word out before you’re speaking again. a gasp escapes your lips as you wave him off nonchalantly. “oh, how rude! of course, you must be having the worst hangover. i made you chicken soup.”

“thank you.” he watches in confusion as you walk into his apartment, as you usually would when you agree to spend the night.

he closes the door slowly and walks over to you. the apartment is silent as he watches you walk in and out of the kitchen to prepare him some food.

“um, have you got anything to say?” max asks softly as you step out of a kitchen with two glasses of water in hand.

you look at him, confused, as you walk to the table. “what do you mean?”

max presses his lips together. was he hallucinating when he said it? genuinely, he really thought he was dying after getting egged to drink more than he wanted to. he can vaguely remember the way he was barely able to stand in the elevator without leaning on you for support.

he remembers being in fits of giggles as he watched the numbers on the display change faster than he remembers it going.

“last night,” max stares at you blankly, tightening the duvet around his shoulders.

you have a small grin on your face as you look at him. he looks very cozy wrapped in the duvet, the fabric sitting on his head as he sways slowly side to side.

“what about last night?”

“i,” he trails off, looking at you with an eyebrow raised. “i told you i loved you… did i imagine that happening?”

you drop your head, your body shaking with a small grin. “oh, that.”

he furrows his eyebrows. “yeah, *that*. well, you see… i was so drunk from the vodka cranberry i drank like juice.” he watches your face contort into something indescribable: pursed lips and a raised eyebrow. “not that i don’t like you — i *do*, trust me — and i royally fucked up blurting that out. i do like you, i swear! but, god.”

“max.”

he looks at you with parted lips and raised eyebrows. “yes?”

“i knew you were drunk out of your wits last night.” you put the cups down on the table before you walk over to him. “realistically, i barely remember hearing you say it as well.”

actually, you lied. you do remember hearing max say it. as clear as the day. you stayed up all night thinking of it and hearing his voice echo in the back of your mind. you were hoping and praying that he wouldn’t bring it up at all.

while you really liked max, it’s simply too early to tell with things like these. you were afraid that he would remember and that he would double down and say that he means it.

you’re way more glad that he took it back rather than him saying he means it. you’re simply not ready and neither are you sure of your own feelings.

“oh,” max sighs exasperatedly, dropping his head with a soft laugh. he looks up when you hold the duvet and wrap it around his body slightly tighter. “so we’re okay?”

you nod. “we’re okay. now, join me for some chicken soup?”

@cashtons-wife @darleneslane @happy-nico @nikfigueiredo @namgification

[viperwhispered]

I don't know about you, but I find shared baths deeply intimate. Mostly cause first you have to be very comfortable with the person you're bathing with and there's an intense feeling of safety that you boundaries will be respected.

Apply this to Jamil who is arguably the most paranoid man in all of TWST. Imagine he and his s/o are getting serious and Jamil is finally starting to really open up. It's also the stage where things are getting steamier, so to speak.

As both a sign of trust and a way to get used to each others naked bodies, the couple starts bathing together. The physical vulnerability of it since their both nude is further amplified since they have to wash/touch each other. That in itself requires a lot of trust.

Just imagine this: gently applying shampoo into Jamil's silky hair while he rants about his day, slowly revealing more about his past and insecurities. Then they switch and now the reader is the one opening up about their struggles while Jamil massages the soap onto their back. Kissing any scars they might have, talking about the most random things, playing with the water, and just enjoying this moment between Jamil and his beloved. Jamil is just so busy that he relishes being able to just enjoy their presence close to him.

There's also a strong desexualizing element. Jamil and the reader likely grew up with a notion that nudity is embarrassing and should only happen with a sexual partner. While this statement is technically true, they aren't in a sexual situation. They're trusting each other to respect their boundaries in such a way that the way they view each other goes from "potential sex object" to "a body that so happens to belong to my dearest".

Which further adds to my hot take of the "If evil why hot" route with OB!Jamil being pre-relationship.

Also, fun concept: washing away blot.

Imagine they're at the very end of the overblot Jamil boss fight. The phantom is defeated but there's still some blot left. So the reader pushes him into the river created by Kalim and holds him there as the water washes away the blot. When he starts calming down, they gently start rubing the blot off. Slowly trekking their fingers through his hair as the snakes dissappear. By the end they're left with an exhausted sulky wet Jamil. The reader then kisses his forehead as they wrap a towel around him.

Aww there definitely is a lot of potential for sweetness with stuff like this. I mean, having someone wash your hair, cleaning up together… It really can feel so intimate and vulnerable.

Now, I feel like I should add the caveat that I'm Finnish, so I'm fairly used to seeing other people's bodies in the sauna, for example, and the whole concept of nudity = sex is not quite so strong for me, personally. (Though personally I'm not likely to go to a mixed sauna, especially with strangers, but still.) So my perspective for the nudity aspect may be a little bit different, though I do definitely agree with these scenarios being intimate and potentially vulnerable. Like, you really do need to let your guard down to let someone see you bared like that, no hiding behind your clothes (or status) or anything else. Just, people, together.

Which definitely ties into that whole opening up for each other. We always tend to say that people are equal in the sauna, and it (perhaps surprisingly) is a good place for those deep, intimate conversations. So I can definitely see that same vibe for this bathing together, too.

Also just, the thought of squeezing into the tub together, trying to figure out how to adjust everyone's limbs and bodies so that you're both comfortable in there (and covered by water enough to actually get to enjoy it). One of you wrapping your arms around the other, holding them close, it's just… So sweet, and intimate, and also you kind of have to be “normal” about it to make it work (I don't really have the words for these vibes, just, yes it's intimate and vulnerable but at the same time you kinda just have to treat it as a normal thing if it's gonna work).

Just eugh I love this concept so much.

(Also now I'm definitely wondering how the twst guys would feel about sauna, perhaps even with the whole “run off naked to the lake to cool off a bit and then go enjoy some more heat” extra shebang.)

Oof that washing off blot, though… Oh it's going straight for my heart 😭 Just the whole I'm still here for you, I'm here taking care of you, let's wash away what happened (both literally and figuratively). Oh boy what a concept ripe for being picked apart.

(Also for some reason it's making me think of like washing off bodies for funerals, but in this particular case more in the sense of washing off the old self / what happened, something to allow rebirth or something. Or like, this could've destroyed him, but didn't. Idk, there's just so much one could do with this. Maybe it's just the talk of being washed in a river specifically that's making me think of like Lemminkäinen’s mother and all sorts of stuff.)

[captainremmington-13]

A Lady Made of Snow

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own The Hunger Games franchise, the images above, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, or any of the characters in this fic other than Bellova.

SUMMARY: Bellova begins to notice how dedicated Coriolanus is to helping his tribute, which greatly displeases her. But her anger at the young Snow is temporarily forgotten about when one of her classmates dies in her arms. (i’m using a combination of the movie and book version of the events that occur in this chapter)

Warnings: spoilers for TBOSAS, death, mentions of violent urges, mentions of blood, crying, one swear word

Bellova sighed inwardly, drawing a rose with a fountain pen on her notebook where she was supposed to be writing down Dean Highbottom’s words. The lecture was pointless in her opinion. She knew everything the dean was talking about by heart, and she was alive when the events being discussed were occurring. 

She would never admit it to him, but she wished Coriolanus hadn’t skipped class to accompany his tribute. It was unusual for him, the star student, to miss a lecture, even one of Highbottom’s. The competition between them made the dean’s nonsensical ramblings almost bearable.

Then, as if on cue, a breathless and sweaty Coriolanus burst into the lecture hall. All eyes turned to him, shocked at his disheveled appearance.

“Your little excursion was in violation of about five different Academy rules, Mr. Snow. Chief amongst them, endangering a Capitol student,” Dean Highbottom said, not looking up from his papers. 

“What?” Coriolanus said, baffled. “Who?”

“You.” Highbottom’s response made Bellova roll her eyes. He was constantly looking for reasons to target the young Snow. “I’m moving for the Gamemakers to disqualify you as mentor immediately.”

“You said we had to get our tributes to perform, not that we had to stay away,” Coriolanus argued, standing at his seat next to Bellova but not sitting down.

“I’ll add insubordination as well,” the dean said smugly.

“Holding her hand, Coryo? Introducing her to people?” Arachne said, clearly disgusted. “You make it look as if we’re one and the same as those animals.”

Bellova couldn’t help but agree silently with her. She hated that Coriolanus had done so much to promote Lucy Gray, even going so far as to touch her. Had he forgotten that he was of the purest Capitol blood, only fit to associate with those who also held that status?

“Coriolanus didn’t show those people anything they didn’t already know.”

Bellova had to grip her textbook to refrain from throwing something at the young Plinth. He was being foolish, saying such things in the presence of the dean and the other mentors.

“I don’t need your help, Sejanus,” Coriolanus snapped.

“That the tributes are human beings. Just like us,” Sejanus continued. “That’s why nobody wants to watch the Games. It’s because people know deep down that winning a war ten years ago doesn’t justify starving people’s children, taking away their freedoms, their rights.”

“Shut up, Sejanus, please,” Bellova murmured through gritted teeth.

Suddenly, Dr. Gaul appeared, startling many of the mentors. Bellova looked at her, setting down her fountain pen.

“Snow fell down in the cage,” she began, smiling crookedly. “It fell down in the cage but it landed…”

“On stage,” Coriolanus finished.

The doctor grinned with delight. “You’re good at games. Maybe one day, you’ll be a Gamemaker like me.”

“If the Games continue at all,” Highbottom added.

“Oh, they’ll continue. With performances like young Mr. Snow’s in that zoo. And I came here to ask your star mentor a question: what are The Hunger Games for?”

This sparked an argument between Dr. Gaul, Highbottom, Coriolanus, and Sejanus. Bellova listened, intrigued. This was the most interesting thing that had happened during one of Highbottom’s lectures since the time Persephone and Arachne almost ripped each other’s heads off over a petty dispute. 

Coriolanus then proposed an idea, about making the games more “personal” for Capitol citizens. 

“We need them to invest,” he said. “And if we bend a few Capitol laws, we could even have them place bets. Look, I know Lucy Gray may not win in the arena. But if you give her a chance, I would bet the Plinth Prize that she can win people’s attention.”

Dr. Gaul looked at him. “I’d like you to write up a proposal of these thoughts tonight, Mr. Snow.”

“Wait,” Clemensia Dovecote spoke up. “You mean you might actually use his ideas?”

“If it’ll help the ratings, why not?” Dr. Gaul responded.

“Coriolanus and I are class partners, Dr. Gaul,” Clemensia said hastily. “We do all of our assignments together.”

‘Someone’s desperate for approval,’ Bellova thought, giving Clemensia a brief look of annoyance.

Dr. Gaul laughed, sending a visible chill through many of the mentors. “It’ll be an interesting test.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the lecture ended, the mentors went straight to the cafeteria. They were buzzing with excitement at the idea that Dr. Gaul may listen to their suggestions. Having an idea approved by her could do wonders for their future careers.

Bellova stood in line holding a tray, eyeing the mint chocolate fudge in the dessert section. She loved mint. It reminded her of wintertime, her favorite season.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Coriolanus tapping her on the shoulder. 

“What do you want?” she asked.

Coriolanus scoffed. “Your perfect manners never cease to amaze me.”

Bellova sneered. “Funny. Now get to the point.”

“I’m going to sneak some food out of here and give it to Lucy Gray at the Zoo. I was wondering if you’d like to come with me. You haven’t met your tribute yet, after all.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, putting a few slices of bread on her plate. “Breaking the rules again? After Highbottom just threatened to write you up for insubordination?”

“You were the one who told me to do anything it takes to succeed.”

“Fair enough,” she sighed. “Fine, I’ll come with you. I’ll give my tribute some bread while we’re there.”

Coriolanus smirked. “Who’s breaking rules now?”

Bellova gave him a look. “I’ll see you at the Zoo, Coryo.” With that, she grabbed a stack of mint chocolate fudge slices and walked off to join her friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that afternoon, Coriolanus, Bellova, and a handful of the other mentors met up at the Capitol Zoo. They immediately made their way to the monkey exhibit, where the tributes were being held. Nodding at the Peacekeepers surrounding the area, they stood inches away from the bars keeping them separated from the district children.

Bellova scanned the exhibit and eventually spotted her tribute in the corner. “Velvereen!” she called. The girl made her way over to the bars, looking at Bellova warily.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“I’m your mentor, Bellova. Here, I brought some bread for you.” She held out the napkin to Velvereen, who took it instantly. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to visit earlier. I have a busy schedule.”

Velvereen said nothing, focusing on wolfing down the bread. 

“So,” Bellova continued. “Have you talked to any of the other tributes?”

“Not besides Facet,” she said, pointing to the male District 1 tribute. “Oh, and the singer girl. The one with the strange dress.”

Bellova glanced over at Lucy Gray, who was talking very intimately with Coriolanus. She fought back a look of irritation. Lucy Gray was certainly a spectacle, but she was clearly deranged. She couldn’t understand why Coriolanus was so fascinated with her, other than her extremely strange behavior. 

“I see,” Bellova said. “Well, I promise to visit more often if I can. My advice to you is to make allies. The more that you have, the better your chance of survival is.” 

Velvereen nods. “I know. That’s what my father told me.” 

Bellova gave her a small smile. “It’s good to know that you have a basic understanding of strategy.”

She looked to her left, and saw Arachne taunting her tribute with a glass bottle. “Arachne!“ she hissed. “What the hell are you doing?“

“Shut up, Bellova!” Arachne snapped. “Mind your own business.”

“Fine!” Bellova snapped back. She and Velvereen continued discussing the Games. She was thankful that her tribute was willing to converse, unlike several, who refused to interact with their mentors. But as much as she tried to focus on her tribute, she felt her eyes wander to Coriolanus and Lucy Gray, who seemed to be enjoying each other’s company. It seemed as if her odd charms were beginning to rub off on the young Snow as well. If she hadn’t been surrounded by so many Capitol citizens, she would’ve been tempted to grab Lucy Gray by the hair and slam her head against the metal bars of the enclosure. 

Her violent fantasy was abruptly halted by a chorus of screams. 

Brandy, Arachne’s tribute, had grabbed her mentor by the neck and snatched the bottle from her. “Help!” Arachne shrieked, trying desperately to escape her grasp. Before anyone could do anything, Brandy smashed the bottle against the metal bars of the cage, and used the serrated edge to stab her in the neck. 

“No, no, no!” Coriolanus screamed, rushing towards Arachne, who lay on the ground, convulsing in pain as the crowd screamed frantically around them. He gathered the girl in his arms, putting his hand to her throat, trying to stop the blood flow. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Hold on. Hold on!”

Arachne gasped for air, blood oozing from her neck. Bellova crouched down at her side, turning her head to face her.  “Hey, look at me. Hey, hold on! It’s okay, you’re okay. I’ll get help, I promise.” 

“Somebody help us, please!” Coriolanus yelled at the crowd. 

Chaos erupted, making the whole scene a blur. Brandy was shot by Peacekeepers, falling to the ground with a thud. The other tributes were screaming wildly, ducking away to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. 

Coriolanus and Bellova were eventually dragged away from Arachne, who was lifted onto a stretcher. They were escorted by Peacekeepers out of the Zoo and back onto Academy grounds. Once inside a quiet hallway, they collapsed onto the ground side by side, finally able to process what had just happened.

Bellova, who almost never showed any emotion besides smugness, anger, or contempt in Coriolanus’s presence, began to cry. Her head swam with terror and disgust, the sight of Arachne’s slit throat burned into her mind. She was never close to the girl, she found her to be shallow and hated her whining. But they had grown up together. She was part of the Capitol’s finest, meaning they had attended several events together over the years and visited each other’s homes regularly. And now, she was gone. 

“I should’ve done more to stop her,” she said, voice trembling uncontrollably. “She was being stupid, and I just let her keep doing it! Her blood is on my fucking hands! It’s all my fault!”

“Don’t blame yourself,” Coriolanus spoke up. “Blame the district girl. She was the one who did it.” 

“I know, I know,” Bellova cried, black mascara running down her face, ruining her perfect face of makeup. “But she’s dead too. I can’t even avenge Arachne by killing her. There’s nothing I can do.”

Coriolanus, who had finally stopped shaking, pulled Bellova into his side gently. He put his arm around her, rubbing soothing circles on her shoulder. “You’re safe now. This won’t ever happen again, the Capitol will tighten security tenfold.”

Without thinking, Bellova leaned into Coriolanus’s grasp. He patiently let her cry into his shoulder, while he tried to help steady her breathing. The two young students clung to each other, forgetting all of their past grievances in that moment. 

When they finally pulled away, they looked at each other, as if they were stunned at their own actions. Neither of them were affectionate towards each other, or affectionate people in general. Yet here they were, sitting on the cold marble floor of the Academy, comforting each other. 

Bellova cleared her throat. “We should probably get out of here. Let the administrators know that we’re going home early.” 

Coriolanus nodded, standing up and holding out his hand to help her up. Bellova took it, smiling ever-so slightly. 

“Thank you,” she said quietly. 

“Of course,” Coriolanus replied. 

They informed the staff that they’d be departing early. Nobody tried to stop them, understanding that they’d just been through a traumatic event. They walked down the steps of the Academy’s main building, standing near the curb.

Finally, Bellova broke the silence. “Let me take you back to your apartment. My driver will be here any minute.” Before Coriolanus could protest, she said, “You’re in no condition to walk that far. I know you always say you walk to and from school to clear your mind, but just let me do this for you. Please?”

“Fine,” Coriolanus said reluctantly. 

As they sat in the back of Bellova’s chauffeur’s car, neither of them said a word to each other. The death of Arachne had clearly rattled them both to the core, but they couldn’t bring themselves to talk about it. It still all felt like a nightmare. 

Bellova took a small compact and handkerchief out of her bag, using the cloth to wipe away the black stains her tears had left behind. She pressed some foundation over it, erasing any evidence of a breakdown. 

Coriolanus watched her, realizing that he’d likely never see her this vulnerable again. He was still surprised that she didn’t slap him for embracing her. They certainly had a unique relationship. Often times they were at each other’s throats, occasionally they exchanged words of advice and encouragement. But nevertheless, he didn’t want to see her so hurt. She was…a friend? A companion? Something other than a stranger, for sure. 

They pulled up outside of Coriolanus’s apartment complex, and Bellova’s driver opened the door for him. 

Coriolanus turned to Bellova, who was staring down at her hands. “Thank you for the ride. I appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it,” Bellova said, looking up to give him a small smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Coryo.”

“See you tomorrow, Bellova.”

And with one last nod, Coriolanus shut the door behind him, returning to his run-down apartment where Tigris and Grandma’am were waiting.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

TAGLIST: @daenerysqueenofhearts, @squidscottjeans, @euphemiaamillais, @gracieroxzy

Author’s Note: This chapter was a lot longer than the last one lolll I really liked writing this part because things become a lot more intense. Let me know in the comments what you think and if you’d like to be tagged!

[yxnswife]

#I'm already writing the ghost hunting fic

Ok thank god bc I was about to ask you more about this AU 😂

The ghost fic is actually a different fic (it's more like Ghost Adventures, Ghost Files, etc.)!! But I'm feeling silly so I'll talk more about this au anyway 🫶

• Johnny was born into a family of vampire hunters. Not every family/group of hunters has a focus on one specific monster, but Johnny’s does. It's a personal vendetta.

• Bouncing off of the last one I think that Nitara would be a huge blow to everything that Johnny knew growing up about vampires. She's not nice per se, but she isn't the mindless and violent being that he had been taught to kill.

• Kenshi wasn't born into hunting like Johnny, but he was always aware of it. A group of rogue hunters protected his family hundreds of years ago and their descendants continue to do so, but in exchange ask for money, weapons, housing, etc.

• The Lin Kuei boys in this one are also hunters, and I like to think that Tomas was picked up after a monster killed his family. He was taken in after it was killed. The Lin Kuei are still the Lin Kuei, but they also hunt monsters

• Johnny and Kenshi met, surprisingly, not on a hunt. By chance, they ended up in the same antique store in the middle of nowhere. They bonded over some old items, and Johnny happened to mention Sento, an ancient sword said to be able to slay any monster. Immediately Kenshi is interested because that's his family sword and "What the hell does this guy know about it?"

• Continuing from the last one, they teamed up to fight some werewolf that had made its presence known. Either Johnny or Kenshi get injured (unused to hunting with a partner) and suddenly Johnny suggests that they start working together more often. Kenshi says no, but then Johnny says that he'd help him track down Sento. Kenshi agrees.

• Johnny still goes by Cage in this AU, but it's less of a stage name and more for protection than anything. His mother was a badass vampire hunter and people knew her name, so it was all around easier to come up with a new one.

• Kenshi is the most efficient at killing monsters, but will use the same weapon until it breaks if Johnny lets him. For this reason, Johnny has a whole arsenal to split between them.

• Johnny is in charge of handling witnesses and gathering info/researching when he isn't fighting. Kenshi is in charge of finding places to sleep and contacting other hunters.

• Mileena in this AU is a monster, but she was cursed to be one rather than born. She travels with Tanya, Baraka, and Syzoth. Ashrah comes and goes, but she hunts demons and has her own personal mission.

• Sindel has a coven that she's the Supreme Witch of, and Kitana stays with her to learn magic.

• After a hunt, there's always a debrief. It's like an unspoken rule between all hunters. No matter who you're with, or what your relationship is, you take care of your own. Johnny is the one to push for this the most when they're all together, and is typically the first one up and gathering medical supplies.

• Kung Lao and Raiden are married, and have been training to be hunters since they were young. They focus on spirit extermination and demons, but Kung Lao has an affinity for shapeshifters. He likes the challenge. Raiden still has his amulet, and it was given to him by Liu Kang.

• Liu Kang is the same in this universe. He's just also kind of the network control center and hunters come to him for advice or guidance. He only hunts if the threat is big enough, but he's more than happy to help.

[wolfnesta]

I just felt like putting some of my pent up feelings into words in the most simple way I could think of on Cassian and his character because I’ve been having such a hard time staying anchored and sometimes putting it down to words helps. It’s long so, under the cut.

I feel like it is worth to start off by mentioning that blatant plot armor is a peeve of mine but I’m aware that acotar is also a series that caters to some high strung romance aspects of fantasy that would otherwise be a huge red flag in real life, example, being super aggressive and protecting of their mates, the frenzy, etc. Basically what I’m trying to explain is that while I hate some aspects in acotar (like the plot armor) I’m willing to accept others parts some might find unsavory (like the red flags behind matehood) but by all means I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind or opinion of those things rather just stating how I chose to go forth reading the series.

With this in mind I want to point out the highlight of Cassian’s relationship with Nesta at it's initial stages.

In WaE he’s basically horny for Nesta the entire time which as I said I’m okay with overlooking, even find enjoyable, because of the whole matehood concept, but what intrigued me the most was Nesta’s reaction where she feels threatened that he can ‘see’ her—

‘then it had all stopped, the eye of a storm with them in it, and there she was.

And in those blue-gray eyes, he could see the thoughts swirling in her as if they were smoke under glass.’

And everything going forward since— when Nesta shows vulnerability to the queens in her passionate bid to save the humans he seems to react to her in a way that suggest he understands her passion and promises her his protection. In front of everyone. He explains how he fought in those lands and declares he’ll do it again. For her and the humans she’s desperately trying to save. Doesn’t try to pull her into a hug or remove her from the situation he simply wipes her tear because he seems to understand her. When she agrees to scry and he offers his solid presence silently, he knows she’d never ask it of anyone, he walks up to her half wounded and places one hand on her back. That touch is enough. How he knew she would need to see her father sailing through the water, the boat at the helm having her name on it and wordlessly grabs her and lifts her so she can witness all this.

I felt like he had this understanding of Nesta that no one has likely offered to her before because of her fickle nature. I lived for the idea that no matter how unreasonable she might be, that he would allow her to be as crazy and raging as she needed to be, without being terrible to her as his brother and Mor are because it would seem he saw her. I thought it was a neat character trait to be often misconceived as the brute, all brawn’s no brain kind of guy, when these actions with Nesta portray his emotional intelligence, even with Feyre when she’s punching and punching him and he knows to let her. That he would not think of walking away or leaving.

Just for the sake of not wasting my time or others I want to mention there is a difference between allowing your S.O. to step all over you vs being supportive and understanding. Cassian and Nesta are not together at this point. They are in that will they, will they not, stage very entertaining for the reader with Nesta being the one of the two that is undergoing recovering from trauma he himself admits to have lived and healed from. So I don’t find it to be some turn off for Nesta to be snarky and rude to him for the same reasons I can forgive the whole hornyness from Cassian. I’m not going to be swayed into thinking Nesta calling him names Amren has been calling him for centuries (*cough* like dog *cough*) is enough to give Cassian any superiority over Nesta (which the story tries to imply hence the plot armor I mentioned) which is one of the many things that sort of sent the canon ship asunder for me. Which leads me to vent more on some of the rest below.

Acofas/acosf was a mixture of what could have been but just sort of trailed in bloody ribbons from the butchering of the dynamic as a whole. In the way that he was suppose to be her silent supporter as he had been up until the awful gift giving scene. It was suppose to be in the way he could’ve defended her and took up for her, yes even when he knows she's wrong. Because this is the Nessian dynamic we were set up for. I’m not arguing about wether the moral compass of the reader thinks it’s the right thing to do or not. It’s because his character had already shown traits to fulfill these unmet needs in Nesta. So much so that she felt unnerved, as most people that have never met anyone feel the want or desire to understand them because of the thick walls behind an icy bitch face have—

Perhaps that was what unnerved her, made her want to slice at him. The utter sincerity. That he honored his promises, and did not make them lightly.

But oh the butchering when the emotional intelligence he had shown since is just radically wiped off the table when he insinuates she’s not trying enough and should maybe leave then, can’t understand why her sisters love her. It’s like being thrown a bucket of ice water. Like it’s jarring— whoa wait I thought he could see through her? How can his confession— ‘ I will find you in the next life and we will have that time’ suddenly be wiped off the map when he has shown emotional intelligence towards her knowing much less. At this point in the story she is not his anything to feel any sort of entitlement of her affection either. It’s just awful all around.

It’s almost as if sjm ( because at the end of the day me being anti cassian is me being critical of how sjm chose to go forth writing him) had this rough draft idea where Cassian could handle anything Nesta threw at him but it would be oh so sexy of him to throw some back. But instead it manifested into Cassian just kicking a down person all the while losing his most cherished quality, his emotional intelligence.

It’s so difficult to watch how this carcass is dragged further in hofas. As I mentioned this is my opinion of the Nessian dynamic we had been set up for pre acofas/acosf not if you agree with me on how it should be. I had thought Cassian’s strength and intelligence would give him the opportunity to be someone that was able to withstand Nesta’s ice and fire, that he would be strong enough to not call her out about being wrong in front of other people but rather weather telling her in private. Because in public he's on her side and makes sure everyone knows it but he is not also losing his own opinions and voice, on the contrary, he explains and talks to her not to everyone else in the room. That hofas chapter gave no indication of either thing happening. Even going back to beginning with the whole matehood concept being a red flag he doesn’t show any of those ‘protective’ instincts whatsoever. Sjm critical or whatever, I guess. It’s tiresome to keep seeing it’s partly because she keeps on picking and choosing when certain concepts apply if they don’t or do serve her purpose instead of like idk consistency. She chose to keep him in this torn position of bro’s before ho’s middle school ass concept because Rhysand is his brother or whatever not the more adult idea of being husband and wife/ mates and Nesta having honest reasons, him addressing the dangerous aspects of her choice with her only all the while not allowing his bro to step all over his mate in front of him.

To conclude, Nessian to me was about Cassian being strong yet patient, firm yet supportive, to someone like Nesta. For Nesta it's about having someone being beside her when everyone else is against her, about seeing her amazing heart even when she herself does not. For him to use these traits unique to him and be able to pick her up when she can't stand. To love ALL of her. Any attempt to keep this dynamic up in acosf doesn’t even serve the purpose to show me this but rather it just seems like a way for sjm to remind the reader Cassian is the one trying oh so hard to help Nesta and Nesta is the big evil who has/is being mean to this poor male. It’s the plot armor I mention instead of a harmony of character dynamics coming together to make a wonderful relationship. The hike scene is an example of sjm poorly trying to portray this when he tells her there’s nothing broken to be fixed but only after having witnessed Nesta being okay with dying from falling off a cliff and literally croaking over from dehydration not to mention how at this point his and the rest of the IC’s intervention has so many problematic points that have changed Nesta’s character to suit the weird idea sjm has of wish fulfillment for feysand on Nesta’s ‘punishments’. It’s just a bloody trail of ribbons all of it.

Well atleast there’s enough substance left for me to play with but also at the same time it’s enough for me to mourn the loss which can get tiresome at times. But it is what it is and I choose to carry on 😊

[levy120]

Tit for Tat

[PART 1: Foreign]

[PART 2: Advertisement]

[PART 3: Blood Money]

Rating: M

Words: 2850

Genre: Introspection, Character Deconstruction/Analysis, Speculation, AU, Whump

Lore: Rayman 2, Captain Laserhawk speculation

Characters: Rayman, the manager, the boss, the clan shows up again

Summary: Baby's first murder

Warnings: Major Character Death, Blood & Gore, Murder

AN: Welcome to the M rating folks! Just gonna embrace everyone's Bobbypill-gore-fears a little with this one :') See also on: [dA] | now also on [ao3] ❗❗❗

See also: [Part 1] | [Part 2] | [Part 3] | [You are here] | [Part 5]

More like this: [Rayman Oneshots Masterpost]

After Rayman's emotional breakdown on live TV, Chief brings him a package the next day.

He lies on his bed, bags under his eyes when she dumps the box right on his midsection, eliciting a grunt.

"I got something for you, to cheer you up," she says.

The lesson, she agrees, had to be learned. But Rayman looks a mess. Makeup can cover his poor constitution but that won't help them if his voice keeps cracking and his acting fails him.

"What's that?" he asks as he sits up.

"Fanmail," Chief says, "Your unprofessional stunt yesterday was - for some reason - received well by the public."

Rayman starts sifting through the box. It's indeed letters. A lot of condolences for 'his' loss, partly to blame on how openly Chief had communicated his involvement with the shelter to the public.

He sifts through the box with shaking hands, card after card. There are long letters and rough drawings from children. 'Thank You's from facilities he's been supporting and photos of teams showing off what his donated money went into.

She watches his breath even out and his posture become a little less tense.

It's… a mystery to the manager how even when Rayman fucks up he winds up endearing to the crowd. He's established himself as the face of the people in what little time he's been here. Mistakes are 'charming' or 'make him human' despite him very clearly being anything BUT. Maybe some folks just consider him the same way they'd look upon a puppy and figure he's some sort of mascot. 

Whatever the case, he's weaseled himself into the hearts of Eden's citizens to a point that makes him a liability even more so than his ignorant volatility had made him before. 

He’s prolific in a way that would spark outcry if he were to disappear suddenly. Eden’s advantage has turned into a risk. 

She used to be the boss's assistant, now relegated to being this creature's personal babysitter.

But that's fair, she supposes. His impact on Eden’s image has been massive. Playing the job of his supervisor might as well be the most important task in this company right now. 

The faintest of smiles has returned on Rayman's face and he wipes his eyes with the heel of his hands before - completely unbidden - he moves in to hug the Chief.

It startles her.

She’s not getting paid enough to put up with all of his crap, but - she supposes - at least when it comes to the Limbless himself, it’s not as thankless a task as it could be. 

---

Rayman agrees to doing the second show, and while he's reluctant to talk to him again, Chief says the boss is gracious enough to grant him that second chance.

It's… easier he thinks. The format is supposed to be more lighthearted than the news, and Rayman figures that might make it just what he needs.

So he's hopeful.

Until the night of the premier. That has him nervous. And scared. And frantic. And everything in between. Why did he agree to this?

There’s a live audience waiting outside, which is so strikingly different from just reporting the news. His heart flutters from stage fright. 

Chief stands next to him with her arms crossed. Her stoic presence is a crutch. 

“You look nervous,” she observes.

“That’s because I am,” Rayman replies and chuckles in a way that almost sounds like a sob. 

"You'll do great," Chief comments like it doesn't matter, "Those people out there, they're here for you."

Rayman takes another glimpse from behind the curtain.

"Isn't that the part where you tell me to act natural?"

"You?! Hell no!"

Rayman makes a sound of acknowledgment somewhere between amusement and disappointment.

"That's the part where I tell you to put on a smile. Unless you insist on sabotaging yourself, you couldn't possibly mess this up."

She hunkers down to adjust his bowtie.

"Now get out there, and make me proud."

---

"See?" the manager says. Rayman thinks it's the first time he sees her smile, "I knew you could do it."

"Thanks, Ly."

"Who?" she asks and Rayman stiffens, suddenly realizing what he'd said.

"Oh, I…" he fumbles and backs off. He looks flustered. And a little bit sad. "Sorry. Just… you… sounded like an old friend, for a second there."

Shit. This is embarrassing. Rayman buries his face in his hands, but luckily Chief doesn't seem to mind.

"Were they a good friend?"

He collects himself. Sighs.

"Very," he replies, his entire posture sagging, "She was my mentor."

"I see," his manager replies with a sense of amusement and Rayman is so relieved she's not holding it against him.

“I guess what I meant to say is… Thank you for having my back." he tries again.

"Come on," she says and easily ruffles his hair just standing next to him. She can't stand it when he's moping and he sounds like he needs some cheery thoughts.

"I think we should celebrate this premiere with a drink."

"Yeah," Rayman agrees, "That sounds like an excellent idea. What would I ever do without your guidance?"

---

Chief has a gun to her head.

"We can talk about this," Rayman pleads with their assailant, "Let's be reasonable."

The guy had just come out of nowhere. Hijacked the car of their driver and kidnapped them into an abandoned parking facility. 

He’s rough and violent. Through it all, his manager is trying really hard to remain calm, but Rayman has seen calm on her. And anger. And right now he knows she's very much scared.

Rayman isn’t sure what’s up with the guy. Whether he’s a small fish with a small mind or if he has ulterior motives. Then he catches a glimpse of a tattoo he recognizes from the news on the dude’s neck. 

“What do you want?” 

Rayman tries to offer, his hands held up placatingly. 

Wasn’t the attack on the homeless shelter enough already?! 

“I could ask you the same thing!” the guy spits as he jostles the manager.

“Since your mug is on TV suddenly the Eden assholes look like the good guys, while poor people still starve!” 

“Is this about money again?” Rayman asks, confused, panicked. “You can have it, okay? Just let her go first.” 

“Money won't save you!” the guy yells and presses the gun against the manager’s temple. She flinches back with grit teeth. It makes her look so unusually small. 

Rayman’s hands go limp. 

“I’m here for you little Eden shits!" the man snarls.

"Did this bitch tell you the shelter raid was an inside job?"

“That’s not-”

“SHUT UP!” 

He angrily flails his gun at her. Rayman is slowly lowering his stance. He’s barely listening, too busy by now keeping his eyes on that twitching trigger finger. 

“You don’t ever wonder why there are people in need of your donations to begin with?! Have they brainwashed you this badly? I’ll tell you why! It’s because this entire system is broken!” 

He spits. Rayman has barely time to take a breath before the gun goes off. 

As Chief clatters to the ground Rayman’s world stands still. There’s evidently no helping her, she’s just… dead. Immediately. 

His posture goes lax as his breath leaves him.

“This mess can only be fixed from the ground up,” the voice echoes in the parking lot, but Rayman’s ears are still ringing from the gunshot. 

“You’re next.” 

When his weapon moves to take aim at Rayman his instincts kick in. The Limbless throws his fist at the firearm and breaks the attacker's hand. The gun clatters to the ground but the sound is drowned by a blood-curdling scream. 

Humans are just so incredibly fragile when Rayman's hands are used to breaking apart metal. For just having taken someone else's life with that silly weapon of his the dirty crook is nothing without it.

As the criminal clutches his wrist, screaming and crying - look at him, all tears and snot - Rayman approaches him.

His left hand is still squeezing down on the mess of bones, keeping the man pinned to the ground.

Rayman is small, likely a third of this guy’s statures, but he towers above the asshole by the time he's eye to eye with him. And the look on his face spells bloody murder.

A younger version of him would have stopped there. The threat was disarmed, had learned its lesson, could grow from that.

But that version is gone. He left it in the Glade. And without Chief, there's no one to hold him back.

A well-aimed punch makes sure that the bastard stays down. Rayman is upon him before he can get back on his feet.

Blood sprays and teeth go flying as Rayman beats the monster's face to a pulp.

The screaming stops, but his punches don't, even when splintered bones become crumbs of asphalt and his own knuckles break open.

When he does stop eventually, with a breathless sob and a wail, he glances down on a mess of flesh - a human body that no longer has a face to speak of.

And he feels nothing.

His thoughts are with Chief, who lies behind him, her scattered brains exposed on the asphalt. It's an image in his mind he can't bear.

But the bastard beneath him?

Rayman gets up and nudges the body with his foot. 

Didn't even put up a fight.

Rayman spits the taste of blood from his mouth. Fuck.

"Guess no one ever taught you, you need to be careful of who you choose to make an enemy of here."

---

HQ is spinning out of control when the manager's call arrives but it's Rayman speaking on the other end asking to be picked up.

Even so, his driver isn't prepared for what awaits him at the parking facility.

Rayman himself hunkers on the hood of their car, just drenched in blood, with two bodies lining the asphalt behind him.

"Finally," he says. His voice is alarmingly calm and timid. Something about it doesn't sit right with the cabby; it doesn’t fit with the rest of the picture. 

"Please, can we go home?"

"Yeah. Sure," the escort says as he unlocks the car. Rayman drudges past him. The wet squelching of his shoes haunts every step as he slinks into the car to ruin the interior with the stain of blood and stench of iron.

Slowly the driver makes out the details of the crime scene. The puddle of blood, the giant hole in the manager's skull… the… no-longer-a-skull of the other body. 

He stumbles to a nearby beam and starts throwing up.

---

"Shit. You did this?"

The boss is examining one of the victim's photos from the crime scene.

"Guess Razorbeard wasn't kidding when he said you had violent tendencies. Well, now…"

he folds the evidence into a neat stack before igniting a lighter and setting the polaroids ablaze.

"The public can't know about this," the boss orders as he gets up from his seat to bear down on Rayman. 

The Limbless is fresh out of the shower, his hair still dripping wet, but his nose is still clogged with the smell of iron. He hunches on his chair, fists tightly interlocked as he presses his forehead against them like it could make the memory vanish.

"I dispatched a team to remove the bodies and clean the site. I don't want you to mention this to anyone. Surely I don’t have to remind you what that would do to your image."

They seem oddly prepared, Rayman can’t help but think in the light of what the perpetrator had been spitting. Maybe the Limbless would have been more inclined to listen if the asshole hadn’t decided to choose murder first. 

"Did he spill anything about his motive before you broke his jaw?"

The mere memory of the boss flying off the handle at Rayman suggesting he'd bring to light just one of his dirty secrets makes the Limbless shake his head no.

He doesn't want to find out what the consequences would be if Boss were to learn of him knowing yet another of his misdeeds.

What would he target next? The food-bank? The hospital? Perish the thought he'd go for the childcare.

Rayman's foot is tapping relentlessly before his posture straightens and he dares to look the boss in the eyes. Here they are face to face finally - Rayman wishes the circumstances could have been different.  

Once upon a time, he’d toyed with the idea of giving the boss a good wallop in the face if they ever were to meet.

Right now, that very thought leaves a sour taste in his mouth. 

"What about Chief?" he asks.

"Of course, you'll be appointed a new assistant."

"Sir," Rayman tries to find his voice, "That's not-"

But Boss flicks his wrist to silence him, and Rayman goes quiet.

"You can make your own decisions for one day and NOT cause a mess, can't you?" 

Rayman's alert posture wilts until he hunkers. He’s not sure if what he’s feeling is regret. 

It's only for Chief that he feels bad.

Not for the bastard that killed her, he doesn’t. 

That one got what he deserved. 

…But it still doesn't bring back his friend.

If anything, Rayman thinks it's a shame that by hiding the evidence under a rug, the rest of the clan will just proceed as usual. They need to be sent a message. 

Damn, he just wants to be left alone. But he's very high profile. Boss has his name plastered all over town.

He knows today won't have been his last brush with extremists.

---

Rayman's perceived calm lasts up until he's led back to his room, when he's supposed to sleep and the hectic world around him slows down.

It's like all of the memories culminate and flood him like a torrent that threatens to take him under.

He lies in bed curled up and bawling, as the pain in his knuckles reaches a new boiling point.

---

Of course, it's on the news.

No one comes to pick him up the following day (obviously he can't expect Chief to suddenly show up at his door), so Rayman has no choice but to watch the news from his dorm. He's seen the guy standing in for him on set before.

They call it an 'attempt on his life' and say that the 'culprit has been apprehended' (that's cute) and that 'he'll be back as soon as possible'.

Not a single word about Chief.

It's funny - he thinks now - how he's never bothered to fact-check his own reports. It's all on the teleprompter. The only thing they need him to do is read.

But he doesn't want to acknowledge that the guy he killed might have been right.

Not when his solution to the problem was pointing a gun at Rayman when he'd already been trying so hard to offer help wherever he could. 

---

"Another job?" Rayman asks. He's so tired already. It's been nearly a month since the incident and Rayman is still trying to find his footing back with his old schedule. But here he's been pulled from prepping tonight's moderation to meet with the boss.

Truth be told though, he appreciates anything that keeps his mind from wandering. But this might be a bit excessive.

"One of our Nightclubs reports unruly customers. We thought maybe you'd be interested in a leading position?"

His face draws into a frown.

"Unruly customers, huh?"

"Violent Costumers. Drunkards who don't pay their tab. Brutes looking for a fight. Perverts who harass the female staff," The boss points at him with a dry laugh when he sees the angry frown increase steadily on Rayman's face.

"I thought that'd be up your alley!"

"Don't you have bouncers for that?" Rayman deadpans.

"That's not the point," the boss says and leans back in his seat.

"Your patronage would repel those folk, you know, make people feel safe. And possibly draw an all-new crowd."

Rayman hums to himself. How bold does he dare to be today?

"And you're offering - let me guess - more money."

The boss sighs to himself.

"I expected as much," he drawls. Rayman takes curious note of his calm demeanor. He's not disappointed. Or angry.

"No," the boss says, and Rayman raises an inquiring eyebrow, leans in a little so he can hear what the boss is going to say next.

"If you could pick any citizen from your home…" he says, and Rayman's heart begins to race.

"Just one!" the boss points out with a warning finger-

Rayman wants to fly from his seat and get up to that desk. 'Just one' means 'one for now'. If Rayman puts in even more work after-

"Yes!" he blurts before he can second-guess himself or the boss changes his mind.

"Very good."

A satisfied grin grows on the man's face as he reaches his hand out over the desk for a shake. The limbless fool doesn't even realize he's picking his own leverage.

"I'm expecting a choice by tomorrow."

[hologramcowboy]

//Jensen belongs to that kind of category of actor, as far as I'm concerned. Meaning that his onscreen charisma and flair have zero to do with his presence in real life and that his magnetism does not translate in person. It's definitely a case of the camera adding a new dimension to his overall look. That's just my opinion, of course, and I am strictly viewing him through an acting lens.//

Hello, It’s nice to see you more active on here again.

Agree what you were saying in the ask I took this quote from that Jensen has been able to portray some great emotional depth as Dean on SPN, but I would like to add my own thoughts on the above quote.

As to Jensen's "magnetism" not translating in person, I tend to disagree, though I think I see what you were saying. I've "met" Jensen in person at 4 different conventions, during autographs, photo ops and Meet & Greets. I get that he’s still working at those events so it isn’t a reflection of who he is on his own time, but even without the camera on him, he can be incredibly magnetic. But, I think the operative word there is CAN be. He does have a sort of extra sparkle to him at times, even in person, but he can also be incredibly closed off and icy. I’ve experienced both the massive charm and the chilly side, but the most common "side" of him I’ve encountered is a courteous guy, who cares enough about his job to give you a decent experience.

All that being said, I think, on stage at cons, Jensen does a lot of telling stories, or saying things, that he thinks the audience wants to hear … particularly when it comes to his personal life or his own feelings about things. I think he’s a bit more honest when he talks about his feelings on the show, maybe. But while I think he’s shared some real family stories, a good bit of the things he says about Danneel and the kids sound like they are made up or "borrowed" from someone else. They are cliches.

Anyway, I don’t have much else to add, just that Jensen can be very compelling in person, but it very much when he wants to be.

I think you said it so perfectly, the family stories he shares are clichés you can very easily find in badly written novels and tv shows. Sometimes I genuinely wonder if he watches a show, remembers the scene and then just shares it as his own because he knows audiences only want to hear a certain narrative and is afraid of their reaction to anything real. To see what Jensen is really like you'd have to meet him in a setting that does not involve professional exchanges. At conventions he puts on a a persona, be it icy or magnetic, it's still an act. He is doing his job. To catch real glimpses of him you'd have to meet him in the right setting, away from all the cameras, stage, fans and audience expectations. While it's true that Jensen knows how to use his sex appeal (a few examples are countless interviews where he consciously bites/licks his lips, flirts with his eyes, classic actor angles) and this can create charm in a way, it doesn't mean he is actually charming personality wise. Even in his "branding" he is always going for the "rugged" man vibe instead of leaning naturally into what nature gave him. In other words, there is a high contrast between what his image actually sells and what he actually embodies in the end. It's why it's so hard for anyone to describe his brand. He has none and whatever he is trying to do conflicts with his actual presence and look so that confuses people even more, especially casting directors. Yes, Jensen can be smooth, his looks make him the perfect candidate for charming roles, that is IF he were to brand himself that way. The choices he makes are far from charming and so that potential, along with key leading man roles, is lost when he goes for the "butch", "rugged", "sarcastic bordering on jerk" vibes which confuse casting. But he clearly is an actor who is only in it for the money so he'll just keep doing Dean. That is endlessly sad to me because I truly believe he could have had an iconic career. Instead he settles, much like with his marriage.

[away-ward]

In my understanding this tiktok video (https ://vt.tiktok.com/ZSLt7AAgE/) literally is how will grayson treat other women that's not emory scott, including his initial stages of escort-fuck buddy-friendship thing with alex, and his character as a man and his relationship turns me off so bad, that i rooted less for him each time he appeared on page as i lose my respect towards how he treats women in general. Like we knew Michael and Damon were shit, but they both ADMITTED to it, but Will was always labelled as "amazing" and all good things, but his character was like THAT? Nah. The same goes with alex when she used others to hurt aydin, idk i find men, women, MCs & FMCs like them so icky, so i especially hate reading about fictional characters with these traits. What i hate about alex was that she could've been like emmy where she would've beenjust jealous n her head, and not humiliate or touch her physically to put her down, but alex literally just proves the stereotype of fighting over a dumb guy with an innocent woman. I disliked that banks and rika fight in hideaway for the same reason too. I can understand where they came from, but i fucking hated it. I hate it even more when other female reader cheered them on for it. I hated the will/damon/aydin jealousy scenes with a passion too. In fact, I would usually avoid these scenes in romance books if i can, because authors spent so much time wasting their talents on scenes of characters being jealous for other LIs, than building ACTUAL happiness & chemistry between them. I couldn't avoid this trope for this book especially, because i was never warned that the trope "other men/women drama" with a touch of "treating non-Love Interest like shit" trope were so fucking bad in Nightfall, it just ruins everything about Will for me.

Personally though, i'm not a big fan of both alex and will, and even though i know you're not very fond of alex too, i think based on one of your older asks about willalex's relationship, you described your understanding of alex's place in will's life differently than i would have. I don't have any problems with differing opinions though. I feel like you saw and put a lot more importance of alex's presence in will's life more than i did, or even will did. It's interesting how we interpret characters, because while i can agree with some of your interpretations of them, i have a very opposite opinion with the others. I also always thought it was kinda sad that for someone who was "close" to will, alex was the one who always "seems" to care more about will, than the other way around. But it's not like her care matters so much, because it still doesn't change will for the better, he only just got less lonely, but was still very self-destructive. For me, even though i knew that alex was a friend and family to will, and is automatically important to him for that, i never saw any hint that she was THAT important to Will personally, even off-page, like how you described in that willalex friendship post. Idk, maybe it's just me.

Because just like damon who had an exception towards winter, will too had an exception towards emmy, where he used everything he can as long as they're not emmy. So his relationship with alex too wasnt always sincere or deep, they only bonded through shallow things which then after one or two years of casual friendship, made them mirrors of each other's pain (or so they thought, they're shallow people, i can't always take their observations seriously), so i cant see why people fawn or get mad over their relationship too much. The fact that will couldn't get any friends outside of the horsemen if they're not their friends' girls, escorts, people he can pay with money, or people of similar status with him, even with all his status and privilege, already tells a lot about his classist and shallow personility. I kinda understand though being friends with people of the same class, since it's easier to get along with people who gets you immidiately without feeling like you're being judge for it, but still. The more that i think about this side of him too, the lesser i like him.

Idk, and that's the thing, when i read nightfall, i couldn't enjoy willemmy's story, because willemmy was busy destroying themselves and each other, then continue to go back to being jealous of the other, while always letting others intervene their relationship. Even when they had time alone, they always had to involve some third parties in their relationship, which pisses me off so much. It's one thing when people kept on meddling in their relationship, but it's another thing for them to drag others in it, just because they were immature, couldnt handle their feelings like mature adults. Their problems had existed way before alex and aydin got between them. We get the gist already if emory was a stronger woman, so i'm not gonna talk about her, but will. Ah, will, that useless fuck of a character, a character who no one calls him out for his shit. Now, If Will Grayson was a stronger man, Alex Palmer will never be able to slap Emory Scott. The only reason why his friends can treat emmy like shit was because Will lead them by example, just like how the horsemen initially didnt respect rik because michael humiliate him by example. Weak men are truly a fucking disease. Will humiliated and set a standard to how emmy deserves to be treated first, in front of stranger, classmates, and friends, i can't always blame others to not intervene or when emmy had to fight alone, because will grayson, when it matters, never really stood up for emmy. Even in high school he only did when it was for petty shit. The same thing happened when he humiliated her in front of everyone in the train, and letting emmy being insulted again by alex before that orgy. Idk, it's such a cruel thing, he was just as mean as emmy, but it was always overlooked by others. Will grayson is such a turn off for me fr, i can never see myself being attracted to a man or a book boyfriend like him tbh. Damon would never let anyone treats Winter like that, not even her own sister, even though HE was worse for her at first, and this comes from a damon hater alright. Nightfall made me so disappointed of will, i almost skipped nightfall's epilogue and his pov in firenight, if not for emmy's crumbs. All of that drama and pain because he was a pussy.

I hink i really agree with one of your older damon slander asks that said something about hating to read about whiny incompetent male characters, and it's probably not just because of my moral or personality, but also because we had enough of these men in reality! I dont want to escape reality only to find men like the horsemen in stories i read. Will grayson could've been like christian from the made series, but no, he was the walmart version of him.

Idk idc, will grayson didnt do it for me. Anyway, if you want a morally better and ACTUAL loyal pining of ACTUAL mean girl x sunshine amazing characters, i recommend you and your followers The Losers series by Harley Laroux. It's devil's night, but fucking amazing. It's reverse harem though, so if you're not into it then maybe you can just skip it. The main character jessica, was everything that pd wished rika or alex were and would be. Literally. Jessica was THE it girl, and she embraced it. This series was about going over the edge too, and be true to yourself, and just exploring topics of kinks, shame, vulnerability, love, friendships, identity, career, desire, etc. and everything amazing i could think of. Thats all.

I tried to find the tiktok but the link didn’t go anywhere/said the video was unavailable. If you manage to find it again, or one similar, feel free to send it through.

I mean, it’s easy to sit here and say I wish the series had been done differently. There’s plenty I would change in the development of the characters, but there’s only so much I can do before I overhaul everything and start with something new. In that case, wouldn’t I just be using PDs framework/bones to build my own story? But then, aren’t a lot of the series/books in this genre (especially on KU) just made from the same bones? Built on the same or very similar idea? It’s true that there’s nothing new under the sun, but where does inspiration end and stealing begin?

This is all just to say I understand where you’re coming from.

Taking Will out of the super special box I’ve placed him in, examining him without rose-colored glasses, Will’s nothing. Less than nothing, really. He’s not good, he’s not kind, he’s not all that funny. Adding to that, all of these characters, with a few exceptions, are underdeveloped and inconsistent. I wanted more from the mysteries that PD posed, and I wanted more from the “bad guys for a good reason” vibe. What we got was a bunch of immature and messy characters acting like they knew what they were doing, but in reality really proved that privilege can give you a lot of blind spots. DN could have been done better. I’ve never denied that.

If you hate when authors use jealousy as motivation this much, then I can see why you were frustrated reading the series. For a group of people who were about freely experiencing the world with no limitations, and openly shared their S.O.s with their friends occasionally, they sure were jealous a lot. But you know… people get jealous. People also react out of anger and do stupid stuff for reasons that I can’t understand. So I won’t say that Alex should have been like Emmy because Emmy’s reaction was one that I could understand and relate to. Because there are real people who have reacted like Alex. What I didn’t like is that PD framed it as though Emmy was wrong and Alex was right. The reality is that neither of them should have been framed as the superior one. Emmy wasn’t perfect, I just understood her better.

I can see why Will was ruined for you. Like I’ve said before, by the end of NF I was ready to scrap the whole series, save for the past scenes where I agree with the portrayal of his character, and wipe my hands clean.

I feel like you saw and put a lot more importance of alex's presence in will's life more than i did, or even will did.

Honestly, I never saw Alex as important until Nightfall tried to convince us she was. But since that’s the narrative it served us, I tried to examine from that perspective. Why is Alex here? Why is she even relevant? The easy answer is that PD pushed that narrative. But removing that, just analyzing what the story is, and what are we left with? Making it make sense is what I'm trying to do.

I also always thought it was kinda sad that for someone who was "close" to will, alex was the one who always "seems" to care more about will, than the other way around. But it's not like her care matters so much, because it still doesn't change will for the better, he only just got less lonely, but was still very self-destructive.

What I thought was fascinating about this point is that you’re right, but also…

As noted at the end of KS, Will only started improving when Damon returned and his friends started helping him get off drugs. They got him clean, but not sober. I think that’s what finally motivated him to go to BC, because he started realizing he had nothing to offer his friends anymore. On top of that, was he going to rely on them to keep him clean? He couldn’t. He needed to learn to do that on his own. First real grown-up decision he made. Of course, he then became the worst version of himself, too scared to return to a place that offered all his vices so freely because he couldn't trust himself, and too stunted to try. He did the physical work, but none of the emotional or mental work. Alex never helped him with any of that.

She comforted him. She made him think everything he was doing was okay. Maybe she tried to encourage him, but I don’t think she ever pushed him to be better like Emmy would have. Emmy would have demanded better (at least the Emmy that lives in my head, but I think the book version is at least closer to that then Alex ever was). I truly think if Emmy had returned to Thunder Bay by the time Will was released from prison, he would either have never gotten that bad or she would and forced him to get better earlier.

But Emmy wasn’t there. Alex was, and who know why Alex did anything. Was it her character? Was it her flaws? Did she not know what to do for him because she’s literally 19 and life suddenly hands her a client who’s been to prison and has trauma surrounding that, and is angry, and is numbing his pain with vices, but that she can occasionally see a glimmer of something more in? I don’t know. Maybe it was just excellent sex, and even she says that’s what she’s usually thinking about. She says he puts in the work. Either way, because of the way this story was told, it’s up to the reader to make up their own mind. No one is more correct than anyone else, least of all me. I read way too much into this anyway. It’s really not that deep.

The fact that will couldn't get any friends outside of the horsemen if they're not their friends' girls, escorts, people he can pay with money, or people of similar status with him, even with all his status and privilege, already tells a lot about his classist and shallow personility. I kinda understand though being friends with people of the same class

I mean… I’m not sure about this opinion. We see these guys host parties in nearly every book. It’s safe to say they have friends outside each other. And if you want to say all those friendships are shallow because they’re built on who has money and what people can offer each other, that’s fine. I won’t argue that point, though I’d disagree with it. But it’s obvious that these relationships are the most important to them, and since we only see a very narrow time frame of the series, we don’t get a lot of development of outside plot.

Even when they had time alone, they always had to involve some third parties in their relationship, which pisses me off so much.

This is partly why I say I would have preferred if NF had taken place in Thunder Bay like the others or was not the end of the series. The force proximity and limited cast really make it difficult to determine what is Will and Emmy, and what is the situation forcing them to act this way. Not giving either an escape route to see what decisions they’d make without the pressure is frustrating. There is a way to keep this plot and make the series work.

Now, If Will Grayson was a stronger man, Alex Palmer will never be able to slap Emory Scott. The only reason why his friends can treat emmy like shit was because Will lead them by example, just like how the horsemen initially didnt respect rik because michael humiliate him by example.

This is a fair point. I’ve been thinking a lot about friend group dynamics, especially in fours (gee, wonder why), and I realized something that frustrates me about the way the horsemen are set up. I’m gonna segue into something else, so if you want to skip the next few paragraphs, that’s fine.

Michael is set up as the leader, Kai the brains, Damon the passion, and Will the heart. In recent posts, I’ve called Michael the brain, and Kai the heart. Because that’s what makes sense to me in terms of the roles they feel. A leader needs to lead with something, right. It can be courage, it can be heart, it can be logic, but it needs to be something. Just calling Michael a leader because he makes the call doesn’t mean anything. What is he leading with.

But Michael is framed as logical and decisive, so I place him as the brain. Kai is supposed to be compassionate and wise, the voice of reason in the group, which PD calls the brains, but I call the heart. Damon can remain the passion. But that leaves Will with nothing.

Will, in my head, is supposed to be the glue that holds them together. He’s supposed to be the one they go to when they need encouragement, to see things from a better perspective. The one that fixes them, not the other way around.

If that’s the case, he totally fails in his role. He’s so weakened by his various traumas and heartbreak, he can’t fulfill that role. And that’s irritating because it takes the entire series for him to come out of that and then it ends. We never actually get to see Will as he was supposed to be. That’s what pisses me off. So, you’re right. He’s useless.

Back to your point, I think also would have preferred to see a stronger Will. A character who is so happy all the time, the glue that holds the team together, the one they go to when they need to be built back up, and all of a sudden the only thing that makes him so angry he goes over the edge appears in front of him again? To the point he becomes unhinged and starts wilding out? That could have been interesting.

And it’s interesting because we do see a bit of what you were talking about with Will setting the standard when Damon was trashing her at the cove, before they went to beat martin. He straight forwardly, in all seriousness, tells Damon to stop. Will can feel that way about her, but no one else. Somewhere along the way, Will lost that thought. Where’d it go? I don’t know.

Anyway. What can you do?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I hope I understood what you were saying and responded fairly. I know I come off as totally pro-Will Grayson, Will Grayson can do no wrong, but that's not the case. I do see the characters clearly (for the most part). Not only that, but I want them to be better. So I make it so.

[vierandancer]

DAWNTRAIL

The day finally came to depart for the New World -- Tural.

After a rocky day at sea, Meiko and A'kihiko, along with their companions, arrived in the beautiful capital of Tuliyollal. There was an overwhelming amount of things to see, but the Rite of Succession quickly took precedence over sightseeing. It was a welcome change of pace, however, as the Third Promise Wuk Lamat took center stage in all things -- with Hiko and Mei playing the role of encouraging mentors, something they both enjoyed.

They were both surprised, and perhaps a bit annoyed on Meiko's part, when Thancred and Urianger turned up. At first this was mostly because they hadn't told them about it, and later due to the light bit of sabotage. From that point until the Rite's end, Meiko would punch Thancred in the arm every time she saw him, and take Urianger's drinks when he wasn't looking (when they were on break back in the city). A'kihiko also feigned hurt, stating that 'Thancred and Urianger found a new Miqote' and 'So I guess I mean nothing to you'. It was all in jest, of course. Meiko later teased the two over adopting yet another child in need of direction (to Koana's displeasure).

All the while, the only thing keeping Meiko and A'kihiko from straight up murdering Bakool Ja Ja (especially after Valigarmanda's release) was that it would probably be frowned upon. Although, they were certainly nearing their patience limits. They proudly cheered Wuk Lamat on from the sidelines when she finally beat his arse.

Outside of that drama, Mei and Hiko enjoyed learning about the different cultures and histories of the people of Tural. They were also more than eager to look after Wuk Lamat at her father's behest, and found common ground with both her and her brother. Meiko spoke with her about her own feelings about being in her brother's shadow, and Hiko bonded with Koana over being yet another Miqo'te child left behind.

When the strange military emerged from out of nowhere and attacked Tuliyollal, the two were quick to jump into action to save those they could. Following Zoraal Ja's threats, they made their way to Heritage Found, and soon met Sphene. Neither Mei nor Hiko trusted her from the beginning, having witnessed her presence during the first attack -- but like with all their past enemies, knew they had to bide their time for her true plan to be revealed. They continued to let Wuk Lamat lead on, although by the time everything became clear, they had mostly guessed what was going on: although, they were shocked that Ascians hadn't had a direct hand in the plot.

When it came to the Golden City, Meiko recalled her learnings from her time spent exploring Aloalo Island some months prior. As they proceeded through Living Memory, they gave their companions space to say goodbye to those who yet lingered there, but did not object to shutting everything down. Again, memories of Amaurot still rang strong in their heads.

At the end of everything, Meiko and Hiko brought out Azem's Crystal to summon allies to their aid. But when they did, the mysterious sought-after relic clearly resonated, bearing their Ancient's symbol for the briefest of moments. Between that and the list of locations Hades had dictated to them in Ultima Thule, it was clear that they were being driven to uncover what it was Azem had been doing leading up to the Final Days. There had been the portal to the Thirteenth in the Bounty, the location of the relic with the Speaker of Aloalo, and now the Golden City containing a civilization whisked away from another Reflection...

After talking it over, Meiko and A'kihiko agreed not to share this theory with their companions just yet. Although they themselves disliked when their companions omitted certain information in the past, they also recognized that the responsibility was only theirs to bear. Until they had more to go off of than pure instinct, they would allow their companions to continue to enjoy their respite unburdened. For now, A'kihiko keeps the Key on his person, while Meiko began to chart out a map towards their next destination.

[inf1nyxw0rlds]

idols lore because i want to YAP. my idols au doesn't follow the narrative of the story by sonic channel, it's a separate thing wherein they actually are just musicians (with different backstories as a result but the same themes).

infinite was originally the lead singer in a band with his friends. they weren't super well-known but had a dedicated, passionate fanbase, who loved in particular the energy that he would bring to the stage; his presence was always lively and authentic and engaging, and he clearly adored what he did.

shadow was a solo artist, and a really good one. he was incredibly popular, though this came with equal cons, the main being toxicity among his fans. he doesn't tend to address it, but he finds it offputting, and unlike infinite, while his vocals are amazing, his presence is incredibly stoic and rigid, as he wants to be taken seriously and struggles to embrace that kind of attitude.

they didn't want to team up, but shadow's manager, eggman, insisted upon it as a means of increasing shadow's popularity further with a new gimmick. infinite was offered a large sum for agreeing and an impressive ongoing salary, and despite not wanting to give up his band and integrity by selling out, his band urges him to take the deal so that he can build a better life for himself and get his name out there. eggman also did threaten him with scandal and public ruin should he refuse, so it's really the wisest decision.

shadow is not happy about this arrangement, either, but there's little he can do about it. eggman briefs him on infinite, and he has no idea who he is. he does some research, and is put off by his attitude, but figures he'll do his best to give the guy a chance, at least. if it doesn't work out, perhaps he can convince eggman to break the contract.

infinite does know who shadow is, but only because he's so popular; it's a surface level awareness. he doesn't think highly of him beyond his vocals, which he does envy, but he thinks shadow still lacks passion despite his voice being powerful, and dislikes that he seems full of himself. shadow also, to him, had fame handed to him through eggman, which he looks down upon.

when they first meet, it doesn't go well. their lack of understanding already predisposes them to negative assumptions, and a few insults is all it takes to turn the crack between them into a chasm. one of these remarks is one that prompts infinite to adorn a mask as part if his new getup.

the characters they play on stage, as well as in music videos, are a vampire (shadow) and a vampire hunter (infinite); i wanted them to have a more cohesive theme and i also just hate that fuckass royal military outfit they put infinite in, i'm a hater and it sucks. working on his ref and might tweak shadow's costume a lil too, but for now you're gonna have to imagine it. big, long jacket that reaches his calves, singed and torn at the bottom, black pants, stompy boots, belts holding cloves of garlic. he has holy water and a stake inside his jacket and another in a holster on his thigh though i may switch that for his sword because i forgot it was a thing. the mask cuts off to expose his mouth and has serated edges, mimicking teeth, so he can sing clearly. he also wears a lot of necklaces, in mixed lengths. one of them has a pendant that mimics the ruby and another is a large silver cross, which he discards as part of his characters arc – more on that coming. his hair is a mix of decorated locs and braids.

the music they make together and the narrative of their characters is essentially directly parallel to their OWN arcs. the songs start out very violent and hateful and angry, and the screenplay in the videos reflects it. the vampire and the hunter are enemies, out to kill each other. as they themselves hate each other, it's not too difficult to play the roles, and this form of perfomance proves easier for shadow as they can do as many takes necessary to perfect it. shadow is absolutely adamant their work be perfect, setting near impossible standards for the both of them, which is another point of contention. infinite struggling with perfectionism also enables him, and they argue frequently about the other messing things up.

as i mentioned before, one of the things shadow hates is infinite's attitude during live shows. he feels that people are taking them less seriously because of infinite's looser persona on stage, dancing around, being rowdy, and engaging with their fans while he stands stiffly. when infinite tries to rope him into it one night despite their mutual dislike, having fun and getting carried away in the moment, shadow freezes up and in spite of having minimal response, is convinced it ruined the whole show. he's mad at himself for his inability to do something so simple, and mad at infinite for pulling him into his stupid embarrassing crap and madder still that infinite can do something that he can't, something he'd like to do if he could only let himself. he envies his authenticity. he explodes in the dressing room, and the rift widens. infinite stops dancing. he stops smiling.

things continue to suck. infinite is miserable and shadow is faring no better. he should be happier now that infinite has stopped all the bullshit. he doesn't even talk to shadow anymore, beyond clipped hellos, farewells, and even those are uncommon; he tends to not even bother with greeting him, and leaves without a word after rehearsals or concerts. the fans have also noticed the shift, and eggman halts further performances in light of rumors and bad press.

shadow scrolls through old videos and pictures of infinite during his days with his old band. no mask, smiling, eyes burning with passion. happy. he doesn't feel well. when did he even last see infinite smile? that night? before shadow yelled at him? no, it was infinite's fault for trying that shit, he had it coming. he had looked so earnest. shadow closes his laptop.

with no scheduled performances and production on their upcoming video coming to an end, they see each other less. that, too, should be a good thing. they've never really gotten to know each other. he doesn't even know where infinite lives. eggman urges them both to make up, and in spite of his pride, shadow decides to try. nothing productive can be done like this. it's not because he feels bad. it's still infinite's fault.

so like, they talk. or, argue, then talk. a lot of the specifics here are kind of vague, but their relationship does start to get better slowly. they start having short conversations. a little banter. their work improves and their stage dynamic returns to it's former normal. shadow still envies him, silently, unaware that infinite envies him, for other reasons. they're still kind of jerks, but tolerate each other and start to bond. shadow finds he prefers infinite's smile to his frown. it's hard to tell what he's thinking behind the mask, and he curses himself for being the reason infinite wears it. infinite likes shadow's smile, too. it's a rare sight, and being able to draw one out gives him a feeling of pride... and elicits a weird feeling he pointedly ignores.

lines start to blur as they open up. little, not often; but they're becoming a bit more vulnerable. infinite admits, begrudgingly, that he envies shadow's vocal skill, and shadow admits he still doesn't think he's good enough. shadow admits he envies infinite's authenticity, and infinite admits that he's the least authentic person out there outside of his music.

they celebrate the release of the final song in their first album, and arc two begins.

for their next set of songs, they want to do something different, and eggman shares this desire. at this point, infinite is having a lot of feelings, and he channels them into a private song, unholy. it's literally about how he's falling in love with shadow, but when shadow finds out (either through seeing the lyrics, or actually hearing him singing it after hours at their practice venue when he thinks that he's alone), he says it's about queer love and nothing more.

shadow tells him, honestly, that it's good, and suggests they actually include it in their next releases. despite his internal conflict, infinite agrees. the next arc is literally enemies to lovers between their characters, as per eggman's suggestion that leaves little room for argument, bouncing off the themes in unholy to create a toxic forbidden yaoi narrative. and when it comes to the music video choreography... things get interesting.

homoerotic fights is one thing, but unholy calls for a climatic kiss scene, and infinite in particular is losing his mind. shadow, noticing his discomfort, says he can try and convince eggman to cut it out, but infinite refuses to compromise their work, insisting that it's fine despite having an emotional breakdown because he does want to kiss shadow, and that's the problem.

shadow is less aware of his developing feelings at this stage, hence he's handling it better and able to view it as simply business with a coworker. to help infinite become more comfortable, he suggests they begin practicing privately, without the critical eye of the director and other onlookers, away from the camera lenses. infinite goes along with it, unsure if kissing shadow in private is really going to ease his nerves or make them worse.

so they practice and it's awkward at first but. they become more comfortable with it after a few sessions. and if those sessions start to last a little longer, who's keeping track? shadow brings up an idea he had about including a bite as a means of symbolism, that his character, even if he loves infinite's, is still a vampire, and it's his nature. he says they can edit the blood, of course. infinite tells him to go for it; it'll be more impactful if it's raw and unedited. also they're fucking weird.

they begin to experiment with the kiss, with body language, and it's at this point shadow is... getting carried away. as in, this is fun. he actively enjoys kissing infinite. he refuses to unpack it, though, until he takes it so far as to shove infinite into the table and freezes, because while they have some creative liberties to play with, that is definitely not in the script for the atmosphere of the scene. he panics, bails, and infinite doesn't know what he did wrong. shadow goes off radar for a week, and infinite loses his drive, holing himself up in his apartment until rouge convinces shadow to go talk to him.

infinite is pissed. doesn't want to see him, but he lets him in anyway. they argue because shadow is unable to talk feelings and deflects the problem onto infinite, because making it about infinite is easier than it being about him, but some aggressive remarks and a challenging comment later has him kissing him again. shadow tells him he hates him, and infinite responds the same, but there's an unspoken mutual understanding between them that their feelings go both ways. they agree to continue practice – shadow says they need to make up for missed sessions and infinite agrees, though not before reminding him that was his fault. they call it method acting going forward, a means of justifying their freak relationship as business, for the sake of their art.

arc two ends with the release of unholy, the video ending with a bloody kiss and infinite's cross left in the dirt as the closing shot.

arc three baby yeeeeeaaaaah! except um i don't have a lot for it. they're gay, and they take a break from writing new songs for a bit, maybe do a tour. shadow encourages infinite to perform unholy solo, as it was his song, as a bonus at their concerts. maybe an acoustic version. idk but infinite, while apprehensive, agrees, and most people love it. their fans and the press are obviously going crazy over the new releases and potential implications of their dynamic, but for now they keep their relationship private and their performances remain relatively unchanged, save for them looking far happier. the first time infinite sings unholy solo, shadow can hardly look away, nor hide his soft smile, and the likes he drops on a bunch of the fanposts, almost all images gushing over infinite, only fuel all the gossip.

not all his fans are as pleasant, unfortunately. shadow's fanbase is, as i said, more toxic than infinite's, and many of them say that shadow was better as they solo artist, that infinite ruined his music, etc. the truly horrible ones start conflict over the rumors, stating that there's no way shadow could love infinite, and that he's probably ugly beneath the mask, or that he is, pulling up old pictures and making fun of them. infinite shrugs it off, but shadow is pissed, and makes himself very clear to the public that those comments are a load of shit and he couldn't have a better partner. the media goes wild, again, eggman has words for him for stirring things up in a way that wasn't pre-approved, and infinite is stunned that shadow cares so much, because they still haven't actually talked their relationship out and despite knowing shadow is happy with things he has doubts and insecurities.

the narrative of the characters in this phase is further exploration of their relationship, and it ends with the vampire hunter being turned into a vampire as well, so that they won't ever part.

and that's lore :]

[yijiepeng]

Week 1 Hypnotising

In the first week of the lesson, I learnt what HMsEx was. HMsEx was an activity that needed to appeal to and stimulate multiple sensory perceptions at the same time, where the close integration of soundtracks and lighting would give the audience a strong sensory experience that was engaging. Lighting design was essential in HMsEx because lighting can be coloured to set off the visual effect and atmosphere needed for a particular object The colours used in lighting design were also determined by the theme. Each colour has its own significance, and of course, cold light and warm light were the most commonly used lighting colours, and their presence would make the characters on stage more distinct and help to understand the plot better. In choosing hypnotising as an adjective for HMsEx, our group explored what was hypnotising and what was mesmerising, what was the difference between them and how it can be designed and researched.

Project: Zimoun's artwork

While researching what kind of artwork is hypnotic, our professor told us we could learn about Zimoun's work. It took me a long time to get to know this wonderful artist. Through researching Zimoun's work, I realised that he creates works that are somewhere between music and fine art, and are related to installations and spatial art. He uses materials to present sound through complex installations. His fascination with sound is breathtaking. He tries to investigate the easiest and most efficient way to create sound directly rather than pre-recording it. He also combines this with his spatial art to create a more immersive and multi-sensory experience.

I want to create visual and auditory experiences that are hypnotic. This will require lighting and sound design, possibly using cool colours, a hypnotic soundtrack and changing lighting design. But before I can do that, I need to learn some basic training in Pharos Designer to help me prepare for what's to come.

Week 2 Understanding the Goals

I learned some great things in class this week and also understood that emotions should have their own place in the world. Every emotion has its place, but they still need to be awakened in order to be fully explored.

Clarify design goals and be open to exploring innovative ideas.

Watch Kenneth Stanley's lecture video, where he discusses how 'making plans' is beyond the capabilities of artificial intelligence, such as creativity, innovation, and collaboration. This means we need to carefully plan the path to 'greatness.' In his talk, he emphasized the concept of 'openness,' which means it is not possible to explicitly make plans. He also talked a lot about experimentation and planning, but I don't entirely agree with him. The key to success is not abandoning goals but rather stopping the process of making them before it's all over.

I have also learned the basic skills of Pharos Design, so in order to be able to create excellent design works in the future, master the software proficiently, and produce good designs, I need to practice more.

Week 3 Exercise

The reason for choosing the adjective " hypnotising " was to create a sensation that would engage people to follow the light. I tried to make the light as rotating as possible when creating the demo. I made the lights rotate as much as possible when I created the demo, so that the two sides of the lights would have a different undulating design. This gives the audience the experience of the light and the music as one. This week I designed the pharos project and decided on the shape of the blinking lights, I hope to have a better test next week.

Research

O’Donoghue, Dawn. “Self Hypnosis - with Art at It’s Heart.” Www.hypnotherapy-Directory.org.uk, 15 Feb. 2021, www.hypnotherapy-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/self-hypnosis-with-art-at-its-heart. Accessed 4 Aug. 2023.

By researching what hypnosis does in art, I came across "Self hypnosis - with art at it's heart" by Dawn O'Donoghue. The article talks about how self-hypnosis with art at its heart can be a creative way of accessing the subconscious mind, exploring emotions and promoting personal growth. It will generate the following themes:

Self-discovery

Stress reduction and relaxation

Emotional healing and expression

Target-setting performance

Overcoming Fears

Enhancing creativity and problem-solving skills

Increased self-confidence

Healing trauma. In my work, there may be people who will deny that it is not hypnotising, and there may be people who will perceive it as hypnotising; it all depends on the creative concept that the viewer can fully sense.

Week4

research more academic of hypnotized

find out more hypnotic music（simple）

Research Academic

Holmes, E. (2007). Sound and Song as Hypnotherapy: A Holistic Approach for Transformation Through the Use of Sound and Song. Australian Journal of Clinical Hypnotherapy and Hypnosis, 28(1), 12-18. https://login.ezproxy.lib.rmit.edu.au/login?url=https://www.proquest.com/scholarly-journals/sound-song-as-hypnotherapy/docview/228166915/se-2

“Since the dawn of time cultures and civilisations have used sound......is expressed in many different forms, such as chanting, prayer, toning, and harmonics." (Holmes, al, 2007）

Sound and music can help clients achieve a relaxing environment that can help enhance hypnosis. Sound therapy uses a range of sounds to help relieve stress, anxiety and other emotional problems. Music therapy can help clients evoke memories of emotions and can stimulate brain activity, and can be a "tool" that can assist in the healing process. Hypnotherapy is the process of inducing access to the subconscious by the therapist to help clients with anxiety, fear and other psychological states.

Therefore, in choosing " hypnotising " sounds/music, I will need to look more for sounds/music that will awaken my deepest emotions as much as possible.

Music research

Philip Glass in Spotify

 Steve Reich in Spotify

 Consumed By Plastikman in Spotify

I'm still looking for " hypnotising " minimalist music.

Karen Wiles's artwork

《TRANQUILITY BELOW》 by Karen Wiles

Her photography is extremely imaginative and boldly displays her passion and appreciation for life in her photographs. But in this one, she brings me a beautiful but hypnotising feeling that is very fascinating. The combination of the colour of the water and the old rusty golden columns is so calming to the soul.

In this week's presentation, there was mention of the need to have a clearer understanding of what constitutes purely hypnotic music, and the need to search for as many as possible to facilitate compositions in Pharos. I will also be looking for as much literature on different aspects of hypnosis as possible to support and help me to understand and compose my work.

Week 5

This week I settled on the music I wanted to showcase in Pharos, which was China Gates from John Adams. And it was established with the professor that only the first twenty seconds would be looped as the background sound.

For the Pharos piece presented on Thursday, there were a lot of things I had to tweak in there, such as the fact that the lighting doesn't have to follow the music, but rather keep the two walls together as much as possible for the light to "rotate" to ensure that the feeling of a "hypnotzing" presence is maintained.

Kim, J., & Kim, J. Y. (2020). Fixation Differences in Spatial Visual Perception During Multi-sensory Stimulation. Frontiers in psychology, 11, 132. https://doi-org.ezproxy.lib.rmit.edu.au/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00132

Their research states that "Addressing other aspects of background music, scholars have found that quiet (vs. loud) airline cabin noise increased the intensity of sweet solutions and decreased the intensity of umami-flavored solutions (Wang et al., 2015). ", which is the same as the "hypnotic" combination of music and light that I wanted to show. I wanted to immerse the audience and Capitol's lighting in a hypnotic world. When the audience is in a quieter and darker environment, it is easier for them to feel "hypnotizing".

Apa.org, 2021, www.apa.org/topics/psychotherapy/hypnosis.‌

Hypnosis can be an expression of a state of focused attention, and most of them feel calm and relaxed when they are treated again. However, different modalities have different levels of hypnosis for different people.And hypnosis is not a type of psychotherapy, it is more of a program that helps other types of therapy. It is very influential for the perception part.

Week 6

Research of the use of hypnosis in psychology.

“Hypnosis | Psychology Today Australia.” Www.psychologytoday.com, www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/hypnosis. Accessed 27 Aug. 2023.

Hypnosis is a mental state of highly focused concentration, diminished peripheral awareness, and heightened suggestibility .(“Hypnosis | Psychology Today Australia”) These are behaviours that need to be induced and suggested to help or improve some of the desired changes. Not all people are susceptible to hypnosis, however; each person's executive control centre in the prefrontal cortex ("Hypnosis | Psychology Today Australia") brings a different response to the brain.

This week Jonathan Graffam gives us a great presentation. And had a discussion with the BPD project people. He is more versed in the field of contemporary theatre and popular performance. In the video he showed us he also showed as much as he could of what the stage play was trying to show.

On Thursday we go to the Capitol to test Pharos Design project.

There is no need for Celling lighting as it will appear abrupt. The option of transitioning in Pro Arch will make the whole lighting look smoother.

Week7

Evans, B., & Burrows, G. (1998). Hypnosis in Australia. http://www.hypnosisaustralia.org.au/wp-content/uploads/Hypnosis-in-AustraliaNOV97.pdf#page=54‌

This article mentions that when the desired effect of hypnosis is realised, it can be an effective vehicle for generating emotional experiences and leading to imaginative scenes. Music can also be an aid to self-hypnosis in stress management (Evans & Burrows, 1998).

Music affects human consciousness and when coupled with appropriate hypnotic sounds to attract attention it is an easy way to enter into hypnosis. For example, when dancing, there must be music, and when meditating, there will be music to help meditate. This suggests that " When not using music as the central focus of attention, we are used to it in the background of experience."(Evans & Burrows , 1998) will have different insights into music from different perspectives. The article also suggests that "Music has a long history of use for manipulating mood and motivation, …… also in healing traditions. "Clynes (1987) defines music as an organisation that transmits feelings to the listener (Evans & Burrows, 1998), and he understands rhythm and melody as two elements. Rhythm can be transmitted to the central system to produce regularity, it is the melody that expresses the emotion of the sound.

Reflection:

Eliminate the use of pink or red, which are more prominent colours, in this lighting design, instead you can switch to yellow lights rotating around on both sides, you can choose not to use the top lights, just cycle through the changes twice, don't worry about being too monochromatic, it will be more immersive. Feel better about hypnotising and fascinating.

THIRD - Ablaye Diop · Djeff · Gabriel Mokayed

THIRD is a visual and performance art collaboration between three artists who express elements with hypnotic effects in different ways. The following points in their work are worthwhile for me to learn from The following points in their work are interesting for me to learn:

The drum beats, notes and dances are combined and repeated in music-synchronised dance movements, making the audience feel immersed and hypnotised.

Visual effects and lighting design with soft light and gradient colours to create a visual attraction and make the audience feel as if they are in a dream world.

Music and sound effects in the use of sound systems to highlight the music and sound effects, which can help the audience to strengthen the feeling, and further enhance the hypnotic effect. 4.

The decoration in the stage design, the elaborate design of the background and stage elements can be echoed with THIRD. These are all things that I can try to apply to my work to help the audience enter the world of hypnosis.

Work in progress

I change all the pink and red color to the blue, try to emphasise the whole work more immserve mesmerising and hypnotising.

Week 8

Hollander, B. (1928). Revival: Methods and Uses of Hypnosis and Self Hypnosis (1928): A Treatise on the Powers of the Subconscious Mind (1st ed.). Routledge. https://doi-org.ezproxy.lib.rmit.edu.au/10.4324/9780203704820 P99-114

Although the article does not explicitly show how it relates hypnosis to experience, the article describes the sensation of being under hypnosis and waking up, which is not influenced by the subconscious mind, and also exemplifies many experiments that discuss the experience of people who undergo hypnosis. So the article is still able to show that there is a relationship between hypnosis and experience.

The article also suggests that "the effects of hypnosis vary from person to person" so I can only make sure that my work can make the audience feel "hypnotized" and not just a combination of lights and music.

designboom, kat barandy I. (2019, March 15). oscar oiwa paints hypnotic “BLACK & LIGHT” mural within an inflatable dome. Designboom | Architecture & Design Magazine. https://www.designboom.com/art/oscar-oiwa-black-light-visionaire-03-15-19/‌

His work is a landscape of hypnotic vortexes projected onto the surface of the interior of the inflatable polyamide dome, intertwining black and white murals to give the viewer an immersive experience on the second level. I prefer the vortex in his work to bring the viewer into a hypnotic world, and my lighting design is the same, with the ever-changing light loop creating a vortex of memories to bring the viewer into my work.

Reflection

Darrin likes the design very much and is very immersive, but needs to combine the "thump" of the proarch with the two sides, as it looks a bit messy on both sides. The colour of the double could be faded to yellow and some of the clutter removed instead still using the dual loop application.

I'll try to keep it from being uncomfortable to look at, and try to make the proarch and the sound work well together for easy viewing.

Week 9

research

Wickless, Cynthia, and Irving Kirsch. “Effects of Verbal and Experiential Expectancy Manipulations on Hypnotic Susceptibility.” Journal of personality and social psychology 57.5 (1989): 762–768. Web.

The article is mostly about investigating the effects of verbal and experiential anticipation manipulation on hypnotic susceptibility, but it also tells a little bit about what kind of collision can occur between lighting and hypnosis. The article demonstrated that the colour of light could be used to confirm the suggestion of visual experience during hypnosis by studying the experiment that "the confirmation of visual experience suggestion was achieved by the use of 25-watt red, green, and blue bulbs and 15-watt white bulbs mounted on a light panel"（Wickless & Kirsch 1965) . I may not have used red, green, blue and white for the colour experiment as I did in this experiment, but I would have changed my colours, choosing white and blue from the four, so that the light would have a transition from white to light blue to dark blue.

Schifano, S. (2019, June 28). The Hypnotic, Mind-bending Work of Italian Designer Franco Grignani. Eye on Design. https://eyeondesign.aiga.org/the-hypnotic-mind-bending-work-of-italian-designer-franco-grignani/‌

Franco Grigani The word "hypnosis" in Grigani's art is created when the viewer is required to interact with an abstract work similar to Op Art, allowing some viewers to report a mesmerising and hypnotic experience. Through the use of colour, form and optical effects, his work can create an engaging and visually appealing sensation.

The use of vivid colours, geometric shapes and movement as the main design of his work is the same as my idea. However, because my music is quite flat, I can't use bright colours, so I have to use geometric shapes and " sense of movement " to bring out the hypnotic visual effect of my work.

Reflection:

Pro arch adds fades in and out from top to bottom or bottom to top If you really need to change the colour of the light, go from dark to light to dark. (e.g. blue start fading in the middle, then gradually deepen all the way to yellow) But since the music is very calm, say the lighting won't change much.

I will be working on the colours and end result for this Pharos before making the final submission. Although I designed the Pharos to rotate in a circle, it doesn't really look like a circle in reality, so I still need to change it here. For the colours I decided to go with a white gradient all the way to a dark blue. There will also be a slow push back and forth gradient for the pro arch.

Week 10

Research

Cuttle, Christopher. Lighting Design: A Perception-Based Approach. 1st ed. United Kingdom: Routledge, 2015. Web.

By researching this article, it is clear that designers first have to define the space they are designing for and then they can use their knowledge of visual perception to understand how lighting patterns and object attributes affect the viewer's perception, or to use lighting to emphasise the characteristics of the space and to create a certain mood or atmosphere. Lighting can be dimmed or brightened to evoke a mood and enhance the visual effect. Different levels of lighting will create better depth and dimension and assist in presenting the overall lighting effect.

Reflection

After changing the colour visually, the original is much better. In the fade near Pro Arch can adjust the length. I can choose to adjust the long point. In the last part of the sound, fade out so that the whole sound end will not behave abruptly, the last fade-out can be used Celling because the front is not used, in the end can be the last slow in the Celling confluence of lights, there will be a very good visual effect. The final design I need to think about how to show the perfect effect.

Week 11

Research

Christie Projectors and Design Silver Fish Deliver Mesmerizing Visuals at Korea’s Largest Media Art Exhibition. New York: PR Newswire Association LLC, 2023. Print.

HAYES, ANNA . “Christie Projectors Used for Korea’s Largest Media Art Exhibition.” Connected Magazine, 22 Feb. 2023, connectedmag.com.au/christie-projectors-used-for-koreas-largest-media-art-exhibition/#:~:text=Design%20Silver%20Fish%20has%20placed. Accessed 8 Oct. 2023

Both articles are about the Christie Projector and Design Silverfish working together to create mesmerising visuals that captivated the audience at Korea's largest media art exhibition. For this exhibition they used brief projection techniques to create immersive experiences that drew people deeper. They also innovated the concept of art to realise the fusion of art and technology, leading the audience to be mesmerised and impressed all who viewed the exhibition, which demonstrated how technology and creativity can drive the field of digital media art.

Reflection

In the last part added celling fade out until the end of the sound, but in Capitol looks like it needs to be improved again, because the last two sides of the light to stop the part and the celling of the light articulation is not to very good, need to continue to improve.

Week 12

Reflection

We had our final Pharos showing this week, and I felt that the timing of the Celling light at the end didn't click, and it looked like it would take people out of "hypnosis". However, the three teachers advised me not to add the final Celling light because it was not added from the beginning to the end, and adding it all of a sudden would be very sudden and unattractive. And in the middle part of the Pro Arch I need to pay attention to the fade in, fade out is very silky smooth so I don't need to make too many changes. I made a change in the last part and decided to design five circles from both sides and slowly push them out, so that the circle lights gradually fade in.

“Pixelwave.” Ramus, www.ramus.com.au/work/pixelwave/. Accessed 15 Oct. 2023.

The Pixel Wave lighting design adds a soft and immersive visual effect to the entire space. This light casts a kaleidoscopic effect on the wall by reflecting and refracting light. The reason I researched this piece was because I also have a lot of looping waves in my work and wanted to have overhead lighting for the final area, although I couldn't use Celling lighting, I still wanted to show the display of waves in this piece.

[homemade-ghosts]

I think PW not working out long term isn't just about the different life stages they're currently in. It's also they don't have a really rock solid foundation for friendship like Rina does. PWs can say whatever they want that PW was set up since Season 1 and while I do agree with that to a certain extent, they barely interacted until Season 2. Rina's foundation was set in stone since Season 1 and they were friends first. PW being in a vulnerable state on both sides wasn't good for them.

While I don’t necessarily agree that pw has been set up since s1, I’m right there with you on everything else.

When EJ suspected Gina didn't like him romantically, he immediately broke off the dinner that she was very obviously looking forward to and proceeded to avoid her at all costs. Even when Gina tried to explain the misunderstanding ("you got bad intel") he was completely unwilling to hear her out. It wasn’t until she asked him for a kiss that he engaged with her. He was (& still is) not particularly interested in being her friend, the promise of romance is his only incentive to maintain a “close” (in quotes because proximity does not equal actual closeness) relationship with her. They’ve never had the level of commonality, understanding or trust in one another that it takes to be friends, which is why it was always going to be romance or nothing for them (& why that romance was always going to be very surface level. After all, you can’t develop a deeper relationship with someone you don’t...get on a fundamental level).

When Gina tells Ricky she misses her mom, he gets it, but when she tells EJ that her mom is moving back to SLC, it’s like he doesn’t even fully register what she’s saying at first...and when he does, it’s clear he has no concept of how important it is for her to finally have her mom be a regular presence in her life again, because he immediately makes it about himself and how, while Gina is moving back, he might be moving away (there’s a metaphor in there somewhere). & that night on Ashlyn’s couch in s2, when EJ talked about how he’s had his whole life planned out for him and finished it with, “you know?” Gina replied, “not really.” because she doesn’t know. She’s only ever known instability & change (something Ricky becomes incredibly familiar with and eventually accustomed to throughout his arc on the series) she’s never gotten the chance to have a plan, which is why it means so much when she tells EJ she was trying to build a future with him. Finally, she has the promise of a home (not just a house) and a mom and a life that’s consistent enough for her to feel confident in planning for the future. EJ doesn’t understand what a relief this is for Gina, how huge this is for her, because he doesn’t understand her.

So, even though Gina really did want it to work between them and she tried so hard to make it work, that was never going to be enough. You can’t build on something that doesn’t have a strong foundation and if you try, it’s just going to crumble and fall.

Ricky, however, is someone Gina can build a future with in part because, no matter what, they are friends first & foremost. Though Ricky is in love with Gina (is it too soon to drop the “L” word? Probably, but I’m gonna do it anyway because I genuinely believe he both loves and is in love with her) his motivation is not & has never been romance. He respects, understands and values both his place in her life and her as a person and because of that, he, unlike EJ, will be a part of Gina’s world in whatever capacity she will have him. It was never all or nothing for him. He gets her & she gets him and that’s what’s at the core of their relationship. 

& of course Ricky wants to be in a relationship with Gina in the romantic sense, but he is more than willing to put what he wants aside for her sake. He supports, encourages and listens to her without any ulterior motive because, although they have never been just friends, they have always been friends. & friendship, like any form of true love, is not a selfish thing.

[taechaos]

Freaky Idea

Pt. 2 of New Idea

pairing: Stepbrother!Taehyung x Fem!Reader

genre: oneshot, pseudo-incest, smut

synopsis: The last guaranteed day you have with Taehyung is spent with his choice of adventure. You learn a lot of things about the history of freakshows, and how much of a freak your brother is as well.

warnings: mention of murder and somnophilia, riding, manipulation

word count: 3.8k

When Taehyung agreed to being your slave for a month, he wasn’t lying. He was attached to your hip throughout the whole time span, obeying your every command without complaint. You didn’t deem him forgiven, but you can’t say you don’t enjoy his company and compliance. The whole month was a bliss for you.

The first week, the morning after the… event, you had him prepare breakfast for you and your mother walked in on him cooking an omelette for you. She was perplexed, and with her morning drowsiness asked, “You’re home?” before smothering him with a hug. Your father gave him the minimum acknowledgement, and it went by quickly with your mother being surprised every time she saw him in the morning.

The second week, he drove you around and paid for your every need. You don’t know how he has so much money, but you wouldn’t be surprised if he sells drugs or had robbed a bank. You decided to reward him by kissing his cheek every time he bought you clothes and jewelries per your request. He realized he enjoyed spoiling you, and took you shopping in different malls for 7 days straight.

The third week, you met his friend. You had insisted, and he gave in after a short while of you begging because it was difficult to say no to you and rules are rules. His terms were: 1. You're going to act like his girlfriend, and 2. You sit on his lap. Maybe you didn't get it, but his friend Namjoon didn't seem dangerous enough for you to be behaving the way you were forced to. Sitting in front of a burning barrel in the middle of nowhere, Taehyung and Namjoon smoked weed together while you watched them. The conversation was fun, and you wanted to see him again. Taehyung didn’t allow you to question the ordeal. Rest of the week went by a breeze.

Fourth week was relatively calm as well, and now Taehyung is on his final day of slavery. It’s somewhat melancholic for you because you don’t know if he’ll vanish once the clock hits 12. You’re sitting on the kitchen counter, swinging your dangling legs while your step-brother inspects the fridge to find you something for lunch. The two of you woke up late this morning, well, afternoon, and you don’t know why you feel so exhausted and sore. You’ve been feeling this way for a whole month now, but you’re growing somewhat used to it. 

“This bitch is empty,” Taehyung grumbles before closing the fridge and standing up straight. When he notices your soft pout, he slithers his way between your legs. “What’s wrong princess? Are you tired?”

“Will you be here tomorrow?” you blurt without beating around the bush and peek at him under your lashes.

His brow ticks as he tilts his head. “Did you want to do something?”

“Well, no,” you drawl, “I just wish… you were here more often.”

"You know I can't stay away from you for long," he counters your worries, "especially if you allowed me to…"

"Stop." You distance yourself by pushing him away; you don't want to think about what he was implying. You made it explicitly clear that anything remotely sexual wasn't allowed to be brought up when you were around, and he’s been sticking to that rule until now - to your knowledge, at least. 

“Stop teasing your sister, Taehyung.” your mother enters the kitchen while tying the knot of her robe, now checking the fridge herself. 

He rolls his eyes before turning to her and retaliating, “I didn’t even do anything.” You giggle to yourself and bite your fist. “Did I tease you?” he asks innocently with his neck craned in your direction.

“Yes, he doesn’t even make me breakfast,” you joke with a grin. 

“The fridge is fucking empty!”

“Language,” your mother warns strictly before taking out a box of frozen pizza. “And it isn’t empty. Could you turn on the oven for me, love?” You nod and arrange the heat to 200 degrees while Taehyung scoffs, “I can’t survive in a house with women.”

“Man up,” your step-father butts in monotonously. “You have to rely on your mother to cook to this day. When will you move out? Act your age Taehyung, you’re 21.”

The light-hearted atmosphere dims with the presence of Taehyung’s father. There’s a distinct contrast between your two parents, and you can understand why your step-brother is so rebellious around them. The only thing holding them together is their dedication to religion. 

He only huffs and crosses his arms in response as his dad grabs a carton of juice and a glass from the cupboard. It’s tense in the room until Taehyung leans into your ear and whispers, “I’m only here because of you.”

A light blush tints your cheeks at his sweet confession, although it also makes you guilty. He later convinces you to eat with him in your room, and it’s comfortable in your bed as you chomp on the slices hungrily. 

“Is there anything you want to do today?” Taehyung asks as he chews on his pizza.

“Let’s do something you want for a change,” you answer after swallowing. 

Though he hasn’t been showing any lack of interest around you, you are aware that you haven’t been doing anything fun by his definition. You’re worried that you’ve bored him throughout this whole timespan of being together.

A smirk grows on his face and there’s that glint of mischief in his eyes that you’ve missed. Fair, the last time you saw it was before he traumatized you, but you try not to think about it much like you ignore the constant ache between your legs. 

“There’s this circus,” he begins slowly, “I hear it’s interesting. Would you want to come with?”

You know he’s leaving something out, his cautious tone and aura implicit he knows something you don’t. But you nod anyway, because you still stupidly trust him.

Taehyung’s car is old and retro, but he must have upgraded the engines for how fast he is driving. You like admiring his side profile as he holds the steering wheel, but the view is much more interesting when he catches you looking. It’s a far location, and you’re out of the city by the time he parks his car in the woods. How did he memorize the directions when it took an hour to get there?

“We’re here,” he announces before shifting the manual stick gear with a screech. You exit the car and he is not gentle with the way he slams the door closed, so you do the same. You can see hints of red colors between the cracks of the thin trees. 

“Is it open?” you question apprehensively. The sun hasn’t set yet, but it should be getting dark soon in the evening. 

“Hasn’t been open for a century. You wouldn’t believe the amount of history this place has.”

He takes the lead in his steps, and you follow behind though your gut doesn’t approve. The path isn’t long, and only then do you see the circus when Taehyung moves aside. It’s run down, worn out colors in the curtains, broken glasses on the ground and the circus barely holding itself up. There’s a huge cannon in the middle of the stage, the tip balancing itself on the ground. It’s kind of creepy, but Taehyung doesn’t leave you in the dark for long.

“A lot of crazy shit happened here, you know,” he piques your curiosity, “the clowns were fucking freaks. Any type of physical disorder landed you in here, whether you liked it or not. Even for babies,” he picks up an idle shard of glass, “these were jars. They had deformed fetuses on display on a stand, but the wind must have fucked it up.”

“Deformed fetuses?”

“Yeah, like, conjoined and some other stuff.” You grimace at his description, although it stirs empathy in you. The 20th century sounds inhumane. 

“Are these real stories?” 

“Yeah. And the cannon: they rocketed people from this very bad boy,” he points at it before standing under.

Your stomach sinks as you panic, “It could fall on you!” You pull at his hand and the force makes your chests meet. He smiles down at you before pecking your lips. You stammer, a little mad as he chuckles before walking to a wooden wheel. He makes a star pose after stepping on the metal stand, stretching out his limbs to fit the whole circle. 

“This was the Wheel of Death; they threw knives at targets on this. I think they only targeted females actually...” He nods at you to replace him as he hops off. You go along with his idea and climb on the stand, though it creaks weakly. He takes out a pocket knife from his pocket and you’re about to yell before he hurls it at you. It lands above your shoulder and you immediately scold, “What the fuck, Tae?! Why would you do that! I could’ve died.”

He shrugs with a bright grin, clearly unbothered by your stressing. “My aim isn’t too bad.” He walks over to you and collects his floating knife. “Besides, when have I ever hurt you?”

You bite your tongue and purse your lips with a glare. 

“See?” he whispers. “You can’t even name one time…”

He’s teasing your silence, how you can’t even dare to voice the specific night. You haven’t even told your parents and slept with him right after, and he finds that so interesting: that you trust him with your life. 

“You actually can’t? Wow, I didn’t realize I was such a good brother,” he grins lopsidedly before snapping his fingers. “On with the tour.” He is enthusiastic as he struts past the circus. You shake your head with a sigh but follow him regardless. “So there were sword swallowers, acrobats, strongmen, anything that drew attention. They had a shit ton of accidents and deaths, but you would die if you got boring as well.” Taehyung holds back a bush to let you pass; the place he’s leading you to is a lot more crowded with sages and trees than the previous path. “Once the initial attraction wears off, you’re a goner. They couldn’t survive in that society with those deformities, so it was suicide either way.”

“That is so cruel,” you mumble sympathetically. “This place was like a fractured fantasy.”

“At least they lived for a bit… up until someone ended it.” When he pushes away the woodruffs, you’re met with another rundown site with a few… cages? “This is the trailer. Where they stayed and got ready for their shows. Some were held against their will, and slept with the animals in those cages.”

You gape at your surroundings in shock. The trailer is missing one side of the wall, and the rest have been vandalized with random phrases written in spray paint. You don’t give much attention to the torture cages, because the trailer has a lot more to show. It still has couches on the incomplete hardwood flooring, and Taehyung plops on one. The fabric is torn and dust rises the moment he’s on the seat. “That’s so dirty, Tae,” you pull a displeased face.

“Don’t be rude to the past occupants. Their ghosts might still be around.” He wiggles his fingers as if imitating a monster. He then pats his thighs, beckoning you to sit on his lap. You begrudgingly do so, and he wraps his arms around your waist before pulling you flush against him. “Any theories on how this shitshow ended?”

“Police intervention?”

“Something like that, I guess. One of the acrobats went nuts and shot everyone, so the place was shut down.”

“What?” you widen your eyes at him. “Why did they do that?”

“He was going to be replaced, so he got rid of the competition. Very chilling,” he casually states. “There must be some bullet holes in the walls, but we can check that out later.” His head snuggles into your neck while you’re still processing his words, but you go blank when he starts leaving feather light kisses on your neck. “Right now,” he murmurs, “I just want you to ride me.”

“Ride you?”

“Don’t act innocent, you know what I mean. You said I could choose what we did today… and I want to fuck here.”

“Taehyung… I specifically told you we aren’t allowed to do anything sexual. You hurt me last time as well,” you frown at the mention. 

“I asked you if I ever hurt you earlier. Did you say anything?” he asks condescendingly.

“No…”

“Why are you saying I hurt you now? Don’t tell lies, baby. Besides,” his hand slides down to your thigh as he speaks in a low, sultry voice, “I’ve been loosening up your cunt. You don’t even wake up at night anymore. It won’t hurt this time, I promise.”

You had an inkling, the stupid inkling that you tried so damn hard to brush aside. “You fucked me in my sleep?” you force out, your mouth suddenly feeling dry. “And you brought me here just to–”

“Christ, no,” he cuts you off offendedly, “I’m not that sick in the head. I didn’t plan it, but I can’t say I wasn’t hoping. It’s not like I’m going to rape you.”

“You did it once!”

“I was on a lot of drugs then! I’m clean now,” he huffs in irritation. “I’m sorry about that, and I know my apology is long overdue or whatever, but give me a break. I’ve been into you since I was like 16.”

You turn to look at him - really look at him. There’s not a trace of guilt on his face; the roots of his messy teal hair have grown out; the beauty of his naturally downward lip corners; you don’t know what to think. Your mind is a mess because you don’t know what to make of his confession. He has manipulated you countless times, coerced you into doing things you would never do, and for once you reflect on his personality. This could be one of his schemes in order to get you to do what he wants, and ironically, he was supposed to be doing that for you. Through all of your scrambled thoughts, you only muster a meek “really?”

“Yes,” he affirms, “that’s why I want to be intimate with you.”

Lies, lies, lies, you think before gently pressing your lips against his. Despite your attempt at kissing him softly, he doesn’t cooperate by instantly sucking on your nether lip with vigor, his hands immediately meeting at your hips to gently rock them against his crotch. He bites your lip before swiping his tongue against it, coaxing, “Suck on my tongue.” The awkward angle from where you’re kissing him makes him turn your body to completely face him, your knees landing on either side of him on the uncomfortable chair. It doesn’t matter, because you’re starting to forget the whole setting, just about everything except for him as arousal begins to seep in. Heat pools in your stomach at the switch in mood, and he’s enjoying your compliance as he quietly moans into your mouth. 

While you’re busy relishing in his swirling tongue, he starts tugging down your pants and you help him without looking. You sit up to push it down your ankles and throw it on the floor along with your panties. “What’s gotten into you?” he chuckles breathlessly before leaving wet kisses on your lips and pulling away to take off his wrinkled shirt. 

“What do you mean?” you ask, equally breathless.

“I don’t know, you’re just… so hot when you’re horny.” His boyish smile grows on your flustered face as he says, “Take off your shirt. Wanna see those pretty tits again.”

You bite your lip to suppress your insecurities, but it doesn’t help when you’re left in your bra as you cover your chest. “Don’t be shy now,” he teases knowingly and removes your arms before unclasping the garment. “Take out my cock now.” His tone is gentle with encouragement. You unzip his jeans timidly, but your eyes grow in wonder at the outline of his erection. “I’m so hard for you,” he assures you in a whisper and takes your hand in his to rub himself. “You’re so pretty, and sexy. I fucked you every night because you’re just so irresistible. You understand, don’t you, baby?” 

“I… Yes,” you agree and finally push down his briefs. His throbbing cock stands proudly and you’re intimidated by the size until he murmurs, “I won’t hurt you.” He lightly touches your bare pussy, slick with your arousal as you shudder. He coats your vulva with all of it, giving special attention to your clenching hole as he inserts a single finger. “Does it hurt?”

You shake your head, and you’re confused by the lack of pain and the desire for more. It feels good and that is a surprise for you as you sink down lower on his finger. He curls it, adds another finger and stretches your walls, emitting a moan out of you. You’re liking it, and you don’t know why; he was so cruel the last time that you were convinced something would go wrong now. Nothing does, and if anything, his fingers make you feel the best you have ever felt though it is not enough. “More,” you beg and he replaces his fingers by pulling you to the head of his cock. He’s staring right at you with hooded lids as he rubs it up and down, making you release a needy whimper. “Please, Taehyung.”

And like the slave he was meant to be, he shoves it in with a grunt. Your scream catches in your throat at the initial sting, but it’s worth it when he screws his eyes shut in pleasure and bites his lip to hold back a groan. He looks angelic under you, although he is anything but. You realize he is waiting for your cue to move, and it flutters your hearts because he is more attentive to you this time. Rather than letting him take the lead, you act on your instincts as you roll your hips. It’s unsteady at first, the foreign position making it difficult for you to adapt to so fast. His audible quick breaths encourage you to take your time in angling your pelvis comfortably, and when an involuntary moan leaves you, you place your hands on his shoulders before sticking to the current stance and going up and down on him. 

“Oh shit, you’re doing so well,” he praises you between gasps, supporting your body with his hands, “feels so fucking good. My good girl.”

It gets to your head, how much he’s enjoying your motions. He meets them with thrusts of his own, perfectly hitting your cervix and blinding you with pleasure. What is it that makes you feel so wonderful in this situation? Is it the touch, or the complimentary fact that you’re the only person Taehyung wouldn’t get bored of? 

Could it be that you’re two of the same?

Maybe he’s the one desperate to please you, you think as he massages your breasts, flicking your hard nipples with his thumbs so graciously. The eerie silence is broken by both of your loud moans, ecstasy sensually building up in knots in your stomachs. Sweat accumulates on your forehead, your hair sticking to your face but not hiding the sight of his erotic expression. You arch your back and grind down on him, and he’s limp on the loveseat as he takes all that you give him so submissively.

It’s your turn to use him, and you actually start understanding what makes him so rash and impulsive in hopes of receiving this amount of serotonin. It’s worth it, the release of control and morals to be with him. “Taehyung, h-how did you do it?” you moan. “Every night, what did you do?”

“I,” he tries to catch his breath, “I used my fingers to stretch you out. One finger, then two, then three.” He groans and thrusts into you fast and hard, “I fisted you at some point, and you came in your sleep, and then on my cock. Moaning and whining every fucking night, like some filthy whore.” You mewl at his crude words. He’s so obscene with you, and you clench your walls in response. “You like being my whore, hm? Little freak.”

“Yes, yes,” you confirm in a whimper, nodding your head as you pass the dominance onto him. He’s fucking into you while you stand on your knees, eyes rolled back with drool about to drip from the corner of your mouth. He starts to rub your clit and kisses your neck for you to tighten around him over and over again; it’s heaven in an empty graveyard. It’s so fucked up, yet he can’t stop. You’re panting as he manipulates your body to mold with his. “I’m close.”

His hands fall on your ass, greedily kneading it as your hips begin to stutter, your orgasm climbing up just as your energy is falling down. It hits you like a truck: the peak of pleasure, accompanied by a silent scream, nails digging into his skin as your muscles tense. “Fuck,” you breathe once his thrusts begin overstimulating you, but it’s not for long as he shoots his load inside you with a groan. He’s twitching as his erection becomes flaccid, and you feel it as he pulls out. 

“Bet it didn’t hurt,” he jokes while you recover from your climax. You’re leaking with his cum and he uses his shirt to wipe you clean, making you shake from how sensitive you are. “I’ll buy you the pill on the way home.”

“Thanks,” you plainly say and stand up to pick up your clothes. You’re trembling slightly and a little achy, but it’s nothing compared to losing your virginity. 

“What? You gonna give me the cold shoulder now?” He’s only in his loose pants and has his shirt thrown over his shoulder. He buckles his belt while you put on your bra. 

“Why did you make us act like a couple in front of Namjoon?” After hearing his confession, the interaction before bugs you.

“What do you mean?”

“Is it because you didn’t want him to think I was single? Because you like me?”

“No, he’s a convicted felon. Crazy motherfucker killed his ex’s new boyfriend,” he reveals with a scoff. “Besides, if you like me, you’d like him as well.”

Putting your shock aside, you realize one thing: Taehyung doesn’t want to be replaced. Does that mean you hold power over him? Or will he do anything at any cost to be in your life?  Regardless of your internal monologue, you only reply with, “who says I like you?”

It’s a joke, and he knows it. As promised, he buys you an emergency pill and another shirt for himself on the way home. His days of slavery are over, and you wonder: where will he be tomorrow? Maybe take his father’s advice… 

[swinterr]

fic rec vii ♡

hi!

this is a another new set of fic rec and i’ll probably do a compilation of genre (?) just like the first ones.

read and support the fic and authors here: the fic rec ♡

made some changes like tidying up a bit and adding summary, for those that doesn’t have any summary i’ll try my best to add my own summary (it will probably be shit tho, i ain’t making a smut summary guys, i’m not confident in my describing a fic ability but i’ll try my best. if its in italic it means i made the summary hehez )  if the summary is shit, i made it okay.

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

// for series or list

kpop oc/s

1. jane by @baejiyeonz

2. bee by @purpleyellow

3. lian by @nct-lian

4. taehui by @jeontaehui

nct

sungchan

1. [10:47 pm] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam.

haechan

1. [5:21] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam.

2. you’re warm by @dreamystuffers | f

- a drunk hyuck can only mean a clingy hyuck.

3. you’re short too by @pastelsicheng | f

- 5 times hyuck teases u for ur height.

4. no title by @heychan | s 

- dirty thought cockwarming haechan and johnny comes in to the room while you are trying to hide it but haechan doesn’t care.

5. wishes by @lucaswithnoshirt | a f

- standing on stage is everything you’ve dreamed of. except in the time it’s taken you to get there, you’ve been dreaming about other things, too.

jaehyun

1. moving in: the series by @jaehyun-ified | f

- after agreeing to move-in with jaehyun, you decided to curate a little series on your channel to both give in to your viewer’s request to have jaehyun frequently on your contents and to document your moving in process with the love of you life.

2. [8:14 pm] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam. 

3. boyfriend by @simpsiren | a 

- a relationship with jaehyun wasn’t always perfect. there wasn’t a definite label on it, which only sent the relationship down a complicated pathway as we tried to find the meaning of our love once again.

4. best part by @okayoongii | f

- don’t know how to describe this tho, just read it. also 10/10

5. can i help you? by @sugarjaee | f s

- when working an extra long shift at work, your boyfriend surprises you with a visit.

6. stages of love by @biletdoux | a f s

- a playlist for the trials and tribulations of a beating heart. 

7. [9:04 am] by @jeongvision | // f

- domestic fluffy blurb. 10/10!!

8. suds by @kim-taehung | s

- first person to move does the dishes for a week. nothing is off-limits.

9. promise by @bvbyxuxi | f a

- jaehyun has loved you since you were both kids, things were going well until he messed everything up; meeting again as young adults, he refuses to let you go again but would you give him another chance?

mark

1. one minus on plus one by @wonjaekook | f a 

- in all of the years you’ve known jungwoo, you should have figured out to not take his words at face value because, though you haven’t even met, mark lee seems to hate your guts. 

2. [12:03] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam.

3. pretty boy by @epinebleue | f a

- fluff, the tiniest bit of angst, the reader is two years older than mark, jaehyun makes an appearance as the reader’s fuck buddy, use of alcohol and drugs (marijuana), mentions of violence (mark punches someone), smut (protected sex, inexperienced!mark, dry humping).

4. camera flash by @morkleemelon | f

- mark taking a picture but forgot to remove flash waking up oc, pretty fluffy and cute! 10/10!!!

5. retrouvailles by @kireimarkeu | f

- counting down the days until you finally see your long-distance boyfriend.

jungwoo

1. [1:14 pm] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam.

johnny

1. man-icure by @haejunehui | f

- based on jcc ep. 26

taeyong

1. reverb by @lovingonrepeat | s

- taeyong + studio sex. 

2. unspoken by @bvbyxuxi | f s 

- you had never thought to see taeyong again after your one night stand with him until this year where he takes you by surprise; turns out he wasn’t the guy you sought him out to be after all.

ten

1. [2:32 pm] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam.

lucas

1. [4:31 pm] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam.

2. king of hearts by @raibebe | f s a

- a little bit of everything, a chef’s kiss. 

yuta

1. [5:51 pm ] by @dont-look-down-on-me | f

- based on the nct relay cam.

doyoung 

1. redamancy by @heavenlyhaechan | f

- this is just so fluffy! i wished to be doyong gf please. 

2. fools together by @yongiefilms | f

- two fools in love with each other? 

3. acedia by @jaeminscoffee | f

- a day in the life of yours and doyoung's love life.

4. our little secret by @haejunehui | f

- read to know their little secret. hehe.

5. caught red handed by @hannie-dul-set | f

- all you wanted to do was take a picture of the handsome law student during your train ride home. you did not expect things to end up like this.

jeno

1. i see red by @0097linersb | s

- pure filth 🥵10/10 tho.

2. addiction by @love-mi | s f

- you and jeno keep your relationship a secret to avoid backlash from your companies and fans; but keeping himself away only makes him want you more.

3. surprise visit by @nakamotonudes | f s

- you hadn’t seen your boyfriend for over a month because of his hectic schedule so when he suddenly shows up at your place one night for a surprise visit, you both have to make every second worth it.

bts

jungkook

1. the pitter-patter of the heart by @koorara | f s a //

- pieces of newlywed domestic moments with jungkook, your husband. the young film and literature lecturer and his wife, you, who works as a journalist of a web magazine. both of you managing the career, the time for each other and the new house. not to forget, chip, the cat that has been with you for years. 

2. please love me by @ahundredtimesover | // f s a 

- as the only unmarried jeon and kim children, your families propose a union to symbolize your unbreakable bond that spans generations. but despite developing an affection for jungkook growing up, he never returned it; he never seemed to like you, actually. you’re okay with the proposal, but surprise surprise, he isn’t.

3. first love, last love by @floralseokjin | f s //

- a collection of drabbles following the longterm relationship between jungkook and you... 

4. second chances by @parkhabits | a s

- work. one of the most important things to him. It kept him company at night, it was all he thought about, all he put his attention to. his work had become the mistress within your marriage. years after you left him you’re back with only one goal in mind. get him to sign the damn divorce papers. yet you should’ve known that your husband wouldn’t let you go that easily. 

5. crush by @jungxk | f s 

- jungkook woke up with amnesia (?) he totally forgets that he has a wife and child. and he totally has a huge crush on his wife. 

6. bare necessities by @gguksgalaxy | f s a

- when you ask your boyfriend for a relaxing vacation you don’t exactly expect him to take you to disneyland out of all places. luckily, jungkook knows just how to get you to relax — being needy is definitely not the way. or is it…

7. krampus for christmas by @ddaenysus | f

- when your daughter overhears your nightly activities close to christmas, jungkook takes it upon himself to convince her it was the sounds of the legendary demon goat.

8. a date with destiny by @imjustfanfictrash | f s

- you are a boss lady in the tech industry traveling to world for work. he is a chart-topping artist touring the globe to perform in front of millions of fans. In the cosmos of life, you are not likely to cross paths. luckily, fate has a different plan for you two.

9. stranded by @gguksgalaxy | f s a

- jungkook’s offer to help you study for your exam is unwelcome. his entire presence is unwelcome. you don’t want help from the guy who passes all his classes without even trying. it’s annoying — he is annoying. from the way he grins whenever he catches you staring at him, to the way his eyes shine whenever he smiles at you. oh, and let’s not forget the way his tattoos shift when he stretches or the way his jawline sharpens when he’s focused. nope, you definitely can’t stand him.

10. sprout by @v-hope | f

- after a nice evening out with your friends, you find yourself coming home to your sleeping toddler and the new hairstyle she had tried on your husband.

11. friday nights and take-out by @ahundredtimesover | // f s a

- you meet pop star/idol jeon jungkook at the café, you get close, and as hyejin says, you’re like friends with benefits without the sex. but you’re bad at feelings and so is he.

12. jealousy by @ephemeralkookie | f s a

- jungkook’s closest friend, namjoon is getting married and he invited you three to his wedding. the only unexpected thing was jisoo, his ex, and we’ll just say that you were not too happy to see her flirting with your boyfriend right under your nose

13. a quarter past us by @jjiimin | f a

- when you break up with him out of fear of losing your freedom in university, he finds himself showing you why leaving him isn’t the answer. 

14. pretty boy by @angelguk | // f s a

- alternatively known as the jock!jk universe drabbles in vague chronological order. 

15. summer solstice by @boulevardk | s

- down on your luck and desperate for a successful harvest, you pray to the gods. you figure no one in heaven was listening to your prayers when nothing happens immediately. but one fateful night, your prayers are answered. are you willing to pay the price? the sacrifice might not be what you were expecting….

16. lilac wisteria by @blushoseoks | f a 

- over the years, things change - but the one constant is your love for lilac wisterias.…okay, maybe jungkook’s been there too.or, alternatively:the first time jeon jungkook says that he is going to marry you, you are five years old sitting underneath a large wisteria tree.

17. obsessed with your ass by @kooklovesu | f s 

- jungkook has an obsession with your body he cant get enough of praising you. he wasn’t comfy showing the world his affection towards you in public because he’s a private guy, but when he finally did, good luck.

18. from home by @gyukult | // f s a

- jungkook is the youngest of five boys, the last in line to truly inherit any his parents’ money. but what if his mom suddenly cuts him off due to his current poor behavior and he’s forced to learn how it feels like to be part of the working class?

19. black card by @minsprings | // f s

- black card fic and drabbles, also a chef’s kiss.

20. oh my god, they were (quarantined) roommates by @ot7always | f s

- what do you do when you’re quarantined for months on end with jeon jungkook - s tier cuddler, workout robot, and thirst trap extraordinaire? fuck him, you guess.

21. let the games begin by @venusiangguk | s

- just another fic where oc rides jk in his gaming chair pls still read it tho lmao its hot i promise

22. the probability of us by @jiminrings | f s

- jungkook’s the son of the university’s president, y/n’s cardigan is everyone’s favorite, and adjacent walls mean shared victories. 

23. open when by @iluv-hobi | f

- jungkook likes to write letters to you, especially ones with purposes, like “open when ___”. one day, on a particularly bad day, you open, “open when you’ve had a shitty day”. 

24. good day by @ilikemesometaetaes | f s

- his motive was made quite clear once he called you out of work. he just wanted to spend a nice day with his girlfriend. is that too much to ask for?

25. calculated by @whatifyoulivelikethat | // s 

- some people would call you far too serious. some would call you stuck-up. and some would call you a bitch. but to freshman jeon jungkook, you’re the head calculus I TA noona  – and he’s determined to fuck you.

26. brat taming by @sugasbabiie | s a f

- jungkook has been your roommate for almost a year. since the day he moved in he has acted like nothing but a spoiled little brat who is used to getting anything and anyone he wants. he eats your food, he doesn’t clean, he’s loud, oh and now he has colored his hair the exact shade of blonde as you. He’ll do anything to get under your skin. you’ve had enough of his filthy mouth and his fuckboy ways. it’s time to tame that bratty little roommate of yours. think you can handle it?

27. sugarplum energy by @bymoonchild | f s a

- you know no bounds nor depth with jungkook. while your fuck buddy loves sleeping in your bed and doing laundry for you with his favourite fabric softener, you are in love with a mysterious honeyed, velvety voice on soundcloud. all’s fine, until you find out that the voice that metaphors your heart to a sweet sugarplum melody actually belongs to the boy who has been taking up a special spot in your bed and in your heart, strumming at your heartstrings all this while. or, jungkook has one braincell, but it’s heart-shaped.

28. ancient history by @moononthejoon | a s f

- there is no way to deny that you and jungkook have chemistry. the two of you used to be a couple, after all. what happens when after a not-so-amicable breakup the two of you are cast as opposite leads of a movie?

29. that’s not daddy by @nochuobsessed | f

- jungkook comes home with a new hair color and his sons can’t tell if he’s appa or not. pretty cute! 10/10

30. no title by @himbojk | s

- jk got a blowie from his oc while on a zoom class meeting, like cam on with a whole set up but his oc under the table sucking the life out of him while he sits and tries to take notes .

31. dilf jk by @himbojk | // s f

- dilf jk drabbles.

32. no title by @himbojk | s

- blond jk with full tattoo sleeve who looks like the baddest boy but is actually baby and just wants a handie in the library while studying with his oc because she aspires to have those high grades. 

33. no title by @noteguk | s

- bf!jungkook going down on the reader while they watch anime.

34. silent treatment by @blu-joons | f

- baby kook asking daddy kook to say sorry to mommy. 10/10 too!

35. getting railed by @dearlytea | s

- getting dicked by your boyfriend during a train ride.

36. the view by @koyamuses | s

- jungkook knows exactly what turns you on; every kink, every dirty fantasy that’s buried deep within your mind. he knows exactly how to make you beg for it.

37. let’s play: dirty by @jungkxook | f s

- on today’s stream, watch as the king of gaming jeon jungkook gets totally pwned by some newbie player on overwatch (he swears he was stream sniped)! to make matters worse, he can’t seem to focus anymore when you’re in the room but he promises that’s not because he’s in love with you or anything. use code ‘jungkook’ on any game purchase through steam at checkout for 25% off so that jungkook has something to feel better about! iloveyou btw!

38. more dilf!jk by @cutechim | s

- oc thirsting over jk, talk about finances, jungwoo is an innocent cock-block as infants are, disrespect towards a major film franchise. 

39. you are inherently beautiful by @ggukachuwu | f a

- when y/n and jungkook accidentally reveal their relationship to the public because she walked in on him doing a vlive and now netizens and kmedia are tearing apart her appearance because y/n is chubby from struggling with pcos. jungkook takes it upon himself to cheer her up because he absolutely adores her.

40. morning with jk by @min-arya | f

- jungkook drabble of him catching his s/o admiring him in the morning with soft sleepy cuddles.

41. even a forest fire dies out by @9uk | a s

- it became from “grab a coffee with me?” to “why should I grab a coffee with you?” too fast for your liking. you had thought the both of you were so in love with each other—only to realise it was only you who had fallen into this trap of feelings. and as for jungkook, he might have just been as confused as you are.

42. all that we had by @starlightauroras-writes | a s

- four years, two months and five days ago, you lost the love of your life with no explanation. living with a failed marriage at such a young age without knowing why was impossibly hard, and when you’re invited to your high school reunion, knowing he would be there, you really don’t want to go. what happens when you do leaves you questioning fate. 

43. aquarium by @whatifyoulivelikethat | // a

- life after jeon jungkook was grey. you had to find your own color, grow your own rainbow. but what would surprise you the most is the appearance of white cosmos, seven of them clutched tightly in kim taehyung’s hand.

44. contentment by @btsqualityy | f s 

- oc’s using jk’s card to buy rug and the rest is history. 10/10!!

45. heartbreaker with a heart of gold by  @filmflowersbangtan | a s

- love this!!! you know i love me some angst! 10/10!!!!!

46. the ikea test by @mercurygguk | f

- you and jeongguk face the IKEA test. successfully? sure!

47. before you universe by @ephemeralkookie | // a f s

- jungkook has taken a huge place in your life after he tattooed you, and you can’t even picture how life was before him. he has always been there for you since day one. but how will things change after you find out you’re pregnant?  

48. christmas cream(pie) by @smoochkooks | s f

-  a day before christmas dinner with your boyfriend’s parents, you discover another alternative way to use the chocolate cream you’re making. jungkook is more than willing to indulge in your little fantasy.

49. last minute by @moononthejoon | f s

- christmas day had gone by, and now you were back home after holidays with your family. your friends had agreed to have a late christmas party, but as always, you and jungkook procrastinated gift buying.

50. you go in knowing bros together by @blu-joons | f

- a cute fluffy knowing at knowing bros moment. 

51. no title by @v-hope | f

- the way y/n would react when someone else flirts with jk and how he’d handle the situation.

52. hair dye by @mercurygguk | f s

- jungkook got his hair dyed while at work. you lose your mind the moment he steps through the door.

53. stay gold by @yeojaa | s

- blond!jk being a good boy?

54. crystal snow by @honeyj00ns | f

- when you join Jungkook and the rest of the guys for some fun in the snow, he can’t help but feel jealous.

55. 6:21 am by @sincerelyourfangirl | f

- in which he makes your morning extra special.

56. plan b by @btsracket | s

- dressing room quickie, unprotected sex request, use of Plan b pill

57. possession by @bngtanah | s

- jungkook is your boyfriend, sometimes you have to remind him what that means.

58. puffs and touches by @mintseesaw | f s

- “Stop doing that with your face, someone else is going to snatch you up”

59. the quiet things by @btsracket | s

- sleeping bag sex.

60. good boy by @ephemeralkookie | s

- secret, read to find out AHAHAHHA.

61. make it right by @jungkxook | a s

- you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because it’s been almost a year since you broke up with him. worst part of it all is that you know he’s still in love with you too

62. it takes two by @junghelioseok | s

- struggling with the idea of your ex-boyfriend moving on, you enlist the help of your quiet roommate in a scheme that quickly spirals out of control.

jimin

1. picking petals by @cutechim | s 

- you asked for a baby, so a baby is what you’re going to get. 

taehyung

1. daddy by @btsracket | f s 

- there’s only one choice when this happens on a date out.

2. love me or we both go down by @gukyi | f s a

- after going through with an arranged marriage to please his parents and secure his inheritance of the family business, kim taehyung thinks he’s got it all figured out. he doesn’t. apparently just being married to you isn’t enough, not when everybody and their mother can pick up on the fact that the two of you absolutely loathe each other. but taehyung wants his inheritance one way or another, so he decides that desperate times call for desperate measures: the two of you need to fall in love, and you need to fall in love fast.

3. saudade by @jiminssthetic | a s f

- a demanding idol lifestyle was something taehyung and yourself were all too familiar with. it wasn’t so hard when considering your unconditional love for one another, but lately, taehyung wasn’t the same anymore; and you decide it’s time to find out why.

4. ineffable by @99liners | f

- boyfriend taehyung takes care of his sick s/o.

5. tease by @caiuscassiuss | s

- you knew you were hot. you saw how the guys looked at you, how their eyes were drawn to a tight t-shirt or short skirt. and maybe this would fail epically—crash and burn like a failed experiment—but you wanted to get under kim taehyung’s skin the only way you knew how.

6. aquarium by @whatifyoulivelikethat | // a

- life after jeon jungkook was grey. you had to find your own color, grow your own rainbow. but what would surprise you the most is the appearance of white cosmos, seven of them clutched tightly in kim taehyung’s hand.

got7

yugyeom

1. yugyeom as you boyfriend by @sunshinekookie | f

- i need more yugyeom fics in my life.

astro

eunwoo

1. rainy say saviour by @imsarahbum | f a

- upon seeing you getting bullied after school for being short, dongmin can’t help but step in and defend you - despite both of you not really knowing anything about each other.

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work and i labelled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

support the fic and the writers!

[guzhuangheaven]

Guzhuang Appreciation Month: badass dialogues

(but in the novel)

legend of ruyi :: ep 5 // ep 78

This drama is so amazing, demonstrated by these two scenes. Here you have Ruyi and Hongli watching the same play at two different stages in their lives. In episode 5, they are still clearly in love and are happy watching the play together, leaning lovingly against each other and moving in unison as one. They are also being watched fondly by Aruo, who has yet to have ideas of betraying Ruyi. Many years later, in episode 78, we have Ruyi and Hongli watching the same play, but they are physically far apart and their emotional distance from each other is also clear on their faces. They are literally being divided by the presence of Ling Yunche standing between them.

I find the parallel between the closeups of Aruo and Ling Yunche the most heartbreaking, because Aruo, despite how happy she looks for them in ep 5, would eventually try to break Ruyi and Hongli apart. And yet for all her efforts, she never succeeds because Hongli never actually believes her. On the other hand, Ling Yunche never tries to get in between Ruyi and Hongli, but just the mere presence of him is enough for Hongli to drive a wedge between himself and Ruyi. The presence of Aruo and Ling Yunche in this scene drives home the stark contrast in how the relationship has deteriorated between Ruyi and Hongli, and how Hongli went from trusting Ruyi despite all evidence against her to believing the worst of her despite no real evidence. 

What is even more heartbreaking is the play they are watching. It’s not made very clear in the drama, but the plot of the play has great significance in the novel. The play they are watching is called 墙头马上 / Over the Wall and Atop a Horse. The play is based on the poem 井底引银瓶 Silver Vase at the Bottom of the Well by Bai Juyi.

The poem by Bai Juyi, writes of a broken relationship/friendship where two people once lived happily in harmony, then one person wronged the other, causing the other person to leave and never come back; the relationship is thus severed. 

When the poem was adapted into the play 墙头马上 / Over the Wall and Atop a Horse, the play tells the story of Pei Shaojun falling in love at first sight with Li Qianjin when she was standing by a wall and he was on a horse riding by her house. The two then eloped, and lived together for seven years, having two children together, before they were discovered by Pei Shaojun’s father. Upon the discovery, Li Qianjin was condemned for getting into a clandestine relationship and Pei Shaojun caved to parental pressure and divorced her. She went back to her hometown. Many years later, after having achieved political success, Pei Shaojun went looking for Li Qianjin again, and just happened to discover that the two of them were actually engaged as children. In the play, they then reunited, got remarried and lived happily ever after.

There is however a plot point in the Ruyi novel, where Qingying does not like the ending of the play, feeling that the happy ending was forced. In the novel, Hongli and Qingying only know each other in passing at first. Then on the day that Hongli chooses his wives, Qingying is made to attend by her aunt. Before the selection ceremony, everyone is invited to watch a play, and Hongli chooses Over the Wall and Atop a Horse. Qingying, because she dislikes the happy ending, asks the theatre troupe to change the ending of the play so that in the end, Li Qianjin does not actually get back together with Pei Shaojun but stays firm in her resolve to end the relationship between them. After the play ends, Qingying leaves before the selection, but Hongli becomes intrigued by her changed ending and chases after her. This conversation below ensues, in which you can see clearly how Qingying’s belief on the matter stayed constant with her through the years. In fact, she practically predicts her own fate later with her changed ending.

~*~

Qingying stepped lightly ahead, her gown fluttering in the breeze like a white butterfly in flight. Aruo’s face was robbed of all colour and she was crying in despair. “Gege, what is wrong with you? Everything was well, why did you change the ending of the play? If Huang Hou Niang Niang hears about it, what will you do?”

Qingying shrugged. “At most, Aunt will just scold me a little. I just don’t like that ending. Today, I finally got to see how it should be played out. I’m so happy!”

“Gege might be happy,” Aruo said miserably, “but today is the consort selection. If Gege you are not chosen, then what would we do?”

Qingying’s aunt had already intended her to be the Third Prince’s bride, and now that was not successful, she should be pushed to the Fourth Prince instead? If they needed this one forced marriage to prolong their family’s glory, would that mean all women of the Ulanara clan were little better than slaves? It would be better this way. Regardless of whether she succeeded at being chosen to be a prince’s consort or not, she got to see things done her way, for once.  

She only managed a few steps more when suddenly a voice called behind her. “Qingying Meimei!”

No one had ever called her that before. Everyone in the palace simply called her “Qingying Gege”. Curious, she turned her head to find that Hongli was chasing after her.

Thinking that he must wish to reprimand her, Qingying made herself as small as possible.

Hongli only laughed. “I chased after you to comfort you. Xiyue Gege was rude in speech, I feared that you would be offended.”

“Offended? About what?” Qingying asked in a low voice. “Fourth Prince, do you mean to mention the fact that I was rejected by the Third Prince?”

Hongli nodded, frowning. “I only fear such talk will destroy your reputation.”

Qingying laughed, all her teeth showing, against all rules of decorum, which seemed to astonish Hongli.

“I don’t care!” she declared. “There are many things that women can’t necessarily decide for themselves, such as marriage, or family. But at least, I can decide whether to mind those mocking talks, whether to care about them and let them hurt me.”

Hongli looked sad for a moment, whispering, “Your family…” But then he trailed off. Then, with a humourless smile, he said, “Over the Wall and Atop a Horse is the play I chose myself, why did you not like the ending and asked them to change it? I pick a plum blossom, lean against the wall. / You ride off among the bending poplars*. Is that not a lovely image?”

“Yes, it is very nice, it’s just…” Qingying thought a moment then said, “Over the wall and atop a horse we gaze at each other. / I know you, too, must be heartbroken*. From this beginning, the play is full of conflicts, ups and downs, all very compelling, yet in the end, there is a forced happy ending, everyone is forced to be happy, I really don’t like it at all.”

[* excerpts from the poem by Bai Juyi]

Hongli looked displeased, asking, “To be able to mend a broken mirror, husband and wife reunited and at peace again, is that not good?”

“When Li Qianjin was being insulted by Pei Shaojun’s parents, he did not protect her. He watched her leave in humiliation and did not stop her, as if all the love and years they shared did not matter. Such a heartless and weak man who dares not protect his woman, why would Li Qianjin want to get back together with him?”

Her voice was soft, but also full of conviction. Even though it went against Hongli’s beliefs, he wanted to keep her talking.

“To be reunited and together in harmony is the wishes of all families on earth. If Pei Shaojun is willing to start over, why would Li Qianjin not forgive him?”

“Why must a woman always forgive a man for his failings? Wouldn’t that teach the man that it doesn’t matter what hurt he causes? I don’t care, if he hurt her, she shouldn’t forgive him.”

“Women must be soft and gentle, and give into her husband. If she sacrifices a little, bears a little hurt feeling, they can be reunited, isn’t that happiness?”

“If she must be hurt, must sacrifice herself for this forced reunion, then it is already not a good marriage,” Qingying said stubbornly. “In my eyes, Li Qianjin is a woman who is willing to walk away, to severe the relationship, because all trust is gone.”

“If she walks away, wouldn’t that mean she spends the rest of her life alone? Everyone has their own difficult moments, if Li Qianjin is so stubborn, Pei Shaojun is put in a difficult position too.”

“Who isn’t in a difficult position?” Qingying asked. “If the woman can understand the man’s difficulties, can a man not understand a woman’s pain of being cast aside and humiliated?”

Hongli thought for a moment then laughed. “Qingying Meimei, you are much too unbending.”

Qingying merely nodded. “It’s better to live the rest of your life alone, rather than live to old age with someone who already betrayed you once. So it might be harmonious today, but if a conflict arises, what is to say Pei Shaojun will not just forsake Li Qianjin again? It is easy to change mountains**, that is the principle here.”

[** there is a Chinese saying that it is easier to change the course of rivers and shapes of mountains than to change the character of a person… aka old habits die hard but with more stakes.]

Hongli still did not agree with her logic. “Women should place obedience before all and be pliable. If she does not restrain herself and be more accepting for the greater good, then she would just suffer.”

“If one must accept being humiliated for a so-called happy ending, then I don’t want that kind of happy ending,” Qingying repeated.

“Then is Over the wall and atop a horse we gaze at each other so easily forgotten?” Hongli asked, astonished.

Qingyin turned and stared at Hongli. “If it is not easily forgotten, then why didn’t Pei Shaojun protect Li Qianjin? Hasn’t he too forgotten how they once loved each other when he cast her aside?”

Hongli could not argue against her, and finally admitted defeat. “Meimei, you really are something, I don’t know what else to say.”

Qingying laughed in delight.

“Meimei,” Hongli said, stepping closer to her, “you argued so animatedly, you must love Over the Wall and Atop a Horse. Why don’t we go back and hear the play again?”

Qingying hesitated, thinking that it would be a great loss of face if she were to return now. But Hongli was looking at her so earnestly, she found it hard to immediately refuse.

“I’ll go back first, and prepare good tea to wait for you.”

He said ‘wait’, as if he would not move the day along if she did not come. Her heart softened, and she suddenly stopped in her path.

…

[And then of course Qingying comes back to attend the selection. Hongli, who had originally intended to choose Langhua, changes his mind and chose Qingying to be his di fujin, but then Yongzheng interfered and put a stop to it… But the play is one massive foreshadowing plot device that doesn’t get explained much in the drama, but packs a punch when you read this scene.] -h

[adonis-koo]

tease

| 19 |

↳ Summary: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb.

↳ Pairing: Stripper!Jungkook/Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, drama, slice of life, relationship problems without the relationship, reader is such a shy baby protect her, MUTUAL pining, so much sexual frustration,

Word Count: 11k

Previous | Next

Song Mood

Warning: This story touches on both sexual harassment and abuse, please read with caution if any of these things are triggers to you. Additional warnings will be given when a chapter presents them.

Music gently echoed through the living room and the smell of jasmine wafted in the air mixed with the smell of fresh rain from the open windows. Your home hadn’t changed much in your week-long absence yet you on the other hand felt...different. Not a bad difference, or a good one. It was just hard to believe you were home again. 

The plane ride was over fourteen hours and it gave you and Jungkook a very long time to talk about what had happened throughout the week at Seasonella and of course the afterparty....which you couldn’t help but cringe at, thoughts filtered your mind as to what had even possessed you to do that with Jimin? You had apologized relentlessly to Jungkook when you realized just how inconsiderate you had been, no matter how much he kept trying to play it off.

The more you thought about it the more you felt even worse, no matter how much Jungkook tried to tell you it was fine, because it wasn’t fine, especially when he admitted at first, he did feel hurt watching you do that after he had opened up about it. Not only this but Jungkook had confessed it was difficult to even admit in the first place. 

You could tell he was seemingly at war with himself internally and was holding back some of his own feelings still, but you wanted him to take his time and open up when he was ready too.

Moving the books off the shelf you began to dust it down as you sighed. Jungkook had gone on to explain that he wasn’t hurt by the action anymore, in fact, he had only felt hurt for a very brief moment before realizing what you were doing was, how he interpreted it, a challenge to his authority in your relationship. 

At the very least you were relieved he interpreted like that rather than you just being an inconsiderate ass to his feelings, which is how you felt about it, even though in those moments it hadn’t been your intentions as all and you secretly vowed you would never do again, Jungkook more than anyone, didn’t deserve that. You never wanted Jungkook to feel like he couldn’t open up and be honest with you with no judgement at all. 

With that all being taken into consideration you told him every little bit on how you felt and of course apologized for minimizing his feelings about what could have been possible with Jimin, which he had accepted. And in the end Jungkook had simply asked to just let you both move past this and last what had happened in Vegas, stay in Vegas.

Jungkook had asked though, if it was okay to drop you off at your apartment once you got in, as he wanted some time to himself.

Which is why you were here alone, but the decision was mutually agreed upon. Being alone was giving you a lot of time to think over all of your actions throughout the week and with each memory you couldn’t help but berate yourself over...well everything, what had come over you...? You sighed as you thought about Seulgi’s message and what she had said the night you had been prepping to go on stage….maybe...maybe she was on to something. You frowned as you checked your phone.

Jungkook was supposed to come over in the morning with the pregnancy test but....maybe you just had a lot of PMS? 

Sitting down on the couch you let out a brief dry laugh, wouldn’t that be ironic? Everyone freaking out about you being pregnant for the past week only for you to be PMSing. It would explain why you had been so emotionally charged the whole week…

Your emotions, specifically anger, were always heightened when you were a week away from your period and it always led to you doing and saying things you typically wouldn’t. You certainly weren’t looking for an excuse as much as an explanation for how things unfolded the way they had. 

Once again, you weren’t late for your period, so the idea of being pregnant was possible, but a slim chance. You sighed as you laid down on the couch, could you really be pregnant….? You didn’t even wanna think about it. You didn’t feel pregnant, no matter how ludicrous that sounded, you didn’t and if you were...Your head was fuzzy and you knew the timing wasn’t right, but you also felt conflicted…

You knew Jungkook would stay no matter what but...being possibly pregnant meant having to tell Jimin and if it was his...You rubbed your head as you felt a whine escape you, your eyes nearly blurring from just the stress of thinking about it because truthfully...You didn’t want to have a baby if it meant this much stress in your life.

Rain pattered against the windows as you rubbed your head, no longer wanting to think about the possible future that was nobody’s fault except your own. It was nearing ten PM and you were beginning to feel the jet lag of the plane ride as you stretched out with a soft sigh, what good would overthinking do you anyways? 

You wouldn’t deny you somewhat missed Jungkook’s presence, you’d probably be curled up against him right now in front of the TV. But having some alone time was good, it was healthy. And god knew you both needed a little bit of that. Or maybe just you so it seemed these days…

Walking to your bedroom with a yawn you changed into some comfy pajamas before curling up in bed, your mind beginning to calm as rain poured outside. If anything being back home makes you feel more grounded. Jungkook has done leaps and bounds in changing for the better, you’d do the same if not for yourself then for him. Being back home, it’ll be like a new start. 

Groaning your eyes cracked open, your alarm clock blinking at four in the morning as the bed shifted making you roll over, arms wrapping around you as you squirmed, nearly jolting right up, “Easy baby.” A deep voice murmured making you sigh in relief, rubbing your eyes as you mumbled, “Jungkook? What are you doing here?” It was so late at night, didn’t he want the day to himself?

You couldn’t see his face and your eyes were too tired to keep them open but you knew it was him by his hands and voice, he shifted once more to get comfortable. Obviously letting himself in with the spare key he knew was above your door.

“Couldn’t sleep.” He mumbled against your hair, it was his voice that made you force your eyes back open shifting a little away from him to try and get a look at his face. It was his voice, that sounded...docile? Maybe a little shy? 

You could tell it wasn’t just a regular insomniac night, “You wanna talk about it?” You asked delicately with a frown, reaching out your hand to run through his hair, soft sigh escaping him as he melted into your touch, shaking his head as you frowned, “Alright it’s okay, c’mere.” Jungkook scooted in, letting his head press against your chest, his arms loosely wrapping around your waist. 

His muscles relaxed as your fingers tenderly stroked through his hair as your eyes closed once more, it seemed like a light switch, whatever difficulty he had going to sleep was gone and quickly replaced with him nearly rolling on top of you in his sleep. Yawning it didn’t take long for you to drift off to sleep either. 

…

Pain, no not pain. It was more like a dull ache as you groaned, eyes cracking open to sunlight streaming in and...When did Jungkook get here? His body was on top of yours, nearly crushing you as you wheezed. Memories of last night began to surface as you sighed softly with a frown as you rubbed your eyes, did he have a nightmare? 

It was hard to ruminate when you felt another dull ache in your stomach and something uncomfortably wet against your underwear, “Ah...Jungkook, hey sleepyhead. C’mon, wake up.” Ignoring it temporarily you whispered as you shook him, you wouldn’t care about him sleeping on top of you if you didn’t feel like absolute crap. Your head began to throb and it felt like your body was drained of all energy. 

“Mm mornin’ ba’girl.” Jungkook’s words were slurred and deep as he rolled off of you, stretching out as he let his hands rest above his head. Eyes still closed as you let out a silent breath in relief. Not nearly as uncomfortable as before as you rubbed your eyes before realization dawned on you. 

Jungkook looked like a disturbed cat when the bed suddenly bounced at your jolt. 

Opening his eyes he pressed his brows together in confusion as he frowned, watching you scramble out of bed while swearing up a storm, that was unusual. Sitting up right he yawned as he rubbed his eyes, mild concern washing over him, were you okay? Was the baby okay? He had never seen you jump out of bed so fast...Well okay he had seen you do it a few times when you were hung over but…

You trudged out of the bathroom and he could immediately sense annoyance on your face as you sighed, unable to look at him as you opened your dresser drawer, “You good baby?” Jungkook frowned in confusion. 

“Well I’m definitely not pregnant.” You mumbled grabbing a new pair of panties, bland and black, comfortable and above all else not cute. You turned to face him as you frowned, Jungkook seemed...frozen almost, like he was still processing your words, “Oh…” Was all he said. 

Your once annoyed expression at your ruined panties softened at the tone of his voice, tilting your head in confusion and you intended on asking him if he was okay until you felt another drop of wetness against your ruined underwear. 

Knowing it would be better to freshen up first you gave him a moment to himself before quickly heading for the bathroom you changed yourself and freshen up a little before making your way out of the bathroom. 

Jungkook was laying back down, staring up at the ceiling blankly as you sighed softly a small frown forming on your face as you crawled onto the bed ignoring the dull ache in your stomach as you spoke, “Jungkook?” He hummed as he closed his eyes, as if he didn’t want to see your face, this in it’s self made your lips quiver a little before curling up beside him you reached out as you let your fingers run along his jawline as you asked gently, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah...I’m great!” Jungkook tried to make his tone peppy, a painfully obvious forced smile on his face as he turned to look at you trying his best to look happy, “I mean, you’re not pregnant so…! That’s great, it’s- it’s good.” His smile faltered as he sighed as if not having the energy to fully commit the clear lie he was telling, turning to look back up at the ceiling as soon as he noticed your expression unmoving.

Your expression was soft as you frowned a little as you scooted up against his side, “Jungkook…” You mumbled, glancing at his somewhat melancholy demeanor in worry, you understood he was the one that firmly believed you were pregnant so you weren’t fully surprised to see his somewhat downcast demeanor but it still worried you nonetheless, “You don’t have to lie, what’s wrong?” He shifted a little, somewhat uneasy at first as he sighed, bringing his hands up to his eyes as he rubbed them.

“I just…” He paused somewhat hesitant before mumbling, “I was so sure you were pregnant...Is it...is it bad I was hoping you were…?” His voice sounded small as he coughed suddenly rushing, “I mean like I said! It’s good you aren’t, we just got into a relationship and we couldn’t really have a baby or afford to have one right now and we’re both still in college and-” 

“Jungkook,” He paused at the sound of his name, unable to look at you as you felt a small smile tug on your lips, despite the sad tone of your eyes, “You're allowed to feel the way you do about it.” You could tell by the way he was acting he was obviously upset about it. Maybe upset wasn’t the right word, but he was certainly melancholy. 

He sighed as he closed his eyes once more, “I was so sure…Maybe I was just projecting, I don’t know.” 

“I don’t think you were projecting,” You spoke softly, letting your fingers tangle into his hair as you lifted up a little to press a kiss on his face, his nose scrunching as he cracked his eyes open to playfully squint at you. Snorting you couldn’t help but let a shy little smile tug on your lips as you pressed another kiss onto his nose before straddling his stomach to collapse on top of him, “I think,” You mumbled against his skin, “You had every right to be concerned. But pms symptoms and pregnancy symptoms are hard to tell apart.” 

He sighed as he wrapped his arms around you, “So the cravings, the mood swings, the head aches…? All just pms?” He sighed somewhat dramatically as he mumbled, “You’re kinda mean when you’re getting ready to start.” You couldn’t help but giggle as you shoved him a little, feeling somewhat flustered and embarrassed because he was right. You were absolutely mean. 

“I’m sorry again,” You mumbled somewhat shyly, nudging against the crook of his neck, “If I had been tracking a little better I could’ve given you a bit of a heads up.” 

Jungkook snorted as he pressed a kiss against your neck, “It was my fault I jumped to conclusions. You said it yourself you weren’t even late. I just got carried away at the idea of you being pregnant.”

“Nobody is at fault here Jungkook, everyone assumed I was pregnant, and for good reason I mean....I was just oblivious and hadn’t even gave it a single thought,” You lifted your head with a weak smile, you didn’t genuinely blame the group either as they only had your best intentions in mind, but really it was just another lesson of communication between you both.

You shifting against him a little as your gathered your thoughts before continuing, “It didn’t even cross either of our minds about pregnancy until they said something. I mean really, given what symptoms had shown up I know everyone only brought it up with our best intentions in mind but this kind of got blown out of proportion. It would’ve been one thing if my period was late, but I was still a week away from starting when they brought it up...”

Jungkook sighed before groaning, “Seriously. Still feel somewhat bad though, I don’t know. I really liked the idea of having a baby there for a second…God what have you done to me?” He joked a little, as if not wanting to linger on the topic seriously much longer making you smile somewhat bashfully as you rolled your eyes. 

You could feel your face becoming somewhat hot as you crawled a little closer to his face, feeling a wave of boldness enter you before leaning against his ear, “We could always still have a baby.” You immediately felt flushed as you tried to shy away but it was too late. 

Jungkook’s grip on your body already tightened and he effortlessly rolled your both over, “Is that so?” Jungkook nipped at your neck making you squeak, “You shouldn’t be saying that unless you’re ready to make it happen sweetheart.” His hands clamped your legs making you squeak as you scrambled. 

“No! No! No! There is BLOOD down there-” 

“What you think I’m scared of getting a little messy-” 

“That is disgusting!” 

Jungkook was howling against your stomach in laughter, was it your tone of voice? Was it how frantic you were to get away from him? Was it your expression? Maybe it was all three, whatever it was it knocked Jungkook out as he wheezed against you, “Alright, calm down baby I was joking.”

“But you were half serious weren’t you!” You scowled in embarrassment, feeling your face become hot and your ears burn as you squirmed to sit up as you glared at him. 

Jungkook looked up at you fondly, hands reaching up to smush your cheeks as he sighed, “Okay maybe a little-” 

“I knew it!” 

“But!” Jungkook cut you off, “You don’t seriously expect me to go seven days straight without being inside you right? Like I’ll wear a condom if it grosses you out but-” 

“We are not having period sex.” You were rapidly shaking your head as he whined against your thighs. Of course he was willing to get his dick messy if it meant cumming inside you. Why was he like this? “Jungkook…! I’ll give as much head as you want but we are not doing it inside me…!” 

“Why do you have to tease me like this, it's not fair baby!” Jungkook groaned as he rolled over, a snort escaping you at the sight of his half hard on, his eyes cutting into you with a sulky pout, “Don’t laugh at my semi boner! It’s your fault talking about wanting kids and shit.” 

Smiling you reached up to brush the hair out of his face as he huffed, “Jungkook,” You clacked your tongue, your smile becoming a little shy as you murmured, “I didn’t bring it up to give you a hard on. I just meant to say that, just because I’m not pregnant doesn’t mean we can’t have a baby in the future.” You glanced away feeling somewhat bashful as you mumbled, “When it’s planned and we’re both prepared for it...and maybe when we’ve been together a little longer. It’s not like we missed our only chance…” 

Jungkook sighed softly, a small smile tugging on his lips as he shrugged, “I know...I don’t know what my problem is. I guess I just, really liked the idea of having a family. I really was hoping you were pregnant.” He groaned as he stretched out, “I mean like I said, I do think it’s better this way. Your uterus saved us a lot of stress between having a baby and between us, and an awkward conversation with Jimin.” 

You winced at the sudden stabbing sensation in your stomach, a whine escaping you making Jungkook jump up immediately worry in his eyes as you waved your hand, “I’m good...just hurts...Anyways…” You wiggle around a little to get comfortable before offering him a small smile, “Like I said, it’s okay to feel sad about it. But remember what I said, we can always have a baby in the future. Maybe if we’re married,” You shifted as you gave a weak smile, “I don’t know how my parents would react if I got knocked up while we’re just a couple.” 

“Mm maybe we’ll test that out in a few months.” You rolled your eyes making him laugh as he sat up, pressing a kiss against your forehead as you winced once more, the pain becoming more prominent in your stomach, “Alright, I’m gonna go get you some pain killers then start on breakfast baby.” 

“Thank you.” You mumbled, lifting up a little to meet his lips as he gave you a quick kiss before you crumpled back against the bed. Pressing your brows together as you grabbed the pillow he had been previously sleeping on and cuddling it close as pain began to flush and throb harsher. 

You were relieved to find out you weren’t pregnant but dear jesus, at what cost?

You didn’t expect your relationship to change despite becoming officially girlfriend and boyfriend. Most people said it changed nothing. Feelings remained the same and so did the problems that seeped into your relationship over time. But...you couldn’t help but feel like things had changed. Even despite being back for a few days things seemed more….

Natural? Calm? You weren’t sure but you liked it. The once dramatic passion you craved in a relationship wasn’t your interest anymore. You found out, passion meant being emotionally charged, heartbroken, arguing and all of the above. But it wasn’t like that with Jungkook anymore. It felt like home. You loved it.

Coming back home to Korea felt like a second chance in a way, like you were coming back with a clean slate and a new start. That didn’t mean all of your problems were magically gone. But whatever happened in Vegas would stay there. You liked this. Holding Jungkook’s hand while he looked like there were stars in his eyes, excitement brimming at his seams as he tugged you along down the walking path. 

“Come on we’re almost there!” Jungkook looked like a little boy as he pulled you along in excitement making you giggle as you stumbled over your feet to catch up. He had been like this since you got back. You had been learning more about Jungkook in the past few days more than you had within the three months of knowing him. 

Particularly how he had a nice camera he loved scoping out in the early mornings and taking photography, he loved printing them out into polaroid photos and keeping them in photobooks, Jungkook had a real fondness for taking morning walks and finding new trails to walk down. You always assumed he was just extremely energetic but he was actually just a morning person. 

He hummed when he cooked and he wasn’t good with his spices but he was more than happy for your help in the kitchen, especially when you found out he can’t really cook, at all, but he’s always enthusiastic to learn. He seemed so open? Happy now? His eyes always had that look in them now, the same look you saw all those months ago outside the diner when he first met your parents. It was your favorite look. 

Trying to catch your breath Jungkook paused as he let go of your hand, letting out a content noise as you glanced up, “Oh wow…!” You were delighted to meet with the beautiful scenery of a stream trickling down against rocks that made it look like a little waterfall, light beams streaked through the lush flora and the wind made the branches sway so beautifully. Unable to keep the smile off your face as you glanced around, “It’s so beautiful here! Why isn’t this marked on the trail map?” 

Jungkook nearly beamed with pride like a little boy as he walked towards the stream, “Probably because they marked it off this trail,” He gave a somewhat sheepish smile as he rubbed the back of his neck, “But it’s a really good spot! It’s just hard to go any further from here because the woodland is so thick ahead.” 

“We aren’t trespassing, are we?” You bounced while wringing your hands nervously suddenly feeling concern wash over you making Jungkook laugh as you clenched your fists, huffing as a pout began to tug on your lips, “I don’t wanna get arrested Jungkook!” 

“Baby,” Jungkook tutted as he walked back over to you, pressing his hands on your cheeks before smushing them, practically beaming down at your pouty squished face, “Why do you always assume we’re gonna get arrested? For what it’s worth I never saw a ‘No Trespassing’ sign…” He snorted at your flailed arms as you and you stomped your foot, of course he’d say that!

“Fine, I guess as long as there aren't any signs…” You mumbled, still not completely sold as you glanced around, letting a small smile tug on your lips as you added shyly, “It is really pretty out here. I loved walking on the trails back at Kimhae, my dad use to show me what all of the shrubs were and he could spot a flower a mile- Hey!” You paused when you heard a click, whipping around to face Jungkook who was cheekily smiling, camera held up as you flusteredly flailed your hands, “Don’t take my picture! I’m not even dressed up!” 

“You always look good.” Jungkook flirted wrapping a hand around your waist as he tugged you closer. An embarrassed squeak escaped your lips, no matter how hard you tried a smile graced your lips as you let out a whine, pressing your hands to your face as Jungkook chuckled, “What? It’s the truth.” You could feel his warm breath against your neck before the invasion of kisses peppered against your skin, his thumbs rubbing against your waist as he hummed against your skin, “Sounds like you're close to your dad.” 

Wrapping your arms around his neck loosely you let out a breath in contentment as you nudged against his neck, looking at him with an endeared smile as you shrugged a little, “Yeah, I learned a lot about gardening and plants when I was younger, it was our thing to go out on trails and hunt for little mushrooms.” You smiled fondly as you let your head rest against him, “Min Ji and Nari always complained it was too hot and too many bugs so they’d always end up going back to the house. But we’d stay out there for hours. During the summertime mom would always make watermelon lemonade for us when we got back. I miss those days sometimes.”

Jungkook rested his chin on top of your head, fingers trailing through your hair as he murmured, “Sounds nice... sounds like you and your family are close.” His voice seemed somewhat reserved, as if he were in thought. 

“Well, we have our ups and downs like anyone else but...yeah, we are pretty close.” You pulled a little bit away from Jungkook to look at him, his eyes seemed somewhat downcast as you frowned a little, “Was it not like that for your family?” 

Come to think of it, you don’t really know anything about Jungkook’s home life other than what he said in Vegas, which was about his younger sister. Jungkook frowned a little, not replying right away like he usually would before shrugging a little, “Not really. I’ve never been close to either of my parents.” He parted his lips for as if he was going to further elaborate before cutting himself off, choosing to look at the soft ground beneath you rather than at you, “I wanted too when I was younger, for what it’s worth I guess.” 

Your frown furthered at his dim expression as your expression softened, your arms wrapping around him as you squeezed tight, letting your chin rest on his shoulder as you murmured softly, “Not everyone is close to their families and they almost always have a valid reason Jungkook. You don’t owe anyone that reason.” 

Jungkook sighed, closing his eyes, his body weight slumping a little against you as he mumbled against your skin, “Even you? You can’t tell me you don’t want a reason or an explanation at least.” You pressed your lips together, unsure of where all of this was coming from before ultimately humming, letting your fingers twist into his hair. 

“Of course I do,” You agreed gently, but it wasn’t just wanting to know for the sake of knowing, but it was simply because you just wanted to know everything you could about Jungkook, you wanted to understand him at his core self, “But only when you want too. When you feel comfortable enough too. Nobody wants to openly talk about anything bad that happened in the past. Don’t push yourself so much Jungkook. You can talk about it when you’re ready. I’ll always be willing to listen.”

“I know,” Jungkook mumbled against your neck, “I just wish it could be sooner.” You weren’t sure what was holding him back but it wasn’t like you were in a rush to get to know one another. You could afford to take your time and go at a slow pace. You certainly didn’t mind. Pressing your lips against his neck you squeezed him tight as you gave a shy little smile, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll always wait for you.” 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” You pressed your lips together in dismay, it wasn’t that you didn’t trust Jungkook, because you did, you had absolute unwavering trust in him. But given where your relationship was at...well...you didn’t want to cause any more harm to it then you already had. Not that you thought you would but-

“Nothing scandalous is going to happen babygirl I promise,” Jungkook replied, pressing a kiss against your temple as he wrapped a hand around your waist, giving you that dumb boyishly charming smile of his, “It’s just been awhile since I’ve seen Yugyeom, besides Hyerin will be there as well. If it makes you feel better this dungeon has a pretty strict no sex policy.”

You sighed as you pressed your hands into your face, trying to not let yourself whine as he pressed another kiss against your face, “You could always regress again, I still have that last picture you drew for me, you were such a sweet girl.” He cooed out before laughing at the sight of you stomping your foot. 

“Jungkook stop!” You covered your face feeling somewhat embarrassed, his hand squeezed around your waist in reassurance before leading you into the dungeon. The lights were low lit but the environment seemed much more tame, Jungkook kept a steady grip on you, not too tight but not too loose, just enough to let you know he wasn’t going anywhere. 

There were still a few here and there who were dressed in latex and masks but otherwise if someone walked in without knowing what this was they’d assume it was another club. Apparently according to Jungkook most dungeons weren’t exclusive but given it was a daunting environment most newcomers usually came with someone who was already acquainted. 

You supposed you were on that list. 

“Hey man! Long time no see,” Yugyeom waved you both over to the booth he sat at, Hyerin smiling as she waved, not looking nearly as broody as she did whenever she was regressed. So this would be just like a double date! You concluded, for some reason you felt nervous. Even despite working as a stripper you still didn’t fare well with small talk. 

You felt more comfortable at least with Jungkook who was a social butterfly in and outside of work, sitting down across from the couple, “How was Seasonella?” 

It was quiet for a moment, both Yugyeom and Hyerin raising their brows as they watched you and Jungkook exchange glances while shifting in your seats, “It- ah…” Jungkook offered a weak smile before chuckling, “Well, there won’t be one next year. To summarize, the mafia and police got involved, Y/n almost got sold into a prostitution ring and everyone told me at the worst time possible she could be pregnant. Which she isn’t by the way, but yeah. Busy weekend.” Jungkook wrapped an arm around you both looking at you with a toothy smile as you pressed your hands into your face.

Both Yugyeom and Hyerin were speechless- not that you could blame them before they began laughing, either because this just sounded like a normal part of Jungkook’s life or they didn’t believe you, regardless Yugyeom snorted, “Right, so you’re just gonna leave us on the edge of our seats now?” 

Jungkook didn’t hesitate to dive into all the gruesome details on what had happened at Seasonella and the couple looked vastly entertained if not somewhat worried when Jungkook revealed Eva’s speech she had given him just before he found you. You had butted in a few times to correct some of the events that had happened only for Jungkook to give you a dumb smile that made you flustered and ultimately shutting you up. 

“So yeah,” Jungkook finished recalling the weekend as he shrugged, thankfully leaving out details of what had happened at the after party, “How was your guys weekend?” He hummed as if he had just talked for the past twenty minutes about a normal weekend date. 

“Is this just normal in stripping?” Hyerin asked, a smile mustered on her expression but you could tell she seemed a bit exasperated and admittedly you couldn’t blame her. 

You rubbed the back of your neck as you muttered, “I’d hope not.” 

Jungkook pressed a kiss against your hair as he chuckled, “No, it’s usually a lot more relaxed but Seasonella has always been a high stress event. At least if we’re still stripping by next year we won’t have to worry about it. I can’t help but wonder why Cherry ever got involved to begin with…” The air at the table seemed to turn a little tense as Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck, deciding to deflect as he shrugged, pulling a smile back on his lips with ease, “Anyways, doesn’t matter now. It’s all over.” 

“Hey!” Everyone’s attention was drawn to a new man entering the conversation, tilting your head he seemed a little familiar...Wasn’t he the one who intervened the last time you went to a BDSM club? “Yugyeom! I can’t find the rest of the guys and I could uh- really use some help...It’s Shownu…” Yugyeom immediately perked up and your memory was drawn back to Shownu, yeah! That was his name, he tried to creep on you and Hyerin when you were regressed. 

“I’ll go too.” Jungkook immediately puffed up as he and Yugyeom stood up, a viscous grin on his face at the sight of both men about to reject him, “I still have a few words for him.” Sighing the man waved them both along as you frowned, watching them disappear into the thick crowd. 

“Shownu has a pretty bad rep in most dungeons,” Hyerin hummed as she curled up in her seat, “I don’t think he’s a bad guy but…” She trailed off before offering a weak smile, “But I think he has a hard time knowing when to stop, he’s pissed off a lot of dominants and often causes trouble between couples.”

You frowned as you wrapped your arms around yourself, “Can’t people get kicked out if they cause enough trouble though…?” There had to be some kind of system right? Jungkook didn’t go too in depth about how everything works but you made sure to make a mental note to ask him whenever he got back from his... ‘talk’ with Shownu…

“Well…” Hyerin parted her lips but she paused for a moment as if to gather her thoughts on how to explain, “Yes and no, people can only get directly kicked out if it’s by the dungeon master, or, in other words the owner. But Shownu knows a lot of the club owners and is on pretty good terms with most so, getting kicked out is pretty hard, for him at least.”

Glancing out over the crowd you weren’t sure what possessed you to ask, “How long has Jungkook been coming to places like this?” You could ask him yourself sure, and you probably would but...you were admittedly curious to hear from a different perspective. 

Hyerin tilted her head as she tapped her finger to her lips in thought, “Longer than me. Yugyeom said they met at a munch and got on great. I didn’t meet Yugyeom until about two years ago and he started taking me here because I was interested.” 

She paused for a moment before offering a weak smile, “Your boyfriend’s an interesting character, he’s a regular but I don’t think I’ve ever seen him share a scene with anyone before. Kind of weird considering he calls himself- and I quote- ‘ a very proud exhibit’-” Hyerin began cackling as you groaned, facepalming as your memory shot to the sloppy rough sex you shared for all of your friends to see, “He usually just...watches....he knows a lot of people here but I don’t think he’s ever participated in anything. Not that you probably care…!” She hurried as if not wanting you to get the wrong idea, “It’s just interesting, almost everyone who frequents dungeons are usually here to...well find someone to do a scene with…”

You hummed, unsure of how to reply because you weren’t sure yourself, it didn’t sound like the Jungkook you knew at least, he was never afraid of women and he always jumped at the opportunity to get his dick sucked, especially when you first met him, shrugging you ran a hand through your hair, “I don’t know...it is kind of weird but maybe he had his reasons? How can you be so sure he hasn’t done anything?” 

Hyerin looked a little flustered as she began to rapidly flail a nervous laugh escaping her as she fumbled, “I never slept with him if that’s what you’re asking!” “Woah wait I never-” “I- I um…” She rubbed her neck as she tried to calm herself, your eyes had to be dilated at the way she forced a laugh, “I mean um…! Look,” She took a deep breath, “People here...talk…” She refused to look at you now, obviously embarrassed, “A lot. Yugyeom told me all of this, apparently he tried to set Jungkook up with a few people but it never really took off…? This was way back before I even met Yugyeom...I’ve met a lot of women who have wanted to do scenes with Jungkook, and I mean…” 

Hyerin seemed to calm down a little as she let out a more natural laugh, “A lot. But apparently Jungkook would always tell them he wasn’t interested or he’d start sending mixed signals before abruptly cutting contact. I don’t know. I can’t say I’m positive but...from what I’ve heard, it just seems that way. Uh- I’m sorry by the way- for what I said earlier…” 

She offered a weak, yet again embarrassed smile, “I’m sure that’s not what you meant but...a lot of women here get jealous. Jungkook and I aren’t even friends really, I’ve only ever talked to him because of Yugyeom but a lot of women get mad at the fact that I’m even in association with him. Doesn’t matter how many times I say it, nobody seems to believe it.” She gave an awkward smile as she rubbed the back of her neck. 

“Oh…” You pressed your lips together before giving a small smile, “Well I believe you, I mean...I…” Closing your eyes you pinched your brows as you forced a laugh, “Definitely know what you’ve been through…” Sighing you looked out, trying to find Jungkook’s figure in a sea of people but you knew it was useless, “Being his trainee at Cherry Bomb was not as easy as some might think it would be. Our relationship has been...anything but easy.” 

Hyerin frowned a little as she tilted her head before offering you a smile, “Look...It seems kind of weird to apologize but uh...I am sorry for when we first met! I’m not really uh- the most outgoing person when I’m regressed but…! I want to get to know you when we aren’t little so…! We can exchange numbers if you want? It sounds like you could use someone outside of work to vent too.” 

Your lips parted in surprise, you hadn’t even given it any thought from last time, Hyerin was completely different from when she was regressed and so were you, “Of course!” You bounced in your seat in excitement, always happy to have a new friend, digging out your phone, “It actually would be great to have someone outside of work I mean…! It’s nothing against all of my friends there but, it can get a bit frustrating at times.” 

“I can understand that,” Hyerin snorted as she typed her number into your phone, “Or I can at least imagine. Yugyeom and I have visited Cherry a few times and a lot of the girls are um…” She raised her brows as her smile tightened a little, “I’m amazed you have the patience, that’s all I’ll say. Here!” She handed back your phone, “Now we can stay in touch!” 

“Seems like these two are getting on at least.” You both jumped at the sight of Jungkook and Yugyeom returning, Jungkook rolling his neck as if he had pulled a muscle as he sat down next to you, pecking your lips as you scooted away to try and get a look at him, “Hey! C’mere!” Jungkook grabbed you, pulling you back immediately as you wiggled to try and get away to get a better look at him. 

“I just wanna see your hands!” You replied as Jungkook managed to wrap his arms around you, squeezing you tight making you yelp as you began to laugh, “Let me see your hands! You didn’t beat him up did you?” 

“Fine, fine, fine!” Jungkook replied, rolling his eyes with a smile as he showed his hands which were impressively just as flawless as they were before, “I said I was gonna talk to him baby, and that’s all I did. Yugyeom can vouch for me.” 

Yugyeom snorted as he wrapped an arm around Hyerin, “Only because it took both me and Wonho to hold you back,” Jungkook looked like a deer caught in the headlights before he glared, “Hey!”- “What? I still vouched didn’t I?” Yugyeom offered a playful smile, “Besides, what counts is you didn’t.” 

You couldn’t help but smile as you rolled your eyes, “It’s better than doing it. We can’t have you all bruised up back on your first night at work.” You cooed, reaching up to squish his cheeks as he tried to bat your hands away. 

“Don’t worry babygirl,” Jungkook stretched out as he wrapped an arm back around your shoulders, “Everything’s taken care of.” 

“God I hate it here.” You told Jungkook that you both should get home at a decent hour and he agreed, but somehow, two am didn’t sound that late last night and somehow either you or Jungkook thought it was a bad idea. You had been so used to sleeping in over the past week you forgot how awful your regular sleep schedule had become.

“Hey, at least Seasonella is over.” Taehyung was stocking up today looking bright and chipper as he offered a boxy grin, “Now all you gotta do is focus on SSU coming up, I mean, it should be a lot more fun and relaxing at least. You aren’t aiming to win right?” 

You were collapsed at the bar as you swiveled the glass of water Taehyung had been kind enough to get you, not that you were hung over but you had definitely been dehydrated, “True,” You sat up as you rubbed your eyes with a yawn, “That’s the idea at least. Me and Jungkook are supposed to start working on my routines today, he said since I have soloist experience I should be able to do a lot on my own but you know him, always happy to be hands on.” 

“Mhm,” Taehyung grabbed a few more empty bottles from beneath the counter as he set them all out, “It’ll be fun! Once you get used to the whole schedule again. Besides, the worst is over now, everyone can just calm down and relax.” 

You couldn’t help but give a tired smile as you nodded, it was nice to be back at Cherry Bomb again. You could have never imagined yourself feeling this way before you started working here but, you liked being home again and in your own environment. 

“Doubt she’ll calm down.” Yoongi walked past you with a mutter as he held up the simply vodka box, setting it down on the ground as he grunted, “She keeps glaring at you.” Frowning you straightened up a little before looking in the direction Yoongi nodded. True to his word your eyes met with the one person you had nearly forgotten about altogether. Seulgi. 

Her eyes were mean and cut dry as she whipped away from your figure, talking to her two little cronies as you rolled your eyes, “I don’t know what I did!” You pressed a hand against your chest as you sighed, “She thinks Jungkook has changed me. Or he’s been a bad influence or...fuck if I know at this point.”

“I think she’s jealous.” Yoongi replied as he leaned back against the counter as you tilted your head, sighing as you rubbed your head, you knew it was the only logical explanation but...It just didn’t feel right to accuse her of being jealous...Or maybe it just…

It just seemed hard to understand, Seulgi was…she always got everything she wanted. The best boyfriends, all the most amazing friends, everything. The idea of her being jealous of...you...just you...it was difficult to wrap your head around. Why would she ever be jealous of you? 

“I don’t know what her problem is,” You shrugged with a frown, unsure of how you were going to handle dealing with her. It would be one thing if you left one another alone but...you had seen Seulgi in action before, you had been the one beside her before. If she has a problem with someone, she won't hesitate to find an opportunity to let them know, “I mean…” You pressed your lips together before shrugging, “Maybe I’ll just find a moment and talk to her about it.” 

Yoongi groaned, obviously not agreeing with your idea as he began unpacking bottles, “It’s best to just ask! Right? I’d rather us talk about face to face then over a text message” You glanced at Taehyung for confirmation as he shrugged, pulling out his inventory list as he began scribbling. 

“Sure I guess,” Taehyung hummed, “It really depends on if you think it’s going to change anything. And if it does, will it be beneficial to moving on or repairing your friendship.” You paused for a moment, having not thought about his words...Would you gain anything out of talking to her…? 

Pressing your lips together you glanced back at Seulgi who was stretching with her friends, you supposed if anything, it would give you confirmation that it was time to move on if she couldn’t at the very least, be happy that you were happy, “I’ll talk to her later today.” You nodded to yourself before sitting up a little straighter, “So I guess you haven’t proposed to Yeri yet?” 

Taehyung nearly knocked over the bottle of gin next to him as he fumbled with his inventory list, “Propose!?” Yoongi was wheezing with laughter as he slapped the counter. 

“No, he’s been sulking the whole time you guys have been gone,” Yoongi wiped the non existent tears from his eyes as he sighed with amusement, “Keeps making excuses like oh her mom called, I had to go get groceries-” 

“Shut up!” Taehyung hissed as he shoved him, his cheeks were bright red as he groaned making you and Yoongi laugh as he melted against the counter top, “I’ll ask her I will! I just…! Give me like another two weeks!” 

You watched Jimin enter the room, teaching today's lesson as you rolled your eyes with a smile, “Yeah sure, okay…I’ll know in two weeks though, Yeri would be blowing up our chat if you proposed. Don’t wait too long!” You called out as you got off the chair, everyone beginning to make their way over as Jimin greeted everyone. 

Class wasn’t mandatory by any means, but who would turn down a teaching by a soloist? The one difference you had noted was Chan Hee had yet to make her presence noticed by you. 

Rather she seemed to stay with her group of friends, looking somewhat...meek? You frowned a little, you weren’t sure if it would be welcomed but you just wanted to make sure she was okay, walking over the group silenced as they watched you somewhat warily as you waved timidly, “Hey…” you offered a small smile as you wrapped your arms around yourself, “I just came over to see ask how you guys were. I know Seasonella was pretty rough for everyone.” 

Chan Hee looked away, not saying anything as she pushed a strand of hair away from her face as her two friends squeaked a little, “It was!” The blonde of the right chirped, “Thank you so much for looking out for our girl.” She grabbed your hands with a bright smile as you jumped a little, having not expected this to go as well as it was.

The blue haired girl clasped her hands as she nodded, “Yeah! Seriously! No matter how rivals here are, girls need to look out for one another. Thank you Y/n!” You offered a small smile as you sheepishly rubbed your neck, “Of course! I’d do it for anybody. Stay safe guys, I’ll see you later tonight.” You were waved off with smiles as you walked back to the private room where everyone was currently. 

Opening the door what you didn’t expect was Seulgi shoved up against Jungkook practically eating his mouth, just as quick as you saw it she was suddenly shoved away, Jungkook’s expression cold as he snapped in a low voice, “Don’t ever fucking do that again. Get out of here. This conversation is over Seulgi.”

Her face was twisted vehemently as she sneered back, “We’ll see about that you asshole!” Whipping around her expression only soured further at the sight of you as she snarled, “Get your boyfriend on a leash Y/n.” You couldn’t even find the time to reply due to the shock of the whole situation. Jungkook only glared at her back before the door shut.

Looking between him and the door you swallowed thickly before pushing your hair away from your face as you tried to comprehend what happened, “...What...what was that?” You asked incredulously, twisting to face Jungkook as his jaw clenched. Whatever had happened obviously put him in a bad mood but you couldn’t help but be completely side swapped at what you had just witnessed. It didn’t upset you as it was clear how Jungkook felt about it but...it left you rather confused and mildly concerned.

“Doesn’t matter.” He snapped, running a hand through his hair as he looked away from you, tongue pushing against his cheek as he began walking away, “Come on we have better things to focus on then her.” 

Your lips were parting and closing several times as you pinched your brows together, but…! Something was obviously wrong, while Seulgi and you weren’t what you’d consider friends anymore, it still didn’t sit right with you the feud they both were having, if it could even be called that, “Jungkook what happened!?” You raised your voice a little still in shock, you may not have been close to Seulgi anymore but she was still your friend, you didn’t want her and Jungkook at each other's neck. 

Jungkook’s jaw was clench as he whipped around, fire in his eyes as he growled, “Can’t you ever fucking leave something alone when I ask!?” Frustration was evident in his expression as it twisted in anger, “Why do you constantly just push? I am not in the mood to talk about it! How many times am I gonna have to say it until you drop it!?”

For the first time in your whole relationship with this man, you were rather speechless, feeling somewhat meek as you looked away from his seething figure as you rubbed the back of your neck, the silence was thick and you could feel the lingering gaze of your friends all curious.

You could feel specks of embarrassment knowing everyone was watching you both closely, as last time this had happened you chose to engage in an argument that ended in you almost quitting. And you really didn’t want to argue today and if he really wasn’t in the mood to talk about it then- “...Okay…” You drawled after a moment, somewhat exasperated as you let your voice soften a little, “You don’t have to talk about it. I just...she is my friend Jungkook.”

That argument that...kiss...whatever it was, you didn’t like it. Not because it happened but more so whatever lead up too it. And more than anything you didn’t like it being kept secret from you. You had already learned your lesson in not pushing Jungkook when he really wasn’t in the mood to be open but...it wasn’t fair, especially when it directly involved your friend. 

Jungkook seemed to relax a little at your words but his expression darkened a little as he muttered, “She isn’t your friend. That’s for damn sure.” 

Something about his words rubbed you the wrong way, you got it, he obviously had a falling out with her, but the way he was speaking. It was as if his words were law, as if just because he said she wasn’t your friend, it had to mean she wasn’t and you needed to stop acting as if you both were. That was your decision, not his. You understood he cared but...

Frustration immediately spiked as you inhaled sharply, gaining his attention as you raised your brows trying your best to keep a good attitude as you spoke, your voice a little more on edge, “Listen...you said you didn’t wanna talk about it. Let’s just…” You looked away to try and get yourself to relax, he probably didn’t mean for it to come across the way it did after all.

You were well aware Jungkook said things he didn’t mean in the heat of the moment, and even if he did it was always poorly worded. Sighing as you rubbed your face, “Lets just focus on SSU, right?” You held up your hands, trying to redirect your energy into something more positive as you offered a weak smile, “You wanted to go over some pointers with me today about it.” 

If anything, redirecting the conversation to work always seemed to get things a little more calmed down between you both and you had been excited to learn from Jungkook about his own experience with SSU and how it would be tailored to suit you. 

Jungkook tucked his tongue into his cheek before relenting as he waved a hand for you to follow him as you walked further into the room, “Right,” He sighed before following up, “SSU is basically a big popularity contest, it isn’t a guarantee that you’ll be promoted to a soloist- just don’t tell fillers that. It’s really just a big marketing ploy to try and get new people to come.” 

Frowning you tilted your head, you supposed it made sense, but it still felt somewhat slimy to not be transparent about the reality of winning, “So, what? What do they gain by winning if you don’t get a promotion?” 

Jungkook shrugged, offering a weak smile that you could tell wasn’t his usual energetic self, “Money, a lot of money, not from Cherry Bomb, they don’t work like that. But again, it’s a big popularity contest, the winner is by crowd choice so most voters are usually throwing a lot of money at the leading person. Promotions are solely based on when we need new soloist’s and who the best person would be. Great example was Hoseok and Taehyung, they went up against one another during SSU. Taehyung won that year but Hoseok got the promotion as well because two of soloist’s previously left a few months before.” 

“That still seems a little shady to me. Isn’t this supposed to be every dancer's fair shot at becoming a soloist?” You frowned as you crossed your arms, you couldn’t help it, this just seemed a bit...dishonest. Really dishonest. Had Jungkook not told you this you would’ve been like any other filler and assumed this could be your one shot at a promotion, not that you held a lot of stock in it to begin with but still...

Jungkook shrugged as he tossed an arm around you, “Supposed to be, yeah. But that’s just how the stripping world works, nobody ever bothers to look at fine print. We are looking for a new soloist this year though.” Jungkook answered pointedly, “So Sejin is going to be looking through votes very carefully this year. Who knows, maybe another Taehyung and Hoseok will happen again.” He tossed a wink as you felt a smile tug on your lips as you rolled your eyes. 

“Well I’m not gonna get my hopes up.” You rolled your eyes as you smiled, wrapping your arms around yourself once more as you both paused, now at the end of the room where you used to work on your form when you first started dancing. 

Jungkook paused for a moment, his expression twisting a little as he looked away, “You could though,” Looking at him you tilted your head as he continued, “I mean seriously Y/n,” Oh no, he was using your name now…”You have everything going for you, why not just go for it?” 

Why was he acting this way? 

Setting down your bag you gave an awkward smile, beginning to feel a little uncomfortable with how he was acting as you shrugged, “I mean I could but that’s....not what we agreed on…?” You kneeled down, avoiding his gaze now as you shrugged somewhat timidly already knowing he was in a bad mood and you didn’t want to make it worse with the wrong wording, “I mean- if I get 1st place that’s great! Of course that’s the biggest goal but-” You fumbled a little with your wording as you looked at your hands, “But we talked about it a lot when I first started and we agreed to just focus on getting a following for me so…”

“Yeah, when you first started,” Jungkook replied immediately putting emphasis on ‘first’, “But you aren’t new anymore and you already have a following as it is, you could destroy the competition. You’re just what we need Y/n.” 

You appreciated Jungkook’s words, you really did, but this...it didn’t sound like him. It was one thing for Jungkook to advocate for you to go for it, he had done this every single time you doubted yourself or needed that gentle push from him, he even did it when you were too humble or shy to try and he loved teasing you lovingly in a way that would make you come to the conclusion to change the original plan.

But you didn’t need a gentle push right now, and any other day he’d know and respect this and would still of course bring it up in a light hearted teasing way. But this? This wasn’t him. He would never go about it like this, and especially not so seriously, grabbing your journal of choreography from your bag you stood up as your lips twitched a little disheartened, “Jungkook! I don’t…!” You paused as you sighed, rubbing your neck as you mumbled, “I don’t want to destroy my competition...I just...Can we please focus on choreographing? We can always talk about this later.” 

You’d be more up for debating this topic when Jungkook wasn’t in a mood, when he was his normal peppy self and you could figure out what was motivating his reason behind the sudden aggressiveness he had displayed. And it wasn’t that talking about it now was off the table but, you could sense a shift in the air that always happened when things could get volatile easily.

Jungkook ran a hand through his hair, his expression looking semi irritated as he replied, “You can, you could if you’d just have confidence in yourself-” 

“I do have confidence in myself!” You had up until this point tried to be as passive as you could but he had hit a sore spot that made you immediately defensive, cutting him off feeling mildly offended at his words, only to be ignored as he continued- “Then what’s holding you back?” He asked sharply, his expression narrow and short tempered as he questioned, “Other than this…! Frustrating mentality you have about always wanting to be nice to everyone! You’re the only person I know that would go out of her way to befriend the same backstabbing manipulative bitch that works here!” 

You felt utterly offended and upset by his words, people could change! Was that not something he and you were both a product of? What was wrong with trying to make amends with people who wanted to set differences aside? 

Your voice quivered in an attempt to try and remain calm as you gritted your teeth, “Are you finished?” You whipped around to face him your anger quickly growing and your patience now gone as you asked, “Or would you like to add more to the list of things you find annoying about me,” “That’s not-” “That's exactly what that sounds like Jungkook!” 

Your expression contorting between upset and anger as you snapped, admittedly feeling mildly hurt by his words, “I don’t know where this is coming from! I’m- I’m sorry that you find it frustrating but that’s who I am! These backstabbing and manipulative bitches are still people Jungkook!” 

You curled your fists as you glared, emotions rapidly coiling in your chest as unpleasant memories of your own dark moments at Seasonella arising as more emotion filled your voice, “You wanna know why I befriended Chan Hee? When I was at Seasonella, you wanna know what happened? She got raped and the shit beat out of her!” 

You ignored the way Jungkook’s body stiffened at your words and his gaze shooting away from you as your eyes blurred only by a little as your lips twitched in anger, “I-...I would never leave someone like that alone by herself! Never. That is not who I am! I would never turn my back on someone- anyone who needs help,” You were rapidly blinking back the tears of your own strong emotions, you always treated others how you had always wanted to be treated, how you had wished someone would have intervened for you and Diego…. You pushed the ugly thoughts away, your lips quivered in bubbling anger as you glared down at the floor “And you bringing up my self confidence…?” 

You inhaled sharply before letting out a weak laugh, “Jungkook,” Your gaze turned more pleading, it was a sore spot! He knew it was a sore spot and it wasn’t fair for him to bring this up every time you didn’t do something he wanted! “I thought you more than anyone else would know this, I didn’t become a stripper for money or fame. You said it yourself, anyone going in with that mentality was an idiot. I became a stripper because,” 

You forced yourself to take a breath, not liking being under so much pressure to present a case for yourself as you pressed your hands to your face, “I became a stripper because for once in my life, I wanted to see if I could do it. I did it to help my self confidence. This- this stupid notion of me being a soloist, I’m glad you think I can do it! I probably can! But that wasn’t and never will be the reason I got into this. I have nothing to prove to anyone, I understand your frustration right now but dammit Jungkook I’m not going to be your verbal punching bag!” 

You grabbed your bag from the floor as you glared at him once more, “I don’t know what you talked about with Seulgi- and you know what? It doesn’t matter! I don’t care! It’s the fact that you’re taking it out on me right now! And that’s what sucks the most about this stupid argument! This isn’t even about me being a soloist, or SSU. I don’t know what the fuck this is about! And- and questioning my character! When the hell have you ever done that before!?”

“Wait, wait, wait! Where are you going.” Jungkook immediately stepped in front of you, eyes widened as you began to walk towards the door, “I’m leaving!-” “No you aren’t, look! I’m sorry okay? I just, hey come on, stop,” “Jungkook! I’m being serious!” 

You paused, irritated at the way he side stepped you to get you to stay still, Jungkook grabbing you by the arms, not tight, but firm enough that you couldn’t push away, “I’m sorry!” Jungkook replied again, louder this time in an attempt to stop you, “I just, don’t go for god's sake can- can we work this out?” 

“You didn’t wanna talk about it!” You shouted, your chest filled with unfairness as your lips parted in disbelief and hurt in your eyes, “I tried asking and you said you didn’t wanna talk about! And that I was always pushing you to open up! I can’t…!” You pulled away from him, grabbing your head as you turned away from him “I can’t win with you Jungkook! I left it alone- so- so we wouldn’t argue!” You hated the way your eyes began to water as frustration boiled in your veins, you were so angry! Why couldn’t you ever do anything right!?

“C’mon don’t cry baby, look let’s just…” Jungkook grabbed your bag from your shoulder as he set it down, quickly turning you back around to face him guilt written across his face as the tears slid down your cheeks. 

“If- if I’m so frustrating and- and pushy…! Why even date me!” You curled your fists as you vehemently rubbed your eyes, “Why do you even like me if I’m so annoying! If I’m just a- a whiny insecure bitch!” 

Those were all his words, you knew he said things he didn’t mean in the heat of the moment but that didn’t mean they didn’t hurt, that it didn’t linger and make you wonder in the back of your head. Jungkook ran a hand through his hair as he sighed, his hands cupping your cheeks as you gritted your teeth in anger before defeatedly closing your eyes. 

His thumbs rubbing against your wet cheeks soothingly as he sighed, “I’m sorry okay? I shouldn’t have picked a fight.. I just…” Something lingered on his face, as if he wanted to tell you something but couldn’t, his lips twitched as he huffed, “I hate seeing people take advantage of you.” 

Letting his head rest against yours as he closed his eyes, “I fucking hate it. I hate seeing people use you for their own gain and I hate hearing the way people talk about you, and believe me I hear a lot, I hate it all of it. I just- I just want so fucking badly to show the world that my girl can do it, and that she isn’t just some fucking doormat they can walk all over. You might not get upset over it but I do, I can’t stand watching you be treated like this by people!” 

Wiping your eyes you sniffled as you replied while shaking your head, “You can’t fight all of my battles Jungkook!” You had calmed down a little, hearing his reasoning, you could understand now why he was acting like this, why he was obviously frustrated by you at times but taking it out on you like that was not going to make you change those things about yourself, “I appreciate it, you know I do!” 

You nodded as you sniffled again, leaning away to get a good look at his tired expression that looked at the ground, “But at some point you just have to ignore them Jungkook. We- we can’t keep fighting over stuff like this! There will always be people in this world who don’t like me or you and there is nothing that can be done about that. If you give that negativity a voice in your life then they’ve done everything they could’ve ever wanted. Because they genuinely think what they say about us matters when it shouldn’t.” 

Jungkook’s arms wrapped around you, his chin setting on your shoulder as he mumbled, “I just want the best for you. I’d do anything for my girl.” His arms squeezed around your waist as his nose rubbed against your neck. Sighing you curled against him, “I know...but your dedication scares me a little sometimes.” Your tone was light and you could hear a snort from him, successfully calming the air between you both. 

But...you wouldn’t lie...it did scare you sometimes...Jungkook was so intense and passionate, you could help but get caught up in the heat of his personality, you didn’t want to be burned by it. Pressing a kiss against your neck Jungkook hummed, “If we’ve hit our daily quota of arguing can we work on choreo now?” You pulled away from him with a childish glare as he smiled softly, his hands cupping your face as he smushed your cheeks, “My precious little cry baby.” 

“For better or worse.” You mumbled. 

Note: I was a glutton and couldn’t wait any longer, so lemme know how you guys enjoyed the chapter and all of your thoughts!!!

(Taglist CLOSED)

Taglist: @rkivemagic @megladon1616 @pearlneedstosleep @sincerelyjeohn @epiphany-playwithfire @maboiisuga @kookphoria91 @taehyungiev13 @134340ismybitch @appreciatethefoolishness @hanhannguyen98 @lurkerarmy @lovelyjikook @serendipity-secrets @kimvantaee @timestandstillalittle @yanmi1 @expensive-bangtan-girl @blxckeffect @kimcheeeeeeeeee @rather-not-sayy @pastel-i-decay @taeass @caitlinmarieeblossom @jishookedout134 @rjsmochii @lovethatforme97 @kthstrawberryshortcake @anonymous2505 @rainbow-zebra-unicorns @namjoonies-dimple @keyaqua123 @kai1697jeon @mochibabycakes @min-chimchim03 @rosewxterbts @zazaluvbts @thekookiecorner @copa-c-havana @rapperkookz @xhg-btsx @intrepide11 @bts-army46 @jimintaendem @sleepyje0n @vidaficrecs @purplelady85 @jeonsbbgirl @loveyourselfbangtans @ausjeons @hajimaoppaa @l4life