#also also I think at least three museums claim to have this item

[frogsinajar]

[thisislizheather]

March Magic 2023

Above Photo: Nothing better than this view

I do a million things the month of my birthday and I never regret it. Some people roll their eyes at the phrase “birthday week” or “birthday month” but those people tend to be supremely unhappy and I express my sympathy towards them. Here’s what happened in the birthday month!

The best tweets of the month can be found over here.

I recapped how I did with my winter list of things to do.

I made my new seasonal spring list of things I’d like to do.

Loving the new tomato leaf candle from Trader Joe’s as well as the great new sweet carrot cake from Bath & Body Works.

Above Photo: Tomato leaf candle from Trader Joe’s, March 2023

Above Photo: Sweet carrot cake candle from Bath & Body Works, March 2023

Ice skating in March with friends? Always a good idea.

Above Photo: 75% of us bought skates for this hahahah, it’s called FRIENDSHIP

You know the food blog Grandbaby Cakes? She just put out a new cookbook and the two main things I want to make from it? The salted butterscotch apple whiskey snacking cake as well as the chocolate pecan pie shortbread bars. 

If you have a NYC/Queens/Brooklyn library card, are you aware that you can get free tickets to museums all over the city?

I have made this chicken marsala at least three times this month, it might be my favourite way to eat chicken.

Above Photo: Chicken marsala should legally be eaten once a week

I bought this Banana Republic Factory funnel-neck sweater in black as well as white because it legit makes me feel like I have a 401k.

I know zero about coffee, but I’ve done this heating-the-press up method a few times now when I make iced coffee and I think it might taste better when you do it?? Nathan claims there’s no difference, so I might just be argumentative?

In love with the tomato potato chips from Eataly.

Above Photo: Available at Eataly, NYC

Will I ever use this pasta mold from Zara Home - or will I watch it sit on a kitchen shelf each day for twenty years while I yearn to be the type of person who uses a pasta mold?

Love this short article: Want to Lead a Better Life? The Secret Is in the Cemetery.

I had brunch at Quality Eats and the short rib hash was great, but really just inspired me to make it at home.

Above Photo: Short rib hash, Quality Eats

In birthday discount news…

Are you aware that Target gives you a measly 5% off one item on your birthday?! It’s so insulting, I wish they’d just do away with it altogether, it’s pathetic. Why are brands becoming such ingrates when it comes to customer loyalty?

I went to Ulta for my free March birthday gift and they were “out of stock” at TWO locations. And nothing was offered in its place. SWEET.

Milk Bar is supposed to offer some kind of birthday something, but since their loyalty “program” is so new, none of the employees have been taught what the benefits of the program even are. WHAT IS HAPPENING?? (Sidenote: am I the only one who think their cookies suck?)

You know the bra store I love, Journelle? They got rid of their birthday month discount, too! So I guess all these companies have decided that our collective slow march towards death with include ZERO BIRTHDAY PERKS. Cool cool cool.

I tried the crab rangoon March special at Mimi Cheng’s and they were only all right, why is everything disappointing me lately? They weren’t terrible, just too cream-cheesy. While we’re on the topic, on what planet does crab need cheese to accompany it? Seems dumb.

Above Photo: March Special (crab rangoon dumplings), Mimi Cheng’s

I also tried this newish Croatian restaurant in Astoria, Selo, and it was absolutely nothing special. I may have to stop giving such credence to the critics at Eater.

My niece Layla got me an incredible birthday gift - a ticket to Tao of Glass, which the New York Times called “a fantastical and often moving tribute to the composer Philip Glass and the power of art to flow through our lives.” IT WAS SO GOOD. Philip Glass was even there on opening night, which was too exciting and I was floored by the whole evening. God, I love it when someone knows you so well and can arrange the most perfect gift.

Above Photo: March 2023

I bought new jeans after maybe a decade and I can’t be more in love with these ribcage straight ankle Levi’s I got.

Some things I’ve watched: 

Tusk: I absolutely hate when American directors talk about Canada in their films, it’s always embarrassing. And jesus, the dialogue in the scene with the girlfriend: has Kevin Smith ever spoke to a girlfriend before? Needless to say, I severely hated the entire movie. I hate torture stuff. Weird that even needs to be said because doesn’t everyone? Johnny Depp was terrible. One of the most originally awful movies I’ve ever seen.

Scream VI: THE WORST SCREAM OF THE ENTIRE SERIES. I vowed not to even see this because I remain #teamneve but Nathan insisted so I begrudgingly went. What a shit show. It was terrible. I’ll never go to another one again, which is a little sad but also fuck everyone involved who thought it was an acceptable idea to move forward without Neve Campbell.

Frantic: I didn’t even know it was a Polanski movie until the end since Harrison Ford was the main draw here. It’s actually a great idea for a movie, but it just trails off midway through so I can understand why no one talks about this movie.

Succession: So I’ve only seen the first few episodes and here’s the thing… it’s legitimately a bad show. The dialogue is so terribly written, I’m actually confused why people praise it so much. NOBODY CALLS THEIR SIBLING SIS. Words can’t express how much I hate the camera work. Shiv’s American accent is wildly bad. I know we’re all desperate for a good show to watch, but the lies need to stop. This is unwatchable.

I’m not sure that I can even speak about it, but I went to a private rehearsal of a play with Michael McKean and good god, I love that man. I met him afterward and he was so kind and lovely, it was unreal. I mean, it’s Mr. Green for god’s sake.

So in love with these new USPS railroad station stamps. I may or may not have made a list of where each station is incase I ever find myself in that city so I can see it in real life.

Above Photo: Can I meet and hug the person who came up with this stamp idea?

I’ve been looking for a real fur coat for a few years now and I finally found her at Exile Vintage in Toronto. It was such a steal because the inner lining was shred, but my mom sewed it all up and it’s absolutely perfect now. So excited to throw out my faux-fur teddy bear coat from Marshalls that every. single. woman. owns.

There was an insane sale at Steve Madden in Soho and I got these new wedge heels for $16. To be clear, that’s $8 PER SHOE.

Above Photo: But can they replace my Terminators? Time will tell.

I saw the new Broadway play Shucked and… yikes. Yes, it was corniness taken to a whole new level, but parts of it were okay. If you love Rodney Dangerfield jokes, then this production was made for you.

Above Photo: March 2023

I also saw Pictures From Home with Nathan Lane and it was slow at first, but really picked up and got good. Love that man.

Above Photo: March 2023

I made a tres leches cake and words cannot describe how heavenly it was. Even if you suffer from dairy issues, I’d recommend that you pound a few Lactaids and eat this immediately.

Above Photo: Tres leche cake

I finally had lunch at Wayan (Jean-Georges’ son’s place) and I can’t wait to return. Best dishes: the corn fritters, the spring rolls (maybe my favourite at any restaurant ever), the lamb kebabs and the chocolate chip cookie with cheddar ice cream. The crab fried rice (which I was most excited for) actually wasn’t anything that special, though.

I had my birthday dinner at The Grill in the Seagram Building (the office building from Scrooged) and it was so great, if not insanely priced. The pasta appetizer was the most incredible thing we ate - they used this crank-type machine table-side to make the broth for the pasta sauce out of MEAT BONES and I can’t stop thinking about it. The other highlight was the gluten-free zucchini cornbread, which was magical. The only downside? Do not get the crab cake - $50+ for the most underwhelming appetizer of your life.

Above Photo: Pasta appetizer, The Grill (a must order)

Above Photo: Vowing to wear more tulle on a daily basis

The Mets promotional giveaways were announced if you care!

Some spring recipes I’d love to make:

Lemony Green Pea Fritters with Cottage Cheese

Banana, Pecan, Coconut and Chocolate Chip Blondies

Cadbury Egg Blondies (I’ve never even made a blondie before, but the urge is strong this season)

Lemon Almond Pudding Cake (love a texturally weird cake)

Carrot Cake Ice Cream (no ice cream maker needed)

Spring Couscous Bowls with Lemon Feta Vinaigrette (I made this last year and it’s spring in a bowl)

Things I’m looking forward to: I visited the insanely gorgeous Kings Theatre in Brooklyn so I’ll do a post about it this week, finally trying the bone marrow gravy at Hawksmoor, I have to get my hands on the Easter Dove Milk Chocolate and Peanut Butter Eggs, I’m trying to get a last minute lottery to see the Phantom of the Opera in its final days, I will find all of the NYC cherry blossoms, seeing the rooftop exhibit when it opens at The Met on the 18th, and finally going on a tour of the old City Hall subway station (this has been a dream of mine for years).

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in February over here.

Above Photo: Baby Dog witnesses snow, March 2023

[cupofteaguk]

i’ve seen the way you look at me when you think i don’t notice

FROM THE PETALS COLLECTION 

[pairing] :: jungkook x fem!reader

[genre] :: percy jackson au + angst 

[word count] :: 7.3k 

[note] :: attempted a son of hades!jungkook storyline. vaguely inspired by nico di angelo’s character arc if you’ve read the books (because coughs well this use to be an unpublished nico di angelo fanfic don’t at me LMAO), but you don’t need to remember the character slash be an expert in the story to read this fic! Also this is a friends to lovers fic hidden behind my attempt to write a story of grief. pls enjoy! 

.

When Jungkook is fifteen years old, he arrives at Camp Half Blood with pennies in his pockets, one Kim Taehyung on his back, and monsters on his tail. There are all kinds of creatures that have been following him for weeks—some with wings, some with clubs, but all with the intent of murder in their eyes as they chase Jungkook up the hill. Taehyung had warned him about this happening, that starting this journey would attract lots of unwanted attention from lots of dangerous half-breed monsters. Something to do with Jungkook’s scent, whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean. 

In the beginning, Jungkook hadn’t known what to expect, hadn’t known what Taehyung meant by strange creatures and a camp just for him. Even right now, as he is running as quickly as his legs can take him with his lungs feeling like it’s about to burst—he doesn’t really understand. 

What he does understand is that he has been alone his entire life. With a childhood filled with no father and a frightful mother, Jungkook has grown up spending time by himself in the company of his own thoughts and emotions. With such a strange (and lacking) family dynamic, it exposed him to lots of bullying and snide comments from peers, most commonly seen during school or walks home. The first half of Jungkook’s childhood is defined by this—by the teasing for being different, for failing classes, for being awkward and shy, for never knowing his place. The second half of Jungkook’s childhood is filled with sleeping on the streets, with stealing food at convenience stores, on how he’s been truly alone since he was thirteen. 

That is, until Kim Taehyung corners him at the midnight strike of his fifteenth birthday—which leads the two of them to this current moment. 

Jungkook doesn’t understand much right now. All he knows is that he needs to run. 

As Jungkook approaches the top of the hill, he sees a group of people surrounding an archway. They’re all bundled up in gears of shields and swords, and each of them turn towards the boys as the monster thudding grows louder and Jungkook’s calls become more clear. 

Half of the group near the archway break off, immediately making their way towards Jungkook and Taehyung. There are a few questions thrown here and there, before the main objective is just to make sure the boys get to safety. Taehyung’s weight gets distributed between Jungkook and another person, and together the bigger group makes their way across the hill. They cross a tall pine tree that Jungkook hardly notices, because he’s completely out of breath, wounded across his entire body, with legs that feel like jello. 

Taehyung’s weight shifts entirely to the other person as Jungkook trips and falls to his knees. Quickly, Jungkook whirls around so his butt and his arms are on the ground. With his eyes directed towards the hill, his heart crawls up his throat as he sees the monsters making their way up towards him. His body moves before his mind does, his arms moving him closer towards the archway. 

Someone settles themselves right behind him. “Woah, hey.” Your voice is soft, your hand between his shoulders is comforting. “You’re okay, you’re safe now.” 

“B-But!” Jungkook stammers, pointing shakily towards the creatures now growing closer and closer to everyone. “Those monsters! They’re coming!” 

As soon as he says that, the monsters stop in their path, right next to the pine tree from earlier. Their collection of beady eyes glare angrily down at Jungkook, their screams are hollow cries that press painfully against his ears. This conveyance of frustration continues on for a few seconds, before one by one the monsters turn around and make their way back down the mountain. 

Jungkook’s breathing is frantic, along with his heart rate, as he watches the creatures disappear below the dip. “W-What the hell…?” 

You angle your head toward in order for Jungkook to look at you—you wear an expression of softness, of understanding, and Jungkook momentarily sees stars. 

That, however, could have also been from the excess oxygen in him, and the fact that one of those creatures had landed a swipe to his head. 

You gesture to the pine tree. “You see that tree? That’s Thalia Grace’s tree—a long time ago, she and some of her friends were trying to get here, and Thalia sacrificed herself to ensure her friends could be safe. She was a daughter of Zeus, so he turned her into a tree that would protect the camp. Monsters just like those can’t get in anymore.” 

Jungkook feels the adrenaline fading, along with his ability to follow conversations. Daughter of Zeus? Like, Zeus from those Greek mythologies? The camp? Had this been the place Taehyung told him about? 

It’s all too much to keep up with. Jungkook faints before he can ask his question, in which the last thing he sees is your eyes, concerned and twinkling. He passes the thudding in his heart off as pure and utter exhaustion. 

Jungkook wakes up on top of a white hospital bed a few hours later, head swimming and Taehyung situated at the foot. He offers a cup of something called ambrosia that immediately clears the headache. “Woah, what the fuck?” He asks, holding the cup away from him and staring at it with wide eyes. He looks over at Taehyung. “What is this? My headache went away as soon as I drank this. Also, it tastes like banana milk. Is this a dream?” Without waiting for an answer, Jungkook leans back and takes in his surroundings. He looks to be an infirmary, beds with white sheets along the walls and light shining in through the windows. There’s a few other people lingering about, hovering over occupied beds. 

“Jungkook.” Taehyung’s soft voice pulls his attention back. “We’re in Camp Half Blood. You brought us here.” Taehyung’s smile is sad, but confident. “You brought me back, even though it was my mission to bring you here. Thanks.” 

Jungkook stares. “So… you weren’t lying about the camp. T-This is all real?” 

It is then that Taehyung explains everything to Jungkook. Explains that the Greek gods Jungkook learned about in class are real, and that sometimes they come down from Mount Olympus to mingle with mortals—which is where their demigod children come from. Demigods are part god, and therefore have enhanced physical ability as well as some level of control or skill over the realm of their godly parent. Taehyung goes over this information as slowly and as calmly as possible, but Jungkook still has trouble processing the information. In a way, it makes sense that Jungkook would be in this position. He’s always known he was different, always felt like he could never fully belong in the mortal world he spent so long occupying. He just could never label his feelings with a concrete answer. 

Until now, that is. 

Jungkook decides to ask Taehyung one more question. “Why couldn’t you explain any of this to me on the way over?” 

Taehyung seems to be choosing his next words carefully. “As we kept going, you were attracting more monsters. That’s something that normally doesn’t happen, unless the demigod the creatures are tracking is one that’s insanely powerful. Like, a demigod that’s born from the Big Three—Zeus, Poseidon, or Hades. I read accounts of what happened to us happening to other kids that were born from any one of those three gods. I figured that the less you knew, the better. A demigod who doesn’t know they’re a demigod is a much less serious threat—your scent isn’t as strong as it could be if you know about who you are.” 

Jungkook ponders this. “So my dad could be Zeus, Poseidon, or Hades?” He’s definitely heard of those gods. The ruler of all gods, and his two brothers. 

Taehyung presses his lips together, leaning forward in his seat so his forearms rest on his knees. “Maybe,” He says. “It’s pretty rare, though, so I don’t want to give you an answer only for it to not be true. Only time will tell.” He must see the lost, the confused, the anxious look on Jungkook’s face, because Taehyung takes a seat on the edge of the hospital bed. “Hey, JK, cheer up.” The usage of his nickname makes the corner of Jungkook’s lips turn up. “While we wait for your dad to claim you, you can stay with me in my father’s cabin. My dad is Hermes. He’s a patron to travelers, so all campers who come here are welcomed until they’re claimed by their godly parents.” 

Jungkook can only manage a nod at this. He still has many questions, still does not fully understand. With what Taehyung is telling him, Jungkook is not even sure he will belong here, or if he will be ostracized once again for being different amongst the different. 

But he trusts Taehyung—so he’ll follow Taehyung. 

.

Jungkook is at Camp Half Blood for a week before Taehyung is called for another assignment. It’s due to a prophecy given by the Oracle who lives on the campgrounds—the figure grants quests to campers to undergo a series of dangerous adventures in order to accomplish something for the long term benefit of demigods, the human race, the Greek gods themselves, anything of the sort. 

In the case of Taehyung, he is chosen by fellow camper Kim Namjoon to join him in and travel west and retrieve stolen items from a museum collection. It seems like an easy quest. At least, that’s what Jungkook is told. 

Kim Namjoon is a son of Athena, someone whom Jungkook met a day into his arrival at Camp Half Blood—friendly and smart and answers Jungkook’s questions about mythology with ease. It had been good when Jungkook first met the former, because he had many questions, some of which couldn’t be answered by Taehyung. Namjoon is someone that Jungkook immediately grows a fondness and admiration for—only leaving him that much more confident that the quest will go smoothly. 

“You guys will be okay… right?” Jungkook asks Namjoon, as the latter is shouldering his backpack. He’s not the only person seeing Namjoon and Taehyung off on their quest, but Jungkook had been one of the first people to show up. After all, when your only friend is leaving on an adventure, it tends to bring in the worry and the anxiety. “And you’ll watch Taehyung, won’t you?” 

“Of course I will,” Namjoon reassures, tight smile across his lips but he distracts Jungkook with a hand on his shoulder. “Taehyung and I have been doing quests together for a few years. We got each other’s back.” 

Taehyung slides in next to Namjoon, glancing over at Jungkook with all the care in the world in his eyes. “Hey JK, just promise me you’ll do your best to be comfortable here, okay? Keep trying out those different skills we were working on, okay? Your dad will claim you, I’m sure of it.” 

Jungkook looks down at his fingers, wringing the hands together. “I-I’ll try my best.” 

Namjoon and Taehyung exchange glances, partaking in a silent language exchange, before Taehyung looks back at Jungkook. “I know someone who can help.” 

Taehyung leaves Namjoon with his backpack before stepping away from the group, making his way down the hill back towards the camp grounds. Jungkook follows shortly behind. It’s still early in the morning, most campers are inside their cabins sleeping away the mist, but there’s a small group of campers near the archery grounds. There’s some laughter as a new person steps in to ready the bow and arrow. Jungkook watches as this new archer aims as the target, pulls back the bow, and—! 

“Y/N!” Taehyung calls. 

The person at the archery station flinches, sending the arrow a few centimeters away from the center of the target. You whirl around, and Jungkook’s stomach drops because it’s you—the person who helped him when he more or less crashed into Camp Half Blood. 

You gape, still holding the bow in your arms as your eyes narrow into a glare as you continue to stare straight at Taehyung. “Kim Taehyung! Where are your manners!” You call out. “Aren’t you supposed to be on a quest now?” 

Taehyung slings an arm around Jungkook’s shoulder. “I need to borrow you for a second, it’s important.” 

You seem to be saying something to one of your friends, because you hand the bow to a friend before walking over to the two boys. 

As soon as you reach your destination, you look at Jungkook and give him a bright-eyed smile of recognition—one that brings him back to the first time he met you, when he saw stars. “Hey!” You exclaim. “I remember you, you came in with Taehyung last week. You looked like you had been through a lot—are you feeling better now?” 

“I-uh…” Jungkook tries to form words. 

“He had some ambrosia, he’s fine,” Taehyung cuts in kindly, sending Jungkook a look he can’t decipher. Taehyung goes on a momentarily rant, explaining that Jungkook would just need someone to help him further adjust to life at camp, as well as help him figure out who his godly parent was. 

Taehyung says a lot of words, but Jungkook isn’t entirely paying attention. His gaze is fixed on you, taking in your easy smile and bright eyes. He can feel his eyes widen and the flush crawl up his cheeks the longer he lets himself look at you—yet, he doesn’t understand what it means. He’s never seen someone like you before, in his years of school and in his years living on the streets. 

“So, I just need you to help him out. Hopefully his dad will claim him before we get back.” 

“That’s something to look forward to,” You reply, sounding genuinely excited for that. You turn your full attention to Jungkook this time and smile. “Hi, I’m Y/N. Nice to finally meet you!” 

He takes your hand. Fifteen-years-old, and he wears his emotions in his eyes. “I’m Jungkook.” 

.

Jungkook is at Camp Half Blood for three weeks when he starts getting nightmares. 

Not only that, but it’s the same kind of nightmare—something horribly realistic and chaotic and messy but so painful that Jungkook finds himself waking up with tears dusting itself in his eyes. 

It always starts off the same: Namjoon and Taehyung on their quest. They appear to be in a room of antiques, each boy looking cautiously at the collection around them, with their backs pressed against each other. There is a low hum in his dream, where the voices emit a low frequency and sound like static—like he’s hearing the conversations underwater. Suddenly, a burst comes from above, a shatter of something in the room, a clatter of hollow bangs and clashes, and a yell. His dream always turns blurry after the fight starts, but it always ends the same—Namjoon pulling Taehyung away from a fight. And the latter is badly wounded. 

And Jungkook always wakes up at the sight of Taehyung. And it’s the same question that swirls around in his mind, over and over again. Did Taehyung die on the quest? 

At first, it’s easy for Jungkook to write off the dream as a dream—nothing more, nothing less. Perhaps his subconscious playing tricks on him, playing around with his fears and turning it into videos to play in his brain. But with each passing night, a voice starts to ring in his mind. 

My dear boy. It’s a deep voice, husky and low and full of pitiful sadness, like it can sense the pain that Jungkook is trying to internalize. Don’t you understand? Kim Namjoon let your best friend die. 

There’s something about the voice that is familiar, like he’s heard it before. 

The voice plays in Jungkook’s mind over and over again, like a record, and it shakes him to the core. The potential of what the voice is and what the voice could mean frightens him, and it shows. 

It shows in when Jungkook just outright misses the target with his bow and arrow in the present day. The pair of you are out on the field today, and you’re furrowing your eyebrows together. 

“Are you alright?” 

Jungkook stares at his arrow, somewhere flung off to the side, before his gaze shifts to you. You’re always so sturdy, so concerned, so worried for him. Besides Taehyung, who else cares so much for his safety and wellbeing—? 

He stops, lowering the bow. He wears a serious expression. “Can I tell you a secret?” He whispers. 

You furrow your eyebrows at his tone. “Of course. Is something bothering you? I know your father hasn’t claimed you yet, but the gods can be really busy around this time…” 

“No.” He shakes his head. “Not that.” He steals himself for speaking the words into reality. “I had a dream that Taehyung died, even though Namjoon promised me nothing would happen to him.” He doesn’t miss the way you flinch at his accusation. 

You don’t reply to him at first. You stare at him, eyes conflicted. Jungkook stares back, briefly wondering whether you’ve had the experience of knowing death. He doesn’t voice the question, choosing instead to maintain steady eye contact with your nervous expression. 

“Perhaps it was just a dream, Jungkook,” You say carefully. “Namjoon always keeps his promises. He and Taehyung have been working together on quests for years. And Namjoon is the smartest person I’ve ever met. If they ran into a situation Namjoon thought they wouldn’t be able to handle, he wouldn’t even think to risk the lives of the people he’s with. He won’t let you down.” You’re smiling tightly, clearly trying to keep the tension light but Jungkook suddenly finds that his heart is not in the mood. 

He wants to believe you. He wants to believe in Namjoon. But he knows what his dreams are. And that voice. These are things he cannot ignore no matter how hard he tries. 

But the thing is, his dreams are real—Kim Namjoon does not keep his promise. Jungkook can see this across his face the moment Namjoon returns to camp, alone. 

“Not only did they know we were coming,” Namjoon explains quietly to the camp counselors, late in the night, at a meeting spot reserved for higher ups. “They had taken over the museum a few weeks before we showed up. It was an ambush. I… I couldn’t save Taehyung.” 

No. 

“No!” Jungkook cries out, standing up and making his position known—loitering in the background of the meeting. 

Namjoon meets his gaze from across the gap that separates them. “Jungkook?” 

Jungkook’s head is spinning, his breath coming out in gasps, as he backs up slowly away from the growing crowd of camp counselors. “Y-You promised me!” He accuses loudly, pointing at Namjoon. “You promised nothing would happen to Taehyung! You lied to me!” 

“Jungkook, I’m sorry.” Namjoon steps out from amongst the group of counselors, a hand out in front of him as if approaching a frightened animal. “We were overwhelmed. If I could take it back and save him, I would—!” 

“Shut up!” Jungkook cries louder, running his hands through his hair. He should have known, should have known that weight in his gut was a warning and not a feeling. The tears in his eyes make it blurry to see anything to understand anything—because Taehyung is dead, along with his kindness and compassion and the safety he brought. “I hate you, I hate all of you!” 

Suddenly, there’s a rumble in the ground, a shake in the Earth so intense that a hushed silence falls over the crowd. At once, the ground splits open and a roar of fire explodes up from the pit, threatening to drag in anyone who gets closer. There are screams from the campers, from the counselors, but Jungkook doesn’t care. He’s so angry, so hurt, so lost. He doesn’t hear any of it. 

Until he hears your voice. “Jungkook!” You scream across the gap. 

Jungkook stills upon hearing you, lowering his arms and opening his eyes. Blinking away tears, he feels his heart rate slow back down to a manageable pace. The split in the ground closes before he looks up. He sees the camp counselors up ahead, equal looks of fear and horror across their eyes. 

He turns just enough to see you. You, with your wide eyes, looking confused and upset by what he has just done. And Jungkook feels nothing but disappointment. He has never done anything like this before, and he doesn’t know what it means. 

So he runs away. He runs away from Namjoon and this god forsaken camp that he knows will remind him of Taehyung. 

He runs away from the whispers from campers, a representation to serve that Jungkook will never truly belong here. 

He runs away from you, the only other person he would think to trust from now on. He can’t handle any of this anymore. 

. 

Two weeks after Jungkook runs away from Camp Half Blood, and a shadow of a figure appears to him in the midst of the evening air. It’s a ghost with a dark twisted smile, who calls himself Min Yoongi—a king in a past life, who now resides in the Underworld as a judge for all souls. 

He tells Jungkook that Jungkook is a son of Hades—which explains why he knew about Taehyung’s death, why he split the ground open all those weeks ago. There’s something borderline dangerous about Yoongi’s smile. 

Every fiber and nerve in Jungkook’s body is begging him not to trust this ghost. But, of course, Jungkook doesn’t listen. He stopped listening to things a long time ago. 

Besides, Yoongi soon makes offers that Jungkook cannot escape from. A way to bring Taehyung back, a way to strike revenge upon Kim Namjoon, a way—! 

Jungkook blinks the thoughts away. He had dozed off again, something he’s been doing a lot lately. 

“You should sleep,” Yoongi advises, his voice more of a whisper than anything else. There’s a touch of eerie to him, in his paper white skin and gray eyes. 

Even though Jungkook doesn’t desire sleep, far from it, he settles with listening to the ghost anyways. So he curls up on a makeshift pillow crafted from his beaten down (stolen) leather jacket, and closes his eyes. 

But instead of the previous nights, where he dreams about death and destruction, dreams up different ways Taehyung could have survived, dreams up Namjoon not caring about Taehyung’s death—he dreams of you. 

Dreams about you are such a rarity now, but they always make him feel warm. Content. Almost satisfied. 

In the dream, the pair of you are situated underneath a big tree at the edge of the forest. You’re in the middle of teaching him about Mythomagic—a card game he had immediately developed an interest for—and he realizes he’s dreaming about a memory this time. When he steals a look at you, he sees sunlight curling around your form, lighting up your hair and your eyes. He hears your laughter and sees the crinkle in your eyes. He can feel your happiness and the innocence in the air around you. He remembers the peacefulness, the calming nature of you. 

He misses it—he misses you. 

A cold chill running down his spine startles Jungkook awake as he springs into a sitting position. The fire before him has long since been put out, and Min Yoongi is floating in front of him. The latter wears a sharp look. “You’re dreaming about her again, aren’t you?” 

Jungkook sighs. Good things in his life could only last for so long. He runs a hand through his hair and turns to gather his jacket into his arms. “I thought I asked you to stop peeking into my mind.” 

“You were smiling,” Yoongi observes quietly. 

“That’s none of your business,” Jungkook snaps. 

“It must have been a good dream. I couldn’t see the contents of the dream, just the subject.” 

“Stay out of my head!” Jungkook hisses, standing up and sliding his arms into the jacket. 

“You care deeply about her.” 

“What do I have to say to get you to stop talking about her?” Jungkook retorts hotly, feeling his temper rise. It had been a good dream. The best one he’s had all week. 

Yoongi looks at him passively. “Just answer one of my questions,” He settles calmly. 

Jungkook grunts. “Fine. What is it?” 

“Why exactly do you care so much about her? You hardly know her.” 

Jungkook slides his backpack over his shoulder. He ignores the touch of passive aggressiveness in Yoongi’s tone. “She was the only one at camp who went out of their way to make me feel like they actually gave a shit.” 

“She cares more about Namjoon than you,” Yoongi interjects bluntly. “She and Namjoon have been friends for longer. She only talked to you because of Namjoon, after all. And don’t you hate him?” 

“Shut up.” 

“You worry she doesn’t care for you the way you do. Haven’t you wondered why she hasn’t tried looking for you?” 

“Shut up.” 

“She was only nice to you because Namjoon asked her to be nice to you.” 

“Shut the fuck up!” Jungkook explodes, turning towards Yoongi with his arm out in a striking motion. His arm cuts clean through the ghost, and he watches as the pieces wisp away into the air. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Yoongi will be back soon, probably to reprimand him, but mostly to carry on as if this hadn’t happened—to continue asking questions and continue trying to piss Jungkook off. It doesn’t matter. Jungkook could never bring Yoongi any harm. The latter is a ghost, after all. 

There’s still a lot he doesn’t understand. 

. 

Jungkook calls off his deal with Yoongi shortly after the You Incident—in which a series of dreams about you sent Yoongi on an accusatory streak that sent him back to the Underworld where he rightfully belongs. It’s good because he doesn’t want a ghost meddling in his personal business, and his personal feelings. 

It’s bad, however, because Jungkook no longer has an evil ghost by his side that offers up revenge. 

This leaves him to do the next best thing—try and summon Taehyung. 

As a son of Hades, his powers do include communicating with ghosts like Yoongi and cracking holes into the ground, but it also involves the ability to summon deceased souls. All that is required is a pit, some food, and a cantation in Ancient Greek. It’s supposed to be simple, and in a way it is. 

Except when the soul he’s trying to summon doesn’t want to be found, which is exactly how it has gone with Taehyung. He’s tried to get Taehyung’s attention for weeks now, to no luck. And he’s tried everything. 

Jungkook scowls to himself as he takes in the local convenience store to buy the various items he’ll need to attempt another summoning. Animal blood is one of the best tools for this type of power, but animal blood doesn’t exactly like up on shelves in aisles of grocery stores—so Jungkook has settled with fast food meals, chips, or anything cheap he can get his hands on. 

He glares at the lineup of sodas in front of his gaze, trying to focus but he finds his mind wandering against through his memories, picking the ones that are most guaranteed to make him feel like shit. 

His mind settles on a line Yoongi said to him countless times regarding you: She was only nice to you because Namjoon asked her to be nice to you. 

His hands shake in his pockets, determined not to believe it, but finding himself pool with doubt nonetheless. 

“Jungkook.” 

He jumps out of his skin at the familiar voice he’s spent the past many months thinking about, as the sensation rings through his body. He experiences brief flashes of emotions he hasn’t undergone in awhile: peace, warmth, hope. He turns on his heel and can’t help the way his eyes widen at the sight of you. 

The months that have passed since his disappearance really does wonders to your face. You look older. You look wary, but well prepared. Most of all, your eyes are still that bright light he remembers more often than he cares to admit. But you also look sad, like the sight of Jungkook is worse than you expected. 

“Jungkook…” You say again, quieter this time. 

You saying his name again brings him back to reality, brings him back to where he is and why he’s here. He doesn’t need you. Like Yoongi said, you’re friends with Namjoon—and Namjoon is the reason why Taehyung is dead. His voice sounds hollow. “What are you doing here?” 

“I should be asking you the same question.” 

His scowl deepens as he settles for a Mountain Dew on the rack. “That’s none of your business.” He catches the hurt that flickers in your eyes, but he turns towards the cashier before he can feel sorry for you. 

You trail after him. “Please don’t shut me out,” You plead gently. You stay behind Jungkook as he pays for his food. “I came here looking for you.” 

“Awfully convenient—but I don’t think you should be wasting your time,” Jungkook grumbles, bounding out of the shop and stopping along the sidewalk. “Why don’t you go back to Namjoon and keep being his best friend and just leave me alone?” 

A sort of realization seems to settle in your eyes, as if you’ve just confirmed something. “I’m not leaving,” You say firmly after a moment. “I’m here by myself, Jungkook. No campers, no Namjoon, it’s just me. I know you’re mad at Namjoon, and you have every right to be upset. I know why you cracked a hole in the ground. I understand all that now. But I really think you should stop blaming Namjoon and hurting yourself. Namjoon didn’t mean to let Taehyung die—!” 

Jungkook whirls around, his eyes a twin set of fire. “Don’t say his name,” He snaps roughly, but falls silent when you don’t even flinch. 

How could he raise his voice at the only person who has gone out of their way to ensure his safety? 

He turns away. He doesn’t apologize, and you don’t ask him to. 

The pair of you don’t say anything for a long moment—Jungkook just makes his way down the sidewalk and you follow along. 

He stops after a moment. He turns himself just enough so you can see his profile. “Fine,” He says, trying to ignore the flutter in his chest when you flash him an appreciative smile. “I’ll let you tag along. But only because I feel bad for snapping at you. I’ve just…” He sighs. “Been going through a lot.” 

You step forward to stand by his side. “We can talk about anything you want to, Jungkook. I’m still your friend.” 

He swallows thickly at your offer, hoping that you don’t notice. If you do, you remain silent. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to.” 

. 

Two days after you join Jungkook’s travels, you seem to decide he is calm enough for a sensitive question. But you’re sneaky about it. You wait until the night, when both of you are curling around a fire—you in your sleeping bag, and Jungkook with his signature leather jacket makeshift pillow underneath his head.  “Why are you so afraid to talk about Taehyung’s death?” 

He flinches at the mention of Taehyung’s name, knowing that snapping and causing a scene would do nothing to stop you from asking the question over and over again. You had given him a few days, but something about your tone tonight tells him that you won’t take no for an answer. 

Jungkook turns his head to look at you. Your eyes are flickering against the fire. “I’ll answer your question if you answer one of mine.” 

You shrug a shoulder. “Sure.” 

He sighs, momentarily stumped. “I’m afraid that if I admit it, or let other people admit it in front of me, it’s true and there’s nothing I can do to bring him back.” 

“I don’t think Taehyung would want you to bring him back, Jungkook. He saved Namjoon that day; he sacrificed himself for a reason—!” 

“Okay, my turn,” Jungkook interrupts, refusing to hear any of it. “Why are you here? Really?” 

You are quiet for a second. “I was sent on a quest to come find you,” You reply after a moment. “The oracle told me about a prophecy where you were in danger. It said you had made a deal with Min Yoongi, said you were considering a soul for a soul trade to get Taehyung back. I was scared for you, Jungkook.” You sit up in your sleeping bag, leaning across the space between the two of you. “My turn. Why don’t you want to believe that Taehyung sacrificed himself to save Namjoon?”

“Because why would he do that?” Jungkook retorts back. “Why would he leave behind everything he cared about? Why would he leave me—?” The words choke in the back of his throat as his heart rams painfully against his chest, the underlying reason for his bitterness surfacing up again. He thought he had smashed his grief down far enough where it would never have to see sunlight again. “It’s nothing. I’m not playing this game anymore.” 

You are quiet, watching as Jungkook curls into himself and turns his back to you. “When are you going to start letting me in?” You whisper. “I didn’t accept that quest for no reason, Jungkook, I came because I care about you. I want to help you.” 

I’ve already let you in, far more than I wanted to, Jungkook thinks to himself instead, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. 

“I know that Taehyung would have never wanted to leave you. He cared about you a lot, and saw you as the little brother he never had. You guys deserved more time. You deserved more time to have the family you never got to have. You wanna know the last thing Taehyung said to me, after introducing us to each other all that time ago? He said that you guys only knew each other for a short time, but you were the strongest person Taehyung had known. I know how much Taehyung wanted to be there for you. But he also had other responsibilities.” Your fingers twitch as if you want to reach over and grab onto Jungkook. “Namjoon had been the leader of the quest, he was the main priority. Taehyung had to make the call. He would never have wanted you to take the guilt for a decision he made on his own.” 

Jungkook hesitates, before rolling onto his back. “Why does Namjoon deserve my forgiveness?” 

Finally, he spares a glance at you. You’re still looking at him, gaze sharp over the fire. It distracts Jungkook momentarily, as his mind thinks about how different you are from fire. Fire can be harsh, blunt, unforgiving, and relentless. Like him. 

But you are like the sun—bright, warm, longing. You refuse to give up on him. 

“Because it’s the right thing to do,” You whisper. “Because everyone deserves a second chance.” 

He stares at you. He doesn’t know what longing dances behind his eyes, but you seem to know, because you avert your gaze and grumble something about going to sleep. 

He watches you turn to your side, and he wonders. 

. 

Jungkook has tried to summon Taehyung a grand total of ten times in the weeks prior to his run in with you. Each time is met with failure, because it seems like Taehyung does not want to be summoned which is disappointing and disheartening. To be honest, it makes Jungkook less and less enthusiastic to keep attempting something he cannot guarantee. 

But as you stand next to him over an empty pit the pair of you have spent the last thirty minutes digging up, you take your hand in his. You smile at him, nodding. “It’ll work this time.” 

So Jungkook pours in the Mountain Dew and dumps out the bag of chips he’s acquired into the hole. As he repeats the same cantation he’s said for the past ten times, the food starts bubbling as spirits from the Underworld fight to get a taste of the offering. 

“Show me Taehyung!” Jungkook calls out, although he sounds worried and unsure. 

At once, a spirit with a bright light, brighter than the others around it, shines through. It slides to the front to drink from the food at the bottom of the pit. The figure morphs and forms into Kim Taehyung. 

Despite everything, despite the long hours that Jungkook has committed to summoning Taehyung, the sight of his friend does not fill him with joy. It fills his eyes with tears. 

You notice, you always do. You squeeze his hand, but you also let go of him. “I’ll leave you two.” 

So Taehyung talks. He talks and talks, about his quest, about his sacrifice, about Namjoon, about forgiveness. 

This is something Jungkook has wanted for weeks. Yet, the longer Taehyung talks, the deeper he can feel the rifts of frustration. 

Frustration at Namjoon, for whom everyone is telling Jungkook to forgive. 

Frustration at Taehyung, for leaving him drowning in the sorrows of his own nightmares. For leaving him, even when he wasn’t ready to be left. 

Frustration at you, for always caring about him, even when he’s sure he doesn’t even care about himself anymore. 

When Jungkook releases Taehyung back to the Underworld, he feels like a hollow shell. He simply stands there, in front of the pit that brought forth his best friend. His mind is whirling with questions, with a curiosity. 

You approach him slowly. “Jungkook…” 

“You should go back,” He mutters. 

You actually look shocked at this now. “What?” 

He turns on his heel to address you properly. “Go back to camp.” He doesn’t mean to sound so harsh, but the words come out like a snap. He tries to reprimand the situation when your face falls just a fraction. “Go back to camp,” He tries again, a little softer this time. He keeps his gaze on you, even when you look up to stare at him. “It’ll be okay. I just need a little bit of time.” 

At this, you nod slowly. You try for a smile. “Come back home, okay?” 

He thinks he knows what you mean, but you disappear before he can ask you. 

. 

He returns to Camp Half Blood after a few days, with his leather jacket and black iron sword. The campers that guard the border part for him like the Red Sea—with the exception of one camper. He’s an older camper, who even in the dark shines brighter than the moon overhead. It’s a son of Apollo quality. It belongs to Jung Hoseok, a camper Jungkook met when he first arrived at camp. Hoseok is like sunshine—he’s always bright and cheerful with a positive disposition. 

Today, despite still having that glint in his eyes, the boy wears a much more solemn expression. Almost as if he’s seen everything that Jungkook has gone through. Or, at the very least, has heard about it. “Hey Jungkook…” Hoseok greets. He doesn’t leave much room for conversation, because he gestures past the archway entrance, down the hill, towards the Big House—the main meeting place for campers, the central point of Camp Half Blood. “She’s waiting for you.” 

He doesn’t need a list of camp names to know who Hoseok is talking about. Jungkook just mumbles his thanks, trying not to draw too much attention to the flush against his cheeks as he follows the pathway down into camp. It’s late, so the grounds are devoid of people, making it easier for Jungkook to step onto the porch of the Big House. 

You’re on the porch, pacing back and forth with your thumb in between your teeth and you look nervous. You’re mumbling something underneath your breath. 

But your ears are just as good as your eyes, because as soon as Jungkook steps on the wood, you’re whirling around to face him. “Jungkook!” You exclaim, approaching him with tentative steps. “Y-You came back.” 

He levels you with a look, feeling a bashfulness overcome him. “You asked me to,” He says. There’s a slight pause. “I told you I needed time to think, and I have. You were right. Everyone deserves a second chance. It wasn’t fair of me to go after Namjoon the way I did.” 

You nod, giving him a small smile. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.” 

Jungkook continues to stare at you, feeling a fondness overcoming him. “Thanks,” He finally settles with. “For, you know, finding me. For not giving up on me.” He looks down, scratching the back of his neck. “I should probably go find Namjoon and apologize.” 

You wave away his concern. “Namjoon is asleep.” You angle your head towards the oceanside that surrounds the camp. “Want to take a walk with me?” 

So you lead him through the camp, past the cabins of campers, past the archery set, past all that, to finally the beach located along the outskirts of the camp. It’s home to many boat races, surfing adventures, and firework displays. Currently, it’s devoid of activity. Right now there is merely a wooden pier that stretches out into the ocean, one that you and Jungkook walk down before you settle down at the edge. 

You pat the spot next to you, and Jungkook sits down. Since you don’t say anything, he allows himself to stare out at the horizon, and the movement of the ocean. When you still don’t say anything, Jungkook dares himself to look at you. The moonlight is cascading across your features. You look like home. You feel like home. 

You look at him suddenly, and knit your eyebrows. “Do I have something on my face?” 

“Oh, uh, no…” He trails off, forcing himself to look away from you. Should he tell you? Not tell you, but… “Hey Y/N,” Jungkook speaks before he can think otherwise. 

You look at him. “Yes?” 

Jungkook straightens his back a little. “I-I think I should tell you… I didn’t come back just for Namjoon. Actually, I came back to tell you that I, uh, well, I missed you—I mean, hanging out with you—I wanted to be a better person because of you—I mean, not just because of you, but—!” 

You start to smile at that, before you do something unexpected. You lean over and kiss his cheek. 

He feels like his body has just been shocked, the sensation dancing up and down his spine. “W-What was that for?” He’s trying to sound confused, but his nerves immediately start getting the best of him. 

Your smile is still present, but it’s a kind smile that touches your eyes and assures him of his choice to return. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice. You still wear your emotions in your eyes. That’s one that hasn’t changed over the past year.” 

He scoffs, but his face feels hot and he’s sure the effect he’s trying to go for is lost anyways. 

[sekceesimps]

A Rose Made of Chains Ch 5

a/n Hey Simps! Very very sorry about the delay between 4 and 5. School actually sucks and makes me cry every night so I haven’t had time to write. Hopefully I can get 6 and 7 out within this week. Very sorry once again. 

sincerely, Coffee 🥵

Part 1:   teaser,    Ch 1,     Ch 2,     Ch 3  

Part 2:  teaser,   Ch 4,  Ch 6,   Ch 7

A soulmate AU chapter fic of Kurapika (Aged Up) and Reader who was kidnapped by the Phantom Troupe

You had remained meekly in your room desperately trying to think of a plan. You had to not only find a way to get into the hunter museum showing, but also somehow take the blade from a secure holding area. You wanted to curl up and die. No one said anything about the repercussions of failing, but you knew from Machi’s words that if you did fail you would probably be thrown back to where you were. The thought of being killed crossed your mind, but you weren’t exactly keen on dying anytime soon. You had just gotten a taste of freedom, you were not eager to lose it easily. The knowledge that you could keep the little privileges you had is what thrust you into developing the complex strategy to retrieve the spider’s desired blade. 

When your pink haired partner came into your room, you had finally prepared your plan.

“Hey, are you ready,” she asked as she plopped down beside you on the bed.           

You nod simply and begin with asking her about her nen ability. You were reluctant to tell her about your own, but you wanted to know what you would have to work with. She went into a little detail about her nen stitches but you had gotten a good idea of their use. 

The prospect of using her nen to harm others left a vile taste in your mouth, but you simply ignored it. Silently vowing to not hurt or let her hurt anyone on this mission. You informed her of your plans. You would be using your manipulation of the shadows to cloak yourselves when entering the museum crawling with hunters. From there the two of you should be able to blend in and grab the blade as long as you two kept collected appearances. If worse came to worst then you would have to hope that you two could fight your way out. 

The true nature of your nen is something you barely touched on in your spiel, hoping to keep what little privacy you had to yourself. She agreed to the plan and the two of you set out on your journey.

»»————-　　————-«« 

The drive to the museum had been fun. Your partner was a carefree person as she drove the two of you towards the mission. She had cracked jokes, making fun of the different troupe members you had met. Her demeanor was lighthearted and you couldn’t help but look at her and admire how attractive she was. Which is why it surprised you so much when she started flirting with you. In all honesty, you don’t consider yourself hot or someone desirable. All you can do is smile and flush red when she comments about how adorable your laugh is and how stunning you are. You decided that you felt almost comfortable with her. This ride solidified your admiration and attraction to her. You almost forgot that you were being held hostage and fighting for your life.

Coming to your destination felt quick, so when she parked the car you immediately perked up and felt ready. Your plans were now coming to fruition and you were eager to prove yourself. As you prepared to exit the sleek car, Machi had pulled you back by tugging at your shirt. 

“Whoa there, Y/N. Where do you think you’re going dressed like that. We’re going to a fancy gallery you can’t go in like that. As stunning as you are, this is a black tie event,” she paused and smiled at your blushing face. 

“I may have forgotten about that tiny detail,” you mumbled out, embarrassed. 

“I anticipated that, which is why I brought outfits for us,” she continued. Great move, Y/N, already failing and you’ve barely even started. You grin sheepishly as she reaches into the back and pulls out a bag. “You can change in the bathroom over there. I’ll get ready here.” 

You unzip the bag and look at the outfit she had chosen for you. It was a F/C gown/suit (whichever you’d like more) that complimented every feature of yours. The fabric was soft and breathable, you were truly amazed at it’s craftsmanship. Noticing your awe, she smiled with pride at her foresight of picking that out for you. You grab it and quickly dart towards the bathroom in the area she had parked. 

When you had come back to the car moments later in that stunning outfit it made Machi’s jaw drop. She wasn’t one that really showed much emotion, but goddamn your gorgeous body being accentuated by that outfit stunned her. If you weren’t already claimed by Chrollo she might have made a move on you at that moment. 

“Holy shit, Y/N. You look amazing in that. You’d look great in less, but hey I’m not complaining.” she couldn’t help praising you. You were just too good looking to not appreciate. If Chrollo wasn’t here to appreciate you, the least she could do was do it for him. Your face flushing pink never failed to make her elated. Yes, she could clearly see now why he wanted you as his own. 

“Thanks! You look great too, Machi,” you reply. Trying to hide how your eyes analyzed her own champagne shaded dress and how it clung to her in all the right ways. “Let’s go!” you announce as you let your aura increase and surround you. 

She analyzed your steady moves as you let the lack of light in the empty parking lot encase the two of you. “As long as you stay right next to me and use zetsu, we should both be undetectable. To everyone else, we just seem like a background.” you informed her, “don’t touch anyone and we should be alright,” she nods and presses herself closer to you. A little unnecessarily close but she smelled nice so you allowed it. 

Surprisingly, you had kept up your aura and shadow manipulation all the way into the museum. It was exciting to pass by pro-hunters, close enough to touch if they reached out, with them being blissfully unaware of your presence. When you two had reached a point that was semi-empty, you released your aura and let the two of you be seen again. You had told her that all she was meant to do now was stay with everyone and make sure that the guards were not close to you as you went into the backroom and took the knife using your nen again. In all honesty, you knew this mission could have been done with just you. It suited your abilities perfectly, pure stealth. However, you were also aware that they didn’t trust you and needed someone to babysit. Fair, if you were being honest. You still felt quite drained and tired after only using a small amount of your power. As the two of you parted ways, you drifted into the sea of people and made your way to the storage room with the exhibits. 

Getting the blade was a piece of cake. You put up your shadows, slipped behind the guards, and then bypassed the small security around the knife. It was a simple looking item but you could sense the aura around it from the entrance of the building. You tucked it neatly into your outfit and left as easily as you had come. 

As you made your way back into the crowd, the thought of creeping out unnoticed kept nagging at you. After being in the base for so long, you knew the chance of escape was slim to none. Out here though, it was only one troupe member, and she seemed like she liked you well enough to trust you if you took a few extra minutes retrieving the blade. Your mind was screaming to just go while you could. A part of you was tugging you and making your heartache as if it was missing something big. The logical part of you also knew that they probably already knew what you were thinking and already took precautions against it. As nice as Machi was to you, you knew that she wouldn’t hesitate in taking you back by force. Then the punishment would be severe and you’d be in so much pain again. So you push down your aching heart and soul and push past people to look for your spider friend. 

You had found her by the bar and stirring a drink. She smiled at seeing you back. If she was being honest, she thought that you would run and she’d have to hunt you down like what Chrollo had told her to do. She was glad. This meant that you were settling in nicely. You hardly protest as she lightly grips your arm and wraps her own around your waist, as she leads you out of the museum, just as they were beginning to bring the artifacts out. Right in the nick of time. 

“Nice job! You’re going to make a great addition. Get some rest, you look tired,” she announces when you make your way back to the vehicle. You nod in agreement as you pull out the knife and put it in the seat next to you. With a final exhale of exhaustion you passed out in the back of the car as Machi drove you two back to the base. 

»»————-　　————-«« 

She had nudged you awake and pushed you back into the hideout, allowing you a few moments to orient yourself and walk in. You carry yourself slightly more relaxed now. Of course, you weren’t at complete ease in a den of killers, but you were certain that they wouldn’t get rid of you tonight. Machi had told you that you could go back to your room and eat dinner as she took the knife and brought it to the troupe’s meeting. She had informed you that you were excused from it. 

You were glad at her forwardness. Being around two to three of these people at a time was fine, but the thought of being around the entirety of the spider made you shake in your shoes. As you sulked your way back to your room, thoughts of these people swam in your mind, drowning out any glimpse of a time before them, a time of true comfort. 

You had hardly realized that you had already made it into your room and into the shower of your private bathroom. You hardly remember sitting in the shower and letting the steaming hot water run over your body and wash away all the memories of what had just happened. It was a good warmth that let you forget what your future here would be like. When the water had started to make your skin prune and wrinkle, you decided that it was time to get out, as you turned the water off, wrapped yourself in a towel, and made your way back to the bed. 

It was surprising how you had gotten different styles of clothes placed into your drawers. Some shirts looked far too big, while others looked tiny. It was quite obvious that someone had just grabbed one of everything from the store and called it a day. Quite frankly, you didn’t mind as you grabbed a hoodie in your size and pulled it over your head. 

You lost track of time as you sort of just laid on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. You made sure to count and memorize every bump on it, a small sliver of satisfaction from the pure boredom nagging at your mind. The window allowed you to look at the landscape outside. Granted it was dark, but you could make out trees and greenery, nothing to tell you where you were though. You briefly entertained the idea of breaking the window and running into the forestry outside. 

The loud knocks at the door sharply broke you away from your brief thoughts of escape, as if a sign of fate telling you that it would be unsuccessful. For whatever reason, thinking of escape created painful shocks that numbed your brain. You sighed and got up, cracking open the door for whoever was interrupting you. 

He was standing there in the most casual way. He was still wearing the strange outfit from this morning, but his entire demeanor was different. It was friendly and lax, paired with a gleaming smile you couldn’t help but blush.  

“May I come in?” he asked politely. Ever the gentlemen. 

“Of course,” you respond and open the door wider for him to enter, giving him a smile in return.

It was unbeknownst to you how much he truly enjoyed seeing you smile. As he made his way into your room, you slyly take in his appearance now that he was in the better lighting of your room. He was so incredibly attractive. His hair was no longer slicked back, but looked more natural and loose, it meshed well with the eased look in his gray eyes. You realized that you hadn’t noticed the tattoo on his forehead before. You felt small in comparison to his striking beauty and powerful aura. His leaner physical appearance may have only been around 5’10”, but it felt as if he was so much greater. Come to think of it, why were all of the members that you had seen so far so attractive. Was being hot a requirement to be a spider? Why did they choose you then?

You were so lost in thought that you hadn’t even noticed that you were sitting beside Chrollo on your plush bed. He had pulled you out of your train of thought by asking you how you felt. 

“Hmm, fine, I guess,” you hummed at him. Unconsciously leaning towards him. You were beginning to feel how taxing using your nen ability had been. 

He must have taken note of this as he let you lean onto him, before wrapping his arms around you and laying down, with you laying half awake as the little spoon. You felt a little self conscious at his arms that were enfolding your waist and his hands laying on your stomach, your aura had started coming across as more anxious now. 

Quickly noticing this shift in mood, he let go and moved his arms up towards your shoulders, resting his hands around the crook of your neck. This was more bearable for you, you decided. You broke the calm silence first. 

“Chrollo,” you began quietly, almost hoping that he wouldn't hear you, “can we cuddle?” You felt stupid after asking such a ridiculous request. Why did you think asking the head of the spider to cuddle with you was smart. Now your only form of comfort here would leave. I’m such a dumbass you continued admonishing yourself. 

However, to your surprise he let out a low chuckle. God, his voice was so hot. “Of course, love”, he replied suavely and pulled you as close to himself as possible. “I’m so glad that you passed,” he continued murmuring sweet nothings into the shell of your ear. You found yourself turning around and facing him, nuzzling your face into his chest. This was… pleasant. It felt so familiar, but then again thinking of anything before being in that room with the man named Feitan made your stomach toss and turn. You ignored the passing feeling, trying to avoid any of the flashes of pain that you associated with trying to remember. 

“If you want, I can introduce you to the rest of the spiders tomorrow,” he mumbled into your hair. You only hum in response and bury your face into Chrollo’s chest again. He was so warm and his steady breaths with his calming heartbeat lull you easily to rest. As you fall deeper into the arms of peaceful sleep, images of a blonde who held you in the same position flashed by. 

a/n I’m kind of in love with Machi if you couldn’t tell 💀. Just to clear up some confusion, the reader is unaware that Chrollo and the Phantom Troupe massacred the Kurta Clan. This is a piece of information that Kurapika hadn’t revealed to her before she was taken. Anyways I hope you enjoyed it, please leave us some feedback! 

~I’ve also never written a scene like this before, so I hope it was ok~

[twentiethcenturymoviesandtv]

The Goonies: The Story

So, considering that this is a charming children’s adventure movie about a bunch of kids trying to save their town, opening up with a jailbreak is kind of an unusual move, but I’ll say this: at least it gets your attention.

The movie starts outside a prison, where one of the inmates, Jake Fratelli, (Robert Davi) has faked his own suicide, tricking the guard in order to knock him out and make a break for it.  Outside, his brother Francis (Joe Pantoliano) and his mother (Anne Ramsey) are ready with the getaway car.  Jake gets in, and Mama Fratelli peels out.  The cops give chase, and the Fratellis zoom through the town of Astoria, Oregon to evade them, passing:

Andy Carmichael (Kerri Green), a cheerleader practicing on a football field…

Clark “Mouth” Devereaux (Corey Feldman) watching a car chase on television while helping his father fix a sink…

Stefanie “Stef” Steinbrenner (Martha Plimpton), washing her hair in a barrel on the pier…

Richard “Data” Wang (Ke Huy Quan), testing out his latest invention…

And finally, Lawrence “Chunk” Cohen (Jeff Cohen), enjoying a slice of pizza and a milkshake, and immediately becoming enthralled by the car-chase.

The Fratellis lose the police and get away, scot free, as the camera pans away, cutting to a big white house, in which Michael “Mikey” Walsh (Sean Astin), complains that nothing ever happens around here, making himself feel better about the sad fact that his family is moving away from Astoria.  His brother, Brandon “Brand” Walsh (Josh Brolin) continues exercising, admitting that he knows how Mikey feels.

A knock at the door brings the boys downstairs, opening the door to Mouth, who immediately begins bemoaning that they’re not doing anything on “their last weekend together…last Goonie weekend”.  Following him is Chunk, who begins describing the police chase to the others, but, as he has a history of telling tall tales, the others don’t buy it.  Meanwhile, Data zip-lines into the house from next door, and just like that, the gang’s all here.

This is all within the first ten minutes of the movie.

I usually wait until we’re further along in the film to stop our summary, but I want to point out some of the really interesting things that happened right away, setting up almost everything about to come:

First, that opening.  I pointed out how unusual it is to start off a kid’s adventure movie with a jailbreak and a police chase, but, besides setting up the Fratellis for later, it also served as a great brief introduction to a ton of characters, whose personalities we’re beginning to see fleshed out here: Data as the Gadgeteer, Chunk as the excitable boy who cried wolf, and Mouth as a kid who’s not quite as cool as he wants to pretend he is.  We know all of this, got all of these characters here, found out about their houses being foreclosed on: and the movie has just started.

This is an excellent example of pacing, keeping the audience engaged without wasting any time, but furthermore, it’s also a master-class in introducing characters without it getting confusing: each kid, as he appears, brings with him the brief flash of recognition: we’ve seen him before, and we know something about them in order to help them stick.  It’s a genius tactic, and the film reaps the rewards of it throughout the entire rest of the film.

As the boys bemoan their houses being foreclosed on and their inevitable move, Mrs. Walsh comes home with a new housekeeper, Rosalita, who doesn’t speak a word of English.  Thankfully (or not) Mouth does, and proceeds to abuse his skill ‘translating’ Mrs. Walsh for the sake of comedy.  This is a throwaway joke, yes, but it is important that he knows Spanish.  Keep it in mind.

Mrs. Walsh and Rosalita depart again to do some shopping before the move, and Mrs. Walsh instructs Brand to not let Mikey outside because of his asthma.  

The instant Mrs. Walsh leaves, the boys stampede up into the attic, apparently undeterred by the veto of any outdoor activities.  It turns out that Mr. Walsh is the curator of the Astoria museum, and as a result, there’s all kinds of old odds and ends cluttering up the Walsh attic, some items that the Goonies think are pretty cool: pirate hats, steering wheels of old ships, swords, clothes, and other stuff.  During the exploration of the attic, Mikey stumbles upon an old picture frame, inside which appears to be a treasure map.  Handing the frame to Chunk (and waiting the few seconds for him to inevitably drop and break it), Mikey pulls out the parchment: the treasure map of One-Eyed Willy.

One-Eyed Willy, as it turns out, is a topic that Mikey happens to be an expert on.

Mikey tells the others the legend of One-Eyed Willy, a pirate who sailed his ship into Astoria, on the run from the Spanish Armada, where he, and his treasure, remained buried after he killed his entire crew and set up a series of traps in order to protect the treasure forever.  While Mikey is telling them this story, the boys stumble upon something else: a newspaper article about a man named Chester Copperpot, who claimed to ‘have the key to One Eyed Willy’, right before he disappeared.

Before there can be much discussion on what this means, the doorbell rings, and after pocketing a doubloon that had been hidden in the same frame as the treasure map, Mikey and company go downstairs to answer the door.

At the door are two men with foreclosure papers, who drop them off for Brand to give to their father to sign before leaving, already remarking about the buildings about to go in over the Goonies’ houses.

Back inside, Mikey bemoans the fact that One-Eyed Willy’s treasure would sure be helpful in paying to keep their houses, but Brand’s not having any of it.  He can’t afford to let Mikey run loose, he’d get grounded, not with his date with Andy (the cheerleader from before) coming up, which he can’t drive to because he failed his license test.

The Goonies, undeterred, jump Brand and tie him to his chair with his own exercise equipment and make a run for it, while Mouth lets the air out of Brand’s bike tires so he can’t follow them.

Some time later, Mrs. Walsh and Rosalita return to free Brand, but it’s too late: Mikey and Company are already well on their way to another Goonie adventure.  Brand eventually frees himself and steals Data’s sister’s tiny pink bike to go after them.  In the process, he runs into Troy, the son of one of the guys who’s foreclosing on them, with Andy and Stef.  After a dangerous moment involving Troy’s establishing character moment (running Brand off the road), Brand manages to get away and continues searching for the boys.

Meanwhile, the Goonies use the map to figure out that it’s guiding them to the coast, where Mikey holds up the doubloon, finding that it’s markings (Three holes) match a trio of landmarks, concluding that they must be in the right place.  Mouth translates the map, and the boys follow it up to an old abandoned summer restaurant.

As they approach it, they see two men in trenchcoats enter.  Assuming this means the place must be open after all, the boys follow, continuing to count paces until they hear two gunshots.  After convincing themselves that it was probably nothing and certainly wasn’t gunshots, they approach the window and peek through.  Meanwhile, Chunk has spotted the car parked in the garage and recognizes it from the police chase he saw that morning: riddled with bullet holes.  Realizing the danger that they’re in, Chunk starts trying to convince the others to make a run for it, but the others, knowing what Chunk is like, ignore him and drag him into the restaurant.

The Fratellis make a show of being actual employees of the restaurant (aside from Mama Fratelli threatening to cut Mouth’s tongue off, which, to be honest, he had coming), before Mikey manages to get away to look around.  While wandering around the basement, Mikey pulls the map out and tries to figure out what to do next.  His train of thought is interrupted by a loud roaring sound: going over to one of the rooms, he sees Jake Fratelli singing to…something, chained to a chair.

Mikey, understandably frightened, freaks and runs back upstairs, where he runs into Brand, who’s finally caught up with him.  He and the rest of the Goonies are promptly kicked out by Mama Fratelli, and outside, the boys try to convince Brand to let them stay and explore.  From a safe distance, the Goonies watch the Fratellis carry something out in a bag (a body-sized bag), and Chunk again tries to convince the gang to go home.

“Mikey, Mikey, come on, our parents are worried. It’s dinnertime. Why don’t we go home?”

“Home? What home? In a couple more hours, it ain’t gonna be home anymore. Come on, guys, this is our time. Our last chance to see if there really is any rich stuff. We’ve got to.”

After Mikey’s compelling speech, Stef and Andy jump out of nowhere to scare them, and just like that, the gang’s all here.

With the Fratellis gone, the Goonies head back inside the restaurant to look around, with Andy convincing Brand to let them stay so they can spend more time together.  Mikey tells the others about the ‘It’ he found in the basement, and he leads the Goonies down to get a look at it.  They take one look and, scared off, the kids close the door on the ‘monster’ and rush off to another corner of the basement, where they discover a secret tunnel under the fireplace.  While they’re there, Data discovers a counterfeit money machine, and Stef finds a newspaper that includes the names and pictures of the Fratellis.  The boys recognize them, and for the first time, get an idea of exactly how dangerous the situation is.

Chunk, feeling vindicated, berates the group for not believing him, before he’s interrupted by the smell of ice cream.  Following his nose to the freezer, Chunk discovers a stash of ice cream: and also a body.  This, combined with the sounds of the Fratellis arriving upstairs, send the kids into a bonafide panic.  They shove the corpse back into the freezer (and Chunk too), and hide in the tunnel under the fireplace.  

The Fratellis come down into the basement and notice a water-cooler that Chunk had broken.  Thankfully, they think it must be the creature they had chained up, and go to investigate, giving Chunk the chance to get out of the freezer and go for the police, while the rest of the kids head into the tunnels.

Chunk manages to get out of the restaurant and out to the main road, where he flags down an approaching car, spewing everything he knows about the Fratellis: only to discover that, of course, the car is being driven by the Fratellis.  They throw him in the back with a stiff (the same one from the freezer), and immediately turn the car around, heading back to the restaurant.  Once there, the Fratellis begin to interrogate Chunk, with the handy assistance of a blender for incentive.  Being told to spill his guts, he immediately breaks down crying and tells them that the Goonies went down into the fireplace, but the Fratellis don’t believe him.  After threatening him again, Chunk, not made of the strongest stuff, immediately tells the Fratellis every bad thing he’s ever done.

Meanwhile, Andy, apparently unable to take the strain, has a minor breakdown after finding a human skeleton crushed underneath what appears to be a booby trap.  After searching his wallet, the group discovers that it’s the body of Chester Copperpot: the man who said that he had the key to One-Eyed Willy.  Approximately half of the group dissolve into hysterics: if an ‘expert’ like Chester Copperpot couldn’t survive, what are the odds of a handful of kids making it?

Mikey, undeterred, takes from Copperpot’s possessions a handful of candles (dynamite) and a skull-shaped key.  Data, in order to make sure nobody follows them, heads to the rear to set up booby traps to make sure they aren’t followed without them knowing.  Mikey accidentally sets off one of the booby traps already set by the pirate crew, and the Goonies, in what has to be the one-hundredth near-miss of the day, escape just in time.  While they catch their breath, Brand accidentally startles a nest full of (fake looking) bats, which fly past them, and explode out of the fireplace in the room where Chunk is being interrogated.

Realizing that Chunk was telling the truth, the Fratellis tie him up and leave him in a room with the It, and head down into the tunnels after the Goonies, and, more importantly, the treasure, which Chunk also told them about.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Goonies continue through the tunnels into a cave with a waterfall, where the ground is covered in coins.  At first, the kids are elated, thinking they’ve found the treasure, but it turns out they’re underneath a wishing well, and the coins are just loose change thrown in over the years.  Aboveground, Troy and his friends, who are hanging out by the wishing well, discover that Andy herself is down there, as well as the rest of the Goonies.  The Goonies persuade him to help them up via the wishing well bucket, but as they begin to make their ascent, Mikey stops them, saying that they’ve already gotten further than Chester Copperpot.

“Don’t you realize? The next time you see sky, it’ll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it’ll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the bestest stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what’s right for them. Because it’s their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it’s our time. It’s our time down here. That’s all over the second we ride up Troy’s bucket.”

The Goonies decide to press onward, and send up in the bucket Andy’s jacket instead, officially branding her a Goonie.

Meanwhile, Chunk discovers the It in the room he’s trapped with: Sloth, the Fratellis’ deformed brother.  After another screaming fit, Chunk manages to throw Sloth a candy bar, a Baby Ruth that he’s had with him.  In order to reach it, Sloth tears the chains binding him right out of the walls, freeing him, and then Chunk.  Now released, Chunk goes to place a call to the police station to try to let them know what’s going on, but just like earlier on, Chunk’s stories have given him a reputation, and the cops don’t believe him.  Chunk’s connection is lost, and after Sloth begins lowering himself into the fireplace to go after his family, Chunk, unwilling to abandon his new friend, follows suit.

In the tunnels, Mikey, Mouth and Data take another look at the map and the key that Mikey found, trying to figure out what to do next.  Mouth’s translation of the words on the map lead Mikey to spot a series of rocks protruding from the tunnel.  He fits the key to them, and turns it, setting off yet another booby trap.  Data falls through a trap door that opens underneath him, only saved by his ‘Pinchers of Peril’.  Dangling through the trap door, Data spots a new opening in the tunnel.

Once the Goonies safely move down into the tunnel, they take a break from adventuring (a break that is mostly important because Andy tries to score a first kiss with Brand.  In what is the best example for why you should always do it with your eyes open, she gets Mikey instead, without realizing), which is cut short by the Fratellis, who have caught up.  Now in an outright chase, the Goonies book it across a log that is suspended over a stream.  Data leaves behind an oil slick from his ‘Slick Shoes’, which stalls the Fratellis while the group presses onwards into another room with a skeleton organ.

The group flips the map over to discover that there are musical notes written on the map, and luckily, Andy has taken piano lessons, though she’s a little rusty.  Although she makes a few mistakes, causing the floor to start to crumble away, she manages to play it well enough to open the passage at the end of the room.  The Goonies tumble through and land in a giant waterslide which drops them into a lagoon where there waits the pirate ship of One-Eyed Willy.  The Goonies climb aboard and explore, uncovering one or two more booby traps, and finally, a secret room where the skeleton of One-Eyed Willy sits at a table, surrounded by tons of gold and jewels.  Mikey shares a moment with Willy alone, dubbing Willy the first Goonie:

“Hi Willie. I’m Mike Walsh. You’ve been expecting me, haven’t you? Well I made it. I beat you. I got here in one piece… so far.”

The crew starts loading up from everywhere except a scale, loaded with treasure at the center of the table, which Mikey tells everyone not to take from.  That, he says, belongs to Willy.

Just as the kids finish stuffing their pockets, shirts, (in Mouth’s case, his mouth) and marble bags, the Fratellis enter, armed and dangerous, and force the kids onto the deck.  Data, proclaiming that he won’t be taken alive, tries to fight them off with his gadgets, but ultimately, the kids are forced to turn out their pockets, shirts, and even Mouth is forced to spit out his string of pearls and handful of jewels.  Mama Fratelli ties the kids’ hands together before starting to make them walk the plank, starting with shoving Andy overboard, which prompts Brand to dive in after her.  Mama Fratelli next pushes Mouth and Stef (who have decided to quit arguing and bickering with each other now that they’re about to die together) out onto the plank, but before she can push them in too, Sloth and ‘Captain’ Chunk appear.  Sloth rescues Stef and Mouth and then takes on the rest of his family while the rest of the Goonies untie themselves and dive overboard to make a swim for it.  In unimportant and mildly related news, Brand and Andy share a first kiss, prompting them to realize that she got Mikey the first time.

Meanwhile, Sloth ties up his brothers and tosses his mother overboard, diving in after the Goonies while his mother climbs back aboard the ship and releases her sons, heading for the loot.  Showing none of Mikey’s restraint, she takes some of the gold from the scales at the center of the table, triggering one last booby trap: causing the cave to start to collapse.

The Goonies head for the cave wall, using one of the sticks of dynamite to blow a hole large enough for them to squeeze through.  With Sloth holding the path open so that the Goonies can get through, the kids escape, reluctantly leaving Sloth behind while he goes to save his family.  One-Eyed Willy’s ship, still affected by the trap, pulls up its anchors and starts to head out of the lagoon.

The Goonies, wet and worse for wear, but safely on the beach, are spotted by a few cops (one of which is played by director Richard Donner), who call it in.  Soon enough, the kids are surrounded by parents, grandparents, and various other family members (many of whom are played by actual cast members’ families), all of whom are happy that their children are alive and well, if a bit disheveled.  Brand has brought Mikey home safely, Chunk’s family brings him a pizza, Data’s father, evidently as much of an inventor as he himself is, embraces his son, and Mouth and Stef make up, displaying some feelings towards each other that aren’t blatant aggression.  Andy shares a heartfelt talk with Mikey, and happily prepares to head off into the sunset with Brand.  Mikey apologizes to his father:

“Sorry, Dad, we had our hands on the future, but we gave it up just to save our own lives.”

Everyone’s home safe, breathing a collective sigh of relief, when the Fratellis (Sloth included!) show up.

After Chunk convinces the cops that Sloth is a good guy, the Fratellis are led away in handcuffs.  Chunk tells Sloth that he’s going to take care of him now.

“Sloth, you’re gonna live with me now. I’m gonna take care of ya, ’cause I love ya.”

Just as it looks like things are winding down, Troy’s father, Mr. Perkins, (and Troy himself) show up to force Mr. Walsh to sign the foreclosure papers, completely ignoring the fact that he just now found his missing kids.  Reluctantly, Mr. Walsh prepares to sign, but before he does, Rosalita, the housekeeper, stumbles upon Mikey’s marble bag, full of jewels.

Mouth manages to translate fast enough to stop Mr. Walsh from going through with it.  The marble bag is emptied out, revealing enough of a fortune to save the Goondocks.  Mr. Walsh tears up the papers, and One-Eyed Willy’s pirate ship, breaking free of the lagoon, floats off in the distance as the Goonies, and Sloth, gather together and cheer.

The End.

So….that’s The Goonies.

So what?

All in all, the movie, on paper, doesn’t seem very special.  There’s not much by way of ‘plot’ past the initial setup.  It sounds like a concept film on a roller coaster, without much in twists and turns.  It moves very quickly, from scene to scene to scene (I didn’t even cover all of it), one after another in a way that progresses the story, but doesn’t really add to it.  That’s not even mentioning all of the very lucky coincidences and oddities, such as the pirates building a water slide into the caves, apparently, or the fact that, throughout the story, everything just seems to work out for the main characters.

This isn’t to say that’s a bad thing.

On the contrary, the movie is an exciting, fun ride from beginning to end.  But as far as the plot goes, it may be a little hard to see where the charm is in this story that seems like Indiana Jones for kids.

Here’s the thing about The Goonies.

The story is rock solid in its simplicity, in its initial setup.  Four kids who care about each other very much are about to be separated, and in a desperate grab to prevent it, go treasure hunting, racing against a criminal family after the same thing for selfish reasons.  The rest: Sloth, booby traps, ‘Goonies Never Say Die’, etc. is all trimmings, icing on the cake of a basic story that, boiled down to its essentials, is extremely bare-bones.  Even in practice, there isn’t much added to it: there are no real character subplots that tie into the main story, just minor things: Chunk finally being believed, Data proving himself a capable inventor, Mouth and Stef’s bickering growing into mild mutual respect, even Brand and Andy’s romance doesn’t really add up to directly influence the story much at all.

But that’s the stuff we remember, almost as well as the bone organ, or the first time the kids see the pirate ship.  The question is, why?

The Goonies is not a mind-blowing story.  It’s very basic, with less twists and turns than many contemporary kids movies, but in the end, that’s the brilliance of it.

I don’t need a long, drawn out reason for why Mikey’s father has a map in his attic.  I don’t need to know what brought these oddballs together, or where Data gets the stuff for his inventions.  The movie cuts right to the car chase, introduces you to the main characters, and throws you into their plight immediately.  And although the problem is more small scale than plenty of other adventure films, it’s incredibly high stakes, at least, to the main characters.

The idea of losing your home to foreclosure, while not a reality for everyone, is something that an audience can instantly relate to: you don’t want to be separated from where you are, and Mikey’s passion for staying together is such that he drags his friends into a life-risking adventure to save the Goondocks.  As an audience, we understand that this is maybe a little extreme, but we go with it, because it makes sense to him, and therefore, it makes sense to us.  The Fratellis are incredibly easy to grasp as villains: they do nothing but bad things (albeit often in humorous ways), including mistreating Sloth, who again, is simply presented as a victim.  There are no moral ambiguities in The Goonies, no moments of decision beyond ‘go forward or quit’.  Once the Goonies discover where the treasure might be, the story is launched on a forward trajectory with no signs of stopping until the very end, when, of course, the Goondocks are saved, and the Goonies themselves return safely to worried parents.

You can describe the plot in a sentence, and there’s no deviation from it: kids trying to save their homes by finding a buried treasure before a criminal family does.

And yet, it works perfectly in its simplicity.  Like I said, you understand exactly why the main characters do what they do, and you understand who they are, nearly immediately.  The story doesn’t need to go into explaining it, or the characters, as it goes along, merely to build upon what’s already there.  That forward trajectory allows the story to always keep moving, keep pushing characters forward with chases, booby traps, lucky stumbles, and so much happening at all times that it’s easy to go along for the ride, enjoying the little moments added onto the basic premise like the wishing well scene, iconic because it directly attaches to Mikey’s goal and is a turnaround point for a few characters.  Nothing changes here, but things are reinforced: the initial goal and motivations, and the decision to keep moving.  When Chunk meets Sloth and follows him into the tunnels, nothing feels like it’s changing, exactly, except his actual physical movement, going forward instead of retreating.  

There is no ‘switching gears’ in The Goonies.  Everything pushes forward, building until the climax, and the near instant the goal is achieved, the movie is over.  We don’t need to see, (as much as we might like to) Sloth moving in with Chunk, or Data’s next invention, or Brand and Andy’s relationship’s next step, or even Mikey’s next Goonie adventure, because that story is over.  We can close the book on these kids, and although sometimes it’d be nice to know what happened to them years later, we don’t need a winddown of a conclusion.  All we need to know is that they kept their houses and stayed together.

Again….why?

Why do we care so much about these kids?  It’s not like they changed, or grew as people.  There’s no ‘Hero’s Journey’ for Mikey, he gets what he wants and throws away his inhaler.  He never changes goals, never overcomes a character flaw.  If most good stories are dictated by dynamic characters who change, it seems like The Goonies falls flat.

From beginning to end, the characters in The Goonies seem to end the film the exact same way that they started: Mikey’s an idealistic leader, Mouth’s a loudmouth, Data’s an ‘absent-minded professor’ type, and Chunk is a boisterous, easily-panicked kid.  There are subtle differences, sure, like Chunk becoming a braver person and Data proving his inventions, even Mouth settles down a little, but for the most part, there’s no arc, no beginning, middle and end, no big changes that show what all has happened and how it affects each one of them.

Because it doesn’t have to.

We care about these kids because they, and the story, are simple, without being stupid, and easily grasped.  Everything in this film is tailored for quick accessibility: grab an idea and move on so we can play with it.  As I pointed out with the initial chase scene: instantly, you have an idea of what’s going on, and who each character is.  With that in mind, especially with an ensemble cast, ‘character arcs’ don’t matter quite as much.

You can have good stories without good character arcs.  Back to the Future is a great example of a protagonist who doesn’t change, but is within a deeply compelling narrative, and in the end, that’s the secret.  The plot for The Goonies is deeply compelling, because we as an audience like these kids and don’t want them to lose their home.  We want them to stay together, whether it’s from Stand By Me-like nostalgia for old friends, or feelings towards friends we have right now.  The goals are rock-solid, and after that, the story is too.

I’m not talking about things like the skull carved into the cave face: I’m talking about the forward trajectory.  Every single story beat henceforth is tight and fast-paced, each scene sliding right into the next without any real breaks.  It’s a waterslide in its own right, full of excitement and consistent characters and goals, with understandable stakes and villains, and in the end, when the kids make it home safe, achieving their goal by the skin of their teeth, we cheer with them.

As it turns out, the recipe for successful filmmaking isn’t always ‘thought provoking plot + well rounded, dynamic characters’.  Sometimes the way to make a good film is ‘simple, interesting plot + simple, likeable characters’.

With that in mind, The Goonies is 100% a classic.

There is a reason that this movie stuck, and it all revolves around the streamlined simplicity of its design.  With so little ‘fluff’ getting in the way of the main conflict, the film is free to devote its entire focus to these goals and these characters reaching them.  Thanks to this single-minded drive, the film is memorable in everything: iconic characters, great lines, wonderful setpieces, with no part being overshadowed by all of the rest.  

It’s not hard to see why this movie became such a milestone for so many.  It resonates with people who can find themselves in a specific character or plight, whether children themselves or considerably older, who can allow themselves to be sucked along for the ride and believe, for just a little while, that there’s still such a thing as pirate treasure.

And it’ll continue to resonate for decades to come.

Thanks so much for reading!  If you enjoyed it, please stay tuned to join us for the remainder of our study of The Goonies. Don’t forget that my comment box is always open.  Thank you guys so much for reading, and I’ll see you all in the next article!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #338

“i can’t decide if you’re wearing me out, or wearing me well”

Are you a fan of techno? I've gotten more into it lately, actually. I've never minded it. Who’s your favorite horror movie villain/monster? Pyramid Head, though he's called Red Pyramid Thing in the movies. Do you have a favorite muscle car? Nah. I'm not big into cars. What would be a total deal-breaker for you, relationship-wise? You so much as lift your hand at me, bye, motherfucker. Would you consider yourself to be accepting of others? Yes, but not as much as I used to be. There are certain opinions I just don't tolerate in people anymore; I feel like by staying associated with people whose views invalidate or in any way harm others (racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.), you're on the side of evil as well, even if indirectly. However, I genuinely do feel I have a wide range of viewpoints I'm willing to accept in others, even if I don't agree with them. Are you flirtatious? No. I think I'm only capable of flirting with someone I'm already with and very comfortable around. I'd feel way too shy and awkward otherwise. Have you ever just felt "drawn" to someone, but you didn’t know why? "Didn't know why," no. I've felt drawn to people with good reason, like if I was romantically interested in them. Is there anyone you currently want to reach out to? There's a number, honestly. Especially with the aid of therapy, I'm being motivated to strengthen bonds with old friends and/or acquaintances via Facebook. Freddy or Jason? I think Jason is scarier. Freddy tends to come across as cheesy for me. Have stickers or gems on your cell phone? Nah. Ever teased your hair? Bitch I damn well tried in high school because I wanted the ~ l e g i t ~ emo hair, but mine was just too heavy to hold, at least with the hairspray my sister had. Have any friends with benefits? Nah, that's never been my thing. Ever lost of bunch of valuable information? Ummm I don't believe so. I've lost massive RP posts before, but I can't really call those "valuable information." What drinks or food make you hyper? None, really. Most expensive thing you ever bought? With my own money, my snake. She's a champagne morph ball python. What type of toothpaste do you use? Crest. How much time to spend putting on makeup daily? Zero. When listening to a song, what do you listen for (lyrics, bass, beat, ect)? The beat, more than anything else. What is the color of your toothbrush? It's a white electric one. What is your favorite color(s) of eye-makeup? Black. Just black. Are you sexually active? I'm not. Do you have sensitive skin? Very. Are you attracted to several guys atm? I'm actually not attracted to any guys in my personal life atm. How many toilets are in your house? Two. Do you have an older sister? Excluding the one I don't know, I have three older sisters. Favorite song by Owl City? Probably "Hot Air Balloon," but I don't know many at all. What color is your mum’s car? White. Do you truly understand the (LDS) Mormon religion? I don't know what "LDS" means, but as my former best friend developed into a Mormon, I learned some stuff from her in her self-discovery. I don't remember a lot of it, not that I knew all that much in the first place. Where do you keep your kitty litter box? Ugh, Mom's unmovable about it being in my fucking room for some reason. And we have an extra goddamn room no one uses yet. Roman's shit STINKS, like we think something might actually be wrong, but nope, it has to stay in here. e_e It would literally inconvenience nobody if we moved it in the spare room. Are you a lighter complexion than your father? MUCH lighter. He's very tan. Do you like apricots? No. Solid soap bar or liquid body wash? 100% body wash. Bar soap slips so easily, and as someone who lives with another person, I'm not rubbing my body with the same bar my mother uses, no offense to her. Sharing it's just gross. Where do you live (country or state)? Shitty 'ole North Carolina. Do you use plastic, wooden, or wire hangers? I think we have a mix of them, actually. What is your favorite shade of yellow? I only like pastel yellow. Otherwise, it's one of my least favorite colors. Are there any shades of blue that you don’t like? If so, which ones? Ehhh not really. What is something you want to accomplish before you turn 30? God, can I please have a stable career by then. Who has the best decorated house in your town? I don't know. We live in a cul de sac community thing where it's just houses next to houses, so there's a lot to choose from. I don't pay attention to them. What is your favorite part of Halloween? The decorations. Do you feel a connection to the moon? "As above, so below," as the saying goes. What does your heart long for? Peace and contentness with myself. Did you decorate a pumpkin this year? Last year, I didn't. I do want to this year, though, if I can just think of a really good idea. I have to be motivated. What are some fall activities you would do with your kids? I'm not having kids, but I'll follow along, hypothetically. With how much joy Halloween brought me as a kid, I'd want to do SO much as a family with them. Homemade decorations, carving or painting pumpkins together, and hell yeah I'd be taking them trick-or-treating once I felt they were ready and they wanted to. I'd be one of those parents that probably spends too much on whatever costumes they want, haha... Oh, and then besides Halloween, I'd certainly rake leaf piles together for them to jump and play in. This question has brought to mind like ONE thing I could enjoy as a parent, haha. Have you ever seen a fox? I have; besides in a zoo setting, I've seen one or two in the wild run out of sight, and I also found one poor fellow as roadkill that had been disemboweled by I'm assuming vultures. With my whole roadkill photography thing, I literally almost kneeled into a strand of intestines I didn't see at first. :x What color are the squirrels where you live? We only have brown ones. Is there anything about Halloween you find offensive? lol no What do the trees look like where you live? Lots, and lots, and LOTS of pine trees... There are others, but I'm not well-informed on tree species and such. Oh, then of course there are dogwoods (our "state tree"), which are unmistakable because they smell like fucking manure. What is your dream vacation? Maybe the mountains on the western side of NC during the fall... ugh, that would be breathtaking. We actually have an abandoned The Wizard of Oz-themed park around there that allows tours at certain times of the year, and I'd love to visit and photograph there. As well, western NC has the zoo, which would be spectacular to visit with autumn weather and, once again, load up on photos. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? I LOVED field trips. Do you find museums boring or interesting? Very interesting! Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? No. I'm not patriotic enough at all for that. What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? Historically, larger doses of Klonopin can knock me the fuck out. Do you like bath bombs? Never used one, because I don't do baths. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? I'm going to guesstimate you mean less than 1M subs as "small," because I really don't know what you consider to fit that description. I watch a lot of people with less than 1M, so it's hard to say, but lately it's probably been a let's player John Wolfe. He's really funny. Then there's some tarantula YouTubers, along with the animal educator Emzotic... and really just many others. I think most of the people I watch actually have sub-1M, but more than 500k. Who are your favorite big YouTubers? Markiplier is absolutely, positively #1. I also really enjoy Snake Discovery, GameGrumps, Jeffree Star (don't judge me ok, he's a fuckin hoot), and while I haven't watched them in years, Good Mythical Morning will ALWAYS be deeply, deeeeply embedded in my heart. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Ummm probably the Spice Girls? Have you ever used an outhouse? Ugh, yes, at old childhood sports games. What was the last good cause you donated towards? When I cut off like 8+ inches of hair to accomplish the style I have now, I donated it to Children With Hair Loss. My hair has always been mega-thick and healthy, so why in the world waste it? One of my most cherished items is the certificate I got in return many months later that my donation had been used. Have any of your exes gotten married or had kids since your breakup? I haven't had contact with Juan in many years, don't know what Tyler's up to either, and I haven't spoken to Jason since 2017, so. I'm very doubtful he's married or has kids yet, though, just knowing him and how "I need to be fully prepared for this" he is with big life stuff like that. Does it bother you when people get super emotional? Not at all. I'll do my all to comfort them. Have you ever worked in a restaurant? No. Do you get a lot of thunderstorms where you live? Depends on the time of year. Summertime? Brief but super intense thunderstorms every late afternoon. What was the last drive-thru you went through? Taco Bell w/ Mom. Do you know anyone who claims they can see/feel spirits or other supernatural ‘things?’ No. Do either of your parents have a mental illness? My mom has depression, and Mom is also convinced Dad has either depression masked as anger and/or bipolarity, but following the divorce, I don't see it in him at all. He's never seen a doctor in that field to be diagnosed with any mental illness. What fun things are there to do where you live? Jackshit. Do you know anyone with a really poorly-trained dog? Mother of fucking god, yes. My little sister lives with her best friend, and said friend has a colossal black lab named Hudson that is absolutely uncontrollable because she neglects the shit out of him. Won't listen to you even if it saved his life. He jumps on you, barks endlessly, and if he escapes the house? Good fucking luck getting him inside. She has absolutely no right to own a dog with how shitty of an owner she honestly is. When you were growing up, did your family rent or own your home? They owned it. The idiots who were moving in after us accidentally burnt the place to a fucking crisp, and my parents were SO not happy to lose that house because people were dumb enough to place boxes atop the goddamn stove. Do you do meal-prepping? No. Do you know anyone who got preggo less than a year into their relationship? Multiple people, not that that's my business. What did you dream about last night? I don't remember it clearly, other than I was with Jason and his mother was also present. What's the biggest age difference you've ever had in a relationship? That would have been with Juan, but I don't remember exactly how old he was. I just know I was a freshman and him a senior that got held back a year or so in HS. If you could save one animal from ever becoming extinct, what animal would you pick? Probably bees, given how vital they are. Name the coolest thing about one of your grandparents. My maternal grandmother worked at Disney World. I can't remember what her position was, though. Do you ever eat peanut butter straight from the jar? If I want a healthy snack, sometimes I'll have a scoop. Do you prefer your clothes loose or close fitting? They need to be loose. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? This big painting of meerkats grooming on burlap I did in high school. Do you always wear a bra? I question the self-love of anyone who can sleep with a bra on. ;__; Do you normally finish one book before starting another? Oh yes, I can't read more than one at a time. Do you prefer reading books, comic books, manga/graphic novels, magazines, or the newspaper? The normal book. Do you know how to play chess? I don't. Are you watching anything? No, but I do have Manson's "Third Day of a Seven Day Binge" on in another tab. What is your blood type? A-. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you and never returned it? Yes. Do you twitch when you're falling asleep? Dude, I more than "twitch." I can just suddenly spaz out and look like I'm seizing for a moment. Another side effect of my nightmare suppressant medication. Are any of your pets “overweight”? No. Has anyone ever bought you a ring? My mom has bought me a few, and Jason gave me one for one of our anniversaries. Where was the last place you took a bath/shower, other than your own house? My sister's place. What first attracted you to the last person you kissed? Just how unique and happy that way she is. And her pretty much undying loyalty. Has someone ever taken a pic of you while you were making out with someone? No, considering I wouldn't go that far with someone unless we were alone. Had a crush on someone you thought shared your sexuality, turns out didn’t? Yes. What’s your favorite color to wear? Black. Does it gross you out if a guy has hair on his chest? I personally don't find an excess of it attractive, but it doesn't "gross me out." If they bathe themselves just like everyone else, why should it? Do you think sexuality is a choice or not? It is absolutely not a choice. If it was, I'd assume most people would choose to be straight, given phobias, hatecrimes, etc... I could write an essay on this. Do you like industrial piercings? Yeah. Do you think stretched ears are disgusting? "Disgusting" is, once again, the wrong word. Gauges don't really gross me out - hell, I want tiny ones -, but they can reach a size that, to me, is not visually appealing. Did you watch animated Barbie movies when you were little? I do remember loving Princess and the Pauper as well as the Rapunzel one; my sister was addicted to them. Oh yeah! Then there was the Swan Lake one that she adored, too. We usually watched movies together. Do you like fruit in your cereal? Big No. Do you like raw vegetables? Ugh, no. Do you listen to A Day to Remember? I do! They're on my list of faves. Do you like funnel cake? I actually don't. Have you ever been with someone while they were getting a tattoo? Yuh.

[natsukitakama]

Headcanon : Karasuno plays at Animal crossing

Author note : don’t look at me I can’t explain it, I just woke up and thought it would be a good idea. Don’t judge me. Animal crossing is a good game, Haikyuu is good manga so it’s going to be good right ? *blush* I would gladly do some pt 2 about another high school : what about a series ? 

i do not own those gifs credits to owners 

Warning : nothing / Headcanon below since it’s pretty long

Masterlist 

Daichi Sawamura 

He wasn’t interest on the game to begin with 

it’s not like he doesn’t like video games but he wasn’t a big fan of the franchise 

I picture him to be a Sims’ person 

One day he studied with Sugawara who told him about the game especially the craft thing how he has to manage his island blabla

Next day he bought it 

One word : Perfectionnist. He wants everything to be symmetrical otherwise he gets stressed. 

He named his island from his favorite location 

he chooses his hemisphere since he didn’t see the point of lying 

Every resident get a personalized’s garden : all garden are supposed to represent each resident’s personality 

He loves atheltic resident but also one with a sibling personality 

There no much flowers on his island : just originals 

Terraforming a lot : his island doesn’t even look like it used to 

It took him time to get his full house cause he spends every coin on furniture for his island 

his decorative are pretty simple : he got a rank A only because he coordinates his furniture 

his native fruit is apple and he’s pretty proud of it 

He got five starts quite easily 

he always take care of his resident if they’re sick he will craft medicine for them 

if he got a letter from a resident he always make sure to answer with a gift 

He loves letting people visiting his island : he always helps them if they need something to craft something or even give them the furniture they need

He doesn’t buy much clothes he got the same clothes since the very beginning 

he works hard to complete the museum but still miss couple of fish : he never bought art cause he knows shit about it he needs to find aid on internet 

he always help Hinata by sending him item he needed 

Koshi Sugawara 

Don’t tell me he’s not a fan of Animal crossing 

I picture him to play at it since the very first game 

managing an island ? Being a mum to his resident ? Should I give you another argument ? 

He loves it and tries to convince everyone to play at it 

You see those gorgeous pictures on Pinterest ? He is litteralye president of the compagnie 

his island and his house are PERFECT 

a lot of flowers and patterns 

Like Daichi he terraforms a lot so he could manage his island likes he wants to 

defiantly built a residence for his people with a good garden : he tries to make everything symmetrical cause he finds it good for eyes 

he definetly tries to have hybrid flowers especially cosmos 

he loves cosmos : he puts them everywhere on his island 

His house is a piece of art : he coordinates every room, each one has a theme. You definitely need to check his kitchen it’s awesome. 

His house is rank S+ 

When it came to his island : same energy. He’s the first one to get five stars on his island. He has literally created a city on his island 

he bought so many clothes : he got a very stylish character 

He wanted to have only sibling resident but couldn’t force some of them to leave : he felt so sad about them 

he got many arrogant resident but he’s fine with it 

He got a peach as his original fruit : he is so proud of it 

He always has medicine on his picket so he could give it to anyone who need it resident or friends who visit his island 

speaking of friends he loves visit his friends’ island to give them advice or to complete his furniture / cloth collection 

He helps Tsukishima to finish his fossil’s collection 

His museum is full of butterflies but he barely fish since he always have sea bass

He has Raymond on his island and tries to kick him out since he wanted to have Deidre but he felt sad about it

When he found some good outfit on his shop : he always sent a picture go them to his friends so if they are interested by them he would buy it for them (so precious) 

Asahi Azumane 

That sweet boi 

he literally cares so much about his resident : always make sure to talk to them at least twice a day 

he got a lot of arrogant an athlete resident which he’s fine with it even if he felt sad cause arrogant resident are pretty rude sometimes 

His island and house are pretty simple he does not have much imagination 

he puts a lot of flowers and trees especially lily cause he likes them 

He got orange as a first fruit and always have orange whenever he traveled into special island : so he asks his teamates to get all the fruit

he got three stars pretty easily but still stuck at fourth stars and doesn’t know what to do to get his last star

he has crafted a big volley-ball ground with markings : it took him hours to do so 

Like Daichi when he got a letter from his resident he always made sure to sent them a gift 

he doesn’t make a residence but every people got gorgeous flowers around their house

he took too many screenshot : always trying to make a good caption with his resident or with his friends who visit him 

Nishinoya got into his island everyday for advice or just to chill with his friends while being on the phone with him 

He buys a lot of think : cloth, furniture, item and stock them just in case he would need it though he doesn’t have an outfit he just puts cloth 

his house got a rank A : like Daichi he is lucky he got coordinate his furniture cause his house is pretty empty 

His museum is pretty empty too he didn’t know he had to fish and catch insects during some months so he missed a lot of them 

like Suga he always give his fossil if it’s a duplicata

Yu Nishinoya 

The only reason he played at it was because Kiyoko plays at it : he wanted to helps her and getting her attention 

he basically didn’t care about his debt or anything as long as he can help Kiyoko Yu is an happy boi

Well at first 

then he kinda became addict to that game : his own goal is to make the bigger sport complex on his island 

so yeah he terraforms a lot his island has one river and that’s it 

he barely got trees too 

there no space in his island : he completely full them with sport’s furniture  that’s how he got five starts 

His museum is full of fish he gives all his stuff to Kiyoko if he knows she might need it (same for furniture) 

He & Tanaka made a cool Karasuno flag for their island and everyone used it 

Like Asahi he got orange but he is super excited about it cause it reminds him himself 

When it came to his house he tried to made a replica of his own house : he got rank A 

He gets the habits of always being stung by wasp cause he didn’t know he could catch them 

he barely catches insects got it scared him (even in game) 

Suga always sent him medicine cause Yu won't heal himself (he claims he is super cool with it) 

He got an island full of athlete resident and he loves them : he always bought them sport’s furniture 

one day he found a gorgeous kimono and he bought it for Kiyoko but also for Hitoka 

Tanaka got to his island like 24/7 

Asahi visited ofently too 

he barely take cares of his flowers so he got plenty of them everywhere until Kiyoko told him about it 

he bought 5 scooters cause he thought he could use it 

there is apool in front of his city hall : he was supposed to move it like 3 months ago but it’s still here 

One day he caught a turtle and put it on his house : he was so happy to see it move (even if the turtle don’t walk) cause it was like his own pet 

He designed his own Karasuno shirt and wears it all the time 

Daily wrote something for his resident on municipal board : it’s always something to motivate them 

he got a crush on Isabelle he finds her so cute especially when she talks about her family when you’re expected information 

Ryunosuke Tanaka 

Like Yu the only reason he bought the game it’s because he heard Kiyoko talked about it with Hitoka : he thought it could be a great way to get along with her 

he works 24/7 on his island so he could have a lot of furniture for her : basically his island was a mess until he realized he was supposed to work on it 

then he tried to stylish his island without terraforming (he was afraid he might fail) 

Unlike Nishinoya his island got a good amount of trees and flowers (he could thank his big sister for that she used love animal crossing so she gave him some tricks)

He got a pear as a first fruit he couldn’t careless : Kiyoko didn’t need it so

He’ll give his pear to all his friends though : he is not afraid of sharing 

He got Roses and he did everything to have all hybrid flowers so he could offers them to Kiyoko 

He is one of the first to pay all of his debt and unlock the full house yet he barely decorates it cause he knows shit about it : again he asks his sister for help 

He got rank B

Day-dream about having a date on animal crossing 

The only thing (besides flirting with Kiyoko) who excite him is the museum : his goal is to have It full (especially fish) 

That dude failed to chose the good hemisphere so he chooses the south one and got plenty of sharks : every teammates got to his island to fish sharks (except Hinata) 

Teases Tsukishima because he asks him his help to finish his tyrannosaurusaurus but gives it to him anyway 

Despite his lack of taste when it came to decoration his island is pretty good : He craft a big theme park / a municipal pool and a theatre 

His island is 4 stars (he needs more fence according to Isabelle)

his beach are pretty cool : he puts a lot of deckchair and ballons everywhere (to mimic a beach volley ground) 

He bought a lot of cute dress and kimono for Hitoka and Kiyoko 

Despite his hair being shaved, his character got pretty long hair 

His sister got a character but barely plays 

On his east island : he wrote with pattern “Hello motherfucker” he tbought it was funny 

Pretty lazy when it came to weeds : he got plenty of them but never took them off 

Tobio Kageyama 

The only reasons he got to play at it was because Hinata told him about it : he claimed he will make the better island than Hinata 

So basically he bought just to fight him 

People were kinda shocked when they learned he plays at that kind of game cause they fought he was only interested on volleyball which is true 

but he heard Hinata praised about his volley ball ground and how his island is going to be the next volley ball’s island : it just clicked on his mind, Kageyama needs to buy it 

At first he was kinda disappointed he expected something which was volley ball related 

Then he saw all the things he could craft, all the think he could design, the power he has on his resident : he literally loves that 

He got cherry as original fruit and tulip as his first flowers 

Him and Hinata started a race to know who would be the first to have the full house, who would be the first the have five starts, which one got the better rank : everything was about competition. 

Kageyama worked hard on his house and island, he evens check on tumblr and Pinterest to got some good ideas / inspirations 

He even texted Suga about it since he was the first to complete the game 

Like Tanaka he didn’t terraform a lot just a couple of things so he could manage his island on a better way : he basically destroyed all of his cliffs to gain some grounds 

He built a residence for his people and tried to custom their garden 

He failed at making hybrid flowers so he just bought a lot of them and puts it everywhere 

I said everywhere : you couldn’t even walk without hitting a flower and seeing him write on caps “MY FLOWERS”

He got the better rank : Rank S 

but he failed to pay his debt, he is still currently working on the last one 

his island got 4 stars and he didn’t know what to do to have the last one 

He craft a huge volley ball ground with marks he puts chair everywhere to mimic rows : it looks real 

his beach is deserted since he put nothing of it 

he bought the huge Godzilla and craft the big robot because he is nerd (fight me on this) Tsukki used to be jealous about his Godzilla 

He barely cares about his resident : barely talks to them. 

So when they ask him if the could leave his island he is like : yeah ??? whatever dude but feel disappointed

He hates athlete resident cause they speak too much and too loudly he doesn’t know to behave with them. Besides he already has to work with Hinata.

he is a sucker for normal and childish resident 

One day he got a visit from Oikawa Toru and he visits his island as well : definitely the worst day of his life (let’s say Tobio hates lose especially on a “easy” game) 

He decided to start a race with Hinata about filling the museum : he was angry at himself for not being able to fish a stark while Hinata got plenty of them 

He got a lot of sea bass : he hates them 

He never got sting by a wasp : he is super proud about being able to catch them all the time 

He sucks with turnip he always had a low rate so he lost a lot of money but keep buying them cause Tsukishima made a lot of cash because of it (and he’s pretty proud of it) 

He never answers at any letters he got : resident, friends doesn’t care he only send a letter to Oikawa cause he teased him in the first place

He plants a lot of coin to have coin tree : Hinata was so impressed by it (+100 ego boost) 

Won’t admit it but love going into his teammates island while being on the call : he loves how easily he could talk without being ashamed or something 

Plus it gives him a way to tease Hinata even more 

Still sad of not being able to buy milk or yoghurt 

Hinata Shoyo 

His mum thought he could be a good thing to have game to play with his little sister 

he doesn’t mind since it seemed cute it reminds him cartoon 

he doesn’t get the whole point of playing a game which seemed to be an adult life simulation (true Hinata) : then he saw the whole craft thing and how he could do everything on his island 

Then he was into the game 

He got peach and Cosmos as first fruit and flower 

He chooses Southern Hemisphere 

he played a lot with his sister but she just talks to their resident fish and catch some bugs 

He talks about the game with Suga and then convinced Kageyama to buy it just to fight him 

He was the first one to payback Nook thanks to his sister who fish a lot so she has a lot of money and just helps her brother (so cute) 

He tried very hard to have a good house’s decorating but he can’t order different color together he just bought everything he found cool : TV, Sports furniture, Video games. So his house hasn’t got a style. 

He got a rank C much to his dismay 

He made a lot of cash thanks to sharks

he tried to buy turnip but he travelled through times and they were wasted : he never tried to buy it since 

He terraforms his island a lot : so they have 4 parts, each one got a theme. 

He was super hyped by theme park so he decided to make his own one but was super disappointed to not being able to play with it 

He built a huge volley ball ground, he bought a ton of balls 

He puts all of his resident on a big part it’s not a resident though he just gathers them with a big parc so they could sit (it was his sister’s idea) 

finally he got a big part for his house so he could craft his own volley ball ground with a pool and deckchair and his big Godzilla (don’t look for logic there no logic here) 

He has only four stars cause he need to buy more furniture according to Isabelle : nonetheless everytime he found something good he bought it to put it in his house 

he barely bought clothes but will buy some cute kimono for him and his sister (she offers him a hero suit he wears it all the time) 

he used a lot of emotes 

he has a tone of hybrid flower thanks to his sister

he loves athlete resident and he tried to have a bunch of them 

he wrote cute letter and word on municipal board for them 

Him and Kageyama started a race to fill the museum : since he and his sister played at it it was easier 

He loves visit his friends’ island he even asks help time to time

he’ll gladly craft something for his teammates 

Tsukishima Kei

He was the last one to buy the game : he found it childish, he doesn’t get the whole fame about it. To him it was just Sim for children 

Yet he bought it for two reasons : One because he wanted to be a part of the karasuno’s call (won’t admit it but he felt like he was left aside) Two because Yamaguchi told him about the fossil 

You see it coming : His numero one goal was to full the museum with fossils AND to have his own collection (such a nerd) 

He loves the museum and how they present dinosaur : he definitely craft a paleontology’s class 

He got pear as his original fruit and he is SUPER disappointed he expected strawberry until Yamaguchi told him he won’t have it. Definitely about to write a salty mail to nintendo like you could design a coconut (who’s ever wanted that anyway ?) but now a strawberry tsk 

Unlike Hinata, Kageyama he doesn’t feel like he has to prove something : he didn’t take part of the competition between those two but definitely teases them. 

He uses is intellect to predict good rate for turnip : he praised about how he made cash easily and how quickly he paybacks Nook. 

Not joking the dude has a lot of cash : like 4M thanks to turnip

Like Suga his island and house are very organized : each room as a theme yet his are more simple than Suga. He got a rank S for his house 

When it came to his island : it’s incredible how he linked all of his island, he craft some roads so people won’t get lost, each part of his island has a theme as well : He built a marketplace, he got his paleontology’s class, he got his sports’ ground, he got a playground, a gorgeous garden with a ton of hybrid, he even thought about an orchard. It’s very pleasant

He got his 5 starts quite quickly : again unlike Suga he doesn’t put a lot of pattern cause he thinks he doesn’t match quite well with the ground 

He is super proud about his beach’s restaurant

He likes chilling on his island with Yamaguchi or on Yamaguchi’s island : he will give him tips or advise if Yamaguchi asks for helps 

Like Kageyama he never gets stung by wasp cause he’s quickly enough to catch them 

He was so jealous about Kageyama having a Godzilla statue especially when he saw we could interact with it : He definetly bought it and puts him on his beach 

He bought a lot of clothes cause he has styles and doesn’t get the point of having the possibility of buying clothe if we don’t buy cloth 

He tried to act like he barely plays : but it already has 200h on it 

He got Raymond on his island and got along with him quite well : he received a lot of letter from him 

Basically he got along well with Arrogant resident but he loves normal and sibling resident though 

He’s not a fan of athlete resident so everytime he got one of his island he does everything to kick him out 

Won’t hesitate to check on internet so he won’t have any athlete on his island : it reminds him too much Hinata that’s a big no he already has enough with one

His character looks like him : it’s 100% a replica of him it’s very strange at first but his teammates were impressed

One day he bought a crown and sent him to Kageyama just because he wanted to tease him 

Like Nishinoya one night he fish a Turtle and put him on his living room cause it finds it cute 

On his birthday he got a strawberry cake by his mum in game : he was so happy (quite sad it was a furniture though) 

He won’t mind having a date on animal crossing but won’t see the point like “we could literally got to see each other physically” 

[lovelyirony]

Hello. I'm having kind of a shit day ( just found out my sister's hair was full of lice) so if you wouldn't mind could you write some thorbruce? Sorry if this bothers you, I hope you and your family are doing ok

 this could never bother me. I hope that this little story helps! i really wanted something comedic, or at least my attempt at it. so without further ado...a fusion of a thief AU and royalty AU! 

Bruce Banner technically has a career as a scientist. He writes research papers occasionally, helps out with other science projects, and wears smart, science-y glasses. 

And so what if he just happens to make most of his money stealing rich people things like paintings, wine, and other assorted items off of boats and out of houses? Well, that’s extra. Doesn’t even go on any tax forms. 

“You’re gonna get something done to you one of these days,” Tony tells him over margaritas. Tony is one of the rare people who caught him, let him still take the Warhol because “I sure as hell didn’t pick it out, I have taste,” and invited Bruce for cocktails. 

“Of course I am. Maybe jail.” 

“No, not that,” Tony says. “You forget I will be offering my lawyers. They could get the devil himself scot-free. And you’re way better than that guy.” 

“Then what?” 

“You’re going to have to balance yourself,” Tony says, smiling. “And I can’t wait to see you pull it off.” 

Bruce wishes he had more friends like Tony, because unfortunately both Jane and Helen have texted him that he’s screwed for his next goal: Odin. 

Odin is a king who made his whole goal to cover up the shady dealings of his reign, and while his sons are doing better to call it out and bring about new policy ideas now that it is said that Odin will be retiring from the throne, so to speak, nothing has changed yet. 

Bruce knows that people say the next king in line, Thor, is very similar to his father. 

So he’s planning on infiltrating a party. This involves getting a planet ticket to Asgard, sneaking in, and maybe also leaving by boat. He’s not sure yet, depends on how quickly Tony can engineer a self-steering boat. 

(The boat’s gonna be there.) 

“You’re gonna get your ass kicked,” Helen snickers over drinks. “Have you seen his arms?” 

“I’ve heard your ramblings about ten or twenty times, yes,” Bruce says. “For someone who loves their wife as much as you do, you also have an interesting love for Thor’s arms.” 

“They’re buff!” Helen protests. “Jane also nice arms, but they are not buff.” 

“Guilty as charged,” Jane says from the kitchen, rolling her eyes. “Bruce, be careful. And for the love of god, don’t talk to any of them if you can.” 

“Like I would.” 

- 

Thor is very bored with present society. His father has banned all of his friends from attending, Loki has decided to go on their own way in as outrageous of a dress as they could find, in any case guaranteeing that their mother’s attention would be focused on making sure that they had the right accessories. 

There is not one interesting person to talk to. 

Thor is bored. 

This means Thor isn’t so much as paying attention to any sort of conversation and has found one new guest that he has never met before. 

“Hello,” he says. 

The man whirls around. He has curly, nearly-messy hair. Nice nose. 

“I don’t think we’ve met before,” Thor says. “I’m Thor.” 

“I’m Bruce,” Bruce blurts out, because he is a Class-A Idiot. 

Of course he gets caught at a royal function. 

“And you haven’t met me before. I’m a...scientist.” 

Thor smiles. 

“Well, what study of interest are you in?” 

“DNA sequencing,” Bruce says weakly. “And you are...Thor, right?” 

“Yes,” Thor says, smiling. “Did my father invite you?” 

“Your mother,” Bruce says, knowing that Queen Frigga is occupied at the moment trying to ensure that Loki is not stealing all of the strawberries. She cannot possibly come over and confirm his story or realize that she has no idea who he is. 

“How is your night faring, Your Highness?” Bruce asks nervously. He cannot make eye contact. 

“None of that,” Thor says with a chuckle. “That title is...stuffy. Overused. I’m just a regular person who is assuming a throne.” 

“Any plans then, regular person?” Bruce asks in a snarky tone, grinning.

“None that I’m comfortable sharing within earshot,” Thor mutters under his breath, into his drink. Bruce smiles. 

His eyes crinkle up. That’s cute. 

“Good idea. Never know what your father listens to.” 

“Not a fan?” Thor asks. 

“Can’t say I’m dedicated,” Bruce answers with a shrug. Thor smiles, leaning in closer.

Thor’s about to answer more, willing to speak with this man. The night was turning around, and--

Odin claps him on the back. 

“Thor, I have some people you must talk to for the future,” he says, not even sparing Bruce a glance as he turns his son towards a group of the most ancient looking old men Bruce has seen. 

Thor swivels his head back. 

“I hope to see you again!” Thor calls. 

Bruce waves. 

“Probably not,” Bruce sighs to himself. “But I’m sure you also won’t see some of your vases again.” 

- 

In the news, they reported that it had to be at least a three-man job. The surveillance didn’t help, heirlooms had been nicked out of at least six different rooms, and top secret documents had been spilled out into the back lawn, some artfully arranged as if they were reading material for the next garden party. 

Thor has an idea of who did it. Has since his mother confusedly asked “who’s Bruce?” 

He’s clever, that’s for sure. Going directly to the house? Using Odin’s disregard of people he doesn’t think are worth his time? Oh, it’s perfect. 

It would also make a good quality in a husband, if he says so himself. 

- 

Bruce is currently lying on his back at Jane’s house, the sunshine warming him. 

“You’re gonna die!” Helen yells. “You told him your name and you are storing, just casually, a priceless artifact!” 

"I’m not storing it. I just put it back in a museum,” Bruce says. 

“You think that Odin’s honestly not going to get it back?” 

“Nope,” Bruce says. “Because he didn’t change the paperwork on it and it has a loan repayment clause thingy. I don’t know how it works but he needs to pay the museum for it and it’ll be bad press for a while. That and his shady dealings with repressing country public opinion. I think Thor’s up to the plate.” 

He is. Bruce is right. Odin has rescinded his claim on the throne, allowing a coronation to be held for Thor. 

“Are you gonna go?” Jane asks. 

Bruce snorts. 

“And what, risk being detained in Asgardian jail or being murdered? Nah,” Bruce says. “Besides, I probably won’t ever really interact with them ever again. And I have no purpose for being there.” 

- 

Bruce isn’t sure how. But he gets an invitation to go. Well, he’s sure how he got it. Thor remembered him, probably found out that he wasn’t supposed to be there. 

He’s mad. 

He’s from fucking Ohio. He knows that no one is supposed to notice him under any circumstance besides maybe an eating competition or a tornado warning. 

“You have to go,” Tony says. “I’ll be there, I can cause a distraction. Loki owes me a favor.” 

“How does Loki owe you a favor?” 

“They needed some help with executing a perfect red carpet walk a couple years back to ensure they upstaged someone. I don’t know who, but I helped. Loki owes me.” 

“But why do I have to go?” 

“Because if you don’t then Thor’s not gonna stop,” Tony says. “Because if he personally invited you, that means something. It means you’re either going to die or he’s going to make sure he has a very fun time at his own coronation.” 

“Why wouldn’t you have fun being coronated or whatever the fuck you call it?” 

-

Two hours in. There’s been two hours of this. Bruce has fallen asleep twice, and Tony keeps jabbing him in the side. 

“Decorum,” Tony hisses. “If you fall asleep, you’re going to cause a scene.” 

“So sorry that I don’t find this just entirely interesting,” Bruce says, “I wasn’t the one who minored in anthropology.” 

“Majored,” Tony says. “Among other things.” 

“Is this when we couldn’t find you for a year? Like, when you went to California or whatever and had a crisis?” 

“I didn’t have a crisis,” Tony says. 

“Sure you didn’t,” Bruce said, snorting. “You were sad and probably ate five loaves of pumpernickel in one day.” 

“If you keep talking we’re gonna get kicked out, and I want my record of being kicked out of royal events to be kept to a minimum of two.” 

“You’ve been kicked out of two?” 

“One was England. That’s practically a given.” Tony hisses. “Now no more.” 

Bruce falls asleep again. 

Thor catches him in the audience. 

He has to bite his own tongue to stop from laughing. Sif side-eyes him. 

He raises an eyebrow. She looks out into the crowd, sees the man who has fallen asleep. She stills, trying very hard not to laugh. 

“Is that the man you want to pursue?” she whispers as the officiants droll on about tradition. Thor nods. Sift snorts. “Of course you do.” 

- 

The party afterwards is tasteful. People are in a line to congratulate Thor. Bruce is by the appetizer table slowly but surely stealing all of the colby-jack cheese slices. 

“I hate you,” Tony says to Bruce. “You’re a menace to society.” 

“Put that on my headstone, see if my ghost sticks around to cause trouble,” Bruce says. “Besides, I am not paying for any of this. I’m already eyeing the chocolate fountain.” 

Tony rolls his eyes. 

“I suppose this is what I get for bringing you here.” 

“You literally did not have to, I got an invite and you forced me to come,” Bruce says. “And all because I stole priceless artifacts. Ugh.” 

- 

Thor finally manages to escape a long line of well-wishers/want-to-make-sure-he-won’t-do-things-he’s-gonna-do people. 

He finds Bruce slowly but surely demolishing the pineapple. 

“Nice to see you again, Dr. Banner,” he says. Bruce stills, turning. 

“I wasn’t expecting to even meet you today again,” Bruce says, smiling. “How have things been?” 

“I’ve gotten some more space for storage,” Thor says, referencing to the act of stealing and also revealing his father’s less-than-golden past. “Thank you for that, by the way.” 

Bruce stills. 

“You...know?” 

“The queen knows no one by the name of Bruce who is a scientist. You paused. Terrible lie, really. You’re lucky you’re quite good-looking and my father is a fool.” 

Bruce looks at him. 

“I stole a lot of shit from your house and you’re calling me good-looking?” Bruce asks. 

“Well to be fair, I’m just glad you didn’t steal my blanket on my bed. It’s pretty soft, pretty valuable,” Thor says grinning. 

“Didn’t get to see that room,” Bruce responds. 

“You’ll have to come up with me some time then.” 

Bruce almost spills his drink. 

“Are you...?” 

“Flirting with you? Yes.” 

Bruce takes a sip of his drink. 

“Interesting. Although I hardly doubt your mother will be pleased to see you talking with someone who stole things.” 

“On the contrary, she most likely won’t mind,” Thor says, smiling. “Just because she married my father doesn’t necessarily mean they’re affectionate.” 

Bruce tilts his head. 

“So what you’re saying is that no one in your family likes your dad?” 

“Not especially. Kind of a bastard, if you ask me.” 

Bruce laughs. 

“So. What kinds of things does a king like to do for a date?” 

Thor puts a finger on his chin, teasingly. 

“Well I’m not sure. Is it kingly of me to offer a lunch?” 

“I would say I’ll accept,” Bruce says, laughing. “So long as it’s a good lunch.” 

 - 

Tony is gasping in disbelief as he sees Thor put a hand on the small of Bruce’s back, leading him to meet the queen. 

“Only my brother,” Loki says, pursing their lips. “Of course he falls in love with the man who stole from the kingdom and would probably be arrested for about twenty years.” 

“He does that,” Tony says. “Thank you again, for inviting me.” 

“No problem,” Loki says. “God knows I needed someone else to judge the questionable fashion choices people made. Just...ugh. Look at her shoes.” 

“I need another drink to even think about looking at those,” Tony says, turning towards the bar. 

- 

With Thor and Bruce, the kingdom gets two excellent rulers. Bruce is more focused on environment sustainability and education infrastructure, and can frequently be seen leading children all over the grounds of the kingdom, identifying herbs and plants and grinning as they picnic for lunch. 

Thor focuses more on bringing more of the...unfavorable history to light, reinventing what he wants for his country, and leading by example. 

Of course, Bruce and Thor are photographed together getting breakfast, lunch, and on one memorable occasion, in-sync eye-rolling at a United States event. 

(Tony gets it framed for their wedding gift.) 

[iobjectfa20]

Print: ‘Imposed migration’ by Pudlo Pudlat.

1986. Cape Dorset, Nunavut, Buffin Island, Canada.

British Museum

Explanation

This image appears in the current exhibit at the British Museum, “Arctic: Culture and Climate.” The exhibit was prompted by some recent archaeological discoveries in the Arctic, but contains a variety of artifacts and art pieces through a range of eras. Not all the objects in the exhibit are accessible online, but some interesting items I found were an intricately-beaded woman’s coat from 1898, an engraved walrus tusk from 1954, and a snowmobile from 1986. Interestingly, none of the objects from the exhibit featured on the website or in downloadable educational materials featured any of the ancient, recently-discovered artifacts; all appeared to be from the 19th century and later. In addition to the various artifacts displayed, the exhibit also features art from contemporary Native artists. These art pieces came from a partnership with the West Baffin Eskimo Cooperative, also called the Kinngait Cooperative.

The Kinngait Cooperative was founded in 1959 by a white Canadian settler who has been credited with “discovering” Inuit art and a local Inuit artist. There had been a longstanding culture of sculpting in the area, but as the cooperative developed, printmaking, drawing, and painting became more popular. Similarly, Pudlat had begun his artistic career as a sculptor but after suffering an injury that made continuing to sculpt difficult, he turned to printmaking, drawing, and painting as his primary forms of expression. He ultimately created over 4000 drawings and 200 prints. Pudlat’s work has been honored and recognized in a variety of ways. He has been featured on UNICEF greeting cards and on Canadian postage stamps, as well as in a variety exhibits. Two years before his death, the National Gallery of Canada opened a retrospective of 30 years of his drawings, the museum’s the first solo show of an Inuit artist.

I chose this exhibit and this particular piece for a variety of reasons. What initially interested me in the exhibit was the murky moral quandary surrounding the newly-discovered ancient artifacts. They had been trapped in ice in the Arctic circle, and if not for Global Warming, would not have become accessible to archaeologists. I find it interesting that none of these artifacts were pictured on the British Museum exhibit page. Furthermore, to include the work of contemporary Native artists in an exhibit centered on cultural artifacts does not do justice to the value of the artistry itself. Pudlat’s drawing powerfully captures the impact of industrialization and militarization on the environment, and through the environment, on Native communities. The other drawings and prints from Native artist in the accessible materials for the exhibit did not offer such a jarring statement; instead they highlighted the aspects of Native life that many often romanticize. I do not know who chose Pudlat’s drawing, but I think it was a brave choice. I hope that soon, more museums will lift up Native artistry and resistance, rather than exoticize it as an anthropological artifact.

Reimagining and Reframing

The image is a simple one. A military-style helicopter appears suspended against a blank background. From the helicopter hang three animals: a walrus on the left, a polar bear in the middle, and a musk ox on the right. The walrus is hung from its head, the polar bear from its neck, and the musk ox from its belly. I find the polar bear in the center to be the most disturbing. It is emaciated, echoing the photographs of polar bears we see increasingly frequently, who due to climate change lose their homes and sources of food. Its coat is yellowed, another sign of ill health. But most notable is that the rope attaching it to the helicopter looks exactly like a noose. The title of the piece is “Imposed migration,” and the image offers the illusion that perhaps the helicopter is simply relocating the animals. We know, however, that this is not really migration, but extermination. The animals will not survive human expansion and the climate change that accompanies our consumerism and greed. The title of the work also echoes the history of forced relocation of Native people – a governmental policy that did not only result in displacement, but also untold death.

This exhibit serves as an example of the British Museum benefiting from climate change. They can attract crowds (putting the pandemic aside for a moment) with the promise of newly-discovered archaeological findings, without grappling with the reality that those items only became recoverable because of a catastrophic loss of Arctic ice. Native populations are among those most effected by climate change; for example, many still rely on hunting and subsistence activities for their livelihoods, and animals are becoming increasingly sparse, and no longer migrate as far south because of rising temperatures. Exhibiting these new archaeological discoveries in a museum provides no benefit or relief to Native individuals suffering from climate-induced food or housing insecurity. In a telling move, the British Museum intentionally kept the BP logo away from promotional materials about this particular exhibit, although BP is a major funding source for the museum. That the museum simply removed the logo, but changed nothing about the policy of accepting BP’s sponsorship and promoting the company, highlighted that this exhibit was constructed to skirt its moral murkiness, not engage in what could be a groundbreaking discussion of ethics.

Referring to the opening up of the new archaeological site as both a tragedy and a treasure trove, a curator at the British Museum continued, “It’s like the library of Alexandria being on fire ... You’re plucking out these books which are coming out … it’s a remarkable window into life, all coming out of the ground in one go.” It’s not like the library of Alexandria being on fire, unless that fire were in fact an arson set by an invading army who then tries to paint themselves as the heroes in the narrative.

There have been some interesting cases and discussions in recent years of museums returning items obtained through various forms of theft, including colonial force, to the original countries or peoples. Last year, the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City returned a coffin to Egypt that was determined to have been smuggled out of Egypt by a multinational art trafficking ring. Benin City in Nigeria hopes to open a museum in 2023 to display Benin Bronzes in their city of origin, but has experienced difficulty in getting other countries and museums, including the British Museum, to return them. The blockbuster movie Black Panther featured a scene at the fictional “Museum of Great Britain” in which the lead villain comments on how the items were looted from Africa before stealing them himself. The director wanted to shoot the scene at the British Museum itself, and use the real museum’s name, but the museum did not consent. That the British Museum comes up again and again in examples of pleas to repatriate stolen cultural artifacts speaks to how much of its collection was obtained illicitly. I believe that the objects obtained from these archaeological sites made accessible through climate change should be treated the same way as the Benin Bronzes and should be repatriated.

Reading this account by the curator alongside the belief of James Houston, one of the cofounders of the Kinngait Cooperative, that he had “discovered” Inuit art, reminded me of many of the points Gayatri Spivak made in her groundbreaking essay, “Can the Subaltern Speak?” Although she did not use this terminology, she issued a powerful indictment of the white savior complex, famously identifying a dynamic of “white men saving brown women from brown men.” Colonizers give themselves credit for saving Native peoples without taking accountability for or even recognizing the compounded oppression that they inflict on those they colonize. Houston, for example, felt proud of introducing the Native people he encountered in Kinngait to art forms that they could profit from, taking public credit without also publicly acknowledging the role that the Canadian government and the industrialization and capitalism it introduced played in destroying Native economies.

I read that archaeologists felt rushed to excavate the Arctic sites because looters were pillaging them as the melting ice made them accessible. How do we know that these “looters” were not simply Native people looking to hang on to remnants of their culture? I think of the disparity in newspaper captions after Hurricane Katrina, in which White survivors who took food from abandoned stores were termed “resourceful” and Black survivors doing the same thing were portrayed as looters and criminals. What separates the archaeologists themselves from the title of looters? My reimagined exhibit would address these questions head-on. Who can claim ownership to an ancient item? What constitutes theft? How should such an artifact be displayed? If that artifact or piece of art is obtained through some form of violence, how should that violence be acknowledged? What is a just reparation?

There is a long history of museums degrading Native art. The American Museum of Natural History (AMNH) in New York City for example, which primarily features dinosaur bones, animal panoramas, and other exhibits on the natural (non-human) world, has a wing on Native American art and culture. The inclusion of Native Americans in the AMNH is, to say the least, dehumanizing. Native Americans are not Neanderthals. They are alive and could be thriving if not for European settler colonialism. The myth and romanticization of Native ways of living as an older and purer but unrealistic way of life does violence to all the Native people incorporating centuries of ritual into their 21st-century existence. For this reason, I believe that Native art should no longer be featured in exhibits that also contain archaeology; nobody would put an Andy Warhol painting in an exhibit with colonial-era embroidery. Native people deserve the same degree of attention and distinction.

—Mira R

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Death Fake Out Foreshadows, Part 1

Morning Everyone! So, in the vid I did last week, I talked about a wacky theory I haven’t presented to you, yet. I’m going to try and get that theory to you in the next few days. The final part may stray into next week. I’m not sure, yet. But I’m going to give it to you in 3 parts. When I first sent it to my fellow theoriests for their thoughts, it was hella long. So I’m gonna divide it into three parts for you so you don’t get overwhelmed.

This theory formed from doing rewatches of S7 and S8, which I’m still working my way through. As with most things, I could definitely be wrong in my interpretation, but once the theory formed, I started seeing evidence of it EVERYWHERE. But of course there’s no way to be 100% about this sort of thing.

Today, I’m going to talk about the walker (or Ezekiel, if we’re talking about 9x01 ;D) through the floor theme, which I touched on in the video about the Big Spot.

Let’s do a quick review.

The symbol I fixated on was the walker falling through the ceiling at the Big Spot and sort of hanging from ropes or cords or whatever those are supposed to be (his intestines?). See, I’ve always thought that specific thing (walker through the roof) foreshadowed Beth’s arc in some way. But I couldn’t figure out how. I remember actually thinking about it in previous seasons but being kind of mystified. Of course, in a general way we could point to it, because of all the other obvious symbolism at the Big Spot (colors, background items) but I felt like there was more to that walker falling through, and I didn’t know what.

I’d even connected it to the Hole in the Roof theory, which is still viable, but ultimately still quite vague. My instinct on this really wasn’t confirmed until we saw Ezekiel do the exact same thing at the museum in 9x01. In fact, that’s when I first started saying Zeke would get a death fake out, because I immediately connected it to the Big Spot. It’s one of those symbols I’d been keeping an eye for a long time. 

So I was thinking about how to explain this symbol and I had the thought that, while I have no doubt it points to the death fake outs, it’s a little bit strange because we don’t ALWAYS see it. What I mean is, we saw it around Bethyl (Big Spot) and around Carzekiel (museum) but I don’t remember specifically seeing this around Richonne or Glaggie. …or did we? I had this light bulb moment where I went, “wait a minute. Glenn was at the Big Spot, too.” Actually, so was Michonne, but she’s a little different and I’ll come back to her in a minute. That made me think more about Glenn and Maggie in 4x01. This isn’t something new, but I just hadn’t really thought about it from this angle before. Remember that Maggie was supposed to go with them to the Big Spot, but Glenn asked her to stay behind because they thought she was pregnant. It ended up being a false alarm, of course. 

But that DEFINITELY foreshadows 6x01 when Maggie wanted to go with him during Operation Lead the Walkers Away but he asked her not to because she KNEW she was pregnant. So, we have a tie between 4x01 and 6x01, and when did Glenn’s fake out happen? In 6a. My point is that the Big Spot did represent Beth’s death fake out, but it also represented Glenn’s. But not Rick’s. I’ll explain why in a minute. First, let me just give you a few observations that play into this: I’ve often wondered why, specifically, they didn’t put Beth in the Big Spot scene. Obviously, we can tie it to her through Daryl, and you could argue that, plot-wise, it just wasn’t feasible. She was taking care of Judith, not one to go on runs back then, not that close to Daryl yet, etc. But we also all know that they could have written it any way they wanted and come up with an excuse to have her go if they really wanted to. But they chose not to. 

Next, three out of the four fake out couples are represented at the Big Spot (Daryl, Glenn, Michonne). The only one not represented is Carzekiel, which would have had to be Carol since Zeke wasn’t part of the show yet. So, if this was meant to represent ALL the death fake outs, why wasn’t Carol there? (Are you understanding my rabbit hole? ;D It took me a while to separate all the symbolism and work everything out.) Finally, I don’t think Michonne is present in order to represent Rick’s fake out. There were other reasons, having to do both with the plot and her personal arc, that she needed to be there, but it wasn’t to represent Rick’s death fake out. Let me show you why I think that.

Two reasons. I started thinking about parallels between the Big Spot and the museum. There are actually a lot of them, and I don’t mean symbolically. I mean plot-wise. In both cases, we have a relatively large group of people from TF, entering a specific building in order to get specific supplies. And things go wrong. Someone falls through the floor. (Or ceiling). Death fake outs are foreshadowed. You could even argue that in each case, a young man is killed by walkers. (Zack in 4x01 and…um…Earl and Tammy’s son, Kenneth, in 9x01.)

So after many twists and turns and contemplations, this is what I’m seeing. I’ve talked a lot about Gimple’s 15-season arc, right? Let’s divide that arc in the middle, with the hinge somewhere between S7 and S9. It’s probably right at 7x08, given what we found in that episode and that it’s EXACTLY half of 15, but the reason I put the range between S7 and S9, is because Glenn died in 7x01 and Rick didn’t disappear until S9. What I’m seeing is that if we divide the 15-season arc in half, we have 2 death fake outs in each half. A larger one (Beth/Rick) and a smaller one (Glenn/Ezekiel). Beth’s was the big one in the first half of the 15-season arc, with Glenn’s being the smaller one. Rick’s was the bigger one in the second half of the 15-season arc, and Carzekiel will be the smaller one. So, the Big Spot foreshadowed the two death fake outs in the first half of that arc (Beth’s and Glenn’s). The museum foreshadowed the two fake outs in the second half (Rick’s and Zeke’s). Because just as Glenn was also present at the Big Spot, Rick was also present at the museum. And that leads me to two minor, but important conclusions about Rick and Zeke’s fake outs:

1. I think the Carzekiel one will be relatively small. Like Glenn’s. I’m not saying it will be AS small as Glenn’s. His was less than 48 hours. I can see the Carzekiel one lasting for a few days or even a few weeks, but it’s definitely not going to be 8 years, right?

2. I think it’s going to take Rick and Michonne two more years to return to the group. Whether they return in the series or via the films, we’ll either have another 2-year time jump at some point, or perhaps the next few seasons will have short time jumps that add up to two years. 

The point is, it’s another way to connect Rick and Beth’s fake outs. They'll both be absent for a total of 8 years. We saw plenty of 8s around Rick, too, especially in clocks. Think about it. She was absent for roughly 2 years, and then we had the 6-year time jump. With Rick, the 6-year time jump came just after he left, and then there will be two more years before he returns. So, it’s yet another example of a mirror between Beth and Rick, with the hinge somewhere in the middle. This is also why Michonne being at the Big Spot doesn’t matter. At least not where this symbolism is concerned. The death fakeout she’s involved in (Rick’s) doesn’t happen until the second half of the 15-season arc, so that can’t be why she was there. But I said there were two reasons. This next one is gonna sound SUPER random when I first say it. Bear with me and I’ll give you the evidence for it. …It’s complicated to even type out. While obviously the various death fake outs are foreshadowed and symbolized in many ways, and we see those symbols around individual characters and couples, when they foreshadow the death fakeouts like this (Big Spot and museum), in a big group, and more than one fake out being represented at once, they only use core characters for the symbolism. 

And by core characters, I mean the ones who originally came out of Atlanta in S1. So, while of course we saw lots of symbols of Beth’s coming fake out around her individually or around her and Daryl as a couple, when they symbolize the fakeouts in a group like this, they’re ONLY using Daryl (the member of the couple who originally came out of Atlanta) to do it. That’s why Beth isn’t at the Big Spot. That’s why Maggie isn’t there either. I think they COULD have put either or both of them in that scene, and it wouldn’t have really changed anything, but they didn’t NEED to be there. Because they were using Glenn and Daryl for the symbolism there. And why do that? Well, I didn’t originally have anything much more groundbreaking than just that they’re the original Atlanta characters that Gimple built all his arcs around, but I’ll get into that more in a minute. This idea of the Atlanta Four is harder to see at the museum. Because while Carol and Rick are both there, and I think the sequence points to both their fake outs, Ezekiel, Michonne, Daryl and Maggie (along with others) are all there as well. But I think that’s most a plot thing. They needed them there for various reasons, but they specifically needed Carol and Rick there for this symbolism. It’s just harder to isolate them in that scene. I wouldn’t have figured any of this out if not for the Big Spot. And I hear you’re thinking: what difference does it make? The whole Atlanta Four thing is a pretty random claim, right? Especially considering it’s true of the Big Spot, but arguably not of the museum, which makes it a one-time thing rather than a pattern. Well, I have more evidence that they totally do this, but in order to get into it, I need to switch gears and talk about the Bethyl Side-By-Side theme. I’ll do that tomorrow in part 2.

If you want to refresh your self about what the side by side theme is, read THIS THEORY. And tune in tomorrow! ;D

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Types of Cultural Dissemination for Laymen

If you won’t bother reading the profile, and the previous posts, I’m going to introduce myself again. I’m an anthropology major, and short of Calc I for my degree. (which I’m miserably failing and I don’t need). For my BA I focused mainly on systems (racism, sexism, etc), but my true interest is in media exchange with systems. i.e. trade of things like movies, books, and seeing how they are interpreted in the country of origin v. internationally and how they might be reinterpreted, etc with a focus on say... gay people. So say, how Sailor Moon views gay couples and how they are represented versus how say, Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus were made cousins for the sub and why that might have changed for the DVDs. No one was interested in something like this though, since we’re still stuck with Eurocentricism, even though I did a paper for my high school’s senior thesis back in 1999. (It’s been a long road) As such, I know the internet loves, loves to confuse cultural dissemination terms up, and make it super simple, but it isn’t. And last round of me doing this essay had it stolen, so, in respect to that, I’m going to be giving my profs credit for their ideas, so if it does get stolen (again), at least SOMEONE will get credit. (maybe, hopefully). So I tip my hat off to:

 Wendy Fonarow for the basic analogy of the house for imperialism. 

Also Eric Johnston for the physical Anthropology parts of the article. 

Lilith Mahmud for having an awesome class on systems and power struggles.

 Jerry Won Lee for being really good at talking about Korean history and its relations with the US. 

Eleana Kim for doing studies on Korean adoptees and economics of that. 

And James Egan for teaching about Economics and various types of reciprocity and exchanges. (He’d also credit Marcel Mauss’s work on reciprocity.)

I ask, if you don’t credit me for this, you at least keep in their credits. Though it’s pretty much a terrible move to appropriate an essay on the subject of appropriation in the first place. Also, any mistakes made aren’t their fault since I compiled this myself. I apologize to them ahead of time if this is the case. But please please keep the credits. If this essay is so good, to be stolen, at least have respect for them.

Basic terms:

Cultural Dissemination is the spreading of culture to one place to another either by mutual, imposed or invited consent.

There is an essay (which I know my professors would chase me after to cite... but I disagree) about how Nationhood is more recent, so ideas of “imperialism” and “appropriation” are more problematic for time periods roughly before the 1400′s (probably a mistake on the dates). But I’m still a bit skeptical about it being so widely accepted since there’s historical evidence for the idea of sacrificing yourself to the state going way back in human history (They would point to the rise of agriculture, mainly) and the essay is widely Eurocentric with no one questioning this fact. So while we don’t have specific dates for the following things, I’m going to probably simplify it in ways my professors are going to hate me for and mark me down for. But then this isn’t a paper for them. Types of Cultural Dissemination

Cultural Exchange- basically, this is your trade. Someone comes up with a cultural good, you share it with them, and you think it’s a great idea, so take it back and keep it as it is and then give them something in return. Trade, BTW, goes back to Homo Erectus, so humans didn’t invent it. There is evidence in a Chinese cave of rocks from Africa (yes, I know that Africa isn’t a country, but it also got sliced and diced to smithereens, so in respect to that, that’s why I say Africa, the continent) that must have followed a trade route. Granted there is debate whether it was someone traveling from Africa specifically to that location or if it traveled more slowly by local trade. (Credit to Johnston for this). The idea that Homo sapiens sapiens invented trade, and specifically Europeans is pretty ridiculous. We’ve always traded from the beginning.

Cultural Adaptation (as a sub category of Exchange)- If something exchanged is adapted to the country in its own unique way because of exchange over a long period of time, that’s Cultural adaptation of the object. And no, I’m not saying cultures get “better” with this term. There is no such thing, they change, but the needs from that object when embedded into a culture might need to change. So chopsticks and how they are used is slightly different from China, Korea, Mongolia and Japan, so since they became a part of how to eat food, their design is different. (There are youtube videos on why, etc) Cultural Sharing or Cultural Invitation- is one way. (Cultural sharing is used more than cultural invitation, but I think Cultural invitation is more precise). I invite you to learn about how I do things and participate. Like learning how to make kimchi or soy sauce. But I also expect that once you have this knowledge, you won’t backstab me later after all of that emotional labor put in. Cultural Appreciation- Look, don’t touch. Basically the museum model. You don’t try to steal the painting off the wall and then take it home and claim you painted it. You look at how its curated and appreciate it for where it is (Yes, I know about museums appropriating objects... we’ll get there.)

Fetishization of a culture- Basically having a crush on a culture without understanding and accepting the downsides of the culture. Accepting means you can’t change what’s wrong, but can enable people within that culture to change it if they want to. (How to do charity is another essay, though). For example, K-drama fans who weren’t Korean were not appreciative of Greatest Marriage, the drama, because it showed the underbelly of Single Motherhood in Korean society and they rallied against it and judged Korea directly for it, rather than taking a balanced approach to it.

Cultural Appropriation

- Stealing. If people made the word stealing, I think they’d understand it better. There are three basic conditions for this and exacerbation points. It’s not clear cut in some cases. (I’ll get to those) BTW, some would also argue can’t exist before the nationstate... as I said I’m iffy on that considering the history of China which predates most of Europe.... but later.

The three main points are:

History of Imperialization (exacerbation of making it worse)

Mockery of cultural items (or history thereof)

Taking of Sacred objects without invitation of participation or any understanding.

Imperialism -

Basically forcing “help” along the way by imposing one’s culture on another with total disregard for what’s there. (for the context of this essay, though my professors would chase me for simplifying it this way.) Not sorry. Also argued, you need the nation state for this, but I have a whole other essay for why Europe tried to colonize and imperialize the world. Imperializing, though, initially profitable ran out of steam once they came to the Pacific, though no doubt they did a ton of destruction, including the US causing a nuclear disaster in the area. (The irony that the US dropped more nuclear bombs than anyone and has one of the largest programs, yet regulates others is an example of nationalism and imperialism all in one neat package). This one goes to Egan, BTW. People have meltdowns over these things and mix them up, but I put it in a simple way for you. All of these have basic forms of human rules worldwide of emotional intelligence, consent, boundaries, love and respect. What you are willing to share or not share and how, on an individual level should be understandable to everyone. Those rules might change per culture or individual, but it’s basic human intelligence to respect boundaries. And this type of intelligence is taught in kindergarten worldwide (and believe me I’ve watched a lot of those videos--most kindergartens teach emotional intelligence). Got it?

The idea that sharing, appreciation, appropriation, and adaptation are the exact same thing is ridiculous. So let’s get into why this is different since some people forgot their lessons from kindergarten. But let’s get to the next section. An Analogy to break it all down. The initial analogy handed to me was that often White Europeans would go to a different tribe and then try to get them to sell a different tribe’s lands. (Africa and North America and Australia and New Zealand apply here) which is like someone going to your neighbor’s house and offering a bunch of cash for your house, writing up a deed of sale, and then claiming that your house is there’s. This is Wendy Fonarow’s analogy.

What I did, since I got annoyed with how people couldn’t personalize it and thought that say killing 80,000 people isn’t as bad as someone they know dying, was when I was in a doctor’s office, think about how to break it down, since my analogy of the museums and paintings wasn’t working for a group I was talking to about appropriation, and how to extend that to a larger sample. I wrote that essay, posted it, it got stolen (the irony isn’t lost on me), but I’ve improve it since because I’m a fan of extended analogies. In the positive reciprocity model, as James Egan would put it, you give hoping for something close to an equal exchange. But often money is the cut off point for this. This is called “Balanced reciprocity”. (There is also generalized reciprocity and negative reciprocity).

So I’ll go over the set up for the balanced reciprocity models with two families for the terms except fetishization, appropriation and imperialism.

Say, Person X is invited to Person Y’s house. This would be sharing. They have dinner, there, they really like the food. If they look at the art and like it, then that’s appreciation. They looked, but didn’t touch it. Now, say, Person X invites Person Y to their house. They also serve them dinner, then that becomes an exchange. Person Y comes to admire a painting of theirs

Say Person X goes to build a family and Person Y does too. They become the best of friends, and over time, Person X is like, “You know what, I want to give you the painting you so like.” And then Person Y said, “And I’d like to give you the painting you so like.” So they trade the paintings and talk about their history and meaning to them. So for generations both families keep the paintings and keep in contact, but the paintings, as they do, get damaged beyond repair, and being sad, one of the family members tries to recreate the paintings, not as an exact replica, but more like a tribute to it with their own interpretations of what has happened so far. This becomes adaptation. So let’s go over the negative models in analogy. You have Person A, and they really, really think that Person B does not deserve the house they are living in. I mean, look at all that gold. And they’ve heard there is a fountain of youth inside. And they look dirty all the time. Plus they have a beautiful garden they want. Person A, then goes to Person C, Person B’s neighbor and says, “You know what, I’ll give you a bunch of goods and money to sell Person B out.”

Person C has always hated Person B, and Person A knows it, so Person C writes up a house sale slip, even though it’s fake. Person A, living in a different county currently is able to file the house sale. They break into the house, steal the food, wreck the garden, and say the upper floors are all for them. Person B finds out and is devastated, but can’t get the house sale overturned because they have no jurisdiction there. They work from home, but now Person A says they own their transportation too.

Person A starts telling them how terrible they really are. “You’re dirty, you’re angry, and you’re violent.” when Person A was the one that broke into person B’s house. What’s more, Person A moves their family in, who also trash the house and starts claiming that the alter that Person B set up was invented by them and they built it. Then claim all of the clothes are also theirs because they bought it with the house. Person B can’t get the law to kick these people out. How are they less than A? How are they violent? They try to resist, but get taunted and jeered at, but Person A’s family tells them, they can live in the basement--if they want.

Person B’s family has no recourse and no money to recover the house or move--besides, this house was in their family for generations--it means a ton to them. They remember when their great grandfather planted that apple tree which he brought to the property by a tiny sapling. They live in the basement, hoping things will change.

Things don’t change. Person A starts telling Person B’s family, they own the house, and another generation rolls by. Person B’s family is fighting for the house, but law enforcement is ignoring them.

Person A starts saying that the clothes that Person B owned were their invention. That they can do as they like, but Person B needs to adapt to Person A’s way of life, otherwise, they’ll cut off their food supply, and water to the basement, though Person B barely gets either of those. Person A’s family starts selling the unique designs of Person B’s home business and Person B finds out once again, they can’t sue, but they are upset about it. What’s more, they find out that the items from the alter are being sold. So far, it’s imperialism. So, say Person A’s family after generations goes, “You know what? Our bad. You’ll still have to live in the basement, but now we think we kinda like you enough to let you guys have jobs, even though you’re lazy all this time and we can’t understand why you couldn’t make any money.”

Someone from Person A’s family, let’s say Becky, thinks of the poor people living in the basement and starts calling them a great culture that people should appreciate. But when Person B’s family complains about the generational hate they received from Person A’s family and how much that hurt their present conditions because they don’t get heat in the basement, food or water, and they have to fight each other, Becky won’t hear about it. Becky cares more about what clothes are Person B’s family creating now that they can sell to her. She cares about more what types of entertainment they watch. She doesn’t want to hear about how they have barely any food or water and have to live by her family’s terms. Because her family is good and righteous and besides, it was her great grandfather that stole the house and where is Person A’s family supposed to live anyway? Back at Person A’s original house? Unthinkable. The old house didn’t have the garden, the clothes, or Person B’s established business. This is fetishization. If you have no interest in understanding why or who the people are in full breath and their joys and sorrows, it is a total misunderstanding of the culture. Basic rules of consent, boundaries, love and respect apply to large groups of people as it does to individuals. Also, punching people while telling them how great they are, is generally a terrible idea. The fancy jargon doesn’t change that. You don’t go and wreck people’s temples and think you’re a great person. You don’t steal their stuff. And you don’t buy their goods only and think you know everything about them. Anthropology teaches you to ask respectful questions and listen and dive deep. That’s respect. Something if you forgot, Mr. Rogers taught on his TV show. Where appropriation gets tricky

The easiest one is dread locks. The history of dread locks is that they started in Africa, traveled and were shared/traded with West Asians (Jews, for example,) then traveled to India. Some say they started in India. You can read the history here: http://ragingrootsstudio.com/the-history-of-dreadlocks/

So then it strongly got associated with black people, but really, it’s a giant circle. The problem lies in the face that white people (despite white people also wearing them in history) often call dreadlocks “dirty” and “unkempt”. (This is why I instill the rule of if you’re going to judge others, look at yourself first). So this is where it gets tricky... There is also sideways appropriation. Say when Koreans take reggae music, and then say they like it because they relate to the struggles of Jamaicans. (This one makes me squirm personally) Koreans have no understanding of the music dynamics of reggae music, how it relates to the culture, and are appropriating a struggle of slavery that isn’t theirs. At the same time as absorbing Hollywood movies which contain anti-blackness (like the N-word, gangs, etc). But technically, Korea has never imperialized Africa. (There is some history in Joseon and the earlier kingdoms where they cooperated, but you really have to dig to find it). For me, it makes me uneasy... but it’s this wobbly line since there are equally black people into K-pop music that have no intention of learning anything about the culture. (Two wrongs don’t make a right... but still iffy around the corners.)

Then there are the politics with diaspora with some countries too, where say, a Native Japanese says they are “real” Japanese and have NO problem with say a tea ceremony, (even if the details are done wrong), because the country is pushing towards tourism to generate profits, and then the diaspora saying “You’re backstabbing us because you don’t go through a third of the prejudice that we went through” (In this case the internment camps). Because people don’t all think the same. And if native Japanese saw the rise and fall of diaspora businesses, they probably wouldn’t be backstabbing about fetishization. (BTW, this also goes for Korea, which I’m pretty much railing against them trying to push tourism so much because I’ve seen the cost of cultural fads. Chinatowns are looking pretty nasty these days for a reason. And fetishization can easily turn to hate in the next breath and devastate economies.) And then someone say, writing a black person as a white person, which could go several ways. It could be brilliant because they did the research, figured out the boundaries and consent rules, or it could be say... Uncle Tom’s Cabin for the modern era. It’s OK for it to be iffy. Just sort it out. And most of the time it’s better to get an invitation and research and learn than it is to take and say you appreciate it. People want it to be black and white, especially with the European ideals of binary. But also examine and be uncomfortable with the grey’s too. Because everyone is on some kind of spectrum there aren’t clear cut answers the majority of the time. Celebrate that. (Except that the Earth is egg-shaped-ish and is rounder than a ping pong ball and you should always give credit where it is due, because the idea of copyright goes back to the time we were all foragers.)

[zippdementia]

Part 84 Alignment May Vary: City of Lies

For the last few sessions, we’ve been playing through Mirrors of the Abyss, a wonderful glimpse into the insanity of the Abyss and a perfect dungeon for what we needed at this point in the game. But last session I talked about how I could sense my players were ready to get back to the storyline, so we’re more or less leaving Mirrors behind for the time being and focusing on some of my own material. Not entirely leaving it behind, though. We actually start in a secret area from the Mirrors module, an area where maybe the only creature Esheballa’s fears resides, a mysterious figure known only as Abbraxas.

Who is Abbraxas? There are a few demons working behind the scene to topple Esheballa’s crazed rule. Darragor, who contacted Imoaza a couple sessions ago, was one example, though he has since secretly been found out and disposed of by Imoaza. His head actually showed up in the treasure hoard where Milosh found his broken arm, but Milosh didn’t recognize him as he never met him and Imoaza never described that scene to anyone.

But Abbraxas, he’s an entirely different creature with a whole other layer of power to him. Abbraxas served the Abyss long before Esheballa arrived on the scene. I’m not sure Mirrors fully defines exactly what he is. He may be another Demon Lord, or maybe a Demonologist who became exceptionally powerful and poses a real threat to Esheballa. In my head-canon for our game I think he is a piece of Primus left in the Abyss, still trying to make order out of the chaos. Regardless, Esheballa does fear him and his power. It is said he helped her take over the Abyss after the Blood War and that she believes he can undo what he helped create. She knows he still lives somewhere in her realm but she doesn’t go looking for him, not even to evict him. She’d rather just pretend he doesn’t exist and hope that if she pretends long enough it will become true. So Abbraxas has lived mostly undisturbed on the fringes of Esheballa’s game... or maybe it would be better to say he has lived behind the scenes of the game, in between the spaces that Esheballa uses to build her chambers and challenges. The players slipped into that in between space when they traversed the Fossil Wall and now they are on the edge of Abbraxas’ lair, which is the lighthouse shimmering through the thick fog ahead of them.

Ruze leads the way through the fog. He has an instinct of where to go in the Abyss, having spent so long here. Also, secretly, he is keeping an eye on Imoaza. Ever since meeting her, he has been seeing strange shapes flit in her shadows and dance around her, gone when looked at for more than an instant. He doesn’t know it, but this is the influence of the Necronomicon playing on Imoaza, drawing her ever closer to some unknown, unfathomable purpose. Ruze sees only the blurred edges of that purpose and it is already enough to cause him to sweat in pure terror.

Statue Walk

There is a fun little section of Mirrors where the PCs have to traverse an area made up of statues of different aspects of Esheballa, each one representing a different riddle and a different challenge if the riddle is failed. There is a little mechanic involving having multiple maps and having to figure out the right map to use, but I simplify this down into just three encounters with statues, each encounter taking the players closer to the lighthouse. Each encounter is actually two statues that the players can see partially through the fog, and they have to pick which one they which to approach, then solve the riddle suggested by its pose. For example, they see a statue of a little girl kneeling and holding out her hands and a statue of a vulpine warrior. They choose to go towards the little girl, feeling certain the vulpine warrior will just want to fight them. Then they examine the girl’s statue and realize she is not holding out her hands, she is clutching at something near her neck, something missing. They figure out it must be a necklace of some kind and Ruze, who has some gems in his possession from years of wandering the Abyss alone and exploring wherever he pleased, places a gem before her, which the statue suddenly moves to scoop up, and a path opens ahead for them.

This ends up being a fun and interesting section, as the players  first have to debate which of the two statue options I present them with they think will provide the most beatable challenge (or the least painful consequence), then they actually have to approach the statue and see if they can solve its puzzle. I offer a little direction but aside from the final statue which has the difficult ask of giving it something “pure,” they nail it. The first statue is maybe the most surprising, as it is a huntress statue which definitely wants a sacrifice put on its arrowhead. Milosh grabs his new sea monkey buddy and slams it into the arrow, leaving it to writhe and die there in agony. It’s a surprising sign of his character changing, maybe as part of the influence of Illrastayne, the sword of Envy containing a piece of Bitterberry’s (Tyrion’s) dismantled and broken soul, which Milosh has attuned to in order to have a weapon while his gun arm is smashed and broken. Illrastayne has also told him that he knows someone who can fix Milosh’s gunarm, and that “person” is Abbraxas.

A Turning of the Page

It doesn’t take long after entering the lighthouse to tell that (A) it is magically much bigger on the inside than it could be from its exterior dimensions, and (B) someone clearly lives here.

Foremost, this space is a shocking spectacle of the triumphs of alchemy and machinery, as hulking struts, cogs and gears turn astronomical orreries and churn vats of arcane potion. You don't have to investigate to know that the conductor of this place has used unparalleled intellect to manifest this laboratory. In the farthest corner, there sits a stout magician, dressed in silks. He is attended by a cadre of malformed vrocks and other low-level demons while a huge wheel of open books spins for his perusal. He strokes his thin beard and moustache, as he reads, unaware of or unconcerned by your presence. A nervous artist paints his portrait, constantly repainting over his own canvas in an attempt to capture any changed position of the man or movement of his demonic servants.

This is Abbraxas and presently the players address him, asking where they are and have they left Esheballa’s game. Abbraxas tells them that they have left the game “for the moment,” and are occupying a glitch in the realm that he built, a pocket space within a pocket space, undetectable by Esheballa. He also says he can get them home, back to Faerun, but that they need to help him topple Esheballa’s rule. He says the time has finally come for such a thing to pass, because just before they arrived, someone else new came and brought with them the key to change. Unfortunately, he says, that person (whom he refers to as a “she”) became trapped in a world of their own creation, spun from lies that they told themselves. Now she is lost in this “City of Lies” and the companions will need to enter there to retrieve the key.

Abbraxas also tells Milosh that his arm can be reforged in Esheballa’s inner sanctum, where she keeps a fire hot enough to forge even the most magical of items. He gives Milosh a strange mechanical spider looking thing, that crawls into his tunic to hide, and tells him that if thrown into the fire along with his gunarm and certain other key items, the gunarm will be remade more powerful than ever. He indicates the golden crown taken from the Lich and the ruby that Hecate took from the museum as two such items.

With that short scene, the party has a quick discussion about what to do next (and slaps Daymos, still in the Quasit’s form, away from stealing one of Abbraxas’ books... remember what I said about that player wanting to just mess with the world and see what he can get away with?)

Hecate: I’ll follow where mother leads.

Imoaza: There doesn’t seem to be much choice. We either go back to Esheballa’s game-

Ruze: Which I refuse to do.

Imoaza: -or we take direction from Abbraxas.

Milosh: Ah! I believe that the best option is to take the advice of this... man? Demon?

Abbraxas: Yes to both.

Milosh: Man-demon.

Daymos Quasit: It’s not a bad thing to be.

Imoaza wants to ask Abbraxas about the Rod of Storms, too, as it has been radiating more and more power recently, but he immediately tells her not to touch it. “The Abyss is already too fickle a place and this dimension I’ve made more unstable by its very nature. If you pull that out here, you could do terrible damage.” He warns her the Rod of Storms is becoming extremely volatile. It wants to be used by her and her refusal to do so has built up in it a sort of anger. The piece of the elemental that has been infused into it was meant for Aldric’s use, and Abbraxas knows this, but he only shares this with Imoaza in veiled terms because he also knows what her companions don’t: that she killed Aldric to claim this item of power.

“It will reshape history,” Abbraxas tells her. “And sooner than you think. Until then, keep it close and be wary of drawing it out on the Abyss.”

With that, he creates a portal and tells them to find the “marked door” and not to step through any other door lest they end up back inside the game. He tells them that once they get to the City of Lies they should “seek the one that doesn’t belong.” More than that, he does not know, but he can feel that the key they need “doesn’t belong here.” He wishes them luck and they step through.

Choices and Lies

The portal leads to a white stone corridor, lined with old doors. The corridor twists and turns but only goes in two directions, forwards and backwards, with no discernible end point. The players start looking around for a marked door and before long they find one, a door with a massive gash in it that looks like an old wound on necrotic skin. The players hesitate for only a moment, then push their way inside.

They end up in a dark alley, on stone streets with buildings towering over them. Movement in the dark puts them on edge and a shape lurches out at them. They prepare to fight whatever demon is approaching, but it turns out it is not a demon. It is a devil. Hecate recognizes it as a Chain Devil, from her days spent on hell. What’s more, it is drunk. It stumbles forward and peers at them.

“Where the hell, heh, did you come from?”

Everyone hesitates except for Hecate, who strides forward.

“We are emmisaries from the lord of hell! Bound for the ruler of this city! How dare you speak that way to your betters! Do you not recognize this woman?” she gestures to Imoaza. Right on cue, Imoaza summons a disguise to surround herself, black swirling cloaks form to disguise most of her features. The Chain Devil peers at her for a moment, uncertain.

“Give me your name, so I can report you,” Hecate says. At this, the Chain Devil stumbles backwards, stammers out an excuse and flees into the night.

Hecate nods at Imoaza and Imoaza nods back. About as much thanks as a Yuan Ti is going to give, or accept.

While trying to get their bearings, they see a poster on a nearby wall. It reads:

Worship the Queen of the City of Lies. And underneath it is a painting of someone they recognize: Alyss.

What follows is a bit of improvisation on all of our parts. I know who it is they have to find and where he is being taken, but I leave it up to the players to really build the scene and the direction we are going in. When doing this as a DM, I find there is a really simple structure that can be followed that helps keep things moving. Have an end goal in mind and communicate that to the players, then ask what they wish to do next. Whatever they come up with, give them something to push them forward, and then add a complication, so that they have to react to this new obstacle.

In this case, the players know they have to find “the one that doesn’t belong.” At first they think it is Alyss herself, but Ruze brings up that Abraxas said that the one who built this city is trapped here by her own lies and somehow he doesn’t think that fits the idea of someone who doesn’t belong here. This is HER city after all. That’s when Milosh and Imoaza remember Puck and wonder if it is him who doesn’t belong.

To figure out what to do next, Daymos decides to adopt his thought form (he can still do this, even as a Quasit) and flies high into the city sky to survey the area. He immediately sees that the city is laid out in symetrical streets, much like a vast spider’s web, and not far from where they are a group of devils is carrying something in a small cage towards a grand and imposing building. This is a clear goal, so that’s the thing I “give” the players. The obstacle is that Daymos lingers a little too long and suddenly a group of three Erinyes, vicious female devils with whips and magical longbows, spot the light and come to investigate. This leads to another deception round with Imoaza, who claims that the light is her familiar and that she is on her way to interrogate the prisoner (a nice bit of on the spot thinking!) Hecate whispers in her ear that Devils respect authority and so Imoaza plays this up, acting like she is higher on the food chain than these devils. The Erinyes buy it and press down on the cobblestones with their hands, sending a light into it that lights up a path to the prison, that imposing structure. This is a fun bit of on-the-spot description I come up with, where the actual stones change color to “direct” the players to where they need to go.

We continue with this back and forth problem solving and obstacle laying for a while, the players making their way to the prison and talking their way past a disgruntled Pit Fiend warden (who is dealing with problems at home) into seeing the prisoner for interrogation and torture (another good deception!) The prisoner does turn out to be Puck and he fills them in on what’s going on and what they need to do next.

Puck seemed exhausted as the four companions crowded inside his small cell and he began to explain. “The Abyss is chaos. But it is also capable of being influenced by outside emotion. This layer of the Abyss in particular is very susceptible to that. It is built on the broken hopes and dreams of Esheballa and she is not a very detail oriented creature. She’s left holes in the realm, places where the lies we tell ourselves hold sway.

Alyss, she spoke to you of her past, yes? She told you she was the queen of an age, long ago, when the followers of Asmodeus ruled the land. It isn’t true. It is a lie she told herself. I know, for I am Asmodeus, or what was left of him after the Blood War ended.

“My body was all but destroyed in the attack on the Abyss. Even in my death throes I was able to strike down the last of the demons, but I could not escape the Abyss except as a thought, a belief. I found a home in the City of Ghosts, on Hell, where all the unclaimed lost souls go to wander. And there, my most fervent believer found me. Alyss gave me shape again. She knew what I was from the start and plotted to get me off of hell and back to the Abyss, to reuinite me with the remnants of my body somewhere in the void. That’s why she redirected your ship. That’s why she brought you to Hell. To rescue me. Only now, she needs rescuing. The lie Alyss told you is one she told herself for a long long time, to shield herself from the pain of the truth. That truth is buried deep inside of her and you must now find it, force it to take shape on this plane, and confront it.

“You’ll need to take me with you. If you can find Alyss here in the City of Lies and bring me to her, I can get you inside of her sleeping mind. We’ll only have one chance at this. I can only do this once before my power will be finally spent. If you do not find the truth then the lie will reign forever and this City of Lies will become the only truth Alyss knows.”

A Sad History

Puck turns himself into a beetle and crawls inside Milosh’s tattered tunic, reminding him they need to get close enough that Puck can make physical contact with Alyss. Then the party heads out again to find her. They bump into the Pit Fiend again and Imoaza gets the idea to ask him where Alyss is. The Pit Fiend, bored with manning this prison and impressed by another good roleplay and deception roll by Imoaza, decides to take them to Alyss, whom he says is preaching at her church. He summons a light into his hand and presses it into the floor, much like the Erinyes did, which lights the way to the Church of Eternal Sin, where Alyss holds court in this world.

When they arrive at the church all hell breaks loose (if you’ll forgive the term). Alyss recognizes Milosh and Imoaza and realizes why they are here. She demands that her congregation stop them and suddenly the whole party finds themselves facing a mob of 80 cultists, Alyss four bone devil bodyguards, and the Pit Fiend Malphiss, who is overjoyed to have something to do.

Combat is swift and dynamic. Daymos turns invisible and flies towards the ceiling, avoiding the mess altogether. Milosh rushes forward, using misty step and the dash action to begin to cross the huge 200 foot long expanse of the church, rushing for Alyss. He gets stopped by a horde of cultists, who tear at his metalic skin and claw at his tunic, nearly knocking Puck from where he clings to Milosh’s back. Milosh draws Illrastayne and the raspy voice of the demonic version of Tyrion rings out in gleeful song as he directs Milosh’s sword arm to cut down cultists and clear a path to Alyss. Ruz also flees, using his own teleportation magics to avoid the crowd, who is distracted by Milosh, but then he comes face to face with the Bone Devils. He begins summoning magic, throwing balls of fire and acid and magic missiles while the Bone Devils dive at him with deadly poisoned scorpion-like tails and vicious razor sharp claws. Alyss begins to chant and a summoning circle appears in the middle of the church and large, indistinct shapes can be seen forming inside of it. 

Hecate and Imoaza, meanwhile, are facing down Malphiss, the two sharing the split version of Drosselgreymer, mother and daughter darting in and out of Malphiss’ attack range, slicing the Pit Fiend and spilling his foul blood on the church floor. But the Pit Fiend finally catches them and with two mighty blows demonstrates his ungodly strength. The Yuan-Ti retreat, but Malphiss isn’t ready for them to go. He summons a wall of fire, cutting down several charging cultists as he does, and the wall essentially traps the pair, creating a fiery arena which he lopes into gleefully, happy to finally face a challenge... especially since he knows it is one he will win.

This is one of my favorite moments of the fight. So much suddenly happens at once! Milosh breaks free of the cultists and charges Alyss, slamming into her and grappling her. Puck runs out and latches onto her neck then psychically cries out for everyone to touch Alyss or be left behind. Daymos swoops down at Ruz and casts a haste spell on him, then clings to him as the now twice-as-fast Ruz breaks free of the Bone Demons, barely avoiding attacks of opportunity, and long jumps onto the stage where Alyss and Milosh are grappling, grabbing her wrist. Imoaza yells for Hecate to hold on and she grabs her daughter then pulls free the grapple hook she got on the planet of air, firing at a high balcony railing that overlooks the church interior. She pulls her and Hecate out of the Arena as the Pit Fiend moves forward to slice them down with a fiery blade. They reach the railing and three cultists try to cut them down, but Hecate wraps her snake body around the railing and fights them with both her hands free, slicing with the sickle version of Drosselgreymer and firing at the with her gun arm. The Pit Fiend follows and Hecate screams at Imoaza to leave her and go join the others, that if she doesn’t do this they are all dead anyway. Imoaza feels suddenly concerned for her daughter, an unusual feeling for her, but listens and fires her grappling hook towards the stage where everyone is gathered around Alyss. She soars towards Alyss just as the Pit Fiend reaches Hecate and prepares to tear her apart. Imoaza grabs Alyss’ hand and shouts “Now!” Puck uses his magic and they all deep dive into Alyss’ mind and memories.

And suddenly all the PCs are handed level 2 character sheets and told to chose one to play. There is a Dwarven Cleric, a Halfling Rogue, a Drow fighter, and a Human Paladin.

What’s going on here is that the players are actually replaying history. We’ve had a few moments over the course of the mega-campaign where similar things have happened. Karina, Trakki, and Tyrion all dove into Rayden’s mind to figure out the truth of Karina’s time in the War of Forgiveness, for instance. This is very similar, only here the PCs can’t change history, they just have to survive it.

The situation that is set up for them begins in a cornfield, at dusk, outside of a farmhouse. The PCs are all part of a mercenary group, led by the Halfling Rogue (player choice on this). The rogue has a letter, instructing them that a young noble girl named Alyss was kidnapped thirteen months ago by cultists of Asmodeus. She has been spotted recently in a neighboring town and reports have suggested she is being kept here. She is also said to be heavily pregnant now. The group has been hired to recover her if they can, though there is rumor that she has been brainwashed beyond repair by the cultists. The baby is to be brought back at all costs. It is of noble birth and the family wants their potential heir to be under their care. The letter is signed simply “Z.”

I set this up with a number of different possible approaches. The house has cultists in it, and the PCs initially try to sneak up to that, but they are spotted by a strange tall man sitting on the farmhouse stoop, with glowing eyes (he is actually possessed by a minor devil). He chases them off with some choice words and the PCs then decide to avoid the main farmhouse and instead focus on a barn on its outskirts. They break in to find the barn full of zombies, which they dispatch, and then they discover a secret door in the floor that leads into a small trapped dungeon. They avoid the traps and come to its final room, interrupting some kind of summoning:

The room’s floor was totally covered in a complex pentagram, inscribed here and there with powerful runic sigils. Surrounding the pentagram were red robed cultists and in its center lay the noble girl, Alyss, naked from the waist down and moaning in the throes of childbirth. She was not bound, unless it be by invisible chains, but she gave no sign of being able to fight back, either. Her entire attention was concentrated on the birth, her screams and cries punctuating the chanting of the robed clergy. Blue flames floated about the chamber, illuminating everything in an alien light.

One of the clergy stepped forward, his face covered by a complex mask shaped like a devil’s visage. “Interlopers,” he hissed. “Your presence befouls this sacred place!"

Then another voice spoke, seeming to come from within the pentagram, though it was not Alyss: her cries still rose above the deep, sepulchral command: “KILL THEM.”

A fight of course breaks out and actually some of the characters do die... though whenever they do, it is like a glitch in time: they come back to life with full health as if nothing had happened. That’s because that isn’t how it happened in the true past. That doesn’t mean it is without consequence: the bodies of Imoaza, Daymos, Ruz, and Milosh are all taking damage back in the Abyss, as psychically they channel the pain of these second level mercenaries here in Alyss’ memory.

But eventually history wins out, and the PCs are victorious. The cultists are defeated. And then we see how history played out.

See, Alyss was never truly ruler of a great satanic cult that lived “ages ago,” as she had claimed to the group. She was as was depicted here: a young girl of 19, kidnapped from her family and brainwashed into thinking she was meant to be the bride of Asmodeus. In a satanic ritual she was impregnated with Asmodeus’ seed, and planned to give birth to a baby that would rise to command the cultists.

But instead, a group of second level adventurers found and disrupted the birthing ritual. As they killed the cultists around her the head of this branch of the clergy, the masked cultist, used his last breath to dive into the pentagram and stab Alyss, mortally wounding her. At that moment, the cleric of the party was killed, as Asmodeus released his rage at what had been done to “wife” in a flurry of psychic energy. In the same instant, the baby was born, a deformed thing with skin of purple, two horns, and a long tail. Nevertheless, a job is a job and they were ordered to bring the baby back The Paladin snatched her up and backed out of the room as Alyss bled to death on the floor, her final cry following after them:

“No, you can’t have her! You can’t have my Karina!”

Passing On

This is a big reveal. For those who have not been reading since the beginning (and even for those who have, it’s been a while), Karina was one of our original cast of characters, played by Morganknight who has since played Nysyries and Imoaza. Karina also was the only character to survive the entire first arc and the Haggemoth campaign before being retired to take a bigger role in the overarching plot. The question of her parentage is one that originated from the very first session where, as an offhand question, I asked the player “who are Karina’s parents?” I still have my notes from that first session, where I jotted down her answer in the margins: “I don’t know.”

Figuring out Karina’s backstory has taken literally years to come up with and connecting her here to Alyss feels so perfect, both in terms of explaining her powers and devilish heritage (she is a direct descendant of Asmodeus) and why she was so important to the fate of our world. And it takes a side character, Alyss, whom the players have enjoyed as an NPC for a long while, and makes her much more complex and complete.

Sadly, while the rest of the party has a lot to appreciate about the reveal, Daymos’ player talks to me later and says that this is his sign it is time to pull out of the game. This moment seemed so big for the other players and he says that he “felt no connection to it.” It is the clearest sign he and I have both had that story isn’t his motivator, or at least not this story. The discussion that follows confirms a little of what I talked about last post, that playing for a narrative reward doesn’t really work for him and he feels like there is too much consequence to any action he may take, because it could throw off a story that the others are so deeply invested in. I had hoped, like Ruz’s player, he would find a way to join them in that investment, but it wasn’t able to happen.

So Daymos leaves the table. The character still remains, though, and has been changed in interesting ways by this player’s decisions. Those decisions will change the shape of the story as originally envisioned and lead to some intriguing possibilities a little later on. For now, though, the party still has a game to play, to put An End to Demons.

[sierratheory]

Admin Opinions Masterpost

As promised this will be the master post that contains all of our opinions for the current situations involving 5SOS. That would be Mystal, Lierra, and Kayshton. If there is an opinion you are looking for that you do not see on this post, feel free to ask and we can add it to this post. To keep this as clean as possible I will break this up with a read more line.

OWNER

Mystal - They're absolutely PR in my opinion, for a lot of reasons, but just to name a few of them: Crystal uses Michael for constant promo schemes, the engagement was literally staged and planned by Guess (despite whatever story Crystal is trying to spin), and she's literally far from the only other "influencer" to have done this recently. Nevermind the fact that Michael sounds more enthusiastic talking about literally ANYTHING but his supposed engagement. Couple goals uuuwwwuuu, am I right? 

Lierra - At this point, nothing will change my mind about them being PR. The story has a lot of holes in it, the biggest that comes to mind at the moment is the fact that we're supposed to believe that Lierra has been a couple for over a year now...Meanwhile, in early to mid-2018, she was constantly pining after Luke in a way that a FAN would, not someone you're in a relationship with. By this, I mean that she was only ever active on IG at the same time as him, and she'd constantly follow and like everything that he did, in an obvious effort to appeal to him. As well as stirring the pot of speculation among fans who were wanting to know if they were dating, by buying clothes eerily SIMILAR to Luke's, in order to make fans think that they were sharing clothes. Many fans were fooled by this. Or the fact that she literally ran a bogus IG page (grandebaby13) to push dating rumours about her and Luke. All the while she spent so much energy previously, trying to reassure fans that they were, "just friends." Like if they were real, and they agreed to be private, then she wouldn't have been trying to force rumours. Point blank. 

Kayshton - Completely undecided for me at this point. On one hand, they seem like the most real out of all three couples. But the fact that it seems like she's only started to get steady work/make an effort in her career since going public with Ashton, and that one pap walk with the suspicious leaked video footage (with extra photos being released a couple of weeks later out of the blue), really makes me a little bit wary of saying they aren't PR. Only time will tell, but for now, I'm fairly neutral but open to the possibility. 

BLUE

Lierra: As obvious as it may be, I feel Lierra is PR. There is a small part of me that believes they could be real and Luke’s vulnerability post-Arzaylea could’ve been abused, but that theory is strictly an opinion and there’s not a lot in my eyes that proves they’re a real couple. I feel their relationship began too quickly in terms of how it progressed from friendship to a “soulmate” scenario being as she was “besties” with Ashton first. The timelines don’t add up to me and I feel like it’s been proven she’s gained quite a large fan base because of her relationship with Luke and it will only grow from here the longer they’re together. She also uses her relationship for work-related gigs (ie, FoF), despite not actually releasing any music that is hers or music that is no longer associated with the Essy stage name.

Mystal: I’m conflicted with Mystal. I see both sides. They seem to be a cute, more well-rounded couple, but I also see the issues that lie in Crystal and how she controls Mikey rather than being supportive and/or more like a fiancé. I think either way the relationship is slightly more bearable than others that have come through. I feel like Crystal is an independent woman who does what she can to make it in the industry which is admirable. The engagement through me for a loop, especially with how publicized it was with the relation to GUESS and such, so I’d say I’m more on the PR side of things, but them being real wouldn’t shock me.

Kayshton: I’m so undecided with this one. I’m thrown off by the DM exclusives, but they seem to be low key and chilled out. I like KayKay, she seems sweet and apart from a few of her friends that are sketchy, I find her pretty down to earth and humble. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were real, nor if they were a filler PR for when Lierra ends, but either one of pretty probable.

RED

Mystal: I used to think Mystal was super cute. But once I learned things about Crystal’s past behaviour and the way she manipulates fans and treats people I started to see her true colours. I fully believe Mystal is PR. Not only do I find the timeline of how their relationship allegedly began to be suspicious, but the major changes to his personality and how he portrays himself are also suspicious. Not to mention the complete control she has over his social media and image as a whole. How she garners herself and others partnerships (Adidas, Guess) based off of his fame. She even used his social media accounts as an example of her PR skills on her now empty website.

Prior to Mystal, I’d never seen a couple sell their engagement or get a full press in a magazine about it. Weddings? Yeah, those are planned months, sometimes even years ahead. But engagements are supposed to be a romantic surprise. I have no doubt Crystal orchestrated the entire engagement and the full spread in People, or whatever magazine it was. I personally can’t see Michael selling that personal private moment, but I wouldn’t put it past Crystal. And no offence to 5SOS, but they aren’t like Justin Bieber level famous, they aren’t A-List celebrities, so I find it doubtful that Guess or People approached them about the engagement. I also worry about Michael’s mental health. It concerns me that so much of his life outside of the band revolves solely around Crystal and her social circle. Even if I thought the relationship was genuine that would still concern me. It has been said that Michael gets bad anxiety and doesn’t like huge crowds and that’s why he stays away from outings and parties with the other band members but like, he’s done DJ shows in packed clubs with the guys (recently) and Crystal throws him huge parties for his birthday. But then he misses band outings the museums where they take pictures and do promo. He went to Coachella with Crystal but wasn’t seen at all with the guys. It just seems very strange to me.

Lierra: In the beginning, I wanted to believe Luke knew Sierra was using him for publicity but was okay with it because they were friends. But as time went on and I learned more about her lurking and gassing up rumours about her dating Luke I grew more and more uncomfortable about her presence. If they had wanted to keep their relationship private she shouldn’t have been posting little hints to get people talking. If they had wanted to keep their relationship private she shouldn’t have created a fake IG account to push dating rumours. If the relationship was real that’s all toxic problematic behaviour. The relationship may not be real, but Sierra’s manipulative behaviour is.

As a Luke girl, I try to support him in his choices and relationships. But Sierra’s behaviour and specifically her comment about depression leave me struggling to like her as a person. There’s a lot that makes me think the relationship is orchestrated by Modest! The comments on every one of her Instagram posts (except the birthday one which is an odd one to exclude) even if he’s on stage at the time he allegedly comments. The pap photos. Even the timing of their relationship announcement. It came at the height of Youngblood (the single)’s success just as the album was released. When people were paying 5SOS the most attention. How anytime there’s a band-related announcement something happens in Lierra-land. If you wanted to keep your relationship away from public speculation why announce its existence when the band has the most attention it’s ever had? Why not wait until some of the hype dies down?

Don’t even get me started on her lack of drive or motivation to do anything with her life/career other than being known as Luke Hemmings’ girlfriend.

Kayshton: Ok, so I have a bit of an odd theory for this one. I honestly do believe at some point at the very least, Ashton and KayKay were an item. Whether they were exclusive or how long they lasted we don’t really know. But there’s enough proof from interviews and other interactions that at some point there was something and it appeared to be a bit on and off. All four of us agree there are some odd things about Kayshton, like the pap walks and HQ pictures and videos.

My theory is that perhaps they were/are a couple and Modest! forced them to be public with it, and are giving us these HQ photos and pap interactions/DM articles to throw us off. So that people who claim Lierra‘s pap pictures prove they are PR are discredited because Kayshton is real and also has these HQ photos and pointless DM articles. Almost like a red herring, a distraction. To make fans think that since Kayshton is real and they get papped it’s totally normal and therefore Lierra is real too.

[lula1991]

My Jewel

Summary

 An ancient spell causes a millenary young lady to weaken, it is up to Larry and her friends to help her find the key to return her to normal while a stranger pretends, along with three already known individuals, to take over a captive jewel somewhere in Egypt with the in order to proclaim it “yours.” (The shock of all the chaos in her).

 Objective? The guard and the exhibits must prevent it from falling into the wrong hands while between Ahkmenrah and the girl, a romance will slowly emerge that will bear fruit over time.

Genre: Adventure, comedy, romance, fantasy

Warnings: None.

Chapter 4

  Our little girl was going around the museum looking for the "tree" that was with her a few minutes ago but did not find much, until Larry showed up at the right time ..

"Larempteh, do you need help?" Larry asked somewhat unfocusedly watching as she looked for something she couldn't find.

"Hi Larry, have you ever seen a tree walking around here?" Larempteh clasped his own hands with Royal delicacy.

"A tree? That sounds weird .. ”Larry chose to cross his arms trying to analyze the girl's restlessness.

"It is .." Larempteh said.

"And how was it?" Larry asked.

"Well, he was short and had a rather peculiar accent, as between French and English." Larempteh described the subject  while still thoughtful.

“French and English? A quite striking mix. For a moment Napoleon came to mind trying to talk like that ..” Larry commented.

"Who is Napoleon?" Larempteh asked.

“He was Emperor of France. Well, but keep telling me ..” said Larry.

“It was very strange. He claimed to be a bonsai and be called Chang, although the bonsai are from China and according to him, he learned to speak French during an exhibition at the Department of Flora Conservation in Paris. ”Larempteh explained but she still didn't close any of that talk.

"How crazy!" Larry exclaimed in surprise.

"Too much!" Larempteh stressed and then left a little left in his thoughts. "Maybe I should downplay it, what do you say?"

"Maybe, but .." Larry paused cautiously.

"But .." Larempteh kept a smile of knowing the meaning of the word. "I know, I must be careful." She said with good energy at last. "I have heard the rumors that Ahk's brother can return from the dead and is somewhat bloodthirsty." The queen spoke quietly for safety.

"Kahmunrah. Yes, he is only an extravagant character but nothing harmless. You must take care more than anything for his army. I may be willing to go back to Ahkmenrah's table. ”Larry predicted and at the comment the girl began to laugh spontaneously.

“Army, which one? Nobody told me anything. What is a kind of alliance or how..?” Larempteh wanted to know to be more careful.

“They are quite clumsy because they are the most detestable villains in history. They are nothing more or nothing less than Ivan the Terrible, Al Capone and Napoleon Bonaparte. ”Said Larry.

“Are you serious, Larry? How crazy! ”Larempteh couldn't believe it at all.

"Yes, even if you don't believe it," Larry said without further ado.

"Who would say it .." and Larempteh was thinking with a smile of not falling into what he heard. "A picturesque, despicable and megalomaniac pharaoh, a dwarf with complexes, a ruthless Russian and an extremely scary Italian gangster, together?"

“I know, I know, it sounds pretty paranoid but it happened. Some time ago I had to fight them together with the boys. So you have to be cautious in speech and in the information you give.” Larry said.

“That's why I'm looking for that tree. It left me somewhat restless. ”Larempteh shook his head, removing thoughts. "But what..! I must remember that all this happens due to the power of Ahk's tablet and even the bushes usually come to life, I think .. ” she was thoughtful. "But if he was sent to the underworld, it is impossible for him to return without the help of the tablet." The queen sounded convincing.

"It's understandable too, although remember to be careful, Larempteh." Larry used a warning tone was very fatherly. He was beginning to take love as much as Ahkmenrah.

"Yes thanks. Maybe I'm chasing myself a lot. ”Larempteh put that issue aside to go back to another that was somewhat worried. "Larry, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, what's up?" Larry said.

“Nothing, it's just that since I arrived there are no papyrus records regarding my parents' reign or information on where they are. Do you know if they are in a museum near here? I need to see them. I haven't done it for 4000 years and I would like to meet with them. ”Larempteh seemed worried.

  From his tone of voice it could be said that it sounded like despair but it was a mixture of many things, a little hope for the answer, a little disappointment due to a hard blow for a no. Anyway, she had a storm inside her ..

"Larempteh, I want to help you but even working here I don't think they can give me access to that request you want again ..." Larry felt guilty and upon hearing this the girl was a little sad. "I'm really sorry because I would gladly do it, you're really a great girl just like Ahkmenrah, they're both good guys and .." Larry stood up, wanted to continue but her interrogative look didn't leave her.

"Yes ..?" Said Larempteh.

   It was something curious to be the exhibition of an Egyptian mummy returned to life, Larry could not contain himself and resumed the thought that was pending ..

"And you make an adorable couple and deserve to be together." Larry took that comment by surprise.

"Do you really believe it?" Larempteh said very seized.

“Really, both are great, jovial and very intrepid. Yes, of course you deserve all possible happiness. I still don't understand how it is that you are not yet .. ”Larry added.

"Yes, he is a great pharaoh already ascending and me too .." there was a hint of something else to glimpse, the girl was very transparent and that Larry noticed but preferred not to add comment. He had to respect his privacy. "Thanks Larry, except for the fact that we are both very friendly, I appreciate your praise from that perspective towards us .." The little girl answered her why in a good, genuine way.

"I did not know. I, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude .. ”said Larry.

“No, no, don't worry it's fine, you didn't have to know. You know sometimes things happen that way. ”Larempteh's voice denoted a bit of neutrality, hidden anxiety perhaps, as if his gaze lost some brightness at the mere idea that this long decree would come true. She was looking for an answer that her friend Larry couldn't answer beyond what he said, maybe a sign? but the queen was not to be excited even though her heart gallops like one of the many horses her father's kingdom had every time she heard young Ahk's name as her old future? pending. "In fact, we may be friends until proven otherwise." She was mature and with a spontaneous talk." Larempteh said simply.

“I am sure it will be, Larempteh. Just time to time. ”Larry advised her and she took it very well.

  But something rocked Larempteh's existence again, she was trapped in that trance where she lost her balance a bit and Larry was able to sustain her in time..

“Larem? Larem, are you alright? ”Larry worried holding the girl's arms.

"Who?" Asked a disoriented Larempteh.

"It's you." Said Larry.

"Who are you?" Said Larempteh.

"It's me .." said Larry.

"I don't know you .." Larempteh said looking at him with a strange fixation, the girl seemed lost.

  The guard was worried due to the sudden state of the girl, it seemed that she was not only tortured with a hypnotic trance with temporary fades but also produced a slight amnesia ..

"Larempteh ..?" Larry asked watching the girl while she was still a little absent. "Larem .." the guard snapped his fingers causing her to react from that confused state. "Larempteh, are you alright?"

"What happened?" Larempteh asked slowly returning to himself.

"Larem, you didn't recognize me." Larry said.

"What..? Did I do that? ”Larempteh said.

"Do you at least remember it?" Larry asked as she shook her head.

"No, nothing. ‘Nut’ (‘Heavens’). I'm sorry, Larry, I don't know what got hold of me .. ”Larempteh held his head processing what happened.

"All in order? It seems as if you had aged 300 years .. ”Larry saw how she regained her stability.

"All in order. Yes, I'm fine. ”But Larem wasn't quite sure, one thing was wrong.

"Don't fool me, Larem." Larry tilted his head pressing the girl to speak for her sake.

“You know me very well. What, I was very obvious? ”Said Larem.

"Well, your trance would scare anyone .." Larry mentioned.

“Good, okay. I can't hide anything from you. ”Larempteh gave up before a sigh. “Larry, you better know this. A little less than a few minutes ago before I was talking to you, the same thing happened now, except for the amnesia thing. Suddenly I felt like I was going to fall and then I didn't fall. How a strange magic in the air .. ”

“Wait, it makes me familiar. Larempteh, I would like to know if you have any precious item that has been corrupted at this time by an essential fault .. ”Larry wanted to know and she frowned.

“Wait, wait, object ..? Corrosion? What are you talking about, Larry? ”Larempteh was confused.

"A possession." Larry said at last.

“A possession? How of what kind? ”Larempteh asked.

“Yes, just as Ahkmenrah has his tablet, you must have something similar. Some talisman, you might even have a tablet too. ”Larry said simply.

“No, I don't really remember it very well but no, I didn't run with that luck of containing a tablet. I only have this necklace that is considered a talisman but it was not what caused me that discomfort, I think so. Maybe it could be that .. ”she was thoughtful on alert. "Larry .." the queen took her hand instinctively.

"What happens? I'm something big for surprises .. ” said Larry.

"It's late! Yes there is something, a jewel. It's a bracelet, but I don't have it with me. I just don't know what happened to him after Cambridge managers transferred me here, nor am I sure what the right cause is for these symptoms. ”Larempteh sounded convincing.

"Then we'll have to take you to her to find out." Larry said.

"You mean go to my old home in Cambridge?" Said Larempteh.

"Yes." Larry said.

"No Larry, forget about that idea." Larempteh said.

"Why?" Larry asked waiting for more.

"You won't understand." Larempteh seemed scared of herself.

“Larempteh, I managed to solve the dilemma in Ahkmenrah's table, so just tell me. Explain to me how you are born to narrate it .. ”said Larry.

"It's strange, because without knowing where he can be at the same time, I feel like he's in a part of the Middle East, maybe it's a hunch, but I suspect that I should be connected to him through ..." Larem emphasized his collar. "Or something similar .." she instinctively squeezed her usej with the winged beetle along with three ahkn charms, a significant symbol of life.

“Have you seen yourself like this before? Because it's the same state the boys have suffered including Ahk and the tablet a while ago. ”Larry inspected the girl but it was not safe to venture to say that this was happening for the same reason the boy's board had.

"Never. This situation had never happened before. I was always exactly the same. ”Larempteh sounded convincing.

“And what happens? I don't understand. ”Larry continued without finding answers.

“Being honest, I have no idea. But it turns out to be that way, my father knew the secrets of that jewel better than me. Unfortunately he swore never to reveal them and he did so .. ”Larem explained and again it happened, the girl went into a trance that barely made her back when her friend came to hold her until she could stand. "Perhaps it is for this reason that I want to meet again with my parents ..." she wanted to remove all possible doubts and answer her whys that grew slowly.

“Quiet Larem. We will take care of this and I will do my best to help you. Just relax tonight, okay? ”Larry somehow managed to calm her.

"Very well." And she smiled in thanks.

  Larry had to take another course after corroborating that everything was fine and Larempteh also had to continue before that problem got bigger in his head, without suspecting that Napoleon heard every detail of the talk so he smiled to get more information about it ..

  Honestly the villains were quite fools, it was easier to get a candy from them than to another person. But returning to the subject, Napoleon took the information that he managed to bring with him thanks to the young woman and the queen tyrant began to reproach, so as not to lose the habit ..

"Is that all ?!" the queen shouted with an unknown name.

“Mona mi, the girl is quite cunning. I couldn't collect more data than those .. ”Napoleon excused himself at the dissatisfaction of the leader.

“We have enough information, piccolo. We know that she is and that she is friends with the boy. The plan marches on wheels .. ”Al Capone remarked with his Italian accent.

“And that is a possible weakness of the Egyptian and vice versa. This will be easier than snatching a candy from a brat. ”Ivan, the Terrible decreed with his Russian accent.

"What's your next step, girl?" Al Capone seemed impatient.

“She will be forced to renounce what my dad and my mom unfairly destined for her, referring to the throne, the crown and the jewel, of course.” Said the queen.

“And the boy? What about him? ”Al Capone asked with one hand in his dress pants pocket.

“It's just what we need, guys! If one yields, the other must yield, they will remain occupied only by the simple fact of wanting to try to save each other more than the world itself, thus leaving us the free path .. ”said the queen and the others waited expectantly for their next words .

"Highness!" Tahmenk exclaimed.

"It will be how to attract fish to the water .." the queen continued.

"Highness!" Tahmenk exclaimed again.

"What?! I hate being interrupted! ”Shouted the queen who looked annoyed.

"His goal was always found here." Tahmenk reported and a countenance that would terrorize the same god of the underworld was embodied in the woman's face. "The jewel was in the basement all this time."

"Well, go get her ..." the queen smiled demandingly.

"No .." said Tahmenk.

"Why not ?!" the queen reproached.

"Because we can't do much if the jewel is being scheduled to be transferred to Cairo just now, less if it was already packed to get there in a couple of days." Tahmenk reported.

   And the queen formed an uncertain grimace on her lips, an indecipherable rarity..

"Cairo .." the queen whispered.

"Yes .." Tahmenk continued.

"Cairo .. Middle East .." the queen raised a finger remembering what the Emperor of France mentioned.

 The aforementioned collected finishing spinning the information to continue forging its plan ..

"This is wonderful! This is divine! ”The bewitching woman laughed jokingly.

"Mona mi, we must act fast!" Napoleon exclaimed plaintiff.

“Stop sir! No one rushes me! The night is still young and we also have plenty of time to take possession of it, but first of all, Army! ”The queen shouted and her faithful men stood firm. "Get ready to start, let's visit my little sister whom I call, Larempteh and at least notice, the world will be ours and Larempteh is not welcome in him, nor will she be much less a hero." The queen murmured happily looking for the crystals of the big window.

  The young queen walked quietly through the exhibition of Egypt, when passing through the room and before the room facing the old temple of Ahkmenrah where she was previously, a hand brought her to the beautiful interior of such a hall representative of her time where there was more to see the magical place where both came from, it should be noted that this place was where the ornate sarcophagus of Larempteh was with its walls covered by hieroglyphs with considerable lighting ..

 "How is it that I missed so much time from his pleasant presence?" Ahkmenrah wondered..

   Yes, that's right, neither of them was aware that they were so close during all that time since she was exhibited as a historical piece on this site, around 1958..

"Hey ..!" His mouth was covered with one hand to meet his bright pupils.

"At last alone .." Ahkmenrah whispered close to her nose as he placed his hands at the girl's sides, cornering her.

  The king was caught with the exquisite aroma that she possessed by her natural perfume, she smelled of papyrus mixed with fragrance to Sol also counted the small help of the aromatic oils that they prepared especially for her beautiful and royal queen, those balms that she still preserved from his embalming ..   He brought his face close to the queen's neck to wear that scent impregnated in his nostrils for weeks, so stock up on Larempteh by olfactory memory when he didn't see her after returning to his sarcophagus or when his new duties allowed..

"Ahk .." Larempteh muttered looking at Ahk's lips.

"Mm ..?" Ahkmenrah muttered sensually looking at Larem's lips.

"You're very close .." Larem murmured as he approached dangerously.

"Do I make you nervous ..?" Ahkmen spoke with his best seduction tone.

"No .." Larempteh whispered comically sensual almost falling for Pharaoh's appeal but woke up from that trance. "Ahkmenrah, are you crazy?" Larempteh spoke quietly looking everywhere.

"Mm, maybe .." Ahk smiled slyly as he scanned her with a scan from top to bottom all over his body carefully.

"It is good that you admit it, you are one step further .." Larempteh admired her virtue by accommodating a bretel of her dress and a wing of her little cape. "Now, why did you do that?"

"Why did I do what?" Ahk faded.

"That!" Said Larempteh.

"That?" Said Ahkmenrah.

"Yes, that!" Said Larempteh.

"What is that?" Ahkmenrah despaired comically when she shook her head clearing the argument.

"Nothing, forget it. Why did you bring me here? ”Larempteh demanded with the demand for a sovereign but without being severe and without losing spontaneity by bringing her hands to her hips, she looked so tender before Ahkmenrah's eyes.

"For this .." Ahkmenrah took his face crashing his lips against hers.

  Due to the abruptness of her act, the queen was caught between the wall and the body of Ahk, opening her eyes for that reason and for the clash of Ahkmenrah's hips against her own where that impact caused the king to rub only intimately in Larempteh, although then the girl closed her beautiful eyelids slowly keeping up with Ahkmenrah, due to an unconscious submission to the girl. By the way, the young man kissed perfectly well and where the king asked permission in his mouth to have tongue in between ..

    An instrumental of romantic melody from Egypt sounded in the background making that moment less uncomfortable and more relaxing..

  But a mental click caught on his conscious for a few moments trying to get rid of the king's lips, pushed him scared ..

   Maybe Larem let his guard down and was vulnerable under Ahkmenrah's charms ..

"Don't do it again!" Larempteh graciously ordered indignantly.

"I'm not done yet .." Ahkmenrah took revenge.

"Ahkmenrah!" Larempteh said and he kissed her again but this time with more intensity.

  They continued kissing for a good while until she reacted after several seconds since they both separated comically while Larepteh tried to incorporate some air before speaking..

  They looked at each other, detailed themselves, memorizing every gesture that will be impregnated in them. They were agitated, both had large pupils due to the low light provided by the lights, a strong blush with the adrenaline that shook their hearts predominated on their cheeks, but still she did not know what to say..

“Ahkmenrah, I thought it was all clear, young man. That way you don't win a girl, not the gross. What was that? ”Larempteh inquired graciously and spontaneously, wanting to erase that moment from his mind.

"Fluid exchange?" Ahkmenrah raised her eyebrows as she smiled and opened those imposing eyes, captivated by the young woman.

"I reaffirm, you're crazy." She had no idea that Ahkmenrah was so impulsive.

"You are beautiful when you get angry, did you know that?" Ahk smiled at her sensually and then approached and she looked at him expectantly for some trace of mischief, her eyes gave him away. "I, yearned to see you give me a dance." Ahkmen murmured in his ear.

"Ahkmenrah, you .." Larempteh muttered about Ahkmenrah's boldness.

 That guy was sensuality in person when he returned to give a smile and a sexy wink before leaving slowly ..

 Larempteh was a little silly after that moment, touching his lips confirming that this kiss was real and yes! it was, so much that he still felt the heat of that fleshy mouth in his, he smiled biting his lower lip while resting his head on the wall when he closed his eyes remembering everything. The girl mentally sailed in an intoxicating and captivating sea because of the effect that had the pleasant and seductive perfume with aroma of herbs and Sun that Ahkmenrah gave off, coincidentally also its natural fragrance emanated from papyrus, a long and captivating smell of masculinity ..

Of course she was also crazy about him, but Larem hid it better ..

"Little girl?" Teddy was surprised to see her in that way and of course, the girl was petrified. "Are you alright, pretty?"

   It was a little funny scene to see the young queen biting her lip and trying to align her thoughts by inventing a good lie so that he would not suspect anything but it was late, if only she had a minimum idea of what she already has in mind. Mr. Roosevelt about them ..

"Yes! It's just that I had a little skin on my lip and I had to take it out. It is not attractive that a queen looks like this with her lips .. ”Larempteh sighed a nervous smile and was more so when Teddy looked at her, happily discovering the king's step with her while smiling, squinting his warm eyes. "Me, I must go ... to another place .." Larempteh gave him a pretty smile and resumed his path.

"I wish she knew instead of both being hiding .." Mr. Rooselvelt felt good knowing the truth and on the other hand he longed for that day where Ahkmenrah would finally know what role Larempteh plays in his life.

  They are friends? Yes, although the young man does not feel that danger of crossing the “prohibited..?"

  And in fact, he already crossed it, quite a bit or maybe there was never such a crack because after all, they are free to choose their concubines..

  Maybe it was all in his imagination ..

"I saw her, miss .." Lancelot turned to the young woman.

"What?" Larempteh was a bit self-conscious.

"You like each other, right?" Lancelot wanted to truly lie him.

"No .." maybe, sometimes Larempteh was awful hiding his heart, not always. She tried to do her best with regard to Ahk but it was impossible. The two liked each other very much.

"Yes, of course .." Lancelot said elbowing her.

"Already! Stop bothering, Lancelot .. ”Larempteh couldn't help but let out a smile when she ran away.

****

Tags: @underworldsheiress @txmel @s4msepiol @itsme690 @xmxisxforxmaybe @moon-stars-soul @1970smalek @singyourheartout4-rami @seafrost-fangirl @sherlollydramoine @mrsahkmenrah-malek @hazeleyedbeth @yousaycoke-isaycaine @r-ahh-mi @rocketrhap4229 @eschnei7 

I want to label them in this chapter so you don't miss out on this beautiful story, I hope you don't bother, girls .. :D💕

[providentially-demonic]

Miraculous Mystery Skulls: Chapter Six

First Arc: a Spellcaster, a Ghost and a Mechanic walk into a bar Paris

Summary: On their honeymoon in Paris, the City of Lights, the trio of Vivi, Lewis and Arthur encounter more than sightseeing… in the form of monsters, supervillains and a pair of teen superheroes. Sometimes, miraculous things can happen, when you least expect it.

(A Mystery Skulls/Miraculous Ladybug crossover event)

A/N: This all started with this fic by @phantoms-lair and the silly idea of them running into Chat Noir and Ladybug while there. It grew…

It’s a tale of heroes, miraculous, found family and more (with a healthy dose of puns). Co-created and written with assistance from @phantoms-lair, so she deserves some of the credit and a lot of the blame! :P

Back to Chapter Five

Chapter Six: Lost, Found and Other Descriptors

Arthur was indeed a little groggy when his alarm went off in the morning, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the broken sleep, the meds, or a combo of both. Vivi was still asleep against his side as he reached out to shut off his phone, but someone was awake and watching him with bright blue eyes. He started badly before he remembered. “Zippi.” he said flatly.

The Kwami stretched out and leapt off the headboard and into the air. “Morning, morning! Are you hungry? I’m starving! I haven’t eaten since the fall of Rome!” He seemed pleased by his own joke, rolling in the air with laughter.

Arthur carefully sat up, trying not to wake Vivi. “Hilarious. What do Kwami eat anyway? You look like I should find you a nice tree full of nuts.”

Zippi made a disgusted face, tongue sticking out. “Ew.”

Arthur sighed and looked down at his sleeping wife. “I should probably order some breakfast anyway before sleeping beauty here wakes up.”

“Ooh, breakfast! Wheat pancakes? Dates and Honey? Garum? Please tell me there's garum!"

“I have no idea if they have any of that on the room service menu. Also I have no idea what the hell garum is.” Taking a deep breath, Arthur began the task of linking his prosthetic to the port in his shoulder.

Zippi watched with wide eyes, but continued his plaint. “How can you not know what garum is? It’s yummy! We used it on everything.”

“Easily. I have never even heard of it, thanks. Now quiet down before you wake Vivi up.” Arthur hissed as the first of the connectors clicked into place.

“Too late.” A bleary blue eye regarded him from where her face was smashed into the pillows. “Please tell me you haven’t been up long.”

Arthur turned enough to offer her a half-smile. “Only a few minutes, Vi, promise.”

She squinted at him before rolling over to sprawl on her back. “You set an alarm, didn’t you? You coulda slept in. This is our honeymoon. We don’t have to adult until we get back to Tempo.” she tapped a finger on the locket. “Hey, Lew, wake up and convince our husband he doesn’t have to be a workaholic on vacation!”

Purple haze leaked out of the locket and Lewis materialized beside the bed. “What makes you think he’ll listen to me?”

Zippi darted forward to look in Lewis’s spectral eyes. “Fantomă!”

“Talking mouse!” Lewis backed up fast.

Vivi rolled her eyes. “Lewis, honey, you have been a weirder thing than a Kwami. Lew, meet Zippi. He wants to buddy with Artie. Zippi, this is Lewis, our husband. Yes, he’s a ghost, but most of the time we don’t hold that against him.”

"I said I was sorry for making the van a mini dekotora." Lewis retorted.

“Not forgiven.” Arthur and Vivi replied in the same breath.

Zippi peered at Lewis, head cocked to one side. “You don’t feel like most of the unquiet dead.”

Lewis paused, confusion causing his human facade to flicker. “How?”

“Most of them are... lost.” Zippi darted forward and tapped the side of Lewis's head. "Inside. You aren't. You are very... anchored. Very part of the here and now. I like you!"

"Um... thanks?"

Zippi turned in midair and darted back to Arthur, who flinched away from the sudden movement. "More importantly, he likes you."

"Ah—?" Lewis's bafflement was plain.

"If he's going to be my bearer, he needs a strong foundation. You are part of that. So is she. His feelings for you make him strong." Zippi circled the three of them. "Not everyone is as stable as the three of you make each other."

"What if I'm not your bearer?" Arthur questioned with a grimace as he locked the arm into place.

"You are." Zippi's reply was assured.

"You only just met me last night."

"Doesn't matter. I know you are meant to be my bearer." Zippi tried to land on Arthur's right shoulder and looked a little confused and hurt when Arthur shied away.

"I still think you got the wrong guy."

Vivi sighed heavily. “Arthur...”

Arthur didn’t look at her. “What? Vi, he’s known me for all of what, an hour, awake? How does he— or any of you— know there’s not a better choice out there for him?”

Lewis might not have known everything that happened last night but he recognized this mood. He came around the bed and unceremoniously toppled Arthur back into the pile of blankets and pillows. Vivi immediately rolled over and latched onto him with all four limbs. Lewis settled down behind him and tucked Arthur into the curve of his body before he could struggle. “Snuggle attack!” Vivi declared.

Arthur carefully put his real hand under her chin and shoved her back. “Vi, knock it off!”

“Nope!” She ducked away from his hand with a cheery grin. “You know better than to go down this road. It’s not allowed. Not ever again.”

Lewis sighed into his hair. “Arthur...”

Arthur’s shoulders tightened.

“You’re doing it again. It’s not now and never was your fault.”

Vivi repeated the mantra softly, a breath after Lewis. She caught Arthur’s chin and made him meet her eyes. “Look at Zippi. He only just met you and he can already tell you’re a good person. Good enough to be his bearer.”

Arthur’s sigh was thin, a whisper of defeat. But he relaxed into their hold. "I love you two, you know that, right?" His voice was soft.

Vivi leaned in for a kiss. "Of course we do. It's why you said yes when we asked you to marry us."

Lewis said nothing, only pressing a loving kiss against Arthur's temple. They remained that way for a while, simply soaking in each other's presences. Allowing them all time to ground themselves in the touch and smell and sight of those they loved... more than life itself.

Zippi hovered close, obviously wanting to join them, but hesitant. The rejection still stung.

After a time, Vivi rose. She paused briefly to stroke Zippi’s head. “Give him time,” she whispered before turning to her husbands and declaring, “Well, I’m all kinds of starved. Lets get some breakfast and head back to the museum!”

Lewis looked up. “But—”

Vivi cocked her head toward Zippi. “We need to research something we picked up there, Lew,”

“Ah.” Lewis rose and tugged Arthur to his feet. “Well, unless you want more pastries, I think breakfast will have to come from the room service menu. Breakfast isn’t a big deal over here. Mostly it’s coffee and toast or a pastry.”

Vivi laid her hand across her forehead. “Blasphemy! How am I expected to function without my breakfast? I’ll wither away!”

“Yeah!” Zippi enthused. “I still want some garum!”

“What the hell is garum anyway?” Arthur grumbled.

“It— it’s a fermented fish sauce,” Lewis said, obviously choosing his words with care. “It was a major thing in Roman times.”

Arthur perked up a little. “Huh. Wonder how it would taste on Surf’s Up Surprise?”

“Arthur— no.”

“You just have no taste, Vi.”

~~~~

After breakfast, they took a bus back to the museum. Zippi hid in Vivi’s handbag, distracted by a handful of goldfish crackers, though he had complained that they had no actual fish in them.

“I don’t know what you’re hoping to find.” Lewis murmured as they worked their way back through the building to the same area the battle had been in. “I mean, he did say his miraculous had been hidden for a long time, right?”

Arthur shrugged. “Something, Lew. I don’t know. At this point anything is more than what we know now.”

Vivi was chewing on her lower lip, a sign she was deep in thought. Lewis reached over and tugged a lock of her hair, making a soft questioning noise.

She glanced up at him. Her voice dropped to a near-whisper. “Okay, so near as I figure, the miraculous must have been in the case that Artie got smashed into, and must have fallen into his jacket. I don’t know why Ladybug’s miraculous cure didn’t put it back, though.”

“I know this one!” Zippi’s voice came from her bag. “Her cure only works on a miraculous that’s damaged. Mine wasn’t. And it was already where it belonged, with my new bearer.”

A muscle jumped in Arthur’s jaw, but he said nothing. His hand briefly went down to touch the pocket he had stowed the miraculous in. It could stay there for now. He still had his reservations about accepting Zippi’s claim that he was meant to hold it.

Vivi pointed past a group of museum patrons. “That’s the case.” Her voice was still very low. “And that brings up my second point. Have they noticed it’s missing?”

“It doesn’t seem like it,” Lewis offered. “I mean, wouldn’t they have blocked off the area or something if they had?”

Vivi scanned the people around them silently. Nothing seemed any different from when they had been here yesterday, groups quietly talking as they looked at the displays, but no sign anything out of the ordinary had happened here.

They moved toward the case, Arthur pretending interest in the brochure he had picked up at the entrance, and Vivi leaning around Lewis to point at something on the page. At the case, Lewis bent to read the placard, his voice soft and conversational. “Examples of pottery and jewelry found in a buried shrine of the goddess Hekate, the roman goddess of magic and crossroads, at what was one time the juncture of two major trade routes. The shrine was discovered, relatively intact and untouched, in 1975 by a group of graduate students, after having been buried in a pyroclastic mudflow sometime in 280 AD. These items are believed to have been left as offerings to the goddess for safe travels.”

Zippi made a soft sound. “He thought it would be safe there. That the Goddess would protect it.”

Vivi, patted her bag. “In a way, he was right. The shrine would have been robbed in later centuries if it hadn’t been buried.”

“Oh...”

Arthur peered more closely at the other items in the display.  There was a small gap that looked like it might have been where the miraculous had been, but it was barely noticeable. Had the magic made it so the missing piece would go unnoticed?

Vivi had obviously noticed it too, but said nothing. Best if it remained unnoticed by the museum staff. “Let’s go see the Egyptian display next.” She made sure to pitch her voice at conversational levels, just in case.

She tucked her hand in the crook of Lewis’s elbow and Lewis rested his other hand in the small of Arthur’s back, steering them through the crowd toward the Egyptian Hall. When they got there, though a majority of the display was open to the public, there was a small area roped off where several workmen were placing things under the direction of a young man in a tweedy coat. They were not the only ones to stop and peer at the set-up in curiosity. A small group had gathered near the roped-off section. “ — heard the mayor donated the new pieces from his personal collection. Kubdel is happy as a clam, being that most of the donated pieces are from his favorite era.” A woman in a bright turquoise pants-suit explained, gesturing expansively at the group of workers.

“Kubdel? Didn't he get Akumatized over that? I’m surprised the museum let him anywhere near the new pieces.” Her companion looked a little aghast.

“Oh, don’t worry. As long as he’s happy, nothing like that will happen again. Ladybug said in an interview that Hawkmoth is only drawn to strong negative emotions, so as long as he’s kept happy, there's nothing to worry about.”

“Not sure my concern over you getting hurt would really be considered a negative emotion, but he certainly thought it was good enough.” Arthur said softly to Lewis, leaning into his side a little. “Ugh, I can still feel his nasty voice in my head.”

Vivi peered around Lewis with a loving grin. “But you kicked him out of your head.”

“I tried, at least.” Arthur managed a wry smile for her. “It helped that we had some help that night though.”

Lewis chuckled. “Pretty sure you gave Hawkmoth a ringing headache with the fight you put up, even before we got that Akuma out of you.”

“He deserves more than that.” Arthur muttered, clenching his fist. “Way more.”

“And he’ll get it, Arthur.” Vivi captured his hand and held it, caging Lewis between their outstretched arms. “We’re going to make sure of it.”

“Right.” Arthur sighed.

“Good. Now, unless there’s something else we want to see here, I still want to get some pictures to send back to the Pepper’s and Lance. Then maybe lunch? Lewis, you said you found a cafe that looked good?”

~~~~

They had arranged to meet the kids in the park where they had met up the first time. Arthur had sprawled under the shade of one of the trees and was dozing, still a little foggy from lack of sleep and medications. Zippi had abandoned Vivi’s purse to tuck himself in the collar of Arthur’s jacket. Lewis sat on a bench near where Arthur drowsed, Vivi in his lap, holding a book that they were both reading from.

Marinette was the first to arrive, her backpack slung over one shoulder as she trotted up. “Adrien will be here soon. He had fencing practice first.”

She didn’t get to say more because with a happy squeal, Tikki launched herself from Marinette’s purse. “Zikikii!!”

The noise woke Arthur, who jerked upright, looking around wildly.

Zippi left Arthur’s jacket to meet her halfway and the two Kwami tumbled over and over in the air, laughing happily and babbling at each other in something that wasn’t English or French.

“Oh, Tikki—!” Marinette covered her mouth with one hand, her eyes sparkling with laughter.

Vivi snorted and held open her shopping bag. “You two are lucky that we’re alone here, but to be on the safe side, why don’t you get out of sight?”

Tikki made a small sound and dived into the bag, followed quickly by Zippi.

Marinette laughed and dug out a small box of cookies from her purse, handing it down to the kwami in the large paper bag. “Here, some treats to share.”

“What is with nothing having fish anymore?” Zippi complained.

~~~~

It was a good twenty minutes more before Adrien came trotting up, slightly out of breath. “Sorry. Practice ran long.” He looked curiously at the bag on the grass, rustling slightly. His gaze turned to Marinette. "Oh, by the way, what on earth did you tell Alya? She’s been either giving me a death glare or typing furiously on her phone. I think she’s plotting my death. Possibly with Nino.”

Marinette flushed slightly. “Oh— um, I may have had to tell her our cover story.”

“I get the feeling that’s not all you told her. I think I’m bleeding from all the pointed glares I was getting.” Adrien looked mournful.

Tikki peeked her head out of the bag and giggled. "She may be looking for your supposed replacement."

Adrien went wide-eyed. "Replacement? What?"

Marinette blushed and frantically shooshed Tikki. But she wasn't proof against Adrien's woebegone kitten look. "Well, I-I knew Alya wouldn't buy into me n-not like-liking you anymore when she's been there since day one. So I—" She buried her face in her hands and rushed all the words out at once. "IkindatoldherthatImetsomeoneelse!"

“What?!”

“I had to give her something more! She doesn’t give up easily, you know!” Marinette hunched her shoulders up around her ears.

“Wait? Who? I mean—” Adrien flailed helplessly for a moment. “Who—?” He blinked for a moment and bit his bottom lip. “Is it someone I know?”

“It is you, you idiot!” Marinette exploded and then covered her mouth. “I— I’m sorry. I— it’s not anyone else. I just—” Her cheeks flamed red and she ducked her head. “I pretended that I met someone else, someone who— who kept getting rejected by someone he loved. Sound familiar, kitty?”

Adrien looked perplexed. Plagg groaned from his pocket. “Seriously, cheese is easier. No asking if it likes you back. She’s talking about you, kid.”

“I— I hinted at her that I liked Chat Noir, just to give her something else to focus on.” Marinette covered her face with both hands.

“Wait, so you told Alya you’re not with me... and then told her you’re with Chat Noir.”

“God, were we ever that young?” Lewis muttered into Vivi’s hair with a laugh.

“No,” Vivi chuckled back. “But we were that stupid in love.”

Arthur, who had joined them on the bench, covered his eyes with his hand. “Even dumber. I was there to see it all.”

“You shush,” Vivi leaned over to kiss him. “You were just as dumb, just all stoic about it.”

Adrien grinned brightly. It was the same wide grin he gave her as Chat when he loved one of her plans. "That's brilliant, Ladylove!" He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"It is?" Marinette was taken aback. She was expecting him to be upset.

"Not only is Alya distracted from being mad at me, it means I get to be all affectionate with you if I'm in costume and you're not. I really like that." He leaned close, his eyes sparkling with mischief and his grin entirely that of his feline counterpart.

Marinette eeped softly, rose dusting her cheeks, but couldn’t seem to look away.

Zippi stuck his head up, popping the moment like a soap bubble. "Are we done here? Can we go now? It's been so long since I've seen Pollen and Fluff and Sass and—”

"We get it, Zippi, thanks," Plagg groaned from Adrien’s pocket.

"It's not too far from here," Tikki assured. "Come on, you two, you can cuddle while we tell Master Fu what happened." She giggled before ducking back out of sight, pulling Zippi down with her. Vivi rose and picked up the bag and it’s magical occupants.

Marinette and Adrien both turned red, but didn't say another word. They walked next to each other the whole way, their arms reaching to almost grab the other's hand before dropping back to their side.

"At least Mystery’s not here to tease us about history repeating itself," Lewis muttered.

Arthur chuckled, hands firmly entwined with both of theirs.

When they reached the correct arrondissement, Marinette rapped softly on the heavy wooden door.

There was the sound of a bolt sliding back and then Fu opened the door, eyes wary. He relaxed a little when he saw them and stepped aside to let the group in. He looked less defeated than yesterday, but he still moved like he had aged a hundred years in the span of a day.

He re-locked the door behind them and motioned to the table, laden with a teapot and mismatched cups. “Wayzz has told me something about the Lost Miraculous since your call this morning. I was unaware that there were more than I personally knew of.” He seated himself carefully on a cushion. “So, please, tell me what occurred.”

“Talk later! I want to see everyone!” Zippi burst out of the bag and whirled around Arthur’s head. “It’s been so long!”

Wayzz floated up beside Fu. “A little respect, plea—”

He was bowled out of the air by a brown bullet of excited Kwami. “Wayzz, you old hardshell! It’s been waayyyyy too long!”

Wayzz’s eyes widened and he righted himself, reaching out to grip Zippi’s arms. “Zippi?!”

“Hi-hi-hi!” Zippi crowed gleefully before Tikki darted over to join in the excitement. “I missed everyone!”

“Why didn’t you try to contact us sooner? The guardians would have found you and brought you home!”

“The lazy rat was sleeping,” Plagg grumped.

“Master?” Wayzz looked hopefully at Fu, still clinging tightly to Zippi.

Fu sighed. “You may go.”

With twin squeals of excitement, Tikki and Wayzz darted toward the miraculous box, pulling a gleeful Zippi along. “Plagg?" Tikki called back.

“Eh, you guys go ahead. I’ll keep watch out here in case something bad happens while you’re in there. Tell the others I said hi, though.” Plagg settled on the table. "Hey, Master Fu, you got any cheese?"

Tikki darted over to plow into him in a hug. “You can grump all you want, but you’re sweet, Stinky.”

Plagg shoved at her, but gently. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Sugar Cube. Just go so we don’t have to hear all the noise anymore.”

Laughing, she booped his nose and darted back to the box, vanishing inside with Wayzz and Zippi.

“So, shall we start at the beginning...” Fu invited. “I think we need to get the whole story, all of us.”

“It’s gonna be a long story, then, because it goes back before there was even a guardian order—” Plagg began.

~~~~

Fu stared at the round brooch, gleaming softly in the light, the jewel a rich umber brown. Arthur had pulled it out of his pocket, and set it on the table, sliding it towards Fu as he finished. “Near as we can tell, it was in the case Grand Master threw me into and it must have fallen into my pocket. It looked different when I first pulled it out of my pocket, though. Had white and black stripes on it.” He continued with what they had read on the placard in the display.

"Disguise magic. The same way the kid's ring is silver and pigtail's earrings are black when they aren't transformed." Plagg explained, munching on a slice of cheddar. "When we're inside the miraculous, whether it's to transform our bearers or when we don't have a bearer, it looks different."

Fu’s eyes never left the gem, though he made no move to pick it up. He swallowed thickly. “It is rare that a Kwami strikes upon the correct bearer. Rarer still for it to have come in such a number of coincidences like this.”

Marinette bit her lip, leaning into Adrien, his arm resting around her shoulders. “We thought it might have been some of Tikki’s magic affecting the outcome. Her luck magic...”

Fu hummed thoughtfully. “Perhaps. That part of her magic is unquantifiable. Luck is a fickle thing.”

“And how do you think he chanced on the right bearer this time?” Arthur asked, his voice more than a little high-pitched. “I mean, didn’t you guys test for traits in the candidates?”

"The Order did. We had many tests designed to weed out those not meant to hold a miraculous. But they would do no good in this case. You— while I do not recall most of what occurred at the museum, I have had your descriptions and the footage from the Ladyblog. You have more than proven yourself worthy. Zikikii has made his choice and it is one I cannot deny him." Fu said solemnly, using one finger to push the brooch back toward Arthur.

Arthur made no move to take it, actually leaning back a little, like it was a poisonous spider or something equally unsavory. "But how can you be sure he's made the right choice?" His tone was almost desperate.

"While we chose candidates for the miraculous, it was rare, but always heeded when a Kwami made their own choice of bearer. It only happened once that I personally know of but there were records of it happening before. I read some of them during my training." Fu answered, tipping his head to regard Arthur, His eyes showed confusion and something else undefinable. "You—"

"I'm pretty sure he just latched onto me because I was the first person who touched his miraculous."

"No." Fu shook his head. "I admit to being— a bit lost. There is much about this situation I don't know, but this I know.”

“Wisdom is knowing how much you don’t know,” Vivi put in.

Fu looked up and chuckled softly, if a little weakly, “That sounds like something I might say.”

Vivi only smiled.

“When a Kwami has made their choice, there is no naysaying it.” Fu continued softly, “That was one inarguable rule passed down from the masters of the Order. At this point, Marinette, I could no more take Tikki away from you than break her miraculous with my bare hands. Or Plagg from you, Adrien. They have made their choices, as has Zikikii.”

“But—” Arthur protested. “I know you think I’m worthy, but I’m really not. I can’t wield that kind of power. You don’t even know me and you want to trust me with him?!”

“You— you do not want the power he offers?”

“No!” Arthur shook his head. “I— I shouldn’t be trusted with it.”

“Arthur!” Vivi’s tone was sharp enough to cut glass.

Arthur flinched, his shoulders coming up around his ears. "Vivi..."

Vivi moved from her cushion to slip her arm around Arthur's waist. He shivered before leaning into her.

"I can't, Vi. He des—"

Vivi put a fingertip over his lips. "I will be very cross with you if you finish that sentence.”

“So will I,” Lewis added. “You stopped needing to apologize for yourself two years ago. Don’t start again. You are strong enough and selfless enough to do this.”

Arthur sighed. “I don’t trust me.”

“We do, and Zippi does.” Vivi poked him. “Give us a little credit for good sense.”

“We do too,” Adrien put in. “You didn’t have to try and save Alya and I at the museum. You didn’t have to keep the Akuma distracted when you were wounded, but you did anyway. Isn’t that a good measure of yourself?”

"Out of the mouths of babes—" Lewis grinned at Adrien and poked his husband gently. "Listen to the kid."

Arthur scowled, but stopped leaning away from the miraculous like it might bite him. "I really don't think I'm cut out for this. I'm a lot of things; a superhero is not one of them, though."

"You're already a hero, why not add the super part to it?" Vivi chided.

"Viviiiii—"

"There are all kinds of different heroes," Marinette's look was thoughtful and she held tight to Adrien's hand. "Mama always said that heroes came in all shapes and sizes. It might be something as small as feeding a stray mama cat so she can feed her babies or as big as saving Paris. A hero isn't who you are, it's what you do."

Arthur looked at her strangely. “You don’t know me. You wouldn’t call m—”

A finger across his lips silenced him. “Nope.”

Vivi was smiling at him, her eyes soft. “You were always our hero. After all, Lewis is hopeless at keeping the van running.” She continued, her voice taking on a teasing lilt.

That seemed to break through to him and he huffed a breathy laugh. “So that’s why you married me, eh?”

“One of them,” she teased back. “Now stop fighting us on this, you’re outnumbered and outvoted.” She waved her hand at the room at large. “Six to one.”

Arthur made a show of looking around. “Your math skills suck, Vi.” He pointed at the black Kwami drowsing in the remains of  his cheese feast. “Plagg wasn’t voting.”

She reached out and pressed the miraculous that had been on the table into his hand. “I wasn’t talking about him, silly.”

Arthur sighed and looked down at the brooch. He didn’t say anything, but let her close his fingers around it.

Adrien glanced at his watch and frowned. “I hate to say it, but I have to leave. If I’m not back at the park for Gorilla to pick me up for the photoshoot, I’ll never hear the end of it from Father.” He poked his Kwami. “Wake up, glutton. You need to go get the others before we go.”

Plagg batted at the poking finger but roused and headed toward the miraculous box. “You owe me for this, kid.”

“Yeah, yeah. So says the one with his own mini-fridge of gourmet cheeses.”

It wasn’t long before the Kwami returned, with Tikki and Wayzz chattering at Plagg and Plagg sniping at Zippi. Tikki broke off and darted to Marinette for a cuddle. She was giggling. "Sass was so shocked! He thought Trixx was playing a trick on us with illusions!"

Wayzz settled on Fu’s shoulder and Plagg returned to his cheese plate for one last bit of brie.

Still hovering by Wayzz, Zippi looked at Arthur, uncertainty clear in his posture.

Arthur took a deep breath and slowly pinned the brooch to his vest, not far from his star pin. “I wouldn’t call me a hero, but we can start by being friends, right?”

Zippi broke and was at Arthur’s side in a heartbeat, tucking himself into the hollow between vest and neck. “Friends. Friends is good.”

Arthur sighed and reached up to scratch the kwami’s head with one fingertip. “Yeah. Friends is a good start.”

Vivi rose to her feet and offered Fu a bow. “We’ll leave you for now, but I expect we’ll be seeing a lot of each other in the future.” She turned her attention to Adrien. “We’ll walk you back to the park. Marinette, know a good place to pick up a cell phone around here? I want a local number you guys can contact us through, if you need anything. My regular cell phone is really only good for calling home.”

“Oh— um, sure. I know where Alya got her replacement when I dropped her phone the one time. It’s not far from there.” Marinette reluctantly let go of Adrien’s hand. They couldn’t be together as more than friends in public, she reminded herself.

“Excellent.”

The walk back was too quick, but the softly whispered, “See you later tonight, Ladylove,” brought a new spring to her step. There was something to be said for her cover story after all!

~~~~

A little late the next morning, but not as bad as many times before, Marinette rushed into the sciences classroom. She paused in the door, a little surprised not to see Ms. Mendeleiev already in place at the front. It was lab day and she was always early for those. A babble of voices caught her attention and she turned to see most of the class was gathered around Juleka's desk.

Juleka had her tablet out and the Ladyblog pulled up on it. Alya's voice came very clearly from the screen. "—tacking the Akuma with a combination of fire and ice. Who are they?"

She was interrupted by what Marinette knew was Arthur's voice. "Record later! Run now!"

"That was the scene at this morning's Akuma attack." Alya's voice was now in reporter mode. "The Akuma was attacked by two new superheroes before Ladybug and Chat Noir arrived on the scene. Who are Fire and Ice? Are they new miraculous holders?"

Alya, seated on the corner of the desk, pulled a frown. “Unfortunately, I didn’t get much footage of this Akuma battle itself. You won’t hear me say this too often, but that was a real dangerous fight. If that guy hadn’t grabbed me, no telling how badly I would have gotten hurt!”

“I think you got enough!” Rose said, hand pressed over her mouth. “The skeleton guy is scary!”

“But think about it, if these are new miraculous holders, something big could be coming. I want to say I got the first footage of them!”

“Technically, babe, you did.” Nino tousled Alya’s curls. “You got some great shots. You just didn’t get the chance to interview them since they bugged out after the fight and vanished like ghosts.”

“I know!” Alya batted at his hand and grumped sourly at him. “How cool would it have been to have a major scoop like that? The first ever interview with Lady Ice and Skullfire!?”

Adrien looked a little like he'd bitten into a lemon, lips puckered in an effort not to laugh.

Fortunately, Nino did it for him. "Skullfire? Babe, you read too many comics!"

Alya rolled her eyes and elbowed him hard enough to make him wheeze. “We basically live in a comic book, Nino.”

Adrien lost the fight to keep a straight face and guffawed.

Alya looked like she was going to take a piece out of him until everyone else joined in the laughter.

"Nino, whatever you do, don't let her name your kids!" Kim hooted.

Alya flushed almost the same color as Ladybug's suit and Nino wasn't far behind.

“Don't make her too embarrassed, Adrikins, or she might get Akumatized again." Chloe added, without looking up from the nails Sabrina was carefully painting.

“So says the one who is statistically responsible for more Akumatizations than the rest of Paris combined,” Alya retorted, still red but willing to throw down.

“Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. Those results are skewed and you know it, Césaire!” Chloe glowered at Alya.

“Actually, the statistics are correct, Chloe,” Max put in, never looking up from the calculator he was tapping away at. “Of fifty-seven known Akumatizations in the past year, thirty-eight of them were a direct result of some action of yours, and another six were indirectly related in some way to you.”

"That many?" Adrien whispered sharply. He knew his first friend wasn't the greatest person but...that was a really large number for anyone short of Hawkmoth himself.

Chloe huffed and turned away. “I’m just too fabulous for most of you plebeians to appreciate properly.”

“Chloe— winning friends and influencing people wherever she goes,” Nino muttered in a low voice to Marinette.

Marinette stifled a giggle.

“Hey, has anyone seen Ms. Mendeleiev?” Adrien asked.”Class should have started ten minutes ago.”

“Shh, dude, you’ll jinx it!” Nino shushed him. “Juleka was watching the footage of the fight and talking about the kind of magic those two new superheroes were using, said it looked more like elemental magic than the magic we’ve seen Ladybug and Chat Noir using. Ms. Mendeleiev got irked with her and started on about magic not being a real, definable thing, even though she’s been affected by it before!” Nino snorted and shrugged his shoulders. “Principal Damocles told her to go chill for a few minutes till she calmed down, y’know?”

Alya rolled her eyes. “What, she thinks it’s super-science or something that lets Hawkmoth take over people? That’s not scepticism, it’s flat-out denial!”

“You know Ms. Mendeleiev. She doesn’t like anything that challenges her understanding of the world,” Adrien tried to soothe.

Alya glared at him, obviously still not having forgiven him.. “Doesn’t mean she has to be dumb about it, Sunshine.”

There was the sound of a scream— abruptly cut off midway— from the school courtyard. Everyone jerked to attention. A scream like that usually only meant one thing.

Alya was already out of her seat, headed for the window and digging in her bag for her phone.

"Oh no, another Akuma!" Rose exclaimed, clinging tightly to Juleka's hand.

Marinette shared a resigned look with Adrien over Nino’s head. She rose to her feet, slapping a hand down on the desk with a loud crack to get everyone's attention. "Akuma Evacuation plan, everyone. The classrooms are too exposed so find someplace sturdy to go to ground. Let's move!" She waved people toward the classroom door.

Alya had her phone out and was filming through the window. "The Akuma looks like some sort of judge, maybe," she reported. "They have a gold scale in one hand and what looks to be a whip in the other."

Marinette hurried the last few students through the door and turned to Adrien, nodding. He slipped away silently. She knew he’d keep the Akuma busy until she could get there. “Alya, that goes for you too! Do you want to get hurt?”

“C’mon, Marinette! I’m not gonna go near the Akuma, but I gotta get some footage, especially if those new heroes show!”

“Alya. I love you but you are way too willing to risk your life for a scoop!” Marinette exclaimed in frustration. “I’m half-tempted to steal your phone so you don’t get close enough to get hurt!”

“I’d just get closer, in that case,” Alya smirked. “I’d have to see everything without the zoom on my phone!”

“Uuuurrrrghh!” Marinette huffed. “Fine, you stay here and stay out of sight, okay? We don’t know what this Akuma can do! I’m going to make sure everyone has gotten somewhere safe. If it even looks like the battle might come this way, you get to safety!”

Ayla offered a two-fingered salute, most of her attention on the Akuma outside. “Chat Noir has appeared on the scene first, No sign of Ladybug or the other unknown superheroes yet...”

Marinette hurried to find a hiding place to transform. Vivi had given her the number of her new cell phone so she shot off a quick text before ducking into the restroom.

A few moments later she was swinging into the courtyard. Chat was doing a good job of keeping the Akuma occupied, while also trying to herd those caught in the courtyard away.

The Akuma wore hooded, long robes, the dark red of drying blood. Under the hood the face was like a porcelain mask, stark white and serene except for the glittering black eyes. In one hand it held a golden scale and in the other, a black cat o'nine tails. The whip flicked out and touched a fleeing girl. She barely managed a gasp before she was transformed into a glowing ball of energy. The hand holding the scale lifted and the former student was sucked into it. One side of the golden scale tipped infinitesimally lower.

The still white face tilted to regard the scale. “Another Believer. Deluded.” Those glittering eyes fastened on Ladybug. “I am Judiciala. I have judged Paris as infested with those who believe in false magic and mysticism. I will cleanse the city of light of this corruption, with each believer I capture. Once this scale is full of captured believers, I will destroy all magic. Starting with yours, Ladybug and Chat Noir. I will add you to my pool of believers and deliver your miraculous to Hawkmoth.”

Chat snorted a laugh, posing with both hands resting on the top of his baton like a cane. “I am a-paw-led by your deliberate blindness. You do realize that our miraculous are magic, right? Hand them over to Hawkmoth and he’ll use the magic in them for his own ends.”

The glowing butterfly mask occluded Judiciala’s face for a moment. “Hawkmoth will cleanse them of their magic taint after his wish. The world will be free of the corruption of belief in magic when there is no more magic.”

Chat laughed again. “I hate to break it to you, but you’re just a cat’s paw for Hawkmoth. He’s duping you!”

The cat o’nine tails flicked out and Ladybug had to yank Chat out of the way. “Careful, kitty!”

He flashed her a quick smile and returned to taunting the Akuma. "It's rather hypocritical of you to judge magic when it's magic that empowers you, you know."

Judiciala's black gaze glittered with rage, and the whip flashed out again. But it wasn't aimed at Chat this time, but at a student desperately trying to take cover beneath a bench. The whip's strands coiled around the cowering boy and he glowed with the same light that had transformed the girl. But after a moment it changed, color shifting to a vibrant yellow. The whip dropped away and the boy stood transformed, a hooded figure like Judiciala standing there. His robes were black, and his serene mask was red. "Logic. You believe only in what you may quantify. You shall be the first of my Scourge, razing the Believers at my command."

"Wow, super cult-like rhetoric there, Judgie-McJudgiepants," a new voice called out over the panicked screams of the students who had not yet escaped the courtyard. "And making disciples and calling them your "Scourge"? Yeah, you reek more of cult than most actual cults we've gone up against."

Chat and Ladybug looked up. Lewis hovered in midair, full skeletal mode, holding Vivi in his arms. It was her mocking voice that had captured Judiciala's attention.

“Do not mock me, foul believer!” Judiciala’s voice scaled up in rage and the strands of the whip lashed around the hem of their robe like infuriated snakes.

“How can I not?” Vivi’s grin was cheerfully malicious. “It’s so easy! I’ve faced a lot of cults, crazy, and you are just like them. Ignoring reality and anything that doesn’t fit your rhetoric!”

While Judiciala's attention was not on them, Ladybug sidled over to Chat Noir. “The Akuma has to be in either the whip or the scale.”

He nodded. “I’d take the whip out of play first. It’s the most dangerous.”

“My thoughts exactly, Kitty. Want to—”

She was interrupted by a shrieked “Banzai!” and could only look on in appalled horror as Lewis let go of Vivi in mid-air. She plummeted down, her bat clenched in both hands and a gleeful look on her face.

Chat reacted faster than she could, his baton propelling him toward the falling woman.

But someone else was faster still. Arthur darted in while Judiciala’s attention was on Vivi and Chat. He brought down a fire extinguisher on the back of the robed figure’s head with a resounding ‘klooonng.’ Judiciala crumpled like wet tissue.

Lewis snatched Vivi out of the air right before Chat could reach her, her gleeful whoop echoing around the courtyard.

Lewis set her on the grass and she flung herself at Arthur. “Brilliantly timed, Artie!”

Arthur held her up, chuckling. “Not too shabby yourself, either of you.”

Chat landed by the unconscious Akuma victim and scooped up the whip. His claws made short work of it, but no corrupted butterfly darted away. He picked up the scale and smashed it against the stone lip of the fountain. Gold light emerged and resolved into several stunned, frightened students. A black butterfly fluttered away from the smashed pieces.

Chat had to clear his throat loudly before Ladybug reacted, flinging her yo-yo out to capture the butterfly. Her voice was faint as she breathed her usual farewell before releasing it to flutter away. Her gaze was fixed on the trio even as she released the swarm of ladybugs that would right everything.

The robes melted away, revealing Ms. Mendeleiev, who stirred weakly. Chat helped her sit up. For the first time since he had started at school, her disagreeable frown was gone, replaced by frightened confusion. Her fingers dug into his arrn hard enough to be felt even through the tough material of the suit. “You’re fine now,” he soothed. “We took care of the Akuma.”

"I— I— don't..."

He gratefully surrendered her to the care of Ms. Bustier and Principal Damocles, who had come rushing out is the building as soon as the fight was over and hurried to Ladybug's side, touching her arm. "Milady?"

She blinked back into focus. "That was—" her voice trailed off.

"The shortest Akuma battle ever!"

Ladybug and Chat both jumped, Chat coming down in a defensive crouch, his baton ending up barely an inch from Alya's gleeful grin.

"Alya!" Ladybug exclaimed, a hand pressed over her chest. "What are you doing here? It isn't safe so close to an Akuma battle!"

"This is my school and—" she pointed in the direction of the wobbly teacher being escorted back into the building. "That is my teacher. But you know I try to make every battle I can, Ladybug. I wouldn't be the Ladyblogger, otherwise! But enough about me. Will you introduce me to your new friends? Are they Miraculous holder's too? Paris wants to know!" She panned her phone's camera over the three before directing it back to Ladybug.

Chat made a small sound and leaned in, resting a claw on the top of her phone and pushing it down. "Ah-uh. It's rude to film them when they haven't consented to anything, much less an interview."

“It’s quite alright, Chat,” Vivi raised a flippant hand. "We're here to help, after all."

"I...would rather you not show their faces. But an audio interview is fine." Lewis, at least, was aware that broadcasting the undisguised faces of his loves could lead the enemy to them all too quickly. If need be he'd have a deadbeat fritz her phone out, but polite measures first. "But all Paris needs to know if we're here to help stop Hawkmoth and give Ladybug and Chat Noir the support they deserve to have."

"Awesome!" Alya cheered. "Like, I can blur their faces in the footage I already got of this battle during editing. So, mark and... Hello, Paris! This is your Ladyblogger, with an exclusive interview with the new heroes that helped take down an Akuma in record time. First, can we get some names to call you by? I've been told my stopgap names were— less than stellar."

Vivi shrugged. "No real names, sorry.  You can call me... Frost." She flipped her hand at Arthur. "The Fixer."

He gave her a flat, unamused look. "Way to sound like a mob movie."

"You prefer Mr. Fixit?" She smiled and gestured to Lewis. "And this is our Inferno."

Even with the limited ability of a skeletal face to show emotion, Lewis's hollow stare conveyed a distinct lack of amusement. "Really?"

"...And we'll get back to that later." Alya quickly said. "Next question, we've seen some pretty amazing things from you. Things both like and unlike Ladybug and Chat Noir's talents. Are you Miraculous holders too?"

"Yes, my miraculous grants me the power of common sense and fire extinguishers." Arthur said dryly, pointing at the discarded fire extinguisher he'd used to brain Judiciala.

"Does is matter?" Vivi added, more than a little cheekily. "We're here to help. And we're going to keep helping till Hawkmoth is in a six by eight where he belongs."

"So you've joined the fight against Hawkmoth, then. Does this mean you have some new information on the villain orchestrating this?" Alya's hazel eyes were glittering with enthusiasm as she leaned in. "I won't ask for specific details, since Hawkmoth could foil them by knowing, but do you have anything you can share safely?"

After a glance at Vivi, Lewis leaned in, allowing the spectral distortion he normally sought to keep under strict control to creep into his voice, imbuing it with a distorted echo and distinctly creepy feel. "Just this.W͜e ̡k͜no̧w͟ wh̨at̴ ̡you've ͝do͠ne͝ and ̵who̧ you͢'v͜e̷ enda̧nge͟r͜e̢d, Hąw҉kmo͏t͞h. ͡W͜e͡ wi͡l͢l̛ b̸e̴ ͟co̴m̕i͝ng ̶for yo͏u,͜ ̸a̛n̸d w͝e ̡won̸ '̸t śt̴óp.̕ "

Even Alya shivered, taking an automatic step back.

Ladybug's earrings chose that moment to beep and she touched her ear in surprise. "We should go. All of us. Be safe, Paris." She pulled her yoyo out and spun it. "Bug out."

Lewis scooped up Vivi in one arm and offered his other hand to Arthur. Arthur accepted and was tucked against Lewis's side as the ghost lifted from the ground in a deliberate burst of showy purple flames.

"So Paris," came Alya's voice behind them. "That's an exclusive with our newest heroes. I think the names are still a work in progress, though. Got any suggestions for them? Send them to the LadyBlog. Ladyblogger out!"

~~~~

Vivi was still delighted by the time they made it back to the hotel after the pause of finding a place to land unseen and for Lewis to resume his human guise. Vivi unlocked the door, tossing her purse aside and kicking off her shoes. “That was great, admit it, Arthur! The way Lewis put Hawkbutt on notice; the way you—” Her hands described the arc of the fire extinguisher, punctuating it with a descending whistle and her best imitation of the sound it had made striking the Akuma.

Arthur rolled his shoulders in a shrug. “Lets not forget you deciding dropping out of the air was a viable attack strategy.”

Lewis snorted. “To her it is.”

“It was!” Vivi fixed him with a pout. "I knew you'd be ready and there was no doubt in my mind that Lewis would catch me."

"And if something had gone wrong?"

"I had a contingency plan."

"Which was?" Lewis prodded.

"It doesn't matter. I didn't have to use it."

"AKA: there wasn't one." Arthur rolled his eyes.

"You could have used my miraculous to save her, you know." Zippi emerged from his hiding place in Arthur's vest. "With me, you would be fast enough to catch her."

"See!" Vivi crowed triumphantly. "I told you I had a plan."

"You did not. Besides, I don't even know how to use his miraculous, so that's another strike against you."

Vivi puffed out her cheeks.

"It's 'Scamper,' to transform," Zippi hovered near Arthur's face. "You only have to tell me that and I'll transform you."

Arthur stared at Zippi, fingers plucking at his goatee, mouth half-open as if to say something.

There was a sudden knock on the door that made him jump in place. "Mr. and Mrs. Pepper-Kingsmen, this is the police. Please open the door."

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #261

“i hate you for every time you ever bled for me.”

If you have a job, how long is your shift? I'm unemployed. Do you ever wear your hair in a pony tail? It's too short for that. What language did you take up in high school? Latin for one semester, then I took four of German. Do you like sunflowers? It's illegal to live in the South and not lmao. Have you ever held hands with someone in a car? Yeah. Would you rather be called honey or baby? Hunny. What is your favorite card game? Even though I never learned it super well, I used to enjoy Magic: The Gathering and have actually been like dying to play it for months lmao. How many emails were you sent today? None. What was your favorite Christmas gift you got last year? Well I mostly got money life chose I didn't get to use, lol. I honestly don't really remember anything else prominently... sounds bad, but yeah, so is my memory lmao. What have you thought up yet for this year’s list? Well it's only April, but a treadmill or something like that is at the top right now. Do you have any embarrassing usernames? Ha ha, none that I still use. Do you have a backpack in a shape of an animal? No, but I almost got a meerkat one. But it was too small. :'( Have you ever waxed your legs? OW no. My hair is too long and thick. Have you ever taught a little kid to flick people off? lol wow no. Have you ever itched yourself until your skin was raw? I do that remarkably easy, especially on my legs. I literally have long scars from it. Do you always clear your history after using the computer? No. Have you ever had your food stolen by a bird? Ha ha nah. Are you responsible for stuffing someone's stocking? No. Do you make your own smoothies or juices? No. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? I absolutely hate raisins. What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? It greatly depends on a lot of things: the person's health, financial position, etc. Have you ever watched Bob's Burgers? A couple times. It was pretty funny if I remember correctly. Denim, leather or varsity jacket? UUUUGGGGGHHHHH leather. I've wanted one since middle school. ;_; Has a teacher ever caught and read a note you were passing in class? No. I honestly didn't pass notes, but I find it mean as FUCK when teachers do this. Privacy is a goddamn thing that should be respected. I do not support passing notes in class, like you're there to learn, but having it shared in front of all your peers is not the fucking answer. I get heated about this shit. What's your favorite perfume that you own? I only own one that's called "Blush" from rue 21. It smells really nice, though. Do you clean things that are already clean when you're bored? No. I'd rather clean something that isn't already. Do you have an older brother? Yes. What do you do when someone overweight complains about being overweight? Lol I'd probably say "mood," but it depends on our relationship of course. Like there're times to be humorous and light-hearted about it and other times when you don't make it about you. If they're clearly more sad and especially if I don't know them well, I'd say something like "I understand," because I can almost guarantee I do about this. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. Have you ever been to jail? No, I'm a good noodle. :) Are your collarbones prominent? No. ;_; You can see them, yeah, but they're not like very obvious. It's one of my biggest motivators to lose weight though because I am dyinnnnggg for dermals there, but I think it would look weird without that contrast. Have you ever in your life worn overalls? When I was a kiddo. Ugly things. Do you own anything tribal print? No. Do you watch any beauty gurus on YouTube? I'm not even very interested in beauty, yet I love Jeffree Star??? Nikkie is cool too. I've found I watch more for personalities than content, in all genres of vids. Do you like Skittles? More like LOVE. Do you have a PillowPet? No. If you do, what kind of PillowPet do you have? N/A Do you have sleep paralysis? Thank the fuck to god no. That shit sounds absolutely terrifying. Is there anyone at home right now you wish wasn't? No. Do you like Placebo? Tbh I can't think of one song by them rn. I know I've heard them, Mom's even got a CD I'm sure I've tried out long ago when I got into her music, but obviously nothing stood out well enough, at least back then. Has anyone ever carried you to bed? As a kid, yeah, usually my dad. Could you happily date someone prettier than you? Yes???? Do you know anyone with cancer? Both my mom and grandmother right now. Are you easily offended? No. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? HI we've always been poor so no. Not just that, but they knew better than to spoil us. Have you ever tried to jump a fence? I have. Do you watch My Strange Addiction? No. How attracted are you to the last person that kissed you? A bit above moderately ig. Have you ever known a white supremacist? HUNNY I live in the South. In regards to who do you think "what if?" Jason as a fucking whole is my absolute "what if." Do you like the smell of a barbecue? Yes, even though I enjoy like almost no food at most of them. Doesn't stop it from smelling good. Has anyone ever called you apathetic or unemotional? I can't even imagine someone calling me that, no. I'm the polar opposite. How much money do you spend in a month on clothes or accessories? None in the average month. What was the last clothing item you wore that doesn't belong to you? A pair of Mom's pants. I didn't have any clean pairs. Do you own anything with your state or providence's name on it? No. Got no interest in sporting anything relating to a boring-ass, bigoted, racist state. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking? WOW A LOT!!!!!!!!!!! Do you like the Paranormal Activity movies? Yeah, I do. I mean yeah, they're fake, but what horror movie isn't even though it claims it is, honestly. How do you like your oatmeal? Apples & cinnamon with a bit of sugar. Does it make you feel better when an ex starts dating someone unattractive? No. Appearance doesn't mean shit when it comes to what the heart wants. What's your favorite way to eat peanut butter? In a sandwich w/ grape jam. Do you fall in infatuation easily? Infatuation, I'm not sure. Who has initiated most of your first kisses? Considering almost all previous relationships, usually me as they all knew I needed to go slow. I'd only do it if I was aware they'd wanted to kiss already, though. Do you like bows? Omg yes, cute shit. Has a boyfriend ever made you breakfast? Yes. Jason first went to college to be a chef. Are you more likely to show affection through your words or your actions? Probably words when you consider I'm slow with physically doing that, but I'm honestly really affectionate either way when I'm comfortable with you. Do you like Cheez-Its? VERY MUCH SO omg keep them away from me. Do you ever use coloring books? Not anymore. How do you feel about instrumental music? I have to be in the mood for it. Have you ever been on a trapeze? No. What's the coolest natural event you've ever witnessed? I still don't know to this day what it was, but I THINK it was a star exploding. Scared me, man. Seeing the big lunar eclipse last year was also wicked cool. Do you know how to use chopsticks? HA, I never could. Not with my tremors. Do you buy chocolate after Valentine's Day when it goes on sale? No, I don't need chocolate. Do you think bunnies are cute? I would fight God to give a lop-eared bunny one (1) pet. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? I've had a friend get something published in a magazine before, and during one stay at the psych hospital, I met a published poet. His stuff was really good. Last time (if ever) you were on an airplane, where were you going? Otw home from Illinois. Do you know anyone who is left-handed? Yeah? I'd assume everyone would at least know one... If people could read your mind, what would they usually find? The thought "I'm bored" every five minutes. What's a song that makes you feel happy? "Jump" by Van Halen came to mind first. How did you meet your best friend? YouTube. Do you need money to be happy? To a degree, yes. Money can buy happiness - but again, to a degree. Saying it doesn't is bullshit. What's a good idea you've had recently? Probably just OC ideas, lmao. I've thought of some decently cool stuff recently. what is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Cinnamon rolls uggggghhhhhh How many slices of pizza do you usually eat? Two or three if I'm seriously hungry. If you could switch places with someone for a day, who would it be? Is "Mark's girlfriend" even remotely surprising lmao but no seriously she's an amazing and productive person like I WISH. What's the last song you listened to? "Roots" by In This Moment is on rn. Do you like the movie Zootopia? Ye! Do you ever go on Pinterest? Yeah. What's the last kind of chocolate you ate? A Reese's. Tell me a line from the song you're listening to: "I'm stronger than I ever knew - I'm strong because of you." Have you ever participated in a march/protest? No. Have you ever performed in front of a large audience? Yeah, for dance classes and school stuff. What did you eat the last time you went to the movies? Popcorn. I may have gotten sour gummies, too? Idr. Who was the last person to see you cry? Mom. Do you listen to music every day? There are rare days where I don't. I'll be watching too many actual videos. Do you have a hard time making decisions? A STUPID hard time. I'm extremely dependent, including when faced with decisions. I second-guess myself with everything. Do you start the shower water before or after you get in? Before. How many times have you been to a museum? A good number of times. We live pretty close to an art + science one. Are you going to be getting any new pets soon? Most likely not. Would you rather be a Panda or Grizzly bear? A panda so it wouldn't be legal to shoot me lmao. Do the stairs in your house have carpet? We only have one floor. Can you do a twirl like a ballerina? Oh wow, no. Even when I was a dancer, I SUCKED at that. When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you? No. Is your family dysfunctional? To a degree. How old were you the first time you travelled alone? 22? What's the longest hotel stay you've ever had? I don't know. Not long. We only ever really stayed at one when we had to go to Myrtle Beach for annual dance competitions, and those were only like, a weekend. What architectural style was your childhood home? Uhhh idk. Very normal. Tell me a bit about your last relationship. What was it like dating them? It was great, but also stressful because of distance. What's the largest animal you've seen in the wild? Maybe like a large buck or something. Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations? Not that I'm aware of. Have you ever been in weather so severe that you feared for your safety? Oh yeah. What political issues are the most important to you personally? Gay rights and the pro-choice stance. Does your neighborhood have a community garden? I've never even heard of such a thing. What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone? Acting secretive or cryptic about who they are as a person. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite? Visually that I've seen a good number of pictures of, Utah. Are there any obscure foods you've eaten that most people have never tried? I very much doubt that. What's the kindest thing a total stranger has done for you? I'm unsure. Have you ever used a meal kit delivery service? Yeah, I did one of those diet things before... but the name is evading me, even though it's super common. Nutrisystem, maybe? Do you have any pets? If so, how old are they? Venus is around five, and Roman is two. Do you have any psychological issues rooted in events from your childhood? My psychiatrist and former therapist predict my discomfort around men, particularly when they're behind me, and extreme fear of rape is rooted in two kids from pre-k that used to chase, randomly hug the hell out of, and try to kiss me. I'd actually entirely forgotten about it until we really started to dig deep, so I guess it's a repressed memory. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? WOW no, son. What's your favorite DIY crafts youtube channel? I don't watch DIY stuff. What was your high school's mascot? Firebird. Who were your best friends in high school? Hannia, Megan, Maria, Girt, and Dennis were The Crew. Who was your first boyfriend or girlfriend? Aaron was my brief puppy-dog love, but Jason was my first real boyfriend. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? Bottom. If I slept on the top, but bottom is getting crushed lmao. As a little kid though when Nicole and I shared a room, I had to have the top bunk until I got a bit older. What insects are you afraid of? BEETLES, CICADAS, AND LARVA GET THE FUCK OUT. Honestly most insects scare me to a degree. Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I think the aforementioned Aaron did in middle school at least once before we dated. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? Swimming in the pool, if they had one. What's one way in which you're still a child? I'm dependent as shit on my mom. What's one way in which you're old? I now say "back in the day" sometimes lmfao. Do you feel old or young? Or do you feel both at different times? Both at different times. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? Only once at a certain age. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Just kinda swim around and think, or watch nature. Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? I know I have, but they're evading me, gaaaah. What color(s) eyeshadow do you wear the most? I only ever wear black. What’s your favourite brand of peanut butter? Uhhh never really paid much attention to brands. Do you put all your stuff for class in one binder or several? When I was in school, I had one binder with dividers, but I also had specific folders too. What’s your favourite Lunchables meal? The nachos. How many languages can you recite the alphabet in? Two. What’s your favourite flavour of sunflower seeds? I hate those. What’s your favourite flavor of muffin? Chocolate oof. Have you ever had carpal tunnel? I do. I haven't had problems in a couple months, though. Are you one of those people who is really smart but has no common sense? OW FUCK OFF. How old were you when you met your first love? I was just shy of 16. Did you get ice cream from the ice cream truck when you were little? Do they still have an ice cream truck where you live? We occasionally did as a kid, but they definitely don't have that where we live now. Has the last person you kissed met your family? She met my mom, dad, and younger sister. What was the last strong emotion you experienced? Who was responsible for it? Remorse. Myself. Have you ever had to cancel a bank account? Yes. Was the last conversation you had an argument? No. If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? I am not in the financial or mental position to get married right now. Where was the last place you got completely wasted? I've never been "wasted." If you could have anyone as your roommate, who would you choose? Sara. Have you ever changed the prices of items at a store? Wow no. Well, MAYBE when I actually worked in stores and I was supposed to, but I don't remember doing that. Do you go for walks often? I never do because of having no area to (my house is along a dangerous curve), and I need to be very careful because of muscle atrophy in my legs. I need to have easy access to a place to sit and recover or else I get very close to collapsing. As mentioned, I desperately want a treadmill. Would your parents disown you if you got pregnant? No, I'm 24 years old. My mom would never in her life do that at any age anyway. How strange do people say you are? Idk?? That's not something I really try to find out because my AvPD would possibly make me cry asldkfjwe. Have you opened food at a grocery store & ate it without or before paying? I would never do that without, but I have before in cases of being very dizzy and knowing I desperately needed food. How artistic are you? I think I'm pretty artistic, but more in concept than actuality... Like I have so so so SOOOOOO many ideas, particularly with drawing, I just don't. Do it. Can you legally drive? Not currently, because my permit has been expired since last year. Did anything dramatic go down yesterday? No. Do you find smoking unattractive? Very. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to be around your ex everyday? No, thankfully. Have you seen someone recently you used to talk to, but don’t anymore? No. Are you comfortable sharing drinks with your friends? No; I don't even share drinks with family. Honestly, have you ever written something on a bathroom stall? No, I hate that shit. When you were a kid did you ever look up “sex” in the dictionary? Actually no. I literally didn't learn anything about it 'til family life in the 5th grade. Is there anything written on the shirt you’re wearing right now? No. Are you shorter or taller than most of your friends? I'm a normal height, really. Honestly, do you double dip? If I'm sharing, no. All you have to do is break the chip. What was the last junk food you ate? I had a little bit of popcorn yesterday.