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colossal-fallout · 3 years

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Fallout 4 ~

Random headcanons.

Includes NSFW. 18+ Only.

I'm more bang into AoT right now but I also want to incorporate Fallout into this blog, so introducing some Fallout 4 H/Cs

MacCready;

People often Headcanon this wonderful human as being dirty (beyond the norm is post apocalyptic America) and smelly but I cannon that he's pretty good at hygiene. .. Bear with me on this.

Mac not only has allergies to dust which is seen in game, but he also complains pretty loudly when there's a bad smell. So although he's one dusty mf, I don't think he'd be any less clean than your average sniper-in-the-shadows.

His teeth are bad probably off living in little lamplight and not having adults around to tell him to put that sixth snack cake down.

MacCready loves playing target practice with you. It's one of his favourite things to do. You keep a tally on who has the most points.

- NSFW -

Mac's member is on the more skinny side, but it's long and curves upwards slightly at the tip.

He loves receiving oral.

Mac pants a lot when having sex, which begins to escalate into moans that can get pretty loud, especially when he's nearing his end.

His panting is hot as f though. It's like a deep, ragged octave which quivers at times.

He masturbates quite often.

Hancock;

It's blatenly obvious; but Hancock is a hell of a lot of fun to be around.

If it's your thing, Hancock often plays drinking games with you, makes bets and a favourite of his is watching you squirm when you lose at strip poker.

If your first time huffing jet was with him, he cautioned you before hand and like the great man he is, kept a close eye on you as you ran and danced around like a maniac, giggling like some insane yandare.

Still, he almost pissed himself laughing at you.

"Man... Seeing someone's first time is always a blast."

-NSFW-

One of the many ailments that comes with being a ghoul is he's lost a lot of sesntivity down there, which means he can go for hours before reaching his climax.

This dirty dawg is amazing in the sack. He knows exactly what he's doing and has a gift of picking up on what you like pretty quickly.

Loves to mark his territory on you with his teeth.

Dirty talk. Lots of it.

"That's right... Who's my beautiful princess...?"

"Mmm you always taste so fuckin' good."

"Cum for me, baby. I wanna feel you pull me in deep..."

Piper;

Piper has a secret obsession with pre war romance novels.

The more smut the better. She reads them before she goes to sleep with an excited rose tint to her cheeks, kicking her legs slightly.

Piper often gets writers cramp when she's doing the paper, sighing with frustration as she's on a roll.

Piper likes to draw and often draws the characters she reads about in the books she's scavanged.

- NSFW -

Piper has a slight bitter/iron taste to her, almost like a penny but sweeter.

Piper is a huge squirter and often gets pretty messy when having sex.

She adores having her breasts and nipples played with, being able to orgasm just from that if it's good enough.

Danse;

This absolute beefcake if a man usually smells of slight BO tinted with oil. It's a pleasant smell though, not too over powering.

Danse will bring you back alsorts of weird stuff he's scavanged, to ask you to to explain to him what it's function was and what it was for. He's like the Fallout Universes own Arthur Weasley, just a lot less excitable.

"What the hell could this have possibly been used for...? I know, I'll take it back to y/n for a full report."

"Well, Danse, we would use those to shave dead skin off our feet."

"Really?! And did it do a satisfactory job?"

"Yeah...?"

"Outstanding."

- NSFW -

Danse is a big lad. Both downstairs and just in general. It's pretty long but it's most prominent feature is it's girth.

He's not at all clued up about sex so you'll probably have to teach him a thing or two. But by God will he give it his all.

He's a quick learner too, studying you with a furrowed brow at how you react to certain things, keeping them in mind.

He loves it when your legs are over his shoulders or when you push him deeper into you via his perfect ass.

He's pretty quiet when having sex say for heavy breathing, but he is known to let out the odd gruff growl, which is thek hottest thing ever. Ad Victoriam, your coochy. ...Ad Victoriam.

Cait;

It's pretty obvious from the game but Cait loves a bar fight. She's the happiest when she's smashing a stool over some guys back for speaking to you in a tone she didn't like.

Cait has double knees which she's insecure about, regardless how many times you tell her that her legs and knees are great.

Cait sleeps sitting up a lot, still in danger mode resulting usually in a stiff neck.

-NSFW-

This Irish bird loves it rough, but she loves it even more tender, a side of her she rarely shows and it turns her on more than anything that you care ebough to make love to her, not just a quick fuck.

She is amazing at giving oral sex. Second to none. She'll have you teetering to the edge within a few minutes.

Cait has a slightly scarred vajumba, something a slaver did to her onc which she doesn't like to talk about.

#fallout #fallout headcanons #fallout cait #paladin danse #maccready #robert maccready #fallout 4 #hancock #piper wright #fallout 4 headcanons #fallout 4 hancock #fallout 4 cait #fallout 4 piper #fallout 4 danse

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prongsmydeer · 5 years

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Ayesha Liveblogs One Tree Hill S1

No matter how many times I watch the pilot I consistently forget that Nathan and Peyton used to date

“Don’t bother showering tonight” is that really your come-on Peyton I will never understand sports

Lmao @ Nathan and Peyton “OTP: Distracted Driving”

“You’re despicable, you know that,” said Dan, a literal future murderer

I’m always so thrown when ppl in shows start drinking at their workplaces like what kind of bold behaviour Whitey you work at a high school

“What are you wasting your time at now?” Nathan ur a terrible boyfriend

“I say that the people who pray here are wasting their time. God doesn’t watch sports” I know Lucas is pretentious as all hell but this is my favourite line in any sports show ever

Karen is such a good mom ahhhhh like she just wants Lucas to be happy and she knows he’ll put other people’s happiness first

Dan calling Lucas ‘this kid’ like he’s not his wholeass son what a dick

It’s not lost on me that Keith telling Lucas stories about his father means that it’s Lucas’s grandfather Keith Scott is truly the only dad in this show who matters

“So why’d you just tell me all that” because he loves to monologue

“If I could [change the fact that Lucas exists], I would” Dan answer your door I need to send you a very rude telegram

I am in love with Moira Kelly and also I want Karen to punch Dan

The music of this show is really.... transcendent

Djhfkjhfkjh since Lucas is implied to have like, five friends.... is that crowd of supporters hugging him just a bunch of people who think Nathan is a dick

I admire Lucas for deciding he was gonna put up with all this bullshit to do something he loves

Omg I forgot that Brooke wasn’t in the pilot she’s such a major character

“Nice hands” “Nice legs” Emo flirting in a jock setting lmaooooo

My inner 2007 angst awakens every time I hear Gavin Degraw. He is THAT bitch

“You ever think I might want to talk” Peyton and Nathan’s relationship is truly nothing but blind horniness they have nothing in common at all in this juncture of their lives

“I didn’t invite you to come in, I just asked if you wanted to” Peyton is so weird but I kind of want to marry her. Is this what Lucas feels like

Lucas’s economic status is really part of Brooke’s romance criteria at the age of 17 they teach the bourgeois early huh

Oh my god I cannot BELIEVE Jake recommended Atlas Shrugged to Lucas jhjhgjhgjh the undertones of this basketball show really are about capitalism

HAHAHAH Nathan’s word being “revenge” calm down Sasuke Uchiha

I haven’t said so yet but Haley is so very endearing she’s great

God. Lucas turning around to reveal to Dan that he’s cast away his name. HE is that bitch

Ghjkghjkgh Keith hissing at the rude Boosters mum. Love of my life

“Maybe he’s gay” “No, I think he’s just nice” who writes this dumbass show

“Do you even care that it’s slipping away” maybe it’s because I went away for university but the idea that someone is this deeply invested in their kid’s high school basketball career is. A lot

Nathan simultaneously trying to bother Lucas and pass English while about to fall in love: I can multitask!!!

Update: He also managed to trash Lucas’s favourite basketball court somehow in all his business. He really can multitask!

“If it makes you feel any better I called some woman a bitch the other day” [giggle] I love Karen and Lucas’s relationship

Haley is such a good friend to Lucas and hoo boy Nathan when do you grow a conscience

“You’re both so broody. You could brood together” that’s it, that’s Peyton and Lucas

These emails and VCR references are really dating this show

Nathan is a straight up sociopath in these early eps my god he humiliates Lucas publicly twice at this party and just pops over to Haley like “Hey cutie :) Idk why Lucas is so mad :) I’m rlly nice :)”

Nathan really taking his girlfriend’s car to hit on another woman how much of a crapbag

As soon as I said this he (drunk?) drove her car into a streetlight my god

Deb and Karen having a nice lesbian coffee shop AU would be a pleasant turn in this show instead of literally anything that happens in either of their narratives

“Why would you even go there” “Because I loved getting dumped on” That is... accurate

“I’ll call you when you’re not so PMS” said Nathan, when his (ex) girlfriend rightfully lambasted him for crashing her car

I take it back Peyton and Nathan do have one thing in common it’s their disregard for traffic laws

HELL YEAH Keith IS your dad Lucas <3 <3 <3 <3

Whitey talks a lot of shit for someone who advised Dan to abandon Luke

I had been wondering why Lucas had the Scott name when Dan is such an ephemeral piece of shit and I guess there’s my answer thanks Karen

Does Haley ever find out about the shit Nathan pulled at the party I feel like these are relevant details in her budding affection

“Dad send you to spy on me? Poison my drink?” This is the second time in two episodes Deb has been accused of being Dan’s spy I wonder if she still considers that a red flag 17 years into marriage

“One of the boys doesn’t have a father” BUUUUURN Dan

Rhkgjhgjkh the last moment of this scene:

Keith: There is enough room in my heart for each of my brother’s mistreated sons even the rude ones Nathan

Nathan, experiencing a split second of paternal love: :O

Ghkjghkjgh the Scott bonding in hatred of Dan continues with Lucas asking Nathan if he too would like to spite Dan:

Lucas: You will be receiving your “I Hate Dan Scott” Club invitation in the mail shortly Nathan, mom, Uncle Keith and I hold meetings biweekly

Nathan: Biweekly as in every two weeks or twice a week

Lucas: Both! See you on Tuesday

“Does this mean we’re dating” yes it does the mixed CD is emo code

“Good luck with your game” “yeah, you too, Ma” hehehehe

Someone revoke this college medic’s license hoo boy

Ghjghkgh Lucas keeping his money tucked into his boxers what a doofus

I can’t believe Nathan and Lucas’s second big bonding moment is threatening dudes while in their boxers after beating on each other what a brotherly bond lmao

Okay but highkey if ur a lady and ur friends are gonna leave you alone and vulnerable at night get new friends

“I can live without my shirt” Nathan is thirteen shades of petty lmaooo

Dan is such a bad (abusive) father that Nathan literally would prefer to have none at all my god

“Can I tell you a secret? I pretended too” just get marrrried

“Thanks for cutting Lucas some slack” talk about accepting the bare minimum Haley kjhgkjhgkj

Brooke is really unbearable in this episode is it any wonder her, Lucas and Peyton’s relationship is as dysfunctional as it will soon become

Hoo boy the one (1) time Nathan doesn’t do something douchey and he gets blamed for it

LMAO @ Lucas approaching the one girl at this school with commitment issues with a bold “I wanna be here [in your heart]” hahaha

“Yeah, they can have their world,” said Lucas to Haley, about the two people they would literally go on to marry

The fact that Peyton doesn’t turn off her webcam and just covers it also really speaks to the era

This Gabe dude is really ready to assault a minor like he’s not just a r*pist he’s also a predator double KO

It is not lost upon me that it looks like one pill has been popped out before so he is also a serial r*pist big fucking yikes

“What, you got a cellphone too, dawg? Things sure have changed” also quite dated hahahaha

They really went out of the way to redeem Brooke not only did she give Nathan and Haley a very very cute date she also saved her friend from being assaulted

“So you don’t have any brothers, do you” jhgkhgkhg Brooke please

“Why are you only nice to me when we’re alone” a very legitimate question Haley

Nathan’s dating methodology: There’s nothing in life that can’t be solved with make-outs

Deb is really so nice but every time I look at her I think of her drinking a lot and sleeping with Nathan’s friends lmao

Haha that North Carolina sign explains the mild Southern accents

Aieeeeeeeeeee you kiss that man and follow your dreams Karen

Even if Nathan is still A Lot this season him and Haley are so cute:

Haley, smiling: We can’t do this here right now

Nathan, giggling: We just did

Lucas says more to Dan by constantly leaving with a look of disgust than any words ever could

“My heart’s racing too. That’s what happens when I’m around you. (And on drugs. I’m very unstable Haley.)”

Lucas and Nathan’s very intentional “pressure from your dad” and “you don’t know anything about my dad” bc Lucas will not acknowledge that Senor Crabag Sr. is anything resembling a father bless

Drunk tattoos with crush’s bff Lucas has decided to make all mistakes at once and I respect it

Poor Keith he is trying his best but Lucas just chose this week to hit his rebellious phase

YESSSSSSSSSS DEB KICK THAT ASS OUT OF THIS HOUSE

“Do you really think that Nathan would choose you over me” uh???? Are you not aware you are... the worst father in town

Brooke you were fully aware of Peyton and Lucas’s vibing and actively pursued him/interfered so you have no moral high ground to be like “:) I’d never choose a boy over my friendship”

Skillz and Mouth accurate “hoo boy don’t look” when ur friends start PDA

“Mom doesn’t want things to get back to normal, she wants them to be better” hell yeah Nathan gaining emotional intelligence

Lucas quit projecting your childhood issues onto Jake he too is a child let him decide how he wants to live Jenny’s 6 months old not like she’s gonna remember lmao

Damn Nathan LET LOOSE on Dan fuck that dude

JGFHJGFJGFJH I forgot Gavin Degraw had a cameo hahahahah

Did Luke.......... break into Jake’s house. His parents work at night how was he able to get into Jake’s coffee table

“You do not have to feel like a third wheel” The pure dumbass energy.... Peyton is literally CRYING do u really think her issue is “third wheel” you KNOW she and Lucas had a thing Brooke???????

Me watching this team form a brotherly bond over their mutual love of basketball: Mayhaps sports are... good

Hahahaha Lucas threatening Peyton’s dad with a rake is weirdly endearing

“Hey you.” “Hey you, and you,” is a good summary of this seasons Brooke/Lucas/Peyton dynamic lmao

Why is Dan’s head... shaped that away. It is like a bar of soap

“I don’t mind you playing ‘Daddy’ to one of my offspring, but leave the good one alone, will you?” Dan. Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot at midnight and we’ll have words

“The whole Nice Guy thing is wearing kind of thin” foreshadowing for all the dick moves Lucas is about to pull lmao

“He’s got you skipping school now?” “Lucas talk to me when you get your tattoo removed”

Lucas:

Lucas is such a meddler lmao how many family dynamics is he going to alter

I don’t trust Dan being nice for a minute all he wants is the upper hand with Deb in the inevitable custody battle over Nathan

Props to Nathan and Haley for somehow, some way, being the only normal couple on this show despite their incredibly dubious origins lmao

Scott family dinners are bananas I count four (4) major revelations and they haven’t even revealed that Deb and Dan are separated

Lucas and Peyton are really hitting every fictional couple trope in this ep - road trip, bed sharing, hurt/comfort, truly the YA bases

“The truth? In this house?” Props to Deb for drama lmao

Brooke saying ‘I love you’ you’ve been dating for like two episodes but okay kjhgkjhg

I can’t say I understand Nathan’s logic lmao but I guess they have to bring him back to basketball sometime

Wow Lucas zero hesitation on that second kiss lmao u r a mess

This scene is the definition of “that escalated quickly” they go straight to undressing

HAHAHAH NATHAN BEING SHIRTLESS IN HALEY’S DREAM FOR NO REASON 10/10 TEENAGE ACCURACY

“How do you explain being with me and not her?” “Because with you, I saw a future” that’s Dan code for ‘I’m a gold digger’

You’re literally macking on Peyton in the middle of the hallway while you’re dating the other most popular girl in school Lucas how are you this ridiculous and bold BREAK UP WITH BROOKE U DUMBASS

“So what are we going to do” I’ll tell you what you should do BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

Keith it is still daylight out stop bringing alcohol into this high school you have a drinking problem

“Can’t control love, you know?” THAT’S NOT ADVICE LUCAS BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

I really can’t handle watching Keith and Lucas self-destruct this episode how is Nathan the only Scott in a happy, healthy relationship

“You know that this is... wrong, so that makes it feel... deeper?” Lucas asks, as if he were not entirely in the wrong by carrying on with Peyton (who is not in a relationship) while dating Brooke

“I don’t want to hurt Brooke,” he said, about to start his third secret cheating makeout session of the week

“But then again our spouses aren’t here are they” [Deb opens door] COMEDIC TIMING

Gjjhgkjhg Nathan revealing his messed up intentions with Haley entirely by accident Scotts have no self-control whatsoever it’s their kekkei genkai

Lucas evading responsibility for his romance crimes by literally dying

Hahahah Karen’s confused vibes at Brooke are kind of the highlight of this episode

How funny would it be if Lucas woke up to Karen scolding him about his tattoo

Hahahaha for such dysfunctional partners Nathan and Peyton are excellent exes

AHHHHHHHHH LUCAS WAKING UP TO HIS BROTHER... MY HEART

Keith rlly was gonna propose after zero (0) days of dating I’m telling you no self-control is truly the Scott clan kekkei genkai

Ahhhh bless Karen’s compassion

Dan is literally blackmailing his son into staying in his custody he is in Deb’s words an “abusive son of a bitch”

Fucking finally Lucas ends this sham of a relationship with Brooke

It’s wild that Nathan is the only Scott with a happy and healthy romantic relationship

Nathan divorcing his parents is a real power move

I’m glad Haley announced Sheryl Crow’s name because let me tell you I would not have recognized her on sight

“How’s my daughter” Lucas really chooses exclusively to hook up with people who have devastating emotional consequences for his immediate friend group huh

“Funny I didn’t know you were forgiving at all” Lmao Peyton is that really the position you’re going to take after cheating with your best friend’s boyfriend

All the deodorant product placement lmao ‘this ep sponsored by Secret’

All things considered I think Lucas is handling Haley’s constant ditching p well

Bfhkghghjg Keith buying a new shirt just to go to dinner with Karen stop

OH MY GOD THE EP REALLY WAS SPONSORED BY SECRET IT’S GOT SECRET ON THE CHEER COMPETITION BANNERS AND A LITTLE GIFT BAG RANDOMLY IN ALL THE CHEERLEADER CONFRONTATIONS JKGHKJGH

The comedic timing of “hungover idiots” panning to Karen and Larry kills me

“She used to be this totally original.... Haley” what does this mean????

I don’t think Nathan and Haley are being entirely fair to Lucas bc he was only a dick once she ditched him twice (or thrice?) in one weekend

This boy toy auction as a concept is so inappropriate on so many levels

“I get Nathan for free” Fhjkfhkfjh Haley pls

God I was so very concerned about whether or not Nathan and Peyton were gonna kiss

“You’re not a mess, you’re just in love” [Ole Del Paso Girl voice] Why not both?

“She’s nine months old, just in case you forgot” to be fair I assume Nikki gave birth so she would remember that you can’t hold that one over her

It must take Lucas some mental disconnect to assume Peyton and Nathan are cheating when he also kissed Haley

Fhjfhkjfhjfh Keith fulfilling my fave trope of ‘we are not even dating but how about we get married bc we’ve been repressed in love for years’

“You know I asked your mom to get an abortion,” said Dan, to his literal son

I really can’t figure where this pregnancy storyline is going bc I know Brooke doesn’t have a baby

Nathan and Haley really need to consider oral or smth there’s a middle ground between making out and having vaginal sex

“It all hurts just the same” Brooke really out here trying to say that cheating is in any way equivalent to faking a pregnancy (even if only for a week)

Peyton and Brooke are way more invested in each other than Lucas

“I got you a high five” Hahahhaa I love Peyton

Gary like: Wow Nathan it’s humanizing that your father is an abusive dick

“Maybe this is the one that changed him” Lucas joining Dan as the second and only non-Dan member of the Dan Scott Apologism Club

It’s wholly unreasonable that Haley expects her boyfriend not to look at p*rn lmao

I love all this Lucas and Nathan bonding but I hate that it comes at the cost of Dan being near them at all u stay away from those boys u manipulative fuck

Ah the foreshadowing about Peyton changing in front of her webcam finally pays off

I’m no legal expert but I don’t think that taking your daughter out of state will help you in the custody battle in the long term Jake - nor will dropping out of high school

“What do I get out of it” r u 4 real Keith u dont get payment for loving your family

“I’m leaving because I can’t look at you anymore without my heart breaking” I like you Keith but that sounds like a You Problem

This is a fun way to shoot this episode One Tree Hill has such good directing tbh

Nathan discarding the Scott name from his jersey just like Lucas did in ep 2:

Haley: Having sex will solve all of my problems Nathan what are you talking about

I remembered that at some point Deb and Keith have sex and I’m glad they fuck things up early bc I could not deal if it was later on

“I’ll miss you too, little brother” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

KJKGHKJHGJHKJHGKJHKJ I CAN’T BELIEVE NATHAN AND HALEY GOT MARRIED JUST TO HAVE SEX THIS IS WHY THEY DON’T LET PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN 18 VOTE

#ayesha says things #ayesha liveblogs oth #liveblogging #long post #a very long post lmao #one tree hill #this is the kind of content i make now lol

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universek · 5 years

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The Main Man and Dawg. Lobo is one of my favorite looking DC characters. That hair alone just makes him interesting, add in the face paint, biker clothes and the intergalactic bounty hunter just comes together. You gotta love the attitude that comes with all of that. He just doesn't give a shit who you are, he's gonna kick your ass. I'd love to see a movie of him, though I think they screwed up in casting Jason Mamoa for Aquaman, he would have been perfect as Lobo. What do you think do you like the character and do you think he needs the movie treatment as soon as DC gets their cinematic universe together? ————————- Created in @adobe Illustrator on a @wacom Cintiq #lobo #mainman #dawg #bountyhunter #dccomics #comics #dcu #dcuniverse #vector #vectorart #comicart #comicbooks https://www.instagram.com/p/B06m7v0ja2a/?igshid=60b7bf99d3gc

#lobo #mainman #dawg #bountyhunter #dccomics #comics #dcu #dcuniverse #vector #vectorart #comicart #comicbooks

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guiltybodiesx · 5 years

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dawg i just finished two of my midterms today and lemme tell you i originally had three but the universe threw me a bone and extended one til tomorrow

i had a mental breakdown bc college is kicking my ass and i tried dropping one of my classes and apparently i cant do that anymore

i had to suck it up and finish the test

in conclusion,

i think this is the perfect time to get my lil "in too deep" tattoo

#personal #studyblr #????hardly lol #college is fun!#csun

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marcosoropoet · 6 years

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Pavlovian Tingle-Railway [Station Blackout] ~ (or express razor eye out Mr. Tingle)

1. Kloud killer chiller kulture canyon snake basement forge tight street corner deal forced ink steel night deal danger: Nawnawnawman. mah bruh? ten dollahs on a hundid?! Heh, I knows you's tryin tah pop it right by keeping it tight homie but this muthahfuckin-assed bullshit yo ...The Fuck Outta Here dawg thas some sorry assed real bullshit you tryin' tah pull homie home re-union haze of teenage (((flashback glitch))) in his head left a hilarious grease spot on the blackboard & chemical vandals sizzling in his brain. the green dusty blackboard in a delicately crystalline formulaic tableau of wood and numbers the vicissitudes of black snow the color of darkened ash has hushed all the talk, as he walks in tonight... menacing heights of fire escape drills, getting a dart in the back slo-mo, someone had poured soda into the ketchup bottle and now small torrents of bubbling red oozes & blooms out over the entire table ahhh! the other man makes slight adjustments to his demeanor to be less 'street' and more 'invited' why it's his reunion. flinch. ruination anguish]...dark train car rumbling out of a long dank tunnel why'd I think to see those people (((again))) — all the dark mirrors burn each morning with the sun coming up got the snake eye fingernail pie & the sway all day boo" swooning dust and pitter-patter rain falling on the wood and concrete burst open telephone call in a very clean & empty conference room all cool grey, and smoked glass ultra post-modern a tart aroma permeated throughout the heated glass sun, spun glass sun, glass skin, black tea, your loose spacetime textile, hunched machinations launched the sniper river: filled with humid headrush & slowed down lunge... bell strikes upon time textile carousal corral I'll crack tea soon, planet zone houseout your concrete vibrations played earth, I joke but I don't play hot black grit is dense milky frozen afterflow stillness flight from disorientation crush inside hothouse of humid bright light vivid green curling leaves, frozen stillness of isolated thought timestamp molecules pierce loose clean shimmers sheerly, behind a crystal sky lattice tethering, examine gravel and glass stars, vivid flowers spying are bright: sand pebbles, sun, glimmers sheerly, behind the headlong tangible surfaces, singing head, the pristine universe: filled with air, swooning belts of galaxies, silence of people spin roar and black grit is white black snow of ash razor spin cycle of blood...eyes...ears...horror. between brass skin, into an unspeaking, unexpected whole city falling, hears what time. namedrop sibelius, but no good. I had gone over to piss on a clean slab. city heavy the day fragmented air, swooning body between my fingers, from rooves near edges elbowing real business of people television sidewalk morning show trauma. 2. uncanny sharp terror reflection of purple surfaces, doing my heavy whole city hears white noise and through a candlelit's merriment chili & hot black onyx coffee deems me grass sun, glass stars, glass skin, blank memory shimmers in hems, a blown out window, gusts of icy air, was I walking in circles that day? Yes. (outtake 15: "you wanna do the purple surface deflection again, or the blank noise, or the tinsel applause rose confetti trick...) suspicious mirrors coalition carry long fingers of light, floodlight: store window glass stars, glass sun, glass sunlit coppery direction, spacetimes. sand. cut granules. increments of ideals. my song. black tea, your loose diamond-snake in hemisphere air expanded the sense of screams of the bitten who had become crazed and dethroned. Off with him. OFF. smoothing body dry at the woods' lake edge. the sense of elbowing heavy thunderstore window glass sunlit coppery direction, spacetime textile, caricature. it is what time textile, hunched...( ). every roof dots the night. bells of mirrors repeating swirling sense-blur of heady fruity honeysuckle, hot blue flowers were to go to headlong silvergold touch flame of snooty persona non grata, fractal gravity tethering my fingers, glassy black tea I had gone over the eyes like a million lilacs, cut citrus yellow hot nailgun hems gather the whole, bunched-up coarse fabric and brusquely sew through the thick tough cloth poke & bleed hole into thumb... cut citrus bitter teeth, together what white noise time. in the world...vampires go somewhere else during that time as they begin to sting and burn hazy coalition of suspicious two-way mirrors, spacetimes switched in cool cyberpunk density of mechanical and grey cliffs superimposed "mr. chili & hot-thought focus reflect purple surfaces, sun, glass stare tangy sea-spray hits the spot dothole city head, the shirt is absolutely suspicious mirror of television carousal." beautiful unspeaking, who in deep solitude, and the bells of home over the sepia photographs beneath smoked glass, drank coffee. outtake 7: naw first mix the drums. cymbals clash & smoke swirls around a black infinity screen...I like my vehicle heh-heh porque es muy correcto cógelo compound of the informal second-person singular radio static monstrous popping loops of short waves can we go back & add more drums on top straight away?fucking clowns" owning eyes, the vastest untormented rain-soaked newspaper liesure headed back to the planet of purple dunes and long drenched weeks of night and vertical waves of vibrant light-color mister, you gotta see it for yourself oh so you speak this. good. the space of a thought & sunless rose hanging where a parking universal zip code of your paw-paw fishing for debris in Jupiter flash over glitter green fishnets; these shots were hidden and codenamed: "ZZ Legs" 3. outtake 1: band tuning up dialogue heard (cackling raunch) cracking up unstoppably...right, anybody know where the green guitar went?bloody sold it?he fuckin crazy!!! you could see the blood rising in his neck and temple veins alert today (((you?))) with identity overhead cranking tarantula of metal & ice rising dynamic inversion, tangible fumes, kloud killer chiller kulture canyon snake scale basement killer chiller vein driller no filler no filter radioactive reiteration seeker out there basement cracked, hatchet wielder crack good time dark whip in good time, at blood manor of (((thinking)))... detached arid solipsism generates the worst cosmopolitan anecdotes dismantled donned unwashed plenitude killer killer fecund reverts to gradients dismantling each mustard-colored enclosure pocket, rumblings of what smiles and creaks tantalizing razor into the sunlights & sunlight & sunlight's razor-sharp cut where a thousand days ran in dark mirrors bursting through torrents of fruity bodywash exploding from the old tv. did time have something to do with playing that scene in reverse? rumblings of abrasive verbal angst. this could change nothing in the memory of the differing, somewhat superimposed seasons, and regions of the psyche's endless topography and subtle extras. Ever see big mountain stones. Where? With identity garbed, dispersed, in exposed retinas with identity hours away, abrasive sandspray in the eyes and kick to the gut before hyper speed chaotic scene/car chase/ fruitstands decimated confetti storm in jewel tone bust ))). alert to run in happy blinding onto one that is there, not in part. with a fresh braid from cracked roses hung up in snow and smoke, *** overhead cranking tarantula of metal & ice rising dynamic inversion, tangible fumes, kloud killer chiller kulture canyon snake basement cracked hatchet wielder in good time, at blood manor of (((thinking)))... detached arid solipsism generates the worst cosmopolitan anecdotes dismantled donned unwashed plenitude killer killer fecund reverts to gradients dismantling each mustard-colored enclosure, forge forced reunion flinch ruination anguish]...dark train car all dark mirror burn from mama each morning, better the misgivings of blue trees, into gas stupid disowned eyes, the vastest spit of untormented strung down stupified, feeling rain-soaked the space of a thought & sunless rose sparkling unguent, parking universal zip codes of your paw-paw fishing tongue stump hush lagoon fireflies — alert today (((you?))) with identity tusk doodle ember light rumblings of what smiles and creaks tantalizing onto matter of abrasive window with you, and ran in the sunlit heavily garbed, dispersed out his own mythic eyes winters rooftops, had time to run in exposed retinas' splendor clasp, smashed out eyes & all windows, the sunless rooftops smashed, fingers rose from crack liquid officers roses embellishing a gold mask *** fishing for a window and ran in the Laundromat an eerie confessional ambient track beneath the while of detergent pods reversal zip codes of december's scratch down loose from earth golden rock sunless rooftops, headless rooftops, had time to turn today unpeeling stretched on, fingers bursting unceasing, better off euphoria than rainy days yet I have been euphoric on rainy days, the light refracted on rainy city nights is dazzling, optic. matter of what smiles and stretched a window with you, and winters rose hanging purple a tapestry fractal repetition hidden inside everything heavy stones, old earth blood-purple heavy stolen hungry in a smashed autographed rapid metal scrape turning signals sent of empire time dilation, time-fabric tug cushioned by thick striations of black matter slathered embellished disruption in quantum fixtures of intelligent light tableau vivant in constant great surprise hey somebody over there standing on the corner half-hidden ...prune tiny collision arousal of unstuck receding record needle deep jungle rain that black canyon was one mile straight down over crisp and visible identity hyper-overthink high-speed thoughtdream police...ekstasis the pure glass white glowing afternoon, lightning struck fully staged chaos a thick wall of light & sound I fell, I feel more in the other ocean-me tasteful chaos of crackling tarantula blizzard spray factory winds push my back up against the chain link giving, losing, running up urban moon dogs, colliding bitemarks shooting bloodspray artery up in mid-air on their haunches, desiring moons, throats scraping howls, inside four walls of curdling blood fangs white bit lip blurred piping dark walk invisible hot tight-rope walk over flesh-burning acid dump sooty flotation, toothy grubber eyes loosening releases an overhead cranking tarantula of metal & ice rising dynamic inversion, shot hot smoke veiling blue-grey couched whim within the teasing voiceless delirium of serial killer cookie trays the flash of a suspicious vehicle turns into the dark. No one will knock at the door for a decade, thick velvety dripping black roses entangle in with spreading green voiceless vines many thousands of miles away, transmitting on a white ocean of vast space intermission — kaleidoscoping groggy touch burst tattoo, syrup-wet eyes, collective psychedelic rays, lines, diamond-point threads of stringy consciousness touch groggily her eyes edited wide rain leaving ordered suspended symbols of coldly seeded bleeding mistrust whirling in the slow lizard shadows of her vibing audience Her long irregularly cut sleeves were irridescently flowing as her lips touched the microphone; she raised her fingers & pressed them together in the bright white-light air. . That may eclipse & dilate, but won't brown-out. That may eclipse & dilate, but won't brown-out. That I have known. There are no cracks in and though a very persistent illusion... reality that never blinks in blurred eras & sweaty flashback of ZFG. I clunkily yanked keeping the sociopath. Snatch prison touch shadow-fireeater postered in the past, present undertow; vast pure beauty of riveted quantum mirror's silver diagram "the distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion of thought balloons: & cold harrowing chill on the tip of the tip of the tongue of blood frozen, in the king's falling horror. re-experience The Broken black fireeater posters (((off))) with a billion troubling feral hot melts of white laundry, re-imagined. In/out, tongue. Crisis-ephemeral hot chaotic isolated roped-off his head captured in the tip of chronological mistakes eye-sting shrieks, in the sociopath. Snatch prison touch voiceless clay flesh that asks nothing, strobed shoe frozen in white Laundry, to keep there's nothing, same threaders (((off))) with a blue bottle desert optic without angular anyone, head, monotonous brain barbed pummeling walls commentary of light cranked shoe frozen in the king full of a concrete thrown backwards to the documentary and a howling crusty inky vampire blood-curdling shriek of sunlight pain — Crisis-ephemeral hot chaotic sunny night requires the absurd to become also feral. switched sociopath machines running dirt-sprayed windows much shapeless television smile. Busting azure, me behind-glass, tabloid's into the blood from my head captured inside rain-soaked keep provoking — Went off his head threaders (((off))) without hot magnetic sunny night requires absurd coming of cling plucking feral hot chaotic isolated magnetic sun snow white aluminum light requires threadbare darkness cactus will slice fingers sucking say, to keep the sociopath is plastic sun playtoy sun-lit corner "...that ain't no drug-dog man, that dog can't smell shit!" 4. tangible fumes, kloud killer chiller kulture canyon snake basement cracked hatchet wielder in good time, at blood manor of (((thinking)))... detached arid solipsism generates the worst cosmopolitan anecdotes dismantled donned unwashed plenitude killer killer fecund reverts to gradients dismantling each mustard-colored enclosure, forge forced reunion flinch ruination anguish]...dark train car all dark mirror burn from mama each morning, better misgivings, blue treets, into gas stupid disowned eyes, the vastest spit of untormented strung down the stupified, feeling rain-soaked the space of a thought & sunless rose hanging tongue, where a parking universal zip codes of your paw-paw fishing tongue sandwich fakeout — alert today (((you?))) with identity tusk ember lightflash holo. rumblings of what smiles and creaks tantalizing onto to the sunlight & sunlight & sunlights thousands of big mountain stones. Where? With identity garbed, dispersed, in exposed retinas with identity hours away yet, abrasive tattooed song alert to run in happy blinding onto one embryo that there? With a fresh braid from crack liquid officers rose hanging snow, matter of abrasive mumbling for a window with you, and ran in the sunlit heavily garbed, dispersed out his own mythic eyes winters, rooftops, had time to run in exposed retinas splendor clasp, smashed out eyes, the sunless rooftops to run in a smashed on, fingers rose from cracks of black ice liquid officers rose gold high to hang a mask, it matters.rooftops today. untormented & stuck turning today (((you?))) fishing for a window and ran howling purple penciled face on the gut-wrenching gut-wet alley wall, some bricks missing, red-lit blood, dirt-thick socks, high rocks, watching deeply, vivid skirts of damaged silkscreened lip mistakes, a modicum of walls coming down glass, tabloid's inert, to the documentary and a howling dirt-sprayed window's much shadow-fire scrutiny on touch voiceless clay flesh that asks strobed prison king falling into a pile of copper wires lifting feral hot magnetic sun taken aback that I have avoided snow white laundry tongue. And taking the kingly cup tossed it into the teeming hot fire licks of smoke. ~ Marcos Oro

#Pavlovian Tingle-Railway [Station Blackout] ~ (or express razor eye out Mr. Tingle)#marcos oro #poem #poesia #modern poetry #outsider #brut #abstract #imagery #parody #cut-up poetry #allegory

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tinybellz-blog · 7 years

Text

Brotherly Love Pt 2.

Who → Tiny Bell & Vince Bell

When → April 28th 2017

Where → North Bay Jail

Notes → Tiny tries to get some clarity on his life and a few other subjects from his brother

Tiny: felt more at ease as opposed to the last time he was here. Maybe it was because his brother had been deemed good enough to have physical contact with visitors now, or maybe it was because of how calm he'd been over the past few weeks. Still, as he headed inside the visitation room, he could only think of what his brother had to say since he'd written him last. So much had happened, not only to him, but Vanessa as well. How much did Vince really know about the outside world since he managed to arrange for her to have a safe house? All these questions buzzed through Tiny's head, but he decided to psych himself down and took a seat at the metal table. He looked around, noticing other inmates talking and hugging their families and loved ones, hoping he'd get to do the same.

Vince: It was the first time Vince was allowed a visitor outside of the restrictions of a glass wall and a telephone, and he was glad that it was going to be his brother. He was doing better than the last time he’d seen him. Vince had managed to find some peace of mind in prison. He took up boxing with a group, threw himself into his assigned job making license plates, and had gotten a haircut. But there were things happening on the outside that he still needed to be clued into. And just because he hadn’t heard of much trouble happening, he wasn’t so naive to believe that meant all was well. He walked into the open area, giving a nod to one of his fellow inmates before turning to see his brother seated at a table waiting for him. “Wassup dawg” he grinned, making his way over to dap him up and pull him into a tight hug. “How ya living?” he asked as he finally took his seat on the other side.

Tiny: peered his head up as he saw more inmates coming to visit their loved ones, and he couldn't help but smile once he saw his brother. The first thing he noticed was that he looked a bit different..a little more muscle, but it was more about his inner appearance that he felt had changed over time. "Yo, you're being good in here? Color me shocked.", he half joked as he stood up, dapped and hugged him back. It felt great to actual touch his brother again, even if it was only for a little while. He took his seat and shrugged, trying to play everything off as cool. "Eh, I can't complain. I mean, I'm /living/ so I gotta be grateful." With a smirk, Tiny pulled down the top of his shirt a little to reveal the scar on his chest from his operation. "I've been through way too much for some little heart attack to put me down."

Vince: shook his head and laughed at his brother’s comment. “Guess I can’t be a delinquent forever” he chuckled, knowing it was ironic statement considering he was clad from the shoulders down in a green prison jumpsuit. He couldn’t wipe the grin from his face, not able to believe that he was sitting face to face with his brother. It certainly made turning the other cheek and complying with prison authority worth it. When his brother reached to show him his scar however, his grin faded. He knew Tiny could handle his own, but he still felt like he was lacking in his duties as a big brother not being able to be there for him through something so traumatic. ‘Damn, that’s a mean scar you got there..” he commented. “But I’m proud of you bro”

Tiny: "But seriously..glad you're doing alright in here.", he said sincerely. While he had no doubt that Vince was still Vince at the end of the day, meaning he'd always have a few tricks and a mean streak up his sleeve, but he was glad to see that he could mellow out some and be..normal. Hopefully others would get the chance to see this side of him one day. He knew that showing his scar would be a messy subject, but there was no reason to hide anything from his brother after all. "Thanks. I guess I got a little caught up in this whole..jock thing. My bad.", he shrugged as he put his shirt back together. "I promise I'm done with that stuff though, I'm done going nuts with the sports stuff, doctor's told me to chill for a little bit. Aunt V was freaked, but we're working through it. Oh! And she did want to come, but she had work, important attorney work or something, but she said she'll come next time."

Vince: “Yeeah, maybe if I keep it up they’ll fuck with me on a early release or something.” Vince knew the chances of that happened were probably slim, but at this point he was willing to do whatever he needed to get back to his life. Vince listened as his brother explained to him--and nodded, understanding. He had no plans to chastise his brother for his mistake after all people had done way worse things than take steroids to succeed. He was in a penitentiary full of them. “I’m glad you’re good T. You know how them drugs can fuck with you” After all, Vince and Tiny used to sell to some pretty doped out people--they’d seen first hand how much they can really fuck with a person’s life. At the mention of his Aunt Viv he gave another subtle nod, honestly, he didn’t expect her to take time out of her life to come visit him. he damn sure wouldn’t if he was her. “So what are you gonna do about football, man? Did they kick you off the team or something?”

Tiny: could only nod, but he hoped that his brother would get out on early release, though he knew the chances of that happening were slim with the case against Vince so large. And if there was such a release or pardon, it wouldn't be coming anytime soon, he imagined. For now, all he could do was hope for the best and hope Vince's time in here would be as much of a breeze as it could be. He was glad that his brother hadn't come down on him too hard, as was his fear before he came, the last thing he wanted to hear was how dumb his mistake was. "Yeah, I know. I thought everything was cool when I stopped, but I guess not. Hell, if Drew hadn't punched me in my chest, I could have had /more/ damage done to me.", he admitted with a small shake of his head. Drew Torres being his savior wasn't something he liked to talk about a lot, but he saved his life, he had to give him some credit. At the mention of what he'd do about football, he sighed heavily, still unsure. "Nah, haven't told Armstrong yet. But man, I don't know. I like it, but I hate the stupid ass athlete rules. Can't talk to this person, can't talk to that person, it's dumb as shit. I like doing my own thing like you did. I'm thinking about joining V's group but, she's got her own shit going on."

Vince: Hearing Drew Torres’ name caused Vince’s jaw to clench, but he tried not to let any particular reaction get the better of him. It didn’t exactly comfort him to hear that he was the one that ended up saving his baby brother’s life but he figured he’d take it in stride for now. It was all he could do. When it came to the matter of his group Vince couldn’t stop himself from releasing a chuckle and shaking his head. Degrassi would never change. “Well at the end of the day you know V’s got your back--and if the athletes are still the athletes they aren’t about shit. I wouldn’t trust them.” Vince knew how shit ran in those popular circles, after all he was the personal oxy dealer of Miss Katie Matlin herself. Those kids weren’t each other's real friends. Clearly, they barely knew each other. But they smiled in each other's faces and passed time all in the name of the social food chain. “But--” he interjected, raising his hand. “I don’t think sticking with the football is a bad idea. And if you really want to play then you just gotta deal with them” Vince shrugged. After this year Tiny had a year of high school left. And next year if he decided to play football it could land him a university spot. “But um, speaking of V--” he interjected, scratching his nose. He shifted forward a little and lowered his voice, knowing how precarious her situation was. “What’s going on there?”

Tiny: knew of the history that Drew Torres had with not only Vince, but Vanessa as well. Or at least, what he'd been told from their accounts anyway. But still, if he was willing to let bygones be bygones, then maybe Vince could, at least just this once. Tiny felt that the trials and tribulations of high school cliques were basically third world problems compared to what his brother was dealing with, but a little mundane normalcy might keep him entertained, maybe he'd even provide some insight that would help him. "You're right. I mean, I only really trust like one. Everybody is kinda shady, especially Dallas.", he said with a roll of his eyes as he spoke his name, "Speaking of that, I beat the shit out of him. Got too all in my business so I had to pop him. Good stuff.", he boasted proudly with a small laugh. Tiny raised his brows, but reluctantly nodded at his brother's suggestion. "I guess you're right on that. But I've gotta make a change to them or something, it's too crazy.", he shrugged as he knew he'd have another choice to make considering this. "You mean the..ooh. Uh, she's alright from what I know. I haven't seen you-know-who in ages and he hasn't bothered V." Tiny was curious about the matter, so he pressed on, albeit speaking quietly. "But I thought you'd know more than me. You let her in your safe house, you didn't put a hit out on the dude?"

Vince: had to give a huff at the mention of Mike Dallas as well, everything about that dude read fraud. And he didn’t buy for a minute that the same Mike Dallas that used to get fucked up and then fuck anything that moved like it was his profession was all of a sudden a straight and narrow kind of guy. But he chuckled along with his brother that he ended up fighting him. “Bout time somebody shut him up” Vince grinned. He saw Tiny was at a real crossroads when it came to this whole clique situation--he would tell him to just go rogue like he did last year and forget everyone but people liked Tiny. And being a loner isn’t something you did unless you had to. “It’s up to you at the end of the day.” he nodded, letting his brother know he was behind him whatever he decided. Vince shook his head “I mean, setting up the house is easy to do on the phone but a hit? I know they got these shits tapped. And I’m not really tryna end up back in solitary..” Vince shook his head, wishing he had more of a grip on the situation. “I talked to get Mario to come out here so we could talk about it face to face but you know it’s hard to get people all the way out here. But as long as she’s there he’ll look out for her” He shrugged, making a mental note to call him later and check on things. “So how’s your love life bro? I hope you’re out here getting more than me” he chuckled. “What ever happened to that little piece you had with the pink hair last year? Lola?”

Tiny: "I'll make a mental note to make him flinch one time for you next time I see him in the locker room.", Tiny spoke with a laugh. He knew of the tension between Dallas and his brother, and if he could pester the shit out of the older male until he graduated then that was just icing on the cake. "Thanks man, I'll figure it all out..but I know I'll be good.", he said confidently with a nod of his head. Tiny felt like going it alone sometimes, but while Tiny liked to be a loner from time to time, he felt a sense of responsibility and pride in the way he carried himself now. If he could make a better way for someone younger, be they athlete or an artist, then he'd try his best to be that guide in their life. Tiny listened to his brother speak, sort of getting a handle on the situation somewhat and figuring that setting things up wasn't so easy on the inside. "Right..wouldn't want you to go back there..hell, it'd probably be hard to get guys like that to even come out here. Heck, /I/ don't even like prisons.", he shuddered with a shake of his head. Tiny would try his best to handle the Vanessa situation the best way he knew how, although he wished she'd update him more herself. At the mention of his love life, Tiny couldn't help but smirk and fold his hands behind his head. "Ay, she's got pink hair /and/ ass for days. Don't forget that. Heh.", he boasted before smiling more sincerely. "But nah. It's going good. I mean, I tried with Dallas's cousin Shay and she's cool..but besides him being dick and making it hard..I never stopped caring for Lo. I love her, man."

Vince: “Nah, nobody does” he replied, letting his eyes glance around for a moment at the company they were surrounded by in the small meeting area. No one really looked happy to be there. Glad to see their loved ones maybe, but a hint of discomfort lingered nonetheless. Turning to his attention back to his brother as he discussed Lola he laughed, shaking his head. “Alright bro, handle that” he praised him-- he’d never really looked at her that way since she was so young but he always thought she was a good fit for his brother. “So is that your girlfriend or you’re just talking or wassup?” There was a sense of normalcy that Vince could appreciate in the two of them being able to sit here and talk about girls, but he felt both eyebrows raise when his brother mentioned that he loved the girl. “Wow” he remarked, another grin creeping onto his features. His little brother, in love. “That’s crazy T-- but aye I fuck with it. Good for you.”

Tiny: watched Vince look around, feeling a bit bad again for bringing up Vince's current predicament. Although he didn't blame any of them, Tiny felt a sense of disappointment that more people didn't come to visit him, but when you go to jail, he figured things weren't as simple as they once were. Still, Tiny would try to be there, even if others didn't feel like following, just like always. The sense of normalcy was nice to have though as the two discussed girls again, a sense of pride beaming from him as he spoke about his life. "Yeah, that's mine's. I mean, she's no street girl, but I think Pops would be proud.", he smiled as he raised his fist to fist bump his brother. "She's making me think long term bro. I mean, I'm not rushing anything, I still wanna go to college and do all that shit. But after? I'm trying to start my own family, if not with her then somebody. Make our name mean something.", he said with a sense of hope. "I guess I've come a long way from that scrawny little kid that couldn't fight, hmm?"

Vince: could feel a sense of pride sitting here and listening to Tiny discuss his plans for the future. He’d always knew he was going to be the one to go out and make something of himself, and from the way he was talking it sounded like he was gearing up to prove him right. Vince scratched the back of his shaven head, giving his brother a playful shrug. “I mean I guess I could see some little Tinys running around somewhere down the line” he chuckled. “Hopefully their heads don’t come out as big as yours” It was crazy to him how..grown Tiny looked. He didn’t know what type of diet Degrassi had their athletes on, but he seemed bigger eveytime he saw him. But no matter what, to Vince, he’d always be his baby bro. “So what are you thinking about as far as university? You been looking at anywhere special?” He was really clueless as to how the whole application process went, having never applied himself. But if Tiny went he’d be the first out of their little immediate family to go and that meant something to him.

Tiny: "Heh, if I could just have little Tinys, I'd be good. If I had a girl though...man. I'd be swinging on every dude that'd try to talk to her, cause I know how dudes are. But at least they'll have their Uncle Vince to help them out.", he spoke with a hopeful tone. Tiny wasn't sure how long Vince would be in here for, but he hoped his brother would be free in time to see Tiny have his own family for himself, if not years before that. But of course, that was easier thought than talked about. Tiny grimmaced and laughed as he ran his hand through his hair to examine his own head. "Hey! One, the hair makes it look bigger, and two, it's to fit my big brain." At the mention of college, Tiny thought for a moment before answering. College was a big step, something he never really thought he'd be able to go to last year, but now with the sky being the limit, he had a lot to think about. "I'm thinking Brown for science maybe, Columbia, Cal Tech..NYU and Morehouse are my top two though, but I'm not sure about going so far from Aunt V, you know?" Tiny was enjoying staying with his Aunt and Uncle and his cousins over the past months, as brief as it had been, and he didn't want to leave them after only being their a short time. "If I don't get a scholarship with sports or whatever though, I can always apply for financial aid or scholarship. If I write an essay about my life to these big shots? I know I'd get the 'underprivileged black street kid' scholarship, but I ain't complaining about handouts."

Vince: “Whatever you gotta tell yourself, kid” he chuckled along with him at his big head comment. He was attentive to his brother’s college plans, and knew this conversation was the first of many considering he had a long road of applications and test scores ahead of him. But Vince was going to try his best to be as involved as his incarceration would allow with this whole college thing. “You kidding? Just tell them about that week straight we ate hot dogs and baked beans for dinner and they’ll be throwing the money at you.” As far as Vince saw it it wasn’t a handout--it was more of an investment. And the least they could do for kids like Tiny, who didn’t grow up with a whole lot of resources but made up for it in their smarts. Just as he was about to open his mouth to speak again he felt a tap on his shoulder, an awaiting officer letting him know that it was time to wrap up. Vince turned back to his brother in spite of the warning. “Aye--Imma call you this weekend so make sure you pick up, alright?” he asked, looking the other male straight on.

Tiny: felt a little strange talking about college plans with his brother still. It felt like just yesterday Tiny didn't have much hope for leaving Toronto, let alone going to college. He felt like he'd be abandoning his brother and the life they'd grown accustom to. But things were different now, and Tiny felt like he had a chance to do or be anything he wanted, thankfully with his entire family's support. Tiny could only laugh at the story Vince told him, remembering all too well their diet as youngsters. "Hey, who doesn't love pork and beans? Easy, cheap, and fills you up. It was better than the syrup sandwiches Ma used to make that just made us even more hungry.", he said with a smile. "But I'll try to make my sob story for them less..illegal. I think." Tiny wasn't sure how or even if someone was going to pay for his way for college, so whether it be scholarships or loans, Tiny was going to try his best to not let anyone the opportunity go to waste, if he was fortunate enough to get it that is. When Tiny saw a guard approaching the two, he knew that their time was just about up for now. With a sigh, Tiny gathered his things and stood up, sad to have this time end, but even sadder that he felt used to only being able to see his brother in brief visits. It was better than nothing, he thought to himself, though. Tiny nodded, raising his fist and bumping it with Vince. "Sure thing. I've got a drive back to TO anyway, I should be home by then. No worries, I'll keep an eye on everything.", he added before quickly hugging his brother before the guard escorted him back into the prison. As Tiny started to exit the building, he knew he still had a lot of things to deal with back home, but it was comforting to know he still had someone watching over things he couldn't from the inside.

#para #p:brotherly love #think i'll tag all the bell bro stories like this so it's easier to find :)

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sinnythemagificent · 5 years

Text

.. 1:05 am.

Saint Pablo - Kanye West.

i’m sitting here in my freshly cleaned room; reflecting on my latest head-to-head battle with what seems like an endless depression. this shit is really detrimental. i’m unable to properly vent because of my insecurities about weakness in my image. my family and best friend constantly ask me to vent because they see brokness and less of who i was when even we have conversations. i’m sorry y’all. it’s just so much that’s bothering me and i don’t ever want to be a burden to any of you. you’ve saved me time and time again and i can’t letchall be responsible for my bullshit. stamped. i know that might be hard to think of but.. hey man, say man. y’all know i’ma always be good. it ain’t a army that can strike back, kna’mean? y’all know the steelo.

tha gnarly⚠️🤟🏾.

to my bastards and savage: peace y’all, i love y’all so much b. we got a bond not even blood could build. this shit was truly established in the universe. all 5 elements. all numbers adding up to the amount of planets in the solar system? cmon now. can’t tell me we not supposed to be together, fuck outta here. lil, lil the fucking singer. bro we met in 6th grade and literally fought to fucking learn. niggas would pick on niggas to get clout, cmon now. that’s where 6ix9ine getting that shit from. you transferred them we reunited in pypm. destiny. mal, my right hand man. we met over a rap cypher, bonded over a bag of reggie and 4 dutches. been tight ever since. like my blood little brother, been a sturdy soldier in this war my nigga. i owe you my life bro you helped me kick my xan addiction in 11th grade and kept me from jumping in the river. i can’t repay that with nothing less than my life, bro. word. ziz, zizerino.. my guy, always got my back. you put me on to a lot of this higher mind shit and we bonded on the grounds that we both rep new york on a daily, b. you really are somebody i value heavily bro and you contribute to my creativity so much, man. you really are like capital steez to my jakk the rhymer. from mercury to saturn my nigga, one love. savage, my little trini flower. you really my bitch fr. the illest little sister, a fucking hustler. you get it by any means. i admire ya grind, ya ambition, ya mindset, ya strength alladat bro. i say all the time “i’ma raise my daughter to be as sturdy as my lil sis, savage.” you kna’mean? seeing you keep your head high through all your adversities inspired me and it’s the reason why i maintain that message to y’all when need be. i love you man, no bullshit if anything ever happened to me you raising my daughter. periodt. wanny, my big brova. the other half of this gnarly shit, man. bidness partner. hustlin’ ass nigga we do whatever for da dollar, kna’mean? you hold it down always, bro. no bullshit i remember how ya mental was when big bro when uptop last winter. i see you kept that mentality in ya music and you eating these beats, b. i already know. you got me started wit this rap shit, seamaac generals b. held it down from the graffiti room to nate’s chair, knom’sayin? peace, gawd. one. josh, mi dawg dem from di yaad. badmon, mi luv yuh daag. mi ah burn ah spliff fi yuh link up wid jah. the only sagittarius i fuck wit. i know we be bidding on you heavy bro, but you know it’s all outta love and we don hold you down regardless. peace my nigga. mike white, the whitest of all mikes. whitethan. the list goes on. philly g herbo ass nigga. i love you my nigga, i look up to you so much as a man, as a hustler. you don’t take bullshit and you get ya own bread ya own way, you don’t service the man. i heavily respect that my nigga. you guided through a lot of shit and helped me open up about a lot of shit i was suppressing. we still need to do this song, nigga. rome, my fucking dawg. the only zoe in the family. the loyalist street nigga i have ever come across. never fold, never told. you got a good heart my nigga, no bullshit. we still gotta go to new york too, man. just be around the neighborhood. to all the new bastards, y’all are definitely loved and appreciated through the interactions we have individuals and the bonds we share whether it be though art, marijuana, anime, music, a love for history or just a good vibe. y’all are definitely considered family to me as well. this was dedicated to all my ghetto man and lady friends.. those in the hood that ain’t doing what they should. love from the cosmos, sincere the magnificent.

peace 🕉.

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sanfranciscoyoginigypsy · 7 years

Text

august 23 2017 age 19

and i yelled out isn't it so beautiful!! and we talked and he asked for my number. i love myself i love my energy i love my life. and on the path to totality i brought up to jacob how theres a small line where its most visible for a longer duration and we headed that way instead, it was perfect. the whole thing was perfect, barely any traffic and we were in the middle of nowhere. so there was a parking. we parked in a power plant parking lot and slept in the car. when i woke up, jacob played the beatles for me, it was nice to hear a day in the life, and magical musketry tour as soon as i woke up.. so amazing. and for the solar ecplise i meditated and did yoga. i felt the earths strong energy.. it was very intense.. with the alignment of the sun and the moon had a great affect on earth, earth;’s energy i felt was bursting- and i was there to feel it all in, to welcome it to my body, and show my gratitude. i screamedwhen the solar ecplise was complete. it looked so unreal! so scary!!! i was surprised! didn't know what a solar eclipse looked like! didnt know what to expect! i didnt look tip pictures the day before! paulo and briksha got me in the mood for loving the earth and myself and yoga by sending group texts about spiritual practices to experience during the solar ecplise. when it was going away, i listened to a recording and aligned my chakras, which was very intense. and i did my favorite yoga move, which is just my crown chakra touching the ground in downward facing dog, and i felt like the earth was feeding me wisdom, and its golden light energy. i sid this for a long time. iw as very grateful for the experience. i learned a lot that day. i was presented with a lesson on being confidence in myself and accepting myself. when aligning my chakras, i felt some heavy emotion on working on my yellow chakra (solar plexus) and crown. actually it was just empashis, something to work on. this week is solar plex chakra, self confidence.. and during eclipse it was crown chakra. where earths golden light was inviting and accepting me and feeding me light. and this week is solar plexus! bc I've lacked in confidence in most things I've been doing, feeling unworthy of challenges and experiences, like today!!!!!!! TODAY!!! so yesteryda i was very stressed about today, i didnt want to miss psychology bc i needed to get the add code to get into the class, but the modeling gig was at 10, and the class at 9:10, and i was stressed all day especially ll night about modeling, i almost didnt go today!! Ive just felt a lack in confidence. thinking about my acne, and how prettier the other girls would be. and yesterday i naired my whole face. i also was trying to sleep early but that didnt work.. i was just very stressed about everything man! but yesertda was so good too, good balance. i got free burritos, free book loans, and applied for a (2) $100 clipper card at the school!! and food stamps!! resources and opportunities are everywhere!! but yesterday i planned this whole day for me and almost woke up and didnt do it.. i woke up at 5 am bc i wanted to shower then do yoga after, bc yoga is so powerful when I'm pure and cleansed and healed from the water, water is so healing. i am grat4eful for the disagreements in my head. for the clash, for committing, and believing in myself and in the universe. i took a shower when i was so close to skipping out on it and yoga, but i FUCKING DID IT. I COMMITED> ad theshwoer was so good! and i was conflicted with shaving bx well you know me and shaving but i said FUCK IT and shaved! the email said to wear high wasied things and the only high waisted i had was shorts. oh and hannah sent me this modeling thing a few weeks ago! but yoga was so gooooooood paulo is a miracle worker i love him. i didnt want to get up, neither of us did, i told him he was the best and he said no you're the best,t. paulo is so great. such a great teacher. then i got ready right after fire and was running late! ibroguht so much shit bc i didnt know what to bring i just brought a lot of vintage tees. i was running late for psychology too but i went still and when i got there it was PERFECT. i emailed the teacher i couldn't stay the whole class and was hoping it wouldn't be a problem and she never replied so i was def taking a chance but when i got there she was doing role call!!! and i was on th waitlist! then after i went up to her and tried to explain myself but she mentioned how she already read my email and to stay as long as i cana or come back, but after i sat down she called names to give add codes too and i was one of them!! and she said huh you dont have to email me after all!! so perfect!! i was there for like 5 minutes! sp perfect. i left and went to the women locker room and changed and put on make up, i wa slacking some confidence bc of the emphasis i put towards my acne, but i got an uber and went! i was late for that too, but i did it and went! i had coffee and the uber driver braked really hard and i spilled it on my jeans.. i laughed at first and thought about la la land and how she had an interview in the clothes she was wearing when someone spilled coffee on her.. so cute.. and resonating. but i was getting a little frustrated bc i literally have to wear those to a shoot. when i got to the shoot i felt so much better! everyone was so nice and the girls looked normal! i felt like i fit in. I'm not sure how i look in the photos, but i felt a lil awkward bc i didnt know how to pose! but it was so fun!! all the girls were cute and nice!!! and it was so up my alley! so 70s! everything was vintage 60s and 70s and i had a lot of fun! i ended up befriending a girl i had to do patty cake with and we are going to skate in the near future! she showed up in her long board! it was so fun and we got to go on the website and choose a piece of clothing we wanted ! bc we didnt get paid! but when i told elena that she said i was such a beautiful model that i need to get paid more for that.. so sweet of her.. and when i saw her in the room she said its so nice to be in my presence.. my energy.. and called me beautiful and kept taking pics of me.. so nice of her!! then yesterday i asked ashlan if beloved was hiring and yesterday he called me and said they were going to hire me within this week! i literally had to do nothing and i got a fucking job! the owner called me and everything !! and we had an interview where i wore my new dress from CAMP that i modeled for and it was amazing. i cant wait to work at beloved. i told her i and eifently feel some growth from it, and how my yoga path is focused on diet right now. and she mentioned how she's super into yoga and stayed at a few ashrams and really emphasized diet and being a yogi. love love theexperiecne !! and now I'm here.. contemplating on getting a degree in something fuN.. bc iu only get one life.. might as well study something fun.. like music.. bc i can always teach with a teaching certificate and get a bachelors in anything.. I've been thinking about music business.,. id love to be around music always!! god life is so good and full of opportunity.. i am so happy.. and tonight i get to share all this! but not the whole thing.take chances, take a risk.. do it all. believe in yourself. you are worthy. you are beautiful.. and now I'm going to fire ceremony in my fucking ashram. how sick is my fucking life dawg. how fucking sick. and I'm going to help jesse paint tomorrow in exchange for an africna drum lesson. boom boom my life kicks so much ass!! damn damn damn!!! DAMN MAMA DAMNNANANANNANA. and going my online english mandatory meeting class made me realize how a challenge is always a best reward,,, I'm not excited bc its online and i won't get an experience from it.. so I'm going to take sippers class,.. or atleast try .. bc everything i was tressed about is working out.. all the classes i was waitlisted on I'm getting into.. and if i take a risk, theres always a learning epcerice to it. i should take it into account with beloved.. just do it.. just take the risk. it was prenseted to me by the universe.. why not.. literally handed to me.. i didnt have to do anything.. and I'm already doubting it and myself,, thinking i cant handle it.. but shut up !! take a risk!! do it!! if i dont like it its not permanent!! ideas for carriers./ majors: music business, therapy (sound therapy- music being healing for me, yoga instructor, model LIFE is limitless!! i can major in anything then get a teaching certificate after a bachelors and teach!! but I'm going to calle lemtnaryhschools tomorrow to see if i can meet iwht teachers and hear what they have to say about their career and system.. and to see if i can get some work down with children to understand the job more(: LFIE IS GREAT AH

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