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theweasleysredhair · 4 years

Text

Wait For It [F.W.]

Character: Fred Weasley

Word Count: 3488

Requested?: Yes/No

Summary: ‘Death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes. And we keep living anyway. We rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes.’ [Based on ‘Wait For It’ from the musical Hamilton].

WARNING: major character death, other character deaths

Tags: @gracemayhateyou @criminalyetminimal @angelinathebook @iprobablyshipit91 @potterverseimagine @slytherineheir @kpopgirlbtssvt @rexorangecouny @mytreec @hemmoporro @thisismysketchbook @acciotwinz @shadowsinger11 @aaannabbanana @lestersglitterglue @anyasthoughts @lxncelot @harrypotter289 @starlightweasley @slytherinsunrise @valwritesx @hufflrpuffforfred @cappsikle @kiwi-sloan @potter-redheads @pigwidgexn @twinkyjohnson @sarcasticallywitty15 @tyyyweasley @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @wonderful-writer @marauders-loving-queen @vogueweasley @marvelettesassemble @thisismynerdyself @gcdric @loony-loopy-lupinn @tinylumpiaa @locke-writes @pussytalenteditdocartwheels @ickle-ronniekins @sehunasbitch @cryingforcrystalpepsi @kashishwrites @girl-next-door-writes @susceptible-but-siriusexual @crissdanvers @whiz-bangs78 @heart-of-tempered-steel @oh-for-merlins-sake @heavenlymidnight @aylinw3asley @vivianweasley | message or send an ask to be added/removed!

Disclaimer: Gif isn't mine, credit to whoever made it

A/n: got a bit carried away with the angst... prepare your hearts guys - i cried a lot and i’m the one who wrote it. anyways lil shoutout to haley @wand3ringr0s3 bc she let me talk out this fic idea and also she’s the queen of angst fics. anyways enjoy x

~*~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY WORK! REBLOGS ARE ABSOLUTELY FINE! <3

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Love;-

His ginger hair was illuminated by the light from the fire, his brown eyes sparkling with mischief and lips curled up into a cheeky smile - one you adored on him, one that made your heart race.

He sat beside Lee, retelling the story of one of his more outrageous pranks, waving his hands in enthusiasm as you smiled at him. You weren’t quite listening, too caught up in his voice and how passionate he was, your heart beating fast as you pulled a knee up to rest your chin on as you watched him.

The conversation moved on quickly from there, but you couldn’t bring yourself to remove your gaze from the eldest twin, moving to lean on George’s arm as you listened, but making no move to join in with them.

“I can’t wait to ask her.”

The words piqued your interest, and you almost jolted from your seat as you heard him say those words, feeling like your heart was in your throat.

Who was he talking about?

“She’s... she’s amazing. She’s smart, she’s funny. She’s fit. If she says yes to me, I’ve hit the jackpot I reckon,” Fred grinned, leaning back into the sofa. His eyes flickered over to you for just a moment and you smiled back at him absent-mindedly.

You couldn’t help it. You loved him.

Lee nudged Fred, wiggling his eyebrows at him, “When are you gonna ask her to the ball?”

Fred cleared his throat and sat up straighter, and you caught his gaze, a small - very hopeful - part of you praying he was going to ask you, and ask you at that moment.

When his gaze moved swiftly onto George, you finally looked away, staring at the fire. And though you knew, deep down, that he wasn’t talking about you, you hoped.

“Tomorrow.”

You’d wait and hope with all your heart he’d pick you.

***

You’d felt nervous all day, a ball of negative energy curling in your stomach as you wandered through your lessons aimlessly, heart clenching every time you saw Fred speaking to a girl, hoping he wasn’t asking her, yet knowing he might be.

You thought studying in the hall was going to be an easy hour, sitting by your close friends, including Angelina and Alicia, the twins and Lee sitting a little further up the benches, near Harry and Ron.

There was some mumbling, and then you heard Ron hiss, “Who’re you going with then?”

You slowly looked up, so as to not draw attention to yourself or show yourself as interested, however as you glanced over at the boys, you noticed Fred staring.

And for a moment, a small gap in time, your heart leapt as you thought he was looking at you. His brown eyes caught yours and he winked, and you felt your throat closing up, thought maybe there was a possibility of him asking you.

He threw the scrunched up ball of paper in your direction, and you held your breath, a smile curling onto your lips as the paper flew towards you. You practiced how you’d say yes to him in your head, imagined what you’d wear, how you’d do your makeup. What colour his tie would be - the same colour as your dress, you’d hope.

And then the paper sailed past your eyeline, hitting Angelina on her shoulder. Your heart sank, blood rushing through your ears as you watched Fred ask her to the ball, felt the pain in your chest growing as watched her nod.

It was one thing knowing he didn’t feel the same about you as you did about him, another to know he felt that way for someone else. More specifically, one of your closest friends.

You ripped your gaze away from them and stared down at the paper in front of you, quill nearly breaking from the force you were applying to it, throat closing up as you blinked away your tears, not wanting anyone to see.

The study time felt like it lasted hours, your hands shaking as you packed your things up and headed straight for your common room, burying yourself under the blankets on your bed and screaming into your pillow.

You were sure you were in love with Fred Weasley, as certain as you were that the sky was blue and grass was green. Your happiness grew when you heard him laugh, heart pounding whenever he was near.

He loved Angelina though.

Tears soaked your pillow as you tried to put your heart back together somehow. Tried to be okay with it.

But how were you supposed to get over a boy you were never with? How were you supposed to fall out of love with someone that didn’t love you?

Your chest ached, eyes sore from wiping away tears, yet they still fell.

And so you sat, crying over a love you never had. And most likely never would.

Death;-

“How’re you feeling?” Fred asked as he joined you in a secluded area of the castle. The battle preparations were ongoing, with everyone quickly projecting all the protective spells they knew on any part of the school they could.

You looked out and could see a swarm of black figures heading towards you in the distance, making everything seem that much more real, that much more scary.

“Scared,” you admitted glancing up at the redhead, who nodded.

“Me too,” he confirmed. He opened his arms and pulled you into his chest, into a warm hug. You closed your eyes, breathing in his scent as your arms wrapped tightly around him.

You both stood there for just a while, his hands rubbing your back reassuringly, and you decided, in that moment, you needed to tell him.

You needed to tell him you loved him.

Needed him to know, before you both set off fighting. Needed to know if there was chance for you both - if this was another reason to fight.

“I need to tell you something, before it all starts,” your voice was quiet, but you knew Fred heard as he pulled away to look at you, his hands still holding your waist as he focused on you.

“What is it?”

“I-“ you hesitated for a moment, swallowing nervously as your gaze dropped to the floor. Fred lifted your head up gently with his thumb, a touch that set your skin alight, one that sent shivers down your spin.

“What’s wrong?” He asked softly, in contrast to his usual booming voice, a concerned look set on his features as he looked down at you, his brown eyes showcasing his worry.

“Please don’t hate me,” you replied, just as soft. You squeezed your eyes tightly, feeling him grab one of your hands in his as the hand on your chin moved to cup your cheek.

“Darling, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?”

You bit your lip, reopening your eyes and catching his gaze, your heart pounding as you tried to think of the words you wanted to say, “I don’t want to go into this battle without you knowing, so I- I guess what I’m trying to say is... well, I’m in love with you.”

Silence is odd, having the ability to be both comfortable and tension-filled depending on the company and context. Usually, silence around Fred was comforting, knowing he was there without either of you having to say a word. But this silence, the silence that hung over you, made your heart leap to your throat, and you swallowed harshly, wincing at the wide-eyed look he was giving you at this revelation.

His hand dropped from your cheek and he stepped away just a little, just enough that you swore he probably could’ve heard your heart crack, before he finally spoke, his voice a shaky whisper, as if he didn’t know what to say, how to reply.

“Y/n, darling, I love you...”

You felt your eyes widening a little, heart beating fast now due to his response. You didn’t think you’d ever hear him say those three little words, ones that held so much meaning. The beginnings of the battle around you faded, and you could only think about how you loved Fred, and Fred loved you. Everything was going to be okay - you had each other.

Just as you were going to step forward, a watery laugh nearly escaping your lips, you realised he was still finishing his sentence, that he hadn’t finished answering you.

“... but only as a friend.”

His voice was gentle, but his words cut like glass, sharp pieces hitting your chest and ripping your skin, the words reverberating in your head. And suddenly warm tears were falling down your cheeks - you’d let yourself get your hopes up, let yourself imagine a life where you loved Fred and he loved you. When in reality, he didn’t love you.

He wasn’t in love with you.

You took a shaky breath, nodding at him as you pressed your lips together, wrapping your arms around yourself as you stepped back away from him.

“I know,” you whispered, looking away from his gaze, feeling embarrassed, above anything else, trying to force a smile onto your face, “I-I know... I just- I needed to tell you.”

You swallowed, shaking your head. You felt stupid. He’d never shown he was interested, you didn’t know why you’d ever thought there was a chance.

He ran a hand through his messy hair, before reaching out towards you, a look of sympathetic despair crossing his features as he tried to bring you closer to him.

As his fingers brushed yours and you pulled away as though he burnt you, he felt his heart clench, taking a shaky breath as he watched one of his closest friends pull away from him, tears lining his vision as you moved further away from him, his hand hovering mid-air as though he still wanted - needed - you to be near him.

“Love, please. I-I can’t lose you. Please, let’s just- Let’s talk about this. After all this- please. Don’t walk away, I-I need you Y/n. I’m sorry I don’t lov- but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I care about you so so much,” his lips were trembling, tears falling freely as he reached out again, a sob escaping his lips as you hesitated, allowing him to take his hand in yours for just a moment.

“It’s okay, Freddie,” you whispered, though he and you both knew it wasn’t okay, and possibly wouldn’t ever go back to the way things were before you told him you loved him, “I just- I need to be alone.”

“We’re going into battle, I need you to know that I-“

“I’m sorry,” you shook your head, “I can’t do this.”

Fred tried desperately to get you to stay. He didn’t want to watch you leave, to watch you walk away from him. Not like this, not when you were both about to risk your lives fighting in a dangerous battle, where one wrong move could cost you your life.

“But I-“

“I need to go,” You pulled your hand from his and turned on your heel, wiping your tears away quickly as you ran off.

Fred’s mouth opened, as if he wanted to say something, as if he wanted to call after you, before closing it again and shaking his head sadly, wiping a last lone tear that fell down his cheek before shoving his hands into his pockets.

He’d find you after the battle and speak to you, he decided.

He couldn’t lose you. Not like this.

***

You were tired. The battle wore on around you as you stumbled through the fallen pieces of the building around you, overwhelmed at the fighting and overcome with the realisation that you were basically a bunch of kids trying to fight in a war you tried to prevent.

You hadn’t seen anyone for a while, being towards the back of the school, only fighting the occasional death eater who wandered close to you. You were hiding out after a particularly nasty hex left a gash down your arm, trying your best to bandage it up as best you could.

You hoped everyone was okay, had already passed by Colin Creevey lying on the floor as you found somewhere to hide. You’d almost stopped for a moment, hoping he was just unconscious, however the angle he was lay at told you otherwise, and you forced yourself to move on before anyone came back.

Still reeling with emotion from your talk before the battle, you’d shot spells carelessly at death eaters, hoping it was enough to keep them away. To keep you alive.

You turned the corner, wand raised, your eyes scanning the scene as you tried to find somebody - anybody.

And that’s when you saw it.

A flash of light, and you felt yourself running towards it, stumbling over the rubble, dodging spells in desperation. It hit the wall, the ginger boy stood underneath unaware.

You screamed out his name, the sound somehow cutting through the spells and fighting, your lungs burning as you willed yourself to run faster.

It played out in your mind in slow motion, the light, the stone crumbling, falling.

Fred turned at the sound of your voice, a smile etched on his face from something Percy had said, but just before you could push him out of the way, the wall fell.

You halted, barely metres away, nearly losing your footing as you choked out a sob, tears streaming as you stared at Percy, who had the same stricken look on his face.

Neither of you spared a glance around you before rushing towards where the eldest twin once stood, desperate to find him, to make sure he was okay.

Removing the pieces of rubble with a desperation you didn’t know you could feel, until you found a tuft of ginger hair sticking out between two broken bricks. Your heart clenched, stuck in your throat as you revealed his face, his last smile etched onto his features.

You didn’t hear the scream that left your mouth, didn’t feel Percy gently moving you so he could remove the stones from on top of the rest of Fred’s body.

Your eyes wandered across his face, his freckled skin, the slope of his nose and down to his chapped lips. Tears fell onto his face as your hands rested on his shoulders, gripping onto the fabric of his sweater, sobs racking through your body as you ignored the battle going on around you.

“Wake up, Freddie, please wake up!”

Your pleas went unanswered, the ginger boy laying before you still, his face unwavering.

“No, please!” You sobbed. You didn’t notice Percy’s hand on your shoulder, or his heartbroken mentions to move his little brother away from the fighting - to move you away from the fighting.

You clung to Fred, not wanting to let him go, not being able to, “You gotta wake up, Fred. This isn’t funny, this isn’t a good prank. Please wake up. Please just-“

You ran a hand through his hair and wiped your tears off his cheek, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for walking away. Please. We need you. George needs you. I need you. Please.”

Your voice cracked as you spoke to him, white noise filling your ears as all you could focus on was the sight of the boy laying before you, cuts across the side of his head, his brown eyes once shining, now dull. You grabbed his hand, holding it in yours, refusing to let go.

You weren’t sure when Fred’s body was taken from you, when he was moved into the Great Hall, too shaken up to think of anything but the thought of the wall falling over and over again, playing out in your mind like a cruel nightmare, each time you were too late, barely metres too late, seconds too late to stop it.

You sobbed into George’s shoulder, his head resting on yours as you both cried.

Before anything, Fred was one of your closest friends. One of your best friends. And now you’d never get to see him smile again, never hear his laugh or get to play silly pranks with him.

You’d never hug him again, never hear his flirty comebacks and witty jokes.

And as you felt George’s clutch tighten on you, both as broken as the other at losing the person you loved the most, a grief-stricken sob escaped your lips, causing George to pull away a little to see if you were okay, his eyes bloodshot, tears streaming down his face, still so caring after losing his other half, your bottom lip trembled as you thought back over everything.

You had walked away from him. Your last words bouncing around your head - I need to go. In your haste, you never said goodbye to the boy you loved. And now you never could, would never get the chance.

George squeezed his eyes tight as he brought you closer to his chest, you grabbing a handful of his t shirt in your fist as tears streamed down both your faces. You mumbled something inaudible into his chest and he moved to hear you better. The same words fell out of your mouth over and over, between broken sobs and falling tears,

“I’m sorry, I was too late.”

Life;-

The first few months after the battle were difficult. You saw him in everything - in every bit of laughter, every bright colour, every joke.

You saw him in George, who’d tried his hardest to forget. He’d smashed all his mirrors, tried to dye his hair, before you found him, collapsed in a ball of sobs in the middle of his flat, whispering, “Please, bring him back.”

After living his entire life with Fred in it, he didn’t know how to live without him.

You relied on each other to get you through, taking it day by day, trying to mend your hearts, broken in different, yet very similar ways.

The nightmares were the worst.

Waking up in cold sweats, seeing the wall collapse in front of you, knowing you were too late and didn’t get to say goodbye to the boy you loved. Knowing if you were just a few seconds earlier, George would still have his twin brother by his side, laughing and making jokes like usual.

“The worst part isn’t remembering. It’s easy to remember. The worst part, the hardest part, is those times I forget to remember. I forget that he’s not here, that he’s gone. And then I remember and I feel so guilty,” you’d told George, half a year after the battle. It was nearing Christmas, a time you both used to love, yet now you were apprehensive, didn’t know how to do Christmas without Fred.

George had replied sweetly, wrapping his arms around you and hugging you. And whilst it didn’t feel the same as the way Fred had hugged you before the battle, the feeling was comforting, warm and familiar, “He knew you loved him. You cared for him, watched over him to make sure he didn’t do anything too stupid. And now he gets to return the favour and watch over you.”

“He’s really gone isn’t he. He’s just... gone.”

The night you’d gone through his things with George was difficult. It was sad, sometimes overwhelming, but you also got to sit and just remember, reminding yourselves who Fred was.

With every Weasley product you found, with every photograph you came across, every sweater, broken quill and long-forgotten sketch, your sad tears began to turn into happy ones, laughing with George about your times in Hogwarts, about better days gone by.

It was funny, that even though he was gone, he could still bring smiles to your faces.

Maybe that’s why he was so special, why it hurt so much to lose him. He made the people around him happy, through everything.

You visited him often, needing to apologise, to properly say goodbye. Or just to feel like you were close to him again. To thank him for all he’d done, for allowing you to love him how you did. For being such an important person in so many people’s lives.

Wiping a tear that fell down your cheek, your hand reached out to hold onto the gravestone before you for balance, smiling through your tears as your fingers ran across his name, engraved on the stone.

‘Fred Weasley

1st April 1978 - 2nd May 1998’

You kneeled down, placing a single flower across the grass in front of the stone. It’d been years since you’d lost Fred and somehow the pain got worse every day.

But you knew, with time, things would get better. You’d find your happiness, and learn to move on.

All you had to do was wait for it.

#fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley imagines

340 notes · View notes

arthurtristankingsmen · 3 years

Text

More and longer theory chatter with @flash-the-geist with guest stars who popped in. This one is longer since it’s theorizing but turned into something Flash affectionately named the ‘Esprestissimo AU’ which I am keeping because I love it so much.

Most of this mainly features Duet thoughts and then shenanigans ! The most I did was add a missing thing in my own comments for clarification or that my brain skipped over when typing it before, or where I adjust the order of the messages for cohesiveness

please enjoy jdjd

flaaaash — Today at 4:35 AM

hmmm what if the note-taker is Duet, taking notes about "Solo"? that implies they're two different people

Arthur — Today at 4:36 AM

that's what i was thinking-- that the ‘He’ in the note is reverb, and this note is in reference to reverb, but also a comment on Solo, and the Duet 'wrote' this character profile as like-- a case file if they're in charge of the organization

so duet is like 'solo' claims she still needs to study him for research in a note on the file he's taking on reverb or something like that

flaaaash — Today at 4:37 AM

this might be my deep, unfortunate familiarity with bureaucracy talking, but- if the person in charge is also the one taking notes, it's a very small organization

Arthur — Today at 4:37 AM

oh yeah

i imagined it was tiny personally

tempo seems on the smaller side so if it's all based there, i was imagining it was relatively small

flaaaash — Today at 4:38 AM

not international then, perhaps

adkjfakjf oooh now I want to make a little card for Flash

Arthur — Today at 4:39 AM

yeah no-- at least since the name tempo of the town following the motif like seemingly implies it's based in/related to the town since if follows the reference style

or that's my thinking anyways?

flaaaash — Today at 4:39 AM

very true

imagine if Tempo is just Like That and the rest of the world is totally normal

Arthur — Today at 4:40 AM

i personally think vivi didn't grow up in tempo now more tho-- because i think if she did and there is an organization, they woulda gotten wind of her and she probably would've been recruited since she's smart and clearly into that kind of thing

and if she was in the org and knew what she was doing, i don't know if she would've gone to the cave if she was at all in the Know

flaaaash — Today at 4:40 AM

or they would have tried to study Mystery?

Arthur — Today at 4:41 AM

that too!!

even if they brought her in just because of mystery i imagine they would've brought her in

flaaaash — Today at 4:41 AM

maybe that's what the "her research into "REDACTED" is referring to. Research into mystery?

it all does seem to come back to him

Arthur — Today at 4:42 AM

or maybe she's relatively new to tempo still, and duet gave her a job because they intended to bring her in at some point but hadn't yet

like there were steps to take and like-- the cave happened before things could get fully underway

i mean at my job i applied in like-- march, and i didn't get an interview until may, and then i didn't get any training until november, and then i didn't get brought in to learn the job until december. so it'd be easy to imagine that if there was a reason, bringing her in could be a slow process

flaaaash — Today at 4:43 AM

that might also explain why there were all these "go back" signs in the cave

clearly someone with English language skills put the signage there

Arthur — Today at 4:43 AM

that too! it definitely felt like it was to warn off people and keep them from tresspassing

but the gang were kids and also ghost don't haunt the places that aren't super scary and dangerous! so of course they gotta go in!

flaaaash — Today at 4:45 AM

maybe they weren't expecting someone like Vivi at all

she was a wild card that popped up and threw a spanner in the works accidentally

Arthur — Today at 4:45 AM

yeah!

i can imagine her just coming in and completely bamboozling everyone

duet is like 'okay we'll get her in on this but we'll take some time to sort everything and judge where she's at skill wise since we have time and it's not like she can get into any danger with all our protective me--oh no'

flaaaash — Today at 4:48 AM

that calls Duet's motivation into question a lil bc - there's at least a significant amount of time between Lewis dying and them finding him again

since their search is reasonably extensive and Arthur's had time to heal up. So why didn't Duet do anything during this time?

Arthur — Today at 4:50 AM

hmmmm--- well we know it's been less than a year since the cave happened at least, and i think the way Ben talked about it sounded like it was a relatively short time table of only a few months, so maybe they wanted to give them recovery time or they weren't sure how to broach it-- i'm not sure. maybe the comic will give some kind of insight hopefully if the case is that vivi came in like that

i feel like it'd be interesting and make more sense given what she has available magic wise and mystery-wise if she wasn't in town until much later in life to explain why she wouldn’t already be working with the organization. but i'm still like hmm

because you do have a point that there would be a fair bit of inaction, unless for some reason vivi's memory issues or something was a problem or something happens in the prequel to explain or hint

tho now that brings into question if duet knows Lewis is dead, how are things not being managed better

i mean i've had arthur say in the past and i've said once or twice that like-- i think arthur was already working with prosthetics. so he could've had an arm mostly built and just had to make a more functioning one so that could've been fast. so hopefully maybe the prequel comic is set a bit before and might explain duet helping or something in a way that could make sense of it?

especially given he did make galaham's wheels already and such. he might've already built one but needed to make a new one set up for him

flaaaash — Today at 4:54 AM

I'm fairly sure people would at least know he's missing

I guess it's possible that the 'memory magic' thing that makes Vivi forget - it could affect everyone except Arthur and Mystery?

Arthur — Today at 4:56 AM

that's possible--

we have only seen mystery and arthur in the world seeming to know what's going on, so we don't know who knows what. just that vivi doesn't know lewis

but maybe nobody else does either to some degree

flaaaash — Today at 4:56 AM

Arthur being possessed at the time, and Mystery being a magical being himself. We don't have any evidence that anyone else remembers Lewis, although he seems to still be in pictures

Arthur — Today at 4:57 AM

people did seem confused arthur was freaking out in the store in the comic and like

idk. if i knew he lost his best friend i'd be more sympathetic/not look at him like he was crazy. I’d assume something set him off but probably feel bad for him if i knew what happened in the last year?

because i would imagine mental health is in the toilet after going on a trip and losing a friend even if he was only 'missing'

and the way arthur mentioned lewis and when vivi forgets he's just like 'nevermind'. if no one really remembers Lewis, then maybe giving up trying to explain is because he’s used to no one knowing who he means

flaaaash — Today at 4:58 AM

yea h

Arthur — Today at 4:58 AM

what if arthur only remembers lewis? (and mystery does)

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 4:58 AM

In fairness most people would be confused if they saw someone having a panic attack in public, no matter how much was known about the person

flaaaash — Today at 4:58 AM

also if Lewis looked like himself for a moment just before dropping Arthur - does that mean Lance saw him?

or did he only see skele-version and thus didn't recognize him as Lewis

Arthur — Today at 4:58 AM

hmmmmm--- i lean to skele vision. he turned back pretty quick iirc

flaaaash — Today at 4:59 AM

I'm torn between analysing between a storyteller perspective and an in-world perspective

Arthur — Today at 5:01 AM

por que no los dos?

also

hmmm-- i think given people were like 'what's up with that guy', it seemed either not knowing what was going on with him or what it could stem from, but if lewis disappeared in a small town i feel like a lot of the details would've spread. so they might assume it had to do with that instead-- so it feels like maybe most people don't know

which seems strange in a smaller community because stuff gets around

flaaaash — Today at 5:01 AM

especially since the Peppers own a restaurant

Arthur — Today at 5:01 AM

yeah-- in a small town place a restuarant is usually a social hub of sorts

so if lewis disppeared i'm sure people would talk given he was a waiter and thus kind of a face for the restaurant

flaaaash — Today at 5:02 AM

also if they think he's missing and not dead, his family would be looking for him too. which means missing persons pics and all that

Arthur — Today at 5:02 AM

yeah and we didn’t see any. and some people not knowing or visitors i could get, but everyone seemed surprised by arthur freaking out, and if they knew lewis was missing and lewis and arthur were friends, it feels odd to like-- none of them to even look sympathetic

i would imagine if they knew lewis was gone they'd assume arthur would be more emotionally reactive than usual-- unless they have no idea that something is going on with arthur because you know-- lewis is erased jdjd

i mean the reason we know vivi doesn't remember is because her eyes glowed as lewis got phased out of the photo

but who knows maybe him being phased out was in general and that just meant she was affected too. everyone gets amnesia

flaaaash — Today at 5:03 AM

also slightly cracky theory but - if they ended up accidentally in the research facility during Ghost, that would explain why Vivi found a fully-stocked fridge alkja;gl

Arthur — Today at 5:04 AM

DSJDDLJSDLFJDSJL

that would be hilarious

lewis is his own scp in his tantrum mansion

they just keep an eye on the lot

flaaaash — Today at 5:05 AM

well what else are they gonna do with him??? xD

Arthur — Today at 5:05 AM

dslsdjdsfljdsfd

''welp no one knows who this guy is soooooo manor in the middle of nowhere time'

flaaaash — Today at 5:06 AM

"so the waiter turned into a vengeful spirit?" "oh uhhhh ok put him in a box i guess until we figure something out?"

ok theory- Duet knows Lewis is dead, but is trying to figure out a way to help/break the memory magic on Vivi, and that's why he's in the mansion/cave for a while before Ghost?

Arthur — Today at 5:06 AM

i like it! i think them knowing and approaching arthur in the comic and using 'rancid vibes' as an excuse would make sense

flaaaash — Today at 5:07 AM

"so that Vivi person wandered in again somehow and now the vengeful waiter ghost is loose?" "for fuck's sake you had ONE JOB-"

Arthur — Today at 5:07 AM

they know what's actually going on but they kinda act like everyone else while also getting arthur something that might help him in that book that i think will be important in the plot of the prequel

DL;G;HDGSAL;HKGSDHL;DGS

flash you have the biggest brain

flaaaash — Today at 5:08 AM

,kadjgalgkj

"also there was this killer tree-" "I do not care about the tree, one problem at a time"

Poor Duet is having A Week

but the mental image of them trying to avoid Arthur and Vivi investigating, while trying to find ??? and re-capture him while shoving Lewis in a box is hilarious, and then they run into Shiromori and just throw their hands in the air like "can u not????". And then Murder Mystery shows up and they just quit

Arthur — Today at 5:10 AM

dlaajldkljjdl;dldjlfkfd

duet is just like

on their tenth cup of coffee

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:10 AM

Arthur: Those are rookie numbers

Arthur — Today at 5:11 AM

they see murder mystery and go back inside the shop like 'can you add like 5 espresso shots to this'

flaaaash — Today at 5:11 AM

explains why they're like "Arthur pls your vibes. Do you KNOW what I've been dealing with"

Arthur — Today at 5:11 AM

asdl;;dfslhsdahg;as;dghkghsdllhsgd

flaaaash — Today at 5:11 AM

"five extra shots and a red bull chaser please-"

Arthur — Today at 5:12 AM

(also just still crosses my fingers for medium/spiritually-sensitive!arthur to be canon but if not it will live on in my fannon)

dsldjllssfdf

they just start shoving coffee grounds directly into their mouth

flaaaash — Today at 5:12 AM

this series has a lot of antagonists

akjdalgj just crunching beans down whole

Arthur — Today at 5:13 AM

i need-- to draw duet

looking tired with a coffee

flaaaash — Today at 5:14 AM

Duet with a giant cup of coffee, staring at Murder Mystery with a deadpan stare and going "Absolutely not, I forbid it, there is not enough coffee in the WORLD."

Arthur — Today at 5:14 AM

flash and will if i share this chatter on tumblr would you be okay with it ? or would u rather i block out names if i do

i feel like some of this is hilarious and people need to experience it

flaaaash — Today at 5:14 AM

akdflaf no go for it

I will out myself as a sham of a storyboarder

Arthur — Today at 5:15 AM

duet is that gif of the ghost busters lady going 'mmm nope not today, room full of nightmares'

and turning and walking away

duet is doing their best and needs a nap

tired as Arthur

flaaaash — Today at 5:15 AM

Duet walking around the corner to see the gang facing down Murder Mystery: swivels on one foot and goes right back the way they came

Arthur — Today at 5:15 AM

ldjldljd EXACTLY

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:16 AM

Heheheheh

Arthur — Today at 5:16 AM

like look at this person

look at their eyebags

they are Tired

they have deal with this bullshittery

they have sass to provide

but they also are Tired and done with this shit

flaaaash — Today at 5:16 AM

I want Duet and Arthur playing a game of caffeine chicken

Marshy — Today at 5:16 AM

Huge massive sigh as they see the whole bullshit situation go down and turns around to go back to the bookshop

flaaaash — Today at 5:16 AM

just lined up at the cafe bar, espresso shots in rows down the counter as they lock eyes-

who shall win- the CAFFEINE-OFF?

Arthur — Today at 5:17 AM

flash

pls if you right that i will pay you money

or maybe art

Marshy — Today at 5:17 AM

It's me I'll win

flaaaash — Today at 5:17 AM

SLFKJLKGS

Arthur — Today at 5:17 AM

dlasd;sdgkd;djslj;dags

i'm rooting for you take those nerds OUT

flaaaash — Today at 5:18 AM

"Duet gives him a look of Supreme Weariness and Nopery. Arthur counters with a double eye-roll of Resignation and Angst. In the true synchronicity of the Absolutely Done, they each take an espresso shot and slam it down."

Arthur — Today at 5:20 AM

djdasd;ds;lsda;ldj;lkdsl;jkdsj;lkasljkdjlkdg

they clink the little cups together first before taking their respective shots

flaaaash — Today at 5:21 AM

they do the thing where they turn it upside down to prove it's empty

by the fifth they're trying to outcompete each other with anecdotes

by the tenth they've moved onto toasting each other

Arthur — Today at 5:21 AM

Bonding!

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:22 AM

The anecdotes get concerningly similar to each others

flaaaash — Today at 5:22 AM

by the twelfth, Arthur begins weeping. Duet pats him in solidarity and knocks the next shot clean off the counter due to caffeine-induced twitching

Arthur — Today at 5:22 AM

DSGLAHGLDGHDGHAAHDSGDG

EXCELLENT

want them to be friends now

flaaaash — Today at 5:23 AM

by the thirteenth, the barista stages an intervention and starts giving them decaf

by this point, they don't notice

Arthur — Today at 5:23 AM

asdlaadjsdsajd

thank you they owe you their life

they could taste the difference if they weren't vibrating into the 28the dimension atm

flaaaash — Today at 5:24 AM

after the fifteenth shot, the counter is clear and they're both full of sympathetic outrage for the other's plight. They sprint from the cafe, steamroll right over Shiromori, and punt the colours right out of Murder Mystery in a fit of industrial-strength caffeinated indignance.

Don't forget to take your meds ❤ — Today at 5:24 AM

Hahahaha

Arthur — Today at 5:25 AM

h;lsadlf;dsldj;fsljl;dfsajdfsa

flaaaash — Today at 5:25 AM

The newly Monochromatic Mystery has to then help Vivi contain the pair before they wipe all paranormal activity off the face of Tempo.

Arthur — Today at 5:25 AM

that's how the fifth video ends

flaaaash — Today at 5:25 AM

Lewis narrowly escapes by hiding in a box. THE END

Arthur — Today at 5:25 AM

dsal;gsdhldgsa;dgsdgs;hldgs;lhdsa

beautiful thank u flash

i owe you my life

flaaaash — Today at 5:25 AM

you're welcome it's my magnum opus

Arthur — Today at 5:26 AM

A+ story telling

i'm including it in the post

flaaaash — Today at 5:26 AM

ALKJGAGK

it's okay I don't have a reputation to ruin xD

Arthur — Today at 5:26 AM

dlasdl;dhsgldgdgs

this is a callout for flash being the funniest person alive--

or undead

flaaaash — Today at 5:27 AM

dead-

sfkjga

Arthur — Today at 5:27 AM

djdjdjdj

i thought about it and corrected myself xDD

flaaaash — Today at 5:30 AM

ok I have no idea if anyone will get this pun, but I dub this the Esprestissimo AU

Arthur — Today at 5:36 AM

djalsd;ldsjdsjldf

i LOVE THAT

music puns but espressos EXTRA ESPRESSOLY

flaaaash — Today at 5:49 AM

#headcanon #msa headcanon discussion #tristan rambles #flashthegeist #IT WAS SO MUCH FUN #duet #arthur #vivi #long post #mystery skulls animated #mystery skulls #my original stuff

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

Text

also i’ve been mulling over the “we’re Living ex machina!!!!” line and like, it still doesn’t make sense Really, but here’s my Afternoon Musings i guess

i’ve only actually seen ex machina once like 3 years ago but as i remember it goes a little something like This: some rando white-collar programmer guy has like, won a contest where the prize is to go hang out for maybe a few days or a week or so with this ~visionary genius~ tech dude played by oscar isaac at oscar isaac tech dude’s off-the-grid reclusive mansion or whatever.......i thiiiink the Protag Programmer won b/c his programming submission was Really Good but also maybe there’s a [randomly selected] element to it, or maybe we Think it was partly random selection but then learn it was actually All “yeah i chose you b/c your coding was the Best,” idk. doesn’t really matter but anyway yeah protag guy gets helicoptered in to the oscar isaac genius bro’s secret mansion

oscar isaac soon reveals he has this advanced ai android whomst he wants the Protagonist to study / turing test, and the protagonist does that, but during one Conversation Session with this android (who is named ava i think? and designed to Look Like a Woman oo) like the lights turn off and ava-i-think informs the protagonist she’s found a Weakness in the mansion’s security system and hackt it so that the power (and thus the Security / Monitoring Systems) shut down for a minute like this but could feasibly be thought of as a glitch and anyways she’s like yeah i have feelings and thoughts and i want to Not Be Trapped here, ya gotta help me out here buddy, and then yknow ooh the systems come back on, oscar isaac can Observe them again, intrigue.....tl;dr protag and ava keep having these short secret convos and Do plan to break her out, there’s this dramatic moment where oscar isaac (who’s natch been acting weirder and more erratic as the plot unfolds) confronts the protag after the protag has just like, tried to get him blackout smashed by Hanging Out With Him lmfao and oscar isaac is like “ooh i knew you were planning to break her out, i’m gonna stop you guys though haha pwned” but then oh further twist, turns out ava and protag Knew that was the case and were thinking one step ahead and idk but yeah they break her out and oscar isaac dies but ooh further twist!!! ava locks the protag (or well, just Does Not Unlock, As Planned) in some room and leaves the mansion and gets on the Helicopter meant to take the protag back to wherever after the planned end of his stay. and the protag is just stuck there b/c everyone else is dead and presumably he dies as ava gets to exist in the outside world now, idk, we don’t need ex machina 2 where he’s escaped or smthing lmao

and i do NOT get what winston is comparing their situation to lmfao. like, oh rian is like an advanced ai android??? if anything, her being the more like ~true believer in High Finance as a means of socially beneficial effect~ vs winston like, having the supposedly cutthroat and cold Math approach would make Him more of the ~oh no more a robot than a person~ (though i think it’s Ambiguous whether we wanna judge ava as more Scary Bad or Sympathetic).........you can’t even really make the connection that “oh no we’re being deliberately Replaced!!” b/c if winston is [protag programmer rando] and rian is [ava] and wendy is, i guess oscar isaac then, uhhhh oscar isaac most definitely did Not intend to ~replace~ the protag with ava, he very much wanted her trapped in his mansion still........and the protagonist Only got “replaced” by ava in the sense that she took his place on the helicopter out of the reclusive secret mansion. i really doubt she planned to, or would even be able to, like take over his identity/life beyond that.....certainly not his job lol like, coworkers are gonna notice you’re a different person, there was no implication the androids can like oh shapeshift their appearance or whatever, and no implications about what ava even intended to do in the Outside World which is kind of bemusing b/c like, what of the Practical Questions of being an android and needing whatever Fuel Source a robot does, idk that might’ve been addressed or smthing like “oh yeah they can just Eat,” also she clearly does not Trust People considering her only company was evil oscar isaac creator and she wasn’t interested in bringing the protag along, plus yknow the fact that she Did deliberately manipulate the protag into thinking that she wanted to escape into the world With him........but not like i guess she has any choice for any other world to escape into but the one with all the people where she pretends to be an organic human

like there is just NO point of comparison where these situations line up unless you get soooooooo like broad strokes about ex machina that you’d do better to compare your experience to Anything else lmao. like, does winston think she’s some like, ideal advanced version of him?? like you might consider a crafted AI android to be?? i don’t know but i mean i think we have a more feasible explanation for why he’s so Insistent about this totally being Ex Machina, if only b/c as a straightforward comparison i swear to god it doesn’t work lmfao None of these points line up at all with any significance that’s worth insisting on

given that winston’s Apparently Canonically meant to be crushing on rian, and we have his example of ribbing her by calling her “gal gadot’s quirky sister” which is like, okay so the dunk is “you look similar to this famous a-lister who everyone thinks is pretty” and “also you’re quirky, boom” like, i think that could easily be meant as like, a Tell that winston already ~likes~ her.............aaaand it’s also somewhat ~ambiguous~ but i mean i think it’s safe to say that in Ex Machina you may understand the protag as having Fallen For the ai android lady. so maybe we can Understand this invocation of ex machina as being like “ooh person meant to replace me is Attractive but ultimately i think this Overall Situation is a bad thing i shouldn’t feel this way i resent it” like, a bit of a Reach, but honestly it’s way more of a reach to think about applying anything else about this scenario to ex machina, so i could v much believe that the thought that went behind writing this is once again, like, “okay winston’s invoking one thing on the surface level here, but simultaneously he’s already (inadvertently probably) acknowledging like oh also i have a crush on her already”

between this episode seeming to be Setup and the [winston has a Canon crush] and the fact that it probably seems like They Will Fuck A Nonzero Number Of Times or Make Out At Least But It’s Billions So, Might Get A Humorous Cut To [Postcoital] Or A Scene Where They Arrive At Work Together Short Of Breath With Messy Hair And Hickies And Winston’s Got A Hoodie W/ “Property Of Rian” On It Until He Goes "Oh Shit Woops” And Hands It To Her And She’s Like “Oh Btw You Forgot Your Glasses.....Uh You Left Them Here On Your Desk Yesterday I Mean Of Course” And Hands Them To Him And An Unnamed Character Stands Up And Asks “Daily Poll: Who Had Sex With A Coworker Last Night” And Rian And Winston Raise Their Hands Before Going “Oh Wait” And Lowering Them With A Shake Of The Head And A Nervous Cough and i’m exaggerating but you know, the equivalent of the billions writing saying “wwinnnk” at us. i am fine with them having an unsolemn like, quasi-rivals-to-lovers (or -And-lovers) dynamic, even with it being a bit messy in like, still an overall Fun way, where yknow it doesn’t have to be peak epic romance cuz a) that’s just Always true and yet it can still be overall an okay thing even if they don’t quite get it together / mostly just trade sparks and sometimes hook up and b) idk seems like mayybe rian’s character isn’t meant to go beyond this season, so, an inherent limit there if true

i’m like Apologetic for being like “already i like their dynamic even as Romantique and it’s kinda cute and fun and i’m willing to continue to be engaged w/ this as long as the writing doesn’t completely fuck it up” lmao like, i guess i Did inadvertently give myself time to prepare for this exact eventuality b/c of wondering if this exact character would have A Thing w/ winston whenever she showed up and even if i was like “haha the character could show up Anywhere and do Anything and what are the odds, right” i was also like “hmm but i’m going to really think about it though” like, as always, didn’t think i was cassandraing that hard, but truly did do it 4x03 style where everyone else can be like “you never [made the text post or gave any indication you were thinking about “what if whoever she plays and winston have some kind of romance thing going on”]” and i can go “i only thought it but didn’t say it....doesn’t count” but well. i did think it lmao and why would i make it up.......sorry i had such a head start on Getting More Used To This Notion.......some crimes can never be forgiven.meme.......

anyways natch “intense horrible passionate” seems a little foreboding but maybe she was talking about it relative to [any Normal show] rather than the standards we’re used to on billions, where this was all but a Meet Cute, and a kind of quasi coworker rivalry where nobody’s taking it *that* deeply seriously and they also seem to mutually like each other by the end of 5x05 already so how not-amicable can it get. and re: Intense like, maybe the writing in future episodes will totally upend this, but i’d say rian and winston in 5x05, even when “clashing,” was like damn near laidback and chill. neither of them seem at all that pressed, but maybe even a sorta-playful Friendly Rivalry is more “intense” than, say, a dynamic that involves no rivalry at all. imo “Passionate” is just like, okay, so they’ll fuck or at least make out? sure. not sure what to make of “horrible” lmfao maybe again it’s addressing like “this is a lil messy and they’re kinda rivals!!!” like, certainly not an ideal start, except by billions standards it IS weirdly great. rian seeming good-naturedly amused by winston is something we didn’t get from his longtime-coworkers until like, now, sort of, and still not to the degree that anyone has smiled at him as many times as rian did in like that course of [1 min long First Scene Together] wherein also winston always gets off to a way worse start with people lmao............like everything about this seems Way Better And More Dialed Back And Grounded than usual, actually. but it’s that like, point of reference of “what’s Usual for winston and, more broadly, Billions” that maybe explains this weirdly strong language when all in 5x05 seemed chill actually

anyways like i said Sorry For Already Liking Rian/Winston This Much with my head start and all where like, i’m even tentatively looking forward to seeing where this goes, by “tentative” i also mean going [”i’ll kill you” the office.jpg] at billions where i am fully aware that maybe where this goes *is* a mess and not in like, just kind of a fun, non-melodramatic, not-treated-like-a-total-joke-but-also-not-that-big-a-deal way, where 5x05 could seem like Those Halcyon Days b/c everything from here out just devolves into an unappealing disaster.......but this is an unexpectedly solid start imo and like. even if this doesn’t become like this epic romance where they officially date and if rian does eventually depart the show by the end of the season, it can still just be Enjoyable and Fun for the characters and, god forbid, the viewers, where like, you don’t have to demand we be desperately invested with our entire life in this deadly serious heartwrenching epic romance, they can just kind of mess around and enjoy having a mutual attraction w/ this mathy rivalry and etc and it’s neither a tragedy of “the greatest love story of all time torn asunder” Or, truly god forbid,” this is a Whole Mess In A Bad Way b/c winston’s involved and ugh who could Really like him, being at all romantically entangled is an embarrassing mistake surely, ew cringe we hate him............like, cautiously optimistic in how like i always say that a Romantic Arc is just an easy/efficient way to develop both characters and it could certainly humanize winston an ounce in a show that treats him more like a walking algorithmic plot device and the thoughts of any viewers but us are limited to “winston annoying” basically........the show doesn’t seem to treat rian as a joke, so it seems possible that their mutual Romance in whatever way it unfolds could also be Not A Joke, which means winston’s part in it isn’t a joke, so that’s Some aspect of him for people to take seriously, for once..........like, the way his apparently-already-official crush played out in 5x05 *was* funny but it also didn’t seem like oh it’s a joke b/c his feelings are a total joke......it might seem that way if this *was* totally unrequited and going nowhere, but i somewhat get the sense that the interest is mutual even by the end of the ep, that didn’t strike me as a “shove off, it could Never Happen” shutdown from rian there, just like, hold off on that for rn maybe cue to rein it in a little, not just yet........anyways lmao i’m like “oh yeah i started this post about the baffling ex machina thing” but yeah the point is i think so far it’s pretty solid and i like it and am cautiously but [relative-to-billions level of Hopeful] about whatever developments we’re surely gonna get b/c it def sounds like this has Not ended with 5x05, but seriously @ billions i swear to god. yes so far the approach to winston’s crush here and even their unfolding mutual dynamique and dare i say, romantic interest, is being handled with an encouraging level of “this is Humorous but the characters / their feelings are not what’s being treated as A Total Joke or anything,” but who knows what will come next, this is billions and you can’t predict anything. fingers crossed about it all, though

#winston billions #i'm enjoying what we have so far anyways While I Can #still billions-grade Hopeful that it will continue to be enjoyable.......#i can imagine that things could continue to unfold in a fairly cute & fun way. i am already somewhat Doing So b/c i like them enough already #have enough gentle optimism that i absolutely can be let down by next week's developments...........We Shall See #seriously just tl;dr i'm not the least bit sure what the ex machina thing means. tentative ''it's as much a Clue that winston already kinda #is crushing as much as idk.....meaning anything else at all'' lmao.........like okay whatever it's billions just roll w/ the weird refs #like the seeming nascar-or-whatever related one whomever taylor was talking about tony womsthever from 2005?? i didnt research too much into #that like i don't need to know cuz idc and Why Would They.....maybe it's like wendy making the unnecessary metallica reference 4 sec later #where everyone's just automatically in [unnecessary references] mode.........#riawin

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green-blooded · 5 years

Text

Hokay, I'm starting Star Trek: Beyond. Going to rant again... maybe say some positive things here and there. Does McCoy get to be a character in this one? Guess I'm about to find out.

Summary:

(Because he did! And also other words! So there’s still some negativity here, but I liked this one best out of the three movies.)

What.... are these aliens. Why do they look like this. Why are they gargoyles. Why are they attacking Kirk. Why is this happening. Why is this in a Star Trek. Okay. I'm. Trying. Let me enjoy this. Let me try to enjoy this. I will stop being grumpy.

Haha he ripped his shirt okay you got me but if the nipples aren't out it doesn't count.

McCoy is onscreen early in a corridor walk that they could've easily left him out of, so that's a good sign? They were a trio for a second.

Why are they showing all Kirk's uniforms as the same? Where is his fat shirt? This is important to me, okay. Wait, I said I wasn't going to be picky.

Whoa, McCoy has a second scene already!!!!!!!! Oh they're having a whole interaction oh no it's cute. WHY IS McKIRK THE ONLY THING I LIKE IN THESE MOVIES? "You know me, Mr. Sensitive." Oh no he's so cute.

MCCOY'S CONTINUING TO BE IN SCENES AND ARGUING WITH SPOCK. It's still about nothing because these movies don't do deep conflict, but. Y'know. There was a tiny trio moment again. I'm being positive.

Okay, those were a lot of establishing shots for Yorktown, so I hope it's actually important...

MCCOY IS IN ANOTHER SCENE WOW.

Oh yeah this is the one where they kinda let us know Sulu's gay? I forgot about that.

Oh no don't make me cry about nimoy please i don't want to deal with real emotions watching these movies. :(

Some of this does feel vaguely Star-Trek, even though it's still taking place in such HUGE environments that it throws me off. Every room is so POINTLESSLY huge.

Um... we're leaving Yorktown so I'm continuing to wonder if those establishing shots meant anything...

The CMO is on the bridge where he belongs, thank you.

Oh, did they let the lady characters have rank now? Soooo progressivvvve.

Do we really need to completely destroy the Enterprise in every movie? Like. Gosh. Where is Kirk's weird sexual attraction to his ship that makes him want to keep it safe? He's sexually attracted to everything ELSE in this version.

Oh my god are Spock and McCoy getting to do something without Kirk there???!!! ARE THEY CHARACTERS????

Everything is so spaced out on the bridge that Kirk has to be standing at the nav station to talk to someone in another part of his ship???

Newer versions of Star Trek keep putting the "evil" aliens in five hundred pounds of latex and makeup... you don't have to make the aliens less humanoid to make them threatening if you just... write better. Also maybe stop creating evil aliens.

I really have no emotional reaction to seeing the Enterprise being destroyed two movies in a row. I don't even have any emotional attachment to this version of the ship because it looks so stupid inside.

... We couldn't get the red alert sound right? Really?

Too much action too much action too much action. Please give me a story so I can care about what's going on.

Once again the gravity situation shows why the Enterprise shouldn't have such huge interiors... I know I'm going on about that a LOT, but it's one of the stupidest design choices in these movies.

WHY DO THEY THINK WE CARE ABOUT THIS VERSION OF THE ENTERPRISE WHEN THEY HAVE MADE NO EFFORT TO MAKE IT FEEL LIKE HOME OR EVEN A SETTING IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF STERILE LIGHT FIXTURES.

Pointless action sequence with Scotty just... getting out of his escape pod. Cool.

Why put Uhura with an alien race where she could use her linguistic skills and then just have them know English? Sigh. Oh well, at least she's getting a scene to herself. Like she's her own character or something, wow.

Hello Spock and McCoy interacting! Thank goodness for small mercies. But a little less exciting when they have no established relationship to this point, but it's fine.

Oh wow they're having a conversation that could be considered somewhat philosophical. Someone saw a Star Trek episode before writing this!

The hot alien lady seems like a D&D character, but that's fine.

I appreciate McCoy yelling at Spock for collapsing in pain. But like, a caring kind of yell. Good job Urban.

I really do keep zoning out during action scenes. I barely know what's going on in the Kirk scenes because it's just a ton of action that doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Like... the character who has already lied... lied again. Wow.

I really would like to have some emotional reaction to characters running around the wreckage of the Enterprise, but I don't. :(

Goodbye pointless alien who screwed everyone over a lot.

"Federation has taught you that conflict should not exist." No, these movies are just really bad at it, latex face alien.

Ooookay, we established Yorktown so we should care that this alien guy wants to destroy it because he hates unity or something. Cool.

Spock and McCoy scene okay. And we directly mention philosophy! Blunt, but cool. Again... it's just hard to get into it because there's nothing established with these characters, since these movies are more into action than character. But that was a good moment between them. Like... McCoy saying he'd throw a party if Spock left doesn't work because we have seen hardly ANY of the banter between them. It's relying on what we've seen in TOS... But Spock laughing was cute.

I like Jayla a lot. She's definitely a Star Wars character, but it's fine.

Lol they had to give us a ship older than the Enterprise to find one that looked a little bit like a Star Trek ship. Sigh. But at least they're doing it.

I love you Karl Urban for trying so hard to sound like you're from Georgia. I forgive you for, y'know, not.

OKAY AGAIN... the "Of course I care..." etc lines are good, but there is NO HISTORY BETWEEN THESE CHARACTERS BECAUSE YOU JUST MADE EVERYTHING ACTION SCENES AND THE ONLY FEELING I HAVE ABOUT THEM CAME FROM DE AND NIMOY.

He just yelled at Spock for collapsing in pain again, which is just the best.

Spock: [dying a lil]

McCoy: DAMMIT SPOCK STOP THAT

Gotta say... I did like the moment where Spock looks to McCoy when Kirk says he needs him to stay alive. All I wanted this whole time was the trio.

Okay, McCoy calling Uhura's necklace a tracking device, then saying that he's glad Spock doesn't respect him--when literally a few scenes ago, Spock said he did respect him--is kinda great. Especially since respect in this scenario is, like, a way of Spock saying he has romantic feelings for Uhura? Beyond is bringing Spones back into the picture, and it's not perfect, but I'll take it.

Scott saying "she's lost people too, Captain" was good. It was real good. There are good moments in this one, thank goodness.

Holy goodness, they're letting Scott be a character too! They're letting everyone be real characters instead of just scene dressing for the Kirk and Spock show!

I appreciate Kirk calling everyone Mr. Whatever and McCoy is just "Bones."

McCoy saying "I'll keep an eye on him" about Spock oh no. Oh no it's cute.

Wow this dumb motorcycle scene is Very CG.

The main storyline of this movie is Also Very Bad, but I can deal with bad plots when there are good character moments.That's why I can watch the worst Star Trek episodes for the most part... So Beyond is capturing the feel of a bad Star Trek episode, which is an improvement from the first two movies.

On the other hand, while I would like to try to judge these movies on their own merit, I CAN'T because they lean on the original series. The Spock and McCoy interactions are just one example where all of the emotion and development was actually in the series, but now I'm supposed to apply it to this version of the characters who have never shown any connection before now. So, I have to compare them to TOS and it's just not going to come out well for AOS in any department but special effects and budget. (And Pine being more likable than Shatner as a person tbh.) Then even the relationships they HAVE developed in the show, like Spock and Uhura, make me feel very little because they didn't develop them well. Again, action scenes take precedence over development, and it makes the entire thing weaker.

But little moments like Kirk going to save Jayla when she thinks she'll be left behind, which calls back on the moment with what Scott said about being a team... that was a good within itself because it didn't rely on anything from the original series without entirely deviating from the spirit of it! I wish moments like that weren't so rare in these movies.

Were all those establishing shots like an hour ago really enough for me to care about what's happening to Yorktown? Not... not really? I mean, it's sad, but. I don't know anything about this place. The only ones I have any connection to are Sulu's family, and that's only because I like Sulu...

AHHHHHHHHHH MORE SPOCK AND MCCOY um... do you see how easy i am to make happy like... i could have easily loved these movies if they'd done a little better

Scott and Jayla are really cute engineering buddies and this is one thing that's 100% AOS that I really appreciate.

This is how I feel when I hear the Beastie Boys too. (Not in a good way. Not a fan.)

Hey guess what I'm about to say! Guess what it is! If you guessed "This action sequence is too damn long" then you get no prizes because it's pretty much a given at this point.

.... Krall is Idris Elba? I could've been looking at Idris Elba this whole time? Stupid latex.

This... reveal makes... no sense? I mean, on the plus side, I guess this means that the evil latex face aliens weren't evil aliens, but bad Humans... Still not great that they use latex to other characters and make them more ~scary~ imo.

Also, this is... basically the same reveal as the Khan reveal, just slightly less stupid because we didn't already know this character like we knew Khan. But they literally did the "different name, and then we find out who they are" thing twice in Into Darkness... seems weird to do it a third time for Beyond.

ALLLLSO I'm really tired of every conflict in these movies being resolved with fighting... isn't the theme of this very movie about how conflict is something we're moving beyond as Humans?

Are McCoy and Spock still just flying around? I'm confused. Too much action has happened and I can't tell who is doing what. I only know Kirk is in danger because people keep saying he is.

Oh, okay, they were still just flying around so they could save Kirk at the last minute. Which is goofy, but okay. Gotta love Kirk continuing to give Spock all the credit when McCoy is the one saving him. GREAT LOVE THAT SO COOL.

Love that Spock's conflict about leaving Starfleet to help his people is literally the exact same in these two movies.

Oh no they're bringing back Nimoy related thing to give me emotions again. Don't do that. You didn't earn my love of Nimoy, movie.

OH NO THERE'S THE PICTURE PART THAT I WAS TOLD ABOUT OH NO MY FEELINGS. OH NO.

Oh, Karl Urban. I appreciate your accent efforts.

....... lol that look Spock and McCoy exchanged about the necklace. Um. Okay. I won't read into that, don't worry, not at all.

HEY HEY HEY THEY LET MCCOY JOIN THE KIRK AND SPOCK SHOW AT THE END WOW THANKS IT'S LIKE IT'S NOT JUST THE TWO OF THEM. AND NOW THEY'RE ALL DOING THE "THESE ARE THE VOYAGES" SPEECH. That's a nice touch.

Okay, this one was the best of the three movies by a lot. Still not. Y'know... great. But they introduced a new character I liked. They had some good Spock and McCoy moments, even if they pretended that the TOS relationship was intact. They let Uhura exist outside of Spock for a while. Scotty got some really great moments. Overall, I'm not as angry as I was while watching the other two!

But now I'm going to watch some TOS, and the next episode I have queued up is Journey to Babel, so. I'm much happier about that. (Yes, this is a call back to the gif I used up top. Look at me, tying things together like a cohesive story would.)

#negativity

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ofstvtches · 5 years

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ROCKY LYNCH, MASCULINE NB, HE/HIM & THEY/THEM. — looks like SAMHAIN SKELLINGTON is attending AURORIA UNIVERSITY in auradon. they're the TWENTY year old child of JACK & SALLY SKELLINGTON, which means they're from THE ISLE. heard they're NURTURING & GENTLEMANLY, but can also be INFLEXIBLE & SELF-PITYING ; we all have our bad days. people normally associate them with SEWING NEEDLES REPAIRING A BROKEN DOLL , A BAG FULL OF BANDAGES, TRYING SO HARD TO BE TOUGH WHEN YOU’RE SOFT , SOFT HAIR HELD BACK WITH A BAT-SHAPED PIN.

❛ when you saw that little girl , and she was in the sandbox and she was crying , and you gave her your toy truck and I told you we couldn’t afford to get another one. you said , ‘ she should have it because she’s sad. she’s sad , mommy. ’ ❜ playlist. pinterest. to listen as you read.

lol u guessed it it’s me , again , by unpopular demand - i am so sorry. third muse already bc i can’t keep myself away from playing absolute CINNAMON ROLLS so that’s what u can expect from sam w/ a pumpkin spice twist. bc nightmare is my absolute favorite movie and ... halloween, motherfuckers. so as usual this will PROBABLY end up long bc i love writing sam so much so yeah , more below !

HISTORY

So as we know , Jack & Sally were sent to the Isle w/ the rest of Halloweentown for trying to steal Christmas ! And unlike Christmas , Samhain was not born in Halloweentown. In fact , he wasn’t even born - he was made.

Magic wasn’t a huge thing on the Isle - but a resource of science was Dr. Finkelstein , and despite the limited resources and technology on the Isle , the couple begged the mad scientist to create another child for them. And from Sally , it took a lot of convincing , but Jack was able to talk him into it.

It took even more of an effort to pull off , again considering the state of the Isle. But a good few months into the project and Jack & Sally were greeted with the cries of a tiny ragdoll baby boy. Keeping up with the holiday themed names , he was named Samhain - Sam for short.

He grew with multiple touch-ups from the doctor to simulate an actual boy growing up - every year , a check-up making him taller , stronger , etc. And in that process he started to look more and more like his mother , with her big eyes and stitched smile and patchwork clothes. But he grew up loved by his brother & parents - though it never quelled the fact he always wanted... more.

He was loved , he was coddled , and as sheltered as a child could be on the Isle. So , much like his mother , he took a habit of sneaking out frequently and trying to fit in with the other Isle kids , even though he knew he didn’t.

He just wanted to fit in. That was it. And it started off with him wearing large hoods and heavy clothes to hide the stitches on his body as well as masks to cover facial stitches. And while some other Isle kids found him odd and sticking out like a sore thumb , some found him cool. Some found him interesting. But nobody really knew what he was hiding - and it added mystery to someone so NICE , because Sam’s overall sweetness could rival that if sugar’s.

Curiosity only reached dangerous points though when Sam snuck out on night to camp out with friends - and when everyone else was asleep , one removed his mask , and of COURSE did Samhain immediately wake up. He didn’t stay to see the reaction of the other when revealing his stitches , too afraid that he’d be seen as scary or repulsive for what he was. And he ran. He ran back home , locking himself in his room , and those friends he routinely hung out with . . . well , he didn’t talk to them much after that. Because what if they knew , now ?? What would they think ??

Villain & Auradon kids coming together was a new chance for Sam to try and fit in - be more in his element. He was immediately acquainted with a magic-practicing individual ( could be an AK or a VK - this’ll be a wc ) who struck a deal with him to offer him glamours so he could look less scary. Of course , these glamours would have to be applied and would wear off until the next application , but it’d make him feel more comfortable - even though he WOULD technically be hiding who he is.

While Christmas , the elder sibling , would be sticking around in Auradon Prep , Samhain would prefer to move immediately to Auroria University to try and figure out who exactly he wanted to be , and how he could do that. Currently he’s majoring in Nursing , given he’s always had a rather NURTURING and charitable nature - never turning down someone else’s request to help.

CHARACTER & FACTS

So lemme get this one thing out of the way bc if I don’t I’ll be itching about it - but all my resources for ( the love of my life ) Rocky were made by me , and while they’re all from multiple eras from both R5 & TDE , I imagine Sam to resemble how Rocky looks around the post-Louder , Heart Made Up On You & Sometime Last Night eras ( basically from like 2013-2015 ). Here , here , & here for some references. I’m nOT DONE GIFFING THOUGH bc frankly I find giffing him therapeutic.

Now I don’t have a drawn reference or anything for this next part so we’re gonna have to use our imagination here but unglamoured , Sam basically looks like his mom in terms of the fact he’s a little ragdoll baby. Putting on a glamour doesn’t change his appearance much save for the fact the stitches disappear and he looks more human.

The glamour is an enchanted bat charm he wears around his neck that can also be used as a hairtie. And it has to be refreshed every so often , so he has to keep going back to whoever provided him with it so it doesn’t lose its effect.

He still has a backup mask just in case , and he’s been practicing with makeup if need be.

Personality-wise , the best one can describe Sam as is sweet and polite. I included tht Stranger Things quote at the beginning 4 a rEASON bc he’s honestly such a sweet kid and will give anything to anyone.

And also bc I imagine Sally as Joyce mom-wise so yEAH bt I digress.

He knows his manners and treats everyone with the UTMOST amount of respect , which makes it extremely easy to get along with him . He’s also maybe a tad bit too giving for his own good , since it’s incredibly easy to use that to one’s advantage and he’s so inclined to believe people have the best intentions. An optimist , even if it’s to a fault. And then when he gets hurt he just sits to the side feeling sorry for himself like “ :’’’(. ”

Now when I say he’s inflexible , I mean that Sam is a very ORGANIZED person who likes things to be done a certain way - like , he can never do anything without a plan , and if even something slightly goes out of what the plan pertains of , he panics. He’s a goody-goody and he’s afraid to break the rules , which is why he’s still hesitant to even do things with the friends who are more “ bad ” than he is.

Everything has to be done BY THE BOOK and if it isn’t then something is bound to go wrong and Sam’s too worried about that happening.

He’s also incredibly insecure about his appearance but I think I’ve hammered in that fact enOUGH ALREADY

But if he takes his glamour off in front u that’s like. A Major sign of trust. So beware.

Again as I mentioned he tries to hang out with kids with the lesser reputations because :

1.) He wants to give them a chance

2.) He wants to make sure they have a friend to look after them

and 3.) He’s so used to trying to fit in with the other Isle kids that he’s trying to be ‘bad’ himself but it never works out bc he’s so sweet and he can dress in skinny jeans and leather and shit as much as he wants but at the end of the day he’s still Sweet Lil’ Samhain.

One thing he’s always had a fascination with would be angels - he’s always believed in them , always though he’s had his own guardian angel watching over him somewhere , he’s always loved the idea of them. He has lots of angel decorations around his dorm as well as ornaments and stuff for the holidays. It’s also pure irony that he just so happens to be just as angelic in nature.

He’s also a big holiday person like the rest of his family and loves helping to decorate for events and stuff !!

One of his greatest talents is his ability to play both the piano & violin , and he’ll often do that if there’s a piano in common areas or so on. He’s also a talented singer , but he’s so used to putting that to the side , making him lack confidence in his voice.

i v much encourage u to listen to the song i linked i find his voice so....soothing.

Like his mom he’s also very good at cooking , sewing , etc. !! Often has to stitch himself back together if he gets hurt - you know , Sally style.

More basic facts are that his final height clocks in at 6′4 , he’s homoromantic homosexual , and identifies as masculine non-binary who doesn’t really care how you address him. He’s very chill. And sometimes he has to walk with a cane of sorts if his stitches are loose or if his legs are feeling especially weak.

but yeah that’s it on that end !!!

WANTED CONNECTIONS

So obviously - the person who provided him with the glamour. Only requirement is that ur character’s good at magic or something of that sort.

AND ALSO - I’d love the person who initially removed his mask !! Sam didn’t stick around to see them react to how he truly looked , so it’s all up to you on how this character feels. But he’s avoided them since that scenario.

Also , his group of friends around the time that scenario happened on the Isle. Maybe they’re a little more rough around the edges than him , but this group was always tight-knit. And then Sam lightning mcghosted bc he wasn’t sure if now they knew what he really was.

Ppl who think his whole sweet thing is fAKE bc we know it isn’t but it’s so easy to THINK it is.

Also would love some folks he routinely cares for maybe in the aspect of like. Bein their shoulder to cry on. Patching up a wound. Just being There for them.

Folks who in general just wanna know more abt him bc he is kind of a mystery !!

Would lOVE sb who his glamour wears off in front of and he begs them to keep his secret but instead they want him to try n be more comfortable w/ himself and who he is. Bc he’s a cute ragdoll let’s b honest he just. Doesn’t see himself that way.

Ppl who Sam crushed on at the Isle and deffo broke his heart bc life just b like that sometimes

Also present day folks who r just ready to break his heart bc again thats so easy to do

also once more i’m open 2 ANYTHINNNNNNG sam is my Baby(tm) and i’d lov any plots thrown his way !! will probs make another wc page for him like i’ve done w/ luke and am in the process of doing w/ trixie !!

#usoa:intro #abt tag tbd #and nOW i hop 2 do replies !#i hope u guys like this tho sam is like. one of my fav muses to write ever.#he's the perfect man bt also not a man.

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the-madame21 · 6 years

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wait why would you kill kou and laito i mean theyre kind of hoes but i love them (honestly so much has probably happened since ive been a fan but i mean.... my lil hoes.............)

I’m not sure what or where you got your knowledge of diabolik lovers but you seem to be misunderstanding quite a bit. I’ve answered why I dislike Kou and Laito so many times I’m already pretty tired of it. Case in point: their abuse is personally triggering for me. Outlined both here and here.

“They’re kind of hoes” umm..?? I mean it’s an otome game? A pretty fucking dark one? That’s such a general thing to say. That description applies to literally any of the boys. But when it comes to Laito, that’s the biggest misconception people have and it honestly drives me insane. Because he’s not just the “uwu let’s have sex!” character. He is absolutely the most manipulative and by far the most cruel, and the ONLY reason he’s as much of a sex addict as he is is because his mother sexually abused him for most of his life and now he uses sex as a coping mechanism.

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times. The biggest “hoe” in this game, in terms of who is the most sexual and pleasures the heroine the most is, in fact, Kanato. You have (relatively-ish consensual) sex, you kiss and touch the most on his route.

Laito RAPES you in his route.

Also you don’t like Reiji. Great. One look at my blog and you know he’s my favorite. Why bother telling me this? If you’re of the opinion that I don’t care what you think then why bother sending me an ask accusing me of such? I don’t like when things are worded all “poor me” like that. Either say it or don’t.

Comments like that are what caused me to write an entire Reiji Manifesto. In which I actually did address the “he’s so mean” comment. I’ll leave the excerpt here for easy access:

He’s so mean and scary—Why? Because he has standards? If you read/play his route you’ll realize that he actually bites Yui the least out of all the other brothers, and he doesn’t ever force himself on her. If I recall correctly, they don’t even have sex on his route. When Yui is attacked by those random punks, Reiji is at home waiting for her, first aid kit ready. He bandages her up himself. When Cordelia takes over, he repeatedly assures Yui that her place is by his side, and he will not allow someone to take his property. (Sure, being property is cringe worthy, but let’s not get into the other nicknames the boys call her). Reiji obeys Cordelia, gets down on his fucking KNEES so that she won’t harm Yui’s body. Reiji. Reiji Sakamaki, son of Karlheinz and Beatrix on his goddamn knees. All for a human which he is so clearly in love with. Because as you all remember, he clearly has no issues letting a few of them die. But he refuses to let Yui die or get harmed. When thrown into the lake, he jumps in right after her. Dick move, right? sarcasm, in case you couldn’t tell

Like I just mentioned in a previous ask, Reiji is one of the only brothers I can recall actually APOLOGIZING for his actions. He snaps when Yui finds his revival potion and nearly kills her, but then reflects on his actions and admits that he acted irrationally. And like I mentioned in the previous ask, Reiji is the only diaboy who wants Yui to improve for herself. He wants her to be able to hold her own. When she asks him to tutor her he specifically says that she can’t live her life relying on others and that she should study for herself. He knows she’s capable. He wants her to unlock her own potential.

“He’s so mean” pisses me off the most because when you compare all other five brothers, Reiji is practically a saint and again, this claim is one of the biggest misconceptions in the fandom. He is pretty much the only brother that actually calls Yui by her name, instead of “Titless, Little Slut, Sow, Cattle, etc.” In his after stories, Reiji much nicer to Yui than any of the other brothers.

Its misinformation like this that made me want to leave in the first place. So again, not sure where the fuck you got your info from, or if maybe you were anime-only (but even in the anime Reiji is the one who gives the potion to save Yui’s life) but please don’t make such basic generalizations about a series and characters I think everyone already knows I spend a lot of time loving and analyzing. If it didn’t have the depth that it did then I wouldn’t get nearly as many asks asking for help on understanding these boys.

#asks #aidenjaxwrites #dl asks #great that you have your faves #we all do

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free-the-mages · 6 years

Text

15 Questions

:] Many thanks to @fen-harel for the tag!!! They’re always including me and that makes me feel... included. And happy! <3 I don’t remember if this is my first OOC meme thing like this but it’s the first I do remember, so… yeah! ;] Ya’ll (who read this) are ‘bout to learn more about me than you probably want to!

Are you named after someone? First off, the name I use online – Kaitlyn – is my real name. As far as being named after someone… like, not really? Though my mom has, on multiple occasions, told me about how Sheena Easton’s character on Miami Vice was named Caitlin, but she didn’t like that spelling so she changed it. So the name was brought to her attention from that, but she didn’t name me it because she loved the show or the character or anything. She just fell in love with the name.

When was the last time you cried? More like, when was the last time I didn’t cry?! Haha, jkjk. I am an emotional wreck tho. :] I actually teared up a bit earlier today, realizing it was N7 Day, and that sending me into the rollercoaster of feelings I get from Mass Effect in general, but there are also some super heavy feelings attached to the Trilogy for reasons outside the scope of the game itself. I guess. Idk if that makes sense, but it’s not something I’m gonna go into so publicly here. (Tbh, it’s not something I have an issue talking about, it’s just something that could definitely be triggering for others and I don’t wanna put that out there like that.) Anyway, moving on!

Do you have kids? I have a cat! I’m not gonna ask if she counts because she 100% does!! Her name is Memphis (yes, like the city in Tennessee) and I love her and she’s my baby!!!! My lil’ Mem Mem! My Moo Moo!! (she is my world, guys.)

Here’s a couple gifs I made for you guys of her high on the ‘nip!

Do you use sarcasm a lot? A fair amount, yeah. But really only if I’m comfortable with people though. I’ve even had friends who don’t fully understand my humor/sarcasm and are like, “… seriously?” and I’m like, “… no.” :3

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Their approachability. I’m not insanely social, ya know? So when I’m meeting people or taking note of people, I tend to assess how approachable they appear. And yeah, some of that is how they look, but come on. The whole not judging a book by it’s cover thing is definitely a thing. I guess I just really know whether or not I’m going to feel comfortable with/around a person by the sense of approachability I get from them. It happens immediately, really. Mostly from the way they greet me, or introduce themselves to me, or engage with me. I gravitate towards immediately engaging people. If a person seems standoffish, I’m like… this isn’t gonna work probably. Which isn’t super great, because maybe some people are just having an off day and aren’t super into engaging at that time! But it is what it is, I guess. One does try to be better, though. ^^ Now, if we’re talking about online, it’s pretty much the same thing. I notice the way they present themselves, and you usually can really tell how approachable a person is by the way they talk through text and like, emojis and stuff. :] Being social online isn’t really any easier for me than it is in person, so if I’m looking at someone’s blog or something and I’m just like, “This person seems so great. I’d like to be friends!” then I def know they’re def approachable. To me, at least. xD (I’ve come across a lot of approachable appearing people thus far in my time in the fandom! <3)

What’s your eye color? Like a bluish/greyish/greenish color. It shifts a bit sometimes. There are also some orange-ish flecks in there.

Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Well, I’m not super into scary movies. I mean, I definitely love a happy ending, no matter what!! But I’ve been trying to challenge myself in recent years to watch more scary things because I detest being frightened (it’s more of the jump scare/startle thing that I really hate) but I can’t just watch any scary movie. It has to have a plot that really sticks out to me. However, thus far, every scary movie I’ve gone out of my way to see has been a dud in my – and my movie-going partners’ – book. I’ll keep trying, though! One of these days I’ll find a scary movie that I’ve personally picked to see that I actually like and would watch again!

Any special talents? Um…. I’m fat and can do the splits?! Is that a special talent?! (By some people’s reaction[s], it sure seems like it. xD) Idk. I tend to think there’s nothing special about me, as one does, u kno. :]

Where were you born? A hospital in Florida sometime during the rampage of Hurricane Hugo.

What are your hobbies? Um… video games? xD Drawing! Writing (when I actually write, that is)! Making gifs! Sleeping! Making fun of myself in a way that seriously sounds like I’m putting myself down but it’s totally okay because that’s just what I do so don’t worry about it! :D I’m just garbage, guys. <3

Do you have any pets? THE GIFS AGAIN!!!!

THAT FACE.

LOVE HER.

How tall are you? Last I knew I was like, 5’7” or so.

What sports do you play/have you played? None, because I am not athletic in the least! OHOH! I did play volleyball for a half a second in elementary school! But there were no other teams to play against so we literally had ONE!! practice. :]

Favorite subject at school? LUNCH!!!! *fat girl in body and spirit* :3 But really. I’ve always been pretty good at English/whatever you wanna call your literary classes or whatevs. I was in AP English in 10th grade! But I didn’t apply myself like I should have after Freshman year, so… the whole AP thing didn’t last long. :] Anyway, I was good at the English, but I wouldn’t say that, as a class, I ~~~liked it all that much. MATH IS G A R B A G E THANK YOU VERY MUCH. So is gym. TOO. MUCH. RUNNING. Idk. School was a total crapshoot for me so I wouldn’t say I really appreciated any class.

BUT THAT’S A FUCKING LIE.

FRENCH.

FRANÇAIS.

MY TEACHER WAS A GLORIOUS WOMAN AND SHE MADE THE CLASS SO FUN AND ENJOYABLE.

So yeah. The answer is French. :]

Dream job? Honestly I always felt like it was something I’d never have, so it’s something I’ve never really thought about. I mean, just something I enjoy doing that I don’t hate in less than a decade. That makes me some decent money, ya dig?

So basically that’s it!! :D Whew, that was long! I’m not gonna officially tag anyone ‘cause everyone’s already been tagged, I just know it. But if you aren’t tagged and you happen to see this and wanna do it, then DO IT!! :D And tag me so I can read it!! Also thank youuuuu to anyone who read this. Love you all!!!

#ooc meme #questions meme #not a game #personal garbage

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lagaudiiere-archive · 6 years

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♧ Is there an RP partner(s) that you credit for becoming a better writer?

Memes for the Writer ;

Honestly this may seem like a very “cheesy” thing to say but every single person I’ve ever written with has helped me better my writing & myself. I look back at my older blogs & die a little inside out of second-hand embarrassment ( like how would people write with me? ) but it’s so nice because it means I’ve come so far ( hopefully! ) as a writer! Every single person who’s written with me helped me hone in my character’s voice or a specific style of writing just a little bit more, helped me get over my fear of not being good enough or whatever because clearly, someone thought I was.

But I do have to give a few shout-outs. Which … got long so they’re under the cut. If you don’t care about the whys, they’re @jedichosen, @heleads, @moonhurts, @croianam, @ourpyrrhicvictory, @scarfwere, @oliverqxeen.

@jedichosen — Idk if she wants me to tag her other blogs but This list ( & probably I ) wouldn’t be here without Sari. Sari is everything. We met on my old Allison blog where she scared the hell out of me on her Tom Riddle blog & then I made a Mary Stuart blog & she came into my inbox with all caps excitement & that was … literally it. We screamed over the show & our children & literally it was magic. Sari & I clicked, we wrote 2534634 threads ( one of them an actual novella I kid you not ) & this was where I truly felt like I got to expand my writing & become a better writer. To write so consistently with someone, getting to explore a million different facets, aspects, & timelines of a character really helps you not just better learn your character but yourself as a writer. To feel so comfortable with someone that it was never a scary thing to write a reply to but like you were dying to get something to them is just amazing & I don’t know what I would have done without Sari because Sari was the one who made this experience literally something else. We were always on Skype calls, yelling at each other over the awful thing the other had written, & just — idk it’s just something else when you’re basically best friends offline & then write a ton of things because both end up being something more than you’d expect because of the other. She was the one who encouraged me to make my multi because I was feeling stuck on Allison & she has been my supporter & writing alongside me always. Even if we die on our blogs we’re still always in touch & I have become the writer I am, probably the person I am too because of Sari. I love Sari more than I can find words — & I’ve found quite a lot thanks to her.

@heleads — Moony has been with me quite literally from day one. She was the person who actually gave me a chance when I applied to her rpg a million years ago even though the “sample” I sent her was probably like three lines long ( I had no idea what a sample was ok I don’t know how she even gave me the time of day I’d have deleted that “application” & pretended I never got it ) & she welcomed me into the rpg with open arms. She was one of the friendliest people ever, but also one of the most talented, as I got to experience firsthand. She responded to my sad starters, & I wrote my longest ever stuff with her first. We had a hella long thread thing & an almost ship that everyone loved & then I was able to find her on indie & it was the most amazing thing ever. She never never ceases to astound me with her talents. Even if we haven’t written together ( rip we need to change this ) it doesn’t matter because her understanding & writing of her character is incredible & just by looking at her stuff I become a better writer tbh. Ily to the moon & back ( hehehe see what I did there. )

@moonhurts / @heartcoils — KJ has been there since day one of indie, even though she didn’t know it. Like honestly? I have been stalking — I mean loving KJ since the second I made my first ever indie blog, Matt Donovan. She was always so inspiring? Her writing was just breathtaking, her as a person was just one of the most amazing people ever. Like she would bring positivity & class to my dash man, there was no other way to put it. Her understanding of all her characters leaves me absolutely in awe, & probably a lil jealous lbr, but also pushes me to want to do better. We may not have written nearly as much as I would like but that’s mostly because she has always been so so talented I used to be terrified? But the few times we did, I have had to really think about my words, our characters, & every time I’ve written with KJ, my writing has become that much better. I love KJ because it’s not just about the writing although I did initially fall in love with her writing ( & her writing teaches me so much every day tbh? ) KJ has been one of my closest friends on this site — & it’s because we’re friends off it. We weren’t always close but we were always sort of on each other’s radars & I always felt like there was this unspoken pact of we were there for the other if we ever needed it. We would go months in between texts but it didn’t matter. And now we go like … at the most a week, if that, between conversations. Being able to talk about my thoughts, whatever they may be, or throw around ideas or plots or just talk about different characters & dynamics so comfortably & to have such intelligent conversations is amazing. KJ throws back everything I lob at her tbh plus more & it’s always made me a better person — which makes me a better writer too ( because that’s what this is about. ) I love you so so much. You’re amazing, you’re incredible, & I wouldn’t nearly enjoy this site as much as I do without you. It’s like … you give it … a soul. I love you.

@croianam — KAY! My darling, beloved Kay. It’s so astounding that I was able to, by some crazy chance, find Kay again. I have known Kay since my second ever rpg ( first Marauders’ Era — once you go marauders there’s no going back amirite? ) Kay was literal sunshine in our ooc chats & I remember my awful awful days ( it was a hard time ok ) becoming a million times better because she’d been around. We got to talking, we got to texting, we got to modding another marauders’ era rpg, & have written either with or about each others’ characters it’s amazing. The dynamics that are brought about by Kay’s magic is something else. I ended up writing the brother of one of her characters & I actually got to explore so much & learn so much as a writer ( & get to go into so much more depth ) because of the special sibling bond, especially because I adored the writer so much. Tbh the love in the thread was real, just different because of Kay. Kay makes writing seem effortless, she’s fearless, has never let anyone get to her & has always been unapologetically awesome. That’s taught me a lot honestly, & every single meme she’d respond to ( & kill me in the process ) would teach me a little bit more tbh. We used to text a lot during said difficult time & I genuinely remember every day & most conversations we had. This may seem irrelevant because it just shows how amazing a person she is but really, I was able to become a better writer through overcoming a lot of my difficulties & I wouldn’t have done that without Kay, no joke. I may not have written nearly as much as I’d like with Kay but she’s taught me so much as a writer & friend & there is literally no way I can explain just how fantastic a person she is.

@ourpyrrhicvictory — Listen, we may not have written much since the rpg we both happened to end up on ( also marauders’ era what a surprise ) but writing with Oso was literal magic ( haha get what I did there? ) I remember the words literally coming out of places I never knew existed from a character I had loved & adored & written for years. Why? Because his writing brought it about, his incredible characterization & understanding of a character that I’d merely glanced at but he’d given such depth to. Being able to write alongside someone like that? Makes you a better writer, made me a better writer & it was one of the best things ever. I cannot wait for the day I am not trash ( I don’t know how he puts up with me tbh ) & we can write 346645 things but I’m also still terrified of how amazing he is so? There’s that.

@casualtyloss / @scarfwere / @erchommai — Cas! Cas is such a sweetheart, has been the kindest most wonderful person ever. I don’t know how I found Cas, I don’t even remember it at all I just know that Cas & I just … found each other & every single thread I’ve written with Cas has just been so easy but also made me think & I mean really think about my character. My favorite thing, to this day, is our thread with her Sebastian ( who is both terrifying & somehow endearing in a way only Cas can do it tbh. ) Cas makes me think about not just my character but the characters she writes. She’s able to bring about this atmosphere & this — this something that makes writing both easy & challenging but both in the best way possible. She’s always down to write my favorite most obscure stuff & has always been so so kind? Like it takes me a long time to really feel comfortable with someone & fear I’m not bothering them but with Cas? Like tbh I know I bother her but I’m only slightly afraid which is a step up tbh. She’s made me such a better writer, she also used to be the reason I’d get through my 573498543 drafts because I would set her draft for last & that was my motivator. If that doesn’t have incredible writing partner written all over it, idk what does.

@waldosiia / @oliverqxeen — Hehe she’s going on here because she’s amazing & even though I haven’t known Kristen as long as anyone on this list it sort of feels like I do? The first time I spoke to Kristen we both ended up staying up until a ridiculously late hour but it was because neither of us never wanted to stop? It was lots of caps, lots of yelling, & lots of love tbh. Talking & writing with Kristen has just felt … not easy, not effortless because I do have to think which definitely helps me better my writing but just … idk it’s just amazing. It falls into place, we both end up screaming at the other once the replies are out, & we both love so many of the same things. I said earlier, I rarely feel comfortable enough with someone on here without feeling like I’m bugging them but with Kristen it’s like? I don’t feel that. Mind you it took me forever because she was so amazing & both of us kind of loved each other from afar but just, she’s got such a natural grasp on any character she writes ( have you seen her Oliver? Daaamn. And her Caleb? I cry because I genuinely hear Graham’s beautiful voice. That’s skill ) & she helps me by writing her characters so perfectly that I have the best sort of person to write with, best character to build mine against if that makes sense? Idk. OOC relationships always make the in character writing a million times better & I’m so lucky to have both with Kristen & she’s just amazing ok.

#&. ʙᴇʟʟᴇ sᴘᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ ( ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ. )#&. ʟᴇᴛᴛᴇʀs ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀ ( ᴀɴsᴡᴇʀᴇᴅ. )#proditeur #{ THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK YOU'rE REALLY AMAZING ! }#{ & in case my infinite love for marauders' era wasn't made clear }#{ yeah I love so please let me love you tbh }

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cvenir · 6 years

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here i am to introduce EIGHT characters that i actually thought i had already introduced lmao set me on fire !! but yay, take a look under the cut! ofc eventually proper bios will hit my pages and their tasks will expand much more on my children! as always, pinterests and songs are linked if u wanna go a lil deeper

just kidding i drafted that when i was aCTUALLY gonna do 8 but thankfully tea says she won’t accept me until i post 2 intros so yOU SHALL RECEIVE 2 RN and 8 later <33333 gotta keep y’all on your toes heh also i wrote niall’s in my journal on the plane so like... it’s not great (literally just bullets of sentence fragments) but wtvr that’s what bios are for amirite

NIALL O'DONOGHUE looks an awful lot like TARON EGERTON. HE is TWENTY-EIGHT and while they're ASTUTE, they have a tendency to get pretty ARDUOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DON'T WANNA FALL IN LOVE by KYLE (ok his pinterest is incredibly unfinished look away)

v conflicting mix of soft and hard

king of suppressing his lowkey intense feelings

kinda awkward around others due to the fact that he spent his entire life reading, writing, and studying –– he rarely interacted with other people as a kid and this mostly continued into his adult life

sweet soft boi has a double masters in medieval and renaissance studies and french and romance philology; he’s working on his phd rn while interviewing to become an assistant professor at kola university

grew up w a single mom (never knew dad) and had no siblings so his childhood was even lonelier :////

so like mad libs = his bff :’(

well mad libs and the shoulder flashlight he invented for late night reading (shoutout to amy santiago)

v soft and passionate heart

loves intellectual discussions like my boi has v strong gemini/virgo/mercury influences –– and a libra (or taurus i haven’t decided yet) venus so waTCH OUT

takes friendship v seriously (love u grant <333 @mcnuggcts )

buttt he can be a giant asshole sorry i don’t make the rules

v organized and particular

and scared of getting close to people bc he’s so used to being alone ugh my son!!

but once you get in there you’ll see he’s a good guy like rlly is he just has a bad temper sometimes and can barely express any emotion but anger half the time :///

ISLA VARGA looks an awful lot like ALEXIS REN. SHE is TWENTY-TWO and while they're SAGACIOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty MACABRE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to COOL GIRL by TOVE LO.

so i’ve played isla before n i’m v sorry to do this but i feel hella lazy so i’m sORRY but here comes a fucking huge wall of text don’t look at me and don’t feel like u have to read it ://// all the triggers i tagged apply to her; she’s p dark so seriously do not read it if you think she will make you uncomfortable!!

to preface, isla is like the embodiment of all of the seven deadly sins, and i molded her a lot after amy dunne (scary, i know) and april ludgate (mostly amy tho april is just deadpan like she is –– when she’s being herself, that is), as she is an incredible pococurante yet perfectionist who borders on sociopathy

soooo this will make sense later but her real name is actually brigid (father’s surname idk) which she now uses as her middle name

so isla’s dad is a fucking rockstar !!! badass right. she’s half-siblings with hadley ( @ofadorations ) and colby ( @shtbgs ) but she actually never met her mom, something she’s not too pressed about

bc she was cute as a button, family friends decided to get her into the entertainment business as a child star almost as soon as she could walk –– she did it all, acted, modeled, danced, sang, she was literally hollywood’s little starlet and she hated every minute of it. the entertainment business loved who they created, but that girl was never her and it weighed deeply on her psyche.

when she was twelve, she decided to fake her own disappearance because she was fed up with everything –– she cut her hair to her ears, dyed it brown (and has continued to do so ever since) and sneaked her way to nyc hoping no one would recognize her

well someone did, and they happened to be a member of ruthless and organized mobs of the city –– in return for keeping her concealed, she pledged her devotion and became one of their most skilled and lethal honeytraps in the business (WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE BC THEY MADE HER START YOUNG I AM SO SORRY FOR WRITING THIS IT JUST PLAYS HEAVILY INTO HER CHARACTER)

along the way, members inevitably died –– people she was sworn to care for –– many times before her eyes as well, which only lead her to realize she enjoyed witnessing all sorts of death, even those of people she was supposed to “love”. emotion was almost nonexistent in isla’s childhood, a trait that bled into her character development.

she began to idolize the gang and its power, something she now craved. still, isla was doing a great job of portraying herself to those around her as a rosy, meek, baby-doll, when in actuality she was a child full of hate who would soon blossom into a young adult of the same tone. she became even more obsessed with death, fantasizing about it as if her unusual thoughts would make her less afraid when it came for her.

eventually, as she grew older, she was accepted into the higher ranks of the mob; this couldn’t have made isla more content. the macabre girl was honored that someone else noticed her genius, the way she could predict things, assess situations, manipulate people to do her bidding. it was only right that she was initiated into a society that praised her for such harshness

but, as all things do, her time in the gang ended after ten years and isla did what she does best: disappeared. she’s relocated back close to home, kola california, and it’s only a matter of time before people and the industry realize just who she is

if she’s acting like her true self, she behaves like a negative, eldritch layabout who likes to watch others suffer (sounds extreme, i know). however, she rarely lets anyone see the real her, and instead accepts various facades in a big game –– the darkness is truly her personality, she’s not faking her cold demeanor. this image enables her to mask her true potential and the fact that she is unflaggingly loyal and cares about those she’s close to.

if i had to give her a label, it would probably be the pococurante (which is defined as: an indifferent person. possibly they’re bored, jaded or even been hurt. either way, they tend not to get attached to things and don’t show much enthusiasm, whether that’s on the outside or the inside, too)

on the other hand, she could be accurately summed up as an arcane, as she’s an enigmatic mystery and she prides herself on being a puzzle that several people have failed to solve. there are many sides to her personality; in some aspects, she’s very much an aesthete considering she spends a great deal of her time taking putting together outfits, so she has a very defined fashion sense and typically dresses like a princess half the time, which is very ironic considering her dark personality. she truly is so GLAMOROUS (and this is why i love alexis for her) and she works that mean girl, hard soul aesthetic while serving looks and also able to come across as incredibly sweet, which is perfect for her multiple personas. she’s a stunner, with both her appearance and personality; as much as she is indifferent and would prefer to fly under the radar, wherever she goes people always want to ask questions, making her into this intangible concept that everyone wants to define.

people will recognize parts of her as if they’ve seen here in another life, and because of her ostentatious, puzzling, and spellbinding personality, she’s unforgettable. on the other hand, she’s also something of a virago, due to the fact that she can be incredibly feisty when angered; but it takes quite a lot to actually set off her fuse, as she’s good at controlling which emotions she shares. for the most part, she is incredibly blasé and even-tempered. additionally, she’s is a bit of a picaro because her primary aim with her life at this point is to be independent and liberated from any and all attachments to other people. mostly, though, she’s is nothing more than a girl who’s afraid; of what, she still can’t decide.

all in all, she’s so much of everything that she isn’t quite certain of her own identity. her character is one shrouded in secrets and shadows yet alluring and sensual. but, lbr, most of all she’s just deadass terrifying. one of her defining characteristics is her desire to make things happen for her through her own abilities and determination. obstinate as all get out, she doesn’t like to own up to making mistakes so she tries to prove that she’s almost invincible to them bc she doesn’t wanna let anyone see her vulnerable, or she doesn’t want to let someone down - this refers only to those that she’s actually close to. due to her apathetic nature, all she really wants to do is let most people down – people she finds boring and useless – and have some fun because of it. however, when it comes to people she truly has allowed herself to care about, her deepest desire is for their happiness because they must be pretty damn special for making her give a shit.

still, because of her evasive tendencies, she almost always does ruin things for herself and for others, even when she actually cares. she’s like a double-edged sword; when she finds something worthwhile, she sees so much beauty and potential in it, but she’s got a midas touch. whenever she wants to obtain it or pursue it, her involvement makes everything fall to ashes, and she is afraid of her own influence. despite her tendency to run away, once she latches on and decides to be truly loyal, she’ll be devoted in such an extent that she would undoubtedly kill for them.

she can be a loudmouth whenever she actually decides to speak, constantly fabricating outlandish stories and even going off like a deranged person, but beneath her caustic and frightening exterior, isla is rather pensive. on the occasion that she chooses to offer legitimate advice, it’s usually very elaborate and composed. still, she doesn’t want people to know about capable she is, or how intelligent she can be, so she hides her rare brilliance with a tough exterior and stoic personality.

idk if you can tell but i like diving into the specifics of my character like their star signs and stuff so i searched an amy dunne mbti and tweaked it bc it really helped describe her even further! she’s a intj !

introverted intuition (ni): isla sees everything around her in a world of symbols, of metaphors, and of potential. her narration will continually be littered with predictions, with ideas about how things are going to be and what will result from this or that. despite her brashness that some may assume is impulsivity, she is a planner, anticipating new “problems” and seeking to rectify them with her own twisted brand of justice. she tries to work everything into her overall system of understanding, of her big ideas about how the world works, including her take on her various false identities she possesses for her previous job as an escort but also to mess with the minds of others around her. she’s always disappointed by how the real world is never as good as the way she imagined it; she is perfect and nothing else can catch up with her expectations.

extroverted feeling (fe): despite her aloofness, and rather lack of any sort of emotional bearing, empathy, or any sort of true feeling, isla is conscious of how others’ perceive her, of the image she’s created, and of how key that social perception is to her success, even if it’s just in her own imagination. she restrains her real opinions in order to adapt to her environment, as she’s somewhat of a chameleon, only a few have had a chance to catch the true witch beneath the crown. she’s the mistress of change, easily altering her identities in order to better fit in with new people, should the situation require it. she’s easily devastated when she reveals her real personality to others, as in the past, some that she’s left truly see her have refused to accept her twisted true-self. even though she is wholesomely selfish and self-seeking, isla is very people-focused, and applies most of her intellect and analysis onto general people-based functions, that may she can have the confidence that she has clearly manipulated and analyzed every aspect of her environment, as she needs this to feel in control.

introverted thinking (ti): as mentioned, isla is highly analytical, always trying to see the why of a scenario, what’s behind human behavior, which turns her attention to psychology and manifests in her flair for anticipating the thoughts and actions of those around her; she is so obsessed with understanding why people tick that she looks past her own slighted judgment, as she herself could easily qualify as a sociopath/psychopath. she’s always trying to fit in any new experience, or piece of information, into her pre-established system of facts, and as such is rarely ever surprised. despite her apathy and lack of care for her life or how it progresses, she’s highly organized and loves to make checklists, arrangements for the future, and methodically ticks of her obligations, one by one. while her emotions and feelings are significantly suppressed, and even nonexistent, she makes up for that human trait with a very powerful mind, one that is quick to learn and adept with languages, memorization, and logic. however, she doesn’t want anyone to know just how brilliant and quick she is, as it’s her greatest asset, thus explaining why she chose not to be a member on the intellectual team.

extroverted sensing (se): isla tends to respond her physical environment with fierce analysis, as expressed in her intellectual capabilities. she’s almost incapable of living in the moment, contrary to how people suspect she is, considering she portrays herself as impulsive and cunningly excitable. in reality, though, even when she’s crossed off everything on her checklist, she’s almost incapable of relaxing, or enjoying the world around her, as she doesn’t find things that other people find beautiful. she struggles the most with the physical side of her plans, even though she is a very physical individual. she is very open with her body and indulges with the lusts of the flesh, as she sensuality is at the same level as her wickedness. along with this, isla craves for the environment that houses her figure to be pleasant and organized, and can’t stand when things are out of order.

#tw sociopath #tw gang #if that's a thing i'm so sorry i'm kinda oblivious w triggers please someone correct me or tell me if i'm missing anything #fckit:intro #tw death #tw childhood trauma #tw prostitution #in a way #tw child abuse #tw human trafficking #could also apply i'm so sorry i'm trying to cover all the bases just in case

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monsterbrush · 6 years

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Hey there, it's the same anon who asked about Slit's love for lizards! Your headcanons were so so cool, I'd love to see more from you! I love the description of how Slit supports his male lizard buddies when they're attempting to present for a female lizard and eventually mate. This mental image made me think, though: if Slit were trying to impress someone, how would he act/what would he do? Once again, your headcanons kicked butt! Thanks so much! :D

I am thrilled you enjoy my ramblings of the crazed Lizard King! So thrilled in fact that I will take this as another opportunity to spew my headcanon thought-gush all over the place!

How does Slit impress someone??? Why, he does pushups of course! Well, maybe not pushups exactly, but regardless of his intentions, whether he’s trying to impress, flirt, or intimidate, it usually involves some display of Slit’s physical prowess. War Boys are all about physical strength and domination, to the point of toxicity, and Slit is no exception, in fact he may very well be the epitome, or something close to it. Nothing Slit does is ever without a little aggression. He is an ever-changing ratio of temptation and aggravation, and it fluctuates with his mood as much as with his environment.

This got a little long. Under the cut is a bunch (like, seriously a lot) of paragraphs of my attempts to study the bizarre social habits of the Lizard King in his natural habitat:

So Slit wants to impress somebody? Maybe that one Imperator whose crew gets all the good privileges? He’ll showcase his skills like an anole showcasing his bright red dewlap, wooing the Imperator and warding off the other War Boys with the best of his abilities to prove his worth. Like a big flashing advertisement from Before, Slit conveys his message through interpretive dance body language “Look at this! You want this! You need this! My skills are useful, LOOK! LOOK! LOOK!”, while at the same time the back of the billboard of Slit is like “Challenge at your own risk. You know you don’t want to mess with this. Messing with this will mess you up. It will make me look better. I want you to mess with me, so I can make you look worse. Do it you fucker! Make my day! FITE ME!”

Now say some other War Boy is stepping on Slit’s turf, sittin on his rock, climbing on his (lancer’s) perch? A challenger approaches! I’m sure we all remember what went down between Slit and Nux when Slit tried to step on Nux’s turf by taking his wheel. All that head bumping and growling? That was pure Slit. That was Slit’s threat display. Now, granted it didn’t work on Nux, and Slit stopped there for REASONS, but I like to imagine Slit does this to other War Boys as well, and if they hold their ground unflinchingly like Nux (which I doubt they would cuz Nux saw it coming and they probably don’t and that shit’s scary he is big and fighty), then Slit would probably escalate the situation into a full blown brawl right there and right then. At that point the victor is whoever comes out on top. Slit is big, strong, healthy, and mean, so he’s got a lot of good things going for him, but fights can be very unpredictable. These fights probably fuel someone’s gambling addiction.

Alright, so now Slit’s tryin’ ta woo somebody? Well, what kind of somebody? Doesn’t really matter to Slit right then. Unless he’s got some seriously significant motivation he’d most likely approach this sort of thing the same way he does with everything else. Hissing, growling, intense eye contact, and lots of flexing. He probably puts a lil something extra in the hips when he moves, sways a lil more, struts a lil more, banking off of what he’s best at like he would when he tries to impress an Imperator. He is an efficient, powerful machine. His billboard is now promoting a sports car to an insecure middle-aged man going through a mid-life crisis with money to spare. “You would love to get with this. Getting with this will make you look good. It will be great. You will be great, because I am great.” He might even move a little slower than he normally would, to give the object of his “affections” the chance to admire his physique, linger a little bit, like a flashy slo-mo reel of that sleek sexy sports car driving through rain in the middle of nowhere—mmm car metaphors…

All that being said, there’s probably a lot of mixed signals, misunderstandings, miscommunications… Slit’s display is equal parts a show and a warning. He’s coming for someone, he is going to get very, very physical, and they don’t always know why. A lot can go wrong. “Is he tryin’ to start somethin’? He’s tryin’ to start somethin’ isn’t he?” Slit is always DTF, be it fuck or fight. It is either one or the other, the odds are 50/50 and they’ve just used their last Before coin as shrapnel for a thunderstick. Someone might end up getting punched—probably Slit, but I cannot imagine a lil tap in the jaw would be enough to turn him off, given that he is a Nasty Lizard who just won’t quit. His off switch is dysfunctional. It is equally possible that a tap in the jaw would turn him on more. Communication is probably severely lacking among War Boys. It will take several more “taps” for Slit to get the message and back off, but I’m sure the recipient of Slit’s wooing will have probably caught on to his intentions by then and decided whether they want the wooing or not. If it is someone familiar with Slit, they will most likely catch on much sooner and (hopefully) have a technique to deter him. Nasty Lizard.

Now, clearly Slit’s sexy lil billboard is aimed at War Boys in the above scenario. They like cars, that’s why I used a car metaphor, I am a literary genius I know, bask in my glory yes har har har, I am secretly a fool. But, back to the topic at hand. This advertisement strategy won’t work on other target audiences like, shall we say, a woman recently freed from an oppressive sexually abusive tyrant, single and not all that ready to mingle, who is probably very not okay with large lizards climbing on top of them and hissing, take that for what you will.

Now, depending on if all things go as right as they possibly can in this scenario, Slit is committed to a long haul wooing and subsequent relationship with aforementioned lady, Slit must change his marketing strategy to appeal to this new audience. The benefits of this are similar to impressing an Imperator, extra privileges go to the ones on their crew but these privileges are extra, extra good, so it’s kinda like Imperators with Benefits which I’m sure Slit would be All For, and it’s probably worth rolling over for someone softer than he is.

Unfortunately this is very not easy for Slit who likes being big and bad and scary and mean. But the power of love lust must prevail! Slit cannot resist showcasing his “assets”, again he must bank on his physicality, but he must do a different sort of display, appeal to what this new target audience wants.

He is very strong and healthy. Why does she not like that? That can’t be right. Maybe he is too scary? (a very conflicting sentiment for Slit). But what if he was only scary to other people and not her? She doesn’t like it when War Boys approach her, so maybe he should stop them from approaching her because he is so scary! Yes! Genius! Such a smart lizard! Look at that impressive dewlap! The sleek sports car becomes a dependable minivan with plenty of trunk space, seats, and a heavily armored, reinforced chassis with spikes to ward of potential threats!

“Look at this!” the billboard of Slit proclaims! “Getting with this will stop anyone else from getting with you! Still not good enough? Well, getting with this will also stop other people from getting with your friends too! Now comes with a bonus feature of messing people up so you don’t have to, and I’ll throw in this complimentary knife so you can gut me if you are displeased with the product and want a refund!” If that doesn’t work, Slit is doomed to extensive, tedious, invasive, possibly painful character development, which I know we all love.

Disclaimer: these headcanons do not apply to everything. Alternate headcanons that emphasize different aspects of the Lizard King are equally valid and some will not support these musings. Things like these and differing character development can easily change the headcanons I have made, and I am totes magotes okay with that and Down To Explore alternate variations of Slit, and I used ‘totes magotes’ completely unironically because that is how passionate I am about this.

#inbox stuff #slit #mmfr #mad max #rambles of cha #mad max headcanons #my headcanons #i use car metaphors and lizard metaphors #the lizard king is a complicated creature #totes magotes okay to reblog

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a-scribbling-intruder · 8 years

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Fanfic Recs pt.1

Soo this was long overdue. I don’t really read fanfic that often, and when I do it is mostly things other people have reccomended to me. So i’ve always wanted to create my own rec list to return the favour, but somehow never got around to it. So yay years later, here’s at least a start. Will probably sort it better if i update it. Anyways if fanfic and any of these fandoms are your cup of tea, enjoy. Mostly gen and either humour or horror, it think. Fandoms included: Harry Potter, Death Note, MCU, LOTR, Sherlock Holmes, Original Fiction and weirdly, Samurai Champloo

Harry Potter (and Crossovers with Harry Potter)

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9238861/1/Applied-Cultural-Anthropology-or Applied Cultural Anthropology (Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the Cruciatus) (Hermione/Tom Riddle) Really well done, pairing is not the main focus (they’re not even together yet), instead hermione being her usual brilliant self but being sorted into slytherin. She isn’t just suddenly evil, she’s still righteous and wants to better the world. But exactly this (with a little help of a unassuming black diary) leads her down a slippery slope. (Ongoing.)

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11160991/1/0800-Rent-A-Hero 0800-Rent-A-Hero. Harry has finally gotten rid of snake-face and settled down with Teddy and Andromeda. Cue inter-dimensional space vortex opening in his living room. Summoned from his finally peaceful life by Dumbledore and the Order to solve their voldemort problem, Harry is less than pleased. But can he truly just ignore them? Grudgingly „Harry White“ accepts the free post as divination teacher at hogwarts and starts befriending his female interdimensional counterpart, Iris Potter, all while wanting to get revenge on Dumbledore and trying not to get too involved with Tonks… The beginning is a bit grizzly but overall it is definitely more on the humorous side, and also poking fun at so many fandom chliches! (Last updated 6 months ago, so there is still hope…)

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10954546/1/Framed-Fractured Framed and fractured. During the fiendfyre-incident in the Room of Requirement Harry barely escapes through some kind of black hole. Now he’s stuck as a painting in the RoR, with a surprisingly sane, young and healthy looking Tom Riddle as the only visitor. The painting only decipts a bleak room, the door is shut and strange shadows lurk in the 4th wall whenever the RoR is not used. There is also an old diary there, speaking of monsters just outside of the room… – very interesting start, tom and harry haven’t really interacted yet but the descriptions of the timelessness in the painting and the “unexplained horror” vibe are fab. (Ongoing.)

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10136762/21/ The Case of the Man who was wanted. (Harry Potter x Sherlock crossover) Harry Potter lives as a fugitive after being accused and imprisoned of a string of murders after the defeat of voldemort. Sherlock gets called to solve the case of the mysterious death of the Dursley couple in Surrey and finds known terrorist and fugitive Harry Potter inside, who, unexpectedly, claims to be innocent. Sherlock gets involved in not only the world of witchcraft and wizardry, but also in a strange man who seems kind of hollow and has many well-kept secrets… (Again, the kind of lovecraftian creepy horror vibe i love. Ongoing.)

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11115934/1/The-Shadow-of-Angmar The Shadow of Angmar. (HP x LOTR crossover) Harry gets summoned by the witch king as „the master of Death“. Broken and battered, he starts searching for a way home in an unknown world where his magic doesn’t work. Has FANTASTIC world building and a very bitter and world-weary Harry. (Ongoing)

Marvel Cinematic Universe

http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/425428 The Calculator by katsu. THIS IS MY FAVORITE FANFIC IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. Just imagine Good Omens but more superheroes-and-supervillain themed. Loki is not going full villain like in the thor movie, but instead is more of a chaotic-neutral kind of guy more keeping the supervillainery for appearance’s sake and the occasional meddling to aleviate the boredom. But then he takes the meddling a bit too far, and karme comes to bite him in the butt. Big time. I really don’t want to say more about the plot bc it is so brilliant and original. Just read it. Also, have a quote (this is only a footnote, actually, so imagine what the real fic mus be like): “yes, he had filled several little leather-bound diaries with childish scrawls of red ink that read things like, “Die Thor” and “You never really accepted me!” And then he’d attended a few sessions of primal scream therapy and taken a modern dance course at the local community college. Between finding a constructive way to express his anger and making some lovely friends that he still had tea with every Wednesday afternoon while they chatted manicures, fashion, and lap dogs, he felt much more comfortable in his own skin these days. All it had really taken was escaping the poisonously macho atmosphere of Asgard, which according to Kevin was something like living in Omaha and not being interested in Football.“

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5460221 Genesis by teaberryblue. Reluctant to make the truth about their secret weapon known, the American Government tells the world that Captain America is a man named Steve Rogers. According to public record, he died, tragically, in 1945, and he became legend.In 1998, the Avengers find a body trapped in ice. She’s alive. Her name is Eve. She has Captain America’s shield. Featuring a slightly different cast as the Avengers and brilliant discussion of gender issues, kinda whimsical-poetical writing style. (Oneshot, completed.)

Death Note

http://archiveofourown.org/works/461685 Murmur in the Shell. Light Yagami’s dead, L is dead. Yet the idea of them stays in the world, embodied by black notebooks that always will fall. History repeats, even if nobody wants to be a part of it. After all, there will always be new players. (Near, new!Kira. Really nice, jus a short ficlet about the roles we sometimes must play and the ideas of dead men we pick up along the way.) (Oneshot, completed).

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9380249/2/ Rationalising Death. Light Yagami finds the Death Note, we know the rest. But in this story, light talks all his steps through with his inner voices (like „Test It“ aka „Death“, Moral which everyone kinda ignores and also could be called Caution, or Practice). Its less cracky than it sounds now, i promise. Rather, it’s a very interesting character study bc it doesn’t just paint Kira as a sociopath with a god-complex (well, that too -) but explains his actions as being very, very human (while not excusing them). Seems to be dead at 10 chapters but i still would recommend reading it bc its brilliant, the style is a bit like hpmor’s. It explains the thought processes of everyone (L, Light, Misa, Ryuk, all that jazz)) very thoroughly and is also quite amusing (light comparing hinself to batman consantly, e.g.). But the best part is probably Misa’s characterisation (i’m not gonna spoil it for you but omg) –> https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10580913/1/Rationalising-Fiction Rationalising Fiction also check out this nice lil’ timestamp (recursive ff?) of another author wherein Misa realises she is a fictional character. Very meta, very lovely.

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/8415898/1/God-of-the-Machine God of the Machine by The Carnivourous Muffin. The OC/SI Anna Jones suddenly appears in Light Yagami’s bedroom. When you read about fictional characters they can fall kind of flat, not that they’re not interesting but you always know they’re not really like you. Light seems less scary, L less creepy and Misa… well Misa always seems insane, even in the Manga. So Anna Jones is fucking terrified, curses herself for not paying better attention to the details in the manga and has to consider her survival and the prices she’s willing to pay. (Yes, this is the Self-Insert Trope but played so well. Also very philosophical. Ongoing. Also, go read everything by this author while you’re at it.)

Other

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9915682/5/ The Last Christmas. A industrial engineer takes up the mantle of santa claus and gets some dangerous ideas about the true meaning of Christmas… (No fandom, or is that like the mythology fandom?, anyways, it’s creepy and give’s you some food for thought, although the story itself isn’t that polished. Very interesting and original take on santa claus!) (Completed.)

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/2865379/1/Nenju Nenju. Samurai Champloo. Because no anime has ever kindled a bigger need for a love triangle. This one’s fairly good and really long, with a nice dose of angst but a happy ending. (Mugen/Fuu, Jin/Fuu, Mugen/Yanusha)

#fanfic rec #fic rec #death note fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #rec list #if anyone ever reads this enjoy #how do i put a cut in this srsly #typos in abundance bc mobile #also bc english tbh #sorry for that

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erraticfairy · 5 years

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Podcast: Meet the Schizophrenic Stunt Girl and YouTuber

Rachel Star Withers is a speaker, YouTuber, and lives with schizophrenia. She is also a professional stunt woman and tends to describe herself as a “schizo stunt girl.”

In this episode, Rachel tells us a little of her history with the disease and details how she first started in mental illness activism. Originally meant to just help other people with schizophrenia know that they were not alone, her YouTube channel, RachelStarLive, has become the longest existing chronicle of a personal experience with schizophrenia. Listen Now!

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Guest information for ‘Schizophrenic Stunt Girl’ Podcast Episode

Rachel Star Withers has appeared on TV shows including MTV’s “Ridiculousness,” “TruTV,” “America’s Got Talent,” and is the host of “Insanity with Rachel Star” on Amazon Prime. She grew up seeing monsters, hearing people in the walls, and intense urges to hurt herself.

Rachel creates videos that document her schizophrenia, share ways to manage mental illness, and let others like her know they are not alone and can still live an amazing life. She has written the book, Lil Broken Star: Understanding Schizophrenia for Kids, and developed a tool for schizophrenics, To See in the Dark: Hallucination and Delusion Journal.

Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Schizophrenic Stunt Girl’ Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Announcer: Welcome to the Psych Central Podcast, where each episode features guest experts discussing psychology and mental health in everyday plain language. Here’s your host, Gabe Howard.

Gabe Howard: Hello everyone and welcome to this week’s episode of the Psych Central Show Podcast. I am here with Rachel Star Withers. She describes herself as a “schizo stunt girl” and I’m going to let her explain what that means. Rachel, welcome to the show.

Rachel Star Withers: Hey what’s up, Gabe? Welcome back. I’ve actually been here before. If you recall a few years ago?

Gabe Howard: That is true. Do you remember being here before?

Rachel Star Withers: It was such an intense time I think I might have blocked it out. Just all the excitement, it might have been overwhelming to me.

Gabe Howard: I completely understand that. So, let’s explain what schizo stunt girl means.

Rachel Star Withers: Well, I am a schizophrenic, so that is the first part of it. And the stunt girl is, I like to do crazy stunts. When I was younger, Lord, I am so old, when I was younger my like early 20s, there used to be an internet show called Homestar Runner and Wild Boys, which was a spin off Jackass, which was on TV and they did stupid stunts and then there was this like new thing like Internet entertainment was really new and I was like, what if somebody did stupid stunts, but on an internet show? Bam! And I became stunt girl and have pretty much since then been doing crazy stuff. I topless skydive, bikini paintball, wrestle alligators. It was very humane for those who just like had a heart attack about animal stuff, like it is actually at a rescue center. It wasn’t just a circus thing. I get a lot of feedback about that, but yeah, just like pretty much crazy things that. I’m really big into fire; setting myself on fire, blowing fireballs. Pretty much anything I could find to do with fire.

Gabe Howard: So you sort of helped pioneer the fail movement. I think a lot of people are familiar with these stunts on the Internet like Fail Blog

Rachel Star Withers: Yes.

Gabe Howard: Except the Fail Blog is they did it accidentally and you’re more

Rachel Star Withers: Did they?

Gabe Howard: On purpose.

Rachel Star Withers: Did they?

Gabe Howard: Did they. But you know you say that you like doing crazy things and you put it on the internet, but that’s not the whole story because you’ve also been in Marvel movies. You’re an actual Hollywood stuntwoman.

Rachel Star Withers: I try to be. I have all the training and those jobs are just so hard to get. And you would think they would be impressed by alligator wrestling on your resumé. They are not. I mean I’m impressed by it.

Gabe Howard: You were in Black Panther. You were literally in Black Panther.

Rachel Star Withers: Yes, I got exploded.

Gabe Howard: You got exploded?

Rachel Star Withers: Yes.

Gabe Howard: In Black Panther, and you can see your face.

Rachel Star Withers: Yes, it is unfortunate.

Gabe Howard: Like, if you actually go to the movie, you’re on screen for like three seconds.

Rachel Star Withers: It is a very long few seconds of my life as I’m making a weird stank face. I don’t know guys. I don’t know if you watch it. It’s very easy to pick me out. I’m the one making this horrible stank face for a disturbingly long amount of time staring at the main characters. And then there’s an explosion.

Gabe Howard: I think this is an absolutely fascinating psychological trick that we do because before you were in Black Panther, you were probably like oh man I would do anything to be in Black Panther and now that you were in the movie you were like oh I stank face. Not good at all.

Rachel Star Withers: I mean, I’m so excited I got it. But you should see. When like that came out, I mean everyone saw that movie everybody and I’m getting these texts from people I haven’t talked to in like six years be like Oh my God Rachel. There’s someone in Black Panther who looks just like you. And I’m like hurtful because I think I look terrible. And so you haven’t seen me in all these years but you recognize me in this I’m like so hurtful that is how I apparently looked in five years ago and still look. It’s rough on the self-esteem.

Gabe Howard: Well, I’m just going to focus on you being in a Marvel movie. But the question that I have is you do live with schizophrenia and you live publicly. You know this. This isn’t a secret you have a very popular YouTube channel. YouTube.com/RachelStarLive where not only do you put the stunt work but you also make videos about your journey and living with schizophrenia. So this is not a secret. Everybody knows it. Rachel Star lives with schizophrenia and also everybody knows that Rachel Star likes to set herself on fire and wrestle alligators.

Rachel Star Withers: I would hope so.

Gabe Howard: Do you have a problem getting jobs because of this? Are people worried about hiring somebody with schizophrenia to do a job that really is dangerous.? I know that there’s safety. You know there are safety precautions and things in place but I don’t think anybody would deny that being a stunt person is a dangerous job to do. People who hire, do they have a problem with that, or are they worried about the schizophrenia dangerous connection?

Rachel Star Withers: I am very careful to keep like certain parts more professional than others so when I am at a situation where I have to apply I have to send in a resumé. Yes. If they google me it’ll be like probably the first thing that comes up and I understand that. But it’s definitely not like on the top of my resume. When I am you know submitting to get exploded and to be set on fire by other people because they don’t want, you know for insurance purposes, someone who really doesn’t know what they’re doing. However when it comes to my own stuff, whenever somebody comes to me and says Rachel we want you to create content for us I’m very upfront about it and you’re asking for me. You’re going to get me. I’m not going to sugarcoat anything.

Gabe Howard: If you can sort of go further on this because you’re very aware of the stigma of living with schizophrenia because like you said when you apply for a job while you’re not hiding it you’re not volunteering it. And we have other examples of this in society. You know I’m sure that women don’t volunteer if they have children or if they’re pregnant or if they want to get pregnant so that it’s not unheard of to not volunteer information that you think might keep you from getting a job. But this is kind of a personal one, right? I mean you’re very open about living with schizophrenia. So I mean could you just talk about that a little bit because it just it seems very meaningful that you’d have to do this too. Do you wrestle with it and is it harder to wrestle with that than alligators?

Rachel Star Withers: You know the alligators are kind of scary. I’m a, I was kind of I was, I was shaking and that’s how you know I’m scared is if you see me shaking and you really don’t want to shake trying to wrestle alligators. Your hands are very important like they were like whoa step back. We’re kind of afraid you’re going to lose your hands if you don’t get under control and I’m like No I’m good. But as far as wrestling stigma, when I first found out I had schizophrenia I thought pretty much like most people think oh my gosh I don’t know what this is. I don’t want anybody to know. I was a shamed. I didn’t know how to tell my family; I didn’t even want my little brother to know. I just was trying to keep everything on a need to know basis with a few people and I felt so alone. Rewind back to like 14 years ago. There was not as much stuff on the Internet as there is today. You know you didn’t have all these You Tubers, you didn’t have just normal people talking about it. If you looked up schizophrenia, you had references to old movies like One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, that kind of thing. And like these cold medical articles. You didn’t have anything real and reassuring and it kind of got to the point that I was like I don’t want other people to feel like I do because there have to be other people that are finding out they have schizophrenia going on the Internet and being like, “Oh wow. I’m alone.” But here I am alone over here also. So let me make a video. So I started with normal living with schizophrenia and I was like I don’t know if anybody is going to see this thing. And looking back now on it I cringe so so much. I cannot stand myself in it. I’m like, “Oh my God, you’re so dramatic Rachel. Like you don’t even know how bad it’s about to get. That was nothing back then. Come on.”

Gabe Howard: And you started this how many years ago?

Rachel Star Withers: 14 years ago.

Gabe Howard: 14 years ago. And I believe at one point you got an email from a university that said that you had maybe created, do you know what I’m talking about?

Rachel Star Withers: Yes. Mm hmm. So that started with that first video and I just kind of started making more. Documenting me and my schizophrenia and I talked about hallucinations and delusions and I just kind of kept this going and I actually started getting these messages from college students and they were saying, “Hey we’re studying you in class. And for extra credit, I thought I’d reach out to you and interview you myself.” And I’m like What? Like I had no idea. And that’s really freaky especially if you’re schizophrenic to be told hey there’s people studying you that you don’t know about. There’s a class and you’re like What? So it was a little unnerving at first. Also kind of cool and I reached out to the professor. It’s like Hey so I heard. And then I get like messages from Cambridge and Harvard and like all these other schools that pretty much for doing the exact same thing. And what I had done, not even realizing it, is I’d created one of the longest video documentations of a schizophrenic. Like they had tons of documentations, but not to this in depth. And I had just done that documenting my own life, not realizing like oh this hasn’t really been done before because no one had access to cameras like we do now in this age. So here I have yeah. You can like watch me. I don’t want to say grow as a little schizophrenic but you definitely. Yeah. You see like me go through multiple, you know, things and where now I’m like so confident and in the beginning you know I’m like you know on the edge tears over the littlest thing. You know the littlest horrible hallucination when I’m like Oh yeah yeah yeah I mean I’m used to that. I see you know demons all the time now. They’re chillin.

Gabe Howard: But that’s kind of an interesting thing that you brought up. You know 14 years ago you probably didn’t understand it very well and the viewer who’s watching this kind of grows with you. So my question is what was the difference between the hallucinations that you experienced 14 years ago and any symptoms or hallucinations that you may experience today? I mean what can you kind of walk us through? You know so we don’t have to watch 14 years worth of videos. Can you give us the Reader’s Digest slash BuzzFeed version of that?

Rachel Star Withers: I think the 14 years of videos is incredible for anyone to watch. Just kidding I wouldn’t.

Gabe Howard: I mean we’re busy.

Rachel Star Withers: Just get the top viewed ones.

Gabe Howard: We’re busy, Rachel.

Rachel Star Withers: Well, get the top rated, not the top viewed. Okay. Let’s just get the quick version. When I look back I definitely I mean it’s not that my hallucinations have ever lessened. I would say I am way worse. Not way worse as in sick, way worse is I have a lot more symptoms of schizophrenia now than I did even five years ago. It’s one thing that you always hear people kind of say and I know they mean well but oh you’re going to get better, things get better. And the truth is for me, if you look back over my videos they have not. Things have gotten so much worse but I’ve gotten stronger and the stuff that like used to bother me a couple of years ago are nothing today. You know I had all of this bad stuff happening. Yeah I was terrified out of my mind of these monsters. I couldn’t sleep at night with the lights off and now I mean I see them all the time and they don’t bother me because I’m used to them. So it’s one thing I always try and push that if you’re out there I cannot promise you that things will get better. And honestly I don’t think they will. But what happens is you get stronger and that’s the most incredible thing ever and I think it’s way better than your stuff going away to be able to look and be like Oh that’s nothing. And when you get to that point that’s when you can actually start to help others.

Gabe Howard: To clarify a little bit you’re not saying that your life doesn’t get better. You’re saying that your symptoms stayed relatively the same but you got better at managing them and handling them.

Rachel Star Withers: Mm hmm. Yes

Gabe Howard: And working around them so that you could lead the best life possible. So while the symptoms may not have improved and again everybody’s results may vary.

Rachel Star Withers: Yes, everybody’s different. I mean it’s not like I’ve been on just a constant line of the same you know they’ve spiked. I’ve gotten at points where I thought Hey I’m cured I don’t have any schizophrenia. And then I’ll go off my meds and that is wrong. That is we learn very quickly. No Rachel you were just kind of we’re very happy and very good on meds for a little bit there. Don’t do that kids.

Gabe Howard: Not a good idea but we’ll be right back after these words from our sponsor.

Announcer: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counseling. Our counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face to face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counseling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Gabe Howard: We’re back talking with Rachel Star Withers. It’s fascinating to listen to you discuss schizophrenia because I think a lot of people they really have this very narrow stereotype of schizophrenia. And one of the largest stereotypes in schizophrenia is the rocking back and forth, the drooling, the shaking legs.

Rachel Star Withers: I say as my knee is like shaking out of control as we’re sitting here, yeah.

Gabe Howard: But I’ve come to understand that some of those stereotypical symptoms that we all think of that have to do with schizophrenia are actually part of the treatment of schizophrenia. And you did a really cool video on that and kind of explain it. Can can you explain that for us now?

Rachel Star Withers: Yes, especially when it comes to the shaking. So one of the side effects of many mental health medications is tardive dyskinesia which is basically a drug induced form of Parkinson’s. And now they have medicines you can actually take to control the tardive dyskinesia that’s been caused by the other medication. And it’s just like Oh great. Now just because you take medication does not mean that you’ll start shaking. So please do not think that. It’s just a random side effect that yes some people will get from different mental health medications.

Gabe Howard: And the newer medications don’t have this particular side effect.

Rachel Star Withers: Yes. This is for the older medications.

Gabe Howard: They’ve learned a lot. They’ve made it safer.

Rachel Star Withers: But we know what it is you just kinda shake and sometimes it’s pretty bad. And other times I’m like not shaking at all but I’ll get to a point where I’m like out with friends and because I’m like at a restaurant I’m using their silverware. I have a hard time holding the silverware. Whereas I’m at home I have like forks and stuff with big handles and you’re like, “Rachel, just bring those forks to restaurants.” That is the goal. But I never remember. Everyone’s just like oh it’s such an easy cure. Like yeah no I know but you try and remember these forks. It’s actually harder than you think and then you’re like pulling knives out your bag and be like OK.

Gabe Howard: I love your sense of humor about this because often when we talk about schizophrenia we talk about it in the scariest of terms ,the most medical of terms and I think we do realize that you know having serious and persistent mental illness or just being sick in general is not a happy time. How do you put those two things together? Because I have to imagine that you don’t want to have schizophrenia but you also don’t want to have a bad life. You want to be happy and jovial and you also want to inspire hope in others but that’s kind of a tall order. Hey be happy about living with schizophrenia seems like a ridiculous thing to say but essentially that is what your advocacy is doing. Can you talk about that a little bit?

Rachel Star Withers: Yes, and I get messages from people that are very angry and a lot of them it’s just they’re very hurt because they’ve lost someone in their life who had schizophrenia due to suicide or kind of situations around and they’re like how do can you make these videos you make light of this? This isn’t a joking matter. And I on one side I agree with them you know and I understand that pain. I have and I constantly deal with these urges to hurt and kill myself my whole life. They’ve gotten a little less but it’s always like something sitting there in the back of my mind. However, I can’t change this. I can do my best to manage it. I can take medication. I go to therapy but at the end of the day there is no cure for schizophrenia. I’ve had it since I was like a little baby. I assume so at least since I was like talking, I was talking to nothingness. So we know from that point on but I assume a little baby Rachel was trippin when it popped out. But I can’t change this. So my options then in life are to pretty much give up and just be sad and depressed like well I have this horrible mental illness. Man I just really got to go sit in the corner and give up on life because yes sucks to be me or I can look at it and think OK this is what it is. Let’s go. Let’s go do what I want to do and yeah I’m going to have to make adjustments but that’s OK and for me I like the second of those two options. Honestly throughout my life yes I have chose the first one sometimes where I’m just overwhelmed and I’m just like I just want to give up. I’ve had suicide attempts and things like that like. It has absolutely happened that I did not see any light and it was all darkness. And I’m lucky that I have a very strong support system and different things that have helped me through those times. So it’s also not just one or the other. But my media, I try to keep upbeat. And if you google schizophrenia right now you’re going to get a lot of not upbeat stuff. You know if you do schizophrenia facts you’re going to hear about the homeless rate, the suicide rates, like all these really depressing mortality rates of schizophrenics. And I was like I don’t want other people to just find that. So I did this one video. Fun Facts About Schizophrenia and which I just thought were fascinating about how the brain works and how people mental disorders brains work differently than the norm and I was like these kind of cool but rather useless super powers that we have. I was like yes I knew I was an X-Man but the ones when they leave back at the command center because they cannot help in any way. You know? You’re stuck there with Jubilee and you’re like Oh my God you’re the baby sitter of all the useless X-Men. But I was like yes, I totally have superpowers. This is so cool.

Gabe Howard: I completely understand what you’re saying and you’re right. There’s is no shortage of hopeless scary information and that information has a lot of value.

Rachel Star Withers: Oh absolutely.

Gabe Howard: You’re not you’re not trying to erase that from the Internet.

Rachel Star Withers: No.

Gabe Howard: You’re just trying to balance out the conversation.

Rachel Star Withers: I want people to not just feel okay I got this diagnosis of schizophrenia and all hope is lost. I just I don’t want that I want you to be able to be like oh OK here’s one person that knows they’re not perfect. I definitely document me being very depressed and things like that, but you have all these videos of her and she’s able to keep going and that’s not like a gold star in my head because I even have to look at other people’s videos. I have to look at other people’s writings and stuff when I get down and I think as a collective community though, that helps all of us keep going.

Gabe Howard: I really really like that. That’s really really awesome. You have recently launched a podcast here on Psych Central, It’s bonus content for Psych Central Podcast fans. It’s called Inside Schizophrenia. You might hear a familiar voice on there because I help. But tell us about that. What is Inside Schizophrenia?

Rachel Star Withers: Inside schizophrenia. So it’s a podcast similar to this one except way cooler because it’s all me. I’m just kidding. No it’s really interesting. And it was an exciting project for me to get to do because we have about 45 minutes to really delve into some kinda hot button subjects on schizophrenia. Some that I haven’t been able to hit on because my videos are much shorter and upbeat but to be able to actually have a discussion you know between me and Gabe, and to bring in experts about you know looking at some of the darker sides but the realities. So for instance, violence in schizophrenia. Dealing with hallucinations. The caregivers that are involved sometimes when you have you can’t take care of yourself. So kind of like those areas that are not fun to talk about being able to kind of look in and say OK what is the reality here? What goes on behind the scenes, you know? Whereas if someone has, I have a brother, I have a son, I have a sister, I have a close friend that I’m finding I have schizophrenia. What can I really do to help? What can I like really dig in there and you know do and learn about this disorder and for people? I’ve been learning so much. Me just doing the podcast, it blows my mind. And to learn things about like my mental disorder I didn’t know really helps me manage cause I’m just like oh wow that’s really cool. More useless but cool superpowers.

Gabe Howard: The first episode is out now and it’s called What Is Schizophrenia? And it certainly contains you know facts about schizophrenia. The definition of schizophrenia. Your lived experience, Rachel, with schizophrenia, some personal stories and then of course it also has Dr. Ali Mattu from The Psych Show, a popular YouTube channel and he is a researcher from Columbia University and he gives us all of the medical facts so at the end of the show like you said it’s a pretty good deep dive into all facets of what is schizophrenia not just like you know a paragraph on Google where it’s like oh you know everything.

Rachel Star Withers: Yeah. And it’s not just me talking it’s kind of going into exploring different things that lots of people with schizophrenia have.

Gabe Howard: You know sometimes people hear about podcasts that are deep dives and I think oh you know it’s an educational show so it’s really really heavy on facts and I’m going to be bored. But then some people hear Oh it’s an entertaining show so they think oh it’s fake news. It has no relevance. It’s just somebody rambling on about their personal experience. How does this show sort of bridge those two gaps?

Rachel Star Withers: Well I don’t do well being serious for more than about a minute at a time. And then I have to like break it up and then I can go back to serious. So I like to think it’s I’m teaching you things but it’s fun. So it kind of like an after school special like that’s just wow you can consider this like hey I want to learn something. But I don’t just want to listen to some person talk for the next hour and you want to get involved and have a good time. That’s where I am and then bam look at that she learned all this stuff you didn’t know.

Gabe Howard: That’s very very cool. When I was in school I had a science teacher that said pay attention and you might accidentally learn something. I think that if you listen to the show you will absolutely learn something and whether it’s an accident or not is really up to the listener. Thank you, Rachel, very much for being on the show and thanks to all of you for tuning in. Remember wherever you downloaded this podcast whether it be iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, or otherwise, give us as many stars as humanly possible. Use your words and write us a review. Share us on social media. Email us to your friends. We’re trying to get a giant advertising budget but until we are in a Marvel movie, we’re just stuck where we are.

And also remember you can get one week of free, convenient, affordable, private online counselling anytime anywhere just by visiting BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral. We’ll see everybody next week.

Announcer: You’ve been listening to the Psych Central Podcast. Previous episodes can be found at PsychCentral.com/Show or on your favorite podcast player. To learn more about our host, Gabe Howard, please visit his website at GabeHoward.com. PsychCentral.com is the internet’s oldest and largest independent mental health website run by mental health professionals. Overseen by Dr. John Grohol, PsychCentral.com offers trusted resources and quizzes to help answer your questions about mental health, personality, psychotherapy, and more. Please visit us today at PsychCentral.com. If you have feedback about the show, please email [email protected]. Thank you for listening and please share widely.

About The Psych Central Podcast Host

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar and anxiety disorders. He is also one of the co-hosts of the popular show, A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. As a speaker, he travels nationally and is available to make your event stand out. To work with Gabe, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.

from World of Psychology http://bit.ly/2K4kvuL via theshiningmind.com

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