#also contains Pete's backstory!

[adventuretimetournament]

Adventure Time Skippable Episodes Tournament - Prequel

Welcome to what will be a tournament for the best "skippable" episode of Adventure Time! Before beginning, we need to decide which episodes count as skippable. There is a lot of debate about this, so I'd like some input before starting. This list came from Reddit user reapertuesday's reduced viewing guide and includes some episodes they marked as recommended.

The full list is under the cut. Before going over it, some Q&A:

Why call them skippable episodes? Why not filler or non-canon?

"Filler" refers to episodes that are made in order to prolong an adaptation of a source material. Adventure Time is an original creation, not based on a specific existing story, so there is no filler. In the same way, no episodes are "non-canon" unless specifically declared so by the crew.

So what defines a skippable episode?

To me, a skippable episode is any episode that does not:

Introduce a recurring character or item (e.g. Finn's various swords)*

Relate to a larger character development/arc/backstory or overarching plot point

Generally get a mention in any other episode

*A character introduced in one of these episodes may have a cameo in required episodes. However, if their presence isn't confusing even without watching their introduction episode, their intro episode may still be on the list. For example, Party God shows up at Prismo's party in S6 E1, but several other characters we don't know are also present, so it's not unusual even if you skipped his previous appearances.

Where are the Graybles, Fionna and Cake, and guest-animated episodes?

I consider these episodes to be kind of their own thing, contained in their own universe or singular episode. I know F&C have their own show now, but this list is specifically for watching Adventure Time proper, not any follow-up or spin-off material. Plus, at least one of the guest-animated episodes is considered genuinely non-canon, and I do want this list to have only canon episodes.

This episode isn't skippable, it's one of my favorites!

An episode being skippable doesn't mean it's not good - some of my favorite episodes are in this list. It just means that a first-time viewer can choose not to watch the episode and not be confused by anything later.

That being said, here is the list. Please reply in some form if you think an episode on here is required viewing (and explain why), or if you think I missed an episode. I'll give it one week before creating the bracket.

S1, E6: The Jiggler

S1, E8: Business Time

S1, E11: Wizard

S1, E13: City of Thieves

S1, E14: The Witch’s Garden

S1, E17: Wedding Bells Thaw

S1, E18: Dungeon

S1, E19: The Duke

S1, E21: Donny

S1, E23: Rainy Day Daydream

S1, E26: Gut Grinder

S2, E2: The Eyes

S2, E3: Loyalty to the King

S2, E4: Blood Under the Skin

S2, E5: Storytelling

S2, E6: Slow Love

S2, E7: Power Animal

S2, E9: The Other Tarts

S2, E13: The Pods

S2, E21: Belly of the Beast

S2, E26: Heat Signature

S3, E1: Conquest of Cuteness

S3, E4: Hitman

S3, E7: Still

S3, E13: From Bad to Worse

S3, E15: No One Can Hear You

S3, E16: Jake vs Me-Mow

S3, E17: Thank You

S3, E18: The New Frontier

S3, E21: Marceline’s Closet

S3, E22: Paper Pete

S3, E23: Another Way

S3, E24: Ghost Princess

S4, E3: Web Weirdos

S4, E8: Hug Wolf

S4, E9: Princess Monster Wife

S4, E11: Beyond this Earthly Realm

S4, E12: Gotcha!

S4, E14: Princess Cookie

S4, E17: BMO Noire

S4, E21: Who Would Win

S4, E23: The Hard Easy

S4, E24: Reign of Gunters

S5, E4: Up a Tree

S5, E5: All the Little People

S5, E7: Davey

S5, E8: Mystery Dungeon

S5, E10: Little Dude

S5, E17: BMO Lost

S5, E18: Princess Potluck

S5, E19: James Baxter the Horse

S5, E20: Shh!

S5, E21: The Suitor

S5, E22: The Party’s Over, Isla de Senorita

S5, E25: Candy Streets

S5, E27: Jake Suit

S5, E33: Time Sandwich

S5, E37: Box Prince

S5, E39: We Fixed a Truck

S5, E49: Bad Timing

S6, E5: Sad Face

S6, E8: Furniture & Meat

S6, E11: Little Brother

S6, E13: Thanks for the Crabapples, Giuseppe

S6, E14: Princess Day

S6, E15: Nemesis

S6, E17: Ghost Fly

S6, E18: Everything’s Jake

S6, E20: Jake the Brick

S6, E21: Dentist

S6, E31: Walnuts & Rain

S6, E32: Friends Forever

S6, E34: Chips & Ice Cream

S7, E4: Mama Said

S7, E5: Football

S7, E16: Angel Face

S7, E17: President Porpoise is Missing

S7, E18: Blank Eyed Girl

S7, E21: Scamps

S7, E25: The Thin Yellow Line

S8, E2: Don’t Look

S8, E18: Horse and Ball

[loveydoveylex]

NEW R&C SELF INSERT YAY!!! i might change up their design a lil later i like it generally but i wanna fix up some details :3c

more lore/backstory on them below the cut because it got a bit long HAHA they're introduced in tools of destruction!

Lex - formerly A.L.E.X.U.S, All-encompassing Lifeform Eradication and Extermination Unit Sigma, though they will probably attack you if you try to call them by their old name - is a rogue robot rebel formerly serving as a security guard in the Hall of Knowledge on Planet Kortog. Ratchet and Clank crossed paths with them when they were attempting to infiltrate said area.

As a security guard, their job was to eliminate and destroy all life that attempted to trespass into the building - they had one instruction and one instruction alone: destroy. However, with the power of friendship (there was not a lot of friendship, it was mostly bullets and many close near-death calls), Clank managed to overwrite their system data, letting them "break free" from their programming. Now a rogue robot who would have been otherwise turned into scrap metal by Emperor Tachyon, they tagged along with Ratchet and Clank in an escape pod to Planet Fastoon.

Despite looking weak and thin, Lex is armed with multiple built-in security cameras and a Grummelnet blaster containing firepower equivelant to that of the Negotiator. Along with this, they are also equipped with hoverboot technology, making them fast both on land and in the air.

Curious about life, they are still searching for an identity in the world - for the time being, they have found home with Talwyn, Cronk, and Zephyr on the Apogee Space Station. They also seem to cross paths with Captain Slag's pirate crew quite often, who, surprisingly, have not made any strong attempts to kill or otherwise harm them… is that drunken first mate, Rusty Pete, slacking on the job again?

[raelle-writing]

Chapters: 4/5 Fandom: รักโคตรร้ายสุดท้ายโคตรรัก | KinnPorsche: The Series (TV) Series: Part 5 of Love & Blood

Summary:

They left the town behind and walked up a hill that overlooked the river, taking a well-trod path of cobblestones worn down by many pairs of feet. Pete still carried the bouquet in his arm, holding Vegas’ hand tightly with the other, and Vegas started to have a suspicion of just where they were going, based on the location and the white flowers.

And that suspicion turned to certainty as they crested the top of the hill, and it revealed a small, quaint, well-maintained little graveyard. Trees lined each side, providing shade from the heat of the afternoon. The cobblestone path wound through the headstones, leading to a look out point on the very end with a flower bush, a bench, and a patch of grass.

Pete tugged on Vegas’ hand. “Come on, now.”

Vegas trailed after him, glancing around at the little gravestones of the people who went before them. Each was small and neat, and many had little offerings on them, even now. Flowers or incense were most common.

Pete reached a row toward the middle of the grave patch and took a right, stepping out onto the grass. Vegas followed, their hands still intertwined. His eyes scanned over the headstones, looking for a familiar name, a name he now knew they were looking for – ah, there it was.

Pete came to a stop in front of a neat, tidy, modest little headstone that read out the name of “Prae Kanchana Saengtham” then shot Vegas a smile. “Vegas, meet my mom.”

Read more

[missrubybird]

TS4 Cottage Living Sims Part 2

Here are some more country folk to populate Henford-on-Bagley! Thank you again to the EA Game Changer Program for making this content possible! All these Sims have backstories which intertwine with each other and those of the Sims of Part 1.

Below the cut you’ll find:

Individual Download Links for the Sims

As well as a Zip File containing all the Sims

Sims’ Backstories and Traits

CC Links

All Sims have all 8 Outfits using only CL and Basegame except for those Sims with pets, those require Cats&Dogs as well, obvs..

Note: There is CC included in the Download Files, make sure to put it in your Mods Folder along with the CC linked below! ♥️

Have fun!   🐮 ♥️ 🐇 ♥️ 🐥  

CC LINKS:  Lashes // Skintone // SkinDetails // Jake’s Glasses

Credits: @cienzroza @kijiko-sims @annamsblue @pyxiidis @tamo-sim @squeamishsims @berryconfetti @vibrantpixels @vegantrait @rheallsim @simbience Thank you to @maxismatchccworld for reblogging ♥️

Note: You need the No EA Eyelashes Mod by Cienzroza for the Sims to look exactly like they do in the pictures!

➞ Cottage Living Sims Part 1

DOWNLOAD ALL SIMS HERE or individual Links below

Sim Links from Top to Bottom:

Melanie Koenig

YA // Quick Learner // Cheerful // Bookworm // Clumsy

You might think that being the local nerdy librarian and a former teacher’s pet (which her peers always resented her a bit for) means life wasn’t always easy for Melanie. Granted, she is one smart cookie but her people skills never were the best. And yet, while Melanie definitely is a bit awkward, she also has a very sunny disposition and there is very little that can dampen her spirits. She loves reading and has a huge collection of books that she adds to regularly, although the classics are her favorite. And she does prefer watching old Hollywood films on her couch with Pete her cat but every once in a blue moon when Melanie closes the library for the night, she lets Milly and Sabina drag her to the pub for a spot of karaoke.

Bella Teeluck

YA // Quick Learner // Music Lover // Childish // Neat

Bella, like Melanie, was always a good student but what Melanie lacks in people skills, Bella has in abundance. She’s especially popular with the elementary students she teaches because she starts every lesson with a song and she’s never lost the joy of playing with kids’ toys. Bella loves children and they love her because they sense that Bella is still a kid at heart. Music is very important to her and she will often get out the guitar and play pop songs while her nb kid Robin dances and sings along. And sometimes, when he has closed up the shop, Bella’s brother Jonas comes over and joins in, to the great joy of Robin, because Jonas always brings along a new children’s book.

Jake Rowland

YA // Essence of Flavor // Lazy // Bookworm // Jealous

Oh, Jake.. See, here’s the thing with Jake: Jake is majorly in love with Jonas, the local what’sitshop owner, and they have been on and off for a while but Jonas is just a bit too much of a free spirit to believe in monogamy, much to the dismay of Jake, who, let’s be honest, wants Jonas all to himself. And it could all be so perfect, because they both love to cook and they share a great passion for a good story. But Jonas can’t quite be tied down and Jake spends a lot of his time thinking of ways to convince his friend to settle down together (although Jake does like living with his sister Milly because she doesn’t mind when he slacks on his chores.. yet again). Oh, and Jake is not at all too keen on the looks that newcomer Cai is giving Jonas every time he visits the shop!

Kamilah Sabry

Adult // Domestic // Self-Assured // Ambitious // Family-Oriented

Kamilah is the proud mom of recent university graduate Cai and she’s the mayor of Henford-on-Bagley where many say she’s the best mayor the little town has ever seen. Kamilah is a power house and a doer and ‘impossible’ is not in her vocabulary! There is a lot to be done and, by golly, will it be done, if it weren’t for a certain prominent senior Henford-on-Bagley citizen, the formidable Lilly Lindgren, who seems to fancy herself a bit of a deputy mayor. The two can often be seen around town, with Lilly talking to or rather at Kamilah, giving her (unsolicited) advice and telling her how things should or shouldn’t be run and if Kamilah weren’t such a diplomat, she might just tell Lilly to shove it where the sun.. flowers don’t grow.

Prof. Saatvik Acharya

Elder // Gregarious // Cheerful // Genius // Perfectionist

Ah, yes, what would Henford-on-Bagley be without Professor Acharya, another one of the town’s staples. He still holds the occasional lecture at Britechester University but these days he prefers working in his lush garden where he cultivates the most exquisite roses, envy of many a hobby botanist around, and where he can be found playing chess and contemplating the meaning of life with Sabina or Herbert on many a lazy afternoon. Saatvik has a witty and warm sense of humor and even reclusive Delphine doesn’t mind when he comes by to chat about her roses, not only because Saatvik is so charming but also because he’s gentleman enough to leave a lady’s secrets alone. Quite unlike Lilly, who is always on everybody’s case but Saatvik and Delphine alike know well enough to hide behind their rose bushes when Lilly comes by.

Herbert Birch

YA // Muser // Gloomy // Foodie // Lactose Intolerant

Poor Herbert. Life really did a number on him when it made him lactose intolerant because, see, Herbert is a dairy farmer like his parents before him and their parents before.. you get the drift. Herbert only found out recently about his affliction but at least now he knows why he’s always been so, uhm, bloated. It’s a bit of a tragedy because Herbert loves blue cheese like no one else but he also likes writing poems ~ Herbert is a bit of a sensitive soul ~ and dreams of publishing them as none of his friends have the heart to tell him that they’re not very good. So, clueless Herbert milks his cows, composing in his mind a poem to win over Rosa, the pretty girl with the raven hair and the strawberry earrings. Maybe his friend Milly can put in a good word for him! 

Sabina Buckland

YA // Collector // Animal Enthusiast // Vegetarian // Outgoing

Sabina is a true child of nature, she lives at the edge of the forest and will often be found wandering the woods, talking to the animals and collecting what nature has to offer. You might think she’s a loner but Sabina loves people and she will always stop by the Prof’s cottage for a casual musing about the universe and how the stars are aligning that day, cheer up Herbert as he fusses over his newest tragic poem and have some coffee with Jonas who she sells the crystals and fossils to that she finds on her wanderings. Yet, for all her approachability there is something a little mysterious about Sabina and the town folk sure wonder why the mushrooms around her little house grow so abnormally large, winning the Finchwick Fair Competition five years in a row!

Note: There is CC included in the Download Files, make sure to put it in your Mods Folder along with the CC linked above!

[greatyme]

I had written a post that Vegas & Pete’s relationship remind me of femininity and I was asked to elaborate more so here I go!

(Warning that I’ll mention things like rape and torture here btw!)

First I should clarify that when I say feminine, I don’t mean girly. Instead I’m referring to a certain genre of women’s sexual fantasies.

These are the transgressive fantasies, which contain things like rape or torture and so on. Of course, when people fantasize about these things it’s not because they want it happening to them in real life but in a sexual setting there can be a multitude of reasons why they’re pleasurable.

Anyone can have a transgressive fantasy, but these specific types about rape or force are interesting when it comes to women. Historically women have been/are shamed for expressing their sexuality, and one reason behind why they might have these fantasies is because it takes away the fault for women to be sexual. If you’re in a setting where someone’s forcing you do to something, then you can’t be to blame for partaking in it (whether you enjoy it or not)! In the book My Secret Garden: Women’s Sexual Fantasies it’s worded nicely like this:

So in the same way the woman can’t be blamed, Pete can’t be to blame for being in a setting where he’s forced to do something (something he also enjoys). Although Pete hasn’t been raped (yet? lol), his situation is the fantasy that women might put themselves in.

Maybe it’s just me but certain shots where Pete’s meant to be tortured look awfully sexual as well. I mean… he’s (nearly) naked…. Vegas even attempts to assault him + does other vaguely sexual things to him… you get it. It’s not something he should enjoy but he does. His face betrays him so obviously here lol

And he’ll continue to betray what he “should” do even more as he falls for Vegas.

Fans of vegaspete have talked about Pete’s masochism quite a bit in different variation which reminds me of another paragraph from My Secret Garden that I came across trying to find the previous one:

In this case Pete might be similar to the women in the earlier part of the paragraph. Rather than having the “choice” to fantasize about this, he’s put in a situation where someone has more power over him, a situation resembling these fantasies. I’ve also been focusing mainly on Pete in this thought, but on the other end there’s Vegas which might fit the fantasy of wanting to dominate in some way, to have power over someone else. Which could be the other direction that the book refers to, but admittedly like I said I’ve given that aspect less thought.

It’s also interesting to think about the audience then. Like why someone might like vegaspete less because they dislike the content rather than focusing on the emotion it evokes. The show (& novel) certainly makes it more complex too because Pete is a compassionate character and we’re given Vegas’ backstory to care about him more etc. so their relationship isn’t just sexual of course, nor is it meant to be viewed solely as one.

In fact, I understand why I’ve seen people say they even want to ignore that Vegas was likely about to rape Pete or are excited about a consenting relationship between them and so on. Even BOC understands this and has changed the relationship from the novel so it’s not as “bad” because it’s harder to root for someone/a couple who keeps doing bad things. It’s a different “better” perspective morally, but it also contradicts this fantasy which isn’t about morals but instead about feeling. Still, that aspect is just so noticeably reminiscent of these types of fantasies that women have to me.

Anyway, I generally find human sexuality really interesting so I think it’s fun to look at them at this angle. Thank you to @fanfictionroxs & @sunsoothed for asking me to expand! I’d be interested to hear other people’s thoughts on this as well :-)

[darylwillfightnatureforcarol]

Just finished watching the rest of the episodes. Obviously, there will be spoilers for all of the bonus episodes, including Here's Negan. Here's my thoughts. WARNING for some negativity:

Home Sweet Home:

Kind of a blah episode. Half of it seemed to be a 'walking in the woods simulator'. Don't have any eagerness for another rival group. I'm sick of the people vs people storylines. We should go back to basics for a while, just fighting the dead. This is just recycling the same storylines.

Enjoyed Maggie and Daryl's chat in the container (though I just know it ignited crack shippers). Was it just me or was Lauren Cohan's accent weird? Like, is it because she's been away from the show that she can't remember how to do it the way she used to? It just sounded off the whole time to me, like she was trying to sound more country than Maggie has in the past.

Liked Daryl seeing Hershel, though I wish the scene had been longer. It looks like we're continuing the trend of having 'legacy' kids around without giving them a personality like they do with RJ.

Liked Daryl and Kelly's interactions in this episode. It did annoy me how they wrote Kelly running off on her own in the woods. Like, you guys literally wrote her getting lost and losing her hearing not even a handful of episodes ago. Why would she risk doing that, knowing there was a chance it could happen again? Sure she wants to find her sister, but I don't think anyone in the group--Daryl especially--would have opposed to going with her. Annoying writing again.

By the way, I can't not point out that the spoilers for this were so anti-Carol. The way it sounded through spoilers made it sound as if Maggie was pissed at Carol for letting Negan out when it was clear that she understood Carol's decision (she was just irritated that Negan was out at all).

Find Me:

I won't go into a full rant about this episode. You can find that on my page. I'll just discuss a few things.

First of all, I really liked the banter between Caryl at the start. It was the kind of content we've been wanting for a while.

We probably all saw it this way but Leah was a Carol replacement. No doubt about it. Carol was 'happy' so Daryl tried to move on with the next best thing (well, according to him at least).

Shipping aside, the relationship and build up to it between Daryl and Leah was so bland and generic. The woman literally seemed to have no personality apart from 'I live in the woods and I lost my son'. I actually rolled my eyes when she started explaining about not having a good family growing up. It was like watching Mary Sue fanfic play out on screen.

I don't want to rant too much but I have to say again, you can't just have a relationship blossom that generically with a character who has clearly struggled with intimacy for a good chunk of his life. It was literally inserting Daryl into the plot of any other cheesy boy meets girl romance. If you are going to do something like this, you need to do it realistically. There should have been more of a struggle there for Daryl. For pete's sake, Daryl's love life (or lack thereof) has been a point of discussion for so many years. You can't just rewrite that lore with some half assed meet-cute storyline.

Oh and I can't forget to say another big fuck you to the end of this episode. Seriously, fuck the shit Daryl spouted at Carol. That shit would have worked for S2 Daryl but not this one.

Okay I'll stop myself there or I'll just keep going. Seriously, I don't think I'll run out of things to bitch about for this episode.

One more:

This episode was okay. I'm not a fan of Gabriel, so I didn't really enjoy the focus being on him. I do like Aaron though, so that was a saving point.

No offense if you're a Gabriel fan but I found this episode kind of pointless. The message was relevant of course but the whole thing seemed a bit hoky to me. Especially the whole 'talking at the bad guy until they have a change of heart'. I can see that this was an important turning point for Gabriel but honestly, I just don't care enough about his character to appreciate it. Felt bad for Aaron though. You can tell he's trying so hard to hold onto humanity.

Splinter:

Probably gonna upset people with this but I'm not really a Princess fan (though Paola Lazaro is great). The episode had an interesting concept and I know it was to try to set up for the Commonwealth or the CRM etc. I just found the way they went about it to be too dragged out without much substance. Even the twist with finding out that the others were figments of her imagination didn't save it for me. I like the concept of seeing things through Princess' mindset and it could have worked well but we just didn't really get any storyline there. I think the only thing I enjoyed was when she talked about her family (she should chat to Daryl. There would certainly be some common ground). Gotta admit though, Ezekiel and his Walker posse was kind of hilarious.

Diverged:

Loved it for the most part. Who knew we needed Carol vs a rat? I certainly didn't but I'm glad I got it. Also Carol smashing that wall to pieces was so badass and kind of hot. Anyone else feel like that? No? Okay...

I enjoyed the comedic moments in this episode. Loved Carol hanging out with Dog and Dog being a menace. Appreciated seeing more of Daryl's room (Why did he have a pirate book though? There had to be a point, right? WAIT, I just realised as I was typing this what it is. It's a reference to when Carol invited him to go out on the boat with her and they would be 'pirates' 😢)

Daryl certainly got a collection of multitools, didn't he? Seriously though, that scene where he was just walking away from the walkers was hilarious. It's literally what people have been saying for years--that the walkers are too slow.

Okay, now let's get to the bad parts I didn't like. Hated the start. They were so stilted and awkward and the fact that Daryl didn't apologize pissed me off. I don't care what Carol said, she didn't deserve any of that shit he said in Find Me. He knows better than anyone why she has done what she has done.

This storyline they seem to be running with for Carol is starting to piss me off. It's obvious they're trying to go for a redemption arc for her when she shouldn't need to be redeemed. She didn't do anything wrong. Yes, she made mistakes but think about how you would be if you had lost so much.

Maggie is being lorded as a hero but remember, she behaved pretty much the same as Carol did in S7,8,9. But no one labelled her as a villain or a nuisance. No, Maggie was strong and a leader for stepping up and making a stand.

I'm really dreading the last season. It's obvious they're planning for Daryl and Carol's rift in their relationship to be a main arc. We probably won't see them reconcile until the end of the season where Daryl'll be like 'Alright, I don't hate you anymore, let's go to New Mexico.' That will annoy the shit out of me.

Here's Negan:

Mixed feelings about this one. I enjoyed seeing Negans backstory. Also props to the makeup team. They did a great job making JDM look younger. The thing I didn't like was the flashbacks within flashbacks. It made it hard to follow at times. Still, JDM and Hilary Burton Morgan had great onscreen chemistry (which they should, of course). I was surprised to see Laura pop up. I never thought she would have been one of the first Saviours.

Can't not mention how good Carol's hair looked in this episode. Please let us have this wig more often. It's so cute compared to the other frizzy one.

Also, I really don't give a shit about the drama between Maggie and Negan. There can't be a peaceful solution to it. There's no way Maggie will ever be okay with Negan being alive. Carol's right. If he stays, Maggie will (try) to kill him. If they have them come to an understanding next season, it will be super out of character. Same as when they kept pushing the Daryl/Negan team up. No way, no how, can either Maggie or Daryl look past what happened to Glenn.

Well, there are my thoughts on the episodes. I seriously battled against my anxiety to even sit and watch these. I was dreading watching Find Me especially for obvious reasons. It was awful but not as bad as I expected. I still wanted to throw my laptop out the window though.

[padme-parker]

Collide / Chapter 1

[a Star Wars x Avengers crossover]

Summary: With the fate of the universe lying in your hands, you are sent on a mission to a galaxy far, far away.

Warnings: none (I think)

Word Count: ~3k

A/N: The readers ‘superhero’ name is Star btw, so I hope that clears up any possible confusion (there will be a backstory/flashback later as to how she got that name). This is the first series I’ve ever written, so there's gonna be some major plot holes and shit that doesn’t make sense!! I’ve been trying to work through the kinks and make it seems as logical as possible. Sorry and Thanks for reading :) xx 

also I didn’t really proof reader so sorry if there like,,, a lot of mistakes

image is from the 100! (but this isn’t strictly about the 100 !)

“and I scream from the top of my lungs, what’s going on?” -4 Non Blondes

You sat down on the couch with a huff, Tony had taken the remote away from you after you decided to replay Revenge of the Sith for the 100th time. It was the team bonding movie night, occurring every friday. Peter and you were more than eager to rewatch it, however the team was not so ecstatic about it.

As soon as Tony saw your eyes light up, he immediately knew what you were thinking of, “And don’t even think of asking FRIDAY to play it for you.” You let out another huff, deciding to leave so you could have some time to yourself.

“Star, where are you going!?” He paused the show, as he and the others turned to you.

“Well, since you took away my joy, Mr. Stank, I’ve decided to ogle Anakin Skywalker in the comfort of my own room.” You could hear the snickers let out by the team as Tony muttered under his breath, unpausing the show as the theme for Sense8 started to play.

As you entered your room, you took no notice towards the figure in the corner. You were just about to flop down onto your heavenly bed before you were interrupted.

“Miss L/N.” You let out a scream as you turned to the figure. Quickly unholstering your weapon, you pointed it at the figure, finger guns ready to shoot if needed. “Cut the crap L/N, and put the ‘gun’ away.”

“Damn Fury, I could’ve been changing! What the hell.” You gave him an incredulous look

“Oh you’re funny, but we all know that you don’t give a damn if someone sees you half or fully naked. Not that I’d want to, cause frankly I don’t.” Your eyes widened with shock, mouth falling open, “Nevermind that, I’m not here for chitchat. I have a mission for you that requires your focus to be….elsewhere.”

“Elsewhere..? EYe- sir it’s the 21st century, not the 18th century.”

“Yes, well regarding the place you’re going to, our timelines won’t be explicitly the same.” You gave him a questioning look, he continued, “Tell me young L/N, have you ever heard of the force?” Oh at this point he must’ve been tickling your pickle, I mean what kind of joke is he playing at?

“Yes, of course I have! It’s a fictional power from a fictional movie!” Opting out on the ‘DUH!’ at the end just in case Fury decided he wasn’t in the mood to play games anymore.

“Wrong, agent L/N. You’re absolutely wrong.” At this point you were seated on your bed, hands clasped together and placed on your lap. “In fact, where do you think you got your powers from?” Oh shit, maybe you should’ve thought about the fact that you could move things with your mind before saying that the force was fake.

“I don’t understand, even if what you’re implying is remotely correct, it would be impossible! There’s also no way I could even go back to the past to change it” Before you could utter another word, Director Fury motion for you to stand up.

“Come with me agent L/N, you have much to learn.” He said as he directed both of you out of your room. Soon you found yourself in front of the doors to the meeting room. Walking in, you noticed there had already been files laid out across the table. “Take a seat, L/N. I’ve got a lot of explaining to do.”

“First things first,” I’m the realest, HA! I’m funny, good one y/n.  “The force is real, it’s essentially what gives you your telekinetic powers. Second, because of Doctor Strange, it has come to my attention that the fate of the universe lies in your hands.”

“Wait, what? Why me? Is it because I’m a huge Star Wars fan..? I mean come on! What about Peter, he likes Star Wars too!!”

“Cause I said so, and no, Peter is too young.” Yeah, but apparently old enough to be watching a show with the team that contains nudity, but then again he is 18. Poor kid would just blush at the thought of sex.

“Okay, but even if I did agree to doing this, wouldn’t it be too late for me to at least try to solve anything?” There were a million thoughts and questions running through your mind.

“Time runs at a slower pace in our universe than it does in theirs. If our calculations are correct, we are currently in the Revenge of the Sith timeline.”

“But I thought it was, ‘A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…’ not the present..” you rebutled

“Ah, yes. We contacted Mr. Lucas himself. Turns out he too is force sensitive, and gifted with foresight. That’s why he wrote the books and comics, along with creating the movies. He did it so he would never forget about where he’d come from, but it also served as a warning. When he first had visions of the downfall of the Jedi Order, he fled. Using a bridge that connected Coruscant to our Earth. That’s how he, and many other force sensitive beings like you, can inhabit the earth.” He explained.

“That still doesn’t answer my question, how-”

Fury interrupted you before continuing, “Right, like I said, time runs slower here than it does in their universe. While time in his universe runs faster. Before he left, Qui Gon Jinn hadn’t been born yet. He’d left their universe when he was merely 22, about the same age as you. At the age of 32, he’d already released A New Hope. On Earth, he ages slower. Had he stayed within his universe, he would’ve been dead way before you were born.”

All this new information was giving you a headache. “Hold on, you mentioned a bridge.. What exactly is it?”

“Well agent L/N, the bridge is located in the middle of Antarctica, precisely the south pole in an underground ice cave. The bridge can either be used to summon other beings or to travel to different planets. It just so happens that we have one here on Earth. How? We have no idea, but we’re working on it.”

At this point, you were confused and wouldn’t be able to comprehend any new information if he gave any. Noticing the distant look on your face, Fury dismissed you.

“I’ll give you the night to think about it, but remember, the fate of the universe lies in your hands, Y/N. We don’t have much time to waste.”

-

You sat on your bed, hands raking through your hair. Hours ago you were so excited to rewatch your favorite movie, and now you were about to be thrown into that universe. You didn’t know whether to be elated or terrified. Fury said that there were other force sensitive beings on Earth, so why would they choose you? Surely there was someone stronger than you that they could send. But then again this meant that you would be seeing THE Anakin Skywalker.

You looked at the files again to get a better grasp of the mission. Join the Jedi Order. Befriend Anakin Skywalker, Obi Wan Kenobi, and Senator Amidala. Eradicate the Titan race. Hold on, they wanted you to kill a whole race of creatures. If you couldn’t kill a fly, then there was no way you’d be able to off a whole race.

You decided to shoot Peter a text, asking him to come to your room. It didn’t take long before you heard a knock on your door. You responded with its open and Peter came into your room, flopping down onto your bed right next to you.

“What’s up buttercup?” You scrunched up your face. Ew, save it for MJ. Speaking of MJ, you wondered how the two of them were doing. However, you chose not to say anything and instead focus on the situation.

“Okay Pete, I’m going to tell you something and you absolutely CANNOT repeat it to anyone else. Not even Ned.” You paused, waiting for him to nod before continuing, “So like after Mr. Stark so rudely interrupted our rewatch of Star Wars, I went to my room to watch it myself. And then one thing led to another and nowi’mgonnabetravelingacrosstheuniverseandplayingjediwithTHEANAKINSKYWALKERandofcoursedaddywankenobibutFurywantsmetokillawholeraceofbeingsbecausethefateoftheuniverseliesinmyhandsnow.” You turned to Peter hoping his advanced hearing allowed him to understand what you just said, but instead you just received a flabbergasted look from him. “ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵐᵉ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᶦ ʲᵘˢᵗ ˢᵃᶦᵈ…” You waited a few seconds expecting that he would catch on eventually, alas he didn’t. You began to repeat yourself, only this time slower.

“...so you're telling me that the force exists and i got stuck with a FREAKING radioactive spider bite??” Dear god, this boy was going to be the death of you.

“Peter, that’s not the point!” You said, trying to get back to the subject, “The point is that by tomorrow I’ll be in a whole other universe, that up until today, didn’t exist to us. This is supposed to be fictional dude, and now it’s becoming my reality! OUR reality! What if I get impaled by a lightsaber? I’m only 20, I can’t die!! Or worse, what if Anakin doesn’t like me?” The severity of the situation was just now hitting you, so many things could go wrong on this mission, but the whole universe was counting on you. The weight of the world began to crush you and breathing became hard. Falling to the floor, you laid in a fetal position, arms clutching your knees.

From the corner of your eye you could see Peter's arm reaching out to touch your shoulder, “Hey, star, you're okay. You’re gonna be okay. C’mon sit up and take a deep breath with me.” Carefully, Peter hoisted you up. You sat criss cross applesauce on the floor, parallel to Peter. Following the breathing exercise, you felt yourself calming down.

“Thank you, y’know you didn’t have to do that. But I appreciate it, a lot.” You knew you weren’t getting a wink of sleep tonight, so you asked Peter if he could stay for the night, which he agreed to. The two of you spent the night talking about the most random things, and before you knew it, the sun had already risen.

Noticing that it was morning, you offered to make some breakfast for the both of you. However as you got up to move, FRIDAY interrupted you, “Miss Y/N, Director Fury requests your presence in the meeting room.” Letting out a loud groan, you told FRIDAY that you would be down soon.

“Well Peter, it looks like I’ll have to make you breakfast once I get back.” You gave him a quick nod before making your way to the meeting room.

“I trust that you spent the night thinking about the mission, agent L/N. So, what have you decided?”

You cleared your throat before responding, “One last question, then you’ll have my answer.” Fury briefly nodded, signaling for you to continue, “Of all places within our universe, why there? Titan is within our solar system, wouldn’t it make sense for the avengers to travel there and just..” holding up a two finger gun to your head, you pretend to shoot yourself and die, “y’know? I mean it would save us a lot more time.”

“Well to put it simply, they have technology far more advanced than ours, we need a special weapon in order to carry out the mission.” You hoped that Fury wasn’t referring to THE weapon. If you went, that would mean you’d be forever changing the timeline, and there’d be no way to fix it. But if you didn’t go, Anakin would fulfill his prophecy, he would live the life of a liar, traitor, and puppet. You wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself for letting Anakin suffer.

“Fine, I’m in. When do I leave.”

-

The flight to Antarctica was long and boring, you would’ve slept but your nerves kept you up. But as you felt the jet land, you couldn’t have been more relieved. You were finally back on land. You could kiss the ice if you wanted to, but chose not to. Who knows what kind of ancient bacteria is lurking.

The entrance to the cave was surrounded by many agents. Although it was quite literally in the middle of nowhere, security was still a top priority. Entering the cave, you clutched the fluffy jacket that was wrapped around your body. You walked in silence, admiring the cave until the agents stopped in front of a hatch.

“This is as far as we can go. Climb down the ladder and follow the path, Fury will be waiting for you.” One of the agents informed you, as the other bent down to open the hatch. Well, here goes nothing.

The first thing you noticed was the change of temperature. Above the hatch, it was freezing, but below it was warmer. Warm enough that you broke out in a slight sweat, but not warm enough to melt the ice. The second thing you noticed was how well lit the passage was, which surprised you. There were lights hanging onto the wall. Hmm, there’s no way they could be solar powered, it's too far underground. They must be powered by the bridge.

You followed the passage, noticing a slight hum that grew louder with every turn you took. Soon, you found yourself in front of a door, a faint green hue escaping from under it. You slowly pushed the door open. The sight in front of your very eyes had you mesmerized. The bridge itself was made of a stone like matter, hovering above the ground. Walking closer to it, you took note of it’s spiral pattern and engravings.

“Welcome agent L/N.” Fury’s loud voice startled you out of your trance.

“The symbols, what do they mean?” You asked

“Well, we're not entirely quite sure what they mean. But we do know that it’s a language of sorts. You see, if you tap the symbols in a specific order, you can travel to a different world or summon a person.” Fury turned to you, handing you a necklace. “It’s a communication, tracking, and code device, all in one. Use it when you need to communicate vital information to us. All the codes you need are in the device, but be weary of using them, any only summon one of us if absolutely needed. It also includes mission details, like the time on Earth and a countdown. If you're not back the day the countdown is done, we will come find you.” He demonstrated how to use the device, pressing a button to bring up Coruscant’s code.

“Now, exactly how does this work ?” You pondered

“It relies on the energy being emitted from the bridge. For it to work, it’s essential that you stay on a planet with a bridge. If not, we won’t be able to track or help you if needed.”

Not another word was uttered as you went to remove your jacket. The black long sleeve shirt along with the black jeans and combat boots you were wearing was going to make you stick out like a sore thumb in the Jedi Temple. Reaching for the device around your throat, you pressed the button. You took a deep breath before touching the first symbol. A warmth began in you, starting from your core, expanding to the tips of your fingers. With each symbol you touched, the vibration of the hum increased. You continued to touch the symbols needed, pausing slightly before touching the last one.

“What now? Do I jus-” There was now a chill in the room, your hair lightly swayed. A small swirl of green mist appeared from behind the bridge, expanding until it filled nearly half of the room. “Do i just walk in..?” Fury nodded. You took hesitant steps towards it, your heart beating louder with each step. Before you fully engulfed yourself into the mist, you turned towards Fury, “If I don’t come back, tell-”

“You’re going to come back. You have to. The avengers, human race, and every inhabitant of the universe is counting on it.” Letting out a shaky breath, you nodded before stepping into the mist.

The further you went in, the less you could feel Fury’s burning stare on the back of your head. As it became weaker, you began to see a concrete wall. You reached out to stabilize yourself, it felt as though you were being kicked out of the bridge. The mist dissipated the second you stepped out of it. Hugging the wall, you look around the concrete room, noticing a heavy look door in front of you. With all your might, you pushed the door open. You began to sluggishly walk down a corridor, tripping over your own feet every couple of seconds. Damn, I really should’ve slept. All of your energy had left your body, and now it felt like you were going crazy as you began to hear a voice in your head.

Who are you? That voice, it sounded so familiar. Too focused on trying to figure out who the voice belonged to, you failed to notice the Jedi running up behind you. It was the ignition of a saber that made you freeze, followed by, “Stop right there! Turn around and face us sith!” Oh, so apparently you were a sith now. You raised your arms up slowly, showing that you weren’t a danger to them. Fully turning around, you were mesmerized to find who was in front of you. Or more like, the crowd in front of you. Your eyes scanned through the familiar faces until you locked eyes with him. His eyes followed your every move, his gaze strong and hard.

“Anakin…” You whispered, your knees buckled, sending you to the ground. Your eyes fluttered close, the exhaustion taking a toll on you. Before you could fully fall asleep, you heard the voice softly respond,

It’s you.

~~

read ch 2 here

omg yall I feel like this sucked ass, I rushed the last couple of paragraphs cause I just really wanted to publish this. I’ll probably come back in the future to edit/rewrite it once I get some stuff sorted out. as of rn I'm thinking of doing a love triangle but idk. Also please tell me how you feel about the title,,, I’m stuck between ‘Borrowed Time’ and ‘Clash’, I only went with the former cause it seemed fitting but I also really like the name ‘Clash’. lmk what you think !!!

[gingerteaonthetardis]

Hi! What is stuck with you, why is it all over your blog when I search for it, and where can I read it too? I want to understand

hey, nonny! so, like, have you ever watched the thick of it? i'm gonna assume you haven't, just because i want an excuse to ramble.

it's this sweary, extremely snarky mid-2000s show about british politics, and i'm mildly (read: very) obsessed with it. i blog about it shamefully often for a show that stopped airing in 2012. in it, there's this character called malcolm tucker, and he's... well...

scottish?

a total dick?

played by peter capaldi. you see the connection here? twelve looks like a cuddly puppy dog compared to this guy.

so, stuck with you is a fic by gallifreyslostson & larxenethefirefly featuring our boy malcolm, who is canonically a political communications director and miserable bastard, meeting one rose tyler as she stumbles into pete's world post-doomsday with no pete's-world-appropriate backstory, a really wealthy and high-profile new "dad," and enough baggage to fill the entire wardrobe room of the tardis. several times over.

malcolm's job is to make the press fall in love with her and to not fall in love with her himself. it goes well! sort of.

anyway, it's one of my favorite comfort fics and i re-read it constantly and also think about it constantly, so i'm fine. and normal. and fine.

caveats: if you like political comedy & want to watch the thick of it, i cannot recommend it enough, but be ready... use headphones, and try to remember that in 2005 in the uk, you could apparently... just say fucking anything on television. seriously. it's so foul.

the fic picks up towards the end of season 3 and, as i said, at the end of doomsday for rose, and while i don't know that you have to watch ttoi to read it... i would. but i dunno, you might still like it if you don't?

also, this fic is rated explicit and contains smut as time goes on.

anyway, i hope this clears some things up for you! there's a running joke in the fic about him being superman and her being wonder woman and i won't explain it, but like. it's cute. they're cute. ugh. time for a re-read!

[babycharmander]

I saw Toy Story 4. This isn’t a review post but it does contain spoilers, which I’ll keep beneath the cut.

If you want my brief, general thoughts on the movie: Forky was the best part (except for the VERY LAST scene he was in, c’mon man) but he’s barely there past the beginning. And the movie had some very good moments but it was... overall very muddy. But... a lot of people are really loving it, so maybe it’s just me?

(If you really like any of the original cast other than Woody and Buzz though, don’t get your hopes up because they’re barely in the movie.)

Also stay for ALL the credits.

Okay now I need to rant about this because it’s bothering me.

I did not like Gabby’s entire character and her part of the story.

This could just be me being too sensitive or something but the more I thought about it the more it really really bothered me...?

So like, when we first see Gabby, she very quickly notices Woody’s pullstring, so we immediately know--okay, she’s a talking doll and her voice box doesn’t work, and she clearly wants Woody’s. This is then confirmed like three minutes later, and she, of course, tries to steal Woody’s voice box. She fails, captures Forky, and holds him hostage.

She treats Forky nicely, however, and then... uses him to learn all about Woody, gets Forky to sympathize with her, and tricks him into helping her capture Woody again.

All very manipulative, underhanded, etc, right?

However... at the same time, she’s animated with a lot of emotion and sadness to her. But all part of the manipulative side to her, right?

Woody comes to the rescue. Gabby and her creepy henchmen try to capture Woody again, and nearly succeed in TEARING OUT HIS VOICE BOX. It’s admittedly a pretty suspenseful scene. They also wind up hurting a lot of the other characters who are helping Woody (partially inadvertently due to the cat, but even so), and once again, steal back Forky.

Woody of course goes back for Forky (even though no one else wants to... and they treat him like he’s doing the wrong thing by doing so ???? even though Forky is in danger like... what, uh... but that’s sorta another topic I guess), and is immediately cornered by Gabby and her henchmen.

Gabby again turns on her manipulative act, going on and on about everything she learned about Woody’s past, and how much it means to be there for a kid and how that’s the most important thing a toy can do (which just makes the ending even more “uh hey wait what” but again, different topic) until he finally agrees that he’ll sacrifice his voice box to get Forky back.

Okay, so Gabby used her manipulation and did a bunch of awful stuff to get what she wanted.

And then the kid she was hoping would want her when she got her voice box working... doesn’t want her.

Oh, okay! So she’s going to learn that being manipulative and terrible and hurting others to get what you want is wrong and doesn’t actually help--

haha no we’re supposed to feel sorry for her and act like she did nothing wrong because she’s sad and defective :)))))

NO.

I know stories don’t have to spell out when a character does something wrong, but--dslja;fs the story treats her like it was okay she did all this horrible stuff because she’s sad and defective. She never apologizes, and none of the other characters hold it against her. They sympathize with her.

Maybe this is me taking things too personally, but... okay, buddy, I know a person who was also sad and had problems and did a lot of really horrible things to people--me in particular--because of that, and instead of people, y’know, helping the people he was hurting, they sympathized with him instead because ohhh he had these problems, it’s so sad, we should really sympathize with him and not try to remove him from the people he’s hurting.

Okay, cool, leave me to my nightmares about getting chased and grabbed and hurt, and panicking every time I see his name and every time I think I see him.

I just... don’t appreciate them presenting Gabby as 100% sympathetic and excusing everything she did because she was sad. I’m not even asking for a character to just blatantly say “hey you were manipulative and awful and that was not okay” just at least give her consequences for doing horrible things like gosh dang please

tl;dr “i’m sad and lonely and broken" is not an excuse for being manipulative and hurting people

EDIT: ALSO WHAT THE CRAP okay so... we heard Lotso’s sob story in Toy Story 3 and that didn’t excuse ANTYHING he did. Also Stinky Pete’s backstory was very similar to Gabby’s, minus being defective, and nothing he did was excused AT ALL. I’m sorry WHAT THE ACTUAL CRAP?!?

[kitsoa]

Heart of Stories theory follow-up

So my reddit post about that list of interconnected theories got some comments and I thought it’d be good to post a thread of comments as a little followup. It pertains to some nuance of the Worlds as Stories sub-theory that I cover in this post. 

Namely these points in question:

Kingdom Hearts (the object) is not a massive collection of hearts– world’s hearts or hearts of men– no it’s the collective heart of reality itself.

The Worlds in Kingdom Hearts are not isolated environments and settings, or even dimensions of progressed scenarios but literally manifestation of authored Stories. The actual Disney movie stories. They are physically limited to the stories they derive from, but by virtue of being connected to the greater collective story of KH they are capable of behaving like transformative works.

Because Worlds are Stories, the Hearts of Worlds are actually the Hearts of the Stories they contain. We connect with people from the heart. We also connect with stories and characters in the same way. It doesn’t matter that they aren’t real.

If Kingdom Hearts (the object) is the Heart of Reality, and the Heart of Worlds are actually the Hearts of Stories, and Kingdom Hearts (the game) is becoming self aware of its status as a work of fiction (A Story), then Kingdom Hearts is both the actual game and the in-universe object at the same time. Like, the definition is singular.  

EFG567 said:

The second part of your theory seems to have a critical flaw. What stories do Twilight Town, Radiant Garden, Destiny Islands, etc. manifest? They're simply ... places that exist in the setting. Come to think of it, what does the backstory element of all the worlds being connected before the Keyblade War even mean in this interpretation? And if Kingdom Hearts the object is Kingdom Hearts the game series, what's the X-Blade?

Ah, very good questions. It's ultimately centered around the idea of story contrivances. Worlds are literal plot devices for the sake of a fictional fantasy with the added caveat that the KH universe also holds external stories made by foreign authors to the KH verse (though interpreted through a lens). So original worlds in this case are more native, plot devices to house the made-up stories of original characters (or places to house the stories of FF characters).

The universe backstory is interesting (and for that matter the recent KHUX update has Brain using books as metaphors for worlds which I think is on the nose). First of all, the world was 'one' but still composed as smaller worlds (or 'stories' in the case of this theory) so virtually everything functioned identically to the present state of the universe. So 'KH reality as a story' interprets this divided but unified set up as a kind of narrative humility. A unilateral interpretation of the KH story (i.e. original kh world) as equally fictional as the Disney stories that it coexists with. The Keyblade War then becomes a sort of cataclysm that destroys this concept, perhaps even placing KH reality and the stories it natively tells (like original worlds and Daybreak) above the Disney worlds it was once equal with and segregated from.

The X-blade as the key to Kingdom Hearts... is just the core source of conflict and therefore the driving force of the game Kingdom Hearts. It is in effect the key to making the story happen. Which is probably why the clash of light and dark forges the thing in the first place. It makes a story.

So the war directly facilitates the story in a way that is contrived, which is probably why it broke apart from the unified worlds. In part due to its self-awareness to that fact. Anyway, sorry for the essay. If I've learned one thing from this franchise it's that the core of its lore is based around personifying the abstract. Submitting to a sense of self-awareness has informed so many mysteries in my book.

EFG567 said

To give another nitpick ... the phrase "dimension" is definitely used several times in KH to describe worlds - "dimensional barriers" surrounding worlds, Ven being "inexperienced at interdimensional travel" in BBS, "dimension links" being connections which transcend worlds or "dimensions", Pete being banished from Disney Castle/Town to "another dimension".

I take your point but I don't think that entirely dismisses this 'plot twist' I'm putting out here. As you state, talk of 'dimensions' is rather interchangeable in the in-universe discussion of worlds because, on the basis of most theoretical physics, dimensions and Worlds serve the same function. They are... spaces that contain entire realities with infinite scenarios and content variation. "Worlds" is a kind of poetic/ fantastical way of saying dimensions.

But to that point, the storytelling language supports this idea that we are dealing with self-aware fiction. Any use of 'scientific language' like dimension is accurate and applicable, but ultimately not the primary terminology as it would be for us. So when I say 'Worlds aren't dimensions' in the original post I guess I'm trying to detach the term from the commonly accepted approximation in the effort to draw attention to the literal fictional nature of the Worlds in question (from our perspective). Because sure, there's probably a dimension where Disney's Beauty and the Beast happens in its animated entirety whether someone confirms it or not, but that is beside the point for our KH interdimensional travelers. Because they are traveling the constructs of fiction in my theory and less literal dimensions regardless of how they internally use the phrase.

[devilsknotrp]

Congratulations, M! You have been accepted for the role of Sandy Silverman (FC:Nicole Kidman). As Mandy’s player, I was understandably anxious to find a player who could articulate the muddy depths of Sandy Silverman... I shouldn’t have even worried. Your application is absolutely incredible. Your writing sample alone made us both so excited, because something as simple as ringing the hotline for Brian is loaded with meaning and intent. We have to spotlight your headcanons. Fleshing out her backstory allowed us to see how much has happened to Sandy. The glimpses of Phillip (putting out a cigarette in his food: oh, God) were painful reminders of how complex domestic power structures can be. You have given Sandy such life. It will be truly wonderful to see her develop in game. Please have a look at this page prior to sending in your account.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Name: M Age: 24 Pronouns: She/her Timezone: GMT-5 Activity estimation: I have a full time job and other commitments but I’ll try to reply a couple times a week! Triggers: REDACTED

IN CHARACTER

Full name: Sandra Kathleen Silverman, née Moore Age (DD/MM/YYYY): Fifty five (08/04/41) – Leo Gender: Cisgender woman Pronouns: She/her Sexuality: Lesbian (closeted, even to herself) Occupation: Real Estate Agent, Great Lake Homes Connection to Victim: Sandy sold Linda the home in which the Goode family currently resides. She also sees Linda from time to time at PTA meetings – when Sandy manages to show up, that is – since they both have children in high school. And since Brian’s disappearance bears a resemblance to Pete’s disappearance years ago, Sandy feels an unusual connection with Linda. Alibi: Sandy reluctantly took Pete shopping in the morning, and dropped him off at home afterwards. She headed to the office to grab a few papers for a client and spent the afternoon preparing a house for its viewing scheduled for the following day. Faceclaim: Nicole Kidman

WRITING SAMPLE

The line rang three times before someone picked up. “You’ve reached the Brian Goode tip-line,” a man said, voice crackling through the phone line like crumpled paper. The voice was monotone. Sandy had clearly not been the first person to call this morning. She hitched her shoulder up, using the bony part at the top to press the receiver against her ear so she could take a sip from her coffee mug. A Michigan Nip, of course. 

“Hi, good morning, I’ve been meaning to call you,” she said. One week had passed and Brian Goode was still a ghost. 

Sandy’s eyes were focused on the phone keypad. If she looked hard enough, she’d swear that some of the numbers had been worn down just a bit more than the rest. All those calls, back and forth, twelve years ago. She practically had the department’s number memorized at this point. “It’s just terrible, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but we’re doing the best we can right now, ma’am,” the man said, and Sandy couldn’t contain the snort of laughter that came flying out. She was standing in very spot where she’d learned that her son was alive, and that her husband was dead. She’d never felt that the Devil’s Knot Police Department had done their best at just about anything. “Do you have any information to report?” he asked.

“Oh, yes, certainly. I was just calling to ask about the case, though. Do you have any leads yet?” Sandy asked the question matter-of-factly, and took another sip. After how long it had taken Charlie Taylor to botch everything last time, she figured the department owed her some goddamned information. 

There was a pause. “Ma’am, this is a tip line,” he said. The pitch of his voice rose at the end like he wasn’t sure if he should be asking or telling.

“I know,” Sandy said. “I thought the main line would be busy, and maybe I could get some information from you instead.” She heard shuffling behind her and turned over her shoulder to make eye contact with her son. “Just tell the Sheriff that it’s Sandy, he’ll understand,” she said, eyebrows raised, and shooed Peter away with a quick wave of her hand. The last thing she needed was for him to get re-traumatized, or whatever Dr. Shah had called it. She’d written some psychology buzzwords down a few years ago in case Sandy ever wanted to go to the public library and check a book out. In all likelihood, the piece of paper had gone through the wash in one of her pants pockets and disappeared entirely. 

There was another pause. Longer this time. He gave a sigh that crackled in her ear. “Mrs. Silverman, I – “

“Officer, come on,” Sandy interrupted, “Don’t you know what happened to my family?” Of course he did. Everyone did. 

“Yes, and I’m very sorry, but it’s ongoing investigation. If you have any information that you think could be helpful, please let us know.”

Twelve years later and apparently the department hadn’t gotten any better since Charlie Taylor resigned in disgrace. Sandy tipped the mug back and took a large gulp. The splash of whisky burned in her throat. “Let’s just hope you’re doing a better job this time around.” She looked down at her empty mug. The spiral cord trailed behind her as she took a few steps toward the counter to put it in the sink. “It didn’t take you a week to find my son in ’84. Do your fucking job. Good day,” Sandy said, and hung up.

ANYTHING ELSE?

Here is my Pinterest board for Sandy! 

Sandy grew up in a very traditional family. Her father was a physician, her mother a homemaker. She watched from a young age how the men in her life took up space; how they showed cruelty in the way they spoke loudly, making rules that only they were allowed to break. Irene, Sandy’s mother, taught her how to make herself pretty and small, so boys would like her. Her older brother was the pride of the family; all chiseled jaw and boyish charm, just handsome enough to get away with anything. The pedestal he lived on was so high she could barely see the bottom of it. She was just a girl, raised in chains, her parent’s Little Darling, unobtrusive and accommodating. Never enough, because she was never allowed to be. This disconnect deepened as she grew older – but if her parents wanted her to be a young lady, Sandy would be the best young lady in all of Indiana. She’d perform perfectly.

She was always good at getting people to like her. In high school, all it took was becoming cheer captain and giving out blowjobs after school in the parking lot. She was a good girl. Sloppy Sandy, they called her. It didn’t matter. They all cheered when she became prom queen, anyway. She went on to study sculpture at Moore College of Art and Design, and told the other girls that her family had been the one to give the school its name. Just to see their faces light up. Sculpting gave her permission, for once in her life, to stick her hands in the mud. When her mother referred to sculpture as a fine hobby, Sandy knew it was code for a pit stop on your way to marriage.

Phillip and Sandy met on a blind date. Irene introduced the idea during one of their mother-daughter dates at the beauty parlor. She waited until Sandy’s fingers were in the manicurist’s hands to inform her that Phillip Silverman would be picking her up that evening. Seven o’clock, sharp. Good genes, she said. Handsome. His mother had been crowned Miss Indiana in ‘22, after all. Irene had just been runner-up. Sandy agreed, of course, because she had to.

The following year, they were married. Phillip was a kind man, and everyone loved him, so Sandy did too. The word wife felt funny in her mouth when she said it out loud, so she put on an apron and shopped at Macy’s and picked up pilates. If she shaped herself into Woman incarnate, it made it all better, somehow. When she gave birth at twenty-five, the post-partum depression swallowed her whole. It left the dishes unwashed, diapers unchanged, and to-do list unchecked. She spent more time in bed than her infant daughter did. Phillip learned to bring the baby to their bedroom to breastfeed. More often than not, when she cradled their daughter in her arms, Sandy would start to cry. Bad mother, bad bad bad, she thought. Phillip seemed to think so too. It didn’t take long for the GP to write her a prescription for Valium. It helped. She started drinking more, and that helped too.

As Amanda grew, Sandy drank. Post post-partum depression, maybe. She didn’t have an excuse then; she just gave up. Sandy tried to fashion her daughter into a reflection of herself – dressing her in pink, putting her in cheerleading, teaching her to smile – but the connection felt irreparable. Thankfully, Phillip took over the bulk of the parental duties. He never let her forget it. At least the resentment was mutual; at family dinner, Sandy put her cigarettes out in Phillip’s food to let him know he’d eaten enough. No one was going to be fat in her family. Another child was out of the question, but sometimes, when Sandy was drunk, she forgot to take her birth control. The post-partum depression knocked her on her feet so badly the second time around that she got her tubes tied. After the procedure, she drove down to the beauty parlor for a manicure.

Sandy remembers very little of the two days her husband and son were missing. The panic was paralyzing. She was drunk when she got the call that Peter had been found; she drove to the hospital and took out two bushes in the parking lot with Mandy in the passenger seat. Her boy was alive! Later, when they found Phillip, grief was quickly washed out by rage. Why had he done this to them – to her? Everyone who’d called her the bad parent could kiss her well-toned ass. And they did. For a while, at least, when the frenzy was still about the poor Silverman family. A small part of her liked the attention. Finally, someone in Devil’s Knot gave a shit about Sandy Silverman when she was sober.

The rumors were relentless. Soon enough, the town was going to swallow itself whole. One morning, their dog Bonnie turned up dead in the front yard, blood pooling on the overgrown grass. Sandy got in the car in her silk pajamas, went down to the police department, and told Charlie Taylor just how badly he was fucking the whole thing sideways. Three months was too long. When they finally arrested Max Acosta, Sandy didn’t even care if he was guilty. She was tired. They asked her to corroborate the argument between Max and Phillip. She remembered the incident in a half-hazy way, but it must’ve been Fourth of July because she’d been drinking watermelon punch. Phillip must’ve started the argument, the bonehead. I have a sense about these things, trust me.

After the trial, she set Peter up with a psychologist because God knows she wasn’t equipped to deal with that. The children still felt far away, somewhere inaccessible to her, even after all that happened. Sandy tried joining the PTA, but that required sobriety on a Wednesday night, which meant her attendance was sparse. She got a real job, finally. Sandy Silverman, Real Estate Agent, Great Lake Homes. With a card and everything. Being a salesman is like being a woman: a test of how much you can endure. All the happy wives and mothers must be lying to themselves too, right? It’s just contest to see who can keep the smile pasted on her face the longest. Well, Sandy Silverman’s a professional, and she’s good at that too. She’s the best at it. And she’ll show you!

[chacusha]

KH3 liveblogging 4/4

Major spoiler warning! This took me so long because I was trying to 100% the game.

This thing where you have to gather Sora’s pieces is really trippy but cool.

Got 333 pieces. Yeah 8D

Kairi being what keeps Sora tethered to the world is great.

Okay so like... the reason Riku was talking to himself in that earlier scene (and no one else could see him doing this) is because Riku has been harboring Replica Riku’s heart in his this whole time and is able to summon him whenever he wants because he (unlike Sora) actually has the power of awakening? Or...

I like how half-hearted Luxord and Larxene were about fighting. Lol.

“I was just along for the ride” “With who?” “My secret” UHHH... 👀 My best guess is Marluxia given she knew him in KHUX time but who knows.

I also like how the other baddies just stay back while the dying character talks with Sora and co. before they disappear.

Let 👏 Kairi 👏 fight 👏 dammit!

Scala ad Caelum = Stairway to Heaven. It looks very pretty and I want to explore here more but I have a very harrowing boss battle to fight, apparently. But seriously, the blue sky and whitewashed walls on a hill by the sea is so very very Aesthetic.

Xehanort has a goat theme? It looks so creepy. But like... I wonder if this is connected to the Foretellers (all of them have animal themes)?

Okay so... Xehanort wanted to forge a x-blade so that he could control Kingdom Hearts so that he could use the world’s first light it contained within to return the world back to primordial darkness so that the world could have a do-over? ._. Also, this last-minute villain redemption seems a bit rushed but okay. Like... I still don’t get what the deal is with Eraqus and Xehanort. We’re supposed to buy that they’re childhood friends but (1) they don’t act like it in BBS (Xehanort certainly is a pretty shitty friend during BBS), and (2) Xehanort looks like 20 years older than Eraqus??? Just being real.

Old man Xehanort’s voice isn’t as exaggerated as it used to be. RIP Leonard Nimoy. ;_;

Lots of near-death moments for Sora (also, I get that Donald and Goofy are some of the most connected characters to Sora, but this last revival was so cheesy omg).

Lea’s new outfit looks great. Xion’s and Isa’s, though... yikes.

> Don’t Think Twice is playing. > Everyone is here and having a fun day at the beach. > Sora and Kairi are sitting in that tree by themselves. Aww everyone wanted to give them a moment together. > THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS. > Sora fades away leaving Kairi sitting in the tREE BY HERSEEEEELF. > Me: What THE FUCK.

That emotional whiplash, though. Going from “private moment alone with the one I love” (while a song about making an eternal vow is playing, making you think this is a culmination of their relationship!!) to “everyone is having fun and I’m all alone thinking about Sora” (while a song about making an eternal vow is playing, making this moment the most heartbreaking thing ever)!!! WHY!!! I’m crying. Even if Sora is still alive (HE IS) I CAN’T ACCEPT KAIRI BEING THERE ALONE THINKING ABOUT/WAITING FOR HIM. When will they get their happy ending? When will they get to be together?? My heart is breaking.

Okay so Xigbar was Luxu? Huh. No closure on what Maleficent and Pete were up to in this game at all, then.

Uh... what? Sora and Riku in modern Tokyo / Verum Rex world? Um...

Apparently the internet says that is specifically Shibuya from the The World Ends with You universe, suggesting a potential connection between the world where Sora and Riku are in the secret movie and the dream world in Dream Drop Distance where TWEWY characters last appeared.

... Was that card Luxord gave Sora before he died/recompleted actually useful or...

Running around trying to get all the trophies.

Oh sweet, I got a keyblade for finishing the Remy bistro minigame!! I wasn’t even expecting that!

OMG one for finishing the Classic Kingdom games too!!

Me whenever I use a summon: I don’t know wAHT IM DOING???

(Seriously, though, why are summons so complicated in this game)

And... got all the trophies for this game. Yes!

... What were those golden Herc figures for, though? Oh apparently for an optional piece of equipment.

Reading the secret reports: Who is this mystery girl? Four friends + a key + “May your heart be your guiding key” sounds strongly like Skuld. Xigbar / Luxu took her away? Or is it possible that there is a DIFFERENT group of five friends in the Dandelions: (1) Larxene/Elrena, (2) Marluxia/Lauriam, (3) Luxord’s somebody, (4) Demyx’s somebody, and (5) literally anyone else (possibly a completely new character) i.e. the person in this report. (I assume if Subject X was Larxene, Saix and Axel would have recognized her, so Subject X is not Larxene.) All five were saved from the Keyblade War and knew each other, but then ended up in the present time completely amnesiac?

Interesting Xehanort backstory... The Xehanort/Eraqus ship-teasing in this game is immense.

So it seems like summoning Kingdom Hearts allows you access to the old world pre-original Keyblade War (Age of Fairy Tales). This is why Xehanort wanted to summon Kingdom Hearts. But it looks like Luxu wanted Xehanort to summon Kingdom Hearts so that the Foretellers would be able to brought back from the Age of Fairy Tales into the present and so would the Master of Masters?

Fuck, watching the Lost Masters ending again, and Ava is missing!! Ava + four friends + key + “May your heart be your guiding key” could also mean she is the amnesiac girl. Although I don’t get the feeling the Foretellers would really describe each other as “friends”... so probably not. Also, I am very worried that the Foretellers are described as darknesses (presumably villains?), and there are seven -- the middle five are Unicorn (Ira), a heart symbol which I’m guessing is the MoM, Goat (Luxu), Snake (invi), and Leopard? (Gula). It’s blurry but the leftmost one could be a bear (Aced) and the rightmost could be a fox (Ava). I guess (given their names) this wouldn’t be all that surprising...

[feitanswife]

Update on the new college: why is this school so weird.

1. Every one of my professors has us on first name basis already. Ian, Ty, and Tim.

2. My lgbtq literature professor looks kind of like if Brendan Urie was a dad? Like dad vibes but... it’s cool but unnerving and he wears suspenders every day and he has this air about him that he’s TERRIFIED of teaching but he’s also like super passionate? Like there’s this very badly contained hyperactivity but it’s just being reigned in by how terrified he is to be roasted by a bunch of 19 year olds by accidentally fucking up, cause this is the first time the class is getting taught at the school so he’s the lab rat.

3. My philosophy professor I swear to god has an imaginary friend or OC or some shit named Pete the Pervert, he has a long detailed backstory that he uses as an example to disprove ethical theories and it’s just... way too detailed.

4. My Geography teacher almost has to be immortal cause he’s got at least four college degrees and has taken over thirty extended trips overseas to various places and how the hell is he like 50-60 when he’s done four lifetimes of shit and also IS HE PULLING MONEY OUT OF HIS ASS???? HE JUST LIKE UP AND DECIDES TO SPEND MONTHS IN RANDOM PLACES??? ON A W H I M???? LIKE LEAVES HIS WIFE AND KIDS FOR MONTHS BECAUSE HE WANTED TO TAKE SNAPCHAT VIDS SHOWING THE EFFECTS OF DEFORESTATION IN ARID REGIONS OF SUB-SAHARAN AFRICA??? Does this man even EXIST???

[gldengod-a2]

WHY I THINK DENNIS KILLED BRIAN LEFEVRE

*Be Advised* The following post contains some graphic material about murder. Do not read if the latter triggers you.

     To start off this meta, I’d like to state the following: I DO NOT believe Dennis murdered anyone prior to Brian LeFevre. I’m going to briefly go over Den’s history in this post though and explain how it eventually boils down to his first kill.

Dennis and Skin:

     As far back as season three, Dennis has shown himself to have a disturbing infatuation with skin, both human and otherwise.

     Psycho Pete Returns, where he threatens to skin Dee and turn her into a lampshade. In the season eleven episodeFrank Falls Out the Window, Dee confronts Dennis on his dream of being a veterinarian, saying that she thinks he only wants to become a vet so that he can "keep the skins." The conversation quickly devolves into a screaming match when she follows this up by telling him that he's going bald, but not before Dennis admits that he is indeed very fascinated by skins.

     One of the earliest references to Dennis's obsession with skin, which I think a lot of people miss, is in the season three episode The Aluminum Monster vs Fatty Magoo. In a brief scene towards the end of the episode, a number of parallels are drawn between Dennis and Buffalo Bill, a serial killer from the movie Silence of the Lambs that wears the skins of his victims.

Both men are naked and applying lipstick in front of a mirror.

Both men are about to dress up as women.

Both men are listening to a song from the 80s about love.

Both men are softly whispering affirmations of self-confidence about how sexually attractive they are.

     Additionally, Buffalo Bill, according to Hannibal Lecter, wants to wear the skin of his victims to become another person. This, along with Dennis's infatuation with human skin, will be very important in Dennis's possible murder of Mr. LeFevre. But before we get to the reasoning behind Dennis's killing fantasies, let's go back to where they may have started..

Gary the Serial Killer:

     Dennis starts out in the beginning of the series as an overly vain womanizer with a frat boy's mentality toward sex. It's only in mid and latter seasons that we are given hints that he may in fact be dangerous. When wondering about the reasons for this, I found myself thinking of a story I heard about a thirteenth century serial killer named Gilles de Rais. De Rais was a French nobleman and the right hand man to Joan of Arc, and by all account a virtuous individual (at least with regards to the way that the gentry viewed virtue in the middle ages). He became one of history's most notorious monsters quite by accident, after a group of con artists masquerading as alchemists convinced him to murder a child while experimenting with necromancy. De Rais discovered from this that he enjoyed killing, and went on to become one of histories earliest recorded serial murderers. If Dennis is the Gilles de Rais of our scenario, then his alchemist would be Dee's former neighbor, Gary.

     We first meet Gary in the season three episode, Mac is a Serial Killer, where the Gang suspects Mac of a series of murders that we later find out were committed by Gary when the Gang discovers "about fifteen severed heads" in his freezer. Though Gary is only around for the one episode, after which he is most likely either in prison or dead after Frank attacks him with the chainsaw, I think that the experience had a very profound effect on Dennis in a number of ways.

     For one, during the episode itself Dennis and Dee try to "get inside the mind" of the serial killer in order to find out who it is and clear Mac's name. They manage to do this by purchasing (stealing) murder weapons, dressing up as a painter and psycho clown, and going out to stalk a victim. In addition to coming up with a surprisingly feasible backstory and methodology for his killer, Dennis becomes extremely excited about the idea of strangling and dismembering the Waitress. He then gets overtly disappointed when Dee says that they can't really kill her.

     We see the episode with Gary referenced most recently in the season eleven episode, Chardee Macdennis 2: Electric Boogaloo, where Dennis sculpts a woman's head in a freezer when prompted to mold something that represents "love." His excuse is that "it represents the preservation of love for ever and ever" (this is important for the section regarding Dennis's psychotic break).

     Some have speculated, based on this last fact, that Dennis may have been the real serial killer all along, and that he framed Gary. Personally I don't think this is likely. The whole misunderstanding with Mac and Gary happened because Dennis pointed out that Mac came home late the previous night, causing Frank to suspect that Mac was the killer based on him being out while the most recent murder was taking place. This means that Dennis was home while the murder was happening because he knew that Mac wasn't. I also find it hard to believe that Dennis could have been so easily dispatched by the Waitress with a can of pepper spray if he'd already killed up to fifteen women.

     More likely, I think, is the idea that Dennis was inspired by Gary. Almost all serial killers start out fantasizing, and when that doesn't do it anymore, they graduate to the real thing. I think Dennis got such a high off the stalk and planning that he and Dee did to fake-kill the Waitress that he kept running with it, crafting more and more elaborate fantasies, such as storing zip ties and plastic wrap in his car, and describing to Mac what they could potentially do with women trapped out on the open ocean. He did this for five seasons until the opportunity arose for him to kill his first real victim: Brian LeFevre.

Brian LeFevre:

     In the season eight episode, Frank's Back in Business, the Gang finds the wallet of a man named Brian LeFevre. After boosting the cash, credit cards, and baseball tickets found inside, Dennis, Mac, and Dee soon find themselves in a luxury box with a pair of business executives that are in town to court Brian LeFevre. Dennis takes this as an opportunity to become Brian LeFevre, posing as him for the rest of the week. Dennis also invited Mac and Dee to "get off" with him by taking part in the charade. Some, as it turns out, were willing to take this farther than others...Dennis describes the experience of "getting off" as the thrill of becoming another person by "getting inside of their skin." The wording of this, "getting inside their skin," recalls to mind Dennis's previously mentioned fetish. Considering this, when we find out at the end that the real Brian LeFevre was murdered right outside Paddy's Pub, it isn't that much of a stretch to suspect that Dennis may have had something to do with it. With this in mind, consider Dennis's reaction to hearing Charlie and Mac recap LeFevre's death.

     As Charlie and Mac are describing the circumstances of the real LeFevre's death, Dennis becomes progressively more and more aroused, finally "climaxing" when they show his severed finger (which Charlie cut off in the morgue). This is very similar to the way in which real serial killers gratify themselves when reliving their crimes (also the reason that many of them take trophies, such as the severed finger). Furthermore, his choice of Dee as a companion reflects what may have been his original fantasy, when the two of them stalked the waitress in Mac is a Serial Killer.

     Now all of this is plausible, but still probably seems like a stretch. However, the show does drop one MASSIVE clue as to Dennis being the real murderer. When describing how the police believe that the murder went down, Charlie says that the real Brian LeFevre was stabbed to death by "a crackhead." Now you may hear this and assume that there's no real mystery to LeFevre's death and that it was a simple mugging. But let's not forget, Dennis is a crack addict. He became addicted to crack all the way back in the season two episode, Dennis and Dee Go On Welfare, and he's had multiple relapses in Frank's Pretty Woman and Frank Falls Out the Window. While I don't necessarily think that Charlie knows or suspects that Dennis killed LeFevre, I do believe that the show is dropping a hint that points in Dennis's direction.

Dennis's Psychotic Break:

     Usually when a serial killer first begins killing, or resumes killing after a period of inactivity, something happens that sets them off; a death in the family, getting fired, getting divorced, something of that nature. In this situation, the event that sets Dennis off is as traumatizing as any of those.

     In the episode Charlie's Mom Has Cancer, which takes place immediately before the one with LeFevre's demise, Dennis is stuck in a sort of melancholy slump. He admits to Mac that he's distressed over his inability to "feel things" emotionally. Over the course of the episode he tries a number of remedies, including attending Mac's church and seeing a holistic healer named Doctor Jynx. Unfortunately none of this works, and Dennis resigns himself to feeling nothing, admitting that the church is running a scam and that Doctor Jynx is a "sorcerer" with the name of a monkey. At the end of the episode, however, in what can only be described as a horrific twist of irony, Dennis does manage to unearth his feelings. This happens when Frank tricks him into digging up his dead mother as a means of getting revenge against Dee for insulting him and stealing his money.

     When the casket lid opens and Barbara's corpse is revealed, Dennis bursts into tears and starts hysterically sobbing, clutching Dee and screaming "I feel too much!" and "my mommy's a skeleton!"

     This would explain Dennis's desire to slip into someone else's skin, as the flood of negative emotions that overwhelmed him upon seeing his mother's dead body made it too painful to be "Dennis Reynolds." The sight of Barbara's body without skin probably also triggered his obsession with human flesh, which ties into his psychotic impulses. This likely brought on some self-loathing, given that his mother is one of the few people that Dennis could be said to love, further contributing to his urge to become someone else. So when he saw LeFevre stumbling around behind Paddy's looking for his wallet, it was too great an opportunity to miss.

Aftermath:

     In the episode immediately after the one featuring Brian LeFevre, Charlie Rules the World, we see some interesting behavior from Dennis. Throughout the episode he expresses frustrations with the Gang's lack of drive to go out and "live life." He wants to experience things on a more visceral level while the others are burying themselves in social media and online video games. He comes off as manic and overly cheerful, in a somewhat aggressive way. He wants to go out dancing, as if celebrating something, and winds up doing shots until he projectile vomits at the table. Later in the episode he spends some time alone in an isolation tank and comes to the conclusion that he's a god, and the episode ends with him deleting everyone else's game characters because they "irritated him." Though not entirely new behavior on Dennis's part, he does seem to take his divinity to a more literal level in this episode, whereas in the past he referred to himself as a "golden god" in more of a metaphorical sense. When viewed in the context of our present theory, that he in fact committed his first murder in the previous episode, Dennis's progressing god complex can be viewed as more than simple narcissism, but as the self-aggrandizing mentality of a budding serial killer.

[aion-rsa]

The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 8 Review: The Road to Cincinnati

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This The Simpsons review contains spoilers.

The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 8

The Simpsons season 32, episode 8, ” The Road to Cincinnati” gets off to a bumpy start. It stars two less-than-charismatic secondary characters, and the Simpson family barely make an appearance. The episode is basically a road trip, but Chalmers and Skinner are no Hope and Crosby, and the destination is a city over-crowded with used punchline fodder: Cincinnati, the “birthplace of Pete Rose’s gambling problem.”

The episode opens at the District Principals Meeting, where Principal Seymour Skinner becomes the center of unwanted attention. He tries to tell a joke, but can’t read the room. He goes for a high five and gets a low blow. The big news at the meeting is Superintendent Garibaldi Chalmers is going to give the keynote address at the national administrative education summit, EDUCON. He’s booked at the enviable Proctor and Gamble room. The scene is loaded with edumacational references, but is further Simpsonized by the “Have you seen this mug?” poster on the bulletin board. The missing coffee cup under the masking tape turns out to figuratively be Skinner, who after having his dignity siphoned off, gets robbed again.

The keynote speaker gets to take one of the local principals along, and Chalmers fixes the criteria so the more affable, and witty Principal Finch (Hannibal Buress) from a magnet school tags along for the ride. Chalmers tells Skinner he was never even in the running. That’s gotta hurt. Chalmers is still much more of a caricature than Skinner, who has a much more central role on the series. The Superintendent has been making more frequent appearances. We’ve gotten a lot more backstory. He’s dated Skinner’s mother. But for the most part, he’s just there to yell “Skinnerrr!” at Skinner. “The Road to Cincinnati” might give us too much information.

We’ve always gotten too much information on Skinner. Everything around him conspires to emasculate him. The turnaround this episode is that one of the biggest conspirators is the one who gives Skinner the clarity to do something about it. Bart may not do very well at school. He’s a troublemaker who spends far too much time in the principal’s office. But in all that time, he’s gained a lot of insight. He’s seen Skinner’s history of humiliation. Hell, he’s at the center of at least half. Bart knows however Skinner is treated, he will come back for more. He makes Skinner see that’s a super power.

The first thing it unleashes is blackmail, even though it’s not said. Skinner only makes the trip because he dangles the non-refundable $65 registration fee over Chalmer’s head, which the superintendent loses before his plane makes it off the tarmac. The emotional support animals in the airplane scene make for very effective gremlins. The atmosphere turns claustrophobic, and when the superintendent realizes they are all going to die in a flying zoo, it is an effective air pressure drop. Chalmers comes off like a lone nut, but it is only an annoyance when it could have been a memorable mini-spoof on The Twilight Zone’s “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet.” It does get him bagged in a “threat sack,” and banned from Cincinnati Air forever. The tragic punchline is that’s the only airline which will fly into Cincinnati.

At the start of the trip, Chalmers wants to die. But just as he’s pondering whether to be or not, he makes Skinner pick up a trio of hitchhiking improvisational Shakespeare performers. This gag is actually quite revelatory about both characters, as we see how accommodatingly easygoing Skinner is next to Chalmers’ Ophelia. The joke also pays off unexpectedly at the end of the episode, with iambic dividends. The Greasy Chain Bar sequence works as a skewering of biker bars. It turns out cyclists are scarier than bikers but not for the most obvious reasons. It’s just what happens when you can’t decide whether you’re a pedestrian or vehicle. It is very funny how, during the getaway, Skinner and Chalmers come to a full stop at a stop sign on a completely deserted road. That’s instructional driving humor, the kind which will save your life. For some reason, all the cars are being winterized, but both Seymour’s mother’s Buick and the judge J.T. Winchester’s Cutlass are convertibles with the tops down.

Throughout the episode, Skinner’s worth becomes apparent. As a mama’s boy, he knows how to charm the Depends off old ladies. Skinner is also pretty perceptive and speaks common truths. Jason Bateman was made for low-resolution screens. Seymour knows para athletes’ biceps are bigger than the cyclists’ quads. His Bed and Breakfast points score the pair great elderberry wine. Chalmers admits Seymour has utilitarian skills. But the betrayal comes as no real surprise. Skinner must have known this was coming from some job evaluation.

While there are some moments where it looks like Chalmers is coming to an understanding of what Skinner has to offer, he’s forever looking for the catch. He always finds it, and ultimately the pair get so far on each other’s nerves they get into a physical brawl at a Bed and Breakfast. They even destroy the brochures nobody reads. The scene feels like it’s missing something, as there are no consequences, or even a bill to be paid after the place gets trashed, and they’ve been running at a loss.

After the ballroom blitz, Chalmers has to deliver the speech which will make or break his career. Through a lazy contrivance, he is forced to go up unprepared, and instead makes a speech about his trip which teaches the superintendent the value of a good principal. It’s corny, especially as he realizes it after a shout from one lone heckler in the audience is all it takes for him to see what a good guy Skinner is. Maybe the jacket is too tight and cuts off oxygen to Chalmers’ brain. It was supposed to be touching but it didn’t quite make it.

While the audience is supposed to be focusing on Skinner’s growth, we really get an insight into what a screwup Chalmers really is. Sure, he comes up with some interesting epithets, like “Satan’s jockstrap,” and his hair recedes in a fully authoritative way, but put him up against some pedal-hardened cyclists and what is he? A Superintendent of a small school district who doesn’t understand the principles of gravity or the gravity of principals.

When Chalmers bumps into the pre-synced bike-computers he is truly cowed. He’d never last a week in a middle school, dealing with kids all day, every day, in hallways, near lockers, and at water fountains. He’s the one who’s screaming about “who’s screaming” on an airplane. All the trouble the pair get into is because of him, whether it’s his inattentive driving, wanton disdain for genetically modified soybeans, or inability to tell Cincinnati from Cleveland from the skyline.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

As god as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly, and believe one of the good things about choosing Cincinnati as the setting is the excuse to hear the two WKRP in Cincinnati theme songs. Sadly, that’s a highlight of a fairly lame trip. This is what remote learning does to The Simpsons. “The Road to Cincinnati” is paved with too many good intentions. The Springfield faculty gets to get out of town but ultimately there’s nowhere to go but Cincinnati.

The post The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 8 Review: The Road to Cincinnati appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2HQolIu

[silverthenerd]

Okay… so this post is going to contain information about my TMNT AU and my characters’ backstory. So if you’re interested, keep reading! I’ll be updating this if there is new or different information to the AU~

SO WHAT TMNT UNIVERSE/VERSION IS THIS? Our version is kind of a mixture of TMNT 2012, TMNT 2003 and the IDW comics. The story mainly follows the 2003 plot, and then we’ll pull some things into the story that we like from other generations (such as the spill of mutagen canisters in 2012, or Hun being Casey’s dad in the IDW comics). We still don’t know if we’re gonna go with Kraang (2012) or the Utroms (2003), but we’ll have to figure that out at some time. WHAT CHARACTERS ARE A PART OF THIS UNIVERSE? Right now the characters we’ve included so far are of course the turtles (in my own style), my OC’s, 2012 Master Splinter, 2003 Agent Bishop, 2003 Shredder (at least we think so, still haven’t decided) and 2003 Foot Clan, IDW Karai, 2003 Baxter Stockman, 2012/IDW Hun (gonna have to make my own version), 2003 Purple Dragons, 2003 Casey, 2003 April, IDW Alopex, IDW Angel, my own version of Mondo Gecko, IDW/2012 Mutanimals (we kind of switched around with the members and took the characters we thought were cool: IDW Old Hob, IDW Slash, 2012 Leatherhead, 2012 Dr. Rockwell, IDW/2012 Pigeon Pete (they’re pretty similar) and my Mondo Gecko), 2003 Usagi, 2012 Mona Lisa and 2012 Murakami. I’ll add to the list if I think of more, or if more characters appear in the story. THE BACKSTORY FOR THE SQUAD Teddy, Chili, Viktoria and Cecilie were just four regular teenagers from Denmark (woop I got no regrets fite me) going on a school trip to New York City during the month of April. The four of them were best friends, sharing a love for cartoons, drawing, fantasy, generally just geeky stuff. The three girls were going to New York with their IT class while Teddy was going with his drama class, but luckily they all ended up going to the same location. When the classes weren’t going around the city to learn about their subjects, Teddy, Viktoria, Cecilie and Chili would team up and go into the city on their own to eat lunch and check out cool stores. On one of those days, they were checking out a comic book store, but since Chili and Viktoria had already finished up buying what they needed, they went out to look around for a bit, trying not to get lost and stay near the shop where Teddy and Cecilie were still looking for goodies. While waiting for Teddy and Cecilie, the two girls were standing on the side of the street, casually talking. Unfortunately they were caught off guard and as a mysterious man grabbed Chili and started dragging her into an alleyway behind them, Viktoria tried to help Chili escape him, but was caught by another man. They were dragged into the alleyway and were knocked out. The two girls woke up in an unknown room. They had been strapped onto tilt tables. Already scared and confused, the tools lying on a steel table nearby certainly weren’t helping. As they were trying to escape from their straps, a stranger appears from the shadows. He introduces himself as Agent Bishop and starts telling the girls about his plan that involves creating “super soldiers”. He tells them things that they do not understand about mutants, aliens and all kinds of crazy things. As he commands one of his men to ready the syringe with the turtle DNA, the girls start panicking and screaming at him, but he simply ignores it, takes the syringe and walks up to Chili, injecting her with a green glowing kind of “liquid”. As he steps back and the mutation begins, Chili starts screaming in pain from the changes her body are going through (think about it, her whole body is being rearranged, that must hurt like shit), while Viktoria can only scream in horror as her friend passes out from the pain. Viktoria goes through the same procedure, only with lizard DNA. Two weeks later, Bishop has placed the girls in stasis pods, checking up on them and researching them. Unfortunately for him, a certain bunch of mutant turtles have heard about kidnappings and they’ve figured out who’s behind it. They infiltrate Bishop’s lab and rescue the two girls, awakening them from stasis and taking them back to their lair. Now they’ll have to adjust to the new world they will have to live in - a world filled with mutants, aliens, ninjas, dimensions and several other things they had never even dreamed of, while they’re also far away from home and now have to live in a city they don’t know. They move in with turtles and try to cope with what they’ve been through while trying to understand what they’ve gotten themselves into. Months pass, they grow more used to their new bodies and Master Splinter starts teaching them ninjutsu, so they can protect themselves from Bishop’s men, whom they are still being chased by. The two girls hear about another kidnapping on the TV, yet they can’t figure out who the two people are, though they know they were kidnapped only a few days later and they’re most likely from the same school. Several months pass and meanwhile the turtles have found out (from Bishop) that the two people who were kidnapped were indeed kidnapped and mutated by him, but stolen from him by the Foot Clan. Now the main goal is to find a way to get into the Foot headquarters and rescue the two persons. Well, you guessed right, those two people were Teddy and Cecilie. Shredder had ordered his ninjas to kidnap them fro Bishop so he could use the mutants to his own advantage, which he was succesful in doing. Teddy was trained in ninjutsu to be one of his ninjas, while Cecilie learned to read the maps and know the city from inside and out, so she could help the Foot when going on missions. During these months the turtles have also unexpectedly reunited with Mona Lisa, who crash landed on planet Earth and now has to find a way to make her ship function again. Until then she’s living in the lair with the turtles, Chili and Viktoria. Half a year after the mutation of Chili and Viktoria the turtles, Mona Lisa and the two girls sneak into the Foot headquarters (Chili and Viktoria have weapons at this point) and eventually find Teddy and Cecilie. At first Teddy and Cecilie are very suspicious of the turtles due to Shredder manipulating them into thinking the turtles are the bad guys. At first they don’t want to come with them, but Chili and Viktoria end up convincing them to come with them. As soon as Teddy and Cecilie are assured the turtles are not evil (Murakami vouched for them) they moved into the headquarters of the Mutanimals. Even though the four friends live seperated from each other, they still make sure to spend as much time together as they can.