#also english isnt my native so sorry if there were mistakes there

[itsjaywalkers]

Hello Laurie! How are you? How are your holidays going?

I'm the same person who messaged you 2/3 months ago about the fic that I was writing and being scared to post it because it's not my native language. I was wondering how your writing goes, like how do you edit? What do you struggle with the most? I know you said it's not your native language either, and I just wanted to know what slows you down the most? Because for me personally it's grammar, structure of the sentences and its punctionation. I always wonder if my commas are in the right place and if I used right marks, obviously the placement of it differs in every language. And do you have any tips for me? ANYWAYS i'm so sorry this is such a long question bahahhaha, also I've read your new Bartylily fic and I love it. I'm on my knees for them, can't wait to see what you got in store for them. Hihi have a good day! <3

hi darling!! i'm okay, doing some writing!! and my holiday is going great <3 i've been at the beach all week, swimming and reading and eating delicious food. i missed my parents and my sisters like crazy, so it's been very fun to get to spend so much time with them <333

oh, yes!! i remember you!! i hope that fic is going well, and that you'll decide to post it someday. i feel like i already told u this, but i'm sure it's lovely, and if deep down u wanna share it, u should be able to do so, fear be damned (im aware it's not that easy but . u get what i mean)

and my editing process is . very boring and very long . i usually just write the whole chapter out, exactly how i have it planned in my mind, without stopping to check for mistakes, or letting myself get distracted by . a paragraph or a line i don't like, all that can be fixed during the actual editing. once it's done, i try to give it a day?? to let it breathe a lil. and then i reread it all!! i go scene by scene, and sometimes it means just fixing the grammar of some sentences and deleting a random line here and there, and other times it means deleting a whole conversation, or rewriting an entire scene bc it's not working how it's supposed to. editing can take me from a couple of hours to actual days, so it's not a process i really enjoy </3 writing can be a pain, but it's when i get to be messier and have fun and not worry about the end result. editing means polishing and rereading until you grow sick of the story. it's necessary but it's not my fav part of the process, that's for sure

i don't think i'm that bothered by grammar, but it's mostly bc this is just fanfiction and i kinda just . have fun with the language?? sometimes i'm aware i'm not structuring a sentence the Proper way but it looks more beautiful my way, and it sounds nicer, so why would i change it?? not a single one of my uni profs is gonna be reading it anyway. but as someone who isn't an english native speaker either, i totally get u, bc i used to be very insecure about this, and i still am a bit sometimes. i had this fear that ppl were gonna be able to tell english isnt my first language at a first glance. but so what if they do?? theres nothing wrong with that, and bc im bilingual, i speak and write in english in a manner native speakers cant replicate, bc i see and understand their language differently. and i think thats lovely!!!

the thing i struggle the most with is descriptions?? i feel like im not detailed or accurate enough, and like i lack a lot of vocabulary. i do my best to fix it during editing but it never quite works i fear.. i also write ridiculously long sentences, bc i use way too many commas when i should be using periods. and i think that my dialogues are pretty good, but at the same time im always . concerned about characters sounding real enough yk?? since, again, english isn't my first language

and i don't know about tips darling. i keep saying this, but i feel like i'm not the best person to ask about this At All, bc i'm not that knowledgeable, or talented, or skillful. i can tell you to remember that at the end of the day this is fanfiction, and we're supposed to be having fun and being self-indulgent. try not to worry so much about grammar and proper sentence structure or putting commas in the right place. bend the language until it sounds pretty enough for you and a sentence rolls off the tongue the right way. who cares if it's not Correct or Proper. it's not meant to!!! also, don't edit right away, let the story or the chapter breathe for a bit, otherwise you're gonna hate the whole thing and believe it's a Mess. it's usually not!! you just need a break and to put some healthy distance so u can edit more honestly, less unbiased

don't apologise!! my answer was even longer SIGH i hope some of this was at least a little helpful <3 and thank u so much!! more ppl than i thought are reading and enjoying the bartylily fic, and it fills me with joy <3 next ch is coming VERY soon and i can't wait

wishing u the best and sending u all my love MWAH <333

[chaosxcrushed]

Yuki is an interesting antagonist in yhs (imo), so time to rant about her because wow

She was born into the Yakuza and her father makes her do some 'work', which explains her violence tendencies. Sure, she's also a little crazy but it doesn't look like she was raised with correct morals. She's the underboss of the Japanese Mafia, who will finish off her targets and willingly dispose of whoever's a threat to her. This applies to a lot of characters and deaths

On the early episodes of yhs, she took Taurtis' liking of Jane too seriously and killed her off. I'm assuming she decided to frame Gareth after noticing that her classmates had a suspicion of him, ultimately leading to his death.

Her reason for killing Salex is obvious, she was dating Taurtis, her crush in the early episodes. Though the thing is between Salex and her, it looks like she got her dad-Karu- to stalk her until she can finally kill her off. Salex's diary did mention that a weird man with brown hair was following her around, leading Sam and Taurtis to think he's who killed her, but in the last episode it's revealed that Yuki actually ran her over. Talk about taking matters into your own hands though, yeesh. She also framed Chan, taking advantage of how gullible the two are.

Lastly, after hearing about her dad's death, she immediately went down hunting the other 2 people that killed him, Grian and Paul. She willingly let Sam off the loose since they were "dating" at the time and used him to bring Grian to her. She was sadly able to decapitate Paul, but Grian lived after they outnumbered Yuki, leading to her own demise. Youch.

She's one of the yandere types in the series. Overly obssessive, not afraid to harm others, can and will use crude ways to get what she wants, etc (like making her dad threaten Sam to date her on the Halloween eps). But I think her being a yandere made a lot sense - again, it doesn't look like she has any remorse, felt sorry for other's losses unless it's her own, and isn't just straight up violent for no reason. Yuki has somewhat of a job to take out people who doesn't pay the Yakuza, which explains why she uses extreme methods to get what she wants.

And on the outside, she doesn't even seem that crazy, not until the later episodes. She's deemed as one of the Cool Kids and even sits at the cool kid table most times, and when she's not, she's at the back of the cafeteria on her phone. She expresses that she's into anime and social media, and spends her time with her friends, especially Sookie and Soul since they share a house. It all seems like relatively normal teenager behavior until she starts killing more people or is triggered. With Salex gone, she's actively sniffing Taurtis' hair (which no one but Sam notices, though he does that too) and was ecstatic when he asked her out to prom. Anyone would be happy if their crush did that, but Sam started hitting on her too for competition and she agreed on him 3rd wheeling or so.

When both of her prom dates dumped her, she got REAL mad and began freaking out, even going as far as to hunt them down at Sookie's after-prom-party.

In conclusion I am rambling too much, but geez her character is just so. Interesting? Makes sense? I have no idea how to piece my words. But what I do know is that Yuki's actions weren't just out of the blue like Sam, though she does develop crushes fast. Again, with how and where she was raised, it makes sense for her to be violent and have death involved, and since her father seems to approve of her doings that just encourages her further.

She doesn't seem to have remorse, nor wants to be caught red handed, which is probably why she only gets closer to Taurtis when a threat was eliminated. She isn't afraid to threaten anyone, given how she pulled a knife out on Rowan, but stopped after hearing he'd explode. Yuki's not just crazy or violent out of the blue, she has a reason to be, though that doesn't excuse her actions.

ps. she's probably one of my favorite characters. She's smart and covers up her crimes, but then again, karma reached her in the end and she died. BUT WHAT IF SHE DIDN'T???? I'm writing a fic about that hehe.

[kalopses-sonderes]

Hey!!! How are you?

Just a little question... if Baker spoke another language (other than English, Japanese and Korean (voiceovers), and languages ​​that can be used in the text) but understood a little English?

Like... my native language is Brazilian Portuguese and I understand English (not fluently, but a good majority)... it would be kind of hard for the Cookies to understand my language (mainly because there's a huge difference), and I'm kind of afraid to talk to "gringos" (I'm sorry if you felt offended, but literally everyone here calls people from another country who speak another language "gringo" (ex: "Então, você sabe daquele gringo que apareceu no jornal?" (translating to English: "So, you know about that gringo who appeared in the newspaper?")) because I don't know how to speak properly in English (I don't know if there's an expression or something like that, so I always turn to the translator, and there are also several times I write wrong in English when I'm going to talk to a "gringo", so... I'm genuinely afraid of make mistakes for someone I don't even know ;-;) and it would be bad for both sides if we try to talk

And look, I know people much older than me who can't even read English

So would they understand a little bit if Baker mostly speaks in she/he/their native language (I think they definitely wouldn't understand) or tries to speak English?

And, taking advantage of this ask, can I be 🇧🇷 anon?

Of course you can be 🇧🇷 anon!

-if baker were to speak their native language, the cookies would think it was language of the gods.

-They would look through books and scrolls trying to find something that would help translate what your saying.

-they would teach you English while they are learning your native language. If you dont want to learn English then they wouldn’t mind, they just want to make you feel comfortable!

-All the cookies will try an learn your language and ask you if they’re saying certain words right.

-If baker isnt to fluent in English and tries and speak it, the cookies will help baker with words theyre struggling with.

-They will give baker private lessons on learning English. Most likely would be Pure Vanilla and Eclair.

[prorevenge]

After months of putting up with my roommate from hell, I got the revenge of lifetime and screwed her over out of a fuckton of money and got her to pay rent and life has never been sweeter! (This is a long one)

This is a long one but very much worth the ride, so buckle up. (also, English isn't my native lang, sorry if there are any mistakes)

This story takes place a couple of years back. During college, I lived with several roommates, all of them were nice and we got along well, except for this one bitch, let's call her Karen. if Satan and Hitler had a child and that child had a child with Stalin and Cruella de Vil, that would be Karen for you, she is a loud-mouthed stupid, egocentric bitch who has the face that scare the shit out of a toilet. She would never clean up after herself, she would always leave her plates and things at the spot where she last used them. I have lost counts of how many times, I caught her stealing my clothes without asking and if you so much as touch her clothes she loses her shit on you, or her drinking our lactose-intolerant roommates almond milk and any time we confronted her for drinking it, she would shrug and say "I only had a sip, stop being so stingy." She plays her music loud at night, invites stranger without giving any heads up, a time or two she didnt pay rent even though her parents are FILTHY RICH and she is wearing gucci and prada shit, Karen also fucking lies about everything, even things that are not worth lying about. like if she woke up 7, and you ask her, she'll lie through her fucking teeth and say she rose with the sun rise because she is a natural. (ps, this is something i actually heard her say to her parents while she was skypeing them....so cringy, who the fuck says that? but i digress)

Months we have fucking put up with her, of course we tried to get other roommates but unfortunately when we all moved in everything, all documents and contracts were done in her name so kicking her out would require a lot of effort and most of us were busy with school and work and life happens. So we ignore it as much as we can and try to move on.

We are now all seniors and in our final semesters, meaning graduation was coming, AND Karen is planning a backpack trip across Europe with her friends as a graduation gift to herself, this is important so remember this.

One of our roommates and my closest friend, Sasha, has had a crush on a guy that lives down the hall. Any time the two of them are together, Sasha and the Guy keep giving each other googly eyes and blushing faces; it was sooo cute. Sasha is a verbal autistic person and has never dated anyone because she has a hard time with socializing and understanding social ques and subtlety, which lets face it, that is the core of dating, especially flirting but with a lot of encouragement from me and the final roommate, Lola we got her to ask him out. He said yes. She was so happy, you guys, she flew back into the apartment and did an hour of happy dance with her arms flailing about and a shit eatin grin on her face; needless to say we were all so happy. Karen caught wind of this and it just so happens at that time she was having relationship problems, I guess her bf finally realized he's dating human garbage. Not one to be outshined, Karen behind all of our backs went to the guy's place and spun lies about Sasha, saying she is a serial cheater and even made a fake account for Sasha's so called bf. the guy never called Sasha, and eventually weeks passed by he told us why but by then Sasha felt like the damage was done and lost interest in him.

I. WAS. FUCKING. FURIOUS.

This, this level of dickery and bloody pettiness is the straw that finally broke the camel's back and I vowed I wouldn't fucking leave until I served my slice of justice. Here's another character that you must know about, Prof C. His wife two years ago was in a horrible car accident and as a result is in a wheelchair, this is especially problematic because she was a stay home mom that took care of their two special needs kids and they have a toddler at home. Home life is a mess for him, he is running ragged between working and single-handedly is taking care of his family, the uni took pity and also feared the workload would see one of their best and most beloved teachers leave the school struck a deal with him to help him out. In all of his classes there will be quizzes and midterms, this doesnt change, but assignments you submit and he corrects at the end of the year, this is important cuz our uni has zero tolerance on proffs that dont constantly update the students course works so that students have the chance to improve their grades.

Karen, the lazy and stupid bitch she is, is somehow skating through his assignments, even though they require a shit tone of research and writing. I accidentally learned that one of her older friends told her that she only needs submit the paper on its due date and to only write the first 3 pages and use a paraphrase tool for the rest of the paper so the plagiarism software wont detect it and would think its original material and when the end of the year comes, submit a hard copy but with the first pages being her actual work and the rest being completely plagiarized, professional work. Prof C won't know cuz the likelihood a man as busy as him thoroughly checking the work of 120+ students is pretty low. I grinned. A plan was beginning to formulate in my head. Oh, sweet mother of Jesus, she is going down! All semester long I let her do this for all of the 7 papers, one of them which is a term paper that has 20% on it alone, all the while I spied and gathered all of her pass codes, social media, her student ID, everything.

The end of the year came and I compiled all of her assignments, both the original one with the paraphrasing tools she used to circumvent plagiarism and the one she finally handed them in, and I even made photos were there are side-to-side comparison of the assignments. This is a good start but not enough. So, One day chillin at the living room I open a conversation about relationships, Karen is two timing her new boyfriend and is sleeping with some other Person. so, I ask her questions like "don't you feel guilty for cheating?" and "You do realize this is wrong?" and I even paraphrase my words in a way that is vague but also clear, for example I would say "It's not fair, so many people work so hard everyday to be successful and you are here cheating and lying your way to success." Karen, narcissistic as fuck, would respond with snippets of I dont care and how she isnt cheating, she is only having fun and that everyone does it so why not her too. This is too good to be true, even her answers are vague, its like god put his hand on my shoulder, looked me right in the eyes and said, "burry this bitch". and Id be damned if I didnt. As you probably have guessed it by now, I was recording EVERYTHING. The recording plus the photos, and her assignments were more than enough evidence, I sent an anonymous email to the Professor, and i tell the girls so that they can prep for the shit storm thats coming. Three weeks later, results are out. she failed and LOST HER SHIT. She was screamin, crying, wailing, what a sight to see! you best believe, the girls and I were laughing. She tried to talk to the prof, but he was not having it. she cried and begged for a second chance but he said a hard no. So now she has two options: she goes ahead and doesn't graduate with us, and takes on a whole 'nother semester for one measly course or take summer course and cancel her trip to Europe, which mind you she spent a fuckton on, something like 13, 000$ and I know it could have been much cheaper but Princess Karen only wanted the best so yh. The next couple of weeks she spent sleepless nights because she was calling and cancelling all the reservations she made, tryin to get her money back BUT (again, GOD really was out for blood that day) because the cancellation was so close to some her trip most places refused to refund, or some charged her cancellation fees. She only managed to scrap 5.5 K back together, lossin 7.5 K. OUCH!

Its not over, having damning evidence I, with earned gusto, told her she was going to pay all of the bills till we move out, which was in two months, payback for all the times she was late on payment or defaulted and she would from now do her part of the house chores or else Im gonna send it all to the admin and faculty dean and she will fo sho be kicked out and all those uni years will have been for nothing. She hated it, she fucking threw tantrums and cussed me out but my god if she didnt do whats told. she cleaned her stuff, apologized to Sasha for what she did, I forced her to come clean to her BF (dont know the guy but the few times i met him he was super sweet to us and i felt bad for the guy), I watched her actually do the dishes for the first time in like years. IT was fucking amazing and I don't regret it one bit. In fact, anytime I feel sad now as an adult, i kick back my feet and reminiscine and a slow shit eatin grin draws itself upon my face.

tl;dr roommate was super mean, i found out she was cheating on her assignments and so i snitched on her and as a result she had to stay the summer and retake the class again or else she wouldn't graduate.

(source) story by (/u/let-the-write-one-in)

[itsalliepg]

Drabbles - Mark x Renata (MC) - Part 1

SUMMARY: An anthology about Mark and Renata (MC)

PAIRING: Mark x Renata (MC)

RATING: Everyone

WORDS: 1803 divided in 7 drabbles

NOTE: Hey! Here some drabbles I made based on this post here. I divided in two parts. English isn’t my native language. I write to practice and learn, so please sorry any mistakes. I hope you like it, and if you do, I’d appreciate if you like/comment/reblog!Tagging  @seawhite-seafair @maxwells-nut@writtenbycandy @teamtomsato @endlessly-searching-for-you @thedepthsremember

1. “This has to be the second best day of my life.” Words: 317 

            After a day of working at Net4U, Renata came home and found Mark in the kitchen. He was putting something in the oven, and she could already identify the smell.

            _Mmm…lasagna…my favorite…- Mark turned to her and smiled.

            _I know – she approached him and he caught her lips in a passionate kiss – I went to the grocery today, and decided to cook something special for my beautiful girlfriend – she grinned – so, how was your day?

            _It was great! – Renata said excitedly, and Mark’s eyes widened in surprise – my last article had the record of clicks, Leah and I realized we already have enough money to hire another Net4U collaborator! – she took a dress from the bag in her hands – I went into a boutique, because of this gorgeous dress, and I found out the only dress they had was this one, that was in the shop window and was my size! – he giggled – and now my amazing boyfriend is cooking my favorite dish!

            _How lucky you are!

            _I know! This has to be the second best day of my life! – Mark turned to her, arching an eyebrow.

            _Really? – he wrapped his arms around her waist – and what’s your first best day?

            _Well, obviously the day Net4U won that prize… - Renata wrapped her arms around his neck.

            _Of course – he kissed her forehead – which is also the day our relationship became official, right?

            _Oh, yeah? I don’t remember that – she said innocently – if it wasn’t for the award, this would be the fourth or fifth best day of my life – Mark rolled his eyes, but kissed Renata deeply. She pulled back panting.

            _And now? – he smirked.

            _Well…now it’s the third one – she winked.

            _Oh? So I guess I’ll have to do something after dinner to make you change your mind – they shared a sly smile and kissed again – I love you, Renata.

            _I love you too, Mark.

2. “Your hair is the softest thing I have ever had the blessing of touching.” Words: 269

           On a Saturday afternoon, Mark and Renata were sitting on the couch watching TV. At some point, he lay down on the couch and rested his head on her lap. She laughed.

           _It’s me who usually does it – they smiled and she stroked his hair, as he did when she lay on his lap. After a while, he sighed.

           _If I tell you something you promise me you will not be angry?

           _Of course no, Mark! – she widened her eyes – why?

           _Well, my shampoo was over and I used yours…

           _...and?

           _Was it. I used your shampoo.

           _Mark, did you really think I’d be mad at you over of a shampoo? – she tickled his stomach.

           _It’s yours, Renata. I used it without asking permission.

           _Well, you don’t have to ask permission to use my things, okay? – she enlaced her hand on his and kissed his knuckles. He grinned.

           _Thanks. But I must confess I’ve always wanted to try on your shampoo – Renata chuckled.

           _Really? Why?

           _Well, your hair is the softest thing I have ever had the blessing of touching – Mark put his hand to her hair and stroked it – I’m not so vain, but I wanted to see what it would do to my hair – she laughed.

           _You’re lovely, Mark Collins – she turned her head and kissed his hand – and I think you should use my shampoo from now on. Your hair is significantly soft.

           _You think so? – he smiled broadly.

           _Definitely – she smiled back.

           _There’s another thing I love about this shampoo: it smells like you – he caressed her cheek. Blushing slightly, she bent to kiss him.

 3. “I don’t know, go eat a cabbage or something.” Words: 203

           _Nata…- Mark sat beside Renata in the bed, and softly tucked her hair behind her ear.

           _Hum? – she asked, still looking at her laptop.

           _Come play video game with me? – he asked, almost begging.

           _I already said we can do it later, baby.

           _Pleeeease? – he pouted, looking at her with puppy eyes. She finally looked at him.

           _I’m busy, Mark. I have to finish this article, review and post today.

           _Aaaah, I hate when you bring work home…what am I going to do until you finish?

           _I don’t know, go eat a cabbage or something.

           _What? – he grimaced – you know I hate cabbage!            _Exactly. You’ll be pretty busy trying to eat something you don’t like. Who knows you end up liking cabbage – she arched an eyebrow to him, and he laughed.

           _You call me a dork, but so do you – he kissed her cheek.

           _I know. It’s daily living with you – Mark rolled his eyes.

           _I don’t know if I’m offended or flattered – Renata brushed her nose against his.

           _Believe me, it was a compliment – he smiled.

           _Thank you – he sighed – okay, I’m not going to bother you anymore.

           _Thanks – she returned to her article, and he picked up his phone and earphones.

 4. “Leaving me alone was everyone’s first mistake.” Words:249

           _Hello, Mark! – Renata greeted as he locked the front door. She walked to him for a kiss – how was your day?

           _It was…interesting. My room is being renovated, and I have to share a room with three interns, who kept talking all the time. I was getting very annoyed and didn’t know what to do, and finally they left the room to do, I don’t know what. When the room finally fell silent, I noticed how my head was aching.

           _Oh, poor Mark – she massaged his temples – but dit you get to work?

           _Well, I took advantage of my solitude and I worked on the plot for a new game.

           _Oh, that’s nice! – she smiled – so, can I see the drabbles you did?

           _Actually, the drafts are almost ready – he showed the graphics on his tablet.

           _Mark! Did you do all this in just one day? – Renata’s eyes widened.

           _Leaving me alone was everyone’s first mistake – he grinned proudly – I found out when I’m annoyed I feel more creative.

           _So I think you should hire some interns to bother you from now on – they burst into laughter and shared a deep kiss – how about we order a takeout to celebrate?

           _Great idea – Mark hugged Renata and kissed her again – and I think your hands are magic, my head isn’t aching anymore.

           _Oh, you know very well how powerful my hands are – she winked.

           _Mmm…I think I’ll have to see this more closely later – he smirked and they kissed again.

 5. “So, funny story, I might have done some not so intentional redecorating when you were gone.” Words: 314

           Renata got home after going to the gym, and noticed something different in the living room.

           _Mark? Are you there? – Mark came out of the bedroom.

           _Hey, baby – he smiled and kissed her – did you see the wall? – he pointed to a landscape painting hanging above the couch.

           _Yeah, I saw the wall, the rack, the chairs…what happened here?

           _This painting is too beautiful to hang in our bedroom, so I decided to put it here. But the best place was this wall, so we could see when we got home. But it didn’t look good above the TV, so I had to put the rack there – he pointed out – and of course, the couch and the chairs had to move places too, or we couldn’t watch TV! – she giggled – I didn’t mean to change everything, I just wanted to put the painting here, and when I realized, the living room was completely different. So, funny story, I might have done some not so intentional redecorating when you were gone – he took her hands – so, did you like it?

           _Actually, I liked this setup more than the previous one! – Renata grinned – it was a great idea to bring the painting here! And here I thought you were into Feng Shui or something…

           _Feng…what? – Mark grimaced and Renata shook her head, smiling.

           _Never mind, it’s nothing. So, what do we do now? – she wrapped her arms around his neck.

           _What about we take advantage of this change of positions in the room and try new positions as well? – he blinked in surprise – sorry, this sounded better in my mind…

           _I love the idea! – she interrupted, laughing – but I have to take a shower first, I just left the gym.

           _Well, I need a shower too. I’m all sweaty from dragging the furniture – he smirked before taking her in his arms and walking to the bathroom.

6. “That fish looks like me! Look! We have the same distant cold stare.” Words: 280

           _Okay, what kind of animal do you want, Nata? – Mark asked s they arrived at the animal shelter.

           _If you don’t mind, I’d love a cat. I always wanted one, but my sister is allergic – Renata smiled when she saw a Siamese cat in a cage and walked over there – awwww, aren’t you the cutest thing in the world? – she approached and the cat bat its paw in the cage – I think she likes me!

           _How do you know it’s a girl?

           _This little sign here says her name is Lola…I like that – Renata opened the cage and took Lola in her arms. The cat snuggled up and purred – Mark…

           _I think it’s fate. She has to come with us, right, Lola? – he smiled and stroked Lola’s head, and she moved closer to his hand.

           _She likes you too! Oh, my God, she’s the one, baby! – Renata bounced, holding Lola tight – let’s go to sign the adoption papers!

           _Sure, let’s go – Mark took her hand and they walked over the counter. Next to them, she noticed a bunch of aquariums and stared at them for a while – did you find something interesting?

           _That fish looks like me! Look! We have the same distant cold stare –Renata pointed to a golden fish. Mark looked at it, attentively.

           _Mmm…you’re right. It looks like you when you’re working and ignore me – he smirked and she pinched his cheek.

           _And Lola looks like you when I’m working and you want to cuddle – she looked at the cat in her arms. When Renata said that, Lola stretched and snuggled even closer to her. They giggled.

           _I have no doubt she’s the perfect pet for us.

7. “You know what, I don’t really feel like getting tortured today, can you just let me go with a stern warning.” Words:171

           Mark was leaving the apartment to go to work, when Renata appeared in front of him, arms folded.

           _What?

           _You forgot to do the dishes last night – he tapped his forehead.

           _Sorry, babe. I really forgot.

           _This will have consequences for you, mister – she remained serious.

           _Oh? – he widened his eyes – what kind of consequences?

           _Bad consequences.

           _ You know what, I don’t really feel like getting tortured today, can you just let me go with a stern warning? – Renata sighed and rolled her eyes.

           _Okay, I’ll give you a chance. If you don’t wash tonight, you will sleep on the couch – she arched an eyebrow, trying to suppress a laugh, but she let out when he tickled her – this is unfair! I can’t get mad at you!

           _Believe me, I know – he kissed her deeply, and she pulled back grinning – don’t worry, the first thing I’ll do when I get back from work is wash everything.

           _Okay – she smiled – I love you so much, Mark.

           _I love you too, Nata.

Thanks for reading!

Let me know if you want to be tagged in future fanfics!

[shitanihon]

everyone-needs-a-hoopoe’s submission:

hi there! lorenzy knows me, they linked this in my server. i didn’t look at it at first, but once my friends did they noticed that this au actually has a lot of problems with racism. i doubt this was your intention at all, so please don’t take this as an attack! it’s important to be open to criticism when handling cultures you’re not familiar with. i’m going to outline all the problems with this au so you know what to improve on.

the first thing i noticed is that making frisk’s skin yellow is hugely, hugely problematic in an au set in asia. it’s an example of yellowface - exaggerated caricatures of asian people used by non-asians to look like them. yellowface is appropriative and erases real asian people, which is horrible in any context but even worse in an au set in japan!

-your title actually has incorrect grammar - in japanese things like shita come after the noun, so it should be nihonshita

-making nobody japanese despite basing the au in japan is really troublesome! while i doubt you meant it that way, it makes it feel like you’re erasing japanese people, or treating them like they’re not people at all. how you have toriel say “foreigner” instead of human really contributes to that too - so do japanese humans not fall down too? or do they just not count as humans at all? that’s a really bad implication to have!

-the problem with calling yourself a weeaboo and using the word

-another post about the appropriation of japanese culture

-along the lines of that last one is how you pepper the translated speech with japanese words. it sounds really appropriative and awkward. i recommend either writing the whole thing in japanese or translating all of it into english. i also noticed you mixed in some sort of… “engrish” in here, like “are not you” and things. that’s another thing you should avoid at all costs. it’s really racist!

-similarly, names like “toriaru” really don’t sound good in romaji. it just sounds like you’re mangling the language.

-the fact that flowey uses white rice instead of friendliness pellets is… very racist. really really racist. please don’t do that.

-i noticed that toriel is really sexualised, which is another huge problem in east asia: the simultaneous sexualisation and infantilisation of women. kimono do not accentuate a woman’s breasts like that, and we know from undertale itself that toriel doesn’t even have breasts. you may be trying to mock the anime trope with this, but i don’t think it’s appropriate to try and do by emulating it!

i think the main problem with this au is that you’re trying to base it entirely in a culture that’s incredibly different from your own! while it can be done, it takes so much research to even attempt. i wouldn’t do it without interviewing people from that culture, reading multiple books from authors of that culture, watching documentaries, joining social media sites from that culture, researching its history, putting special focus into how to avoid racism in your writing about that culture - it would take you years to get enough knowledge to do this properly! writing about people from different cultures is essential to understanding each other and representing everyone, but a general rule of representation is that you shouldn’t write about discrimination you don’t experience. a story about people learning about a culture you’re not actually part of isn’t the best path to take, i feel like.

i hope you take this criticism to heart and make sure you don’t make the same mistakes in the future! thanks for reading.

Mod Nora’s Response:

“the first thing i noticed is that making frisk’s skin yellow is hugely, hugely problematic in an au set in asia. it’s an example of yellowface - exaggerated caricatures of asian people used by non-asians to look like them. yellowface is appropriative and erases real asian people, which is horrible in any context but even worse in an au set in japan!” I was just making Frisk exactly how they were like from the game. No one said they were American. They could still be from Asia.

“your title actually has incorrect grammar - in japanese things like shita come after the noun, so it should be nihonshita”

I did notice this after a bit. but was too lazy to change it. blame my weeby 12 year old mind for that.

It was not my intention to make no one Japanese. How can you even know that no one is Japanese when the comic has just started? I could have added other Japanese people in the future. the thing was that all of the humans were either tourists or natives. the whole idea was for them to need to learn about the old customs of Japan. the idea was that they would wonder off of the tourist trip or something, seeing as Mt Fuji is a tourist attraction, and then fall down.

“-the problem with calling yourself a weeaboo and using the word”

I don’t see how thats a problem, I never called myself a weeaboo, I called myself a weeb. I normally just use that as an exaggeration of otaku. and I don’t see how using the word is really a problem in the first place. I was just stating that some of the humans might have been.

The only Japanese words I have used in the whole thing was “eto” and “dan”. these were because these are things that happen in Japan. It would be first instinct for someone who isnt 100% with their english to not know slang such as “arncha” and not know words such as “um” or “uhh” on instinct and use “eto”.

“the fact that flowey uses white rice instead of friendliness pellets is… very racist. really really racist. please don’t do that”

yeah honestly that was a fault on my part. sorry for that.

I was literally just trying to make Toriaru a stereotypical anime girl with huge breasts that you would see in anime. I wasn’t trying to sexualize her, and even if I was, what’s the problem if I am not being accurate to the game? this is MY AU, I can change anything I would like in it. I don’t see how it’s not appropriate. I don’t see the problem with drawing big breasted women. Am I not allowed to draw them? Also, as someone who was born a woman (though now I am male), I don’t see a problem with this at all. Neither do my female friends.

I have put a lot of research on this. I have watched some documentaries, a lot of articiles, not to mention, I take Japanese as a subject in my school, and I normally get good grades in it. I try my best to be as historically accurate as possible. I know I probably did get a lot of things wrong though. So we are constantly learning things about the culture. I was not trying to be racist, I was just trying to stick towards how Japan used to be like before they became an open country. I wasn’t writing anything. Nor was I really even showing discrimination in my AU. Am I not allowed to make a story about Japan? I understand that my AU may not be 100% accurate, but I am just some 14 year old kid trying to have fun with this. I did try my best. I am sorry if you don’t like it, but that isn’t my problem. You can just simply leave if you wish.

thank you for the feedback though. it’s nice to know someone cares a lot about this AU and would bother even writing this much about it. But honestly, it was just me trying to have fun. I am sorry that this ended up being kinda racist. That really wasn’t my intent at all!! But I hope that despite this, you can at least understand my point of view on this.

- Mod Nora                                                                                             

[v-ent]

(1) hi dear 💕 sorry for my possible mistakes but english isn't my native language compared to what others go through here,which i'm v sorry for 💔, my problem is small kinda unimportant at all but i needed to let go off my thoughts. i don't have any friends and i'm very lonely, everybody calls me depressed which i'm not going to deny, they judge me for actions that are made in a depression state i must call, and call me a bad person.

(2) i'm v lonely and I always reply fast to texts and I wish I could be more indifferent towards all the hate. What should i do?

hey so first of all your english seems good to me. you dont have anything to apologize for. also your issues arent small. were here to help not judge.

youre not a bad person for struggling. sometimes mental illness can make us snap at people or cut them off. as long as you apologize for anything youve done to hurt others youre probably fine. i cant really make that call without knowing what exactly you did but i doubt it was anything too despicable. also replying to texts fast isnt bad. i reply to stuff really fast just because i need attention. you dont need to stop doing that. if anything your friends should be happy that youre so eager to talk to them.

to help with the people being mean to you id just get a support system in place. find some people you can vent to when you get upset. maybe ask your friends if they can reassure you that the awful things people say to/about you dont define you because i promise they dont. itll be okay.

- sleepy