#also extremely late SOZ

[eorzeashan]

Sindayyy! You know the drill, chose what ya want or all the chellange: “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…” “Do you want me to stay?” “fuck you.” - “when?”

“Looks like we'll be trapped here for a while….” Eight murmured, pressing his palm flat against the solid wall of debris that blocked the exit to the network of caves they were currently stuck in. 

Ain’res silently cracked an emergency flare and let it roll on the ground. “I've already contacted ground forces for evac.” The chiss agent patted the dirt and sat down, drawing his knees up to his chest. “Nothing left to do but wait, I guess.” He shivered, rubbing the bare arms outside of his turtleneck top.

Eight caught himself staring. Ain’s crimson eyes glowed in the fire of the torch, alluring in their intensity and framed by long, plush lashes that made them impossible to not be hypnotized by. Speaking from experience, he had been distracted by them on many a mission. This...was one of them. His back to the wall of stone, huddled, Ain’res looked small, vulnerable…delicate. Beautiful. 

And more than that, in need of good company and warmth. Eight’s breath came out of him in a fog. This cave sported a chill; they had time to spare before Imperial forces caught up to them, and he had no intention of wasting his energy on scrabbling at the cave-in. No, rather, there was someone whose needs he'd rather see met in this rare time they had together, finally alone, hidden away from the politics of the Sith and the ever eternal war that raged over their heads.

Eight slowly slid in next to Ain’res, who looked at him quizzically. Suddenly, he tensed. Eight’s fingers slipped past his belt, loosening it and undoing the fly. Their eyes met. Ain’res paused, then nodded. He snaked his fingers past his waistband, their cold touch eliciting a shiver from the other as he trailed them against his bare hip, agonizingly slow. Toying with the elastic, Eight pulled it back further–then let it snap against cerulean skin, leaving red marks on blue. 

“Ah,” Lust awakened within Ain’s gaze, mirroring Eight’s own hunger in his pools of scarlet. He sucked in a breath, watching Eight’s deft fingers dance down to his thighs. He gripped the supple flesh hard between his fingers. Ain’res instinctively pressed into his possessive touch.

“Are you going to play around all day, or do I have to take charge?” Ain’res said breathlessly, a slight pant entering his mocking voice as Eight stroked and rubbed his sensitive areas.

“Easy,” Eight drawled, answering with a sharp smack to Ain’res’ plump ass. “I'm getting there.” 

He leaned in, meeting the other’s lips with his own, savoring the mmmh he elicited from Ain’res as they explored one another’s hot, slick mouths, thick with saliva and want. Fangs scraped against tender lips, biting, tasting. His teasing touch turned more aggressive. A free hand slid past Ain’res shirt as the other ventured deeper, feeling up the sinewy, lean length of his body, tracing his scars that he knew better than a star map, trailing torturously from rib to breast as Ain trembled beneath him. He circled his nipple, the flesh goosebumping from his touch. It formed a stiff peak beneath his palm. He pinched it hard.

Ain’res moaned in his mouth, the sound dirty and loud and barely stifled by their tongues overlapping sloppily with one another. Eight lapped up his voice like warm milk, growing hard in his groin at the noise. 

Encouraged, he found Ain’res’ member, already leaking wetness within his pants and half-hard. He thumbed his tip, smirking at the full-body shudder that ran through Ain’res like a live wire as he ran a finger along his shaft, then wrapped a firm hand around his length.

Ain’res gasped as he began to stroke him off, his rhythm pumping from methodically even to fast and furious as he milked high-pitched whines and moans out of his partner at record speed, ramping up until Ain’res pleas were all that filled the cave. The chiss twitched against him, helpless to this onslaught of sensations. Still, Eight did not let up until Ain’res’ full body shook with the intensity of his barrage, his face coming to be buried in his shoulder, hands white-knuckling his shirt. “Please,” He might as well have screamed, given how his voice in pleasure echoed off the cavern walls.

“I’ve got you,” Eight whispered huskily into his ear, even as his partner's whines turned to frantic pants and half-sobs, “I’ve got you. Come for me, baby.” As if to stir him on, or keep him there trapped with his need, he pressed Ain’res up against his body, one hand directing him by the small of his back, where he could feel every shake and vibration.

“Fuck,” Ain’res gritted his teeth through shuttered breaths, even as every nerve in him cried out for release. His anus clenched, longing to be filled. “Not yet, need–”

Eight nosed past his dark hair, gentle and slow, nudging past the locks braided with gold. Ain’res inhaled shakily as he felt his lips ghost the sensitivity of his neck, pressing a soft kiss to his collarbone that set AIn’res alight with confused desire within. The gesture was so caring, so unexpected, that the next feeling of sharp fangs biting down hard into delicate flesh, sinking into his skin and driving him mad with the pain had AIn’res screaming his name. White-hot loads shot out of the chiss as he came into Eight’s palm with a loud cry, a violent tremor that left him out of breath as the tension exited his body. He slumped against Eight, scarlet eyes fluttering closed as Eight stroked the small of his back, hushing him. 

After a beat had passed, the chiss readjusted against his stained chest. “Fuck you,” Ain’res mumbled in hazy Cheunh, a purplish blush coloring his cheeks, even as his ass remained bare and out in the open. 

“Mm. Next time.” Eight had a nexu’s grin.

They were still stuck here, after all. 

[laundrybiscuits]

I had zero plans to continue this but @shdwsilk came in with the extremely good takes sooo…

If you don’t know Inception this is probably incomprehensible. Soz.

“Shouldn’t you be talking to the mark?”

Steve visibly startles as Eddie slides onto the barstool next to him. Steve’s in a suit, because the mark is the most boring person alive and thinks a fancy cocktail party in a hotel is the stuff dreams are made of; Henderson was extremely specific about the number of dashing rogues Eddie was allowed to drop in for passionate speeches and/or dueling purposes.*

“Eddie?” says Steve. 

“Mm, no, Johanna Berger.” Eddie tosses his head, letting ice-blonde hair cascade over his bare shoulders, and smirks up at Steve. “I am quite charmed to meet you, darling.”

Johanna is a young widow who may or may not have had something to do with her late husband’s untimely death, so she’s wearing a plunging black dress designed to show off some real bombshell curves. He’s pretty proud of her rack, honestly; it’s harder than you’d think to make sure everything looks realistic. 

“Are you doing an accent?”

Eddie scowls. Johanna went to an international school, so her accent’s subtle to the untrained American ear, but he spent two solid hours last weekend reviewing Austrian vowels with his dialect coach. 

“Are you not doing an accent?”

“Uh, no? Because I don’t need to? The mark’s from Connecticut.” 

“Perhaps the both of you could use a little more exposure to…foreign affairs.” Johanna leans in coyly, trailing one red nail up Steve’s arm. 

Steve lets out a snort that sounds completely unrehearsed. “Does that ever actually work for you, dude?”

Johanna tilts her head, gazing up at Steve. She’s not the type to get intimidated, but she is the type to be curious. She’ll take risks if it means getting a chance to pry someone open. 

“You don’t spend much time with other forgers, do you?” she says. 

Steve shrugs. “I don’t really do the whole, uh, dreamsharing community. I mean, I guess I’ve kinda been doing this a while, but like—not seriously, you know? It’s not really my thing. Wasn’t planning on any more jobs at all, but Henderson showed up, and you know what that kid’s like.”

Steve looks so openly fond just saying Henderson’s name that Johanna has the sudden urge to shield Steve’s face from the crowd somehow. The poor fool, she thinks in despair. He has yet to learn that a tenderness like that is to be protected.

Or—maybe Johanna would be contemptuous. Maybe she’d think: what a fool. Anyone could see how to break Steve Harrington’s heart.

“Yeah,” says Eddie. “I know what Henderson’s like. Biggest pain in my ass imaginable.”

The soft look on Steve’s face shifts into a real smile as he glances over. “Tell me about it,” he says. “Hey, you sound like you again.”

“What, no I don’t,” says Eddie. 

“No, it’s good. It’s better than whats-her-name.”

Eddie looks down at himself, thoroughly-researched curves straining at the satiny bodice and a manicured hand still resting on Steve’s arm. “Maybe you just need to get to know Johanna,” he says. “She’s a hell of a dame.”

“Sure.” Steve winks. “Tell her to give me a ring sometime.”

“Oh my god, why are you hanging out with projections,” says Mike freaking Wheeler, popping up like a bad penny in a cater waiter outfit. “Steve, go talk to the mark! We’re running out of time!”

“Okay, okay, sheesh,” says Steve, pushing away from the bar.

“Jesus, Wheeler, we’re two levels down. We got plenty of time,” says Eddie, pointedly not watching Steve weaving through his crowd. 

“Wait, is—are you—Eddie?” The kid is openly gawking at Johanna. 

“Eyes up here, champ,” says Eddie. “This is Johanna Berger, and she’s here to make sure everything goes according to plan. Also, she’s here to look appropriately and publicly devastated at the tragic death of her husband, because the yacht club wives are getting gossipy.” 

“Whoa,” says Wheeler. “That…wasn’t in the briefing.”

“Keep up, yeah? You’re in the dreamshare business, the briefing never covers everything.” Eddie puts a tray of champagne flutes in Wheeler’s hands and snags one for Johanna as Wheeler fumbles to keep from dropping the rest. 

Johanna sips the champagne. It doesn’t taste like anything at all. 

“Darling,” she says. “If you learn to let dreams surprise you, I think you will have a better life, yes?” 

Across the room, Steve looks up from charming the mark. He smiles at Johanna, just a quick and completely unprofessional flash of teeth before turning his attention back to a Connecticut banker who probably wouldn’t have a hope in hell of catching Steve’s attention in the waking world.

Or maybe that’s Steve’s type. Maybe he’s got some smart, boring wife in a conservative pantsuit tucked away somewhere. Maybe she comes home every day like clockwork to a hot meal and freshly-bathed children and has absolutely no idea that her trophy husband inhabits dreamscapes in his spare time. 

No, he is better than that, thinks Johanna. In my soul I know that he deserves better. I would take him away from such a woman in an instant.

Which is just—

Okay, so Steve Harrington might be a slightly bigger problem than Eddie’d thought.

*“Zero, Eddie! Zero rogues, zero secret Cinderellas, whatever that means, zero drama. Just assume the answer is always going to be zero with this guy!”

“Then what’s the goddamn point, Henderson?”

“Uh, maybe the nice fat paycheck coming our way?”

At this point, Eddie can either admit that he isn’t actually in it for the money (gross, not an option) or subside into a sulky silence. So: zero dashing rogues. It’s fine. He’s not bitter at all.

[xamaxenta]

This might be too late soz but to go off of the modeling au too Ace is more than used to hearing sexual and objectifying remarks his entire life, even when he modeled as a kid.

And Marco’s like,, the only person who’s never said anything to him even remotely bad?? Ace thinking like ‘well that’s his job Ace of course he wouldn’t slap your ass and say nice work hot stuff when you finish a rep’ but there’s just something,, different with Marco. Even when Marco has to touch him either to position him or show him something or just a quick gentle massage, his hands are always nice and big and warm and don’t wander or linger and it’s a comforting, grounding touch and he misses the contact whenever Marco’s hands leave him

Its never too late to talk about any au on this blog anon im very happy to rocket around them

Yeah like Ace would catch feelings so fast and hard like i cannot misjudge and twist this mans kindness and professionalism as anything but that! He’s just doing his job!

But he’s also a little sad like I can’t believe this is what its come down to im just being dramatic, but im just tired of being so obviously desired i guess :((

In model aus i like to think he’s friends or acquaintances with Hancock who absolutely understands Ace’s plight, and thus has the extreme rule of only working with women, all staff must be women no men whatsoever

Ace is the exception because he was immediately respectful of her space and didnt seem to give a shit about who she was and then after talking to him realises he was very much in the same boat as her, too attractive; too desired, too

Objectified .

But yeah Ace texts her like help me i think im losing my head

Hancock: over?

Ace: my physical therapist

Hancock: ?

Ace: hes nice, he doesnt overstep, he’s never made any sort of comment

Hancock: wow, sounds like a keeper

Ace: i just want to know if im mistaking his kindness and warping it to my own wants

Hancock: what do you want from this then?

Ace: dunno. Him ?

Hancock: be careful, men are sly and cunning

Ace: i know

[over-on-the-bench]

OMG A FELLOW HERMITCRAFT ENJOYER OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG YESSSS MORE MCYT BLOCK MEN OKEE WHAT HERMITS DO U WATCH ALSO DO U WATCH EMPIRES TOO OR JUST HERMITCRAFT I MA FORCING YOU TO INTERACT W ME ISTG I THINK IM HYPERFIXATIONF ONG THE BLOCK MEN AND I CANT FINIGN TYPE O WRITE BLACK INSTEAD OF BLOCK 💀💀💀💀💀💀 HELPPPPPPP

Also random fact about me: I read "hhhgsnfs" as someone who's trying to shit and it won't come out

Soz for the mental image :(

AAAA IVE BEEN AMBUSHED- /j

OKAY SO HI DUDE, I DO NOT KNOW YOU BUT I AM OH SO WILLING TO TALK ABOUT THE HERMITS. IVE BEEN EXTREMELY BUSY LATELY AND HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO CATCH UP HOWEVER. I WATCH THEORIONSOUND (yes i do have a little jig whenever he posts. /hj) AND GOODTIMESWITHSCAR. I ALSO WATVH THE LIFE SERIES FROM GRIANS POV AND EMPIRES S1 FROM JOEYS, JOELS AND JIMMYS POVS. CALL ME STRANGE BUT I ALSO WATCH SOME DSMP MEMBERS (legit only ponk. my little silly,,) ANYWAYS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU STRANGER!! IM OWEN!!

[monumentalslutt]

i feel so like embarrassed saying this like i feel so cringe i swear i don’t mean this in pick me cringe embarassing way but i feel like most ppl don’t get what i mean when i say i get really angry, brah my anger just as extreme as my weird hyper moods and weird emo moods like that’s the level it be on it’s just i never am that angry in public no one has pissed me off to that level (to my face at least these damn mfs be sassy as fuck over text tjough but lose they balls in person) anyways yeah i don’t like how nobody gets that i be getting that emotionally angry too i just am not gonna randomly start screaming in public i have social awareness mate i’m not a freak unless i get really upset but then i normally start crying bcs im like wtf everyone’s looking at me and i get super upset and angry cry 😢 i hate when i angry cry bcs it makes me feel like a pussy ass bitch and then it makes me more angry and i cry more but normally my dad or 💞 or ☕️ you know all the ppl i’ve been around when i’m angry crying gives me a hug and i feel better so maybe i angry cry when im only angry bcs like i need a hug and when i’m just like fuck u i hate u angry like tryna hurt their feelings angry then idk soz i’m stoned and i don’t even know why i’m talking abojt me being angry wtf thags so weird see why do i always have the urge to share unnecessary stupid shit abt mhself i needa learn to just keep ro myself a lil more just in general i don’t need to talk so much lately i’ve also really started hating how talkative i can get it geniunely makes me dislike myself like why do i do that that’s sp embarrassing, but i’ve actually been getting way better at doing it to people i just realised, OMG YIPPEE i literally share here where only teana could ever see it sometimes i wish i made my ex download tumblr but then i remind mhself he definitely doesn’t care enough to be checkin on my tumblr omg ok i feel sad 🤬 how am i gonna have no marijuana no vape NUTHIN for 3 weeks straight starting TOMORROW ima start shaking and sweating like a tweaker

[dnpg]

did dan deleted every truth or dare except the first one, or are they just unlisted? i can only find a link to the first one :')

Yeah sadly he did private/delete all but the first truth or dare ☹️

[livingecho-arch]

4, 13, & 20 !

OOPS I MEANT 12 FOR THE MUNDAY PROMPT SOZ

ansem does munday  &  actually answers them instead of hoarding them in his inbox ! ( a day late edition ) 

∗ O4﹕ what  is  your  primary  source  of  inspiration  for  [ character ] ?

my own ego is the primary source for his personality ! just an extreme version of it ! he is also based on my partner ( @wolfsign ) at the start ? really what's left of that is a love for education and the physical appearance . ( brown hair , hazel eyes which i made gold , and i only gave vis two of frosty’s beauty marks . frosty also grew out their hair whereas vis chopped theirs off . ) 

i also love my bitchy flamboyant villains and vis has that energy 

∗ 12﹕ do  you  prefer  extensive  plotting ,  or  writing  things  on  a  whim ?

i almost always write on whim lol . even when i do plot i dont go into heavy details –– just ‘ hey i got an idea what if we did this ? ’ mostly cause im too excited to plot it out i suppose ? i am willing to ! if someone wants to discuss character interactions a little more before we begin a thread thats 100% cool beans ! 

∗ 20﹕ has  your  view  of  your  muse  changed  while  you’ve  been  writing  them ?

that i wanna kiss them more and more .  they got sooooo much more detailed and im kinda shocked at the character development even though im the one in charge ? vis was a funky little side character and than he took over the comic and is the main character now oops . very vis of them lol 

will say im more curious how others view will change once their story is relieved ! will you all still be like ‘ yes queeen !!! ’ or ya gonna beat their ass ? 

[i-finally-watched-it]

The Finest Hours (2016)

dir. Craig Gillespie

The Coast Guard makes a daring rescue attempt off the coast of Cape Cod after a pair of oil tankers are destroyed during a blizzard in 1952. (via IMDb)

Highlight/s: Those sweet sweet non-rhotic New England accents 😚👌🏻; Over the past couple years it seems that whenever I pick a movie from my list at random, or decide to watch a new movie/series instead, a wild Beau Knapp appears. I honestly feel like

whenever I watch anything these days sjfjskjhjsk and the exact same thing has been happening with Kyle Gallner for years now and they're BOTH in this movie! Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, they're great! But it seems I can't escape either of them lately 😂; I finally realised who Josh Stewart reminds me of - Paul McGann sjhfkdjfjdkhf; Black queer icon & fellow Aussie Keiynan Lonsdale? In a Disney film? A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one 🥳; It's also always fun seeing other fellow Aussie Eric Bana in serious Hollywood roles because he started out in Australian comedy in the 90s and I can't help hearing this whenever I see him 😂

Will I watch it again? Hmmmmsjfjjshfhdjshfjskjsfk idk.

Rating: 👍🏻👎🏻

Lowlight/s: (under the cut)

I know the sexism & shit is realistic for the period, I know it is, but it grinds the everloving piss out of my gears regardless; ALSO why the fuck didn't we get to see Bernie (Chris Pine) & Mel (Beau Knapp) reunite at the end??? They were besties and the only reason Mel stayed behind (reluctantly) was because he had the sniffles. Do you mean to tell me that he wouldn't have gone outside with everyone else when the boat came in - the freezing cold & his health be damned for a minute - to greet his friend who could have died at any moment while Mel was busy being a human burrito sipping hot cocoa (idk) while listening to what's going on out on the water over the radio, never certain he'll see his friends again, not able to do anything to help them, in the safety & comfort of the Coast Guard station???? Uhhh bullshit. Of course he would've gone out there!!! So where the hell was he????? Asleep in the lunch room suddenly???? *desk flip*

Fellas, is it gay to say hi to your best friend and hug hi- oh, it is? Silly me haha. Then we better make sure it's crystal clear for the audience that Bernie is definitely going to marry a woman to remind them he's 110% straight and a man and has absolutely nobody else he cares about or who care about him, and we need to definitely not show even five seconds of affection between two male friends! ☹

While we're on this subject (I'm on a roll now so can't stop til I say this lol soz) I was reminded during the film how toxic masculinity limits the acceptable feelings men can express, without fear of ridicule, to anger & lust... except if they're in the middle of disasters or other traumatic events, e.g. war, then it's way more acceptable for men to be scared & to cry & be vulnerable & concerned for the emotional wellbeing of other men. And rightly so, they're human after all and those situations suck. It's scary and painful watching your friends be hurt/die right in front of you and to also be staring death in the face yourself with very limited options & chance of survival. Men more readily accept and are even moved by these expressions when they see it in these extreme situations, but as soon as it appears in the context of Normal Everyday Life the response is "don't be such a girl, grow some balls". *sigh* The patriarchy is on nobody's side in the end. Cishet dudes help us burn it down challenge!

And, of course, there's nothing wrong with the little romantic subplot - it's the fact that Hollywood constantly locks platonic love in the trunk and takes romance on a nice Sunday drive that makes my blood boil.

[helloalycia]

cheater [one] | kara danvers

summary: after catching your girlfriend cheating on you, kara happens to be there for you when you've never felt more alone

warning/s: cheating I guess?

author's note: there's another two parts to this because it was pretty long and I had to split it lol soz guys

part two | part three | masterlist | wattpad

       "I think that's a wrap," Kara said with relief, smiling as she closed her notebook. "I can begin writing this up tomorrow."

      "I can't wait to read it," I told her honestly, returning her smile. "You've got the quotes, you've got the story, you've got the pictures. It can't go wrong."

      Kara chuckled as she began to pack up. "You're right. Thank you for staying late with me to help me finish the prep. I owe you."

      "It's nothing." I waved her off as I also stood up and packed away. "You've helped me out a ton of times. It's the least I could do."

      She didn't say anything, but the appreciative smile on her lips said enough. I checked the time on one of the many clocks hung on the walls of CatCo and decided to give my girlfriend a quick call.

      "Hello?"

      "Anna, love, hey," I said, an automatic smile appearing on my lips. "What are you doing right now? I thought we could hang out tonight. I know it's late, but Kara and I finished up some work so I thought I could stop by."

      Anna sounded tired as she answered, "Aw, babe, I'm glad that you got your work done, but I'm half asleep between episodes of The Office and I don't think I can stay awake long enough to do something. I'm sorry."

      I shook my head, despite being on the phone. "Oh, no, it's okay, no need to apologise. I'll leave you to it... I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

      "See you tomorrow," she replied. "Love you."

      "I love you, too," I said, before hanging up.

      "That Anna?" Kara asked, glancing up at me as she grabbed her bag. "She doing good? I haven't seen much of her lately."

      "Yeah, she's good, she's been busy sorting out that new summer segment for the fashion section," I said, pocketing my phone and grabbing my own bag.

      "Oh, yeah, I saw, that looks pretty cool," Kara nodded as the two of us began to walk to the lift.

      "Yeah," I agreed, a little half-heartedly.

      It went quiet as the two of us rode the lift down to the lobby, until Kara suddenly spoke up.

      "Hey, erm, since you've not got plans, do you want to maybe get some ice cream?" she asked, before a confused smile appeared on her face as if she was unsure to why she was asking me in the first place.

      I smiled with amusement. "I guess, yeah. Bit random, I must admit."

      Kara rubbed the back of her neck as she glanced down at her shoes. "Yeah, well, I'm in the mood for something sweet. And it can be my treat. Y'know, for helping me."

      I shrugged, still smiling. "I won't say no to free ice cream."

      She met my eyes, a glint of excitement in her own. "Great. I know a place. It's a little out, but it's really good."

      As we walked out of the lift, I nodded. "You know your food, Danvers, you have all of my trust."

      She laughed, giving me a glance before leading me outside to hail a taxi.

      I'd hung out with Kara a handful of times – we worked together and naturally became work friends, so I was used to her random ideas and acts of kindness from her. So, allowing her to take me to get ice cream downtown at almost midnight was definitely a little out there, but nothing too unusual.

      "What d'you think?" Kara asked, a massive grin on her face that made her blue eyes sparkle.

      "This is really good," I admitted, chuckling when I saw her first pump.

      "I knew you'd love it," she said, before accepting her own ice cream cone off the salesman.

      "You know what you'd love?" I asked, a thought coming to mind. She hummed as she dove into her ice cream, unable to speak. I smiled with amusement as I continued. "Mr Whippy."

      "Mr what-y?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

      "Mr Whippy," I repeated, noting her urge to laugh. "It's an ice cream we have back in England. You get it from ice cream vans in the summer and it's basically a soft, white ice cream. They put sherbet, sprinkles and whatever sauce you want on it. Usually raspberry though. Then they add a flake and it's complete! It's the best thing ever. Immediate sugar rush. You'd love it."

      "Sounds like my kind of thing," she said, eagerly.

      "Definitely," I agreed, walking out of the ice cream shop with her.

      "Right now though, this is definitely hitting the spot..."

      I stopped listening to Kara as I looked ahead and furrowed my eyebrows. There was a restaurant opposite the ice cream shop and it looked like my girlfriend was sat inside, laughing over dinner with another girl. Huh..?

      "...and you're not listening. What's up, Y/N?"

      Kara followed my gaze and judging by the way she tensed up, my thoughts were confirmed. I wasn't imagining it – Anna was definitely sat there with another girl. Or should I say she was now kissing another girl.

      "Y/N... I don't... I..."

      Kara hesitated, unsure what to say, but I could feel her staring at me with pity.

      I reached for my phone and called Anna, waiting as it rang. I looked up and saw Anna interrupting sucking face with a girl who I didn't recognise to check her phone. I swallowed the lump in my throat as she checked the caller ID and declined the call, before getting back to the girl she was with. I chewed on the inside of my mouth as I locked my phone, forcing myself to look away.

      "Y/N–"

      "Am I alright to go home?" I asked, my voice surprisingly quiet and steady.

      Kara tried to meet my eyes, but I avoided hers, embarrassed enough as it was.

      "Yeah, of course," she replied, squeezing my arm gently. "I'll get you a cab. Come on."

      I nodded and followed her, but not before glancing behind me one last time. I don't know if I expected to not see anything, but that wasn't the case. Anna was still sat there with somebody else, leaning into her and laughing at whatever.

      She was still cheating and I was still left hurting.

***

      My eyes were glued to my computer screen when I heard her voice, calling for me like usual. Except it wasn't like usual because now I knew the truth.

      "Babe, I thought I'd drop by your desk and see how you're doing." Anna leaned down and tried to kiss me, but I moved my head, resulting in her kissing my cheek. She frowned as she pulled away. "Hey, I'm sorry about last night..." No, you're not. "I know you wanted to hang out, but I was falling asleep." No, you weren't. "But you hung out with Kara, right? You said you got ice cream?" Yeah and I saw you cheat on me. "Sounds fun!"

      I swallowed hard and forced a small smile as I looked up to her. I tried to understand how this woman who I'd grown to love could throw it all away as if it meant nothing, so she could be with someone else? If she wanted to break up with me, she should have just done it. I would have preferred that over being cheated on and used like an accessory. I used to look at her and feel love. Now all I felt was pain.

      "It's okay, I did end up going out with Kara," I said, maintaining my voice and any stutter. "It was nice. But I was thinking that maybe we could go out for lunch today? If you're not too busy?" Too busy making out with other girls.

      "That sounds great," she agreed, a plastic smile on her face. "I'll see–"

      "Sorry to interrupt," a woman approached, and I widened my eyes when I realised it was the woman from last night. She was the new fashion intern. "Miss Fox, we need you to look at the layout for this week's issue. It's a group effort."

      I felt my mouth go dry as I looked between them both. They were smiling innocently, but their eyes spilled a million secrets. She was cheating on me with the intern?

      "How many times have I told you, Katy, you can call me Anna," Anna said, playfully. "I'm not that much older than you."

      "Right," Katy agreed, playing the part. "My apologies, Anna."

      "I should get going," Anna said, looking to me with a smile, "but I'll see you here in a few hours to get lunch."

      I nodded, unable to get words out without screaming. Anna blew a kiss towards me before following Katy out of here. My stomach turned at how many times I'd seen them together in the past and how I never knew. I didn't notice Katy much – I was a news reporter, not fashion. I rarely saw her. But she saw me evidently. Everybody at CatCo knew Anna and I were together, so she wasn't exactly in the dark. She was knowingly with my girlfriend. And knowingly playing me, just like Anna.

      I tried not to let that sour thought disrupt me from my work, but it was hard. I felt like somebody was sitting on my chest, squeezing it tighter and tighter and making me extremely uncomfortable. I just had to make it to lunch, where I would confront Anna and make her admit that she was cheating on me. That she was a horrible fucking person. That she broke my heart and that she broke me. She... she broke me.

      Lunch time rolled around soon enough and I found myself walking towards Noonan's with Anna when I stopped us from going any further. Every second more I spent pretending I didn't know felt like a disgusting coat of shame I was carrying. I didn't know how she did it – the very thought made me feel revolting. I couldn't even walk to the coffee shop with her, let alone sit through a lunch with her. I had to do it now.

      "Why did we stop?" Anna asked, confused as she turned around to look at me. "What's–"

      "You're cheating on me," I blurted out, before breathing out slowly. No going back now.

      "What?" she played dumb, raising her eyebrows. "Y/N, are you crazy?"

      I clenched my jaw, shaking my head. How could she keep pretending, even when I called her out on it?

      "I saw you last night," I said, meeting her eyes. I needed to see the realisation in hers when she knew I knew the truth. The guilt, if any. "Kara took me to an ice cream place downtown. Not somewhere I usually go. But you knew that. That's why you took Katy to dinner down there. Right?"

      Her mouth closed slowly as she stared at me with a blank expression, but I could see the desperation creeping in her eyes.

      "How– how long has this been going on for?" I asked, cursing inwardly at my stutter.

      "It's not what you think," Anna tried to amend the situation.

      "I saw you kiss her!" I shouted angrily, earning the attention of some bystanders, but I didn't care. "And you declined my call! I'm not stupid, Anna! Now, how long?"

      She looked down to her shoes, purposely avoiding my eyes. "A few months..."

      I breathed out through my nose, feeling my heart begin to ache. A few months. She was with somebody else whilst with me for a few months.

      "Are you sleeping with her?"

      "Y/N, what good will this do you?" she asked, trying to divert the question.

      "None of this is doing me any good, but I deserve to know," I told her sternly, containing my anger. And I'll know just how stupid I was to trust you.

      Anna didn't answer straight away, but eventually, I saw her nod slightly. So, that answers that then. She was sleeping with another woman whilst being in a relationship with me. Lovely.

      "I'm sorry," she muttered, finally lifting her eyes to mine. "I didn't want you to find out like this."

      "Sounds like you didn't want me to find out at all," I got out, my voice cracking.

      My eyesight was getting blurry and that's when I realised that I couldn't contain my emotions for much longer. I needed to go. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of watching me get upset.

      "I don't want you to speak to me unless it's work-related," I told her calmly.

      "Y/N, please let me explain–"

      "I mean what I said," I snapped, before turning to leave.

      I speed-walked away, hoping to God that she wasn't following me. If she was, she would have seen me wipe the stray tears from my face and suck up a deep shaky breath.

      When returning to the office, I made sure I looked presentable in the toilets before heading to my desk. On the way, I passed Kara at her desk and caught her gaze.

      After getting a taxi home last night, I never really spoke to her this morning and I felt a little guilty for just leaving so suddenly. She must have felt very awkward to be with me as I found out Anna's secret. I wanted to apologise, but I didn't trust myself right now because I was still pretty sensitive from before.

      Kara flashed me a concerned smile, to which I returned with the most convincing smile I could muster, before I headed to my desk to get on with some work.

      I didn't see Anna or Katy for the rest of the day which I was glad for – now if only that could last the rest of my life. I did see Kara however, who kindly decided to stop by my desk towards the end of the day.

      "Hey...," she greeted, hanging by my desk but not quite committing to staying.

      I appreciated her thoughtfulness and decided to give her my full attention, hoping she'd get the hint she could stay. "Hey, Kara."

      She offered a small smile as she sat at the edge of my desk. Concern flashed in her eyes though, as she asked, "How are you doing?"

      I pursed my lips, ignoring the sharp pain in my heart. "I'm fine."

      Kara nodded, and I almost thought she would accept my answer and leave it there, but then she looked back to me with a nervous look.

      "I know it's not any of my business, but did you talk to Anna about... you know?"

      I nodded slowly, eyes flickering to my desk. "Yeah. I did."

      I looked up when I felt Kara's hand rest on mine, giving it a gentle squeeze.

      "I'm sorry," she said, a frown on her lips. "About what happened."

      "You don't need to say sorry for anything," I said with a careless shrug, before adding, "but I'm sorry for letting it ruin our evening. I was having fun for what it's worth."

      Kara cracked a small sad smile. "It didn't ruin anything. I just want you to know that I'm here for you. If you wanna talk about it. Or if you just want to hang out and not talk about it at all. Either way..."

      "You're here."

      "Yeah."

      "Thanks." I looked up and met her eyes. They were kind and generous and thoughtful all at once, making me feel like I wasn't completely alone.

      She nodded, her smile still present, before standing up and saying, "I'll leave you to it then."

      "Bye, Kara."

***

      It hadn't even been a day when Anna tried to talk to me again. She obviously didn't respect me enough, nor feel any amount of guilt enough to leave me the hell alone like I asked.

      "Can we talk?" she asked for the millionth time, standing in front of my desk, looking down at me with pleading eyes. "Please, Y/N."

      I stayed quiet, continuing to ignore her and instead look at my computer screen. I didn't want to speak to her because I had nothing more to say, and she knew that. She broke my heart and I was just trying to forget about it. Forget about her. I couldn't do that if she wouldn't leave me alone!

      "Y/N, you have to let me say something," she tried again, making me roll my eyes. "I want to make this right. Or at least explain!"

      I gritted my teeth as I tried to keep up my act of pretending she didn't exist. It was growing increasingly difficult however.

      "Y/N–"

      "Hey, guys," Kara swooped in out of nowhere, and I looked up, never more glad to see her face than I was now. She glanced between Anna and I before directing her question at me. "Everything okay?"

      I caught sight of Anna rolling her eyes in my peripheral, making me squeeze my hands together with annoyance.

      "Yes, everything's fine, Danvers," she spoke up, a hint of frustration laced in her voice. "We're just talking. Do you mind?"

      Kara pursed her lips in response, merely ignoring Anna's passive aggressiveness and instead looking to me for a response. I gave her a pleading look and she nodded subtly before smiling.

      "Y/N, you up for that coffee run yet?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

      Already locking my computer and grabbing my bag, I nodded and stood up. "Yeah, sounds good."

      Anna groaned quietly as I walked around her to stand by Kara. She tried to reach out to me, but I stepped back as if she had the plague and thankfully, Kara stepped between us, staring her down.

      I didn't know what she did, but it seemed to work as Anna backed off, letting Kara and I walk away. I breathed out with relief as we headed to the lift, feeling grateful for the blonde's presence.

       “Thanks for that," I said when we were in the lift. I looked up to meet her eyes, offering a small smile.

      She returned the smile, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Any time."

      Kara was a kind person. It was something I'd always known, I mean, we always helped each other out with our articles and she was always interested in what was new with me at work. We were good friends, but since breaking up with Anna, I truly saw how much our friendship meant to her. A lot more than I thought, apparently.

***

      A week had passed since I broke up with her and I was trying very hard not to concern myself with why we broke up. If I sat for too long thinking about the fact that I obviously wasn't good enough for her, or that she would have rather strung me along whilst with someone else than break up with me, or how how I was evidently a shitty girlfriend to be faithful to, then I would have broken down. And I didn't want to be one of those girls who cried her heart out because of a break up. I refused to be that girl, be that cliché.

      But sometimes clichés are clichés for a reason.

      I was signing off on a parcel at the reception on our floor when I felt Kara's presence beside me.

       “Hey," she greeted me. "How are things?"

      She'd been checking in on me whenever she saw me around the office, and even took me out for lunch and coffee when she could. I knew what she was doing and I appreciated it a lot. She truly was a blessing.

      I smiled, looking up at her. She was already staring at me with sparkling blue eyes.

      "I'm good, Kara," I assured her. "Especially since you asked me twenty minutes ago when you stopped by my desk."

      She pressed her lips together into a sheepish smile as she looked down to her shoes with embarrassment. One of the few reasons left to smile was Kara's silly antics, and I found it amusing that she felt the need to constantly make sure I was okay. It was cute.

      "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure," she said, making me chuckle.

      "It's cool," I said, accepting my parcel from the receptionist.

      I was ready to walk back to my desk, but the sight of Anna and Katy kissing behind Kara caught my attention. I forgot how to breathe for a moment, feeling like the wind had been smacked out of me, as I saw them making out. She'd moved on already, with the girl she'd cheated on me with. Because she'd done that. Cheated on me. She cheated on me.

      I noticed a few people in the hall glancing between them and I, evidently picking up on the fact that we were no longer together. It didn't take a genius to know what they were thinking – I was pathetic. I was supposed to move past all of this, but seeing Anna there, absolutely fine... I couldn't take it anymore. I was sick of bottling it up.

      Kara glanced behind her, following my gaze, and gasped a little. I felt my throat close up, my cheeks heating up with embarrassment. I felt like an idiot.

      "I'm sorry, I've gotta go," I croaked out, neglecting my parcel at the reception desk and backing up.

      Kara spun around to me again, her eyes widened with pity. I hated it, knowing she felt bad for me. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat as I walked away, eventually running to the toilets so I could escape this suffocating situation.

      Fresh tears were flowing from my eyes when I reached the toilets. Thankfully, the cubicles were empty and nobody was here to see me look so pathetic. I stopped by the sinks and clutched my stomach, feeling sick.

      My hands began to shake and it was as if all the pain from the past week had reached its boiling point and was spilling over. My heart felt like it was crumbling, the image of Anna and Katy kissing playing in my mind over and over. She didn't want me anymore. She stopped wanting me a long time ago.

      I looked to the toilet door when I heard it open, glad to see it was just Kara, though I was still embarrassed because of what she was seeing.

      She stopped when she saw me, frowning as she took in my appearance. "Oh, Y/N."

      I shook my head, one hand still clutching my stomach tightly. "I– I don't understand h– how somebody can do that."

      She didn't know what to say, but when she stepped forward, I moved towards her, falling into her embrace. She held me close as I cried into her arms, finally letting it all out. It felt good to stop avoiding my pain. But it hurt a lot. I was convinced my heart would never recover.

      Kara simply held me, rubbing circles on my back and telling me it would be okay. I wasn't sure if I believed her, but she had a special talent of making you want to. She was warm and comforting and her voice was soft and inviting. I wanted to believe her.

      I wasn't sure how long we stayed like that, but I eventually ran out of tears, leaving only pure embarrassment as I pulled away from Kara. I avoided her eyes as she kept ahold of my hands, squeezing them comfortingly.

      "I think I'm gonna take you home, Y/N," she said quietly, and I could feel her eyes piercing through me. "Is that okay?"

      I wanted to tell her it was okay to leave me. That I'd be fine and I could get home myself. I didn't need her help. But the truth was, I didn't want her to leave. Not now. I didn't want to be alone.

      I nodded and she breathed out a little, keeping ahold of one of my hands as she held me out of the toilets. I kept my eyes glued to the floor as she told me to wait on the side as she went to grab my bag and hers. It didn't take her long to join my side again, grasping my hand in hers.

      She ended up taking me back to my flat, coming inside with me and sitting me on the couch. I was surprised that she joined me.

      "When you're ready to talk, I'll be here," she said, and I looked up to see her watching me with certainty. "Even if you don't want to talk, I'll be here."

"Thank you, Kara," I said, my voice dry, making me clear my throat.

      "Come on, we can watch some TV," she said, moving forward to grab the remote off the coffee table.

      She flicked between the channels and eventually settled on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. It played for the next ten minutes or so, but I wasn't listening. I was trapped in my own thoughts, unable to stop thinking about how I ended up here. How I ended up crying over somebody who I once loved. This time last week, we were happy. And now... now I didn't know what to do.

      "Y/N," Kara said, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked up and she was frowning, moving forward to wipe away some tears from my face. I didn't even realise I'd been crying again.

      "She did something wrong, yet I'm the one suffering," I said quietly, swallowing hard. "How is that fair?" I paused, my fingers fidgeting uncomfortably. "How is it fair that she's making me feel insecure about myself? I feel like... I feel like this is my fault... I know it's not, but... but it feels like it is. She... she cheated on me. It had to have been my fault. Nobody just cheats..."

      "You're not to blame, Y/N," Kara said, resting a hand on my fidgeting ones. They stopped. "You did nothing wrong, you hear me? Cheating on somebody is disgusting. There's no justification. She's the one who should feel insecure. It's all her fault and... gosh, one second."

      She let go of me and pulled her phone from her pocket, raising it to her ear. "Alex, what's up?" I watched as she seemed tense, turning around slightly. "But you can handle it, right? ...No, I'm with Y/N... I'd prefer not to... You've got this... Okay, thanks. Let me know how it goes later... Bye."

      She turned around and pocketed her phone, relaxing into her seat. "Sorry about that."

      "You can go if you need to," I said, feeling guilty for keeping her. "It sounded important."

      "No, no, it wasn't," she said, waving her hand, before peering at me with sincerity. "I'm here. And I was saying how none of this is your fault. It's hers. She should feel horrible."

      "She seems pretty happy with Katy," I pointed out, smiling sadly. "I'm the one crying on the couch."

      "Because you actually have feelings unlike some people." Kara shook her head. "This isn't your fault. I can promise you that. I know it's hurts. It will. Because you loved her. But you'll get through it. It won't hurt forever."

      "You make it sound easy."

      She cracked a small smile. "I know it's not. But you're not alone."

      "You've said."

      "Well, I mean it."

      "I know." I rested my hand on hers and met her eyes. "Thank you for being here. I don't know if it's because you feel obligated to, since you were there when I found out, but–"

      "That's not it," she cut me off.

      "Well, thank you," I finished, nodding slightly. "You're gonna get sick of my face eventually, but I'll make the most of having you around, Danvers."

      "You can't get rid of me that easily, Y/L/N," she joked, leaning forward to pull me in for a side hug. "I'm–"

      "Here, I got it."

      "Doesn't seem like it."

      I couldn't help but smile as I glanced up at the blonde, seeing the amusement dancing in her blue eyes.

      "There's that smile I missed," she pointed out, grinning down at me.

      I rolled my eyes and faced the TV again, but my smile was still present. I wasn't getting rid of Kara and I wasn't complaining. I didn't want to be alone and she was better company than I could have asked for. God bless Kara Danvers.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Ready for 💔 💔 💔? Jimmy: didn't bring a 🎻 in but there'll probably be a 🌧 about in a bit so go on Janis: Clearly you didn't watch enough back to school hauls to adequately prepare yourself Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: you'll never guess who found her way to the 'how to catch a man' side of youtube though Jimmy: if it's Helena I really am fucking gutted Janis: Unlikely Janis: less she starts making a big deal out of how her MASSIVE TITS are slowly crippling her Janis: 🐰 has gone full 🐰🥘🥣 Jimmy: what the fuck kind of emojis are them? Janis: it's not my fault there's not a decent pot! Janis: also pretend to be gutted or she will be Jimmy: [draws her a lil pot emoji obvs] Jimmy: Who's pretending? 😭😭😭 Jimmy: have to console thinking about Helena's MASSIVE tits Janis: 👏 dead convincing there Janis: like 💀👑 trying to talk her out of it 'cos she's FUMING Jimmy: should've asked me to do the job for her Janis: check your DMs I'm sure she has Jimmy: [sends her some of the hilarious random DMs he has been sent lately like a highlight reel] Janis: the 💦💦 is endless Janis: you're SUCH old 🗞s Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: at least you don't have to waste a load of 💸 on tat for her in a months time Janis: which is the only reason she's decided to get in a VERY committed relationship with a 13-year-old in the year below Jimmy: Tah for the reminder to crack on with this fake break up before then Jimmy: good job our kid's young as he is or I'd have to 🔐 Janis: I'm the one doing the breaking up, remember that first Janis: seriously though Janis: doing my head in Janis: get yourself 💐🍫 if you're this arsed gals Jimmy: 💰 on loads of 'em doing that Jimmy: should probably set up that 💌 bollocks you were on about before Janis: boys handwriting would be invaluable to 'em Janis: can't stop dotting their ❓ with ❤ Jimmy: can write with both hands an' all so it won't even be knackering Janis: show-off Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: just leave your shit chat up lines like that out Janis: dead giveaway Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I know what I'm doing Jimmy: just gotta decide who I wanna send ones that ain't been paid for to for the #drama Jimmy: and whose name I wanna 🖋 Janis: [list of the 'loved up' couples of the moment that ain't them] Janis: stick whoever you wanna see get smacked on there Janis: easy Jimmy: this school have a postbox for it or what? Janis: yeah Janis: any excuse to be cringe Jimmy: I'll make sure yours is MASSIVE, don't worry and a top work of 🎨 OBVS Jimmy: 😘 Janis: my biggest concern, OBVS Janis: if you're still here I can do it the day of for all the 💔 points for you Jimmy: we're all 🤞 Lucas'll get on the roof 💐🍫😍 and fall off but you might have to put up with ✨ pissing out all over you when you open a card from me and nowt else Jimmy: that's your 💔 Janis: looking for broken 🦴s Janis: disappointing but not surprising Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll get on the roof Janis: bet we can Jimmy: let's go then Janis: now? Jimmy: you got owt else on? Janis: obviously not Jimmy: so come on Janis: be easiest to get up there from outside the music room Janis: do you know where that is? Jimmy: direct me Janis: [do that] Janis: wait for me if you get there first Janis: sir is insisting I can't go piss because someone else just did, as if our bladders are connected Jimmy: can't do that to lasses hasn't he heard Jimmy: tell him you're about to 💀💀💀 of toxic shock Janis: sadly raging at him over my blob gives off big angry lesbian vibes Janis: and I don't actually have a bloody tampon to throw at him Janis: I'll just leave in a sec but he's being a twat Jimmy: have to be the fake pregnancy fall back AGAIN Janis: one up Asia's news a bit Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: how long ago were the PE cupboard 💕? Janis: I haven't got a diary Jimmy: 😱😱 It weren't the best day of your life! 😱😱 Janis: best OF the day, how about that? Jimmy: bit rude of Asia to nick your phone Jimmy: I get that she don't want her big day ruined but Janis: 😏 Janis: like she's suddenly a top codebreaker Jimmy: #plottwist Janis: 🤓🤓💕 you 2 Jimmy: you 2 more like Jimmy: her being a dickhead means she likes you, DUH Jimmy: must be what the phone nicking were really about Janis: plottwist, they're all massive gays Jimmy: they're going on about sleepovers whenever I open the group chat Janis: you're that cliche? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: just saying it won't be a massive plot twist Janis: in your dreams, dickhead Jimmy: *nightmares Janis: 👻 do I hear someone protesting? Jimmy: Bill's lurking about loads when I get fuck all 😴 he knows I ain't pissing about wasting what dreams I do have Janis: Nice of him to entertain you Jimmy: you've seen my other offers Jimmy: didn't fancy none of them Janis: Fair Janis: he's got some witty bants at least Jimmy: he does alright Janis: better than the alternatives Janis: if I had a sleeping pill hookup, I'd take 'em myself Jimmy: you wanna watch out on that roof, mate, dunno how he'll feel about such a backhanded compliment Jimmy: steady on, bit rude to all the 🐑 hanging about for you to count, that Jimmy: how many #haters you want? Janis: you can pretend you pushed me if you're worried Jimmy: I 💭 that were the point of going up there Jimmy: no need to pretend owt Jimmy: we'll both be 💀💀💀 Janis: alright Janis: [show up] Jimmy: ['bit awkward if you've found a will to live' said like a saucy challenge] Janis: [just a look like does it look like I have? as much of a challenge as we try to find the way up onto the roof 'cos you know it's not that well hidden or secured] Jimmy: [a LOOK because always but we're also helping not just making intense eye contact forever lol] Janis: [remembering our sims school there was multiple levels so maybe you can get on the second story roof if not the third, anyway, letting you 'cos we can, even if you've got to do some lowkey parkour here, help each other and don't die] Jimmy: [it's a mood so we must, I hope your ribs are a bit more healed boy, don't do yourself further injury please] Janis: [rest when you're up there and we're just LOOKing at you like what now] Jimmy: [lighting up 🚬 for you both and doing heart shaped smoke rings because we're on a vday theme which you can totally show her how to do for some #content while you're up there] Janis: [can only imagine the funny face you're gonna have to pull to achieve that which thank god or it'd be too hot already] Jimmy: [all I can think about is when Liam and Edie were on the roof of that house they were staying in and he said he loved her so RIP me and them] Janis: [oh yes I remember that, soz we killed you guys] Jimmy: [anyway give her whatever doodle you've done today as well so she can have it in person cos I like to think you've not seen each other yet] Janis: [always love that, so much that we have to walk away and be peering over the edge dangerously just to diffuse that situation] Jimmy: [jimothy will probably pee over the edge just cos he can haha] Janis: [boy perks] Jimmy: [and they were talking about going for a piss and stuff like that always makes you want to] Janis: [you can't girl we're not falling off forreal, so hold it and contend with finding shit to throw onto the next roof down] Jimmy: [likewise join in with throwing stuff until there's nothing left and you can take your turn to LOOK at her like what now] Janis: [sharing that intense eye-contact for forever like] Jimmy: [we're not breaking it but we are pulling her closer to us] Janis: [writing 'morning' somewhere on his arm, whether we have to pull up his blazer or whatever to do that, we is] Jimmy: [writes 'good' on her in the same place because it is a good morning now we've seen the bae] Janis: [✔ like same] Jimmy: [teach her how to sign it because why not] Janis: ['we get it, you're good with your hands' 'cos mentioning being ambidexterous earlier and we KNOW so] Jimmy: [😏 and kiss her like excuse you I'm good at this too] Janis: [no room or energy to disagree here hen] Jimmy: [nobody's likely to appear and interrupt you up here lads so just enjoy that alone time] Janis: [we know we're gonna, even though it's January and this is scandalous because duh, how can we not] Jimmy: [you have done and will do way worse so] Janis: [should post those unfy smoking roof pics as we're getting down though so everyone knows you were up there but teachers can't actually prove that you were so] Jimmy: [if the teachers are checking your socials they'll get arrested hens] Janis: [easy mr lucas] Jimmy: [but yeah everyone will be well jel, blatantly gonna be a new thing for everyone to try and go to the roof now] Janis: [have fun getting caught losers lool] Jimmy: [not soz you'll never be JJ and living in a rom com] Janis: 😈 Jimmy: 😇🏹💕 Janis: You got the little nappy outfit ready to go, yeah? Jimmy: #kinkunlocked I get it Janis: 'course Janis: what girl wouldn't be 😍 Jimmy: 💀👑 probably prefers wearing them, THANK GOD she's not my target audience Janis: did she ever fake that she was 😍 over you? Jimmy: and have to put owt in the tip jar? Jimmy: SO funny, you Janis: cheek when she's allegedly the most minted Janis: making Asia make it rain 💦💸 Janis: mad she really don't fancy anyone who's not 50% of her though Jimmy: that'll be how she stays 💰💰💰 Janis: keep it in the family? Janis: 👍 Janis: bit extreme but Jimmy: if it were her only reason Jimmy: but she's OBVS 😍😍🤤 an' all Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: she in your lesson? Janis: Yeah Janis: and #2 Jimmy: What do you wanna do that'll do their heads in? Janis: 💡❓ Janis: all they keep talking about is Asia and her new boyfriend Janis: how do we pull focus from how un-goals that is when we're always 💯 Jimmy: could just break them up Janis: I'm not fucking a 13-year-old and I don't think it's a good look for you either Jimmy: never said we had to do owt with him but get in his head Jimmy: not like it'd be hard to convince the lad she's being a massive slag Janis: true, true Janis: she's only gone with him 'cos she knows he ain't gonna dump her because older girl clout Janis: and she wants the 🎁🎁 Janis: well rude Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: the school therapist'll be after him when Asia's done if Lucas ain't Janis: honestly Janis: only the right thing to do Jimmy: [edits some of the many Mia cheating pics they have to look like it could be Asia but in a pisstakey way because we're literally in class so we can't do it properly but like in a is this worth doing way] Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: that's nightmare fuel, for sure Janis: no wonder you ain't sleeping Jimmy: sleep paralysis demon, her Janis: terrifying, poor boy Janis: but she's got way too many pounds on 💀👑 for that to work Janis: 🤔 what if there was somewhere else he'd rather be Janis: no matter how 🔥 she reckons her 🍑 is Jimmy: not gonna get my sister with him now he's been anywhere near her Janis: Not exactly what I had in mind Janis: bit weird your head went there, tbh but still Janis: you wanna throw a party anyway, yeah Janis: why not do it then a fuck over any girl thinking she's getting a romantic date night? Jimmy: bit weird they're the same age @Asia with that one Jimmy: but DUH Janis: she's only 14, being fair Janis: sounding more and more like 💀👑 by the second Janis: obvs it goes against every dating rule she has so she's 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: feels dead wrong to split 'em up if that's what she wants Janis: at least it'd give them something else to chat about Janis: all this 💘 is making me sick already Jimmy: has to be a way to do that any road, it's fucking ages til we can have that party if we're doing it then Janis: yeah, I guess so Janis: well keep 💭 then Jimmy: I were 💭 what's another 🎁 that ain't another desk? Jimmy: any 🥇💡s? Janis: 'cos I just do this shit all the time Janis: I don't know Jimmy: Oi, don't be getting mardy with me, I only asked Janis: well don't bother asking questions I clearly don't have the answer to Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you already do all the drawings and far more shit than any lad they go out with Janis: like the whole point Janis: I don't know how we'd up that Jimmy: I said alright Janis: now who's being moody Jimmy: you Jimmy: that'll be why I'm leaving it out Janis: piss off then Jimmy: What's up with you? Janis: nothing, what's wrong with you? Jimmy: you're being a dickhead Janis: how am I? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: let's just drop it Janis: sure whatever lesson you're in is as equally thrilling as mine Jimmy: or just tell me what's wrong Jimmy: 'cause you were alright a bit ago Janis: I'm just Janis: it don't matter Janis: it's fine Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it can be Janis: 🤫 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: come on Janis: it's alright Janis: just everyone else getting on my nerves, as per Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what? Janis: be my mate Jimmy: I am Janis: sorry, alright Jimmy: what were it you said, it don't matter Janis: yeah but Janis: change the subject or something Jimmy: put me on the spot a bit there, dickhead Janis: 😏 Janis: but you're such a natural conversationalist Jimmy: it ain't my fault I can't stop thinking about you long enough to put a sentence together Janis: that's very smooth considering Janis: keep saying things like that, who wouldn't be jealous Jimmy: just how I feel, must not have as many dickheads in this lesson as you Jimmy: ☀ Janis: I'm not not thinking about you Janis: I just don't know what to do about that Janis: maybe less so Jimmy: What do you wanna do about it? Janis: how many lessons you reckon we can realistically walk out of? Jimmy: the rest of 'em Janis: Why are we even staying? Jimmy: we're not Janis: That is the best idea you've ever had Jimmy: I dunno, I reckoned the roof were a decent shout Jimmy: but I get it, soz it took me fucking ages Janis: You didn't get how I felt about the roof? Jimmy: 🤏 Jimmy: might've had some idea Janis: I can show you again but you know Janis: little rude Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Crap with words but there's loads else I can do Jimmy: I were gonna say I heard what I needed to up there but Jimmy: there's loads else I want to Janis: Don't be #overit yet Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: you just want me to 🗨 how not over it I am Janis: so? Jimmy: I already did do Janis: then I must've really meant it Jimmy: you've got nowt to worry about Janis: good Jimmy: Where we going? Janis: We can go to mine if you don't wanna go to yours Janis: or do you wanna go DO something Jimmy: be #goals whatever happens Jimmy: what do you wanna do? Janis: I'm not thinking about #goals even though that's true Janis: I am thinking about how many times I could make you cum on that fucking bus ride Janis: come to mine, no one will be there, so there's loads of things we can do Jimmy: I just meant that bit don't matter but if I were thinking it did before I don't now Jimmy: and you've already sold me on the fucking bus ride so owt else is a bonus Janis: 😁 seems like a bit of a pisstake but Jimmy: it won't be Jimmy: except for the 👵🚍👀 Janis: They go to town at the crack of dawn Janis: shouldn't be loads Janis: but I can make you forget about that as well Jimmy: I don't care if there is loads Jimmy: I told you, I can't stop thinking about you Janis: It's distracting Janis: you are Janis: but fuck this place anyway Jimmy: *you are Janis: you started it Janis: and I'm not sorry Jimmy: I'm not sorry I started it Janis: Good Janis: it's Janis: working for me Jimmy: you'll forget about whatever's doing your head in in a bit Janis: already have Jimmy: come here then Janis: only if you ask again Jimmy: please Janis: 😍 Janis: okay Janis: [run babies run] Jimmy: [I know you only just went back from the hols but fuck school tbh] Janis: [we aren't that bothered ever but truly, you're both smart enough to pass just fine, we got life to be living and love to be falling into] Jimmy: [got a really long bus ride to be extra through soz not soz it's a whole vibe] Janis: [we're about it, and we can show you the actual decent stuff about the cali residence 'cos it's not the place we dislike it's the people rn soz guys] Jimmy: [we all know it's a cool af house even if there are a 10000000000000 cats] Janis: [lmao, at least they gonna be less fussy than Twix so you'll be alright lads] Jimmy: [have a lovely time but probably avoid your room gal since we're not drunk af like we were on christmas eve] Janis: [we know there's nothing there to show it's fine, y'all can chill wherever you want] Jimmy: [love it for you, honestly surprised you ever bother going to school rn tbh] Janis: [only 'cos we clearly can't hang around mcvickers 'cos they're both old enough to be retired even if they're only semi-retired, and you have to take Bobby to school so like, may as well not like you can get extra shifts when they know you're 15 and not out of school] Jimmy: [and it's an easy way to be #goals as they've already proved with the desk escapades] Janis: [mhmm, and an excuse to see each other you so don't need now but you know] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [do we wanna do anything when they are at the gaff etc?} Jimmy: [probably nothing too heavy but if you've got anything you want to happen we can] Janis: [lbr, we know we're being cute af and saucy] Jimmy: [I'm devastated that you can't stay forever as will you be, but at least you'll have a fair while even with the long af bus which is only gonna be fun on the way there unless you're leaving together too] Janis: [you should probably stay gal as the school will call to say you went missing and you'd be better to deal with that rather than have her think you've run away again lol] Janis: 👋 Jimmy: [Gonna be fun going home to Ian, I hope for your sake boy you've got work for a bit first for that reprieve even though it'll probably make him angrier cos you're gone longer] Jimmy: 🥺👋 Janis: [mhmm, like get over it Ian it's one day but ANYWAY] Janis: I wish I could've come Jimmy: and I wish I could've hung about a bit longer Janis: fucking real life, eh Jimmy: nowt'll be more 💔 than if the ☕ start cracking on making themselves and I have to look out for a new way to earn 💰 Jimmy: but I get that you wanna be my fantasy, girl so I won't call it a bit rude that you're 🗨 all that just then were fake Janis: Never happen Janis: they like the fake smile on your face when you give it 'em Janis: not fake Janis: just not 💩 like the rest Jimmy: I'll take all them assurances, tah for not getting too near a compliment Jimmy: thought it were gonna be a bit touch and go at the end there Janis: not to mention the carnage if it was self-service Janis: only afford the steam burns if they're paying you minimum wage Janis: 😘 Janis: shut up Jimmy: not just any dickhead can pull off that many scars Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: 😏 Janis: I get it, you want MORE compliments Janis: not like I just spent all day showing you how hot I think you are Jimmy: or more worthwhile wounds Jimmy: unless you're gonna kick off about there being no more time or space for them an' all Janis: Oi Janis: don't make me sound like that bitch Janis: cheek Janis: 🔪 you any time you like, you know that Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: can never have it in writing too many times Janis: you trying to get me done for not keeping my word? Jimmy: 👮🚔 Jimmy: don't bother going back on it and you'll be alright Janis: should've known Janis: you're all the same Jimmy: can't 🗨 you didn't know what you were getting into, Jennifer Jimmy: 🐷💕 Janis: my dads rolling in his grave Jimmy: still 🤞 you and your fake tan'll put mine in his Janis: I'll put on my nan's accent Janis: turn it up a notch Jimmy: 😂 Janis: or just intro them Janis: he'd feel so #attacked Jimmy: only if you can promise me she'll chuck a bible at him Janis: 🤞 Janis: can't promise much about her but it's 99% Jimmy: it's a date then 🍷🍞 Janis: 😂 Janis: enjoy Jimmy: be PROPER awks if we've misread this and she ends up my new mum Janis: She's still got delusions about being the pastor's wife Janis: she's too nosy to settle down and have her own life anyway, you're fine Jimmy: poor bloke Janis: your dad or father daddy? Jimmy: not chucking any sympathy Ian's way Jimmy: he's always got the full orchestra playing for himself, there's no need Janis: got ya Janis: I'll make it up to him whenever I get 'round the repenting Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: bit of time with me on my knees'll sort him right out Janis: fuck off Janis: we're not sharing Jimmy: Why not? Janis: 'cos I want him Janis: get your own boyfriend, bitch Jimmy: thank GOD Pete'll be in Janis: 😒 Janis: shot myself in the foot there Jimmy: made your 🛏 have to lie in it with the hot priest, you Janis: 😣 😖 😫 Janis: don't be mean Janis: it was an involuntary reaction Janis: being a twin means you don't want to share anything Jimmy: you're alright, I'm more forgiving than him and his mate in the ☁s Jimmy: might let you be my mate again eventually Janis: aaaaand share your boyfriend, yeah? Janis: thanks 💖 Jimmy: be up to him, that Jimmy: but agreeing to having a go at being his lead 🎤's bound to make up his mind Jimmy: the lad he got last time you said no is shite Janis: Oh God Janis: do they play the CG? Janis: 😬 Jimmy: that gonna make you rush in or steer clear? Janis: I'm not sure I can fake the enthusiasm Janis: and yes, that IS saying something, thank you Janis: tell him to 📞 me if they ever start getting paid Jimmy: @ him yourself Jimmy: loads of jobs but none of 'em are as your messenger boy Jimmy: ain't chucked 🗞️🗞️🗞️ about for ages Janis: you're such a slag Janis: called playing it cool Janis: look it up 🤓 Jimmy: look up frigid Jimmy: 🥶🥶🧊 Janis: piss off Jimmy: didn't reckon on that rumour being the one that were true but here we are Janis: don't be a twat Janis: you literally know it isn't Jimmy: still feel free to remind me whenever you like Janis: yeah, really convincing that Jimmy: What, you need MORE convincing than earlier on? Janis: oh, now you're calling me a slag Janis: make up your mind and shut up, yeah? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you planning to leave me with my 💭 this whole 🚍 ride? Janis: I should Janis: but it is longer than the journey to hell so Jimmy: you have left me loads to think about, give you that Jimmy: 🏆🥇 Janis: it's mutual Janis: is an understatement Jimmy: yeah, I felt that Janis: bit rude Janis: every time I think seeing you is gonna get you out of my head Janis: never does though Jimmy: bit rude that you want me out when you've said you've not got owt else on Janis: yeah but I can't be around you all the time so it's just inconvenient Jimmy: I'm not stopping you and my 👻 manager'd have a job to Jimmy: and we've already proved school can't Janis: If you're still there when I've dealt with my ma Janis: could Jimmy: if not you know where else I'll be Janis: yeah Janis: I do have work to do and all though Jimmy: OBVS Jimmy: 🐕's can't 🏃 themselves without the owners getting right mardy Janis: Thank God Janis: can't be arsed to sing for my supper yet Jimmy: after though Jimmy: you can do us a lullaby Janis: you just want me to sleep over Jimmy: Oi, don't make me sound like them huns Janis: 💅💄🍿☕️🧸💖 Janis: you Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: will you hang about if I let you chuck 🧸s about and smack me with a pillow or what? Janis: your nightmare not mine Janis: but as you asked nicely Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What song do you want? Janis: 🎶😴 Jimmy: what song do you wanna do? Janis: [list off some hilariously inappropriate lullabies] Jimmy: number 6 Janis: 😏 Janis: thank god the little ones deaf Janis: hate to be a bad influence Jimmy: 🖍👂 were bad enough Janis: mini 💘story is worse Jimmy: but that's nowt to do with us Janis: 'course not Janis: so pure and real Jimmy: be worse if they hated each other like him and Amsterdam, never be able to chuck him anywhere Janis: yeah Janis: and she's annoying whatever she's 🗨 about so makes no odds to me Jimmy: we better start being the NICEST ever to your nan so he can sleep there and not piss on our party plans Janis: that'll involve you not being as nice as you wanna, perv Janis: tone it down Jimmy: tone down your jealousy, Jules, I'll come to your window an' all Janis: She don't fancy you, sorry to break it to you Jimmy: she's not gonna admit it to you, dickhead Janis: She's not gonna be able to fake that with a remotely straight face, more like Jimmy: must be where you get it from Janis: better than you Jimmy: bollocks Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: no Jimmy: based on what? Janis: erm, all my performances vs yours, OBVS Jimmy: mine's been as good as yours Janis: hmm Janis: 😂 Jimmy: you're just being a twat 'cause your fit nan 💕s me Janis: and you're just mad 'cos Will wouldn't even cast you as a background character Jimmy: he has done so that's even more bollocks you're chatting now Jimmy: should be chuffed she's not going blind, babe Janis: bit awkward to boot you now Janis: massive head, takes a lot to shift Jimmy: far as excuses go, a TOP athlete like you should have better Jimmy: 🥉 if that Janis: let me start auditions first, arsehole Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: stop it Janis: you're the one being a twat, twat Jimmy: how am I? Janis: Where do I start? Janis: I'd rather just not, as I just said Jimmy: at buying some time before you have a proper go 'cause you know I've done nowt wrong, by the sounds of it Jimmy: but alright Janis: I didn't say you'd done anything wrong Janis: just that you were being annoying on purpose Jimmy: Why would I bother with that? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: the answer is I obvs wouldn't Janis: OBVS Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you stop it Janis: I'm not doing anything Janis: so yeah, alright Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: I'd be in the group chat if I were trying to 🗨 in 👍👌🙄 Janis: not my job to entertain you is it Jimmy: I never said it were Jimmy: if you were on the clock it wouldn't be like pulling 🦷🦷 trying to have a word Janis: oh, whatever Janis: I don't like talking, that's not news and it's none of your business Jimmy: and you've heard I like talking to you when you're not being a MASSIVE dickhead Jimmy: give me a clue when that'll be Janis: I've got other shit on Jimmy: and I've not? Janis: I never said you didn't Janis: that was you Jimmy: I'm just not using it as a bollocks excuse to be a twat Janis: I'm not excusing anything, I'm saying you don't know what I do or don't have on, at any point Jimmy: 'cause it's none of my business, you just said Janis: basically, yeah Jimmy: whatever, as you said an' all Jimmy: in a bit Janis: later then Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you're gonna have to leave this some time and I'm gonna have to fix it, well done gal, not leaving it too long though 'cos not that deep so just deal with it, you could still be on the bus tbh lmao] Jimmy: [seeds are being sown and honestly yeah it is a really long bus ride I hope you left yourself enough time boy or you'll be late for work] Janis: sorry, okay Janis: just ignore me, I'm just stressed Janis: you've not done anything Jimmy: I got that Jimmy: how stressed you are Janis: yeah, I know Janis: you don't need that ever Janis: let alone before work Jimmy: @iantaylor8 before I get back, might stop him getting a mard on an' all Janis: He's gonna be raging? Jimmy: when's he not? Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to bits I gave him something to have a go about Jimmy: you talk to your mum yet? Janis: Any excuse Janis: not like we had anything important on today Janis: or ever, really but you know Janis: she won't be back for a bit Janis: just avoiding my sisters in the meantime Jimmy: how many 🐕s you done? Janis: got six here that all walk together alright, get that in before she's back Jimmy: 💰 on my sister not having done ours, you can use that as a reason to piss off when you need Janis: If she ain't seething, might drop me off Janis: save the dog's bladder bursting whilst the bus goes round every fucking street on the way Jimmy: didn't go back at lunch, might already be 💀💀💀 Janis: shit Janis: what time is your dad back? Jimmy: probably will be,  have to check the 👞👟🥾 Jimmy: house'll be trashed if nowt else Jimmy: meant to be 🕠 but it never is Janis: I can leave a note at mine Janis: be there well before he is Janis: only took a day off, say I got that period or whatever Jimmy: not your problem, no need to cause any with your mum for the 🐕's sake Janis: it's not a problem Janis: just replying that I hadn't run away earlier when the school messaged her was more than enough Jimmy: alright Janis: won't charge extra for mopping up piss Janis: didn't think, when I said we should go to mine Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: mop up piss or 💭🐕💔 Janis: you can't, you're already doing a job so Jimmy: he can get the mop out, it were his 🥇💡 to get a dog Janis: may as well though Jimmy: IOU then Janis: nah Janis: 'cos IOU Jimmy: Oi, don't be turning me down Jimmy: any time you fancy having a piss on my floor, I'll sort it Janis: 😂 Janis: thanks Janis: big #kinkunlocked obviously Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I'm allowing it Janis: Well considerate of you Jimmy: sound more shocked, Joanne Janis: I ain't Jimmy: good Janis: you know I didn't mean it Jimmy: What bit? Janis: not wanting to talk to you Jimmy: I got that when you started talking to me again Janis: yeah, alright Janis: just saying Jimmy: what's gonna make you 😁? Janis: Is that what you want? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Jimmy: not like I've spent ages today trying to do it or owt Janis: I can not be a moody bitch without being 😁 though, honest Jimmy: and I can make you 😁 Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: you have Janis: loads Jimmy: it don't matter if your face ain't stuck like it Jimmy: I'll have another go Janis: what about you? Jimmy: What about me? Janis: What emoji do you want me to make you? Jimmy: your fav obvs Jimmy: 🤗 Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll do my best Jimmy: I get it, you know Jimmy: what you said before about the rest being 💩 Janis: it just really shows how shit everything else and everyone is Janis: how boring and just Janis: bit of a headfuck Jimmy: yeah and I get it an' all that you have shit you have to do but Jimmy: I meant what I said about you not having to go nowhere Jimmy: my 🏠'll be trashed and the 🐕's a dickhead but you can still hang around whenever you want Janis: I don't though Janis: not in comparison to you, that's just the truth Janis: it just makes me sound pathetic when you put it like that Janis: but thanks Jimmy: shut up, you've got a job same as me Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: I know I ain't gonna hold it over your head that your mum ain't chucking 👶s at you to look after or being a massive bellend all the time Jimmy: what kind of weird 🎻💔😭 bollocks 🏆s is that? Janis: well I knew you'd hate it that's why I didn't say it earlier Janis: I'm just not trying to take the piss with stupid non-problems Jimmy: everyone's got shit, not just me Janis: yeah Janis: and I've got plenty Janis: being stressed about skiving school ain't one of 'em though, it weren't that Jimmy: I never thought it were Janis: I've got a handle on it now though Jimmy: alright Jimmy: made that 😁 challenge even more piss easy for me then Janis: You mad about that or Janis: I can make it harder again easy Jimmy: go on, I ain't 🙀🙀 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 me Janis: 😶 there you go Janis: complete blank slate Jimmy: Tah Janis: Yeah well, all the pressure Jimmy: that meant to be a ✔ or ❌? Janis: it means I'm doing what you asked and giving you an actual challenge Jimmy: that consideration's catching Janis: great Janis: need a cream for that, do I Jimmy: might do if it starts irritating you, like Jimmy: 🤞 it don't react with your fake tan Janis: is red more or less offensive than beige? 🤔 Jimmy: less Jimmy: colour of 🩸🌹💘 Bill's fav, that Janis: we already know he 💘s me Janis: about making your dad 😡🤬 not me Jimmy: already did do Jimmy: nowt challenging about making Ian fuming Janis: yeah but that's what you want me to do and keep doing Jimmy: it's not why I want you to stay Janis: it'd be a bit rude if that was all you wanted me for Jimmy: I just mean he's not the reason I do owt Jimmy: doing his head in gives my sister something to do with her 😡🤬 but he don't matter to me Janis: yeah, it isn't about him Janis: but getting him fuming enough you can all go home is, I mean Jimmy: which ain't even been working Jimmy: as plans go it were never 🥇 Janis: what letter plan was it? Jimmy: you know I can't count, mate Jimmy: dunno my letters either Janis: we don't have to talk about it though Janis: not right now Jimmy: We're here so whatever goes I had at getting him to not take the job or owt I did to try and stop us from leaving didn't work Jimmy: what's to talk about? Janis: you're giving up? Jimmy: never said that Janis: alright Janis: I get it Jimmy: do you? Janis: you either haven't thought out your next step, or I can't help you with it and it isn't my business Janis: either way, don't wanna or have to talk about it now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: not a total idiot, cheers Jimmy: never said that either Jimmy: feeling like one 'cause you had a massive strop is nowt to do with me Janis: fuck off Janis: 1. I didn't 2. Weren't talking about that no more Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what are you rolling your eyes at me for Jimmy: what you mean you don't get that? Jimmy: don't sound like you Janis: wow Janis: nice Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'm not staying, pay me whatever you would your sister for the dog Jimmy: I don't pay her Jimmy: @ my dad for his rates Janis: obviously not Jimmy: don't come then, even easier, that Janis: It's nothing to do with you Janis: the dog needs walking Jimmy: not by you Janis: why not Jimmy: why are you SO bothered? Janis: because it's needless and cruel Janis: it isn't hard Janis: and it's literally what I do so just shut up Jimmy: it ain't hard for my sister to do it Janis: is she going to or are you fobbing me off Jimmy: not a 🧠📖 Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I don't need your permission, I'm going round anyway Jimmy: you don't get nowt so don't act like you do Janis: fine, take your 🎻💔😭🏆 and shove it Jimmy: ✔ Janis: so glad you're happy Jimmy: so glad you ain't lost your sense of humour Janis: the gags that I never had one, so where's yours Jimmy: Dunno, maybe you'll find it when you're pissing about at mine Jimmy: places the spare 🔑 has to get left are getting weirder and weirder Janis: I'm just knocking Janis: you might be arsed but doubt your sisters stopping me doing a job for her Jimmy: be about right Janis: be weird id she cared Janis: if* Jimmy: no weirder than you reckoning she'll bother to answer the door Janis: You're being ridiculous Jimmy: that's you Janis: no, it ain't Jimmy: yeah it is, this 🐕💔 being the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: I told you why Janis: not rocket science Jimmy: and I told you why not to, neither's that Janis: I didn't say it was your fault but it's not fair on the dog and you know that Janis: I'm not gonna pretend I don't 'cos you're pissed off with me Jimmy: 📞 the rspca then, be doing me a bigger favour than this bollocks is Janis: if you wanted to, you would've done it yourself Janis: the kid 💕 it and that's why Jimmy: funny way of showing it she's got Jimmy: can't even do something she gets 💰 chucked at her for Janis: yeah and that hardly takes a genius to work out either Jimmy: no need for you to get your head round what's up with her an' all Janis: stop acting like I'm fucking therapizing you Jimmy: stop doing it Janis: fuck this Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you better walk away gal but we're clearly going to attempt to walk Twix still] Jimmy: [at least he's not there so you won't brawl] Janis: [oh the drama mick] Jimmy: [oh boy, it's not her fault you don't wanna leave dublin anymore, well it is but don't be rude] Janis: [quite literally your fault but that's a convo we're not ready to have yet clearly lol] Jimmy: [a convo we've literally had twice drunk lol lol] Janis: [oh lads, we're literally in such a tiz, thank god you didn't stay home tbh] Jimmy: [don't need to have a blazing row with your poor mother] Janis: [make this Thing an actual Thing™ though that is lowkey the deal in the fam being suspish of you boy but still] Jimmy: [literally don't know how I'm gonna fix this because he thinks he's in the right here, sir your pants] Janis: [like he's not not but we didn't really get what he was saying 'cos neither of you was saying enough/the right things lol] Jimmy: [she's not a mind reader either jimothy] Janis: [fair, we're probably going to go out and get drunk somewhere so I could always come @ you] Jimmy: [good idea because that's not a luxury he has until work is over at least and even then not really because Ian will be throwing his toys out of the pram] Janis: [yeah, like he's really not gonna be in the mood is he but we'll do it anyway, good luck lmao] Jimmy: [how much later are we saying it is like is he at work or has it been ages?] Janis: [well it's fully a monday so like what kind of party would be happening, so it's probably on the earlier side like we're just 'hanging' somewhere and drinking, but by the time we come for you you can probably be leaving work/home like] Jimmy: [makes sense] Janis: are you okay? Janis: what did he do? Janis: can't stop thinking about it Jimmy: I'm not back yet, nowt to worry about Janis: oh Janis: it's not that late Janis: still so dark 🌨⛄ Jimmy: you alright? Janis: yeah Janis: but no too Jimmy: ? Janis: I don't like it when we don't talk Janis: but I'm not dying in a ditch, that's what I mean Jimmy: but where are you? Janis: at the park with some people Janis: not the park, a park though Jimmy: what park? Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: I don't know, the one on [some estate he's not going to know gal but anyway, a let's get drunk in parks energy] Janis: it's not that cold, had my coat on anyway Jimmy: SO helpful, you Jimmy: it's not that cold now you're pissed, my dear Janis: That is half the point Janis: idk what you expect me to tell you, it's not like the park has a name, just a bit of grass and some swings Jimmy: I've got a map up 🤞 I get there before you 🥶🥶🥶 Janis: you're coming to see me? Janis: but you're angry at me Jimmy: I'm bringing you ☕ to warm and sober you up a bit, then I'm taking you to your nans Janis: I don't want to Jimmy: you wanna go home? Janis: god no Jimmy: you can't stay there Janis: not all night Janis: but it isn't even late Jimmy: not the point, dickhead Jimmy: I've got enough to worry about without adding you to the list Janis: don't worry about me Janis: I'm just trying to have fun Janis: I'm worried about you Jimmy: bit late for that Janis: 😠 Jimmy: don't you start, girl, I've hung up my apron now Jimmy: already on my way Janis: you can't try to seduce me to change the subject Janis: not that drunk Jimmy: weren't the plan Janis: why you talking like that then Jimmy: what? Janis: like Mias there and you want her to fancy you too Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: daddy 👏 energy 👏 Janis: anyway, literally said you wouldn't distract from the point so sh Jimmy: you Janis: but Jimmy: 🤫 Janis: sorry for caring Jimmy: it weren't what you signed up for Janis: not what you signed me up for, you mean Jimmy: go on, make it sound more like I forced you into something Janis: that's like Janis: the opposite of what I'm saying Jimmy: alright Janis: you keep turning things 'round and it's not what I mean Jimmy: just say what you mean Janis: I am Janis: I'm trying Janis: I just don't want you to get really hurt again but I can't do anything about it Jimmy: there's nowt I can do about it either Jimmy: how do you think I feel? Janis: I can't imagine Jimmy: don't Jimmy: 💭❌ Janis: I were never saying I knew what that was like Janis: I wouldn't Jimmy: not something I want us to have in common Janis: 'course not Jimmy: there you go then, can't have a go at you for not having a clue Janis: you can Janis: or you could just tell me what you do want me to do Janis: or say Janis: or not say or do Jimmy: that'd be taking the daddy energy a bit far, babe Janis: alright, not any other time, tah Janis: just let me fix this Janis: and not fuck it up again Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: there's nowt either of us can do Janis: okay Janis: I know that Janis: but how do I not annoy you about it Janis: because I don't think I can just fake that I don't know Jimmy: I don't have an answer I can just chuck at you Janis: okay then Jimmy: if I did I'd have loads of mates and a real girlfriend, duh Jimmy: that charming and social, me Janis: I'm glad you don't have a girlfriend though Jimmy: me and Bill's 👻 an' all Janis: I've got no friends either Jimmy: Oi, what am I? Janis: I don't know Janis: what are you Jimmy: 💔 RUDE Jimmy: I'm your best mate Janis: my best mate Janis: who I think about every time I cum, alright Jimmy: why isn't it? Janis: just confusing Janis: it can be both Janis: probably Jimmy: don't have to be if we just 🗨 Jimmy: it's been alright up til now Janis: very rude if that's your review Jimmy: shut up, you know what I mean Janis: do you want me to 🗨 or 🤫 Janis: just confused now 😏 Jimmy: I've missed you but if you wanna change my mind about it Janis: no, no Janis: I can behave Jimmy: making promises you can't keep Janis: cheek Jimmy: we'll see when I get there Janis: I missed you too Janis: I don't know what's wrong with me Jimmy: other than being a massive pisshead, you mean Janis: psh Janis: what else am I meant to do Jimmy: you want a list or what? Janis: yes, go on Jimmy: 1. 🗨 to me 2. come 👋 to me and my 👻 manager 3. workshop a 💀💀💀 scene with Bill 4. 🐕🏃 5. @ Lucas or 💀👑's dad for a lift Jimmy: just off the top of my head Janis: 1. we weren't 🗨 2. so I couldn't 👋 even if your manager actually existed 3. he's your mate 4. you definitely didn't want me to do that earlier either 5. just admit you want me 💀💀💀 now like Jimmy: 1. gotta start somewhere, Jessica 2. he were actually about, believe it or not! 3. he is with THAT attitude 4. I definitely don't want you spending all my 💰 either 5. I ALWAYS want to 💀💀💀 you, I've admitted that before Janis: 1. what's this? 2. so sad I missed him/my chance to seduce him for a job then 3. #ladsladslads with him forever 4. only said that 'cos you made me mad and I said for like a five not ALL your 💰 not that stereotype 5. then why are you letting either of them do it instead? Jimmy: 1. but before or instead of getting off your head were the point 2. 💔 for you and him both 3. speaking of, how many lads off that estate am I gonna have to smack before we can leave? 4. you still fuming at me or what? 5. never said I'd let it happen, just that it could do Janis: I'm not still mad at you Janis: it was a solid 60% my fault anyway Janis: I don't even know what we were talking about or then why we weren't, really Jimmy: then how do you know owt were your fault? Janis: 'cos you've explained since Jimmy: I were being a dickhead, it's not you Janis: no, it's alright Janis: you weren't Jimmy: I were and it's not alright Jimmy: you're the only bit that's not shit and taking the rest out on you ain't gonna change them, it'll only fuck this up an' all Janis: I'm not looking to make any of it harder Janis: that's not what a mate should do Jimmy: and I made it loads easier for you a bit ago when I already knew you weren't 😁 Janis: that's really nothing though Janis: stupid high school level shit Jimmy: meant to be cheering you up, that's what I said I'd do Jimmy: not nowt that I did the opposite Janis: okay, but I wasn't helping you none neither Janis: so we can be even Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Janis: am I going to need to come find you? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: um, a really valid one from experience Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I'm not the one who's pissed, tah very much Janis: you exaggerate Jimmy: you take the piss Jimmy: I'm not lost Janis: okay, okay Janis: it'd be rude not to check Janis: you could die Janis: or 🥶🥶🥶 Jimmy: too northern for that bollocks Jimmy: what kind of truce is this? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: have a swing, I'll be there in a bit Janis: someone's hoyed 'em over Janis: so rude Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: never did answer me on how many lads I'd have to 🥊 Janis: Not sure if it was one of them Janis: I'll ask for you Jimmy: 💰 on it being you when you were FUMING Jimmy: trying to blame these poor lads now Janis: 😱 Janis: I WOULD NEVER Janis: pain to get back down, even if your da is like, freakishly tall or something Jimmy: never admit it now I've caught you out, more like Jimmy: know what you're like Jimmy: trying to show off and make the most of your 🦒 perks Janis: yeah, all these lads are SO cool Jimmy: never said it were for them Jimmy: might've been waiting to impress me Janis: well are you impressed? Jimmy: haven't seen the state of nowt yet Janis: you're an idiot Jimmy: yeah 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: then I'll live Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ? Janis: Would it make it better or worse if I come back to yours Jimmy: better this time, worse the next Janis: What would you rather I do? Jimmy: you know the answer to that Janis: but are you sure Jimmy: are you? Janis: I'll be fine going to my nans, for me Janis: I don't know what's better for you Janis: yeah, I can delay it now, or let it be less tonight than it COULD be Janis: but neither of those feels good Janis: so I just wanna do what you want Jimmy: so stay Janis: okay Jimmy: okay Janis: we could get rid of him the old-fashioned way Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I'll get lost Janis: seriously Janis: how hard can it be Jimmy: piss easy if you don't care about the bit where you get caught Jimmy: how you gonna walk my 🐕 from prison? Janis: well that's why we do it properly Janis: just need to do the groundwork Janis: keep slyly telling any nosy neighbours you're moving back soon because he's lost his job, so they don't @ him Janis: then backdate a resignation letter to send to his work Jimmy: then what? Jimmy: can't actually piss off back up north without the dickhead Janis: well, you could, ferry is well cheap Janis: what you'd do when you get there is another issue Jimmy: keep dreaming, baby Jimmy: it's never gonna happen Jimmy: you're stuck with me for a bit Janis: I don't want you to leave anyway Janis: not my dream Jimmy: what'd you bring it up for then? Janis: you could stay and we could kill him Jimmy: we'd be prime suspects Jimmy: and they'd take the 👶👶🐕 off me Janis: nah, 'cos if we sort work and your neighbours and move you in with me who's looking Janis: 💡 Janis: see Jimmy: your whole family'd be 👀🍿 Jimmy: and your 🐕 best mate'd be eaten by 🐈🐈🐈 Janis: hardly Janis: 2 of my sisters got married before they were 20 and one of 'em is dead Janis: can't say nothing Janis: don't fight how much sense it makes tah Jimmy: you're so Janis: fucked up? Jimmy: not what I were gonna say Janis: they are Janis: try and distance myself from it but Jimmy: if we were judging each other by our family I'd come off loads worse Jimmy: no tah Janis: no need to have the competition Jimmy: 'cause you're losing Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 🏆 goes to me Janis: nope no no no nah Janis: you have no idea and you don't need it Jimmy: alright, stop going on about it and 🗨 something you want me to know Janis: 😳 Jimmy: go on Janis: bit on the spot, like you say Jimmy: but you're 💭 about something or you wouldn't be 😳 Janis: too bad you're not a 🧠📖 Jimmy: just have to read your body language instead Jimmy: [show up sir] Janis: ['scuse us random park people, biggest run and hug ever] Jimmy: [holding onto her for the longest time and we're not sorry] Janis: [lowkey like don't cry gal, so overwhelmed and drunk dangerous combo here] Jimmy: [gal we know all about trying not to cry Imma get you out of here asap] Janis: [not letting you say anything intelligible yet] Jimmy: [it's fine we're totally picking her up so we can leave] Janis: [soz not soz to the lads who clearly thought you were about to get off with them or something] Jimmy: [bye bye boys have fun] Janis: [hope you're near enough to his lads 'I'm really sorry'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' cos it is and snuggling her as we carry her like] Janis: [sighs 'it's not' but we mean everything else so we're snuggling him back even harder Jimmy: [kissing the top of her head like yeah it is] Janis: ['you're the loveliest, that's what I want you to know'] Jimmy: [clearly 😳 about this because not what we expected her to say but we're also doing a little genuine smile so] Janis: [just softly stroking his cheeks though you probably can't even see in this light/state we just know, about to blurt something about but just about catching ourselves 'tell me something then'] Jimmy: ['are you gonna remember it?' cos we gonna catch ourselves too before being too extra] Janis: ['yes!' indignantly like how dare you, nudging him like go on 'I'll tell you another if you do'] Jimmy: ['alright, one thing I want you to know is how much this means' keeping it deliberately vague as if we're just talking about the Ian situation because we clearly aren't lol 'to me that you-that you're-' still not finishing our sentences though soz about it] Janis: [squeezing him wherever you're holding onto him, but gently please let's not fall and die here although 'I love you' not leaving like a sec here 'like I care about you, you know' and how rushed that last bit is like and I oop] Jimmy: [we've straight up died so whatever we say back is too muffled to understand because we're hardcore hiding in the bae and also using our softest voice ever] Janis: [casual panic happening in silence here but we move, meant it and can't take it back so at least you're drunk enough that you can't really try to run away rn] Jimmy: [lifting our head when she moves because we think she's gonna try and run away and that's a hard no from us 'always gotta one up me, you' but we're still using our soft voice so you know it's not a pisstake 'not gonna win the awards against you but I care about you an' all'] Janis: [shrugs like yes, that's what it was, of course 'just that good'] Jimmy: ['I know' giving her 😍 as we say it because we mean it] Janis: [going in for a makeout moment] Jimmy: [allowing it because he also meant it when he said he missed her and the feels are too high not to even though she's drunk and he's obvs not] Janis: [it's fine, we know we're being extra with it because we are drunk so it's not like you've got it wrong boy] Jimmy: [we're being extra too cos we're in our emotions and I don't trust you to speak rn sir, always makes me laugh like how far have we even gotten away from this park] Janis: [seriously, like you already said it girl you better stop lmao, I hope far enough that we're not giving a free show, also you're nearly at his but probably not knowing y'all] Jimmy: [hope you're at least off this estate so we're not getting whistled and shouted at by chavs cos that'll really ruin the moment] Janis: [like get that you're both in this moment but there's only so much you can ignore really] Jimmy: [I'll make it rain or snow if I have to lads so that'll move along, don't test me] Janis: [least you're gonna have some urgency by how hard we're going rn 'cos no shame] Jimmy: [an incentive to get home is very much needed cos Ian will be a delight] Janis: [I'm like gal do not speak that could be disastrous] Jimmy: [going upstairs immediately for all the reasons] Janis: [can't come for Ian and his life, it'd be amusing but make everything worse so not rn, in that bed tah] Jimmy: [we'll give you other opportunities gal but this is not the one] Janis: [not when you're drunk, not gonna be witty, just like fuck you bitch] Jimmy: [it's gonna be ages before you get back anyway cos we know y'all will keep stopping, never any chill] Janis: [we all know it, there is no chill now or ever] Jimmy: [hence I am making you walk, not letting you anywhere near a bus or anything rn] Janis: [do we wanna skip to being at his or to the AM or quoiiiii] Jimmy: [good question, we can probably skip to later at his because you can't avoid Ian forever, even if we're kind and say he's not around when they first get there] Janis: [what's your vibe like is he gonna come in and make Jimmy come out to talk or ambush him like what's the tea sis] Jimmy: [I feel like Jimothy's gonna have to go make tea at some point because it's his love language so he'll probably get ambushed in the kitchen then] Janis: [ugh SIR] Jimmy: [is nothing sacred you bitch, but at least she'll be upstairs so she can't brawl him and Twix will run up cos she will be scared so that'll distract you gal] Janis: [like if we heard brawling ourselves we would come down but I'd like to hope you're keeping it to shouting rn, have some shame dickhead, just look after this baby dog] Jimmy: [I would hope he is just shouting because he's that dickhead that wants to appear like he's not one and like what's to stop Janis telling literally everyone including her social worker nan so] Janis: [right, even if you think she's trash, I don't think you're being that dumb with it ever] Jimmy: [shamelessly just gonna bring the bae tea and biscuits as if that didn't happen] Janis: [trying not to be like !!! but we're also not gonna pretend as hard, patting the bed like come here] Jimmy: [obvs we do and do a feelsy lean when we're there cos we both need it] Janis: ['really wants Lucas to like him' because we know there's fuck all we can actually say to be of use, but we're tucking him back in and cuddling him] Jimmy: [a little lol because 1. funny 2. not what we expected her to say 3. relief that she hasn't said something that'll make it awks and that Ian didn't kick off any harder/try and kick her out] Janis: [equally small smile 'cos we love to see it but we do not love the rest of this situation so we're not buzzing obviously] Jimmy: [draw it bigger with our fingertip because we've remembered our 😁 challenge] Janis: [write LOL on him like okay, whilst we're here let's sort that out] Jimmy: [do some !! on her like epic lols please] Janis: [go to tickle him like it can be arranged] Jimmy: [obvs tickling her back like excuse you it's meant to be you doing it] Janis: [we are loling but still trying to tickle him and get him too] Jimmy: [never far from a playfight which I love for you and also I imagine that Twix is probably still around so joining in] Janis: [don't bark gal or do because we don't care about you Ian but bit rude to Cass, just pinning him and being like 'my offer still stands' which like, explain yourself but we're not lol] Jimmy: [also don't spill that tea or crush those biscuits/ let Twix get either of them while you're living your best life, obvs giving her a look like ?] Janis: [my boo always so concerned about the tea situation, runs a finger along his throat and looks meaningfully at the door like you know who] Jimmy: [I am and I'm not soz boo, but jimothy meanwhile is gonna just give you a lovebite/go over an existing one on your throat gal like I'd rather just kill you thank you] Janis: [doing the opposite of complaining about it] Jimmy: [taking the encouragement and going harder as a result of it duh] Janis: [when you can't breathe casually, pulling him closer into us 'please'] Jimmy: [kick that dog out so she doesn't cockblock you soz Twix, casually looks like you're like nope and leaving] Janis: [Twix is probably 🥺 but we definitely are x2 🥺🥺] Jimmy: [don't worry we're running back immediately to kiss you INTENSELY] Janis: [getting in his lap, duh, and looking at him for ages 'lovely' like yes, I was correct] Jimmy: [putting his finger on her nose like he's pointing at her cos no you] Janis: [grabbing the finger and then we're holding both his hands 'how am I going to make you happy?'] Jimmy: ['you already have done' because true that we've already forgotten about Ian's bullshit lbr cos we're in love] Janis: ['I could do better' 'you deserve better'] Jimmy: ['you just wanna take the challenge off me' because we can't even deal with our emotions over her saying that] Janis: ['I just wanna-' and kissing him again like let me show you] Jimmy: [a very enthusiastic response in all the ways possible because same] Janis: [have your moment kiddos, cannot express how much she's calling him baby] Jimmy: [cannot overstate how into that he is and will forever be] Janis: [being a perfect combo of intense but soft rn] Jimmy: [Cass gonna wish she was deaf too, first Ian shouting and now this lol] Janis: [thank god for headphones gal soz still not gonna be our fan for a while lol] Jimmy: [she's really not cos already had to dump Bobby on her when we had work then had to find Janis and now all this is shamelessly going on, soz gal] Janis: [it's fine, we'd hate us too in your position and we will win you 'round in the end] Jimmy: [I'm sure Jimothy will also do something to make it up to you cos he's just that bitch even though he's fuming at you for not walking Twix ever] Janis: [lowkey don't deserve it but you lucky gal and not shading you too hard] Jimmy: [we all know you're strugging rn gal it's okay] Janis: [not helping your brother but this isn't meant to be your job any more than it's meant to be his] Jimmy: [and we'll let you get your bf and friends soon and then you can walk Twix together] Janis: [and you'll be happy, despite the fact you go back up north, that's your business hen] Jimmy: [what if he sends her a valentine and that's what starts this lil otp] Janis: [that would be very cute do it] Jimmy: [like idk if he goes to your school or if he's putting in through your door or if he even signs it but we know bitch] Janis: [we should be nice and say he goes to your school so you have company but it should be a ? 'cos that's cute, I've only ever got one of those and it was from nannie haha] Jimmy: [I've derailed us but yeah that felt like a nice thing to happen amidst all the drama] Janis: [hohaha you'd be so embarrassed gal, be nice Jimothy aka shamelessly tease her] Jimmy: [simply must] Janis: [but yes, we're probably good for tonight unless you really wanna 'round 2 Ian] Jimmy: [do you wanna do the am?] Janis: [sure ting honey, it's a tuesday, so you'll be having to get Bobby ready for school and Ian will be gone so that's good] Jimmy: [leaving the bae in bed while we do our big brother duties but we will be bringing you breakfast gal you know it] Janis: 👋😪 Janis: you want any help? Jimmy: did I teach you the signs for hurry the fuck up? Janis: 🤔 Janis: [clip of her doing the thing where you gesture towards yourself frantically like LETS GO] Janis: ? Jimmy: that'd do Janis: does he know I'm here? Jimmy: he'd have come to ask you loads of questions about his missus if he did Janis: 💔 ouch Jimmy: if you fancy jumping out at him, the 🐕'll give you a hand knocking him about and getting his attention Janis: I'm not that offended Janis: be a bit rude Janis: plus if your sister knows I'm here, she definitely wants to see me even less Jimmy: but I might want to Jimmy: bit rude of you not to think about that Janis: Please Janis: I think about you ALL the time Janis: and you've seen a lot of me lately Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Jimmy: me and the 🐕 are having a 💔💪🏆 Janis: she's FUMING at me Janis: I went to the bathroom and she was giving me 🔪🔪👀 Jimmy: the 🐕 or my sister? Janis: 🐕 Janis: your fault Janis: haven't you noticed her 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Jimmy: Oi, nowt to do with me, I never said you went to the park without her Janis: you kicked her out Janis: I remember Janis: also she was scrapping at the door Jimmy: not my fault you never said that were a kink of yours Jimmy: should've if you wanted her kept in Janis: shut up Janis: I said she was mad, not me Jimmy: she'll get over it once I sort her breakfast out Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: for 🥞🧇🥓🍳 or in life in general Jimmy: obvs to eat, dickhead Jimmy: but if there's owt else I can do an' all, go on Janis: cheek that you don't wanna know all about my ambitions and dreams in the morning Janis: @ the gals with that relatable content Jimmy: I LITERALLY just said tell me so that's bollocks Janis: woe is me 😉 can't hear you over all my 😭 Jimmy: poor baby Janis: are you going to school today? Jimmy: are you? Janis: haven't got my uniform Jimmy: you can borrow my spare if that's the only thing putting you off Janis: school is always off-putting Janis: but didn't know if you were gonna go in to shut him up Jimmy: if it were that piss easy I might do Janis: yeah Janis: I'll come in, if you are Janis: I usually have mine in my bag but I left that at home when I went out last night, for some reason Jimmy: probably weren't planning on going, we still don't have to Janis: what do you want to do? Jimmy: if we don't go? Janis: well I meant are we going or not Janis: but go on Jimmy: whatever is the most #ultimategoals bollocks we can think of, duh Janis: do you reckon any of them have heard of bed peace Janis: 😴😴😴 Jimmy: will have once I'm done 📷🥇 Janis: you're gonna koala onto the side of me? Janis: you're basically scouse, yeah 😏 Jimmy: unless you fancy making another fort downstairs, been ages since the last one Janis: just say you want to babe Janis: I'll get started whilst you're taking him in Jimmy: only thinking of you 🦒 Janis: it's a bit of a squeeze Janis: stretched out rn though Jimmy: very subtle Jimmy: I won't hurry back Janis: 🥺🥺 Janis: fine Jimmy: make up your mind, girl Janis: you know what I want Janis: read my mind, boy Jimmy: I miss you an' all Janis: compared to the school run, I'm a delight, obvs Jimmy: but hang on, some of them yummy mummies really dress up so you've got a bit of competition Janis: you have fun with that then Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 OBVS Janis: you're gross Janis: and I'm going back to bed Jimmy: actual 🤞 you don't 🤮 in my 🗑 Janis: I ain't even hungover Jimmy: 'cause I came and got you before you could get too off your head Janis: you act like you've never done it Jimmy: never said that Janis: What, then? Jimmy: nowt 🤐 Janis: why'd you come though Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: why can't I ask? Jimmy: what's it matter? it's done now Janis: alright Jimmy: there's 🗨 you can read before I did Janis: that would require reading my own 🗨 Janis: I'd rather leave it 🤐 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll take the dog out Jimmy: what happened to going back to 😴? Janis: I'm not sleepy Jimmy: tah then Janis: no worries Jimmy: 👍 Janis: it doesn't need to be weird Jimmy: what? Janis: ➡️ ⬅️ ⬆️ ⬇️ ↗️ ↘️ ↙️ ↖️ Janis: this Jimmy: you're the one calling it weird to say it don't need to be Janis: I'm just saying I don't wanna start up the whole thing again, that's all Jimmy: that's alright by me Janis: okay Janis: ignore me Jimmy: I don't want to ignore you Janis: okay, don't, but I mean Janis: I'm not trying to be a dick Jimmy: I'll give you a 🏆 if you manage it Jimmy: 😏 Janis: fair but fuck off 😂 Janis: not going for 😇 fake gf Jimmy: what you going for? Janis: 😈 DUH Jimmy: you can have that 🏆 Janis: I'd fight you if you disagreed on that Jimmy: no need as it's fake Jimmy: I'll agree to owt as long as it's on brand Janis: that ain't fake Jimmy: last night it were Jimmy: SO nice you 😇🏆🥇 Janis: that was mate stuff Janis: not fake gf Jimmy: let's just be mates today then Jimmy: I'm 🥱😴 if you're not Janis: subtle way to say just be nice to me all day Janis: but alright Jimmy: I'll do it back, not that much of a dickhead Janis: doesn't sound terrible Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: 🤝 Janis: and I could sleep, so don't need to worry about me creepily watching you and/or stealing all your shit whilst you 🥱😴 Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: you've had loads of chances to do both before now Janis: gain your trust first, not an amateur Jimmy: and what, you reckon you have? Janis: yep Janis: like you said, could've easily done both by now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oi, are you saying I haven't? Jimmy: I said I weren't bothered about you thieving or 👀 at us 😴 Jimmy: don't mean I trust you, mate, just that I've got nowt worth nicking and don't reckon I'm 🎨 Janis: Psh, that's a blatant lie Jimmy: which bit? Janis: not reckoning you're 🎨 Janis: you and your massive head Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: if that weren't bollocks I'd be my own muse Janis: selfies aren't #art Janis: that's the truth, pretentious hipster Jimmy: take one and watch the fans disagree Janis: you do the same Janis: you know what you look like Jimmy: [obviously does because no fucks given ever] Jimmy: there you go then Janis: see Janis: you're Janis: your DMs will 💥 'cos I'm not in it Jimmy: have to take loads with you in Jimmy: good job you're not hungover Janis: I've not seen myself yet Janis: could be 👹 Jimmy: 📷 Jimmy: it's your go Janis: [a bed selfie where you clearly look good 'cos when do you not, bitches be mad] Janis: demanding, you Jimmy: if I were next to you there I would be Janis: 😳 Janis: rude to say that and not be Jimmy: I thought it'd be ruder not to 🗨 soz Jimmy: taking our 🤝 dead serious, me Janis: speechless is a bit far Jimmy: Dunno you might reckon the nicest thing I can do is shut up Janis: nah Janis: I've told you loads I don't mind it Janis: your 🗨 Jimmy: [a voice memo that's full of compliments about that selfie because of course] Janis: I already missed you Janis: you had to make me admit it, didn't you Jimmy: weren't why but I'm not fuming that you feel the same as me Janis: you shouldn't be allowed out of this bed Janis: s'what I reckon Jimmy: we can stay there long as you want Janis: ⛓😍 Jimmy: be like Lucas is about Jimmy: no need to go to english Janis: yeah, smart to mouth off to your captor Janis: think on Jimmy: #thickandnorthern Jimmy: you have been warned before Janis: damn, I thought you said thicc Janis: misled Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 for you Janis: yeah, pretty gutted Janis: you'll do for now Jimmy: til you @ some fatter northern dickhead Janis: have to change my tinder location Jimmy: not much of a #kink since you ain't even offered to make me owt for breakfast Janis: those are perks you've not even fake unlocked Jimmy: or answered what you want Janis: surprise me Janis: I'll get you something on the way back with the dog Jimmy: already outted yourself as not a real feeder, no need to follow through on it Janis: you don't like surprises...? Jimmy: you heard that I don't trust you Janis: it's breakfast Jimmy: it were you who asked the question Janis: alright Janis: your loss Jimmy: I do like surprises from you, the 🎄🎁 were good Janis: You ain't bad either Janis: no 🎅 shithead Jimmy: 💕 Janis: dunno how I'm gonna top it Jimmy: got ages before you have to Jimmy: not expecting THAT 🥇 of a breakfast, like Janis: wait and 👀 boy Janis: 💪🏆 Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I get it, you want me to have to compete with whatever 🍳🍞☕️🥞🧇🥓 I'm knocking up for you Janis: How else will you learn, babe? Janis: or maybe I just wanna do something nice, dickhead Jimmy: what's 🐕🏃 if not that? Janis: nothing new Janis: feel like that's all I friggin do Jimmy: who 🗨 it had to be something new? Jimmy: not 🥱😴 of you Janis: **because I keep you on your toes Jimmy: you're still about, that's all I want Janis: tah Janis: proximity is your biggest selling point as well Jimmy: 👏 @iantaylor8 for pissing about in this shithole instead of the one he was born in Janis: I'll @ my grandparents whilst I'm at it Jimmy: I meant you being at my 🏠 still but alright Jimmy: if they wanna take a bit of credit for that, you did say you didn't wanna go there Janis: already rude you have to split it 50/50 with your dad so Janis: not technically their fault, even if they'd hardly be happy I got pissed on a school day Jimmy: bit rude you didn't save me any tbh Jimmy: but not a surprise so I can't be fuming about it Janis: weren't my alcohol Janis: you could've hoe'd for it like the rest of us Jimmy: read the room a bit and they weren't chuffed to see me 💔🎻 Janis: awh babes Janis: 😞😘 Jimmy: your fault that you were, could've toned it down 🤏 and let me have some mates Janis: excuse me, you weren't hanging about to chat neither Jimmy: convenient that, you chucking the blame back over here Janis: you could've chucked me back if you were actually arsed Jimmy: might've been a good shout but I had a look and none of 'em were as fit as you Janis: now THAT'S a compliment Jimmy: take it then Janis: How can I? Janis: so overwhelmed you fancy me more than a bunch of greasy 16 year olds in tracksuits Jimmy: you're in the right place to have a lie down, you'll be alright Janis: OBVIOUSLY I prefer to swoon directly into your arms but Janis: have to do Janis: long as you reckon I'm dead when you get back and top yourself Janis: 😩🤤 Jimmy: Bill wouldn't have owt else Jimmy: trying to get this ☕☠ as we 🗨 him Janis: he's so thoughtful Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [bring her whatever adorable breakfast you've made before she gets out of bed because we know what this gal is like] Janis: [shamelessly giving you a massive smooch like you're gonna be gone forever] Jimmy: [it will feel like forever and we all know it, also shamelessly doing a little photoshoot so his dms don't blow up and obvs no other reason like she's the cutest ever] Janis: [so domestic, so cute] Jimmy: [the effort to tear himself away I lol you'll be right back sir] Janis: [and we all know you're not going to school so like, you have all day kids, god bless] Jimmy: [too in love] Janis: [bet Mia will make one of the gals dob you in] Jimmy: [she blatantly will, that snitch] Janis: [like get over it henny, why have you got nothing better on] Jimmy: [your jealousy and bitterness is simply not bringing us down rn hun] Janis: [we're already in trouble and don't care so like, what do you think you're achieving] Jimmy: [you're just annoying Grace even more than you already do gal, sadly she has not yet yeeted and we will have to endure the notp of her and Harry] Jimmy: [jimothy meanwhile is living his best life sending the bae pisstakey pics of these mums on the school run] Janis: ugh, put your tongue away Jimmy: @ the 🐕 Jimmy: nowt but 😎🖍 here Janis: well that was SO 🤓 so Janis: speak for yourself, not him Janis: dragging down his playground cred Jimmy: alright 😒🌧 then Janis: you'll get all the single mums that ain't learnt their lesson after you then Janis: sensible ones trying to tempt away the nice male teacher or one of the active dads Jimmy: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: Asia's mum Janis: She would Janis: you should, at least make Asia fuming Jimmy: see if I can convince her to 🔒 our kid's BFF in a cupboard or some bollocks an' all Jimmy: send her off to wherever the fuck she's named after Janis: must look up to the 💀💀s more that one Jimmy: must take after Asia with her 🧠 AND 🦷🦷 Janis: Poor little fuckers Jimmy: should have the full orchestra hanging about on this school run Janis: right? Janis: it's well depressing Jimmy: 💔 you ain't trained the 🐕 to take him to school for us Janis: soz she still needs a babysitter herself, like Janis: she'll be out of the puppy stage soon-ish and less of a handful but Nana is still a bit of a 💭 Jimmy: convenient excuses them, Janet Janis: 😒 Jimmy: *😏 Janis: I thought you were trained better than this, tbh Jimmy: said as you're having breakfast in bed Janis: you're saying I should be telling you how grateful I am rn? Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: Hmm Jimmy: wind your 🦒 neck in Jimmy: I'm being nice Janis: Charming as ever ��� Jimmy: [writes some v charming and extra post like there you go] Janis: it's gross yet impressive how fast you can turn it on Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: post about how fast you can turn it on would seem a bit cheap rn Janis: I'll be more 💕 too I GUESS Janis: [post it bitch] Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: now give me what the 1st draft were Janis: [something way more 🔥] Jimmy: you been holding out on me this whole time or what? Janis: can't distract you from your duties/milf hunting Jimmy: you've just proved you can Janis: alright, shouldn't Jimmy: why? Janis: because you're having SUCH a good time already Janis: what kind of mate? Jimmy: a TOP one, duh Janis: you haven't been that nice Janis: 💔 Jimmy: how have I not? Janis: aforementioned milfs Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: I'm sending those pisstaking 📷 of them but I'm looking at the ones of you Janis: Jealousy isn't cute, I get it Jimmy: whatever you do is cute, every dickhead gets that Janis: you're not every dickhead Janis: and I'm not that bitch Jimmy: and the kind of dickhead I am is alright with who you are Janis: ew Janis: 🤫🤫🤫 Jimmy: Oi Janis: we don't do mushy Jimmy: calm yourself down, I'll chuck a pillow at you in a bit or some bollocks Janis: I'll start an argument if you like Jimmy: has been AGES since the last one Janis: 👍 Janis: so much fun Jimmy: for Bill, I'd be chuffed to leave it out with the #drama Janis: unlucky Jimmy: for you, not being able to compete with Ian when it comes to having a strop Jimmy: I'll live Janis: fuck off Jimmy: this you starting the 🥊? Janis: you'd know if it was Janis: so no Jimmy: 👍 Janis: let's not Janis: I can't be arsed to go into school Jimmy: you know I don't wanna fight with you Janis: then we're not Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I'm capable Jimmy: never said you weren't Janis: you don't need to when you keep calling me stroppy like I'm Libi's fucking age Jimmy: I'm only pissing about Jimmy: call me what you like Janis: not feeling the 🤤 now soz Jimmy: 💔 Janis: isn't it just Janis: me and the 🐕 are out, if you rush, the bed will still be warm-ish Jimmy: 🏃 Jimmy: how much food she nick off you? Janis: erm she had to wait patiently until I was done Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: can't help being dominant Jimmy: send tweet Jimmy: I'll get one of the 🎻 to play for you Janis: for you Janis: 🥈 Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😏 Janis: ask Lucas, under me is EXACTLY where you wanna be, dickhead Jimmy: I'll @ him while I'm waiting for you Janis: better than the milfs Janis: he can't come 'round and seduce you Janis: #doubleenglishfirstperiod Jimmy: have to use his words Janis: if that's a hint Jimmy: for him that he can't half arse this just 'cause he's got one of Bill's classics to teach Janis: good luck Janis: he's way more touchy feely, despite the job title Jimmy: tah babe 😘 Janis: what's your angle Janis: besides being 2nd choice to me Jimmy: don't need one Jimmy: it's just that REAL between us, obvs Janis: 👌 Janis: what a nice change Jimmy: gotta have something to do when you're pissing about with this 🐕 Janis: thought you were 🥱😴? Jimmy: thought you promised me breakfast Janis: You can't nap and leave me to it? Janis: got loads of fantasies to be cracking on with, nothing else Jimmy: too excited, me Jimmy: you proper talked up how 🥇 it were gonna be a bit ago Janis: ✊💦 help you finish Janis: what a morning you're having Jimmy: don't keep you about for nowt Janis: aside from the fact I allegedly wouldn't go home Jimmy: it weren't like I were gonna make you Jimmy: or wanted to Janis: cheers Janis: if I was gonna argue with anyone Janis: better be you Janis: sorry Jimmy: we called a truce, you weren't allowed Janis: right Janis: be a bit rude to Jimmy: and you've got nowt to be sorry for Janis: I remember what we actually did Janis: so I know Jimmy: no hangover, not even that much of a pisshead in the first place, yeah I heard Janis: okay Janis: I know I was a bit Janis: not the end of the world Jimmy: not having a go Janis: thank god Jimmy: meant what I said Janis: what part? Jimmy: all of them Janis: nice and specific Janis: but okay Jimmy: alright, specifically not being a massive dickhead to you Jimmy: today at least Janis: don't worry Janis: you're never that bad Janis: not 🥇 anyway Jimmy: that's bollocks but sounds like 🥊🗨 an' all so I'll leave it out Janis: you reckon you're Ian levels of 🤬? Janis: nah Jimmy: there'd be a massive scale between him and me Jimmy: don't mean I weren't a twat to you before Janis: well you are a dickhead, don't need to apologize for who you are, like Janis: you're my mate, yeah Jimmy: your best mate, keep having to tell you Janis: I've still got the necklace Jimmy: be a bit rude if you'd chucked it Janis: don't just wear it when you're about Jimmy: don't just use my lighter when you are Janis: Your habit is pretty extensive Jimmy: 🚬's dead addictive, you not heard? Janis: 😱 Janis: and you let me have some Janis: wow Jimmy: not your daddy Jimmy: and it's a bit late for your growth to get stunted, Judith Janis: you're trying to make yourself feel tall Janis: that makes sense, Tom Jimmy: if I were bothered I'd chuck on a pair of 👠 Janis: or take a saw to mine Jimmy: I'll try not to go as far as fucking up your ankle again Jimmy: right ball ache that were Janis: why are you lying kathy Jimmy: Dunno what you mean Jimmy: ain't a 🪓 under this pillow or owt Jimmy: just me and my ⛓ how you're used to Janis: I'll come back then Janis: if you're promising no surprises Jimmy: [a pic of him snuggled in bed like see there's no danger] Janis: you're cute Jimmy: you Janis: I've got the evidence right in front of me so Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: 👀📷 Janis: I'd take better ones but there's nothing very sexy about freezing my nips off Janis: you can, when I'm back Jimmy: warm you up a bit first Janis: you will Jimmy: can easily promise that Janis: It's not easy though Janis: you're just good Jimmy: never been a hard job, can't take all the credit for that Jimmy: 🤏 you an' all Jimmy: probably have to share the 🏆 at least Janis: alright Janis: we can drink from it Janis: toast to how easy it is Jimmy: long as Bill's 👻 don't try and take over like the proud dad he is Janis: ☠ later Jimmy: he'll have to wait til after I've 💀💀💀 you loads of other ways Janis: you first in that respect Janis: always Jimmy: them lads from that estate'll still be fuming about it Jimmy: swings'll be 🔥 Janis: was never gonna get drunk enough to do shit with them 🤷 Jimmy: not enough drinks in whatever shop they robbed for you to wanna bother, I get it Janis: obviously Janis: not the only girl to ever fuck them over like that, they'll survive Janis: least they can't accuse me of being frigid without sounding stupid now Jimmy: if anyone's still calling you that it'll be me that's fuming Jimmy: what more have I gotta do, like? Janis: 🍆📹 they wish Jimmy: come here then Janis: 😏 Jimmy: *🏃 Janis: I get it, you need both hands free Jimmy: dunno what's ruder, that you're not well trained enough to leg it to me when I click my fingers or that you reckon I don't already have a tripod set up Janis: right, you're a PROFESSIONAL pervert Janis: excuse me Jimmy: get it right Janis: get yourself to church Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ your shit nan, see if she can pick me up Janis: I'll stop 🏃 then Jimmy: or just 🏃 faster Janis: you think I want to fight my nan again Jimmy: didn't know it were a habit Janis: oh Janis: yeah, obvs Jimmy: alright, if it stops you trying to 🥊 with me Janis: bit selfish but Janis: 👌 Jimmy: never said I weren't Janis: I definitely am so not gonna say nothing Jimmy: already said I like you, not gonna risk 🗨 it again after how that went Janis: no accounting for taste Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: got time to dry my eyes before you get back Janis: just about Janis: but I know you, so don't worry too much Jimmy: Oi Janis: I like you too Jimmy: that's alright then Jimmy: no need to chuck you out Janis: you promised you'd warm me up first Jimmy: 'course I will Jimmy: not an utter bastard Janis: I know Janis: fuck knows why I like you Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: Bill's gonna do you a list, look less bigheaded coming from him Janis: 🤏 Janis: [come back now] Jimmy: [show her why she likes you with the most extra and enthusiastic welcome ever] Janis: [thank god everyone has gone so we can do what we like, even Twix be having her breakfast rn] Jimmy: [the actual freedom because that's never a thing for him] Janis: [true, when he's here the kids always are, live your best life honeys, not that you were being considerate last night but you know lol] Jimmy: [the feelings just keep getting higher, they can't be blamed or tamed, 100000000% gonna get in the shower together later and run up Ian's water bill too not soz] Janis: [hohaha you know he's the type to be fuming so we gotta] Jimmy: [he's gonna be so fuming when Janis leaves because you've skipped school again as well, not looking forward to that but for now, I'm buzzing for you both] Janis: [no, we're all worried about that, lowkey trying to never leave again but we know we have to soon, just like 🥺] Jimmy: [it's not gonna be nice, fuck you Ian, thank god things are going well for jj rn so if he kicks jimothy out in the cold or something post brawl at least we have the bae] Janis: [subtly moves self in so Ian can never kick off again, we know that that is eventually what's gonna happen but sadly not yet] Jimmy: [can't wait for that] Janis: [lowkey take over your house because what you gon do sir, look after your children? unlikely] Jimmy: [or out yourself as an actual utter bastard by kicking off, even more unlikely] Janis: [like you can be salty but if you even asked for rent or whatever to try and get her out she'd just pay it so soz] Jimmy: [so glad Janis has worked out what Ian is really like because it'd seem like he was making it up/ it wasn't as bad if she hadn't] Janis: [the injuries don't lie, and if he'd got them from scrapping or whatever he would've just said 'cos it's much less shameful so we know] Jimmy: [and soz but who would this soft boy be fighting you're not a massive slag giving him grief like his ex] Janis: [exactly, we already know he ain't that boy either so like, pretend all you like Ian, we see you] Jimmy: [not soz he's not actually Liam 2.0 and a mad lad] Janis: [you'll see eventually fam, anywhosers, do we wanna do any of their day or skip to when she's gotta think about leaving] Jimmy: [we can probably skip because we know the vibe when they're together] Janis: [when are you gonna think you've gotta leave hmm] Jimmy: [and am I making you go to work after school or not hmm] Janis: [that would make sense, if you go to work and you leave] Jimmy: [let's do that then why not] Jimmy: [probably go pick Bobby up from school first and maybe take him and Twix to the park or something for a bit because Cass gonna mad at you after last night so] Janis: [yeah, we can give you that time, he's primary so he probably gets out pretty early] Jimmy: you wanna come with me? Jimmy: do some ☕🎨 Janis: tempting offer, boy Janis: I DO need to perfect the 💕 for the BIG day Jimmy: for the fans who ain't 😎 enough for the smoke rings I taught you Janis: all of them? Jimmy: SHOOK that you've forgotten the dickheads who vape Jimmy: good to know you ain't getting me one of them for the BIG day Janis: I bet they have flavours that are well appropriate though Janis: all 🍓🍧🍨🧁🍭🍬🍫 Jimmy: gimme 👼🏽🩸 and 🥀 or I don't want it 💔 Janis: That's why you've invited me Janis: 🤞 I fuck up that bad Janis: who's first aid? Jimmy: Pete 😍🤤 Jimmy: had loads of 🩺 fantasies obvs Janis: UGH Janis: what can't he do Jimmy: NOWT Jimmy: 💪🏆🩹💕 Jimmy: need a 🤕 that looks chuffed to bits Janis: 🥴 with a bandage, deffo Janis: cannot wait for my third degree burns now Jimmy: they'll probably be about though Jimmy: 💀👑 and that Jimmy: so you'll have to fake that your 😍🤤 is @ me til they've pissed off Janis: oh, duh Janis: caffeine so needed after a long day of bitching about everyone Janis: I reckon I'll manage Jimmy: haven't had their IRL 👀 on us all day Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: You need the audience, yeah? Jimmy: they need the updates Jimmy: nowt to do with me Janis: hmm Janis: alright, hate to disappoint 'em, obvs Jimmy: make it worth your ⏲ with 🥪🍪🧁 if their 👀🔪🔪 don't Janis: just don't make yourself sick of me Jimmy: bit rude to be taking the piss out of my stamina Janis: you're rude Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: been 🥇😇 all day Janis: exactly Jimmy: I just Jimmy: don't want you to 👋 yet Janis: Me either Janis: I'm coming Jimmy: okay Janis: I just feel a bit Janis: the hangover might've caught up with me Janis: easy on the 🍪🧁 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a smoothie Janis: so behind my 💪🏆 Jimmy: DUH Jimmy: you can sit in the back again an' all if you want Janis: that's okay Janis: gotta have all 👀s on us to make it count Jimmy: nowt makes 'em more fuming than what they can't 👀 all I'm 🗨 Jimmy: you don't need to worry about chucking them the 🍿 if you don't feel alright Janis: should teach them to lip read Janis: but don't Janis: I'm okay, honest Jimmy: [teaching her how to sign stuff for if she doesn't feel well that won't be obvious to the flatwhites cos lord knows some sign language really is] Janis: [doing some you've remembered from a previous sesh like look, I've learnt] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😏 I know, so impressive Janis: Libi makes me practice with her Jimmy: without me having to @ her an' all Jimmy: must be 💕 Janis: DUH Janis: don't be acting like you haven't had your 👂 signed off Jimmy: it's alright, he's deffo gonna outdo me with his 🎨 and 🎁s Jimmy: probably keep it going the whole 2 weeks, him Jimmy: CLEARLY mutual Janis: Your influence Jimmy: except I dunno what I'm gonna get you that won't make you start a scale for it from 🙄 to 🤮 Janis: you don't have to get ME fuck all Janis: you only have to 1 up the basic 🎁 every lad does Jimmy: you'll be stuck with it, might as well sort out something that's not a load of shite Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll hit Bobby up for tips Jimmy: too soon for a 💍? Jimmy: he'd say it ain't Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna have to keep an 👀 on him Jimmy: least he's only got 😍 for Libi and don't take after me in being a massive slag Jimmy: be proposing to his whole class Janis: be well pricey if he's not reusing Jimmy: have to break into one of them machines once the shop is out of the sweet ones Janis: hoeing was meant to bring in the 💰 not lose it Janis: 💔 Jimmy: not gonna say you should give him tips Jimmy: still don't wanna 🥊 tah Janis: Not gonna break no baby hearts, so you're safe for now Jimmy: now I know you're feeling 🤢 Janis: you're gonna have to later Jimmy: what for? Janis: 🥊 Janis: not me Jimmy: I thought you meant 💔👶 Jimmy: not in the job description but alright Janis: 'course not Janis: be a weird rule to have at any of 'em Janis: ☕ or 💕 Jimmy: piss easy though Janis: that's not up for debate Janis: taking the 🍭🍬 is well known Jimmy: *🍪🧁 Jimmy: off you and them Janis: so tough Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I won't wanna go Janis: you promised you'd teach me how to do the thing Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: I'll make it worth your while Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: come on Janis: you know me Jimmy: and you know I'm only pissing about, Jules Jimmy: VERY impressive, you Jimmy: said it before Janis: I'll get you to say it again Janis: one way or another Jimmy: you can't just say that like it's nowt and we're just gonna go crack on with ☕🎨 Janis: why not? Jimmy: you know why not Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: you're so Janis: that's you Jimmy: you Janis: you did such a good job on your first job Janis: you deserve to have a good shift Jimmy: it weren't a job today Janis: true Jimmy: I'll call in sick if you want, my nursing kink ain't gone nowhere Janis: No, no Janis: we'll have a good time Jimmy: can't deny that Janis: you can but I'm gonna do my best Jimmy: you'd know I were faking if I tried to bother Janis: let's not Janis: even if they're there Janis: we can still work it Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Jimmy: it still won't feel like a job, however hard work 💀👑 and her mates are Janis: neither of us need it Janis: they'll see 😍 regardless 'cos they want to Jimmy: right Jimmy: we've done our 💕 posts Janis: and it's not like I'll be ignoring you Jimmy: or that I can ever ignore you Janis: they don't know the difference Jimmy: 🧠💀💀💀 Janis: and you do 💀💀 me Janis: really Jimmy: you're killing me now Janis: sorry Janis: IOU Jimmy: when you feel less hungover Janis: I don't feel hungover Janis: I just miss you and I'm gonna miss you Jimmy: no need to miss me now and if you do in a bit I'll do the balcony scene 🌹 Jimmy: gone further to come get you and I didn't get lost Janis: it was VERY impressive, baby Jimmy: do alright under pressure Jimmy: @ my manager Janis: I'll put it on the trip advisor review Jimmy: tah Janis: I'll keep it PG Janis: or at the very least be vague about which barista I'm fucking Jimmy: I get it, this were nowt but a plan to get Pete's girlfriend to piss off Janis: 🤫🤫 Janis: worked SO hard on this plan, you ain't fucking it up for me Jimmy: 🤐 for now but he'll get it out of me Janis: great, now I've got to have a threesome with you 🙄 Jimmy: need a different eye rolling emoji for that Jimmy: get a bit closer to your actual review Janis: don't you dare make me 😳 in front of him Jimmy: it ain't my fault you're 😳 whenever I'm about Janis: psh Janis: whichever way you look at it that's clearly bollocks Jimmy: you're 🗨 bollocks denying it, mate Janis: shut up Jimmy: make me Janis: you're on Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: sorted our kid out now, I can do you before we have to go Janis: 1. no you can't 2. don't add me to your to-do list Jimmy: 1. yeah I can 2. you're top of every list, don't be a dickhead Janis: I want you too much Jimmy: so come here Jimmy: there's loads I can do about that Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [I'm just like do we want these kids to ruin this for you or no cos clearly both around] Janis: [when we're gonna be so rude later we're like ahh have everything lol, you probably would get cocklblocked though being real] Jimmy: [hence I was conflicted because Ian is gonna be a huge cunt and hurt you boy but realism though] Janis: [you can have an enjoyable time at the CG before we make you say goodbye it's okay, like it's not but] Jimmy: [we're doing what we can lads, you're welcome] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to then now if you like] Janis: [skippity doo dah] Jimmy: [do we wanna do any of the CG stuff is the question or fully go to later] Janis: [we could just vibe out how the gals are 'cos we already said Mia and co are being extra like skipping school is so shocking, then skip to when they have to say goodbye 'cos it'll be emosh] Jimmy: [that's a fair shout I think because yeah we know that they'll be goals without trying so it's just how Mia's trying to be] Janis: ['cos soon she's gonna literally get him fired so clearly she's gonna be a cow] Jimmy: [making complaints like a Karen when he's literally done nothing wrong, we see you] Janis: [she should be like IS THAT GIRL TRAINED when he's letting Janis do some latte art, as if they're giving anyone the ones she's making, so then they have to stop] Jimmy: [that's so petty she would, like gal we weren't gonna serve it to you we're just having a nice time while there is a lull in customers step back] Janis: [seriously, excuse us tryna have fun, like we still will but clearly that's the vibe, any time they try to do something she's like UM] Jimmy: [yeah and any time he tries to go remotely near the bae's table she suddenly needs something as if he's the only barista here] Janis: Can she be our second victim? Janis: 🔪🔪 Jimmy: first Jimmy: no need to hang about Janis: I'll clearly poison her 'cos I dunno how to make a latte Janis: whoops Jimmy: could let you loose with the steam wand Janis: her face just looks like that Jimmy: exactly, can't be traced back to you Janis: I don't want Pete to give me his disappointed face when he has to give her a bandage and write it in the accident book though Janis: 😥 Jimmy: I'll say it were me, piss easy to get his forgiveness 😘 Janis: rude Jimmy: it's alright, I know how to get yours an' all Janis: you do not Jimmy: 😏 Janis: dickhead Janis: meant to be focused on the murder anyway, you've got well off topic Jimmy: Oi, well decent at 🤹 now, me Janis: you need to work on your 🏃 clearly Jimmy: get my 🐕 trained and then we'll 🗨 Janis: am I even qualified? Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: can you get 💀👑 to behave herself or what? Janis: could give it a go Janis: what's in it for me though Jimmy: other than getting to rub her noise in her 🤮 next time she pisses off to the 🚽 how dickheads do when their 🐕s piss, you mean? Jimmy: what else do you want? Janis: save on you cleaning it up, you mean Janis: but alright Janis: [go over to the gals table like they haven't been actively being bitchy like HEY BABES WHAT'S UP] Jimmy: [comes over too like is there anything else you need and just being subtly but not subtly touchy feely with the bae while you're there to annoy Mia like what are you gonna do bitch make a complaint cos I'm playing with her hair] Janis: [getting y'all a massive cake or muffin or whatever that you would never order yourselves like our treat!] Jimmy: [LOL I love that, Hollie will be buzzing] Janis: [finally some food, just force feeding you like what are you gonna do, say no and look weird? I think not] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: worth it for the 😨😰 Janis: just collateral the ones that eat occasionally are getting fed but I'll cope Jimmy: do you want owt or have they made you lose your appetite? Jimmy: tell me so I can fake that I 🧠📖 Janis: I'll take a smoothie Janis: bonus points that I can brag about how talented you are or whatever Jimmy: and she can have a go that I ignored a load of dickheads to get it done for you Jimmy: they must be 👻s an' all Janis: since when was 💕a crime, Mia Janis: must've been dumped Jimmy: when I'm 45 and undercover 👮🚔 but that's our secret so Janis: She'd be far too into you then Janis: no escape Jimmy: [IRL 🤫 cos he looks hot doing it and then it looks like they are being saucy with their convo lol] Janis: [🤭 energy back but not exactly that obviously] Jimmy: [😏😍 energy that is not fake because I 100% assume she's wearing his clothes rn cos not been home and looking cute af] Jimmy: [definitely giving as many LOOKs as we can while we make this smoothie] Janis: [she definitely is so that's adorable and we never need to fake this energy lbr] Jimmy: [you've never had to fake much of anything we know and that's why this works] Janis: [mhmm, faking an interest in y'alls convo however? very much so] Janis: please tell me you're due a 🚬 soon Jimmy: manager ain't about to stop me Jimmy: bit busy with his 👂🩸 from all her whinging probably Janis: definitely better not go out back as it's staff only Jimmy: What?! 😱 you DON'T work here? Jimmy: top ☕🎨 like that! Janis: I know right?! Janis: #hiremegreg Jimmy: [writes her a review as if she do work here] Janis: pretty generous Jimmy: [shows her some pics of his early latte art like look how shit I was] Janis: awh, baby's first ☕🎨 Janis: only got a few years before your brother comes for this gig too Jimmy: 🤞 they'll have heard of coffee in the north by then Jimmy: he'll be 💔😭😭 else Janis: 😏 Janis: you're not emmerdale northern, I remember, can't fool me Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: real 🤞 he's stopped copying me ages before that Janis: you'll lose your ✨ Jimmy: ⏲ Jimmy: [give her this smoothie with today's 🎨 on the napkin and a kiss on the cheek] Janis: [insta that in front of the gals, obvs, just showing you all how cute we are] Janis: 🤞 I don't forget and wipe my face with that Jimmy: 🤞 I've got my 📷 out when you do Janis: I won't Janis: 🐘 memory Jimmy: 💔 you'd look well shakespearian with a pen beard Jimmy: Bill's gonna roll in his ⚰ at the missed chance Janis: I don't need to think about him that excited, tbh Jimmy: 👻🎻 Janis: you're the slag, you deal with it Jimmy: alright Jimmy: leave you with whatever you wanna 💭 about instead Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: what happened to our break? Jimmy: nowt, ready when you are Janis: [run away because we are over this girly chat like let's go] Jimmy: [you lasted longer than I would gal hence Jimothy will light you a 🚬 cos deserved] Janis: [you can dramatically breathe out like PHEW] Jimmy: [do your own because we all know what you're thinking about but we can pretend it's either a pisstake of hers or in solidarity] Janis: [reaching out to squeeze the hand that isn't holding his cigarette] Jimmy: [writing an o and a k on the back of hers but not establishing whether we're saying we are or asking if she is] Janis: [kissing the back of his] Jimmy: [kissing her dramatically because he cannot handle the softness rn] Janis: [we can go with that too] Jimmy: [just have a moment lads that's deserved too] Janis: [going in 'cos our emotions] Jimmy: [likewise because it's not like you care about all the people going past or that can see you inside] Janis: [keep going to say 'we-' and 'you-' like many times but never actually finishing either sentence 'cos you know he can't] Jimmy: [and don't talk to me about how tightly he's holding onto her because never mind this break not being long enough, this whole shift isn't and the goodbye and how evil I'm gonna be is looming over us] Janis: [gonna need someone to come through and break yous up we all know it] Jimmy: [thank god there's lots of possibilities for that cos of where you are] Janis: [someone else just tryna have their break lol] Jimmy: [soz but not] Janis: [truly] Janis: I'll brb Jimmy: Where you going? Janis: just need to get some stuff Jimmy: 🔪🪓🔧🔨🧱🧨🛢 I get it Janis: exactly Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: they should fuck off now 🤞 Jimmy: *🤞😁🤞 Janis: I'll do that whole way down the street, like Jimmy: 📷 it for us Jimmy: nowt else would do to make me 😁😁😁 Janis: ugh Janis: now I have to Jimmy: if you want a 🏆 or IOU Janis: [obviously we are] Jimmy: [have a lil reaction vid back as if we're not literally meant to be working because we're a nerd and in love] Janis: there we go Janis: all worth it now Janis: even though I looked like tiktok tammy Jimmy: 🦍🌃 Jimmy: you could NEVER Janis: compliment or diss? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: dunno Janis: 'cos if you're saying I can't dance like I'm having a seizure that's a lie Jimmy: you're gonna have to prove that now, you get that, yeah? Jimmy: walked right into making yourself look a twat Janis: you ask for any more 📷 and it's just gonna be weird Jimmy: alright, if you'd rather do it here in front of dickheads buying ☕ crack on Jimmy: I'll wait Janis: what about me doesn't scream 'loves an audience' Jimmy: what about me makes you reckon I'll be up for being your fake boyfriend after any of that bollocks? Jimmy: far as plans to dump me go Janis: you're the one asking me to do it, dickhead Janis: can't reverse psychology your way into getting to be the one doing the dumping Jimmy: you set yourself up, dickhead, nowt to do with me Janis: you could let it slide Janis: you already know I can dance Jimmy: I could Jimmy: you have got that IOU Janis: not what I'd use it for in an ideal world but Jimmy: might let you keep it and let it go an' all if I like the sound of what you would use it for Jimmy: am in a VERY 😁 mood now Janis: that'd be telling Janis: can't risk that 😁 Jimmy: go on Jimmy: you said it were in an ideal world, nowt but 😁 there Janis: but that ain't where any of us is Janis: so no point Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: yeah Janis: you weren't meant to stop 😁 Jimmy: doing my customer service face, it's as near Janis: if you're an alien who's never seen a person before Jimmy: busted 💔 Janis: 👮=👽 checks out Jimmy: bit racist of you but I get it, the north does look like something out of a shite sci fi film Jimmy: all them fuming orange lasses with nowt on 🤞 for 👽 Janis: bit up yourself Janis: but won't disagree Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: maybe you should go back Janis: first, like Jimmy: what for? Janis: so your dad has to relocate Jimmy: might just still be about big enough for the both of us Janis: it might work Janis: if you keep doing a runner Jimmy: don't see that happening with 👶👶🐕 Janis: he'd get fed up of looking after them, right Jimmy: not leaving them with him long enough to find out Janis: okay Jimmy: or trusting Ian to work out where I'd gone even if I left a 💌 with a drawn out map Janis: he can't be that thick Jimmy: why can't he? Janis: it's impossible he's not heard what your sister wants Janis: ignoring it is another issue Jimmy: yeah Janis: anyway Jimmy: what he's too thick to work out is that she wants a person not a place Jimmy: that's how he reckons he can make it work here with his 🎁💰🐕 Janis: guess he can't give that anywhere Jimmy: he could give her her mates back who were there and know about it, instead of this bollocks where it only gets 🗨 for each new Sharon who comes about Janis: so tell her to do it Jimmy: what makes you think I can tell her to do owt Janis: it's what she wants to do, so help her do it so she doesn't fuck it up Jimmy: she's a kid, I'm not helping her piss off on her own Janis: not permanently Janis: just so he has to do something about it Jimmy: no Janis: alright Jimmy: it's not alright, what the fuck's wrong with you? Janis: she's 12, not 2 Janis: and you said she has friends, all it is is showing up on their doorstep unannounced and waiting for their parents to call Jimmy: she's my sister, not some dickhead I don't care about that I'd use to score points against him Janis: I didn't say you had to, it was just a suggestion Jimmy: leave it out Janis: I said alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: what? Janis: forget it Jimmy: forget what? Janis: don't be a dick Jimmy: you started it Janis: by trying to help, sure Jimmy: I never asked for it Janis: nah, 'course not Jimmy: you don't know her Jimmy: and if she got it into her head to go looking for my mum instead of pissing about at a mates for a bit, fuck knows what'd happen Janis: like it's going to be easy to convince your dad to move back when he moved for a reason Jimmy: I'm not thick, alright Jimmy: I know how decent his job here is Janis: you either want to do something about it or you don't Janis: and you clearly don't so that's what forget it means Jimmy: stop having a go at me Jimmy: you clearly don't have a fucking clue about what I do or don't want Janis: this is pointless Jimmy: yeah, it is Janis: bye then Jimmy: 👋 Janis: I'll be over the road when you want your stuff back later Jimmy: it's nowt I need back in a bit Janis: then I'll leave it there Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [what do you wanna do like after he's gone home and dealt?] Jimmy: [I'll hit you back up because I was thinking injury wise like obvs it makes sense for them all to be hidden still because Ian is probs suss of Janis so like whatever healing his ribs have done they are probably fucked again but if it's lowkey that whole side of his body his wrist and arm would be an easy one for people to maybe notice at school but not think is a big deal because people hurt them all the time by putting them out when they fall etc and he can write with his other hand anyway but because we want some #drama and none of the bruises will be !! for a couple of days he could also have a dislocated shoulder as it's painful and shock factor for her to having to pop it back in but easy enough that she could without anyone else having to be involved] Jimmy: You still over the road or what? Janis: yes Janis: do you need to come in? Jimmy: come out Janis: ok Janis: [do that quickly 'cos we've clearly just been waiting] Jimmy: [I dread to think the state of this poor boy just trying not to cry outside mcvickers gaff like hey] Janis: [we're gonna be really shocked but pretending hard not to be like okay, just trying to survey the damage 'what do you need me to do?'] Jimmy: [show her your shoulder boy like nbd just casually pop this back into place because we're lowkey in shock here hence we told her to come outside even though you're gonna have to go in because you have to do this while he's lying on a bed you can't just do it here] Janis: [just gonna lead you inside without touching you or saying anything, just gesturing like come on 'it's okay' which is the furthest thing from the truth but what else can you say rn] Jimmy: [thank god you can trust her not only to do this but to not tell anyone because what a big ask when we're literally a month in] Janis: [lowkey, thank god you have a room here too, gonna rip your top off instead of trying to get it off 'cos impossible and bunching it in a way to make a decent gag because don't need to bite through your tongue or scream the house down, letting him get ready in that much and getting on the bed but not giving him loads of warning because best way to do it] Jimmy: [last we need is Libi or mcvickers rocking up and interrupting any of this so well played gal because he is not in a headspace to be helpful rn] Janis: [at least its one of those things where it's better once it's done so that'll be some minor relief for you, still, 'sorry' though 'cos it's fucking gnarly 'wait here' and going out to the bathroom, thank god they're old and probably have some decent painkillers, have to cross that bridge later when they think you've taken 'em for fun gal] Jimmy: [if he was thinking clearly he would not have come here because you already know too much gal and more importantly isn't not fair to make you do this when you're literally supposed to get xrays and shit first but here we are and you know he's saying sorry too and also trying to stop her from leaving even though she's literally just going too the bathroom and we realistically know that] Janis: [just keep telling him it's okay over and over 'we need to get you comfortable, okay? then we'll-' trail off 'cos we don't know and we know that's gonna be a journey to get there] Jimmy: [just nod because we know she's not wrong you do need those painkillers] Janis: [get as many of them down you as is safe boy, thanks for having a decent stash guys, also bandages we're gonna try to make use of now, taking his hand gently 'do you think any of the fingers are broken?'] Jimmy: [they gonna be suss about where all this has gone you're gonna have to lie convincingly gal, but for now we're just moving all our fingers by like messing about doing the signing alphabet and stuff like cos I'm gonna let you live and say they are okay] Janis: [sigh of relief like okay, we don't need to splint any of those, checking to see if he can bend his arm and how high he can etc before settling on splinting the whole forearm and then doing a sling 'he does realize you'll probably have to take more time off school now, where's the fucking sense in that' basically to ourselves and under our breath 'cos we know it's not logical and also not really about that] Jimmy: [didn't realise when you were having all that fun fake nursing each other that it would come to this, did you lads? ugh Ian, but jimothy is just getting ready to go when she's done this like okay thanks bye as if I'm just gonna let you walk out and go back to big brother duties and whatever else you're thinking about rn sir] Janis: [putting a hand out like stop 'you can't just go back'] Jimmy: ['I can't just stay here' like you literally can boy it's okay] Janis: '[just sit down, you need to give yourself chance to catch up'] Jimmy: [when you do sit down without arguing or saying anything pisstakey and it's so unlike him that we all hate it] Janis: [sit in silent shock for a sec guys 'you know you can't let him do this again' 'you will end up in hospital'] Jimmy: ['you're acting like there's owt else I can do that I've not'] Janis: ['that isn't what I'm saying' 'this isn't working, not any more'] Jimmy: ['What then, you still want me to tell Cass to crack on making him more fuming than I ever have done, knowing what he's like?] Janis: ['has he hit her?'] Jimmy: ['not yet'] Janis: ['you're gonna have to consider possibilities you don't like, you can't live like this'] Jimmy: ['there ain't a possibility I've not, I've been living like this for ages'] Janis: ['this isn't just discipline or whatever the fuck, it's assault and he knows that, wouldn't you be better off without him?'] Jimmy: ['where do you reckon we'd go? They're not better off without me'] Janis: ['I don't know, all I know is, he gives you any more injuries, neither of you will have any say who gets involved, okay'] Jimmy: ['he's got away with it this long'] Janis: ['well he isn't now'] Jimmy: ['I didn't come here for you to have another go at me'] Janis: ['I'm not'] Jimmy: ['nobody knows fuck all about it and that's the way it's staying'] Janis: [just shrugging like okay and getting up to go 'get some sleep' Jimmy: [likewise getting up to leave and actually go home this time like okay bye] Janis: ['next time this happens, don't come to me for help, because this isn't fair' 'because I do know and I'm not going to pretend I don't again'] Jimmy: ['I shouldn't have bothered coming this time' because we know it's not fair and we're just very sad and frustrated by life obvs 'do what you like' because lord knows we would if we could] Janis: ['I'm not going to tell anyone' 'but it has nothing to do with what I like, Jesus fucking Christ'] Jimmy: ['and I'm not saying tah for you not being a massive dickhead who'd proper fuck my little brother and sister over' a shrug but we're maintaining eye contact because this is serious] Janis: ['it's not about them' because it ain't Jimmy: ['you tell anyone and they'll get chucked into care same as I would'] Janis: ['remind him of that, not me'] Jimmy: ['you don't think I have done?'] Janis: ['there are ways to make it a more serious threat'] Jimmy: [just an exhausted sigh because he's doing everything he can always and it's not enough ever] Janis: ['think about it, the last thing he wants is people knowing, yeah? well I know'] Jimmy: ['might work for a bit, til he's too fuming to be bothered and just tells himself no dickhead'll believe you or owt else he needs to'] Janis: [just looks at him like there's all the evidence needed 'not like it's being made up though'] Jimmy: ['alright, it might be enough to get him to fuck off back to the north and get us away from you, but that don't help me'] Janis: ['except he doesn't want to go back, as is very fucking obvious by now, so it'd be easier for him to stop beating the shit out of you than do that'] Jimmy: [a look like yeah obviously but that doesn't mean he will] Janis: ['it's accountability, if he keeps doing it, I could tell anyone, everyone- he clearly reckons you won't by now, he doesn't know that about me'] Jimmy: [just clearly thinking about if she did have to then follow through on that threat though and tell everyone and how much he obviously doesn't want anyone to know and all of this is just in his expression rn] Janis: [shaking our head like well there's fuck all else to say rn 'get some sleep'] Jimmy: ['stop saying that' cos clearly neither of them will be able to very easily] Janis: ['you need it to heal'] Jimmy: ['just say you want me to piss off, you've already said not to bother coming back'] Janis: ['I'm trying to fucking help you'] Jimmy: ['I know' in a purely frustrated way but then repeating it in a soft way because we do know that] Janis: ['I don't know what else you want me to do'] Jimmy: ['I never said I knew what I were doing or what you should' this boy trying not to cry again over here] Janis: ['don't' but softly 'cos we've been trying not to cry this whole convo lowkey and we don't wanna do it now] Jimmy: [doing a feelsy lean with our good side because we want to hug her but we can't] Janis: ['I mean it' and moving away so he doesn't hurt himself, but not dramatically like get away] Jimmy: [a nod because we know and we appreciate everything she has done and is trying to do more than we can put into words without crying rn ' but I shouldn't have made you do that' a look at his shoulder 'I'm a dickhead'] Janis: [shrug like it's nothing, like I'm sure you've seen dislocated shoulders but doubt you were the one putting them back in but okay 'don't mean you deserve any of this'] Jimmy: [a look like don't because we know it's not nothing and we're really sorry about this now we're thinking clearer] Janis: ['you didn't have anywhere else to go'] Jimmy: ['that don't mean it were alright to come here and do this to you'] Janis: ['I'm not the one battered and bruised, I'm fine'] Jimmy: ['I'm used to that bollocks, it's having someone be bothered about it that I can't get my head round' when you aren't used to having people care about you ever so you always feel like you're fucking it up] Janis: ['be a pretty shit person if I didn't' 'so I can see the confusion' not really the time to be salty about that but we are] Jimmy: [a lol which we then regret because ouch] Janis: [tryna be serious like 'for fuck's sake' but a lil bit 😏] Jimmy: [when you wanna kiss her so much that you've simply got to, injuries be damned] Janis: [at least your face is purposely avoided so you'll be okay but you can't go in sad times for you 'I'm sorry' 'that you think I'm having a go at you'] Jimmy: [shaking his head because he genuinely doesn't think that 'I didn't mean that it were just -' no need to finish that because she knows what you mean, we've all been put through it tonight honey and we've already admitted we've been a dickhead] Janis: [nods because yeah 'I was never saying it was easy, I don't think that'] Jimmy: [also nods because yeah 'and I weren't saying it were a shit idea'] Janis: ['I just want-' not finishing that sentence like never mind 'anyway'] Jimmy: [all the eye contact because always 'what?'] Janis: ['I just want you to be alright' mumbling and not giving more than a second of eye contact like you haven't already said ily and that you care] Jimmy: [posing to show off the amazing job she's done bandaging him up and 😁 like I am alright now as if it's that simple] Janis: [just like mhmm like that is not what I mean and you know that but we don't need to get into it rn it's okay] Jimmy: [pull her even closer to you because we do know what she means and we appreciate it] Janis: [checking him like be careful please 'I'm sleeping on the floor' it's definitely a double but we don't wanna hurt him] Jimmy: [gestures at the bed like um look how much space there is compared to what we've used to 'no need for that'] Janis: ['could make a pillow wall' like people who hate their partners do lmao] Jimmy: ['that'll be Mia at every one of them sleepovers, cracking on just like her dad taught her' shading Ella and Mia's mum in one go lol] Janis: [we have to lol 'poor els, no 'accidental' rub ups for her'] Jimmy: [goes to do the 💔 but can only do half so has to force the bae to do the other bit for us] Janis: ['so tragic' and lowkey forcing him to get situated properly in this bed as comfortably as possible 'what are you gonna say happened then?' 'cos can't hide for the whole time it'd take to heal] Jimmy: ['weren't planning to do a q&a about it' cos he's honestly not thought about it yet with everything else he has been thinking about 'don't matter as long as nobody reckons you smacked me about'] Janis: [a look like who is going to think that? then rolling our eyes 'cos is the type of thing Mia would try to say lol 'well no one is going to think you got it playing a sport' cheeky bit of shade as we are looking in the wardrobe and under the bed for something] Jimmy: [chucking a pillow at her for the shade like oi 'I'll say I fell over or some bollocks, worked for my mum'] Janis: [making a noise like psh but we're not throwing that back 'you tryna prove you have aim? alright, I believe you' and coming back with the pillow and the sleeping bag we've retrieved to sleep in so we're not rolling all over] Jimmy: [a look like you know how good my aim is because any excuse to be saucy about anything especially when we're so upset about this whole sleeping situation but trying to downplay it] Janis: ['thank god you're ambidextrous' meant to be taking the piss out of him but it just sounds thirsty so we're loling] Jimmy: [😏 'you'll have to tweet that so the fans know'] Janis: ['the offers to fill in whilst you're injured would probably be a lot'] Jimmy: [😒 because we don't wanna think about that 'won't be a slaggy nurse's outfit left in this shithole once they've heard' because also true] Janis: [likewise 'gross' and shaking our head 'there's nothing sexy about hospital'] Jimmy: [a fed up sigh 'I can't be bothered with this' like it's an option to just not be injured, soz boy] Janis: [squeeze his non-injured hand like I know 'it'll be alright, we'll work it out'] Jimmy: ['can we not just fake going away like we were gonna do at new year's?' probably not boy but it's a nice thought] Janis: ['it'd be easier to actually go away' but a tone that's saying, that's how long it'd need to be, not suggesting it] Jimmy: ['let's do that then' as if that's remotely plausible in any way] Janis: ['are you concussed as well?' and moving our fingers about in front of him like follow but 😏 'cos we don't think he actually is obvs or we wouldn't be joking] Jimmy: [takes her hand and turns it into a 👍 like she's agreeing to his great idea 'wouldn't even have to be for that long' because we know he's not gonna do the 2 weeks off that you're meant to when you dislocate your shoulder because he never does what he's supposed to] Janis: ['where are we going then?' as we lay down ourselves] Jimmy: ['where do you wanna go?'] Janis: ['don't care' because we don't 'what about you?@'] Jimmy: ['what makes you think I care?' because likewise we don't] Janis: ['then just not here it is' turning to face him in our little sleeping bag 'assuming the pain pills don't wear off and you change your mind'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile at the prospect of getting to leave for a bit together even hypothetically tbh 'when they wear off you might change yours' and doing a 😒 af face] Janis: ['this is you being a delight, yeah?' and do a feelsy lean assuming we're sleeping on his good side 'cos makes sense] Jimmy: ['that were me doing an impression of you remembering what a nightmare I were last time we went away' because that skerries domestic when she tried to get him to sleep in a bed we all remember those joys] Janis: ['bit rude' like how dare you insinuated I'm ever grumpy lollolollll 'you'll be less trouble now you're fucked up' but a sad sigh 'cos its not funny though we're trying] Jimmy: [taking her hand again so you can write soz on it playfully but then just properly hold it because we heard that sad sigh and we are really soz in our heart] Janis: [doing the 👌 symbol which is probs hard to follow so then just doing a 💕 like] Jimmy: [doing an irl 🤝 because best friends forever] Janis: [then tucking him in like go to sleep nerd 'it'll be better in the morning'] Jimmy: [goes to say something because it won't be but we're deciding against it so she doesn't sad sigh again and closing our eyes instead] Janis: [gently lean over and kiss both his eyes] Jimmy: [not opening our eyes or anything but 'I really fucking like you' with feeling because he do] Janis: [got to kiss you on the lips with as much feeling 'cos we cannot trust ourselves to say anything rn] Jimmy: [have a moment because it's been a very dramatic night]

[purplesurveys]

969

What is your least favourite thing about your full name? I don’t know if it’s right to say I have a least favorite thing about it. At this point in my life I’ve gotten over complaining about anything about my name and I’ve ended up liking it, actually.

How good is your grammar? My fluency in both English and Filipino is pretty much perfect. Kinda called for when it comes to communications graduates, haha. But yeah I grew up speaking Filipino and then learned English through media, school, and my English-speaking friends, so my exposure has always been balanced.

Do you like the age you are? Idk I feel like age loses its significance when you’re like 20. < Yeah, same. The last age I got excited about was 20, but turning 22 this year felt a little boring and not just because I had to celebrate at home. I’m imagining it would be the same for 23, 24, 26, 27, etc and that I’ll only look forward to milestone years now, like those that end in 5 or 0.

Music. It’s amazing. Do you agree? It’s great, but I’m not as attached to music as most people are. It’s hard for me to get into new acts and I mostly stick to the artists and albums I’ve listened for years. Music can also sometimes be too emotional for me, so most of the time I prefer flocking to content that will entertain me when I’m sad, like sitcoms or YouTube videos.

What’s your favourite kind of poptart? I’ve mentioned this before but only like, five flavors ever get shipped to the Philippines. My favorite is chocolate fudge, but I’m sure I would have other favorites if we were able to have their whole flavor roster.

Do you like sunglasses? I don’t really care for them. They look nice and there are certainly a lot of cute and classy sunglasses designs out there, but ultimately I don’t like how it impairs my vision. No matter how bright it is where I am, I tend to not feel comfortable when everything I see has a black or brown tint to them. 

Do you think dreams can give us insight to things? I don’t know if it can give insights, but I believe that your general emotions and life experiences can have a hand in what dreams you end up having. In my case, whenever something is currently heavily troubling me I always, always end up dreaming about them.

Have any cheesy kids songs memorized? Depends on what you mean by cheesy kid’s songs. I don’t actually know what that refers to.

Besides your computer, what else is cluttering your desk? A Tupperware with peanut brittle, another Tupperware with a half-eaten brookie, two notebooks, my copy of Midnight Sun, my phone charger, a nearly-empty glass of water, and my night light.

Why is your worst enemy your worst? I don’t have an enemy...haven’t had one since, like, grade school.

What does your dad do? He’s an executive sous chef at a luxury liner. But his company and the nature of his work is obviously one of the most affected by Covid, so he hasn’t been in his workplace since February and it’s impossible to tell when he’ll be needed again.

How late do you usually stay up? During weekdays, I’m in bed by 9 or 10 PM. Work is exhausting most days. But on the weekends, I’m able to stay up til midnight or even a few hours beyond that.

The political spectrum. Where do you fall? The more radical side of the left.

Do those commercials from the ASPCA make you cry? They’re a US-based org so no I haven’t, but their ads probably do have the ability to make me cry.

When was the last time you visited a nail salon? I remember going inside a nail salon with Gabie in like 2017? 2018? because she had been trying to get me interested in pampering sessions for myself haha. I never saw the appeal though and if I remember correctly that was the only time I ever found myself inside of a nail salon.

What was the last thing you used sliced bread to make? My breakfast yesterday. I just used the bread to wrap a hotdog. 

If you had to eat one type (Chinese, etc.) of food which would it be? I would have absolutely no problem eating Indian food for the rest of my life. Their spices, the curries, breads, chutney, samosas, paneer? *chef’s kiss*

Enough about food. Have you used Wikipedia for a school report? I used Wikipedia all the time but use the sources on the bottom of the page. It was so easy to go around the whole “don’t use Wikipedia for research” when the sources cited in Wikipedia articles are always subject to strict review by the site’s moderators to ensure their credibility lol.

What is your favourite glass to drink from? I love my mom’s Starbucks mug. I use it all the time when she isn’t home.

When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? We’ve never migrated, even though my mom had always wanted us to. If we pushed through with it, we most likely would have landed in either the US or Canada.

What does your room look like when you sleep? Completely dark. I also like keeping my windows open and my blinds partially open, because the cold air at night feels nice.

What tabs are open on your computer? The window I’m currently on is pretty loaded actually. There are six Tumblr tabs, 12 Bzoink tabs, two tabs on Google search, and one Wikipedia tab.

Are your fingers long, or short? They’re rather long. 

Reality TV: Love it, or hate it? OMG hahah I like most of them, but I can’t stand dating shows. As a demi, I just could never relate to the idea of casual dating and dating shows have always been super boring to me. I can binge most of the other reality TV shows though, especially cooking ones and KUWTK.

What time is it in the country you get the most of your heritage from? Welp, that’s a creative way to put it. 6:47 PM.

Do you use a top sheet? My current bedsheet doesn’t come with one but I do have other bedsheets with top sheets that I routinely change to.

How often do you engage in illegal behaviour? It comes up every now and then but it’s nothing more than illegally downloading books and movies lol.

Who is your favourite comedian? I’m not big on comedians but I came across Sindhu Vee’s stand-up comedy on Facebook a month ago and she’s sooooooo fucking hilarious. Jokes about extreme Asian parenting will never get old for me. I definitely wish more of her acts were available online.

Do people say you have an accent? Sometimes I’ll get compliments for being able to speak in English well, but idk about accents.

Could you tell me what the capital of Bosnia is without looking it up? Nope. I wouldn’t even be able to point at its general region on a map. Soz.

AOL: Do you use it? No.

Do you find Family Guy’s cutaway scenes funny, or annoying? I generally find cutaway scenes funny. I’m sure I would find Family Guy’s funny as well, considering I’ve enjoyed their humor styles in the past.

What colours are on your current shirt? Brown.

How many children do you want/have? Two.

Would you rather live in this decade, the 1960’s, or the 1910’s? 1910s. The very limited women’s rights and social issues of the time would be sucky to witness, but I’m still interested to see how different life was back then whether in terms of technology, how different my city used to look, or whatever.

Pepsi vs. Coke? Neither.

Do you think you look good with a hat on? Sure, I like hats :)

[blueeyedrichie]

also for the ask game... miniseries reddie or movie reddie 👀

You’re really making me make hard decisions today 😔 but honestlyyyyyy I’m so soft for miniseries reddie bc HE CARRIED HIM OUT NOTHING WILL EVER BEAT THAT especially not THAT exchange between reddie in the movie. Also I’m extremely soft for blonde eddie all the time but especially lately. Tho mr haders richie is basically the loml and I do love and adore the kissing bridge scene and stuff but like. He carried him out dude. Soz abt it but miniseries reddie is precious and that’s that on that

fill my inbox ❣️

[viviansternwood]

Can you do an update fanfic rec for Blarke?

Why yes I can. I’ve been reading a lot of Bellarke fics lately, so I’ve got plenty of recent faves.

[Following the same old scheme, where I link the fic, the author, and the author’s tumblr blog.]

1. bite your friend like chocolate by selflessbellamy aka @selflessbellamy

This one is relatively random for me because I very rarely read smut, but I absolutely loved the title and had to read it. This one is about Bellamy and Clarke’s romance in high school, their first time having sex together, then how their feelings develop too, etc. Their chemistry is portrayed and developed extremely well, and I just found it so interesting to read? Like I found that the author has one of those writing styles where you don’t notice you’re reading it because your eyes make their way down the page on their own? An absolutely wonderful piece of fanfiction, 100% recommend.

2. I Think I Love You (But What Do I Know?) by arysa13 aka @arysafics aaka @brienneknighted

I couldn’t not��recommend this fic because (a) Emily is one of my favourite Bellarke writers of all time, and (b) I actually sent the prompt for this fic to her, and she exceeded all my expectations! In this one, Bellamy and Clarke have a class together, and Clarke plots to make a move on him. It’s so sweet and awkward and wonderful and romantic in the best ways possible, and always incredibly funny because Emily’s writing is always hilarious. This is the kind of pure Bellarke fluff all of us need in our lives from time to time. Go read it right now, don’t know what you’re waiting for.

3. Smoke Break by arysa13

Another one of Emily’s fics that I re-read so often it’s embarrassing to admit it. It’s actually not a recent one, but I don’t think I’ve done a bellarke fic recs post since I’d read it. In this one, Clarke urgently needs to find a computer at the library to finish her essay, and she finds one that has a note on it, stating, “brb smoke break soz for hogging computer not soz”.Emily has this talent (besides her amazing writing of course) to take an absolutely normal everyday situation and either make it hilarious in a weird unexplainable way, or make it really embarrassing to the point where you want to flush your phone down the toilet just to avoid second-hand embarrassment. This one has both, and if that isn’t advertising this fic enough, then I don’t know what we’re doing here. *shrug emoji* Please read this, you will love it, I promise you.

4. Moderation by betts aka @bettsfic

If you don’t know betts as a bellarke writer, then where have you been lol. I don’t know how it’s possible to be so talented as she is, but she’s actually real and she writes Bellarke, and that’s all I can ask from my tumblr experience smh.This is another somewhat unusual read for me, because I almost never read angst (I’m a sensitive hoe who needs everyone to be happy and content, okay), but (a) this is betts we’re talking about, and (b) the summary sounded amazing. Here, Bellamy is a recovering alcoholic who reaches out for Clarke to make apologise for the things he’s done to her and to try and make amends. This is very heavy and if you have triggers, then read the warnings, but otherwise this is one of those fics that is actually educational in a way. It makes you ask yourself questions you’ve never even thought about before, and to see the point of view of someone you might have previous ignored.Just read it. That’s all I’m going to say. 

5. Alone Together by asroarke aka @asroarke

If you’ve seen any of my other fic recs posts, you probably know that I’m absolutely obsessed with soulmate AUs. There’s just something so romantic and wholesome about the universe telling you who you belong with. And Alex nails these every single time; I feel like she comes up with angles on soulmate AUs that you won’t see anywhere else. In this one, Clarke agrees to pretend to be Bellamy’s soulmate without him knowing that they actually are soulmates. It’s got mutual pining, some great angst, and wonderful Bellarke dynamic. Forever recommend this. 

6. If You Are Wrong (In All the Right Ways) by Chash aka @ponyregrets

Y’all know how much I love Chash, and who doesn’t, she’s amazing. So of course I’m recommending more of her stuff. The summary of this one sounded so random that I simply couldn’t not read it lol. Here Clarke is an incubus (a sex demon, I actually had to google these things), and Bellamy pretends that her powers don’t work on him so as not to make it awkward. The second chapter is Clarke’s POV of the same thing, and the whole fic is just so sweet and wholesome but also with this weird and interesting fantasy element, I loved it.Make sure to read this, you shall not regret.

And now to random fluffy fics I enjoyed lately:

You Didn’t Even Hesitate by Chash - this one’s a series

TGTBT by betts

Flying Home by betts

Help Me Out by arysa13

Remember to give these authors some love in the form of kudos/comments/bookmarks, and let me know if you have any more or any specific recs!

[crypticrose04]

Hi

Wits up

Ok soooo this is my first post not Gunna be that great soz in advance

WARNING:

THIS STORY INCLUDES SELF HARM , ABUSE AND MY TRANZ BOII ALSO WAR ⊙﹏⊙ KEEP IN MIND THIS IS ONLY A LITTLE BIT IF A FRACTION OF STORY SO YEA LEGO.

Billy was a young boy around 11 years old when the war began he was some of the last remaining species of humans we was short and skinny he had shaggy curly brown hair, dark eyes

,freckles across his face and multiple scars on his face two late ones one on his left eye the other on his right ear aswell as a few small ones on his body and neck billy did not grow up in a good time threats if war had always been a threat aswell as his abusive home life the only person he could count on was his sister Betty however she had died soon after the bombs fell from the radiation that now filled the atmosphere billy was an anxious boy all his life he had a hard time talking to people and that combined with the constant abuse made him extremely depressed he did things he wasent proud of to himself soon after the radiation was cleared he decided to run only bringing the clothes on his back and a couple dollars change he had stolen from his mother soon after running he had found a new place he could call home at last.

(I hope you like it so far don't worry I'm being vague on purpose so I don't give away to many details I'll be writing more soon bye ｡◕‿◕｡)

[kae-karo]

Hi I used to be into the phandom so much but fell out in like??? 2017??? Maybe??? Has anything big happened at all? Has anyone died/caught on fire ( ;) )??

oh dear god where do i begin??? well fortunately both our lads are still alive. let me just start with saying 2018 has been like. probably the best year for dnp to date? i’ll try to go in some kind of order here but bear with me i’ll touch on a bit of 2017 stuff and then go into 2018 for ya

so first of all i’m not sure when you left the phandom in 2017 but the lads moved out of their previous flat in april of last year (x) (april-ish it was def before they posted the vid)

also our dear lil dani snot on fire is no longer not on fire (x) so uhh is he on fire now ig? i mean yeah that’s arguably true

*insert phil’s badaladala sound bc on the scale of Significant Things i don’t think anything else massive happened*

day one of demon month, we got this amazing vid from phil wherein viewers (aka dan) picked his outfits n he looked like a snacc and a half (would’ve been 2 snaccs if he’d embraced the quiff sooner but that’s getting ahead of things) (x)

!!!! then a week or so later dan posted his vid ‘daniel and depression’ where he opened up abt his struggle with depression (x) which was imo the start of him just being more open about himself in general. he also started working with young minds (a mental health org for young people in the uk) and shortly thereafter with prince william’s program to help prevent cyberbullying

then! on the day love was invented! dnp released their board game, truth bombs (x - yeah i linked the second vid and not the first, and wot) which u can buy if you’d like but it’s a lot of fun (x)

then these idiots did a conjoined jumper baking challenge and didn’t fucking wear shirts under the jumper like what dumb gays idk (x) but it was real funny and Good Content

then early nov dnp announced the interactive introverts tour (x) and then uhhh it happened (like 80+ shows??? in a ton of countries???) (x) and they’re releasing the filming of it along with some bonus content like a director’s commentary and u can preorder it (x)

also pinof 9 happened which as a legacy phan u know is always a Thing but this year it was especially a Thing so i recommend catching up (x, and the bloops - x)

and phew okay that’s the majority of 2017 Important Events but before i go on to 2018 i’ll just recap a few important events from dapg (basically just some gamingmas stuff):

wherein dan smacked phil in the face

and phil crushed the presents but dan helped him up

where phil pretended not to remember gamingmas was happening, leading to the most iconic simultaneous heart eyes howell/love eyes lester to date

dnp singing baby it’s cold outside together whilst playing yasuhati

iconic pinof 9 moment

dnp play charades but it’s phil’s turn, and he’s touchy

the not my arms challenge!!! playing mario kart

okay! and before anyone starts yelling i know there’s more but god if i put every iconic thing in this post would break there’s Too Much so let’s hop into 2018 bc it’s gonna be a long one

first i cannot believe dan fucking gave phil a philussy cake and phil’s parents asked phil what it meant jfc dan (x)

THE EARRING!!! dan’s first selfie with the lil hoop and it never leaves and we love it (x)

phil is just trying to take a selfie and dan ruins it (x) spoiler alert: phil gets him back in colorado (x)

okay big sigh two large events happen in march: the first, dan’s ‘trying to live my truth’ vid (x) it basically dan saying ‘i’m still figuring things out but i want to be more authentic and true to myself, and also authenticity is important for some people to feel happy in life’ vid that a lot of people hyperfixated on the end line of, where he said he would go ‘laugh at a joke with a chocolate bar and...something else in my mouth’ which people assumed meant a dick and therefore it was a subtle coming out vid, dan did a liveshow afterward (x) wherein he said that wasn’t the point of the vid and people got mad at him for ‘backtracking’ (if u want more of my Opinions on this feel free to check em out - x)

the second v v big event happened at the end of march when phil posted this iconic selfie that would be the downfall of the fringe (x) this has been titled the quiffening by some

shortly after that he began styling his hair in a quiff permanently which was probably the best decision he’s made since responding to one of his obsessed fans back in 2009

quick detour dan’s proud of his hubby (x) for winning fortnite and ‘fuxkung’ is now what ‘fucking’ autocorrects to in my phone

we also had dan releasing his merch (x) which is basically all black and themed around the eclipse logo and ‘don’t talk to me’, though he just released the exist line for world mental health day which has his quote ‘have the courage to exist’. he’s also mentioned possibly wanting to do more creative things like wide-necked or asymmetrical shirts dan just do a fashion line pls oh and he mentioned in a recent ls he might do an internet support group mug sometime soon

and then,,,,,pigeonfest. we watched. five hours. of phil livestreaming their patio. and literally nothing happened bc someone was like down on the street feeding pigeons so there weren’t even any pigeons for like 90% of the liveshow. but he literally didn’t talk it was just five hours of their patio and we all watched it. we all just watched it like the whipped phannies we are (x)

and then we got a brief but overwhelming dose of,,,,,,something from the easter baking vid (x) phil was hopped up on sugar and also confidence from his quiff and probably smth else as well

everything just blows up from there we have giving the people what they want (x) where, in preparation for ii (for which the underlying theme was ‘giving people what they want’), dnp reacted to pinof 1, swapped clothes, did the ‘yoga challenge’, recreated ditl manchester, ‘got a dog’, and made phil say fuck. honestly it shook the entire phandom to its core at the time but like. i’m less shooketh now? it’s sort of just fallen by the wayside in terms of how unpredictable dnp have been this year

then phil drops week in the life of dnp shortly thereafter which is just very very domestic even for them and their ditl style vids??? (x) phil filming dan in bed being one of the big demon highlights at the time

it’s right around this time too that insta stories start and my god it just goes jfc like i don’t even have the mental capacity to recall all the Iconic ones but i recommend checking out this playlist (x) which has all the ii tour stories goddamn there were a lot though they really put out that content didn’t they

in early may we get phil talking about why he changed his emo hair (x) and arguably the first official vid of the casual rebrand - phil’s more open and genuinely vulnerable about his fears about making a change to his hair, and i don’t think we’ve ever seen him that open before. the vids don’t stop being open though, with what dnp text each other (x) giving us coop and doop along with other iconic stories, dnp basically sitting on top of each other in that and other gaming vids on the tour bus, phil being very open abt his attraction to men (x) and the iconic final google feud vid with way too much of a specific kind of Energy (x) (ofc again there are More Vids but i don’t have the time/mental capacity to recap them all so i’m pickin the Big Ones)

monochrome mates (x)

phew okay so the tour in general as well - like if u don’t mind spoilers, i did a big ol analysis of what that was all about (x) but one of many many highlights is dan calling he and phil “best friends and soulmates” 

finally finally finally after months of waiting we also get some phil merch! (x) plant and animal themed, and he even released a lion plushie which sold out like instantly and he claimed he’d do more of but we have yet to see that. he says he’s got more ideas for other merch as well

now okay fast forward to october after the tour’s over bc i think the insta stories and the analysis cover it but then. then. then we get the pizza mukbang (x) thirty three minutes of dnp being more open and honest and casual than literally they’ve ever been on camera maybe ever, and i’m including liveshows in this statement. no holds barred, authentic vulnerable dnp. a religious experience

end of october spooky week hits us and i think the key vid to call out here is the creepy mind of phil lester bc i think it was another open honest authentic vid (x) where they talked a lot, casual domestic w.e got some insight into phil’s mind it was v good

and then they carve pumpkins jfc which was an experience (x) there were a lot of innuendos but also one of the first years they didn’t do a halloween baking in a while (though they have hinted at possibly doing christmas baking) idk i’m fully overwhelmed at this point lmao like a Lot happened this year

phew okay and Then just yesterday philly dropped his vid on why he went to (the) hospital (x) idk soz that’s a british thing i think like we say ‘the’ anyway. which i’ve been talking abt quite a lot lately but it was another very open and honest vid in which he expressed a lot of vulnerability and fear and perceived flaws and it was just a quality like. open vid.

jfc okay hope that helps obviously there’s a lot i didn’t mention, but this should at least get you caught up on some of the big stuff!! and while i’m at it have a few more Important Gifs from this year

a very important moment of communication whilst on tour, deciding whether or not they’re okay with doing a ‘third wheel’ pose

dan flinging himself off the chair in anger whilst playing getting over it

nose boop from phil’s instagram explore pages vid

subsequent nose boop from the extreme tetris vid

and a cheek boop from the overcooked 2 vid

dan pulling phil’s hand off the mouse in fear during spooky week, swamp simulator (shrek slender)

touchy!dan during pizza mukbang

oh god. okay. again, this is not everything, just a big list of some big events over the past year-ish. i’m sure i’ve missed some important stuff but i think i covered most of it! hope this helps ya get caught up dear!

[honeybee-babe]

cw for ed-ish stuff so feel free to skip if you aren't in the right place of mind to deal with that: I've been really strugling with binging urges lately and I was wondering if you could share some Luther hcs or other thoughts you've had about him and food stuff? How do you think it would go if one of the others walked in on him binging (someone who's sympathic about it)?

TW: Eating disorders and body dysmorphia, mentions of sexual assault

oof i’ve let this sit here for far too long. soz! been busy af. :( 

First off, I hope things have gotten better for yoU!! I have been in a similar boat lately literally binging and restricting for weeks on end. It’s getting better but it really is hard to break these cycles, it requires a lot of strength. But you are strong enough and i know you can get through it

ANYWAY:

HCs and Thoughts on Luther’s ED (this got very wordy/rambly):

tbh i see luther as a comfort eater, esp. bc he ate those 10 hot dogs when he was sad and feeling sorry for himself. yes finding out that reginald was lying to him was awful and truly traumatic but people without already disordered eating don’t just up and eat 10 hotdogs when they’re sad. that is an extreme binge for someone at any size, plus he seemed ashamed of it when allison brought it up: AND not to mention the only other thing we ever see him eat post-change is a weird nutritional pouch and eventually alcohol.

on the moon, Luther must have eaten in rations and definitely would have been counting calories. Plus with the nutritional pouch thing we can assume he is restricting when back on earth and the hotdogs were a binge, therefore Luther is a binge/restricter.

EVEN in the flashback to before the serum we see him eating way too little for his size (way too little for his size before the change, mind you). He eats a single bowl of cereal without any juice or anything to wash it down, which is just not an adequate breakfast for Tom Hopper’s Actual Body(TM), especially if he was going to train later that day. And then after this sad breakfast he drinks a ton of milk. IDK if this is a stretch but that in itself is kind of disordered; the milk was definitely a comfort food for him which indicates that he is an emotional eater (IE extra calories because he feels lonely), a predisposition to disordered eating before the serum. He clearly prefers to get most of his calories from liquids, which continues and gets worse after the change.

I imagine Reginald was particularly strict with him about food. Since his power was physical strength, Reginald probably gave him a strict diet and exercise routine. Counting macros and calories, etc. Going under or over his limit was probably a huge, HUGE fucking deal. And maintaining perfect body image as the big, strong #1 was definitely a giant deal to Reginald bc Luther had to look intimidating. That, along with the pressure to be perfect, is a recipe for anorexia or bulimia. Luther definitely is the type to take corrective measures: binging and then following it with purging or restricting, or intense exercise.

Additionally, with the smiley-faced foods, I imagine the kids were taught to see Grace’s food as comfort. I see Grace giving them treats to make them feel better when Reginald was a dick. These good intentions definitely could have convinced Luther that food was comfort and nurturing but something Reginald wouldn’t allow him to have. So the overwhelming urge to eat and eat and eat (BINGE) when he is very upset, followed by an urge to restrict.

And definitely a deep, deep shame about all of this. If anyone found out, Luther would be crushed.

Literally the stereotype for someone with an eating disorder is someone who feels they lack control over their life trying to overcompensate by controlling their food intake. And someone who is striving to be perfect either because someone has told them they have to be (*COUGH*Reginald) or convinced them that they will never be good enough unless they are (*COUGH*Also Reginald). Luther embodies this mentality; he wants to be perfect for Reginald, but Reginald has set Luther up to hate himself because he can never be perfect (perfection is a myth), and also Luther has literally no control over his life because Reginald controls everything. It is thought that many young teenagers develop eating disorders because they are afraid of the changes their bodies experience during puberty, the underlying problem being that they are afraid of growing up; Luther literally still lives at home and is absolutely afraid of growing up.

Ape body obviously makes things 100000x worse. And we see in the show that his poor eating habits (small bowl of cereal and relying on milk for liquid calories/comfort food) have gotten even worse (liquid calories in packages clearly restricted until a MASSIVE binge on hotdogs)

MIGHT I ADD: Sexual assault survivors are much more likely to experience disordered eating because the lack of control over what happened to them and the hatred of the body that has been “tainted” or reminds them of being assaulted..... Luther’s consent over his body was clearly taken away during the ape-body operation.

Thoughts on Someone Walking in on him Binging:

This is real tough. I feel like Allison isn’t really aware of it due to her reaction to him eating 10 hotdogs and not saying anything about it. IDC if he is big, 10 hotdogs is abnormal especially given how little he used to eat, and the fact that he currently only eats those weird fucking packages. I feel like, loving as she is, she wouldn’t really understand it. I feel like Allison has a really healthy relationship with food, probably the healthiest out of all of them. She is the most well-balanced sibling I think. But once she realized it was a problem she would do a ton of research into BED/Bulimia/EDNOS or whatever Luther has and become an expert and advocate, as well as helping him in recovery.

Same with Diego but I feel like he would probably joke about it and then after Luther either told him to fuck off or hide the evidnece, he would realize it was a serious problem but not want to apologize or know what to do. I feel like he’d be concerned but not want to express it, so he’d tell Klaus about it and make him bring it up. After Luther entered into recovery Diego would keep updated through Klaus but not express concern to Luther himself. 

Five... oof I feel like Five would just be like “yup thats how i ate during the apocalypse” and not really understand? Like i don’t think he’s evil but he would probably not find it very serious. Once he found out (if he ever did) that it was serious, I feel like he’d be accomodating (checking in if Luther ate his dinner, if he snuck food out of the pantry etc.) but not particularly warm or comforting.

TBH I see Klaus and Vanya being the most understanding Vanya would definitely understand the urge to make yourself seem as small/insignificant as possible, and Klaus obviously understands mental health issues and addiction (ED is an addiction!) 

Klaus might not realize what was going on at first and make a joke, but i think he’d realize real soon bc he understands unhealthy coping. he would probably joke around with him still in the same way that he jokes about his own addictions, but i feel like he would be very comforting, like solidarity yknow? Maybe he would make a pact with him that they would recover from their addictions together.

I feel like Vanya would just be super supportive and quietly soothing. Like if Luther got uncomfortable she would use a rlly soft caring voice. this is sappy but i feel like if Luther was ever to talk openly to a sibling or cry in front of one of them about his body issues, it would be Vanya.

OKAY THAT WAS WAY TOO LONG OF A RESPONSE AND I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.

NIGHT NIGHT!!