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anakinfruit · 3 years

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thanks for the tag @emilykenobi !! 💗💗

1. Why did you choose your url?

ok there’s actually a long running inside joke about it but basically it comes down to I was assigned Anakin Fruit by a uquiz and then shenanigans occurred and i changed all my discord names to Anakin/Vader fruit and then ti continue one the trend i changed my tumblr url to match

2. Any side blogs?

yea i don’t use any of them anymore though so I’m not going to plug them. but i do have a separate art account @nooodledoodles if you’d like to follow that :D

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

too long. idk since i was 13 or 14 and im 21 now, so do the math? what is that like 7-8 years

4. Do you have a queue tag?

nope, i can’t be bothered to queue anything thats just extra steps, we reblog in spurts like men here

5. Why did you start your blog?

i wanted to look at homestuck fan art

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because @dilfdarthvader originally had a bi leia one and i wanted a bi anakin one so she made one and it’s beautiful

7. Why did you choose your header?

I wanted to convert my blog fully into star wars and I needed a header to match the theme so chose this one if anakin and ahsoka because i love them. I don’t remember who made it off the top of my head but i reblogged the post i got it from so it can be searched up

8. What post of yours has the most notes?

i believe its a photoset of how attractive the Carolina hurricanes roster was a couple of years ago?? or a Carter Hart gif from world juniors im not quite sure. I know something broke a thousand notes though

9. How many mutuals do you have?

bruh i dont even know who follows me and who i also follow but i know i can say for certain i have at least 50, it’s definitely more but theres probably only about 50 id recognize right away? maybe? i dont knowww i only talk to a select few and the m.a.d. server

10. How many followers do you have?

1,135, don’t ask my why or how, theyre just there i dont even know how many are active

11. How many blogs do you follow?

1798, i’m just follow happy

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

oooh yea, i dont think theyve ever gotten any traction tho

13. How often do use Tumblr a day?

*nervous chuckling* i’m like chronically online, according to my screen time its around 2-2.5 hrs per day, which honestly i was expecting higher

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

i don’t think so, not that i can recall

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog’ posts?

fuck em, i see em and aggressively scroll past i don’t need to be guilt tripped when im trying to zone out from the world thank you very much

16. Do you like tag games?

yeeee please tag me in things 🥺

17. Do you like ask games?

also ye, send me things!!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

oh a good deal of my star wars mutuals i think, maybe? i’m really not good at judging popularity

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

nah, they’re just my pocket phone friends

i tag: @dilfdarthvader @moodysgirlsblog @cloudsofheaven @itsjml @aghsoka @shipaycon @quirkofthewild

#tag game #max says things

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cancerbiophd · 4 years

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Hey! I’m sure this is a question you get asked a lot but how did you decide that a PhD was for you? I’m about to enter the last year of my undergrad and have really enjoyed the lab work I’ve done previously but it feels like a rather large commitment when I’m not 100% sure I’m going to end up in research at the end of it. I was just wondering how you knew it was what you wanted to do!

Hello!

I actually have never been asked that question before, which was surprising for me too. I get a lot of “how did you know lab research was right for you”, but never specifically about how I knew a PhD was right for me (or maybe I did and I just didn’t answer it well), so I’m really glad you asked!

As you said, it really does come down to answering yes to both these statements:

The career path I want is best accomplished with a PhD

I am willing to commit to the challenging journey of 5-6 years of grad school (+1-3 years of being a post-doc, if applicable to your field)

So here are the reasons how I knew getting a PhD was the best past for me:

I loved research. And I loved research beyond just doing benchwork--I loved the brainstorming, the experimental design, the analyzing of results, the troubleshooting of the unexpected, the dissecting of both broad and fine details as you solve a puzzle, the moment when you realize you just discovered something no one else has ever seen before, and communicating those exciting results. I was infatuated. When I was working as a lab tech in a cancer research lab after undergrad there were nights where I couldn’t sleep because my brain just would not stop brainstorming new ideas and questions about my research. I told that to a current grad student in the lab at the time and he was like “You know what that means? You have the mind of a grad student.”

And I wanted to broaden my skillsets. I could do a few techniques really well, but I really wanted to learn more, and I also wanted to learn more about those techniques--why do this, and not an alternative? What would happen if we tried this? I wanted to explore more.

Going off of that, I wanted to keep learning. And not just looking up wikipedia articles by myself; I wanted formal training (because I had no idea what I needed to learn). And I’ve always been good at learning in a classroom setting so I knew I would excel at that part in grad school.

It would lead me to the career path I wanted, which was to work at a biotech company as a leader of a research team and then become a consultant. True, a PhD is not required for that in many cases, but a PhD would better prepare me for those roles

I enjoyed writing and orally communicating about my research. PhD’s do metric ton of writing (grants, papers, reports, etc) and oral presentations (conferences, meetings, collaborations, etc). And I really enjoyed (and was good at) all that.

I wanted to be in a position where I could lead and mentor. As someone with the highest degree in the room, institutions look to the PhDs for direction. So PhDs will become leaders--whether it’s a lab of their own in academia, or a team in an industry setting, etc. Even grad students have undergrads, or have to TA. And I was ready for, and wanted, all that.

I was good at wearing a lot of hats. PhDs don’t just do a singular task; during grad school we learn to be versatile (you have to be in an academic lab setting), and that versatility carries through later as we become excellent multitaskers and are good at adapting to new challenges. And as someone who has always successfully juggled school and work and multiple extracurriculars, and had experience being a rockin lab manager (in the lab I worked in after undergrad), I knew I was up to it.

I loved working by myself but I also loved working as a team--and that’s a necessity for research in general, even for non-PhDs, but PhDs are more likely to have to excel at both.

I was mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially ready for the challenges and commitment of 5-6 years of grad school (plus 1-3 years of being a post-doctoral fellow, if applicable). Grad school is tough as balls, and you have to be just as tough, or at least have the resources to help you. I took a gap year of 2.5 years after undergrad to a) figure out what the heck I wanted to do/get research experience and b) mature to the point where I could be ready for something like grad school. I feel that working as a full-time lab tech really allowed me to immerse myself into the closest setting of a grad student in my field as possible. Being there 40 hrs/week really is different than when you’re an undergrad researcher popping in for 2 hours/day. I also took a grad-level class to see if I could mentally balance class and research. I know that’s obviously not an option available to everyone (nor is it necessary), but that’s just how I knew that every part of me could handle the rigors of grad school.

Going off of that, I had a lot of grit and discipline. Sometimes that’s all you have left to get you through the day in grad school when everything else feels depleted. Grad students do a lot of things they’re not motivated to do, but we gotta get it done anyway, and sometimes grit is all we have to make our limbs move.

PhD holders and PhD students at the time were telling me I’d be great at pursuing one. They know better than anyone what it takes, and they knew I was ready.

Also dang, I’d be lying if I said money didn’t play a role in it. I graduated college in 2011 during the grand ol recession, and the job market stunk. I saw that options for biology majors were slim to none (I was extremely lucky to have found my lab tech job), so I knew I had to either wait it out until the job market bounced back, or make myself a more attractive candidate for the workforce, or both! (Let’s not talk about the economy during Covid lol). Also, the thought of making over 100k with a PhD was attractive. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, but money does buy happiness, because money buys food and a roof over your head and warm clothes and healthcare and hobbies so uh, yeah, I did get the highest degree possible partially for the money.

So why not a Masters? That’s a good question!! And the truth is: I didn’t know I could accomplish most of what I wanted with a Masters. And that was my fault for not doing my own research, but I think I was just.. surrounded by PhDs (both in my academic lab setting and in my family) and the thought of doing a Masters never really occurred to me. Also, idk, I knew in my heart and in my bones I wanted a PhD, so I’m not sure if I would be happy with a Masters.

Lastly, because this list is personal to me, getting a PhD would get me off my mom’s shit-list and end her endless emotional abuse towards me being worthless, etc. Long story, but yeah, it did factor into it as kind of a bonus point.

So thar’s my spiel.

One last thing I want to add: though continuing research is the most common career path for PhD holders, it’s not the only one. Here’s what else is available for PhDs (from the book Career Opportunities in Biotechnology and Drug Development by Toby Freedman)

If the image is hard to see, there are 4-ish main branches, and then some sub-branches (and even more specialized sub-branches that aren’t labeled):

R&D: Discovery research, preclinical research, bio/pharmaceutical product development, project management, clinical development, regularly affairs, medical affairs

Services: Recruiting, law, venture capital & banking, management consulting

Operations: Bio IT, quality, operations

Commercial Operations: Business development, corporate communications, product support, sales, marketing

And that’s just in the industry sector--academia, government, and non-academia/non-govt research institutions are also obviously available as career choices, though those would focus more on R&D (and also teaching).

You obviously don’t need to know the specifics of your career path before committing to grad school, but I think you should have a general idea that what you want to do would best be accomplished with a PhD.

If you’re still on the fence, I would advise:

Talking to more grad students or degree holders--both PhD and Masters (our Gradblr Discord is great for that!)--to paint a bigger picture.

Informational interviews are also great, especially if you’re interested in learning more about those career paths above.

You can also explore the field a bit more in-person by starting off with a Masters (less time commitment than a PhD, though more expensive), or an entry-level research job like I did.

Best of luck!

#genestudies #grad advice #job advice

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cottagecore-peach · 4 years

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heyyyy !!! i hope ur doing v v well !!!!! so. this might sound a lil random but i've seen u posting abt it sometimes and i've been wondering whether i should buy stardew valley ?? i don't know if u urself play it or if u just reblogged some posts abt it so feel free to ignore this ask !! but yeah !! it looks super cute but i don't rlly know if it has lots of stuff n content to play thru or if it maybe gets boring rlly quickly ?? n i don't rlly know much abt the plot either to be honest but it's just looks so sweet !! plus if i were to buy it i would have to do it on my computer bc i do not have any kind of consoles so i don't know of it's like,, the type of game for computers i guess ?? aaaa i don't actually know much abt videogames in general i must sound so silly,,,, welp ! anyways. love ur account + i hope ur doing very well !! sending love !!

-- yoga anon 💌❣️ (yes i am going to sign all my anons now bc i took that 'i feel like we're pals' little comment v seriously bc u are v sweet & i just !! feel like we're pals as well. plus it feels like signing a letter !! even though yoga is like. not my defining trait at all i haven't done it in so much time hhjdjdkajsj ne ways i'm rambling now !! bye !! lots of love !!)

omg omg you have no idea how happy this made me!! hello my friend!! thank u for opening this can of worms and allowing me to rant about my current hyperfixation 💕💕💕

first of all: i would 100% recommend stardew valley! it’s only like $16 CAD or something so it’s not a huge loss if you end up disliking it. but my friend taught me her criteria for what she thinks makes a game worth the money, and it’s this: can you see yourself playing the game for at least 1 hr/dollar spent on it? if yes, buy the game!! my ex bought me the game 2.5 years ago (while we were together obvs, bless her) so technically i spent $0 on it, but given that i’m nearing 400 hrs played on steam, i think it would be well worth it even if i had spent the $16!

onto the actual game!!! if you don’t play a lot of video games, i think this would actually be a very good game for you!! looking at guides for how to maximize profit can get really overwhelming, but it’s really easy to just vibe and get immersed in the cottagecore/farmcore energy. the game actually does have a lot of depth to it, most of which is revealed as you progress through the long term, story-driven goals, but you literally never have to finish them if you don’t want to!! there are plenty of different things to do, and you can focus on anything you like!

you might choose to focus on farming (which i would say can be split into two subcategories: plant or animal farming, though you can always work with a balance of both), or you could work on reaching the bottom of the old mines in town and collect lots of rare gems and artifacts to donate to the museum, or you can spend your days fishing to bring in the money, or you can go for my personal favourite: befriend/romance all the townsfolk!! talk to them every day and give them gifts they’ll love (that’s basically the only thing i use the guides for lmao). there are 10 possible characters to romance and you can still befriend everyone else in town! some characters have amazing backstories that they reveal to you as you become better friends with them, and there’s honestly tons of tea to be spilled in this tiny community!!

if you have any more questions or want anything explained more clearly pls pls let me know, i obviously have tons to say!!

ps: it’s also been a hot minute since i did yoga, don’t worry about it, friend 🥰

#peaches answers #yoga anon #pals #this is so long i'm sorry #stardew valley #also: i love how i refer to the same person as 'my friend' and 'my ex' in basically the same sentence fhdsjghjk #hehe

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expshared · 4 years

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this season was kind of whack, but at least we had Eizouken

Heya Camp is just kind of a lazy reminder that Yuru Camp exists, and will continue to exist in the future. You remember these characters?? OK good, just making sure. That said, did I immediately feel the tension release in my entire body when I heard the OST? Duh. Did I sing “it’s coffee time” to the ending not knowing these were the incorrect lyrics? The entire time.

I don’t know what to do with Isekai Quartet because like, objectively, I should hate it. I do not enjoy like 2.5 of the shows involved, and the addition of Shield Hero was not a welcome one. Turns out it doesn’t matter anyway because it was just Isekai Quartet and also Naofumi is Sometimes Scowling in the Background and that’s about as much of him as I want to see anyway. And yet? I do enjoy this Disney Channel Original Crossover. There’s something inherently fun about watching these characters from disparate shows interact with each other, and no matter what the original stakes were in their respective series, they’re all just doing homework and getting part time jobs and that shit’s funny when a big skeleton man is doing it.

After its first episode, Asteroid in Love was kind of a slog. This is your typical seasonal CGDGT show, and apart from that, I really can’t think of anything to say about it. I didn’t learn anything about the Extremely Niche Topic these girls are doing, and it wasn’t even that gay. Disappointing.

I was really looking forward to Toilet Bound Hanako-kun because I am a big fan of the source material, but I was pretty let down by this adaptation. It seems that they prioritized the art style and the color scheme above everything else, but that essentially just meant the entire project ended up being colored manga panels. I wanted to see them move around! There was not a single moment of animation that justified it being an anime. You might as well have been watching a PowerPoint. I can’t think of anything nice to say. Let’s move on.

Bofuri is my power fantasy. I want to play a video game so cluelessly I break it into tiny pieces and bumble into being the most powerful player in the world’s nicest MMORPG. Maple turns powercreep into powersprint. What Bofuri lacks in character development or plot, it makes up for in outrageous Maple feats. She holds the entire world in the palm of her hand and she doesn’t even know it. She named her OP pet turtle Syrup and then turned into an alien abomination unknown to the world and went on a killing rampage. This anime was Maple Crossing Online. Love you, Maple. Wreck shit, Maple.

If My Favorite Idol Got Into Budokan, I Would Die walks a thin line and what separates it from being a slobbering idol otaku engine preaching how Cool it is to Be an Otaku and an Idol Show Watamote is the fact that Eripiyo is a girl. That’s it. If you took her and replaced her with your average Joe Schmoe-san, this show would be insufferably creepy. Every time I was waiting for it to topple over, Jenga-like, it managed to right itself and straddle the tightrope. It’s not a particularly subtle piece of media, nor does it do what I was hoping it would do and engage in any sort of conversation about the obsessive nature of idol otakudom, but you know what it does a good job of doing? Portraying being an idol as a job. Just some adults putting on underground shows and selling the same CD of like two songs over and over again. I was also hoping it would address what happened to Eripiyo, maybe talk about why at the beginning she’s dressed like an office worker and apparently gives that all up to follow this kinda-shitty idol group, why this fanatic escapism is preferable, or even maybe address how gay it is? Not in the cards, though. Honestly Budokan was, despite itself, pretty enjoyable? There are some great background lesbians. Also can we talk about how consistently good the production values were on this show? Why did this have such great dance sequences? Why did this look better than Love “Has More Money Than God” Live? Actually no I take everything back this show was kind of just Idol Otaku Watamote

Hey, let’s talk about the other idol show airing this season: the completely unhinged 22/7. This show is Whack. This show operates on an entire different plane of reality. I know nothing about the actual band, so I came into this blind and oh my god. Hey guys, the plot of 22/7 is that a Wall tells some girls to form an idol unit. A sentient Wall whose orders absolutely must be followed. Why? Dunno! What happens if you don’t follow its orders? Never elaborated on. (Actually, is this a reference to Pink Floyd? I have no fucking clue.) In any case these eight girls, summoned by a letter from the Wall, are all invited to become an idol group, and then they’re magically an idol group. It’s unclear how they become successful, how they book gigs, who’s keeping the lights on at the agency, how they’re getting paid, who HR is, how their gorilla man agent found this Wall and determined that all its directives Must Be Followed, but shit, man. What follows in 22/7 is a one-member-per-episode serial that quite frankly stumbles far more often than it succeeds. One girl’s grandma died and that’s why she came to Japan. One girl had a traumatizing experience where she got lost in the woods for a week and it broke her family apart and now things just suck forever. These things are equal. One poor girl’s entire episode was about how she didn’t want to put on a bathing suit for a photo shoot and how uncomfortable she felt about it, but in the end she was made to apologize for dragging her feet for so long and takes her photo for a pin up. Yuck. Gross. Bad. The only valid girl is Jun, end of discussion. None of this even holds a candle to the finale-- wherein the girls are directed by the Wall to disband, and, defying an order for the first time, the girls return to their agency and throw shit at the Wall until it breaks down. It’s revealed that the Wall isn’t supernatural-- behind it are tv monitors, photos of the girls as children, records of their activities. A person or people are behind this. Why??? Are they being groomed?? Is the Wall a metaphor for the Industry? I’m so concerned. The girls aren’t, though, because after a little side eyeing, they ascend a staircase and wow! A Stage! Our fans are all here for our reunion tour! And then they’re fine and I guess their idol group is back together or something? Did I mention the stage where they perform? It’s at a zoo. I can’t tell if this is the most scathing condemnation of idol culture I’ve ever watched or just completely oblivious. The characters don’t engage in any sort of thought about what they’re being put through, but they are performing their final song, the lyrics of which are about how life is just too hard to keep on living, at a zoo and I don’t think you can have that sort of thing happen unless you’re trying to make a point. Right??? RIGHT?!? Dance and sing, monkeys.

Smile Down the Runway was another show completely divorced from reality. So you got your main character, Chiyuki, whose thing is that she’s Too Short to Be a Model at her father’s very prestigious modeling agency. Which, like, is valid! Let’s see some variation in the modeling industry. Let’s shake it up. Let’s lead the charge for alternative models with bodies outside of the very narrow requirements of the fashion industry. What’s that, Chiyuki? You have no interest in that? You want to be a Hypermodel? I don’t know what that shit is, I think you made it up. Our other protagonist is Ikuto, the destitute, put upon, bobcut boy with a dying mother and 3 younger siblings who is trying to pursue his dream of becoming a fashion designer. Are you beginning to sense the problem here? There is a fundamental imbalance in the presentation of these characters’ goals and situations. Also? Emotions are at an eleven, always. Characters are always acting as if they’ve just seen someone get murdered in front of their eyes even when it’s like. There’s a messed up seam. They are constantly being mortified, crushed, and having their dreams ripped away. One time, two different assholes offered Ikuto magical mom-fixing blood money when he was struggling to come up with funds to pay off his medical debt at the cost of giving up his spot in the fashion show. Wildin’

Haikyuu didn’t exactly come in like a lion, but I’m sure it’ll be more organic upon rewatching. We were laying the groundwork for much of this season so I’m expecting it to payoff later, but the beginning definitely lagged. Every time Haikyuu hints at a women’s volleyball tournament, I want a volleyball anime with girls. Man, those ten minutes we got with Kiyoko? Those were great.

I don’t have too much to say about Somali and Forest Spirit. Abe’s “Make Children” agenda feels at least a little more like a narrative choice in this anime, and I enjoyed Somali and the Golem’s relationship and their travels were in equal turns harrowing and heartwarming. And I did tear up at the end so you got me there, anime.

In/Spectre has some balls being an anime. It’s existed as a light novel and a manga and those are both superior mediums for it because let’s put all our cards on the table here-- In/Spectre is a show about talking. Five whole entire episodes take place in a car. The finale is winning an argument in an anonymous 4chan chatroom. That said, I have such a fondness for In/Spectre. I think Kotoko rocks. I think a show willing to do nothing but talk at you for two hours is badass. Sitting through this anime is like watching a podcast. I think the show engages in some great dialogue about human nature and how we prefer stories that are theatrical, narratively-driven, and have a logical cause-and-effect, instead of the truth, which is more often than not grim, and disappointing, and illogical. I like that Kotoko’s only function, in-story and out of it, is to bullshit so hard she invents alternate realities. Anyway In/Spectre is good.

There’s no praise I can lavish on Eizouken that hasn’t already been said. It’s powerful, it’s strange, it’s energetic, and it’s packaged with such love. It’s repurposed the CGDCT template into something deeply affecting. It’s an anime for people who love animation. I hope everyone watches Eizouken.

#animoose and mango #chitchat paddywhack #long post /

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seongjinnie · 5 years

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DAY6 ‘Gravity’ in Singapore

Hello everybody! I know it’s been a long time since I posted anything here but!! I went for DAY6′s Gravity concert in Singapore!!!!!!!! I’m still quite shaken that I experienced it (finally!) and though it has been a few hours since its end, I’m still quite hyped about it! So this post is just me venting it out to my heart’s content! Continue reading this long post if you want to read about my fanaccount/opinion on the whole experience! But in summary, this post is all about “I am so proud of DAY6!!”

OK so long story short, I had mixed opinions about going for the concert cause it’s expensive for an average student like me but my friends wanted to go!!! So in the end I kinda succumbed to the peer pressure (LOL) and bought the ticket! It felt surreal even then but I was still kinda uncertain whether I would truly enjoy the concert. I hadn’t been following them closely, so I felt like I don’t deserve to go for it.

Anyway, fast forward, I had a stressful week, that DAY6′s concert became something I looked forward to. When the day came, I was still in disbelief that I am going to a DAY6 concert! And it’s my very first concert in the years that I have been living. And I’m gonna see DAY6 perform LIVE. Damn, it sounded like a dream, but it came true yet it still feels like a dream!

When I reached the concert venue, it was kind of a culture shock to me. I knew of fan supports, fan goods and the like. I knew they exist since I see them on the internet, but experiencing it first-hand was really different. It was actually overwhelming for me? That fans actually do this for free? I was trying so hard to comprehend this! Y’all are so precious and kind to be doing these for other fans! Y’all are the MVPs!!! There was a girl that gave out photocards at the escalator and I got a Sungjin photocard! Mr_HuntK, thank you so much for it!! Honestly, I was kinda embarrassed and flustered that these fans are so expressive in their love for DAY6 while I’m the kind to hide it away. I don’t buy their official merchandise or I don’t show off that I like them or whatever, so I felt inferior to these fans! It was kinda like a blow to my self-esteem, in a sense? That I’m not a good fan? That I’m not a proud DAY6 fan????

But!!! My heart was swelling with pride the moment I saw the boys onstage and playing their music!!! The boys were so great I just!!!! I felt like a proud mom???? I’m not the best fan, that’s for sure, but I still watched them grow as a band. I haven’t been closely following them, but I do listen to their new releases and from time to time, I do check for updates. But still, I have been with them since their debut, ever since my friend introduced me to them. And to see them where they are now... I was so proud of them throughout the concert! I was smiling, watching them with fond eyes and with so much pride!!! The boys were killin’ it, man!!!! They’ve gone so far!!! They’ve grown so much! Throughout the whole concert, my mind kept saying, “These kids are truly talented musicians!” Their solos were so great! Dowoon had a drumstick flying off halfway, but it’s okay! He was still cool and he played so well, I am just so proud of him!!! I truly like Sungjin’s solo the most (maybe because he’s my bias LOL). But I was really in awe when they had their solos. I just kept having thoughts like “Damn, these kids can really play so well! They’re so good at it! I’m so proud!”

I didn’t check the previous setlists at all, because I wanted myself to enjoy the flow. And I kept getting surprised by the songs they performed! Especially the mash-ups. I was in awe that the different songs actually sound so good together! And it just got me thinking again that DAY6 is really a talented band. Also, I was pleasantly surprised that they performed songs that I truly like. But then again, when has DAY6 ever had a bad song, right?

Dowoon, Sungjin and Wonpil tried their best to speak English and they were all so adorable! Whenever they tried, I couldn’t help but smile so wide. And I forgot about how awkward Dowoon is but he’s so adorable I cannot help but smile fondly! Sungjin’s English has improved a lot that I was really surprised! These boys are just so hardworking, I’m just so proud of them beyond words.

Sungjin and YoungK got a little emotional towards the end, that they teared up and they were trying to hold back their tears. And it’s just amazing how these boys are humble and that is something I love about them. They’ve grown so much, they deserve so much love and they’re still humble and I really hope they’re continue to stay humble and continue to produce good music and continue to be good performers.

One thing I realized during the concert was that I don’t have a bias in DAY6 anymore. I like all of them equally. My seat was on the 2nd floor, so these boys looked tiny to me. Despite the distance, they still shined so bright to me! Each and every one of them are so special in their own way, I didn’t know who to focus on! All of them were shining so brightly in their own color I just didn’t want to miss out on anything! I always thought I was a Sungjin bias but I guess I just bias DAY6 in general. I kept looking at each and every member for a good few seconds because I just wanted to see them all.

Anyway, for the technical aspects of the concert, the lights were good! The ocean of lights in the audience was beautiful! The visuals on the screens were done so well, there’s nothing much I can complain about! The only thing I didn’t like was that, the camera didn’t show Jae when he was playing his guitar solo in the songs such as Colors. They showed other members on the screen instead. But well, maybe it was my fault for not focusing? I don’t know. And since it’s the first time I ever went to a concert, I felt the sound system wasn’t so good? But at the same time, I think I’m just not used to being in a concert so I had no idea what’s it supposed to be like LOL. But whatever, their voices still shined and I still enjoyed it all entirely. I can’t really complain since I finally got to hear them playing the instruments loud and clear hehe. Oh and I didn’t really like how the security was strict about photography and videography? I guess it’s a good thing because at least people are not holding up their phones and blocking people’s view. But then again, I do want to record something for myself... Oh well. In the end, I let myself immerse in the concert and enjoy it without being distracted about my phone.

On a side note, I honestly hope I wasn’t a nuisance to the people around me cause I was rocking hella hard to their songs, singing my heart out (with my bad skills), trying my best to do the fanchants (which was probably wrong welps), cheering for the boys whenever they did anything, jumping up and down and waving my hand and whatever else I may have done. I really hope I wasn’t a nuisance to anyone and that I didn’t cause anyone to not enjoy the concert!!! But Jae was saying to get all hyped and I was all like “Ain’t nothing gonna stop me from having the fun and letting loose!!” But ok, I really hope I wasn’t a nuisance.

I actually expected myself to cry because I am quite a sensitive person but in the end, I didn’t tear up during the concert. Instead, my heart was filled with so much pride about DAY6. Okay, maybe I almost cried. Especially when I watched their 1st win on the fan video... That was a milestone for them, but I couldn’t help but feel genuinely happy instead. These boys really deserve more love for their work.

To DAY6, thank you for the amazing concert! Your performances were awesome! It’s a 2.5 hr I will never forget, and I don’t regret a single bit (but well, maybe my wallet does but it’s okay! It was worth it!) Honestly, I didn’t know I needed this concert until I experienced it! The way you boys actually got us to let loose and fully enjoy the concert, thank you, really. You boys are such good performers, I’m just so proud of you! You boys have grown so much, improved so much I just feel so proud that I don’t even know how to express it anymore!! :’) I’m not the best fan or the number 1 fan, but you boys are just so amazing with what you do, I will always support your music. You boys are doing so well, and I really hope the band will continue to do even better! Here’s to more great music from DAY6!

To fellow MyDays that attended the Singapore concert, you guys are amazing. For the fan projects, the fan video, for being hyped for the concert, and for having a (generally) good behavior, I really thank you guys for making this concert a memorable one, not only for DAY6, but for my own self. DAY6 would be proud! :’)

And for anyone who actually read this post, I’m sorry for the length and for sounding like a mom when I probably don’t deserve it but I’m just so proud of DAY6 even though I didn’t do anything as much as other MyDays but-- Anyway, thank you for reading this! :)

#day6 #day6 gravity tour in singapore

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rigelmejo · 3 years

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blows my mind that there are currently ANY chinese stories currently in the 98% comprehension level for me. that’s like... as readable to me as some english stuff...

i have one more month, then in august it’ll be 2 years since i started studying!

i know when I started, I assumed it was going to be like japanese (taking 4 times as long as french progress). So I had guessed “ok in 4 years I’ll be able to read most of my goal material and get a general overall main idea with a dictionary” and “in 2-3 years I’ll be able to read graded readers, comics, and subtitles with a dictionary of simple stuff and maybe comprehend the main overall point.” Because that is a Bit faster than how my japanese progressed.

Japanese at about 2.5 years hit “could follow the overall main point of very simple materials with the help of a dictionary” and like. wow its wild compared to even my japanese skills now (where I can read a contemporary not-too-complex novel and follow the ‘overall main point’ sometimes without a dictionary, read game subtitles and scripts both for main point and some specifics if I have previous context).

In comparison, French was like this: 6 months - could read pretty much any basic or nonfiction thing with the dictionary and follow main points, 1 year - could read pretty much any nonfiction thing with dictionary and follow main points and some details/still follow main points without a dictionary (between 1-1.5 years I read a more thorough grammar guide), 1.5 years - could start reading some fiction without dictionary and some fiction with dictionary for overall main idea, 2 years - could read the fiction i wanted without a dictionary for main idea (and with a dictionary for most details too) at which point i stopped studying actively since even without a dictionary i could start figuring out a lot of words from context.

Anyway, I assumed chinese was going to take 4+ years to get to the point i am at now, after about 2 years.

Where I’m at in chinese: simple materials I can read without a dictionary and follow main idea/some to most details (depends on genre) - so manhua/shows. more complicated materials like complex shows/complex short novels I can follow main idea but only some details (I will catch more details if I reread/rewatch multiple times). for audiobooks - I can follow the main idea if I have prior context but only some details and more details understood upon re-listening and if I have no prior context I require at least a few listens to catch main ideas/some details. for goal novels I want to read - can generally follow main idea without dictionary depending on genre and some details. if the context is entirely new or genre is new, I can follow main idea and most details with a dictionary. some novels - can follow main idea and some to most details without a dictionary, depending on genre/reading difficulty. generally, can grasp most main ideas without a dictionary and majority of main ideas/details with a dictionary.

So, put in another way, I’m similar to where I was in French as far as capability after 2 years. Except my listening skills are better lol. But, because chinese has so many hanzi to learn and has no cognates with english, I am still using the dictionary a lot more than I did with French at this point in my capabilities. I know with chinese I will make up a pronunciation in my head if I don’t learn the correct one of a new hanzi, so I’m still relying on the dictionary to pronounce new hanzi (and reinforce their definition while I’m at it so its not just a guess for meaning but a full definition). It’s an odd place because in some ways I think overall my progress is further than french was, but because french had so many english-like cognates to rely on both when reading and speaking I could sort of ‘drop study tools’ earlier and just ‘vaguely recognize’ and ‘vaguely understand’ a lot and get by with french. And that’s just not possible with chinese where I still need a LOT more exposure to naturally notice compound words by sound alone, to tell similar sounding words apart by context when listening, to notice ‘oh that’s the same X as in Y word, I bet this word has to do with that meaning’ when I’m listening (when I’m reading i can sometimes do it though thankfully).

I would not have expected my chinese to be improving around the time line my french did. And what helps chinese more is I’m still actively studying instead of ‘giving up study’ and just coasting on what I know lol. (I mean, to be fair, my chinese gets an average of 2 hours a day study time, and french got less time, so it tracks kinda cause that’s like 1095 (730 days*1.5 hours per day) or 1460 chinese study hours (730 days*2 hours per day) or worst case 730 hours if I’m overestimating (so if i really only studied 1 hr per day), compared to french’s like 365 study hours (730*.50).

From FSI, French takes 575-600 hours. My reading was studied but I ignored every other skill nearly entirely so I probably need a good 100-300 hours to just work on writing and speaking, and a large amount of hours to drag up listening skills. Also when I studied french I had no idea wtf I was doing a lot of the time so I did not study super effectively.

From FSI, Chinese takes 2200 hours. For I’m guessing B2 level? I’m getting in the middle range of time needed so maybe that’s why its somewhat similar to French in terms of milestones reached. Though again - listening skills are a bit better in chinese, reading skills are a bit not-as-adaptable since no cognates to rely on, speaking and writing are probably marginally better than french just because i have not done them at all recently in french so my active vocabulary would need to be re-remembered lol.

#july #july progress #reading progress

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drybonesawaken · 3 years

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A group of people wanted to share a journal together. So this week, I've been journaling (almost) every day, and tomorrow I'm gonna be passing it onto the next person.

It was kinda fun. Bit scary to put my thoughts out there - but not that bad tbh. I figured since I am not gonna keep the journal I should transcribe my thoughts somewhere, so here they are.

Yes, the math bits were included in the journal when I wrote. Just something fun I did. You can try to figure out if it means anything if you want :)

Maple 3.27.21

I don't like journaling .-. mah handwriting sucks, and pen ink takes too long to dry. Apologies If any of this page is smudged as a result ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And no, Maple does not use anything but pen. When mistakes are made, and trust they will definitely be made, you see a lot of bleh <- that. I also missed like three words in the previous sentence, but it's messy to try to go back and put them in :( this is the consequence of writing when brain is running at negative mph... This may be two paragraphs of nothing, but honestly that's how my day goes, usually. Right now I'm listening to this audiobook to fill up my brain and stop it from thinking. It's quite interesting. I read the book back in middle school, and it's taking me on a trip down memory lane. I was listening to this earlier while playing tetris, too. I'm joining a tetris tournament tomorrow, so I've been grinding this week. Hopefully it goes well! It's funny how I spend so much time playing this game which means so little - but somehow, I find fulfillment in the emptiness that it brings me. Breaking personal records is such a meaningless ordeal, but somehow it's something I strive so hard to do. These days, PBs come once every couple of months. It's not worth it.

Maple 3.28.21

Today felt like I did everything and nothing all at the same time. I found out I don't like tetris tournaments. I hung out with some friends. I ate a big dinner. I made some choices I highkey regretted, yet couldn't stop myself from making in the moment. I spent some time sulking over said mistakes by cuddling with roommate. Very thankful for him - I definitely make him so uncomfortable LOL but he puts up with it because he knows touch is my love language. I was debating for awhile today over what I should eat for dinner (or breakfast or lunch or whatever you want to call it :') ) and I realized what I wanted to eat most was my own cooking. Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling like cooking, so I had to settle for something else, but this was kind of a wake up call: when's the last time I cooked for myself? hmmm... It's also at the same time pretty cool because less than a year ago, I was still at a place where I strongly disliked my cooking and only ate it because I had to. Crazy how things can change in just a year - my culinary skills must have improved a lot over last summer... I really need to get my car tires fixed tomorrow. I have time tomorrow. I had better go. If I don't, my car is gonna break.

How does one stop beating themselves up for their mistakes? I don't struggle with forgiveness, but oh how I struggle with forgiving myself...

1 + 2 = 4 = 2

Maple 3.30.21

Yesterday, we had to record something for Easter that took forever. It was not fun. I kept messing up. And my perfectionist self kept blabbering about wanting to redo certain things. Everyone was tired - it went so long - some people had exams; I can only imagine how annoying it must have been to hear me complaining about doing things again, and yet - and I hate myself for this - I couldn't help but keep bringing it up. Of course, being unsatisfied with the way I played, I volunteered to patch things up in post production. *sigh*, what a mistake that ended up being. Afterwards, I was tired and wanted to go home. Yet, because someone asked, and I guess I was a bit hungry, I decided to go get food with Junshik and Bryan. My ulterior motive was to talk to Bryan about buying cars, so I guess that worked out. But yikes, I only got 7 hours of sleep last night. - Today sucked. I'm realizing more and more that part of depression is the complete dependence on sleep. When I get not enough sleep, I'm not just fatigued: my life is just hell. I straight up no-showed to a meeting and apologized for it 8 hours after the fact (my excuse was that I feel asleep. Wow, something so embarrassing most people would find an excuse for it has now become my go to excuse. Rip). Went to a meetup because I didn't want to cancel - again - so that was fun (sorry if you're reading this. I lied when I said that I was ok :/). Life group was great I wanted to die but I was leading worship so I couldn't just leave. And oh yeah I just spent the last 4 hours after life group mixing that audio clip because stupid ol' me volunteered to do it asap yesterday. Tomorrow will be fun. I have 7 meetings/meetups from 9am to 8pm. I wonder how many I'll cancel last minute, or straight up skip...? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I hate ______.

Maple 3.31.21

9am to 8pm today was rough. It's kinda crazy - when I wake up, I knew it wasn't gonna be a good day...but I really needed it to be at least an okay day. And I think I somehow willed that into existence :O I need to try this again sometime. Didn't cancel or skip a single thing today! (Praise God!!!) After my meetings all ended, I had to tutor for another 3 hours until 11:30, too. That was draining. I also pranked a friend today - told her I was dating right after midnight. Oh I love April Fools. She's the only one I can consistently troll year after year. I also spent a considerable amount of time after midnight trying to figure out how to script Audacity in Python. Useless, sure, but it could save us sound people a couple of minutes every Sunday if I figure it out. This is what my degree is for :') Sleep is going to feel so good tonight.

5 + 4 - 7 = 2 + 1 11 + 1 + 1 - 1 = 6 4 + 2 = 3 5 = 2 + 2 - 3 5 = 4 - 1 - 2

Maple 4.2.21

I think my handwriting is getting better with this almost-daily practice =) This whole week has been busy-ness from when I wake up to when I go to bed. Hung out with people yesterday for the first time this week, and it was pretty tiring. I can't say I regret it though; I had a lot of fun and learned a lot about certain people. Recently, I've been noticing that people can tell when I'm tired a lot more obviously - someone on worship team who I only interact with on Sundays literally called me out for it. I'm finding that it just sort of slips onto my face, in such a way that I don't notice and can't even recognize it: I'm shocked every time it happens. Maybe it's because I've lost the will to live, so the lack of will to hide it came alongside as well. I accidentally let it slip that I've been brain empty to worship team today, and now there are even more people worried for me, some of whom I barely know. I'm such a burden :( Brain empty is honestly such a mood though. I have too many problems and not enough will to confront them. Better to just avoid. Yeah yeah yeah this is not healthy I know. I'll save doing things the healthy way for tomorrow :')

1 + 1 = 4 + 3 + 2 + 1 8 = 7 6 - 5 = 10 + 1 1 + 2 = 1 - 1

Maple 4.3.21

Today was supposed to be a more chill day, but it really wasn't... Forced myself to get out of bed for a meetup rather than cancel it. I think if I had cancelled it, everything else I had to do today would have followed suit shortly after.... It ended up being a 2-hour meetup, straight into 2.5 hours of tutoring. As much as they might have been pretty ok tbh, I can't say I enjoyed it. I was so dead afterwards. I wanted to cancel my dinner meetup so bad. But I had already gone shopping earlier today (during the first meetup) so that I could cook for him. And I knew if I cancelled it'd be another week before I'd have a chance. The food would have gone bad. So following 2 tilt-inducing matches of tetris which were supposed to be stress relieving (they were not), commenced 2 hours of cooking, followed by a 3.5 hr meetup. It was... haha... Did I enjoy it? Yup. Did I have a hella-thick mask on the whole time? Also yup. I'm so ready for a long hot shower and an early bedtime. Tomorrow is Easter. I'm not feeling very victorious...

1 + 2 = 4 - 1 1 + 1 - 1 + 1 = 1 1 + 2 + 3 - 4 = 4 - 1 - 2 + 1

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thepsychicclam · 7 years

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Could you talk a little about what being a professor/getting your PhD has been like? Do you have to constantly do research and publish, is it hard to find jobs, do they pay enough to relieve the doctoral debt? I know you’ve moved at least once and I wasn’t sure if it was to follow a job, or if it was for personal reasons and then, was finding a new job hard? Did you start teaching while getting your PhD? I’m just fascinated by it and you seem like the best to ask!

Yes! I can share my experience. Everyone’s experience is different, and mine is unique for a few reasons I’ll discuss below. It may also vary from field to field. My PhD is in literature/English, and from what I’ve gathered, your concentration can influence a lot of stuff, too. So, under the cut, I’ll try to share my experience as much as I can! This is VERY LONG, so be warned, nonny! :D

Before I decided to get a PhD, I got a MAT - a master’s in secondary education with a focus on English literature. My BA is in creative writing/english lit. I taught high school for three years, and for a lot of reasons said FUCK THIS NOISE and quit. I lived with my parents and they told me they’d help support me. I ended up with a college teaching job (you can teach adjunct in the states with a masters) and they told me to get a PhD if I wanted to do it full time some day. I love teaching, and I’m good at it. I especially love teaching literature. So, I decided to go get my PhD.

Choosing my specialization was kinda interesting bc I decided to go for medieval literature, which I hadn’t really studied up until that point. I had always done Victorian and Shakespeare/Renaissance, with a bit of dabbling into Native American and postcolonial literature. But I taught Dante’s Inferno to my seniors my last yr at HS and fell in LOVE. So, I thought, “Hey, there aren’t a lot of medievalists. Everyone gets a PhD in Shakespeare/Victorian lit, so I’ll do that. Maybe it’ll make me more marketable.” I have always loved medieval lit, so I figured lets go for it.

My original plan was to do something with romances, so late medieval stuff. I ended up with two professors in the dept, one who focused on Anglo-Saxon/Old English and one who focused on Chaucer/later medieval. I took multiple classes in both, and my second or third semester, I took intro to Old English. I fell in LOVE WITH IT. It was a linguistics course where we learned the Old English language (which is completely different than modern or even middle english) and translated. I was GOOD at it and took to it unlike anyone else in the class. It just made sense. I think probably bc I had a background in Latin and German (I was a German studies minor in undergrad until I realized I couldn’t speak German to save my life :P) and I took like 3 or 4 yrs of Latin in hs. Anyway, I was hooked and switched to Old English. I took a lot of postcolonial literature courses, like Indian lit, lit of SE Asian, and Native American lit courses, and through this I met another professor who I adored. I ended up working with her to do my minor/secondary specialization, which is literature of the indigenous peoples of America (Native American, Chicano lit, etc - mostly Native American). I ALMOST wrote my dissertation with her bc I loved her so much and I love Native American literature so much. However, as a white woman, I didn’t feel that I would make a good postcolonial/Native American scholar, so I stuck with Anglo-Saxon lit.

I used my class papers to start working on my dissertation ideas. I got obsessed with monstrosity and the narrow definition in AS lit, and connected that to ideas of reason, which I also became obsessed with, and ended up writing all my papers about some type of monstrous transformation and how it connects to the reason of the punished. Thus, my dissertation topic was born, which currently has the working title of Transformative Bodies and their Punishments as Social Control in Anglo-Saxon Literature. It’s a terrible title, but right now, at least it states the overall topic lol

My comps, which are the comprehensive exams you have to take, took me a year to read for. Most people take one semester, I took 2. I took mine in the spring and just read for two semesters. Now, to put it into perspective, the English dept standard was 40 primary texts and 20 secondary texts, so 60 texts. Mine was WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY over that. I ended up with over 16,000 pgs of texts to read. Hint: I DID NOT READ THEM ALL. And remember, half of mine were in Middle English, so they took 3 times as long to read, and half were translated OE texts. But I read a lot, read the secondary stuff, and took my comps. Comps were supposed to be 2.5 hrs. The director of graduate studies handed me my comps and said, “You’re the medieval one, right?” And I was like, “...yes...” and he looked at me and said, “You get 4 hrs.” THAT’S HOW FUCKING LONG MY ADVISOR MADE MY COMPS. I HAD TO GET EXTRA TIME. So, 4 hrs I did nothing but type. There were questions on there that were not part of my 16k words, but I answered everything. I wrote 9 fucking thousand words in 4 hrs. I was PUMPED. Then, he gave me just a PASS not PASS PLUS. I’m a straight A student, valedictorian, graduated cum laude and magna cum laude, mortar board, scholarships, etcetc. I WAS PISSED :|||| I MEAN I HAD 4 HRS AND WRITE 9K ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?? It didn’t matter bc I still passed, but it was a pride thing lol

Okay, so that August I moved to Boston. My diss director was PISSED. I was ABD (all but dissertation, ie I had passed my comps), so I was going to work on my dissertation remotely. Many ppl do this. Well, he basically looked at me and said, “Yeah most ppl don’t finish who do this.” I cried for like 2 weeks. Then I got pissed and told myself I WILL FUCKING FINISH THIS IF IT KILLS ME. I regretted not doing the Native American diss with the professor I loved. My dissertation director is a dick. Hands down. I would be finished if I had a better director. I have had no support. Now, I did move to Boston, I procrastinated and took my time and had a lot of anxiety, but he didn’t help me at all. He made it worse. If you’ve followed me for awhile, you know I struggle with depression and anxiety, and at times it’s basically debilitating. So, it increased tenfold with the dissertation process. It took me a year to get my proposal submitted, finalized, and approved.

I started working on my dissertation, which thankfully I had drafts of chapters from my class papers. As of right now, I have drafted 4 full chapters of average 40 pgs each and am revising. My director takes forever to get back from me, and my comments give me MAJOR anxiety. Part of the dissertation process is being told “yeah this needs work.” It’s like, hey, your ideas are great! You have a good point! But here are 100 ways you suck. Or that’s what it feels like. So, it became a major source of crippling anxiety for me. When I was in therapy, it was like all I talked about. I have to spend a week or two just pumping myself to check my fucking email. I have been trying to make an inface mtg with my advisor for a freaking yr. He blew me off to go to the bar with his friends at a conference we attended last yr (I only know this for a fact bc I SAW HIM AT THE BAR WITH THEM when he texted me and said he had “fallen asleep.”) So, needless to say, that has been a huge struggle and conflict. However, I don’t think that’s normal. lol I’m just cursed.

Right now, I’m trying to learn how to push myself as an academic writer and researcher to the next level. Something I need him to teach me, but still trying to meet face to face! I’ve gotten to the point in my drafts that I need to improve the arguments and research in a few places, but I’m not sure how to break through my wall. I need guidance, you know? Bc I don’t live around the campus, I’m doing this alone. I don’t have a writers group or any friends in the program. I’m pretty alone and isolated, which sucks. It’s also not the norm either, I don’t think. So, I have to push myself and keep myself going and write in a vacuum. I’m the only medievalist in the Eng dept getting a PhD, so there’s not even someone else writing their dissertation in Anglo-Saxon lit or even Middle English. The medieval dept is small.

So, that is my PhD schooling experience. Let’s talk about work and loans. I worked at a different college as an adjunct while doing my classes. I did not do a graduate research or teaching assistant job at the university, which means I paid for my schooling out of pocket/loans. I had someone tell me once, “If you’re paying for your own PhD, you shouldn’t be getting one. If you’re not being paid to get it, you’re not worth anything.” Pretty much, I feel like I was told the entire way I was doing everything wrong. I couldn’t get a GRA/GTA while teaching at the other school. I was an adjunct with a 3 class load, so I made decent, though not much. I lived at home w my folks, so I was okay with money. I was extremely lucky bc of that bc most ppl live on their own and have to work multiple jobs. When I moved to Boston, that’s when I got the 239847239 jobs. (also why I used to write a lot of fic and now I don’t write as much lol real life, man). When I moved to Boston, I taught adjunct, 3 classes. I also did freelance writing and worked at a farm, mainly bc rent was$2000/mth and I didn’t get paid during the summer. When I moved to SC, I also ended up with a 3 class adjunct job, but continued with the freelance writing. I have always been incredibly lucky with getting jobs. I think it’s bc I have a lot of teaching experience (this is my 10th yr teaching) and I have a background in English literature instead of education. I also wasn’t picky where I taught. I wasn’t teaching at Harvard, Boston College, or even something like the University of South Carolina. I taught at a small state school to start with, a community college in Boston, and now another small state school. But all experience is good experience. One thing that will make you marketable is your teaching experience. Everyone I’ve every talked to who hired me was interested in my teaching experience.

For my career, right now I do a lot of conferences. I am doing 5 this semester, and I have done a ton of them. Graduate conferences, medieval conferences, lit conferences, pedagogy conferences, even library conferences. I give presentations/papers at each of them, bc I don’t see the point of going to a conference if you aren’t going to give a paper. I haven’t done any publishing yet. I have a few ideas for articles, but I’m terrified. It’s very hard to get published, so I haven’t tried yet :/ it is an expectation of all professors/phds to get published. At my current job, where I just got hired full time as an Visiting Assistant Professor, if I get a tenure track position, I have to have at least 1 publication within 5 years. That is a peer reviewed journal article or book. Getting published in English is SO MUCH HARDER than the sciences. I have a friend who works in Atlanta as a research assistant/lab technician/scientist (I’m not sure the title tbh) and she has like 3 publications bc she helped with these studies that they publish online that get published within like a month. My sister has a chapter in an art history essay collection, and it took 2 years to get published!! Academic publishing is the WORST. I’m hoping at least one dissertation chapter gets accepted as an article. I also did a project in my 102 class last semester that I have given multiple conference presentations and teaching workshops about, and I’m starting to work on turning it into an article. I want to be a teaching professor, not a research professor, so I’m trying to focus on the teaching aspect of my career. I just got a Brit Lit class for next semester instead of a sea of composition, so I’m trying to come up with a unique topical angle that I can use on my CV to show my teaching skills. So, part of my job is trying to find ways to increase my CV. Like, I run a panel at a regional literature conference (I kinda lucked into it bc my mentor used to run it, and now I do lol), so that looks good on my CV, too. So, it’s not constant publishing, but you are expected to do SOMETHING, conferences, publication, things like that.

Is it hard to find jobs? I’d say yes. Like I said, I have been incredibly lucky to always have a job. My dissertation director told me last yr after I got my job in SC, “Well, I guess you’re doing something right. I mean, you always seem to find a job.” (thanks asshole for that BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT) I am not picky. Experience is experience, and you’re not going to find your dream job immediately. That sense of entitlement limits you and keeps you from finding a job to start. Right now, I teach 5 fucking composition 101 classes. I was bitching to my sister today about how I was teaching fucking TOPIC SENTENCES and my students don’t get it!!! It sucks!! But, it pays a full time salary, and it gives me experience. Do I want to teach how to write a FUCKING TOPIC SENTENCE?? NO!! I can translate Old English and have studied medieval and early British literature for almost a decade. THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO FOCUS ON. But, I’m not an entitled asshole and realize I have to work my way up. When I finish my PhD, will get the perfect medieval/early British job? NO. I hope to get a job as an early British person somewhere (not my current school, who has no need for a medievalist really), but I know it will take one to two jobs before my dream job. Everyone I know has done 1-3 jobs before their perfect tenure job. Of course, there are always people who have the magic CV or whatever who will get that perfect job right out of grad school. I have no delusions. That’s not gonna be me. I’m an okay researcher and scholar and a damn good teacher. The first part means more than the last part for colleges. I just hope to eventually find somewhere I can teach Medieval lit to undergrads, and maybe do a course on monsters in pop culture.

Money wise, professors make okay but not mega bucks. I make pretty good for my area. But, I grew up poor, so having a full time job is like WHOO. I’ve learned how to live a great life on a lower salary. If money is what you want, this is not the career for you unless you’re teaching business or accounting at an MBA program. However, I go to work at 10 am, I leave some days at 1 and others at 3, I get from May-August and all of December off, and I make a full time yearly salary. So...I chose my profession for the time off. lol That’s exactly why I became a teacher XD I’m in a lot of student debt, but I worked out a payment plan with the student loan ppl and pay my loans every month. I’ll be dead before they’re paid off, but oh well :P

What other questions did you ask...yes, I worked the entire time teaching while getting my degree. At one point I was working 5 jobs lol but not while taking class, during comps/dissertation stuff. If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask! Like I said, I have a unique circumstance, with a dick dissertation advisor, moving between 3 states and teaching at 3 different places, though I finally have landed a full time college teaching position lol When I finish my dissertation, I will be very happy with my career path. Right now, with it looming over my head and making me feel like the fucking biggest idiot and stupidest person on the planet, I regret my life decisions XD But really, I don’t bc, you know, I work like 20 hrs a week XDDDDDD

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perksofwifi · 5 years

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2020 Mazda3 Long-Term Arrival: Kind of Grown-Up

Our new long-term 2020 Mazda3 hatchback proves we’re not quite ready to accept the automaker’s change of course. In case you’ve missed the news, Mazda is looking to focus less on its sporty and fun image and more on its new path to becoming a legit luxury brand. The new Mazda3 is the first official effort from the automaker’s pivot. That said, we’re having a tough time completely erasing away Mazda’s fun, zoom-zoomy image. Which is why we ordered our Polymetal Gray Metallic hatchback with the fancy Premium package—and a six-speed manual transmission. We think it’s a fair compromise.

The manual gearbox’s take rate will be low—about 3 percent, by Mazda’s estimates. But those brave few will be rewarded with a much more engaging driving experience that only three pedals can provide. A 2.5-liter four-cylinder rated at 186 hp and 186 lb-ft of torque is the sole engine choice for the Mazda3, and it feels much peppier with the manual (and its taller first gear) compared to the optional six-speed automatic. The leather gear shifter is satisfying to operate, and the brake and accelerator pedals are spaced well enough to execute your frisky heel-toe urges. Overall, it’s a solid manual gearbox.

Some staffers lament that the new Mazda3 has lost some of its sporty bite we’ve admired in the previous-gen version. And although that might be true at limit handling, I’m quite happy with how the new 3 carries itself around town and through the twisties. And besides, most Mazda3 owners aren’t aspiring to reach 1.0 g lateral acceleration on their way to Church’s Chicken.

So with that in mind, my year with the new 3 will focus on how well it gets me though my daily slog on Interstate 405 and weekend road trips. A long list of features should keep me busy and entertained. When it comes to tech, our Mazda3 packs adaptive cruise control, lane keep assist, a head-up display, a large and clear 8.8-inch infotainment screen, and Apple CarPlay. Other standout features include LED headlights that swivel in the direction you’re turning, a powerful Bose sound system, sunroof, and rain-sensing windshield wipers. Meanwhile, the interior is a sharp mix of red leather seats, knurled switchgear, and metal speaker covers that wouldn’t look out of place in a Mercedes-Benz. With all these goodies, our Mazda3 somehow manages to come in below $30,000—$28,420, to be exact. A base model Mazda3 hatchback is about $4,000 cheaper and is also impressively equipped; oddly enough, though, it can’t be paired with a manual transmission (same goes for the midlevel Preferred package). If we were to cross-shop our long-termer, we’d be looking at a Volkswagen GTI and perhaps the 2020 Honda Civic Sport Touring hatchback, which is now available with a manual transmission.

I’ll have plenty of other things to observe in future updates. Since this is a hatchback, I’m eager to see how practical and spacious the rear passenger and cargo areas will be. Can the 3 coddle me like a luxury car should on a long drive to San Francisco? And with gas prices on the rise in California, we’ll observe how close it can get to the EPA’s rating of 25/35 mpg city/highway.

2020 Mazda Mazda3 Hatchback BASE PRICE $24,520 PRICE AS TESTED $28,420 VEHICLE LAYOUT Front-engine, FWD, 5-pass, 4-door hatchback ENGINE 2.5L/186-hp/186-lb-ft DOHC 16-valve I-4 TRANSMISSION 6-speed manual CURB WEIGHT (F/R DIST) 3,027 lb (61/39%) WHEELBASE 107.3 in LENGTH x WIDTH x HEIGHT 175.6 x 70.7 x 56.7 in 0-60 MPH 7.4 sec QUARTER MILE 15.7 sec @ 90.6 mph BRAKING, 60-0 MPH 115 ft LATERAL ACCELERATION 0.85 g (avg) MT FIGURE EIGHT 26.8 sec @ 0.63 g (avg) EPA CITY/HWY/COMB FUEL ECON 25/35/29 mpg ENERGY CONS, CITY/HWY 135/96 kW-hrs/100 miles CO2 EMISSIONS, COMB 0.68 lb/mile

The post 2020 Mazda3 Long-Term Arrival: Kind of Grown-Up appeared first on MotorTrend.

https://www.motortrend.com/cars/mazda/mazda3/2020/2020-mazda3-long-term-arrival/ visto antes em https://www.motortrend.com

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formyboys · 5 years

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Jack 2 yrs old

10/18/18

Baby Jack, you were born 2 years ago and 2 days! Oh man I remember those few days. You were so tiny and shmushed and new. I remember how I immediately realized I needed you to be next to me all the time or you needed to be next to me. We needed each other. The first night or two it was just so natural to have you curled up under my arm, it ended up being the only way you or I would sleep for the first 8-9 months of your life. I always felt so guilty like I was doing it wrong, but there was no other way I could do it. It made us both so content. I think all that cuddling and warmth was really good and hopefully you’ll always be that affectionate and warm.

So for your 2nd birthday we had a huge bash. We’ve lived in our house on Oakbury for almost a year and I didn’t really throw you a first birthday party because we were staying in Airbnb’s. So I wanted to throw you a party and see all our friends and fam. It was such a great party! We had in the backyard with a Pizza place that brought their own brick ovens, a balloon making man, activities for the kids and Dakota Fanning even showed up. I mean, that’s pretty damn cool, even if it’s just because we’re next door neighbors. You were the cutest, running everywhere, playing with all the kids, getting in the ball pit trying to coerce partygoers into giving you gummy bears. Lol. I don’t think you succeeded but I heard it was really hard to turn you down.

We had your 2nd year check up yesterday and you’re so perfect. 95% height 85% weight and cute as button. Currently our days are filled with Juana and you can pronounce her name now perfectly in Spanish. And you say it all the time over and over. She comes in in the morning and makes us all breakfast and then takes you on a walk where you meet up with Nelly and the kids she nanny’s. Juana makes you lunch and plays with you and then puts you down for your nap. You sleep most days for 1.5-2 hrs. When you don’t sleep we pay for it in the evening with a fussy toddler. She loves you so so much, she’s super positive and I trust her fully. I’m working from home and super busy but at least I don’t feel like I’m missing your childhood. My favorite is when you get up from your naps and you’re a little sleepy but happy and you give the best hugs. You’re super opinionated and you like things done your way, you like to place everyone where you want them to be, and you take me by the hand to show me things and ask for things. You’ve learned how to get what you want that’s for sure, you’ll say a word like ‘baby’ which means you want my iPhone to look at pics of yourself, but actually you’ll go to YouTube to watch videos, so I’ve taken to deleting YouTube so that you just access the photos. But when you ask you’re so convincing and you’ll make this little smile like, c’mon mom, I’m so cute! And it totally works I’m such a sucker for my Baby Jack. Didn’t know what it was like to love someone like I love you. You’re my whole world and your dad’s world.

10/19/18

Every night either your Dad or I take you to bed at 8pm we get you some milk and take you up, brush your teeth and read some of your favorite books. Right now you are very into Bunnies. You have a stuffed bunny and we saw a real bunny when we were visiting Lolli and Pops in CO and you were very interested in it. We read you The Runaway Bunny at bedtime when you ask for the ‘Munnies’ and you love to say ‘Muney’ it’s so freaking adorable! We also read to you Good night good night Construction Site, Good night Gorilla, and Opposites, you love the opposites and you say Opposite like ‘apeetah’ so cute. After we read some stories I sing a coulple of songs to you, Hallelujah and Black Bird, I need some new ones. And then I put you in your crib and kiss you through the bars. And now I can just put a blanket over you and you go to sleep without a fuss. And then Dad and I watch a show or a movie and before we go to bed we always go check on you and take a pic and admire our baby. Love of our life.

10.27.18

Today it was just you and me. Your dad was at a 40th bday celebration with 12-14 of his college friends golfing and eating nice dinners. You asked about him all day long, Dada? And I’d tell you again where he is and when he’ll be back. It’s so sweet how much you love him. We went to baby gym today. So fun to watch you play on everything and now you’ll climb up the stairs to the ball pit and just hurl yourself in. You still won’t say your name when it’s your turn but you only just turned 2 last week and most of the kids and between 2-2.5. I can tell it’s hard to be 2. You have a lot of big ideas and it’s especially hard when you can’t have your way. I try to explain every situation so that you’re not blindsided by anything we do, but it’s hard to be a mom too. I don’t always know what I’m doing and a lot of the time we’re busy and don’t have much time. But when you have ideas that we can help you fulfill I always try and help. Not that long ago you would say vroom vroom and get your shoes in the evening and nod your head like, cmon let’s get in the car! So I made sure we all got in the car and drove around the neighborhood a few times. I haven’t figured out what to do about screen time, because truth is your dad and I spend all of our days in front of a screen. Fortunately you have Juana during the week so your screen time is limited to occasional movies and YouTube with her but I’m way more lenient and your dad is too. Lazy parenting. Not proud of that. I planned lots of play dates this weekend though so that helps. Seems like the more people around the less screen time. I’m making a big pumpkin pancake breakfast tomorrow for my buddies, Brooke is spending the night, Ashley, Dayna and fam are coming over in the morning should be a nice day. And then a 2 yr old party for Siena at Baby Gym. You were driving your toy cars over my head as I put you to bed tonight. Melts my heart. Love you so crazy much baby dude.

10.30.18

Oh baby Jack. You have me wrapped around your little finger. You have since day one. Tonight you insisted that I rock you to cheep (sleep) and if I stop rocking you command me to RA. You are crazy about your ‘money’ (bunny) right now. Because we let you watch Peter Rabbit on Netflix which I actually really enjoy and constantly wonder what negative things it might be teaching you. But you insist on having your money with you to go to bed and to take downstairs in the morning. It’s pretty damn cute. Your vocab is growing exponentially. You repeat what we’re saying and some words I can’t understand and you’re so patient saying then over and over for me... but doesn’t usually help. For all I know they could be Spanish words. I love rocking you to cheep. It fills my soul, my heart, I cherish it so much. Your little body pressed against me it’s the best thing in the world. I spend way too much time putting you to bed. Love you little dude. You make my world go round.

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joannawoo · 6 years

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What is HR really?

Industry 4.0, Business 4.0, whatever you want to call it. That's the new buzzword popping up everywhere. If business is changing so much, why isn't HR keeping up? At most, we're maybe at HR 2.5. HR 1.0 was when policies and procedures were brought in along with unions to make sure we didn't put our employees in danger and paid them just enough so they wouldn't want to burn the business down. HR 2.0 was maybe when we actually started to care about people a little bit more. The 2.5 part is now adding in diversity and minimal analytics. When are we going to get to HR 4.0?

People always think that HR is there to protect the company, not the people. I don't see why HR can't do both. Protecting the company IS protecting the people. Fundamentally at my core, I care about people. Because I care, I will do whatever I can to ensure that the business has sustainable growth year over year. This is important because a healthy business means that more jobs get created with minimal layoffs. Several companies in the region have gone through layoffs recently and hundreds of lives have now been impacted.

So what does HR 4.0 look like? Actually, let's start with HR 3.0 because a lot of businesses aren't even there yet. HR 3.0 is where you care deeply about people and help them grow. Enable them to exceed your expectations. Apply tech design and development practices into HR. Run HR as a business. With HR 4.0, it's mostly figuring out how to balance between technology and human, and running HR as a profitable business. So what does all of this look like in practice?

I wrote an article years ago about applying software design and development principles to HR. This was back in 2015 and sadly the site that hosted the article is no longer around so I can't pull it up but the piece to take away is that when faced with an HR problem, tackle it like a product problem. Analyze the situation, gather information and do research, brainstorm solutions, build the solution, gather feedback and validate that it solves the problem, and iterate. If your recruitment process isn't getting the results you want, run a retro to figure out what you're doing wrong. Too much on your plate? Do some backlog grooming, figure out what will deliver most value with least amount of effort, do some sprint planning. Start talking to your employees and figure out what they want to do in life. When that opportunity comes up, reach out to them. Stop misusing data. Applicant tracking systems love to track "source of hire". You see that 50% of your employees are from Source X, and only 1% of employees from Source Y, so naturally people come to the conclusion that they need to talk to more Source X people. THAT'S WRONG. Plot your source of hire data against employee performance. Don't just settle for where all your employees come from, figure out where your top performers come from. If all your top performers are from Source Y, then your job is to figure out how to increase that 1%. And if you think "top performer" is only defined by one thing, that's wrong too. It's a combination of productivity, impact to company culture, impact on coworker productivity, potential for growth...the list goes on. Stop being so one dimensional. This is all still HR 3.0.

I don't think too many companies are doing HR 4.0. I know I'm not there yet because I don't have the expertise or capacity to run analytics on certain things. Google's probably the opposite where they've got the analytics and tech piece, but don't have the human side. Let's talk about the easy part first which would be the analytics. We need to start doing more industrial/organizational psychology research to study employees in the workplace. We also need to hire more data scientists into HR to help analyze this data. Humans are so complex. Issues are so divisive nowadays and as a society, more and more people are suffering from mental health issues. Most of the research done was from decades ago. Have we really studied workers in today's world? We've evolved, yet our research has not. I'll use job postings as an example of all the analytics that could be done on an important, but very small piece of HR in the grand scheme. We should be doing tests on what information to include (or not) in job postings, how it affects application rates and quality of candidates, what the length of the job posting should be, different methods of application and what barriers are being created, when to post the job posting, where to post it, do you change the format and content based on where it's posted...that's just the tip of the iceberg. When it comes to sourcing, testing out different reach out messages, how/when to contact a candidate, etc. If it's a junior candidate, how long after they start a new job do you wait before you poach? What if they're an intermediate/senior candidate? Have you studied turnover rates and timing of turnover for certain companies? Then you have the rest of recruitment which is actually so much important than the 2 I just mentioned. And "recruitment" is just 1 of 9 of the mandatory HR courses to take. So think about how much there actually is to know and analyze when it comes to HR. Let that sink in.

Now let's talk about the hard part. How do we balance all the analytics with the human-ness of HR? What is actually the human side of HR and what does it look like? I share so many ideas of how to balance between business and people. Let's start by picking on unlimited vacation. Companies sometimes use this as a tactic to get their employees to take less vacation. That's what the analytics show. It's great for PR, people take less vacation, for a company that wants to take advantage of employees, it's a no brainer to implement this (at an org that has employees that already care about the company). So then if you knew that's what the analytics said and you truly believe the other studies that show employees perform better when they're well rested and feel taken care of, along with the studies that show that underrepresented groups usually take less vacation than their peers because they feel the need to "prove themselves" and to appear hardworking...then maybe HR would change those policies. There are definitely ways to make unlimited vacation less intimidating, usually by implementing a minimum vacation policy and letting people know that on average, people take x number of weeks of vacation, but we've also seen as high as y weeks and that's absolutely fine too, can't even remember who the employee was. Could also monitor vacation time to make sure that there aren't certain groups who tend to take less vacation than everyone else. But really...the better solution is just to get rid of unlimited vacation and give everyone 6 weeks. Typically, people don't take 6 weeks. It's seen as over and above "unlimited". To balance the business though and to ensure that you don't get stuck with millions of dollars of vacation liability, have it only accrue up to 3 weeks and it stops accruing until you actually use up certain days. This way, payout is never more than 3 weeks and employees will be using up vacation throughout the year and getting some breaks in instead of waiting until the end of the year or worse, when they burn out. Next, let's talk about catered meals. Companies sometimes implement it because they think that way it'll save time for employees and they can then spend that time working instead and it's a cost savings overall for the company. The pitch is that we cater lunches though which is a draw for people...FREE LUNCH! (There is no free lunch in life as my dad always says.) It's a taxable benefit, it's usually not the healthiest meal, there are food allergies or preferences not considered, employees complain about the food options, etc. For any company who truly believes that they want to improve lives of employees and offer them a good healthy meal at work, why not bring in fresh groceries and have a meal prep station at work? It doesn't need to be a full kitchen (but that'd be super nice!), but have some way of cooking meals at work. This way, employees choose what food they want to eat and you're helping them build life skills and teaching them how to cook. The analytics part? Have you ever considered how many people are becoming complacent at your place of work because of these perks or the golden handcuffs you've placed on them? Are they still passionate about their jobs or are they only there for the free lunch? Don't even get me started on catered dinner. People should be going home to their families for dinner, not stick around until a certain time just to get a "free meal" out of it. Look into the analytics of how a strong social network and family life outside of work can affect someone's job performance. This is why I have always believed that we need to do whatever we can to help people be successful outside of work. Whenever a new father tells me that him and his partner are expecting, yes I'll go through all the parental stuff with him, but I also tell him these are the entitlements his spouse is eligible for at their place of work, and advise him on how to best support his partner through this, and if his partner decides to take time off work to later transition back in, how to help with that transition. I help employees' friends and family members find jobs, because I believe that if a company truly cares about an employee, they'll also care about that employee's extended network. Think about the studies that talk about how personal lives can affect performance at work. If a company can do more to help people remove stressors from their personal lives as well, then that employee will have so much more positive energy to put into their work. Salary negotiations, most people hate these. If a company actually cared, they'd pay their employees as much as they can that is fair before the employee has to ask for it. When people have to ask, it taxes that relationship. People like to be recognized and should be paid what they're worth. Just because someone is an inexperienced negotiator doesn't mean they're inexperienced at their job (unless you're a lawyer maybe? or a salesperson?). Why not just be transparent with salary all the time? I find that it's usually an easy conversation for me in terms of, this is what I think you could be making anywhere else based on your skills, but this is the money we have right now. Or I don't think your skills are there yet, here are some goals for you to meet before you can get this salary. If a candidate gives you a salary expectation lower than your actual range, do you really think you can just go with their number and get away with it? People will talk. That employee will find out that they lowballed themselves and then they'll resent you and just leave for another company. Is it really worth it when you think about all the money you'll now need to spend to backfill the role and retrain someone? Look at the costs of onboarding. There's your analytics piece and now figure out how you can treat people like humans first of all and then secondly as adults so that they don't leave your organization and will also give you 100% of themselves at work. Let's be realistic here, most companies only get about 40-60% of their employees' focus/performance potential.

I could probably go on forever about what HR 4.0 looks like, considering I've spent the last 72 hours (on and off) writing this. FFS just treat people better and get some data to back up why you should treat people better. I do what I do because I believe that's how you help grow a business; you start by growing the people. When you do a good job at taking care of the people, the people will take care of the business.

P.S. I've had so many people thank me for doing what I've been doing lately with the layoff stuff, telling me how they've never met anyone who cared so much...stop thanking me. This is what being a good human being means and what we should all be doing. Again, I'm not particularly kind. I'm just trying to be a good person and ideally, this is what an average person should look like and the things I talked about above are what every average company should be doing. Let's create change together.

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rotten-zucchinis · 7 years

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Seder Reflections 2b: from a snowy ace meetup to how I got to hosting my own seder

This piece is the 2nd part of a two-part story continuing from: “Reflections on how I got to hosting my own seder” [ text ]

The 1st part is “Exploring ‘The Women’s Haggadah’” [ text ]

For me, the story of learning my connection to the history of feminist women's seders begins in an unexpected place--events often have consequences far beyond what anyone could anticipate or predict while they are taking place.

About ten and a half years ago, I embarked on what is typically a 2.5 hr highway journey, in a snow storm, to attend an “asexual”[1] meetup. I was living in the prairies at the time, and had only managed to meet 1 other asexual person locally ( via AVEN ). [ Before I moved out there, I had been to a few meetups and had met a few local asexual friends... but the social landscapes differ wildly with the geography. ]

It was a Big Deal meetup-- one where people were coming from various distances because it was “the” meetup-- and there wasn't another one in the time I lived out there. About 25 people showed up. I'm glad I went, but I didn't really click with anyone there on a personal level. Not to mention that I don't do well in groups. But the meetup itself isn't really the point. On the other hand, one of the other people who showed up was actually living in the same city as I was.

She was involved in an LGBTQ+ youth group at the time and she invited me to attend. I did. As it happens, we didn't really end up being friends, partly I imagine because she took off overseas shortly after that. But I did get quite involved in the youth group ( and I certainly wouldn’t have otherwise ), and that has had some long-reaching consequences. Among other things, that was the first space where it was accepted for me to be not a woman and not a man. I didn't really have the “non-binary” language for that yet ( and neither did they ), but the space and the people in it were accepting.

Living in the prairies generally was also interesting for me in the sense of navigating my atheistic, liminal Jewishness. Unlike what I had known up to that point, being ( even a little bit ) Jewish in that context was a major point of difference. I was used to being “less Jewish” than many of the people around me, and suddenly I was a whole lot more Jewish ( even if I wasn't “Jewish enough” to belong with the Hebrew-speaking Jewish student group largely populated by international students from Israel who met regularly to eat bagels ).

One of the people from the LGBTQ+ youth group was a trans guy who knew I was missing some Jewish stuff in my life. His transness is quite relevant because, for whatever reasons, in that city at the time, a large portion of the trans guys were Jewish ( so being trans put him in contact with Jewish folks in ways he wouldn't have been otherwise ). A friend of his ( also trans ) was hosting a feminist queer-and-trans seder. It was a mix of non-Jewish LGBTQ+ folks withe emphasis on the T ( most of whom had never been to a seder ) and a few feminist LGBTQ+ Jewish folks who were used to missing out on seders because family spaces weren't so accepting. And me.

Owing to dietary restrictions of the host and attendees, all the food was vegan with gluten-free options ( including the mazah ball soup! ). That was the first time I had experienced that.

And while it certainly wasn't an all-women seder, it was one of the first spaces I ever occupied which was explicitly for women and trans ( & non-binary ) people ( i.e., for people other than cis men, centred around people other than cis men, inclusive of non-binary people even though we didn't really have the language of “non-binary” the way we use it today ). That was also the first time I had experienced that. This seder was explicitly and self-consciously continuing in the tradition of the women's seders, continuing by opening up space for trans people who weren't there. [ “The Women’s Haggadah” for instance has parts that are pretty ciscentric. It reads like the women writing it just weren’t thinking of trans women at all. ]

The seder was very welcoming. I still remember my place-card name tag with purple puffy-paint that said “friend #2”. Attending was a positive experience for me. But more than that, it was the first time I saw how a seder could be suited to the people who were actually involved and participating in it. And it was also the first time that eventually holding a seder myself seemed like a possibility.

Several years later, in yet another city, I was talking with someone who had been raised in a traditional Orthodox Jewish family, which was quite alienating for her ( as an atheistic queer, feminist woman ). It happened to be around the time of Passover. She was intrigued by the idea of a feminist seder-- especially the parts that explicitly welcome LGBTQ+ folks. She was also interested in the idea of Humanistic Judaism.

Shortly after Passover, we co-hosted a humanistic, feminist ( vegan ) seder with some of our peers ( who weren't Jewish ), including some of the additional readings with which I was familiar—e.g., one version of Four Daughters [ text ], a version of Miriam's Bowl [ example ], the Orange on the seder plate [ example ]. The only humanist Haggadah I could find at the time was a Unitarian Universalist one, so we used that as the skeleton of our seder. ( I’m not actually all that into Unitarian Univeralism but at least it was a starting point. )

Our seder wasn't kosher for Passover ( especially since that was before the Conservative movement made the decision to allow lentils and soy for Passover for Askenazi [ explanation ] ) and that was okay.

Also, our seder had no men. ( It was mostly women-- cis and trans-- and me. ) That wasn’t entirely by design, but I think that also was central to how the space felt.

Going into that evening, I was a little hesitant because, as the only person who was familiar with even the idea of a feminist seder, I was the “expert” ( even though I didn't feel like one ). Ultimately, it was another positive experience-- and a learning experience with creating cooking. It did, however, feel like a very rough work in progress. But I left with the sense that I wanted to continue the work-in-progress, and more importantly, that I could. Eventually I would host my own seders.

Last year was the first time I hosted a seder at home, observing the Passover in my own space. It was a very small seder with just someone(s) else for me to share it with ( as it was again this year ). As a reference guide, we used the Haggadah that I had grown up with-- a pretty standard Reform Haggadah, and some additional readings. Much like what I was used to with my family.

This year, I explored other, very different Haggadahs and ended up using a particular ( relatively new ) feminist Haggadah as the skeleton of my seder. Eventually, I will assemble a Haggadah entirely of my own ( which will probably be a living compilation ). But this is where I am on my journey now.

It is not lost on my that my induction to the world of feminist seders was by the invitation of a man ( never mind a non-ace man whom I'd only met in the first place because I braved a snow storm to meet a bunch of aces ).

It's not lost on me that that I had to discover of my own connection to the women's seders of the 70s and 80s by myself, instead of this knowledge being passed down to me in the spirit of the seder itself.

And it is not lost on me that I navigate my own seder as an atheistic Jew ( of liminal Jewishness ), sharing the space with someone whose connection to Judaism is very much about relationship with the divine.

This is how I got here. I don’t usually think of my Jewishness as being related to my aceness or non-binary transness, but they are connected. And my journey continues, exploring these connections.

Footnote:

[1] This was long before we were using the term “ace” and when “asexual” was functioning as an umbrella term even more than it is today ( as I've written about before: [ text ] ). It feels misleading to just say “asexual” in a context where I would now say “ace” but the anachronistic retrospective application of “ace” also feels weird.

#feminist seder #queer seder #LGBTQ+ seder #trans seder #jewish ace #jewish asexual #family cw #brief mention of ciscentrism cw #liminal Jewishness #still not sure how to tag this #my ramblings

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yearinaustralia-blog · 6 years

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Tasmania....here we come!!

Week 13: It has now been a month since we visited Tasmania ..... took me so long to finish this post since there is so much to say ..... but hope the blog still sounds as fresh as our memories.

We had heard so much about Tasmania both in the UK as well as in Australia that it had to be our first big holiday destination. Friends in the UK had loved its natural beauty and someone I met in Brisbane had honeymooned there.

So we are on our way to Launceston in north Tasmania for this 4 day trip, too short according to many. However ,we need to fit a lot in during the year here!! We had heard that you can travel around this island in 2-3 days so we are sort of trying to do that.

Here I have to stay something about the Brisbane and Launceston airports. Although they are maybe not the most well known airports by any means, parking your car and getting to the airport or hiring a car is so easy and stress-free. Extremely streamlined, quite contrary to some experiences in Europe.

First thing we realise after landing in Tasmania is that it is cool here!! Felt like England in say March time. Very different to Brisbane for sure. Next thing you realise is that there is no traffic on the roads!! Very different to anywhere we have been so far!!

The landscape is a lot like England’s as well. We drive to the Freycinet National Park to get a view of the famous Wineglass beach, said to be one of the most beautiful in the world. This was after a lunch break in Campbell Town, one of the colonial towns in Tasmania. Here the convict history has been depicted through red bricks laid on the streets-quite a novel way.

When we finally reached Freycinet, in order to see the beach from a lookout point we needed to hike. This is our first proper hike with the girls I think. Aashna was terrified of the 250m hike but was finally persuaded (or pushed!!). No regrets though. We came across wallabies on the way and the view from the top was absolutely breath taking! So worth all the tears.

After another 2.5 hrs on the road, we finally arrived in Hobart. However this was not before encountering at least 6 wallabies/ kangaroos who decided to cross the road irrespective of the traffic. Each one was saved thankfully.

We had a day in Hobart and loved the vibe of this harbour city with Victorian architecture. Went to the Salamanca markets in the morning. The markets were really buzzing and we got some decent souvenirs at a bargain price.

However the place I am really glad we went to was this newly established cottage museum about the first Antarctic expedition from Australia. An inspiring story of such bravery and hardship!! Also learnt about the Southern lights (just like the Northern!!) which we didn’t know existed!!!!

Next stop was the MONA, the Museum of Old and New Art. This has been established in the last 6 years by a philanthropist. Quite an eccentric museum this was!! Not seen anything like this before. Very bold and very different. The ferry ride to the museum was also quite nice and scenic.

There were many other places to see around Hobart but we had to get back to Launceston. The infamous Port Arthur site is said to be beautiful but quite definitely eerie. So gave that a skip.

Instead we decided to go to the mountains the next day. That was not before exploring Launceston a bit in the morning. Found a very nice café for breakfast. Just everywhere seems to provide tasty food in Australia. The other uniqueness of this place was the charming board games on each table. A must have in this phone crazy world these days I think! Thoroughly enjoyed the food and the game before setting off for the Cradle Mountain.

Now this was a picturesque but a decidedly windy drive and I had to help Sarju out for some of the way. I got on the wheel on the single lane drive and have to say quite enjoyed it. Hardly any traffic as always and turning around the bends was fun. Not for him for long though. He thought I was way too fast!! So next thing we know he was back in the driver’s seat! It was not so uphill as I had imagined which is always a bonus with a motion sick child in the back!

We arrived late in the afternoon and hopped on to a tour bus. It was drizzling slightly which obscured the views of the mountain. However it seemed almost ethereal to be in the surroundings with the mist adding to the mystery. The lake is supposed to be 10,000 years old and was formed from a meteorite fall. We did some easy tracks around the lake and the mountain that the weather and time allowed. Girls were so thrilled. They loved the challenge and did not seem to mind the rain at all. Just amazing to be one with nature.

This park is said to be the epicentre for all sorts of wildlife but all we could see was a wombat from a distance. Still the trip was worth it. The bus driver told us about this night tour of the park when you come in with torches and look for wildlife. So would have wanted to do that but for another time I suppose. Never mind….this was definitely a highlight of the trip along with the Wineglass Bay and the MONA!!

Next morning was spent in Launceston before we boarded our afternoon flight. Though it seemed to be quite a dead town, have to give it them that even the gorge was beautifully maintained. Always makes me think about how much India has to offer by way of nature as well as history compared to the rest of the world only if it was beautifully maintained!!

We are back to Brisbane on Monday night but still to come during the holidays are the Commonwealth Games right next to us in the famous beach city of Gold Coast!! Can’t wait to get there come Wednesday!!

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theareya · 8 years

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even numbers for the gaming asks!

Okay, its been 1000 years since I posted this gaming ask. But here are the answers!!!! I put most under the read more…

2. First game you played?The first game I ever played ever, in thehistory of forever, was Super Mario Bros. at my babysitter’s house, if mymemory serves me correctly

4. Longest consecutive hours you’ve played agame?Ohkay, let’s see. Without eating or bathing,but I did get up briefly to bathroom and drink water, I finished uncharted 1,2, and 3 consecutively in 120 hrs. Needless to say, I never did that again, asthe blood vessels in my eyes popped, I ate two bigmacs after, and my parentsyelled at me. Otherwise, without moving or tending to most of my basic bodilyneeds, 10 hours max as of late.

6. An underrated game from within the last fewyears?I don’t know, I’m probably biased and neverreally look online to see how the game was rated/how it’s doing. Oh! But! Ireally liked Battleborn, which was basically a game that came out like a littlebefore Overwatch? Or near the same time, actually. You also fight in teamsagainst one another with unique character abilities to obtain certainobjectives. Honestly, it is extremely well done and detailed, but very muchfalls in Overwatch’s shadow possibly due to similarity and budget D: 8. The game with the best atmosphere/scenery?I’m biased. I love Bioshock. But I also am ahuge fan of those apocalyptic, dystopia aesthetics. So, essentially, anythingalong the lines of bioshock, Fallout, and Last of us.

10. Prefer PC or console?I’ve always played on console. And I’m so bad atPC. You would think it’s a bit easier to aim a cursor to shoot at something,but I’m particularly bad at that.

12. Most bizarre game you’ve ever played?Most games are pretty… bizarre. Most of theactual weird ones I’ve only seen online on those “top ten weirdest video games”but maybe Katamari? There are definitely weirder ones… The Nightmare Within wasalso… strange. I don’t actually know what counts as bizarre anymore in thegaming world. Shrek party…

14. Do you watch playthroughs online?Sometimes, yes! If I know I am never going toget the game. For example, an xbox exclusive (I do not have an xbox) or if Ialready played the game and want to see others suffer, lmao. Or if I like thestreamer.

16. The best year in gaming you’ve experienced?… I don’t remember. I’m going to say 2011.

18. Worst game you’ve played?There are probably worse games, but I’ll go withthe most recent one I’ve played, which was Bound by Flame. It was kind of thisunfortunate mix of—attempt at—Dark Souls, Dragon Age, and other medieval games.Some parts of the gameplay were unnecessarily hard for kicks, with no way toovercome the boss aside from chipping away at the health by throwing a rock atit, while your single dead companion lay sprawled in the middle of the fieldten seconds into the fight. And of the one and a half romance options pergender you were allowed, none of them were very enticing. Spoiler** I overcamethe end fight by purchasing 10,000 potions to fight the dragon. I made itthrough just fine, only after using 600 potions. Strategy was little help, butheyo I made it through. 20. Favorite publisher and/or developer?…Sony? I don’t know… I’m terrible at thesequestions.

22. If you could turn one game into movie, whichwould it be?You know I don’t know, since any game thatturns into a movie makes me want to cry bitter tears of hate. I’m looking atresident evil specifically. But if I could turn Bioshock into a really goodmovie with the proper actors/actresses, storyline, extras, atmosphere, then …yeah.

24. Ever cried because of a video game? Whichone(s)?…Too many. Nothing gets me more invested andemotional than a videogame. I guess the only one that has made me actually cryvisible tears is Journey. The ending overwhelmed me in an inexplicable way.

26. How often do you play online? Co-op?Relatively often now, especially withOverwatch, and the fact that a lot of my friends have Overwatch as well. So,like, every other day, if not daily. Otherwise, I love co-oping with a friend mostlybecause the AI that they give to work with you tends to … suck butts. Lookingat Resident Evil… again.

28. Who got YOU into gaming?My babysitter. Haahaa. I used to hang out ather house all the time and I’d watch her play all sorts of games. She’s alsothe one who gifted me my purple game boy color :’D30. On average, how long does it take you in thecharacter creation screen?Could be up to an hour. But at least 30minutes. It depends on if I know what I want.

32. Do you cosplay?I do! But I’ve actually only cosplayed animethings. Most of the video game stuff I would like to cosplay is too hard and/orI wouldn’t do it justice. Also I’ve been parts of group cosplays generally, sowe gotta find a good match.

34. Favorite male npc?For some unknown reason, the only personpopping into my head right now is erandur, the dark elf companion, from skyrim.Like… he’s not my favorite npc, but…my mind is drawing a complete blank. And isjust repeating that name over and over in my head. Oh boy

36. Best antagonist?Albert Wesker. …Spoiler??** Look… if you gottathrow him in a volcano to get rid of him after 200 tries of “just survive longenough” fights, he’s pretty good to me. Please let him die.

38. Have you tried a game, hated it, then triedagain, and loved it?N….no? There are some games where I getfrustrated, then invite a friend to play, who is extremely over-leveled, andthen they help me… live. Does that count?40. Favorite voice actor?Okay, I love Troy Baker. How can one person beso gosh darn versatile?? For anyone who doesn’t know (I doubt that) He voicesJoel from TLOU, Booker from Bioshock, Sam Drake from Uncharted, to name theones that pop into my head. And he does like a million other voices, and sings,and is just very excellent overall.

42. A game you will never forget (in a bad ORgood way)?Resident Evil 5 in the respect that I justplayed it during a very happy time in my life with one of my friends. And itwas also when I learned that I really love co-op, as well it was a supertreasured bonding time with that friend. We legit screamed so obnoxiouslythroughout the whole thing, apologized profusely, yelled for help. Like thatgame brought out our full range of emotion while playing.

44. Do graphics matter?Not necessarily. They add a nice kick, butthere are quite a few games I can think of where the gameplay and story aremore prominent. Storyline is generally always the main thing I look for first.Storyline and characters. 46. Always, sometimes, or never use subtitles?ALWAYS. Even for NPCs. Like the setting thatsays “ALL SUBTITLES” one of the reasons is because it alerts me to enemiessometimes too as they whisper in the distance. Which is the closest thing to awarning from jump scares that I’m going to get.

48. A game you’ve always wanted to play but havenever gotten to it?Um. I’ve actually been pretty aggressive ingetting my grubby hands on the games that I want. EXCEPT. Nearly everythingthat came out after Kingdom Hearts: Chain of memories?? Like 2.3, 2.4, 2.5, 5 ½,365/3 days idk there were too many?? AndI basically had almost every console except the PSP so I just kind of gave up??

50. How many games do you own?…uh… too many?? At least 200 if you total allof them from the dawn of my first game boy color.52. A game you will always stand behind, andsupport no matter what?..Fable. OKAY So, even though the game, alongwith the game company crashed and burned, I really loved that first game??Along with The Lost Chapters. I essentially based the experiences I had withFable 2, 3, Journey on how good the first game was. If I were to make someoneplay it now, they would probably think it’s pretty dumb, but I thought it was acleverly made game…54. A sequel you really want?… lmao Fable. AND/OR The Wolf Among us, becausethat’s been sitting there for far too long.56. Do you tell people irl that you play videogames?Yeah. If it comes up in the conversation. Or if…they have merchandise that I want.

58. Ever have someone walk in on a sex scenebetween you and you LI?N…o…60. The game you are best at?I know Bioshock inside and out… I don’t knowwhy I’ve played it so much, it’s a very linear game, but wuh. Also weirdly, I’mvery good at Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. And the only reason I’m obnoxiously goodat that game is because of the Chaos. I love those ridiculous little things andwould do anything to make sure they’re happy and healthy. And in order to dothat I had to play each stage multiple times to get the right power-ups andanimals to feed the Chaos…. There was a whole garden. And god.

62. Would you want to work with video games whenyou are older?I feel like if I start working with it I’llstart disliking it very much, unless I literally work as a tester… that getspaid a decent amount. Like seriously, walk in, sit down, play for… hours uponhours. Otherwise, I do not have the creativity or skill. lmao.

64. Describe your favorite video game using onlythree words?Underwater death city.

66. Game with the yummiest looking food?Final Fantasy XV. Okay, so I haven’t finishedthe game. I’m really not even that far into it, like… at all. I just saw thefood and got hungry. It’s so realistic and pretty.

68. An older game that you’ve just recentlygotten into?I guess… Fallout New Vegas was pretty old, butthen my friend bought it for me on sale, and I tried it out and it was supergood??? And now I’m really into the Fallout series.

70. Do you play any mobile games?I.. play Fire Emblem Heroes, and a variety ofother mobile games like.. Notice me Senpai, Zen Koi, Mystic Messenger, uhhh…whatever is recommended sometimes. .

72. Have any guilty pleasure games?Not really. I’m pretty prideful in every game Iplay, including my otome games.74. Which game has the best lore?…Once…. Again, BIOSHOCK. Idk there are just somany little things in the city that you can find that point to the history ofthe residents, and what happened to them. There are those audio messages and littlesecrets that everybody has in the city, leading to its fall. I just love it somuch. Skyrim is a close second, to be fair. It’s more immersive and I canroleplay more on there.

#augustussinclair #asks #ask #yay

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