#u fools u idiots

[curiosity-killed]

Why! Do people in movies always fling their scabbards away like fools do u not remember that the sheath is the greater treasure

[utterdrip]

astarion is sooooo funny hes like “why did you trust me! that was so fucking stupid !” [affectionate]

like my love having someone trust you and listen to you is like. Your Thing™️

[samuelroukin]

SAMUEL ROUKIN as John Simcoe in TURN: WASHINGTON'S SPIES (2014—2017) Episodes 1.06/1.07/1.08

[togamest]

some of y’all rly suck at just being honest and saying you don’t like someone 😭

[hyperbolicgrinch]

✨ weekend wip exposure club ✨

rules: post 7 sentences/a snippet of an unfinished work

@theotherwhybietoldmeso & @killerandhealerqueen

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. Forgive me. I was fighting demons (imposter syndrome, crippling self doubt, fatigue, and a wild pack of mental illnesses). (⁠◕⁠દ⁠◕⁠) But! I'm finally back after like three ass weeks. <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠> So, here! A v unserious snippy from my we have to stay silly modern kidlaw au (yeah, shocker, it's them bastards again) that I've been doing sometimes on the side just for shits n giggles. 〜⁠(⁠꒪⁠꒳⁠꒪⁠)⁠〜

The call connected and Killer's accent crackled out of the speaker. “Law? What's up?”

“Nothing urgent. I just need to know if Eustass h—”

“Yeah, his phone’s dead again. He's in the shed. You want him?”

“What?”

“Hang on. I'll get him.”

Law pinched the bridge of his nose. Squeezed his eyes shut till he saw pinpricks. “No, I just need to know if—”

"Oi, Kid! Your boyfriend wants to speak ta ya!"

Law snapped his eyes back open and nearly crushed his phone as his hand clenched in a useless attempt to smother the speaker.

Ahead of him in the aisle, hands in his pockets, Cora stopped. His leg held out in front of him as he froze mid-stride.

Dammit.

After a beat, as if he'd been waiting for what he'd heard to start making a little more sense, Cora slowly turned on his heel. His other leg still stuck out in front of him and the hem of his heart-covered button-up twirling with him.

He stared wide-eyed at Law. The embodiment of flabbergasted. His raised boot absently clicking down on the supermarkets’ bland tiling like an accompanying exclamation point.

Dammit!

"He's not my damn boyfriend!" Eustass yelled, taking the words out of Law's mouth.

The heavy rock blasting from the shed’s stereo lowered enough in volume to not blow out Law's phone speaker and Eustass' voice dropped several octaves as he brought Killer's phone up to his ear.

“Miss me, did ya, sweetheart?”

His eyes bulging, Cora took several steps back in bewilderment and tripped over one of the restocking boxes stacked in the aisle.

"Shut up, Eustass!" Law snapped. His face igniting alongside his fury. "You're on speaker!"

There was a pause so pregnant it had reached its third trimester. Then Eustass chuckled. It had a grotesque amount of facetious glee in it.

"Am I now?"

So. That had been a mistake. But Law could only double down now.

"Behave," he said through clenched teeth. "Or I'll—"

"You'll what? Don't go making promises you can't keep, princess."

Cora toppled back over the box trying to get up and landed on his back with his legs sticking straight up.

"I'm going to—!" Catching Cora's eye from down on the floor, Law sighed. "Doesn't matter. I'll deal with you later. Cora-san wants to know if you have any dietary restrictions.”

He scrunched down into his jacket. Tense. Gritting his teeth. Law still wasn't sure how Cora had talked him into letting him come over and cook dinner. But if it had been a bad idea before, it was a horrendous one now.

Eustass Kid was an arsehole. Always had been. Always would be. Always was. There wasn't a chance in hell he could be trusted not to—

"Hold up. Cora's there?"

"Yesss," Law hissed, ready to brain him.

“Put him on then.”

“Don't tell me what to do!”

Cora looked from Law to the phone and then accepted it when Law clicked his tongue on his teeth in irration and offered it down to him.

Tagging @schwazombie (no pressure. You keep working on those kidlawgust prompts if you're still on a roll 😊) and anyone else that wants to give it a whirl ✨✨

[drowthelynes]

@writebecauseyoucannotbreathe's magnificently hilarious post inspired this comic :3

toph learns a valuable lesson about grifting, only one (1) soap was harmed

[ignisgayentia]

dog training is sooo wild man. i say "okay" and my puppy goes and does her own thing. i just told her "you can go play on your own" and she took her toy and went to go play without me. i ask her "do you want your food?" and she goes to lay down on her bed and waits for instruction. what is this sorcery!!!! WHY DON'T PEOPLE TRAIN THEIR DOGS MORE??

jellybean tax ✌️

[carpathians]

also beaver hollow makes me so insane for. real reasons but also for reasons i entirely made up. tbh

[pondslime]

man attempts to buy fire extinguisher off wall.mp4

(brian van holt’s cameo as the most annoying man alive in sex and the city)

@visceravalentines here u go meg

[kyber-kisses]

Bo-Katan: I’ll take you to the mines, you’ll never find it on your own.

*leads Dins down the largest fucking street towards a massive door*

[kakusboyfriend]

"Friends to lovers" this "fake dating" that.

No man what I want is two losers who are best friends/in a qpr and one is Way more open and physically affectionate about it than the other, who just happens to be a fucking idiot about it.

[thenugking]

if i could travel in time I would go back to the moment before I posted Take Me Back To Start, the moment I decided that yeah, it would just be easier to name all my Family Jewels fics after song lyrics to make the title writing easier. I would sit my naive foolish dumbass younger self down and tell them to not fucking do that until they can get me an appropriate fucking song lyric for the fucking kikidalia fake dating fic, i am dying here.

[redlyriumidol]

god this is after Isolde says "she's a woman just like me"

"and pretty too" like dam let her live... it's been ages since I have played as anything but a male elf (with which this dialogue is about elves) and this completely caught me off guard lol

[sakorb]

why is it when I have no way of opening my game doI really feel the want to

[hearts401]

i hate funtime foxy actually <- keeps dying