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padawan-jiejie · 5 years

Text

My Choice [ 1 / 3 ]

Summary: You are Anakin’s twin sister and Mace Windu’s apprentice with forbidden kind of interest in Master Kenobi that does not go well…

PART 2 | PART 3

Word Count: 2124

Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x sister!reader, Obi-Wan Kenobi x reader

Warnings: !MyEnglish!, shipper!Anakin (c’mon, we all know our guy is a shipper I’m telling ya he’s shipping like half of the galaxy with someone), angsty angst

A/N: For this to make sense the reader has to be about 15 years younger than Obi-Wan, so I hope everyone is okay with that and somehow this will be a 3 parter so enjoy 💜💜💜 I am not entirely satisfied with this but I just want to post something so here you go anyway...

“You’re doing it again.” said your brother sounding rather irritated.

“I’m doing what again?”

“You aren’t listening to me when I’m talking to you.”

“I’m sorry I’m tired of hearing how beautiful and amazing Padmé is. I’ve heard it 10 thousand times before - at least!” you sat up straight on the sofa in your room in the Jedi Temple.

”Excuse me?! She is-”

“Yes, yes, yes, I know, she’s perfect and everything that I am not, yeah, cool.”

“I didn’t say that. Look, you have to stop shutting me out. I’m just trying to reach out to my little sister-”

“By three minutes!”

“But still little sister… and it’s like talking to a wall. What has gone into you? We used to be close.”

“Yes, we used to. Back when we were telling each other everything.”

Anakin let out an angry growl. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about Padmé earlier. Is that what you want me to say? That I could have told you about marrying Padmé?”

“Yes, you could have. But also there’s this thing where you are no longer a padawan and that is just not fair! And you see Obi-Wan all the time and I almost never do…” you looked out of the window. You didn’t mean to be rude to him but that day was just everything going wrong (not to mention a woman’s natural body processes called period had something to do with it) and all you wanted to do was to be left alone and cry into your pillow. Ani has come to tell you that on his last mission he’s married his long-time crush and that brought emotions to the surface. You were glad that he had someone. You always wanted him to end up with her in the back of your head. If he did, it could give you some hope for finding love for yourself, but on the other hand, it made you slightly jealous. How come he’s a Jedi Knight first and how come he gets the girl while you’re here? How come he’s with the one he loves and you’re not?

Anakin frowned and crossed his arms. “Speaking of Obi-Wan, he mentioned something about Master Windu debating with the Council whether you should go through the Padawan Trails already or not. Some in the Council are not fond of Master Windu’s teachings of the dark side he’s done with you. That’s why you’re still a padawan learner. I bet that if it wasn’t for this you’d be a Jedi Knight way before me.” His words comforted you a little. What came then, didn’t. “But you are upset about not seeing Obi-Wan so much, huh? When we were talking about telling each other everything, it seems I’m not the only one keeping secrets.”

You stayed silent. You weren’t open about it but you also never exactly refused having feelings for Obi-Wan. Unlike your brother though, you knew better than to pursue your desires when the one you secretely held higher than others was obviously not interested. Attachment is forbidden after all anyway.

Anakin didn’t need you to confirm his assumptions though. With a mischievous smirk, he asked: “You have feelings for my master, don’t you?”

You glanced at him, shyly nodding. He was not surprised, to be honest with you. For the last couple of years, you always played with your hair when Kenobi was around. You were actually listening to him and somehow ignored everyone else. You wanted to go to missions with them - much to Mace Windu’s distaste - and was very disappointed when you couldn’t. You were daydreaming a lot and your brother caught you staring at Obi-Wan many times. Hell, you two even shared a couple of conversational exchanges that could have been considered flirting by many! During the battle of Geonosis, you were seriously struggling when Obi-Wan came to help you and saved your life. After you all were safe and sound, you had a moment with him and blushed rapidly when he hugged you. Anakin put two and two together when he saw it. He sensed your affection towards Obi-Wan before but up until now, didn’t think that you were this deep into it. He was a bit scared. He knew about master Kenobi’s way of viewing things and he was sure that even if Obi-Wan felt something for you too he would most definitely decide to put the Jedi Code first. Like this the only possible outcome was you getting hurt. That bothered him. He sat down next to you.

“Y/N, don’t you think he’s a bit old for you?”

“Padmé is older than you and I’m not saying anything!”

“That’s something different!”

“I know, I’m sorry.” You took his hands in yours. “Congratulations, Ani. I hope that it’ll work out with Padmé. For both of you.”

“I’d like to say the same thing to you. I don’t think I ever will be able to but thank you.” You sighed and he squeezed your hands. “Y/N, I am certainly not the one to be telling you this, given that I just got married, but… You need to realise that it’s Obi-Wan we’re talking about. He’s not the one to, you know, act upon his feelings even if he has a lotta ‘em. You have to let go of him. He will not go against the Code. He had the chance to do it before and he didn’t. He’s not as dumb as I am.”

You smiled at his remark but didn’t feel any better. “I wish our mom was here to give me one of the mother-daughter talks. To tell me how exactly to let go of him.”

Anakin didn’t know what to say so he just pulled you closer into a protective embrace. He wanted to get you out of this but he knew he couldn’t. Not on his own. Not without a little help from the source.

“Master!” Anakin called out after Obi-Wan when he saw him in one of the corridors of the Jedi Temple.

“Anakin, what do you need?”

“Um, I-I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but it’s about my sister.”

“Is something wrong with her?”

“I guess so.”

“What is it then?”

“Well.” Anakin looked around to make sure no unwanted ears were listening. “Y/N is having a hard time and I need your help. I need you to speak to her.”

Obi-Wan cared for you and was genuinely concerned to hear this. “What do you mean by ‘having a hard time’?”

“This is between you and her and I shouldn’t intervene but I’d be surprised if you didn’t know she has feelings for you.”

So it is about this. Obi-Wan sighed and scratched his beard. Of course, he knew. He sensed your emotions right when they first appeared. He had to admit since then you’ve grown into a young beautiful and intelligent woman. Unlike his brotherly bond with Anakin, you never seemed to have this type of place in his life and lately, he became aware of the changing nature of your relationship with him. Somehow it didn’t alert him. Maybe because he wanted to ignore the red flags. Maybe because deep down, he wanted it to be that way. But it was not strong enough of a connection yet and there still was the Code.

“What do you want to me speak to her about precisely?”

“I don’t know, just sort things out. At this point, she’s really upset and I think that if you’d make it clear to her what your intentions are, it would give her some perspective. I mean, she knows that you and her, won’t happen - there’s the Code and everything - but she’s unable to let go.” Just like me. But I and Padmé have future. Her and Obi-Wan, unfortunately, does not. They’d make a truly adorable couple though.

“Alright. I’ll have a word with her.”

“Thank you, Obi-Wan.”

You just came back to your room from another exhausting lightsaber combat lesson with your Master. You took a long relaxing shower and hopped into your bed. It wasn’t late but you wanted to get more sleep than usual.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

“Come inside,” you said sitting up, rubbing your face.

Your brother’s master walked into the room. You swallowed. His worried face meant only one thing. Anakin has told him about your little talk. You started to nervously play with your fingers, failing immensely at slowing down your heartbeat as he sat down on the bed next to you.

Neither of you said anything. You were staring into each other’s eyes letting the tension to build up. It was almost like having a mind-reading conversation. You knew he was here to remind you that the attachment is forbidden. Obi-Wan knew you would tell him that you are aware.

After a few minutes, you pulled your legs to your chest, waiting for him to make a move. When he was ready, he spoke up: “I’m afraid that there is an important matter that needs to be discussed between the two of us.”

“It doesn’t sound that terrible when you put it like that.”

“I would not say this is terrible. Complicated? Sure.”

“Look, master Kenobi, I don’t know what my brother told you but-”

“It's not about what Anakin told me. It’s about what we’re unintentionally doing to each other and it troubles us both. I think it is necessary to sort it out.”

What we’re doing to each other? Troubles us both? Is he suggesting what I think he is...?

“And we need to do it quickly before you get hurt.”

“I get hurt?”

“Do not freat. I’m only saying that there is a Code we must follow, Y/N. No matter our feelings we cannot let them get in the way. You the same as Anakin tend to break the rules and it’s been working fine for you so far, thus you might think that you’d get away with anything, but I am warning you now. You won’t, Y/N.”

“I know how to behave. I might have had disregarded the Council’s orders before but it’s not like I’m some kind of a renegade.”

“I am aware. I’m simply letting you know that whatever it is that you’re feeling for me, you have to burry it.”

You ignored the sudden string in your heart and said: “Wait, now I’m a little confused.”

“Confused?”

“Let’s pretend for a moment that there’s no Jedi Order, no Code. I need you to answer a couple of questions.”

“I don’t believe that is a wise decision.”

“Me neither, but please.”

Obi-Wan with doubtful expression moved so you were sitting face to face now.

You bit your lip before asking: “How long do you know about my feelings?”

I don’t like this. “You’re better at it now but when you started to develop those feelings you were not as good at hiding them.”

You blushed. “You know all along... And you didn’t do anything.”

“What was I supposed to do? I had enough problems with adolescent Anakin. I was hoping that this will fade.”

“Fade...”

“But because we’re having this conversation it obviously didn’t.”

“Y/N.”

“Tell me if I am correct... This is mutual, isn’t it?” You figured out he must be feeling something for you too but you had to hear him say it. As you patiently waited for his answer, he was thinking of a way how to put it. He did find you attractive and when having a connection with you, you always had a lot to talk about and never got bored of each other. If he wasn’t a Jedi, he was certain he would persue you and already be head over heals. But it was difficult and there was still the age gap to think about.

“Obi-Wan please.”

He gave up. “I admit that I have feelings for you but we are both Jedi and we are forbidden from forming relationships and it is my choice not to act upon these feelings.”

You looked down. You didn’t know whether to be glad or sad. Tears began to fill your eyes. “I know and thank you for telling me.”

Master Kenobi didn’t miss the tiny tremble in your voice and reached out with his hand to pull your chin up. “Look at me, Y/N.” It broke his heart to see you cry but the worst part was that he didn’t know what to do to make it stop.

“I just... I... I’m sorry.”

He wiped your tears and took your hands in his. “Do you see now why you have to let go of this- of me?”

That didn’t help.

“I am so sorry. I am terribly sorry but I... I... I really don’t think I can do that. If so it’ll take a lotta time. Just, please... p-please... Promise me...”

It became hard for you to speak but he knew what you meant.

“I promise to stay my normal self around you and I promise that even if we can’t give in to our feelings and have to suppress them, I won’t let that damage our friendship.” With those words, he kissed your forehead and left the room.

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