#also i just think it's very smart of him to do all these things but it also makes being a fan of his very interesting

[inchidentally]

"short and easier to read" babe I am so sorry to you and everyone else for how my insane posts come out - it's why I link to so much stuff bc it is a struggleee for me to not write just run-on sentences ;__; but I do get what you mean and I promise I tried my best - it's def shorter than the og and in smaller bites if that helps ??

(I actually wrote this on someone else's laptop so it's got proper punctuation and capitalization and everything!)

For those who don’t know: Oscar is an acts of service guy Lando is a words of affirmation guy. Let’s remember that someone’s love language is how they choose to express themselves, not what they should demand of others!

Oscar is also very much not a PR guy, for anyone totally oblivious to the obvious (and that all his "greatest hits" in PR were done unintentionally or bc he's awkward or bc his mom is cooler than him). For example, Oscar brings up his girlfriend of 4-5 years a fair amount but it’s almost hilariously not gushy or romantic (having a “cuddle” is as far as it goes lasfgjlsagfl). But he’s said himself that for the most part he’d prefer not to have too much private life available to the public. *His downtime with Lando joins in with all his other social life in being extremely limited to the public. 

The “thanking the sponsors” thing is one of Oscar’s safe, approved speeches he pulled from Andrea so that Oscar doesn’t have to do spontaneous on-camera speaking. Sorry but not all of us are good at it and it’s wayyyy easier to just have some rehearsed pre-approved soundbites. He tends to have a few that he repeats for a while until he updates the list lsafjslafhlafh.

He also very openly struggles to do on-camera speaking and no one knows that better than Lando who’s had to help him a huge amount. 

It does seem to be mostly cameras that make him stressed bc he was fine thanking Lando for his help in Baku at the fan stage in Singapore and overall he can use more of his dry humor when he's speaking to people rather than just to a camera. 

Lando’s recent inclusion of Oscar in his media responses to this degree is a reaction to Hungary and Monza - normally, his post race responses focus on himself and his own performance (which is literally normal and the default for drivers!!). The recent emphasis on teamwork/Oscar is something he feels he needs to do with his own PR work right now. He’s a smart man who’s been doing this a long time, so his reasons are valid no matter what fans think. He’s not sitting there working out or analyzing Oscar’s PR, just his own. 

People are absolutely running away with themselves over Monza and ignoring that apart from that one moment, Oscar is widely popularly seen as the supportive teammate role. To the point where last year and even part of this year, Lando was criticized by a lot of fans for not acknowledging Oscar enough.

Going off of that, let’s show how easy it is to take PR and media to make one of them look bad by turning it around onto Lando (!! this is for an example, I do NOT endorse hating on Lando for any of it !!)

Lando openly disliked being referred to as the “older teammate” and kinda left Oscar to his own devices so much last season that Oscar wouldn’t know where he was going a lot of the time and even semi-joked “my teammate’s abandoned me” (again, reminder this was not a source of drama for anyone but fans). He got called a little duckling a lot bc he’d tail Lando closely so as not to lose him. In fact it started irking some people that Lando would spend so much time with Carlos or Daniel and not getting to know his new teammate and helping him out with his rookie season of F1 the way Carlos did for Lando.

In every team photo where Lando has had a podium and Oscar has had nothing (and sometimes due at least in part to team orders!) which is very often! the comments sections have always had plenty of ‘Oscar is such a great team player, always happy and showing up for Lando no matter what’. So the whole ‘Oscar doesn’t do enough for Lando’ narrative is extremely recent and at odds with the rest of reality.

Please read the very first part of my enormous full post bc Lando didn’t thank Oscar for his Miami win, he praised his driving.

Even though at Silverstone this year Lando got on the podium and Oscar didn’t, Oscar made the fan stage all about bringing Lando out of his disappointment and even said he did the shoey “to make us feel better” and then dedicated the top row of his IG that week to photos and videos of him and Lando. Special note that this is in no way Oscar’s home race and he was solely seeing it as emotional for Lando and McLaren - and he had zero reason to personally be very happy after that weekend.

I’ve seen Melbourne this year get mentioned in the team orders discussions on my fyps, so that’s a handy example in many ways: Despite Melbourne being Oscar’s literal hometown race - and Lando even filming some Quadrant stuff at Oscar’s childhood karting track where a corner is named after him* - this year Lando didn’t acknowledge Oscar really at all over the weekend until someone mentioned him at the end of the podium press conference. Lando acknowledged that Oscar following team orders made his (Lando’s) drive a bit easier in Melbourne this year but said that he was faster than Oscar and deserved third over him anyway. (Good contrast to Hungary and even Carlos stating that something an undercut due to pit strategy shouldn’t erase one teammate being faster/more dominant in a race in order to give the other teammate the win!) He did PR work with pretty much everyone except Oscar actually, even doing promo for his (Lando’s) dad’s electric scooters on the new dotmov acc. Kind of like him being on a similar PR campaign at Singapore this year because of a sneak preview of Quadrant rebranding and announcing the Landostand at Silverstone  - he went for the biggest PR hits and posted Daniel on his jpg account, did a golf day with Carlos and Max F and was more active on socials than he had been for months. All while only having Oscar in one photo out of the whole weekend’s carousel despite the McLaren double podium. You could even read into him cutting Oscar and Oscar’s trophy out of two of the shots if you wanted! (He did include Oscar in the big group photo after the podium celebrations.)

*I saw some ppl say he didn't include Oscar in the Melbourne karting filming bc McLaren doesn't cross over with Quadrant, which isn't true. Zak has shares in Quadrant and Bianca has been included in the Quadrant rebranding launch with Lando's Singapore helmet design.

See how easy that was to flip it around?? If you’re even slightly biased against a driver or never see flaws in another- or are dying for two teammates to hate each other - then confirmation bias will always find plenty of “evidence”! Because the reality is that after the Austin GP, Lando found his “older teammate” mode and began helping Oscar out with his rookie year. In Melbourne, Lando spent his first day filming for his .mov account including the Oscar jersey and merch he came across - and Oscar mentioned how he and Lando talked about Lando filming at his old track. (Again, not PR coordinated or filmed, just mentioned!) And that after the Singapore race this year, they beamed at each other every other second of that night, filmed a deliriously happy post race video and joked in the cool down room - I honestly doubt have even noticed yet what the other has posted to IG salfhsalfafa. All of the negativity fans are coming up with is their own personal spin and does not resemble how Lando and Oscar are behaving to or speaking about each other.

They base their relationship on their conversations and interactions solely away from the public and the cameras and don’t do any inflammatory commentary about each other. They bragged about the door in the team hub that separates their drivers rooms from everyone else and leaves them open only to each other. Their communications only matter to each other when in private.

Segueing on from that: media and social media are literally PR. Lando is extremely skilled at it now and Oscar is not at all naturally skilled and is still learning. Lando is quick to be able to adapt his media responses, Oscar is not and often sounds stilted and uncomfortable. But it still has nothing to do with how they think of each other and talk to each other personally.

And “Landoscar” has never had the typical PR bromance aspect that we all love in other teammates, and it never will. Lando and Oscar mention but don’t broadcast or package their downtime together and they don’t share their private dynamic with fans or the media apart from the glimpses we see in more relaxed content. It’s just their choice! And just like it doesn’t mean Lando and Oscar are less friends because they don’t PR their relationship, it doesn’t mean the friendships who do utilize PR are less friends! 

And tbh that’s a good note to leave on: that seeing two drivers with no PR to gain from openly liking and respecting each other should mean that we as fans place less importance on the PR responses they give to media and put on social media. So many people want them to hate each other (Netflix even begging them outright) and rivalries get far more headlines and fan engagement, that if these two didn’t like each other or even were blah about each other, they wouldn’t waste time trying to fake it (side note ppl actually thought this joke was deadly serious for a short while). F1 isn’t team sports, no one really cares if drivers or teams appear “friendly” unless they’re desperate for money/engagement to keep them afloat (even there, Alpine prove it clearly isn’t a priority to have friendly teammates when you’re lower down the grid!)

There is absolutely nothing to be gained for them in faking the smiles and laughter and twinning. Equally there’s nothing to be gained by us as fans in judging them and their relationship based on their PR responses and PR work. Lando beams and smiles the same at Oscar after all of Oscar’s awkward, stiff debrief speeches and I kind of want one of these crazy stans to say to him that Oscar is a bad team player and doesn’t show Lando enough appreciation just to watch what his adorable face does in response (don’t do that I’m joking).

[blueteller]

Do you know how smart Cale actually is? Like- what extent his intelligence can reach?

That's an interesting question! Let's take a look.

From what I know of IQ scores, anything above 120 puts you in top 10% of the population. So I easily see Kim Rok Soo!Cale belonging in that category; of >120 IQ. However, IQ had always felt a little vague to me. It's nice to have a number to put on a scale and all, but what does it actually mean in reality? Let's try this from a different angle.

Gardner's Multiple Intelligences model of divides talent into eight categories, plus one additional one:

Visual-spatial

Linguistic-verbal

Logical-mathematical

Body-kinesthetic

Musical

Interpersonal

Intrapersonal

Naturalistic

Existential

Why not try to measure him up against each one, as no person is actually intelligent in every way and not even a fictional character can excel in all of them (unless they're a Mary Sue or something lol).

Visual and spatial judgment stands for easy reading, writing, puzzles solving, recognizing patterns and analyzing charts well. I think Cale is definitely a pro in this category; he does loves reading and he's fantastic at analyzing data.

Linguistic-verbal is for remember written and spoken information, debates, giving persuasive speeches, ability to explain things and skilled at verbal humor. And while I constantly make fun of Cale for not being able to explain himself, he IS good at using the "glib tongue" and being persuasive, so I think he is very skilled in this category as well.

Logical-mathematical means having excellent problem-solving skills, the ability to come up with abstract ideas and conduct scientific experiments, as well as computing complex issues. Cale is an incredible strategist able to change his plans in an instant, so he is definitely a genius in this field.

Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence is a fun one, because I think it's the hardest one to judge, considering that he literally changed bodies. It of course stands for sports, dancing, craftmanship, physical coordination, and remembering better by practice rather than learning theory. Cale... does not like that. However, it doesn't mean he's BAD at it. If he was a genius in this field, however, I believe he would like it a bit more. Thus – I suspect he was average. In the past he was forced to exercise for the sake of survival, but once he was given the option of taking it easy, he quit instantly. He is capable, but does not have any particular predisposition for it.

Musical Intelligence drives me nuts, because we literally do not know, and I dearly wish I did. There was not a single mention of it in the whole series. As much as I want to believe in a cool headcanon of KRS being an unrealized musical genius... I think he was probably average or below average in this.

Interpersonal Intelligence stands for communication, conflict-solving, perception and the ability to forge connections with others. And while you might have some doubts about Cale, I say he IS a total pro in this. Those are all leadership skills, and Cale is one HELL of a great leader.

However...

Intrapersonal Intelligence is where Cale is severely lacking. It could be partially due to trauma, but I think at least some of it comes through his natural personality. It stands for introspection, self-reflection, the ability to understand one's motivation and general self-awareness; and that is Cale's biggest weakness, one that might actually cost him his slacker life dream in the end, due to all the misunderstandings he causes.

The last two, Naturalistic and Existential Intelligence types, are also not really Cale's forte. The first is for things like botany, biology, and zoology, paired with enjoyment of camping and hiking – none of which Cale actually does for pleasure, only because he has to. And yeah, farming is in that category too, but it's not like Cale is actually a real farmer just yet. And the second is for stuff like philosophy, considering how current actions influence future outcomes, the ability to see situations from an outside perspective and reflections into the meaning of life and death – and Cale is REALLY not interested in this type of self reflection.

Which leaves Cale with 4 types of intelligence he excels at, 2 which he is REALLY BAD at, 1 where he's below average and 1 he's probably average, with 1 left completely unknown.

Does this make Cale a genius? Pretty much, yes. Does it also make him stupid in very specific ways? VERY MUCH, YES.

[bangtanficsforyou]

Deep Learning (JJK)- Announcement

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: SMUT. PWP. JUST READY TO GET DOWN AND DIRTY. THAT'S THE GENRE, YES.

Rating: 18+

Summary: Getting tutored by the school nerd sounds boring. Well that is, until you, tease him.

Word count: no idea

Warning: it's just porn without ANY plot 😩, or^l (f receiving), ti^^y sucking, fing^^^ng, p in v s^x, d^^ty talk if it counts, protected sex (cause Jungkook is a nerd, OFC HE'S SMART), there's some degra^^^^on, they do it on the table, he ties her hands up and idk what else 🤏🏻😩

(AGAIN it feels so awkward writing it with all the '^' but feeling awkward is better than Tumblr flagging you)

Tentative date: first week of October on my Patreon.

A:N: I'm actually very proud of coming up with the fic title because "deep learning" is actually a subset of machine learning, which is further a subset of artificial intelligence (which is what I study). But then "deep" learning can also have a double meaning if you think about it 🤔

Also, today only I was watching this movie review and the guy reviewing, commented how every movie has this thing about nerds wearing glasses and the moment you remove the glasses, BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO, they turn into the hottest guy ever. I nodded so hard, agreeing how illogical it is. And now look at me, doing the same 😔😫. (I too, have glasses btw)

This is a Patreon exclusive for the $8 tier.

Also, while we're at this, I would like to clear out something:

I know there will be people on Tumblr who will come across this post and probably get interested to read this drabble/one shot. Now, I know, this whole "patreon exclusive" thing might be a bummer for many. Trust me, I understand. However, I also cannot deny that there are people who have subscribed to my patreon (be it $5 tier or the $8 tier) and it's my duty and responsibility to make it worth it for them.

As of for people, who aren't/can't be on my Patreon, I just want you to know, I'll do my best to not make you all feel left out. There's loads of fics coming your way, so sit tight 💓

[clrasecretdiary]

Why does she give a damn about me? | Spencer Reid x Reader

cutesy, cheesy fluff

In wich Spencer thinks reader is out of his league but she could not be more into him.

Content: Garcia is a queen as always, sunshine!reader

Warnings: Maybe some light lack of self steem from spence, but nothing crazy!!

He was used to it at this point. Being the weird kid in high school and college, Spencer never really expected anyone to be into him and, after being rejected a couple of times, he had practically closed himself off in that sense. But then, you came into the picture.

You are one of those girls that everyone seemed to gravitate toward, not only because of your beauty but because of your essence. You were genuinely kind, smart and good with people in a way he wished he was, maybe that’s why he was so drawn to you, you had all the qualities he wished he had and being close to you made him feel complete.

Needless to say that he was in love with you, it had started as an admiration and when he realized he was thinking about you all the time, but he was sure you would never be into guys like him, he was sure you’d never see him as more than friends.

–

You had joined the team a few years ago, you were excited to finally be doing what you really wanted when you joined the BAU, going out in the field and being on cases instead of just working a desk job all the time. When you first met the team, everyone seemed very welcoming but you felt yourself especially drawn to Spencer out of all people, at first he seemed distant but with time you noticed how sweet he was and how much he cared for everyone around him and god that man was so funny, you loved his weird science jokes and his magic tricks. How were you supposed to not fall in love with him? You asked yourself that question every time he brought you coffee in the morning or went on his rambles about some random thing.

After a particularly intense inquiry from a very drunk Garcia in one of the girls' nights she organized at her home, you told her your feelings for Reid and she made you swear you would act on it.

“Garcia, I'm not confessing. He's not into me like that, i’ll just ruin our friendship”

“Oh honey, he practically kisses the floor you walk in, he follows you around the office like a lost puppy and practically kills any officer that dares to be the tiniest bit mean to you. There’s no way he’s not into you, at least try pretty please” She says, doing puppy eyes at you. Garcia took her job as a cupid very seriously and was not going to let this be her first fail.

“Alright, i’ll try but if he ends up hating me you’ll have to bake me cookies everyday until i die” You say rolling your eyes and finishing your glass of wine.

“Ohhh i’ll be cooking cookies for you guys wedding!”

–

So, here you are holding his favorite order from the local coffee shop and gathering the courage to press the button to the elevator

“Hey are you fine?” A familiar voice calls you, when you turn around its spencer.. Great, guess you’ll have to do this right now

“Oh hi yeah, I was just um… meditating”

“Did you know meditanting has been proven to increase your memory and is also great for reducing anxiety. I really should start doing it, what method do you use?” Spencer says while pressing the button to the elevator

“Ummm breath in, breath out i think” You say, unsure how to respond

“That's actually one of the best ways as it oxygenates your brain and helps it work better, it can also help you feel more calm since deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system that sends a signal to your brain to tell the anxious part that you're safe and don't need to use the fight, flight response” He says, doing the little smile and head nod thing he always does after info dumping.

You smile back at him, as you both enter the elevator and press the button to the BAU floor.

“I brought you something” You say, handing him the coffee shop bag

He opens it and smiles at you “I can’t believe you remembered my favorites, thank you so much” You love that smile so much, all you can think about is how perfect he is and how there’s no way you can continue on without dating this man.

“Actually, I need to tell you something spence… I was thinking, maybe we could go out together as like, a date or something” You say, already blushing from the embarrassment you felt and how scared you were that he did not reciprocate the feelings.

“Really? Of course i want, to be honest i’ve wanted to ask you to be honest but i thought you’d never see me like that”

“Are you kidding me spencer? I’ve had a crush on you since we first meet”

The elevator gets to the office, and you both walk in blushing and joking about how you two were so blind to each other's feelings. As you get in, garcia passes by you two stopping to stare

“There’s something happening here…” She says, pointing between you two and pressing her eyes together as if she’s profiling you two

“I asked him out”

“Oh my god finally, you see? I’m always right, I don’t even need to ask what he said, look at Reid, he’s glowing, ohh i’m so happy” She says, walking out to probably tell the news to everyone on the team.

[urdadsceilingfan]

Hello!! Here to talk about your amazing reverse portal au :)

I was thinking, your AU showcases the fact that Stanford has never been the most people-forward, that he struggles with getting to know the kids, he makes due! But let’s be honest if Ford was a tarot card he’d probably be the Hermit. Stan & Ford being twins, they fill-out what the other ‘lacks’, and Stan in my mind would get along with the kids almost immediately just due to being more people-forward.

He’d understand Soos & Wendy much quicker than even Ford did when he Hired them, he would catch on to Dippers insecurities of masculinity & found himself sitting at a tea party set with Waddles and Mabel - telling Mabel that hey, she’s a pretty smart kid. He’s not perfect at it, but he would form his place in the fold very fast. Regular Gravity Falls Ford came in as the practical-problem-solver, Stan is the emotional-problem-solver.

All to say, I am thinking of ‘The Stanchurian Candidate’ episode and how that would mirror this AU. I personally like the idea of Ford becoming insecure in a different way, that he sees in the interactions his brother is having as proof that things went the wrong way.

He sees that if it were reversed that Stan, albeit rough around the edges, would’ve gotten along with the twins & shack employees better/faster, that he would’ve Actively Tried to get Ford back, despite it all. Because that’s just who his brother is. It hurts Ford to see Stan interact with Dipper in a way Stan used to interact with Him as a child, and it hurts Ford to see Stan actually Get Mabel. He is so happy his brother is back but the relief reminds him of what has been absent.

And of course Stan doesn’t see it and wouldn’t accept it, his own self esteem is low and he hates to see Ford so hard on himself. But I feel like Ford would yell something along the lines of, ‘Can’t you see? You’re already their go-to, and you haven’t even been here a month! You have made more progress with them all in a week than I have this whole summer!’

I’d love to hear your thoughts! Thanks for reading my very long rambles, all the best xx !!

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAD IN MIND!!

Stanford would definitely be a bit jealous over Stan’s instant bonding skills and even more upset when Stan denies it

Ford would plan a day out for all of them but it goes out the window when his brother finds something better to do with the kids also agreeing , he starts feeling self-conscious about being the “boring” twin Ford gets upset and immediately defensive whenever Stan ask what’s wrong

He knew Stan would get along with the kids from the start but it doesn’t stop him from feeling like he’s losing a nonexistent battle against him. Its even worse knowing he had no right to be upset when he put his twin through so much

[httpserb]

okay so while i work on chapter 2 (I'm so sorry its late I'm a highschool senior with 4 ap classes, 2 gifted classes, and insomnia. I'm trying my best i swear) I'm going to give out some content and stuff like things to expect in the fic this is friendships/relationships that will kage will experience with small explanations :D (these are out of order)

lev & kage - ok so I plan on having miwa and alisa get together so i find it funny if they were awkward but lev immediately attaches to kage and they're like brothers

akaashi & kage & kenma - ok so they're all introverted and i know kenma and akaashi are cool but like i can see akaashi realize kage is mean or angry just really awkward and weird at times so he recommends him to join his and kenma's game nights and one Minecraft world later they're all attached at the hip

atsumu & osamu & kage - originally i think atsu and kage have a rivalry and mutual respect for each other until atsu realizes samu and kage are good friends (bc kage is always eating samu's curry rice balls, he has become samu unofficial food tester lol) and atsu is obvi trying to be the better twin so they end up getting closer at setters like a more equal standing unlike oikawa & kage or suag & kage who were mentors (in a way looking at you sideways oikawa bc your teaching methods were ... interesting [don't misintterupt this i love oikawa])

ushijima & kage - ok so they're both autistic, you'd have to rip that headcannon out my dead cold hands, and i can see ushijima watching kage and realizing 'oh he is like me' and they just connect like bluetooth

kyotani & kage - i actually love them bc they're both similar to me (i also find oikawa and kyotani's relationship interesting as he is in personality and raw talent and skill similar to kage and ik oikawa felt threatened cb kage was a setter but him moving along with you after the kitagawa incident is very interesting tbh) anyways i imagine they'd accidently connect like at the same gym and bond by shitting on oikawa (i imagine he'd want to hit some of kage's kingly tosses too)

yachi & kage - wlw & mlm solidarity, i love them sm, yachi realizing after seeing kage awkwardly attempt to pet a cat that he is really cute but in a sibling or little kid way so she can no longer find him scary but gets protective and explains social situations for him when he doesn't understand

coach ukai & kage - i imagine while coach takeda was hinata's coach, coach ukai was kage's bc he was blunt in a way kage understood and no extra words for needed, plus i like to think they were both very honest which each other so if ukai said kage was messing up he'd be upset but believe him and take a break

kage & tsuki - so i stand by the fact kage is smart but in odd strangely specific ways like physics but not general science and math and tsuki finds out and loses his shit bc kage is lowkey better than him but doesn't do anything with this, this kinda begins their actual friendship tho bc kage gets to talk about physics (esp astrophysic his favorite bc his dad's job [a personal headcannon])

kogane & kage - kogane worshipping the ground kage walks on bc he is such a good setter and kage trying to help teach kogane but he isn't good with words but despite this kogane understands him somehow!?

kuroo & kage - i think kuroo would recognize kage as someone similar to kenma but not only that but as hinata's best friend and as kenma's best friend who is friends with hinata he'd do some mental math to become kage's friend. plus i think he'd (like tsuki) recognize kage is dumb, but smart in different ways and try to draw it out of him (he also finds it funny to adopt/befriend all the karasuno first years [he has plans for yachi & yama])

tendou & kage - took one look and thought him and ushijima are of the same breed so he could befriend him (probably) but other than that i think tendou being seen as scary or freakish, even being referred to as a monster could relate to kage and his king od the court incident so maybe they'd bond through that ok that is all i can think of rn and if a friendship isn't on here it's because it probably something I'm already going to do. this list was mostly headcannon or me taking a small relationship, blowing it up, then putting it under a microscope for personal enjoyment

(here is some food: @youwerethedefeated @infinitemilk @ushouldwatchhaikyuu @kagehiner @cosmorom @greynoceur)

[warning-heckboop]

Omg hi! I absolutely LOVE your changeling au I have been intrigued ever since I saw it! Tbh I find it very interesting that you went with the direction of Peri just not liking Dev at the moment. Most people write him forgiving Dev after talking about how they both could have communicated better, but it's really interesting seeing Peri just upset at Dev. I both want to say it's justified but also want to punch him lol. Anyway! I do have a question. Since Dev got his memories wiped would it be possible for him to be given them back now that he's transforming? If it's possible it seems like it would be the smart thing to do since he's gonna learn about faries again anyway and at least with his memories back he'll understand a bit more what's happening and trust everyone to help him. Him and Peri could even have that make up talk. Just a thought sorry for the long ask lol

Apologies for the late reply. I got this ask before the other asks in which I was rambling about Peri's character, but I just kind of got off on a tangent with that.

I'm so glad you enjoy the au!! As for your question, it's definitely something I've been thinking about. I definitely think it's possible for Dev to get his memories back, since we've already seen a child with wiped memories get them back before in the original series, iirc. What's been up for debate in my mind is regarding who would want him to get them back right away, and who wouldn't.

It might seem like a no brainer that everyone would just want him to remember right away, because that would help avoid the additional distress of Dev having to focus on relearning all about fairies while also already going through all these physical changes. But what makes me hesitate is what I've mentioned before about how, at least in the eyes of the Fairy Council, Dev is supposed to be living a relatively happy childhood to make up for his father's. Giving Dev his memories back means giving him back the knowledge that he caused so much pain and chaos, and almost killed multiple people, including some of the only people whose ever actually cared for him. It's not exactly the kind of knowledge most people can be happy living with.

So I'm leaning towards it being the case that, while Jorgen could easily restore Dev's memories, he's been instructed absolutely not to, at least for the time being, by the Fairy Council in order to maintain the possibility that Dev could still be a happy, normal child again once he's made it through the hell that is precocious magic puberty.

That's not to say, of course, that Dev might not manage to start remembering things on his own, with all that unstable magic coursing through his veins, and being around Peri through a majority of this process.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 15

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

It's chapter 15! Time to figure out what happened to SQQ in the latest cliff hangar.

Today no tea- but I did have a blackberry cider that was very tasty.

I also did impulse buy a baby's-first-fountain pen to get into my little writing flow and add to the ambiance of my note taking journey. So, pls ignore the worse-than-usual writing; I am learning to write with it.

let's goooooo!

Well, SQQ appears to be in a coffin? p29

fuck, i'm already smudging the ink with my new pen. The lefty curse of it all. IDK how much of this is going to be legible later. RIP

okay... but how long has he been in here? MXTX is describing everything as dusty as hell. p30 (resolved as I read further- not very long LOL)

and he has his original body! That's exciting! Who did it though?? p30

LOL SQQ has 0 chance with this "advanced level plot" p31. He is totally fucked for sure.

These 'blind corpses' sound like a walking horror show. I would be so scared omg. I don't know how far the animated series got- but if this is animated that would look cool as fuck. p32

okay! they're fueled by breath! that's really neat though! pp33-34 Scary, but cool.

I would die immediately in this situation. When the thing (blind corpses) that are already horrible and unbeatable are scared of something else -> absolutely no hope in surviving. p35

ah, it is our little snake-man. I had a suspicion this was related to him and Luo Binghe's dad. He probably took SQQ's corpse too and brought it here. p35

OMG LOL Luo Binghe's dad is awful, but also feels like a troll AND is serving dad jokes. Re: thinking back to when SQQ knocked on the coffin and he answered from inside LOOOL. p36

Listen. Can we just take a moment to appreciate the absolute DILF that is Luo Binghe's father? I am a whole lesbian but that character art cannot objectively argued as anything else. p37

and now SQQ is going on about Tianlang-jun having BDE (not those exact words but I mean when you say he's working that coffin like it's a Paris fashion week runway and Luo binghe - the man you are obsessed with- could NEVER, it says something.). p38

That fucking power move too! SQQ: seems you've waited a while to meet me, why don't you come out of there and do so. Tianlang-jun: *bats eyes* okay but only if you hold my hand and work for it p39

SQQ has this habit of getting kidnapped "for his own good" but no one ever tells him why it's good for him XD this entire situation is so annoying. Tianlang-jun did this all so that he could get him away from the sects he wanted to destroy. p43

OMG scratch that. He also wants to use him as bait to snatch his sons body as his own. p45.

aside: I'm going to have to organize these notes later- I'm not catching the nuance in the hand written notes LOL my brain is processing faster than my hand (you will notice that the last 2 points here do not match my hand written notes because they were a hot mess).

What an entrance Luo Binghe! p47

Yes SQQ! You rescue your man from his dad (RE: holding Zhuzhi lang hostage) p51

holy shit. Zhuzhi lang is WILD - he really was about to just die instead of be a hostage LOL p52 I want to know what his character motivation is. He's giving the same blind trust energy as The Core Melting Hand in MDZS. Both just so loyal to a fault/their own demise. Do we learn more? or is this it? (genuine question- don't tell me WHAT we learn, just yes/no if we learn more).

That was so smart to hit the anti-theft measures in the tomb p53

aaaaaaaand he snatched the wrong person on the escape. well, that's fantastic. p54

I am loving the traps in this mausoleum though! The face with the magma and then the various rooms. I want to know if this exists as a D&D dungeon crawl/anyone has made one, I think it would be so fun. p59

omg. I don't think that Luo Binghe realizes/knows that that was his own father and cousin. that's so terrible. Truly Luo Binghe was treated so fucking badly literally his entire life. His dad does not even give a shit. Honestly probably only had him for this situation - needing a new body. p61

:((((( Our boy, Luo Binghe is in a bad way rn. gah! so many cliff hangers. p63

MXTX Cliffhangar Lord

And now I have to wait until tomorrow to see if baby Luo Binghe makes it. I'm sure SQQ is going to do something about it but dang, he is not well.

[occasionallyprosie]

"Hiding Behind Plaster and Ceremics"

Chapter 3

Wind reveals something. This marks the beginning of something new.

<<Previous

Read On AO3

Finally actually just ending this one, I've had this chapter drafted so long I feel bad not posting it but I really don't think there's much more to be added to this fic.

----

Legend really didn't like the new status quo. Twilight was very defensive of him, which he was on the fence about to be honest, and Warriors just kept giving him weird looks. Contrast that with the fact he couldn't get any space because Hyrule and Sky were trying hard to get close and he'd promised Twilight he'd try not to be as mean.

Which really just meant he couldn't force the others to just leave him alone. Even after he got over the sickness, they stuck close and he could feel his nerves turn to fire as he couldn't get time to himself.

He was biting down on his tongue, trying desperately to avoid them without breaking his promise to Twilight. Now, not only was he trying to avoid getting attached, he was also just trying to not snap as every nerve, every coil, every spring prepared to get set off because everything was just too close.

They were just starting to make camp when Wind chose his chore for it.

"I'm going on patrol!" He declared.

"Fine, but take someone with you," Warriors reminded him, the usual rule for leaving the larger group.

"Come on, Scholar!"

Legend startled as Wind grabbed his sleeve--not his arm, his sleeve--and dragged him off. He quickly pulled himself free but meeting Wind's eyes--Ocean's eyes, bright and expectant and far too smart--meant he was following him.

Wind happily moved across the rainforest floor, seemingly accustomed to brushing aside underbrush as tall as they were.

Legend decided not to ask why and just followed, letting a distance form between them and letting himself just... relax in the silence and space.

They did a number of expanding loops around the chosen campsite, only coming across some tektites at a nearby river and some Deku Babas here and there. As they turned to go back, having been silent the entire time, Wind spoke up.

"You need more time?" He asked, facing him with an overly knowing expression.

Legend frowned. "What?"

"More time alone and away from everyone?" He clarified, a wry smirk tugging at his lips. "Don’t tell me our ever-aware spitfire didn't notice I dragged him off so he wouldn't explode on everyone."

Spitfire. He'd been called that before by exactly one person, the kid in front of him. Not that he'd say it first.

"Oh," he responded, definitely with the eloquence of the scholar he was nicknamed for. "Why?"

Wind laughed. "Please, I could tell you were getting antsy, I just didn't want to find out if you getting overwhelmed by people is the same now as it was in Hytopia."

Legend stopped in his tracks, Wind noticed immediately and looked at him, a wryness in his eyes.

"You--"

"You think I couldn't recognize you?" Wind scoffed, as if insulted. "I recognized you when we met, but, well, you never said anything, and then you snapped at everyone and cursed out the Rancher when he tried to scold you for your language 'cause of the Smithy and I." He sighed. "It wasn't until you got sick and--" he grinned a bit, "you were hiding behind the Rancher, and his pelt-cloak thingie made you look so much smaller, that I knew I was right. You just didn't say anything."

Legend stared at him but Wind just smiled brightly.

"Which is okay," he said, still just as warm as when he'd asked if he was ready to head back. "I get things change... I get that you've changed and I can tell that something about all of this scares you--you haven't changed that much, Apple."

Legend grimaced. "I'm not scared."

"Can't be courageous without a bit of fear," Wind retorted with a still-wry grin. "But my point is, I noticed you were getting antsy and needed some time away from everyone. So do you want more time, more space, or what? We probably have another hour before we need to get back."

Legend ended up just backing up into a tree and slumping down to the ground, Wind hummed lightly as he followed and sat in the grass in front of him, a solid three feet of space, if not more, between them.

Silence settled, and if Legend closed his eyes, Wind was somehow so silent that as long as he ignored his magic, he could pretend he was in complete solitude.

They stayed like that for a while until Legend broke the silence. "Why aren't you mad at me?"

Wind made a confused noise. "What'd'ya mean?"

"I mean--For not telling, for not saying anything, why aren't you mad?"

Legend wouldn't admit he probably would've completely shattered if Wind was ever genuinely mad at him, Forest was their big brother, yeah, but it had been Ocean who he'd stared at and tried so desperately to mimic during Hytopia, from the casual singing of work songs to the way he fought. All of that had been Ocean, and even the blue cap he still wore to this day was the one Ocean had given him when they'd separated, sure it had been mended and resewn and altered to fit his larger head, but it was the same cap.

Wind laughed at his question though. "Why would I be? It's been years for you, I don’t think you realize how obvious it is that you've been through a lot, and what's probably only obvious to me is that it all hurt."

Legend opened his eyes and looked over at him, Wind gave him another warm smile.

"It's been years for you," he repeated, "but just over one for me. I think you've forgotten how well I know you, how well I can read you, and how little you've actually changed."

Legend stared at him. "It has been years, I'm not the same kid anymore."

Wind raised an eyebrow. "Well you have all the same tells as you did before."

"I do not."

"Oh yeah?" Wind leaned forward to poke his arm. "Then why did I know you needed to be away from everyone? It's almost as if you've been introverted since the day I met you and Hytopia was constantly getting on your nerves because of it, hmm?"

Legend couldn't help but smile a bit as he huffed and swatted him away. "I wasn't doing a very good job of hiding anything."

"And yet Forest didn't have a clue, the oblivious dumbass. I don’t know how he found out but I'd bet a gold rupee that it wasn't until you called him by his name or something."

Legend snorted. He couldn't even argue because Wind was exactly right!

For the remainder of the hour until Wind's necklace chimed with Wild's voice asking after them, they just talked and Legend didn't realize until that evening, just after dinner, that he hadn't even thought about his fear, about what was to come.

He'd reconnected with Ocean, he hadn't even thought twice about it either, which made it worse. He'd just forgotten exactly why he had been spending this whole quest sharpening his edges.

He'd forgotten that it was useless to reach out for them, as they were just going to be ripped away.

And as much as it hurt... he couldn't bring himself to regret it. Not when Wind joined him in his corner of the campsite and just laid down beside him, not chatting his head off, but quietly humming.

His heart felt softer, lighter, but even if he couldn't bring himself to regret it now, bringing his ocarina to his lips and putting a ringing tune to Wind's hums, he knew in his mind that it wouldn't last.

The quest would end and he'd be all alone again, whether or not it would be his breaking point was a different question, he thought Marin had been the breaking point but he still hadn't reached it even after her and then Ravio. What would he do then?

He didn’t know, but he’d have to concede here, wouldn’t he? He wouldn’t be able to fend off both his brothers, which meant… well, it meant he was done. It meant this was the beginning of a new chapter, at least with some of the other heroes. It meant he couldn’t keep running, and once this was over, the pitfalls of grief would catch up to him… but he couldn’t stop it, and he had to just accept that.

[howtotrainabraincell]

I was curious if you had any head canons pertaining to Malik Al-Sayf and him as a person? Let's forget that he is an assassin for a second and focus on him as an individual. Like is he comfortable with the loss of his left arm or is he embarrassed by it? What sparked his interest in maps and making them? Why was he so close with Kadar his baby brother? The more humanizing elements.

INDEED, I DO HAVE HEADCANNONS ABOUT THE DAI OF JERUSALEM! Ahem... But fr tho I do have a lot of head cannons about Malik as a person.

I don't know why...but he gives major "I'm abusive and angry toward the idiot novice but I'm actually really sweet" vibes. I think he's a total sweetie bear behind constantly humbling Altair lol

I think we ALL know that Altair's redemption arc wouldn't have been the same without Malik's verbal bashings and occasional scroll throwing.

About the loss of his left arm...

He was angry at first. Very angry. He had plans of how he wanted to help the Brotherhood and further their cause he so believes in, and then suddenly it was all taken away. He was told that he could no longer be in the field lest he be unnecessarily slain and then sent to Jerusalem. (This winds up fueling his spite and he became obsessed with mastering one armed swordsmanship...to the point where he could put two armed Altair on his ass lol)

Now he did go of his own free will, but he knew they put him in charge to soothe any battered ego he had. The man felt that it was a form of pity and emotional smothering. He had felt that Al Mualim had "requested" him to depart from Masyaf as a way to keep him from killing Altair... because he wanted to. He had felt...betrayed by what he believed in after it took so much from him and then it just swept him to the side like an old sandal. But being away and trying to focus on his responsibilities helped. Being alone also gave him time to cool down from his anger and focus on mourning his baby brother which he needed a lot of time to do.

He's not necessarily embarrassed by losing his arm, but he does feel inconvenienced by it from time to time. Forgetting that he no longer has a left hand to multitask and reach for things with. He was mad when he discovered that he couldn't carry as many books as he used to be able to, but he's smart so he found ways to get by (one of them including making a certain novice carry them lest he refuse and get bonked on his hooded coconut)

Malik can handle himself and you just KNOW that he mastered his f- you glare by giving the death stare to anyone who looked for too long ahaha. He does not appreciate staring AT ALL. He has eyes to make eye contact with hello. He also gets tired of explaining his sudden missing limb and of people expressing sympathy at the beginning because it just refreshes everything - plus he's Malik Al-Sayf OKAY he doesn't need BOTH ARMS to be a BADASSARINO.

He also feels vulnerable from time to time, and he doesn't like that one bit. He already lives a high alert lifestyle so losing his arm put him on peak "don't touch me or I won't hesitate" mode. The vulnerability wore on him for a while but eventually he became confident enough in his skills to protect himself again and his love helped too.

Though in a way he does appreciate the new awareness that losing his arm has brought him. It made him more reactions quicker and he became more responsive - such as a catching a falling book in the blink of an eye or blocking the cat from bapping his quill in the inkwell and knocking it over lol. (He has a cat in there with him and you CAN'T TELL ME OTHERWISE)

As for his interest in maps and making them...

We know that Malik was jealous of the way that Altair from a young age was "the favorite" of Al Mualim - so we can assume that he does in fact feel jealousy and it affects him on different levels. Whether it consists of the manifestation of saltiness toward the one he's jealous of, or it results in him learning a new skill. SO -

Malik was jealous of the eagles. Yes, the bird. He was always jealous of how they could fly so high up into the sky and see everything, everywhere, far and wide from multiple angles, and it made him wonder if such a thing was possible for him. When he could, he loved climbing up to high places - not to perform the Leap of Faith - to see the view from above. He loved it. And it made him think about other ways he could see everything from different perspectives.

Then he discovered Cartography. Needless to say, he was ecstatic lol. Map making for him was the perfect way to achieve what he wanted. He could have an Eagle Eye view of a large area from multiple perspectives and see everything just like he wanted. He could even make multiple versions of it from different angles! He could make a map of Masyaf from his POV in the mountains OR from the top of the Bureau.

I also think that him being so into cartography is a bit of a traumatic response. If he has a map and he knows the place intimately or can study it to see what it holds, he feels better about sending someone there or going himself. He didn't know what the Temple of Solomon held that day...and if he had he would have made Kadar stay home.

I even have a head cannon that Malik makes multiple versions of maps not just from different perspectives and to have backup copies, but to troll people haha. You telling me that this man wouldn't make a fake as hell map to fool Templars in case they stole them? I just KNOW he gave Altair multiple maps and told him to keep the true one on his person so if the enemy was successful in snatching the maps they'd get BAMBOOZLED ACK-

Finally, you wanted to know why I think he was so close with his baby brother Kadar...

I believe that he was so close with his baby brother Kadar because he's a family man, he's loyal, and he loves hard. They didn't really have their parents growing up so more oft than not he felt alone in the world. But no matter how alone he felt Kadar was always there for him, whether it was annoying him, joking with him, or just sitting with him. He fell into the role of big brother easily and got used to being the protective provider. Without Kadar he no longer had someone to care and look out for and Malik didn't know what to do with himself besides bury himself in his work.

It felt like a knife to heart when he lost the only family he had ever truly had because he knew that the Brotherhood was merely a figment of family - not the true family that he wanted. He had always dreamed of Kadar and him having their own families and bringing them both together to be one big happy family. But when Kadar was killed the reality of that dream never coming true...hit him hard.

Malik was also incredibly angry by the slaughtering of his brother Kadar because he was so young. He had so much potential and so much life to live - and it was taken like it had never even existed. He had imagined teasing Kadar about falling in love when the time came, the pride he would feel watching his baby brother one day become a Master Assassin as he had always dreamed of, the happiness he would feel on behalf of his little brother when he became a father. He had imagined what it would've been like to grow old and have Kadar crack jokes about aching bones and greying hair. Malik had imagined watching his little brother grow up the same way parents would anticipate watching their child grow.

Now, for the rest of his life he'll be tortured by "what ifs" and possibilities that will never happen. Malik felt robbed of the one true gift he had ever received in his life - especially as most people in his position don't get what he had. Family.

[bibururokku]

So my brother, who I should mention is a child less than half my current age, also likes Blue Lock and randomly told me if a certain character were real, I'd make a good couple with them. I thought it was funny, so I jokingly asked who he'd like as a brother-in-law if that were the case, but the kid took it very seriously and ended up listing SEVERAL boys WITH reasoning.

However, after he was done, he gave it some extra thought and went, "But I don't think you'd like them that much..." so he made a SEPARATE list of boys who he thought would be a good husband for me, and that basically killed me inside. I didn't want to laugh in his face and make him feel bad, so I held it in, but the genuine thought he put behind his lists broke me internally.

He's so sweet, but sometimes I wonder what goes on inside that little head of his. Anyway, at some point, I started to take notes as he made his lists, so I'll put his lists and the gist of what he said UTC just because I think it's cute, but also, bro...???

List of his ideal in-law(s) 1. Bachira Meguru → He has a lot of energy, slick moves on the field, and can fight. So basically, if Bachira were his brother-in-law, they could play and run around everywhere together. Plus, he can teach him a few tricks and moves himself and how to throw hands if needed. The fact that Bachira is, if not one of, his absolute favorites in the series is an added bonus. 2. Nagi Seishiro → He's chill and feels familiar because he thinks he is similar to me, as he believes I'm a low-energy, game-loving genius. He also thinks Nagi would just give him the answer if asked to help with homework because it's a hassle to explain, and he wants that and for him to carry him in a game. Plus, his godly control over the ball when playing football/soccer is really cool. 3. Michael Kaiser → He's technically famous as one of the New Generation XI, which means he could flex to his friends. Also, he was very impressed by his ability to take down police officers with the football/soccer ball and thinks he could teach him how to do that to other people, as his in-law. 4. Isagi Yoichi → He's really nice and smart, so he can generally rely on him for things, as long as it has nothing to do with playing or practicing football/soccer with him. Isagi also matched Bachira's energy, which led him to believe that he could also pretty much play with him all day long as well. 5. Mikage Reo → He's rich and has a tendency to pamper the people he is fond of. Basically, if I were married to Reo and we were to visit my family as a couple, he'd get pretty much anything he wanted, as Reo seems to be the type of person who would give his in-laws a whole bunch of gifts when visiting.

List of who he thinks would be a good husband for me 1. Michael Kaiser → He's a famous athlete who is good at what he does, which means stability and security. Plus, he can fight and thus protect me. According to him, Kaiser's past traumas and current issues wouldn't be a problem because he thinks I could handle it and even help or support him in dealing with some of it. 2. Chigiri Hyoma → He's a sassy princess, and I, too, am sassy. Therefore, he believes we would get along as a couple. Plus, he's into people who are calm and understanding, and that's what my brother thinks of me, especially when I'm angry since I don't yell and just ask for logical explanations to understand. 3. Itoshi Sae → He makes me laugh a lot, leading him to believe we'd get along as I'd be unphased by his aloofness and would likely enjoy the freedom that somewhat cold nature would bring. He's also good at his job, so we'd have a stable and secure life. Plus, I'd probably make up for what he did to Rin (💀). 4. Karasu Tabito → He also makes me laugh a lot, so he thinks he would humor me. Also, he thinks I also fit Karasu's type since he thinks I'm strong, smart, and have a good voice. Additionally, I could make up for Karasu's inability to be nice to mediocre people, as I am generally nice and polite even if I hate someone. 5. Nagi Seishiro → He's similar to me, so naturally, that means we'd get along and be a decent and "hassle-free" couple. Especially since he's very chill, he's likely to just go along with whatever I wanted and give me the freedom to do as I please. Bonus Yukimiya Kenyu → He was joking, but he brought him up because we both have poor eyesight LMAO.

[shepscapades]

Hey! i’m really into the dbch story and i was wondering if doc and xisuma ever tell bdubs the specifics of why etho lost his memories, cause if they do that is prime self blaming angst for bdubs

I’m inclined to believe they don’t. Actually (and maybe I should do a small comic for this so more people see it) I imagine, once a month or a few pass and they finally return etho to bdubs as reset, I imagine they are VERY serious about warning bdubs not to try to force Etho to re-deviate— they don’t go into specifics, but they probably tell bdubs that whatever happened had to do with something that was emotionally overwhelming, and that forcing him to redeviate/not letting it happen naturally could trigger the same error. They have no idea what could happen so bdubs needs to be very careful and let Etho find himself again on his own.

Whether or not bdubs gets impatient or can only go so long before he doubts it would be that bad if he tried pushing Etho in the right direction is another story.

But yeah. I don’t think Xisuma or Doc really… tell anyone that this happened. Etho’s error seemed like a very specific one-off scenario, so it’s not something the other hermits should be trying to avoid or be careful about happening to their own android friends, and the only thing telling people would do is make them worried about the situation. All they need to know is that etho was broken and that they need to be careful with him. I don’t agree with their decision to keep what happened to themselves but I understand it I think. Xisuma “i don’t want to worry the hermits” Void and Docm “eh this isn’t the first time I’ve replaced this arm, people won’t question it” 77

[timeisacephalopod]

The type of Christian who asks atheists how they don't like, murder people on the reg are so funny to me because they seem to think their religion makes them the Peak of Morality when statements like "if you don't believe in God how comes you don't do X thing" all but outright state they have no idea why shit like murder and rape is bad except that God doesn't like it lmao. Like way to admit you have no intrinsic sense of morality and need to be afraid of a higher power to be a decent person, but I promise if you're not a piece of shit it's actually very natural not to want to do heinous evil shit all the time potential punishment from a higher power or not 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[reuptakeinhibitor]

i love stobin working retail jobs and sharing a resume so much but consider this. steve follows robin to bloomington, indianapolis, west lafayette, wherever she decides to go and they get a little apartment. maybe they decide to go out of state but i think they stay in the midwest. then st takes a page from buffy and steve works construction while robin goes to school.

[omppupiiras]

i'm guessing at this rate it's not going to take long for jere to reach his goal of becoming a millionaire 🤪🤑 ok it's such a stupid amount of money that i have no clue how difficult it would be to achieve, but babygirl must well and truly be on her way once the money from his OF and airbnb start rolling in 😎

Jo sillon päätin, еttä käärin itteni miljonääriks (hei) Back in the days, jo sillon päätin, еttä hillot käärin ku miljonääri (hei) Milli-milli-milli-miljonääri, milli-milli-milli-miljonääri

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

If youre ok w sharing then i would love to hear your thoughts on lotor........ Hes such a weird guy. Dissecting him like a frog

If i get hate for this, i am blaming you/j but in all honesty i apologize if this kinda messy, as i have said it has beem awhile since i saw any of the episodes about him. Most of it is my personal interpretation and opinions of his character-

First of all i personally hate both "L0tor is evil rapist imperialist who did not have a single redeemable quality" and "L0tor is uwu poor baby who did nothing wrong", because yeah he had good intentions and he seemed to genuinely love Alura and care for Alteans but also he very much did do a lot of things Wrong. I am pretty sure a lot of his actions fall into category of Very Wrong

Lot0r to me is an absolute control freak, he has to be 10 steps ahead of everyone, he needs to be control of the situation no matter what. Whether it be through a silver tongue or by his blade (see N@rti's death, him vs White Lion). This is as much as a ruthless strategy as it is a trauma response. Being raised under Z@rkon, a father who only saw him as inferior half-bred, he had to learn survivor tactics. He will do anything to survive whether it be beg, lie, manipulate, and kill. He is a survivor of some genuinely godawful abuse he suffered for 10,000 years, combined with racism he suffered for being half altean

However this need to be in control extends to his allies and people he cares about. I am sure Lotor may have loved Alura, it doesnt change the fact that he very much abused her trust. Their entire relationship was based on a lie. He knew Alteans were still alive and not only did he not tell Alura about it he leaned into the "last survivors of Altea" for their relationship, which is why it was doomed since the beginning. And if it had not been this, then it would have been something else. Cause lying and manipulation are very much core of his character, that is how we are introduced to him

Like i see people going "Oh Lot0r could have been good if he had therapy and a hug", and i am not really not sure about it, cause like would he? Would he choose to be vulnerable and actually let his feelings out and be truthful in a an unbiased reliable way that will neither serve him in any way nor make him look better nor is a part of some machivilian scheme he cooked up because he doesnt trust the therapist he is paying? No

And thing is he does desire connection. He looks for connection in people who are similar to him. Half galran, altean survivors, Alura these are the people who he chose to get close to. He looks for similarities, people he can relate to, people who he sees as like him, people who he thinks can give him a sense of belonging. He is deeply lonely. However his desperation for control, absolute mistrust in anyone and everyone, and his inability to be actually honest dooms any relationship he'll ever have

Also this is probably just me, but for someone who is this morally complex character he has tendency to see things in black and white? Like it is His dad and empire= bad, alteans=good. He idolizes Altea to the point of seeing it as an Utopia, and this ideal was more important to him than any Alteans who are alive and with him. I also cant remember him ever caring about someone outside of the Dichotomy. Like at most i remember is after he became the emperor Lance pointing out how other planets need to be freed and he just brushed it off

Overall he gives me the "smart people dont always make good decisions, but they are good at justifying their bad ones" vibes. We dont know exactly why he decided to use alteans as batteries but i am choosing to go with my interpretation- "Lottor saw something fucked up in that future showing space whale thingy, decided the only way to solve was altean batteries except in true self fulfilling prophecy greek tragedy way it only made things worse and started a series of event that will cause the thing he saw causing real trouble a few years after his death.

Another thing! I think it should have been him being the focus of Evil Altean episode instead of A//ura. I hate that episode and everything it stands for but like if there Had to be an evil alteans episode then it should be around someone who is you know? Obsessed with Altean culture? Is big on control and manipulation? Is more geared towards big picture and "greater good" over individual? Is worried about turning into just like his galran father and so desperately wants to connect to his idealized version of his altean mother? Yeah