#these are people to avoid because typically they also come with the issue of using their religion to make any action they want

[timeisacephalopod]

The type of Christian who asks atheists how they don't like, murder people on the reg are so funny to me because they seem to think their religion makes them the Peak of Morality when statements like "if you don't believe in God how comes you don't do X thing" all but outright state they have no idea why shit like murder and rape is bad except that God doesn't like it lmao. Like way to admit you have no intrinsic sense of morality and need to be afraid of a higher power to be a decent person, but I promise if you're not a piece of shit it's actually very natural not to want to do heinous evil shit all the time potential punishment from a higher power or not 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[kaijutegu]

Beating the Heat while Fat: A Summer Survival Guide

Summer is (almost) here and it’s going to be hotter than ever. If you’re fat (like me), you know how much hot weather sucks. Specifically, we get to deal with fun issues like underboob sweat, chub rub, skin fold sunburn, and more. And while I like to take a body neutral approach to everything, this can be hard in summer thanks to exclusion and neglect.

The thing is that not a lot of people really... talk about these things, though, because that would interfere with our image of summer. Not a lot of companies are marketing their stuff as a solution to fat people’s problems, because that would be acknowledging that fat people might actually want to go outside during summer.

Having been fat for many a summer now, I want to share some of my resources for enjoying summer! These are all based on personal recommendations and things I have directly experienced. Please feel free to reblog and add on with your experiences and recommendations!

However, if your commentary is even remotely fatphobic, you will be blocked and your comments will be deleted. This post is not for you, and nobody is actually interested in what you have to say!

Back and Underboob Sweat

Two words: Gold Bond. Gold Bond fixes this. It comes in powder, stick, and spray form. I’ve used the powder in shoes, but not on my body. They’ve recently released an invisible form of the spray, which I’m very excited about.

Spray this under your breast tissue or other skin folds, or on flat areas of skin like your lower back that tend to sweat. Some of their powders have aloe in them, which is delightfully soothing for the skin.

Make sure that if you’re sensitive to scent, you buy one of the unscented versions. The “fresh” scent is nice, but it is a scent!

When you’re using this type of spray, do it clean but dry. Don’t do it right after a shower- give your skin a chance to dry off. Lift your breast or skin fold, spray underneath, and then hold it for a couple of seconds to let the spray dry down.

You can also use other types of powder, like body powder or baby powder. There’s mixed evidence about talc-containing powder and its link to cancer, but some people do find talcum powder more irritating than talc-free powder, so whether or not you use this is up to you.

Do keep in mind that this is NOT sunscreen! Apply your sunscreen first for areas of exposed skin.

Chub Rub

Dealing with the tops of your thighs rubbing together is extremely unfun. There are a couple of ways I like to deal with this!

Slip Shorts

I actually reviewed a bunch of these a few years ago. Slip shorts or bike shorts are perfect for wearing under dresses or loose-fitting rompers as a way to stop your thighs from rubbing. As a bonus, if you’re using bike shorts, sometimes they come with extra pockets to stash stuff in.

Friction Sticks

If you’re wearing a swimsuit and don’t want to wear shorts, or just don’t want to wear shorts, period, then a friction stick is another good way to avoid chub rub! I have a couple, Bodyglide and Gold Bond.

If you’re buying Bodyglide, they have one that’s just as good, Bodyglide Outdoor, that is sometimes cheaper. There’s a Bodyglide “For Her” which I’ve never tried, but that’s usually more expensive and let’s be real, do you really need to moisturize your inner thighs? I think not!

There’s also creams you can use but I find those messy and less effective than the sticks. You might like them, though! Experiment with products to find the one(s) that work for you.

Friction sticks can also stop foot blisters. Rub a little on your heel, toe, or wherever you get hot spots. 

Dealing With Sweat

I sweat, you sweat, we all sweat. Humans were meant to sweat. Sweating’s a good thing. But that doesn’t mean it’s fun, and frankly I hate being sweaty. Typically, fat people sweat more than thin people, for several reasons related to the way we thermoregulate.

Fortunately, there are lots of ways to make summer sweating less annoying. I’ve written about this before, so you can check out that post for some of my favorite tips for dealing with sweat. Here’s some of the highlights.

Evaporative Cooling

A bandanna or other wrap filled with water crystals can do AMAZING things. You can make this yourself really easily- if you can’t find water crystals, you can just use Orbeez. They sell little 99 cent packs of those in the checkout lines at some stores and at the dollar store, and you can make several cooling wraps with one packet.

You can also get evaporative cooling towels, like Frogg Toggs. I don’t like those as much because they tend to start smelling a little funny, but they’re great for larger area coverage.

Using these will help cool you down and will do the same thing that sweat does– without being sticky.

Hair

If you have long hair, get it off the back of your neck. I used to put it up in a bun with a bun former, but now I just use claw clips. They’re cuter and easier! Seriously, this will help you so much. Get the hair up and away from your skin, you’ll feel so much better.

Hand Fans

I always have a hand fan with me, but not one of the little battery operated ones. I’ve tried a lot of those! I even took one up a mountain once, and it was the only reason I survived. But they never provide the same level of breeze that my folding fan does.

I use this one because it’s cute, and you can get cute ones for a couple bucks on Amazon. I do prefer fabric to the stiff paper ones, just because they’re a bit more durable- I’ve had mine for years now. It’s good.

I’m also not a huge fan of those fans that go around your neck, but I’ve seen many people enjoying them. If they work for you, great!

Hydration and Electrolytes

Carry water with you when you go places, and if you’re gonna be out for a while doing anything strenuous, take some electrolyte tablets with you. I like Nuun because I think they taste good, but there’s lots of brands out there.

There’s no one mineral called electrolyte, just so you know. Electrolytes are a group of minerals that includes sodium, potassium, and chloride as the primary (or significant) electrolytes. Electrolytes are important because they have a natural positive or negative electrical charge when dissolved in water. This electricity is how your nerves transmit information and how your cells make your muscles contract, so low levels of electrolytes can cause some serious issues. Different electrolyte imbalances have different symptoms, but common symptoms include nausea, fatigue, confusion, tremors, muscle spasms (cramps), and dizziness.

If you’re feeling those as you’re moving around outside, get somewhere cool, drink some water, and either eat some food or add electrolyte tablets to your water. This will help stabilize you quickly!

Skin Fold Sunburn Prevention

Everybody should wear sunscreen, period. End of story.

But if you’re applying sunscreen by yourself and you have skin folds, it can be a pain to reach them! This is especially true for any folds that form on your upper back or around your upper arm.

These areas can burn and be very painful, especially if you’re in swimwear or a sleeveless top. It’s also VERY easy to forget that these areas need sunscreen!

If you don’t want or don’t have someone to help you apply those areas you can’t reach, spray sunscreen can be a way to get those areas. If you don’t like the spray or want heavier coverage with a cream, then use a lotion applicator!

If the stick style doesn’t work for you (like if you have shoulder mobility issues), the strap style asks for a different range of motion. If you can’t find one that works for you at a big box store, look at a pharmacy. These are often sold as disability aids or for elderly people with a reduced range of motion.

But honestly, one of the most important things about this is just knowing your body. Know where your skin folds are and think about how they move as you’re applying sunscreen. Get underneath them- as you move, those areas can be exposed to the sun, too.

So yeah, that’s my best advice for beating the heat while fat. If you’ve got other tips, feel free to share them!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for calling my boyfriend babygirl

let me clarify upfront: my boyfriend has never expressed discomfort with this, and says he likes it, so it’s potentially a non-issue, but it’s still bugging me. this has been ongoing for a little over a month and i feel like i’m going nuts. forgive me if any of the language i use here isn’t correct, i don’t know how else to get the ideas across - feel free to correct me if i could be saying things more inclusively. sorry that this is rambly also. small nsfw warning (nothing too explicit)

i (22m) have been dating my boyfriend (19ftm) for a little over a year. i’m cis and he is trans. admittedly i’m not like… the most well versed in trans issues but i love him more than life itself so i really try to be respectful of him. he was bullied pretty severely in highschool, not just for being trans but his gender identity was no small part of it, and even though he’s not super dysphoric day to day he’s definitely got some boundaries about it. there are certain compliments he likes and some that upset him (he doesn’t enjoy being called pretty or cute, typically) and he’ll snap at people for referring to him with feminine names or titles like “sis” “girl” etc even if it’s done jokingly.

the thing is he’s rarely, if ever, done that with me? i call him pretty and cute all the time (because he is) and he’s always been fine with it. admittedly the first time i did it i didn’t know it was something that usually bugged him, but he’s never said anything to me about it. everytime i have he’s seemed happy. he’s very outspoken, i pretty firmly believe if it was a problem he’d say something about it - again, he has no issues being firm about this boundary with any of his other friends and family. i was doing this before we started dating, so after we started dating it sort of bled into pet names

again, it was never something i asked him about expressly, but at some point i started calling him, like… princess, babygirl, etc. i only ever do this in private, when its just us or when i’m pretty sure only he can hear me, for a few reasons. my boyfriend doesn’t really pass (entirely his choice. he doesn’t bind his chest and he doesn’t want any gender affirming surgeries or hrt - again, he’s not super dysphoric day to day, he only gets upset when it’s commented on and he can bounce back from it pretty quickly) and again, it seems like it’s always made him happy. at the risk of tmi, it especially seems to make him happy in the bedroom, which is another reason i avoid dropping these pet names in front of anyone else. it’s private and i don’t think it’s anyone else’s business.

so. to put this mildly. we went to a house party together recently and i got super smashed. it was a pretty big party so we were sticking by each other, and when you’re drunk and your partner is there… well, yeah. i was admittedly being pretty handsy. he didn’t tell me to knock it off or anything, he was reciprocating. at some point he started talking to his best friend from highschool (19mtf, i’ll call her Z) so i reigned myself in but i was definitely still drunk and horny and being clingy. i don’t know Z all that well - she and my boyfriend are very close but she can be pretty harsh, and i appreciate all she does for him so i like her, but we never talk unless he’s there. i’ve had maybe one one-on-one conversation with this woman ever.

they’re talking. i’m also there. i’m not trying to rush him but i definitely want to get home. the conversation lulls and i take the chance to ask my boyfriend if he wants to leave soon, and because i am aforementionedly drunk and horny i drop one of those earlier pet names. before he can respond to me, Z snaps at me. she says not to call him that and that i was being a creep - this alarms me and was kind of frustrating since i wasn’t even talking to her, and i recognize i’m not in a headspace to argue? with her? so i just tell my boyfriend to come find me when he wants to leave and i wander outside. he finds me about 5-10 minutes later and we head home.

it doesn’t get brought up again that night but a day or so later i text Z to ask her what she meant by me being a creep, because it was bugging me. she says that it’s obvious i’m fetishizing my boyfriend’s gender identity, that the fact i call him those things brings up major red flags, etc. i tell her that my boyfriend doesn’t have an issue with it. she says it doesn’t matter and asks me why i want to call him those names in the first place, and posits that maybe i don’t actually want to be dating a boy - that i just like the idea of dating a boy and actually want to be with a woman. i’m gay, so this is VERY out of pocket to me. i tell her my boyfriend is not a woman and end the conversation there, but it DOES stick with me. so, very belatedly, i ask my boyfriend what he thinks of all this. i adore him so much and i hate hate hate the idea i could’ve been treating him like that, even unintentionally. he says the pet names never bothered him and he’s never felt like that, and that he’s fine with me specifically doing it because he trusts me and knows i don’t see him as a girl.

so, whatever. she has a problem but me and my boyfriend don’t. i try to move on, but the next time i see her she asks if i’ve apologized/reflected at all. i tell her no, because my boyfriend said i have nothing to apologize for and it seems like a non-issue. she is now avoiding me, refuses to be in the same room as me, and will declare to anyone who asks that she doesn’t want to be near someone who fetishizes trans people and she doesn’t feel safe around me. my boyfriend tries to talk to her but she insists i need to apologize at the bare minimum, but to who? even if i did apologize to my boyfriend i wouldn’t mean it and he wouldn’t want it. Z is his long-time best friend, i can’t exactly go the rest of our relationship just avoiding her. so i have no damn idea where to go from here.

on some level, i worry she’s right? i honestly don’t know why i started calling him those things. i think it started as a joke but i just kept doing it when i noticed he seemed to like it. in hindsight that was maybe shitty of me, but i trust him to tell me when something i do is making him uncomfortable. it’s not like i can do that over, but if he ever told me to stop i would. it’s definitely true that if you saw my boyfriend on the street you’d probably assume he’s a woman, but i’ve never been attracted to anyone who actually identifies as a woman before. i’ve only ever liked men, and no matter what he looks like he is a man. this whole situation did make me think about how i think about him, and i’ve realized that, like… i want to have kids with him one day, and ideally i’d like him to carry them. ideally, but id never make him. if he decided tomorrow that he wanted to medically transition and go the whole nine yards i’d support him. he’s my whole world, i just want him to be happy. but does the fact i want him to carry children prove her right?

i’m just. confused. i feel like i’m running myself in circles. Z knew him in highschool so she was there when bullying over his gender was at his worse, so i get why she’s protective. she’s also trans herself so she undoubtedly understands this stuff better than me. but i’ve heard it’s normal for trans people to have complicated relationships with gender, so it’s normal to be okay with gendered language from some people and not others (like only letting close friends use certain pronouns for you). i figure it’s like that, but it’s not my gender so… i don’t know. should i just stop calling him those pet names altogether, even though i know at this point he enjoys them, to be safe? am i an asshole for calling him those things in the first place / would i be an asshole if i kept doing it?

What are these acronyms?

[cy-cyborg]

Dealing with Healing and Disability in fantasy: Writing Disability

[ID: An image of the main character from Eragon, a white teenage boy with blond hair in silver armour as he sits, with his hand outstretched. On his hand is a glowing blue mark. He is visibly straining as he attempts to heal a large creature in front of him. /End ID]

I'm a massive fan of the fantasy genre, which is why it's so incredibly frustrating when I see so much resistance to adding disability representation to fantasy works. People's go-to reason for leaving us out is usually something to the effect of "But my setting has magic so disability wouldn't exist, it can just be healed!" so let's talk about magic, specifically healing magic, in these settings, and how you can use it without erasing disability from your story.

Ok, let's start with why you would even want to avoid erasing disability from a setting in the first place. I talked about this in a lot more detail in my post on The Miracle Cure. this line of thinking is another version of this trope, but applied to a whole setting (or at least, to the majority of people in the setting) instead of an individual, so it's going to run into the same issues I discussed there. To summarise the points that are relevant to this particular version of the trope though:

Not every disabled person wants or needs a cure - many of us see our disability as a part of our identity. Do difficulties come with being disabled? absolutely! It's literally part of the definition, but for some people in the disabled community, if you took our disabilities away, we would be entirely different people. While it is far from universal, there is a significant number of us who, if given a magical cure with no strings attached, would not take it. Saying no one in your setting would be disabled because these healing spells exists ignores this part of the community.

It messes with the stakes of your story - Just like how resurrecting characters or showing that this is something that is indeed possible in the setting can leave your audience feeling cheated or like they don't have to worry about a character *actually* ever dying. healing a character's disability, or establishing that disability doesn't exist in your setting because "magic" runs into the same problem. It will leave your readers or viewers feeling like they don't have to worry about your characters getting seriously hurt because it will only be temporary, which means your hero's actions carry significantly less risk, which in turn, lowers the stakes and tension if not handled very, very carefully.

It's an over-used trope - quite plainly and simply, this trope shows up a lot in the fantasy genre, to the point where I'd say it's just overused and kind of boring.

So with the "why should you avoid it" covered, let's look at how you can actually handle the topic.

Limited Access and Expensive Costs

One of the most common ways to deal with healing and disability in a fantasy setting, is to make the healing magic available, but inaccessible to most of the population. The most popular way to do that is by making the services of a magical healer capable of curing a disability really expensive to the point that most people just can't afford it. If this is the approach you're going to use, you also typically have to make that type of magic quite rare. To use D&D terms, if every first level sorcerer, bard, cleric and druid can heal a spinal injury, it's going to result in a lot of people who are able to undercut those massive prices and the expense will drop as demand goes down. If that last sentence didn't give you a hint, this is really popular method in stories that are critiquing capitalistic mindsets and ideologies, and is most commonly used by authors from the USA and other countries with a similar medical system, since it mirrors a lot of the difficulties faced by disabled Americans. If done right, this approach can be very effective, but it does need to be thought through more carefully than I think people tend to do. Mainly because a lot of fantasy stories end with the main character becoming rich and/or powerful, and so these prohibitively expensive cure become attainable by the story's end, which a lot of authors and writer's just never address. Of course, another approach is to make the availability of the magic itself the barrier. Maybe there just aren't that many people around who know the magic required for that kind of healing, so even without a prohibitive price tag, it's just not something that's an option for most people. If we're looking at a D&D-type setting, maybe you need to be an exceptionally high level to cast the more powerful healing spell, or maybe the spell requires some rare or lost material component. I'd personally advise people to be careful using this approach, since it often leads to stories centred around finding a miracle cure, which then just falls back into that trope more often than not.

Just outright state that some characters don't want/need it

Another, admittedly more direct approach, is to make it that these "cures" exist and are easily attainable, but to just make it that your character or others they encounter don't want or need it. This approach works best for characters who are born with their disabilities or who already had them for a long time before a cure was made available to them. Even within those groups though, this method works better with some types of characters than others depending on many other traits (personality, cultural beliefs, etc), and isn't really a one-size-fits-all solution, but to be fair, that's kind of the point. Some people will want a cure for their disabilities, others are content with their body's the way they are. There's a few caveats I have with this kind of approach though:

you want to make sure you, as the author, understand why some people in real life don't want a cure, and not just in a "yeah I know these people exist but I don't really get it" kind of way. I'm not saying you have to have a deep, personal understanding or anything, but some degree of understanding is required unless you want to sound like one of those "inspirational" body positivity posts that used to show up on Instagram back in the day.

Be wary when using cultural beliefs as a reasoning. It can work, but when media uses cultural beliefs as a reason for turning down some kind of cure, it's often intending to critique extreme beliefs about medicine, such as the ones seen in some New Age Spirituality groups and particularly intense Christian churches. As a general rule of thumb, it's probably not a good idea to connect these kinds of beliefs to disabled people just being happy in their bodies. Alternatively, you also need to be mindful of the "stuck in time" trope - a trope about indigenous people who are depicted as primitive or, as the name suggests, stuck in an earlier time, for "spurning the ways of the white man" which usually includes medicine or the setting's equivalent magic. I'm not the best person to advise you on how to avoid this specific trope, but my partner (who's Taino) has informed me of how often it shows up in fantasy specifically and we both thought it was worth including a warning at least so creators who are interested in this method know to do some further research.

Give the "cures" long-lasting side effects

Often in the real world, when a "cure" for a disability does exist, it's not a perfect solution and comes with a lot of side effects. For example, if you loose part of your arm in an accident, but you're able to get to a hospital quickly with said severed arm, it can sometimes be reattached, but doing so comes at a cost. Most people I know who had this done had a lot of issues with nerve damage, reduced strength, reduced fine-motor control and often a great deal of pain with no clear source. Two of the people I know who's limbs were saved ended up having them optionally re-amputated only a few years later. Likewise, I know many people who are paraplegics and quadriplegics via spinal injuries, who were able to regain the use of their arms and/or legs. However, the process was not an easy one, and involved years of intense physiotherapy and strength training. For some of them, they need to continue to do this work permanently just to maintain use of the effected limbs, so much so that it impacts their ability to do things like work a full-time job and engage in their hobbies regularly, and even then, none of them will be able bodied again. Even with all that work, they all still experience reduced strength and reduced control of the limbs. depending on the type, place and severity of the injury, some people are able to get back to "almost able bodied" again - such was the case for my childhood best friend's dad, but they often still have to deal with chronic pain from the injury or chronic fatigue.

Even though we are talking about magic in a fantasy setting, we can still look to real-life examples of "cures" to get ideas. Perhaps the magic used has a similar side effect. Yes, your paraplegic character can be "cured" enough to walk again, but the magic maintaining the spell needs a power source to keep it going, so it draws on the person's innate energy within their body, using the very energy the body needs to function and do things like move their limbs. They are cured, but constantly exhausted unless they're very careful, and if the spell is especially strong, the body might struggle to move at all, resulting in something that looks and functions similar to the nerve damage folks with spinal injuries sometimes deal with that causes that muscle weakness and motor control issues. Your amputee might be able to have their leg regrown, but it will always be slightly off. The regrown leg is weaker and causes them to walk with a limp, maybe even requiring them to use a cane or other mobility aid.

Some characters might decide these trade-offs are worth it, and while this cures their initial disability, it leaves them with another. Others might simply decide the initial disability is less trouble than these side effects, and choose to stay as they are.

Consider if these are actually cures

Speaking of looking to the real world for ideas, you might also want to consider whether these cures are doing what the people peddling them are claiming they do. Let's look at the so-called autism cures that spring up every couple of months as an example.

Without getting into the… hotly debated specifics, there are many therapies that are often labelled as "cures" for autism, but in reality, all they are doing is teaching autistic people how to make their autistic traits less noticeable to others. This is called masking, and it's a skill that often comes at great cost to an autistic person's mental health, especially when it's a behaviour that is forced on them. Many of these therapies give the appearance of being a cure, but the disability is still there, as are the needs and difficulties that come with it, they're just hidden away. From an outside perspective though, it often does look like a success, at least in the short-term. Then there are the entirely fake cures with no basis in reality, the things you'll find from your classic snake-oil salesmen. Even in a fantasy setting where real magic exists, these kinds of scams and misleading treatments can still exist. In fact, I think it would make them even more common than they are in the real world, since there's less suspension of disbelief required for people to fall for them. "What do you mean this miracle tonic is a scam? Phil next door can conjure flames in his hand and make the plants grow with a snap of his fingers, why is it so hard to believe this tonic could regrow my missing limb?"

I think the only example of this approach I've seen, at least recently, is from The Owl House. The magic in this world can do incredible things, but it works in very specific and defined ways. Eda's curse (which can be viewed as an allegory for many disabilities and chronic illnesses) is seemingly an exception to this, and as such, nothing is able to cure it. Treat it, yes, but not cure it. Eda's mother doesn't accept this though, and seeks out a cure anyway and ends up falling for a scam who's "treatments" just make things worse.

In your own stories, you can either have these scams just not work, or kind of work, but in ways that are harmful and just not worth it, like worse versions of the examples in the previous point. Alternatively, like Eda, it's entirely reasonable that a character who's been the target of these scams before might just not want to bother anymore. Eda is a really good example of this approach handled in a way that doesn't make her sad and depressed about it either. She's tried her mum's methods, they didn't work, and now she's found her own way of dealing with it that she's happy with. She only gets upset when her boundaries are ignored by Luz and her mother.

Think about how the healing magic is actually working

If you have a magic system that leans more on the "hard magic" side of things, a great way to get around the issue of healing magic erasing disability is to stop and think about how your healing magic actually works.

My favourite way of doing this is to make healing magic work by accelerating the natural processes of your body. Your body will, given enough time (assuming it remains infection-free) close a slash from a sword and mend a broken bone, but it will never regrow it's own limbs. It will never heal damage to it's own spinal cord. It will never undo whatever causes autism or fix it's own irregularities. Not without help. Likewise, healing magic alone won't do any of these things either, it's just accelerating the existing process and usually, by extension making it safer, since a wound staying open for an hour before you get to a healer is much less likely to get infected than one that slowly and naturally heals over a few weeks. In one of my own works, I take this even further by making it that the healing magic is only accelerating cell growth and repair, but the healer has to direct it. In order to actually heal, the healer needs to know the anatomy of what they're fixing to the finest detail. A spell can reconnect a torn muscle to a bone, but if you don't understand the structures that allow that to happen in the first place, you're likely going to make things worse. For this reason, you won't really see people using this kind of magic to, say, regrow limbs, even though it technically is possible. A limb is a complicated thing. The healer needs to be able to perfectly envision all the bones, the cartilage, the tendons and ligaments, the muscles (including the little ones, like those found in your skin that make your hair stand on end and give you goose bumps), the fat and skin tissues, all the nerves, all the blood vessels, all the structures within the bone that create your blood. Everything, and they need to know how it all connects, how it is supposed to move and be able to keep that clearly in their mind simultaneously while casting. Their mental image also has to match with the patient's internal "map" of the body and the lost limb, or they'll continue to experience phantom limb sensation even if the healing is successful. It's technically possible, but the chances they'll mess something up is too high, and so it's just not worth the risk to most people, including my main character.

Put Restrictions on the magic

This is mostly just the same advice as above, but for softer magic systems. put limits and restrictions on your healing magic. These can be innate (so things the magic itself is just incapable of doing) or external (things like laws that put limitations on certain types of magic and spells).

An example of internal restriction can be seen in how some people interpret D&D's higher level healing spells like regenerate (a 7th level spell-something most characters won't have access to for quite some time). The rules as written specify that disabilities like lost limbs can be healed using this spell, but some players take this to mean that if a character was born with the disability in question, say, born without a limb, regenerate would only heal them back to their body's natural state, which for them, is still disabled.

An external restriction would be that your setting has outlawed healing magic, perhaps because healing magic carries a lot of risks for some reason, eithe to the caster or the person being healed, or maybe because the healing magic here works by selectively reviving and altering the function of cells, which makes it a form of necromancy, just on a smaller scale. Of course, you can also use the tried and true, "all magic is outlawed" approach too. In either case, it's something that will prevent some people from being able to access it, despite it being technically possible. Other external restrictions could look like not being illegal, per say, but culturally frowned upon or taboo where your character is from.

But what if I don't want to do any of this?

Well you don't have to. These are just suggestions to get you thinking about how to make a world where healing magic and disability exist, but they aren't the only ways. Just the ones I thought of.

Of course, if you'd still rather make a setting where all disability is cured because magic and you just don't want to think about it any deeper, I can't stop you. I do however, want to ask you to at least consider where you are going to draw the line. Disability, in essence, is what happens when the body stops (or never started) functioning "normally". Sometimes that happens because of an injury, sometimes it's just bad luck, but the boundary between disabled and not disabled is not as solid as I think a lot of people expect it to be, and we as a society have a lot of weird ideas about what is and isn't a disability that just, quite plainly and simply, aren't consistent. You have to remember, a magic system won't pick and choose the way we humans do, it will apply universally, regardless of our societal hang-ups about disability.

What do I mean about this?

Well, consider for a moment, what causes aging? it's the result of our body not being able to repair itself as effectively as it used to. It's the body not being able to perform that function "normally". So in a setting where all disability is cured, there would be no aging. No elderly people. No death from old age. If you erase disability, you also erase natural processes like aging. magic won't pick and choose like that, not if you want it to be consistent.

Ok, ok, maybe that's too much of a stretch, so instead, let's look at our stereotypical buff hero covered in scars because he's a badass warrior. but in a world where you can heal anything, why would anything scar? Even if it did, could another healing spell not correct that too? Scars are part of the body's natural healing process, but if no natural healing occurred, why would a scar form? Scars are also considered disabling in and of themselves too, especially large ones, since they aren't as flexible or durable as normal skin and can even restrict growth and movement.

Even common things like needing glasses are, using this definition of disability at least, a disability. glasses are a socially accepted disability aid used to correct your eyes when they do not function "normally".

Now to be fair, in reality, there are several definitions of disability, most of which include something about the impact of society. For example, in Australia (according to the Disability Royal Commission), we define disability as "An evolving concept that results from the interaction between a person with impairment(s) and attitudinal and environmental barriers that hinder their full and effective participation in society on an equal basis with others." - or in laymen's terms, the interaction between a person's impairment and societal barriers like people not making things accessible or holding misinformed beliefs about your impairment (e.g. people in wheelchairs are weaker than people who walk). Under a definition like this, things like scars and needing glasses aren't necessarily disabilities (most of the time) but that's because of how our modern society sees them. The problem with using a definition like this though to guide what your magic system will get rid of, is that something like a magic system won't differentiate between an "impairment" that has social impacts that and one that doesn't. It will still probably get rid of anything that is technically an example of your body functioning imperfectly, which all three of these things are. The society in your setting might apply these criteria indirectly, but really, why would they? Very few people like the side effects of aging on the body (and most people typically don't want to die), the issues that come with scars or glasses are annoying (speaking as someone with both) and I can see a lot of people getting rid of them when possible too. If they don't then it's just using the "not everyone wants it approach" I mentioned earlier. If there's some law or some kind of external pressure to push people away from fixing these more normalised issues, then it's using the "restrictions" method I mentioned earlier too.

Once again, you can do whatever you like with your fantasy setting, but it's something I think that would be worth thinking about at least.

[ohsalome]

the intention of comparing the reaction to Palestine vs Ukraine is typically not to criticize Ukrainian victims of war. The criticism is directed at American spectators, because the people in power here are insanely anti Palestinian but have made overtures to help Ukraines resistance efforts despite comparable situations. Regular citizens also mostly support Ukraine but many hate Palestinians. People are just comparing palestine to Ukraine as a point of reference to try to make those people understand.

As kindly as possible, I do not think you can educate people out of islamophobia by appealing to their conscience, at the very least because if they had one they wouldn't be islamophobic in the first place.

And when it comes to people in power, appealing to their empathy in the case with Palestine is fruitless because the help Ukraine got wasn't motivated by emotion either. I do not expect you to know the history of current russo-ukrainian war well, so you probably don't know that the western world was perfectly happy to watch russia roll all over us punishment-free as long as they felt that other "properly european countries" won't be involved. Russia has been butchering us since 2014, and nobody gave a fuck about it. Even during the first few weeks of the full-scale invasion NATO refused to send us any military help, because they expected us to fall and were okay with it.

The current support we have did not fall on us from the sky by the graceful kindness of "our american overlords" - it is a consequence of the cumulative effort of our diplomats, pre-existing agreements with NATO countries, and the economical ripples the full-scale war caused (Ukraine being one of the major world exporters of grain being one of the most relevant).

This is why, sadly Palestine cannot follow the Ukrainian scenario of foreign support. The surrounding circumstances of both of our wars are way to different, and while it is easy to ignore them while making simplistic quick-dopamine-hit posts on hellbr dot com, they do influence the real-world situation on the ground. Which is what posts like the one I replied to do - they create a no-nuance misinformed image of the war in Ukraine. Which amplifies the problem even more, because even though "most americans" can agree on a generic "war in Ukraine bad", their idea of what is going on here is hugely misinformed as it is. And this has harmful real-life consequences on which our very survival depends.

Look. I understand that the war between Palestine and Israel has been going on for decades. I understand that there are many contexts that are obvious to the people in the respective countries that I am oblivious to by the virtue of never being there and not speaking arabic nor hebrew. I understand that there is a lot of propaganda that I may accidentally spread out of my ignorance, and therefore I try to be careful to avoid doing so, out of respect to the people living there. So why is it too much to ask you to give the same respect to us?

Like I have said before, the biggest issue with that infographic post is that it spreads misinformation. In the simplest of terms, misinformation is bad. People are trying to do any smallest thing to help Palestinians - who are currently barely surviving in inhumanely horrifying conditions - and out of ignorance they are spreading anti-ukrainian propaganda. Downplaying the number of ukrainian victims (and, as a result, making russian war crimes look "not as bad") is anti-ukrainian propaganda. Making it seem as we are getting "too much american help" is anti-ukrainian propaganda, because USA is our biggest military exporter, and getting less ammo/vehicles/etc will have catastrophic effect on the amount of death.

Which is why am not staying silent on this, even if your collective intentions are noble and good. Because, I will repeat myself again, your intentions do not matter if the consequences of your actions are harmful. And if (a) comparing Ukraine and Palestine is uneffective; (b) it portrays your ignorance of either one or both of the wars; and (c) simultaneously with spreading support for the palestinian cause you are spreading harmful anti-ukrainian pro-russian propaganda, I do not think it is too much to ask you to stop.

[canisalbus]

I hope this isn’t unwelcome but here are a few of my personal Vascete modern AU headcanons:

As a child, Vasco was usually voted as a team captain when playing sports with other kids. Not necessarily because of his sporting ability, but rather because of his leadership qualities and general agreeableness and ease with others.

Machete always uses perfect grammar when he texts, but can take a while to respond. Vasco often responds instantly but with less attention to grammar. Machete texts in unbroken paragraphs (when he has a lot to say) but Vasco’s texts come through in small, sporadic flurries.

Machete is very familiar with hospitals, particularly so in his childhood due to his various medical issues. As a result he actually finds their cleanliness, and the politeness of the doctors, comforting. These experiences also made him more patient than he might otherwise have been.

Vasco donates blood and is on an organ donor registry.

Machete always carries hand sanitiser around and is constantly offering it to Vasco, who always carries hand cream around, and is constantly offering it to Machete.

Both are well-versed in music and have refined musical tastes.

Vasco hums wholeheartedly whilst doing the dishes - a chore Machete likes to avoid where possible. Vasco knows this, so he pretends he doesn’t mind doing them.

Machete often has a headache and Vasco’s usual first response to this is to ask Machete if he’s had enough water today. He’s often right.

Vasco scarcely thinks of the other paths his life could have taken. Though he knows pain, he feels very fortunate for all the good he’s been dealt in life, and attributes his good luck mostly to happy accidents. Machete on the other hand has unexpected moments of stark awareness of all the possible forks in his road. It’s a sudden deja vu that creeps up on him when he’s alone, almost as if he can remember all of his and Vasco’s past/ potential lives together. The feeling vanishes just as soon as it arrives.

Hot dang anon I LOVE these. Unwelcome UNWELCOME? You come to my house and present me with thoughtful interpretations of my characters, I feel nourished.

I can definitely see Vasco being a popular choice for a team captain. He's physically active but not ultra sporty, and even though he can get excited and carried away, he's never been that competitive (he's got that 'I just hope both teams have fun' sort of vibe that people tend to like).

The texting bit is terribly cute. Vasco rapid firing message after message vs Machete intermittently slapping half an essay in the chat.

Machete is hypochondriac and his threshold for seeking threatment is low, especially if he's experiencing anything he's not already familiar with. To my understanding Italy has a good quality universal public healthcare, but he typically chooses to go with private sector anyway and has been investing in pricey health insurance for years (probably way more extensive than what is necessary or reasonable).

I also thought of Vasco as a habitual blood donor. He wouldn't like it per se (medical surroundings unnerve him), but I think he might just get a kick out of being a good boy and potentially helping people. (I know gay, bi and msm men used to be banned from donating (or at least severely restricted) but it looks like many countries have revised their criteria significantly in recent years and there's a good chance he'd be eligible these days.)

The hand sanitizer/hand cream combo is so good. It made me chuckle. (Are you a hand sanitizer person or a hand cream person?)

Their respective tastes in music and cinema have more overlap than you might initially think, and they keep aligning closer and closer over time.

Machete wouldn't like doing dishes. Having to touch wet food (weird texture + unhygienic) is bad times all around. But he genuinely enjoys a little bit of vacuuming, dusting, laundry and general tidying and organizing. He doesn't leave that much for Vasco to do, just the occasional visibly messy jobs that squick him out more than he cares to admit.

That's very considerate of him. That's a very considerate thing to do to anyone in general. Dehydration and low blood sugar can really sour your mood and you wouldn't even notice they were the reason you're feeling so bad all of a sudden. (When I'm having a difficult day I try to remember to ask myself whether things are truly collapsing or am I potentially just a little too thirsty and hungry and unaware of it. Usually it's the latter).

Ah yes, Machete and the horrors. Vasco might be aware of the horrors as well, but perhaps he possesses the specific kind of galaxy brain that is near immune to this particular flavor of existential dread.

[grimrester]

i love farcille but i have Thoughts

i don't think marcille is even close to accepting any romantic feelings towards OR from falin by the end of the manga, or even in the supplemental comics set after the manga.

marcille has huge issues and misconceptions around age. part of her still sees falin as the young girl she met in school. when she hears about falin and laios's parents' age, she immediately calls them "those kids." she's objectively wrong here, but her perception of time and maturity is totally warped. she uses her own numerical age as a benchmark for maturity - with her own current age representing "totally 100% mature." anyone younger than her is "a kid." this is completely flawed thinking in two ways. firstly, half-elves age differently and inconsistently, so her numerical benchmarks don't make sense for literally any other race. secondly, marcille is NOT MATURE.

she spends half the manga whining about what she has to eat to survive. she repeatedly endangers her teammates to selfishly prove her worth. she clings to doing things by the book to the detriment of her own growth and her relationships with other people. she pouts when people don't want to do things her way. hell, just in day-to-day personal interactions, falin is more mature than marcille by a long shot. and yet she sees herself as more "adult" than falin.

falin, who understood early on that her parents did their best to protect her with the resources they had, even if they didn't always communicate it well. falin, who rejects shuro's second attempt at a proposal with such nuance, kindness, and grace that he smiles afterwards. falin, who withstood bullying from her peers at school and from adults in her village for years and came out of it with kindness that can exorcize zombies with a hug.

in order to accept any feelings she has for falin or vice versa, marcille would first have to recognize that falin is not a child compared to her. and there are times she comes close. falin, in her eyes, is almost superhumanly kind to the point of near worship. but she still sees falin as silly or childish because falin doesn't make the same practical choices that marcille would. ironically, those choices are typically driven by falin's kindness or love of all things living. and falin is too conflict-avoidant to tell marcille directly that she's wrong.

i don't think that a romance is impossible between them, though. i think it'd just take either emotional growth on marcille's part, or possibly even growth on falin's. while falin canonically doesn't push back on marcille's assumptions at all, she's also not so passive that she couldn't ever push back. we see pretty early on in the story that she's willing to hurt others if it means protecting her friends, she'd just prefer not to. i could see a situation arising where marcille makes selfish or damaging choices and falin has to put her in her place about it, and marcille finally comes to a revelation about her own or falin's maturity.

from there i think would essentially be an emotional floodgate. the groundwork for her having feelings is there, as they're obviously very affectionate with each other, but the revelation "falin is not an ickle babby i have to look out for" would have her recontextualizing a lot of their interactions. marcille would have to spend a while wrestling with suddenly feeling "wrong" about sharing a bed with falin, something she used to do easily. when falin gets cuddly, she'd struggle with the feeling of "this used to seem platonic to me but now it doesn't."

actually, it'd probably be a lot like realizing you're a lesbian and that your relationship with a friend was kind of weirdly homoerotic, and not knowing if that was "okay" or not.

[bluarlequinno]

It's kinda funny to me that Husk mentions that Charlie is trying to fix others because she's avoiding fixing herself but I don't see lots of people talking about it (or about her in general) and even the show itself makes a very clear indication that Charlie's motives and actions for helping people aren't just because of pure altruism, don't get me wrong I do believe she has good intent and genuinely wants to help, but I personally what I interpreted, I feel it comes to the fear of her being unwanted and A LOT AND I MEAN A LOT of characters treat Charlie so shitty, but Charlie always bottles it up and treats them back with kindness, (at least until she can't no more and explodes), there are very few characters to which she responds back with violence being (Valentino, Lute and Adam (rightfully)), but in general she is extremely optimistic to the point it almost seems self damaging and I really wish it was talked more enough because it opens up a whole level of complexity to her character not many people give her, she isn't your typical altruistic good protagonist, she's extremely good to people out of her own fear of rejection, look how she behaved when she realized she damaged more than she helped Angel dust, yes it is normal to feel overwhelmed when you know you've harmed a friend, but Charlie's reactions although played for laughs, go to an extent of over compensation out of fear of being rejected and not receiving the benefit of the doubt to be forgiven, (also because it faces her face to face with her own flaws), just like how she always tries to do the same with others to the point of probably putting herself at harm, I'm not sure how conscious she is of it herself, but it's obvious she over compensates to anything to make sure people won't leave her, because as much as the show says she's got daddy issues, I feel more overall she's got abandonment issues in general, because literally both her mother and father left her at a point in her life and even when Lucifer comes back she's hesitant as to when is his staying going to last (I have problems with how quickly their issue was resolved but that is a discussion for another post).

My main point is that Charlie's issues with herself are so fascinating to me because I love characters who seem like the perfect altruist hero but actually unknowingly to themselves, have more emotionally "selfish" motivations, obviously I'm not saying Charlie has any ill intent, but she's literally an over protected princess of an exploited, unfair and exploitative system who has a very shielded and naive view of morals and goodness and badness.

I know this is fuckin Hazbin hotel, but I srs have so much brainrot.

I know critics of the morals of heaven and hell ain't anything new, but there is genuine good commentary in my opinion, not by any means perfect, but it definitely is doing insistent questions on the nature of a religious morality and using real life politics systems to somehow drive it further and connect it more with reality, of course modernizing it and treating it as a modern, tumblr version of so, but it's really good and the songs are amazing.

The point is, I'm really hoping they will explore more of the character of Charlie and how she transforms to her "demon" form when she is more emotionally unstable that could do a lot of commentary too if used right, but maybe I'm just projecting my own headcanons and ideas for her lol.

Actually I have no previous knowledge of any other media of the creator outside of Hazbin Hotel because I watched it some days ago in Amazon prime so yeah I just really like media and edgy media I'm sorry I liked this show, with it's problems and all I did like it, maybe it was too obvious for most, but I'm really new to the fandom so forgive my rantings

[soullessdianthus]

Soft!Bo Sinclair X Fem!Reader | Headcanons

>> PART 2

Author's note: Basically, how Bo's heart softened and spared you from death. And yeah I'm kinda fucked in the head for writing him this way, but HEAR ME OUT━ I consider doing a part 2 to extend the topic hihi (like, what life in Ambrose with him later looks like or smth + NSFW obviously), but these are my first headcanons, so please be considerate. <3

Warnings: it's a bit lenghty, sorry, canon typical violence, SFW (lot's of comfort)

Word count: 1.1k

Before your first "visit" to Ambrose, you and your friends set up a camp in the nearby woods - you were on a camping trip around Louisiana, for fun I guess or maybe during some break in your school/work

Bo watched your group from the tree line that night, he saw how poorly they treated you, how ignoring and demeaning they were towards you, why on Earth would you spend time with them?

He formed a strong opinion about those people right then and somehow took a little, tiny bit pity on you

When the car mysteriously broke down during the night, you along your companions took a walk to the small town nearby, searching the local mechanic

He was quick to find you, sitting on a pavement in front of a gas station

The man was charming, you admitted to yourself finally, especially when his bright irises traced your every step around the station

Bo looked enchanted, amazed by your personality, the way you talked, your appearance or all at once

But when some of your friends began to disappear few hours later, the true horror began

You stuck between the weirdly abandoned houses with two of your companions who were quick to seal your fate

They used handcuffs they found on the policeman wax figure to strap you to the metal pipe on the gas station - as a fucking offering to the killers chasing after the tourists

"Wh- THE HELL YOU'RE DOING?!"

"Creating a distraction I guess" they responded, trying to justify their actions, before running off, abandoning you to die alone

No matter how hard you struggled against the tube or the handcuffs, there was no way you could escape this without cutting your palm off

Obviously you wanted to avoid that option

And then, out of bloom, he appeared - dressed in a blue coverall, sweat drops shining over his forehead, tousled hair sticking to his temple - clearly running after your "friends"

Bo noticed you in an instant and a wide smile twisted his face - such a prize as you, being placed (offered even) in front of him like a gift? best day ever for our man Bo

And if you are considerably way younger than him, let's say early twenties - he would take an extra intrest in you (being more vulnerable for manipulation *COUGHS*), also extra points if you have daddy issues

Come on, this guy just wants to be worshiped by younger girl and tells her what to do, okay?

"My, my, what do we have 'ere?" he asked rhetorically, slowly lurching toward you "Little fuckers left ya behind? Tsk, tsk"

You froze in place petrified, but... he didn't seem to want to hurt you

Bo swooped your loose hair behind your ear, before carefully examining your form - all this time you stood still

Because what else could you do? You were immobilized, ffs

"Don't worry darlin', Imma take care of 'em, yeah? Just stay right here"

He placed a goodbye-kiss on top of your head, before returning to his "duties", the hunt wasn't over yet

So you stood there helpless, bound to the metal pipe outside of the gas station for God knows how long, wondering what will happen to your friends and what will happen to you

You took a peek inside the wax museum and soon enough you found out the town was in fact empty - there had to be a correlation, right?

Besides you saw the man with a weird mask and long black hair stab one of your companions in the neck - so the conclusion was quite simple

When Beauregard came back with a pair of tiny keys looped on his thumb, you gave him a merciful stare with glossy eyes, non verbally expressing the thought "please, don't kill me"

"You're a smart girl, ain'tcha? Gonna be good, yeah? That means 'no troubles', got it?" Bo spoke softly, his voice enchanting you with sweet venom

He unlocked the handcuffs and set you free, while you gently nodded your head, agreeing to being "good".

"T-Thanks" you massaged the bruised wrist, devouring feeling of "freedom", before he placed his big palm on your lower back

It was so warm

"Come, you must be tired, huh?" Sinclair guided you to walk along him, heading to the house on a hill

His house

Bo invited you inside, opening the doors and guiding you once again with his hand

If he only could, he would hold you, touch you, fondle your flesh all the time - you were fucking magnetic

You politely entered the house, feeling his presence on your back - at this point you wanted to punch yourself in the face for thinking that you're safe now, that he wouldn't hurt you - he probably just killed your friends

But the man took a weird liking to you, maybe it was your bargaining chip to survival?

It was already dark outside when Bo led you to his room upstairs

He caught a clean t-shirt from the drawer and placed it in your hands

"Why are you doing this? Why are you kind to me?" you kept your head down, fingers digging into the material of his shirt

There was a dead silence for a seconds before he responded

"Such a girl like you doesn't deserve to be treated like trash, yeah? You had shitty friends, doll"

You finally looked up at him

He was smiling, it was a gentle smile, a caring one

"Now, maybe we should finally rest, hm? It was a long day"

You did not protest when he pointed with his finger to the bathroom, where you could change into the clean clothes

Neither when he changed into his pajama and guided you towards his bed

The adrenaline and emotions from the whole day kept you on a constant survival mode - but of course, you thought about escape

Yet you didn't

Somehow you made it this far

But now you were lying in bed beside him, under one sheet

You tried to remain calmness, but the tears overfilled your tired eyes - you started crying, trying to remain as still as possible

But Bo felt your curled up form shaking and a few weeps could be heard though you tried to hide it

"Come 'ere" he spoke through the darkness of his room "come, sweetheart. There's no need to cry"

When you turned around to face him, his arm was already opened, inviting you into his embrace

And you foolishly succumbed into his touch

This should feel wrong, but it didn't

He was so warm

Bo brought you even closer to his chest, letting his heat radiate through you

Oh, to have him take care of you &lt;3

You melted into his touch and soon after fall asleep in his arms

Bo never wish for his precious girl to cry like this again

[dark-audit]

Myths to Avoid When Writing Torture

Fiction makes, implicitly or explicitly, some kind of argument. A fictional portrayal of a guy simply going for a walk might make the argument that walking is a nice activity to do. This might not be a particularly earth-shattering message, but messages like this are implicit within the literary tools we use in how we portray characters, behavior, settings, and relationships. This underlying argument – a theme – is present in all of fiction. It’s why you’ll often see people make the statement that “all art is political”. And when it comes to torture – a subject which in and of itself has been the topic of political debate for millenia – how we approach the ideas and arguments made within fictional depictions of torture warrant, in my opinion, a degree of care. Torture isn’t just something that happens in movies. It is something that happens today, to real people, on a global scale. It’s not even particularly rare.

The difficulty with the subject of torture specifically is that for the past two decades, the public perception of torture has shifted on a global scale, seen most clearly in how torture is presented in contemporary media, fiction or otherwise. Everybody believes these myths. And getting indoctrinated into having reactionary takes on a topic is nobody’s fault, considering that almost every source outside of academia feeds you misinformation. But that’s, y’know, kinda why I made this blog: in the hopes that I might be able to get people to consider what ideas they’re presenting in their writing.

I want to start out by briefly reitorating some basics of how torture apologia typically works within political discussions, because this very much is relevant to how you can avoid accidentally sending the wrong message.

The first thing you need to understand is that the real-life debate surrounding torture isn’t framed in terms of whether or not torture is good or bad – everybody, including torturers themselves, will concede that it is bad. The more insidious argument is that torture is useful for achieving certain goals, and that it is therefore justified in extreme emergencies. Not only does this argument try to soften the usually rigid negative framing of torture in moral discussions, but it also seeks to poke holes in the international laws which ban the use of torture outright. It’s a moral, political and legal argument all wrapped up in one reactionary package. For this reason, having the theme of “torture is bad” doesn’t always mean a piece of writing isn’t making use of torture apologia. “Torture is useful” serves that goal just fine.

Torture is also often discussed in terms of civility – not the civility of the torturers, but the civility of the victims. It’s the argument that the people who are being tortured are bad people, and therefore don’t warrant the respect and dignity we usually offer to other human beings; they are so bad, essentially, that it’s fine for us civilized people to war crime them. Whenever I’ve encountered this argument, it has usually been presented in a way that was, shall we say, sussy as fuck – some even give up the pretense and straight up call their victims “savages” or “degenerates”. I hope I don’t need to explain why this line of thinking is insane, but in any case, it’s just my way of getting you to consider that a lot of the myths surrounding torture are rooted in broader sociopolitical issues, often racism and religious discrimination, and historically, most often within the context of colonialism.

With that in mind, let’s get into the myths, starting with the most obvious one.

"Torture for information works."

Every study I’ve read has concluded that torture is counterproductive when it comes to gathering intel from reluctant sources. Under severe pain or distress, victims are more focused on saying whatever they think the torturer wants to hear to make the torture stop, as opposed to providing accurate information. On a neurophysiological level, severe pain or distress actually interferes with the pathways of the brain relating to long- and short-term memory; this means that torture in and of itself is likely to destroy the very evidence it sets out to gather. Furthermore, victims are less likely to cooperate if subjected to physical abuse, including torture, and nothing in the infliction of pain itself works as some kind of truth serum. Lying and defiance are more likely under torture.

To a large minority of people, portraying torture as a reliable tool for gathering accurate information will make the implicit argument that torture, although usually bad, can hold utilitarian value in certain exceptional cases. I’ve written about this more in depth here.

"Under torture, everyone cooperates sooner or later."

French prosecutors used torture in the events leading up to the French revolution, as a way to gain forced confessions from suspects. Their failures and successes were jotted down, leading us with a pretty revealing insight – the highest success rate for gathering forced confessions was in Toulouse, an exceptionally high 14%. In Paris, only 3% of suspects cooperated long enough to sign their name – the rest did not. This is one of the primary reasons that the French criminal justice system eventually dropped using torture for intelligentsia. To quote Darius Rejali, who wrote The Book on torture: “Torture the clumsiest method available to organizations.”

So no, not everybody talks – in fact, rough estimate, 90% of torture victims never do. Defiance is by far the norm with torture.

"When the bad guy does it, it’s torture – when the good guy does it, it’s a tough, but morally justifiable decision."

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Heroes of stories, especially in the action genre, often engage in the use of torture for information, usually following the framework of the ticking bomb scenario, a thought experiment based on the false notion that torture works as an interrogation method. Here, torture is turned into a heroicact, one that speaks to the toughness of the person who uses it. Ask yourself if you want to frame torturers though this lens – because if you do, you are literally justifying the act torture, and, y’know, you do you, but I am gonna call you stupid and reactionary. Torture done by a “good” person is just as abhorrent as torture done by anybody else.

"Some methods of torture are less severe than others."

This myth stems from governments trying to downplay the use of certain methods of torture, and usually goes hand in hand with euphemistic redefinitions of the concept, such as the CIA’s “enhanced interrogation methods,” also known as “torture lite,” or the Israeli “coercive interrogation.” The methods that have been proposed in this supposed less severe category of torture includes stimulated drowning, also known as waterboarding, as well as caning, beatings, limbs being broken with clubs, sleep deprivation, stress positions (ex. forcing a person to crouch against a wall for extended periods of time,) mock executions, sexual assault, and more. If these things all just sound like torture to you, it’s because they are. There is zero evidence to suggest that any torture methods, including those that leave no physical mark on the body, have less severe outcomes than those that do not – on the contrary, non-physical torture methods, including mock executions, or witnessing the torture of a loved one, have been ranked by victims as causing equal amounts of psychological distress as physical torture.

"Torture only causes harm to the person who is being tortured."

This is incredibly unrealistic. Torture is an act that is destructive in all directions, causing trauma to victims, their family, witnesses, and even torturers themselves. It disintegrates the structure of the organizations that use it, it breeds resentment and hatred in the communities around it, and it radicalizes people into extremism. Pretending that consequences like this don’t exist isn’t torture apologia per se, but if your aim is to show the realistic outcomes of torture, these are some of the things you need to consider.

Torture is portrayed as “scientific”; torturers are “skilled” in the “art” of torture.

The most common methods of torture in use today are: hitting people, sleep deprivation, and starvation. These don’t require a whole lot of brain power to conjure up, in fact the infliction of intense suffering is very straightforward. Human beings are full of nerves. Stick a knife anywhere, and I’d be more impressed if it didn’t cause pain.

Not to mention, portraying torture as “scientific” or something that “requires technical skill” makes the implicit argument that torture works for its intended use, here under the condition that you should at least do it right – which brings us right back to that utilitarian fallacy.

"Torturers are expert interrogators, and possess an extraordinary ability to detect lies in their victims."

Studies have been done on the ability of police officers to detect lies for about four decades now. The average person will have a 57% accuracy rate, meaning they’re barely better at spotting deception than a coin toss. For police officers, the highest estimate is around 65% - but it might also be as low as 45%, meaning they might be less accurate than a coin toss – even though police officers tend to think of themselves as exceptional at spotting deception. The same trend is seen in torturers.

In fact, this myth in particular originated from torturers’ accounts of how they conceptualize themselves, which is not only false, but also cringe. When an interrogator starts making use of torture, their focus tends to shift away from gathering reliable information, and more towards “perfecting” the infliction of pain, which means that over time, those interrogative skills are substantially degraded – they are terrible interrogators. So torturers are no better at spotting lies than your average person; they might actually be worse. They can’t read minds, and they don’t possess some secret mystical knowledge about the psychology of their victims.

"You can train someone to resist torture."

Loads of intelligence agencies and revolutionary groups around the world have published material that supposedly serves as manuals for resisting torture, but the truth is, torture is so extreme, there really is no way to prepare or train someone to “resist” it; this is something that even the CIA has acknowledged. Everybody’s reaction to pain will be different. There is no way to predict how torture will affect anyone, much less give them instructions beforehand that will somehow magically negate those effects.

"Brainwashing through torture works."

Torturers can’t change the emotional framework of a person through the infliction of pain. They cannot change the strongly held beliefs and opinions held by their victims through the infliction of pain. They can’t erase someone’s entire personality or make them a ‘blank slate’ through the infliction of pain. They can’t predict how a victim responds to torture, much less direct that response to their own benefit. This is not how pain works.

This is not only an implicit argument for the usefulness of torture to change someone’s behavior or force religious conversions, but the myth that torturers have some form of control of their victims even after the torture has ended is also used in real life to paint survivors as dangerous or unstable, and thereby bar them from treatment and aid, and even to allow access into countries to escape the circumstances that facilitated their torture in the first place. That last point is why you often see the advocacy of refugee rights in organizations that work to prevent torture; these two branches of activism have a huge overlap.

Torture victims cannot be controlled by their torturers. Brainwashing isn’t real.

"Stockholm syndrome is real."

This is a derivative of the brainwashing myth, which means all the connotations previously mentioned remain, but as a cherry on top, Stockholm syndrome as a trope can also serve as an implicit argument for the utility of domestic abuse. So that’s cool.

If you deliberately inflict suffering on someone, that is guaranteed to make that person dislike you. In real life, torture survivors not only tend to be extremely resentful of their torturers, but they also tend to be resentful of anyone belonging to the same demographic as their torturers, whether that be ethnicity, nationality, or even gender or general appearance. Like I said, torture radicalizes people.

"Torture makes people obedient."

Any physical abuse or neglect, including bad cell conditions, access to medical aid, decent food and clean water, is likely to breed resentment in victims and makes them far more reluctant to cooperate with their aggressors. With torture, defiance is the norm, by far. You saw this on a larger scale in the war on terror, for example – turns out that carpet bombing a country to deter terrorism only radicalizes the civilian population, producing more terrorists. No form of violence exists that will make a person particularly eager to shut up and do what you want them to do. It will just make them hate you.

The notion that torture makes people obedient is also an implicit argument for the use of corporal punishment or as crime deterrence, something that along with capital punishment has repeatedly been proven false by sociological studies. People just do not function like this. If you want to create obedience in your story – violence is the last thing you should use.

"People “break” under torture."

Victims of torture sometimes make the conscious decision to do what their torturer wants them to do, and this often serves as a means to buy enough time to plan an escape, or mount up whatever act of defiance they can manage. Sometimes they simply do it to get the torture to stop – this, too, is a tough, conscious decision. If you want to consider this a form of “breaking”, by all means go ahead, but implying personal weakness or lack of willpower in torture victims rubs me the wrong way. I personally see it as a rational choice made by a person who is in an otherwise impossible situation.

"Torture survivors are “broken”."

Torture certainly can lead to extreme psychological distress, but again, the term “broken” here implicitly makes the argument that torture victims simply lacked the mental fortitude to withstand their trauma. In my opinion, there’s a certain degree of victim blaming involved with framing torture survivors in this way, and certainly, it’s a framing that inherently strips away their agency.

Another thing that rubs me the wrong way is the fact “brokenness” implies a degree of permanence and rigidity to human beings that simply isn’t there, as if we are solid objects that, once shattered, can never regain the function we once had. It’s a nitpick, but I view people as organic things, capable of healing and growth – not as glassware.

Conclusion

I’d wager that while reading this, a good portion of you recognized some of these myths from depictions of torture in fiction; that’s not particularly surprising to me. These myths aren’t just widespread, they’ve been engrained in the global public perception of torture by decades of political debate and government propaganda, and as a result, have seeped into popular culture.

Torture isn’t rare, and neither is torture apologia. According to Amnesty International, 31% of the global population believes that torture is justified “in some cases”; as of 2014, AI had also reported on torture or other ill treatment in 141 different countries, despite the fact that torture is internationally recognized as a war crime.

In an ideal world, the subject of torture in fiction is treated with the same due diligence with which we have learned to portray subjects like homophobia, sexual assault, and racism; because, to be fair, all of these things have the capacity to intersect, and very often do. The first step in that regard is to spread awareness about how torture actually functions, which is what I hope to slowly start doing on this blog. At the very least, I hope I can make people more aware of how they choose to portray torture in their writing.

[amethystfairy1]

What’s your writing process? Like do you do outlines or just jump right into plot etc… I’m a young writer (14) and really admire your work and want to get better myself. Ty!

✨WRITING PROCESS✨

...

this.

this is my writing process.

OK TO BE REAL THO

Firstly, I don't do outlines.

I KNOW THAT'S BAD BUT I JUST DON'T

What I usually do is word vomit whatever idea I have for a fic into a notes file.

For example! Here's a little random nonsense I just copied verbatim from my notes file that might look familiar!

Tango and Z in sky, blue cracks, Z decides to drop a container with info and his phone number into the rift. He wants to talk to the hybrids, maybe he’s some sort of researcher, he went AWOL from the biotech Institute, something like that. But he is human. Then, tango finds it, or it is brought to him, because he is a direct aid to doc in the labs. Tango ends up deciding to call Z, and they end up becoming really good friends, but only over the phone. Have some fun stuff, where both Z and tango are getting a crush, but how can you crush on someone you’ve never even seen? Tango is freaking out, because he’s not the type of hybrid that can pass as human. he knows he’ll never be able to meet Z face to face. But Z is a little more determined that he gives him credit for. Also have X be a side character in the labs, voidwalker, something like that! Maybe Z is an AWOL scientist, and scar, picked him up to work in his hot guy lab, with cub.

This is the blurb that spawned the Zedango arc in TTSBC.

In case you can't tell I use the dictation function in notes because like 90% of the time I have ideas while I'm driving so I'll just tell my phone to write down whatever I'm thinking and then talk it out

So yeah! I do this, which I dunno is kinda like an outline? I do it for more or less all of my fics.

As far as other stuff, I think the best advice I can give about being a "better writer", which has to do with your question about 'jumping into plot' is to know about your characters and your world , even if you don't plan to share that information in the piece you are writing, or even like, ever.

It's the way you make your characters feel like people. I was actually talking about this with @honeylashofficial not to long ago! You should know why your characters make the choices they do, even if that information never comes up. You should know what they like and dislike and why, if they have traumas then how would those traumas affects them in small daily ways?

Jimmy in TTSBC grew used to being threatened for his wings, so now he has a love-hate relationship with them.

Tango spent a long time without a truly safe place to sleep as a child, so now he has insomnia because he has an internalized fear of falling asleep/being vulnerable.

Zed was treated very poorly at his previous workplace, and he had a terrible experience where his professional lifes work was torn to shreds in front of him, so his self-esteem is very low, and he tends to be very self-deprecating even in a joking fashion.

Cub has sensory issues that severely impact his mood because of his warden hybrid traits, so he typically keeps himself very low energy as a baseline to avoid seeming like he has mood swings.

Even little stuff like what characters notice about their surroundings! Again in TTSBC, Jimmy pays close attention to the weather and the sky, Scott notices people features and expressions, Cub has more detailed thoughts about sounds than he does about sights, stuff like that!

Also I'm gonna give ya the piece of advice no one wants to hear when they're just starting. Just write. Write a TON.

Write even if you only have half an idea. Write even if you think it's gonna be bad. Write if you have even the slightest smallest bit of a motivation to do so, just WRITE WRITE WRITE.

And I will say while I could just be one of the lucky ones, I have been posting on various fanfic websites since I was 13. And in all that time I can count on one hand the amount of hate/negative comments I have received. Over a DECADE of writing and posting and I’ve written and posted A LOT and I have only ever been met with kindness, excitement, and encouragement.

Also, the delete button exists for a reason. You curate your experience on these websites. Especially on A03, with the ability to reply to comments, you can make very clear very quickly what sort of comments you want, which ones you don't, and the vast vast vast majority will be people who are excited about your work and want to encourage you!

If you need a mood booster or some encouragement, you can find my old old stuff on FF.net under the same penname, Amethystfairy1. Just promise you won't come back over here and send asks laughing at me for how bad those stories are, ok? 😆

My point is, you learn best by doing. As you write you will get a feel for your characters, for how they interact and react, for what your specific writing style is going to be and what you enjoy writing the most. And write what you enjoy! Of course you should stretch your writing style, but also make sure you never feel like you're slogging through your writing, especially if it's for fun or creative!

OH ONE MORE THING! 👏

I HIGHLY RECCOMEND DOING A WRITING CHALLENGE!

Stuff like Whumptober, Febuwhump, Novemcomfort, AU-gust, or different fandom weeks that come up, you can find them all over tumblr! Try to participate in one of those and get in as many days as you can! It'll make you write a lot in a short period of time, and you won't have time to overthink it, which I believe is really helpful for finding your writing style and getting comfortable with writing and posting content! It'll also give you a connection to a community of other writers who are participating, especially if you plan to post your updates to tumblr like I do!

Whatever you do on your writing journey, I hope it brings you much joy, fun, and creativity! You'll create something beautiful, I just know it! 💖

[midnightsun-if]

Sorry if this sounds rude, but I have some things I need to get off my chest. Frankly, the whole Scarlett situation kind of sucks, and the way you’re handling things is not exactly helping matters. I get you have a specific vision for her character, and as a fellow author I would never suggest you compromise that to appease a bunch of sexist, entitled fans, but you’ve given so much attention to her character that it honestly comes as no surprise that people wouldn’t respect her sexuality, as bad as that is to say.

I’ve personally sent numerous asks in the past, and you haven’t answered a single one, so either you’re intentionally ignoring them, or tumblr ate them. If it’s the later, then I’m sorry for accusing you. You’re obviously not under any obligation to answer asks you don’t want to, but I admit it does sting a bit to see Scarlet Ask #523759690 on my feed when I have yet to see a single one of mine. You may not think you have a favorite character, but from an outside perspective, you 100% do.

The amount of attention Scarlett receives compared to the rest of the cast (seriously, when was the last time Caden got an ask dedicated to them?) is truly astounding. Fans will naturally have their favorites, but as an author you should remain impartial… which you really haven’t. In fact, it seems like you actively encourage the Scarlett attention. It’s like you keep showing off a fancy car that only a few people can actually buy, then get upset when people complain they can’t buy the car as well.

Anyways, I’m sorry for this rant, but I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. I wish you luck on your writing journey, and hope you have a happy holiday (if you’re in a country that celebrates any upcoming holidays)!

I truly don’t know what to say other than the fact that I haven’t seen your asks and that I’m trying to avoid Scarlett asks when it specifically involves the discourse with her sexuality— which also may contribute to the possibility on why I haven’t seen them, if that’s what they involved— as I mentioned in my one-and-done post about it… I don’t want to keep this as a reoccurring theme on the blog as I know that many people will grow tired of it just like I have.

I answer Scarlett centric asks, barring when I answer scenario asks about the family and/or the ROs, mainly due to the fact that she’s the one people single out— if someone sends me an ask about C, or Blake, or anyone else, I’ll answer it… It just happens to be that Scarlett gets the most asks when it comes to that sort of thing— and those asks are typically much easier/faster to answer than the all-in-one asks— I’d be more than happy to answer singular asks about any number of my characters. And I have in the past when someone sends something in.

All I can truly say? If not being able to romance Scarlett is this big of an issue, and I truly am saying this as nicely as I can… I don’t think Midnight Sun is the right IF for you. I believe I know a couple more IFs with an Ice Queen type RO, or adjacent RO, that may suit you better if you’d like to me share them!

And, I’d just like to make this small point, I get upset, or am starting to, because it’s a point I’ve brought up over and over again— Scarlett isn’t a lesbian to create an inconvenience for the player… She’s a lesbian because it’s part of who she is. Sending me asks saying “I can change her” or “Give us Scarlett and the F!MCs Koda” (among other things) is absolutely abhorrent in the best case scenario. There are 7 other ROs for you to choose from— all of which offer their own unique routes and experiences within Midnight Sun.

Scarlett isn’t changing, I’m standing firm with this. I’m not going to ever change my mind about it— I’m sorry if that upsets anyone, but it’s not something I’m backing down on.

[watermelinoe]

Do you feel as though most lesbians on radblr (not all of course) are… you know? Like.. they progressively become more and more biphobic after months or years of being decent. I don’t know if I’m making a lot of sense, but first it was the 22v6 girl, then normallesbian, then menalez, and now heterophobicdyke too.. i know there are more examples but i’m just getting tired of the biphobia on here.. ☹️

honestly i don't think of this as a lesbian problem. afaik 22v6 wasn't a lesbian. i can't really speak on the other users you mentioned bc i don't follow them, i've seen some of the behavior i'm about to describe from some of them but they don't come to mind when i'm thinking of some of the worst things i've seen on here.

radblr in general just has an accountability issue. someone will say something biphobic (or homophobic! afaik that woman who made that homophobic pastor comparison remade and carried right along) and some people will express disapproval, but most will ignore it or try to downplay it and they'll keep interacting with that user. i'll use heterophobicdyke as an example since she's deactivated, but someone in her inbox was complaining that bi women "whine" about our rape and dv statistics, and in her response she completely brushed past it, zero acknowledgement of that being a fucked up thing to say. that's one typical radblr response. downplaying is another. but the worst imo is being accused of being manipulative.

so if we complain about being called dickmunchers on here, we may be told it's just "venting" and to log off and get real problems, but if we mention said real problems (rape and ipv statistics as well as substance abuse and mental illness statistics) then we must be weaponizing those statistics to play the victim in the great lesbian vs bisexual war that we've all been drafted in i guess. bi women are all master manipulators, obviously.

so where does that shit come from? imo, not radblr.

most deranged shit being said about bi women can be traced back to this blackpilled thing. radblr's biggest problem is that instead of saying "hey that's a deranged thing to say," the gyns are more annoyed with bi women for ~making a big deal out of it~ when WE say "hey that's a deranged thing to say." i can make a post documenting some deranged thing someone said and the two responses i will get are: "this is based actually and i hope your nigel kills you" <- some blackpill weirdo orbiting radblr who assumes i'm male-partnered, and "log off if you don't like it" "that's not a radfem" (bonus points if it's about a user that radfems regularly reblog from) <- radfems

and that's not a lesbian thing, the root is just that no one here thinks bisexuality is an oppressed sexual minority. kind of ironic for the "we totally understand class analysis" group. but if it seems worse than before, i think that's because the blackpill thing is sort of in vogue rn, especially with edgy teenagers orbiting radblr.

it would be nice if more women on here would actually stand up for bi women instead of finding a million excuses not to do so. that's what i find frustrating, personally. but it also happens with racism and homophobia all the time. i know it doesn't seem like it bc we have conflict all the fuckin time, but i actually think radblr is overall conflict-avoidant to a fault.

[cy-cyborg]

Hi! I'm trying to include autistic and/or ADHD characters in my stories but I'm afraid I'm not doing a good job. I'm neurotypical, so I fear I might find myself using stereotypes and that's not my intention. Do you have any tips? Thank you in advance, have a nice day!

Ok, so personally I have a lot of trouble coming up with advice for auDHD (autism + ADHD) because, well, the spectrum of experience is so large and there isn't a lot of consistency within the community in regards to what is considered good representation vs just stereotypes. There's a few outliers, like every one I know has agreed Sia's movie "Music" is offensively bad lol, but pretty much everything else I can think of is less clear cut. Generally though, if you want examples of media portrayals of autism done well, avoid anything from or connected to Autism Speaks. They are not a reliable source.

I only really have 3 suggestions:

decide what level of support your character needs. Support needs for autism are variable and they can fluctuate throughout a person's life, but typically, people will fit into one of 3 categories. In Australia it's Level 1, Level 2 and Level 3 with Level 1 is defined as generally being low-support needs, and level 3 being generally very high support needs. Of course, it's a spectrum, so there's massive amounts of variably person-to-person, but as an author, it can be a good idea to pick one of the levels, because you'll typically find more specific information about how autism will present.

Find content creators (as in multiple) with both Autism and ADHD. It's a good idea to listen to the community directly, but when you're writing an AuDHD character in particular, you do need to be aware that those autism and ADHD can play into one another or in some cases, can cancel some traits of each other out (kind of). But it'll be different from person to person. They are very distinct disabilities, but they have some unusual interactions it's vital to be aware of. Ideally, you'll also want to try find auDHD people in the same age range and who are the same gender as your character. Different generations and age groups will treat AuDHD differently, and while It's not a hard and fast thing, both autism and ADHD manifest differently in men and women because of how we are socialized and raised (this applies to trans and nonbinary people too, they'll typically take on traits associated with the gender they were usually raised as, but not always. Personally, I showed a mix of both, but my traits do align more with the typical presentation of AuDHD in girls). Just a little side note, not every person creating content about Autism/ADHD is open to working with authors. Find content creators, listen to them, but don't ask them about your character specifically unless they have stated somewhere that they're open to helping with that kind of thing.

Find sensitivity readers and sensitivity consultants for autism and ADHD. A sensitivity reader goes over your manuscript once the draft is done, but consultants help you from even earlier on in the process. If you're worried about not doing the community justice, this is the best way to go. People online like myself can offer generalized advice, but SR's and SC's will be able to go much more in-depth with you and help you fix moment-to-moment issues in your story.

Some additional things to be mindful of as well when looking up further resources:

Both Autism and ADHD can make it difficult to regulate tone and emotion. This means you are likely going to get information from the community at some point that might not be easy to hear and you're not going to like how its presented to you lol. They're going to be blunt and maybe even "rude". It's not personal (usually lol) but don't expect everyone to be polite, and don't only take criticism from those who are. Tone and emotional regulation is literally a part of both disabilities for a lot of us, and this is a topic a lot of us have strong feelings about to begin with.

I mentioned it already, but avoid taking advice from anything connected to or directly from Autism Speaks.

Social media tends to favor low-support-needs folks, so you'll find info about them, from them, much easier. Even if you're writing a LSN character, be mindful of that bias

Be wary of anyone claiming autism/ADHD is a superpower unironically. This is one of those things that's said by a lot of lower support needs folks and is often a warning sign that they might hold harmful beliefs about other parts of the community and could give you bad info. Just again, something to be aware of when researching.

[musings-of-a-rose]

Love at the Top

Pairing: Teacher Ben x f! Teacher reader

Word Count: 3200+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: This was an ask that was pm to me from @fishingforpike and I couldn't pass! I hope it's what you want (and if you want a smutty part 2 I may be down for writing that)

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

Main Masterlist 

Teacher Ben Masterlist

Love at the Top Part 2

Graduating wasn't easy. Interviewing for my first big job was harder. But the hardest so far is this. Teaching high school English fresh out of college - and I know no one at this school. 

I moved to a new city right after graduation after accepting the English teaching position so not only was it my first real degree job, but it was in a new city with a whole new culture. And I was teaching high school. Which shouldn't be an issue because I'm 24 which means I can still relate to the youth of today, right? 

I hope so.

I completed all of the new hire orientation at the district building. Today I finally get to see my classroom and start setting up while navigating all of the back to school meetings and having everyone point out "the new teacher". I hope there aren't any ice breaker games. 

"Welcome back everyone!" The principal starts the all staff meeting with a typical speel of announcements. 

"Before we continue, let's do some ice breakers to get us into that back to school spirit!" 

Damn. 

He starts to pair us up, trying to match people outside of what they teach. 

"And Ben, you'll be with the new English teacher." He gestures between me and a man I've not met yet. 

Ben turns to face me and my stomach jumps into my throat. He is gorgeous. All dark eyes and graying dark hair, button up shirt tucked into his dress slacks with a tie that says "Science ROCKS!" on it with pictures of rocks all over it. He has black framed glasses which he's taken off his face to fiddle with nervously as he stands, walking to me. 

"H-hi. I'm Ben." He holds his hand out and I shake it, noticing that his palms were slightly sweaty. 

I tell him my name. "Nice to meet you."

We get through the ice breaker game and I find myself crushing hard on Ben with his shirt tucked into his pants. 

The meeting resumes and everyone goes back to their seats. I find myself stealing glances at Ben across the room and I swear I catch his eyes a few times but there's no way he's looking at me, right? 

The meeting ends and I gather up my things, trying to remember how to get to my room from here when I feel someone walk up to me. Turning, I see Ben, shifting nervously from foot to foot. He leans in and speaks quietly to me. 

"Need help getting back to your room?"

"How did you know?"

He smiles and now I know I'm in trouble. "Happens for all of us. What's your room number?"

"Uh…" I check my paper. "148-B." 

"Oh that's not far from me. I'll take you there.. if…if you'd like?"

"I'd love that, thank you."

Ben escorts me to my room and looks around at the bare walls and boxes stacked everywhere.

"You have some work ahead of you."

I sigh. "Oh yeah. I haven't had a moment to unpack anything." 

"Do you want some help?"

"Oh. Um.. I don't think so." Really I'd have him stay but this is my first room and I'd like to set that up myself. 

He smiles but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Ok. Well if you change your mind, I'm in 140-A. Just at the end of the hall." 

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

We stand there for several awkward moments before he gives me a little wave and heads out the door. What the fuck was that? I can't have a crush on a coworker already. 

I start to unpack, the room slowly coming together. I find myself thinking about Ben and when I can't take it anymore, I decide to set aside some posters that I'll say I need help with. 

I head down to his room and take a breath, gently knocking on the door.

"Come in."

I push open the door and have to pause - his room is heavily decorated, earth science posters plaster the walls, stacks of books around the edges, bins and bins of rocks are everywhere. It feels like organized chaos and I love it. Wait, is that a lightsaber in the corner? 

"Oh hey. How's the room coming?" 

"It's..nowhere near as cool as yours."

Is he blushing? "I - my room's a mess. Especially compared to yours I'm sure."

"I think it's wonderful."

"Th-thanks."

A few moments pass before I work up the courage to ask. 

"I- could you help me hang a few things? I just don't want to fall off a chair."

"Y-yeah. Of course!" He walks towards me.

I point to the corner. "Is that a lightsaber?"

Now I know he's blushing. "I uh… yeah." He sounds embarrassed. 

"I have Ashoka's. What color is yours?"

His eyes snap to mine, a light igniting behind them. "Green. You have a lightsaber too?" 

"2, technically. I'd love to get my own at Disney one day."

He smiles wide. "Oh it's a great experience! That's where I got that one from. So you're a Star Wars fan then?"

I nod. "Absolutely."

"Are you old enough to see them in theaters?"

I laugh. "Well not the original ones, but yeah. I was little and they were re-releases but that's when I fell in love. They were my first movies in theaters."

We chat about Star Wars all the way back to my room and while he puts up the posters I could've easily hung myself. Once he finishes, he turns to me, dropping his voice quieter than normal. 

"Ok, want the real low down on the school?"

"Ooo yes!"

He chuckles. "Ok my young Padawan." He launches into a mini Ted talk about the best bathrooms, which stairs cases to avoid, the sticky elevator, which lunch lady will sneak you extra food, although I have a sneaking suspicion that applies to Ben only. 

"Thank you so much, Ben! What would I have done without you?"

He waves a hand. "I'm sure you would've been fine."

"Can I buy you lunch tomorrow?"

He starts coughing violently but waves me off when I move to help him. "What?"

"As a thank you. Can I buy you lunch?"

"Oh really you don't have to."

"Of course I don't. But I want to. What are the good spots?"

"You don't want to go to lunch with an old man like me."

I blow a raspberry at him. "Please. You aren't old."

"I'm 47. And you're what, 20?"

"24. And stop acting like you're 120. You're only 47."

"It's a 23 year difference."

"So you've done the math between us?"

What did I just say?

He blushes hard, hands not sure whether they want to settle on his hips or cross his broad chest. "N-no. I mean it's simple math."

I nod, trying to hide my own embarrassment. "It is. But it's not bad. We get along just fine, don't we?"

He opens and closes his mouth a few times. "I-yeah but…wouldn't your boyfriend mind?"

Is he fishing? 

"It's a thank you lunch so it wouldn't matter even if I had a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend."

He says nothing, studying me. "A simple thank you is just fine, Padawan."

"No matter how much I insist, you're going to turn me down aren't you?" 

He nods. "Afraid so."

"Suit yourself. I was going to see if we could catch the early bird special."

He puts his hand on his chest in mock shock. "Is that an old person joke?"

"It would be if you were old."

—----

That first week back for teachers flies by, mostly thanks to Ben. He's helped me decorate and setup nearly my entire room, helping me with every vision I had as "It's your first classroom so you decorate it how you want." 

Then it's time for students. 

Ben comes in early that first day and drops by my room, quietly handing me a cup of coffee he'd brought me from a local coffee shop, telling me I'll be brilliant on my first day after seeing the nerves in my eyes. 

"You've learned so much, Padawan. They'll love you. Just don't show them any weakness and you'll be good."

"What?"

He waves, giving me a smirk as he heads back through the door. "You'll be great!"

Somehow I make it to lunch without vomiting. The kids were actually not too bad so far. And I get to see Ben at lunch. 

He's saved me a seat, sliding me a peanut butter cup when I sit across from him in the teacher's lounge. 

"How did you know I needed this?" I ask him, eagerly peeling back the paper and stuffing the entire cup into my mouth. 

He smiles. "I just had a feeling."

—----

We settle into a routine, spending our lunch time chatting about anything and everything, popping into each other's classrooms with some random excuse to just say hi, students or not.

A  couple months later, one of my students approaches me, handing me her class work as I take a sip of water.

"Miss, are you dating Mr. Ben?"

I choke on my water, throwing my hands in the air. "I-what?"

She's smiling at me. "You're dating aren't you?"

"Uh… no we aren't. We're just good friends."

"Uh huh."

"Why would you ask that?"

"You're just always with each other. I thought you were together."

I bring this up to Ben when I drop by his room during planning period. He blushes furiously, red creeping up his cheeks as he removes his glasses to wipe at them nervously. 

"What, uh what did you tell her?"

"That we weren't dating. Just good friends."

He nods, his eyes looking a little sad. "I can't believe they'd think you'd date an old fart like me."

I laugh. "You're not that old, how many times do I have to tell you that?"

"You're closer to them in age than to me."

He's not wrong. 

"That's just numbers. Besides, none of them have those little gray hairs in their hair."

His fingers come up to run at his hair. "Is there something wrong with it?"

"Not at all. Trust me, it works."

His eyes meet mine and they shift ever so slightly down to my lips before flicking back up. He opens his mouth to say something bit then the bell rings, extinguishing any sort of spark we felt in that moment. 

—-----

The State Fair comes to town and it's all the students can talk about. Apparently it's a big thing here and so, I decide not to give them homework and even push back their planned test, which earns me a class full of whoops and hollers every period. 

At lunch, I mention this to Ben who chuckles and says I may have surpassed him as favorite teacher now. 

"Oh please, all the kids love you."

He chuckles and shakes his head. "I have no clue why."

"Really? You're a fantastic teacher and really take the time to get on their level so they understand the subject."

He stares at me. "You- you think?"

"I love watching you teach. It's obvious you care and the kids can pick up on that."

He blushes, red dusting his cheeks as he turns to his sandwich, mumbling a "thanks".

"So this state fair is a big thing?"

He nods, swallowing the bite of sandwich. "Huge. It's not small either, has concerts and livestock shows, typical fair food and rides, and a bunch of other stuff."

"Sounds fun. I've never been to a fair."

He chokes and I jump, moving around the table to thump him on the back. 

"Y-you've never b-been to a fair before?"

I shake my head. "Nope. Parents didn't want to pay for it."

"Well you have to go then!"

"By myself?"

"Fairs aren't fun alone. I'll take you."

Silence stretches between us as his eyes grow wide when he realizes what he said. 

"I mean as friends, of course."

I smile, letting it not reach my eyes. "Of course."

"I uh… I'll pick you up Saturday morning?"

"Sounds perfect."

—----

I swear I've tried on everything I own and I can't settle on something to wear. It's not like it's a date, but it feels like something… more. I don't know how to explain it but I know I want to wear non school work clothes. 

I finally settle on a sundress, pale green with embroidered flowers and vines running across it and pair it with some short boots, not wanting to walk across dirt in sandals. 

The knock at my door comes promptly at 11am, exactly when he said he'd pick me up. I grab my bag and open the door, smiling wide at his choice of black slacks and a light blue top that somehow brings out his eyes. I've never seen this man in a color that he can't pull off. 

"HI Ben! Wait…does your bow tie have little Earths on it?"

He smiles nervously, fingers twisting his bow tie. "Yeah it does! Do you like it?"

"I do!"

His smile is brighter, but then his eyes rake down my body and something shifts in him, his eyes becoming darker.

"Y-you look…"

"Oh. Is this not fair appropriate? I can change-"

"No! I mean, no. It's perfect. You're perfect."

"What?"

"I uh said come on let's go."

—----

He wasn't kidding - this fair is huge. 

He insists on paying, buying parking and my entrance ticket, helping me decide which fair foods to try as I'd never had any of them. We hit up the petting zoo, a livestock show that one of our mutual students was competing in, and looked at all of the vendors, some selling some really unique things. 

Then it was time for rides. 

We went on several different ones before I needed a break, noticing the relief on Ben's face when I insisted we rest. The sun was starting to set, so Ben said we should rest on the ferris wheel. 

"You have to catch the sunset from the ferris wheel," he insists. 

I don't have the heart to tell him I'm not a huge fan of heights. 

We get in the cart and pull the bar down and I think I'm doing OK���until we move. The second we start to ascend, my hand flies out and I grip Ben's thigh, trying to basically insert myself into his lap. 

"Are you ok?" He asks as we continue to climb, cart stopping every few feet to let someone else in. 

"I… I'm g-good."

"You're gripping my thigh."

I try to let go but I can't. "Ok… I'm terrified of heights."

We make it to the top and the wheel starts to move slowly around and I think I'm going to lose it. 

Ben hesitantly puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side. He squeezes me slightly, adding just enough pressure to calm me. His other hand lays on top of mine, which is still gripping his thigh. He manages to slide his fingers around mine, the warmth from his hand grounding me in the moment. He rubs his thumb along the back of my hand, trying to comfort me. We stay like that through 2 rotations of the wheel before it stops, us at the top. 

"Why is it s-stopped?"

"It's to take in the view. But you don't have to."

I nod. "I think I'm doing b-better." 

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

He chuckles sarcastically. "Ha-ha. But seriously, why did you agree to the ferris wheel if you're not a fan of heights?"

The cart rocks and I squeeze him harder, unable to think clearly. "To be with you."

He stiffens. "To..what?"

The cart sways again and my grip tightens. 

"I want to see the sunset."

He rubs his hand up and down my arm. "You don't have to." 

"No. I want to."

I take a deep breath and open my eyes, immediately starting to breathe faster as my eyes take in the height. 

"Hey, padawan, look at me."

My terror filled eyes find his, soft and warm and comforting, and I find myself relaxing, getting lost in those brown eyes I love so much. His hand comes up to tuck some hair behind my ear and his fingers brush my cheek. 

I sigh, the tension leaving my body the longer we stay like that. His eyes flick down to my lips and linger for a few seconds before meeting my eyes again. 

I take my hand from his and place it on his chest, gently, hesitantly, gripping his shirt and tugging slightly on it to pull him toward me. He acquiesces, slowly lowering his head to mine, but then he pauses, lips an inch from mine. 

"I'm 47."

"I don't care."

I tug him ever so slightly again and a moment later, he pushes his lips to mine, mustache tickling me as he kisses me. It's gentle, restrained, as if he can't believe he's kissing me. He pulls back, dark eyes finding mine, wide and asking if that was ok. 

I slide my hand up to his cheek, rubbing my thumb over his patchy stubble before sliding it behind his head, pulling him down to me, deepening the kiss the second our lips meet. I feel his hand come up to cradle the back of my head and he sighs into me, pulling me as close as he can, a slight moan in the back of his throat. 

He pulls back, but stays close, eyes meeting mine. 

"Are…are you sure? I'm such an old man."

"I really like you, Ben. Like a lot. But I don't want to make you uncomfortable-"

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

My finger traces a pattern on his cheek and he closes his eyes briefly before finding mine again. 

"You could never make me uncomfortable. You're the only person I've ever felt like I could be myself with."

Oh God, his eyes are like a puppies' and I don't know what to do.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Would it be bad of me to make out with you before the first date?"

I mock thinking, finger poking at my chin. "I'll allow it."

"Oh thank God."

His lips pressed to mine and the kiss is more frantic, deeper, more emotion behind it than before. Like he's relaxing and allowing himself this chance at happiness. 

I clutch him to me, my leg sliding over his as I try to slide into his lap, forgetting about the lap bar. And the fact we're in public. Ben chuckles, placing his hand hesitantly on my bare thigh.

"Not here, sweet girl. Too many eyes. And I want you all for myself."

-------

Love at the Top Part 2

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[kirain]

I've been on this site for over ten years and I've never had to do this, but sadly the time has come where I feel forced to make a call out post, if only for the safety of my blog.

Please do not harass this person. PLEASE DO NOT HARASS THEM! That is not my goal here. That said, I do suggest you avoid them at all costs, for your own safety and sanity.

A few days ago, I made a post responding to some anonymous hate I received regarding Gale Dekarios, a character from BG3. An account named Turtwg, who has now changed her name to Shdowheart, took issue with the content and tone of my post. Instead of simply blocking me, she attacked me and several other people in the notes, and accused me of sending the anon to myself.

I responded, arguing against her accusations and a few other remarks she made. Just typical fandom discourse. Or so I thought.

I regret it now (only because I've lost some evidence), but I deleted many of her and my messages. They were clogging up my post and veering extremely off topic, but eventually she admitted I didn't send the anon to myself. When I asked her how she knew that, she said she traced the anon to a Gale-centric account. You see, she believed the anon wasn't sent by an Astarion fan, but by a Gale fan trying to create discourse. In a normal situation, I'd say that's a fair assumption for anyone to make, but something seemed off.

First of all, despite several people telling her it's not possible to track down blogs through their anonymous messages, she insisted she found the user responsible—which honestly made me wonder if she sent the anon herself, hoping to create drama. If she did, then mission accomplished, I guess. We messaged back and forth in the notes for a while, with me commenting on both the impossibility and morality of tracking down an anonymous user. During that time, her responses to me were lightning fast. Constant. Remember that for later.

Second, she soon told me she had the anon's IP address, which she said she'd "happily send me". I told her an IP address doesn't prove anything because it can be photoshopped and a lot of people use VPNs. I also pointed out how utterly insane it is to dox/cyberstalk someone over a post about a video game. It's really not that serious. But out of sheer curiosity, I told her to give me the blog name. Not because I believed her, but because I was curious to see if she'd accuse a popular blog or someone who could defend themselves. The moment I asked, she went silent for nearly an hour. 🤔

When she came back, she gave me the name of an account called Dekariosbf. She told me to message the account, so I did, though I made no accusations against them yet. As I waited for a reply, I accused Turtwg of making the account herself, as it was barren with no activity whatsoever. No likes, no posts, nothing. She easily could've created the account during that hour of peace. Moreover, after she gave me the account name and I accused her of creating it, her responses were once again lightning fast. 🤔

As we argued, I sent my brother-in-law and a friend of mine a link to my blog and had them read through the discourse. They don't have Tumblr accounts, but they're both computer nerds and my brother-in-law literally works with computers/programs for a living. I asked them if anything Turtwg said was valid, and they (along with someone else in the notes who claimed to work in UI/UX) confirmed that no, absolutely nothing she said was valid. Tumblr pays for a service that protects their users, and the only way to trace anons is by using extremely unsavory and illegal methods ... and even then it's extremely unlikely to work.

Speaking of, my brother-in-law eventually messaged me and told me he found the actual account that sent the anon. I stupidly believed him and jumped the gun on that, because it turns out he was just being a shit disturber. That said, I used this information to call Turtwg out on her lies. In response, Dekariosbf miraculously (and in a rather timely fashion) responded to me. Unfortunately I don't have any screenshots of this interaction, but I'll explain why in a moment.

Dekariosbf was chatty and cordial at first. I asked them for their main account name, but they refused to give it, saying they only use it for poetry; which, as you can see from the screenshot, directly contradicts their bio, but I digress. I was suspicious, but also kept in mind the possibility that this might've been an innocent person Turtwg accused. For a while we shot the shit, talking back and forth about BG3, reading, teaching—but I did this for a reason. I wanted to get a feel for their writing style. Sure enough, they wrote exactly like Turtwg. Same spelling mistakes, same pattern of punctuation, same use of lower case letters instead of capital letters, same abbreviations, etc.

Finally, when I was sure it was her, I dropped the bomb. I very gently told "Dekariosbf" that someone named Turtwg accused them of sending me a hateful Gale anon, but that I didn't believe it. Low and behold, they did a complete 180.

"Yes, it was me. It was totally me. I just LOVE your blog and RESPECT you so much. I LOVE Gale and I wanted to know what you'd say if I sent that anon. It wasn't meant to be hateful. Please don't write a call out post about me. Please don't tell your followers. I mean, I understand if you do, but please don't. Turtwg messaged me and threatened to dox me and sent me a photo of my IP address. She's so smart, I don't think you should mess with her. Oh and my mom can't speak English. If we get doxxed, I think it would kill her."

Right...

I said I didn't believe them and accused them of being Turtwg on a sock account. They kept insisting they weren't, begged me to believe they sent the anon (and I mean they were desperate for me to believe it), and very strangly didn't express any anger or confusion over the situation. When I brought up the accusation, they completely changed their tone from friendly to "oh yeah, that was me". I kept saying I didn't believe them, particularly because of what my brother-in-law said, but promised not to call any attention to them. I was happy to simply let the matter rest. Suddenly, mid conversation, they deleted their entire blog. Poof. It's gone now, along with all our messages.

I thought that would be the end of it, but not even five minutes after Dekariosbf flung themselves into the void, Turtwg herself DMed me out of nowhere and accused me of trying to hack her account, presumably because I told "Dekariosbf" that my brother-in-law is computer savvy. Keep in mind that before this moment, our entire conversation took place in the notes of my post. I never DMed her, nor did I have any intention of doing so. I also had absolutely no idea what she was talking about, I just knew she was lying to me. Now it looks as though she's ramping up to lie to the Tumblr admins in order to get my account deleted.

And all because my post about a video game made her angry.

I really hate drawing attention to this. You can see in my other posts that I always censor people's usernames, but as I said at the beginning ... I don't feel like I have a choice this time. I want this up so the Tumblr admins or whoever can see it.

Turtwg has attacked other people for posting their opinions as well. For example, she attacked this person just because they expressed their opinon on wyllsterion. She went so far as to call them racist when Wyll is literally one of their favourite characters. She just got mad because they don't think Wyll and Astarion make sense together; a perfectly valid opinion. And I only know about this because I received messages warning me about interacting with Turtwg/Shdowheart from someone who recognised them in the notes of my post.

I guess I should've blocked her from the start, but I've said many times in the past that I enjoy a good debate. Plus I was genuinely curious to see how far she was willing to take her lie. Unfortunately, I underestimated just how unhinged she truly is. On her own blog, she's even admitted that she's had to make a new account seven times, likely due to other drama she started.

I was very hesitant to put this in the BG3 tags, but since that seems to be the fandom she interacts with the most, I figured it would be a fair warning to anyone else she might harass. She's particularly active in the Astarion/Wyll/Wyllsterion tags. Stay safe, everyone. I think I'll sign off for a while. I'm tired, and this has somehow become the most toxic fandom I've ever dared to be a part of.

Please do not harass this person. PLEASE DO NOT HARASS THEM! That is not my goal here. That said, I do suggest you avoid them at all costs, for your own safety and sanity.