#also i just wanted to give him a silly hat call that a nightmare wizard

[valentronic]

nightmare ref thing for a au thingy! no i will never be able to keep his design consistent (but i like this one)

[longitudinalwaveme]

A Pipe Dream

The Flash stars in: A Pipe Dream

Dramatis Personae

Wally West, the garrulous, impulsive, and friendly third Flash

Joan Garrick, Jay Garrick’s wife, who is patient, loving, and supportive of everyone

Iris Allen, Barry Allen’s wife, an inquisitive daredevil reporter

The Pied Piper, alias Hartley Rathaway, a Robin Hood-esque thief

The Top, alias Roscoe Dillon, an arrogant, elitist, and top-obsessed criminal

Weather Wizard, alias Mark Mardon, an overconfident, rather stupid robber

Heat Wave, alias Mick Rory, a dim, shockingly gentle pyromaniac

Script

Act I

(Joan and Iris are onstage)

Iris: So, how’s Jay?

Joan: He’s doing well enough, I suppose, but, to be honest, I’m a little worried about him. He keeps claiming that he’s retired from crime fighting, but every time I turn around, he’s wearing that silly hat of his and racing off to fight bank robbers or carjackers or giant, murderous, telepathic gorillas. It was one thing when he was fifty, but now he’s 99 years old, and the doctors say that his heart won’t be able to take much more of his running at super speed.

Iris: What does he say about that?

Joan: That (strikes a heroic pose) “ it will be a pleasure to die in the line of duty.”

Iris: (Laughs) That sounds just like Barry.

Joan: I know, and it’s not funny. Our husbands spend so much time saving everyone else that they never stop to worry about themselves.

Iris: I guess that’s true-but hey, that’s part of what we’re here for, to make sure our husbands take some “me time” occasionally.

Joan: In speaking of husbands, how’s Barry?

Iris: He’s not doing so well. He came down with the flu a few days ago, and I’ve been going crazy trying to keep him from leaving his bed so that he can go fight crime.

Joan: Oh, I’ve had that happen with Jay before. Once, when he had pneumonia, he heard about a shoplifting ring, and I had to call in Ted and Alan-you know them as Wildcat and the original Green Lantern-to physically restrain him so that he wouldn’t leave the house to go stop them.

Iris: Well, I haven’t had to resort to calling the Justice League to restrain Barry yet, so things could be worse.

Joan: You’re right. Things could be worse. We could be having to deal with two sick speedsters each. Or a sick Superman!

Iris: Man, that would be a nightmare. I have no idea how that Lois Lane woman does it.

Joan: Maybe Clark just doesn’t get sick. After all, he isn’t a human, so maybe our diseases don’t affect him and he’s as invulnerable to getting sick as he is to everything else.

Iris: Maybe so.

(Enter Wally)

Wally: Hi, Joan. Hi, Aunt Iris. (Sneezes) How are you?

Iris: Hi, Wally. We’re doing all right. How are you?

Wally: I’m fine, but Linda and the kids all have the flu (Sneezes) and the twins also both have strep. (Sneezes) It sure is lucky that I don’t get sick, or we’d have a real mess on our hands.

Iris: Um, Wally, are you sure you’re not sick?

Wally: Yeah, I’m sure. (Sneezes three times) I never get sick. I had perfect attendance all throughout school, and you can check my records if you don’t believe me.

Joan: Can you at least try to take it easy, Wally?

Wally: I can’t do that! Jay’s retired and Uncle Barry has the flu, and someone has to protect the city! Besides, I can’t deny my adoring fans the chance to see me because I have a few sniffles. (Sneezes) I’ll be fine!

Iris: (To Joan) Is there a single superhero in the entire world who actually rests when they get sick?

Joan: Speaking from experience, I don’t think there is.

Wally: I said that I’m fine! (Sneezes) So, do you want to get lunch? I’m starving!

Iris: Wally, it’s 8:00 in the morning!

Wally: Okay, so let’s get brunch!

Iris: But I just ate breakfast!

Wally: I don’t follow. (Sneezes) I just ate breakfast, too, and I’m already hungry again.

Joan: Wally, dear, you have to consume 980,000 calories per day just to survive, so you have to eat almost constantly. We simply don’t have the appetite or the metabolism to keep up with you.

Wally: Oh, right. I forget that fact a lot-especially (Sneezes) since my kids inherited my metabolism and have to (Sneezes) eat even more than I do.

Iris: It’s all right, Wally.

Wally: So, um, do you want to go to McDonalds with me (Sneezes) and watch me eat? With Linda and the kids all sick, I’ve been cooped up in the house for a week, and I’m going stir-crazy!

Iris: I suppose so. After all, with Barry sick, I haven’t been able to get out much, either.

Joan: I’ll go, too. After all, if you really are sick despite your claims, someone needs to keep an eye on you so that you don’t run yourself into the ground.

Wally: Great! I love you guys so much, and I can’t wait to sink my teeth into (Sneezes) 340 Big Macs! I love McDonalds food!

Iris: (Shakes head) Never change, Wally. Never change.

(Exit All)

Act II

(The Pied Piper is onstage, playing an instrument. Enter the Top)

Top: Top of the morning to you, Piper.

Piper: Oh, good, you were able to make it. Did you have any trouble getting here?

Top: No. There is not a person in this city who would dare inconvenience the Top.

Piper: What about our friends in the red pajamas?

Top: Don’t make me laugh, Piper. The old one is feeble and retired, the young one is impulsive and stupid, and the only one that poses a threat has the flu, and therefore cannot be on top of his game. They could not bother me if they tried. What of you, my friend? Are you still in tip- top shape, or has your life spun out of control?  

Piper: I’m as fit as a fiddle, Roscoe. The Flashes have no reason to hunt down a peaceable man who steals money from drug lords and self-absorbed starlets and gives it to the poor. In fact, if I could only make them realize that the real villains are the members of the 1% who enrich themselves at the expense of the poor, we would be good friends.

Top: But I heard you were homeless?

Piper: I am.

Top: How, exactly, did that come to pass?

Piper: Well, after my last heist, I was going to buy an apartment for myself, but while I was on my way to buying it, I saw a very pregnant woman with two small children crying, and when I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she was trying to escape from her abusive boyfriend but that she had no money, and so I gave her the money and told her to use it to make a good life for herself and her children, and so I was unable to buy anything.

Top: You gave all of the money away?

Piper: Of course! They needed it more than I did.

Top: You, sir, are a fool. This is the fifth time that you have given up a permanent home to help some wretch-the fifth time!

Piper: Roscoe, you of all people should understand what it is like to be an outcast. How can you criticize my desire to help others that the world has forgotten?

Top: Because I am a genius, something that decidedly does not apply to the people for whom you constantly risk your freedom and your own safety.

Piper: Roscoe, my early life was spent in scandalous luxury, luxury that my parents took at the expense of the poor who helped build their empire. It’s only fair that I go without to help them now. (Pause) So, do you know if anyone else is coming to our little meeting?

Top: No. I do not concern myself with the behavior of lesser men like them.

(Enter Heat Wave)

Heat Wave: Hi, Piper! Hi, Top! Seeing you two really warms my heart! (Hugs Piper)

Piper: Mick, I love hugs, but…I….can’t….breathe!

Heat Wave: Oh, sorry. (Releases him)

Piper: Hi, Mick. How have you been?

Heat Wave: I’m okay. I was burning up with fever a couple days ago, but I’m all better now.

Piper: I’m glad to hear that. Do you know if any of the others are coming?

Heat Wave: Captain Cold won’t be here. He’s got a bad case of the chills , and besides, he’s still in prison, and so is Mirror Master. They say hi.

Piper: And what about Glider?

Top: My love is on vacation in the Bahamas. She won’t be able to come.

Piper: Wait. I thought you said that you didn’t know if anyone else could come!

Top: Did I? Oh. My apologies.

Piper: (To Heat Wave) Do you know if Digger is coming?

Heat Wave: He won’t be coming. He broke his leg and told me that he didn’t feel like messing with crutches when I brought him chocolate and flowers.

Piper: Okay, and what about Mardon?

Heat Wave: I don’t know. Last I heard, he was feeling a little under the weather.

(Enter Weather Wizard)

Wizard: Nope, I’m as right as rain!

Piper: Hi, Mark!

Wizard: Hi, Piper! Hey, Mick.

Heat Wave: How’ve you been? I heard you were sick.

Wizard: Nope. I’ve just been taking it easy.

Top: What a surprise.

Wizard: What’s that supposed to mean?

Top: It means that you are a lazy fool who hasn’t done a day’s work in his life.

Wizard: Am not! Why, I stole an entire tractor-trailer full of sports cars in an hour once!

Top: Yes, by sitting on your couch and allowing a tornado to detach the trailer from the cab of the truck and deliver the loot to your house.

Wizard: So? You can’t fault me for conserving energy!

Top: “Conserving energy”, my foot.

Wizard: What’s the matter, Top? Are you jealous of my power?

Top: No. I simply think it is wasted on a man who uses it only to commit petty thefts.

Wizard: (Raises weather wand) Petty? (Waves wand) I’ll show you petty! (Thunderclap)

Heat Wave: Whoa there, Mark, let’s not get hasty. I don’t want you to do something in the heat of the moment that you’ll regret-like destroying this building with all of us in it!

Piper: Mick’s right, Mark. It’s too dangerous to get into a fight here.

Wizard: (Lowers weather wand) Fine. But if you expect me to take his stupid comments forever, you’re chasing rainbows, Piper.

Piper: (to Top) Roscoe, please don’t antagonize Mark. You really don’t want him to make you face the music .

Top: I am not afraid of him, Piper.

Wizard: Well, you should be, because if you don’t start respecting me, our little truce will be nothing more than the calm before the storm!

Top: Whatever you say, Mardon. Whatever you say. (Pause) Shall we get down to business?

Heat Wave: Yeah, we should. Who has a plan for our next heist?

Piper: I do, actually, so if you don’t mind, I’ll be calling the tune on this job. You see, some friends of my parents are importing some very fine jewelery, and I think that those jewels will make for a tidy sum for the poor….

Act III

(Wally, Iris, and Joan are sitting at a table)

Wally: Boy, that was delicious! (Sneezes) I don’t care what Uncle Barry says-McDonalds has the best food in the world!

Joan: It isn’t exactly the healthiest food, you know.

Wally: Yeah, I know-but with the way I burn calories (Sneezes) , it isn’t going to hurt me any!

Iris: Um, I’m not sure that’s how it works, Wally.

Wally: Well, even if it isn’t, I’m young and it tastes good, so who cares?

Joan: I do, for one.

Iris: And so do I.

Wally: Good grief! When are you two (Sneezes) going to stop treating me like a little kid?

Iris: Wally, I watched you grow up. It’s going to take awhile for me to adjust-especially when you keep acting like a crazy teenager.

Wally: I don’t act like a crazy teenager! (Sneezes) I act like a crazy adult!

Joan: Wally, there isn’t much difference between a crazy teenager and a crazy adult.

Wally: Oh, yeah? (Sneezes) Prove it!

Joan: The Trickster.

Wally: Yeah, you’ve pretty much got me there. (Sneezes) Sorry I’m so annoying.

Joan: It’s all right. You’re not annoying most of the time, dear.

Iris: Just some of the time.

Wally: I love you guys. (Sneezes) So, what should we do next?

Iris: We could go shoe shopping. I’ve been needing a new pair of heels.

Wally: No! Not shoe shopping! Linda’s taken me on enough shoe shopping trips to last a lifetime! (Sneezes)

Iris: I was only kidding, Wally.

Wally: Good. Oooh, why don’t we get ice cream?

Joan: You can get ice cream. It probably isn’t a good idea for us to get it.

Wally: Yes! (Disappears, then returns with ice cream and cake)

Joan: Where did you get the cake from?

Wally: China. (Sneezes) They make everything there these days.

Iris: (Laughs) You ran all the way to China just to get cake?

Wally: Well, I was aiming for Hungary, but I overshot.

Joan: How did you overshoot Hungry? You have a full-time residency there.

Wally: Huh? (Pauses, then laughs) Oh, I get it! That’s hilarious, Joan!  

Joan: Why thank you, Wally. I think you and your aunt are rubbing off on me.

Iris: I’m glad we decided to do this. Barry’s a dear, but when he gets sick, he can be a bit of a nightmare.

Wally: Wait, Uncle Barry can be a nightmare?

Iris: Believe it or not, yes. Now, he’s not rude or whiny, but he keeps trying to leave his bed and stop crimes instead of resting so that he can get well, and it’s very irritating to make him stay put, because he gives me these really sad puppy dog eyes when I tell him to stay at home.

Wally: Hah! I knew he (Sneezes) had a weakness besides punctuality!

Joan: All three of you have that weakness, Wally.

Wally: I do not! (His phone rings) Sorry. I need to take this. (Pulls out phone) Hello, Commissioner? The Rogues? What are they doing? Mmm-hmm. Uh-huh. All right. I’ll be there as soon as possible, Commish! (Sneezes) You’re welcome. Good-bye. (Puts away phone) Sorry, guys, I’ve gotta run! The Rogues are trying to steal some jewelry, and I need to stop them.

Iris: No problem, Wally. Go get them!

Joan: And be careful!

(Exit Wally)

Iris: You know, just once, I would like to have an outing that isn’t interrupted by criminals, the Rogues, telepathic gorillas, or aliens who want to take over the world.

Joan: I fully agree with you, Iris. (Pause) Would you like to go shoe shopping with me while he’s gone?

Iris: That sounds terrific, Joan.

Commercial Break!

Act IV

(Enter the Rogues, running)

Piper: (Yelling over his shoulder) Thank you for your generous donation to the poor, Mr. Englewood!

Top: Oh, that was terrific fun! I’m feeling on top of the world right now!

Heat Wave: You’re right, Top. There’s nothing like a nice heist with all of my bestest friends to give me those nice warm and fuzzy feelings.

Wizard: Tell me about it. I’m on cloud nine!

Top: What are you going to do with your money, Piper? I am going to buy a nice suit and some new tops for my collection.

Heat Wave: I’m going to buy some presents for all of my friends so that I can warm their hearts. I’m sure Captain Cold will love a new parka.

Top: I was not asking you, you imbecile.

Heat Wave: Oh. I’m sorry, Top.

Top: Just be sure it does not happen again.

Wizard: I’m going to buy me a new car so that I can finally get a girlfriend!

Top: That will never happen, Mark, and I was not asking you either.

Wizard: Well gee, thanks for destroying my ray of hope, Roscoe.

Top: Moron. (To Piper) Well, my friend? What are you going to do with your share of the loot?

Piper: I’m going to donate it to a charity for sick children. The cries of joy that will produce will be music to my ears.

Top: You are giving away your money again? (Pause) I do not believe you.

Piper: What’s so wrong about wanting to help people?

(Enter Wally)

Wally: Because you’re going about it all wrong, Piper.

Wizard: By the four seasons! It’s the Flash!

Top: Not to worry, Mardon. This one is a mere child. (To Wally) Spin.

Wally: Whoa! (Stumbles, but keeps his balance) You should become a ride at Disney World or something, Top, because you make me just as dizzy.

Heat Wave: It’s time for you to take the heat, Kid Flash! (Fires at Wally, who narrowly dodges)

Wally: No thanks!

Wizard: (Waves his wand) We’re too powerful for you to stop, Flash. Why don’t you take a rain check?

Wally: No way! Defeating a bunch of clowns like you will be a breeze!

Top: Perhaps. Then again, perhaps not. (Spins out of Wally’s way)

Heat Wave: This situation is too hot for you to handle, Flash! You should leave before you get hurt or something.

Wally: Get hurt by one of you? Yeah, right. (He sneezes, and Top grabs him from behind)

Top: You were saying?

Wizard: Nighty night, Flash. (Raises his wand, and Wally sneezes again, causing the wand to go flying out of his hand) My wand!

Wally: (Breaks free) Nice try, Mardon. (He handcuffs Wizard and Top to one another)

Heat Wave: Hey, nobody hurts my friends like that!

Wally: (Taps him on the shoulder) You need better friends. (Handcuffs him to a lamp)

Piper: Flash, I’m not going to fight you. I abhor violence, as a general rule, and I know as well as anyone that my musical hypnosis doesn’t work well on you. However, before you take me away, I want to ask you something. Mr. Englewood hardly needs more money, and everyone knows that his factories are some of the most hazardous in the country for his workers. Why is it so wrong that I take money from him and give it to children who are dying from preventable diseases because of lack of money? You can’t argue that he deserves it more than they do, and he’s wealthy enough that he won’t even miss the money we took from him. Can’t you at least let me give the money away before you take me to jail? Please?

Wally: Piper, if I’m being honest, part of me wants to let you, but here’s the thing. I can’t let you break the law in order to help people. I’m sorry.

Piper: That’s all right. You’re just doing what you were told is right. I can’t fault you for that.

(Wally handcuffs him)

Wally: A word of advice, Piper? If you really want to help the poor, and I think you do, I think you’ll find it more rewarding if you do it on the right side of the law.

(Exit Wally)

Wizard: Well, that was a bust.

Top: For once, Mardon, we agree about something.

Heat Wave: Hey, guys, look at the bright side! At least we’re all still together.

Wizard: True. Nobody can call us fair-weather friends!

Heat Wave: And you know what’s even better? When we go back to prison, we can see Captain Cold again!

Top: I’m thrilled.

Wizard: Aww, don’t be such a downer, Top. You should learn to see the silver lining.

Top: I hate you both.

Piper: (Aside) All I wanted was to give the poor justice. Why is that a crime? The idea of people like my parents helping the poor is just a pipe dream...isn’t it?

Act V

(Iris and Joan are onstage. Enter Wally)

Wally: Hi, Iris! Hi, Joan! (Sneezes)

Joan: Oh, hi, Wally. Are you all right?

Wally: I’m okay. (Sneezes) But I think you were right about me being sick. I just took my temperature, and I’m 114 degrees. (Sneezes)

Joan: 114? How are you still alive?

Wally: Because the baseline body temperature for speedsters is 107 degrees.

Joan: Oh, that’s right.

Iris: Were you able to stop the Rogues?

Wally: Yep! (Sneezes) They’re being transported back to prison now, and all the jewelry has been returned. (Sneezes)

Iris: So, what do you want to do now, Wally?

Wally: I want to go home and sleep. (Sneezes) Running around sick won’t help anything.

Iris: Yes! A hero finally sees reason!

Wally: (Sneezes) Oh, and one more thing? Would you mind (Sneezes) donating money to the Children’s Health Foundation? I have a certain….friend who would really appreciate it.

Joan: Of course we will, Wally.

Wally: Thanks. You two are the greatest! (Sneezes)

[philosopherofnothing]

Chapter 2. The Book.

“No fucking way” you muttered, using your left hand to locate the chair behind you. You sat down, your eyes fixed on the little slip of paper being held in your right hand.

You could not believe even for a second that what had just happened was in fact true. It couldn’t be true, it had to be a hallucination. You had probably been drugged on the Underground and were now lying in some side street losing your mind and surely about to get mugged. Edward Redmayne. Eddie Fucking Redmayne had been inside that very shop. And he insisted on purchasing something from you. He could go anywhere else to find that book. Christ, he could have even asked someone to buy it for him. But he didn’t. He picked your shop to buy it because he always walked past it. He even gave you his number so you could call him when the book got there. Who does that? Maybe he was… no, it couldn’t be. It was impossible. He’s just a kind, kind man. How could you believe that Eddie Redmayne was somehow flirting with you? How foolish. Stupid.

----

You contacted the supplier a few times during the week to try and get the books earlier, but the demand was such you were lucky you were even getting them on Friday. You spent all week thinking about what you would say to Eddie when you called him. You had to sound sure of yourself, grounded. No rambling, straight to the point. God, you had to chill down. You were clearly overthinking. It was just a call; a business call.

Luckily, the shop was so busy during the week there were few moments in which you could actually sit down and think of what was about to come. Then Friday finally came and you were a bundle of nerves. You had called the supplier several times on Thursday to make sure you were indeed getting the books. You had rearranged your outfit for the following day three different times before you actually settled for one. You had set your alarm an hour earlier so you could get to the shop at 8 and wait for the supplier… and maybe call Eddie. But your hopes were shattered when on Friday you saw the growing queue that had formed outside the shop as soon as you turned around the corner. There were mostly people wearing robes and big two-colour scarves; some of them also had wands and hats. You knew you had to hide one of the copies if you ever wanted to talk to Eddie again. You greeted and thanked the customers with a polite smile as you walked into the shop, reassuring them that they would go in as soon as you signed the delivery form. Thank God the supplier hadn’t arrived yet; that gave you a little bit of time to make the so desired call.

Once at the desk and with everything ready, you sat down and opened one of the drawers that was under lock and key. You grabbed the slip of paper - yes, you were keeping Edward Redmayne’s phone number in a locked drawer- and proceeded to save it on your phone. Just when you were about to call him, a Gmail notification popped up on the screen: an email from the mailing company saying that your parcel was reaching destination. You quickly searched through your contact list and tapped Eddie’s name. You held your breath as you waited for the call to get through but it went straight to voicemail. Ok, Emma, think fast.

“Hey, E-Eddie. This is Emma. Emma Cook? From Erised Books. I just wanted to let you know that your book is already here, but we have a bit of a predicament. You see, there are a lot of people waiting outside to buy it too.  Er- don’t get me wrong, I’ve already saved a copy for you, but I don’t think coming here now or even later is a sensible move. Today I’m closing at about 6, so why don’t you come round at 6.30? I’m looking forward to hearing from you!”

I’m looking forward to hearing from you? Who the fuck are you, Queen Elizabeth? You sure are as daft as they come you cursed yourself, feeling utterly embarrassed. Even if you had had a slight chance with Eddie, you surely had ruined it with that dumb voice message. But the show had to go on, and as soon as the delivery van came through and every book was placed where it was supposed to be, you opened the door to the shop and hoped for the best.

----

“Ahhh, finally” you groaned as you plopped down on your chair. It was 6.15; everything was in their place and the door sign read “CLOSED” now. The day had been a nightmare but fruitful nonetheless, and now it was finally over. The books had sold out like hot cakes; every single copy you had received was gone. Puff. Vanished. Well… all but one. You could see it peeking out from under a box below your desk: Eddie’s copy.  You didn’t know what to do with it. Should you put it in a bag, like everyone else’s copies? Or maybe you could wrap it up and give it to him as a present. Actually, that wasn’t such a bad idea. Even though you knew it was stupid, you didn’t feel very comfortable with him paying for the book. Plus, you were an amazing gift wrapper. You rummaged through your drawers and boxer for the prettiest wrapping paper you could find.

“Aha!” you exclaimed as you pulled out a roll of dark blue paper with yellow wizard hats on it. “Perfect for the occasion,”

Just as you were giving it the final touches -a blue bow with curly ends and a small card that said “Congratulations!” on it- you heard a knock on the door, leaving you feeling like your heart was about to burst out of your thoracic cavity. You slowly walked towards the door, fearing that moving quickly would wake you up from this beautiful dream. You turned the key and with a soft click the door opened.

“Hullo,” Eddie said as he walked through the door. He was wearing a black leather jacket with a white tee under it, deep blue skinny jeans and what resembled cowboy boots. “Everything alright?”

“H-hey” you stuttered, trying very hard not to embarrass yourself in front of that gorgeous man.

“Thanks for waiting for me,” he said, smiling apologetically. “and sorry I couldn’t answer your call, it was a very busy day today at set. I almost didn’t make it,”

“No worries, it was a really busy day here too. The shop was crammed with people until 5.30,“ you told him with a little bit more confidence.  

“I can see that,” he chuckled, looking at the wiped-out shelves. “It feels like you have been robbed,”

“Yeah, they bought every single one of the books that came in today and more,” you explained. “Luckily, I was thinking ahead of myself and saved a copy for you before they attacked the shop,”

“And for that I’ll be eternally grateful” he said, bowing down before you jokingly. When he looked up, his face was mildly blushed. You wonder if it was because of the effort or something else.

You walked towards the counter and picked the package lying on it. You took in a deep  breath and turned around, hoping for the best.

“Here you go,”  you said shyly as you handed it to him.

“What a lovely wrapping. Very appropriate,” he said, turning the package around in his hands. “How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing at all,” you replied, feeling your face getting hotter by the second. “Consider it a gift for your marvellous performance,”

“What? No!” he exclaimed, blushing too. “No, I cannot take it, Emma. It’s your job!”

“It’s just one book, Eddie. I won’t run out of business because of one book. Please, take it,” you encouraged him, trying to keep your coolness.

“Still. It’s not acceptable. There must be a way I can pay you back,” he said, scratching his head with his left hand. You shrugged your shoulders, unable to produce an answer.

“I think I have an idea,” he spoke with a glint in his eyes. Eddie examined you carefully, as if he was trying to detect something; your stomach was in knots. “Are you doing anything now? After closing the shop,”

Is he really saying what I think he is saying? you thought as you shook your head. Is this real life?

“We could go and grab a bite. Only if you want to” he quickly added lowering his head a bit, his ears turning a bright red.

You didn’t know what to say. Of course you wanted to. God, you’d be a fucking git if you said no, but you couldn’t find the words. You feared to speak in case you said something utterly stupid. You tried to remain calm and cool, but you could almost hear you inner self screaming YES! FUCK, YES!

“That sounds nice,” you managed to utter, looking at the floor. God, you are a fucking child. He is just a man, for fuck’s sake.

“Brilliant! Where would you like to go?” he said, smiling with relief. That made you gain a bit more confidence.

You pondered for a bit. “Hmm, nothing too expensive, really. Just regular take-away. We  could even eat here. I don’t mind,”

“That sounds like a plan. Nando’s, maybe?” he suggested.

Ugh, chicken. Not keen. And I am not really in the mood for salad- not again. “Maybe something less… meaty?” you replied, trying not to show disgust.

“Oh, sorry, I did not know you were a vegetarian. How silly of me. Well, it’s not that strange actually- that I don’t know, I mean. We only met a few days ago and we actually didn’t talk much so how was I supposed to know, right?” he rambled, wearing a half-nervous, half-apologetic smile. “Wait, are you? Sorry, I feel like an odd sense of shame now. Maybe I ought to stop talking,”

“Eddie, it’s fine,” you giggled. There was actually someone else in this world who was almost as awkward as you were. “Yes, I am. Although I rarely eat dairy or eggs, so you could say I’m more of a vegan, actually,”

“Good to know. A pizza, maybe? I’m sure they have vegan cheese options. Let me check on my mobile,” he said, immersing himself in the screen.

You could not believe that he hadn’t said anything rude about you not eating animal products. It was not like all people did say something cruel or mocked you when they found out that you were almost vegan, but you usually got weird looks and muffled laughs. It had been long before someone did not comment on it, and you really appreciated it.

“Do you like mushrooms? Because I do,” you caught him muttering still deeply lost in his phone. He was swiping up and down, checking the list of extras. “What about vegan sausage?”

“Sounds good to me” you replied, gazing at him earnestly. He was so sweet… and so handsome.

“Alright, everything set. So, where should we settle?” he said, looking around.

[lighthouseofthewanderess]

Dreams

(noun): a series of images that plays through one’s sleep and vanishes when they wake up.

‘I have a dream’, said Martin Luther King Junior. I was hearing it everywhere, and people were listening to his posthumous words. Here, the word dream felt like he meant vision, a plan. I was also hearing the phrase ‘The American Dream’ - I couldn’t grasp this one much, it only felt like it meant a happy, stress-free life for everyone. When I leave US for good, I would learn that this was the ethos of the nation; social mobility, equality, and opportunity. An ideal life. But this wasn’t the most common usage of dream either. So what did it mean to dream? What was a dream? A noun and a verb. Same words, yet an altogether new direction. I stumbled upon on Doris Day’s ‘Dream a Little Dream of Me ’ at my piano class. Some senior students were doing a rendition of it and at the sound of the word, my head snapped up. Stars. Night. Dawn. Sunbeams. She sang the words so magically, that from then on the word dream was a place up there in the sky, on a crescent moon. It was made of stardust, hope, and immense strength. The only catch was you couldn’t pull it down into your mortal life. It could visit you at night, teasing you with all the possibilities and leave you chasing life the next morning. I had a little white, angel-looking teddy bear. He used to hang from my doorknob and on my way to bed, I used to press his hands together. The lord’s prayer would disrupt the silence, and during it all, I prayed only for one thing. ‘Let me sleep soundly tonight. And in if I dream, show me another world. I will make it come true.’ For a kid, it might look like a far-fetched thought to dream of the future instead of pink cupcakes and Barbies on birthdays. But then again, I wasn’t a normal kid. I knew the time had come for me to focus all my energies on reaching that sweet spot in the sky. To chase my dream.

“I had a bad dream.” I would hear kids say in school, in movies, in books. This dream was something else, a spot inside our heads that processed what we saw in the day and enacted it out with glitches at night. I slept alone and had nightmares, but waking up I would find myself safe in my room. This version of the word I wasn’t concerned about. I still went about hunting for my dream in my sleep, not knowing that dreams are found in the waking hours with an active brain. My prayers were heard and my dream came to me, not when I was tucked in bed but at a library.

Barnes & Noble was my first glimpse at what heaven could be. Walls and walls of books, ladders and mellow yellow lighting. The sound of silence and the smell of roasted coffee. The dark green carpet felt like clouds, and the twinkling lights felt like stars. I am finally in my dream, I told myself when I entered through the double doors. Mom watched me stroll away slowly, losing myself in this universe all too fast. Because it didn’t matter if I got lost, here is a good place to go missing. I won’t say the books called out to me and that I felt like I found a treasure trove. To be frank, the library intimated me. It looked down on me smugly as if to say ‘what do you have to add to this place.’ I would spend most of my life trying to add a part of me to its shelves. But at this very moment my dream was fast approaching me. Words muffled at the other end of the huge space. I walked toward it and I found myself at a book reading. Here was a budding author, reading his book out to a select group of 30 odd people. I didn’t understand most of what he read; looked like an intense family story. Pages turned, people clapped, the book was closed shut. After that he sat next to the little stage, took out his pen and signed the books that were brought to him. Now to me, all this looked like a king sitting on his throne, and accepting the peace offerings that came his way. I want that. My mind screamed it loud and clear that it almost caught me off guard. I want to read something to people one day, and I want it to be all mine. There it was. I left this library heaven smiling ear to ear, holding my dream safely in my head. That night when I went to sleep, I was almost scared that I would wake up and find my dream missing. Silly me.

I woke up to find that excited feeling in the pit of my stomach. A knot that released little by little with every step I took towards making my dream come true. But I had a challenge on my hands; I needed to write in English and this wasn’t a language that came easily to me. I caressed the words on pages of my favorite books from then. Wizard of Oz. Junie B Jones. The Magic Treehouse. When will I be able to string a sentence like that? Or worse, will I be ever? When these doubts came my way, my the knot tightened further. And it only went away when I put some letters down. Lord of the Rings. Nancy Drew. I widened the pool of words that i could fish from to write my own tale. This was what I realized about dreams; you could be inspired by things around you, cheered on by people who believed in you. But the dream was entirely yours to make real. A grave responsibility.

I started first to say the words before I penned them down. On visits to India, I would round up a bunch of kids and wear the hat of a storyteller. Though the words were in Tamil, I came closer to articulating stories that were similar to the ones I had read. I would take my ordinary day and throw in magic, weaving story after story. ‘How akka? How do you know so much?” my cousins used to ask me. I used to smile proudly envisioning a book bound with red leather materialize on the shelves of Barnes & Noble. I was getting closer. I went back to the US and narrated the same stories, this time in English. It didn’t have the same impact, but I had managed to move my thoughts from being born in Tamil to English. I now had words that could be penned down directly instead of going through a translation first.

When I finally moved to India, I found my affinity for story telling greater than others. English was probably the only subject out of the 13 that didn’t make me cringe. In essays and comprehension I found the stepping stones to refine my dream. But like all people, I made the mistake of taking my dream for granted. Two or three years went wasted on rote learning, education for the purpose of education and soon my red book on the shelf vanished. I started considering other possibilities for my future, started searching for a new dream instead of nurture the very first. It’s alright, I convinced myself. Especially with people stabbing the thought of writing as a profession, I learnt to look for something new.  People change. Dreams can change. Then came one person, and proved me so wrong.

Sharath Konidala was a friend of a friend. He seemed sorted for a kid and I was drawn to spending more time to be like him. But the thing that kept me in awe of him was his big dream. Not little at all, and not the second or third. His first and larger than life dream was to become a pilot. When a 6th grader utters a sentence like that, you don’t tend to believe him. But this boy put one foot in front of the other and marched his way to victory. He left our school early but I kept an eye out on his life. He’s chasing his dream, and I really wanted to see him win. For the larger part, this sudden excitement for someone’s else dream was only because I wasn’t doing anything about mine. Look at him go! Everything he’s doing, he’s doing for his dream. The knot was back in my stomach. I had to write to get past this laziness.

And I wrote. I kept a dream journal, pen downed my ideas and turned them into English essays. The teachers sometimes read out my work. I transitioned from essays to poetry next. Mrs Emily was the first to recognize that I had something in me screaming to see the world; she gave me a notebook and asked me to show everything I write to her. I worked on The Chronicles of the Unicorn Riders and breathed to life Vernetta. The knot got tighter when I realized it wasn't easy. Writing and reading were both subjective. There’s no right and there’s certainly no wrong. I went on to  win poetry slams and competitions. Give me a topic and watch me. What an adrenaline rush. I remember that in one of the competitions, I got there 15 minutes late and I had only 15 more to dish out an award-winning poem. And I did. When people clapped for me on stage, I morphed the scene into a library and for that split second I could feel the throne behind me. Almost there.   There was one final thing holding me back from my dream, my intended career. All the scores pointed to me wearing a white coat and hanging a stethoscope around my neck. They said I can be a doctor and still write. They said writing isn’t going to put food on the table. If only they could see me now. I took the escape pod and joined a media communications course in Pune. Leaving Bangalore gave me the familiar rush of packing bags and starting afresh. Once there, I focused on observing people and building my characters. I worked on a blog; stuck posters at film schools. On the day of the launch, I had a 278-visitor hit on the site. My name was out there in the universe, floating among the clouds. I need to get on that moon. I moved back to Bangalore to be with my mom, my rock for all these years. I joined a creative agency. And then something broke within me.

You see, I believed I had made my dream my life. I believed I was ‘over the moon’. I convinced myself that this is why I moved streams and put myself through 3 years of pure chameleon behavior in Pune. But the disappointment hit me like a salty wave over an open wound. Book signing - gone. Name in the universe - fading. Suddenly my dream felt far-fetched, farther than it ever had been. It felt like I had arrived but in a parallel plane. I was working with words every day, but not the ones I wanted to read out to a select group in a library. And the next thing I did was try chasing another dream, just like I did when I moved to India. I still wrote on the side, but little snippets on thoughts that came to me in random moments. Every day as I turned the corner of my street,  I looked up and hoped that I would be able to write something with soul; sending another prayer to let inspiration come my way. I was so wrong to think I even needed praying for inspiration. And this time I didn’t need another Sharath to point me in the right direction. Like always, a period of latency droned on but during the same time, my body was getting increasingly restless. I felt like a shaken up soda bottle, and instead of waiting for someone to pop the cap I decided bursting with my words was better. That’s how I’m here writing all these things about my life. I don’t even know if everyone will want to read it, but I can surely remove myself from my life and feel proud of myself.

Dream: A heaven within you that struggles all its life to get out into the world. A conflict-causing thing that pushes you to take any path you want as long as the destination is the same.